#cause i think dean would definitely binge the show with Cas

[loki-lover84]

We Missed You

A/N This is my first attempt at a Castiel oneshot it isn’t great but I hope you enjoy it none the less.

Ever since Castiel found out what it was like to be human he'd started to get a grasp on peoples issues, especially emotions. We'd always been close friends and I'd always harboured a crush on the fallen angel and when he was temporarily human I could've sworn he returned them. Dean's constant teasing toward the pair of us made me want to believe it more than I originally thought I did. Eventually it got to the point were Cas sat down and asked Sam and Dean about feelings and why he felt 'funny' when he was around me,  I remember Dean cheering and being overly enthusiastic about it and Sam was just being supportive for him and tried to give him sincere advice over Dean's typical remarks. Even after overhearing the discussion I still couldn't bring myself to act on anything with Cas.

It was not long after that, that Castiel was returned to fallen angel status and now I knew that any possible chance of a relationship together was out of the window and would be frowned upon but, I couldn't control my feelings. Each day they got stronger and stronger for him, what I didn't know was that the same was happening to him.  The feelings he'd caught had stayed with him and it wasn't until a hunt nearly ended badly and resulted in my near death that Castiel confessed.

"I knew that human life could be very delicate and short but... I don't like the concept of ever  losing you Y/n, it's painful not physically of course but emotionally. When I was a human Sam and Dean brought it to my attention that what I feel for you is commonly referred to as love, after tonight I believe they were telling me the truth." Castiel confessed gazing at me with his sapphire blue eyes whilst his hand gently rested on my cheek as he healed me.

I don't think that I could ever forget his confession even if a witch cast a memory spell on me, it was so awkward and so Castiel. Once I was healed I placed my hands on both of his stubble covered cheeks and pulled him in for a kiss, right then and there not caring that the brothers and a flaming corpse were present. Since then Castiel and I had become a couple. Dean would constantly make jokes and tease us Sam would join in occasionally but mostly just left us to it.

Castiel had joined the brothers on a hunt and they'd left me at the Bunker because I'd been feeling unwell feverish, fatigued, vomiting and dizziness. That was over two weeks ago I've spent my days scrolling through group photos missing everyone and having no social interactions fucking sucked I'd binge watched various shows on Netflix, read up about lore on random creatures and figured out why I was unwell because of that I was absolutely terrified.

I was pregnant. My fallen angel boyfriend was nowhere in sight. We were alone.

A few days later

A loud thud reverberated in the corridors of the bunker startling me out of my daydream. Instinctively I dove for my angel blade and caressed my stomach promising to protect my baby, not knowing what to expect I took a deep breath and hesitantly left my room. Staying against to walls I ventured round the bunker to dispose of the intruder or intruders.

"Where do you think she is?"

"Well you couldn't have just expected her to be sitting out in the open in her condition."

"It's been weeks, she should be over it for now."

They knew! Were they Angels, Demons or something else? Either way this isn't going to go well, one pregnant hunter versus multiple unidentified beings. They were in the library judging by the how loud they were from the distance away I am. I can sneak through the map room and see what I'm up against before making some kind of plan of attack. Peeking around the wall I relax at the sight.

"Whatever you say but I mean we did leave her alone for quite some time I'd be amazed if she hasn't gone crazy."

"Gee, thanks D." I say making my presence known, "It's great to see you too."

"N/n! You're looking a lot better." Sam smiles standing up for a hug.

"That wasn't a hard goal to achieve, I'm pretty sure my head was in a toilet when we last spoke." I retort hugging the younger Winchester.

Dean stood up and made his way over to us as we parted.

"C'mon it's gotta be my turn now, right?" I look over to him for a moment before hugging him as well.

After separating I took in their appearance the pair of them bruised, bloodied and battered still.

"Your hunt looks like it went well... Where's Castiel?" I ask looking around the room.

Why hadn't he healed them I understand his grace is limited now but he'd still at least try to heal them.

"Oh he's-"

"He's what Sam? Where is he?" I ask frantically.

"I'm here." I hear an all too familiar deep voice say.

I turn to the direction of the voice and there I see him in the map room near the steps to the library. Quicker than I ever thought my body could move I ran over to him threw myself into his arms whilst kissing him. The kiss was deep, passionate and filled with love as he supported my body one arm around my upper back and his other supporting one of my legs.

An awkward cough sounded from behind me presumably from Dean causing us to stop the kiss, I stayed in his arms and rested my forehead against his.

"I love you." Cas whispered.

"We love you too and we missed you." I respond with a small smile losing myself in his oceanic eyes.

"What?" Dean exclaims.

"Is she? Y/n?" I hear Sam question.

Geez these guys are great listeners when they want to be. Cas hadn't responded which instilled fear in me.

"Angel radio was talking a lot about a possible Nephilim and I never once thought... Wow." Cas eventually responded with a smile on his face before kissing me sweetly.

"Does this mean we get to be uncles?" Dean asked excitedly.

Remaining in Castiel's arms he turned to his side so that I could look over at the brothers.

"Of course! I couldn't think of a better family for our child."I smiled sweetly at the enthusiastically giddy Winchester.

Later that night

I laid in my bed snuggled up to Cas being held in his warm embrace made me feel safer than I ever thought would be possible.

"Hey Cas, I was looking into Nephilim's and there weren't many cases but they all said that the mother died during childbirth... do-do I only have eight mo-months left?" I sniffled trying to hold back my tears.

"I won't let that happen if I can find out how to prevent it you'll live with me for all eternity." Castiel whispered back to me.

"But, I'm human I won't ever get to do that unless..."

"Unless what?" Cas perked up sounding hopeful that there was already a solution.

"You and the boys definitely won't approve but I'm willing to do it. There's always Rowena, she has a revival sort of spell that when she dies it brings her back but needs to be redone once it's revived you."

Castiel didn't do anything for a while until he pulled me closer to him.

"I don't trust her but, she could be our only hope we'll discuss it in the morning. Goodnight my love I'll watch over you two always." Cas hums kissing me on my forehead and resting his right hand on my so far unchanged stomach.

[incarnateirony]

Sometimes I feel like SPN’s greatest strength is its fandom’s weakness. And sometimes even the product itself.

When SPN started, it was very insular. The internet screamed at you in most parts of the world to connect. Cable was even pretty rare. It was on a small backwater channel and, even at its hottest fresh burst, was running 1/4-1/5 of the numbers of the leading competitors at the time. When SPN premiered just above a 2.x, Grey’s was running 9.x and was still well above 8.x by the time SPN fell to 1.x. It was a dedicated cult show, with fandoms communicating by postcard, huddled in moderated livejournal corners.

Kripke, Jensen and others have all mentioned SPN really getting its wings around S4 to have a sense of stability, and it even survived the digital conversion mandate, it survived the advertisement crash, it survived one of the biggest TV show culls in history while the landscape changed and, somehow, the ratings that year went /up/. But even still, just because it wasn’t riding the bubble anymore, didn’t mean it was huge.

It barely survived Ostroff’s mismanagement. It barely survived the season 7 crash under Gamble. And then CW struck a legendary deal, and binge watching became available on Netflix, while Carver shifted and serialized the show, now that both DVR and increasing-speed internet and streaming services became available. And within a year, SPN was an international phenomenon. Hell, by seasons 11+, it perpetually ran in the top 20 digitally called shows in the world, ranking higher each year.

I think this is really what caused, in every way shape and form, the constant fighting in fandom. 

I mean sure, we can talk about people who get stuck in ruts in what they think the show is supposed to be about. Those happen in every old as dirt fandom. For every Old School Fan in SPN I point you to Star Trek, to Star Wars, to whatever. You know, Back In My Day The Show Meant XYZ isn’t really a fresh thing to SPN.

But the fighting isn’t just about that. It’s about how to render characters. It’s about what makes good story flow. It’s about what dialogue means. In some corners, it’s about representation.

By and large the fandom endorses, “all interpretations are equal” -- which is valid to a point. Personally, I always asterisk it with “all interpretations are equal as long as your interpretation continues to work for you.”

But there’s some catch-22s to that. In a still developing piece, things change. That’s obvious. And what “works for you” seems to be difficult for some people to identify. I regret to inform you, if you have an interpretation, and yet the piece continues to divide further and further from your interpretation, and you continue to get angrier while the show seems to be going against your interpretation, then technically, no. Your interpretation is no longer working for you.

That is, if you choose to continue to consume content. There’s lots of ways to manage this. One can figure out at what point their interpretation broke away from the product and try to adapt -- you can take pointers from fandom, but realistically, it’s something to do yourself. Taking pointers from fandom tends to be what gets people into this mess where people get angry. You can choose to stop consuming new content and enjoy the canon within the sandbox that made you happy with your interpretation. Or yeah, you can stay angry and keep watching while you’re angry and refuse to figure out how to get un-angry, but I mean, why torture yourself. It’s your right and your decision of course, so I’m not going to tell anyone not to. That’s not the point of this.

Because ultimately that’s a small aside to the “interpretations are equal”, a general disclaimer appended, vs “still developing piece”, but the point I intend to make is it’s more than that. It’s more than Old Fan vs New Fan, it’s more than whatever weird totemic argument fandom ritualistically engages with and faps to. It’s...

A while back I mentioned offering to do an AV studies course. Technically drafts of it are still floating in my draft folder, just between life emergencies, life, covid pandemic, getting grossly ill, I’m just sitting here kind of empty. Full honest. But thoughts still come, so I blog, even while staring emptily at my half finished project in my video editor I don’t have the spoons to finish much less anything else.

But one of the things it was going to discuss was different things like Representations, Audiences, Ideologies, Language, and so forth. And this circles back to my point on this show’s strength and weakness, and how it falls into interpretation.

Two major impacts (I would be far from saying they are the only, or are they themselves laws that make someone somehow oblivious, but are major influencers when speaking of large groups of people) I’ve noticed are generation, and location. Such as... country.

SPN is a very Americana show. It’s filmed in America for America (hey, technically Canada is North America, but it’s definitely American oriented business/studios regardless of filming locale), often making American references, but even getting references doesn’t mean you’re really catching a lot. American shows do not follow the same time/format/delivery pattern as, say, Chinese or Korean shows. Go watch them, put them side by side if you have to of something in related-ish genres. Different cultures deliver their stories differently be it pacing, structure, symbolism and color, or whatever. What Japanese culture perceives out of the idea of a dog in symbolism is like wildly different than what American culture perceives out of a dog. 

Similarly each generation has its own language. I mean, watch boomers and zoomers talk right past each other and that isn’t hard to see in practice. 

Don’t even get me started on representation. America’s in a goddamn trashfire of Hays Code aftermath, which say, British people didn’t have to grow up with and may be used to entire other systems so they see Rando American Show elsewhere and go, well see! but that’s a whole other mess. Just... adding it to the equation (and vaguely thanking the Brits and other Europeans for shipping off so many gay ass films for decades that the MPAA couldn’t stop that they just gave up enforcing the code as much as letting cultural aftermath doing the work.)

So this show absolutely exploded, and like, it’s nobody’s fault that the entire sum of the fandom aren’t all like, media minds/eyes that pay attention to the different methods in international films. But it adds to a lot of talking past each other in the dialogue. It leads to a lot of expectations or readings that may be/seem valid to people because it’s what they know in their area. It leads to a lot of obfuscating of points, infinite carousels of suggestions and alternatives that, after dozens of millions of fans engage for a decade, just becomes a big relativistic vat, but a lot of lanes are now angry in every way. 

Like this isn’t a one-ship thing or one-lane thing, it’s a just about everybody thing. And it’s not about any one subject or angle or view of approach. These days, it feels like Everybody Is Mad About Everything. Their reads aren’t really working for them anymore, regardless of their lane (for every pissed off Wincester there’s a pissed off Destiel fan, for every pissed off Sam stan there’s a pissed off Dean or Cas or even Rowena stan these days). Everybody somehow seems permanently blindsided by Everything if you take the temperature of the sum of an entire lane as a general rule, rather than (impossibly) reading through every opinion in each lane and figuring out where people are still happy vs where they’re upset. Then of course groupthink kicks in and well, if Rando French Cas Stan is Outraged, I Should Be Too I Guess. Everybody’s mad, guess I should be mad, instead of trying to figure out why everybody everywhere is fucking mad.

So people each build interpretations, reasonable in their own way, from their own origins, in their own countries with their own styles, but somewhere along the line, there’s a fracture. The storytelling pacing they thought they knew vanished and turned out wrong. The character dialogue wasn’t what they interpreted out of it. The cinematic stuff they read was coded to a different language than they were used to reading (back to, say, dogs). People are flagged and pay attention to things that may mean nothing to a filmmaker in the area it’s made and other people completely miss things that may mean something to the filmmaker because it really doesn’t mean A Thing elsewhere.

Compound this by lanes, echo chambers, people collectively finding what they enjoy and is -- respectively -- convenient to their mindset. Add in ship warring, slap fights, wasted kilobits. Add in decentralization, globalization. There’s no leaders, no teachers, and frankly, there’s not even a real In The Know anymore. Most people are In The Know to some extent. Some more than others. Hell, the people who most loudly /publicly/ pose as In The Know are often hilarious bags of air that end up embarrassed a year later (here’s to looking at you, blogger that anti-ranted Friendship Fan now facing the return of the Subtweeting Turkey. You know who you are and what I’m talking about.) I mean sure, there are a few legit Secret Masters of Fandom. But that’s it. They’re Secret. You may kinda pick up the vibe between the lines, and maybe just maybe they’ll drop a few genuine hints here and there in public to try to tilt people ahead, but it’s not the clout chasing goblins around here that anyone really should listen to and I /think/ at large everybody’s kinda figured that out. Most SMOFs are just silent contacts that hide in DM boxes and casually ignore the raging thunderstorms in the wild.

So going back to how I started this post-- while SPN found its success mostly post-S8 from the globalization of the product making it a phenomenon -- more than any one ship (but that doesn’t help), more than any one demographic, it’s just... it feels like everybody’s talking past each other and nobody’s introspecting or considering that while, yes, people’s interpretations are valid to them as long as it works for them, that if it’s not REALLY working for them anymore, maybe they’re missing somewhere. Generationally. Culturally. Whatever it may be. And I don’t see any amount of me sitting here in a Thinking Man pose about it changing that, or changing a vast amount of minds, as much as I really just want to /speak/ the thought process.

Because like. I’ve always existed kind of in the grey space of fandom. I “ship” Destiel in so far as I simply can’t be budged from the value in the text be that by antis or honestly even shipping culture itself. I don’t escalate into rants just to prOVE the tRuTH. I write meta about mythology because it interests me. Who the fuck are you MikeDawg1783894jKFbetabitch82398123? why should I care, where is your self importance coming from. I am far too tired to bother explaining anything to anyone, and frankly, I don’t owe anybody jack shit. You know what, you do you. If you’re happy go be happy. If you’re not happy, stop spewing your misery at me. This isn’t hard. But people around here make it complicated for some reason.

The internationalism also harms the product to some extent. Parrot Analytics reveals that this Americana show with Americana origins and methods is also ... *primarily viewed in Russia.* Like, 3x the US audience size. SPN been running the top 15-20 digitally called shows in the world up there with big sling hitters like Grey’s Anatomy now? Grey’s, as I saId above, always dwarfed it. In live numbers we still do. But there’s that audience to account for online now, with SPN treading almost neck-and-neck with it.

Result? Well, with TV being a business, that means that they try to cater to Russia. And like, no hate on my Russian friends out there. ILU. There’s nothing wrong with you. But then it’s like trying to perform for an international audience that this studio is not designed nor predisposed to deliver content in the form of. Read as: whole new interpretive tire fire potential, new arguments. New mess. Just extra restrictions on a core business level about the do’s and don’t’s for authors. Cuz things that are cool in the US may not be cool in Russia and the other way around for that matter. 

So somewhere between “what business chooses to do” and “infinite cascade of fandom white noise, anger and confusion,” I feel lies in the same thing that has kept SPN so successfully on the air so long. It’s strength is it’s weakness, and it’s the international nature of it, the longer I think on it.

And no, I’m in no way implying international friends aren’t welcome or whatever. Most of my followers are international. That’s fine, I ain’t shitting on you or telling you to hang it up and go home. I just feel like a lot of this eternal static is based on this many cultures trying to argue interpretations of a work from an outside perspective with very few anchors on the methodology that drives it from within. And frankly, fandom hotbox dialogue doesn’t exactly lend itself to sitting and truly wanting to discuss the methodology, because people are so high-strung at this point, nobody wants to hear a POV that clashes with what they’ve built for themselves. Because you know, “my interpretation is valid.” I just... wish... people would assist their own health and mental health by, once it no longer is-- kinda figuring out why and where? be that for international reasons of film delivery, be that language, be that generational gaps, be that *WHATEVER* it may be. I feel like that’s a message not often-enough put out there in this fandom.

Like, hell, it’s okay to like. Just. Not watch new episodes. Play in the sandbox that worked for you when it still, like, worked for you. Watch it a million times. Write a million fics to it. It’s okay to not watch the Declared Popular Thing. You don’t have to shackle yourself to a piece when it’s no longer working for you, just like I don’t advise watching a show with a premise you hate only to yell about it from go. And furthermore-- if you do wanna keep going, it’s totally fair and okay to go, hm, I was wrong somewhere. Let me unplug this giant fandom screaming megaphone from my skull, go review, figure out for myself where the fandom egregore led me one way or another, let me find a new way to appreciate this piece as it continues to grow. But that ain’t gonna happen unless people truly want to surrender their current framing. And... you don’t have to. Not anymore than you HAVE to keep viewing. 

I’ve found, for example, a lot of internationals I talk to tend to be upset about something or another, or confused, or what have you. And the reasons vary. They aren’t dumb people. But somewhere they fell off the rails and struggle to get back on and whatever chamber of fandom they’re in isn’t helping. The internationals I find that don’t struggle with any part of it just outright tend to be people who like... specialize? be it film study or lit study or whatever the topic is that helps them bridge understanding; people who can discuss constructivist theory or have read enough books across their barriers that it all just kinda clicks. Doesn’t make them better or worse than anyone else. Not a better fan. Just... happier with the content, which is better for /them/. And that’s really what matters in the end, isn’t it?

So IDK what the solution to this musing really is, as much as trying to put my finger on the pulse, beyond the sticky underbelly that is shipping fandom and its many corners that people blame for a sum of it. And like. Yeah. Y’all know I’m not a fan of Shipping Culture. But I really don’t think My Ship Vs Ur Ship is all there really is to blame. 

The same reason for SPN’s success is often the same reasons for SPN’s fandom’s downfall, IMO.

[huntertales]

Part One: Life Isn’t A Book. (Slumber Party S09E04)

Episode Summary: The reader and the boys call in I.T. expert Charlie Bradbury to help track fallen angels with technology found in the Men of Letters bunker. However, they soon discover something more in the form of the one and only Dorothy from Wizard of Oz. Everyone joins forces to take down the Wicked Witch and her evil plans. Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader  Word Count: 4,038.

Previous Part | Supernatural Rewrite Masterlist

Like any other day when you weren’t working on a case, you sat in the war room with your laptop wide open and several files you grabbed from the archives spread around you. For the past hour you had been diligently working on a project while Dean left early this morning on a trip with Kevin. It had been just you and Sam in the bunker ever since, however you noticed he disappeared a few minutes ago without a verbal reason. You didn't think much of it before going back to your work, reading up on a file that you thought might have been the thing you were looking for. Before you could get a definite answer, you found your gaze lifting up from the paper and to what was in front of you after you heard approaching footsteps.

You raised your brow slightly in curiosity at what you saw the younger Winchester holding. It was a piece of blank paper and a black crayon. What he could have possibly needed it for, how or he even got a crayon in the first place, made you chuckle to yourself in amusement and catch the man’s attention. Sam stopped at the table and gave you a slightly confused expression as to what was so funny to you. 

“Are you off to draw me a pretty picture, Sammy?” You cracked a joke with the man. He lifted up the hand that was holding the black crayon in one hand, the blank paper in the other when he figured out that’s what you were focusing on. “What’s with the arts and crafts?”

"I'm gonna go talk to Crowley. See if he's willing to give us anymore names." Sam said. It sounded good in theory, but the younger man's plan made you lean back in the rolling seat and give him a hesitant look. "And obviously it'd be stupid to give him something that he could hurt us with, so...I improvised." 

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” You wondered. “I mean, the only reason why Crowley gave us names in the first place was because Kevin beat the crap out of him. That’s the equivalent of getting off to a demon like him.” 

“Yeah. Maybe we’ll get lucky and he’ll throw us a bone.” Sam said. He could see the confliction in your initial plan of how you wanted things to go. You wanted to let the demon sit in his own personal thoughts in the dungeon for long as you could, using what he had confessed back at the church to your own advantage. You wanted to push him to the point where he was almost desperate for any kind of interaction he would sing off every name he had up in that up in that brain. “What’s the worst thing that could happen? He gives us some side remarks?”

You quietly tapped your pen against the notepad you had next to you and bit your bottom lip. After a few seconds of deliberating you dropped your pen down to the table. Sam was right. There wasn't much you had to lose. The both of you headed down to the dungeon where Crowley had been sitting down by his lonesome for the past several days in complete darkness. Sam moved the shelves that were the makeshift doors to the secret room, the demon was blinded by the lights you turned on to see your way around without stumbling. You made your way inside first, greeting the demon with a smile as his eyes adjusted to the brightness he wasn't used to seeing.

"Hello, Kitten. Moose." Crowley welcomed you with the usual nicknames. Sam walked over to the table you provided for him and set the piece of paper and crayon down. The demon stared at the materials for a moment before back up to you. An amused look crossed his face at what you were asking from him. "You want more demon names." He suspected the reason why you were here in the first place after days of abandonment. The demon reached over and grabbed the piece of paper, only to crumple it up into a ball. "I want a room with a view." 

You and Sam exchanged a glance from the demon's demands you were expecting to hear at some point. Crowley thought you were desperate enough to give into any sort of his personal whims, or you were going to entertain a conversation with him. You felt a smirk spread to the ends of your lips, Sam chuckled in amusement. You followed behind the younger man when he began to make his way out, showing Crowley what you were going to do until he cooperated. You hoped something like solitary confinement would work on someone like Crowley, who found torture and threats nothing but something to do on a Friday night. So, you were going to do the opposite to him. No human contact. No entertainment. Nothing.

You didn't say goodbye to the demon before you made your way to the door and flicked off the lights, engulfing the room into darkness once more. The demon sank down into his seat when he heard the door slam shut, leaving him alone once more for who knows how long. 

You and Sam went back to work for a little while after giving Crowley some time to think about his limited options that he had left to participate. Sam sat across from you as he skimmed through some files you found in the archives you hoped might have been helpful for the project you had been working on all morning. The sight was no surprise to see when Dean arrived back from his trip. You looked up to see your boyfriend standing on top of the staircase after announcing his safe arrival back from the squeaky hinges of the metal door. 

"Hey." Sam greeted his brother, looking up from the case file after finishing up a sentence he was reading. "How'd it go with Kevin?"

Dean let out a sigh from the strange car ride he endured on his way to Missouri. "Oh, that little nerd is in a lovely warded motel room in Branson. He's got about forty-eight hours of pay-per-porn and Kenny Rogers ahead of him."

"How's he feeling?" You asked, curious to see how the kid was handling himself after being granted a much needed vacation a few states away from his problems. 

"Well, he stared at the angel tablet and repeated the word 'falafel' for the entire ride. Kid's cracked. I'm hoping this break will clear his head." Dean gave a small update on the prophet, making you start to worry about his dwindling mental state. Ever since you heard about his attempt at flying the coop you had been trying to keep an extra eye on him. Everyone was on high alert. You were stressed out of your mind, and it seemed Dean could sense all of you needed to pump the breaks. "You know, after everything that happened, I figured we could use a little break ourselves." 

"Really?" You asked, the tone of your voice shifting into pleasant sounding from what he was suggesting. "What were you thinking?"

"I picked you two up season one of 'Game of Thrones.'" Dean opened up the plastic bag from a store he stopped by on his way home and read off the title of the DVD he bought. "Figured we'd get a little takeout." 

"All right. Before we embark on a ten episode binge," You changed the subject to the project you had been working on during his absence away. "I think Sam and I might have found a way to help Cas." 

Dean glanced up from the details he was reading about on the back of the DVD and to you, suddenly appearing to be concerned. "Did you talk to him?"

"No. And by the way, I still don't understand why he left in the first place. I mean, the bunker is the safest place for him." You said. The reason Cas had given you before bolting still made you scratch your head. He was all for getting himself settled in here, and the next he was out the door without a proper goodbye. None of it made sense to you. "Bartholomew and who knows how many other angels are out there, gunning for him." 

"Hey, look, nobody wants him here more than I do, okay? But he felt like he'd bring trouble down on us, so he had to split." Dean's excuse made you look at him with slight disbelief. It sounded phony to you. You had faced plenty of danger in your lifetime and caused trouble with the wrong kinds of people. You could handle some angels, Dean didn't entertain your opinion for long as he threw his jacket to the table after taking it off. "But if you got a way to help him, I'm all ears."

"All right. So, Kevin said the table lit up like a Christmas tree when the angels fell, right?" You summarized the details about what happened that night. Dean nodded his head, seeming to be on the same page as you as you continued on with your theory. "So it turns out each light was where a cluster of angels fell. So I'm thinking maybe there's some way to hot-wire this, make it track angels. That way, we could help Cas steer clear of danger."

"This was...both of your ideas?" Dean looked between you and his brother, acting as if there was a third person here you were trying to steal the credit from out under them. 

You glanced around the room, your lips stretching into a small smile from how he was acting all of a sudden. "Actually, it was mine. Sam's been helping me out." You explained better to him. He looked over to his brother, as if he didn't believe you. "Do you see anyone else in here, Dean? Sometimes I do come up with good ideas."

"That wasn't what I..." Dean stopped talking when he saw you lean back in your seat, wondering exactly what he was going to say. He veered the conversation to where it belonged before he could get any more of his foot into his mouth. "So, how would it work?"

"Oh, no idea. See, at first, we thought the table was the computer, but it's not. It turns out it's just part of it. But Y/N found these cables underneath and we followed them." Sam told his brother the details you and him found extraordinary from the things you were learning about the place. Along with a history lesson on technology dated well over seventy years ago. Sam leaned out of his seat and pointed a finger to a set of red wires that disappeared into an air vent and broke out into a smile. "You're never gonna believe what we found."

The three of you headed to a part of the bunker you hadn't been to before yet. You discovered almost every chance you got. Over the months you had lived here you didn't have much time to go digging around the place, however you were given the perfect opportunity to discover what you guessed was the electrical room, filled with all sorts of different machines you had no clue did what just yet. The sight for someone like you and Sam put you at awe from the history that was under your nose. All around you was electric panels with the center of the room taken over by a dated machine with too many buttons and red lights you had been trying to figure out what they did.

"Volia." You gestured an arm to the scenery around you, stepping deeper inside the room with the boys following behind. 

"This is a computer?" Dean asked. He examined the outdated technology for a moment, still not exactly sure what he was looking at. 

"Yeah—or it was in 1951, when it was first installed. Now, here's the crazy thing. It's not plugged into anything. I mean, Y/N and I tried to figure it out." Sam said. You could hear the fascination in his voice, same as how he was when you discovered the room for yourself and showed him. "We have no idea what's making this thing work." 

Dean walked over to the back of the computer to take a better look at the thing you were working with. He placed his hand out and pressed it against the machine, his brow raised slightly when he felt warmth against his skin. It meant the thing was still working after these years, and even after the map went off. "It's warm here."

Dean found what appeared to be a flat screwdriver sitting on a nearby shelf that looked like it would be good enough to help him rip off the back panel and inspect the machine from the inside. He shoved the tool between a small crack and then began to slowly put pressure on the screwdriver, trying to jimmy the piece of metal free. When he noticed how much resistance he was getting, Dean put all of his strength into trying to get the thing to go free. He ended up stumbling back after the panel popped off and dropped to the ground with a noisy bang. He accidentally hit the shelf right behind him, and while the contents slightly shook, nothing fell. Dean pushed himself back up to a standing position, trying to pretend like nothing happened.

"Got it." He said. 

"Ya think?" You muttered. You crouched down and inspected the inside of the computer you hoped you might be able to understand if you got a peek inside. You quickly realized you had no idea what you were looking at. Sam pulled out a small flashlight from his back pocket to help give all of you a better look at what you were working with. "Huh. This isn't exactly what I was expecting."

"Well, that looks simple." Dean noted, sarcasm clear in his tone. "Does it come with a manual?"

"Nothing in the archives, and Y/N obviously couldn't find anything like it online," Sam said, telling his brother about the bump in the road you had been faced with. The both of you were pretty tech savvy. But even for you this was near impossible to figure out. "Not to mention I'm pretty sure that the Men of Letters doesn't have I.T. support anymore, either." 

"I think I know somebody who could help us." Dean said. "Come on." 

You and the boys headed out of the room and flipped off the lights, making your way back to the main area of the bunker to make a call to a friend you hadn't seen in a few months. However you didn't realize when Dean stumbled into the shelf there was something hiding back there in a clear glass jar. A pale grey goo that held something sinister for over seventy years. What you unleashed was something almost out of a book. 

+ + +

A little later into the day was when Charlie Bradbury, your favorite LARPer and tech genius, arrived in Lebanon safely after you gave her a call about the trouble you were facing. And only someone like her could come to your rescue. You didn’t realize she had arrived, distracted by Dean when he surprised you with a cup of coffee after he put a fresh pot on. And exactly the way how you liked it. You smiled in appreciation and mumbled a thank you, sneaking a quick kiss when he leaned down and pressed his lips against yours, thinking you had a minute before a certain some made her arrival. 

“Hey. Get a room you two.” The both of you broke away and looked up to see Charlie was here, Sam following behind as they made their way down the stairs. “There’s my favorite lovebirds.”

“And there’s my favorite redhead.” You joked back with her. You placed down your cup to the table and got up from your seat to welcome her, pulling the young woman into a tight hug after Dean greeted her first. "Thanks for coming on such short notice. Sam and I tried figuring it ourselves, but we're stumped. Dean thought our favorite I.T. tech would be able to come to our rescue." 

"Not a problem." Charlie gave you a smile of appreciation when you thought of her. You watched as it faded away when she finished her sentence, dropping a bit of bad news you weren't expecting to hear. "especially since I got fired last week." 

"Hey, what?" Sam was surprised at hearing this. He placed her overnight bag down on the table next to him. "What happened?"

"Turns out the company I work for was outsourcing to child labor, so I took a big Wikileak all over that." Charlie was a fighter behind the screen. While it wasn't technically legal, you couldn't help the smile that spread across your lips after hearing what she had done, adding a playful wink of approval. "And, yeah. It's cool, though. It's given me more time to focus on my hobbies...like larping, macrame," she listed off a few of her favorite things you learned she liked from the first time you formally met her months back. She tried slipping one more in, hoping you and the boys wouldn't notice. “...And hunting.” 

"Excuse me?" You were taken off guard by hearing what she had been doing in her free time. Part of you wanted to be disappointed at the danger she was putting herself in. Someone like you, who had been doing this for almost a decade, knew the mental toll that took on you after a while after you glossed over the dangers of cutting your life short. But Charlie was here in one piece, and her bubbly self. Dean was alarmed and Sam appeared to be taken back at her step towards the lifestyle.

"Okay. It was a couple of little cases. I took down a teenage vampire and a ghost." She tried to explain herself while you and Dean stared at her with a scolding expression that reminded her of her parents. You had your brow raised like how her mother used to while Dean stood behind you with his hands on his hips. The disapproval was written all over your face. You wanted better things for her. But you couldn’t deny the temptation of the lifestyle. "Which sounds like a Y.A. novel if you say it out loud." 

"Charlie," Sam spoke the young woman's name, breaking her concentration away from your face and over to him. All of you were more concerned at how she was handling herself after getting a taste of danger by herself. "How'd it go?"

"It was, uh...it was intense. But I kind of wish hunting was more...magical, you know?" You let out a heavy sigh as Dean rolled his eyes from the young woman's perception of how she thought hunting was always going to be. She realized you weren’t amused as you were, causing her smile to fade away and focus on the reason why she was here in the first place. “Nevermind. So, where is this commodore sixty-four of yours?”

All of you headed down to the electrical room where you showed her the piece of machinery she would be working with. You weren’t sure if she was going to be able figure out something like this considering how dated it was. When she caught sight of the computer, Charlie’s face lit up like a kid in a candy store, she rushed over to inspect the beauty for herself. You and the boys watched as she took a minute to inspect what she could to get a better understanding of what you were about to ask of her. She crouched down to the ground to inspect the inner workings as you leaned over every so often when you heard her mumble something underneath her breath. ‘

“Sweet Ada Lovelace. This thing belongs in a museum. I mean, it’s got encryption software. It seems to be powered by something magical.” Charlie listed off a few of the things she figured out on her own after taking a peek around at the inner workings. Dean was fascinated as much as he could, but he pushed her along to the end, wanting to know what it really did. “It’s kind of an alarm system. Global badness? It freaks. This computer is what locked this place down.”

“Can we use it to track angels?” Sam asked.

You knew what you were asking from her was a lot from such dated technology. Charlie thought about the task for a second or two before she decided the challenge was something she was up to. She cracked her knuckles and grew a smirk. "All right. Let me see what I can do.”

Charlie worked her magic and figured out a system that would work. You and the boys watched as she tinkered with the insides for a little while and pulled out some wires and pulled in a few cords into an outlet. Soon enough she grabbed her tablet and began to tap the screen, finishing the final task. “All right. It took some doing, but now we can download. This beast has all the Men of Letters files. Time for a little drag-and-drop.” 

“Wow. It’s a start. Thank you. That’s great.” You were very much thankful for the hard work she had put in. While you were grateful, there was something else you and the boys wanted to try and discuss now that you had a minute free. Dean urged you to get the ball rolling when he gently nudged you in the side with his elbow. “So, you’ve been hunting. Alone.” 

“I know. Not a good idea, according to the ‘Supernatural’ books.” Charlie rolled her eyes from her amature moves that she should’ve known better after reading all the series, treating them as if they were a guide. You grimaced at the mention of those things you tried to avoid much as possible.

“You really can’t delete those from the internet?” Sam couldn’t help himself but ask, making you give him a slightly confused look. He seriously thought those things were still underground with no popularity to attract mainstream attention. Everything was digital these days. And so were those books. No matter what, they were going to haunt you forever.

“Not even I can do that.” Charlie said. “Come on.” 

“Where do you even find them?” Dean asked. 

“A top secret place I call Amazon.” You replied back to the man. While your tone of voice was serious, the sarcasm was clear enough for him to give you an amused expression. “Seriously. Get used to it. They’re gonna be in our lives forever.”

“And someone uploaded all the unpublished works.” Charlie added on to the disaster. You let out a frustrated sigh at the mention of the tale that went on farther than the finale where you and Dean died and went to hell. You would have been fine with that. For a moment you thought it might have been Chuck who uploaded his own work, but the culvert who did it was someone close to him. And was the biggest fan of it all. “I thought it was fanfic at first, but it was clearly Edlund’s work. Their screen name was BeckyWinchester176. Ring any bells?”

“None. Uh, nobody’s. Uh, no, there are no bells. Uh...no.” Sam stumbled his way to an answer. You tried your hardest to keep a smile from going when you saw him become flustered at the mention of someone who had been obsessed with him. Dean stared at his brother, slowly shaking his head from his behavior. 

“Ugh, these files are encrypted. This is gonna take a while.” Charlie said. While she was going to be here for longer than intended, she decided to make use of the time by having a little fun. “So, takeout, sleepover, braid each other’s hair?”

Sam suddenly got hit with a plan that everyone would enjoy. “I got an idea.”

[Next Part]

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[lovedsammy]

half light; sam/cas [commission for @avalonsilver]

Commission for my good friend @avalonsilver! The request was for a fic where the alternate, past!Castiel from 14.13 is brought back (by Chuck), pissed that Sam banished him and out to get revenge for it. He attacks Sam, and our Cas comes to his rescue. But to save Sam, Cas needs to take the grace of this other Castiel. The kicker? If he does, he will forget Sam, Dean, and everyone else he’s ever known. So Cas is faced with the choice: does he save Sam’s life, or choose to forget him, at the expense of Sam’s safety?

This is pre-established Sastiel (kinda; they’re figuring things out!), and takes place after 15.09. So kind of spoilery if you don’t know anything about the upcoming ep (hint: Sam is stuck with Chuck. This fic takes place after he gets away from him). 

(I totally listened to ‘Half Light’ by Banners during this btw, just fyi!)

-

Castiel lands like a fiery meteor upon the earth, dumped on the ground in an unceremonious heap. It’s undignified for an angel, he thinks, completely unbecoming. The first thing he registers is annoyance at the current state of his vessel. The clothing and hair is in disarray, and he smells of smoke. The next is righteous anger that the insignificant little human that was Sam Winchester had caused this. Castiel had only heard of him up until now, the boy with the demon blood. In some way, the angel guesses he’d been somewhat fascinated with the idea of the man who’d been born to become Lucifer’s true vessel. Meeting him had dissolved that fascination all together. The boy had no idea of his place. He’d used his tainted blood to send Castiel away, had weaponized it against Heaven and all it stood for. Zachariah would not be pleased, were he still alive. But he wasn’t, because Sam Winchester had killed him. 

The boy was going to be a bigger problem than he was worth. He had somehow disrupted the natural timeline and caused the deaths of angels with seemingly no regard for the consequences. So Castiel would make him understand, make him pay for the transgressions he’d committed against Heaven. He’d make Sam Winchester revere him, bow to him, and learn his place before he died. 

And if Dean Winchester tried to interfere, well - he’d learn, too. Heaven needed Dean alive and cooperative - they never said anything about unharmed.

Castiel searches for Sam’s current location, fixating on his presence, and detects it about 1,568 miles from where he is.

He takes off in a rapid flap of wings. 

-

Sam needed some fresh air. 

After escaping Chuck’s clutches, his brother was holding his hand a little too tightly when it came to readmission into the outside world. They hadn’t gone out for over a week, and if Sam tried to go for a run, it was always with Dean - or Cas, at Dean’s request - accompanying him. It was incredibly frustrating, the constant chaperoning. But Sam understood the reason for Dean’s current bout of overprotectiveness -- he was worried about Chuck nabbing him again. But it wasn’t like Chuck couldn’t get into the bunker and haul Sam off from there if he’d really wanted to. And Sam couldn’t just stay locked up inside forever.

“I need to get out, Dean,” He’d said, exasperated, when he brought the issue up to his brother. “We all do. God’s not gonna stop just because we’re hibernating inside. If he wants to get at me, he’s gonna get at me. I’m done hiding. I’m going for a grocery run, because frankly, man, I need some actual food and not the junk we’ve been gorging on all week.”

Cas had looked up from the book he was skimming through. “Sam’s right, Dean,” He agreed. “He can’t stay locked up in here. Neither can you. I can go with him, if that makes you feel better.”

Sam could tell that Dean wasn’t fully comfortable with the idea, but after a long moment, he’d nodded. “Yeah, all right,” He relented. “I’m sorry, Sammy, for breathing down your neck. You’re right. I know it’s stupid. It’s just… let Cas go with you, okay? Please? Just for now, just until…” 

Sam sighed, but the extent of Dean’s concern admittedly made his heart swell. “Okay, yeah,” He’d agreed. He enjoyed Cas’s company, and wouldn’t mind him tagging along, if even just to appease Dean. So he’d nodded at Cas, who’d jerked up instantly and come over to his side. 

“We’ll be back before you know it,” Sam had assured his brother, patting him comfortingly on the shoulder.

- 

It wasn’t often that Sam kept the windows rolled down when he drove, but tonight, he does. He breathes in the mild night air, inhaling leisurely. It feels refreshing after the long period inside. Cas glances over at him, lips twitching. 

“It’s about to rain,” The angel says conversationally. “I can taste it.” 

Sam laughs. “Really? And what does rain taste like to an angel? For me, it just tastes like water.”

Cas hums, thinking it over. “It’s hard to describe. It has a very strong earthy taste. Not like dirt, but… if air had a smell to it. It’s atmospheric, a mixture of gases that you are unable to taste, much less identify. Your mind recognizes it as water because it is unable to reach the capacity for beyond that.”

“Huh,” Sam says, intrigued.

He always learned so many interesting things when Cas was around, like the difference in biology between a human and an angel, for instance. Dean made fun of them for the late night class sessions, calling it ‘getting their geek on.’ Sam and Cas would roll their eyes simultaneously, and then head off hand in hand ,just to annoy Dean, to Sam’s room to binge more Netflix. The affronted look they got from Dean made it worth it every time. 

They finally arrive at the grocery store and get various breakfast, lunch, and dinner items, plus pie for Dean. It’s as he’s paying for the purchase that Sam gets the first inclination that something isn’t right - he feels like he’s being watched. A chill goes up his spine and he blinks, looking around, startled. Cas gives him an inquisitive look, but Sam just smiles at him. He was probably just being paranoid. Perhaps subconsciously, Sam on some level was worried about Chuck, too. Thanks, Dean, he thinks wryly. It’s contagious.

When they enter back out to the parking lot, the sensation is there again, stronger than before. Sam shakes his head as if to clear it, coming to an abrupt stop. No, something was definitely…. 

“Sam? What is it?” 

“I don’t know,” Sam murmurs. “I keep thinking…there’s someone. It feels like….” He trails off, looking at Cas.

Cas is instantly on alert. “Is it Chuck?” 

“I don’t know, I…” 

A sudden blast erupts around them and Castiel goes flying half-way across the parking lot, ejected high into the air before landing loud and painfully onto the hood of a car.

“Cas!” 

Sam makes to run to him, when a figure manifests before him and Sam’s stomach lurches. “W-What…?” 

It’s... Castiel. 

Sam’s confused beyond all hell. He opens his mouth to speak when Cas quickly seizes him, pinning him against the car with a hand clamped around his throat. Sam squirms under the pressure, trying to get free.

 “Cas? What the hell?” 

“Be silent.” The angel snarls. “Heaven has allowed you to exist, Sam Winchester, when we could reduce you to dust whenever we should choose. You are an abomination on the highest level, just as Lucifer.” He leans forward, closer to Sam, and sniffs. “You reek of it, the blood that Azazel has tainted you with. Your soul itself is smeared.” 

Sam’s choking on the painful grip, not understanding what’s happening, why Castiel is attacking him, or saying such things. The angel uses his other hand to pull at Sam’s hair, forcing his head up. 

“You are going to learn to show me respect, abomination. You are going to grovel at my feet, at Heaven’s feet, and beg for forgiveness. I will embed the price of your sin into you as you beg for death.” He removes the hand from Sam’s throat only to redirect it into the younger Winchester’s face. The back of Sam’s head collides with the side window, and he groans loudly. Castiel continues the assault, dragging Sam forward and shoving him head first through the windshield, pieces of glass flying everywhere, jagged edges cutting into Sam’s flesh. He falls to the pavement with a gasp, trying and failing to fight the angel off of him. 

“Cas, stop,” He says weakly, holding up his hands. “It’s me.” He remembers now. This was the Castiel that he and Dean faced in the alternate timeline, when their father had returned. But they’d fixed that, hadn’t they? Sam had banished him… 

“My name is Castiel, and you will address me as such.” Castiel growls, standing over him. “How dare you refer to me with such a condescending name, speaking of me with familiarly, as if we know each other.” 

“We do,” Sam insists around a mouthful of blood. “Cas, please, you’re my friend, you’re --” 

“Sam!”

Sam raises his head to see Castiel, the real Castiel, his friend and whatever they were now, running towards him, eyes wide and angel blade clutched in his hand. 

The other Castiel stares at him in shock. “You… you’re….?” 

“I’m Castiel,” The real Cas snaps. “As are you. We are one and the same. I’ve heard of you. You’re me, but from the past. You’re who I was before I met the incredible man that you seem to take pleasure in manhandling. I don’t know how you got here, or what you’ve been led to believe, but it’s a lie. Sam is my friend, and I do not appreciate the harm you are dealing to him. So let him go.” He brandishes the blade threateningly, taking a step forward. “Now.” 

The other Cas’s eyes narrow. “What has happened to you?” He demands. “You have befriended the taint of Heaven? You offer him protection? How far have you fallen? You and I are not the same. The mission, our mission, was to stop Sam Winchester, and offer Dean Winchester the sanctuary of Heaven. Our mission was to inspire the brothers Winchester to start the Apocalypse, and become the Vessels.” 

“That mission was a farce,” Castiel replies tersely. “It was orchestrated by Heaven, not because our Father commanded it. Castiel, you should know this. How many times have you, have I, have we questioned Heaven’s objectives? How many times have we been reprogrammed by our superiors for doing so?” 

The other Cas looks confused now. “Reprogrammed?” 

“Yes,” Castiel says impatiently. “Your head, just as mine, has been washed clean over and over. Do you know why? Because of our love for humanity. Our love for the man before you that you insist on submitting to your will. You do not know him, Castiel, not truly. Not yet. But you will. And who you are now is who I once was. Who I am now is who you will become.” 

Perplexed, the alternate Castiel’s eyebrows furrow, and the pressure on Sam’s hair decreases slightly. “Heaven’s will is absolute. I don’t understand.” 

“I know you don’t,” Castiel says almost gently, beginning to approach further. “Believe me, I didn’t for a long time. But you have been deceived. I am not your enemy. And neither is Sam Winchester.” 

Sam watches the pair of them, hardly daring to breathe. He didn’t remember past Castiel being this aggressive about Heaven’s commandments. Something was off, more than the other Cas being brainwashed to obey without contention. Even while it was true that the other Cas had beat the shit out of him, it’d been robotic and without any feelings involved. He wants to voice this, but as he looks up at the alternate version of his friend, the hateful look he gets makes him go pale. 

The grip on his head is back in full force, and Sam cries out. The other Castiel’s eyes are aglow in blue. “No,” The angel growls. “Sam Winchester is Heaven’s enemy, and therefore he is mine. He has to die here and now. Stand down, and I may choose to let you continue existing in this current time.”

“No!” Terror grips Castiel and he surges forward, ready to attack.  

“Ah, don’t you just love crossovers?”

The new voice makes everyone pause, and Sam’s heart stutters. Oh no....  

“Chuck.” Cas declares, eyes flashing dangerously. “What are you doing here?” 

Chuck raises a hand. “Relax. Just catching the newest episode of my favorite show. And oh man, what a show! Two Castiel’s? Sam Winchester caught between them? Not exactly my cup of tea, this would be more up Becky’s alley for a slash fic, but, hey! When life gives you lemons, right?” He smiles wide, nodding at the other Cas. “Well, what are you waiting for? Kill him already.”

The other Castiel hauls Sam painfully up to his knees, going for his throat again, the force of his grip so strong that it makes Sam’s eyes almost bulge out of his head. 

“N-No..” 

“Don’t you dare!” Cas yells, striding forward again. “Don’t make me kill you. Let him go!” 

“Yeah, that’s not gonna happen,” Chuck says easily, amused. “There’s no point trying to reason with this Castiel. See, I made him for this very purpose. I kind of played around with his machinery a bit. This version of you is not going to protest against Heaven’s orders. There’s no crack in his chassis. This Castiel will do whatever I ask him to. He has no emotional attachment to Sam, unlike you.” 

Sam stares blearily at him through his fringe. Of course he was behind this. Blood is pouring from his mouth and nose, and he thinks his arm may be broken. “Cas,” He wheezes. 

The fear in Sam’s voice and the fact that he’s turning a dark shade of red makes Cas finally act. He closes his eyes, hating what he must do, but knowing there was no choice, not if it meant saving Sam. “I’m sorry.” He plunges the angel blade as far as it will go into the other Castiel. 

But there’s no reaction. No sign of pain, nor blinding light. He was still standing, still alive. But it’s effective - the grip on Sam lessens slightly, enough that he can get some oxygen back into his aching lungs. The other Cas twitches his wrist, flinging Castiel backward and back to the ground again. 

“Killing him isn’t gonna work,” Chuck continues as if he hadn’t been interrupted. “There’s only one way to stop him, Cas. You need to take from him what Metatron once took from you. Then you can save Sam. But!” He holds up a finger, smirking, as Cas clambors back to his feet. “Before you decide to spring forward to help him, you may want to think about this. To save Sam, you’ll need to take the other you’s grace. But if you take his grace… there’s going to be some, ah, adverse side effects, we should say. You will forget Sam. You’ll forget Dean. You’ll forget your son, Jack. You’ll lose them, all memory of them, and who you are now. Tell me, is saving Sam really worth that to you?” 

Castiel pauses as Chuck’s words sink in, feeling helpless. He didn’t want to forget them, his friends, or Jack. He didn’t want to forget Sam, and his love for him. He didn’t want to lose himself, to go back to being the unfeeling warrior standing before him. Everything he was now was because of Sam and Dean, and his love for them. 

“Cas,” Sam calls out urgently. “Cas, don’t do it. Don’t lose yourself, not for me.”

Castiel looks at Sam and can hardly believe that he’s real. Such a beautiful creature this man was, so loving and selfless and irreplaceable. The world would never recover from losing Sam Winchester. There was no contender. Sam could never ask Castiel to sacrifice him for the sake of himself. 

The decision was made before Chuck had even really given him the choice. He’d choose Sam every time. Cas can tell that Sam knows, sees the weight of the realization on the younger Winchester’s face, the way his eyes widen. 

“No. No, no, Cas, don’t.”  

“Didn’t I tell you once before, Sam?” Cas smiles resolutely. “Nothing is worth losing you.” 

Effortlessly, he brings the blade forward and swings. It glides horizontally across the other Castiel’s throat, slitting it in half. Cas doesn’t wait to watch the life leave his counterpart’s eyes before he opens his mouth and swallows the brilliant white glow whole. 

He thinks he hears Chuck laughing behind him, but ignores it. The sensation of the grace fills him up, and he can feel them slipping - his memories. His emotions. He tries to cling to them still, those precious fleeting moments in his long, long life. It’s terrifying, the way they start to slip away. “No, no,” He whispers. “Come back. Please, don’t…” 

“Cas… Cas…” 

Cas feels Sam’s hands on his face, sees his brilliant hazel eyes staring back at him. Sam looks terrified, guilty, heartbroken. Cas wishes to calm him, even in the depth of his own fear. He raises a finger to swipe the tear on Sam’s cheek away. 

“It’s all right, Sam,” Cas tells him. 

Sam shakes his head. An instant later, he’s pressing his lips to Castiel’s, and the connection it creates is beautiful. If this is how he’s going to forget the man that he loves, then perhaps it’s not so bad. Cas waits, but nothing’s happening. It all stops. Sam is still kissing him, more passionately now, and Cas lets himself get lost in the feeling of Sam’s lips on his own. The memories that Castiel could feel slipping before are suddenly at the forefront of his mind. 

“No!” Chuck shouts, drawing both of their attention enough to break the kiss. “Damn it, this wasn’t supposed to happen.” He looks furious, put out, and vanishes into the night.

Sam whips his head around to look back at Cas just as the sky opens up and rain descends upon them. “Cas? Cas, are you…?”

“I’m fine,” Cas says in disbelief. “I still remember, Sam. I remember everything.” He presses two experimental fingers to Sam’s forehead and easily heals the damage. “And I’m fully me again.”

Sam laughs in pure elation, resting his forehead against Cas’s as the rain seeps under their clothes and onto their skin. 

[charlie-minion]

21 Supernatural Questions

I was tagged by @amwritingmeta – thank you for including me, sweetie. You’re so lovely! I gotta tell you that it honestly made my day when I read that one of my favorite meta writers considers my blog one of her favorites, so yeah… thanks! :’D

Now let’s tackle these super fun questions ;-)

1. When did you start watching Supernatural?

I remember I watched for the first time around 2009. Season 4 was on, here in my country, on Warner Channel. I’m sure that season had already finished in the U.S. at that time, but it was just starting to air here in El Salvador. I didn’t know anything about the show and I didn’t know what season that was either, but now I know it was 4 because all I remember was that some dude had rescued another dude from Hell. Period. I understood next to nothing about the plot because I hadn’t seen any episode prior to the beginning of S4. I caught a few episodes now and then and continued to watch for some time until the schedule changed. The eps started to air at 11:00 p.m. and I had to get up early for work, so I stopped watching.

In 2013, I spent one year living in North Carolina with my older sister. I was having a difficult time, so I moved to my birth country (USA) to escape everyone and everything. I had no TV in my room, but I had my laptop and my sis had the first 7 seasons of Supernatural, so I was like, “Hey! I might FINALLY understand that freaking show that looked so cool”. That’s how I started. I wasn’t planning to binge-watch the whole thing, but it became addictive pretty fast.

I loved the first 3 seasons, but once I got to season 4 and Castiel was introduced, I was hooked for real! When I watched season 5 and I saw the “I did it, all of it, for you” from 5x02, I started Googling Dean and Cas, because I was SO SURE I was seeing romance there, and I couldn’t be the only one. I was super excited when I found out there was a Supernatural FANDOM (back then I had no idea that was a thing). And I was even more excited when I learned about Destiel, about shipping, and about all the fandom culture. I joined Twitter, became a Misha stan because the more I read about him, the more I adored him, and I got caught up just in time to watch 8x17 live.

Can you imagine becoming a Dean/Cas shipper all on my own, doing research, finding out about Destiel and then the VERY FIRST EPISODE I watched live, while living in the U.S., was Goodbye Stranger written by Robbie Thompson?!! Those were the days!

I have been watching live, along with the fandom, ever since March 20, 2013. I joined Tumblr during the hiatus and started writing meta (accidentally) at the very beginning of season 9. So yeah! This show has been a very important part of my life for over 6 years now, and I don’t want to think about how things might change after the show ends. NOPE. Not thinking about it AT ALL. (At least not yet).

2. Who is your favorite in TFW?

I absolutely LOVE my three boys. I want them to be happy because they deserve it. But, we can all have a favorite, right? I was a Dean!girl when I started binge-watching. When Cas was introduced, I became a huge Cas fan, and I thought he had become my favorite. However, lately I’ve understood that I became a huge MISHA fan, and that’s a little different. If we’re talking about the SPN cast, Misha is and will always be my favorite because he’s a real life angel. I love that man with all I have! But, if we’re talking about the SPN characters, I have to admit that I will forever be a Dean!girl, no matter what.

I’ll continue after the cut because, apparently, it’s impossible for me to give brief answers :P

3. Who is your least favorite in TFW?

This question sounds cruel, but I want to understand it in a ranking way, not in an “I hate this character” one.

If I have to rank TFW, for me, it would be:

Dean

Cas

Sam

HOWEVER, let it be known that I love my three boys immensely, and I want a happy endgame for the three of them. If Dean and Cas had a happy ending, but Sammy didn’t, that would ruin it for me. Ranking doesn’t equal hating.

4. Tag your top 5 Supernatural blogs!

I’ve said I follow very few blogs because I curate my fandom experience a lot, but you guys make my time on Tumblr extraordinary. I enjoy seeing you in my dash, reading what you blog or reblog and just knowing that you’re around as part of this community. If you answer these questions, please tag me ‘cause I’d like to read what you got to say about our beloved show. Much love to each of you! ♥♥♥♥♥

@dimples-of-discontent @mittensmorgul @cas-you-assbutt-dean-needs-you @naruhearts @casthegrumpy @fangirlingtodeath513 @bluestar86 @viva-la-cockles @obsessionisaperfume @caswouldratherbehere @perfectlyelegantdelusion @occamshipper @amwritingmeta (and no, Annelie, I’m not tagging you because you tagged me; you truly deserve to be here). 

If you’re not tagged, please forgive my poor memory, but if we’ve talked before, or I reblog/like your posts, please know that I adore you. ♥

5. Who is your favorite character (not including TFW)?

Oh my! This is so hard to answer. Supernatural has had so many amazing characters that choosing only one is hard. But I guess I have to go with Charlie Bradbury. The only time I seriously considered to stop watching the show was when Charlie was killed off. I was very angry and disappointed, and 10x21 became an episode I truly hate. I don’t think I have ever re-watched the whole ep because the writing was SO BAD. Dean and Sam were stupid in that ep, and Cas was basically a lamp. I… NOPE. Disgusting episode for sure. And I lost my beautiful lesbian queen.

 6. Who is your favorite woman in Supernatural?

I should say Charlie again, but because she got covered in my favorite non-TFW character, I will choose someone else for favorite woman.

And that has got to be Rowena. I don’t think there has ever been a female character in Supernatural written better than Rowena. And because the show’s ending, there will never be.  

7. John or Mary?

Definitely Mary. We got to know her better. I know certain parts of the fandom didn’t care much for her, but I loved her a lot, not despite her flaws but because of them! She was made human in a realistic way. We had only seen the idealized version of her through Dean’s eyes, but once we got to meet the real Mary, it was something I enjoyed. John, on the other hand, is not a bad person, but he wasn’t the best parent. He loved his children, and I know that, but his love doesn’t negate all the crap he put his sons through, even if his intentions came from a good place. I like the closure the boys got with him in 14x13, though. I was not against it at all. But, as John would say in that ep, “Me versus your mom? That’s – that’s not even a choice.”

8. What were your first opinions of Sam, Dean, Cas, and Jack?

Dean: Since the first moment I saw Dean, I knew he was faking and was trying to hide how broken he felt. That’s why I fell in love with him from the get-go.

Sam: My first opinion was that he was supposed to be the mature and detached brother.

Cas: I thought that he was meant to be the epitome for the enemies to friends trope. (And I added “to lovers” one season later).

Jack: The only opinion I had was that he was going to be the opposite of Lucifer. The characters were saying he was evil way too early for it not to be subverted. 

9. What’s your favorite season?

There are many seasons I love. I mean, this show has given us SO MUCH. But, season 8 is probably my favorite for two reasons. First of all, because it was the first one I watched live once I caught up. And to this day, the season finale still blows my mind.

And second, because it was when Carver took the reins of the show and did his best to fix the Gamble era. He gave the Dean/Cas dynamic a serious note, narratively speaking. I’ve said before that even though I shipped Destiel in the previous seasons, it wasn’t until season 8 that I saw an intentional development. It wasn’t played for kicks and laughs anymore, and it wasn’t just Misha’s and Jensen’s doing either. It was in the plot. The whole ‘I stayed one year in Purgatory just to get you back’ and all the ‘I couldn’t bear to think you didn’t want to come with me, so I chose to make it my fault’. Season 8 marked a new era, indeed, and Destiel became a real thing from then on, in my opinion.  

10. What’s your least favorite season?

Even though there are some episodes from that season that I truly love (and they’ve become memorable, like The French Mistake or The Man Who Would Be King), as a whole, I don’t enjoy season 6 much. After a formidable season 5, Sera struggled to keep the boat afloat and it shows. Season 6 is certainly the weakest.

11. Opinions on Destiel?

My whole blog was born because of Destiel, so? What do you want me to say? Hahahaha. Destiel is life. And I can divide my opinion in 4 (depending on the showrunner):

Destiel was a fortunate accident during the Kripke era. It was played for laughs and it was the result of whatever was going on between Jensen and Misha. Their chemistry had nothing to do with the script.

Destiel was a tool during the Gamble era. I don’t like to use the word “queerbait”, but I think the closest Supernatural has been to that was when Sera was the showrunner. It seems to me like she used the ship to lure the fandom and keep the audience, but it’s clear she had no intention of giving a resolution (we all know how she treated Misha, so…).

Destiel became an intentional part of the narrative during the Carver era. As I said before, it wasn’t until season 8 when you could clearly see that things were not accidentally there anymore. It wasn’t a joke, either. The ship sailed for real during the Carver era, but Jeremy was not allowed to give a resolution because the show continued to be renewed.

Destiel became canon during the Dabb era. I mean, I know people will argue that it’s not canon yet. And I understand what they mean. But, in my opinion, Destiel hasn’t been TEXTUALLY made canon, but when Andrew took the reins of the show, he made Dean and Cas sooooo married that I came to the conclusion explaining the subtext was unnecessary. It was WAY too in the nose to need explaining. So, I stopped trying hahaha. I don’t know if we’ll ever get Textual Canon Destiel, but in regards to Subtext, it can’t get more canon than that. And noooo, that doesn’t mean queerbait at all. Queercoding is a thing, you know?

12. Do you believe Supernatural queerbaits?

As per my previous answer, currently I don’t think Supernatural queerbaits. I do believe Dabb, Bobo and company want to give the Dean/Cas storyline a satisfying resolution. I have no idea what they will be allowed to do, but even if they can’t textually give us what we want, I have faith they will find a subtextually strong way to wrap things up. I enjoyed when Misha and Jensen explained in the DC Cockles panel the restrictions the CW puts, and I think it applies to so much more than blood and language.

13. Seasons 1-7 or 8-14?

Seasons 8-14, no doubt. For two reasons: 1) They are really good (and gave Destiel relevance) and 2) those are the seasons when I was already part of the fandom and could enjoy week after week.

14. Favorite villain (plot wise)?

I think Chuck is the best of the best. Because when we look back, we now know that all the other villains were thanks to Chuck’s machinations. Plot wise that’s amazeballs! I mean, the fact that we always thought (or hoped) that God was on the Winchesters’ side just to learn he was the villain all along. Chef’s kiss!

 15. Do you think they should end the Lucifer plot line?

I think they squeezed the freaking Lucifer plot line as much as they could… until it got to a point where I was sick of it. Everything related to Nick and Lucifer in season 14 was stupid and boring, to say the least. The plot line should have ended when Dean stabbed Lucifer. Although… I would have liked a better closure for Sam, but I’m good. As long as I don’t have to see Pellegrino again, I’m good.

16. Who do you think has gone through more trauma (Sam, Dean, or Cas)?

I don’t like this question and refuse to answer because trauma is NOT a competition (either in real life or in fiction). Trauma is trauma and it affects people. Something Sam went through was painful to him and that same thing may be less traumatic to Cas, but that doesn’t mean the repercussions and the suffering are less real for Sam, just because Cas suffered in other ways that may have affected him more. Trauma is personal. All I know is that the three of them have gone through A LOT and that’s why they deserve peace and happiness. Period.

17. What’s your favorite Supernatural episode?

There are more than 300 reasons to love this show. I mean, it’s almost impossible to choose ONE episode out of so many that I love. But for the sake of this question, I will answer with a very personal choice. My favorite ep could probably be 12x22 because of the moments between Dean and Mary. Dean needed a moment to finally say what he had been repressing all his life. All that hate mixed with all that love. He needed to let it out. And it was both gut-wrenching and beautiful to watch. I always cry when I see it (and I mean gross sobbing for real).

18. Do you like case episodes?

I like them most of the time. I don’t enjoy them so much when they air because I would like the plot to move forward, but it’s the case episodes where we learn more about what’s going on with our characters (their internal emotional battles) through other characters and subtext. It’s an interesting exercise, and that’s why I end up liking most case episodes in the end.

19. Who do you relate most to in TFW?

For people who have been following my blog for some time, this will come as no surprise. I relate the most to Dean Winchester.

In fact, I AM DEAN. I can find in my life every single thing about Dean’s journey. I came to accept my sexuality thanks to Dean (first as bisexual, and later as demisexual once I became more educated). I have felt worthless and like I don’t deserve to live or to be loved, just as much as Dean. I have felt like a burden, like I’m here just to help/please others, and if I’m not doing that, then I’m failing at life.

I get why Dean lashes out and hurts the people he loves even though he’s so afraid to lose them. I understand why Dean builds huge walls to protect himself from being hurt and what he needs to grow. Because his struggles are my struggles. And now I’m crying, so I better move on to the next question.  

20. Why do you like Supernatural?

I like Supernatural because I’ve been able to learn about myself thanks to the characters. Despite being a genre show, the personal journeys (character arcs) have been so real and relatable that I truly think this show is a masterpiece. The fact that I’ve grown as a human being thanks to an ordinary TV show is incredible. I don’t think there will ever be another show like Supernatural in my life.

21. If you could bring back one character and kill off another who would they be?

I would bring back Charlie. The original Charlie. I mean, I know we have seen lovely Felicia Day again thanks to AU!Charlie, but I couldn’t connect with her the same way I did with the original one. Probably because not even the boys have been able to connect with her the same way, either. They see her and they will always see the little sister they lost. It’s hard to think of AU!Charlie as her own person if she always reminds you of the one you lost. ETA: I forgot who I would kill. I guess no one. I mean, if Lucifer were still around, I'd kill him. Or Nick. I just got tired of his face.

Wow! This turned into a very long post, but I had so much fun.

I tag EVERYONE who would like to do this as a way to pay tribute to our wonderful show. Much love to y’all!

[carryoncastiel]

15x06 - “Golden Time” thoughts

Pre-thoughts: Back from work so new episode time! Apparently this is a Sam-centric episode (love me those) and I know Dean and Cas are gonna have an awkward phone call. Other than that I dont know what happens and I’m excited to find out!!!

Recap: Destiel breakup und Sam killing Rowena.Yup this is gonna be fun.

I have the episode with narration again and the narrartor immediately spoils that this is Rowena’s apartment. Though the big out of focus portrait is a dead giveaway...

Honestly I don’t even hear the narrator over the music when the witch throws Rowena’s stuff on the floor. If you’re visually impaired idk if this is even actually helpful

Well witch lady, shouldn’t have touched Rowena’s stuff. Now you’re dead  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Some blurry something walks by behind Sam in the bunker. Eileen is that you?

Dean walks in with his comfy robe and hot dog PJs. It would be cute if it wasn’t sad.

Dean ate a whole box of cereal. Well the munching away your feelings continues. ...And he’s binge watching Scooby Doo. I mean I never had a breakup but I’m sure I’d eat comfort food and watch my favorite show all day too.

CAAAS <3

The shop owner calls him Clarence. So Cas is not in the mood to use the typical Winchester fake name right now instead opting for the nickname Meg gave him. Oh Cas :(

Apparently Cas has been fishing. I’m sure there is some interesting meta meaning to this.

“I had a friend who praised fishing for it meditating qualities” Not sure if he’s talking about Dean here but I assume he is. Which makes this even more sad because “I HAD a friend”...D:

Cas isn’t even looking for a case instead the shop owner tells him about a dead boy they found. So he’s just been alone fishing to deal with his feelings which didn’t really seem to work. Oh NOO ;__;

We never see Sam jogging and it’s a shame! 

Eileen!!! 

The hellhound that killed Eileen dragged her to hell. I’m not OK!

Eileen doesn’t want to turn into a vengeful spirit so she asks Sam and Dean to maybe put in a good word with the angels. WELL...that might be a problem...

Dean tells her even if they tried she can’t go to heaven and Sam looks the way I’m feeling right now

Sam is pissed Dean just outright told her. Understandable. Dean is all like “Sucks but that’s how it is” Yikes

I want someone to hug Sam so bad he’s having a really rough time here. Seeing Eileen in this state and now having to go to Rowena’s place. :(

And Dean is like “Yeah you do that” and walks away. Dude.

He thinks nothing they do matters anyway so why care. This is fine...

Cas is at the sheriff’s office but the dude gets his hair cut on tuesdays so he’s not there. What can you do.

The woman sitting there thinks her son is missing too and no one will help her. Cas can’t say no to her of course.

This Sam and Eileen conversation is too sad for meeee *sobs* 

(For some reason the narrator is now talking about “Dean” instead of Sam when they enter Rowena’s apartment. Real professional narration.)

Two witches sit in a van outside and spy on Sam and Eileen in the apartment. But one has purple eyes like Rowena. Did she already get the Book of the Damned?

Back with Cas and the Sheriff is back and being annoyed with the woman looking for her son. Sure maybe not many people go missing in that little town but if one kid shows up dead the night before that should mayyyyybe ring some alarm bells?

Cas is kinda getting pissed at the sheriffs don’t-care attitude. (I’d be too.) 

Dude wants to talk to a supervisor so Cas got no choice but to call some Winchester phone. 

Of course it’s Dean answering the call and from the looks of it Cas is really hoping its not him...

I kinda wanna reach through the screen and throttle Dean right now... Apologize to your husband dammit! 

Cas wipes his eye after Dean hangs up. THIS IS FINE. AGAIN.

If you’re searching for some secret witch stash being a ghost is kinda helpful

Sam sees Rowena’s secret room and that she kept journals until the end. We see his face and the narrator deadass goes “Sam tries to smile through the pain” CAN YOU NOT

“You miss her”, Eileen also saw that pain. 

Rowena worked on a spell to resurrect Mary without a body. HELP. MY ROWENA FEELS.

She never finished it but Sam is confident he can do it. And bring Eileen back! (PLEASE. Don’t get my hopes up show!)

Detective!Cas montage. He even has a pen behind his ear. I’m so proud.

Sam is getting the same treatment as the witch from the beginning. Those other witches don’t wanna share. He at least gets to sign for Eileen to find Dean before she gets poofed away by the witch.

Appararently Rowena’s apartment his hexed but it didn’t affect Sam. She left all her things to him....And here are the feels again...

The witch clearly doesn’t know who Sam is or she would’ve gone for his deal.

Cas is up at the lake where people went missing and the woman from before followed him to help with the search. From the promo pics I know this is gonna get bloody....

The witch (who looks more like a typical ghost with her black hair) who is making sure Sam gets the stuff they want didn’t really like the dead witch (her sister it seems). She made her life hell. Well thanks for telling us you’re obviously gonna turn on your mother later on to stop the resurrection.

Cas and the woman (Nelly or something?) walk through the woods. “Thanks for doing this on your vacation” Oh lady, if only you knew.

Cas tries to prepare Nelly for something horrible that might have happened to her son but surprise they just find him sitting behind some rocks. Well this is convenient.

Sam almost convinces Emily to take Rowena’s stuff and leave him the spell. But then she stabs the voodoo doll. This is gonna end bad for you Emily.

The Sheriff is the monster (a djinn) at the lake. I am SHOCKED.

The djinn shoots Cas but it just pisses him off more. 

“It’s always you. You selfish little men in positions of authority. You take what you want, you take who you want. You believe your power will protect you. But it won’t protect you from me.” Ok apart from this being an amazing bamf!Cas scene this is obviously forshadowing Cas being the one who will fuck Chuck’s shit up and I’m so here for it!

Dean comes to the rescue! But the dead witch is also joining the fun. This calls for a witch vs Eileen ghost off!

Sam kills the witch mother with a hex bag and spell. “I learned from the best”. AHHHHH

Cas heals the boy’s ankle but it clearly takes a lot out of him. 

Nelly “This is a miracle. Were you sent by God?” 

Cas is like “You know what - it’s better if you don’t know what a massive dick God actually is”

“If I stay nothing changes. It’s time for me to get back into the game.” Damn right. My boy is back!

They actually have a nice big bathtub in the bunker? Fic writers rejoice!

OMG SHE’s ACTUALLY BACK ;______;

Narrator about Sam: “He turns around, overcome with emotion” YOU STOOOOOOP

OMGOMGOMGOMG *sobs*

THIS IS THE BEST I’M SO SAD AND HAPPY AND AHHHHHHHHH

Cut to Dean sitting all alone.... Well you’ve got some work to do before you get to hug your love again....

Dean: “So you’re some kinda witch now”. Sam: “Nah I just got lucky”. Sam please. You’re definitely a witch now. Be proud of that.

Dean just doesn’t know what’s real and what’s not and it’s driving him crazy. Ah my poor boy.

Sam is all confident now they’ll gonna beat god “Cause we are the guys who break the rules”. Well you’re one rulebreaker short...

Dean is not really there yet.

Sorry this got so long *coughs* But pheeeeew that was an episode. Saileen came back with full force and all the Sam and witch!Sam and Rowena feels right with them. And Cas is back in the game too. And Dean is still all sad. Meredith Glynn really knocked it out of the park with this one!

[whelvenwings]

Another Mango in the Fruit Bowl

Destiel, 1.6k.

If ye seek the cause of this fic, turn thine eyes to @crxstalcas.

*********

Do not rush to judge someone unless … [their] fruits reveal the truth.

- Israelmore Ayivor

What is the worst thing that you can imagine happening to you? No, worse than that. Worse, still, than that. Whatever you are picturing, it isn’t bad enough.

Picture now your body shifting… compacting. Compressing.

Sweetening.

You struggle, but it’s in vain. Your body isn’t under your control. You’re hollering and screaming and no sound is being made, no one can hear you. They walk past you as though everything were completely normal. They ignore you. To them, you might as well be another brick in the wall.

Another… mango in the fruit bowl.

Picture it now, if you can. Close your eyes. No, open them, you need to read. I’m telling you to reopen them but we both know you never closed them for any prolonged amount of time in the first place, you anarchist, you absolute legend.

Imagine waking up as your own worst enemy.

Imagine waking up yucky.

Imagine waking up… as a gross gross gross groooooooooooooooooooss fruit.

***

“Dean,” said Castiel, “the worst has happened.”

“Oh god,” said Dean, “I know.”

They sat in their beds - and just for a moment, they were silent, as though all that was wrong and terrible could be hushed to nothing if they only did not speak.

Light filtered in through the motel window, soft and willowy light. It brushed tender fingers over the scene, an ethereally careful touch that seemed to make miracles of the dust on top of the chip-screened television, the brown shabbiness of the carpet, the dismal pattern of the wallpaper.

The shiny, shiny skin of two fruits, sitting with their tops poking out of the blankets on two twin beds.

On the left, a mango.

On the right, a banana.

“Dean,” said Castiel once more.

“Yeah.”

“Should we do something about this.”

Dean, who was a banana, thought carefully.

“I hate bananas,” he said.

“Bananas are delicious and I envy the sweet, delicious, angelic body in which you have become enveloped while maintaining the full power of speech and rational thought (besides your hatred for bananas!) for reasons unbeknownst to us,” Castiel said. “While I… O TEMPORA, O MORES… have become IMPRISONED, nay SHACKLED, within a BEFOULMENT… WHAT IS THIS CREEPING DEATH I FEEL COME OVER ME… LO, I AM BROUGHT DOWN, THUS IS THE ANGEL CASTIEL ENDED.”

“Shhh,” Dean said mildly. “Mangoes are like my favourite?”

“They suck,” Castiel said shortly. Much more shortly than usual. He was like one twentieth of his normal size because he was a mango. Yeah, I actually went and looked that up, and that’s about accurate if the mango is a large one (and you know it’s large (; ). And the first result I got when I typed “Mango size guide” was details on the clothing brand Mango’s sizes of jeans. Why won’t Google immediately cater to something more relatable like needing to know what proportion of his usual size a man would be if he changed into a sentient, well-spoken, angry fruit. You want to know the best part? I guessed it would be one twentieth and I was RIGHT. HAVE I BEEN A MANGO MATHS SAVANT THIS ENTIRE TIME.

“Anyway, enough of that,” Dean said, getting this story back on track.

“I hate being a mango,” said Castiel.

“I hate being a banana,” Dean said. “They’re icky. I should be more worried than I am, though. I’m like surprisingly zen about this whole experience.”

“It’s because bananas are good,” Castiel said.

“No,” said Dean. “Not that.”

“It’s because the high levels of potassium are making you feel K.”

“...” said Dean.

“K is short for OK, as some hip teens use it,” Castiel said. “And it is also the chemical symbol for potassium, which is found in bananas.”

“I hate everything about this,” Dean said, “but I accept that punning is a necessary evil.”

They sat some more, and thought about life.

“Oh,” said Castiel, “I weep for my old vessel.”

“Me too,” Dean said. “I mean, for my own. Not for yours. Obviously.”

“Bit harsh,” Castiel said. “I did just lose that. Show a bit of compassion, you acolyte who worships at the altar of cruel honesty.”

“I’m trying to be tough and not show you that I have feelings about you,” Dean explained helpfully.

“You have FEELINGS about me?” Castiel gasped.

“What - oh - oh DARN - oh NO,” Dean said. “I have blown my cover.”

The sun set. It had been a long day of sitting and talking about being fruit and having feelings. They were very much mid-conversation really but you know how it is when you gotta nap more than you gotta discuss the way you feel. They were both very tired. They slept.

***

“Good morning,” said Castiel. “The worst has still happened.”

“It’s like ongoing,” Dean agreed.

They were both still in their hated fruity bodies.

“You know what it is,” Dean said. “I know why I’m so chill about being a banana even though I hate bananas. It’s because I hate being myself all the time. So like, what’s changed.”

“Dean,” Castiel said. “I didn’t… I’ve never heard you say that before.”

My goddamn laptop just died because I didn’t bother plugging it in, since I thought this would be a short piece of writing and it’s now close to one thousand words. I just had to reboot my laptop and watch the swirling loading screen for three solid minutes, all while knowing that what I was waiting for was the opportunity to finish a fic in which Castiel is a mango and Dean is a banana. Like it’s not hugely ridiculous until you think about all the other things I could possibly be doing. I could be messaging a friend. Walking a dog. Baking some cookies in a pleasantly-coloured apron. Sprucing up my herb garden by planting out some mint. Watching a bit of TV. Napping. And yet here I am, six years after I first binge-watched this one American genre TV show, writing a story in which two of its principle characters are botanical freaking wonders who are about to confess their love to each other in a meaningful way. Oh yeah, I’m going there. Give me STRENGTH.

“It - well,” Dean said. “I’m not - I don’t like, usually talk about it. I think being a banana is kinda making me a little more chatty. But, uh, yeah.”

“Why would you hate yourself?” Castiel said.

“I mean, look at me, man,” Dean said.

There was a pause.

“I mean, OK, not right now,” Dean said. “Picture me as a human man and then look at me. I’m just… a guy. I’m just a dude, I’m just - I’m just some asshole, you know? But I’m the one who has to decide on the fate of the freaking universe every other day. I’ve killed so many things and made so many crappy decisions and screwed up the way things were supposed to go and I had no right. I’ve never had a right. It’s always been way too much on me. Even when it was just Sam who was my responsibility, I screwed that up often enough. I’ve never been good enough at anything I do and somehow it’s always still me who’s gotta do it.”

He fell silent.

Castiel didn’t say anything, letting the words settle. He knew the rawness, the carved-outness Dean would be feeling.

“Dean,” he said eventually, “Dean, you - you don’t get it at all, do you?”

“What?” Dean sounded strangely young in that single word, that little moment. Like a green banana.

“You don’t get it. You’re a person who’s been put into impossible situations throughout the whole of your life, right from the beginning. You think you were old enough to take care of your brother safely? You think you were strong enough to avert the apocalypse a thousand times over with no fallout? You have been thrown into these scenarios over and over and over. You hate yourself for not winning in no-win situations.”

“But - Cas, look -”

“No. Stop telling me to look at you. You look at you. Look at yourself. Look at yourself. What do you have? You have a world that’s still spinning. You have a life, you have a future. You have your brother, a brother who cares about you. You have an angel,” Castiel said, “who has feelings for you.” He breathed out. He’s a mango. I don’t care. HE BREATHED OUT. “You shouldn’t hate yourself,” he said. “Please. Take my eyes. See yourself with them instead. You took every bullshit thing the world ever threw at you and you did everything you could. You’ve kept trying and you’re still trying after all this time. All while being... just some asshole. Don’t you see? You’re astounding, Dean.”

“Cas, I - I don’t know what to - you…” Dean said weakly. “You have - you have feelings for me?”

“Well,” Castiel said, “yes.”

“Like… good feelings?”

“Definitely,” Castiel said.

“Like… the ‘L’ word feelings?”

“Absolutely.”

Dean wanted him to say it. Castiel knew it. He could feel it in his pulp. Dean wanted him to say those words out loud.

“It’s strangely terrifying,” Castiel said, “to think about saying those three words.”

“Cas,” Dean said, “be brave.”

“Why don’t you do it, then?” Castiel said.

“Come on, Cas - are you a man, or are you a mango?”

“Well - are you a man, or are you a manana?” Castiel shot back.

There was a beat of silence.

Then, in a flash, they were both in their human bodies once more. They sat up on their beds, stretching their arms and wiggling their eyebrows to an excessive degree just because they could.

They looked at each other.

“I love you,” they said, at the same time.

And there was no explanation whatsoever for the fruit thing. And then they kissed.

The End.

[mittensmorgul]

I think it's horrifically sad that people genuinly believe that the only thing that has ever mattered for Cas is Dean. However the situation is now, heaven and the other angels were Castiel's FAMILY for millions of years. Just imagine the trauma and feelings of lonliness for a creature that old to not have a friend that shares his history, to speak of things that humans will just not GET. The writers have reduced Cas' entire world into just the Winchesters, and how is that a good thing?

I… don’t see any of this?

I don’t know of anything in canon that indicates that  “the only thing that has ever mattered for Cas is Dean.”

In fact, I’d dare say the exact opposite is true. Cas has always cared about humanity in general. He’s always had “too much heart.” (So said Samandriel) He’s always resisted obeying Heaven’s orders. (So said Naomi, and Hester, and… pretty much every angel who’s ever known him…)

Yes, those other angels, who were his FAMILY for millions of years, who reprogrammed him over and over again every time he showed that “too much heart.” Every time he tried to show the rest of them something greater than just following those orders, from trying to enforce some kind of “destiny.”

We get his disillusionment in full technicolor even as far back as 6.20– his sense of guilt, his sense of obligation to wrangle all the angels around to seeing the potential they’re missing out on.

CASTIEL No. No one leads us anymore. We’re all free to make our own choices and to choose our own fates.RACHEL What does God want?CASTIEL God wants you to have freedom.RACHEL But what does he want us to do with it?

It must be the crack in his chassis, because he seems to be the only angel who really, truly understands this. He desperately wants the angels to just understand this, and they just… don’t. He despairs of them, yet still feels personally responsible for saving them from what Raphael plans to do. Maybe, just maybe, if he stops Raphael from restarting the apocalypse, then MAYBE the rest of the angels might learn to exercise the freedom (and free will) that he’s been trying to show them all along.

God doesn’t want them to do anything, he wants them to decide what to do for themselves.

And Cas is pretty much the only angel who really gets it.

And Sam and Dean (and especially Dean) has been there to help him through his disappointment, frustration, and disillusionment in dealing with Heaven, going all the way back to s4. We see it continue throughout s5 when Dean helps Cas after God essentially abandons all of creation, refusing to do anything about the apocalypse.

Cas was the ONLY angel willing to defy Heaven, Hell, Destiny, and GOD to save humanity. And he didn’t do it grudgingly. He CHOSE it, because it felt like the right thing for him to do. And then he immediately was thrown back into an impossible situation where he was being asked to do it all AGAIN.

And HE STILL CHOSE TO DEFEND HUMANITY, even against all of Heaven, on his own. Not because he was eager to save Heaven… but so that he could protect Dean.

I mean, that was his CHOICE.

I don’t think the writers are saying AT ALL that Cas feels bereft of a friend who truly understands him, or truly sympathizes with him, or that Cas laments the loss of the “family” that has done nothing but reject him and dismiss him and use him and abuse him for most of that very long life.

For a very long time he did feel guilty and a sense of obligation to help them, but that’s worn really thin over the last few years. There’s only so many times someone can be blatantly and forcefully rejected by one’s “family” before one gives that family the ol’ heave ho.

I don’t think the writers are trying to tell a story in which Cas is rejecting a loving and supportive family. We’ve been witnessing his trauma and feelings of loneliness for a long time. Heck, so much of his s10 arc (which still feels shunted off to the side toward the end of the season as the Darkness arc was being set up), and DEFINITELY his s11 arc were DIRECTLY ABOUT Cas’s sense of loneliness and abandonment and disconnect from his Heavenly family.

It was driven home with iron spikes in 11.02:

CASTIEL: Mercy, brother, please!EFRAM: Brother? Ha! What are you?CASTIEL: W-what? I’m an angel of the Lord.EFRAM: That so? ‘Cause, near as I can tell, when you have to choose between heaven and the Winchesters …JONAH: You choose them.EFRAM: Every time. So, see, you’re not my brother. And if I had it my way, I’d take this blade, stick it in your heart … and call that a damn good day.

And if that wasn’t enough:

HANNAH: I saved you.CASTIEL: No. I don’t think you did. I think that you told Efram and Jonah to bring me here and to hurt me, and so you arranged to – to … to burst in and save me. You were hoping that I would be so grateful that I would do anything you said, that I would tell you anything that you wanted to know. Why, Hannah? We were friends.HANNAH: That was before you freed Metatron … Before … The other angels, they hate you.CASTIEL: And what about you? Do you hate me?EFRAM: (both Efram and Jonah enter the room again) It doesn’t matter. We took a vote – democracy in action – and … Hannah’s doing the job.CASTIEL: I won’t give you Sam and Dean.EFRAM: Sure you will.JONAH: We’re gonna hack your brain.

This is that “family” you mentioned. This is the “family” that Cas has tried to protect Sam and Dean from since s4. He won’t just hand over Sam and Dean to them to be tortured and killed. Because that’s what they intended to do with Cas, so how much worse would it be for Sam and Dean?

It’s not like the angels have been working hard to support and accept and understand Cas. It doesn’t do a lot for his sense of guilt or loyalty to Heaven…

Then in 11.10:

Ambriel: Are you going to kill me?Castiel: Is that what they say, that I kill angels?Ambriel: Well, that’s the nicest thing they say. Well, maybe we can work together… so no-one murders anyone.

and

Castiel: I never wanted this, you know. To be hated by my own kind, I never-Ambriel: Oh no, I don’t hate you, Castiel.Castiel: Thank you.Ambriel: I mean, we have a lot in common. Our names rhyme, that’s a big one. I look good in a trench coat too, and we’re both expendable.Castiel: Excuse me?Ambriel: Well, that’s why we’re here, right? I’m a number cruncher and you-you like I said, I’ve heard the stories. You help. But Sam and Dean Winchester are the real heroes. So if the Darkness is still alive and she’s pissed and she kills us, no big loss. So sure, maybe we’re not super important, but we do the job. I think there’s nobility in that.

and if that’s not enough, Amara rubs it in…

Amara: She’s right you know, you are expendable and weak. And why God took a special interest in you, I’ll never understand. My brother always did have horrible taste in men.

Cas’s Netflix binge in early s11, hiding out in the bunker at a time when that was the ONLY place he could turn. Heaven had fully rejected him. That family would rather he was DEAD than accept him back.

While I can understand why someone might feel hopeful that Cas had at least some part of his Heavenly family that he remained close with, like immigrants to a new country who feel culturally adrift but for the support of one’s family… but that’s not been Cas’s experience at all.

[tinkdw]

I honestly tried so hard not to ship Destiel but it's just one of those ships y'know you just kinda accidentally ship and I really don't wanna cause some of the fandom is kinda toxic but I can't help but to ship it

Dude, SAME.

Honestly, I’ve never shipped anything before (I liked it when Spike x Buffy did eventually go somewhere and was kinda beautiful but I didn’t really ship it), I didn’t even know what shipping was until I found tumblr a few months ago, I’m mostly straight (I’m a bit fluid but meh, mostly straight), and I never really thought about representation that much beyond ‘yeah, thats a great thing, there should be more of it’. 

So I just watched the show (on my own) with no previous knowledge of anything at all and…. well…. it was so obvious?!

I mean, I just binge watched the show last year because I love sci-fi and I was in a bit of a bad place and needed a distraction and had watched all the Buffy/True Blood/GoT I could and was looking for something new.

I loved seasons 1-3, I did, but then, enter Castiel and literally, my life has kind of changed?! I have an obsessive personality anyway but…. jeez. What a character and WHAT A ROMANTIC GLORIOUS LOVE STORY!

And then it just dragged… and dragged…. and yet also GREW so much?! 

So, like, what exactly are they doing? Well, I believe they know exactly what they are doing, especially since Dabb took over, but hey, let’s see…. but my blog description is ‘endgame Destiel positive’ so you know what I mean ;)

It’s all THERE, they all know its there, the writers USE it in their plots, the editors make it visually obvious, it’s even referenced in the show, the actors all KNOW, I mean come on!

It’s not our fault if they use all the romance tropes with these two.

I think it is very relevant that so many Destiel meta-writers and shippers have a background in understanding stories, being teachers, journalists, book worms, cinematography students etc etc and therefore can make pretty good conclusions from the material that is being shown.

I mean, the overall story of these two characters is that one is a fallen, rebellious Angel who just wants to feel Human and belong somewhere and loves caring for others and one is a faithless man with abandonment issues who just wants someone to stay with and care for him.

Said fallen Angel rebels and does it, all of it for Him, eventually looking to Him instead of God, is in return called ‘family’ and cared for himself. 

Said Human learns to have Faith in and through his Angel and through this in himself, which is a key part of his overall story in the whole show.

They’re WRITTEN as each other’s canonical other half (see this post about how its a romantic and not a buddy story according to literary guidelines).

Their story is like so many rom-com, shakespearean and classical for that matter love/mythical stories where they start out on opposite sides and kind of meet in the middle you know? The idea being that they ‘complete’ each other and lead themselves to be the best that they can be and who they really are and want to be deep down? As these two clearly do?!

I’ve said before and I’ll say again, Dean and Cas are canonically central to each other’s CORE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT and their endgames are INTERLINKED.

I mean, if this was a guy and a girl and it was a movie, so all the story was shown in 1h30 minutes and at the end they were like oh, no, but you see, they’re just FRIENDS. Literally everyone would just be like WHAT?!

The fact that Disney movies and romcoms are so highly parallel-able with Destiel, because it fits that literary box - as a romance, not a buddy story or a drama or even a familial story, it does up to a point, but it definitely transcends this and moves into romance realms pretty early on, like, season 5 FFS.

It’s not our fault, the show made us do it.

If fandom wank is a problem for you, well, I don’t like it either, I guess no one does apart from the ones instigating it who seem to get a high off it, I just blacklist on tumblr and I don’t attend cons, so… meh, I have this gorgeous little space where we all know and all discuss what is happening and it is lovely, feel free to join us :)

[aoitrinity]

Supernatural Survey

Tagged awhile back by @rosewhipped22--thanks for providing me another reason to avoid being productive! WOOT!

1. What season did you start watching Supernatural? A little under a year ago, at this point. It was toward the end of July last year (during the hellatus between S11 and S12). I binged all eleven seasons in 40-some days, because I’M COOL LIKE THAT. But, uh, yeah, I’m a total newbie here by comparison.

2. Who was the first character you fell in love with? Oooh, tough choices...I probably got very attached to Bobby before anyone else, really. Ellen followed pretty soon after that.

3. Who was a character that you hated at first but grew to love?: Uh...this is going to sound weird, but I was initially VERY apprehensive about Kevin. That lasted for all of an episode and then Osric won my heart.

4. Which character would you most want to be in a long-term relationship with? Charlie. We could play video games and read Harry Potter aloud and go to Renn Faire together... 

5. If you could go on a date with just one character, which one would you choose?: Just one date? Probably Sam.

6. What would you do on that date? We’d find some really eccentric history museum or something and spend the day nerding out over plague masks or something similarly bizarre.

7. Which character would you most want to be like?: Nnngh, this is hard...but if I HAD to chose, probably Jody? She seems to really have her life together. She’s kind and intelligent, but also as badass as they come.

8. Which character would you most want to see brought back from the dead?: Well, Cas would be the obvious answer, but after that? Eileen! PLEASE PLEASE PRETTY PLEASE! And if we can’t have Eileen, then give me back Charlie GOD DAMN IT! *shakes fist at TPTB*

9. Which character would you most like to punch?: Lucifer. Please God. That’s all I want. I want to punch Lucifer right out of the show X.x

10. Who is your absolute favorite character?: Castiel. Hands-fucking-down. Simultaneously a badass angel-of-the-fucking-lord and a soft little goober with the most adorable head tilt.

11. Which “Big Bad” do you think was the worst?: Worst like...stupidest? Dick Roman would win that one by a mile...everything about that character was so fucking ham-fisted. Worst in terms of most challenging? Does the MoC count? That shit seemed pretty fucking awful.

12. Which character are you most like?: I’m like some weird hybrid of Kevin and Charlie, but probably closer to Charlie.

13. What death hit you the hardest? WELL UP UNTIL CAS TOOK THAT CAKE IN 12.23...definitely Bobby. The fact that it stretched out over the whole episode...that Bobby was literally all they had left at that point in the season...the nature of the goodbye...man, that was rough. If we’re talking anger, though, Eileen’s death made me PRETTY FUCKING ANGRY. 14. What season finale hit you the hardest?: Season 8 hurt really badly. It was so tragic, watching Cas standing there as his grace caused his brothers and sisters to fall out of the sky in flames...I cried a lot. Season 9 had me crying too, when Cas found out Metatron had killed Dean...and Season 11 was really difficult too, mostly for the scene where Dean had to say goodbye to Cas and Sam. But if I had to pick just one, then probably Season 8.

15. What are your ten all-time favorite episodes?: Iiiiiii can’t narrow this shit down, damn it! That’s too cruel! Uh, well, off the top of my head, here are ten I really, really like, in order of occurrence-- 5.04 - The End, 5.22 - Swan Song, 6.20 - The Man Who Would Be King, 8.17 - Goodbye Stranger, 9.06 - Heaven Can’t Wait, 11.04 - Baby, 11.20 - Don’t Call Me Shurley, 12.10 - Lily Sunders Has Some Regrets, 12.12 - Stuck in the Middle (With You), 12.19 - The Future

16. What’s been your favorite season?: Surprisingly, probably Season 12? There were SO many good episodes in the back half of the season...I also really like 11... and 8... and 9... and 6... and...

17. Who is your favorite angel? Castiel--see #10

18. Who is your favorite demon? Crowley. How do you top that, seriously?

19. Who’s your favorite evil character? Rowena. Oh man, what I wouldn’t give to have her back. Sassy, powerful, amazing hair, AND a Scottish accent? SIGN ME UP.

20. Do you have any Supernatural ships?: I will sail aboard the SS Destiel until the day I die. I also very much ship Saileen (#BRING BACK EILEEN).

21. Who’s your favorite supporting actor?: Misha! But, uh, if he doesn’t count as supporting anymore, I REALLY love me some Rich and Rob. And Osric. And Felicia. And Sebastian. Damn it, I CAN’T MAKE DECISIONS.

22. What’s your favorite quote from the show?: So many choices...but the one that always sits with me is Cas’s, “Now I realize that there is no righteous path, it's just people trying to do their best in a world where it is far too easy to do your worst.”

23. If you could cast one famous actor in an episode of SPN, who would you choose?: Oooooh...John Barrowman? Is he famous enough? Because hot DAMN I would pay good money to see that. 

24. If you could write your own episode, what kind of creatures would you like to see included?: Dryads! They could do some really creepy stuff with trees...

25. Who’s your favorite girl that Dean’s hooked up with?: Rhonda Hurley--thank you for that beautiful gift of Dean-in-pink-satin-panties <3

26. Who’s your favorite girl that Sam’s hooked up with?: Jess (GOD DAMN IT WE WERE SO CLOSE WITH EILEEN)

27. What are some of your favorite convention moments?: I think the underbear takes the proverbial cake here.

28. If you were going to guest star (or be a recurring guest star) on SPN, how would you want your character to be described?: Snarky, intelligent, and fucking badass! So...Jody, essentially.

29. What do you hope to see in the next season?: CANON DESTIEL FTW :D!!!! Also, hopefully, further erosion of the Brodependency, more Sam being confident and independent, more Dean continuing to open himself up emotionally, and for the love of God, bring back Cas and Eileen and Rowena. Oh, and lastly...I really need to see Lucifer dead. That would be the icing on the Season 13 cake.

30. - 40. If you had to choose…

Bobby or John?: Bobby OF COURSE

Bela or Ruby? Ruby. I always hated Bela...she felt so two-dimensional :\

Jess or Madison?: Jess--I love me some Adrianne Palicki.

Jo or Lisa?: Jo; Lisa was way too vanilla

Charlie or Kevin?: Charlie, but I hate having to choose >.>

Balthazar or Ash?: Balthazar. I love them both, though!

Cas or Crowley?: Castiel all the way

Ben or Claire?: Claire!

Jody or Donna?: Jody, but I want them both. All the time. WAYWARD SISTERS IS GOING TO BE MY LIFEBLOOD.

Sam or Dean?: Dean, but again, I don’t like picking >.> So now is the part where I tag other people, but I’m bad at tagging people and I don’t know who has or hasn’t done it so...do it if you want! I love to read peoples’ responses to this kind of thing *^.^*

[dirkstridertherdickrider]

1. WHAT SEASON DID YOU START WATCHING SUPERNATURAL?

One..... I binged through the seasons. 

2. WHO WAS THE FIRST CHARACTER YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH?

The first? I don’t remember, I just know Cas is amazing. 

3. WHO WAS A CHARACTER THAT YOU HATED AT FIRST BUT GREW TO LOVE?

Crowley. 

4. WHICH CHARACTER WOULD YOU MOST WANT TO BE IN A LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP WITH?

CHARLIE or Sam - if I could survive it that is. (Because Cas belongs to Dean)

5. IF YOU COULD GO ON A DATE WITH JUST ONE CHARACTER, WHICH ONE WOULD YOU CHOOSE? 

Chuck or Sam

6. WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON THAT DATE? Find all the angel’s baby scrapbooks, have a good time, see the world. 

7. WHICH CHARACTER WOULD YOU MOST WANT TO BE LIKE? Everyone has tragic as hell back stories, none that way. In terms of personality, I’d have to say Dean, Charlie or Bobby

8. WHICH CHARACTER WOULD YOU MOST WANT TO SEE BROUGHT BACK FROM THE DEAD? Okay, since we know we get Cas back and I’m pretty sure Gabriel is alive and sips drinks with umbrellas in an alternative universe, hiding and faking his death I would say….. Damn this is hard…. CharlieBobbyMickEileenRowenaCrowleyKevin *cough cough*…. What? That’s one person, right? (Agreed) 

9. WHICH CHARACTER WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO PUNCH?

THE FUCKING ASSBUTT

10. WHO IS YOUR ABSOLUTE FAVORITE CHARACTER?

CASTIEL, you show up for the pretty face and indifference to sexuality, and stay for the sass and badassness. 

11. WHICH “BIG BAD” DO YOU THINK WAS THE WORST?

Worst in like “scary” or worst in like “Damn, why do I even watch this shit”? Most scary I think was Lucifer in the early seasons. the most “ugh” was my procrastination in watching the show. 

12. WHICH CHARACTER ARE YOU MOST LIKE?

Charlie, Dean and Kevin.

13. WHAT DEATH HIT YOU THE HARDEST?

Charlie 

14. WHAT SEASON FINALE HIT YOU THE HARDEST?

whichever season end is there before hiatus 

15. WHAT ARE YOUR TEN ALL-TIME FAVORITE EPISODES?

never ask me to choose favorites. 

16. WHAT’S BEEN YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?

never ask me to choose favorites.

17. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE ANGEL?

Cas…. I’m sensing a pattern here *lol*. My second favourite is Gabriel and I love Baltazar!

18. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE DEMON?

Crowley 

19. WHO’S YOUR FAVORITE EVIL CHARACTER?

Metatron. I think it was one of the best written “bad guys” in the wholde series because he had so many facets. Also Curtis Armstrong is an awesome actor.

20. DO YOU HAVE ANY SUPERNATURAL SHIPS?

Destiel or Sabriel, I’m not really all to picky from there, I multiship like crazy.

21. WHO’S YOUR FAVORITE SUPPORTING ACTOR?

oh man, that is hard… to a point of I’m not choosing

22. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE FROM THE SHOW?

No one in the history of torture’s been tortured with torture like the torture you’ll be tortured with. - Crowley

23. IF YOU COULD CAST ONE FAMOUS ACTOR IN AN EPISODE OF SPN, WHO WOULD YOU CHOOSE?

John Barrowman, as Baby

24. IF YOU COULD WRITE YOUR OWN EPISODE, WHAT KIND OF CREATURES WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE INCLUDED?

Yokai, the Fey (like Iron Fey Series Fey), soul suckers from fandoms, etc. 

25. WHO’S YOUR FAVORITE GIRL THAT DEAN’S HOOKED UP WITH?

Cas. Oh wait no… that was in a fanfiction where Cas temporarily had a female vessel. Dean too. 

26. WHO’S YOUR FAVORITE GIRL THAT SAM’S HOOKED UP WITH?

What definition of “hooked up” are you basing this on? 

27. WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR FAVORITE CONVENTION MOMENTS?

Oh man, they are so many. I think my most favourite is the one when Misha was moaning like he was having an orgasm and Jensen was like DANG. Of course, there’s also the Jensen flashing Misha the bear underwear. Or Jared after having his shoulder dislocated by Osric and telling the story. Jared mic drops and mic drop preventions are also amazing. 

28. IF YOU WERE GOING TO GUEST STAR (OR BE A RECURRING GUEST STAR) ON SPN, HOW WOULD YOU WANT YOUR CHARACTER TO BE DESCRIBED? 

“I have no clue how to describe this character, like I can’t even DESCRIBE it. They’re story line is just so - ARGH! FUCKING SPOILERS! They’re driven by- FUCK! Uhh, They’re personality is - SPOILERS ARE SHIT!! FUCK IT!! JUST WATCH THE DAMN EPISODE ALREADY!!” ((Me trying to explain any character to friends, trying to drag them down the same hell hole I’m in, cause supportive friendships are great. They do the same to me so it’s fair. Moral support.))

29. WHAT DO YOU HOPE TO SEE IN THE NEXT SEASON?

Dean losing it because Cas is dead. Cas coming back and Dean finally SHOWS him how much he means to him. And shipping aside… I want interesting characters, I want storylines followed through, I want Cas as a character get treated better. I seriously hate the episodes where all you ask yourself “Where is Cas?”. It was especially bad when Claire was infected by the werewolf and all I could think is, why isn’t anyone calling Cas!?! (( I understand this sentiment and agree in a sense, but I also understand budgeting for the show and @castiel-knight-of-hell‘s general explanation for it. I suppose the happy medium between everything would be nice)) 

30. - 40. IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE…

BOBBY OR JOHN? Bobby

BELA OR RUBY? Ruby

JESS OR MADISON? Jess

JO OR LISA? Jo

CHARLIE OR KEVIN? fuck

BALTHAZAR OR ASH? Fuck

CAS OR CROWLEY? Cas, but Crowley is pretty close.

BEN OR CLAIRE? FUCK

JODY OR DONNA? FUCK

SAM OR DEAN? 

FUCK! 

...never ask me to choose favorites.

Tagging of people to this thing:

@castiel-knight-of-hell, @apetnamed-steverogers, @hufflepuffkindicequeen, @mooshiemushroom, @xfashionnekox, @abandoned-illusions

[writeroffanfictions]

Destiel || Birthday

Warning Smut NSFW You have been warned. Hope you like it :p

Dean opened the door to the apartment he shared with his boyfriend Castiel. He came home early that day so he was able to surprise him. He found Cas curled up in their bed, fast asleep, Dean smiled at how cute his boyfriend looked. Dean slipped under the covers and spooned the smaller man, Cas stirred and opened one eye. He looked up and saw Dean, he smiled, “You’re back early.” he said sleepily. “I wanted to surprise you, I didn’t mean to wake you up, sorry about that.” he responded. Cas turned over so he and Dean were face to face, “It’s fine, I’m glad you’re here.”. Dean leaned in and put his lips against Castiel’s, they kissed passionately for a few moments then pulled away. “Its only three o'clock, is there anything special you want to do today birthday boy.” Dean asked. Cas thought for a moment before deciding, “I want to take a walk in the park with ice cream, have dinner, bake a pie, then binge watch Sherlock on netflix.” he said with a straight face. Dean made a face that looked like he was thinking, “Ok, I can definitely do that. Plus a little extra gifts and surprises in between.” he smiled and pecked Cas on the lips. “Do you want to go now?” Dean asked, “Yeah, but I need to shower first.” Cas responded, “Alright, I need to shower too so we can take one together.” Dean said as he got out of the bed. He grabbed some clean clothes and headed to the bathroom, with Cas not far behind. Their bathroom was a bit cramped for the two of them to be in there at the same time, but they saw it as being able to be close. Both men got rid of their clothes and got into the shower, Dean made sure that the temperature was just right. Showers always take longer when both of them were in there so by the time they got out it was 3:45pm. They put on fresh clothes and headed out the door hand in hand. “Pick any ice cream place and we’ll go there. Its your day so you get to choose.” Dean said happily. “Lets go to the one that has booze infused syrups.” Cas said. Dean nodded his head, “I was hoping you were going to say that.”. Dean got vanilla ice cream with apples, grahm crackers, and whiskey caramel sauce. Castiel got chocolate with M&Ms and chocolate bourbon sauce. They walked through the park with ice cream in hand, Cas suggested that they should sit down and Dean agreed. Soon their ice cream was done and they were watching kids happily play with one another. Cas put his head on Dean’s shoulder and sighed, “So far, this is one of the best birthdays I’ve ever had. I’m glad I get to spend it with you.”. “I’m glad you like it and that I get to spend your birthday with you too. I love being able to spoil you.” Dean responded and kissed the top of Castiel’s head. They sat there until the sun started to go down and the sky was a bright pink. “Babe, you ready to go?” Dean asked, “Yeah.” Castiel responded. They got up and walked through the dying rays of light. “Before we head to dinner, there’s something I want to show you.” Dean said, Castiel made an unsure face but thought that it might be good. Dean led them into town, Cas tried to ask him where they were going, but he wouldn’t say. They stopped in front of a bar, “Really Dean? This is your surprise?” Cas said flatly, “No, this is just so I can close your eyes and lead you to the place I’m taking you. Do you honestly think I would do this to you on your birthday?” Dean responded, Cas shrugged. Dean put his hands over Castiel’s eyes and led him forward for a few yards, he instructed for Cas to keep his eyes shut while he opened the door. Once they got inside Dean told Cas that he could open his eyes, he gasped at the sight. They were in a jewelry store that Cas had been wanting to go into for months so they can get a matching set of rings, but Dean always said that it was too expensive. Castiel turned to Dean and hugged him tightly, “Thank you.” he whispered into his lover’s ear. Castiel released his grip on Dean and went quickly to the ring section, he scanned the array of rings and looked at Dean, “These are expensive I don’t want you to spend that much money.”. “Its alright, I’ve been saving ever since you said you wanted it. Plus I’d do anything for you.” he responded, Cas smiled and hugged him again. He went back to looking and found two gold rings with silver on the edges, “I want those.” Cas told the jeweler. The woman took out the rings and placed them on the counter, “We can engrave them for you if you’d like. After what I saw, I’ll do it for free.” the woman said smiling. Dean nodded his head, “I want mine to say Castiel.” “And I want mine to say Dean.” Cas told the woman. Dean gave her his credit card and looked at Cas, he was glad to see him so happy. The woman came back with their rings and Dean’s credit card, Cas put his on and Dean did the same. They took a moment to admire their rings, and thank the woman before leaving the store. It was now dark out,“For dinner, I decided that we should do something a little better than sitting in a cold building with a bunch of chattering people around. Its time for your second surprise.” Dean told Castiel. He led them back to the park where they were before, it was empty except for a patch of grass that had a blanket with food on top. Cas paused for a moment to register what was going on, he looked up at a smiling Dean, then brought him closer for a long, passionate kiss. “This is amazing Dean.” was all Cas managed to let out. He walked to the blanket and sat down, “When did you do this?” he asked the larger man, “I have friends.” was all Dean said. They ate their sandwiches and pie (since it’s the only things Dean can make) under the night sky. Afterwards, they laid on the blanket and looked at the sky in silence, “Are you ready to do the last thing on your birthday list?” Dean asked Cas, who’s head was now on top of his stomach. “Yeah.” he responded. They stood up and gathered their picnic stuff off of the ground and headed back to their apartment. Dean set their stuff down in the kitchen, Cas walked over to their couch to set up Netflix on their tv. Dean popped some popcorn, causing their apartment to smell like a movie theatre. Cas snuggled against Dean’s chest, stealing from the popcorn bowl frequently. They had just finished an episode when Cas kissed Dean without warning, the larger man deepened the kiss once he was able to realize what was going on. Dean placed the popcorn bowl on the ground so it wouldn’t disturb them, they moved so Cas was under Dean. They were on their couch making out for a while until Dean felt a slight bulge under Castiel’s pants on his leg. The friction made Cas moan quietly, but it was loud enough for Dean to hear. “If you wanted to do this you could have just said so.” he said, breaking the kiss, Cas made a pouty face at Dean for stopping. Dean laughed as he stood up, he picked up Castiel bridal style and started to walk to their room. He set the smaller man down on the bed and saw that the bulge had grown larger, he smirked and crawled onto the bed with him. They resumed their kissing from earlier, but this time it was hungrier, more ‘sex’ like. Dean pulled off his shirt and helped Cas out of his quickly, not wanting to stop what they were doing. Soon Cas wanted more, he tugged at Dean’s waistband, trying to pull down his pants. Dean got the message and took off his pants and waited for Cas to do the same. Dean looked at his boyfriend in only boxers, he could see a wet spot caused by Cas’s leaking cock. Dean licked his lips seductively, Cas only looked up at his lover and think of the amazing things he was about to do. Dean teased Cas by stroking his hard member, Cas shuddered in response. Dean smirked when he saw Cas unravel below him, he took off his boxers and ordered Castiel to do the same. Now fully naked, Dean went down to Cas’s leaking cock and licked the precum, the bitter tase exploding in his mouth. Without warning Dean took all of Cas in his mouth, gagging a bit when the tip hit the back of his throat. He started bobbing his head up and down while swallowing around him. “Ah fuck..do that again.” Cas told Dean, he swallowed around him again, making his boyfriend cry out. Cas was a moaning mess under him, “D-Dean I’m close!” Cas managed to say. Dean stopped what he was doing immediately causing Cas to let out a whimper, “No, I want this to last as long as possible.” Dean said. Now that Cas had calmed down a bit, Dean was ready to continue. He grabbed a bottle of lube from his nightstand and got ready to pour it on his fingers, “No, I want you inside of me now. No prep.” Cas said, “Are you sure, I don’t want to hurt you?” Dean asked, “Yes”. Dean poured the lube on his hard member, he looked at Castiel’s hole and put the tip on top, teasing him a bit before going in. Cas moved back, trying to get Dean’s cock inside, Dean allowed it only because it was his birthday. He put it in slowly, he heard Cas take in a sharp breath and stopped, “keep going.” Castiel told him. Dean continued to put it in slowly until he bottomed out, he waited a moment for Cas to adjust before moving. He started at a slow pace, but both men were already feeling the pleasure. It was obvious that Castiel was trying to keep in his moans, “I want to hear you.” Dean said, a few loud moans and whimpers could be heard coming from the smaller man’s mouth. Dean went faster now, he thrusted at different angels, looking for Castiel’s prostate. He knew he found it when Cas shouted his name, Dean hit the bundle of nerves harder every time. “Dean-oh-mm!” was all Cas was able to let out. Both of them were moaning loudly, they would probably get a complaint later for all the noise, that didn’t matter at the moment. Cas came shouting Dean’s name, Dean came moments later, coming hard into Cas. He pulled out, leaving Cas feeling empty. Their bed and some of Cas was covered in cum, Dean planned on dealing with that when they got up, now, he wanted to hold Castiel in his arms. Dean kissed the top of Castiel’s head, “Happy birthday babe. I love you.” he said, “I love you too.” Cas responded, soon they both fell asleep in each other’s arms.

[falling-rivers]

Fanfiction: Stuck in a (Coca Cola) Bottle With You

Stuck in a (Coca Cola) Bottle With You

A/N: After binge-watching the entirety of the Supernatural series in May of 2016, I sat down and wrote out several short fiction pieces for Destiel.  This is a  fanfiction which takes place sometime between season 4 and season 5, considering certain characters are around.

Q: What’s the link/title for?

A: Link is to the song that the title parodies, by Stealers Wheel. It’s a good song, if you wanna listen.

“That freaking joker…that goddamn trickster,” Dean snapped. He was not happy. He had not intended to spend the better half of his afternoon trapped inside a freaking soda bottle.

“Dean,” Cas said, his voice strangely level given the situation. “Blaspheming the trickster won’t do any good.”

“No, but it makes me feel better,” Dean sulked.

Cas raised an eyebrow, and looked at their surroundings, seeing that Dean definitely did not want to talk.

The soda bottle they were trapped in was an old glass Coca Cola bottle. Although it was clear, it was hard to see through.

“How are we going to get out of here?” Dean asked, turning back to Cas. Cas shrugged.

“I would teleport us out, but considering we’re much smaller than the bottle…I’m not sure that would be a wise choice. …How did the trickster even find us to begin with?”

Dean grumbled. “I don’t know,” he said, “I guess this stupid case we got wrapped up in…”

Cas raised an eyebrow and turned to face Dean. He looked guilty. “Dean, what is it?”

“The trickster… The trickster is Gabriel.”

Cas felt himself tense as he remembered his time in heaven, millennia there, with Gabriel, and Michael, and Raphael… He shuddered. He knew what Gabriel was capable of.

“So why has he trapped me in here as well?” Cas wondered aloud. As he pondered it, he didn’t notice Dean turning bright red. He had an idea of why they were trapped in the stupid bottle together, but he didn’t want to voice it, if it was true.

“I don’t know, man,” he lied, and ran his hand behind his head, feigning an itch. Cas wouldn’t know it as anything but that, given how socially awkward he was. Eternity up in heaven could do that to anyone, he supposed, and learning to understand human nature was going to be quite the learning experience for him.

“Well, regardless, we’ll have to figure out how to get out of here,” Cas sighed. “But if it’s Gabriel… It’s not going to be easy to get out. It might just be a matter of waiting.”

He put his hand gently against the glass of the bottle. “Angel warding,” he grumbled, “there’s no way we’re getting out of here.”

He slid to the bottom of the bottle and looked up at Dean. “I don’t suppose Sam would be around, would he?”

Dean grimaced. “No. He’d be out getting supplies. We were in our motel room, but I was researching and Gabriel just showed up…”

Cas nodded. “I can’t understand why I’m trapped here too,” he murmured again. “How did Gabriel even find me?”

“Beats me,” Dean replied. In all honesty, he was unsure about why Cas had been dragged into this with him, but he had an idea about why. He had already decided that they’d be stuck in the bottle for a while, and he was already looking for a place on the floor that looked more comfortable than the rest.

The bottle must have tilted, because Dean lost his balance and Cas slid over towards him. “Shit,” Dean grumbled, and raised his voice, “what was that for, you–”

“Dean,” Cas warned. Dean went quiet. He didn’t know exactly what it was with angels and swearing, but he knew they didn’t like it. Cas stood and walked over to Dean. “Are you hurt?” He asked.

“No,” Dean grumbled. “I’m fine. Just wasn’t expecting someone to tip the freaking bottle over, that’s all.”

Cas sat down next to him. “Well,” he murmured, “all we can do is wait for Sam to do something about it.”

Sam unlocked the door to the motel room and tossed the keys on the table next to him before he looked up. “Dean?” He asked, panic rising in his voice.

“Hiya, Sammy,” a familiar voice came from behind him. Sam whirled to face the archangel.

“Gabriel,” he hissed, “I should have known. What have you done with Dean?”

Gabriel shrugged. “I just figured, it was about time him and Castiel talked through things. Everyone up in Heaven has had about enough of watching them give eachother eyes and …” He gestured. “So I just hurried things along.”

Sam was starting to panic even more. “Gabriel, what have you done with my brother?”

Gabriel held up an empty, glass Coca Cola bottle. Sam made a grab for it, seeing two tiny forms inside. “Dean!” He cried.

“Now, now, Sammy, you clown. They’ll be let out after they talk,” Gabriel said, giving him a pointed look. “In the meantime, can I offer you anything? Cookies? Brownies? Cake?”

Sam glared at him, his hands clenched into white knuckled fists. “I want my brother back,” he spat out. Gabriel rolled his eyes.

“You’ll get him back,” he promised. “I’m personally just tired of Castiel pining over him all the time. It’s bad enough with Michael and Raphael acting all tough and powerful, but Castiel… Castiel does not deserve the sorrow he is feeling.”

“And what if Dean doesn’t feel the same?” Sam asked.

Gabriel shrugged. “Then he doesn’t, I suppose. I’m not going to smite him, if that’s what you’re wondering. Not that I would have to. I’ve seen the way he looks at Castiel.”

Sam blinked, stunned by his words. Now that he thought about it, though, Gabriel was right. Dean had a soft spot for the Angel, even though it was clear he hated all those feathery ass douchebags.

Gabriel chuckled and brushed past Sam, sitting down on the armchair in the corner. He put the bottle down on the table and looked at it. “Well,” he murmured, “this could take a while.”

Hours had passed within the bottle, and Dean wasn’t sure if the time outside had differed much. The hazy lighting from the glass was still light, but Dean’s watch told him otherwise. It was practically midnight, and after everything, he was getting pretty damn tired. The only thing keeping him awake was the knowledge that Cas would probably watch him sleep, and as comforting as he found it, it still made him nervous. What if he called out for him in his sleep? How would he explain it to Cas?

Dean felt Cas’s eyes on him, and it was making him uncomfortable. He had already memorized the backs of both of his hands, and was staring so intently now at his palms that he was sure he would be able to see them when he closed his eyes.

“Dean?”

His breath hitched at the sound of Cas’s voice breaking the silence. He glanced up and met the Seraph’s eyes.

“Yeah, Cas?” His voice felt much more hoarse than he would have expected it would be. “What is it?”

Cas glanced away momentarily, and Dean hoped he was gathering his thoughts, rather than deciding not to talk at all.

“I … I wanted to talk to you about something,” he said quietly. “I just … I don’t know how to explain it.”

Dean could have laughed. So that was his problem? “You can talk to me about anything, man,” he promised, looking at the Seraph in earnest.

“Anything?” Cas hesitated, and met Dean’s eyes with a worried expression from his own. Brief confusion flashed across Dean’s face, and he gave a reassuring smile.

“Of course, anything. Why? What is it?”

Cas didn’t answer at first, and the silence that grew between them seemed to be deafening. Finally, his quiet voice pierced the stillness.

“I didn’t think it was possible, at first,” he murmured. “After all, I’m an angel, and angels are much more refined than humans—”

“Ouch,” Dean chuckled, causing Cas to falter in his speech, “I’m offended.”

Cas gave him a gaze full of apology and guilt, but continued nonetheless. “I thought that, in the beginning, when I first met you… . But after all this time, and being here for so long … I’m not as pure of an angel as I used to be,” he confessed.

“Cas, seriously?” Dean asked, then laughed a little. “Look, man, if you think I don’t think as highly of you because you’re rebelling against Heaven and all those angels being feathery assed douches, you’re wrong. You’re freaking amazing.”

A small smile tugged at the corner of Cas’s mouth. “That’s not what this is about, Dean.”

“All right?” The questioning in Dean’s voice was so innocent, it almost made Cas want to stop entirely in his confession. But he wasn’t sure he could keep it inside of him much longer.

Jimmy Novak and he had already talked about it inside of his head multiple times, and while Jimmy wasn’t entirely pleased with the idea, he wasn’t about to stop Castiel in any way. He was, after all, a vessel willing to do the work of God. Although, Cas was quite positive that the “work of God” did not encompass what he wanted.

“Cas?” Dean asked, drawing the Seraph from his thoughts. He met Dean’s eyes once more, and, unable to explain with words anymore, he lunged over and closed the space between Dean and himself.

Eyes closed, hands running roughly through Dean’s hair, Cas was sure there had never been anything quite so pleasant that he had experienced. There was only a moment before Dean’s arms wrapped around Cas’s waist and held him close. Cas sucked in a gasp of shock at the warm feeling that spread throughout him at the touch. He felt it hard to keep the smile that was forming on his mouth off of his face.

“What’re you smiling about?” Dean mumbled against Cas’s lips.

Cas shrugged, and pulled away. “This. This is what I’m smiling about. I’ve wanted this for so long. I’ve been watching over you, making sure that you and your brother are safe, ever since I rescued you from the pit. I have these emotions for you … they’re so strong, and I can’t bear to see you hurt. It’s caused myself a lot of trouble, but I honestly don’t care … as long as you’re safe.”

Dean couldn’t help but smile either. “Well, buddy, I hate to break it to you, but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since the moment I met you.”

Cas raised an eyebrow, causing Dean to elaborate. “That whole, ‘gripped you tight and raised you from perdition’ spiel, that was hot. That was the best pick-up line I have ever heard, and I didn’t even think I was gay.”

Cas laughed. “That was hardly a pick-up line, Dean,” he said, but after a second he realized what Dean meant. “Oh,” he said, and laughed again.

Cas’s fingers ran through Dean’s hair again, and Dean leaned into his touch. Cas felt a sense of relief at having expressed his feelings to Dean. It was as though a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders.

“This is such a human emotion,” Cas murmured, wrapping his hands around Dean’s shoulder. His wings, phantom to Dean, followed his hands and wrapped them both in a cocoon of feathers.

“It’s okay, man, it’s normal,” Dean murmured. He sound fairly tired, and Cas looked over to find his eyes shut.

“Not for an angel,” Cas reminded him.

“We’ll figure it out,” Dean promised. “I’m here for you. I’ll always be here for you.”

Those words resonated within Cas’s very being, and he had to choke back his happiness, as he would have cried with joy–and Dean was falling asleep.

Cas was still holding Dean when Gabriel released them from the bottle. Sam was sitting on the chair across from the archangel, and Gabriel was leaning back, looking awfully pleased with himself.

“Well?” He asked Cas, as he glanced over at Dean. Cas instinctively tensed, and pulled Dean closer to him, wanting to protect him from harm.

“Relax, Castiel,” Gabriel said, “I’m not going to play anymore tricks on you. I personally just thought it was time you stopped pining over him. And obviously that worked out for the better.” He grinned, and Cas’s glare did nothing to wipe it from his face.

His attention turned to Sam. “You did nothing to stop this?” He demanded, his deep voice gravelly and void of emotion.

Sam swallowed, and started to explain that he’d tried, but Cas’s glare silenced him.

“So, Dean–” Sam started, and hesitantly stopped.

Cas glanced down at the hunter next to him. “It’s been a long and stressful day for us both. He needs rest, but he should be fine. Gabriel, we need to talk, alone.” He laid Dean down on the bed and stood, facing the archangel.

“Well,” Gabriel sighed “I guess I don’t get a ‘thank you’ for this one. Ungrateful.” With a snap of his fingers, he vanished into thin air.

Cas grumbled, and with a flap of his wings, he was gone as well.

Dean pried his eyes open the following morning and groaned. He hadn’t slept that great in ages. He sat up on the bed, and had to blink several times before he adjusted to the scene around him.

Sam was sitting at the table, on his computer. “Morning,” he said, “Cas left last night.”

Dean nodded, vaguely remembering the night before. “What happened with Gabriel?” He asked.

Sam shrugged. “He split, and Cas followed him.” Dean’s heart fell.

“Oh,” he murmured, “Alright.”

As he got out of bed, his fingers brushed against something beneath his pillow. He pulled it out and a small smile grew on his face.

Cas had left him a single black feather. Dean put it in his duffel bag and got dressed for the day. He wasn’t worried about this hunt, or the next hunt, or any hunt after that.

Turns out, he did have an angel watching over him after all.