#can we all agree that staten island sucks

[pencilscratchins]

as a new yorker i am SO sorry you live in jersey you don't seem like the kind of person to deserve something like that

enjoy your piss city

[mikasaessucasaa]

Four Spiders and a Lawyer

PART 1

Michelle is a lawyer for superheroes. She’s the first one to admit that she was definitely inspired by her ex-boyfriend, but she thinks it’s meaningful work and she’s really damn good at it.

She’s been scouted by the Avengers, S.H.I.E.L.D., and her proudest achievement — Pepper Potts, and she rejected all of them to represent underprivileged super-heroes.

She represents those who are just starting out in their superheroing careers, or those discriminated against even if they literally save lives everyday. Cause turns out the world still sucks even if you’re super powered.

She doesn’t mind her tiny office in the middle of Chinatown. She enjoys the crowds of tourists mixed in with locals, the interesting delicious and pungent smells. She doesn’t even mind The Hand and Chinese Triads, in a twisted way they keep the peace, and provide rent control for some of her favorite restaurants. She’d never tell her superhero clientele of course.

She loves it all. And if she happened to pick the furthest point from Queens in the city without going to Staten Island, well, no one was supposed to ever know it was because she was done breaking up and getting back together with Peter for the better part of a decade and a half.

So why the hell were there all of a sudden three Spider-People in her office?

“Spider-Man,” she says at them with pretend disinterest, though they must hear how her heart pounds and her body tells her she needs to get out of this situation lest it snowballs into everything she’s been avoiding for years.

“Yes?” Two of the three Spider-People turned to look at her, startling her.

“Okaaay,” she draws out. “OG Spider-Man,” referring directly to Peter, “what the hell is going on?”

“Well, you see, Mrs. Jones-Osborne—“

“Just Jones.”

She can tell his eyes light up from behind his mask from the way that he says, “Wow that’s great!”

And she couldn’t stop rolling her eyes. She’s not going to go into how her marriage basically fell apart because of her job, to her ex-boyfriend. Fundamentally, it just wasn’t going to work out when her ex-father-in-law was a super-villain. And she definitely wasn’t going to tell him that maybe he had been right to object at her wedding.

It’s the most traumatizing experience she’s ever had in the last ten years, and that included some of her drunken shenanigans in college when she thought she was going to die without him.

“Look Em, I just want you to be happy, and I don’t think Harry makes you happy like you say he does” he had said in front of all of her family and friends. And how dare he, how fucking dare he tell her what was best for her like he always did.

Her face burned, and a scream was building in her throat.

But she had said with all the calmness and hatred that she could muster, “I’m just as happy as I always said I was, and if you can’t see that, then I don’t think we’re the friends you thought we were. Maybe we shouldn’t even be friends at all.”

And now to see him in front of her again, knowing that he was right all along. God she could die from the humiliation.

She gestures for him to continue.

“I’m kind of mentoring the next generation of Spider-People, and we may or may not have gotten into some legal trouble,” Peter answers awkwardly, and she knows him well enough to know that he’s a splotchy red under the mask because he hates admitting that he messed up and needs help.

“Miles is getting sued for reckless endangerment,” Young Spider-Woman jumps in.

“Gwen!” Young Spider-Man cries out.

“Miles! We’re not supposed to say names!” Peter follows.

Oh my god, she thinks. She feels a headache coming on. “Alright. If everyone could just please follow the number one rule of this office, that would be great,” she says pointing to the large sign behind her saying:

ABSOLUTELY NO IDENTITY REVEALS

Now she’s going to have to get her brain scrubbed by Dr. Strange again, but maybe if she’s lucky he’ll scrub her memories of Peter too.

Before she can say anything else, Silk crashes into the room, and Michelle is pretty sure she broke her door. Dammit.

“Woah, MJ! You’re our new lawyer? Sick! Do you remember me? It’s me Cindy!” Silk says, going further than everyone else and removing her mask.

And what the hell — “Cindy? I haven’t seen you in ten years since you —“

“Bailed on our date —“

Peter interjects, “Wait what, you two were dating?”

“Not that it’s any of your business,” Michelle mumbles.

And Cindy continues, “— yeah well you know how hard it is to be in a relationship when you’ve been trapped in a bunker for ten years. Peter actually got me out! Isn’t that great?”

“Super.”

“So, you think we could pick it back up?”

“Cindy!” Peter yells.

Michelle coughs. “Uh sorry, I don’t date my clients.”

Cindy pouts. “Oh, well we can just find another lawyer can’t we?”

“We can’t afford another lawyer,” Peter hisses. “Now sit down!”

They settle in, or Gwen and Miles do but Peter and Cindy are standing in the opposite corners of the room, and Michelle asks, “So uh is Cindy another one of the next generation?”

“Uh y-yeah,” Peter stutters before being cut off by Cindy.

“Actually, we have this weird spider attraction where we can barely keep ourselves from having sex so we don’t really ever work with each other. But I really need a lawyer sooo,” Cindy says.

She shouldn’t have asked if she didn’t want to know, but her curiosity wins out, and she continues, “So how are you not just trying to rip each other’s clothes off right now?”

Cindy tilts her head, thinking through it. “I actually kind of want to rip off your clothes more?”

Peter looks like he wants to say something, though it’s hard to tell cause his mask is still on and she’s guessing by the way his head tilts, but he holds it in. It’s probably for the best, he would have ended up agreeing with Cindy anyways.

"And do you also need a lawyer for reckless endangerment?" Michelle asks.

Cindy shook her head. "Actually, the IRS is suing me for unpaid taxes over the last ten years I was in the bunker."

Michelle sighs. She hates tax law.

"Alright, lay it on me."

[ourladyofomega]

The halfway mark is here. I’m amazed at myself for having a banner year so far.

I became the top seller in my location for the second year in a row and took time off right after. I finally managed to visit Williamsburg’s Rough Trade for a music shopping spree and drove out to the North Shore to support my friend’s pickle house. Local pinball arcades opened to my surprise! Finds in darkwave, EDM, minimal and post-punk / d.i.y. made for some great new winter and spring soundtracks and I’m giving it all at the gym every off-day I have.

The best moments were getting to meet some memorable customers at my store. A Queens brunette and her pretty green eyes asked me for copies of KIDS on DVD. Gypsy-hippies and bandana girls. Real-deal gingers driving their loudmouth Brooklyn-Italian fathers crazy for pink MacBooks. And my all-time favorite: the cheery pale redhead who pulled out and showed me an almost 40 year-old still-working Sony Watchman out of her backpack. I almost died in shock.

With my old man gone, I’ve slowed down, focused on myself instead of selfish personal drama, and made moves to make me happy. I been in touch with counselors and career coaches because I want and deserve better for myself. With more time taken off, I’m able to catch up with posting, sound editing, and getting ready to go live on the air for what is a now-busy broadcasting season.

Now summer’s here. It’s the only season I dread because, more often than not, I fall short for what’s at stake. I wanted to visit my family in Staten Island on a rare Sunday off. But traffic clogged up the Long Island Expressway and I wasted the entire day home checking if it would dissipate. It didn’t until it was too late. Two days ago I took the train to New York City / Manhattan for a follow-up and anxiety told me to head right home. No Generation Records on the Lower East Side, no Central Park. And it was perfect weather, too. Now I just learned I’ll be working the 4th of July holiday. Fucking great.

It also sucks that I have a record collection, a spacious backyard, swimming pool, arcades around me, 3AM night drives, and other things I can’t share with. I dated an addict whom went with me to all the parks, restaurants, and record stores we could think of. That ended when her boyfriend overdosed and died and she ended up burning her bridges on me. I had a follower from Brooklyn whom I discovered here and she checked off all the boxes I didn’t realize was looking for. We agreed to meet up one day only for her to tell me later on that she had birthday plans with her boyfriend. The fact that she purposely took me for a ride had me experience a depressing aftermath I’m still not over.

Even I can’t have a friend who lives down the highway from me. She was someone who suffered with BPD whom I used to cared about. We had lots in common with music taste, aesthetic, and mental struggles; and she also had many things that I wanted. Nope. She didn’t see the same value I saw and instead chose to be foolish and play games with me. (This has no bearing or judgment on anyone with BPD following me here.)

Why? Because people are so selfish, deceitful, and untrustworthy where I’m from that it’s so broken beyond repair. Though my friends and allies everywhere tell me otherwise, the events support what my anxiety / depression tells me. It’s not the mind-state I or anyone wants to have right now. It’s clear to see that if maybe people would stick around, there’d be the difference in having meaningful conversations with who I want to at 2AM in the morning, a reason to ride to the city for the weekend, or simply experience something new...instead of pissing it all away for nothing.

With anxiety and depression, you see, feel, and interpret things slightly off-white than most people, good or bad. It’s the juxtapositions of trauma and every piece of sound I hear and every color, light, and aesthetic I see. It’s that haunting feeling that forces you to face those hard-to-swallow pills, the dread that has you put in situations others can’t comprehend or experience, or the hopelessness that tells you that you have no more outs in the deck when those exact same things are right in front of you.

Yet that other level of thinking is why I get and need the beauty of spritzed-on fresh cotton threads, the voice samples from your favorite pinball table cabinets, or driving down a wide empty Nichols Rd. at 3AM on a chilly May night. Those little things help stave off and take the focus off of daily perpetual dread; a dread I wish on nobody.

I have reliable friends I haven’t heard from in years now leaving messages on my phone, and their friends also took ninety minutes of their time in keelhauling me down memory lane. I have Rob Villain coming up from Vegas wanting to meet me in Harlem. He’s the guy I met at an Atari Teenage Riot show in the city and hung out with me on Record Store Day the year after. He’s told me I became such an influence on him solely based on the (music) finds I posted and the records I showed him. New York City and Coney Island are now open for business after more than a year of death and I’m waiting for the refund to hit so I can throw it all away on record stores. We’re on the rise and things are looking up so as long as I can find them. I want to make the rest of this year to count.

I know I run the risk of being misunderstood or sounding as a stereotype. I rarely indulge because those who follow me on @omegaplus know I’m tired of posting drama. I won’t do it here often. Anyone reading this who can also relate please show your support. For those who have, you’re all fucking awesome, and thank you.

[thatesqcrush]

The Finish Line

Sonny Carisi x Reader.

AN: This fic was inspired by the NYC marathon which took place earlier this month. In another life, I was a runner. I ran the NYC marathon in 2013 + 2014. As a native New Yorker, there is something really special about running it and I hope to get to the start line sometime soon (like 2020/1).

AN2: Thanks to @melsquared79 for betaing.

CW: Marshmallow fluff

Tags: @madpanda75 @ottosuricato @delia26 @dreila03 @sass-and-suspenders @glimmerglittergirl @melsquared79 @mommakat32 @garturbo @southern-magnolia @niyashell @tropes-and-tales @imjustreallynosy @whyissvuruiningmylovelife @sweetsummertime99 @evee87 @scarlettsoldier @kscarlett1 @cesarofangirl78 @redlipstickandplaid

***

“It’s either here, here, or here.” Sonny replied, pointing his finger to various spots on the map.”

“Well, you can’t here or here,” Amanda replied, taking a sip of her coffee with one hand and using her other hand to point to the map. She was sitting on the top of Carisi’s desk. “Too early on.”

Sonny furrowed his brow, nodding. He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “I agree. So, at the finish then?”

“I think that’s best; you’ll both be done and already on a high,” Amanda replied. “So do you still want me to hold —?”

“Yes. At the finish. I don’t want to lose it on the route,” Sonny replied. “You don’t mind holding onto it a little longer?”

“Why would I? You’re my best friend,” Amanda winked. She hopped off the desk and grabbed her jacket. “I’ve got you.”

****

“Y/N over my dead body will I let you eat that food they dare try to pass off as pasta! Che schifo!” Mrs. Carisi nearly shouted. “There is no reason to go back into the city. We have plenty to eat and then you and Sonny can get a good night’s rest before heading to Fort Wadsworth.”

You blinked and nodded. “Of course, I just don’t want to put you out,” you replied.

The stern look on Mrs. Carisi’s face softened. “Oh sweetheart, you know you’re family. You wouldn’t be doing any such thing.”

“Oh she’ll be something soon enough,” Bella giggled as she set the table. Sonny shot his sister a look, to which Bella ducked. Much to Sonny’s relief, you hadn’t heard the comment.

“Come doll, help me with the tomato and mozzarella salad,” Sonny replied, dragging you towards the kitchen.

***

Your belly was full of pasta and your heart was full as you snuggled into Sonny’s embrace. Sonny breathed in the scent of your hair before placing a kiss onto the top of your head.

“Sonny?” you questioned, half asleep.

“Yeah, doll?”

“Tomorrow is a big day.“

“It is,” Sonny acknowledged. “We have to be up early, so try to sleep.”

“Sonny?”

“Are you nervous?” you asked with a yawn.

“You have no idea.” Sonny replied, snuggling you closer to him, his limbs entwined with yours.

***

You shivered as you jumped up and down in the start village while you tried to keep warm. It was chilly out; a cold front had pushed through with high winds. You had layers upon layers on for the time being. The energy exuding from the other runners in the corral was contagious. For some runners, this was their first New York City marathon; for others, this was their fifth, or for some, their twentieth. You chatted with everyone, exchanging training stories. Veteran marathoners provided tips on the course, which you appreciated.

You and Sonny had a plan. You’d start off together, but he’d let you set the pace. He was much faster than you, but he didn’t want you to burn out quickly. Sonny promised he wouldn’t let you fall behind at any point; whatever breaks you needed, he’d slow down and wait for you.

You lit up as Sonny approached you with a cup of coffee. “I’m cold,” you bemoaned. “Ugh.”

“I know doll,” Sonny replied handing you a paper cup. You hummed in content as you placed the cup close to your face, the steam from the hot liquid proving a glimmer of inviting warmth. “Dunks was giving away hats, and I snagged you one.” Sonny placed an obnoxious pink and orange knit hat on your head.

You scrunched your face, nodding appreciatively. “Thanks noodle.”

***

26 miles, 385 yards. 42.195 kilometers. The marathon was a grueling, humbling beast. You were only in Staten Island briefly with the majority of the race taking place in Brooklyn and Queens, followed by Manhattan and briefly into the Bronx and then back into Manhattan.

The crowds were amazing, cheering all of the runners on. It felt as if it were a giant party and you and Sonny and the other runners were the special guests of honor.

You hit a rough patch around mile 10. You looked over at Sonny who barely seemed out of breath. You glanced at your watch, frowning as you noticed your pace slow. You noticed a water station and slowed down to walk through it. Sonny looked behind and noticed you off to the side, stretching your legs. He jogged back towards you.

“Hey, everything okay?” Sonny asked, grabbing some water.

You nodded, before shrugging. “This was a mistake. I’m not going to be able to finish. We have 16 miles left!”

Your eyes began to water. Sonny wiped the tear that began to trickle. “Y/N, we’ve got this.“

You sighed. “I am holding you back. Go on. I’ll meet you at the finish.”

Sonny shook his head. “We’ve trained for months. I am here every step of the way - we are going to cross that finish line together. I’m not leaving you behind.” Despite being next to you, Sonny had to nearly shout due to the sounds runners passing and cheering crowds.

You stared into Sonny’s bright blue eyes. They were as clear as the sky above you. You looked around and took a deep breath before nodding. “Okay babe.”

Shortly after mile 14, the two of you made the left and there was the Queensboro Bridge. After a couple of minutes of climbing, you let Sonny take the lead and you hung onto his heels. Every so often Sonny would look over his shoulder and you would give him a thumbs up to let him know you were okay.

And you were okay. Slightly out of breath and definitely working but really in control and strong. The bridge was quiet. No spectators. No cheers. Just the sound of your feet and your breathing.

Before you knew it, you were at the top and you saw the downhill ahead. And you and Sonny flew. You knew the wall of thunder was ahead and your heart began to race even more. At first the screams of the crowds were faint, but grew they louder as you both approached the exit to the bridge and the 16 mile mark. The roar of the crowds cheering at the bottom of the Queensboro Bridge gave you goosebumps.

“Oh my God!” You yelled at Sonny. “This is amazing.”

Sonny gave you a big toothy grin. “Just a 10 mile race now.”

You both continued to run and ticked off the mile-markers. You both ran up First Avenue, heading towards the Bronx. Just at the 135th Street bridge, you saw the mile 21 marker.

Sonny slowed down and walked through another water station. You followed suit, taking the moment to suck down an energy gel.

“How ya feeling?” Sonny asked, also gulping down a gel.

“Good, tired. But good. You?,” you asked. You tossed the used packets into a nearby trash can.

“Good. Nervous. But we’re almost done,” Sonny panted in between chugs of water.

Back running you two went, giving high fives to people in the crowds. The secreting crowd was four to five people deep. People shouted both of your names, encouraging you. You giggled at some of the signs people held up.

Back into Manhattan you went. Miles 23 through 25 ticked by easily. You were back in Central Park. It was time to climb again.

The spectators were out in force, cheering and cowbelling. Sonny was at your side. “We finish together, okay?”

You nodded, feeling your eyes water again. Sonny grabbed your hand and you both headed along the final mile at Central Park South. There was a nasty headwind but you felt the finish pull you in.

Immediately to your left, at the grandstand seating, you saw Sonny’s family and the SVU squad cheering.

You heard the announcers say you and Sonny’s name as both approached the finish. Arms were thrown in the air as you both crossed the finish line.

“Oh my God Sonny, we did it!” you shouted as you came to a stop. “Sonny?” You looked around, your eyes searching the crowd around you. “Sonny?”

You looked down and there was Sonny, at your feet, on bended knee.

Amanda materialized from the crowd and handed Sonny a little black velvet box. She glanced at you and winked. You opened your mouth to say something but found yourself speechless.

“Life and love - it’s a marathon. Not a sprint. Y/N, all I want to do is spend my life loving you and making you as happy as you make me. Will you marry me?”

You nodded. “Yes, of course, Sonny!”

The crowd erupted into a cheer as Sonny placed the ring on your finger. He stood and picked you up into a hug, slightly spinning as he did. You pressed a kiss on his lips.

“I love you Sonny,” you stated, near in tears.

“I love you so damn much doll,” Sonny replied.

A volunteer approached the two of you and placed medals around your neck. “Congratulations, on both!”

You smiled and looked at the medal around your neck and then at the ring on your finger.

The race might have ended but your forever with Sonny was just beginning.

FIN

[thelifeofm]

Contests Schmontests: a few thoughts

It’s that time of year again… AKA photo contest time. I wrote this post 5 years ago after judging POYi for the first time, and housed it on a blog I’ve long-since scrubbed clean. But figured it was worth reposting now since the same conversations are happening now about the winning images. 

----- Judging POYi is such a unique experience that I wanted to share some thoughts and insights with you. From February 2-6, 2015, AP Photo Editor Jacqueline Larma, South African photojournalist (and last year’s 2nd place POY portfolio winner) James Oatway, WIRED Magazine Director of Photography Patrick Witty and I looked at about 10,770 unique images at the University of Missouri’s 72nd annual POYi competition. 

We were judging the News Division — with categories ranging from Feature and Portrait to Human Conflict and Issue Reporting to Portfolio of the Year.

It was an incredible honor to look through the best pictures of the year to determine the VERY best. For me, the goal going into the week was not to not only recognize a very high level of work done this year, and give it a second life, but also to help establish the benchmark for the next year’s work. The magnitude of that task weighed heavily. And I guarantee you, it wasn't taken lightly.

One thing we kept returning to as a judging team was that, above all, this is a photojournalism competition. At its most basic level, the photography has to be there. The quality of the pictures is paramount.

We removed several really good pictures from the competition because of carelessness on the photographer’s part (or sometimes on the part of the entry coordinator — yes some publications actually still have people that enter contests for their staff — which amazes me). Small things like a dirty sensor, poor toning, low res images and crops that left lines or borders on the edges were difficult to get past. This contest is for Pictures of the Year. Before you enter, take a second to ensure there’s nothing detracting from your image.

On a higher plane, come the intangibles. What is this picture saying? Is it truthful? Does the photographer have a voice and a vision, are they moving photography forward with their image? It’s not enough to simply show up (f8 and be there), point, and shoot. When everyone with a camera phone fancies themselves a photographer, we have to set ourselves apart by approaching situations skillfully — photography is, after all, a craft.

Moments always weigh heaviest for me. But there are other elements like mood, composition, light, and what the photographer is trying to say, that we took into account as well. It’s not enough to show up, you have to bring something to the image as well.

That said, judging is a very subjective process. Put different judges on any year's contest jury, and the winners might be different. I think the phrase “best” isn’t necessarily a qualitative term, it’s a quantitative one. A majority of the judges have to agree that it's the best, not all...

We asked ourselves: which pictures resonate with us…. four people from totally different and diverse backgrounds. One thing that was obvious is that when you respect what the other judges bring to the table, it’s an incredibly fascinating process to go through. We talked about the pictures, a lot. You have to be able to articulate why something is good, not just that it is. 

But perhaps the biggest thing I learned from this process is that good judging is about compromise and consensus. It’s not a perfect process, no contest is, but when done right... it’s incredibly fair. Ultimately, the other three judges and I had the utmost respect for the work we were looking at, and wanted the best of the best to be recognized. 

I say that because I got text messages, emails and phone calls after judging was over asking why a certain story didn’t win, or a certain issue not rise up and be recognized. And the bottom line is this: it's hard to second-guess judging because it doesn't come down to one person's opinion... it comes down to a collective vote by just a handful of people that you've put your trust into.

I'll also say this: you can only judge the work that’s there against other work that’s there. I know that there was some powerful work done in 2014 that wasn’t entered. I know that we saw better pictures of certain events or moments on the wires or newspapers, but that work wasn’t entered. You can’t judge a best of anything contest against the ideal stuck in your head — that’s not fair. You have to weigh the strengths and weaknesses of what’s on the screen in front of you — the end. (On a side note: I hate contests that refuse to award a 1st place, and just give a 2nd and 3rd... It's a contest of, the year, you judge what's there. Because that's the best of what you've got. Period.)

Issue Reporting story was, in my mind, one of the strongest categories this year. And it was my favorite to judge. It shows how deeply people are digging in their own backyards to tell important stories.

Brad Vest’s look at the residents of a Memphis Housing project took us inside this place, put a face on the people there, had heart, and a beautiful aesthetic. The pacing and editing of it really felt like every picture pushed the narrative forward a little bit more, adding something to the story. Lisa Krantz’s story on obesity took us inside the life of San Antonio’s Hector Garcia. It had intimacy and depth. It told an important story about a powerful issue and did so with beauty and dignity for the subject. And notice how both of those photographers also had winning portfolios, because those issues, those in-depth stories, those important and incredible moments, carried them through.

The Staten Island Ferry Portrait Series that placed second resonated with me for the same reason: it’s such a good reminder that you don’t always have to go far or seek out the exotic to make interesting and compelling images.

Feature Picture Story was (again, in my mind, I’m not speaking for the other judges here) one of the weakest categories. It felt like a dumping ground for event coverage, for collections of images photographers were lumping together, for fluff that lacked both substance and style. Without purpose, 12 pretty photos from the State Fair do not a picture story make. Make those pretty images, but then ask yourself what you’re trying to say about this place, these people, this thing… AND FIND A WAY TO SAY IT. The feature stories that won, did so deservingly — especially the first place winner which is a quiet, yet almost lyrical way of telling a story. Different, yet emotive. Powerful, yet thoughtful. But the drop off was steep after the ones that placed.

Before we began judging the Newspaper Portfolio round, contest coordinator Rick Shaw reminded us that there’s no such thing as a perfect portfolio. And he’s right. Although some portfolios came close, ultimately, picking a winner came down to weighing the strengths and weaknesses of a body of work. For me, stories held more weight in the portfolio, because that’s really when you get to see a photographer’s strengths: how they work through a story, how they edit it, how their ideas translate into moments. And then how do the singles back this up?

It helps to look at things in a grid form, all together in a contact sheet, to see how things not only look, but feel, as a group. Are there any clunkers that are bringing it down? Is there a frame there that because of aesthetic or approach feels like it was shot by a different photographer? Are you putting a weak sports or spot news photo into your portfolio to fill a hole or is it really necessary and does it add to the work? It’s definitely given me a lot to think about when assembling my own portfolio for future contests.

The state of the newspaper industry is lousy right now. With layoffs and buyouts, losing experience and expertise hurts. I saw that come through in the editing time-and-time again. There were stories and portfolios that were too long, redundant, or full of too many pointless unnecessary photos. Those we eliminated. It sucks thinking, this is a great photographer… if only they had a good editor.

But the winners give me some hope for the industry. There’s no question that there’s still some amazing work out there by photographers who are findings ways to get it done. There are brave photographers willing to risk their lives to make images that show us the suffering, brutality and inhumanity of conflict. There are inspiring and innovative photographers who are finding new and different ways to make images. And there are concerned photographers digging deeper into their own communities to shed a light on the darkness.

Contests aren’t perfect. And entering them isn’t either. Just because a set of judges doesn’t pick an image doesn’t mean it’s bad. It just means it didn’t resonate with those judges in that place on that day. 

And if you win something and have a photo that places, congratulations. It’s a feather in your cap, a pat on the back and hopefully some validation to take back to your bosses to remind them why we need the time and space to do what we do.

The opportunity to see how your own work stands up to the work that’s being chosen is a learning experience. And if your work’s not quite there this year, you know where the bar has been set. Hopefully it’s a motivator more than a deterrent. More than anything though, what I hope people get out of contests is the conversations they spark. The debates about photos are healthy, as long as they’re constructive.

And with all that said: the most important thing to remember is judging is incredibly subjective and it depends on a lot of factors coming together and aligning perfectly — one of the biggest being luck.

[svubloods]

Imagine being High School Sweethearts with Jamie

(A/N: Happy new year everyone. Sorry, the first imagine of new year sucks so badly and is so messy. Wrote it over three weeks to be honest so like I apologise but I hope you find something enjoyable)

Imagine being High School Sweethearts with Jamie

Staten Island, New York, Sixteen Years Ago

You played nervously with the hem of your dress, biting your lip as you looked up and down both ways of the street, the bright lights of the movie theatre illuminating it on this particular dark winter evening. Tapping your foot impatiently with gritted teeth as you wrapped your arms around yourself in an attempt to battle the harsh breeze.

Were you early or was he late you thought to yourself, you hadn’t been worried about tonight until that moment, in fact, you had been excited but now you couldn’t ignore the creeping feeling of worry that seemed to be pooling in the pit of your stomach. Maybe he had only been joking, maybe he had a change of heart, maybe… You were being crazy, he’d be here soon. You had been fine all day, in fact, you’d been excited all day, basically unable to do anything but watch the clock, waiting for tonight. As embarrassing as it was to admit you had been waiting for tonight for so long and now after believing for so long that it wouldn’t happen, it was happening.

“Wow,” A voice behind you breathed, snapping you out of your thought and causing to whirl around in its direction so fast that your hair and skirt flew with you.

Once you did, you found Jamie standing there, a large smile spread across your face. He seemed to relax once you did, returning it shyly as he shoved his hands and his pockets.  He was wearing dark skinny jeans with a matching thin blazer, with a checkered shirt and loose skinny black tie. You gulped at the sight of him so dressed up as it rarely happened but you always loved when it did. He always did look better when he was wearing anything other than his usual football gear or jerseys, though you couldn't really blame him for that, considering he was apart of the of the football team…tipped to be captain when the current one graduates…

“Y/N?”

“Hmm?” You responded, looking up to meet Jamie’s slightly confused gaze as once again you were pulled from your spiralling thoughts back to reality.

“I said you looked amazing,” He repeated, a helpless but easy grin on his as he took you in once again.

You rolled your eyes purposely at him in an effort to look relaxed, brushing off his compliment as a wave of insecurity flooded your senses. Remembering how you had hardly given a second thought to what you were wearing, you had just pulled on the off the shoulder, fitted, green skater dress that your mom had bought for you one time but you hadn’t ever worn it till today. And you had paired it with black sneakers without thinking. But you hadn't been nervous then as it seemed to be a good idea but now you were questioning it. You must have looked like an idiot, you wear heels with a dress like this not sneakers. If only you could walk in them properly.

The conversation between you and Jamie flowed as you discussed the movie you were going to see and your dinner plans for after as you had both mutually decided after he asked you out that you would do a movie and then dinner instead of dinner and a movie. For no reason other than you wanted to see what it would be like.

Why were you so nervous all of sudden, you thought to yourself. You weren’t a nervous person normally, sure you got butterflies occasionally but never liked this. If you weren’t so controlled and focused on acting normal you probably would have been shaking.

It was just Jamie. Just normal ordinary Jamie…your Jamie. You had never ever been nervous around him, it was always the opposite. He put you at ease, made you feel that you could be yourself.

Even now, he was still so cool and easy going. You should tell he was slightly nervous himself but excited. He was his normal self, friendly, engaging but cautious and reserved with his air of silent confidence clearly apparent. While you felt like you had to pretend to act like yourself or he would know you were nervous or think something was wrong. But nothing was wrong, it was the best it had ever been.

You hadn't been nervous when you met, became friends even when he finally asked you out. You were excited when he did. You had been waiting for it for so long.

And it now it was here, finally.

Your first date…and you were terrified.

Manhattan, New York, Modern Day

“I don’t know why we’re talking about this right now, J,” You sighed, rubbing your temples in an exaggerated manner.

“Well, it’s the only other time I could think of when you were nervous,” He admitted, a cautious smile on his face as he watched over you, his concern evident.

“So you think that you can ease my anxiety by reminding me of the other time I was so nervous that I wanted to throw up,” You countered, sinking lower in your seated position, utterly confused by what his plan was with this.

“Were you really that nervous on our first date?” He questioned, raising an inquiring eyebrow at you as he sat comfortably in his own chair.

You let out a breath and shook his head at him but you couldn't help but smile as you did before glancing back up at him, “Yes, couldn’t you tell?”

He leaned forward and made a point to look directly at you while clasping his hands while surely saying, “No.”

“No?”

“No,” He repeated, “To be honest up until we talked about it last time and you told me that you were nervous I thought I was the nervous wreck,”

“Well, you usually are,” You commented, teasingly.

“Anyway,” He insisted unamused, rolling his eyes before continuing, “My point was to get you to think what you did to stop being nervous then,”

“That’s not going to help,” You pouted, “Sure, I was nervous but I was only nervous for around five minutes before I realised that even if it was our first date we were still just Y/N and Jamie we just happened to be on our first date. Plus, I was so excited to watch that movie,”

“Really?” He asked.

“Really,”

“Well, I was definitely nervous that day,” Jamie admitted.

“Oh, I know,” You chuckled.

“No, it was different, you know?” He elaborated, “The whole night all I could think about was when to make the right, making sure that you enjoying yourself and that I wasn't pushing you too far because part of me worried that you didn't like me as much as I liked you,” 

“God, you were a wreck,” You giggled, “You weren’t that obvious though,”

“I wasn’t?” He inquired, intrigued.

“I knew something was up with you but I didn't guess it was that,” You confessed, “Were you like that on all the first dates you’d been on,”

“Honestly?”

You nodded.

“No,” He admitted.

“Really?” You questioned, unconvinced.

He nodded, “I only had two other first dates before you and sure I was nervous but it wasn't the same. With you I was an absolute mess, my Dad and Grandpa had to give me a speech to calm me down saying that I was only nervous because it was you,”

“Because I’m just terrifying, right?” You commented.

“No,” He corrected, “Because I knew it would be my last ever first date,”

Your rolled your eyes and flopped heavily and uncomfortably back into your seat, “I hate it when you do that,”

“Do what?” He demanded, taken aback.

“Be all romantic like that, it gets annoying,” You elaborated, crossing your arms and glaring.

“You love it, really,” He winked, from his seated position opposite you.

You stuck your tongue out in response and continued to rub circles into the side of your temples as you both continued to wait, your anxiety rising with every passing moment.

Staten Island, New York, Sixteen Years Ago

Your eyes flickered to Jamie, who was sitting beside you. You furrowed your eyebrows as you watched him silently shift in his seat and you could see this despite the darkness of the movie theatre. You looked back at the vast screen, in front of you both. You knew Jamie hated horror movies but the current scene wasn't even scary. So why does he look so uncomfortable, you thought to yourself.

“Jamie,” You whispered, keeping your voice low by bowing your head and leaning even closer in his direction.

“Hmm?” He responded, jerkily, looking back at you instead of staring blankly at the space in front of him or the big screen infant of you both.

“You all right J?” You whispered, still watching him carefully trying to figure out what was going on with him and why he was acting so nervous.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” He tried to reassure but you saw straight through his quick flash smile and false promise.

You continued to analyse him, your narrow eyes filled with scrutiny. Glancing down at the armrests you noticed his hand fidgeting beside yours. You frowned and looked back up at him, his eyes had gone back to staring at the screen but he didn't seem to be watching. You were instantly filled with guilt.

“I’m sorry, Jamie,” You whispered, leaning in even closer this time, keeping your voice hushed, your lips only a few inches from his ear, “I shouldn't have suggested agreed to see this movie. I knew you hated horror films but I said yes anyway,”

“Why are you apologising?” He countered, pulling back slightly so he could turn to face you directly, “I suggested this movie,” 
 “But you only did it because I love horror movies,” You insisted, grabbing his hand and giving it tight squeeze.

You noted how sweaty and tense his hand felt, which you knew it often did when he was nervous, it made you feel even worse so you clung on tightly to reassure him. Strangely enough, as you laced your fingers together there seemed to be instantaneous ease. His palm seemed to clasp yours perfectly and Jamie’s shoulders eased.

A genuine smile appeared on his face, his eyes flickering from your hands back to your face, “Don’t worry about it, Y/N/N. I wanted you to enjoy yourself,”

“Still,” You sighed, “We don’t have to stay,”

You felt his grasp on your hand tighten, “I don’t want to be anywhere else,”

You both grinned at each other sheepishly, you were thankful that the darkened theatre hid the redness you could feel spreading across your cheeks. You could feel that initial giddiness you had felt earlier in the evening as you settled back into your seat and looked back at the screen.

Everything seemed to settle to how they had been moments ago but your hands remained interlocked, a comfortable silence falling over you both only to be interrupted by the axe-wheeling killer appearing on the screen. Jamie jumped before scrambling to compose himself but you still caught it. You chuckled at him, unfazed by it yourself. He glared at you, unamused, his eyes still dilated by the shock as he quickly snapped his head in your direction. It seemed like he was about to say something but he stopped himself, his eyes falling to your lips as you both realised how close you really were.

You smiled before quickly kissing his cheek.

“I’ll protect you,” You promised teasingly, so close to his ear that you felt him shiver after you spoke.

He nudged you playfully, before rolling his eyes and leaning over to steal your popcorn. You swotted his hand but he continued to take a huge handful. Popping some into his mouth before sticking his tongue at you. He looked much more relaxed and content as the movie continued to play and you continued to hold each other's hand comfortably in the darkness.

Manhattan, New York, Modern Day

“Just relax, Y/N,” Jamie soothed, still sitting opposite you, genuine concern fixed onto his features. 

“…I don’t think I can,” You confessed, as the time had continued to pass, and the deadline was approaching steadfast and as it did the more nervous you got.

The light-hearted atmosphere Jamie had tried to maintain disappeared almost immediately after that. The combination of the look in your eye, the expression on your face and his knowledge of you after seventeen years of knowing each other, tipped him off. You weren't worried anymore, you were terrified. And you don't think you’d ever been this bad before.

“Hey…hey…” Jamie began, jumping out of his seat and walking over to yours.

He clasped your hands in his as he kneeled in front of you. You blinked away tears, not looking at him in the eye as he continued to watch you worriedly. A tense silence passed between the two of you.

“Do you remember when we first met?” He suddenly asked, looking up at you.

“This isn't the time, Jamie!” You snapped, reluctant to go on another trip down memory lane, your mind was preoccupied enough.

“Do you trust me?” He asked.

You sucked in an long irritated breath, unsure of what he was doing, still, but you had to admit, “Yes,”

“Then trust me,” He chuckled.

You glared at him evidently, “Fine,”

“So do you remember?” He probed.

“Which one?” You smirked, easing up ever so slightly.

“You know which one,” He stated pointedly, “All I did was make eye contact with you the first time as I walked passed,”

“And yet it was so memorable that you recognised me later on,” You reminded.

He rolled his eyes before squeezing your hand, “Humor me,”

“My Grandma and I had just moved Staten Island in the middle of Freshman year. You were a Sophomore and one of the most poplar guys in school. And of course the first thing I did when I started that first day was join the Newspaper.” You began to retell, giving in and reminiscing.

“But?” He prompted.

“The editor at the time was an ass who didn't want to take on a newbie freshman so he said he’d take me only if I wrote an article about the Football teams rising star yours truly and get it to him by the end of the day,” You continued, “Only problem was that it was still my first day and I didn't know where to find you. By the time I did it was almost the end of the day and you were in the middle of practise. I tried to get your attention but you were distracted so I decided to make you listen and answer my question,” 
 “And how did you do that?” He asked, obviously already knowing the answer, but amusement lit up his features all the same.

“I tackled you,” You chuckled, finally breaking out into a smile as you remembered that day.

Staten Island, New York, Seventeen Years Ago

“What the…?” Jamie spluttered as you both landed hard on the grass, though he broke most of you fall.

“Hi!” You said, brightly, lifting your head up, your face inches away from your own.

“It’s you,” He responded, his eyes flickering in recognition as he registered your face.

“Have we already met?” You questioned, thinking back through all the people you had met and had been introduced to that day but you failed to remember meeting him.

“No, I saw you this morning on my way to school,” He clarified.

“Oh,” You nodded, “Well anyway I’m Y/N Y/L/N,”

“I’m Jamie Reagan but I have a feeling you already knew that,” He chuckled, his eyes not wavering from yours.

“I did but it’s nice to know I tackled the right person,” You commented.

“About that…why did you tackle me exactly?” He questioned, both of you forgetting the compromising position you were in, lying on top of him and the crowd that was starting to form around you both.

“I was wondering if you could answer some questions for the school newspaper?” You confessed.

“Right now?”

“I’m sort of on a deadline,” You shrugged, “I asked the coach if I could borrow you for a bit but he said after practice so I decided to end practice early,”

“You really need to interview me?” He asked.

“My place on the paper sort of depends on it,” You admitted.

“I’m guessing that’s important to you,”  He figured, raising an eyebrow.

“Important enough to tackle a complete stranger in public in front of what the whole school on the first day,” You reiterated.

“Speaking of tackling…We should probably get up,” He reminded.

You suddenly blushed as you remembered how close your faces were and the fact that your bodies were pressed together. You quickly stood up and dusted yourself as Jamie seemed to disperse the crowd around you with a simple look. And though you weren't embarrassed you did it as you needed that spot on the paper you continued to blush up until his gaze fell back to you. Then you tried to control yourself and remain professional, flashing him a nervous smile.

He looked down at you, still sweaty from the game, his eyes bright in the dimming sunlight of the late afternoon. And for the first time, you experience his radiance of friendless and his ability to make people at ease just by being there. You were captivated, to say the least, and if you hadn't been so preoccupied with getting your assignment done perhaps you would have been even more overwhelmed in your first meeting with the man who you now had no doubt was your soulmate.

“Alright, I’ll do it,” He agreed finally ending the silence between the two of you, “On one condition though,”

“Yeah, what’s that?” You inquired, folding your arms in intrigue as you both began to walk to the bleachers for some more privacy after Jamie began leading the way.

“For every question, you ask me. I get to ask you a question,” He responded, watching you carefully, waiting for a response.

“Easy. Done.” You agreed straight away, without thinking, sticking your hand for a handshake.

“It’s a deal then,” He laughed, grasping your hand.

“Deal,” You concurred, shaking his hand before tugging it and asking, “But can I ask why?”

“Only if I get my question after,” He teased before responding to your inquiry, “I don’t know. I just get the feeling that’s more to you than meets the eye,”

“I get the same feeling,” You confessed truthfully.

“Then shall we get started?” He winked before stepping aside to let you sit on the bleachers.

You spent the next hour exchanging questions jumping from Jamie and the school football team to you and your recent move to Staten Island and more specifically to the house a couple doors down from his with your Grandma from Los Angeles where your parents were based. You learned a lot about each other and you got the impression that it would have lasted longer if you didn't have to leave to actually write the article before your deadline.

After that, you began seeing Jamie on your way to school. In fact, it seemed that whenever you were about to leave the house to head to school, Jamie would be walking by and you walk together. He was in the grade above you so walking to and from school was the only time you saw him alone. But as your friendship grew and became stronger you started to hang out in school as well whenever you weren't with your other groups of friends that you had made. Jamie had definitely made settling in easier. Like you said he could put anyone at ease and everyone seemed to like him. He got along with everyone but what was happening between the two of you was definitely different.

You quickly became best friends much to the whole school's speculation. Before you got together there were always rumours about the two of you, it was a popular topic due to Jamie’s status as the star of the football team and overall golden boy. But until you figured out how you really felt about him, you only ever saw him as your best friend. It had surprised you how quickly you had trust Jamie and your friendship had formed. You’d always been guarded with yourself but outwardly fearless and effortless confident particularly when it came to your dream by being a reporter. The only thing you had ever wanted to do. But when you were together you realised there was more to life than achieving your goal. There was this middle part, the journey there, and you were allowed to enjoy it. You pushed each other's boundaries, challenged each other as you came from drastically different backgrounds family-wise, but you had similar interests, both crazy smart and ambitious.

It was about six months after your first meeting that you realised you liked him and saw him as more than your best friend. And it was six months after that he had asked you out on a date and confessed that he saw you in the same way. Jamie liked to say you were born without shame and that their was nothing you would never try once which was true for most things. But you knew that if he hadn't asked you out first than you might never had told him.

Because even though now he was the worrier in the relationship. You had overthought everything and you were afraid to take the plunge, as you were afraid to loose it all. So Jamie had to do it and when he did. It always ended up okay.

Manhattan, New York, Modern Day

“That was a good day,” You sighed, grinning helplessly at the memory, “Still don't understand why we’re talking about right now though,”

“Because,” You began to explain, “That day we first met shows that when it comes to what you want you have no hesitation. You tackled me because you needed to get a story to get that place on the School Newspaper because you knew it would help you get you to where you wanted to go. From the day I met you, all you’ve wanted to be a respected reporter and that’s who you became. No hesitation. No fear. Just determination. Just drive. And today you need that because five minutes your dream is going to come true. You’ve arrived and yeah it’s scary but you haven't been afraid so why start now?”

“You’re right,” You nodded with a new found determination, standing up and dusting yourself, “I am ready for this. I always have been. I’m going to present my story on national TV and I’m going to kill it!”

“Hell you are!” Jamie cheered, pulling you in for fierce kiss, grabbing you by the face and cupping your cheeks.

You pulled away resting against each others forehead, still grinning the same nervous smiles from back when you were teens.

“Hey,” You breathed.

“Hmm,” Jamie panted, breathless, biting his lip as his eyes still gazed at yours.

“Do you remember our first kiss?” You asked.

“After our first date. On your porch after we walked home form the restaurant. You had to kiss me because I was too nervous to kiss you first,” He recalled.

Staten Island, New York, Sixteen Years Ago

Are we going to kiss? You thought to yourself as you made your way up your path towards your front door, still holding hands in a comfortable silence.

Since the movie and as the night progressed you both more comfortable grabbing the others hand and holding hands. It was the only gesture that was different from all your other trips to movies together perviously and the only the thing that made it feel like a date bar the unease and the nervousness that had seemingly consumed the two of you.

“I guess this is me,” You said as you both stopped at your front door.

“Yeah,” Jamie nodded, clearly nervous, shoving his hands deep inside his pockets as he continued to avoid your gaze directly.

“So…”

“So…”

“I had a lot of fun tonight…” You began. 

“Did you really?” Jamie questioned, interrupting, clearly worried about it, “I thought you may have found it weird or uncomfortable and thought we might be better off as friends,”

“No, no,no,” You reassured, “I had fun and tonight felt…right,”

“Yeah, it did,” Jamie agreed, easing up as you locked eyes, “Maybe we should do it again?”

“I’d love that,” You smiled, stepping forward to take his hand and give it a reassuring squeeze.

“Good,” He breathed, though his breath seemingly got caught in his throat as the distance between you lessened.

It was a hesitant as you both began to lean in ever so slightly. Neither of you breathing, as you continued to wait for the other to take the lead.

“I should go, our curfew is in a few minutes,” Jamie let out shakily, though he made no effort to move, still staring at your lips, holding himself back reluctantly as if he was waiting for a sign that you were okay.

“Before you go,” You sighed and grabbed his face and pulled him closer, mustering up all your courage and disregarding any worries to do so, you kissed him.

Closing the gap. The pressure was hesitant at first but you both soon let up, the kiss deepening as he wrapped his arms around you and your hands raked through his chair. It was neither of yours first ever kiss but it was the only one that mattered and in that moment it was so exciting that it might as well been. Your first kiss made the world disappear as it was only the two of you, a feeling that hadn’t faded, even sixteen years later.

“That’s enough kids!” A voice called from the street, causing you both to spring apart.

You both looked at the street to see Danny and Linda obviously coming back from a date of their own. They were both giggling as you and Jamie blushed a deep red.

“What the hell Danny?” Jamie shouted back.

“What we’re here to pick you up. It’s midnight after all,” Danny excused, knowing pull well you both had to be home for twelve.

“We live two doors down!”

Manhattan, New York, Modern Day

“As fearless as ever,” Jamie commented.

You were about to respond when you were interrupted.

“Miss Y/L/N. We’re ready for you,” The PA announced opening the door to speak and holding it open indicating for you to follow.

“This is it,” You breathed, a fearless calm overcoming you as you took one final breath before flashing an award winning not to mention television worthy smile.

“Knock em dead, babe,” Jamie winked, pressing one final encouraging kiss to your lips.

“With you by my side or in my dressing room, how can I not?” You beamed.

“I love you Y/N, ever since you tackled me on that football field,” Jamie promised as you began to walk out.

“I love you too, J ever since…” You began only to be cut off by the PA’s dragging you away.

“We’ll figure it out after,” Jamie called after you, lightheadedly as you got ready to step on stage and be fearless. 

[thatlittlered]

Autumn Brings Change | Part Two

Previously on ‘Autumn Brings Change’.

The next couple hours are spent chatting - endless, pointless rambling on each of your parts. Gina especially can't seem to shut her mouth but Sonny's attention is all on you and the way your face moves every time you swallow another bite of your pecan pie.

The ice cream on top has your mouth watering and he smiles at that.

His sister keeps talking as if she's making up for lost time, saying things that you already know considering you never lost touch with her. She speaks of the newest additions to his close-tied family and all that's happened in the last five years. 

Five whole years. Has it really been that long?

It doesn't feel like it, certainly. Not with you sitting across him and devouring pie like it's still the summer of 2012 and you're lounging in the back of the Carisi garden. 

“You shaved off the moustache.” 

“Yeah, I did." he nods and a smile is plastered on his face when he addresses you, "Figured it was time for a change.”

“I like it.” yours is a sweet smile, almost a grin. You're watching him closely, yet you find no shame in that.

There are greying bits at his temples, but he still looks the same. It’s both strange and comforting - like nothing has changed.

You're lost in each other for the longest time and Gina knows that. Her smile is knowing and the way she clears her voice makes you flush.

”So, thoughts on New York? It’s quite a change from Staten Island.”

Gina’s question catches you halfway through a bite of your pie and you can only guess how weird you look with your mouth full and your eyes wide at the sudden change of subject. Not exactly ladylike, if you’re being honest.

“It’s nice, I guess. Kinda scary though, I’m still getting used to the traffic.”

Sonny huffs, “Good luck with that.”

Gina’s quick to slap his arm, “Sonny! You can’t disparage your own city. Besides, traffic’s not all there is to New York. All these people, the fun you can have. We still haven’t introduced you to the nightlife.”

“First of all, it’s not my city. I just moved here ‘cause of work. Secondly, yes the traffic is what defines this city. But I gotta agree with you on the ‘fun’ part. That’s if you have time.” Sonny scoffs and the grimace on his face tells you he doesn’t.

He really doesn’t have time.

“Well, I got plenty time so I’m counting on you two to show me around.” 

“Pft, like Mr.Detective over there can show you anything. Maybe drive you around some precincts but that’s as far as Sonny’s knowledge of New York goes.”

“Wow, I’m feelin’ the love today, Gina. Thanks.” Sonny’s drawl is sarcastic but Gina grins wide with pride. 

You missed the teasing, all the remarks and scowls. You missed this.

“You’re welcome, sweet brother.” the blonde blows him a kiss and he chuckles.

There’s a phone ring and Sonny jumps, instinctively reaching for his own despite the tune that sounds nothing like the Beatles’ classic ‘Hey Jude’ that he’s had as a ringtone for a good seven years - perhaps more.

Gina sighs and grabs at her bag, nearly emptying its contents just to find her phone. “Hello?”

Muffled talk is all there is and Sonny’s attention is all on you. He wants to say you look beautiful but all words fail him so he just gives up. He won’t go down that road, not again.

You’re a childhood friend - that’s all there is to it.

“Your haircut looks nice.” Nice? You look gorgeous. It’s like time’s the artist and you’re a painting in progress still - each day more complete and beautiful.

You thank him quietly, for you’re lost in his eyes. They used to be ocean blue and clear skies but they’ve changed. The way the sky fills with fog in New York and waters cloud when it’s too cold.

He’s seen so much since he came here, you think. It makes your heart ache.

Sonny’s eyes are on you all the same but neither dares speak.

Gina saves you again by interrupting and a sigh of relief escapes you. Sonny hears.

“Shit, I gotta go. They called in from work and they need me. Bunch of interns messed up again and I gotta clean up their mess.”

“You think you’ll be done in time for tonight?” you watch as she picks up her stuff and throws on her coat in a hurry.

“Girl, I wouldn’t miss it for the world. ‘Wine Boulevard’, Eight o’clock, right?”

You nod and steal a kiss on your blond friend’s cheek. 

“I’ll try not to get lost.”

She laughs and turns to Sonny, “Eight o’clock. Be there.”

“I will.”

Her blue eyes narrow and meet his, her finger pointing at him rather accusingly, “Eight o’clock. Not a minute late.”

Sonny frowns but there’s a quirk of his lips that tells you he’s not quite that bothered by his sister’s antics.

“Fine, I’ll be right on time. Just go!”

With that, the blonde disappears outside and the door and soon she's one with the fading crowds buzzing outside the diner's windows. The two of you are in left in silence after that.

Due to what you can't tell, but perhaps it's pure awkwardness. Perhaps it's your nerves. Or perhaps it's just the fact that you don't know what to say anymore.

So you stare at your phone screen instead and Sonny's rather busy glancing anywhere but you. The restaurant is full as he looks around at the busy tables. An old couple eating side by side, one glass of wine each, studiously bent over their large meals. A group of young woman on his left are only now collecting their stuff to leave after one of them suggested coffee.

Oh yes, coffee. Coffee sounds good to him right now.

"Got anywhere to be for the next couple hours?" Sonny's question breaks the painful silence and you let out a breath of relief at that. 

You laugh and glance at the lack of incoming texts on your phone.

"I'm all yours."

A/N: Oh my gosh, you guys. I feel so blessed that you liked this ‘cause I wanted to continue the series so badly. Already working on part three. Woohoo! Also, let me know if you wanna be tagged (I suck at it, you have been warned.)

Part Two requested by these lovelies: 

@thehybridsqueen I want to see part 2 :)

@soldierwinterthe Of course I want it! I can't wait to read the second part :D

@padacockles-pie Fuxk yes, part two pls

@reidreader Fuck yeah part 2!

@object-of-my-desire Definitely need a part 2!

[ontherockswithsalt]

The Morning After - a Jamie/Noble something

A/N: I’m so sad it’s over! I’ve grown attached to these losers. I hope you enjoy the conclusion to this little ~experience~. Please know that the headcanon never ends. I might possibly post this in full somewhere. Enjoy! ——————

“Holy shit,” I mumble into the pillow beneath my face. 

The sound of a garbage truck backing up outside pounds in my temples like this relentless horrible demon noise that might possibly make my head explode.

It takes considerable effort to even open my eyes. When I do, I focus on the sliver of light between the heavy closed drapes at the window – some window I don’t recognize. The way the bed faces, the feel of the sheets, the faint airy breeze from the ceiling fan – it’s all unfamiliar.

Noble. I crashed at Noble’s penthouse last night – shit.

Sucking in a breath, I shift quickly to survey the other side of the bed. It’s still mostly made, the covers barely pulled back. It was just me in here.

Closing my eyes, I attempt to piece together the night before. The moments just sort of fade in and out of my brain. Considering my miserable head, the bed feels incredible. I want so badly to just roll over and go back to sleep but I’m too disoriented about what time it is.

Eventually, I ease myself up. Glancing down in foggy confusion, I see I’m in my white t-shirt and boxers from the night before. 

My curiosity about Noble’s current state is what draws me out of bed. With dead tired limbs and a pounding head, I slowly make my way out from the covers and head to the bathroom.

Afterward, and feeling somewhat alive, I stop back in the room and pull on my jeans before making my way out into the apartment.

The kitchen mess from the night before remains. Empty wine bottles and glasses on the counter, dishes and pans in the sink. With the room so quiet, it takes me a moment to find Noble. 

Through the window across the way, I spot him out on the balcony. Lazily scratching the back of my head, I join him out the open door.

He sits in the same chair from last night, in loose dark sweats and a soft grey t-shirt. But it’s the black-framed glasses on his face that sort of destroy me.

“Hey.” A smile tilts across his lips when he notices me and sets a folded newspaper on the table. “He lives.”

I laugh softly and take a seat in the other chair. “Hey.”

“How’re you feeling?”

“I’m making it.” Although really I feel like my head is about to fall off but don’t want to acknowledge that a bottle of wine messed me up that bad.

“You want some coffee?” He nods to the table where a tray sits with a French press, an extra mug, cream and a glass dish of sugar. “Room service brought that, but I can order you whatever.”

“Yeah, no this is perfect.” I sit up and reach for the mug, pouring myself a therapeutic cup. “So… thanks for letting me crash,” I tell him.

“Of course.”

“I don’t even remember getting in bed. Did I like… I kept it pretty together last night, right?”

Dragging his teeth across his lip, a smile breaks there and he laughs at me. 

“I didn’t puke off your balcony or anything did I?”

“No.” Amused, he shakes his head, reaching for his coffee mug. “You didn’t puke off the balcony.”

“Alright, good.”

“I mean, we made out for a while last night, but I figure you remember that.”

My hand stalls as I lift my coffee and flick my gaze his way. I can feel the way one eyebrow slopes, confusion flashing in my eyes. “What–?”

“Dude, I’m kidding.”

The air feels trapped in my chest for an eternity before I finally let it escape.

“Damn,” he laughs. “No, we were out here and then you were pretty done so we went inside. I pointed you to that room and then I crashed in my own room.”

A soft laugh of relief escapes me and I ease back in the chair. I hesitate because it doesn’t seem too far off that I would have kissed him. The thought had floated through my mind since I sat in my apartment contemplating his penthouse key. 

“Well.” I let a warm sip of strong coffee work to reconnect parts of my brain. It settles the unease in the pit of my chest and helps bring me back to life. “Regardless. I had fun, man.”

“Me too. It’s been a long time since I had a night like that.”

“Hey the night before, you had a pool party with a bunch of half naked twenty year olds, so last night was probably pretty boring for you.”

“I told you, Officer, that wasn’t my party.”

A smirk tugs at my cheek. “Whatever.”

“And I’ve never had a boring night with you,” he reminds me.

I think back to the nights I spent with him when I was undercover, the near-O.D., the retribution in the back of some shady bar that he brought me along for, the night at his uncle’s club where I almost got thrown into the back of an Escalade and offed for good. But none of that was genuine. I was on the job.

I nod, sniffing a laugh over the rim of my mug. “You’re right about that.”

“But last night was actually you, so. I’d say it was my favorite.”

“It definitely was.”

He lazily stretches back, then pushes up his glasses before scratching fingers through his mess of curls. “So what’s a day in the life of Officer Jamie Reagan? What are you up to today?”

“Well I’ll probably go home and sleep in the shower until my tour tonight. But on most days, I’m not hungover.”

“What are most days like?”

I shrug. “Work. Hit the gym. And then not much,” I admit. “I don’t know. Hang out at home.”

“You live by yourself?”

“Yeah.”

“You have family in the city?”

“My sister.” I nod. “Dad back in Bay Ridge–”

He recalls the time he was brought to my father’s house where I made an offer for his testimony. “Right.”

“I’ve got a brother in Staten Island.”

He blinks this sort of far away look, nodding slowly, then glances out to the cityscape in front of us.

“What have you got going on today?”

“I head back.” Then he leans over and picks up his phone off the table where he checks the time. “My flight leaves out of JFK at one.”

The reality of him leaving sinks through me. I don’t know why this heartsick tug exists in my chest but it does, even though I know leaving is his only option. What would we even do if he stayed in New York anyway?

“Back to the Nick Salcedo life,” he sighs.

A sad half smile curves on my face and I sip from my coffee again. “I’ll have to come down and hang with Nick some time.”

“You should. You like Cuban food?”

“I’m not sure.”

“I know the best places.”

“Of course you do.”

“You’ve got the beach, palm trees, it’s beautiful. All the houses look like Easter eggs. I recommend it.”

I nod thoughtfully. “I hear the landscapers are cute down there.”

He blows out this laugh, caught off guard and the smile on his face as he shakes his head charms me. “God, you’re a jerk. Don’t do that to me.”

“Do what?” I tease a knowing glance his way. It’s cruel and unexplored territory for both of us, but it felt good to flirt with him. Like a sweet torture I would pay for later.

“Make me… regret everything more than I already do,” he says.

I wonder if I had regrets. If I’d never agreed to be a part of that undercover, I wouldn’t have gotten in so deep to begin with. “I know,” I murmur. “I don’t want you to have regrets.”

“I know the other night you said we weren’t friends, but. Maybe we can be.”

I look over him and offer a slight nod. “You’d have to give me your number. Or you can just… keep showing up in New York and having loud parties and hope I come shut them down.”

He grins. “No, I want your phone number. And if Officer Reagan has to show up here again, I’d rather it be off duty.”

I run a hand over my jaw, across my lips that flick in amusement. “Yeah me too.”

———–

After our coffees, Noble and I retreat inside. I need to get home and he needs to pack. 

I find my shirt from the night before, leave it unbuttoned over my t-shirt, then my shoes, my gun and the rest of my things I had laid on the dresser in the spare bedroom. 

Scanning the room one last time, I flip off the light and make my way back to the kitchen where Noble stands filling the dishwasher.

“Let me do that,” I offer.

“No,” he simply decides and I shake my head, not even bothering to argue.

I lean back against the opposite counter, crossing one ankle over the other while I watch him. “Next time then.”

He shuts off the sink and glances back over his shoulder. Reaching for the nearby dish towel, he dries his hands. “Alright, next time you do the dishes.”

A misbehaving smirk plays at my face. “You don’t get to be the only generous one.”

The hard exhale that he blows out makes me laugh and he cuts me this warning look. “Don’t.” One of his eyebrows jumps. “You already told me not to start shit last night, and look at you.”

“Yeah, well maybe I want to start something.”

He narrows his gaze behind his glasses, then presses his lips together as he glances down and lifts the door of the dishwasher, closing it out of the way. Then he tosses the towel on the counter.

Turning to me, his listless approach takes all of two steps until he stands over me. The dip of his head draws my heavy gaze up before he touches his mouth to mine, the hard press of his palm on my side beneath my open shirt.

I meet his kiss, easy at first, settling back against the counter’s edge as one hand finds the solid curve of his arm.

Slowly his lips slip from mine but remain right there with a tempting graze. That didn’t feel like enough, and I capture the kiss once more as my palm trails up and into his hair.

The sensation prompts him to let go of a heavy breath, his hand skating a path to my back, urging me against him.

This had been a vague possibility since I don’t know when. If I claimed I wasn’t attracted to him from the moment I first saw him, I’d be a liar. But it wasn’t as if I was overcome with some unrelenting lust for him. It was always this sort of subtle impulse I couldn’t shake.

But last night tipped over whatever that wavering impulse was, spilled the gasoline and struck the match.

The teasing stroke of his tongue makes my grip tighten in his hair, earning the faint echo of a hum in his chest.

Slowly, his face tilts down, his nose brushing my cheek as his kiss falls away, leaving my pulse flickering in my bottom lip.

“You’re not supposed to be a good kisser,” he murmurs, then his raspy voice softens to a whisper. “Fuck, I like you a lot. And I can’t.”

I watch his mouth. The slow rise and fall of his chest against mine leaves me unable to maneuver out of this connection I have with him. So I just stay there, manage a deep breath while I drag light fingertips along the back of his neck.

“I know,” I tell him. “I can’t either.”

He offers a slight nod and lets the edge of his teeth slide across his bottom lip. He eases away, trailing his hands around to rest his palms against my chest before he clears his throat. “So we’re cool, right?”

My head drops as I exhale a soft laugh. “I don’t know what we are.” I look at him, taking a moment to calm my pounding heart. My lips twist in uncertainty and I tell him softly, “But I have to go. And you have to go.”

He just meets my gaze with this look that makes me want to fall back on his mouth. This would crush me later, I know it. But I try to stay present, not to disappear inside my own guilt.

He presses off me, popping that invisible bubble around us when he takes a step back. “I have your number.”

“Use it, okay?”

“I will.” He nods, rocks between his feet and reaches out to smack a friendly pat against my cheek. “And you need to go shave, man. You look like you passed out on somebody’s balcony last night.”

I duck away, countering as I elbow check him in the chest. “Fine,” I laugh. “I’m out of here.” Hooking an arm around him, I bring him in for a hug. “And listen. Stay safe, alright?” I hold him for a beat, grasping the width of his solid back before I clap my hand there once.

“Alright,” he agrees, and it relieves me that he doesn’t attempt some indignant retort. “You too,” he adds, tightening strong arms around my back.

I tilt my chin down, pressing the tip of my nose, my mouth into his shoulder. “I mean it,” I mumble there before I release him.

Noble trails behind me as I head to the door. I pull it open and he grasps the edge over my head to hold it while I show myself out.

“Bye Jamie,” he says quietly.

I slide my hands in my pockets and I glance back at him once more. Before I come up with an excuse to stay a moment longer, I leave him with the flick of a smile at my cheek. The weight in my chest is heavy but for the first time in a while, a feeling deep there is provoked. And I know as I turn to head toward the elevator, that we definitely just started something.

[weekendwarriorblog]

The Weekend Warrior Home Edition June 12, 2020 – THE KING OF STATEN ISLAND, DA 5 BLOODS, ARTEMIS FOWL, YOU DON’T NOMI and more!

Sorry about the delay in this week’s column. Some stuff came up that was out of my control… like the actual summer.

If this were a normal weekend, I’d be writing about the box office prospects about a few movies, including Judd Apatow’s new comedy THE KING OF STATEN ISLAND (Universal), which teams him with “Saturday Night Live’s” enfant terrible, Pete Davidson. Instead, I’m once again writing about movies mostly not playing in theaters except for a few sporadic drive-ins across the country.

I already reviewed The King of Staten Island earlier this week – you can read that here – and though I know it will be playing in some regional drive-ins, I have no idea how many nor do I think Universal will report any box office if it does make decent bank. I think there will be general interest among younger people who like Pete Davidson on SNL but I’m not sure anyone over a certain age, say 30 or 40, will have much interest in what Davidson and Apatow can do together. The general gist of the movie is that Davidson plays Scott, a Staten Island slacker whose widowed mother (Marisa Tomei) starts dating a fireman, much to the chagrin of Scott, who lost his fireman father at an early age. You can read my review to see what I think, but it’s relatively tame for Apatow compared to his earlier films. I’m not sure that makes it necessarily better but people seem to be digging it.

One of my favorite movies from last year’s Tribeca and what is essentially this week’s “Featured Film” is Jeffrey McHale’s YOU DON’T NOMI (RLJE Films), which takes an in-depth look at Paul Verhoeven’s 1995 movie Showgirls, thought to be one of the worst movies and biggest bombs in its day but also a movie that has grown a built-in cult audience that adores it. It’s a pretty straight-ahead doc that relies on a number of experts to discuss the problems and virtues of Verhoeven’s film, including David Schmader, who did the DVD commentary for Showgirls, and author Adam Nayman, who is responsible for the book, “It Doesn’t Suck: Showgirls.” While I never fell into either the love it or hate it camp for Showgirls, I love how McHale’s doc acts as a thesis piece to explain exactly why so many critics took issue with Verhoeven’s much-maligned follow-up to hits Basic Instinct and Total Recall.

I won’t spoil the movie’s climax showing Showgirls finally achieving redemption, but it’s a pretty amazing event from 2015 that shows that maybe Showgirls has gotten past the hatred and ridicule that followed it around for decades. If nothing else, You Don’t Nomi will make you want to rent and watch (or rewatch) Showgirls almost immediately after seeing it. You might even agree with this film that it’s a misunderstood masterpiece on second viewing.

I’ve also decided to scrap the sections in this column, since two of the other big movie releases this week are going straight to streaming services, although both would probably have gotten some sort of theatrical release if not for COVID.

One of the other major releases of the weekend is Netflix’s streaming of Spike Lee’s DA FIVE BLOODS, his look at the Vietnam War through the eyes of four black Army vets who return to the country to retrieve the body of their fallen comrade… as well as a cache of gold bullion they found and hid during their previous tour.

I’ll be the first to admit that the quality of Spike Lee’s filmmaking over the past couple of decades has been somewhat spotty at best, although BlacckKKlansman was probably one of his better films over the past couple decades. Da Five Bloods reunites Lee with his BlackkKlansman co-writer, Kevin Willmot, and though it’s a fictitious tale, there are a few themes and elements in common.

Delroy Lindo and Lee regular Isiah Whitlock Jr. star as two of the Bloods, Paul and Melvin (along with Clarke Peters’ Otis and Norm Lewis’ Eddie). We meet them as they’re reunited in Vietnam, soon joined by Paul’s son David (Jonathan Majors) along to keep an eye on his father’s health. Chadwick Boseman plays the group’s leader, “Stormin’ Norman,” in the flashback sequence to the war era showing what happened to the Bloods on the fateful day their chopper went down behind enemy lines. There are a few satellite characters, played by M​élanie Thierry and Paul Walter Hauser (making a return from BlackKklansman), as well as Jean Reno, ​Jasper Pääkkönen and Johnny Trí Nguyễn, who all become involved in the Bloods’ search for gold

When you think of Vietnam War movies, it’s impossible not to think of Apocalypse Now, and Lee throws in a few obvious nods, whether it’s using “Flight of the Valkyrie” or the Chamber Brothers’ “Time Has Come to Day” but in general, the musical choices are solid. I wouldn’t say that the screenplay is particularly enlightening, the story being far more simple than

Just when you have settled into what you think is a fairly laid-back pace, Lee throws a “Holy shit!” moment at you that completely changes the complexion of what you’ve been watching, and that’s when the movie starts breaking into a few more action setpieces, some better than others.

Honestly, it’s a little strange seeing all these old black guys running around and shooting guns without Samuel Jackson being among them. Make no mistake that this is first and foremost Delroy Lindo’s film, as he gives a strong if not somewhat erratic performance, and he’s the crux of the story, but Whitlock and the other actors have some nice moments, as well. The bonding between the four guys is pervasive, to the point where it almost feels like the other characters are interfering, maybe because they are.

It’s a great time to release Da 5 Bloods, due to what is going on in this country, and like with BlackKklansman, Lee throws in a few shots at Trump, the guys referring to him as “President Fake Bone Spurs.” At least in this case, it’s incorporated into the story, but I hope Lee realizes that these Trump references will ensure these movies will feel dated if watched ten or twelve years from now.

That all said, Da 5 Bloods is a decent Spike Lee Joint, maybe not quite on par with BlackkKlansman but better than his last attempt at a war movie, 2008’s Miracle at St. Anna.

Rating: 7/10

As expected by quite a few people earlier during this pandemic, Walt Disney Pictures decided to send the Kenneth Branagh-directed ARTEMIS FOWL movie directly to their Disney+ streaming service, despite the movie having been in various stages of development for a decade or more. Unlike Da 5 Bloods and The King of New York, this movie based on Eoin Colfer’s book series, is far more streamlined with a kid-friendly running time of 95 minutes. Phew!

It centers around 12-year-old super-genius Artemis Fowl (Ferdia Shaw) whose father (also named Artemis Fowl and played by Colin Farrell) goes missing, forcing the young “Artie” to look for a powerful mystical device called the Aculos. Joining him on this quest are his non-butler Domovoi (Nonzo Anonsie), Dom’s daughter Juliet (Tamara Smart), an elven police officer named Holly Short (Lara McDonnell) and an oversized dwarf played by a bearded Josh Gad. Oh, yeah, and in this world, fairies, trolls and dwarves are real, but most humans don’t know about their existence due to their secrecy as well as having a way to erase humans’ memories ala Men in Black.

I’m quite sure the latter will be a qualifying benchmark for those who review the movie without having read any of Colfer’s fantasy series – like myself -- but it takes similar ideas as David Ayer’s Bright and the Amazon series Carnival Row and transforms them into something that attempts to be in the vein of Harry Potter or Fantastic Beasts but maybe comes across more like Percy Jackson. The irony is that Chris Columbus directed the initial chapters of both Potter and Jackson, but Artemis Fowl benefits from having Branagh at the helm.

I will freely admit that I’m very much a bonafide Branagh stan, and much of that is due to the way he’s handled bringing fantasy worlds to life in movies like Thor and Cinderella. Artemis Fowl is right up his alley, and he does an exemplary job even if most of his cast other than Gad… oh, yeah, and Dame Judi Dench, who plays the head of the “fairy police” – are fairly inexperienced. You can kind of tell that’s the case with first-timer Shaw, and his inexperience might be one of the tougher things for which older viewers might have to contend. Younger viewers won’t take issue with any of the problems that might throw off those expecting more from Artemis Fowl, because the storytelling is kept at a fairly brisk pace with a few decent action setpieces.

Artemis Fowl could have been released theatrically and been one of the summer’s sadly forgotten films. It finds a fun way of setting up the characters and ideas – presumably most of them taken directly from Colfer’s book – plus it sets up the possibility for even more fun family-friendly fantasy storytelling.

Rating: 7.5/10

There are a few other movies below I was hoping to get to, but see my note at the top of this column about why it was delayed by a day. If I get to any of the ones below, I’ll update and mention on social media.

One of the movies delayed from March but now getting a digital release is Carl Hunter’s drama SOMETIMES ALWAYS NEVER (Blue Fox Entertainment) -- not to be confused with Never Rarely Sometimes Always with the two movies at one point in danger of coming out on the same weekend!  It stars Bill Nighy as tailor Alan, who has been searching for years for his missing son Michael, who stormed out after a Scrabble Game. When a body turns up, Alan must try to work things out with his younger son Peter, played by Sam Riley, and an online player they think could be Michael.

Jonas Alexander Arnby’s Danish film EXIT PLAN (Screen Media) stars Nikolaj Coster-Waldau from Game of Thrones playing insurance claims investigator Max, who follows the clues of a death to the remote Hotel Aurora, a facility that specializes in assisted suicide, uncovering some disturbing revelations in the bargain.

Joshua Caldwell’s  INFAMOUS (Vertical Entertainment), which will be available via VOD and in select Virtual Cinemas, stars Bella Thorne as Arielle, a down-on-her-luck dreamer seeking popularity who runs into Jake Manley’s Dean, an ex-con working for his abusive father who dies in an accident sending the two of them on the run.

The dance drama, Aviva (Outsider Pictures/Strand Releasing), directed by Boaz Yakin (Remember the Titans, Max), was supposed to premiere at the SXSW Film Festival in March, but it will instead get its premiere through Virtual Cinema this Friday. It’s a love story that explores gender dynamics with dance sequences choreographed by Bobbi Jene Smith of the Batsheva Dance Company. Aviva is a young Parisian who gets into an online romance with a New Yorker named Eden, eventually meeting and getting married with the story told by four different dancers/actors simultaneously.

I haven’t had a chance to watch Flavio Alves’ The Garden Left Behind, starring Michael Madsen and Ed Asner, but it was a winner of the Audience Award at the 2019 SXSW Film Festival, so I’m definitely interested in learning more about its story of a young trans woman from Mexico who lives with her grandmother as undocumented immigrants in New York City.

Released in a union between Shudder and RLJE Films, The Dead Lands (Shudder/RLJE Films) hit Digital HD yesterday.  The supernatural fantasy set in New Zealand is co-directed by Peter Meteherangi Tikao Burger and Michael Hurst, and it stars Te Kohe Tuhaka as Waka, a murdered Maori warrior who has returned from the Afterlife who goes on a quest with with a young woman named Mehe (Darneen Christian) to discover who broke the world. Not quite sure why didn’t get to this one, as I’m usually interested in New Zealand-based films as well as supernatural fantasy.

Daniel (For the Bible Tells Me So) Karslake’s new doc For They Know Not What They Do (First Run Features), which will hit virtual cinemas this Friday, which looks at the intersection between religion, sexual orientation and gender identity in America through a number of families of faith learning to accept their LGBTQ children. It has pretty much run the festival circuit through most of last year, winning a number of audience awards.

Coming to the Film Forum’s Virtual Cinema this Friday is Bill Duke’s 1985 directorial debut The Killing Floor and Alastair Sim’s 1954 schoolgirl romp, The Belles of St. Trinian’s. Uptown at Film at Lincoln Center, besides the Human Rights Watch Film Festival (see below), they’ll be debuting Hong Sangsoo’s 2014 film Hill of Freedom (Grasshopper Films) in their already quite robust Virtual Cinema.

A few other films I wasn’t able to get to this week, include Return to Hardwick (Gravitas Ventures) and The Departure  (October Coast), so I guess I did better than last week?

A few film festivals taking place mostly virtually this week include the annual New York edition of the Human Rights Watch Film Festival, running from June 11 through 20, and the Fine Arts Film Festival in Venice, California (June 8 to 14). The latter is offering 92 films from 27 countries with different packages including the entire festival for $20 or individual series for $10. Also, the Oxford Film Festival continues its virtual festival with two music docs, Dillon Hayes’ short All I Have to Offer You is Me about country-Western singer Larry Callies, as he tries to get his voice back after a degenerative disorder, and Dennis Cahlo’s feature In Flowers Through Space, in which the filmmaker tries to use the Fibonacci Sequence to try to create a unique music album. You can also check out Ben  & Bo Powell’s Mississippi doc Nothin’ No Better about Rosedale, Mississippi, and more short blocks, all available on Oxford’s Virtual Site.

Also, the June episode of Hulu’s horror series “Into the Dark” is Good Boy, a movie directed by Tyler MacIntyre, starring Judy Greer, Steve Guttenberg and Ellen Wong (from Scott Pilgrim!) that has Greer adopting an emotional support dog that kills anyone who causes her anxiety. Just in time for Pet Appreciation Week! Yeah, I’m gonna have to see this one.

Next week, more movies (mostly) not in theaters!

By the way, if you read this week’s column and have bothered to read this far down, feel free to drop me some thoughts at Edward dot Douglas at Gmail dot Com or drop me a note or tweet on Twitter. I love hearing from readers … honestly, I do!  

[thisislizheather]

Navigating November 2019

I love being in the middle of the holiday season. So many get togethers, fat-ass blankets are on the bed, the snow is on its way, presents are coming, I love it all. It’s finally time for reflection and to celebrate the entire year that has come and gone. It’s the best time of the damn year. So excited for December to start. Here’s what happened last month:

Chrissy Teigen started her own website and though I haven’t tried any of her recipes on it yet, I intend to soon. I’ll likely start with this Lemon & Walnut Pasta since it’s been pretty popular. One thing I do like so far about the site? The newsletter that she emails out. She gives restaurant recommendations in them, which I happen to love.

I rewatched The Game and it’s still as great as I remembered. Michael Douglas can do no wrong.

Quick question: does anyone ever change up their makeup routine? I want to and don’t know how. I’m thinking maybe I’ll go the YouTube-tutorials route, but they can be so boring. Any suggestions welcome. I do not want to watch James Charles. His face bothers me.

I tried the Hard Kombucha from Trader Joe’s and it’s absolutely nothing special at all. The regular non-alcoholic stuff is way tastier.

I rewatched Rosemary’s Baby (I first saw it as a teenager and did. not. enjoy. it.) and surprise surprise: adult-me didn’t enjoy it either. It’s just really frustrating to watch. Mia Farrow makes all these terrible decisions and her husband has sex with her when she’s unconscious (???) and it’s just a lot. Must remember to never watch again.

We bought a new couch! It’s been a very big deal.

The TWA Hotel just keeps getting cooler: they’re going to have an ice skating rink this winter.

Love this cartoon:

Above Photo: Elilis Rosen, The New Yorker

I tried the Staten Island-style pizza at Joe & Pat’s in the East Village and it was good, but nothing to write home about. Skinny pizza is skinny pizza.

We haven’t watched any old Twilight Zone episodes in forever, probably because we forgot about it but also maybe because I think we’ve already seen all the good ones. But we recently watched The Long Morrow episode (mainly because it’s mentioned in a Gilmore Girls episode where it’s noted how romantic this episode is supposed to be) and WOOF. It fucking blew! I was pissed. I should’ve known it would suck though because it was “Logan’s favourite episode.” Serves me right.

I tried these cauliflower crackers from ALDI and whoa. Greatest cracker. This was also the first time I’ve ever been to an ALDI and I was expecting a bit more, to be honest. It’s just a dumpy grocery store? Why all the caps?

I’ve been following this woman Arielle for a few years now and I like her a lot. She used to work for Buzzfeed and that’s where I’d first heard of her (don’t judge me) and now I just sort of like to keep up with her life and what she’s doing. Very sweet, likable person to follow. This sounds vague as hell, but I’m really just mentioning it here because I feel like it’s hard to come across good people to follow who don’t make you feel bad about your own life and are sort of inspiring.

You know how you’ll buy something that’s supposed to change your life and you use it for a week and then never again? Yeah, that’s me with every single thing on my dresser. ANYWAY, I’ve actually started to use the Origins GinZing Eye Cream every night for the past little while and it really works, I think. (God, this just reminded me that I need to start remembering to put on neck cream. I can’t remember where I heard someone say that no one cares about their neck when they’re young and then WHAM one day your neck looks like that of an elderly turkey.)

I really thought I wanted to buy this new Frozen Colourpop palette but then I realized that I actually only want that colour in the middle, soooo I might just get this Huda palette in Topaz instead. (Yeah, I just bought it.) I’m very in the mood to do holiday makeup this year.

I think I’ve decided that there are way better eyeliners out there than Fenty’s Flyliner. It sticks to your eyelashes so that a coat of mascara can’t go on smoothly! It sucks. There! I’ve said it! Still love the sponge, though.

I rewatched The Day After Tomorrow and I’ve gotta say… I love movies like these. Dante’s Peak. Twister. This one. Love watching the world get all fucked up. But really, did climate change WRITE this movie? It’s great.

I have been watching so much Living Single and maaaaaaaan, this show’s perfect. It’s funny, it’s got heart, it’s not a typical kind of sitcom, there are minimal white people, it’s got it all! Love it so much. Wish reruns were easier to find on TV.

Hulu is having a sale right now where it’s $2/per month for a year. Yeah, that can’t be right. Check it out, might be worth it. Sale ends Monday December 2nd.

I am in love with these socks I got from Express. Love a smooth, soft sock in the wintertime.

I posted about my trip to New Orleans last month.

I made this Melt In Your Mouth Chicken and it was actually pretty good. Never would’ve even thought about coating chicken in yogurt.

I rewatched Big and of course I love this movie, it’s got a wish-granting robot machine in it. I should’ve wrote this damn movie!

Words can’t fully describe how much I love the Halloween and Thanksgiving and Christmas themed episodes of Bob’s Burgers. They’re always the best.

I watched Rumble in the Bronx and wow. Just a fun movie. Best part is by far the moment he launches a toddler out of harm’s way.

I went to Mister Paradise in the East Village and I’m sorry, it’s too expensive to drink in public these days. It’s nuts. One drink should never cost more than $15, have we all gone insane to silently agree to these parameters? And if you’re advertising “fancy sauce” for your fries, it better not be fucking ketchup mixed with mayo. That is some bullshit.

I finished Lindy West’s new book The Witches Are Coming and wrote a post about my favourite parts from it.

I watched True Lies and holy shit, a lot happens in this movie. In a good way. Fun watch.

I tried a sample of this Belief cream and it is luxurious as hell. Feels like it might be the perfect neck cream, too. You know, if you’re looking for that kind of thing (YOU SHOULD BE).

So I watched the Mr. Rogers movie with Tom Hanks and it’s just an unnecessary movie. I’m not hating on Tom Hanks, he’s fine in it (although he looks nothing like the man, it isn’t a good impersonation, the story doesn’t need to be told, ETC.) but it really just didn’t need to be made. A great Mr. Rogers movie already exists. They already did it! That being said, I teared up whenever any of the Mr. Rogers songs were sung. I can’t NOT cry at those songs, I’ve got a beating heart, don’t I?

So when I did Nathan’s podcast earlier this month, we talked briefly about going vegan for a week (we watched The Game Changers documentary) and we did it and now our lives are changed. Hahah, no no no, but that’d be wild. It was a hard week to do (mostly to cut out the dairy) but it did feel really good, so we’re going to try to limit meat and dairy much more strictly and see where that takes us. I promise not to talk about this for the rest of time.

I tried Trader Joe’s Vegan Mozzarella and holy hell, it was bad. Tasted like cooked plastic. Returned it immediately.

In contrast, their vegan butter was really, really good and a great substitution for regular butter.

I will forever love and miss In Living Color.

In true November fashion, I had my Thanksgiving croissant from Momofuku Milk Bar and I got it at their new flagship store in the city that is huge. They also had (vegan) apple pie soft serve that was insanely good and the seasonal pumpkin dulce de leche truffles they have right now are amazing. And the flagship location accepts cash! This better be the start of all the damn locations accepting cash. Don’t GET ME STARTED on places not accepting human cash.

Some thoughts on how to have a cheaper Christmas.

Some things that I’m looking forward to this month: I’m going to attempt to make (rather than buy) some of the Christmas gifts I’ve giving this year but we’ll see if this actually pans out, I’m awaiting Jenny Slate’s new book from the library, I definitely have to find time to watch Krampus, putting up the (real) Christmas tree since this is the first year we’re getting a normal, adult sized one, the first day of snow is apparently tomorrow (in NYC) and I’m in looooove with the fact that it’ll also be December 1st when this happens, taking the family Christmas card, I have an obligation to make these Nutella cookies, and I will definitely watch a few of these. Santa, get your ass over here!

If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in October over here!

[svu-stories]

.79

For: Anon Characters: Olivia Benson, Deputy Chief Dodds, Rafael Barba (and a guest appearance by Carisi) Warnings: None Word Count: 2,344

If it wasn’t an outright disabling of her authority, Chief Dodds never let Olivia forget her incompetence with snide remarks and subtle jabs at past failures. She would always know that Mike’s death was at her hands. Not only did she leave him alone, but she should have known to search for a drop gun when they went into Munson’s house.

Just a single thought of the day still made her stomach drop and heart jump into her throat. Single memories led to flashbacks, labored breathing, and the all too prevalent feeling of her arms wrapping around her superior as news of his son’s death invaded the world of hope William Dodds had been building around them the entire tragic day almost one year ago.

It had been one of the worst days of her career, and there was little she could do to move on from it.

Not with Dodds watching her every move.

Not with him reminding her of every misstep, every moment of risk.

When he’d requested a meeting with her, she felt the familiar drop in the pit of her stomach as she started to question what it could be about. There were a million possibilities, none of which sounded appealing to her. From the serial rapist they’d yet to catch that had been sitting on the corner of her desk for six days to why she’d chosen to wear contacts instead of glasses in the last week. She never knew anymore.

The one thing she could be certain of: Chief Dodds wouldn’t be happy.

Olivia stared down the computer screen before her, fingers barely resting on the keyboard of the laptop. She wanted to write, to fill out reports, to answer the emails that were building up in her inbox, but her hands wouldn’t move.

Maybe Dodds was right. Maybe she wasn’t fit for command. She had always said that being a detective was enough – being hands on, helping the victims, collaring the perps. Until Cragen’s vote of confidence and encouragement, Olivia Benson hadn’t wanted to move up the ranks. Maybe Dodds was right.

Lost in her own thoughts, Olivia jumped when a firm knock resounded on the door. She glanced up, regaining her composure quickly, and waving in Chief Dodds, she rose from her desk, hand extended in greeting.

“Sir,” she said with a curt nod. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Lieutenant, is there a reason that you are staring at a blank email reply? I don’t pay you to daydream,” he reprimanded firmly, accepting the handshake before commandeering the empty chair across from her desk.

Olivia’s head sunk instantly as she returned to her chair, shutting the top of the laptop smoothly and taking a deep breath. Within moments, she began to explain herself, barely starting a sentence before being cut off.

It was almost as though someone had started slowly letting the air out of a balloon. Olivia shrunk into herself, desperately wanting to disappear as a tirade of missteps, unfortunate events, and errors in command were recounted for her to reflect upon. Never before had retirement felt like such a good idea.

---

“I wouldn’t go in there,” Carisi warned, jumping up from his desk and strolling through the squadroom easily.

Barba paused, frowning as he turned to look at his mentee with a confused gaze. Normally, he would disguise his desire to talk to Olivia as work – something with a case, a question about a witness, a hair-brained idea that might actually win them a case that had been previously impossible to crack. Today, though, he just wanted to bring by coffee and ask for their usual sidebar.

“Carisi, I can go wherever I want,” Barba chided, turning back to reach for the door knob.

“Dodds is in there,” the eager detective continued, voice low and laced with apprehension. “You don’t interrupt the Lieu and Chief Dodds. And it could be a while.”

Barba let out a low sigh before glancing at the door. The blinds were drawn and the voices were murmured, mostly the deeper voice of Dodds ringing through with the occasional hiccupped phrase from Benson. Nodding in his agreement, he turned away from the office and perched himself against Carisi’s desk.

Sonny watched him with wide eyes before making his way back over, instantly using his skills of small talk and legal knowledge to engage Barba in conversation for several minutes. He didn’t fail to notice, however, that Barba’s attention wavered between their political debate and Benson’s office door.

It took everything in the Staten Island Native to not be disappointed when Barba leapt from the desk he’d taken a seat on as Benson’s door opened. Briefcase in hand, he quickly stepped toward the newly opened office. Dodds walked out, face firm and stoic, but Olivia didn’t follow. Instead, her door slammed shut almost as quickly as it had opened.

“She probably needs some time,” Carisi reasoned. “Usually does after Chief’s been in.”

“What do you mean?” Barba asked, eyes still trained expertly on the blinds as though he was trying to see beyond them.

Carisi shrugged, “Lieu’s always in a bad mood after talking to him. We’ve all learned to just give her some space and keep our heads down on days that he shows up.”

“It hasn’t always been that way.”

“No,” Carisi agreed. “He was never her favorite person, but it’s gotten worse since…”

Barba turned as the sentence trailed off, green eyes darkening as Carisi awkwardly looked toward his desk. He sighed, “Since Dodds was killed.”

“Yeah.”

Barba sucked his lower lip in, swallowing hard. Something didn’t sit well with him, and he started to debate his next move. A slammed door generally meant taking your own life into your hands by knocking, but he couldn’t leave his best friend alone. Knowing how Dodds had treated her in the aftermath of his son’s death, and with rumors flying that he hadn’t managed to cope well since either, he couldn’t just sit back and wonder.

Besides, it probably wasn’t as bad as Carisi was making it out to be. The young detective had always been a bit over-enthusiastic.

Gliding toward the office door, he knocked twice before reaching for the door knob. It wiggled beneath his fingers, but didn’t turn.

“I told you-” Sonny started.

Barba cut him off, knocking again before speaking loudly, “Lieutenant Benson, I need to speak with you.”

He waited with baited breath, realizing she wasn’t going to answer that quickly. Barba sighed, shaking the doorknob again, “Liv, c’mon, it’s me. Open the damn door.”

The sounds of her footsteps approaching the door caused him to step back slightly. He watched as the doorknob turned and she cracked the door open, stepping away to collapse behind her desk again as Barba let himself in, gently closing it behind him, “Aren’t we just a ray of sunshine?”

“What do you need, Barba?” Olivia snapped harshly, turning her attention to her email. She quickly began typing, not looking up as she swallowed hard and blinked back a few tears.

Rafael sighed, dropping himself into the chair Dodds had previously occupied, “I was going to ask if you wanted to make a coffee run?”

“No time,” she answered complacently. “Do you need something from me or the squad? Otherwise, you can see yourself out.”

Arms crossed over his chest, Barba shook his head, leaning back in the chair, “Would you just look at me?”

Olivia continued typing, though he could tell she was quickly losing focus. The rhythmic tapping of the keys slowed as she felt the weight of the afternoon wearing on her, chin falling to her chest before she turned in her chair, finally letting their eyes meet. “Okay,” she murmured. “I’m looking.”

Barba’s lips forced the tiniest of grins as he swallowed hard, “Are you okay?”

“Aside from the fact that I’m on probation for Dodds and my professional life has been falling apart this year? Yeah, I’m just peachy.”

“Probation? For what?”

“I have too many open cases with the squad, I can’t prove that I’ve been using my time effectively, and I regularly allow my subordinates to enter into unnecessary dangerous situations, apparently,” Olivia sighed. “Oh, and I let Chief Dodds’ son die on my watch.”

Barba watched her carefully, noticing how each negative caused her to shrink a little further into her chair, trying to hide from the prying eyes of the outside world. Before he could answer her, though, Olivia started rambling again.

“And, you know, maybe he’s right? I do worry about home more now that I have Noah, and sometimes I do spend more time chatting with you or Fin than working. I’m not the commander Cragen expected me to be. Maybe Tucker was right,” she mused. “Maybe retirement is the logical net step.”

“Stop that,” Barba insisted.

Olivia rolled her eyes, “What? Trying to make life make sense? Trying to keep people safe? Trying to pretend that I’m not responsible for Mike’s death?”

“We’ve gone over this. You’re not.”

“Then who is?”

“Munson,” Barba hissed. “And only Munson. You have too many people counting on you, Liv. A squad that needs you. You’re the glue. You’re the one who keeps them on the right path, and you’ve got scared victims who will need you there every step of the way. Hell, I need you here. I don’t know that I’d want to do this job without you riding my ass.”

“Don’t,” Olivia countered, her head shaking slightly. “Don’t try to convince me that I can do this.”

“You can,” Barba continued, ignoring her pleas. He shifted his weight, leaning forward in the chair with his elbows resting on his knees. “I can’t tell you the number of times you’ve saved my case. I don’t want to work with anyone else. Your squad doesn’t want anyone else. Dodds is still grieving. He never dealt with it properly.”

“But it’s on me.”

“He needs someone to blame and you’re the scapegoat. But you don’t deserve probation, and I’m going to take care of that.”

Olivia’s eyes snapped up as Barba stood, reaching for his briefcase. Her hands gripped the armrests of her chair tightly, knuckles turning white, “You can’t. Please let me handle this.”

Barba sighed, turning back to face her, “You’ve got people on your side, Liv. When are you going to realize that?”

Olivia swallowed hard, pursing her lips before nodding slowly in resignation. Her unspoken gratitude hung in the air for several minutes before he left her office, phone already in his hands to call in a favor or two. He ignored Carisi’s sendoff, causing the detective to frown before Amanda could distract him with a trip to visit an eyewitness on the latest case.

Watching her squad set to work, she forced herself to remember Barba’s words.

You’ve got people on your side.

---

It took everything in her to leave her office and return home to her son, but Olivia Benson managed to clock out before six o’clock in the evening. Noah was curled up on her lap, reading his favorite picture book together.

Olivia ran a hand over his hair before reaching forward to pick up her buzzing cell phone. She let out a low breath as she recognized the number. She swallowed hard, addressing the Chief of Police easily, “Benson.”

Noah reached for her phone and giggled as she pushed his hand away. She carefully slid her son to the couch before standing up, walking across the room. She needed to breathe, to focus. If Dodds had his way, this was the end. This was the offer to put in for retirement and bow out gracefully, no one having to know that the only other option was being forced out.

And part of her still believed she deserved it.

“Lieutenant, I hear you had a bit of an issue today. Probation?”

“Sir, I’d be more than willing to come into your office tomorrow to discuss the consequences.”

“Jumping ahead of ourselves, don’t you think?” He asked, a gentle chuckle following his words. Olivia leaned against her dining room table, eyes trained on Noah as he retrieved the cup of juice from the table and popped the straw into his little mouth. “I am aware that you’ve been having a rough year. I was looking through your jacket-“

“I can explain,” she began.

“Let me finish,” he offered gracefully. “I’ve had a conversation with Deputy Chief Dodds. He and I are going to sit down, but I believe some of the accusations being made against you are somewhat biased, which is understandable given the year he has had, but completely unprofessional as well. I will be in touch with you, but you can assume your personnel file will be cleaned up considerably.”

“How did you find out about this?”

“You have people who very much want you doing your job, Benson. I happen to be one of them, but others in high places are looking out for you and your squad’s well-being.”

“Thank you, sir,” she murmured, offering a quiet farewell and hanging up the phone.

She paused for a second, letting out a breath she didn’t know she was holding, before fashioning a text message beneath her finger tips.

You went to the Chief of Police?

Her eyes closed as the iPhone buzzed beneath her fingertips, Barba’s name flashing on the screen.

I told you. You’ve got people on your side.

Olivia scoffed, shaking her head.

Thank you.

She made her way over to the couch, scooping Noah into her arms with a lightness in her chest that hadn’t existed fifteen minutes before.

Her phone buzzed again and she glanced at the newest message, knowing she would be forever grateful for the friend who would always have her back.

Coffee. Before court tomorrow. Sleep well.

She hammered out a quick You, too, before breathing a sigh of relief. Allowing herself to have people was one of the best things to happen to Olivia, and nothing could ever take that away.

[gethealthy18-blog]

Healthy One Pot Quinoa Recipe | Episode 48

New Post has been published on http://healingawerness.com/healty-recipes/healthy-recipes-for-weight-loss/healthy-one-pot-quinoa-recipe-episode-48-2/

Healthy One Pot Quinoa Recipe | Episode 48

wooooo that escalated quickly it's still good it's just like a little extra flavor hello ladies and gentlemen my name is Alex welcome to my kitchen where we only cook healthy food that doesn't suck what we are working with today is quinoa broccoli onion cherry peppers roasted red peppers capers so naturally we're gonna be making like a Mediterranean style quinoa you need a pot got so many pot skills Oh get your pot hot knives not gonna do that same trick with the knife because that seems like asking for trouble I've got my onion I'm gonna take the skin off of it you are all garbage not you you guys aren't garbage the onion skin is garbage cut up your onion nice and small making the dice you know playing those dice I am the worst at craps I don't understand it oh I literally put money down and then they just take it away from me and I'm like oh that was fun but but not fun lets get some olive oil in our pot did I mentioned garlic because we need garlic you know what I made this the other day I roasted some garlic in the oven so I'm gonna use that so all you do to roast garlic is take the garlic it smells so good take the garlic cut the top of it off put it in a little foil drizzle some olive oil pack it up throw it in the oven 45 minutes to an hour and then you just squeeze it out so satisfying that's the stuff so if you're using raw garlic just chop it up put it in with the onions let's put the onions into the olive oil onions and garlic and turn that up a little all right now we need to get the accoutrements ready so we've got roasted red peppers here if you have sun-dried tomatoes use those too I like to get a plate out so I can just swoop it all in whoa really big using that these are red cherry peppers they are pretty spicy these are particularly made by my father-in-law he cans them every year so good but you can also just buy them at the store so I'm gonna do two of them the seeds are really the spiciest bit so if you want to like take some of the spice out avoid the seeds or just don't put them in at all because they are hot mix it up you've got to mix it up don't you know mix songs that are only popular in Staten Island when I started going to weddings in Staten Island everyone would be jamming to these songs and I'd be like this is not popular any anywhere but here salt pepper don't you know pump it up all right we've got our olives also annoying about there's a pit in these ones is there a device that you can purchase to get the pits out of these that isn't my fingers let me know in the comments below certainly not gonna put the pits into the thing cause that's asking for a tooth ache don't do this unless you're good at it I was doing this I work the other day with an apple and the guy was like oh my god how are you not cutting your finger off yo this is Grandma cutting style am i right have you ever seen a movie where a grandma cooks this is how she's cutting having to do it this way makes me wonder how many olives I actually need in here all I'm done all right let's cut up this red pepper and these cherry peppers now the last thing we need is just some capers did you know the capers are a berry all right let's get all this into our pot oh look at that beautiful juices give her a mixer ooh whoo that smells good alright you could add red pepper flakes but because I put two cherry peppers in I'm not going to okay let's see I'm eye balling this so 1/4 2/4 3/4 and you should always rinse your quinoa before you use it but this one is pre-washed win so I three quarters of a cup of quinoa and everything is kind of nicely coated but it's not like too much quinoa it's kind of like just the perfect amount of quinoa no I'm gonna do two quarters than the cup you could do water you could do chicken stock vegetable stock wine not saying it wouldn't work but I don't own any of those things so I'm just gonna use water one quarter cup two quarter cups I believe that's a half okay mix this all up like I'm like do I need the third quarter because technically quinoa is one-to-one but because we have so much liquid from the other stuff I think that it will be okay I'm gonna do like a lose like a half a quarter I don't know the mathematical term for that okay put this on the heat and bring it to a boil well that's going let's talk about this broccoli we're gonna add it kind of at the very end because I don't want it to get to like mushy you know what cancel the broccoli we're going spinach so we're gonna do spinach instead of broccoli cuz that'll cook in much easier I know everyone was really excited for the broccoli because who doesn't get excited for broccoli spinach is fun too okay guys don't think that spinach isn't as fun as broccoli because spinach is fun it's broccoli we all agree okay so it's come to a boil I'm just gonna give it one little mix up and then I'm gonna reduce the heat to low and cover it up for 10 to 15 minutes all right I've been simmering for about 10 minutes on low the way I like to check if it's done or not I have clear lids which makes it is easier but if I push it to the side and I can see water kind of pooling up I know it's not done because it hasn't all been absorbed yet by the quinoa so that needs a couple more minutes go we're cooked the quinoa is cooked let's add the spinach spinach in feels like too much spinach perhaps it will not be once it wilts we'll find out in a minute oops yep that was that's a lot I'm gonna put it back on the heat for just a minute so the spinach can wilt I have like a tiny bit of caffeinated tea today I am on fire okay so the spinach wilted up nicely and it's getting incorporated beautiful eh that's it dinner is done oh yeah look at that sexiness can you feel the sexy yeah steaming hot delicious quinoa Mediterranean style super quick and easy one dinner if you like this recipe be sure to check on the links below if you like cooking with me today be sure to like comment and subscribe if you have your own favorite one-pot meal let me know in the comments below I wanna make them and be sure to check out my online course for all of your health coaching needs and tons of other delicious healthy recipes okay this is way too hot to taste test but I'm gonna do it anyway got some spicy mm-maybe to cherry peppers was a lot I love this meal it's so good yeah you gotta try this we did good this is great that's all for today guys I will see you next time it's really spicy be careful oh the heat level this one's high the heat on this one is up there Oh

[viralhottopics]

‘Are You The One?’ Recap: So It Begins

Jambo, morons! Welcome back to another riveting season of where the success rate is similar to the cast members combined IQs: practically non-existent. But hey, were Americans. We love shit that is destined to failwhether its reality shows or President-elects. Its our cross to bear.

ANNNNYWAYS. So MTV had a hard job to do: top the group of idiots that made up season 4. And thankfully for you, but mostly for me, they did just that. Shoutout to you MTV, you da real MVP.

Also, as many of you know, I tend to feature quotes from my loveable, yet incredibly cruel mother in these recaps. You think Im bad? She once called a woman in Starbucks a psycho bitch because she took the last of the skinny vanilla mix. True story. DM me for details. Lets begin now.

This season MTV really went for #culture and decided to have the show in the Dominican Republic. Even reality shows get island fever, I guess. I mean, you can really only throw so many group orgys/luaus so many times on one show.

Ryan Devlin, the host who you feel bad for like 99% of the time, meets up with the cast and is like you guys all suck at and theyve all been trained to say relationships. Of course they all forget their one fucking line and just sound like they are saying random shit.

RYAN: You guys suck at CASTMATE 1: Relationships! CASTMATE 2: Tomato! CASTMATE 3: Unicorn piss! CASTMATE 4: 9/11 was a hoax!

We meet Tyranny (Mom Quote: IS HER NAME TRANNY!?! theyre so cute when they are mildly offensive) says that all of her boyfriends have either cheated on her or knocked other girls up. In the words of Donald Trump: Sad! Very Unfair!

Theres Jaylan who used to be a loser, hit the gym, now gets pussy. Male Laney Boggs. Tale as old as time. Moving on.

Taylor: hottest girl on the show easily, talks about how her dad would kill some of the men she has dated, low-key concerned for her safety and the safety of others.

Theres Joey, the povo as fuck part-time garbage man who spent his last remaining dollars on a gaudy watch. Obviously a very smart investor. Didnt know sent kids on scholarship. Im just happy hes honest about being a garbage man and doesnt try and be like Im a sanitation assistant. Not that any of them know what sanitation means.

Joey is def hot though10/10 would bang, just to get hook up with blue collar worker off my bucket list.

REAL PICTURE OF JOEY:

THE FIRST DATE RULES

Ryan explains about how they do comprehensive interviews and questionnaires to develop and algorithm that eventually finds their match. You know poor Joey didnt know what was happening after comprehensive.

This season, theres another twist: there are 11 guys and 11 girls, but they only get ten chances. Obviously MTV was giving away too much money with this show, so they made more couples. What? Youre thinking it.

For the first date, MTV acted like a bunch of fucking narcs and sent bios to the contestants’ parents so mom and dad can pick who they think is a match. Everyone is like, Mom dont fuck this up for me.

My mom: If you were ever on this show I would literally never acknowledge you again. (Fair enough.)

Joeys mom picks Carolina, whos like okay cool, whatever. She doesnt know hes a garbage man yet, so give her a break.

Hannah’swho is from my hometown, hey girlfamily picks Oswaldo, a self-described horny genius. Welp, I think a line like that means its time for a shot. Brb.

Anyway, Hannah is like I would rather eat my own spleen then date Oswaldo. (paraphrase)

Giannas mom chose Hayden and they start hugging and are like . Fucking spare me. The other fucking losers have to send these couples to the truth booth after their date.

BACK TO THE HOUSE

The castmates get to their dungeon for the next few months and drinks are flowing and shirts are off. I remember my first sip of alcohol.

Cassandra is drunk and is wanting to touch everyones face. She like Im so flirty when Im drunk which is a weird way of saying Im a hoe.

Its Mikes birthday today. Hes like its my birthday so someone fuck me. *plays Birthday Sex* *stares aggressively at all the women*

Mike describes himself as a typical Staten Island boy. His hobbies include moisturizing, mispronouncing half the English language and fapping off to girls who look like Snooki.

Ozzy is a local, so you know he is dirty as fuck. Kathryn goes to Florida State, you know shes hot as fuck, but also borderline brain-dead.

Shes like I WANT TO BE A TEACHER! and its like, sure ya do sweetie, and I want to be a fucking astronaut. Stick to what you know and continue being a TFM girl.

Ozzy and Kathryn both want to be teachers. Snoreeeeee. Shes already like Im in lovewell folks, weve met the stage-5 clinger for the season.

Michael the douchebagnot be confused with Mike, the little man from Staten Islandis laying it on THICK to Taylor and she is not having it. Taylor has officially become my favorite on the show so far.

MICHAEL:Hey pretty lady TAYLOR:Ew seriously? Girls with asses like mine do not talk to guys with faces like yours.

Shes like youre so full of shit and Im like SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK, TAYLOR.

Hayden and Gianna are talking about how they both have dogs and both like corn and other pretty basic shit and decide theyre going to be together forever.

GIANNA: I breathe air HAYDEN: No way, I breathe air!!!

They both have the flyover state bond, with Hayden being from Indiana and Gianna being from Ohio. Its always cute to see two people from middle America bond and discuss the fact that they fucked the rest of us over. True love.

Everyone is like Hayden and Gianna are a match, even though theyve all known each other for 3 seconds.

Joey the trash man is telling people that hes going to be a carpenter, much like a 3rd grader would say Mommy, Im going to be a superhero! Shannon brings me the biggest laugh of the night by asking him to do her carpets, clearly not knowing what a carpenter is. Shit like that makes me miss my sorority.

Ozzy is chain-smoking and being like I DONT WANT TO BE THE OLD ME. Aka, me on New Years Eve.

Kathryn and Ozzy are drunk as fuck and being flirty and going WE WANT TO HELP KIDS!!!! You stay the fuck away from my future children, Rush-Boobs and Ozzy.

Michael is talking to Gianna and starts telling a sob story about how he was chubby and he blossomed. If I had a nickel for every time I heard that one. No seriously, every fucking season they have one of these guys.

MTV CASTING: Ok we need at least one hick, one former fat dude, one ripped black guy and one oddly feminine guy. Search the fucking country.

Michael starts asking Gianna about her open-heart surgery, gets bored halfway through and just starts sucking her face. Okay. Well that escalated quickly. Quote from mom: He doesnt give a shit about her faulty heart. Hes trying to get laid. Profound.

Rush-Boobs wants to make Ozzy jealous and starts low-key hooking up with Mike. Fantastic logic, cant wait for you to educate our youth.

Then we meet Andre, who has trust issues because the girl he liked since 8th grade literally sat on his friends lap. Meanwhile, Tyrannys boyfriends are having children, but OKAY. #dramatic

Alicia is the perpetual sidepiece, aka every womans enemy.

Ozzy and Kathryn already think they are a match and Ozzy forgive Rush-Boobs for hooking up with Mike because hes a cheater too, so this is karma. Wow, how fucking zen of you.

THE DATE

Hayden dresses in camo for the date and Gianna is like You can take the boy out of Indiana, but you cant make him dress like a normal fucking human.

Its very clear Gianna is over Hayden, whereas Hayden hasnt been this excited since he attended a Donald Trump rally last summer.

GIANNA: FML HAYDEN: *excitedly whispers* Build that wall! Build that wall!

Joey just looks like a trash man, like, just in life. He has resting garbage man face.

Hannah does not like Oswaldo, its very obvious. Shes going to call her parents and demand a raise in her monthly allowance for making her suffer through this bullshit.

Gianna starts kissing Hayden and shes like Ill give him a chance. How fucking noble of you.

Carolina and Joey are talking about their parents and Joey tells her that he would never cheat on a girl and Carolina damn near creams her pants. They kiss and meanwhile the whole audience is wondering does she know hes a trash man? That dramatic irony, doe.

THE TRUTH BOOTH

ShockerHayden and Gianna to the truth booth. Michael is like WE MADE OUT LAST NIGHT but Im not jealous.

MICHAEL: Im not even mad! NARRATOR: Michael was, in fact, very mad.

Ah, but there is a truth booth twist! They can trade in truth booth and add $150,000 to their prize. But if they take the money then Hayden and Gianna can never get sent back together.

The house is torn. Im torn. Im all out of faith, this is how I feel.

*Starts Twitter poll asking people what they would do*

They decide not to take the trade, which my mom and I both agree is stupid.

And lookie here: No match. So thats done.

Michael is thrilled. My mom thinks he looks like a baby rat. Cannot un-see that.

Gianna gives a speech basically saying that she didnt feel it the whole time and everyone is like okay cool thanks for telling us, *whispers* ya fuckin bitch.

We also very quickly meet Kam, who has a rotation of men because #feminism. And Edward, who has a chest tattoo. Thats it for now.

Gianna goes to hang out with Michael and hes over it. He makes her cry, I dont really care, blah blah blah, moves on with life. Gianna and Michael are going to be the annoying couple this season. Buckle up.

MATCH CEREMONY

This season they have the blackout rule again but this time they cut the winnings in half if they blackout. Thats way harsh, Tai.

First is Kam and Eddy. Shes building up her newest rotation.

Taylor picks Tyler, who is hot. Wait what? Why did they not introduce the hot guy? What is this fuckery, MTV? They also sound like they could be identical twins.

Kari, dont know her yet so whatever, picks little man Mike.

Casandra picks Kaylen.

Caroline picks Joey.

Tyranny and Oswaldo. Can I just call you Tee? Im going to call you Tee, because Im one letter away from being low-key fucked up.

Giannas dumb ass is up and shes like I HAVE A GREAT CONNECTION WITH MICHAEL so obviously shes going to pick Ozzy.

Tee and Alicia are pissed and threatening to curb stomp this bitch. Fuck yes, this is what I signed up for. Gianna is like Leave me alone everyone, Im proving this to Michael! Literally all you proved was that youre crazy AND stupid.

Hannah picks Michael.

Alicia picks Andre.

Rush-Boobs picks Derek, who is also hot as fuck. Also, Rush-Boobs laugh reminds me of Kitty from. I know. Its all you can think about now.

Shannon, who btw really needs her carpets cleaned, picks Hayden.

Well this is excitingthey get two matches. Not bad for week one. They dont make me want to kill myselfyet.

Ryan gives the follow your heart speech that we hear every fucking episode and the cast goes back to the house to turn the fuck up.

So far, off to an interesting start. Gotta say, good-looking cast this season. Dumb as rocks, but good-looking. Come back next week to see what other shit I can talk about my peers who are doing far worse than I am. Peace, bitches.

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from ‘Are You The One?’ Recap: So It Begins

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Healthy One Pot Quinoa Recipe | Episode 48

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Healthy One Pot Quinoa Recipe | Episode 48

wooooo that escalated quickly it's still good it's just like a little extra flavor hello ladies and gentlemen my name is Alex welcome to my kitchen where we only cook healthy food that doesn't suck what we are working with today is quinoa broccoli onion cherry peppers roasted red peppers capers so naturally we're gonna be making like a Mediterranean style quinoa you need a pot got so many pot skills Oh get your pot hot knives not gonna do that same trick with the knife because that seems like asking for trouble I've got my onion I'm gonna take the skin off of it you are all garbage not you you guys aren't garbage the onion skin is garbage cut up your onion nice and small making the dice you know playing those dice I am the worst at craps I don't understand it oh I literally put money down and then they just take it away from me and I'm like oh that was fun but but not fun lets get some olive oil in our pot did I mentioned garlic because we need garlic you know what I made this the other day I roasted some garlic in the oven so I'm gonna use that so all you do to roast garlic is take the garlic it smells so good take the garlic cut the top of it off put it in a little foil drizzle some olive oil pack it up throw it in the oven 45 minutes to an hour and then you just squeeze it out so satisfying that's the stuff so if you're using raw garlic just chop it up put it in with the onions let's put the onions into the olive oil onions and garlic and turn that up a little all right now we need to get the accoutrements ready so we've got roasted red peppers here if you have sun-dried tomatoes use those too I like to get a plate out so I can just swoop it all in whoa really big using that these are red cherry peppers they are pretty spicy these are particularly made by my father-in-law he cans them every year so good but you can also just buy them at the store so I'm gonna do two of them the seeds are really the spiciest bit so if you want to like take some of the spice out avoid the seeds or just don't put them in at all because they are hot mix it up you've got to mix it up don't you know mix songs that are only popular in Staten Island when I started going to weddings in Staten Island everyone would be jamming to these songs and I'd be like this is not popular any anywhere but here salt pepper don't you know pump it up all right we've got our olives also annoying about there's a pit in these ones is there a device that you can purchase to get the pits out of these that isn't my fingers let me know in the comments below certainly not gonna put the pits into the thing cause that's asking for a tooth ache don't do this unless you're good at it I was doing this I work the other day with an apple and the guy was like oh my god how are you not cutting your finger off yo this is Grandma cutting style am i right have you ever seen a movie where a grandma cooks this is how she's cutting having to do it this way makes me wonder how many olives I actually need in here all I'm done all right let's cut up this red pepper and these cherry peppers now the last thing we need is just some capers did you know the capers are a berry all right let's get all this into our pot oh look at that beautiful juices give her a mixer ooh whoo that smells good alright you could add red pepper flakes but because I put two cherry peppers in I'm not going to okay let's see I'm eye balling this so 1/4 2/4 3/4 and you should always rinse your quinoa before you use it but this one is pre-washed win so I three quarters of a cup of quinoa and everything is kind of nicely coated but it's not like too much quinoa it's kind of like just the perfect amount of quinoa no I'm gonna do two quarters than the cup you could do water you could do chicken stock vegetable stock wine not saying it wouldn't work but I don't own any of those things so I'm just gonna use water one quarter cup two quarter cups I believe that's a half okay mix this all up like I'm like do I need the third quarter because technically quinoa is one-to-one but because we have so much liquid from the other stuff I think that it will be okay I'm gonna do like a lose like a half a quarter I don't know the mathematical term for that okay put this on the heat and bring it to a boil well that's going let's talk about this broccoli we're gonna add it kind of at the very end because I don't want it to get to like mushy you know what cancel the broccoli we're going spinach so we're gonna do spinach instead of broccoli cuz that'll cook in much easier I know everyone was really excited for the broccoli because who doesn't get excited for broccoli spinach is fun too okay guys don't think that spinach isn't as fun as broccoli because spinach is fun it's broccoli we all agree okay so it's come to a boil I'm just gonna give it one little mix up and then I'm gonna reduce the heat to low and cover it up for 10 to 15 minutes all right I've been simmering for about 10 minutes on low the way I like to check if it's done or not I have clear lids which makes it is easier but if I push it to the side and I can see water kind of pooling up I know it's not done because it hasn't all been absorbed yet by the quinoa so that needs a couple more minutes go we're cooked the quinoa is cooked let's add the spinach spinach in feels like too much spinach perhaps it will not be once it wilts we'll find out in a minute oops yep that was that's a lot I'm gonna put it back on the heat for just a minute so the spinach can wilt I have like a tiny bit of caffeinated tea today I am on fire okay so the spinach wilted up nicely and it's getting incorporated beautiful eh that's it dinner is done oh yeah look at that sexiness can you feel the sexy yeah steaming hot delicious quinoa Mediterranean style super quick and easy one dinner if you like this recipe be sure to check on the links below if you like cooking with me today be sure to like comment and subscribe if you have your own favorite one-pot meal let me know in the comments below I wanna make them and be sure to check out my online course for all of your health coaching needs and tons of other delicious healthy recipes okay this is way too hot to taste test but I'm gonna do it anyway got some spicy mm-maybe to cherry peppers was a lot I love this meal it's so good yeah you gotta try this we did good this is great that's all for today guys I will see you next time it's really spicy be careful oh the heat level this one's high the heat on this one is up there Oh