#can't get enough of joker's heels

[unfortunately-i-love-it]

yeah so uh, Shadow Joker eh? 

this whole thing started with me thinking about a PhantomThief!Mishima, and then i started drawing stuff based off this one fic i read and then we got to here. oh well 

i might turn this into a comic maybe??? depends on how hard finals slaughter me, but I’ll cross that bridge when i get to it 

also here’s the lore on this guy cuz i legit spent too much mental energy scraping through the wiki figuring out how shadows and personas work and then coming up with a way it could work for joker 

Basically, since someone’s shadow is a manifestation of their distorted desires, then a Shadow Joker, would be the manifestation of the protagonist’s (I’m gonna call him Ren from here on. cool? cool) distorted desires. What might those be? Well, during his awakening, Arsene notes Ren’s strong desire to help people and makes him think about whether the resolve he’s shown in the past was valid or not. This becomes the basis of the rebellious will that allows him to forge a contract with Arsene. But now with Shadow Joker, that desire to help people has been distorted into a kind of mix of hero and savior complex. So instead of just helping people in need, on some subconscious level he has started to see himself as the only one that can help and save people. 

In personality he’s about the same as regular Joker. But that’s only at first glance. He’s much more unpredictable and dangerous, basically taking the whole “wildcard” thing very literally. I’d also like to think that all of Joker’s theatrics become even more emphasized with Shadow Joker.  

For his palace I was thinking of him seeing the whole of Tokyo as his stage, wherein he’s an actor in a play of which he is the hero. For this I was kinda looking to the “The show’s over” on his all out attack screen, as well as hero = play, play = theatre, theatre = stage, and all that jazz. I’m still not exactly sure on how it’d look; maybe just the city as it is at night with open stages everywhere, spotlights floating through the dark nigh sky both as aesthetic as well as acting as traps for the thieves to avoid, so if you step into one of them the security level goes up. Or maybe each area that they go through would be like a different part of a theatre, so the treasure room would be Shadow Joker’s changing room and the final confrontation would be on a grand stage, idk. One thing is though, I think that his Palace Tokyo would feel really empty. Like there’d be people, but they’ll be more like faceless ghosts kinda milling about, so not at all like the ATM-guys or robots in Kaneshira and Okumura’s palaces. Also probably no cognitive versions of the other thieves or anyone else he knows, as I was thinking that Shadow Joker would be going by an “I don’t need anyone but myself” idea, and since he’s the all-powerful hero he doesn’t need “sidekicks”.

His treasure is his Phantom Thieves mask, as that would be the source of his distorted desire to help, cuz it’s the thing that represents him getting his persona and being able to help people on a larger scale in the first place. 

When the other thieves first enter the palace, they won’t be in their thief outfits, as i think Shadow Joker’s desire to help would still outweigh him seeing them as a threat -- plus they’re people he knows. He’d talk and interact with them like regular Joker would, but maybe a bit more openly and with more theatrics, so the other thieves will have some trouble with thinking of him as a legit threat and not just their pal who’s a bit too quirked up. But when Shadow Joker realizes that they’re here to steal his mask, the switch flips completely, and the others have to really scramble to get out with their lives.

Then follows the general infiltration thing and blah blah blah. For the infiltration I thought it’d be neat if they go through all the different districts (that are walkable in-game) and the safe-rooms would be the areas where confidants hang out -- The Untouchable in Shibuya, Crossroads Bar in Shinjuku, Gigolo Arcade in Akihabara, Takemi Medical Clinic in Yongen-Jaya, etc. 

There might also be a progression reason for which the gang will have to go into Shinjuku Academy, wherein the safe-rooms would be Ren’s classroom and the roof. Maybe there’s something in the school that they need to clear before they can progress through Aoyama-Itchome and go to Shibuya, idk.

The treasure room would be in the Leblanc attic (because ofc). 

For the boss battle, when the other thieves try to steal his treasure but get caught on the way out (cuz that’s what always happens to these fools), Shadow Joker takes the mask from them and actually uses it in the battle, which allows him to switch between a number of different personas as a mechanic. Their levels and attack would be comparatively lower that the thieves’, but the sheer number of skills at his disposal as well as his unpredictability would be trouble enough. 

there might also be a phase two, where he rips off the mask he’s wearing and replaces it with his original phantom thieves one, and ends up transforming into a fusion of himself and Arsene, so now he’d be technically using only one persona, but with higher stats 

(also i was entertaining the thought of this being the general theme of the palace and this being the theme of the final confrontation. i feel like the first one’s just kinda eerie enough to suit prowling through your friend’s subconscious)

and then pertaining to the design itself, i was basing it off of the regular Joker outfit but spiced up with more flamboyance, because to Ren, Joker would be like the epitome of him feeling like a hero. I kept the mask on to also keep that Joker vibe going, however i made it a more extravagant variation on the original, to kinda push the theatre vibe. I also gave him a cape -- i think that one’s self-explanatory. The walking stick is to give him even more flair, but also uh, concealed weapons is like the perfect Shadow Joker thing to do. Basically think of Lucious Malfoy’s wand-walking stick but with a dagger instead of a wand.

anyway I want it to be clear for the record that I have never once looked up the shadow joker tag on here before i started drawing this but i’m glad we all share the same braincell when it comes to his outfit, fellas 

(also holy FUCK @waifujuju‘s Shadow Joker design is so fucking clever, i am in awe)

that PhantomThief!Mishima thing is still in the works by the way, though i’ve hit a roadblock trying to come up with a persona for him. So far i’ve been thinking of something along the lines of Merlin but idk, it doesn’t seem rebellious enough so the only thing that fits is the vibes, and even that’s a maybe. this whole process has also been exacerbated by the fact that i’ve got a really cool costume going for him that involves a bolt-action rifle which i am very fond of and very reluctant to let go off. all this to say, if you’ve got any ideas please shoot me a message or write a comment cuz rn my brain is kinda frying itself trying to think through this. ty

[liquid-luck-00]

Red Binding 2

Maribat March Day 2: Signals

@maribat-calendar-events @maribatserver

First *** Next

~~~~~~~~~~

He hated this!

He hated the fact that he woke up, by being dumped into a burning liquid. Hated that he was wrapped and bound so he had to claw himself out. Hated how the water forced itself into his lungs as he tried to break the waters surface.

Why does this all keep happening to him?

He hasn’t seen or even heard Plagg since the cemetery. And now he was coughing up acid green liquid, as every inch of him burned.

Someone charged at him and he attacked on instinct. He was able to take the knife from his attacker, and he stabbed them. He made sure that they couldn’t get back up, but he didn’t kill them. No they were alive, severely wounded, but alive.

Behind you, duck.

He did as he was told and a second assailant flew over him. He never saw them, but trusted Plagg’s words. Once he did have eyes on them, he quickly defeated them.

Step right. Turn.

Again he trusted Plagg’s instructions and a pair of people emerged this time. They continued to fight, Plagg’s warnings and signals aiding him. He wasn’t perfect, as the kick to his ribs, and the blade that dug into his arm, proved, but he was good enough to stay standing.

He fought for what felt like hours, bodies strewn all over the floor, but he hadn’t taken a life. The knife in his hand started to slip, as it did he flicked it back firmly in his palm.

"We must work on your inability to kill, but overall." A woman, the same voice he heard before, stepped out of the shadows. "You have potential."

Jason watched her. She didn’t approach further, she didn’t look like she would attack him, she stood there waiting.

Lazarus. Plagg's normal drawl was replaced with a hissing growl was terrifying it nearly scared him enough that he would have flinched, but he faced the woman. She is an Al Ghul.

"Al Ghul." He whispered, his voice hoarse from coughing up the water, and maybe even from the beating he took from Joker. The woman smiled, an evil glint in her dark brown eyes.

"Now how do you know that name?" She waited for him to answer, but he wasn’t about to tell her. "No matter follow me."The momentary astonishment gone, replaced by nothing.

The woman turned on her heels and started to walk away, a small motion with her hand the only indication she wanted him to follow her. But she’s given him no reason to trust her so he just stared at her not moving an inch. Plagg’s tone still rang in his head, although he’s begging him to say something, he staying quiet. He wishes that Plagg would say some thing, any thing. To give hima signal of whether he could trust this woman, but now he’s quiet. The woman turned around having not heard him follow, quick even steps walked up to him.

"I promise you, you will not die tonight. They have already let you die once, but I was there to help you." Her voice and words were sweet, but they didn't sit well with him.

"That doesn’t mean you won’t kill me." His temper was beginning to flair, his words pointed at her. Jason looked up at her, staring right at her gripping the knife, challenging her. But she did something unexpected, she laughed.

"You are more interesting than I originally thought. You will do well to serve as a shadow."

"Why did you bring me here? Why go through all this trouble? What is this place?" It pissed him off, like she could know what will happen and he can't do anything about it. The woman slightly crouched forward to look at him straight in the eye.

"You are with the league of shadows, I will make you into a shadow that will rival even the Batman himself. I can make it so that no one can hurt you ever again." The woman’s voice was sweet,luring him into a sense of safety, Plagg’s warning still echoed in his mind getting softer, as she placed a light hand on his shoulder. "I can make it so no one can ever abandon you again."

He wants to believe her, her words make total sense, except they don’t.

He was never abandoned, at least not by those he cared enough to let into his life. Bruce didn’t abandon him, he was the one who took him off of the streets. Alfred never abandoned him, in fact when Jason arrived at the manor he made sure that Jason was welcomed. Dick never abandon him either, Dick accepted Jason not only has his little brother, but evenas Robin. They didn’t abandon him, he ran away, he abandoned them. He ran away, and he died, and now this giant separation makes him feel guilty. He knows he survived Joker, Plagg made sure he survived the bomb, after that. But after the bomb, before the coffin he has no memory of anything.

Yet this woman claims she had a hand in it.

"Even if I were to believe you." He spoke up looking past her, to where he knows the exit, to where he can run free himself. "How did I survive all that?" He tried to stall, to make a plan.

He knows it’s a longshot, but it’s one he’s willing to take right now.

The woman sighed and stood back up. "It was a gamble, one that did pay off, it was the waters of the Lazarus pit that were able to heal you, I’m sure you were close to death. The waters making it appear so, that way no one would question the funeral. Yet you were still alive, still healing, and all we had to do was wait."

"So what if the Joker beat up another kid and you would’ve taken them?"

"This is neither the time nor place to discuss this." She grabbed him by the scruff of his shirt collar and started dragging him out of the cave. He dug in his heels, but she was stronger than she looked. "To answer your question, no, you were the target."

He stopped fighting in that moment.

Why me why go after me? Was it for the money, are they after Bruce? No Robin, they went after me as Robin. So they are after Batman?

You need to ask the right questions, kitten. Plagg then decided to start talking once again. If you are where I think you are, you have to be ready to fight like your life depends on it.

But…

No buts. Plagg’s voice absolute in his mind. Learn what you can, and use that to make your escape.

"This will be your room." The woman opened the door, and let him inside. The room is small with a bed tucked into the corner, a dresser was next to it with a single lamp on top of it. "Tomorrow you will meet your teachers, they are the ones responsible for your training, but it will be your own prerogative to stay alive."

The woman promptly closed the door behind her and left on silent steps.

Jason wanted so badly to fall asleep, but question just kept swimming in his mind.

"Plagg, I’m scared." He was barely able to whisper, as tears started to burn his eyes. He’s not sure if it’s because he was just uprooted from the only place he knew, the fact of his death finally catching up to him, or the fact that he knows everyone who cared for him thinks he’s dead.

You have every right to be scared kitten, I get it, this place can kill you if you show emotions, if you show any weaknesses. Plagg floated in front of him, his paws resting on the tip of his nose. This place might not have been ideal, but it might be possible to get you to the order from here.

"Order? Like the one from the story?"

The same one kitten. If there is ever any chance that I can get you there, I'll take it, you just need to follow my signals.

Jason climbed into the bed, sleep already overtaking him. "Plagg, promise me you’ll never leave me alone, that you will help me."

You are my kitten. I'll be here for you.

"I like to know that you’re with me Plagg, I trust you." Jason mumbled, his eyes were already closed and sleep was quickly taking over him.

Plagg curled up next to the boy, every fiber of his being telling him he was doing the right thing. That this child, no his chosen, will live. He will make it through this hellhole and will escape.

"Not even the Supreme themselves can take me away from you." He promised as he watched his kritten fall fitfully into sleep.

Next

~~~~~~~~~~

Permanent Taglist: @jennifer-rose123 @toodaloo-kangaroo @joydone07 @mizzy-pop @starling218 @crystalqueertea

[batmanrogues-scenarios]

Gimmie perfect gifts for and from Rouges. Your choice. I just want to know what would they want to get and what would they love to give xD

Sorry it will be so late but it's too good to not use as Christmas request. But because of that have all the Rogues. Hope this is a fair trade

Gifts for Rogues and from Them.

Riddler

Get

I feel like he never really got anything for Christmas so just getting something will make him happy

In the budget? Mug saving #1 Genius

Yes, he is that easie

Give

First of all he would make it a scavenger hunt

Second, it's gonna be something big

Puts their face on a billboard with their greatest accomplishment

Hacks radios to play their favorite songs

Scarecrow

Get

Won't admit it but Jack Skellington and Sally costumes for both of them

This movie was best thing to happen on Christmas

Give

He doesn't know much about presents so might try to sew them something; maybe little Scarecrow plush

Mad Hatter

Get

Hand made hat or a special tea party

It doesn't have to be expensive it just has to have heart

Give

Would go for Alice costume but this is what he wants not S/O so starts asking around their friends of what Y/N likes

Will give them something related to their favorite series, probably some sort of merch

Penguin

Two-Face

Get

It's gonna be cheesy but Harvey would love to get a tie, Gilda used to give him one in an old fashioned way and he misses it

Harv has plans in bed

Give

Romantic dinner and necklace

Get

This man can have whatever he wants so getting him a present is tricky.

I think something simple and hand made will melt his heart like scarf

Give

Everything. He will get his chick whatever they want.

Black Mask

Get

Probably surprise in bed, if you know what I mean

Give

Similar to Penguin, he can get them everything

Most likely will get them the most beautiful mask, with gems

Mr Freeze

Get

His wife-

Nah, it would be Christmas miracle but he knows to not expect that

Custom-made snowglobe with them all in it, it would make him cry

Give

A big ice sculpture of S/O showing their most beautiful parts

Joker

Get

Batmobile, he will be head over heels to annoy him at Christmas

Give

I can't imagine him giving gifts but might do something with a bang

Explodes some building and there will be fireworks for S/O and he bought some chocolate or scarf

Music Meister

Get

Write him your own song he would be head over heels

Give

100 % will do flash mob for them

Harley Quinn

Get

Hand decorated hammer, she would hit so many stuff!

Give

Would rob a mall and grab everything that is expensive or cute looking giving it to S/O

Poison Ivy

Get

Isn't picky, romantic evening would be enough

Give

Would grow them garden in the room with every color, with a beautiful smell

Catwoman

Get

Pearls or diamonds would be nice

Give

Also probably some jewelry

[twosentencereviews]

Joker 2 will (probably) also be bad

I've gone on record saying Joker (2019) was a badly-conceived film, with ideas that are, at best, inconsistent and muddled.

And now they're making another one. With Lady Gaga as Harley Quinn. Maybe it will be better this time?

...no, probably not. Let me break it down.

So, the entire design philosophy of Joker (2019) from writer/director Todd Phillips was, quote, "we're gonna sneak in a real movie in the guise of a comic book movie". That is, Phillips wanted to make Taxi Driver...but he's only a talented enough filmmaker to make The Hangover at best, and The Hangover Part III at worst, and so Warner Bros only trusted him with an IP that was guaranteed to succeed regardless of quality.

This sucks on two levels. If we judge Joker as a "real film"...it fails utterly, because it's using the visual language of the 1970s to whine about 21st century woes, and even then doesn't have anything to say. The "failed standup act goes viral" plot beat doesn't fit with the media landscape of the 1970s, while the clown rioters echo the "eat the rich, defund the police" sentiment that was brewing in 2019 and would explode with George Floyd's murder in 2020. These things are included because Phillips is the kind of jerk who complains about "woke culture" on Twitter. The only reason Phillips sets the film in the 1970s...is because he's cheating off Scorsese's homework.

But if we judge Joker as a comic book movie, it also sucks, because it completely fails to live up to what makes The Joker so fascinating. See, The Joker is a Batman villain; a standout antagonist against the rogues gallery. You cannot understand The Joker except as a literary foil, as a dark reflection of the Dark Knight. Batman is a solemn, incorruptible force for justice. The Joker is a manic, incorruptible force of destruction. While many of Batman's villains are sympathetic (e.g. Mr Freeze), and others are garden-variety thugs with powers (e.g. Clayface), The Joker is pure. He cannot be reasoned with or negotiated with, he has no agenda beyond causing mayhem, and he has no better nature to appeal to. That charisma, that certainty of purpose, is what makes the Joker such a fun villain. Phillips throws all of that in the garbage--Arthur Fleck is weak-willed, cowardly, and just needs a friend.

And now, in Folie a deux...he's getting one, in the form of Gaga's Harley Quinn.

Now, Harley Quinn is different from the Joker. Harley was introduced in Batman: the Animated Series, voiced by Arleen Sorkin, as a counterpart to Mark Hamill's Joker. Her origin story is that she was Dr. Harlene Quinzel, a psychiatrist at Arkham Asylum, who tried to fix The Joker...only to be pulled in by his madness, taking a new name, costume, and falling head-over-heels for "Mista J", her "puddin'".

This is interesting because while The Joker only really makes sense as a Batman antagonist, Harley only really makes sense in the context of the Joker. Harley's story is one of domestic abuse; she is The Joker's greatest victim, and yet his staunchest ally. She sometimes realizes this and tries to get away, but can't escape his manipulative gravity. This obsessive love, however, is not returned; The Joker's soulmate is Batman, the yin to his yang, his equal and opposite. Nowhere is this more clear than in the iconic Mad Love, where Harley almost kills Batman as a gift to her puddin', only for The Joker to furiously lash out in a "no one kills Batman but me" kind of way.

So while the Joker is fun because he's so unsympathetic, Harley is fun because she is sympathetic. The Joker is fully evil, but Harley is only evil because of her exposure to The Joker; without him in the picture, she's just a manic antihero.

And that's exactly what's happened to her character over time; fan and authorial desire to see Harley achieve independence and escape the cycle of abuse led directly to her more modern portrayals, such as Margot Robbie in Suicide Squad (2016), Birds of Prey, and The Suicide Squad (2021). But even then, she was introduced in Suicide Squad against Jared Leto's Joker, and the start of Birds of Prey is her mourning her breakup with him. Her animated series starts the same way, seeking autonomy and an independent self-identity.

Folie a deux...isn't going to be doing that. It can't. It doesn't work with Arthur Fleck. The whole point of Joker (2019) is that Arthur Fleck is a loser, he's a failed nobody, he is the dregs of society that everyone ignores. His sexual frustration and loneliness form the basis of a major (and idiotic) plot beat with Zazie Beetz. He is a million miles from the "charismaniac" of Hamill or Ledger--there is zero possibility that he could "infect" a brilliant psychiatrist.

To his credit, Phillips realizes this, and is taking a different angle. From the trailer, it looks like Gaga's Harley is going to be a fellow Arkham resident, and she's going to be the one who initiates flirtation with Arthur, in a sort of "love letter to a serial killer" kind of admiration. The trailer leans heavily on the refrain of "what the world needs now is love, sweet love", and overall seems to be framing itself as an honest-to-god romance. Instead of the Joker/Harley relationship being abuser/victim, it looks instead to be toxic enabling, where Harley encourages Arthur to embrace his worst, most destructive instincts.

And...that's probably going to be framed as a good thing. See, if Folie a deux is going to be a romance, then plot constraints demand that there needs to be an obstacle dividing the lovers and preventing their happy union. What obstacle could exist between Arthur and Harley? Why, the entire legal system, of course--we see in the teaser multiple shots of them going up courthouse steps. It's likely that the pair fall in love in Arkham, escape ("let's get out of here", Harley says), are recaptured, and then have to defend themselves in court. This might have a "happy ending" where they win and leave together, affirming that enabling a violent criminal is a good thing. Or it might have a "sad ending" where the court outcome separates them, affirming Arthur's nihilism and anger at a system he perceives as unjust only when it inconveniences him. Either way, Harley is going to be framed as good for Arthur, making him better while making him worse.

Could this be done well? Maybe. It's certainly possible. Canon is already so broken that it's no longer a limitation. A talented director might realize the moral complexity in the relationship between two violent, mentally unstable murderers. One could frame the entire thing as a tragedy, where "boy gets girl back again" is shown to be disastrous (as in The Graduate). Or, it could even be something of an inversion of the more canonical Joker/Harley romance; instead of Harley realizing that she's better off without Mista J, it might be Arthur realizing he is better off without Harley.

But it almost certainly won't be any of that. Because Phillips thinks that Arthur Fleck is relatable. He thinks he's a martyr, a victim of targeted injustice, a doomed hero refusing to bow to societal norms. But he isn't. Arthur Fleck is an entitled white boy who simultaneously sees his suffering as a systemic failing, while also refusing to see how the system harms others, and refusing to see how his own choices make things worse for everyone. Arthur Fleck is an embodiment of denied privilege, where cishet white men expect to be lavished with unearned success, and are butthurt when they don't get it.

And above all, the thing that media has always told men is that a manic pixie dream girl is going to find you and fall madly in love with you despite your obvious failings. That is the heterosexual male romantic fantasy; love without effort, acceptance without labor, companionship without obligation. Todd Phillips might play this straight. Or he might set this up for Arthur, only to deny it as an act of authorial cruelty. But the first film demonstrates that he lacks the self-awareness necessary to actually deconstruct it, to criticize the expectation itself.

So no. I don't think Folie a deux will be better than its prequel. Because for Todd Phillips to make a better movie, he'd have to be a better person. And he's not.

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

More TEXT CONVOS!! (Also I want you to know that you can disregard the drabbles ! I just hope you're doing well and taking care of yourself  💗💗) 💺 anon

🍊) My little (brat) princess

🍊: I hid a bag in our closet. If you find it, do not open it. 🍒: Well now I kinda want to look for it 🍊: Please don't. 🍒: :( 🍊: I'm serious. 🍒: What even is inside? 🍊: It's a surprise.

🍒: About to take a bath, alone 🍒: No one here to wash my hair for me 🍒: Or leave kisses on my neck and shoulder 🍒: Or run their hands down my body 🍒: HOW ARE YOU AT THE FRONT DOOR ALREADY??

🍊: My love for you is like diarrhea 🍊: I can't hold it in 🍒: Am I supposed to say something nice?

🍊: How would you feel if I shaved? 🍒: Please just tell me you didn't 🍊: Well... 🍊: Yeah I was just kidding love 🍊: WHY DID YOU TELL LEMON WE'RE GETTING DIVORCED?

🍒: How much until your cute ass gets home?? 🍊: I'll be there in less than an hour ❤️ 🍒: Prepare yourself because the moment you step in I'm gonna jump in your arms and attack your pretty face with kisses 🍒: I can't wait to cuddle and hear you complain about the mission 🍊: I'm so in love with you

🍊: [1 image attached] 🍒: Screaming, crying, shaking, shitting, pissing, banging my head againts the wall, ripping my hair out, clawing out my heart, slamming my fists on the table 🍒: You look lovely

🍒: Hello my mandarin 🍊: We're not doing this

🍒: I think Tan hates me 🍊: Excuse me? What made you believe that? 🍒: That was meant for Lem 🍊: Why would you tell him you think I hate you? 🍒: Because he's very funny and I love to gossip with him 🍊: I'm funnier than him actually. And that still doesn't answer my question 🍒: You didn't ask me to be your valentine :( 🍊: That's because we've been married for 8 years, I assumed you're already my valentine 🍒: You have to ask :( 🍊: Fine. Will you be my valentine? 🍒: Yes :) [Tan reacted with ❤️]

[Unknown number]: Hello my beautiful wife. I am curently writing this message to apologize and ask for your forgiveness. Please unblock me. Yours, Tangerine. 🍒: ENOUGH

🍋) Silly goofy guy

🍋: How's my favorite person in the world doing? 🍒: What did you do? 🍋: Jumping to conclusions I see 🍒: Lemon what did you do? 🍋: Promise you won't get mad 😆 🍒: I promise 😊😊😊🔪😊😊 🍋: I broke your heels 🍒: ... 🍒: Well did you at least take some photos?? 🍋: You know it 🤪 🍋: [5 images attached]

🍋: Should we play minecraft? I wanna finish our train 🍒: Tan said he doesn't want to :( 🍋: Tell him to mind his business

🍋: I was drinking bubble tea and choked on the balls so I spilled the drink everywhere 🍋: Now Tan won't even look at me

🍋: I've been looking for my gun for 2 hours only to realize I don't have it anymore 🤣🤣🤣🤣💃🥳😆😼😼

🍒: He's my little anal ☺️ 🍒: ANGEL 🍒: ANGEL I MEANT ANGEL 🍋: THE WAY I SCREAMED 🍒: DON'T SHOW THIS TO HIM 🍋: HE'S LOOKING AT ME NOOO 😭😭

🍊🍋🍒) The fruit bowl

🍒: Do you ever just 🍋: Yeah, but 🍋: Yk? 🍒: Damn man I sure do 🍊: Is this why you two created this group chat? 🍋: Actually it's so you can like and subscribe 🤯👽❓ 🍒: But first, a word from our sponsor!! 🍊: I'm so done with you both

🍋: Should I dye my hair? 🍊: Absolutely fucking not 🍒: Pookie no it won't look as good as it does now!! 🍋: Love you guys 🫶 🍋: I already bought the hair dye 🍊: WHY DID YOU EVEN ASK? 🍋: I'm in a silly goofy mood 🍋: So green or blue? 🍊: I will smash your head through a window 🍒: LEM LISTEN TO US!! 🍋: Yo I kinda look like the joker

🍒: [2 images attached, it's photos of Tan and Cherry hugging] 🍒: These look so good! 🍒: Lem best wingman AND photographer 🍋: Fucking finally. It was getting annoying 🍊: Would you stop it already? 🍒: Yeah, it wasn't THAT bad 🍋: [1 image attached, text convo of Tan talking about Cherry to Lem] 🍊: DELTE THST RIGHT FUCKING NOW 🍒: 🤣 🍋: Oh I know you're not laughing Cherry 🍋: [1 image attached, text convo of Cherry gushing about Tan to Lem] 🍒: THAT'S MESSED UP

+ bonus 🍊: Made her laugh today and I can't get it out of my head 🍊: It's driving me nuts 🍊: I must've looked fucking stupid the way I just stared at her 🍋: Talking about her again? 🍊: Who else do I ever talk about you nob 🍋: So did you ask her out? 🍊: What do you think? 🍋: I'm thinking no because you're a pussy 🍊: Fuck off

🍒: Ok so I was talking to him earlier today and he just put his hand on my shoulder and got really close to my face but I feel like he was mostly looking at my lips. Maybe it was just my imagination 🍒: Anyway, does he do this to everyone? 🍋: Girl

hii angel!!! I really do want to be able to write them for you, I’ll keep them in my inbox and will def try to do one of them, but if not, keep them noted down and I’ll get around to them eventually 💓💓

THESE ARE SO FUN!!!?? loved them all, especially..

^ why would he tell us if he doesn’t want us snooping??????

^ lem would be the mediator, trying to rationalise tan not to shave (even if he was messing) he doesn’t want to see his bro with a baby face

^ ALL OF THAT😭😭 and then, you look lovely. I HAVE A PICTURE IN MY HEAD AND I NEED TO ADD IT bc it works well and obviously bc it’s hot 😩😩😩😩😩😩

^ tan would be acting like he doesn’t know lem😭

^😭😭😭😭😭 we just have random half conversations (but we each no exactly what the other is thinking) and it just annoys tan sm. “what did you think about that thing?” “that was so crazy. what did you think about that other thing? not that thing but another thing?” “holy shit man, but did you see?” “RIGHT? and then?” “omg😭”

^ lem got the receipts 😭😭😭😭

^😭😭😭😭 “bc you’re a pussy” and “girl” lmao

[sailing-through-hawkins]

Buckle up Ronance (and general spicy six) fans i wrote this when i was super tired but we got a Superman AU laid out right in front of us ft:

Robin Buckley as the clumsy and rambling reporter starting her new job at the Daily Planet, using her wits, language skills and eager curiosity to scope out a fresh take on Metropolis' pristine coat of futurism hiding its own dark underbelly of corruption and political warfare; not to mention the fact that she is the Superwoman (i usually prefer finding alternatives to using "man" or "woman" in the superhero genre but I can't really think of an alternate to something as basic as Superman so here we are), capable of flight, lazer vision and rescuing pretty woman without so much as a stutter

Nancy Wheeler as the Planet's greatest reporter, her determination and scrutiny all she needs to crack any story wide open, making her quite the target for the rich and famous but she doesn't appreciate this rookie coming in to steal her front-page headline spot; now Superwoman, on the other hand, is the most intriguing person she's ever wanted to investigate right on Metropolis soil

Nancy visits Gotham on occasion to meet her ex-partner and current good friend, Steve "Stevie" Harrington, to catch up during any of his various charity balls or just to give Mike an excuse to hang with Dustin (Steve's first ward, followed by Max, with Lucas and Erica dropping by often enough people don't really think too hard about it)

She does have her suspicions about The Bat running around the shadows of Gotham with Steve's tendency for concussion-inducing accidents but the idea of Steve of all people as a vigilante just feels too far fetched even for her

Of course, Robin does eventually meet Stevie during a story she's chasing on The Bat but the guy is just so airheaded and shameless that she doesn't want to even bother trying to get statement out of him. When she meets The Bat as Superwoman however, they hit it off so well that Robin thinks she may have found a best friend for life. When they eventually reveal their identities, she has to take a minute to reconcile that her platonic soulmate is Stevie Harrington of all people

Jonathan is Nancy's photographer a la Jimmy Olsen, and the dude is just so exhausted all the time from Nancy's running around but he's done a better job keeping up with her than her old partner Fred Benson so Chief insists that they stick together. After Robin showed up, he figured things would be easier with someone else to help wrangle Nancy but Robin just encourages the chaos with her own ambitious methods so he ends up bonding with Stevie of all people over Nancy's head-first running into danger, thank god for Superwoman's timing on that

I also think it'd be funny if Argyle was just a random pizza guy from Gotham who got caught up in a major crime syndicate's grasp and he just...ends up staying at the Harrington Manor after that and nobody in the family even questions it and now he mans the Batcomputer under codename Oracle ("Dustin, you can't just keep giving everything a codename" - "Fucking watch me")

Jargyle meeting at a Harrington charity ball and have a whole doki doki strangers to lovers because they 100% deserve a meet-cute in this AU

Anyways back to Ronance, Nancy falling in love with the snarky and witty Superwoman that always comes when Nancy needs her and Robin panicking because she's realised that she's head over heels for Wheeler and can't do a single thing about it meanwhile Steve teases her about the Wheeler Effect:

"The what?"

"The Wheeler Effect: I used to be in love with Nancy, she and Jonathan used to date, hell even Dustin crushed on her at some point -"

"STEVE YOU PROMISED NOT TO TELL ANYONE -"

I guess Eddie could be The Freak (like the Creeper from the animated series, but less Joker venom and more clothes) in a Catwoman role? Giving Steve a run for his money (sometimes literally) while secretly mentoring the Robins, much to the Bat's annoyance

[theplanetprince]

Some more dash and a-lister posts that technically aren't canon but I feel like should be.

-Sam before her goth phase used to actually have playdates with Dash and Paulina because of parental obligation things. They all have a mutual understanding to never bring this up.

-they were the kids that had elaborate/cursed pretend barbie soap operas.

-dash stopped hanging around the girls in like the 5th grade, and this kick started Sam's joker phase bc of this "betrayal."

-Paulina's family bought a bunch of possibly haunted furniture from Ghostwriter's estate sale -- it has the side effect of giving her weird dreams and chronic head aches, but damn that chaise lounge looks killer.

-i full hearted believe that Dash if given enough time would have become the phantom's team medic. And when asked why he was such a jackass freshman year he would say "its because it's infinitely easier to hurt people than to fix them."

-on top of the cutesy band aids and teddy bear collection, Dash has a pink DS as well as other stuff like this. Its genuinely his favorite color, mostly because it's practical-- you can see it really easily, he knows no one else on the football team would have pink stuff-- ten percent because it looks good on him.

-Dash is Sidney Poindexter's Nephew. Sidney Poindexter was Dash's Father's brother.

-Same thread I think it would be funny if Star was distantly related to Young Blood- explaining her childish traits.

-Kwan's family owns a liquor store or some other small business in town. I say liquor store because it would be really funny to have a store called "Amity Park Spirits."

-Kwan's dad I feel like would be friends with Jack. Or at the very least Kwan's dad is friendly with Jack.

-Kwan is extremely different around strangers versus his real friends. Kwan is formal and courteous with strangers whereas his friendship Dash allows them both to indulge in their worst traits.

-Kwan and Val are Exs but are still really good friends, because no one can resist Kwan's charms. No one.

-Paulina and Dash love horror movies, Kwan can't stand them.

-Kwan is actually just a big of a coward as Dash maybe bigger but his fear response is to freeze, instead of run.

-Paulina, Dash, and Star try to keep up with the Phantom and ghost stuff-- while Kwan and Wes sound like those guys who can't tell celebrities apart.

-Kwan and Wes-- underrated dynamic I feel. Absolute Sunshine Child with the crustiest little guy.

-Wes only looks short in comparison to the others but being the basketball dork he still towers over the phantom trio. Though Paulina and Star don't let him get a big head about it-- they wear heels to dwarf him.

-Wes and Tucker are on the school paper together. Half because Wes is stalking them, half because he wants to perfect the craft of writing the perfect roast. Tucker despite thinking Wes is a total clown show often works with him on assignments.

[mercurygray]

Can I request Molly & Tab, #6: things you said in the shade of a tree? please and thank you!

Whatever regular spoilers you'd put for 1.10, I guess. We can't have nice things on this blog.

Mornings looked different after nights like these.

Molly stood under the trees and considered the lake. The last eight or nine hours had been a blur, Tab coming through the hall and pounding on the doors, rousing everyone out who was there to be roused that Captain Speirs was having them put out roadblocks and run a man to ground.

Half-sleeping and confused, they went, focus becoming sharper as more details emerged and anger was allowed to take root in place of fear.

Chuck Grant had been shot.

The man they were being sent to find had done it, some nobody from nowhere who'd been on a bender and didn't know his right foot from his left, drunk as hell and stupid for it.

It had been a while, since they'd been in a battle, but her body remembered it - everyone's did. Hands remembered routines, muscles fell back into the rhythms they'd rehearsed so often at Mackall and practiced in Normandy, and Holland, and Belgium.

And they'd found him, all right. Didn't take but a few hours, and they'd dragged him, drunk but slowly sobering, back to the CP to await whatever judgement the law allowed - and whatever punishment they could dole out in the meantime. Molly had come back late to that - she and Hannah were standing in the hall with Floyd and George and their card game when the Captain came back, sidearm already in hand.

Billie's knuckles were already bloody, in the other room - Molly had caught the flash of an arm, heard the familiar sound of fist meeting flesh. She knew Billie's anger, but she wasn't sure she wanted to see its effects. But then, no one had wanted to see Chuck's head half-open either, and this was merely like for like. From the looks of things, Billie had it in her mind to open this joker's head up, too - and would have done, if Speirs hadn't shown up to do the job himself.

She hadn't heard everything, though someone told her afterwards about Speirs and saying sir. She'd been too busy watching Tab, staring down at his game of cards, merely listening to the other room.

It was morning now - the soldier had been packed off to the MPs and not a word was said about the bloody state of his face. Everyone had slowly drifted back to bed, to get whatever sleep they could after it was agreed morning drill would be cancelled.

Billie had not come back to their room last night, and Molly did not need to ask where she had gone. Things like that were better left unsaid. She'd meant to go back to sleep, but dawn was too close and sleep would not come, so she'd wandered outside, taking a walk through Zell's deserted streets before coming back to the hotel and the lake, and seeing Tab under the shade of one of the oaks, legs sprawled in front of him, staring into space.

He looked up as she walked over and cleared her throat, silently acknowledging her before his eyes went back to the water. For a while neither spoke. "Is he going to be okay?" Molly asked.

Tab sniffed and dug the heel of his boot into the dirt, looking out at the early morning calm of the lake, the ducks making their slow and leisurely ripples across the water. "Don't know. Doctor says they won't know for a few hours - give his system time to rest. It's a big…a big maybe."

It wasn't the only thing she wanted to know. "Are you gonna be okay?" He said nothing. "You did everything you could, Tab." Everything short of punching that man, and that wasn't ever going to do anything - not really. Billie got in enough for the both of you.

"Yeah, I'm…I'll be fine." The silence was expansive. He swallowed and took a deep breath. "This place is really pretty."

Molly considered the lake, the ducks and the mountains and the way the morning sun was hitting all of it, somehow washing away the night before. "Yeah. Yeah, it is."

[get-your-fuckin-star-bitch]

I REALLY want to just kind of post the whole draft thingy all at once but I also want to revise it but I also keep getting sidetracked so HERE’S THE DRAFT!!! Pretty much completely unedited! It’s just me rambling about stuff!

So he’s an orphan, because the entire point of him and his sister reaching the train had been to escape from their parents. Fortunately — and unfortunately — the platform is crowded, and busy, bustling with going here and there, trying to make it to the next train, pushing past people who’ve just arrived, shouting to each other, shouting at each other, pushing, shoving, jostling, and all in all, sweeping the poor boy up in the chaos, dragging him along with the human current. He hasn’t got a clue where he’s going. He’s too short to see over the tops of people’s heads.

But after several more moments of claustrophobic, confused movement, the current parts, abruptly dispersing around the boy and leaving him standing, on his own once again, in the middle of a crooked, winding street.

Suitcase clutched in one hand, he stares up at the signpost on the curb, trying to see where he is.

South Avenue, at the intersection of it, fourth, and third. The buildings seemed to loom over the street, giving a nasty, menacing air to the twisted roads, the cloudy, gray sky adding a sinister tone to the whole scene’s atmosphere.

“Hey. Kid.”

The boy turns around, and manages to spot the pair of policemen approaching him, their faces glaring at him from under their hats. His eyes widen, fear flickering in the green and brown irises. But before the cops can even get close enough to grab him, the kid turns, spinning on his heel with the speed of a child who’d been accustomed to making quick escapes, typically from the wraths of a pair of unhappy parents, and streaks down the street, suitcase held tightly against his chest.

“HEY!”

The sound of the quickened footsteps behind him does not deter him, doesn’t make him stop. The boy’s head of ginger hair bobs and weaves as he ducks and zips past pedestrians and shopkeepers, narrowly missing a fire hydrant and almost getting tangled up in the leash of a dog being walked by an old woman with a floral-patterned sun hat, who gives a surprised “oh!!” as he passes her by, the policemen following closely behind.

It isn’t long before his escape attempt is foiled, however.

BUT! Even though the cops are threatening to shove him into the orphanage, he manages to avoid being sent there, because while they’re trying to drag him away, this shopkeeper sees him and goes "that's my boy! Sonny, come here! Thank god you two found him, I've been worried sick!" And so the man took him in.

The man's a watchmaker and clockmaker.

Of course.

Jervis basically apprentices under him, the man teaches him and reads to him and everything.

Favorite book, Alice in wonderland, (starts off innocent and all that, y’know)

Man looks like Geppetto or whatever his name is

Man eventually dies of old age, jervis can't inherit the shop cause of legal reasons regarding the man's will, but fortunately he's now old enough to find a job for himself.

He keeps the Alice in wonderland book, as a memento, and... tucked inside..... or perhaps in the spine of the book.... there's a single small pocketwatch, on a chain.

Made for Tetch.

With a beautifully engraved little hat on the outside, and jervis's initials on the inside.

One last little gift from the old man.

Jervis obviously keeps the book, and the watch, and reads it every night before he goes to sleep, never going ANYWHERE without either the book or the watch, because of both sentimentality and fear of either of them being stolen.

He has to rent a motel room for a couple of nights. And then gets chased out by the manager, cause he can't afford it for more than a few nights.

Then he stumbles upon a casino/bar thingy.

Decides he might as well try his luck there, and see if they're hiring.

Some guy there (it's not joker don't worry it's just a random citizen) who's drunk and sees that he has a pocketwatch is like "Ey!!! You got one of those hypno-shizzle things??!" Which puts jervis on edge, cause this place isn't exactly the sort of place you'd go to AVOID criminals who want to steal your fantastic-condition antique book and/or pocketwatch-

"Lemme see!!!! Do the thing!!!!!"

And he has NO idea what the guy's talking about, at first, but then he realizes the guy wants him to "do the thing" that he's seen people do on tv-

With the swinging-a-thing-side-to-side thing.

Y’know………, hypnosis.

*wink wink hint hint winkity wink wink williffifillink-* /goofy

So, EXTREMELY embarrassed,

uncomfortable, and nervous about how many drunk people are suddenly watching him out of the corners of their eyes, he picks the pocketwatch up by the chain, opens it - for effect, and slowly "does the thing", feeling EXTREMELY silly but trying not to show it as he tries to gently swing the pocketwatch back and forth.

Trying to remember what the people on television used to do, he summons up the most dramatic, hypnosis- voice he can possibly manage, again trying not to feel TOO self-conscious....

…and goes through the basic instructions, passing off the man's startlingly prompt obedience of the instructions as just the man mocking him-

Until he says to do something absolutely

INSANE, that NO one would EVER do willingly, and watches in astonishment as the man starts to do exactly that-!

He stops the man, of course, after that moment of shock and realization, but the entire bar is now his audience.

They're absolutely INCREDULOUS, and so is he.

So, of course, he does the whole "uhhh ahahaha yeah I meant to do that" thing- and bows a little, as the room erupts into drunken applause

As time passes, he basically becomes a professional hypnotist, though he only

"performs" for that one bar.

..At first.

Then one day, a regular at the bar tells him she's found him a gig- at the local hotel and casino: The Colosseum.

(I Will FLIP out if that's The name of a canon place in the original Gotham universe 1)

Hsishsshh

Nervously, and with a bit of reluctance, he goes, and completely KILLS it. (Not literally, don't worry. Not yet- /hi)

And from there, he gets more gigs. Gradually going higher and higher up on the venue

"food chain".

It's a major confidence booster. And a bit of inspiration hits him when someone mentions the book he carries around, plus the hat engraved on his watch, saying that it's "like the mad hatter, innit?"

Cue costume wardrobe change.

But into a COOL version of the mad hatter outfit, y'know- not like he's been pulled straight out of the 1970s/60s animated movie-

Cause the crowds would HATE that

They'd be like "ew who's this weird guy"

At least, in his mind, they would. They probably would love it even MORE, but. Self-confidence is still not his strong suit- /Ih

The crowd goes absolutely WILD when he shows up onstage with the moniker "the mad hatter” and a colorful-yet- fitting costume.

Now, it might seem like this is a bit over-the-top-hat for a man who's a professional HYPNOTIST.

But, see... that thing he told the man to do?

I don't believe I properly explained just WHAT he said.

What he told the man to do… was something along the lines of "stand on your head, start reciting the first poem you think of, and start floating in thin air."

Sort of sarcastically. Cause, of course, he thought the man would just drop the act, laugh, and be like "ahhhh, that was a good one-" and then they could maybe have a normal conversation and the man would leave him alone after that.

The man, however, walked into the center of the room.

Managed to stand on his head ENTIRELY unaided, despite being clearly VERY drunk.

Began reciting the first poem that came to mind.

And began.

HOVERING.

Only rising very slowly at first, but after a few moments, he was about a foot off the floor, still reciting the poem.

At which point, of course, Tetch was like "oh, SHOOT" and snapped him out of it.

Eventually, he finally gets hired, and starts doing touring shows with this company called the miss fits

(Was the first thing that popped into my head)

The two of which are kind of shit to him

(Oh yeah the company's led by these two nasty bitches)

(Gina and Kat)

They keep trying to get him to do stuff he

REALLY doesn't want to do

Which results in him basically just hating himself and feeling generally really miserable

So eventually he snaps at them, right after their show in Gotham.

They'd just performed for mr Wayne at his office building.

(Of course-)

But after the performance and his big argument with the managers, who actually throw him out…

He's got nothing.

They legally own all of his profits.

he's broke, again. Pretty much homeless, feeling like a wreck. And the self-hatred is feeling VERY strong.

He hasn't even been able to change out of his show costume.

The only things he took with him were the book and pocketwatch.

And his suitcase.

So he's just on the street corner, crying, feeling like everyone's staring at him as the cars pass, like they're weirded out by the costume that everyone used to love.

Grossed out by the sobbing, by the fact that he's stranded on the corner. He must look like some disheveled madman.

The poor guy feels like he's all out of options.

And then somebody's voice comes from behind him, in the alleyway.

"Helloooo... Pray tell, are you the mad hatter…?"

(Ah crap forgot to tag @tiredconcepts )

[sanguine-salvation]

Viktor Zsasz is chosen. Viktor Zsasz has a mission. Viktor Zsasz is a Terror and the reason you don't walk down dark alleys alone. Viktor Zsazs--is not a pushover, which is the sight of them being hefted by a tall, snarling woman bleeding from a dozen flesh wounds causes Gotham itself to freeze.

Yeah, the abstract concept of Gotham. That one.

"All I wanted! Is one night--fuckfuckfuckmyhand--!" The heavy plastic lid of the dumpster blonks against the alleyway bricks as its shoved high, releasing a belch of hot garbage. A hoodie-wrapped Zsasz flails in Tess McKay's arms as they're lifted high, a weedy high school nerd ready for a jock's wedgie. Except in this case, the "nerd" is a zealot of a serial killer, the "jock" is a mutant hopped up on multiple energy drinks who had to abandon her opera tickets to chase after them. Also, the nerd stabbed the jock like, five times--

"Get in there! I-- said-- get-- in!"

Somewhere, the Joker is looking up from his game of toilet Candy Crush. Poison Ivy stops fertilizing her garden with token redshirts. Bruce Wayne looks out the window of Wayne Manor and into the peaceful night and decides, 'nah. I'm going to take the night off.'

There is flailing and kicking and a palpable air of insult as Viktor attempts for the dozenth time to wriggle out of her hands. Because they so know where this is going.

At least now they know she is a very aggressive patron of the arts.

"One night! Ha, we don't— urgh! Don't you dare! You can't keep me from— augh!" They thrash in her arms, swinging their heel back blindly towards her head. Or where they assume her head was, anyway. They'd scored several hits, maybe a bite or two, but range was a problem now.

Their knife had been lost a few yards back, though the evidence of their partial success is painted all over both of them to the point where a man who had been taking a smoke in the end of the alley wisely turned tail and left nature to its course. They claw at their thigh, but it isn't quite close enough. Admittedly it is also very hard to grab another of their many extra weapons when they are wrangled at both ends and hoisted over her head like a not-particularly challenging barbell.

Which is... an interesting sensation to realize. Oh. Stong.

But reality is a swift hunter, and they are wrenched back into it when they find themself getting thunked very unceremoniously into the stinking, slimy, clingy garbage. Filth, dirty, sticking on their skin, crawling, itching! The look on their face at such a barrage of unpleasant stimuli makes them look more like a cat soaked in jello than one of Gotham's Most Wanted.

There is a beat of silence. Honestly more than they have ever afforded the Dark Knight.

Then they throw a fetid, oozy banana peel at her face.

And then they lurch out with a growl, new knife, and indignant fury. Wait, how many knives do they have and where...?

[the-letter-horror-lover]

Pre-show was the busiest time in your schedule, forget keeping up your act as a newcomer you were busy taking orders it felt like you were being overworked by a cruel Sebastian. Your feet hurt and burned as you ran up and down replenishing props not to mention your lower back. Ugh, anything for a seat.

"Hey Beauty, that box next to you with the hoops get them over here!" You gritted your teeth. No is perfect and neither are humans, but it'd be nice to have a place where someone wasn't a total nuisance. This one member has been on your case the entire night demanding you bring this and that to her. You dropped the box next to her, and she hissed and drew her foot up in a manner that looked like you dropped it on her foot. "Watch it you nearly injured me," she said angrily.

"So sorry, I'll be sure to present it to you like you're Her Majesty," you sarcastically snarled, smiling like you've tasted something terrible Bard made and didn't want to hurt his feelings.

"If you have a problem, take it up with your superiors, I don't think they'll object to me asking for a little help so I don't forget anything before my act. Be a good sport Beauty."

'What a brilliant idea.'

You looked at Sebastian with doe eyes, and he was indeed... your superior. He caught your eye as you smirked and walked off. "Beauty, I need-"

"Please miss I'll be delighted to get whatever it is you need," he bent so his face was level with hers and gave her his famous closed eye smile. Her light blush said it all, pure jealousy that you were familiar with Sebastian. How cute. Her smirk at you made you laugh on the inside, seeing him toy with her like that was the real joke and silly her, so quick to believe someone as easy as her can capture his attention.

"Psst! You two!"

The tent had been cleared out save you three and the grim reaper. "Remember what we discussed. Let's go." You began to make your way out to go search but were stopped by Joker carrying Wendy. Apparently, she twisted her ankle and was unable to perform. He ran to the medical tent to drop Wendy off, Peter trailed behind them and shouted that Black had eight minutes to get ready for the act. Once they were out of sight, you made your way to Snake's tent. He made quick work of the snakes, and the young lord reviewed the plan once more since Sebastian's sudden demanded presence interfered with the initial plan. "Avoid Peter and Wendy's room. They may be in the medical tent but that doesn't mean they can't return at any time they want. Y/n do Snake and Dagger's room as planned and I'll do Beast and Joker's. We should leave everyone else's tent alone there isn't enough time to for a thorough search of every room." You stayed in the tent while they both left, best to leave Dagger's room for last, his is farther in so if they unexpectedly come back there are more options to hide. The angry snakes hissed at you helpless in their cage, unable to slither their way out and take a bite. Nothing suspicious came up as you rummaged through his drawers, just clothes. Not even something from wherever he originated from. Now that you think about it, he keeps to himself, and you rarely hear him talk. He doesn't seem social even with the rest of the main cast. Maybe he has nothing to conceal. About to leave the tent you heard footsteps ... heels... must be Beast but for what while everyone is at the show? Your anxiety perked up as you tiptoed to the back of the tent and the little crunches of the gritty earth underneath your toes were slightly audible as you went to investigate.

She entered her tent and came out a few seconds later buttoning up a different bodice, it probably ripped is all. Waiting a moment after she left you dashed inside and nearly screamed, Sebastian and the young lord stood there discussing something which startled you. "How she didn't catch you is beyond me, and I thought you had an act to perform."

"I ended it quickly to attend to matters here."

"Oh, what have you find out?"

"A signet keeps appearing in these photographs, it's a horse and the letter "K", I want you to keep note of everything you find branded with it. What about Snake's room?" The young lord asked. "It seems Snake isn't really with the troupe. He's more of a loner than I expected. There wasn't anything affiliated with that signet in his tent either."

"Alright. We have about ten minutes until the encore that should give us enough time before the troupe comes back. Come Y/n we each have one tent left to search. Head back Sebastian before they start getting suspicious."

You all went your separate ways again.

In Dagger's room, it was a bit more eccentric. Decorated a bit more than Snake's room he had a trunk of clothes with a single bottle of cheap cologne buried at the bottom. Nothing really or if the ordinary, he had quite a few pictures of him and Beast and one with a middle-aged man behind them as they both smiled awkwardly. You took the picture out of the frame and inspected the back. A note was scribbled and ended with the signet. However, no name was signed.

"My dear boy, I know you won't forget this day but here is a picture to remind you anyway"

Signed Father

You heard the crowd of people making their way back from the show and hurriedly put the picture back in its frame and left for Sebastian's tent.

~

"You git, you released those damn vipers knowing full well I was still," cough cough, "over there!" He came in stamping his feet like a little angry child whining to his father how his mother didn't buy him sweets. "Yes, I did my lord. You see as an avid player of games yourself you should know to be specific with your pieces. You instructed me to release the snakes when the troupe returned, it's your own fault for being there. While the contract stands, I will protect your life nothing in the contract doesn't permit me to add a little spice. Any game becomes dull when it lacks thrills." He smirked at the adolescent boy in front of him who instead of glaring, smirked right back at him. "Do you know what I would call your stupid little game? Demonic."

"You flatter me."

You snickered while swinging a foot up and down distracting Sebastian a little. Oh yes, he noticed your attire, something so revealing on you couldn't possibly go unnoticed by the one who had claimed you as his. Your exposed s/c skin was smooth enough to have his mouth watering for another taste. The young lord leaned against the bed frame earning a jab from William. He scoffed and beckoned you two outside. "Now," cough cough "in Joker's tent there was a distinct profile of me everything from where I live to my rank and date of birth. It was posted to Tom the Pipers son and had the same signet on the wax seal as we've been," cough "seeing." Working with children from a workhouse indicates he's most likely a philanthropist which means he would need his own signet," cough.

"My lord, are you alright?" He brushed you off and kept talking. "The," cough cough cough, "heraldic authorities office had a record of every signet distributed. You should be able to," cough cough, "identify the correct one." He gripped his throat and began to breathe heavily. "T- the signet, Tom the Pipers son, the children a- and me are all connected somehow." His eyes glazed over like he was going in and out of consciousness all while struggling to breathe.

"My Lord?" he was coughing way too much for your liking. You placed your hand on his back rubbing in circles trying to soothe him. He suddenly dropped on all fours and threw up, hacking the rest of the vile liquid up. "My lord!" Sebastian dropped to his knees confused on what to do.

"Smile!" Doll yelled in concern and came running to his side.

"Quickly run ahead and notify the doctor to prepare a bed!" you told Doll. Sebastian scooped up the young lord and the both of you ran to the medical tent.

~

"It's an asthmatic fit."

"What?" You exclaimed in shock. You sat in a chair next to his bed keeping a close eye on him.

"Asthma? Are you certain?" Sebastian inquired. The doctor nodded, "There were multiple triggers. From the surprise in your voice, it seems he hasn't 0had a fit in years. I heard he had a bath outside with the rest of those loons."

"Tell me Smile, did you suffer from asthma as a child?"

"Mo...r" he mumbled in his frail state and stretched his hand towards you. You grasped hand gently and squeezed lightly, and his eyes were half-open.

"Asthma?" you looked at Sebastian who looked genuinely confused and concerned as well. His breathing became unsteady once again and his grip tightened, "Mother..."

Your eyes widened, "Is- is he experiencing a flashback?"

"It could be, or it's his subconscious talking to you. His mind is muddled, not a good sign." The doctor said as he left the tent for a brief moment.

"Aunt Angeline," he breathed out. 'Madame Red? Oh yes, she was a doctor.'

The doctor came rolling back in, "I just remembered mint oil can help when symptoms I have a bottle here somewhere." He began rummaging through his chest filled with about fifty clinking glass bottles. "Se...bastian," the young lord said weakly and he beckoned him to his side with his index finger and motioned for him to give him his hand. He began to write on the palm of his gloved hand after a few moments he turned young lords hand over doing the same thing. "What'd he say?" He bent down and whispered what the young lord said. You had the option to perform the task, but you rather stay here and attend to him.

"I'll stay. You go," you stroked the young lord's hair for he had fallen asleep the quickest he ever had since the time you knew him. "I'll be back as soon as I can." He ran his fingers through your hair and kissed your worried brow and left swiftly. "Ah found it!" His rickety wheelchair squeaked as he made his way over. "Oh, he's fallen asleep, no matter, we can apply it to his pillow or chest. Which do you think?"

"His pillow should do, thank you doctor," can't risk exposing his mark.

"I assume you're going to stay the night?" You nodded at him. "Alright, don't hesitate to wake me up if anything happens. Good night." He wheeled himself out the medical tent leaving a single oil lamp barely lit. The young lord tossed and turned violently breathing harder than usual. You got up and sat at the head of the bed still trapped in his hand. He grabbed your waist almost burying his face in your lap. The poor boy was having a nightmare. You rubbed his back hoping it would soothe him a little, but after a while of rubbing his back, you fell asleep to his now steady breathing.

~

"Morning," you said sleepily. "Find out anything?"

"Needless to say, we'll discuss it when we get back to the townhouse. How was he last night?" Sebastian asked feeling his forehead. "He wasn't doing well last night, but I think the rest did him a bit of good. His fever went down but it's not gone." The young master started to stir slowly waking up. You both watched him intently, and you bit your lip.

"What's going on... I?" he sat up and leaned back into your chest, still a little weak.

"And a good morning to you," Sebastian replied brightly. "Here have some water," he handed him a glass of water which he wasted no time drinking.

"Slowly my lord we don't want you to choke," he looked up at your voice and came face to face with your chest. He jumped back a blushing mess. He looked over at Sebastian, "You appear to be missing your gloves, your nails and our contract are showing."

"I soiled them a touch."

You cocked your eyebrow at him, "No spare?"

~

"Go on ahead I have to do something," you waved to them and walked out the tent.

"Is Beast in?" you asked Snake who was standing by his tent with about three of his snakes wrapped around him, the albino one jabbed their tail in her direction. You peeked your head into her tent and saw her sitting on her bed. "I came to hang this up it's a bit chilly and I don't want to ruin it." She nodded her head, and you walked over to her chest to put it away. "You alright Beast?"

"Y/n... you ever fall for a man with a demon's tongue-?"

"Oi Beassst!" Wendy came in with her foot in a bandage. "Peter wants a word." Wendy had temporarily distracted you from what Beast said.

'A man with a demon's tongue?' Your eyebrows furrowed hurting your forehead slightly. You spotted Sebastian's glove in the trash next to the chest with her fishnet stockings.

'Isn't that his?'

It clicked in your head.

'...Soiled gloves indeed.'

"Appropriate analogy," you muttered narrowing your eyes.

"What?" Beasts voice made you jump a little, your sudden bloodlust cut short. "Oh nothing," you smiled at her clearly forgetting she was still there. "I'll see you at practise later." You waved her off and looked back to the gloves narrowing your eyes. A demon's tongue... the seducing bastard. No wonder he has all the information we need. She fell for his wiles and squealed. If only there was a book on how to deal with demon mates, husband, beau... whatever. You took out your ring and twirled it "I'm practically stuck with him, might as well keep it." You couldn't even make him pay for this. It was unexpected and it unexpectedly hurt. You were probably a short way to pass the time. But what else do you want from a demon? human morals? A laughable thought.

Notes:

Black Butler and its characters belong to Yana Toboso, you belong to yourself. The ideas in this story are mine. If you see it anywhere else besides here on Quotev from @TitaniaAyuzawa and on Wattpad from @Sakura1408xdxd please report. :) Enjoy

Chapter 22: His Butler, Cold Shoulder

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Seeing as the young lord left before you, you took your time getting to the townhouse. London was oddly sparse at this time, quite fit for your mood.

Mew

"Salem?"

Sure enough the same beautiful black cat with the wine coloured eyes. He looked at you with a cold stare which was odd, he's never treated you that way before. Stalking off, tail high in the air you followed him through some alleyways. He led you to the Undertakers parlour and stood there licking the back of his paw. "No, absolutely not. What do you want me go in and get an earful of I told you so? It's not going to happen," you turned your back on the cat and saw an Indian man staring at you like you were crazy. He whispered to his friend how odd the (nationality) people were. Can't blame him you were yelling at a cat. "Come on let's go," you said softly to Salem. He stalked after you his head and tail high and every time you turned to look at him he would turn his head away. 'This cat acts like a human'

Reaching the townhouse you entered through the servant's entrance and shed your cloak. Salem stayed by your coat playing with the hem of it. After washing your hands you took a bit of tuna and fed it to him. "You can stay if you'd like but don't leave the room, the young lord hates cats." You went upstairs to inform the young lord that you have reached but were met with the prince wrestling the poor boy back to bed. "You! Maid! Go fetch ice and extra towels!" You couldn't put your finger on it but something about Prince Soma ordering you around irked your soul.

~

Jogging to get the towels you ran into the room to see Sebastian filling a bowl with water. Your hands were outstretched gripping the edges of the door frame, gasping with your eyes wide open you quickly hid behind the wall.

"Kitten?"

Tears formed in your eyes and your chest tightened. You thought it broke your heart when he thought it was a mistake for you to be taken with someone like him. But this hurt so much more, as if your ribcage was trying to wring your heart dry. Footsteps indicated he was coming so you ran into the guest room across the hall shutting the door with ease but as quickly as possible. His torturous footsteps receded and you quickly grabbed towels and ran downstairs to retrieve the ice.

You all stood there looking at the flustered young lord sitting under his covers with a thermometer in his mouth. You stood on the opposite side of Sebastian, Agni and Prince Soma in between the both of you. "Come now we should let him rest," everyone left except you, anything to avoid confrontation. A few hours passed as he slept like a baby, only waking up to Sebastian coming in with his dinner. Trying to find an excuse to leave you went downstairs to pace around. 'How can he be so nonchalant?! Does he always do this? Not a look of remorse, an explanation, not a damn thing...'

Ring ring

"Earl of Phantomhive residency may I take a message- oh Tanaka is the manor in one piece?" You planted your palm over your forehead, "Oh Lady Elizabeth is there... mhm alright I'll tell him." You put the mouth piece of the telephone back in the receiver.

"What was that about?" Sebastian walked in with the clothes the young lord wore to the circus and took a caramel Funtom candy from the pocket. "Tanaka called, Lady Elizabeth is staying at the manor until he returns, give the young lord the message," you said coldly and you snatched the candy from his hand and walked off.

~

Downstairs after the young lord fully recuperated he snuck the past persistent Prince Soma. Sebastian carrying the young lord and you by yourself managed to run all the way to Baron Kelvin's manor in an hour.. How you arrived was different to how Sebastian arrived, unfazed and carrying another human with him, and you doubled over with tears in your eyes. Too bad your pain tolerance wasn't as high as you anticipated it getting being his mate. He set the young lord down and helped you to stand up, if it wasn't for the pain in your abdomen you would've swatted him away like a pesky fly. Before knocking on the door Joker gave a double door entrance and welcomed you all in. A candelabra in his hand lit the path you all followed to the dining area, children among children were in the halls dressed as maids, their eyes blank and void of all life. Souless puppets, their life stolen by a vicious tyrant.

Joker suddenly remarks that one cannot judge another by his appearance, and adds that it must have been hard for the young lord to have a stage name like "Smile" compared to who he really is. "Whoever thought a little thing like you could be the Queen's Guard Dog, aye Ciel?"

"I am the Earl Phantomhive, I don't tolerate servants speaking so familiarly," Ciel declares rudely. "Haha pardon me my lord, dinner is ready." He stepped back letting the children open the doors revealing a beautiful dining room, nothing too grand but nothing simple either.

A wheelchair-bound man emerges from another room wrapped and bound like a mummy. A singular eye and the rest of his face were the only bits of skin that were exposed. His expression was giddy and he clapped his hands together at the sight of the young lord. "Oh my Lord Phantomhive I was expecting you, come come sit! Enjoy a little vintage wine I saved from the year of your birth. Look I've prepared a feast as well!" Joker and several of the children delivered the food and poured the wine for both of them as you and Sebastian stood watch. Taking a sip of the crimson liquid, Sebastian concluded that it hadn't been poisoned, but the young lord clearly stated that he has no interest in eating a meal put on by rats. Flustered that the young lord wasn't partaking in the feast he had provided he offered entertainment.

"Joker! Start the show!"

Looking scared, Joker timidly walked up on the stage set for the performance. "Ladies and gents this is this evening's entertainment for the Earl of Phantomhive, our special guest."

A child attempts to perform tightrope walking without a safety net, and falls to her death. You all were shocked, and Joker cringes, while the sick pig laughs and claps. Another child drags the corpse off the stage while some other children pull two adjoined cages on stage. "And now our lion tamer act." The lion moves in an instant mauling the child before you could take a step to stop the madness. As they were carted off Joker looks away in disgust and shame. "And now... our knife throwin' act.." He looked away sickened before they had even come up on stage. A young boy stood there with a few knives in his hand, a light brown crescent moon birthmark on his elbow stops you short in your tracks. "Alfred...?" Your eyes widened. You found him, you found your little boy.

Notes:

Black Butler and its characters belong to Yana Toboso, you belong to yourself. The ideas in this story are mine. If you see it anywhere else besides here on Quotev from @TitaniaAyuzawa and on Wattpad from @Sakura1408xdxd please report. :) Enjoy

Chapter 23: His Butler, Cleaning Up

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"Stop him Sebastian!" Sebastian caught the knife midair and held up the profile of the child in front of him. "Good eye my lord, Ellery Nixon, went missing in Cornwall."

"ALFRED! Oh my dear boy," you ran to the boy who threw the knife at the little girl. Knocking the rest of the knives to the floor you ripped off the mask and cupped his cheeks. Running your hands through his hair like a mother who found their lost child you gave him a hug and looked in his eyes. As blank as the rest of them.... Everyone who had functioning eyes was staring at you with either a shocked or a confused look.

"Lord Phantomhive, I would never presume to give you any orders but please restrain your maid, she's ruining the show." You growled at the sick twisted evil bastard in his wheelchair and started towards the vermin and so did the young lord.

"I believe I know what to report to the Queen. "I found the foul, vulgar, unsightly, perverted brute, and I disposed of him." Simultaneously, the young lord and yourself pulled your guns out training it on the man's head while Joker puts a thin blade to the young lord's throat and Sebastian held the knife from a moment ago at Jokers neck while your blade was wedged by his stomach. If he exhaled too much that blade would pierce his torso. You cocked your gun ready to put a bullet in Kelvin's head.

"Joker, remove that dangerous thing you're pointing at Lord Phantomhive!" Kelvin screeches like a banshee at the man behind you. "B- but father he-" The Baron swivels his head around your gun now aimed at the bridge of his nose. "Are you talking back to me," he asked him as his face grew dark, ignoring the gun in his face. Slowly Joker removes his blade and Sebastian restrains him still at knife point. You however put your blade away, if the need to kill him other than your own desire to do so arose, a gun would decrease his survival chances for sure. "Now, where are the rest of the children?" The satisfying click from the young lord's gun relaxed you for some reason. Kelvin informs that they are in the cellar all too eager he escorts all of you along with the two children steering his wheelchair. You grabbed Alfred's hand and guided him down with you all, hopeful this mess is reversible. Sebastian gives you a questioning look, but you ignored the bastard, your gun still waiting patiently at the back of Kelvin's head.

"Y/n put the gun down," you blatantly ignored the young lord's order as the anger boiled under your skin, just waiting to be released in that one bullet. "Y/n! Put. The gun. Down. This psycho can freak any minute and this will all be for nothing," he whispered frantically. Slowly putting it down only angered you more biting your tongue, so you don't say anything you drew blood.

"Oh my Lord Phantomhive, I am so glad you could be here this time. I've been filled with regret ever since that day," he looks up at the elevator light and smiles widely, "I'm sorry I wasn't able to be by your side that night."

"What the hell are you on about?" The elevator stopped but he continued talking, "I admit no amount of regret can turn back time, but we can reenact the event." The young lord looked as confused as everyone else. The doors to the cellar open, revealing an odd place, the young lord stopped in his tracks, eye wide open and gun visibly shaking. Sebastian looked thoroughly disgusted while you looked dumbfounded. "It took me three years to set this up." Everyone walked in the room which revealed even more abducted children in cages, you gripped Alfred's hand tighter and pulled him close. "That fateful night you were stolen away."

What the hell?

"Ah yes I remember as if it was yesterday, it all started five years ago. We met at a party, and I was introduced to your father through a mutual friend. And you were such an adorable child... I wanted so bad to look at the aristocrats deemed evil for they were a shining beacon to me, an old philanthropist... an ugly old philanthropist. But looking in the mirror while they were there mingling amongst themselves, it dawned on me that I could never be accepted by them. So beautiful... finally I met a doctor who was willing to make me beautiful like your father was. After the operation however I was bed ridden, unable to attend anything concerning your father. Joker came to me one night after the operation bringing the news of your house being burned to the ground and that you were abducted. So, calling on my outside sources they told me where you were being held and I wanted to desperately go, instead they went for me despite my tantrums. But they never came back because everyone

died." He looked up at the ceiling then turned to the young lord, "You killed them right Lord Phantomhive? What a beautiful way to go, if only fate hadn't been trying to keep us apart then-"

The young lord shot him in his stomach, he coughed up blood stopping his seemingly endless blather. Breathing heavily and seething just like the young lord, Joker ran forward unsheathing his blade once again only to have his arm cut off swiftly by Sebastian. They both laid on the floor bleeding out and writhing in anguish. "Please Earl, it hurts kill me like you killed them that day." He crawled his way to the young lord, gripping the hem of his cloak. "You want to die like them?" Sebastian smirked at the young lord's question. "Kneel like a worm then, and beg the demon to do it," he jerked his head in Sebastian's direction.

"STOP! PLEASE WAIT!! I know he's a little unstable but Father is a good man, he saved us when our parents and country abandoned us, there are still children back at the workhouse who-"

"I'll stop you right there," he put his foot on the witless worm's head. "You weren't wrong. You defended your world isn't that enough? After all justice was made by those with power to suit their ideals. There are only two types of people in this world, those who steal and those who are stolen from. Tonight, I just stole your future... that's all."

Joker turned over in his back laughing, "Well that's just it aye? Tonight, my circus crew is already on their way to your estate, to steal something precious from you. And do you know why we've never been caught stealing children? It's because all the witnesses are killed."

"They're professionals now so I wonder how many will be killed in pursuit of you." His eyes and lips widened into a maniacal smile. You smirked and nearly laughed, "No Joker, I think it's how many of your circus mates will die. Phantomhive servants, to my knowledge have never failed to protect the master, guests and estate."

Sebastian chuckled, "Lest you get too optimistic keep in mind they were hired by me," he waved the knife tauntingly at Joker and threw it to the ground.

"Speaking of, I'd rather not return to my home in shambles, Sebastian take Y/n back to the manor. I believe Tanaka will be looking after Lizzie. Return immediately once you've dropped her off." Sebastian tilted his head, "Yes, my lord."

You looked at the young lord, "Take care of him, if there is no saving him then... do what you must." You let Alfred's hand go and he aimlessly walked to the young lord's side. Sebastian scooped you up bridal style and left at full speed.

~

"You've been too quiet even before this matter, something the matter?" you continued looking forward at the manor speedily coming into view. "Why would anything be wrong?" you snarled, sarcasm was dripping rather arrogantly in every syllable to him, you knew he'd grow tired of your attitude eventually. He said nothing and continued to the manor. You saw a window was shattered and Jumbo laid dead slumped against the wall near the servant's entrance. Finally, you two arrived at the manor, "You'll have to tell me what's wrong eventually you know," he said setting you down. You started walking towards the front door, "When you find your soiled glove let me know." You waved him off without even looking at him but you could tell he narrowed his eyes at you. You heard him sigh, "We'll talk about it when this is over," you heard the swoosh of him taking off to return to the young master. Walking through the door you saw Beast and Dagger surrounded by Mey-rin, Finny, and Bard.

Perfect

"Oi, what's Beauty doing here?" Dagger whispered to Beast, she couldn't do anything but stare at you. A sadistic smile crept on your face, oh how you're going to enjoy this. "Finny!" you cried out.

"Here we goooo!!" he threw a statue at them which they dodged, and Bard attacked Beast who outwitted him quickly while Mey-rin took shots at Dagger who used a statue that was already in the middle of the staircase to avoid the bullets and they took off. "Let's go you three," you started taking off your cloak, "Vermin like that don't leave the house willingly, not without our help at least." They nodded and went their separate ways, you with Bard down to the kitchen. "Why'd the boy call you beauty?" You two began setting up the kitchen for when you lured them down there. "Circus names, quite ridiculous." Getting the bags of flour around the room in piles was taxing, thinking waxing the floors would've put some muscles on your arms was clearly foolish. "It fits though-"

"Oh shut up," you two laughed. Waiting for them to give away their position you noticed something huge was covered down, trying to take a peek Bard smacked your hand away. "Ah ah ah, that's part of the show."

"If you're not careful I'll sign you up in the circus,"

"Also ouch what was that on your hand," he grabbed your hand and turned it over and gasped. "Is that a wedding ring?! You and Sebastian got-" a bell from a room in the west ring rang. Bard opened the old communication system and told Mey-rin to head them off there and told Finny to come at them from the main staircase. "Ready?" Just for safety purposes you grabbed a chair and sat behind the covered down object waiting for them. Bard who really wanted to put on a show started sifting flour in a bowl, if only he could do this when actually cooking for the young master instead of using a flamethrower. After several crashes from upstairs soon enough Beast and Dagger came into the kitchen to see Bard sifting flour, you could hardly blame their shocked faces. "Welcome to the end of the line, the kitchen. There's things in here the butler doesn't even know of." You scoffed, "I wouldn't say that." Ripping off the canvas that was covering what you now know to be a machine gun, you were smart to sit behind it. "What is that?" Dagger said with fear in his voice. Bard started shooting, damaging everything. Dagger leapt to shield Beast with his body while Bard emptied the cartridge all over the kitchen. The pots and pans were battered, and most were in pieces, a table was in half and splinters and pieces of metal were sprayed everywhere.

You got up to see Beast crying, Dagger lay dead with multiple bullet holes in his body. She looked at you completely ignoring Bard, "Beauty! How could you let this happen?! Who the hell are you?!!" she shrieked into the night tears running down her face she cracked her whip and an oncoming bag of flour went flying her way. You smirked tossing more bags of flour with help from Bard. "Yes, dance Beast, I believe you told me you wanted to learn. Lesson one is dodging every disaster that happens on the dance floor." She was dodging pretty well, you ran to the other side of the kitchen making her spin around trying to find you while flour rained down clouding the room and obscuring her vision. "Lesson two, turning, it seems you're good at that as well." Her whipped missed you by an inch as she followed your voice through the cloud of flour. "Now Finny!" Bard shouted for Finny which was greeted by a giant statue flying through the window nearly killing Beast. With Bards help you crawled through the new hole in the wall and dusted yourselves off. He lit a match as Mey-rin and Finny came to join you, he lit his cigarette and handed you the match.

"You know if you sift flour fine enough and use something like a machine gun all that gun powder and fine flour will make a combustible powder," Bard explained how a mill in the states had a similar incident. Her eyes widened and looked around at the clouds of shimmering powder in the air. "And lesson three, bowing out," she looked at you as you spoke with a smirk on your face and tears in her eyes and you tossed the match igniting the powder and blew the kitchen up with Beast and Dagger's dead body in it.

Notes:

Black Butler and its characters belong to Yana Toboso, you belong to yourself. The ideas in this story are mine. If you see it anywhere else besides here on Quotev from @TitaniaAyuzawa and on Wattpad from @Sakura1408xdxd please report. :) Enjoy

Chapter 24: His Butler, Protecting

Summary:

Lil trigger warning

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"Let me come with you Y/n!"

"Mey-rin, you're not a child you did it you clean it, and don't forget to reload the rifles on the roof."

"You grow more like Sebastian everyday yes you do. I find it cute." She giggled, everyone including the Lady Elizabeth knew of your "marriage" to Sebastian while you were away. At least that's what they assumed after becoming sad that they didn't attend.

"Don't ruin my day," you said she giggled again and got to cleaning her mess.

After last night Baron Kelvin's estate appeared in the paper the next morning you knew what happened. Both Kelvin and Joker perished along with the other children and your Alfred, they were beyond help, better off dead. Everyone burned in a fire that swept that piece of land off the map. The Phantomhive manor however was spotless in time for the head of the household's return, you didn't want to even hear Sebastian's voice so you decided to go into town to stock back up on food supplies since the kitchen had sort of been blown to bits.

Not a lot of things were needed since Finny grew most things from herbs to vegetables in the garden. You were in and out of the little shop run by an Italian man. Taking your time walking to get back to the manor instead of taking a carriage turned out to be the most devastating foolish decision you've ever made. Either this man took you for a prostitute or just didn't care.

"Doll, c'mere for a second." He called after you. You ignored him, grabbing your knife if he tried something. Unfortunately he did, and unfortunately he was ready. "Ah ah ah doll, I know you. I have my orders to take you in, unspoiled at that," he licked his lips eyeing you up and down. Dragging you down an alley away from civil society, you struggled but he was a bit on the unnaturally strong side. Nothing wrong with that not like you haven't dealt with people stronger than you.

You were pressed against the wall with little space between you. The stench of alcohol on his breath, how revolting, yet the Italian mafia judges the British for drinking too much tea.

Click

"Now let's see who's left here the ground bleeding." You put your gun up to the man's head. "You think that little gun can scare me? I can make that an easy miss." He smirked down at you. What do you do? Grab his throat with your other hand pulling him closer to your face and shoved your gun in a place where if it went off he'd have no way to make children. "Can it miss now?"

His eyes widened in fear, "B-boys!"

Well there went your cocky attitude. There were too many.

'What the hell is this a brothel?'

"Hah, not so cocky now are you?"

"They take one step you won't be so cocky either." He wrestled the gun from you and tossed it to the side of the road, turning you around and smashing you chest first into the wall. You tried pushing yourself against the wall to drive him off but the others piled near shoving their hands anywhere they could grab. A few of them were bringing up your skirt to your hips groping your bare thighs. Tears stinged your eyes as you tried your best to use your half demonic strength to get them off. "What do we have here?" They all stopped abruptly as tears of relief streamed down your face. Never have you ever been so relieved to hear your husband's voice. "Oh look someone discarded a toy here would be a shame if some maniac picked it up right?"

"Oi! Get him!"

You closed your eyes and counted down

Three

Two

One

Splat

One head made one with the ground. Another splat, another one off to meet their maker. It kept going until the last one left standing was their ring leader, still holding you harshly against the wall. His grip tightened as Sebastian's polished shoes clicked on the pavement. "Ah ahh!" Sebastian literally peeled him off of you snapping his neck, the thud of his body told you it was over now. "Close your eyes and walk towards my voice Y/n." Turning around you closed your eyes and took a step in something wet... blood, just like the day you saw him coming out of that burning building you were held captive in. You ran just like that day only into the safety of his arms this time, he draped his tailcoat over your shoulders for your clothes had been badly torn up. He picked up your crying frightened figure and you buried your head in his chest. "I don't know why I was scared."

"Shhh it's okay to be scared once in a while," he cooed. "But I will always be here for you, no matter how far you think I am, I'm watching over you. No matter how screwed we may become I will never abandon you." He kissed your temple the only visible part of your face you couldn't hide at the moment. "Come now let's go home. I'll fix you a cup of tea, and we'll talk."

"The groceries-" you sniffed looking back at the scene blood, bodies, organs, clothes, all slathered across the pavement making you sick to your stomach. He shoved your head back into his chest, "That is no scene for a lady to look at, much less my lady. You're too stubborn forget the groceries."

~

Back at the manor, Sebastian sat you down in your bed with a piping hot cup of herbal tea and wrapped a blanket around you and drew you in. "Chamomile, good for relaxing," he said smartly petting your hair. After a comforting silence he spoke, "About the gloves."

"I know, I'm not stupid. Seduce her for information.. but why?"

"Bloody reaper. I offer him a deal that would benefit only him and he still turned it down. You know the orders I had but he remained a thorn in my side. I had no choice."

"You could've slipped away once out of his grasp-"

"And have him tail me every second and get in my way? You know I have no choice but to prioritize my orders. I even have an order saying not to let our relationship to get in the way of my duty surely you remember?"

...No way around that.

"I know the contract, so for that and only that I forgive you. Next time, tell me. Don't even give me the opportunity to find out." You buried your head in his chest just wanting his comfort. "Now what of this Alfred? You were hysterical at the sight of him."

"Not much to tell. I was like Baron Kelvin once," you shrugged your shoulders.

"A philanthropist? "

"Not quite. I just helped where I can, children mainly. Since no one wanted a woman with no family or references working for them I earned wages from random gangs for doing their dirty work, most of the money went to whatever child I ran into that day. Then one day this one boy knew where to find me every single time. Whether I was walking around or going to do a job. A young child full of wit and eagerness in his eyes, I couldn't resist, I took him under my wing and kept him close. Sent him off to do things when I had jobs to take care of. But being the child that he was, curious about where I was getting the money he figured it out himself and so did who I was working for. They ordered me to kill him since he could potentially rat them out, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. So escaping was our only option and I had to let him go. I could take care of myself but could he? Day after day I feared they'd find him and then we found him there, practically dead. That was a replica of the place where you met the young lord wasn't it?"

"Yes," he said looking up. "So, he wanted sacrifices to recreate that night. Not to summon a demon, just his own sick agenda," you pursed your lips nearly breaking the porcelain cup in your hand with your grip.

"I doubt that would even stir any demon's attention. I also doubt he knew what the ceremony was for. Always ignorant of what you do, humans are so-"

"I don't think you should be judging humans at the moment," you said obviously still mad and hurt by what he did, forgive and forget did not work in this situation.

He sighed looking at you, "Fair enough." He took the empty cup of tea from your hands with his slender fingers and placed it on the desk. "I'll ask the young lord for-"

"No, let me work today. Just... keep me busy. Preferably let me stay with you," you muttered the last part under your breath. "Alright, come along," he whispered sweetly helping you up, your blanket falling to the bed. You went to the young lord first in his study to see what he needed before Sebastian started his work. All that was to do was order a carriage to go to Buckingham Palace tomorrow for his visit to the Queen and for his attire to be ready, other than that he buried himself in his papers requesting solitude. The both of you went down to the kitchen while everyone else was outside taking a break, you heard their little shouts of joy through the cracked window of the newly built wall from where Finny smashed. You reached up closing the window, silence was greatly preferred by you at the moment. You sat on the stone cold floor swaying side to side while he prepared for dinner. "Don't look, I'm cutting onions."

"Do you cry when cutting onions?" You asked and giggled. He scoffed at you, "What do you think?"

"Wow. Sebastian Michaelis, the one thing that can bring him to tears are big bad onions," you sniggered.

"As if," he responded in a tone fit for a whiney brat. You laughed and started humming. The scent of cooking filled your nose making your stomach growl with hunger. God you were hungry. You felt Sebastian standing over you, bending so his hair was just visible if you looked forward. Looking up he had his hand extended. Taking it he pulled you up and started dancing, humming his own entrancing tune.

"Bach, Chaconne in D minor? A hard piece to hum." He said nothing but continued gracefully pulling you along, lifting your heavy heart. The world didn't matter now, all your worries were taken care of once you were in his arms again, the only thing you dreaded was when he would stop. "Between you and I," he whispered softly, the tune continuing in your head as his velvety voice spoke. "I will always try my best to find a different way. I swear it," you both turned on your heels and he stopped still holding one hand now on his knee, bowing. One hand over his chest.

"I will hold you to that."

He stood up and pulled you in for a kiss, "Of course you will." He held you by your waist flipping the meat over in the pan with his free hand. Then he said loudly, "It's rude to interrupt a married couple's alone time." You glanced towards Mey-rin, Finny, Bard and Tanaka peeping in the kitchen. They scurried away in fear of being reprimanded. You kissed him deeply smiling on the inside. He had made you a plate of food but you couldn't stomach it, rather than having you starve he periodically made you tea.

You spent the rest of the day by his side, rarely venturing off to do your own thing, he even gave you a bath and tucked you into bed.

"I love you Sebastian," you said knowing he wasn't going to say it back, but he smiled. It's a start.

Notes:

Black Butler and its characters belong to Yana Toboso, you belong to yourself. The ideas in this story are mine. If you see it anywhere else besides here on Quotev from @TitaniaAyuzawa and on Wattpad from @Sakura1408xdxd please report. :) Enjoy

Chapter 25: His Butler, Preperation

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~March 1888~

Around two months passed. It had been rather awkward between the both of you. Not like anyone would notice, and it was slightly harder to work with him. It wasn't intended, and it started off small, you'd find yourself thinking about what he did, then slowly it got worse over time, growing into baffling insecurity. Negative insecure thoughts swarmed your mind constantly, no matter how much he reassured you it couldn't stop your overthinking that he'd be doing something you wouldn't approve of while you were asleep or generally not with him. At night you stayed up crying, ridiculous thoughts of him and Mey-rin or some random woman from off the street floating through the darkness. Using his somewhat valid reason as a blatant excuse to justify what he did. All meaningless thoughts, Sebastian didn't even know how insecure you felt, how broken... like you weren't enough anymore. He did give you your space, probably thinking you were still mad at him, but you told him you forgave him. But did you really, if you did then why these thoughts? You passed Sebastian in the hallway with two men dressed in white while on the way to the drawing-room where you just left the young lord. He beckoned you with a look to follow along.

~

"A dinner party at the Phantomhive manor?"

"Yes, with a particular guest of honour, his name is Herr Georg von Siemens, a notable German gentleman in distant relations with Her Majesty. He's interested in England's industry," the man named Sir Charles Phipps said.

"But wouldn't he find it a bit disconcerting to be surrounded by strangers on his visit I know I would. Perhaps a dinner with Her Majesty would better suit." He turned the letter around sliding it back towards the men in stark white.

"Refusing? Is that such a good idea? Her Majesty isn't very please with you at the moment. The case concerning the children wasn't very satisfying in your report. Her trust in you isn't very high at the moment," the other named Lord Grey said smirking at the young lord as if he were happy he was losing his favour with the Queen. The gears in the young lord's head were going as he looked over the letter again, slowly sitting back upright in his chair he folded his arms. "The honour would be mine."

They stood up satisfied with his answer and you moved to open the door, "Dont worry we can see ourselves out," Sir Charles Phipps said and he turned back to the young lord, "You have a fortnight, I'm sure you'll be ready by then."

The young lord stood and stretched, a little irritated with his slip up. "You heard him Sebastian begin preparations for the dinner we want him to feel welcomed."

"Straight away my lord," he bowed.

"Y/n, invite my usuals after that come straight to me. I have other people I'd like you to write to." You curtsied and hurried to the office to begin writing the letters to Mr. Lau and Baron Diedrich. After finishing them up you went to the young lord's study to see them chatting. "Now go," the young Lord instructed Sebastian and he bowed and left, you approached and showed him the letters. "Diedrich is in Germany at the moment we would've had the dinner before the letter would have time reach him. I'd like Dr. Arthur, you know the one who wrote that excerpt in Beetons. Grimsby Keane, Irene Diaz, Karl Woodley of the Woodley company, and a Mr. Phelps who works at the docks." The door opened with Sebastian coming back in, "It is done my lord."

His face grew serious as he stared at the both of you, "Now, I don't care what happened between you but you will get along at the dinner party. Do not disgrace my family name," he said sternly.

"Oh it's noticeable?" Sebastian asked.

"Don't be a fool. The whole household is on edge when the both of you are in the same room, not knowing if you'll attempt to kill each other or act like some shameless couple."

"Consider it done," you said before Sebastian could have a chance to talk. You could hold your tongue when needed and keep your composure in front of guests, so could Sebastian so it shouldn't be a problem. But of course, who likes to drag things by taunting you, this is Sebastian Michaelis we are talking about.

~

"Would you-" you began but got cut off.

"Would you care for a drink?" Sebastian asked the doctor as he sat awkwardly, the both of you gave closed eye smiles smiled and offered him drinks and hors d'oeuvres trying not to let that raging fire in your chest get the best of you. He looked up at the both of you with admiration in his eyes and took both a drink and hors d'oeuvres. Walking away you went to fill the tray back up. "You offer the hors d'oeuvres before the drink, not during or after," he came behind you.

"Are you going to constantly badger me about every little thing? Besides you came after me" you hissed at him, barely moving your lips so no one could notice, they might if they saw the look in your eyes. "About your behaviour in front of guests? Yes. And we walked up together, you'll forgive me eventually you know."

"Don't be so cheeky. Of course, correct me but not while we have to serve. And if you think getting on my nerves so I completely forgive you is supposed to be cute then you're sorely mis-"

"I told you to desist, I won't stand for this anymore! Keep your hands off me!" Your hushed conversation was cut short by your heads turning to see Ms. Diaz yelling at Herr Seimens who was drunk and pink in the face. "But my dear looked at how you're dressed. How is a man supposed to help himself?" He grabbed her shoulders and she slapped him. "You should be ashamed of yourself you cur!"

"How dare you speak to me like that you strumpet?!" He angrily grabbed a glass of champagne and tossed it at her. Luckily or unlucky depending on how you viewed it, the liquid hit the young Lord as he stepped between them. Gasps were heard from the guests and you were surprised Sebastian had let it get this far. Your eyes darted to the left of you only to find he had disappeared. "Please, this is a party, for the sake of the other guests I ask both of you to step away-" the young lord was cut off.

"You disgusting old codger, I'll teach you to touch what doesn't belong to you! " Yet another drunken man causing a scene, Mr. Keane grabbed the extra bottle of wine that was left to chill and threw it at the honoured guest. Sebastian grabbed the wine bottle mid-air and landed on a ladder next to a tower of crystal glasses that had seemingly magically appeared.

Pop!

He began to pour the bubbly wine into the topmost glass letting it cascade down into each lower glass. "Here we have a rare wine from the village of Purcari in Southeast Moldova, we do hope you'll enjoy a glass with us this evening."

"It smells wonderful. I'll take a glass," Lord Charles Grey exclaimed. "I will as well," the drunk German stated. You and Mey-rin went around serving wine to the guests, avoiding Herr von Siemens unless he directly called you, he had also taken a liking to Mey-rin and was all over her.

You walked by the young lord talking to Sebastian while on your way to refill the tray "... ah oui, comme ci comme ça. Il est frappé d’une maladie que les médecins eux-mêmes seraient désespérés de devoir traiter."

(...ah yes, neither good nor bad. He is stricken with an illness that the doctors themselves would be desperate to have to treat.)

"Ah ah ah my lord, c'est impoli de parler français devant des anglophones," you tsked. He smirked at you as you walked by and Doctor Arthur laughed, he probably understood.

(... it's rude to speak in French around English speakers.)

~

Herr von Siemens was shamelessly drunk and asleep after causing such a scene. Snoring quite loudly the young Lord had enough. "Help him Sebastian."

"Going to sleep my lord? " Lau asked.

"Yes it's high time for children like me to sleep. Y/n with me, Sebastian will be too busy putting him to bed. Do enjoy the rest of the party." Tanaka held the door open for the three of you. Sebastian had the unconscious man on his back, who was three times his size. You walked behind the both of them silently. "You're loathed to be seen as a child until it's convenient."

"Shut it you."

You giggled at them and branched off from Sebastian and Herr von Siemens. His clothes were laid out in the bed so you set to undressing him straight away. "Tell me my lord, is this simply a dinner party? Quite specific guests for you to invite," you asked knowing full well there is a method to the Queen's madness, inviting such specifics to a dinner party made to welcome a foreigner.

"Yes this one is just a simple dinner party. Her Majesty wanted to make our honoured guest feel welcomed here in England and since our little mishap with the circus and the missing children she felt like giving me a simple task to earn back her trust."

"I see. You should wipe down with a hot towel, champagne can be sticky."

"Fine," he stated in a bored voice. You grabbed a towel from the bottom of his wardrobe and took the heated jug of water and poured it over the towel. You began wiping him down when there was a knock at the door. "May I come in my Lord?"

"What is it Sebastian?"

"Y/n has work to attend to in the kitchen my lord," he shut the door behind him keeping his distance while you slopped his arms in his night shirt.

"So do you. We may not be in front of guests but you two still need to act properly. You will go down to the kitchens together and you will finish your tasks for the night. After that you will fix whatever it is that's going on that is an order," the seal on his normally covered eye glowed purple indicating he was serious as you were buttoning his shirt You sighed, you wanted to let it die out instead. "I'm tired of it, now leave me."

Notes:

Black Butler and its characters belong to Yana Toboso, you belong to yourself. The ideas in this story are mine. If you see it anywhere else besides here on Quotev from @TitaniaAyuzawa and on Wattpad from @Sakura1408xdxd please report. :) Enjoy

Chapter 26: His Butler, Suspect

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Down in the kitchen all of you, save for Tanaka who was attending to the guests upstairs, were cleaning up after the party. You cleaned the dishes while Sebastian dried and Mey-rin put away. Bard and Finny cleaned up the kitchen for tomorrow's work day. Suddenly a bell rang startling you a bit, Mey-rin went to check what room required assistance.

She groaned, "It's Herr von Siemens' room."

"Probably woke up with a splittin' headache and wanted some water," Bard said.

"I don't want to go the man was pawing all over me earlierrr."

"I'll come with you," Sebastian offered looking up.

"Ooh you're worried about me Sebastian?" Mey-rin lit up.

"No it's our guest I'm more worried about. He envied a bit more wine than is generally advisable." You all trekked upstairs to the room he was staying in. Knocking on the door Sebastian asked if he was alright but was answered with glass shattering and a scream. Your eyes widened as Mey-rin banged in the door begging him to answer. All the other guests came running asking what the commotion was about.

"Stand back I'll handle this," two kicks was all it took to knock the door off its hinges though you knew Sebastian could've busted it open with his finger. Everyone gasped as lightning struck, illuminating the room showing Herr Siemens slumped in the armchair, his face in a state of shock. Mey-rin screamed and Mr. Phelps fainted, but luckily Mr. Woodley had quick hands and caught him. "Please if I may," Dr. Arthur brushed pass you to inspect the body, grabbing his wrist to check his pulse. "This man is dead."

"But how can that be?"

"How dreadful."

"I heard screaming what's all the commotion about? Herr von Siemens!" the young lord came in with his robe on led by Tanaka with a surprised look in his eye.

'The young lord is surprised, Sebastian looks confused. Sebastian was with me the whole time and well, we all know the young lord would've shot him but there were no gunshots. Glass shattered though... Nothing is broken I set this room up myself... What the hell. Another supernatural being? Maybe someone snuck in? Sebastian would sense them immediately. If not it's impossible.'

Everyone piled in the room as you observed, slowly pacing the room. You narrowed your eyes and peeked under the bed. Nothing... Dusty though. Walking over to the window you observed the floor and rattled the window a bit. The floor was dry as a bone and the ceiling to floor windows were slightly stiff indicating they haven't been opened recently. "Achoo!" you sneezed all of a sudden quickly covering your face in the crook of your elbow, the dust finally finished tickling your nose allowing you to sneeze. "Wow you even sneeze like a kitten," Sebastian looked at you and chuckled. "Oh hush, " you said softly standing next to him, his arm at your waist and your hand gripping the back of his tailcoat.

Your anxiety built up in your stomach making you hot and bothered in desperate need to tighten your corset but also wanting to rip it off along with the rest of your clothes. Feeling overwhelmed you breathed out, "God can it get any warmer." You swayed side to side ready to pass out when Sebastian pulled out the chair for you to sit down, standing behind it fanning you. "I did warm the room in advance, perhaps he was feeling chill."

"It may be indelicate to say so but at this rate he'll decompose fast, even if we put the fire out it'll still be too warm," Bard piped up.

"I agree, we ought to move him to a cool place till a medical examiner comes and thoroughly examines him," said Doctor Arthur.

"As you say, they cellar is most likely the best place for him, " Sebastian agreed, "Finny fashion a stretcher."

~

"Right, the Yard obviously won't be here and we are cut off from society because of the storm. Meaning two things, we are stuck here, and the murderer is most likely still inside the manor," Mr. Lau inserted.

"Let's be logical people," Earl Grey started, "it only makes sense one of us is the perpetrator."

"Rubbish!"

"Thats positively absurd!"

He was bombarded with retorts shutting him up for the moment.

"What would be the motive though most of us have never met before?"

"And does anyone find it strange that the door was locked when we arrived?" Miss Irene's small voice of reason brought light to an important aspect. "So it seems to me the person entered the room through the window and locked the door to buy time to escape the same way they came."

"Rain means mud, they would most likely leave footprints if they came from outside, anyway the window appears locked," Earl Grey rattled the window like you did earlier.

"That solves it then, the only other way is they must have locked the door from the hallway."

About to shoot down Mr. Keane's theory with the fact you were all out there when he was most likely murdered it was impossible, Sebastian interrupted you saying no one was distributed keys so it was not possible to lock it from the outside, and there were fitted deadbolts indicated the door could only be locked from the inside. Theories upon theories were thrown around ending with the young lord referring to a trick used in a novel.

"The needle and thread trick, first you fasten a threaded needle by the edge of the door, next you pass the thread underneath the door before exiting the room. All you have to door is carefully release the thread as you leave. It's so simple it's become a cliché in mystery novels. The killer isn't probably trying to copy a novel, it's just the only reasonable explanation," he folded his hand leaning against the mantle.

"Hmph, that answers the locked room question but it doesn't narrow the suspects," Mr. Lau pointed out.

"Then we simply have to put together where everyone was at the time," you interjected wanting to retire to your room quickly, although nothing made sense to you. No matter, tomorrow is a new day. "Alibis will be accounted for and we move on from there. During the time he rang for us servants and when we came, we were a group the whole time, so where was everyone else?"

"Quick to rule yourself out huh?" Lord Grey scoffed making you bite your tongue trying to hold back the most sarcastic remark you ever had lest you lose your job on the spot.

"I know Irene and I were in the billiards room," Mr. Keane spoke out first, holding her close. "That's right, I was there as well," Doctor Arthur added.

"Ran-Mao and I were drinking in the lounge together with Mr. Woodley."

"That's right, along with Mr. Phelps." Mr. Phelps was still unconscious being held up by Mr. Woodley.

"That's not quite everyone," Earl Grey shot a look at the young lord. "Where were you at the time?"

"I was in my bed... asleep."

"And can anyone prove that?"

"No."

"Dear me, I guess you've become our prime suspect my lord what with your lack of an alibi and all." You looked at Sebastian urging him to step in but he just stood there, saying nothing. Not even some sorry excuse that these idiots could accept.

Later that night, Earl Grey had a rather convenient pair of manacles on hand. The young lord was to be chained to the doctor to prevent him from moving about. You highly doubted he was the one who did it, there was no underlying ego in his eye. Retiring to your room and stripping off your corset as fast as you could. You doubled over trying to cool your body down stripping of your layers keeping the bare minimum of your stiff dress on. You sat at your desk and dragged papers with an ink well and pen and began writing down your theories of what could've possibly happen. Too bad you didn't feel too well and fell asleep at your desk.

Notes:

Black Butler and its characters belong to Yana Toboso, you belong to yourself. The ideas in this story are mine. If you see it anywhere else besides here on Quotev from @TitaniaAyuzawa and on Wattpad from @Sakura1408xdxd please report. :) Enjoy

Chapter 27: His Butler, Death

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

You were half asleep at your small desk in your room when Sebastian came in. Seeing your desk in disarray with papers and pens scattered and the flame of a single candle dancing around at the sudden wind from the door closing illuminated your hunched over figure. Theories upon theories were written down and scratched out, he looked over, read some and smirked, "Smart girl."

You winced at his feathery touch. "Oh dear, this is why you have pains all over, your sleeping styles are terrible." he sighed.

"Mmm..."

He came unbuttoning your uniform and slipped it off your shoulders, you felt his hands massage your bare shoulder and back while he whispered in your ear. "I need you to do a favour for me, take care of the servants and stay by the young masters' side no matter what." He caressed your puffed out cheeks with his gloved thumb, relaxing you and helping you fall into a deep sleep. Stripping you of the rest of your clothes he dressed you in your nightgown and took a long look at you, touching his mark he was interested in how it will all go down in a couple of hours. He blew out the candle and quietly stole out of the room.

~

You awoke in your bed, remembering how you got there your cheeks grew warm and you got ready for the day. You decided to get the rooms ready for the guests today passing Finny on the way who had a metal pail of coals for what you guessed was to replenish the fires. Starting with the drawing-room you heard a crash and Finny wailing. Running towards the sound of Finny you assumed another murder had taken place.

Forget anxiety, this was pure pain, physical, mental and emotional eating you from the inside, like ants crawling and biting every inch of your body inside and out... The shock of seeing Sebastian of all people laying there on the floor was enough to make your heart leap out your chest and pull a gasp from your dry throat, you backed into the wall nearly knocking whatever air was left in your lungs completely out. Clenching your jaw you kept your composure remembering he's a demon and if bullets can't kill him a simple poker can't. The guests started filling the room and Mey-rin and Finny broke down crying their hearts out. You whispered to Tanaka to wake the young lord. Chatter rose amongst the guests, they are all as shocked as you were when you first saw. Standing in the back and staring at him you wanted to shout at him to get up it looked so real, blood everywhere, the look of shock on his face, the lifeless position, and poker sticking out of his chest. It made you feel sick to your stomach nevertheless you maintained your stoic facade and to everyone else, you seemed too shocked for words. The young lord came running and stared wide-eyed at Sebastian.

He stepped towards Sebastian's body, "That's enough of your play-acting. You've had enough fun but the charade is over." He tsked angrily and snatched the poker and threw it. Kneeling on Sebastian he grabbed him by his tailcoat and shook him violently. "Damn you! I order you to wake up this instant."

'He- he's not moving. A direct order... he is bound to that.' Your eyes grew wide, no he couldn't be dead. The feeling of throwing up rose quickly making you drop to one knee, your nails digging into the wallpaper. He would never disobey a direct order from the young lord. "You think you can disobey my orders?! I won't allow it," he growled striking Sebastian over and over until Bard grabbed his hand. "You will wake up at onc-"

"Young master it's time to stop. Sebastian's dead, he's not coming back."

Your mind blanked out trying to figure out how he could possibly be dead. All that was ringing in your head was "That's an order", you hadn't realized it was the young lord screaming while Mey-rin tried to separate him from Sebastian's body, ripping the fabric. You were brought back by Bards' hand on your shoulder guiding you back on your weak knees. You held your stomach trying to steady yourself.

Earl Grey was making a nuisance of himself ordering all of the servants around to see to breakfast. Tanaka had instructed you to get the young masters' attire ready. Going to the outfits that were put into the room he slept in, there was the perfect mourning outfit as if he knew he needed it. Grabbing it and placing it on the bed you went to the bathroom where Finny and Bard had brought the hot water up. You drew his bath and slid onto the floor and sighed. Staying there for a while you took it all in and tried to relax till you heard footsteps. Getting up quickly and dusting off your maid uniform Tanaka and the young lord entered the room. Curtsying you walked out the room and the young master gave you a look of sympathy and you returned a closed eye smile.

Today is going to be a long day.

Notes:

Black Butler and its characters belong to Yana Toboso, you belong to yourself. The ideas in this story are mine. If you see it anywhere else besides here on Quotev from @TitaniaAyuzawa and on Wattpad from @Sakura1408xdxd please report. :) Enjoy

Chapter 28: His Butler, On Edge

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

You wanted to stay confined in your room with your thoughts clawing and nagging at your brain. It just wasn't possible, to your knowledge at least. No human weapon or in this case makeshift weapon could fatally harm him. A poker through the chest, come on. Bullets to the head couldn't kill him, why should that? After the young lord sat you down and explained Sebastian wasn't coming back he instructed you to wear your own mourning clothes seeing as you were his... widow... Four years of completely black attire since the armband had been seen as a degradation of etiquette and were to only be worn by men in uniform now.

After going upstairs way after breakfast had been served, you learned that Mr. Phelps was dead and the key to where he stayed was missing, the next logical step was to look for it but Earl Grey hadn't had enough of hearing his own voice.

"Don't be shocked it was probably you," he threw out rashly with no evidence whatsoever. "Wait now let's not jump-" Doctor Arthur started.

You grew angry at his statement, "If I was the culprit, I would honestly give it up now and take you down as my last victim, Lord Grey. Don't forget it wouldn't take much, I help prepare and serve the food." You gritted your teeth and balled your fists begging him to continue.

"Y/n," the young lord said in a warning tone.

"Death threats now, is that such a good idea? You could've easily went up and killed poor Phelps while you were supposedly changing and changed the time of the clock to make us think it was a while ago," he leaned back in the chair smiling like a moron enjoying his time when three people were dead.

"Without the key the butler had?"

"You are- whoops I mean was his wife. He could've easily given it last night."

The room went quiet. It was possible and that's what had you anxiously twisting your ring, of course it was untrue but who would believe you.

Doctor Arthur drew up a list of the approximate times each person was murdered and who had the possibility of doing it. "Mr. Siemens died first obviously, around 1 o'clock in the morning, the only one who could've done it was Lord Phantomhive. After that, Mr. Phelps died at precisely 2:38 a.m, Sebastian was the sole person with the key so only he could've killed Mr. Phelps, Lord Grey here brought up a possible but not likely theory, so I'm sorry, Y/n here could've done it also. And Sebastian had to be the last to go at around 3, other than the Earl and myself, anyone could've done it."

"The maid here could've also killed the butler," Lord Grey interjected again.

"Do you have a vendetta against me? Why would I kill my own husband," you hissed.

He shrugged his shoulders, "To silence him about killing Phelps, he could've given you the key last night and hid it somewhere. Then you could've double-crossed him."

"Oh, the butler died last? How can you be so sure?" questioned Mr. Lau trying to change the subject.

"It was confirmed."

"Yes it was confirmed by us and Y/n," said Finny raising his hand. "What could he possibly want at that hour?" the young master asked. "He wanted to go over the food preparations for the next three days, and he told Finny to see to the fires in the morning."

Mey-rin piped up, "And he instructed me to release a- a carrier owl?"

"What did the-" started Earl Grey but the young master cut him off, apparently tired of hearing him talk as you all were. "And you, what did he want with you?" he looked up at you. "He instructed me to keep the servants out of trouble and to stay by your side sir." He scoffed, "It's like he somehow predicted his own death, how very perceptive and how very like him."

"He did see you last night, so my theory isn't entirely useless," Lord Grey annoyingly shared his opinion again. Before you could retort he called on Finny. "You, gardener. How has their relationship been the past few days?"

You could see the fear in Finny's eyes being called on suddenly. He couldn't lie to save his own skin. "Well they've, sort of um, not been so um close- IM SO SORRY Y/N!!!" He said very quickly and jumbled burying his head into Bard's shoulder.

You sighed closing your eyes, "It's okay Finny. Lord Grey, I suggest you pick a theory, did I kill him now or last night?" You batted your eyelashes at the bastard daring him to play this game of verbal Russian Roulette not knowing what he'll say will pull that trigger in your mind.

"So all in all that means that two people committed the murders! " Doctor Arthur realized. Great, just what you needed, something to potentially drag you deeper.

"It seems to me... the only ones who could've done this is the ones who came as a pair!" Mr. Woodley cried out angrily eyeing Mr. Keane and Miss Irene. He stood up facing the man, "Locked here with a murderer then branded as killers ourselves?! Outrageous."

"No- please everyone calm down I didn't mean it was a pair, just that there may be more than one culprit," Doctor Arthur said, a bit forced to eat his wording rather than his words. Slamming his hands on the table Mr. Woodley seemed to have enough, "This is preposterous, I refuse to be held here!"

"And where exactly would you go? Given the state of things I can't exactly have you galivanting around the house, not my house at least."

He gasped widening his eyes, "It's you isn't it? You've had this planned from the beginning. You're to do away with us all... AS THE QUEEN'S MONGREL!"

"Woodley," the young lord said in a dangerously quiet voice, "there is no need to begin frothing at the mouth... now be a good boy and sit."

"YOU PRESUME TO GIVE ME ORDERS?!"

He lashed out at the young lord and you instinctively reached for your knife but thankfully Tanaka got to him first, pinning him on the ground with a martial arts move. You had forgotten you were a suspect of a murder case, brandishing any weapon at the moment wouldn't be in your best interest. "You're clearly in some discomfort I apologize, here at this estate we are not in the habit of letting anyone strike our young master. Your status, your birth, nor your age matter to us. It's our rule I hope you understand." He smiled down at Mr. Woodley who looked at all the servant's as you all glared at him.

He groaned under Tanaka who dug his knee into his back, "What's wrong with this bloody manor?" He picked himself off the floor and sat back quietly in his chair, humbled by his run in with a man more than half his age.

Crossing his arms the young lord continued, "Well doctor, it seems you are the only one who is completely innocent, how shall we proceed?"

~

The doctor offered a search of the cellar to find the key on Sebastian's person, and since you were suspected of having it as well you were forced to come along with them.

In the wine cellar there were three bodies laid out, all side by side with a white sheet over them. You weren't particularly comfortable with Sebastian being under the cover so you had difficulty waking in the room. He uncovered the body in the middle revealing Sebastian's wet face. You furrowed your eyebrows confused on why he'd be wet. "Oh look the ceiling's leaking, it's this storm," Bard explained.

'But... the sheet is dry...'

"I'm sorry I must look closer, let's turn him over," you felt sick to your stomach again but didn't let it show.

"No!" Finny ran and kneeled in front of him arms spread out. "You can't treat him like any old thing he's a person even if he is dead, and his wife's in the room don't you think-"

"Finny!" The young lord shouted without looking into his face, "If you're going to behave like a child then go back upstairs. You're in the way."

Finny hung his blond head in embarrassment and sadness and walked away as they continued talking how they'd go about examining him. Pretty soon they started to strip search him, and you backed into a wall sliding down to the floor. A thread of your dress got caught as you went down making you awkwardly fumble trying to release yourself. "Nothing, we'll have to search his room."

"Come, I'll escort you." Everyone began piling out and the young lord looked back. "Y/n?" You stood up quickly walking behind him to go to Sebastian's room. Searching the somewhat familiar room you found nothing until the room suddenly filled with the purrs of cats. You never knew Sebastian kept cats in his closet of identical butler uniforms. Odd, but not unexpected. The young lord began a sneezing fit and ordered you to put them outside. Salem strutted around like he owned the place and was above the common cat. "Oh no, you come here too. Out, out." You pushed a table outside and the cats walked under it trying to stay dry. Their paws got wet but that was about it. The poor things cried out to you wanting to go back inside but sadly you couldn't. Everything hurt today.

Notes:

Black Butler and its characters belong to Yana Toboso, you belong to yourself. The ideas in this story are mine. If you see it anywhere else besides here on Quotev from @TitaniaAyuzawa and on Wattpad from @Sakura1408xdxd please report. :) Enjoy

Chapter 29: His Butler, Unlucky Number

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

(Since you're reading this I think you would be interested They're making another Black Butler Musical in 2021 of the Weston College Arc. Just thought you guys would want to know.)

"Pardon me everyone as you know we've been searching for the key to the Earl's bed chamber. I'd like the chance to search everyone's rooms and belongings. Naturally the ladies will do each others room for decency and vice versa for men. If that's alright with everyone."

"I don't object go right ahead," said Miss Irene. Everyone walked off to their respective rooms to start searching. You, Mey-rin, Ran-Mao, and Miss Irene did Mey-rin's room first, finding nothing of interest and searched your room next, nothing of interest there either, you expected something like this, so you hid your theories well just in case the killer thought you were on to them. Next was Miss Irene's room. While you checked under the bed Mey-rin checked her luggage. "Oh, I must learn to be careful with that."

It was a picture of her and Mr. Grimsby. "He sort of gave up the game yesterday when he defended you like that," you said removing your hands from underneath the bed and dusting them off. You must remember to do underneath the beds when cleaning.

She blushed and began to explain her relationship with Mr. Grimsby to you as you searched the vases on the mantle. "What was your husband like?"

"About the opposite of your beau my lady. Forgive me my wording, but instead of causing a scene he would've been a bit more discreet in defending my honour, a little more on the smooth like a snake side." She laughed and waved you off for apologizing, the truth isn't exactly insulting.

"No surely not- blood," Mey-rin was pale and shaking and you looked over her shoulder to see a bottle with a red liquid in it. "Ah! That is not how those are meant to be worn." You looked back to see Ran-Mao with Miss Irenes' underclothes on her head.

"Miss Ran-mao what mischief are you up to now, oh I'm coming," Mey-rin ran to help take off the article of clothing on her head. Ran-Mao shared a room with Mr. Lau so there was no need to search since the men had already searched there. Walking back to the drawing-room Mey-rin asked if you were okay, your face was starting to show how stressed you were, eyes a bit sunken in, the shorter hairs sticking out of what was supposed to be a perfect bun. This case had taken an obvious toll on your health, for once you were afraid without Sebastian, you couldn't even think clearly. He wasn't there to calm you down or realize how deep and disoriented you were and take some load of your shoulders. Oh God how much you wanted to lay in bed and stare at the ceiling, unmoving, a sleep spell of your own.

~

The key was not recovered, trust Sebastian to hide the key to the young lord's bedroom well. After some discussion, they deduced the key was probably outside. Finny offered to search. "That's noble but I couldn't possibly ask you to-" Finny interrupted him, "I can't help solve the murders with me head, but I want to help in any way I can and if finding the key does that then I'll do it. Please master I just want to help." He and Mey-rin shared a look and dashed out the door.

"You lot can't just-" Bard started but they were gone, "Please excuse me," he ran after the other two. The young master glanced at you. "You're going to stay here? I'm surprised you're not the first one out the door." You smirked and bowed, "I have my orders my lord but I'll go after them." You and Tanaka grabbed umbrellas from the hall by the servant's entrance and proceeded to go outside. They were having a moment together at the entrance of the garden instead of looking, even through the pouring sheets of rain, it was visible that they were crying. You heard the last of what Bard was saying when you two got closer. "...it was so if anything happened to him we would be here to protect the master." Tanaka put the extra umbrella over their heads, "And do you know what Sebastian would say if he were here right now? He would say that a servant who is shaken up by something so small as a triple murder isn't worth his salt." You handed the other umbrella to Mey-rin and Finny to share.

'I wouldn't say a triple murder is small but alright.'

You smelled something... like tea and roses. Squinting your eyes you looked out to the garden and stepped closer. Sebastian's signature scent, but you are by a garden it could be something similar.

You all started back inside but the wind kicked up causing Mey-rin and Finny to cling to each other and your umbrella to turn inside out letting the cold harsh rain stab at your skin. Bard ran to aid you kicking up the water from the slightly flooded area and soaking what was left of your dry self. He dragged you under his umbrella, held you by your shoulders and led you inside with everyone else. "I'll go change, no amount of towelling off can save me now." Finny looked as if he were going to interrupt, "I'll be fine, no murderer would willingly cross paths with...." You couldn't say it, you were not a widow. It's impossible for you to be one. "Besides, they aren't going anywhere, it's just us servants roaming the manor." They all nodded and you left for the laundry room. If everyone is isolated to two places too scared to go without each other no one could barge in if you changed there right? Taking long enough to change would make everyone worried or more suspicious of you so forget drying your hair, though you would regret it later due to it getting knotty and out of control.

The now cold air tickled your skin as you walked back to the drawing-room, you could feel a sneeze coming on. Oh how Sebastian would scold you for leaving yourself drenched for so long in a cold damp place. You felt so drained, sniffing was a lot of work to you, even worse with a clogged nose. Your eyes stung from dryness, so you put your cold, pruney fingers to your eyes helping to cool it down. Taking one last sniff at an attempt to unclog your nose from snot, you opened the door to see an elderly looking man who was drenched from the rain outside, standing there bound by ropes that Bard probably tied. He stood there, black slicked back hair still perfect aside from the water dripping onto the carpet with his wet pinstriped suit and black bag in Bard's hand. Your hand cautiously inched its way to the knife tucked in by your garter belt. "My lord?" you questioned looking at the back of the man's head.

"Easy Y/n, he is an acquaintance." The man turned his upper body to you, wine coloured eyes staring into yours.

"This is the vicar, Jeremy Rathbone."

Notes:

Black Butler and its characters belong to Yana Toboso, you belong to yourself. The ideas in this story are mine. If you see it anywhere else besides here on Quotev from @TitaniaAyuzawa and on Wattpad from @Sakura1408xdxd please report. :) Enjoy

Chapter 30: His Butler, Muddled Closure

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"Been a while Jeremy, how are you?"

The young lord turned to everyone and introduced him as Jeremy Rathbone a vicar from a church around the area. As this vicar was talking you studied him closely. His eyes, just like Sebastian's... another demon? Or a coincidence? You walked around slowly to the young lord's empty chair like a snake circling its unsuspecting prey, near Woodley in case he decided to stir things up again. Something he said snapped you out of your train of thought, "Human observation is my little hobby." Evidently, this fascinated Doctor Arthur for he was giddy. "When did you get here? How did you get here, it'd be impossible in this storm to arrive here by cab." Doctor Arthur was very shocked as always, he's a very peculiar man. You tried resisting the urge to laugh but it didn't work, thankfully no one heard, or so you thought, for the vicar Jeremy looked at you with his familiar crimson eyes for a split second. You narrowed your eyes at him. He sent your nerves through the roof, so familiar yet so different.

He explained that Sebastian sent a message via carrier owl. "What did the letter say?" you asked the young master. "Yes he would do this, as I said before Sebastian had somehow predicted his own death and for Jeremy," he crushed the letter in his hand and stood up. Jeremy further explained that he was at the Lyceum Theatre watching the "Lady of the Lake". Finny produced a ticket from his wet pocket and read off the date and time. "That was last night, you couldn't have committed the murders since you were taking in a play."

After being caught up, Jeremy insisted on seeing the bodies separately, so the young lord instructed all of you to carry the bodies to three different rooms. The three were chattering amongst themselves and Finny said he felt he could trust Jeremy.

"I feel that too but you have to be careful of who you trust Fin," you said sniffing a little, cold damp places were not your friend at the moment.

"Yeah that kinda thing could get you in trouble, " Bard said. You wondered if his likenesses to Sebastian was a coincidence or if you were projecting your... "loss" onto him, wanting to find something like him in another person. Or maybe it was him? You scoffed at your idea, even Sebastian can't be two places at once. For his body was laying in front of you waiting to be moved and Jeremy was upstairs. You put them in the three most underused guest bedrooms and retreated back downstairs, but not before touching your lovers cheek.

~

"Now, I'd like you to show me the bodies the order they died." He clapped his hands together looking to the young lord.

"Alright I'll assist," Doctor Arthur said, picking up his pad and pencil.

"Lovely, I'll come too!" Lord Grey said making you roll your eyes.

"Ah we'll need someone who knows where they put the bodies, mmm..." Jeremy pointed his finger in your direction. "If you'd be so kind as to come along."

Cautiously you nodded slowly walking around to where they stood. "This way," you opened the door and led them to where you placed Herr von Siemens. Jeremy was right, smells are essential in figuring things out. There was a slight metallic odour that was somehow a bit sweet smelling to your soul. His blood although a bit old smelled fresh to you, how you could smell his blood clear as day was more than a bit puzzling to you.

"Theres only the one external injury, a single stab to the chest with a sharp edge blade it seems," he inspected the gold pocket watch he extracted from Siemens' pocket. "He was a violent drinker during his life wasn't he?"

"And how'd you sus that out?" Lord Grey asked in a bored voice.

"This is a very expensive pocket watch, someone who is very crude or one who was drunk on several occasions would scratch up the keyhole so much. Then there is a strong scent of alcohol, probably had a stiff drink before his death."

'Maybe that was the glass breaking that I heard? No... there wasn't anything on the floor.'

He sniffed the air, "I detect a faint whiff of the sea."

"The sea?"

"From the rain or...?" You started looking confused. He ignored your question and spoke to Doctor Arthur.

"You there sir, do you have a handkerchief?"

Doctor Arthur hastily pulled out a handkerchief and handed it to Jeremy, who put it into von Siemens' mouth. You sniggered at his actions, so brazen it was slightly entertaining. Dropping it back into Doctor Arthur's hand he set off to Mr. Phelps who was right next door. Inspecting the peculiar wound he asked to see the place where he was murdered. Leading them up the stairs to the young lord's bedroom you made note to buy a new clock for his bed chamber. Jeremy had stopped along the way because he was winded apparently, a person who is a bit seasoned isn't exactly a spring chicken Lord Grey had so rudely stated earlier.

"Hmm..."

"What is it?" The young lord asked.

"Apprehending von Siemens killer should present little difficulty. Mr. Phelps killer is a different story."

"So there are two killers after all!" Doctor Arthur wrote feverishly in his pad.

"To catch his killer there are two things we require. One of which is to wait till nightfall, the other requires your cooperation my lord."

"My cooperation?"

"Yes, I will explain everything when night has fallen. For now let us see to the butler, shall we?"

Downstairs he began to inspect Sebastian's body and was about to raise the cover when the young lord grabbed Doctor Arthur feeling sensitive to see Sebastian's body but you couldn't tear your eyes away from his body. Everyone looked at the Earl and he started a coughing fit. You whipped your head around immediately to accommodate him, "My lord are you well?"

"I'm sorry Y/n, it just makes me sick to my stomach to see Sebastian's lifeless body."

"Whaaat? Where was this reaction when we were casually undressing his body?" Lord Grey inquired in a childish voice.

"There, all done. The butler's death was simple, a blow to the head and a stab wound to the chest."

"Right let's go then, I'm starving. What are we having for dinner tonight?" Lord Grey asked walking out the room, the rest of you followed.

'When are you not hungry' you rolled your eyes and bit your tongue. "I'm uncertain sir."

"Nice, I love a surprise meal."

You excused yourself and went into a vacant guest room to retrieve a clock, there's no telling when the storm would let up so the young master would need a spare till you buy a new one.

~

You headed down to the kitchen to see about dinner almost forgetting there wasn't much. You opened the door to show Jeremy instructing the other three.

"Ah, you're working down here as well, good the more hands the better. You there chef, that barrel is filled with soybeans, you can make the meat with that."

"Imitation meat you mean?" You asked, closing the door behind you.

"Cool is there anything you don't know Jeremy?" Finny said, his eyes bright as ever.

"Cooking is a science as well as an art. With that many soybeans you could make Hamburg steak for about thirty people."

"Thirty?! That oughta do."

"Right, first boil a large quantity of soybeans, move quickly now!"

"I shall assist you there is much to do." He shed his coat and placed it on the chair, much like Sebastian would when he worked in the kitchen.

"Oh please, sir you're a guest my superior would have my head if I allowed a guest to do our jobs. We appreciate the help, but we have it now," you bowed to him. Similarities or not he's a guest here in the household, it would bring shame for treating him any other way.

"Do not fret my dear, the Earl would understand. Now let's get to work I believe you were going to choose the dishes for tonight."

Well then... Time is of the essence, might as well go with it.

~

After dinner is when the festivities began, however you had hit a little snag with Jeremy.

"I- pardon me sir," you stuttered at the man. Just what the hell did he mean wear the clothes of a boy considerably smaller than you. For Ran-Mao it was nothing to have her legs on display, you however were not so comfortable with the idea. Your breast were pushed out on display and so was every inch of what you considered leg. The sleeves came by your forearm. Slipping off your garters because it looked so scandalous, bare legs seemed less unseemly. You went barefoot as to not make life difficult, ugh you felt so bare and insecure. It was quite embarrassing.

"My lord, if the need ever arises for me to this again, please grow by that time," you looked at the small boy dressed in clothes too big for him, honestly you would've preferred Sebastian's outside coat.

"Shut up."

Ran-Mao laid stationed on the bed and you were trapped in the corner while the men camped out by the fireplace and everyone else stayed in a room adjacent to the one you all were in. There, in the dark something was shifting but you couldn't make it out.

"DO IT NOW!" Jeremy yelled.

Ran-mao kicked the blanket over the thing and you bounded to trap it in the blanket. Spreading your legs to either corner and putting your hands in front of your... area so the thing couldn't escape and no one could see under your tight attire. "Ah!" you yelped softly drawing everyone's attention to your figure, the writhing was unbearable you felt it slither near your womanhood and knock into your thigh. Honestly, it felt like you were on display for everyone. Demons are possessive by nature, if Jeremy was Sebastian he wouldn't look so nonchalant at the moment besides, he examined Sebastian's body in front of everyone.

"I have it!" Earl Grey ran forward with his sword unsheathed.

Clang

Jeremy used a poker from the fireplace to stop Earl Grey from killing whatever was slithering underneath the blanket. "I can't have you killing a witness."

"You can get up now, I have it. Don't need another person dying on the earl," he smirked at your exposed figure. He grabbed the writhing thing through the blanket and you got up quickly pulling the outfit down.

~

"We've got the guilty party in question alright," Earl Grey said when you all walked in with an angry black snake held by Jeremy. The young lord's eye widened. "A snake?!"

Every time the snake's forked tongue flickered in your direction it became more hostile, maybe you were imagining things it could be the way Jeremy was handling the snake.

He says that the snake was most likely trained to kill the young lord based on his scent. The snake is a Black Mamba, which inhabits South Africa.

Doctor Arthur then questions how the snake got in the country.

"It's a Black Mamba from Africa, the most venomous one there. It would have to be someone who did business in Africa," you said.

"Lets see what are our main imports from Africa? Gold and diamonds I suppo-" Doctor Arthur gasped.

Everyone focused their attention on Mr. Woodley and he gasped with his eyes wide open. "Dont look at me. What about Kudlun, they're a trading company!"

Mr. Lau shrugged his shoulders, "Yes, but our business never takes us to the African continent."

"It's not me I tell you, I have an alibi if you recall."

"That may be utterly useless Mr. Woodley. The body the servants found when they knocked down the door, well it may not have been a corpse," Jeremy said, "Herr Georg von Siemens drank a liquid similar to what Juliet drank in Romeo and Juliet to reach a state of suspended animation."

He revealed that Siemens drank the liquid and faked his death but was stabbed after. He awoke in a wine cellar and had a stiff drink before he died, and the liquid contained pufflefish poison, hence the smell of the sea earlier.

Doctor Arthur then proposes the idea that the killer sold it to him as a joke then returned to kill him later. "When Sebastian was changing the coke in the hearth he found the evidence, and to prevent him from saying anything he panicked, and killed Sebastian as well."

"Then whoever did it must have the bottle, you've searched me and the room!!"

"Everywhere but the fireplace," you interjected. "Am I correct?"

"Let's see!" Going through the ashes, Mr. Keane found glass shards. Jeremy then puts them together, which looked like an ampule for a drug of some sort.

"What would be the motive though?"

"Diamonds." The young lord stepped out from behind you, "a venture between our two companies was supposed to take place. However, with the murder of the president it was put on hold, and if it were to be put into motion the Woodely Diamond Company would be ruined. To make sure his company doesn't ensue damage he must've thought the easy way out was to kill me as well. Shoddy plan if you ask me."

"You framed a kid for murder over a handful of gems?" Doctor Arthur looked at the man in disbelief, he wasn't a naive man just kindhearted.

"No! On my honour I am innocent. Don't you see I am the one who is being framed," he shook a bejeweled finger in the young lord's direction. "It's him I tell you! He set me up he's the Queen's Guard-"

Lord Grey unsheathed his sword holding it to Mr. Woodley's throat. "You can say what you like when you've been safely ensconced in a cell."

"Please, I'm not the man you want."

"I'll listen to your stories in jail, I find I'm in a particularly bad mood."

The young lord offered his manacles to be used on Mr. Woodley as the storm finally let up outside.

Finny then asks what the dark red liquid in Miss Irene's luggage was. Jeremy explains that it's the extract taken from the Red Perilla, a plant which has an anti-aging effect. "Shall we have a drink?" You were about to send Mey-rin for the wine glasses but knowing her, she'd run and break the glasses, so you went to fetch them instead. You stood looking outside while everyone toasted to the case's closing.

"Something troubling you Miss?"

"Oh, no Jeremy," you giggled, "Just wondering when London weather will ever make up its mind."

Notes:

Black Butler and its characters belong to Yana Toboso, you belong to yourself. The ideas in this story are mine. If you see it anywhere else besides here on Quotev from @TitaniaAyuzawa and on Wattpad from @Sakura1408xdxd please report. :) Enjoy

Chapter 31: His Butler, Burial

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Today was the day.

You couldn't believe it, there would be a funeral for him, the one you had never thought you would have to bury. It was a pain to get up, even though you were doubtful about Sebastian being dead, you will have to face reality sooner or later. Finding a better black dress for mourning you put it on and took a laced hat, flattened your hair and put it on pulling the lace down to cover half of your face. A single rose that he gave you the night he gave you your ring sat in your lap as you remembered the way he danced with you at Druitt's soiree. You shook tears out of your eyes, no, you won't cry that's confirming he's dead.

Mey-rin came knocking on your door. "Y/n we need to go now." She had a similar black dress and a normal hat on without the lace, her hair was down and it was obvious she had been crying. Getting up to walk with her out the door you stuffed your rose under your throw over and you went to the church with everyone.

~

How ironic to have his funeral at a church considering he was a demon. The service was small and went smoothly, now came time to actually put him in the ground. You were becoming anxious, twisting the ring around your finger and walking out with Mey-rin at your side was scaring you. This was the hard part, arriving at the hole in the ground that was already dug by the Undertaker they lowered him without mercy. Every foot he went down wrenched your gut like a hand wringing a washrag, Undertaker threw dirt over the coffin until it was fully covered...and the young Master put lilies on his grave. The headstone read, "May you be in heaven an hour before the devil knows you're dead." You were almost tempted to laugh, how ironic.

"Ciel! He promised he'd stay with you forever. How dare Sebastian lie like that, how dare he! How dare he!" Lady Elizabeth was a total mess with tears running down her flushed face but not as much as Mey-rin and Finny. They were hysterical Mey-rin had her glasses off rubbing her red eyes while Finny bawled out completely. You, Bard, Tanaka, Undertaker, and the young master were the only ones not crying. The young master turned and started walking away from the grave with Lady Elizabeth and Prince Soma at his side. You approached the grave and you took a deep breath and sighed. "Wake up wake up wake up," you whispered hoarsely through your veil. Tears were threatening to spill and grow flowers of their own on his grave. You grabbed your rose from under your throw over and held it close. "I really... thought I wouldn't need this but- "

Ring-ring

You couldn't believe it, the grave bell was ringing.

'He's alive'

A single tear rolled down your cheek, your mouth was open in shock.

"Let's get him out of there," you moved out of the way and joined the young master and the Undertaker at the side of his gravestone. They dug him up speedily and opened the coffin. A hand came out throwing up some of the lilies that were buried with him, everyone gasped as Sebastian sat up. His velvety voice was like music to your ears, "It was getting quite cramped inside that box. I assume you're all- oh." Everyone jumped on him trying to give him a hug, dropping their tears and snot on him they accidentally gave him a small bruise on his head. "Everyone please collect yourself."

"As long as I've been at this job I've never seen one of those ring before, lucky we made that a safety coffin my lord." said the Undertaker leaning on his shovel. "Yes, we did indeed." They both had smug looks on their faces. "Permission to permanently put him in a grave sir?" you too had a smug look on your face, after all the emotions you went through you were going to make him want to end his cursed eternity. "It's a miracle! Thank you oh Gods" cried Agni.

After all the relieved crying Sebastian was allowed to get up, his face quite disgustingly wet the young master gave him a handkerchief to clean up. Tanaka came to give Sebastian back his pin, "A butler dying before his master? How unforgivable" he laughed a walked off towards the small crowd of now cheerful people. The young lord turned towards him, "Tanaka has the right of it Sebastian, from now on you are once again my butler." Sebastian kneeled in front of the young master, "Yes my lord."

His usual smirk adorned his face, you glowed with relief.

"Now I believe you have someone to face," the young master smirked and turned on his heels while Sebastian turned to you he gave you a closed eye smile.

"My dear I-" you smacked his face without mercy, just to make a point. His eyes turned fuchsia and you walked off, "Such a prideful little creature."

His arm snaked around your waist and he drew you back in as he leaned down. Paying him no mind you looked straight ahead to see that they were almost out of the cemetery. Feeling his breath on your neck gave you goosebumps, "I'll make it up to you," he cooed in your ear. Finally looking at him you glared and gave him a fleeting kiss on his cheek he released you, "You have no choice Jeremy."

Walking off to the carriages he corrected Lady Elizabeth that he never lies.

Notes:

Black Butler and its characters belong to Yana Toboso, you belong to yourself. The ideas in this story are mine. If you see it anywhere else besides here on Quotev from @TitaniaAyuzawa and on Wattpad from @Sakura1408xdxd please report. :) Enjoy

Chapter 32: His Butler, Making Up

Summary:

Smut :)

First smut leave me alone ty💀💀

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Sebastian had a hell of a lot to make up, there was the matter with Beast and now this. That night after putting the young master to bed with a cup of warm milk he paid you a visit. You knew he was coming so you wore your nightgown with the buttons undone all the way. You sat on your bed waiting in the dimly lit room. Suddenly your candlelight went out and you felt Sebastian on top of you, his face nuzzled into your neck and he breathed deeply, "Y/n are you going to stay cross with me?" He began placing butterfly kisses down your neck yet you wouldn't budge you crossed your arms and he stopped and looked at you. "Make. It. Up... Everything" he smirked at your boldness, you were pissed and wanted to wipe that smirk off his face, everything he did recently was coming back to your mind. Starting at your feet he made his way up to your lips with his feathery kisses. "Look at me grovelling for a human, what makes you so special I will never know." He gently grabbed your chin and passionately kissed you, seeing you unfazed he traced his finger down your nightgown which opened up as if it was slashed with a knife and began to kiss you all over your chest and over to your shoulders groaning into your neck. "You're so mad you're not even shying away. Look at you, like a queen on your throne demanding I please you." You didn't speak, simply unfolding your arms you grabbed his tie and brought him closer between your legs, placing your tongue in his mouth you began to dance a dangerous dance, feeling hot in his mouth you pulled away but he grabbed your chin continually kissing you. It became sloppy on your end and you needed to breathe, it felt like you were going out of consciousness and he let you go for a breather, sliding down your ripped nightgown and folding it as if that was necessary, you started to undo his tailcoat. Feeling the material was satisfying as you slid it off his shoulders and began to work on his other bits of attire until you removed his pocket watch and started playing with it. He sighed and started removing the rest of his clothing. "You can be childish when you want to be you know," he said while removing his gloves off with his teeth. "Bratty is more like it," he mumbled. Suddenly grabbing his pocket watch and setting it down he spread your legs and started to rub your clit while attaching his lips to your neck, your pout fled your face as you felt yourself becoming steadily wet and you let a moan slip. Thrusting a finger into you, you gripped his shoulder at the sudden entrance, "Mm, is that how you make up to me?" he picked his head up with a smirk, your eyes had more traces of fuchsia in them as you stared at him, his lips parted in shock from seeing that.

He pulled out his finger from your core and licked up your wetness from his finger. "It's been so long since I deflowered you, yet it feels just as tight," his smirk was so arrogantly plastered on his face as you looked away embarrassed. He put that same finger in your mouth and placed his self at your entrance before entering painfully slow. The moan he drew from you was one of who was deprived of sexual desire, finally being able to find release. "That was quite nice kitten~ do it again." Grinning, he started thrusting his hips into yours, the sounds your bodies produced turned you on even more. His movements were leisurely and driving you insane with every stroke. "Mm Sebastian.." you pleaded with him. He advanced his pace slamming his hips into yours, he loved your inability to keep quiet. He loved pushing you over the edge with his words and physicality. Teasing you into a hot mess until you couldn't take it anymore, then giving you what you wanted most from him. His hand travelled from your mouth to your throat as he slowly drove into you, leaning in he inhaled your scent, "You drive me insane you know."

You felt yourself about to cum and you clenched around his length earning a throaty groan from him, he began abusing your chest leaving red and purple hickeys on your skin. You arched your back suddenly and moaned loudly clenching harder around Sebastian as you cummed, being the demon he was he continued smirking at your facial expression as you were beginning to feel overstimulated. You pushed lightly at his chest, "Sebastian, let me take over love." you said as you traced his collarbone with your finger. He stopped abruptly, your voice was dripping with lust and your eyes were just as lustful, the small traces of fuchsia in your eyes burned brightly in the darkness. You changed positions so he was laying and you were sitting by his knees. Taking his length in your hand, you began to stroke him. He was taken aback by your actions as his breaths became shallow. "Kitten~" he murmured and closed his eyes, you seized this opportunity to take his length in your mouth, he quickly sat up propped by his elbows and popped his eyes open. It felt weird to have him in your mouth but it seemed like he enjoyed it so you continued. Tracing up his length with the tip of your tongue you stared at him, "Tell me demon of mine, could Beast make you feel this good? Hmm?" your sudden dominance was sending him over the edge you could feel him twitching as you slid your mouth back over him. He grabbed the sheets with one hand, "N-no darling."

He growled trying to compose himself, still trying to maintain his role as master in the bedroom. You licked his sensitive tip earning a gasp and crawled up to him trailing butterfly kisses as you went up, and stroked him while whispering in his ear. "If you were to truly die, would you be able to feel this still?" Spreading your kisses and love bites in the crook of his neck, his free hand grabbed your waist as you heard the desperation in his voice, he wanted to cum. "Ahh... no." He was vulnerable under you, not being able to resist your touch He shut his eyes ready for release, but the only thing released was his length from your hand. "I didn't think so".

Disappointed was an understatement, mad was probably an understatement as well. He grabbed you and flipped you over, your face hit the pillows and your wrists were pinned above your head. His lips travelled to your mark and left the largest hickey on your body. Chuckling darkly he traced your curves with his idle hand, "Oh my dear, didn't your parents ever tell you not to play with a demon?" Sebastian rammed into your dripping wet core causing you to arch your back, his pace was inhumane and you were beginning to lose your balance due to the amount of pleasure. You gripped the sheets in your fists and bit your pillow to keep from screaming. Small grunts of pleasure were stripped from you with each thrust, tears formed at the edge of your eyes. "Stay upright unless you want to be punished kitten." He knew you all too well, dropping down to your elbows since you didn't want to be punished just yet, it allowed you a little time to try and keep it together. He grabbed your hair forcing you to arch your back even more, his length delving deeper into you driving out a scream of sensual pleasure from you, "Upright, not leaning. On your hands." Letting go of your hair, his hand travelled down to the crook of your neck gripping it tightly. You couldn't take it anymore you collapsed onto the bed your hands and legs gave in. You heard Sebastian growl demonically he flipped you over to face him, panting you yelped as he grabbed your chin, "I know your little game princess it won't work this time." He placed you on his lap and laid back on the headboard. "Ride."

Beaten at your own game. Only Sebastian could turn this on you. You hated riding him. You felt self-conscious that you weren't doing it right, and where were you supposed to look? Downright embarrassing in your head. "What? No longer cocky are you? Where's that fire that was in your eyes love? Hmm?"

You whined at him, "You could do this or get no sleep tonight," he said.

You tsked at him, he knew how you loved to sleep, but you wouldn't mind him intentionally keeping you up like this. Before you realized what you were doing he was smirking and noticed that your hips were moving, gaining a bit of confidence you grabbed on to his chest and shoulders, he ran his hand up your back making you moan a bit louder. "I- I'm gonna!!" Sebastian gripped your waist and smirked up at you his demonic side slipping, fangs bared for you to admire. You cried out loudly as you cummed all over Sebastian's length.

"So fast? We've barely gotten started."

Placing you back on your back gently, he slipped back inside your wet core. "Mmm." He held your legs open so your tired figure wouldn't have to. Slowly, deeply, a glutton for the power he had over you in bed. Dominance is his expertise, having you take it away for a moment didn't sit well with him. Back in charge and slowly sending you into bliss with you whining for more despite how physically exhausted you were, he roamed your body with his hands letting you rest your legs on his hips. There it was again, the knot in your stomach making you clench around him like you were trying not to climax as fast as you did just now. "Mm, oh really kitten? Clench again, I dare you." Just from him saying that made you clench out of reflex. Hoping he didn't notice that, you tried to steady your breathing while he picked up the pace. "Sebastian!"

His eyes flashed, "Yes, call my name." Trying not to clench wasn't working, your climax was building with every stroke, "Sebastian!!" you clenched harder than you had before pushing your hands on his chest. Breathing hard, your chest visibly rising and falling he hoisted your legs over his shoulders. "Wow two punishments in one night, I'm starting to think you enjoy being punished." His lips met yours in a hot kiss and he moved slowly, gradually increasing his pace with every stroke. Your hand made it to his hair and gripped it tight while your other dug its nails into the skin on his back. That was it for you, you cummed again bringing your nails down leaving scratch marks and cuts down his entire back. He hissed, eyes burning bright as he continued to ravage you like a beast, you couldn't take it anymore, "AGH SEBASTIAN!" your voice cracked as you screamed in pleasure. Tears formed at the corners of your eyes, your breathing became hoarse and ragged, and he cummed right then and there, his length in you the deepest it could possibly be. Slowly pulling out so he didn't hurt you he managed to wedge his way beneath you, making you as comfortable as possible he pulled the covers over the both of you. You truly knew the meaning of "not being able to walk for a week" for your lower region hurt like hell. "Was I too rough kitten?" he pet your hair planting soft kisses.

"Oh... that was rough? I hadn't noticed," you laughed making your lower region hurt and the rest of your body tense up. He chuckled deeply, "Never tango with a demon, kitten~" and you fell asleep to his sultry voice praising you.

Notes:

Black Butler and its characters belong to Yana Toboso, you belong to yourself. The ideas in this story are mine. If you see it anywhere else besides here on Quotev from @TitaniaAyuzawa and on Wattpad from @Sakura1408xdxd please report. :) Enjoy

Chapter 33: His Butler, Explaining

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

April 1888~

"Have I not dispelled your worries? You cannot carry my bastard child. You're just sore, I may have gone too deep." He put his fingers to his chin and smirked. You had been awake for some time worrying about if you would get pregnant. This isn't the first time you've had this conversation but every time he insists that it wasn't possible, but you overthink everything. What else does he expect?

"Your ego had better go down a peg or two by the time I get back." You shoved the white sheet off of your hot body and rolled over and off the bed, the back of your nude body on display for Sebastian illuminated by the breaking of dawn sunlight through your window. Opening your wardrobe you hoped your robe was not in the laundry room to be washed. There in the back, your light grey fuzzy robe was on a hanger. You put it on and tied the string tight around your waist noticing you weren't sore from walking, how nice.

"And where are you going?"

"To get something hot to drink," you said about to open your door.

"You truly need spectacles, my dear."

"Hmm?" You looked up at your desk to see a tray of steaming hot milk and a delightful breakfast consisting of a mix between your favourites and your needs. "You just wanted to see me get up huh?"

"Couldn't miss that," he patted the bedside and beckoned you to sit. Forgetting all elegance you dropped yourself on the bed eager to indulge in the breakfast he provided. His bare chest served as discipline for your posture, your legs felt smooth against the bedsheets as you sat there.

"Thank you," you pecked him on his cold nose. The both of you stayed like that talking about nonsensical topics and pointless gossip. You never were one for idle chit chat but you were comfortable talking to him, no facade necessary, no need to force anything. And for the first time in a while, you were truly happy.

"Oh yeah about the case-"

"You're smarter than you give yourself credit for," he waved folded papers in his hand. "How did y-"

"You're not very good at hiding things. From me at least."

"Touché," taking the papers from him you sipped on your hot milk. "Let me get this straight. I know it was Lord Grey but how did the young lord know he was going to do that? Since it wasn't Woodley how'd you-"

He slowly tugged on the string around your waist letting it hang loose, your robe slowly opening out as you talked. You didn't notice until you let out a breathy moan, his cold hand was toying with your heat. "Continue kitten, I'm sure you can control yourself." Gripping the cup you continued talking, unconsciously spreading your legs to give him much easier access. His finger entered you making you throw your head back and moan, "A- about, Mr... Mr. Phelps. Where did- ah- the snake come from?" You struggled a bit as his skilled fingers performed their magic, leaning your head into his chest he laid up so he was sitting behind you. He fully undid the robe letting it slide off your body his hand spreading your legs even more and his free hand playing with your sensitive buds. "You'll know about that soon enough." He inserted another finger and sped up his pace, burying his two fingers knuckle deep and curling to hit a sweet spot. The obscene sounds your wet cavern made only satisfied both of you more. Moving his fingers he placed his length at your entrance a thrusted with no mercy making you cry out. He grabbed your neck squeezing a bit and forcing your head to face forward.

A mirror, showing how you succumb to every touch. "I do remember something we discussed," he smirked at you in the mirror. "I now truly understand Marquis de Sade's words," his hand travelled to your sensitive bud making you scream, "A whore for me and only me, look kitten how you respond to my touch. Falling apart at its command, so very vulnerable, no one can make you feel the way I do hmm? No man can break that cold facade you display for the world. One touch is all it takes from me my sweet."

God his words... must he word the truth like that.

~

Awkward day today in the kitchen.

Snake, along with his snakes joined the staff at the Phantomhive manor. All the snakes came into the kitchen before he did, scaring the crap out of Mey- rin, Finny, and Bard. Sebastian walked forward and practically dragged Snake into the kitchen, apparently he wasn't as outgoing as his snakes who were wrapping themselves on various things in the kitchen making themselves at home quite fast. Bard and Mey-rin were still creeped out while Tanaka and Finny were fast to make friends with some of the snakes already, one draped on Finny's shoulder and Tanaka petting one that was on the ground. "I... I'm Snake. N... Nice to meet you. Says Oscar. Hi Beauty, says Emily." Emily was currently tangled in your hair, you put your hand out and she jumped, well what passes for a jump, onto your arm and veered her head to you, her forked tongue sticking out. This explains the Black Mamba in the house.

"Ummm, so it's Oscar?" Finny was confused.

"No! This one is Snake and I'm Oscar!... Says Oscar," Snake began naming the various snakes but Sebastian interrupted.

"Yes yes, we'll talk about those other "servants" another time. He'll be a footman from now on. Please work together."

[toxicbubblegum212]

Bowers Gang ~ All the shit you would get up to ~

Hey want more check out my masterlist

Masterlist here (click me)

Henry:

- You two are some wild motherfuckers!!!!

- You and Henry do all the bad things!

- I speak for the gang when i say "we all would not be surprised if you planed to rob a bank at some point."

- The two of you would drink, smoke, dope all of it

- The wildest thing the two of you have done is cause a high way chase with a stolen vehicle (not belches thank god) got out, ran on foot and some how got away for police.

- The two of you are just as twisted as each other which made it all the more perfect.

- Your next biggest plan is to teach Victor and Henry how to count cards. Yes you plan beat the gambling system and become rich..its still a work in process but your sure your positive it ill pay up some day.

- You also taught Henry how to pickpocket, not that henry is good at it but it's getting better.

- The two of you could jack cars as you learn't how to high jack the system and start the car up.

- You and Henry are quite the team, your skills are what made Henry so interested in you. When he learn't more about you he grew to love the Thrill just like you do.

- The thrill of getting caught, the thrill of getting shot. Its insane yes but you do you both love it.

- only if it was possible to get high off a thrill....

- You also taught Henry how to live life and enjoy it a bit more.

- You invited him over to your aunt and uncles and taught him how to ride dirt bikes. Now its the only thing he wants to do.

- Soon enough the two of you will be racing up and down the streets of Derry.

Patrick :

- Patrick loves but also can't stand how fucking cunning you are.

- Your even worse then him!

- Your can say out loud that you have figured out Patrick hockstetter.

- Even Patrick is a bit intimidated.

- At first he wanted to kill you cause you knew to much plane and simple.

- But sadly the group took a liking to you and thought that you should not only stay but join.

- Patrick did not like it one bit, you were able to do things that made him feel uncomfortable.

- Patrick got pissed off, he didn't like the amount of control you had over him. Then he realised that he had met his match.

- The two of you made peace and thats when your both started reeking havoc on the kids in Derry.

- You personally had a thing for Greta, you just wanted to see her suffer so bad. Simply because it would be amusing.

- You didn't know what to do, punch her so hard in her face that it breaks her nose or shoving your heel through her eye socket.

- Patrick loves this side of you, you were unbelievably sexy...to him at least.

- Both you and Patrick were psycho.

- The gang is petrified of the both of you.

- You have proven yourself fully capable of handling Henry and they see no difference if you were to take on an Adult or the older year levels.

- You and Patrick have considered kidnapping people to torture before but never when through with it.

- You are both masters of manipulation so if you both want something the chances are of you both getting it are extremely high.

- You taught Patrick the beauty of strategy and hey taught you the art of trickery others.

- Henry thrived off your skills, you took on other gangs. You could easily spot weakness in both fighting and through normal conversation.

- Patrick and Henry would act on your word and soon beat the crap out of the student both emotionally and physically.

- You and Patrick are good together but bad for everyone else that isn't in your good books.

- "Joker to his Harley" is what many refer to you both as.

- That doesn't mean that things between you and Patrick don't get tense.

- There's a lot of pain and love in the things you both do but thats what makes you want each other all the more.

Victor:

- You and victor honestly don't get up to bad stuff you just hangout with the not so appropriate people...

- Both you and victor often just enjoy each others time.

- Victor takes you out to many places like the beach, restaurants, movies all that.

- You and Victor are both pretty level headed people so you both get along well.

- However you and victor are badass if anyone was to rub one of you the wrong way.

- You have victors back and he's got yours.

- It's this bond that made you both grow closer and trust each ultimately resulted in your beautiful relationship.

- Victor respected you end of.

- When it came to beating up kids victor was never overly violent.

- But with your presents its a different story, especially is someone is threatening you.

- You and Victor pull up just to kick ass

- It's just like in the cartoons.

- The both of you have fun tho, you laugh and giggle.

- You and Victor after growing close actually go over to each others houses quite frequently.

- You gave Victor the keys and he gave you his so you can freely pop over anytime.

- Victor always spends the night with you, he comes back late and a tipsy but you trust him.

- Victor just wants you to be happy even if its not with him...

Blech:

- You and belch are super chill.

- Expect rides in the Trans am 24/7

- Don't be surprised if Belch wants you to come on a road trip with him and his family.

- Belch takes you sometimes, he's usually occupied by the gang but you respect that.

- Just like Belch you share your own interest in cars, you plan to get a mustang.

- You also know quite a bit about drag racing, drifting, street racing etc.

- This stresses the hell out of Belch but he admits it's cool to watch.

- You end up teaching him a couple of moves here and there...

- Henry fucking loves it when your driving!!!

- Everyone else however has like a 5 second heart attack.

- Henry likes it so much he's made you get away driver!

- Belch teaches you a lot abut car parts and how they work, which you appreciate since you know it will defiantly become handy some day.

- Belch takes you out to parts with him and always invites you over to dinner.

- Your two families get along so you often spend time together during Christmas eve.

- The craziest thing you both have done is street race all over Derry and not get caught by the cops.

- You both were ridiculously luck that day

[ricaffeine]

𝐇𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐥 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐋𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 | 𝐎𝐧𝐞

an: i'm sad because of hyunji drought and this is helping me cope :( but fr if tvn decides to make hotel blue moon then yeaji needs to be in it!!

also very annoying, i can't reply to comments bc this is a side blog (bruh wtf tumblr, i'm so sad should i make a new one?) reblog if you feel like it and my asks are open if you wanna chat 🖤✨

CHAPTER TWO

Weekdays at Seoul's National art gallery were usually the same. Buzzing curators dealing with hot-tempered clients. One thing or another was typically going not right and art directors cried about their wrong coffee order.

Although today was not the usual as to the crowds of bubbly news reporters and dazzled art critiques swarming up the wide place. As to Munyeong on the other hand, she was not pleased to the slightest.

"Just smile at the cameras, don't forget about the paycheck you're getting today." Sangin repeated himself for the fifth time. "Don't cause a scene, just think about the money."

Ah right. The paycheck.

As to The Nightmare Garden was bid off for over ten-million dollars, all of today's fanciness was dedicated to her, nation's celebrated female illustrator. However in all honesty, Munyeong barely liked her so-called masterpiece, but considering the amount of cash it will make her, she could be appreciative for the sake of it.

Behind her oversized sunglasses, Munyeong glared at her pesky manager– if looks could kill, he'd already be eleven feet under his grave. Sangin shut his mouth.

"Let's just get this over with," she simply responded, hooking off her eyewear then strutted into the hall with her long legs. Eyes whipped at her and cameras started to flash intensely, almost blinding her and Munyeong wondered how much those little pests could afford her if they got her blind.

And so the event played on. More pictures were taken– as if they hadn't blind her enough cheerful compliments flowed along with the spring breeze. The insincere joker smile she mastered whilst she met her million-dollar client– according to Sangin a hotel owner, though the woman did not have the looks for it– and the glass of filthy wine she almost had a chance to taste if Sangin's sixth sense was not so creepily fast.

Another dreadful two hours later as the dusk had set, hitting the edges with its golden flare, everyone had left. They got their articles and Munyeong will certainly be getting her pools of cash.

To her displease Sangin had informed her to wait as he had to take care of some paperworks she doubted he went to bribe the press into censoring her quoted inappropriate words. 

Nevertheless it was not her bother. She gave his plead a second before storming off to the complimentary section of the building.

Luck on her side, for nobody was there and she was able to grab one of the wine bottles with her– as for a fact it definitely was not stealing.

"Don't be shy, I know you want it."

Munyeong stopped within her steps as soon as an obnoxiously familiar voice echoed from the gallery she previously was in. Curiosity taking the lead, she peaked through the corner and had to muffle her own snort. Stood there, nation's art historian with the sharpest tongue– Choi Seojin.

She finds it hard to believe that his articles are highly known around, or even relevant, when his mouth is full of complete shit. However not disregarding the nastiest tea yet– a frightened girl seized under him. Her hands were locked, frightened eyes grew larger as the man spewed out nasty things.

Instantly, she took out her phone to film the disgraceful scene. Munyeong grinned to herself, reminiscing the rage she felt last time when he mentioned about her mother, and how her irritating manager had interrupted her before she could've sent him down the stairs to Satan.

The man reared into the poor girl's cheek when she attempted to fight him off, and Munyeong's smile dropped.

That piece of shit.

Munyeong entered the room, arms crossed, head high. Her wedge heels clicked against the hardwood as she let out an unamused wow.

Mad dog– what she personally thinks he should be called– 's head whipped at her with wide eyes. Like a child getting caught of lying.

"Oh my. Your hobbies are quite interesting Mr. Choi. Talking shit and sexual harassment?" Munyeong spat. "The girl looks like she'd rather kill herself, why are you even trying?"

As if he thought he could get away with what he just did, mad dog released his foul grip on the girl. Munyeong clicked her tongue and tauntingly held out her phone.

"Oh no, don't bother pretending. Judging by the looks, that won't even favor you at this point." She spared a glance at the quivering girl. "Why are you waiting? Go."

Shakingly and with thankful eyes she nodded and left, her footsteps filling void of silence before it coated the air again.

Mad dog snickered, as if there was something to laugh about. "Don't mess with me Ms. Ko. You know me, I won't die alone."

"Certainly I'll drag you and Mr. Lee down with me. Why do you think they call me the suicide bomb?"

Munyeong walked towards him and spreaded a smile, though even dogs could tell you shouldn't push her further. "You mean the bastard you can't fall down without dragging everyone else with him? Why?"

"I can destroy your career with the tip of my pen, I'm sure you know." He gave her a look, panning out his hand. "Now if you hand me your phone, I think we can compromise something."

Munyeong unraveled her arms, eyes hardening at his next sentence. "You think so?"

"Nation's beloved artist turned out to have antisocial personality disorder. What do you think will happen when people find out?" Mad dog sneered. "Her mother who mysteriously commited suicide–"

"Shut up." She warned. His words lit up the flame from their last encounter, adding fuel to her burning fire. Her head pounded, hard. For a moment she had hoped that if he proceeded as she said, then things would not have to get ugly.

"And her father? Spending his last days in the psychiatric hospital."

But men never listen, do they?

Munyeong tightened the hand around her bottle and striked it at him with full force. The bottom part crashed the wall behind him– just above the hung painting- glass shattered as rich burgundy stained its way down, smearing all over. Its taste fused with the air and Munyeong glowered at the creature who dodged her flawless aim.

"You crazy bitch!" He yelled, scrambled on the floor. But Mad dog was quick to lunge at her, they both hit the ground, stumbling as her open purse had been knocked away– and Munyeong's eyes landed on something very specific.

She was quicker, getting on her feet and spared the bastard a strong kick in the groin, leaving him groaning as she reached for her pen.

Her favorite calligraphy pen– its lining was stunning, coated in shiny teal with hints of gold, but most importantly, the dangerously sharp tip. The way it writes like reaping out blood from your hand– hence why it is a favorite.

She hawled back over and he screamed at her, though she didn't hear him. Her head was light as she felt blood rushed through her veins. Munyeong raised her arm and struck it back down.

Die.

Both of them froze. No, not her and mad dog, but him.

Deafening silence had lied between the walls and there they stood, eyes pierced into another's souls. Hers burned like fire, but his were dignified like the deep ocean.

Droplets of blood trickled down his forearm and splattered the floor, staining the rolled up sleeves of his crisp white shirt. What a waste.

"Let go. You can't kill him." The man– still with a bloody pen graved in his palm said.

Munyeong couldn't help but scoff, especially after that fucking bastard had just strangled her. "Don't be dramatic. I was just going to give him a few scratches."

Well maybe that's not entirely true.

Rough scrambling erupted underneath them, but when Munyeong turned to look, the mad dog had just ran off, like a lost puppy. Angrily she bit her lip, close to drawing blood until she felt the man draw his own hand back.

She watched as he did. The way he carefully slid her pen into his jacket and brought out a black silk handkerchief. Very rarely, she'd be astonished by something, and now it's him. Though she found it quite difficult to understand him– since when do you interrupt another's stabbing session by screwing up your own hand instead, and also the audacity to tell her she could not stab somebody?

So lost in her thoughts it took her a few seconds to realize her pulse was not pounding anymore.

"Did anyone not tell you that it is basic etiquette to not pry into someone else's business?" Munyeong said– seized the napkin from him, and began to tie a knot. She shot him a glance.

No reply. The man simply stared at her.

"Hmm?" She raised a brow, amused at his slight flinch when she tugged a little harder.

"Don't stress it too much, my manager will take care of our little incident." Munyeong chuckled as he proceeded to ignore her. "Do you know what? There are a lot of people in this world who deserve to die. And some very thoughtful freaks secretly take care of that, so clueless humans can sleep peacefully at night, completely unaware. Which one do you think I am?"

She dropped his hand, anticipating for his answer. Flares of light shined through the blinds, sharpening at his strong features and she noted his small– yet devilish smile.

"A clueless freak."

He finally responded, leaning towards her. His eyes traced her face, gazing down at her lips for a second too long, before their eyes were locked once again. "And of course you will have to pay, but at what price?"

taglist -> i could not tag some of ya'll :( @anotherdush @callmeashipper @ourcoffeeaddictme @nothingcreativeyet @pancat @hotstuff-benswolo @lookingatthesunset @evielovesfood @waywarm @gloster @hello-79 @ailander

[bangchanswolfpelt]

yeahhhh you get me you GET me (i'm about to word vomit at you so i'm sorry in advance)

- i too have no romantic/sexual feelings towards seungkwan, he's simply My Boy i wanna be his best friend and fight people for him and peel him tangerines

- wonwoo is. *deep breath* he sure is. the joker performance. i-

- skz minho is just so CHAOTIC and i love that in a man, but channie is perfect bf material and hyunjin is so pretty and soft and talented???? and the long hair????? girl help (gender neutral)

- seungmin is like that... he seems so innocent and sweet until you notice how much he teases both stays and the members and let me tell you there was a Specific vlive where i went OOP 😳 but i can never find it ;w;

- PLSS hongjoongie was my bias until (and this is so shallow and hilarious) he cut his hair before kingdom. i don't like short-short hair on men like, attraction-wise (short-short hair's not really my thing unless it's a woman doing it) but black cat nero hongjoong had me in a vice grip and seonghwa with the curly longer black hair deja vu era is climbing up the ladder.

- if u didn't notice i really like long haired pretty boys. this may have been the catalyst for gyu coming dangerously close to toppling junnie as my txt bias during lover loser era. HE WORE A SHORT PLEATED SHIRT AND HAD LONG HAIR WITH HIGHLIGHTS AND I AM WEAK. I LOVE A PROUD ANDROGYNOUS LOOKING MAN SECURE IN HIS MASCULINITY

- also when hyunjin cut his hair i was devastated i went through the 5 stages of grief and invented 2 more (denial 2, astral projection)

- oh god, iu. iu is SO. god. my friends still make fun of me bc the day after i binged half of hotel the luna i spent the entire time explaining the plot but had to stop every 2 minutes to inform them of how Pretty that woman is. like. she is SO PRETTY AND TALENTED I CAN'T

- and yeah i know sunmi's song tail (moreso the mv than the song itself, but the choreo SLAPS you should watch the studio choom dance) is a representation of the way that women are cast aside and seen as "garbage" after they're "ruined" or "spoiled" because they were used by men!!

- i love eaj!!! love that he's more free and able to speak his mind now, love his music, love his dynamic with other idols (his podcast with aleXa, who is a sweetheart, is adorable and hilarious)

- JESSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII I LOVE HER THAT IS ALL

- dpr music is SO GOOD

- eric nam is hilarious and i love his music i would die for this man. i would've bullied him in high school (affectionate).

- seori's vocals in txt's ikily and her own stuff are so pretty! her collabs with eaj were *chef's kiss*

- what are your opinions on jay park swoony i'd like to hear them

- lisa in how you like that slammed me into the ground and stepped on me in high heels jesus fuck

- THE SUNWOO LINK I- 👁️👄👁️ he's one of my ult biases he's like. a whiny baby who wants attention. but also he could 100% top me. ultimate cutie boyfriend and actively encourages deobis to see him like that????? gets jealous when deobis watch other idols???? incredible performer???? just wants affection???? would fuck me into the mattress but also want headpats afterwards??? what a switchy nightmare of a boy. i want to tie him up but i also want to sit in his lap

- not gonna ask u to get into the boyz bc i know you are Overwhelmed enough by ur own new boys, but just a little taste: sangyeon has daddy energy similar to chan, kevin is an unprecedented meme queen named after the kid from home alone, jacob is a Sweet Boy, new and q are chaotic and incredibly pretty besties, and younghoon's nickname is bread.

WHEW ok im done the word vomit is over <333 sorry its a million words long

xoxo honey 🍯

holy shit, this is SO LATE, i'm sorry you got buried in my drafts, boo 💀

Seungkwan is Best Boy, absolutely!! i just wanna sit in the stands with a camcorder while he murders people, he's precious perfect son

god, JOKER, i simply cannot—i had no idea that was Wonwoo when i first saw it, i didn't know his voice well enough to recognize it yet and also just wasn't expecting THAT to come out of HIM????? so i was losing my mind trying to figure out who it was and then lost it even more when the mask came off 🤡 the entire HHU is fucking insane honestly, we gotta talk about a HHU gangbang one of these days now that Vernon's on his hot bitch shit 💀

there were SO MANY weird anecdotes i heard about stray kids before i got into them that i found out later were ALL Minho—him telling Stays he hoped they’d fall into a toilet, stuffing tissue into Hyunjin’s mouth, the terrifying snow filters 😂 he was honestly making me fall in love with him before i even knew who he was, it's absurd. and i think i get what you mean by teasing—i remember that one fancall where he was very slyly 'are you into younger men?', plus the way he was shamelessly flirting with Eunkwang during kingdom 👀

ahahahaha, i get you with the short hair!! when i was just getting into them, i also definitely thought that was Unfortunate 😒 but haircut/style can become a nonissue for me if i like someone enough and Joongie very quickly reached the point where he’d be attractive to me no matter what his hair looked like 😭 like, if he shaved his head, i might cry but id still want to peg him 😭😭😭 BLACK CAT NERO HONGJOONG MAKES ME DOWNRIGHT FUCKIN FERAL, THO, THE PONYTAIL??? WITH THE WISPIES????? PLEASE RAIL ME IN A GRAVEYARD, SIR

LONG-HAIRED GYU IS TOP TIER GYU and i literally only know one stage of grief when it comes to Hyunjin's hair and it's denial 😌 has it been cut? 😌😌😌 i simply do not see it 😌😌😌😌😌

IU is wild to me because. if i try to explain what makes her stand out, i literally cannot???? like, she's beautiful and talented, but there's something beyond that that just drags your guard down and want to use big dumb words like 'insouciant' and 'vivacious'—she's just so goddamn charming, that woman has a +15 to charisma i swear 😭

the tl;dr on Jay Park is that i find his habit of yoinking artists who seem to have had a rough time with other, bigger companies very amusing, and i think the way that these artists seem to be thriving with him probably says quite a bit about who he is as a person. his biggest sin seems to be saying dumb, problematic bullshit, and when that doesn't get followed up with more serious allegations, i'm more inclined to believe you're just an asshole with no filter rather than like. an actual menace to society. (caveat: i absolutely do not keep up with scandals or really go digging into past ones, so like. do with that what you will.) is the bar very low here? absolutely. but i'm still gonna write about pegging his scrawny ass, and i'm probably still gonna drag my ass up to Seattle to throw a bra on that stage when he gets that ass back on tour.

i'm so glad you enjoyed the fic!!!! i rlly enjoy that particular writer, and when they popped up with a fic about one of the boys who just KEPT catching my eye during kingdom, it felt like an awful, hilarious trap 🤡

i appreciate you not trying to get me into a new group 😭 i am definitely wavering on The Boyz, tho—i don't know how but @tmrwxtg ruined my youtube algorithm and i mainlined a bunch of their mvs today. so far it's still only Sangyeon and Sunwoo who really have my attention, but we'll see how long that lasts 🥴 but also, for someone not trying to get me into a new group, you are SELLING me on Sunwoo—i love a bratty dom, love a boy who's jealous and needy and soft, sign me the fuck up?? 👀👀👀👀

also, i think i remember Kevin!! wasn't he the one who was twerking during the sports episode of kingdom? wait was he ACTUALLY named after Kevin Home Alone????

[whats-rambled-rambled]

Long Nights - playlist

You can find it on Spotify here.

Eddie Vedder - Long nights

I’ve already talked about it in another post a bit, so--

For the first time, I had a full series figured out even before I started writing. All the arcs, main plot points, even the final conversation! I even had a 3h long playlist with all the songs that would come in handy along the way, but still, none of them was the one (so basically same thing that happened with Smoke series)

I started thinking about the main theme and/or drive for our new Reader, and then it hit me. There already is a story with that vibe, and it has such an amazing soundtrack.

So I opened Spotify and browsed through the album.

And I found it.

The overall mood was not something that was going to be helpful at the beginning of the series, but oh my, those lyrics were it for all the things I had planned.

//Have no fear

For when I'm alone

I'll be better off than I was before//

That’s R, all right. Not afraid to be alone, she prefers it. Nothing can hurt her, unlike when she gets too invested. Commitment issues and whatnot.

//Long nights allow me to feel...

I'm falling...I am falling

The lights go out

Let me feel

I'm falling

I am falling safely to the ground//

Knowing what I was about to put R through, this looks only fitting, don’t you think?

Chapter 1: Sigrid - Don’t kill my vibe

I could see LN!R so clearly. I wanted to explore some of my favourite rogue tropes, and she was perfect for it. In my head, she was definitely younger than the other two from my previous series. A bold type, a joker, but serious when it comes to her craft. Not with the same heavy emotional baggage (not at the start, at least - I felt like, opposed to Smoke!R who was more about distracting herself when she felt too much, our new R would be more about denial, or hiding her issues behind her jokes).

I found this song on some random playlist, and I knew it was her.

//You shut me down, you like the control

You speak to me like I'm a child

Try to hold it down, I know the answer

I can shake it off and you feel threatened by me

I tried to play it nice but

Oh-oh-oh, ooh, ooh

Don't kill my vibe

Oh-oh-oh, ooh, ooh

Don't break my stride//

To me, that was that moment she gets dragged into the car. Not having the obvious lies TP feeds her, definitely finding them all and the stuff they throw at her hilarious, calling them out on their bullshit without thinking twice over it.

//Guess you're surprised I'm the puzzle you can't figure out//

That got me an idea for part 2 and the coffee situation - come on, you know I can’t resist that trope when it comes to Neil, I think it’s an excellent way to get to know the characters a little bit and tell something more about the dynamic.

Tom Grennan - I might

To me, it’s another character introduction song.

//Oh I love, oh I love, love my freedom//

....you already know what I’m getting at, right?

//Don't want no one taking up my time

Staying on my mind, changing up my life

Don't want no one messing up my bed

Fucking with my head, it's no lie//

That’s her. R hates to be manipulated, that’s why she’s mad at Mahir. I didn’t want to put all the angst here, but I knew there was something deeper hidden there, after his comment about her trust issues. I didn’t know what exactly, but I knew it would come in handy later.

There was one spin on the story I was playing with - where she actually lets them all lead her on for a while, a whole elaborate ruse to get her invested and onboard, but that was a lot of drama quite early on, and I wanted this to be a lighter series (oh shush, I am well aware how that played out in the end, I tried, alright? Not my fault I apparently can’t come up with a story without sprinkling it with a shitload of angst)

//But when you look at me like that

I might//

See, this is when I stopped. I didn’t think R would be falling head over heels for Neil right from the start. That’s why the heart beating faster at the end of the chapter was supposed to be about the lock and something finally sparking her curiosity, taking her out of the boredom of everyday life.

Kings of Leon - Find me

That’s more chapter-specific.

//I really wanna know your name

See your face, know who you are, who you are

How did ya find me, how did ya find me?

What are you looking for, are you looking for

How did ya find me how did ya find me

Up in the shadow, picking up my load//

I found it quite fitting the moment R meets Neil again and he drags her to a back alley, and then again, in the car. She isn’t scared, more like fascinated, she finds the whole thing exciting, even.

American Authors - I’m born to run

Oh my god, the vibe of this song! This is that need for freedom and carelessness I needed to tap into.

//I'm gonna live my life like I'm gonna die young

Like it's never enough, like I'm born to run

I'm gonna spend my time like tomorrow won't come

Do whatever I want like I'm born to run

I wanna see Paris, I wanna see Tokyo

I wanna be careless even if I break my bones

I'm gonna live my life like I'm gonna die young

Like it's never enough, like I'm born to run

All these things I've seen and done

I live my life like I'm born to run//

The Pretty Reckless - Prisoner

Another random song I found one day while I was cooking breakfast. I was like “oooh, I dig that!” and then I listened to the lyrics and I knew I needed it for this story.

//You could have my body

But you can't have me

I know I'm a criminal

Don't you tell on me//

That’s it. Her. I knew that would be handy for the moment Neil breaks after all the teasing. And that criminal bit. I mean - come on!

Missy Elliot - Work it

(This is technically part 2 but it was messing with the flow on the playlist and I’m leaving it here)

Okay, this is quite meta and corny, because this is probably one of the oldest jokes you can find for Tenet, and I’ve been battling with myself if I should even put it here, but I referenced it in the chapter, so here we are. I’ve loved this song for years, and when I was trying to think what would R listen to while she tries to clear her head while she works on the bloody inverted lock - that was the only thing that seemed appropriate.

//Come on

Is it worth it? Let me work it

I put my thang down, flip it and reverse it

Ti esrever dna ti pilf nwod gnaht ym tup i//

...you see what I mean?

Chapter 2: Praise you

God, okay, this song - when I heard it while I was working on the story, it brought a movie-like montage of scenes in front of my eyes. You know the type, when they try to show you how the time passes, how someone progressively becomes better at something. That was Neil, working on those locks. R giving him tips, then teasing him. The way he loses his cool, only to slowly gain confidence, and then how she ups her game, both of them getting their bits of satisfaction from the whole game.

//We've come a long long way together

Through the hard times and the good

I have to celebrate you baby

I have to praise you like I should//

Have I ever told you when exactly I got the idea for the series? When I was writing that hostage situation fic and the moment R remembers her lockpicking sessions. I thought - what if it was the other way around? What if that was Neil who was about to start learning about picking locks?

It had so much potential for ✨hand content✨ and how could I resist?

...And I knew that R would see what I’m seeing, and she would rather like it. And the image of a very flustered Neil while she teases the hell out of him? Yep, yep, yep.

Sam Fender - Start again

This one definitely starts that montage as well, the repetition of going over and over again. Even if the whole song is definitely heavier than I needed, I decided to keep it, mostly for this part:

//Let's start again

Let's learn to talk

Without the fear of being heard

'Cause everybody's listening to everything and everybody

Let's pull the cord

Move below

Let's start again//

Chapter 3: Billy Raffoul - Difficult

Ah, Billy. And when I found this one, I got goosebumps, because I instantly knew that if I had to choose one song for them, it would probably be this one.

//You never get lost in love, you only get lost in me

You never can get enough of whatever you think you need

No matter how hard I try I never can beat this rush

Ain't nobody get me high, feel lighter when we touch//

This fits them so well, innit? We know how R feels about this whole love thing, she enjoys a good shag, and I had a feeling that after such a build-up, that night together would be something quite amazing, for both of them.

//We never get lost in love, we only get lost in sheets

You'd rather just shut me off whenever we get too deep//

That’s the moment when they have a vibe check in the morning. They had fun. Is it gonna affect their dynamic? They’re attracted to each other, they understand one another. Can they keep it casual? We know that R can, or at least she thinks so, but what about Neil? We know he’s a soft idiot, but I specifically imagined a bit younger version of him for this story - he had to be, if he was just learning about lockpicking. So the whole “no dating, just sex” could be fine with him for a while, but would he catch feelings anyway? Probably, yeah. And sooner than later.

//And now I'm standing in the rain

And your hair, it's falling in your face

And I know we're doing the right thing//

Not the rain, but shower, kinda works too, right? And I already knew that the rain would be a pretty important factor a little bit further into the story.

//But I can't help wondering, who will take my place?//

Ouch.

//On and off, difficult

Too in love to let it go

Now, who's gonna hold me like you do?//

The emotions in this bit, dear lord. It’s this high that takes your breath away, sweeps you off your feet, scorches the reality, and leaves no survivors.

That being said, I don’t think they are really in love at this point. They really care for each other, though, that’s where the softness comes from.

//Hmm who's gonna hold you like I do?//

I literally gasped when I heard that last line. Hits right in the heart, just as I like it.

Rhys Lewis - Waking up without you

There’s something in this song that makes it incredibly sexy. It was great for the morning after vibe, where they don’t really have enough of each other yet.

//Skin on skin

We didn't finish what we started

Heart to heart

I'm missing your love//

Keir - Probably

The way it flows? How powerful the chorus is? It’s heavy, hot, and just makes my heart beat faster.

//Colliding were the walls

And I forget where I began

I wish I could remember love//

Holy fuck. It always makes me think of something awakening deep inside R, definitely not ready to be acknowledged at that moment in the story.

//Probably underneath

There's a remedy

Possibly in the air

In the oxygen I breathe

Probably//

And this part is just mind-blowing. There’s this longing there, and if that feeling isn’t perfect for something more steamy, then I don’t know what is.

Dermot Kennedy - Glory

This one just… expands my heart? I don’t know how else to explain it. Especially the chorus. And then when I think of it in the context of the story, I somehow place it in TP’s office, when Neil gets all protective and doesn’t want to risk taking Reader on a mission where something can so easily go wrong, only because he isn’t prepared enough.

//A set of eyes had pinned him

Became his version of a kingdom

She's everything the devil can't be

When she's singing to me "Glory"//

Maybe that’s when he starts to realize that he cares more than he thought.

Rhys Lewis - Living in The City

If the previous song was Neil’s perspective, we’re back to R. Just look at the lyrics:

//I've been living in the city too long

I've been given everything that I've got

Been a sinner and a saint

Crazy, and sane

I've been living in the city too long//

We’re kinda circling back to part 1, that need to skip town, right?

//There's a part of my soul that wants to let go

Wants to just run away

But the rest of my soul says I should stay

I should stay//

And now we’re back when she can say that the mission is not her problem, she did the best she could, and TP can go fuck himself. Is it just that she feels responsible for her student? Or she likes him enough so she has to make sure he succeeds and comes back? Or she sees a friend in need, something to open, and doesn’t think twice about it?

Chapter 4: Bastille - World gone mad

God, do I love this song.

//So this is where we are

It's not where we had wanted to be

If half the world's gone mad

The other half just don't care, you see

You don't want to fuck with us

British to the very last

When it feels like the world's gone mad

And there's nothing you can do about it

No there's nothing you can do about it//

It felt so accurate for the part when R gets to see all that inverted reality? There’s a slight heaviness of heart there, and it matches the mood when she feels overwhelmed. On the other hand, there’s a bit of hope, the feeling of not being alone in this mad world, and that’s all that matters.

Who’s Molly - Touch the sky

Badass. Pure and simple. It hypes you up, brings a smile to your face, makes you believe everything is possible.

//We can never see beyond that horizon.

And no one knows this road and where it's going to lead.

But there's one thing, one thing that's for certain.

We'll make it through.

If you were here with me.//

That softer bit with inverted guns. And later on, throughout the chapter. They both find comfort in each other’s presence on the mission, after all.

//I wasted so much time trying to find a meaning.

I never looked up, couldn't seem to turn around.

And then you crashed in, and you gave my life a reason.

You pick me up, so high and my feet won't touch the ground, no no no.

Never would have thought I could win this battle.

I was left for dead, every hope in tatters.

We're going to set the world alight tonight.

Cause we can touch the sky!//

That’s the excitement and fun they’re having on the training grounds, not at all stressed about what’s to come.

//Close your eyes, free your soul.

You feel it, don't try it, then you’ll never know.//

Ah, and we’re here at my favourite reference to feeling something, thank you Mr Nolan, sir, so useful.😌

Dermot Kennedy - Young & free

Another one by Dermot Kennedy, and definitely not the last.

//All that she said to me stays with me, never to die

Held me brand new in the silence that went through the pines

Like I said already darling, I don't want you looking back at all the ghosts left behind

Know you'll stay near me so road remains hopeful this time

We were young

We were free, come on now, let it go//

The little whiplash in the mud, where they share a short moment, before they follow with the crackheadery, maybe partly to push back from coming close to something more meaningful. Because it’s there already, kindling, waiting to be spotted and recognized.

James Gillespie - Don’t let me get me

Okay, so - the original song by P!nk was always something that resonated with me, so when Spotify recommended that one, I was like “okay, I’m not sure why but let’s try it.” And then it brought me to that scene in the container.

//I'm a hazard to myself

Don't let me get me

I'm my own worst enemy

It's bad when you annoy yourself

So irritating//

To be honest, I didn’t plan on R to have such a strong case of a mean brain. It was supposed to be a lighter series 🙃. But as you already know, those characters have minds of their own, and it kinda sorta happened. I knew it would be more of a simple panic than full-blown panic attacks that haunted StuckIn!R, topped with pretty loud intrusive thoughts causing her to spiral, especially when she was exhausted.

Ruelle - Oh my my

Listen to that one and tell me you don’t want to go on a sneaky mission, I dare you. I even had it noted as my title song, but then I switched to Bastille.

//I can feel it in my bones, in my bones

Hear it rumble like a drum, like a drum

Like a vapor in the wind, in the wind

You never see us creeping in, creeping in

Oh my my, oh my my

You never stood a chance

...

Ready or not, here we come//

The vibe is just amazing. The low-key hype? Is that a thing? It must be. And those drums! Even quite fitting for a patter of rain, one might argue.

Speaking of rain--

Chapter 5: Dermot Kennedy - After rain

The title alone is perfect for this chapter, but the rest of it - my poor heart. This chapter and the finale have some of the most beautiful and/or heart-wrenching songs I’ve ever heard, and this one is definitely one of them.

//But it's alright because

You cause lanterns to light

And force demons disperse

And if Lucifer may fear the swift drying of tears

Then, for evil, you could not be worse

But I see you now, yeah, I see you

And release me now, kinda like dreams do

And I see you now, was hard to see you

Just don't forget to sing

Remember everything//

So we have Neil storming off from the bathroom because he’s clearly going through something. The immense guilt brewing inside him, overflowing and backfiring, when he can’t cope with seeing her so battered, knowing that she may never fully recover, and just because he hesitated out there. The fear is there, but also other feelings he tries to keep in check now.

I had that image of R asking him to stay, then just breaking down in the darkness. I was aware it would only add to the issues Neil already had, but it would be nothing compared to the fact that she needs him, and he’d be ready to push everything that bothered him away to comfort her.

Humming a lullaby that he promised her in the container. And R recognized it (kind of), because he used parts of it to plead with her to stay with him after the fall, so she could one day hear the whole thing, because she took that rain check and she needed to cash it in, right?

...yeah, I like breaking my own heart, why? (should I write that part one day?)

//If you think just maybe it's her

Then promise me, young man, you're gonna let her know

You won't go lonely, yeah

It'll all be better in the morning

'Cause while you sleep, I'll build a wall//

Aquillo - Six feet over ground

Whenever I hear this song now, my mind goes to that scene in the bathroom.

//Today's the day I found myself alright

When I look ahead, pretend it never came.

I found a way to keep my head above

But the hardest part is to say 'No it's not'

Well I'm okay, and I'm still breathing

I'm still six feet over ground

But you don't need to know now

You don't need to know how I'm doing//

They both hide how they really feel. That they are not okay. They’re both scared, blaming themselves. Reader doesn’t want to worry Neil too much, but she also tries to convince herself that she is fine. And a moment of peace they share shatters as soon as she downplays what happened aloud, and when Neil goes off, she hides behind yet another joke, and then behind a blindfold.

Aquilo - Silhouette

The one for when R tells Neil goodnight and then can’t fall asleep. //Devil's on your shoulder

Strangers in your head

As if you don't remember

As if you can forget

It's only been a moment

It's only been a lifetime

But tonight you're a stranger

Some silhouette //

When he comes to check in on her, and something feels off. She’s lost, yet finds enough strength to ask him to stay.

//Just hold me//

Nathan Ball - Drifting

//I can see in your eyes

When you lie awake at night

You convince yourself you're fine, it's alright

To keep on drifting

With the drugs keeping you high

They catch you falling from the sky

I keep asking myself why

You stand by

And keep on drifting

…

So tell me what you hold inside

Tell the backstreets of your mind

You're still lonely as a child

Teary eyed

Kept on drifting//

Knowing our Reader a bit longer by now, I knew what would happen if she was to be left alone with her thoughts, in pain, and with Neil being weirdly distant.

Have you ever lied in bed, crying silently, trying not to wake up the person next to you but getting absolutely torn apart by the sadness roaring inside you? It’s a different kind of loneliness, not helping in the slightest when you’re biting back sobs. Anyway,--

//So take my hand and hold on

Take my hand don't let go//

That’s something that happened almost organically with these two. Part of their language, hand touches as a sign of support.

I gotta admit, I watched Shadow and Bone already being in the middle of writing the series and seeing how overused the hand-holding flashback was... it there made me slightly cringe every time it came up in the story I was writing later on. On the other hand (hah), it was so them. It had to stay.

Dean Lewis - Need you now - Acoustic

//Cold light wakes me in the morning,

Your side is empty I was calling out to you,

I was calling out to you.//

That’s the next day after R’s breakdown, but check out the next lyrics.

//But I don't need your love,

I just need your

Talking next to me when I wake up, wake up

Talking next to me when I wake up next to you,

When I'm hungover too.

Cause you're the only one who comes when I'm lonely,

You're the only one who comes when I'm lonely for you,

When I'm lonely for you.

All that I need is a sweet escape,

And all that I need is a sweet escape.

...

Cause I don't need your love

But I just need you now

And I don't need your love

I just need you now//

This, y’all, is R, still convinced that it’s not about love, and it’s so perfectly put into words, but the music and the vocals are dripping with longing, making it even more spot-on for the occasion.

RHODES - Breathe

The emotions captured in this… holy shit. They clench my chest and make me struggle for breath. This could have been a song playing in the background when R wakes up from a nap to Neil having a breakdown of his own.

//Mind break in two,

There's a light in the sky, there's a light

And it's all for you

Dawn colors all

Tell me how do you feel?

Tell me how do you need to heal?//

Looking for his hand, only to find a clenched fist. And when she realizes he’s been crying and she hears how broken he is, that’s enough to make her heart shatter, doubly so because he’s agonizing over something she feels responsible for.

//Breathe, release it all

Come on now, I'll keep you warm

Come on!

Breathe, release it all

Come on now, I need your love

Come on now!//

To me, every “come on”, repeated with urgency, is how desperate she is to make him stop spiraling down when she kisses him, and then again, more purposefully, until he gives in and comes back to her.

Circa Waves - Fire that burns - Acoustic

The one for ✨the moment✨.

//Comfort me, oh comfort me

I'm lighting up

To see the day you run for me

You run for me, my love//

Because they both seek comfort in the act, two broken people mending whole in each other’s embrace. Ultimately, finding there something more, whether they are ready to acknowledge it or not.

//But I've been tied up

For days

And I've been thinking of the things that you say

And I've been wound up

Each way

I need to let you know, to let you know today//

Neil already knows how important she is to him. And that’s what he tries to say between the choked-out words, that he thought he’d lost his chance to tell her how much she means to him.

//You call me a liar

You call me so innocent

But you lit the fire

You lit the fire that burns

The fire that burns inside us

I'm not innocent

I lit the fire, the fire, the fire

I lit the fire//

Oh yes, that bit definitely seeped into the chapter.

The XCERTS - Feels like falling in love - alternative version

//Keep yourself safe, keep yourself safe she said

You broke your own heart but there's no need to lose your head

Keep yourself sane, keep yourself sane he said

You gotta give up, give up, give up the dark

To start again//

You can see it, right?

Outlining the whole story, I knew that part 5 would be the part when they fall in love, or realize that they already might be.

//And it feels like falling in, falling in love

Yeah it feels like falling in, falling in, falling in love

Could save me tonight//

The 1975 - Fallingforyou

//According to your heart

My place is not deliberate

Feeling of your arms

I don't want to be your friend, I want to kiss your neck

Don't you see me I

I think I'm falling, I'm falling for you

And don't you need me I

I think I'm falling, I'm falling for you

On this night, and in this light

I think I'm falling (I think I'm falling), I'm falling for you

And maybe you, change your mind//

They’re so vulnerable there. Everything Neil pours into the act sweeps R off her feet and she opens up and to let him feel the extent of how much she cares for him, unaware that it might be shifting into something from the territory she promised herself not to venture into. Because that’s not important then. Nothing else is. Just them. So simple.

Adam French - Weightless

The light and softness in this song remind me of another Weightless I used for the finale of the Smoke series.

That’s the moment after. Softness. Closeness. Bliss.

//I told ya that you were the only weight on my shoulders

You see you're gonna make it alright

How you're gonna make it alright

When you're gonna make it alright, alright, alright

You say your body will

You say your body will

Hold me in the night

...

Only you can make me weightless

...

Closer is all I ever wanted to be

There for ya so you can be confiding in me

There to break the fall

Here for everybody to see

Weightless after all//

Chapter 6: Declan J Donovan - Perfectly imperfect

I had the moment they fall in love. I knew how it was gonna end, the conversation with Mahir and how it goes from there. I thought that we need some calm before the storm that was bound to happen, and what’s better than a little domestic fluff? A time when they can see each other in a different setting, get to know one another even better. Fall even harder.

And my god, this song.

//You live like you're a secret

One that only I could know

'Cause I said

You know what I want and

I know who you are

I know when I hold you and love you

You'll get up and go before you fall apart//

...that last line hits different when you know what’s gonna happen later, right?

//I'll bring you every colour that I find

In your eyes

You wake me up

And it breaks my heart

That you're perfectly imperfect

You're hurting but you're worth it

You don't know why

I would waste my time

But I'm falling and I mean it

I want you like I need it

There's nothing you could try to change my mind

'Cause I'm in love

So call me when you want me and I'll come running

Find me waiting at your door

So tell me if you're lonely and it won't last long

'Cause I'm in love with you (you)//

That light when the song gets to the part about being in love -- there’s so much tenderness there, and it resonated with the story so much. And the perfectly imperfect line, so so good.

Bastille - Survivin’

The way the song swings and the hopeful vibe is just what I needed for this chapter.

//And I'm not gonna lie

Say I've been alright

'Cause it feels like I've been living upside down

What can I say? I'm survivin'

Crawling out these sheets to see another day

What can I say? I'm survivin'

And I'm gonna be fine

I'm gonna be fine

I think I'll be fine//

As much as Reader didn’t want Neil to be there with her for so long, she really enjoys his company, making the boring and still rather painful recovery period easier.

Ella Henderson, Tom Grennan - Let’s go home together - stripped

Ha, this one! The humour when they tease other words always brings a smile to my face. That playfulness just fits our duo’s dynamic so well.

//Maybe you'll like me the way I am//

Crazy concept, right? And with Neil learning to spot the times when she hides behind a joke, and still being there--

//Feels like I know you so well

You could be everything that I've been missing

I'm coming out of my shell

And I never do that

How did you do that?

It's like I've known you my whole life//

That’s exactly how she feels like. She intently doesn��t think about it though, because if she starts overthinking it… we know what happens. She’s allowing herself to be in the moment, however. And happy.

//You seem like someone I could be myself with, no defenses

Maybe you like me the way I am//

That brings me to all Neil’s animated rants, and how much he appreciates that she always listens. He feels accepted, and I don’t know, it melts my heart a little.

//Baby, I'm in love//

🙃

INXS - Need you tonight

I know I used a cover of this song for another playlist, but the vibe was so different, and you just have to bear with me. It’s one of those songs that sparks the ideas and images, and usually, they involve Neil being a tease and having way too much fun. And as I was plotting the chapter, I thought of R missing out on his shenanigans, and how he could make her see what he was doing, and 😳 oh my. I knew the imagination would run wild. (That definitely might have something to do with a certain scene from a certain movie and a conversation I had with M about how Neil would handle it)

//So slide over here and give me a moment

Your moves are so raw, I've got to let you know

I've got to let you know

You're one of my kind

I need you tonight

'Cause I'm not sleepin'

There's somethin' about you, girl

That makes me sweat//

That’s one sexy song, don’t judge me.

Dermot Kennedy - Days like this

Oh, would you look at that, it’s Dermot again! This one is for that scene on the balcony.

That quiet contentment, like everything fell in its place and life is alright.

//When it's not always raining, there'll be days like this

When there's no one complaining, there'll be days like this

When everything falls into place, like the flick of a switch

Oh my mama told me, there'll be days like this

When you don't need to worry, there'll be days like this

When no one's in a hurry, there'll be days like this

When you don't get betrayed by that old Judas kiss

Oh my mama told me, there'll be days like this//

They’re in the moment, comfortable in the relationship that blooms between them. More casual and laid-back throughout the day only to get more soft and intimate in the evenings, when the inner demons’ voices grow louder.

James Bay - Chew on my heart - acoustic

The way the chorus explodes? It makes me beam widely and my heart is about to burst.

//Take your time

I'll be right here

I know no one could ever love me better

Take all night

You're the truth that

Is breaking me and keeping me together

Together

I wanna be in your touch

Sleep is so tough

You're burning up my mind

What would it feel like if you tore me apart?

Come on chew on my heart

...

I'm on fire

I'm a hot mess

I'm thinking things that I might start regretting

So hear me out

I need you now

I'm spiraling

I'm sinking down

Look for me I'm sending up a message

A message//

I think it weirdly fits those times at night when Neil checks the bruises. When their minds wander to that first evening, and they still feel bad about how it ended up, the closeness brings them back to the present and grounds them.

Picture This - Unconditional

This one just makes my heart sing.

//This magic, I don't know what it is but we have it

Even when we're sleepless and damaged

I don't doubt it

We're holding on//

That’s exactly it.

//Baby I wish we could take this feeling

And put it away somewhere safe

'Til we need it

Unconditional

I'm so afraid of losing your love//

They don’t need big words. But they feel it, all right. Whether they are aware of it or not. And they are afraid of losing each other, now that they know how easily that could happen.

//Shivers running down my back with your fingers

The smell of your perfume it lingers

And whispers

What I want you to say

Under your skin, underdressed under covers

We bring out the best in each other

Two lovers finding our way//

The kiss, the touch, the skin on skin contact - some of the most powerful reminders that, for now, they’re safe.

BANNERS - Start a riot

But it’s not always about going all the way, because sometimes you just need to be held. And this song just speaks to me of all that tenderness, all the feelings clenching the heart so much they’re unable to say a word, just want to keep each other as close as they can. Just to make sure they’re really there.

//I will march down an empty street like a ship into the storm

No surrender, no retreat

I will tear down every wall

Just to keep you warm

Just to bring you home

I will burn this city down for a diamond in the dust

I will keep you safe and sound when there's no one left to trust

Will you take my hand?

We can make our stand

If your world falls apart

I'd start a riot

If night falls in your heart

I'd light the fire

In the dark, when you sound the alarm

We'll find each other's arms

For your love, all you are

I'd start a riot//

The lyrics are so beautiful, and there’s so much longing there, and the promise to protect each other, to be there for each other, to face whatever life might throw their way together.

Yeah, it makes me emotional, I absolutely love it. Speaking of emotional--

Chapter 7: Stone Sour - Wicked game - acoustic, live

When Spotify recommended this one to me, I almost skipped it. I’ve heard it a million times in different versions and I thought that there’s nothing to be found there. Oh, was I wrong.

I knew what was going to happen in the chapter - Mahir is about to confront R, surprised by what he sees. And he can clearly recognize that they’re idiots in love, even if they’re trying to lay low in the company. He knows what happened to R, why she’s so cautious and reluctant when it comes to any relationships that are more than simple hookups.

//The world was on fire and no one could save me but you

It's strange what desire will make foolish people do

And I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you

And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you//

Because that’s how it started, right? With desire. One could argue that our duo had solid banter before that, respect and understanding, all those things, sure. But ultimately, that was all that sexual tension, sparked by the playful teasing, that pushed them into each other’s arms in the first place.

//No, I don't want to fall in love

With you, with you

What a wicked game to play, to make me feel this way

What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you//

And when Reader finally lets the thought in and it dawns on her that she is, in fact, in love - she goes into full panic. Not because she feels it’s unrequited, god, she’s not stupid, nor blind (too soon?). But she’s mad at herself that she allowed this to happen. She’s afraid that she’ll get hurt, and to avoid that, she has to run away. And that’s gonna hurt Neil as well, and she can’t stand that, hates herself for that, but she’s so scared that she can’t think of any other solution.

Before we get to that, however, there’s a bit more softness to be shared.

Lewis Watson - Little light

//And all this shade is, illuminating

And all those love lines, are taking shape

And all my worries, disintegrating

And I've been waiting, I've been waiting

And all my days were young and wasted

When I was waiting, oh for you

And all the plans that I've been chasing are always fading

But ever since I found you

A little light is breaking through//

Gotta admit, I had this one hidden in the playlists of other chapters, because it captures that feeling when your chest is filled with light and you’re simply happy. It ended up here, because it’s this feeling when R is melting a little inside when she looks at Neil, when she’s in his arms. And how Neil feels, too.

X Ambassadors - Renegades

Funny, I had this song for both times the team appears in the story. There’s this sense of camaraderie to it that I wanted to capture, when you’re with a bunch of people who are like family to you. You can tease them all you want, but at the same time you’d go into battle with them, knowing that you can count on them to have your six.

//Long live the pioneers

Rebels and mutineers

Go forth and have no fear

Come close and lend an ear

…

All hail the underdogs

All hail the new kids

All hail the outlaws

Spielbergs and Kubricks

It's our time to make a move

It's our time to make amends

It's our time to break the rules

Let's begin//

I wanted R to have a taste of that. To let her know that she’s appreciated for helping with the mission. To get to know them all better, and to make amends with TP, of sorts.

I didn’t want to make his motivation clear. He wouldn’t tell her that he knows how the story ends. That he can’t help that, deep down, irrationally, he made her responsible for it. Even if she’s not the one to blame. (And I don’t believe he let’s that happen, in the end, because that’s too much angst, even for me - again, fuck you, Mr Nolan, sir)

Corey Taylor, Dave Grohl, Rick Nielsen, Scott Reeder - From can to can’t

Christ almighty, this one is so raw! The emotional progression in here just blows my mind.

//Under the water

It's cold and it's grey

My torrid autumn

Another season decays

Open up the Hollow

And my walls come down

I tell you it's a problem

Just when no one's around

But then

I know what's wrong

God, you complicated everything

I know you're gone, gone, gone

This is where I will draw my line

I will draw my line//

To me, it’s the scene with R having a breakdown in the bathroom, and then somehow finding the solution. She has a plan, and enough strength and determination to pull through, at least for a moment.

Chapter 8: Dan Owen - Hideaway

I found this song by accident, and I almost screamed at how perfect it is for the finale (and then screamed for the second time when my dearest friend @connie-nikas casually sent me this exact song one day saying that it sounds like something I’d enjoy). The intensity just tears your heart out and makes you struggle to draw a breath, there’s something desperate to it, and I knew that it would be my go-to song for the part where R sleeps with Neil, trying one last time to drown all the pain and sorrow in his closeness.

I could just paste all the lyrics, to be honest, because that’s exactly what’s happening in the scene.

//It's a long way down

I keep backing away from the edge

And it's a slow burnout

Like the fires that rage in my head

And it's a slow cry out

When you've got so many tears you could die

And it's a long time to wait

When you take all my tears away//

Oh, she’s on the verge of tears, all right. Knowing quite well that as soon as Neil picks on them, he’s gonna stop to make sure she’s okay. That once he starts asking questions, she’s gonna fall into pieces, unable to lie to him.

//My body is colder

Time is frozen

All these feelings have poisoned my soul

And in silence no I can't stand it

Please break these chains and hell I can

Hideaway//

She’s scared that if she’s left alone with her thoughts, they will break her and make her stay. What she fears most (besides that she’s gonna end up betrayed, alone and heartbroken) is how Neil’s gonna react to her actions. The last thing she wants is to hurt him. She just hopes that maybe if she leaves now, it’s not gonna be as painful as it would be if she stayed a bit longer. That maybe he’s not fallen in too deep.

//You're my one way out

And my tears won't save me now

Save me now

I can't stand it

All this loneliness I feel

I can't do this alone

I need someone to remind my feelings

That I've fallen down by the door

It's a long way down and my tears won't save me now

It's a long way down

I keep backing away from the edge

And it's a slow burnout

Like the fires that rage in my head//

Macy Gray - I try

One of the first songs that came to my mind when I was composing the playlist for the series. It may be a tad too upbeat for my liking, hah, but parts of the lyrics are spot on, and it had to be there.

//I try to say goodbye and I choke (Yeah)

I try to walk away and I stumble

Though I try to hide it, it's clear

My world crumbles when you are not near

Goodbye and I choke (Yeah!)

I try to walk away and I stumble

Though I try to hide it, it's clear

My world crumbles when you are not near//

It makes me think of the time when they’re in the car. She’s going over the plan, kinda skipping the moment she’d have to say goodbye to Neil. That’s the unbearable part. And when he asks an innocent question and touches her, she crumbles and jokes. Partly to distract him from prodding further, but mostly to distract herself. I didn’t plan on them getting all worked up there, it...happened, but I figured it made for a decent ground for what was about to go down in the hotel room.

Belle Mt. - Hollow - acoustic

//She told me she was hollow

That's far from what I see//

That feeling you get when everything is too much and it leaves you hollow because you can’t take it anymore. A safety mechanism of sorts. It kicks in with Reader, and of course, Neil can sense that something is off. He hopes it’s just her being tired, he knows how she feels after spending too much time with people.

//I told her she was special

She almost let me in

But she couldn't bear the thought of digging up the heart that she's been burying//

We already know it. The thing is - Neil doesn’t. They haven’t really talked about it. Well, they did after the first night, but with all the things that happened later… and with how much affection she shows him? He doesn’t have a reason to suspect something this big.

//Lonely is her favourite

If only I could change it

If I could only save her

But sometimes she's lost, sometimes she's broken

Sometimes she's closed, sometimes she's open

Sometimes she's stone-cold, times she's on fire

Mostly she's everything I desire

Lonely is her favourite place to be//

Galleaux - Tether me

I had it on repeat when I was writing that part when R collapses in Neil’s arms when they’re in bed. Did I mention that I didn’t want Reader to be this emotional in the first part of the chapter? I thought she’d be more distant. Numb, even, here and there slipping up but holding it together until the very end. And then she does that. But it was Neil’s reaction that left me all 🥺. Not only me, apparently, because she let out so much there. I think my heart broke a little when she gave me that make love to me/love me/ never let me go part.

//In this space, do I belong?

It's dark out here in my own thoughts

Pull me back, out of my body

I'm tied to my limbs

They're spinning me out of control

Tether me//

And the way the music builds up only to blow up at 3:11, heavens, and those vocals! It just takes my breath away, fits so well there.

Nothing But Thieves - Lover, please stay

There can’t be a series playlist without Nothing But Thieves! And it’s another song Chels sent me. The way it broke me-- bloody hell. It’s that gentle guitar, it’s the raw emotions in the vocals, and those lyrics! It rips my heart out, in the best way possible.

It’s for that part where Neil falls asleep and R breaks down, fully realizing what she is about to do.

//Lover, I know you're weary

Eyes are tired from the night

Lover, come to the kitchen floor

Tiles are cold, so am I//

You bet your ass she’s having flashbacks to those moments on the cold tiles, but in her bathroom.

//Lover, I feel your sorrow pouring out of your skin

And I don't wanna be alone

If I am tonight, I'll always be//

Lonely might be her favourite place to be, but losing Neil by her own decision hurts more than she thought possible.

//So take from me what you want, what you need

Take from me whatever you want, whatever you need

But lover, please stay with me, oh//

You know what’s the worst, though? As if that scene was not heartbreaking enough, my brain decided to remind me how much it parallels part 7 from Stuck in reverse. Yep. ✨Pain.✨

Foo Fighters - Home

When she walks to her apartment. Crying. Broken. Missing him already.

//Wish I were with you

But I couldn't stay

Every direction

Leads me away

Pray for tomorrow

But for today

All I want is to be home//

About to leave for good.

This is the bit that prompted the final conversation. What even is home to her? Living the way she does, it never was something important. I struggled with that idea, I thought it’s too sweet. But Neil, the stubborn ass that he is, didn’t want to give me anything else, so it stayed - and in the end, I’m happy that it did.

BANKS - Someone new

Okay, this one is perfect with its sadness and longing, but it’s a hit and miss when it comes to lyrics. Take a look -

//I can love you desperately

Though your love ain't guaranteed

Oh, I wish you knew the deal

Gotta learn from far away

And I simply needed space

Space for me to be

And I think you need it too

Though I know you call me selfish for assuming

I did this for you too//

This, this, all of this! You see it, right?

//Everything I do, I'm gonna think of you

Don't know what else to do//

Well, one could argue that they could just talk it through without all the drama, but hey, where’s the fun in that? And running away really seems like the best option to R.

//And please don't fall in love with someone new

I promise one day I'll come back for you//

And here it’s off because I don’t think she plans on going back. So she wouldn’t want him to not fall in love with someone else, because why would she? He deserves to be happy.

//Oh, you say you hate me now and you burn me with your words

Calling me a fool

Saying that I've fucked up everything

And you'll never forgive me//

See, I have a few options for what to do when Neil finds her at the riverside. I knew one thing though - it would never be a full-blown argument and accusations. At first (and when I say first I mean before I actually started writing chapter 1, because I already had the last scene plotted out by then), I thought Neil would be calm, with a kind of “I know you love me too, silly, so what on earth are you doing?” vibe to him, to R’s annoyance. Then, the story became heavier, and I knew Neil would be worried. Lost. Confused. But never to the point of losing his temper, not after that one time in the bathroom. And that’s what happens in that scene. He doesn’t know what to do as he tries to make some sense out of it all.

Agnes Obel - Riverside

//Oh my God I see how everything is torn in the river deep

And I don't know why I go the way

Down by the riverside//

As I mentioned, I knew what I wanted for the final confrontation from the start. That’s why I tried to make that river quite important for both of them, weaving it into the story here and there. That’s why they instinctively go there.

Billy Raffoul - Dark four door

There’s this sad acceptance in this song that just breaks my heart. It makes me think about the moment when Neil wakes up and sees that she’s gone. How he doesn’t know what’s going on, and how his mind slowly connects all the things that felt strange, but he’s unwilling to accept it until he checks Reader’s place. And much it costs him to keep it together when he sees that the bag is gone.

//You got up, you felt you should

I keep trying to myself I would've done the same had I could

I never thought that you would//

Chris Cornell - Before we disappear

Whenever I hear this song, I think of Neil standing there with Reader, hurt, trying to understand what went wrong.

//So how hard can it be to share your life with me?

How hard can it be to rise with me each morning?//

Dermot Kennedy - A closeness

The last one by Dermot. If that isn’t their conversation--

//Keeping her bright eyes focused on the coastline, waiting for you

Isn't she all of us pining for that last kiss

A permanent truth, a means to get through//

Why does she stay up for so long in their spot? Does she subconsciously count on him to show up? Unable to let go, once and for all?

//Deep into the night, eyes closing

Heart swollen with my loving for you

A solid embrace, kind face

And then the hurt starts leaving the room, followed by goons

Sometimes it's open wide and lights the road at night

You've got a heart like the moon

Gather courage, if you're doing something, do it

'Cause she got to go soon//

And when Neil sees her, he wants nothing more than to hug her, he’s so relieved. But then she snaps at him, and he can’t believe that she’d actually think that he planted a bug on her to track her. It’s another wound he didn’t expect, but he waits for her to explain her actions before he lets out how much it all affected him.

Ryan McMullan - Outcry

I was close to making this one a title song for the chapter because as Hideaway sounds like it was written for the time they make love, this one is for the time Neil asks why she left.

//You came a long way to see me

So don't you run off, baby stop pretending that you're fine

What's the point that you're making

Tell me what it is that's going 'round inside your mind

If in doubt, don't fake it

I have known you long enough to know that you can't lie

If you're in love don't be ashamed of it

'Cause even angels fall for demons//

God, of course he saw that she wasn’t alright that night, but she seemed so sure about what she needed that moment that he decided not to push her - they had all the time in the world, he could ask her about it in the morning, right?

And Neil knows when she’s hiding behind jokes. That’s why he doesn’t want to play her game when she deflects what he says about the way she was in bed. He wants her to be honest. Especially since he knows what he saw in her eyes, in her actions, when they were together, and he’s sure it all must have meant something to her.

//I've heard stories, but they're jaded

So give me something more

I only know what I've been told

But I can tell that you're frustrated

And I won't ever pry, I'll only be a hand to hold

If you tell me you're hurting

I'm hurting too, yeah

Don't tell me you're fine - unless you're fine

I'll wait for the outcry

Whenever there is something weighing on your mind//

And Neil knows he can’t pressure her, that’s why he just stands with her and waits. Sweeping his mind over and over again for anything that could have prompted this whole mess.

//If you feel like leaving

Then maybe it's for the best

Or if you feel like you've given in

Oh, give yourself a chance

If you feel like crying

Oh please don't hold it in

If you feel like reaching out oh

Let me in//

His heart is aching when he hears her reason why she feels like she has to leave. That’s when he touches her. To pull her back from her head to something real. To remind her that nothing has changed. That he’s there, and not going to let her go that easily. That he loves her, because he needs her to hear it, so she knows for sure. And when she tears up, there’s only one desperate plea in his mind.

Gavin James - Hard to do

One heavy hitter after another, and this is another killer. The longing in Gavin’s voice clenches your chest and you just want to hide in somebody’s arms.

//Oh, I've been thinking that I don't wanna leave

This house isn't home to me

I'm tired of losing everyone I see

Now that you're here, it's a hard thing to do

Trying to hold on//

Does she really want to leave? She feels she has to, but god, if only she knew for sure her heart is safe, she would stay with him forever. The problem with life is - you can never be so sure. And when Neil shows up… it takes everything, even unreasonable anger, to keep her together.

//Maybe I don't believe that I don't wanna run

But two hearts are better than one

You say you'll stick around but I'll be gone

Oh, I'll be gone

It's a hard thing to do, trying to hold on//

Reader knows that it’s gonna be nearly impossible to walk away now. And she’s afraid.

//Oh, but I need you

Far more than I ever want you

It's such an unnatural thing we do

When falling in love's just so hard to do

Hard to do//

She can’t bring herself to look at him after she tells him what’s going on with her. But when Neil touches her and takes her hand, she can’t keep it inside anymore. Then he tells her that he loves her, and everything floods her at once. Fear. Guilt. Love. All that combined with his simple plea is enough to finally make her give in.

Damien Rice - I don’t want to change you

I had it on repeat since the moment Neil touched her. The softness of what happens there, melting the barriers once and for all.

//Wherever you are

You know that I adore you

No matter how far

Well, I can go before you

And if ever you need someone

Well, not that you need helping

But if ever you want someone

Know that I am willing//

He’s there for her. Always has been, always will be.

//Oh, and I don't want to change you

I don't want to change you

I don't want to change your mind//

Here. I think that’s what is really important about them and their relationship.

//I've never been with anyone

In the way I've been with you

But if love is not for fun

Then it's doomed

'Cause water races

Water races down the waterfalls//

Lucy Spraggan - Run

Ha, this kinda feels like an end-credits song, don’t you think?

//I just to run to the end of the world

Just to see if it's possible

I don't care what I've been told

I want to run to the end of the world

I'm going to run,run,run

Bye bye problems

Run 'til the road hits the sea

You better run,run,run

If you want to be free//

Granted, she didn’t run off without Neil, but found a way to run with him instead. There’s that heart-bursting light and freedom in this song, I think it captures that happiness they found, working it all out in the end.

//I wanna feel invincible

One more mile out of principle

I want to see the whole damn world

One cross road can change it all//

Travelling the world. Doing what they like most. Together.

------

Quite a journey that was.

Thank you all for taking it with me.

[the-hoarse-bard]

After a bit of discussion, I finally decided that I should get to know the locals. If I was going to be in charge around here, knowing the neighbors sounds like a good start. I told Yes Man to keep things looking business as usual, and Veronica and ED-E to relax in my suite while I went to meet the big boys in Freeside, the Kings. Their main base of operations was easy enough to find, thanks to all the neon signs covering the building. There was one man outside, apparently to guard the door, but he seemed to have nodded off on the job, so I just headed inside.

Inside, there was a much more alert-looking member of the gang leaning against a wall next to a door scowling at me. As I tried to go through the door, he stopped me, "Hold it... Do you got business with The King?" I looked him in the eye, and nodded, "Yeah, I do. Why do you ask?" He crossed his arms, and smirked, "Well, what's that worth to ya?" I narrowed my eyes. Of course this was about money, "How does fifty caps sound?" He looked slightly surprised for a moment, like he hadn't expected this to actually work, "Uh... Yeah, that'll do nicely!" I handed him the bottle caps and he pointed at the door, "The King is the bored looking guy sitting near the stage. Can't fuckin' miss him." He kicked the door with his heel, and it swung open. Show-off.

The King was the only person in the theater room aside from the man on stage putting on some kind of dance performance. The King had a dog with him, that growled as I got close, "Stay Rexy, stay. Well now, been a minute since I had a visitor. What can I do ya for?" I pulled over a chair from a nearby table and asked, "Do you always charge people just to see you?" The King seemed confused, "What? Oh, you must've met Pacer! That joker's always up to somethin'. What did he take ya for? I'd be more than happy to pay you back." I shrugged, "Fifty caps." The King rolled his eyes, and dumped the caps on the table between us, "Oh is that all? I hope you don't take it too hard. Pace can make a bad first impression, but a more loyal friend I've never had. So, back to my original question. Why'd you come to The King today?"

I scooped up the caps and put them in my pocket, "I'm looking for work. My last contract just ran out, and I've heard you pay well." The King laughed, "Ha! Well, you're just in time for that. There's a fella I want looked into. A bodyguard by the name of Orris. See, oftentimes gamblers comin' to the strip hire bodyguards to get through Freeside safe. But the strange thing about Orris is, once someone has hired him, they never want anyone else. I want you to find out why, and come tell me. Here," he plopped a sack of caps on the table, "this is to cover Orris' fee. You'll find him over by the east gate of Freeside. Now, I'm not askin' ya to kill the guy, mind. Defend yourself if need be, but all I want is information. Alright, hop to it." I took the sack of caps and nodded, heading for Freeside's east gate.