#casually turns into some old coasters

[lex-the-flex]

Soured Whiskey

Logan Howlett x reader

Summary: Your one night stand with a handsome stranger at the bar leads to a different endeavor.

Word Count: 2k

Warning(s): HEAVY ANGST, brief cursing, small moments of action and violence, brief drinking, Logan being protective, MEGA FLUFF, SMUT 18+ – Unprotected sex (wrap it up kids), oral (f! receiving), fingering, skin + body appreciation, Logan being a gentleman and the reader being lovely. (Basically distant soulmates).

A/N: I'm officially seeing Deadpool and Wolverine tomorrow and I'm so excited! But in the meantime, I thought I'd add to the pile of Wolverine smut.

Strings of ornately hung light bulbs decorate the bar, bringing a cozy old-school vibe to the modernized saloon. Closing the door behind you, the cold city atmosphere was instantly transformed into a quaint and warm invitation. You’re friends couldn’t stop raving about this new bar and that you all just had to go here and try the endless menu of cocktails and tapas. 

So through your busy work week, your friends informed you to meet at the bar on Friday once the sun started to go down. But much to your dismay, your friends bailed on you, even after repaying that they’d be there for you and help you unwind, to de-stress.

You got stood up. By your own good friends who you thought had your back. 

Sighing to yourself, it was too late to give up now. You were already here, so you might as well order a drink. 

Sitting at the bar, you sat up straight on the stool, not paying attention to who was sitting next to you. It didn’t matter. Patiently waiting for the bartender, the sight of someone sitting next to you crosses your peripheral vision. The man’s muscular arms lean against the counter, reaching for a couple of fresh cashews. 

“Hey there, what can I get you?” The bartender asks. 

“Just a whiskey sour, please.” You reply. 

“Got it, and same for you, sir?” He questions, pushing a singular whiskey glass to the person to your right. 

“Yeah, thanks.” The stranger replies. 

The stranger’s gruff voice takes you by surprise, but you pay him no mind. 

Rolling the coaster in between his fingers, the bartender places your bright whiskey sour in front of you. The refreshing yellow foamy drink is adorned with a lemon swirl and a dried cherry for garnish. Just the sight of it makes a well-deserved smile rise through your lips. Taking a sip of the cold drink, the bartender turns to the back wall with the more expensive bottles of liquor, and passes it to the stranger on your right. 

Getting a glimpse his way, the man finally comes into view. His masculine features take over your attention; the man’s full dark head of hair, beard, and strong jaw seem to put you in a hypnotic state. Glancing towards you, his light hazel eyes gaze into your e/c orbs, providing a somewhat welcoming gaze, however his stern and annoyed expression makes you turn away. 

Returning to your drink, the stranger lowers his arm next to yours, letting you see a freshly lit cigar in his hand. Blowing the smoke away from you, he silently watches you take another swig of your drink before checking the empty text message bubble once again. 

“Rough day?” He asks. 

Sighing into your hands, you jokingly squint your eyes at the stranger, and set your phone down.

“You have no idea. I‘be been craving this damn drink all day.” You reply.

Running your index finger around the rim of the almost empty glass. Smirking, the stranger raises his glass towards yours. 

“Name’s Logan.” He says. 

“I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you Logan.” You answer, clinking your glass with his. 

Finishing your drinks and dinner in a comfortable silence, Logan silently watches you, observing some of your mannerisms that stand out to him. The way you sit perfectly straight, how you wipe your mouth after every bite, and even the outfit you picked for yourself. Your light grey cardigan sits perfectly on your shoulders along with the casual white button-up shirt that was underneath it. The pair of black dress pants and ankle boots make you look professional yet comfortable and he liked that. 

However, this minuscule moment of peace didn’t last long. The scent of strong liquor and the hint of douchebag lingers in the air behind you and Logan. Taking another puff of his cigar, Logan glances your way, warning you to not pay these drunken idiots any attention. 

Polishing off the remainder of your drink, Logan waves for the bartender, and prepares to take your tab. 

“I got it, Logan. Don’t worry about me.” You advise. 

Placing his hand over yours, Logan stops you from using your debit card, motioning to the three men behind you. 

“That’s not what I’m worried about, darlin’.” He warns. 

“You shouldn’t worry about her, man. We can take care of her. We’ll take her off your hands.” One of the drunk men sneers. 

“No thanks, boys. I’m happy where I stand.” You state, looking at Logan, rubbing your fingers over his knuckles. 

Joining you and Logan, the bartender slams his hands on the counter. 

“I told the three of you that you’re not allowed in here! Get out before there’s trouble.” He orders.

“Or what, man? What will you do? We’ve been coming here since… this place opened.” The idiot spurs, stuttering to give a clear answer. 

Blowing off his friends, the young man stumbles to your left side, slipping on the way to nonchalantly lean on the bar, still desperate to impress you. Ignoring him, Logan watches the other two men leave the bar altogether, clearly done with their friend’s shit. 

“Lemme take you out and show you a good time, beautiful. Surely I can do better than the guy on your right. I know I can fuck you better than him.” He explains. 

Not noticing that he’s crossed your personal space line, you instinctively back up into Logan, who’s nearly at his breaking point. 

“Look, bub. She said no. So, take the hint and get the hell out of here. She’s with me.” Logan rebuttals, just as a wave of rage overtakes his voice. 

The sudden sense of feeling claustrophobic creeps out on every single inch of your skin. Glancing down at your hands, you discover that you’re now white-knuckling the edge of the wooden countertop, and Logan begins to ball his fist around his whiskey glass. 

Leaning closer to you, the young man tries once again, and fully crosses the line. 

“Come on, sweetheart. Let me treat you better.” He whispers next to your face. 

Suddenly, you see red. The stranger’s hand touches your mid thigh and you merely fly back on the barstool. 

“Get the fuck off me!” You shout, pushing the man away. 

Within seconds, Logan pushes himself from his own seat, and grabs the young man by his hoodie. Punching the man in the face, he falls to the floor with a streak of blood leaking out of his nose. Wiping his nose, the bartender manages to pull Logan away, before returning to tend to the young man. Tugging Logan closer, he subconsciously wraps his arms around your frame, making sure that you’re out of harm's way. 

“You alright?” He asks in a low whisper.

Silently nodding, the two of you refuse to move, and your hand is still lingering on his chest.

“Yeah, I’m okay.” You answer.

*****

Within seconds of shutting your front door behind you, Logan was on you. Deepening the kiss between you both, you could tell that he wanted more. Pushing you against the door, a growl escapes from Logan as he picks you up and walks into the kitchen. Placing you on the marble countertop, his hands work quickly to rid you of the cardigan on your shoulders.

Gliding his lips down to your neck, you wrap your legs around Logan’s waist. Feeling a small moan escape from your lips, you swore that he might fuck you on the cold countertop. But he wasn’t that rebellious. Tearing his own jacket off, Logan carefully carries you through the apartment and down the hallway to your bedroom.

Sitting you down on the edge of your bed, he momentarily breaks the space between you and lifts your shirt from your body. Tossing it across the room, Logan bends down and takes your face in his hands.

“You sure you want this, darlin’? I don’t want to give you the wrong impression.” Logan advises, gently stroking your cheek.

“I’m sure. I want this with you. And only you.” You consent with a nod. 

Silently nodding, Logan slowly leans in and pulls you in passionately. His kiss is slow and steady, allowing him to relax at this moment. Feeling his heart swell, Logan couldn’t remember the last time someone wanted him in the way that you do.

Discarding the remainder of both of your clothes, you lay down on the comforter, melting into the soft fabric and Logan follows suit. Gripping his broad shoulders, your fingers press into his hot skin as his lips lock onto yours. Trailing his hand down your bare body, Logan’s fingers reach beneath the waistband of your lacy underwear and press against your clit.

Meeting your throbbing folds with his fingertips, you break the kiss and moan into his mouth. Staring into his hazel eyes, his orbs light up, fueling the sensation of your lust. Rubbing circles into your clit, Logan descends your body with a series of longing kisses to each part he passes.

Discarding the fabric from your core, Logan kisses the sensitive skin of each of your thighs, feeling you shake before him. His scruff makes you chuckle as he can hear your heartbeat ringing in his ears. Licking your folds, your breath hitches in the back of your throat as you watch Logan become more and more mesmerized by you.

“You’re so beautiful, Y/N…” He whispers in the dark.

Connecting his lips with your clit, a moan escapes from your lips. Pushing his tongue past your entrance, Logan holds your hips in place to keep you from squirming. Gripping the thin comforter, you squeeze your eyes shut, unable to handle the heat rising in your face.

Watching you from afar, Logan continues to eat you out in a steady fashion, letting you enjoy the moment. Running your fingers through his thick hair, you can feel a butterfly sensation rising up to your core. Sensing your body working with his, Logan gently squeezes your hips, lifting you just a touch. Tasting your orgasm reaching its end, your toes curl against the bedding and you cum against Logan’s tongue.

Gasping for air, Logan crawls before you, and his entire physique comes to life. His strong muscles and veins don’t frighten you like so many others, but here everything about him brings you comfort. Wrapping your legs around his waist, Logan balances himself over you, still making sure this is what you want.

“I want you, Logan. All of you, I trust you.” You declare, wrapping your arms around him.

Your vow brings the thought of tears to his tortured eyes, knowing that he has truly deserved this moment.

Lovingly holding his face, Logan briefly touches the tip of your nose with his.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” He responds.

“You won’t.” You advise him.

Leaning his forehead against yours, Logan rubs the tip of his cock in time with your folds, sending excitement through his veins. Sliding himself past your entrance, the two of you look at each other, sharing a loving moan. Thrusting his hips together, Logan longs to be deep inside you. He wanted to forget about the world and get lost in you.

Burying his face in your neck, Logan leaves no space between the two of you. Moving in time with his loving thrusts, the sensation of Logan’s manhood against your walls felt like a new stress reliever that you didn’t know you needed. Surrendering to this new wave of euphoria, your fingers run along the strong muscles along Logan’s back, touching the flexing fibers beneath his hot skin. Sinking deeper into you, Logan finds your sensitive spot, causing you to aggressively scratch his back. 

Clutching the back of his head, the new scars heal within seconds, whilst Logan slightly groans from the light ripple of pain. A burning sensation of heat starts to rise in your core, you could no longer handle the tension, and Logan continues to ride out the remainder of your orgasm in pure awe of you. Gasping for air, Logan surrounds his arms around your body, and rolls the two of you on your sides. 

Pressing his forehead on yours, Logan’s warmth cascades over you, giving you a blanket of warmth in the cool room. Shifting in his arms, he gently runs his fingers through your hair, just as you trace his dimples. 

“Well, thank you for a very interesting night, Logan.” You whisper. 

Smiling, the two of you share a loving laugh together, and Logan pulls the comforter over you, succumbing to the warmth beneath the blanket. 

wolverine taglist ~

@dreamliners

@miss1sarcasmo

@yellow-eyed-sams-wife

@lost-in-horrorland

@peterparkernotfound

@pcrushinnerd

@foursthemagicknumber

[senascoop]

☁︎ . , WHAT'S AFTER LIKE? . . 엔하이펜 ☁︎

ꣀ꣒ things #ENHYPEN does to embarrass you

mean enhypen ! × embarrassed female ! reader : : fluff + established relationship : : m.list

♫︎ REBLOGS + FEEDBACKS ARE ALWAYS APPRECIATED

. , LEE HEESEUNG ☁︎ 이희승 !

Heeseung is just, well, Heeseung—playful, sweet, and a little too good at embarrassing you. He adores your laugh, finding it both cute and amusing, and he can’t help but imitate it at every chance he gets. At the dinner table with your mutual friends, he lets out a loud, exaggerated "Hahaha!" that perfectly mimics your unique laugh. Your eyes widen, cheeks flushing red as everyone’s attention turns to the two of you. “Heeseung, stop,” you mutter, nudging him lightly with your elbow, but he’s already caught up in his antics, repeating the laugh with a cheeky grin. He laughs even harder, clearly enjoying how flustered you are. “I can’t help it, babe. Your laugh is just too cute!” he teases, squeezing your hand under the table.

read rest of the members below !

. , P.JS/JAY ☁︎ 박종성 !

Jay’s made it his mission to finish your sentences in the most dramatic way possible, especially when you’re in the middle of a conversation with others. You’re out with friends, recounting a story about your recent mishap at work. “And then I said to my boss—” you start, only for Jay to cut in with a deep, overly dramatic voice, “—‘I CAN HANDLE IT, NO PROBLEM AT ALL!’” You shoot him a look, but Jay just grins, clearly pleased with himself. Your friends burst into laughter, while you try to compose yourself, cheeks heating up. “Jay, seriously?” you groan, but he just winks at you, unfazed. “What? I’m just helping you tell the story with a bit more flair,” he says, nudging your shoulder.

. , S.JY/JAKE ☁︎ 심재윤 !

Jake loves his nicknames for you—maybe a little too much, especially when he knows it makes you blush in front of others. You’re shopping at the mall together, casually browsing through racks of clothes when Jake spots you struggling with a decision. “What do you think, babe?” you ask, holding up two dresses for him to see. Jake smiles, but instead of answering, he decides to turn up the embarrassment level. “Hmm, I don’t know, my little sugar plum fairy princess,” he says loudly, drawing curious glances from the people nearby. Your eyes widen, and you quickly glance around. “Jake, keep it down!” you hiss, feeling your face heat up as you try to shush him. But Jake is having none of it. “Why, my precious snuggle muffin? You know I love when you’re all flustered,” he teases, giving you a cheeky grin.

. , PARK SUNGHOON ☁︎ 박성훈 !

One of his favorite tactics is showing off old, less-than-flattering photos of you—usually the ones you wish would just disappear. It’s a casual gathering at your place, with some of your mutual friends. You’re busy preparing snacks when you suddenly hear Sunghoon's voice from behind you, “Hey guys, look what I found!” Your heart sinks as you turn around to see Sunghoon grinning, holding up his phone with an old photo of you. It’s one from a few years ago—a particularly awkward phase where you were experimenting with a questionable hairstyle and had a goofy expression. “Sunghoon, no!” you protest, rushing over to grab the phone from him, but he’s too quick, holding it just out of your reach. “Aw, come on, isn’t she adorable?” he teases, flipping through a few more equally embarrassing photos, much to your horror. Your friends are laughing, but it’s all good-natured fun, even if you feel your cheeks burning.

. , KIM SUNOO ☁︎ 김수누 !

You’re out at a café with Sunoo and a group of your mutual friends. Everything is going smoothly until Sunoo decides it’s the perfect moment to share a story about your shared inside joke. “So, remember that time we were at the amusement park and you were too scared to go on the roller coaster?” Sunoo starts, grinning as he looks at you. “You said you’d rather face a herd of wild animals than go on it!” You feel your face flush as the group bursts into laughter. It’s a funny story, but it’s one that you thought was private and only for the two of you to laugh about. “Sunoo, stop,” you say, trying to cover your face with your hands as you feel the heat rise. “It’s not that funny.”

. , YANG JUNGWON ☁︎ 양정원 !

Jungwon has a knack for turning the simplest moments into grand gestures, often leaving you blushing and slightly embarrassed. You’re at a café with Jungwon, enjoying a quiet date. As the barista brings over your coffee, Jungwon suddenly decides to make a big show of his affection. He stands up, grabs your hand, and exclaims, “I just have to say, my favorite person in the world is sitting right here with me!” The other patrons glance over, some smiling, others trying to stifle their laughter. You can feel your face heating up as Jungwon continues, “She’s the most amazing person, and I’m so lucky to be with her.” Despite your attempts to shush him or pull your hand away, Jungwon just keeps going, completely oblivious to your growing embarrassment.

. , N.RK/NIKI ☁︎ 리키 !

Niki finds immense joy in teasing you, and he takes it to another level by making one of your most awkward selfies his phone wallpaper. You’re lounging in Niki’s room, casually scrolling through your phone, when you glance at his phone resting on the coffee table. You turn to Niki, who’s lounging on the sofa, scrolling through his own phone. “Niki,” you begin, your voice filled with disbelief. “Why is my most embarrassing selfie your wallpaper?” He glances up, trying to stifle his laughter, but the mischievous sparkle in his eyes is unmistakable. “What? That old thing?” he replies nonchalantly. “I thought it was hilarious!” Your cheeks flush with heat as you cross the room to grab the phone, but Niki grabs it first, holding it out of your reach. “Come on, it’s just a funny picture,” he insists, his grin widening. “Every time I see it, I think of how cute you look even when you’re being silly.”

tag list :: @moonpri, @iconchae

© senascoop | tumblr

[f1daydreamers]

𝐀 𝐖𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐫 𝐓𝐰𝐨 [𝐋𝐒𝟏𝟖]

photo credits: Pinterest

Pairing: Lance Stroll x Fem!Reader

Summary: Asking the driver of the team you work for to attend a wedding with you as your fake date is possibly one of the dumbest ideas you’ve had ever.. but also one of the best.

Warnings: fluff, friends to lovers romance also fake dating trope so we’re going all in baby

A/N: I love this man, this man is very underrated and this is going to be a mini-series, probably 7/8 parts but we’ll see how it goes

Word Count: 1.7k (7 minutes reading time avg)

…

Lance oddly glances over your face, definitely dumbfounded by your ask.

Trying to persuade one of the two drivers for the team that you work for, that going as your pretend date to your brother’s wedding was quite possibly the weirdest favour you could ask of anyone.

You tilt your head, reasoning with him. “Whatever you need, I will do it and I’ll do it to the best of my ability.”

He hums, “I don’t need anything.”

You inhale through your nose, “I’ll wash your race suit and even bring it to the remaining.. 20 races."

With pursed lips, he appears untempted by your proposal.

“Okay, then I’ll do all your laundry, not just your race suit.” You say.

“There’re people in the team who do that anyway?” You sigh, leaning your elbows on the table.

“I’ll clean your driver’s room, after every practice session, after every qualifying, and after every race.”

He feigns offence, “my room is very neat for your information.”

You scoff, not wanting to but getting all the more closer to giving up.

“Then do this for me as a friend, you just said you had nothing to do between now and Baku anyway.” You countered, pointing an accusing finger at him.

Lance smiles slightly. “It’s a massive favour Y/N, I can’t just drop all my plans.”

You half-frowned, knowing he had a point. “Look, the moment I set my phone down, I know my mum would’ve been rounding up all the bachelors from here to Canada.”

He laughed and you smiled, though you were pretty sure your mum really was doing so.

“Have you asked anyone else?” He questioned, out of sheer curiosity on why you came to him first.

“No I haven’t, should I?”

“I don’t know.” His answer makes you groan, “one weekend Lance.”

There was a shift of emotion in his face and you jumped at the opportunity to try and make it as convincing for him as possible, “one or two photos, my dad loves racing so tell him about Bahrain. I have a nephew who’s into motorcycles so talk away about them.”

“With an 8 year old?” You blinked at him, “I admit the conversations may not be enthralling but toy motorcycles really get his gears turning.”

The F1 driver weighs out the pros and cons of your request, circling the rim of his glass with the tip of his index finger.

His eyes flicker to your pleading expression, your fingernails digging into the underside of your chin, your hands brought together in a praying gesture.

“Is a weekend with me going to be that horrible?” You inquire.

“No,” he admits, casually falling back on to his chair and crossing his arms over his chest. “I was never going to say no, I just wanted to see how far you’d go.”

He grins cockily and you reach over to slap his arm which he manages to pull away from in time.

…

The few days after the Australian race, you'd been hammered by your parents and your siblings, on who the mystery boy was. It was pretty well known that they'd meet him at some point next weekend but that obviously wasn't reason enough for them to stop asking every question under the sun about him.

When the build to that weekend officially began, you prayed that it would pass smoothly, you'd tell a few little white lies along the way and should they ever ask about him following the wedding, you and Lance would've been peacefully broken up by then.

Easy.

"Oh gosh, here we go." You lower your head to your lap while Lance takes a single sip from his champagne glass, setting it down on the coaster.

You knew bumping into a relative who asked a million and one questions during the rehearsal would be a given so you'd prepared your 'date' as best you could.

You instinctively reach for his hand, settling the palm of yours on the back of his. He's slightly disconcerted at the contact but doesn't move an inch, he glances at you sat on the seat besides him as you do the same.

You release a shaky sigh, "my sister's going to interrogate you like she's trying to put the FBI to shame. You remember what I told you right?" You ask quietly.

He nods faintly, "yeah, of course I do." He assures you.

You muster a sincere smile before retracting your hand from his and allowing it to fall on to your lap again. You then rub your palms on your thighs and stand up to embrace her.

Lance straightened on his chair, allowing your sister to approach the table before he followed your movements. You swallow when his hand rests on your lower back, but you reminded yourself it was just a part of the act.

It was amusing in hindsight how you'd pleaded, borderline begged, for him to be your pretend boyfriend for a weekend but you hadn't actually thought about what that might necessitate.

"Hi!" Your sister was ever the bubbly one who could rave about her passions for days while remaining oblivious to the other person's lack of interest.

She flung her arms around your neck and brought you in for a hug, to which you chuckled and winded your arms around her back. Lance's hand fell to his side, his gaze falling to his feet.

Once you'd pulled away, she sighed happily then glanced at him expectantly. You cleared your throat and he swiftly turned his head towards you, then at her.

"Dais, this is Lance," you realise he probably needs no further introduction. "Lance, this is my sister, Daisy."

He gives her a genuine smile, taking her hand that she holds out as a formal introduction. "Is this the boyfriend I messaged you a million times about?"

You scoff with a smile, feeling his eyes fall to your face, as if he was watching for something. "Yep, in the flesh." He swallows, nodding.

She gasps, pointing a finger towards him and you panic for a moment, if there was a single hidden talent your sister had, it was putting two and two together at record speed.

Luckily, Lance remained unphased despite the stark contrast between yours and his tension levels.

"You're the F1 driver Dad was telling us about, the one with the broken wrists." She announced loudly, though it was only a surprise to her.

"That's my reputation I guess." He comments, turning his head to your side, directing it at you. You smile, continuing to fidget with your two intertwined hands.

But he confirms it nonetheless, "that's me."

"Wow, F1. Must be cool having the girl you date at the garage for every race." He gave her a polite smile, not knowing how to continue the conversation.

“It has its perks.” You agree with him, not vocally saying what those supposed perks were.

“What kind of perks?” Your sister asked craftily and you sigh, dismissing her question.

“Behave, now go and find Kev, we want to congratulate him.” As your baby sister, with a huff, she agreed and sauntered off elsewhere.

“She’s nice.” You hummed, turning your body to Lance’s so your back was facing the crowd of people that would occasionally glance in your direction.

“She’s one of many,” He smiled, seeing the deflation on your face form when you realised this was going to be a very long weekend of lying.

“Regretting it?” You meet his eyes, he meets yours. “No. Just wondering if it was the best decision.”

“One question less, 20 more in its place.” You chuckle knowing he was referring to the inevitable question on where your date was had you not brought one, but because you had, it was flipped on its head.. then multiplied.

“Should I apologise for bringing you here now?”

“How bad are they?” He asks.

“Enough.”

…

"I haven't seen anything about you two online, considering you're famous and all." Your words remained stuck in your throat as you scrambled to try and find an answer for it in your head, Lance chuckled a little nervously.

"We keep it on the down low, trying to navigate through a relationship while being in the spotlight has its own challenges." You looked up at him and gave him a sympathetic look, a doubtful smile on your lips.

You turned back to your mum who hummed, almost with a certain distaste in her tone, a sour look on her face which you really weren't in the mood for. She was never fond of the guys you 'picked' for yourself, but instead the male specimen she spoke to once were going to be your Prince Charming, God forbid you ever went against that.

"Look, me and Lance are a little jet-lagged so can we carry this on sometime else?" You gave her a pointed look and she took the hint, though not without shooting you a knowing glance.

"Well, your room's all ready for you at home." She says.

Home. You hadn't heard that word from your mother's lips for some time, having moved away and working everywhere in the world, it was rare you found time to go and see your family.

"Thanks mum." She kissed you on the cheek before walking away, ignoring Lance's existence entirely. Your shoulders slumped once her attention had turned towards your brother and his soon-to-be wife, whom you'd already congratulated.

He exhales through his nose and you lift your eyes up to his face, "Okay, getting slightly worse." You shake your head, your fingers coming up to pinch the bridge of your nose. At this point, you were wishing for the night to be over.

By the time the night is coming to its eventual end, you and Lance had managed to convince most people with your act of being a couple. That entailed a lot of hand-holding and lovesick smiles but you'd pulled it off, a little too well.

With his hand splayed out on your thigh, your hand was wrapped around his bicep. Along with every little gesture and movement, there was a fresh wave of goosebumps forming on your skin. You didn't think Lance knew that he was stroking his thumb along the fabric of your leggings.

"We should get some sleep," You turned your head to him and he looked down at you, his attention turning away from the current conversation your sister had everyone tuned into.

"Ready when you are." He added and minutes later, you and Lance were leaving the table, a few of your folks extending their fair shares of goodbyes and nice to meet you's to him.

...

Part 2

Masterlist

Comment if you want to be tagged in the next part!

[gravity-barbie]

Reuniting with Five Hargreeves HCS

Request: can I request headcanons of when five gets back he sees gifts under his portrait and finds out that his favorite sibling (reader) missed him a lot and got him a birthday present every year

Masterlist

-It was no secret that most people found Five hard to get along with, but you were never one of them, as arrogant and tactless as he could be, you saw past that and were probably the only person who understood how devoted to the family he truly was

-So while in time your other siblings were able to let him go, you held on to his memory as tightly as you knew he’d do to yours, even as it became increasingly likely that that was all he’d ever be, a memory

-Birthdays were an awful occasion without him, probably the one day a year his absence weighed on you the most

-He had never cared too much about them, but he knew you did, so he had always carefully chosen you a present, and put on as much enthusiasm as someone like him could manage when you gave him his

-So as pointless as it was, when the first birthday without him rolled around, you couldn’t bare the the thought of not getting him anything, and from there it turned into a yearly ritual, long after you moved out, every year you’d return to the academy for one day to drop something new off under his portrait

-It kind of turns into a coping mechanism and you figure Five would probably call you deluded for it but nowadays you’d do anything to hear one of those casually cruel remarks of his

-News of your fathers death doesn’t hit you half as hard as Five’s absence did, but you dutifully go back for the funeral, actually glad to see your other siblings again, though some of them are a little concerned to see how little you’ve moved on after all this time

-But your refusal to let him go, of course pays off in the most unexpected way imaginable when an old and baby-faced Five shows back up and puts you on an emotional roller coaster

-It’s a little crushing when he barely gives you a second glance before getting down to business, and you’re left working around the clock trying to get him to slowdown and talk to you

-Seeing his portrait, and more specifically the clutter beneath it is the first thing that makes him hesitate and say something that isn’t about doomsday

-He tries to stay calm but the angst is obvious on his face as you explain why you’ve been doing this and how much you missed him

-his heart breaks to hear the pain you were in, though he’d be lying to say he didn’t feel something like relief to learn that at least one of his siblings may of missed him as much as he missed you all

-Even though you have him at his absolute softest, he still doesn’t open the presents, not wanting the distraction, but he thanks you and tells you he missed you too

-He also makes a mental note to catch up and get you something for all the birthdays he missed if he ever gets a day off from dealing with the apocalypse

[hurlingsupport]

Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous (Gender Neutral Reader Insert)

Chapter 3: Secrets

<- Previous Next ->

You covered your nose in disgust, though it did nothing to protect you from the stench in front of you. What the hell did those three do last night that required a punishment such as this?

“Enjoy cleaning this up, boys,” Roxie said, throwing shovels into both of their arms. What confused you more was the fact that Brooklynn wasn’t being punished. Curiosity burned within you, but the thought of asking her about it was like a cold bucket of water. That curious flame died out quicker than it was lit.

Your eyes turned to Ben briefly as he gagged. No matter what happened, you were just glad you decided not to take part. Kenji may call you a loser, but who’s the one shoveling dinosaur poop? Not you, that’s for sure.

“We’re going to the genetics lab,” Roxie finished, walking away from the revolting sight the group currently stood by. As she walked, the rest of the group followed. Except for Brooklynn, who stayed behind a bit to take a photo of the unfortunate fate the two boys were suffering.

Darius sent you a sad look, one of which you returned with a dead stare. It wasn’t your fault he was impatient. If he had waited just one night, he’d be on his way to see some baby dinosaurs. Darius’s stare broke as Dave threw something towards him.

“Cologne.” He specified, “That’ll help with the smell. And the ladies! What-what?”

He casually put an arm on the truck behind him. “But mostly the smell. The stench of dinosaur poo can really linger.”

Darius attempted to say something, but the sound of the engine drowned his voice out. His figure quickly disappeared as the vehicle sped off.

Brooklynn scoffed, “Ugh. I’m still dropping followers?” She read a comment aloud. “‘When are we gonna see cool stuff?’”

“Chill, dude. I just got here.” She huffed, slouching in her seat.

“So, when’s your next video?” Sammy interjected. “Ooh, maybe there’s baby dino eggs in the lab. Everyone loves a baby video!”

Brooklynn looked at her phone with newfound determination. “Whatever it is, it’ll be cool.”

You furrowed your brows at Ben as he hummed. He was slapping sanitizer onto his arms like it was lotion, like a weirdo. It seems you weren’t the only one disturbed as he quickly paused his humming to stare back at Yasmina.

He immediately defended himself. “Sanitizer. Who knows what kind of creepy dino goo is at that lab?”

He poured an unhealthy amount onto his leg. “Gotta be ready for anything. The world is a grab-bag of gross, and we’re all just along for the moist, sticky roller coaster ride called life.” He finished as he rubbed the sanitizer into his leg. He really was treating it as if it were lotion.

Despite that, Yasmina seemed to believe his paranoid speech and poured some into her hands as well. And while you weren’t scared necessarily, you followed in her footsteps. She was probably one of the few you really respected here.

You grimaced at Ben’s groaning once he massaged even more sanitizer into his neck. Thankfully, Brooklynn took your attention off him by starting another one of her videos.

“What’s good, Brooklanders? Today, I’m coming to you from one of Jurassic World’s coolest remote genetics labs!”

The surrounding equipment trilled as you entered.

“It’s so shiny in here!” Sammy gasped

You couldn’t lie about how excited you were to be here. After all, you were a pretty big fan of dinosaurs. It was a dream to be in the place where they bring dinosaurs to life.

“This is a rare window into the park’s inner workings.” Roxie began to monologue. “Not just anyone can come here, you know.”

Dave stood proudly, hands on his hips. “Yep, this is where the magic happens.”

“Doc Wu-Wu!” He suddenly shouted, pumping his fist.

The doctor in question slowly turned as Dave continued blabbering. This didn’t end until Roxie ordered him to stop.

Your attention drifted as the supposed adults continued their conversation. Honestly, with how old Dave seemed to be, you’d think he’d be more mature than the kids he was in charge of.

Ignoring your growing annoyance, you instead surveyed the genetics lab. Surrounding you were shelves full of amber, a fossilized mosquito occupying each one.

That’s right, these scientists originally brought back dinosaurs from the blood left inside a fossilized mosquito, didn’t they? It still amazed you now, as it did when they first announced it. You remember sitting on your couch, your eyes rereading the article on your laptop until you were sure what you were seeing was right.

“Young lady, no recording in the lab,” Doctor Wu addressed Brooklynn, a hand on her shoulder.

Oh right, you’re in a dinosaur lab. Enough memories for now. This was something you couldn’t take for granted.

Brooklynn immediately went to defend herself, with Wu clearly not fully paying attention. At least until Brooklynn mentioned how she simply wanted her followers to meet the genius behind Jurassic World. Obviously, it was a ploy to get permission to record in the lab, but it seemed convincing enough for Doctor Wu.

And that’s how you got here, with Doctor Wu going on an interesting rant about the genetics lab of Jurassic World.

Sammy cuts in as she notices a random eyeball lying on one of the lab tables. “Woah! Eyeball!” She makes an ‘ooh’ sound when a scientist nudges it with a tool.

You couldn’t comprehend why they needed an eyeball, but then again, you weren’t in this camp because you were a scientist now, were you?

At least it was a little entertaining when Ben audibly shuddered. His hands held to his chest as if the separated body part would reach out and grab a hold of him if he didn’t keep them in place.

Sammy explored around the lab, asking questions left and right yet never allowing Doctor Wu to answer them before interrupting him with the next one.

“You guys, look!” Dave called the group over. “Oh, I think one of these eggs is about to hatch.”

“That’s not possible.” Doctor Wu says as he comes closer, confusion lacing his words.

Everyone gathers around the incubator, watching as a singular egg gains more and more cracks.

Yasmina gasps, “Is that a tail?”

A large egg piece falls from the source and baby dinosaur goo lands directly on Ben’s shirt. You muffle your giggles with your hand as he shouts in disgust.

“Get it off me! Get it-” Ben abruptly pauses.

The baby dinosaur is now fully visible, the only egg piece left laying on its head. As it attempts to push the piece off with its feet, it ends up flinging itself backwards. Luckily, Ben catches it before it ends up on the ground.

This surprises you. Isn’t he a total germaphobe?

Ben gently sets it back onto the incubator, taking the egg piece of the baby’s head while doing so. The baby dinosaur squeals, and you’re now sure it’s an Ankylosaurus.

As if a switch flipped, Ben coos at the baby despite his hands being covered in goo.

“One of its head bumps is bigger than the other!” Brooklynn remarks, her camera recording the baby.

You lean over Ben’s shoulder to get a closer look, him tensing briefly. Brooklynn was right, which confused you. Seeing as they made these dinosaurs in a lab, organic mistakes like this shouldn’t be possible.

This is further proved when Doctor Wu walks over to the group surrounding the baby. “Asymmetry? In my lab?”

“She’s so… tiny.” Ben remarks. She was about the exact size of his hands, which was obvious in the fact he only needed one to hold her.

“But she won’t stay tiny for long, right?” Roxie looks to Doctor Wu, who stood behind Brooklynn, Ben and you.

“That’s the idea.” Doctor Wu comes closer, taking a better look at the baby dinosaur. “All the dinosaurs go through an accelerated growth cycle.”

That would explain why they always had dinosaurs ready to be on display. They didn’t have to wait years for them to grow.

“They’re supposed to incubate for 13 weeks with no noticeable defects,” Wu continued. “But apparently this one slipped through.”

Your eyes caught onto Brooklyn sneaking away. You weren’t a snitch, so you did nothing other than give her a questioning gaze. She didn’t seem to notice.

When her figure disappeared, you turned your attention back to the baby Ankylosaurus. It was now rolling about on the incubator. Ben’s hands hovered over the baby, ready to catch it again if it were to roll off.

As it squealed, you couldn’t help but smile. Who knew that baby dinosaurs were so cute?

“Do you wanna hold it?” Ben suddenly asked. You briefly thought of saying yes. This baby was just too cute not to at least consider it. However, one thing was holding you back.

“No, it still has egg goop on it.” You brought a finger up to its shiny head, rubbing gently. Ben didn’t seem to mind your answer. It was clear by the way he brought it up to his face. He couldn’t get enough of this dinosaur.

“Well, that’s it, Ben. Looks like you live here now.” Roxie teased.

Doctor Wu immediately shattered the light-hearted mood when he stormed in, dragging Brooklynn behind him. “Time for you all to leave.”

“Hey!” Brooklynn scoffed as he pushed her.

“Clearly, this group has no respect for my lab.”

Ben instantly brought up the baby dinosaur, who he seemed to have named Bumpy.

While he asked about what they’d do with it, your eyes drifted back towards the incubator. The egg shells left by the baby dinosaur caught your eyes.

You remembered how your group left Kenji and Darius behind to clean a pile of dinosaur waste. You couldn’t care less about Kenji’s disappointment in the punishment. He completely deserved it. Darius, on the other hand…

He likes dinosaurs. No, actually he loves them. You could tell by the way he acted. His hands would ball into fists, and he couldn’t seem to stay grounded. He wanted to see some dinosaurs so badly he made an entire plan to sneak out to do so. And it ended up going terribly, that much you could tell.

Which is why you were stuffing the Ankylosaurus egg shells into your pocket.

You didn’t feel bad, really! There was no reason to! Darius did something stupid, and he’s getting punished for it. It’s how it should go. But you can’t help but feel like he deserved some slack. Especially with Kenji influencing him.

So you’re definitely not doing this because you feel bad for Darius. You’re doing this because, hey, who doesn’t want some dinosaur egg shells? Definitely the reason.

Dave’s voice catches your attention. “Let’s hit the road. We are not wanted here!” He says sheepishly.

Doctor Wu ended up taking back the Ankylosaurus. Or Bumpy, as Ben had named her. Though that was to be expected, you can’t exactly keep a baby dinosaur in the camp. Despite that, Ben still seems pretty bummed out about it.

Once you’re all seated in the jeep, it speeds off. You catch Ben staring at the floor of the trunk. You offer him a simple pat on the back, as you’re not sure what else to do. He smiles a bit in return, so you consider it comfort worthy.

“Hey guys!” Darius shouts once the jeep pulls in where they left them. Weirdly, they were out of breath.

Roxie voiced your curiosity. “Why are you two so out of breath?”

“Just doing the job we’re told.” Darius answered, though you’re sure that wasn’t entirely it. “How was the field trip?”

“Oh, well, um, Ben fell in love with a dinosaur,” you grinned at Yasmina’s words. “And Super Star here got us booted from the lab.”

“That is not what happened!” she defensively shouted.

Sammy changed the subject. “How’d poop patrol go?”

“Uh…” Darius stilled at her words, the shovel he was holding almost falling from his grip.

“Awesome!” Kenji interjected. “You all should’ve seen how I owned-”

“This valuable experience!” Darius cut in. “Um, learned a lot about ourselves and, uh… yep!” He smiled.

It was awkwardly silent for a moment until Roxie got a whiff of their stench. “Well then, hit the showers. And maybe stay in there for a while?”

“Use soap.” Ben added as the jeep drove off. “Lots of soap!”

And that was the end of the genetics lab ordeal.

Later that night, your self acclaimed dino-buddy is talking up a storm with you. Or more like asking. He even invited himself onto your bed! At least he showered. You didn’t want his previous poop cleaning stench to wear off on you.

“A baby Ankylosaurus hatched while you guys were there? What the heck!?” He held his head in his hands.

As expected, it befuddled Darius that so much cool stuff happened while you all were at the lab. You also thought he’d be more jealous than he is about your entire dinosaur experience.

This just further convinced you he and Kenji were up to some odd dinosaur business before your group came back.

Talking about the baby Ankylosaurus reminded you of something else that you had forgotten. You shoved a hand into your pocket, feeling the shells. Your face burned as you thought of bringing up your little gift.

“And you said it had asymmetrical horns, right? Man, I wish-”

“You don’t have to.” You randomly interrupted.

Darius paused his ramblings and looked up at you, brow raised in confusion.

“Wish, I mean. You don’t have to wish.” You fumbled with your words. This was new to you. Your brows furrowed in frustration as you thought of what to say next.

You grabbed the eggshells from your pocket and forced them into Darius’s hands.

“It’s gross, I know. But it was the only thing I could take without messing up lab progress or whatever.” You paused, looking up at Darius’s expression. Upon seeing his still figure, you continued anxiously.

“Actually, you don’t even have to keep them. It’s weird that I kept those in my pocket. I should’ve left them in the lab. You can-”

Your anxious words cut off as Darius suddenly lunged at you. Your first instinct was to pull him off you, but as his arms wrapped around your torso, you realized he was only hugging you.

Oh.

He was hugging you.

“This has got to be the coolest gift I’ve ever gotten!” He said excitedly.

When he pulled back, you saw his happiness. Not only in his smile but also in the crinkle under his eyes and the dimples on his cheeks.

And though he ducked his head as he inspected the pieces you did your best to keep from breaking within the confines of your pocket, you saw something else.

You saw Darius.

[simlicious]

My game recommendations

I had a reblog in my drafts folder for a couple of days to keep working on it and when I was done I saw that the original poster sadly deactivated reblogs on their post. They lovingly suggested that simmers should indulge in other games too, and I couldn't agree more. It is a special feeling to dive into a new game, learn new mechanics, and have a very different experience from the last game you played. I really put a lot of work into my answer, so I decided to make a new post for it.

I'm a simmer and a gamer (simming since 2000), gaming since 1994 or so. I used to play Everquest II way back when and dabble in Elder Scrolls Online but I quit for Baldur's Gate III which has me obsessed for months now, highly enjoyable. Sims 3 has fallen a few steps on my top 10 list in recent years, but I use it as a creative outlet anyway and do not tend to judge it against other games much. I do judge Sims 4 though, which is a sad state of affairs. I can have fun in it if I spend the time in CAS, or for the first 6 hours in a new expansion - but it's just too expensive for its little value, especially compared to other games on this list.

City Builder/Automation games:

Factory Town: super chill cozy vibe, automate logistics for your pixel-people town. Lovely game

Timberborn: build a town for cute beavers!

Farthest Frontier: a nice city simulation with some logistics and events such as raiders invading the town

Satisfactory: one of the most ambitious automation games, with amazing graphics, for people who like to puzzle, analyze/calculate, and really use their heads while gaming. I like to play it as a challenge and see how far I can take my spaghetti conveyor belts!

Frostpunk: a harrowing/grim atmosphere, dystopian, make hard choices for your town

Simulation games:

Roller Coaster Tycoon and Planet Coaster: I love building super scary rollercoasters and then riding them and trying to get people in the park to ride them too

Strategy games:

Anno 1800: I can spend my entire life in this game it feels, it is engaging and relaxing all at once - love this so much!

Action/adventure games:

Assassins Creed Origins: stunning world, super detailed visuals and fun combat mechanics

Scifi/Exploration

No Man's Sky: At first I thought this was more of a casual game, but prepare for a lot of grinding and long-ish quests. It is fun to discover new plants/creatures and name them!

Survival games:

Raft: great to play with friends too and it has a relaxed vibe but also survival mechanics that keep you engaged

The Long Dark: I love the art style and music so much, the story mode is great, the survival mode can be very challenging depending on settings and it is super immersive. Wrap yourself in a warm blanket to play 😂

Subnautica: my favorite game ever before Baldur's Gate 3 dethroned it! It is a game that will guide you to leave your comfort zone time and time again, but you choose when you feel ready for it. You can really follow your own pace and exploring the vast, beautiful, and terrifying depths of this ocean planet is absolutely immersive and filled with surprise and wonder. It has also very chill and calm base-building elements to counteract the scarier moments. The soundtrack is one of the best in terms of evoking feelings/ building atmosphere, do not turn off the sound while playing this game!!!

Storytelling games:

Life is Strange: a classic, it's fun to explore what we could change and what the consequences would be if we could go back in time.

Firewatch: very emotional and touching, leaving a lasting impression

Casual games:

Bridge Constructor Portal (the dark humor is a bonus, it's fun and trains your analytical thinking!)

Carcassonne (like the tabletop game, chill puzzle game)

Simulacra (you uncover a mystery on a phone, interesting idea!)

Retro Games:

My favorite old/retro game would be Black & White (from 2001), which I played when it originally came out, I loved it so much! The free camera was revolutionary at the time. You play a god who is powered by worshippers whom you can either provide and care for or reign terror over, and your actions decide your alignment, good, neutral, or evil. You get a creature that you can train (and will be more or less useful to your goals or disrupt them depending on how well you train it). IIRC, you can train the creature either in the story mode or sandbox/skirmish mode and then go back to story mode with a stronger creature. The mouse gestures which activate miracles in the air felt like a revolutionary new idea back then. The game is not available officially anymore, but it is downloadable from some abandonware websites and the community-made patches so it is still playable today! Writing this, I had to reinstall it right away... the nostalgia!

RPGs:

Cyberpunk 2077: it's just iconic, the city energy and car drives are nice, the story is interesting and it feels immersive

The Witcher 3: great quests and story, beautifully crafted open world

Baldur's Gate 3: I could also talk for hours about Baldur's Gate 3. If there is one game out there that everyone should have tried once in their life, it's that one. It really lets you try any strategy you want and did not actually expect to work in a video game, but in BG3, it does. Even cheaty ones like pushing enemies from a cliff or using explosives to blow stuff up. If you got surprise-attacked but have no weapon handy, you can throw a grease bottle at the enemy that can make them slip and fall, and then you can throw your burning torch at it to light everything on fire. You can stack boxes to climb up to reach something (or throw a goblin body onto someone's head, because it's perfectly normal to carry those around with you). You can be sneaky and steal stuff, even rewards from enemies. Don't like fighting? You can talk your way out of most fights if your character has the necessary skills and still complete quests that way. 95% of NPCs have something to say, and if you click them again, they will have another line. The narrator is awesome. The companions have so much character, the banter is great and every character has its own story arc and goal, the voice acting is phenomenal all around. Definitely get the talk-to-animals skill and use it on all animals, you'll have hilarious conversations! It's worth every penny, even if it's not on sale (and I hardly ever buy a game at full price, so that is saying a lot). Thanks for reading, I hope you feel inspired to try some new games! Have fun 😊

[horsetailcurlers2]

YET ANOTHER long and obnoxious stream of my thoughts while watching grey’s anatomy for the first time (season 14 because i’m still hanging on by a thread)

-why did megan hunt have a fresh coat of mascara and some lip gloss on when she got flown in with her gaping abdominal wound LMAO

-teddy!!!!!

-i absolutely think they should tell megan about meredith and riggs and let her make an informed decision on whether she wants meredith to be her surgeon. this is greys anatomy, of course there’s gonna be a conflict of interest. they’re making this more complicated than it needs to be.

-somebody tell me when the show stops being worth watching. so far i’m hanging on bc i’m mildly interested in how jo and alex turn out, i want teddy and amelia to interact, and i’ve warmed up to arizona since she broke up with callie. obvi i love meredith i just don’t know how much more they can do with her before i just want her to take a warm bath and retire to somewhere far far away with her children.

-did amelia relapse offscreen???? wtf is going on???

-okay she has a tumor i guess. sure, okay, whatever. !!!!

-she put a gun in her !!!!!!!!! for a man???

-i don’t love the way they’ve introduced the new intern class. they set it up as if we already know them, whereas i feel like with every other class of interns we’ve gotten eased into it a bit more before we’re just tossed into this unfamiliar dynamic

-okay but wait i do like that in this ep w the roller coaster (and the people who are supposed to be baby cristina, george and izzie) they referenced the old intro. i think the writers knew they needed a little nostalgia to hook people back in at this point. jury is still out whether or not it’s working on me.

-maybe i’m stupid but why in the fuck would they have so many important things dependent on one networked computer system. why on earth would cardiac monitors be hackable?????

-idk about maggie/jackson…. seems too incest adjacent

-the casual gaslighting and manipulation with paul stadler is so well written

-“jackson avery, you are such a disappointment, i thought you were woke!!!”

-genuine question: do they just not do chemistry reads on this show when they cast romantic interests???

-*choked up*”right before she died, she told me i should be more slutty. and i just wish i could call her and tell her how slutty i’m being” i really do love maggie

-maybe i missed it but why does carina have an italian accent but andrew doesn’t?

-i like the development of jo and meredith’s relationship

-i think meredith and this firefighter woman should kiss on the mouth

-i like april better now that she’s kind of a mess

-OOH wait does helm have a little crush on meredith bc i’m kind of obsessed with that

-if there’s one thing greys usually kills it with its casting younger versions of characters for flashbacks

-i miss joe the bartender :(

-oh my god he gives them fake cancer so he can charge them for fake chemo?????? what the fuck

-too much of an emphasis on these lesbian cookies…. suspicious

-okay yeah that makes sense. i love this

-nurse olivia!!

-olivia of course has a right to still be upset but it’s a little weird to assume alex didn’t change at all in the past ten years. not to mention it’s weird to act morally superior about it now when she cheated on george with alex

-“if you wanna rebuild you have to tear it down first” bingo

-did i miss amelia getting her own place or is she taking this girl to meredith’s house??

-okay i guess she’s just moved in with owen again. i need to pay better attention lol but so much keeps happening and it’s a lot of mush to sift through

-“meredith grey is straight” “ever hear her talk about cristina yang?” LMAO

-PREGNANT?

[shirohige-pirates]

Birds of a Feather

CisFem Reader x Marco

CW: Violence, blood, language, adult themes and scenes. 18+ only

Summary: Life has not been kind to you. After a string of bad relationships, you're a little jaded and a little depressed in all honestly. The worst day of your life seems to be the turning point, but the roller coaster ride that follows could either throw you soaring free, or have you caged forever?

Tag List: @clumsyraccoon

Chapter 22: Old Flames

The two of you changed into casual clothes and headed for the bookstore café, Cups and Covers. Sadly, Gram wasn’t working, so you couldn’t tease Marco as the two of you got two more cups of coffee.

You spent a good few hours meandering around the shop, flipping through different books and talking idly about what you both enjoyed reading. You picked out calendars for one another for the upcoming year. Something you could both inconspicuously hang up at work, and hopefully have good thoughts about the other for at least as long as the calendar lasts.

Over the course of your visit you ended up having two cups of honey tea as well, and by the end of it all your voice was mostly recovered. Which was a relief for several reasons, first and foremost of which, was that you weren’t sure how effectively you would’ve been able to beg and pout if he insisted on having you take it easy again Sunday.

With a few more books added to the calendars, the two of you left the café.

“Where is Nasugasira?” You question as Marco pulls out of the bookstore lot. You’d heard Sanji talk about the place, but you’d never gone yourself.

“Close to the dock-side carnival.” He explains. “Most of Zeff’s places are catered more toward sailors than islanders.”

“Salty sailors and sassy staff,” you say quoting the advertisements you’d seen for the place. “It’s a teppanyaki place, right?”

“Partially, there’s a pub side, some general seating and teppanyaki tables.” He looks over at you. “Up for a crowd tonight, or?”

“I’d, ah,” you clear your throat. “Just like to be able to talk with you.”

“Greedy, huh?”

You shrug. “Maybe a little.” Slipping your fingers into his, you do your best not to look nearly as flustered as you are. “I just don’t want to listen to strangers ascribe cute couple aspects to us until we’ve sorted most of that out ourselves.”

“Cute couple.” He muses, and you run your free hand down your face even as you feel it heating up.

“I mean, you’re doing most of the heavy lifting for it.” You tease, managing to recover a little faster than you thought. Marco laughs, pulling your hand over and kissing your knuckles.

“So she says,” he muses. “Hey, I was meaning to ask, why’d you pick a giant stuffed pineapple, yoi?”

“I refuse to say.” You say hastily, looking away before he can see anything on your face.

“That just makes me more curious.”

“I’m sure it does.” You admit without offering anything more.

Marco’s fingers slip free of yours, and he starts walking his fingers up your arm. It’s a simple action, but just like at the carnival, you can feel the warmth of his fingers more acutely than you should be able to with a long-sleeved shirt on. It wasn’t an unpleasant sensation, but it was entirely unfair.

“I won’t laugh,” he muses, fingers slowly stepping their way up to your shoulder. “Or get mad, yoi.”

“I, I didn’t think you’d get mad,” you admit, pressing your lips together as those long fingers tug a little at your shirt collar, teasing your skin idly. “It was… purely functional.”

Marco’s fingers freeze. “Functional?”

You put both of your hands over your face. “It can be used as a pillow, or I could snuggle it and since I can’t snuggle you every night, it just… seemed pra-practical.”

“… Alright.” You can hear it in his voice and turn toward him to see his ears and neck red.

“… Why’d you ask?” You question after a moment’s pause.

You can see the monumental struggle on his face. You twine your fingers through his and a small embarrassed chuckle escapes him.

“It’s my favorite food, yoi.”

“I’d say what are the odds, but it was either that or the monkey plushie, and the jester hat on it just wasn’t doing it for me.” You admit, giving his hand a squeeze. “But, thank you.”

“For?”

“I mean, knowing it’s your favorite food makes it, um… y’know… nice.”

The car ride quiets until you make it to the restaurant, the two of you simmering in your own thoughts. It isn’t until Marco reaches across himself with his left hand to put the car in park that you realize you hadn’t let go of his hand.

“Ah, sorry, I-.” you mumble, and Marco’s grip on your hand tightens a little as he undoes his seat belt and leans over, pulling you toward him for a kiss. “I…”

Blue eyes shift from your lips to your eyes. You can see the smile slip along his lips, and it only causes your sputtering brain to falter more. You turn your head away, covering your face.

“I feel like a teenager.” It’s half a statement and half a grumble, but you squeeze his hand when you say it and hear the soft chuckle escape him.

“Me too, yoi.” He admits, and when you turn back toward him he pulls you in again, kissing you almost desperately. Leaning into it, you bring your hand up to his face and feel the soft, contented moan bubble up in him and slip into the kiss.

You start to lean back, and Marco leans forward, chasing after one more kiss. You smile even as he kisses you, and are getting ready to admonish him when the car horn goes off and causes you to squeak and Marco to flinch.

“Oops.” He manages before he leans back and laughs softly. “Sorry about that, yoi.”

You laugh, a mix of nerves and need and a little more nerves honestly. “No, it’s fine. Teenagers.” You muse as the two of you get out of the car and head into Nasugasira. “You’re kind of a menace, you know that?”

Marco raises his brows questioningly, opening the door for you. “Oh?”

“I remember, very clearly, being calm and collected, and not at all… twitterpated.”

“I don’t think that’s my fault,” he teases, before looking up at the hostess. “Two please, general booth seating.”

“Certainly, right this way,” she replies, grabbing two menus and sets of cutlery before guiding the two of you back to an open booth. “Here you are, and your server will be with you shortly.”

“It has to be your fault.” You continue as you open the menu to look over it. “The only thing that’s changed in my life is you waltzing into it all smooth an’ suave and good lookin’ like you own the place.”

He laughs, hand over his mouth as your server comes up to the table. You get drinks ordered and Marco puts in for an appetizer before you both return to your menus.

“Don’t know what to say to that, do you?” You question, looking up from your menu for a second to appreciate the red slipping across his cheeks.

“I do not, yoi.” He admits, keeping his eyes on the menu.

“Ah, finally, a point.” You declare quietly.

“A point?”

“Yes, I’ve finally flustered you enough you don’t have a comeback.” You explain, straightening up in the booth and trying to look all confident. “Took me long enough.”

“If it’s like that, I’ll just have to try harder.” He muses and you nearly whimper.

“Please don’t.” You lift your menu up and pointedly hide behind it.

“You’re asking me to go easy on you then?” He questions and you hang your head in defeat before lowering your menu.

“Going after a person’s pride,” you reply, sticking out your tongue. “I’m not-.”

“Ah! Marco! You rotten old pineapple, how’re you doing?” A tanned man with shockingly deep red hair, and some scars over his eye, walks over to your table. A loose white shirt, some brown slacks and flip-flops. He looks more sailor than islander, but you can’t figure out how he can be warm in so little, until you notice the dark amber drink in his hand. He notices you as you notice him and gives you a bit of a smile.

“Oh, pardon me miss, I saw my, uh, old friend here and seems I’ve intruded a bit.”

“Yes, you have // Oh that’s alrigh-.” Marco and you speak up at the same time, and you let your words trail off. In all the time you’ve known him, this is the first time his usually neutral voice doesn’t sound completely neutral.

“Ah, see, she’s fine with it.” He grins, and you wish you could shove your words back into your mouth, but you get the impression he would’ve found a way around Marco’s words anyway. “It’s been years, how’ve you been?”

“I’m doing well, yoi.” Marco replies flatly, and he starts to say something else but the man turns toward you.

“Ah, my manners are awful, forgive me Miss. Name’s Shanks, are you a coworker of - no wait, it’s Saturday night, right? Oh, the old bird’s finally moved on? Good, good.” He reaches out and is shaking your hand. You mutter your name in response, but you’re not really sure what to say.

It feels like if you tell him to buzz off he’ll find a way to dodge the action itself until he’s said his fill, and Marco’s demeanor isn’t hostile. It would sour the evening if you said something only to make things worse. It feels a bit like having some kind of natural disaster shimmy up to your booth to tell you how nice your shoes look.

“I didn’t realize you were back in the North.” Marco says evenly. His neutral demeanor is almost completely restored, but there’s no easy smile on his face.

“Ah, yeah, sorry about that. We weren’t planning on being back here for another couple months, but favorable winds and a change in cargo, and here we are.” Shanks grins. “We’ll be in port long enough to swing by for your birthday-.”

“Oi!”

“-party.”

For the first time since he came over to the table, Shanks looks properly admonished, but the expression fades quickly. “She’s going, of course. Of course you are,” he insists, sitting down next to you. “These boys usually just throw one big monthly party for everyone’s birthday that month, right? Cause there’s so damned many of them, but Marco, big brother that he is to everybody, always gets a party just for himself. His brothers basically insist on it. Drives him half-mad, but he can’t argue it because he knows it comes from a place of love.”

Normally you’d be completely irritated by someone just sitting down beside you, prattling on like this, but there was something in Shanks’ tone, his movements, his very demeanor that left you more flustered than irritated. It reminded you a bit of dealing with Marco, only different. More exuberant and filled with bright colors and flourish.

Marco was subtler. Just as impossible to ignore or dislike, but for completely different reasons.

He was also currently slowly losing his cool. You noticed his face in his hands, and weren’t sure entirely what he was thinking right now, but his neutral calm was certainly gone.

“Have you been to one of those yet?” Shanks asks, pulling your attention back to him.

“One of… what?” You blink, having lost the thread of the conversation for the moment.

“One of the big monthly birthday bashes.” Shanks repeats, beaming a bright smile at you. “If he’s this comfortable around you, then you’ve probably been to a couple. Seas know it takes him forever to warm up to anyone. Well, no, it takes him forever to admit he’s warmed up to someone, I’m pretty sure he falls way faster than he admits.”

“This - uh… we’ve… we’ve been dating, for a… week?” You manage to say, looking back and forth between Marco and Shanks. The red-head freezes in place, eyes going wide. “We… uh, met like… I don’t know, two-ish weeks ago?”

His jaw goes slack. The sudden silence from someone who seemed so keen on talking until he’d hit every word in the dictionary was a little unnerving. The slack jaw and wide eyes don’t last long, as his expression changes to one of pure joy. You can hear Marco groan, so you know he’s at least watching this unfold.

“Seriously?” Shanks questions, looking back at Marco.

“Shanks-.” Marco starts, but the man is already looking back at you.

“It took me three months,” he starts, holding one of your hands almost reverently. “Just to get him to let me call him by his first name. Three months! I had to bribe his clinic staff to get him to leave the hospital, well, beg, they’re a sweet lot, berries weren’t really effective. He pays too well. But this - forgive me Miss, he’s just such a-hurk!”

Shanks is pulled backward, leaning precariously over the floor, his butt barely on the booth’s cushion, Marco leaning over him. You didn’t notice Marco get up, and apparently neither had Shanks.

“It was nice seeing you, Shanks.” Marco’s words are even, but his tone is a little sharp.

“Yeah, you too.” Shanks replies, grinning widely before looking at you. “It was a pleasure, Miss.”

“Uh, yeah.” You agree, watching with some amusement as Shanks carefully removes himself from the booth and Marco’s grip.

He smooths his shirt, steps toward the table enough to grab his drink, and raises it to you in a quick farewell before giving Marco a wink and walking back over to the bar. Marco sighs so heavy you pat your side of the booth and get him to sit down beside you.

“Sorry about that.” He says as you turn toward him in the booth and take one of his hands into both of yours.

“I should apologize,” you insist. “I didn’t mean to give him an easy in like that.”

“He’s like a cat, yoi.” Marco asserts, giving you a soft smile. “He tends to go where he pleases, as he pleases. There wasn’t much either of us could’ve done. I don’t see Beck around either, so that makes it even harder to rein him in.”

He sighs one more time, putting his face against his free hand for a second. “I wasn’t trying to keep it a secret.” He grumbles, rubbing his hand over his face before looking over at you. You tilt your head, you aren’t sure which part of Shanks’ whirlwind of words he was talking about. “The party. I was getting ready to invite you, if you wanted to come, yoi.”

“I would love to, when is it?”

“The party is two weeks from today.” He says, the easy smile returning to his face. “But my birthday is the 5th.”

“Then… we… could do something?” You question hesitantly, watching his expression soften. “Thursday’s not the best day for a date, but, I’d like to at least see you.”

“Every day I get to see you is a best day.” Marco says, and you lean forward and set your head against his shoulder.

“That was so corny.” You groan, trying to suppress a laugh.

“And yet you liked it.” He muses, leaning over and kissing the top of your head.

“I absolutely did not,” you lie, looking up at him, despite the embarrassment you’re sure is still scrawled across your face.

“Ah, here comes the waitress, you know what you want to eat?”

“You.” You answer shortly, causing him to cough.

[more-than-a-princess]

your  name: Arsene Lupin

your age: 22

your perfect date: We would paint the town red as the Americans say, perhaps a day at an amusement park, then we can go to movies, make sure people SEE us entering a hotel together only to secretly leave from an alternate exit for a heist. (gotta create an alibi)

make out in private or in public?: Hmmm, if you'd give me the pleasure I'd say in private. I am a gentleman after all, whilst I have no shame of public affection it would be unruly of me to make out with you in public.

do you like to cuddle?: Yes please mademoiselle.

tell me something about you: I have a photographic memory and i can manipulate my own vocal chords to sound like anyone I've heard at least once, i'm also not bad at imitating machines and vehicles as well.

why do you want to be my valentine?: There's a part of me that knows..it knows that I may not be able to call you 'wife' or even 'lover' one day. I'd be satisfied to call you my Valentine even if it were for one day, I would be the happiest man alive.

Valentine's Day Application - Accepting through February 14!

She tended to forget: despite the fact that she was on the run and needed to remain in hiding until there were no public threats against her life, he was still younger than she was. And still, sometimes recklessly, calling the shots alongside his friends, all employed by the Novoselic Royal Family to keep her safe.

"I'm not entirely sure if it has occurred to him that being seen entering a hotel together would, inevitably, lead to having the press tipped off," Sonia remarked. Even without royal duties to speak of at present, she still couldn't turn off the part of her mind that worked through all the potential ways she could cause scandal. Scandal that had nothing to do with her hobbies, that is: she was far more amenable to being caught in a graveyard in the wee hours of the morning tracking some sort of paranormal activity than she was having her love life speculated about in the media. "And the immediate assumption would, inevitably, be..."

She trailed off, her cheeks turning pink at what was left unsaid. Sonia had a hunch that the world imagining they were engaging in such acts would likely appeal to him, if not will it into existence. Even if it would be all anyone would ask her about once she was able to resume her old life: who he was, where he came from, what he did and had he met her family yet.

That was the trouble with dating as the Princess of Novoselic: expectations were always heightened beyond anything a budding relationship should ever need to handle. She could smile at a man and laugh at something she found sincerely funny, and the rumor mill would churn out something akin to a passionate romance destined for the altar.

"I would enjoy visiting an amusement park and seeing a film, though. I cannot deny that," She agreed. "As long as we do not skip the roller coasters and haunted houses: those are essential. But more importantly-"

Sonia paused, sighing as she set the application aside. Not in a discard pile, not in an acceptance pile, but somewhere in-between. Rather like how she felt about him.

"He is a man of disguises and there are so many instances when I feel I do not know him. He desires an intimacy with me, emotionally and physically, but I wonder if he has truly considered what that means. The life I have been living since I met him, that does not resemble anything of what it will be once I am no longer under threat."

She swallowed, running a hand through her hair, the way she did when she was anxious. "I am not allowed, nor do I have it in me, to participate in casual relationships. I suppose I just do not understand how he can be so interested in me, when I feel we do not really know or understand each other. That when this is over...so will we."

"Nevertheless, a date might be a method of getting to know each other. No masks or costumes or voices that do not belong to us: just...us."

"I decline a visit to a hotel, though. Even if it is meant to be a facade for a heist in progress. There must be another way that does not invite unkind gossip."

But a date with no added pressure of a romantic holiday? She would give it, and him, a try. If just to try and get to know Arsene Lupin, whoever he was beneath his many disguises.

[limeadeislife]

I remember, when I took Intro to Psych during my sophomore year of college, the professor said something once about how it's easier to have a crush on someone after riding a roller coaster together. Like, sharing an intense or scary experience can contribute to feelings of bonding and attraction

About two and a half years after that, as I think I've mentioned on my blog a couple other times, I did a fairly unique public service program called AmeriCorps NCCC. It involved being sent first to a campus in a small town in Mississippi and living communally in close quarters with a bunch of other 18-to-24 year olds who were meeting each other for the first time, then traveling to other places in the southern U.S. to work on public service projects, with the daily schedule of work and other required activities often running over 8 hours. Opportunities to leave the communal living environment were few and far between. Definitely an intense experience. On the other hand, the weather was warm, and some of the places we saw were pretty beautiful

And during the first month, I met a girl who I got the sense was fairly "popular" - because of course, when you throw a bunch of 18-to-24 year old strangers together in close quarters, a social dynamic that includes some people being popular will develop. It's kind of like freshman year at a small college where most people live on campus, I think, combined with some kind of summer camp for young adults

This girl was friendly to me in the same way that she was friendly to everyone. And while the full story is worth telling in some other context, for now I'll just say that we went from being casually friendly, to being friends, to me finding out that she had feelings for me (which was mutual), to us dating(!!)

This is the ex I've mentioned on here a handful of times. And recently, this past March 24th, was the 5th anniversary of her breaking up with me

I know it's not normal, and likely not good - some people would probably say it's creepy - to still feel sad about an ex after 5 years. That's half a decade.

Now, part of this is that she was the only person I've ever had a happy romantic relationship with that lasted for more than roughly 2 months, so in that light, I don't think it's so strange that the memories would still be significant to me.

But the other aspect of it is that Intro Psych roller coaster principle. AmeriCorps NCCC was such a different experience from normal life, the "real world". We were in this crazy unfamiliar thing together and we both felt tired or anxious pretty often, and we found each other and turned to each other for comfort, and that was definitely just. An emotionally intense experience. I don't really know how to describe it with words. You know the romance plots in fantasy novels, where the protagonists are on some dangerous life-changing adventure, and the affection between the love interests is accordingly stronger and more poignant? It felt kind of like that.

And that was honestly probably one of my favorite emotions that I've ever experienced, and it just feels kind of hard for me to accept that I'll probably never have a chance to experience it again. Even if I do find a happy romantic relationship again in my life, something that I already worry about for various reasons.

I'm 27 now. Intelletually I know that there are plenty of people in their late 20s, including other weird nerds, who are in happy, fulfilling romantic relationships. (I believe some such people follow me here, and I appreciate the hope you provide.) But it's just hard for me to imagine for myself. I don't know if that one unconventional experience gave me unrealistic expectations. But - I'm sorry to generalize - I feel like when I encounter people nowadays who are theoretically in my dating pool, they're mostly regular adults who have jobs and live in apartments, and are looking for a partner who is also a stable, responsible adult with a job and an apartment. And even if I do achieve the external markers of that - get a permanent full-time job, move into my own apartment - and one of those people agrees to go on dates with me, it's hard for me to imagine the resulting relationship feeling as meaningful.

But rationally there must be people in their late 20s who also want this vague thing that I want. Maybe it's just hard to picture something before it happens. Maybe hypothetical-future-partner and I could go on a road trip together (after I get a driver's license, cause I don't have that yet currently either) and that would trigger a similar roller-coaster-effect. Idk.

[jaune-luna]

Sunday, February 11, 2024

Lately.

My life lately has been a roller coaster ride, but it's far from over. I worked as an assistant director at a hospital before, and while everything turned out great for them, I didn't feel great about myself. Long story short, I wasn't appreciated. So, I started looking for another job, but with little experience, I struggled to get callbacks. In my country, they prefer applicants with extensive experience. Eventually, I found a job that didn't require experience. The training went well, and I excelled in class, but the reality of the job, technical service support, dealing with angry customers, proved challenging. My parents were supportive of me finding another job, especially since my night shift schedule required me to commute home alone in the early hours. My mom would stay up late just to wait for my arrival. Well, that is enough for work-related situations.

As for my personal life, I recently had a lunch date with my college friends, some of whom are now doctors while others are still interns. I'm proud of them, although I couldn't help but feel disappointed in myself initially, especially if you've read about my life in 2022 (last entry). However, the feeling quickly faded as we reminisced about old times and shared jokes. I have few close friends in that circle, the fact that they never let me felt that I was left out (they were classmate in med school), didn’t question anything, just us casually bringing the old-free-living us just like college days, was the best. You will really feel better if you are surrounded by matured and understanding people. Had to compare, but my current workmates right now, omg sooo immature, even those tenured/long term workmates, whom they call themselves professionals was so immature. Really, I can’t level myself to them.

But hey, that is all for now. Here’s a photo of me after being stressed of just existing.

Ps. I love my dog, Sucré.

Luna

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary60

11/10-11/2023

friday - saturday

a worrisome day.

today began okay. i don't remember my dream. no, i do, another one about vacation, this time, in the desert, on the way to some kind of theme park, in an ugly little town, an ugly little rollercoaster, a sideshow attraction, it turned out to be where we were headed, and in a family restaurant stuck to the attraction, we sat, plastic from 1991, graphics from 1991, it reminded me of all the old mcdonald's playplaces, it made me feel dirty. the car felt impossible and fast, we were a bullet along the desert, it used to be an ocean floor, i thought about that, the coaster had an aquatic theme. fast like crashing waves, maybe something about tsunamis. orange-red letters fly across a wave, the graphic that advertised it. i was there, an amalgam of a family, all the one's i've had, my gf's mom, my father, my extended family in all circles met in a center i don't ever want to see materialize, and i felt trapped all over again. i really have been traumatized by travel i think. it's good for your soul, but i go to these ugly places, my dreams absorb new terrain, but it all makes me sad. all i can say is oh well, tonight's only made me sad, i say oh well, i hope by the end of everything i will be there laughing, like my friend was tonight, after sobbing, in fury i think, about a man she's served at work came in and kept asking about her breasts. she couldn't say anything, her coworkers didn't do anything. i was wishing the whole time i was hearing that i heard, and that if i heard, i would do something. but what if i didn't, i could be a coward, apparently everybody's a coward, it's 90% of the world. that makes me want to kill myself. i don't want to be a coward, and i never want to have to prove i'm not, because i don't want the world to be bad, but the world is bad. we are on a cursed star. i don't think it's possible to say otherwise.

first tonight, was the breast themed birthday party. it was sad, the woman turned 26, she got very drunk, natural i guess, a 35 year old alcoholic in denial because she only gets wasted socially and every day is social and every day is a party and begging for shots is just fun and not a suicidal urge making itself a joke like everyone's trained themselves to do, kept asking everyone to take shots. she entered the room, and said: shots, i think it's time for shots. it was like a cartoon. she does this all the time. the woman who was being celebrated, she had a shambolic casual sex situation she was trying to handle, the man saying he can't anymore, while still showing up to the party, showing some kind of interest still. maybe he just really wants to be friends, and wants things to be pure between them. i hope that's the case, i don't want more men to be evil. at the same party, a 35 year old man who had been evil to a 26 year old woman, not the same one celebrating, another, were both there, and he alone and she with friends, all hating him silently. we don't know how he was evil. it just makes me sick knowing, distantly, that it was something unforgivable. all the people kept partying, i got upset at my girlfriend as she got very drunk, and got handsy, and wouldn't listen to me, i asked her to not scream my name during the part of the night where they judged breasts and she screamed my name for the nip slip award or whatever (the award being tiny and plastic and useless). she says no one cares, i saw people staring but less than that, i asked her not to, but she did, that still upsets me, even after this pretty long night, it still sticks under the skin. i wish she didn't, how hard is it to respect me even a little. i know she does, so i'm just being dramatic. everything just makes me sick now. i got to see our couple friends, they were very nice, and happy to be with us, we chatted shit about the people there. i said loudly, to one: these people don't care about me. and i said loudly, at the room: these poet-artists don't care about me, or anyone, i am invisible and i could be crushed like an insect, i am here to be crushed, no one cares, no one hears or sees. no one heard or saw. i know outbursts like that only make people uncomfortable. something is wrong with me and i kept doing it tonight. maybe i'll remember more to say about the party tomorrow. the celebrator touched my arm weird, in pulses, sadly i think. people said i was pretty, because i think they thought i didn't want to go up out of shame, and not because i just know i didn't want to. anyway, maybe more on this tomorrow.

we went to a rave. the music upset me, until a certain point. all the same, all minimal techno and hard to the point of being a grey 90 degree angle, and the same forever, until a song came on everyone recognized, and they posed a little and whatever. there was a dog, there was a baby. they are important. the dog was ugly but beautiful, the baby was sad. we met my other friend there, he made a joke about wanting to kick the bassist out of his band, but i wanted it to not be a joke. it's so much to put in writing. i am so tired. i will try and journey fully, for nobody, myself only. i couldn't hear that well, i put earplugs in, the music doesn't matter, only the people matter, so i hovered around them as much as possible, just talking, everything was important but i like those secrets. at one point, i ran off, around the corner, i stood on the corner watching some cars, i think i must have looked like a lady of the night, a car stopped on the corner, a stop sign, for so long, i can't fathom why other than to hope maybe i would come over or something. obviously i didn't. a guy on his bike did a double take at me, i think to figure out whether or not i have a cock. my gf and my friend's gf but also our friend and her friend and you know, came around the corner, i ran off again and triggered this thing to go off, like, an alert, a woman's automated voice rang into the night that we were being monitored in a restricted area.

when we came back, we lingered outside, and i was leaning against this shutter door thing. a woman in a crop top came out, super low rise jeans too, and was flirting with a man, her friend with her flirting with another. crop top produced a bag of drugs, did a keybump. i kept saying, oh my god she has drugs, she did drugs off a key, oh my god, god and jesus and her dad and mom and the cops and earth saw and knows forever. over and over again. i don't know why. it was funny. later on, we got to a long discussion about the bass player, my friend wasn't there, only the other friend who is his lover and my gf and myself. saying basically: he is a guy only in a band to get laid, he wants to be the face of the band, he doesn't even want to play bass anymore really, his ego is huge. just all kinds of shit. then we left, with our friend. we talked to him about it in the car, we talked to him about it in the restaurant. basically, he doesn't know what to do, he doesn't know the bassist well even, he doesn't understand him fully, other people feel how we feel even, and my friend is also totally disengaged with the band, he's become bored with it, and he feels like after this, he'll never do another one again. i hope that's not true, i want him to just be happy again though, with music, and if maybe giving up on band stuff would help him, then whatever. but he is a very good musician, he should be listened to, but isn't, because his bandmates want to stick themselves to an ugly trend rn, of becoming a band that's like deftones kind of. before that though, my gf and our friend went off to this front room, the rave still happening, but this was a warehouse attached to an apartment almost, basically, and the baby was there, and the dog, and what my friend and i saw as we walked to our gfs, was his holding the baby, consoling it while it shrieked, and my gf, weeping, saying this baby is going to have a worse life than she did, and that this is like trainspotting, and weeping. and neither of us knew what to do. the dog was alone with the baby before, protecting it. the mother came eventually, someone who owned the business i suppose, or related to that end of things. it made me want to cry too, i didn't. i felt bad for everything. we saw a white claw in the drink holder part of the baby carriage. the world is very bad.

now i'm home. we ate at a restaurant, talked about things with my friend, he is just very depressed right now, and it's almost like there's not much pulling him out, other than being around people. it's sad that music isn't doing it for him. he is very angry right now too it feels like, i understand, he is like stuck and it's because of others in part, and shedding that weight would be selfish, but maybe that would be best. everyone feels impotent tonight, i feel bad for everyone, i can't help him, or his gf, with simply suffering for being born and being attractive to men, being treated as a place to stuff desire.

i am glad i saw them though, i love my friends. i guess at least something feels nice about knowing we can handle bad times together.

these circumstances could not make anyone happy.

byebye!!!!!

[strangerthingfanfic]

Title: Legend of Harringrove Part: 1: Breaking Free

Thank you to @ghostlynimbus for the prompt about Steve, a knife and Neil.

Fandom: Stranger Things

Pairing: Harringrove

Rating: Teen and up

Summary: When Steve meets Billy both boys learn what it means to be family

If you enjoy please comment and reblog. Part 2 will be out next week

Chapter 1: New Type of Adventure

For fifteen-year-old Billy, life's been an up-and-down roller coaster.

First, there was his mom who disappeared when he was ten.

Then when he was eleven a woman named Susan and her eight-year-old daughter Max entered his life.

Max would become Billy's beacon. When he felt the anger welling up she was there to remind him it was not worth it.

He also became her protector. If she did something that would upset Neil he would take the blame.

When he turned fifteen Susan announced she was pregnant and they were moving to a small little town in Indiana named Hawkins.

And so here he was. Standing outside the gym holding his twelve-year-old sisters' hands and trying out for the school basketball team.

The freshman all had to try out a week before school started so as not to get in the senior's way.

They headed in.

Steve Harrington watched as the new kids came in. He watched the older boy sit his sister down on the bottom row of the bleachers and hand her a backpack.

Listening in he heard him tell her there were drinks and snacks in case she gets hungry and her book she was reading was also in there.

She hugged him and he hugged her back looking nervous to leave her but he finally turned around.

Suddenly the calm blue eyes of the young boy turned into bright blue eyes flashing with lightning and facing him.

Steve gulped.

“Hey my name is Billy,” he said to Steve who still was a bit in shock from the intensity Billy showed.

“Mines Steve” Steve answered and just as they shook hands the coach blew his whistle and tryouts started.

At the end, Billy was chosen as team captain as was Steve. They would be in charge of the freshman team.

After an obligatory handshake, Billy headed back to Max and without thinking, Steve followed.

“Who's your friend?” Max asked with a slight laugh.

“This is Harrington, he will be coaching with me. Though if he doesn't learn to plant those feet of his he will be coaching on the bench with an injury most of the sesson” Billy said with a sly smile.

“Come on Max I hear there's an arcade and you love those places” Billy said as he took the backpack he had given her and placed it on his shoulder.

That ferocity he showed on the court completely vanished.

“Hey I know where that is if you want me to show you? Steve said without even thinking. He seemed to be doing a lot of that around Billy.

“I guess we have a tour guide, Max,” Billy said, wrapping an arm around Steve.

They headed out and got their bikes and Steve showed them the fastest way into town.

When they got to the arcade Max locked her bike and held out her hand.

Steve couldn't help but laugh. Billy just groaned but put a $10 bill in her hand and sent her inside.

Noticing the convenience store across the way Billy grabbed Steve's hand which caused a heat wave to go through Steve's face. He really hoped Billy didn't see that.

“I like you too Harrington” Billy casually said and the two headed into the store.

Both boys grabbed a coke and some snacks and headed back to the arcade. Billy piled his on Steve as he went in and checked on Max.

When he came out and unpiled the snacks from the other boy he said “she's made friends with these four kids. I think one of them likes her. A Lucas Sinclair”.

“Lucas is a good kid. I babysit for his family. He has a cute but smart-mouthed little sister named Erica” Steve said as he dug out another handful of chips.

Billy looked at Steve and smiled. “If you trust him I will. I'm a little overprotective of Max” Billy said, drinking half the soda in one gulp.

Steve smiled. Billy was adorable when he talked about Max.

“Hey why won't you two come over, we can rent a movie from family video and grab some snacks on the way” Steve said hoping not to be alone again.

Billy saw it. The look. His look. That look of being abandoned by the people who were supposed to be there for you no matter what.

“Sounds good Harrington” Billy said, finishing off his coke and heading in and pulling Max away from an arcade game.

“She can destroy all of you later” Billy said to the boys and they headed outside.

Grabbing their bikes they went and picked up more snacks and a movie and headed to Steve's house.

Chapter 2: Movie Night

As they pulled up to Steve's house both Billy and Max couldn't believe how big it was.

“You definitely can get your daily cardio on this driveway,” Billy said mockingly as the three of them headed up to the door.

Steve put their bikes in a little garage next to the house and they headed in.

“Even the bikes have their own room,” Billy said mockingly again making Max laugh and Steve blush.

“Make yourselves at home while I make the popcorn” Steve said, getting the drinks into the fridge.

Billy did just that and sat down on the couch with Max sitting next to him and made himself at home.

Steve laughed and started to make the popcorn. Once it was ready he put the movie in and aimed to sit in the recliner but his plans changed as he was pulled onto the couch next to Billy. Steve laughed and sat down and as soon as the movie started found himself cuddled up to Billy.

“The better show seems to be here in the living room.” Max said laughing. The two boys looked at her and laughed.

The popcorn was gone halfway through the movie which none of them really seemed to be paying attention to.

Max was busy telling Steve all about California and watching Billy surf on the weekends.

Steve listened closely to every word, wishing he had been there to see that .

“Hey maybe the three of is could go down over the summer,” Max said excitedly giving both boys the puppy dog look.

Laughing they both said they would see what they could do.

They decided since they weren't really watching the movie that they would just have dinner.

Billy got up this time and using what he found made them pasta with garlic bread.

“Omg Billy this is amazing” Steve said as he dug in for seconds. “I have better skills” Billy said, grinning making Steve blush.

Steve asked Max what she was looking forward to this year while he and Billy talked about what their goals were with the basketball team.

They all felt the family vibe and felt at home.

After dinner they decided to finish the movie.

Once the movie was over Billy reluctantly got up and started getting Max ready to go when Steve grabbed his arm.

“Stay the night” Steve said softly as he made a pouty face.

Billy couldn't say no to that face plus he didn't like the idea of going home on their bikes in a new town in the dark so they ended up setting up sleeping bags right there in the living room with Steve promising to make them pancakes in the morning.

Billy was going to sleep next to Steve but Max ended up putting her sleeping bag between the two boys.

“It's cozy here” Max said grinning as she closed her eyes.

Billy and Steve exchanged glances and the two boys turned in for the night as well.

And in the morning Steve kept his word and made pancakes.

Chapter 3: California

Steve melted into the recliner at home glad the school year was over.

Between basketball and keeping his grades up, he was exhausted.

Then there was the other factor.

Billy Hargrove.

The boy was a beast on the court. He worked them for three hours after school on the same drill even though they wouldn't be playing for three months.

But there was something. His eyes always looked sad and he was always beating himself up over the smallest mistakes.

He kept his sister close like if he didn't something would happen to her.

Ever since their mom gave birth they've been hanging at his house more. They were always tired and would fall asleep within minutes of sitting down.

He was worried.

Thankfully the school year was over and their trip to California was going to give them all a nice break from their normal lives.

The three of them met up at the greyhound station early the next morning.

Thankfully Steve’s mom was so happy he had such good friends that she offered to fund the entire trip for all three of them.

The bus trip itself took almost a week.

Steve had never been on a road trip before and he was just like a child seeing the countryside and all for the first time.

He had to point out every farm animal and wild animal they passed.

He would mention the mountains and the differences in weather as they passed through different states.

Billy mostly slept through the whole thing but Max enjoyed having someone who was excited like she was.

They had driven from Cali to Hawkins but it was stressful and Neil didn't like talking while he drove. So this was a much needed fun trip for her as well.

When they finally got to San Diego they grabbed a cab and headed to the oceanside hotel that Steve’s mom had booked for them.

It was a major resort with people who took their bags and offered them drinks.

Their room was on the fourth floor had a beautiful view of the ocean. The breeze coming through the window was calming.

When they got settled in they decided that Steve and Billy would share a bed and Max would take the other one.

“I hope that you don't snore too loudly Harrington,” Billy said with a chuckle. “You never know Hargrove,” Steve said with a smirk.

It didn't take them long to get changed into beach attire and hit the beach though.

For the next month, Billy tried to teach Max and Steve how to surf with absolutely no luck.

They also took a bus trip to Santa Cruz where they hung out on the boardwalk.

Along with all the amazing activities, the boys were getting closer by the day. They trusted each other immensely even to the point Billy didn't worry about leaving Max alone with Steve.

On their final night of their stay, Billy was in the shower while Max and Steve started packing.

“Guess what Max, we are taking a plane back. I know you and Billy have never been on a plane so I thought it would be fun” Steve said, getting the last of his things packed.

Max’s face lit up for the first time that night and she ran over and gave Steve a huge hug.

“You're welcome but you better finish packing because we have to leave first thing in the morning,” Steve said, squeezing her back, sad that this amazing trip was ending.

“What's with all the long faces? I know I wasn't around for a while but it wasn't that long,” Billy said with just a towel wrapped around his waist as water dripped down his chest.

Max covered her eyes and got under the covers on her bed.

Steve just stood there. Face flushed red and getting redder as Billy came closer.

“So Harrington like what you see”? Billy asked when he got close to Steve.

Steve just nodded, making Billy smirk. “Want to lick the water off”? Billy asked enjoying the playful moment.

When Steve didn't answer Billy sat down on the bed and motioned for Steve to follow.

Without knowing why Steve followed and when he got over Billy helped him straddle his leg.

“Go ahead Steve, lick away” Billy whispered into Steve's ear and he could feel the other boy's body react.

Closing his eyes Steve licked up the center of Billy's chest enjoying the moan he received from the other boy.

“Kid is still in the room,” Max said, her voice muffled by the blankets.

Both boys laughed and assured Max it was safe to come out from the blanket fort.

She peeked her head out and Steve was sitting on the bed and Billy was lying up against the pillows with the blanket covering his lower half.

He was smiling. He was happy and Max couldn't be happier. He always protected her and made sure she was as happy as possible and to see him happy himself was beyond words.

“Can I sleep in the middle tonight? It's our last night and I want us all to be together” Max asked her voice shaker than she meant it to be.

Billy jolted up and she was glad he was in boxers. After getting a nod from Steve, Billy went over and amazingly picked her up and plopped her in the bed between them.

Billy crawled back into bed and Steve crawled into the other side.

For one night they were all able to feel what it was like to be part of a stable and happy family.

The next morning they sadly boarded their plane.

Billy didn't seem that amazed but Max was super intrigued by every part of it.

She especially enjoyed seeing birds fly by while in the air.

When they landed and they got their luggage they headed outside and waited for Steve’s mom.

They were going to stay one night at Steve’s and then they would head home the next day, or that was the plan.

Chapter 4: Steve’s Resolve

The Next Day

Billy dragged himself out of the bed he was sharing with Max in the guest room.

He looked back at her. She was sleeping soundly so he didn't wake her up.

Instead, he got dressed and headed down to the kitchen to find food where he found Steve’s mom already making breakfast.

“That looks amazing but I feel bad we are imposing Mrs. Harrington,” Billy said sweetly.

She smiled and said “call me Jennifer and it's no trouble at all Billy. I've never seen Steve as happy as he is when you and Max are around.

But may I ask, is there more between you and Steve than being best friends”?

Billy blushed and nodded. “I knew it and I'm so happy for the both of you” Jennifer said as she placed a plate of pancakes in front of Billy.

“My dad would literally kill me,” Billy said, taking a bite. “He gets mad at me for taking care of my hair and skin. He likes to slap me or if he's in a really bad mood he uses his fist” Billy continued and didn't realize what he had said until he saw the shocked look on Jennifers’ face.

“I'm so sorry,” Billy said slinking back in his chair, hands trembling as he tried to keep his fork steady

“Don't apologize for being scared of him, Billy. I am sorry he treats you like that. Let me guess it has gotten worse since the baby was born” Jennifer said trying to calm the young man down.

Billy nodded trying to get his hand to stop shaking.

“How would you and Max like to live here?” Jennifer asked softly.

Billy looked at her and nodded silently. Still afraid of making a wrong move and being hit.

“Then it's settled. You are staying here. I will talk to your dad about it. Why not after you eat you go and get you and Max’s school stuff while I get the other two up and then we will shop for new clothes” Jennifer said with a smile.

Billy couldn't help but cry as he ate his pancakes. Jennifer rubbed his back. Life was looking up.

It was a weekday so Neil would be at work so Billy didn't mind heading to the house.

He got a huge hug from Jennifer and jumped on his bike and headed to his place.

Jennifer got the other two up and fed and they waited for Billy to return.

Slowly the sun started to go down and the shadows of the trees danced in the night wind.

Steve and Max waited anxiously in the living room until Jennifer sent them to bed.

“Can I sleep in your room Steve?” Max asked, her voice cracking. “Of course Max” Steve said and they headed upstairs.

Jennifer looked towards the door and said “I hope you're alright Billy” and keeping all the house lights on went upstairs herself.

The darkness gave way to sunlight and there was still no sign of Billy.

Max paced the living room like a caged tiger.

Her eyes red from crying.

Steve tried his best to stay calm but the anxiety was eating away at him.

Then the sound none of them wanted to hear approached the sound of sirens.

The gravel made a crunching sound underneath the wheels of Sheriff Hopper's car.

The sheriff got out and headed to the door which flung open, with Max and Steve meeting him before he made it to the doorway.

“Where is my brother?” Max said as tears streamed down her face.

Hopper looked straight at her and said “Hawkins General Hospital in the ER”.

The world started to spin in front of Steve's eyes. He tried to breathe but the words kept playing over and over in his head.

He tried to also focus on Max who had been enveloped by Hopper's arms.

But the world slowly became nothing but black.

When the world finally came back into focus Steve was lying on the front room couch.

He sat up slowly and saw Max asleep on the recliner across from him.

“Thank you, we will be down immediately” he heard his mom say over the phone and that's when he remembered what was going on.

He got up and ran to the kitchen. “Is he ok?” Steve asked as his mom tried to guide him to a chair but he wouldn't budge.

“He is in the intensive care unit sweetheart. He has multiple lacerations on his back and chest and a pretty bad head injury. He's lost a lot of blood and he also has hypothermia, he was found without a shirt and in the freezing hours of the morning. They have him on life support and now it's just a waiting game” Jennifer said trying to calm her son.

Steve just paced around the kitchen and asked “what happened”?

His mom looked at him, her eyes tearing up, and said “he went to get Max and his school supplies and that's all I know for sure. Hopper found him in that condition out in a desolate area he was patrolling. They think it was probably an attack by some older kids or maybe a wild animal”.

Steve didn't buy it. “It was his father, I know it,” he said, slamming his fist on the kitchen counter.

“Steve calm down, please. We don't know that for a fact. I've started the process of trying to get both Max and Billy out of that house but you flying off the handle won't help” his mom said and was about to say more when she heard Max start to move around and hurried into the living room to take care of her.

Steve looked at the papers. He knew what he had to do. He slid a kitchen knife under his sleeve and put the papers in his school bag.

Making sure his mom wasn't watching, he quietly slipped out the back door, grabbed his bike, and didn't look back.

Chapter 5: Inner Strength

Steve peddled faster than he ever had. He was on a mission.

He wasn't one to turn to violence but sometimes it's the only language someone speaks and for Neil that was his language.

When he arrived at the new mailbox with the name Hargrove, he got off his bike, and hid with it behind a hedge.

He was in luck. Neil, Susan, and the baby came out of the house and Susan started buckling the baby into a car seat in the back of her car.

Neil kissed her as she got in. She kissed him back, sat down and pulled out of the driveway, heading towards the star court mall.

“Wow, they care a lot their son is in intensive care,” Steve thought to himself as his vision became redder and redder.

When Neil had gone back inside Steve initiated his plan.

Going to the door he knocked.

Neil answered and Steve pulled out the knife and drove Neil back inside, shutting the door with his right foot.

Putting the knife to Neil’s neck Steve said “Listen to me Neil Hargrove, I know that it was you who hurt Billy. I can't prove it so we can go about this two ways, I share with the cops my knowledge of your ongoing abuse towards Billy and drag you and Susan’s name through the mud or you play nice and sign these documents relinquishing you and Susan’s parental rights to both Max and Billy and I walk out of here and you can live your miserable lives”.

Steve arched the knife to cut into the skin and draw blood.

“You're lucky I would more than happily just kill you but Billy once told me that you're life wasn't worth throwing away his or mine for so you live but I swear to all things holy that if you ever touch either Billy or Max again I will gladly forfeit my freedom for your blood staining the floors of wherever you might be. And I will find you wherever you are.” Steve said as he awaited Neil’s answer.

Neil smiled. “You have more balls than that useless piece of trash people call my son ever had. It's too bad you're as big of a fag as he is” Neil said but quickly regretted it when Steve kneed him hard in the crotch causing the knife to also dig a bit deeper.

“You speak ill of Billy one more time in my presence and we shall see if you bleed red. So, what is your answer, Hargrove?” Steve growled.

Neil groaned and said his voice riddled with pain “Give me the damn papers”.

Steve relinquished a little of his hold and guided Neil to where his bag was and pushed him into a chair.

Placing the papers in front of him as well as a pen Steve said “Now sign. You can also sign the miss's name as well on Max’s”.

With the growl in Steve's voice coupled with the look of a killer, Neil decided it best just to sign the papers. Plus he didn't want the public shame that he would gain if any of what happened got out.

As soon as he signed both forms with both Susan's and his name Steve picked them up, placed them back in his bag, and headed for the door.

Not even looking back Steve opened the door, went out, and slammed it behind him leaving behind a terrified yet impressed Neil.

As he got his bike Steve felt his legs get wobbly under him and he threw up. He had never done anything like that before and he knew that adrenaline and anger were the only components that got him through it.

His legs finally gave out and he found himself slumping to the ground.

Not caring who saw he buried his face in his arms for a bit and cried. He needed to feel something but anger again.

When he started to feel better he got on his bike and headed home hoping his mom wouldn't kill him when he arrived.

The look on her face when he walked in the back door said it all. She was going to kill him.

“Where in the hell were you Steve? Max wouldn't go to the hospital until you returned” she said pointing at Max who was sitting quietly at the kitchen table. Her eyes puffy from crying were stone cold and staring at nothing.

Steve took a breath, took out the papers and placed them in front of his mom.

She looked at him stunned. “What did you do Steve Harrington?” she asked her voice trembling with a mixture of fear and anger but also the slightest tinge of pride.

“I did what I had to do to protect those I love and for that, I won't apologize. Those are signed and dated by Neil and Susan. That's all that needs to be said” Steve said proudly and went over and faced Max.

“You and Billy are now safe Max. My mom is adopting you both so I guess that means a relationship is off but you two being safe is more important” Steve said and he could see a change in her eyes.

They went from cold and distant to warm and emotional. She wrapped her arms around him and without knowing where the strength came from he picked her up and held her.

Jennifer came over and said softly “I am going to talk to Hopper and see if he will legally adopt Billy but let him live here so you two can still take care of one another”.

Steve started crying and still holding Max hugged his mom the best he could.

Steve’s back finally started moaning at him and he had to put Max down. She didn't go far as she laced her hands with his and held on tightly.

“Now shall we get to the hospital and check on Billy?” Jennifer said. Both Max and Steve nodded and headed out of the door.

[dadukos]

@demottcm / continued.

𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐃𝐃𝐈𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐄 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘 𝐎𝐔𝐓 like she’d seen the movie before. at times the town seemed trapped into its own special brand of stillness, a washed out purgatory in between real life and complete oblivion —— and then something would intrude, a splinter from the outer world, doing nothing more than stepping in and, by that very act, upsetting this quiet, precarious balance. she’d been the object of that sort of confused staring before — the first week at st. peter’s had been an experience akin to being a museum piece, only none of the patrons had other peculiar pieces and halls to go through, just her and her out-of-state accent and the hesitancy with which she approached every bottle they asked her to grab.

now the stranger made his way to the counter, nosy glances following him as if to usher him to his designed seat — it was the tiniest bit amusing, the stark contrast between him and the small spectacle of drinkers on the other side of the room. if this was a movie, she thought, the choice to leave the light off of him would be deliberate — only faint reflections of the golden lightbulbs above the counter seemed to outline his features, but as he walked and picked the stool at the far end of the bar, he seemed to be one with the shadows. fred understood their interest, couldn’t quite blame them for it — seemed the whole town had been yearning for a tall dark stranger to come shake things up, lately. she nodded at his request, eyebrows raised in surprised approval of his choice, and moved to look through the liquor shelf — casually, her old hesitancy forgotten. disappointed, she turned with an apologetic smile. ❝ no woodford, buffalo trace alright ? ❞. 

as she went to heat up the water and slice the lemon, freddie laughed at his remark. ❝ they’re an exclusive club, not too used to foreigners ❞, rolling her eyes, she moved to peek at the table where the gawkers pretended to be busy drinking. ❝ hey joe ❞, she called out to the one with the most insistent stare. ❝ saw larry asking about you earlier, i think we should tell him you're out and about and ready to see him now, uh ? ❞. joe, frowning, muttered some thin apology and lowered his gaze, focusing on his beer. ❝ there ❞, fred smirked as she mixed the drink. ❝ they just need to be put in their place now and then, don’t know their manners around here  ❞. as she squeezed the last drop of lemon juice in the glass, and stirred it a couple times for good measure, fred set the glass down on top of a coaster and moved it towards him. she had half a mind to warn him, how she hadn’t made one of these in a while, and couldn’t be sure she’d got the proportions right —— but she saw the bill, heard his words, and couldn’t help the chuckle that followed.

❝ well, kal — ❞, she started, as she moved to the cash register and counted his change. ❝ i’m sadly not in the business of handing out jobs, but i can ask around. heard they’re looking for people at the mill down in ferndale, i think. or ——  ❞, she nodded to the table behind him. ❝ some of these guys work at a garage, don’t know if that’s your thing, but i can ask. ❞ then, change in hand, she made her way back to him and set it down by his glass, smiling. ❝ i’m fred, by the way. nice meeting you, kal. ❞ arms crossed, she leaned back against the wall. her smile somewhere between genuine amusement and a honest curiosity — couldn’t blame her for tha. she, too, was interested in tall dark strangers who suddenly appeared on the stage to turn a boring story around. ❝ …so you’re new in town, uh ? ❞

[retr0scum]

not sure he even blinks

[deidearly]

Kakashi Relationship Headcanons

Guess who’s back with another relationship headcanon today? And as usual, I had a good time writing this one even got slightly carried away, hehe. Enjoy! XX. 

Well— Hatake Kakashi, huh? Dating him would be such a roller coaster ride, tbh. It’s like, one moment he’s so clingy, fragile, so afraid of losing you— but one moment he’s like, “Just do what you need to do. I don’t really care.” This is due to the fact that he’s got a lot of things in his mind and occasionally struggled to sort out his priorities. 

Anyway, of course you’ve complained about his ‘reading-smut-in-public’ issue, especially when you’re together. You two would come up with an agreement somehow. But to piss you off, he’d pretend like you’re the one who’s obsessed with reading smuts.

You’re browsing for some important books and he playfully yelled, “Y/N! Come here, it’s your favorite book— Icha Icha Tactics! My, I know you’ve had four books, but another one won’t hurt, right? Since you love it that much!” making everyone in the bookstore giggled.

He received “Y/N Signature Punch” that day.

To your surprise, he’s not very secretive about his relationship with you. In fact, you’ve caught him frequently use you as an excuse for him to escape some unwanted occasions.

Let’s say Gai was asking Kakashi to fight him like usual— and he wasn’t having it that day. “Gai, with all respect— I would gladly accept your challenge. But can’t you feel the springtime of romance youth is blooming? I must see Y/N immediately.”

Gai’s tearing up.

Don’t worry, he actually went to your place.

“Yo. Can we hang out? I just told Gai that I would come to your place. Please say ‘yes’ to make me less of a jerk, will you?”

Would totally show up in front of your place at an ungodly hour.

At first it surprised you but now you’re used to it.

You just finished your mission, it went pretty well but you felt there were some wasted chances due to your captain’s miscalculation. It’s nearly 2 AM but you caught yourself wide awake, reviewing back your battle– only to got distracted by a knock on your bedroom’s window. Instead of turning your head in surprise, you already knew who it was. To have a little fun for yourself, you ignored the sound, which was later followed by a second knock. Walking over to the window, you saw a silver-haired man with a mask. Although half of his face was covered, it’s obvious that a smile was apparent. “Yo.” he greeted, but you replied with a sigh. “You could actually knock on the door and I’d let you in through the door. It’s something normal people would do, Kakashi.” you grumbled, opening the window for him to get in. “Ah, spare me the lecture!”

So, reverse psychology works best for Kakashi. Like the Icha Icha Tactics– the more you ignore his behavior, he would actually try not to read his book in public like you told him to. But the more you complain, he’d read it in places where he shouldn’t be reading it at all. This method works in almost every cases.

You’ve been dating for weeks, but you haven’t seen his face.

Yes, when kissing, too.

You’ve had enough of kissing fabric. 

You had planned to make a dinner together at his place. He was preparing the dishes and you’re about to finish your cooking, when he suddenly asked, “Hey, Y/N. Have you ever wondered what would I look like under this mask?” You were dying to know actually. So, now you’re stuck with two options: (a) be honest about it, (b) pull out another reverse psychological answer— and you chose the latter. “Huh? Not really,” you shrugged, “I don’t really care so it’s not like I’m eager to see it.” and of course, this was a lie. Kakashi went silent for a while. “Anyway, dinner’s re—“ you swore you could’ve dropped the whole pan when you saw an unfamiliar presence. “Kakashi?” you asked hesitantly. The man looked up with a questioning look, “Why are you blushing?” he replied casually.

“ANYONE WITH A DECENT EYESIGHT WOULD BLUSH TOO, YOU STUPID.”

He’s honestly so heavenly to look at.

Sometimes it’s just too overwhelming to see his whole face, you thought.

It’s safe to say that it’s a privilege to be able to see his face. But due to his immense charm, you’d prefer to have him with a mask on.

“Y/N, I feel naked without my mask—“ , “And I honestly feel like I’m being forced to see an illicit nudity, too. Put your mask on, it’s fine honestly.”

He’s been very good at his job for almost his whole life, a fine shinobi. So, he’s rarely exposed to mundane things, moreover a relationship. Thus, making him quite restrained in expressing himself. Plus, he was labelled with some negative titles, saying how cold-blooded he was and he just decided to live with it. This, obviously, requires a lot of patience.

But he’s determined to change, the first step he took was letting you in— into his life.

It started rocky, though.

He’d say something like how he didn’t care much about you and sadly, he really didn’t.

But as the time went by he realized how your presence has been the one that helped him through it. How you’ve always been there to comfort him, by listening to him, giving him a lot of supports, or simply by reminding him that he’s not completely alone.

And when that moment came, he’s sworn to protect you with all his might.

He had a lot of nightmares, he still does, unfortunately. But when you’re around, your presence eases him up a little.

When you’re not around, however, he’d rather spend all night unhealthily tiring himself until he fall asleep.

His personal favorite would be curling up next to you with his hand around your waist while hiding his face near the crook of your neck as he’s giving you some soft neck kisses.

Again, NECK KISSES.

He had a hard time trying to open up himself fully to you and this applies to romantic gestures, I believe. He surely would take his time to explore you, what you like, and what he likes.

Would shower you with kisses, all over your face without missing a spot. He greatly admires every inches of yourself. 

Body worship, oof.

Lowkey (semi highkey) protective.

Lowkey (semi highkey) a show-off.

Would straight up jump to save you if it’s necessary.

And since he’s a show-off, he lowkey loves PDA— but the soft ones, of course. You two would always get spotted together. He would casually sling his arm around your shoulder or lazily has his hand wrapped around your waist.

Favorite time to spend with you is training together. No matter how many times you’ve told him to “fight with an intent to win” he simply refuses— saying how, he’s “far too powerful” for you.

But deep down he just doesn’t want to hurt you…

Chatting in the middle of a training

“Tsunade-sama hasn’t assigned me any missions lately *throws kunai*” , “Maybe if you threw your kunai accurately, she will. *dodge kunai*” , “Kakashi, shut your pretty mouth up. *throws MORE kunai aggressively*”

When you turned him down while he was showing off his new tricks, though, it weirdly turned him on.

He loves someone powerful, with a right amount of cocky.

Doesn’t talk big. He’s a man of action— his action speaks louder than words!

Doesn’t spoil you that much, though. Because it’s actually him who needs to be spoiled.

Really loves it when you trace your fingers all over his skin— it’s intimately soft, he claimed.

LOVES YOUR SCENT. Has it memorized probably.

He’d prefer someone independent. Someone who could actually take care of themselves instead of relying on him completely. 

Anyone too childish would remind him of Team 7, tbh.

Speaking of Team 7, they would probably be the one to get introduced to you.

Naruto was so shocked to find out that his sensei was capable to develop a romantic feeling towards someone. But he had his doubt— do you really know Kakashi? He started to bombard you with questions to test your knowledge.

“So, do you know what’s Kakashi Sensei’s favorite—“ , “I’ve seen his face. Multiple times.” , “YOU WHAT?”

Complained and sulked about it, “Kakashi Sensei, we’ve trained together for years. How could you?!”

Sakura was confused.

“How? I know he’s probably very handsome under that mask but come on, Y/N, reading smut in public? That’s an absolute no.”

On the contrary, Sasuke was thrilled, internally.

“Yeah. Finally. Old man has someone to annoy besides us. About time.”

He has a pretty bad behavior, too. Unlike Gaara, who’d put an emotionless facade when he’s only in the Kazekage mode, Kakashi would treat you just how he feels like doing it that day. 

Let’s be real, he has so many bottled up feelings inside his heart so it’s not a surprise that someday, somehow, a random painful emotion just hit him— hard, and he shut himself out.

The hospital is the place you immediately visit right after Kakashi’s arrival after a mission because you know he’d be there— reading his book with a few bruises here and there. But this time was a bit different. When he’s hospitalized, he would whine about you not being able to stay more than an hour— but right now you’re puzzled, since he’s been completely silent and avoiding you, answering your questions with a mere shrugs.

Tsunade told you that the mission went pretty well, thanks to Kakashi for eliminating all the enemies on the field, singlehandedly. You automatically knew that it must brought up his past traumas. “Kakashi, it’s not your fault.” you decided to speak, earning a glance from Kakashi, but that’s it. “It’s a mission and you protected all of your comrades!”

“I killed them, Y/N. I didn’t have to, but I did.” he said, with his eyes still glued elsewhere. “Every time I look at my hands, I feel dirty. It reminded me of that—“, “Kakashi, look at me.”

You moved closer to his bed, reaching out your hand and traced your fingers softly on his face. His cheeks were cold, and you could clearly see how he was slightly trembling with teary eyes. “Kakashi, if you didn’t do it— it could’ve been your own comrades. Now they’re safe and sound, thanks to you.”, you paused as he slowly began to move his sight to you. “And if I could meet you way sooner, I would remind you every day that it’s never your fault— it’s never been. You’re a good person, Kakashi. I, and all of us, are forever thankful for the things you’ve done.” you whispered, now wiping a few tears that fell down to his cheeks. A weak smile started to bloom, “I’m forever thankful for you as well, Y/N.”