#chan friends to lovers

[pettypuppy-jonghyun]

Confession | Bang Chan

Summary: you accidentally send a confession text to best friend!chan

Warnings: mentions of anxiety

Notes: idk why I'm so overwhelmed with the feeling of this scenario, but my GOD would I loved to be in his arms rn

@minnysproutgriffinteddy I really hope you enjoy this as much as I did making it!

Oh, you did it now.

Your hands grip your hair at the roots, panic seeping into your system. Your cellphone fell onto your lap when you quickly dropped it, the screen open and brightly showing your worst nightmare. Your heart was pulsating against your chest as anxiety pumped the blood faster.

The accidental confession text was staring back at you. Chan's message in response was that you "needed to talk" and he was heading over now. If you thought your heart couldn't sink any lower than it already had that evening, you were unfortunately quite wrong. The sound of your doorbell rang throughout your apartment, signalling your best friend's arrival. He was there to confront you on your text. Confront you about your feelings.

You only meant to joke about it like you always did. Only meant to tease Chan for complimenting your outfit a little too much. You knew it meant nothing for him to address your attire, as you both casually did so often enough. But your little joke somehow warranted an intrusive thought to confess. The entire reason he was now at your place at 2am was because your impulsiveness took over and before you could contemplate sending, your thumb already sent the message. Now, you were sitting awfully still in your bedroom, praying he went away.

He didn't. The doorbell rang a second time. You glanced down to your phone, noticing it flashing a new message from your best friend. Chris was now wondering if you were even home, and if calling would be better. You really had no choice but to answer him, knowing he would ring your phone fairly soon if you didn't respond. After all, you can't go from continuous texts to leaving him absolutely ghosted after you confessed.

At least, it wasn't right.

You tossed your phone back onto the bed as if it burned you. "Oh my god!" You whisper shout into the air, staring at your thrown phone like it was poisonous. "Oh my god!"

Barely finding the strength, you stood on your wobbly legs and ran to open your apartment door. The last thing you wanted was for Chan to panic and believe you were in danger of any sort, potentially bringing other people into your business out of worry. If you didn't answer soon, he would only assume the worst.

"What am I going to do?!" Your hands fly up to your mouth, teeth sinking into your nails as your bad habit resurfaces. The embarrassment had sunken so far at that point, you contemplated just faking your death anyway. It would potentially be much easier to deal with then having to face your best friend after confessing your long-term crush on him. Besides, who were you going to be able to consult with after this? When he was the one you sought all comfort from.

Finally finding it in you, your hands landed on the door handle. Tightening your grip around it, you pull it open to meet your best friend's worried face. You could see the relief fall on his expression when he saw that you were alright. His tousled hair, pajama shorts and black hoodie indicated he had rushed over from his dorms.

"Chris..." your voice drifts off, unsure how to address the situation. Your eyebrows were furrowed and lips curled back in hesitation.

What you weren't expecting was Chan to enter the apartment, hand briefly hitting the door and forcing it firmly shut. His free hand immediately raised up to your face, dipping past it and into the hair beneath your ear. The light pressure he added to the tips of his fingers guided you to tilt your head to the side, his face swooping down to meet your lips. The force to his movement pushed you back against the hallway wall, his left hand coming up to steady himself against it.

You felt the surprise wash over your senses as his lips engulfed your own, molding into you. You couldn't help raising your hands to his waists, only lightly gripping his hips in fear of acting too far. Still, the sweet kiss had you absolutely melting in his hold. Your eyes clenched shut tightly.

Chris pulled away after a moment to catch his breath. His forehead rests tenderly against yours, a smile gracing his pink lips as he meets your gaze. "I don't think you understand how much it means to me that you have felt the same."

Your heart beat could be heard so vividly. "Christopher Bang, you let me go through this embarrassment this entire time?"

He laughs lightly, breath fanning your cheeks. "Trust me, you were not alone. I felt like my soul left my body when I saw that text."

"I think I may have missed a few things here," you say. The way his eyes were staring into yours made it seem so obvious he was in love with you. You weren't sure if they had always looked like that, now wondering if you just never noticed. You wanted to look away from the intense emotion, but it kept you still like a magnet.

"I've wanted to confess to you for a very, very long time. I let many opportunities escape me and had recently settled for leaving us the way things were. I would have rather kept you close to me as a best friend than push you away by confessing. It wasn't important to me what you were, as long as it was with me."

Your lips form into a soft smile, hands coming up to wrap around his neck. "Oh, Chan. I never knew you could be such a romantic."

With that, you pulled his head down back to your lips, begging to feel it all over again. The one hand on the wall moved to your waist, sliding to reach the small of your back to push you closer. Your body pressed firmly into his as he made you feel things you never thought you'd be able to with him. With every connection of your lips, Chan whispers his feelings for you, filling up every one of your senses with his love.

[classicalchan]

liar

pairing: bangchan x f! reader

rating: sfw

tags: sharing a bed, just pure softness, cuddling, best friends to lovers, pining, confessions, tired chan

wc: i'm too lazy to count but idk it's probably 2k 😭(I'm definitely wrong)

your doorbell rings when it's close to midnight, its sound reverberating through every corner of your little apartment. your socked feet carry you from bed to the door on autopilot. you weren't sleeping, but you were nearly there.

you open up your front door and off-white light from the hallway spills shamelessly into your dark living space. Chan stands there, bag slung lazily across his shoulder, eyes droopy with sleep.

"they borrowed my place for a party i don't wanna be at," he declares. "I'm sleeping here."

he walks in without waiting for an answer, wrapping you in a quick, one-armed hug for a greeting on his way. his bag finds its place on your couch. he switches a couple of lamps on here and there and fixes a photo frame on his way to your bathroom with a towel and some clothes in hand.

you kind of like how it's so natural for him to be at your place. like he belongs here. like he could live here.

you wished he would.

you lay back in bed, shifting to a side, leaving the rest of the space for Chan. ever since you first cuddled up with him a few months ago, it became an unspoken rule between you to always sleep cuddled up when alone.

it was one of the best parts of your friendship with him. you could abandon every care in the world when he was around and just be. He was always there- gentle, warm, protective, kind. everything you wished for in a man.

everything you can't have.

it had been weeks since you had gone to bed without thinking of him. even in the face of extreme exhaustion and no contact, Chan never failed to slip into your thoughts. he needed to compensate you for all the nights you couldn't sleep just because he did something adorable during the day and you wouldn't stop thinking about it.

he needed to apologize for every time you accidentally called one of your friends by his name, just because he wouldn't leave your head.

and he needed to desperately make up for nights like these. nights when he would touch you and let you touch him, but never enough. there was always a weighted, invisible boundary you hated with all your guts. a burning line you couldn't cross.

so, over the days, you had learned to make peace with what you got, no matter how little. you had learned to make the most of his arms around you, the firmness of his torso pressed to your back, the warmth of his breathing behind your ear, his occasional sleepy rambling.

sometimes he said your name.

before you knew it, the mattress dips beside you, the familiar scent of Chan's shampoo filling up your senses. you came alive a little.

his arm slips across your middle, pulling you as close as humanly possible into the abyss that was his warmth. you could spend an eternity here without a syllable of protest falling from your lips.

“i don’t have a shirt on, is that okay?” he mumbles into your hair.

more than okay, you wanted to say but for the sake of the friendship you had spent years building, you resorted to a small hum. he usually slept barely clothed, but when with you, he always asked. he made sure never to cross any lines. he was cautious, reserved. too far.

“is everything okay?” you ask. “you usually do not turn down a chance to party.”

you feel him move behind you, long fingers fiddling with the thin fabric of your t-shirt. he yawns like a puppy.

“i’d had a busy day,” he begins. “i needed some sleep and you know how bad i am at getting to sleep alone...”

his knuckle accidentally brushes your navel. you shiver.

“…besides you weren’t there. i’ve missed having you around y/n, now that i see it.”

your skin flushes hot, lips involuntarily swelling into a smile. you turn your face into your pillow, determined to bury your happiness into the fluff.

“i’ve missed you too,” you confess.

his blunt nails graze against your flesh again, and you wonder how much of it was accidental anymore. could Chan tell? did he know how down bad you were for him?

“liar,” he whispers, squeezing your body lightly into his own.

he liked to do that, you had noticed. almost as if finding a way to inch closer, as if making up for the fact that there would always be some molecular distance between you no matter what.

or maybe you were just reading too much into it.

you place a hand over his own, fingertips drawing subtle lines into his pale skin, tracing the veins you stared at shamelessly in broad daylight.

“you really think i’d lie to you?”

“you wouldn’t?” he asks.

you turned around, facing him. your hand settles on his bare chest. you could feel his heart beat beneath your touch.

“no,” you confirm. “never.”

he smiles, his hair getting into his eyes as he puts his forehead against yours.

“okayyy,” he giggles. “tell me something then, since you claim to not lie.”

your heart picks up pace, hammering beneath your chest, and you were half afraid Chan might hear it. you swallow thickly, a small lump forming in your throat.

“yeah?”

his gaze wraps over you like a veil, clouding everything else just enough that he is all you can see.

"do you like me?" he whispers.

the question drops in your heart and sinks into your gut. you've been caught, red-handed. but you were so careful, so vigilant, looking but never for too long, complimenting him but being careful not to flirt, telling him you love him when he needed to hear it but taking care to conceal the love you felt.

you want to play it cool. you're scared of how it's going to go.

"duh," you say. "of course i like you, why else would we be friends?"

he clicks his tongue, a soft laugh escaping his lips. he drops a light kiss on your forehead and you sigh.

"you're not that naive," he states. "come on, I'll wait for you."

you feel your cheeks heat up. it gets harder by the second to stay still, not with chan's fingers rubbing warmth into your back, his face so close you could steal a kiss. he was no fool. he never had been. who did you think you were hiding from?

"i..." you begin, your mouth drying up. "yeah."

you feel his marble fingers slip under your chin. pressure, soft but commanding, forced you to look at him.

"you what, sweetheart?"

the endearment sent you spiraling. you squeeze his muscled shoulder, fingers digging into flesh.

"don't be an ass," you say. "i'm not gonna say it."

he chuckles. you watch his gaze move across your face, settle on your lips, and then back to your eyes again. you didn't want to think ahead of yourself.

you didn't want to break your heart.

he leaned in, his arm circling around your waist, his mouth leaving a soft kiss to your temple. you could die like this and it wouldn't be so bad.

"please," he whispers. "you said you'd be honest."

and who were you to turn down chan with his gentle voice and sturdy hands and body warmth and huge heart and ---? you could go on forever.

you grind your teeth together unconsciously, draw in a deep breath, and sigh. he knows you're giving in.

"i do like you," you admit finally. "so much more than a friend."

his palm slides up your back and finds your hair, long fingers gripping them and pulling you in. he smiles when he kisses you- mouth tasting of cinnamon and longing and want.

"fucking finally," he breathes. "you've got no idea how long i've waited for this."

you melt into a caramel puddle in his hands. you lean in again, pressing your lips onto his like he'd disappear, like this is all you've got.

taglist: @tinysoftie

NAVIGATION

join the taglist <3

[milkteabinniechan]

please don't go

Bang Chan x !female reader. Friends to lovers fluff and smut. Chan is your best friend from childhood.

This is for the anon that sent me this wonderful suggestion!! My asks got all fucked up and then I lost your original ask I'm sorry :( I hope you like it!! <3

He was everything. And now he was on top of you. He knew everything about you. And now he was inside of you.

"God you're beautiful." Chan huffed out. His dark hair sticking to his forehead. His arms shiny from the sweat you were both creating. He was the beautiful one. You couldn't stop staring at his face. His brows furrowed together in concentration. His eyes locked into where he was sliding inside of you. Entering you at the most sinful pace. He had one hand wrapped around your thigh, propping you up around his hips, his other hand resting on your stomach so he could feel himself slamming inside of you. You watched him close him eyes as if he was trying to picturing your insides.

He was so intimate. So sensitive. You loved how he took his time with everything he did. You have known his since you both were kids. He went from teasing you about your newest haircut, to grabbing a handful of that hair in is perfect hands. You were leaving for University soon. Something neither of you ever wanted to talk about. He was staying here in your hometown to help with his dad's store. He knew you had to leave, to get away and start something new for yourself. He understood that better than anyone. But the thought of you leaving, driving away with a backseat full of suitcases and memories, was too much for him to take. He knew it would break him. So you didn't talk about it. Until tonight.

The night started like any other. Chan came over with plenty of junk food for your weekly movie night. It was your turn to pick the movie and he would bring the snacks, which usually means lots of sweets and sugar. You even came to calling him sweet tooth now. He disliked the name at first, rolling his eyes every time you spoke it. But he smiled at it now. You knew he liked that he had a name, that you gave him a name that was just for the two of you.

You both claimed your regular spots on the couch, a fair distance from each other but close enough that your hands would accidentally brush if you reached for something. You started the movie "Gremlins" and opened a bag of sour patch kids. Chan reached over to your lap to grab a few for himself. The sudden sensation of his hand inside the bag between your legs sent shivers through your entire body. You were going to miss him so much when you left. And all you could think about was savoring every moment with him while you could. But Chan wasn't talking, he wasn't laughing at the movie, he just sat in silence.

"You okay?" You mumbled with a mouth full of sour candy.

Chan's eyes stayed glued to the TV screen as he answered, "Yeah. Fine."

You rolled your eyes and let out a loud, obnoxious sigh. He should know by now that you know him. You know him inside and out. So you pause the movie and turn your body toward his.

"Let's not do this," you start, "Tell me what's bothering you."

Chan stands up from the couch and heads toward the kitchen. "Does it matter? You're leaving soon anyway."

You follow close behind him and grab is arm to turn him around. "No! Don't do that! You know why I'm leaving. You know it kills me to leave you."

"Obviously not enough, because you're leaving. Sure we'll call and text at first, but then you'll meet someone, some great guy, and I'll just be the loser you grew up with that never got up the nerve to make a move.." Chan had tears in his eyes. His hands were shaking. He had been holding this is for a while now.

"What do you mean make a mo-" your sentence was cut short but Chan's lips against yours. Both his hands cupped your face as his mouth and yours pushed back and forth into one another. Your height was making it difficult to reach his mouth like you wanted. You pressed up on the tip of your toes in an attempt to gain more leverage. And just like he had read your mind, Chan picked you up and held you around his waist. He chuckled inside your mouth mid-kiss and the feel of you against him. You ran your fingers through his hair and gave it a slight tug so your eyes met for a moment. The two of you had always had a connection. Very little words had to be spoken to understand what the other wanted, but you could see in his eyes he wanted to hear it. He wanted to hear your voice say that you wanted him as badly as he wanted you.

"I want you." You breathed out.

Chan was maticulous in the way that he touched you. Memorizing every curve and valley of your body. You watched as he kissed your thighs, tracing kisses up to your cunt. He made eye contact with you at the entrance of your core. You shivered at the feeling of his warm breath onto you. You spread your legs for him with a smile. "Do you want to see how I taste, sweet tooth?"

Chan nodded his head quickly. His eyes glossy and focused. He was in a trance and all he could see was you. The first sensation you felt was his nose. The contact made your back arch. You rolled your hips slowly into his large nose. You really fucking loved his nose. His tongue was next, giving long laps on your drenched cunt. Laps like a dog, his eyes closed, almost hypnotized look on his perfect face. He was taking his time, using his tongue to spread open your lips and folds. Low moans leaving his lips while he buried himself deeper. Your lips were thrusting faster now, climbing towards your orgasm. Your best friend about to make you come. Your best friend about to see you come undone for him.

"make me come, channie please" you beg.

Chan lets out a desperate growl as he grabs your ass and pulls you close to his hungry mouth. In turn you grab a handful of his hair with both your hands, riding out your orgasm into his face. The ecstasy overwhelming as you lay on the bed spread open and panting. Chan sat up on his knees and waited. He tilted his head. "You okay?"

You lifted your head to meet his gaze. He was so patient. So kind. You just wanted to fuck the shit out of him. He was your best friend and now he was so much more.

warnings: oral (female receiving), slight stomach bulge mention, unprotected sex (use protection!)

[writingforstraykids]

hiya! i'm still pretty new to your blog but i really like your writing! english isn't my first language but i hope my request is still understandable ^^

m!reader (with they/them pronouns if possible 👉🏻👈🏻) is best friends with chan. chan praises the reader in some way and figures out that they have a praise kink so he just keeps praising them to make them flustered all the time (bonus points if he throws in the classic 'good boy')

oh and i wanted to ask if i could maybe be 🦖 anon?

thank you!

It's always been you

Pairing: Chan x m!reader with they/them pronouns (mention of Minsung)

Word Count: 4301

Summary: Chan and you have been best friends for what feels like forever. You long for more, not knowing that Chan feels the same. Minho and Jisung decide to lend you a hand the way Chan and you did for them.

Warnings/Tags: friends to lovers, fluff, slight angst, smut, teasing, praise kink, dry humping

A/N: I know we've talked a while ago about this request but I hope I did your wishes for it justice, my dear🖤

do not repost, translate, or plagiarize my works in any way here or on other platforms. ©️writingforstraykids 2024 -

You hum gently to yourself as you make your way back home, scrolling through your phone as you try to find a good song. A smile covers your lips as your best friend's voice rings through your ears and you can't help the warm feeling spreading through you. Chan invited you over for a movie night with the boys, and you couldn't wait to spend time with them…or him. Being around Chan made you feel things you never felt for anyone else ever before. Those soft brown eyes, beautiful smile, and warm hugs made you feel so loved. You know there's no chance he would ever love you back, but that didn't stop you from gazing after him. 

You reach their dorm, and Minho lets you in, pulling you into a short hug. “Hey, Min.”

“Hey,” he smiles and closes the door behind you. “Channie hyung will be there in a bit. He went out to grab some snacks with Ji,” he explains and pats your back, leading you inside. 

“Oh, okay,” you nod and glance around the living room, where they've already set everything up. “Can I still help with anything?”

“Nah, you're fine,” he tells you and gently shoves you toward the sofa. “Relax, okay? We got it.”

-

“Fuck, Ji, it's getting worse every time they're there,” Chan sighs and grabs some of your favorite cookies. 

“Worse?” Jisung frowns, and Chan nods weakly. 

“Yeah, they're so funny and adorable and so pretty,” he says and glances at his friend nervously. “I really want to be more than just friends.”

Jisung squints his eyes at him suspiciously. “Just sex or more?” he asks quietly. 

“Not just sex,” Chan shakes his head and awkwardly scratches his neck. “I wanna be there for them, make sure they're safe and loved.”

“Why don't you tell them?” he asks curiously. 

“I'm scared of ruining our friendship,” he admits. 

“You will, one way or the other, won't you?” he asks gently. “You'll regret it if you don't tell them, believe me. I could've saved myself a lot of pain if I told Minho hyung a lot earlier.” 

“Yeah, but…I told you Minho loves you. You had some clarity after that,” he sighs softly. 

“I can ask Y/nnie,” he shrugs, and Chan's eyes widen fearfully. “Then I'll tell you, and you can decide what to do with that information.”

“Yeah, okay,” he gives in after a moment. 

-

You look up as they return from the store and smile softly, spotting Chan and giving him a small wave. Chan smiles back, walks past you, and gently pats your head. “Hey, bestie.”

“Hey,” you smile gently, swallowing at the word that once brought you so much comfort but now is a simple reminder of what you didn't have. 

You see Minho greeting Jisung, pulling him into a hug, and gently rubbing his back. He asks him something you can't quite hear, but his eyes are so soft, his voice gentle, it makes your heartache. Minho giggles at Jisung’s answer and cups his face, kissing his forehead. You quickly look away, biting your lower lip. You still remember how happy you were when they got together, but over time it got hard to watch, wishing for something like this with Chan. “Y/nnie, can I talk to you for a second?” Jisung asks as he pulls back. “I need help with something.”

“You're okay?” Minho asks worriedly. 

“I'm okay,” he assures him softly and squeezes his hand. “Come on,” he waves you over. You get up, not noticing Chan's anxious glance as you leave the room. 

Minho glances at him suspiciously. “Oh…that?”

“Mhm,” Chan nods nervously and Minho flashes him an encouraging smile. 

“How could they not love you, huh?” he chuckles compassionately. “Relax, hyungie.”

-

Only a little later, you're back in the living room, trying not to look all too confused. There isn't much space left on the sofa, and Chan pulls you into his lap naturally. You sink back into him and bite your lower lip nervously. Why the hell did Jisung ask if you're in love? With Chan? Was it that obvious? 

You can barely focus on the movie playing and want nothing more but to leave and think this all through. It's over sooner than you thought, and you're all sitting in a circle on the carpet now. 

“Truth or dare anyone?” Seungmin asks, and you curse yourself quietly. Of course. 

“Not for me, I should get -” you start and see Chan's smile fading. 

“You're leaving already?” he asks worriedly, and you nod quickly.

“Oh, come on, Y/nnie,” Jeongin pouts at you. 

“You can't leave already,” Changing protests and places the cards into your circle. 

“Fine,” you give in weakly and sit down next to Chan, who lifts you into his lap rather quickly again. His arms wrap around your waist, and his chin rests on your shoulder. “Clingy,” you comment fondly. 

“Fuck off,” Chan gives back just as fondly. 

The game goes on, and luckily, you're getting easy tasks and questions that don't make you uncomfortable. Jisung is sleeping in Minho's lap by now as the latter plays with his hair, and Felix's head is resting on his shoulder. Seungmin and Innie keep on teasing each other, hoping for the most stupid questions for each other. Changbin is still reading the questions, and Hyunjin giggles every time he shows him beforehand. You're still comfortable in Chan's lap and giggle as Seungmin spins the bottle, and it points at the two of you. 

“That's pretty in the middle,” Changbin states and frowns softly. 

“I can go; I'll take truth,” Chan volunteers. Changbin glances down at the question before grinning. 

“Do you have a crush? If so, who?” he reads out loud, and Chan stiffens beneath you. 

“I do,” he nods, and your throat dries. 

“Who?” Hyunjin asks, pointing out the second part of the question. 

“Someone I know really well,” Chan says, and your heart drops. That could be everyone in this room, and looking at the others, you know it can't be you. There's no chance. You push yourself from his lap before you fully comprehend your thoughts, excusing yourself for the bathroom. Chan glances after you worriedly as you bump into the table on the way out and exchanges a worried look with Minho. 

“I got it,” Minho nods and gently plants a sleeping Jisung into Felix's lap. “You go on,” he tells the rest before making his way upstairs to the bathroom. Minho gently knocks at the door and fondly rolls his eyes as you don't answer. “Y/nnie, let me in,” he says and waits for another moment. “I'll go get Chan if you don't.” You quickly open the door and pull him inside, locking the door again. “Cozy,” he comments teasingly. 

“Why are you even here?” you sigh softly and sit down heavily at the edge of the bathtub. 

“Shouldn't I ask you that? This can't be more comfortable than Chan hyung’s lap,” he says and sits down next to you, shaking his head. “Definitely not.”

“Mhm, you should know, right?” you ask sarcastically, and Minho grins. 

“Oh, I do…I've seen…or felt…everything you dream about,” he chuckles and gently pats your thigh. “I'm with Ji. What's stopping you now, huh?”

“Don't be ridiculous,” you shake your head and sigh heavily. “There's no way on earth Chan would love me and - oh fuck, I sound just like you,” you groan. 

“You do,” he giggles. “And I remember you telling me to get myself together and finally realize how handsome I am.”

“Well, you are, you dumbass,” you roll your eyes at him. “That doesn't exactly apply to me.”

“I think…I know Chan thinks very differently about that,” he says and is quiet for a moment. “So do I, dumbass,” he says and gently smacks the back of your head. 

Minho's words hit you like a wave, washing away the stubborn layers of doubt that had clung to you all evening. Despite the sting of his playful smack, there's an undeniable warmth in his words, an affirmation that maybe, just maybe, Chan might feel the same way about you. 

"But, Min," you start, your voice trembling slightly from the mix of hope and uncertainty, "What if you're wrong? What if he doesn't... What if it's not me he's talking about?"

Minho raises an eyebrow and gives you a look that screams exasperation mixed with fondness. "Y/nnie, when have I ever steered you wrong? Listen, Chan's not as good at hiding his feelings as he thinks. The way he looks at you? I've seen it. It's more than just friendship. This isn’t my talk to have, though, you know?"

You're about to respond, but there's a knock on the bathroom door that makes you both flinch. "It's me," a voice says, one that sends butterflies rampaging through your stomach. Chan.

Minho winks at you and stands up. He walks past Chan with a knowing look as he exits the bathroom, leaving the door slightly ajar. You're frozen in place, your heart pounding so loudly you're sure Chan can hear it.

Chan steps inside, closes the door behind him, and leans against it. His eyes search yours, filled with a nervous energy that matches your own. "Y/nnie, are you okay? I noticed you left suddenly..."

Taking a deep breath, you nod slowly, trying to muster the courage that Minho seemed to think you had in abundance. "I'm okay, Chan. Just... a lot on my mind, I guess."

Chan moves closer, his concern evident. "Anything you want to talk about? You know you can tell me anything, right?"

The sincerity in his voice nearly breaks you. With a shaky exhale, you decide it's now or never. "Chan, I... I need to ask you something. Earlier, when you said you have a crush... was that-"

Chan's face changes then, but before you can interpret it, he lets out a breath he seems to have been holding. "Yes, it's you. It's always been you, Y/nnie. I was just too scared to say anything because I didn't want to ruin what we had."

The words you had feared and hoped to hear tumble into the small space between you, and for a moment, the world stops. Tears prick your eyes, not from sadness but from an overwhelming relief that floods through you.

"Chan, I... I feel the same," you confess, the weight of your unspoken feelings lifting off your shoulders. "I was so afraid you'd never see me that way."

Chan steps forward, closing the distance between you in an instant. His hands cup your face gently, and he smiles - a real, soft smile that you've dreamed of being meant for you. "How could I not? You're amazing, Y/nnie. I've just been an idiot about it."

And then he kisses you, a soft, sweet kiss that promises more. As you melt into him, the fears and doubts of the past fade away, replaced by the excitement of what comes next.

Outside the bathroom, the sounds of the ongoing game and the laughter of your friends continue, a reminder of the world waiting for you both. But for now, in this small, shared space, nothing matters more than the two of you finally bridging the gap between friendship and something much deeper.

When you finally pull away, Chan's grin is as bright as the stars you imagine are shining outside. "Come on," he says, taking your hand. "Let's go back.”

The two of you sit down again, and you lean back against him comfortably. Your eyes meet Minho’s, and you can’t help but beam at him. Minho smiles gently and winks at you, focusing back on the game. Chan gently intertwines your hands in front of your stomach and rests his head on your shoulder. “Tired?” you ask him quietly enough for only him to hear.

“Starting to be, yeah,” he hums quietly. “You wanna stay tonight?” he asks so sweetly there was no chance you’d deny him. 

“I would love to,” you nod.

The evening goes on, but the atmosphere around you is subtly different now. The other guys seem to pick up on the shift; quick, knowing glances are exchanged, and an occasional smirk is poorly disguised as a cough. As the evening slowly comes to a stop, the games gradually transform into yawns and stretching limbs. One by one, the room starts to empty as everyone heads to their room. Changbin claps Chan on the back as he passes by, whispering something that makes Chan chuckle and squeeze your hand tighter.

Once the room is empty, Chan shifts slightly, turning to face you. "So, what do you want to do?" he asks, his voice low and warm. "We could start another movie, just the two of us, or maybe just talk?"

"The talking sounds nice," you reply, smiling at him

Chan nods in agreement and stands, leading you to his room. You’ve been here so often before, but you never fail to feel at home here. He shuts the door behind you and sits on the edge of the bed, patting the space next to him.

You join him, feeling a blend of excitement and nervousness. "I'm really glad you're here," Chan begins, turning to you with a beautiful smile that makes your heart flutter. "I've wanted to talk like this for so long but didn't know how to start."

"Me too," you admit. "I always wondered what this would be like, talking to you like this, knowing we both feel the same way."

Chan reaches out, brushing a strand of hair from your face. "I've been so scared of messing things up," he confesses. "I didn't want to lose you by taking a step that might have been too much, too soon."

You nod, understanding his fears because they mirror your own. "But we didn't mess it up, did we? We're here now, and it feels right."

"It does," he agrees, his eyes lighting up with a mixture of relief and happiness. "It feels perfect."

"What do you think will happen with us?" you ask a small part of you needing reassurance that tonight's magic will extend beyond dawn.

Chan squeezes your hand, his gaze steady. "I think we're going to be great," he says. "We already know each other so well, and we care about each other. We just have to keep doing what we're doing."

"I love that," you whisper, leaning your head against his shoulder.

"I love you," Chan says softly, the words spoken so naturally, echoing through the quiet room.

"I love you too, Channie," you respond, turning to face him. Your eyes meet his in a look that feels like a promise. He smiles sweetly, dimples showing, and gives you another quick kiss.

Chan stands up and offers you a shirt to sleep in, his shy smile making you laugh. You change and slide under the covers beside him, his arm coming around to hold you close.

The comfort of his embrace and the steady beat of his heart soon draw you into slumber, the challenges of the day fading into the peace of the night.

Two weeks later

You’re at the kitchen table with Minho, whispering the details of Chan’s and your first kiss and talk to him. You haven’t really had time to before with Minho gone for a few days. Minho listens curiously, nodding along, and you can tell he’s happy for you. The rest slowly join you for breakfast, and then Chan comes back from his shower after his gym session. His curls are still damp, a bright smile covering his face as he sees you. He passes you, gently squeezing your shoulder. “Morning, pretty,” he says softly, and you can’t help but feel flustered. A quick kiss to your temple follows, and he’s gone again already, getting himself something to drink. 

Minho notices the blush settling on your cheeks and giggles. “That easily?” he asks, amused. 

You gently shove his shoulder. “Shut up,” you mutter. “I’m not used to it.”

“Mhm,” he hums, still giggling softly.

It gets worse as Chan slips into the chair next to you, flashing you a bright smile and casually resting his hand on your thigh. “You slept well, beautiful?” he asks, not noticing the blush on your cheeks deepening. 

What the hell? Why were his simple words causing such warmth to spread through your body? Why are you blushing so hard after a few kind words? His eyes meet yours, and your stomach tightens at the love in them. Fuck.

“Yeah, did you?” you ask shyly.

“Of course, you’ve always been amazing at cuddling,” he compliments you, and you subconsciously shift in your chair. 

You manage a small smile in response to Chan’s gaze, the affection evident in his eyes almost too much to process so early in the morning. He chuckles softly, his hand squeezing your thigh reassuringly, a simple gesture that somehow speeds up your fluttering heart.

“Sorry,” he whispers, leaning in so that only you can hear, “I didn’t mean to make you blush this much.” His voice is a blend of amusement and tenderness, sending a shiver down your spine. You can't help but feel a little overwhelmed by how natural it all seems to him, this newfound closeness between you.

“It’s okay,” you assure him. 

“Are you sure, pretty boy?” he asks and your lips part softly, eyes widening a little. 

“Channie,” you whisper softly, shaking your head. “Stop it.”

“Stop what?” he asks, a knowing smirk lacing his features. “I’m just saying what I see.”

Your teeth bury into your lower lip as you feel the earlier shyness shift into something much stronger. Chan was getting you all worked up over nothing, and you’re not even done with breakfast yet.

“Give them a break,” Minho leans over suddenly, rolling his eyes playfully at Chan. “You’re getting them all worked up at the breakfast table; behave,” he says quietly enough only for the pair of you to hear.

Chan’s eyes widen, lips parting in a silent ‘oh’ as he picks up on the effect his words have on you. He leans closer to you, his breath tickling your neck. “Didn’t know you had a thing for praise.”

“Me neither, now shut up,” you plead softly, shifting in your seat and pulling at your shirt to cover your lap. Chan’s low chuckle sends shivers down your spine, and you flinch as his hand moves up your thigh. You gaze at him nervously, but Chan doesn’t even glance in your direction, talking to Seungmin opposite him. By now, you can’t get up to escape the possibility of getting caught because you’re slowly growing hard.

Your breath hitches as you try to focus on anything but the warmth of Chan's hand, your body reacting despite the semi-public setting. It's a thrilling yet terrifying mix of emotions, the fear of being noticed wrestling with the pleasure of Chan's subtle touches.

"Hey, you okay?" Seungmin's voice cuts through your haze, and you snap your attention back to him, nodding quickly, too quickly.

"Yeah, just... thought I saw something outside," you stammer, hoping your voice doesn't betray the flush of heat crawling up your neck. Chan smirks slightly, his fingers pausing as if he's aware of your struggle to stay composed.

The rest of the breakfast passes with a sort of hushed intensity, your mind whirling with Chan's teasing and the palpable connection that seems to have everyone subtly glancing your way every so often. You're grateful when the meal finally ends, and there’s an opportunity to escape the intensity of the kitchen.

Chan stands and stretches, his shirt lifting slightly to reveal a sliver of his abdomen. You have to force your gaze away, feeling the heat in your cheeks intensify. "Wanna go upstairs?" he asks, his voice low, meant only for your ears. You pull at the hem of your shirt, nodding shyly and biting your lower lip in anticipation. Chan giggles and pulls you into a tight hug, whispering to you as some of the boys are still here. “Didn’t know you’d be able to hide it so well,” he tells you, hand running down your back. “Think you deserved yourself a reward, pretty boy?”

“Please,” you whisper, burying your flushed face in his shoulder. 

“If you’re good and keep quiet, I’ll help you out,” he whispers, and you tense in his arms, biting your lower lip hard. 

Your body reacts with a shiver at the promise in his words, the idea alone enough to draw a deep, yearning ache from within you. You nod against his shoulder, unable to speak, your heart pounding fiercely in your chest.

Chan leads you quietly upstairs, his hand gripping yours with a reassuring firmness. You pass a couple of the guys lounging in the living area, completely oblivious to the charged atmosphere between you two. Once inside his room, Chan locks the door with a soft click, the sound echoing slightly in the stillness.

"Sit down," he directs gently, pointing to the edge of his bed. You obey, watching him with wide eyes as he kneels down in front of you. His hands rest on your knees, his touch light but sending waves of anticipation through your body.

"How quiet do you think you can be?" Chan asks, his voice low and teasing, his breath warm against your skin as he leans closer.

"I'll be quiet," you promise, your voice barely above a whisper, trembling with the effort of keeping your composure.

Chan smiles, that knowing, mischievous grin that always sets your heart racing. He slowly moves his hands up your thighs, his fingers brushing the fabric of your sweatpants tantalizingly slow. The touch is light, almost teasing, but it’s enough to make you gasp softly.

"Shh," he hushes, his lips brushing against your ear, sending another shiver down your spine. "Remember, you need to be quiet."

You nod, biting your lip hard to stifle any further sounds. Chan’s hands continue their exploration, now slipping under your shirt to trace the lines of your stomach up towards your chest. His touch is feather-light, yet every nerve in your body screams for more contact, more pressure.

Without warning, he presses down more firmly, his palm flat against your chest as he pushes you gently back onto the bed. You go willingly, your body already on fire from his touch, your breathing heavy but controlled as you try to keep your promise.

Chan climbs onto the bed, straddling one of your thighs as he leans over you, his face just inches from yours. “Still doing okay?” he asks, his eyes searching yours for any sign of hesitation.

“More than okay,” you breathe out, the proximity of his body making it hard to think about anything but the feel of him against you.

Grinning, Chan shifts his weight, and you feel the firm pressure of his thigh between yours, exactly where you need him. He watches your face closely as he begins to rock gently, the friction sending sparks of pleasure coursing through you. Your hands find his hips, gripping him, guiding him into a rhythm that has you biting down on your lip to keep silent.

The room is filled with the soft sound of fabric moving against fabric and Chan's steady, controlled breathing. You keep your eyes locked on him, getting lost in the intensity of his gaze as he moves against you. Each motion is deliberate, calculated to drive you closer to the edge without tipping you over too soon.

Chan’s hands are on your hips now, his fingers pressing into your skin, his grip firm and possessive. He leans down to kiss you, slow and deep, his lips moving against yours in a dance that mirrors the movement of your bodies. You respond eagerly, the kiss muffled enough to keep your moans contained.

As the pressure builds, Chan’s movements become more urgent, his body pressing harder against yours. You feel a warmth spreading through you, a tingling sensation that starts deep within and radiates outwards. Your grip on him tightens, and Chan breaks the kiss to look at you, his eyes intense.

“Shit, Channie,” you whisper, almost feeling dizzy at the intensity of finally being this close to Chan. 

“Shh, be a good boy, yeah?” he asks softly, biting back a moan himself as he rocks his hips.

“Close,” you manage to whisper, and he nods, his movements becoming even more focused. You arch into him, your mouth opening in a silent cry of release as waves of pleasure wash over you. Chan holds you through it, his body a steady presence as you tremble beneath him. Chan buries his face in your chest with a soft, punched-out sound as his body shivers, stumbling over the edge. 

When you finally relax back onto the bed, Chan’s face is flushed with his own exertion, a satisfied smile playing on his lips. He kisses you softly, tenderly, a stark contrast to the urgency of moments before.

“Was that quiet enough for you?” you ask, a playful note in your voice despite your exhaustion.

“Perfect,” Chan confirms with a chuckle, his forehead resting against yours. “Absolutely perfect.” You both lie there for a moment, catching your breath, the only sound in the room now the quiet hum of the house around you. Then, with a gentle nudge, Chan encourages you to sit up. “Come on,” he says, his voice gentle. “Let’s clean up a bit, then we can go back down. They’ll wonder where we’ve vanished to.”

“Yeah, okay,” you giggle softly, smiling into the loving kiss he gives you before slipping out of bed. Yeah, you could get used to this and so much more.

MASTERLISTS | PROMPT LIST | GUIDELINES

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[lovestaysblogs]

I would love to see one with chan where they’re friends and she’s going on a date and he doesn’t want her too! Maybe a bit of angst/a mini fight but he ends up confessing and she reciprocates it would be so cuteee!! :)))

miscommunicated love

pairing: bang chan x reader word count: 1531 genre: friends to lovers, fluff, angst, unrequited (but not really) warnings: none network: @skzstarnet request by: @missvanjii

Sometimes you wonder if you deserve love. The red and white decor across town was a blur as the bus drove to your workplace. After twenty-four years of being single the holiday was just another day for you. It neither makes you happy nor sad. What you really yearned for was romantic love. No, a correction. Returned romantic love.

Your heels click clack upon entering your work building. A small smile is on your face as you say your greetings and sit at your cubicle, preparing yourself for the work day ahead of you. A message comes in from one of your friends, Chan. You don’t check it.

Three years ago you met Chan at a friend’s housewarming event. You became close to Haewon very quickly, even though she was your new coworker. And after numerous lunches and dinners, she became one of your best friends in this foreign country. Haewon told you about Chan before you two met. She emphasized how well you two would get along because you both were movie nerds. And that’s where it started.

This push and pull, the picking petals of roses, does he love me, does he love me not.

“We should see a movie together, since we both love them,” He joked.

I’m sure Haewon drilled into his mind that we must meet as well.

“Wait, I would actually be down for that if you’re serious,”

A shy smile crept on his face as he scratched the back of his head slightly nodding along to the idea, “Yeah, let’s do it.”

He cleared his throat as he took your phone and punched in his number.

“I’m looking forward to it,”.

After you two finally made arrangements, you began to wonder. Is this a date?

You questioned Haewon.

“Well, are you guys going alone or did he invite another friend? What exactly did he say over text?”

And the spiral began. You were too nervous to ask Chan if it was a date, because what if it was and then he got weirded out that you couldn’t just pick that up from the first time or he thinks you don’t want it to be a date, when in reality you do and then he decides he no longer wants to go out with you.

If it is a date do you dress up? But what if it isn’t and then you just look awkwardly dressed up for nothing and he thinks you’re weird but what if it is and you don’t dress up and he thinks that you’re not interested.

Haewon tries to tell you that these spirals are nonsensical and that Chan’s a really sweet guy. You should just ask him. But that started another spiral.

You settled on a nice sweater with some jeans, minimal makeup. Casual but not too casual.

Chan smiled as you opened the door. “Wow, you look great!”

Your face warmed, maybe this was a date. “Thank you, so do you.”

“And you changed your hair,”

Right. Since the last time you saw him you recently put in braids. “Yeah, I did,”

During the ‘date’, you couldn’t help but notice how distant he was from you. He was nice enough to buy the tickets and the popcorn. But he spoke only when spoken to.

On the ride home you asked unwillingly just to confirm your fears, “Did… you want someone else to come with us?”

He looked taken aback, as if he didn’t expect you to ask this question.

“Uh did you?”

“I don’t know,”

After that awkward encounter, you made Haewon promise to never set you up with any of her friends again.

You and Chan talked more though. And you realized, he probably didn’t want to be on that date in the first place. You got along well as friends, to the point of where he can call and text you freely. Just like the text he sent today. Usually you guys’ friend group hang out on holidays but with this being Valentine's day and almost all of your friends being in a relationship, that most likely isn’t the plan for this day.

At work, you were very quiet. You did your work and went back home. Apart from Haewon, you didn’t really talk to anyone else. Which is why you were surprised during your break when Doyoung came up to you.

“Hi Y/N” He said.

You saw him around the office from time to time. You’re not from the same department but you frequently have had meetings together.

“Hi,” This was your first time talking to him directly.

“This might come off really rash, but are you free? Later?”

“I am, why?”

“Would you like to get dinner together? I know we don’t talk much but I do want to get you better and it doesn’t have to be anything serious even though it’s Valentine’s, I just want to–”

“Yes, I do.” You smiled at him nicely. “I would like that very much,”

He smiled back at you, “Great so I’ll pick you up at 7?.”

You nodded at him and he waved shyly before leaving. Your phone buzzed again. You forgot to check Chan’s message.

‘Hey Y/N, you free tonight?’ ‘Answer meee - - I know you have work but all of our friends are going out on dates. Soooo wanna hang?’

‘Can’t sorry T.T ! I have a date hehe’

‘Y/N don’t play around - -’

‘I’m not lol. Someone from work just asked me out and I said yes.’

‘Oh’

You couldn’t help but think about the tone of his message. He seemed upset. But he has no reason to be upset. You’re friends. And he made it clear that’s all you’ll ever be.

You pouted at yourself in the mirror as you redid your edges.

You wanted to be excited for this date. The possibility of new beginnings. Moving on. But it doesn’t seem likely with Chan in your life. Always wondering what could have been.

You were putting final touches on your makeup when you heard your apartment bell ring.

You saw Chan on the security camera.

“Chan?” You spoke through the intercom.

“Y/N can we talk?”

You let him up.

He was wearing his infamous black hoodie, paired with the matching beanie, trying to hide his unruly curls underneath.

“Why are you here Chan?” You said, “I’m not going to be here for much longer, I told you. I’m going out tonight,”

“Yeah I know your date.” He sighed before speaking again, “Do you really have to go though, I mean who is this guy? Does Haewon know him?”

“Why does all of that matter? We work together and he asked me out. I don’t have a Valentines, so I’m going. Simple,”

“But,”

“But nothing Chan. I really don’t see why you’re worked up about this.”

“I can’t help but get the sense you’re mad at me.”

“I’m not mad. I’m confused and I’m frustrated and annoyed. Okay you know what I am mad at you. Who are you to come to my apartment, thirty minutes before my date and start question question me?”

“Who am I? Y/N what do you mean? Am I not special in your life? Do I mean nothing to you?”

“Chan I didn’t say that,” You breathed.

Your eyes locked together. He was pleading, begging you’d understand what he means. The true intent of his questions. Of him being there, without him saying it word for word.

“I don’t know what’s going on. With you. With our friendship –”

He sighed.

“What?” You questioned.

“You did it again.”

“What did I do?”

“Friendship?’

“Are we not friends? Chan this is getting ridiculous”

He said nothing.

“I am sick and tired of this Chan. You were the one that drew that boundary and now that I respect it and am desperately trying to move on, I’m the evil one? For not playing into the uncertainty and unambiguousness?”

“A boundary? What are you talking about?”

“The stupid movies. I don’t even know if it was a date but the first time we hung out one on one. I could tell you were only doing it because of Haewon and you were uncomfortable the whole time. You barely glanced at me. You barely spoke to me” You rolled your eyes.

“No. God I’m so stupid. Y/N I was so nervous. I could barely look at you because I didn’t know what to say. And then you brought up if I wanted to invite someone else, I couldn’t help but think I bombed our first date and ruined my chance at getting a second.”

“Wait so,”

“I like you. A lot. And I’m so sorry.”

“Well, I like you too you idiot,”

He looked up with a small smile on his face, “Does this mean you won’t go on that date,”

You returned his smile and locked your hands around his neck, “I cancelled it from I let you up here. Even if this didn’t go the way it did, I would not be able to go on a date with someone else after seeing you,”

“Y/N I promise you, I’ll do better,”

“I will too,”.

a/n:

reblogging helps writers so if you really liked it please reblog !

hihi:) finally got the motivation and courage to reread this, edit this and post it, even though i didn't like it very much. thank you so so much for the request!! i appreciate it and trust i will start working on your minho request too. thank you guys for following and reblogging my work. like you don't understand, every reblog makes me so happy. so if you like this, please reblog and comment. it'll make my day!! i'm not doing the best mentally so i apologize that fics are not just coming out so frequently, but i'm trying. i've talked for too long. i wish y'all love and happiness your way!! 🥹🫶💗

[outro-jo]

i don’t have a title for this

pairing: bang chan (chris) x best friend!reader (gender neutral)

type: one shot

summary: some news about your best friend has you out all night but of course he’s the one that’s gonna come to your rescue

warnings: none tbh, not rly edited, mentions of drinking and nudity

a/n: please use my ask box to request anything else you’d want me to write!

masterlist | info

—————————

you don’t quite know how you got here or where here is, exactly. it started with a couple of shots with some friends at a bar in gangnam. that bar became another bar, then another, and then a club until your feet were almost bloodied from the walking and dancing—thanks to all the alcohol, you couldn’t feel a thing. now you were stumbling through the streets, wandering aimlessly. your best friends who had drug you out tonight had each found someone else to go home with and you walked alone. not by choice, certainly. well, at least not your choice.

the reason you’d actually gone out was because your best friend started dating someone, or that’s what dispatch said. normally you don’t let things like silly gossip get to you but this wasn’t some idol you read about, it was your best friend.

your best friend who you used to bathe with as babies. the best friend who knows about the broken nose you got in grade 4 and why you got it. he knows about the mole in the weird place no one else has seen before. the best friend that begged you to move to Korea with him to go to uni. the best friend who knows ever dark secret you hide, has seen nearly every tear you shed… and the one who has your heart completely.

he has no idea.

your friends could see you immediately spiraling over the article and insisted you all go out tonight. after about the third drink you could start feeling your mind numb and you began to finally enjoy yourself. of course, you did lose count of drinks after about nine. so, here you are, stumbling through the streets.

your phone lit up: “best mate 💕”

“well, well, fancy meeting you here.” you slurred with a goofy grin plastered on your face.

“oh, naur, i’m too late.” Chris scolded himself. he had every intention of warning you about the article but it slipped his mind. “where are you?”

“umm.” you stopped and looked up at the street sign before reading it off. “next to that boba place we like.”

“ok, yeah, i know the one. stay right there! don’t move!” you could hear clattering in the background of him gathering his things.

“aye, aye, sailor!” you saluted the light post and sighed before taking a seat on the ground.

it was only a minute that you had closed your eyes before you felt a hand rest on your shoulder.

“Darling? Babe, c’mon. let’s go.” Chris’s soft voice awakened you only for a minute as he scooped you up and carried you to the car.

the street lights flashed above your head as chris made his way back to your apartment but all you saw was black with your eyes closed. white noise began fading in and you were pretty much out for the count with chris not only getting to your apartment but carrying you inside. it wasn’t until your back was rested on your mattress that you looked up and realized who was with you.

“Chris! you came!” you exclaimed softly.

he looked down at you adoringly, smoothing the hair back on your forehead, “you called.”

you laughed loudly. “I did not! you called me. loser!l

“yeah, yeah, i’m the loser.” he said to himself as he walked into the bathroom for a minute.

your eyes had closed again by the time he came back and you suddenly felt wet on your cheek as Chris took a make up wipe to your face. you felt him clean off your face before asking, “you alright if i change your clothes?”

“yes, mr. gentleman.” you sprawled your arms, “strip me!”

again Chris chuckled and removed your outfit. he tried extra hard not to stare at your mismatched lingerie for too long. a small smirk played at the corner of his lips remembering how you had told him once that if someone is matching lingerie/undergarments they’re planning on hooking up. he took comfort in knowing that your only intent of the evening was to blow off some steam.

he wished so badly that you were sober and could have an actual conversation of what’s happening. how it was all a lie spread by a sasaeng when they saw him and sana together.

that probably hurt you a lot too. seeing him with another long time friend he constantly told you he had no feelings for and it was everywhere that they were now together, but they weren’t.

instead of having that conversation, he pulled one of his old tour shirts out and carefully put it on you. he loved seeing you in his clothes, made him feel like you were his.

chris took a seat on the edge of the bed, brushing your hair off your face. he watched for a moment, the way your chest would rise and fall. you were so peaceful like this, so beautiful. his thumb rested on your cheek, rubbing it up and down. after a moment or two, chris went to stand up and leave but you caught his wrist.

“noooo,” you whined into your pillow. “please stay with me.” you raised your arm to welcome him in.

chris chuckled and relented. he clicked off the lamp and climbed in next to you. he assumed the position of the big spoon behind you, pulling you in close. this wasn’t unfamiliar to him. your body pressed against his, the smell of your shampoo and perfume lingering around you. it was so safe and comfortable.

he remembers the first time you saw him after he moved. it was after a particular conversation you had with him that involved him crying that he might not get to debut. at 13, you had convinced your elderly grandmother to use her credit card so you could fly (unaccompanied) from australia to south korea. thankfully chris’s parents were coming in a few days but the days you had with chris before they came were magical. he snuck you into the dorms and he held you like he is now.

“chris?” you voice broke the fading memory.

“yeah, love.”

even half asleep your heart cracked at the pet name. “why her? why didn’t you tell me?” you nearly cried. with your face still smushed against your pillow, Chris would have almost thought it was cute, if you weren’t so sad.

“baby, we’ll talk in the morning. I’m not dating her. please, just go to sleep.”

you turned to him, rubbing your face. “you’re not?”

he shook his head.

“well, now i can finally date you.” you didn’t even think. the words fell out of your mouth without a thought and disappeared. they didn’t faze you one bit as you rolled back over, snuggled into him and went back to sleep.

but Chris was as stiff as a board. he couldn’t move. he didn’t want to dare disrupt a universe in which you had just confessed your feelings to him. he was too scared the if he moved, he’d jinx it and go back to a world where you weren’t potentially his. you did say it though. the words echoed in his head and his heart raced.

finally he unfroze and leaned down to kiss your cheek. “yes, baby, you can finally date me.”

“oh, good!” you sighed. “i love you, Channie”

[producedbyhanjisung]

⎯ N'OUBLE PAS DE VIVRE. christopher bahng chan

🎧 : bang chan x female reader

TROPE. streetracer!au, fake dating au

WORD COUNT. 5.9k

WARNINGS. drinking, mentions of drugs, illegal activities, streetracing, smut

PARTS. one, two, three

SYNOPSIS. y/n, new to seoul, south korea, has yet to find the crowd she wants to roll with. that is, until she hears one of her best friends babbling about the hottest topic of the city - the streetracers. specifically a group known as "stray kids". when y/n finds herself in the backseat of one of the racers' cars, she is thrown unexpectedly into a world much different from the one she was raised in - and perhaps has found the crowd she wants to roll with.

SMUT WARNINGS. kind of dirty talk not really, oral sex (f receiving), fingering (f receiving) (there will be more in the other parts)

n'ouble pas de vivre. ⎯ don't forget to live.

"What if I told you that I fucking hate you?" You glance over at your father, eyes lidded. You know you're high out of your mind, and you know that you don't really mean it - you haven't meant anything you've said in the past three hours.

"You don't hate me." Your father flips the page of his book absentmindedly, practically ignoring the fact that you're screaming in his face.

"I hate you!" You yell, and as if trying to make your point, you smudge the end of your cigarette on the wall. Part of you hopes that your father will stand up and reprimand you - the other part hopes you can continue getting away with your outrageous behavior.

"Why do you hate me, Y/N?" He finally looks up, locking eyes with you.

"You tore me away from my home," you say finally, sitting down against the wall. "I want to see my mom."

"You know damn well where your mother is." A flash of anger tears through your father's face, before quickly fading. He composes himself, straightening his suit. "Your mother is dead, honey."

You realize that you're crying now, but you couldn't give less of a fuck. Your father - this man who you've never met before in your life - has never chosen to care about you before the death of your mother. Why on Earth would he choose to care now? What was so important that you had to pack yourself up from New York and cross the fucking world to get to Seoul, South Korea?

"Fuck you!" You yell, standing quickly and moving through the hallway, up the stairs and to the bedroom that you've never slept in before. This is not your childhood bedroom, or the one that your mother always kept ready when you were away at college, or even the one at your ex-boyfriend's house - what on Earth were you going to do without Soobin here?

Some deep, hidden recess of you understands that this situation isn't your father's fault - in fact, you're sure he'd much rather be out partying and bringing home anyone he pleases than babysitting for an eighteen-year-old walking depressive episode. You know that he doesn't want you here, and you don't want to be here either.

So why won't he let you leave?

The thoughts make their way hurriedly through your mind, as though they're late to a business meeting in some other deep cavity of your skull. Soon, the rushing puts you to sleep, and you're left to dwell alone in your subconscious.

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ☆⭒

When you awaken again, it's nearly six am. With class two hours later, you get up slowly and get ready for your day, brushing your teeth and donning your clothes that look much too American for your liking.

"Can we pick up Soyeon?" you ask as you exit your father's house, looking over at his private driver, who just bows and nods at you. You're at Soyeon's apartment fifteen minutes later, and the pretty blond grins as she jumps into the backseat of the sports car with you, clutching her bag.

In your entire two months living in Seoul already, you've made all but one friend - Jeon Soyeon. An aspiring underground rapper with a taste for expensive sunglasses. She splays out across the backseat, letting her legs drape over your lap as she hangs her head out the window. "How mad was your dad last night?" she asks, tilting her head at you as she swings her head back in to examine your face.

"Not mad," you say, taking out a cigarette and lighting it. You catch a glimpse of the driver wrinkling his nose, but you ignore it, taking a drag and blowing a puff of smoke at your friend's face. "He wasn't upset at all until I brought up my mom. I don't think he cares that I was smoking and stuff."

Soyeon pretends to pout. "You're lucky. My mom is such a cunt about all that stuff. 'That shit kills you, Soyeon.' Like I don't wanna die already!" she giggles, and you can tell that even now, at seven-thirty in the morning on a random Tuesday in March, Jeon Soyeon is high out of her mind.

"I'm so glad we ended up in the same psych class," she says, bloodshot eyes glancing up at you. "Life would be so boring. All those fucking do-gooders are fucked."

"You're fucked," you say, pushing her playfully.

"So are you, bitch!" she laughs.

Not long after, you've arrived at the university that the two of you take classes together at. You get out of the car, shouldering your bag and stepping out onto the green, Soyeon following behind you. Around you, students bustle around, lounging between classes, hand-in-hand with their lovers, trying to run from a one-night-stand without being seen. You smile as a girl runs from bush to bush, trying to fix her mousy hair and hide the fact that she's still wearing the dress you saw her in at the party last night. In fact, you remember taking off that dress. You wonder how she ended up at someone else's dorm.

Soyeon hardly notices anything, running a little ahead of you and jumping into a much-too energetic cartwheel.

"Who'd you end up going home with last night?" you ask her, jogging a little to catch up.

"Some guy. Chi . . . Ji-something? . . . no . . . Sung? . . . Jisung? I think that's what his name was."

You nod. "Was he nice?"

"He was cool," Soyeon says. "I've seen him and his friend a few times at the rap shows. Sometimes one of them gets up and does a little freestyle. He's pretty good. He's part of a street racing group though, did you know?"

"Street racing?"

"Come on, don't tell me they don't have street racing in America."

"No, they do, it's just like not something that happens a lot. And most American street racers don't go to prestigious universities, either."

"Haughty haughty." Soyeon wiggles her eyebrows at you, nudging you gently. "Most stoners don't go to prestigious universities either. And here we are, strolling into a fucking psych lecture in a prestigious university."

You take your seats beside each other, waiting for the lecture to begin.

"You should come with me. Jisung asked if I wanted to come see a race tonight. He said I could get a backseat pass and everything." She winks at you, and you shake your head knowingly. "Seriously though. It could be fun! Maybe you'll find your new calling."

You roll your eyes. "I'd rather not," you say.

So, how exactly did you end up here, fourteen hours later, sitting in a crowded back-alley dotted with girls showing too much skin and guys showing off their fancy multi-colored cars.

"This doesn't seem like a street race," you tell Soyeon, fixing your dress. It's practically vanta black and too short, but Soyeon said it complimented your figure and you didn't want to fight with her.

"That's cause none of the big leagues have shown up yet. These are all just bozos who get off on girls in small tops."

"You do realize that you're a girl in a small top, right?" You glance over at Soyeon, who is dressed in a flattering bikini top and jean skirt, showing off her delicate body.

Soyeon turns around and wiggles her ass at you. "Damn right I am." She stands back up, ignoring the whistling and claps that erupt around us at her little display, and leads me over into a semi-vacant corner of the lot. "Look, they're starting to show up. I'll give you a rundown of the big groups, yeah?"

You nod, looking around.

"See them, over there? The four girls? That's Blackpink. Their racers are Lisa and Jisoo - some of the best girls in the league." She points off at a group of four girls, standing beside two cars - one black and one pink.

"Them? Ateez. Hongjoong is in charge of them, I think, but he doesn't race." She continues rattling off names that don't mean anything to you - Itzy, Seventeen, Le Sserafim, P1Harmony, and a few others. Finally, she pauses. "Look, there's Jisung. He's with Stray Kids."

"Stray Kids?"

"Mhm. They're at the top right now. Four racers, four mechanics, but they practically all do everything. Look, those four are the racers. They have names, I'm sure, but everyone calls them by their racer names. J.One - that's Jisung - and Spear.B and I.N. And that's CB97. Jisung, Changbin, Jeongin, and Chan."

"Chan is cute."

She looks over. "You think so?"

You nod, watching him. His hair was short-ish and hung in dark curls that framed his face nicely. He had a piercing on his nose, and wore a fitted black shirt and jeans that looked way too big for him. Even so, it was clear he was ripped, and held himself with confidence, even amongst the rest of his team.

"You and every other girl here," Soyeon says. "He graduated from the school we're going to last year."

You nod again, hardly able to form words as you watch his graceful movements. You barely pay attention as Soyeon spouts off the rest of the members, then drags you over to say hi to Jisung, who grins and kisses her on the cheek as the two of you come up to them.

"Who's this?" he asks, turning to you.

"Y/N," you say, bowing slightly.

He laughs. "None of that, let's be informal. No one here gives a fuck. Soyeon, can you come help me with something?"

Soyeon nods, giggling and blowing you a kiss as Jisung whisks her away.

"Great," you say quietly to yourself. "Alone."

"Not alone," says a deep voice behind you. You turn, finding yourself face to face with none other than CB97 - Chan.

"Oh, no?" you ask. "I look pretty alone to me."

He shakes his head, leaning against the car. "I'm here, aren't I?"

You nod, trying to hold back your urge to scream and kick your feet like a little kid. "I suppose so."

"American?"

You sigh. "Mhm."

"We can speak English then, love." You look up quickly as the boy switches from Korean to English, what sounds like an Australian accent layered thick over his pretty voice.

"Oh, okay."

"Ever been to one of these before? Races, I mean."

You shake your head. "First time. My, uh, my friend dragged me out here actually. She's with Jisung, I guess? They went to go work on something together."

Chan shakes his head. "Of course they are. Soyeon is your friend? She's trouble."

You nod. "Tell me about it."

"I'm Chan, by the way. Bang Chan. Everybody around here calls me CB97 though."

"Do you want me to call you that?" you ask, looking up at him.

"You can call me Chan, pretty girl. Now, do you have a name? Or should I just keep calling you pretty girl?"

"Pretty girl works for me." You smile. "My name's Y/N though."

"Y/N." He mutters the name over and over, as if turning it over like a coin in his mind. "Cute."

"Thanks."

"Chan!" You both look up at a redheaded boy who called his name, waving him over to a deep purple car.

"That's my queue." Chan winks at you. "Here, um, can I have your number?"

"I, yeah, do you have any paper or something to write it on?"

"CHAN."

"I'm fucking coming, Minho." Chan presses his hand to his temple, eyes closed. He turns back to you. "Let me grab my phone, it's just in my car-"

"Ten, nine, eight . . ."

"You know what? Fuck." Chan practically manhandles you over to his car, opening the backseat and basically tossing you in before getting in the driver's seat.

"What the fuck?" you snap, sitting up as the door is closed behind you.

"Hang on," Chan says softly, and you watch his eyes flit around the dash, searching for problems with his car. He drives slowly up to a white line in the road, lining up with three other cars. You don't recognize either of the drivers on the other sides of Chan. "Come up front," Chan says quickly, patting the passenger seat. "Quick."

You do as he says, climbing up to the passenger seat of the car and buckling your seatbelt quick.

"I hope you don't get motion sickness." He tries to joke, glancing over at you. You glare at him. "Look, I'm sorry. I really didn't want to lose you in the crowd or anything and I couldn't find my phone and I didn't have enough time, so I just- I don't know. I just brought you in here with me. I'm sorry."

You sigh. "I can't even pretend like I'm upset. You're really fucking hot. You know what they always say: n'ouble pas de vivre."

"What is that, French?"

"'Don't forget to live.' Yeah, it is."

"I've never heard that before."

"It's basically like saying 'fuck it' to the world."

"Maybe I like that saying. Look, if you wanna get out-"

You look over at him. "Hell no. I have too much social anxiety to walk off the track like that."

Chan cracks a smile. "Then buckle up, sweetheart."

"I'm buckled."

He reaches over, and you find your heart pounding in your chest as he tugs on your seatbelt, making sure it's tight. "I'm not stopping once we start," he says. "This race is important."

"I wouldn't expect you to." You flash him a smile. "Relax. It's cool."

"You say that now," he says, cracking his neck in a jerky movement.

You roll your eyes, slumping back in your chair. In front of you, a tanned woman wearing hardly a bikini steps out in front of the cars, holding a red flag in each hand. She raises the flags, and Chan tightens his grip on the steering wheel.

The woman raises both flags. You hardly see her drop them before Chan's foot is all the way down on the gas, propelling the car forward. You let out an involuntary yell, and you catch Chan grinning out of the corner of your eye.

The race is over as soon as it had begun. Chan won - not surprising, considering the reckless way he drove - and looked over to smile at you as you pulled back into the lot. "Enjoy it?"

"I'm never ever getting in a car with you again."

He snorts a laugh. "I liked the part when you were screaming."

"What, the entire time?"

"Something like that."

"Don't you have to go greet your adoring fans?" you ask, only half joking.

"I'd much rather sit in here and talk to you."

You pretend to run your fingers through your hair to hide the smile that flits across your face.

"Do you live anywhere around here?" he asks.

You shake your head. "Other side of the city."

Chan presses his lips together. "It's getting pretty late . . . my apartment is close by. If you wanted to, you could stay there for the night. I have a feeling your friend will end up there too."

"You share an apartment with Jisung?"

He nods. "Jisung, Hyunjin, and Changbin. Loud fucking group."

You smile. "That sounds nice. You're not gonna like, kidnap me and eat my kidneys are you?"

"If I wanted to kidnap you, I'd have already had plenty of opportunities for it. As for eating your kidneys, I can't promise anything." Chan looks over at you with an expression that sets your heart pounding in your chest.

"Stop looking at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like that, you freak."

The name calling is playful, but Chan pretends to be offended, opening his mouth in feign shock. He moves to say something, but he's interrupted as a pretty boy with longer hair knocks hard on his window, making a disgruntled face and pointing for Chan to unlock the door.

"Hey, Jinnie. This is Y/N, have you met her yet?"

The man shakes his head, then bows a little at me. "I'm Hyunjin."

"Nice to meet you." You smile at Chan's roommate.

"She's coming back with us tonight," Chan tells Hyunjin. "Her apartment is across town, so I figured that would be fine."

"Sure, like Jisung and Soyeon won't be loud enough as it is."

"We're not going to fuck, asshat." Chan pulls Hyunjin's beanie off his head, getting out of the car to dance around him playfully. You get out too, laughing at their antics.

"You have any more races?" Hyunjin asks as he snatches his beanie back.

"Not tonight. Do the others?"

Hyunjin shakes his head. "I'm gonna head back now. Let the others know."

Chan nods. "We'll be there soon."

For the remainder of the evening, Chan's arm is locked around your waist, keeping you close to him, as though you getting in the car with him was some sort of unspoken oath that you would be by his side the rest of the night. He takes you around to meet the other members of his crew, then a few others. You recognize a few from Ateez, who Stray Kids seem to be particularly close with. Finally, Chan announces that the two of you are leaving. Minho and Felix are quick to catch up to Chan and you, asking if they could catch rides with Chan.

As you approach his car, you move to get in the backseat, expecting one of the other boys to take their position next to Chan. You jump a little as Chan grabs your wrist, opening the passenger door for you.

"Well I'll be damned," Felix says, grinning at the display, "Channie's whipped for you, Y/N, you should be proud."

Minho grunts in agreement from the other side of the car. Chan rolls his eyes at both of them, helping you in the car then going over to his side and getting in.

The ride back to their apartment is talkative, with Minho and Felix telling you embarrassing stories about Chan and cracking jokes from the backseat, with Chan occasionally chiming in to make fun of them too. He keeps looking over at you, like he's checking if you're safe, even though you're no longer doing eighty on a city road.

You finally pull up to a nice-looking apartment building, and everyone gets out. You follow the three boys to the seventeenth floor, to apartments 17A and 17E, which are each across the hall from each other. Chan bids goodnight to Minho and Felix, who enter 17E, and unlocks the door to 17A, smiling at you. "Tired?"

"Not particularly, why?"

"'Cause I can smell the weed that Hyunjin got out."

The rest of the night is a blur, filled with smoking and weird pastries that Changbin practically pulled out of his ass and really good music that, apparently, Chan likes to make.

The next morning, you wake up in Chan's bed with a raging headache and only half dressed. Chan is sitting on the floor, reading a book. You mumble something inaudible, and he turns to look up at you.

"Morning," he says, smiling as he shuts the book and moves to sit next to you on the bed. "How do you feel?"

You groan, mashing your head into the pillow.

"Yeah, I figured as much. Here, take some Tylenol." You don't even look at the pill and cup of water Chan hands you as you down it.

He runs a hand through your hair, looking down at you. "Take your time, pretty girl. I'm in no rush, and I have a feeling you aren't either."

"Thank you," you say, reaching up to gently trace patterns on his wrist.

"You know, it's funny."

"What is?"

"We met each other last night."

You open your eyes. "What?"

"It seems like we've known each other forever, don't you think?"

You blink, sitting up a little. "Yeah, it does, honestly."

He smiles. "I guess that's good, right?"

You nod, looking around. "Is this your room?" There's posters of bands and cars on the wall, a collection of CDs and vinyls littering his half-open closet, and a rack of clothes waiting to be folded.

He nods. "Sorry, it's kind of messy."

You shake your head. "It's homey. I love it."

"You do?"

"Mhm."

"You could come over a lot more, you know. I like having you here. It was nice sleeping next to someone for a change."

You look up at him, eyes widening.

"What, you didn't expect me to sleep on the floor, did you? Not even for you, pretty girl."

"Stop calling me that, it doesn't apply in this situation."

"Yes it does." Chan rolls his eyes, touching your face tentatively. "You're absolutely gorgeous. Even with your makeup everywhere." He laughs softly, running a thumb under your eye to collect the bits of mascara that came off while you were sleeping.

"Thanks," you mumble.

"Come on, I'll help you up. Hyunjin made waffles for everyone."

You let Chan lead you into the main section of the apartment, where Changbin, Hyunjin, Jisung, and Soyeon are all sitting around a table, looking out the window over Seoul.

"Morning," Chan says, making his way to the kitchen part of the room.

A round of "morning"s chorus from the other side of the room.

"I'll get you some, go sit," Chan tells you as you join him in the kitchen. You do as he says, moving over to the couch to sit next to Soyeon, who's wearing a sweatshirt you've never seen before.

"Where's that from?" you ask. "It's cute."

"It's mine," Jisung says, smiling. "I'm glad you like it."

Soyeon nods. "How was it with Chan last night?"

"I have no idea," you tell her. "I have no memory of last night past taking the blunt from you."

She grins. "He was pretty adamant about you guys not having sex."

"I don't think we did, actually. I was fully clothed when I woke up."

"That's a good sign," she says, nodding solemnly. "I wasn't, so . . ."

You push her playfully, laughing.

Chan finally joins you all on the couch, grinning as he hands you a plate of waffles. As you move to take a bite, you're surprised by the sound of the doorbell. Hyunjin jumps up to get it.

"Chan!" he calls from the front of the apartment. He darts back into the living room. "It's your mom!"

Chan blinked once, then twice. "My mom?"

"Dude, she's right outside!"

"Fuck!" Chan says. "Y/N, I'm about to ask you something that you might not want to do, and you totally don't have to. My mom texted me last night to ask where I was and I told her I was out with my girlfriend. Is there any way you could, maybe, like, pretend to be dating me?"

You stare at him. Is this not something out of those romance books you read when you were younger? And Chan, the super mega hot street racer wanted this?

"Yeah, of course," you say.

"Okay." Chan breaks into a smile, and you hear Hyunjin let his mom in.

Everyone stands up, moving towards the door as a short, pretty woman enters. Chan steps forward, pulling her into a tight hug. "Mom! Why'd you come up, I thought you were gone visiting Hannah?"

"His sister," Changbin mouths to you, and you nod.

"I thought I'd take a layover in Seoul on my way to LA," the woman says, smiling.

"How long are you here for?"

"Two days. Now! Enough about me! Where's that pretty girlfriend you were telling me about?"

Chan laughs, nodding. He turns and takes your hand, pulling you forward next to him. He wraps his arm around your waist, kissing your forehead. "This is Y/N, Mom."

Chan's mom takes your hands in hers and smiles at you. "You're gorgeous, darling, I can see what Chan has been saying about you."

You look over at him for a split-second, then back at his mother. "Thank you so much." You smile.

She pats your face, then looks up at Chan. "And you dilly-dallied with that Libby for so long. I can't believe this beautiful woman wants to be with you."

"Mommmm," Chan says, groaning.

"Alright, alright. I just wanted to drop by. Would you all like to come out with me for dinner tonight?" his mom asks. "You can ask the other boys too, I know you eight don't like to go places without each other. And Y/N, you're welcome to come as well. And um, you dear." She smiled and bowed a little at Soyeon, who blushed and bowed back.

"We'd love to, Mrs. Bahng," Jisung says.

Everyone shares a few more goodbyes before Mrs. Bahng exits, leaving the six of you.

Chan turns to you immediately. "You're my literal savior, thank you so much. I mean, seriously."

"You should give her some better thanks than that," Jisung says. "Y/N just saved your ass."

Chan looks down at you. "I'm sure we'll work something out."

You can't help but feel an explosion of butterflies in your abdomen. Chan's gaze is fairly seductive as he watches you, eyelashes fluttering. You look back up at him, lips curling into a smile.

Barely an hour later, Chan and you are sitting on the porch of the apartment together, smoking a blunt that Jisung pulled out of his sock drawer.

"You know," Chan says. "I could give you a better thanks." He looks over at you.

You're not sure if it's the marijuana filtering through your body, or if he actually is, but you swear you've never seen a hotter man in your life.

"Oh yeah?" you ask. "What did you have in mind?"

He looks over at you pointedly, as if letting you know with his eyes.

"What?" you ask.

"I could eat you out," he tells you.

You cough, a puff of smoke leaving your lips. "You could what?"

"That's what Jisung told me to do. I'm just following what he said. But I like you. You're pretty. Actually, you're super gorgeous. You might actually be the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. I definitely wouldn't mind eating you out. Or just kissing you. Or just touching your lips wouldn't be that bad either . . ."

You tilt your head, smiling as he rambles on.

Finally he pauses. "You're really pretty."

"You're pretty fucking hot yourself," you tell him, passing the blunt.

"You think so?"

"Have you seen yourself?"

He laughs. "I'm glad you think so, Y/N. You don't have to make up your mind about it anytime soon, just, like, let me know, you know? It's the least I can do."

"Actually, I have an idea," you say.

Chan looks up. "Yeah?"

"I've never had sex," you say bluntly. Then you pause. "With a guy, at least. And I'm not good at kissing anyways. Here's my proposal. I'll keep pretending to be your girlfriend for as long as it takes, but you have to teach me all this stuff. How to like, give blowjobs and such."

"You've never given a blowie before?" He looks up in surprise. "With your pretty lips?"

If this were any other man, you would've found that comment horrendous. But this was Christopher Bahng, so you were perfectly okay with it.

"Sure," he says at last. "That sounds like a fair deal. N'ouble pas de vivre. When should we begin?"

You shrug. "Whenever, I guess."

"Well, it's only fair you get something today, cause you directly helped me today," Chan says.

You giggle, starting to stand. "You want me to suck you off, Channie?"

He shakes his head, standing from his chair and pushing you back into yours. One hand presses your lower abdomen, pinning you in place while the other pushes your legs apart, spreading them as he gets on his knees in front of you. "I don't want that to be how we start. I wanna taste your pretty pussy."

You blush, not used to the foul language he's speaking, but writhe anyways as he rakes one hand up your thigh, gently tugging on the hem of your shorts. "Hips up."

You do as he says, lifting your hips for him to let him slide both your panties and shorts off. "The others-" you start to say, but Chan stops you.

"I've caught them in much more compromising positions," he says. "This is nothing, babygirl."

Babygirl. You're once again reminded of your new life motto: if this was anyone other than this man saying these things, you would absolutely die. But, because it's Christopher Bahng, you'll let it slide.

"It's not?"

He shakes his head. "Just relax, okay? Let me do it all, yeah?"

You nod slowly, letting him push your legs apart, leaving you bare to him - and anyone unfortunate enough to be on the roof of the building over. You hardly cared, however, because he looked up at you with a smug grin on his face, face slowly moving toward your cunt.

"Chan," you say softly. You're not sure what you're trying to say to him by saying his name, but he just shakes his head and delves between your legs.

You moan softly as his tongue flicks against your clit, and you feel one of his fingers running up your thigh, all the way to tease your clenching hole.

You moan a little louder as he kisses your pussy, running his tongue between your folds and all around, slowly letting a finger slip inside you. Before you know it, there are two inside you, gently massaging your g-spot, which he seemed to have no trouble finding.

There's a new sort of tension in your stomach, building up as he continues his ministrations. You feel his nose brush against your clit, pressing harder against it as he licks around your hole, working around his fingers. Without warning, you're cumming hard, shaking and moving to close your legs around his head. "Oh, baby," you hear him say, his voice teasing. "That felt good?"

Chan pries your thighs back open, fingering you through your orgasm as he watches your face in awe.

You slump in your chair as you come down from your high, and Chan smiles, standing. He helps you back into your panties and shorts, then sits you back down, smiling. "You look beautiful when you cum. I mean you look beautiful always, but like, particularly when you cum."

You blush, not expecting such a blunt compliment.

He continues on, much to your dismay. "You just looked so . . . fucked out, I guess. Like you were fucking ascending or something. You looked gorgeous."

"I'm glad you think so," you giggle a little. "Um, thank you for that."

"Anytime." Chan grins. "Literally, anytime."

You smile. "I'll let you know next time."

Chan nods. "So, um, I have a race tonight. Do you wanna come with me? I think the boys might stay back, and it's nice when someone rides shotgun."

"Sure," you say. "It was fun last time."

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ☆⭒

That night, you find yourself standing in front of the mirror in Chan's room, with Soyeon sitting on the bed behind you. Chan is in the shower, playing some odd assortment of music, and you're trying to figure out what to wear to his race.

"When it comes to these things," Soyeon is explaining to you, "the sluttier, the better."

"Do I really wanna dress like a slut though?"

"Yes. Always."

You turn and look at what she's holding out to you. You unfold the first item - a low-rise jean skirt. "My whole ass is gonna be hanging out, Soyeon."

She shrugs. "I like your ass. Chan obviously likes your ass. You have a great ass. Let it free, mama."

"For the top?" you ask, rolling your eyes.

Soyeon chucks something at you.

"This is barely a top."

"Let your titties free!" Soyeon crows.

You giggle. "How much have you smoked so far tonight?"

She shrugs. "I lost count at six hits. Wanna make out?"

Chan walks out of the bathroom just as she says this. He pauses, looking at you, then at Soyeon. "Don't let me stop you, ladies." You hardly pay attention to what he says though, because Chan is shirtless. He has a towel draped around his waist, his dark hair is wet and curly and shaggy on his head, and his torso, good god. His torso is muscular and defined, with a full six pack, monstrous pecs, and muscular arms.

Soyeon stands, holding out the skirt and top to Chan. "Don't you think Y/N should wear something like this tonight?"

Chan tongues his cheek, examining the clothes. "I think Y/N should wear whatever she wants to wear. But, I think you'd look fucking hot in these."

"Seeeeeee, sweetie? I've got your back. Go put these on."

When you emerge from the bathroom after your changing, you feel like a different woman. Soyeon was definitely right about her outfit choice for you. A nice pair of heels, a low-rise jean skirt, a black halter top that hardly covers your tits. She ended up throwing a thong into the bathroom too at some point, which you now have pulled up past your skirt, hooking over your hips to show it off a little.

"You look hot," Soyeon says, a puff of smoke curling from her mouth as she speaks. Chan is waiting at the mirror, staring at you.

"You look pretty." He clears his throat. "Not pretty. Like, drop dead mega hot."

"Slutty, cunty, I love it!" Soyeon squeals and jumps up, grabbing your hands and pulling you in a circle.

"It's okay?" you ask.

They both nod aggressively.

"Come on, let's go ask the other boys how they like it."

You're surprised at how comfortable you are already in the apartment with the boys. Jisung and Hyunjin are watching TV on the couch, and you gladly give them a little spin to show off your outfit. Changbin is in his room, lifting weights, and he whistles at you, telling you how much cunt you're serving.

As you and Soyeon exit Changbin's room, Chan catches you in the hallway, arm looping around your bare waist. "I have something for you, if you want it."

You tilt your head, looking up at him as Soyeon continues back into the living room, leaving the two of you alone in the darkened hallway. "Oh?"

He presents a long golden chain from his pocket. "It's a belly chain. I thought it might suit the outfit tonight. And also, Soyeon told me you wouldn't wear it unless I gave it to you. So . . ."

You roll your eyes. "I would have worn it. It's pretty though. How . . . how do you put it on?"

"Turn around," he says. You do as he says, and you feel him loop the chain around your waist, clasping it at the back. "I like it," he says, pressing a kiss to your cheek. "You really didn't have to dress up or whatever for tonight, but you look beautiful."

"Thank you," you say. "I figured Soyeon was right. I should try and fit in with the crowd there."

"Are you ready to go?"

You nod. "Ready when you are, racer boy."

PART TWO COMING SOON!!

this might end up becoming a series so lmk how you guys like it!!

[skzfairyyydreamz]

Gentle Love w/ Bf!Channie❣️

(listening to save you by rum.gold on repeat while reading this is highly recommended for ambience purposes). Masterlists

Genre: Comfort, Fluff, Friends to lovers

pairing: Bestfriend/Bf!Chan x Fem!Reader

a/n: This seasonal depression got ya gurl heavily craving some form of comfort so this one was a bit self indulgent. i’ve never wrote a headcanon before but i really enjoyed making this so i hope you enjoy it too! (please give me your feedback) reblogs are super appreciated. taglist is open so lmk if you would like to be taglisted!! Lastly Thank you sm for being here; sending lots of love and big hugs to everyone who needs it right now. 🫶🏼🫂

© Skzfairyyydreamz - Plagiarism is a crime. Do not repost, alter, translate or copy without my consent.

Bestfriend!Channie who settled with his unrequited love for you bc there was nobody else who could ever compare to you & nobody else he had eyes for.

Bestfriend!Channie who always had to love you from a distance bc he just didn’t have it in him to confess and potentially ruin something that was so special to him.

Bestfriend!Channie who had to sit back and watch you love shitty men who didn’t deserve you.

Bestfriend!Channie Who watched you cry over men who didn’t even deserve to be in your presence in the slightest. 

Bestfriend!Channie who helped you through each heartbreak bc there was never a time that he wasn’t there when you needed him. 

Bestfriend!Channie who knew in his heart that there was absolutely nobody that could ever love you better than he, bc he knew you better than anyone else in the world.

Bestfriend!Channie who finally worked up the courage to tell you how madly in love with you he was and always has been (with the help of your mother ofc; she saw the way he looked at you with the whole galaxy in his eyes and had always wanted you two to be together. Mama always knows best!) 

Bf!Channie who loves you with every bone in his body and every fiber of his being.

Bf!Channie who just wants to save you. Save you from all your past love traumas and mend your heart. 

Bf!Channie who helps you on your healing journey. 

Bf!Channie who shows you all the gentle, soft love in the world, bc its what you’ve always deserved.

Bf!Channie who makes it his business to give you the best of everything and stands on that. 

Bf!Channie who always puts you first. Before anything and anyone. 

Bf!Channie who does his best to learn and indulge you in ALL of your love languages. 

Bf!Channie who never fails to treat you like a princess, a queen, a goddess and more. 

Bf!Channie who will tie your shoes for you and slap your hand when you try to open doors on your own. “Don’t you ever reach for a doorknob in my presence, thank you very much!” as he rolls his eyes and shakes his head in a playful disbelief. 

Bf!Channie who will take off a week of work if you’re sick just to nurse you back to health regardless of your protesting. 

Bf!Channie who is always showing you off, rolling out the red carpet no matter who’s around. 

Bf!Channie who refuses to let either of you go to sleep upset at each other. bc he just cherishes you and prioritizes the importance of communication in your relationship that much. (he’s honestly such a king) 

Bf!Channie who is always calm and gentle with you; attentive to your feelings even mid argument.

Bf!Channie who takes interest in/ learns about all your hobbies and things that you are passionate about bc seeing you happy, makes him even happier. 

Bf!Channie who is so fond of your family and siblings. he has great relationships with all your family members and will never miss a single family gathering regardless to his busy schedule and idol life. 

Bf!Channie who hates to see you hurting or in pain. With teary eyes he wouldn’t hesitate to tell you “Princess You know i’d take this pain for you in a heartbeat if i could!” whether it be a broken bone, killer period cramps or even something as simple as a paper cut or a headache. His chest is heavy knowing there isn’t much he can do to comfort you and stop you from feeling any physical pain or discomfort. (i’m literally on the verge of sobbing, not me making myself emotional half way through writing this some one please send help 😭) 

Bf!Channie who is such an amazing listener. whether you are ranting about a horrible day at work or having a transparent moment about the current state of your mental health. He listens super attentively, giving you his undivided attention. Never breaking eye contact, He’ll hold both your hands in his occasionally leaving gentle reassuring kisses to your knuckles as you sit on your bed cross legged in front of each other. (this is so so so boyfie channie coded nobody talk to me im sobbing 😭) 

Bf!Channie who loves to take you on romantic night walks through the city. it has been your thing for years even before you two started dating. 

Bf!Channie who always invites you to join him on his late nights at the studio bc he just wants you to be near him. Even tho you are quite literally just there to sit in a reclining chair eating snacks while you rest your legs in this lap. You both are so content and cozy. He claims to work better with you around him and you absolutely adore watching your sexy producer man boyfie in his element. even if you are only staring at the side of his face for hours on end you will never turn down his offers.  

Bf!Channie who takes the sidewalk rule super seriously. there will never be a time where he will let you walk on the outside of him, always keeping you safe from any passing cars with his right arm around your shoulder, your waist or holding your hand while you walk together. 

Bf!Channie who is super protective and can be slightly possessive over the love of his life. always wanting to know your whereabouts and who you’re with; Sometimes even hiring a bodyguard for you when you are solo traveling for work or going to big modeling events when he isn’t able to attend with you. especially since you’re now well known in the public eye for being the significant other of one of 4th gens greatest! you now need to be protected and taken care of at all times (at least in his mind you do!) But You don’t blame him or ever complain bc you’ve been in pretty dangerous and traumatic situations before and thank god channie has always been there protecting you. He really has always been your knight in shining armor (shining armor being a black beanie and hoodie in his case 😂) 

Bf!Channie who loves your natural body just the way it is. Always reassuring you that he loves all your curves and the things that make you, you. Regardless to your insecurities he always has his hands on you some type of way whether he’s playing with your hair, resting his hands on you, absentmindedly massaging your legs while you two watch a movie together or coping a full feel as he walks past you in the kitchen; squeezing a whole hand full of booty cheek 😂 his hands are always on you. It’s so obvious how attracted and madly in love with you he is. 

Bf!Channie who loves your goofiness and all the silly ways you show your affection towards him. He loves it when you’re completely yourself. absolutely adoring whenever you’re in a playful mood and you just walk up to him to give him a quick bite on the shoulder and walk away with a smile on your face. he loves it even more when you’re really hyper and you do something unhinged like asking to give him a forehead kiss but instead licking his face and running away from him in a fit of giggles before he can catch you. (which he easily does a few seconds later) 

Bf!Channie who loves your pretty brown eyes. easily zoning out sometimes getting lost in your deep eyes mid conversation which always ends up with his ears and cheeks turning a bright red color at you snapping your fingers in front of his face and the sound of your voice bringing him back from a daydream.. “Hello!?? earth to loverboy!? are you with me?? ”

Bf!Channie who loves how soft you are with him. Always touching his hands or softly grabbing one of his pinky fingers when you want to get his attention to show or tell him something. He melts into a puddle seeing how soft your eyes are for him and how your voice is always just barely above a whisper when you speak to him in the warm comfort of your home. you walking up to him while he’s relaxing or doing random things around the house, pushing a few strands of his hair out of his face or softly grabbing his chin and turning his face towards you to simply ask him if he’d like you to make him a quick snack or bring him a cold drink. it unleashes a swarm of butterflies in his tummy and makes his knees buckle every time without fail. (he never understands how something so soft and gentle drives him so crazy, he’s clearly weak in the knees for a soft dom!mommy 🥴) 

Bf!Channie who is so enchanted by your comfortable silence. You two have created such a cozy and calming atmosphere in your home. Always finding each other at random areas of the house at any random hour of the day and enjoying each other’s presence without saying a word. Bringing comfort to one another simply by just.. being. You could be catching up on a new kdrama as chan would come and lay his head in your lap for a nap, intertwining your fingers and placing your hand on his chest. And without a word you’d grab the throw blanket off the back of the sofa and put it over him so that he could sleep comfortably. the feeling of his heartbeat underneath the palm of your hand instantly bringing you a unexplainable warm fuzzy feeling. this was just something that always seemed to happen naturally for you two. this part of your relationship was like a tacit agreement. The way you would climb into channies lap and rest your head in the crook of his neck after finishing up a few house chores as he just scrolled on his phone. it was something so soothing that you both thoroughly enjoyed but never spoke on bc you simply just didn’t need to. this atmosphere you created in your home was even felt by others around you. Family and friends always telling you guys how they felt utterly safe and comfortable every time they were at your house. And that was your favorite compliment to receive as a couple. You two were made for one another.. everything just seemed to work. Truly the best of soulmates. 

Taglist: ??? @hanniemylovelyquokka @goblinracha <;3

buy me a coffee?

[kittykat-25]

One Of The Guys: Part 2

Pairings: Hongjoong x f! Reader , ??? X f!Reader

Genre: Idol Au, Friends to lovers, Angst

Warnings!: anxious habits mentioned, pet names: Doll, Bubs

Summary: You tried really hard not to be a cliché, falling love with your best friend. How unoriginal. But when your best friend is Kim Hongjoong what are you supposed to do?

Now Playing: One Of The Guys -Jessia

Part 1 Part 3

You were walking along the streets with Wooyoung and Changbin, listening to them bicker about whose choreography was harder for their next comebacks. “Minho is killing me, I sweat more there than at the gym.” Wooyoung laughed, “you just want a chance to mention how much you go to the gym in front of Y/n.” You laughed,”no need to mention it Bin, it’s pretty obvious you work out.” You motioned to his shirt that was straining over his biceps. “Yah stop flirting. You’re going to make me lose my lunch.” Wooyoung said while fake gagging.

As they walked into the gaming café you trailed behind taking in all the things happening. “Y/n are you going to play?” Changbin asked, looking for places to sit. Wooyoung looked at you with pleading eyes, “Not today I’ll just watch. Harass Wooyoung.” You said sticking your tongue out at your friend. Changbin found two chairs and rolled a third over for you. The boys start playing and you are content watching, learning about the game until boredom strikes. You wander over to the food counter with Wooyoung’s card and get a snack and coffees for the three of you. As you make your way back to your friends you feel your phone in your pocket buzzing. Looking down at your watch you see Hongjoongs name flashing.

Warmth fills your chest and you hurry to set things down to grab the phone. “Hey Joongie, what’s up?” You say gather the coffees back up. “Trying to figure out this tempo. Hwa said to call you, I was getting worked up apparently.” He says dryly into the phone. You set the snacks and coffees down with the guys, “well Joong you need to take breaks. Just relax and go on a walk. See some nature. It’ll be good for you.” Wooyoung rolls his eyes, “fat chance of that happening. He only sees the sky when he goes from the car into the front door.” You smack the back of his head and Hongjoong scoffs “tell Wooyoung he can sleep outside tonight. And to stop stealing you when I’m in crisis.” You feel your face heat up, “you aren’t in crisis Joong. Just take a break and eat.” “Yah you neglected her and my bank account suffers for it.” Wooyoung called into the phone. “Woah you offered lunch in return for not letting Bin bully you.” You say back at the boy in front of you. Changbin hearing this broke out in laughter. “Alright this was unhelpful.” Hongjoong says into the phone. “Awh Joongie, I’m sorry.” You half whine into the phone. “It’s alright Doll, Woo take care of our girl.” He adds softly before hanging up.

“Your face is so red right now bubs- owh! What was that for?” Wooyoung screech’s as Changbin smack the back of his head. “Leave her alone Woo.” You smile at Changbin and sit back down, “I hate when he calls me doll, the one name should not give me as much hope as it does. It’s ridiculous.” You bury your face in your hands. “It’s fine. We’re moving on, Woo are you winning?” You said quickly to change the subject. Hoping the iced coffee cools your heated face down, and your heart returns to a normal pace soon.

You spend the rest of the time pressing random buttons on Woos keyboard until his character dies, watching his patience grown thinner and thinner. He had just pushed your chair away, sending you flying down the walkway when Changbins phone lit up. “Hyung!” He called happily into the phone, Bang Chans face filled up the screen, “having fun Bin?” He asked, his eyes light up seeing his friend so relaxed. “Yah if these two would let me focus.” He picked up his phone and angled it towards Wooyoung. “Hi Chan Hyung!” Wooyoung called while laughing at you.

You hadn’t realized Changbin was on the phone yet “Jung Wooyoung you menace. I almost took out a kid!” You said as you playfully shoved him. “You made me die!” He retaliated, “it’s not my fault you naturally suck at this game.” You said. You heard Binnie laughing and turned toward him, not expecting to find Chan watching this unfold as well. “Hyung this is Y/n!” You gave a little wave and sat back down in your chair, “nice to meet you!” You called over to him. Changbin propped his phone up between the two computers which put you dead center. “You’re Hongjoong’s friend right?” You went to answer when Woo beat you to it. “Supposedly his “best friend” but I’m pretty sure that’s me.” You rolled your eyes, “you’re more of this annoying little brother I was handed one day and can’t return.” Wooyoung gasped at you, opening his mouth to respond when Chan cut him off, “I understand that completely, you’re bold for spending time with the two of them together.” Changbin lost in the game never heard the loving dig his leader made at him.

You stayed on FaceTime with Chan until Changbin lost his game and declared Chan was bad luck. As you gathered your things to leave, you texted Hongjoong asking to go for a walk, hoping to get him out of the studio for a few hours. His reply came shortly after, “Joong wants to grab dinner with us all. Yunho is requesting Bbq.” You tell Wooyoung as you make your way to his dorm. “As long as Joong is paying I’m down.” You walked back to the dorm and found the rest of Ateez waiting for you. “I feel like this meal is a trick.” Jongho said as you drove to the restaurant. “Why would you think that bear?” You asked, he glared at you, hating the nickname you gave him years ago. “Hongjoong Hyung just came out and asked all of us to dinner. Seems suspicious.” He said cutting his eyes to Joong who was sitting next to him, typing away on his phone.

You’re seated at dinner chatting with Mingi when Wooyoung kicks you under the table. You turn to glare at him but he hands you in his phone before you can start to yell. His text threads with Changbin are pulled up. “Look.” Woo says pointing to the last text received. “Channie Hyung asked for y/n number. Is she alright with me giving it?” You looked up at Wooyoung then your eyes automatically go to your friend at the end of the table engrossed with Yeosang about the comeback. “He can have it.” You said tearing your eyes away from Hongjoong. “Oooo look at y/n go!!” Mingi says quietly. Not alerting the whole table of your newly acquired friend.

Everyone is talking and relaxing when Hongjoong and Seonghwa stand up, you eyes travel up your friends body taking in his power stance and find him already staring at you, a smug smirk on his face. He raises an eyebrow but controls it into the neutral face of the captain as everyone focuses on him. “Jongho might have been right about this dinner. Not a trick per se just a treat on me.” Everyone glanced around, “in exchange for what?” Yunho asked. Seonghwa looked at the leader then back at the rest of the group, “we got the comeback schedule, we start in two weeks with teasers.” Wooyoung glared at Joong, “and?” Hongjoong locked eyes with you then mumbled something under his breath. Seonghwa elbowed him and Hongjoong looked at his group, “we promoted for 5 weeks, daily variety shows, music bank, fan meets. All the usual stuff.” He took a breath, “then we leave for Japan for 2 weeks. Doing fan meets there and some different variety shows.” Everyone was silent, Mingi the first to speak up “so basically we have two weeks to prepare for 2 months of non-stop?” Hongjoong nodded, “ I tried to get a break for us between Japan but CEO wasn’t having it.” He sat down, hands in his hair. “I’m sorry.” “Hyung, you did what you could. But honestly this isn’t any different than any other comeback, we all know how hectic it can be.” San commented.

You sat there with your hands in your lap, picking at the skin of your thumb. “Y/n, you’re unusually quiet.” Seonghwa said. You knew he needed you to breathe some hope into them. Lighten the mood in a way. Mingi’s hands came down on yours, pulled your nails away from your bleeding thumb. You swallowed, trying to get the lump in your throat down. “You guys have done world tours, and came home to do a comeback then back on tour. I understand Joong and Hwa maybe getting too old for this but the rest of you need to buck up.” You said, smirking at the two oldest boys. “I know I’ll enjoy the peace and quiet while you’re gone.” You added. Wooyoung rolled his eyes, “please you’ll be calling everyday bored out of your mind.” You all laughed and the tension lifted as they started talking about teasers and new dance challenges to try. You could feel eyes on you, looking towards the end of the table you met Hongjoong’s eyes and smiled. “Thank you” he mouthed, you dipped your head in response and turned your attention back to Mingi and Yunho. Not noticing the way the captains eyes stayed trained on you.

You had just thrown your keys into the bowl by your door when your phone went off. You looked down to find a text from an unsaved number. “Hey Y/n, it’s Chan. I enjoyed meeting you today.” You smiled as you read it, texting back. You continued to text Chan through the night, talking about music and mutual friends you had. Laughing more texting him than you had In a while. As you climbed into bed. You sent one last text before putting your phone down, “this has been fun, continue this conversation tomorrow?” His response was immediate, “over dinner?” You felt your face burn up. Thinking of a response you received another text. “Sorry if I misread this…”

You didn’t even finish reading the text before hitting the call button. “Hello!” Chan greeted, “I would love to get dinner with you!” You said quickly. You took a breath, “sorry I basically just yelled that at you.” You said nervously trying to hold in your laughter. Chan was quiet for a moment, he clicked back on and you realized he had muted himself. “Were you laughing at me Bang Chan!” You half yelled into the phone. “I’m sorry you just sounded so nervous. It was cute really.” He responded hearing the joy in his voice. You ran a hand down your face, “my gosh I’m not going to be able to face you tomorrow!” You sighed. Chan laughed more, “dinner tomorrow, want me to pick you up?” You smiled, “yeah I’ll text you my address.” Chan yawned into the phone, “alright it’s a date.” You smiled, “it’s a date then.” You hung up and settled in bed, a smile on your face and thoughts about tomorrow on your mind.

Taglist🥰 if you want to be included in the taglist message me!

@vampzity @sanslovesblog @sundaybossanova @skzline @edenesth @owmoiralover @scarfac3

[astraysimp]

Forever and Always

Forever and Always 

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Summary: Changbin is your best friend and is in love with you(baby is down BAD and SIMPINGt) and everyone knows–because he’s too in love to hide it and he wants you to know 

: ̗̀➛Warnings: simp binnie, friends to lovers, pet names, binnie rambles(affectionate and cute), kissing, fluff, the other members teasing binnie(playfully),mention of Binnie’s family( like one time), fem!reader , band mates call reader Mrs.Seo 

(this is my first time writing a friends to lovers trope, pls bare with me <3) ENJOY!!!! :) 

Changbin had a crush on you–majorly– and everyone knows. How do they know? Because, he doesn’t care to hide it, and he wants you to know. You were his home screen, lock screen, top contact–after his family. Your accounts–Disney +, spotify,etc– were added on his phone, so you didn’t have to worry about going with movies, music or whatever you needed; so long as he was there. This did, however, warrant a LOT of teasing from his band mates. Changbin was constantly met with the “why haven’t you confessed yet?” Or the “jeez, down that bad, huh, bin?” from his members. He didn’t care, though, as long as he had you. And, that brings you to now.

Changbin and his members were in the practice studio, touching up routines for upcoming performances. Everyone was sitting ( or laying down), as they were taking a break. He sat on the long couch, scrolling through his phone, and texting you, before a nosy Seungmin plopped himself by his hyung, letting out a chuckle. “Hyung, you’re still texting her?Just confess already!” Seungmin spoke up, earning nods from the other members.”Yeah, bin, she feels the same! Just tell her!” Hyunjin piped in, before Jeongin giggled. “What were you texting about anyways?Your wedding?” He laughed before Changbin whined. “Yahhhhh. I was just asking how far she is from the studio. She’s bringing lunch.” He whined, going back to his phone , texting you that his band mates were teasing him again.However, you were already in the building, walking to their practice room with bags of food in your hand. Giggling, you managed to send him a text back. “Almost there, bun. I’m coming to rescue you.hehehe.” You smiled,sliding your phone into your back pocket and walking down the long hallway of various rooms.

Finally(it was only a 2 minute walk) you found their closed door, and you could hear them still teasing Changbin, other members laughing along. Carefully you pushed the door open, and were met with a giddy Changbin running toward you and 7 other men smiling. “Hi boys, I have food!” You smiled, as Changbin took a bag from your hands, setting it on the floor. You heard a chorus of “Hi Y/nnie!” and “Hi Mrs.Seo”s. Giggling you pinched Changbin on his cheek, taking a seat next to him, away from the others.”Hi, bun. You doing okay?” You smiled, reaching a hand out to run through his hair. “Mhm. They were just teasing me again, missed you though.” he smiled back, taking a bite of his food. Although you had hung out together yesterday, you couldn’t deny that you missed him too. “I missed you too, bun. Always do.” You smiled , wiping a bit of sauce from the corner of his mouth. “Are we doing anything after you finish practice?” You asked, taking another bite of your food, subconsciously scooting closer to him. Wrapping his arm around your shoulder, Changbin shrugged, “doesn’t matter to me, bunny.” He’d said, resting his cheek against the top of your head. 

You and Changbin, however, were so immersed in your bubble that you didn’t notice the other members leaving, or calling out to you.”Mrs. Seo, I’m going to the bathroom.” “Mr and Mrs. Seo, I’m going to get a drink from the vending machine, d o you want anything?” It all went over yours and Changbin’s heads. It was just the two of you. Feeling tired after eating, you had cuddled yourself into Changbin’s chest, slinging an arm over his midsection and put your legs across his lap.. “Mmmm, bun. You smell nice,” you mumbled, holding him tighter. Blushing, he pressed a light kiss on the top of your head. “Thank you, bunny. You comfy?” He whispered, rocking you back and forth lightly. Yes, you two were always affectionate, this seemed different and was definitely pulling his heart strings. Nodding against his chest, you smiled, grabbing his hand. “Mhm, you’re so cozy. I like cuddling you.” You’d said, softly smiling up at him and man…..the amount of love for you he had in his chest was going to explode. “I love you, bunny,” he said, pressing a kiss to your forehead, as you were slowly blinking, trying to stay awake. “What?” You whispered, slightly pulling back and cupping his cheeks in your hands.” N-nothing, bunny. Just take a nap,yeah?” Changbin said, with a blush creeping up his neck and ears, a pink hue tinting them. “ No no… bun, What’d you say?” You spoke up, thumbs caressing his cheeks. “I-I said I love you. Not as a friend, as a girlfriend. Bunny, it’s always been you, ever since we met and you started talking to me. You’ve had my heart and soul and mind. Geez you’re so pretty and talented and sweet and kind and loving and I love you. And–and everyone knows, the both know my family knows, Heck I think the whole knows and I’ve just been to confess because I don’t want to lose you,ever-” He’d rambled , trying to avoid your gaze. But before he could ramble any further, you leaned in pressing your lips to his. He was surprised but kissed back, one hand pulling you into his chest further and the other cradling the small of your back. A minute later, you pulled away, your forehead against his. “Oh my binnie, my sweet bun. I love you too, I always have. I’ve always been yours, always and forever.” You whispered, placing another peck to his lips. Smiling, he hugged you tightly to his chest, pressing a kiss to your hair “I love you, forever and always, my bunny.”

Too immersed in your love for one another, neither of two noticed the other boys reentering the room. The only thing that snapped you out of your love bubble was the cheering, clapping and giggling from the others. “Finally! Finallyyyyyyyy, we knew this would happen!” Chan smiled, sitting back on the floor. Han and Felix clapped.

 “Waahhh, congratulations hyung and Y/nnie!” They giggled before Jeongin and Lee Know piped up.

 “Oh my god, You did it?! You confessed?!” They smiled, patting Changbin’s knee, laughing. Hyunjin was the last to enter the room, seeing you and Changbin.

“Oh my goooood! It happened! We can plan the wedding! Wait wait, kiss kiss kiss!Does this mean we’ll get to be uncles soon?!”

You and Changbin could only giggle, pressing a kiss to each other’s lips, as the others watched, cheering you on. Sure, his band mates annoyed him, but he officially had you and your love to keep him sane–forever and always.

😊@cheeseceli hehehe here it is

[strayseraphine]

choice | one shot

pairing: bang chan x fem!reader

summary: The opportunity to work in the same place as your childhood best friend is a great, right? Unfortunately, it turns out that it's hard to control the emotions that have been swirling in your hearts for years when you're at arm's length. fluff, a little bit of angst, jealousy, friends to lovers, cheesy fic with our silly cute channie

The kdrama mentioned is called Tomorrow and the fic mentions about episode 5, you have been warned. Here is the song from the episode that also appears in the fic.

TW: menfions of suicide, death, depression

5 204 words

the one shot is also avaliable on ao3

bang chan masterlist | general masterlist | stranger things masterlist

Holding the handle of your suitcase tightly, you felt like a child lost in a crowd. You were breathless, and instead of slowing down, your breathing sped up and became more and more erratic.

What on earth tempted you to leave your entire life so far and fly to the other end of the world?

Then, as if on a call, a reason appeared in front of your eyes.

Despite the cap and mask covering his face, you immediately recognized him. However, not wanting to draw attention to you, you came closer and in silence went to the car, where immediately after closing the door you felt strong arms tighten around you.

"I missed you so much!" he muttered, snuggling into your neck.

"I missed you too, Channie." you laughed as you reciprocated the hug, smelling his perfume, which he had been using since you can remember. You didn't know it was possible to miss a scent that much.

"I can't believe I'm going to work with my best friend!" he said.

"First of all, you're lucky the boys can't hear it, secondly we won't."

"What do you mean we won't?"

"I, unlike you, will be locked in the office."

"But we will be in the same building! We will be able to spend our breaks together, I can bring you coffee and snacks!" he said excitedly with a wide smile on his face and squeezed your hand. You didn't complain about the fact that he didn't let go of you until the car pulled up to your new temporary home.

Two months ago, Chan called you saying that at JYP they were looking for someone for a temporary translator position. Since you were fresh out of college in the process of looking for a job, he thought you should definitely apply. Thinking little, you submitted your application.

Three weeks later, you received an invitation to an online interview, which resulted in a successful outcome and a contract signed for six months.

The experience you were able to gain working for this company was extremely valuable, but you were ashamed to admit that your main motivation for coming here was Chris. As children, the two of you were inseparable, but when he left Australia to chase his dreams both of you stubbornly made sure that contact did not disappear. When he came home on vacation you spent most of your free time together feeling as if he had never left.

Somewhere between playing together in the sandbox, sneaking out of the house for the late-night walks you used to go for when he returned to Australia during his teenage years and skipping lectures at uni just so you could spend the day and then the night with him, a strong bond formed between you.

In it there was something else to be found.

Something you both tried to ignore and push away.

Something that you were killing in each other thinking it was one-sided.

Something that you tried to keep in an iron, indestructible cage deep in your hearts.

Something that shattered the bars every time you saw each other.

The weeks at work were passing awfully fast. Your new co-workers welcomed you very warmly, meetings with Chris became your daily routine, and you felt more and more comfortable here every day. Keeping the promise, you spent all your lunch breaks together, sometimes joined by other members of the group. You quickly became part of the meetings. You even accompanied them during dance rehearsals and studio recordings. Especially Chan. Sitting with him in the studio until the morning hours and greeting sunrises together became almost a habit.

Today, however, you had the day off, while Chris had a full day of rehearsal for the gala to be held in a week's time. A strange feeling of emptiness and longing accompanied you throughout the day. You weren't afraid to admit that you were already used to his daily presence. However, you were afraid to think what will happen when you have to go back to Australia.

In order to focus your thoughts on something else after lunch you turned into a couch potato and started watching kdrama. Completely losing all sense of reality, you fully gave yourself over to the stories of the characters, which moved you to tears. You were snapped out of your trance by a phone call.

"Hello?" you said in a broken voice, not even trying to hide that you were crying. Unfortunately, the other side of the phone remained quiet and quickly hung up. Not caring much you wanted to go back to watching, but moments later Chan barged into your apartment without even bothering to knock on the door.

"Chris? what are you doing here?" you asked surprised still sobbing.

"What happened?" He asked. The sight of your heartbroken voice on the phone made his heart freeze.

"What?"

"We finished training, so I figured you were probably still awake and in the mood for something to eat, I called and heard you crying. What happened?" he explained quickly with a worried expression on his face.

"Oh god… Nothing happened! It just- It was just so damn beautifull and sad!" you laughed through your tears.

"Were you watching drama again?" he just sighed feeling small relief.

"Of course I was!"

"You almost gave me a heart attack!"

"I am sorry!" you threw a pillow in his diercion.

"Okay, okay, what was it about?" he shook his head, sitting down next to you.

"She died in a car accident, and he was someone who had to deal with a lot of deaths of his loved ones, his whole life, everyone blamed him for it! and he did nothing wrong!" you felt like your throat was shrinking. "His father blamed him for his mother's death because she died while giving birth, then when his wife died, her father also blamed him and he was in such a dark place, he wanted to kill himself, he believed them, that it was his fault!" you were ranting about character history, and he was just looking at you with a smile on his lips.

Despite the fact that your eyes were swollen and red from crying, he found something somehow adorable. Something pure. Something that made him want to hide you in his arms and kiss the tears off your cheeks. However, he quickly had to chase these thoughts away. After all, he was incapable of falling in love, wasn't he?

"And they show love in such a beautiful way here! Maybe I don't agree with "you are my whole life attitude" but in other aspects? They compare human beings to a tree, you know? People are like trees, And what matters is who makes the flowers bloom on the tree, which means your life can change depending on who you meet. At that moment she proposes to him, saying she wants to be the one to make the flowers on his tree bloom."

"A beautiful metaphor." he replied.

"Right? Later they present the red thread theory, which says that they are connected to each other and will find each other in each incarnation, which gives such a strange sense of hope! But I still think love is more of a choice than a destiny, which seems much stronger, because if I heard from someone now that I'm their whole world and their life doesn't exist without me I don't know if I'd be scared."

"How is it that you're one of the most romantic people I know, and you're afraid of such great confessions of love?" he asked.

"Imagine being in a relationship with a very toxic person, and when you want to get away from them they start threatening to kill themselves because they can't live without you. People in moments of desperation are able to go as far as anything, and love, despite the fact that it is very beautiful, can make a person very stupid." you explained.

"You are right."

"I am lucky enough to have some people who genuinely want the flowers on my tree bloom." you smiled. "You are one of them, by the way." you leaned your head on his shoulder.

"Yeah, you also take very good care of my tree." he replied without thinking. "Not only mine." he added quickly with a grunt. He began thinking about how other people feel in your company. About how there is always brightness and warmth in the room along with you. About how in his life the dark void was decorated with shining stars creating a beautiful night sky thanks to you.

"Who do you think your red thread is connected to?" you asked suddenly after a moment of silence.

"Mine?" he asked puzzled. Certainly not with the person I would like to. He thought. "Mine has probably been broken."

"I don't think so, in the show they said it only breaks at the moment of suicide. You are still here Chan, your thread surely leads to someone wonderful, as you deserve." You patted him on the knee. "Oh! there was also a very beautiful song in this episode, wanna hear?"

"Sure." He replied quietly and watched you get up from the couch to your laptop. He watched your every move, hoping to spot at least the thinnest red thread between the two of you.

"Can you focus?" Lee Know asked rolling his eyes.

"Earth to kangaroo! Where are you Chan?" added Han waving his hand in front of his face.

"I am focused, I don't know what you mean." he replied trying to defend himself.

"We have been practicing the same routine for an hour, and you are messing up the steps as if you were dancing it for the first time. " Minho squinted his eyes.

"Come on, give him a break, he is in looove." laughed Hyunjin.

"I am not!"

"We can see that there is something between the two of you, we can see how you look at her, you can't fool us, you do not look at a friend like that."

"I am not in love with y/n!" he said loudly, but without conviction. Saying those words caused him pain. Somehow saying that he doesn't love you felt wrong.

"But you know…none of us said her name out loud." said Changbin more peacefully.

"But-" Chan sighed and resignedly hid his face in his hands. For years he had pushed his feelings aside, but now that you were so close and had become an integral part of his life it was too difficult.

"Why you never let me bring her brownies that I made?" Felix laughed.

"Why do you always smile like an idiot when she sends you a photo?" I.N added.

"Let's just go back to the practice." He cut off the subject, knowing that the guys were right. Nevertheless, he knew that the moment he admitted it, nothing would be the same again, and changes can be scary.

In every job, no matter how wonderful, there are hard times. Today, some of your co-workers decided to take out their bad mood and frustration over non-functioning equipment on the team you were on. Although you knew that their bad mood was caused by the work reorganization, some unpleasant comments and remarks were particularly memorable and ruined your mood.

Due to a system failure that prevented you from working, you were told to go home before lunch, so you were not surprised to hear the sound of the phone at the hour when you usually meet.

"Where are you?" asked Chan.

"There was a system malfunction and they let us go home."

"So you won't be joining us?"

"What? Why?" Felix's voice came from the background. "But I made brownies! I brought them for you!" he took Chan's phone closer.

"Give me the phone, Felix!"

There was a commotion on the other side of the phone. You could imagine Felix running away with the phone and the guys helping him keep the leader at bay.

"Hey y/n!"

"Hey Seungmin, what's up?"

"Bang Chan misses you!" you could hear the smile in his voice.

"Tell him I miss him too," you chuckled.

"Okay, that's enough!" judging by Seungmin's mumbling and laughing, you concluded that the phone had returned to its owner.

"Talk to you later, bye!" he hung up before you had time to answer anything.

Since you had more time today, you decided to use it for cleaning, which always helped you to calm down to some extent, losing yourself in it and in the music from the speaker, you didn't know when a few hours had passed. Satisfied with your clean surroundings, you sat down on the couch, but after a while you felt a wave of fatigue hit you. With nothing better to do, you covered yourself with a blanket and fell asleep.

Unfortunately, this time the nap did not help your mood, and the sound of a knock on the door that woke you up made you even more upset. Covered with a blanket, you moved slowly toward the door. Then, as if by magic, when you saw Chan in the doorway, all your anger vanished and was replaced by…relief?

With a mournful whimper, you let your emotions carry you and without asking, you hugged him, cuddling into his chest. Surprised at first, he made no move, but he quickly woke up and you felt him embrace you. The familiar scent of his perfume created a sense of security in your mind that made every negative feeling inside you want to find an escape. Your breathing became more and more shaky as you fought back the tears that came to your eyes.

"Hey, it's okay," he said, sensing your stress. "Let it out, I'm here." His large hand began to slide up and down your back, caressing you.

"You are here." you muttered while snuggling even more into his shirt. He had the feeling that his heart was now on fire, but it wasn't the heat causing unbearable pain. It was the fire that slowly burns in the fireplace on winter evenings warming the house. Home. That's how he felt in your company.

"Come, let's sit down and you'll tell me all about it." he suggested, however, you still did not want to leave his arms. Selfishly you tightened your embrace without moving from your spot. "We can cuddle on the couch, come on." he chuckled seeing your reaction. Sitting snuggled into each other, Chan connected to the speaker and played your playlist with calmer songs in the background. It took a moment before you started to open up and talk about what had overwhelmed you today.

"I am so sorry." he murmured into your hair.

"I feel better now." you replied quietly.

"For real?"

"You are here so…yes."

A silence fell between the two of you but it was not awkward. At this level of friendship, shared silence was not something new or strange for you. The silence was broken by the sounds of another song.

"Ah, I love this song," he said. "I can't stop listening to it since you showed it to me."

"Well, I'm glad you liked it."

Along with the melody and the singer, Chan's soft and calm voice also began to spread around the room. You closed your eyes relishing the blissful moment, thinking you had found something good in this awful day. If it weren't for the nasty mood, you wouldn't have found comfort and solace in his arms.

How wonderful it would be if you could do this without any excuse?

"Do you remember when we fell asleep together like that, and Hannah took a picture of us and sent it out to all our friends and family saying that we were together?" he asked when the song was over.

"Yes," you laughed slightly at the memory.

"God, I wanted to kill her then." he also laughed.

"Why?"

"Uh, I mean its us, right? Best friends, how could anyone think we are a couple?" he replied embarrassed. This answer turned out to be a strong punch, which you had to take with clenched teeth and pretend that everything was fine.

The thing you didn't know was that what he said was just an escape from the truth. That day when everyone was congratulating you and telling you that you were finally a couple, he was afraid like nothing else that you would discover the truth about his feelings and that deep down he really wanted it to be true. Unfortunately, he did not know that you were on the same page.

Best friends, how could anyone think we are a couple?

These words haunted you for the next few days. No matter how good your mood was, they always came back ruining it instantly. They also pushed you to accepting a date to which you were invited by an employee from the marketing department. You were very often matched for joint projects, you worked very well together, you found nothing of agreement right away, but you didn't see this being blinded by Chan and your feelings for him. But since in his opinion you were just friends and had no chance to get out of this sphere, it was time to move on.

"y/n do you have any plans for tomorrow?" I.N asked, passing you in the hallway.

"I don't have until four, why?"

"We have a day off and we wanted to go shopping with Felix, why don't you go for a walk with us?"

"Sure!" the idea was good, you took it as an opportunity to buy something nice for your date.

"Cool, in that case we'll be in touch!" Maknae smiled charmingly, reminding you how similar he is to his skzoo.

"Sounds like a plan." you smiled back and returned to your desk. The rest of the day passed very smoothly and quickly for you.

Before you knew it you were already on your way to go shopping. Yeongin and Felix carefully browsed each hanger however you absent-mindedly only glanced superficially at the clothes. Your date was getting closer and closer however the less time left the more anxious and uncertain you felt. The fact that the person you were to spend the evening with was not Chan made it all seem…wrong.

How else were you able to move on?

Was it fair what you were doing now?

How would you feel if someone went on a date with you just to forget about someone else?

On the other hand, after all, that wasn't your only motive. In truth, you liked Minjun. He was handsome, kind, funny, you had many common interests, you really wanted to get to know him better.

"Earth to y/n!" the voice of Felix brought you back to reality.

"What?" you shrugged.

"Say hello to Chan!" Yeongin exclaimed happily, pointing his phone's camera at you. "We decided to show him how much fun we are having while he has to work."

"You are cruel!" at the sound of his voice you felt like you were caught in a crime. Not knowing what to do you awkwardly waved towards the camera, and then grabbed the first better dress and hid in the fitting room feeling embarrassed. What the hell is wrong with you? you thought looking at your reflection in the mirror.

"Hey, are you okay?" Felix asked lightly knocking on the fitting room door.

"Uh-yes!" you replied quickly, "I'm just trying on a dress!"

"In that case we are waiting for you to show up in it!"

The dress turned out to lie perfectly on you. The guys' assurances that you look good in it finally convinced you to the purchase.

When you got home it was time for preparations. Preparations that stressed you out even more. You tried to drown out your thoughts with music, but it was especially hard when a large part of your playlist consisted of songs by a band whose leader is the person you are trying to forget. The other part of the playlist was the songs you associated with him anyway. When you heard the first notes of Summer Flower you felt that you were in a no-win situation. If for so many years, being thousands of miles away, you had not managed to forget him how were you supposed to do it now having him at your fingertips almost every day? With a sigh you looked at the couch thinking about the moment when he held you there in his arms harmonizing his voice with the song.

What if he were here now?

What if now instead of getting ready for a date you were preparing snacks for a movie night together?

If you could spend the whole afternoon and evening cuddled up with him, holding his hand or playing with his hair if he laid his head on your lap?

Apparently, fate could read your mind, because as you combed your hair through the sound of the music a knock at the door broke through. Then you were greeted by the sight of Chris with a bag of snacks.

"I thought since I missed shopping together, we could make up for it with a marathon instead." he said dodging you at the threshold and entering the apartment.

Not knowing what to say you stared at him. The silence on your part prompted him to stop. Still not guessing anything, he noticed the brush in your hand and the knot in your hair. "Come on, let me help you." You went to the bedroom where you sat in front of the mirror. He hummed under his breath combing your hair with a slight smile on his lips enjoying this little moment. Whenever he combed your hair you laughed that he was giving you the princess treatment. That wasn't the case this time, which made him feel a little strange. "What do you feel like? a movie? kdrama? anime?" he tried to strike up a conversation. The fact that you haven't spoken a word since he came in increased this feeling.

"Chris…" Hearing your quiet, nervous voice he looked around. A dress hanging on a hanger, waiting to be put on, cosmetics scattered next to the mirror, an open jewelry box. It didn't take him long to guess that watching together today wouldn't work out.

"Are you going out somewhere?" he asked.

"I'm going on a date…" You said while sticking your gaze to the floor.

"Oh." visibly surprised, he stopped combing your hair for a moment. "Who's the lucky guy?" he asked in a forced joking tone, not wanting to make the situation seem even stranger.

"Minjun from the marketing department." you wanted to avoid looking at him at all costs. You were afraid of what you might see if you lifted your gaze. You were afraid that you would see disappointment, or worse, happiness and satisfaction that you were going out with someone else. However, if you actually looked at him you would see Channie's charming smile turn into a heartbroken expression. He could feel the jealousy building up in him, which he had to nip in the bud already. He couldn't let you notice, so he finished combing your hair as quickly as possible and left, explaining that he didn't want to disturb your preparations. You didn't protest, but something inside you was asking, begging even to tell you not to go anywhere and to stay here with him.

"I can't believe you lost to the guy from the marketing department." said Minho sitting down on the couch next to him. As soon as he left your flat he wanted to hole up in the studio however, halfway through a message about a movie marathon appeared on the group chat.

"Actually, he didn't lose because there was no competition," said Han.

"Exactly, if you had told her how you felt earlier she would have definitely chosen you" added Changbin.

"Can we focus on the movie?" he asked exasperatedly.

"Sorry hyung but this is definitely more interesting than the movie". said Hyunjin.

"You should go there and break the date." suggested Seungmin.

"Make up some excuse and call that you two absolutely must meet now!" I.N followed his idea.

"Can you guys just shut up and focus on the movie?" he asked more annoyed. There was a silence all around, which made him feel even worse. "I'm sorry…" he sighed. "I know I screwed up, but it's too late."

"We just want you to be happy." said Felix handing him a brownie on a plate.

"Even if it did work out…she doesn't deserve to hide and keep everything a secret."

"Maybe she won't mind? Maybe you can find a solution? Whatever is going on between you two has been going on for years, look how far you've come."

"Let's just focus on the movie, please."

Despite the fact that the guys had let the subject go and now the room was filled with laughter and loud comments about what was happening on the screen Chris couldn't focus at all. His head was filled with scenarios of what you can do now, did you have fun, did you let him hold your hand? hug you? kiss you? Jealousy bubbled up inside him but what could he do?

Somewhere near the end of the movie, his phone started vibrating with notifications, which he decided to ignore. Seungmin, however, annoyed by the constant vibrating, grabbed his phone to mute it but your nickname caught his attention.

"Chan you won't believe who it is." he said with a smile and started typing something.

"Who?" asked the unmoved leader, the only person he wanted to see a message from now was having a great time on a date with someone else. He didn't get an answer for a long moment.

"y/n didn't go on the date." This sentence made all the energy come back to him and he immediately snatched the phone from his hand to see the news.

c97b: why are you sending me tiktoks while being on a date? (your nickname): I am not on the date c97b: what? (your nickname): he cancelled last minute, so…

He looked at the phone in disbelief.

"Do something!" a shout from Lee Know brought him back to reality.

"This is your chance!" applauded Changbin.

Before he had time to think anything through his fingers were already running across the keyboard.

c97b: put the dress on. (your nickname): what? c97b: wear the dress, I will be there in 10.

What the hell is he doing? What will he tell you? How will he behave?

Thoughts and insecurities ate him from the inside out, and his hand was shaking when he was knocking at the door. However, when you opened it suddenly all the bad thoughts disappeared. All that mattered was how beautiful you looked now, and the struggle with the need to take you in his arms and not let you out of them.

Greeting you with a boyishly charming smile, he said it would be a shame if all your preparations for the going out went to waste. It was enough to make your disappointment with Minjun disappear. Enough for him to completely disappear from your thoughts which were once again completely possessed by your best friend.

Enjoying the last rays of sunshine today you went to the park for ice cream. You took a blanket with you to sit on the grass near the pond.

The meeting was not much different from the others, you were talking about everything and nothing, walking along the winding paths, watching the dogs playing, laughing how wonderful it would be to have little Berry here with you now and how she would love it here. The ice cream was the perfect cool down and sweetness, but Chan's showing dimples and his silly jokes were much sweeter.

Moments before sunset, you spread out your blanket and sat in silence watching the sky slowly turning orange and the sun disappearing behind the horizon directing its last warm rays at you, which you accepted with a smile.

"Thank you Channie." you said looking away from the scenery. Now you were able to notice that instead of watching the sunset, he was looking at you.

"You have nothing to thank me for." He shrugged his shoulders.

"For being there." You smiled slightly.

"I always will be." he replied without thinking.

"That's what friends are for, right?" You couldn't help the note of sadness creeping into your voice.

"y/n…" suddenly his face paled.

"What's wrong?" you asked worriedly.

"I think- I-" he began to stammer.

"Chris, whats going on?" The darkest scenarios appeared in front of your eyes, and panic rose in you.

"I think I am in love with you." he whispered.

"Oh my god-" surprised you covered your mouth with your hand. The shock on your face scared him more than it would have if your reaction had been instant rejection.

"I know, I know! But- I beg you even if you don't feel the same, let's just forget about it, I just had to tell you, finally after all these years, I couldn't hold it in anymore, but I understand that I'm just a friend to you, I don't want to lose you just because of some stupid feelings, hmp-" suddenly his ranting was interrupted by your lips. Sweet, soft lips that he had dreamed of touching for years. He had just fulfilled a scenario that had always seemed unattainable. Without wasting a moment he cupped your face making you cling even closer to him. The happiness that filled you pressed a smile to your lips that interrupted the kiss.

"If your feelings are stupid that means mine are too, because I feel exactly the same as you, you fool." you said quietly.

"I am a fool, a fool for you." he replied and kissed you again.

When you broke away from each other, this time hugging, you finished watching the sunset, which now seemed much more beautiful.

"It's gonna be hard…" he said after a moment of silence.

"Love isn't easy" you said. "b"But it's definitely worth it."

"How are we going to deal with all this?"

"We will find a solution, we always do."

"You think so?"

"Channie…" you took his hand, brought it to your lips and gently kissed the top of it. "I don't want to suddenly become your whole world, you won't be mine either, we both have separate lives, but love is not about the other person suddenly becoming the only thing we see. Love is about understanding that we both have separate worlds but we also have the desire to merge them. Love is finding a common path together."

"You are walkig hope, you know this?"

"Love is not fate, it is a choice. And that's what makes it powerful." You added again kissing his hand.

"You are my choice." he replied kissing your forehead.

No matter how crazy the collision of these worlds will be, he believed that as long as you are together everything will work out.

[classicalchan]

deal with it 🤍

pairing: bangchan x reader ;

tags: best friends to lovers, confessions, fluff, cuddling, kisses, comfort, some angst

a/n: please do not plagiarize my work and respect artists and their hard work!

text:

on some days, it feels hard to just exist. everyone and everything seems designed to hurt you but you persevere. you still pack up your things, leave work, and take the traffic-clogged route back home.

you still unlock your door and expect to walk into a cold house, with nothing but emptiness screaming back at you. you still return back to your unbearably lonely life.

but to your surprise, a pleasant smell from the kitchen wafts through the hallway instead. the house is warmly lit, not too bright, just how you like it, and before long, a familiar voice that rips through the glass in your heart floods your consciousness.

"y/n? is that you?" Chan calls and moments later, appears with an apron tied to his front.

you stare at your best friend, looking a little silly in an apron that's a size too small for him, curls a mess, his smile a million moons bright. you sigh. how could you not fall in love?

"when did you get here?" you ask, setting your things down and taking your shoes off.

"about half an hour ago," he says. "the boys had me leave a little early and i didn't know where else to go."

it was in moments like this that you mentally patted yourself on the back for giving Chan the spare key to your residence. you mirrored his smile, trying your best not to look too tired but he caught onto it as always. there's no hiding from him.

"you look like you haven't slept in weeks," he remarks. "is everything okay?"

you don't have it in you to smile anymore. he walks over, arms sliding around your waist and pulling you into a gentle hug. his fingers go into your hair and scratch your scalp as you sigh into his shoulder.

"it's a lot of things," you manage to speak. "but I'm glad you're here."

"i'm glad i'm here too. it breaks my heart to see you like this," he whispers close to your ear, and you shiver.

the two of you finish up dinner and sit on the couch next to each other, a show no one is watching running in the background. your chest feels immensely lighter, but you're still not nearly through with your feelings. you feel your throat closing up every few minutes, and you speak up before you could cry again.

"can we cuddle?" you ask. "i don't feel too good."

without a word, he shifts closer to you, pulling you into his arms and you melt. here was a guy who had always been there, no questions asked, no conditions put. and you loved him. you realized that every single second of the day. and even more so when he was around.

you feel his mouth pressing a kiss to your temple, rubbing warmth into your shoulder and you snuggle closer.

"tell me something nice," you mumble into his chest, his heart beating steadily under your cheek.

"hmmm," he thinks. "i like it when we're close like this. like, me being able to hold you and you just give up all your cares and relax."

you smile, turning your head up to look at him. his hair fell into his eyes and you reached a hand up to brush them away, fingers lingering by the side of his face. too pretty. he was too pretty.

"what else do you like?" you ask.

you saw his cheeks get flushed, scarlet spilling over his pale skin. his eyes searched yours, dark irises boring into your own before he let out a soft whisper.

"you."

"are you-"

"yeah. i'm serious." he spoke. "and you don't have to say anything, like i understand if you don't feel the same way but-"

you put a hand around him and pull him down from the back of his neck, your lips pressing into his. you had never imagined you'd live to see this moment, but here it was. here chan was- his lips softer than cotton, skin so warm beneath your fingers, his cologne flooding your senses.

he kissed you back and the world spun in lazy circles for you. you drew him closer and didn't let go until the two of you were panting for breath. he giggled, and you followed, the sounds of your combined laughter filling up the room.

"wow," he spoke. "i'd never expected you to feel the same."

"but i do. deal with it."

hi! if you liked what you read, feel free to check out my masterlist and request any prompts if you'd like through the askbox!

[skzfictions]

Just The Way You Are (Bang Chan Fic)

Summary: When your mother accidentally takes the wrong gift in your place to your ex-best friend's 18th birthday party, you decide you must go and retrieve it before he can see it. Of course, due to your luck, or lack thereof, this doesn't go as planned…

Genre: fluff, funny, high school setting, awkward reader, best friends to lovers trope

♡Pairing: Bang Chan X GN! Reader

Word Count: 6K

A/N: Wrote this based on Chan's current style. This was supposed to be a short drabble, but it seems I just can't write short stories to save my life. I don't know if it's any good… Regardless, if you do enjoy it, reblogs are always appreciated. Much love!

*

"Mission complete!" you whispered to yourself, triumphantly, as you lifted a little black wrapped gift box from a table full of birthday presents and examined it. 

Despite how small it was, the gift stood out amongst all the other brightly colored gifts that currently decorated the table thanks to you using black wrapping paper, Chan's favorite color, to decorate the little gift box. You had finished its wrappings with a shiny silver ribbon thus, giving it a nice sleek vibe. 

However, as you examined the little gift, a wave of melancholy suddenly washed over you at the thought that he would never actually get the chance to appreciate your handiwork or the gift inside because of the fact that you were about to quickly swap it out for another gift before jetting on home. 

You sighed, heavily, as you realized you really had no reason to be sad. After all, that was your entire purpose for coming to Chan's birthday party in the first place. Because even despite the fact that you had spent so much money on the present and had taken your time wrapping it to perfection, you had never actually intended to give it to him. Well, you had at first, but had changed your mind at the very last minute.  

Unfortunately, your mother hadn’t known this and therefore, ended up taking the wrong gift in your place to Chan's birthday party.

See, you and Chan hadn’t spoken much over the last month ever since you had found out that he had been secretly dating someone who had been a childhood bully of yours, even despite the fact you both had been best buds since your diaper days and therefore, he should've been able to trust you enough to tell you the truth.

The only way you had even found out the truth was after your old bully had stalked right up to Chan one day while you and him were mid-conversation and they locked lips with him right in front of you leaving you feeling very much like a clueless little child. You both had fallen out ever since. 

He'd tried apologizing to you which you did come to accept, but ultimately, it still changed your friendship because from then on, things had gotten increasingly awkward between you both especially as he drifted further and further into the popular crowd his partner rolled with while you, on the other hand, found your own little circle of friends to hang with, eventually. 

Today, you two barely acknowledged each other, except for the occasional smile you were both forced to share whenever either of you noticed the other in the halls of your high school. 

It was sad that you guys had fallen out so much over the past month to the point that you no longer even felt comfortable giving him a birthday gift, instead choosing to have your mother do it for you.  

But dammit! Your mom had taken the wrong gift! 

When she had bugged you earlier that morning about going to the birthday party Chan’s parents were throwing for him at their house, you had ignored her, choosing to stay in bed and sleep in, but you had mumbled to her something about taking the small wrapped gift that was in your backpack to Chan’s. 

The part you had forgotten to mention was there were actually two gifts in your backpack. One was Chan’s true present that you were too afraid to give him and the other was the gift card you had bought at the last minute to replace the true gift. 

You had wrapped both gifts and left them in your backpack so when your mom had come to your room and asked you if she had grabbed the right one, still half asleep, you just mumbled "mmhm" before rolling over and going back to dreamland. 

It wasn't until you got up about an hour later and went downstairs only to find the wrong gift sitting on the counter that you realized which one your mom had taken with her.

That’s when you knew you just had to sneak into Chan's party to take it back and replace it. 

It had taken a while to get alone in the house where Chan's presents table was so that you could carry out your little plan. You'd had to play cordial and greet Chan’s parents, even Chan himself, and then mingle with several of the guests in attendance before you could finally find some alone time to make your way inside the house to grab back the gift. 

Now that you had successfully had the gift in your hand you could just switch it out with the one from your backpack and then you could-

"Y/N?"

“Ah!” 

At the sound of the unexpected voice from behind you, you shouted, nearly jumping out of your skin. Simultaneously, you…

*Crash*

*Thump*

*Kerplunk*

…bumped into Chan’s presents table causing a few of them to topple over and fall onto the floor. 

So much for being discreet, you thought, hopelessly. 

Needless to say, you hadn’t been expecting the sound of your ex-best friend's voice to interrupt you in your quest to get back the gift thus, startling you and causing you to knock into the gift table. 

At least it was just a couple of presents that fell and not the whole damn table. 

Oops,” you now whimpered in embarrassment as you immediately kneeled to the floor to start picking up the few presents that had toppled over. As you scrambled to pick up the gifts, you felt Chan come up beside you to pick up a few himself. 

"I'm so sorry," you continued to apologize. 

He wasn't supposed to see you. That's why you had been trying to be sneaky about taking back your gift. Of course, you should've known better. You were never good at sneaking. Not only that but even despite the fact that you and Chan had not spoken in the last month it seemed he still had his "best friend radar" intact. How else would he have known to come inside the house right at the same time you had snuck in just to take back the damned gift? In fact, you had specifically waited to sneak inside only after you saw him surrounded by his guests and therefore he should've been too busy to even come inside, but here he was.   

Ever since you guys were kids Chan had always had a knack for finding you even when you didn't want to be found. He called it the "best friend radar." You wished you had it too. Then maybe you would've sensed him coming and then you could've moved a bit faster and got the hell out of his house before he could see you. But, no such luck. 

"It's okay, Y/N," Chan said as you both stood up and placed the gifts that had fallen back on the table. "I'm actually glad you're here. I thought you weren't coming. Or, at least, that's what your mom had said."

He was fully facing you now, smiling his dimpled grin that never ceased to help him charm his way into or out of anything, you included.

However, what he wanted at the moment you were not sure of, but with his gift still in your grasp, which you were now hiding behind your back, you knew you had to find a way to shoo him off so that you could switch out the gift. 

"Oh…yeah, well…here I am!" you replied rather awkwardly, with a nervous chuckle but it only came out as awkward as it had because you were both trying to be discreet about hiding his gift, while also not succumbing to his physical charms due to that smile of his whilst also trying to be friendly even despite the fact that the last time you both had a solid conversation was the day you had found out about his dating secret.  

In order to get him out of the house, you were going to have to figure out something quick though because in addition to the “best friend radar” Chan was also good at reading you. Actually, he was pretty good at reading people in general, but he knew you to the point that you were like an open book to him.

"Yeah, thanks for coming,” he now replied, his smile falling just a little as he glanced down for a second then back up at you. “So…long time no talk, huh? How have you been?” 

Chan looked at you expectantly causing you to avert your eyes when you answered in your attempt to appear more aloof. 

“Oh, you know…” you trailed momentarily. “I’ve been good.” 

Liar, your mind immediately responded which you ignored.  

“You?” you asked him as well as it was the courteous thing to do. 

However, Chan didn’t respond immediately but just stared at you for a moment causing you to fidget, uncomfortably. It had been a long while since you two had been alone and this moment with him proved it. It was awkward to be alone with him. Or, maybe it was just you.

Whatever the case, you were sure he was deciphering your every move which was why you were trying to appear standoffish but you didn't think it was working. 

Finally Chan answered, “...yeah, I’ve been good, too.”

His response was curt which caused you to grimace in response. The conversation really was getting increasingly awkward to the point of being painful when in comparison to the way conversation used to flow between you two so effortlessly just the month before. You wondered if it was always going to be like this from now on…

“Cool,” you said simply and you would have just left it at that but because the silence was killing you, you in all your awkwardness, continued to ramble on. “So then you’ve been good, and I’ve been good and everything is…good...”

As you rambled on, Chan's lips had begun to spread into a smirk, clearly amused by your awkwardness, but it soon turned to a full on chuckle causing you to look away in embarrassment. 

Well, at least your awkward personality got a laugh out of him, which actually did help to relieve some of the tension between you two, but only by just a bit. Regardless, you wanted to use that moment to get the chance to leave the room, so you attempted to start inching towards the exit. “Yeah, so, I’ll just…”   

However, as you were doing so, Chan cut you off.

“What are you hiding behind your back?" 

You halted, stumped by his question. Automatically, your hand squeezed the gift you were indeed, hiding behind you.

You blinked a few times not knowing how to answer so you feigned innocence, instead. “What?”

Chan pointed at your arm that was placed behind your back.

“Behind your back,” he said, frankly. “What are you hiding?” 

Damnit! You cried, internally. 

See, this was why you were trying to get the hell out of that house! Chan had already figured you out in the five minutes or so you two had been talking. Of course, you already knew you were an open book but damn! Five minutes! He had kept a secret from you for months but you couldn’t keep a secret from him for five damn minutes!  

That’s okay y/n, you spoke to yourself in your head as you felt your heart rate speeding up. Just try to remain cool. 

You shook your head. “Oh, um…I’m not-” 

“Is it my birthday gift?” he cut you off again.  

“No,” you responded a little too quickly and he smirked. 

Damnit! He knew. 

“Really?” he said, challenging you while grinning ear-to-ear. “Then show me.” 

You sighed, exasperatedly, exhausted with his persistence. “Chan, it’s not-whaaaat are you doing?” 

With his head tilted to the side like he was trying to get a look around your frame so that he could see what you were holding behind your back, Chan had slowly started inching towards you very much in a manner that resembled a wolf stalking a prey animal. You, in turn, started to move backward, tentatively. 

“If you won’t show me then I’ll just have to find out for myself,” Chan answered in a teasing tone, his grin now mischievous, still moving closer and closer to you while you kept moving back.  

As he continued to close in on you, your heart beat with such intensity you worried it might actually beat out of your chest! “Chan, it’s not what you-hey!”

Before you could fully register what was happening, Chan rushed past you and you felt the weight of the present that was in your hand suddenly disappear. Next thing you knew, Chan was raising his arms high in the air in triumph of having successfully stolen the gift from you. 

You cursed him and his lightning fast reflexes.   

“Damnit, Chan!” 

Immediately, you lunged for him in an attempt to try and retrieve it back but he stretched out his long arm in the opposite direction. When you attempted to reach around him in order to try and get it back again, he just ducked, switched it to his other hand and held that arm out, instead. 

He was so amused, he was laughing at the entire situation. Another thing about Chan was he absolutely loved to tease. You especially, which was something you both loathed and endeared.

In fact, had you not been desperately trying to retrieve the gift, you would've been happy at the fact that you two were now behaving more the way you used to before the big secret.  

“Chan, come on!” you whined now, exasperatedly, as you continued to try and get back the gift but he just ignored your cries. 

With a voice full of humor, Chan read the little sticker you had placed on the gift. “To Chan, from Y/N.” He shot you with an accusatory glare. “I thought you said this wasn’t for me?” 

You stomped your foot, begrudgingly. “It’s for another Chan!”

At this, Chan raised an eyebrow at you in disbelief, clearly not buying it, then the corners of his mouth lifted into a grin again.  

“Can I?” he wiggled his thick brows at you. You didn’t even have to ask what he meant by those two words. 

“Absolutely not!” you cried, vehemently as you went back to trying to grab the gift back from him again. 

Immediately, you felt Chan’s entire mood change as his arm that had been stretched out in the opposite direction, suddenly slapped down to his side. He had gone from amused to serious in a heartbeat. 

“Why not?” he asked with a confused frown. “We always open each other’s gifts, first, before anybody else's.”

He was right. That’s probably part of the reason he felt entitled to the gift. As best friends, over the years you both had made it your own little tradition to open each other’s gifts, first, before anyone else's on your birthdays. Even you had opened Chan’s gift to you, first, during your birthday which had been a compilation of his greatest songs he had made on his laptop. 

“Not this time,” you now said, placing your hand out for him to hand over the gift. Now that he wasn’t fighting you anymore about the gift and was actually taking you seriously, you thought that maybe he would give it back, but Chan just looked down at your open palm then his expression turned from serious to suspicious.  

“You’re being weird,” he said with eyes narrowed at you as he started to step back whilst holding the gift away from you, clearly not bending on giving it back.  “Weirder than normal.” 

You on the other hand had unknowingly started to follow his steps, still set on getting the gift back from him, possibly through force if he kept up this little charade. 

“And you’re being more insufferable than normal,” you shot back at him, fed up. “Give me back the damned gift, Chan!” 

But this little uproar of yours hardly got the reaction out of him that you wanted. Instead, his expression turned challenging again. His brows furrowed, and his mouth turned in a lopsided smirk. 

He held the gift even further away before replying defiantly, “No!” 

You winced at him. “That’s it.” 

You were done with his shit. 

And what happened next was a complete blur to you. One moment you were closing in on Chan just as he had been doing to you only a moment ago, and the next you were literally jumping his bones. 

As a result, limbs fell on top of limbs as Chan stumbled backward and fell onto the couch behind him, while you, in all the momentum, followed along, landing right on top of him.

Crashing onto the fluffy material (thank God it was the couch and not the hard floor) you used your hands to try and help control yourself from completely colliding with him by planting them firmly down on the material surrounding you both otherwise you would've knocked heads.

It worked, but only by just a hair because your face stopped a mere centimeter from his.

With parted lips, you both gasped for air, worked up from the unexpected crash. 

Neither of you said anything. The house was dead silent as you both tried to catch your breaths. The only thing that could be heard was the sound of the low hum of the refrigerator in the kitchen and each of your shallow breaths.

In this moment of silence, you couldn't help but to notice that even despite how long you both had been best friends, you had never been this close to him before. 

Well, that wasn't true. You'd both been up in each other’s personal space plenty of times before but all those times were platonic. 

For instance, sharing whispered jokes in each other’s ears that would get the other bursting in laughter or slinging arms around each other's shoulders like good friends often do. Hugs during celebrations or even just friendly hugs for no reason were a constant ritual in your friendship but this…for some reason, your closeness to him this time felt different. 

For instance, a weird tickling sensation began to develop in the pit of your stomach at the feel of his chest and stomach being pressed right up against your very own. With each rise and fall of your chest, his own moved in sync underneath you as you both breathed heavily against one another. 

However, when the tickling sensation suddenly started to move further downward to your nether regions, embarrassed at the new feeling, you knew you had to get off him immediately.  

But it seemed Chan didn’t mind you on top of him because when you had tried to sit up by pressing your hand against his chest to get leverage, he surprised you by quickly pressing his own hand firmly on your back, keeping you in place on him. 

Your heart rate skyrocketed at the action. In fact, you two were so close you bet he could feel it drumming in your chest. 

Swallowing hard, you gulped in response. 

"Chan, what are you-" 

"Why can't I open your gift, Y/N?" he asked you, breathlessly.

You sighed, putting your head down in his chest too embarrassed to look at him.

Because then you'll know, you answered in your head. 

"Fine," you finally gave in as you spoke into his chest. "Open it."

And so he did.  

Still keeping you in place on top of him with his arms, you felt Chan unwrap the gift above you while you remained quiet and unmoving. 

Once he got the gift unwrapped, he opened the box and you held your breath as you waited for his reaction, but as the moments ticked by and you didn't get one, you frowned. 

You looked up at him. Chan was silent. 

You watched his face, devoid of all emotion, as he eyed the piece of jewelry you had gotten him for his 18th birthday.

You didn't know what to make of this lack of reaction, but Chan soon cleared his throat before finally speaking. 

"How did you get this?"

You squirmed, uncomfortably. "Oh, I um…" 

"It's like, over two hundred dollars," he continued eyeing the piece of jewelry. 

"I know…I saved up for it," you admitted. 

Chan frowned as his eyes landed on you for the first time since he had opened the gift. 

"Why?" He asked, looking genuinely confused. "I mean, how did you even know…" He trailed in his speech, seeming to be having a hard time finding the words he wanted to say. He then sighed. "I can't believe this. I had been looking at this exact necklace a couple months ago."

You smiled sheepishly as you admitted, "Yeah, I know. I kinda had seen you staring at it in the window at Nordstrom at the mall."

Chan looked at you again. “You were following me?” 

You shook your head, figuring it was time for you to explain. 

“No. I was just at the mall with some friends, and you were at the mall, too, and I just saw you looking kind of hard at something in a store window for a really long time," you said, recalling the very day that inspired you to get the specific gift. "When you finally left, I went to go see what it was you were staring at and I saw the necklace and I just knew it was something you would’ve really liked. It was totally your style. Well, your old style, at least.” 

You looked up at him, running your eyes over his now neatly, fresh cut, straightened hair. Truthfully, you missed the untamable curls he used to sport that although he hated, you always loved. 

In fact, there was a lot he had changed about his appearance since he had started dating his current partner. 

He had taken out his studded earrings, leaving his lobes bare. He had gotten rid of his nose piercing. Had removed the black polish from his fingernails, and had completely gotten rid of his all black clothes in exchange for an ensemble that looked like it came out of an Old Navy catalog.

Today he wore brightly colored shirts, and V-necks. Dress shirts, slacks, and whatever new sneakers his partner bought for him were his everyday attire now. He looked fine, really. Chan looked good in anything, and you weren't adverse to him trying new styles, but you could tell that it wasn’t him. That he was only doing it to please his partner and their friends who could be super judgmental over things like appearances. 

You thought that by getting him the gift that maybe it would remind him of his old self somehow. That he might realize there was someone who liked him just the way he was, regardless, and did pay attention to what he liked.

When you guys were much younger Chan hadn’t paid any attention to his style, often choosing whatever hoodie he could grab followed with a pair of jeans, but as you guys got older his style changed a lot.

In addition to the all black ensemble and piercings, Chan had a thing for chunky jewelry like chokers, chains, spikes, and large rings. The jewelry piece you bought him for his birthday fit right in with what he would usually adorn himself in before his more recent makeover. 

The gift was a long sterling silver chain necklace with a polished silver skull dangling from it. The skull had a full grin, all teeth showing and the black empty sockets of its eyes were slanted downward giving it a slightly more menacing look. Lastly, was a slanted crown sitting atop its skull head.

The necklace had been a whopping two-hundred and twenty five dollars (hardly the most expensive piece of jewelry at Nordstrom’s but still plenty pricey for your budget). Luckily, since you had planned ahead to get Chan the gift for his birthday, which at the time, wasn’t until the latter end of the year in October, that meant you had plenty of time to save up money from your local cafe job. 

You had bought the necklace the second you had received your paycheck in hopes to make sure that no one else bought it before you could. Eager, you had even wrapped the gift immediately after you got home despite the fact that Chan’s birthday wasn’t for another two months. After that, the gift remained in your room on your dresser until Chan’s 18th birthday finally came around. But so much had changed between you both in the last month that you had no longer felt comfortable giving him such an intimate gift. That’s when you had bought a gift card in its place. 

Of course, switching out the gift had been a major failure on your part leading you to your current situation with you on top of him now. 

Chan continued to play with the necklace in silence and you wondered what he was thinking.

“You don’t hate it, do you?" You asked him, worriedly. "I-I could take it back-” 

“It’s incredible, Y/N," he interjected. "I can’t believe you even bought this for me." He continued to play with the necklace until his eyes finally landed on you again and he smiled that cute, dimpled grin again. "Thank you.” 

You nodded, feeling your cheeks burn, flustered by the sincerity in his appreciation for the gift. 

“Sure, no problem," you said nonchalantly although on the inside you were feeling anything but. "I just wanted to get you something special for your eighteenth.” 

As you admitted this, a confused frown made its way onto Chan's features again. "Y/N, why did you-"

But he didn't get to finish that question because the side door in the kitchen suddenly swung open.

“Chan?!” a voice called immediately following the opening of the door. On impulse, both you and Chan shot up from the couch. 

The voice continued, “Chan where are you, everyone’s…oh…” 

You stood uncomfortably as you were now looking at the person who was not only your old bully but Chan’s current partner. They looked you up and down, momentarily, before turning their attention to Chan. 

“What are you doing in here?" They asked him. "Everyone’s outside wondering ‘where’s the birthday boy?’ They want to bring out your cake. Come on!”

They ushered him with their hand to move quickly. 

Chan got up to move towards them. “Uh, yeah, sorry. I was just talking to Y/N.” 

“Oh," they glanced back at you but didn't say anything further about you. It was like you were barely even there. "Well, come on. Everyone's waiting.” 

They grabbed Chan's hand to take him outside but he turned around to ask, “You coming, Y/N?” 

You were so engrossed in the two you almost forgot about your own existence so it startled you just a bit when Chan questioned you, suddenly. 

With a forged smile, you nodded and followed a few feet behind the couple as they began to make their way outside. That's when you heard your old bully scoff at something. 

“Ew!” they said to Chan with a mocking laugh. “Where did you get that?” 

“What? The necklace?" Chan looked down at the necklace you had gifted him with which he was still holding in his hand. "It was a gift.”

“Really?" They said with a grimace. "But It’s so tacky…”

You frowned at their distaste for your gift but didn’t hear much more of the conversation from there as they went outside and everyone crowded Chan.   

Everyone sang him happy birthday, then watched him cut his cake and then watched him get smashed in the face with said cake by his partner, followed by friends and family. As everyone dove for the cake, Chan and your old bully ended up locking lips in a kiss that made your stomach churn, completely ruining any semblance of an appetite you had. 

It was then that you knew it was time for you to go. You had given him his gift, and even if his partner didn't like it, he was happy with it and that was all that mattered. Now, you could go home.    

You hadn't told anyone you were leaving, but just decided to sneak out while everyone was busy fighting over the cake. As you drove home you thought about your feelings for Chan. 

You didn’t know when your feelings towards him began to change. Maybe you had always liked him but was just the last person to realize it.

Regardless, the change wasn’t immediate, but your feelings just seemed to grow the more you and Chan drew further apart over the last month to the point that there was an ache in your chest whenever you saw him and his partner together, especially when they were locked at the lips like earlier. 

Sometimes seeing them together actually made you feel sick. Like sick to the point that you wanted to throw up. Aside from his new group of friends, that was the other major reason why you two would rarely hung out anymore. Because you couldn’t handle watching the two of them together when your feelings for Chan had grown so complicated over the past month but it was way too late to say anything now. 

It's funny how both your parents seemed to know there was something going on between you two, though. Even Chan's parents seemed to be surprised when you showed up for his birthday. 

Both your parents and Chan's parents had been friends since their high school days and had apparently always joked about having their kids grow up together, too, which actually did end up happening with you and Chan, so when you two stopped talking, your parents were the first ones to notice. That's how your mother knew there was something wrong between you both. 

After all, you and Chan had been inseparable since childhood so for him to suddenly stop coming around when he used to practically live at your house or for you to suddenly start staying in on weekends when you both used to hang out pretty much every weekend, the difference was highly noticeable. Still, your mother didn't pry but you could tell she was concerned. 

Regardless, you just reassured her that everything was okay between you both but just that you both had been really busy with prepping for life after high school like college applications and such. 

Speaking of college applications, you still had a few to fill out before the deadlines so you decided that that would be your main focus for now instead of on all your best friend drama. 

However, as the week progressed, Chan had made this decision of yours practically impossible to keep since he kept calling and texting you. You knew you should've just answered to find out what he wanted, but you really did just want to forget about him for a little while. Maybe if you could get over your stupid feelings for him then you could manage to have a normal friendship with him again, but for now you just wanted to be left alone. 

But again, no such luck because after being bombarded with calls and texts all week, by that weekend, you got a text from your mom saying there was someone at your house to see you. 

Who? You texted her back. 

It's Chan. She responded. Should I send him up? 

Chan? You thought in disbelief. You knew you couldn't continue to ignore him. It wouldn't be fair and after all his attempts to contact you, followed by him showing up at your doorstep now, clearly he had something very important to tell you so you figured you might as well see what he wanted. 

You quickly shot your mom a text that you would be downstairs in a minute. 

But before you did, you took a quick glance at yourself in the mirror. You weren't disgusting by any means. You had at least showered, brushed your teeth and then threw on something comfy to lounge around the house in.

Then it suddenly occurred to you why you were even bothering to care about your appearance in the first place when Chan had seen you both at your worst and your best. In fact, that was one of the best things about having grown up with him since your childhood. You never had to "dress up" to impress him. 

With that in mind, you left your room, then quickly scuttled down the stairs. Your mom told you he was outside on the porch, so you headed out to meet up with him. 

When you stepped outside, you saw him sitting on the little decorative bench that was placed on your porch but you almost had to do a double take once you saw him because of what he was wearing. 

He was dressed very much like his old self which included faded black jeans that were ripped at the knees, a black tee, and a black leather jacket with the usual buckles, and chains dangling from it that he always liked.

"Uh…Chan?" 

At the sound of your voice, he looked up at you and straightened up. "Hey, Y/N." 

"Hi," you said, unsurely, as you closed the front door behind you. "What are you doing here?" 

Chan stared at you for a moment as he seemed to be mulling something over in his head before finally asking, "You haven't received any of my texts or calls in the last week?"

You look down embarrassed and shrugged. "I did but I've been kinda busy…" 

It wasn't necessarily a lie. In addition to school, you still had your job, studies, and college applications. But you didn't mention the part about you using those as distractions to purposely avoid his attempts to contact you. 

"Right…" he said now, rubbing his hands on his pants like his palms were sweaty. "Look Y/N, I'll cut straight to the chase." He looked up at you from his position on the bench, while you were still near the front door. "I can't get over your gift." 

Pulling out the necklace you bought him from underneath his shirt, he fingered it before asking, "Why did you get this?" 

You didn't know what to say so you shrugged again. "Because I knew you'd like it. 

"But why?" He pursued further. "It's so expensive. Even I didn't get you anything that cost this much. Just that lame playlist of songs I'd made…"

"I love your songs, Chan," you whispered but he didn't hear it so he continued on. 

"...but this…" he lifted the necklace wrapped around his neck. It suited him so well especially now that he was in his original all black attire. "This is way more than what I could ever ask for…so why?" 

He looked up at you again, searching for answers but you kept your head down, not daring to look him directly in the eye. 

"It's really not that big of a deal…" you mumbled. 

"It is to me," he said with such seriousness that it caused your stomach to flip. When you stayed silent, he added, "Y/N. The truth. Please. I need to be sure of something."

You honestly didn't know what to say. You couldn’t just suddenly come out and say "because I'm hopelessly in love with you!" He's seriously dating someone already for heaven's sake! 

Because you didn't know what to say your mouth fell open but no words came out. 

Finally, Chan relented and leaned back on the bench before running a hand over his face. 

"I broke up with them," he said, causing you to look up at him. "It wasn't pretty but, uh…it's over. That's what I've been trying to call you to tell you."

"Oh…" Now you felt bad for having ignored him all week. You finally moved away from the door and sat down beside him on the bench. "I'm sorry, Chan. That sucks. What happened? You guys seemed good on your birthday." 

Just the mere mention of his birthday  caused your brain to draw up images of the two kissing again and you shook your head to get rid of them. 

Chan scratched at the back of his neck. "Uh…look, I know I told you that I've been good, but…I was lying. Truthfully, I was happier in the short time we were alone on my birthday than I have been since we stopped talking a while ago."

This news surprised you. "You haven't been happy, Chan?" 

He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. He then shook his head. "No, I mean, I've been alright." He looked confused now like he was trying to figure out his own emotions. "It's just…that's it. Nothing more. I've just been al-right. Not here or there…just," he shrugged. "You know, fine." 

He then turned to face you fully. "You remember when we were younger how we always wondered what it would be like to get in with the popular crowd?" 

You nodded. Neither of you were outcasts by any means but neither of you were ever at the center of your school's social circle either. It was just something you thought about from time to time. 

Chan continued. "Well, I'll admit that's part of the reason why I dated my ex in the first place. Everyone, even those who swear they don't care at least wonders what it's like and I'm no different. But honestly, it's not that great. At least, not with them and their friends. 

"At first, it was cool. You know, having someone from the popular crowd be into me. Plus, they were hot…" Chan chuckled to himself at having to admit this to which you just rolled your eyes. But there was no denying that their looks were a huge part of the reason for your old bully's climb up the social ladder. 

"But then the longer we dated the more I realized they didn't really like me the way I was. I had to keep changing things to please them…" 

As he spoke, he looked far off before his eyes finally landed back on you. "Those were the times I missed you most. But you were upset with me, so I didn't know how to tell you. I'm still really sorry, Y/N."

You sat in silence as you thought over everything he was admitting to you. 

"I never would've guessed," you said finally. "You two always seemed so wrapped up in each other and just because I wasn't friends with them, I still wanted you to be happy. I was willing to accept it if they were good to you." 

"...they were, but only to the changed version of me," Chan said. "That's why we were dating secretly, at first. Not only because I didn't want you to know because of your past with them, but because they were worried about being seen with me in public and what their friends would think." 

You scoffed at this. Now you hated them twice as much! 

Going into best friend mode, you immediately started off in a tirade about how awesome he is. 

"How could they be embarrassed of you?!" You exploded. "They're the ones that needs to be embarrassed! Not you! Chan you're awesome and you could do way better. They don't deserve you." 

At first, Chan had started to laugh as you went off but got quiet once you said your last words. 

"Who does then?" He asked, glumly. "What do I deserve?" 

You stared at your best friend, sitting beside you in awe of all his beauty that for whatever reason, he just couldn't see himself. 

"You deserve to be happy, Chan," you told him sincerely. "To have someone who won't be embarrassed to be out with you in public no matter what you're wearing. Someone who will support you no matter what." 

He grinned as he looked up at the sky before saying, "Like…you?" 

Your cheeks burned and you looked away. He was being cheeky. Teasing you once again. That's when he snapped his fingers. 

"I knew it!" He said excitedly at having figured out your secret. "How long?"

You looked down at your fingers as you admitted to him, "I think I always have, but just didn't realize it until we stopped speaking." You paused as you looked down at your shoes. "I'm sorry." 

At this, Chan snapped his tongue. "Why are you apologizing? You're sorry you like me?" 

You shook your head, before admitting frustratedly, "No, it's just…because we're supposed to be best friends and best friends aren't supposed to like each other…"  

After you trailed in your speech not elaborating any further, Chan was quiet for a moment until he finally spoke up.

"No, they aren't," he said, "And you know what else best friends don't do?"

You looked up at him, confusedly but was completely caught off guard when you felt his thumb and index finger lightly grab your chin and tilt it upward before placing his lips on yours.

Butterflies soared in your stomach. You had never thought much about your best friend's lips before, but boy were they soft with just the right amount of plumpness! 

When he finally ended the kiss with a quick lick of your lips, you swore you almost melted into a puddle right on that very bench. 

No wonder why your old bully seemed to enjoy kissing him so much. Oh well, their loss. 

He eventually pulled away, still with his hand gripping your chin, and you bit your lip before leaning away slightly feeling both elated and embarrassed at the same time. 

"Uh…yeah. Best friends definitely don't do that…." You started to ramble. '"Well, I mean...unless they're not best friends anymore but are actually dating now then I guess they-" 

But Chan just shook his head, laughing at your usual awkwardness as always before shutting you up with another kiss to which you just enjoyed instead of interrupting it with more rambling. 

Then suddenly, Chan stopped kissing you for a moment as a thought seemed to come to him. 

"So, I just have one more question," he told you and you nodded as you waited for him to ask. You had thought it was actually going to be something serious, that is until he asked you, "So, do you really like my songs, Y/N?" 

Now it was your turn to roll your eyes and shut him up with a kiss. Of course you loved all his songs, but not nearly as much as you loved the incredible guy who made them. 

[raethethey]

Exhaustion

Member: Bang Chan x gn!reader (if i made mistakes pls let me know)

Word Count: 5128

Genre: fluff, friends to lovers, slight angst

Warnings: swearing, breakdown, crying, mentions of overbearing parents, lack of sleep, talk of mental (and other) health, loss of appetite, mentions of food. (again if I missed smth pls let me know)

A/N: pls dear god i have not written anything in forever this was reread so many times but if there are mistakes, you didn't see them <3. no I am not out of my writers block but I challenged myself in the last few months to work on it just a lil at a time and I finally finished it. enjoy!! :)

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

You knock quietly on the door to the studio. No answer, but that’s expected. Chan is usually hard at work with the music turned up quite loud in his favorite pair of headphones. Not wanting to disturb his flow, you open the door and step inside. As if he has some sort of radar for you, Chan turns around. Upon seeing you, he smiles, the bright expression raising his eyebrows and cheeks, dimples deepening. You can’t help but return the smile. It doesn’t quite reach your eyes like it did his; he notices this almost immediately. You sit on the couch at the back of the room. Chan turns back around to his computer to pause and minimise the file he was working on before returning his attention to you.

“Hey, what’s up?” His voice is calm and exactly what you needed.

“Hey. Nothing really, just missed you.” You give him a teasing wink while lying through your teeth. He already worries too much as it is, telling him this would send him reeling.

He glances at the ground, a tell you’ve noticed when you know he wants to push the conversation, but he doesn’t want to push your boundaries.

He settles with, “Are you sure? Exams are coming up; I know you’re stressed about those, but you’ll do fine. You always do.”

“Heh, yeah finals are definitely gonna kick my ass, but really, I’m fine. Just need to relax is all.” You grin at him from across the room hoping the glimmer in your eyes is taken as exhaustion rather than trying to hold back tears.

He nods, swinging his chair back and forth a little with his feet planted on the floor, eyes never leaving yours. “Okay. Just wanted to make sure.”

He makes it really hard to not cry when he looks at you like that. There’s no judgment in his eyes as he starts to roll his chair toward the couch you’re sitting on. He stops when he’s right in front of you, hands reaching towards yours as they fidget in your lap ever restless. He starts massaging them, sandwiching them in his own as he forces your fists flat. He rubs them together and then separates them, taking a hand in each of his own palms up. He rubs his thumb in the center of each palm for a few seconds before moving to your thumbs’ bases and then the opposite side of the palms. Another few seconds and he drops one hand, using both of his own to pull your fingers one by one just gently enough to release pressure in your joints. Again with the other hand and then he grabs both again.

He sits there holding your hands and looking at you like nothing else in the world matters at the moment. His thumbs caress the back of your hands this time, not a massage, but just a constant feeling. A reassuring touch that has you sniffling.

In just moments he has you bundled in his arms as tears stream down your face. He pulls you onto his lap, shutting down any protests with soft hushes. He whispers encouraging words, random nothings, and that he’s always here for you as he runs his hand up and down your back, squeezing your arm occasionally. ‘It’s okay to cry.’ ‘Let it all out.’ ‘It’s just me and you in here.’ ‘You’re going to be okay.’

You don’t know how much time passes until you finally calm down, the hiccups subsiding and the shaking turning from tremors to shivers. His voice is barely a whisper you have to strain your ears to hear. The last tears soak into his sweatshirt like the rest of them. Your grip loosens as well, all strength leaving your body.

He rocks his chair back and forth again like he’s cradling a baby to sleep. The soothing motion almost gets you, but you sit up. He tightens his grip on you, scared you’ll fall from the abrupt movement. His eyes are wide as he looks at you.

“You good?” His voice is small like you’re a wild animal and he doesn’t want to scare you off by being too loud.

You clear your throat prepared for it to crack when you open your mouth, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you like this. I just needed somewhere to go to let it out, but I didn't know where else to go and I thought you were going to continue working, not look at me like I’m a frail baby bird who just fell out of a tree and I couldn’t stop the flood. I was just going to cry silently and look and pictures of squirrels and shit.”

The side of his mouth quirks down in silent disappointment. He says your name so softly, it almost has you bawling again, “I’m always worried about you. And I just get more worried when I don’t know what’s going on. You’re my best friend and I want to do what I can to help. Letting you cry on my shoulder, soaking up my sweatshirt, is one way. Listening to you rub snot into it is another, but for you, I’d bear it.”

You snort and wipe your nose with the back of your hand, now self-conscious about its running. The jab made you feel better, but only a little. Chan is good at that. Getting your mood to change like the snap of his fingers.

He holds on to your legs over his lap as he slides his chair backward rolling towards the desk. He plucks some tissues out of the tiny box next to his keyboard and hands you a few.

“Thanks,” you rasp out, “Sorry about your sweatshirt.”

“Hey, I’ve got like a million of them. No worries.” He watches as you blow your nose, a feat you think would have anyone else grossing out over. “Speaking of my sweatshirts, is that one mine?” He grabs the fabric of the sweatshirt you’re currently wearing near your stomach and rubs it between his fingers.

You look down upon the realization and sheepishly make eye contact, “No..?”

“Liar.” He tsks, no bite behind it.

A comfortable silence settles upon you as you finish cleaning your nose and wiping your face free of tears. He throws the tissues out when you’re done with them, shooting them like basketballs into a hoop that is the tin can on the other side of the room. He misses two.

“I’ll get them when we leave.” He wraps his arms around your waist, clasping his hands together, and leans his head on the back of his chair, “Takeout?”

“Yes please.”

“Chinese, tacos, burgers,-” He starts listing fast food options as he goes to grab his phone.

You interrupt already making up your mind, “Tacos.”

His mouth quirks up. “Tacos it is.” He orders quickly adding in an extra few tacos in case you’re hungrier than you thought. When the food is ordered he puts his phone face down on the desk again, “It’ll be here in 23 minutes. 27 if they don’t find the room number immediately.”

“Thank you, Channie.”

“Anytime, hun.” He pulls you in closer again, your head falling on his shoulder. Seconds tick by before you feel him take a breath and clear his throat. You can tell he needs to know what’s going on because if he doesn’t find out, it’ll bug him forever.

Before he can pose a question, you steel yourself and answer, “Nothing is going right anymore. My grades have been slipping for a few weeks, my parents are on my ass about it, work has been draining and a constant petri dish for stress, not to mention I’ve barely seen you these past few weeks because we’ve both been busy. I’m falling apart at the seams and it seems like no one is noticing. Not that I’ve been readily telling everyone the truth when they ask how I’m doing, but I just want someone to realise how badly I’m lying. Every time I say I’m tired, I’m exhausted; running on three hours of sleep. Every time I say I just need a vacation day, I really need an entire year off to recuperate. I’m sick of this constant barrage on my mental health, my physical health, even my emotional health. And the cherry on top? My only love interest said he still had feelings for his ex, so he broke off our weird talking stage thing, whatever it was we had, to try again with them. The universe hates me, Channie.” You play with your hoodie strings as you rattle off your list of problems.

You let him ponder your words. “That’s a lot. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m sorry I’ve been so busy as well, but even so, I always have time for you, you know that right? I don’t care if I have a project due at midnight, I’d drop it to make you feel better. I know you said you don’t want to worry me, but like I said, I always worry anyways. As for your grades, you’ll get them up, I believe in you. Your parents, as lovely as they are in front of guests can be assholes behind the scenes. Just ignore the messages that make you feel bad. Just because they’re your parents doesn’t mean they deserve your attention or success, You deserve better than a magnifying glass on your back. And screw whoever that guy is, he wasn’t good enough for you anyways.”

“Chan, he’s not a bad guy. It was just-”

“Nope. I don’t care. Guy can go step on a rake.”

You shake your head at his childish antics. “Okay fine, maybe I’d like to see that, but that doesn’t mean he deserves it. He really is a good guy. In fact, I think you know him. Who am I kidding, you know everyone? You know Jaehyun? Business major, great hair, dimples? He’s friends with that Taeyong guy that’s in the same dance class as Minho.”

“Oh. Yeah, I do know him. I didn’t know you were talking to him?”

“Yeah. I don’t know why I was. He was cute, but he’s really set on becoming this big CEO at a really young age. Like, before he actually graduates somehow. He’s not really a fun person to talk to unless he’s tipsy. And I’d rather not live my entire life talking to someone I’d only like when drunk because that’s a problem in itself.”

Chan hums in agreement. Something akin to an awkward silence fills the room. It’s an odd experience you’ve never felt around Chan until now. In all your years of friendship, never once has it been uncomfortable. The silence doesn’t last long as a knock brings you both back to the present.

“Food’s here.” He rolls to the door, you still sitting securely on his lap.

Upon opening the door, a surprised noise escapes all three parties. Taeyong stands there with the taco bags in hand. The initial shock wears off as he realises he’s here to do his job and not gawk at what is quite a surprising scene to him. He hands Chan the bags who sets them on his lap which is actually your lap because you’re still sitting there from your breakdown. Chan, only aware of the fact that one of the subjects you were just talking about is now standing at his studio door, is completely oblivious to the compromising position you’ve been put in.

You and Taeyong share a knowing, but awkward look while Chan greets him, “Hey, Lee Taeyong right?”

“Yep. That’s me. You're Bang Chan. I know ‘cuz Minho complains about you a lot after class.” He turns to look at you, “Hey, y/n.”

“Hey.”

A beat passes as Taeyong stands in the doorway. “Listen, I know it’s kinda awkward about what went down with Jae and you, but I wanted to let you know, that I still think you’re pretty cool and if we could be friends, that’d be cool too. And I’m also happy for you.”

“Happy for me? For having a guy break it off because he’s still in love with his ex?”

“Well not that part, but you bounced back pretty well. You and Chan look cute together by the way. We’ve all been wondering when that was gonna happen and I guess it took Jae to make it happen, huh? Anyways, gotta go! Bye!” Before either of you could respond to that, he bounds off to make his next delivery.

Chan gently shuts the door as Taeyong’s words flow through your minds, the vibrations and image seeming to sear themselves in your brains.

He rolls back to the desk inch by inch, but before he gets there, you spring up, taco bags in hand. It snaps him out of shock and he puts his hands out to either side of you in case he needs to stabilise you or catch the food.

“He thinks we’re dating,” Is all you say. No other way to segue into the conversation but that. “Why does he think we’re dating? I mean I know I was sitting on your lap, but he said, ‘we’ve all been wondering when that was gonna happen.’” You place the bags on the small coffee table and start pacing, “What does that mean? Does everyone think we’re dating? Does it look like we’re dating? Is that the real reason Jae broke it off? What if there is no ex? I’ve never actually seen him around with anyone, what if it was just a lie because he thought we had something going on? What if every time I’ve ever had a love interest they backed off because of you.” You point a wagging finger at him. “Every crush in high school, even middle school! What if they’ve always thought we were together.” You throw your hands up, “Chan, say something!” Unknowing of the turmoil you’re putting him through, Chan just shrugs. Unable to answer any of your questions.

He may have very well been at fault for all those potential partners backing off. It’s not like he said anything to them, but maybe he was just a bit obvious with the way he acts around you. Maybe not you because this information seems to be new to you. He thought you knew people suspected you were together. From an outsider’s view (and he’s had many tell him their point of view. See: Changbin, Jisung, Minho, etc.), it’s difficult to know the truth based on what they see.

You’re always joined at the hip, his arm around your waist or shoulder, your arms around his neck in a tight embrace, holding hands when it’s cold. It’s hard to differentiate flirting with teasing from a decade-old friendship. And not to mention he is in love with you.

“I thought you knew.” Is all he says.

You stop pacing back and forth and look at him, “What? You thought I knew what? That people seriously think we’re together? Chan, we’re just best friends.”

He flinches. He knows you didn’t mean to say it as a rejection, but it still hurts hearing it. He hates saying it himself.

“Baby, is it really that big of a deal? We’re close. It happens.” The nickname slips out.

“THAT! See that’s why people think we’re dating. Because we act like it! We hold hands, you kiss my cheek, you call me baby and hun and sweetie.” You tick each reason off on your fingers. “No one believes me when I say we aren’t. I have to tell everyone! I can’t have my future partners thinking I’m dating my best friend. I’ll get nowhere with them and then they’ll think I’m trying to cheat on you with them.”

“I’m sorry. Do you want space? So people don’t see us together. If they don’t believe we were never together, we’ll have to act like we broke up.” He can’t believe what he’s saying.

“No, I want you to be next to me when I tell people so you can back me up. This rumor has probably spilled into the next city over. I’ll tell Bin and Sung to spread it as well. If anyone asks them, I’ll have them say, ‘No they aren’t dating. Never have been. If you don’t believe me, I have orders to call them and confirm.’ Does that sound good? We can nip it in the bud faster if we cover more ground.”

He tries not to sound like a kicked puppy when he says, “Yeah, sure okay.” He turns his chair around to grab napkins and plastic plates from under his desk. He stashed them there because of all the late nights he and the rest of 3Racha have had there. He rolls to the coffee table and starts pulling the food out of the bag as you plop on the couch to begin eating.

When you’re close to finishing up, Chan wipes his face and hands with his napkin.

“Done already? You usually eat a lot more than that.” He only had three tacos, same as you.

“Yeah, don’t really have an appetite right now.” He spins his chair around and boots up his computer, “I’m gonna work a little more on my project, feel free to stay if you want. Or leave, it’s kinda late already.”

You stare at the back of his head. Ever since Taeyong left, he’s been really quiet. You ate in total silence. Usually, it’s more filled with laughter and short stories about stupid things your friends did. You glance at the clock, it’s only 9:00 pm. The studio closes at 10:00.

Maybe you overreacted about the dating news. Maybe it really isn’t that big of a deal. You like your dynamic with Chan. It’s calm, comfortable. You don’t think you could live without him by your side. The small pecks he leaves on the top of your head ground you sometimes, and he’s always a human heater in the cold, you don’t want to have to give up holding his hands. The nicknames do funky things to your brain, but you like them. It means he’s comfortable around you too. And even if you’re not dating, you know you both care so much about the other. Over ten years of friendship will do that to people.

You can see why your classmates and random people on the street would think you were in love. You also haven’t been able to prove it, but you swear you’ve caught him staring at you with a certain look countless times. You’ve tried to get your friends to see for you, but they say he’s looking at you like he always does, there’s nothing odd about it.

Still, going around making sure everyone knows you aren’t dating is the best option in your mind. It’ll help you set reality apart from your deepest desires.

You’ve been in love with Chan for as long as you can remember. Years of pining after him have created a sore spot in your heart. To hear that people think this about you when it’s all you’ve ever wanted, knowing it’ll never come true is like tearing the scab off just to have it bleed more.

You start packing up the food you didn’t eat and throw away the garbage in silence. Awkwardness once again festering in the air. When you’re done cleaning up you lay on the couch taking out your phone. You don’t know when you fell asleep but when you wake up, there’s a blanket on top of you, one from the stash he keeps under the couch. Even if he’s busy he finds some way to take care of you. Some way to make your heart flutter. It aches.

You pull the blanket up to your chin, rolling to the side. You can see the silhouette of his head over his chair, the lights turned off in the studio save for the bright computer screen. His headphones fit snuggly over his ears, blocking out any sounds.

You think about what happened tonight. Your breakdown, him holding you, seeing your not-quite-ex’s friend, your outburst. And his reaction. You recall his flinch when you said you were just friends. He flinched for god’s sake. And he looked completely torn in two for the next half hour before going back to his project.

So you definitely overreacted. In trying so hard to draw the line between what you have and what you want, you created a barrier between you and the person you care about the most. You stated what you thought should happen to keep the line to protect yourself not taking in Chan’s opinion or anything. This rumor involves you both, the decision on what to do about it probably should too.

Standing up, you pull the blanket around your shoulders like a cape and walk to stand behind him just to watch him work. His fingers slide over the keyboard with practiced ease, his right hand flitting between it and the mouse. You see the time in the bottom right-hand corner: 9:38pm. When you bend to place your hands on your knees, you hear his breath catch next to you. You glance at his face, catching his eyes on you. You hold the eye contact.

“Are you okay?” It’s a whisper. One you know he can’t hear. His eyes jump to your lips and you repeat yourself, “Are you okay?”

He takes a breath, nods, and turns right back to his project.

You huff, bringing your bottom lip between your teeth. So much for a plan, right? You turn to go back to the couch, but an arm stops you. You look down at the hand resting on your elbow and then at Chan. His gaze is directed at his knees. You turn to him waiting, his hand falling to your hip.

He licks his lips, you see his adam’s apple bob, his jaw clench. His hand that isn’t stopping you from leaving rubs his face for a second before resting on his chin, knuckles on his lower lip.

“Channie?” You can tell he heard you even with his headphones on when he squeezes your side. He slips his headphones off and rolls a little bit away from the desk still gripping your side like a lifeline.

“I’m sorry.” He starts.

“No, Channie, you have nothing to be sorry about. It’s all me. I think I overreacted over Taeyong’s words and that hurt you. I wasn’t thinking about your point of view. I mean truthfully I wasn’t even thinking about my own point of view. I just…” You sigh. 

The next few words you say, you’ll have to think carefully. If you confess to your true feelings it may scare him off or worse, disgust him. But this is Chan you’re talking to. Your best friend in the whole world, the most precious person on earth to you. There’s no way he’d hate you, right? Maybe let you down slowly, but he wouldn’t ask you to never speak to or see him again. He couldn’t possibly be that cruel.

He takes your hands in his. You had started wringing them and twisting your fingers in what looks like uncomfortable angles. “Just what?” He asks. His eyes are on you now, completely focused on you and what you’re trying to get yourself to say. They’re soft and open. He’s quietly telling you it’s okay to be vulnerable around him. He’ll always be here for you and there’s nothing to be scared about.

That’s all you needed. “I just don’t know how to go about pretending not to know that everyone we know thinks we’re dating when we’re not and it’s all I’ve ever wanted for a while now.” Your eyes start to wander around the room. If you look at him now, you’ll never be able to finish. “I mean I don’t know when I started to see you differently, it may have been forever, but we’ve always been best friends. 

“I didn’t think the way I loved you was anything other than that until I started talking to Jaehyun. And after we stopped I just had some time to really think about what I wanted and… Channie I want you. But I know I can’t have you because we are just best friends and you’ll never see me that way. Not in a million years and that just tore my heart. 

“So I guess I was trying to separate reality from fantasy when I started spewing on about how we have to make sure everyone knows we aren’t together because if anyone can think there’s something between us, it’s gonna be me. And I should’ve taken your opinion into count when I started planning on how to tell people. I was just scared. I’m really, so sorry, Channie. Please forgive me.”

After your monologue, you finally look at him. There’s shock, amusement, maybe even some sadness, and something else you can’t quite place on his face. The mixed emotions are jumbled together as he just stares at you. He opens his mouth to form words, but closes it again. You left him utterly speechless. Whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing, you don’t know. You won’t know unless he says something. Anything.

“Channie?” You start to worry your lip. It’s already raw, showing how much stress you’ve been under for quite some time. The fact that you just confessed to your best friend is only adding to the situation.

Before you can think to run away or try changing the subject, his lip twitches. And then a smile grows, larger, wider until you feel his face might split from the intensity of his grin. He still can’t form words, but he tugs on your arm just a bit, pulling you down onto his familiar lap.

Your faces are close, close enough to see the slight blush bloom across his soft features worn my exhaustion. Finally, he speaks, “I cannot explain how utterly happy I am to hear you say any of that. I may have also overreacted to your reaction and for that, I still apologise, but knowing what I know now I think my reaction was completely normal for having someone you love tell you so vehemently that you’re just best friends. To hear that and think that’s all you’ll ever be when you’ve wanted more for so long. To think that there wasn’t even a possibility of more.

But there is. We were both just terrified.”

Now it’s your turn to be gobsmacked. Your jaw hits the floor and he starts giggling. Whether it’s because you look hilariously cute shell-shocked, or because he’s filled with euphoria he doesn’t know.

“Someone you what?” Your eyes flit back and forth searching for an answer in his shining eyes.

It’s written so clearly you’re surprised you hadn’t seen it before. “Love. Someone I love, y/n.”

“How long?”

“Years. Possibly since I met you.”

“Channie we were children. Diapers and binkies while our moms had tea and talked shit about our neighbors.”

He smirks, “Then, yeah, definitely since we met. But I only realised it a few years ago; in highschool. It was that super cliche teenage rom-com scene when you walked into prom looking like a fairytale and I thought I shit myself and then imploded.” He shoves his hands together imitating a can being crushed.

Your hands fly to your hair, carding through it. “Holy fuck. Holy cow. I can’t believe it. You let me date the worst people when I could’ve been dating you, you bastard!”

“Hey! Like we’ve established I was fucking terrified of losing my best friend, okay? And you were too! Also, all those people were solely your choice, I did nothing but try to befriend them for you.” He grabs your finger that jabbed at his chest and turns it back toward you.

“You should’ve punched them in the face and whisked me away.” Slipping the rest of your fingers into his grasp, you clasp his hand and squeeze.

He squeezes right back.

Cocking your head to the side, you sigh. “Now what? We’re here now. Both in the know, mutually agreeing.”

“Now? Now we tell Hannie he owes Binnie $20 because you confessed first.”

You furrow your brow, “They bet on us? Actually, you know what, that is entirely unsurprising. But no, I mean what’s next? What are we?”

He smiles that same smile you fell in love with all that time ago, dimples and all. “We’re Channie and y/n as we’ve always been. Best friends who love each other; who would go to the ends of the earth for one another. We cuddle, hold hands, call each other pet names, and now we go on dates. Kiss? More?” He blushes again, the tips of his ears redder than a tomato.

You take his flushed face into your hands feeling the heat roll off them. Whispering, you lean in closer, “I like the idea of that. But not right now. You’re exhausted and we need sleep. We should probably get out of here soon to make that happen.”

He pouts.

“Oh, stop that. If we’re quick enough we can probably catch the bus back to my place. Then we can kiss as much as you want.”

He exaggerates his pout even more looking like a kicked puppy.

You can’t help but fawn over him silently. Rolling your eyes playfully, you swoop in and peck him on the lips. It’s short, not even a second long, but it has him chasing for more when you pull away. You’re tempted to give him what he wants now, but it’s been a long day and you’d rather not have your first real kiss in a public recording room that smells like tacos and feet. You tell him as much when you stand up and start gathering your items to leave.

He acquiesces, saving his project and logging out. When you’re both ready to leave, he snatches up your hand and kisses the back of it as you walk out of the room.

The bus ride seems longer than usual or you’re just anxious to get back home. Chan has stayed over plenty of times, cuddling all throughout the night, but this time it’s different. Tomorrow promises new adventures with the man beside you and you can’t wait to start them.

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

Bonus:

“I promise it’s not just the exhaustion talking, but you look absolutely radiant right now.”

“Baby, I’m wearing elf-on-the-shelf pjs with a toy story t-shirt that I’ve had since I was 10.”

“As I said, radiant.”

“Love you too, Channie.”

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

[featjunranghae]

Idiots in Love - Han Jisung

Han Jisung X FemReader

summary: the title says it all.

No warning? Not proof read.

__________________________

"You're so cute."

"huh?"

"I said you look like a fruit."

"What in the world Han Jisung." yn laughed slapping his arms as she sat beside him on the sofa.

Saturdays were meant for the boys. That's what Han firmly believes in. But when his crush/ girl best friend/ situation ship calls him on the phone for 'emergency' purposes (which somehow involves watching a movie) the boys are no longer the priority.

"You still haven't told me why you called."

"You're trying to change the topic-"

"I'll leave your ass alone if you try to bully me."

yn couldn't help but grin snuggling closer to him, hands wrapped around his biceps and head on his shoulder. "I just wanted to see your stupid face."

"Excuse me- Stupid? I'm gorgeous." Han scoffed pretending to push her off. "Changbin was right bros before hoes. I Shouldn't have come to your aid."

"You know I know that you love hanging out with me." Yn said picking up the tv remote. "You love hanging out with me. And so do i. So here Rewatching Shrek for the- I don't even know how many times."

Han didn't argue as he stared at her. Yn had been one of his oldest friends. They met back in middle school and stuck together since. They've watched each other grow through their lowest and highest points.

And after everything, Han couldn't deny that he wanted them to be more than just friends. Friends don't hold each other most nights while sleeping. Friends don't look at each other the way he looked at yn.

But the problem was. He couldn't confess. He tried so many times over the years to subtly let yn know. But she never took the hint. It was like she wanted him to spell it out for her.

"You're thinking." Yn interrupted his train of thoughts.

"I am."

"It's kinda unusual since Chan does most of the thinking for us all."

Han said nothing continuing to stare at her. His lips curved up at the corner slightly. "I know." He said.

yn paused the movie turning back to him "Seriously Sungie, are you okay?" She asked. "You look lost."

Jisung sighed shaking his head turning around. This was another one of those moments when he wanted to confess. He was here at yn's house. She was in his arms. If he got rejected, then this would be over. He would lose yn. That was the only thing that stopped him from ever saying anything.

His feelings were not worth it. It was not worth it. He'd rather never confess than lose yn.

His bandmates seem to disagree. Specially Hyunjin. "Dude. I'm telling you. I get the vibe that yn likes you too. Go for it."

But Hyunjin was a hopeless romantic. And listening to his advice would be a bad decision for him.

"Jisung." Yn called out again.

"Nothing... I'm just tired from practice."

"You looked fine 20 min-"

"yn. Really it's nothing."

"It's not nothing if its bothering you."

"last night I was bothered thinking about the gold fish I lost when I was five. How will you say that it's not nothing?."

yn knew Han like that back of her hand. He always had a tough time vocalising his feelings. He always considered his thoughts as pointless. "You can tell me later. It's okay." She put her head back on his shoulder.

"I can't."

"Why?" She asked looking up at her. "Does it involve me somehow?"

Han nodded, kissing the top of her head. "It involves me? Wait... Are you actually sad cause I called you today..." Yn pulled back. "I know you were hanging out with the boys but I was just-"

"And they say I'm the overthinker." Han laughed. "I don't hate you yn. It's nothing... I just came up with some lyrics."

"Stop lying."

"What makes you think so?"

"You get crazy when you come up with a song. You're scrambling around for a piece of paper and pen. You have a look in your face." Yn said with a small shrug and Jisung couldn't help but smile.

"Do I?" He asked with a small laugh. He never expected her to notice so many details. "Are you like obsessed with me or something?" He joked pulling her towards him.

"You're making it weird Han."

"How am I making it weird?" He laughed. "I always hug my friends and kiss my homies goodnight."

"I hate you." Yn laughed along. "But in all seriousness. Are you okay?"

"I... Maybe. There's just a lot of things on my mind." Han said with a small shrug. "I don't know..."

"You're confused?"

"Kinda like that. I don't know how to deal with something. Like there's something I want to do. But I'm sacred."

"Being scared is for the losers." Yn laughed. I'm not the best person for advice but. If you want to do something. You should go ahead and do it. You'll have my support no matter what."

"What if it's something very stupid?"

"You're always doing something stu- I'M KIDDING!" She exclaimed when he tried to tickle her.

"And what if I say I like you?"

"I like you too what's the big deal?"

"No. What if I like like you?" He asked again this time turning around to face her fully.

"Hannie-"

"I like you yn. A lot. It's so hard for me to pretend I don't."

"Then... I'd say I like you too."

"I'm not joking yn."

"Han Jisung." Yn smiled. "I like you... Since we were in highschool when you took me to prom. You were always special to me... I just never thought you'd.... You'd like me back..." He voice got quite at the end.

"What- YN! I literally always call you cute. I always spend time with you- Everyone in our friend group knew that I liked you!"

"BUT YOU SAID I LOOK LIKE A SQUID AND YOU'D RATHER DATE SQUIDWARD!"

"YFN THAT WAS A JOKE!"

"HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?!"

Han couldn't help but smile. "We're idiots." He laughed shaking his head. "Do you wanna be my idiot though?"

Yn grinned before pretending to think.

"Ynnie."

"Yes. I'd like that."

"Damn it was that easy? I now have a girlfriend?"

"You're such a loser. But my loser."

[daceydeath]

Hierarchy

Heirachy: a system, especially in a society or organization, in which people are organized into different levels of importance from highest to lowest.

Parings: Mafia Changbin x Female Reader, Mafia Felix x Female Reader Word Count: 6.5k (give or take) Genre: Mafia au, friends to lovers, angst Warnings: So much swearing, violence, blood, mentions of kidnapping, drinking

You have always been utterly uninteresting, safely boring as close . You had a normal job, normal friends and the sweetest bestie on the planet but now everything is upside down and that best friend of yours is far more dangerous than you could have ever imagined.

Everyone knew that your city was held by the SKZ Syndicate, a street gang turned successful crime family, they were widely feared but the criminal underworld all over the country but in everyday life you barely every gave them a second thought. Working as a secretary at a corporate design firm was hardly a hub for criminal activity, you lived a normal life by just about anyone's standards.

You had your family who still lived in the home you grew up in a few hours outside of the city, you had your friends that you went to school with and the ones you had met through work and you had Changbin your best friend. He had been in your life as a friend for so long you almost couldn't remember your life without him in it, he was sweet and gentle with you and was always a shoulder for you to cry on if thing had gotten hard at work or if your boyfriend of the time had caused you hurt due to a painful breakup. You had never taken that step across the line of friendship you treasured him too much for that, and besides he seemed to have a pretty constant flow of girlfriends, even though you had more than a few romantic thoughts about him over the years you had been friends.

Living in the neighborhood you did had always been a slight concern for Changbin though he was constantly worried about gang activity or crime in your area but you had never had any problems, most people were quite happy to just mind their own business, you knew that the area was part of the half of the city that was connected to the SKZ Syndicate, but you never really ever gave that a second thought. Criminals dealt with criminals you were a secretary you were stratospheres apart as far as you were concerned.

You had agreed to meet Changbin and a few other mutual friends at a club a fifteen minutes from your place, you had told him you were going to take an Uber but you were actually going to walk it wasn't even that late when you were leaving home so it would be fine. No one ever took any notice of you, this time was different though as you walked between people you could feel someone watching you following you but every time you checked in a store window you couldn't tell who it was. Feeling a little more nervous you changed you route making sure to not go down any empty streets, you tried to stand close to groups of people any time you had to stop to cross roads or wait for cars. The feeling continued until you reached the street the club was located on, walking quickly to the door you entered the club to find Changbin.

"Hey doll, you made it" Changbin grinned drink already in hand.

"Yeah, here I am" you smiled in return but you could tell Changbin was already suspicious as he raised his eyebrows at you in an unasked question. Shaking you head to signal him you would tell him later, you took a seat at the booth and began chatting to your other friends. The club was packed, bodies squeezed together on the dance floor and at least five deep at the bar below you on the first floor but somehow, once again, Changbin had managed to secure you a private booth on the upper floor which meant table service and much less having your toes stepped on. It hadn't taken long for you to get ditched by the three girls you were chatting with in favor of dancing and finding a hook up but you didn't mind really, casual hook ups weren't really your thing and Changbin's friends were still there.

Tonight you could feel that it was different to usual more staff were on the upper floor and more of Changbin's friends who you knew as acquaintances joined you, not that it mattered some of them were incredibly handsome and all of them were friendly smiling easily as they spoke to you and always maintaining a respectful eye level and distance from all the girls in the group, which you had to admit was an attractive trait you had always hated being leered at like you were some kind of prize. Felix then came to sit with you, you had known him for quite sometime meeting him through Changbin a year or so earlier and you had quickly formed a fairly strong friendship, after all he was sweet and adorable it was hard to not get attached to him.

"You need another drink bubs?" Felix grinned gesturing to your now empty glass

"Just water thanks Lixie I need to not have a hangover tomorrow" You smiled sweetly noticing Changbin seemed to be in a deep conversation with Chan.

"Water it is then. Do you want something to eat I think Binnie will be busy for a while" Felix chuckled following you line of sight.

"Oh..um no I'm good, I'm just wondering why he still invited us all out if he's so stressed we would've understood" you met Felix's eyes and shrugged. "I never really thought that the music industry would be as stressful as it is"

"Well you know how it is, every job is stressful at points" Felix nodded as though he agreed with you before waving down a staff member to bring you water and him a beer. You sat with Felix chatting and laughing for another hour until all your other friends had quickly come back to tell you they were either going home or to someone else's and it was just you and Changbin's friends who all seemed to be more relaxed than he was.

Sliding out of the booth to go to the bathroom you found yourself almost the center of attention as each of the guys turned to follow you movements, Changbin opened his mouth and you knew he was about to ask where you were going.

"Bathroom" you called back waving to him before walking towards the restrooms that were on the other side of the upper floor noticing them all go back to their conversations and drinks as you weaved your way between the tables. The thump of the bass was much softer once you made your way through the two doors that separated you from the club making you take a deep breath as you washed your hands and placed your now cool fingers on your face. Changbin had been acting strange all night and it was starting to trouble you, maybe if he was free on Sunday night you would ask him over for a movie and feed him so comfort food to see if he would open up about his problems, you hated seeing him stressed it always made his sweet face seem harder more menacing even though he was the exact opposite. You sighed walking back out into the entrance hall of the bathrooms but before you opened the door you could hear someone talking loudly on the phone, knowing you shouldn't eavesdrop you went to push open the door until you heard Changbin's name being used.

"Boss, I'm sure Changbin suspects something" "Yeah I know that but he wont leave the girl alone she has been with one of them the whole time" "Yeah him or the kid Felix" "Should have grabbed her before she got here but she was around too many people" "Gotta go and get back on the floor"

You stood totally still not wanting even your breathing to give away that you were there and could here everything that was said. You heard the bass get louder again as the door opened to the club again and you waited another two minutes before you scurried back down the hallway quickly and straight back into the club. Changbin must have been watching the door leading to the restrooms because he stood as soon as he noticed your wide eyes and pale face. You rushed through the tables almost tripping and you tried to reach him as fast as possible.

"Doll, did you see a ghost or something?" he grinned squeezing you hand as you almost threw yourself into his arms. Him, Felix and Chan were all sitting in the booth you had been occupying with Minho and Han sitting on chairs they had pulled up all of them looking at you in amusement.

"There was a guy in the hallway, he was on the phone he said you suspected something, that that you weren't leaving me alone, that they were supposed to grab me, he knew your names" You babbled quickly looking at him as he almost snarled and pulled you into his lap and over him to slide you between him and Felix keeping you sandwiched between them.

"So am I still being paranoid Chan" He almost spat as he put his large arm around your shoulders to stop you from shaking as Chan looked genuinely angry as he waved Seungmin over to the booth.

"Minnie, quietly look at the CCTV to find out who came out of that door before she came back into the room" Chan's voice sounded so much colder than you had ever heard making you shrink back into the chair to make yourself smaller "Now sweetheart, tell me everything that happened and everything you heard, you don't have to rush and no one is going to be mad about anything are they Changbin?" You looked to Changbin who nodded once before taking his arm from around your shoulders and instead held your hand, while Felix took your other hand in his and squeezed it reassuringly.

"I was leaving the bathroom and I heard a guy on the phone in the hallway, he was talking really loud and normally I would just walk past but when I went to pull the door open he said Binnie's name in a really nasty tone so I just stayed where I was. I couldn't see him but I heard him say that Binnie suspected something, that he won't leave the girl alone, that she is with him or Felix and that they should have grabbed her earlier but there were too many people around. Then he hung up and I waited until I heard him leave the hallway, waited two minutes then came back out here" You took a deep breathe to steady your voice as you finished causing Binnie to smirk at you.

"How did you know he left the hallway?" Minho asked watching you closely.

"When the hallway door opens to the club the music is much louder when it shuts is get quieter again" you explained watching him now smirk at Changbin.

"How do you know it was about you?" Chan asked softly his eyes remained gentle as he spoke to you.

"I felt someone watching me most of the way here tonight, Changbin made me promise to take an Uber but I wanted to walk, I took a longer route with more people I thought maybe I was imagining it but it felt like I lost them once I got near here" your voice shook a little as you told Chan what you hadn't yet had the chance to Changbin.

"So you stayed still and kept out of sight and also went somewhere where there were more people when you thought you were being followed?" Minho asked again this time looking vaguely surprised as Seungmin returned to Chan and Hyunjin joined the table "that's clever I'll give you that"

"Binnie has told me to do that if I don't feel safe" you nodded "He is a bit overprotective at times" the guys all burst out into laughter as you added the last sentence except Changbin who just squeezed your hand and rubbed his thumb across your knuckles to calm you. Minho smiled at you genuinely after your explanation seeming pleased that you had followed Changbin's instructions.

"You still feeling scared?" Felix whispered as Seungmin leaned into Chan's ear to tell him what he found and to keep your attention away from it.

"Yes but I'm safe with Binnie, I'm safe with you" you whispered back causing Felix to grin his dazzling smile at you and Binnie to grumble pulling you away from his pretty friend.

"Lix isn't going to steal her away man" Han chuckled punching Changbin in the shoulder and confusing you slightly since both men were dear friends to you. But you didn't say anything instead you picked up your bag and looked through your notifications to make sure your friends had all got home safely.

"I told you to stop walking everywhere" Changbin almost growled at you causing Chan to raise his eyebrows and Felix to pull you slightly away from him even though you remained un-phased by his tone.

"I know Binnie, but I just never thought I actually needed to worry about all the stuff you worry about" You explained softly placing you hand on his bicep and giving it a gentle squeeze making him soften instantly.

"Normally I would say lets not talk work in front of friends but maybe we should head back to the company and go from there?" Chan announced flicking his eyes to you momentarily.

"Can you guys not go until I had got a cab home though? I don't want to wait by myself" you muttered shyly not wanting to be alone until you were home again.

"Doll, Chan means you are coming too. You can't be on your own until we find out who that guy was, I need you to be safe is that ok?" Changbin's voice was apologetic but urgent as he explained what Chan meant.

"Oh… sure" you nodded obviously unsure as they all began getting up to leave. Changbin pulled you close to his side with one large arm around your waist, Felix stayed close behind you with Minho in front of you and the others forming a loose ring around you. You found yourself being helped into one of three black cars with blacked out windows that were waiting curbside by Felix while Changbin stood at you back.

"Doll, you are going to have to keep your head lower than the seat line just to be safe. Chan is going to ride with you and so will Minho, I'll be in one of the other cars" He explained quickly and softly so as not to frighten you "So you will need to lean into one of them so no one can tell your are in the car, it's just to keep you safe so don't worry ok?" You nodded mutely and fearfully as Minho took Changbin's place in the door opening and gracefully slid in next to you as Chan did the same on the other side.

Watching through the windshield you watched Felix getting in the first car and you assumed Changbin must have been getting in the third since you lost sight of him. Chan was texting someone so you decided it was best to just bow you head and look at your hands clasped tightly in your lap trying to zone out as best you could so as to not panic as to what on Earth was happening. Not paying attention to much else, except the thoughts and fear swimming in your head, you gasped as the car started moving causing Minho's arm to shoot out behind you and pull you under his arm into his chest, keeping you lower than the seat level.

"Is this alright or would you prefer Chan?" Minho murmured gently prizing your white knuckled grip on your fingers apart as you again nodded in response "Bin won't let anything happen to you, we won't either, your safe with us I promise" His voice was soft and gentle which soothed you and confused you since you had only had a handful of conversations with him since you had met him.

"Why is this even happening?" you whispered not looking up at Minho but desperately wanting to.

"Bin will explain everything when we get to the company" Chan smiled taking one of you hands and rubbing circles into the back of it with his thumb. "Just breathe we will be there soon and it will be over" you sighed softly the stress in your body making in hard for you to do much else, everyone in the car stayed silent for the longest time until it pulled into a tree lined street that looked out of place for a business.

"Was anyone tailing?" Chan asked eyes looking towards the driver

"No Sir" he answered quickly "If someone was tailing it was on one of the other cars"

"Good" Chan sighed as the car pulled up to a large gated wall pausing only as the gate opened before quickly driving on until it reached an underground parking garage.

"See everything is fine now" Minho smiled "We're home now no one can hurt you here" you blinked several times before Chan softly pulled you step out of the car.

You stepped into the chilly air of the garage letting go of Chan's hand to pull your bag out behind you as you looked around for anything recognizable. Only finding the other two black cars parked with the 6 other guys standing by the cars talking. Hearing the doors of the final car they all made their way towards you Changbin looking furious and the others in various states of annoyance which triggered something visceral inside you to flip from scared witless to fuming, dropping your bag to the ground suddenly caused all of them to turn their eyes onto you as you stalked forward to Changbin and hit him as hard as you could across the face.

"What the actual fuck Seo Changbin!" you practically screamed at him as his eyes widened almost comically making you hit him again but this time across his chest "come out for the night you said, it would be fucking fun you said. What the fucking hell going on?" Your breathing was ragged from yelling at him and now your hand hurt but he at least had the respect to look sheepish. It was silent for all of two seconds before Felix snorted and all of them devolved into barks of laughter and Changbin looked from you to your now reddening hand that you had tried to bitch slap him with suspicion while rubbing his cheek. Felix was almost on the floor gasping while Han and Chan looked like they might have tears in their eyes. Hyunjin and Jeongin did have tears leaking from their eyes and Seungmin was quickly taking photos of the reddening hand print on the side of Changbin's face before he bent do to grab your bag to hand it back to you.

"Thank you Seungmin" you smiled at him looking every bit the innocent sweetheart they had always thought you to be, causing another round of chuckles to erupt.

"C'mon inside" Changbin groaned wrapping his fingers around your wrist and tugging you behind him toward the doors into the building "I can't believe you just hit me" he grumbled as the others followed along behind the pair of you still trying to get over their amusement.

"I can't believe I overheard someone trying to kidnap me but here we fucking are" you grumbled right back causing Changbin to loosen his grip on your wrist and let his hand lower to grab your hand in his.

"Well if I knew you were going to turn into a psycho I might have let them" he continued but in a teasing tone which you instantly felt a tiny spark of relief over.

"If I knew my best friend was a shady dipshit I might have gone with them voluntarily" you teased right back feeling him squeeze you hand "But you are going to explain what is going on, right? I mean why does anyone want to take me? I'm no one" you almost sobbed still only seeing his back as he led you through the corridor and up a flight of stairs until you finally come out into a very luxurious looking large entryway.

"This is the company, I'll take you upstairs we just need to talk first then I'll come get you ok?" Changbin finally turned to you the red mark on his cheek was already fading slowly and he looked apologetic as each of the others passed by the pair of you towards a large set of dark wood doors. You nodded feeling to overwhelmed to do much else it had been a very intense few hours and you were now starting to feel the strain of it all.

Changbin led you to what you had assumed would be some kind of guest room where he said you could either just rest or get cleaned up but turned out to be his. As soon as he opened the door to the dark navy painted room you could smell his cologne still hanging in the air.

"I'm sorry that this happened Doll, I really am, but make yourself comfy and I'll come back soon" He murmured before closing the door behind him leaving you alone. The emotions of the past few hours finally came out as the door clicked shut as you covered your mouth to muffle the first of what would be many sobs. Tears tracked down your cheeks quickly dripping salty makeup tinged drips onto your top you didn't hear the door open or someone enter the room until a soft cough and a small hand full of tissues came into your blurry line of sight making you almost shriek.

"Mr Seo asked that I check on you, maybe we should get you into the bathroom a nice hot shower will make you feel better I'm sure" she soothed helping you so stand "they will be in a meeting for quite some time so you have time to relax and sleep if you wish I can get you some food if you like" she guided you gently towards the bathroom turning on the light for you and pulling some plush looking towels from the cabinet and placed them on the counter for you.

"thank you" you croaked your throat sore from crying taking in her appearance she mast have been at least in her late 40s but she was being very kind so you instinctively remained polite.

"I will get you some food while you shower dear" She smile once more before disappearing as silently as she arrived.

You took her advice and had a very long hot shower washing your hair, with what you knew instantly was Changbin's shampoo having grown so used to the scent over the years, and washing away any steric of grime that may have remained on your skin from your time at the club. You must have been in the shower for a long time because by the time you had towel dried your hair and wrapped yourself in a fluffy robe, there was already a tray of food waiting for you. You went into the large closet that was next to the bathroom and pulled out one of Binnie's shirts, hoodie and some sweats you found and dressed yourself to make sure you were decent incase Binne or Felix came back for you.

Sitting on the bed you picked up a strawberry and started to nibble on it not feeling hungry enough to actually eat, when you really couldn't force yourself to eat any more fruit you moved the tray from the bed and laid down hoping against the odds that you would wake up to find it all a crazy dream that you could tell Changbin about and you could laugh about.

"Wakey, wakey doll" Changbin whispered lowly as he shook you awake gently, your eyes opened slowly taking in his tired face and sad eyes.

"What's happening?" you groaned slightly groggy from sleep.

"We need to talk about things" he sighed sitting next to you on the bed as you sat up bringing your knees to you chest to lean on as he watched you carefully. You nodded waiting for him to start as you blinked yourself more awake. "I guess we start on the first lie, I don't work in music production I work for Chan, or more so with Chan, and we are more like..."

"Mafia? murderers? drug lords?" you interrupted sarcastically, your fear at all of the nights events still sitting in your gut like lead, watching his face fall slightly.

"The group of us, we're the SKZ Syndicate so you have every right to call us any of those things" he trailed off looking down from your face to the bed "I'm sorry I've lied to you, I never wanted to, but I had to" his voice sounded sadder with each word he uttered making you feel bad for being annoyed about things that weren't your secrets to keep in the first place "Lix feels terrible too but we understand that you are probably going to never want us around you again"

"Why?" you whispered lowering you knees so you could reach out to him and get him to look at you again. "Do you not trust me?" you nearly felt sick thinking that maybe he never cared about you the way you did him.

"With my life doll, I just never wanted you dragged into this. It isn't a safe life, I'm selfish because I still wanted you in my life and I always hoped that you wouldn't find out which is stupid but still" Changbin sounded almost broken as he explained his fears to you and as he did you realized you didn't actually care as long as he was still Binnie you didn't care what he did, not really.

"How long?" you whispered again still not trusting you voice to work properly

"Years a lot of years, the things you read about in the papers, the bloodshed and stuff. I was part of that and before you ask so was Felix we have been in this life for longer than you have known him" Each word was piercing your heart not because you were scared of him or Felix, or even because you were repulsed by it in truth you didn't actually care, but because they both thought you would hate them for it.

"Binnie, I don't care if your a criminal, I only care that you are still my Binnie. Is it selfish I don't want to lose you?" you smiled cupping his cheek as he smiled at you again. "same goes for Lixie I only care about my friends who I have known for so long"

"You won't lose me doll or Felix, promise, now lets go downstairs the boys want to talk to you a little bit more" You nodded sliding out of his bed and following him down the stairs to the large double doors you had seen earlier opening them for you to step into.

You weren't sure what to expect really, some dark wood board room with guns all over the walls? some kind of high tech room filled with spy gear like a James Bond film? To your surprise it turned out to be a very large room filled with couches, televisions playing video games and a pool table. Skateboards, posters and large works of art littered the walls and a fridge behind one of the couches was filled with soda and beer.

"Hi bubs, can I still call you bubs or do you not want me to anymore?" Felix asked sadness in his eyes as he watched you walk further into the room.

"It's still fine Lixie, as long as you promise you are still Lixie" you whispered as he grinned back at you brightly moving around the others to hug you.

"I see you didn't bother finding her actual spare clothes" Jeongin giggled looking over the very baggy shirt that adorned your top half.

"He's not marking his territory at all" Hyunjin hummed teasingly winking dramatically at Changbin making him roll him eyes and curse under his breath.

"You are feeling better? Did Mrs Choi get you anything to eat?" Minho asked softly looking closely at your face "Why are your eyes so red? Did Bin upset you? We can beat him up for you if you want"

"I feel kind of the same, I ate some fruit, I was sleeping that is why my eyes are red, please don't be mean to Binnie" You smiled at Minho watching him smirk in return.

"How about we all take a seat and talk about a few things" Chan sighed trying to diffuse the teasing before it really started up "Seungmin is going to show you a few photos and I would like you to look at them and tell us if any of them are familiar to you" you nodded as Seungmin began taking a small pile of photos out of a black folder and laid them on the coffee table for you to see.

Your eyes widened as you saw that they were all young looking and standing in front of places you knew like your office building, a café near your apartment, the mall you went to. Staring at them you began to think about anyone you had seen in the last week while you were out on errands or going to work, picking up one of a guy in a black backwards cap you looked at it carefully placing it back down again and picking up another of a guy with a cigarette hanging from his fingers sitting at a table you weren't sure if it was the location that was familiar or the man frowning you put it down too.

"It is completely fine if you don't recognize any of them" Chan prompted kindly trying to make you less nervous.

Your frown only intensified as you picked up another photo this guy was standing outside a convenience store that was a few blocks from your apartment he looked like he was checking his phone but it wasn't him that caught your attention it was you inside the convenience store, standing by the counter, probably chatting the cashier that you saw every few days. You remembered that day you had rushed down there when Changbin called to tell you he and Felix were going to come round to watch movies with you after cancelling so many times and you wanted to make sure you had their favorite snacks. It had been a pain too because there had been moving trucks outside the building since lunchtime that day a new tenant was moving in down the hall from you and his stuff had been everywhere almost making you trip on your way out. The new tenant that you met on your way back out of the store as he bumped into you and you nearly dropped your bag of snacks.

"Him" you blurted out handing the photo to Chan "he moved down the hall from me and he knocked into me not too long after this was taken. I nearly dropped all the snacks I bought for Binnie and Lix, we had a movie night"

"This was last week then?" Felix asked coldly looking to Seungmin for confirmation who just nodded in return.

"He touched you?" Changbin snapped he eyes getting darker quickly.

"He bumped into me and apologized Binnie" you explained simply patting his leg to calm him down more so for you than him, because you felt like you were going to need him for what Chan looked like he was about to tell you.

"Well done sweetheart" Chan smiled at you proudly giving the photo to Han "I am going to assume you have some questions" his voice trailed off as you met his eyes and half smiled nervously taking a deep breath.

"Why is this happening?" you asked in a small voice not wanting to seem demanding.

"Well how much did Bin tell you already?" he prompted as the others all watched Changbin

"That you are the SKZ Syndicate and that he has been part of it for a long time, that he didn't want to lie to me but had to" you answered nervously Chan nodded as Felix grabbed on of your hands instinctively squeezing it like he always did when you were feeling nervous or sad.

"That's true, we are the SKZ Syndicate, and Bin and Minho are my seconds in charge, Bin has been with me for a decade now since we were still kids and none of us ever wanted to lie to our families but we need to to keep them safe otherwise we need to keep them as close as possible to ensure they are safe at all times" Chan's voice was soft trying to keep to keep you as comfortable as possible you guessed as you felt yourself relax slightly now that your hand was in Felix's and Binnie's arm was over your shoulders.

"We think this is happening because either some little fucking upstarts want to make a name for themselves or a deal is about to go sideways and they need a bargaining chip" Han answered easily still seeming too sweet natured for the words to be leaving his mouth "Not that you are a bargaining chip, your important to Bin and Lix so your important to all of us, we look after our own"

"What is it you do?" you asked tilting your head "How does this work?" Chan chuckled watching your expression slowly turn from scared to confused as you comprehended that you were safe from any of them.

"Minho and Changbin look after our entertainment businesses, Felix handles our digital businesses, Seungmin and Jeonjin are our eyes and ears and Han and Hyunjin are our arms in the outside world" Chan began again carefully watching his words.

"Basically, Felix is a hacker, Seungmin does our spy and undercover stuff, Jeongin covers surveillance, Minho runs our gambling ring, Changbin runs our clubs and Han and I eliminate threats while Chan keeps everything all lined up and running" Hyunjin grinned at you as Chan cursed under his breath and Minho cackled with laughter.

"Yeah tell her everything Hyunjin, that's going to go well" Seungmin rolled his eyes "If you freak her out Bin will probably punch you"

"Not to mention the liability factor" Jeongin sighed looking at the ceiling.

"Hey she is not a liability Jeongin" Felix growled in a voice so much deeper that you had ever heard causing the air to turn thick in the room.

"Innie didn't mean it like that Lix" Chan groaned rubbing his eyes tiredly. Jeongin sat wide eyed staring at Felix while the others had all either arched their eyebrows or openly gaped at the boy next to you.

"What happens now?" you interrupted hoping to cut the tension that was not forming again in the room

"Well that is complicated we need to figure out what exactly their motivations are then we will deal with it however we need to" Han answered watching you again.

"So what do I do until then?" you whispered sadly and almost inaudibly but they all still managed to hear you.

"You stay here with us, you will have to call in sick to work until this is done, but I can guarantee you are safe here" Chan shrugged like it was nothing.

"Will this happen again with someone else?" you knew you sounded emotional and tired but you didn't care if they were happy to indulge your questions you were going to ask them

"Honestly" Jeongin looked at you sympathetically "It might never be an issue again but it also could happen very easily as soon as someone tweaks to the idea that you know Bin and Lix in a more than casual sort of way"

"Jeongin" Binnie almost snarled at the younger man "Don't start"

"Stop it Binnie" you snapped finally "It is confusing enough trying to follow the cryptic shit without you adding to it, I know you can't tell me things and that's fine, I know you are trying really hard to make me feel like I'm safe but really your just giving me a massive headache and making me miserable so just fucking stop it" you seethed at him again in all your years of friendship you had never snapped at him as many times as you had in the last 24 hours but you couldn't help it you were just emotionally drained and exhausted.

"Shh bubs, its alright" Felix pulled you out from under Changbin's arms and wrapped you up in a cuddle like he always did when you were upset "Binnie and I are just protective of you, we don't mean to make this harder for you, it's just that we would never want to lose you and it's hard for us to talk about it in case you want out afterwards" he continued rocking you as you hid your face in his neck to hide how difficult this was for you.

"Fine, you want to know the how's, why's and who's" Changbin seethed at you "Some little piece of shit thinks that the best way to get back at me is through you and now we have to figure out exactly what deal has gone wrong or if they are trying to rival us and then I have to go kill him! Happy now? I have to go kill yet another man because he's threatening you and I'll fucking die before I let some motherfucker come anywhere near you" His breathing was ragged by the time he finished and you could feel the anger rolling off of him, swallowing loudly you stood slowly trying to steady yourself from how truly frightening he looked in this state. You looked at Felix who was looking murderously at Changbin .

"I'll take you back upstairs bubs, you definitely need some rest" His voice was still far too deep for what you were useful but he intertwined his fingers with yours so gently making you feel slightly better "We can talk more in the morning when no one is emotional" his last sentence was obviously and pointedly directed at Changbin as the rest of the room was silent.

You followed Felix all the way upstairs without really registering anything until you reached the door to Changbin's room but Felix kept leading you further down the hallway and into the next one. Opening the door for you he ushered you into a different bedroom which you realized must have been his room, following you in he quickly turned on his wall lamps and turned off the main light leaving the room bathed in a soft golden glow which went perfectly with the soft blue walls and white furnishings.

"You can stay in here tonight bubs and I'll go stay with one of the others if you like, so you aren't with Changbin until he calms down" he soothed his voice now back to normal and his eyes shining sweetly, he sat you on the end of the bed as he began rummaging through his things to find his sleep stuff.

"Can you stay with me? you don't have to Lix..." you murmured shakily looking at him with doe eyes.

"Of course bubs. I'll just get washed up and I'll be back did you want me to find you something to sleep in?" he interrupted reaching out to pet your hair. You nodded as he started pulling out clothes for you and handing them to you before disappearing into the bathroom, you changed quickly and slipped yourself into Felix's bed sinking into the soft mattress. You must have started drifting off because when the bed dipped under Felix's weight you jumped making him chuckle as he turned off the lights and got in next to you, rolling over you burrowed yourself into his side and drifted off quickly nestled in blankets and Felix's arms.

a/n: This is the first mafia au I have attempted so I'm sorry if it isn't as good as it could be I wanted to challenge myself. Thanks for reading it reblogs are always appreciated and if you have any comments or criticisms let me know.

Taglist (open): @christopher-bangnaldoskzz