#can they really say they’re choosing to be murder when they don’t know how to do anything else

[darkbluekies]

Make things right? Or make them worse?

Yandere!doctor (platonic to his children) x twin daughters ocs x female!reader

Summary: Dr Kry’s children finds out their fathers dark secret, and he's determined to silence them.

Warnings: toxic household, yandere, favoritism, guilt, poison, mentions of murder (things along this way)

A/N: I have created my own poison for this story, so I choose the effects. Lol.

Word count: 6.2k

“Bye, dad”, Lydia says and closes the car door.

Her twin follows out of the car, almost hides behind her like a shadow. Lydia frowns confusedly. She’s been more silent than usual this morning. They turn to walk into school.

“Girls”, Dr Kry says through the open car window, catching their attention. “I want you here at three sharp, okay? I’m not in the mood for waiting.”

“Yes, sir”, Lydia answers. 

“Good. Have a good day, girls, I’ll see you later.”

With that said, he drives off. Lydia turns to Nadia who finally raises her gaze from her feet. 

“What’s wrong?” Lydia asks and fixes her backpack. “You’ve been acting off all morning.”

“I have to talk to you about something”, Nadia says hesitantly and looks at her with uneasy eyes. 

Lydia blinked and frowned. “What?”

“I was meaning to talk to you earlier, but I didn’t want to do it when dad was around.” Nadia glanced at the other students swarming around the school grounds. “It’s about mom … and her sickness.”

For as long as they can remember, their mother has been bound to her bed by a rare disease. Thankfully, their father is a remarkable doctor and has been caring for her ever since the twins' birth. He works at a hospital in the city and travels forty minutes back and forth every day, dropping the twins off at school on the way there, and picking them up on the wayback. When they were young, they were put in a private school carefully chosen by their father — who has been very active in the administration.

Their father is a complex person. Although they’ve been by him their entire life, they still feel like they don’t know him. He rarely talks about himself, and seem to have a human side for their mother only. Very rarely, there’s a soft side for the girls … often they’re met by a doctor, rather than a parent. Despite that, Lydia has always been a daddy’s girl, while Nadia has clung to their mom for love and comfort. 

“What about it?” Lydia asks carefully. 

“I heard something …”, Nadia starts and licks her lips nervously. “I heard these noises, from mom and dad’s room-”

“Don’t tell me you heard them have sex”, Lydia grimaces. 

“No …” Nadia shakes her head, eyes shaking. “They were talking. Mom was crying and daad was standing by the bed, holding her cheeks in his hands like this …” She cups her sisters cheeks in demonstration, “...while saying: ‘you’re never going back there, I’ll never share you like that again’.” She shivers. “I-I don’t know what that was, but it made me feel really weird.”

Lydia frowns, trying to picture the scene in front of her. 

“Are you sure that it wasn’t just dad’s weird love language?” she asks carefully. 

“I don’t know”, Nadia sighs defeatedly. “Mom seemed … scared. She looked up at him with eyes full of terror. She could have had a nightmare or something, but dad’s voice- … it was awful. I don’t know how to describe it, but it sounded extremely dark.”

“We could try to ask her.”

“What if dad hears?”

“I could distract him while you ask, if that helps you ease your worry.”

Nadia smiles gratefully. “Thank you, Lyd.”

Lydia gives her an unsure smile and grabs her hand and they walk into school. 

Like Dr Kry had asked them to, they stand by the gates at three sharp. His white car rolls over and the two of them jumps in, Lydia in the front seat and Nadia in the backseat.

“How has your day been?” he asks and drives off. 

He always asks about their classes, teachers and friends. If there’s a small detail he doesn’t like, he makes sure to contact the school and let them know his thoughts. More than one friendship has ended thanks to his overprotectiveness and the twins has learned to dilute the truth enough for him to be able to swallow it. So once again, they answer in the way he wants to hear it. 

The car drives from the city, gets off the highway and enters a countryside road. The dirt road is divided in the middle with grass, creating enough space for the wheels of his white car to roll forward. Here, nothing can be heard except the sounds of distant birds. Their white, edwardian villa is surrounded by a deep, dark forest, close to a gigantic sparkly lake with the closest neighbor being a kilometer away. Despite the isolating upbringing the twins have had, getting away from the noisy, stressful city to the empty forest always cleanse their brains. 

The white, Scandinavian, edwardian aged, wooden villa appears behind the trees like a castle. The house has two floors with a green atticroof, and a bushy, blooming garden in the same color, two glass verandahs on either side of the house and a white fence around the garden.

The twins get out of the car. Nadia gives her a look and Lydia nods. 

“Dad”, she says. “I’ve been feeling a bit weird these last days … I think I’m going to be sick.”

“Really?” Dr Kry asks and frowns. He closes the trunk of the car. “Who have you been around? Are any of the other students sick?”

“A few.”

“Nadia, are you feeling bad too?”

“No”, Nadia replies.

“Could you please give me a check up?” Lydia asks. 

“Alright, come with me”, Dr Kry says and nods at her to follow him. 

While they walk inside, their father and Lydia walks to the living room and Nadia sneaks off upstairs. She moves carefully to their parents’ room and knock gently on the door before entering. Their mother, you, is lying in bed with a book in her hand. You look as weak as ever. Nadia shivers. 

“Hi, sweetheart”, you smile and puts down your book on your chest. “Did you have a good day in school?”

“Yes …”, Nadia mumbles and sits down on the side of the bed, unsure on how to start this absurd conversation. 

“What’s wrong, Nadia?”

“What happened yesterday? WIth you and dad?”

You flinch. Your smile disappears for a moment for it to appear quickly again, but this time in a fake manner. 

“Why did he say that?” Nadia asks carefully. “Why did he say that he wasn’t going to share you again?”

“O-Oh, that …”, you mumble with an embarrassed smile. “It was nothing, don’t worry about it. It was just some adult stuff that me and your dad were talking about.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, honey. Why? Did it make you worry?”

Nadia nods slightly. Y/N gives her a smile and takes her hand. 

“It’s okay, sweetheart, there’s nothing to be afraid of”, you reassure Nadia. “Whatever happens between me and your dad is nothing you have to be afraid of. We will always put you and your sister first, okay? There’s nothing you have to be worried about. I love you, darling.”

“I love you too, mom …”

You hug her, and Nadia hugs back, but she can’t help but feel that her heart sinks. Something isn’t right. 

The very next day when they’re left off at school, Nadia grabs Lydia’s arm. 

“Let’s go to the hospital”, she says the second their father’s car disappears behind the corner. She holds up a metallic key. “I have the key to mom’s old room.”

“What?” Lydia asks in confusion. “Why?”

“I have a feeling that mom isn’t really sick and I have to take a look around in her old hospital room. Something isn’t right!” She clears her throat and lowers her voice. “Mom and dad met at the hospital and that he was her doctor, that much we know, right?”

Lydia nods, trying to follow along. 

“Isn’t it weird that a doctor as professional as our dad decided to start a relationship with a patient like that?” Nadia asks, sounding unsure. “And wouldn’t he have done everything he could to make mom feel better? Shouldn’t she be better now? I just … I want to know if he has done something.”

“Do you really think he has?”

“I don’t know. I really don’t know. But something isn’t right, and I feel that. Mom seemed to be put on the spot when I asked her about the interaction I had overheard. She seemed scared.” Nadia grabbed her hand in hers. “Please, Lyd, can we go there and just take a look?”

Lydia hesitates and glances at the private school behind them, contemplating the consequences. 

“Please”, Nadia repeats. “If mom is getting hurt, I want to help her.”

“Okay”, Lydia nods. 

With that said, they hurry past the school gates before a teacher has the time to catch them. They take the first bus to the state hospital their father works at and hope that he’s with a patient while they sneak around. 

They hurry inside the hospital and keep their heads down to make sure that none of the working receptionists would recognise them and report to their father right away. They stay silent until they get into the elevator. 

Once out, they sneak over to the door. Lydia stands guard as Nadia presses the key into its lock. The click from the key opening echoes in the empty corridor. Nadia’s hand hovers above the door handle. Her heart twirls around uncomfortably. In a moment, she will be in the room where their parents met, where something happened that made their dad take the decision of stepping over the professional line. If that was good or bad is yet to be known, but she can’t help but feel worried. 

The room is empty, in more than one way. The spirits of old memories haunt the room and they leave a sour taste in the twins’ mouths. Lydia looks towards the bed. Their mother has been lying here for months with a sickness that has kept her bed bound for years. But what happened while she was here?

“What are we looking for?” Lydia wonders. 

“Anything”, Nadia shrugs and looks around. “Whatever that can help us is fine. Journals, reports, notes — anything.”

They start to rummage through drawers, in binders and notepads. Lydia finds herself holding a yellow paper binder with their mother’s name written on it, in their father’s handwriting. 

“Nad, look at this”, Lydia says and holds up the binder. 

They put the binder on the desk and start to pull out papers. Every paper is written from the top to the bottom in ink.

“He has documented her every day …”, Lydia says, perplexed. She shakes her head in denial. “Every single day, every single hour. Obsessively. Look, every little detail is written down. ‘12:35, eaten an apple’, ‘16:52, took a shower’, ‘22:30, called for me on the telephone’. What is this?”

Nadia picks up another paper, a smaller, clearly supposed to be hidden between the other sides. She puts her hand over her mouth as her eyes widens. 

“Oh no”, she gasps and drops the paper. “No, no, no, no …”

Lydia frowns, bends down and picks up the paper. Her heart sinks as she reads the note. It’s a single word, but they’re familiar with it. They’ve found bottles of it in the cellar and the attic multiple times, and when they asked Dr Kry about it, he answered that it was a substance to kill vermin.

“He’s poisoning mom”, Nadia whispers in horror and looks at her twin with wide, terrified eyes. 

Lydia feels the air disappear from her lungs. Suddenly, she feels nauseous. She sits down on the rolling stool and tries to control her breathing. Nadia sinks down on the bed with her head in her hands. 

“What the fuck do we do?” Lydia breathes out with her eyes staring dimly in front of her. She has never felt this empty before, this helpless. “What the fuck do we do now, Nadia?”

“W-We have to call the cops”, Nadia gulps. 

“The cops? Nad, he’s our dad!”

“But if he hurts mom …” Her voice dies out. “We can’t let him take more years from her.”

Lydia nods and wipes the few tears that have begun to run down her cheeks. With shaking hands, she unzips her backpack and shoves the binder down. They will need evidence if they have to prove to the cops. 

The door behind them opens. Both girls fly up from their positions and scurry over to each other. Dr Kry walks in and stops abruptly in the door. 

“What are you doing here?” he asks quickly. 

He’s trying to force a smile, but the red eyes of his daughters and the trembling bodies of theirs are all he needs to see, to know that they know. 

“How fucking could you?!” Nadia screams. 

Dr Kry hurries to close the door as she continues to shout through sobs. 

“What’s your deal with mom?!” she screams. “How can you keep her like this?! Where’s your fucking conscience?!”

She thinks that she’s going to explode in pure fear, anger and sorrow. Dr Kry clenches his jaw and sighs heavily. 

“Your mother is a very, very special person”, he says slowly, as if he is talking to a ticking bomb. “It is all a misunderstanding, girls, I will tell you everything at home. Come, we’re going home now.”

“We’re not going anywhere with you”, Nadia spits and stands in front of her frozen sister. 

“You don’t have to be afraid of me.” Dr Kry rolls his eyes when they don’t answer. “You’re my daughters, and you are not yet of age, you have to come with me.”

Nadia wants to refuse again, but she doesn’t want to leave her mother alone with him, not when he knows that they know. 

“Now”, Dr Kry decides. 

Nadia picks up Lydia’s bag and gives it to her sister. It looks like Lydia is going to throw up any second now. Nadia takes her hand and they follow their father out of the room, and out through a back door. For the first time, Lydia sits down in the backseat together with her twin. They hold each others hands tightly and keep silent the entire car ride home. 

“Girls, I never wanted you to see that”, Dr Kry sighs and tries to meet their eyes in the rear view mirror. “I- … It’s hard to explain. Your mother is a very special person who I’m very lucky to have met.”

Lydia squeezes her eyes shut, but she can’t keep him out of her head. 

When they come home, Nadia drags her sister into the house. 

“Girls, don’t go upstairs”, Dr Kry says in that same dark voice Nadia had heard him talk in a few days ago. “I want you to stay down here.”

They halt, suddenly too scared to move. 

“I want you to help me with dinner”, Dr Kry says. “Come on.”

The twins glance at each other. Lydia starts to drag her sister to the kitchen. They help in complete silence. Lydia’s hands are trembling while she cuts cucumber and it slips, cutting a slit in her finger. She yelps and drops the knife. 

“Oh, honey”, Dr Kry breathes out and grabs her hand. “You have to be careful.”

She doesn’t look at him as he washes her hand under the kitchen sink and puts on a bandaid. Her entire body is in fight or flight mode. 

When Dr Kry takes care of the final touches, the twins scurry up to their mother. Your face drops when you see them. 

“Why is he doing this to you?” Nadia asks thickly as she tries not to cry. “We found out.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry, girls”, you say sorrowfully. “I wish that you never had to know.”

“Why do you let it happen?” Lydia asks quietly. 

“I have no choice … I can’t do anything.” You lower your gaze and voice to an ashamed whisper. “I don’t have the energy to run away, and if I managed to, you’d be in danger and I’d be dead. Your father has the only antidote to his self made poison. It’s safer for everyone if I stay here.”

“But mom …”, Nadia whimpers, “... he’s hurting you.”

“I … I know, dear.” 

The door opens behind them. 

“Girls, dinner”, Dr Kry says shortly and nods towards the corridor. “Go downstairs.”

The twins turn to you, wanting you to make their decision. You give them a reassuring smile and they leave. You look at the man who has become your husband, much to your dismay. 

“Why did you let them find out?” you whisper with tears in your eyes. “You promised that they would never know!”

“I didn't think that they would.” He wipes the tears that roll down your cheeks. “I’ll fix this mess. Don’t worry, darling.”

With that said, he tucks you in and leaves to go downstairs. The twins have sat down by the dining table with their blank, staring eyes turned down into the table. Dr Kry sits down and start to eat, without seeming to care at all about the incidents that happened earlier. Nadia stares down into her plate with disgust roaring in her stomach. If she eats, she’s going to throw it all up in a matter of thirty minutes. She closes her eyes and sighs sadly. Lydia tries to eat a bite, forcing it down her throat. 

“Nadia, eat a little”, Dr Kry says. 

“I’m not hungry”, she mumbles. 

“You need to eat a bit. I won’t allow you to leave the table before you have eaten. Look at Lydia, she’s eating.”

Lydia feels her cheeks heat up as the attention turns to her. She’s suddenly embarrassed over obeying. Feeling exposed and naked under Nadia’s look of disbelief, as if she’s just broken a silent pact. But instead of saying anything, Nadia picks up her fork and takes a bite of the white rice. The twins can agree that this might have been the worst dinner they have ever experienced. 

Nadia puts her hand over her heart and clears her throat. There's a heavy feeling over her chest, something almost suffocating. She looks to the side, seeing how Lydia is frowning as well, trying to clear her throat. Nadia think that she looks like she’s going to faint. She wants to ask her how she’s feeling, but doesn’t dare talk in front of their father, afraid to start a conversation. 

After dinner, the twins decide to go upstairs, but their legs suddenly feel weak enough to break apart. 

“What’s going on?” Lydia whispers and grips the staircase railing. 

“I think that he put something in the food”, Nadia whispers back. 

“I feel really sick …”

She falls down on her knees in the middle of the staircase, still holding onto the railing. Nadia hurries to pull her up again and drags her over to her bedroom, lazily tucking her in. 

“Don’t leave me”, Lydia whimpers and grabs her hand before she can leave the room. “Stay … please. Don’t go. I'm scared.”

Nadia agrees, not wanting to leave. She climbs down under the covers of Lydia’s bed. They lay in silence and look up at the tilted, wooden ceiling. For every minute passes by, they’re growing more and more sick. Every muscle in their bodies seem to ache, twist and turn. 

“He’s doing it to us too”, Nadia whispers. 

They hear the lock on the door click and give each other terrified looks. Nadia stumbles out of the bed and feel the handle. She gulps in horror and turns back to the bed. 

“It’s locked!” she says and breathes out in shock. “He actually locked it …”

“Come back …”, Lydia begs and reaches for her. 

Nadia returns to the bed, crawls down under the covers and hugs her. She wraps her arms around her sister and rests Lydia’s head on her shoulder. 

“I’m scared”, Lydia whispers. 

“It’s going to be okay”, Nadia replies, although she doesn’t believe it herself. “We’re going to be okay.”

Dr Kry removes his tie, about to go to sleep. 

“I can’t believe you …”, you whisper from the bed, with her eyes down at her trembling hands. 

“Darling …”, Dr Kry sighs and turns around. 

You raise your tone, but keep it hushed enough not to exceed the bedroom walls. “You promised that they would never get hurt! You promised that they would never get exposed to this fucking substance!”

“They haven’t … yet.”

“Yet?! Don’t fucking tell me-”

“They figured it out, okay? They heard our conversation and decided to check out the hospital for themselves. I underestimated their intelligence … and their love for you.” He sighs annoyedly. “I’m not going to let their lack of understanding break apart our family — that I have fought so hard for. I put something in their food to keep them still for a while. It’s nothing dangerous, little one. I promise you that.”

“If I knew that you were going to break your promise-”

“I had to.”

He is about to caress your cheek, but hears sounds coming from next door. One of the girls is banging on the locked bedroom door, and calling for him. Dr Kry excuses himself and gets out of the room. He walks over to Lydia’s room, where the noise is coming from. Quickly, he unlocks, finding Nadia leaning on the wall right next to the door. Her eyes are full with tears. 

“What’s going on?” Dr Kry asks. 

“Lydia isn’t waking up!” Nadia cries.

Dr Kry feels his body turn cold. He runs over to the bed where his other daughter is lying on her side, and he soon finds out that Nadia is right — she isn’t waking up. He shakes her, gives her gentle taps on her cheeks and lifts her up. Nothing wakes her. He has to take her to the hospital. 

“Wait, where are you going?!” Nadia screams after him as Dr Kry carries her sister down the stairs. “She doesn’t want to be alone!”

“You have to stay here with mom”, Dr Kry says over his shoulder. “I’m taking care of Lydia.”

He hurries out of the house and quickly places her down in the back seat. Dr Kry’s usual forty minute drive to the hospital took only twenty five minutes this time. He picked her up in her arms and ran inside through the backdoor, and didn’t stop until their reach the room you have spent many, many months in. Dr Kry places his daughter down on the very same bed you have laid in. He placed an oxygen over Lydia’s mouth and nose, turning on the machine. He hasn’t felt this scared in a long time. 

Finally, after an hour, Lydia opens her eyes with a small moan. Dr Kry hurries over to the bed and removes the mask. 

“How are you feeling?” he asks her and brushes the hair out of her face. 

“I feel really sick”, she whimpers. 

“Do you need to throw up?” 

Lydia nods. Dr Kry picks her up again and moves her into the bathroom where she hovers over the toilet for ten minutes. Dr Kry holds her hair back and grimaces sadly. He does feel bad for putting her through this, but he has to. 

“There you go”, he says and puts her down on the bed again. 

“Why am I here?” Lydia asks weakly.

“You weren’t responding when anyone tried to wake you up. I got worried, so I decided to take you here.”

“Am I going to die?”

Dr Kry scoffs out a smile in a weird sensation of deja-vu. He has heard that question a lot, in the exact same tone and manner, but from the generation before her.  

“You’re not”, he reassures her and strokes her hair. “You know that I would never let anything happen to you.”

“Why am I feeling like this?”

“I put something in your food to make you and Nadia calm down, but you seem to have reacted badly to the substance … weirdly enough. Since you’re identical twins, i thought you’d react the same, but it seems like you are a bit more sensitive than your sister.”

“Nadia ate less than me.”

“Yeah, you might have gotten more substance in your body, which is why you feel worse. It’s going to be okay, I will not let anything happen to you.”

“But you hurt me.”

His smile drops and his hand stops stroking her hair. He knows that Lydia shares half of her mothers genetics, but he didn’t know that she would sound exactly like you. She has never heard you use these phrases, and yet Lydia has chosen the exact same wording that you have tortured Dr Kry with years ago. 

“I didn’t mean for you to end up here”, Dr Kry sighs and continues to stroke her hair. “That was my fault, I admit that. However, I had to keep you and Nadia a bit sedated because of how scared you were.”

“Why did you use so much?” she whimpers. 

“I was a bit shaky myself, I wasn’t meant to hurt you, Lydia.”

Lydia sighs shakily and sinks down in the mattress. She wants nothing more than to go back home, to Nadia, but at the same time she knows that if she goes back home, she will be locked in her room again. Continuing with life now that they know their father’s secret will be difficult. 

“How long do I have to stay here?” she asks quietly. 

“Until you’re feeling better”, Dr Kry replies and stands up. “For now, I think that you need to sleep. It’s late.”

That’s the last thing she wants to do. She has always been Dr Kry’s (not so subtle) favorite, and she has always had a preference for her father … but for the very first time, she’s afraid of him. She can’t trust him anymore, especially about her health. Being unconscious is the last thing she wants to do. 

“I don’t want to”, Lydia says pleadingly. “I’m not tired … please don’t make me sleep, dad.”

Please don’t make me sleep. Your voice echoes in his head, in the exact same tone. Dr Kry knows that he did a million things wrong when he kept you here, and now he has a second chance to fix things. 

“Okay”, he breathes out and sits down on his stool. “You don’t have to sleep, darling.”

Lydia gulps and looks around in the room, trying to imagine how you had felt while being here. She feels a heavy sensation over her chest, like a heavy stone. She couldn’t see the poisoned air purifier that was mentioned in the journal. 

“Did mom lay here?” Lydia whispers. 

“Yes”, he answers quietly. 

“How long?”

Dr Kry looks down at his nails, eyes faltering. “A, uh … very long time. Many, many months.”

She starts to look around again. “Where is the air purifier?”

“It’s not here … it broke, a long time ago. I had to throw it away.”

“Do you still use that kind of thing on mom?”

“No, I don’t. Not often.”

But he has his new way to make sure you stay.

Nadia runs her hand through her hair. Her poor sister. What should she do? Dr Kry left the rooms unlocked, which means that she can move around. She drags herself into your bedroom. You look at her with wide, nervous eyes. 

“Is she okay?” you ask and take Nadia in your arms. 

“I-I don’t know”, Nadia responds shakily while shaking her head desperately. “She wasn’t waking up and …”

“She’s going to be okay. I know your father can all of those medical stuff … maybe a little too well.” You sigh and caress the seventeen-year old girl’s face. “It’s going to be okay.”

Nadia shakes her head. “No fucking way things are going to be okay! He’s a madman, mom.”

“I … I know.”

“We can’t stay here.”

“Where are we supposed to go, Nad? We have no car, nearest neighbor is a kilometer away and we have poison in our blood. Sweetheart, we can’t walk far.”

“Mom, we have to leave. We can’t stay here with this psychopath!”

“Nadia …”

Nadia sighs frustratedly and hides her face in her hands. Something has to work. The farthest she has seen you walk is out to the garden when they’ve had picnic evenings. You take her hand, removing it.

“Sweetheart … you know dad loves you, right?” you ask carefully. You don’t want her to hate her him, after all he is her father … but you have to let her know the truth, no more living in the shadow.

“Fucking doubt it”, Nadia mutters. 

“He does. In his … own little way. But I need you to understand that he has sides that he hasn’t shown you … a-and I don’t want you to see those sides.”

Nadia’s face goes blank. You’re trying your best not to get swindled back into old memories, but thinking about that murderous side of Dr Kry brings you back to a time you much rather would want to forget. 

“Mom?” Nadia asks blankly and almost shouts in panic. “Mom! What sides?”

“He … He is a very patient man, but he can't take as much as possible, so please, whatever you do … cooperate.”

“What does that mean? Mom?”

Nadia goes cold. That’s it, she thinks, they have to leave. 

“Mom, get up”, she says and grabs the blanket before ripping it off. “Now. Before he returns.”

“Nad-”

“We have to try, at least. Please.”

You hesitate before getting out of bed. Nadia grabs your hand and try to pull you out of the bedroom, but everything around you seem to spin. Your entire body is heavy and aching in all the wrong places. 

“Nadia, wait”, you groan. “If I’m going to move, I have to move slowly.”

“Alright”, Nadia agrees. “I’ll go get some stuff and then meet you by the stairs.”

Nadia runs to her room to collect her wallet and hoodies for herself and her sister, then runs to get your jacket. She meets you by the stairs, helps you put your jacker on and then start to lead you down. You’re terrified of falling. 

“Nadia, I don’t think that this is a good idea”, you mumble and think back of your numerous escape attempts, all ending with someone losing their life. 

“We have to, mom”, Nadia pleads. “I can’t leave you here.”

“What about Lydia?”

“I’ll figure something out afterwards.”

Nadia unlocks the front door and leads you out on the glass verandah. You’re filled with fear. What if you can’t walk? What if you hurt yourself? What if Dr Kry finds out? Your body won’t be able to take his anger. Besides, you have barely left the house in eighteen years — apart from a few car rides here and there — what if the world has changed to something you don’t like?

“Mom”, Nadia says slowly. “It’s going to be okay.”

“I’m terrified”, you admit. 

“We will be okay.”

They start to walk along the dark countryside road. There are no streetlight this far out in the forest, but the moon lights up enough for them to see where the road is heading. 

“It’s been years since I was outside last”, you say. “I think the last time I was out walking was in the garden, last summer when we had that picnic.”

“Have you ever tried to run away from dad before?” Nadia asks. 

“I have”, you answer quietly. “A few times.”

“Did you ever succeed?”

“That depends on what you mean by ‘succeeding’, because I’m still here, aren’t I? But I got away a few times … the only problem was that he found me again.” You sigh, realizing that perhaps you shouldn’t have this conversation with your underage daughter. “Forget that. Where are we going?”

“We need to go to our neighbors. They have to help us.”

Nadia has only spoken to the neighbors a few times, because of how rarely they run into each other. 

They only manage to walk a hundred meters before bright, beaming headlights light up in front of them. Nadia wants to flee into the forest — in case it happens to be her father behind the wheel — but can’t seem to pull you with her. The car stops and to Nadia’s horror, her father gets out. 

“What the Hell are you doing?!” he shouts, sounding both angry and terrified. “Y/N!”

You freeze in your spot and seem to crawl together like a hurt dog, sounding like one too. Dr Kry runs over to you. Nadia watches in horror and starts to panic, wondering what she should do. Stay here with you and get caught in Dr Kry’s claws … or make a run for it to try to get help. 

“I’m sorry”, you shriek in fear. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry-”

Dr Kry hugs your shaking body in his arms and strokes your back, hushing softly.

“I know you didn’t come up with this stupid idea”, he reassures you. “Don’t cry, my dear, I'm here now. I know this wasn't your fault. I'm not mad at you. I’ll get you back home and I'll take care of you. It’s going to be okay.”

He helps you into the front seat. You don’t fight back in the slightest. Nadia looks back at the dark forest and gulps. Her eyes glues onto something in the backseat and realizes that he has come back with her sister! 

“Nadia, get in, we've had enough of these childish outbursts”, her father tells her. “Get in. Now.”

“Is she okay?” Nadia almost stutters and points at her sleeping sister. 

“She’s okay. If you don’t get in now, Nadia, I’m taking them both with me and you’ll never see them again.”

His favoritism has never been clearer, Nadia thinks. She can’t leave her sister … so she gets into the backseat. Nadia wakes her sister up and caresses her cheek. 

“Are you okay?” she whispers quickly. “Did he hurt you?”

“I feel okay”, Lydia whispers back. “Just … tired. I had tro throw up a lot and I think that he gave me some sleeping pills or something. I insisted on going home … so he let me.”

Nadia breathes out. She glances over at the front seat. Their father holds the steering wheel with one hand and yours with the other. 

“Please don’t cry”, he wishes. 

Nadia watches on in disgust. 

When they get back to the white villah, Nadia pulls her sister up to her own room and lays her down on the bed while Dr Kry takes you into the master bedroom. 

“Here you go”, Nadia says and tucks her in. “Are you okay? Do you need anything?”

“Some water”, Lydia says quietly. 

Nadia disappears downstairs to get a glass of water. She meets her father in the stairs. 

“Nadia, I’m not sure your sister will be able to leave her bed for a while”, he says warningly. “I wouldn’t try to leave, if i were you. If you do, I will take both of them with me, and you’ll never see them again.”

“Do you like to hurt your family?” she spits back. “What kind of sadist are you?”

“One to make sure my family stays with me. If you don’t want to end up in the same physical state as your sister and mother, you’re going to continue living as if everything is normal, got that? Go to school, come home, study, continue everything. No talking to anyone about this. Is that clear?”

“So everything as normal … but without Lydia?”

“Exactly.”

“Why aren’t you healing her?”

“Because I’m not going to let you, or anyone, take my family from me. Be glad that I’m still letting you live normally.”

Nadia glares at him and continues up the stairs. She holds the glass to Lydia’s mouth, watching her sip. 

“What now?” she whispers. 

“I’m allowed to continue living like normally … and you don’t”, Nadia says quietly. “I’m sorry.”

“But … but I don’t want to live like mom!”

“I know. I’m sorry, Lyd.”

The girl in the bed sighs sadly. Naida takes her hand and gulps. 

The coming weeks seem normal. Nadia goes to school, studies, returns to the villah, but nothing is the same. Without Lydia, there’s no use in being on top. She has no one to impress anymore. Her father is dead to her, and sucking up to him makes her sick. She barely talks to her friends anymore. They’re always asking her about Lydia, and why she’s not in school anymore. Nadia can’t come up with countless excuses … it’s easier to distance herself. 

Life doesn’t seem that bright and colorful anymore. Nadia can’t bring herself to be excited about things that used to interest her badly. Now, every day is a chore, something she wants to get done, until something happens … but she doesn’t know what it is. A death in the family? Someone saving them? Someone killing someone? 

Nadia walks out of school, seeing her fathers white car parked outside the gates, and him inside … waiting for her. 

[corrodedcorpses]

Boys on Film. Part ii.

Pairing: PS!Steve x PS!Eddie x Virgin!reader

Summary: It's been a week since you watched that tape and you haven't been able to get the images of Eddie and Steve out of your head since. Scared you'd say or do something weird around them, you've decided to avoid them instead. But of course, they show up announced just to torture you.

Warnings: Smut (18+), light angst, Masturbation (female), Voyeurism, Oral sex (m)

Word count: 9.5k (god damn)

a/n: Here's part 2!! Finally! Thank you so much for the love on the first part and I hope everyone enjoys this part!! Definitely more parts to come 🫢

Part 1 // Part 3

It’s been a week since you’d watched that damn video. A week since you’d even dared to touch yourself, the feelings of guilt growing each second that past since you’d come down from the most intense orgasm of your life. 

Ever since that night you hadn’t been able to bring yourself to see them, or hardly even talk to them. They’d been ringing you nonstop but everytime you picked up the phone and heard their voice you could practically hear them moaning through the receiver. Each time you’d given them some excuse to end the call early, opting now to just not pick up the phone at all. 

Of course they wouldn’t know what you’d done but you couldn’t shake the intense feeling of guilt. You felt guilty for seeing them like that, sure but you mostly felt the guilt at how much you ached for them now. How you would do anything to swap places with the girl in the video. 

How you wanted your first time to be them. 

You’d thought about nothing else and had imagined every scenario of you asking them to be your firsts. But every scenario you played out in your head ended with rejection. There’s no way they would ever see you like that, you were certain.

You also knew that they would sense something was wrong and you were certain Steve’s charm and Eddie’s smirk could convince you to confess to murder. There’s no way you would be able to keep your mouth shut.

But, even if you did somehow manage to just not mention it you weren’t sure you could be around them with all these new and weird feelings bubbling inside you. How could you stand to be around someone when your whole body longed for them? 

***

Steve waited outside his house as he heard the familiar sounds of Eddie’s van coming down his street, the usual beat of some metal song Steve automatically recognises being heard before he could even see the van. I definitely hang out with Eddie too much, he thinks to himself with a fond smirk. 

He nervously picks at the skin on his fingers as he waits for Eddie’s van to park before jogging down the driveway to meet him. He isn’t nervous to see Eddie, it's you. You've been distant with both of them and they’re worried. It’s not like you to push them away no matter what. So they both decided to show up at your house tonight, favourite takeaway in hand and get to the bottom of what was going on with you. 

Eddie greets Steve as he climbs into his van. 

“Do you think she’d prefer Chinese or Pizza tonight?” Eddie asks while backing out of the driveway. 

“You choose,” Steve mumbles back. He’s uncharacteristically quiet and maybe even a little sad, Eddie notices. 

“Hey, I’m sure whatever’s bothering her isn’t that big of a deal. She’ll talk to us, don’t worry. 

Steve sighs in response, “you’re probably right, I guess I’m just thinking the worst. But what if we’ve done something, what if I’ve done something? Like something really bad and I didn’t realise?” Steve rambles. 

Eddie tries his best to listen intently as Steve goes through the list of scenarios swimming around in his head. 

“What if she has a boyfriend?” Steve questions, practically spitting the last word. He freezes as he realises how that must have sounded, “No- ah, I don't mean like that, of course she can have a boyfriend, it's not like she needs, my- um our permission and I wouldn’t like care, just, her last boyfriend was awful and I don’t want her hurt like that again”.

“Yeah, shit, I hated that guy,” Eddie agrees, brushing over the other awkwardness but Steve sees a weird and unreadable expression on Eddie’s face at the mention of your possible boyfriend being the cause for you pulling away so suddenly. “We only saw her less than two weeks ago anyway, there’s no way she could have met someone that fast,” Eddie reassures Steve, although it sounds like he’s trying to convince himself more. 

“Well, ah that’s not exactly true man,” Steve says sheepishly, “I did see her a couple days ago at the grocery store, right before I called you actually”.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I said hi and she was weird man, she was looking around too, like anywhere but me as if she was looking for someone maybe?” 

“Oh.” Eddie clenched his jaw as his knuckles turned white against the steering wheel. 

***** 

You had just gotten home from work and changed into something comfortable, contemplating what you wanted for dinner tonight when you heard the unmistakable sound of Eddie’s van pull up your driveway 

Shit. 

You knew it was too good to be true that you would be able to keep your distance. Your goddamn amazing, sweet and thoughtful bestfriends of course knew you were avoiding them and of course they couldn’t just let you. 

You quickly check yourself in the mirror, brushing down your hair and feeling weirdly self conscious in the tiny lounge shorts and singlet top both Eddie and Steve had seen you in countless times. 

You contemplated changing into something more baggy but didn’t have time as you heard a rap at your door. It’s just Eddie and Steve you tell yourself as you open it. 

The minute you see them they’re pulling you into tight hugs, telling you how much they both missed you. You mumble back that you missed them too but can’t help feeling tense under their once comforting touch. 

“We bought your favourite”, Eddie sang as you let them inside, jiggling the plastic bag in his hand.

Your gaze lingered a little too long on Eddie's fingers as he gripped the bag, thoughts immediately going to how they looked wrapped around his cock or tangled in Steve’s hair. It’s not like you’d never noticed Eddie’s hands before, especially with those bloody rings he wore but it seemed as though you were seeing them, really seeing them for the first time. 

You felt arousal pool at your core at the thought of them exploring all over you, inside of you. 

I’m going to ask them.

You jumped as you felt Steve’s hand on your shoulder, realising you’d been staring at Eddie for way too long. 

“You okay honey?” Steve asked, concern scrunching his features. 

“Y-yeah, yeah sorry, I’m just a bit tired I think,” you replied with a weak laugh, “let's eat.”

Eddie and Steve share a look but don’t say anything as you all sit at the table at your usual spots. The spots you’ve all sat in millions of time, eating, laughing and drinking with the closest friends you’ve ever had. Friends that meant the world to you. Friends you couldn’t lose. 

I can’t ask them. 

Eddie and Steve started up a conversation, talking about a new scene Steve had done, how it was “by far one of the craziest”. Usually you’d be interested in what it was but as Steve kept rambling on, you just couldn’t get yourself to listen. Too caught up in your own thoughts as you mentally battled the ache between your legs. 

It’s not like they’d care right? I mean they do this for work. It’d just be like work. It couldn’t hurt to ask at least… unless they completely reject you and you ruin the best friendship you’ve ever had. 

But they did that scene together, they even kissed and did… other stuff and it didn’t ruin their friendship. If anything they seem closer now, it would be the same for you, right? 

But that’s their job. It would be different with you. You’re less skilled, less confident, this isn’t your job. 

Maybe it would be better with you? You’ve known them forever, maybe they’d be even more comfortable if it were you? 

God, you’re not even listening to what Steve’s saying. You feel like such a bad friend. Here you are thinking about fucking both of them instead of listening and having a nice dinner with them. A dinner of your favourite food that they surprised you with because they knew something was off with you. 

How did I get lucky enough to have these two boys in my life?

But you were lucky. These two boys knew you. They knew everything about you and would never judge you. Even if they didn’t want to do it with you, you knew they’d be nice about it. God knows they’ve said and asked you more embarrassing things, they’d forgive you, they’d be kind. 

You want your first time to be them. 

You knew you’d never be able to think straight unless you just asked them. Before your brain could catch up with your mouth you suddenly blurted it out.

“I wanna fuck,” you cut off Steve suddenly, almost yelling it out and startling them both, “me, both of you, want you to fuck me.” The last bit comes out in barely a whisper. 

Wow so smooth 

Eddie all but chokes on his food while Steve lets out a shocked what????

You look down at your lap, fiddling with your fingers as your cheeks flush with embarrassment… this wasn’t how you were going to ask and that definitely wasn;t the reaction you’d hoped for. 

They both stare at you, waiting for some kind of explanation. 

“I watched the tape,” you mumble. 

“Ohhhhh,” Eddie says as Steve looks at him confused. Steve didn’t know that Eddie dropped the tape off, shit. 

“The tape, Harrington,” Eddie explains, “you know, of the two sexiest men alive doing some very naughty things together.”

It finally clicks in Steve’s head what you’re both talking about. “You gave her a copy of the tape?” He asks. 

He sounds angry, you think as shame washes over you. 

“How did you even get extra copies yet?” Steve asks Eddie. 

“I gave her my personal copy,” Eddie shrugs. 

They’re glossing over your question. 

You sink in on yourself further. This was such a bad idea, of course they wouldn’t want to fuck you. The girl in the tape was so confident, so experienced. Why would they want to go for someone like you? There’s no way they’d have any fun with you. 

“Didn’t want her to have to wait until it was fully released and good thing I didn’t. You liked what ya saw that much huh sweetheart?” Eddie says cockily.  

You know he doesn’t mean it to come out mean but it has you on the verge of tears. You feel so embarrassed, contemplating running to your room and locking yourself in until they leave. You can’t bring yourself to look at them. 

Steve kicks Eddie under the table at seeing your reaction to his comment. 

“Ouch! Dude what the-“ he goes to scold Steve but quickly stops at the look on Steve’s face. Steve cocks his head towards you and gives Eddie a look of shut up, look what you did. 

Eddie looks over at you, seeming to only just notice how much you’ve shrunk in your seat. Tears threatening to fall out of the corner of your sad, embarrassed eyes. 

“No, sweetheart, I’m sorry please don’t cry,” Eddie tried to console. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have teased you I just ah, did not expect that.” 

Steve seems somewhat pleased with that and tries his best to sooth you too. “Come on honey, we’re not mad or anything, promise,” Eddie nods in agreement and mumbles out a “yeah absolutely not”. “We were just a little shocked is all.” Steve continues with a laugh. 

You finally chance a glance at them. You’re surprised to see no anger or teasing looks on their faces. They look kind, safe and maybe like pitying you just a little bit. Still not what you were hoping for but you’d take it over them being angry and hating you forever. 

You take a deep breath before finally talking properly for the first time all night. 

“I’m sorry, I should’ve found a better way to ask, it’s just,” you sigh, trying to form the right words this time, “you both know I’m not the most experienced - or really experienced at all- and the little experience I do have… wasn’t the best.” 

Eddie snorts, recalling you ex- douchebag with a scoff of “understatement”. You smile slightly at how annoyed he still is at how your ex treated you. 

“And I just,” you continue, “when I saw both of you, with that chick, and how much she was enjoying it and how much fun it looked, I guess I just felt like maybe I was missing out.” 

“Hey,” Steve coos, taking your hand gently in his,”you’re not missing out on anything, there's no timeframe for when you have to do that stuff.”

“I mean, it is definitely fun,” Eddie expands, “but only if you’re comfortable and feel like it’s the right time for you.”

You give them both a small smile. They’re so nice, but they still didn’t say yes. 

“I’m sorry I asked,” you say sheepishly, “I just feel so safe with you both and I guess just thought that maybe sex would actually be good with you. I know that was stupid because you’re my best friends and I wouldn’t know what I’m doing so I know you wouldn’t have fun with me. I can’t do the things that the other girl did.”

Their hearts swell at your confession, you feel safe with them. But they grow confused as you mention the girl from the tape. 

“Hey,” Eddie tries, “experience doesn’t mean shit -”

“Eddie, I can hardly even make myself cum!” you practically yell at him, you appreciate them trying to be nice but you’re growing frustrated at the whole situation, “I know you both don’t want to and I know you wouldn’t have fun, it’s okay.”

“Wait seriously?” Eddie exclaims before he can stop himself. 

Great, another thing to feel shame about.

This earns him another look from Steve.  “No not like that,” Eddie tries to rectify what he said, “it just seems like a real shame that a pretty thing like you hardly ever gets to feel good, even from herself.” 

You roll your eyes at his trademark flirting but have to hide the smile trying to grace your lips at him calling you pretty. 

Steve and Eddie share a look, seemingly having a silent conversation. You really hate how much closer they’ve gotten recently. 

“Alright,” Eddie says with a nod, “we'll do it.”

“What?” you question.

“We wanna help you out,” Steve explains, “we want to be your firsts, if you still want to.”

You’re hearing things. You must be. The shame got too much and you passed out, this is now some weird and cruel trick your brain is playing on you. It has to be.

“A-are you sure?” you question hesitantly. 

“Positive,” Eddie says while flashing his gorgeous smile, “hell, if I’d known it wouldn’t ruin our friendship I would’ve been all over you since highschool sweetheart.”

You shake your head and bite back a smile. You know he’s joking and just trying to butter you up - but you’re only half right. 

“Well, how do we start?” You blurt out, you want them, need them right now. 

“We’re not going to do anything tonight babe” Steve says sweetly. 

“Oh, right,” you say embarrassed but they both smile sweetly at your eagerness. 

“I’m free Tuesday and Wednesday next week, what about you two?” you ask. 

“Yeah Tuesday works for me.”

“Me too.”

“Perfect,” Eddie says, “so Tuesday we’ll meet here and then we can sit down with you and figure out your likes and dislikes, what you have and haven’t done, and what you’d like to try. Just like we do before any scene we’re in.” 

You’re kind of surprised to see Eddie so serious, all business. But you guess that makes sense, this is his job after all. 

You appreciate how serious they’re treating this but can’t help but feel a little nervous now, you’re not even sure what you like. 

Sensing your nerves, Steve quickly reassures you, “don’t worry, we’ll walk you through it okay?”.

“Yeah, we’ll figure all that stuff out together,” Eddie adds.

“Okay”, you reply. 

Steve gives your knee a reassuring squeeze while Eddie flashes you a smile. You can’t believe how much you trust both men in front of you. 

The rest of dinner went by smoothly. You felt like a huge weight had been lifted off your chest and you finally felt like your old self again. It was back to normal, just you, Eddie and Steve. 

****

Wednesday comes around faster than you expected. You thought that the days in between would drag on but as Wednesday approached you found your nerves easily drawing the excitement you’d once felt. That’s when Wednesday seemed to be in front of you too quickly. 

You’ve spent all afternoon after you got off work frantically cleaning, showering, drowning yourself in nice smelling things, washing your hair, moisturising, your whole routine practically 5 times over. 

You hear a knock on the door, yelling that it’s open as you check yourself over once more in the mirror. You wipe your clammy palms on the front of your singlet top and shorts while trying to huff out all of your anxieties. 

Come on you can do this, you wanted this.

You reach for the door with shaky hands, slinking out of the bathroom on jelly legs. You find them both relaxing on the couch, looking much more comfortable than you feel. 

“H-hey,” you stutter out sheepishly. Their heads turn to you as they hear you enter. Comforting smiles adorn their faces, melting a tinge of your worries as soft heys leave their lips. Eddie pats the couch in between the two of them and you plop down between them, not meeting their eyes as you pick nervously at the skin on your fingers. 

Eddie puts his arm on the back of the couch, absentmindedly playing with a strand of your hair as Steve places his warm hand on your knee. The gestures are supposed to be comforting but you can’t help but flinch slightly under their touch. 

“Are you okay?” Steve asks softly, ducking his head to try and meet your gaze. 

“Y-yeah,” you respond shakily, hating how small your voice sounds. 

“Hey, you know we don’t have to do this, yeah?” Eddie asks reassuringly, “say the word sweetheart and we’ll just hang out and watch a movie or something.”

“No, no, I want to… I just have no clue what I'm doing,” you respond with a nervous laugh.

“That’s what your own personal sex gods are for darling,” Eddie quips. 

This earns a chuckle from you and Steve, your shoulders relaxing slightly at the familiar feeling of Eddie. 

“So,” Steve announces, “what are some of your “hard no”s?” And at the confused look on your face, “what’s something that, no matter what, you do not want us to do.” 

You looked away from him as you thought long and hard…. You came up blank though, how could you know what you didn’t like if you didn’t even know what you do? 

“Hard No’s could be something like you hate neck kisses or in more intense situations you’re not a massive fan of face slapping, things like that.” 

Your eyes widened at that. 

“We’re not gonna do anything like that now! No slapping or anything, yet,” Eddie emphasised that with a wink, “but those are some examples.” 

“I-I like neck kisses… I think,” you mumble, “and if we’re not going to do anything that… intense right now I guess I don’t really have any?” 

Eddie and Steve nod as they hang on to your every word. The care in which they’re approaching this definitely helping to lower your rapid heart rate. 

“Okay,” Steve continues, “anything you really want to try right now?” 

“Umm… I guess I wish I was better at kissing,” you say with a cringe, embarrassed at how tame that request was, you try to cover yourself as your cheeks heat up. “I mean, I have kissed before, obviously, I just haven’t for a while and I dunno I feel like I kind of do it weird I don-“ 

Eddie cuts off your rambling when he brings his hand to cup your cheek. You look in his eyes hesitantly as you subconsciously nuzzle into his calloused hand. 

A small smile adorns his lips as he searches your eyes, his own chocolate orbs darkening slightly as he glances at your lips. 

He slowly brings his thumb up to ghost over your bottom lip, causing goosebumps to rise on your arms. 

“We can definitely help with that, sweetheart,” he whispers lowly as he moves increasingly closer to you. 

You nod slightly. Trying to will him to close the sliver of a distance between your lips. 

“Words,” he whispers.

“Please,” you breathe. And it’s all Eddie needs to hear before closing the distance, his lips barely pressing into yours as if too much pressure would break you under him. 

Feeling a surge of confidence you push your lips into his more. It’s all the confirmation he needs before he’s deepening the kiss. It’s all consuming, years of emotion, comfort and longing all coming to the surface as you kiss each other with vigour.  

You feel Steve’s soft lips travel up your shoulder to the slope of your neck and up along your throat. You audibly shiver at the feeling, causing Eddie and Steve to smile into your lips and neck. 

“Yeah you definitely like neck kisses,” Steve teases in between the feather touches. You don’t know if it’s from Steve’s tone or the kisses themselves but you can feel arousal pool in your panties because of it. 

You feel all consumed by Steve and Eddie but before you can lose yourself in them completely you feel Eddie pull away. He smirks as you chase his lips but uses the hand still cupping your cheek to gently direct you towards Steve. You see that he also has his other hand cupping Steve’s cheek as he brings you both together. 

Steve’s kiss is gentler than Eddies, where Eddie was all consuming Steve is controlled, where Eddie was intense and a little messy Steve is gentle and longing. Eddie’s hand on your face means he can slightly manoeuvre your face, gently guiding you as you and Steve explore each other's mouths. 

Eddie then pulls you away from Steve, you’re about to protest but before you can Eddie leans forward on the couch, dragging Steve with him before crashing his lips against Steve’s in front of you.

You watch in awe as they practically devour each other. You can tell they were definitely holding back for you as this kiss is feral and bruising. It has you clenching your thighs together, longing for them to handle you like this. 

You’re also very aware of Eddie’s hand still cupping your face and Steve’s hand still on your knee, both of them rubbing soothing circles in your skin to let you know they haven’t forgotten about you. 

You whine as you watch the continued onslaught, causing Eddie and Steve to finally break the kiss. 

“This is supposed to be about her,” Steve breathes into Eddie’s lips, faces barely pulled away from each other. 

“Couldn’t help myself,” Eddie mumbles, staring at Steve’s raw and glistening lips. 

“I don’t mind,” you say quickly, as much as you’d love for their attention to be back on you, you cannot deny how erotic it was watching them together, “trust me.”

They chuckle at how breathless you sound just from some kissing, but it only spurs them on more. 

Eddie leans away from Steve then, dropping his hand from Steve’s face to bring both hands up to your face, palms pressed into your cheeks gently, contrasting the fierce kiss he seers into your lips. 

The kiss still doesn’t match the roughness of Eddie and Steve’s kiss but it’s by far the most intensely you’ve ever been kissed. It’s all consuming and leaves you breathless but aching for more. You subconsciously press yourself further into Eddie as you let him consume you. 

Eddie can’t get enough of you either, wishing he’d had the courage to do this years ago. He expertly hooks his hands under your knees and drags you on to his lap, swallowing the gasp you let out into his mouth, lips never leaving each other. 

His hands venture up the sides of your plush thighs, you can tell that he’s holding back, doing his best to not overwhelm you but you need more. You tangle your fingers in his soft, frizzy hair, pulling every so slightly, as you start to timidly rock your hips against him, earning the most beautiful groan from him. 

You hear Steve shuffle closer, sitting with his thigh pressed into the side of calf as you straddle Eddie. His hand travelling up your back soothingly until it comes to rest on the side of your neck. 

At hearing Steve shuffle forward, Eddie pulls back from you again, so that Steve can capture your lips but also so he can take a breather, self control drastically slipping away the longer he feels your body move on his. 

Steve matches Eddie’s intensity, causing you to let little moans and sighs slip into his lips as you continue to grind against Eddie. Your little shorts and soft fabric of your underwear were almost soaked through.  

Eddie watches you both, pupils blown completely black from lust. You rock your hips at a particularly good angle, dragging sinfully over Eddie’s almost hard dick. He hisses and throws his head back, willing himself to stay softer for long. This is about you, he tries to remind himself. 

“We should take this to the bedroom,” Eddie sighs with a shaky breath, desperation lacing his words.

You giggle and hop off his lap, taking both of their hands and pulling them up off the couch before turning to lead them to your room. Boy are they thankful for you going first, their eyes watching your ass jiggle in your incredibly tight and tiny shorts as you walk. 

You stand awkwardly in the middle of the room as they both filter in after you. 

“So, we’ve talked about it,” Steve breaks the silence first, “and we think the first thing should be you showing us how you get yourself off.”

“That way at least you know how to make yourself feel good and it's a real shame you’re missing out.”

“O-okay,” you mumble, but don’t move, you’re not really sure what they want from you and you’re frozen from the fear of making a fool of yourself. Also trying not to think about the fact that they’ve talked about it, talked about you and how to make you feel good without you. But also very thankful that they’re obviously taking this very seriously. 

After a pause Eddie continues, “why don’t you take your shorts off for us, yeah?”

You nod, and with trembling fingers you slowly slide your shorts off. Both boys eye your core, clad in cute cotton panties. 

“These are cute,” Eddie whispers, ghosting his fingers along your bare thigh before snapping your waistband lightly against you. You jump and giggle, ducking your head as your cheeks turn crimson. 

“Hop on the bed for us?” Eddie asks, but it’s more of a request, “Get nice and comfy against the headboard.”

You do as they say, leaning back against your pillows half propped up as the boys come to kneel at the end of your bed, watching you intently. You’re confused as to why you’re not fully naked, or at least have your underwear off but don’t have time to dwell on that. 

“Whenever you’re ready, beautiful,” Steve coos. 

Before you can overthink it you move your underwear to the side, plunging your finger in straight away. “Whoa whoa whoa, hey,” Eddie stops you and you freeze and take your finger out instantly, looking up at him with worried eyes, anxious thoughts swimming in your head, “you just put your fingers in straight away?” 

“Well yeah…” how else were you supposed to finger yourself? 

Steve smiles at your innocence, trying not to laugh at how adorable you look right now. 

“Jesus well no wonder you can’t make yourself cum, there’s no foreplay” 

You just look at them confused. 

“You know,” Steve tries, “you gotta get yourself warmed up.” But you still just stare confusedly at them. 

They exchange a look, wondering how else to explain it to you.

“Hang on I got an idea,” Steve says, climbing towards you on the bed. Your breath hitches as you watch him crawl towards you, very aware of his proximity to your half naked form, even though you just had your lips all over his minutes ago. “Sit up and scoot down for me a little bit honey?” 

You do as he says and he comes to sit behind you, legs outstretched on either side of yours. He softly drags his fingertips down your arms, until he reaches your hands, you go to hold his hands and you feel him smile against the side of your head. 

“Other way,” he whispers and you flip your hands so that the back of yours is resting in his palms. 

“That’s it,” he coos, “now rub your hands up your thighs, yeah, just like that.” Goosebumps started to rise on your skin from the slight touches, running up and down your legs, sometimes dipping in between them but never actually touching your core. 

“Give those gorgeous tits some attention Stevie,” Eddie demands softly, eyes burning holes into you and Steve in front of him. 

Steve complies silently. Bringing your hands up for you to cup one of your breasts, squeezing softly as your other hand teases the waistband of your panties. Everything feels so good and so sensual but it’s not enough. You start to get antsy, whimpering softly and arching into your own touch, willing Steve to give you more. 

Your eyes meet Eddie’s silently begging him to make Steve do something. You’re lucky that Eddie seems to be in a gentle mood today as he smirks at you. 

“Why don’t you show us those pretty tits properly huh?”

“Please,” you whine desperately. 

Steve lets go of your hands to lift your shirt over your head, discarding it somewhere on the floor. You suddenly feel very self conscious but the look of awe on Eddie’s face and the sharp intake of breath you hear Steve take behind you has you feeling more confident than you thought. 

You can’t help but think back to the look on their faces as they watched the other girl on the tape. You feel almost pride as you realise the way Eddie is looking at you is different, better. He’s looking at you not just with lust but with awe and adoration. 

Steve finally brings both of your hands up to cup your tits firmly, nudging your thumbs up to rub your nipples into hard perks. You moan at the feeling, head lulling back against his shoulder and grinding into the mattress to try and gain some friction. 

“God, look at you,” Eddie practically moans, “wish you could see how pretty and needy she looks right now, and so wet.” You whimper at his words, grinding harder and pinching your nipples. 

“Yeah?” Steve whispers, lips grazing your ear, “that feel good princess? You ready for some more?” 

“Please more, n-need more,” you beg. 

“Mmm good girl using your manners,” Eddie teases, as he inches his hands towards your core, hooking his fingers in the waistband of your panties. Your stomach flips at the praise, breath hitching. Finally you get to be their good girl. Steve takes note of that. 

Eddie pauses, looking at you for confirmation before pulling them down your legs once you nod. 

Any previous nerves you might have had at being fully naked before them, especially while they were still fully clothed is gone. Replaces only with lust and your need to come. 

Eddie repositions your legs so that they’re spread open and bent before him as he leans back on his heels between them. Steve finally directs your hand to your core. 

“Think you can do this part yourself?” He checks, “we’ll still walk you through it though okay?”

“Yeah, I can,” you reply. 

“Good girl,” he coos much more sweetly than Eddie, smirking when he gets a similar reaction, “leave this hand up here though, keep giving these tits some love.” 

You nod and Steve lets go of your other hand, it’s all up to you now. You dip your fingers near your core, but this time you run your fingers over it, surprised at how wet you feel as you smear the slick around. 

“That’s it, pretty girl, nice and slow,” Eddie coos.

You finally dip your finger into your dripping cunt, moaning at how much more intense it is compared to usual. You pump your finger inside you, and try your best to remember to play with your nipple at the same time. 

Slowly you add another finger, pumping them faster. 

“Do you usually play with your clit too baby?” 

You shake your head, “it’s never really felt that good.”

“You’re nice and wet, trust me it’ll feel good,” Eddie assures you, “use your thumb but keep those fingers going in your pretty cunt.”

Your eyes roll back at his words as you bring your thumb up to circle your clit. You jolt as you feel the pad slide over the wet bud, 

“Fuck it feels so good,” you moan as the boys smirk at you. 

You speed up your assault on your sopping pussy. Feeling the telltale signs that your orgasm was rapidly approaching. 

“‘M close,” you warn desperately. The sounds of your fingers flying in and out of your dripping core filling the room. 

You vaguely hear them tell you that you can cum before your orgasm crashes into you. It's so intense it has you practically screaming, legs shaking as you drench your hand and wrist. 

It lasts for what seems like hours as you continue to finger yourself through it before slumping back against Steve, fingers falling from your abused hole. 

You’re a panting, whimpering mess as you finally register Eddie and Steve whispering sweet praises of you did so good for us, you’re so pretty baby and bet that felt good sweet girl. All while Steve caresses your shoulders and arms as Eddie smooths circles in your ankles. 

When Eddie can see you’ve finally returned to earth he asks how it was, a smug look gracing his features. 

“So good,” you moan with a laugh. 

Eddie then climbs in between your legs, giving you a soft kiss as he mumbles “you look so pretty when you cum for us little one.” The old nickname has your heart swelling and cunt pulsing. 

“More,” you whimper against his lips. They chuckle at you as Steve presses a kiss to your temple. 

“Not today sweetheart,” Eddie responds, “wouldn’t want to overwhelm you”. 

“But what about you two?” you ask innocently, wanting nothing more than to get your hands on more of them. 

“It’s okay sweet girl,” Eddie coos, “you don’t have to worry about us.” Steve mumbles in agreement, pressing more kisses to your temple and cheek. 

You suddenly remember the position in the tape that made you get to the edge fastest, Steve on his knees in front of Eddie. You need to see them fully, you need to see what you got a glimpse at on the tape. 

“Hey you know, in the- ah, in the film,” you start, nerves suddenly returning. Eddie cocks his head, interested in where this is going. “A-after you,” you nod towards Eddie, “had fucked her and then Steve um… knelt in front of you and um-” you try your best to explain it but you can’t seem to form the words you need. Brain foggy from your orgasm and nerves. 

 “You wanna watch Stevie suck my cock baby?” Eddie asks cockily, finishing your request for you. 

You nod.

“hmm guess it’s a good way to teach her how,” Steve reasons.

“Mmm,” Eddie hums in agreement,  “and I’d be lying if I said seeing you cum didn’t make me as hard as a rock sweetheart”. You look down and blush at the obvious outline of Eddie’s hard cock in his pants, eyes bulging slightly. You knew he was big, you saw it in the tape, but seeing even the outline in person was completely different. You meet his eyes again and he gives you a wink, causing your cheeks to heat up. 

“Yeah shit,” Steve replies, “me too.” That’s when you realise you can feel his boner pressed against your back, causing you to blush even further. Surprised you had the effect on both of them. 

“Besides,” Steve continues, tone flirty, “would love to get my mouth around that pretty cock of yours again Eds.” You whimper at his words which causes both of them to chuckle fondly at you. 

“Hop up baby,” Steve instructs while patting the sides of your ass fondly, “We’ll go kneel in front of Ed’s on the floor while he sits on the bed, everyone can be nice and comfortable like that.” 

You nod as you hop off the bed. Eddie rids himself of his shirt as he sits at the end of the bed, grabbing one of your pillows to place on the floor before helping you to kneel on it in between his spread legs. 

Your eyes wander over the expanse of his chest and stomach unabashedly. Feeling much bolder in your post orgasm haze. You take in the black ink that lines his chest and arms, a few more than you realised he’d had and that you’d definitely missed while watching the tape. In your defence you were a little preoccupied then.

Your eyes linger a little on the happy trail that dips into the waist of his jeans. You’re suddenly very aware of the fact that you’re going to see Eddie, all of Eddie in person. Something you'd be lying if you said you hadn't thought about, many times, since that first week at highschool. 

Your eyes travel up and take in how his curly locks cascade over his shoulders, almost covering the demon that adorns his upper chest. Your eyes finally meet his and you realise he’s been watching you watch him the whole time, an amused expression on his face. 

He brings his hand up to cup your face, rubbing soothing circles in your skin. Your eyes flutter slightly as you nuzzle into his hand. 

You notice Steve as he comes to stand next to you, having taken his shirt off too as well as his jeans, leaving him in nothing but his boxers before you. His dick has softened slightly but you can still make out a pretty clear outline of it in your boxers. The site makes you ache for them, but you know they’re going to make you take this painfully slow. 

You look up at him in awe as he comes to kneel beside you, capturing your lips with his, smiling as he kisses you sweetly. 

“Ready Eds?” Steve asks tauntingly, pulling away from you, already knowing Eddie’s answer. 

“Yep,” Eddie replies, popping the last letter of the word. 

Steve’s hands smooth up Eddie’s thighs, looking up at him innocently. He goes to pop open the button of Eddie’s jeans but before he can, a thought crosses your mind. 

“Do guys need to be, like, “warmed up” too?” you ask innocently. 

“Not exactly,” Eddie responds with a sweet, gentle smile, “maybe a little bit to get hard but trust me, watching you cum and having you two pretty things kneeling in front of me is more than enough warming up for me.” He chuckles with a shake of his head, like he’s in disbelief of the sight in front of him. 

Steve finally unbuttons Eddie's jeans, pulling his pants and boxers down as Eddie lifts his hips to help. You and Steve move back slightly so Eddie can get his pants off fully. 

You watch, mouth slightly agape as his dick springs up against his stomach, tip red and leaking precum. Your mouth waters at the sight, but you wait for Steve to demonstrate. 

You watch as Steve takes Eddie in his hand, gripping loosely as he licks from his balls all the way to the tip. Your eyes flick to Eddie’s face, watching as his eyes flutter softly as he sucks in a breath at the feeling of Steve's tongue on his shaft. 

After licking up and down Eddie’s length a couple of times Steve finally takes the tip into his mouth, sucking wetly on it. You watch with lidded eyes as Eddie’s head lulls back, exposing the length of his gorgeous neck as he moans out “jesus Steve.”

Steve smiles as much as he can with Eddie still in his mouth before bobbing his head up and down along the length, taking more and more into his mouth with each movement. He suddenly brings his hand up to the length not in his mouth before pulling off Eddie fully with a pop and spitting a string of saliva over the tip. 

You watch it drip slowly down the length, mouth opening slightly at the urge to lick it up. 

Steve then brings his hand up, catching the spit and rubbing it all over Eddie before taking him back in his mouth, Eddie’s hand flying to Steve’s head to tangle his fingers in the golden locks. You feel more arousal coat your slit as you watch Steve suck Eddie’s cock desperately. 

You hear pretty, soft moans coming from Eddie. You tear your eyes away from Steve to glance up at Eddie’s face. You look at him through lust filled eyes. His lips parted slightly as his moans fall off them, eyebrows furrowed slightly as his face contorts with the onslaught of pleasure, his bangs sticking to his sweaty forehead. He looks breathtaking. 

Eddie notices you staring, dark, chocolate orbs finding your lust filled ones as he holds your gaze, staring deep into you as he continues to moan and whimper. 

Your body feels like it's on fire. You need to feel Eddie down your throat. 

“Can I try?” you ask suddenly. Tearing your gaze from Eddie back to Steve as he releases the older boy from his mouth. His lips are red and swollen, mouth wet from a mix of saliva and Eddie’s precum, his hair dishevelled from Eddie’s fingers and tears pricking the corners of his eyes. 

“Sure thing pretty girl,” Steve rasps, his throat raw from Eddie’s cock, “you think you got it?”

You nod before leaning forward, tongue darting out to rub along Eddie’s slit as Steve still holds the shaft for you. The salty, musky taste of the mix of Eddie’s pre and Steve’s saliva invades your mouth, you need more. 

Cautiously you take the tip into your mouth, sucking on it lightly. You hear Eddie suck in a shaky breath in response, your confidence growing as you start to suck more harshly. 

You start to bob your head before Steve pats your head mumbling out a one second. You release Eddie from your mouth with a confused look on your face and Steve just wants to kiss it away. 

He grabs your hand with the one not around Eddie and brings it to his lips. Kissing the palm before spitting directly on to it. You gasp slightly at the action, not realising how turned on that would make you. 

Steve then directs your hand to Eddie’s length, replacing his hand with yours. You take the tip in your mouth again, using the other hand to jerk off the length not in your mouth, as Steve had. 

You start to bob your head faster and take more of Eddie into your throat. His moans increase and you can tell he’s trying his best not to tangle his fingers roughly in your hair too, knuckles white as he grips the duvet instead. 

“God, you’re such a good girl,” he moans.  You get a little too cocky when his head hits the back of your throat violently, causing you to gag on his thick length, you hear Eddie moan in surprise before you’re pulling off of him, spluttering as tears prick your eyes. 

Eddie rubs your head soothingly, while Steve rubs your back, cooing softly at you until you stop coughing. 

“Sorry,” you mumble, feeling embarrassed by your reaction. Eddie wipes away a stray tear that’s fallen down your cheek 

“S’okay baby,” he reassures, “you don’t have to go that deep.”

“I just wanted to make you cum,” you mumble, looking down at the floor. 

“Oh sweet girl, trust me you will,” he expels air, almost in disbelief at how good you were making him feel, “you were getting me so close.” 

“Really?” you ask, eyes twinkling up at him. 

He nods with a fond look on his face, “wanna try again?”

You nod vigorously, gripping on to his shaft again. You remember how Steve had licked the length of Eddie before taking him into his mouth. You repeat his action from earlier while maintaining eye contact with Eddie, earning you a low moan of oh fuck before taking him into your mouth once more. 

You bob your head a couple more times, speeding up and making sure you keep jerking off the part you can’t fit into your mouth. Eddie's hand flies to your head but he tries his best to not push your head or grab your hair too tightly. 

His head tips back with a groan, orgasm hurtling towards him after holding back and being edged for so long - not that he minded, he wanted to make this good for you, even if that meant being edged all night. 

Eddie turns into a babbling mess, “fuck baby I’m getting so close, yeah just like that, you’re such a good girl for us, yeah, don’t take it too deep, just keep going like that sweetheart.”

You feel Eddie’s dick get incredibly hard, pulsing in your mouth and you know he’s close. 

“Oh fuck baby, if you don’t stop I’m gonna cum in that pretty mouth,” he warns. You only look up at him, maintaining eye contact as you continue to suck him. 

“Shit, you want it, don’t ya baby? My dirty fucking girl,” he drawls out. 

You moan in response, the vibrations shooting straight up Eddie’s spine. It’s all Eddie needs to send him over the edge. 

“I’m gonna, fuck sweetheart, I’m gonna-” Eddie cums down your throat with a loud moan, you do your best to swallow it all but some of his cum dribbles out the side of your mouth involuntarily. 

Once you’re sure you've got the last drop you let Eddie fall out of your mouth with a pop. Eddie and Steve stare at you in awe, you look completely fucked out with you glassy eyes, swollen lips and cum dripping down to your chin. 

Steve can’t help himself - he’d missed the taste of Eddie too much-  he leans forward, licking from your chin to your mouth before capturing your lips in a sloppy kiss. Tongue frantically exploring every crevice, savouring any taste of Eddie he can get. 

Eddie watches you both, panting as he comes down from his high. He can see the outline of Steve’s hard cock straining painfully against his boxers, his mouth waters as he gets an idea. 

“I’d hate to break you two up but I think Stevie more than deserves some attention from us too sweetheart.”

You break the kiss with a wicked smile on your face, oh he definitely does.

“Wanna help me babe?” He asks you. 

“Please,” you reply too sweetly. 

“Alright, swap with me Steve,” Eddie instructs. 

The boys swap positions and Steve rids himself of his boxers before sitting in his spot on the bed. You swallow hard at the sight of his thick cock before you, much thicker than Eddie’s is and you’d struggled with his. Your uncertainty must show on your face because Steve tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. 

“Don’t worry, Eddie’s gotcha honey,” he reassures cockily. 

“I’m gonna put my hand on your head okay?” Eddie explains, “then I’m gonna move it so one of us is sucking him off while the other plays with his balls and then we’ll swap, sound okay?”

“Jesus…” Steve pants at the idea, there’s no way he’s gonna last with both of you playing with him. You nod at Eddie’s question as his hand comes to tangle softly in your hair. 

He guides you to Steve’s balls while he takes Steve’s tip into his mouth. Steve groans loudly at the sudden onslaught of pleasure from you both. 

You lick Steve’s fuzzy sack sloppily before chancing at taking one into your mouth and sucking lightly. He gasps at the feeling, accidentally bucking at the feeling. You expect Eddie to gag but you’re surprised at how easily Eddie takes him almost all the way down his throat before continuing to bob on him lazily. 

You feel Eddie tug your hair lightly, making you change positions with him. You open your mouth as far as it’ll go before taking Steve’s glistening tip into your mouth. The stretch to your jaw was intoxicating. 

You feel Eddie’s head move up again towards the tip so you release Steve from your mouth, thinking you’re swapping positions again but Eddie doesn’t let you move your head back to Steve’s balls. You watch as he continues to lick all over Steve’s shaft and tip, so you decide to copy his motions instead. 

You both lick messily around Steve, a mix of saliva and pre coating every inch of him. Every now and then you feel Eddie’s tongue graze your own until you’re both practically making out over the tip. You can hear Steve panting and moaning above you. Every time you glance up at him he's watching you both with a dazed, almost pained expression. 

“You guys are, fuck, I’m getting close,” Steve warns. 

At Steve's warning Eddie directs you back to Steve’s balls and you gleefully take one back into your mouth. Eddie takes most of Steve’s length into his mouth, deepthroating him and swallowing, before hallowing his cheeks and dragging his mouth up to the tip . He repeats this over and over until you feel Steve start to shake above you. 

Steve doesn’t even get a chance to warn you both before he’s cumming in Eddie’s mouth with a broken cry, hands flying to both of your heads, holding you both close to him. You’re the first to pull back, watching as Eddie sucks the last out of Steve’s tip with a whine. 

Eddie hears it, and before you see him swallow he’s crashing his lips to yours, shoving his cum covered tongue down your throat. You gasp as it invades your mouth but the sound quickly turns into a moan as you taste Steve on your tongue. 

The kiss is heated and dizzyingly dirty. You’re moaning into each other’s mouths, hands gripping on to each other as your bodies start to inch closer together. You think you’re finally going to feel Eddie’s body pressed against yours when he stops suddenly. 

Eddie could feel himself getting worked up again, and knew if this continued he would have a hard time holding back, wanting nothing more than to make you cum over and over again on his fingers, tongue and cock. Another time he reminds himself. 

All three of you sit panting, none of you willing to break the silence that’s fallen over the room. 

You laugh breathlessly, “holy shit”, you exclaim in disbelief at how the night had unfolded, it was perfect. 

Eddie and Steve copy your breathless laugh. 

“That good huh?” Eddie asks

“It was, shit, it was so good.” 

“Good,” steve responds, “it was fucking good for us too.”

“Fuck yeah,” Eddie agrees. 

“Alright,” Steve groans as he stands up with a stretch, “I desperately need a shower.”

You and Eddie roll your eyes and chuckle at Steve fondly, he sees and give you both the finger while walking back to the living room to grab his and Eddie’s bag, throwing it at the other boy, earning a full blown laugh from you. 

Eddie then stands up before flopping on to the bed, grabbing out to you until you crawl up beside him to join him. He lays on his back while you snuggle up on your side next to him, barely touching each other but close enough to take in the comfort of the others presence. 

“Ya know, if I didn’t know you better I’d think you were lying about being a virgin babe,” he says with no malice behind it, tucking your hair sweetly behind your ear.

You snort and roll your eyes at him. 

“I’m serious!” he assures you, “one of the best blowjobs of my life.” 

You shake your head at him but take the compliment anyway, a smile plastered to your face. 

You lie like that for a while, staring at each other in comfortable silence. Eddie loses himself in your gentle eyes, all the feelings he’s harboured since highschool threatening to spill once again. 

He keeps them to himself though, not wanting to ruin the moment and knowing that wasn’t what this was about. This was just about helping out a friend, so she could be more confident. So she can finally show everyone else the amazing person he’s always seen. 

He watches as your face seems to fall slightly, it’s a subtle change but he picks it up either way. 

“Hey,” he coos, “you still with me?”

“Y-yeah, im fine,” you insist. He doesn’t buy it. 

He gives you the look he always does when he sees straight through your lies, you know there’s no point hiding it. 

“I, um, I don’t know if I wanna be alone tonight,” you whisper. 

You hadn’t noticed the shower had stopped until you hear Steve walk into the room, beating Eddies to reply to you. 

“Duh, of course we’re staying,” he answers. You look up at him in the doorway, drying his hair with a towel and you notice the green and white plaid pjs hanging low on his hips and soft cotton shirt tight against his chest. 

“You’re staying?” you exclaim excitedly. 

“Of course,” Eddie chuckles, “Great sex always needs great aftercare little one.” He plants a sloppy smack of a kiss to your forehead before going for his turn in the shower. 

Steve flops down next to you on his stomach as you roll onto your back, looking up at his damp face and hair. 

“You have fun?” he asks, even though he already knows the answer. 

“So much fun,” you confirm with a smile.

“I think I died and went to heaven when you and Eddie were sucking me off together,” he laughs and you giggle at his dramatics, he’s definitely been spending too much time with Eddie.  

After your laughter has died down he looks at you seriously, tone softening “hey, I’m glad you trusted us enough to do this.”

“Me too,” you reply, soft tone matching his own.  

“And I know eds is glad too,” he continues, you can tell there’s something deeper behind that statement but you’re too tired and blissed out right now to care. 

“I hope so,” is all you reply instead. 

Eddie comes back into the room in his own black pj pants and worn band shirt, letting you know the shower is all yours.

You grab some pjs out of your drawers before having the quickest shower of your life, scared that you’ll take too long and by the time you get out they’ll be gone. This whole evening some sick hallucination your brain made up. 

After you’re dried and dressed you practically run to the room, heart swelling when you see the two men tucked into your bed, facing each other as they whisper softly, Steve on the side closest to your door. They’ve turned off all the lights bar your bedside lamp and have cleaned up all the stray pieces of clothing, all now in a pile at the corner of your room next to their bags. 

At hearing you enter the room Steve rolls on to his back, arm outstretched to you. You take his hand and he helps you climb over him and into the middle of both of them. They mumble hey pretty girl and hey honey and you snuggle up between the two. 

Eddie pulls you on to his chest as Steve snakes an arm around your waist, cuddling up to your back. You’ve all shared a bed together many times before but this time feels different, more intimate. You slowly drift off into a peaceful sleep to the sounds of Eddie’s heartbeat and Steve’s steady breathing. 

Tag List: @andvys @pxrxcxa @wroteclassicaly @eddiemunsonfuxks @usedtobecooler @translatemunson @glorykaterina @bandofoxxking @littledemondani @hellfirebabes @eveatethefruit

[pagannatural]

2.07 The Usual Suspects

-Sam being interrogated about Dean is so so good because we get to see Sam being told that his brother is a scumbag criminal and the way he reacts by rolling his eyes like he’s heard this before. It’s almost like seeing a teenage version of Sam. The detective keeps telling him to throw Dean under the bus and the whole time he’s just giving attitude and plotting how to help Dean and work the case. He keeps looking out the window. Some of his reactions are raw and some are fake and some are both and his mind is running through his options assessing what to do and how to get out of this.

When confronted with the cliff notes on his and Dean’s life, Sam runs the gamut of emotion from sad and grief-stricken about Jessica to defending Dean and acting all scandalized to being a smartass, to whatever the hell this is when she says “it’s not your fault he’s your brother, we can’t pick our family”

The double meaning here. The not meeting her eyes, the tension on his face, the disdain. It’s giving Bitch don’t I fucking know it, yet I would choose him a thousand times and every time I would be a little bit miserable. “It’s not your fault he’s your brother, we can’t pick our [soul mates]” is probably what God tells him in his most comforting dreams.

-So the detective’s theory is what? That after a shared sordid serial killer childhood Sam escaped the life and then Dean murdered Sam’s girlfriend in a house fire to lure him back in and make him his crime wife?

Because I mean yeah I would read that AU. That fits their vibe pretty nicely.

-She says “Dean’s a bad guy….his life is over, yours doesn’t have to be” and Sam looks at her like that’s the dumbest thing he has ever heard.

She doesn’t know that they become sickly and depressed when they’re apart like a pair of bonded sewer kittens.

When she tells him he can get on with his life and Dean’s as good as gone you can almost see him tuning her out and calculating how to lie about this.

-Sam starts on his cover story, using his trademark Sweet-Innocent face. He relies on his charms and on appearing helpless to manipulate people into doing what he wants. He would’ve learned to do this when he was a child as a survival skill, and I can just imagine how well this complemented Dean’s tough but earnest seduction thing. Acting sweet and helpless when you’re actually savvy and resourceful is a trope commonly used in female characters. These traits (innocence, sweetness, feigned helplessness) are associated with women gaining/utilizing agency in the ways available to them.

Because narratively, Sam is the girl. It’s stuff like this, plus the way he’s depicted as Dean’s tempting damsel in distress in other episodes. It increases the sexual tension between Sam and Dean when they rely on these archetypes because we know what it means when two leads are masculine and feminine, when they need each other and the plot hinges on their conflict. It means they’re the love interests.

-Dean makes a joke about Sam being Scully, and Sam’s like I’m not Scully you’re Scully, and Dean says “No I’m Mulder. You’re a red headed woman.” Really spelling it out.

Dean is smirking and making prolonged eye contact and just— he’s flirting. There’s a Bruce Springsteen song titled “Red Headed Woman” about how “it takes a red headed woman to get a dirty job done.” I have no idea if this is what Dean’s referencing or if it’s just a Scully reference but it’s a very specific thing to say and Sam is brunette. The song is very suggestive.

-Dean HATES waiting around while Sam works. Within seconds he becomes insufferable and has to leave to go do something, flirting with Sam again on his way out.

-“Sam’s story matches Dean’s to the last detail” they didn’t even SEE each other before talking to police! They’re just so connected that they tell the same exact story. Then they both work on the case in their separate interrogation rooms using different methods and arrive at the same conclusion at the same time. They also make the same joke about their public defender.

-I keep seeing this post about who knew Dean better, Sam or Castiel, and I just want to point out that these two are so in sync they can essentially read each others minds.

-We have an outsider perspective on their lives and relationship a few times this episode, and the detectives comment more than once on how weirdly connected the brothers are. Like, Dean communicates to Sam via movie reference to escape and Sam is already all over that, he’s been assessing how to climb out the window since his first scene.

-Dean tells the detective to go to Sam so that Sam can save her life, giving her their info on “how we find each other when we’re separated.” That’s very practical. It’s also true that when they aren’t together they are obsessed with finding each other and making sure they know exactly where the other is at all times. They must have felt so untethered when Sam was at Stanford. I’m imagining Sam going on a little trip over spring break and feeling like he’s forgetting something really important and starting to panic only to realize it’s just that Dean won’t know where he is.

[starsstuddedsky]

Tangled in Love

vernon x reader

summary: there's nothing in the world that vernon loves more than cats. at least, that's what you think

genre: fluff, tiny bit of angst, non-idol!au, uni au, f2L, idiots to lovers, fake dating if you squint, technically university au

warnings: none!

wc: 3.8k

a/n: started this a WHILE ago and finished it like a month ago but i wanted to let it sit lol,,, may or may not have been the other option for the poll i put out and then i may or may not have forgotten to post.... anyways i am working for literally the whole summer until school starts again so i can't promise i'll be writing a whole bunch </3 so basically: enjoy bc idk when anything else will come lol (not going on official hiatus though!! just like... limbo) pls pls feel free to drop in anytime and chat!! also requests are open but again,, i'll write when i write lol

tldr: adulting sucks, i love you all, none of this has to do with the actual story lol

Vernon’s car sits in your driveway. The sight of his little red sedan evokes a strong sense of familiarity, almost as if it’s yours. It’s survived high school and his first three years of college, up till now, though the engine sometimes shakes the car a little too much and the air conditioning chooses to work less often than you would prefer. Still, the one time Vernon mentioned getting a new car, you nearly cried, so you don’t let yourself complain too much. 

He waits for you, keys in hand, as you tug on your shoes and sprint out the door with a shout of goodbye to your parents. Your shoes nearly slip off because you didn’t put them on all the way and they’re still untied when you make it to the front seat, slamming the door shut behind you and pulling on your seatbelt. 

“You didn’t have to rush,” Vernon says, barely sparing a glance at you. You do a supreme job pretending it doesn’t bother you. 

“Yeah, but my dad is watching hockey,” you say. Though it’s been years since Vernon has been to your house for a “play date,” you know the memory of your father yelling at the television as if the players can hear him isn’t one that Vernon (or anyone for that matter) can forget easily. 

“You know if you move out, you don’t have to hear them,” he says, finally glancing at you before turning his head to watch the road as he backs down the driveway. 

“If I move out, I also have to pay my bills on my own,” you say. 

“You have three job offers and you haven’t even graduated yet,” Vernon says. “Of all our friends, you are the most financially stable, so don’t you dare try that argument on me.” This debate has been going on ever since Vernon announced he was moving out; two years in the dorms on campus proved more than enough for him. 

You don’t understand why he’s so insistent about you moving out. Sure you complain about your parents occasionally but not enough to really matter, and he knows how grateful you are that they’ve let you stay in your childhood room and rarely let you pay for anything. 

So why? You set your eyes on him, with his annoyingly perfect features that you’ve known most of your life. He studies the road, indifferent to your glare and undistracted. 

That’s the Vernon you know: focused on the moment, and never noticing you. You know how pitiful you sound, pining for someone for so long who has never once spared you a second look. Still, before everything else, he’s your friend, your best friend. You won’t ruin that just because you caught feelings. 

“Why are we going an hour away again?” You ask, resting your back against the cushioned seats and turning your head to the window to watch the scenery pass by. It’s easier to avoid thinking about those feelings when you aren’t staring at him. 

“Because the people running the rescue needed a volunteer to pick up the kittens.” 

“And why am I here?” 

“So I don’t get kidnapped or murdered,” Vernon says nonchalantly. 

“How am I going to prevent you from getting kidnapped or murdered?” 

“Strength in numbers?” He takes his eyes off the road for half a second to flash a smile at you. 

You rolled your eyes, plugging your phone into the aux. “You should have asked Jihoon. Between his gym obsession and unbridled rage, the nonexistent potential kidnappers-murderers would never stand a chance.” 

“And he has good taste in music. Bump,” he says, bracing his arm in front of you as he hit a particularly large pothole. He drops his arm as soon as the car stops shaking and you ignore the urge to catch his hand in yours. 

“He does not, and you better not be implying I have bad taste!” You dig through your playlists, trying to find the Vernon-approved one. 

“I was implying but now I’ll outright say it.” 

“His playlist is just Bruno Mars and Harry Styles and one random Ariana Grande song.” You hold up the shared playlist for good measure. Vernon ignores you, refusing to take his eyes off the road. 

“Okay, not good taste, but better than yours.” 

“What is wrong with my taste in music?” 

“No comment.” 

“How have we been friends this long?” You ask. You can’t quite say it with a straight face; the idea of not having Vernon in your life is an absurdity you can’t imagine. 

“By the way, you need to give directions,” Vernon says. “I sent you the address last week.” 

You shake your head but dig through the messages to find the address, putting Jihoon’s playlist on to prove your point. Vernon pretends not to care, singing along to “Leave the Door Open,” as if he didn’t make fun of Jihoon a week ago because he played the song on repeat during his four hour shift at the cafe. 

When you’re being honest with yourself, you know you want more than riding in Vernon’s front seat and making pointless jokes. More than once, you’ve imagined what it’s like to go home with him and stay there, to wake up in his bed because you share it with him, instead of the times you drank too much and he slept on the couch (because of course Vernon is the type of person to give up his bed for his friend). Moments like that make it harder to remember that he doesn’t feel the same way. 

You were doing a great job of paying attention until the second half hour, when you got stuck in standstill traffic. In your mind, only a few minutes pass, but suddenly Vernon shakes your shoulder and your heart shoots bolts of adrenaline into your veins to wake you up. 

“We’re here,” he says softly. He holds your phone with the directions still open. The engine shakes the car; he must have literally just stopped. It takes a couple moments to remember that he drove you into the middle of nowhere to pick up some kittens to foster them (another bullet point in the ever growing list of why you love Vernon: he does absolutely insane things for what he loves. What would it be like to be the person he loves?). He stares at you for a moment and for some godforsaken reason, you think he’s going to kiss you. 

He points to the corner of your lips. “You drooled.” He laughs at your groan, turning in his seat and cutting the engine, tossing your phone into your lap. 

The door creaks when you pull on the handle but it swings open. You are extra careful when you swing it shut, being as gentle as possible. Vernon raises his eyebrows but doesn’t comment on it. You stretch until your back finally pops, jogging to catch up with Vernon who didn’t wait for you, striding up the smooth driveway. 

Warm pastel yellow greets you, a cute door that matches the array of flowers on the front porch perfectly. Vernon sneezes and presses the doorbell, stepping back to wait, shoulder pressing against yours. Even though his jean jacket and your cotton t-shirt separate you from really touching him, you feel a different sort of warm, a tingly feeling that spreads from your insides and makes you feel giddy. 

After a couple minutes, the door opens, revealing a smiling woman and a child that can’t be more than five clinging to her leg. “You must be the fosters! Sorry, it’s a little hectic today, but come on in!” She ushers you in, picking up the child. 

Some psychopath. You glance at Vernon but he turns his back on you, following the woman down the hall to a closed door. Whatever, it’s not like he needs to see you to know the jokes you make. 

“We’ve been keeping them away from the rest of the house since it gets so chaotic,” she says. “I’d love to keep them but we’ve got two toddlers and a hyperactive dog.” She sounds genuinely regretful, which you understand as soon as you step over the baby gate and into the room. It looks like it was a spare bedroom (you can’t help but think it’s for the children when they get too big to share a room), but the bed has been stripped and there isn’t any other furniture. In the middle of the room, in a nest of blankets, a grown cat sits and licks tiny balls of fur that mewl softly in protest. The black cat pauses in her grooming, studying you and Vernon while the woman and her child watch from the door. 

“Do you want to tell the lovely couple what we named them?” She asks the child. 

You freeze. Did she just call you a couple? “We’re not–” Vernon stops you with a hand on your arm, sitting cross legged on the ground and facing the woman and her child. 

“The momma is Pinky,” the child mumbles, barely audible. “‘Cause she has really pink feet.” 

You smile at her, though you’re still reeling from Vernon’s hand, which slips from your arm to interlace his fingers with yours. “Did you name her?” 

The child grins. “Yeah! But my brother named the babies.” She pouts. 

“I think Pinky is a great name,” you say. Vernon grunts in agreement. Pinky stands and wanders slowly toward Vernon’s hand (the one not holding yours), which he holds outstretched while looking away. Looking at you. You get to see the exact moment Pinky brushes her head against his fingers, watch the corners of his mouth creep up in satisfaction, watch his eyes slip away from yours as he strokes her head. She lets off a low rumble as she purrs, brushing her whole body against his foot before leaving him to study you. 

You’ve never thought of yourself as a cat-person or a dog-person (you love them all the same), but a life-time as Vernon’s best friend (and an abundance of cat cafes) have trained you in how to get cat’s to befriend you. You let Pinky move however she wants, hyper aware of Vernon’s hand squeezing yours once before letting go. 

He shifts to look at the kittens, earning a wary glance from Pinky. She watches him for a moment before turning back to you, brushing against your hand and eventually turning her back on you, purring like the engine of Vernon’s car the entire time. 

“What’s this one called?” Vernon asks, pointing to the orange colored kitten. 

“That’s Muffin, Momma named her,” the child explains. She stands at the baby gate alone, her mother off somewhere getting all of their supplies so that you and Vernon can leave with them. Her little fingers curl around the metal. “The black one is Fried and the white one is Egg. That’s what my brother named them.” 

Vernon nods, smiling over the tiny kittens. Pinky finally decides she doesn’t want him quite so close, leaving your side to place herself between him and the kittens. He laughs, sliding back to sit next to you. 

“There’s no way you don’t end up adopting at least one of them,” you whisper. 

“I have self-control.” 

“Wanna bet?” 

Vernon turns to look at you except he’s much too close, nose just barely brushing against yours. It takes all of your willpower not to glance at his lips, infinitely harder when you realize you can feel his breath on your lips. Would he kiss you back? You push that fantasy away immediately: it’s Vernon. He’d push you away and call you weird, or do that judgy-eyebrow-wiggle-thing that he reserves only for special occasions (most recently used when Soonyoung was talking about a hookup gone wrong). You’ve always been the one he looks at when someone does something weird; what would he do if it was you being weird? Your stomach turns, the butterflies eating each other alive. You can’t do that to him, no matter how perfect his lips are. 

You jump at the sound of someone clearing their throat. You turn back to the door to see the woman holding a cat carrier doing her best not to smile. 

“Not trying to rush you two, but the sooner they settle into a nice loving home, the better,” she says, winking at ‘loving.’ You really should correct her. Actually, Vernon should correct her. He always does, the very few times that you have been mistaken as a couple. He never hesitates, so why isn’t he doing it now? Does he really not realize what she’s implying? 

He stands up, turning to face you and extending his hands to pull you up. You roll your eyes but take them anyway, ignoring the way your heart sinks when he lets go this time. He takes the carrier and gently picks up the kittens, blankets and all, and tucks them inside. Pinky follows immediately after, as if she couldn’t bear to be away from her children for more than a second. 

“I have a box ready by the door with their food, and toys, and other supplies, and I know you said you have a litter box and you’re ready, but I just wanted to make sure that they settle in nice, and I added a blanket in case they’re homesick, and–” She pauses, peering at the dark holes of the carrier as if she can see the little kittens inside. She takes a deep breath, picking up her child again, stepping to the side so that you and Vernon can leave the room. “I know you two will take good care of them, I do, I just– I’m going to miss them.” 

“Me too,” her child says, clinging to her mother’s neck. 

The woman smiles. “But we said our goodbyes already, and they’re going to be so happy with these two, right?” 

“Of course,” you say when Vernon doesn’t answer. “He’s been obsessed with cats since he was smaller than you!” You wink at the child, who giggles. 

You pick up the box at the door, grunting at the heaviness. 

“We can switch,” Vernon says softly but you shake your head. 

“It’s just to the car, it’s fine.” Vernon looks like he’s going to argue more, but finally he steps onto the front porch, moving as gently as possible, trying to disturb the precious cargo as little as possible. 

“Thank you so much again,” the woman says, setting her child down. “We really do wish we could keep them, but it makes me happy knowing that someone capable will be taking care of them, especially an adorable couple like the two of you. Do keep me updated on their adoptions.” 

You force a smile and choke out a “thank you,” following Vernon mindlessly down the driveway after she closes the door.

Adorable couple, were her exact words and Vernon said nothing. Why? The word hangs on your tongue, threatening to spill out if you so much as open your mouth. You watch as Vernon sets the carrier in the backseat, then takes the box out of your arms and places it on the floor. You force yourself to move to the passenger side when he raises his eyebrows at you, but once you’re sitting down and the seatbelt is across your chest, you’re frozen again. 

Vernon takes your phone when you don’t move, putting in your passcode (the sum of his birthday and yours). He pulls up his own playlist, a collection of hyperpop and indie artists that you normally enjoy listening to. Today it takes all your concentration not to burst. 

You almost make it the whole drive, all the way to his block, the apartment building he’s spent the last year and a half in that’s become far too familiar to you. How much time have you wasted away on the floor of his living room, drinking, doing classwork, listening to him talk about the future, rambling to him about the midnight thoughts that threaten your heart? He knows everything about you, except what you need him to know the most. 

When the question begins to burn in your heart, you can’t hold it anymore. Vernon pulls into his parking spot and it falls from your lips before you realize it. “Why?” 

He has the audacity to feign ignorance, blinking at you before finally asking, “Why what?” 

“Why did you let her think we are a couple?” 

One of the kittens mewls in the silence, a soft cry for help, sounding pitifully like your own heart. 

Vernon stares ahead of him at the concrete wall, the fading red number 19 that designates this spot as his. Just say something, your heart begs him. Stop giving me hope where there is none. His shoulders rise in the tiniest shrug. “I guess I was just curious.” 

“Of what?” 

He swallows, Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. He glances at you, just once. “What it would be like.” He sighs. “This really isn’t the time for this conversation.” 

Your grip on the door handle is so tight your knuckles are white. So desperately, you want to believe he’s trying to say what you think he’s saying but you refuse to give yourself hope unless it’s real. “What conversation?” 

“Okay, for the record, I did think this through,” he says, “a lot. Like, for months. This isn’t coming out of nowhere, I really did try to figure out if it’s just a passing thing because the last thing I want is for things between us to be weird because you’re my best friend and I tried to imagine my life without you and that was worse than anything, so I decided I wouldn’t ruin anything except I can’t stop thinking about–”

“Vernon.” 

He pauses, turning to face you again and this time he doesn’t look away. You’ve never felt self-conscious under his gaze, not when he’s seen every awkward stage of your life and stuck with you anyways. His eyes have always been familiar to you, an oasis of comfort that you always find yourself drifting toward. But the longer he stares at you, the more you want to run away, hide from the heartbreak you see in his eyes. 

“I think I like you,” he says. “No. I do. Like, as in more than a friend. God, none of these words are working.” 

You stare at him. He’s saying everything you want him to say. He’s saying he likes you. Why can’t you move? 

Vernon runs a hand through his hair, and sighs. “Like I said, I don’t want to ruin things between us, you're still my best friend first. But I’m also sure about how I feel and I don’t want to keep it from you any longer. I can’t stay in this limbo of holding onto something that doesn’t exist, so, I’m really sorry.” 

“Sorry?” You repeat, frowning. “Why are you sorry?” 

“Because… I like you. And that ruins… this.” He gestures between you and him and that’s when you finally realize that he doesn’t know. 

“You dumbass,” you say, “I like you, too.” 

Vernon frowns, mouth hanging open a little, and you have to wonder if you looked this goofy when he was talking. Your heart swells when you realize you’re the reason for it. “You do?” 

“Yes,” you say, grabbing his hand. Your cheeks ache a little, and you realize that you’re smiling wider than you ever have before. You’ve never been this happy, not when you graduated high school, not when you and Vernon found out you got into the same college, not when you got a perfect score on that notoriously impossible chemistry final. “Vernon, I am an idiot that always thought you didn’t feel the way I did so I did everything I could to hide it. But I like you, I really, really do, and I’m sorry I never let it show.” There’s another word for how you feel, but you aren’t quite brave enough to use it yet, even if it’s what you really mean to say. 

Vernon leans closer, pressing his forehead against yours. “We really are dumb, huh?” 

“I can already hear Jihoon’s gloating.”

“He’s been nagging you too?” Vernon groans softly but the smile never leaves his lips. “He’s going to be insufferable.” 

You’ve grown used to silences with Vernon. Sometimes they are painful, like when he tells a joke and only you laugh. Usually they’re peaceful, comfortable silences that can only exist between two people that have nothing left to say but stay together anyways. But this silence is heavy, a weight on your shoulders pushing you to do something, move closer. You’ve known him your whole life but this is foreign territory. 

His breath kisses your lips again and this time you have the bravery to lean forward, just a little. His lips are soft, bottom lip chapped a little more than the top but it is warm and it feels like a first and thousandth at the same time, like unlocking the door to a house you know you’ll spend the rest of your life in. Your mind floats farther and farther away, in some place of impossible happiness that can’t quite believe that this is real. 

A soft cry from somewhere to your left brings you back to earth. You pull away at the same time he does, glancing at the backseat. Right. The kittens. You glance at Vernon, whose mouth is still a little open, eyes wide and flustered. It makes you want to kiss him all over again but you settle for laughing. 

“I guess we should go inside,” he says, leaning away from you though he doesn’t turn his back yet. 

“We should get them settled,” you say, glancing at the carrier again. 

Vernon nods, opening his door and grabbing the heavy box, pausing by the entrance to the building to wait for you to grab the carrier. Silence falls again as you ride the elevator up but you’re more than familiar with it. 

It doesn’t take long to settle Pinky and the kittens, not when Vernon already had a room set up for them. He figures there’s been enough stress for the day and they should get some peace and space to relax, so you stretch out on the couch, taking your usual corner. Vernon sits next to you, the inch of space separating you feeling like a mile. 

Vernon glances at you, chewing on his lip before asking, “You’ll stay?” 

“Always.” 

The grin that splits his face has you swooning all over again, so when he throws an arm over your shoulder, leaning into your side, your brain fully stops functioning. You have to will thoughts into existence, which is silly because it’s Vernon and he’s done this a million times. But when you tuck your head onto his shoulder and he kisses the top of this head, you know everything is different. And exactly how you want it. 

“You’re definitely going to adopt Fried,” you say. 

His laughter bounces you. “No way.” 

“It’s Fried or Muffin. You can’t handle their cuteness, I saw you baby talking at them.” 

“I'll stay strong.” 

“What if I want a kitten?” 

Vernon doesn’t hesitate. “Egg is pretty cute.” 

“Sucker.” 

“Only for you.” 

thank you for reading <3

[cecilysass]

The Penultimate Partner Episode: Analyzing the Second-to-Last Episodes of Seasons 3-7

So I was thinking about the show’s tendency to do an episode that is explicitly about the Partnership—about the deep abiding bonds between Mulder and Scully—right before the season finale.

This doesn’t seem to happen in season 1 and 2 (the penultimate episodes are Roland and Our Town, respectively, which don’t seem to play the same role). And something different is happening in season 8 and 9, so I don't think they fit as well.

But during the show’s peak popularity, seasons 3-7, the second-to-last episode seems to be setting up baseline emotional stakes for whatever plotline is about to hit. These episodes are giving us the state of the partnership, reminding us how devoted they are to one another. They also tend to have to do with one or both partners having a distorted perception on reality that requires the other partner's intervention in some way. I’m calling them the Penultimate Partner episodes.

So can we look at the themes of each of these Partnership episodes and see development over time? I think yes. It’s gonna be long. I rewatched them all, so buckle up.

Season 3: Wetwired - partnership as trust Season 4: Demons - partnership as loyalty Season 5: Folie a Deux - partnership as shared madness Season 6: Field Trip - partnership as touchstones Season 7: Je Souhaite - partnership as happiness

Season 3: Wetwired  (right before Talitha Cumi)

This episode, like several in the Penultimate Partner episode category, involves a X-file that distorts perception. Because Scully can’t trust her own senses due to the mind control, she also can’t trust Mulder, calling into question the key tenet of their partnership. (And by season three, they have definitely established trust as the bedrock.)

Her gradual mistrust of Mulder in this episode is tense and painful; you can see on her face how much she argues with herself about it even as her mind is tricking her. Others who fall victim to this mind control phenomenon wind up murdering their romantic partner, but in the end of the episode, when they’re discussing what happened in the hospital, they both seem pretty unsurprised that Scully’s paranoia focused on Mulder. They both know, late season three, how crucial trust is between them. They understand that it’s Scully’s worst fear that Mulder would betray her. It’s not even news to them.

What Mulder’s worst fear might be is also hinted at, although it’s unsaid. He’s furious that her life is put at risk by the mysterious informant. When Mulder believes Scully may be dead and he’s going to identify her body, his reaction is chilling. He seems to completely shut down emotionally, not even showing any reaction to the Gunmen. Tellingly, when he is offered a choice between getting answers and going to ID Scully’s body, he doesn’t hesitate—he chooses Scully. (Sometimes people claim Mulder doesn’t show this kind of commitment to her until much later, even until Home Again in season 10, so it’s interesting to see it so unequivocal here.)   

I want to say that Scully’s anxiety about trusting Mulder in this episode is foreshadowing aspects of the cancer arc in the next season, but I don’t think that’s really what’s happening. This episode seems more like an entirely season 3 cap to the Anasazi / Blessing Way / Paperclip storyline, especially the murder of Melissa. Scully’s paranoia calls back Mulder’s in Anasazi, and Scully explicitly blames Mulder for her sister’s murder when she’s drawn a gun on him. Even just the fact that we're there with Maggie, who has a picture of Melissa displayed prominently, tells me that loss is supposed to be on both partners' minds. (Actually, the interaction between Mulder, Scully and Maggie is pretty amazing in this scene; they’re an emotionally complex trio who seem to be communicating on some other level. I love how when Mulder and Maggie are talking to freaked-out Scully they almost sound strangely unreal, almost like they really are speaking falsely. It allows us to imagine the scene as it looks from Scully’s point-of-view, as a massive betrayal.)

Wetwired is, technically, a mytharc episode, as this whole mind control thing seems to tie back into X and the Syndicate. Personally I think the episode’s ending, emphasizing the mytharc-related plot and X’s involvement and whatever tf was happening there, was a little misguided. For my tastes they would have done better to play up the more personal, character-based themes a little more. But I also think this episode was the first real Penultimate Partner episode, and it was setting some patterns that were going to be expanded on.

Season 4: Demons (before Gethsemane)

From the cold open, we can already tell this is already a more personal episode than Wetwired. Mulder is the one having perception problems now; he wakes from a disturbing dream, covered in blood, muddled memory. This is also technically a mytharc episode, but much more concerned with direct impact on character than Wetwired was. 

Scully instantly rushes to Mulder’s aid—walks right into his shower, for heaven’s sake—and absolutely never wavers in loyalty to him, even when he looks real, real guilty and a "rational" person would be suspicious. She is in fierce, must-protect-Mulder mode throughout this entire episode, from the moment she shows up palpating his head with her hands to her back-off behavior with the cops to her badass cold “I know what you do” comment to Dr. Goldstein. She also helps Mulder see through his distorted perception, telling him "this is not the way to the truth" as he holds a gun on her.

In this Penultimate Partner episode, we see something more than simple trust going on, although there’s trust, too. Maybe the word is loyalty or devotion. We see Mulder coming apart and Scully completely and utterly devoted to him. It’s actually very clear foreshadowing for the following week’s episode, Gethsemane. Mulder isn’t stable, and he needs Scully to keep him from “los[ing] his course,” as she says in Demons’ end narration. Gethsemane will follow up on the Mulder losing-his-course idea, and also will explore the idea that Scully’s bottomless support of Mulder isn’t always good for her. (This idea is voiced especially by Bill.) 

There are some ways in which this episode is a neat little bookend to Wetwired. In Wetwired, Scully flees to her mother’s house, desperate and paranoid; in Demons, Mulder, similarly unhinged, seeks out his mother at her house. In Wetwired, Scully sees things that aren’t there, and in Demons, it’s definitely implied that Mulder may be seeing things in his past that weren’t actually there. In Wetwired, Scully pulls a gun on Mulder, and in Demons, Mulder pulls one on Scully. 

I adore this episode, even though it’s definitely vulnerable to the critique that Mulder acts like a self-obsessed loon and Scully a hopeless enabler lol. Especially because it comes before the Gethsemane / Redux three parter, I wish the episode would have explicitly connected his behavior to the cancer arc, as I feel like that would have made his wild choices seem more understandable. If he felt like he needed to find answers faster because he knew Scully’s time was running out and he saw it all tied together with her fate, then we would get why he was acting so rashly. It would also tie more nicely into Gethsemane, which misleads the audience into thinking Mulder has killed himself, in part, because he believes she’s been given cancer to make him believe. But again, I love this episode. Scully showing up and putting that blanket around Mulder when he’s shaking. Her hugging him at the end when he’s desolate on the floor. This shows a partnership that’s been through Paper Hearts and Memento Mori—that’s moved beyond trust alone.

Season 5: Folie a Deux (before The End)

This is another episode about perception—about one partner seeing things the other can’t. Unlike in Wetwired or Demons, however, in this episode the altered perception actually represents the real truth, something everyone else fails to understand. The episode plays around with the tropes of earlier episodes like Wetwired, at first encouraging us to think that it's a delusion that Pincus is a monster, but then convincing us, through Mulder’s eyes, that the delusion is actually reality.  

As other people have observed, this episode ends up being a nice little metaphor for the whole show: Mulder knowing what no one else does, being ostracized and considered insane, asking Scully to find evidence to corroborate him and ultimately convincing her to believe him and see what he sees. Their partnership is, quite precisely, a madness shared by two. 

It’s a monster of the week, not a mytharc, so there’s no distraction of elaborate mytharc plot, just characters and monster. And this is a Vince Gilligan operation, so our focus is definitely on character. From the first scene with Mulder and Scully, we sense that we’re going to be talking about the partnership. Skinner gives them an assignment in Chicago that Mulder doesn’t think is worth it, and he complains in a particularly self-centered way to Scully, which she observes (“You��re saying I a lot.”) The episode is going to be very explicit that while Mulder might be monster boy, they are in this unhinged partnership situation together. Another important moment comes later, when Scully is calling the perp crazy for thinking he saw a monster, and Mulder says, “Well, I saw it, too.” Scully’s careful about-face after that, her delicate avoidance of implying she thinks Mulder is actually crazy, is part of the dance they’re doing at this late season five stage of their partnership. She doesn’t quite believe him, but she doesn’t knee-jerk not believe him either. 

And the foreshadowing of what’s to come in this one, whoo boy. Most obviously, we must acknowledge that 1013 knew exactly what they were doing when Mulder tells Scully “you’re my one in five billion.” A mere seven days from now, a mysterious beautiful ex who believes his theories is going to show up to immediately cast doubt on that claim. And this episode is also toying with the question of whether Scully actually does always back Mulder up when it’s important, when she has to accept she saw something illogical. At the end, does she tell Skinner she actually saw a giant bug in Mulder’s hospital room? We don’t know, but I think it’s implied she doesn’t. That’s all presaging what will happen in The Beginning coming off of Fight the Future. It’s Scully’s little way of resisting the madness, but it also hurts Mulder and damages the partnership, which will be a problem in season six. 

Season 6: Field Trip (before Biogenesis)

Full disclosure: this is my favorite episode. So I’m going to make some big claims about it. This is the ultimate Penultimate Partner episode—the one that best knits together what it wants to say about their partnership and what it wants to establish for the finale. It's a monster-of-the-week episode (another Vince Gilligan ep, with John Shiban) but refers to the mytharc often. It’s also one of the best episodes about their partnership, period. 

This is yet another episode about distorted perception. This time, however, under the influence of a giant mushroom, both partners are unable to perceive clearly, to determine what is real and what is a lie. And when they’re confused, they critically turn to one another to help them see what the truth is.

Coming off of season six, the partnership is rocky. Mulder is frustrated that after so many theories of his have borne out, he still can’t get the benefit of the doubt from Scully, something he explicitly says in the dialogue here. Scully has felt like she’s not been trusted or heard, like Mulder has turned to others (Diana Fowley, for example) rather than his partner.

This is an episode about how they absolutely need one another to be able to make sense of the world—that individually each of their points-of-view are not enough. In Mulder’s hallucination, Scully accepts his claims about alien life forms too completely, not applying enough skepticism, not pushing back against him. In Scully’s hallucination, a world without Mulder, everyone is unacceptably unquestioning of the status quo, refusing to dig deeper, lacking Mulder’s critical acumen and drive. Neither partner likes the feeling of being unopposed, and it makes both of them suspicious about the hallucination’s reality. They may think they want their own view to prevail, but they need one another to be a whole person.

The theme of what’s real and what’s not – and needing one another to discern the truth–is exactly what is picked up and developed further in the Biogenesis-Sixth Extinction-Amor Fati arc that follows this. Scully’s skepticism has to stretch to incorporate more of Mulder’s worldview to make sense of what she sees in the Ivory Coast, and of course, Mulder calls on Scully’s worldview to see through his misleading dream world in Amor Fati. In fact, you could argue Field Trip is really about the idea that Mulder and Scully are one another’s touchstones—the people they need to know what’s right and real. 

Incidentally, this episode also plays around with some of season 6’s other subtextual throughlines: Mulder and Scully’s anxieties about possibly entering a non-platonic relationship, their unease about what a normal, domestic life might even be for them. For the entire episode they’re directly compared and juxtaposed with the Schiffs, a young married couple who died on Brown Mountain. The Schiffs are a tall man and a redheaded woman. They even die hallucinating lying together on a hotel bed after she asked him to “hold her” (although I do seriously doubt 1013 was intentionally foreshadowing a full year ahead). The last shot is of Mulder reaching out to take Scully’s hand across the ambulance, suggesting a kind of partnership beyond just, you know, partnership. Which takes us to the next season.  

Season 7: Je Souhaite (before Requiem)

Truthfully, I don’t think this episode fits quite as well in the Penultimate Partner category. It doesn’t share some of the same traits as these other episodes—it’s not quite as notably about perception, for instance—and it’s not fundamentally about the partnership in the same way. But it does end up commenting on their partnership (even their relationship, really) as part of its theme, so I think we can include it—especially because its position right before Requiem ends up being important. 

Je Souhaite (btw, written and directed by Vince Gilligan) has a bit of an unsettled feeling to it because it was kind of treading water, waiting to see what happened with DD and the series. Nothing too monumental could happen with the partnership or the plot because it wasn’t clear to anyone what would happen next with the show: whether it would end or continue, whether DD would be involved or not.

So we have a story about Mulder and Scully making peace with not having a significant impact on the world—e.g. not bringing about world peace, not introducing invisible bodies to science. Instead, they are content to delightfully share a beer and comment that they have made one another “pretty happy” (as Scully says about Mulder). Through the jinni character, they seem to take the lesson that they can enjoy being with one another, accept the simple happiness that their relationship brings them. Rather than wish for success that comes too easily, they take joy in the little things with one another.

Comparing this episode to the Penultimate Partner episodes that come before, we can really see how Mulder and Scully’s dynamic has evolved by season seven. We have a Scully who is much more open to supernatural phenomena, for example, and whose skepticism seems more like a reflex or a defense mechanism now. Scully’s move towards belief is partially reflected in the plot of the episode: the X-file here really isn’t even science fiction. It is just straight up fantasy or magical realism. Aside from Scully's brief mention of a disease to explain what happened to the mouthless man in the cold open, no plausible scientific explanation for the jinni's long life or wishes is really even floated.

Scully is delighted by the discovery of the invisible body, and Mulder is visibly delighted by her delight. He’s also frustrated by her retreat into doubt when the body disappears, of course. But even the reversal into her old skepticism is half-hearted, as she soon after she's engaging in discussion with Mulder about what his final wish was. This is consistent with the overall blurring of the old hardline believer-skeptic dynamic we see in season 7. It’s also peeking ahead to Scully’s coming role as resident basement believer in season 8. 

The last scene, with the beers and Caddyshack, is meant to be a callback to djinni Jenn’s comment that she wishes she could “live my life moment by moment... enjoying it for what it is instead of... instead of worrying about what it isn't.” Mulder, we see, is taking a cue from her. (And good for him, as we almost never see these characters do this. Except on rare baseball-related occasions.)

However, this episode’s position right before Requiem—and right before the events of season 8—ends up giving this scene a real bittersweet bite. We know, after Requiem, that they were probably a romantic couple at this time. We know, after Requiem, that this time is going to be their last happy time together for a long while. Later in season 8, we learn that one lingering wish of Scully’s in season 7 is that she wanted to conceive a child with Mulder. And of course we know, after Requiem, that she gets her wish—but with a vicious catch, with a terrible side effect, much like what happens with the jinni’s wishes. 

So that’s my academic thesis on that. I know others have pointed out the existence of this type of episode before. What did I miss? Do you think I am wrong to leave out seasons 1, 2, 8, and 9? Why do we think these episodes focus so much on distorted perception? Interested to hear others’ thoughts (if they make it through this lol).

[eve-was-framed]

okay this is gonna be a bit of a long rant (with some SA and CSA mentions so pls don’t read if that will be too much for you rn) but I’ve been thinking a lot about the “male loneliness epidemic” lately and I have some Thoughts ™

we live in very isolating, depressing and scary times. we live in a hyper-individualistic capitalist hellscape that seems to punish people who need community support. and I truly believe that we as humans should try to help each other out in the ways that we are able to.

but I lose 100% of my empathy for lonely depressed men when they start using their own personal issues as an excuse to peddle ideologies that advocate for rape, pedophilia, child marriage, sexual slavery, and even murder of women and girls. I don’t fucking care how sad you are, if you advocate for other humans beings to be subjected to the cruelest treatment possible then you either need to get serious help or die (and not take anyone with you when you do).

you do not have a fucking paramount on suffering. you are not the only ones who experience loneliness. I know you think women get to just pick and choose whichever romantic partner/friends we want, but that is false, and also being seen as nothing but a sex object by men is so incredibly isolating too. that’s not real love and connection, that’s only being valued for what we can provide for men. so many people feel so alone and it genuinely is a big problem.

I was raised in an extremely misogynistic cult that preaches that grown men are not responsible for anything they do to little girls bc “they’re wired that way.” I had very bad things happen to me before I was even old enough to realize what it meant. and you know what the excuse always is? “well it happened to him when he was younger too so he can’t help that he does it to you.” I learned very early that male suffering is viewed as more important than the suffering they inflict on innocent people. and despite going through this, despite seeing nearly every woman in my life go through something similar, despite all of this, I still would never ever sympathize with any ideology that preaches rape, slavery, sex trafficking, pedophilia, white supremacy, etc. and that doesn’t make me some super hero, it makes me a mildly normal person.

so no, nobody “pushed” you into your evil ideologies, nobody made you do that. if true suffering at the hands of the opposite sex is really the root cause of inceldom then almost every single woman I know would be the most insane incel you’d ever meet in your entire life. but they’re not, even though many of them are lonely and long for true companionship, none of them feel so angry and entitled to it that they want to murder and rape men or little boys. not a single one. the root cause of inceldom is, and always has been, male entitlement. men who were raised to believe the world and every woman in it exists to serve them in some way, but then grew up and realized that actually nobody is owed sex and you don’t get to force women to marry you and have kids, because we are human beings who deserve to be happy too. and this makes them so mad that they start thinking it’s okay to do whatever they want to whoever they want, because after all, nobody on planet earth could ever suffer as much as incels do when a woman tells them no.

I’m fucking sick of it. stop saying “they pushed me to this” and start taking even an ounce of accountability for your deranged, entitled mindset.

[physalian]

Writing Tone in Fiction (Or, Pacing your Story, Part 2)

See this post all about pacing and as the two go hand-in-hand. If you read that, I may repeat myself a little here. Tone, and how abruptly you change it, how radically you change it, and how you break it whether on purpose or on accident says a lot about your experience as a writer, and how well you planned out your plot.

**Trigger warning for mentions of mature themes**

What is Tone?

“Tone” is the maturity of the work, signaling whether or not your characters have to censor themselves for young readers. It’s also restricted by the genre, whether this is a comedy and what kind – slapstick or gross-out humor – or a scary movie about ghosts, but not graphic body horror. It sets expectations about the amount and degree of romance readers can expect, if the scene will fade to black before anything happens or if you’re in for a raunchy sex scene, or somewhere in the middle. It also helps audiences gauge whether or not characters can die in this universe, and how graphically if they do beyond Disney’s tried and true “villain falling ambiguously from a tall height” deaths.

OSP recently did a piece on Tone Armor, a device similar to but less obvious than Plot Armor where the established tone means that, no matter how dire the circumstances, your hero won’t actually die, the world won’t actually end, and a happily ever after is on the horizon. Red also discussed what happens when you break your established tone with the shocking death or mistreatment of a character, but more on that later.

How to Decide Your Tone

Depending on your genre and intended audience, content for younger readers demand quite a bit of censorship (though can get away with many, many things worse than death). In the US at least, movies go through the MPAA rating system to determine what’s permitted by the rating given – how many swear words, whether you can show blood, topless women, graphic assault, graphic violence, if and how characters can be killed or how gummy and resistant to damage their bodies are.

If you’re writing for children, you both have less freedom to write violent carnage, and more freedom to get really creative within the limits of your tone box. I can expect the kid protagonists of my fantasy adventure to murder countless monsters that dissolve into gold dust, not bloody carcasses. I can expect the villain to perhaps die from a stab wound, but probably not get decapitated, disemboweled, or drawn and quartered, at least, not ‘on screen’.

If you’re writing for adults, adults do still expect a warning for how graphic anything can be, whether that’s sex scenes, fight scenes, murders, assaults, bloody battles, garish injuries, dead pets, dead children, etc.

Unless you’re already planning to break your tone, you need to know fairly early on whereabouts you want to set those expectations. If none of the characters even allude to sex and you write in a graphic assault, your audience is going to be pissed, and horrified. If none of your characters even allude to sex, and you hint that one was assaulted off-screen, you will still upset your audience if you don’t give them time to prepare for the possibility.

You can soften the violence and graphic content you’ve previously established and few might complain about it not being gritty enough, but going the other direction puts you in a very precarious position. Choosing more mature themes will inevitably alienate younger readers, those with triggers, and those that just want to have a lighthearted good time. The trade off? You’ll invite readers with a work that’s exactly what they’re looking for.

Establishing a Tone

I’m writing this post today because I finally sat down to watch Game of Thrones. One can’t avoid spoilers for a series as massive as that, so I was prepared for the graphic violence, all the gratuitous sex, the infamous Red Wedding, murdered kids, horribly bloody battles, and the like. GoT, the TV adaptation at least as I can’t speak to the books, establishes exactly what to expect in the very first scene: Three people happen upon the site of a graphic mass murder, limbs and body parts strewn everywhere, kids among them, who come back to life as ice zombies to kill them.

That episode continues with a beheading, incest, more incest, attempted child murder via defenestration, a brother selling his little sister into marriage, rampant nudity, and… I’m sure I missed something.

**Spoiler Alert for Season 4**

What I was not at all prepared for was the graphic death of Oberyn Martell (Pedro Pascal). It’s quick, it’s violent, it’s graphic and gruesome and incredibly well-acted… it was also far more horrifying than the Red Wedding, at least to me. Murder is murder but the way this character went out almost had me quit watching right then and there. Google at your leisure.

It wasn’t necessarily outside the realm of possibility, but most everyone else died via stabbing, arrows, beheading, burning, falling, eaten by wolves, crushed, etc. This was deeply unsettling, particularly because it’s live action, not a cartoon like Invincible.

It did its job, and it’s the only moment to feature in nightmares and make me lose my appetite, so… well done? In the following Previouslies (correct me on the actual word) they don’t even show it, cutting around the actual moment because it’s just that horrible.

This was four seasons into an eight season show and nothing like it had happened before. In a tone already as dark and explicit as TV can get, poor Oberyn pushed it over the edge entirely. It broke the established tone.

Amazon’s The Boys treads the same very thin line, only these people have superpowers for a whole new level of deeply disturbed body horror.

So, when you’re establishing a tone in the realm of “less graphic than Game of Thrones but still terrible,” you can go one of two ways: Horrify your audience straight out of the gate, or slowly creep up to it with allusions and hints until they’re fully prepared for it when it hits.

If your characters have free reign of every swear in the dictionary, start with the “f*cks” and “sh*ts” as quickly as you can as part of their vocabulary, whether you intend to use the words sparingly or after every other word in their dialogue.

If you’re writing a multi-series work that intends to ramp up the rating as it goes, you don’t have to cold open with a murder, but establishing that characters do at least die in this world is a start. Establish that assault happens in the background, that killing happens, or animal cruelty. Your readers with triggers will thank you for it and read something else.

Unless you intend to shatter the tone and shock your audience with it later.

Breaking Tone via Killing Characters

The most effective tonal breakage I can think of that wasn’t even graphic, just dark and incredibly well done: Disney’s animated Mulan. The movie had been your standard Disney musical complete with grand animation for its sing-along song. Soldiers singing, dancing, laughing as they march off to war, all for a girl worth fighting—

The singing stops. The score stops. Their smiles drop. Cut to the scene before them that has murdered this Disney musical in cold blood and it’s a decimated battlefield, the snow-covered and burned bodies of their far better trained and more competent fellow soldiers, and the love interest’s father.

Mulan only briefly reprises one track in the climax, but otherwise, this happy-go-lucky sing-along has rudely and horrifyingly become a war movie. It’s still Disney, so it doesn’t get violent or graphic, but they shattered the tone in glorious fashion.

Breaking tone happens all the time, for minor events and major character deaths. It doesn’t become an issue of “you just alienated your audience” unless the tonal breakage is the aforementioned sudden graphic assault or other sensitive triggers.

Major character deaths are a whole separate monster to tackle and I’d like to, but for today’s purposes I’m talking about killing major characters when the possibility of any of our heroes dying was never established.

For anyone who never read Lord of the Rings and didn’t know the curse of anyone played by Sean Bean, losing Gandalf to another ambiguous high fall was one thing, but Boromir straight up dies in battle. Sure the story is surrounded by death and darkness but you expect heroes in a world like this to have some pretty hefty plot armor – and Boromir had so much room left to grow. In the grand scheme of the story, though, Boromir’s death was as far from shock value fodder as possible.

Sirius Black is another heartbreaking loss, but not entirely outside the realm of possibility – killing off Ron or Hermione would have been. Any mentor figure is automatically doomed with rare exception, especially ones in fatherly roles.

Bianca di Angelo is a different matter. She’s not the first death mentioned in Percy Jackson but she’s a brand new character and despite all the dangers the heroes have already been through and the warnings from the prophecy, actually killing her off for good broke the tone. Suddenly this war was real and there were lasting consequences.

Game of Thrones’ “Red Wedding” didn’t just shock audiences because a bunch of people died, it was which people that died. Robb Stark, eldest son and heir to Sean Bean (so of course he’s dead) and one of the siblings of the “hero” family had been leading a war effort to rescue and then avenge his father. He gets betrayed and murdered, along with his mother and a fair chunk of his army, caught by surprise at a wedding, because he broke an oath and married for love instead.

I knew of the scene and knew that Catelyn Stark was there just from the one time I’d seen the clip years ago, and as it got closer I worried it was Robb’s wedding, but I still wasn’t prepared for the death of the hero of the show. Jon’s off in the north doing his own thing and so is Danaerys. This was the bright-eyed usurper, the avenger, the never-lost-a-battle upstart. No author would ever kill that hero.

They’d established that anyone can die, similar to the Walking Dead in some ways, but this was a whole new level of boldness, killing off Robb. At the time of this post, I haven’t seen past season 4, but I know more deaths are coming.

Deciding to murder your hero, in any other story, would not go over well with your audience. Killing any major character is a decision that should be made with a deep understanding of the consequences or else you end up like Walking Dead after they killed Carl for shock value and never recovered their audience viewership.

—

It’s not just dead protagonists, it can be worldly tragedies, the heroes actually losing a battle, or the war, a uniquely horrifying monster or cryptid or villainous act. Or it can be a character beginning to contemplate self-harm and possibly attempting to end their own lives. It can be the reveal of an abusive relative, or an incestuous relationship. It can be mental health problems, sudden and un-curable disease and disability.

It can be less-dire things too, but I’m not much for writing comedy.

Tone, like pacing, doesn’t have to remain consistent throughout the entire story. If it’s a lighthearted comedy, let it stay a lighthearted comedy if you want to. You can change tone progressively, with hints and near-misses, or drop a bomb on your audience with a big reveal. What you do and how you implement it is entirely dependant on the story you’re writing.

Most audiences expect a book that isn’t written for elementary schoolers to mature over time and most genres come with set understandings. But hey, I hear Animorphs can get incredibly dark with a bunch of mature themes.

In general, killing a character just for shock value is rarely worth it in the long run. In general, writing in triggering subjects without warning to an audience that wasn’t prepared for it also isn’t worth it in the long run — save it for a different book.

If fanfiction authors leave author’s notes everywhere warning about the subject matter ahead, published authors can do the same, in my opinion. Content warnings should be a thing and it doesn’t have to spoil the surprise. Include it as a forward to your book, letting potential readers know that such and such work they’re considering spending real money on contains mentions of, or explicit depictions of, any and all mature and sensitive themes. You never know who’s out there picking up your book expecting a good time. Do right by them and give a little heads up and you might gain a fan you wouldn’t have otherwise.

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

These Nimona headcanons have been sitting in my notes for like two weeks

I just know Bal and Ambrosius were those kids who had to be put on opposite sides of the room in class

And a lot of teachers assumed that they would just give up and pay attention but no

They’re some stubborn little shits who can't leave each other alone for more than five minutes 

And while they were on their breaks they went through the options of “long-distance” communication (because yes these dramatic dorks consider ten feet long distance)

Notes? No that could be tracked back to them

Sign language? No that's too noticeable 

They finally landed on morse code (because these losers would rather learn a dead language than wait to talk to each other)

Now you might be thinking “Roo wouldn't Bal be too focused on the lesson to talk to Ambrosius?” 

No this little nerd records all of their lessons so he won’t miss a single piece of information  

After they became fluent the only thing you could hear in class was the teacher talking some tapping here and there and Ambrosius and Bal holding back laughter with every fiber in their being 

I also know these dorks would choose each other for every single activity 

It got to a point where teachers would beg them to choose other people 

They would listen for like one day and then go back to working with each other 

These losers have known each other for so long that they can read each other's minds 

All they have to do is look at each other and they’re angry or laughing or blushing 

When people point it out Ambrosius will say he doesn’t even notice it anymore 

Bal will say it’s as natural as breathing 

And Nimona calls it creepy as fuck

They could also fill a book with the most random inside jokes most of which they don’t even really remember the context of 

The main trio are fiercely protective of each other 

Bal only got into a handful of fights back in the institute and it was all because someone got a little too comfortable and started talking shit about Ambrosius  

People lost count of how many fights that Ambrosius got into 

After a while Bal stopped wasting his breath by begging Ambrosius just to ignore them and bought a cool quality medkit 

The number of fights Bal got into skyrocketed after the wall fell 

While the majority of society saw the trio as heroes there were still some who called Nimona a monster and Ambrosius a disgrace

And most of those people couldn’t say anything afterward because their jaws were broken 

There was an incident in the market which was could be summed up as Ambrosius holding a man at knife point while threatening to cut his tongue out if he ever heard him call Bal a murderer again 

After Nimona came back the fights increased tenfold 

The first time Nimona and Ambrosius went to the market alone they came back bloody and bruised 

It wasn’t until Bal checked the news that he found out those dorks started a fucking riot 

There were also rumors that a man was missing a tongue but Bal hoped those were just rumors 

One time the three of them went out to dinner and some dumbass tried to jump them 

They claimed that it’s what Gloreth would have wanted 

Bal had to drag Ambrosius off of him while Nimona was egging him on

The first time that Nimona and Bal kidnapped Ambrosius from his office was undeniably the worst 

He hadn’t eaten or slept in days and he looked like he was ready to keel over 

And a couple of people dared to try and stop them 

Claiming Ambrosius “still had work to do” 

Nimona looked them dead in the eyes and said “If you don’t let us walk out of here I’ll make sure you never walk again” 

No one argued with them after that 

Bal told Nimona he was proud of them for keeping their cool

And Nimona replied “Thanks but I definitely broke someone’s foot on the way out”

He couldn’t even get mad at her because he broke someone’s hand

Bal says they’re the reason he’s getting grays in his early 20s 

To which Ambrosius responds “Moonbeam you came home yesterday with a broken nose and busted knuckles don’t talk to me about gray hair”

[sssapplebottomjeans]

okay okay okay one thing I just absolutely love about the relationship between rapunzel and varian and what the show did with them in general is just how perfectly they were set up as mirrors of each other. varian is corrupted rapunzel. rapunzel is what varian could have been

Literally starting from their births, okay, Rapunzel? Born into the royal family, she’s the Princess of Corona, the one and only direct heir to the throne. A day after her birth, she gets stolen from her family, from her kingdom and completely isolated from the world for eighteen years. She’s taught that the world is dangerous, but even in her isolation and loneliness, she finds something that keeps her happy, which for Rapunzel is her art. And she’s good at it, she paints on her walls and nothing bad comes out of it, they’re her freedom when she herself has none.

Then you have Varian. He’s the son of someone who worked in a Brotherhood, someone who was in a close alliance with the king of the Dark Kingdom. Before he was born, his dad left the Dark Kingdom and started a new life in Corona, now with a newborn son. Varian grows up to be a little bit of a teenage hermit. Instead of being taught that the world is dangerous, he’s taught that he is dangerous, the first rumors Cassandra hearing about him is that he is a 'dangerous wizard', which, when we first meet Varian for real, we find out that he doesn't even like being associated with magic. And his biggest hobby is the same thing that makes him an outcast in the first place, his alchemy. His inventions and experiments never work the way they should, but they’re what he thinks is his way out, he’s going to help people with this.

So, comparing that, I do believe that Varian is a sort of mirror to Rapunzel. Both placed in similar positions (albiet Rapunzel's more extreme) with similar choices, but with different outcomes and reactions. Rapunzel’s a direct heir to the throne, Varian’s not an heir to anything but he comes from a line of people that worked for the king. Rapunzel was stolen from her kingdom, Varian was born into this new kingdom, his dad was the one that left. Rapunzel was forced into isolation against her will; Varian chose it and continues to choose it in pursuit of something better. The world is dangerous to Rapunzel, Varian is dangerous to himself and the people he cares about the most. Rapunzel is happy because of her art and it’s her freedom. Varian is happy with his alchemy yet it’s why he’s an outcast. They’re mirror images of each other, and I think Varian figured that out first.

Even their personalities are similar in that they’re both hopeful, excitable, energetic, they talk a lot, they want to please their parental figure(s), they want to change the world but there’s limits set in stone that keep them from achieving that, they’re stubborn as fuck, impulsive and don’t listen to what people say unless it’s someone they really value the opinion of.

She still has a family, he doesn’t. (The sad thing is, I don't think he realizes that Rapunzel has already lost Gothel, and for eighteen years, Gothel was her 'mother') She’s respected, he’s not. And he gets that “oh. If she’s just like me but *better*, then I know how to make her tick.” So he tries to trap her mom in the amber, he’s going into this fully intending on murdering her mom in the same way his dad died just in case her hair doesn't work, (keeping in mind that Varian has confidence which ultimately led to his downfall, so whether he was completely sure Rapunzel's hair would work or not would make a big difference) which in that case- then the roles are completely flipped for a second. Now Rapunzel is the less extreme of the two. Rapunzel indirectly left Varian’s father to die, Varian pours the amber on her mom himself. And then he says it himself, “Sorry, Princess! We were in this together, but if I can’t have a happy ending then neither can you.” “It’s not enough until you endure the same amount of pain and agony I have!”

It’s all about corrupting this version of himself that has what he wants, the family that will always support her, (which we know is wrong. Fred and Ariana don’t justify everything she does, and Fred especially has made decisions about Rapunzel that really are just questionable at the best of times) the kingdom that will respect her. It’s trying to bring her down to his level, so maybe she’ll finally understand, cuz a lot of his conflict up until this point has been that nobody really listens to him, his dad, Rapunzel, or the kingdom.

I'm getting more into headcanon territory here but I would make an argument that Rapunzel realized how similar they were only when they were face to face in the final battle of SOTSD, and i would also argue that when she drives the last spike in his automaton, that's it's also a promise to herself that she will never become like how he was then, angry and bitter and jaded, an attack that's also destroying that small part of herself... also thinking that her destroying the automaton and not hurting Varian was part of that promise. Cuz she never really hated him. And even if she did, that promise to herself would've also been, "to be merciful, to not hold onto anger and grief, and give those who act out of pain and desperation another chance."

...aka the exact opposite of what Varian did.

Butttt that's diving into headcanons, plus. i'm sleep deprived atm and really don't feel like editing it SKDJGHJDG

The show already makes so many parallels between them and i think one of my favorites is the dream sequence in The Quest for Varian

It just…. So many feels. IMAGINE IF THEY HAD DONE MOON VARIAN, PLS SUN MOON LIGHT DARK HOPE GRIEF

[betterfettered]

Hello! How are you?

If requests are still open then would it be ok for me to ask how the brothers would react to reader already having a partner they’re serious about from before they met? Of course if that’s too many characters for you then you can just choose whoever you like though!

Thank you in any case and I hope you have a lovely day!

Hello fren! I’m kinda tired, the work week has been loooong. Send me ur energy like goku with the spirit bomb

Let’s go let’s go I’m gonna assume this is another human you loved before

(Gn!reader x AMAB!yandere)(Gn!SO)(noncon)(violence against reader)(gaslighting)(18+ readers only please, mdni)[This is fetish content and rape and abuse are disgusting and inexcusable in real life.]

Yandere!Lucifer:

(God I wanted to fight him so bad after he said this.)

If you ended up spending more time with your SO than him, disobeying him on account of your SO, or talking about your SO too much, you’ll end up wounding his pride (uh oh). At first he would give you warnings, maybe a few punishments, and then outright tell you that he is going to murder your SO if you continue to shirk on your duties as a spouse, you would know that he’s completely serious when he says that. He’ll also start to make you wear engagement rings and send you back to the human world in clothing that he has picked out for you, just to make sure that your SO understands their place in your life as a side ho. As long as he still feels like he has the most of your attention and the most control over you, he’d allow you to “frolic around with that human”.

Yandere!Mammon would be a nervous wreck. He would be so clingy and so forcefully affectionate, always pulling you into his lap or grabbing your face to kiss you. How could you even care about that dumb, weak human when you don’t even have a pact with them? Mammon was your first, after all! He’d constantly tell you to say that you love him and how special he is to you. Whenever you were planning to go back to the human world, he would sabotage your trip in any way possible, even if that meant partially debilitating you so you couldn’t teleport with magic. Yandere!Mammon is one of the most likely to get so jealous that he kills your SO, though he would try to play it off like he knew nothing about it (and fail). He’s also going to talk all kinds of smack about your SO and how much of a loser they are.

Yandere!Levi is probably the worst one to deal with in a case like this because he would turn the gloominess up all the way. He won’t stop comparing himself to your SO, talking about how obviously you would never love someone like him, how he should just go die because he’s so worthless. You might notice him making half hearted attempts to copy your SO (like wearing his hair the same way as them), and you will definitely notice that he is seriously stalking your SO on social media. Like multiple accounts monitoring them across multiple platforms – bro bro has memorized your SOs resume from LinkedIn and everything. He may try to manipulate you into making out or sex or letting him grope your chest and thighs by saying that he will die if he can’t have some more of you, and if you say no he will do it anyway, mumbling the whole time about how horrible he is, how he’s a total creep, how this is obviously why you hate him. Paradoxically, though, Levi will probably get angry at you if you say you love him, because he thinks you’re lying. If you really love him, you’ll come to his room and take your clothes off and straddle his lap while he’s in his gamer chair, and you’ll pet his head and cover his face in kisses while he plays a video game online.

Yandere!Satan would pretend that he didn’t mind, but he would be an asshole about your SO and towards you all the time. He would be really frustrated that you have chosen this other human. He’ll criticize you and your SO and your relationship relentlessly, pointing out every little flaw and clearly growing gleeful when his words are bothering you. If you pushed back on what he was saying, he would get angry, of course, but his punishments would be really bizarre and unfitting. If you keep arguing him down, for example, he'll drag you to his room, chain and gag you, and make you listen to him talk about something that takes him thirty minutes to connect back to his original point about your SO. He feels too emotionally vulnerable about you having someone else to be honest about his feelings, so (much like his relationship with Lucifer) he would try to annoy and humiliate you just to have your attention for a moment, but this is not sustainable for him. Eventually he’d be overwhelmed by his emotions and desires for you and force you to stay away from your SO, even if he needs to hurt you really badly to do so. After that it won’t be much time until he admits his feelings for you, probably as an explanation after nonconning you a few times.

Yandere!Asmo will find your SO, charm them, and then fuck them. He’ll send you videos of it, the sound of your SO moaning his name, blowing him, cumming for him. He’d fuck your SO in your room, too, especially when he was expecting you to come back and walk in on it. Believing his own bullshit, he’d tell you that he did it because he’s open to polyamory or something like that*, but then he’d name any negative emotion that you have about the situation as jealousy. You’re jealous of him that he’s so beautiful, that your SO loves him more than you now, that neither he nor your SO ever needed you, really. You’re jealous, and it’s really sad how insecure you are, he’d tell you while cradling you in his arms and rocking you back and forth. Don’t worry – he loves you anyway, even if your SO doesn’t anymore. So just stay with him, the only person who can accept what a nasty person you can be, and don’t ever again think about running off with someone who will never love you like he does.

Yandere!Beel will ask you a lot of questions about your SO, and then announce that he does not like or trust them. He’ll insist on accompanying you any time you go back to visit them, and be extremely over protective. Maybe it would seem kind of sweet at first, but it would quickly become alarming. He tells your SO not to touch you, not to feed you, not to even *breathe* in your direction. He’ll tell you often that he doesn’t trust your SO, and wants to stay by your side to keep you safe. You’ll find yourself wrapped in really tight hugs before bed, your outfits being checked carefully before you go out in the rain or cold, and Beel calling you several times throughout the day to hear your voice and be updated on what you’re doing. He’ll say he’s just really worried about you and is restless when he can’t see you, but probably won’t confess his growing obsession with you for now.

 Theres like a 50/50 chance Yandere!Belphie will just murder your SO straight out the gate LOLOL Assuming he doesn’t, Belphie is a bit of a brat, so every. single. time. you go to see your SO, it’s going to be a struggle with him. First he’ll sleep on top of you, then get aggressive when you try to get up, then bite you, hard, then pin you down and tell you its not long before he really loses it, before he can’t take your callous selfishness any more. If you continue to insist, Belphie will use some sloth bby magic to put you to sleep and fill your dreams with gruesome nightmares of him kissing and groping you while he’s covered in your SO’s blood and flesh. If you continue to insist even upon waking, he will make that a reality for you. Your best chance is to go when he’s sleeping, though you’ll know that only means something awful awaits you when you return home.

*in case it was not clear this is a front on Asmo's part and I don’t think that poly people are really like this

What do you think anon? Are you going to break things off with your SO or try your luck?

Pls send in more requests and questions! 🙇🏾‍♀️

[ixlander]

Family Abolition

Ozzy: Totally. Well, you're talking a little bit about this, I think, but could you maybe say how you would define family abolition and kind of what this vision of the future is?

M.E.: Sure, so first I'll define family. I provide three definitions of family at the beginning, and they don't cover everything people mean by family at all. The first is a unit of social reproduction. So this comes out of Marxist feminist theory, it's thinking about how are new workers created, how is a worker sort of fed and clothed and cleaned from one day to the next, right? And recognizing the tremendous role that the household plays in raising caring children, taking care of people during periods of unemployment and illness and disability and aging, and preparing a workforce every single day. And I think this is one of my most challenging arguments in the book, that a free society would not be organized around private households. We might choose to form them, but they wouldn't be economic units in the way that they are now.

The second definition of family is a sort of normative ideal that's really deeply tied up with white supremacy, colonialism, and heterosexuality, right? So, some families as being legitimate, being respectable, being approved, and other efforts and people caring for each other not counting as family, right? So, the separation of children in Indian Boarding Schools, what scholars call "natal alienation" during slavery, the long history of Child Protective Services in the family policing system violently intervening, particularly in Black people's lives, separation at the border.... So these are all like an apparatus of determining whose family counts and whose doesn't, and inflicting violence on those that doesn't. And this sort of normative ideal, I also link to the violence within families. The organization of personal domination that really characterizes so many families, and the vulnerability of people within families–– that families are the place we're most likely to be raped, or murdered, or beaten up, or harmed. You know that family is a site of such tremendous violence. And so breaking, overcoming, and destroying this racial normative ideal, and freeing people from the site of violent constraints they might experience in their families.

And then the third definition of family in chapter three, I talk about George Floyd, calling out to his deceased mother, as he's being murdered. And that the way we speak of family as sort of our greatest yearnings––our like love, our care, our desire for refuge, and making the argument that like, in order to fulfill this, we'd have to discover something more, something beyond what the family is now, and that we, you know, we turn to family at our most vulnerable. And when we speak of family, for some people we're speaking of like, our really deep need to feel cared for and loved, even if we didn't ever find that in our families.

And so part of what I argue family abolition is... so I provide a lot, an overview of a lot of different meanings of what family abolition can mean. But I end up focusing in on three, and they correspond to those three definitions. So the overcoming of the private household as the primary unit of social reproduction and survival. So that who you love and who you happen to be related to, and who you happen to live with, should have no material consequences for your well-being, who you have sex with shouldn't determine whether you have housing, or food, or health care, right? [laughs] This is ludicrous as a way of organizing a society. And if you happen to be born to transphobes, or you happen to be born to a violent person, there's actual, respectful, supportive, effective means to address that. And to grapple with that.

Two, that we radically overcome this sort of normative ideal of what counts as family, by radically transforming the regulation of families, by overcoming the sort of systems of racial terror, and they're destroying them, that do so much harm against certain kinds of care relations. And then three, that the love and care that we look for in families be universal and widely accessible throughout society, and built available to everyone. That we all need it, and we shouldn't have to only depend on who we're having sex with in order to find it. We need to build a society built on caring for people and not on the impersonal driving, violence of profit. So generalizing, unleashing and generalizing the care available in the best families as universally available throughout society. So those sort of three definitions are a big part of what I mean by family: the overcoming of the private household, destruction of family policing system, and the unleashing and universalizing of the care that we depend on in the family.

m.e. o’brien on gender reveal podcast episode 151

[daenerysies]

I think Olivia is really pushing for Rhaenicent to become canon because it’s the only way she can stay popular with the general audience. They don’t like Team Green but if Alicent abandons her family for Nyra she thinks they won’t associate her with the faction. Do you think the writers will give in?

i’m not entirely sure if the writers would give in specifically because of olivia wanting it, but i do think they have this idea in their head (and this is mostly in regards to how they keep claiming their writing is ‘super feminist’) that if they push these two women together as hard as they can they’ll be able to reach a ’broader’ audience with the tragedy that would be that failed friendship. never mind the fact that every other character and relationship will (and already do) suffer greatly from this decision.

they don’t seem to care about the bigger picture when it comes to the dance, and it’s heavily evident in season one. there is absolutely no way that rhaenicent could ever work at this point (or really at any point) in the story. rhaenyra found out her father was dead and her throne was usurped, causing her to go into pre-term labor and lose her daughter. then luke was murdered as a messenger by aemond. all of this happens within a few days of each other (another glaring mistake but that’s a topic for another day.) alicent being able to abandon her family (which she would never do, and completely defeats the purpose of them having her steal the throne to protect her children’s lives and not just for power) and go on to beg for forgiveness from her arch nemesis whom she has caused so much grief to is borderline insanity. not to mention that blood and cheese are most likely happening in episode one, and while we the viewer/reader know that rhaenyra most likely didn’t have anything to do with it (and even that is still up for debate), alicent will not.

so they’re basically saying that luke’s death doesn’t matter, jaehaerys’ death doesn’t matter, helaena succumbing to her own anguish from choosing maelor to die over jaehaerys (we also don’t even know what’s really going to happen with b&c because there is no evidence of maelor having ever existed in the show, either he’s suddenly going to appear or helaena has to choose between jaehaerys and jaehaera instead.) nothing matters except alicent and rhaenyra becoming besties again; because let’s be honest with ourselves, if this is the route the writers have chosen they’re just going to continue their queerbaiting rhetoric and not confirm them being together/having genuine feelings for each other.

i firmly believe that olivia deserves better out of the fandom, but rhaenicent needs to be shelved. immediately. it’s doing nothing for hotd besides dragging it down. i flip flop every other week on whether the writing is going to be actually worth our time, and with george stepping in to help salvage season two i do have higher expectations. on the other hand if condal and hess are involved it’s pretty safe to say that something is still going to go wrong. hope for the best and expect the worst is the mentality to have right now, unfortunately.

[simlit]

Chosen of the Sun | | dawn // thirty

| @izayoichan | @maladi777

ABILITY CHECK | CHARISMA Aster is assigned a base stat of 10 charisma, with a bonus of 5. Question #1 requires a roll of at least 15. Question #2 requires a roll of at least 16. Question #3 requires a roll of at least 18.  Question #4 requires a roll of at least 18.  Question #5 requires a roll of at least 20. 

next / previous / beginning

LUCIEN: Then… someone died? ELDEWYN: Indeed, someone did. And none of the remaining nine claimed responsibility. Made things quite interesting for spectators. There was some rumors that perhaps even the Chosen of the Sun might have been the killer. INDRYR: Surely the goddess of the moon would not select a murderer as her chosen. ELDEWYN: Ah, but it is sometimes the case. After all, back then, anything was acceptable. Even had they admitted their deed, they would not have been punished. LUCIEN: How awful… INDRYR: And who was the victim? ELDEWYN: Mm, the last to lose their life in the moon trials… What was it… ah yes… Castien, was his name. Castien Thallan. KYRIE: Who was he? ELDEWYN: A rabblerouser from the south. He used to get into all sorts of trouble. I remember before he was chosen, he and his little gang would stir up the city, made people restless. The guard was always after him for one thing or another, but never could hold him long. Imagine our shock when it was announced he'd been picked. After that, he was untouchable of course. Ironic, you ask me. KYRIE: He was just a delinquent, then? ELDEWYN: Yes, you could say so. A thorn in the capital’s side, really. But clearly honorable enough for the Moon to choose him. ASTER: A toast! To a veritable troublemaker! I can certainly relate. After all, they only had to drag me out of jail right to the steps of the church! ELDEWYN: Ha! That’s right! I’ll say, there was quite the gossip about it in town! INDRYR: Whatever were you arrested for, anyways? ASTER: Oh, you know, a little scuffle… bit of a bar brawl if I’m honest. I’m not much of a fighter, but tell that to my tongue! INDRYR: How curious that no one ever admitted to the deed. Are they certain he didn’t die to the elements? ELDEWYN: To be frank, there was a great deal of speculation about it, but seeing as how no one but then Ten were inside, there’s really no way of knowing. Afterwards, he was given over to the King’s clerics and prepared for burial. We honor the fallen, of course. They’re still Chosen, even in death. But he had no kin to speak of, and no one after came to claim him that wasn’t one of his fellow troublemakers. KYRIE: Whatever happened to them? ELDEWYN: I’m certain I don’t know. Went on their way, or grew up, I suppose! INDRYR: Perhaps there was someone else in the labyrinth? ELDEWYN: Hm? What do you mean by that? INDRYR: You said there were many dangers within the maze, it could be that he encountered someone there. Someone not Chosen? ELDEWYN: The labyrinth is located on the outskirts of the city. During the trial the entrances are heavily guarded, and very few people know the way through. Even if someone could get passed the blockades, they’d be utterly lost! INDRYR: Then, it doesn’t seem particularly efficient that anyone would plan to use the trial as a cover for murder. Unless… LUCIEN: Why would anyone think to do that? ASTER: Quite conspiratorial there, Indryr! And who doesn’t love a good conspiracy theory? Mm? I’m sure there’s a secret dragon under the castle waiting to make snacks of us all. More wine, my lord? ELDEWYN: Of course, of course! KYRIE: Surely you don’t think there was outside involvement? INDRYR: I’m only speculating. KYRIE: I’m certain there’s no evidence of that. Isn’t that right, my lord? ELDEWYN: Well, you know, he’s not the first to say so. There were rumors at the time that perhaps Castien’s involvement in the trials had been predetermined. KYRIE: Predetermined? ELDEWYN: They said he was selected deliberately. At request of… It’s all hearsay, anyways. LUCIEN: But the Chosen are selected by divine right! Lunar Priests get their orders directly from the goddess of the moon! Right, Your Grace? KYRIE: Uh— ELDEWYN: Of course, Your Highness. It is silly gossip, nothing more. Some people believed the presiding priest was espousing false information. But the trials were successful as every year before. There’s no reason to think he was lying about Castien being one of the true Chosen Ten. But people will get all sorts of ideas if given even a shred of mystery.

[leatherface-kisser]

Heeeyy !! Can I request some headcanons of the Sawyers throwing a little party ? Like with music, ~~meat~~ food, and dancing with the reader ??? Something funny !

You certainly may! This was so fun to write, I hope you like the headcanons I came up with! Thank you for sending this blog's first request anon!

Warnings : Mentions of cannibalism and murder (nothing unusual in the Sawyer household)

Without further ado, let's get this party going!

Partying with the Sawyers :

Oh boy. One thing’s for sure, a party at the Sawyers’ will NEVER be boring. Maybe it’s someone’s birthday, maybe it’s a special holiday/occasion, or perhaps Drayton just won an award for a cooking contest and wants to celebrate. Either way, the Sawyers’ celebrations are loud, chaotic and wild. 

But first, we need to prepare for the party! And that’s a whole experience in itself. There’s a lot of yelling and fussing.

You bet the house has some celebratory decorations thrown around. Sure, they’re mostly bone and leather ornaments, but they’re still mighty pretty! Drayton kinda supervises from afar, he’s very busy in the kitchen (and when he’s in the kitchen, no one disturbs him, unless you want to experience the Cook’s wrath). Meanwhile, Bubba, the twins and you put the decorations up. 

The twins are disorganized and get distracted easily. Bubba can get pretty fussy about putting the decorations “just right”, he wants everything to look pretty and perfect. He gets fixated on certain things that won’t really matter in the end. You’ll probably have to take matters into your own hands and give them directions if you want things to get done efficiently and make sure the brothers don’t break into a fight!

Bubba’s job is to hang things that are too high for the others to reach. Nubbins is requested to decorate the tables and furniture, mostly with bone sculptures, but also with feathers and flowers. And Chop Top? Well, he’s the DJ of course! He is busy picking the best vinyls and choosing the best radio stations. Spoiler alert, it’s KOKLA Radio, with Stretch as the DJ of course.

You bet Bubba has put on his best mask, his best clothes, his best tie and his best makeup for the occasion. He looks absolutely dashing. He will feel incredibly happy if you compliments his looks. He will happily show off and give you a twirl.

Chop Top also put on something special for the celebration. And it’s… interesting, to say the least. I’ll let your imagination run wild, the possibilities are endless.

And with everything ready, it’s finally time to party!

In terms of food, there’s nothing too extravagant or pricey. Don’t be mistaken, there’s still plenty of meat on the table! And I do mean plenty. You already know what type of meat it is.

A dinner guest might be present for the festivities. If somehow the party wasn’t lively before that, surely their presence will ensure this. The poor thing will probably be terrorized beyond comprehension as this family of cannibals throws a wild party around them. Killing the guest will be a party activity at some point. Everyone but the guest will cheer on! "Come on, get ‘em! Get ‘em!!! WOOOO!!!"

I hope you like meat and have no problem with cannibalism, cause that’s all there is to sink your teeth into. At least, you’ve got a choice in how you’re consuming the meat. Ribs, sausages, ham, pâté, steak, bone marrow, chili… etc etc. The kitchen looks like a battlefield. Nonetheless, Drayton is very proud to put what he cooked on the table! Despite its origin, the food is genuinely delicious.

You might find a couple of vegetables here and there if the Sawyers can afford it. It will most likely be corn, cabbages, potatoes, leeks or beans to accompany the meat. However, that’s only if they can afford it. You’ll most likely find vegetables on the table if Drayton wins an award for his famous chili.

After eating, lots of dancing ! Everyone is swaying to the radio or vinyl. You swear you even see grandpa gently moving his head from side to side with a slight, content smile from time to time. He’s mostly just asleep almost the entire time though. But what about the rest of the Sawyers? Do they dance?

Drayton might need some convincing to get onto the dancefloor. He’s a little tense at first, but eventually relaxes and dances a little bit. He wears his infamous charming smile, and he actually looks genuinely happy while it lasts. Overall pretty sweet! He acts like he’s doing you a favor by accepting to dance, but he’s genuinely having fun. Doesn’t dance for very long, he says he’s too old for that.

The twins are thrashing around like wild beasts, loudly singing along the melody. Chop Top often rants about the different songs or bands he likes all while dancing like there’s no tomorrow. He will end up completely out of breath. Nubbins will, before your astonished eyes, improvise some of the most experimental, incongruous dance moves known to man. What even are you looking at?? Phenomenal performance overall, 10/10.

What about Bubba? Does he dance? Oh he sure does, and he’s killing it! He’s not exactly the most gracious dancer, but he just looks so happy! Look at him go! Will absolutely ask you to dance with him at some point and twirl you around (you will get dizzy). He’s got some moves that he picked up from watching television. Bubba is beaming with joy as he sees everyone having a good time, it’s just like a dream. Lots of happy wiggling, squealing and howling.

Also, alcohol! That’s mostly Drayton’s initiative, I can totally see him enjoy a good bottle of whiskey, gin or tequila. He sips on his drink throughout the party and usually ends up dozed off on a chair somewhere after a few drinks. 

The twins don’t enjoy alcohol the same way Drayton does. While the oldest savors the taste and enjoys the drink for what it is, they, like the chaotic party rats they are, just like to get as shit faced as possible. They love the euphoria of drunkenness and will probably end up very drunk at some point. Lord have mercy on anyone in their near proximity, shit can get crazy real fast. Their words are slurred, even louder than usual, very frantic and energetic. Please watch over them to make sure they don’t actually kill themselves in their drunken stupidity. Bubba screeches in distress everytime a twin does something unreasonably dangerous. Word of advice : hide all the blades, especially the chainsaw. 

Bubba just follows along with whatever his brothers are doing. He’s not actively seeking to get shit faced, but he still drinks a fair bit. Drayton is too sleepy to scold him. You don’t need to worry about Bubba as much as with the twins, the guy can drink a fair amount before actually feeling drunk. I mean, have you seen the size of the guy?? Bubba is most likely not a lightweight. He’s not really a fan of the taste of alcohol, but he does enjoy the way it makes him feel all warm, dizzy and funny. Bubba giggles a lot when he’s drunk, he also sways quite a lot on his feet, struggling to balance himself properly. Very clumsy boy. Oh and, he’s also quite the cuddle bug when he’s drunk. Will ask for a few hugs to recharge. 

The party eventually comes to an end, everyone’s belly is full, everyone is exhausted, and you all end up passing out. The next morning, it’s straight up back to business! Drayton is up, and in a not so great mood due to a headache. No more fooling around! We have a business to tend to and a house to clean up! Go go go!

This causes a nonstop stream of whining and complaining from the twins. They get the worst hangovers. Bubba doesn’t complain and does what he needs to do, but he just feels TIRED. Bubba is usually an early bird, but after a party? Waking up is more difficult, he’s groggy. Drayton’s right though, the house is a complete mess. That won’t do. Welp, that was fun while it lasted, time to tidy up!

Thank you for reading!

[wren-writes-things]

Hii wren <3

1, 8, 10, 28 for soft asks :3

Hey Pixel! How have you been?

1. What song makes you feel better?

Well music just calms me down in general, I’ve always just really enjoyed the piano and singing. So you can probably get me to listen to just about anything and I’ll probably be happy.

But let’s see… New Discovery by the Crane Wives and Meteor Shower by Cavetown both have a really nice imagery to them and I appreciate that. Also my roommate writes music and I always love hearing what she’s working on because I know she puts a lot of work into them.

Oh the BotW soundtrack. My absolute adoration for that game might provide a bias but I love it so much.

8. Tag someone (or multiple people) who make you feel good.

I had things to say and it got out of hand, this is not my fault. Also I realized partway through this that a surprisingly large percentage of my mutuals are trying to kill me with their fanfics. “Guys, you have to stop, I can only take so many emotions,” they say, as if they don’t choose which fanfics they read.

@liminal-lesbian | You’ve always left really supportive comments when I posted stuff about my AUs and you’re just a really nice person. It also makes up for the fact that your last fanfic inflicted permanent trauma on me. (Joking on that last part but seriously if you haven’t read her fanfics drop everything you’re doing and go read them now. You could be literally trying to save the world but this takes priority.)

@the-god-of-chaos-himself | You might have an evil alter ego trying to murder me as I type this, but you’re an awesome person to talk to and I enjoy our conversations. (Yes this does imply Dalex is trying to stab me and I’m just typing on my phone, I have ADHD what do you expect?)

@kiwibirb1 | I was so excited when we became mutuals the other day the other day, you’re just a very cool person and I’m always excited to see what new ideas you have.

@detentiontrack | So we do not talk much and I legitimately did not know you were aware of my existence, but you said I was nice the other day and it just made me really happy. Plus I just find your blog really interesting.

@sars-wulf | While you’re definitely trying to murder my emotional stability with your writing you are very cool. I really just enjoy talking to you.

@aspynnwoofs | You’re really exciting to have boop wars against, also you’re just a really nice person! We do not talk a ton (because I’m pretty sure we’re both bad at conversation initiation), but I really enjoy seeing you.

@meowlphibia | You’ve successfully become the most reasonable one in the adoptive family of Marcy Wu, but only because everyone else is completely unhinged. Congratulations on this award. Honestly though you’re just a really cool person to talk to.

@heart-wit-strength | The joy that I experience every time I notice you in my notifications is astounding. You’re just a really cool person with really interesting Amphibia takes and AUs. Also you gave me claws one time via polls and I wish to assure you that I have made the best use of them.

10. What's something you’re excited for?

Ooh! I have an example that isn't Amphibia related for once. Epic The Underworld Saga is coming out soon, which yes I am aware you know (because you're the one who cursed me with this interest, and I mean that positively) The music is just so well done and I’m really looking forward to it. The Art of Amphibia is coming out and I need it! Oh also Stardew Valley updated and I’m really looking forward to when the update is available on the switch.

28. hugs or hand-holding?

Hugs, they’re just really nice.

[actual-bill-potts]

A question I’ve always struggled with when writing about the First Age is: how did the non-Fëanorions (particularly the Arafinwions) react to the first Kinslaying?

Alqualondë has an outsized impact on the narrative - it’s responsible for the ban on Quenya, for most of Thingol’s hostility towards the Noldor, and of course for the Doom of the Noldor, which is arguably one of the over-arching conflicts of the story. But we don’t really get to see anyone’s reactions to it (besides Thingol’s), and - oddly - in-text, no one performs any action in response to it. Finarfin explicitly turns back after the Doom is pronounced, not after Alqualondë itself!

Isn’t it odd that no one saw all the dead bodies and stayed behind to help? Not one of the Arafinwions - you know, the kids of Eärwen, Teleri princess? That it was never even under discussion?

In my opinion, the only way you can justify this without making most of the Noldor completely morally bankrupt (and you can certainly argue that at this point in time, they’re already remorseless killers - but I think there’s some moral difference between a fight that got out of hand in the heat and desperation of the moment, and coming upon the aftermath of a fight where people are lying dead and dying everywhere, and completely ignoring it) is if the Teleri basically kicked them out. And I think what’s ignored in a lot of readings of the Arafinwions’ decisions is the agency of Eärwen (understandable, Tolkien doesn’t really mention her at all, nobody ever said the Silm was a feminist text lol).

Here’s one plausible interpretation of what happened, feat. Eärwen making actual decisions that help drive the plot:

To the Teleri, the idea of leaving Aman to honor Finwë would be insanely disrespectful. Finwë pled with the Valar for years to bring the Teleri to Aman! Finwë led his people through great danger to Aman! And now that he is dead, they want to immediately undo his actions and abandon his life's work? No way! Fëanor will do what he wants, but surely the rest of the Noldor won't go along with it...?

Eärwen is of like mind with the Teleri - of course she grieves Finwë, along with Finarfin, but in her mind the best way to honor him is to stay in the place of safety that he gave his life for. To leave would be a grievous insult.

But Finarfin won't abandon his brothers, and their children are also set on going, for all the textual reasons: Finrod for Turgon and to see Beleriand, Aegnor and Angrod for Fingon, Galadriel for new lands to rule. Orodreth doesn't want to leave, but he's the consummate middle child and doesn't want to be left out by his siblings either. Eärwen is furious: from her point of view, her husband is choosing his insane brother over her (as he's probably done at many points during the relationship if we're honest...), and he's taking her children with him!

But she's also the daughter of Olwë: she knows how hard it is to travel between Valinor and Beleriand. She doesn't think they'll make it. So she just says, come to me when you've come to your senses, and goes to take refuge at her father's house.

But then! The Kinslaying happens. oops :)

From the Teleri point of view: the Noldor tried to steal their ships, they fought back, and they were slaughtered. From Eärwen's point of view, the brothers that her husband and children chose over her killed her people. Her sons and daughter betrayed and murdered their childhood nursemaids, their swimming teachers, their friends, their people. She declares to Olwë: I have no husband, and I have no children.

Olwë says: all right then, there goes my one remaining reason to play nice with the Noldor. He decrees that no Noldor will be allowed within their city, on pain of death. Maybe a slight overreaction? But if the Noldor are allowed to be insane in their grief then so are the Teleri.

From the Arafinwion point of view: they came upon a battle already done, and the ships gone. They saw Noldor and Teleri bodies mingled together, and probably couldn't get a clear answer out of anyone about what happened. Then they're chased out of the city at spearpoint when they try to help. Finarfin, without fully knowing what's happened, tries to play the peacemaker bc that's his automatic response, and says, "is there any way we can make amends/make this up to you?"

Olwë hears that and assumes that Finarfin participated in the Kinslaying. He's like "HELL no, get the FUCK out and your children with you!"

Finarfin and his kids ask to see Eärwen. They're vehemently refused.

From there, what can they do but go forwards? They can't help the Teleri, or do anything to make amends; the Teleri won't let them. Finarfin&co can't even see Eärwen! They have no reason to go back to Tirion, and every reason to go forward with the host - they still don't know what happened, and they can at least help the Noldor, who were also killed in droves.

But then they get the full story out of the Nolofinwions, and they're horrified. No wonder Ammë didn't want to see me, Finrod says miserably, I wouldn't want to see me either.

But they still can't go back to Alqualondë. And all the reasons they had for leaving Tirion are still there: friendship, the desire to see Beleriand, wanting vengeance for Finwë and to regain the Silmarils (which are, remember, the only remaining source of light they have besides the stars). And besides, pretty much everyone besides a few assholes and Fëanor is torn up about the Kinslaying, and regrets what happens.

At least some of the Arafinwion host is still on fire to go on - if Finarfin and his kids turn back, they'll be leaving their people to the leadership of Fingolfin and Fëanor, who are both completely insane with grief and rage currently. And they'll also be leaving their cousins to the responsibility of....all that...alone. Finrod and Galadriel decide to go on. Orodreth wants to turn back. Aegnor and Angrod are undecided. Finarfin is so torn up he doesn't know what to think.

Then the Doom is pronounced. And I think the response from the Arafinwion host would be: what the fuck?!

Remember, the Arafinwions (and at least some of Nolofinwions) have done absolutely nothing wrong besides express a desire to leave. And now they're being told that the wrath of the Valar lays on them just as much as on the bloodthirstiest of their Kinslaying brethren. Maybe, they think, Fëanor had a point about the Valar. Maybe Olwë was in the wrong to not let them have the ships. Maybe the Kinslaying wasn't so bad after all! Most of the Arafinwions are now completely enraged with the Valar and totally ready to follow Fëanor.

But Finarfin - Finarfin cannot believe his brothers. He cannot believe what they have condemned him and his people to, in their rage and pain. They have lost him his wife. Their people killed many he counted as close friends. They have placed him and all his children under the wrath of the Valar.

For the first time in his life, he gives up on peacemaking. He tells his children, "Let's go home."

But they won't go. They're as furious with the Valar as anyone else. They're angry with their mother, for refusing to see them, for believing that of them; and they won't let their cousins face their doom alone. Besides, Finrod at least still doesn't want to abandon their people.

Galadriel and Finarfin get into a screaming fight, the first of their lives. Finrod tries unsuccessfully to mediate and ends up snapping at his father and leaving. Orodreth is weeping in the background. Aegnor and Angrod, angry with their father, turn heel and go to stand with Fingon.

Finally, Finarfin just...gives up. He takes those who are willing to go, and leaves without a word to his children or brothers.

After he has received a pardon, he eventually reconciles with Eärwen. Apologies are made on both sides.

But Finarfin's biggest regret is the way he parted with his children - and he won't get to see his youngest again until three Ages of the world have passed.