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gimme-mor · 3 years

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ACOTAR THINK PIECE: ELAIN ARCHERON, UNTOUCHABLE

*DISCLAIMER*

This will be a long post.

Please take the time to read this post in its entirety and truly reflect on the message I am trying to send before commenting. My goal is to use my background in Gender and Women’s Studies to deconstruct the comments I have seen on Tumblr and Twitter and bring awareness to the ACOTAR fandom.

The reason I am tagging “Elriel” in this post is to call attention to the arguments in the Elriel fandom that: weaponize Elain’s femalehood to shame real life people for their opinions about Elain’s character and her relationship with Lucien; victimize Elain’s character in fandom discussions; and coddle Elain’s character, which limits fandom discussions about her narrative development and prevents the ACOTAR fandom from holding Elain accountable for her actions and inactions in the same way that the fandom holds other characters accountable for their actions and inactions. It is for these reasons that I WILL NOT remove the “Elriel” tag from this post because all of the above points contribute to the toxic discourse surrounding Elain’s character.

I urge those who use these arguments to understand their implications, why they are problematic, regardless of intent, and reexamine their contributions to the ACOTAR fandom. I WILL NOT tolerate anyone who tries to twist my words and say I am attacking people and their personal shipping preferences. In fact, I AM CRITIQUING THE ARGUMENTS THEMSELVES NOT THE PEOPLE USING THE ARGUMENTS.

Also, I highly encourage the Elriel fandom to read this post because it addresses how the concept of choice as an argument enables arguments to exploit social justice and feminist languge in order to vilify Elucien shippers, among other problematic things.

Elain Archeron is one of the most polarizing characters in the ACOTAR fandom. Though opinions about Elain vary, arguments in the Elriel fandom cite society’s perception of traditional female characters in comparison to non-traditional female characters as the reason behind the hate, and this belief is used to provide an explanation as to why other characters in the series are favored over her. In the series, Elain is portrayed in a wholly positive light and this image carries over into the Elriel fandom, painting her character as a good and kind female who has been unfairly wronged and a victim of circumstances that were out of her control. When arguments in the Elriel fandom oppose other viewpoints in the fandom, they fall into one of three categories:

Category 1: Weaponize Elain’s femalehood to shame real life people for their opinions

Maybe people who hate Elain are just jealous of her in a weird way similar to when someone hates the pretty, nice, and charming girl in school just because she is too perfect

Disliking Elain is misogynistic

What happened to feminism? What happened to women supporting women? What happened to she can say no? All of that disappears the second you force Elain to be with Lucien

Elain antis are misogynistic

All Eluciens are Elain antis

Antis claiming they’re feminists when in reality they hate on Elain and Feyre but love Nesta

Elain antis are such sore losers. Y’all were that bunch of people who could not get over being rejected from hanging out with the cool kids so y’all are projecting your hatred towards pretty people now to get validation

I don’t get how Elain’s love for gardening equals boring for some people. I’m sorry your misogyny finds traditionally feminine activities boring

Why are you attacking a female? What did Elain do? Where are your feminist voices?

The fandom is misogynistic towards Elain

If people loved Elain they would ship Elriel

If you hate Elain it says a lot about your feelings toward women

If you hate Elain because she has no “development” then you must hate Azriel because otherwise you’re misogynistic

Eluciens are turned off by the idea of a woman that has the autonomy to reject a man for the simple reason that it is her choice

Eluciens are all about feminism and “it’s HER choice” until it comes down to females not wanting a male

Eluciens don’t respect Elain’s feelings when they ship her with someone that was part of her trauma and makes her feel uncomfortable

The way some Elucien shippers completely disregard how uncomfortable Elain is around Lucien is so hilariously not funny. Prioritizing being mates over Elain’s feelings is just regressive

It’s hard as a fan of Elain to see someone ship her with a person who makes her physically uncomfortable to be around. Wouldn’t you want both characters to be happy to be around each other

Imagine if SJM saw all the awful things her “stans” had to say about Elain

It’s true that we know comparatively little about her, but is she really boring or do you just not value stereotypically feminine traits?

So y’all are just gonna tell me you prefer Elucien over Elriel? Even though Lucien treats Elain as if she’s something that belongs to him? The only reason he wants to be with her is because she’s his mate, he doesn’t respect her, doesn’t treat her as his equal, even though that’s what mates should be? He doesn’t bother to look past what’s on the outside to see her for who she is. And Elain is obviously repulsed by the idea that she should belong to anyone or have no choice in who she can be with. Azriel is her friend and the only person who sees her quiet strength. He has so much faith in her, in her abilities; he’s the one who kept her company when no one else did, he’s the only one who bothered to see her for more than her brokenness. You’re going to tell me you still prefer Elucien over Elriel?

The more I see Gwynriels that ship Elucien out of their hate for Elain, the less I can understand Elain stans that ship Elucien. Pls Elain has made it very clear that she doesn’t want Lucien, why would you ship her with him? Do you hate her too? Smh

The real question would be, if you care and understand Elain why would you ship her with Lucien (where she canonically shrinks when he is near)?

People crying over Helion and Lucien’s mom not getting to be with each other and her being forced into a relationship she didn’t want, but also ship Elucien? Just say you hate Elain

When Elain’s book is out, Gwyn stans will look like clowns and I will laugh because they set her up by shipping her with Azriel just because they hate Elain. Watch them play the victims now because Elriels are clapping back the hate they’ve sent towards Elain

As romantic as wanting girl who is visibly uncomfortable around a guy who caused her trauma to end up with the said guy. Guess their standards for romance are in hell

Category 2: Victimize Elain’s character

Gwynriels only want Gwyn with Azriel because they despise Elain

Gwyn stans and Gwynriels are Elain antis

No one in the books dislike Elain, so why are there so many people who do?

Elain hasn’t done anything wrong or questionable to warrant the hate she gets

Not having Elain’s POV makes it easy for people to be swayed a certain way about her character if you already don’t relate to her in some way

It’s been years since this series came out and we haven’t gotten a lick of an Elain POV, but people still hate her for what? We don’t know her thoughts, dreams, or aspirations

We haven’t even had Elain’s perspective yet and people are passing these judgments off on her

Elain antis who say she’s boring are just cruel when she has obvious symptoms of PTSD like Feyre and Nesta

Gwyn is one of the most overhyped characters and that’s only because most people hate Elain and they couldn’t wait to find a random girl to ship Azriel with

Nesta was abusive to her sisters but Elain (who has only ever been kind) is painted as the villain

From the text we know that Elain is the epitome of feminine stereotypes (gentle, gardening, baking, non confrontational for the most part). Yet people still call her boring or deny that she has any interesting character traits?

You can’t love Nesta and hate Elain

People hate Elain because of internalized misogyny and lack of taste. All the girl does is tend to her garden and mind her business and they treat her worse than Tamlin

Does Gwyn deserve all this support? Of course yes! She is amazing! But where’s that support when Elain was in the same situation as she? Where’s that support for her right now? Why do they idolize Gwyn for her interactions with Azriel and hate Elain for having any interaction with him?

It’s not even a ship war anymore, they just hate Elain

People hate Elain for no reason

Some of y’all don’t like feminine traits and it shows

We know less about Eris and Helion but people don’t call them boring. Why would rejecting femininity make Elain more interesting?

Elain has had a lot forced upon her

The main reason I believe most people love Gwyn so much is to get Azriel away from Elain. It’s not a secret that Elain has been a widely hated character for years so suddenly we get a new female who has a minimal amount of interactions with Azriel and BOOM. New ship that once again doesn’t make sense (just like Azriel x Emerie after ACOFAS)

Elain hasn’t done something so terrible for her to get this hate. At this point some of you are just being misogynistic and you don’t want to accept it. Don’t call yourselves feminists and then say bs like this, it’s embarrassing. She’s pretty and everyone agreed to hate on her

Just a personal feeling, but I feel like a lot of the Elain hate stems from internalized misogyny. That to be a strong female lead, you need to pick up a sword and fight. That to be strong, you need to adapt traditionally masculine traits

Elain is feminine. She is beautiful. She loves to bake and garden. She is docile, quiet, observant, and a people-pleaser. All traditionally feminine traits. Yet for some reason, she’s like the worst in these people’s eyes?

I think also maybe a lot of people can’t relate to her femininity? That her being so beautiful and quiet doesn’t allow for the people who dislike her not to self-insert? Most of the hate stems from people not wanting Elain to be with Azriel. It’s mean, but maybe the people who hate Elain literally just can’t self-insert if they have a story and that’s why they’re vehemently against it?

Poor Elain. The Cauldron dealt her a bad deal. Upon emerging as Fae, she is immediately declared by Lucien as his mate, never mind that she was already engaged to a prick. Her love life is not good

It blows my mind how they really think that they can compare all the shit that Elain gets with some dumb jokes about Gwyn on Twitter (and yes, the “hate” towards her started mostly because Elriels are clapping back, it was bound to happen)

I would think of it as anti-feminist with Elain and Lucien because she has consistently stated that she does not want him so if she was forced to embrace the bond that would be taking away her right to have a choice but with Az she feels comfortable around so if they were mates then Elain would be happy and feel safe which again should be the priority for women to feel safe in their relationships with anything and to not be forced into any type of situation aka the mating bond in this

Category 3: Coddle Elain’s character

Elain has value the way she is, in all her domestic girly glory. Not every character has to be badass

We don’t speak of Elain’s flaws frequently because everyone else already speaks badly of her, mainly in an unfair way

There is definitely something deeper going on with Elain but by no means will she ever be evil or any less feminine. That goes against everything we already know about her

It’s ok to critique Elain because she needs growth but y’all keep forgetting the shit her and her sisters went through

The last “bad” thing Elain did in ACOTAR was not help Feyre when they were impoverished and I’m tired of people acting like she’s a terrible character when it was their father’s responsibility. It happened 4 books ago and Feyre has forgiven both Nesta and Elain

Elain’s character and the evil Elain theory are a great example of the trend where people only consider female characters interesting if they reject femininity

We don’t know enough to hate Elain

Many people want Elain to turn evil (which in my opinion seems to come from a place of internalized misogyny)

However we don’t tend to talk about her faults, at least not publicly, as that has been, and still is, done to death, and I--personally, at least--find it much more fun to theorise about potentially interesting aspects of the overall plot, than dwell on negatives

And ultimately, I would be shocked if Elain has a more karmically-charged story than Nesta, considering that Elain’s “wrongs” are so much less severe and bad than Nesta’s, and Elain has already apologized for them (or paid the price in other ways, like through what Graysen did)

I guess I also think Elain has suffered and been punished enough. I hope her story is about finding hope in terrible situations, and learning to love her new life, and choosing her own path after everything that has been done to her. I don’t think she needs to be punished anymore or face any additional trauma

Also, why is she being judged on her decisions as a human at all? Fae are monsters to humans! They enslaved them for thousands of years, and the Wall was erected to keep them out

Like I’m sorry, but think Elain would want to leave her ONLY FAMILY AND FRIENDS for the Spring Court where she has no one because--oh look, lots of flowers!--is the craziest thing I have ever heard

Her sisters are in the Night Court. Her nephew is in the Night Court. Her closest friends (Nuala and Cerridwen) are in the Night Court. Her love interest is in the Night Court. Her extended family is in the Night Court. Her home is in the Night Court

SJM isn’t going to keep two sisters together and split up the third. Especially not keep Feyre and Nesta together and separate Elain. They were either all going to end up in separate places, or together. Not 2 here and 1 there

Compared to the other female characters in the series, Elain is the only character whose femalehood is at the center of conversations; this is because arguments in the Elriel fandom fixate on it when discussing her character. While Elain, Feyre, Nesta, and Mor are all representations of white womanhood and white beauty, Elain epitomizes the most fragile version of white womanhood. It’s easy to blame society’s perception of traditional female characters in comparison to non-traditional female characters when it comes to the discourse surrounding Elain’s character because it: falls in line with the fixation on Elain’s femalehood to silence opposing viewpoints; is a simplistic explanation that fails to tackle the underlying issues with Elain as a character, the same issues that are downplayed in-universe; absolves Elain of her wrongdoings; prevents the ACOTAR fandom from holding Elain accountable for her actions and inactions within the series; and diminishes the impact Elain’s actions and inactions have on those around her. It’s not that Elain is hated in the fandom because she’s a traditional female character; it’s the fact that arguments in the Elriel fandom deflect a critical analysis of Elain’s character because she’s a traditional female character who embodies the ideal white woman in need of protection. White fans and white-aligned fans of color, especially white women, have a tendency to vehemently defend, gatekeep, and coddle white female characters in fandom; this makes it difficult for other fans to engage in critical discussions about these white female characters because they’re viewed as flawless and all around perfect characters despite evidence to the contrary. Since Elain is viewed positively by the other characters in the series, it has rendered her character untouchable to any perceived slight or criticism in fandom discussions because those negative opinions challenge what has been said about her character thus far. And as a result, her character has been placed on a pedestal and implicitly hailed as the epitome of white womanhood; and when she’s criticized, it’s seen as a direct attack against white womanhood. Arguments in the Elriel fandom: exploit feminist language and perpetuate white feminist tactics under the guise of defending Elain’s character; center Elain in conversations about female oppression in the ACOTAR world and uphold white feminist ideologies in their critique of ACOTAR’s patriarchal society; and use the fragile white woman narrative to victimize Elain in Lucien’s presence, playing into racial biases that are associated with white supremacy’s defense of white womanhood.

Feminism is a social movement that seeks to promote equality and equity to all genders, and feminists work toward eradicating gender disparities on a macro-level, in addition to challenging gender biases on a micro-level. As feminism became more mainstream, a flat and oversimplified version of feminism emerged: mainstream feminism. The mainstream feminist movement is meant to represent all women, but rarely does it center conversations around issues that concern most women. The problem with mainstream feminism is that it’s just a popularized version of white feminism. White feminism has relied extensively on an individualized understanding of women’s oppression, exclusively from the lens of privileged white women. White feminism only focuses on the oppression experienced by white, able-bodied, affluent, educated, cishet women; and it views gender as the key mode of privileged white women’s oppression, isolated from the privileges granted by their other social identities. White women can be and are oppressed under the patriarchy but only because they are women; their identity as women does not exempt them from the privileges granted by their whiteness. The term white feminist does not mean any feminist who is white, but refers to feminists who prioritize the concerns of privileged white women as though they are representative of all women. However, the term is not exclusive to white people. Because white feminism is so pervasive, people of other racial and ethnic backgrounds often buy into white feminism, believing that if they work hard enough, they may be able to reap its rewards.

Just like white feminism, mainstream feminism only recognizes the identity of being a woman, assumes that all women share common experiences of gender oppression, fails to address other social identities in relation to overlapping systems of oppression, and disregards privilege in relation to various social identities. Just like white feminism, mainstream feminism is palatable because it doesn’t seek to challenge the systems in place, instead its goal is to succeed within them. Essentially, mainstream feminism and white feminism are extensions of performative feminism. Performative feminism is a type of performative activism that’s used to describe feminist views that are surface level and solely for the benefit of one type of person. It’s a pretense which often has nothing to do with genuine activism. Arguments in the Elriel fandom normalize and promote performative feminism because the topic of feminism is only referenced when discussing Elain. This indicates that these arguments are engaging in disingenuous discourse to push a personal agenda within the ACOTAR fandom, and it becomes more apparent when they use white feminist tactics to shut down opposing viewpoints:

White feminists weaponize and exploit feminist language to silence the opinions of other women, especially when they’re called out for their problematic behaviors

White feminists use the phrase “Women supporting women” to defend other white feminists who exhibit problematic behaviors instead of holding them accountable

White feminists weaponize phrases like “Women supporting women” and “You just hate women” to attack other women who disagree with them on any given topic

White feminists use phrases like “All women face challenges” and “Stop pitting women against each other” to sidestep conversations about privilege

White feminists divert conversations away from privilege and towards the Trauma Olympics to equate their struggles to the oppression of marginalized people

White feminists skirt around the realities of other forms of oppression and discrimination, downplaying the experiences of marginalized people

White feminists diminish or ignore the ways in which gender oppression affects other marginalized people

White feminists paint those they harmed as aggressive, mean, or divisive when confronted with the ways they have harmed a marginalized group

White feminists deflect criticism by focusing on the anger or emotions being expressed rather than the issue that is being discussed, invalidating the concerns of marginalized people

White feminists speak over marginalized voices in an attempt to sound “woke”

White feminists get defensive and insist there’s no way they could be a part of the problem because of what they’ve done to help marginalized groups already

White feminists say they don’t see color in an attempt to obscure racial issues that need to be addressed

White feminists center and victimize themselves in conversations about racism, which derails necessary conversations from taking place

White feminists who are white weaponize the intersectionality of their race and gender to avoid accountability

Feminism is not meant to be approached from an individualistic perspective nor is it only about addressing the experiences of privileged white women, it involves addressing the intersections of race, class, gender, sexuality, (dis)ability, and other social identities as well; and it involves addressing how these social identities relate to privilege. Moreover, feminism is not about women upholding complete loyalty to other women because of a shared gender identity, and to claim that it does implies that women should be held to different emotional standards than men. If men are able to dislike and criticize other individual men, real or fictional, without their characters being compromised, why aren’t women granted that same privilege?

It’s clear that SJM set up the ACOTAR world to mirror a patriarchal society, and that the imbalance of power between males and females stems from sexism. Arguments in the Elriel fandom analyze the ACOTAR world through a feminist lens to show how ACOTAR’s patriarchal society, to which the mating bond is innately tied, contributes to female oppression and limits their agency. When choice and free will are emphasized as part of Elain’s arc, they imply that Elain, through the mating bond, experiences female oppression under ACOTAR’s patriarchal society because of her identity as a female with that identity being the focal point of her oppression in the world. Elain is one of the most privileged characters in the ACOTAR world: she’s High Fae; she’s the sister of the High Lord and High Lady of the Night Court, which gives her access to wealth and political influence because of that connection; she’s able-bodied; she was magically blessed by the Cauldron; and she lives in Velaris, a place that grants females autonomy and power because of the beliefs of Rhysand and Feyre. Arguments in the Elriel fandom trivialize female oppression in the ACOTAR world because they disregard the fact that Elain’s privileges prevent her from experiencing female oppression in the same way that other marginalized females in the world do. The mating bond being one such example because those around Elain are not forcing the bond on her, instead they’re allowing Elain to reach a decision about the bond for herself; a privilege that other marginalized females in the world probably wouldn’t have. Just because Elain has endured hardships in her life and is a female in a patriarchal society, they do not erase the privileges she holds within the ACOTAR world. The failure to include Elain’s privileges in discussions about Elain being a female in a patriarchal society feeds into white feminist ideologies because white feminism operates from a very narrow perspective; it doesn’t take other intersecting identities into account when it examines gender oppression, leaving no room for discussions about privilege (or lack thereof) in relation to those intersecting identities. When discussing oppression in hierarchical societies, it’s imperative that privilege is also included in the conversation because privilege and oppression are not mutually exclusive; they equally affect the ways in which people navigate those societies through their social identities.

Rather than attributing Elain’s uncomfortability to her new life as a Fae female or the mating bond itself and her trauma to the Cauldron, the King of Hybern, or Ianthe, they’re placed on Lucien to cast his character in a negative light. Moreover, fandom discussions portray Lucien as a possessive character to further emphasize Elain’s discomfort despite the inaccuracy of this characterization in canon. Arguments in the Elriel fandom play into racial biases when it comes to Lucien (a male character of color) because they mischaracterize his character in order to victimize Elain (a white female character), placing her character in the role of the white damsel in distress. In Western society, the concept of womanhood has been conceptualized from a Eurocentric perspective with femininity and feminine attributes favoring white women. It’s the idea that a certain type of femininity is only inherent to white women as they are seen as the embodiment of an ideal womanhood. White womanhood has been a symbol of innocence and purity, and white women have been viewed as fragile beings in need of protection. The reason white womanhood functions within white supremacy is because it’s the same idea that has motivated white men to kill and beat black and brown men. The so-called protection of white women has been used as a justification for the horrific violence committed by white men because black and brown men were stereotyped as aggressive and seen as a threat to the virtue of white women. The white damsel in distress trope considered white women as worthy of protection because of their perceived innocence and purity; women of color were not granted that same treatment because they did not fit into the ideal image of womanhood. Over the years, this trope became a means for white women to exercise limited power in a patriarchal society with white women weaponizing their status as the damsel much to the detriment of black and brown men. It’s through the white damsel in distress trope that white supremacy sustains its dominance in Western society. The misrepresentation of characters of color in fandom, the dismissal of their importance to the overall story, and using them as tools in arguments centered around white characters are the foundation of fandom racism; they’re examples of how racism moves silently in fandom spaces. Instead of examining their behavior and taking constructive criticism from fans of color, white fans will often double down on their bigotry and center their uncomfortability in the conversation when confronted with their complicity in fandom racism. White fans expect fans of color to swallow fandom racism in its many forms in order to not ruin the experience of fandom, dismissing the fact that racism is prevalent in nearly every aspect of society. This mentality ensures that no one is held accountable for the harm they caused and alienates fans of color in fandom spaces.

To reiterate what I mentioned in my first think piece: terms like “oppression”, “the right to choose”, “feminist”, “feminism”, “anti-feminist”, “anti-feminism”, “internalized misogyny”, “misogyny”, “misogynist”, “sexist”, “sexism”, “racist”, “racism”, “classist”, “classism”, “discrimination”, and “patriarchy” are all used in specific ways to draw attention to the plight of marginalized people and challenge those who deny the existence of systems of oppression. Yet these words and their meanings can be twisted to attack, exclude, and invalidate people with differing opinions on any given topic. When social justice and feminist terms are thrown around antagonistically and carelessly to push a personal agenda, it becomes clear that these terms are being used to engage in disingenuous discourse and pursue personal validation rather than being used out of any deep-seated conviction to dismantle systemic oppression. Being an ally, activist, or feminist is not an identity, it’s a practice. It requires: ongoing self-reflection; holding ourselves accountable; listening to marginalized people; educating ourselves; dismantling implicit biases; challenging those around us who are exhibiting problematic behaviors; and action behind our words.

It’s important to be aware of the language that is used within the fandom when defending or critiquing characters and ships. It’s also important to question how an argument is framed and why it’s framed the way that it is to critically examine the intent behind that argument: is it used as a tool to push a personal agenda that reinforces problematic behaviors, or is it used as an opportunity to share, learn, enlighten, and educate?

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Tagging: @spell-cleavers @bookofmirth @m0bulidae @ilya-boltagon

#elain archeron #elriel #acotar fandom #acotar: fandom critical

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bstudies · 3 years

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Pick an umbrella word. A word that embraces how you want to feel, what you want to become. Your word is probably connected to what you're struggling with right now. Find an umbrella word for your year, your quarter or even your month. Really try to understand how you're really feeling. You shouldn't be setting any goals w/o a clear why behind it. This helps clarify what goals you want to achieve and increases your motivation to do so.

Make life clarifying activities. These are essentially big brainstorm sessions that could become goals.

Start and Stop List: Make a timer for 30 mins and take two pages and write two lists. One with the things you want to start doing, and another with the things you want to stop and the branch out to ways you can start and stop those things.

The Antivision: An exercise where you try to picture what your life will look like in 3-5 years down if you don't take any of the actions that you want to take. Then turn it around and try to figure out the ways you can prevent this vision from coming to life.

The Perfect Day Exercise: Write what your ideal day would look like. Your morning routine, the little details in your life that excite you to wake up early, how you feel going to bed at night, what you do for work, etc.

Brainstorm. What are you avoiding? What makes you feel good, and should you be doing it more? What goals could you accomplish that, having done that, would make everything else easier or unnecessary? These goals will either: (a) create more time in your life allowing you to work on your goals and making them easier or unnecessary; (b) give you more money, so you can spend it on more meaningful things (long-term); (c) creating more energy in your life, so you have more time for other goals.

Decide what goals you want to pursue. Have one most important goal and two mini goals. You don't need to pursue all the goals you brainstormed - in fact, that is where most people fail when setting goals, because doing so is impossible and leads to failure. Give yourself 13 weeks or a quarter to achieve them. These goals are short-termed and, as such, help increase your motivation to achieve them. They also allow you to be flexible, since setting goals in January for a whole year could contribute to goals that in December no longer interest you (e.g. in January you decided to follow a Keto diet, but by December you've realized that intuitive eating is the best approach), so that's why this time frame is perfect.

Q: How doable your goals realistically. If you put in the effort, will you be able to achieve them?

Q: How impactful is this goal? Will it matter in 3 years time?

Q: How challenged do you feel by your goal?

Measure these questions on a scale of 1-10.

Create an outcome vision. Get highly specific on how you want your outcome to look like. You shouldn't be setting off to achieve your goals without having a clear idea of exactly what you want. What outcome is going to feel the best?

Detach yourself from the outcome. Focus more on the process of achieving your goal, on how you want to feel as your achieving your goal. Outline the present activities you want to focus on.

Creating a plan. What often looks like resistance, is actually a lack of clarity. Make clear what are the step by step actions you need to take next. This, however, does not need to happen once, but constantly, as re-clarifying your plan and next step actions is essential to continuing to take action. Firstly,

Map out the habits that will help bring your goals to life.

Map out the next action steps. Time creates fuzziness, so make sure you update it so it feels tuned to what you are right now and what you want to achieve.

Make clear what are the next few steps you need to take, not every single step. The point of a plan is to be helpful, and over-planning without action is not contributing to the achievement of the goals you set yourself.

Plan until you feel clarity. Then revisit it a few weeks or months afterwards when you need more clarity.

Staying consistent with your goals. This is the most difficult point of this list. Most people have no difficulty clarifying their action steps or planning how they want to achieve their goals. But the hard part is continuing to stay consistent even when it's been a long time since you created your plan.

Have an accountability partner: Find someone who holds you accountable, either on an online community, paying for a coach or by asking a friend. You meet every week, see how your goals are tracking and,

Do a weekly check-in: Ask yourself how you did in the last week and how you can improve. Don't focus on failures of will-power since it only leads to shame and prevents you from trying to find solutions that actually work. A weekly check-in should simply be a time of self-compassion and curiosity, that's it. Ask yourself why something isn't working, if there's something holding you back or what you could to differently to improve. We often don't look at all the possibilities that exist simply because we don't look enough. There's always another possibility, you just need to keep looking. Experimentation is essential to goals.

Daily or weekly plan with your goals in mind: If you aren't planning out your weeks with to-do's related to your goals, time blocking with chunks of time dedicated to working on your goals, they aren't getting done. Write your goals daily, so you don't forget them and remind yourself on why you're taking these action steps.

#productivity #goals #goal setting #studyblr #study #*#thank u muchelleb for being a godsend #if you want check out the original video!! it's around 27 mins long and super helpful

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trulyhumblenarcissist · 3 years

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Abourt Rei Himura and BNHA Chapter 301

Now that I've read the official release of chapter 301 I can finally try to gather my thoughts. I think this time the particular rendition of dialogues and inflections provided by Caleb Cook is more crisp and clear than usual, especially in throwing "shade" upon Endeavor as a father figure. But let's do things in order...

Title: THE WRONG WAY TO PUT OUT A FIRE - a simple, but stark message that doesn't leave space for ambiguity. There was a fire, an imminent tragedy that could and should have been avoided, but whoever tried to fix it, did it all wrong and now we have to deal with a huge arson.

CARLESS HANDLING OF FIRE, on the other hand, doesn't quite cut it for me, because it seems like everything was caused by a foolish mistake. "I was carless and now I'm in a pinch"- type of situation, while it's perfectly clear that Endeavor and Rei decided purposefully which "strategy" to use with Touya. A BAD one to say it lightly. Rei's contribution and complicity is debatable, of course, and I'll touch on this later.

Let me get this clear though: I'm not trying in any way to critique the hard work of unofficial translators. I can't say anything relevant because I'm not a translator in the first place (I can barely understand English and my native language on a good day) and also because I am so grateful for everything they do in order to give us really good material FREE OF CHARGE basically a second after the release in Japan. I'm just interested about the different shades of subtext we can catch if we read the story through multiple filters. Every translation is unique because it carries the personal spin of the author even if the bias should be inexistent or ideally undetectable...

However, back to the chapter

REI'S CAGE

The first scene opens on a luxurious classic Japanese villa, with Enji, Rei and her parents discussing the motivation behind Enji's proposal. Or at least we initially think that's what's going on... Because in reality Rei's family couldn't care less about the motivation. Everything these people see is a wealthy, famous guy the next number one hero ready to take their daughter in marriage. I guess the Himuras are pretty broke, thight on cash, their old prestige is definitely gone and all they can do to save themselves from shame and poverty is "to sell" their only remaining asset.

During the whole ordeal, Rei is standing still, silent, cold as ice. She knows she doesn't really have a choice. How mortifying and sad is this? An adult, capable woman has no agency whatsoever, she is used again and again and she stoically accepts this treatment from every single dominant figure in her life until she can't be stoic anymore. I really hope Horikoshi's going to give her a much more proactive role in saving her family and it seems the narrative wants us to expect this type of character development.

I'd like to point out 2 panels in particular:

First one

In this scene the Todorokis are back from their trip to the doc, who clearly said they shouldn't try to conceive a child with a perfect quirk mix because it is dangerous (and morally questionable too). Rei understands this fact and tries to dissuade Enji, but he doesn't listen, because he's projecting all his pent-up resentment and frustration onto Touya. He knows how it feels to crush against an unbreakable wall, since he can't surpass All might and his son can't too. He had to learn this truth the hard way, so Touya needs to do the same. Enji is purposefully throwing upon his son years of failures, self consciousness and despair, just because the boy has to get it into his thick skull that he is a dud, just like his father. This is not a hopeless dad making a mistake bona fide, this is a broken man trying to destroy his self reflection by proxy, annihilating everything Touya is, swiping the kid's identity under the rug. He describes his son's dreams and sadness as something birthed from stubbornness. He is auto-convincing himself however (because Endeavor is not stupid). A little bit later he's basically saying: "Touya let's play make believe! We can go on like everything I had engulfed in your psyche never existed, you're a failed attempt so you don't exist. Your needs and wants are silly and useless, nothing worth dealing with now that I can't make you my prodigy. Why don't you go play with the other failures so that I don't have to look at myself while taking actually care of you. I don't want to see you, because it's too painful, because you're a remainder of my own inadequacy."

Note: If you want to read an incredibly well done analysis about Endeavor's motives and psyche, you can get it on @thyandrawrites , she's dwelt on everything extensively and way better than me.

I really want to talk about Rei though. In the panel I showed above, her expression is a bit tricky to analyse. At first she is very vocal about her position. She doesn't want to put Touya through useless suffering, especially since they have a scientific reason not to. They have no guarantee of success with other children, besides, they could possibly have to deal with other health related issues. However, all it takes to convince her in the end is Enji's half assed attempt at the "It's for Touya's sake" shtick. Is it really? Why doesn't she question her husband anymore?

Well... I think before Natsuo, she was probably hoping Touya would let go "naturally", with time and growth, maybe by taking interest in his other siblings. Rei said she wanted to have more children because in her mind they would have supported and loved each other. Maybe she was naive enough to think that a big family full of kids few years apart from each other was all Touya needed to distract himself from his purposes... BUT and here is the point I want to get across: She was deluding herself too, much like Enji. The ugly truth, in my opinion, is that Rei is a person prone to protect herself by going with everything other people want, especially if said people are capable of hurting her. Yes, she was hurt time and time again, but what would have happened if she really tried to stop Enji?

What I am trying to say is that Rei is the kind of person who endures to survive. She holds a "captive" mentality in which, by indulging her captor's desires, she can continue living with less possibile damage. If I stay still and silent, if I don't make a scene, I can go on, I can hold onto the few things I have that actually make me happy.

Let's think about it... Enji was so obsessed with his psychotic, power-hungry quest that he would have probably disown Rei. She would have been thrown away for a more compliant woman with an ice quirk, or something similar, this resulting in her probably losing everything, the respect and love of her family (the Himuras) and also her own children. Because we know Endeavor can definitely hold a grudge and is vendicative.

So, clarifying, Rei doesn't put up a fight because she is scared for herself in a way... She is scared to be hurt in the worst possible way (by losing her little bit of serenity), so her strategy is to endure and to keep up a facade of control and purpose.

Rei, ironically just like Touya and other characters in mha, doesn't really get what unconditional love is. Her family loves her until she can be useful to the Himura name and status, her husband loves her for her quirk. Her children, however, love her for who she is and she wants to stay with them... Only to be forced to leave them later anyway.

The few times Rei actually smiles are when she is with her babies. She is a deeply loving mother in her core, but her declining mental health makes her a very lacking caregiver.

This panel, in my opinion, shows the point of no return for Rei. She can't keep the glacial facade forever...

After Natsuo's turn to be deemed a failure, Endeavor is crazier than ever, because All Might is as popular and loved as ever and he hasn't make any progress into his eugenetic games. The last two images of Rei are very telling. She is exhausted, but she knows what her husband wants from her this time too. She looks like a lifeless doll and honestly I can easily see Shouto's conception as... Non consensual and I will stop here.

Then Shouto is born, the last, perfect specimen... And Rei isn't doing much for Touya, we can see she's apparently blind towards her eldest son's distress already after Natsuo's birth... But why?

Because she is actively avoiding to face the Touya's problems too.

If Touya is still suffering, is still feeling stressed and worthless, then everything Rei has endured, everything she pretended not to feel for the sake of her family has been completely useless. What Rei cannot look at is her own parental failure, is the concrete proof that while protecting herself and her peace she did not protect her children too, because the two interests were never really aligned, even if she really believed so. She never had a functional family to preserve in the first place and everything she accepted to do was all for the sake of a false sense of belonging.

However is too easy to say she should've rebelled against Enji and dumped his sorry ass. Abuse traps you and your abuser too in a cage tricky to escape.

What I imagine will happen next chapter is one of two things:

Enji stops Touya by using brute force, probably also saying something really scarring to reinforce the notion that Shouto is the only child he cares about.

Rei stops Touya by using her quirk. This act could be considered by Touya another confirmation that even his mother actually does something by her own accord only when Shouto's safety is at risk

Necessary conclusions

I don't blame Rei for her actions too much. She is a victim turned abuser by circumstances, but more importantly she's actually taken mesures to prevent herself from hurting her children again. She's trying to heal for her family's sake, really this time. Ten years spent dealing with guilt and having actual therapy seem a good plan to me. And now she's the one ready to snap Enji back to reality.

Enji, on the other hand, is trying too. It's too little too late, but if he stops avoiding reality and hardly works on understanding his family's point of view I don't think he is completely unredeemable. I don't see him surviving his last confrontation with Touya, thought... But I could be totally wrong.

Obviously everything I've said it's my personal analysis on Rei's character, as I interpret her actions and words, so feel free to contradict me and/or to add anything you might see fit.

#bnha301 #bnha meta #mha #my hero academia #todoroki enji #endevor #todoroki rei #rei himura #todoroki family #tw abuse

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woman-loving · 3 years

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Impacts of Attitudes Toward Bisexuals: Passing, Denial, and Invisibility

Selection from "Inside, Outside, Nowhere: Bisexual Men and Women in the Gay and Lesbian Community," Kirsten McLean, Journal of Bisexuality, 8, 1-2, 2008

Knowledge of the exclusion of bisexual men and women within the gay and lesbian community has a significant impact on bisexual men and women who look to this community for support. Many of the participants in my research were well aware that bisexuality was not seen favorably by some members of the gay and lesbian community, and though they participated in parts of the community, they were well aware that revealing their bisexuality could be a problem in certain spaces. Several participants who participated in the gay and lesbian community acknowledged the difficulties of telling some gay men and lesbians they were bisexual, and said they often hid their bisexuality and let others assume they were lesbian or gay.Barbara (age 54) admitted to letting assumptions that she was a lesbian slide for fear of exclusion: “I wouldn’t dare deny people’s assumptions that I am a lesbian, because I’d be alienated. I just want to blend in.” Fiona (age 26) was more explicit, telling people she was lesbian rather than bisexual: “I say I’m a lesbian, but I’m not really proud of that at all. I feel it’s about how I’m positioning myself at the time, and I’m going there because I like girls, not because I like guys. But it could backfire one day.” Aaron (age 23) preferred the rather ambiguous term of queer in some contexts: “If it’s the campus group, I identify first as queer and second as bisexual. Sometimes people assume I’m gay and it’s not an issue. I don’t correct them anymore, although I used to.”

Several of these participants acknowledged that passing as gay or lesbian compromised their sense of identity as bisexual but felt it was necessary to avoid being ostracised from the gay and lesbian community altogether. Nathan (age 22) expressed this well when he said: “I feel a lot of the time I have to hide my bisexuality to be a part of the community. I guess I’m not really being honest about who I am. I find a lot of gay men are really misogynistic, which makes me uncomfortable—and less likely to come out as bi to them.” Hiding one’s bisexuality when participating in the gay or lesbian communities is nothing new; in their research conducted in the 1970s, Blumstein and Schwartz (1976a, b) found that bisexual men and women often reacted to hostility from the homosexual community by suppressing their bisexuality, or at the very least their interests in the opposite sex. Recent research argues that being aware of negative stereotypes of bisexual people sometimes discouraged bisexual women from self-identifying as bisexual for fear of loss of legitimacy and efficacy, fear of shame, and fear of negative consequences. This in turn sustains the invisibility and “cultural anonymity” of bisexual women (Ault, 1996, p. 318).

Some of the participants in my research preferred to “blend in” with the gay and lesbian community by passing as gay or lesbian, or let assumptions of being gay or lesbian slide without challenging the truthfulness of these assumptions. However, others stated that if they were asked, they would identify themselves as bisexual. For example, one female participant said: “Normally I would let people make their own decisions about me and I wouldn’t hide my male partner, but I wouldn’t volunteer that I have one straight away” (Sharon, age 31). Few of the participants in my research who were involved in the gay and lesbian community openly identified as bisexual within the gay and lesbian community or challenged assumptions that they were gay or lesbian. Instead, maintaining a gay or lesbian persona was seen as necessary to protect oneself from judgement, discrimination,and conflict with others in the gay and lesbian community.

Not being truthful about one’s bisexuality, however, creates significant issues for bisexual men and women. Having different personas, often with conflicting values and ideas, and having to act in different ways in different contexts, does little to help maintain a healthy bisexual identity (McLean,2001). Furthermore, dishonesty or secrecy about “key areas of one’s life create a distance from other people, preventing potentially enriching experiences” (George, 1993, p. 104). This is an issue of some concern in light of recent Australian research by Jorm, Korten, Rodgers, Jacomb, and Christensen (2002) that found that bisexuals overall have a lower level of mental health as compared with homosexuals and heterosexuals.

The researchers inferred that feelings of stigma or experiences of discrimination, which were not measured, may play a part in this.The health effects described above are only one possible consequence of repressing one’s bisexual identity. Israel and Mohr (2004) argued that antibisexual attitudes themselves can have negative impacts on bisexuals:

“Negative attitudes create a context of hostility for bisexual men and women than can affect many areas of their lives. ... Such experiences with negative attitudes may adversely affect mental health and well-being of bisexual individuals. ... Internalization of such negative attitudes by bisexual individuals may create a barrier to developing a positive bisexual identity.” (p. 119)

Research on antibisexual attitudes towards bisexual women argues that these “cast doubt on the existence of authentic bisexual experience and identity by providing alternative explanations for apparent bisexuality” (Rust, 1993, p. 226). These doubts can also be internalised by bisexual men and women via what Weinberg et al. (1994) called “continued uncertainty” that can persist even after accepting that one is bisexual. According to Weinberg et al., this “continued uncertainty” is expressed in the frequent questioning of the validity of one’s bisexual identity and continual doubts about whether one is “really” bisexual. Furthermore, support and understanding are crucial to the development and maintenance of a healthy bisexual identity. Allowing people to assume one is heterosexual, gay, or lesbian rather than bisexual means that one cannot begin to find the support,acceptance, and validation necessary to develop a fully integrated sexual identity. Without this, many bisexual men and women continue to feel uncertain, embarrassed, ashamed, or guilty about their emotional and/or sexual attractions to men and women.

CONCLUSION Although participants in my research were more likely to go to community events and gay and lesbian nightclubs than get involved in gay and lesbian groups, there are also large numbers of gay men and lesbians who do not actively participate in the gay and lesbian community. The reason for such low levels of participation by Australian bisexual men and women in the Australian gay and lesbian community, however, could be attributed to the antibisexual attitudes that were considered, by many participants, to exist in the gay and lesbian community. It could be suggested that participants’ ambivalence towards the gay and lesbian community may have come from a perception that they would be excluded or discriminated against because they were bisexual, not merely because of a lack of interest in participation.

Bisexual men and women are therefore less likely to participate in a space where it is known that others have experienced rejection, or where they envisage they may be unwelcome. When participants did get involved in the gay and lesbian community, their experiences were mixed, and participants held considerable fears and suspicions about the attitudes of members of the Australian gay and lesbian community towards bisexuality as a whole. As a result, few had direct contact with gay men and lesbians in organizational or community group settings with which to experience positive reinforcement or acceptance of their bisexuality.

The belief that bisexuality is not accepted within the Australian gay and lesbian community also explains why many participants in my research preferred to “blend” into the gay and lesbian community; when attending events and festivals, or going out on the gay and lesbian scene, participants were assumed to be lesbian or gay (or sometimes, heterosexual), and few challenged these assumptions. Participants felt that openly identifying as bisexual among gay men and lesbians would lead to them being ostracized, or denied a space in which to express their same-sex desires in a safe and supportive environment. The risk of losing access to that space was seen as far greater than any risks associated with suppressing and hiding their bisexuality. As a consequence, the tendency for bisexual men and women to suppress their identity to fully participate in the gay and lesbian community reinforces the idea that bisexuality does not exist in the first place—therefore confirming the illegitimacy of bisexual identity as a whole. This significantly contributes to the invisibility of bisexuality on the sexual landscape and also has a number of implications, beyond the scope of this article, on the ability for bisexual men and women to activate for greater inclusion within the gay and lesbian community.

Overall, the participants in my research had a complex relationship with the Australian gay and lesbian community. By participating in the gay and lesbian community either by “passing” as gay or lesbian or letting assumptions of homosexuality slide, they were able to gain “insider” status in that community by being seen to identify in the same way as other members of this group. However, a revelation of their bisexuality within this context was seen to put this “insider” status at risk, and therefore participants were often involved in the gay and lesbian community without being completely honest about their bisexuality, as well as other elements of their lives such as their relationships. As a result, participants also played the role of “outsider,” making it difficult for them to feel a real sense of belonging in the gay and lesbian community. The “catch-22” of these tensions is that by believing they would not be fully accepted by the gay and lesbian community, many of the bisexual men and women interviewed were reluctant to participate in this community in the first place, at least on more than a social level, and many harbored rather ambivalent feelings about the gay and lesbian community itself—thus reinforcing their status as “outsiders” to the gay and lesbian community.

#bisexuality #biphobia #australia

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vital-information · 3 years

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We need to make some updates when it comes to resources and descriptions of abusive and coercive relationships... - the majority focus on old-school traditional hetero relationship dynamics. I’m not even just referring to ignoring queer relationships (which I’ll discuss in a different bullet point). Straight relationships have pretty dramatically shifted in their expectations and dynamics over the years. I would expect that the limiting of women’s career options by a partner are way less often focused on housewife duties, since it’s more broadly expected that women contribute to the financial needs of the household. This also means that financial and social power are increasingly available to women, which should make us more sensitive to the potential for men’s abasement, especially since they lack the publicity and institutional supports that might help them when they’ve lost all sense of self.

- they often focus on active language to explain what a partner might do to abuse or coerce. meanwhile, they ignore the fact that many of these experiences and patterns - isolation, self-sacrificing, financial overgenerosity, self-criticism, shame - might already exist for the victimized partner. in fact, these qualities might be attractive to someone in need of a person to blame and control. entering into a relationship with this groundwork means that much of the so-called ‘coercion’ or ‘abuse’ is happening simply because the abusive partner let’s it happen. more concerned with themselves than their partner’s frighteningly beaten down sense of self, they take advantage of their partners. while they maybe didn’t have to do the work to put their partners in these sad states of mind, the abusers make no effort to help their partners out of these holes, because it serves them to have them this low.

- a whole slew of ways are missing with which social justice, racial, and queer politics have been adapted to degrade partners. check out this list and this article for more depth on that. Suffice to say, no matter the societal power dynamics and identities, in a relationship it is each person’s responsibility to uplift their partner(s) and their needs and to be held accountable for their actions.

- the term abuser is used like a permanent identifier, when it’s actually looser and more temporary. i get the point of this gesture. we need to label clearly the actions and the actor are at fault, so those suffering can trust that advice to leave. one of the preventatives to that departure is often the sense these ‘victims’ have that the abuser or manipulator has a good heart and can change. the thing is, the research really backs up that these so-called ‘victims’ are right about that. they actually have an appropriate grasp on a positive core in this person. the problem is that the abuser cannot and will not learn to embody the full potential of the positives in this relationship. the boundaries are too ruptured. the psychological need and attachment to the other person as an outlet is too strong. and that applies to the abused person, as well. both will need to redevelop their sense of an independent self and address how to appropriately be with others, and those things just aren’t gonna happen with each other.

- they paint a demurring portrait of so-called ‘victims,’ but many people who are abused and coerced put up a fight. in the face of their partner’s manipulative and controlling tactics, they will often try some of them themselves as retaliation. someone who hits back after their attacked might not be enlightened and liberating anyone, but we certainly view their circumstances differently than the person who attacked first. abused partners are often racked with guilt over these practices, which makes them wonder whether they themselves are abusive and also renders them reticent to seek and accept help as ‘victims.’ (I actually think I, Tonya did an astounding job of showing this kind of dynamic). People sometimes feel a desire for the put-downs and abuse, too. This does not free their partner from doing their best to consider and support their overall well-being (beyond simply their stated desires).

- demands are made to define who is the abuser and who is the victim and who ought to be seeking help. If one is in a relationship where coercive and/or abusive tactics are happening and you feel guilt, sadness, heartbreak, etc. IT DOES NOT MATTER WHETHER YOU ARE THE ABUSER OR THE VICTIM. That is your sign to reach out, seek help, talk to therapists, social workers, hotlines, friends, family, coworkers, shelters. It’s disrupting the dynamic and rebuilding your connection to the world that is important. why shouldn’t the instigator have a passing moment of clarity in which they try to make a change? yeah, maybe it’s less likely, but that’s what partners do. they see someone they care about struggling and their relationship feeling out of whack and they try to create a change that might be challenging but the best for everyone.

#mental health #abuse recovery #mental health tag #recovery #depression #abuse

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herecomesnaya · 3 years

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I love how YOU are apparently speaking for all sex workers, meanwhile the numerous women who exited the industry and are now anti-prostitution are "Fox news bullshit".

Also... the absolute lack of nuance. I didn't say those other industries are great. I said sex work is so much worse its honestly uncomparable. Yes almost all jobs under capitalism are bad for your mental health, but none of the others have rates of Post Traumatic Stress Disorders higher than people who were in active military duty. (According to some stats its 40-55% for sw vs ca. 10% for military)

Also, its funny that you bring up loggers as an example, bc the actual most deadly profession in America is prostitution. They're not counted in the same statistics bc one is work accidents reported to labor bureaus and the others are (mostly) homicides (with some overdoses and suicides mixed in). The risk for prostituted women is 3-4 times higher.

(I know ur gonna say u could vet all of that away if only there was no stigma but a) does that do anything for women less fortunate than you, who dont have the time to vet? b) why are the current rates so high if vetting works?)

Also love the assumption that all anti-prostitution ppl are right wing when Marx himself opposed it. Like, it's in the communist manifesto.

1) relying on people who were in the industry and are anti-sw now is like relying on people who have gotten an abortion and regretted it for your abortion info. sex work is HARD work. it’s not for everyone. people are allowed to get out and be regretful. what they’re not allowed to do is shame and delegitimize the people who still choose to do it.

2) you’re doing a lot of correlation = causation here. those numbers don’t account for how many SWers go into the industry with PTSD already in place. they don’t account for the toxic masculinity rampant in the military that prevents them from admitting they have mental illnesses, therefore skewing the numbers low. you can manipulate data all you want, but that doesn’t make it the full picture.

3) and your solution is? surely you must have a solution for this. oh, wait, your solution is to shame sex workers and put quotes around “work” as if what they do isn’t work. I’m sure that helps the suicide rates a ton!

also, I’m not sure what you’re getting at with your last bit. less fortunate than me, who don’t have time to vet? are you saying it’s privileged now to take precautions? are you saying it’s somehow the fault of the industry that some people are disprivileged in that way? because again, that’s not a sex work specific thing.

and the vetting isn’t the only issue here. I have this feeling you think that I mean “vetting on places like adultwork makes sex work risk-free.” do you think I’m stupid? you must, if you’re making those assumptions.

what you’re sidestepping is that currently, there’s a ton of stigma and laws around sex work that directly contribute to those rates. stigma you’re perpetuating without telling me what the magical better alternative to sex work is.

4) you’re doing a lot of implying that all sex work is the same here. the differences between fssw and pro domming and GFE and content creation and pornography are staggering, and I’ve never said I’m speaking for all of them, but you sure seem to throw them all under the same “sex work bad! sex work make you die!!!” umbrella. again: educate yourself.

5) you don’t have to be an out-and-out republican to parrot right-wing talking points. also, I don’t really care what a 19th century anti-Semite says about prostitution, if we’re being totally candid here. maybe a man from the 1800s... doesn’t have the most progressive and educated views on the subject? this must be shocking to you, I know!

anyway, I know you don’t think sex work is legitimate work because you’ve been fed lies that all sex work involves people being kidnapped in a Walmart parking lot and sent overseas as Thai sex slaves, but that’s not my problem. take your concern trolling for marginalized people you don’t actually give a damn about elsewhere.

#ask #the shitscourse #Anonymous

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loadedtoast · 3 years

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36/F/NZ

I have grown weary of social media as of late. The kind of social media where everyone has an opinion regardless of its impact on others, where people can type things they wouldn’t say in person and perpetuate misinformation (I am pro-vaccination). I am also growing tired of the (barely) subliminal messaging I receive about diets and body image that troll my feeds.

But I am a social creature by my very nature. Aren’t we all?

My first blog title is a nod to my ASL (age, sex and location). It’s an ‘early internet thing’.

If you are my age, you will recall (hopefully) the advent of ICQ and MSN… The patience of waiting for dial up to connect – god forbid someone else was on the landline – after school so that you could connect with friends, strangers, potential cuties… The potential cuties however were (and still are) not always what they appear to be.

But I am not here to blog about dating. Or house prices. Or global warming, avocados or other woes facing the younger generations – am I still young?

I never thought I would say this. I want to talk about having kids.

I will declare upfront that I want for nothing. I am a reasonably successful, professional woman without kids. I own my own home (or at least half of it). I live a city lifestyle, am fit, healthy and have a wonderfully loving and respectful partner (you know, one of the types of guys that speaks up and isn’t threatened by independent and successful women) - A rarity for which I cherish more than the rest of the stuff I list above. I am sure I will write about it at some point, but he is the product of a single mother doing a fucking incredible job in the most challenging of circumstances. Hats off to her!

As I was saying. I want to talk about kids.

I have never wanted them. And now we (not I. We) want to dip our toes into the pool that an increasing number of 30-somethings decide to jump into …

I am grappling with so many things. Things that are unique to us females.

I spent my teenage years being actively taught more about how to cook, clean and be a good girlfriend than I did about my own body – stuff I am learning now in retrospect (also a probable, future blog). I went onto the pill as soon as I got my period. It was a ‘precaution’ (for whom?). I learned about my vagina because I suddenly needed to put something inside it (not for pleasure) to stop my monthly bleeding from causing me more shame than I already felt – because periods are a woman’s burden to be carried in secrecy, and to be joked about by guys when the emotions get the better of us… “on the rag?” “must be that time of the month…”.

I am now 36 and just starting to become woke (as the kids say it now).

My teenage years, I imagine, were not unique. I recall one sex ed class at high school (yes, just one hour) where we learned about sex leading to STIs (previously called STDs) and pregnancy. Pregnancy was the devil and needed to be prevented at all costs (health, time and concern - which the female generally absorbed).

We skipped the bit about consent, respect and two-way intimacy – I found out about those by trial and error.

I got through to my mid-20s and the rhetoric changed. Instead of those I looked to telling me babies were bad, suddenly, babies were all the rage. I had come out of university with my two degrees, ready for that promised career, and to travel and build the life I wanted.

I felt confused.

Now, I was never the ‘maternal type’. I wonder now if there is such a thing or if its just something that we are carefully manicured into thinking that it’s what we want all along. I never wanted baby dolls and prams as play toys. I wasn’t into pink and pretend kitchens. Instead, as a kid, I was into sports, horses and motorbikes. I climbed trees and played games that used my creativity and imagination.

So, when I reached my mid-20s and people started to ask me about when I wanted to ‘settle down and have kids’ I rejected the entire notion of it. I said I didn’t want kids. In fact, I was well known amongst my peers for saying I didn’t even like kids. Which to a point is true. I don’t like ALL kids. Some kids will not grow into good adults and I place the responsibility for that on nurture not nature. This may be controversial; however I wish to believe that we are all born into this world with the potential for good.

New-born babies were thrust into my arms, because you know, I will need practice… How come boys don’t have to hold babies? I felt awkward. Like I was rejecting something that I was ‘born and bred to do’. But I didn’t want it. Not then.

When I told people I didn’t want kids, they were shocked. Kind of like the shocked face of people when I tell them I don’t drink alcohol anymore – you know, culturally unacceptable behaviour by any Kiwi’s standards. This was quickly followed by, “Oh, you will want them one day… it will all change. Trust me”.

Patronizing much?

I can now say that I felt harassed in those moments. Let’s label it.

The questions and opinions I would get were unnecessary, unprovoked and unhelpful. I honestly wondered why everyone was so invested in my interest in procreating – more so than being interested in me as a person with my own wants and needs. I guess this was part of my training for being a mum. A call out to all the mums who work tirelessly – yes, work (you have a job and it’s the hardest job of all).

I stayed the course and purchased my own home, got a great job that I worked hard for (don’t we all work extra hard, ladies!) and I prepared myself for a life with no legacy (legacy, I learned from those closest to me, is achieved though children, not a career, when you are a woman).

And then I met this guy.

He wanted kids. I kept true to my long-held comms line (like the ‘no comment’) and said I didn’t. And then he did something that I will never forget…

He said it was my choice. My choice.

He asked me why I had made that choice – his right to do after disarming me. I said, without thinking, and for the very first time… “I’m scared”. Shit, no backing out of it now…

I was scared because alongside all of the rhetoric that is forced down our faces about motherhood were the truths. The home truths. The ones I had witnessed in person. I had seen and heard, that taught me all about the value of a woman when she becomes a mum.

Now – disclaimer – I am not saying that I never seen or heard good things about being a mum. But hell, I did see and hear more average things than good things.

I saw and heard about how all the females in my immediate sphere of trust had given their careers up (in the current trajectory that they were on or entirely) when they became mums. If they didn’t choose being a mum, they were falling short of society’s expectations. If they became a mum and chose a career over full time parenthood, they were ‘outsourcing’ their most important role - as a mum.

I saw and heard my mum take the lion’s share of parenting, putting herself last. I saw and heard her play the part of mum and dad while my dad built his career – for us. The career that was really for him – let’s be true, it was his dream he was pursuing, not mine and not hers. I saw and heard her be proud of others but not of herself. I saw and heard her cry, a lot.

FYI I am very proud of my dad and I love him to bits. He is human. So is my mum. They made choices, together, in parenting us, but those choices were not made by people with equal power in the relationship and subsequently the choices did not always (actually, very rarely) benefit mum as a whole person.

I saw and heard my mum find ways to make herself feel better. She was good at buying things she did not need or want.

I saw and heard my mum largely unsupported, doing a thankless job. A job that society places no tangible value on. If you become a mum, and take time out of the workforce (i.e. you leave your job) to raise a child, you are considered unemployed (i.e. you are negatively placed on the ‘books’ aka GDP – not an investment, not a value-add activity, but a cost – you know, that the Government carries).

Funnily enough, ‘unpaid work’ of which parenting falls into, is the single largest sector of our economy but it is unpaid and therefore under-valued. Mums and dads who parent, are not seen as contributing to the nation’s economy. Where does our future workforce come from again?

And then once my last sibling left home, so did my dad. My mum was alone.

Due to her lack of ‘work history’ she could not apply for a credit card – dad could. Mum oversaw the family business finances and ensured we were looked after but did not ‘take home a wage’. Dad did. So, as usual, mum missed out and just kept on missing out. I can’t help but feel incredibly shit for mum. For all women.

These things shape my views on becoming a mother.

As do my own personal experiences.

As bad as this sounds, mum made sure I was better off. I got an education; a good career and I was raised to be independent and to ‘hold my own’. Funnily enough, I don’t recall ever ‘learning’ to hold my own. It wasn’t a session at school, or a mother-daughter discussion. It wasn’t a workshop or a coaching session at work.

Sarah Everard.

I have been following, as many women are, Sarah’s story in the news right now. Well, I correct myself – it’s not her story. It’s the story of her demise, chosen by a man she did not know or chose to know. There is an international groundswell of rage erupting from women around the right to be safe.

I saw an article written about this, and I thought, “shit, me too” (excuse the pun). A woman had put words to all of the ways in which we just know how to ‘hold our own’… the keys between the fingers when walking to the car late at night, the text to a friend “text me when you get home”, the pretending to be on a phone call, or the running without music to keep vigilant and at the ready. And the worst… Literally having an escape plan in your head as you walk down a dark street, or past a pack of guys.

This is an everyday experience of practically all women. Everywhere. I don’t know how we know it; we just do. But we shouldn’t have to.

These things are relevant and ever-present when I think about and talk about motherhood. It is ingrained in me, and has been from a young age, to be prepared for the worst, to take personal responsibility for what could happen to me, and to be prepared for things that men don’t have to worry about (it’s not their responsibility after all).

The reality is that my partner and I bring a completely different world view into a conversation about having kids together. How could it not be?

I am honest with him. I am scared. I have so much to lose – things that I have fought so hard for. On balance, I know there are gains, but one tends to focus on the things familiar and previously experienced.

I have a career built on proving myself. I once spent three months (I was an HR Manager and not a shit one) negotiating with my male boss for a salary increase to be on par with my all-male leadership team colleagues, whose roles were not as large as mine. I had to prove why I ‘deserved it’. I got it in the end. And my male colleagues successfully argued for their salary increases directly afterwards as well… sigh.

I am scared because I don’t want to lose my career. I don’t want to fall behind, and I know I will.

While I have children, my peers will continue to work, earn money, earn Kiwisaver for their retirement (and therefore increase the interest accrued), be rewarded and promoted (and increase their salary)… I will not accrue any leave. I will not get a salary increase or increase my retirement savings. I will not get promoted.

I will more than likely come back to work part time, because my partner and I will make choices and my job is the more flexible of the two. I will start earning again – but less. I will increase my Kiwisaver and get rewarded again – but at a pro-rated rate. I will probably work just as hard squeezing a full time job into fewer days for less money, while also trying to be a mum (also a 1 FTE job).

I worked it out. Furthermore, I will be reducing my in-the-hand income while on maternity leave by 82% while receiving the Government’s maximum paid maternity leave allowance (while I can).

I work extremely hard, but I am privileged. I can see why mums feel torn. I can see why there are massive impacts down the line for gender equity. And I can also see how we have missed a beat here around putting families and children first in NZ and our stats show this… Check out our OECD education stats, our wellbeing stats, our child welfare stats etc… Having working mums is not the issue. It’s the lack of choice driven by negative financial outcomes that makes being a full-time mum the poorer choice (pun intended).

I am scared because I may find it too hard. I am 36. My energy is not what it was. I hear new mums don’t get much sleep. I currently work between 50-80 hours a week. I am not sure how to do both, well. But I am unsure how to be happy, just doing one of these things.

I am scared because I may change. I will have a new focus – this could be amazing, it could also be hard. My friends are career focused. Not baby focused. Will we still have the same relationships? Will I become boring? Will we have the energy to go away with friends on weekends? Who will babysit?

I am scared because my body will change. My body is 36. I look after it. I exercise and eat well. I am not ready to look at myself in a mirror and feel mournful antipathy. Ouch. I know. Women are great at self-loathing and body-shaming ourselves. We learn it from the media. And men. And sadly, also from other women.

I don’t have many friends who don’t hate some or all of their bodies. We are told and shown what we should look like – and men are also shown what we should look like. Porn has its place, but it is not real. Unfortunately, these images require personal trainers, personal chefs, fake tans, implants, botox, fillers, makeup, hairdressers etc… Women don’t get paid as much as men. It is expensive being a woman.

Babies can mean stretch marks, fat that doesn’t go away, sags and hormone driven changes that you cannot explain. It impacts your pelvic floor.

I have heard from other women these things negatively impact on intimacy in the bedroom. How could it not if you are feeling like your body has been replaced with one you don’t know how to rock? And if we don’t rock our bodies, how will our men get off on it?

I am scared that my relationship with my partner will become secondary to the needs of our child… and our individual needs to sleep and have ‘me time’. Our relationship is strong. It is built on respect, communication and trust. I know this after years of relationships where these things were in part or fully absent.

Are helicopter mums born that way or does a switch flick when they have kids?

I want my relationship with my partner to be #1, always. Of course, it is our choosing to make it so. However, I also know what it’s like to put in effort when you’re both tired. Our relationship functions now around shifts, commutes and long work hours. We have it sorted. Add a child and less sleep into the mix and I honestly don’t know how people do it.

We are best friends who talk a lot. So, I hope that’s enough.

I am scared because I don’t want to fail. I am a high achiever. A child is something you don’t want to fuck up. I haven’t done it before and yet I have no interest in having all of the women in my life (or as I have heard, also those not in your life) tell me how to do it. Advice on ‘breast is best’ is unwelcome, Karen… I see and hear how women are given advice. Often entwined with judgement. I then also see and hear men get praised for ‘doing it alone’.

I am scared because after all of this time, if I choose the title ‘mum’ over all else, what if I cannot even become one? This is a real fear and nothing is a give-in. Wanting it, does not make it so.

I am scared because I don’t want to find myself alone at the end of it. This scares me the most. I have seen how the most important woman in my life sacrificed everything and then when it was her turn, it turned out she was the sacrifice.

...

When I write this, the Devil’s advocate voice plays out in my head. “Oh, she is a feminist”, “she is just insecure” “is she really thinking of starting a family with a partner if she thinks he will leave her?”, “she’s a but angry – old chip on the shoulder”.

I am secure in myself. I have done stints in therapy – it’s a gym membership for the soul. I am liberal, yes. And a feminist – name a sound-minded female who isn’t pissed off about the additional hurdles in her lane on the track. My partner and I are solid, or we wouldn’t be talking about having children – talking is what adults do in a healthy relationship.

I am scared. In a way, it is healthy. If I was going into it thinking “I have this nailed” then I am probably delusional, naïve or just plain arrogant.

I am writing this because it is cathartic. It is a way to express the things I feel. And to share them as I expect so many other women (and men – yes, two men can have babies together too) feel.

#mum #parenting #newmum #career #firsttimemum #startingafamily

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balancingthewind · 3 years

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returning

Why do I practice yoga?

Because, as much as my triggers would have me do otherwise, I need to spend time listening to my body. Because, when I don’t, I experience pain physically and mentally. Pain that is avoidable through Yoga.

Yoga is not just a blending of fanciful movements that make you acrobatically strong and flexible. Sure, those can be outcomes if they are your aims, but the heart of the practice is learning how to do the most simple of movements - sitting, standing, walking - with stability and fluidity, a fully embodied person. The Yoga poses you see are only the most superficial layer of the asana practice; what is happening in the unseen, felt sense, is the most profound gift of Yoga.

Not only does the intelligent use of our bodies bring physical alignment and grace, but longevity and health also lie in our abilities to focus our minds acutely on any subject, to quieten the chaos noise of the world and the narrating mind to see any one thing clearly. As we narrow our focus to the subtle workings of our inner bodies, we also strengthen our ability to concentrate without distraction to achieve any goal.

As a person who deals with complex trauma and its companions, dissociation and anxiety, this level of embodiment has clarified my path to mental health. Symptoms like depression and shame tug at my frays, looking for a hole through which to pull me from my body, soothing terror with waking sleep. With one-pointed focus I can feel my feet, check in with my senses, and make my way back to presence. Post-traumatic stress can bring about an overload of stress hormones, throwing my body and mind into a fight/flight/freeze response… to which, I breathe, hush the mental chatter, address the trauma on a physical level, and diffuse it. When looking at everyday, practical self-regulating tools, Yoga provides some that can directly combat both numbing and panic.

Yoga has given me the tools to cope with the past year, too - although at first glance that may be hard to see. To be perfectly honest, I was not one of the lucky ones who remained buoyant, giddily occupied in their homes. The year prior had held some pretty huge losses for me and I was dealing with insecurity on several levels when the pandemic hit, and so I fell back into my familiar coping mechanisms - checking out, smoking cigarettes, and generally not holding myself accountable for how I was treating myself and the ones I loved. On a day-to-day basis, checking in to the senses can prevent absolute neurosis, but once I built a sensitivity to my body’s need to communicate, I felt and now am paying for the long duration of silence.

I also sustained a few injuries in 2019 and 2020, altering my practice as far as removing any pose involving weight-bearing in the hands, and causing mild-to-severe constant pain in my neck and shoulder, so my relationship to my body has changed drastically, and approaching a flow (my typical mode of personal practice) isn’t really possible anymore in the way my mind isn’t able to sink completely into movement and has to stay thinking about how I need to modify the next pose, which made practicing altogether less enjoyable.

I quit teaching when studios shut down right at the beginning, and today, I am teaching my first one back (so long as anyone signs up). I have some nervousness about this, but I’m using some methods I learned in an Alexander Technique workshop to deal with this in the sense of being able to follow through with showing up.

Because that’s really been the issue. Showing up. For the past year, every time I tried to get back to health, it started with a morning Yoga asana practice, and the message at the end of the practice from inside was always, “I can do this.” Eat a good breakfast, great. But then, the day would pass, the inevitable fatigue would set in, and I would end my day with mind numbing activities until I was too tired to keep my eyes open so that I could avoid the real responsibility of acknowledging my day on a physical level, diffusing it, and getting myself to a place where I could sleep. Because I’ll be damned if I’ll ever get up for a 5am Yoga practice if I’ve been up until 1am playing Sims or watching the Great British Bake-Off. Just isn’t happening.

Even being in a yoga teacher training that started the same month as the pandemic hit Kentucky hasn’t stopped me from falling from the path for a little while. Luckily I can still use what I’ve been taught now, but there’s a little shame and remorse in letting yet another opportunity go under-fulfilled.

So yeah. In all honesty, this year has been straining and traumatizing for everyone. From some perspectives, the outlook is pretty fucking dark too. My partner and I are sinking deeper into the Great American Pit of Medical Debt as we speak, and it’s hard not to get angsty just thinking about the fact that so much of the suffering the world endures could be avoided in an alternate but feasible reality.

However, despite this apparent loss of hope, Yoga was still there for me. As someone who will probably always deal with the darkest corners of depression for life, I need a light to counter the darkness, lest it becomes too much to handle. Yoga - not in the sense of poses or breathing, but in the experience of unadulterated union between mind, body, and spirit - is that light. Whether distant, in memory, or present, Yoga is one of those things you “can’t unsee”. To remain in that state requires practice, but if you can’t practice, you at least can know that Yoga is there for you when you’re ready to return.

So, here I am, returning. Letting go of the shame of thinking I need to have had it all together, allowing ME to be good enough while honoring the responsibility of being a teacher. I’ve been practicing Yoga asana (poses), pranayama (breathwork), nidra (resting yoga) and meditation of various sorts multiple times a day for a couple weeks now. I’ve quit smoking cigarettes (again) and am working with a doctor to find medication to help stabilize my depression until the Yoga has done its work.

These are things I require of myself to be able to show up to teach: to be doing everything I can to get myself healthy, making decisions that contribute to my health, remaining diligent to my tendencies and looking for places I can implement what I’ve learned kinesthetically and philosophically to my life. In this way, I can come to the mat with a clear mind and hold space for anyone who may need Yoga in the same way I do.

So, I guess this all begs the question, why do I teach yoga?

Because I want people like me to feel safe in a Yoga class. Because I know I'm different from many in that my gauge of excellence is metered by stability and comfort, rather than physical exceptionalism, as the absence of suffering in myself and others is my highest goal. And I think I could access people who really need that, given my understanding of complex trauma and experience with and love for so many kinds of people. I want badly to create culture in my city and even farther, focused around health and community, sharing and creation. I know we can do this. It's hard work, but it can be made easier when your environment reflects positive ideals, and that is something almost everyone has control over to some extent.

If you’re interested in a trauma-informed, research-based, gentle Yoga practice for physical and mental longevity, please join me. Literally everyone is welcome, and I can modify almost all poses to be done from a chair. I’m teaching virtually on Tuesdays at 6pm and in person at Centered Holistic Health on Saturdays at 11am.

Be humble and blessed <3

#yoga #bpd #complex trauma #borderline personality #mental health

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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Why Turner Classic Movies is Reframing Problematic Hollywood Favorites

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Breakfast at Tiffany’s is a movie Alicia Malone fell head over heels in love with during childhood. Seeing it more times than she can remember in her native Australia, the future author and Turner Classic Movies host still recalls failed attempts to launch a high school film club with Audrey Hepburn’s Holly Golightly as the star attraction.

“I thought for sure people were going to get excited about classic movies if they watched Breakfast at Tiffany’s because it has so much life to it!” Malone says today. How could they not fall for Hepburn’s iconic performance, which Malone still describes as luminous? “Holly Golightly is a complex female character, and for the times it was quite sexually progressive.” Yet there was always another element, even in those halcyon days, which Malone recognized as uncomfortable—that discomfort has only grown to modern eyes.

Beyond the movie’s bittersweet romance between a pseudo-call girl and the kept man living in the apartment upstairs, there’s a grossly racist caricature of Japanese Americans in the movie’s margins, and it’s portrayed no less than by Mickey Rooney in yellowface makeup. It’s technically a small part of the movie, only appearing briefly and sporadically, but each time the character arrives, it’s like a sledgehammer swung across the screen. For decades the performance has been rightly criticized by Asian American advocacy groups, and even Rooney acknowledged late in life that if he knew people would become offended, he “wouldn’t have done it.” Nevertheless, the shadow that character casts over the movie has only loomed larger with time.

“I just kind of hold my breath and half shut my eyes every time Mickey Rooney shows up,” fellow TCM host Dave Karger says during a Zoom conversation with Malone and myself. “Mercifully, he’s gone pretty soon, and I’ve chosen actively not to let that performance ruin the movie for me, because ‘Moon River’ and the party scene, and George Peppard looking so great—there’s just so much to love and appreciate, so I actively choose to focus on that.”

Despite those personal struggles with the movie, Karger and Malone are both unafraid to examine the full implications of Rooney’s Mr. Yunioshi head-on. It’s why they hosted, alongside Ben Mankiewicz, a lengthy discussion of the character’s legacy last week during a special Turner Classic Movies presentation. That conversation was part of TCM’s Reframed series, a new season of content from the network which looks at some of the most beloved Hollywood classics of the 20th century—the crème de la crème, as Karger describes them—and studies why they can also be problematic and, in some cases, stunningly offensive. In the case of Breakfast at Tiffany’s, that can even lead to larger discussions about prevailing anti-Japanese attitudes and stereotypes in American society that persisted in the immediate decades after World War II… and can still be found as echoes in the anti-Asian stereotypes of today.

For Karger and Malone, these are the types of discussions TCM hosts have been having off-screen for years. So bringing those dimensions to the forefront for new generations of viewers felt only natural with Reframed.

Says Malone, “We often talk to each other about how we approach certain films when it comes to writing our scripts for our intros and outros for each individual film. We also talk with the producers about what we should bring up, what we shouldn’t bring up; if we should talk about an actor or director’s problematic past during that particular film, or if it doesn’t go with the content of the movie.”

So the five main hosts of TCM–who also include University of Chicago Professor Jacqueline Stewart and author Eddie Muller–were eager to have these frank discussions on screen while offering historical context from a modern perspective.

“All of us at TCM are watching the world change and watching the culture change,” Karger says, “and even though we show movies by and large from the period of the ‘30s to the ‘60s, we all realized that it doesn’t mean we can’t be part of today’s cultural conversation. It’s not a stretch at all to talk about classic movies from a point-of-view of the 21st century; that’s very possible to do, and I think a lot of our fans are looking for that kind of context when they watch the channel.”

The Reframed series, which was spearheaded in part by Charlie Tabesh, the TCM head of programming, and organized by producer Courtney O’Brien, looks to balance what Karger describes as the push and pull between nostalgia and criticism. Both Malone and Karger are acutely aware of the hesitance some classic movie fans might have about evaluating works from nearly a century ago through a 21st century prism, however the new program is intended to renew engagement with these movies—particularly in an era when there are just as many loud voices that attempt to dismiss or wipe away the legacies of these film’s from the cultural canon.

“That’s really important to remind everyone that this series is not here to shame these movies or to tell anyone that they can’t love these movies,” Karger says. “And if there’s a frustration that I’ve had in this last month, it’s to see some of the reaction to this series be along the lines of ‘you’re part of cancel culture with this series.’ It could not be more the opposite of that. We’re not cancelling anything; we’re showing the films a hundred percent in their entirety, we’re just talking about them.”

Malone further emphasizes this is what can keep so many of these movies vital in an era when sequences like the aforementioned Rooney scenes in Breakfast at Tiffany’s are being deleted from a Sacramento film festival—effectively erased from the collective memory.

“I think everyone at TCM sees this as the way forward,” Malone says, “the way that we can continue to make sure these movies stay alive for younger generations. We can continue talking about them, discussing them, they can change over the years, our feelings can change about them; you can love a film and not be able to justify parts of it at the same time. What’s so important though is just to have the discussion, to talk about these problematic areas and face up to them rather than hiding them. To me, if you take out a film from existence or you just delete parts of a film, you’re in a way saying these problems never existed.”

Indeed, even the opinions of folks as steeped in this history as the hosts of Turner Classic Movies can evolve as the culture does. Ben Mankiewicz, for example, is TCM’s unofficial statesman but he surprised some viewers two weeks ago when he revealed during a Reframed discussion that he can no longer comfortably watch Gunga Din (1939), a rollicking adventure movie set in British India. Based on a Rudyard Kipling poem, that classic film’s influences can still be felt in more modern blockbusters like Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984). However, Gunga Din is also a movie that glorifies the British Empire at the expense of then-contemporary Indian independence movement, with the villain being a character who Mankiewicz noted is physically modeled after Mahatma Gandhi, who would’ve been seen as subversive by some white audiences in the ‘30s.

“I’ve never been a huge fan of that movie, even though Cary Grant is my favorite actor,” Karger says. “And I was even a little surprised when Ben and Brad Bird included it on [the TCM program] The Essentials last year. Not because it’s not a revered classic movie, but because it’s more than a little offensive. And it was fascinating to be part of that conversation with Ben, talking about the evolution of his feelings for Gunga Din, because he’s been with the network 15 years. I can’t imagine how many times he’s talked about that movie, and it’s just showing you that culture and history are living, breathing things.”

Opinions change. Malone had a similar experience when she joined Mankiewicz and Muller to discuss John Ford’s seminal Western, The Searchers (1956), a movie where the director began reckoning with his depiction of Native Americans on screen. The film is a touchstone to this day for filmmakers like Steven Spielberg, Martin Scorsese, and George Lucas. Mankiewicz and Muller note that Ford is grappling with the racism of his earlier films via John Wayne’s lead character, an unrepentant bigot who becomes both the movie’s protagonist and antagonist. However, the film still bathes Wayne’s character in heroic imagery, and still relies on Native American stereotypes.

“Watching The Searchers again with the lens of talking about it during Reframed, I just saw so much,” Malone says. “I know John Ford was trying to have a conversation about racism involving Native Americans, but there’s just no doubt that many of his films contributed to the very dangerous and horrific stereotypes based around Native American people. And I think Native American people have suffered greatly because of the way they’ve been stereotyped in Hollywood films.”

That subject of intent comes up quite a bit during the Reframed series; Karger describes the movies they discuss as running the gamut from mildly problematic to extremely offensive, yet that ambiguity should invite education about the times they were made in, as opposed to preventing audiences from knowing about those eras.

Says Malone, “I think [Reframed] does show an attempted evolution on the parts of the filmmakers, and that’s interesting. Seven Brides for Seven Brothers and The Searchers, and My Fair Lady are trying to comment on a particular issue. Seven Brides for Seven Brothers comments on the sexism of the brothers in the film; My Fair Lady comments on the misogyny of Henry Higgins; and The Searchers comments on racism. But at the same time, they are also sexist, misogynistic, and racist.” She ultimately concludes movies can be both progressive and not progressive because of the times they’re made in.

Movies

From Hitchcock to Star Wars: What Makes a Great MacGuffin

By David Crow

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Was John Wayne High Noon’s Biggest Villain?

By David Crow

My Fair Lady (1964) will be the centerpiece of TCM’s final night of Reframed programming this Thursday. A lavish big screen adaptation of Lerner and Loewe’s Broadway musical, which itself was an adaptation of George Bernard Shaw’s 1913 play, Pygmalion, it deals with the story of cockney flower girl Eliza Doolittle (Audrey Hepburn) being remade into Professor Henry Higgins’ (Rex Harrison) ideal woman through diction lessons. And the fact the musical, written in the 1950s, changed the more transgressive ending of the original play where Eliza leaves Higgins behind, will invariably come up on Reframed.

“Some people would look at that and say, ‘My Fair Lady? What could be the problem with that? It’s a very strong female character who stands up for herself and has so much agency and power in the movie,’” Karger admits. “But then when you really look at specific scenes, particularly the end of the movie, which is what I think we talked about a lot, there are certain things that just kind of make the movie, for me at least, have the tiniest bit of a sour note.”

The question of whether My Fair Lady is a sexist movie or rather a movie about sexism became the heart of its Reframed discussion.

Adds Malone, “We also talk about the fact that that ending has been changed by some stage productions. That is happening now, and we also talk about the idea of the makeover movie. I think the Pygmalion myth is something that’s fairly sexist and outdated when you look at it, but there’s also so much to love about My Fair Lady.”

The opportunity of having these discussions has been a gift for Karger and Malone. They both stress they don’t have the answers to all the questions they raise, and that even with added time for the outros on Reframed, there is no way to cover everything that needs to be said about a film in a handful of minutes.

“I thought about multiple things I wish I said or I forgot to say, or just didn’t have time to say,” Malone says. However, she hopes the series gives viewers the tools to begin engaging more seriously with these films and embrace a greater curiosity about the past. On tonight’s line-up alone, Malone and Karger will both get to engage in discussions of films they lobbied to have included in the Reframed series.

“I had just a brief conversation with Charlie [Tabesh] about including something around the idea of gender identity, or the transgender community, because I wanted to delve into that,” Malone says. “And of course from there, it becomes what do we have the rights to? What’s in license, what can we show? So there are certain limitations on the types of films we can show in the series.” The film they ended up agreeing on is Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho.

“I love the fact that it is one of the classic movies that everyone should watch, a horror classic,” Malone adds.

Karger by contrast will be discussing another Audrey Hepburn movie, this one dealing with Hollywood’s history of depicting LGBTQ characters on screen.

Says Karger, “I will never forget watching the documentary The Celluloid Closet in the mid-1990s when it was released, and that was one of the seminal moments for me, as far as looking at film critically. This was a history of LGBT characters in film history over the years, and one thing you learn when you watch a documentary like that, there was this trope in films where if there was a character who was gay, that character would not live to survive at the end of the movie. That character would either be murdered, have some kind of horrible accident, or end his or her own life.”

He continues, “So you think of The Children’s Hour in the early 1960s and at first you think, ‘Oh this is something to applaud. Shirley MacLaine and Audrey Hepburn playing two women who may or may not be lesbians. Wow! This is a great thing to bring attention to.’ And then you realize they couldn’t even use the word lesbian in the movie… then the character who ends up being gay also ends up being dead by the end of the movie, and I just think it’s this unfortunate trope that tells people, consciously or not, that you can’t be gay and you can’t be alive in society… It’s a shame, because it came so close to getting it right but you realize it didn’t have the opportunity to get it right in 1961. It couldn’t with all the restrictions in the film industry and society in general.”

It will be the last night that TCM dives so directly into the murkier waters of some of Hollywood’s legacy, although both hosts hope for a second season of Reframed. Karger, who admits he shouldn’t spend so much time on social media, has seen the predictable social media reactions of “you’re ruining these movies” by talking about these elements. But he’s also been heartened by responses from fans who wished TCM provided Reframed discussions on movies that aired later in the evening, like Stagecoach (1939) or Tarzan, The Ape Man (1932). Karger says if he has it his way, they’ll include all those movies in a second season of Reframed.

Meanwhile Malone would really like to continue a thread begun with the screening of the Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy classic, Woman of the Year (1942), from several weeks ago.

“I love having discussions for films where we talk about the representation of female characters,” Malone says. “That’s something I’ve done a lot of work on, so that’s something I’d like to continue—to talk about the way women have been portrayed in films throughout Hollywood history, and we could talk about that in terms of their beauty and how that was seen to be the most valuable quality a woman could have, or the way they could search for love. I love all the women’s pictures that forces the woman at the end to give up everything for love, but for most of the movie she is a fantastically independent woman.”

Other examples of this trope she cites are His Girl Friday (1940), and nearly every movie Katharine Hepburn made after The Philadelphia Story (1940).

Karger conversely would be interested in revisiting movies with extreme age differences between couples.

“I’d love to look at films like Gigi or Love in the Afternoon,” the host says, “because I think there are some people who have issues with the much older man and much younger woman pairing. And I think I’d love to hear what my fellow TCM hosts have to say about that, because you never see it in the opposite direction.” In fact, based on just this one comment, Malone began thinking aloud about all the ageist movies spawned by Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? (1962), a camp horror classic that kicked off what Malone describes as “hagsploitation.”

When it comes to revisiting (and reframing) Hollywood classics, the options for learning more are limitless. Not that the lessons should be intimidating.

“I think it’s quite exciting the way things change,” Malone says. “Society changes so quickly, and you learn more and have different opinions, [including] on films. I love being more educated and finding out more of my own blind spots and trying to fix them.”

Reframed continues that search on Thursday March, 25, beginning with My Fair Lady at 8pm EST.

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inventors-fair · 4 years

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Pop Culture Commentary

Thank you all for your contributions this week! I’m really proud with the way that people took from a variety of shows, books, movies and video games. Fun contests like this are interesting because I gotta let my guard down and not take things so seriously.

With that in mind, here we go!

@ace-hobo — Rouse the Oathbreakers

Great rare tribal card. I like how it’s fairly low-cost and is a flavor win plus a really fun niche tribal build-around. When you’re reanimating, use “return,” see Angel of Glory’s Rise. Additionally, if you’re using MSE, shift+enter will allow you to put the attribution underneath the quote.

@cas-420 — Left for Dead

As a spell by itself, I like how powerful it is. However, I’m not sure I understand the name as it relates to the card; I know you wanted a connection with the game, but I feel that the connection is tentative. “Last Stand” or something would have been more appropriate. I don’t think you need “All” in that second ability, and you can just steal Angel’s Grace wording for the other part. Fun Orzhov card!

@dabudder — The Heart of Etheria

I love this card. It tells a story about legendary creatures, it tells a story about sacrifice, and it’s, no pun intended, heartbreaking. “Heart” in “Heart counters” doesn’t need to be capitalized, but “return” does. I feel that for storytelling it could also work better if the trigger happened at the beginning of your end step.

@dimestoretajic — Shepard’s Charm

This is a weird build-around-me. I think that despite the gameplay being a little weird to say the least, you use colorless mana effectively to show artifacts as machines of their own in this world. You were right about missing “token.” It happens, no biggie. I have the feeling that running multiple copies of this is a bit much, considering the strength of “gain control of all permanents” that would eventually happen. Oh, God, copying this...

@donutwraith — Unorthodox Summon

I’m afraid without context, I don’t understand this card at all. What is “sem?” What clearance? Also, why “Gentle Giant?” I know it makes sense flavorfully, perhaps, but it’s weird as an actual card type. Zero mana flash enchantments are... Dangerous, mechanically. I can’t think of any ways that it would be broken off the top of my head, but I can think of several players who’d be chomping at the bit to play it.

@emmypupcake — Louisoix’s Final Sealing

Great flavor. Cool moment. Very overcosted. Six mana for a narrow removal spell like this... Well, I’d rather run a board-wipe or simply a two-mana card that does the exact same thing. For such a high cost and with the legendary restriction, in the future consider other cards and their impact that they have for that mana, then see what other powerful effect you could add.

@fractured-infinity — Preservation // Ruin // Harmony

Are these the names of actual characters and events in the book? Not sure how to feel about that. I like how Harmony can be “destroyed” by your opponents chipping away at their own resources. Watch out for run-on sentences in “Ruin” with that first ability. Without the book context, I think the names are kinda banal, but that’s just me being a pretentious douche canoe. I’m sure that the books make them more effective.

Genex-P — Soylent Green is People

Great flavor connection! Remember that the quote attribution needs to go on a different line, and that when making Food tokens they have reminder text instead of rules text, see Bake into a Pie. Also, remember, a COMMA after the G, and exile a human CARD. Gotta be specific about these things!

@ghost31415926535 — Siege of the White Lotus

Really interesting enchantment! I love how it rewards multicolor strategies and turns all your stuff into the Avatar in their own special way. Flavorfully, it’s been a while since I’ve watched AtlA but there are other people who can tell me whether or not this checks out. I’m a fan of the card in general. Just remember proper capitalization and punctuation. There may be an easier way of wording this all too, but I like how it reads.

@gollumni — Imperfect Clone

Darnit, Brian. Bryan? Whatevers. I love this flavor, especially in context. I’m thinking of different ways to word it. “Until end of turn, target creature you control has the same base power and toughness as target creature you don’t control.” IDK, this card’s fun.

@greensunzenith — The Culling of Straholme

I love this card, and the only thing that bugs me, the ONLY thing, is that I didn’t know if that first ability “works.” Aether Storm shows that it does, and I should have done more research. Call this one an honorary runner-up. It tells a fantastic story about the option of destruction followed by the inevitable turning. Man, yeah, whoever’s reading this, this card’s getting added to the runner’s up. It was a really tough series of choices this week.

@haru-n-harkel — Passing of the Matrix

What an interesting card! I’m not sure what the Matrix is, but this card lets me show that it’s a mark of leadership, that it makes a creature legendary flavorfully, and that it’s not resigned to one generation. Not bad! You don’t need “target” in the first line, and don’t forget that when you do a quote, the name goes on a separate line.

@hypexion — The Turning

Pretty sure there should be an emdash between 8 and WW, but I forget. Anyway, funky little card you got here. I’m not sure why it doesn’t have a mana cost flavorfully, but I get how it works mechanically. Good on you for the wording of the activated ability. I’m not sure how something “turning” begets the flavor of destruction, though? Also, yadda yadda quoter second line, you’ve heard me say it thrice up there.

@ignorantturtlegaming — Yoshi’s Adventure

Well if this ain’t a flavor win if I ever saw one! Dinos, eggs, and humans. Really funky stuff. Three wording things. One: The second ability should be something more like “Whenever a Human you control dies, sacrifice ~.” Two: You don’t need to “Sacrifice an Egg you control,” just “Sacrifice an Egg.” Three: It should be “”This creature deals 2 damage to any target.”” instead of just “deal.” Other than that, great first submission.

@illharg-the-rave-boar — Shutdown

Ah, sci-fi. One day we’ll get there in Magic. Anyway, this card! I think that you could have stapled the “End the turn” line to the previous one, but aside from that, I think this card is super cool, a good mythic for this day and age. Pretty fun in a midrange-control build. I know nothing about the game, but I like the feeling of a forced shutdown that you present. Probably the best example of the genre we could ask for.

@juggernaut-is-a-metalhead — Blood and Thunder

This is a weird heckin’ card. The name and flavor text feel really disconnected from the abilities, though, which is a shame because mechanically this is an insane card that could be very fun in the right deck. The flavor the abilities present of “the world is breaking around me but with enough power I turn into a leviathan” is really awesome.

@kavinika — Sadeas’s Betrayal

Let’s look at the card Sudden Disappearance. With that, I believe this spell could read “Exile all creatures you control. Return the exiled cards to the battlefield under their owner's control at the beginning of the next end step. Then, destroy all creatures attacking a player or permanent other than you.” You don’t necessarily need the combat clause, but I understand how it could be useful to prevent just blinking. Maybe if it destroyed any number of target attacking creatures?

@koth-of-the-hammerpants — Holistic Assassination

9/10, but 1. Enchantments don’t tap, and 2. This feels like it would be very easy to abuse without a higher cost for returning it. Flavor’s interesting, card plays great, it’s a pain in the butt. Very fun.

@mistershinyobject — Zulf’s Fate

Once again, you return creature cards from the graveyard to the battlefield. Wording aside, I really like the dichotomy of this card. It’s a gristly fate that you presented quite well. There’s not a lot to say because the card speaks for itself, and that’s a strength.

@misterstingyjack — Shared Demise

I don’t really like the wording on this, as interesting as the concept is. I feel like it’s a bit much for one chunk of text. Maybe “fate counters” could work here? Like, when ~ enters the battlefield, put a fate counter on target creature, whenever a creature with a fate counter leaves the battlefield sacrifice enchanted creature, and when enchanted creature leaves the battlefield the fate counter creatures are sacrificed? I hope that makes sense. It’s hard to feel “clean” with the wording you have here.

@nine-effing-hells — Hydraulic Salvation

Neat little name! I don’t think you need to add “if you do” to that second mode. And on a card like this, I wouldn’t add the flavor text. I really don’t think it’s strong enough to add anything to this card. Flavorful use of Miracle, though.

@piecesofliquid — Tragic Reunion

This is a really cool card. Wording seems a little off, but you used flavor effectively to bring back two dueling characters. “You and target opponent each return up to one creature card from your graveyards to the battlefield. Those creatures gain vigilance, haste, and “etc.”” Great use of dual flavor text, even though I can’t quite tell who’s saying what. I don’t watch the show, thpt.

@shakeszx — I Am Iron Man

I really like how we got two Iron Man submissions next to each other, lol. Two things: It should be “tap an UNTAPPED non-Legendary creature you control,” and you need a shuffle clause at the end of the whole thing. Great idea, funky flavor. Feels more like citizens summoning a legend, but I like the notion anyway. It’s very marvel. Could be RW.

@shootingstarhunter — Inevitable Ultimatum

Having watched the movie, this card would have made more sense if it was an additional cost to sacrifice the legendary creature and it just destroyed all nonland permanents you didn’t control. Also, the flavor text should be in quotes. Aside from that, I really love this card. It’s an ultimatum that feels like an ultimatum. It’s appropriately costed and at the right rarity. So there we go!

@snugz — Good King Moggle Mog XII

What a name. This is a frustrating and flavorfully annoying boss card that I can imagine an AI playing as kind of an Arena boss fight. Fourteen power for eight mana is... Well, it’s not the craziest thing Magic’s done in the past, but the fact that it repeats, man. 10/10 for cute and game capture feel.

@sorustyitshines — The World Eater’s Ascent

I get that it’s an epic card, but “can’t be countered” isn’t really in the BW pie. Regardless, it’s a powerful boardwipe that, uh, doesn’t destroy enchantments for some reason? Not sure why, maybe it’s an in-game thing. Anyway, fine Commander card, good Evil Rise kinda thing. Overall interesting, but not my favorite in terms of execution.

@starch255 — Enter Star Wolf

“For each of them, create a token that’s a copy of that card, except...” I think is the right wording. At least that’s how I grok it. Funky little card! I love how you used black Vehicles to create the evil spaceship feel. It’s a good sci-fi trope to have vehicles. The “four” is also a nice touch.

@teaxch — Claudius’s Plan

Now ain’t this tragic. Interesting card! I like how it only lasts for a turn, giving your opponent one turn to have the deathtouch brigade. Not sure exactly how a poisoned chalice gives EVERYTHING deathtouch, but what the hell, it’s Shakespearian, everything’s tragic, right? I think this card is pretty cool, would make limited fun.

@thegreateyebrows — Khert Fire

Hm, that might have to be a replacement ability. “If a spell or ability would target a permanent or player, that spell targets a permanent or player chosen at random instead.” “Whenever a player casts a spell, if that spell has no target, Khert Fire deals 2 damage to that player.” It doesn’t really need vanishing. If there are any rules people out there, tell me if my wording is off.

@tmstage — Cage the Traveler

This probably should be a rare for how niche the hate is, like Blood Moon, but the ability certainly feels mythic. I like this card a lot. I’ve never played destiny, but this card gives me stakes. There’s a “traveler,” akin to a planeswalker, and there’s something sapping them of their power, a primary antagonist with a goal and a mysterious identity. Bam, established. Not a bad job.

Thank you all for your entries! New contest tomorrow.

#mtg #magic the gathering #custom magic card #pop culture moment #contest #commentary #inventor's fair

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jeromebrooke1991 · 4 years

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icosmohunters · 4 years

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chapter seven : candor

chapter seven of cosmo hunters!

word count : 4.5k words

synopsis : after the meeting, hope finds herself feeling suspicious. all of this talk about a coup d’etat has her throwing glances at the pirates who she believes might be responsible for all of this. but upon taking the time to sit down and talk, she’s about to uncover some horrifying details.

once the meeting had come to an end, hope wandered out through the doors with a look of hysteria plastered onto a pale face. she had expected the whole experience to have been more subtle rather than something that was going to stun her out of her wits.

it had been like entering a dream sequence, perhaps the most jarring one yet. she’s never been into a meeting like, let along received news of a possible overthrow of a major corporation like voyage inc. it was ghastly. it wasn’t even a political party nor a part of a major government. it was a global company that manufactured the resources required for the human space colonization process.

but voyage had started off as scientists and engineers and mathematicians and ended up into lieutenants and generals and politicians. from an ambitious project into a major contribution to the evolution of humans. and now, there were signs of people showing hostility towards them.

potentially physical hostility, based on what she’d heard.

“ you okay, hope? ”.

the girl rose her head with furrowed brows and saw hina standing in front of her, expression worried and tender. “ y-yeah, of course. it’s just quite overwhelming. but i think it’ll all work out ”, she replied. even though she felt absolutely no confidence in her own words.

“ of course it will! all of this sucks, i know, but i don’t think it’ll get too serious. oh, hiro and i are going to get some food from the cafeteria ”, the other girl pointed in the direction of the boy who’d gone off to a vending machine to acquire something. “ they’re serving chicken katsu curry for lunch. ”

hope’s stomach churned. as hungry as she was after not having had a proper meal in a couple of days, she also felt too anxious to eat anything. and if something settled in her stomach, she wouldn’t be able to hold it there. not with how much her heart was racing at that moment.

the reason why she was particularly worried was because of the pirates. she had been at j-colony the same time as the act of vandalism against voyage was committed. and she recalled that she had passed out because of that bomb, she didn’t know how long she was out for but the pirates were out whilst she was unavailable.

doing potentially anything, getting up to no good.

perhaps it was just convenient that it had all happened at the same time. besides, the city was so large that it could have potentially been anyone. but her suspicions were still intact, especially since she knew the crew’s hatred towards this very corporation. the reason for it, she wasn’t aware of.

“ uh, yeah, i’ll go ”.

the way to the cafeteria was long, but hope didn’t really take the time to notice it because she was so deep in thought. she almost walked face-first into so many people if hiro hadn’t pulled her back the last minute. he scolded her, inquiring her what the matter was but she didn’t reply at first.

if the meeting room had been large, the cafeteria was larger. it stretched on for a great length and walls covered only in glass allowed a great view of the outside world, well, moon. titan wasn’t particularly grand at that moment considering it was raining methane of all things. but the view was familiar and brought a sense of safety for the young bounty hunter.

tables scattered around, hope searched aimlessly for the pirates. surely they wouldn’t have gotten far, especially with how great this place was, unless if they truly wanted to risk putting themselves in danger. it was already dangerous, to begin with, being here. but they’d promised to behave so where were they?

“ are you looking for your people? ”, hiro asked and hope nodded slightly. “ well, if they’ve been here before, they couldn’t have gotten lost. but you said they’re newbies so you just have to pray you’ll find them. ”

hope did pray, mostly under her breath, and she wasn’t even religious. she just hoped the universe would gift her with a day of relief. or even a moment of relief, especially in this climate, especially when her suspicions were high and especially when she was carefully trying to avoid problems.

sighing, hope followed hiro and hina to where the food was being served. thank god she didn’t have to pay, that was the last thing she needed. so upon collecting her food, a plate of chicken katsu curry with sticky rice, not to mention a carton of juice and a mandarin to peel and enjoy, she walked to one of the tables and took a seat. hina sat right beside her.

“ so, tell me, what do you think? it’s a bit weird, isn’t it? for years, it seemed all so peaceful but now it’s gone to shit. it always does ”, hina began and saw hope’s resilience to talk. “ it just changes a lot of things. ”

hiro sighed, lifting up his spoon and gazing at it for a moment. “ i think it was inevitable. voyage has a lot of influence and there are just some people out there who refuse to accept it. it doesn’t help that voyage doesn’t tolerate rebellion ”, he said before shrugging softly.

“ tell me about it, these guys may pose themselves as angels as they’re helping with the colonization process. but they’re like a dictatorship, nobody can challenge them without getting bashed ”.

hope stared down at her food. it felt wrong to be sitting with two proper voyage workers, hiding the fact that she had brought pirates into headquarters, pirates who were potentially responsible for the vandalism at j-colony. she inhaled deeply and looked to the side.

her eyes widened slightly when she spotted a familiar trail of blonde hair and a voyage uniform. vivienne. standing up abruptly, hope called her, “ io! ”.

vivienne was no idiot, so she turned swiftly upon hearing her fake name being called. her face lit up with a small smile, and hope couldn’t help but feel guilty for earlier, for having snapped out for no basic necessity other than due to her explosive temper and defensive ego.

the blonde suddenly turned and called out to someone. soon, hope saw the pirates coming in. dawn’s face lit up after seeing the bounty hunter, whom she waved excitedly at before dragging the others over.

“ oh, you’re cute! ”, hina commented when the young girl approached.

dawn’s cheeks appeared to glow pink at that point, “ t-thank you. i’m stella, by the way. ” the girl looked towards hope who didn’t seem willing to meet her gaze. “ is it okay if we sit with you guys? ”.

“ as long as you manage to stay quiet ”, hiro said, raising his glass of water to his lips before letting his gaze all on hope. “ care to introduce us, hope? ”.

gulping, the girl nodded. “ that’s stella. blondie is io, one with the bruise is leo, nerd is benjamin, and the other one’s roger. ”

hiro snorted, “ roger? ”. his gaze flew towards enzo who rose a brow as if posed with a challenge and hope wished that nothing argumentative would come out of these two meeting. usually, two confident people clash, and most of the time it’s not in a good way.

“ yeah. you must be hiro ”, enzo said slowly, but then his gaze fell on hina and softened. “ and who’s this pretty lady? ”. hope swore she heard dom groan slightly in the back.

hina seemed to giggle and waved in greeting, “ hina koyabashi! it’s a pleasure to meet all of you. why don’t you all get some food? it’s really good today. ” hope didn’t understand how this girl was so pleasant, it was puzzling but she chose not to question something she probably won’t understand, hope isn’t a pleasant person.

“ oh, that’d be nice. but we’re planning on getting food elsewhere anyway, thank you for asking ”, vivienne said but still sat down beside hope, who was struggling to eat her food. “ so, how was the meeting? ”.

“ wonderful ”, hiro spoke, putting his glass of water down. “ we found out that there have been some acts of vandalism being committed against voyage at the j-colony. someone completely trashed the base there overnight and now they think a coup is being committed. ”

“ a what? ”, enzo questioned.

hope glared down at her plate, “ an uprising. ”

“ o-oh. ”

she felt the tension in the air almost immediately, hearing vivienne inhale deeply beside her but not a word came from the pirates, which was weird. and it only added to hope’s suspicions, but she didn’t show any reaction to indicate that. she simply let hiro continue to explain.

“ but now we’re on high alert. they’re investigating nearly every colony in search of any criminal activities targetting institutions. stuff on earth is completely messed up, some people are being put on leave to ensure their safety ”, he stated.

hope hadn’t heard about that. feeling her stomach churn once more, she simply stabbed her straw through the hole on her juice carton and inhaled deeply. her father was most likely not going to get his arm nor his treatment, he was going to be put off work completely.

how long was her old man going to have to wait to get the treatment he deserved immediately? she needed to visit him. but she just felt like something was going to get in the way, and she needed to prevent them. she’s been avoiding going back home in fear that she’ll get attached and not be able to go back to work. but now she wanted to see her family.

“ that’s . . . a shame ”, dom uttered and then sighed. “ well, voyage has angered many people, i can see why some people have revolted. not that i agree with it but it makes sense. ”

hina snapped her fingers and pointed, “ see? he gets it! i’m not the only one who thinks this company can be bat shit insane sometimes. hope, you recruited some very smart people. ” hope didn’t react at first, she just gave a halfassed chuckle and tried to eat.

hiro’s gaze remained on hope for a long time, she felt it but she didn’t think to question him about it. she could already imagine the thoughts rolling through his brain, the questions and the assumptions on how hope came to find these people and she didn’t have the brainpower to make up a credible story.

“ how’d you find ‘em, hope? ”.

“ hm? ”.

before hiro could repeat himself, vivienne swept in, now the ball was in her court. “ we were always looking to join something like voyage. thankfully, hope gave us the opportunity and signed us in. we’re newbies thanks to her. ”

“ oh, that’s so nice! but it seems like you guys already ran into some trouble ”, the girl beside hope stated. hina glanced over at dom and tilted her head. “ is that why leo has a bruise? ”.

now hope like she was going to throw up. she gulped and tried not to bring attention to herself whilst also avoiding dom’s gaze. she was bad at many things but knowing when someone is looking at you is something she’s mastered.

“ we ran into some trouble with pirates ”, dom said slowly, crossing his arms over his chest. “ i’m not the best fighter so i got hit. but we also jacked the guy up afterward so it’s all fair and square. ” hope felt like she was being threatened, she couldn’t look up, nor even think about having her food.

hiro scoffed, “ pirates? well, that just proves yoh’s theory. it’s just criminals on loose sturring up a fuss because they can’t see that they’re in the wrong. ” hope really wished he would stop talking now.

“ you don’t know that ”, enzo said with a rising tone. biting back a wince, hope adjusted herself in her chair. her gaze fell on quinn who was already looking back at her. he didn’t need to say much but his eyes held a sweetness in them that she’s never noticed before, a caring undertone to a usually grim expression.

“ oh, come on, some of these criminals on the loose turn into criminals because they think voyage is against ‘em or something. as far as i’m aware, voyage has only ever attacked anyone because they attacked first ”, hiro continued but then pursed his lips and shrugged smugly. “ that’s just my theory. ”

“ hope, you okay? ”.

the attention suddenly shifting onto her stunned her. she blinked slightly and reeled back in shock before sighing, and then offering them all a nod. “ y-yeah, absolutely. i just don’t feel like eating anymore ”, she said.

vivienne’s hand met her shoulder once more and this time hope didn’t shrug it away. “ we should probably get you back to the ship ”, she decided whilst rubbing her back slightly.

“ oh, you’re leaving so soon? ”, hina said in a tone of sadness, pouting but she nodded and gave the group a smile. “ well, i suppose there’s no reason to stick around. hope, it was lovely meeting you. ”

whilst getting up from her seat, hope saw hina offering a handshake and ultimately accepted, giving a firm one of her own. her gaze went over towards hiro and he just nodded and waved her off. cold, as per usual.

hope then followed lazily behind the crew, who seemed more adamant about getting to the ship than she was. but she could almost understand why. they were in a dangerous environment that could potentially end in an altercation that would reveal their identities.

she couldn’t help but throw a gaze over her shoulder, seeing hina wave happily at her and hiro glance back with no interest. still, she reached into her pocket and felt the squishy toy he’d given her, and carried on walking.

after going through the exits and slipping their oxygen helmets on, they traveled back to the ship. hope didn’t even get to say goodbye to creed nor to esme, but she would end up coming back at some point to enjoy it. well, to enjoy the company of the people in the corporation. people whom she didn’t mind being around.

when the stairs for nebula opened, hope stopped and took one quick glance back at the headquarters. the experience here wasn’t the best, but what was she expecting? in a way, she disagreed with hiro’s statement, and now, she could moderately understand the trepidation and hesitation the pirates showed to coming within a range of anyone belonging to voyage.

it was just all bad news. bad news and the strive for perfection.

“ well, thank god that’s over! ”, enzo declared, giving out a loud sigh whilst proceeding to remove all of the garments, especially the badges and the gloves. with quite a lot of distaste, might she add? “ also, hope, i can see why you dislike that guy so much. ”

they had entered the lounge once more and enzo had collapsed onto the couch alongside quinn, a small frown on his face. “ like, is he always that much of a douche? ”, he questioned, arms crossed behind his head.

“ you didn’t even speak to him properly ”, quinn mumbled.

enzo rose up slightly onto his seat and pointed a figure in some general direction, supposedly where hiro was. “ you’re kidding, right? that guy gives off bad villain vibes, you could feel it from a mile away ”, enzo argued.

“ hiro . . . is a complex individual ”, hope cut in, gaining enzo’s attention once more. “ we used to train together, share the same room. he was always competitive, always trying to be the pillar of perfection but what i admire most about him, despite hating his guts, is how precise and watchful he is. ” she took a small pause and took out the animal squishy toy once more. “ he sees, remembers, and acts. ”

dawn gasped and cooed, “ that’s so cute! ”.

“ yeah ”, hope agreed with a small chuckle, raising her brows slightly. “ he gave it to me. he knows i’m not fond of packed environments. the noise usually causes some awful sensations, as they did today, but he kept me from having a total breakdown. ” playing with the toy for a little longer, she soon tucked it back into her pocket.

quinn hummed before elbowing enzo gently, “ he’s not a villain, cap, he’s just moody. just how you’re not a villain, but you are an arrogant prick. ”

vivienne burst into laughter and hope snorted, averting her gaze away as to avoid being seen smiling so plainly. she had to admit, as much as she wasn’t accustomed to being around so many people, she could get behind the idea of being humored frequently. they provided free humor, so she might as well enjoy it.

hope’s eyes trailed up towards dom whilst quinn and enzo bickered. he seemed to be in a better mood than she’s seen him, but then again, she doesn’t exactly pay much attention to him. but the bruise was obvious now and it was started to grind her gears. she was mad at herself.

yes, he might have deserved it but hope felt like she could have easily stepped back and come out of her fit of blind rage because some guy said something she didn’t like. she’s heard so many things, was spat so many insults at yet he was the one who managed to push her to her limit. and she didn’t even know him!

a stranger doesn’t deserve to make you angry, she reminded herself. but then again, neither do they deserve a punch for making you angry. hope stared for just a little longer and when his head moved as if to look at her, she looked back down.

after a couple of hours, nebula had left titan and they were in outer space once again. hope had chosen to eat her food alone, and she could hear the laughter and chatter from the dining room even from the lounge. it wasn’t disrupting her as much as she’d imagined.

the bounty hunter had changed into some decent clothes, being a t-shirt and some sweatpants because as far as she was aware, she wasn’t going to move from a slow orbit any time soon. she wanted to relax, especially after having such a shaky day.

dawn and vivienne had prepared some nice carbonara pasta with the ingredients hope had in her fridge, and she hated to admit it but it was just like her mother’s back hope. if not better.

but she had long lost the taste of her mother’s food since she left, and after that, it was mostly microwaved food, she barely had the energy to prepare something fresh. but she could burn the carbs off afterward, even if it hurt every bone in her body.

whilst eating, she was flipping through her stats again since she didn’t get to check them. after having gained some bounty points, her level had risen to sixty-seven, especially considering crimson had been a particularly hard person to catch and considering he was in the top ten most sought after criminals, the reward for his death was high.

hope sighed. rising five levels after one kill felt like a relief, especially considering she would end up on some of the league tables. she didn’t know exactly where she was placed in the board of bounty hunters but she could have been in the top twenty. the recognition is often quite the self-esteem boost.

but even after killing him, she couldn’t help but remain worried. she shouldn’t have brought the pirates to voyage and when the news in the meeting was revealed, she felt sick. in fear that because she slept, she missed the chance of seeing the pirates up to no good. then again, nothing could prove they had anything to do with the incident.

but it was a probability.

and she still had to take these guys to pluto and that’s an easy portal ride away but why was she so hesitant? she wanted to get rid of the problem rather than keep it around but she didn’t want to let them go until she had the answers she required.

thankfully, she wasn’t going to have to wait for long. she felt like dinner had finished when the doors of the lounge opened and she heard some voices filter in and then pause when they seemed to detect her.

“ hope, have you finished eating? ”.

“ it wasn’t you guys, was it? ”.

hope turned and looked over her shoulder towards the two figures belonging to dawn and dom, who both looked puzzled. and then enzo came in, followed by vivienne and quinn.

she frowned, “ i want to believe that it wasn’t. for some reason, i’m showing the leniency to trust you even though i probably shouldn’t. but if it was you guys who were responsible for the vandalism against voyage, i have to know. and then i’ll make the decision.” hope paused and gulped. “ the last thing i want is to have to remove my trust from the table. ”

“ n-no, of course not ”, enzo began, sounding nervous. “ oh god, no, i know weren’t there when you were passed out but we didn’t go to vandalize anything. we already have targets on our backs, the last thing we want is to cause more mayhem. besides, our feelings towards voyage are sour but they’re not toxic. ”

vivienne interrupted, “ and we don’t even have the funds to buy the resources required considering most of our money got blown up with our ship. all we have is dom’s bank account to save us. we wouldn’t waste money on spray paint and bombs. ”

hope nodded slightly and then looked down. at her trembling hands, she noticed her middle and index finger had crossed and locked together. she didn’t know just how much she believed them but hearing it from them was better than assuming they’d truly done it.

“ don’t tell me you don’t believe us ”, dom began.

hope snapped back quickly, “ i do. ” blinking, she took a moment to gather herself and her thoughts. “ i do believe you. i want to believe you because, i think that i gave you too many chances and if you spoil it this time, i won’t be able to handle it. ”

“ handle what? you can take us to where we have to be now that all of that is over ”, dom persisted, nodding towards some random direction. “ you can take us to pluto, can’t you? ”.

“ y-yes, bu— ”.

“ well, why don’t you take us th— ”.

“ hope, i’ve detected a new addition to your bounty list. ”

a.j saved her once again. the bounty hunter ran a hand through her hair, sighing with frustration. usually, she would go up to her cabin to hear about the details but she didn’t mind sharing them in front of the pirates. it wasn’t like she was going to ask them to go along with it. not after what happened last time.

“ proceed, a.j. ”

“ real name unknown, but the alias voyage has given them is the puppeteer. voyage has signed them as a technological terrorist, as they have been responsible for many government-targeted financial and cyber attacks. it’s said that perhaps they’re looking for money. but others have stated it’s pure psychopathy. they’re on top of the bounty list when it comes to hackers ”.

hope’s eyes widened but she didn’t react as quickly as enzo did after he let out a small exhale, “ the puppeteer? ”.

“ it’s a stupid name ”, dom commented with a snort.

“ no, shut up, i know who they are ”, enzo growled and crossed his arms, hope acknowledged the dense muscles for a moment and then shyly gazed away. “ the puppeteer, you mean the one who was behind the 3017 financial wipe that stole over a hundred billion dollars from global banks? ”.

a.j replied swiftly, “ that is correct. ”

why was he acting like this? hope furrowed her brows slightly whilst staring at enzo, who seemed to be trying to collect his thoughts. “ holy shit ”, he muttered under his breath.

“ enzo, are you al— ”.

“ we’re helping. ”

hope reacted with a scoff, “ are you out of your mind? the last time you tried to help me catch a criminal, you nearly killed me and let him escape! ”.

“ this is different ”, enzo replied. “ the puppeteer is a force to be reckoned with, they have the capacity of putting an entire country through a blackout that could potentially end with millions of lives lost. they’re a financial thief and have been behind many terrorist attacks committed against innocent people. in concerts and in reunions and meetings. ” he looked towards hope with determined eyes. “ you need to let us help ”.

“ i don’t feel like i owe you that leisure ”, hope said through gritted teeth. “ if this son of a bitch ends up being dangerous, i don’t want anyone dying and me getting the blame for it. ”

dom rolled his eyes, “ you think we’re that incapable of fighting? ”.

“ i mean you nearly let crimson get away through that smoke even though you knew how to handle yourselves ”, the bounty hunter snapped and forced herself to calm down, to lower her tone. “ i’m not letting anyone help. i can handle it myself. ”

“ consider it as part of the bargain, hope ”, enzo insisted, god he was so persistent, it made her blood boil!

“ dying isn’t part of it. and that’s final. ”

“ fine, we’ll just devise a plan without you in it but we’re going to somehow help, we are. don’t underestimate us ”, enzo said and turned to walk away. and the pirates followed, some reluctantly but hope called out just before the doors could close.

“ fine! ”.

they turned and looked at her with equal expressions of shock. hope couldn’t believe that, yet again, she was going to let herself be put in danger because of these pirates, that she was going to try to work alongside them as if they were a team. this was supposed to be her mission, her well-earned reward. she didn’t want to share it with anyone, call her selfish if you want but she’s been doing fine for four years by herself. without pirates mingling with her business.

and yet here she was.

risking it all over again.

“ y-you . . . you can help me hunt the puppeteer down. ”

#chapter 7 #writing #original writing #space adventure #space pirates au

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firstritter · 4 years

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THE BIG BLEACH HC MEME centering around politics, repost & fill out! For anyone who wanted to explore those aspects more, considering it played a big role in the story. Some things may be unknown to your Muse, just think in WHAT IF then & well, have fun and take your time!

BASICS

Name: Lille Barro / / / Age: 1000+ / / / Gender: Cis male Race: Shinigami / Quincy / Hollow / Fullbringer / Visored / Human / Other Currently lives: Soul Society / Hueco Mundo / Silbern / Living World / Hell Exact Location: His life was in the world of the living before the Wandenreich was founded, and then he barely left Silbern, as most of his brothers and sisters in arms who survived the first war. I still have to write a post-war verse, so I’m leaving it at that. Group(s): Quincy / Sternritter / Schutzstaffel

QUESTIONS

- Would your muse consider themselves more: GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL ? - Would your muse consider their group more: GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL ? - How does your muse think others see them: GOOD / EVIL / NEUTRAL ? - How does your muse think others see their race: GOOD / EVIL / NEUTRAL ? - How does your muse think others see their group: GOOD / EVIL / NEUTRAL ?

- Is your muse considered a threat: YES / NO ? From whom?: Apart from Jugram, he’s the one Sternritter who is closest to Yhwach, the leader of the emperor’s personal guard, one of the strongest quincies in general. I figure that if the Shinigami put bounties over their heads after the first war, Lille would be one of the richest prizes. - Is your muse powerful: YES / NO ? Could they be considered OP: YES / NO ? ( Lille’s abilities may appear somewhat plain and he still got defeated by the (assembled) Royal Guards, but he’s still stronger than most captains combined so I guess he qualifies as OP. ) - Did your muse commit any crimes: YES / NO ? - Does your muse think they are doing mostly the right thing: YES / NO ? - Would society think the same: YES / NO / MIXED OPINIONS ? ( Soul Society probably wouldn’t lol, but to the Quincy community scattered over the world, what they’re doing offers a promise of revenge and liberation. Also they’re bringing forth a kingdom of heaven, so, Lille adamantly believes there should be no doubt as to the righteousness of their war. )

- Does your muse think they are treated unfairly: YES / NO ? ( Individually, no. But his kind has always been stomped upon, so it’s a bit of a yes, too. ) - Does your muse feel understood from others: YES / NO ? ( The youngest quincies might not understand him at all. ) - Is it important for them what others think of them as a person: YES / NO ? - Would they welcome death: YES / NO ? - Will they ever find peace: YES / NO ? ( Only by Yhwach’s side. After his death, Lille would be broken and restless. )

01.0. Do they fully stand behind the group they are part of? YES / NO. Why is that? Explain: Lille did not believe in the wholeness and the consistence of the hope for a Quincy nation before he came to meet Yhwach. Not only because he was young, but also because his world was extremely small, narrowed down to his and a few more families that, together with some regularly human ones, made up his community. Meeting Yhwach, coming in contact with his people and bonding with them over their belonging to the same group, certainly broadened Lille’s horizons. The oppression and deaths they endured over the centuries only contributed to further solidify his belief that the Quincy will never be free as long as Shinigami exist and retain the power to shape the asset of the world(s). He believes in their common dream, and he loves his people fiercely.

02.0. Do they like as things are in Soul Society? YES / NO / INDIFFERENT. 02.1. Is there anything they would change? Explain here: He perceives Soul Society as a paragon of evil, and although he’s not so well-navigated in the specifics of its politics, Lille knows it is rotten to the core. ‘Things’ in Soul Society cannot possibly go well as long as Shinigami have the power.

03.0. Would they ever actively try to bring change (in general)? YES / NO. 03.1. Is your muse more: passive / active ? Introverted / Extroverted ? ( He takes initiative, but it all ultimately boils down to Yhwach’s will. He obeys him. ) 03.2. Does your muse care more about: others / themselves ? ( He cares about Yhwach and the Quincy more than anything else. ) 03.3. Do they trouble their mind over a lot of problems, others? YES / NO. 03.4. Do they mostly involve: the world / everyone / themselves / comrades / friends / family / elderly / kids / teenagers / home / workplace / strangers / souls / humans / quincy / shinigami / nobles / fullbringer / visored / hollows / espada / arrancar / (former) boss(es) / pets / animals / zanpakuto spirit / enemies / partner / lovers / soul king / god / other…(add more) 03.5. Name (up to) three which are the most on their mind (optional, adding names): Yhwach is makes up the gist of his entire world. He left everything he knew and did everything in his power to find him, Lille worships him to the point of fanatism; being allowed to serve Yhwach is the greatest honor, and consequently, what’s most on his mind revolves around Yhwach and serving him well. He also takes the matters of the Quincy to heart, and despite not being very sociable, he’s also fond of his comrades - he shared a lot with them.

04.0. Do they think frequently about politics? YES / NO / SOMETIMES. Why is that? Explain: Lille is a character with more religious and spiritual implications than political, but every Quincy character is, in a way or another, affected by politics. He’s no exception, but because he has a kind of black-and-white worldview, he can be somewhat naive in that regard.

05.0. How do they feel in their current location: POSITIVE / NEGATIVE / NEUTRAL ? 05.1. Why is that?: Quincy originally belong to the broad spaces of the world of the living, and Lille undoubtedly misses them. That said, the hidden state of the Wandenreich prevented the total extermination of a good chunk of their people and protected them for centuries, it’s his home and he’s adapted to it pretty well. As a sniper, hiding in the shadows of the enemy and waiting to strike is pretty much his natural condition.

06.0. Does your muse have any goal: YES / NO ? BIG / SMALL ? ( His only goal is to see Yhwach’s design fulfilled. ) 06.1. Does it involve anything world-changing: YES / NO ? 06.2. If goal or not, any future plans? Share here: Apart from the realization of Yhwach’s goal, his only ambition is to continue serving his king and the Quincy. I’m sure Lille would deny himself the possibility to fall in love and build a family, as it would be a distraction from a lifetime long vocation.

07.0. Does your muse know about the Original Sin of Soul Society*: YES / NO ? * curious? Read about it here. 07.1. If they knew, would it change their views on Soul Society: YES / NO ? - 07.2. More: POSITIVE / NEGATIVE / NEUTRAL ? ( The Original Sin is at the base of Lille’s extremely negative opinion of Soul Society, actually, so his views would not shift much. )

08.0. Who is the worst person in their eyes?: Genryusai Yamamoto 08.1. What should happen to them? Execution (quick / slow death) / Imprisonment / Stripped of their powers / Torture / Repay for their sins / Pay a Fine / Social Work / lose their loved ones / Exile / other… (add more). 08.2. Explanation: He remembers Yamamoto’s flames vividly. He remembers the smell of burnt flesh of his comrades, the screams, and how the man (who was truly nothing more than a murderer who donned an aura of respectability) took their God and king away from them. The right to kill the man belongs to Yhwach, but Lille would have very much liked to put a gaping hole in his head.

09.0. Thoughts on: Quincy Massacre if they knew: POSITIVE / NEGATIVE / NEUTRAL ? 09.1. Would they be alright with such thing happening again: YES / NO / INDIFFERENT ? 09.2. Would they try to prevent it: YES / NO / DEPENDS ? 09.3. Explanation: The Quincy are his people, lbr no Quincy would be alright with what was done to them. Lille is a very proud individual, and he could never cope with the shock, the shame, the humiliation and the pain of seeing his people, people like him that weren’t lucky enough to be protected by the Schatten Bereich, be systematically exterminated and experimented on. Just thinking about it makes him furious.

10.0. Would they ever switch sides: YES / NO ? 10.1. If yes, What could bring them to do so?: - 10.2. Would they create a new one: YES / NO ? or join a current one? If so, which: Lille is a loner, truly like a sniper. He would never betray Yhwach, but post-war, I cannot see him actively searching for other surviving quincies to start a new community; he cherishes his solitude, and especially after the war, I think he’d be much more withdrawn in the attempt to cope with the defeat.

11.0. Does your muse follow a certain moral code*?: YES / NO / GRAY AREA ? * (ethics) A written, formal, and consistent set of rules prescribing righteous behavior, accepted by a person or by a group of people. 11.1. What does it involve?: He’d do anything Yhwach asked of him, but as a general rule, he leaves children and civilians out of things. 11.2. What does it NOT involve?: He doesn’t ‘fight fair’, he fights and kills mercilessly.

YOUR MUSE’S VIEWS / OPINIONS ON THESE GROUPS ?

Central 46: positive / negative / neutral. ━ because: they’re just old men desperately clinging to power.

Four Great Noble Clans: positive / negative / neutral. ━ because: he knows what their ancestors did to the Soul King, the Quincy’s ancestor. It feels like the first of a long series of slights done to their people.

Royal Guards / Gotei 13: positive / negative / neutral . ━ because: they are the violent core of Soul Society; an array of deceitful, paternalistic and oppressive individual who hide behind the excuse of ‘balance’ to reinforce their supremacy.

Fullbringer: positive / negative / neutral. ━ because: he never came in contact with any of them, though through rp his opinion might shift.

Visored: positive / negative / neutral. ━ because: they’re Shinigami, and they’re Hollows. Also, the fact that despite what was done to them, they accepted to go back to Soul Society and now fight within the ranks of the Gotei? Huh.

Espada: positive / negative / neutral. ━ because: they’re Hollows, it doesn’t matter how human or civilized they might look. There’s always that ugly shudder crawling up his spine that makes Lille immediately pull the trigger.

Quincy: positive / negative / neutral. ━ because: again, they’re his people. He believe their war to be a righteous one and he’s protective of them. I’m not sure how important the concept of ‘Quincy pride’ is to Lille, because he’s already a proud individual and his pride stems largely from his bond with Yhwach, rather than from the simple belonging to the Quincy as a community. Lille doesnt’ even contribute much to their communal life anyway, so haha. Still, pride aside, he loves the Quincy, and that love made the slights against them brew a deep, burdening ire within him that carried on through the centuries.

YOUR MUSE’S VIEWS / OPINIONS ON THESE (IMPORTANT) PEOPLE ?

Aizen: positive / negative / neutral. ━ because: he’s a traitor of his kind, and even had the presumption to call himself ‘a god’. There’s no greater heresy.

Yhwach: positive / negative / neutral. ━ because: not to get redundant but Yhwach is the God he worships, fights for, waited for. He crossed land and water just because, one night, he heard Yhwach’s voice calling him. He found his people and was given a purpose thanks to Yhwach, he fought in a war without hope for Yhwach. He waited almost 1000 years, patiently, for Yhwach to awaken and regain his senses. It’s difficult to express with words the link that ties the divinity and the devotee; i think it’s trust, wonder, faith and love.

Mayuri: positive / negative / neutral. ━ because: the idea that such a cruel, disgusting criminal still walks freely in the Soul Society as a high-ranked officer viscerally upsets Lille. He would kill him without even wanting to see that face of his.

Kurosaki: positive / negative / neutral. ━ because: a Gemischt Quincy, brainwashed and exploited by Soul Society sounds like a terribly sad story. I think that, while not knowing him and acknowledging the threat Ichigo poses, Lille pities him.

Soul King: positive / negative / neutral. ━ because: he respects the Soul King for what he has been and for constituting the primordial archetype of the Quincy people, but he sides with Yhwach in wanting to end the agony and the unacceptable disrespect paid to that poor creature.

EXTRA(optional): add more characters which hold some meaning to your muse.

Gerard: they are the oldest members of the Schutzstaffel (and Pernida doesn’t really count), the way they interact makes me think that there’s a familiarity between them you don’t see elsewhere. I think they’ve been together through a lot, having fought together and shared the same expectant devotion. They’re definitely brothers in arms and good friends.

CONGRATS, you managed till to the end, now tag your fellow bleach partners!

TAGGED BY: always crediting @skyvar for her amazing meme uwu TAGGING: nope.

#CH STUDY.

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pkjacks · 4 years

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HOW TO WRITE A GRANT PROPOSAL (5 STEPS YOU SHOULD FOLLOW)

Writing a proposal can be time-consuming, especially if you lack the expertise in writing it. To put together a grant proposal, first, you must clearly describe a specific problem found in your community or area of interest, design or put up a program that will address it, and then describe the program in detail for the grant funding source.

If your organization is just applying for a grant for the first time, you will benefit from the entire process. Not only will you have the opportunity of securing funding, but you will also learn some other things about applying for grants and the process in general. Your goal should be to end up with a well-conceived proposal that lays out a strategy to address the problem you have identified, as well as the funding to pay for it. The steps to writing a grant proposal are enumerated below:

Step 1: Agree on the Problem

For a proposal to receive funding, the grantmaker (or funder) must be convinced that funding your program will have a positive and measurable effect on your community.

Start by identifying a need. What problem or issue in your community can be improved or changed with the grant money and a good effort? You may feel that there is a need to provide more water channels or clean up a polluted river. But unless there is general agreement in the community on the need for your project, it may be difficult to get a grant fund to to fix it — and even more difficult to complete the project.

Involve All Stakeholders To develop a successful proposal, it’s important to involve all of the stakeholders. A stakeholder is anyone affected by, or with an interest in, the project. For example, stakeholders in a river clean-up project include citizens in your community affected by the pollution, the party or parties responsible for the problem, anyone that will be involved in the clean up, businesses, government, and other entities that will help pay for the clean up, and government agencies that regulate pollution and water quality.

Ask for involvement from the organizations you already partner with and consider forming new relationships with like-minded groups. Having a diverse group is welcome since the levels of participation will vary among partners.

Plan a meeting of stakeholders at a convenient time and an acceptable place. Be prepared for disagreement among the stakeholders — remember that your goal is to try and achieve a consensus of opinion.

Define the Problem or Situation Involve stakeholders in developing a clear, concise description of the problem or situation. More than one meeting may be necessary to arrive at a consensus that satisfies most of the stakeholders. The effort will be worth it. Once people agree on the problem, the rest of the work flows more smoothly

Describe the Impact of the Problem Use the same clear, objective language to describe the problem’s impact, both in social and economic costs. It is a shame if pollution in a river harms wildlife, but it’s more compelling to show that people can no longer fish or swim in the river because of pollution. Show how the situation has changed the way people live. Show the impact of the situation in the community and how it can get worse.

Investigate Possible Causes of the Problem Even if the cause(s) of the problem appear obvious to you, seek formal agreement from as many stakeholders as possible on the cause(s). The amount of detailed evidence you will need to present to a grant-making agency will vary. If a formal investigation into the causes has not been conducted, consider forming a committee to conduct or oversee an investigation and a follow-up report. Bring in outside or neutral investigators or experts to bolster your credibility. And even if there is agreement on the cause of the problem, you may still need an investigation to formally document the cause and to quantify as many factors as you can, depending on the grant’s requirements.

When describing a problem, ensure you use language that is understandable by all stakeholders.

Step 2: Describe What You Hope to Achieve

You’ve described a problem and identified the most likely causes. Now you need to focus on the solution or desired outcome of your proposed activity. What will occur as a result of your project? How will a situation improve? What changes will the people experience? If you have a project to clean up a contaminated water channel; will people be able to drink clean water and catch fish afterward?

Measuring Success in Outputs and Outcomes Be careful not to confuse these terms. Outputs are measures of a program’s activities; outcomes are changes that result from the activities. Outputs matter because they lead to outcomes. Note that in our example, an output might be an increase in the size of a stream-side vegetative buffer. An outcome might be the resulting increase in the oyster harvest that occurs because the buffer stops pollutants from reaching the river. It is also important for you to realize that a funder may specify a different way to measure success.

Identify the Key Outcomes Some projects will have a long list of outcomes. It is advisable that you identify the main outcomes that will come from the project. The possible outcomes that may result from the purchase and dispensing of mosquito nets may include:

Reduction in mosquito

Improvement in the health of kids

Similarly, here are some possible outcomes that can result from a river clean up:

People will be able to swim in the river.

People in the community will be able to fish and eat the fishes caught

Ensure you state the major outcomes from the proposed project and make sure they are realistic and relatable. Work with your stakeholders to develop a consensus on two or three primary outcomes.

Set Realistic and Achievable Outcomes Your projected outcomes must be realistic. If you are doing a river clean up project, it is sure that some pollution will always exist within the river. Reducing the pollutants to an acceptable level in one year or even five years might be impossible. Consult with experts — local ones are fine — and determine what is realistic for your situation. If the river clean up will take ten years, say so. Failing to meet goals will make getting additional funding in the future more difficult. It is far better to under-promise and exceed your goals than to over-promise and under-deliver. However, don’t seriously underestimate what can be achieved. You may promise too little, and the project may not appear cost-effective and you may not secure the amount of funds you desire.

Measure and Record the Result of Your Work State what results you hope to achieve and when you hope to achieve them. If you are going to improve a situation in the community, to what level will they be improved? Use specific numbers or a range. For example, a pollutant will be decreased by 15 to 20 parts per million, or ppm).

If you cannot measure or count an output, do not include it. If you have set clear objectives that you would like to achieve, put them in a measurable form

Focus on End Results Always keep in mind your goal(s). Every activity should be evaluated on how it helps to achieve the ultimate goal(s) you have set. Every activity and step should follow in succession towards helping you realize the end results you have planned.

Step 3: Design Your Program

Now that you know your present state and what you aim to achieve, your next step should be to determine the best strategy and path to follow to achieve your aims. Note that: the best path may not always be the shortest, cheapest, easiest, or quickest.

So how do you decide the best path to take for your project?

Get Expert Opinions Grantmakers (funders), both governmental and private, often have experts on staff who can help you. You can contact them and ask for their help and opinions. Similarly, you can consult or use the services of small brands or freelancers who are specialized in the grant acquisition process. Here are a few freelance experts that are recommended

1. Nancycool 2. Phenomenal Brand 3. Writing Icon

Research What Others Have Done Reinventing the wheel is unnecessary. Look for organizations that have developed projects similar to yours. Examine their failures as closely as their successes. Knowing what does not work is often more valuable than knowing what does.

You may also get important information from the press and from professional journals — one exists for just about every topic you can imagine. Search the Internet and contact professional associations. If you are near a college or university, find out if a faculty member or researcher has studied the problem. But don’t just read about what others have done. Learn about projects firsthand by visiting the project site. If a visit isn’t possible, contact those involved in similar projects by phone, email, or letter.

Get Support/Approval From Stakeholders Whatever solution you choose, it’s essential that all key stakeholders agree fully on the plan. This is critical to your success. You may never get 100 percent agreement, but you want to prevent overwhelming opposition. People are most likely to support a project they helped create.

Ask your stakeholders to show support through letters of support and commitment. Letters of support state that the person or organization agrees with what you want to do and will not oppose you. More valuable are letters of commitment that specify how the person or organization will assist you. The assistance may include contributions of time, money, labour, space, supplies, materials, and other necessities.

Describe your solution in a clear manner With assistance from experts and your key stakeholders, clearly describe your solution. What will be done, and by whom? If your project is technical, you may want two versions: one expressed in technical terms and the other in lay terms. It is important that both technical experts and the general public understand your plan.

A clear description of how you plan to achieve your desired outcomes, with a timeline and detailed workplan, can be very useful in helping you obtain funding and getting a wider range of support from stakeholders.

Step 4: Locate Funding Sources

Now that you’ve agreed upon a solution and program design, you need to find the resources — the people, the equipment, and the money — to get your project done. Without the necessary funding, you may not be able to follow through with your plan. Locating funding requires an investment of time and careful planning. There are thousands of grant funding sources available worldwide. You may have to put in effort to search for the organizations that support similar projects as yours. You can either choose to search yourself or you can hire experts. Many funders have a lengthy process for reviewing proposals.

Start with Organizations or People You Know As most funders, both government and private, provide money for rather specific purposes, your search can be targeted. Inquire with the most obvious choices first, like those that have funded similar projects in your geographic area. If your solution is outside the scope of their funding, they may be able to point you toward the right source. Can they introduce you to contacts at organizations with which they have a relationship? Then, meet with the individuals to whom you’ve been referred. An introduction from someone the funder trusts lends you credibility.

Use the Internet to Research Funders Visit the federal government Web site www.grants.gov, the central source for locating and applying for up to 900 programs from 26 federal grant-making agencies, covering $350 billion in annual awards. In addition, check individual federal agency Web sites, as not all programs are listed on www.grants.gov. Also, check state and local government Web sites to see what grants they offer. State and local governments administer many federal and private grants and will list these as well.

Hire Professional grant researchers There are some sets of people that are professionals in researching and seeking grants. These individuals already have the right contacts and they know where to search for grant opportunities for any organization or business. Hire them and pay for their time — tell them what your organization and project are all about and they will help you find suitable grant opportunities that you can apply for and get funding. They can also help you during the application process; giving you expert advice and support throughout the entire process. Majority of them are freelancers and they can work remotely from any location in a timely manner. Here are a few recommended experts (people that have been tested over time) in that area that can help you make the whole process easy:

1. Phenomealguy2 2. Nancycool

Questions to Ask When Reviewing a Funding Source Once you find a promising funding source, learn as much as you can about that organization and its particular funding program. Read the information on the organization’s Web site thoroughly to find out:

* Do you want to work with this organization? * Does it typically fund organizations and projects like yours? * Do you qualify for a particular program? * Can you meet all of the grant requirements?

Establish a Relationship with the Grant Program Officer Grant announcements, often called “Request For Proposals” (RFPs), usually list a contact person — the program officer — who manages the process. Arrange to meet the program officer, preferably in person, or by phone. Program officers are usually experts in the application process and may be knowledgeable about your type of project. Let him/her know about your organization, its accomplishments, and your proposed project. Confirm that your project is eligible for funding. Ask any questions you have about the grant announcement and clarify anything you don’t understand. You will not appear foolish by asking a question; however, it would be a real mistake to omit a main item from your grant application.

Involve Your Funder in Your Project

Make effort to involve your funders in your project as they are key stakeholders and are a very important part of your project. Invite their representatives for major milestones and ensure you involve them in the best way you can. Some funders may want less involvement after giving you money. For such, ensure you send periodical reports of your project and the money given to you as the case may be. Also, some funders may want to share in your success, be generous to carry them along.

Step 5: Write Your Proposal

Once you have designed and written a description of your program, the needs you aim to address, the outcomes and activities of our program, the next step is to write your proposal. Use the information you have gathered as leverage and basis to apply for other grant opportunities. When writing proposals, tailor your proposal to the needs of each funder. Study previous proposals that were accepted and funded by the funders and use them as guides to put your proposal together.

Every RFP specifies what information should be included and in what format. Read all instructions carefully and ensure you follow them.

Follow instructions to the letter Do not assume anything can be taken for granted. When it comes to the grant application process, every step and information is important. Stick to the instructions given by the grant funder. If there is a page limit, stick to that page limit and ensure you do no exceed them.

Study the Criteria Usually, funders have criteria for evaluating the quality of a proposal. These criteria are used to rate a proposal. Only the proposals that meet the criteria set and are given the highest ratings by the grantmaker get funding. Study all the application criteria and ensure you write your proposal in the best way it can get the highest rating.

Use a Checklist to ensure your application is Complete

Move further to make a list of all the proposal criteria and all the point values if applicable. Use this list to check that you have included everything that is required for the proposal. Excluding vital information or submitting incomplete information may lower your score or result in your proposal getting rejected. You can use the list as a table of contents to make it easy for reviewers to find required information in your proposal. Pay close attention to the budget section — ensuring all costs are well explained.

Hire a Professional Writer You may choose not to, but hiring a professional writer or consultant to help you with your proposal comes with a lot of advantages. Not only is the consultant/writer skilled and experienced in grant programs, but they will also be able to commit time into the project; something you might not have. Spending a few bucks to put together a proposal that could land you a lot of funds for your project is not a bad idea. Considering the fact that there are a lot of competitors, you’d want to make use of every available expertise and resources that you can get to achieve your aim. The return on investment is always credible, especially if you get to get the grant fund.

Before you hire anyone, check out the reviews about them; what other clients are saying about them. Are they positive or negative? Ask about their professional background and expertise in handling projects similar to yours. There are quite a few tested consultants/writers that are recommended. These individuals have quite a good history and have been tried by several persons in the business industry. You can check out the gigs below if you are interested in working with some of these consultants.

1. Grant Writer/Consultant

2. Grant researcher and Proposal Writer

3. Grant Writer/Consulting gig

Edit thoroughly

Remember that whatever you say in your proposal and how you say it presents an image of what the proposal reviewer thinks about you, your project and your community. Be sure to edit the proposal carefully and ensure it is clear and easy to understand. You can also give the proposal to a cold reviewer (who has not been involved in the project) to go through and get their opinion. Ask them if it is easy for them to read and understand.

Try your best to eliminate grammatical errors, spelling or typographical errors. If you are hiring someone to help you write your proposal, be sure they edit and check for grammatical errors. Most professionals will do this anyways.

Before you attach your signature to an application, be sure that the application is complete and accurate.

Meet Deadlines

Most grant programs have specific deadlines. Missing them may result in your proposal being rejected outrightly and may affect your chances of getting funding in that period. It is better you start the process early so you can make up for any delays that may arise.

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