#it also confirms to plenty of us (looking at myself with this one) that we don’t ‘act like addicts’ so we’re actually completely fine

[oatmilkandvellichor]

ya i’m not like other girls. my therapist in high school use to tell me all the time how much better i was than her other teenage patients bc they were ‘just rich drunk kids’ and i had ✨poverty trauma✨ and was sober. of course, i went home and celebrated my metaphorical A+ in therapy by drinking lean and tequila alone in my bedroom, but obvs that’s just cos i’m quirky and different

[chyckles]

Mastermind

━ A Bucky Banes one-shot

━ Pairings: bucky barnes x fem!reader

━ Summary: Where you plan a masterplan to confess your feelings for Bucky.

━ Words: 2.6k

━ Warnings: None, just my bad grammar

━ A/N: Nat is alive in this one, just wanted a little AU were everyone is happy and alive.

masterlist

Bucky isn't in his best mood. Actually, he's been in a bad mood lately, at least when he's with you. So you know that you should wait until he seems better to put the plan into action. But you just can't wait anymore, you've been having a pretty bad week yourself, and you need to get it out of your chest just yet, or it may end up killing you.

So, arming yourself with courage, you approach him that night. He seems to be doing nothing, just scrolling boringly through his phone. He looks cute, using both of his hands to hold the phone, just like old people. 

"Hey, Buck" you say when you enter his range of vision.

He looks up from his phone, he doesn't look startled, probably heard you entering the room with his super-soldier ear.

"Hey" he says, and goes back to his phone. For a man who wasn't born in this century, he seems to enjoy new technologies.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure" he says, even though he looks pissed. You don't understand why he's acting so strange around you lately, maybe you really shouldn't be doing this.

You sigh.

"So... I was planning on watching a movie with Nat, but she just went on a mission. Do you... want to watch it with me?" you ask quickly, like if you say it fast enough the words would change or something.

"I'm busy" he simply says, frowning. He doesn't look busy at all.

You look around as if looking for something or someone that's keeping him busy. You, of course, don't find anything, so you nod sadly and turn around "Okay, I'll ask someone else" 

Great, the plan hasn't even begun and you have already failed. You feel stupid. Why would a man like Bucky Barnes be interested in you? You're just a normal woman, there are plenty of better options out there, even inside the team. 

As you approach the door, you feel the pain of rejection wash over you. Bucky and you were always close friends, but lately, he's been acting all cold and weird with you. Maybe he found out you like him and is trying to push you away? That's the only thing that makes sense, and it hurts you. It hurts you because not only are you losing the man you have feelings for, but you're also losing a great friend.

"Wait" you hear Bucky's voice when you reach the door.

"Mhm?" you ask, turning around, he's now standing.

"You know what? A movie sounds great" he says with a nod.

You can't help but smile "Really? Cool. I was thinking of a horror movie, but if it's not your thing we can watch something else. You know, if you get scared easily?" you tease.

You're beginning to regret teasing him, now that your relationship is not at its best, but then he smiles:

"Yeah, I think I can handle myself, horror sounds good"

You nod, now excited "Great, I'll make some popcorn a prepare some drinks, we'll have fun"

"Sounds good"

You nod with a smile "You can choose the movie while I prepare everything. Choose a good one"

With that being said, you start to walk to the kitchen.

Now your plan can begin. To be completely honest, you didn’t have anything prepared with Nat, you just needed an excuse so you didn’t sound so desperate about it. You have everything planned: first, you will confirm if Bucky likes you, with subtle touches and light words. Then, you will finally confess your feelings. You just hope you don’t embarrass yourself.

Since he’s been so rude to you lately, you’re not so sure about the plan, but what can you do? Just stay there, watching him from a distance, but never making a move? You’re not like that, you have to do something, or you may combust. At least you have to find out if he likes you back, or if his sudden behavior with you is because he doesn't like you anymore, even as a friend. At least he has accepted to watch the movie, that has to mean something. Right?

With that in mind, you grab the popcorn and the drinks and make your way to the living room. Bucky is already there, scrolling through a streaming service with a frown on his face.

“Hey” you leave everything on the table and smile at him. He doesn’t smile back, just nods while you sit down next to him. Why is he being so reserved? You really don’t understand.

You can’t help but notice that he’s sitting in a way that his metal arm is not facing you, how convenient.

“So… have you chosen a movie yet?” you say as you eat popcorn.

“No, still trying to think what to pick” he says, turning his face back to the TV. 

"Anything's fine, really. It doesn't have to be a masterpiece (horror movies normally aren't)"

“Alright” and his eyes linger on yours, maybe longer than he intended. You can’t help but notice and smile.

Then he chooses a random movie and press play. He makes himself comfortable and you catch him looking at you. Is he looking at you with happiness, discomfort or something more? You can’t tell, his face is indecipherable.

You turn away from him, you don’t want to make it so obvious that you like him, not before putting your plan into action. So you stare at the movie, but you can still feel his eyes looking at you from time to time.

The movie plays and you’re too nervous to make a move. You sigh, now unsure about everything.

Then, the perfect moment for your plan occurs. There’s a jump scare in the movie. You’re not scared at all, but you jump a little and hold his hand, wanting to see his reaction.

His face doesn't change, but you can feel his body stiffening. Maybe he doesn’t like you after all? Maybe this was a bad idea? Maybe you’re making a fool of yourself?

But then he squeezes your hand and looks at you with a reassuring smile. All the doubts leave your mind when you see that smile that you love so much, when you feel his hand around yours, comforting you.

First part of your plan: done. He didn’t back off, he didn’t look at you like you’re crazy or called you out.

It still didn’t mean anything, right?

You continue watching the movie, and you proceed with the second part of the plan. This is a little more risky, but you assure yourself that it’s worth it. You fake yawn a few times.

Finally, you, slowly, rest your head on his shoulder. 

He doesn't move, maybe even being a little more frozen than he normally would be. You smile, this is a good sign, right? You wish you could see his face, or read his mind.

You continue watching the movie like this, resting your head on his shoulder and still holding his hand. There’s nowhere in the world where you wish to be more than here. 

You still have more things in your plan, but the movie ends before you can make them happen. You finally separate from him, your body hot where he was touching you.

“Hmm, not the best movie I’ve watched, but entertaining enough, right?” you ask with a smile.

“Yeah, it wasn’t bad” he nods. 

He looks at his hands, you can feel he’s nervous. Is that a good sign or a bad one? You can’t tell.

“I should get going” he suddenly says.

You feel disappointed.

You still haven’t decided if you’re gonna confess or not. He didn’t react bad to any of your moves, but you still feel unsure. What if he sees you just like a friend? What if you ruin your friendship? Then again, your friendship hasn't been in its best stage lately, you wouldn't be ruining anything.

You decide to do it. You just can’t stand this feeling. Looking at him, being close to him, but not being able to kiss him, to touch him… it’s just so painful.

“Got somewhere better to be?” you finally ask.

“Not really” he says “But… I should go. Thanks for the movie, tho”

He stands up and starts walking away.

“Wait” you say. You can’t just let him go like that, you may not have another chance like this, where you two are alone “Wait, I… need to tell you something, can you sit down for a minute?”

“Alright” he says with a confused frown, but he does as you say and sits down again.

You swallow nervously, unsure where to start. You decide to start with the beginning:

"I... I kind of lied to you. I wasn't planning on watching a movie with Nat, I haven't even seen her since yesterday. I... planned all of this to spend time with you" you confess "Alone time with you" you specify.

“You did?” he asks. He seems confused.

“Mhm, and you know why?” This is it, you’re gonna say it.

“Why?” he asks softly.

“Because I like you” you finally confess. 

The room falls completely silent. Bucky is apparently frozen. You are too.

You try to look into his eyes, looking for a sign. But he’s not looking at you.

“Well? You don’t have anything to say?” you chuckle nervously.

"I..." he stutters before he manages to get his voice back. “I like you too."

You sigh and laugh with relief "Really? I mean, I..."

“Yeah, I really do” This time he looks at you, and you can finally see his eyes. They’re shining, you have never seen them like that, you have never seen them as beautiful “I like you a lot”

You smile and lean in towards him. You look at his lips and then at his eyes, like begging him to kiss you.

You are so close… so close you can feel his breath. So close he can probably hear your fast heartbeat. “Kiss me” you whisper.

You don’t have to ask twice, he closes the space between you and kisses you. His mouth presses against yours, soft and gentle at first, then more firmly, with a hunger that has been growing for too long. His hand travels to your waist, holding you; and yours goes to his hair, holding him even closer to you. 

It feels like you two are melting into each other, his body pressed against you, every inch being touched. It feels almost surreal, almost magical.

Your tongues meet and you both let out a murmur of joy. Everything is perfect, this is how things should be.

You grab all the courage you have left and make your way towards his lap, putting each leg on either side of him. He lets it happen. Your legs are now wrapped around him, making it impossible to be closer.

He now holds you with both his arms, probably without thinking about it. Both the warm and the cold sides of him make you feel whole.

You finally separate from him to catch your breath, he seems to be just fine, tho.

He then smiles shyly, like you just did not kiss fiercely a second ago.

“I’m glad you told me”

“Yeah, I’m glad too” you say with a smile.

He shifts, making himself more comfortable, before he looks into your eyes with a smile "I… how long has it been that you feel this way about me?"

You raise your eyebrow, confused by the sudden question, but decide to answer:

“I think I liked you since the moment I met you, since the moment I saw that pretty face framed by that long hair" you laugh, and he blushes a little, making you blush too "But I thought I just liked you as a friend, I didn't realize what my feelings were until a few weeks ago, you know, after that mission... when you were injured, and I thought..."

“You thought what?”

“That I was gonna lose you” you confess and that makes him smile sweetly. Your right hand travels to his cheek and start caressing it "Yeah, and in that moment it hit me: I didn't want you as a friend anymore, I wanted to hold you, to take care of your injury, to kiss you until you feel better”

After a moment of comfortable silence you ask: 

“What about you? When did you start to have feelings for me?"

He seems to think about it for a moment, maybe contemplating if he should tell you.

"Do you remember when I told you I was having nightmares about the time I was tortured by HYDRA?"

“Yeah, that night neither of us could sleep?”

"Mhm, well... in that moment, when you comforted me... when you were there for me... I knew then. That was when I realized how much I liked and cared for you, more than any friend or teammate ever before."

You smile softly "That was a while ago, you should've told me sooner"

“I thought you would never feel the same way about me, though you were just being kind, like any friend would”

“That’s funny, I’ve been avoiding telling you because of the same reason” you chuckle slightly.

“I guess we’re both stupid”

“Yeah… But, anyways, I have a question… why were you being so… why were you avoiding me lately?” you didn’t wanna say the word ‘mean’.

“Oh, you notice?” he says, and you can feel embarrassment in his voice “I just… it hurted me being around you, but not being able to… you know… kiss you or…” he rambles.

You smile and kiss him again, this time the kiss is soft and short.

When you separate, you can’t help but laugh out loud with the thoughts that cross your mind.

“God, Nat is not gonna believe I told you”

“What? You've been telling Nat about me?" he raises an eyebrow.

“Of course, she’s my friend” you smile.

"Right, right. What else did you tell her?” he asks. Is he teasing you?

"Oh, nothing, really. Just rambling about how beautiful I think you are... you know, that kind of things girls talk about" you say caressing his cheek. That makes him blush again "I think she would be relieved that I finally confessed, because now I can tell you instead of her, she was getting irritated" you chuckle.

He chuckles too, probably imagining Nat pissed about you rambling about him. The thought of it is just too ridiculous.

"Did you always plan to confess to me at some point then?" he asks.

“Of course, I always have to make the first move” you joke.

"So, you really planned all of this? Not just the movie, but the whole confession as well?" he smirks.

"Yeah, the movie was just to make sure you liked me too. You know, holding your hand and all that... I'm a mastermind"

“And I guess that means you'll be making the first move the rest of the time as well?"

"Of course" you smile evilly.

"Of course," he mimics back. "Well, I guess I'll just have to get used to you taking charge then."

He smiles back at you in the same way you did and leans forward so that his face is close to you again.

"What are you planning next?" he hints with a smirk.

"Well, I was planning on asking you to be my boyfriend?" you ask with a sly smile.

"Be your boyfriend?" he repeats with a teasing smirk. "Did you plan that as well? Is this the next step in the mastermind's plan?"

"Mhm, is it working? Would you say yes?"

"Yes," he suddenly answers, not wasting any time. "I'll be your boyfriend."

"Great" you say and then give him a quick kiss.

"And now that I'm your boyfriend, what are our next steps?"

"I have to keep that a secret, don't want to spoil my masterplan" you wink.

"I should've known," he says, laughing softly. "Always a step ahead, isn't it?"

"Always" you chuckle.

[gaysindistress]

Hiya ❤️ would you maybe do buck imagine for my bday tomorrow for me? I'd really need some distraction atm. One where you have a crush on each other but of course don't talk about it. Then one night you enter the living room all dressed up for a date and buck is totally flashed by you, until you ask for his opinion for it. When he realizes this is for another guy he gets all bad mooded and leaves. Then instead of your date, you head to Buckys room and decide to finally make a move and kiss him and admit your feelings, which leads to also sleeping together and lots of cute Bucky afterwards? 🙊

Hi babes!!! Im so sorry I didn’t reply to this sooner. I wanted to wait until I finished the fic before I answered. I left it more suggestive but there’s plenty of cute Bucky!!

Warnings: cursing and suggestive content

“I told you to stay back! Do you ever listen?” Bucky sneers when he spots a furry of black rush past him into the open courtyard.

“Yeah just not to you. I’ve learned to tune out your voice,"I plainly state back, tucking myself behind a cement pillar after making a mad dash across the courtyard.

“Would it kill you to put your ego aside for one mission? For…” he’s interrupted by the rain of bullets coming his way and he drops down to the ground, “Sam do you copy?”

“Loud and clear,” he answers through their earpieces, “It looks like there’s about five guys shooting at you. Want Redwing to take them out?”

Bucky’s nose flares at the mention of the godforsaken machine but concedes, “Cover her and I’ll do it.”

“Excuse me? I don’t need anyone’s…” a shriek cuts me short and the sound of my own bullets confirms that I do, in fact, need help and Redwing is on it within seconds, taking out the offended men.

“What was that?” Bucky tries not to sound mocking but it’s just too good of a moment to miss.

“Shove it, Barnes. You’re the one who doesn’t immediately think of his bionic arm because he’s right handed.”

“Sam you told her about that? That’s it. Both of you are fired when we get back.”

We chuckle at his false threat and focus on the task at hand; getting inside of the looming concrete building, extract the intel, and get out in one piece.

“Sammmmmmmmmm…”

The man glances up from the book he is reading at the sound of his name being drawn out, “yesssssss y/nnnnnnn?”

“I need to talk to you,” I nervously whisper, twisting around to see if anyone is in the room. Slipping his bookmark into the book, Sam sets it down and sits back against the couch, gesturing for me to take a seat.

“I swear to god if this has to be with robo cop, your free therapy sessions will come to an end,” he teased me but comes off harsher than he intended and he cringes when my face falls.

“Oh it’s okay. I’m sorry to bother you,"I quickly try to recover the social blunder I’ve made but he grabs my wrist and tells me to sit my ass back down.

“You’re not bothering me and you know better than to take me seriously,” he gently chides me as he pulls me into his side, “what did he do now?”

Fingers twist in uncomfortable angles as I ring my hands together in my lap. Regret starts to fill me and pushes against me like the strong coastal winds, trying to shove me off of the couch and out of the room.

“Nothing. I just…I just hate it, ya know? I hate the whole shitty back and forth we have and how he’s always such an asshole but only to me. I hate that…” I trail off and lean my head on Sam’s shoulder, “I hate that I can’t just tell him how I feel. At this point just getting it off my chest is all I want; I don’t care if he feels the same. I wouldn’t even care if he rejected me, as long as I just didn’t have to live with this disgusting school girl crush.”

Sam chuckles, “have you tried talking to him?”

“We are talking about the same person here, right?”

Although I can’t see him, I can feel the eye roll and heat it in the sarcasm that drips from his voice.

“I will shove you off this couch, I’m trying to HELP you,” he jokingly pushes me away causing us to both laugh, “if you won’t talk to him, then why not move on?”

My laughter dies instantly.

Move on?

Move on?

Move fucking on?

“It’s not that simple,” I snipe at Sam and he hisses from the fake burn of my words.

“It was a suggestion. You don’t have to listen to it,” he says with mock defensiveness.

Another fit of laughter overcomes us and I fall into his lap, completely unaware of how this might look to others. That is until we hear a snort of disgust from the doorway.

The owner?

The one and only Bucky Barnes.

I scramble off of Sam and clear my throat, embarrassed that Bucky walked past.

“Come on, Sam. You can do better than her,” he says with a scowl before striding down the hallway again.

Sam’s jaw tenses and he’s muttering to himself as he stands, taking off after the super solider. He pauses at the door, “I’m sorry for him.”

“It’s fine,” I mumble but it’s not convincing enough.

“No it’s not and I’m going to kick his ass for it. And for the record I think you should at least try and date other people.”

I give him a small smile as he turns and takes off after Bucky, shouting the whole way that he better be ready to get his ass whopped.

Try and date other people.

Try and date other people.

Try and date other people.

It feels deeply wrong to even think about dating other people but Bucky clearly isn’t in a place to even hear my feelings for him.

I pull my phone out and open the most god forsaken app to ever exist; Tinder.

The profile that Yelena and Natasha helped me make has several matches and unread messages but I haven’t had the heart to respond or even open them. Scrolling aimlessly, I pick someone random and message him back.

I have to at least try no matter how loud my heart is screaming at me.

Nelly Furtado and Megan Thee Stallion have been on repeat for the last three maybe four hours. I’m sure everyone is annoyed and would be banging on my door, shouting at me to turn it off if Sam hadn’t told literally every single person in the tower that I had a date. Tony clapped me on the shoulder, congratulating me for getting out there while Yelena and Natasha demanded to know every detail about this mystery man. I promised Sam that I wouldn’t forget this and he better be ready to lose next time we spar during training. His usual smile dropped as the fear of god struck him. Well the fear of ME struck him.

Smoothing my dress down, I cock my head at my reflection in the mirror. I have to admit that I look stunning in the simple fitted dress that Natasha practically ordered I wear. It’s a tie dye pattern of cream and red with thin straps and a scoop neckline that shows off the star pendant necklace that Tony and Pepper gave me when I first moved in. A “welcome to the tower and good luck” gift as he put it with a teasing smile. Simple hoops line my ears and two matching bracelets adore my wrists however the simplicity of my outfit feels over the top. I’d changed my shoes about 40 times and settled on a pair of tan platform sandals but something is nagging at me to change again.

I check the time and curse under my breath when I see that I need to leave in 5 minutes, which certainly isn’t enough time to change everything. The thought of canceling occurs to me but I know I’ll never hear the end of it.

Checking my reflection one last time, I grab my phone and shove it in my purse before leaving my room. Normally I’d be able to tell if someone was in the common living room but I’m too distracted by hyping myself up for this date to notice that there is someone sitting on the couch.

A certain asshole who never fails to piss me off but also makes me fall for him even more to be exact.

I come to a halt when I feel his presence and duck behind the wall, praying he didn’t see me. Peaking my head out, I’m relieved that he hasn’t and my heart clenches at the sight. Bucky looks so peaceful sitting on the couch dressed in a hoodie and joggers with a well loved book in his lap. Although his hood is pulled up, his ruffled hair peeks out, having grown longer and longer with each passing day. When I first met him, he was damn near bald with his short cropped hair but he’s let it grow long enough that he has to push it back every now and again. I jokingly offered him a hair tie during training one day after I saw how frustrated he was getting with it. He snatched it from me with a grumble and sported a unicorn hair for the remainder of training. Sometimes I think I see that black hair tie on his wrist but he’s all too eager to get away from me for me to properly look.

“I can feel you staring, pervert,” his voice cracks from not being used in hours and I flinch at the sudden noise.

“I’m not staring,” I weakly mumble and step back into the living room.

He hasn’t looked up from his book, still reading the pages as he speaks to me, “yes you were.”

I roll my eyes and stick my tongue out at him which of course, he somehow sees. It’s beyond me how he can literally sense everything except for my feelings towards him.

His piercing eyes flicker up at me for a brief moment and back to his book before doing a double take.

“Where are you going?”

His question catches me off guard and I scowl at him, “what are you? My dad?”

His jaw twitches but he says nothing.

Satisfied that I got the best of him, I push my luck and ask him, “how do I look? Would you want to go on a date with me?”

Apparently that’s a big fucking mistake because he’s up and storming out of the room like a fucking child without a single word.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I mumble under my breath and go after him, “Barnes! I asked you a question, don’t you know it’s rude to storm off and not answer when someone asks you something?”

The behemoth of a man still says nothing as he continues to stomp down the hall.

“Bucky!” I shout at him and he stills right at his door. His left hand is gripping his door knob and I can hear it crumble under its strength. He doesn’t turn to look at me. No no he turns his head just enough to side eye me as he spits out, “fuck off, Y/N.”

The use of my first name takes me back. He never calls me y/n, not even when he’s furious with me for not falling orders. It’s always my last name, Agent, or some rude nickname and on very rare occasions when he’s flirting with me to be a dick, doll.

“Excuse me?” I scoff at him, crossing my arms over my chest.

“I said fuck off,” he grits out as he rips the door open and tries to slam it shut but my hand stops him.

“You don’t get to talk to me like that, no matter how much you hate me. What is your deal anyways? All I did was ask if you liked my outfit which shouldn’t matter to you anyways,” I tell him as I shove into his room. It’s his turn to be taken aback and he stumbles backwards when I push through.

“You’ve made it very clear that you despise me and I, for the life of me, cannot figure out why,” my pent up frustration and anger come spilling out as I continue to tell him off, “I was nothing but kind and friendly when I first got here but you? You were a dick from day one and only to me! You didn’t treat Yelena or even fucking Sharon that way. It was just me and it got worse! Oh my god it’s gotten so much worse and whether or not you want to believe it, I’m a person who has feelings! I can’t even begin to count how many times I’ve cried in the shower because of you. It got so bad that I would cry myself to sleep like a fucking idiot and someone had to sit with me until I fell asleep so I wouldn’t throw myself into a goddamn panic attack. Poor Sam almost moved in because he was the only one that could calm me down. Did you know that?”

He’s staring at me with wide eyes but not a single emotion crosses over them. It makes me unbelievably angry that my outburst doesn’t even phase him.

So I keep going, “and you want to know the worst part? The day I got here, Tony was showing me around and he brought me into the kitchen where everyone was eating. You were there, flirting with Sam just to piss him off but you looked so happy. You were laughing and smiling so much that Tony, fucking Tony made a comment about how that was the happiest he’d seen you in a while. You hadn’t seen us yet but when you did, you gave me that charming Brooklyn smile and it was all over for me. From that single smile, I knew I was screwed because I’d caught feelings for you. Not that it mattered though because within a matter of hours, you lost that smile and were so awful. I tried so hard to make you like me but nothing. If anything it made you hate me even more but no matter what, I’ve always had these…feelings for you that I don’t want anymore. I don’t want to look at you and feel my heart breaking because you don’t feel the same way. I don’t want to pick apart every person I talk to because they’re not you and I hate that they’re not. I don’t want to cry to Sam about how it feels like a piece of me is dying when I’m not around you but you want nothing to do with me. I don’t want to feel like this anymore, Bucky. I can’t… I can’t feel like this.”

By the end of my confession, the tears I swore I would never shed again have fallen. They ruin the makeup I spent an hour putting on, pretending it was a date with Bucky because thinking about Miguel makes my skin crawl. I know I look like a mess but I don’t care. I’ve said my peace finally and while it’s embarrassing and I know I’ll regret it later, it’s done. Maybe now I can move on or at least find comfort in knowing that I won’t have to face Bucky again and live with these disgusting unrequited feelings.

He’s still said nothing, hasn’t moved or otherwise acknowledged that he’s heard me. He just stands there, staring at me with a clenched jaw and completely still. The only noises that fill his room are my sniffles and the subtle whirring of his arm as he clenches his hands into fists.

Of course he wouldn’t say anything. Why would he? It’s not surprising but hurtful regardless because I would’ve hoped he’d find a shred of kindness to show me under all of that hatred.

I shake my head as I turn to leave, unable to deal with him and with the fact that I’m now late for my date. My phone buzzes and I’m greeted with a rather rude message from Miguel about how unattractive it is that I’m late and didn’t even give him a heads up. It takes everything in me to not scream as loud as I can and throw my phone against the wall. Instead I settle for angrily shoving it back into my purse while more than a few foul words fall from my lips.

A cold metal hand clasps onto my wrist as I pull open the door and I look down at it in shock.

“I don’t know what to say,” Bucky whispers, his grip gentle but inescapable all the same. I want to tear myself away but he’s touching me. My heart begins to pound at the connection between us and I let out a shuttered breath.

“You can start by apologizing for how you talked to me,” I manage to say with a voice that is steadier than my breathing.

“I’m sorry, doll. Not just for that but for everything. I’m sorry I made you feel that way. I’m sorry I made you cry and made you think I hated you. I’m sorry I ever treated you the way that I did. No one deserves that and especially not you,” he says in a low voice while slowly closing the distance between us. His hand slides up my arm until it rests on my bicep and he asks for me to come closer too with a soft squeeze.

“I know actions are louder than words and if you’ll let me, I will do anything you ask of me to make it up to you. All you have to do is ask, doll and I swear I’ll do it,” his voice cracks with emotions that I never thought he could feel. Tears brim his eyes as he looks at me with such hope that I feel my own threaten to start falling again.

“No,” it shocks me just as much as it shocks him. His hand loosens and falls to his side.

“No,” I breathe out, “I can’t…that’s….Bucky I just admitted that I’m in love with you and that’s all you have to say? I appreciate the effort but it’s not…no it’s not enough.”

“You’re in love with me?”

Disbelief laces his words and I let out a scoff because he can’t be fucking serious right now.

“Don’t… don’t make me say it,” I stammer over my words as my sobs get caught in my throat.

He blinks at me for a moment before repeating it more to himself than me, “you’re in love with me.”

I wait with bated breath as he processes the revelation. He takes a sudden step forward and I take one back out of habit. Pain explodes onto his face as he steps back again and I swear to god I’ve never felt my heart break as much as it is now.

“Don’t play with my emotions, Bucky,” I hiss, the words harsher than I intend

“Jesus fuck,” he mutters while running a hand through his hair, “do you really think I’d do something like that?”

An answer materializes on my tongue but I can’t say it and he learns it from the struggle in my eyes.

“Wow, I…I can’t believe that you think that low of me.”

“No, I don't because I think the world of you.”

He shakes his head, “don’t play with my emotions either, doll.”

“Considering that I don’t know what they are most of the time, I don’t think I could even if I tried.”

There’s a shift in the tension and I can’t place what. Bucky straightens his shoulders and looks at me with a new intensity. He attempts another step in my direction and when I don’t back away, he begins to prowl towards me.

“I’m not good with words.”

“Trust me I’m aware.”

“I haven’t been able to think about my own wants and needs until recently.”

He backs me into the door but stays a foot or so away from me.

“Where are you going with this?” My voice is whinier than I’d hoped and I pray to god he doesn’t notice.

But he does and the smile that hooked me in the first place overtakes his face.

“Anywhere you want me to, doll. If you want me to give you space, I’ll give it to you even though it’ll break me,” he whispers seriously, “If you want me to grovel until we’re both old and forget why, I’ll gladly get on my knees for you right now. If you want me to show you how I feel, all you have to do is say yes.”

Hesitation creeps up on me because I know what I want and what I want is not what I need.

“Yes.”

Bucky takes the final steps and pins me against the door, both arms caging me in so I have nowhere to go. My hands fly up to his shoulders as he leans in, not quite letting our lips touch.

“I’m in love with you too,” he whispers against my lips before his descends upon mine. I half expected him to devour me but it’s unhurried, slow and languid as our lips move in sync. I can feel his love in the way that his tongue slides against my bottom lip before slipping in. He’s gentle with me as his hands move to cradle my head and pull me impossibly closer. He's apologizing for the tears and angst I’ve felt as my phone rings and he silences it without breaking our kiss. He’s showing that he’ll spend as long as it takes to show his love for me as he urges me to wrap my legs around his waist and takes me to his bed.

My phone rings again and he lets out a frustrated growl as he breaks our kiss to answer it. He rolls his eyes at the name that flashes and presses the answer button with a little too much aggression.

“Hello?”

I can’t hear what Miguel says but Bucky’s replies are very clear.

“This is her boyfriend.”

“Since when? Since right fucking now.”

He hangs up and tosses my phone to the other side of his bed.

“Boyfriend, huh?” I tease however it falls short when he dips his head to my neck, licking and sucking at my skin.

“Have a problem with it, doll?”

“Not at all.”

[apomaro-mellow]

okay yall convinced me to continue this

Eddie looked around and all he saw was black. Was this what death was like? He expected more people. But maybe death was just solitude. Then all of a sudden he wasn't alone.

He jumped back when he came face to face with, himself.

"What the fuck?"

His mirror image looked back and smirked. Then looked down at his hands.

"Finally."

"What the hell is going on here? Where am I? W-we?"

"Vecna is putting us back together. We can see everyone again soon."

"You mean...I'm not dead?"

"Oh we're very much alive. In fact, I'd say we're better than before."

As his mirror said that, Eddie felt a new energy thrumming in his veins.

"Why? Why would Vecna do this, I was tryina kill that bastard!"

"He wants something in return. To use us against them."

"Like hell that's gonna happen. I-"

"Didn't let myself get chomped on just so I could be used by an actual murderer."

"How did you-"

"Is it not obvious? I'm still you. But I'm the parts he wants to use. The part that's afraid of Vecna. Afraid of the world for seeing us for what we are. And angry at our lot in life. And ashamed for how we feel."

Eddie didn't respond. It was all a lot to take in. When his other self mentioned shame for feeling something, a certain face popped into his head.

"We're going to see him again. And this time, I'm going to take what I want."

"You put a hand on him and-" Eddie stopped himself. Not only did he feel pretty powerless here, he was never that good at restraining his own actions. "You touch him and he'll kick your ass."

---------------------

After his little stunt, Eddie/Kas found themselves tied up again, this time in Steve's garage. And this time with chains (duct tape boys? really?). Nancy also made sure his legs were chained to the chair and had a shotgun trained on him the whole time they talked.

"We're all sure he's real?", she asked, nudging his cheek with her barrel. She was the only one here to actually experience Vecna's illusions besides Max. She knew how convincing they could be.

"He's real", Jonathan said, a lighter ready just in case. "Steve and the others said so."

Nancy rifled through all the information she got when she received the code red. Something that looked like Eddie had returned. But it was very obviously NOT Eddie. Stronger, faster, more durable. And apparently was receiving orders directly from Vecna. He also apparently had a craving for flesh, having busted into the meat locker of a deli before being found.

"What's your game this time? Use our friend's face to trick us?", she questioned.

"Heh, it really warms our heart that you call us 'friend'. Guess quality time over quantity, huh?" He was smiling, like none of this was a threat to him. Knowing creatures of the Upside Down, it would take more than one bullet, but Nancy had plenty.

"I believe I laid down my terms with the others pretty clearly. I'll follow your rules, so long as Steve is the one to watch me."

"Why Steve?", Jonathan asked.

Kas grinned at him. "Steve's my favorite."

"Oh my god, shut up, shut up, shut up", Eddie lamented from their shared mental space.

While Nancy and Jonathan were handling that situation in the garage, Steve was trying to get a grip on what was happening in his house. They were practically running up the walls.

"Steve you don't understand!", Dustin exclaimed. "This is huge!"

"I don't see how a monster posing as Eddie is huge?"

"But they're not just posing. It IS Eddie", Mike said.

"We don't know that. Not until Nancy confirms it."

Will rolled his eyes. "Oh like she'd know. She talked to Eddie for what? A day?"

"Cut the sass. And if you can talk, you can move your hands." Steve handed Will the knife and pushed some peppers his way.

"The point is WE, you know the people who actually hung out with Eddie would know him better. We should be the ones interrogating him", Lucas said, actually doing his duty of buttering a casserole dish.

"The other point is we don't NEED to question him because we already know that it's actually Eddie", Dustin said. "Vecna wouldn't know who Kas is. Eddie's in there. And he's telling us that he's on our side."

"You remember what Max told us, right? Vecna gets in your head. He sees what you see, knows what you know." Steve took the dish from Lucas and poured some rice into it. "If he got to Eddie, then he knows what Eddie knows." When Will finished dicing, Steve took the knife and was about to wash it under running water when he heard someone approach.

"Is Mama Steve making dinner?"

Steve reacted first and thought second and the knife flew threw the air. Kas caught it easily and twirled the knife in his hand.

"Nice aim. Lemme guess, little league?"

Nancy and Jonathan were right behind him. Steve wanted to respond. Maybe ask 'what the hell? why isn't he tied up? Nancy where's your gun?' But the kids got to it first.

"Tell us everything!" Mike demanded.

Dustin started rallying off questions. "Are you actually Eddie? Just enhanced? Or like a split personality? Is it one that came naturally or one Vecna implanted? Is Eddie like inside of you? Can he come out?"

"All in due time", Kas said, walking by them all to get to Steve, who once again looked like a deer with a car coming straight on.

"We struck a deal, princess. Looks like we're roomies."

There was still at least a foot separating them yet Steve felt boxed in. It was the same sensation he got whenever Eddie talked to him and only him, but intensified.

"Umm, hope you like chicken and rice?"

Internally, Eddie was falling to his knees. Steve's cooking, Steve in the process of cooking, with his little chickadees orbiting him. It was a domestic scene too much for his pining heart and he was actually glad right now that he wasn't holding the reins. Falling to his knees for chicken and rice wasn't the best look for a metalhead.

"Eddie would love some", Kas said cooly.

--------------------------

Dinner was an odd affair. All of them trying to figure out Kas in their own way. Dustin and Mike with their blatant questions, Lucas telling them to cool it, Nancy with her more subtle line of questioning, Will trying to see if he could feel anything, and Jonathan trying to see if Will was effected.

Steve was the only one pointedly trying to ignore the man which was very difficult given that he was doing everything in his power to get his attention. His favorite move seemed to be nudging Steve's foot with his own, causing Steve to bump his knee against the table at least three times.

Eddie wanted to roll into a hole and die. He especially wanted to do so when Kas started eyeing Steve's leg, because he knew what was coming.

"No, absolutely not. He let you get away with this much. But he will rip of your hand for this", Eddie said.

"I think he'd let us get away with much more." So Kas went ahead and put his hand on Steve's thigh, making him jolt up from his chair.

So yeah, quite the interesting dinner.

After eating, they figured out a rotation schedule for watching him. Technically Steve was only on the schedule for six hours a day. But considering Kas would be at his house the entire time, they'd be spending a lot more time together.

The rest of them were getting ready to leave so that they could check in with the others, but Nancy hung back to talk to Steve semi-privately.

"Are you sure you'll be okay?"

Steve glanced at the mysterious figure that was masquerading as Eddie, who was openly leering at him while ignoring the children.

"I'll be..uh, I can hang in there Nance, don't worry."

Then everyone else left, leaving the two of them alone. Steve felt a little like caged prey. But he also felt like this version of Eddie wouldn't hurt him. Not physically at least. But that left other things to do to him and Steve was afraid to go down that rabbit hole of possibilities.

"It's just you and me, Steve."

Part 3A More plotty, fluffy, bit of angst

Part 3B Less plotty, more smutty

Tag team:

@jestyzesty

@mightbeasleep

@findafight

@spooky-mulders

[nataliaphantomhivesblog]

Predictions for Soukoku’s fate (BSD CH 109 spoilers!!)

How I be looking after dedicating two posts on the possibility of Chuuya not being a vampire due to the fact he was faceless for absolutley no reason during some chapters, thinking it was important: 

alright people, i wish i could express my embarassment further but instead of kicking my feet, screaming and crying over my miscalculations, i will proceed to (hopefully) redeem myself with my following predictions.  

Guys, first of all I need to tell you something that I think is absolutely obvious: Dazai is not going to die. 

thematically, it makes absolutley no sense for Dazai to die considering how many characters still depend on him, EVEN HIMSELF.

We still haven’t learned his backstory, we still haven’t had a cathartic moment between Akutagwa and Dazai, Atsushi is yet to learn more from his mentor, and he’s overall a very key character to foil others and develop them while he’s at it.

Even Dazai himself dying right now feels extremely weightless, we haven’t even learned anything about Dazai’s past and he’s already killed? without growing as a person? without fullfilling Oda’s promise?  I don’t know, personally to me, direction wise, development wise and plot wise killing him off is absolutley nonsensical.

Asagiri does tend to take a very unique and unpredictable route with his writing and characters, but for plots sake, I highly doubt Dazai is gone forever.

Also, Fydoor and Dazai continue throwing uno reverse cards at each other, always catching one another unexpectedly. I am still going strong on the idea that Double Black will catch Fyodor off-guard.

Fyodor during these whole prision sections has been constantly belittling and teasing Dazai over how shallow his bond with Chuuya is.

When that’s beyond the truth. Dazai and Chuuya’s trust is literally undying. Stormbringer, the double black chapter and dead apple show us this in the most obvious way possible.

Asagiri himself has quoted that Soukoku knows each others motives, which has also been proven plenty of times when they are working together. 

Dazai himself admited there really was moments where their hearts reached out to one another.

and I think that’s enough to understand, Fyodor is wrong. THEY ARE DOUBLE BLACK FOR A REASON!!!

So far in this chapter, I got various things confirmed. Let’s walk through them together. 

1. Dazai’s nullifcation ability works on vampires, confirmed by Fyodor himself.

So what does this tell us? That Dazai had been planning all along to get in contact with Chuuya. He knew his partner’s abilities will break him out of the water trap, he’s not dumb.

So Dazaj totally meant to get in physical contact with Chuuya in order to nullify his vamparism. And no, it’s not only because Dazai cares for Chuuya (which is a true statement, but not the main reason.) It’s because out of everyone in this room, Chuuya is the only one able to physically overpower Fyodor. 

And even if Chuuya somehow can’t overpower Fyodor, atleast Chuuya can be Dazai’s bodyguard considering well...Dazai’s countless of injuries. Chuuya is Dazai’s ticket to get out of the prision.

Dazai needs Chuuya in his corner. He needs double black in action. He needs Chuuya. 

2. Dazai is genuienly frustrated that his plan to bring back Chuuya didn’t work.

I can’t be the only one who ADORED seeing Dazai panicking. (I sound so masochistic but seriously, it’s rare to see Dazai unmask this way).

Anyways, Dazai’s panic and frustrating during these pannels are unfortunately proof that things did not go at all how he planned.

3. Aya is attempting to take out the sword that stops Bram from having full atonomy on his vampire abilty. 

If by any luck, Aya is able to detach the swoard from Bram, Chuuya and literally every other vamp will return to normal. (which honestly, let’s do hope Aya removes the sword bc this is getting too agonizingly dragged out.)

4. Chuuya and Dazai are destined to....

 kiss?? marry?? make out under the moonlight??

Nono my friends, Chuuya and Dazai are destined to die together.

Chuuya and Dazai dying together has been hinted since Fifthteen, but my theory of these two dying together strenghtened during Stormbringer when Mori teased Dazai about a double suicide with Chuuya.

I’m not saying they will die right now but in order to solidify the need for Shin Soukoku in Yokahama.....

This old married couple gotta go and make room for the highschool sweethearts/hj

5. Dazai took the L

Honestly, I won’t lie to you and say that Dazai’s way out of this situation is going to be hard. But Dazai has attempted to kill himself plenty of times, I wouldn’t be surprised if he has shot a bullet through his head in his early 20s. (Im not joking when I say this i swear).

Anyways, Dazai seems somewhat imune to death and honestly, his character is too important to die, especially in such a meh, anticlimatic way. 

Dazai said it himself best, him and Chuuya are destined to die together.

6. Vampire Chuuya’s expression

I mean,,,, what is the need for the random three little pensive speach bubble ?? we have been proven by Akutagawa that vampires are capable of some sort of sentinence, especially when it’s tied to their deepest desieres/mental strenghts.

I don’t have anywhere grand to go with this but, I just wanted to point it out lol.

ALL IN ALL

I can’t say for sure what is going to happen, but with Aya’s attempts of removing the swoard the possibility for Chuuya to become concious and do something to get out of there and save Dazai still remain pausible in my books.

I am not too confident on where this section of the story will go exactly but I am certain that Soukoku won’t die yet. MARK MY WORDS!!!

[antianakin]

So this post has been floating around my brain for a bit https://www.tumblr.com/coupleofdays/746467882552180736/in-the-republic-commando-books-author-karen?source=share

where op mentions force induced HRT. What are your thoughts on the idea? Do you think the jedi even considered bio sex as important considering their luminous beings who don't really value crude matter as much? Granted, Star Wars doesn't really handle gender issues that well, but the core of jedi beliefs seems to be firmly based on ideas that are very pro-lgbtq and anti-discrimination. Sorry if this is out of your usual area of expertise, but I figured you know a lot more jedi lore to confirm if it's accurate

I wouldn't consider myself a massive expert in Jedi lore or lore about the Force, but Karen Traviss's books are pretty non-canon at this point, so we have to start from there.

Force healing is something of a controversial topic as some people feel like it makes a lot of sense for them to be able to do it given what ELSE they can do and other people feel like it makes the narrative a little nonsensical to introduce the concept of healing with the Force when we never see Jedi in Lucas's canon being able to utilize that skill even when it would be pretty helpful to do so. Obviously the Sequels chose to bring it in, but they were able to sort-of give the caveat that these two people were the ONLY ONES who could do it because they had a dyad which gave them access to additional power for healing or something like that. The Mandalorian then also tossed it in where it was used in a more GENERAL sense, so at this point you can argue that it's canon in Disney's canon, and more specifically it's canon to the Mandoverse canon. But it was not and has never been a part of Lucas's canon.

As for what the Jedi would've actually thought about things like being transgender, I firmly believe the Jedi were very open-minded about all of those kinds of things. The Jedi are the most diverse organization in the entirety of Star Wars, bar none, and like you mentioned, they have a focus on who a person is beyond "that crude matter" of the physical body. Yoda says something similar to the clones in episode 1 of TCW where he tells them your eyes can deceive you and that, regardless of what they look like, they are each different in the Force. We see the Jedi consistently respect the clones as individuals throughout TCW, too, indicating a respect for the clones' personhood that goes beyond just what their body looks like. We also know from TCW that the Jedi encouraged the clones' "independence" and expressing their individuality, which we see includes things like different hair cuts and hair colors, different painted designs on their armor, tattoos, etc. Among their own members, we see plenty of differences in personal expression among the Jedi, too, from hair styles to clothes to tattoos. The Jedi are demonstrated within higher canon to be very accepting of how people choose to identify themselves and don't see the physical body as the primary defining trait for a person's identity.

I also honestly find the concept of transphobia and homophobia in the GFFA a little ridiculous given how normal it is to be interacting with multiple different alien species, some of which aren't even really humanoid at all. So while I imagine the Jedi themselves would be quite open-minded about all of this, I tend to headcanon the GFFA as sort-of free of transphobia and homophobia just in general. There's never any indication that it exists in higher canon, which is primarily due to a lack of any representation in higher canon and straight being the default, but there's no indication that Vel and Cinta are treated differently or have to hide their relationship specifically due to homophobia.

[nightprompts]

&. 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐰𝐨𝐥𝐟 𝐛𝐲 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

(  dialogue  prompts  taken  from  marvel’s  werewolf  by  night,  directed  by  michael giacchino.  feel  free  to  edit  and  change  as  you  seem  fit.  )

❛ the known universe, with its heroes and marvels, but what of the darkness? ❜

❛ fifty seven confirmed kills myself. ❜

❛ i can almost smell the blood on your hands. ❜

❛ i like your whole look here with the makeup. it's a killer trademark. ❜

❛ i understand the importance of anonymity in our line of work, but it gets lonely.❜

❛ so, any of these hacked beasties your handiwork? ❜

❛ give me what's mine, i'll leave now. ❜

❛ so many death dealers in one room. ❜

❛ a monster unlike anything you've faced will be released into these sacred grounds. ❜

❛ good luck. i'll be rotting for you. oh, forgive me. graveyard humor. ❜

❛ those who do not survive will be honored appropriately. ❜

❛ for tonight, it is every hunter for themselves. ❜

❛ we spill all blood for the hunt. ❜

❛ there is no peace without blood, and so it shall be. ❜

❛ i suggest we just pass each other by. ❜

❛ death is coming for you, lassie! ❜

❛ well, of course i was gonna come find you. ❜

❛ you keep saying that you're gonna be careful each time, and here we go again. ❜

❛ you can't keep counting on me to save you. this is the last time. ❜

❛ all you have to do is don’t die. ❜

❛ how’s your night going? ❜

❛ you didn't want to fight before either, did you, running into me? ❜

❛ i'm having a hard time believing you hunted and killed monsters. ❜

❛ well, i'm not that type of hunter. ❜

❛ you know, maybe we can help each other. ❜

❛ ‘cause you're, what, the monster's friend? ❜

❛ all families have something in common. they follow us. for good, for bad. ❜

❛ we could die here. it's an option. it's not my choice, but it's an option.❜

❛ cross me, and i’ll kill you. ❜

❛ you have a lovely name. and your friend is waiting for you. ❜

❛ a monster. masquerading as one of our own. ❜

❛ you freed a monster with a monster? ❜

❛ i can't wait to find out what breed of evil you are. ❜

❛ until you rip my throat out, i suppose i’m fine. ❜

❛ yeah, i know, i'm an idiot. i know. but i'm also a human. ❜

❛ i'm also a human. perhaps not in the category that you would call a human a human. ❜

❛ you see, i've got systems to manage the hurt i could cause... ❜

❛ just stay away from me until you can't. ❜

❛ i would never hurt you or hurt any one of them. ❜

❛ any hunting that i do is done by a part of me that is not me. and that’s not the part you’re with right now. ❜

❛ the next full moon is in five days. we have plenty of time to figure something out. ❜

❛ i shouldn't have asked for your help. ❜

❛ i need you to look at me. okay? do not break eye contact, no matter what.❜

❛ i need to remember you. ❜

❛ just kill me as i am. otherwise there will be no mercy, i promise. ❜

❛ once this is over, you'll notice my hands are clean. his? not so much. ❜

❛ [name], you still in there? ❜

❛ man, i cannot think of food right now. ❜

❛ let’s do sushi. i owe you that. ❜

[sinkingteethinwhitenoise]

Limoncello - Chapter 6

Pairings: Nick Folio x OFC, Bad Omens x OFC

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: Fluff, cursing, one mini flashback, I didn't proof read half of this bc I hate myself, a stupid joke? or exchange??, like it's really fucking dumb i'm warning you.

Series Masterlist

“To get the full value of joy, you must have someone to divide it with.” ~ Mark Twain

Mountains of different shirts, shorts, pants, skirts, and dresses littered the floor in Maeve’s bedroom. She couldn’t even see the floor anymore. When Nick had told her that he found it hard to believe that she owned anything black, she hadn’t expected that the nail polish would actually be the only black thing she owned. She also hadn’t realized that she had this many clothes. She growled in frustration as she grabbed yet another colorful article of clothing. She looked over to her vanity where her phone was propped up against the mirror, her best friend’s bored face covering the screen as she watched Maeve through the ongoing facetime call. 

“Presley,” Maeve whined to her friend, striding towards the phone and picking it up as she anxiously ran her fingers through hair. “What do I do? I have nothing to wear to this gig.” 

Presley sighed and rubbed her eyes. “Your floor looks like the opening scene of Clueless. You have plenty to wear,” she started. “What exactly are you going for?”

“Like…A rockstar girlfriend type of look,” Maeve sounded unsure. “At least something that won’t make me stick out like a sore thumb.” 

Presley visibly held back laughter. “Babe, that’s so not you. You’re not going to find anything that fits the bill in your closet.” 

“Well what do I do? I can’t go buy anything,” Maeve whined. “I have to be ready in an hour.” 

Presley thought for a moment, “Do you still have those dark green corduroy shorts?” 

Maeve nodded and set the phone down to dig through the closet once more. She found them relatively quick and put them on to ensure that they still fit. They did. 

“Great,” Presley approved. “Now just style those how you’d usually style them. You’ll look gorgeous. If that boy likes you for you, he’ll think so too. Plus, it’s a dive bar. Don’t overthink it.”

Maeve felt her face heat up at the mention of Nick possibly liking her. She hoped he did, but she continuously convinced herself that he was just friendly. Presley had been rooting for them the moment Maeve told her about him on the day the band moved in across the street.

“Presley!” Maeve beamed once she answered the facetime call. “I have new neighbors! Across the street!”

“I’m assuming you already went over there?” Presley questioned, knowing her friend’s tendency to be hospitable. 

“I just got back from bringing them cookies,” Maeve confirmed. “It’s four guys. And! They’re a band. From what I can tell, they play pretty heavy stuff. Well, heavy for me at least.” Maeve rambled on with the biggest smile that Presley had seen from her in a long time. Maeve usually was one to get excited about meeting new people. But Presley could tell this was different. 

“How did it go?” Presley asked gently, trying to get more information about these neighbors and why they had her so excited. 

“It went really well! They’re all so kind! They loved the cookies,” Maeve giggled before she continued. “Oh! Their drummer is really cute.” 

Presley watched as Maeve’s face turned bright red. “Tell me more about this drummer.” 

“Well, his name is Nick. He seemed a little bit shy. But when we shook hands, neither of us let go when we definitely should’ve. I feel really stupid for that. It’s probably my fault,” Maeve’s smile faded a bit. “Oh my God, he probably thinks I’m so weird.”

Presley laughed and shook her head, “If he didn’t let go either, it’s probably fine.” Presley didn’t say anything then, but she knew that Maeve had a crush and that Nick probably had one too. 

Maeve dug through the clothes on the floor and in the closet looking for some very specific pieces. She grabbed a fitted, cropped white tank top, a thin brown belt, and some brown boots. After dressing herself completely she threw on a dainty, gold necklace and matching stud earrings. She backed up so she was in frame to show Presley. “This is cute right? I don’t think I’ll stick out like a sore thumb.” 

“Super cute. Super you.” Presley gave her a thumbs up. “I love it.”

“Cool,” Maeve nodded. “One more question. Bubble braids?”

“Oh, absolutely!”

After throwing her hair into bubble braids, doing some light, glowy makeup, and saying goodbye to Presley, Maeve grabbed her purse and made her way across the street. She smiled as she saw the garage door open the second she stepped into their driveway. ‘Perfect timing,’ she thought. 

Nicholas stepped outside first, his hair sitting messily in a bun on top of his head. He offered a tight lipped smile. “Hey Maeve. You’re still riding with us, right?”

“If that’s still okay with you guys, then yes,” she grinned as she approached him. 

“Well, you’ll be riding with Folio in the truck,” he explained. “And trust me, he’s more than okay with it.”

“Oh you guys take separate vehicles?” Maeve tilted her head to the side. 

Nicholas nodded, “Yeah. The drum kit takes up a lot of space, so we have to.”

The door leading into the garage opened and Nick emerged. He seemed to be on autopilot as he went straight over to the drum kit without even glancing in their direction. As he began to prepare it for loading, Nicholas leaned over to Maeve. “Watch this,” he whispered. He cleared his throat. “Hey, Folio.”

Without turning to look, Folio responded with a hum. 

Nicholas tried to hold back a smirk, “Maeve’s here. You’re not gonna say hi?”

Folio froze in his spot for a moment. His eyes widened as he finally turned around. His face had turned beet red in a matter of seconds. 

Maeve tried to hold back a laugh, “Yeah what’s up with that?” She played along. “You invited me and you’re not even gonna say hi?” He looked nervous, embarrassed and clearly didn’t know what to say. Maeve couldn’t hold in her laughter anymore as she walked over to him, “I’m just messing.” She placed her hand on his bicep and gave it a comforting squeeze. 

His face settled into a goofy grin as he looked down at her, “Very funny.” 

“Nicholas started it,” Maeve jutted her thumb to point behind her at Nicholas, who had a hand over his mouth still trying so hard not to burst out laughing. 

Folio rolled his eyes as he turned his focus to Nicholas. “Since this is so funny, why don’t you help me load this up?”

Maeve stepped to the side as Nicholas began to help Folio. Once they were far away enough from Maeve, Nicholas decided to tease him a little more. “You are so fucking down bad,” he mumbled to him with a shit eating grin on his face. 

“Shut the fuck up.”

With all the instruments and equipment loaded up, they all left for the bar. Maeve sat in the passenger’s seat of Nick’s old truck and tried not to stare too hard at his profile while he drove. Nick was trying to keep his eyes on the road. It was proving difficult with how pretty she looked and how nice she smelled, so he kept stealing little glances. 

He then realized how quiet it was. Even with the music playing from the radio, he still felt like there was an intense, awkward silence. He needed to say something. He didn’t want it to seem like he didn’t want her there. So, he began to talk about the first thing that came to mind. It just so happened to be a shower thought that he’d had earlier. “You know dog whistles?” he asked her.

Maeve furrowed her eyebrows as she looked at him. “Yeah…” she trailed off, confused. “What about them?”

“So, only dogs hear them, right?”

“I guess…yeah.” She had no idea where he was going with this, but she was curious enough to play into it. 

“Alright. Have you ever heard of a death whistle?” he questioned, seemingly changing the subject. 

“Like the Aztec ones?” Maeve asked. A smile began to form on her face at the strangeness of this conversation. 

“Exactly,” said Nick. “Do you think it’s the same? Like only dogs can hear dog whistles. Can only dead people hear death whistles?”

She bursted into a fit of laughter. “Definitely not,” she responded. “How would that even work? How do they hear it if they're dead?” 

Nick started to laugh along with her, “I don’t know! Maybe their souls have ears or something.” 

“That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard,” Maeve laughed, clearly amused. She lifted her hand to cover her mouth as she continued to laugh harder and harder the more she thought about the absurdity of the question. 

Nick looked over at her fully as he laughed at his own stupid question and her reaction to it. Then he noticed her nails. “Hey, did you paint your nails? They’re black.”

Through heaving breaths in an attempt to control her laughter, Maeve nodded. “Yeah, I painted them last night. Thought it could be fun for us to match.” 

Nick swore he felt his heart swell at the admission and he was rendered speechless for a moment. “Yeah,” he said softly, his own laughter long faded but a fond smile still present. “That’s sick.” 

[autisticlancemcclain]

The third time Allura clears her throat, Shiro nudges her with his elbow and raises an eyebrow.

“You good?”

Sighing, Allura shakes her head. The thing is that she is parched. All she can think about is a nice, cool water pouch. She hasn’t read a page in her book in who knows how long. She wants a drink.

But she is also comfortable. So, so comfortable. Shiro makes a very good pillow, and he has been very tolerant of her sprawling all over him and leeching his warmth. No part of her wants to move.

“I’m a little thirsty, is all.”

Shiro hums. “Honestly, I could go for a water pouch myself.”

Noooooooo.

Her warmth slab!

“Actually, on second thought, I’m fine —”

“Hey, hey, hold on,” Shiro says, chuckling. He shoots her a sly smile. “I don’t really want to get up, either.”

“Oh, thank goodness.” She settles back under Shiro’s arm, pulling the sleeves of her hoodie over her hands. She’s thirsty, yeah, but is it really worth waking down the cold metal hallways?

No.

Well, at least not yet. She’s well on the road to dying of thirst, but maybe curled up and comfy isn’t the worst way to go. She’ll see how she feels.

“Hey, hold on,” Shiro says. His smile only turns into more of a smirk. “I didn’t say I was giving up on the water quest. I could go for a snack, as well.”

Allura squints at him. “Are humans capable of telekinesis, or…?”

“Just play along.” He clears his throat quietly, then speaks just a little bit louder than he was before. “No, humans can’t do telekinesis. There’s not much we can do, really.”

There’s a brief pause — how is Allura meant to play along? What game is Shiro playing? — and then, every so slowly, she sees Pidge and Lance set down their controllers, and their video game pauses.

All of a sudden, it dawns on her.

“Oh, is that so?” she says, barely holding back her laughter. “I would think your species would at least have some skill, to have survived at all in your death planet. Have you not even strength to protect yourself? Hunk seems to fare well.”

Shiro’s shoulders shake ever so slightly, even though his expression remains impassive. “Hunk is an exception to the rule. The kid’s jacked. But even still, he can’t really hold a candle to you.”

Allura inclines her head. “That’s true.”

Pidge and Lance are no longer making any effort to hide their eavesdropping. It takes every ounce of Allura’s strength to keep her face as innocently inquisitive as she can make it.

“What skills do humans have, then, other than stubborn resilience?”

That is very true of humans, she’s noticed. If nothing else, they are more persistent and hopeful than any other being she has known. Even Keith, who is teased for being ‘emo and pessimistic’ (guess by whom) will easily get up and continue on after enough failures that any other species would cut their losses.

“We have a lot of that,” Shiro agrees, laughing softly. “That’s pretty much it, though.” Imperceptibly, almost faster than she can track, he glances at Lance and Pidge before looking back at her. The tiniest of smirks returns to his lips. “A few humans are decently fast — there’s one woman on Earth I’m thinking of specifically who could probably sprint to the kitchens and grab us a water pouch and be back in twenty ticks — but no one here is nearly that quick.”

“Hey!”

It’s Lance who finally cracks first, indignant hands on his hips, but he and Pidge both look at them crossly. Allura and Shiro both pretend to startle. “I’m plenty fast! I could do that, easy!”

“I didn’t mean to offend you,” Shiro says gently. “I’m sure you are, kiddo. But it’s just not possible.”

Allura is impressed. He’s managed to blend his tone into what must be the perfect mix of care and condensation — she can only imagine he’s done this dozens of times.

She quickly covers a laugh with a cough, not wanting to spoil their game.

Oh, poor Keith.

“It is so,” Pidge insists. She turns to Lance for confirmation. “We can get to the kitchen and back in twenty ticks, easy.”

Lance nods frantically. “Yeah!”

“I don’t know,” Allura says, forcing herself to frown. “I wouldn’t want for the two of you to over-exert yourselves on something so strenuous.”

Both Pidge and Lance look comically offended at the mere implication that a quick sprint to the kitchen would over-exert them.

Shiro is a genius. Truly.

“I could sprint to the kitchen and get you water and a snack in less than twenty ticks,” Lance boasts.

Shiro raises an eyebrow. “Are you sure?”

“I can, too!” Pidge says.

Allura and Shiro exchange a look. His black eyes look just as mischievous as hers — it’s a wonder Lance and Pidge haven’t noticed.

“Well, I guess it can’t hurt to try,” Shiro says hesitantly. Allura nods.

Lance and Pidge both cheer, throwing down their controllers and scrambling to get in position by the common room door; crouched low with one leg extended and hands braced on the floor.

“Time us!” Pidge demands.

“Okay,” Shiro calls. “Three, two, one…go!”

Pidge and Lance shoot off immediately, rocketing down the hall at top speeds. As soon as they’ve turned the corner, Allura and Shiro look at each other and burst out laughing.

“That worked perfectly!” Shiro crows. “It never fails!”

Allura clutches her stomach, aching from her giggles. “They were so eager!”

Soon, though, they hear panting and pounding footsteps, and quickly try to rearrange themselves into some semblance of casualty. Allura has to wipe tears from her eyes and pray that her face is not as laughter-red as it feels.

“Ha!” Lance yells, then second he crosses the threshold. “How many ticks was that?”

Shiro pretends to check his watch, mouth dropping in a mask of shock as he does. “19 ticks! Wow!”

Pidge and Lance both cheer, tossing them their drinks and snacks and settling back down in front of their game.

“Told you,” Pidge says smugly.

“Mhm,” Shiro says, taking a massive bite of one of Hunk’s tarts. “You sure did.”

He winks at Allura. She winks right back.

Oh, how she loves having younger siblings.

[inchidentally]

I'm sorry to bombard you like this, but you're like a therapist. So I want this winter break to end as soon as possible. Because seeing how many fans of different drivers enjoy fresh content, Oscar fans suffer a little. I mean, I should be used to it because I've been a Sebastian fan for the last 16 years and it's not news to me that someone disappears during the winter break. But it's different with Oscar and I feel a little sad about it. Well. I'm almost 27 years old and I miss a guy who doesn't know me. Can you write me something comforting? Thank you in advance! <3

don't apologize anon!! but let me just say I'm not remotely qualified as a therapist and could probably do with a second one for myself but I will absolutely try to offer comfort <3<3

ohhhh dude as someone who is only just now learning abt Seb in a fandom way I know you've already had it tough bc not only is that man charismatic and hilarious and beautiful he's also SO private. Oscar at least is so lowkey even in media engagement that it's not a huge surprise when he doesn't show up otherwise. but there's a reason I tag Seb "sun king". dude shines brighter than the screens behind a podium when he shows up. I don't know if I believe the rumors of him returning to F1 at all but I do think he's going to get back into a more public facing position at some point (and likely get back into racing in some capacity).

I think w Oscar what's been getting me is how excavation is the best way to get to know him and acquire content rather than relying on regular updates. I wish we had those too or at least the content from fans recognizing him - and maybe that will happen more w time. but I'm much more a feelings person than a fan person and Oscar's just really worked his pale little hands into my heart ??

I always felt like the intensity in his eyes when he looks at certain friends just had to have something behind it than that being his resting face. bc his resting face is basically 'please let me sleep sitting up' asgfaslglfsa. but the way he looks at Logan and Lando is so similar and the more I learn about loscar lore the more I realize I'm not just seeing things with him and Lando. it's not at all the same relationship but it's coming from the same place for Oscar in terms of his qualities as a person.

bc pre-F1 Oscar was wayyyy more open and expressive about his competitiveness and his celebrations etc - just overall way more open in general. so the amount that he kept checking in on Logan and making sure he was included over all the years they've been boys and young men from karting to F1… idk man that's extremely special and unusual coming from a privileged kid in a male dominated environment where the one goal is for the individual to win. sure, plenty of guys form strong friendships in those years and a lot of them had to leave home young to pursue racing beyond the karting level.

but for Oscar to not only have lived alone in the UK from age 14 and be in that environment and to be as motivated and hungry as he was it just says so much that he's still close with all the guys from his boarding school (where he had an attendance of under 40% !!) and that he's kept Logan close this whole time. esp after reading the Player's Tribune article about him we know that Logan's got a soft heart and that he's a "worrier" and just how hard it hit when his own family left him to return to the US. he often felt like an outsider and like, Oscar being the same age and being even further from his own family but some part of him still said to latch onto this American kid in particular. they were literally directly competing but Logan's even confirmed how it never affected their friendship. including Oscar interrupting a major victory for himself bc it was marked by Logan crashing out early and rushing to console Logan in person !! that's so unbelievably tender ?? winning these series' is the one thing in the world these boys want when they compete - but Oscar's thinking about his friend right when he wins ;__; kinda makes you think about how Oscar didn't spend one second celebrating as much as he rightly could have over that sprint win and consciously avoided bringing it up so often that Lando does it for him ;__;

and when the rest of the F1 grid is name dropping the right guys for fans to go crazy when it comes to quiz questions etc, Oscar goes right to Logan and Zhou bc he's actually known them the longest. and whenever there's the drivers parade or anything that brings the teams together, he's seeking those two out. when you consider the huge divide that formed when Oscar got the McLaren updates and especially after the sprint win he technically was in the company of all those guys at the front of the grid socially. he started getting those coveted fist bumps! but if he could spot Logan or Zhou he'd move or change his seat just to be with them.

and lol we know now that Oscar's been a major Lando fanboy since he moved to the UK so he'll also have seen how small and young Lando was for what he was achieving. he'll also have seen when Lando started opening up about his mental health struggles. and considering how much we've seen that Oscar leans liberal and socially sympathetic is in his likes and reposted content etc (esp him showing such a major social conscience during covid about people needing to protect the vulnerable) we know it isn't a leap to assume he understands/appreciates Lando standing for social progress within F1.

add to that Oscar having liked content that was to do with team atmospheres and cultures and Oscar himself being approached by McLaren when Lando started running circles around Daniel and all that drama was going on, of which Oscar was made painfully aware. oh and add that Oscar also liked carlando stuff back when Carlos was with McLaren… Oscar had so much knowledge about what to expect as Lando's teammate… and yet!

Oscar very specifically has never tried to create a 'bromance' with Lando when it would've been so easy! the Lando effect was right there! and we know from the Prema content that Oscar could've been how he was with Robert and Arthur and a landoscar bromance at least close to carlando and dando could've been born! it would've made Oscar's life so much easier in terms of being accepted by McLaren fans to yuk it up and be the cheesy jokes/exasperated guy from twitter (that everyone already knew him to be) to Lando's well-known hyperactive youtuber personality!

and we know he wasn't suddenly quiet and reserved out of nerves because Prema's social media popularity had fully prepared him for going viral and he'd done a ton of F1 track media stuff during his reserve driver year!

and the staring at Lando thing officially stopped being a fluke or something he did out of nerves as well because welp, it just get happening! Oscar shadows Lando and Oscar stands back slightly to let Lando have more of the spotlight and Oscar has endless patience with Lando and says "no I'll keep you happy!" when Lando tells him what to do!

Oscar is smart! Oscar is very aware of what the people he cares about are feeling! Oscar takes note of their personalities and accepts them for who they are! Oscar pays attention to what is going on around him in an intelligent and sympathetic way! Oscar doesn't default to posting the people he's closest to! Oscar views certain things as - if not 'sacred' - at least deeply important and not something to joke or be flippant about! his friendships supercede even his passion for winning!

Logan feels deeply and doesn't mind people knowing it! Lando feels deeply and doesn't mind people knowing it!

Oscar watches Logan and Lando closely with those focused brown eyes and Oscar is drawn to the people in his life who feel most vulnerable and Oscar interrupts his own victories to consider Logan and Lando !!!!!!!!

anon I assumed you wouldn't mind but all of this is to say that while we may never get Oscar appearing as frequently on social media as the other drivers - especially in winter - Oscar is someone we should use our down time looking more deeply into as a person because still waters running deep etc. what content we do have about him is so worth savoring I think.

because I for one definitely have taken too much about him for granted thinking he was Just a Guy and I was very very wrong about that.

I hope that helped a little??

[multiplicity-positivity]

Hi! I was looking for advice and you seem pretty knowledgeable about plurality so I’d thought I’d ask you.

I’ve started to wonder if maybe I’m plural, but don’t know if my experiences are similar to something someone is neurotypical might experience. I think of myself as only having one headmate, but when it comes to interacting with people I express one of two manifestations of said headmate.

I figure it’s relatively common in people who aren’t plural to show different parts of themselves to differently people, but these two manifestations are so dramatically different to the point of being polar opposites that I’ve started to wonder.

(Some clarifying notes: While I don’t have names for these separate manifestations as they are both parts of the same individual in my head, I will refer to them as 🌟 and 🪐 respectively. I will refer to me presenting either 🌟 or 🪐 as fronting, and the version that exists in my head as the headspace version. I’m using this language just to be clear with what I mean, not to appropriate language used by systems/say I am one)

It hasn’t always been like this. When I was little, I was just 🌟. I was extremely extroverted, energetic, argumentative, and struggled with emotional regulation. I display these traits whenever I am fronting 🌟. 🪐 has always been around in my headspace as well, and sometimes 🪐 would front, but this didn’t happen in any meaningful capacity until I was around 9. My behavior shifted drastically, because 🪐 is very quiet, observant, and logical. My mother has told me multiple times that she felt like I got jaded in the 4th grade. Now, unless I’ve gotten to know someone well or am incredibly comfortable in the environment I’m in, I front 🪐. Around my very close friends 🌟 will front, and 🌟 will also front when I get very giddy or excited. Sometimes when 🌟 fronts I catch myself regretting it, scared I annoyed people or if people hate me, because I can’t control which manifestation of myself people talk to.

But the thing is, I don’t have any trauma that I know of, and they exist together as one identity in my headspace. My worldview, beliefs, and memories remain the same across the board. I think of myself as one person, even if someone’s experiences with me can vary drastically (this ask would be very different if you were talking to 🌟)

I figured since you interact with a fair amount of systems and are one yourself, you could maybe point me in the right direction.

Thanks for your time!

Hi! We won’t be able to confirm or deny whether or not you’re plural, sorry about that! It’s true that even singlets are multifaceted, with different sides of themselves that they show to different people at different times. And many singlets may find that they feel more extroverted and bubbly with people they’re comfortable with, and more introverted and reserved with people they don’t know that well. To us, this is pretty normal, and even some of our parts experience socialization in this way!

What we truly believe, is that if the plural framework is beneficial for you, if you are helped or comforted by the idea of being a system, then you are more than welcome to identify as such! Not all systems form from trauma - while trauma is necessary in order for someone to develop a dissociative disorder like DID, there are plenty of other ways to exist as multiple or more than one!

We have a post we wrote in the past with a ton of resources for questioning systems. We’d like to share it with you in case one of the resources there could be useful!

For anyone questioning whether or not they’re plural, the process can be difficult, confusing, and may take a long time (we know it certainly did for us!). It’s okay to go slowly and not rush to any conclusions about yourself! That being said, it’s definitely okay to try out some labels while you’re questioning to see if anything feels right or sticks out to you. There’s no harm in trying out plural labels while you’re questioning - you’re not invading any spaces or appropriating plural language by experimenting with the terms you use to describe yourself!

Finally, we’d like to recommend learning more about median systems specifically. Plurality is a spectrum, and not every system will have fully developed, unique, and separate individual headmates! We understand median systems as those who exist in between a singlet and fully separated multiple on the plural spectrum. It may be worth learning more about if you’re wondering whether or not you’re “plural enough” to call yourself a system! (Note that we’re not saying for sure that you are a median system! Rather, we’re just suggesting it as a potential research option or direction for you.)

We hope this helps! Good luck to you with navigating the waters of questioning plurality. And feel free to reach out if you have any further questions on your journey! Know that even if it turns out that you’re not plural after all, that’s okay! Hopefully the questioning process will still be insightful for you. And plural or not, you’ll always be welcome here on this blog!

[frangipanilove]

Carol’s Blue Ford Mustang (or "Consumed Part 2")

TWDDD 1x6 Coming Home ended with a scene of Carol searching for Daryl. Personally I’m thrilled to see Carol again, partly because I love her (I know, controversial...) but also because she's tied up in so much of the symbolism we see around Beth. In this case, it's the hints of a "Consumed Part 2" that particularly thrills me.

I had already seen a spoiler pic of Carol’s stunt woman in a Blue Ford Mustang, so I knew going into the episode that there was a chance we'd see Consumed-related symbolism. And holy moly I was not disappointed!

I’ll do a post on license plates eventually, because that’s a rabbit hole in its own right. But for now, let’s appreciate that the license plate on Carol’s blue Ford Mustang, 502AV2A, points directly towards TWD 5x2, which is the episode when Carol and Daryl left searching for Beth. And when they did, it was in a car with this license plate: LC6M187. Keep this in mind, I’ll get back to it.

I’ve touched on the significance of the cars in TWDU in posts before (here and here), and the news of a blue Ford Mustang made me super happy. We’ve only seen it in a short scene, so I won’t expand on it too much, but I do want to say a couple of words about why it thrills me so intensly.

First of all, there's the role it plays in the scene. With Carol behind the wheel, it comes up behind Daryl’s bike, it’s one eyed (tape over the right headlight = Sirius symbolism), and it took a bullet. So plenty of interesting stuff already, parallels and retellings of what happened in 5x6 Consumed and 5x8 Coda. Then we see Carol knock out the guy driving Daryl’s motorcycle, and we see him wake up. He wakes up in the trunk of the car.

And if that's not enough, he's left in there for an unknown length of time. Time will tell if Carol returns to let him out. I think she will, but it doesn't really matter.

All of these things are variations of a sequence of events myself and many other TD’ers theorize possibly happened to Beth after Coda.

So, why is the blue Ford Mustang important?

First of all, it’s blue (here).

Second, it’s a Mustang.

I talked about Mustangs and horse symbolism in Trunk Resurrection 2.

We saw a yellow Ford Mustang in TWD 2x1 What Lies Ahead, when the group got stuck in a traffic jam on the highway. This was around the time when Sophia ran off. They left supplies for her on the Mustang, along with a note about how they’ll come by every day. We later learned that Sophia likely died soon after running off, but had she been alive long enough to get back to the car, the supplies would have saved her, and TF would have come by eventually. The Mustang represents a hope and an opportunity to survive even when the odds are against you.

Take a look at the license plate of the yellow Ford Mustang from 2x1:

Yup, it’s the same as on the car that Carol and Daryl used to search for Beth. LC6M187.

A Mustang is a horse, which means it tied to the Buttons symbolism.

It is also tied to the scene from 5x11 Them, when Maggie found a car with a trapped walker in the trunk. We saw a sea horse key ring attached to the car keys Maggie used to open the trunk, and we know that walker was supposed to remind her of Beth, because it was confirmed on The Talking Dead.

We also knew it was a callback to Beth because of this scene from 4x11 Still:

And finally, there's this guy. Daryl's brother Merle. Disappeared in season one, presumed dead, only to return in season 3.

Here seen enjoying a drink before making his final sacrifice, drawing walkers in to ambush the Governor rather than handing Michonne over, as was the original plan. There are many paralells between Beth and Merle, and interestingly, the license plate of the car he drove when leading the walkers to ambush the governor looks familiar:

It's LC6M187 again. Same as on the yellow Ford Mustang where TF left supplies for Sophia. Same as on the car Daryl and Carol drove when following the Grady car with the white cross. Merle sacrificed himself to save Michonne and TF.

Carol's blue Ford Mustang from TWDDD 1x6 has a licence plate that directly points back to 5x2 Strangers, when they left to search for (and eventually found) Beth. The license plate points us to 5x2 for a reason.

We're about to see “Consumed Part 2”, and again, they will find Beth.

[gayemeralds]

what are the things you hate most about shadow? i think i was mostly neutral-negative towards him but fandom blorbofication made me so instinctually averse to anything about him i cant really pinpot the ones that annoy me the most

i'll admit at first it was mostly because i was annoyed by the fandom's approach to him but i try my best not to get swayed by other peoples perception of sonic and i went back to look at the source material so i can bitch and back myself up. lmao.

i think i just really hate the direction of his character post sa2. i think there's plenty of story to be wrought from shadow- i say i wish he stayed dead after sa2 but thats not 100% true. i think the amnesia arc they went with post sa2 was the dumbest fucking thing they could do with a character who we spent an entire game (sa2) figuring out his past in. like sa2 is so lore heavy that having the core character of the game become amnesiac was stupid i fucking hate it. and it doesnt even get resolved in sonic heroes we have to get shadow the hedgehog 2005 to get a better answer and if im honest even then its still immensely confusing on what, exactly, they're trying to do with shadow.

like imagine if they didnt go the route of amnesia. a shadow that has to fully reckon with the fact that he nearly ended the world. a shadow that has to immediately acknowledge the events of sa2, his grief, geralds actions, and where this leaves him. amnesia shadow jsut doesnt do shadow figuring out where he stands in regard to his past enough justice. idk i just with the amnesia thing literally never happened it was so stupid and i think it fucked up his character post sa2.

but other than that, i really do hate how he keeps getting pushed into things that he really shouldnt be pushed in. i think the sonic movies and sonic prime are the most egregorious examples. i really dont understand why sonic prime, who's purpose was to explore alternative dimensions, didn't focus on sonic and blaze. why was shadow a core part of this show. and the sonic movies skipping sa1 just to get to sa2 to have shadow in the universe to milk as much money as they can frustrates me so fucking much. why is shadow confirmed before amy. also shadow in the twitter take overs when hes not even in the fucking games??? like sonic frontiers and sonic colors... i'll admit i hate sega using him as a marketing ploy. shadow to me is a character that should be placed in the reserves- he's really only useful for big, world ending events. otherwise whats the point of having him around, especially since they don't want to be consistent in his characterization.

speaking of charaterization... im not sure how to phrase this but i think a lot of modern presentations of shadow, in fandom and through sega, really forget how sa2 presented shadow, and his relationship to sonic. i hate how shadow keeps getting casted as sonic's edgy doppleganger whos just picking fights for the sake of a fight. like if you want that metal sonic is right fucking there and always has a good reason to pick a fight with sonic. and i really hate how sonic & shadow are not always casted as equals. theres an underlying respect to their relationship that i think gets forgotten. shadow does respect sonic- he calls him the ultimate lifeform during the finalhazard battle- he acknowledges and respects sonics ability, tenacity, and simplicity. he respects sonic! and the two are equals! they're supposed to be foils of each other- of what letting your losses define you as. they're equals! they're two sides of the same coin! i don't know how to phrase this without going on an insane tangent i just feel like people don't entirely encompass what them being foils means.

anyway. idk. i don't like shadow post sa2 is the simplest answer to this lol.

[safetycar-restart]

I imagine that Max cg/dom would just start giving him dume/Illogical punishments. When he Insist he get a one like.

Dom: fine if you insist on a punishment i'll give you one uh...you cant have.. uh raisinss of a week mister

Max: but Mommy i don't like raisinss. I don't think we have any in the house.

Dom: Well I guess it doesn't matter you cant have any.

And other stuff he do mot like in sub/litte space and more random stuff like no watergun fights in the dead of winter or no horre movies of a month

Or mabye making him write. I am a good boy and don't need to be punisht or I will not blame myself for somting I have no control over. On paper by hand like 20 times so that he dose not forget

Sorry for my bad english/gammer mistakes. English is not my first language and I'm very dyslexi.

Sony worry about your English anon!!! I can understand what you meant by this ask and that’s all that counts. And I absolutely love this idea. I'm gonna make this in the d/s au because of max's history of his bad past dom in that au, cause I think that makes the most sense here.

Firstly, the ridiculous punishments start when max requests a punishment for something that he absolutely doesn't deserve a punishment for. Maybe he made a mistake in quali? He still got on the front row, and as far as you're concerned he did amazing, but he missed pole position because he had to abandon his last flying lap from running wide and he thinks he needs to be punished.

His old dom would have punished for him that, and his dad would have called his old dom to confirm that he received a good enough punishment.

But it's completely different with you.

With you, rather than berate him when he got out the car, you immediately hugged him close and asked if he was okay, praising him for trying his best and making sure he isnt beating himself up too hard for his mistake.

It's such a sharp contrast to what he's used to and he has no idea what to do about it.

He doesn't get much time with you until after media, and even then he doesn't know what to do. He should be being punished right now, but instead you're trying your best to comfort him and he doesn't know what to do because he doesn't think he deserves this.

So he panics and called the safeword even though you aren't scening. You step back of course, asking him what's wrong and that's when he just babbles about how he needs to be punished.

You tell him that for the next week, he's not allowed to drink any almond milk. Max HATES almond milk.

He looks at you in confusion, reminding you that he hates that and you just smile and nod, telling him that it doesn't matter. That's his punishment.

You explain to him that he is getting the punishment he deserves, because he doesn't deserve an actual punishment for making a genuine mistake on track.

It takes a long time for that message to really hit home, but you stick with the ridiculous punishments the entire time.

I also think that making him write lines like that is the perfect punishment for when he really does need to be punished, like when he talks bad about himself or breaks one of the self care rules.

Often he'll end up crying as he writes, because you always make sure that what he has to write is something that he really needs to hear and it's always so difficult for him.

You always sit with him while he writes, letting him take breaks whenever he needs to and offering him plenty of cuddles and kisses, praising him for doing so well and promising him that he'll be forgiven once he finishes his lines.

[cousticks]

ummmmmm

okay okay uhhhh

I'm going to guess based of off this blog TT

but..maybe Chuuya? (my mind is so simple help. that came to my mind because of ur pfp) but like TT

I'm guessing your the type to

listen to rock music

have fun with your friends

you're also very chill i think and you have your own references in your tags <33 (which is kind of a kunikida thing to do hehe but you dont strike me as overly responsible)

but also maybe a bit of verlaine (idk just a guess)

you have a lot of thoughts on things and enjoy answering (even encouraging) people to ask you things 🤭<33

(hmmm which character does that trait fall under? idk TT TT uhh maybe kinda like poe/ranpo in the sense that you get excited about things and write a lot)

'aesthetic/persona-speaking' -- i imagine you (based on your personality) as something like maybe Q or yosano or chuuya TT --- whatever. basically anyone who gives off cool-chill-baddie vibes.

like someone in a band, maybe. (the fact that you prob play guitar [i think] is not helping lol 🤭😅)

im so sorry for this. my thoughts are kinda a mess rn TT im being rushed to go down sshhs

uhh short one answer if ur looking for one TT uhhhh

1, 2, 3

Chuuya

(im risking it) TT

Hello Wakanai!! This analysis of my personality is so delightful.

I sure do listen to rock music and have fun with friends! I have plenty of stories of stupid things I've done with friends, and hope to add more as time goes on, ranging from impulse trips to other states to skateboarding on chairs in basements.

I'm glad you think I'm chill, I certainly try.

I do play guitar! Its my favorite instruments I play, and I am actually in a band with my cool boyfriend @pmreaper, though we haven't really released anything yet, eheh. (I play like three instruments respectably well, but if we count all the ones I'm teaching myself when I have time, I can kind-of play, or used to play ~10!)

Your vibe reading on me is exactly the kind of person a 13 year old me wanted to be, which is pretty cool.

To summarize all your guesses, we have:

Chuuya Kunikida (Sort Of) Verlaine Poe Ranpo Q Yosano Chuuya Again

With Chuuya being your main/final guess.

I will say one of these is correct! I kinda want to see if anyone else takes a swing before I confirm or deny anything. Thank you for your guesses & reasoning, this ask made my day!

[justjensenanddean]

Big Sky: Season 3: Cast, Premiere Date, Trailer, and Everything Else to Know

We're one week away from the premiere of Big Sky Season 3, and there's plenty to look forward to. The crime drama has a new name — it's now dubbed with the byline "Deadly Trails," likely a hint to what Katheryn Winnick's Jenny Hoyt and Kylie Bunbury's Cassie Dewell will follow in this season — and two new series regulars.

Country legend Reba McEntire joins as Sunny Brick, "the mercurial matriarch of the Brick Family" and a "successful backcountry outfitter with a secret history of missing customers," which sounds suspicious AF. Season 3 will take us on one of Sunny's hiking expeditions that goes awry and proves to be Jenny and Cassie's most formidable mystery yet.

There is of course also Jensen Ackles' Beau Arlen, who we met in the Season 2 finale. The Supernatural and The Boys actor is confirmed as a series regular in Season 3, and Ackles will continue as the newly appointed sheriff who is Jenny's boss.

At ABC's Television Critics Association summer press tour panel on Sept. 14., McEntire and Ackles talked about what drew them to Big Sky. "We couldn't refuse," McEntire said. "To get to come on the show with such wonderful characters already established, and then with great storylines and things that I am looking forward to every time I get a script to see what happened — that's when I know the audience is going to be entertained."

"When my initial conversation with Elwood [Reid] took place, he mentioned shaking some stuff up for Season 3 and I thought, well I can shake," Ackles said. He also joked: "I feel like I'm getting a little typecasted just being a guy from Texas who wears boots, because I'm literally wearing boots right now and I'm from Texas."

Ackles was also asked about previous roles he has played, including Soldier Boy in The Boys, and whether he's particularly drawn to characters who enforce their versions of justice. "I think there's a certain aspect of these characters that I feel like I would probably watch and find entertaining myself," Ackles said. "Which I think then, by default, makes me enjoy playing them and succeed in doing so."

Here's everything we know about Big Sky Season 3.

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