#christmas eve in miller's point

[michaelcerasource]

Michael Cera is Officer Gibson in Christmas Eve in Miller’s Point. Coming soon.

[trendfilmsetter]

New image of Michael Cera in the upcoming film CHRISTMAS EVE IN MILLER’S POINT also starring Francesca Scorsese and Sawyer Spielberg.

[pascalispretty]

Old Holiday, New Traditions

Joel Miller x F!Reader

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 2.4k

Warnings: cowgirl sex, unsafe sex, Joel mouthing off during sex, established relationship

Summary: Safe in Jackson, Joel celebrates his first New Year's Eve in decades. (ao3).

Notes: My Secret Santa gift for @bluebeary-jay! Merry Christmas! My thanks as always to @misscharlielulu for her support.

Joel had never been one for a big celebration on New Year’s Eve. There had been a few parties with Sarah’s mother when he was younger. Later, he rang in the New Year with Sarah – sitting her on his shoulders to watch fireworks, or moving clocks forward to feign the moment of midnight for her.

After Sarah, he’d had no desire to celebrate. It was just another marker of time, the yawning gulf opening up in his life between her past and his present.

All the New Year meant to him was another year without his baby girl.

Yet somehow, between their arrival in Jackson in the spring and the approaching winter, Ellie had gotten him to look forward to it. She spoke excitedly of the party held in Jackson to kick off the new year. It involved weeks of preparation, and almost everybody in town pitching in to help. Slowly, the promise of the New Year was no longer something he dreaded.

And then there was you. You, who’d been in Jackson for longer and filled Ellie’s head with stories of New Year’s celebrations past. You, who’d somehow worked your way into Joel’s bed, and then his heart. He’s hard pressed to explain how you – bright, tender you, who still got upset when your neighbours’ cat left small carcasses on your doorstep – had taken to him so quickly.

Between you and Ellie, you convince him to attend his first New Year’s Eve in decades.

****

It’s late by the time the two of you head back to Joel’s place. It’s almost one in the morning, but the party in the Tipsy Bison isn’t showing much sign of slowing down. You’d left Ellie giggling in a corner with Cat, the two of them no doubt thrilled to have pulled one over on Joel about being ‘just friends’.

The snow crunches under your feet as you make your way home, your hand tucked into the crook of Joel’s elbow. The sound of the party carries far down the street, almost every resident of Jackson still inside. Only those on patrol, and those too sick to get out of bed, would miss it. It’s a celebration of surviving and thriving for another year.

“Make any resolutions this year?” You ask Joel teasingly. The air is cold enough to make your breath mist, and you shiver despite your warm clothes.  

“Yeah. Stop lettin’ you ‘n Ellie talk me into stuff,” he huffs.

“Oh come on. You had a good time.” You had caught him smiling at one point, watching Ellie dance with some of the other teenagers.

“Wasn’t terrible,” he says eventually. “Ellie looked like she had a real good time.”

“Yeah, she did,” you agree. “All the other kids seem to really like her.” Cat in particular, though you don’t say that aloud. It had been sweet to watch the two tiptoe around one another with all the hallmarks of an adolescent crush.

“It’s good for her. Bein’ around people her own age, bein’ able to have friends.”

“I still can’t believe Dina managed to get her to dance.” A smile tugs at the corner of Joel’s mouth again. His smiles aren’t frequent, but it’s a huge change from the intimidating, scowling man who had first arrived in Jackson over a year ago. Slowly but surely, you think Jackson is becoming his home.

In just the same way, his home is becoming yours. You’re spending fewer nights at the house you share with Dina and Rebecca. Ellie no longer reacts with any surprise when she finds you having breakfast at her kitchen table. You even keep a change of clothes tucked in the bottom of Joel’s dresser. You’d never ask Joel to put a label on whatever you are, but you’re not sure you need him to. As if to prove your point, he doesn’t even ask if you’re coming home with him; he just carries on walking right past the turn that leads to your house.

The noise of the party has long faded by the time you get to Joel and Ellie’s house; your boots crunching through the snow is the only sound you can hear. You and Joel stomp your feet to shake off the loose snow, and unlace your boots standing right next to the front door so you can step inside in your socks. Joel had imposed the rule about not tracking snow inside after Ellie had gone flying on the wooden floor left slick by snowmelt, and you’d both readily agreed. Joel takes your boots with him, doubtless to put them with his in the kitchen to dry off as you start taking off your many layers.

In just your jeans and a tee shirt, you make your way upstairs to Joel’s bedroom. The heat is on; it doesn’t take long for the warmth to come back to your feet and fingers. Turning into Joel’s room, you don’t turn on the main light. Instead, you light the candle on the bedside table, casting the room in a soft golden glow.

The candle lit, you move over to the record player in the corner. There’s a vinyl already waiting, so you simply switch it on and lower the needle. Soft, Spanish guitar fills the room. You’re flicking through the crate full of records when Joel’s strong arms loop around your middle. You can’t help smiling to yourself, resting your hand on his as he kisses the side of your head.

“Music, candles, you got me drunk…you tryin’ to seduce me darlin’?” He whispers against the shell of your ear.

“Tommy was the one who got you drunk,” you remind him. Joel grunts in acknowledgement, squeezing you a little tighter.

“My mind ain’t on Tommy right now.” He turns you in his arms, those dark eyes of his unfathomable as he looks down at you. “I’m more concerned with how I can thank my girl.”

Before you can respond, he leans in and kisses you. It’s a soft kiss, barely more than a peck. It’s still enough to send the first sparks running through your veins. Joel brings one of his hands up to cup your jaw, his large palm warm against your skin.

“You looked pretty when you were dancing, baby,” he murmurs, his thumb stroking your cheek. A derisive snort escapes you.

“I looked like an idiot.” Dina had pulled you in to dance, some variation on a jig that had both of you collapsing into breathless giggles by the end.

“You looked happy.” Joel kisses you again, a little deeper this time. The simple statement fills you with a different kind of warmth, and you make a contented sound against his full lips. You loop your arms around his neck, trying to get as close to him as you can. He holds you tight, and not for the first time you’re struck by the contrast in his sheer strength, and the gentleness with which he handles you.

The hand at your waist creeps below the hem of your shirt, sliding up to cup the weight of your breast. Even over your bra, his touch makes you shudder.

“Off,” he huffs impatiently, breaking the kiss to pull your tee shirt up and over your head. You start in on the buttons of his flannel shirt, doing your best to concentrate as Joel brushes your hair back over your shoulder and starts kissing your neck. His stubble prickles at your delicate skin and his lips immediately kiss away the sting.

The heat of arousal floods through your body, your fingers skittering over the small buttons. It takes you longer than it should to get the navy shirt off him, followed swiftly by the soft grey tee shirt he had on underneath. You can feel his cock starting to stiffen against your belly, and it only adds to the tingling sensation under your skin as your nerve endings set alight.

Joel steers you both back towards the bed, the two of you shedding your remaining clothes as quickly as you can. He settles himself into bed, leaning back against the headboard as he helps you into his lap. You sigh softly as you settle on his thighs, one of your hands curling around the wood of the headboard and the other finding Joel’s shoulder.

 “You’re so pretty, baby,” Joel murmurs, his hands warm on your hips. He pulls you closer so your hips are flush with his. His cock, hot and hard, bumps against your middle, trapped between your bodies. He crushes you close in a deep kiss, tilting his head to slot his mouth against yours. One of his hands slides up to caress your breasts again, touching you with increasing impatience.

When you break apart, he leaves you gasping for air. Precome smears across your belly as you press closer to him. It’s not enough. You feel uncomfortably slick and devastatingly empty; you let out a soft, longing sound.

“Need you,” you whine, your fingertips skating over his stomach to grasp his cock. The weight of it in your hand makes you shiver. Joel uses his grip on your hips to encourage you up, rising up on your knees enough to be able to notch the broad head of his cock against your entrance. A hiss escapes through Joel’s teeth.

“Fuck, you’re so wet.” He exhales a gasp into the side of your neck, his breath hot on your skin. He bites into the soft skin as you start to sink down on him. You inhale the scent of his hair, the soft curls tickling your face as he trails kisses and nips down your skin.

“That’s it,” he mumbles against your throat. “That’s it, good girl, take it just like that…” His hands help you move. As wet as you are, he’s so much that you can’t take him all in one go. You have to sink down slowly, impaling yourself with gradual flicks of your hips. Every thick inch of him strains your muscles, but the feeling of fullness is glorious.

“Oh, fuck, Joel-” you manage, breathless. He makes a hushing sound, smoothing one hand down the line of your spine. It’s meant to be a soothing gesture, but it only serves to wind you up even more, your nerves fraying at his touch. He flexes his hips, somehow driving himself in even deeper, and you whimper into his hair.

Joel coils one strong arm around your waist, his nose pressing against the hinge of your jaw. He lets you catch your breath. When you give your first, halting twist of your hips, he stutters an inhale, the fingers on your hip tightening.

“That’s it, sweetheart,” he says, his voice tight with need. “Ride me, go on.” He starts to move with you, meeting every slow stroke of your hips. Every pass of his cock stokes the fire in your belly higher. You cling to him, needing to be as close as physically possible. The room feels suddenly stifling, your world shrunk down to just your bodies on Joel’s bed.

Your pace had started slow, but Joel is beginning to move with growing insistence. The hand on your hip presses between your bodies. When his searching fingertips find your clit, you drop your head back like a puppet whose strings have been cut. It opens you up more to Joel, giving him easier access to the sensitive bundle of nerves at your apex.

“Need you to come,” he grunts, his thumb stroking across your clit. “Wanna feel you come on my cock.” With every thrust of his hips, he works his thumb across your clit, setting you alight from within and without. Every shift and touch pulls you closer towards the edge. He mouths at your neck, your eyes fluttering closed as you writhe on his lap.

You start to move a little faster, chasing the high of your climax. Joel matches your pace, the obscene sound of your bodies meeting filling the room.

“Like that, that’s it, sweetheart,” he croons. “Good girl, baby, take what you need…”

“Joel,” you whine. “Joel, Joel, Joel-” You say it like a prayer, chanting it over and over.

It’s not long before he sends you hurtling over the edge, your orgasm hitting you so hard that you barely manage to hold yourself upright. The tension that’s been coiling in your belly snaps, sending molten fire pouring through your body. You feel him covering your face with kisses, the sensation of it far away somehow as you come back to yourself slowly.

His thumb keeps stroking circles around your clit, dragging out your climax. It threatens to push you into oversensitivity, and you whimper pathetically. Your cunt clenches around his length, the muscles unsure whether they want to pull him in deeper or push him out. The fluttering of your walls must get him there; before your brain can catch up to what’s happening, he’s pulled out of you.

It only takes a few desperate strokes of his hand before he’s coming all over your stomach. You feel ruinously empty, your primal need for Joel not helped by the ragged groan he lets out as he comes. He sits back against the headboard, and you watch the rise and fall of his broad chest as he struggles to catch his breath.

“Sorry baby,” he mutters, his thumb catching a pearlescent bead of come before it can drip down onto your cunt. He reaches for the stack of rags he keeps in his bedside table for this purpose, carefully wiping away his spend. You’re too tired to wash properly; instead, you simply let yourself fall onto the bed beside him.

Joel presses a kiss to your forehead before rolling over to blow out the candle. Taking advantage of the movement, you curl up behind him, spooning him. For once, he doesn’t grumble and protest and claim he doesn’t like it. He just rests his hand atop yours, and lets you snuggle closer.

You look down to see if he needs help as he draws the blankets over you both, and you notice the window for the first time since you came home.

At some point while you were having sex, it started snowing. It’s coming down thick, the world outside the window only visible in shades of white and grey. Tomorrow, everything will look fresh and new, the perfect start to a new year.

“Joel?” You whisper softly.

“Yeah?”

“I really am glad you agreed to come.” You rest your head against his back. It takes him a long moment to reply, and you almost wonder if he’s fallen asleep on you.

“I’m glad I went. It was my first good New Year’s in decades,” he says eventually. You snuggle closer, his back warm against your cheek.

“Happy New Year, Joel.”

Taglist:

@avengersfan25 @misscharlielulu @apenny4thots @its-nebuleuse @irishavengersassemble

[justagalwhowrites]

Halcyon - Ch. 10: People Might Think You Care About Me

You and Joel spend the holidays together. A continuation of Halcyon from the prologue through Ch. 9, a modern no outbreak AU TLOU fic found on Tumblr here.

Again, I'm here begging HBO to give me something to use for young Joel PLZ

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Mention of dieting and diet culture. Modern No Outbreak AU, No use of Y/N, Slow burn, 18+ only, Minors DNI

Length: 5.8K

AO3 | Main Master List | Prologue | Previous Chapter

“I can’t believe my kid is going to like you better than me,” Joel said, sitting in the middle of the living room floor with a roll of wrapping paper spread out in front of him. “Scissors.” 

You handed them over before grabbing the tape, putting a piece on the tip of your finger before folding the paper around the box - a friendship bracelet kit - that you were wrapping for Sarah. 

“I mean, first of all, your kid already likes me more than she likes you,” you teased, turning the box to do the other side. “She has good taste…” 

“You’re the worst.” 

“Second,” you said, ignoring him. “It is a joint gift, you’re getting tons of cool dad points out of this.” 

“She’s gonna know it was your idea,” he said, adjusting the gift he was wrapping. “Hell, she’s gonna know that only one of us could have gotten tickets and it ain’t me.”

As if on cue, Swiftie - Sarah’s kitten - pounced on the box Joel was wrapping. 

“Yeah, this one knows, too,” he said, scooping her up with one large hand and setting her down. “I miss when she wanted Barbies. Shit was easier.” 

You laughed. 

“Be happy she’s excited about anything enough that she’s going to freak out over Taylor Swift tickets,” you said. “She’s about to be a disaffected teenager, enjoy it while it lasts.” 

“Yeah, don’t remind me,” he muttered, “She’s stubborn enough as it is.” 

“You’re in for it, Miller,” you said as your cat, Puck, climbed on your lap. You reached around him to finish taping the package you were wrapping. “She’s going to give you so much shit…” 

“What if she’s just like you, hm?” Joel teased. “Gonna have a nerd for a kid…” 

“Hey, I was a nerd who snuck out at night to go get drunk with the boneheaded jock,” you teased back. “You really want her to be just like me?” 

“Jesus, you’re right,” Joel shook his head, finishing wrapping his present. “I’ll have to keep her far away from anyone like me for the sake of us all.” 

You snorted and finished wrapping your own gift before scooping Puck into your arms, nuzzling into his fur and giving him a kiss on the head before settling with your back against your couch as you looked at the lights on the tree.

It was Christmas Eve, the first one in years you were spending without Gale and you’d never been more thankful for Joel. 

Last year, you and Gale were separated but you’d felt so alone that you’d texted him the afternoon of Christmas Eve and spent most of the night and next day in bed. You’d tricked yourself then, pretended there was a chance in hell of the two of you getting back together and things going back to the way they used to be. 

That hadn’t happened. You’d spent New Year’s Eve in bed, too. Except that time, you were alone. 

You’d been afraid that was going to happen for you this holiday season, too. You asked Anna what she had planned for Christmas, fully expecting her to want to spend the day together. She had other things in mind. 

“Honestly, ever since Mom died?” She’d shrugged. “I love using it as a day to just chill. Binge watch TV I’ve been meaning to catch up on, eat a pile of Chinese food, maybe take a bath… It’s pretty boring but I love it. And since I’ve got this little bundle on the way, I’m extra looking forward to it this year.” 

“Oh,” you forced a smile, trying to hide your disappointment. “No, that sounds great.” 

“Oh God,” she clamped her hands over her mouth, eyes wide for a moment. “Did you want to do something? I’m so sorry, I should have…” 

“”No,” you waved her off quickly. “No, you’re good! I don’t want to disrupt your plans…” 

“You can join if you want!” She said. “I mean, for everything but the bath part, that might be a little much now that we’re not kids anymore.” 

“No,” you said again. “You have fun! Tradition is tradition and you need the break. Maybe I’ll do the same.” 

You should have known that she would have her own way of doing things. You’d all but abandoned her during your marriage, sending perfunctory text messages and holiday cards and flying her up for a long weekend every year or so but, otherwise, you went weeks without talking. Of course she had Christmas plans that didn’t involve you. Why would she have any that did? 

Joel, however, had done what he’d always done since you’d moved back to Texas: Made room for you in his life. 

“Know you and Anna probably already got plans but,” he’d shrugged two weeks earlier. “If you don’t… want to spend Christmas with me n’Sarah? Tommy, too, assuming he doesn’t con his way into dinner at some girl’s house. S’OK if you don’t, just figured… I dunno…” 

You’d smiled, bigger than you’d really meant to. 

“You want me to spend Christmas with you?” 

“I want you to spend most days with me,” he shrugged. “But you know, we gotta go out in the world and make money and shit. Anyway, Christmas. You in? Could just move in until the New Year if you really wanted…” 

The last part wasn’t going to work with your obligation to go try to write a book once Christmas was through. But you had spent the last two nights at Joel’s, bringing Puck over to play with Sarah and Swiftie as the three of you watched Christmas movies and binged cookies. No papers to grade, no lawyers calling because your attorneys’ offices were closed, no pressure because you already had time set aside to write. You could really relax for the first time in what felt like an eternity and relaxing with Joel and Sarah was quickly becoming your favorite thing in the entire world. 

But all that relaxing had meant there was a small pile of presents that weren’t wrapped that needed to make it under the tree. It was Christmas Eve and time had run out. 

“You need to stop procrastinating,” you said, getting your egg nog that was now mostly liquor off the coffee table and taking a sip. “Can’t get away with that shit when you’re a business owner.” 

“Just watch me,” he teased. “Besides, you’re one to talk, you made any progress on that book?” 

“That’s what next week is for,” you said, giving the cat a kiss just as he started to get restless in your arms. You set him down. “Fingers crossed having nothing else to do will make me churn out the words.” 

“Wild to me that you make money from what’s in your head,” Joel came and sat next to you. “Not that I think you shouldn’t, if anyone should it’s you. Just that anyone does at all is insane.” 

“Well, I may not make money off it for long if I can’t write anything else,” you sighed. “Know what? Let’s not talk about next week. I want to live in this moment - the one where we don’t have any worries and the presents are all under the tree and Sarah is passed out - for a while longer yet.” 

Joel hummed in agreement and you leaned your head on his shoulder, sighing contentedly. You could smell his skin and cologne and there was still a little bacon scent from when he’d made breakfast for the three of you that morning. 

“Think she’ll have a good Christmas?” Joel asked quietly, the two of you watching the lights twinkle on his tree. 

“Hell yeah,” you smiled a little. “You really are an amazing Dad, Joel.” 

He scoffed. 

“I’m serious,” you peered up at him. “You’re lucky to have Sarah but she’s lucky as hell to have you, too. She’s going to love it.” 

“Speaking of parents… anything new in the Anna situation?” Joel asked cautiously. 

“It’s a girl,” you sighed. “But she seems to be keeping up with everything, thank God. Maybe I’m wrong, maybe this is the kick in the ass she’s been needing…” 

“Was for me,” Joel shrugged, making your head rise with his shoulder. 

You sighed again. 

“Just seems like an awful lot to put on a kid,” you said. “And you might have been young and dumb but you didn’t have the shit Anna’s got on her plate. It’s a bit of a different story with her.” 

“She might surprise you. But either way, we’ll make up a room for the little sucker here,” Joel said. “Just to be safe.” 

“Regardless, that’s next year Goldie and Joel’s problem,” you said. “And thank fuck for that.” 

“Yeah, fuck those two,” you could hear the smile on Joel’s voice. “Let’s put the wrapping paper away and go to bed, something about Santa and knowing when you’re sleeping and all that.”

You cleaned up the living room and tried not to pay attention to the nighttime routine you’d fallen into with Joel in the few days you’d been staying with him. You had your own sink in Joel’s bathroom, one that had your hair products and face wash lined up alongside it. You had your own side of the bed with your own nightstand where the book you’d been reading the last few days was nearing its end and waiting for you. If you thought about it too much, you’d miss it when it was gone. If you thought about it too much, it might seem like something you could keep.

Joel made his customary space at his side and you nestled into him, your head on his chest where you could hear his heart beat. His fingers trailed up and down your arm. 

“There are upsides to a kid, you know,” he said quietly. “Christmas morning is one of ‘em. Just wait.” 

You smiled a little. 

“Stop keeping me awake and we won’t have to wait long,” you said. 

Joel snorted. 

“Yeah yeah. Night Goldie.” 

“Night Joel.” 

Sarah came careening into Joel’s room before 7 a.m., slamming into the bed so hard that it made your teeth rattle. 

“Dad! Aunt Goldie!” She shook you both. “Wake up, it’s Christmas!” 

“Yeah, alright,” Joel groaned, taking his warm arm from its place around your shoulders. You groaned, too. “You stay here with Goldie while I go put the coffee pot on and get set up to record you…” 

Sarah groaned. 

“Seriously?” 

“Seriously,” he said. “Sit tight, five minutes.” 

You rolled onto your back and blinked the sleep from your eyes, Sarah bouncing impatiently on the bed. You lifted your head enough to look at her, curls sticking every which way, and you dropped back down onto the pillow with a groan. 

“You’re lucky you’re cute, kid,” you said. 

“Yeah, that’s what my dad says,” she said cheerfully and you could picture her smile as she did. 

“Alright, come on out,” Joel called from the living room. Sarah rocketed off the bed and you laughed as you got up yourself, trailing behind her and trying not to yawn. 

“Oh cool!” Sarah flopped down beside her stocking and started going through it as you got to the living room. Joel was sitting on the couch, his phone set up on a tripod in the corner and pointed at the tree. “These are those face mask things I said I wanted! And the headbands for soccer!” 

“I do pay attention now and then, baby girl,” Joel said, rubbing his eyes. 

“Don’t you mean Santa pays attention?” You asked, sitting next to him on the couch. Joel handed you a cup of coffee, made exactly how you liked it.

“I know Santa’s not real, Aunt Goldie,” Sarah rolled her eyes and gave you a look. “I’m 11, not a kid.” 

Joel snorted. 

“Sorry,” you said. “My mistake.” 

“Don’t spoil Santa for Goldie,” Joel said before reaching down on the ground next to him. “Speaking of which…” 

He handed you a fat stocking and you frowned a little as you took it. 

“You made me a stocking?” You asked, tears pinching at your throat. “No one’s made me a stocking since I was in high school…” 

“Then you’re real overdue,” he smiled a little and went back to watching Sarah as she unwrapped a chocolate Santa and stuffed the entire thing in her mouth. “Alright, let’s not eat all the candy in one sitting…” 

“But it’s Christmas!” She said, voice muffled around the chocolate. 

“Still gonna get sick,” he replied. 

You started unpacking the stocking, pulling two pairs of fuzzy socks out of the top. 

“Because your feet are always freezing,” he said, looking back at you. “Figured one pair for here, one for your house…” 

“Thank you,” you smiled, going back into the stocking. There was some of your favorite candy, one of the face masks Sarah had, a bottle of gold nail polish. 

“We can do a spa day!” She beamed. 

“We can,” you laughed, looking at Joel who just shrugged, a small smile on his face. 

At the bottom of the stocking was a chunky gold pen, thick plastic encasing glitter and you turned it over in your fingers, frowning for a moment at just how familiar it felt. 

“Saw one like the one you had when we were kids years ago,” Joel said. “Bought it on a whim, thought you might want it.” 

You wanted to say thank you but you couldn’t seem to make a sound, the words caught in your throat. Instead, you just threw your arms around his neck and he laughed a little when he caught you, his hand sliding over your side and around to your back. 

You stayed close to Joel and watched as Sarah tore through her presents, the envelope with the concert tickets safely in Joel’s possession. 

“Hey Sarah,” you said eventually. “Can you hand me that box under there that’s for your dad?” 

Joel frowned as Sarah got the box, setting it on the coffee table in front of Joel and hovering as he went to open it. 

“Didn’t need to get me anything,” he said. 

“Too damn bad,” you said. “Don’t get too excited, it’s nothing crazy.” 

He opened it. Inside were two shot glasses, leather wrapped with a monogrammed M burned into it. 

“I thought you needed some accessories for the flask,” you smiled. 

He laughed. 

“We gotta break these in,” he said, looking them over. “They even look like they match…” 

“May have gotten Tommy to send me pictures,” you said. “Keep going, one more thing in there.” 

He shifted the tissue paper before pulling out a cassette tape, frowning at it for a moment. 

“What…” 

“I know your stereo is old enough that it plays tapes,” you said, palm out. “Hand it over.” 

He laughed once but obeyed and you went to put the tape in, adjusting the volume so it wouldn’t be too loud. It crackled a bit at the start and then Joel’s voice - almost 20 years younger but still so familiar - filled the room.

“My name is Joel Miller,” he said. “I play guitar and sing, mostly rock, little country…” 

Joel gaped at the stereo before looking to you. 

“Is this that old demo tape we made when we were kids?” He asked. You laughed and nodded. “Holy… where the hell’d you find this thing?” 

“I kept one,” you shrugged. “Thought it might give you a nudge toward playing again.” 

The Joel on tape started playing and Sarah came and sat between the two of you on the couch, looking up at her dad. 

“So that’s you?” She asked. 

“Sure is,” he said. “Long time ago, I was closer to your age then than mine now.” 

“What’s it for?” She asked. 

“Well,” Joel looked over her head to you and smiled a little before looking back at his daughter. “I always liked playing, wanted to be a singer for a while. Goldie here talked me into making some demo tapes to give to places around here that had open mic nights so I could actually play for people. Worked, too. Had a few places I played pretty often for a bit in there thanks to that tape.” 

“Why’d you stop?” She frowned. “You were good.” 

Joel shrugged. 

“Bigger things to do,” he kissed the top of her head. “Though speaking of music… think there might be one more thing for you under the tree.” 

Sarah’s frown deepened and she went to look around, picking her way through wrapping paper and but not finding it. 

“There’s nothing over here, Dad,” she said. “Are you sure?” 

“Oh, right,” Joel said, giving you a wink and pulling the envelope out of the pocket of his pajama pants. “Here it is.” 

She jumped over some of the boxes scattered over the floor and took the envelope from him, her eyebrows knitting together as she read the writing on the front. 

“To the swiftest music fan?” She said, looking up from the envelope and at the two of you. 

You just shrugged. 

“Gonna have to open it, kiddo,” Joel said. 

She slipped her fingers below the seal and pulled out the card, two pieces of paper falling to the ground before she had a chance to read it. She picked them up and unfolded them, reading the first one. 

“It says we have a hotel room in Dallas?” She looked at Joel. 

“Gotta read the other paper, baby girl,” he said. “That’s the important one. And the one from Aunt Goldie.” 

She flipped to that page next and only held it for a moment before shrieking and throwing herself at you, knocking you back into the couch. 

“You got Eras Tour tickets?” She pulled back, half on top of you and half on the couch. You just laughed and nodded. “Oh my GOD, thank you thank you thank you, you’re the best! OH MY GOD!” 

“Well your dad is the one getting us there and making sure we have a place to stay,” you said. “So hug him, too.” 

“Thank you!” She threw herself at him, too, and he laughed, catching her and giving her a squeeze. “This is the best present ever, it’s going to be the best time, I can’t wait! We’re going to see Taylor Swift! Oh my GOD, I have to tell my friends!” 

She shot off to her room to get her phone and Joel laughed, looking over at you. 

“OK I don’t even care that she likes you better n’me now,” he said. “She’s that happy? Worth it.” 

“We’ll see how we feel after a few days wrangling her for the Taylor Swift concert,” you said, watching where she’d disappeared up the stairs. “But… yeah, definitely worth it.” 

“Hey,” Joel said, voice oddly earnest. You looked over at him. “Thanks for loving my kid.” 

You smiled a little. 

“She’s yours,” you said. “How could I not?” 

Tommy came over a few hours later, once the turkey was in the oven and the wrapping paper was cleaned up off the floor. He gave Sarah a five pound bag of Sour Patch Kids and said “don’t tell your dad” before kissing the top of her head as she scampered off to stash her hoard in her room. He greeted you with a hug with a tight squeeze on the end and you still couldn’t quite get used to just how adult he was. There was part of you that still saw him as the little kid who trailed after you and Joel, the one who sometimes begged to go to Dairy Queen for a Blizzard. Now, he was nearly as tall as his older brother, drinking a beer and talking to Joel about a woman named Maria he’d just started dating. It was an odd reminder of just how much time you’d lost with Joel, just how much had changed. 

The four of you had dinner - Tommy teasing Sarah more like a loving older brother than an uncle, making you smile - and, before too long, the day was done. 

Sarah insisted on listening to Taylor Swift while she got ready for bed and Joel read to her from an Artemis Fowl book, you eavesdropping on Joel doing the voices from your place in the living room while the cats curled up around you. 

A keen sense of belonging settled over you then, as you held a mug of cocoa in one hand and the other rested on the back of your large, orange cat. This, you thought, was where you belonged. In this space, in this time, alongside these people. 

How could you ever hope to find this anywhere else? How were you ever supposed to recover from this stubborn crush if Joel was the place you felt most like home? 

“You OK?” Joel asked, hovering toward the top of the stairs, his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants. 

“Yeah,” you smiled and gave Puck a scratch and let yourself have the feeling. “I’m good.” 

You got up early the next morning, Joel barely awake enough to help carry your bags to the car. 

“See you New Year’s Eve,” he said, his hands in the pockets of his pajama pants and his hair in total disarray. “Better have that damn book done by then.” 

“Do you really think you can write an entire book in a week?” You asked, brows raised. 

“I dunno,” he said. “You’re the smart one, you tell me.” 

You rolled your eyes and he laughed a little. 

“Alright, I’m goin’ back to bed,” he said. “Text me when you get there, have fun being a genius.” 

“Hey,” you called to him as he made it halfway back up his walk. He turned to face you, frowning slightly. “Thanks. For being my friend.” 

An expression you couldn’t place passed over his face before he smiled a little. 

“Careful,” he said. “Talk like that enough, people might think you care about me and shit.” 

“Well, we can’t have that,” you said. “See you in a few days.” 

He watched you drive off and you made your way to the hill country and the cabin Stephanie had reserved for you. You’d insisted that it have extra bedrooms and a hot tub and were surprised that she hadn’t pushed back on it. 

“Whatever you need to get the job done, you’ve got it,” she said after sending you links to some cabins. “I’m just here to facilitate.” 

You stopped on the way for groceries, stocking up so you wouldn’t need to leave the house once you settled in. You went with most of your standbys for cooking for one and watching the careful diet you’d been on for years but then thought of Joel bringing you tamales and plying you with cookies over the last few days. Maybe he was right. Maybe you did need to live a little. You got the stuff to make the bagel sandwiches, too. 

The cabin was damn near idyllic, all stone and wood with huge windows looking out at the brush leading down to the lake in the backyard. The hot tub was set on the back porch, a fire pit in the yard and rocking chairs out front. The kitchen was large and reasonably well equipped and there were enough bedrooms that Joel, Tommy and Sarah could have their own when they all joined you for New Year’s Eve. There was even a desk set up near a window that overlooked the water and you set up your laptop and charger and got out your notebook with the pen from your Christmas stocking, arranging everything just so. 

“Alright,” you said to no one after you got the groceries put away and made yourself a cup of coffee before settling in at the desk to write. “Let’s do this.” 

And… you tried. You really, truly did. 

Day one, you got most of an outline done. Enough of one that you went to bed feeling somewhat accomplished and felt good treating yourself to a bagel sandwich in the morning. But then, when you sat down to work on the next part for day two, you weren’t sure you liked any of it anymore. You pressed on, anyway. Day three, you tried to write the first chapter and you made some decent progress, at least feeling like you were getting to know the characters a bit as you settled into the story. But, day four, you read what you’d written the day before and wanted to claw your way out of your skin. What were you doing? Why did you think you could do this at all? Had you ever made anything worthwhile on your own? Why would you suddenly be able to do it now? 

The text came through when you were taking a break for lunch, desperately avoiding the gnawing feeling of failure after days of accomplishing fuck all when you really had no excuse not to. You sighed and opened your texts, fully expecting from Joel or Anna or even Stephanie. 

It wasn’t. 

Hey Doll

You dropped your fork in shock and it clattered to your plate as you blinked at your phone in total shock. He was texting you. Why was he texting you? He hadn’t texted you in months, not since you’d left Rhode Island. Why now? Did you want to know? Could you resist knowing? 

Hi Gale

You propped your phone up against your half empty can of Diet Dr. Pepper and stared at the screen, waiting for the next shoe to drop. 

It didn’t take long. 

How’ve you been doing? 

Your hand shook as you replied. 

Alright. I like the new school. You?

He responded almost instantly. 

Not bad. Was just thinking about you. Miss you. 

You froze, your heart in your throat. 

He missed you. How could he just say that? The collapse of your marriage had been one of the most painful things you’d ever gone through, happening in slow motion as he pulled further and further away and you desperately tried to dig your nails in to keep him close. You’d all but begged for him to miss you for years and now he was just texting it to you out of the blue. How could he just say that? How could you pretend like it wasn’t what you wanted to hear? 

You went to his Facebook page and checked his relationship status, one of the upsides to being with an older man meaning that his social media presence was pretty limited. He was still listed as in a relationship with Carla, a woman he’d met in much the same way he’d met you. The thought made your stomach churn, that you’d been so easily replaced by the younger, thinner, prettier version who had been dropped on his desk, practically gift wrapped. 

You went back to the texts. 

How’s Carla? 

There was a longer pause that time. 

She’s not you. 

“Jesus,” you said, setting the phone down and closing your eyes for a moment. You tried to think, forcing yourself to be practical. This wasn’t the time or the place to be having this conversation. You couldn’t have this conversation, not when you’d just been sitting her wondering if you could do the only thing you’d ever felt like you were supposed to do without his help. 

I don’t want to talk about this now. I’m in the middle of working on my book. Maybe another time. 

You stared at the phone, waiting for him to respond. He never did. 

“Yeah, sure seems like you missed me,” you muttered, finishing your salad and cleaning up from lunch, settling back in at your desk to write for the afternoon, trying not to think about the very real possibility that your writing career had ended when your marriage did. 

“I’m losing my mind over here,” you said, breaking down and calling Joel on day five. “There’s only so much I can say to a wall, you know.” 

“We’re comin’ your way tomorrow,” he said. “Be praying for some peace and quiet once Sarah and Tommy are there, trust me. Still like pecan praline ice cream, yeah?” 

“Blue Bell?” You asked. 

“Course it’s Blue Bell,” you could hear him roll his eyes through the phone. “What kind of animal you take me for?” 

“Oh, my apologies…” 

“Anything else you can think of?” He asked. “I can always stop on the way, too, but it’s easier while I’m here.” 

“I still think it’s silly to buy ice cream an hour away and then drive it out here,” you said. 

“That’s what coolers are for,” he replied. “Stop finding shit to worry about. Just give the writing one more shot, see how far you get. Who knows, you might surprise yourself.” 

“Yeah,” you sighed, chewing on the inside of your cheek as you remembered your texts with Gale the day before. 

“Goldie,” Joel said, tone serious. “That all that’s on your mind?” 

“Stop trying to read my thoughts,” you said. 

“Tell me,” he said. “Or I’ll show up early and make you.” 

“That a threat?” 

“That’s a promise,” he said. “What’s goin’ on?” 

“Gale texted yesterday,” you said, fidgeting with the handle of your coffee mug, the coffee itself going cold an hour ago. 

“Gale?” Joel asked, tone sharp. “Fuckin’ Gale? The fuck did he want?” 

“I don’t know,” you sighed. “I’ll show you the texts when you get here, maybe you can translate them for me since he’s not making any damn sense.” 

“That asshole better not be making any trouble,” Joel said. “I will find him and kick his ass, Goldie, just say the word…” 

“I know you will,” you laughed a little. “But don’t worry about it right now. And I should let you go…” 

“Yeah, go write your book,” he teased. “Change the world and shit.” 

There was a knock at your front door and you frowned, staring at it. There was a window to the side of it but all you could see was a shadow. 

“Hey, Joel?” You said. “Hang on one second, there’s someone at my door.” 

“What?” He sounded serious now. “Were you expecting anyone?” 

“No,” you said quietly, approaching it slowly and trying to see through the frosted glass. You couldn’t make out who it was. “So just stay on the line and make sure I’m not axe murdered…” 

“Need me to come out there now?” He asked. “If you ain’t safe…” 

“I’m sure it’s fine,” you said, unlocking the deadbolt. “Probably just a neighbor, but…” 

You opened the door and peered out through the crack, phone clutched against your head. 

You still almost dropped it. 

“Hey Doll.” 

***

“Hi Gale.” 

Joel’s heart dropped. 

“Gale?” He said, pressing his phone tight against his head and trying not to yell in the middle of the line at the HEB. “Fucking Gale? He’s there?” 

“I have to go,” you said quickly. “Talk later.” 

You hung up before he had a chance to say goodbye. He tried calling you back but you ignored it. 

Joel stood there, staring at his cart for a moment, his head swimming. 

Was he freaking out because it was you and he didn’t want you alone at some romantic looking cabin with your ex-husband? Was it because he knew that you weren’t in a place to handle this right now? Was it because he knew - knew - that your ex was a goddamn predator? 

He’d bitten his tongue about that fact since you’d been back, that the man you’d married had been more than twice your age and you’d only been a legal adult for all of a month when he’d met you. It didn’t matter that it was you, that Joel had gone searching for you and found you there with him all those years ago, he’d want to beat the shit out of a man like that regardless of who it was. A man like that couldn’t be trusted. 

He especially couldn’t be trusted with you. 

Joel checked out as fast as he could, calling Tommy as he drove. 

“Hey, need you to do me a favor,” he said quickly. 

“You always need me to do you a favor,” Tommy said. “One of these days I’m gonna cash in.” 

“Yeah, who got you the only job besides the army you’ve kept longer than a week?” Joel asked. 

Tommy sighed. 

“Fine. What’s up?” 

“Need you to take Sarah tonight.” 

“Joel, come on!” 

“M’serious,” Joel said. “Goldie’s ex just showed up at the fucking cabin…” 

“Oh, not that fucking asshole from the funeral,” Tommy cut him off. 

“That’s the one,” Joel said. 

“Fuck that guy,” Tommy said. “He needs to stay the fuck away from her.” 

“Yeah, somethin’ tells me he ain’t gonna make that choice on his own,” Joel said. “So I need you to pick up Sarah and take her for the night. And bring me my shit tomorrow. I’ll text you the address where Sarah’s at, she’s at her friend’s playing right now, needs to be picked up about five…” 

“Yeah, I got it,” Tommy said. “Go save the day.” 

Joel drove as fast as he dared, not familiar enough with where cops liked to hide to go too fast. He pulled up in front of the cabin you’d sent him the information for a week and a half earlier. He’d have admired it, in another circumstance. He’d always wanted a place like this, someplace quiet where there was enough space to live a little, maybe hunt. A place where Sarah could run and play and get to know nature a little. 

But in that moment, he was too pissed to take it in. 

He grabbed a bag out of the trunk - pretense more than anything else - and stalked up to the door before knocking on it, his fist coming down in heavy thuds on the wood. 

You pulled open the door, a surprised look on your face and your ex-husband at your back. 

He looked just about the same as Joel remembered him from before. Tall but not as tall as him, a refined air about him that made Joel want to deck him, a smug look on his face. His hair was gray and his face was wrinkled and Joel fucking hated him. 

“Joel,” you said, staring at him. “What are you…” 

Joel did the only thing he could think to do, fucking Brad standing so close to you with a hand between your shoulder blades like he fucking owned you. 

“Missed you too much, baby,” he said, watching your eyes go a little wide at the word. “Couldn’t wait until tomorrow.” 

He reached out and cupped the hinge of your jaw, his fingers wrapping around the back of your neck and he tugged you closer, his heart beating so fast he was sure that your fucking ex could hear it. 

But he didn’t care. 

All he cared about was the way your lips felt on his when he kissed you. 

A/N: I mean we can all agree, fuck Brad/Gale.

But also... his presence does get results.

THANKS FOR PUTTING UP WITH ME! Love you!

[atticrissfinch]

My fluffy lover heart has a HC for MMITB where Joel notices reader being too lonely at the holidays (she bought booze and says she will pass it drunk) and take her to a Miller's reunion under the excuse of "nobody should be alone on Christmas eve", but he really want his mamma meeting her and giving a seal of approval. And yeah, he knows they are just fuck buddies... Right? Anyway, IDK what Mrs Miller thinks of her, but I know the reader will be shocked to see Joel's level of affection and attention to his mom, maybe she'll see him with another eyes? WHO KNOWS!

Ok this is so….🥺🥺 ok idk what happened here but I wrote a thing. THIS IS NOT NECESSARILY CANON!!! But…

I can 100% see this happening ok? Like for real. And I think Mama Miller would absolutely clock how reader is able to match him with her sass and she would definitely have her eyes on the two of them the whole time. And I think she would be a bit weirded out by the gap between them, but ultimately would be the “whatever makes you happy” type at this stage of his life. And as protective as Mama is about her two boys, I think she’d see something of herself in Sugarplum (sugarplum!!!).

She would probably end up elbowing Joel at some point Christmas night when Sugarplum is caught up in a rousing game of Uno with Tommy and Maria and Joel is helping to clean up dinner.

“So what’s going on there, Joelie? I see those moon eyes.”

And Joel just blushing and being like “Mama, knock it off. She’s just a girl who was gonna be alone. And I guess I just…care about her. A bit. She ain’t really got no one to go home to. I offered, she accepted. That’s all it is.”

“A little young for you, ain’t she, Joelie?”

“I’m just lookin’ out for her, mama. That’s it.”

And Mama just muttering as she scrubs a plate in the sink, “Better be lookin’ out that you don’t pop out another mouth to feed in this house, boy.”

And Joel just going beet fuckin’ red like, “Mama! I’m not—”

“Oh, yes you are. You can see it from fuckin’ space. Ain’t no one that fuckin’ comfortable around each other if they ain’t playin’ hide the weasel on the weekends.”

“Mama—”

And she just stabs a wet, sudsy finger at his chest and glares up at him. “You respect that girl, Joel Joseph Miller. You don’t do like your daddy did. She’s young, she’s still got that fire in her. Don’t you blow it out. Or I’ll have your sorry ass roastin’ in my fireplace ‘fore the good lord comes knockin’ for me, mark my words.”

And he just takes her hand, holds it in his, and mutters, “Yes, ma’am.”

And she nods once and returns to the dishes while Joel leans forward on his hands gripping the counter next to her. And finally says real low, “She’s different, I think. This one. Special.”

And she glances over at him for no more than a second before continuing her scrubbing. Then just says, “I know.”

[corazondebeskar-reads]

you know you never stood a chance - epilogue

you know you never stood a chance series

epilogue: maybe light a candle

series masterlist | prev chapter 

Joel Miller x f!reader

Words: 2.9k

Summary: It's Christmas Eve, and Joel hasn't come home yet. (this takes place about three years after the end of the main story.)

Warnings: established relationship, angst, christmas in the apocalypse, technically spoilers for tlou pt 2, mentions of breastfeeding (not as a fetish), found family, poor communication, oral (f receiving), postpartum depression, possibly violating child labor laws by using a baby as a plot device, pls remember I am playing fast and loose with both canon and the timelines lol

also on ao3

dividers by @saradika-graphics

It’s Christmas Eve.

Or, at least, according to the council. You’re not sure if anyone is really sure what the date is anymore.

But for all intents and purposes, maybe it’s Christmas Eve. The holiday is a thin, moth-bitten version of its former self, but you’ve never been the holly-jolly or the religious sort, so Christmas Lite suits you just fine.

Maria had invited you and Lulu to the mess hall for a big meal and activities for the kids. It was less of an invitation than an expectation, but you stayed home anyway.

And maybe it wasn’t fair. Maybe she wanted you there for the same reason you didn’t want to be there. She’s fucking tough, maybe the strongest person you know, but she has to be feeling Tommy’s absence today, too. It isn’t Aléjandra’s first Christmas, but likely the first one she’ll remember, which is worse.

But it’s more than it just being Lulu’s first Christmas. It’s that Maria had made a point of telling you that Ellie would be there.

You prepare to watch her leave for the night. The light pours in the window when she opens the shed door, and you know she can see your shadow haunting the living room.

You want Ellie to meet her sister. You dream of it nearly every night. But there’s no way in hell you’re doing it without Joel. It’d break his heart. You like to think she knows, at least. Someone (probably Tommy) had to have told her.

So when she climbs the steps instead of walking past, you freeze. Her knuckles rap against the wood, and you close your eyes. You can’t. You need to, but you can’t.

“Maria asked me to remind you that you promised to come by tonight,” she calls through the door.

She knows you can hear her. She knows you choose not to respond (but she doesn’t know you bite your lip so hard to resist that it bleeds).

It would be wrong. But the ache is so strong you’re convinced it must be a physical wound.

She leaves.

“There goes Ellie,” you tell the baby, as you always do. “She’s got places to be, but she loves you very much.” The guilt of keeping them apart makes you nauseous.

Maybe it isn’t true yet, but you think it is. You think, despite everything, despite the anger she harbors for Joel (and a fragment of that for you), that she already loves her sister. Even if she’s only the shadow of a sister spied through dark windows and across the street.

You wonder if she knows her name. Tommy had started the whole “Lulu” thing, and though it had grown on you now, it made you suspect he hadn’t thought to mention she had a real, full name.

Luna Luann. Luna, for Ellie, and Luann for Joel’s favorite tía, the one who smuggled them chewing gum and taught Joel his strong right hook when the other kids were picking on Tommy.

You’d take this secret to the grave, but you hated the name Luann. But when he brought up the suggestion, he had talked about her for nearly twenty minutes, and so you love the woman despite her name, just for the way she brought a little more of Joel out.

You thought they’d be home by Christmas. You’re trying not to worry, but worrying’s one of the things you’re good at. It doesn’t help that you’re still struggling. You’ve been told it’s normal, but these last two weeks with Joel gone have been so hard.

She’s cutting a tooth (her very first), and you can barely catch a break. You sleep when she sleeps, but it’s never enough. A few neighbors have been bringing casseroles still, and it’s the only reason you’ve been eating.

So, you think it’s probably understandable that you crumble after you watch Ellie walk away and Luna starts to cry. The lights are out except for the single candle in the front window. You keep it lit all night in case Joel comes home. A beacon.

If you had a widow’s walk, you’d be haunting it. But you’re not a widow—couldn’t be, you’re not even a wife—and he’ll be fine. He’ll come back.

Joel always comes back.

It might be Christmas Eve, and you’re slumped against the wall of your living room, crying in tandem with your infant. There’s nothing wrong, you checked. It’s so much worse that she’s probably just picking up on your mood.

You orbit around each other that way. She is the sun that you and Joel revolve around, but his absence has sent you both off balance.

The sun might be the more accurate comparison, but you usually like to say Lulu, your Luna, was your moon, and Joel was the sun. He disagrees. He says he’s the rock, and you are her light.

It was profoundly beautiful, but none of the concepts held up to the reality. The truth was that you were a constellation, but without Ellie, you made no recognizable form. Sagitta with one feather, an arrow that can never fly true.

When you settle down to sniffles and the errant tear, Lulu has fallen asleep against your chest. You creep upstairs and lay her in the crib squeezed between the bed and the wall.

The room was plenty large, and part of it had been set up as a nursery. But after she was born, you spent each night on the floor next to the crib.

Joel hadn’t been having that. After the first week, he sat you down and asked if you’d be able to sleep in the bed if she was next to you.

And then he just… built a second, smaller crib. One that fits right up against your side of the mattress. It was low to the ground, so all you had to do was reach down, and you could feel her little chest rise and fall, or scoop her up to nurse her in the middle of the night. She’ll grow out of it fast, but by then, you hope you’ll feel secure enough to move her to the big one just across the room.

You had been embarrassed. Didn’t want anyone to know. After all, mothers had been putting their children to sleep in different rooms for ages. But you weren’t afraid to tell Joel, knew if there was anyone in this town that understood, it’d be him (and Maria).

“Ain’t nothin’ wrong with keepin’ your baby close,” he said, as gruff and blunt as always.

When Joel comes home, he finds you that way. On your side, arm dangling into the crib with Lulu’s tiny fingers wrapped around your own. He sat down and gently tapped your shoulder, trying not to disturb the baby.

“What’re you doin’ here, darlin’?” he whispers when you stir. You blink up at him through sore eyes, then smile softly, sending his heart skittering.

“You’re home,” you say, extracting your finger and sitting up to reach for him.

He wraps you in his arms, lets you burrow into the nest of his broad shoulders. “M’sorry,” he murmurs into your hair, chasing the words with a kiss.

“Tommy okay?”

“Yeah, he’s good. Just hit some delays on the way home. Bridge was out. I thought y’all were going to the party?”

You don’t answer right away. You know he’ll feel bad. That he does feel bad, that the guilt eats a little part of him each day. All he wants is his girls all together.

“I was,” you mumble, feeling the tears prick with a vengeance. “But Maria said… Maria said that Ellie would be there.”

Joel’s arms squeeze you a little tighter for a moment. “Y’know I don’t want to get in the way of you talkin’ to her.”

“I know. But after last time… she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore, anyway.”

“She’ll come around,” Joel says.

It reignites a new round of self-hatred, that he’s sitting here consoling you. After all, she had spoken to you after their fight. Sat down and told you she wasn’t mad at you, that she knew he probably didn’t even tell you.

And he hadn’t told you, hadn’t clued you in, trying in his foolhardy way to spare you the burden of the lie. And you were mad at him for it; you’d had your own spat after.

But you weren’t mad he did it. Not one bit.

He can tell you don’t want to keep talking about it, and that’s fine by him.

“You miss me, baby?” he murmurs, a teasing brush of his lips over your neck.

You roll your eyes. “Oh no, did you have to go two weeks without gettin’ laid?”

He chuckles, dark and raspy, as he reaches to cup your ass and squeeze, smirking when you gasp.

“And you’re tellin’ me those little fingers were enough for your greedy cunt? Like ya ain’t droolin’ for my cock right now?”

You whimper. He’s right. Two weeks is too fucking long for either of you.

He tugs you properly into his lap, legs wrapped around his waist, before he just stands up and carries you into the guest room across the hall. It’s not ideal, but if you leave both doors open, you’ll be able to hear Luna if she wakes.

“How’ve you not thrown your back out?” you grumble as he manhandles you.

He tosses you onto the bed, already peeling off his clothes and pointedly ignoring you.

He’s halfway through tugging his jeans down when he stops and looks at you. “What’re you doing? Let me see ya, sweetheart.”

You’ve long gotten over how easy you are for him. You only hadn’t stripped yet because you wanted to work him up. “You can see me just fine. Or do you need your glasses, old man?”

He takes the bait, shaking his head, before looming over you and running his hands down the sides of his old shirt you use for a nightgown. He barely grazes your breasts, just brushing the tips of your hardened nipples and grinning when you whine.

“Up,” he orders, tugging at the hem of the shirt.

You lift enough for him to pull it off and flop back down. It’s your turn to smirk as he watches the way your tits bounce with deep hunger.

And then he fucking rips the along the side of your panties and pulls them off, throwing them to the floor.

“Hey!”

“Shut up, you can sew ‘em back.”

“I’ve already sewn that pair twice, Joel. You’re a fuckin’ menace.”

“Is that so?” Suddenly his breath is hot against your cunt, and you clench around nothing.

“Uh-huh,” you moan as he runs one finger along the seam of your cunt. “‘Cause you’re a menace.”

“Only for you, darlin’.”

You laugh. “Oh yeah? Let me do a survey around town.”

He shuts you up by sliding two fingers right into your cunt, the stretch almost too much. Almost. But you don’t really notice because he buries his face between your lips, and any sassy remark comes out in a desperate cry.

He pulls away and gives you a warning look, head tilted. His free hand comes up to cover your mouth, thick fingers clamping down and digging into your cheek. It makes you moan, but it also muffles it, so it works out fine.

“If you want your turn, you gotta be quiet. Otherwise, I’ll just have mine and shut you up proper.”

You choke down the moan dredged up by the thought of his cock down your throat and make the saddest pleading eyes you can muster.

He rolls his, shaking his head, before he goes back to your neglected clit.

You’re close, so close when you hear it. You pat Joel’s head, sitting up. “Was that the door?”

The shift is immediate. Three years in town has allowed Joel to relax somewhat, sometimes, but he slips back into it in an instant. He pulls back, brow furrowed, squinting like it’ll help him hear better.

It comes again, louder this time, insistent enough for him to pick up. A firm knocking.

There’s a pause, but Joel’s already on his feet, pulling his clothes back on. He tosses your shirt over as he ducks out of the doorway and you’re slipping it over your head when whoever is outside grows impatient.

Rapid, furious banging rattles the door, and you dart across the hall to shut the bedroom, but it’s too late.

Lulu starts wailing immediately, her little face scrunched up, nose wrinkling, and tears pouring out faster than a faucet. You scoop her up and soothe her, cradling her as she finds solace for her hurt feelings and empty stomach.

Joel goes downstairs, partly to shut up the racket but mostly because the sound fills him with dread. When he opens the door, it flings wide, and the tirade begins immediately.

Ellie storms in, already yelling. “—could you? What the fuck is wrong with you? You won’t even let her come out for fuckin’ Christmas because she might see me?”

You’re going down the stairs as soon as you hear her voice, but she stops yelling when she sees you on the landing.

“It’s not his fault,” you say, face hot with frustration and raw hurt. You hate the way your eyes water.

“Like hell, it isn’t. Maria said you were going to come, that one of you might actually have the balls to tell me you had a fuckin’ baby, and—”

“And I decided not to go, Ellie. Joel wasn’t even home. He didn’t know.”

Lulu has started to cry again, distracted from nursing by your ire. You murmur apologies, kissing the little tuft of dark hair on her head, and try to coax her back to your breast.

Ellie’s eyes are wide, and feet planted, ratty sneakers dripping filthy snow across the floor. Her mouth hangs open as she takes in the tiny, ruddy creature who finally agreed to return to her meal.

“Hey, Ellie. We had a fuckin’ baby,” Joel says after the silence hangs for a minute too long.

The bark of laughter that bursts out of her looks like it hurts, but she can’t fight it. The tension dissolves into absurdity and then tears.

Ellie sits on the ground instead of the perfectly nice sofa to her left. You come down the stairs and sit beside her.

You look up at Joel, and he nods. You wish he’d come sit, but he’s too afraid to break the peace. “Would you like to hold your sister?” you ask Ellie, keeping your voice low and steady.

“Can I? I mean… what if I break her?”

“She’s pretty tough.” Lulu is done eating, just suckling for comfort, so you pry her off your breast and tug your shirt back up.

Joel takes her without thinking, leaning her against his shoulder to help her work out the air.

Once she gives a satisfactory belch, he thrusts her at Ellie, who’s startled enough to take her without thinking about it.

You all hold very still. Except Lulu, who is blissfully unaware of the strife and coos up at her big sister. She bats a little hand at her face, smacking her nose in an attempt to grab on. Ellie laughs, and her smile, her perfect smile that you haven’t seen in a year, breaks out.

You can’t help it; you start crying. Ellie looks up in alarm, but Joel shakes his head, moving closer to rub your shoulder.

“It’s not you,” he says solemnly, “it’s just hard, after.” He gestures at the baby.

“It is you,” you say, and Joel scrubs a hand over his face with a soft groan. “It’s—I’m sorry, I just—”

Ellie’s looking like she might make a break for it. She tries to hand the baby back to Joel, who refuses.

You get ahold of yourself. “It’s not bad, Ellie. I’ve just been waiting for this since she was born.”

Ellie softens and then scowls. “Then you should have told me. You should have told me you were pregnant in the first place. I said you could talk to me.”

“No, I couldn’t,” and you pause as she shoots a dirty look at Joel. “No, not because of him. Because I would have done the same damn thing, so you may as well hate me too.”

“What?” She seems genuinely shocked, which you don’t have the patience for.

“I would do the same damn thing. If I had been there, there would have been nothin’ in the fuckin’ world keeping me from getting to you, Ellie. Nothing short of death. Not then, not now. I’d do it for her, too.”

The room is stifling, and Joel hasn’t even lit the hearth yet. Your breath comes out in little puffs, and every one of you has wet, devastated eyes. Even Lulu, who looks like she might be the first to break into tears.

Ellie looks down and sighs. “So, Lulu, huh?”

“Actually,” Joel says, and chances a step closer, squatting down. “It’s Luna. Luna Luann. Tommy’s just an idiot.”

Ellie’s a smart kid. You can see the moment it clicks—the way she looks up at Joel with something akin to hope. It fades quickly, but you know he saw it, too. His own staggering heart, heavy with love unspoken, is betrayed in the way he has to fight a smile, choke down the relief. Maybe, just maybe.

Maybe next year, you’ll get a tree.

thank you all so, so much.

*title from "Alone This Holiday" by The Used

[covetyou]

is there any Santa/Cupid Joel lore you'd be willing to share?

it's a totally normal question i'm not unhealthily obsessed with him or anything

lore you say? I have baubles and stupid cupid lore. more in egg hunt at the end of March too.

word count: 722 warnings: sex toys, brotherly shenanigans, these two things are related but very much not in an incest way don't worry. summary: What started as a simple joke from the youngest Miller brother quickly turned into a... beloved brotherly tradition.

The first time he'd gotten one of those gifts it had been his birthday. He never got anything, from anyone, so when he opened his front door to see a present lying there with his name on it, he'd been wary. When he saw it was from Tommy, he was even more apprehensive. So, he did the only logical thing and left it in the garage until he could open it in a disposable coverall later that night, just in case.

Of course, he looked like a total dick stood in his garage in a coverall at midnight holding anal beads of all fucking things, staring at a chicken scratch of a note from his dearest fuckin' baby brother:

if you won't bring someone into your bedroom, maybe you gotta bring something. hbd brother.

Tommy may have been right, but Joel didn't think anal beads were that thing he was looking for. By the next afternoon, the beads were carefully hung from Tommy's rearview mirror.

And so began the long, tiring, tradition of gift giving and gift returning between the Miller brothers.

On Thanksgiving, Joel slipped Tommy a baggy of finger cots, giving him a heavy slap on the back and telling him he found his size. The next week, the tiny white condoms were neatly pulled over the ends of every single one of Joel's tools.

That Christmas Joel was the not-so-happy recipient of an edible chocolate Clone-a-Willy kit. He was almost tempted to try it out - to cast his cock in the tube just so he could take it out and look at it properly from every angle. He cast his middle finger instead, handing it to a gleeful Tommy on New Years Eve.

For Valentine's day, Joel damn near gave Tommy a heart attack, and ruined the end of what was, until that point, a very good date. He knew he should've kept it to the couch, but damn if his date didn't deserve the full Tommy Miller Experience. Apparently, that also included seeing the blow up sex doll tucked neatly into his bed. He never did hear back from her after that night.

Of course, what Joel didn't know is Tommy had stashed a pink heart shaped butt plug on his dresser, only noticing the thing weeks later when Sarah pointed it out before Joel could sweep it into a drawer and tell her to get going or she'd be late for school. Tommy groveled until Joel didn't quite want to kill him any more, and the butt plug lay forgotten in the bottom of his sock drawer.

Tommy's birthday brought him some vibrating nipple clamps - clamps that Joel never saw or heard about again, save for a thank you and a thumbs up from his brother one day on a job.

For his birthday that year, a full 365 days since this whole thing started, Joel received maybe the most baffling gift of all. A dildo for his balls. Apparently. Now, Joel wasn't a church going man - hadn't been since their parents had given up with it all when they were kids - but he couldn't help but think that maybe his brother needed Jesus.

This one, he was almost tempted to keep. Not that he had anyone to use it with, and it most definitely was not a solo use gift. He opened it, tried to figure it out, even watched the instructional video, before settling on sticking it on top of Tommy's Christmas tree at the end of the year.

But, when he pulled up outside Tommy's place on Christmas Eve it looked, and sounded, like he had company. Not one to cockblock his brother again (at least one of them was gettin' laid) Joel headed back home, toy hidden away in his Santa sack. It was still the right side of midnight when he drove down his street, noticing once again that house with the sparkling Christmas tree, totally bare of any decorations. One look to the back of his truck, ornaments from a house clearance still stashed in a box that he had yet to find a home for, and he made up his mind. Parking up and walking down the street, draped in red velvet with a bag filled with jangling plastic ornaments, he stepped up to your door...

[amywritesthings]

it's time to celebrate amymas !!

I have never done a fully-realized writing challenge, but I'm happy to announce that I have created my first-ever original holiday prompt to thank all of my readers, both old and new, for supporting me through 2023:

Welcome to The Twelve Days of Amymas!

From December 1 - December 31, I will be posting twelve original one shots with some fan-favorite pairings we have not seen in a while, as well as a few new faces. The short stories are all holiday or winter-themed. Some will have mature elements. See what's cookin' for the holidays below!

THE FIRST DAY

Din Djarin x Princess : First Snowfall (Chapter 16 of Point A to Point B)

THE SECOND DAY

Nanami Kento x Reader : Mistletoe

THE THIRD DAY

Joel Miller x Gibson Girl : Holiday Decorating (from the series: Seeing You, Seeing Me)

THE FOURTH DAY

Levi Ackerman x James : Snowball Fight (from the series: Silver Underground)

THE FIFTH DAY

Gojo Satoru x Reader : Holiday RomComs

THE SIXTH DAY

Eddie Munson x Reader : Holiday Lights Crawl (from the series: The Freak & the Valedictorian)

THE SEVENTH DAY

Dieter Bravo x Reader : Hallmark Movie Set Surprise (from the series: Same Old Mistakes)

THE EIGHTH DAY

Astarion x Tav : Winter Ball (Part 4 of The Better Strategy)

THE NINTH DAY - CHRISTMAS EVE

Armin Arlert x Reader : First Christmas

THE TENTH DAY

Kino Loy x Reader : Wish (Chapter 4 of Ownership of Mine)

THE ELEVENTH DAY

Reiner Braun x Reader : Gingerbread Houses

THE TWELFTH DAY - NEW YEAR'S EVE

Choso Kamo x Reader: New Year's Kiss

note: prompts and posting order are subject to change. asterisks are finished.

[michaelcerasource]

Michael Cera is developing two films, both of which he will direct. Gummy is the first project and the second is currently untitled but notes it’s “contemporary.”

The Phoenician Scheme also has 2 weeks left of filming.

[musings-of-a-rose]

More Like Home

Pairing: Benny Miller x f!reader

Word Count: 1300+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Fluff. Pure Benny fluff. Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

Notes: This is entirely @wyn-n-tonic ‘s fault. I told her I was in the mood to write fluffy Benny spurred on by a picture posted by Garrett himself (I’ll share below) and she came up with this prompt. 

The song is a legit song, performed by Garrett Hedlund himself. “More Like Home” is on Spotify and iTunes and I’m sure YouTube!

**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!

Main Masterlist

Benny Miller Masterlist

Benny had met his girl nearly 1 year ago at a New Year’s Eve party. No one thought it would work out, considering they met on a holiday where typically people already have someone or it’s just a quick thing.

Yet here he is, December of the following year, with the same girl that spilled her drink all down the front of him and proceeded to unknowingly feel him up while desperately trying to dry off the alcohol from the front of his pants. Benny loves her. Completely head over heels and can’t believe she feels the same way, even after learning about all the shit he’s done or been ordered to do in his life. She strong willed, smart, hot as hell, the total package. There’s just one problem.

Benny has no idea what to get her for their first Christmas. 

She’s the kind of person who buys it if she really wants something, which makes her impossible to shop for. Of course when he asks what she wants, she waves him off saying he doesn’t have to get her anything. And she truly means it - means it when she says that Benny is all she wants for Christmas. But Benny can’t accept that. 

She deserves the world.

Benny sits across from his best friend, Frankie, at the bar that night, always the first two to show up for their regular hangout night with the group. Frankie watches his friend from over the top of his frosted mug, taking a swig of beer before setting it down, crossing his arms in front of his broad shoulders, and giving Benny a look.

“What’s wrong?”

“Huh?” Benny was completely distracted thinking about the gift debacle.

Frankie shifts in his seat, his dark eyes taking in his friend. “You’ve barely said 2 words to me this entire time and normally I can’t shut you up.”

Benny gives a dry chuckle. “Nothin’ man. Just…got a lot on my mind.”

“Your girl giving you trouble?”

Benny shakes his head. “Not in the traditional sense.”

Frankie uncrosses his arms and sits straighter, leaning his arms on the table. “The traditional sense? Ben, what’s up?”

Benny traces patterns in the condensation on his beer glass with the pad of his pointer finger. “Nothin’.”

“Ben.”

Benny sighs. He knows that tone. Frankie won’t let it rest.

“I don’t know what to get her for Christmas.”

He mumbles it, nearly embarrassed to admit to his friend that he has zero clue what to get this girl that he hasn’t shut up about in nearly a year. 

Frankie chuckles, turning it into a fake cough when Benny looks at him. “I uh…sorry man. That’s gotta be…hard?”

Benny laughs this time too. “I suppose there’s worse things in a relationship.”

Frankie takes another sip, scoffing. “You got that right.”

“It’s just…she has everything she wants. Says she doesn’t want anythin’.”

“She doesn’t mean that.”

“Actually, she does. But that’s not the point. I have to get her something. What the fuck do I get the woman who has everything?”

“A new boyfriend?”

Benny throws some peanuts from the bowl on the table at his friend, pelting him in the face with a couple that Frankie couldn’t dodge. “Ha-ha. I’m serious, man.”

Frankie pauses for a moment, thinking. “I don’t know, man. Sing to her or some shit.”

Benny looks at his friend, trying to see if he was joking. “You’re..serious?”

“She know you sing and play?”

“A bit but nothing major.”

Frankie smirks. “Write her a song and play it for her. Chicks love that shit.”

“She’s not just some chick, Frankie.”

“I know. Which is why you gotta write a good one.”

Just then, Will and Santi walk up to join the group and the conversation shifts to sports and which girl they bet Santi will take home that night.

-------

He’s been quiet for a few weeks and his girl has definitely noticed. She keeps asking if he’s ok and while he assures her he is, she looks at him as if she doesn’t believe it. But how can he tell her he’s preoccupied writing the perfect song for her in time for Christmas?

Finally, Christmas arrives and she’s there, all dressed up and ready to head to his parent’s house for Christmas. He wouldn’t have cared if she simply wore sweat pants, and he told her as such, earning himself a smirk and a look. 

“I can’t wear sweatpants to your parent’s house, Benjamin.”

He loved when she used his full first name teasingly. Or in bed.

They had agreed to exchange gifts when they got back, but Benny couldn’t wait. There was no way he would make it through dinner and presents with Will’s kids there. It would take forever.

Shoes on, but as she goes to open the door, he gently takes her arm, pulling slightly back to get her attention. She pauses, hand hovering above the handle as she turns towards him.

“Everything ok?”

He’s sweaty, nervous. Blood pumping through him so fast it’s making his head spin slightly. 

“I..I am. I just…I have to give you your gift before we go-”

“Ben. I told you you didn’t have to get me anything. I have all I need right here.”

She turns fully and closes the distance between them, touching her lips to his while she stands on her tiptoes, fingers twisted slightly in the front of his shirt, just enough to pull him down to her. Benny wraps one arm around her, holding her to him while the other comes up to cradle her face. When the kiss breaks, his eyes, full of love, meet hers, seeing the same in her eyes.

“Please, sweetheart? I don’t think I can wait.”

She sighs playfully. “Oh alright. But if we’re late, don’t blame it on me.”

He smiles as she moves to sit on the couch. He disappears down the hall, grabbing his guitar and heading back out to the living room, sitting next to her on the couch as he picks at the strings for a moment, adjusting and making sure it’s in tune.

He clears his throat, suddenly unable to meet her curious gaze. “I..I wasn’t sure what to get you. So I wrote you somethin’.”

Taking a deep breath, he starts to play, a light melody for a few measures before he starts to sing, his eyes closing so he could feel the music, pouring himself into it.

But you feel more like freedom

Than barefeet in my backyard

You feel more like heaven

Than my bedroom window stars

And I guess it doesn't matter

If you can't go back again

'Cause you feel more like home

Than the house I grew up in

The song ends, his eyes opening slowly as his guitar becomes quiet. He finally looks at her, finally gathers the courage, and to his surprise, he sees tears streaming down her face, her makeup smudging as she tries to wipe them away.

“Sweetheart?”

“That…that was the best gift I’ve ever gotten. I…I don’t even…” Tears fall harder now and he’s not sure what to do. He expected her to just say thanks or a small smile and a hug. But this? Did he hurt her feelings or?

She gently takes his guitar from him, setting it on the coffee table in front of them. She shifts her body towards him, taking his large, warm hands in hers, her thumbs immediately rubbing the back of his on instinct. She takes a few breaths before looking up at him through wet eyelashes, black circles appearing under her eyes from her makeup. 

“I fucking love you, Benjamin Miller.”

He pulls his hands from hers, placing them on either side of her cheeks, using his thumbs to wipe away the mascara and makeup that have settled under her eyes. She’s the most beautiful anything he’s ever seen.

“I fucking love you, sweetheart. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, Ben.”

They ended up being late to dinner, showing up with smiles on their faces.

--------

General Taglist:

@frankie-catfish-morales @chaoticgeminate @janebby @astoryisaloveaffair @balekanemohafe @greeneyedblondie44 @hoeforthefictional @marvelousmermaid @Hauntedmama @giuliarogers-blog @icanbeyourjedi @diaryofkali @sunnshineeexoxo @livingmydreams13 @adventures-of-a-noodle @sara-alonso @theewokingdead @punkerthanpascal @giggly-otter @f0rever15elf @phandoz @dirtytissuebox @jadore-andor @gallowsjoker @lovesbiggerthanpride @sarahmilesbendrix @booksarekindaneat @mrsudontknowme @swol-bear @charlispersonallyhell @xoxabs88xox @amneris21 @gooddaykate @alindeluce @avengers-fixation @paintballkid711 @harriedandharassed   @ladykatakuri @marrianena  @practicalghost @withakindheartx @batdarkladyvampir @justanotherkpopstanlol   @mermaidxatxheart @alexxavicry @ichigodjarin

[popcornforone]

Gifting

I’ve not done this before but I believe this would be what 8 of the Pedro Pascal Guys would gift you on Christmas morning. A little bit of fun & some of you might not agree but this is what I think they would gift you underneath the tree.

Obviously some of these are not going to be minor friendly so best not to read if you are under 18!

Din Djarin

Din would look on (behind the mask obviously) & se you start to unwrap you small gift. The knot won’t undo so Grogu starts to use the force. You think it’s sweet but Din tells him off for not being patient. You undo the last layer of the brown paper & see that Din has gifted you some Beskar. It has his & Grogus emblem on it & you smile back, you are not a mandalorian. You then notice it has a hook & chain. Din comes & sits behind you & slowly clips in it place & you smile. Through his modulator you hear him whisper”your part of our clan now”

Oberyn Martell

You awaken in your chambers, usually a small bowl of fruit is waiting for you from your lover. But this morning there are 3. One filled with fruit, one with nuts & one with spices. There is also a large display of flowers in front of your mirror. You smile & slowly climb out of bed & see a note from your Prince. “I shall come to see you later today, to make sure you remember our day of celebrations”. Oberyn is a man of his word & satisfy you for an hour later that morning. He is greeted by his own gift of your naked body lying on top of the bed sheets.

Frankie Catfish Morales

Frankie is Sober this Christmas & remember to actually get you a gift. No last minute dash to a 24/7 store on Christmas Eve. Nope underneath the tree is that jumper you pointed out 3 weeks ago when you went shopping, plus a watch, yours stopped working a little while ago. You hold them up proudly & smile that Frankie has taken so much in recently. “Awww Frankie” you say & you scoot along the sofa & kiss him softly. “So perfect, you do listen to me”.

Joel Miller (pre outbreak)

Post out break Joel doesn’t even know what day of the week it is but pre outbreak would have spoilt you with gifts. Ginger bread house packs the week before to build. Flowers & plants for you to make a Christmas wreath with in advance. Candles for the Christmas table. It’s like he was doing his own advent calendar himself. But in the day he softly will wake you up & gift you a small piece of jewellery. It’s not much but it will be half his monthly salary. He’d slowly but on the bracket, neckless or earrings on you & then would pepper you in kisses.

Jack Daniels / Agent Whiskey

He’s probably on assignment, saving the world. If he is he gifts you a bottle of the next years Statesmen for you to have & save for the future. But if he is home he’s got you something to make your life better. This year he has got you an air fryer. You’ve heard the rest of the world talk about them & he thought it was a rather cool gadget. You both wonder if you can air-fry Brussel sprouts to see if that makes them taste better.

Marcus Moreno

Marcus feels sorry for you. He’s not been a good boyfriend, but you understand being a super hero is more important. So when he is not in bed on Christmas morning you’re a little concerned. But then I’m he walks. “Breakfast in bed for my beloved” he’s made pancakes, proper coffee, fresh orange juice & there is a large bowl of fruit too. “I have other gifts under the tree for you but I promise to be here more emotionally & physically this year” he says before he slips back into bed with you to eat the breakfast & maybe have some morning delight.

Pero Tovar

Rice. He’s got you rice. It’s what keeps him going. He’s grumpy if he doesn’t eat & it’s his favourite. So him buying you 3 bags of rice for Christmas means you don’t have to spend any of your money on it for the next three months, which you are secretly happy about.

Dave York

He’s given you a couple of standard gifts over the day in front of the family, but as you both finish putting things away from the day, Dave hands you a small box. No one else is around the girls are in bed, the in-laws have left. So when you open the box & you see the see through nightdress & new vibrator, you blush. “David!” You squark. He lifts you up abandoning the rest of the cleaning away. “But I’m not wearing it” you say. “I know” Dave replies “I don’t want you wearing anything while i fuck you tonight”

[bluestar22x]

Christmas In Jackson

Summary: Joel and Ellie join Tommy and Maria to celebrate Christmas (follows canon unless Season 2 contradicts it - probably will)

Characters: Joel Miller, Ellie Williams, Tommy Miller, Maria Miller

Rating: 13+

Warnings: Lots of fluff, some angst, and fowl language

Word Count: 2,250 (ish)

Author’s Note: This is technically a sequel of sorts to The Tree, but can be read alone since it doesn't make any references to it. Also note baby Miller being born in the late spring matches the show's timeline since Maria found out she was pregnant in September sometime (it's why Tommy stopped contacting Joel).

xxx

Celebrating Christmas on the twenty-fourth of December had always been the tradition in the Miller household as far as Joel could remember and Tommy and Maria had apparently upheld it in Jackson. They'd upheld a lot of the Miller family Christmas traditions, while intertwining it with some of Maria's family's too. One of those traditions she'd brought with her was gift exchanging.

"What's the point of giving someone a gift if you know you're going to get something back?" Ellie asked Joel one day at the beginning of December 2024, after Tommy had informed them of the gift exchange they were going to participate in. They were walking back home from the stables after a long day of school for her and patrol for him. "Isn't that just trading?"

"It is, sure," he conceded. "A gift exchange assures everyone gets a present. The point of it is that everyone gets something either meaningful or useful. It's about the thought put into the gift."

"So what are you going to get Maria?" she inquired curiously.

Joel had randomly gotten Maria to exchange gifts with and Ellie had gotten Tommy.

"No damn idea," he grunted.

He and Maria had slowly gotten on better terms over the course of the year as he'd proven himself reliable and trustworthy, only violent when necessary out on patrol. They couldn't be called close, but they got along. That didn't mean he talked to her enough to be sure of what she'd want for Christmas though. He'd have to ask Tommy.

"What should I get Tommy?" she questioned.

"Why don't you draw him something?" Joel suggested. Ellie had taken to drawing like a fish to water since they'd officially moved to Jackson, and she had the kind of raw talent that hadn't needed much tuning, just a little practice. "What about drawing William?"

William was Tommy and Maria's son who had been born in late spring, not long after their return to Jackson.

"You think he'd like that?" she frowned. "I'm not that good yet."

"Who told you that?" Joel growled, ready to share some choice words with whoever had made her doubt her abilities.

"Nobody," she replied quickly, "I just don't know if anything I make is gift worthy."

"It is," he promised her. He didn't think he was too biased.

"Okay," she said, though she still didn't sound convinced.

"You'll do fine," he assured her. "And if you're really not satisfied with what you draw, we'll think of something else, alright?"

She nodded, shoulders sagging with relief over not being stuck if she didn't like how it turned out.

"You've got nothing to worry about," he told her.

"If you say so."

x

Christmas Eve arrived faster than any Joel could recall, or so it felt, but he'd managed to find something to give Maria in that time and Ellie had made Tommy the drawing, and all that was left was to join them for supper at their house and swap the gifts after.

It felt odd celebrating Christmas like that after over twenty years, and there was a sting to it, because Sarah wasn't there to celebrate alongside them, especially after his eyes glanced her name on the memorial chalkboard above Tommy and Maria's fireplace, but Joel kept himself together for Ellie. It was the first Christmas she'd ever celebrated and he didn't want to kill the excitement she genuinely had for taking part in a holiday that was rarely ever noted outside Jackson.

They ate at the kitchen table, opposite of Tommy, Maria, and William, a whole fat chicken at the center of the table alongside mashed potatoes and green beans, followed by apple pie for desert. It was more basic than the meals Joel and Tommy's mother used to make when they were growing up, but it was the best meal Joel had had in ages. Both he and Ellie ate far more than they should've but neither could find it in themselves to regret it, as stuffed as they were. Joel made sure to thank Maria for it after and that Ellie did the same, knowing his sister-in-law had cooked all the food by herself before they'd arrived.

After supper William was put to bed and they all sat down in the living room (Joel and Ellie on the couch, Maria and Tommy in chairs) to watch Elf (which had Ellie in stitches) and to talk. Tommy, Maria, and Ellie did most of the conversating (mainly about their friends, work/school, and the animals), while Joel sat back and listened, when he wasn't distracted by memories of Christmas past and the roaring fire in the fireplace that threatened to lull him to sleep.

It was nearly ten o' clock when they finally opened presents. Ellie handed Tommy his gift as soon as she could, too anxious to wait any longer.

When he pulled it out of the box she'd closed it up it, he was clearly amazed by it. "You did this, Ellie? Without any help?"

He showed off the drawing. There was William in great penciled detail, giggling while being held in Maria's arms. She was beaming down at him lovingly.

"I did," Ellie said nervously.

"You've got some talent kid," he told her in awe. "Thank you."

"We're going to have to find a frame to put it in," Maria said, also clearly impressed. "Would look nice hung up in here."

"In the living room?" Ellie quizzed, surprised.

They both nodded.

"Oh, wow, I'm glad you like it that much," she rambled, looking like she was ready to blush.

"Told ya he'd love it," Joel said, grinning. He was so proud of her. He'd had no doubts she'd outdo herself, and she had by adding Maria in the drawing.

She smiled broadly back at him and the light in her eyes warmed his heart. They'd been through hell together, but to see her so happy was worth it all. At least for him. He only hoped she felt the same.

"Your turn," Tommy declared, handing Ellie a gift wrapped in old newspaper. "It goes quite well with the present you gave me."

She thanked him and tore into it, paper flying. She beamed at him when a drawing kit was revealed. It had one hundred drawing papers and a dozen sketching pencils. A mechanical pencil sharpener was also included. "Where did you find this?"

"An art store in a town about a twenty minute ride from 'ere," Tommy answered. "Joel was with me when we found it. There's more where that came from when you need it. Art stores are probably one of the few old businesses that are actually still fairly well stocked."

"Holy shit, this is awesome."

"Ellie," Joel warned habitually.

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Language. We're civilized now."

Tommy chuckled, always amused by those kinds of interactions between them. It reminded him of how his brother and Sarah had been around each other. Though Ellie was quite different from Sarah, she had helped fill the gaping hole she'd left behind, and he was grateful to the girl for being herself, for helping his brother heal, and for helping him heal too. He hadn't realized how much he truly was missing not just Sarah, but also just being an uncle in general. Over the last several months he thought he and Ellie were getting there, especially since she no longer felt threatened by him, now that she was sure Joel wouldn't abandon her just because he found his blood family again.

Maria passed a gift over to Joel next. "I hope you liked desert as much as you said you did."

He blinked up at her curiously before unwrapping it to see a whole apple pie in his grasp.

"Tommy told me it's one of your favorites," she said. "Now you can have one to yourself."

Ellie smirked. "Yeah, sure."

Joel knew for certain then that she'd end up bumming a slice off of it; not that he'd mind.

"I was telling the truth," he swore to Maria. "This pie will be lucky to survive until tomorrow night."

She gave him a nod. "Good." Maria had no doubt about him being honest. He'd not given her any reason to since he'd settled in Jackson with Ellie. Joel had a dark history, but over time she'd realized that he wasn't at all the violent man she'd imagined. Yes, he'd very much been violent at times, and at times he still could be when needed, but there was always reason behind it, and he seemed to much prefer to avoid it, at least since Ellie came into his life. He'd fit into Jackson quite nicely, and though he wasn't the most chatty character in town, everyone she'd talked to liked him. He was as southern gentleman as anyone could get and he had gotten to know many of them through the work he did repairing things around town. Most importantly though, he was a good parent to Ellie and uncle to William, softer with them than she could've ever imagined. She knew she could trust him with their lives, and Tommy's, whenever the two brothers teamed up on a patrol.

Joel handed her the gift he'd found for her. "Your turn."

She nodded and dug into the old holiday bag he'd put it in. She pulled out a small stereo. A CD player.

"Tommy told me yours broke," Joel explained. "Found that one in a electronics store on the same trip to the art one. I was shocked it still works, but it does. Just needed some serious dusting off first."

"Thank you, Joel," Maria said, smiling genuinely at him. "I was missing playing my CDs."

He gave her a curt nod, still awkward about any praise coming from her, as if he felt he didn't deserve it. As far as she was concerned he did, at the very least for the thoughtful gift.

"You're welcome." He shifted to reach for another present that was on the couch cushion beside him. "This is for William."

She opened that one as well. It was three hand carved wooden blocks with painted numbers on them. She sucked in a breath. "Did you make these yourself?"

Joel nodded.

"I'm not the only one with a hidden ability apparently," Ellie piped up. "Not only can he play guitar, he can also carve. Who'd have thunk?"

Maria was certainly surprised. The details on the blocks, the perfectly straight lines - it must have taken Joel hours to make them. Her heart thawed even more for her brother-in-law. "William will love these. I'll show them to him in the morning."

"If you don't mind," he started, "I'd like to be here when you do."

She smiled again. "Sure. Stop by when you're up. But not before eight or I shoot you."

He laughed hard enough for the crinkles around his eyes to be prominent. "Sure thing."

"What's that last gift beside you for?" Ellie inquired, pointing out the remaining one by his hip.

"That one's yours," Joel revealed, shoving it into her hands.

She hesitated to take it from him. "But I didn't get you anything. You didn't tell me we were exchanging gifts too."

"We aren't," Joel replied. "I just felt like getting this for ya, since it's your first real Christmas. Go on. Open it up."

She did, and she gasped at what was inside. "No Pun Intended Volume One!"

The dark blue colored book had silly drawings of puns on it like the purple one Ellie had been carrying around until it was lost in Utah.

"I know it can't replace the one you lost," Joel began, "But now you have new puns to share with your friends."

He was sure he'd be the victim of most of them but he was willing to endure it.

She grinned at him devilishly. Oh, he definitely would get the brunt of them.

"Thanks, Joel. I'm going to think of something to get you."

"You don't have to."

"I will."

Joel sighed. It wasn't worth arguing with her. If she wanted to get him something she would. It was that simple.

The exchange finally done, the four of them soon hugged and said their goodbyes for the night, all more than ready to get some sleep. All except Ellie.

As soon as she and Joel were home and he'd headed for bed, she got to work on his present, determined to have it done by morning, even if she went without any shut eye.

Luckily she was finished making it by four am, and she slipped into her bed to catch a few hours of sleep before Joel stirred to make breakfast.

He found it on their kitchen table as he was sitting down to sip a mug of shitty old coffee Tommy had found for him during the summer. He'd been drinking it only on special occasions.

Finding Ellie's present to him happened to be one of those, more so than the day being a holiday.

It was another drawing. This time of him standing next to his favorite horse in the Jackson stable, a young bay stallion named Caliber. He was stroking his neck with a gloved hand and smiling fondly at him. Ellie had put so much detail into it. The spike of too short hair in Cal's forelock, his intelligent eyes, the patches in Joel's beard, and every single scar on his face were all accounted for.

The fact that Ellie could draw him like that by memory, in just one night, stunned Joel. It was the greatest gift she could've ever been able to give him. Her love for him drawn out on paper.

He'd treasure it for the rest of his life.

xxx

Tagged: @harriedandharassed, @morallyinept

xxx

Main Masterlist

xxx

[rebelliousstories]

25 Days of Ficmas

Welcome to the 25 Days of Ficmas Masterlist! I’m really excited to be bringing these fics to you. Please enjoy 25 stories to help get you in the holiday mood.

Traditions (December 1st) Corey Cunningham

Corey has been invited to his partner’s parents home for Christmas, and he gets roped into doing fun family traditions that he didn’t know even happened.

Snow Days (December 2nd) Lestat de Lioncourt

Another Christmas had come and gone, but not without Lestat telling his tales of his favorite, and least favorite, holidays of the past.

Lonely (December 3rd) Elvis Presley

When Elvis tells his family back at Graceland that he couldn’t be home for Christmas, his wife has to quell their children’s tears all on her own.

Blankets (December 4th) Will Graham

Snow in Virginia means cold. Cold means a need for warmth. Warmth means cuddles. Preferably with a human but dogs are a nice addition.

Hot Cocoa (December 5th) Tom “Iceman” Kazansky

Tom just received bad news about his throat. He’s holed himself away in his office, but his wife won’t stand for that behavior.

Gifts (December 6th) Poly! Lost Boys

The lost boys haven’t celebrated a proper Christmas in decades. They don’t put up a tree, no carols, and no gifts.

Friends (December 7th) Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw

Friends-mas. Or the Dagger Team gets together and Mrs. Bradshaw has to convince Bradley to go.

Cabin (December 8th) Elvis Presley

Christmas in the South wasn’t known for its blankets of snow, but it’s still too cold for Mrs. Presley to enjoy the holiday.

Movies (December 9th) Austin Butler

He’s finally home for Christmas, and there isn’t a place in the world he’d rather be.

Fireplace (December 10th) Miles Miller

California and Nevada. How does one celebrate the holidays in the desert?

Cookies (December 11th) Jake “Hangman” Seresin

Hangman takes his lady home for the holidays and she gets to experience a Seresin Christmas, with all the nieces and nephews.

Gingerbread House (December 12th) Paul

It’s just making a gingerbread house. How hard can it be with a ADHD, weed smoking, man-child of a vampire? Oh no.

Candy (December 13th) Pete “Maverick” Mitchell

As the resident mom and dad of the Dagger Team, the Mitchell’s host the team for a festive night.

Music (December 14th) Hannibal Lecter

A connoisseur of all things high class in a relationship with someone more rustic and simplistic. It’s a clash of Christmas styles.

Charity (December 15th) Louis Pointe du Lac

As Christmas rolls around in New Orleans, Louis reflects on those less fortunate that him.

Cider (December 16th) Dwayne

Seasonal tents at the boardwalk are her favorite this time of year. Dwayne is along for the ride.

December (December 17th) Will Graham

Hell hath no fury like a woman wanting to have some time off with her lover.

Celebrate (December 18th) Marko

If anyone can convince the boys to put in a little effort for the holiday, surely it’s Marko?

Family (December 19th) Poly! Interview with the Vampire

Claudia has requested that everyone get along for one night. Hopefully, they can make her Christmas wish come true.

Ice Skating (December 20th) Pete “Maverick” Mitchell

Having your own personal licensed pilot around Christmas time means you end up in interesting places.

Christmas Dinner (December 21st) Rhett Abbott

The Abbott family might not be close, but they try to at least have one nice dinner a year.

Sweaters (December 22nd) Marko

Marko loves perusing through the local stores for new patches to sew together. And even now, he loves finding things to make into a custom sweater.

Christmas Tree (December 23rd) David

He hated to admit it; the tree made the late night snuggle session more magical.

Christmas Eve (December 24th) Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw

Christmas Eve is spent inside, curled up with a blanket, and some hot cocoa, in beautiful California.

Christmas Day (December 25th) Corey Cunningham

This was the Christmas he dreamed about as a kid.

[kinetic-elaboration]

December 24: Miller/Bryan, Boyfriends

This is literally the least Christmas-y thing I could write on Christmas Eve but I just had the urge to write some angsty Miller/Bryan stuff instead of trying to do fluff. I'm just not in the fluff mood.

This is in the same universe as this scene, is extremely self-indulgent, and may or may not be good, but it was fun.

Canon-divergent, S3-era, ~760 words, some sexual content

Written in 22 minutes

*

When they were dating on the Ark, they would fantasize often about domesticity. They'd find quarters together as soon as they turned eighteen, either on Alpha or on Farm, or anywhere else that would take them; they'd sleep together in a bed big enough for two. They'd develop some sort of morning routine. Their clothes would get mixed up. They'd kiss at every threshold, before parting, upon meeting.

Miller was a damned romantic in those days too: trading stolen goods for extra ration points and extra ration points for private time in the mess and a dinner for two; memorizing love sonnets; handing Bryan sprigs of plants from the fields on Farm as if they were bouquets. Some of the gestures made Bryan laugh. But always with such fondness. And after Miller was arrested, they promised to stay faithful—Bryan promised to visit and promised to wait—and so everyone in the Sky Box said they were married. That was the word for couples who believed in a future like that. Miller never told anyone that he proposed for real, with a bit of junk metal fashioned into a ring, as earnest and as quiet and as serious as he'd ever been in his life, never told a single soul that Bryan said yes. Yes Miller would live and as soon as he got out, they'd be married in Miller's father's quarters and afterwards, never separated ever again.

Later, when Bellamy asks, he says he has a boyfriend. Fiancé seems too heavy somehow, like maybe Bellamy will read it as kids playing dress up, or only frown as he does at Sky Box slang he never got the hang of.

It's easier to live with himself, too, when he's got a boyfriend up there or out there or possibly dead, than to let himself go on spinning fantasies about the love of his life.

It's not domestic now and it's not sweet either, or soft, or easy, when they don't know what to say to each other, so every time they meet, they just fuck. Bryan hangs out with Farm mostly, without saying they're family in so many words. Miller’s got his dropship survivors. Thy almost never talk about that now. The scar on his shoulder aches when it's about to rain, and when he puts on the Guard jacket, it feels heavy on his shoulders.

Bryan's assigned quarters in some of the new outbuildings, where they've stuck the rest of the station because all the rooms in Alpha have already been divided up. But it's not hard to sneak over, hardly more of a challenge to sneak Bryan over to his. Bellamy practically lives at Gina's now. Their bed is a double, and it's easy to shove Bryan down on it.

They never get fully undressed and they lie to themselves and say it's because it takes too long, and they need something hot and hard and now, they miss each other so goddamn much. It doesn't hurt the way that sex always hurt in crowded spaces up on the Ark: banged elbow in the supply closet, ache in his back from trying to twist around too much in his single bed, and then he couldn't even catch his breath after, because soon his father would be home. He might say it hurts in a worse way now, like poking an old bruise. Old man, Bryan says, half-smiling, when his heart starts beating too fast and his lungs burn but he's thinking about Bellamy giving him a hand job in this same bed and then about how many people have fucked in it over the last 100 years, and how little it matters, sentimentality like that.

He can feel Bryan's palm pressed close against him, that moment of pressure before his fingers start scrambling for Miller's zip, and he thinks that if he's breathing in the air from Bryan's lungs right now, open mouth to open mouth and the darting slick press of tongues, maybe he's also hearing Bryan's heart in his ears. Maybe they are one person. Maybe that's the rhythm he can feel coming of its own accord into his hips, as Bryan straddles on top of him, and they move as if they were fucking, and everything else drowns out and is still.

They haven't mentioned the word marriage since their reunion at the settlement gates. Not even once. No words like boyfriends or domesticity or even home, but again and again he huffs you into Bryan's mouth: you and want and need. You, you, you.

[burstanddecay]

Triple Frontier Holiday Collection

Hi, hello!

Over the course of December (and most likely January), I will be posting several fics with a Christmas (esque) theme, focussed on each of the Triple Frontier boys. It will be a mix of multichapter fics and one shots, smut, fluff and angst: I consider my work 18+, but your media consumption is your own responsibility.

The readers will be named and have a job/hobbies where mentioned, but are not physically described; you can imagine them as you see fit! 🧡

Disclaimer: There is no set schedule as for when each part will be released: due to deadlines, the actual holidays and personal circumstances I'm unable to attach myself to deadlines for something that is meant to be fun for me. Thank you for understanding!

Cold Is The Night: Benny Miller x F!Reader.

On Christmas eve, years of tension come pouring out when Benny invites you to come take out your anger and frustration in the boxing ring. (multichapter)

Part One

Promises: Frankie Morales x F!Reader

Frankie is anxious to make the first major holiday he's spending with his girl absolutely perfect, but baggage on both sides make for unforseen circumstances that threathen to crumble his plans right down to the ground. CANCELLED.

Omarm: Santiago Garcia x F!Reader

It's been three years since you last set foot on home soil, three years since you started dating Santiago. This year, Christmas marks the meeting point for those two seperate entities in your life, something that both excites and terrifies you. (multichapter: set in Europe) CANCELLED.

Green Green Dress: Will Miller x F!Reader.

Will thought his night was unfortunate: single, left alone at a bar by his brother, facing the prospect of walking home for an hour in the biting cold. However, the first date taking place right behind his seat reaches a level of shitty he never considered to be achievable, even by him in the current circumstances.