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#cassie appreciation day
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Cassie Appreciation Day
Ashley Reyes' birthday is April 24th and I think a fun way to celebrate that would be to have a day just for our dear Cassandra Perez
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The rules are simple. I will be spending the day posting about Cassie, reblogging old post and making some new ones. Any and all content regarding Cassie is welcome, from fic to meta to gifs and beyond. My inbox will be open to any and all Cassie appreciation. I will be using the tag #cassie appreciation day and I will be checking that tag on the dash as well in case anyone else wants to participate.
Tagging a few people to get the word out: @theladywyn, @small-scale-majectic, @laf-outloud, @aborddelimpala, @walkerdaily, @walker-290,
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clinquaant · 2 years
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101 PLOT BUNNIES / Slow Ride, a Bradley Bradshaw Fanfiction
CASSIE “BIRDIE” BLACKWOOD WASN’T SURE OF MANY THINGS IN HER LIFE, but one thing was for certain: she was exactly where she belonged. Back at North Island after a three-year stint in Africa, Cassie was more than ecstatic to return to her old stomping grounds. After all, she hardly remembers the last time she stayed at North Island for more than a couple months at a time, usually rotating between her mother’s house in D.C. and the international missions she’s been deployed on.
While not a huge believer in fate, Cassie believed that the universe was pulling in her favor — well, somewhat. A preview of the special assignment’s roster would have been nice, but then again, Cassie performs her best under pressure. And attempting to keep a pretty hefty secret under wraps from her fellow aviators — a certain someone in particular — all the while being taught by the provocateur of it all?
Yeah…let’s see how little Birdie fights her way out of this one.
find on: pinterest / wattpad
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iminmypeace · 1 year
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orcelito · 10 months
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Lately, I've been learning to not take things for granted. I've been taking videos of my cats a bit more. Got a video today of me feeding June Bug and Tally, including bits of their meows
I deeply regret not having any record of the sound of Cassy's meow. I'm trying to make up for it with my girls, though.
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bakatenshii · 1 year
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MERRYY CHRISTMAS MY LOVES, for christmas this yr this hellsite gifted me the lovely reminder of just how much of a dumpster fire it is by unfollowing mother weese (◞‸◟;)
I HOPE UR HAVING THE BEST HOLIDAYS AHHHH KISS KISS
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m0tel6mxzzy · 2 years
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Heyyyy!!! I’ve followed you for a while cause generally I’ve always loved your aesthetic, but recently I went through the skins tag (it’s my current special interest) and saw that you were a fairly frequent contributor to the tag and also one of the few people who actually likes the show in an analytical way which made me so happy! (I’ve had to sift through so much toxic stuff to find people who are normal in that tag lmao) - sincerely, a fellow Cassie defender who wants proana freaks to get their freaky little fingernails off of her.
i’m gonna cry 😭😭😭 i’m really glad to hear that. that really warms my heart because i never see cassie as just her ed or mental illness. i think when it comes to skins, to me it’s “realistic fiction” on screen rather than in a book, so while yes it is fiction, stuff like what happened to cassie or effy can occur irl, and their plummeting mental health and people around them being affected by it in various ways isn’t ideal or glamorous. i feel the same way abt effy as someone who’s recovered from depression-her and cassie’s finales give me hope that you can manage mental illness if given the proper resources.
i think many pro-ed ppl think of cassie and see this character w an ed who gets attention for being sick, so obviously they want the same thing, bc ed’s thrive off of attention in some cases. but if u look closely, it only causes her to further regress into her illness because that’s what it does. it wants attention, but also to not be resolved. cassie has no idea how to cope with a disorder that gives her a false sense of happiness one minute, then loneliness the next. so even if her friends do care about her, they can’t actually help her or make her better-but by the end of the series cassie carves out her own plan toward recovery, especially for the sake of caring for her brother. she does it for herself, not for sid or anyone else not guaranteed to be in her life. because she knows later on that she deserves better.
cassie was sweet and bubbly, but learned to stand up for herself and find self reliance as she got older, and that’s what i adore about her. reducing her to her ed inherently washes away her development. i also notice pro ed ppl in the skins tag as well which is bothersome, because if they did watch the show, cassie is miserable because of her ed and the isolation it brings her. same w effy and her depression.
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dragongeek1 · 1 year
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WAIT staff actually listened to us and moved the profile button back to its rightful place on mobile, there is good in this world mr frodo
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marvelouslizzie · 1 year
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You're My Desire - Co-written with @notafunkiller
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Summary: Your best friend drags you out on a double date. You were supposed to be Steve Rogers' date, but plans change pretty quickly and you end up in Bucky Barnes' arms.
Pairing: 40s Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Warnings: 18+ NSFW MINORS DNI, first date, public sex, ripped clothing, teasing, rough sex, dirty talk, praise, pet names, no mention of y/n
Word Count: 5.5K
A/N: We really don't have an excuse for this one. We just wanted 40s Bucky to have a good time, you know? This is basically smut with little bit of plot.
Please give my lovely co-writer @notafunkiller a follow. She's also a Bucky Barnes writer and her stories are amazing.
All work is ours, please do not repost or translate without our permission.
Every like, comment, and reblog is highly appreciated. Don’t hesitate to message us. Unless it's hate. That's never welcome.
Read more tag starts after the first paragraph of the story.
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Even though you really didn’t want to, you find yourself on a double date with your best friend. She literally begged you to come because she promised she would bring someone for her date’s best friend and apparently she really doesn’t wanna disappoint the handsome soldier.
You're shocked, though, when you arrive at the fair and see Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes in the flesh waiting for you two at the gate.
You were pretty sure she brought you here for Bucky Barnes but it turns out your date is actually Steve Rogers, aka Captain America himself.
You don't know what to do at first, awkwardly watching your friend hugging Bucky as if they knew each other for ages. Even though they met just a day ago. Steve extends his hand politely, which you immediately shake.
It doesn’t take long for you to go inside the fun fair together while chatting casually. Your friend, Cassie, starts asking questions about the war. She loves front-line stories, but Bucky doesn’t seem like he enjoys telling them.
Steve, on the other hand, is very excited to do it, answering all of Cassie's questions as you quietly watch them. You wonder why you said yes to this date. You've never been into soldiers and even less into war discussions. But you love your friend very much even when she ignores you.
You find yourself looking at Bucky while Cassie and Steve start to chat and exchange stories. He kinda seems amused by this development. You shrug looking in his direction, waiting for him to say something. After all, you are both already bored and your friends don't even seem to care or notice you anymore in the first place.
Bucky just smiles and then tries to change the subject. You think he actually handles that topic change pretty smoothly and it sticks for a while until Cassie gets bored of talking about books.
You remark Bucky's sad face, but you don't say anything. Instead, you subtly start to walk slower, hoping he'll do the same. As Cassie keeps talking to Steve, Bucky notices you are getting behind and just slows down a little.
"You're okay? Are your legs hurting?" Bucky asks concerned while looking at her shoes.
“No, no, I’m fine. Just got tired of the war stories, that’s all.” You keep walking slowly.
"Me, too." He sighs. "It's a never-ending subject at this point."
“Well, where there's life there's hope.” You quote the Hobbit instinctively. You hold on to the hope, one day you won’t have to talk about this war.
Bucky gasps, looking at you in a way you never experienced before. "What did you say?"
“I just said where there's life there's hope.” You repeat, surprised by the way he probably recognized the quote. People usually have no idea what you are referring to. Not him though.
"You're a fan? Oh god!"
That starts your actual conversation with Bucky Barnes. It turns out he’s a big bookworm himself. He reads as much as he can, always buying more books that he manages to read.
You didn't even realize how close you are until your shoulders slightly brush. You blush when he smiles, clearly not minding. Still, you feel very conscious about your closeness and quickly look toward your friend, feeling guilty that you are enjoying the company of her date, but she doesn’t seem to care one bit. On the contrary, she’s actually holding Steve Rogers’ arm while talking and laughing.
"You're very beautiful." You hear Bucky murmur shily.
His compliment catches you off guard. You were about to apologize on behalf of Cassie. Yet you find yourself blushing.
"And you love reading. I am a lucky man. I get to talk to you."
“I could say the same thing myself, Sergeant. I much rather talk about books instead of the war.”
"Then you got the right company." Bucky smiles and looks around. "Should we get some ice cream?"
“That would be amazing.” And that’s how you end up separated from Cassie and Steve. Bucky informs them about their plan and then leaves without waiting for them.
You spend the next hour talking and walking around the entire fair. James even won a teddy bear for you. Once in a while both of you act like you wanna find Steve and Cassie, but you definitely don’t care.
"I don't remember the last time I felt so comfortable and good with someone."
“I’m glad I’m not boring the shit out of you.” You know it’s not ladylike to speak this way, but you feel comfortable around him. It’s crazy when you consider you just met him maybe two hours ago.
Bucky smiles. "I can say the same. Steve says I'm quite boring."
“He’s quite boring himself.”
"Is he?" He snorts.
“Yeah. Who knew Captain America would be into war stories?”
"Doesn't the name say it?" He continues in the same joking tone.
“The name suggests he’s heroic and boring but he’s more boring and less heroic than expected. Stealing his best friend's date doesn’t scream honorable to me.”
Bucky is shocked to see her indirectly standing up for him. "Maybe I stole his date, though."
“His date was uninterested from the start and just being nice to her best friend.”
"Is she still uninterested?"
“In him? Yes.” You act like you don’t understand what he is actually asking.
"Well, the feelings are mutual. About the date and now…"
“You were uninterested in Cassie?” You say it in a way that shows you don’t believe him.
"Wasn't it obvious?"
“Nope.” It definitely wasn’t when they hugged each other the moment they arrived.
"I was trying to be polite. She insisted on this… meeting because I helped her out. I was relieved I could bring Steve."
“She sounded very interested in you until Captain Rogers started with war stories.”
"She was staring at his… back ever since we arrived."
You burst out laughing and he joins you right after. It sets the tone for the rest of the night and makes you notice you both don’t give a shit.
*
"I want to show you something," you say after a few seconds and quickly drag him after you until you reach a darker alley close to the last attraction. You drop the teddy bear carefully at your feet. "Hi."
“Hi.” He still seems a bit confused, but it’s so cute. He looks at the teddy bear and then his eyes turn back to your face. You can’t help but smile.
"You're so cute. Has anyone told you that?" You smile in return.
He acts like thinking for a second. “No, not really. Just cute?” He fishes for more.
"And smart." You touch his chest shily. "And kind."
“Hmm, those are not what people notice first.” He moves a little bit closer. “You have something…” He doesn’t finish his sentence, instead, his thumb brushes the corner of your lips. You wait for him to wipe off whatever you had on your face before opening your mouth and letting your tongue touch his finger shamelessly.
You watch Bucky’s eyes widen out of surprise. He didn't expect that at all. You grab his hand, bringing his finger inside your mouth, and notice how his breathing quickens. Yet he doesn’t stop you.
You let your tongue play for a few seconds until you let his finger go with a small bite. He lets out the lowest moan but not only do you hear it, but you also love it.
"Wow, I…" He doesn't know what to say, all red and excited.
“You what? Do you feel uncomfortable? Excited? I mean, I can stop if you want.”
In response, brave and happy, Bucky kisses you. His tongue is already on your bottom lip asking for permission, which you grant by opening your mouth without realizing it.
The kiss isn’t shy like you expected, and he definitely knows how to kiss. The way his lips and tongue move makes you want more, right then and there.
Your hands go to his neck as you let yourself enjoy the kiss even more. You keep kissing until you feel breathless. When Bucky breaks it, he doesn’t move away. His forehead touches yours as you try to catch your breath.
"This was…"
“I wanna do something if that’s okay…” You say while suddenly getting on your knees. You are wearing your favorite nylon stockings and you're sure they are gonna get ripped, but you don't care.
Bucky thinks he's daydreaming because how can this happen? How?
"What? What are you doing?"
“I think you know what I am doing, Sergeant. Just tell me to stop if you don’t want it, okay?” Your hands move to his belt but you wait for a reaction first.
"Stop. That's not… you don't have to do this. We are having a great time anyway."
“I know I don’t have to, but I want to. Is that okay for you?”
He can only nod, totally shocked and excited at the same time.
You unbuckle him slowly. Even though you are in a public place, you're in no hurry. You unzip him while looking into his eyes. When you finally take him out of his pants, he seems speechless. He’s already hard, but as soon as you start to move your hand, he gets rock hard after maybe four pumps.
"Jesus, you're so pretty. You look like a doll on your knees."
You smile proudly. “Tell me what I look like when I do this,” you say before taking him inside your mouth.
He closes his eyes, groaning. Your mouth is so wet and warm. You take it slow at first. Your mouth moves gently while you swirl your tongue around the head.
"Please." You hear him whisper, his left hand resting against the wall behind him.
You move your mouth away from him just to ask “Please what?” Your lipstick is already a little smudged.
"Oh god, keep going. Please, you're such a pretty sight."
“Tell me how I look when you're inside my mouth and I'll continue, promise.” You wink and remind him he still hasn’t fulfilled your request.
"Like a dream. Like a goddess."
“Hmm…” You go back to taking him inside your mouth without making another comment. This time, you move a bit faster than before and start using your hand.
"Your mouth will be the death of me."
That makes you smile but you don’t stop, moving your hand and mouth at the same time, hoping for a good reaction. His hand finds its way to your hair, wrapping it enough to pull a little. That encourages you to go faster, in need for a tighter grip. And you get it: soon, he wraps more of your hair around his whole fist, moaning your name.
“I think I'm gonna…” He sounds so breathy. “You should pull away.”
You look at him, acknowledging his warning, but showing him you are ignoring it. You keep moving fast, making sure your tongue flicks around the right spot every time until he spills inside your mouth. It’s a lot more than you are used to, but you still keep going until he completely empties himself. You take your mouth off, looking into his eyes before swallowing.
"No." He covers his eyes while groaning. "You can't do this to me, doll. Jesus…"
“Do what?” You innocently ask.
He doesn't answer you, taking you by the back of the neck and kissing you sloppily. You don’t get a chance to warn him about the taste and he doesn’t seem to care one bit. He groans into your mouth when he feels your hands on his ass and breaks the kiss just to suck on your neck.
Then you feel his hands between your bodies, trying to pull up his pants again.
You break the kiss to ask: “What are you doing?”
"I'm putting on my pants," he sounds like a kid. "And I wanna get on my knees for you, too."
“Maybe I want something else that doesn’t require you to put your pants on.”
He nods, without understanding what you mean. "Alright. I'll just-" He drops his right hand until it reaches her skirt. "Is it okay?" You nod with a smile. Even though it’s not what you meant, it’s fine.
His fingers immediately go to your underwear and push it aside.
"Fuck me. Look at that." You are really wet and his curses don't help either. "Soaked. Is that for me, doll?"
“No, it’s for Captain Rogers, who bored the shit out of me.” You joke.
You feel his fingers stopping on your slit as he lifts his head. "What did you say?"
“I said it’s for Captain Rogers, who bored the shit out of me. You know that gets the girls wet.” You hope he won’t be offended by this. It’s just a silly joke.
In response, Bucky pushes a finger inside you quickly, his lips curling into a smirk. "Should I start talking about war, too? Bet that would get you even wetter."
You let out a deep breath, relieved. Thank God he isn’t offended. “That would get me dry as a desert, Sergeant Barnes.”
"Should I dye my hair then?" He snorts, moving his finger faster.
“Maybe you should get a shield. It would definitely look better on you.”
"A shield, huh?" Bucky adds another finger, trying to scissor them inside you a couple of times. "Is it too much?"
“Nope,” you say after a moan. “It’s not enough.”
"Fuck, you…" he closes his eyes. "You want another?"
“I want something else.” You smile, hoping him to understand this time.
"Yeah? Like what?"
You grab his cock and gently rub it without saying a word. You are not surprised he’s hard because his erection has been pressed on your leg for a while.
"Fuck. You want my cock, baby?"
“Yeah. Why do you think I didn’t let you pull your pants back up?”
"I don't-" He moans. "I didn't think."
“Come on. You are making me wait while I’m soaking your fingers.”
"Wanna make you…" Bucky interrupts himself by adding a third finger, his other hand going to your clit. "Happy."
“Fuck.” You throw your head back, that felt so good.
"You like this?" He rubs a little more, paying attention to your body. His fingers inside you keep the same pace, though. He isn't slowing down now even if it's the end of the world.
“Yeah, that.” You breathe out. You already feel your legs shaking and you're afraid your knees might give out, but it feels so good, you can’t seem to focus on the concerns.
"Hold on to me."
You put your hands on his shoulders and it helps you relax a bit more. After that, your orgasm comes crashing in like a big wave that leaves you breathless. He doesn't stop moving his fingers until you finish coming, then he slowly pulls them out, making sure to lick them before kissing you.
“You are such a dirty soldier, Sergeant Barnes,” you say with a smile.
"What is dirty about this?" He shrugs. "I'm a good soldier, of course."
“Doing this in a dark alley with me and licking your fingers clean like that. Very good soldier, indeed.”
"Ihm." He buries his head right onto your shoulder and breathes in. "Thank you."
“For what?” You find yourself kissing his hair while asking the question.
"For this evening and this. Thank you for trusting me."
“You are something else, Bucky,” you say while caressing his hair.
"Hmm?"
You kiss his hair and his ear, then move your lips to his neck. “You can thank me later. We are not done yet.”
"Changed your mind?" He smiles. "Want me on my knees after all?
“Maybe later.” You wink. “Now don’t act like you don’t know what I want because I know you want it, too.”
He freezes. "Wait, you're serious?"
“Of course I am serious. Just don’t finish inside, okay?”
He looks at you again all serious. "Are you sure? We don't have to, I can use my tongue."
“Don’t worry, it’s not my first time and yeah, I’m sure unless you don’t want to.”
Bucky looks at you with puppy eyes. "Uhm, it's my first time."
“Oh god.” Your eyes widen. “I… didn’t consider… that possibility. I’m sorry.”
Bucky starts laughing at your worried expression and kisses your cheek. "My first time with a bookworm doll."
You punch his shoulder. “You worried me!”
That makes him laugh even harder, and you can't help but smile. Because he's extra beautiful like this.
"Why? Do you have something against innocent boys, ma'am? Shame!"
“No, nothing against it. Absolutely would love to teach and corrupt but wouldn’t want that to be your first time.”
"You don't want to take advantage of me, huh? Such a good girl." He surprises you by suddenly lifting you and helping you wrap your legs around his torso.
“Would you like me to take advantage of you?” You kiss his jaw and cheeks.
"Fuck, yes. Yes."
“Then you have my permission to take advantage of me, too.”
He doesn't ask you again if you're sure. Instead, he lifts his right hand to your blouse and starts unbuttoning it as fast as he can. He's so impatient he even manages to rip a button. You just watch him work and smile, hoping the gentleman side of Bucky finally stops holding him back.
He groans at the sight of your hard nipples and quickly leans in to take one in his mouth.
“Oh fuck,” you whimper while he uses his tongue to play with your nipple. It feels so good you don't even notice when his hand drops under your skirt. Until you hear the ripping sound.
“What the fuck?” You can’t believe he's just ripped your nylon stockings. They are so hard to find and so expensive!
"Whha?" He doesn't even take his mouth off your nipple as he speaks.
“Do you know how expensive those stockings are?” Your surprise is so clear in your voice. “You owe me a pair of nylon stockings, Sargeant.”
"They were in the way, baby."
“Getting impatient?” You mock a little.
He pushes his hips a little more. "Can't you feel?"
“You still owe me a pair.”
"What about these?" His hands are now on her panties. "How many do I need to buy you so I can rip these off?"
“Just one pair, but if you wanna rip that one, too, this cycle might never end.”
He sighs, contemplating, but he finally decides not to, only pushing your underwear aside. "How do you want it?"
“What do you mean?”
Bucky takes another step until your back barely brushes against the wall. "How do you like this? The sex."
“Don’t try to act all kind and push aside what you actually want to do. That’s how I want it.”
"Do you uhm… like it fast or slow? The pace I mean." He's slowly pushing inside you while he asks, trying to be as gentle as possible.
“That’s exactly what I meant. Do it however you want and we will see how I like it. Don’t be too gentle like this.”
"Talk to me, okay?" He's halfway inside you now, staying still for a few seconds as he leaves small kisses on your neck.
“Oh, I will, don’t worry, handsome. No one can stop me from complaining if I don’t like something.”
"Good girl." He tries different types of thrusts and angles at first, wanting to see what you respond to the most.
“Fuck. Why do you keep saying that?” She moves her hips to make him thrust faster.
"Because you're my good girl. Dirty too." He moans when he feels you. "God, you want it faster, baby?"
“Yes, yes, I do. Please. Move faster.”
And he does, his grip on your ass tightening as he starts thrusting just the way you want. "Fuck, you're soaked. You feel so good around me."
“You feel good, too.” You moan in between words. “And you are strong. Really strong,” you remark because he doesn’t look tired while holding you.
But he doesn't seem to acknowledge that. "I'm so fucking lucky, Jesus." He groans when he feels your lips sucking on his collarbone.
“You didn’t think your double date would end this way, huh?”
"Deep inside you? Not a chance." He smiles, speeding up.
“Maybe deep inside someone else.” You tease on purpose.
Bucky immediately stops thrusting. "What?"
“I was just joking about how we were meant to be on a date with other people.” You hate that you can’t shut your mouth sometimes.
"Oh," he nods, restarting to move. "Well, I can assure you, he wouldn't have done this tonight." He jokes back.
“Fuck me against the wall like this?”
"Fuck you at all. But especially like this. And the language?" He laughs. "Never."
“Oh, so honorable of him.” You keep joking. “Poor Cassie.”
His right-hand flies behind your head to protect it as his thrusts become way too quick. "Fuck. You feel like heaven, I swear."
“God, how do you do that?” You are surprised that he can carry you with one hand. “Are you sure you aren’t a super soldier yourself?”
Bucky shakes his head amused. "That will go straight to my ego."
“You're carrying me with one hand while protecting my head with the other, and you keep fucking me at the same time. I think it should go straight to your ego.”
He groans. "Lower one of your hands now."
“Lower it where exactly?” You don’t understand what he wants.
His hand moves from the back of her head for a few seconds just to bring her fingers to her clitoris. "Right here. Can you rub this for me?"
“Ohh.” You finally understand what he’s trying to do, so you listen and start rubbing yourself while his hand goes back to your head.
"Good, good girl. Look at you." He doesn't even realize how deep his thrusts are because his focus is on your fingers.
“Oh god… It feels so good.” You have never done something like this before. No public sex, no touching yourself during sex, no good girl whispers next to your ear. They all make you feel dizzy.
"Yeah? Just good?" His mouth finds your breasts this time, and you just know he's leaving a few marks there by the way he sucks on your skin.
“You wanna hear how good it makes me feel?”
"Ihmm."
“Oh, you are even dirtier than you are showing, aren’t you, Sergeant Barnes?”
He looks up immediately. "Say that again." He demands.
“Sergeant Barnes?”
"Fuck, you need to rub faster."
“You need to fuck me harder.” You say while listening to his order.
"Harder?" He repeats, shocked, not expecting that in the slightest. But he does as you demand in a heartbeat, biting his tongue because it feels so good.
You have a hard time holding back your reaction because it feels just perfect. You can feel your orgasm approaching.
“Shit, you need to cover my mouth,” you say as quickly as possible.
"Just use me. Bite my shoulder," he suggests quickly, keeping the pace exactly the same.
You wanna say no, because you don’t wanna hurt him but there’s no other choice left. You sink your teeth in somewhere between his neck and shoulder and try to muffle yourself. The orgasm hits you so hard that you are afraid someone is gonna hear you even like this.
"Fuck," he groans, the pain feeling amazing as you keep coming, your legs wrapping even more tightly around his ass.
“Please, don’t stop,” you manage to say and go back to biting him, very aware of the hickey you are giving him, but that doesn’t stop you because you don’t want to get caught like this.
"Can't stop." At this point you wonder how no one noticed you by now. The sound of your skin touching and your groans are not quite silent. But even if they did, you know you wouldn't stop. How could you?
"Keep rubbing, I want you to find pleasure again."
“Again?” You sound shocked because you've literally just come.
"Again." He tries to lift one of your legs a little more. "Please."
“I don’t think I can, but keep going, okay?” You already came twice in a short amount of time. How much more can you do?
"Well, I think you can." He smiles. "Gonna mark me up, baby?"
“I think I already did.” You can see your teeth marks on his neck. You are sure it will turn into purple really soon.
"I'm your property now?" The hand he has on the back of your head quickly grabs your hair and wraps it around his fist.
“Are you?” You like the sound of that and how he’s pulling your hair.
"I am." He's frantically thrusting in and out of you. "Rub faster."
“Fuck,” you mumble while rubbing yourself. You aren’t sure if it’s gonna do anything, but it feels good. “Can I keep you then? You know, kidnap you and hide you in my apartment so you don’t have to go back to the war. We can just do this every day.”
"Fuck, do it." He smiles. "I dare you."
“Should I tie you up so it looks more realistic?” And suddenly all that rubbing starts to feel different, more pleasurable.
"On your bed? Go ahead."
You laugh at how easily he’s convinced, but your laugh is interrupted by a moan.
"Gonna come for me, dolly?"
“I am not sure.” You struggle to speak. “It feels like it.”
He pulls your hair hard. "Please, please."
“You beg so beautifully, how can I say no?” It’s not like your body is saying no, either.
When you finish coming again, you watch with your eyes semi-closed as James takes himself out without dropping you even a little and comes right on your thighs and ripped stockings. You feel the warmth of his come while you both are trying to catch your breath.
"This was… wow."
“This is a hell of a first date.” You find yourself giggling. Did all that really happen? The soreness between your legs says yes.
Bucky slowly puts you down. "You think?" He snorts.
“Oh yeah, very memorable.” You notice that your stockings are completely ruined so you have no other choice but to take them off.
"Fuck, you're dripping." He doesn't look like he's sorry and he can't say he is, either. He's actually very proud.
“Yeah, I am aware.” You laugh while taking them off and using them like a washcloth to clean yourself up.
"You have no idea how lovely the sight is." He winks at you while zipping up his pants.
You bite your bottom lip while looking at him. “Likewise. You look satisfied, Sargeant. Did something happen while you were gone?” You pull your skirt down.
"I got touched by an angel."
You laugh. “So cheesy. You are lucky that you are a bookworm. A really good-looking one, who is also good at bed even though we didn’t even need one.”
"Next time. Maybe we'll break it." He sounds so confident, but not demanding at all at the same time.
“When are you going back?” You find yourself asking. If he’s promising you a second time, you are gonna take it.
"In one week."
You make a sad face without realizing then take a deep breath to help yourself focus on the positive side. “That’s a lot of sex.”
He immediately lifts your chin and presses a kiss on your forehead. "I was joking. We got two months."
“You are such a liar.” You punch him in his shoulder.
Which only makes him laugh. "You like it hard."
But your attention is on his neck, on the spot you bit so hard. The purple spot looks really old and mostly faded already.
"No comment?" He snorts. "We're gonna have a lot of fun for sure."
“I have a question.” Your eyes are still on that same spot. “Does Steve heal quickly?”
"Why? You plan on kicking his ass?"
“Just answer the question, please.”
"Yeah, he does." Bucky shrugs. "One of the perks of the serum."
“Even the small scars or purple spots?”
"Yes." Bucky doesn't even think about it. "Which is great. Why? You think your friend will want to know?"
You don’t comment about his question, instead, touch the spot you bit down so hard. “You are nearly completely healed. My mark has vanished.”
"What?" He asks, confused.
“I bit down on your neck so hard, it was dark red. Now it’s gone.”
"I don't get purple easily. Never did. I guess you have to suck a little more." He smiles leaning in to kiss you again.
“I fully bit you,” you say before he does.
"I noticed." He giggled.
Since he doesn’t take it that seriously you let it go. “Fine. I will prove it to you later.”
"Prove what?" He gives you another kiss.
“That you heal quickly.” You try to fix yourself while you kiss him back.
"Oh, I feel healed every time I look at you."
“You are so cheesy.” Yet you can’t help but laugh. “How do I look?”
"Good boy version or?" He pauses dramatically.
“Both.”
"Good boy version first: you look like an angel." He smiles cheekily.
You snort. “I’m asking if I look decent, Bucky.”
"Angel,” he repeats before dropping his hands to your ass and squeezing. "They won't know you've got fucked against the wall if that's what you're afraid of. But you look strangely content and happy."
“That’s because I had a good date.” You scrunch your nose cheekily.
"Me too. The best date ever."
“Should we try to find our best friends?”
"Oh, sure." Bucky leans in to get the teddy bear before handing it to you.
"Ready for more war stories?"
“No, I’m not.” You hug the bear. “I gotta wash this.”
Bucky snorts. "Poor bear. Got traumatized."
“Traumatized and all dirty.” You don’t notice how close you are to Bucky until you feel him next to you. “Should we keep this a secret from our friends?”
"Do you want to?"
“I meant the having sex in a dark alley part. I don’t think my friend needs to know that.” She definitely shouldn’t know all this.
"We should totally keep that part to ourselves." He smiles.
“I could say that you kissed me or something. I don’t know. Is that too forward for the first date?”
"There's no such thing. You can say I kissed you."
“I was genuinely asking.” You smile. “I normally don’t even kiss on the first date.”
Bucky giggles, his hand squeezing your hip. "I am a lucky gal." You smile back at him until you notice a familiar face.
“Oh, is that Steve?” You point to the tall blonde guy.
"Yes, that's him. But where is your friend?"
“Right in front of him. I can see her dress.” It’s sticking on the side.
"Oh, yes. Gonna drive you home after that if that's alright with you." He sounds so casual like he already did that many times, but you notice something else.
“You have a car and you didn’t think of using it until now?”
"Oh." Redness takes over his cheeks. "I got… distracted."
"You are such an idiot." You start to giggle while walking toward your friends.
"Your idiot now. You got stuck with me for at least two months." He laughs.
"Just for two months?" You test his intentions.
"I can't assume you'd want to wait for me, can I?"
"I will tell your best friend to bring you back home in one piece. He's the hero after all. That should be easy, right?"
Bucky looks at her with a soft expression before kissing her hair. "Guess you really got stuck with me."
"Oh shit, Steve saw you kissing my hair." It’s going to be hard to keep this thing between you two.
"Does it bother you?"
“No, no, no.” You quickly try to explain. “It’s just I’m worried that they might think the worst of me. I mean… questioning our closeness.”
"I dare them." She is surprised by how serious and determined he is as he speaks.
“I would kiss you right now if I could.”
"I won't stop you." He giggles like a kid.
“Our friends are,” you whisper and look at your best friend, who is coming toward you. Cassie is holding Steve’s arm proudly.
"Oh, hello," Steve says. "Where have you been?"
"Here and there." Bucky shrugs. "Did you have fun?"
"Yes!" Cass immediately giggles, joining the conversation. "He has the best, best stories. What about-" She cuts herself off when she notices your appearance. "What happened to your stockings?"
“Oh.” You blush a little, thinking about how they got ruined. “I tripped and ruined them. They looked so horrible I had to take them off completely.”
"Yes, they got really dirty," Bucky confirms with the biggest grin Steve has seen in ages.
"Oh, really?" He lifts his eyebrow. "What a shame."
“Yeah. Sergeant Barnes promised me a new pair. What a gentleman he is.”
"A gentleman indeed." Steve shakes his head, well aware of what you two have done.
You bite your lip and give Bucky a look, hoping at least Cassie has no idea. You are sure the three of you can keep a secret. For now…
You may wanna read the next part: Trust In What Tomorrow Brings
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milswrites · 1 month
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My Superhero
~ Cassian x SingleMum!Reader
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My Beautiful Girls Series Masterlist
Based on this request
Summary: Your daughter calls Cassian dad for the first time.
Warnings: Fluffy goodness.
"Evie, baby? Isn't there something you wanted to ask Cassian?"
You look to your daughter, her round cheeks burning red at your question as she moved to hide behind you. Head shaking shyly as she tugged on your dress before quietly asking, "Can't you do it mama?"
Sighing, you made to give in, unable to argue with her begging stare. Yet Cassian spoke first, moving down onto one knee before he held his arms out to the timid girl, an encouraging smile crossing his lips as he softly prompted, "Come here Eves, I would love to here what you have to say."
Evelyn's wide-eyed gaze turned from Cassian back to you, your daughter seeking input as to what she should do next. "Go on baby," you coaxed, hand coming to meet the small of her back to gently push her in the male's direction, "you've got this."
You watched on with a smile as Evelyn nervously shuffled towards Cassian, her small hands coming to to meet the male's outstretched palms before he carefully pulled her into a loving cuddle. "That's more like it," the general grinned, lightly squeezing Evelyn's shoulders in comfort before he continued to speak, "now what does my darling baby girl have to ask me?"
Cheeks dusting pink at his words, Evelyn avoided Cassian's adoring gaze as she bashfully mumbled, "Will . . . will you come with me to school?" Cassian permissed his smile to remain as he briefly glanced at you for context, hand absentmindedly rubbing circles into Evelyn's back as he patiently waited for an answer.
"For career day" you clarified, eyes bright as you watched the scene before you, "Evie has to do a talk and she wants us both there to watch." Cassian's cheery eyes turned back to Evelyn, an exaggerated gasp leaving his lips before he earnestly replied, "I would love to come and watch you talk at school Eves."
Your daughter continued to blush, a timid smile working its way onto her lips before she quietly uttered a small thank you to the male. His hazel eyes watering, Cassian moved to place a gentle kiss onto Evelyn's forehead before he countered, "Thank you, little dove."
You beamed at the pair before you, heart full of love as you watched Cassian affectionately dote on your daughter. The general's loving gaze meeting your own as he beckoned you towards him with a motion of his head. Softly nudging Evelyn closer into his arms in order to free up some space as he whispered, "Budge over Eves, we've got to make some room for mama."
"Stop fidgeting Cassie, you look amazing" you reassured, moving your comforting hands to lace with his own clammy ones as you pulled them down from the collar he was continuously straightening. "You think so?" he anxiously asked, looking down in uncertainty at the shirt he had opted to wear for the occasion, "Maybe I should have worn my tunic instead."
You chuckled warmly, pulling the male to a stop before the entrance of the school. Tenderly giving his hands a loving squeeze before you spoke, "It's a school Cassian, not a palace." The general nodded along to your words, looking down at you with appreciation as you continued to ease his worries, "Evie doesn't care what you're wearing, she just cares that you're here."
"You're right, as always" Cassian gratefully smiled, lifting a gentle hand to cup your cheek as he placed a swift kiss upon your lips before pulling away to rest his forehead against your own. Hazel eyes flooding with determination as he confidently smirked, "All right then, let's go see our girl."
"Ah you must be Evelyn's . . ." the teacher's voice trailed off as she watched Cassian walk into the room behind you, eyes blowing wide as she took in the foreboding figure of the Lord of Bloodshed, "parents?"
"Oh uh, no I'm-"
"Yes we are" you finished before Cassian could get the words out, your thumb moving to caress the back of this hand as his surprised gaze fell to your nonchalant form. A low growl of contentment rumbled in his chest at the casualness of your answer, a possessive arm coming to wrap around your waist in order to pull you closer to his side.
"Uh wow, well. . ." still flustered by the general's appearance in her classroom, the teacher struggled to get her words out, "please d-do sit down!"
Thanking the female, Cassian made to eagerly lead you towards the front of the classroom. Yet your gentle tug pulled him to a stop, a sad smile crossing your lips as you explained, "Cassie, I think your wings may be a little too big to sit at the front."
"But Evie-"
"Will still see us, even if we are a little further back" you promised, Cassian's wings hanging lowly as you pulled him to sit at the back of the room. The astonished stares of the other parents following the two of you as you passed.
Once seated, Cassian craned his neck over the crowd of waiting parents. Eyes scanning the children stood at the front of the room as he searched for the one face he so longed to see, a beaming smile gracing his lips as they finally landed on Evelyn. Hand raised as he wildly waved at the little girl who blushed at his overenthusiastic greeting.
The pair of you sat in baited anticipation as you listened to the other children speak, your hand coming to rest on Cassian's thigh in a useless attempt of trying to stop his impatient shifting as you waited for Evelyn's turn to arrive.
When the time finally came for your daughter to timidly shuffle her way onto center stage, your encouraging thumbs up were overshadowed by Cassian's excitable shout of support.
Evelyn flashed the pair of you a grateful smile before she shakily exhaled, her hands nervously locking together as her worried eyes flickered to you for assurance. Softly nodding to her in comfort you mouthed, "You can do this baby."
Evelyn's once tense shoulders relaxed at your words, the young girl inhaling deeply before she finally began to speak, "The person I love most has the bestest job in the world" Cassian nudged as your shoulder as he sent you a cheery wink, brows wiggling comically as he reacted to Evelyn's mention of you.
Yet his smile didn't last for long, grin dropping at the next words your daughter spoke, "He is a superhero! He's big and strong and . . . and he always makes sure to keep our High Lord and High Lady safe."
A shaky gasp fell from Cassian's lips at the realization that Evelyn wasn't talking about you. His trembling hand darting to grasp onto yours for support as Evelyn continued to speak about him. Your little girl looking straight at the teary-eyed Illyrian as she did so, "But even though he gets very busy saving the world, my favourite thing is how he always makes time to play with me when he comes home, even when he is very tired.”
A soft sob broke from Cassian's mouth at her words, the male sniffling as he made no attempt to hide the downpour of emotion that had washed over him. His watery eyes shining with love as they never strayed from Evelyn for even a moment.
"He fights all the monsters under my bed and in my wardrobe and he always makes sure to kiss all of my boo boo's. But most i- imporan- importantly he always shows me and my mummy how much he loves us. So even though he is the bestest superhero in the world, I love it even more when he is just my dad."
When she finished, Cassian was too stunned to react. The sound of his cries being drowned out by that of the other parent's applause. With all the speeches now finished, Evelyn eagerly ran over to greet the two of you, only for her smile to drop upon seeing Cassian in tears.
“What’s wrong baby?” You asked in concern, a comforting hand coming to rest on her shoulder, “It’s alright, you did so well Eves.”
Yet Evelyn wasn’t looking at you, her disappointed eyes stayed locked on Cassian.
"You . . . you didn't like it?" Evelyn asked weakly, silver tears beginning to line her eyes at the sight of the weeping Illyrian.
"Like it?" Cassian answered, moving to sweep Evelyn into his arms, "No baby girl, I loved it." The general proceeded to cry further as Evelyn stretched out her little hands to wipe away his falling tears, her face considerably more cheerful now she knew she hadn't upset the male.
"Mummy helped me write it . . . I just wanted everybody in school to know that my daddy is a superhero!"
Cassian's shoulders shook as he cried, his hand moving to pull Evelyn's head to his chest as he embraced the smiling girl. Lips pressing against her head in a gentle kiss as he replied, "Being a superhero is fun, little dove. But being your daddy is my favourite job."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Notes: Feel free to send me any more scenarios you’d like to see!! This family makes me feral and I will write for them forever.
Taglist:
@brekkershadowsinger @sarawritestories
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Cordell: I lost Cassie.
James: How did you LOSE Cassie?!
Cordell: To be fair, she's very small.
Cassie, from afar: FUCK YOU!
Cordell: There she is.
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chipistrate · 10 months
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Welcome to the Grand Opening of Freddy Fazbears Balloon Circus!
After an array of previous undisclosed incidents at the Mega Pizzaplex, ending with the sudden collapsing of the building due to an unexpected earthquake, Fazbear Enterprise has demolished the old mall and rebuilt a new and improved carnival on the property! But just because the attractions above ground have been overhauled, doesn't mean the secrets beneath the surface have magically disappeared.
Reblogs appreciated!
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MANY more rambles about this AU under the cut: would much appreciate if you read them, but there's no obligations!
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EVERYTHING HERE IS SUBJECT TO CHANGE!! This AU has just been pieced together by my insane ramblings to my friend over the past few days, so everything in it's early stages of development, and this post is being written VERY late while I'm very sleep deprived and just trying to finish it in time to schedule it! If some things are a bit weird or inconsistent then please keep that in mind! Thank you! :D
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Gregory, Vanessa, and Freddy all return to the now renovated lot where the Pizzaplex once stood, having been called back two years after their last failed visit too save a long lost friend, too repair their old creation known at the M.X.E.S after it was suddenly and unexplainably shut down again. Upon entering the new-ish carnival, they'll quickly find it hard to safely look for the entrance to the layers below as the friendly mascot suits above chase after them for being unwanted guests.
Above ground, they're hunted by the mascots- new suits built for both performers and endoskeletons to be able to wear. This night, controlled by corrupted endoskeletons, they've been ordered to chase after the intruders by someone lurking below the carnivals ground. As well as finding the littler animatronics, known as Balloon Babies, to be quite the inconvenience.
Below ground, they're hunted by the old Glamrocks, still functional after all this time, and now under a new threats command that's also trying to keep the 3 star family from reaching M.X.E.S; Vannie. Aka, Cassie. Still here in the ruins of it all, waiting for the her perfect moment to lure the family back in and get her revenge for what they did to her all those years ago.
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The mascots are the new faces of the Freddy Fazbears Balloon Circus, their costumes built to be worn by both endoskeletons and actors- but in a safer way than the springlock suits. The actors are used during the day for greeting and interacting with guests, putting on performances, etc etc. While the endoskeletons are used at night as a replacement for security guards and STAFF bots, kindly, but forcefully, escorting any intruders off the premises. Under Vannie's control they, of course, are much less kind and gentle with how they "escort" the 3 star fam out of the carnival.
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Balloon Babies are smaller, almost Helpy-like animatronics in appearance, built to keep lost and lonely children happy and entertained while waiting for their guardian to arrive. They can't speak, but they can play song, games, sound effects, blow up balloons with their fingertips, etc etc. They found Gregory after he had been forcefully split up from Vanessa and Freddy by the mascots, and upon the family reuniting, the Balloon Babies more annoying feature kicked in: The Emergency Alert System. Whenever a child they are playing with is approached by an odd looking adult or other figure that seems like they could be a potential threat to the child's safety, whether that be a kidnapper, unfit guardian, bully, etc. the Balloon Babies will use their emergency alert system to call one of the mascots over and deal with the threat, kindly guiding the threat away and bringing the kid to a safer area away from potential danger where they can stay with staff until a proper guardian arrives. The Balloon Babies had decided in their time with Gregory that Vanessa and Freddy were unfit guardians for leaving Gregory scared and alone this late at night, and any time Vanessa and/or Freddy is nearby, their alert system will sound off and call a mascot to their location. The problem, other than the obvious, is that the Balloon Babies are fixated on Gregory. They will always be attracted to him and find their way back to him no matter what, with the only exception being when he's under ground. Which means that, until they can find a way to deactivate or otherwise get rid of these guys, Gregory is forced to be split up from Vanessa and Freddy above ground, and regroup underground.
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The only exception is Goldie, a soft yellow version of the Freddy Balloon Baby that doesn't follow the others. Goldie is the only one of the Balloon Babies that can go underground, Vannie specifically programming him to be able to do so. He follows Vannie around and provides her with much needed company, being her only real friend down here besides Roxy. Later on, Gregory will find Goldie, but instead of calling for the mascots whenever Vanessa is near, he'll send out a signal to distract the other Balloon Babies away from Gregory so they won't call for the mascots or overwhelm him. Goldie can tell that Vanessa and Freddy are fit guardians that love Gregory very much, and can also tell that they're afraid of the mascots, though he can't compute why- it's his job to make sure that kids and their families are safe, so he's doing his best to ensure their safety however he can. Later on, Vannie will come looking for her friend after a long period of time of him being away and find him with the 3 star family, causing more conflict between the two parties that Goldie can't understand- Cassie and Gregory are supposed to be friends, aren't they? That's what Cassie said. Friends aren't supposed to fight each other, they're supposed to protect each other. That's what Goldie believes, at least.
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Random trivia;
-Gregory, Freddy, and Vanessa have been living together for about 3 years now. 1 year by the time of Ruin, and 2 years after the fact leading up to Balloon Circus.
-Cassie has been gaslit into thinking that all the stuff Dr. Rabbit did was actually Gregory himself with no outside influence, only fueling her want for revenge, not only for the elevator incident, but everyone he hurt. This will affect Gregory greatly(he has not 100% recovered and this Does Not Help).
-Cassie still doesn't fully trust the Mimic, despite being under its influence. She let the M.X.E.S stay up after the 3 star family put it back up after Ruin despite Mimic's demands for her to shut it down again, assuring him it was "part of her plan". She wasn't entirely lying, shutting down the M.X.E.S was how she wanted to lure the family back, but she'd be lying if she said it wasn't also partially because she wanted to keep "that old endo" sealed away. He's not completely free from fault either.
-Gregory and Vanessa both have chips implanted in their heads, it's how Dr. Rabbit and Vanny took over way back when. Those same chips gave them VR vision, but the chips have since been "domesticated" and can't go full VR mode anymore. Despite this fact, they do still have a few side effects of the VR vision, such as some walls and objects simply not existing, despite them looking perfectly normal and real. They can phase through them without trouble, and this helps them navigate the Balloon Circus, becauseeeeeee;
-Cassie was there during the construction of the circus and set up VR walls in certain spaces to help her hide out and travel around undetected, even during the day. The 3 star family can also use these now as an easier way of navigating through the circus, but also as a way to hide from the mascots and even sometimes the Balloon Babies.
-The entrance to the underground levels is behind a VR wall, but it's one set up by the construction workers so the patrons wouldn't notice it. The reason an intentional opening is there is because the new entrance is now used as a dumping ground for stuff from random items from the ruins of the Pizzaplex to unused stuff from the circus to anything the employees with access to the area want to throw in there. It's how the ruined Glamrocks ended up there.
-The Glamrocks were being slowly reintroduced to the public, the biggest attraction so far being 'Chica of the Sea', a tent for the underwater hologram show of a prerendered mermaid Glamrock Chica that would swim around, wave at guests, and do a few preset moves that employees could turn on whenever. There's hints of them wanting to reintroduce the others as well that haven't been shown off to the public yet, with the new roles being; Glam Freddy and Bonnie are the co-ringmasters of the main tent where the mascots performances are held, making sure everything runs smoothly. Roxanne is the mascots and glamrocks make up artist, as well as offering to do make up/face paint for any patrons that came by her tent (for a price, of course). And Monty would roam around the circus grounds as a strongman showing off his incredible strength. He also has a tent for this, but he was mostly supposed to roam around and sometimes try and make people swing by his tent, mostly so they would buy his merch.
-Chica being the first to be reintroduced has an effect on her character below ground, with her hearing the news and trying her best to dress herself up in whatever scraps she could find to look like her mermaid counterpart, practicing her singing and dancing despite her condition so she could prove that she could be just as good as the hologram if she just got a few repairs.
-Roxanne is headless, having lost her head in her tussle with the Mimic. But she still has control of both her body and head, carrying around her decapitated head in her arms.
-Vannie/Cassie cares about Goldie soso much that's her new bestie<33 Friendship ended with Gregory, Goldie is new best friend<3 (I'm so sorry Gregory)
-Vannie is also known as Vengeful Vannie, but usually shortened to just 'Vannie'. A callback to the "Vengeful Spirit" aka Cassidy, because I think the parallels between the two are neat<3 (THIS MEANS NOTHING LORE WISE IT'S JUST A NAMING THING.)
-Some of the stuff at Balloon Circus was bought from the carnival mentioned to be across the street from the Pizzaplex in the TFTPP epilogues, and rebranded to fit with the new Fazbear theming
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I wanna talk more about these guys later- not sure what else exactly to do with them, but if anybody has any questions then feel free to send 'em to my inbox! I'll be more than happy to reply to the best of my abilities<3
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riddlesb1tch · 25 days
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Scarred Stars
Cassian x reader
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summary: reader asks Cassian about how he got the scar on his brow.
warnings: mentions of war and fighting.
a/n: creds to @throneofsmut for the title!!!!!
~●○°●○°●○~
You sat on Cassian’s lap, doing the nighttime skincare routine you had forced on him. You shuddered thinking about how he lived before he'd met you. This male did not know the difference between hand wash and face wash and would use literally whatever to wash his face. 
“As long as it's soap, it’s fine,” he’d say. 
One day you asked him, “Cassie you know laundry detergent is soap, right? Would you use that?” 
Thank the mother he shook his head because you had fully expected him to say it got the job done. Weirdly enough, even after washing his face with hand soap for the longest time, his skin remained a beautiful bronze with barely any blemishes. However, you knew he would not appreciate it if he ever did break out. 
When he got a pimple once, he refused to show you his face properly, saying he didn’t want you to see him like that. After that incident, you’d devised a skincare routine for Cassian that took care of his skin enough to prevent breakouts but wasn’t so long that he would be too tired or lazy to do it. One time, however, he was simply exhausted after a long day and was ready to go to bed without even washing his face. So you had offered to do his skincare for him. It was one of the most domestic and intimate moments of your relationship and since then, it has become both of your favourite part of your nighttime routine. 
Currently, you were sitting on Cassian’s lap having just done his skincare when you’d asked if you could pluck his eyebrows a little because a couple of stray hairs were bothering you. He’d said no initially but as soon as you settled comfortably on his lap with the tweezers, he seemed on board immediately. 
“Stop moving, Cassie,” you mumbled, resting one hand on his cheek while tweezing out stray brow hairs with the other. 
“Sorry,” he mumbled back. You could feel his gaze on your face and your cheeks heated up. 
“Why are you looking at me like that?” you asked, making eye contact with the most adoring look you’d ever seen on his face. 
His hands moved up and down your sides as he said, “I love you.” 
“I love you more,” you replied, gently holding his face between your hands and kissing his lips softly. You smiled and rested your forehead on his after pulling away and Cassian breathed deeply, holding you even closer. After a few seconds of silence, you placed a lingering kiss on his forehead before resuming plucking his brows. 
When you got to the left eyebrow, you delicately stroked the scar running down from his eyebrow to his cheekbone. Cassian closed his eyes in the comfort of having you touch him. 
“You’ve never told me how you got this,” you mumbled.  
He opened his eyes, looking up at you with saddened eyes. 
“It's not really a happy story,” he replied. 
Your brows furrowed in curiosity. “What happened?” you asked, arms looping around his neck. 
“Well, you know about the conflict that happened between Rhysand’s and Tamlin’s families, right?” he said. You nodded. “It happened when Rhysand and his father snuck into Spring so they could have an advantage. Obviously, I accompanied them.” 
You nodded along to his story. 
“The fight was…ugly, to say the least,” he looked away as if the memories still haunted him. 
You lovingly stroked his hair in empathy, letting him know you were there and he didn’t need to talk about it if he didn’t want to. 
“But basically when we were fighting, Tamlin tried to kill me,” he said. Immediately your body stiffened and rage filled your bones. 
Cassian held you just a bit tighter, rubbing soothing circles into your waist to calm you down. He understood the protective instincts the mating bond entailed and reassured you that it was all in the past now. 
“He was in his beast form so his claws were out. He was clawing at my face but I ducked away. The claws did scrape my face pretty good, though, and so I was left with this scar,” he gestured to it. 
You hummed in acknowledgement, taking in his expression. 
“I’ve tried to get rid of it,” he shrugged. Your brows furrowed in confusion. “But even Madja said there’s nothing that can be done. The marks came from a powerful and magical creature, so they’re gonna stay there forever,” he sighed. 
“But why try to get rid of it?” you asked. 
“Because I hate it,” he stated. “It's a constant reminder of the loss this court endured that day, of the loss my brother endured that day,” he shook his head sadly, dismissing it. “Whatever, it doesn’t matter now.” 
You shook your head adamantly. “Cassie,” you said gently and he turned his face back to you. “It's a reminder of how you stood up for your family,” you said with a small smile. “Of the day you went into another court to avenge those you loved. That is something to be proud of, my love.” 
Cassian looked at you with the same adoration again, this time with a small smile. “You think so?” 
You nodded. 
“It's just a bonus that the scar makes you look crazy hot,” you said to lighten the mood. 
Cassian laughed. “Yeah?” 
“I love that scar so much. Even more so now that I know how you got it.” You leaned in and kissed the scar running down his face, starting at his forehead, going down to his brow, to his eyelid, and lastly, his cheekbone. 
“I love you so much,” he said when you pulled away. 
“I love you more,” you replied. 
a/n: I'm not anti tam tam but I just thought of this story and needed to write it.
tags: @milswrites @sarawritestories @berryzxx @thelov3lybookworm
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zepskies · 3 months
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Take Me Home - Part 3
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Pairing: Beau Arlen x F. Reader 
Summary: You are another lost soul at Sunny Day Excursions. You’re aiming to settle in Helena, Montana, where Beau Arlen is the new sheriff in town. But you’ve both got a past you’re running from. 
AN: I’m being continuously blown away by your lovely responses on this story. Thank you so much! I truly appreciate all the love for our cowboy sheriff and where TMH is going.
Word Count: 6.6K
Tags/Warnings: Angst, hurt/comfort, a heart-to-heart, flirtations, and invitations taken…
❤️ Series Masterlist
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Part 3: Welcome Home
In the next twenty-four hours after Mary was found, the police’s investigation led them to a man named Walter. He’d been living in the woods, and was suspected of stalking the camp for days. 
He was arrested as a prime suspect in Mary’s murder at Sunny Day Excursions, along with Paige’s; even though they’d yet to find her body, the police did confirm that she'd never made it home to New York.
They also found Luke later that night. His body was pierced to a tree by an archer’s arrow. 
The campers were sent home shortly after Walter was arrested. 
And three days later, your aunt Denise gingerly took a seat on the edge of the couch you’d been lying in all day (and all week so far). She swept her fingers over your greasy hair in both comfort and affection. 
Denise Brisbane was your mom’s sister. She was a private investigator here in Helena. And as you found out, she actually worked with Cassie Dewell, the woman you’d met at the camp, who was still in search of a missing backpacker.
“You’ve barely moved in days, honey,” Denise said.
Her face was sympathetic and sad, watching you. Though you felt the sting of guilt, feeling like a burden that had just been unloaded on your aunt, you didn’t want to leave your warm blankets. Your body felt heavy and useless.
“Good news though. The rest of your stuff ships in tomorrow,” she said, continuing to pet your hair. “I’ll help you move into your new apartment. How does that sound?”
You gave a weak nod. “Thanks.”
She sighed. “I’m not trying to kick you out, hun. I just think it’ll be good for you to start getting on your feet.”
You agreed, wordlessly. In your head, you knew she was right. You couldn’t sleep on her couch forever, and perhaps more importantly, you couldn’t let this beat you down forever.
“You sure you don’t want to talk about it?” Denise asked, squeezing your shoulder. “Your mom wanted to get the first flight out here, but I told her I’d take care of you until you go home for the funeral.”
You were grateful for that. As much as you loved your mother, you didn’t want to be smothered right now. Your mom’s version of comfort could only include a heavy dose of smothering. The one thing you had been able to do was call Mary’s parents.
That had been a long and painful conversation. After which, you slept like the dead for two days straight.
Denise broke you out of your wandering thoughts when she handed you a business card. It had a banyan tree emblazoned on it, along with the name of a grief counseling center.
“Cassie’s actually been going here, and she’s liked it so far,” she said.
At your furrowed look of confusion, she added, “Look, it’s okay if you don’t want to talk to me, but I think it would be good for you to talk to someone. Maybe someone who understands what you’re going through.”
You sighed and flipped the card through your fingers. You really, really didn’t want to go. You could already what your father would say if he knew you went to a grief counselor. His form of “therapy” was the growing collection of bourbon behind his desk.   
But if it meant you’d stop being a lump in your aunt’s living room, then maybe you could give it a shot.
“Okay,” you nodded. Your voice was a bit coarse with disuse. Denise gave you a smile, and a warm hug that felt like home. She even offered to make your appointment for you.
You were a little annoyed though. Now you’d have to actually get up and put on a bra.
“Maybe shower first, huh?” she advised, while she helped you get up.
“Yeah, yeah,” you replied.
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A hot shower, washing and styling your hair, putting real clothes on, and overall making yourself presentable actually made you feel human again. You even surprised yourself by putting on a bit of makeup.
Once you made it to the grief counseling center in your car, however, you sat in the parking lot for a minute. You had to take a moment to breathe. Because you knew you were going to be asked what happened. You were going to have to get into it all over again.
Even after you were able to leave your car and brave through the carpeted halls of the building, your hands were shaking. At the reception desk, an older woman directed you down another long hallway to the group session. It was the only one available on short notice, but she promised that if you found the session helpful, she could help you book another group session, or even a solo session.
You weren’t sure if you were ready for “solo,” but a group appealed to you. Maybe you could just sit in the back and let the others talk.
The counselor, Tom, greeted you when you walked into the right room. It was a small room with a bunch of chairs formed in a circle at the center. No room to hide, you thought with growing unease. You glanced over and saw that there were a few people already milling about, making small talk in a cluster near the circle.
“We’re gonna start here in a few minutes, but until then, you can take a seat,” said Tom. “There’s also coffee and cookies over there, if you like.”
Coffee. Coffee was warm, and it might settle your nerves and help you perk up a bit. You thanked him and went for the carafes on a small table in the back. You poured some coffee into a Styrofoam cup and poured a little sugar and creamer into it, but after you took an experimental sip, you immediately regretted it.
Tastes like damn soil water! You made a grossed out sound and spat it back into your cup.
“Yeah, wouldn’t recommend the joe,” drawled a familiar voice. 
You turned sharply to find Sheriff Beau Arlen. He gave you a sympathetic look as he reached for a cup of water. Seeing him took you by such surprise, you gasped with a slight flinch, accidentally spilling some scalding coffee on yourself in the process. 
You held the cup away from you fast, but a few drops still flecked on your jeans, and even his boots. 
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” you gasped again. Beau just smiled good-naturedly and grabbed a few napkins off the table.
“It’s all right,” he said. “I’m the one who snuck up on you. Accidentally, I might add.”
He handed you the napkins so you could soak up the coffee from your hand and arm. Meanwhile, he took your half-empty coffee cup and tossed it in the garbage. Your damp wad of napkins joined the cup.
And when you finally looked up at him again, you both found yourselves smiling, despite where you were. It was the first time you’d been able to smile in days.
“Sheriff Arlen,” you greeted. “I did not expect to see you here…”
His smile faltered at that, but his hand reached back to sort through his short hair at the back of his head. 
“Ah, call me Beau,” he said. “I have a feeling we’re about to get to know each other better.”
You agreed to that, just as you agreed to join him for a seat within the circle of chairs. He leaned back in his chair and swept a hand through his hair again, perhaps in a nervous gesture. You glanced over at him, saw the way he smoothed a hand down his jeans when his knee started bouncing…
Could he be as anxious as you? You had to wonder why he was here, for grief counseling of all things. The thought sobered you as more people filtered in and took their seats. Tom eventually got things started from his spot across from you in the circle.
“Okay, we’ve got a couple of first timers to this group session, so tell you what,” he said. “Let’s go around, introduce ourselves, and share something interesting. Whether it’s what you do for a living, a new hobby you picked up, or keeping it even more simple, something fun you did this week.”
You looked down at the folded hands in your lap. If binge watching entire seasons of Succession and sleeping until noon every day counted as something fun, then you were all set.
The introductions started to his left, so it took a while before it got around to you. There was that little flutter of nerves in your stomach, like you were a kid again, and it was the first day of school (but worse).
Luckily, Beau was before you. You were curious about what he would share as he let out a subtle clearing of his throat.
“Hi there, I’m Beau Arlen. Some of you know me as the new sheriff over at Helena PD.” He greeted everyone with a short wave, though he tossed you a smiling glance. “You might also be able to tell that I’m from Texas. Born and bred in Houston. I moved up here to stay close to my daughter, who’s living here with her mother…my ex-wife.”
He tacked on that last bit after a slight pause. But he recovered quicker than you could process and gestured to you next. You forced yourself to perk up, putting your “teacher’s hat” on as you tried to meet everyone’s eyes. First, you gave them your name.
“I’m also from out of town, from Chicago,” you said, glancing at Beau. His expression was encouraging. It gave you the small boost you didn’t know you needed. “I’m a college professor, formerly of the University of Chicago…but I start at Caroll College in the fall.”
Beau’s brows rose as his lips twitched upwards. You tried not to blush as you passed on the introductions to the next person.
The session itself was light overall. Tom talked about the stress that often came with the unknown—with moving past a challenging time, or tackling a new project, or even moving to a new and unfamiliar city. He didn’t force everyone to chime in about themselves, but the ones who were ready to share took the floor one by one. And by the end, you thought that you’d gleaned some useful tidbits just by listening.
Hell, maybe you’d even come back here.
When the session was over though, you were kind of relieved. You grabbed your purse and got up to leave.
“Well, that was relatively painless,” Beau said, also getting up from his seat.
“Yeah, wasn’t so bad,” you replied. Your name fell from his lips in the form of a question, earning your expectant gaze.
“Listen, uh, can I buy you a real cup of coffee?” he offered. “We might not have met under the best of circumstances, but I just heard recently that you’re Denise’s niece. Well, I’m friends with the gals over at Dewell & Hoyt, your aunt included, so I just thought it’d be good to get to know each other, being that we’re both kinda new in town, and—”
You set a light hand on his arm. That one touch was able to stop his rambling, along with the sight of your amused smile up at him.
“Coffee sounds great,” you said.
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You decided there was no real harm in meeting him at the nearest coffee shop, just a few minutes away.
It was hard not to associate the sheriff with that terrible night at the camp, but you knew that wasn’t fair to him. He seemed like a nice guy, and by the way he talked about his daughter, maybe even a good man.
In your experience, a good man was hard to find.
“So, what do you teach exactly?” Beau asked. He’d just finished telling you about Emily starting a summer internship with Cassie and Denise at the private investigation agency. Like father like daughter, you’d remarked. Beau’s soft, but proud smile had been telling.
“English literature,” you replied to his question, sipping at your cappuccino. He was drinking a hot French vanilla latte, which kind of amused you. You had expected him to order an Americano or something.   
“Oh, yeah? What sort of classes?” he said.  
“The greatest hits, basically,” you explained. “Composition, English grammar, Shakespeare…Twentieth Century British Literature.”
“Oh, is that all?” he chuckled. It charmed a smile out of you. 
“I don’t know why I asked. I didn’t even go to college,” Beau said. It finally succeeded in making you laugh.
“Straight to the police academy, then?” you asked.
“Like a cannonball, heels a blazin’,” he said, miming a gunshot with his hand. 
“Like a rhinestone cowboy,” you teased. And you felt brave enough to hum the riff of the Glen Campbell song. 
Beau shook his head with a grin. He’d seen you, all tightened up and anxious throughout the group session, even though it had been pretty lightweight. He could relate to your discomfort. He’d made a conscious effort to talk very little about himself and gave the others the room to tell their stories.
Beau liked seeing you more relaxed though. He liked your smile, the glimpses of your sense of humor shining through. He liked that he was somehow able to bring that out of you for a while. 
“I still can’t believe you're Denise’s niece,” he said, once again shaking his head. “What a small world.”
“Yeah. I’ve been crashing on her couch for the past week,” you admitted. “But I have the rest of summer to settle into my new apartment, starting tomorrow. I’ve got my whole life shipping in on a truck.”
Beau nodded at that. He contemplated whether it’d be appropriate for him to offer you some help with that. The question was on the tip of his tongue, until he saw the way your mood saddened. You sat contemplating your coffee mug.
“I asked her to come,” you confessed. When your eyes met his, they shone with the beginning of unshed tears. “The camping trip was Mary’s idea, but I asked her to come with me to Helena for the week. She wouldn’t have been there if it wasn’t for me.”
Beau let out a deep breath and met you with a more somber, understanding gaze. 
“It wasn’t your fault,” he said. He was reminded that they had Walter in custody. He wasn’t yet willing to break and confess to the murders at Sunny Day Excursions, but they had him.
“I promise, we’ll get justice for Mary,” Beau added. You sighed and wiped a tear from your cheek.
“Do you think you have the right man?” you asked, speaking of Walter.
“I do,” Beau replied. “He’s being stubborn, but all the evidence points to him.”
You nodded gratefully, but you had to try and breathe through your tumultuous emotions, the way your heart was cracking with pain. You didn’t want to break down in the middle of a damn coffee shop.
Again, Beau wrestled with the inclination to cover his hand over yours. He felt like he was toeing the line between his professional capacity as a sheriff, and the fact that you were his friend’s niece. He wanted to comfort you the best he could. But sometimes, words just weren’t enough.
You took a half-hearted sip of your coffee. By now, it was lukewarm, if still tasty and sweet. It was healthier than whiskey, you supposed.
“She was like…like my sister, you know?” you said. “I feel like I failed her.”
Beau shook his head, his dark brows furrowing. He didn’t know how many times he could say it wasn’t your fault, knowing you probably wouldn’t ever believe it.
That struck a familiar bell.
“Look, I uh…I understand what you’re going through,” he admitted. Your watery gaze found his again. Your head tilted in interest.
He sighed before answering your unspoken question. “I lost my partner on the job, now a couple years back.”
“I’m sorry,” you replied, and your sympathy was as genuine as his had been for you. “I’m guessing you two were close.”
Beau’s lips quirked at one corner. “He was like my brother. Matter of fact, I think it used to make my own brother jealous.”
You processed that with a sad frown, though your brows soon rose in curiosity.
“You have a brother?”
“Yep,” Beau nodded. The brief shadows in his eyes lifted at the merciful change of topic. “Good ole’ David. I still call him Davey, even though he hates it.”
A smile played on your lips. “Older or younger?”
“Younger, by a few years,” he replied. There was a more natural gleam to his smile then. “He’s a hotshot doctor back in Houston.”
He teased, but you could see there was pride behind his eyes. It reminded you of the way he got whenever he talked about Emily.
“So you know my story. What brought you to Montana?” he asked. He wanted to see if he could help you get your mind off Mary. He didn’t know that he’d just pulled the pin on a whole other grenade. 
You let out a wry chuckle. 
“Uh, oh,” Beau said warily. 
You nodded. He did tell you his story—ex-wife with a new husband, daughter, a new job in Montana—though you still didn’t know why he was going to grief counseling. If it was because of his partner, you could understand that…but you also didn’t want to pry.
You also knew it was only fair to answer his question.
“It’s not exactly like your situation but…I was engaged,” you said at last. 
Past tense, he noted. 
“Good guy?” he asked. 
“A firefighter,” you replied. Though you knew well the rivalry that sometimes existed between cops and firefighters. Beau’s growing bemusement told you he was thinking along the same lines. 
“Ah, a smoke eater, huh?” But his smile faded. “Did something happen to him on the job?”
“No,” you said, again with that weary chuckle. It was hard for you to get this out, but you’d been wrestling with it for over six months, damn near a year. It was enough. 
“Just a couple months before the wedding, I found out he’d been cheating on me with his college girlfriend…pretty much throughout our whole relationship,” you said. 
Though you promised yourself that you’d never cry over this again, today had already been incredibly difficult. The tears came, and you couldn’t stop them. 
Beau's brows had risen high in surprise. Then, a deeper sympathy settled in his eyes.
“Jesus. How long?” he asked.
“We were together three years, engaged for about another one,” you said. “Almost four years of my life, just…”
You mimed a puff of smoke blowing out of your hand. 
“Yeah. I know the feeling,” Beau said. His tone was wry as he dragged a hand over his beard. You gave him an apologetic look.
“I’m sorry. I know my story doesn’t compare with a marriage,” you said.
“That’s not what I was gettin’ at,” he replied. “But I get it. You start to think, what the hell was it all for? …Except for my daughter.”
“Yeah. Unfortunately, I don’t have an Emily,” you said. At the same time though, you were very glad you never had kids with that man.
Beau frowned when he saw the way your face fell further, becoming distant, and lost in old memories. 
“Afterwards, I…I checked out, you know? I could barely focus on my students, my family, my friends.” Your nails drummed on the countertop. You shook your head as it all filtered through your mind again. “But the last straw was that my dad tried to get me to work things out with him, and I just…I lost it. Beau, I absolutely lost my shit.”
Beau grimaced. “What made your dad think that would work?”
“He’s a retired firehouse chief,” you said, with a purse of your lips. “He’s always had a soft spot for Michael.”
“Michael, huh?” Beau quirked a brow. “That come with a last name?”
You shot him a look of amusement. 
“What, are you going to run his LUDS?” you joked, but you couldn’t prevent a sniffle as a new wave of emotion threatened an upswell.
You felt pathetic. This man was the whole-ass sheriff of this town. He probably had more important things to do than listen to you complain about your imploded relationship. But you were also Denise’s niece. Maybe he just felt sorry for you.
He offered you a napkin. “Sorry it’s not a tissue.”
In his eyes though, you didn’t see pity. Just kindness.
“It’s okay. I can brave a scratchy napkin,” you said, laughing a little. “But after that, I knew one of two things was going to happen. Either I was going to break open my dad’s gun safe and shoot the bastard in the ass, or I had to get the hell out of Chicago. My mom and Aunt Denise suggested I come here for a visit, just to clear my head. That turned into scoping out jobs, and then apartments… Now I’m here.”
That fell between you for a moment as your companion processed it all. In hindsight, you probably shouldn’t have mentioned that whole bit about possibly shooting your ex, but he took it in stride. 
“Well, for what it’s worth, I’m glad you are,” Beau said. “Here, that is.”
You couldn’t help but blush; at his words, the deep green of his eyes, and the sincerity of his smile.
“Likewise, Sheriff,” you said.
He smirked. “Also glad you didn’t go shootin’ people in the ass.” 
You covered your face and laughed. 
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Beau walked you to your car like the gentleman he was, even though it was only late afternoon. You opened the driver’s side door, but you lingered there. You turned back to him, curling a strand of hair behind your ear.
“Thanks for the coffee, and for letting me ramble, and vent, and soak up a few dozen napkins,” you said. You laughed a little in embarrassment, but he waved it off.
“It wasn’t as bad as all that, but good luck movin’ into your apartment tomorrow,” he said. Then it was his turn to hesitate. “If you need some help with that, just let me know.”
You blinked, mouth parting in soft surprise.
“Oh, thank you but…I don’t want to trouble you,” you said.
“You wouldn’t be. That’s why I offered,” he replied, smiling down at you in a way that had you melting a little bit more. “I’ve got an early shift tomorrow, but after, I could probably pull in Cassie. Maybe even Jenny, if she’s up for it. She’s one of our deputies at the PD.”
Beau recognized your hesitance.
“It wouldn’t be any trouble, I promise,” he said, holding a hand over his heart. “We’ve gotta welcome you to the neighborhood, don’t we?”
You were still a little unsure, but you agreed to it with a thank you, along with a more shy, sweet smile.
Beau liked that smile too.
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Later that day, Beau remembered it was his turn to host the ritual movie night Friday with Cassie and Jenny. His trailer was too small to have it inside, so they set up Cassie’s projector out in front, by the fire. According to his friends, he was going about the night with too much cheer.
“You’re entirely too smiley to have just come from an afternoon of therapy,” Jenny pointed out. She uncapped her second beer, then passed him the bucket. He waved her off; he was still nursing his first beer of the night. If he stuck to his plan, then it’d be his only beer of the night.
“Aw, it wasn’t so bad, actually,” he said. He explained that you had been there at the group session. The moment your name was mentioned, Cassie and Jenny both raised their brows.
“Really?” Cassie remarked.
“Yeah. Losing her friend really shook her up. Understandably,” Beau said. His gaze lowered when he played through his afternoon with you in his mind. Though your situations were different, both in your lost friends and lost relationships, he realized just how much he’d understood and connected with a near stranger.
That kind of thing didn’t happen to him often, if ever before.
“But, she’s actually moving into her new place tomorrow,” he added, breaking himself out of his own head. “Speakin’ of, would you two have the time to help her and Denise out? I already said I would come by after shift tomorrow.”
Cassie and Jenny shared a certain look—the kind these women donned when they were having a private conversation with just their eyes. This time, it seemed to be about him.
“What?” he asked, his hands spreading wide.
“Nothing,” Cassie said, smiling. “Sure, I can come.”
“Yeah,” Jenny agreed, “barring nothing too crazy happens on shift.”
Beau inclined his head. “Knock on wood there. Anyway, what’re we watching?”
“Crazy, Stupid Love,” Jenny grinned, holding up the DVD cover. “For Ryan Gosling, of course.”
Beau rolled his eyes.
A few months ago, he wouldn’t have expected that he’d make friends with exclusively women in this town, but he only complained about it in times like these.
Though as it turned out, he enjoyed the movie. There were as many hilarious scenes as there were poignant ones. By the end of the night though, he was beat.
Jenny helped with the cleanup, but she ended up taking off first. It left Beau to put away the fold-up chairs with Cassie.
“So, tell me,” she said, in a leading tone and with a teasing smile. “You crushing on Glamper Girl for real now?”
Beau shot her a wry look.
“She’s not a glamper anymore,” he pointed out. “And I’m not crushing like some teenager. I just want to help her out. She’s been through a lot…and she’s Denise’s family. It’s just the right thing to do.”
Cassie laughed. “That’s a lot of over-explaining you’re doing right there, but okay, Beau.” 
He rolled his eyes, but he had to smile. “Okay, that’s it. I’m gonna have to insist you get off my property.”
“Off what, your tin can?” she retorted.
“Hey! She can hear you.”
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Beau wiped the sweat from his brow strategically while he carried his end (the heavier end, he might add) of your couch. He and Jenny were trying to get it up the stairwell to your apartment on the second floor.
“Okay now, just pivot on this corner,” he instructed. “Pivot!”
 Jenny nearly dropped her end out of sheer aggravation. Her blue eyes cut down to his.
“If you say pivot one more time, I’m gonna shoot you,” she snapped.
Beau whistled in amusement. “Threatening to shoot the sheriff. Now that’s at least a misdemeanor.”
Right as he could almost see the fumes coming out of his deputy’s ears, you hustled up the stairs to help them. You picked up the middle to make it easier.
“Okay, we can do this! I think we can just tip it on its side to get it around the corner,” you said.
To everyone’s relief, your suggestion worked. Denise held the door open while the three of you got the couch up to the second floor, then into your apartment. Once the couch was successfully in the living room, you went to the kitchen and grabbed a few bottles of water out of the fridge. You handed one each to Beau and Jenny.
“Thank you guys again so much for doing this,” you said, still catching your breath. You surveyed all the boxes and furniture you all had brought in, and you realized you were crazy to think you and Denise could’ve done all of this by yourselves.
“It’s our pleasure,” Beau nodded. He gestured to his sweating face and neck. “But do you have a towel or a rag or something? You’re about to be mopping me off the floor in a minute.”
“Yeah, of course. Hold on,” you said. You went back into the kitchen and retrieved a clean hand towel. Beau used it to dry his face, neck, and the top of his chest.
You tried not to stare at the flash of tan skin near the collar of his plain gray shirt, or the wet spots clinging to his back. The sleeves were tight around his arms and across his chest, leading you to believe that despite being in his mid-forties, he kept himself in shape. 
Meanwhile, Jenny drank her water, and pretended not to notice you staring at her boss. Part of her was amused, but a good part of her felt an unfamiliar sting as well.
“Okay,” Beau clapped a hand on his jean-clad thigh after he drained his own water bottle. “What’s next?”
Your face warmed, because you knew what your aunt was about to say before she said it.
“Oh, I think it’s just your bed, right honey?” she asked you.
“All right, let’s do it. Frame, headboard, box spring, and mattress, I assume,” Beau said, rubbing his sweaty hands together. He stretched his arms in preparation.
Again, you had to admire the way his shirt pulled across his tall, broad frame. But you followed after him when he started heading out the door.
“Wait, you shouldn’t do it by yourself!” you called out, and quickly followed after him.
Denise shot Jenny and Cassie a highly amused look.
“That's what she saaaid,” Denise sing-songed. The other two women grimaced.
“Wow. That’s your niece!” Cassie exclaimed.
“And technically my boss, thanks,” Jenny added.
“What, they’re cute, aren’t they?” Denise said, gesturing at the way you and Beau left.
“This from the woman who’s been lusting after that man since the minute he got into town,” Cassie retorted.
“Well, I’m woman enough to bow out when I’ve been thwarted. By my own blood no less,” Denise replied, but her mischievous smile said it all as she breezed back into the kitchen to start unpacking the silverware for you.
She knew for a fact that you’d made dinner for later—and not just because she’d told you how much Beau liked lasagna.
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Beau accepted your help, along with Cassie and Jenny’s in bringing up all the parts of your bed. He just insisted on utilizing his own power tools to put it together.
That was how you found yourself holding the headboard up straight while Beau made sure the frame was aligned. It wasn’t as easy as it looked; the wood panels had to slide into the notch in the headboard just so, before he could start drilling the bolts back in.
“Damn it,” he muttered, when one panel of the frame nearly slipped out of his hand.
“Can you actually use that power drill?” Cassie asked. “Because you’re pretty hopeless with cars.”
Beau rolled his eyes, despite his smile. “Save the belittling for later. Tryin’ to concentrate.”
After a few more minutes of sweating, mild cursing, and internal praying, you, Beau, and Cassie managed to get the bedframe put together with the headboard. Then the box spring, and finally the mattress. It marked the official end of moving in.
While Beau, Cassie, and Jenny took a much-deserved rest sitting on the couch with a round of beers, you went to the kitchen where your aunt had already preheated the oven for you. Now you just needed to pull out the two massive pans of lasagna you’d prepared the night before—as a thank you for everyone who came to help you.
Denise sidled up to you and touched your arm to get your attention.
“Good job inviting our dear Beau to lift furniture for us,” she whispered, waggling her brows. You shot her a look and shushed her.
“Do you always flirt with him like this?” you asked incredulously.
“Well, I might have to do it less blatantly if he’s gonna keep playing Mr. White Knight for you,” she teased. 
“He is not. He’s just…nice,” you whispered back. “So are Cassie and Jenny.” 
Denise gave you an amused look. “Mhmm.”
You rolled your eyes and focused on getting dinner ready.
Within the hour, the five of you were sat at your new modest dining table between the kitchen and the living room, eating lasagna and drinking iced tea. Jenny and Beau had beers alongside them, and conversation drifted from how you intended to set up the apartment, to Cassie’s still open missing backpacker case.
The parents were even more worried now, saying it was out of character for him not to check in with a phone call, despite the email he’d apparently sent them a few days ago. Beau had agreed to give Cassie whatever help she needed on the periphery, especially if further evidence revealed itself on the backpacker’s whereabouts.
Beau was already on his second helping of lasagna when he raised his gaze to you, right across from him at the table.
“Clearly you get your cooking skills from your aunt, because this is fantastic,” he said.
Denise twittered. You blushed a little as you smiled.
“Thank you. I’m glad you like it.”
There was a short lull, filled by the tapping of silverware on plates, before Denise spoke up.
“By the way,” she said, looking to you and Beau. “Did you two have a productive time at grief counseling? What did you talk about?”
It was a well-meaning, but perhaps intrusive question. Both you and Beau tensed up. Cassie gave Denise a warning look. 
“Oh, I’m sorry. You guys don’t have to answer that,” Denise amended. 
“Um, it’s okay,” you replied. “It wasn’t too bad…I think I might go again.”
Beau had a warmer smile for you. “That’s good.”
You were able to return his smile. You turned to Cassie next.
“You went there for a while, right?” you asked. Cassie nodded. 
“It was helpful,” she said. “I’m glad you’re getting something out of it.”
You took that with a nod, and returned your gaze to Beau.
“Have you been going there long?” you asked him.
He tilted his head. “Actually, yesterday was my first time too.”
Your eyes widened. “Oh, really?”
Cassie was intrigued at the way this little scene was playing out. Thought she caught the look on Jenny’s face while she watched it too. Like Jenny was studying them, not sure what to make of it all.
Beau wore a self-deprecating smile.
“Yeah. Just…hadn’t gotten around to it,” he answered you.
There was a heaviness in his voice and in his eyes that you didn’t miss, but you didn’t want to make him uncomfortable in a room full of people, even if they were his friends. 
“Well, I’ll go again if you do,” you offered, a bit bolder than you felt. Beau met your eyes across the table, and his lips lifted at the corners. 
“All right,” he said. “You got yourself a deal, miss ma’am.”
You fought against a blush rising up your neck. You glanced down and took a sip of your iced tea. 
“Look at you. Pulling out your ‘sheriff’ voice,” Cassie teased. 
“Like a rhinestone cowboy…” you sang into your glass. Your smile peeked out around the corners of it.  
Most of the table laughed. Jenny smiled, but opted for drinking her beer.
Meanwhile, Beau gave you a mock look of betrayal. His true amusement shone through his eyes. 
“I see how this is. Gang up on the Texan time,” he remarked. 
That gave Cassie an opening to ask you something, and hopefully get to know you better. Already she had an instinct about you: she liked you. And clearly Beau seemed to as well. Cassie tended to be more cautious about people, even if you were Denise’s family.
“So how are you liking the Midwest so far?” Cassie asked you. 
“So far? It’s the fresh air I needed,” you replied. 
“Oh, you should check out that art studio you wanted to see,” Denise chimed in. 
“You’re an artist too?” Beau asked, raising a brow. You chuckled.
“No, just an amateur with a handful of brushes,” you replied.
You remembered the peace you’d gotten while painting in sight of the mountains. But when you got to Denise’s house, you’d hidden away those canvases, not wanting to be reminded of that week at Sunny Day Excursions. And of Mary. 
“Oh, but have you gone horseback riding yet?” Denise asked. “I know you were gonna try on your camping trip—”
You loved your aunt. You really did, but she also had a knack for putting her foot in her mouth. The others quieted as you dimmed at the actual mention of that God-forsaken place.
“I tried,” you said. “I never actually managed to make it on the horse.” 
“Aw, well if you ever want to go, there’s a stable in town. They give lessons too,” Denise said.
You nodded and forced a smile. You went back to picking at the remnants of lasagna and salad on your plate.
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When everyone began to filter out of your new apartment, each with their own set of well-wishing and a container of leftovers to take home, Beau ended up being last to leave. You had followed him to the door, where you handed him his tupperware of leftovers, and he thanked you in appreciation.
“Now I just need a microwave,” he said. “My toaster oven’s been on the fritz.”
Your brows rose in amusement. “You have a toaster oven, but not a microwave?”
“Well, let’s just say my trailer doesn’t exactly have a whole lot of space for appliances,” Beau replied, chuckling.
You smiled at that. You hesitated, but you eventually touched his hand that held the tupperware.
“Thank you again for coming here, for helping me…and for yesterday,” you said.
Beau almost didn’t realize it, but his face was getting warm. As warm as your pretty smile.
“Well, you’re very welcome,” he said. “And just puttin’ it out there, I may or may not have been riding a horse before I could walk. First memory I have is my dad putting me on Old Bess when I was four. She nearly kicked me off…not that that would happen to you. I’m just saying—” 
“I see.” Your giggle ended with a smirk. Beau tended to ramble. You weren’t sure if it was a nervous tick, or just a facet of his upbeat personality…but you found it endearing.
He leveled you with a grin. “Listen, what I mean to say is, if you’re serious about wanting to learn how to ride, I could teach you. It’s not that hard.”
You bit your lip, mentally beginning to weigh out the pros and cons. To be honest, you still had reservations, both on riding a horse, and on Beau being the one to teach you. Was he just being nice, your “friendly neighborhood sheriff,” or was your aunt onto something?
…You weren’t sure, but your instincts told you that at the very least, you could trust him with this. And trust had become hard for you to give any man.
“Okay, cowboy. Let’s ride,” you said. And you even surprised yourself with the flirtatious note in your voice. 
Beau’s grin kicked up a notch. You then exchanged numbers so you could hash out the details of when and where to meet sometime soon. Hopefully soon. 
Then you wished him a good night. 
“G’night, darlin’,” he said. He lingered in the hallway for a parting grin. “And welcome home.”
Your answering smile warmed him, long after he left your door.
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AN: *rubs hands together* We're really getting into it now. 😂 Finally we have the big reveal of why she left Chicago, and the start of her and Beau's bond. You'll see more of that, and of Emily, in the next chapter...
Next Time:
You gasped and gripped even tighter with your thighs. With almost everything you had.
You were still far too unsteady for comfort on this damn horse. The poor animal whinnied, tossing his head back with a huff. Unfortunately, that just made you tense up even more as you held onto his neck. 
Beau tried not to laugh. You looked like a cat clinging to the edge of a bath.
“Okay, you needa relax a little,” he said. “He ain’t gonna buck you, long as you don’t give him a reason to.”
You shot him a narrowed look.
▶️ Keep Reading: PART 4
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Ko-Fi Me ☕
Series Masterlist
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kaleldobrev · 10 months
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Mutual Pining
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Pairing: Dean Winchester/Fem!Reader
Summary: Dean and you are in love with each other, and it's obvious to everyone but the two of you
Word Count: 4.3k
Warnings: Cursing (10x), Mutual Pining, Fluff
Authors Note: Switches between reader and Deans “POV” but still written in the third person | This came out a lot longer than I thought, but I loved the way it turned out! I hope you guys do too! | If you liked this, don’t forget to like & reblog. I really appreciate it! Feedback is always welcome ♡
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For as long as you’ve known Dean, he has always been incredibly nice to you, which initially surprised you given his gruff exterior. Growing up, you were always told to never judge a book by its cover, and things aren’t always what they seem to be; and you had felt that this truly applied to Dean. Despite his appearance (although a very attractive one you had to admit) and his very I don’t give a fuck attitude he sometimes gave off, he was genuinely one of the nicest, funniest, charismatic, loving, and selfless people that you have ever met in your entire life. He was just someone that wanted more than anything to love someone (to be loved by someone) – and craved touch.
He was a catch in all senses of the word: he was smart, sexy, cute, he could sing (well not good, but at least he liked doing karaoke!), he could cook and bake (you were teaching him a lot about baking lately, even though he did already know a thing or two), he was handy (both when it came to cars and household maintenance), and he was a nerd (Star Wars, horror movies, Star Trek, cartoons, you name it). For as long as you had known him, it amazed you that someone hadn’t snatched him up yet. Well, you knew about some of these instances (Cassie or Lisa for example), but Dean seemed to be under the impression that the reason it never seemed to work out with these women is because of the job, or he would blame himself. “I just don’t think you found the right woman yet.” You had told him. This had earned you a weird look from Dean, and since then, you hadn’t given your two cents into his love life, despite being one of his closest confidants.
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For as long as Dean has known you, you’ve always been incredibly nice to him; even when he knew he didn’t deserve it. When he had met you years ago, it took him by surprise to find out that you were a hunter given your exterior and extremely bubbling personality and positive energy that you radiated (he would later come to start calling you Sunshine as he considered you the light of his life in his ever so present and consistent cloudy days he called his life). “Just because you’re a hunter, doesn’t mean you have to be depressed all the time.” You had said to him. “But we’ve all witnessed and endured horrible things. Don’t know how you can still be so happy.” He had said back to you. You had simply shrugged stating, “You have your way of coping, and I have mine.” What Dean had initially thought that he hated about you (you being that Ray of Sunshine) had actually grown into something that he would love and appreciate about you.
Something that he always tended to carry in the back of his mind is quote that you had frequently said: Never judge a book by its cover, and things aren’t always what they seem to be; and he felt that your quote really did apply to you. Despite the type of energy that you give off, and despite your colorful array of clothing, you were genuinely one of the best hunters that he has ever met or worked with in his life.
You were a catch in all senses of the word. You were smart, cunning, funny, cute, sexy (even when you weren’t even remotely trying to be). You knew how to cook and bake (he was particularly fond of your peach and apple pies that you had made), you could sing (despite you saying how awful you were, your voice had sounded like honey to him), and you knew how to shoot a gun almost as good as him (in reality, you were probably a much better shot, but he would never admit that). It amazed him that you hadn’t settled down yet, even though he knew that was something that you had wanted to do at some point in your life. “I guess I just haven’t found the right yet guy. Just like how you haven’t found the right woman yet.” You had told him. “He’s sitting right in front of you Sunshine,” he had desperately wanted to say to you.
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It was a lazy Sunday at the Bunker, and since there was no cases you had decided that you were going to do some baking today. You had promised Dean that you would him your famous peach and apple pie sometime this week, and since that was something you promised him last Tuesday, you were getting near close to almost falling through with your promise – something that you didn’t want to do, especially when it came to Dean.
Dean didn’t ask for much. So when he asked ever so politely if you could make this for him adding “no rush of course” at the end of his request, you were more than happy to oblige. This man has saved your ass more times than you could possibly count, and never asked for anything in return. So, the least you could do for the man was bake him a pie right?
Walking into the kitchen you were wearing your comfy clothes which consisted of a very faded AC/DC shirt that Dean had lent you they you had never given back (to be fair, he never asked for it back), a plain hot pink sweatshirt, black sweatpants and hot pink fuzzy socks.
Rolling up your sleeves, you walked over to the cabinet to grab everything they you would need in order to make the pie for Dean. Technically speaking, you were making the pie for everyone to enjoy, but you knew the second Dean for a whiff of the peachy and appley goodness, he would most likely hoard this (not that you had a problem with that, you were happy that he enjoyed your cooking and baking that much).
Placing your phone on the counter, you decided to play some music, picking the playlist you had rightfully named “Baking/Cooking Jams” (pun intended), so the quietness didn’t seem so eerie to you. You didn’t like the quiet at times, but you had such fond memories of singing along and dancing along to the music when you were a little girl in the kitchen with your mom or grandma.
One of the things that you appreciated, was the fact that none of the boys made fun of you while you did this (not that it would have bothered you if they did), but you half expected one of them to say something. The closest any of them had gotten to “making fun” of or commenting on your dance moves or singing had come from Dean, and his comments which very complimentary. You were so thrown off, that at first you thought he was fucking with you.
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It’s been almost a week since Dean had requested you make your famous peach and apple pie, and there was a part of him that was starting to get just a tad disappointed when you hadn’t made it yet. But one of the things that was holding him together, was the fact that you always kept your promises and followed through with them (it was one of the things that he loved about you. He had asked for the pie on Tuesday, and it was now Sunday. He had wanted to re-ask you, but decided against it because he didn’t want to seem pushy and he didn’t want to bother you with what he seemed to be a silly request. “You could never bother her Dean. Trust me.” Sam had told him numerous times.
As Dean walked down the hallway of the Bunker, he could hear the quiet sounds of your music coming from the kitchen. The only reason he knew that it was your music is because he recognized the current song that was playing as a part of “Baking/Cooking Jams” playlist (pun intended). He smiled, hoping that since you were listening to this playlist it meant that you were baking something - specifically, baking the pie that you had promised him.
Dean peaked his head into the kitchen and he couldn’t help but smile at the sight before him. You were bopping your head, quietly singing along, and shaking your shoulders to the music as you were lining a tin with your homemade pie crust. You were wearing your hot pink sweatshirt (something that he loved always seeing you wear) and your fuzzy socks (another thing that he secretly loved). Wonder what’s underneath. Hope it’s one of my shirts…or nothing at all…He thought to himself. No Dean, don’t think that way.
Almost as if you could read his mind (which he knew you couldn’t do and was extremely thankful that you couldn’t) you stopped your dancing and looked at him, giving him the biggest smile you could muster up. “Hey you!” Your voice sounded so cheerful, so inviting, it practically made him melt.
“Hey Sunshine.” He said, walking into the kitchen and making his way to the island. “Whatcha making?” He asked, as if he couldn’t tell from the fresh cut apples and peaches on the counter in front of him.
“Your favorite.” You smiled, alternating between placing the peaches and apples into the pie tin. “Sorry it took so long Dean.”
Your apology surprised him. “Why are you saying sorry?” He questioned; you literally had no reason to be apologizing to him right now.
“Well, I know you asked for this Tuesday and it’s Sunday now.” Your voice that was once full of joy, was now sounding almost slightly sad and embarrassed, almost as if you were disappointed in yourself. “I swear I didn’t forget. Got a bit sidetracked with research this week.” You looked down just then, finishing up with the filling.
“Hey.” He began to say and you looked up at him. “Please don’t apologize for something like that okay?” You nodded. “Need any help?”
You shook your head. “I’m good Dean. But thanks for the offer.” You said, placing the pie into the oven.
“It’ll be ready soonish.” You gave him a smile. He could sense that you were trying to go back to your joyful voice, but you seemed still slightly upset, despite you having no reason to be.
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Although you said you didn’t need the help, Dean started to gather all of the dirty dishes that you had made while you were baking. “Dean, you don’t have to do that.” You said as you watched him bring all of the dishes into the sink.
He turned the faucet on and looked at you. “It’s the least I can do Y/N.”
“I would have done it.” You walked over to the sink, picking up a dish rag and started drying the dishes he was finished washing. He looked at you briefly before letting out a small chuckle. “What?”
“Sweetheart, no you wouldn’t have. You would have left the dishes in the sink and I would have come to clean them up anyway. I know you love baking and cooking, but you hate the clean up.” You had started to open your mouth to comment, but you knew what he had said to you was the truth. Yes, you didn’t mind doing dishes, but you hated doing a large amount of dishes.
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“I see Y/N finally made you your pie.” Sam said, gesturing to the giant slice of pie that Dean came walking into the War Room with.
Dean walked over with the biggest smile on his face. “It’s her best one yet.” Dean said, mouth full of pie. He sat down across from Sam who was on his laptop. “I really do think the singing and dancing helps.”
“I don’t know why you just don’t tell her.” Sam said.
“She knows I like her singing and dancing.” Dean took a mouthful of pie and Sam couldn’t help but roll his eyes at his brother.
“I mean how you feel about her.” Sam’s comment had made Dean stop chewing his pie mid bite before he gulped it down.
Dean went to open his mouth, to say something, but he couldn’t think of anything clever or snarky to say. “I’ll pass.” He decided to say.
“You’ll…pass? What does that even mean?” For as long as Sam had been around you and Dean, it seemed completely obvious to everyone that you two had feelings for each other, but for some reason, it seemed like neither of you understood that you two had feelings for each other.
“I said, I’ll pass.” Dean repeated. “What about that can’t you wrap your head around?”
“Dean, you’ve been in love with Y/N since you’ve met her. Which, honestly, is quite a record.” Sam had never seen his brother be so in love with someone before, let alone being in love with someone for as long as he had been in love with you.
“Look Sam, she doesn’t like me in the way okay? I’ve made my peace with that. Why would I tell her that I love her if she doesn’t feel the same way? Sounds very silly to me.” Dean got up from his chair and walked out of the room with this now empty plate.
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You were lying down on your bed with your laptop in front of you researching. You weren’t really researching anything in particular, just random things that had peaked your interest. As you were typing away, a small knock came from the other side of your door. “Who is it?” You asked.
“It’s Sam.”
“Come in!” You called back, the door opening and quickly shutting just as fast. You questioned the abruptness of the door. “Everything alright?”
“Peachy.” Sam replied. He pointed to the edge of your bed. “Can I sit?” You nodded.
“Did you get to try any of the pie yet? Or did Dean finish it already?” You joked, closing your laptop.
“No, not yet. He uh, he didn’t finish it yet shockingly.” Sam’s expression looked at you more serious now. “Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.” You smiled.
“Have you ever thought about telling Dean how you feel?” His question seemed to be coming out of nowhere.
“I…No.” You had wanted to tell Dean more than anything how you felt about him, but you knew that he didn’t feel the same way about you. “Why would I tell Dean that I love him when I know for a fact that he doesn’t feel the same way? It’s a little silly don’t you think?” Sam couldn’t help but almost let out a laugh. You two really are meant for each other. Sam thought to himself.
“But what if, there actually is a chance that he loves you too?” Sam asked.
You laughed. “Don’t you think he would have told me by now?”
“What if he’s afraid of the same thing you are?”
“Meaning…?” You weren’t completely sure of the point that Sam was trying to make to you.
“Meaning, what if he loves you too but thinks that you don’t love him back?” You furrowed your brow at Sam’s question.
“Dean afraid of telling me how he feels?” You laughed. “He doesn’t love me Sammy, trust me. I know what he looks like when he’s in love, and that ain’t the same way he looks at me.”
“Are you sure about that?” Sam challenged.
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Dean and you both were laying awake at night, thinking about the comments that Sam had said to the both of you. The both of you had similar thoughts in your minds: Does Dean really love me? Does Y/N really love me? Have I been reading the signals all wrong?
“Sam wouldn’t just bring that up if he didn’t say something right?” You said quietly aloud to yourself.
“Did Y/N say something to him?” Dean said quietly aloud to himself.
“I could easily ask him.” You said.
“No, no. I can’t just ask her.” Dean said.
“Sam’s fucking with me.” You and Dean said in unison.
“No…Sam wouldn’t do that.” You rationalized with yourself.
“No, Sam wouldn’t fuck with me like that.” Dean rationalized with himself.
“He’s literally right down the fucking hall. I could just…be hypothetical?” You questioned.
“It’s three in the morning. She’s probably sleeping.” He said.
“Fuck it.” You two said in unison, both practically jumping out of your beds.
You opened your door and started making your way down the hall. As you were walking, you were trying to keep your composure despite how nervous you were in that moment. “Don’t chicken out now Y/N.” You mumbled.
“Alright. You got this. You got this.” Dean mumbled. “Don’t be a pussy now.”
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Your head was down, but just up enough to catch yourself if someone else was in the hallway. As you were walking you noticed Dean coming down the hallway, he seemed nervous and you wondered why.
“Fuck I can’t do this.” You whispered and started turning around back toward your room.
“Y/N?” Dean’s voice had made you stop in your tracks, making you turn back toward him.
“Hey.” You tried to make your breath even. “What are…What are you doing up?”
“I could ask you the same thing.” He replied.
“I asked you first.” You said.
“I…Wanted to talk to you.” He sounded so nervous.
“At three in the morning?” You questioned.
“Yeah I uh…You know what, this can wait till later.” He said, starting to turn back into the direction of his room.
For some reason you had found yourself running after him, like you were in some cheesy romcom that you both secretly loved. “Wait.” You grabbed his arm, and he almost spun back in your direction.
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Dean looked at you before looking at your hand. It amazed him each and every time how soft they had felt whenever you touched him. God, what I’d do to feel your hands all over. He thought to himself. “What’s up?”
“Dean…” He watched you take a deep breath. You were nervous and he could tell. He had known you long enough to know what you were feeling by just your body language.
You removed your hand from his arm, and he already missed the contact. “Y/N?” He asked.
“I uh…Can we talk in your room?” You asked, and he found himself automatically nodding.
“Of course.” He gave you a smile, hoping that would comfort you in some way.
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You didn’t realize how nervous you truly were until you had made your way into Dean’s room. You had been in his room numerous of times (even spending the night in here) and it always strangely gave you comfort, but not in this moment. It was one of the rare occurrences in which even the calmness his room usually gave you, ceased to help you.
Dean shut the door behind you, something that made you even more nervous. You weren’t afraid that the door was shut, a majority of the time you and him had been in your room or his room, the door was usually shut. “I can, I can leave it open if you want?” He almost questioned, gesturing toward the door.
“No. No. It’s fine.” You said. “Can I…Mind if I sit on your bed?” You asked. It felt strange asking to sit on his bed. In normal circumstances, you would have just walked into his room and just sat down, never asking if you could first. Something that you were now realizing, was that you were the only person that never had to ask if you could sit down on his bed - everyone else had to ask him.
“You know you don’t have to ask.” Dean sat down on the edge of his bed and patted the spot next to him, in which you hesitantly sat down.
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Dean looked into your eyes as you sat down next to him, placing your hands on your thighs. You rubbed them up and down. It kills me to see how nervous you are. He thought to himself, so badly wanting to say it out loud to you. “Sorry. I don’t know why I’m nervous.” You let out a small, nervous chuckle. It made his heart ache.
“I’m nervous too.” He said, hoping that it would make you somehow less nervous.
“Why are you nervous?” You asked. Crap. How do I answer that? He thought to himself.
“Probably for the same reason you are.” He looked at your face, looking for some kind of hint of what you possibly could be thinking.
“I highly doubt that.” You looked away, and folded your hands as if you were back in school, patiently waiting for the teacher to give you instructions.
It started to seem very evident to Dean now, that you were either nervous because Sam was right - you did in fact love him, or you were nervous because you were trying to figure out the best way to tell him that you didn’t feel the same way that he did about you. Either way, it scared him.
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“I…I thought this would be easier somehow.” You admitted, after what seemed like a forever amount of silence between the two of you.
“I feel like I friggin teenager.” Dean joked, you knew he was trying his best to lighten the mood.
“Same here.” You gave him a nervous smile. “Um…Dean…” You took a deep breath, trying to figure out the best way to tell him, while at the same time, talking yourself out of telling him. “You know you’re my best friend right?”
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“You know you’re my best friend right?” There is was, the sentence that he didn’t want to hear.
“Yeah.” He said, feeling his heart quickly sinking into the pit of his stomach.
“And you know I appreciate you more than anything.” You couldn’t even look at him; he wasn’t sure if that was better or worse somehow.
He reached out for your arm, gently grabbing it. “I appreciate you too Sweetheart. And I know I don’t tell you that enough.”
“Don’t be silly. You show me plenty.” Your statement was true, he may not have realized it, but there were plenty of times when he had found himself doing things to show you how much he truly cared and appreciated you, even when he didn’t outright tell you - you were the same way. You sighed. “Dean –”
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“Before you say anything, I just want to tell you that whatever you say to me, our friendship is never gonna change. I won’t hate you. I could never hate you, okay?” He wasn’t sure if he was trying to reassure you, or reassure himself in that moment.
“Here it goes then.” You took yet another deep breath.
“Fuck it.” You heard Dean mumble. Not even getting a second to react, his lips were suddenly on yours. His lips were just as soft as you had thought that they would be. Despite wanting to kiss him for as long as you had known him, you never thought that this is how your first kiss with him was going to go.
The kiss was quick, and not nearly as long as you had wanted it to be. He released his lips from yours and he stared at you blankly, almost embarrassed. “Sorry.” Dean said. “I uh…” He was actually speechless. “Shit.” He let go of your arms.
“Sammy was right.” He hears you mumble.
“What did my brother tell you?” He needed to know how badly the damage control was going to be, and how much he was going to kill his brother.
“He…He asked me if I um…If I ever thought about telling you how I feel.” So Sammy got to you too huh, Dean thought. “I told him that it would be silly of me to tell you how I felt because I knew you didn’t feel the same way.” You chuckled, nervously. “I guess…I guess I was wrong.”
“I told Sammy the same thing earlier.” He admitted. “As much as I wanted to tell you…” He trailed off, unsure of what he had wanted to say next, because there was so much he had wanted to say to you.
“You didn’t want to ruin our friendship in case I didn’t feel the same way.” You said, practically finishing his sentence for him. “I felt the same way. I mean, you know just as well as I do how hard it is to find people you can trust and rely on. I love both of you, and I didn’t want to say or do anything that would of fucked my relationship up with you guys.”
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“So, what do we do now?” You asked, unsure of what was going to happen next. Just because the two of you had admitted your feelings for each other, doesn’t mean that you would actually do anything about it. As much as you had wanted to try out a relationship with Dean, you knew that he wasn’t much of the relationship type – then again, maybe it was because he hadn’t found the right person?
Dean looked over at the clock, noticing that it was almost 4:30 in the morning. He looked back over to you, almost looking too tired. “You spend the night in here with me. Or, morning in here with me.”
“And do what Dean?” You asked, curious as there could be a million things on his mind.
“Just lay here together…” He began to say, slightly pulling you in close. “Maybe cuddle…” He continued, leaning in slightly, inches away from your lips.
“Do some more kissing maybe…?” You whispered, slightly questioning. “Or are you too tired?”
“Hmmm, don’t think I’d ever be tired enough to not kiss you Sunshine.” He smiled tiredly, leaning in and kissing you again.
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casper-spills · 4 months
Text
♡ 𝓥𝓪𝓵𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓮'𝓼 𝓢𝓹𝓮𝓬𝓲𝓪𝓵: 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓯𝓲𝓻𝓼𝓽 𝓭𝓪𝓽𝓮 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓹𝓮𝓻𝓼𝓸𝓷 ♡
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♡ ᴘɪʟᴇ 1 ~ ᴘɪʟᴇ 2 ~ ᴘɪʟᴇ 3 ♡
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Happy Valentine's Day! ♡
I hope everyone's doing well! ♡ It's been a while since I've done one of these and I've been really excited to do this one! This time, I'm writing these almost like a story of what's going to happen but I will warn you, I am not the most amazing story teller in the world haha but I hope everybody enjoys the reading they got and remember to only take what resonates ♡
All feedback is appreciated!
Sincerely,
Cassy the friendly ghost ♡
Discaimer: Tarot reading is for entertainment purposes only and should never take the place of professional therapy or professional legal, medicinal or financial advice.
𝒱𝒶𝓁𝑒𝓃𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑒𝓈 𝒟𝒶𝓎 𝒟𝒾𝓈𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓃𝓉! ♡
𝟧𝟢% 𝑜𝒻𝒻 𝒫𝒶𝒾𝒹 𝑅𝑒𝒶𝒹𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈!
Ends on Feb 19th 2 Questions £10 ~ £5 3 Questions £14 ~ £7 5 Questions £24 ~ £12 10 Questions £40 ~ £20
| BOOK A READING WITH ME | KO-FI |
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♡ ᴘɪʟᴇ 1 ♡
Cards: Five of Swords, The Sun, Knight of Wands, The Hierophant (reversed), The Hanged Man, The Moon, Five of Cups (reversed), Four of Cups, Six of Coins, The World (reversed), The Devil, The Fool (reversed), Ace of Swords (reversed)
Some of you might be a part of the LGBT community and for those of you who aren't, it might be that you are not very traditional and don't play into the roles that society would have placed you in.
It is a warm and sunny day by a lake or some kind of body of water but I get the feeling that maybe this is someplace you are not supposed to be, like a private or closed off area. Maybe this could be a closed off pool area in an old building. You find your way in and I see your date being reluctant to go but they follow you anyway. They're becoming increasingly more anxious about being here but you reassure them that nobody comes here and reveal the suprise, a game! This might be some kind of arcade game or ping pong table that has been left on the property and, soon enough, they give in (since they're a sucker for games.)
Now this is interesting. You actually aren't sure if this person feels the same way about you and this is you shooting your shot. Again, I get the feeling that the majority of you might be LGBTQ+ and you're really taking the leap of faith on this. Good for you!
You both having lots of fun, your date managed to score a point and you cheer together! (So cute). There's a moment of silence and there's intent behind their gaze, and you think to yourself, 'its now or never'. So you pour every ounce of faith into this chance and swiftly kiss them, waiting for their response. To your relief, they return the kiss, and it is passionate and warm and perfect ♡
Messages from them to you: 'You're so beautiful and I don't know how to tell you' 'I hope it is what i think it is' 'I really hope you're sure about this and about me' 'I'm sure that it's you that I want' 'Please make the first move'
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♡ ᴘɪʟᴇ 2 ♡
Cards: Eight of Cups, Page of Coins (horizontal), King of Cups, The Devil (horizontal), The Lovers, Three of Coins, The Tower (horizontal), Page of Cups (horizontal), The Hanged Man (horizontal)
This is somewhere quiet, somewhere where people might come to learn like a library accept there isn't many people here. I could be that you're a student and I'm getting major breakfast club vibes. I feel like you and your person are in detention together or perhaps it feels like you're getting punished with the work you have to do. (I know this isn't the most romantic date in the world but stay with me.)
I'm getting the feeling that you are paired with this person for a project. Even though you really want to focus and not fall behind, they seem to be distracting you and weighing on your mind. You like them because how can you not? They're gorgeous! But they're annoying the heck out of you, 'plus, they're super weird', you think to yourself.
You eventually decide that this is getting too much and get up from your seat to start looking in one of the isles for a book. You feel your face turning redder and redder the more they try to get your attention. Once they realise that they aren't getting anywhere, they begin to actually talk to you about the work and ask to see the book you have taken off the shelf. Suddenly, they don't seem as ignorant as you thought, and they're pretty smart when they actually want to be. You wonder if maybe this person just wants to connect so you give in and entertain them a little.
You very quickly regret your decision when they boldly ask you if you're blushing because you like them. Not saying anything, you look away, poorly hiding the fact that you're clearly red in the face. Under your breath you ask them, 'please, stop messing with me' because you're starting to feel like you could cry if this keeps up. There's a moment where they don't say anything and the silence becomes defening. All you can hear right now is the beating of your heart and you can't help but feel like their gaze is becoming too intense for you.
Unexpectedly, the awkwardness is broken by a kiss on the cheek. You're thinking, 'what the heck? Are they trying to give me emotional whiplash?' But before you can say anything they apologise to you. 'I'll stop messing with you and we can get back to doing the project.' They seem sincere and a little different to how they were a second ago. So you shake it off and agree to continue the project, though it's really difficult to focus properly.
Messages from them to you: 'If I don't do anything now, then you'll never consider me' 'I like how intelligent you are' 'I want to get to know you more' 'I need to know what you think of me' 'I want to get closer to you'
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♡ ᴘɪʟᴇ 3 ♡
Cards: Four of Swords (reversed), The Star (reversed), Three of Swords (reversed), Seven of Wands (reversed), Nine of Wands (horizontal), Queen of Coins (reversed), Eight of Swords (reversed)
You're at their house, in their bedroom and I have the feeling that maybe you've known this person for a while now. It's not anything too crazy, just laying down, listening to music and watching the star projector spin. This is perfect because you've been having a really tough week and you really need to just relax. Things might have been tough at work or home and you really need someone to vent to.
So they have set up a comfortable space for you, brought snacks and drinks, and offered to listen for as long as you wanted. This isn't really intened to be a date and honestly, it isn't much of one either, but it's intimiate and it feels different from all the other times that you've hung out with them. They're normally more energetic and chaotic when you hang out with them but today they're really trying to be more considerate and more sensitive. You really appreciate that from them. You're not sure that you want to progress this feeling yet, so your boundaries are clear and all you want right now is a friend. But that doesn't mean things won't change.
Messages from them to you: 'I admire you' 'You're so beautiful' 'You've seen so much' 'Everything is going to be okay' 'You can stay here as long as you want'
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♥Thank you for your support! Happy Valentine's Day♥
Special thanks to: @kittywatching @livelythoughts @visualbutterflysworld @honeytarotmind @jeff-satur-is-my-baby-girl @miraclekay97 @artscapismsworld @julyourwitch @notakitsune @mercurialstime @soledad-montoya @depressedcap @bibislutmarvel @coconuttreesstuff
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heavcnslyre · 11 months
Text
chapter one - j.f. ( masterlist )
GORGEOUS.
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“ocean blue eyes looking in mine,
i feel like i might sink and drown and die”
the air outside was cold, which was shocking for a mid-june morning. you were awake early, as you often were since you preferred to be productive in the mornings, but today it was for a different reason. you had barely slept all night. this morning, you were returning to susannah’s beach house in cousins. you looked forward to this day every year, and it was always just as special every time it came around.
“you all ready?” a voice breaks your silence as laurel peaks her head out the front door, watching you sit on the porch swing. you smile at her.
“definitely,” you say. “coffee on the counter, did you see it?”
she walks over to you and gives you a kiss on the forehead. “i did. thank you. now get your bag in the car, we’ll leave in twenty.”
“can i drive?” you ask, following her inside. she shakes her head.
“already told steven he could.”
as she says it, steven comes down the stairs and ruffles your hair as he walks past you. “sorry!”
“no you’re not,” you grumble, turning away to grab your bags. you had just gotten your license less than a month ago but steven has had his for months, so he usually got first dibs on driving. you usually didn’t mind, but the drive to cousins was special to you, and you would have loved to be able to make the drive yourself. not driving, you thought, would at least give you more time to prepare. although, you would have appreciated the distraction. this year felt different. you felt different. you weren’t really sure if it was a good different or not.
part of you was terrified, for some reason. most summers, you went to cousins completely disconnected from the world back at home. cousins was it’s own world, in your mind. the people, the house, the entire atmosphere, it was magical. it absolutely transported you, and you let it. this year, you had a connection to back home. your boyfriend, peter. you and him started dating two months ago after your best friend cassie introduced you to him, and things have been incredible ever since. if you were honest, you had never really committed to a guy before him, but it seemed to be working out well so far. the reason why you were terrified, you figured, was because this trip to cousins could change that. jeremiah fisher could change that.
you had talked to plenty of guys, even dated a few for a couple weeks or so, but as soon as jeremiah fisher comes around, you lose sight of everything — and everyone — around you. he somehow has that effect on you, and he has your whole life. but you do really like peter, so you told yourself you wouldn’t ruin something good for yourself again, just because you’ve always been waiting for jeremiah. you’ve made a fool of yourself enough over the years, attempting to get closer to him as he flirts with everyone in the world, that you know it was time to change something.
you just hope that you’ll be able to stick to it.
“(y/n),” you’re woken up by your sister belly poking your side, “(y/n), you’re drooling on me.”
you groggily open your eyes and stretch, moving away from her, “sorry bells.”
“s’kay,” she yawns. “we’re almost there, anyways. and your phones been blowing up. all from peter,” she says the last part teasingly, pushing your phone towards you. you laugh as you unlock your phone, seeing that she was right, and peter had texted you seven times.
peter: good morning!!
peter: sorry ik you’ve probably been up for hours
peter: omg and youre probably almost to the beach already
peter: miss u already
peter: there’s a party tomorrow night i was thinking about going to if that’s okay with you
peter: cassie’s gonna be there and stuff and you know i’ll be thinking about you forever so you’d have nothing to worry about
peter: just let me know if you’re comfortable with it okay?
you: oh my peter
you: you don’t need my permission to go have fun!!! of course you can go to the party :)
you: just text me and keep me updated okay? and make sure there’s a DD
peter: of course. you’re the best!
you: 🤍🤍
you smile at your phone and as soon you look back up, you were entering cousins. you didn’t realize how long you had slept for, but as soon as you saw the sign, your heart skipped a beat. you were back. you were back, and everything was good, including your lovely boyfriend back home. this summer was going to be perfect, you just knew it. your fears from this morning were fading and you decided that no matter what happens, you’re going to be okay. you’re going to have a great summer.
“did susannah get a new car?” steven asks as he pulls the car into the driveway of the house. laurel nods, a small smile forming on her face as the house comes into few. the same smile was present on everyone’s faces in the car. this place was so special to all of you.
“yeah, she gets bored with her cars easily,” laurel finally says, a hint of distaste in her voice. “she just likes to change things often.”
steven was barely listening and was halfway out of the car by the time laurel was done talking. his eyes were set on susannah, who was standing at the doorway, watching your car pull in. she looked as beautiful and radiant as ever, and even more so, especially since it was obvious that she was healthier now than she was last summer. her hair got longer and the glow on her face was back, lighting up her eyes and giving her the most approachable demeanor possible. she was perfect.
you get out of the car shortly after steven, and follow him up the steps to hug susannah tightly. she rubs your back as she hugs you. “oh sweet (y/n), you beautiful girl. i’m so happy to see you.”
“i’ve missed you so much,” you say back, and she gives you another squeeze before letting you go and hugging laurel. you look down by the car at steven, who was now talking to jeremiah, who had his back to you. your breath caught in your throat when you saw him, but you shook it off. that was not what this was going to be. he was one of your best friends, your family. that was all. that didn’t stop your heart rate from speeding up the second that he turned around and your eyes met his beautiful, bright blue ones. his face softened as soon as he saw you, but his smile remained just as wide. you move towards him and he watches you, his eyes never leaving yours as you approach him.
“(y/n),” he says, looking you up and down and grinning. “you look different.”
you knit your eyebrows and look down at yourself. “good different?”
jeremiah laughs. “always good.”
you giggle and wrap your arms around his neck and he pulls you into a close hug. you take in his scent, a mix of saltwater and his vanilla cologne, the one that conrad and steven have always made fun of him for. they always say it makes him smell too girly. you have always thought he smelled perfect.
“i have so much to tell you,” jeremiah says as you pull away from the hug. “this summer is going to be amazing!”
“i can’t wait,” you grin. the two of you always spent the first night sitting on the beach after dinner, talking all night. he would fill you in on his school year, and you would fill him in on yours. it usually ended with both of you in the ocean and sandy, but it was always one of your favorite traditions.
as you turn away from jeremiah, belly rushes out of the car and pulls him into a hug and he spins her around. your eyes catch on conrad, who had just rounded the corner of the house, and was staring at them. he meets your eye and smiles sheepishly, knowing that you had caught him. you smile and go pull him into a tight hug. “hey connie.”
“hey (y/n). it’s good to see you,” he says. as you pull apart, his eyes are caught on belly again, who is staring at him this time, too. you smile at the sight and push conrad towards her gently. the corner of his mouth slightly turns up and he walks to her as you walk back over to jeremiah and steven, who were giggling to themselves. when jeremiah sees you walking towards them, he waves you over quickly.
“belly flop time,” he says, a wide grin on his face. you laugh.
“yes!” the three of you walk towards conrad and belly, who were laughing with each other, seemingly in their own world.
“hey, i don’t know about you guys but…” steven pretends to check his nonexistent watch on his wrist. “i think it’s time…for a…belly flop!”
belly squeals as the boys grab her, conrad carrying her by her armpits and the other two grabbing her feet. you giggle and lead the way, opening the gate to the pool and letting them pass through. you and the boys count down from three and they throw belly in the water. you all laugh as she flails around, her clothes completely soaked. your smile fades as the boys turn to you, mischievous smiles on their faces. “no.”
“it’s not fair to only throw belly in there, is it?” steven says innocently. you shake your head and attempt to run away, but before you can, jeremiah has his arms wrapped around your waist and lifts you effortlessly in the air. steven and conrad help him and grab your legs, counting down from three just like they did with belly. she dove out of the way as the boys throw you into the water. luckily, the water was warm, and while the feeling of your wet clothes was uncomfortable on your skin, the water was quite refreshing. belly giggles as you swim towards her and pull her into a hug, but in the hug, you whisper in her ear. “let’s get back at them?”
she nods as if she read your mind, and when you pull apart and begin to approach the edge, she’s suddenly struggling. “wait, wait guys, my ankle.”
“what’s wrong belly?” conrad asks. she continues struggling in staying afloat.
“i…i hurt my ankle i think. i cant walk on it,” she reaches her arm out to conrad. “help me out.”
he reaches out, and as their hands connect she pulls him into the water and the other boys burst out in laughter, jeremiah doubling over in laughter with his hands on his knees. taking advantage of this moment, you grab his hands and pull him into the water too, completely catching him off guard as he falls into the water next to you. now steven is standing on the edge, struggling to breathe from laughing so hard. “no way they got both of you!”
jeremiah flips his hair out of his face and looks up at steven. “c’mon steven, waters nice! you don’t wanna be left out, do you?”
steven shakes his head, still laughing. “i think i’ll survive being left out today. these shoes were expensive.”
“lame!” jeremiah calls out as steven walks towards the house, his laughter still echoing in the air. jeremiah turns his attention to you and swims over to you, grabbing your waist and spinning you around. “i’ll get you back for pulling me in here.”
you laugh. “sure you will. c’mon, let’s go dry off for dinner.”
he hops out of the side of the pool and offers an arm to help you out. he pulls you out of the pool with ease. “race you upstairs?”
“that sounds dangerous,” you say. “wet feet on tile and hardwood floor? with your clumsiness?”
he mocks offense. “you think i’m clumsy? ridiculous.”
“jere, you tripped over a penny on the beach last summer,” you say. “and i don’t think we’ve had a summer here where we haven’t had to bring you to the e.r. from some injury.”
“the sand is trippy!” he claims. “and i just live an adventurous lifestyle. which is why i’m totally beating you upstairs.”
“better catch me first!” you say and immediately take off sprinting, up the stairs to the porch and through the sliding glass doors, which you attempt to close in front of jeremiah, who caught up with you quickly. carefully, you run through the house but the slippery floors really did make it difficult. soon, you’re halfway up the stairs and jeremiah is right behind you, laughing. “you’re such a cheater!”
“i’m just smarter than you!” you yell as you approach your bedroom, which was right next to his. he shakes his head.
“no way. just a cheater,” he grins at you one more time as he enters his bedroom, closing the door behind him. you walk into yours as well, your head spinning from the first thirty minutes you had spent here. jeremiah made everything around you feel insignificant and you felt like you were floating when he touched you. and for the first time in your life, you hated the feeling. you were with peter now. you had to focus on peter, not jeremiah.
it was hard to do that when you were spending the next two months living with him, your rooms right next to each other, and the walls thin enough that you could hear everything in each others rooms. whenever he played music, you heard every word. every conversation, every ounce of laughter, every time either of you cried. it was good, having a close connection to him, but you knew it was just going to make things so much harder.
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