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Simping for Schemmenti- Chapter 19: The Crash
This gif from @babytakeittothehead was perfect and is absolutely what I had in the back of my mind while writing this chapter. This idea has been brewing in my mind for months. I apologize now.
Summary: Things have been going well... except for the fact that you and Ava are fighting with no end in sight. Melissa stopped waiting for the other foot to drop. Till it all came crashing down.
Warnings: Blood, Angst, Medical talk, Car (well i guess bus) accident, Reader Injury, Flashbacks (Flashfowards?)... i think that may be it
PS- I keep anything medical to a minimum and I may have some things wrong. My wife is a medical major, I am not and I already told you fanfiction is my escape from real life.
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It was one of the worst storms that Melissa had seen in all her years teaching at Abbott. The rain pounded on the roof. Children huddled together with her on the rug, terrified as the lights flickered around them. Melissa did her best to calm them, taking turns to give each of them a reassuring squeeze. Teaching was forgotten as they all tried to make it through the next terrifying lightning strike. Ava had called in the buses early to get as many kids home as possible, but they were delayed due to the sudden onslaught of rain that was immediately turning to ice from the cold temperatures. Melissa had always been scared of thunderstorms since she was a child, and she had been locked outside by her father, who had had one too many drinks. She wanted desperately to seek you out, but with her little eagles so upset, she knew she had to stay. Watching over them and protecting them was more important than her feelings. She kept telling herself over and over again that she would see you soon and that everything was going to be okay, but there was a pit in her stomach. A worry that she couldn’t seem to shake.
Nothing about the last couple of weeks had been normal, and this storm only confirmed the weird tension in the air. You couldn’t remember the last time that you talked to Ava, and every sister date since the blowout had been filled with awkward gaps and your sister running off to cry alone in her room, the hormones from her pregnancy making her more emotional. You had been avoiding Ava leaving a room when she entered. Not even opening your mouth to talk to her, doing your best to never need her for anything. She was giving you similar treatment by telling Melissa something that you needed to know. Then, when Melissa had become frustrated with becoming the messenger, the job fell onto Janine. Who was too scared of Ava to tell her no, and you had a soft spot for the younger woman, so you let her get away with it. Yet at the first crack of lightning and the announcement that school would be closing early, you immediately took your kids to the gym and moved to find Ava. Fight be damned you needed to be by her and figure this out together. It was an old habit that you couldn’t kick.
“What are you doing here?” Ava said, looking up from her phone as she ended another phone call and looked out into the storm from where she stood on the front steps.
“I came for a temporary truce,” You sighed, “How do we get our kids out of this?”
“I am working on it. Buses are already called,” Ava snipped and the familiar anger curled around your stomach.
You were pacing the floor of the entrance, rain already soaking your shirt, “I don’t think we could even get them on the bus at this point, Ava. Plus, how are we going to try and get parents out in this weather? It is only getting worse. What if we get everyone in the gym to keep the kids distracted till it blows over?”
“I already have Mr. Johnson collecting flashlights, and Jacob is getting the third and second floor students down here. Dia is calling parents and telling them to wait the storm out. Do you think I'm that much of shitty principal I don’t know how to handle this? Or just a shitty sister?” Ava snapped, pushing towards you so that you had to take a step back towards the stairs.
“I never said that! Either of those things. You know I think you are an amazing principal and sister. You are the one who said that you didn’t want to be sisters anymore. That was your words, not mine. Let’s not get this twisted,” You yelled back.
“You may not have said it exactly in those words, but you made it very clear. You told Tara I was moving. I couldn’t even explain what happened. She won’t even talk to me,” Ava screamed, and for the first time, you could see the tears that she was holding back, “She won’t answer my calls. Nothing.”
“Now you know how it feels.”
Ava shook her head, resetting herself, “Why did you even come here?”
“I was just trying to help,” You announced, defeated, “I know how much you hate storms when you are by yourself. Let alone when you have a bunch of people you have to be responsible for.”
“Yeah, I hated storms when I was ten Y/N. I'm not some little kid that you have to save anymore.”
The words stung, and it was in that moment that you turned towards the bus loop. The world seemed to inch into slow motion as the worst-case scenario unfolded. You saw the lights of the bus as it tried to slam on its brakes, horn blaring. It bounced up the sidewalk, propelled by the ice fishtailing as the bus driver looked with horror at its target. You swiveled back to Ava and pushed her toward the front door that had been propped open. She tumbled through it, kicking out the door jam, and it swung closed behind her. You wanted to say so many things to her in that moment, but the only thing you could do was appreciate that she was out of harm's way in the best way you could imagine. You could hear her yelling on the other side of the door, but it was already too late. The bus nicked the edge of the school, clipping you in the process before finally coming to a stop. The impact only lasted for a second, and then the whole world went black.
The school shook with the impact, and then Ava’s scream could be heard in every corner of the building. She pushed open the front door to the bright headlights, the edge barely missing where your head lay. Teachers peeled out of their classroom, trying to keep calm as students began to sob. Barbara was the one to reach Ava first as she pointed to the bus now firmly blocking the front entrance. It had crushed part of the office with rocks tumbling onto Dia’s desk. She ran to escape the carnage as the crack widened. Cold air rushed in through the open hole, rain destroying files of students’ paperwork. Barbara took in the chaos of the scene, trying to take it all in, but all Ava did was scream as she pointed at you. The older woman had entirely missed you lying there. Trapped underneath the bus, hair splayed across the concrete, and a slow trickle of blood blooming across your chest and down your neck. The extent of your injuries is unknown, but you needed clear emergency help. Barbara swallowed hard, looking at the blood and how pale you were becoming, then turned to gauge how much longer she had. There were two things she feared from this situation: you dying and Melissa watching it happen.
Barbara scanned the hallway, picking out the teachers who separated you and the redhead. Melissa had just poked her head into your empty classroom, her heart dropping at the darkness that greeted her. She called your name, but when no one answered, she swiveled towards the front door. In quick succession, Melissa’s face turned from curiosity to horror as she saw Ava on the floor screaming louder with every moment that passed. Past Barbara she was able to catch the smallest glimpse of your hair, and her stomach automatically dropped. She knew something was wrong. She took off at a sprint towards you, heels pounding down the hallway her fair flying out behind her as the lights flickered one more time. Barbara scrambled across the rubble on the floor, grabbing Gregory and Jacob. They would only have a couple of moments if they were lucky.
“What is going on?” Gregory asked, taking in everything that was going on
“It’s Y/N…it’s not good. Do not let Melissa come anywhere near this. Do you understand me? I don’t care how much she fights or claws. Whatever you have to do, she can’t see this,” Barbara said, pushing them towards Melissa.
Melissa was now running at full sprint towards the office as Barbara ordered Janine to call 911 and not stop calling till someone said they were coming. Gregory grabbed Melissa first, the impact almost knocking both of them over. He wrapped his arms tight around her, lifting her in the air, trying to pull her down the hallway. Jacob came seconds later, panting and struggling to find a way to restrain the redhead.
“Where is she? Is that her?” Melissa yelled, pushing against Gregory’s arms.
“You can’t go over there, Melissa,” Jacob said, gasping as Melissa’s heel connected hard into his shin, “I’m sorry, but you can’t.”
“No! No! Let me go,” Melissa said, pounding her fists against Gregory’s back, tears already falling down her face, “Let me see her. Where is she?”
“Just let Barbara take care of it,” Gregory soothed, and Melissa let out a choked sob from all that was being left unsaid.
They kept up the fight, dragging Melissa down the hallway and to the ground as Barbara picked her way through the pieces of debris to where your body lay. She pressed her fingers against your pulse point. It was shallow, but it was there, struggling to stay afloat, and your body attempted to drift further and further away. She touched your shoulder gently, and your eyes flickered slightly.
“Barbara,” You said, voice cracking on her name, “Is Ava okay?”
“Yes, sweetheart, she made it out,” Barbara replied, grabbing for your hand.
“Good,” You smiled, then began to cough, blood running down your cheek.
Tears ran freely down Barbara’s face as she squeezed your hand harder, “Help is on the way, sweetheart. You have to stay awake, okay. You can do this.”
“The ring I got for Melissa is in my book room,” You whispered quickly, panic rising in your voice, “Buried in the left side of my desk.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Find it,” You said, another cough shaking your body, “Give it to Melissa and tell her I love her and I am so sorry…”
“No, no, no absolutely not,” Barbara begged, shaking her head, tears blurring her vision, “I am not doing that. You tell Melissa. You can make it out of this. Please… you have to.”
You went to respond, but another coughing fit came over you. Every muscle in your body was in so much pain that it seemed to radiate all around you. After one particularly hard cough, your body convulsed in a seizure, causing your whole body to shake. Your eyes closed as blood dripped from your nose and out of the corner of your mouth. Your hand went slack around Barbara’s as the sweet call of darkness overtook you.
It was in this moment that Melissa had broken free from her two bodyguards. The older woman was standing next to Ava with an unobstructed view of your body. There was so much blood. So much pain that was clear across your face. She screamed immediately, devolving into unmanageable tears as she heard Barbara repeating your name and squeezing your hand. She went to rush towards you but was pulled to the ground by Ava. It was the only thing stopping Melissa from trying to tear that bus off of you with her bare hands. However, the fight was all but knocked out of her as she hit the ground. Your sister clasped her arms around Melissa and rocked her gently back and forth.
“No, no no no,” Melissa repeated with every rock, “This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening.”
“She can make it,” Ava said with little conviction, “I need her. I never told her I was sorry. I am so sorry. I am so sorry.”
Melissa clung to Ava like a lifeline, but no words came out as her body began to shake. Ava’s tears were falling as quickly as the rain outside. The two unlikely friends in shock that the one thing that brought them so close was now disappearing before their very eyes, “She has to make it. She has to.”
But even as she spoke the words, the two women could see the life slowly leaving your body with each moment that passed. Failing at their initial mission, Jacob ran off to get as many kids together in the gym away from the main office as possible. Gregory ran down the hallway and into each classroom, gathering as many medical supplies as he could. When he came back, Janine had just made her way over to Barbara, who was still attempting to wake you up.
“They are still about ten minutes out,” The young woman croaked through her tears.
“She doesn’t have ten minutes,” Barbara spat out.
“We can try and stop as much bleeding as we can,” Gregory suggested, piling gauze on the floor around you, “It has to be better than standing around doing nothing.”
Melissa watched as her mind filled with all of the moments that she would never have with you. A little piece of her was trying to realize that you were already gone.
You looked beautiful in your wedding dress as you walked towards Melissa, arm securely wrapped around Tara’s steadying yourself. Hair falling in big, loopy curls that kissed your bare shoulders, the dress dragging behind you. A crown adorned with jewels upon your head, glinting in the overhead fairy lights. A smile that Melissa would never tire of. Tears were flowing freely down Melissa's face as she looked at you. The woman she loved and wanted desperately to spend the rest of her life with. The one who made the thought of another marriage not seem scary anymore. As she reached out to you to take your hand, she knew that she was going to get everything she ever dreamed of.
The dream snapped shut, and it was Janine screaming this time as more blood seeped through her fingers, “It won’t stop, Gregory. Is there more gauze?”
He shook his head solemnly, pulling his jacket off, “Use this. They have to be here soon. They have to be.”
Melissa’s heart dropped another level as she was snapped into another lost future.
You were sitting up in bed, a baby cradled in your arms. Your fingers were smoothing back red strands of hair as you hummed a song, coaxing the baby to sleep. She knew the lyrics all too well, Nonna requesting them for her funeral. Tears in Heaven was the only song that had ever made Melissa cry: Would you know my name-if I saw you in heaven? Would it be the same-if I saw you in heaven? I must be strong-and carry on- ‘Cause I know I don’t belong-here in heaven
Bright lights shattered through the stillness, shattering Melissa’s dream. The bus had shifted slightly, and your body began to convulse again. She watched numbly as sirens filled the quiet and people rushed through open spaces of the school. Barbara was calling them over frantically, still refusing to let go of your hand. Melissa should have been the one holding your hand. She knew that, but deep down, Melissa knew that it would be pointless. The blood had already created a pool around your pale body, and the words of your eulogy seemed to be written into the pale liquid.
This time, she let the future swoop around her, letting it replace the grim present that was unfolding in front of her.
You were standing outside the front of Abbott holding hands with a small child. Vibrant red braids ran down the child’s back. She was wearing a Philadelphia Eagles backpack a dog charm hanging off one side. Cradled against your other hip was a baby with brown curls clinging desperately to your neck. You were soothing the older child, reminding them that everyone is nervous on their first day of school. That Momma would be there whenever she got too scared. She would never be alone. Melissa tried to step forward and reach for your children. It had to be your children that both of you had talked around, too scared to admit that, even so late in life, Melissa wanted them desperately. Yet she was stuck watching, unable to reach out.
Ava’s voice broke through this clouded vision, “She is AB negative.” “Shit,” The paramedic said still hooking tubes to your body, “If we don’t get her blood I don’t think she is going to be able to move from this spot. Let alone make it to the hospital.”
“I can do it,” Barbara said through a waver in her voice, “I am AB negative. You can take my blood, right?” The paramedic hesitated for a moment before nodding. Barbara gulped, looking once at Melissa, then Y/N, then to Janine, “Janine, I need you to come here.”
Janine scrambled in front of her mentor, blood staining her dress, hands, and bits of her face, “What do you need?”
“I need you to hold my hand and tell me about your stupid car wash fundraising idea,” Barbara said, desperately grabbing onto the younger woman’s hand.
“Right now?” Janine said, her eyes widening.
“Look, I hate needles. If I look, I will pass out, and they need this blood,” Barbara whispered as she turned away from the paramedics, “Normally, I would get Melissa to hold onto but I can’t because I will freak out since she looks like she already thinks Y/N is dead. Which she can’t be. Not before she gets this blood. Not when she is supposed to be marrying my best friend. So I need you to talk to me.”
Melissa pondered Barbara’s comment before another future hope clouded her eyes.
You were sitting next to Melissa, grey hairs slowly creeping in across your curls. Lines had formed under your eyes, and your face had softened with age. Yet your smile was still as broad as ever. You talked excitedly about her. Who it was, Melissa didn’t know, even after you pointed out the graduation caps that filled the front of the field. She thought it might be your daughter, but didn’t want to assume and just relished in how excited you were. That something you and Melissa had created together had beaten the odds and made it out on top.
“Alright, we got a pulse!” The paramedic shouted, unhooking Barbara’s arm from the needle, “It is weak, but let’s get her out of here before we lose it again.” They had lifted the bus off you just enough that you could be slid out among the wreckage while they had been working on you. You were lifted by two of the paramedics, picking their way through towards the waiting ambulance. Gregory pulled the red head to her feet, bringing her alongside your body.
“This is her wife, can you take her with you?” He asked more as a demand.
“Hop in,” One man said, and Melissa looked back towards Ava.
She reached her hand out, begging, “Ava, please.” Ava hesitated, lost in her thoughts, when the medic yelled, “Come on, last one we have to get out of here before we lose her again.” Ava scrambled into the bed of the ambulance, slotting herself as close to Melissa as she could get. The doors slammed, and they jumped as the vehicle took off down the road. The ambulance slid around corners, rain still pounding along the roof. Ava clutched Melissa’s hand so tightly that she was sure she was going to lose feeling in her fingers. Flashback began to crawl back from where she had locked them away, and she finally remembered why she hated the rain. She leaned further into Melissa, trying to push the memories away. Melissa didn’t care about the storm anymore because as she looked at you all, she saw death. Death of the woman she loved and the dreams you could have created together.
She fell again into what she once thought was a dream but was now only a nightmare.
You were lying down on the bed grey hair making a complete halo around your face. Freckles dotted your aged skin, but at the sight of Melissa, you smiled. A soft smile that came with years of experience and heartbreak. It is time to let me go, Mel. I will catch you in the next lifetime and every lifetime after. I promise you. And with one final smile, you went slack, utter silence filling the space
The monitored flat-lined as your heart stopped beating once again. A shock sent your body into an arch, but the line stayed steady. Only flowing upward with each strong push that came from the paramedic doing CPR. You could tell it was hurting you. The light draining from your skin and the air around you until everything became black. Blood was coming through the bandages that had been wrapped around you and through Gregory’s sweatshirt. Your head snapped back against the gurney, your body following shortly after. Lungs barely filling with air as they attempted to draw you back. Melissa reached out gently to touch your hand.
“One more baby, please, just one more chance,” She whispered to herself, to god, to you, she couldn’t tell anymore, “I can’t do this without. I won’t do this without you.”
The reassuring beep of the monitors warmed Melissa’s heart every so slightly as you came back just a little. It was barely enough to register, but for Melissa, it was everything. You were fighting your way back to her.
“There you go, baby, I got you. I am here with you.”
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Taglist
@yoyo-w // @panerasbox // @cupldscntrl // @derpyavocado // @milfslvr // @babytakeittothehead // @liliapleasesteponme // @marvel210 // @milfjuulpod // @writerspirit // @lakita-fisher // @italianidiota
#abbott elementary#melissa schemmenti#Melissa schemmenti x reader#Melissa Schemmenti x you#Melissa Schemmenti x original female character#Simping for schemmenti#more to come#my baby fic#ava coleman#ava coleman & you#check your warnings#angst
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this is the moment that broke me
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 12 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 12 spoilers#gif warning#gifs that will drop a beat so sick that your head will come off warning#admittedly i nearly lost it thirty seconds into 7-12 because of the mohawks#but mixmaster dj riddle just absolutely destroyed me#i have got to stop playing the updates at 2 am because i genuinely woke up and had to check if i had dreamed this or not
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Hey if people are thinking of 'stockpiling HRT' and you are doing it with Testosterone, be aware that is a controlled substance and doing this WILL GET YOU A FELONY CHARGE IF YOU ARE CAUGHT (and it would be very easy for this to happen through the way those posts reccomend).
Its your decision if you want to risk imprisonment (and then definitely losing hrt access), but be aware of the serious consequences- especially if you are recommending this to people!
If you do this with E, you get a slap on the wrist. If you do this with T its a felony. A felony charge deeply effects everything you do. Its not just hard to DYI T, its MANY TIMES LEGALLY RISKIER AND HARDER.
#'dyi hrt its fine anyone can'. Tell me you dont know or care doing that with T will get you time in prison and a permanent criminal record#stop passing posts saying to do this without this warning on it. This kind of charge ruins lives and monkey business CANNOT be relied on#'just trust that they are overworked enough to not check they filled it out right and that they will buy your lie'#the second they catch on you are FUCKED. The consequence is not 'uwu you just wont get more extra' its a court date and a cop up your ass#it is NOT fearmongering to say this. do not fuck around with controlled substances when there is a PAPER TRAIL??? HELLO?#do you want access to meds permanently revoked? A mark like that is how you get doctors to not want to give them to you Forever#wayward rambling#rebloggable but clowning will get the post locked
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his prey animal swag
#ghost eyes#ghost eyes webtoon#rudolph richardson#ghost eyes rudy#my art#worlds most normal 16 year old👍#edit: uhm if any of my followers are curious what this is. i feel obliged to warn that this series has every trigger warning under the sun#check out at your own discretion etc
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Old Men(tor) Big Naturals
(for @3luecactuz)
#star wars#yoda#lord of the rings#gandalf#gandalf big naturals#That's an active community last I checked and I *will* throw this into that tag <3#Thank you for letting me live my dream.#Specifically- thank you for opting into ‘surprise me’ and having the luck of the dice#Finally…I have drawn yoda big naturals….#its like the weight of two boulders have lifted off my chest#big heaving old man shirt boulders.#All my silly words aside; thank you so much for your longtime support dear 3luecactuz B*)#Praying and hoping you also find this a delightful twist of fate and I have not inspired you to throw me overboard.#Raffle prize 1/5 done! I warned you all I was going to start by swinging a bat. Stay tuned for more this week!#No theme this time around except to have fun with the prompts <3
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KILLJAM XXX Weekly Release LP
It's been awhile since we've kept up with a show as episodes have been released, so we've decided to revisit the listening party fun with the incredible @killjamxxx , a self-described cyberpunk death game audio drama.
Beginning this Wednesday, May 14 at 2:00PM EST/ 7PM BST, we'll listen to two episodes a week until we're caught up, at which point we'll drop back to once weekly on release day at the same time. ITS GOING TO BE A GREAT TIME HOPE TO SEE YOU THERE 💜
#content warnings for each episode are available in the show notes; we recommend you give them a look + will mention it again at events!#I have so many good things to say about this show; id you can't join us be sure to check it out on your own time!!#killjam xxx#podcast book club
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You know. You know what I'm gonna say.
Ad-Rock butch x Kathleen Hanna femme
#yea i know it's just me claiming butchfemme again#but it is my duty#the visions come to me without warning and like a prophet i must bring them to the people#fruitful.txt#dykeposting#butchfemme posting#butchfemme#ad rock#adam horovitz#kathleen hanna#beastie boys#bikini kill#le tigre#90s hip hop#riot grrrl#grunge#punk#ill communication#check your head#paul's boutique#90s rap#new york music#90s music#90s pop culture
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Not my vid
#tiktok#video#tiktok video#politics#usa#us politics#tyranny#nytimes#warning signs#check your sources#education#educate yourself#cute winter boots
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#STOP THAT IMPOSTOR BASTARD#HES POSTING WITH MY NAME MY ADDRESS MY PHONE NUMBER EVERYTHING#STOP HIM!#olivia octavius#doc ock#doctor octopus#the spot#jonathan ohnn#JJJJOOOOONNNY#LISTE N TO ME JONNY#I WILL CRUSH YOUR WORLD#i can hear it so clearly in her voice#IT WAS OUR COLLIDER JONNY YOU FUCKING IDIOT YOU IDIOT I SIGN YOUR FUCKING CHECKS#but shes nice enough to at least warn him with “tell one more person”#shes so stupid
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You know that fanmade Cave game? Yeah, it makes me so unwell 😩🤲🥹❤️🩹
I can't read/write Japanese and I don't have twitter, but still I want to thank the creators for making and sharing it 🙏 Please accept my offering
#There are some other scenes I could have drawn but in the end I chose the least spoilery one ahaha#Cave project creators...if you somehow see this post. just know that I had a blast playing it. Thank you all so much for your hard work <3#The character sprites are so itty bitty cutey i want to squish them in my hands 🤏 The special cutscene arts are also so 🔥🔥🔥#The story telling is great. I like when they have different endings. Some dialogues still live rent free in my brain btw#The music is also great. It vibes really well with each scene. I wasn't expecting the fight scene to have such a banger bgm though. ahaha#tower of god#tog#the 25th baam#the 25th bam#jue viole grace#my art#Spoiler warning below:#my first play I downloaded the apk but unfortunately the japanese font doesn't load so all the dialogues are just ▯▯▯#and so I played it blind. somehow got the ending like 5 minutes in ahaha. And then I checked the second link and opened it in my browser#I played it with google translate aimed to my screen 😂 worth it 👍 The story makes me so unwell ueueueue 🥹😭#so funny that the moment I know I can make him faint I immediately overworked him over and over. I didn't know it has 'consequences' ;))#and let me tell you that I squealed when I faced that 'consequences' 🥹 his dialogue makes me so unwell#Also funny how Khun told Bam to not overwork and go to sleep. but then the next thing he said it's ok to stay up late. Typical khun 😂#Rak is still the all-time best. I love him so much 😭💖 he's so proud of his turtles...I'm so unwell ueueueue#I like the rocks detail too. Curious on what actually happened for him to still have those with him when he woke up
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further to a topic i saw the other day idk how many times i can see the words dead dove on a blog and then look at the tags and go ? this truly just needs a trigger-warning and doesn't warrant the dead dove tagline.
#like i see the words dead dove on your blog im assuming the worst hello#saw someone use it and was like ? nobody this correctly let me see what all the fuss is about: nah.#this person had used the tag GENUINELY. this was fully admissable like thats the first time ive seen this used properly LMAOOOO#they said hey my blog will contain INC*ST and AGE G*PS and if you follow me youre ok w that. LMAO#i have a zombie oc im not going to dead dove-tag for cannibalism. thats just a trigger warning to be stated in rules#i have a demon oc. i have DEATH as an oc. im not tagging religious themes. thats just a trigger warning.#not my mutuals yall wld never but#FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE LEARN TO USE THE DEAD DOVE TAG PROPERLY#please stop using dead dove thinking it looks cool or something bcs u are#blurring the fucking lines#like ppl will always check rules n im glad i do but i let out the biggest fucking sigh sometimes bcs im like#squints like im reading an illegible scribble. yeah ok so its just a TRIGGER WARNING?#also while im here dont engage with me if youre into proshipping or engage with people that are <3
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Philly Robin Hood
Chapter 1: Ready Set Let's Go
Summary: Melissa and Ava have been floating in each other's orbits for years. It was only a matter of time before they clashed together. What was
PSA: Shit did I post early? Oops? This is going to be DARK. Not always dark. But dark enough that I think I should remind everyone to ALWAYS check your trigger warnings. Take breaks. This is a beefy chapter, and it is going to be a long series. It will be here when you are ready. And if this isn't for you, I have so many other series. Please read those instead. Also some small errors but I couldn't keep looking at this.
Warnings: 18+, MDNI, Swearing & lots of it, Small season 4 spoilers, Alcohol, Poly Relationship, Use of pet names (Baby, Princess, Angel, Red,Sweetheart), Sub Space, Sub!Melissa, Soft Dom!Ava, Wrist constraints, Phone sex (kinda?), Face sitting, Dark, Angst, Smut, WLW Smut, Violence, Guns, Blood, Fighting, Injured Reader, Injured Melissa, House fire, Homelessness (I think that is all of them Holy Shit)
Moodboard // Masterlist
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Ava and Melissa coming together was an inevitable disaster. Unavoidable, like the way that lightning follows thunder. It all happened after Ava got fired from Abbott and walked out with a cardboard box full of her things. The younger woman had glanced back for just a moment and caught the redhead’s eyes. A thousand emotions played across her face as she squeezed her lips closed, unable to say anything at all. A million things went unsaid as she stepped through the doors of Abbott one final time the door clicking with a finality.
Melissa’s heart had broken, standing there watching a woman she had pined after for years slip through her fingers. A woman who had stood up and defended her more than anyone ever had. She had to chase after her. She knew that, but with the district breathing down their necks, she waited. When the final bell rang, she was out the door, the heels of her boots vibrating the linoleum. Barbara watched her best friend peel out of the parking lot like a bat out of hell, but only smiled. Maybe the redhead was finally going to get her head out of her ass and chase after what she wanted.
Which is exactly what Mel did as she pulled into McShane’s parking lot. An Irish pub that was known for dirt cheap drinks, hot bartenders, and skeevy men who liked to pay anyone for a glance of some tits. On the outskirts of Philly, and the last place that the composed and glamorous Ava Coleman should be. But Melissa knew that she would find her there. Tucked into the corner of the bar, nursing straight whiskey that she made other men pay for. Far enough away from anyone that may know her so that Ava could fall apart into pieces. Her hard exterior chipping away until her true shell remained underneath. An Ava that Melissa was desperate to get to know more of.
When she opened the door, the head hostess was leaning over the small counter, writing away at a pad of paper. You looked up, catching her eye with a smile as your hair fell in curls around your exposed shoulders. Melissa was momentarily caught off guard as you leaned back up your corset on full display. The top gave way to a pinstripe black and grey tank top that barely contained your lifted breasts. A silver necklace wrapped around your neck three times before coming to settle with an anchor charm between your cleavage. Rings of various sizes and shapes littered your hands that splayed across the counter, and every finger was painted a dark black, except your middle fingers, which were a vibrant red.
“You must be Melissa,” You smiled, red lipstick glinting in the low light.
Melissa was temporarily caught off guard and lacked her usual bite when she responded, “Yeah, and what is it to you?”
“Hot woman in a tight red dress standing about 5’7 maybe 6’ with those tall heels walked in here saying and I quote ‘If a red head with a banging body comes looking for me, tell Melissa I’m in the back corner. If it is anyone else tell them to suck my dick’. She was right, you do have a banging body,” You smirked and then waved Melissa forward, “Follow me.”
Melissa’s heart stuttered at the fact that Ava had been waiting for her and knew that she would come. She followed you through the bar, weaving between tables, trying not to get distracted by the way your hips swayed in your black jeans. Or how your heeled boots stepped confidently through spilled liquid and discarded fries. At one point, a man tried to reach out for Melissa’s hand, and you turned around, slapping it away with a small metal pole that you extracted from your pocket.
“Ray, I told you to keep your grubby hands off my customers,” You growled, “I catch you touching something other than your own dick tonight I will kick you out on the street and ban you.”
“But…”
“Try me,” You snarled, hitting him again.
Ray turned back towards his table, his friends laughing at him. You took Melissa’s hand in yours after that, guiding her once again to the corner of the bar.
“You always carry small metal bats with you?” Melissa asked.
“You learn real quick how to defend yourself in this part of town,” You quipped, “But I am sure that you know that already.”
Before the older woman could respond, she stopped in front of a large corner booth tucked in the back of the bar. Ava was swirling a large glass of whiskey in her hand a cheshire grin already spread across her face.
“Here you go, beautiful. That redhead with a banging body that you asked for,” You smiled, and Ava outstretched her hand to give you a twenty.
“For making sure Red got over here safely,” Ava said, her hand lingering in yours.
“Princess, I would have done anything for you for just a kiss,” You said, pocketing the twenty.
“Oh, I can spare one of those,” Ava replied, leaning over the table and pulling you in by the loops of your necklace.
Melissa watched as a knot formed low in her stomach. She was used to jealous. A red-hot emotion that burned through her skin like fire as it licked against wood. But this was different. Hungry almost. A need that she had never felt before, and it drove her wild.
Before she could reflect on it further, Ava pulled away, and you turned to wink at Melissa. Cheeks a dull pink with lipstick smeared, you made your way back to the front. The older woman watched until a click of the tongue and a pet name called out to her.
“Baby, attention on me now,” Ava cooed, and Melissa sunk.
Eyes glazed over, Melissa let Ava pull her into the booth. Once she was flush against Ava’s side, she could feel herself begin to breathe again. Ava moved her hair from her neck and then kissed the exposed skin.
“What a good girl you are. Found where I was hiding in only an hour,” Ava complimented, and Melissa let out a pitiful whimper, “We have so much to discuss.”
Melissa shook her head to clear it and moved away from Ava to the other side of the booth, “I need to sit over here for a moment. Collect myself.”
“Can we at least hold hands?” Ava asked a question that should have been casual but held a slight tremor.
“Yes, I just can’t think when you look like that and are saying all those nice things to me and have those eyes,” Melissa explained, taking a deep breath. Ava squeezed her hand, encouraging her to go on, “You knew I would come for you.”
“Well, I hoped and took a risky gamble,” Ava admitted, “I didn’t get to say a proper goodbye, and we had so many things left unresolved. I figured if you came, then that was the sign.”
"To take the risk on us?” Melissa questioned, looking pointedly at their clasped hands.
“To talk about us but to clarify, being with you was never a risk to me. It was an inevitable collision. The rainbow after the storm. Coming home after a long, stressful day. This is the first time in our lives that we are putting ourselves first, and I will never say that is a risk.”
Melissa surged forward at the last word. Lips crashing into Ava’s as her hands cupped the younger woman’s face, pulling her closer. Ava hesitated for only a moment before her fingers dug into red hair and pulled. Melissa moaned into her mouth, and the whole world seemed to spin. Years in the making, coming undone at the threat of a goodbye that ended in a period instead of a comma.
You cleared your throat and the two women pulled apart. Melissa was panting as she tried to catch her breath. Ava only smiled like she had won the lottery. You placed down a tray with four drinks on the table before them.
“Two Negronis for the redhead with the banging body,” You winked, “And two Moscow Mules for the princess.”
Ava took the copper cup, pulling it in and inhaling deeply, “I didn’t know a skeevy bar like this actually had good drinks.”
“It doesn’t usual. It is just your lucky day that you have a very well-trained bartender who knows where old stock is and is willing to make two beautiful ladies sophisticated drinks,” You grinned, “Guessed on your favorites, but from the look on Melissa’s face right now, I think I got it right.”
“Here, let me…”Melissa said, grabbing for her purse, but you interrupted her.
“It’s on the house.”
“I heard in bars like this if someone buys you a drink they expect you to show them your boobs,” Ava mentioned casually.
You blushed, “You really don’t have to, it was…”
But Melissa had already lifted up her top exposing a black lace bra. Her creamy skin was covered in light freckles that were scattered across her cleavage. Her pink nipples were hard, pressing against the constraining fabric. They were round and large and perfect in every way. You let an audible gulp escape your lips. You had seen your share of boobs working behind the bar and you had barely been phased. However, there was something about Melissa and Ava combined that released something feral in you.
Melissa put down her shirt, smiling before taking a large sip of the bright red liquid, “Thanks again for the drink Angel.”
“I feel like I should thank both of you for the images I will be running through my head, making me unable to sleep tonight,” You joked, attempting to regain your composure.
“You leaving so soon?” Ava asked.
“Unfortunately, I have things that need to be taken care of, but know that if I didn’t, I would have spent the rest of my night in this booth.”
“When do you work next?”
You laughed at Melissa’s question, “Every day till I die, sweetheart.”
“Then we shall see you next time,” Melissa commented, making you smile.
“Till next time, then,” You winked and made your way to the back room.
Melissa and Ava watched you walk away until you disappeared. Ava then raised her copper cup, “Cheers to a new beginning.”
“Cheers to us,” Melissa replied, clinking her glass against Ava’s.
Ava hesitated with her cup inches from her lips. This is what she had wanted for years now. Well, maybe not the whole not having a job part. But the part where she got to be with Melissa and to care for her in a way no one else had before. Ava wanted to make sure that Mel wanted the same thing before she fully committed herself to this dream that had once seemed so far away, “If we cheers to us. Then I want to make it official. You are mine, and I am yours. Girlfriends. No more Captain Robinson. No more hook-ups. Just us. Together.”
“To us,” Melissa reassured her, squeezing Ava’s thigh with her free hand, “The only person I want to be with.”
Ava released a breath she didn’t know she had been holding. After she took a drink, she pulled the other woman back into her arms. Melissa giggled, and that soft look came back to her green eyes. Like walls that had been built up for years were crumbling slowly but surely. Ava had desperately needed this side of Melissa to know that she was real. That this could be real. She leaned in to kiss the older woman, and the rest of the bar disappeared. Lips clashing and teeth scraping, they stayed tucked in the booth for the next couple of hours. Celebrating the release of shared feelings and to reassure themselves that whatever the unknown held next, they would go together. A relationship that would now grow outside of work constraints.
~-~
Weeks began to pass from the first night at McShane’s, with Ava and Melissa stopping back in every couple of days. Some days, they went all out, drinking shots and dancing by the jukebox. During these moments, they were the most flirtatious with you, whispering naughty things into your ears and constantly pulling you in for a dance between rounds. Some days they sat at the bar making bets with you about the shenanigans that would unfold over your shift. This is when you got to learn the laugh that crinkled Melissa’s nose right before she snorted. Or the way that Ava often laughed with her whole body when she thought something was particularly funny. But the days that you loved the most were the ones spent back in the corner both that had become a safe spot for the three of you. Melissa sipping on water grading papers with one red pen tucked in her ponytail and the other one hanging out of the corner of her mouth. Ava, on the other side of the table, typing away on her computer as she tested out lines and ideas for her next public speaking appearance. When you got off you would join them pencil scratching against paper as you wrote out a book you were determined to get published one day. You had even convinced the kitchen staff to heat up Melissa’s leftovers as long as there was enough for each of them to have a plate. You knew that secretly Melissa loved to cook for as many people as possible bringing a little more food each time.
It was an easy relationship that unfolded between the three of you. Light flirting, teasing, and even the occasional Angel from Melissa and Ava when they wanted to get your attention. Then every night before they packed up to go home they would kiss you on the cheek telling you to dream well. No numbers were exchanged, just a promise that they would come back and you would be waiting for them. An arrangement that suited you just fine for the moment. Heart still scarred from your past to be able to accept more than bits and pieces. So you would watch them leave hand in hand and hope that one day you would be whole enough to have what they did.
~-~
One night, you were working behind the bar when Ava and Melissa came in, hands clasped and smiles apparent across their faces. Ava was in a striped burgundy pant suit that dipped just enough to expose her cleavage. Melissa was in a shirt with Ava’s name across it in pink script, her curls kissing her shoulders.They sat at their usual spot at the end of the bar and you were immediately drawn to them.
“What can I get you beautiful ladies today?” You asked leaning over the bar top.
“Your finest bottle of champagne, if you have one. We are celebrating,” Ava grinned, “With three glasses cause you are in on this too.”
“What are we celebrating today?”
When you came back with a large bottle and three flutes Melissa explained, “Ava got a contract for more speaking apperances long term with a large advance and future travel stipends. She was amazing. A true inspiration.”
“And Red here cracked my filing system back at Abbott,” The young woman said, draping a protective arm on her thigh, “Although she could have just asked me and I would have told her.”
“And miss out on watching seasons of Survivor and being able to bond with Gregory a little bit. Absolutely not,” Melissa grinned and then kissed Ava on the cheek.
“Sounds like amazing things to celebrate but the real question is where is my shirt?” You wondered passing out the champagne flutes.
Melissa dug in her purse pulling out a matching shirt in your size, “You didn’t think we forgot about you right Angel?”
Your heart melted as you took the shirt the soft fabric running through your fingers. You didn’t realize how much you had needed to hear those words. You took off your plain black tank top shoving it into Melissa’s purse. The time it took you to pull the other shirt over gave Ava and Meissa ample time to look at the purple bralette that laced around your breasts. Your usual anchor necklace was still tucked securely in your cleavage as you adjusted your shirt once and then looked back at the two women.
“How do I look?”
“Like a million bucks Angel,” Ava said and raised her glass, “Now cheers to the small things and the big things that are still to come.”
You all clinked glasses and you downed the champagne with a smile the bubbles adding onto your happy mood. For the rest of the night anytime someone asked you about your shirt you were excited to share Ava’s good news. You were proud of her for how far she had come from that first night in the bar worried about what to do with her job now gone. Then, when Melissa started to get tired Ava easily convinced her to stay until your shift was over. That way they could spend as much time with you as possible. You had sealed the deal when you came out of the kitchen with a coffee exactly the way Melissa liked it. At one point Melissa tried to hand your shirt back.
“Keep it and think of me tonight,” You winked and for a second you could swear Melissa’s cheeks turned a bright red.
You worked the rest of the night proudly repping Ava’s shirt and talking her up whenever asked. More than once you would catch Ava or Melissa’s eye and give them a wink. It was ramping up to be an easy night before your phone rang. You rarely ever answered your phone behind the bar but the name made your stomach drop. Grabbing it you hurried around the corner.
“What is going on? I'm working behind the bar tonight I gotta hurry” You asked your sister.
“Umm there was a small fire at the apartment,” She said voice quavering.
“Please fucking tell me you didn't start the fire,” You groaned.
“No! Of course not. I can't believe you would think that…it was Tony.”
Your fist slammed against the wall into an award that shattered instantly. Glass cut your hand and you swore as blood began to drip down your wrist. You grabbed a wash cloth from a nearby shelf holding it to you.
“You have got to be fucking kidding me Becca. How bad is it?”
“Well… I think you could probably salvage some stuff,” Becca said casually.
“I'll be there in ten fucking minutes. Don't leave! And Tony’s ass better be there when I get there,” You snipped before ending the call.
You shoved the phone in your back pocket and rushed to the floor. You went to your best friend, Marsha, who was waitressing, and asked her to cover for you. You left her the tips you had already accumulated for the night and was fumbling in your locker to grab your bag when a hand landed on your shoulder.
You jumped but turned to see Melissa, her green eyes filled with an anxiety you hadn't seen before, “Angel what is going on? You are bleeding.”
You looked down at the towel stained in blood and wondered how badly you had been cut, “It’s just. Family shit. I have to go.”
“Do you need anything? I can get Ava.”
And your heart melted at the offer. You stuttered for a moment almost accepting the offer. But this part of your life was too messy. The last thing you wanted to do was ruin a night that was supposed to be full of celebration. To expose yourself to something that still burned to talk about. You were trying to put it into words when Melissa answered her own question.
“Don't want to ruin our night with your mess?” She guessed.
Tears welled in your eyes but you bit your tongue drawing blood to push them back, “I'm really sorry baby. I just… I can't ruin a good day with this. Let me hold onto my piece of this happy for as long as I can.”
Melissa placed a tender hand on your cheek, “Next time then.”
“Next time,” You promised and then rushed for the front door.
You stopped to kiss Ava on the cheek while she discussed her lecture with a rando from the bar. By the time she looked your burgundy bag was the only thing she saw before the door shut. Melissa returned to her side and a silent communication passed through their eyes. Melissa worried and wanting to chase after you. Ava politely reminding her that those who are chased often ran away completely. Admitting defeat Melissa grabbed for her purse and Ava followed a night of celebration cut short.
Outside Melissa looked for your car but it was already gone. A pout formed on her lips before Ava wrapped arms around her pulling her close. Red hair was moved to the side as Ava placed a gentle kiss on the column of Mel’s neck, “Baby she is going to be alright. If she needed our help she would have said yes to your offer.”
“She wanted to accept it! I could see it in her eyes,” Melissa groaned.
“Then we have to show her that we will be here when she is ready. Going after her now is going to spook her off,” Ava reassured her girlfriend, “Trust me.”
“I do trust you,” the older woman sighed, “I just don't trust whoever was on the other end of that phone.”
“Would it make you feel better if I look into it tomorrow and try to find more info?”
“Yes it would,”Melissa turned to nod and kiss Ava, “My little tech genius.”
Ava laughed placing a soft kiss to Melissa’s forehead, “Let’s go home baby. There is still much to celebrate.”
~-~
As soon as the door of Melissa’s house shut behind them Melissa was on Ava. Pulling down her suit jacket as their lips clashed together. Her red nails clawed at Ava’s shirt attempting to pull it up when a strong hand closed around her wrist. Melissa looked up to see her girlfriend glancing down at her fire playing in her eyes.
Ava leaned in to the shell of Melissa’s ear, “Slow down baby. Or did we forget who was in charge here?”
“You are,” Melissa whispered and the world around her began to sink slowly lowering her to that sub space she kept hidden from others.
“So we do remember,” Ava chuckled, “Now go be a good girl and get ready for me. You know how I like it.”
Melissa nodded eyes already clouded as she ran towards the bedroom. Ava picked up her jacket from the floor, hanging it up on a hook and slowly removed her heels. She was about to go to the bedroom when she stopped over Melissa’s purse. She pulled out your tank top tucking it into the back waistband of her pants.
When she entered the bedroom she could feel goosebumps raise on her skin. As instructed Melissa was naked spread out on the bed patiently waiting. She had a dazzling smile on her face. Curls fell onto the black sheets like wisps of fire. Her green eyes sparkled but there was a softness to them as well. Stripped from her usual hard exterior she looked like an angel sent down just for Ava.
Ava may be coded as the dominant in their relationship but there was no harshness in her moves, “You ready for me baby?”
Melissa nodded, “Always princess. Always.”
Ava grinned pulling at her shirt and tossing it into a pile on the floor. Her bra followed shortly after. She unbuttoned her suit pants but then waited, “Do you trust me?”
“Yes. Always.”
Ava removed your tank top from the band of her pants, rolling it up before pulling it taut. She stalked over to the bed and gently tapped Melissa’s wrists, “Above your head now.”
Melissa gulped as she put her hands over her. Ava looped your tank top around her, pulling the fabric through to make a knot. Once she was satisfied, she placed a gentle kiss on the insides of her wrists, “She did tell you to think of her tonight.”
When Ava pulled away, she finished removing her clothing and climbed onto the bed. Swinging one leg over the red head, she settled on top of her hips. She ran a hand down Melissa’s face, cupping her cheek before moving down her neck and between her breasts. Melissa’s breath hitched as she arched her back towards the touch.
“God you are fucking perfect baby. So fucking perfect,” Ava smiled.
Melissa blushed, and the cloud in her eyes began to take over even more. Sinking into a submission that was made specifically for Ava to bring her too. The younger woman looked down at the red head and knew that she was completely gone now. Ava leaned down, kissing her neck, occasionally throwing in a sharp bite. Melissa was moaning within seconds moving her neck to the side to allow Ava more access. Her body arched upwards chasing any relief as the younger one moved to her collarbones. That is when the first call came in. Mambo Italiano blaring from Melissa’s speakers and Ava burst into instant laughter.
“I still can’t believe that is your ringtone.”
“An Italian classic!” Melissa protested with a laugh, “It ain’t gonna be anyone important. The most important person is right here.”
“You trying to sweet talk me so that I go down on you faster aren’t you?” Ava asked mischievously.
“Is it working?”
Ava merely grinned and placed her lips over Melissa’s nipple before pulling sharply. The red head’s whole body jerked upwards as the free hand was placed on the other breast. Ava could have stayed right here for hours listening to Melissa’s pants. It was her favorite part of Melissa after all. The huge perfect breasts that the older woman constantly had on display. And there was only one thing that could pull Ava away from them. Melissa begging.
“Fuck. Ava. I need you please,” Melissa whined, “I need you inside of me now. Please princess. Please. Fuck”
Ava grinned against Mel’s pale skin and pushed a hand between their bodies. With one finger she spread the red head open and she didn’t know who groaned louder her or Melissa. But that is when the second call came in. Melissa huffed as Ava moved to see who was calling. Captain Robinson with a firetruck emoji popped across the screen. Ava’s blood boiled and she went back to the task at hand. She circled the red head’s clit hard and fast. Melissa’s hands came down to reach for Ava but she shoved them back above her head. Everything was moving in fast motion now as insecurity swirled through Ava’s head.
“Princess,” Melissa panted pulling Ava out of her thoughts, “Kiss me. Stay with me. Fuck me.”
A soft reassurance that Melissa had chosen Ava above everyone else. Was sprawled out below her a bumbling mess already. Something that only Ava could do. Ava pressed herself against Melissa, brushing her lips, letting it swallow all of her worries. She only delayed for one more moment before her fingers slid easily into Melissa. The redhead wasted no time bucking her hips riding Ava.
“So fucking needy,” Ava whispered into Melissa’s ear, “Is this what you wanted baby? To fuck yourself stupid on my fingers.”
“Yes. Fuck. Yes,” Melissa said eyes squeezing shut as Ava went back to kissing down her neck.
She was close. Ava could feel it as Mel began to clamp down on her fingers but then it happened again—a harsh light to cut through the growing darkness.
“Does he ever fucking shut up?” Ava growled looking at Melissa’s phone and the redhead whimpered as Ava pulled out, leaving her empty.
Captain Robinson’s name was once again flashing across the screen. It was past the point of him being ignored. And Ava was fucking furious. Melissa was hers now. Well was supposed to be hers and there was only one other person who Ava would ever think about sharing Melissa with. It sure wasn’t this prick. Melissa went to grab for her phone but Ava scooped it up with practiced ease. She yanked Melissa’s locked hands back above her head shoving them into the pillow as if it would glue them there.
“I thought you broke it off with him,” Ava commented silencing the call once again, “That it was just us now.”
“It is just us Princess. I tried multiple times to tell him we were done. I haven’t seen him in weeks, you can even look at my texts. He wanted to do it in person. Talk through things I guess,” Melissa said her hands twitching as she tried to keep them in their proper place, “Just turn the phone off.”
Ava debated it for a moment before she leaned down to the red head’s ear, “He didn't respect my baby’s wishes so now he gets to hear what he is missing out on. I am going to call him and fuck you at the same time. If you so much as think about stopping me or holding back any of those beautiful moans I love so much I won't let you come for a week. Is that understood?”
Melissa nodded and then gasped as Ava’s fingers slid in her harsh and fast, “I need words baby. Or I'll have to stop altogether.”
“Please don’t stop,” Melissa pleaded, “I’ll be so good.”
“You always are baby,” Ava reassured her kissing her gently on the cheek.
With three fingers buried deep inside Melissa, Ava made the phone call. It rang for only a moment before a gruff voice was on the other line, “What the fuck Melissa? I have been trying to get a hold of you for weeks. We need to talk.”
“I know you aren’t talking to my girl like that,” Ava growled, and with a curl of her fingers, Melissa was back to panting, “Try again asshole.”
“Who is this?” Captain Robinson asked an edge in his voice.
“The woman who is showing Melissa what a real orgasm feels like. You know something she never had with you,” Ava smirked and she felt Melissa tremble underneath her a slew of curses sounding like music to her ears.
Captain Robinson let out an audible gulp, “Is that..”
“Don’t even fucking think about it,” Ava spat, “I so much as hear you say her name. Or show up on her phone again I will personally come down to the firehouse and tear your dick off. She told you to leave her the fuck alone. Respect that. Am I clear?”
“Crystal,” He said fear laced in his voice, “Just leave my dick alone.”
Ava laughed, “Not that it was much of a use to begin with.”
The phone call ended abruptly Ava confident that Captain Robinson was left on the other side of the line with an uncomfortable hard on terrified to do anything about it and with the knowledge that he couldn’t fuck half as good as she could. It pushed the rest of the insecurities from her mind, and she fell back into the moment with Melissa. The older woman was already back on the edge again as her nails dug into her palms, doing her best not to lower them yet again. Ava could feel Melissa beginning to flutter around her fingers as Mel’s mind went utterly blank. But Ava wasn’t done yet. Not when a new image fluttered into her mind as she saw red fingernail polish tighten around your tank top. So she pulled out slightly to Melissa’s frustrated protests.
“There is only one other person in this world that I would allow to make you feel this way. Do you know who that is baby?” Ava asked tossing Melissa’s phone across the room exhausted from having to deal with it.
It bounced landing with a dull thud but Melissa could care less about it as she watched a layer of black coat Ava’s eyes with lust. She clamped her hands down harder around your tank top, a flutter of relief going through her as she realized Ava shared the same thoughts. The same feelings about you that had been growing in her chest for days. That you should be with them and only them.
“Y/N,” Melissa said confidently and a grin returned to Ava’s face.
“My girl is so smart,” Ava cooed and for a moment there was a flash of hesitation across her face, “Would that be okay baby? To share you like that. To share me. Us.”
“I trust you,” was Melissa’s instant response, “I want both of you. For all of us to be together.”
Ava’s expression softened further and Melissa didn’t know what turned her on more. Ava’s softness or the imagery of you and Ava both on the bed with her. Hands running over her smooth skin, tangled in hair, kissing down her neck, teeth nipping against her skin, hickeys forming along her breasts.
“World to Red,” Ava joked running her hand over Melissa’s cheek, “You get lost in thinking about how well Y/N and I could take care of you?”
Melissa could only nod sunk back into the safe place in her brain. Ava kissed her gently, “You are worthy of being taken are of Mel. You deserve a space that you can fall apart and realize you don’t need to be strong all the time. Let us be that space for you.”
Melissa whimpered burying her head into Ava’s shoulder. The younger woman didn’t push her to explain only let her fingers sink back inside the redhead. Her thumb made soft hard circles on her clit and she watch Melissa unspiral. Moans filling the room as she pushed her hands tight against her ears trying hard not to let them fall. After being brought to the brink over and over Melissa’s vision began to blur desperate for any relief.
“Who do you belong to?” Ava asked moving her fingers faster.
“I’m all yours,” Melissa panted, “Yours. Yours. Yours.”
She came on the third yours gushing around Ava’s fingers. It spilled onto the sheets leaving a small puddle but Ava only smiled. Bringing her fingers up to Melissa’s mouth the redhead sucked them clean. When she was done it let out a satisfying pop.
“I love you,” Ava said not realizing the words spilled out of her mouth until a shine crossed Melissa’s face.
“I love you more,” The redhead replied, “Now let me take care of you Princess.”
Ava had never uttered those three words out loud to someone she was dating. To burned by those who were supposed to love her unconditionally, to let her heart open that way. But Melissa was different. Melissa was the exception she had waited for her whole life for.
“Say it again,” Ava begged.
“I love you Ava Coleman,” Melissa said a smile playing on her lips.
Ava closed her eyes letting the words swirl through her brain and fix parts of her she forgot were broken. Once her heart settled, she reached for Melissa’s hands, untying the tank top gently. She placed it on the nightstand kissing the inside of Melissa’s wrists. Melissa shook them out gently and then pulled Ava in for a deep kiss.
“How do you want me baby?”
“Riding my face,” Melissa replied with a laugh, “Legs are still a little shaky.”
Ava giggled before sliding up the bed. She brushed away red strands of hair before placing her knees on either side of Melissa’s head. The older woman immediately wrapped her hands around Ava’s thighs, pulling her down onto her eager lips. Ava fell forward hands clutching onto the iron headboard. Melissa didn’t have to work hard to bring Ava to the edge sending broad licks and sucking on her clit. Ava’s whole body shuddered as she finally hit her peak. She went to get off Melissa when she felt the pressure finally release but Mel yanked her back down letting Ava ride the wave until it was dripping down the older woman’s chin.
Ava fell next to Mel, grabbing your tank top and using it to clean the redhead’s face. She threw it across the room, letting it join their pile of clothes. A blanket was pulled up around the two bodies, rapidly cooling down. Melissa wrapped herself around the younger woman placing her head so she could hear the sound of Ava’s heartbeat in her ear. As she caught her breath, Ava moved her fingers through the red locks of hair letting herself settle into the mattress.
“So Y/N,” Melissa said as their breaths finally calmed, “Can we go check on her tomorrow? And maybe talk about… I don’t know how to phrase it.”
“You want to see if she wants to be our girl. Together. The three of us,” Ava suggested squeezing the older woman tighter to her side.
“That doesn’t sound weird right?”
“Well, considering every time we go to McShane’s we shamelessly flirt with her, kiss her, and spend all our time with her even when she isn’t working, I doubt she will find it weird. She is basically our partner anyway just without all the fun stuff,” Ava said with a small laugh.
“Well she definitely needs to be a part of the fun stuff,” Melissa replied and then there was a hitch in her voice, “I never realized that I could have all of these feelings for one person, let alone two. But when she had to leave suddenly, it felt like that moment you got fired. Like the whole world was going to cave in on itself without her. I don’t want to be without her. Or you.”
“And I don’t want to be without either of you,” Ava agreed, “Everyone thinks love has to be this perfect thing with only one person. But there are so many different versions and kinds of love that can not be contained in one relationship or even a friendship. Sometimes that love takes place in more than one person.”
“That is why they give you the big bucks for inspirational speeches,” Melissa hummed and nestled under the blankets.
“I love you Melissa,” Ava said kissing the top of the older woman’s forehead.
Melissa’s response was a snore that made Ava giggle. She lay there for a couple of more moments, her mind wandering to what you were doing. Everything that she hoped for you was the furthest from what was actually happening.
You stood among the ashes of what used to be your apartment. Becca and Tony had fled the scene, and only a police officer was there to greet you. They had been making drugs out of your kitchen, and things have gone south quickly. When the first spark started, everything combusted and nothing could be saved. At least not at first glance. You promised the police officer that you did not know what was going on and as tears welled in your eyes she wished you well. You picked through the rubble to stand it what used to be your bedroom and found the loose floorboard that used to be underneath your bed. You picked at the board covered in ash and found the metal box underneath. It was untouched and you peeled back the lid with a sigh of relief.
A stack of cash you had been hiding from your sister greeted your eyes and you shoved it into your pocket. You pulled out the photo album, fingers tracing over the stitched lettering. Tears dotted the black leather as you reached back in for the final item. A silver token that had shamrock on one side and the words I love you more than all the stars in the sky. Good luck little sis. I am always with you. You kissed the coin before slipping it in your bra. It was the only thing that mattered to you and you had been a fool to leave it out of your sight for one second.
You made your way back to your car hiding the cash within the center console before letting the engine idle as you figured out what to do next. You desperately wished that you could text Ava or Melissa. That you had accepted Mel’s offer and let them come with you. All you really wanted was to be held and told it would be okay. Instead you found a parking spot behind a shopping center away from the main road and curled up in the backseat of your car. You fell asleep, tears still running down your face.
~-~
Melissa and Ava had attempted to go back to McShane’s the following day but were unable to as a crisis sprung up at Abbott that required both of their attention. This led to a couple weeks of preparing for the meeting with the district and the community pulling together to give Ava her job back. In the urgency of it all you hadn’t been forgotten necessarily just pushed to the side. For every time that Melissa and Ava tried to make it to the bar something else pulled them back. However as Ava placed her stuff back in her old office she knew that today was the day.
They drove to the bar humming along to the songs on the radio but when they pulled into the parking lot everything was different. A new sign hung over the door Hot Spot with a girl in a red bikini outlined on the backdrop. Melissa didn’t even wait for Ava to turn the car off before she ran in the door. She only calmed down when she saw you behind the bar like you usually were. But the comfort only lasted for a minute before she noticed what you were wearing. Gone were your corsets, vests, tank tops, and tight jeans, always in the colors black or grey. Instead in a red bikini top that left little to imagination and jean shorts that cut half way over your ass. Fingernails no longer painted red and black but a bright pink that seemed unnatural.Your rings which you always wore absent from your hand. Your hair was up in a high ponytail not a single strand out of place. The only thing that remained the same was the anchor necklace you wore around your neck.
There was a frown on your face as you moved from person to person taking drink orders. The usual light in your eyes is gone and replaced by a void of all emotion. Melissa rushed over to their usual spot at the bar, grabbing for your wrist. You went to yank away but you stopped when you realized it was her. Tears sprung in the corner of your eyes as you took in the sight of the older woman and Ava hot on her heels.
“Baby,” You whispered, “Princess.”
“What happened?” Ava asked looking around the newly revamped space.
“New management,” You sighed, “They made a lot of changes.”
Melissa’s eyes were still locked on yours, “Are you okay sweetheart?”
Before you could respond there was a sharp yank on your ponytail that sent you stumbling backwards. Ava automatically wrapped her arm around Melissa sure that the older woman would jump over the bar to strangle the man herself. You turned to look at your manager anger radiating up your spine.
“You know I have a name right. Y/N. Figure out how to use it and then you don’t have to yank me for my attention,” You spat out.
Your manager merely grunted, “Table 12. Man in the blue tie. Paid a little extra and requested you.”
You shook your head crossing your arms, “I already told you I ain’t doing that shit. This isn’t a strip club and I sure as hell ain’t your prostitue to pimp out. There is not enough money in this world to make me ride old man dick.”
“You are going to do what I tell you to do and shut that fucking bratty mouth for once in your damn life.”
You laughed, crossing your arms, “I don’t take orders from men like you.”
A scream left your lips as he wrapped his fist through your ponytail and pulled you to the ground. You fought against him as he dragged you across the floor and around the corner. Ava didn’t stop Melissa this time as she broke free and ran behind the bar. She leaned next to the ice machine and pulled the metal bat that she knew you kept tucked underneath there. Heels pounded against the tile as she chased after you. Ava dug in her bag, pulling out her laptop and typing frantically. Phone pressed between her ear and shoulder, she made various phone calls. The other people in the bar merely watched on like it was dinner and a movie.
Your manager had hauled you to your feet, throwing you into the office where your heel finally broke and your ankle twisted. Pain radiating up your leg you fell into the desk papers spilling as you tried to dig your nails into the side for purchase. You could barely breathe when the first hit came. To him. At the hands of Melissa.
You turned just in time to see her bring it back for a second swing that landed on his forearm he was using to protect his face. There was a resounding crack that echoed in the small room. He lunged at Melissa but pure rage filled her body as she fought on. Moving to the side he ran straight into the wall nose colliding with a glass picture frame that shattered. Glass went flying and Melissa turned her face in an attempt to avoid it. However this gave your manager time to take a piece that had fallen at his feet and swiped upwards. He made contact with Melissa’s exposed arm blood immediately dripping down her wrist.
She stared at the blood for a moment before her eyes went black. It was like a switch had been flipped leaving Melissa behind and allowing a monster to take over. The bat swung harder landing this time in his ribs. He doubled over in pain and she brought it through with an up swing landing between his legs. He screamed in pain and Melissa cackled a noise so unlike her usual laugh that you flinched. He fell to the floor blood now soaking into his shirt when Melissa raised the bat over her head poised for a killing blow.
“Red! Heel!” You screamed just as she was about to swing.
Melissa turned to look at you and her shoulders immediately went slack. Her green eyes still black you reached your hand out, “There you go Red. It’s me remember? Let me have the bat.”
Melissa turned to growl at the man on the floor debating if she wanted to surrender her only weapon. You tried to stand up to grab it from her but any pressure on your ankle made you hiss in pain. At the sound of your clear discomfort, Melissa rushed towards you. Bat still clutched in her hand tightly she wrapped one arm protectively around you. You moved your hands to cup her cheeks looking straight into her eyes.
“I know you are in there baby,” You whispered, “He isn’t worth it okay? Just give me the bat and come back to me.”
Melissa closed her eyes shut tight as if willing the monster back into its cage. You grabbed the bat, sighing in relief as it was released easily. You dropped it on the floor leaning to kiss the older woman on the forehead. She paused for a moment before opening her eyes. The usual green back but now filled with tears.
“I am okay baby, I am okay,” You reassured her wiping away at the few that had already escaped down her cheeks, “You saved me. I am safe now.”
“Now you aren’t,” Your manager grunted, wobbling to his feet, “You think I am letting you and your little girlfriend get away with this. No one disrespects me.”
He lifted a gun that had been holsted in his waist band and leveled it at Melissa’s back. You squeezed her close putting her head into the crook of your neck as if that would protect a bullet fired at close range. You heard the click of the trigger being pulled but it was the man who trembled this time. Pressed to the side of his skull was a silver revolver that Ava held with a steady hand.
“You threatened to shoot my girls,” Ava snarled, “No one threatens them and lives to see the next day. Drop the gun.”
Your manager gently placed the gun on the floor a dark spot forming at the front of his jeans. Ava looked at this pitiful excuse for a man and there was a steadiness in her voice as she continued, “You think you are some big hot shot because you control woman and make them bend to your bidding. But you are just some soft privileged asshole. Who has been embezzling money from his dad’s company to create his own nest egg. A nest that is slowly crumbling because you forgot how vindictive your father can be with those who steal from him. You were cut off forced to scrounge together your savings to cut an under table deal to buy this bar. Prove to your dad that you were worthy of the family fortunate. But when he didn’t approve and told you that you were exiled for your actions you murdered him. Thought you covered it up to…but I know where the body is.”
Your manager visibly tensed at this and Ava pushed the gun harder into him, “And this isn't your bar anymore. It’s theirs. To do whatever they would like with. I already called the FBI who should be arriving at any moment so all that leaves is a decision. Do we let you run? Or do we shoot? What do you think boss?”
“Let them chase you like a hungry pack of wolves. So that you may never know a moment’s peace. To let you feel hunted just like the woman you torment every day,” You barked and when he didn't move you yelled, “Run!”
He sprinted out the door running into walls in his haste but it was already to late. The dull sound of sirens blared in the background coming closer. You allowed Melissa to remove her head from your shoulder but she clung to your side as she turned to look at Ava.
“When the hell did you get a gun?”
“I borrowed it. From Marsha,” Ava said and in entered Marsha who took the gun emptying the bullets and restoring it.
She looked at your shocked face, “What I don't got two girlfriends to defend my honor. I have to protect myself somehow.”
You nodded in understanding before she asked, “Everyone cleared out already. So what should we do boss?”
The reality of being boss sunk in and panic rose in your stomach. Melissa was the one to step into your rescue, “Eat dinner. FBI is going to want to question all of us. So buckle in for a long night. Then go home and rest. We will reconvene in two days to discuss the future of the bar. We will pay double your normal tips till we figure out what to do.”
Marsha grinned, “Now this is some shit I could get used to.”
When she left Ava took off her tan trench coat and wrapped it around you. You smiled finally being covered from prying eyes and pulled both of them into a hug, “Thank you for coming back for me.”
“I'm sorry we didn't come before,” Melissa said choking back tears.
“Never again,” Ava promised, “You are ours now and we will never leave you behind like that again.”
“I like the sound of that,” You grinned as Melissa and Ava leaned down to kiss your cheeks.
Hours passed before the FBI concluded their interviews and allowed everyone to leave. During that time you had changed into your normal clothes still keeping Ava’s jacket wrapped around you. One foot back in your black converse and the other wrapped in gauze with an ice pack attached. It was sprained luckily but your mind was already racing with how you were going to be able to drive let alone sleep in the back of your car like this. This train of thought was pointless however as Melissa appeared with crutches she found in the lost and found. Her cut was bandaged and she looked unfazed as her eyes twinkled at you.
“You are coming home with us tonight. I'm not letting you out of my sight for at least 48 hours,” She demanded more than explained as she handed the crutches to you.
You placed them under your arms as Ava reached into your purse and grabbed your keys, “I'll drive your car to Mel’s house and meet you both there.”
A panic looked crossed your face as you remembered what your car looked like. Crammed full of stuff that had kept you living out of it for the past couple weeks while you looked for a new place. You tried to protest but a stern look from Ava silenced you. This is what was happening and this time you weren’t going to deny their help. Not again.
Melissa lead you to their car one hand gently on your back. Once you were loaded in crutches in the back seat Ava leaned down to kiss your forehead. She shut the door gently and then took Melissa into a hug. You watched their easy intimacy as Melissa kissed the younger woman deeply. When they parted ways Ava winked at the red head who blushed. Once in the car Bon Jovi filled the speakers and Melissa tangled her fingers in yours.
“I'm so sorry,” was all she said as she started towards her house.
“Baby,” You said squeezing her hand, “You are here now. That is what matters. There is no need to apologize.”
Melissa lifted your hand to kiss your palm her anxiety soothed for the moment. The inside of Melissa’s house was exactly what you expected. Cluttered with pictures and plants across every available surface. Leftover smells from the dinner she had made hours earlier. Her kitchen in immaculate shape with copper pans hanging over a marble island. It was busy but cluttered in a way that was organized and you could understand how someone could fall in love with space.
“Can I get you something? Anything at all?” Melissa asked pacing the kitchen rearranging already perfectly set spices.
“Get this damn make shift cast off so I can take a shower.”
“You are keeping that on for 48 hours like the medics told you,” Melissa tutted, “But I'll show you a trick Nonna used for me when I broke my ankle as a kid.”
She grabbed a trash bag and roll of duct tape from underneath the sink and with a jerk of her head you followed her. She kept one arm under your shoulder as you jumped up her stairs. You could hear her mumbling under her breath that she always knew these stairs were going to screw her over one day. It was cute to see her fretting over you already.
Once upstairs she stopped in the master bathroom and there was a pink blush to her cheeks, “I can…uh… I can leave while you get undressed if you want.”
“You won't take the cast off so you sure as hell are going to help me get these pants over it,” You joked and with a small jump got onto the bathroom counter.
Melissa shook her head mumbling stubborn ass as she approached you. She unbuckled your jeans and you lifted your hips up to help her. She pulled your jeans down stopping as the waistband hit just above your knees. She looked up at you pupils wide.
“Really no underwear?”
You shrugged, “Too many layers.”
Melissa’s face was now a bright red but she continued her mission doing her best to pull the jeans off your leg as gently as possible. You hissed a couple times but breathed a sigh of relief when they were finally a puddle on the floor. Melissa went to move out the room but you grabbed her hand pulling her back to you.
“You forgot clothes.”
Melissa took a deep breath, her fingers sliding underneath your shirt and pulling it upwards. Once it joined your pants on the floor you reached into your bra pulling out the silver token. You extended it out to her a small shake in your movements.
“Can you put this somewhere safe for me? I can’t lose it.”
Melissa didn't ask questions only promised she would and then pulled off your sports bra. You sat on the counter completely naked in front of her and all of her self constraint snapped. She rushed forward lips smashing with yours and you moaned. Fingers finding their way into red curls as you pulled her closer to you. Everything was going well until she moved and your ankle bounced against a drawer handle. You swore and Melissa pulled away in a panic.
“Oh shit I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you,” She rushed getting pulling your leg away from the drawer.
“The pain was worth it for that kiss,” You grinned and Melissa rolled her eyes.
“Shower then sleep for you. It’s been a long day.”
“More kisses tomorrow?” You pouted, sticking out your bottom lip.
“Tomorrow precious,” Mel promised, “Now let me fix this.”
She ruffled the trash bag open, pulled it up and tight around your knee. She wrapped duct tape around the top sealing it off from any water. You looked down laughing as she admired her work.
“You serious?”
“Dead serious. We were too poor for a real cast covering so Nonna improvised. Just be glad you only got that make shift one for two days. I had mine for 2 months. Many a trash bag was wasted for my showers,” Melissa explained,“You think you good to shower and I'll get you some clothes?”
You nodded and Melissa exited the bathroom. Once the door clicked closed behind her she released a shaky breath. She was about to go back in when Ava’s laughter filled the room.
“Caved first didn't you?” She asked with a quirking an eyebrow as she held out her palm.
“Fuck off,” Melissa grumbled and dug out a twenty to give to the younger woman.
Ava grinned but pulled Mel in by her hips, “Are you okay baby?”
Melissa sighed running a hand through her hair, “I'm okay I think. Pissed that it had to happen at all. We should have been there for her but life just kept getting in the way.”
Ava nodded in understanding guilt clawing at her own stomach, “Never again.”
She hugged Melissa tightly, kissing her forehead. She only pulled away when her phone rang. Looking at the number she moved to leave the room, “Have to officially wrap tonight up but I will be back soon.”
Melissa nodded digging through her drawers to find you clothes. She settled on an oversized Beatles shirt and a pair of boxers. You were out of the shower towel wrapped around you as she entered the room. Your wet hair fell in curly loops around your back and Melissa swore that this was the first time she saw you without makeup. Face clean eyes shining brighter than usual. You looked absolutely gorgeous but also exhausted.
"Here are your clothes," Melissa smiled and pointed at your necklace, "You always wear that even in the shower?"
You pulled the anchor up holding it in your hand getting lost in a memory before replying, "Yeah. My sister Bridget always told me that it would hold for a lifetime because she put her love into every chain and a sister's love never breaks."
"Sounds like an amazing sister."
"She was...she was," You gulped, "Is it okay if I go lay down for a minute? My leg is starting to hurt."
Melissa suppressed a sigh watching as the door you had started to open slammed shut once again. She nodded a response and moved out of your way. You navigated your way out with your crutches as Melissa looked at herself in the mirror. There were small flecks of dried blood on her face that she hadn't noticed and the bottom of her shirt was stained from where she had wrapped her cut. Moving to unroll the bandage she put the blood soaked cloth into the garbage can. The bleeding had already stopped with the cut beginning to close. It could have been worse she knew but she wouldn't have changed her actions for the world. She could release the monster to protect the ones she loved. It was the coming back from it she struggled with but you had done it so easily. Not letting her sit in the darkness of her mind for long. She could still see the glint of dark in her eyes as the monster tried to reach out but she ignored it and got into the shower.
Back in the bedroom you were about to go through the door when Ava opened in stopping you, "Where you going angel?"
"To find some place to lay down. It's all finally catching up to me."
Ava pointed behind you, "You are going the wrong way the bed is behind you."
"That is your and Melissa's bed. I can..."
"Plenty of room for all three of us. Go get comfortable," Ava said in the voice you learned left no room for argument.
She pulled back the covers and helped you shimmy into the middle of the bed. Placing the crutches against the night stand she leaned down and kissed you. The opposite of Melissa's hard and desperate kiss, this was soft and deliberate. A controlled movement that was so Ava that you didn't hesitate to open your mouth when her tongue swiped your lower lip asking for access. Your senses overloaded until she finally pulled away.
She kissed your forehead gently before pulling the blanket back up around your chest, "Get some rest sweetheart. You are safe here."
You merely nodded attempting to keep your eyes open as Ava pulled off her dress to reveal a navy blue lingerie set that hugged her dark skin. But soon the exhaustion caught up to you and you fell back against the pillow mind going blank.
A couple moments later Melissa emerged from the bathroom her wet hair making large splotches across her blue shirt. She moved to Ava who had just pulled on an Eagles shirt. The younger woman wrapped Melissa against her and they both turned to look at you.
"How can someone look so tired while sleeping?" Melissa asked looking at the furrow of your brow.
"Pretty sure she has been sleeping out of her car for weeks,"Ava admitted.
"Our poor angel," Melissa commented moving to the bed.
She curled herself around your back wrapping a protective arm around your hips. You didn't stir merely pressed closer to her as a snore escaped your lips. Ava crawled across from Melissa facing towards you. She cupped your cheek gently rubbing her thumb against your soft skin.
“Sleep well Angel. We got you.”
~-~
Taglist
@natasha29romanoff // @panerasbox // @milfjuulpod // @derpyavocado // @spicynoodlesxo // @yoyo-w // @cupldscntrl // @milfslvr // @babytakeittothehead // @liliapleasesteponme // @marvel210 // @writerspirit
Song Inspo:
#philly robin hood#check your warnings#crime lords au#abbott elementary#ava coleman#melissa schemmenti#avamel#ava coleman x melissa schemmenti#melissa schemmenti x reader#melissa schemmenti x you#melissa schemmenti x original character#melissa schemmenti x ava coleman x reader#avamel x reader#ava coleman x reader#ava coleman x you#ava coleman x original character#melissa schemmenti smut#ava coleman smut#wlw smut#Spotify
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Dean Winchester: Reading Recommendations
Because I headcannon Dean as a reader, here is a list of books that I think he would like. Some are directly referenced in the show, others are odes to America and a life on the road complete with horror, satire or complicated family issues. And, of course, some books manage to meet at the twist of the mobius strip where toxic masculinity and homoeroticism collide.
Books of Blood - Clive Barker
Imajica - Clive Barker
The Complete Poems - Hart Crane
Hard Rain Falling - Don Carpenter
Our Share of Night - Mariana Enriquez
Catch-22 - Joseph Heller
Iliad - Homer
Jesus’ Son - Denis Johnson
East of Eden - John Steinbeck
My Heart Is a Chainsaw - Stephen Graham Jones
On the Road - Jack Kerouac
Christine - Stephen King
The Road - Cormac McCarthy
The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter - Carson McCullers
Survivor - Chuck Palahniuk
The Moviegoer - Walker Percy
The Devil All the Time - Donald Ray Pollock
A Season in Hell - Arthur Rimbaud
Crush - Richard Siken
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas - Hunter S. Thompson
Cat’s Cradle - Kurt Vonnegut
Slaughterhouse Five - Kurt Vonnegut
Time is a Mother - Ocean Vuong
Leaves of Grass - Walt Whitman
Butcher’s Crossing - John Williams
#spn#supernatural#dean winchester#dean studies#book rec list#most hint at#destiel#and of course#bi dean#bisexual dean winchester#as always make sure you check out the content warnings#because some of the books are pretty 'rough'#Also I had to add poetry#I don't really think Dean could get over#previously mentioned toxic masculinity#in order to read poetry#but these poems would fix him if he ever did#most of these books would fix him#and break him#in unique ways#feel free to add your own recs#I'm always looking for new books
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pacing around at work. if a bunch of people have zombie skins (and last i checked joel still didn’t) this means we could’ve won this,
#im very sorry for the person ill become if joel wins this is your warning#pho.posts#AUGH#Jimmy didn’t have one either at last check… cmon…#wild life smp#namemc spoilers#smallishbeans
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This Donnie and Raph move from Owari, while short-lived, changed my brain chemistry permanently.
These two end up having THE BEST battle choreography in every series, you actually can NOT change my mind. Unless you're talking about the rise movie choreography
We need more acknowledgement regarding Donatello's strength and Raph's agility in this series, because there are multiple moments where this boy is dramatically spinning and twirling. I think Donnie can bench press a schoolbus if he tried.
#shredder get your dogs checked out those things are foul#tmnt 2012#teenage mutant ninja turtles#spoilers#yeah... this is literally the s4 finale lmao#video#flash warning#owari and requiem my beloveds (said while sobbing my eyes out)#PUT THOSE GRIPPERS AWAYYY#also this is so satisfying to watch after seeing how disorganized they were in earlier episodes...#the development regarding the unity of their fighting... their teamwork.... ouuugh.... im hungry....
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i was like you young adventurer, until i got bit by a tick. as it warms in the northern hemisphere and the tall grasses grow please take proper precautions. this has been a psa
also go get a sippy of water and a snack and go shower if you have not. brush your teeth too if you can manage
#brought to you by the fact my body is protesting today#take care of yourself and dont get auto immune shit. ok? ok.#check yaself for ticks i love you all#you dont wanna be like me okay ? <3 dont get sick#im gonna go listen to summer k-pop hits because i need a little red balloon to focus on cause im in pain today and cant craft#not a horse#to be fair it wasnt exactly the tick disease it was not noticing it was a thing. dont ignore your body#im certain they should teach you about MMS/alpha gal#its not really rare anymore i ask around and it seems like numbers rise. they only warn you about lymes though! bad!#MMS is so varied by how its expressed that its hard to know whats up cause it can express as allergic reactions OR food poisoning stuff#pretty bonkers i think
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