#captain DILF

[lowbrowcomicinterludes]

If someone refers to Space DILF, who first comes to mind?

Provide examples, please.

[tsuntsunfangirl]

source

@i-wanna-be-in-england @the-haven-of-fiction @charmainemaclendon @lyricalviolet @turniptitaness @ilsawasanacrobat

[comphyjost]

just some good looking rings for some good looking men!!

[girljeremystrong]

me to john tavares kids and teammates in the arena tonight

[onetruesirius]

OMIGOD OHMIGOD OMIGOD OMIGOD OHMIGOD OMIGOD OMIGOD OHMIGOD OMIGOD OMIGOD OHMIGOD OMIGOD OMIGOD OHMIGOD OMIGOD OMIGOD OHMIGOD OMIGOD

gang! GANG!

WE FUCKING WON

MONSTER MAROONS LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO—

[iwantahockeyhimbo]

who tf told anders he could look that good

[neimlise]

Captain Price and his two gremlins of a child teammates.

—

Gaz: What time is it?

(Y/n): I don’t know; pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out

(Y/n): *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune*

Price: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING

(Y/n), to Gaz: It’s two in the morning

—

Price: Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste

(Y/n): We got spring water

Price: NO.

Gaz: with EXTRA minerals

(Y/n): it's like licking a stalagmite

Price: DON'T COME HOME.

Gaz: Mmmmm cave water

—

Gaz: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?

(Y/n): The car takes a screenshot.

Price: For the last time, get the fuck out.

—

Store Worker: Would Mr. Price please come to the front desk?

Price, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

*Store Worker points to (Y/n) and Gaz*

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

(Y/n) and Gaz, simultaneously: We got lost :(

Price: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

—

(Y/n): Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.

Price: (Y/n) no.

Gaz: Mistlefoe.

Price: Please stop encouraging them.

—

Gaz: Hey Captain,

Price: Yes?

Gaz: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?

Price:

Price, stressing out: Where’s (Y/n)?

[wild0moon]

i bring you: my casual clothes tankman design (and steve too) i am so normal about found family tankdad

happy pride month lol

[lokidbadguy]

STALKER CODED!

[abrahamvanhelsings]

the terror (2018) requires a rewatch not only bc it is so good it will settle in the core of your brain and grow and spread there like a fungus until you die but also bc it is a show about a hundred something bearded victorian white men on a ship in the same clothes and by the time you start figuring out what name is attached to which guy half of them are already dead

[bluegiragi]

mission start!

gain early access to all my content on patreon!

[zgriptsor]

pikmin 4 is my first pikmin game and im already learning so much

[graveyard-society]

captain and first mate shenanigans

[machiavellli]

It’s so true that stress makes you age faster, look at Hunter, who aged like fine wine while living on a beach, and then there is Rex.

[natelia-aldelliz]

Soap & Gaz : =(

Ghost : What's going on with you two?

Gaz : Old people flirting =( it's like my divorced dad flirting with his new girlfriend in front of me all over again

Ghost : What happened?

Gaz : Well he and my mom got a divorce, which was for the best honestly, and then he got himself a girlfriend that was closer in age to me than him and -

Ghost : I don't give a shit about your parents Garrick, what happened right now.

Gaz : Oh =(

Soap : Nikolai was teaching us insults in russian, and Price told him he had a dirty mouth and Nik just smiled at him, y'know, like a smirk, and Price smiled back, ewwww

Ghost : Wait, you think Price flirting with his... friend is gross because they're old? You do know I'm not that much younger than Price, right?

Soap : Yeah, but you're not flirting with anyone, so it's okay =)

Ghost :

Gaz :

Soap : =) ?

Gaz : I can't believe you just said that. With your full chest too...

[dilf-pirates-ask]

is it true you cut eustass' arm off because he rolled the worst blunt ever