#can you tell I’ve been rewatching the series

[lnsania]

I’m curious… is there even any interest lingering around if I were to write derek hale from teen wolf?

[whamgram]

Some more Ahsoka doodles! Dave Filoni, I am no longer in your walls. I have permeated into your house’s foundation and will make it collapse in on itself Poltergeist style.

[columbos-dog]

GG Season 3 writers after throwing their brains in a blender: So Blair forcing herself to have sex with a man twice her age who has full control of the only thing her boyfriend still has left (and the prospect of losing has caused him to lash out at her and become deeply bitter and miserable about) is TOTALLY as bad as Chuck intentionally putting her in that position without her permission in the first place!! Blair is a terrible person for considering it and she deserves to be with Chuck because they’re as bad as each other and therefore the perfect couple!! How dare she want better for herself instead of instantly forgiving Chuck, now he has to go have sex with a bunch of random women (including on the literal same day they broke up) because she’s so mean :(

[thefanciestborrower]

Lmao look at him. He’s just. Squished in there. Rip.

[greatestwizardofthisage]

if i had any editing skills i would edit Dalian the alien from dan and phil’s sims 4 play through to chappell roans pink pony club

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

EVEN MORE SPOILERS FOR SEASON 6

I figured since I already read it, I'd give my thoughts on the recent interview Astruc and Thibaudeau took part in.

Due to incompatibility with the new animation engine, SAMG will not be working on the next seasons of ‘Miraculous’. The series is now being developed entirely in France, with the integration of Dwarf Animation.

Okay, props for no more outsourcing, even if I'm not sure what this means for the other ZAG shows.

Season 6 is considered to be “a new beginning”, aside from being a new story arc. It is sometimes referred to by the writers as Season 1.

I'm sure that isn't confusing to the executives at all. Also, maybe don't imply you're starting from scratch when you're already reusing the plot of the main villain using the Butterfly Miraculous.

The writing team already has concrete ideas for how Seasons 7, 8 and 9 will begin and end. They also have ambitions to make it to a Season 12, only if the support of viewers and executives allows them to do so. With this, they emphasize the fact that they would not continue with the show if it were no longer needed or interesting.

So basically, they're planning to keep this up for as long as they can until someone pulls the plug.

The opening of the sixth season is still undecided. They are still discussing whether they will change the musical arrangement or not. Thomas also considers the possibility of making a brand-new theme song. A song has been confirmed for S6. They have the music, the arrangement and a female singer. The character remains unknown.

Imagine how funny it would be if they brought back the woman who sang for Marinette in the movie instead of having Cristina Vee sing again.

Despite leaving Paris at the end of ‘Revolution’ (5x23), Chloé Bourgeois will return in Season 6.

Putting aside all the things I've said about her "damnation arc", what is even the point of bringing her back at this point? She has no powers, no influence, no allies, and isn't a threat of any kind. This makes her not being the next Hawkmoth make even less sense, becuse she has more of a reason to hate Ladybug than Lila does.

Also, with the news that Chloe is coming back, this means that she essentially escaped punishment or at least found a way to rebound like Lila did. So that's a grand total of ZERO villains who actually got punished for their actions after five seasons. I'm starting to think Ladybug and Cat Noir really suck at their jobs.

Sebastien Thibadeau: “[Cerise] (IOTA: I'm still calling her Lila for simplicity's sake) is a villain without costume. She is a villain all the time. There is a reason why, but this reason, neither I nor Astruc will reveal to you yet.” Interviewer: “You mean you already intend to tell it?” Thomas Astruc: “Yes. And you know what, we have already told it, but you haven’t noticed.”

Translation: Ladies and gentlemen, LET'S GET READY FOR RETCOOOOOONNNNS!

Seriously, we are approaching the sixth season of this show. It has been eight years since Lila first appeared all the way back in "Volpina", and we still know nothing about her other than the fact that she has some three moms for some reason. You can't pull the whole "This is something you need to rewatch to understand!" excuse because the last two seasons hinged on breaking the rules about Sentimonsters.

Speaking of, I love how this comment about Lila accidentally implies that Gabriel never did anything evil when he wasn't Hawkmoth/Shadowmoth/Monarch. All that emotional abuse and isolation Adrien suffered was all out of love!

Thomas Astruc on Chloe redemption arc: “We put the characters in situations, and then we say to ourselves: “what would be the logic?” How would the character logically react in “such and such” a situation? And we tried, we tried everything. But every time, we say to ourselves: “if we write this, it’ll be wrong”. There’ll be no reason, it’ll come out of nowhere, the fact that she’ll face something nice and say: “Oh, I’ve been horrible, Marinette what have I done! From now on, I’ll be...” No, nonsense. I understand people’s desire for Chloe to be nice. I’d like that too. But I’d like it if in real life, people with a lot of power suddenly started doing nice things. But Chloé has no interest in changing. She has no reason to change, unfortunately.”

Ah, yes because Gabriel (Global terrorist and abusive parent), Felix (Betrayed Ladybug and temporarily wiped out all of humanity on a whim), Nathalie (Willing accomplice to Gabriel) Andre (corrupt politician and Chloe's primary enabler), Sabrina (Willing accomplice to Chloe) all had compelling reasons to change their ways.

Also, "I've been horrible, what have I done?"

MY BROTHER IN CHRIST, THAT'S HOW VIRTUALLY EVERY REDEMPTION ON THIS SHOW IS EXECUTED.

The fact that he's seriously acting like he actually wanted to write a redemption arc is insulting. Not only does it ignore all the things he's said to fans who were upset at the turn of events, but it makes no sense for him to take this stance because he's a writer. If Chloe turning a new leaf is too strange of an idea, then write an actual character arc allowing her to progress to a state where she recognizes what she's done is wrong. You control the character for God's sake! It's not like you're training a dog to stop humping the couch. You can change things to make a redemption arc possible.

In other words, Astruc is either lying to save his ass, or THIS IS WHAT THOMAS ASTRUC ACTUALLY BELIEVES about writing characters.

Sebastien Thibadeau talks about Andre's character development: In contrast to Chloe, “Andre Bourgeois evolved as a character because we had already imagined a back story. He had the potential to change, and that’s where the beautiful scene comes from — I think it’s magnificent — between Gabriel and himself on the roof of the Grand Palace, where he says: “But Gabriel, what’s become of us? We’ve forgotten the kids we used to be”. But we [writers] know what kids they used to be, and we’d like to tell the story one day, to show what young kids they were, when they were struggling through Paris and weren’t yet what you’ve come to know in the series. He’s sad about what’s happening to his daughter [Chloe], and he’s trying to change it, but he can’t. He is proof that a character can change.”

This. This right here is what cinched it for me. I've tried for years not to say it because it's a word that has been flung around a lot over these last few years, but I feel like this little snippet is enough of a reason for me to say it.

These writers are sexist.

They may not believe it, but whether they intended for it or not, they wrote a story arc where a grown man was shown to have more sympathetic qualities than his daughter. How the hell can you defend it in a way that doesn't highlight the misogyny that this show runs on?

The fact that they gush over how much "potential" Andre had right after saying how that same kind of potential wasn't enough of a reason to attempt a redemption arc with Chloe really shows how confusing their priorities are. I'm sorry to keep saying this, but for a show that takes a heavy anti-capitalist philosophy, it seems like the members of the 1% are the characters who get the most depth and sympathy... unless you're under 18 and lack a Y chromosome, that is.

A meeting will be set up in the coming weeks to decide on whether or not to make a live-action for ‘Miraculous’, Thomas Astruc reveals.

As a former Arrowverse fan, I'm willing to see this out. Not only did the Netflix One Piece series prove you can make an animated property work in live-action, Ladybug & Cat Noir: The Movie managed to do really well even without the usual writers behind it.

Thomas when asked about Gabriel’s wish in ‘Re-Creation’ (5x26) and whether he brought Emilie back to life: “All the answers are in the episode.”

For the love of--STOP SAYING THAT!

You keep claiming that we just need to rewatch the episode to understand things, but between the continuity errors and abandoned subplots, it's hard to tell what's important and what isn't. Either say "No comment" or give us an honest answer.

If people are still confused about how the season ended after almost a year, and you keep giving answers like this:

Maybe you need to change the way you tell the story.

Astruc when asked about ‘The Supreme’: “Oh, if only you knew... Nothing we do is meaningless.”

Sebastien Thibadeau on Season 7: “Once you’ve seen the start of season 7, I can swear you’ll watch season 6 a second time. That’s all I can say.”

Because it'll make Season 6 look like a masterpiece by comparison?

Thomas Astruc on the worldbuilding: There are Kwamis and Renlings, what makes you think there aren’t others [creatures]?

I swear, by the time we get to Season 10, we're going to get stuff like aliens, demons and talking mushrooms, or at least something ludicrous like that.

Zoe had a love at first sight when she met Marinette in ‘Sole Crusher’ (4x07), they confirm.

Of course! That's why it wasn't framed any differently from something like the umbrella scene and Zoe showed absolutely no signs of attraction to Marinette! It's genius!

Executives had Thomas write several alternative concepts for ‘Miraculous’, very different from what we know today or even the early PV. Among them, “a concept where Ladybug is the head of a group of superheroines, like Sailor Moon. There was no love story.”

Can you imagine a world without the Love Square?

The script writers’ favorite episode is ‘Simpleman’ (4x19) as it represents a personal, work and family attachment. Marinette’s grandfather, Roland Dupain, is inspired by Thomas Astruc’s grandfather.

Okay, either Astruc had a complicated relationship with his grandpa or he's been dead for years. While I understand that older generations have outdated views (for example, my great-grandmother yelled at me for saying I wanted to learn Japanese because "They tried to kill us!"), the fact that a caricture of a grumpy old man was based on his grandpa is a little concerning.

Also, between this and Sabine being based off an old flame of his, this only makes the theory that Chloe is based off a real person Astruc knew more plausible.

Astruc: “This is why our work is so difficult. We have to manage to bring in this generation of younger ones, and at the same time, we have to satisfy the generation that was here before and that grows with the series.”

First, if you're trying to please older fans, maybe don't get into fights with them on Twitter.

Second, you made a thread after "Simpleman" aired where you insulted fans for not getting the "meta" element to the episode and compared them to the character you just said was based on your grandfather.

You've also been burning away a lot of the older fans' goodwill over the years. Trust me, I have a few examples.

Despite sharing a similar appearance, the symbol on Nino’s T-shirt is not related to Hack-San.

Okay, is this a fan theory I missed back when Season 4 was airing? Why would anyone draw that conclusion?

Thomas Astruc talks about Season 6: “I’ll say it sincerely, I was very doubtful at the end of Season 5. I said to myself: “if we were to continue, how would we exceed?” Well, we did. It’s been a great season. The new writers have brought us a lot of great stuff. All the episodes we’ve written in Season 6 are fabulous. Each episode is on point, there is no unnecessary lines. All the scenes are really interesting, really well-crafted.”

Translation: Tons of filler, bad comedy, reused Akumas, and more Love Square drama that we're trying to claim hasn't been done before.

Thomas when asked if Marinette will get akumatized: “We never give any information about what may or may not happen.”

JUST. SAY. NO. COMMENT.

There are many important details throughout the series that no one has noticed. Thomas says that when we see the next seasons, we’ll think, “Oh, the writers had it all planned.”

You know, like how Season 3 established that Sentimonsters can be sent out of control by Cataclysm a few episodes before Adrien, a Sentimonster, gets hit by a Cataclysm and is affected in a different way. It was all planned from the beginning.

The Ladybug PV was an animation test and was not intended to be public. Jeremy Zag decided to leak it himself.

Honestly? Dick move on Zag's part. You have to wonder how pissed off Astruc was.

According to Thomas Astruc, what the ‘Miraculous’ series is today represents only 5% of what he wrote in the original bible he presented to Jeremy Zag. “The universe has evolved a lot since. I don’t know if the ideas I put there will be reused someday. It was very extensive.”

Thomas Astruc and Sebastien Thibadeau discuss the parallels between Marinette and Gabriel: Astruc: “Gabriel’s personal back story is the cause of his misery, not his will. And above all, it creates a beautiful mirror with Marinette, which is what’s interesting. They both have a lot of love for Adrien, they’re both designers, they both have a Miraculous, but it’s other choices.” Thibadeau: “That’s what makes it a great hero-villain contrast. Even if they don’t know it from the start, they have a real point in common. As we see at the end of Season 5, they both love Adrien. Except there’s one who does it by doing the right thing, and then there’s another who does it by doing the wrong thing, hurting people, to get there.”

And the one who did the wrong thing by hurting people ended up winning. What does that say about the contrast?

------------------------------------------------------------------

And that's it for the interview. I have to say Season 6 does not look pretty so far.

[firstkanaphans]

Is Only Friends Slut-Shaming Boston?

I’m going to be real honest here. When this idea first started making the rounds, I just thought it was a bad take, but then so many people were saying it that I started to wonder if I had missed something. So, I rewatched the finale and now can confidently say…it’s a bad take.

Do I think the narrative is punishing Boston? Abso-fucking-lutely! But is it because he’s a slut? No, of course not. (All of these assholes are sluts!) Boston is being punished because he slept with his best friend’s boyfriend. And—hot take—but I don’t think that’s an unfair reason for the narrative to punish someone. Even sluts need to have boundaries sometimes. 

The first major complaint I’ve seen is that the narrative is slut-shaming Boston by making him the only character who ends up alone (which is categorically untrue because Nick also ends up alone, but that is neither here nor there.) This story only had two possible endings: either Boston ended up alone or he ended up with Nick. And I think, if given the choice, this is the ending Boston would have chosen for himself. This isn’t a sad ending for him. He’s unhappy being in a monogamous relationship. This is what he wants. 

This is also just a ridiculous argument altogether because if you think Only Friends is slut-shaming its characters, the last thing you should want is for one of your sluts to suddenly decide not to be a slut because of the healing power of love. I would argue that forcing a polyamorous man into a monogamous relationship would be even more sex negative than what happened in canon. 

And for those saying polyamory should have been considered, I would just like to remind you that there are two people in Boston and Nick’s relationship and they both deserve a say. That is, very literally, what ethical non-monogamy is. It has to be consensual. 

From day one, Nick has wanted to be in a monogamous relationship with Boston. That’s what their arc is all about. And when they finally get together in episode eleven, Boston makes it explicitly clear that monogamy is one of the terms he’s offering. So while I think it’s perfectly valid for Boston to want a polyamorous relationship, I don’t think it’s fair to expect Nick to just accept that when he was promised differently. The central conflict here is not Boston’s promiscuousness. It’s that Nick wants a monogamous relationship and Boston doesn’t. And that’s okay! Boston is free to live his “fun and sassy” life as Nick calls it (with no judgment whatsoever), but Nick is also free to live his. 

People have been dragging Sand for telling Nick not to “lower his bar” for Boston, insinuating that this is slut-shaming language, but I actually think the conversation between him and Nick perfectly illustrates why this whole situation with Boston is not slut-shaming. Sand spells it out clearly: “People have different ideas about this,” i.e. “You and Boston have different ideas about this. He wants one thing, you want another. Don’t change for him.” He never suggests that Boston’s way of living is bad, he is simply saying that it’s not compatible with Nick’s.

The only argument I have heard in favor of Only Friends slut-shaming its characters that I feel holds any water is that Boston never received a proper apology for any of the horrible things that were done to him—but then again, neither did Top. Now this could certainly be because Top is a slut, too, and therefore doesn't deserve apologies, but I think it’s far more likely that the directors were simply running out of available screen time. 

Boston ends the series having re-kindled his friendship with Ray and Chuem. He has moved to New York to live out his dream. He is single—which is what he wants. I don’t think this is a bad ending for him.  Boston’s biggest slut-shamer has always been Mew and him sleeping with Top only reinforced that idea. If you think the narrative is slut-shaming Boston, I think you’re only seeing things from Mew’s perspective. Mew is slut-shaming Boston. Mew is punishing Boston. The narrative remains neutral.

TL;DR: No. Boston is a slut and he is being shamed, but the two are unrelated.

[becauseimanicequeen]

Don't Ask Me for QL Recommendations Because My Taste is BAD

Bad as in TRASHY.

For your own good, don't ask me for recommendations.

I'm writing this because I've gotten some asks lately for QL recommendations and I wanted to spare you the pain.

If you still don't trust me (because to be fair, why would you? I'm just a random weirdo on the internet), let me tell you how bad my taste is so you'll know why I'm doing you a great favor by sparing you the pain.

(I also watch, and rewatch, series/films for ridiculous reasons, yet another reason not to listen to me. I’ll come back to this in a minute.)

Let's start with a brief rewind to a couple of decades ago (because it matters in this context).

The first queer content of any kind I can remember watching was Xena: The Warrior Princess in the late 90s and early 00s (I was a child/pre-teen at the time). It was such a pivotal point for me, which is why I remember it vividly. Not only was Lucy Lawless (the actress playing Xena) the most beautiful human being I had ever seen at that point, Xena was also queer and I loved her.

The series, though? It’s bad.

It’s over-the-top, contains ridiculous humor, face-palm-worthy fight scenes, etc., etc. (But, it was also the 90s, so it was quality television at the time, no matter what anyone else says.) It was so bad that it was ridiculously entertaining. I would watch it today (if I could find it anywhere…). That’s how bad my taste is (or how attached I am to bad shit).

That’s when the groundwork for my bad taste was laid. I blame THANK Xena: The Warrior Princess for it.

Then there was a huge skip until July last year when I found the Asian QL world, because I had no idea it even existed (I’m from Europe, btw).

(My personal story is that I fell into the queer/gay film world before the QL world, and the queer films I could find were made and released very sporadically. But ever since I found the treasure trove of Asian QL series in July 2023, I’ve watched 291 series/films as of right now.)

The reason I fell into the Asian QL world was thanks to a Short on YouTube with the main characters from Roommates of Poongduck 304 kissing. (Want to know what convinced me to watch it? One of them was wearing blue and the other pink, two of my favorite colors. Yep, that’s the reason. Told you it would be ridiculous.)

Since then, I’ve been exploring this rabbit hole and loving every second of all the bad shit that’s out there (there’s some great shit too, and some great things that aren’t shit at all, but they’re not really my taste because my taste is trashy, remember?).

I quickly noticed what my taste was pulling me towards and, in some cases, the trashier it was, the more I liked it.

(I’m talking about fiction here. I’m mature enough to be able to separate fiction from reality. Just because I enjoy watching a series/film that depicts a problematic topic, and sometimes do it in a problematic way, doesn’t mean I condone it in real life. I’m just putting this here as a disclaimer because people on the internet are easily offended nowadays. And I honestly don’t have time to respond to people who are venting their anger after purposefully misinterpreting what I’ve said, unless there’s a very valid reason, which there usually isn’t.)

So, what are some of my favorites that I absolutely do not recommend you watch?

Unless you want to watch trash, then, have at it. Just don't say I didn't warn you.

(Btw, if you like any of these, I apologize for calling your taste bad and trashy. But, if you like any of these, I think you already know your taste is bad. Also, if you like any of these, hey, bestie!)

Let’s start with the less extreme ones so I don’t scare you away from the start. After that, they’re in no particular order.

(With the issues/TW section for each series/film I include possible trigger warnings, taboo topics, what viewers/commenters have brought up as problematic, my possible issues with the writing, etc. I won’t list everything (because some of them would have looong lists) but I’m including some of the major ones.)

Kiseki: Dear to Me (Taiwan)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, age gap, “adoptive” brothers becoming lovers, etc.

Both couples in this series have their own set of issues. Ai Di and Chen Yi are the “adoptive” brothers who become lovers while Ze Rui and Zong Yi have an age gap (I can’t remember how big of an age gap but I think it was close to 10-ish years).

(Before I move on there’s one thing you should know about me… I was born into a family with a varying degree of age gaps within marriages, from 2 to 23 years. Even though we’ve talked about the bigger age gaps occasionally, it’s never been an issue. I don’t mind age gaps as long as they’re legal. Does that mean I would hook up with someone in their late teens or early twenties? No. I would rather hook up with someone who has a fully developed brain, which science suggests doesn’t happen until somewhere in the mid-to-late-twenties. But it does mean that age gaps (as long as they’re legal) aren’t something I’ll be bothered by or judgemental of.)

Kiseki: Dear to Me is one of my favorite series because:

It’s from Taiwan, and the Taiwanese QLs are generally great at dealing with more difficult and taboo topics.

Ai Di is the feistiest, most colorful, and pettiest bitch and I love him with my entire ice-cold heart.

Chen Yi looks amazing in black.

The neon lights (because I’m a slut for that).

Also, the kissing (from both couples) is great.

You know, I did say that these would be series/films I absolutely do not recommend you watch. But I’ll actually recommend this one. Watch it. It’s great.

Unknown (Taiwan)

Issues/TW: Age gap, “adoptive” brothers becoming lovers, etc.

This is another one I’ll actually recommend you watch because it’s great.

The main couple (Qian and Yuan) are the “adoptive” brothers becoming lovers while the age gap is most prominent between San Pang (Qian’s business partner) and Lili (Qian’s younger sister). There’s also the fact that San Pang is part of their chosen family and has seen Lili grow up and stuff. So, if that bothers you, then don’t watch it.

The biggest reasons I would personally recommend it to those I know aren’t particularly bothered by taboo topics are because:

The yearning is palpable (and I love shit like that).

Qian would move heaven and earth for his family.

The great story.

The even more amazing acting.

Some moments made me bawl (and since I'm an ice queen, I get obsessed with shit that shatters my ice and makes me cry).

I know I said my taste is trashy… but I would actually give myself a gold star for loving this one.

Now, back to the real trash…

Love in the Air (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, SA, rape, MAME, etc.

Everyone and their aunt (or however the saying goes in English) seem to have an issue with MAME (the original creator of LITA and several other trashy BLs) and for good reason. (I would say that she improved a lot with Wedding Plan, which is the least problematic thing I’ve watched from her and it’s the latest series of hers, as of right now.) If she’s grown, remains to be seen. But it doesn’t change the fact that LITA has some issues.

Honestly, I just watch this for the visuals, as in the motorcycles and the neon lights. That’s it. That’s the reason.

I mean, if you look at the whole first sex scene between Sky and Prapai, you get what I mean with the neon lights. It’s divine. (I recently rewatched LITA for this very reason. A waste of time, you say? Not when you’re a slut for neon lights.)

Don’t watch this though! Just enjoy this gif instead…

I just saved you 13-ish hours of your life. You’re welcome.

TharnType and TharnType 2: 7 Years of Love (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, homophobia, domestic violence, MAME, etc.

Don’t watch this. This is bad. As in, really bad. And all the issues are in the main couple’s relationship.

But, since my taste is really bad, I rewatched this recently for horny reasons (it’s Mew, after all, and he’s got me in a chokehold for some reason). It’s still as bad as I remembered it, but I would still rewatch it for Mew’s sake (and because Techno is ridiculous throughout both seasons, which means I love him).

To be fair there are other, a lot spicier, series that I watch more often for horny reasons (yes, some of them are in this post because they’re trashy too), but none of them include Mew. And since I have to get my dose of Mew from time to time, I return to TharnType (especially the second season).

Big Dragon (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, blackmail, etc.

This isn’t that problematic in my opinion, but there is definitely a drug-induced sexcapade that’s taped and used for blackmail for a while. And that's how the series starts.

I recently did a rewatch of this and it was still bad (in a good way) and I loved every second of it.

What I love about this series are:

The visuals. The set designs are beautiful (especially Yai’s home and the bar, before he demolishes it). As a visual artist, this is speaking to my soul.

The chemistry between Yai and Mangkorn.

Pong and Park. Two idiots I love with my whole ice-cold heart.

And the title track because it’s addictive as hell to listen to.

Also, the sex (which my horny ass needs). Let's not forget the sex. Those scenes were also visually stunning, which made me love them even more.

Honestly, I'll kneel and bow down to this shit because it's that great.

Don’t trust my judgment, though, because my taste is trashy.

Only Friends (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Manipulation, stalking, promiscuity, etc.

This series is messy in terms of intrigue (especially from Boston and then Boeing’s part). The ending had some issues. The sex isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, either. I, on the other hand, would drink a whole pot of this.

Overall, I loved this trash. Mainly because of:

How visually stunning it is.

Sand. He’s a hardworking, good person. He’s also a proud bi!

How they depicted and handled Ray’s addiction and recovery. (I know some watchers were upset that the focus of the series landed on Sand and Ray towards the end while neglecting the other characters, which is a valid point. However, setting that aside, the way they portrayed Ray’s addiction and then his road to recovery in the last couple of episodes was realistic, and I loved it.)

The promiscuity, because I loved it and the mess it created.

Boston being a slutty asshole. The more of a slutty asshole he was, the more I loved him. (I know, it’s a me-problem.)

Boeing coming in and kissing (almost) everyone.

It’s trashy, it’s messy, and I love it!

But, I don’t recommend it to anyone.

My Beautiful Man 1, 2, and 3 Eternal (Japan)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, obsession, bullying, lack of (or no real) communication, etc.

I love this series (2 seasons + 1 film), but I honestly don’t see it as particularly problematic. But I know others will disagree with me, so here it is on my list of trashy QLs.

I don’t mind Hira’s obsession because I know Kiyoi is just as whipped for Hira (even though he doesn’t know how to communicate it to Hira at first, especially in a way that Hira understands). Would I be okay with someone’s obsession and stalking in real life? Of course not. But, as I mentioned before, I’m mature enough to separate fiction from reality.

Also, I love miscommunicating characters, especially when the misunderstandings they create bring out all the emotions (angst, hurt, anger, sadness, embarrassment, etc.) and even the flight response. I especially love miscommunicating characters when they learn to communicate throughout the series/film. And this series is especially delicious on the miscommunicating part.

But, it’s also problematic, apparently. So, don’t watch it.

The End of the World With You (Japan)

Issues/TW: Blackmail, biphobia, cheating, etc.

I’ll be honest and say that I’ve only watched this series three times. And that’s because the biphobia is fucking annoying. In this series, the bi character is depicted as a cheater (which is common in QLs, btw). It’s an exasperating stereotype. Cheating has nothing to do with your sexuality and everything to do with who you are as a person.

(I mean, you can be a proud bi like Payu in LITA or Sand in OF. They have eyes only for one person as soon as they’re pursuing or dating someone. Give me more bi characters like this, please.)

We could discuss how cheating can be used as characterization in certain stories. But not in this one. Here, they’re basically using Ritsu’s bisexuality as the reason he’s cheating (since he’s sleeping with Masumi while having a thing going on with a girl, and then sleeping with a girl when he has a thing with Masumi), which is why it’s bothering me in this series.

If I’m going to tell you why I like this series, however, it’s for 2 reasons:

It’s about getting a second chance, a topic I love.

The sex (laser-focused horny Ritsu is my favorite Ritsu).

Check Out (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Biphobia, cheating, lazy writing, etc.

(It should be mentioned that I’ve read some comments about some issues involving the company behind this series. I haven’t dug deeper into this so I don’t really know if there’s any substance to the comments I’ve read (like official statements from the company or the other people involved, etc.). But I’m putting this out there in case this might be a potential issue for you (even though I’ve already told you that I don’t recommend you watch any of these because they’re all trashy).)

When I first checked this out at the beginning of this year, this series seemed to have created a storm of bad comments and reviews on MDL since it first came out. So, obviously, I needed to watch it because my taste is trashy.

And, you know what? I loved it!

Besides having the bi character depicted as a cheater (again, the use of this biphobic stereotype is so fucking annoying) and the sporadic clunky and stale scenes, I loved this series because:

It’s about second chances. As I mentioned before, I love that topic.

Best (the actor playing Daonuea) is the best in this series. There’s just something about him that grabs my attention every time. He has me in a similarly tight chokehold as Mew.

There’s sex (and my horny ass needs it).

But, it’s also trash, so don’t watch it.

Pit Babe (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Domestic violence, non-consensual, SA, age gap, etc.

This became popular. Really popular. I saw people comment about it everywhere. And usually, when stuff becomes popular, it’s more than likely reduced to trash quality by the general public. So, obviously, I had to watch it.

Did I end up loving it? Yes.

Honestly, the biggest issue this series had for me was the whole omegaverse thing (this was a new thing for me because I don’t come from an erotic fiction background, my head was rather stuck in fantasy fiction). And, from my limited understanding of this, they didn’t seem to fully commit to the omegaverse thing in Pit Babe, which was unfortunate.

The racing was also so-so for me, which hurt my soul because I usually love racing (cars, mcs, boats, etc.).

What I did like, however, was:

The chemistry between Pete and Kenta (and I’m so sad I only got crumbs of this).

Pavel (the actor playing Babe). I would watch and listen to him recite product placement scripts for toothpaste all day long.

The sex, especially the scene with Babe and Charlie in ep. 9 (even though it was mixed with clips from the racing) and Jeff and Alan’s scene in ep. 13 (because it was sensual, if we ignore the music).

The neon lights (have I mentioned that I’m a slut for neon lights?). I mean, just look at this:

I can watch that pinkish light all day long, even though Babe and Charlie are trying to distract me. (Especially Pavel!)

Dead Friend Forever (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Grooming, bullying, suicide & suicide attempts, etc.

Besides the issues listed above, this also suffered from lazy writing at the end. BUT, I fucking loved DFF anyway.

I never expected to love this series because it’s just a bunch of teenagers stuck at a house in the woods. How interesting could that be? Turns out, very.

DFF wasn’t perfect (perfection doesn’t exist anyway), but what I loved about it was:

The morally ambiguous characters.

The revenge plot.

The poetic justice.

The questioning of what was real vs hallucination.

The visually stunning shots.

The mask!

And Tan’s mask!

The beheading scene.

I could go on, but you get the point. I just love this piece of trash.

But, please, don’t watch it. You will suffer from brain rot. Trust me.

I, however, am currently rewatching this because I choose the brain rot. And my taste is trashy, remember? Or, perhaps I just love watching chaos unfold…

HIStory 3: Make Our Days Count (Taiwan)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, age gap, tragic ending, etc.

Everyone and their aunt and even their dog have an issue with the ending of this one. And it’s understandable.

I don’t necessarily like or dislike the ending. Obviously, the bury your gays trope is tragic in itself, and, tragically, it’s still being used. That’s why I couldn’t find myself liking the ending, even though I don’t mind tragic endings. (Romeo and Juliet is one of my favorite classics, which people tend to forget is a tragedy and not a romance, btw, but I digress…)

At the same time, though, this series made me cry for a whole episode before tragedy struck because I could feel it. And you have no idea how obsessed I get about shit that makes me cry (since I’m an ice queen).

(Another side note: one of my favorite BLs is Once Again, which made me bawl throughout the whole series. It’s not on this list because it’s neither trashy nor bad, but it’s still one of my favorites because it broke me in the best ways. But, anyway…)

The best part of this series from beginning to end was the other couple, at least for me. This couple is the one with the age gap (which, again, doesn’t bother me) and I fucking love them! One, because Wilson Liu (the actor playing Bo Xiang) is such a gem. Second, because their first time was such a spur-of-the-moment thing fueled by a desire that went from 0-100kph in less time than a Ferrari would. And I loved it (just as much as the squeezing of boobs from behind, which, for some reason, appeals to me).

Also, the twins are so pretty it’s annoying.

Do I recommend it, though? No, because I don’t have time to respond to the clap back I’ll get when you come to the end.

HIStory 4: Close to You (Taiwan)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, SA, obsession, age gap, stepbrothers becoming lovers, etc.

This one has some problems (especially the relationship between Yong Jie and Xing Si), but I love both the series and its problems (yes, I’m trash). You could say that I’m as obsessed with this series as Yong Jie is with Xing Si. Would I get this series drunk and fuck the living daylights out of it? No. But I would watch it once every 3 months or so. Oh, wait… I already do that. Because I’m trash.

What do I love so much about this series (other than what I mentioned above):

It’s from Taiwan.

Li Cheng is ridiculous, which is exactly why I love him.

Every time I rewatch it, it gets funnier.

The chemistry between Li Cheng and Teng Teng is amazing.

As well as the chemistry between Yong Jie and Xing Si.

The kissing is just as amazing.

The main fujoshi girl, Mei Fang, is so cute I can’t handle her.

And the bathroom scene! In that lighting! It’s iconic!

I don’t care what anyone else says. This is fucking gold to me. But, then again, my taste is trash. So, don’t listen to me.

KinnPorsche (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, SA, torture, Stockholm syndrome-ish, etc.

This is some next-level trash, and I fucking love it.

Two of the major relationships in this series (Kinn & Porsche and Vegas & Pete) are problematic at some point. Especially Vegas and Pete who have this whole captor/captive, torture, BDSM-ish type relationship. Of course, I love Vegas and Pete because my taste is super trashy (yes, it’s a me-problem, but I don’t force my taste on other people, so, for the love of all that is holy, don’t watch this!).

Other reasons I love this series and rewatch it from time to time:

It’s visually stunning! The cinematography is amazing. As I mentioned before, I’m a visual artist, so this is a very valid reason for me to watch it again and again. And again.

The neon lights.

The whole mafia thing.

The sex (because my horny ass needs it).

Playboyy (Thailand)

Issues/TW: SA, homophobia, suicide, etc.

I was debating whether or not to add this to my list solely based on the ending. However, up until that point, I really liked it.

The fact that every episode starts with a whole ass list of trigger warnings tells me this is my shit. And it was.

At times, it was so bad that it was good (until the ending, which was just so bad it was bad). The things I liked were:

The mystery.

Win (who played Nuth). His acting was great.

The chemistry between Nuth and Phop.

The tattooed daddy that’s Aob and his chemistry with Puen (there’s also an age gap here, btw, but as I’ve mentioned before, it’s fine by me as long as it’s legal).

The weird ass sex scenes (and the underwear).

And the not so weird ass sex scenes (like the ones between Aob and Puen and the ones between Nuth and Phop).

But, this series is trashy. Keep as far away from it as possible. If you still decide to dip in, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Red Wine in the Dark Night (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Obsession, blood, human blood bags, etc.

This is a queer film that’s BL-ish with some dark themes. Mainly, it’s about how far Wine would go to help the person he’s fallen for (or become attached to).

What I loved about this film was:

Fluke (who plays Wine). He’s such a great actor and I love him in everything he does.

Wine who is so desperate to love someone and be loved that he ends up doing some weird shit.

The darker and sadder vibe, which I love.

Irresistible Love 1 and Irresistible Love 2 (China)

(This is also called Uncontrolled Love.) 

Issues/TW: Obsession, homophobia, codependency, adoptive brothers becoming lovers, etc.

This is another queer film (in two parts) that is more BL-ish than the films I’m getting into below.

This depicts a weird relationship dynamic between Xie Yan and Shu Nian where Shu Nian was basically adopted into the family to become Xie Yan’s friend/babysitter/lackey. This is some weird ass shit, and I love weird ass shit so I really enjoyed this rare, uncensored, gem from China.

But, it’s also trashy. So, don’t watch it.

The next couple of films I’ll mention are (obviously) trashy, but also complex and deep (which is why I love them).

One Summer Night (South Korea)

Issues/TW: Obsession, dependency, oppression, etc.

This is a low-budget film from 2016 (so, production-wise, it’s definitely nothing like the usual stuff from South Korea you can watch on Netflix), but I love it.

It’s gritty, it’s raw, it’s explicit (an emphasis on explicit because you’ll see dicks), it deals with being a North Korean defector but ending up in an impoverished situation in South Korea, and it ends with a dubious ending you can interpret in different ways.

This is definitely not for the general QL viewers who watch QLs for the cutesy stuff.

And it's trashy. So, don’t watch it.

Dangerous Drugs of Sex (Japan)

Issues/TW: All the trigger warnings! Seriously. I feel like it’s better to say that so you’ll look up the TWs for yourself (if you choose to watch this, which I'm asking you not to) rather than me mentioning a few and forgetting others.

With this film, what others see are all the trigger warnings (and, yes, I see them too, they’re fucking obvious). However, I can see beyond that and watch it for what it is at the core: Two characters dealing with incredible grief.

Grief is a topic that often affects me and I can relate to it because I’ve had to deal with a lot of grief in my relatively short life. Watching a film like this where grief pushes the characters to their very limits will (often) get a special place in my heart, especially if done well. And it’s done very well in this film.

Do I condone the characters’ behaviors? No (especially not Yoden Ryoji’s). But I do understand that grief can send you over the edge (and in some cases throw you off the edge) because I’ve experienced it. I do understand that grief can cause you to make horrible decisions because I’ve done it (though, not this extreme). I do understand that grief can be self-destructive because I’ve been there. This film shows it all. That’s why I love it so much.

Do I recommend you watch this, tough? No. Don’t do it. This is not for everyone. It’s definitely not for those who watch QLs for the cutesy stuff.

But it is for me because I love trash. Especially good trash. And this is the best trash I’ve ever seen when it comes to gay films.

Anything by Scud Cheng

Lastly, I want to mention any film by Scud Cheng because…

And I’m an artist so art means everything to me.

Cheng is a screenwriter and director from Hong Kong. His films, the ones I’ve seen, are gritty, nude, and real. They are more on the art side than the others I’ve listed above, which is why they have a special place in my heart.

They’re also deep and explore themes like introspection (are we doing things because we believe they’re the right thing to do, or because external forces have “brainwashed” us to believe they’re the normal thing to do?), the porn industry and how it exploits young and queer men, death, politics, and love, to name a few.

These are not for the average QL watcher. They’re not for the faint of heart. They’re not for those who want an entertaining watch.

These films require multiple viewings. I’ve watched some once, some twice, and some more times, and I still find new themes and meanings woven into the stories. So, they’re complex and deep.

But, don’t watch them because I know you’ll come at me later. So, to spare us both the time and energy it would take to argue about this shit, just don’t watch any of it.

Now, if you still want to ask me for recommendations after all that, don't tell me I didn't warn you!

[leia-doodles]

Monster high G3 rant

Watching the TV series and I’m kind of disappointed.

This will be my second watch of season 1, I’m rewatching after the current season 2 episodes.

the show feels very flat in my opinion. They’ve given the characters a lot of cool traits, but they’re used for like one episode and then never brought up, or they only use one specific trait 24/7. Like Frankie in this generation, they have the ability to electrocute, extend their body parts, and they get visions from the people they’re made out of. Specifically they get visions from this one recurring doctor/ scientist. The idea is cool, but the vision literally is there to give exposition about something conveniently. Like when they are trying to solve the puzzle of clawdeens mom, Frankie’s vision just conveniently tells them what to do and how to do it.

In that same episode, we see manny taur. A Minotaur character. And right away we are just told that he’s good at puzzle solving, and so is draculaura! They’re rivals! But this is the first time I’ve ever seen or heard about draculaura being into puzzles, let alone her one sided rivalry with manny. And as the episode ends, she’s like “well you can be the rightful puzzle master” but it feels so flat. There has been no build up to this moment.

Another example is lagoona. In her designated episode, she is rooting for torelai to win the fear-leading captain over draculaura (another thing that has no build up as to why it’s important to her) lagoona explains that torelai is holding a secret over her head, and if it gets out she will lose her status as the fiercest monster in school. But this is the first time we have heard this!! In previous episodes there’s no mention of her being scary or fierce. Or even her super fast swimming skills. It’s just brought up and glosses over with a “be who you are, it’s okay to like what you want! We all have secrets 🥹” but there’s no real character development.

My last example will be the way draculaura is presented in this series. From what she tells us, she has high standards to live up to as a vampire. She needs to look good for her day so she studies endlessly and is striving for perfection. But she also has a love for witchcraft, which is banned in monster high due to its connections to humans. This can be a cute premise, but they NEVER show draculaura compared to any other vampire to show how she’s supposed to act. They never give us episodes where she blows off her friend’s shenanigans because it makes her look bad, and they never really show her dad being so overbearing. They don’t show us WHY humans are hated. And even though witchcraft is banned, whenever anyone finds out about it they’re just cool with it? No push back or anything. The only character to challenge draculaura was torelai.

This all may be very nitpicky, but MH is a character driven franchise. Character relationships with each other and their surroundings are very important to me. I want to feel the so called pressure these characters are being put under. It doesn’t have to be ultra serious 24/7, but issues get resolved within one episode and then rehashed a few episodes later with no further development. Especially with characters like Cleo and lagoona. They have been benched as side characters in this show, and side characters get much worse treatment.

‘The general episode progression is like this - introduce an issue, introduce a high stakes situation that involves the school, have all or one of the main 3 engage in a sequence of fights against this issue(or rapid solving of said issue through convince) - issue is resolved and lesson is told to viewers-characters reset for the next episode.

I know this is a children’s show, but that doesn’t mean it needs to have bad writing, not all kids are high off cocomelon. Kids deserve good writing in their media!

My next rant will be about clawdeen and her story this generation

[cursingtoji]

🎙️ just saw your post asking about blog recs…step up to the stage bc i need some!!!!

BLOGS RECOMMENDATION <3

— mostly jjk, but also chainsaw man and aot

*taping the mic* okay here are my nominees with some fics recomendations as well

disclaimers!

lemme start saying so plot is everything to me, pwp can be hot but i'll hardly remember it afterwards, that being said here's some writers that can do both great plots and hot scenes.

also while digging i realize i wasn’t following some of those and if you noticed im sorry im dumb but i truly love your writing.

i tried to tag every active blog i could remember but it’s possible i forgot a few since i’ve been reading more jjk recently. if i forgot you im so sorry please don’t take offense.

many blogs i loved were deactivated, rest in piece great works they had.

everything i read i reblog under the tag #recs

@thekillingmoonmoon ofc moon is the first one i think when the topic "best writers" come up, i freaking love her and everything she does its not even fair to pick one thing so im picking 3, this super passionate toji work that i re-read at an alarming frequency (which btw i consider my own personal gift). yakuza choso and yuki aka the hottest duo ever. the cherry on top is her kishibe series (just realized i gotta catch up on)

@rinhaler - luxe is def on my top 3, she comes up with very organic scenes. even if it's a simple plot she can develop it so originally. I recently read her underground fighter!sukuna and i'm still thinking about it.

@laudthingcat has the best headcanons in the jjk fandom hands down, it’s the perfect dose of hot funny and cute, pick anything from her masterlist it’s guaranteed you’ll have a good time reading it. when you moan their name in your sleep in particular gives me butterflies

@meownotgood is obviously the best aki writer out there, you can see the love for aki in their words and how they write him so well and so into character. arrival in tokyo is truly a masterpiece, they also have a +100k words series i've been wanting to read for a while but i want to rewatch chainsaw man first hehe, i'm 100% sure is fire tho.

@kentoangel roma writes choso like she's in love with him and you can tell. shes always on my for you and even her snippets are *chefs kiss* special kudos to stepbrother!choso

@kentopedia i just realized i'm assigning a writer per character and nanami is definitely rylie's. the domestic lovely way she writes him makes me forget canon.

@tojisun another blog that is very often on my for you page. cannot talk about toji fics without bringing up sun, everything she writes about him has me furiously nodding. not to mention simon and konig, just talking about them makes me wanna run to her blog and binge read everything

@chocochipsushi 's bodyguard toji is unforgetable to me, i wish i lost my memory so i could read it all again for the first time. bodyguard toji is the definition of living rent free in my mind, whenever i have to deal with annoying coworkers i immediately think “bodyguard toji would not allow them to talk to me like that”

@suget one of the greatest geto writers for sure, they have so many geto works, i was going through their blog to find the one i read more recently and there was so many others i haven’t seen! another writer i could very easily spend a whole day binge reading. btw this cult leader one was recommended to me and i fell in love with it <3

@staryukis has the cutest gojo drabbles

@tonycries brooklin baby was recommended to me by moon and it had me by the neck! also they have many other works im hoping to read soon as well

@mommypieck isayama created reiner but they created subby reiner

@titan-fodder ‘s the tinniest notion The Best Reiner fic in all the existence of the universe (tw: stepcest kinda?)

@nanaslutt mma!toji made feel every emotion possible so intensely

[st-eve-barnes]

You know that I'm no good (chapter 5)

(Modern Aegon x fem Reader, Modern Sihtric x fem Reader)

Summary: You want Sihtric. Aegon wants Skade. There's only one small problem: Sihtric and Skade are dating each other.

This chapter: in spite of your growing and confusing feelings for Aegon things get cozy with Sihtric as well. (I know my Sihtric girls have been very patient, you're getting a bit more of him this chapter!)

The movie I picked in this chapter was random and I quickly picked one of my fave songs from it not realizing it's actually pretty perfect for Aegon, so go listen to Girl you'll be a woman soon by Urge Overkill.

Warning for the entire series: 18+ for explicit language and smut. Angst/comfort/fluff. Fake dating and so much mutual pining. Mentions of depression/drinking/self harm.

This is an Aegon x Reader fic with a bit of Sihtric x Reader on the side. I've wanted to write a modern AU that combines The Last Kingdom and House of the dragon for a while now so here it is!

Word count: +2900

Masterlist

***

All my fics are also on AO3

***

You were on your couch again the next Friday night, determined not to open the door for anyone this time and enjoy your Netflix alone time. Before you started your Stranger Things rewatch you took one last look at your phone.

Zero messages.

Aegon had been quiet since last weekend. You supposed you could always text him first but you didn’t want to appear too eager, which you of course absolutely were but you didn’t want him to know that. Your feelings for him still confused you and having slept on Helaena’s words you were determined to at least try and follow her advice. 

Focus on just having fun with Aegon and try not to overthink things. And get back to the plan with Sihtric. You were in the middle of the second episode when your phone lit up with a text, from Aegon. You reached for it so fast you almost dropped your phone on the floor. 

So far for not appearing too eager.

“Good evening, moon of my life ❤️”

His text made your heart skip a beat and your lips curled up into the biggest smile. Damned, you hated the effect he had on you.

“Hey, loser,” you texted back.

“Whatcha doin?” his answer came immediately.

“Watching Netflix and not leaving my couch, and you?”

“In my bed watching a movie. I would ask you to come over but you don’t wanna leave your couch so I won't bother.”

Shit.

“What movie?” you typed, ignoring his invite and trying not to think of the image of him lying in his bed all cozy and alone.

“Pulp fiction.”

“Oh, a classic.”

“You’ve seen it?”

“Of course I’ve seen it, a long time ago though, I think I remember I loved it?”

You jumped when your phone rang and your heart leaped again seeing Aegon’s name appear on the screen. You eagerly accepted his call,”Hey, loser.”

His voice was soft and heavy in your ear,“Watch it with me.”

“Aegon, I’m not coming over.”

“That’s not what I meant, look for it on Netflix and we can watch it together, I’m only 5 minutes in, I’ll wait for you.”

You sighed,”I was watching Stranger Things.”

“And now we’re going to watch something that isn’t crap. Come on, doll face, do it, I’ll wait.”

You stopped the episode to type the movie into the search bar. 

“Stranger Things isn’t crap,” you stated in the meantime, settling back in your spot on the couch.”And what gives you the right to interrupt my plans again by the way? Is this going to happen every Friday night?

“Maybe,” Aegon teased,”Would you mind?”

You could practically hear his shit-eating grin through the phone.

"Ask me again in a few weeks," you teased him back and he laughed.

“You ready?” he then asked.

“Ready.”

Aegon let you watch in silence for ten minutes before he started giving you his opinion on certain scenes, which resulted in you having to tell him to shut up because you were missing things.

“But you’ve seen it already,” he ignored your complaints.

“That was years ago, I don’t remember every little detail!” you threw back,"Let me pay attention."

“Okay, fine, I’ll shut up,” he promised. Which lasted for exactly five minutes. You gave up on trying after that, and you had to admit you were kind of enjoying the sound of his voice a little more than the movie anyway. His laughter through the phone warmed your heart and when he sang along to “Girl you’ll be a woman soon” your heart wasn’t the only thing getting overheated.

By the end of the movie he turned more quiet again but you could still hear him breathing right next to your ear, making it feel as if he was right there in the room with you. 

God, how you wished he was right there in the room with you. 

And how you wished the movie was longer than it actually was because before you knew it the end credits started rolling and you could hear Aegon let out a long, tired sigh and yawn.

“Thanks for keeping me company, darling,” he then spoke sweetly.

“Next time you’re watching Stranger Things with me,” you teased him and you could hear him laugh softly.

“Next time you come over and watch it in bed with me,” he whispered in a sleepy voice, putting your stomach in knots.

“Good night, Aegs.”

“Sweet dreams, my beautiful girl.”

***

You had just finished breakfast the next morning when your phone lit up with a text, not Aegon but Helaena this time.

“Party at Sihtric’s house tonight and guess who got us all an invite? You can thank me later, pick you up at 10!”

You couldn’t help but smile and feel excited by her message but your initial excitement wore off quickly when you realized Sihtric wasn’t the one you were excited about. Your first thoughts and the butterflies in your stomach were all for someone else.

When did this happen? Sihtric was the one you’d been crushing on for the past six months or so, the guy you so desperately wanted to date only a few weeks ago, your ultimate dream guy, the prettiest guy you’d ever seen. And now?

Did you even still want him? Or had Aegon wormed his way into your brain and your heart to the point there was no more room for Sihtric?

You closed your eyes, trying to conjure Sihtric’s beautiful features and unique eyes and cast Aegon out but all you could see was two beautiful blue eyes and a dumb smile that didn’t belong to Sihtric.

Fuck.

Another text from Helaena popped up on your screen:”You’d better wear something slutty, I have a feeling tonight is your night, babe!”

You decided on something mildly slutty, one of your best fitting jeans with a low cut top showing off your back and a little cleavage.

When Helaena texted you the address you found out Sihtric didn’t live too far from your apartment. As you walked up the steps to his house you were amazed by the size of it, it looked more like a mansion than a house., you knew he was pretty well off but you still hadn’t expected that.

Helaena locked arms with you as you both walked into the luxurious garden, there was a huge swimming pool, bar and barbecue and quite a few familiar faces hanging around.

“Not bad, huh?” Helaena whispered.

“Not bad,” you agreed,”I’m gonna go look for a bathroom first, I’ll meet you back out here.”

You walked up the stairs to the house and through the kitchen, looking for the bathroom but failing to find one you walked up the stairs.

“Lady Y/N?”

His voice made you turn around instantly and you stared right into his beautiful mismatched eyes. Sihtric was standing at the bottom of the stairs, wearing black jeans and a simple white t-shirt and it looked ridiculously good on him. You almost felt relief when the sight of him still took your breath away.

Maybe your dormant crush on him wasn’t as dead as you had assumed after all.

“You remembered my name,” you smiled surprised.

He returned your smile,”Of course I did. You’re hard to forget.”

He carefully walked up the stairs to get closer to you, reaching out his hand again and when you offered yours he shook it firmly and then held onto it just a little too long, the contact making you blush. 

“How are you enjoying the party?” he asked.

“We’ve only just arrived, but I’m already in awe of this gorgeous house you have here.”

“Ah, I wish I could take credit for that but it’s my parent’s house,” he explained,”I’m just house sitting for them while they’re away for the summer. Let’s just say my place is a little more…modest.”

He gave you a sweet smile that you couldn’t help but return.

“Well, does your parent’s mansion also have a bathroom?”

He smiled,”It has five actually.”

Your eyes widened and he nodded his head and laughed,”I know, so over the top, right? I’ll walk you to the closest one. Follow me.”

You followed him up the stairs, swallowing down the nerves in your stomach and trying not to stare at his ass too much.

“It’s the first door right there,” he pointed,”Do you…want me to wait until you’re done?”

There was a teasing, almost flirty tone to his question.

“No, I think it’s a little early on in our relationship for you to hear me pee,” you teased back.

He laughed again, so loud and so genuine it lit up his entire face and it made you swell with pride. Not only had you managed to talk to him without letting your nerves take the upper hand but you actually managed to make him laugh as well. It made your confidence soar.

“Come find me when you’re done,” he then spoke softer,”The price for using my personal bathroom is a dance. So you owe me one.”

He winked at you again before returning his way down the stairs.

You entered the bathroom with a big sheepish grin on your face and when you looked at your reflexion in the mirror you covered your face with both hands, both excited and slightly embarrassed.

You jumped when your phone beeped, expecting a text from Helaena but it was Aegon this time.

“Just arrived at Sihtric’s but my pretty girlfriend isn’t here :( “

“I’m in the bathroom,” you texted back, smiling to yourself,”Unless you mean one of your other girlfriends…”

“You’re the only one for me, sweetheart. Come find me.”

Your chewed your bottom lip and sighed, feeling those butterflies pop up in your stomach again. 

So that crush definitely wasn’t dead either. You knew Aegon was just playing, pretending to be your boyfriend like you both agreed to and flirting because that was the only way he knew how to communicate with women. None of it meant anything. 

Right?

And Hel’s words still floated around in your head too:“do not fall in love with him because it will not end well”.

Was it too late for that already? Had you already started falling in love with him or was there still time to reverse everything and give Sihtric an actual chance?

***

The party was in full swing by the time you got back outside, Helaena was dancing her ass off on the dance floor with some guys you didn’t recognize. Jace was chilling on a floaty unicorn in the pool and you even spotted Aemond by the bar, dressed in all black as always and filling up his drink while hiding behind his sunglasses even though the sun had gone down a while ago.

Sihtric was talking to some of his friends by the barbecue and much to your surprise you caught his eye almost instantly and he gave you a little wave and a smile. You waved back but didn’t walk up to him, instead you kept looking around until you saw him. 

Aegon, walking up to you with a happy little smile on his lips. His hair was messy and curly and he was wearing light blue jeans, sneakers and a black t shirt. He looked so good for someone who wasn’t your type at all. You couldn’t look away from him and he didn’t seem to be able to look away from you either, not breaking eye contact once until he was standing right in front of you.

“Hey,” you smiled.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he teased, placing one hand on your hip and leaning in to place a lingering kiss on your cheek. You leaned into it and placed your hands on his stomach. It seemed to encourage him because he cupped your cheek and kissed you again, on the lips this time. It was soft and sweet and you fucking melted.

Aegon smiled into the kiss and you slipped your tongue into his mouth, unable to hold yourself back. He didn’t hesitate to reciprocate, kissing you deeper and digging his fingers into your hips as he pulled you closer.

You leaned back too soon for his liking and his mouth chased yours, pulling you into another kiss. You didn’t need to be persuaded, you kissed him back just as eagerly.

There was nothing wrong with playing the game, right? After all he was supposed to be your boyfriend and you were just acting your part. 

Eventually you leaned back again and this time he let you.

“You missed me, huh?” he teased, his smile soft and his hands still resting on your waist.

“Like a hole in the head,” you teased him right back, making him laugh again.

“Shall I get us some drinks?” he suggested.

“Good plan, yeah,” you stepped back from him, relieved to be able to put some distance between you two. 

You could so easily get addicted to his kisses, and his hands, his gorgeous blue eyes. Fuck, you could get addicted to all of him. Maybe you already were but you were just too stubborn to admit that.

“Lady Y/N?”

You turned around to find Sihtric standing right in front of you.

“May I steal you away from your boyfriend for that dance?” he asked, a sweet smile on his face as he reached out his hand to you.

This was a dream and not real life, it must be. Just a month ago you were all alone and ready to give up on men altogether and now these two gorgeous guys were practically begging for your attention? This couldn’t be real, things like that didn't just happen to you.

But when you placed your hand in Sihtric's it felt very real.

He guided you to the dance floor and you followed him eagerly. 

Maybe giving into him would help break this spell Aegon seemed to have put you under, it sure couldn’t hurt.

The song was slow and Sihtric didn’t hesitate to place both hands on your waist, carefully pulling you closer to him but waiting for you to close the final distance. You wrapped both arms around his shoulders, gazing up into his eyes for a moment and finding him staring right back at you, and straight into your soul. 

His eyes were intense and when his lips curled up into the tiniest of smiles you looked away with a smile of your own. 

Sihtric pulled you closer and you leaned into him, giving into the warmth and comfort his body was offering you. He hugged you tighter, you hugged him back, he gently nuzzled into your hair, you moved your fingers into his neck caressing his skin. When his lips brushed against your cheek, obviously very much on purpose, you shamelessly leaned into it.

It felt good to hold him and be held by him, his undivided attention and playful touches felt even better.

He didn’t speak for the longest time but just danced with you, letting you get comfortable with him and helping you relax in his arms. His one hand carefully moved up from your waist to your back and underneath your top, tracing patterns on your exposed skin. His fingers featherlight and leaving goosebumps in their path. His forehead rested against yours, locking eyes with you again and not looking away this time.

Every caress from him was slowly starting to erase Aegon from your mind. 

When Aegon returned with your drinks that’s where he found you, wrapped up in Sihtric’s arms. His jaw clenched at the sight and he quickly turned around, not wanting to look at you both any longer than necessary. For a moment he wasn’t sure what to do with himself and he just froze. He took a long sip from his drink, and then another one until the glass was empty. Then he put your drink down on the table and returned to the house and as far away from the dance floor as he could.

Helaena had witnessed the whole thing and closed her eyes in a deep sigh.

Dancing with Sihtric felt surreal, you’d dreamt about this so often but you never imagined it might actually happen. And you definitely never imagined him being so flirty and sweet with you. You could feel his warm breath on your cheek, his lips inching closer to yours and for a moment you actually thought he was going to kiss you.

He pulled back at the last moment and just continued dancing with you.

“Sorry,” he then whispered,”I didn’t mean to overstep.”

“It’s okay, you didn’t,” you reassured him.

“I know you and Aegon are…”

“Oh, right,” you realized,”And you and Skade of course.”

He just smiled,”Me and Skade aren’t exclusive.”

“Oh.”

“She’s…um…a bit of a free spirit.”

You couldn’t help but smile at his choice of words.

“Anyway, I should let you get back to your boyfriend,” he moved back but not before taking your hand and looking into your eyes one last time,”If things don’t work out between you and him…or if you two are not as exclusive as I think you are…give me a call. We can still do that double date, or…I could just take you out on a date.”

And then he walked away from you, leaving you completely baffled.

You jumped when Helaena put her hand on your shoulder.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you,” she grinned,”What was that?”

“You watched that happen, right? That wasn’t all just in my head?”

“Oh, no, it happened, he was shamelessly flirting his ass off. I thought he was going to kiss you!”

“So did I…fuck,” you sighed, biting your lip while fighting a smile and feeling your cheeks heat up.

“He wants you, babe, that was so obvious for everyone to see,” Helaena teased with a huge smile on her face,”If you ask me he’s liked you all along and seeing you with Aegon just gave him that little push he needed to pursue it.”

Helaena’s words made your smile fade and your eyes met hers,”Shit, where’s Aegon?”

[sweatervest-obsessed]

In Your Dreams, Whatever They Be - Part 1

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Reader (uses she/her pronouns)

WC: 11,223

TW: Alcohol, violence, stabbing, boats, spiders, sarcasm, jealousy, trauma, trauma bonding, blood (and lots of it), nightmares, Vecna, mentions of death, smoochy kisses, mentions and flashes of past traumas, Billy Hargrove gets mentioned, brief allusion to second base, graphic descriptions of violence, graphic descriptions in general. If I'm missing any please please please tell me and I will happily add them!

A/N: So this was supposed to be a quick and easy 4k one shot, and now I'm in a two parter, rewatching the series to try and make it as accurate as I can be. I forgot how himbo Steve really is. It takes place starting with s4 e5, and it goes to s4 e7 or 8, I don't remember. This is based off of my favorite song of all time, and the fact that they used it in this show makes me so unbelievable happy. I hope y'all enjoy this one! any and all constructive criticism is welcomed and wanted!!!

Part 2

“What’s going on in there?” Steve gently rapped on your head with his knuckles, “hello? Anyone home?” 

He watched as your eyes shifted back into focus, looking at him. 

“It’s nothing Steve.” 

“Yea and I’m the queen of England.” 

“No need for the attitude,” You grumbled, sitting up, attempting to get off the boys bed before 

this turned into a full blown thing with interrogations and prodding in places you didn’t want Steve to see at the moment.

He softly said your name, grabbing your wrist and rubbing his thumb over it. “Will you please talk to me?” 

Your eyes fluttered closed at the contact. A soft inhale and exhale to remind yourself to calm the tears before giving Steve a smile. 

“I’m seriously okay Steve. If it was something that was actually worth anything, you’d be the first person I told.” 

He contemplated your answer, studying the way you wouldn’t look at him. “Pinky promise?” 

You looked over at the clock on his night stand before jumping up and dusting off the proverbial dirt from your thighs. 

“Actually, I, um, I have to go—Steve. Um. I’ll see you later!” You quickly grabbed your bag off the ground of his bedroom floor and quickly made your escape down the stairs and out the front door. 

Steve flinched as it slammed shut and sat there, pinky still outstretched wondering what the actual fuck just happened. You never ever ditched him like that, let alone ignored a pinky promise. 

You, on the other hand, were suffocating. The room had suddenly become too suffocating and Steve—sweet, lovely, kind, perfect Steve immediately noticed, and you just couldn’t let him go poking where he didn't need to be. 

Your headaches had started to come back, but it was nothing new considering your period was about to start anyways. And the last thing you wanted to do was make Steve all worried about some stupid little headache—

“Oh for fucks sake.” You grumbled again before turning right back around on the porch and storming back into his house again. 

Steve had just made it down the stairs when he collided with you in the hall, the door slamming shut a second time. 

“What are you doing—-“ 

“We made that stupid Fucking New Year’s resolution for a year of no poor communication. So. I’ve been having headaches.” 

“…..headaches?” 

You nodded and ran a hand through your hair. 

“Yeah.” You whisper, now suddenly feeling a lot less confident about the situation. 

Steve was silent, his mind racing a million miles an hour. Out of all the people in the world, he absolutely downright refused to let you become the next mangled body. He had seen Eddie’s face when he relieved what Chrissy had gone through, and he had seen Nancy after they had discovered Fred; for fucks sake he was there when Max was levitating in the cemetery. He couldn’t lose you. He seriously couldn’t lose you. Because he didn’t know what he’d do with himself if you weren’t with him. He’d loose his fucking mind—that’s what he would do. He’s become some crazy old man like Murray or—-

“Steve.” You took his hand in yours and narrowed your eyes. “Are you listening to me?” 

Steve shook his head and squeezed your hand. “I said, I usually get them the week before my period, and they’re right on time. But with the whole….” 

Steve nodded and looked at your hands together, eyeing the ring you wore on your pinky finger—a pinky promise to him that you always wear.  

“But.” You yanked his hand a little bit to make him focus back up on your face. “Because of everything going on I just didn’t want you to freak the fuck out. But that’s what’s been on my mind.” 

Steve let out a shaky breath. “Yeah…yeah okay I just…” 

“I know.” Even when you could potentially be in true, real danger, you managed to stay level headed, or at least put up a really good front; it’s what Steve admired most about you, and simultaneously loathed about you. 

“I know everyone is at the Wheeler's house but do you want to make them come over here?” 

Steve squeezed your hand in response to your question, his voice still gone. Somehow snatched away with the rest of his mind from the moment he realized you could be taken from him. 

“Okay, do you want me to call them?” 

Steve was a very physical person. He showed his love through actions—getting an eyelash off your nose, buying your favorite flowers, and so forth. But he truly showed his appreciation for someone through small touches; a hand on a shoulder, the squeeze of a hand. But when Steve pulled you into a hug, you were a little surprised. He may love small actions of touch, he rarely was one to give hugs or full body contact, even to someone he has loved for a long time. The boy was getting more and more self conscious ever since the Fall of King Steve and the Bullshit of Nancy Wheeler. 

“Steve I promise I’m okay I promise.” 

“But what if it’s not just any headaches…” he whispered into your hair, tightly holding onto you, terrified to let you go. 

“The second I start getting psycho visions or freaky nightmares, you’ll know okay?”

“Y-yeah.” He sighed, just holding onto you for a bit longer. You rested your head on his shoulder, forehead against his neck, and slowly started to sway with him, trying to drag his mind away from the pit he was dragging himself into. 

He complied, still drowning in ‘what-if’s’. He listened as you started to softly mumble a song to yourself as the two of you stood in the foyer of the Harrington Household, sunset peaking through the windows. 

“Stars shining bright above you, Night breezes seem to whisper I love you, birds singing in the sycamore tree, dream a little dream of me.”

Steve focused on the sound of your breathing, the beating of your heart, the low hum of your voice. 

“Say nighty-night and kiss me, just hold me right and tell me, you’ll miss me”

“I should be comforting you.” He grumbled, as you continued to sing and sway. 

“While I’m alone and blue as can be, dream a little dream of me.”

“What’s the name of the artist again?” He whispered 

You stopped short and looked up at him, taking only half a step back knowing Steve might lose his shit if you stopped being in direct contact with him. 

“Steven Harrington this is only my favorite song of all time, and you don’t know which version I like the most?! Jesus, you’d think my person would know that.” 

“Okay but that doesn’t answer my question.”  His heart fluttered a little bit when you called him your person. 

“You’re a pain in the ass.” 

Just as Steve went to sass you back, the phone rang, making him jump. Steve stared at it while you were looking at him, watching him flinch every time it rang. “You gonna answer it, or just stare at it.” 

“Well….”

“Steve.”

“I’d really rather not.” 

“It could be important, Stevie.” 

His insides started melting as you called him that. “I really don’t want to.” 

The phone stopped ringing and he smiled cheekily at you before taking your hand and bringing you out towards the patio, sliding the doors open with ease. 

“What are you…” 

“I want to keep dancing with you without any distractions.” 

You blush a bit and shake your head. 

“Okay hot shot. Show me your moves then.” 

“Only if you promise to keep singing.” 

The both of you stepped out onto the patio and closed the sliding doors behind you. He brought you around the pool to the small yard behind it, offering his hand once more. 

“You, Steve Harrington, are something else.” 

He slid his arm around your waist and took your hand in his. “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” He whispered, kissing your head.  

“Depends.” 

“On what.” 

“Stars fading but I linger on dear.” 

You shrugged. And started swaying again, resting your head on his collarbone. 

“Still craving your kiss.” 

“Oh you crave my kiss huh?” 

You rolled your eyes and continued singing, smiling up at him. 

“I’m longing to linger till dawn dear, just craving this.” 

Steve cheekily kissed your jaw, causing you to smile and squeeze his hand. 

What the two of you missed was the consistent ringing of the Harrington Household phone, that stopped ringing after the fourth or fifth attempt. 

“Sweet dreams, till sunbeams find you. Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you. But in your dreams, whatever they be, dream a little dream of me.” 

Steve took the opportunity to spin you around, interrupting your singing. Your laugh was music to his ears, besides the actual singing you were blessing him with. 

“Stars fading, but I linger on dear, still craving your kiss.” 

Steve leaned down and kissed you softly, interrupting your song. You smiled and kissed him back, tasting your cherry chapstick on his lips. 

“You stole my chapstick, I knew it.” You mumbled before swiping your tongue against his bottom lip. 

“Nuh, uh.” He whispered back, moving his hand to your jaw, pulling you a little closer to him. 

You were interrupted by the screaming of Steve’s name and the pounding on the front door. 

The both of you jumped apart, hearts pounding. You looked at Steve while he turned and looked towards the inside of his house. 

The both of you heard the strings of curses from a small army when nobody answered the door, followed by yells about where he kept the spare key, and why was it locked because it was never locked Steve let go of you, much to both of your dismays, before moving towards the slider, only to be interrupted by a “are you SERIOUS Hanginton?” 

Dustin’s head had popped over the fence near the edge of the woods, scaring the shit out of both of you. 

“What the hell Henderson!” You yelled, stumbling back into a chair. Your heel caught on the side, and the metal left a little gash on the top of your foot as you fell into the lounger, the definition of ungraceful. You let out a yelp as you collapsed 

“Shit, Shit, are you okay??” Henderson yelled, attempting to jump over the fence, and only failing slightly. 

Steve rushed over to your side, panicking since the last time there was blood near his pool, well….

You were examining the gash, taping it lightly and flinching at the sting. But then you saw Steve and immediately switched gears into calming Steve down, completely ignoring the blood dripping down your foot. 

“Steve. Hey.” You put your hand on his shoulder but Steve was freaking out. His eyes were wide, and his breathing was erratic. “Handsome, look at me.” You whispered to him, taking his jaw, aware of your audience. 

You loved touching Steve, and he loved touching you, in every way each other's minds could think of, but the two of you tried really hard to not be super all over each other in front of the others. It wasn’t that you were hiding your relationship per se, you both were just private people when it came to your relationship. You were both taking it slow, wanting to make sure everything was just right, earning trust and figuring out one another without the influence and nosiness of your beloved friends. They knew you had at least kissed a couple of times, and were official enough to hold hands in public, but what they didn’t know was that you had been dating each other for over a year now. In fact, you were sure this was it for you—your endgame. You felt such an all consuming love for him, and he knew it too. He was terrified of the ways you would go to bat for him, which is why the sight of your blood near his pool sent him into a slight panic attack. But your touch sent a little shock through his system and he looked up at you, eyes wide and a little manic, lips parted. 

“I’m okay. We’ll just get a bandaid or tw—“ 

The next minute unfolded to be one of the most overwhelming both you and Steve had experienced. First, Henderson had finally scaled the fence and fell over it with a thud and a loud yell. Then, Nancy shoved open the sliding doors, which meant the rest of the kids, and Robin were probably in tow. Dusting had managed to run over to you and started to freak out about your foot, panicking outwardly like Steve was panicking inwardly. 

Nancy finally made it over to the both of you, but only looked at Steve.

“Steve? What the fuck! Where the hell have you been? Y/n wasn’t answering her phone and so Max and Lucas went over to her house—“

“Nance…” 

“and her mom said she was at work but she hasn’t been at work because I was just there and she didn’t take over for me and——“

“Nancy.”

You squeezed his hand. 

“And then you weren’t answering your phone and we called so many ti—“

“Holy shit what the fuck happened to your foot!?” And there was Robin, kindly interrupting Nancy’s ramble. 

Nancy whipped around and looked down at your now slightly blood soaked foot. It was seriously nowhere near as bad as it looked, but because you had been free bleeding trying to help Steve and then everyone burst into the backyard, your foot looked worse than it was. 

“Oh my god!” She squeaked out, thinking back to Barb, and looked at Steve. She noticed his panic and decided it was her responsibility to fix it. 

“Hey Steve?” Nancy knelt down next to him, which made you inhale sharply. Nancy had been….well. Ever since Jonathan had moved to California, she was a bit all over the place, and everyone knew it, including Nancy. Her emotions were running wild, and she had been eyeing Steve again. You were far from jealous, knowing how much Steve loved you since he reminded you over and over and over again. But there was something about the way she was eyeing him, the way she reached out to him, that made your trust waiver—not in Steve, Never in Steve, but maybe in Nancy. 

Steve caught the tail end of your inhale, and looked up at you, his eyes still not focusing a hundred percent but he was trying for you. 

“Can you go get some bandages for my foot Nance?” You asked, squeezing Steve’s hand again, trying to ground him while also trying to politely tell Nancy to back the fuck up. You looked over at her and gave her a smile, as if to say that you got the whole Steve situation under control. 

She eyed your hands before nodding, and heading off into the house. As she had walked into the house and up the stairs, Robin corralled all of the kids mumbling that the show was over. Dustin put up a little bit of a fight but Max and Lucas had dragged him inside and closed the sliding doors. All of the teens did their best to pretend to not look out at the couple on the patio, whereas Robin was casually trying to not stare at the two of you through the kitchen window. Everyone was extremely curious about the secretive couple. 

You squeezed his hand again. “Steve. I need  you to listen to me. I’m okay. It’s just a cut on my foot.” Your other hand came up and slowly took his other hand, hinting that he should be next to you on the lounger. 

Steve obliged, mind still far away, panicking to no end, conjuring up the worst endings he could possibly imagine. 

You gently took one of his hands and placed it on one of the pulse points on your neck. 

Robin had snatched Nancy from exiting the house, shushing her as she tried to justify going back onto the patio. And even if she managed to get through Robin, Dustin and the others would not have let her through anyways. 

Robin had shared a look with Dustin, examining the scene before them. Almost no one had ever seen Steve this vulnerable, and actually no one had witnessed the two of you have such an intimate moment together, collectively making everyone in the house question whether or not they knew either of you at all. 

You were taking slow breaths, letting Steve not only feel your pulse beneath his fingers, but also your breath. It caused him to slowly start to match your pace, chest moving slower and hands stopped shaking. His eyes started to focus in on you again, the hint of a grateful smile ghosted across his lips before it fell under a frown of complete self deprecation. 

“Shit, baby I’m so sorry.” He whispered, not moving his hand from your neck quite yet. “I-I just…it reminded me of…”

“I know, I know.” You whispered. “But it’s just a small cut, and I’ll let you give Henderson the talking to of a lifetime, once I know you’re back with me, yeah?” 

Your eyes had been monitoring his, watching for when he was fully back in the present. Steve nodded and placed a quick kiss on your forehead. “Thank you.”

“Anytime, I’m here all week.” You teased, before sighing and looking down at your foot. “It’s definitely not that bad but I do want to clean off my bloody foot.” 

Just then, Nancy made her way back onto the patio, with very upset Dustin trailing behind her. Dustin looked so guilty, and so apologetic, and Nancy looked….upset? Mad? Jealous? Whatever it was, Nancy was doing a good job of making it not as important as fixing up your foot.

“Oh thank you so much Nance.” You smiled at her, only faltering slightly when she only responded by giving you a tight lipped smile,  dropping the first aid kid on the chair, and walking Back inside. 

You and Steve looked at Dustin who just shrugged. Whatever it was would have to wait. 

“So why were you people hunting me down?” 

“There’s been another….” Dustin looked down at his feet, and Steve took one of his hands and put it on the kids shoulder. 

“Okay.” You breathed out, taking the medical kit in your hands and digging through it to find all the necessary things to clean up your little wound. 

“ Y/N, I’m really sorry. I-I didn’t mean to—you know. It was a total accident.” Dustin gushed at you and you just smiled in response to him. 

“It’s all good Dusty Bun.” You joked at him, while the kid tore himself into pieces, feeling fucking awful. 

“Shit happens. It’s okay. It’s not like you snuck back here with the intent to injure me….unless.” You smirked at him, letting Dustin’s cheek turn bright red and he shook his head vigorously. 

“No. No. I would never do that to you—“

“She’s joking Dustin. It’s okay.” Steve tried not to laugh at the poor boy, watching as his face fell into a slightly more comfortable expression. 

“Dustin, can you go and round everyone up in the Living Room, so we can talk about everything?” 

Dustin nodded and started to run off before he stopped and turned towards you again. “Promise you’re okay?” 

“Cross my heart and hope to die, kid. I’m all good.” You took your finger, crossed your heart with it and lifted it in the air. “Steven Harrington as my witness.” 

Dustin cracked a smile before going back inside and trying to round up everyone into the Harrington's living room. 

Once you had properly bandaged your cut, you sighed and cast a quick glance at the patio doors, noticing only Max and Lucas lingering, but still giving you all the privacy they could with a glass door. But Lucas was solely focused on Max, making sure her headphones for her Walkman were sitting just right on her head. 

You turned and kissed Steve, soft lips on his. “Are you okay?” You whispered to him, letting him lead the kiss, giving him the control he needed to regain in that moment before facing the troops. 

Steve gently swept his tongue across your lip, allowing him to deepen the kiss a bit more. He sighed so prettily into your mouth and you couldn’t help but smile. 

“I will be, yea. I just….” You nodded and pulled away from him. Steve glanced over at Max, noticing the headphones and his face fell flat. He had been the one to hold her close when she collapsed outside of Billy’s Grave after floating in the air. And suddenly it was you he was cradling, unconscious. 

“What’s the artist?” 

“What?” You gave him an incredulous look, turned and looking where his gaze was set on Max. “Oh Steve, I don’t think—-“

“Please.” It was so soft, and pleading. Your heart broke as he looked back at you. 

“The Mamas and The Papas.” You said softly, tucking a loose strand of his hair behind his ear.

“Dream a Little Dream of Me, right?” He squeezed your hand once more as you nodded. 

“Alright.” He sighed and kissed your head before getting up. The two of you could rest when you’re dead, you figured. You stood up with him and brought the first aid kit back in with you. 

Once everyone was back in the living room, the rest of the day was a whirlwind. Lucas was telling you about the fact that Carver and his teammates were hunting down Eddie and anyone who tried to help him. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

At some point you found yourself stuck in the back of Nancy’s car. Then, you found yourself stuck in between an argument between a mother and his son about Skull Rock. 

“Yeah well it wasn’t popular until I made it popular, alright?” 

You snorted at that one, while Steve turned towards you, slightly horrified about admitting that in front of you. But you knew King Steve, and it wasn’t like you were unpopular. You were one of those people that managed to fly under the radar by being on everyone’s radar. Nice to everyone simply worked best, especially when it meant you got to kiss and tell without it ruining your life. You smirked at Steve before turning to Dustin. 

“But he’s right though Dustin. It’s over that little hill, on the right, past the two trees.” You slowed down to break the news to Dustin, Max moving to catch up with you, both of you snickering to one another while the rest of the gang looked at you, seriously doubting their knowledge of you at all. 

“Stop gawking Harrington, and move those legs. Let’s roll.” Steve fixed his pace and trudged ahead, eager to prove his best friend wrong. 

You and Max just observed the two. You had been Max’s babysitter since she moved to Hawkins. She was definitely too old for one, but her mother insisted, and she would have much rather spent time with you than with Billy. She was your little sister, your everything, the Dustin to your Steve. You were the one who got her so addicted to Kate Bush in the first place. So when Steve had told you about Max floating into the air, you almost caused several accidents driving from your house to the Wheeler’s, where Max was being kept safe.

 The two of you were giggling about the bickering between the two idiots when you heard Steve and Dustin ahead of you. 

“Bada Bing, Bada Boom, There she is Henderson. Skull Rock, in your face man.” Steve pushed past the both of you, a shit-eating grin on his face. “In your stupid, cocky little face.” 

“It doesn’t make sense.”

“Yeah, Yeah, even when it’s staring you right in the face, you can’t admit it. You just can’t admit that you’re wrong, you little butthead.” Steve smugly stared up at the rock. 

Two boots landed on the ground, right next to Dustin. “I concur. You, Dustin Henderson, are a total butthead.” 

Dustin started jumping up and down before rushing Eddie into a hug. “Jesus, we thought you were a goner.” 

“Yeah, me too man.” Eddie mumbled, looking over at the rest of you wearily. You watched as Steve and Eddie interacted like some sort of divorced parents in the parking lot of a McDonald’s before deciding to ease whatever tension the two of them had going on. 

You smiled and waved at him, “Oh my god, is that the serial killer Edward Eddie “The Freak” Munson, leader of the Hellfire Satanic Club,” 

Max let out a snort, before trying to cover the giggle seeping out of her mouth. 

 “You’re funny there princess, you know that?” 

“Oh I do, Edward. How are you.” You mumbled, patting his back, while you eyed Dustin, who was losing his fucking mind over his compass.

Steve was not the jealous type, or he liked to pretend that he wasn’t. You were a kind person to every single person you met; somehow every single person in the world knew you, and yet nobody had a vendetta against you (to his knowledge) or anything awful to say about you. But it was moments like these, when Eddie called you Princess, or got a little too close, where he would start to tense up. 

“Better now that you’ve brought yourself, and also some food.” He hastily grabbed one of the paper bags from Nancy and grabbed one of the flasks filled with water, drinking almost all of it. 

“When I got to shore, I tried calling you guys but uh, my walkie was busted, man. Drenched. So uh, I did the thing that I do now, apparently. I ran.” A sardonic smile spread across his face, and he shook his head, looking down at his hands. 

“Do you know what time this was, the attack?” 

“No i -i- I know exactly what time it was.” Eddie takes the watch off his wrist and tosses it to Nancy. “My walkie wasn’t the only thing to get soaked.”

“9:27.” 

Robin’s eyes lit up. “Same time our flashlights went kablooey. 

“Which means what exactly?” Steve chimed in.

Nancy sighed, looking down at the watch in her hands before tossing it back to Eddie. “That surge of energy was Vecna attacking Patrick.” 

“Well, we’re one step closer–we know how Vecna attacks.” You mention, watching Dustin pace back and forth. 

“And where he attacks from.” Lucas added on. 

“So now we just need to sneak into his layer in the Upside Down and drive a stake through his heart.” Max sighed, crossing her arms. 

Robin mumbled quickly, “If he even has a heart.”

“A stake is he like a vamp–is he a vampire?” Steve’s eyes widened.

“Oh Steve, babe.” You sighed, pinching your eyes.

“Itt was a metaphor.” Max scoffed in reply to him. 

Eddie looked up from the ground and towards Max. “Uh bullets work on him right?”

“I say we chop his head off.”

“That’s great Lucas.” You muttered, not fully believing this conversation was happening. Steve on the other hand looked at Lucas with a “What the fuck” type of look. 

“Yeah I’d say all of the above, but we can't do any of that until we find a way into the Upside Down.” Nancy sighed. 

“We need El to get her power back.” You nodded in agreement with Max.

“Everything was wayyyy easier. We had this girl, she had super powers–”

“Superpowers, yea, you mentioned her.” Eddie cut off Steve with a nod before peering over at Henderson.  

“Hey uh, Henderson’s not cursed is he?” 

Steve shook his head. “Cursed, no no, he’s fine. Mental? Absolutely.” 

Just then Dustin raised his arms to the sky, turned to Steve and Screamed the word Boom, at the top of his lungs. Everyone flinched at the loud sound, but your head had started to bug you the second you had found SKull Rock, and you weren't one to say anything, but Dustin screaming at the top of his lungs definitely wasn’t helping. 

“Bada. Bada. Boom.”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

And just like that, the day sped up again. Your head continued to bug you all the way to the lake. He had noticed that your head started bugging you halfway through the walk to the shore, holding you hand and quietly whispering the lyrics he remembered from the song earlier, just to you. It made your heart melt a little, just how much he cared for you. It was a bonus that it calmed him down in the process. 

“What is Mordor?” He whispered to you, watching as the shore grew closer. 

You laughed softly and shrugged. “There's this book series called Lord of the Rings.” You answered back to him. “And the heroes leave The Shire to go to Mordor to stop the big bad.”

Steve let out a little ���huh”, and nodded. The little green monster known as jealousy came back full force. Of course you would know what Eddie was talking about. Of course that was something else Eddie had over him. “And you’ve uh, read this series.” 

“Yes Steve. All four books.”

“Did you like them?”

The questions surprised you. It’s not that Steve didn’t like the things you liked, or didn’t care about what you liked, but this was an interest that you simply hadn’t mentioned because it didn’t seem in his wheelhouse. “Ye-Yeah…why do you ask?” 

You looked at him with a curious smile on your face, and Steve shrugged. “I don’t know. If both you and Butthead up there like it then…”

You stopped and kissed Steve on the cheek. “You’re adorable Steve.”

Just then, Dustin sprinted forward, yelling about the fact that something was happening. Eddie managed to save him from stepping into the lake, when Steve ran up ahead. 

“You gotta be shittin’ me.” He huffed and turned and looked back at you, exasperated. 

“Yea. I thought these woods were familiar.” Eddie’s tone was flat, and disparaging. 

“Lover’s Lake.” Robin sighed, staring out at the water. 

“This is confounding.” Dustin muttered, looking back and forth from the water to his compass and back again. 

“There’s a gate in Lover’s Lake?” Max looked over at you. 

Nancy spoke next, “Whenever the Demogorgan attacked, it always left an opening. Maybe Vecna’s the same way.” 

“Yea, only one way to find out.” You grumbled, also not exactly happy to see the lake. 

Eddie pulled back a tarp to reveal a little boat, definitely not big enough to fit all of you. Once Eddie and Steve had gotten the boat in the water, Robin climbed over the two of them. Eddie went next and helped Nancy get into the boat as well as you. All four of you looked at Dustin, who tried to get onto the boat. 

“Hey, Hey, you trying to sink us?” Eddie shoved Dustin's head back a little and shook his own. “The boat holds four people, tops. okay?”

“It’s better this way, okay?” Nancy walked over to try and comfort Dustin.

And you agreed. “You guys stay here with Max.You keep an eye out for trouble.” 

Dustin was flabbergasted. “You keep an eye out for trouble.” 

You gave him a look considering he just snapped at you, but he only continued. 

“It’s my goddamn theory.” 

Robin leaned over. “You heard Nance and Y/N.” 

Dustin just rolled his eyes. “Who put them in charge?” 

“I did.” Robin sassed back, watching as Dustin tried to process everything that was going on. 

“Compass.” Nancy held her hand out as a very, very upset Dustin reluctantly placed the compass in her hand. 

“Hey. There ya go.” Steve threw the backpack at Dustin before pushing off of the shore with the boat, jumping in at the last second. 

“You said Four!” 

Steve whispered a “sorry” to him as the group began to paddle out towards where Patrick died. 

Robin smiled at them, “Bedtime at nine Kiddos.” in which Dustin just flipped her off. Robin just stood up and waved, “Miss you already.” 

You had to bite the inside of your cheek to keep from laughing. 

As you all sat on the boat,slowly paddling through the darkness of Lover’s Lake, when suddenly Nancy yelled out. “Woah Woah Woah, slow down guys, slow down.” 

All of you leaned in and looked at the compass, it was spinning in circles, no actual direction. 

All of the sudden the walkie lit up and spoke: Guys what’s going on. Come on guys, talk to me, what’s going on.

Robin picked up the call, still staring at the spinning dial. 

“Uh Dustin your compass has gone from wonky to Wonky with a capital ‘aah!” 

“Steve, what are you doing?” Nancy’s voice reached your ears, and everyone immediately snapped their heads towards the boy who was starting to undress. 

“Somebody’s gotta go down there and check this thing out.” He pulled off his other shoe and sock. “Unless one of you three can top being a Hawkins High swim co-captain and a certified lifeguard for three years then…It’s gotta be me, no complaints. Alright.” That last section ws slightly more aimed towards you than anyone else, but you just stayed silent. 

“Hey, I’m not complaining. I do not wanna go down there.” Eddie looked around at the water uneasily before taking one of the flashlights wrapping it in one of the plastic bags they had brought. It was better than nothing. 

Steve pulled his shirt off, and that’s when you caught Nancy staring. This time, you were a little more upset at her openly staring at Steve’s half-naked body. Robin looked between you and Nancy and made a little face, deciding to wait to ask any and all questions to you once Steve was gone. 

“Hey.” Eddie handed him the flashlight. “Good luck.” 

Steve nodded. “Thanks.” Before looking at you and giving you a small smile, meant to be an apology. 

Robin pulled a cigarette from out of Eddie's mouth, mumbled a “gross”, and chucked it into Lover’s Lake. 

Steve stared straight ahead psyching himself up. 

“Steve?” You couldn’t help yourself. 

He looked back at you. You had a horrible feeling about this. Yet you held your tongue because there was no way that Steve “The Hero” Harrington was going to risk anyone else’s life, and trying to talk him out of it was like trying to convince the sky to turn purple—it wasn’t going to happen. All you could offer him was something to maybe calm his nerves. 

“Be careful.” 

You all sat there, each of you doing your own thing to not think about the fact that Steve was under the water. 

“Where are we at Wheeler?” Robin asked, bouncing her leg up and down, glancing from Nancy to the water and back again. 

“We’re closing in on a minute.” Nancy responded with a slight air of worry. 

“Come on Steve.” You mumbled, still watching the water. Robin placed a hand on top of yours and gave you a small smile, just trying to provide at least a sense of comfort even though her best friend was down in the depths of Lover’s Lake. 

When Steve popped up, you all jumped. Eddie yelled slightly with an “Oh Christ!” But you immediately reached your hand out to him, which he was more than willing to reach for. 

“I found it.” 

“You found it?” Nancy piped up before Steve smiled, trying to regain his breath. 

“I found it. Yeah I found it.” He smiled, and unlike the rest of this day, the next thirty seconds seemed to go by in slow motion. 

Steve was hanging off the edge of the boat, still trying to regain his breath before he would climb into the boat, still holding onto your hand with his own. 

“Dustin, you’re a goddamn Einstein. Steve found the Gate. It was right where you said it was.” 

Steve was panting. “It was pretty wild. It’s more of a snack-sized gate than a mama gate.” Reference Robin from earlier. “But still, it’s pretty damn big.”

Steve’s head was pulled under the water. All of you moved towards him, trying to get him onto the boat. He resurfaced, a concerned look on his face.

Just as he reached for you, Steve’s face dropped, and he was pulled under. Nance, Robs, and Eddie all yelled out his name, screaming for him to come back. You immediately pulled off the jacket you had been wearing and dove straight into the water, no hesitation. Nancy, Robin, and Eddie then started screaming your name. Your new white converse had been covered in mud and now they were soaked in murky water as you swam for your life to get to Steve. You watched as he was pulled into the gaping portal beneath you. You watched as he was dragged through the water with ease. You swam faster, pushing through the gate not even ten seconds after Steve. 

Your lungs were burning. You fell to the ground with a hard thud, groaning as you tried to ignore the large bruise that would be all along your thigh and shoulder. All of this while trying so desperately to breathe but the air was suffocating. You managed to stand up, and looked around for Steve. Red lightning struck above you both, maybe five hundred feet apart. 

That’s when you heard it, the screeching. Your eyes managed to locate Steve before they were moved to the sky as the creatures started to surround the both of you. You watched as he ran towards something on the ground and picked up an oar, hitting one of the bats that swooped down on him. You ran towards him, picking up a second oar, and started batting, fighting your way to each other. 

Then, you saw Steve get swiped off his feet. A bat around his neck, and two others circling, ready to go in for the kill. Steve kept trying to swipe them off but was starting to fail. He let out a blood curdling scream as his body convulsed on the ground beneath your feet. 

Your blood ran colder than Lovers Lake. You ran towards him, listening as he screamed your name, crying out helplessly for you as they tried to feast on his abdomen and while one was slowly strangling him. 

Anger and panic filled your body up to the brim as you came closer to him. You hit two home runs before you slammed the oar down on one of the bats, eating away at Steve’s stomach, and blood splattered up and across your entire body. You’d be pissed about your clothes if you weren’t already so enraged at the thought of the pain Steve was in. There was blood scattered across your face, and you could taste it on your lips. Dustin might have called you badass if you weren’t so fucking terrifying.

You didn’t notice as Nancy, Robin, and Eddie barged through the portal, and immediately started beating the shit out of all of the remaining bats that tried swooping down on the group of you. 

Instead, you continued bashing in the body of the bat next to Steve. Robin had started watching you, slightly scared of the force you used to bring the oar down onto the bat. But all you could see was Steve. His mouth was open but no sound was coming out as he struggled to breathe, trying to pull the bat's tail away from his neck. You gave it one final blow to the head and watched its body give out beneath you. 

Just as you went to thwack the head of the bat suffocating Steve, something wrapped around your ankle. You dropped to the ground as the bat swiftly pulled you down, bloody oar out of your grasp. 

Robin and Nancy were to take care of the bat that was strangling Steve, Eddie continuing to swing at any bats in the air he could. 

“Nancy behind you!” She turned around and thwacked the bat that came at her before she delivered one final blow, releasing Steve’s throat as it went limp. 

A blood curdling scream left your lips as one of the bat’s bit down into your thigh. All you could see was white and red and all you could feel was white hot pain. The teeth tore through your flesh like butter, and it might have had some sort of venom dripping from its teeth because the exposed flesh felt as if it was melting off your body. 

Steve had managed to rip the bat off of him, and tore it in half with his mouth, willing to tear the bat limb from limb, but then he heard you scream. Steve always assumed he would freeze because in his nightmares he would watch as the dogs tore you limb from limb, or as a demogorgon dragged you into the depths of the upside down, and he would freeze watching as he let you die. 

But not this time. 

His body raced towards you, ignoring the sharp rocks and fuck else that would stick into his bare feet. The adrenaline in his body caused him to pick up the oar you were dragged away from and bash the head in on the bat digging its teeth into your thigh. You were screaming, you were screaming for Steve. His mind clouded with rage as he broke the oar in half and stabbed down, impaling the bat and leaving it stuck to the ground of lovers lake. 

There were tears streaming down your face, as Eddie and Robin helped pull you up and away from the dead animal laying next to you. A sob escaped your lips as you put some weight on your right leg. 

“Jesus Christ, Jesus H. Christ!” Eddie screamed at the sky, still trying to hold you up. 

Steve’s breathing was labored as he stood above the bat’s bloody carcass. He heard another sob escape your lips and immediately snapped his head towards you, but just as he took a second step towards you, the screeching of bats over head caused all of you to look up at the sky. 

“Shit shit shit.” Eddie muttered, looking around trying to find a spot for cover. 

“There’s not that many, we can take them.” Steve huffed, still running purely on adrenaline and spite. 

Another bellow of screeches came from the sky across the barren lake. 

Nancy ran over to you and gently squeezed your shoulder, luckily the one that wasn’t bruised. “We need to find cover. Now. Can you make it if Eddie and Robin help you?” Her eyes search yours, simultaneously checking for your inevitable concussion based off of the way you dropped to the ground earlier. 

You just whispered out Steve’s name, eyes starting to close. 

“Hey. Y/N. Look at me. He’s okay. He’s alive okay? I need you to stay with me for just five more minutes, okay?” Nancy was starting to freak out the more you drifted in and out of consciousness. She turned to look at Steve, who was shutting down on his own, his own adrenaline starting to wear off. 

“Eddie, Do you have Y/N?“ Nancy practically shoved Robin towards him while wrapping your arm around his neck while he supported you. “The more people that help her the better.” 

Steve had reached out to help but Nancy shook her head, “ I need you to focus on finding us Skull Rock, and not collapse while holding her. Got it?” 

Steve stared at Eddie, his frame supporting you, and huffed before nodding. 

Once everyone had secured their position, you all quickly made their way towards Skull Rock, well as quickly as you could possibly be. Eddie spent the whole time whispering how proud he was of you and how badass you looked and how good you were doing while walking, all of the encouragement and little jokes you needed to stay awake and push through the pain to get to get under the rock. While Robin was freaking out about Rabies, which was so extremely helpful of her, thank you robin!

Once you had all taken cover from the bats, you leaned against the wall, just trying to breathe again. That’s when Steve started to lean on the wall, and eventually collapsed to the ground. 

“Steve?” Nancy immediately stood up and made it to him in record time. 

You would have turned bright green if you weren’t starting to pass out on your own. 

“I’m fine. I’m fine.” He grumbled, slowly sliding down to the ground. 

“No no no, you’re losing blood. Shit.” Nancy had ripped her skirt to provide some bandages for Steve. 

“Steve?” You mumbled before, your legs gave out, Eddie managing to catch you. 

“Shit Shit shit.” He started panicking and looking at Robin, who in turn started panicking again. 

“Nancy!” Robin yelped, kneeling down next to you trying to keep you awake. 

Nancy took one look at you and turned back around to Steve who was trying to get up and reach for you. “Steve, I need you to stay still.” She turned back to Eddie and Robin. “You need to rip her jeans!”

 “No no no, hey. Stay with me. I need you to stay awake Y/N.” Robin whispered, squeezing your hand. All she could think about was dying by animal bite, which was so not comforting for any one involved. 

Steve gasped as Nance tightened the bandage. Once it was secured he scrambled over to you. 

“This is going to hurt baby, I’ m so sorry.” He mumbled to you, before gently taking the places where the Bats had broken through and ripped the jeans, creating one short leg. He pulled the bloodied pant leg down, trying to avoid the gushing wound on your leg. As quickly as he could, he tore up your jeans and started using it to wrap up your thigh, causing you to moan in pain anytime he would come near it, which resulted in a string of sorry’s coming from him.

You managed to take a look at Steve, covered in makeshift bandages and Eddie’s vest. If this were any other time, you’d make a quip to only him about how hot he looked but instead all you could do was slur his name and keep your head tilted back against the rock, doing your best not to pass out from the pain. 

“Shhhhh baby it’s okay.” He whispered, as you whined again when he tightened the bandages. 

All you could do was whimper and lean your forehead against the rock. At least it was cool to the touch, providing some relief for you. Your breathing was becoming more and more labored as the minute passed, and all Steve could do was whisper to you as it happened. 

“I cant…” you mumbled to him, the first coherent words besides his name that you uttered since the boat. “I’m so tired.” 

Steve shook his head. He finished tying the bandage before placing one of your hands on his pulse point, and his hand on your own, refusing to let this happen. 

“Fuck. No no no. Y/N hey. I need you to stay awake, pretty girl. Come on.” His voice quickened and his eyes quickly flitted to Eddie and Nancy and Robin. 

“We have to.  We have to go. Now. She can’t.” Steve was trying so hard not to cry, and was barely making it through a full thought before the next one came. “Fuck. How are we.”

“Steve, I don’t know if she–”

Nancy had never been scared of Steve before, but the look he sent her made it clear that whatever thought she had should not be said out loud. 

“We need. To find. A way out.” He said through gritted teeth, listening to your breathing get slower than he’d like. 

You hear him call your name once, and then twice, and then the next four hours of your life are all a blur. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

You awake on Nancy Wheeler's couch in the Upside Down, while Steve is screaming into the abyss at Dustin. 

Your head is pounding and you groggily go to sit up, but immediately get hit with a wave of nausea. As soon as you do make it up you keel over and start coughing, dry heaving really. 

All four heads snapped in your direction, and Steve dropped the Lite Brite on the table, rushing over just as you start to feel the bile in your throat. 

Steve quickly dragged over one of the stupid little trash bins that Mrs Wheeler kept around the house that the Upside Down had magically decided was necessary, and placed it in front of your face before grabbing most of your hair. 

His efficiency was appreciated since you started to vomit into the trash, your head pounding and your throat burning. 

Once you had thrown up everything in your stomach, plus what felt like your actual stomach, you gagged a bit on the air in your throat.  

Steve was rubbing your back and mumbling soft words while you were still hunched over. 

“Morning Princess.” Eddie called from the dining room, and while you didn’t have the energy to give him some choice words, you did have enough energy to flip him off quickly. 

Steve shot him a look but Eddie only let out a chuckle at your antics. Clearly the brink of death suited you well since your sense of humor and your attitude were still intact. 

“Why were you yelling at a lamp?” You eventually managed out, voice hoarse and almost completely gone. Robin had come over with a water bottle they had found in the fridge of the neighbors house. 

“I thought you were gonna die.” She whispered to you, in which Steve turned his glare towards her instead. 

You gratefully took a sip of the water, swallowing it before it immediately was rejected by your stomach, which causes you to vomit it back up into the trash bin. 

You winced at the sting on your throat, and Steve winced because that wasn’t a good sign. 

“Thanks Rob.” You send her a quick, but soft smile. She quickly took your hand and squeezed it, knowing that was all she was going to be able to say without starting to cry. “If you….well. I think I would’ve had to kill Steve because he would've been so unbearable.” 

Which causes you to giggle slightly and nod. “I can see that happening.” 

“Guys!” Nancy yelled over, giving you a very relieved smile, “we’re heading to Eddie’s Van in ten. There's still the kids' bikes at the house still so we can take those.” 

Steve stood up and had a lot to protest but you just pulled his hand, causing him to look at you. “Steve. Really, I’ll be okay. We just need to get out of here.” 

The others dispersed, getting ready to leave, letting you and Steve have a moment to yourselves. 

Steve sat back down next to you and kissed your hand. “I—, you looked so hot beating the shit out of that bat.” He joked, causing you to muse a smile at him. “I know right. Sexiest murderer around.” You jested back.

“You….” Steve swallowed down the lump in his throat and let you see the tears building up in his eyes. “I—“ 

“But I’m all good. I promise. My head still kind of hurts though. Guess we’ll have to play period, concussion, or Vecna.” You tried to joke, but Steve just sent you a glare. 

You sighed, and what you did next was for mostly your benefit, partially for Steve’s benefit, and slightly to piss off Nancy who was pretending like she wasn't watching you both from her kitchen alongside the other two. 

You kissed Steve. It was simple, and quick, but mostly it was reassuring. 

He hummed slightly before letting you pull away. “Even after you ripped a bat to shreds with your mouth, you still taste like my fucking chapstick.” You laughed softly before looking down at your legs. You were no longer in your jeans, but in a pair of Nancy’s shorts. Your leg had been bandaged a lot better, but you knew the second you got back into the real world, you would need to get the disinfection of a lifetime. 

“Does Nance have any alcohol?” 

Steve gave you a look. “I don’t think now is the time to start drinkin–”

Much to Steve’s chagrin, you stood up. A groan left your lips as you put weight on your bed leg. “Hey Nance? Where does your dad keep the good stuff.” 

She looked up at you before running off to go get exactly what you needed. 

“It’s going to numb the pain Steve, and I love you, but right now, I need to not feel my thigh so I can ride a stupid bike over to Eddie’s stupid van.” 

Steve shook his head and stood up. “Look, Y/n,” he sighed. “I really don’t want to fight but–”

“Then don’t, Steve. This is not your call to make right now. Just. I need you to trust me okay?” 

Steve huffed. “Fine.” before he walked off into a different room. 

Nancy slowly came in with a bottle of scotch from her father’s liquor cabinet. “Hey…”

“Shit, Nance. I’m sorry you had to hear that.” you mumbled, sitting back down on the couch. 

She shook her head and sat down next to you, uncorking the bottle and handing it over. “How…How long have you guys been together?” 

You took the bottle, and took a swig, letting the liquid burn your throat. “God this is awful.” You coughed and laughed a bit with Nancy as she cracked a smile. You offered her the bottle and she gladly took a swig. 

“I would also like to know.” Robin piped up, moving and sitting on the floor in front of the both of you. Once Nancy took a swig, she handed it to Robin. 

“Oh, fuck. It’s uh…What is it, March?” The girls nodded and you sighed. “A year, give your take.” 

Both of their jaws dropped. “I’m sorry what!” Robin’s eyes were wide open. “Since when!”

“Since like February of 85 Rob, get it together.” You took the bottle from her and took another swig. 

“Holy shit.” Nancy mumbled, realizing she needed to reevaluate her entire life at this point. “Why didn’t you tell anybody?” 

“Well, we had just started dating, right, and we wanted to take it slow really try not to fuck it up, ya know?” You took another swig before handing it back to Robin. “And we were gonna tell everyone but then Starcourt happened and uh. Getting the shit beat out of you by Russian thugs, and being forced into taking a truth telling serum really makes for complicated relationship updates to your friends. And Steve had just graduated and was really trying to figure his shit out—I don't know. Honestly, it never came up, nobody asked.”

Robin took a swig and shoved the bottle into Nancy’s hands. “Well I thought he was just pining after his best friend, who is waayyyyyy out of his league if I’m being so honest right now.” 

“Thanks Rob.” Steve mused from the doorway, leaning against the side of it while Eddie just stood there, arms crossed. 

“You guys started partying without us I see.” Munson interjected, with a smile on his face. 

Robin turned bright red before shaking her head. “Steve I—”

“Don’t apologize. I mean she is quite literally so out of my league, it’s a miracle she even likes me, let alone loves me.” 

You sent him a wink, while Eddie and Robin passed a look between the two of them. Nancy just took a slightly longer swig of the alcohol. 

“We need to get going.” Nancy mumbled, standing up and walking into the kitchen. 

“Is she okay….” Steve whispered to you, coming and offering you his hand to help you stand up. 

You shook your head. “She’s been going through a lot lately, and I think she’s trying to figure out all of her feelings. She’ll be okay.” 

He kissed your head before looking at the others in the room. "Let's get going then, shall we?" 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your head was throbbing. It felt like it was split open. One moment you're standing with Steve, watching Nancy climb up the rope, the next you're falling through the air. With a sudden thud, you land on the ground, and scream out in pain. Your leg was so fucking sore, and your whole body ached as you stood up.

You look around and realize you're back in the parking lot where the mall was. You see something laying on the ground further away, watching as the vines around you pulsed. Slowly you took step forward and then another before you left out a gasp. There was Billy, lying just how you remembered him, on the ground. His body was covered in vines and a slug slowly started to crawl out of his mouth. You stumbled away from him, trying not to sob, looking around for anything.

Do you remember what you did, y/n?

You look up towards the sky, trying to find where the voice was coming from. Flashes of your last moments next to Billy as he died in your arms while Max watched. 

Or have you already forgotten.

Flashes of Steve’s lips on yours, Max floating in the cemetery. 

When I kill someone...

Another of Max sobbing into your chest, Billy's screams in your ear, Steve’s hands on your body. 

I never forget.

The Mind Flayer stabbed through Billy’s chest. Blood poured out of his mouth as he looked at you.

Suddenly vines started to over take the parking lot, from all sides. You spun around, panicking, trying to find a way out. You ran past a few cars, ignoring the shocks of pain through your system. Once you had run far enough away, you realized that it was no longer the parking lot of Starcourt.

You were suddenly standing on the staircase of the dilapidated old Creel House. A clock ticks, floating by you, as you slowly start to descend, eyes frantically moving back and forth. Your chest was starting to close up.

I see you've been looking for me Y/N. You were so close. So close to the truth. How was old, blind, dumb Victor.

You reached the bottom of the stairs, and spun around slowly, still trying to locate wherever he was.

Did he miss me? I've been meaning to check back in, but I've been busy.

You look to your right, and there's Chrissy's mangled body, vines clutching it. Her jaw was wide open, her eyes were gone, and you could see the snapped bones.

So very busy.

You watched as a door formed in front of you, the Creel House, except it was brand new. You watched as the little girl walked by you, claiming the house was a fairytale.

You stared at the gaunt little boy in the corner of the foyer, eyes dark.

He watched you back, and your whole body shivered. You slowly followed him through the house, watching as he made his way to the bathroom, and took off the grate. You turned away once you realized what he had been holding in his hand, unable to face something you so grotesquely hate. 

Suddenly a boy went past you, and you followed him into the attic. He had created this sort of altar, filled with candles and little jars filled with Black Widows. He was just a child. 

You wandered down the stairs, and watched the boy watch the clock in his foyer. The ticking of the clock rang in your ears, and all you could do was stare at this boy. The anger festered and festered and festered.

A shrill scream caught your attention as you turned around, suddenly in the yard, watching as the young boy caught and tortured a bunny. Its screams rang out as he reached out, not touching the animal, and slowly started to destroy it. Your chest was heaving as you ran back into the house, slamming the door closed, not wanting to see another moment. 

You watched as a crib, covered in fire, rocked itself in the fireplace, infants screaming all round you. The fire lit uo Henry’s face, eyes closed, moving back and forth underneath his lids. 

Suddenly, as you turned around, you heard music. Ella Fitzgerald’s voice rang through the halls. 

Stars shining bright above you. 

You let out a strangled sob. This was your favorite song. The family sitting at the table was formally dressed up. It must have been a special occasion for all of them to have looked so cleaned up for a family dinner. The Radio started moving between stations even though no one was touching it, but Henry was looking at it. 

The lights started to flicker. The radio couldn’t hold down a station. Everyone was suddenly on high alert, trying to figure out what was happening. Your voice was stuck in your throat as you watched the mother float up into the sky, her bones shattering and splintering as her eyes bled. She landed on the table with a thud, causing you to jump back. Vecna has a sliver of blood draining from his nose. You watched as he murdered his sister, and then moved onto his father. Lights flickering. Radio shattering. But then he collapsed on the ground. His father was quickly arrested and blamed for the murders of his wife and daughter. 

You watched as this boy was subjected to the tortures of Dr. Martin Brenner. You watched as he was tattooed, branded, with the mark of 001. 

“See? Not so bad. There’s nothing to be afraid of.” Doctor Brenner said, looking at 001. “Is there Y/N.” His head turned towards you and you took a step back. 

Why Don’t you take a seat.

And you ran, You sprinted as quickly as you could to get away fromBrenner, from Vecna. The hallways were filled with the dead bodies of guards, the screams of the children held hostage, the lights flickering. It was carnage. The blood smeared against the walls caused you to just freeze. You tried to run the other way. You tried to run as far as you could. 

Steve was screaming in your face. He had both of his hands cupping your cheeks begging you to come back to him, to stay with him. His heart was racing. All he could see were your eyes, rolled back into your head, your body just unresponsive. It was his worst nightmare come true. He screamed at the others to hurry up, just shaking you and begging you to come back to him. 

“Please Y/N, fuck. Please, stay with me. Come back to me. I can’t–you need to come back.” 

Erica had run into the other room trying to help the rest of the team speed through all of Eddie’s tapes. “Steve says you need to hurry!” 

“Yeah no shit!” Yelled back Dustin, while Max screamed that they couldn't find anything useful. 

“Seriously what is all this shit.” Robin was just throwing tapes, trying to find the right one. 

“What are you even looking for!?” Eddie yelled back. 

“Madonna, Blondie, Bowie, Beatles. Music We need MUSIC.” She yelled at him. 

“This IS MUSIC!” Eddie screeched back. 

You were running as fast as you could through the damp hallways. The walls were never ending and they were painted in blood, so much blood. You had to maneuver around bodies, all the while looking behind you, trying to out run Vacna. Your eyes were stinging from the air of the Upside Down, and your lungs couldn’t keep up. The exit had been nailed shut, covered in boards. Your panic was setting in as you looked around, trying to find any answer. You kicked and pulled at the boards until one came loose. As you got your hands around the second one, a voice came from behind you. 

Y/N. 

You slowly turned around, shaking. There he was. Vecna was slowly stalking towards you, like a predator watching its prey. 

What are you doing? It’s not time for you to leave. 

You clutched the door handle, praying to whoever out there that would listen to help you. You keep yanking on the wooden plank. Another one came off as you started to yell. The third one was looser but refused to budge. He kept coming closer to you. 

Now that you’ve seen where I’ve been. 

And closer. 

I would like very much to show you where I am going. 

And closer. 

You managed to get the final one off before you shoved through the doors, using all of the will power you had left. But suddenly you were no longer in the hallway, it was the same room you had just been looking into. 

Dr. Brenner stared at you, eyeless. “Take a seat y/n.” 

The lights flickered out, and all you could hear was your breath, terrified to even move.  

When the light’s came on, you realized you were strapped to the table. The straps were pulled so tightly, you were starting to lose feelings in your fingers. You struggled against them, unable to be freed. Vines had wrapped around your legs, chittering away as you started to cry, thrashing around, trying to get out of the chair. They were slowly coming up your arms, getting tighter and tighter. You couldn’t move. Vecna was across from you, stalking towards you once more. You couldn’t get out, you couldn’t move. You couldn’t–You couldn’t even think straight. He kept coming closer, and closer and closer. You tensed up, letting out a whimper as he slowly leaned in. 

I want you to tell Eleven. I want you to tell her everything you see.

His claw came up over your face and flashes of lights filled your minds. Steve dead in your arms. The town cracking and being swallowed whole. The clock tolled. Your friends screaming your name as Vacna took them one by one. Splits in the earth throughout everything you knew and loved. You screamed out, struggling against him. Another clock chime. More death. More Destruction. 

Tell Her. 

“No!” You screamed back at him, tears streaming down your face as you continued to struggle. Max dead in your arms. Lucas laying on the floor in front of you. Robin tore to pieces. Cracks in the earth. The clock tolls again. Vines covering your home. 

Tell Her Everything.

You scream at the top of your lungs as his claw presses against your face. 

You inhale and suddenly stumble back away from Steve’s grasp, tears start to stream down your face, as you collapse to the ground. Steve immediately catches you. 

“Woah woah woah. It’s okay. It’s okay.” He cradles you against his chest, as you struggle to breathe, panting and sobbing. “I’ve got you. It’s okay. I’m here. I’m right here.” 

You stare up into Steve’s eyes, paralyzed, and for the first time, Steve doesn’t know what to do. 

[momoliee]

Here Is Why You Should Read Priest’s Modern Danmeis :

As much as i love priest’s period novels, i absolutely adore her more recent, modern novels even more. You can tell that her writing style has completely changed as she grew and gained more experience, giving an edge to her work. I definitely believe her modern books NEED to be as popular as her wuxia ones cause COME ON?

(i’ve written in depth reviews on my page for each title i mention)

First, my absolute all time favorite, one of my top 3, Mo Du :

I’ve read this series a total of two times so far, and I’m about to read it a third time cause it’s just that good. And here’s the thing, i almost NEVER reread or rewatch stuff ok.

Fei Du is one of the most complex characters that i’ve encountered in my reading experience, with the worst type of mental trauma that i could come across. His relationship with Luo Wenzhou is one of the most enjoyable and perhaps, priest’s best written romance. Theyre both equally flirtatious, equally bold, their back and forth bickering is full of sexual tension and their progression from enemies to lovers is IMPECCABLE.

And the plot? PHENOMENAL. The BEST mystery and thriller detective series that I’ve ever encountered, with each book having it’s own individual mystery, and no two mysteries are similar. From child trafficking to serial killers to drug dens and even terrorism….you name it. Each arc is well crafted, and by the end, you’ll truly be able to sigh in satisfaction. For priest to be able ro make you enjoy both the romance and the plot equally…shes a genius. a 27/10.

Trigger warnings: this book discusses heavy topics such as pedophilia, rape, drug abuse, suicide, self harm, and a lot of similar topics

Next: Can Ci Pin:

Her most underrated work and i cant even begin to understand why. I mean yes it takes place in outer space in a futuristic society where people live for around 200 years across the span of 8 galaxies (not there are no aliens, but there are concepts such as ais and robots) but like….you’ve all read sha po lang with its steampunk theme and you all KNOW just how good priest is at world building. Dare i say, priest is the best danmei author when it comes to world building.

Yes, this is perhaps her slowest and longest piece of work and i get why so many would get bored after the second book. But here’s the thing, ccp has one of the most complicated worlds and plot. the plot is actually one of the most confusing and heavy plots that i’ve encountered. so in order for the story not to fall apart, it was very necessary for priest to spend the first two novels and half world building as well as slowly laying out a proper foundation for the plot. That way, when she starts speeding up the pace, you are basically a pro who doesn’t need to backtrack, reread or double check anything. By the time i was done with the third novel, i felt like i knew everything about space politics, wars between galaxies, Ai and microchips, and everything in between. And that’s saying something cause im an IDIOT when it comes books and shows politics ok.

In this series, priest has seriously invested into every single side character, even those who’ve been dead since before the series even started. With extensive backstories, each and every single character grows on you as much as the main pair if not more, and you fall in love with the found family priest created as well as all the characters who are only talked about in flashbacks and past tense. Another favorite part about this series.

Now the main characters and the romance….chefs kiss. Lu Bixing has one of the BEST character arcs that i’ve come across. He starts off as this bright sunshine boy, goes through hell, becomes this depressed cynical man then finds his way back to his old self again all in the span of the novel itself. Being able to go through the pain with him then watch him heal, makes you very attached to this baby. Li Jingheng my all time cold prince biggest crush ok i love him. Their romance was SOO entertaining cause EVERYONE was rooting for them and everyone played matchmaker and wingman with them it was HILARIOUS. The comedy was top notch, the second hand embarrassment was real, but it made the reading experience feel much more organic idk i just enjoyed myself so much and laughed so hard. 20/10

Trigger warnings: human trafficking and experimentation, self harm and suicide

Third : Lie Huo Jiao Chou

Xuan Ji’s wings of flame are the highlight of the series ok. Almost every single scene has him whipping his wings out just to show off and his boyfriend eats it up everytime ok.

I absolutely love the amnesiac plot line where two past lovers meet again and yet are unable to recognize each other. Yet, slowly, as they spend more and more time together and one of them starts regaining his memories, the pining and longing begins. And oh does Xuan Ji YEARNS in the most beautiful way possible. And once they BOTH regain their memories in full, the angst is just the cherry on top. Being unable to resist each other yet still trying to pull away, the tension, trying to hold back…delicious.

The plot is so easy to keep up with and enjoy too. Both the story taking place 3,000 years ago and the one in present time are equally entertaining, where we see scenes of war and tomb raiding and investigations and a little bit of magic too. The visuals are fantastic, and the contrast between the two parallel settings is new and refreshing as a concept. 8/10

Trigger warning: main characters experience severe child abuse and neglect

Fourth : Guardian

Guardian is the most popular out of priest’s modern novels so i dont feel the need to say much.

Guardian discusses heavy topics such as death and what’s beyond. With an element of mystery where an investigation team search after where dead souls are being stolen to or why some souls are being sucked out of living people, the premises has an element of horror and goth that gives it this edge. Coolest ghost story around.

The main cast is also a hilarious bunch, and you sort of grow attached to the entire office especially a fat black talking cat. 7/10

Trigger warning: death and murder

I hope this is enough to convince you all to check out more and more of pipi’s work. Yes, sha po lang, lord 7, faraway wanderers and fuyao sect are amazing…but if you haven’t read priest’s modern work then yall are missing out ok. that’s it for now xxx

[too-antigonish]

That Thing You Didn’t Talk About, Let Alone Do Back Then #237: Divorce

It seems like quite a few of us have recently rewatched Degüello and it hit each of us in different ways. I was particularly struck by this scene between Thursday and Win where she tells him she’s finally gone so far as to see a solicitor about a divorce….

Of course the divorce never happens and the Thursdays’ marriage makes it all the way through Series 9 and hopefully beyond. It’s easy, though, for people today to underestimate what a huge deal this would have been in the early 70’s. It was a time when divorce was still firmly in the category of “disreputable” in a way that I think is hard to understand for those who didn’t live through that era or who haven’t been exposed to a lot of period media. I’ve had a number of conversations with people who equate it with divorce today and just don’t seem to grasp how shameful and isolating it could be only a few decades back.

That goes doubly so for the 1940’s or 50’s when Morse’s parents would have been divorced. In one of his interviews with D.M. Barcroft, Russ Lewis says of Morse’s parents’ divorce:

“But then – and I can only speak to the early 60s and 70s – so one must multiply that by an order of magnitude for the 40s/early 50s when Cyril and Endeavour’s mum went their separate ways – the social stigma then around divorce was unimaginable. For Endeavour, it would have been whispers in the playground – looks and nods in the street. A certain pursed-lips reserve in the butchers when he went shopping with his mother – as if people feared contagion. Divorce. Unmarried pregnancy. Two sides of the same coin. The fear of being found wanting and becoming an outcast from the tribe. People moved away. They left one part of the country for another to escape the disapproval and stigma.”

Today in Europe and the U.S. divorce is mostly seen as an unfortunate but necessary option. It’s the choice you make when a marriage is irrevocably damaged. That attitude while common, however, is so very recent. Definitely in the 1970s and even well into the 80s, it’s not an overstatement to say that divorce was often a literally terrifying prospect for people. Why?

Religious: 

Marriage is sacred: It was still the subject of strong religious taboos in many places. Marriage had long been seen as a sacrament—an agreement not just between you and your partner but with God as well. There were no take-backs, no do-overs. Divorce wasn’t just ending a broken relationship. It was selfishly putting your own personal desires above a sacred vow to God. 

Because marriage is always good, you must be bad: And in a moral catch-22—because marriage was just always so sacred and good—whatever unsolvable problem you were dealing with must really be because of you. It must be because you…lusted after someone else…Because you couldn’t be a good enough wife to keep your husband’s eyes from roaming…Because you weren’t a patient enough husband to “put up”  with your wife’s constant abuse... Somehow, it had to be your fault. 

Cultural:

Divorce is always selfish: Culturally, divorce was often regarded not with compassion but with contempt. It was seen as a fundamentally self-centered act. And that’s without even getting into the issue of “the children.” 

The Children: At the time, children were pretty much always regarded as irreparably emotionally damaged by divorce and sometimes even seen as tainted morally by their parents’ actions. This was seen as outweighing any damage caused by parents in an abusive or toxic marriage.

Legal:

Advent of no-fault: While the social stigma of divorce to a certain degree stemmed from the religious stigma (divorced people were seen as somewhat wicked for the “sin” of divorce), much of the taint stemmed from the process itself. There was no such thing as completely “no fault” divorce until remarkably recently. From my quick-and-dirty research: The first U.S. state to have no-fault was California in 1970. New York became the last state in 2010. The UK started to allow no-fault (but only after 2-5 year periods of separation) in 1969 but only waived extended waiting periods in 2020.

Prior to no-fault: Prior to no-fault, however, divorce essentially meant that at least one spouse had to accuse the other of an offense (a “fault”). The acceptable list of offenses in most western countries included a grab-bag of morally-loaded “grounds” such as desertion, cruelty, insanity, adultery, homosexuality, drunkenness, etc. 

Public declaration: Typically the parties involved were required by law to proclaim their accusations in a very public manner—often both in court and via publication of the information as a legal notice in local newspapers. And finally, for the divorce to “go through,” someone had to essentially be found guilty of said offense. 

Social:

Everybody knows: In practical terms, this meant that your neighbors—or the parents of your children’s friends—or your boss—all of them knew that your husband had left you for someone else or that your wife had a drinking problem or whatever else you or your spouse had decided to tell the court.

An example: My grandmother’s parents divorced in the 1940s in the U.S.—an era where divorce was very rare. It was highly traumatic for my grandmother—especially when the local newspaper had to publish the legal notice and mixed up which spouse had “deserted” the other. She and her mother were no longer seen as acceptable company for many of their neighbors. Many of the parents of my grandmother’s friends would no longer allow their children to associate with her. She lived well into her 90s and even then would still occasionally talk about the experience.

Economic:

Many women had no money or skills: None of that even begins to touch on what the economic implications of divorce used to be. These were usually couples where the wife had either never been employed or had only been employed briefly before marriage. She would rarely have marketable skills and even if she did, any options for childcare while she worked would be limited—unless she had family or friends willing to pitch in for free. Divorce—especially prior to the 1980s—almost always meant a life of struggle—if not a life in out and out poverty—for the women and children involved.

There is of course more, but I’ll stop there. Needless to say, Win and Fred divorcing would have been a very big deal. Morse’s parents divorcing when he was a child would have been a very, very big deal.

I always though it was unfortunate that the only time they really touched on the topic of divorce with Morse was in Scherzo—and then in a fairly superficial way. It would have been a hugely significant part of his childhood and a major influence on the man he became.

[panelshowsource]

Hello! I know this is a bit weird but I’ve been watching a lot of old mock the week reruns lately and have discovered chris addison, would you happen to have any recs for things he’s done? Thanks so much!

haha aww not weird at all! we love chris!!!

he's done sooooo much over the years so i'll try and narrow it down to some of my very fave things!

he is one of the stars of arguably the greatest tv series of all time, the thick of it, and one of the best spin-off features of all time, in the loop, both of which i cannot recommend enough to literally every person who breathes within AT LEAST an 80-foot range of me. britcom writing icon simon blackwell of the thick of it and peep show fame has worked with chris many times since, including co-creating the sky series trying again (which you can watch here) as well as the recent fx series breeders :)

he's really great on have i got news for you, which he's done many times (his most famous ep is probably this one hosted by tom baker), but personally i love him on qi!! my fave of his is series h episode 7

chris hosted his own comedy series show & tell in 2011 where guests brought items and stories to present, very cute stuff (because of this ask i'm about to rewatch s01e04, you will understand why (WHY ARE THEY ALL SO TINY!!))

you'll most certainly want to watch his as yet untitled

he did a few episodes of underrated dave panel show argumental, my fave of his is probably s03e01 it's so stupid lmao

ugh i know i wouldn't be staying true to myself and my brand if i didn't mention he was on a very good episode of catsdown

ALSO HE WAS IN DOCTOR WHO!!!!!! series 8 icon

there's a lot more ofc 😭 but i hope that's enough to kick off ur new obsession 🥹🥹🫶

[buckingham-ashtray]

SHERLOCK DID CHOOSE THE RIGHT PILL. STEVEN SAID SO

After rewatching ASIP again today, I think I might have finally discovered the truth about if Sherlock has chosen the correct pill.

The answer is YES.

I will save you time and tell you right here right now that the truth lies simply in how certain shots were particularly framed. However, if you do wish to discover the Why, then here is the other end of the handcuffs, be my most welcomed guest.

Let me start with a notice that I am as well aware as I can be that A LOT of people have already analyzed this mystery countless times from every possible angle. And while I remain confident in “The Princess Bride Theory” and am sure it's still the most possible solution (given the impossible odds), it might not be the case in Sherlock's situation. Here are two possibilities:

According to Mr Cabbie (Jefferson Hope), Sherlock's "fan" / his sponsor (later revealed to be Moriarty) has warned him about Sherlock in advance:

SHERLOCK: How did you find me?

JEFF: Oh, I recognised yer, soon as I saw you chasing my cab. Sherlock ’olmes! I was warned about you. I’ve been on your website, too. Brilliant stuff! Loved it!

SHERLOCK: Who warned you about me?

JEFF: Just someone out there who’s noticed you.

Now, Mr Cabbie’s kids get money every time their dad murders someone, yes, but since Moriarty has particularly warned Hope about Sherlock instead of warning him OFF Sherlock, it could be possible that the pay would be higher if Hope succeeds in murdering Sherlock. (But also given that Moriarty was much more interested in making Sherlock dance rather than killing him, this assumption is very likely wrong)

The second possibility is that could it be for both types of pills to be harmless to Hope (with his aneurysm), and only one of them deadly to the victims? (This hypothesis is also very unlikely, due to the fact that Hope did not have a real gun and was unlikely capable of strangling full-grown adults to death with his hands if they’ve actually chosen the harmless pill)

Thus, in this meta we are temporarily abandoning The Princess Bride Theory, assuming that there actually were a good pill and a bad pill for Hope as well, and focus entirely on the framing.

[I watched Ben’s new TV series ERIC a month ago and was astonished to realize that I was able to pick up on hidden messages so rapidly during the show. (Really recommend it! And if you’re into interpreting intricate movies as well, definitely watch The Power of the Dog too! I like it so much I am currently reading the novel.) A huge thanks to all you clever clever TJLCers, for that if it wasn’t for you and TJLC I would never have developed this ability at all to write this short meta.]

The key idea is to constantly ask yourself “Why?”. Why is this shot framed that way? Why did that light go out first? Why is this seemingly unimportant detail included here? Why did this dialogue happen?

Why did Steven Moffat write in the script that Hope chose the building on the right?

If there’s one thing I know for certain, it is that NOTHING in BBC Sherlock is there without a reason. So, why was the right building the “right” one, instead of the left? Does it parallel how the two bottles of pills were placed on the table? If we make the assumption that Right is correct and Left is wrong, is there any other evidence to support it?

YES.

1. The pills

WHY is it that EVERY TIME the two pill bottles were given close up shots side by side, it was ALWAYS the one on Hope’s right in focus?

2. The doors

WHY is it that Sherlock and Hope entered through the right side of the door in the right building, and John ran through the left side of the door in the left/wrong building?

WHY is it that John burst through the right side of the door AFTER Sherlock has chosen the pill on the right?

3. The positions

WHY is it that Sherlock was ALWAYS on the left side of the frame and Hope the right without ANY exceptions?

WHY is it that they switched positions AT ONCE, the moment Sherlock chose the pill on the right? (Also note that Sherlock held his pill in his right hand and Hope his left)

Why Why Why?

If it’s just once or twice, we could still dismiss them as “coincidences”. (What did we say about coincidence?) But this many? Implicated in such platent ways? I was an absolute idiot for not seeing this sooner.

If every single shot implies that right is Right and left is Wrong, Hope slid the pill on the left to Sherlock, and Sherlock chose the one originally on the right, is there any possibility that he chose the wrong one?

NOT. A. CHANCE.

All screencaps taken from here.

(I really wanted to tag someone but sadly I don’t know any of you wonderful people and it feels terribly intrusive and impolite to tag someone you don’t know :( Please definitely let me know if you wish to be tagged and thank you so much for coming to my ted talk.)