#checkadii

[checkadii]

Deep in the night we are waiting / holding our breath, letting go

[supernova-star]

love this animals…….. the pigge………………..

[c0l0re]

To this day I have so many Feelings about Yume Nikki, and especially its main character, Madotsuki. She is such a fascinating character despite the fact that she never says a single word or even directly shares her thoughts on anything. Just from exploring this girl's dreams, you can piece together so much about her life, her fears, people she knew and may have been close with or were afraid of, the list goes on

One particular interpretation I find very interesting and actually have myself is that Madotsuki is transgender, specifically a trans woman. The amount of imagery in Yume Nikki that can be easily viewed through a trans lens is astounding, honestly

Monsters in the shape of genitalia that feels like a visual metaphor for gender dysphoria and discomfort or even fear of her own body, the insane about of imagery that has to do with feeling watched and/or scrutinized, the very clear themes of isolation and feeling disconnected from people, themes of being excluded by others and being treated as a threat or generally something "wrong", there's a lot here to support this. One thing that especially jumps out to me is that one area where you can find a version of Madotsuki herself literally hiding in a closet

Also effects that change her appearance are very interesting here, especially ones like the "long hair" and "blonde hair" effects, as that seems like it shows Madotsuki having some level of dissatisfaction with her appearance, maybe that she's not living up to certain beauty standards, or that she isn't "feminine enough" in her usual presentation. Also the "fat" effect make me wonder about this, whether that be because she sees herself as too fat, and that effect is like the way she sees herself even if it's not the case, which would suggest some form of body dysmorphia and possibly even an eating disorder; or maybe on the other side, that she sees herself as too skinny, not curvy enough, thinks she's too small in general, etc. Effects like these seem to imply that Madotsuki has some pretty severe body image issues and doesn't like how she looks for one reason or another, and does very much read like a trans person being upset that they don't "look like" their true gender, or are generally dealing with dysphoria

The fact that Madotsuki also cannot actually talk to or otherwise meaningfully interact with anyone in her dream world also seems to show that Madotsuki feels very isolated and possibly unwelcome around others, or even that she's had a history of being excluded, pushed away, and ignored. Again, this reads like a trans person being perceived as "wrong" and being othered by the people around them, especially when they actually begin their transition. Even in her own mind, Madotsuki feels alone, unwanted, and excluded

Madotsuki is a heavily trans-coded character, and I think that all of what I've mentioned here shows that. I'm sure there's even more that you could read into even deeper, or other things I just forgot to mention that could support this even further, and I think that's just interesting. She's easily one of my favorite fictional characters ever, and a large reason for that is how she manages to have so much character, personality, and depth to her without there ever being a single line of dialogue, or any sort of conventional story or narrative structure at all

(Also thanks to @checkadii for inspiring this post with her response to a post I reblogged you're cool thanks for hyping me up lmao)

[melandrops]

yknow what those tma blog recs would be lovely actually if u have them (also hi it’s me jefferythejelly. sideblog moment :P )

i gotchu!

@mintytea-exe @yourbodymyarchive @ceaseless-sobbing @cult-of-the-eye @nerdypixel @cielle-b @murderandcoffee @vickozone are all friends of mine and their blogs are great

if you're looking for popular tma blogs, i would also suggest @late-to-the-magnus-archives @annabelle--cane @mag200 and @mothmansboywife

some other great art blogs include @dcartcorner @occudo @checkadii @kittengutss @lonelyslutavatar

hope this helps!

[clairebearsparkles]

Artfight: theketchup1

Artfight: Paperisbored

Artfight: CatEyeNebula

Artfight: saddestcookie

Artfight: checkadii | tumblr: @checkadii

These were so fun to make I cannot wait to make more!!!

[no0t2]

@checkadii

I literally just woke up so this is the worst time to post this but ngl I have this problem where I wanna talk about it but I blank so fucking hard and fall flat on my face that I end up not talking about it anyway out of sheer embarrassment.

I'm not good at structuring my thoughts properly either because of ADHD, but here goes I guess.

I usually gotta segway into the topic if it's relevant to the conversation usually via,, friend convo, I don't know how people do deepdives of characters and whatnot I can't do that. I'm not sure why that is, this always has been a thing for me where I've got some level of understanding and my own HCs and such but they're not written or anything, so I can't express them.

To me Postal is just a silly series (minus P1 and Redux), not to be taken too seriously. So I don't really think about the "lore" that it has so much. I can ramble about Postal: Brain Damaged tho, that's probably my favourite cos of gameplay... And the designs as well as the soundtrack. It's just such a good game, I never thought shooters would ever be a genre I'd like to play, as I was so against playing them (thanks Half-Life for opening up my eyes). I can say definitely with confidence that retro styled FPS are especially something I find fun? Not on intense difficulty or anything either, I usually can't go above normal.

I've listened to "Straight Outta Suburbia" for like over an hour straight, I'm pretty sure even during while I was drawing one of my BD sketches lol

Back to Postal in general, I frankly haven't done enough "research" on it where I can properly speak about it aside from the games I've played (P1, P2, Paradise Lost and P:BD) And they're all games that are super different from each other (aside from P2 and PL, but even then). I'd also say I'm still pretty new to the series, speaking as I haven't played all of the games yet. Frankly, I was planning to just stick to P2 and that's it, glad I didn't.

Postal 1 I remember making me feel all sorts of weird things when I both played it and after I finished it. The load up intro scared the shit out of me the first time I opened the game, to where I had to pause for a minute. And it kept spooking me each time I did open it. I think that was kinda the point of the game as it's pretty dark compared to it's counterparts. I won't get into the lore of the 1st Dude cos I've seen people pluck at each other's feathers over the interpretation of him. But essentially, guy looses his shit during an episode, starts killing everyone. (Or just, "hostiles", depends how you play the game.)

P2 is so wildly different (aside from the fact that you can shoot people) that when I first opened it I was so confused how I was met with THAT Dude. I was surprised to hear him talk more beyond than just "BLEED" or "Only my weapon understands me". At the time I was also wrangling personal fears and feelings(which I don't know if I wanna get into, let alone if people would even wanna hear it lol) over playing the Postal series, so my initial expectation towards the game was:

"Okay, I know this is going to have some offensive shit in it, there's parts that won't be fun probably." And hoped for the worst, surprisingly a lot of the stuff in it I didn't find that bad, most of it is definitely fucked up, but nothing I couldn't handle, surprisingly. I played neutral-y, so I only attacked whoever attacked me, but I'd bail if I had the chance.

Paradise Lost plays similarly to Postal 2 (as it's literally the same branch of game just in the form of DLC). But I've found myself enjoying it way more than Postal 2, mostly cuz I found some of the jokes in it actually funny.

P3 I haven't played because I got rick rolled by RWS on the website so I'm not gonna play it out of spite </33 (But I've seen gameplay)

Postal: Brain Damaged is like, even more different than the previous entries as it's a retro styled shooter. But it has the charm of a Postal game and MAN is it good, I think the fact that it was released more recently is what made me enjoy its humor more. And it just!! Is so fun in general like wow, I'm still processing playing the game and I've already been thinking of replaying it because of how much I've enjoyed it. Definitely recommend trying it out.

AND WOWWW this has gotten long oops. Sorry.

I wanna note tho that, although there are aspects of Postal I enjoy, there's a lot of them that I don't, namely the offensive bits, some of them are genuinely fucked up where I can't go past them even in a comedic sense. Which I think is OK. I still enjoy other parts of it :^]

[thecatspasta]

The KAYNEVERSE!!! Started this a few days ago, finished last night. If the anatomy looks off just remember human anatomy is a lie.

This was taken just after they did a bit of murder!! They wanted to celebrate!

Designs are by (going left to right) me, @pidgefudge, @sorrelfox, @checkadii, @nyxfaei and @trans-arthur-lester. Check out all of them they're all really cool.

[tamatama-kilo]

testing out new brushes that were shown to me by @checkadii

[checkadii]

may god strike me down if I draw him aga[explosions]

[checkadii]

“… you want to try that again?”

Me when mikecrewkisser drops banger writing snippets

[checkadii]

i dont have anything to say ffor this i just think it would be funny for freemind to try comprehend the implications

[checkadii]

Pov you’re getting your who torn bloody from your what

[checkadii]

And then they kissed

[checkadii]

RAHHHH

Mom. Mom look I DREW SOEMTBJNG

Still in the middle of very heavy bg3 brainrot it physically hurts me that I am in artblock. Been driving myself up the walls with how much thoughts I have about my tavs but how little I am able to express it via art HURGH

[checkadii]

we used to be happy, now used to be is all we've become.

-

i have two midterms tmrw but i need to get them out of my system before i cam cram information for four essays into my head

[checkadii]

amigo the devil album ......................................

normal and sane abt this guy. the bipple