#carma only please!

[cameronsprincess]

— summary: you and rafe get into a heated argument when you let it slip that you’d fallen in love with him.

— pairing: rafe cameron x maybank!reader

— warnings: mentions of sex but nothing in detail, angst?, rafe is a dick, a love confession, language.

— note: this idea sparked when i saw this prompt list. angry confessions, dialogue prompt #15 😚 (also, i made reader jj’s sister, idk it just seemed to fit with the “we won’t work” shit.🤷🏻‍♀️)

❥ hate that i love you — r.c

“Rafe stop! Please just stop!”

Rafe stops in his tracks, his shoulders tense as he balls his fists up at his sides. The two of you had been arguing for a few days now, something that happened quite often but today it was due to the fact that you’d accidentally let the three forbidden words slip from your mouth.

You hadn’t meant for them to come out, but you had let these feelings bubble up inside of you for some time now. You had felt so close to Rafe, so safe, and the way he had been sensually thrusting into you made tears well up in your eyes, making the words fall from your lips before you could even comprehend what you’d said.

“What? I can’t- I can’t fucking do this with you. You knew the rules when we fucking started this, and now? Now you want to say you love me? You can’t love me! No one can love me, i’m unlovable Maybank, okay? You and I?” He gestures his hands back and forth between the two of you. “We won’t work! You’re just a good lay”

His words stabbed at your heart like a knife. You knew Rafe had only wanted sex from you, along with the fact that he knew it would piss your brother off more than anything if he found out. To him, you were a game, a means to an end. So why did you fall in love with him?

Your eyes fill with tears, the lump in your throat burning as you tried to swallow down the hurtful words Rafe had just thrown your way.

“You- You don’t mean that. You- You always treat me so well, Rafe. You make me feel loved and safe.. You can’t mean what you just said, you can’t!”

Rafe scoffs, letting out a dark laugh. “I do mean it, you mean absolutely nothing to me”

Tears begin to stream down your face, the realization that Rafe would never love you, and that the two of you definitely would never work finally hitting you like a ton of bricks. You felt your lungs constricting, all the air feeling like it was being sucked from you, pushing you into a full blown panic attack.

You press your palm firmly against your chest, trying to calm your breathing as the man you’d thought you knew stood in front of you, his cold, blue eyes filled with nothing but anger and hatred.

“Stop being so dramatic, it’s not that serious, you don’t actually fucking love me, you just think you do”

You suck in a shaky breath, shaking your head furiously as more tears fell down your cheeks.

“I fucking love you, okay?! I don’t want to, but I do!”

Rafe takes a step toward you, placing his hands firmly on each of your shoulders as his eyes scanned your face. “Well learn to stop loving me. It’s a waste of your time”

RAFE TAGLIST: @whore-4-drewstarkey @ivy-34 @aemonddtargaryen @f4ll-for-you @drewstarkeyslut @lorelai-lilith @lizcameron @m-1234 @dilvcv @thewitchesofart @rafesgfxo @unsaidjaelinrose @itsmytimetoodream @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @r1vrsefx @alexisbaumann2004 @yourfavborderhopper @moremaybank @mel119g @rafetopia @rafemotherfuckingcameron @jjmaybankisbae @fayerite @exhaustedbutelated @lyndys @urmyslxt @presleyanswrites @sierraluvz @carma-fanficaddict @madzzz0797 @slytherhoes @jscameron

rafe masterlist | taglist form

[imagineredwood]

I love the headcanon you did of the Mayans leaving you a voicemail while j*rking off, could you reverse it and do a headcanon of them reacting to their s/o leaving them one.

Boy can I ��

He's both eternally grateful and simultaneously ready to leave wherever it is that he's at to get home and teach you a lesson. He'll call you back over and over, hoping that you'll give him a live rendition and when it goes to voicemail again for the hundredth time, he'll curse, thoughts consumed with what you looked like while you left it. He replays it over and over again, his hand working at his belt furiously as he shuffles off to the bathroom or dark corner. "I miss you, Angel. I need you. It's not the same without you." Your whines and moans and whimpers. You just sound so good. All he wants is to get home to you so he can watch you, but he'll have to settle for the audio. And better believe you're in for it when he gets home.

He's tickled by it. He'll quickly stop it when he realizes what he's listening to and sneak off somewhere private to listen. Has a bit more restraint than Angel and is able to keep his hands out of his pants for the time being. He closes his eyes and plays it over and over, envisioning you writhing as you say his name in the voicemail. "EZ, baby. When are you coming back to me?" He loves how needy you get and he knows that when he finally gets home to you he's going to more than make up for the time apart.

He gets worked up fast, and not entirely in a good way. He already hates leaving you behind, out of town so far away from you. He had you promise to be good and not touch until he came back. It was only a few days after all. But now here you are, moaning into his ear through the phone as you break the rules, letting out mischievous giggles as you rub it in his face. "Feels so good, Bish. Wish you were here, but I think I'm doing a good enough job." Godspeed when he does finally come home.

He teases himself and stays right where he's at while he listens to it. Plays it over and over, listening to your breath hitch, thanking him for the toy he bought you before he left. "It's so good, Coco. Fuck. Thank you, thank you, thank you-" Trailing off as you finally come. He's practically salivating by the time he finally stops the recording, clearing his throat as someone asks him if he's good.

He's less than thrilled, but also rock-hard immediately. Once he gets over the fear from thinking that something is wrong, he settles and growls, hearing you begging and pleading like such a good girl for him. "I tried to wait, but the sheets smell just like you. Please come home. I need it." He's got half the mind to end this bulshit agricultural meeting and just get home to you, but he refrains. He'll take his time and when he does finally get home, he's going to edge you until you can barely see.

He loves it. He loves how adventurous you are and how willing you are to take care of yourself and let him listen. He plays it over and over, imagining how good you look all spread out and needy on the bed. "How many more days, Neron. I'm going crazy here without you." He'd love it more if he were there of course, but it only makes him more eager to get home quickly and in one piece, so he can watch next time.

General taglist (tagged in all work)

@piccasoe @ateliefloresdaprimavera @woahitslucyylu @everyhowlmarksthedead @glimmerglittergirl @fanaticfangurl21 @encounterthepast @svintsandghosts @starrynite7114 @destynelseclipsa @queenbeered @iamthegraham @emoengelfurleben @all-the-boys-to-the-yard @otomefromtheheart @rosieposie0624 @papa-geralt-of-cirilla @beeroses @weirdosandhopelessromantics @kola95

@cruzwalters @myakai13 l @lyly00 @Zsakaystacks17 @cole-winchester @alexxavicry @savagemickey03 @fanfic-n-tabulous @xbloodyxangelx @carma-fanficaddict @gillysoldlady @choochoo284 @whitetxilwxlf @ravennaortiz @flowercrowns-goodvibes

Mayans MC taglist 

@dazzledamazon  @briana-mishell24 @wrcn9fvlcver @thesandbeneathmytoes @krysiewithak @appropriate-writers-name @blessedboo @megapeacelovemusic-blog @emoengelfurleben @blowmymbackout @abby-splace @kola95 @redpoodlern @myakai13 @cruzwalters @po3ticb3auty @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @angel-121 @fanfic-n-tabulous @carma-fanficaddict

[nattinatalia]

Urban Wyatt x Harlow Sister : Instagram AU

Liked by urbanwyatt, nickiejonpabon, jackharlow and 1,344,965 others

yourusername My man and two of my favorite guys. But the way my man looks at me 🥺 got me ready to get down on my knees, marry him and give him children.

View all 1,200 comments

urbanwyatt 😚😊😊 get to it then baby.

jackharlow No! Absolutely not

nickiejonpabon Oh I made it to the favorite list? I feel honored.

yourusername Don’t act like you didn’t know you’re one of my favorites.

claybornharlow Good thing you don’t want to get married and have kids.

yourusername You didn’t have to call me out damn.

urbanwyatt 🙄

•

urbanwyatt added to their story

•

Liked by yourusername, jackharlow, neelamthadhani, cozane, and 7,667,355 others

urbanwyatt She took these and I think I need to teach her how to get the good angles.

View all 1,300 comments

yourusername 🙄 Okay calm down professional. Plus the hands and dimples are always the good angles so 🤫

jackharlow He is a professional so wdym

yourusername Can you leave?

jackharlow NO

urbanwyatt 😂😂

user Can y/n fight?

jackharlow Why 👀

user cus I’m about to slide into her man’s dms

jackharlow 💀

jackharlow Might not want to do that bruh

user2 😭😭

claybornharlow Just to warn you, her dog ain’t the only one named scrappy

urbanwyatt yoo 😭💀

yourusername Y’all are annoying 😫

yourusername But slide into his dms, you might get a little surprise *sips on tea*

•

Liked by urbanwyatt, mamamaggie, jackharlow, cozane, selenosunni, and 1,300,767 others

yourusername We did a thing 🤭🫣 just us two and no one else, well minus one person. But other than that, this doesn’t feel too different.

View all 1,200 comments

urbanwyatt 🤫🤫🤫

urbanwyatt Isssaaa secret…. For now….

mamamaggie What did you two do?

yourusername Oh hi mama 😊

mamamaggie Child of mine, please tell me you didn’t.

yourusername I didn’t?

jackharlow What did she do mom?

jackharlow YN HARLOW WHAT DID YOU DO NOW???

yourusername Damn relax, don’t have to yell bro.

claybornharlow Urban, what did you two do?

urbanwyatt Whatever it is that we did, I blame her okay?

yourusername 🤨

urbanwyatt Kiddingggg 🤪

•

Liked by yourusername, selenosunni, cozane, nickiejonpabon, neelamthadhani, and 6,886,345 others

urbanwyatt Last night after we did what we did 🤭😁 we came back to our hotel to smoke a fatty, and she surprised me with this 🤤 yeahhhh I can live like this for ever!!!!!!

View all 1,200 comments

yourusername 🙈

selenosunni 👀 What did you losers do

cozane i think I have an idea but I want to believe I don’t, that way Maggie, Jack and Clay don’t get mad at me.

selenosunni text me what you think they did

cozane 🤫🤫🤫

selenosunni OH SHIT

selenosunni IT MAKES SENSE NOW

jackharlow Mind sharing it with the class?

cozane 🤦🏻

neelamthadhani She a baddie 😍 🔥

mamamaggie You two can’t hide forever, I’ll find out eventually.

urbanwyatt We’re not hiding exactly. ok maybe a little bit

claybornharlow My stomach is in knots trying to figure out all the possible things you two idiots could’ve done. And there’s one at the top of my list that I really hope you didn’t do.

yourusername 🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨

jackharlow Clay, text me and tell me.

claybornharlow You really are all bro.

jackharlow text me

claybornharlow I did dumbass

yourusername LMAAAOOOO

jackharlow Wait a damn minute.

jackharlow Nah they wouldn’t. Y/N wouldn’t

urbanwyatt Whyyyy???

yourusername 🙄

jackharlow I will disown both of you if you did what everyone is saying you did.

yourusername You’ll get over it

user nah drop us a hint.

yourusername No

urbanwyatt happy life 🙈🤪

••••••••

TAG LIST

@heavyhitterheaux @harlowsbby @arination99 @cmalass @jackharloww @minkookie95 @deannaard @jacksmoviestar @harlowcomehome @fdl305 @httpkoylinnn @xoxokiaraaxoxo @hoodharlow @automaticpeachsong @amethyst09 @aliciacat20 @allyson15 @gabbylovesreading @stefansalvatoresgf @violetdreamsworld @carma-fanficaddict @jasminxts @itsaaliyah2 @itsyagirljaz @harrycanyonmoonn @neon-lights-and-glitter @awhore4moree @toocriticalharlow @thefemalestorywriter @lightsoutstyles @violetslays818 @fantasywritersstuff @vanwritesfan-fiction

[talonabraxas]

5 Shiva Mantras, Hymns for Pleasing Shiva 🔱 1. The Mool (Main) Mantra of Lord Shiva is a five syllable mantra, known as panchakshri mantra. It is believed that the chanters are bowing to themselves, as the Lord Shiva is considered as the ultimate reality.

“OM Namah Shivaya”

Meaning: I bow to Shiva.

2. Maha Mrityunjaya Mantra is the greatest Mantra for Lord Shiva found in Rig Veda.

“OM. Tryambakam yajamahe

Sugandhim pushti-vardhanam

Urvarukamiva bandhanan

Mrityor mukshiya mamritat”

Meaning: We meditate on the three-eyed One, who is fragrant and nourishing to all.

How a ripe fruit falls effortlessly off from a plant’s stem, may it may liberate us from ignorance, untruth and death, for all of immortality.

3. Shree Shiva- Parvati Stuti is the mantra which praises Lord with his consort Parvati.

“Karpoor Gauram Karunnaavataram Sansaar Saaram

Bhujgendra Haaram.

Sadaa Vasantam Hridyaarvrinde

Bhavam Bhavaani Sahitam Namaami”

Meaning: I Bow to Bhavani as well as to Lord Shiva who is white as camphor, who is compassion incarnate, who is the essence of the world, who wears a garland of a large snake and who always dwells in the lotus-like hearts of his devotees.

4a. Shree Rudraashtak Stotram is the eight fold hymn recited by Brahma to please Shiva. This mantra can be used by anyone to get the blessing from the Lord Shiva.

“Namaam-Iisham-Iishaana Nirvaanna-Ruupam

Vibhum Vyaapakam Brahma-Veda-Svaruupam

Nijam Nirgunnam Nirvikalpam Niriiham

Cidaakaasham-Aakaasha-Vaasam Bhaje-[A]ham”

Meaning: I Salute the Lord Ishana. It is the Form that represents the state of the highest Nirvana. This is the form that manifests the essence He is pervading everywhere and The Lord embodies the Highest Knowledge of Brahman present in the core of the Vedas. He who remains absorbed in His own self which is beyond the three Gunas. Beyond any change and Manifoldness, and which is free from any movement. I worship Ishana, who abides in the spiritual sky.

4b.

“Niraakaaram-Ongkara-Muulam Turiiyam

Giraa-Jnyaana-Go-[A]tiitam-Iisham Giriisham

Karaalam Mahaakaala-Kaalam Krpaalam

Gunna-[A]agaara-Samsaara-Paaram Nato-[A]ham”

Meaning: I bow to the supreme Lord who is the formless source of “OM” The Self of All, transcending all conditions and states. Beyond speech, He understands the sense perception. Awe-full, but gracious, the ruler of Kailash, Devourer of Death, the immortal abode of all virtues.

4c.

“Tussaara-Adri-Samkaasha-Gauram Gabhiram

Mano-Bhuuta-Kotti-Prabhaa-Shrii Shariiram

Sphuran-Mauli-Kallolinii Caaru-Ganggaa

Lasad-Bhaala-Baale[a-I]ndu Kanntthe Bhujanggaa”

Meaning: I offer salutations to Sri Rudra, Who is shining white resembling a mountain of snow; and He resides deep in the mind in Millions of Rays of Splendor, which expresses His Auspicious Body. Over whose Head, the Beautiful Ganga Throbs and Surges forth towards the Worlds. The newly risen moon shines in His forehead spreading its rays and His Neck adorns the beautiful Serpents.

4d.

“Calat-Kunnddalam Bhruu-Sunetram Vishaalam

Prasanna-[A]ananam Niila-Kannttham Dayaalam

Mrga-Adhiisha-Carma-Ambaram Munndda-Maalam

Priyam Shangkaram Sarva-Naatham Bhajaami”

Meaning: The beloved Lord of All, with shimmering pendants hanging from his ears, Beautiful eyebrows and large eyes, Full of Mercy with a cheerful countenance and a blue speck on his throat. I Worship Him Who is Beloved of His Devotees, Who is Shankara, the Lord of All.

4e.

“Pracannddam Prakrssttam Pragalbham Pare[a-Ii]sham

Akhannddam Ajam Bhaanu-Kotti-Prakaasham

Tryah-Shuula-Nirmuulanam Shuula-Paannim

Bhaje[a-A]ham Bhavaanii-Patim Bhaava-Gamyam”

Meaning: I worship Shankara, Bhavani’s husband. I owe to the fierce, exalted, luminous and the supreme Lord Shiva. Indivisible, unborn and radiant with the glory of a million suns; Who, holding a trident, tears out the root of the three-fold suffering, And who is reached only through Love.

4f.

“Kalaatiita-Kalyaanna Kalpa-Anta-Kaarii

Sadaa Sajjana-[A]ananda-Daataa Pura-Arii

Cid-Aananda-Samdoha Moha-Apahaarii

Prasiida Prasiida Prabho Manmatha-Arii”

Meaning: Salutations to Sri Rudra, Whose Auspicious Nature are Beyond the Elements of the gross material world, and He who Brings an end to the cycle of creation when all gross elements are dissolved. He is the one who always gives to the wise men and is the destroyer of Adharma. By Taking Away the Great Delusion, He plunges the prepared Soul in the Fullness of Cidananda (the Bliss of Brahman or Pure Consciousness). O, the signifying Destroyer of Manmatha; Please be Gracious to me; Please be Gracious to me, O Lord.

4g.

“Na Yaavad Umaa-Naatha-Paada-Aravindam

Bhajanti-Iha Loke Pare Vaa Naraannaam

Na Taavat-Sukham Shaanti Santaapa-Naasham

Prasiida Prabho Sarva-Bhuuta-Adhi-Vaasam”

Meaning: Oh Lord of Uma, so long as you are not worshiped, there is no happiness, peace or freedom from suffering in this world or the next. You who dwell in the hearts of all living beings, and in whom all beings have their existence, Have mercy on me, Lord.

4h.

“Na Jaanaami Yogam Japam Naiva Puujaam

Natoham Sadaa Sarvadaa Shambhu-Tubhyam

Jaraa-Janma-Duhkhau-[A]gha Taatapyamaanam

Prabho Paahi Aapanna-Maam-Iisha Shambho”

Meaning: O my lord, I do Not Know how to perform Yoga, Japa or Puja. I always at All Times only Bow down to You, O Shambhu. Please protect me from the Sorrows of Birth and Old Age, as well as from the sins which lead to Sufferings. Please protect me O Lord from Afflictions; protect me O My Lord Shambhu.

5a.

“Brahma Muraari Surarchita Lingam

Nirmala Bhaashita Sobhitha Lingam

Janmaja Dhukha Vinaasaha Lingam

Tatpranamaami Sadaashiva Lingam”

Meaning: I bow before that Sada Shiva Lingam, which is worshiped by Brahma, Vishnu and other Gods. It is pure and resplendent, and destroys sorrows arising out of birth and death.

5b.

“Devamuni Pravaraarchita Lingam

Kaama Dahana Karunaakara Lingam

Ravana Darpa Vinaasaha Lingam

Tatpranamaami Sadaashiva Lingam”

Meaning: I bow before that Sada Shiva Lingam, which is worshiped by great sages and devas (God). He is the destroyer of Kama, Linga, the compassionate, and which destroyed the pride of Ravana.

5c.

“Sarva Sugandha Sulepitha Lingam

Buddhi Vivaardhana Kaarana Lingam

Siddha Suraasura Vandhitha Lingam

Tatpranamaami Sadaashiva Lingam”

Meaning: I bow before that Sada Shiva Lingam, which is well anointed with all fragrances, leads to the growth of wisdom. It is worshiped by sages, devas and asuras (Demons).

5d.

“Kanaga Mahaamani Bhooshitha Lingam

Panipati Veshthitha Sobitha Lingam

Daksha Suyajna Vinaasana Lingam

Tatpranamaami Sadaashiva Lingam”

Meaning: I salute that Eternal Shiva Lingam, Which is decorated with Gold and other Precious Gems, which is adorned with the Best of the Serpents Wrapped around it, and which destroyed the Grand Sacrifice of Daksha. I Salute that Eternal Shiva Lingam.

5e.

“Kunkuma Chandhana Lehpitha Lingam

Pankaja Haara Susobhitha Lingam

Devaganarchita sevita lingam bhavairbhaktirevacha lingam

Dinakarakoti prabhakara lingam tatpranamami sadasivalingam”

Meaning: I salute that Eternal Shiva Lingam Which is anointed with Saffron and Sandal Paste, which is Beautifully Decorated with Garlands of Lotuses, and which destroys the accumulated Sins. I Salute that Eternal Shiva Lingam.

5f.

“Astadalopari vestithalingam sarvasmudva karanalingam

Astadaridra vinasana lingam tatpranamami sadasivalingam

Suruguru suravara poojita lingam surapushpa sadarchita lingam

Paramapadam paramatmakalingam tatpranamami sadasivalingam”

Meaning: I bow before that Sada Shiva Lingam, Which is enveloped with eight-fold petals, which is the cause of all creation, and which destroys eight types of poverty. I Salute that Eternal Shiva Lingam Which is Worshiped by the Preceptor of Gods and the Best of the Gods, which is Always Worshiped by the Flowers from the Celestial Garden, Which is Superior to the Best and which is the Greatest. I Salute that Eternal Shiva Linga.

5g.

“Lingastakam punyam ya pathecchivasanndhu

sivaloka mavapnoti sivena sahamodithe”

Whoever Recites this Lingasthakam near Shiva, Will Attain the Abode of Shiva and enjoy His Bliss.

Shiva ॐ Talon Abraxas

[heavyhitterheaux]

I Need a Pencil

First Lady of Private Garden Blurb

AN: Jack is 18 and Y/N is 17 and they’re in their senior year

"Babe!"

Silence.

"Babe!"

Silence.

"BABY!"

"What, Jackman!?"

"I know you hear me so why are you ignoring me!? What if it was an emergency?" Jack immediately whined as you rolled your eyes.

"Because unlike you I'm trying to get a good grade in this class! And you don't have no got damn emergency."

"Yes I do."

"What is it?"

"I need a pencil."

You could have strangled him right then and there and looked at him in disbelief.

"Jackman, what the hell did you do with the one that I gave you last period!?"

"I don't know, babe. It just got up and walked away I guess."

"Be serious for once in your life, please."

"The only time I was serious is when I asked you to be my girlfriend."

“Oh, so your ass has jokes?”

“Nah, but I got some strokes for you if you’re interested.” Jack answered as he wiggled his eyebrows and you immediately rolled your eyes.

You reached into your purple pencil case and handed him another pencil and he immediately turned up his nose to look at it.

“Baby, I don’t want this one.”

“Beggars can’t be choosers Jackman. And right now you are definitely a beggar. You already lost my other one so don’t push it.”

“But yes they can. I begged you to be my girlfriend and you chose to say yes.”

“I swear Maggie dropped you when you were a baby.”

“I’m ignoring that. Babe, give me another pencil! This is the dollar store one! This is going to break before class is over!”

“Hell no. You had your chance and you lost my good pencils, so you get the dollar store ones. You have lost your privilege.”

“Babyyyy, what am I supposed to do with this?”

“Write, dumbass.”

“Stop getting smart with me, mamas!”

“Then stop losing all my got damn pencils! And I just noticed something…. Baby, where is your backpack? You have literally been carrying around your binder all day that has four pieces of paper in it. You could have used a folder for that.”

“I don’t know, I haven’t seen it in like two weeks.”

“How in the world did you study for our text last period if you didn’t have your notes?”

All Jack did was shrug.

“Either way, you aren’t getting another pencil so deal with it.”

“But…”

“NO!”

Later that day, you were over Jack’s house studying and all he was doing was staring at you  patiently waiting for you to pay him attention even though he still needed to get his own study guide finished. He was getting bored and proceeded to sigh loudly to get your attention.

“Yes, baby?” You asked while over at him.

“Can I have a kiss? I feel like I haven’t gotten any all day.”

“Why of course you can.”

You proceeded to give him several kisses, before he slid you into his lap.

“Baby, why haven’t you started your study guide?” You curiously asked while looking at his blank paper. 

“Um….”

“I’m waiting….”

“I need a pencil.”

“JACKMAN THOMAS, I SWEAR TO GOD!” 

Taglist:

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@babyharleezy

@hoodharlow

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[rikkutori]

heyaa! decided to open request i’m not gonna draw every single one, but i can do a few!!

- please twisted wonderland / ensemble stars / milgram / danganronpa only! - no ships, 1 character only (but you can submit multiple characters in one request message if that’s like a list to choose from)

you can send your requests to “ask me” thing, please don’t DM me with this

+10 carma points if you subscribe to me haha >:D

[liamberryupsidedown]

Sir Carma

Sir Carma uses voxels to create artwork of all sorts of islands and worlds.

He has created all these little worlds with such drastic colours and fun aesthetics. A decent amount of his voxel work has a theme based around colour witch makes the art very coherent, it looks fantastic. I love the shadows on the white artwork, so dramatic with lots of fun detail. I had my hand at this, the making of all of these is so difficult but the rendering can make it look so amazing. Depending on what you are doing tho the rendering can make or break a piece of work but that isn't the case for Sir Carma. The coesive colour palettes are so pleasing to the eyes and the pure detail that has been put into them is astonishing. I also really like the symmetry in the white artwork, I looks so clean. but I do also really like the red robots, more dramatic lighting with more colours that connect together really well, all these red colours look amazing together. none blend in together. I myself am not a huge fan of robots or anything but I do really admire the work that has been put into it. I do also really like the waterfalls that he has done for his work, the beautiful nature put together with only pixels, it's inspiring.

[xastcriiax]

Visiting Hours || Open

It’d been about three years now since Jaden Harkness found herself in this wretched cell. She’d been keeping track of the days with tally marks etched discreetly in the wall hidden away from prying eyes. Three years left chipped and powerless and caged like an animal. It was a far cry from the position she’d been in before. Pride of the Nephilim with the world as her oyster. Personally, she blamed Uriel for this; if he hadn’t gone batshit on the whole city of Pansaw after C.A.R.M.A attacked Mari perhaps she wouldn’t be in this mess. Sure, she’d been pissed off about her girl getting hurt too, but sometimes precision and calculation did better than raw power and strength. What had their onslaught on the civilians really done back then besides unite everyone in Pansaw together in the most disgusting fashion? It was a lot easier to blame someone else than admit she’d made the mistake of dropping her guard for a second in a crucial moment. 

The magician hardly had access to her powers since the day of the attack, C.A.R.M.A keeping her beautiful magic trapped under their deactivation chip in the back of her neck. There’d been a couple times where they’d turned it off for a few seconds for the sake of registration and quick research notes, and in those split moments, Jaden could feel something different. Her magic felt stronger, more powerful, like Uriel’s aether enhancement had never faded away. Oh, how she longed to feel that power running through her veins again. It was hers – how dare these government controlled monkeys think they can rip away something that was part of her? Whatever. She’d be out of here before they even knew it. This grey tank top and orange pants look was getting so old.  

Just then she heard the heavy door to the prisoner area open and footsteps approaching. She sat on her cot in her cell, legs criss-crossed as she performed her daily “meditation,” as she called it. “Oh joy. A visitor,” she drawled, cracking open one eye to look at them through the shimmering energy field trapping her inside. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

@wotnastarters​

[scriptflorist]

Um hi there, I hope ya don't mind me popping in the ask box, but I have at least 3 question regarding flowers and I hope that you can answer them please. My questions are as follows, # 1:what are the meanings behind Black and White Roses? #2: what is the meaning behind sunflowers and Lillies (and the possible colors that lillies can come in?) And finally, what are the types of flowers that can be found within the French countryside or near the water in France? Thank you so much for taking the time to read all this! (And apologies if this is crazy long and misspelled.)

hOf course not! We’re happy to see you more than once! Let’s see what we can do for you. One thing we can already say however is that there is no meaning for black roses, but that just means that one could be made up for your story. There are no meanings because black roses don’t exist. We’ve gotten very close with dark reds, but those are much more recent developments, so they wouldn’t appear in Victorian Flow Language, or any traditional flower language that’s not contemporary.

Rose Meanings

Victorian Flower Language

rose (white) – I am worthy of you, silence, too young to love, I would be single, a heart unacquainted to love, innocence, purity, humility, secrecy

rose (white and red together) – unity

rose (white, withered) – transient impressions, death is preferably to loss of virtue

rosebud (white) – (a) heart that is ignorant of love, heart unacquainted with love, the heart that knows not love, girlhood

Hanakotoba

rose (white) – innocence, I deserve you, deep respect

rose (white buds) – too young to fall in love, girlhood

Sunflower Meanings

Victorian flower language

sunflower (dwarf) – your devout adorer, adoration

sunflower (tall) – pride, haughtiness, false riches, lofty and pure thoughts, smile on me still

Hanakotoba

sunflower – I look only at you, love, worship

Lily Meanings

Victorian flower language

daylily (yellow) – coquetry

lily – majesty, pride and modesty, majesty & honour, purity of heart

lily of the valley – return of happiness, the heart withering in secret, modesty, sweetness, tears of the virgin mary, happiness, humility

lily (calla) – feminine modesty, beauty, magnificent beauty

lily (day) – coquetry

lily (eucharis) – maiden charms

lily (imperial) – majesty

lily (japanese) – you cannot deceive me

lily (orange) – hatred, dislike

lily (superb) – splendour

lily (tiger) – wealth, pride, prosperity

lily (white) – purity and sweetness, purity, sweetness, virginity, majesty, it’s heavenly to be with you, youth

lily (yellow) – falsehood, coquetry, gaiety, I’m walking on air, false, gay, gratitude

water lily – eloquence, purity of heart

water lily (peltated) – wisdom

water lily (white) – eloquence, purity of heart, purity

Hanakotoba

carma lily – pureness, multi-talented person

easter lily – pureness, sweetness, dignity

himeyuri – pride

kanoko lily – mercy, beauty

lily of the valley – happiness will come again, pure, chastity, humility

lily turf – hidden heart, patience

sasayuri – elegant

tiger lily – sage, wealth and pride

yamayuri – majestic

yuri/lily – pure, innocent, dignity

yuri/lily (white) – innocence, dignity

yuri/lily (red/pink) – void

yuri/lily (yellow) – false, cheerful

yuri/lily (orange) – brilliant, fun

yuri/lily (Casablanca) – dignity, pureness, nobility

waterlily – innocent heart, trust, faith

zephyrlily – tainted love, letters, expectation

French Countryside Flowers (by the water)

fleur de lis – flame, I burn

iris – I have a message for you, message, faith, wisdom, promise in love, hope, valour

iris (flaming) – flame

iris (german) – flame, ardour

– Mod Jana

Disclaimer

This blog is intended as writing advice only. This blog and its mods are not responsible for accidents, injuries or other consequences of using this advice for real world situations or in any way that said advice was not intended.

[katrandomwrites]

AO3 Link \ Part Two [soon]

Short vignettes from each of the crew and their relationship with Jonny's heart.

(Is it out of character? Yeah probably but I like the sibling-esque dynamic of ‘I killed them 83 times this month but if you even touch them I will salt the earth with your desiccated remains’.)

---

Part One: Dr. Carmilla (morally grey), Jonny, The Aurora, Nastya, Ashes, and Ivy TW// mention of medical abuse | canon-typical violence | sensory overload

Doctor Carmilla, Lonely Vampire

She was proud looking down at the freshly cleaned and repaired body on her table. His chest rose and fell after a week of stillness. Carmilla almost couldn't believe that she’d finally done it. Finally restored a body to life permanently.

Her cowboy groaned as he came closer to consciousness. She placed a hand on his chest, feeling the tick and flow of his new heart. It was a good heart. He was a good kid.

She wasn’t alone anymore.

Everything could be good now.

Jonny Vangelis, Dead Cowboy

Jonny woke up. He shouldn't- How was he-

Something was ticking. Where?

His chest felt heavy and his breast bone burned.

Something cold was in his hand- no, something cold was holding his hand.

His eyes shot open and he scrambled away from the cold thing only to find himself falling to the floor. He screamed when the impact lit a blazing fire of pain in his ribs.

The cold (hands?) things were back holding his face and shushing him but the pain began to pulse.

Tic. Burn. Tic. Burn.

Jonny pulled down the collar of his shirt to see a mess of thick scars and metal seams to the left of his sternum. His breathing quickened but the ticking held it’s tempo.

“What did you do?” he screamed. Carmilla’s face was inches from his as she tried to pull him closer.

“WHAT DID YOU DO, CARMA?”

The doctor’s face broke, as if she was only now realizing what was happening; what she’d done, “I-I couldn’t lose you… not like that. Not when you were still so you-”

“You promised! You promised you’d let me go!” Jonny cried.

“I’m sorry,”

Tears were falling now as Carmilla pulled him against her. Jonny tried to push her off but the pain was too much and the coolness of her cheek against his was soothing.

“It hurts,” he sobbed, “It hurts so much. Why?”

I’m sorry.

The Aurora, Cyberian Battle-cruiser

The winner of the roulette game and her new 'owner' sauntered onto the bridge and looked around. She contemplated just electrocuting him to death once he touched anything.

"I must say you are a simply gorgeous craft," he said, running a hand over the embossed leather of the captain’s seat, "Somebody put a lot of love into your creation."

The Aurora preened a bit despite herself. At least he had good taste.

“I’m gonna have to go by some polish tho, love. You are absolutely filthy! Where they finger painting with space cheetos on the flight screen,” he looked disgusted at the greasy smears decorating the console, “Maybe a steamer? Some of this shit is worked in, darling.”

>> Thank you. I would appreciate that greatly.

The intruder looked bewildered at the flight screen and fell back into the captain's seat when she rumbled in amusement. He whipped his head around as if to find a source or rogue crewman.

>> Did you really just win a ship without knowing what it was?

>> Poor planning on your part.

The intruder took a moment to process what was happening before he crossed his arms and huffed, "I just do what the Doc tells me so she doesn't decide that I'm in need of having my chest ripped open again."

>> Judging by the way you won me: I would say that isn't detrimental to your life.

"It still fucking hurts!"

The Aurora rumbled again, finding that she quite enjoyed her guest. He may be fussing in the captain's seat, pretending to be offended, but he was still watching the screen for anything else she had to say.

It had been years since anyone had treated her as anything other than just a means of transportation with the downside of sentience. She found herself analysing him closer and realized there was a mechanically ticking coming from him.

Was he also…?

>> Well, I suppose I must register you as Captain so we may take off. I am unable to lift off without any registered crew.

Her guest shifted uncomfortably in his seat, "Not that I don't appreciate that but, uh, I think that's more her place."

The Aurora was starting to get the idea that whoever his travel companion was, they would not be getting along.

>> No

He startled and Aurora realized just how young he looked. Her previous crews were all older Cyberians weathered and jaded by constant battle. This new…. boy, looked more like the young men barely old enough to grow beards that manned her mess hall during the war.

She still remembered the sad stories they told of home.

>> No. You earned me. I am choosing you as the Captain.

"But-"

She buzzed at him before pulling up a login screen.

>> Primary Captain : Please Enter Your Information As Prompted_

Her guest hesitated before beginning to type. It was endearing how gently he placed his hand over the print reader and she could feel the strange rhythm of his heartbeat flitting across his palm.

>> Welcome Captain Jonathon E. Vangelis .

Jonathon beamed at the Aurora's screen before a look of horror dawned on him, "She's going to skin me alive," he whispered.

The Aurora hummed as anger charged her systems and pulled up another screen.

>> I have an idea

>> Loading…

>> Primary Captain profile locked and hidden.

>> Passcode Set to: Handprint and Vocal Verification

>> Loading...

>> First Mate : Please Enter Your Information As Prompted_

“But she’ll know if the Captain’s position is filled” Jonathan protested.

>> I was built to house up to three captains. Your doctor doesn’t have to know that one of the positions has been filled.

Jonathon stared at the screen with a small smile and sniffled before typing again. His accent that had rounded and drawn his words was muted under an average Basic dialect as he spoke now.

>> Welcome, First Mate Jonny d'Ville .

>> Now about those cleaning supplies...

Nastya Rasputina, Former Princess

She ran, following the instructions the Aurora had given her deeper into the ship. She turned to make sure the doctor wasn't following her and ran directly into something warm and squishy. They landed with a grunt.

Nastya scrambled up to look at the… kid? He looked at her in surprise before turning to anger and suspicion..

"How the fuck did you get down here?"

Nastya opened her mouth and realized she didn’t have a response to that. Her eyes began to burn.

“Oh shit. Fuck. I’m sorry I didn’t- Shit shit shit.”

None of this registered as Nastya began to sob. A hand brushed her arm and she threw herself into the boy’s lap. It was undignified but it felt good to be touched by a warm body instead of the doctor’s cold hands.

“Okay, shit,” he shifted her around so her face was buried in his chest.

“I-I’m sorry-, Nastya choked out, “she-she just kept poking and I couldn’t- it hurt so much.”

The arms around her shoulders tightened, causing her to turn her head and look up at him. He looked sad, not in a pitying way but a guilty way.

“I’ll talk to her okay? Sometimes… sometimes she forgets we can feel like that,” he sighed, “I’m Jonny by the way.”

Nastya vaguely remembered the Doctor mentioning there was another like her on board.

“Nastya.”

Jonny gave her a smile and leaned back against the wall with her still pressed against his chest. Nastya rested her head on his sternum and heard an odd ticking sound.

Huh , she thought distantly, that’s why he’s like me. The ticking heart to my metal blood.

Nastya fell asleep safe.

Ashes O’Reilly, Pyromaniac Gangster

Ashes took another shakey drag of their cigarette as the adrenaline from burning Malone faded. They were tired and a rotting sense of uneasy was beginning to fester in their chest.

Of course now was the time Camilla's wannabe cowboy decided to make an appearance for only the second time since Ashes had been taken in. He gave them a strange look before Ashes blew a hole in his gut.

He hit the floor with a dull thud, “Fucking rude.”

“I’m not the one who can’t knock. Were you born in a fucking barn?”

Jonny gave a sputtering laugh as he scooped a handful of intestines back into his abdomen, “Probably, either that or the chicken coop.”

Ashes snorted, the sound surprised them and Jonny grinned.

"Probably made in there too," Jonny continued, not bothering to get up when his stomach healed.

Ashes let out a full body laugh that edged into hysterical. The image of a guy in cowboy boots pushing intestines back into their gut and cracking jokes was unreal. Even after managing to burn down an entire planet.

“Uh, you okay?”

Jonny was standing in front of them now. A look of concern on his face.

Ashes rubbed a hand across their face and realized hot tears were beginning to streak down their cheeks.

They were so tired.

“I’m just-” their breathing hitched but they refused to cry, “I’m just tired. Arson really takes it out of you, ya’ know?”

Jonny’s mouth twisted into a forced smile before he sat down on the bed with them, “This may be over stepping, so go ahead and throw me out if you want but, uh, if you need to sleep, without the nightmares, I might be able to help.”

“Who said anything about nightmares?” Ashes shifted away from him.

Jonny rolled his eyes, “Do you want help or not?”

“What are you gonna do? Shoot me to sleep?”

“No, but Nastya-” Jonny’s ears turned red, “Nastya says that my ‘heartbeat’ always knocks her out. Something about the rhythm being perfectly consistent? It’s just an offer, if you’re not comf-”

“I’d like that,” Ashes said, looking away, “I’m actually not all that used to having my own room and sleeping alone yet. Never had the opportunity even in the Sevens.”

Jonny gave them a small smile before being manhandled into a pile of carefully arranged pillows. His shirt was unceremoniously ripped off in exchange for one of Ashes’ cleaner shirts. (They would not be getting that shirt back)

Ashes gave their set up a hard once over now that there was a cowboy shoved in with their stuffed Charizard before climbing in and resting their body over his.

He wiggled to get an arm free and began to run it carefully through their hair. It didn’t take long before the both of them were asleep.

Ivy Alexandria, Amnesiac Librarian

Everything was too loud and bad . Ivy stumbled through the halls with her hands over her ears in a futile attempt to block it out when the 'it' is her own brain.

She opens her eyes for a moment and instantly regrets it as everything around her seems to shout directly into her mind.

It hurt. Why did it have to hurt?

At some point she managed to find a dark place to wedge herself into and tears are soaking her collar by the time somebody finds her. She can't focus on anything but the metallic whine of her brain and the presence of something loud that she must get away from when a callused hand is suddenly holding her arm and stops the bad feeling there.

She gasps and grabs for the thing (person?) that makes the bad go away, landing in it’s lap. It rumbles something and positions her so her ear is pressed against it.

Ivy wants to fight it and sit up but then she hears something through the whining in her head.

shht tic shht tic shht tic

Hands wind around her shoulders and tangle in the hair at the base of her neck as she begins to relax and start counting the ticks.

_PersonelID [Jonny d'Ville, First Mate]

_MechID [HeartV.3.4]

__ 70 beats per minute

__Operation Efficiency [87%]

_System Notification: Access Granted to [JEVan_HeartCntrlUnit]

_MasterCommandEntry Opened

_[Assisted_SleepCycle] Enabled

_Countdown Begins

_3

_2

_1

_

[nattinatalia]

If the kids were teens during this. This would’ve been their group chat today.

EZ : Why are the old men at our school?

Mia : Huh?

Cassie : I’m just trying to get to class. I just see my dad with his camera 🎥 up in the air.

Mia : Why do they look scared? 😭

EZ : THEY JUST WALKED INTO MY CLASS WTF

Cassie : What are they even doing?

EZ : He thinks he’s doing something.

Mia : STOP 😭😭😭

EZ : He’s acting like he knows what he’s doing 💀💀 These old asses weren’t popular in their time, they have to come ruin ours???

Cassie : Cheesy you have bad luck, out of all the classes, they end up at yours.

Mia : Not someone yelling and coming up to me saying “Mia your daddy is here.” And winking 🤮 🤢

Cassie : I just spotted Neelam, her and her big bag 😭😭😭😭😭

EZ : Cass, the teachers were flirting with Tio Urb.

Cassie : 🙄 🥱

Mia : SEND HELP

Mia : PLEASE WHYYY??? Look at what I just saw when I was going to the restroom.

EZ : He’s acting like a groupie. He need to go home.

Mia : Bye, dad just said he was gonna bail me out for the day.

Cassie : Same, my dad texted me telling me to meet him at the front.

EZ : Wait what?

EZ : What about me?

Cassie : 👀

EZ : TELL THEM I WANT TO LEAVE TOO.

EZ : What did they say?

EZ : Mia…..

EZ : Cass???

EZ : SOMEONE ANSWER ME!!! I’M TRYING TO LEAVE!!!!!!

*Mia & Cassie have left the chat*

🩵💭🩵💭🩵💭🩵💭🩵

This was only for fun!!!! I loved all the school pictures of today!!!!! & if you know my made up kids, you know they’ll be trolling about it.

•

TAG LIST

@heavyhitterheaux @harlowsbby @arination99 @cmalass @jackharloww @minkookie95 @deannaard @jacksmoviestar @harlowcomehome @fdl305 @httpkoylinnn @xoxokiaraaxoxo @hoodharlow @automaticpeachsong @amethyst09 @aliciacat20 @allyson15 @gabbylovesreading @stefansalvatoresgf @violetdreamsworld @carma-fanficaddict @jasminxts @itsaaliyah2 @itsyagirljaz @harrycanyonmoonn @neon-lights-and-glitter @awhore4moree

[torujours]

Can I please have a drabble of daichis fem s/o playing a prank that she's pregnant (for her YouTube video) and she shows signs of it and stuff and by the end she tells him it was a prank. But a day after she gets a call from the doctor telling her that she is pregnant..

˖♡ ˗ˏˋ Lexi's notes: hiya!! aw this is so cute! I loved writing this so thanks for requesting and hope you like it! ˎˊ-

Once the camera is in place and in focus, you sit down in you chair and smile evilly at yourself on the screen. Leaning over slightly to press record, you give a warmer smile as you say your normal greeting. You have been doing youtube for sometime now and noticed this pregnancy prank rolling around so why not try it on Daichi, your boyfriend of 3 years. “I’ve been “showing symptoms of being pregnant..” you explain to the camera. Like feeling sick in the morning, having funky cravings etc for a couple of days leading up to the big surprise. 

 A fake, positive pregnancy test. You even show the fake to the camera, already chuckling as you state your predictions of how he will react. “Cry? Maybe I know he wants to have a family..” You smile at the though of genuinely having children with him but right now you just wanna poke a little fun at the idea. Picking up the camera, you bring it into the bathroom and situate in a way that is out of sight but still captures what you need it to see. Walking back in frame to place the fake test on the sink counter “Daichi is in the living room, we have plans to go out so I’m going to have him come in here to grab me something so he sees the test..” You explain to the camera, hoping he even sees the test as you walk away from the carma and head towards the living room.

Smiling upon seeing Daichi, sitting in the living room. You plop down next to him, trying to hold back a smile as he greets you warmly “Ready to go babe?” You give him a nod before faking your look of forgetting something. “I think I left my phone in the bathroom, Can you grab it for me while I get my shoes on?” He laughs sweetly and tells you sure, leaving you to just wait for his reaction.

Walking into the bathroom, Daichi spots your cellphone on the sink. Picking it up before spotting something unfamiliar in the corner of his eye. Looking back at the sink he stares at the foreign object before it hits him like a ton of bricks just what is looking back at him. The camera picks up his shell shocked staring before he slowly picks it up a wide smile blooming on his face as he calls out for you. Speaking of, you have already made your way to the bathroom and are smiling at him when he turns to look at you. Rushing towards you to bring you into a big, tight hug “Are you-? Is this? You are pregnant?” His words come out rushed and excited, mkaking you feel a little bad for playing his prank on him but can’t help but laugh, taking the test from him and shaking your head “Smile for the camera love” you point to your hidened camara as realization hits your beloved boyfirend again who laughs along with you “Damn baby you got me good this time..” You are about to say sorry when your phone rings, taking it from Daichi’s hand you answer it and listen to the voice on the other line.

Your face is unreadable but there is no mistaking it's shock you are feeling, the way your eyes widen looking at Daichi who is looking more concerned now “What’s wrong?” you just say thank you to the person on the phone and hang up. Forgetting that the camera is still on, you give him a warm and genuine smile placing your hand on your stomach “I’m pregnant..really pregnant” 

Let's just say Daichi is very happy at the real news and your prank video ends up on youtube’s trending page only a mere hour after posting it with the title “Pregnancy prank on boyfriend! Gone better than expected”

[dupliciaa]

Please tell me abt caecilla and her partners

so caecilia and her partners is a very new development i'm working on. they're probably going to feature throughout the story but caecilia is only going to get with them kind of towards the end. the girl's name is parker, but i still don't have a name for the guy yet.

parker and her boyfriend are both members of carma's elite military assigned to special missions most of the time. they both have training in spy activity and such, so their main job is to infiltrate the human's military and get information that might be useful for carma. they're mostly passive, though they do make it a point to help set free witches and other magical creatures every chance they're given.

parker is a photographer. she has a very straightforward and blunt personality, not really taking shit from anyone. the guy is more passive than parker. he's mute and uses sign language to communicate. they're both also trans !

when kamila and co finally make it to sanctuary, there's going to be a point where caecilia is going to require bodyguards or people to watch her so she doesn't cause any trouble, so parker and the guy are going to be assigned to her. i'm not really sure how they're going to get together, but caecilia is going to be very confused by the whole thing. ultimately the love they both have for caecilia is going to be the reason she recovers from her trauma. all caecilia needs is someone to show her that she's truly loved because all her life she's been told the opposite.

[heavyhitterheaux]

Sisters No More Preview

First Lady of Private Garden Fic

"Please, Y/N, just let me explain." Dani said as she pleaded with you while you wanted to slam the door in her face.

"I thought Jack made himself clear in saying that we want you to stay far away from us. I haven't answered your calls or texts or HIS for a reason." You said as you held your youngest to your chest that of course was her namesake. Now it left a bitter taste in your mouth.

"I have to explain myself, it will make sense when I do!"

"Make sense? Do you hear yourself right now? How the hell can you make sense of this? You lied to me for 24 years and would have probably kept lying to me if you two didn't get caught. Now as understanding of a person as I am, why did you feel the need to lie to me?"

"I... I don't know. I don't have an answer for that but everything I have done has been for you and Jack."

"No, it hasn't. it's been for you. You have literally been on your Kris Jenner shit and been pimping us out so to speak ever since we were younger."

"When I told you I would do anything for the both of you, I meant it! I wanted to see you both be successful!"

"But this was the wrong way to go about it and YOU KNOW IT. Jack feels as though he didn't get signed to Generation Now because he was talented, but because YOU had a hand in it. Oh, and apparently I also heard that he only got his role in White Men Can't Jump because of you. Otherwise, they were going to pick someone else."

"You two should be fucking thanking me for this."

"I'm not thanking you or THAT MAN for shit. Because we would have still been successful if your ass would have minded your own fucking business."

"YOU ARE MY BUSINESS!"

All you could do was shake your head and look at her in disbelief.

"You really don't see anything wrong in what you did? Do you?"

"I only regret lying to the two of you. But I don't regret doing what I had to do to get you two to this point."

Just then you felt Jack come up behind you, saw Dani and immediately stepped in front of you.

"Babe, go back inside before you both catch a cold." Jack said without taking his eyes off Dani and you went to sit back on the couch in the living room.

"Jack, please just listen to me and hear me out."

"What, Danielle? What is there to hear out? Don't you think you've done enough? How would you feel if the roles were reversed and she was the one who lied to you?"

"I just... I had to do something to let her know that I loved her and cared about her."

"If you really loved and cared about her like you say you do, you wouldn't have had this go on for so long. No one deserves to get treated like this by their birth mother."

Taglist:

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[randomsevans]

The habit part 2

@jtargaryen18 30daysofchris2020

'How could you let your self be so foolish ' you kept telling yourself all night along .With the tears, throwing pillows (anything you could get your hands on ) around . Needles to say , you didnt get any sleep again and you see if being that way for a while .

After a long day of advoiding Steve in the gym , you dont think you have ever worked out more in your life , your knuckles were close to bleeding, many times Bucky had to keep telling you to stop. It wasnt till night fell you could truly let your emotions out . It wasnt till you caused a loud sound that echoed though the tower , when you though your lamp . When Nat and Bucky came to your room and looked after you again .

The morning air was quite and cold , Nat and Buck had went to go and get breakfast as you stayed your room to get change . You felt numb as if your soul was gone . You dont know why you feel like this, you cant help it , but it's not like you two were anything . You were just stuiped to catch feeling for something he probably seen has he being nice . That why it makes it feel so worst , you cant be mad . How can you ? Its Steve the most kindest human with those stuiped blue eyes . The only person you should be mad at is your self .

Turning a corner you felt half asleep . In zombie mode . You were looking at your feet which were slowly making there way forward when you collided with a wall and fell straight on your ass . "God ,y/,n you in there ? Someone tired this morning?" Arrr great clint , your never gonna live this down

"Ass !" You said getting up.

"Well you just fell on yours " clint laught walking into the kitchen "ha guy ,guess I didnt know we had a zombie in the compand?" He shouted annoyingly to group of people that were all around the table as he sat down .

You begin to walk over not amused by Clint or anyone , when you notice there was no seats left . Everyone was in there own conversation, talking about the most stuiped morning shit . You quickly glance maybe there might be one seat . No none . You looked at steve he had the biggest smile on his face, laughing as hes arm was behind Sharon was was snug against his side smiling. In your seat . Your chest tightened again . But you didnt know what more for a the fact no one saw you, Sharon and Steve or that fact . YOUR seat was taken . You have never felt so alone and pushed out of the group like you dont belong. There were all happy, your dark mood would just worsen their day , if they even knew you were there .

You turned to the kitchen and got a bowl , some cereal you randomly picked up . And turned around to walk out the room . As you left you heard to echoes of laughter as you made your way back into your room with clouded eyes . It wasnt till you reached outside your room you looked at the bowl . You forget the milk . 'Wow y/n good . Oh what the fuck I'm not even hungry!'you thought as you though the bowl toward the wall opposite your door . You just watched it smash into pieces, going all over the follow , watching the cereal slip every where ,bouncing along the corridor . You just stared at it , feeling numb , not even feeling bad for making a mess you are not going to clean up . You just thought what a symbol for your heart . Your not even sure you have one anymore .

You entered your room , slowly as if you were scared to move to fast .

"Friday " you called out .

"Yes Miss y/l/n ?"

"Dont let anyone in my room ..." you began " if anyone even comes looking " you whispered the last part .

"Do you intend to stay in here to day miss ."

"Yes I'm staying "

"Are you sick ?"

"Of life " you mumbled "no I just want to stay in here " you said more firmly.

"But miss you have training with Captain Roger's at 10 am "

"Cancel it ! ... in fact cancel all my sessions with him , change it to either Barnes or Romanoff!"

"Cancel ! ... Captain Roger's has been informed and his new partner will be miss Carter under his request " she announced , now that stings " I'm sorry miss but Barnes and Romanoff already booked their session and theres no changing.."

"I'll do it my self then .."

"M'sorry miss you cant ..."

"I can !"

"Its not saf....."

"It doesnt matter anyway Friday , I'll do it my self , Its not big deal , and if anyone ask I'm out !"

"Okay miss "

Silence. Silence fill the room , bring pain to your ear drums . You walk toward your bed and lift the covers and plop your self in between the cover , pulling the blanked over your head . You let out a loud sob as your head hit the pillow , mufling the sound as cold tears stream down your hot cheeks . You feel like you cant breath between the weight of the sheets over your head and your sobbing.

This was your new habit

You feel your eyes become heaving as your breath become even more irregular and tear ducts dry , you felt your mind wonder into darkness .

○●○○●○○●○○●○○●○○

'BANG!'

You jumped a wake , 'god what time is it?' Your mind was pounding much like the door , adrenaline though your veins

"Y/n ?" Bucky , okay so you know that voice . Your mind still fuzzy from walking up

"What's going on ?" You hurned another voice outside 'Tony ?' You think

"Is everything okay ?" Your heart stopped ' Steve ?'

"NO ITS NOT !" You heard Nat .'god is the whole team outside.

"What the matter " great Sharon

"Nothing to concern you " bucky anger shown in his voice .

"Ha Buck calm down no need to be like that to my girl " Steve defended .

"Oh fuck off would ya " Bucky shout " y/ n please open up !"

"Bucky calm down " Tony yelled over Bucky ."Friday open the door "

"I'm sorry sir I cant "

"What ! "

"Dont you think we've tried that tony "Nat now sounded worried "y/n I know your in there "

"Miss y/n is out " Friday said .

"See she out ! No need to be like this " steve

"No she hasn't left the compand I check to carma s , have you even seen her today ?" Natasha now sounds on the verge of tears , while you sat still on your bed scared to move.

"No .. no I havnt , she cancel our session " Steve voice wavered in panic " is shes okay?"

"Maybe shes sick , Friday is y/n sick ? " Tony ask .

"Of life sir " Friday respond ,great she heard that.

Gasp were heard out side , you ran into the bathroom scared as if you were a child in trouble you sat your self on the floor, knees tucked under your chin , rocking back and forth , more tears rolling down , how is more tears even possible at this point?

More ponding at the door. "Y/n please tell me you haven't done something stuiped ?" Bucky sounded as if he was near to crying , with considnt pouncing at your door . "Please!!" He shouted at the top of his lungs " open the door "

"She just probably being dramatic " you heard sharon wining voice .The next thing your heard was a loud shudder as somthing hit the floor , followed by screams of "NAT ! " "ROMANOFF!" "NATASHA !"

"Say that again and I'll kill you "

"Nat stop " steve switch to his cap voice "open the door y/n .. come on this isn't funny "

"Leave now "Bucky challenged Steve .

"No not until I know shes okay !" Steve challenged Bucky .

"She will be when you leave !"

"But ..." Steve began

"Why do you even care ?" Bucky shouts

"Because I lo....."

"Steve please " you heard sharon crying.

"Oh babe ...come on .. Nat apologise!"

"Over my dead body ... now every one leave " nat voice filled with authority.

"Okay !" Followed by foot steps heading the other direction.

"Y/n everyone's left it's just me and Buck , open up , we ain't mad just worried open up please or at least let us know your okay?"

Silence . You dont know how long . But it was just silent .

In a low whisper your voice barely cracking though the thick abosant of sound " friday inform them I'm okay "

"Of course miss " friday respond.

Silence again . Once again you wernt able to measure the amount of time due to your fuzzy mind .

"Okay. Come out when your ready , eh ? Just know your not going to push us away " bucky said

"And what did a bowl of cereal ever do to you eh " Natasha let out a small laugh . Which caused you to make a small chuckle.

You found strength and wonder to your door slowly ,pulling it open to reveal two very red eyed worried assistant. You wander how you can make two of the most deadly people in the world near to tears .

"It didnt have milk" you put on a small innocent smile .

Bucky grinning down at you with Natasha on his side even smiling more . "There she is "

[aria-writes]

[Non-]Confession

Dear Tegan.

When I think of you, I’m reminded of fruit. Something sweet and citrus with a tough and slightly bitter rind, but once you really dig your fingers in there, the shell falls away to reveal the bright softness underneath.

Or perhaps it isn’t really that thick, and it’s more like the skin of a mango– easy enough once you know how, it’s just that no one really bothers to put in the effort to do so.

But when the right opener comes around, the long wait was worth it, saving the beauty inside for the perfect moment.

One fruit I personally find perfect and beautiful is the peach, which is ironic, because you definitely do not have one of those as advertised in emoji form, it’s more like a pancake than anything ;D

Insincerely, your frenemy Viktoria

P.S. ahahahahaha please don’t hate me

Tegan swiveled in his seat and glared at Viktoria and Tyler, who were sitting behind him and failing to contain their laughter.

He shook his head slightly as they high-fived. “Did you really go through the trouble of thinking of and writing down all that just to lead into ‘lol your butt is flat’?”

Viktoria clenched her hands on her desk and composed herself just long enough to say “Yes,” completely deadpan, before dissolving into another round of giggles.

Of course my best friend and my crush would team up against me, he thought to himself. Fate is a cruel mistress.

...Okay, tone it down, Kylo Ren.

“That’s just so...extra.” He inclined his head, considering. “Okay, fair, extra is kinda Arlington’s thing I guess, so if—“

“Mr. Novak! Please!” The teacher’s exasperated tone called out from the front of the room.

Tegan’s shoulders slumped as he gave Viktoria the most pity-inducing look he could muster, who mouthed ‘Sorry!’ at him and at least had the decency to look sheepish in response.

***

Tyler jostled Viktoria’s shoulder as they left class. “Congrats, you’ve finally made it into the ‘lost cause’ club!”

Viktoria pumped her fist into the air with a sarcastic grin. “Every parents’ dream!”

Tegan hiked his backpack farther up his shoulder. “I don’t know how I've managed to avoid entry for this long.”

Tyler gestured with his hands. “You just gotta act out more, in less passive ways.”

Tegan groaned and flopped sideways as he walked, leaning his head on top of Viktoria’s. “See, but that requires effort.”

Viktoria grinned and patted the top of his head. “Poor baby.”

Tegan righted himself with a groan and half-heartedly attempted to fix his hair.

“Viktoria, sidebar.” Tyler grabbed her by the arm and pulled her into the garden area before she even had the chance to blink, let alone protest.

“Why haven’t you told him?”

Viktoria fiddled with the hem of her skirt and glanced at the blades of grass peeking out from underneath her shoes.  “Told who what?”

Tyler crossed his arms and scowled in a scarily accurate impression of Tadashi. “Don’t play dumb with me, Vik. It’s not cute.”

Viktoria collapsed onto the bench, head in her hands, and let her bag fall to the ground. “I just… I dunno, I feel like it’s so painfully obvious, I guess, then if he can’t tell then it’s because he doesn’t want to. React. Or see it. That I am– or, that I have, um...”

Tyler took a seat next to her and placed his hands on her shoulders. “Okay, listen. I love Tegan. And he is denser than liquid mercury.”

Viktoria’s brows furrowed. “But—“

Tyler gestured grandly outwards at their surroundings.

“Call it Newton’s third law or perfectly balanced as all things should be or whatever, but somehow, despite his IQ of like, 200, he’s not going to get a hint unless you physically drop it in his lap.” He cocked his head. “Maybe not even then,” he said, mostly to himself.

Viktoria took a deep breath, then sat up straighter and squared her shoulders. “What can I do?”

Tyler half-shrugged and braced one hand against the seat.

“Honestly, the only way you’re going to get through to him is to walk up and say something really straightforward like ‘hey, I like you and I would really like to go out with you sometime, what do you say?’...and you might have to clarify that yes, you mean as in a date date and not just as friends.”

Viktoria recoiled. “What? Tyler! That’s gonna kill him!”

Tyler rolled his eyes and leaned back against the backrest of the bench. “He’ll survive! Probably!”

Viktoria started down at her lap and picked at the skin at the edges of her fingernails.

“I’m still trying to figure some things out. In the meantime, do you mind not telling him about this?”

Tyler sighed and crossed one of his legs over the other so one ankle was resting on the opposite knee. “I can’t lie to him.”

Viktoria bit her bottom lip. “I wouldn’t ask you to. But could you please not bring it up out of nowhere otherwise? Or like, unless he directly asks you.”

Tyler solemnly raised his right hand. “Scout’s honor.”

Viktoria squinted at him. “You were a scout?” she asked, dubious.

Tyler grinned suddenly. “No, but I will swear on my most prized box of thin mints.”

Viktoria grinned back and reached over to high-five his raised hand. “Even better.”

Tyler let his hand drop and shifted his weight. “So who else knows?”

Viktoria winced and pulled the hair back out of her face. “Um, Alistair, Tadashi, Ellie, I think Neha, maybe Claire—”

Tyler blinked owlishly and motioned for her to stop. “Bruh, at this rate everybody in the entire school is going to know before Tegan does.”

Viktoria wrapped her arms around herself. “Well, at least I didn’t tell Raquel. I get the feeling that she’s not exactly a vault of secrets.”

Tyler pursed his lips and looked over her shoulder at the lattice. “Oh, you sweet summer child.”

Viktoria swallowed thickly and slumped backward in her seat. “And I just set a ticking time bomb for myself.”

Tyler raised an eyebrow and patted her on the knee. “Look, whatever it is that you have to work out, you better make it quick. I’ll do my level best, but I make no promises that I cannot keep.”

Viktoria reached over and gave him a gentle punch on the arm. “Snitches get stitches, Williams.”

Tyler shivered involuntarily. “Ooh, I just felt a chill. Did you just feel a chill? Two can play at this game, Lin. No, that’s not really–“

“–it’s too short to be threatening,” Viktoria finished, glancing up and to the left as she recalled her friends’ surnames.  

“Drew. See, it just doesn’t work well.”

Tyler furrowed his brows and leaned forward. “Collins. There we go. Durand.”

Viktoria smiled slightly and rested her arm on the armrest nearest to her. “Novakova. Pereira-Carma— no, that’s on the other end, it’s too long.”

She reached over to grab the strap of her abandoned backpack. “Dude, did we just skip class?”

Tyler scratched the back of his head. “Hm, I think we did. Well, it was the last one of the day, so…”

Viktoria sighed and pulled herself to her feet. “Alright cool, I’m going to hide in my room until morning.”

Tyler grinned and shot finger guns at her. “See you then. And good luck.”

***

The next morning, Viktoria headed to the bathroom first thing. She had just set her bag of toiletries down on the sink counter when Tyler came rushing in, frenetic.

Viktoria broke into a cold sweat and whirled around to wave her toothbrush at him. “I’m brushing my teeth! I am brushing my teeth! I promise!”

“Ugh, you would not believe– well maybe you would, but I digress—“ Tyler barreled on, ignoring her.

“I stayed strong for as long as I could, but the constant battering of ‘does she like me Tyler? But like, like like me, Tyler? are you listening to me, Tyler?’ cracked me like an egg so I finally blurted it out and he goes, ‘No, I think you’re either reading too much into things or trying to make me feel better.’ I can’t take this anymore!” He threw his arms skywards, then collapsed in a heap on the floor.

Viktoria began brushing her teeth and stared at him, as other people filed in and out without paying either of them any attention whatsoever.

Extra, as ridiculous as it seems, may have been an understatement.