#chad is also bi i fear

[sadkachow]

(stares at notes app)

what if i rewrote high school musical and made it gayer

[jennrypan]

In honor of the Monster High resurrection, gonna make some headcanons!

(Theyd all be around college age though cept foor Howleen, Twyla etc)

Clawd:

- Absolutely has a crush on Deuce. Hes a bisexual disaster, save him.

- He can pick up all of his friends and sometimes..its not a good thing cuz when hes angry..his first instinct is to throw them and no one likes being thrown-

- Hes immortal along with the rest of the wolves cuz its wack that vampires are the only immortal ones. They stop aging at around 30 at least. The Wolfes arent as old as Draculara though.

- Draculara only baby sat Howleen, she needed some money, Claudia was at College, Clawdeen had school and Clawd has after school practice so there she is! Clawd had an instant crush on her cuz shes just really pretty.

- Realized he was bi when it came to Rumulus.

- When he dated Cleo he tried to be romantic but they were too busy and he refused to just let her order him around and when she was rude he'd point it out (This was before Cleo turned nicer ofc) and they argued a lot, cuz they both have tempers but Clawds nicer. She did have a crush on him and he liked her too but that faded ..quickly. He doesnt hate her but hes indifferent to her

- Favorite color is pink and gold cuz I said so-

- his hair is naturally curly (Like Howleens orange hair) cuz..it sucks that they gave him Chad hair instead of somethin like Howleens original hair style (has it in locks)

- He is the second oldest and he lives by himself (not a headcanon a fact but i wanna say it) hes 19

- He absolutely was annoyed with Clawdeen poking her nose in his business a few times..and during Dracularas birthday he hated how his gifts werent..good enough to their standards.

- He still hates Valentine to this day and its On Sight if he sees him again-

- Still growls at Toralei when she comes around cuz..that whole thing was her fault.

- He strong af. Absolutely could have and wouldve bench pressed those two normie dudes cuz they were j e r k s.

HEATH

- He realized he was bi during this scene specifically-

Cuz Clawd had NO reason to be that close and Heath just went "O OH WAIT-"

- Heath always tries to find excuses to give Abby his jacket

- He has a whole list of ice puns just for Abby- she laughed at one of them and he just about died on the spot

- Has kissed Deuce at least once, it was a game of truth or dare and it double confirmed he was bi

- He wasnt quiet about this either and just ran around the halls with bi colors "GUESS WHAT, HEATHSTER IS NOT JUST A HIT WITH THE GHOULS BUT THE GENTS TOO!" 👈👈 and everyone accepted that but also..they told him to stop screaming-

- During the halloween movie (Ghouls Rule??) He was super worried about Jackson and constantly made sure he was okay by slipping him notes..ofc the note said 'U good?' But its the thought that counts

- No thoughts head empty only shenanigans (Clawd and Manny absolutely agree with this)

MANNY

- Everyone grabs his nose ring a lot- sometimes he just covers his nose (Not out of fear but he hates leaning down like that) but doing that..makes him look ridiculous and less threatening so-

- He had a crush on Iris for a while and could only show it but holding her books for her or helping her with reaching things but he couldnt say a full sentence to her without freaking out, Clawd and Deuce tried to help him but..theyre also kinda clueless so that just ended up with him embarrassing himself

- Iris confessed first..as she had a crush on him too and finally got the confidence to tell him after she had a talk with Cupid and Manny was over the moon

JACKSON

- Has a thing for goth girls but we been knew

- Youd think he has the brain cell of the group but nah, hes a dumbass too but hes a smart dumbass and he can bullshit better than the guys

- Clawd and Deuce are always trying to get him to work out with them and he just about dies, cuz he has good leg strength but his arms are like noodles compared to theirs

- He likes Neighton (Unicorn horse dude) he thinks hes really pretty and absolutely gushed about him with Frankie..before he realized thats not what you do when you wanna be friends with someone- (Cupid made him realize it was a crush)

- Frankie will always be his number one though, but he knows relationships are something you explore with, you dont just have to have one crush

- Might be poly but he doesnt know yet, hed like to try it out

HOLT

- Only hes allowed to use 'Frankie Fine' Heath tried to use it but he just kicked him in the shin

- Holt runs around a lot so he has some strong ass legs-

- he and Heath toast marshmellows on each others heads

- He and Heath are basically "Prepare for trouble, and make it double!"

- Has a silly nickname for most people

Heath: Heatie Heat

Clawd: Howler

Deuce: Stonebro

Neighton: Zombabe

DEUCE

- Enjoys talking to Rochelle as he doesnt have to use his shades

- Hates when people ask him about the greek stories..he refuses to explain cuz its not his problem

- Has kissed Heath and Clawd

- Hes a lot of peoples bisexual awakening or females just have crushes on him a lot cuz hes easy going and cmon. Hes handsome as hell.

- He and Clawd are Chaotic together but he makes sure Clawd doesnt get himself in trouble..someone has to have the braincell and it aint Clawd. Even though..Deuce loves watching shenanigans

- Makes sure Cleos nicer and he gives her little gold and silver stickers when she does something nice (She has the stickers on a notebook but shhh no one knows...cept Deuce but he'll act like he doesnt)

- He hates how Cleo listens to her dad a lot and tries to help her see hes just a big ole doucher

- Was the one to introduce Seth (Pharaoh) to the guys, cuz hed definitely start going to Monster High after Boo York

- Clawd, Cleo and Heath have named his snakes..how they remembered which ones he doesnt know but he finds it cute. The snakes know their names too-

GIL

- His parents are basically Karens and he hates it.

- At 18, he started to rebel with the help of Deuce, Clawd and Lagoona and he tried to get out of his shell more..which took a lot of doing..as he was scared hes gonna hurt himself

- He thinks he can skate..he cant but he tries and thats all that matters-

- Basically a sheltered rich boy- he has no concept of prices

- sometimes he gets soo wrapped up in cheering Lagoona on he forgets hes in the same swim competition and he needs to actually do something-

- For a long time Heath thought he couldnt breath without his helmet on so as a prank Gil pretended to break it and act as if he couldnt breath and Heath almost cried-

- Another one that gets forced to work out with the guys and he just about died

(He felt bad immediately after and apologized-)

Ok this got long but like- thats all i got for now !

[alternativespookster]

Hi I have severe hypmic brainrot and will now proceed to subject y’all to it. Have my various gender and sexuality headcanons. Also I am trans and mlm so you’ll have to bare with me.

Ichiro: gay gay homosexual gay. Ichikukojyushi polycule real trust me I’m literally jyushi. We all may make hentai lover ichiro jokes but I feel like he’s ace of some sort. He’s cis but he’s also he/they because he just rejects gender. Good for him

Jiro: cis straight Chad but like somehow I feel like he grows up into a himbo and wow does that make me think about making him a little fruity.

Saburo: non-binary. They are just too gender to not be. Gender envy right here right now. Yes I have gender envy for a 14 year old, no it’s not weird. Also their fourteen so I have no thoughts on their sexuality.

Samatoki: but like is that trauma I smell? I don’t know man have daddy issues and sharing cigarette kisses with 2+ men is kinda smelling like gay to me? And he’s a lesbian protector. Also cis but literally you cannot convince me he isn’t the best trans ally ever.

Jyuto: gives me gay and homophobic. But I will put him into the bisexuality corner because I can’t deny the truth. Trans man bc his haircut is just giving off vibes.

Rio: TRANS MAN!!! YOU CANT HAVE TIDDIES LIKE THAT WITHOUT RAISING SUSPICION!! TRANS DETECTOR GOING OFFF. Also a sweet southern bisexual man. God I love him.

Ramuda: okay he’s trans and pansexual and do NOT argue with me on this one it is TRUE KING RECORDS TOLD ME.

Gentaro: he’s- he’s literally the non-binary flag colors. Also bi with a fem lean. Pronouns She/He because I’m not a coward.

Dice: instead of gay and homophobic he’s giving trans and does not know what gender is. Bi and prolly she/he/they because once again, I am not a coward his name is DICE. DAISU. NO CIS PERSON HAS A NAME LIKE THAT.

Jakurai: quizzical old gay man. Elder queer. I just know in my soul he’s old and gay. Also like he/she but in the gnc I like being feminine but I’m certainly not female way. But no please jakurai using feminine pronouns but masculine nouns just feels good in my soul.

Hifumi: trans man. Another trans male you can pry from my cold dead hands. Pan or bi bc yes his love of women is different but he literally has gynophobia so please understand it’s not possible for it to be perfectly the same.

Doppo: agender. He was so so uncomfortable dressing as a lady in that one arb event but it’s bc no gender instead of trans man with dysphoria bc jyuto isn’t transphobic. This is not my only argument but “too tired for gender” isn’t all that compelling now is it? Also is he gay or does he too have a fear of women? Like I just feel like doppo is genuinely afraid of having relationships women bc of chuuoku but I shouldn’t think about it that hard. They/He but doesn’t correct ppl and apologizes to them when they misgender him/only use he/him.

Kuko: hmmm non-binary. And technically this man should not be any type of sexual but you know what he gets a pass. Technically he’s not supposed to touch the opposite sex… and he isn’t so like you go dude, be gay do crime.

Jyushi: you can’t even pry trans male Jyushi out of my dead hands I’m right. Also he’s bi. But god damn is he very male leaning. Oh he also gives big he/she/they vibes but also I’m kinda like hmmmmm. Is he just very feminine?? Bc if so me too dude. He/him strictly but very fem gang.

Hitoya: also gives quizzical old gay vibes. He trans because I say so. Literally he’s just so vivacious.

Sasara: gay gay home of sexual gay. Literally have you met this man??? Just so fruity. He’s probably cis but this guy is just so gender. So maybe a he/they. As a treat.

Rosho: okay that is a trans man if I’ve ever seen one. Also like gives off the vibes of a gay but surprisingly he does in fact like women! A bicon if I do say so myself!

Rei: cishet. Like I want him to be gay so so bad but he is not a gay he’s just that much of a disaster straight. He feels like a true old gay man and I just want to hand him the trophy but no I can’t lie he is cishet and would probably kill me💙

Otome: cis but the biest woman to ever bi. Literally I don’t care if everyone and their mother thinks she’s a lesbian I have to be honest she’s a bi woman scorned horridly.

Ichijuku: a trans lesbian. I’m no coward literally prove me wrong you can’t.

Nemu my love, the one woman I would get on one knee for instead of two: trans trans trans please let me have this one. At least non-binary. Please let me HAVE THIS. Also like I love her so much but she is a slightly mean bi lady and Ichijuku is the mean lesbian not the other way around. She would be a wonderfully girl boss mean lesbian though

[gizkasparadise]

how did you know you were pan? do you have advice for someone under the umbrella trying to figure out if they're bi or pan? maybe it's something i'm overthinking, any advice appreciated!

this is very long but LOL welcome to my Journey i guess. i bolded things to separate my figuring out “queer” and then figuring out “pan”

[homophobia cw/tw, mentions of abuse] figuring out i was queer took a long time. i grew up in a homophobic household and i was raised Very catholic. when i was coming into my teens/encountering was sex meant for the first time, it was during a time where legalizing gay marriage was very very much in the public sphere (i cant remember the exact legislature, but i want to say proposition 8?). i lived on military bases throughout my entire childhood.

i was also LOL living in wyoming at the time brokeback mountain came out & at the same time i was reaching the sexual curiosity stage--there were literally protests and sit-ins at the movie gates to prevent people from going to buy a ticket. wyoming is the most homophobic place i’ve ever lived and is where the matthew shepard murder occurred. it wasn’t uncommon for people who lived openly lgbt+ to be physically beaten up after school, and no one in authority cared when it happened. 

so i spent my adolescence in a household, culture, and location that hated everything it meant to be queer and made me hate myself and my relationship to sex very deeply because that’s what i was taught. i’d have go on what was called an abstinence retreat but now realize was a lowkey pre-conversion session where some fucker named chad (literally chad) wore puka shells and played an acoustic guitar and sung songs about jesus in between diatribes on how being a lesbian causes your family constant pain and how women’s bodies were meant to “receive” according to god. that wasn’t an uncommon attitude in the catholic church, probably still isn’t, but for obvious reasons i am no longer catholic. 

i had A LOT of internalized homophobia that likely registered as discomfort and fear around those who were out and made my relationship to sex toxic as fuck, which would later register in my relationships with men going forward. i’ve had a bad relationship to sex since i was a child, for reasons i wont get to here, but it was made even worse as i exited high school and began college. because of how i presented (”tomboy,” played softball, did construction, dressed punk, etc), people assumed i was queer. which made me uncomfortable because i was still warring with that identity, still very much living in a homophobic household and area, and still processing my own internalized hatred. then people insisted i was queer to the point of physical, sexual harassment--both from women and men. in the case of a particularly terrible relationship, the man i was dating insisted i was bisexual and constantly used that as a way to try to manipulate me into having threesomes (sidenote: when i came out i got a lot of ~i always knew and DO NOT DO THAT to people who are coming out)

so that set me back LOL

here’s what changed:

i moved. i cannot stress enough how important it ended up being to physically distance myself from the people who made my life so toxic (not just w/ sexuality, but again, that’s a whole ‘nother post). i was able to cut people out of my life who very much needed to be cut out of it. i moved away from my family (who i love, but love much better at a distance)

i made queer friends. eventually my number of queer friends outgrew my number of straight friends. i talked to people who made me feel like i belonged and feel like i didn’t have to hate myself

i took off dating for awhile after a particularly hard, emotionally abusive relationship. 2 years? i think?? (not that it matters. i was in a consecutive line of them for almost all of my adolescence) it was time i needed. and when i started dating again, it was with someone i could 100% trust (current spouse)

it still took a few years. comparatively i havent been out that long, but i am feeling so much better and emotionally healthier now that i am

why pan? 

this is very flippant, but i said it out loud and it felt right. i dont experience sexual attraction based on gendered characteristics (which NO is not the same as ‘hearts not parts’ which is a fucking gross statement that i do not endorse. at all). i dont see it as more inclusive as bisexual. more that there’s a big venn diagram between the two

figuring out where you’re at under that umbrella of sexual fluidity, however you define it, is a tough thing to do. im gonna be honest in saying get the fuck off tumblr and talk to people you trust about it. tumblr is so inundated in discourse and vitriol it will make you think that every single person hates whatever you identify as in the current moment. it fosters toxic exclusive/gatekeeping behaviors in the LGBT+ community. tumblr =/= the world. it IS helpful to talk to people and follow blogs through careful curation. talk to individuals on tumblr instead of going into tags.

almost everyone i know who is under that umbrella has moved under that umbrella, ex: pan to bi. there’s nothing wrong with trying on the different hats until you find something that feels right. none of them are inherently better or more valid than the other. i feel like tumblr contributes to the pressure of identity politics, esp if you (you poor soul) stumble across pan vs bi Discourse. i, for instance, am pan but if im called bi it’s not the end of the universe. sometimes i even use that identifier when im with people who are not from the queer community and i am too tired to be an Educator 

you don’t have to know right away. in fact, you don’t have to know at all. you can also change, because you change as you live your life. you could also use both! i know a few people who identify as both pan and bi. or identified as one and moved to the other. 

long winded way of saying these two points:

don’t only listen to tumblr

take your time

it’s your life. take as many detours as you need and don’t let someone else take control of the navigation

[bluebyrd-screaming]

Books that I've read, but I really didn't like and still dont sit right with me: (spoilers for all of them, I'll try to put the appropriate trigger warnings)

Call of the Wild

It just felt gross. a white dude, through the perspective of a dog, violently killed a bunch of native Americans so that he could be feared by them as the ultimate alpha. Nasty

It also doesnt help that my teacher made us take a month to read it despite the book being 71 pages

Wringer

(Tw, harming of animals) A book about a town with a tradition if shooting pigeons and wringing their necks, starting at about ten. This kid decides that he doesnt want to do it bc he has formed a bond with one of the pigeons and I'm pretty sure he tries to run away

My english teacher forced us to read a book that describes the feeling of snapping a pigeons neck at 11/12 years old

And All of Us with Wings

(Tw sexual assult/pedophila) I was promised queer representation and instead I got pedophilia. The actually gay representation was a gay couple who died before to book started to fuel the backstory of the CAT, the pedophile talking about how he had sucked a dick once, and a bi girl who tried to drug and rape the main character

Now for the pedophilia: the main character becomes the nanny for the daughter of a popular band and moves in with them after being raped by her father figure. She has lied about her age, but it really 17, and the band leader is 28 (and her boss). He uses the knowledge of her rape to say that she's so much more mature and grown up than other girls because of it so it's okay that they are in a relationship together

Anthem

Not the worst offender, but it was all about "what if you lived in a world where you couldn't choose who you were" and being a queer person, it wasn't that hard to imagine. Had my parents not been as accepting, or had I been born in their generation, I probably wouldn't have been as free with my queerness as I am

Also, when the main dude breaks free from being under the communist group, he just becomes an incel, the ultimate enlightened Chad, if you will. He starts calling everything his and assigns a name to his girlfriend, despite trying to escape people who did exactly that

Catcher in the Rye

The bitch thinks hes better than everybody else bc he purposefully flunked out of school. He cries about it to his teacher, despite telling this teacher that he wanted to be flunked

Towards the end of the book, he sneaks into his house and goes into his sisters room where he stands there while she's sleeping and just, smokes a cigarette. They have a weird little conversation then he leaves. When she wakes up, her parents ask her if she's been smoking in her room bc she is a child and they dont know the main dude was there

The Great Gatsby

I just didn't get it. Guy lives in super rich neighborhood and complains that his neighbors are super rich. He doesnt really have a purpose to be there other than to be a shitty narrator who wants to date gatsby

These are the worst ones that I can think of for now. Feel free to add books that you didn't like or give commentary to mine!!

[overdramatic-queer-antagonist]

I just want one love triangle that actually makes a triangle so I wrote the first chapter to a book.

Everybody thinks I’m straight. I don’t really know why but if I had to guess, it’s because I do sports, am popular, and hang out with primarily white guys named Chad. And people think. I imagine a lot of the time, when they look at me, they’re thinking, “why is he the only guy on the football team not named Chad? And why did his name have to be Thomas? No one cool is ever named Thomas except for that one guy on vine.” But I bet sometimes they think, “oh that guy? Yup! No gay there. He’s on the football team he can’t be gay!” But they’re wrong. I, and about 25% of the Chad‘s are gay. But this isn’t about the Chads, this is about me, and Maxwell, and Diana. But that’s it!

Aw shit! I haven’t even mentioned Maxwell and Diana. Diana is really rich and popular. But she’s also smart and kind, which is why she was elected student body president. The rich part got her that title not the nice part. Since we're both popular we do kind of hang out together but I try to keep my communications with her to a minimum because she’s always staring at me like she knows some dark secret and it’s scary. You have an experience true fear until you’ve had the most flawless person in the universe stare you down like you’re the scum of the earth. I try to imagine what she’s thinking but frankly I have no idea. And Maxwell is the most handsome amazing man in the whole school. He’s really quiet and doesn’t talk much but he’s got fantastic grades in art class. For a good reason too, everything he’s ever made is amazing. Yeah I know. These protagonists aren’t the most original bunch. But I didn’t choose to be popular and I didn’t choose to be in love with the shy artist, it just happened, and it would make a great fanfiction.

OK, now that the introductions are out-of-the-way, let’s actually get the show on the road, shall we? I was at my locker, getting stuff for my next class. What else would I be doing at the locker? I don’t know why I had to say what I was doing. It seems obvious. I digress. So Diana was doing that thing that the movies do, where she walks down the hallway with two other slightly less popular girls behind her and no one else is walking down the hallway. I genuinely have no idea how that happened or why she was walking down the hallway seeing as how her next period is lunch and both the exit and cafeteria are both the other way and none of them have food. She was staring at me again and I felt like she was about to sick wolves on me so I decided to turn to something that would make me less terrified. Except I’m dumb and gay so instead I went to look at Maxwell and- HOLY SHIT WAS THAT A BI FLAG?? OH GOD I HOPE SO!! Anyways I think he saw me looking at him because he was looking at me too and he also looked like he was going to sick wolves on me. Do I have a kick me sign on my back? Why is everyone so mad at me? This is especially unfair because Maxwell is just as graceful and beautiful angry as he is happy. So now I’m panicking for four different reasons and kind of wishing I could just jump in my locker and hide. Alas it was one of those two per column kinds so I wouldn’t fit. I now realize I have five different reasons to panic because guess what my next class is. Art! You know the class I have with the beautiful shy, talented artist who I am hopelessly in love with and is currently staring daggers at me? Why does God insist I must suffer?

Oh boy! The bell rang and like the garage student I am I didn’t go straight to class. I still made it before the second bell but I didn’t prioritize it and everyone was already there. Is that why those two hate me so much? They both are really smart maybe that’s it. Perhaps that’s why Diana was walking the wrong way. Maybe she was getting a head start on her next class. Maybe Maxwell could tell I was questioning her and he was horrified by my stupidity. Oh gosh I hope not! I would die of embarrassment! OK it probably won’t be that severe but I would cry in the bathroom for two or three days listening to Taylor Swift. I truly am the paragon of popularity aren’t I?

I either dozed off or just don’t care enough to write what happened in our class. I don’t remember which but it’s definitely one of them because the next thing happens at lunch. Me and the Chads were all sitting out at the bleachers talking about football stuff. You know... like… oh man I have no clue. I kinda wasn’t listening because Maxwell was drawing under the tree near the bleachers and the wind was blowing in his eyes and I got distracted. The shocking part is that the Chads that were also gay we’re not staring. I don’t know why this is. Maybe because homosexuals are individual human beings- no that’s too out there. My eyes kind of started to glaze over after a while so everyone else around me was completely aware of what was going on but I was just thinking about the glow cloud from Welcome to Night Vale. What self-respecting parents let an omnipotent being that rains farm animals I’m to the PTA? Why is the PTAs word law? I then remembered that the glow cloud was head of the school board and I felt stupid. Sadly, by the time I had come to that conclusion somebody was already pushing me in the shoulder so I couldn’t think any deeper about this pressing subject.

“HUH? WHAT TIME IS I- oh hi Maxwell,” I looked up to see two beautiful violet eyes staring sharply back at me.

“What is wrong with you?” The now kind of scary but still beautiful classmate of mine asked firmly.

“What are you-“

“Why in the world would you play with such a nice, beautiful girl’s heart like that?”

“I'd give you a response if I had any idea what you were talking about.”

“I can’t tell if you’re stupid or an asshole!”

“Stupid is a safe assumption,” I missed thinking about the glow cloud, or the wolves for that matter.

“OK then maybe I should be less aggressive about this,” Maxwell turned around with his face to his palm mumbling to himself before he turned back around with a phony smile, “Hi I’m Maxwell! I’m in your art class! You’re accidentally toying with the most popular girl in school’s feelings and I just so happen to have feelings for her. Isn’t this uncomfortable?”He was right. This was uncomfortable. I decided he was messing with me and started awkwardly laughing hoping he would start laughing less awkwardly back. He didn’t he just stared off into the distance like a soul left his body. Which it probably did. He just outed someone else’s crush and his own crush in one sentence. And unbeknownst to him the guy who had a crush on him was also the guy laughing uncomfortably in his face. But I have been laughing for too long and everyone else just stood there silently so I decided the best course of action was to respond.

“What are you talking about?” I decided on.

“Oh my god you’re so dense-“ he broke out of his stand still coma just to say.

“Nope!” I impulsively interrupted, “ just gay and incredibly uncomfortable!”

His eyes widened as he looked back at me, the idiot who had just outed himself on accident.

“ Oh God I am a dick!” He said less harsh, “ you were aware Diana had a crush on you weren’t you,”

“Nope! I thought she wanted me dead!”

“But she stares at you all the time.”

“Yeah well you were staring at me last period.”

“But that was a death glare. Can’t you tell the difference?”

“You guys had the same expression.”

“OK let me rephrase this. You don’t want to upset her now that you know right?”

“No.”

“That’s good, you have a moral code. I will help you let her down in a way that doesn’t upset anybody.”

“I don’t mean to sound rude or anything but you’re not doing this because you want her attention right?” I guess Maxwell hadn’t even thought of that because a horrified expression one across his face before he quickly shook his head no.

“I’m the quiet kid in the back of the class, I don’t think it’s physically possible to confess. Besides, it's less of a crush in the romantic sense, and more of a ‘I care so deeply about her I want to help her in any way I can’ sense. We actually grew up together and I-“

“I will accept your offer as long as there is no mention of a dramatic backstory of any sorts,” I interrupted him putting my finger to his mouth. This was too much human contact for me. I uncomfortably moved my finger back quickly as to not make things more awkward.

Maxwell sighed as he put his hand out for me to shake, “do we have a deal?”

I looked at his sketchbook now lying on the floor. This is gonna sting. I clasped his hand, “deal.”

[maddie-grove]

Bi-Monthly Reading Round-Up: March/April

PLAYLIST

“Hey, Little Songbird” from Hadestown (The Wager)

“New Slang” by the Shins (Spinners)

“Auto de Fé” from Candide (October Wind)

“Let’s Generalize about Men” from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (Mrs. Martin’s Incomparable Adventure)

“Juice” by Lizzo (Shrill)

“Love’s Been Good to Me” by Frank Sinatra (Sex and Violence)

“Heroes” by David Bowie (Cracker Jackson)

“Listen to Her Heart” by Tom Petty and the Hearbreakers (The Cybil War)

“Satellite of Love” by Lou Reed (The T.V. Kid)

“Distant Shores” by Chad and Jeremy (Love’s Willing Servant)

“Hast Thou Considered the Tetrapod?” by the Mountain Goats (The Cartoonist)

“Ghost World” by Aimee Mann (Summer of the Swans)

“Floating Vibes” by Surfer Blood (Not the Duke’s Darling)

BEST OF THE BI-MONTH

The Wager by Donna Jo Napoli (2010): Don Giovanni de la Fortuna, a nineteen-year-old nobleman in medieval Sicily, loses his entire fortune to a tidal wave and soon finds himself on the brink of starvation. That’s when the Devil comes knocking with an offer: endless money for the rest of his life if he doesn’t bathe, cut his hair, shave, or change his clothes for three years, three months, and three days. This is a retelling of a lesser-known Sicilian fairy tale and, next to the sublime Breath, it’s Napoli’s best work. Instead of taking the easy route of making Don Giovanni a stupid brat who learns to be nicer and more frugal, she complicates things by making him sweet and resourceful from the beginning, as well as callow and somewhat thoughtless. (His first action after seeing the damage wrought by the tidal wave is to go out and help bury the dead for three straight days.) This makes the message of the book more powerful; if someone deep-down good and intelligent can stand to think more about others and help the less fortunate, then clearly that lesson applies to everyone, not just the worst sort of rich people. Don Giovanni’s unprocessed grief over his long-dead parents and longing for human connection are also very affecting.

WORST OF THE BI-MONTH

Spinners by Donna Jo Napoli and Richard Tchen (1999): In medieval-ish Scotland, a poor tailor longs to marry his sweetheart, a spinner, but her father will only consent if the tailor can show he’ll be a good provider. The tailor tries to make a dress that appears to be made of gold and succeeds; however, he still loses his sweetheart to a rich miller and his health to a magic spinning wheel (as one does). Years later, the sweetheart’s daughter, now a skilled spinner in her own right, finds herself in trouble when a king gets the wrong impression about her being able to spin straw into gold. File this one under “cool idea, half-assed execution.” After a certain point, Napoli seems to run out of her own ideas and just follows “Rumpelstiltskin” to its original conclusion. This wouldn’t be great for any fairy-tale retelling, but the ludicrous “Rumpelstiltskin” needs more reworking than most. Also, the tailor’s sweetheart is such an ableist tool! I’d get it if she chose the rich miller out of concern for financial security, but she just dumps the tailor because the magic spinning wheel basically gave him a supernatural stroke and she thinks it made him evil? You can do better, baby!

REST OF THE BI-MONTH

The Cartoonist by Betsy Byars (1978): Alfie Mason, a quiet eleven-year-old, takes refuge from his unhappy family in the tiny attic of his ramshackle house, drawing faintly absurd cartoons. Then his ne’er-do-well older brother Bubba loses his job, prompting a way-too-excited Mrs. Mason to decide to renovate the attic into a bedroom...so Alfie barricades himself in the attic and throws the family into chaos without saying a word. I first read this book when I was eleven, and even then I found it deeply upsetting. Mrs. Mason seems incapable of seeing anyone but Bubba as a full human being, and she never regrets hurting Alfie or her daughter Alma in order to benefit her eldest. The best Alfie and Alma can do is call her out on it--Alfie through his silent protest, Alma by finally standing up for herself and her little brother--and try to move on. It’s certainly an unvarnished message for a middle-grade novel, but it’s not a bad one, given that some parents are just like that.

Shrill by Lindy West (2016): In this memoir, Lindy West reflects on her personal experiences with fatphobia, the general strangeness of having a human body, abortion, the ethics of comedy, and Internet trolls, among other subjects. This book was genuinely inspiring and amusing to me at a time when I greatly needed a lot of confidence and some laughs, and for that I am eternally grateful. The humor can feel very social-media-circa-2015, but there are worse things than a book capturing a specific moment.

Cracker Jackson by Betsy Byars (1985): Eleven-year-old “Cracker” Jackson Hunter realizes that Alma, his beloved former babysitter, is being physically abused by her husband. Even though his divorced parents forbid it and Alma herself warns him against angering her husband, he tries his best to help her, with mixed results. By all rights, this middle-grade novel should be a tonal mess--Jackson and his best friend Goat get involved in some legit Wacky Schemes--but instead it’s a moving portrait of a kid who has to deal with gut-wrenching adult realities while also navigating sixth-grade drama. I also loved Jackson’s three parental figures. They’re all flawed--Jackson’s mom is a worrywart about stuff that doesn’t matter, his dad can’t hold a conversation with him without lapsing into Dracula impressions, and Alma sometimes treats him more like a peer than a kid--but they all clearly care about him and try to make things okay. 

Not the Duke’s Darling by Elizabeth Hoyt (2018): Years ago, a horrific murder and a dubious attempt at revenge tore apart the lives of Christopher Renshawe and Lady Freya de Moray. Now he’s a widowed duke with severe claustrophobia and a blackmailer on his case, while she’s an undercover spy for a secret society of Scottish witches who help women. (Awesome.) (Also some of them are lesbians.) When they end up at the same house party, she vows to keep hating him for wronging her family, but does that last long? No, because they’re reasonably good at communicating and can appreciate each other’s goals! This spooky Georgian romance didn’t knock my socks off, but it’s a good start to Hoyt’s new Greycourt series and it has a light touch with the serious issues it handles.

Mrs. Martin’s Incomparable Adventure by Courtney Milan (2019): Violetta Beauchamps, a sixty-nine-year-old* bookkeeper, is cheated out of her pension by her landlord boss. In desperation, she hatches her own retirement plan: swindling Bertrice Martin, a wealthy seventy-three-year-old widow, by pretending to be her insolvent nephew’s landlady. Bertrice has refused to pay her nephew’s debts on principle, but she’s willing to make an exception if Violetta will help pester him into vacating his lodgings. Shenanigans and old-lady romance ensue. This mid-Victorian-set romance novella is like an ambiguous image (for example: that picture that’s either a vase or two faces in profile). Look at it as the tale of two L.M.-Montgomery-style elderly women falling in love, and it’s delightful; look at it for deep social commentary, and it’s pretty simplistic and sometimes even callous. I enjoyed it, but it only works on certain levels.

Summer of the Swans by Betsy Byars (1970): Lately, fourteen-year-old Sara Godfrey has been feeling awkward and out of charity with everyone: her absentee father, her plainspoken aunt, her beautiful older sister, the other kids at school, and even her little brother Charlie, who has been mostly nonverbal and easily disoriented since sustaining serious brain damage during a childhood illness. When Charlie goes missing in the night, though, her only thought is to find him. Despite loving Byars, I avoided this Newberry winner as a kid because it looked kind of boring. It is a little sedate in a classic-American-coming-of-age-story way--part “The Scarlet Ibis,” part Judy Blume--but I still loved Sara, who is always ready to throw down, and I found the depiction of Charlie to be surprisingly sensitive for the time. (The language is outdated, but the passages from Charlie’s POV aren’t condescending, plus he isn’t killed off, as I initially feared.) The descriptions of the coal-ravaged West Virginia countryside are also very evocative.

The TV Kid by Betsy Byars (1974): Lenny, a preteen living with his single mom at the kitschy Kentucky motel she owns, struggles in school and has no friends. (His family moves around a lot and he probably has a learning disability.) He has two sources of solace: watching TV and sneaking into the abandoned lake houses in his neighborhood. One day, though, his favorite hobbies get him into trouble. This was one of my favorite Byars books as a kid, even though I was not familiar with the TV landscape of 1974. I liked it a little less this time, but not because it was dated; instead, I was disconcerted by how pro-getting-bitten-by-a-rattlesnake it is. Also, a significant portion of the story is devoted to a child suffering horrible pain from a snakebite, which is harder to take as an adult reader. Still, it’s got some of that classic Byars melancholy.

The Cybil War by Betsy Byars (1981): Eleven-year-old Simon has had a crush on his classmate Cybil for years, because she does awesome stuff like advocate for more active roles for girls in the yearly school pageants. He’s not inspired to act on his feelings, though, until his awful best friend Tony decides he likes Cybil and starts talking shit to her about Simon. There’s a lot to like about this book. Cybil, with her nonchalant confidence and kindness, is a wonderful character, and Simon’s thorough admiration for her is adorable. I also like how Byars ties Simon’s complicated feelings about his deadbeat dad to his efforts to navigate small-scale fifth-grade drama; both weigh heavily on him, and Byars is never condescending about this. Yet the book’s not Byars’s best, mostly because of the lack of generosity towards Cybil’s fat friend Harriet and, to a lesser extent, Tony. 

Sex and Violence by Carrie Mesrobian (2013): Seventeen-year-old Evan doesn’t do serious relationships, instead preferring to hook up with girls and ghost them when he starts having feels. (His family moves around a lot and he’s got some trauma.) Then one girl’s jealous ex orchestrates a horrific assault on them both, leading Evan’s distant widowed dad to take his traumatized son back to their Minnesota hometown. It turns out okay. I liked this novel a lot more once I accepted it as an intentionally messy coming-of-age novel, rather than an issue novel...but it was still a little too messy for its own good. I felt like I was supposed to condemn Evan for having casual sex, something that’s both morally neutral and natural enough for a teen who moves every year, yet the narrative all but endorses his contempt for lower-class girls. I was also uncomfortable with the revelation that Evan was a survivor of statutory rape. It seemed like he was being punished by the narrative only for hyper-sexuality that clearly stemmed from trauma--with a physical assault with some strong sexual implications, no less--but let off the hook for his thoughtless middle-class-boy prejudices. I did feel for him, though, and that carried me through most of the book.

October Wind by Susan Wiggs (1991): In late-fifteenth-century Spain,  Cristóbal Colón (aka Christopher Columbus) tries to convince Queen Isabella to fund a westward expedition. Meanwhile, nobleman Joseph Sarmiento learns an enormous secret about his background and must decide whether to alter the course of his life. During this time, Rafael Viscaino, a young scribe, strives to rise in the world while his friends, aspiring doctor Catalina and cheerful but troubled half-Roma Santiago, have their own struggles. This historical novel (which just barely qualifies as a romance) has a lot of potential, but it wastes too much time on Columbus and Isabella, plus it gives them more credit than they deserve. Wiggs should’ve focused on Joseph, the sexiest and most likable character, and made more of his eventual relationship with Anacaona, a Guanahani woman. Or else she should’ve just made it a poly romance with Rafael/Catalina/Santiago, which she comes this close to doing.

Love’s Willing Servant by Avis Worthington (1980): Left penniless by her father and betrayed by her childhood sweetheart, Lettice Clifford decides to take herself to her sister’s home in colonial Virginia and get a rich husband. She’s surprised to find herself sharing a ship with Geoffrey Finch, a neighbor who has been betrayed by his evil twin and sold into indentured servitude. When his indenture ends up getting bought by her brother-in-law, they grow closer, but multiple creepy people and Bacon’s Rebellion threaten their love. Maybe I’ve just seen too much, but I was pleasantly surprised by the relative inoffensiveness of this Old School romance. Geoffrey is a reasonable person, there’s not a sexual assault every other chapter, and the racism issues are more “the black characters should be more central” than “this is just a defense of slavery” or “calm down with the n-word, Quentin Tarantino.” These small mercies aside, I also enjoyed the absolutely bonkers plot and the use of historical details. I didn’t care much for Lettice, though, because she’s usually either boring or kind of a dick. 

*Nice.

[the-trans-diaries]

31.12.2020.

I’ll be spending New Years by myself, and I’m not even sad about that fact.

Two days ago I (unexpectedly) went out with two friends, and it was the first time they’ve seen me without the hijab and I just...teared up a little because they didn’t really care about it. They said they’ll support me in any decision I make unless it’s drugs lmao and it meant the world to me to hear that.

I’m kinda sad I didn’t spend more of my time with them throughout uni. I think I would’ve made some solid friends. But if nothing else, I hope we’ll stay friends post-graduation too.

I’m thinking about outing myself to them as bi. I know there’s one guy in that group who’s said some homophobic shit in the past, so I think I’ll keep it a secret from him just in case (he’s a good friend to me and I doubt he’s a hateful person, he’s just a huge Dudebro Chad™, but I’m not sure where he stands on LGBT anything tbh), but the rest of the group is....pretty fucking fantastic actually. It means a lot to me that I have people to talk to about this.

I’m not telling anyone that I’m trans yet tho. I keep struggling with my identity, and I think it’s best to wait for the opinion of a professional before I tell them anything. Rationally, I know they won’t laugh at me or make fun of me even if I say I’m trans and then happen to realize I’m not, but I have a deeply set fear of rejection and I just, can’t make myself do it. Not yet anyway.

I’m waiting for my parents to refund me (I had to spend my own money on groceries and other stuff, cause they had other costs they had to cover, so they couldn’t give me any) and then it’s

Therapy

Dermatologist

Potentially meds

Gynecologist

Blood test

and facial treatment time. Whoop

Basically, I plan on spending all of my money on getting my entire body checked out because I seriously think there’s something wrong with me. I’m pretty sure I’m anemic again, and I think I have either type 2 diabetes or pcos or BOTH which sucks ass because if I have to take E, I might go ahead and throw myself off a cliff.

I was also thinking about seeing a doctor to see why my joints are so bad. I like to think I’m pretty strong for someone who’s only 158cm tall, but I can’t do arm workouts for long, or I’ll get cramps in my hands. Also, if I do pushups for long, may god help me because I’ll have to stretch the fuck out of my joints afterwards. Same thing happens with my hips - they get stuck sometimes and I have to warm them up before...walking. Maybe I’ll leave that particular cost for another month tho, the bills might be a tiny bit too much for me.

Another update I have is that my braces are finally OFF and I got my sparklyass retainer yesterday!

I literally cannot stop smiling now that my braces are off. It’s been a long 5 years of me wearing them.

I think this is enough updates for today. I might add on to this later, depending on how I feel.

[tobiasbotte]

Best Moments of Descendants 2

Jay’s manbun, boy, fuckin’ werk! I could stare at your pretty face all day

Carlos’s new look. Son. Yes.

Lonnie being team captain 

all of Carlos’s comedic timing 

Dizzyyyyyyyy bless youuuuuu

Space Between GAYYYYYYY

Harry has no chilllllll (probably dated Uma, probably would date ben, kissed a boy during the dance, probably bi, definitely crazy)

Oooooh, Gill, precious child

Ben and Evie’s friendship strong

Evie and Mal’s “friendship” (gay gay gay gay)

but also Evie/Doug was super cute

Carlos/Jane made me smile so hard

Fuckin’ Chad using their printer and leaving the keys every time god yes

UMA GIRL YES

Just, like, the hints into the Isle kids’ backstories (Carlos and his mom, Evie’s fear of being stuck on the Isle)

Carlos sitting everyone down for “girl talk”

Evie cashing in on her favor immediately and saying bring the isle children over yes queen

“subtle” jaylos and malvie

ben and uma boat talk (kinda made me ship it a bit. ship. it. ha.)

jay’s epic stunts/flips/fights/everything

Mal’s momma still a lizard (but what happened to her after Mal returned to the Isle? where did the lizard go???)

evie running her own fashion empire right in her own dorm room with doug by her side (doug knowing she doesn’t need him, but glad that she loves him). please make dizzy your business partner.

Chillin’ Like A Villain. yup.

every single shipping possibility. because. there was just so much, so many, i’d honestly be happy with just about any ship.

just, the core four being there for each other no matter what. so pure.

Yeah, the movie was okay, I guess.

[azariaspace]

Azaria’s Life Update

(Feel free to read - in fact, please do if you’d life.  It’s just under a read more because it’s long.)

I’m okay with the breakup.  In fact, I’m glad it happened (that’s kind of why it did - we both felt it was a good thing for the relationship to end).  But that’s not an invitation for my mom, God bless her, to keep making jokes about me dating my friends.  It hasn’t even been a week yet.  She was doing it five minutes after I told her about it, the morning after.  Yeah, I know a BOY from Dig (the three-week summer thing I went to) invited me to his house for Easter.  But that’s no different from a GIRL (or a nonbinary person, but Mom doesn’t even accept that I exist, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ) inviting me, so chill.  Just let me have friends and grieve what I naively thought was better than it was.

Speaking of Dig, I miss it so much.  So very much.  Part of it is missing Calvin, but I don’t know why I miss those people so much.  There was something irrationally important about them.

As a tangent of Dig, we have to talk about music, and how I’m a true 9 on the enneagram.  I’m a chameleon - I pick up traits from others.  (It’s a reason I think I might have bpd, alog with about 7,000 other things.)  But, have a slice-of-life thing:  we were listening to music on the way home (to Calvin) from Toronto.  They asked if I wanted to play some songs, and even though I wound up playing two songs over the course of the drive, I said that I didn’t really want to, because I could always listen to my music at home, but listening to other people’s music helps me get to know them better.  That’s true.  But now I’ve made a playlist of all the songs I remember from Dig (excluding any music I ever played, a whopping seven songs over three weeks), and it’s all I’ve been listening to for the past two.

On a different track, I go back to the ENT to figure out what the fuck is in my throat.  Or at least to see if it’s grown or not, and explain that it’s been hurting, and say that I took the antibiotics (which were optional?).  Then we theorize what the fuck it is.

Michigan turned me into a night-showerer, but I have to keep doing the Inhaler of Almost Death in the morning, because The Lump has made my gag reflex worse (in addition to hurting all the time), so now it seems that every time I brush my teeth I throw up.  Yes, this means I’m only brushing my teeth once a day, but I kind of want to keep them long-term, and this seems like the best approach.  And I have to do it when I use the inhaler, and a) because I don’t want to become accidentally bulimic (like, train myself to throw up after meals by associating having food in my stomach/night-showering with throwing up when I most definitely like food, like eating, and like having food stay in my stomach and digest and not appear in my sink while I’m trying to brush my teeth) and b) because I want to have decent-smelling breath when I socialize, we’re doing it in the mornings.

How do I get my roommate and suitemates to be chill about me coughing and throwing up every morning?

How do I get my roommate to be chill about my lack of a gender?

(That’s another thing I miss about Dig:  the leaders were the BEST about making an accepting space (we had a sign that said “Not-Male Washroom” and I regret to this day not taking it home (to my house, not Calvin), and there were four remarkable cis kids:  one who asked Trans 101 questions but was genuinely eager to learn and very ashamed of his ignorance (which was refreshing but also kinda frustrating), one who used to identify as part of the LGBT community (if I were her and was labeling myself, I’d call myself bi- or panromantic heterosexual, but she calls herself straight with a twist, and that’s her prerogative and totally fine) and who was excited for me to be the future of the church, and two who would always talk philosophy and were good friends with each other and friends with me apart from this and asked thought-provoking questions that I loved answering, like “When the church has treated you and your kind so badly, why haven’t you given up on it?”  We also tried to actually solve the question of what gender is, and failed, but it was a good time.  One of the kids was unaccepting, half of them didn’t know (I came out at our excursion site, so only half of us were there), and the rest didn’t really talk about it (except one, at my request, sent me a paper her friend wrote on how four Canadian denominations are responding to binary trans people, which was pretty cool).

They were also super great about me being disabled?  Like, not a ton of people knew (They didn’t distribute the medical forms’ contents to all the leaders.), and the more I told them, the more impressed they became.  This one kid (one of the Trans 301-level kids) kind of started viewing me as inspiration porn, and I wish I’d explained to him why that view harms disabled people, but it also seemed to help him and he didn’t do anything Problematic(TM), so it’s whatever.  Mostly, they offered accommodations and got frustrated when I didn’t accept 90% of them, but let me live my life and also understood when I imposed my own limits.

Basically Dig, from a queer- and cripple-inclusivity standpoint, was a dream come true.  The content was fantastic, too.)

Also one final thought on Dig:  I was able to voice my fear about turning my queerness into an idol while also wanting it to be a part of God’s ministry through me, and they listened and did their best to offer feedback.  There was no “don’t talk about it” or “pray it away” here  And we did an activity (like five minutes in small group) where we talked about ideas we wanted to develop, and for days I’d been having the phrase “queer church” running through my head, so I threw it out there and they all were excited to see it come to fruition, whatever it looks like, not afraid of the gay agenda in the church.

When I go to college, I won’t be back in my house for at least 3 and 1/2 months.  I’m not packing for a trip.  I’m moving.  That’s crazy.  This is crazy.

What if another Junior Year I happens?  What am I going to do?

If I named my kidney Chad, I certainly can name a suspicious lump...  I’m going to call it John after Gang Signs John Calvin Rap Album Cover, or just Gang Signs John Calvin, or just John Calvin.  Probably officially the second, and informally the third.  This is all a Dig reference to a painting I did, by the way, which you can view on my Twitter here.

What if John Calvin is the c-word?  I’m not worried about dying, I’ve got eternity squared away (rather, God’s got eternity squared away and has indicated He has found favor with me, for reasons left entirely up to grace).  What if there’s treatment that they want me to stay local for?  What if I can’t go to college after all?

What if I go and Dad dies?

I think we all forgot how good the band Relient K is.

I’ve been reading a lot about minimalism while I’ve been trying to figure out how many tshirts and socks I need to take with me to college (since I’m moving and crap, and since winter - snow! - starts in October but the high was 81 Fahrenheit today), and it seems like I should give away a lot of my clothes?  But I don’t see my style changing much in the next, say, seven years (College and grad school, maybe a year of working at a church in between - maybe not.  Plans change.), so it might be more of an investment to keep all of my like 50 tshirts, box up like 30 of them, and have replacements for when I inevitably destroy some at college, and when the rest just wear out.  Then I can slowly build a more professional look.  But is this just me trying to excuse hoarding clothing and denying people who actually need stuff the ability to cover themselves, or is this a reasonable plan since I already signed myself into debt?

Oh yeah, I officially am in debt.  #thatstudentloanlife #itshittingme #alsoididthatconfirmationstufflatebutithinkistilgetthemoneybecauseitsdone

Technically my school shouldn’t have released my transcript until today because we just now came up with a payment plan, but nobody yelled at me for it and I got a tentative schedule, so I think the college admissions counselor we all hated finally broke the rules in a student’s favor and just... sent it away. (Bon voyage.  ISN’T IT NICE TO KNOW THAT THE LINING IS SILVER?  ISN’T IT NICE TO KNOW THAT WE’RE GOLDEN - THAT WE’RE GOLDEN?  yEAH!)

Lake Street Dive is another fantastic band, but I didn’t forget, I just didn’t know until Dig.

I knew about the Lumineers, but I’d never listened to them.

(Also I’m rereading this post and it looks like I’m calling John Calvin, the great Reformer and theologian, a genital-based slur.  I meant The Lump, and then I meant Cancer.)

On  that note, there’s nothing else you need to know about my life.

[offbrand-valk]

Maria Rokossoff knows

So, i know it’s been like, 12 yonks since i last posted any of my writing. I promise I have bigger more exciting projects in the work, but until then, here’s a continuation of a blackhill kidfic i wrote like a year ago called the Rokossoffs, this time it’s told from the perspective of Maria and Nat’s oldest daughter’s first girlfriend (also poster on AO3):

Jessica Kwan was sort of the queen Golden Ridge High.

Or at the very least the class of 2020.

She was captain of the cheerleading team, had good grades, and was dating the quarterback.

 Jess was also fascinated by another girl in her class.

Not in the lesbian sense or anything, Jess wasn't a homophobe, and she was sure she could still be friends with Yelena if she happened to like girls, Jess just knew that she herself wasn't a lesbian.

She just really admired Yelena, for her grace, and her attitude, and those muscular thighs Jess had once dreamt about being choked by.

Besides, when someone had hair that smooth, it was only natural to want to run your fingers through it right?

Jess and Yelena had basically never talked in the 2 years they'd had classes together.

To be fair, Yelena didn't really talk to anyone, except when teachers asked her a question. And her answers were always sort of weird, like she was answering to a general, and afraid they wouldn't like what she said.

Junior year had just begun, and the cheerleading squad was starving for some real talent.

Real talent that Jess knew, from 2 years of admiring during gym classes, that Yelena had.

Fuck, Yelena did ballet, Jess wished she was good enough to do ballet.

Basically, the team needed Yelena on it, no the school needed Yelena on the team!

It was Jess's duty to the school to befriend Yelena and make sure she got on the team.

They would have to spend a lot of long evenings and night practicing, which would be super fun, and Jess couldn't wait.

 First of all she needed to sit down during lunch next to Yelena, which was pretty scary...

Because Yelena was so cool of course, and maybe she didn't want to talk to Jess, or thought she was disgusting and annoying.

Turned out her very reasonable fears didn't matter, she hit it off instantly with Yelena.

She almost forgot to ask her to the trials.

 That Friday they went to the mall, just the 2 of them, Yelena and Jess.

They held hands the whole time, Jess was the one to reach out, but Yelena never let go, so it was both their fault.

Really it was Yelena's stupid hand's fault, they were so soft and warm, and they just fit so perfectly together with Jess's own.

When they had to split, Jessica's heart was beating, and she spent the evening feeling everything and nothing all at once.

 Half way through next week, and Yelena was sitting at the cheerleader table after having wowed everyone at the tryouts.

She still didn't talk much, Jess was starting to learn that didn't mean she was uncomfortable.

Yelena listened, and observed, and then once in a while she said something super clever.

  Getting to know Yelena was difficult beyond belief.

When Jess asked where she had been before GRH, she answered: "Different places, nowhere for long, most of them Russia".

That was the least vague answer she could get out of her about her life.

Yelena was like a baked Alaska warm on the outside, but ice cold in the middle.

She would scream and cheer about shows and clothes her friends liked, then when you asked her what she thought, she would freeze up, and avoid the question.

It took some getting used to.

 Jess parents didn't like Yelena, they thought she was too loud, and probably the reason Jess math grades were slipping.

Jess knew that was BS, 1) math was soooo boring, 2) Yelena had never gotten less than an A in anything, and 3) Mr. Peterson fucking hated her for being born Asian without a calculator in her brain.

Jess's house had been the place to meet for cheerleaders as long as Jess had been on the team, and Taylor was way noisier!

How could anyone even dislike Yelena? She was perfect from her clear blue eyes, to her adorable accent.

 Anyways, one day Yelena invited Jess to come see her house, and Jess spent the rest of the day screaming through a thick cloud of excitement and absolute, gut wrenching terror.

 On the outside, the Rokossoff house looked like any other, minus the huge Rottweiler lying in wait on the lawn.

As soon as Jess touched the gate, it got up and stormed towards the gate, ready to tear her arm out of its socket.

"Brat! Vnis!"  Yelena yelled authoritatively, before turning to Jess.

"I am sorry, Brat, he is very protective of me, of the family."

Brat ("No, Brat say it like you are the villain of a spy movie") followed them into the house, never more than 5 steps away from Yelena, but made no further attempts on Jess's life.

 The house was... sort of everything Jess had expected.

It was big, and homely, and safe, and somehow utterly normal.

If you disregarded the little black cat, that glared daggers at her, and which Brat was absolutely terrified of.

Her mom used to be a marine, and it showed, she had short brown hair, tan skin, and the arms of an action hero.

Jess did not know moms were allowed to wear tank tops, or disassemble a rifle in 15 seconds. No mom should ever be that hot, it was just too much.

Ava, her sister was the most adorable 12-year-old Jess had ever seen, especially since she was trying to act cool.

 Speaking of adorable, Yelena's other mom was a head and a half shorter than her wife, making them look amazingly cute standing next to each other.

Wait... Yelena's other mom?

Yelena had 2 mom, and they were together, as wives, in love and marriage.

They were gay ("actually we're both bi, but a rose by any other name right")! Could people be gay and still be happy and in love and live together?

Of course she knew all of those things were possible, she had just never thought about it.

Seeing it in real life touched something within Jess.

Because she was just so happy to see how far lgbtq rights had gotten you know.

 Seeing Yelena's home inspired Jess to a really nice daydream.

She imagined her and Yelena sharing a small apartment.

Just the 2 of them living together as spinsters, because they couldn't find any boys worthy of their time, except Brat who looked out for them.

The apartment wasn't big enough to fit 2 separate beds in, so they had to share a single big bed.

Which was actually a good thing, cause that way they could cuddle whenever they wanted to.

That wasn't weird! Girlfriends did that all the time!

Girl friends, not girlfriends of course! Because Jess was straight, and Yelena wasn't sure what she was.

  Chad had been whining about her not paying attention to him.

It was so annoying, like: "Yeah Chad I'm not paying attention to you all the time, because this is 2022, and I have a life outside of men, also didn't your name use to be Brad?"

Because he apparently really wanted Jess to break up with him, he decided to call Yelena a bunch of shit then take a swing at her.

Since Yelena was a perfect badass (with a perfect ass), she threw him into the lockers, and knocked 2 of his teeth out.

He was lucky she didn't also break his arm, had Jess been that cool, she would have!

 Yelena's moms were called, and Natasha showed up to put the fear of god into the principal for calling it anything but self-defense.

Then she took Yelena and Jess out for ice cream.

They talked at length about how Yelena felt about having to protect herself, Jess was there for emotional support.

She had never seen Yelena like that before, so much besides herself.

She held unto Jess's hand like a life saver through a storm.

 It was on the first night of the nationals that Jess started to question just how straight she really was.

Yelena had failed one of her jumps miserably and broken a leg, Jess had screamed and cried.

She spent the rest of the day feeling miserable, and worrying about Yelena. The moment they were done for the day, she rushed to the hospital, beating the rest of the squad there by 15 minutes.

Yelena was already fighting with the doctor about getting to go back to the squad the very next day, her tendency to completely ignore injuries always sort of scared Jess.

"I've wanted to ask for a long time, why do you call yourself Jess? Jessica is such a beautiful name, I wouldn't want to waste a letter." Was the first thing she said after Jess had said hello.

And just like that Jessica's entire life changed on a dime.

She didn't tell Yelena, just kept it on the inside.

 Actually Jessica didn't tell anyone for several weeks, just kept trucking, hoping she could stay friends with Yelena forever.

She tried looking at lesbian porn and was immediately traumatized.

The smart thing would be to talk to either Maria or Natasha about it.

Ever since they had told her to call them if she accidentally (or "accidentally") got drunk or took drugs at a party, so they could help her without telling her parents, they had become her "spare aunts".

Besides they were experienced queers, they could tell her what she was supposed to do next.

Instead she tried to watch lesbian porn again, and sort of managed to have a good time.

Honestly she got way more out of watching Samira Wiley movies.

 On the first day of summer vacation, Yelena went on a camping trip with Natasha. She wouldn't say where, or when she would be back, only that there was a slight chance she might die.

Jessica wasn't sure whether she was being serious, or just secretive because she knew it annoyed her, either way the summer felt way longer without her.

In that time she came by Yelena's house a lot, Maria was more or less always working, and Jessica was more than happy to "babysit" Ava. Not that she really needed babysitting, the 12-year-old was honestly better at being an adult than Jessica.

 Eventually she pulled herself together enough to have the talk with Maria.

It came as much as a shock to Maria as the sun rising in the morning.

Maria was so smart about that sort of stuff, she knew exactly how Jessica felt, all the shame, and fear of disappointing the family.

And she also knew just what to say, she kept telling Jessica to take her time, and never feel like she had to tell anyone, and that even though she had never kissed a girl her sexuality was still valid.

Maria also told Jess that if the worst came to pass, and her parents disowned her, then she of course had a place to sleep in the Rokossoff house for as long as she needed.

 Jessica was pretty sure it was a mistake to tell Maria about her crush on Yelena, but she did it anyways, just to get it off her chest.

Maria wouldn't tell her if Yelena felt the same, just that she needed to take it slow, because Yelena still had a lot of stuff to work through before she would be ready for a relationship.

 As a final recommendation, Maria told her about the wonders of erotica and the "for women" section of porn sites.

That knowledge resulted in Jessica spending way too much of her summer vacation cooped up in her room while her family and friends were outside living their lives.

  Yelena came back 2 weeks into senior years, her lip was busted, she had a butterfly closure on her eyebrow, and 7 stitches in her leg.

She was also perpetually overjoyed, and even though she kept telling Jessica she was waiting for the right time to tell her how she had spent her vacation, the pure enthusiasm was contagious.

 They picked up right where they left off before the summer. Yelena, Jessica and Brat against Golden Ridge High.

Jessica's parents started to accept that Yelena wasn't going anywhere, Yelena's parents taught Jessica how to use and maintain a handgun.

And Jessica only had 2 or 3 (definitely no more than 5) wet dreams starring Yelena.

One time they even all had a big dinner together, and Jessica's dad only said something accidentally homophobic to Natasha and Maria once!

 Jessica couldn't tell if they had become more touchy over the summer, or if she was just more aware of it now.

One thing was for certain, neither of them wanted to stop.

 It was on one of their, by that point weekly sleepovers that Yelena turned to Jessica.

"I have a big secret, but I'm not sure if I should tell you." She said and suddenly Jessica could barely hear from all the blood rushing through her ears.

"Please tell me 'Lena, you know I can keep a secret." Jessica was pretty sure that was the truth, she had kept her sexuality a secret to everyone (including herself) for almost 17 years after all.

"Yes, I just... fear you will hate me for this, or hate me for not saying sooner." Jessica suddenly needed to hug Yelena, and not just because she hoped it would calm her heartbeat down.

She really hoped she knew where Yelena was going.

 She didn't, boy had she not known where Yelena was going.

Natasha was the Black Widow, and Yelena was training to be her replacement.

It was a shock, like a huge shock, just also one of those shocks where, once you'd had a moment to digest it, it actually explained a lot.

 Yelena also tried to tell her about her time in the red room, but all they managed was a lot of crying and hugging from both of them.

Jessica didn't see Natasha come in, suddenly she was just there rubbing Yelena's back, and making cooing sounds, whilst a tray of hot chocolate had appeared on the night stand.

It took a lot of ugly tears, hugs, and choking, before Jessica got something that resembled the full story.

She kept telling Yelena it really wasn't necessary, and Yelena kept insisting it was.

 Afterwards they cheered up by watching disney channel movies in bed, and trying to cook popcorn on widowbites. Something Yelena insisted she didn't approve of, and yet did anyways.

They even let Brat into the bed, though he didn't get to stay for long before Liho chased him out to demand cuddles of her own.

 Jessica sensed that the night was winding down, and she still had a secret burning in the back of her throat.

If she didn't tell Yelena now, she would keep it inside forever, Jessica just knew!

"Yelena I... You told me a big secret, and it doesn't feel right that I keep this to myself after that."

Yelena shuffled over, and rested her chin on Jessica's shoulder. "Anything you want, I'm not going anywhere."

Jessica took a deep breath, their faces were so close, her heart was going a million miles an hour and her skin was burning. "I'm in love with you Yelena... Romantically... uhm, sexually... I want to kiss you!"

In the days that followed Yelena would tease her relentlessly about what she thought could be misunderstood by "I'm in love with you", but in that moment she just leaned forward ever so slightly, and placed a kiss on the Vietnamese girl's lips.

"I thought it was just me."

 They kissed again.

And again, and again, growing bolder each time.

Until Jessica's hand snuck its way under Yelena's night shirt.

"Is this okay?" She remembered to ask, her hand just shy of Yelena's breast.

"With you, always!"

 When Jessica woke up naked, and tangled together with an equally naked Yelena Belova Romanoff-Hill, her first thought was "I'm thirsty."

Not exactly a romantic first thought on the morning after losing her virginity, but it could be worse. Her thirst she could ignore to stay where she was.

At least in favor of a very different thirst, when she realized Yelena, her girlfriend, was playing with her hair and looking at her with adoring eyes.

"I could stay like this forever." Jessica said in what she hoped was a sultry voice.

"I have to pee." Yelena stated matter-of-fact-like, kissed Jessica's forehead, got out of bed, stopped, turned around and kissed Jessica deeply on the mouth, and rushed to the bathroom grabbing a hoodie and sweatpants on the way.

Jessica got slowly dressed, making sure to keep the door closed all the way.

When Yelena came back to put on underwear and a t-shirt, Jessica wasted no time in snatching her girlfriend's hoodie off the floor to wear as her own.

It smelled just like her.

 As they left Yelena's bedroom properly this time, they found 2 full water bottles waiting for them outside the door, they looked like they had been all night, but neither Yelena or Jessica remembered putting them there.

Maria was waiting for them in the kitchen with freshly made blueberry pancakes.

She gave them just enough time to settle down and start eating, before she dropped the bomb.

"So girls... I'm super happy that you found each other and everything, but the walls of this house: not as thick as you might think."

Jessica choked and Yelena let out an equal parts shocked and mortified "MOM!"

"Anyways, for entirely unrelated reasons, me and Nat have decided to take Ava on a trip to that engineering museum she's been wanting to see. I just have to briefly scar you for life with a briefing on safe sex between women, and then we'll be on our way, so you can get back to watching movies in your room." Maria even did the finger quotes thing.

[spearcast]

4-7 for whichever oc you want to talk about

since there are only 4 questions, i’ll do a few ocs! i pick: miles, channing, saint, and picket! and it’s under a read more

4: Does anyone have a crush on your character? Is your character aware of this?

miles: before they were a thing i know for sure miles had a crush on ria and i’d clearly ASSUME ria had a bit of a crush on miles, or eventually did, bc y’know. they’re a Thing. before that a lot of people at miles’ high school had crushes on her but she was Oblivious.

channing: probably! he’s a really sweet kid even tho he’s obnoxious as all get out sometimes. also he’s... very pretty. he was before he was a vampire, and has just gotten prettier. however, channo my boy is oblivious as fuck when it comes to romance.

saint: bhavika and alain both have crushes on miz shelby saint. bell, who they meet later on, has more of a mentorly crush on her- as in she wants saint to teach her everything saint knows and wants saint to take her under wing. saint absolutely knows about bhav and alain.

picket: he’s 14 so none of my current star wars ocs would be crushing on him since he’s,,,, literally a baby. but he’s quirky and wants people to like him, so i’m sure some Youth he knows from his home planet would like him. he’d be oblivious and rididculously blushy if he found out.

5: Describe your character's dream date.

miles is a huge nerd therefore she loves museums of any kind. art museum? hell yeah. natural science museum? HELL YEAH. bigfoot museum? HELL YEAH FUCKIN RIGHT-

channing’s favorite sport is hockey, so hockey games are always great. he’s also essentially a beautiful, gay, vampire frat boy and will totally destroy a keg if taken to a party. BUT since he’s also pretty lovey he’s also chill with whatever his chosen date would wanna do. he’s not picky.

saint has very little concept of dating and honestly she lives in a post apocalyptic world full of danger and fear and anger so she’d really just like down time. holding hands and sleeping and cuddling and shit. she’s here for that Koala-Tea Time with Babe.

picket isn’t super interested in romance or dating at this point in his life, especially since the first order has him on a priority list and he’s focusing on keeping him and his mum alive. however, as he gets older and starts liking people more and such, he really likes star gazing. or just walking around places. seeing as he grew up with little cash he’s not one to spend money and feels bad if others spend money on him, so he prefers low budget/no cost things.

6: What is your character's sexual orientation?

miles is pan, channing is gay, saint is demi/ace, and picket doesn’t know yet! (he gets older and settles on bi tho, around age 17/18)

7: How does your character feel about their name?

miles really likes her name! probably because her dad picked it out. evelyn (miles’ mum) wanted to name her oralee (which is her middle name) but her pa won out seeing as he didn’t get to name any of the other kids. miles appreciates how well it suits her- not overwhelmingly stereotypically feminine but still a really good, short name.

channing sometimes feels weird about it but he’s like.. at least my name isn’t chad, or brett, or chet or something lmao. he likes when his sibs/parents call him chan or ani.

saint’s real name isn’t saint- it’s not shelby either. that’s a wastelander’s name. her official name is augusta martin. when she learns this she really appreciates her wastelander’s name and keeps it over her birth name. prior to that she has no strong feelings.

picket adores his name. it’s weird! he’s weird. besides, there could be worse names (like greedo or jabba or khlorfax or something)

[oselatra]

Five days to celebrate Central, LR Nine

A guide to the coming events.

Events marking the 60th anniversary of the desegregation of Central High School by nine African-American schoolchildren started weeks ago, but here's what's happening in the five-day run-up to the commemoration ceremony on Sept. 25 and in days following.

THURSDAY 9/21

'Education by Design: The History and Design of Little Rock Central High School and Dunbar Jr./Sr. High School.' 6 p.m. Dunbar Magnet Middle School, 1100 Wright Ave., preceded by 5 p.m. reception at Pyramid Art, Books and Custom Framing, 1001 Wright Ave., and 5:50 p.m. unveiling of works by Dunbar and Central High School students in the Dunbar Sculpture Garden behind the school building. Free.

The architecture of the Central High School (opened in 1927) and Dunbar (1929) — both the work of Little Rock's Wittenberg and Deloney firm — and how the design was meant to meet educational goals will be the subject of this talk by Little Rock architect Kwendeche and architectural historian Mason Toms, design coordinator for Main Street Arkansas. The event is part of the June Freeman Lecture Series of the Architecture + Design Network and the University of Central Arkansas's "Imagine if Buildings Could Talk: Mapping the History of Little Rock Central High School" project. (See Sept. 23 and 24 events.)

FRIDAY 9/22

Performance by the CORE Dance Company. Noon-1 p.m. Arkansas Arts Center Atrium. Free.

CORE, the Atlanta-based dance company whose "Life Interrupted" work was about the internment of Japanese Americans in Arkansas camps during World War II, returns to Arkansas for more site-specific choreographed performances. At the Arts Center, the company will perform in conjunction with the exhibit "Will Counts: The Central High School Photographs," a collection of the famous shots photographic journalist in 1957, including his world-famous picture of Elizabeth Eckford being heckled by white students. The company, company will perform again at 6 p.m. Sunday, Sept. 24, at Central's Commemorative Garden.

'William Grant Still's Neglected Masterpiece "Troubled Island." ' 7 p.m. Mosaic Templars Cultural Center. Free.

Opera in the Rock will perform William Grant Still's "Troubled Island," an opera in three acts about the Haitian revolution, with libretto by Langston Hughes and Verna Arvey. Still completed the opera in 1939; its world premiere was March 31, 1949. It ran only three nights; Still was told by a friend that the critics voted to pan the opera because "the colored boy has gone far enough." The composer, who was raised in Little Rock, was the first African-American to conduct a major U.S. orchestra (the Los Angeles Philharmonic). Another first: "Troubled Island" was the first grand opera by an African-American composer to be produced by a major American company, the New York City Opera. Vocalists performing this concert version of Still's opera are Ronald Jensen-McDaniel, Nisheedah Golden, Kenneth Gaddie, Satia Spencer, Candice Harris, Christopher Straw and LaSheena Gordon, with accompaniment by Janine Tiner. Earlier in the day, Arlene Biebesheimer, Opera in the Rock's Artistic Director, will talk about Still's work as part of a noontime "Lunch and Learn" session, also at Mosaic Templars, featuring a selection of recordings of Still's compositions.

Dedication of 'United' Sculpture 1:30 p.m., front lawn of Central High School. Free.

The 2016 Sculpture at the River Market Public Monument Competition donated this sculpture to Central High to mark the 60th anniversary of its desegregation. The work, "United," by Colorado Springs sculptor Clay Enoch, features two figures facing one another and holding incomplete rings. The unjoined rings indicate that there is still progress to be made in race relations, the artist says.

'Civil Twilight: Reflections on Fear, Courage and Resilience,' open rehearsal. 5-7 p.m. Little Rock Central High School National Historic Site Commemorative Garden, 2120 Daisy L. Bates Drive. Free.

The CORE Performance Company has created a dance/spoken word event, in collaboration with local poets Leron McAdoo and Marcus Montgomery and the Central High Wrighteous Poetry Club to commemorate the desegregation of Central. This is an open rehearsal; the main performance will be at 6 p.m. Sept. 24, as part of the ACANSA Arts Festival.

Central High Tigers Football Game 7 p.m. Quigley Stadium.

The Tigers take on North Little Rock Wildcats.

SATURDAY 9/23

March for Education 8 a.m. from the "Testament" sculpture of the Little Rock Nine on the grounds of the state Capitol to Central High.

The march, sponsored by HAD2 motivational company, is designed to highlight the connection between the Capitol and the school.

Paul Laurence Dunbar Community Festival, "The Power of Us through Community, History, and Art." 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Dunbar Magnet School, 1100 Wright Ave. Free.

This third annual festival, sponsored by the Dunbar Historic Neighborhood Association, features a health fair, children's activities, Zumba with Miss Lady Magazine, 3 on 3 basketball tournament, Dunbar history exhibit, Dunbar garden tours, Horace Mann alumni oral histories, a poetry slam, an "Old Town Motown Social," food and more.

'Reflections of Progress' symposium 9 a.m.-11:30 a.m. Clinton Presidential Center Great Hall. Free.

Circuit Judge Wiley A. Branton Jr., son of the civil rights leader who led desegregation efforts in the 1940s and beyond in Arkansas, is the opening speaker in this symposium in which panels will discuss the events leading up to the 1957 crisis, the "Lost Years" of 1957-1959, and 1959 to present.

'Imagine the Inclusive School of the Future Art Contest' 9:30 a.m.-9:30 p.m. Central High Visitor Center. Free.

Juried exhibit of work by students in grades 6-12 at Bryant High School, Conway High School, Episcopal Collegiate School, Lake Hamilton High School, Lisa Academy, Central High, Pulaski Heights Middle School, Southside High School (Fort Smith) and St. Joseph Catholic School (Paris), sponsored by the University of Central Arkansas's College of Fine Arts and Communication.

'A Day of Remembrance: The 60th Commemoration of the Desegregation Crisis at Little Rock Central High School.' 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Hampton Building, 1102 Daisy L. Gatson Bates Drive.

Bi-annual youth summit sponsored by the John Cain Foundation and the New Africa Alliance with presentations by poet Chris James and others.

Moncrief Institute for College and Career Readiness Forum Noon-2 p.m. Mosaic Templars Cultural Center.

Former Razorback basketball star Sidney Moncrief's nonprofit Moncrief Game Changer will lead Q&A and small group discussions on banking, education, insurance, entrepreneurship and other topics with high school and college students. Lunch will be served. Registration required; email moncrief04@gmail.com.

Central High School Architectural History Bus Tours Noon-5:30 p.m. Central High Visitor Center. Tickets free; reserve by calling 450-3451.

See and hear about important sites and their architectural styles in the Central High neighborhood, from the homes of Ernest Green and Daisy and L.C. Bates to the historic Magnolia/Mobil service station across from Central High and more. Buses leave at on the hour from noon to 4 p.m. for the 90-minute tours, developed by historians Dr. Kimberly Little of UCA and Mark Christ and Kylee Cole of the Arkansas Historic Preservation Program. Repeated at same hours Sunday, Sept. 24.

High school and college student ensemble performances Noon-6 p.m. Magnolia/Mobil service station. Free.

High school and college student singers will fill the outdoor stage at the restored gas station across from Central High, a project coordinated by UCA and the Oxford American Literary Protect. Hear the UCA Dixieland Band at noon; the Mann Middle School Band, 1 p.m.; the Dunbar Middle School Band, 2 p.m.; the North Little Rock High School Band, 3 p.m.; the Parkview Jazz Band, 4 p.m.; and the Central High School Band, 5 p.m.

'Imagine the Inclusive School of the Future' award ceremony 4-5 p.m. Central High Visitor Center. Free.

While the students sing at the Magnolia/Mobil station outside, winning artworks in the exhibition, sponsored by UCA, will be announced. Show continues through 9 p.m. Sunday, Sept. 24.

Oxford American Jazz Series: 'No Tears Suite' 6 p.m. Magnolia/Mobil Station Station. Free.

This 30-minute jazz ensemble "pop-up" concert features pianist Little Rock Chris Parker's composition, inspired by Melba Pattillo Beals' memoir "Warriors Don't Cry" about her experience as one of the Little Rock Nine. Local jazz artists joining Parker for the performance are: bassist Bill Huntington, drummer Brian Blade, tenor saxophonist Bobby LaVell, trumpeter Marc Franklin, alto saxophonist Chad Fowler and vocalists Kelley Hurt and I/J. Routen. Following the suite's premiere, the ensemble will take on works by Pharoah Sanders, Charles Mingus, John Stubblefield and Sam Rivers.

'Imagine if Buildings Could Talk' video projection and music 7:30 p.m.-9:30 p.m. Central High School façade.

Imagine, if you can, a video projected on the school's facade that uses special effects to transform the entrance with vivid color, animates the statues over the front entrance (representing ambition, personality, opportunity and preparation), and projects historic photographs from 1957 along with visions of the future. Better, go see Scott Meadors' 9-minute 3D mapped video, which will be projected in loops over the evening, with music composed by percussionist Blake Tyson. Both are professors at UCA. (Teaser at renderwalk.wordpress.com.) Repeated at the same times on Sunday, Sept. 24.

'Mavis Staples Live.' 7-9 p.m. Robinson Center. $45-$65, available through Ticketmaster.

Mavis Staples has been singing about civil rights, Jesus and what it means to an African-American in the South since she was a child in Mississippi. She went on to fame as part of the Staple Singers with her father, Pops Staples, and siblings, and because of that fame, her website tells us, they weren't lynched when they were falsely accused of a robbery at a West Memphis gas station — the police chief recognized them. Stax-era recordings "I'll Take You There" and "Respect Yourself" and her moving "Down in Mississippi" bring down any house; she's an artist you've got to see and if her rousing concert at Christ Church Episcopal in 2013 was any indication, she's still got it in spades. Before Mavis comes on, a community choir will set the joyful mood. The event is a fundraiser for the Little Rock Nine Foundation, a mentorship program for young people.

SUNDAY 9/24

ACANSA gospel brunch 11 a.m. Wildwood Park for the Arts, 20919 Denny Road. $45.

The 100-voice-strong, award-winning St. Mark Baptist Church Sanctuary Choir will perform; ticket price includes brunch. (See the ACANSA schedule for more information.)

'Children of the Little Rock Nine,' a panel discussion 3 p.m.-5 p.m., Ron Robinson Theater, 100 River Market Ave.

Children of the Nine will take the spotlight as they talk about their parents' role in the 1957 crisis impacted their lives. The event is co-sponsored by the Clinton School for Public Service and the Butler Center for Arkansas Studies.

Interfaith service 5 p.m.-7 p.m. Robinson Center.

Rev. Raphael G. Warnock, senior pastor of the historic Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta, where Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was baptized and ordained, and other faith leaders will lead a service featuring readings from the Bible, the Mishnah Sanhedrin and the Quran. A community choir led by Darius Nelson of St. Mark Baptist Church and Kyle Linson of First United Methodist Church will sing.

'Civil Twilight: Reflections on Fear, Courage and Resilience.' 6 p.m.-7:15 p.m. Commemorative Garden, 2120 W. Daisy Gatson Bates Drive.

Dr. Henry Louis Gates Jr. and "Little Rock Nine" opera composer Tania Leon will make remarks at dance/spoken word event with CORE Performance Company (see Sept. 22 entry.)

Complexions Contemporary Ballet 8 p.m., UA Little Rock Center for Performing Arts. $35 ($15 student, military).

Founded in 1994 by two former members of the Alvin Ailey, Complexions is a diverse, experimental company that has performed worldwide. (See the ACANSA Arts Festival schedule for more information.)

MONDAY 9/25

Commemoration ceremony 10 a.m.-11:30 p.m. Central High School's Roosevelt Thompson Auditorium. Registration required; go to the ceremony link at centralhigh60th.org.

President Bill Clinton will be the keynote speaker and the eight living members of the Little Rock Nine have been asked to share their thoughts at this event, held 60 years to the day that the Nine entered Central High School. The auditorium is at capacity, but will be broadcast on monitors in the school's Matthews Gymnasium. Other participants will include Harvard professor and historian Dr. Henry Louis Gates Jr., who will give a lecture later in the evening; Governor Hutchinson; Cameron Sholley of the National Park Service; Mayor Mark Stodola; City Manager Bruce Moore; Central High Principal Nancy Rousseau and the student body presidents of LRSD high schools. The Philander Smith College Choir will perform. Parking will be at the Arkansas State Fairgrounds, and a shuttle will be provided.

'Mind Blazin' forum Noon-1:30 p.m. Mosaic Templars Cultural Center. Free, reserve at mosaictemplarscenter.com.

Luncheon and forum on educational and social disparities in Little Rock facilitated by poet and public school advocate LeRon McAdoo and his wife, Central High communications instructor Stacy McAdoo.

'Teach Us All' 6 p.m. Riverdale 10 VIP Theater.

The Netflix documentary "Teach Us All," its premiere timed to coincide with the 60th anniversary of Central's desegregation, examines educational inequality in Little Rock and America then and now using the crisis at Central High as a framework. The film addresses the LRSD's takeover and asks, "60 years later, how far have we come — or not come — and where do we go from here?" The film was directed by Sonia Lowman, produced by the Lowell Milken Center for Unsung Heroes and distributed by ARRAY, the film collective that heightens awareness of people of color and women directors.

TUESDAY 9/26

'Sounds in the Stacks' 6:30 p.m. Fletcher Library, 823 N. Buchanan St. Free.

Piano and sax duo Robert "Frisbee" Coleman and son Franko Nilsson Coleman will perform as a part of the Central Arkansas Library System's Arkansas Sounds project.

WEDNESDAY 9/27

'A Conversation on Education in Arkansas with Commissioner Johnny Key and Dean Skip Rutherford.' Noon. Sturgis Hall, Clinton School for Public Service. Free

Rutherford, dean of the Clinton School, will interview state Department of Education Commissioner Key. Question No. 1: How can the state justify the takeover of a school district with 50 schools because six were out of compliance? No. 2. When with the state return the Little Rock School District to Little Rock? No. 3. Why does he limit conversation with the public to forums like this one? Et cetera.

Jazz in the Park: Rodney Block 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. History Pavilion, Riverfront Park.

Free jazz concert by trumpeter Rodney Block, the final park concert of the season.

Big Brothers/Big Sisters Toast and Roast of Darrin Williams Sr. 5:30 p.m.-9:30 p.m. Metroplex Event Center. $200-$3,000.

Former Central High School student body president and state Rep. Darrin Williams of Little Rock, the CEO of Southern Bancorp, will be honored. The annual fundraiser benefits the Big Brothers/Big Sisters' work with children in need.

Five days to celebrate Central, LR Nine