#chronic pain rlly be like this tho

[yonpote]

ok i literally only did two prompts but thats it for now i will get to the ones in my inbox tomorrow ✌️✌️

[saltyverse]

eek!

[batz]

-

[saetoshis]

bro i feel miserable today HELPPP

[macaroni-and-pebbles]

The Agony is starting again and anything I post after this point is no longer my fault

btw I’m ranting a lot in tags so like ignore that

[uitzinnigmp3]

.

[cherrysnax]

okay I feel less like I’m going to die

[dan-crimes]

Ohoho I mean if anyone wants me to actually start posting original stuff I'm gonna take it not seriously at all which is the only way Imma get anything done but that ALSO means the stuff Imma be making is legit gonna be stupid af and only appeal to an audience of me which idc abt appealing to other people anyway I just know Imma be annoying af if I actually have the energy to commit the bit

[the-mountain-flower]

I realized while writing a fanfic that I didn’t know if Dainix would wear the eyepatch to sleep or not, and I took so long trying to figure out because the internet was NOT HELPFUL! (Also I already knew there was serious ableism around eyepatches but sheesh.)

(I decided that since the wound is (presumably) fully healed, he probably wouldn’t wear it to sleep, but go ahead and correct me if you have any helpful knowledge.)

I also headcanon that he has some chronic pain from the eye wound (also that the prison had terrible scar treatment, and that they wouldn’t let him wear the eye patch, so when he was able to take off the bandage he either had to keep it on or have the scar on show, and he decided it was traumatic enough without the arena using that so he kept the bandage).

(Side note: can you imagine how hard it would be to adjust to the eyesight difference with both the exile, then having to constantly fight for his life while living in prison? Holy fuck that must’ve been rough. Tho it’s likely he got mostly used to it while initially recovering in the desert, but that would still be rlly hard to have to deal with.)

[sugawhaaa]

!!Health update!!

Part 4??

So the other night guess where I had to go again 😃 the ER yippee!! So basically my chronic pain suddenly got worse and I went to the ER with my mother again. We got in, I was marked as urgent and as soon as we went to triage I got taken to the side room to get blood work, an IV, and a urine test and they had to do that heart scan thing because my blood pressure was sky high like 😨 they gave me some meds and sent me out to the waiting room. I sobbed for like 4 hours in the waiting room they gave me Torydol or however u spell it through my IV and guess what?! It stopped working in an hour.

I was then moved up to most urgent and got rechecked for vitals when a nurse came and got me. After like...9 hours I finally saw a doctor and he pretty much said "idk what's wrong with you" which was yk very reassuring to hear. He was very kind tho so that's good 👍 and after all that I got perscribed ✨️morphine✨️ which was scary at first. And when I was getting it in the ER the nurse was like "u may feel neaseua or dizziness its all normal" and when she put the thing in my IV I started having difficulty breathing and I said that and she instantly went "No your not your fine," bc she forgot to mention the number one side effect of morphine is a choking feeling but yk would've been freaking nice to know before I started thinking I was having an allergic reaction to a drug.

Anyway what I'm getting at here is that my pain I've been having is so insufferably bad that I needed morphine to EASE the pain. I ended up getting scheduled for an ultrasound the next day and legally the nurse couldn't tell me anything she saw but she was measuring a few things in my uterus and there were lots of red and blue dots on the screen so she found smth 👍

Unfortunately it'll take a week to get the results and idk how much the gynecologist will be able to do for me at the end of the day. My mother did say when the nurse was measuring smth in my uterus that it was at least 4cm which doesn't sound like a lot but my little uterus ain't that big 😬 so smth 4cm long will take up about 50% of the space in my uterus which is JAGEURJ

Anyway sorry this is long but I'm in a lot of pain and literally flipping out rn bc I might need surgery like...rlly soon so if I'm not uploading a lot that's bc I am stressed tf out rn 😭

[compassionatereminders]

my most secret confession.. i kind of wish my mental abilties would get worse? i have autism and my cognitive abilities and functioning is definitely Not very good but it feels like its not enough to me.. idk if this is just internalized "im not disabled enough" ableism or if things actually ARE even more difficult than it seems and i just dont realize bc of masking or what tho, or if i would Genuinely feel happier with less cognitive ability even if things were more difficult.

that being said i dont want to put too much of a burden on my family, my ability to reliably do tasks is already limited id feel really bad limiting it further if i could help it. idk! its weird. i also wish my psychosis (very mild all things considered) would show up more frequently but its tied directly to my depression which is being treated so weh. it feels weird even saying this bc from what i can tell, you're supposed to either want to get better or you're happy just where you are. i dont ever rlly hear people talk about wanting to get worse/more disabled in ways that arent Obviously just internalized ableism (ie wanting to get worse so 'youll be treated more seriously' most of the time you will just be treated as less than human rather than a human worth listening to...)

i feel this about my chronic pain too. i don't know why im like this. its hard for me to even consider these feelings as Wrong even though i know some people would call me crazy for wanting to be more disabled. i just know theyre weird and people would get mad at me for them, so thats why theyre my most secret secrets

Desiring to be more mentally ill/visibly disabled than you are is a quite common experience. For many people it IS an internalized ableism thing, because there's the assumption that if only they were THAT disabled, then people would believe them and treat them with respect and compassion, and that is - as any severely disabled person could tell you - complete bullshit. But the desire is common and as long as you don't get sucked into the illusion that there's actually a way to win against ableism by being The Right Kind Of Visibly Disabled Person (there isn't), I wouldn't worry too much about it.

[barzfrommarz]

Hey barz :] It’s late, and instead of working on the Pogtopia TNT duo comic I started tonight (because comics are lowkey so intimidating), I came to your blog to ask you some questions:

How often do you think about the fact that Revivebur has canonical PTSD related to swords? I think about it a normal about and it doesn’t add extra angst to anything I write, especially not a death scene or anything (some of the biggest lies ever told)

Does everyone it this fandom who likes c!Wilbur and was in a toxic relationship at one point also project that onto c!MAD duo, or is that just like a me thing? (This question is more of a joke, but still)

Any c!Wilbur headcanons that you wanna share?

Are you excited to hear about all the c!Wilbur angst in all my DSMP AU’s (it’s a LOT)

Anyways, have a good day/night, bye :D

tysm for the c!wilbur questions!

I think about c!wilburs ptsd a normal amount! I never particularly think about his trauma revolving swords tho. I think back to the moment in the finale stream where I think c!tommy pulls out a sword in anger (excuse me it’s been over a year since I watched the final stream) and I think about how that would’ve affected c!wilbur. I like to think his body tensed up and his eyes widened and he flinched back a little in that moment. Thinking it was happening again.

Maybe. I wouldn’t be suprised but I never rlly think abt c!mad duo a lot. I should more tho their dynamic has so much potential

-I like to think he’s the kinda guy to refuse to admit he’s disabled/Neurodivergent/Mentally ill. Nope i’m fine type beat. Powering thru the chronic pain and the autistic meltdowns and manic episodes like it’s nothing

-Tourette’s syndrome. I’ve never talked abt this headcanon before but I have tics irl and I feel like he would have them.

-He is a big fan of other forms of art. I think he would paint and write novels he will never show to anyone

-He lost all pain tolerance after revival.

-He has a speech impediment. He grew out of it but it never fully went away

-Pathetically anxious. No comment

-Shakes/trembles constantly. He’s just colder now

-He never knows when he is sick. He will often go weeks without realizing it and usually has to have someone tell him he’s sick (if it’s not bad enough)

-I think he would age regress to cope. In secret of course (c!quackity knows)

-speaking of c!quackity, c!wilbur never realized he was secretly crushing on him bc he never picked up on the social cues

YES I AM. I don’t read a lot of fanfiction anymore but I will still read c!wilbur angst any day

You too tysm for asking I love talking abt c!wilbur :)))))))

[shoechoe]

ok ok ill bite w the asks abt phf. what do u think abt angelica and volpe.. i honestly kinda enjoyed their dynamic tho i don't rlly remember too much abt the novel .. BUT MAN. i don't wanna spoil too much abt the story in this ask i jus rlly liked them both and i wanna hear ur insight hehe

That is a good inquiry. Personally, Angelica weirdly reminded me of Cioccolata with the way her stand ravaged an entire town, but her actual character is a lot more tragic. She's only fourteen years old, which is younger than any other character, and is constantly described as sickly and near-death. Her personality is detached and vacant as she's dismissed as a "junkie" and a lost cause. Even though she was in the group of bad guys, I could only feel a combination of being somewhat disturbed and feeling bad for her.

I admittedly had less thoughts on Volpe than I did Angelica- mostly, I just thought it was cool that he and Tonio are brothers and it's interesting that he has a history with Fugo. I thought Manic Depression was a really cool stand and Volpe's goal to transcend humanity with the Stone Mask was interesting, but like I said, it felt like it didn't really go anywhere.

Angelica and Volpe's relationship, to me, seemed to mirror a toxic or abusive one. Volpe seems to care about her very much- he alleviates the pain of her chronic illness and flies into a rage when she dies- but at the same time, the cause of her sickness is her addiction to the drugs that he creates. You could say that Volpe's desire for power and status combined with his overall apathetic and violent nature ends up causing widespread harm- even to those he actually cares about, like Angelica.

My overall opinion right after finishing PHF is pretty simple. I thought they were both very good characters and made for scary villains. They left me with a sense of being unsettled- in a good way.

[chronic-gastro-illness-culture]

sorry same person but this is why i get really kind of defensive and pissed off when people are all whatever about gastro issues especially ibs because it fucking kills like it hurts unlike any pain i’ve had before and people will still be like ‘yeah but it’s gross and stupid’ no it fucking sucks and i can’t get rid of it

also somebody literally said to my FACE the other day ‘oh my god you have IBS that’s literally so embarrassing’ and this is one of my close friends. i was also very clearly not in a jokey mood about it and was upset because my stomach hurt so your account is a godsend and i hope people can get over themselves and end the whole ‘ew why would you talk about that’ thing

chronic gastro illness rlly gets the ableism twofold one for the usual ableism of ppl not understanding the chronic in chronic illness or the pain n fatigue that comes w a chronic illness n second anything having to do w digestion is seen as a taboo subject bc “its gross” even tho its v natural

n like u said there r symptoms that r v debilitating ppl who dont have a chronic gastro illness dont stop to think abt how much having a digestive system that fundamentally doesnt work can be disruptive its not like we just shit more or less then the rest of the population theres the cramps n nausea that come before bms n that by diagnostic criteria dont immediately get better after having a bm theres the danger of dehydration when u have chronic diarrhea n everyone ik who has had a bout of constipation either bc of a chronic gastro illness or some other reason say its miserable ur nauseous n bloated n gassy n just feel over all bad

n the biggest one i think is how most ppl just eat n dont think much abt it but when u have a chronic gastro illness eating can feel like a battle field how is this gonna settle will eating make me feel better or worse ? n sometimes during bad episodes u know eating is gonna make u feel like shit but not eating is gonna make u feel worse so u just gotta power thru every meal u have on top of wtvr ibs symptoms ur having

able bodied ppl dont realize it is a privilege to be able to eat n shit wo having to think abt it at all able bodied ppl dont realize its a privilege not to have to know where a bathroom is at any given moment its a privilege for ppl to be able to look at ppl who suffer w ibs n say thats gross n embarrassing dont talk abt that bc they dont know the pain that comes w having ibs or any other chronic gastro illness

that rlly sux that u had to hear that at all but esp from a close friend of urs n im glad the blog could be a good space for u n good luck w ur flare up 🙏🏻

[steeltwigz]

espio would have a bed that is so SO uncomfortable. he wakes up and his ribs and back and shoulders are SO Sore, i know this in my heart. im projecting too tho. guys who cant afford a better mattress and it causes them so much pain, like they arent actually disabled or have chronic pain or anything, they rlly do just have a bad bed RISE UP!

[poems-of-a-lover]

okay, sweetheart. deep breath. as a fellow chronic pain haver, this shit is going to hurt and you know that. first step was accepting it sucks tonight. now, im going to ask you a series of questions, you dont have to respond to/post this ask or even read it if the questions are overwhelming, okay nicky? number one: do you have water? if you do, then great, if you dont but are able to move lets do that. number two: would heat or ice help this pain? heat in the form of a heating pad or a bath, and ice can come in the form of anything from pease to a baggy, or even a cold bath. if none of those options work, then lets do the 4-4-4 breathing method alright? in for four, love. hold for four. out for four. do that whole thing four times. with every breath in i want you to sink into the pain, and with every breath out i want ya to push it out of you. i hope youre able to sleep tonight nicks <3

-🖕

thank u, really, im just kinda. dying. KFHSKFHDK i have ice water with me which is nice, i always try to have water with me its something im always incredibly aware of for some reason idk

i might ice it for a while and see if that helps, i normally switch back and forth between hot and cold when it's bad like this. i would go sit in like a hot bath for a bit but its really late so i can't and im. devastated.

im gonna try the breathing thing and see if that helps, i normally just try to ignore it so it hurts less, yknow? im gonna try and sleep at some point but at this rate who knows man kfhskfhdk thank u tho, i rlly appreciate it a lot <3