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#cis and unthreatening)
cryptidanathema · 2 months
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I suspect Mattyboy's gonna try to sell the site again and that's why he's cracking down on ""undesirables"" and thier wrongbad usernames and bodies and lives in a last gasp for that sweet sweet advertiser cock and that him threatening to "sayonara you weeaboo shits" the site when he gets back is some kind of idiotic foreshadowing attempt
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silverislander · 2 months
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email from school abt a seminar for "women and people who identify as women" i am so fucking tired
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spacelazarwolf · 6 months
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I don't think you're malicious with that post but "trans men aren't 4'11 femboy twinks but are 5'7 real people..." clearly shames short trans men for height they can't control and falsely conflates said height with the validity of their gender presentation. The rest of the post is fine but yeah
it........is not "shaming short trans men for their height" it is saying that cis people have an image in their head of what trans men are "supposed to look like" and get weird when we don't look like that. and part of it is that cis people (and even other trans people) tend to expect trans men to make ourselves as small and unthreatening as possible, and when you're 5'8 and 275 pounds that is. very difficult to do! there are plenty of 4'11 femboy trans twinks out there, i'm friends with them, i love them. and we have very different experiences with antitransmasculinity from cis people and from other queer and trans people. and that's ok. bc trans men are not a monolith. i hope this clears things up.
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moonbaby26 · 2 months
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Title: Sabaody Shakedown
(Chapter 2 of Doflamingo’s Marine Series)
*Crossposted to AO3 here* Reader/(Y/N) type: cis female marine
Pairings: Doflamingo x Reader as primary, Smoker x Reader is in the past, Aokiji/Kuzan x Reader is teased
Chapter Warnings: masturbation, rape, non-con, voyeurism, slavery, blood, language, violence, unprotected vaginal sex, breeding kink, handjob, references to previous virginity loss
Chapter Synopsis: After running afoul of Doflamingo in Mariejois a few weeks earlier, he’s now all you can think of. But you still didn’t expect to see him again this soon, and to even more complicated results.
Chapters: 1, 2, 3
———————————
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——————————— 
You had understandably been in somewhat of a mental fog the next few days after returning to Marineford. Of course you kept up appearances as best you could. But it was such an odd feeling, holding this secret inside of what you’d done.
Your body was still aching, with you even having to wipe away small amounts of blood from between your legs in the bathroom or during a shower through the week. Doflamingo had torn you just enough that it still stung whenever you tried to make your daily laps or do your workouts in the gym.
You put your mind back into training as much as you could though, just waiting for Tsuru’s battleship to return and take you back out to sea again.
But even in those times where you may finally think of something else, there would always be some sort of reminder of him. Like the scab inside of your bottom lip burning against hot food whenever you’d tried to eat. That hidden wound still in the shape of the warlord’s bite within your mouth.
With your lips closed, your tongue tip still ran idly over that imperfection inside your mouth in a way that was almost becoming a bad habit. 
In all honesty, the isolation of these confusing emotions felt similar to losing your virginity all over again. Even if that idea seemed ridiculous.
As sore as you were, as shell shocked, and as anxious that someone would discover and judge you for what you’d done…it was like figuring out sex all alone for the very first time again.
You’d bled significantly more on your true first time of course. But only because you’d still had an inexplicably thick hymen then. First torn by none other than Kuzan actually. A fact you hadn’t revealed even to Doflamingo exactly. You’d confessed to being with Aokiji before when pressed by the warlord. But not divulged that the now admiral was also your very first.
It was the real reason why Kuzan had gotten so nervous and ended things with you not long after that back then. Because he hadn’t realized you were a virgin until it was too late and you were bleeding and crying in his bed.
He hadn’t been an admiral then. And you hadn’t been underage, just inexperienced. But you’d still conned him a bit if you were being honest. Playing things up as if you were far more mature than you were. When you hadn’t actually been ready for that level of intimacy yet at all. 
But by the time Smoker came along, you’d taken the time to practice with a few random, unthreatening marines here and there beforehand. It’d become a lot more natural by then. And you’d learned to actually enjoy and even look forward to sex over time.
But now Smoker was gone too and you were only left with whatever the hell this new poison was.
Because Doflamingo had raped you. Logically you knew that.
But you’d also felt more arousal in at least some of that than you could remember at any time with Smoker. It’d been like the adrenaline of battle mixed with making love. 
Minus the love.
Yet even a man like Doflamingo had seemed a little bit human in those very small instances of vulnerability he’d shown.
And you kept remembering that, the times where his perpetual mask of a smile would slip away from him. If you could have only seen his eyes, you were certain there would have been something more there too in those brief moments.
But this is how you’d been for days now. Trying to go through your routines, and adjusting back to base life while waiting for your next sail date. You’d be in the offices, then at the gym, the mess hall, and then back to the barracks.
And you’d be thinking of that warlord all the while. Like a dark stain across everything, impossible to wash away as you now laid alone in your bed after yet another long shower.
Worst of all, even if it still hurt a bit, your fingers would slide between your open legs at times. Mostly gently though, and only over the top of your underwear while you rubbed yourself with all the lights off.
You were also attracted to the Heavenly Demon’s raw will, and the challenge of it all. There was no question in that.
Aokiji was likely still the stronger in pure power between the two men. But Doflamingo was so ruthless, so exacting. Where Aokiji could freeze an entire battlefield in one swing of his palm, Doflamingo would be the assassin’s bullet instead, straight through the heart and never predicted.
You now thought of the king of Dressrosa’s rich scent which you still remembered too well, and the vibrations of his dark laugh as he’d pressed his greedy mouth against you that day in Mariejois.
You moved your own fingers in a poor substitution for his as your stomach tightened in arousal. You could feel the fabric getting damp as your pressed a little harder through your underwear.
It was so goddamn wrong though. If you hadn’t still been healing, you would have been looking for something else to slide between your legs in this moment.
You wanted to feel full again already. You wanted his heavy weight against your body. 
You breathed in quietly as you just had to use your imagination for the rest. Thinking of his voice, pretending it was there to taunt and coax you again as you massaged your own clit.
And what would he have thought of you shamelessly touching yourself for him? He’d be even more insufferable most likely. His ego was titanic enough already.
But there’s no way he would have left you to finish this all alone either. He would have been in this bed in an instant to partake as well.
So that’s what you kept focusing on to finally coax an orgasm out of yourself. Thinking of his hands desperate and grasping for you again, his breath panting, mouth biting, and hips pumping as he would have moaned for you once more.
Like a starving animal to a fresh kill. He’d let himself fully give in to what he’d wanted from you that day.
You grit your own teeth as you managed even a second orgasm as well before you’d finally let your muscles relax again. You were breathing a little harsher yourself in the dark by then. All this before you’d finally rolled back over. Then tightening the blankets around you in the absence of his body heat to warm you.
But closing your eyes didn’t erase what you still kept imagining. It was going to be a very long ordeal for you with each added night alone in these barracks. Without any other mission to focus on, it just brought out the worst in you now.
———————————
And another setback came a few days later. Early one morning when you were just getting dressed to go on a jogging run before officer meetings, your long distance snail had finally rang.
You’d been across your bedroom so fast to pickup that receiver. You knew assignments could come in the morning sometimes like this, and you’d felt so relieved to finally hear Tsuru-san’s voice again.
“Good morning.” She greeted you as normal.
“Good morning, Vice Admiral.” You’d practically been pacing the floor already though, stretching out the long phone cord as you did. “Has Amazon Lily been wrapped up?”
“For now.” She answered. Debriefings would come on that later you were sure. “I’m sorry I haven’t gotten to check in on you though.” She continued. “It’s been one thing after another. Sengoku did let me know you did well in the warlord meeting the other day.”
Of course she, Sengoku, and Garp could be like three peas in a pod. They’d come up through the ranks in the same generation together. Though both men got under Tsuru’s skin quite often, like troublesome siblings to her really. 
“Have they decided to mobilize the marines to Charybdis though?” You still asked boldly anyway, wondering if everything you’d really sacrificed that day had come to bear any fruit.
“It’s still in discussion.” She replied.
“Oh,” Well that was disappointing.
“I’m sure we’ll get word in another month or so. Nothing like that moves quickly in Mariejois.” You could hear that slight comfort in her tone however. She wasn’t going to blame you if they rejected the proposal regardless. “But I can’t talk long I’m afraid. I wanted to let you know that we’re on our way to the West Blue now. They’re having a rebellion on Lyra that the government does want nipped in the bud.”
And at this your heart had absolutely sank.
“You’re not coming back then.” You stated the obvious. Not for several weeks anyway with that kind of mission and at that distance.
“I’m sorry. I know you hate being landlocked. But more so, I needed to tell you that I got a call recently from Vice Admiral Vergo from base G-5. He’s doing some cross training with the newer recruits for HQ. He’ll be in Marineford in a couple days. He wasn’t bringing his full crew, so he was looking for some help. How would you feel following him for a bit? I haven’t worked with him directly, but I’ve heard good things. He’s been very popular at G-5 at least.”
You were surprised of course. And it wasn’t like you should say no. An offer to work with another commander was always a good opportunity to learn something new. And to get your name out there even more if they might give you positive recommendations in the future.
But as much as you knew you couldn’t stay in Tsuru’s shadow forever, there was still a strangeness to ever being fully obligated to another leader. “I’ve never met him. But sure, I accept. I’ll help where I can while he’s here at HQ.”
“Then I’ll let him know. Thank you.” She answered easily, and you could already hear one of the other crew in the background. One of your friends confirming another a ship hailing them then. “I have another call,” Tsuru sighed. It’d obviously been hectic lately for them. “I’ll check in when I can.”
“Yes, ma’am.” You felt a bit jealous all the same though. Your usual group was off having new adventures without you.
But you could still hear that wry smile of hers on the other end. She always knew when you were struggling a bit, even if she didn’t know the full reason. “When I get back we’ll sit down and catch up truly, alright?”
“Yes.” Your voice changed a little more then. “That’d be good.”
She likely thought you were still upset over Smoker. Everyone knew about that by now. But one of those late night talks over coffee or tea with Tsuru about anything would have done you a world of good right now.
Even if you couldn’t tell her the name of the real man you were currently so hung up on. 
It sure wasn’t anyone named Smoker.
——————————
At least with a new task in mind, you’d had something else to focus on. By the day Vice Admiral Vergo was supposed to arrive though, even that morning on base had been a little bit strange.
You’d just been in the mess hall having breakfast. And a familiar, if not a bit too casual “Hey,” above you had had you looking up from your food and daily news coo paper.
You still had some oatmeal in your mouth actually as Admiral Aokiji sat down directly across from you and his food tray touched against your own.
“Hey,” you’d answered just as awkwardly, after swallowing anyway.
“Any good new bounties?” He asked by way of small talk, trying to open a sugar packet for his coffee.
“Nope.” But you watched him still, sure he would have already known if there were any exciting new pirate targets out there for you all. 
And you waited. Talk just for the sake of talk wasn’t really your thing.
But he was in no hurry either as he stirred his coffee and yawned once naturally. 
You remembered then just how hard it was for him to get up early in the mornings and get going. And you tried not to eventually give in, but failed as you pushed your newspaper over to him as old habit.
He’d always liked reading your paper instead of just getting his own back then when you’d very briefly roomed together. 
Lazy justice indeed.
“I’m still mad at you. In case you were wondering.” You finally said as you watched him as he read the news.
“I figured.” He answered, sipping his coffee as his eyes stayed on the latest happenings in the paper for a while.
Yet he had looked back up eventually. His voice was a little kinder then. “You feeling any better?”
You shrugged. “I didn’t think I’d get stuck here for this long. Does Smoker want his stuff back from my room yet or something?”
You realized now that that was the most likely reason for the admiral’s sudden appearance. He usually didn’t make the effort to talk with you one on one anymore. At least he hadn’t when you were still dating Smoker, because rumors spread so fast through gossip hungry marines.
Too much friendliness and they’d all assume you and Aokiji were a thing again.
“I’m sure he’s thinking about it. But if you just put it out on a cart at some point, I can stash it in my office until he’s back here again.” Aokiji conceded, yet also clarified. “Yet that’s not why I’m up this early.”
“Yeah?” You questioned, kind of wishing he’d just get to the point then.
“I just wanted to apologize. That’s all.” He said it simply, those dark brown eyes of his watching you.
And for a moment you thought you saw something close to pity in those eyes. Which you really didn’t like either of course. “I’m fine. You didn’t ice burn me that bad.”
“I tried not to.”
“I know.” It would have been much worse if he’d really been going all out.
“Akainu was on my ass some too of why I didn’t report you and Smoker both.” He added. “You should probably avoid that other admiral for a while. He’ll be looking for any reason to write you up.”
“Wonderful.” You sighed, knowing all too well that Akainu was an unforgiving, ‘might makes right’ kind of man himself. But if he was annoyed with you, it was likely more the fact that you’d been fighting in Mariejois itself rather than anything else. Putting marine dirty laundry out in front of the gods like that and all.
You and Aokiji were both quiet for a while again after. It was a calm aura though. You’d let your guard back down by then and were just finishing your oatmeal and fruit while he was working on a bagel he’d smeared with cream cheese.
Literally nothing was happening at your table but that, and yet as the mess hall had become more crowded you saw a few heads turning your way already. It was so stupid, but you guessed it was mostly just because his much higher rank. Simply sitting with you so close and casual, it was still making other sailors take second and even third looks at the scene.
Surely the narrative was going to be that your slutty self was already trying to bag Aokiji again. Literally just days after losing Smoker of course. And just as you’d been thinking how unfair those assumptions really were, Aokiji himself had to go and throw the ultimate wrench into it all.
“You want to get something to eat in the civilian  district tonight?” He asked, just as casually as anything.
As if that wasn’t like detonating a new bomb in your psyche.
When you stared back at him, he wasn’t even uncomfortable either. Maybe he simply wasn’t seeing this the way that you were.
“I know you hate being stuck here. I can invite whoever else too if you want to make a group thing out of it. There’s this new karaoke place they opened over there. I’ve heard they’ve got really good sushi and a hell of a bar.”
“I’m supposed to meet up with Vice Admiral Vergo today.” You said initially in absence of any better excuse.
Which he deflected easily actually. “Yeah, I heard he’s wanting to head to Sabaody just for the day. You’ll be back by tonight.”
Was he really just that worried about you that he thought you needed the forced socialization though? Or was it something else?
Regardless, whatever it was only got stranger though. Because you’d seen a little commotion at the main doors now.
A tall, dark haired marine had entered. He had a sharply trimmed beard and black sunglasses, as well as a small entourage of lower rank sailors all attentive around him.
You’d never seen him here before, so you were pretty sure exactly who he must be before the weirdest thing happened.
He’d looked in the direction of your table. And you saw his expression change. Not to say he was all that expressive to begin with. But you caught it. If only for a single second that he’d had a completely different look. 
Was it one of disapproval or maybe even concern? 
And he had made an absolute bee line to get to you both.
Whatever that odd energy was though, you saw even Aokiji straighten up, no longer slouching when the man came up on him from behind.
Yet the stranger’s voice was perfectly normal as he spoke. “Good morning, Admiral. May I join you?”
Aokiji had looked up in a little surprise, yet recognizing the other man as he nodded. “Vice Admiral Vergo, good morning. And yes of course. I was just talking to the Captain here.”
“I saw,” Vergo replied, head turning to give full attention to you then. “Captain (Y/N)? Vice Admiral Tsuru had recommended you for some help I’ll need while I’m here at HQ. If it’s alright, I’m actually ready to sail to Sabaody this morning if you’re done here. You were the one I was looking for.”
The sudden rush to leave when he’d literally just got here was bizarre to you too. Though it’s not like you couldn’t just agree. He would be in charge of you for now.
“Nice to meet you, sir.” You just nodded, though already picking up any trash of yours as clearly your breakfast was now over. “Yes, I’m ready to set sail. I’m at your disposal.”
“Good.” Vergo responded, already standing again then.
You stood too, ready to put away your tray and follow him.
But Aokiji spoke up one more time before you or Vergo could walk away.
“Have fun at the archipelago then. Let me know about dinner when you’re back. Okay?”
And again, it was just friendly, typical Aokiji in tone at least. But you felt strange as you’d seen Vergo hesitate slightly in front of you at the admiral’s words.
None of that new tension made any sense. So you just smiled without knowing what else to do. “Yeah, I’ll let you know, Admiral. See ya later.”
———————————
True to his word, Vergo really had been ready to sail. Because it hadn’t been long at all before you were standing on the bow of his ship then, watching the gates of Marineford open once more.
He was near your side as well as he explained the morning’s objectives. “I’ve agreed to take new recruits to Sabaody for patrols there today. They need to practice being in uniform and interacting with the citizens. This will be a diverse enough environment to do that in.”
Even though Sabaody could be very interesting when there off duty at least, just patrolling it with a bunch of newly enlisted sounded frankly boring.
Though it was still pretty satisfying to at least see the ocean again and hear the sails opening further in the wind as Vergo continued.
“But I have a separate job for you too.”
“Sir?” Of course you’d perked up a little at that. Something hopefully more interesting than babysitting the rookies at least.
“I pulled the latest certifications and it turns out our inspections of the ‘Employment Office’ in grove 1 are a couple months past due. Can you handle that for me?”
You stared a moment, but didn’t dare decline. Of course you could handle it. But it didn’t mean you wanted to set foot in that awful place if you didn’t have to. “I’ll check in if that’s what you need done. But are they selling today?” You still asked, hoping that answer would be a no. 
“I don’t know.” He answered though, black sunglasses just looking at you with no real expression again.
“Well…” You weren’t familiar with Vergo well enough to know how you were supposed to word this. “When it is a selling day, there could even be a Celestial Dragon there. Am I permitted to find any violation that could possibly delay an auction that they might be attending?”
“What you do is up to you.” He responded just as vaguely though. Not seeming to give it any thought at all. “That’s why I’m asking you to handle it.”
“Yes, sir.” You answered back without displaying how unhelpful you thought he was being. Maybe you really were just too used to Tsuru. 
Because even a seemingly easy assignment like this could end up a disaster if you pressed either too much or too little in relation to whatever Vergo’s personal standards were. Yet apparently he wasn’t even going to tell you where his line was right now.
So you’d just have to wing it you supposed.
—————————— 
On paper, the marines officially referred to this building as the “Public Employment Security Office”. Of course far better known for what it really was as the Human Auctioning House. An unfortunate and still very legal fixture out front and center in grove 1 of Sabaody Archipelago as you’d walked all the way there after disembarking from the marine ship at the harbor.
Vergo and the others had spread out to other areas. So you were on your own here as you’d announced yourself to the guards at the back door.
They didn’t look particularly interested. But showing them your rank and marine card gave them no choice but to begrudgingly let you in. You didn’t care about any pageantry in the front of house, purposefully coming in the back. Yet only to immediately be hit with the smell of the cage area.
If anything was going to be against current regulations, you were sure it was going to be here in the “backstage” as you frowned. 
The source of the smell was evident as there indeed was human stock in the cages to your unease. As much as you’d hoped this would have been an in between day where no one was yet being held for the next auction date.
Wonderful.
“The boss will be here in a minute. He had to make a call. We weren’t supposed to be having any inspections today.” Some lackey grunted at you as you started to look around while waiting.
“Legally we don’t have to give you any notice you know.” Though maybe that was part of why the place hadn’t been checked in a while per Vergo. Was it a true oops by your fellow marines, or an on purpose look the other way kind of thing?
You were guessing the latter by how much everyone seemed to be glaring through you even as an office door opened and another man finally came out.
“Well, this is awfully early to be getting my employees upset, don’t you think? I really don’t have the time for this, whoever you are.” The brightly attired man sneered a little at you. With a stupid looking hat and star shaped sunglasses on.
“Captain, (Y/N).” You corrected him. “And it smells like shit in here.”
The man immediately bristled even further at that, as if you were just the most vulgar brat he’d ever encountered. But you liked getting people like him even more on edge as quickly as possible. He wouldn’t be thinking straight to lie as easily to you. But he didn’t seem that smart anyway honestly.
“Well…that’s to be expected isn’t it with these animals?” And as he said so, he hit the cage bars in emphasis as to his disgust for the current inventory.
“You aren’t supposed to hold anyone in a legal auction site more than three days without the chance to properly clean themselves.” You responded as if you were only commenting on the weather though. Which was extremely difficult. But if you let your real emotions slip, you knew you’d just be wanting to wipe the floor with Mr. ‘Star Glasses’ and every guard in here.
You kept on too. “It’s really the bare minimum not to spread infection, as per the human trafficking amendments passed in the last reverie, Mr…who are you exactly?”
“Disco!” He almost yelled now. “And this is uncalled for! You’re supposed to schedule these inspections!”
“Yeah, well. That’s not what the law says either.”
“This is ridiculous.”
“It is.” You agreed as you continued to walk, watching the victims on the other side of the bars. It wasn’t that many really. Mostly human women today though, sitting on crates with their chains running to the wall behind them.
They wouldn’t even make eye contact with you though. And why should they? They knew the law here. A simple marine wasn’t going to be able to do a thing that would actually save them now. 
The best you could do was just give this shithead as much grief as possible. Minor fines maybe, stupid things like not spacing their chains out far enough, or failing to clear enough crates away from the fire exit. 
Which the idea of proper egress was laughable too of course, knowing only the workers would ever save themselves in any emergency. The slaves would just be left chained here to die.
Still, those kinds of slaps on the wrist had been your only real plan before you’d noticed a chain whose victim you could just see a hint of. They’d been small enough to fully disappear after too, cowering behind their crate as soon as they’d heard Disco’s voice berating you.
“Open this.” You said immediately at that, stopping then and there as your voice changed.
“What?” Disco scoffed. “Absolutely not!”
You glared back over your shoulder at him. “It wasn’t a request. Open the holding area. I want to inspect number 7.” You clarified in correspondence with the slaves’ numbered placards on the wall.
“Just who do you think you are!?” 
His voice was so annoying to you. “Either use the keys or I take the keys.” And as you said this, you tightened your fist, letting a purposeful display of haki crackle briefly across it. 
By the way he took a step back, he got the message finally. But he was still so high on himself. “Fine. Be a brute if you must. This will be the last time you’ll ever work in Sabaody again, Captain whoever you are!” He said it so mockingly. “Do you know who owns this place now!?”
But you were ignoring him by then. As one of the guards did open a gate in the bars and you walked in immediately to slave number seven’s holding place.
Disco was still bitching at you too as you quietly crouched on one knee to look behind that crate.
And you offered the softest smile you could manage, even though you could feel your blood already trying to boil.
“Hey there.” You told the young boy as he stared up at you with big fearful eyes. You’d thought you’d seen a hint of a tailfin too as you’d been walking, and you’d been right.
It was an extremely young merman. You’d guess only four or five years old honestly. His face was tear stained and clearly bruised as he still tried to make himself as small as possible under your gaze.
You didn’t want to frighten him anymore than he already was though. So you said nothing else to him even as you visually noted his partly emaciated look as well.
This wasn’t going to end well at all for anyone now. You already knew that as you finally stood again. Not when it came to literal children being in this hellhole. He was practically a baby for how short his fins still were.
And as you walked back out through the still open gate, your demeanor had gone fully cold.
“You’ve got underage product. You have to release him.” You said so confidently even as you were now mentally counting every guard, and weapon in your view.
It was something between a gasp and a laugh that escaped Disco at that. “You’re insane! And this is over! When my boss gets a hold of you, you stupid bitch-“
Your rope dart was off your shoulder in an instant, swinging as you let the flat side of the blade clock Disco hard enough to knock him right down onto his narrow ass.
Every guard had a gun pulled and aimed at you then.
But even they weren’t dumb enough to just start firing on a marine.
“Twelve is the minimum legal age for trafficking fishmen and merpeople.” You answered. But only even that much because of the newer restrictions that had just passed. “And if we want to play the ‘my boss is bigger than yours’ game, then alright. I can do that too.”
Your heart was pounding so hatefully and you knew you were about to lose control and beat all these guys into paste if you didn’t do something drastic like this.
You just prayed that the man you had in mind would actually answer as you pulled the small marine snail from your pocket. The big wigs at HQ you only needed to dial a three digit code for on a marine officer’s snail like this.
Of course you had his memorized as you keyed it immediately and everyone else could hear the snail trying to connect. And they were surprised into further silence as he did answer with a loud click.
“This is Admiral Aokiji…”
How big all their eyes then became told you you were now the one in control here.
“Hey, it’s me.” You replied, though doing your best not to sound too angry still. But you were also petty enough to really want to make these jerks sweat now that you had a higher authority in play. “Remember how you wanted to go get sushi tonight?”
Was Disco’s ‘boss’ he kept threatening you with friends with an admiral like you were? You wanted that slaver prick especially to understand all this.
“Yeah. When are you back? I’m off duty at 19 hundred.” He answered you so easily too. But he knew your voice inflections well, just like you knew his. You could tell he already sensed some kind of bullshit afoot. But he was still a team player enough to wait for you to explain the how or why.
“Well how about lunch in Sabaody instead?” You offered, watching the men around you spiral further by their expressions. “I’ve run into a little trouble here at the ‘Employment Office’. You’re on speaker by the way.”
“Ah.” He didn’t sound surprised at all about the trouble part at least. Nor did he care that they could already hear him. “You need backup then?”
“No, I think it’s okay. I’m just trying not to make a scene truthfully. They have an underage merman here that they don’t want to release. While I think they really should. What do you think, Admiral?”
You could about see the sweat running down Disco’s face now in the brief silence as Aokiji considered the question. The auctioneer had stood back up at some point from where you’d knocked him down earlier. But now looked like he may collapse again on his own here shortly.
Aokiji eventually spoke to them for you however, going into full marine protocol then. “This is Admiral Aokiji. Captain (Y/N) does have the authority to release individuals held below the legal age limit as per the last trafficking treaty amendments with the World Government.”
But he still finished with a more personal touch. You’d almost forgotten how much he did like to mess with you sometimes. “Also, more off the record, but she really has a soft spot for kids too. You’re barking up the wrong tree here, fellas. I’d let the boy go and cut your losses now if you don’t want her boot through your teeth. She’s got my permission to do what she has to.”
It always felt so good to win. “Thanks, Admiral. I think we’re done here.” You answered, properly satisfied.
“Alright. Call if you need me. It’s a paperwork kind of day, so I wouldn’t mind getting out. Sabaody isn’t far.” He said as one last threat to these men of course.
“Understood.” You were about to hang up too before he added.
“And I still want sushi. Let me know when you’re on your way back to base.”
You paused, and as out of place as it should have been here and now, you did truly smile before you could stop yourself. Because he was rarely this persistent. Of course you couldn’t remember the last time you’d called him direct either. It was a bit nostalgic.
“I’ll let you know. I’ve still got to see what else Vergo needs from me after this.” You answered him.
“Okay. See ya.” He agreed.
“Bye.” You finished, hanging up the snail to look back at Disco and his henchmen.
The looks on their faces were still some sort of mix between horror and amazement. 
You were feeling pretty happy in that moment too, thinking you’d at least just saved a child while also preventing the political consequences of an all out brawl at a legal auction house.
But pride had been your weakness before. And that trend didn’t stop here today as you almost didn’t feel the touch when it finally happened.
It was as gentle as a cobweb ghosting across the back of your neck. And that was what you’d really thought it was. Just dusty refuse from the cavernous darkness of the rafters above.
Even Disco didn’t know what had happened at first. Your body had just stopped when you’d been walking to get the merboy’s keys from him. You could see the auctioneer’s face turn to confusion, much like your own as suddenly all your limbs were resisting you. 
And even behind those ridiculous star shaped sunglasses, you saw his expression change to absolute shock not long after. Just as you heard a large something land directly behind you, the lurking predator pouncing down at last from out of the rafters.
“Boss!” Disco screeched, looking half between a heart attack and renewed hope as he stared up and over your shoulder.
But you already knew. That familiar flutter of fear was clear even before Doflamingo’s warm body pressed against your back and his hand ran around to grab your jaw from behind.
“Back for more so soon, (Y/N)?” He’d said it so goddamn enticingly too, just before he’d jerked your head backward painfully. An upside down, and very rough kiss then forced on you as you couldn’t pull away from him.
Your body wouldn’t listen at all below the neck as you felt the vibration of his laugh even as he squeezed your jaw to the point of bruising. His long tongue was then trying to force its way past your teeth again.
And the fools all around you were left in stunned silence yet again at this newest scene. It’d been an absolute rollercoaster of surprises for everyone in this room in just these last few minutes.
But when Doflamingo did finally end the kiss again, with a little string of spit breaking between your mouths as he pulled away, it was still Disco who had the audacity to speak first.
“I…I knew you were on the island, sir. But I didn’t know that you were already here. Who is…I mean, do you know her, sir?” Disco sounded like he was trying to understand, apologize, and beg for his life all at once.
“I wasn’t far when you called. Quit groveling.” Doflamingo just reprimanded him bluntly, but with those red sunglasses never looking away from you. “And yes, I more than know this bitch. Unfortunately.”
By his unhappy tone, you immediately remembered his threat from Mariejois as well. To never mess with his income again. But there’d been nothing on the record of the warlord being involved here. But goddamn Disco had said it earlier, hadn’t he?
Do you know who owns this place now!?”
Implying a more recent partnership between the two. But no, this was still utter bullshit. You hadn’t known. How could you have?
“Doflam-“ You tried to say. You wanted to argue at least. But his name didn’t even make it fully out of your mouth. His fingers had slid across your lips in one harsh swipe, coating them in thick string instead. String that he then pulled tight around the back of your head to gag and fully silence you.
“Too late, woman.” He grumbled, and there was a whole new venom to it now. “Come on, Disco…into the office and we’ll deal with this mess.” 
Doflamingo was walking away from you then. He had one hand in his pocket again, but the other near his hip as his fingers moved. And as they did, so did your legs and feet. You were forced along behind him as the three of you entered Disco’s office and the door was slammed shut behind you.
“Get your ledger.” Doflamingo seemed to almost be ignoring you in the moments that followed too, glare focused on his underling instead. “How much did you pay the traders for that boy?”
You could tell in the flustered way that Disco now sat at his desk and started digging through drawers, that this wasn’t exactly going well for him either.
Carefully while those two were focused on each other though, you had tried to draw out your haki again. You weren’t sure how Doflamingo’s parasite ability truly functioned. You knew he’d attached something to your neck earlier, but was that all you had to break to be free of him?
Yet whatever this connection now was, he must have immediately felt your attempt at resistance against it. Because even though you’d barely done anything, he’d jerked his hand so violently in response that your body had slammed down to Disco’s desk with an audible cracking sound in the wood itself.
Disco gasped nearly as loud as that breaking sound when your chest hit his desk that hard. More papers were also knocked away when you were then forced to splay your hands out on either side of your head.
You couldn’t say any true curse of pain either with those strings still across your mouth.
But you were now fully bent over the desk. Your head near Disco who was seated there in shock, and your ass now tilted up as Doflamingo bent his own long legs just enough to get his pelvis even with the back of your skirt.
“I’m still waiting on that amount, Disco.” Doflamingo grumbled to snap the other man out of his staring even as you felt the warlord’s hands starting to rub your hips impatiently.
“Yes, um…well….it’s right here!” Disco finally exclaimed as he pulled the paper out of a stack of others deep within one of the drawers.
Doflamingo easily snatched the document from the other man’s hand. He was just holding it above your back as he read through it next, all the while still stroking your hip distractedly with his other hand.
“Feh. You paid too much. They ripped you off, you idiot.” The warlord scoffed after the quick read too, just tossing the paper to let it also flutter to the floor somewhere. 
You could almost hear Disco swallow in a response of fear to that. Even as he tried to explain. “But it’s…relative to current market price, sir.”
“You’re going by last month’s prices!” Doflamingo growled again in return, making the other man shrink back even further. “It spiked last month, but it’s all down again now. And you bought him when it was already going back down. You should be fucking smart enough to anticipate those trends!”
The room was silent for a long moment following that latest outburst. And as disgusting as it was, both you and Disco had something briefly in common then. Because neither of you knew what to do or to expect next from Doflamingo.
“And now we’ll have to eat that loss.” The warlord did eventually continue almost quietly by comparison though. But somehow that dark tone was even worse. Much worse as you finally realized what his real trigger had been all along. “All because this one thinks she can sick her new lover on us.” 
He had heard everything then. He’d snuck in in time enough to catch your phone stunt with Aokiji and made his own conclusions from it. This wasn’t just about the slaves or the business.
This was jealousy.
And as your adrenaline spiked, Doflamingo pulled both your skirt and underwear down in one harsh jerk. Both pieces of clothing then falling around your ankles as you tried and failed to fight him off.
Yes, you’d wanted him again. But not like this. Not when you now realized he was absolutely livid and planning to truly hurt you.
“You can stay, Disco. She needs to learn some new humility I think.” He said to your additional horror, even doubling down in this cruelty as he continued. “Hell, jack off while you watch for all I care. She was just trying to work you over too wasn’t she?”
And Disco, the spineless cockroach that he was, had his tune changing immediately in response to this new development. “Yes. She was being quite a menace before you arrived, sir! She deserves nothing less!” The coward was almost gleeful again then when he realized he might really be off the hook now, and was about to get a nasty show for free as well.
Two sadistic fucks is what they both were in this moment.
You tried to flare your haki yet again in angry desperation. And this time you were actually able to move one of your arms before you felt Doflamingo’s grip squeezing the back of your neck in retaliation. Hard enough to make you feel light headed as he was compressing the blood flow to your brain just as quickly.
“I don’t think she’s going to be too happy with this arrangement though.” You could hear the grin in his voice again as you struggled, your face still pressed so harshly into the papers across the desk.
“And I’d naively thought you’d actually enjoyed our last playdate by the end. But how fickle you are, you dirty bitch.” Doflamingo chided lowly as well. But there was an additional edge to those words. Was he daring to actually paint himself as the true victim here? He was acting as if you deserved every bit of this as he started undoing the drawstrings of his pants.
Your heart was pounding, ribs aching still from where he’d slammed you down as you then heard him spit into his own palm. 
You knew when his cock was free again too as you felt the long member bumping against your nude backside as he stroked himself, lubing the length with that spit as he finished hardening up.
But this wasn’t your only nightmare. As you even had this other, cast off little backbiter to worry about as well then as you could hear Disco’s belt dangerously near your face as he clumsily undid his pants as well.
Doflamingo was just laughing again though at your predicament. He wanted you to be afraid of what he’d allow his subordinate to do to you too didn’t he? He was more than enjoying this.
“I suppose we should give Disco something to look at besides just your pretty face though shouldn’t we, whore?” Doflamingo commented even on top of that. The warlord made you rear back with his parasite ability again, your body then standing up against him as your hands worked on their own against your will once more. 
He was making you strip for them.
You were taking off your marine coat first. Your weapon and it going to the floor even as you scowled and glared.
With your skirt and underwear already on the floor, this now left just your shirt and bra on. Which of course in another movement of Doflamingo’s fingers, you were then being forced to undo as well.
You could hear the resulting arousal in Doflamingo’s voice too as more of your skin was exposed to his view. That same tone from the warlord which had invaded your dreams for so many nights as you now stood fully nude before both men. Nothing but your boots on.
“What do you say, Disco?” Doflamingo asked, even making you turn a full circle, like a little marionette for them to ogle. “She has such a cute, wet little cunt. Breasts to match, hips to grab…pretty understandable why even admirals are getting in line to ride her…”
“She’d go for a good price, sir.” Disco breathed, sounding different too then as you realized even his smaller cock was also now out in the air while he stroked it with his thighs spread shamelessly in his office chair. 
You didn’t want to fucking see that though as you looked back to the ground in a mix of disgust and embarrassment.
“Well now…you know what else I really think, (Y/N)?” And there was Doflamingo actually saying your name again. But his voice couldn’t have possibly been more spiteful in this moment. “I’m starting to realize that you’d make a good throw away wife for even a Celestial Dragon.” 
His hands were back on your body then as he bent you forcefully over the desk again. But he was stroking your stomach actually as his hand moved down, his fully hard cock pressing against you now even though he didn’t enter you yet.
He was leaning down too, dark voice heavy as he threatened more with his ideas. “So how’d you like to be fucked raw every morning, noon, and night by a new master?“
He laughed again too at this, as if imagining it already with his hand still oddly on your lower abdomen. His fingers were pressing harder and harder into that skin.
It hurt badly, but what followed was an even different kind of unease as he kept on with this new game.
“They might even decide to breed you too before it was done. And would you like that, woman? You want a brat of your own right? Since you can’t even mind your own fucking business when it comes to someone else’s can you?”
Yes, it was specifically your womb that Doflamingo was now compressing. He knew exactly where it was as he tormented you, further mocking your previous empathy for that slave child.
You knew his goal was mostly to further dehumanize you here. But it seemed too personal all the same, too easy to rile him with this as you could hear the warlord almost reduced to those panting breaths again as he reached under you to squeeze your breasts next. He was chuckling some more as he pressed that soft flesh of your chest painfully between his calloused fingers. 
“…And if you and I did that, how swollen with milk would these get I wonder?” He still sneered as he thought of it, his hips bucking against you involuntarily then as you whined against the string gag still in your mouth. 
Yes, he was truly getting off on it all. A kink you never would have imagined in someone like him. Or maybe it did make more sense than it should. Here was a true narcissist who thought they had the right to cast and sew their seed wherever they wanted. To taint and claim another person’s body in each and every way.
But Doflamingo as a father though?
God help that poor child if they ever came to actually exist.
“Maybe we’ll just have to find out someday…” Was all he said next though, and as he did, he could finally wait no longer. He did force the head of his massive cock back into you. But with no foreplay this time, no extra care to help stretch you beforehand at all. He just slammed all the way up to your cervix in one harsh thrust.
And even with your mouth covered in those strings, your resulting scream was likely heard by every slave and guard in the backstage area beyond.
You were then trembling against your will, unable to fight anymore against that parasite entrapment. Your eyes began watering with the pain, your face pressed against the desk as you heard Disco moan in return. The auctioneer was thrusting hard into his own hand near your face, almost euphoric for the torture he was now witnessing.
You closed your eyes tightly, tears beginning to soak that paperwork below your face by then as you tried to dissociate from the room entirely. 
They could still have your lifeless shell if they wanted. But you weren’t going to react anymore save for the tears which you somehow couldn’t stop.
It wasn’t just the humiliation or the pain though. This was you hating yourself. Hating how many nights you’d actually thought of this man as if he wouldn’t just rape you again at first opportunity. 
But this is what he’d always been. This was what he always would be. You were delusional to have ever fantasized him as anything more.
Yet he still hadn’t moved since your scream. Even as you still waited for him to start ripping you apart, he didn’t thrust anymore at all.
And when you felt his fingertips across your tear stained face instead, you shivered slightly. An involuntary movement again as you still refused to open your eyes and even look at him.
“Disco….get the fuck out.” Doflamingo spoke so suddenly then. And his voice was absolutely deadly, even with his hard cock still tense against the edge of your wounded cervix.
And you heard Disco’s chair move almost simultaneously, a pathetic whimper from the auctioneer as it did. Even a man like that wasn’t stupid enough to ask questions in a moment like this.
Your breathing was so shallow by then though, body still, as you did hear the office door open and shut again.
For the first time, you felt cold too. No part of Doflamingo was touching you except for his cock inside and his hand that had been against your face.
But those fingers pulled away too now as the heaviest silence hung in the room once you were both alone.
“You make me fucking miserable.” Was the words that actually came out of his mouth next as your wet eyes opened slightly in the shock of that.
He was scowling. No smile at all as the red sunglasses stared down at the mess he’d made of you.
But you did make another involuntary cry of pain against your gag as he unceremoniously slid back out of you then. The pressure spiked briefly as the head of his cock had had to further stretch your already torn entrance one more time on the way out.
With another shift of his hand, the strings finally released your mouth as well. He moved away from the desk entirely then too, leaving you there as you could see him walk to the side of the room.
His pants were still open, cock fully hard as you realized there was an actual sheen of blood over his erection.
Your blood.
He’d completely torn your opening this time as well as bloodied your cervix with the force of the hit.
There was a beverage cart there against the wall. With a pitcher of ice water and other items for Disco. Hand towels were near the bottom of the cart, and you watched as Doflamingo used one to wipe his cock clean before taking another towel to pour some of the ice water over it.
You didn’t understand his intent at first as he now walked back over to you with the cold, wet towel.
“Come here,” He said. But his voice was practically emotionless then, foreign almost. He made you stand, but moved behind you to sit on the edge of the desk himself before he pulled your still naked body up into his lap.
With both of you then on the desk together, and your back against his abdomen, he reached that wet towel in front to start wiping you out between your legs.
It still stung badly of course as you shifted in discomfort. And you could see the initial bright red coming off into the wet towel. But when the thickest of the blood was wiped away, he then held the towel there to keep pressure over where you were still bleeding.
And the two of you stayed like that in silence for what had to be at least several minutes.
“I wanted you to fight back.” His voice finally came out above you again. You could feel his chest rising and falling almost gently now with his regular breathing. “But you just gave up instead.”
“I’m not superhuman.” You answered after another long moment. Not knowing what else to do.
You weren’t foolish enough to consider this conversation any actual sign of guilt or contrition from this man. But whatever he’d expected was clearly not what this had turned into. Hurting you hadn’t done for him what he thought it would at some level at least.
So he now tried just business again first. “If you want us to release that boy, then fine. I don’t give a shit anymore. Disco fucked that up from the beginning.”
But then the heavy silence was right back again. You weren’t answering him.
And he didn’t like it.
“Would you say something already?” He spoke then and you felt him pull you back a little tighter against him. 
For the briefest moment, you actually thought he was the one wanting to be comforted then. Which was the most insane thing you could possibly imagine after what he had just done to you.
“I am not sleeping with Aokiji.” The words just left your mouth when you could think of nothing else. Because that assumption had started everything hadn’t it? He’d had an outright tantrum, a warlord level tantrum because of that.
“But you want to.” And Doflamingo’s voice did bristle dangerously, not denying his sensitivity on this. “A woman doesn’t smile the way you did when you were talking to him when it’s anything less than that.”
You were staring at the opposite wall then. Too surprised to properly argue for that moment. Had he been that close as well earlier? And he was really going to judge you for something as involuntary as a simple smile?
But Aokiji was only concerned for your well being most likely. And frankly, who wouldn’t be if they gave even the slightest damn about you at all? You knew you’d been acting a lot differently around everyone after this had all started.
“He’s just worried about me. I don’t have many friends.” You spoke again. But still watching the wall carefully, not knowing at all how Doflamingo would react now.
And he was painfully quiet again. His hand only moved enough to check that towel against your slit, looking to see if you were still spotting into it. When it seemed that you weren’t, he let the towel drop to the floor, splaying his hand out possessively on your thigh instead.
“Then if that’s true, come with me. Take shore leave and stay in Sabaody a few nights. I have a house down the beach from here.” 
His voice was nearly gentle then, but the coil of temptation still darkened it. It wasn’t a kind sound at all.
“I’m on assignment with Vice Admiral Vergo in Tsuru’s absence.” You said reflexively, trying to mask your surprise at the abrupt invitation.
“Heh,” He breathed and you felt his hand wandering from your thigh up your naked torso now. “Then let me sweeten the pot. Stay three nights with me, and every slave under this roof today walks free.”
You immediately turned your head to look up at him in shock at that.
But he was already smiling down at you. “Oh, I’m serious. But it’s absolutely a one time offer. My reputation isn’t tied to this place yet. I haven’t even had them paint my jolly roger on anything here so far while we’ve cleaned house. I just bought it two months ago mainly for the location of course. Prime real estate nestled so close to both Mariejois and Marineford. But I can still spare today’s inventory for a better long term investment.”
He was massaging one of your breasts again now, making it clear that you were said investment that he was speaking of. But he couldn’t help himself either as you felt his cock twitch against your lower back. It was stiffening once more. “Think of how much credit you’d get for that too. The captain that actually set slaves free in Sabaody on some clever legal technicalities. And only in a single morning there. What a negotiator and little hero you’d be.”
“How do I know they wouldn’t just be recaptured later, for it all to be for show?” You did ask, but carefully so.
And he even liked that cynicism too. “Fair point. I suppose you’d have to get them escorted straight to Marineford to sort out later. Otherwise, yes. I’m only saying I’ll release them. What happens after isn’t in my terms.”
You still looked doubtful you were sure, but even a chance for these people was better than nothing. You may be a lot of things, but soulless wasn’t one of them. If you could save even a stranger from a lifetime of that kind of torture and servitude, of course you were going to try.
“I accept.” You said, though still feeling as if you’d been given no other choice.
And he actually encircled his arms around you at that. The pink feather coat easily encapsulating you in his warmth as his cock pressed firm into the small of your back.
“Perfect. I’m sure that little merbrat and the others will tell stories for generations to come of the beautiful marine that swooped in like an angel in their darkest hour.”
Doflamingo was mocking you already again of course, but he was in a much better mood now. A very stark contrast of how livid he’d been when first entering this room.
He was such an overly emotional person really, even on top of all his other faults. 
And though another deal to meet him again soon had already been struck, he wasn’t quite ready to let you go just yet either.
With his height difference and strength, it was always easy for him to move you. So he picked you up abruptly, though not roughly this time as he made you turn around on his thighs.
Now you were almost facing him, sideways in his lap as he sat on the desk edge still with his long legs spread open. Nestled in the warmth of his coat around you both as he took one of your hands and placed it on his hard shaft.
“Go on and jack me off then, angel, so we can get out of here.” He breathed again, making his still intimidating member move a little against your palm.
“You’ll cum everywhere,” You said bluntly though, trying to ignore the new nickname he may have just given you. As if you were anything even close to angelic.
“The mess is part of the fun.” He countered almost playfully. But did stretch his hand briefly out to snap another clean towel from that cart as a string brought the towel instantly up into his grip.
He balled it up and put it in your reach to do as you wished with it.
“Come on. You’re still on duty aren’t you? The clock is ticking.” He pressed, but more for his own impatience rather than any concern for your work status.
Yet you were still a bit overwhelmed. It was honestly the first time you had been free to touch him between his own legs. Having been restrained for most the time before.
But he clearly liked it as you did start to stroke him. He groaned quietly, that bit of precum already forming into a large droplet at his tip.
“You know this is what Disco wanted you to do to him. Either like this or with your mouth of course…” Doflamingo smirked cruelly, but twitching his swollen cock again in your hand all the same. “Harder.” He bid you to squeeze him in between the strokes.
But you immediately frowned at the mention of Disco. Fuck that cowardly man, and not at all literally.
But Doflamingo was starting to shift his hips even from his seated place still on the desk. Thrusting up into your hand as he responded. “Don’t make that face, woman. Threesomes can be a hell of a time with the right company. Trust me though, I’d never really waste you on the likes of him. No matter how pissed off I was. That was strictly a look, don’t touch arrangement. If he’d tried to put that pencil dick on you, I would have ripped his balls off myself.”
That disgusting mental image didn’t make you feel any better of course. But you still said nothing, letting the warlord run his mouth as he so liked to do whenever his energy was high.
“There’s actually someone else I think may appreciate you if I can get him to quit being such a stuck up twat anyway. I might have to work on that actually.” Doflamingo grinned more at this even as he started to try and lean down enough to get at your neck. 
You didn’t know at all who he might mean as his attention focused back to your throat soon enough though. His teeth nipped you just before he licked the skin there greedily.
But you did really pause as you felt his mouth close on that same wet skin immediately after to begin roughly sucking it.
“You can’t leave marks.” You jerked a little as his teeth pressed down again next. Too high on your neck to be easily covered later.
“I can do whatever the fuck I want,” He admonished you though. Quick to remind you that he answered to no one, even when slipping back into whatever state this was that your presence often put him in.
So he sucked your neck harder of course just to show you. 
You made a noise and he laughed against that already bruising skin. “Oh shut up. I’ll buy you some new shirts with a proper cut. I want to see you dressed up anyway for me. Diamonds and high heels while I fuck you raw in my castle, angel. That’s a goddamn promise.”
And you were almost too slow with the towel. You sensed it coming in the way his breath had hitched in that final taunting. But he’d still covered your hand in that thick white mess as he orgasmed. Which you did put the towel over both his cock and your hand before the remainder pulsed out while he shuddered.
“Mmm.” He did that almost purr like growl, quite satisfied in the aftermath as his hands ran up your bare back, almost massaging you then. “You’re pretty fun after all, woman.”
It was night and day with him. You didn’t know how to explain it. From disgusting violence to almost true affection like the swing of a pendulum. And all in the brief span of just being in this one room together.
“And you can go get your stupid sushi with popsicle dick as an additional reward if you’re so damn lonely. I know you still won’t fuck anyone else until this heals.” And as Doflamingo said that, his hand slipped back between your own legs to very gently rub just the outer lips of your still stinging cunt. It was almost an apologetic touch.
Almost.
“But from now on, I want to know about these things. You’d be surprised how long of a leash I’m willing to give to those that I trust. But that’s the thing…I don’t trust anyone who keeps secrets from me.”
And even as he warned you of this, he was leaning down to kiss you all over again. This time on the lips warmly as you did lean up into it.
Everything was still so very wrong though. You had a brain. You knew what abusive relationships were, and that real love never made demands or bargained for control. 
But you’d never had real love either, or even a blood family for that matter. Yet another hungry orphan from the North Blue was all you’d ever been. Right up until your thieving ways had gotten you a trip direct into the brig of Tsuru’s ship. It was then either enlist as a chore girl for her or enjoy prison on the mainland.
You’d heard a saying once too that children who had never been fed love on spoons were doomed to grow up licking it from knives instead.
Surely you didn’t remember the quote exactly now. But this man was your knife if ever you had seen one. And Tsuru was still the closest you’d ever had to the spoon, but was it enough to counteract him?
As his fingers twisted tightly into your hair with another deep kiss, it was hard to imagine anything else surpassing the intensity of emotions this demon still inspired in you.
You were falling after all. Maybe not exactly in the way Smoker had first said you would through ambition alone. But a burning path to self destruction could be the only end result all the same. 
———————————
T⨂  BE 
CONTINUED
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Thanks for reading!
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Something something pre-t and post-e trans ppl are the only ones popularized by society both cis and queer and the bioessentialist societal understanding of femininity as calm and unthreatening
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chicknstripz · 11 months
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∘₊✧ [[ Dust Motes ]] ✧₊∘
Pairing ||  Captain Fordo X OFC Word count || 2168 Warnings || Separation anxiety, Anger, Bitterness, One grumpy Alpha ARC, Thorn being a menace Overview || Fordo gets his first day on the beat, unfortunately it's anything but productive Chapters || [1][2]
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Fordo watches yet another stylus disappear up Thorn’s vambrace, the secretive action drawing a sigh of agitation from the ARC.
“Why are we here again?”
Thorn tilts his head, the light of an off-yellow panel turning the red of his paint near orange.
“Surveillance of suspect citizens”
Suspect citizens? Has Thorn lost the entire plot? As far as he could see there was nothing suspect going on, unless you counted that amorous couple getting up to no good on the display bed. Kriff! Fordo is sure their shebs will be emblazoned in his mind until the end of time, the tick of his brow worsened by the woman’s laughter as a frazzled manager bans them for life.
“And that involves petty theft, how exactly?”
His companion appears unconcerned, his modulator catching the amused huff that escapes his lips. Of all the brothers he could have been paired with, it had to be Thorn! The commander’s complete lack of protocol rubbed him the wrong way, from the moment he’d met him this morning right up till now. Or maybe he was just in a bad mood? Whatever the case he wasn’t happy with this whole ‘wandering the department store’ looking for ‘suspect citizens’ thing, his thumb tucking into his belt as he watches his brother navigate yet another isle.
“Relax vod, they’re free to take.”
He bites back the sharp retort that’s sitting on his tongue, his eyes dropping to a couch that’s filled to the brim with cushions.
“How am I supposed to relax when I know the war’s heating up?”
Thorn, to his credit, doesn’t react to his unexpected outburst. He stares dead ahead as he walks, the set of his shoulders relaxed as he leads the way toward the back of the store. The space is fairly large, the cavernous ceiling bouncing both light and sound in a sickening way, and Fordo wonders what’s worse. Standing in the middle of this acoustic nightmare, or standing in no man’s land, the unease making him bristle as he brushes past a group of scowling teens.
“The front lines aren’t the only place where the war is heating up ....”
“That’s not what I meant!”
Thorn grips him by the shoulder before he can stride out of reach, and if Fordo hadn’t been so frustrated he’d have been impressed by the shorter soldier’s ability to keep him in place.
“I know what you meant!”
The grip loosens as Thorn realizes two things. One, that Fordo is much broader than he is around the torso, and two, his sturdy frame is packed with dense muscle. Which isn’t to say that Thorn would lose the fight if Fordo decided to start one, it’s just that he knows he’ll come out the worst for it if he does, his palms held outward in a soothing gesture.
“I’d be just as miserable as you if I was separated from the rest of my batch.”
They might have different genetics, might have been trained for different things, but if there was one thing they both understood it was the bond of brotherhood. Thorn keeps his body language loose and unthreatening, watching a group of civvies as they skirt past them. He doesn’t think any of them will cause problems, but you could never be too careful in this day and age.
“I can set up a frequency for you, make sure you and your brothers get a chance to talk --”
“Thanks, but no thanks.”
The longer the range of the com, the higher the chance of it being intercepted by the CIS, and Fordo wasn’t about to risk the lives of his vode for the sake of idle chatter.
“But --”
Fordo stepped away before Thorn could press the issue further, the edge of his pauldron hitting a civilian as he did so. Kriff! He was built to be more aware than this, his special awareness honed to perfection by hours of training, and he’s not sure what’s worse. Being highly aware that he’s not performing to expected standards, or that he’s forgotten his manners - his voice tight as he crouches down to gather the items the civvie dropped.
“Kriff! Sorry! I --”
He trails off, caught completely unawares by the soft curves of the civilian. Fordo wasn’t an idiot, he knew what a woman looked like, but this was the first time he’d been this close to one. She was shorter than him, the crown of her head barely reaching his shoulder as he stood upright with an armful of plastoid mugs. The wave of her golden hair fascinated him, the shade both richer and warmer than the pale blonde of his brethren Rex. As did the way it framed her face, the soft bangs and wayward strands complimenting the line of her worried brows.
“I didn’t hurt you did I? For Kriff's sake, how can you possibly hurt him Sella. He’s wearing plastoid!”
Her rambling was, and he hated to admit it, kind of cute. The rise and fall of her inner-rim accent making his head spin as he blurted a correction to her statement.
“Duraplast ma’am”
She blinked in confusion, drawing attention to her bright green irises, and Fordo (once again) found himself fascinated by just how different she was to his vode.
“I didn’t know they issued that kind of rig to the guard?”
“My ori’vod is special, top of the range! Right vod?”
The familiarity in Thorn’s voice led Fordo to believe they knew one another, the sly slope of his brother’s brow all but confirming his suspicions as he shouldered his arm.
“Right.”
He tried to keep his tone neutral - he really did, but the sharp edge of discomfort creeped in despite his best efforts. It was one thing to know you were different from your vode, another to hear them proudly announce it to all and sundry. He shifts his weight as he examines Thorn’s armor out the corner of his eyes, noting the differences in weight and style as he did so. He wanted Thorn to be angry at him. Wanted him to be pissed that he’d been issued with better gear! But he wasn’t. He just gave him the same respect as anyone else, the tilt of his helmet as aggravating as it was assuring.
“So what are you up to? Beside the usual?”
“Can’t say ma’am, it’s classified!”
She gives Thorn a knowing look, her eyes briefly dropping to his vambrace.
“I see. Decorating Fox’s office again?”
Thorn makes a sound of mock hurt, one hand flying to the center of his cuirass/
“Who? Me?”
She shakes her head at his denial, her hair dancing about her shoulders as she retrieves her mugs from Fordo’s arms.
“Don’t let this idiot get into too much trouble, he only just got off ‘fresher duty.”
“How do you know him ma’am?”
Her laughter is like a bird song, the sound lifting his soul as she stacks the mugs along the curve of her arm.
“He’s one of our best slash worst customers”
“Am not!”
“Uh-huh, tell that to the senate. I run the café three floors down from the barracks, you should pop by some time.”
Fordo isn’t sure what to make of her wink, the motion causing a dimple to appear in her right cheek. Nor is he sure if he’ll take up her invitation. He’s got better things to do than hang out in a café doing -- well -- whatever civvies do in cafés.
“You too. It’s been awhile since we last saw you.”
“Sorry mesh’la. Things have been busy.”
Fordo isn’t sure why Thorn’s endearment rankles him. He’s heard plenty of his vode call a woman beautiful. Perhaps it’s just the setting? Yeah! That has to be it! He grits his teeth as she adds the final mug to her stack, the one handed grip impressing him as she takes a step back.
“Politicians giving you trouble again?”
“When don’t they?”
She laughs again, tossing her hair over her shoulder as she slips between them.
“I’ll make sure to add a token of my appreciation the next time they make an order.”
Fordo frowns as she takes her leave, the unsettled feeling morphing to a deep concern for her welfare.
“She’s going to get herself fired, or worse, arrested.”
Thorn appears less than concerned, the relaxed slope of his shoulders adding to Fordo’s list of things he hates about coruscant.
“Won’t be the first time.”
Fordo closed his eyes and counted to ten, the muscles in the back of his neck protesting as he replayed Thorn’s words.
“And let me guess, you bailed her out?”
“Of course we did! It’s better than dealing with Fox if he has to brew his own caff!”
He adds a further count of ten, but it does little to settle the churn in his gut. He’s used to troopers following the rules. Used to a certain sense of order, and this? This isn’t it. What's worse is that Thorn seems to think he’ll get used to it. The things he says? The way he looks at him. It all says ‘just give it time’, the sly smile that curls his lips making him feel adrift in a stormy sea. He tries to lean into it, tries to relax, but it feels all wrong and he suspects it always will - the chatter of the citizens adding to his disconnect.
“You’ll end up getting decommissioned if the long-necks find out.”
“As if they give a flying mynark what goes on in the inner core.”
He supposes that’s true, but he can’t help but feel like Thorn is punching a one-way ticket to whatever facility the Kaminoans sent defective clones to.
“You’ll be surprised what they can find out if they put their minds to it ...”
“What? You've been sent to spy on us vod?”
Fordo holds up his hands, offended by the very suggestion that he’d work for a Kaminoan.
“Kriff no! But I wouldn’t put it past them planting some mind washed souls amongst suspected dissidents.”
Fordo had met plenty of clones like that, and had despaired at how easy they found it to report their questioning vode to the kaminoans. He didn’t entirely blame them for it, especially when it earned praise and accolades from the Kaminoans, but he had kind of hoped there’d be more loyalty among brothers. He bit his lip as they slipped out the store and into the street, the neon lights giving the city a dystopian air that matched his mood. Something smells rotten, and it wasn’t just the Kaminoans adding to that particular stench - he could feel it!
“Wouldn’t put it past the chancellor either.”
“Now who’s asking for a decommissioning?”
“Just saying it how I see it, and I’ve certainly seen a lot in this year’s records. What? Don’t look at me like that. You might not be special ops but you’d still put the hours in if you found yourself transferred to a new post.”
Thorn’s face shifts, half knowing acceptance of Fordo’s observation, and half discomfort at his boss's reputation being questioned.
“He’s just doing the best he can ...”
“By shipping a Zillo beast to triple-zero? I know that politicians can be short sighted at times, but that? That takes the Uj.”
The two men drift into silence, each processing what the other had said as they walked along the street. Fordo can’t help but think of Sella, of how scared she must have been as the Zillo beast ran riot, of how she must have tried so hard to find shelter. Palpatine hadn’t cared about her, hadn’t given a single thought to what could happen if the beast escaped. Maker, what was he even doing with it in the first place? You didn’t just bring ‘invincible’ creatures to the most populous city in the galaxy without having a reason.
If he was paid for his opinion he’d say the chancellor and the Kaminoans were in cahoots, but he wasn’t being paid, and he hadn’t been asked - so he pushed the traitorous thought to the back of his mind.
“All I’m saying is that we should have eyes in the backs of our heads.”
“When they said you Alphas were paranoid they certainly meant it.”
Fordo took that as a compliment, but only because he’d taken being overly paranoid over being stone cold dead.
“Better to be paranoid then caught with your kute down. Talking of which, I might have a way to sniff out those pesky little terrorists.”
“Oh? Prey tell”
“Only once I’ve ironed out the specifics, my contacts are not always co-operative when it comes to sharing tech.”
He wasn’t looking forward to negotiating with Jaing, but he’d rather have the ability to map out the whole terrorist network in one go then do months of detective work. He closes his eyes, tilts back his head, and wonders if he should take Sella up on her offer because right now he could do with a mug of steaming hot caff.
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murray-baumans · 2 years
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[Brett Gelman, cismale, he/him] who’s that? oh it’s [murray bauman]. i hear they’re [42] and are known as [the eccentric] around [hawkins]. they’re also a [self-employed investigative journalist] and [self-described genius]. they’re known to be [perceptive + animated] and [socially awkward + abrasive]. some people say they remind them of [crossing police tape, laughing in the face of danger, and ghost stories and ufo sightings]. [nikki, 25, she/her, n/a, central]
STATISTICS
FULL  NAME: murray john bauman GENDER/PRONOUNS: cis male; he/him AGE: forty-two FACECLAIM: brett gelman BIRTHDAY: january 22 STAR  SIGN: aquarius HOMETOWN: kohler, wisconsin HEIGHT:  6'1″ OCCUPATION: self-employed investigative journalist ORIENTATION: openly bisexual
HEADCANONS
* Murray grew up in Kohler, Wisconsin, a small town outside of Chicago. His dad left when he was three (and he was a piece of shit anyways, no love lost), so it was just Murray and his mom. Murray was always an unusual kid– could be the overbearing Midwest helicopter mom, could be the homeschool years, could be the ghost in his childhood home. Yes, Murray’s mom bought an incredibly old Victorian-style house with her alimony money, and it wasn’t long before Murray noticed something was … off. To this day, Murray swears that there was a ghost living with them.
* For thirteen years, Murray was the most sought-after journalist on the Chicago crime beat. He worked exclusively for the Chicago Sun-Times, and the very traits that made him a social pariah in high school made him a kickass investigative reporter. He was pushy, abrasive, unthreatening, and ultimately a nightmare to work with… but he broke the biggest stories. Though it’s been years, Murray still keeps all of his front-page stories (about forty total) pressed and framed in his living room (though they’re usually covered by tacked up notes/newspaper clippings/photos from whatever case he’s working on at the moment).
* Murray had always been the journalist who pursued every last tip, every far-fetched lead; and more often than not, it turned out to be true. So when a series of robberies and aggravated assaults began popping up in the Chicago area and witnesses reported hallucinations, Murray was all over it. His investigation led him to London, Hawkins, and Pittsburg as followed the life and crimes of Kali Prasad. But as soon as Murray began talking about a girl with psychic abilities, the paper wouldn’t allow him to publish. He continued pursuing the lead and eventually blew up on the Editor-in-Chief… which led to him being dragged away to a psych ward for six months and a court-mandated restraining order barring him from his wife and daughter. Disgraced and jaded, Murray has since decided to work for himself and himself only.
* Thanks to his very Catholic mother, Murray learned Latin at a young age. While he found it pointless at the time, it has since allowed him to easily pick up new languages. Murray is a polyglot: he speaks Russian, Spanish, Mandarin, and Arabic fluently.
* Murray is openly bisexual. While he still has a soft spot for his ex-wife, he has explored other romantic interests, including but not limited to the late, great Alexei Smirnoff.
PINTEREST | BIOGRAPHY | CONNECTIONS | PLAYLIST
(biography and connections forthcoming)
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opossumprince · 2 years
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speaking of transandrophobia and terfs.......with how trans men/afab nonbinary ppl are treated in the broader lgbt community it's honestly a testament to our patience more of us haven't gone full radfem lmfao
I've seen a few ppl hate themselves and detr^nsition out of sheer despair because of these issues, especially here in Fr^nce, in supposedly progressIve onIine circles where "tr^nsmascs have Joined the EnemyTM and must be excIuded from everything" rhetorics are rampant... and even when included, tr^nsmascs and af^b ppl are either judged too soft and weak and emotionaI for True RadicaI MiIitantism or too mascuIine and assertive, and therefore potentially aggressive and threatening (unsurprisingly, this also crosses over to tr^nsfem or am^b nb ppl who don't conform to norms or haven't undergone medicaI tr^nsition yet or don't want it, etc - however most whlte cIs femlnists in these circles are weIcome and assumed to be unthreatening allies to all causes without a second thought)
So it wouldn't be surprising to see r*df*ms use "see, even your own community won't accept you and agrees with us almost word for word when we say you're Bad CIass Defectors - they say you no longer experience things like mIsogyny and your ag^b has no incidence on how you're treated or whether you should have access to reproductIve rIghts, but we say otherwise and you've seen otherwise by yourseIf, so obviously that means we're right about all of the rest ! At least give us a chance ! :)" tactics... (edit : not to mention that constantIy professing a hatred of mascuIinity makes perfect breedlng grounds for r*df*m ideoIogy in the first place)
Let's not give them what they want tho lol. Behind the "we're here to help you :)))" approach they're so obsessed with making us detr^nsition that they privateIy suggest corrective **** and Iobotomy (seriously) and some openIy r*df*m artIsts specifically draw "detr^nsition p**n" as a fetIsh, which has um... scarred me mentaIIy yikes
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purlturtle · 2 years
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Fandom ask: 3, 5, 7, 9 for Leverage =)
3 and 9 I already answered! Here's the link to that.
5. The character who gives me the greatest gender envy
That is both a tough question and a fun one - I don't really *have* gender envy? So... I'm a cis, and you could probably say GNC, woman. Short hair for 95% of my life (including my childhood because my mother doesn't like long hair), pants instead of skirts and dresses 99.9% of my life, make up only when I played community theater in high school. But I never struggled with that, nor was I ever made to feel less of a woman for it (being lesbian probably helped, although no guy has ever made me feel less of a woman for it either - but then I don't interact with them in dating circumstances). And there never was a person on TV or in a movie where I was like "I want what they have". I'm happy with what I have! And it's rare to see someone like me on TV. Jett Reno, maybe? From Star Trek Discovery? So yeah, on Leverage? Not a single character. I think the character whose relation to gender comes closest to mine is Eliot. He doesn't care a lot about how he appears; he cleans up his presentation when the situation demands it, otherwise he doesn't lose many thoughts about it, and he's pretty secure in his masculinity. Wearing eyeliner or curling his hair at times doesn't impact that.
7. A character who feels like home
None of them, I think. I did think hard about it, and I find it hard to put my finger on exactly why. I'd feel unthreatened by all of them, but not exactly safe, simply because by virtue of who they are, they're not safe to be around. They live in danger, constantly, and even if they kept me out of it, I still wouldn't have been safe. As for being familiar with them - I need to identify with a character (or have a crush on them) to *really* dig into them enough to become familiar with them, and neither of them fits those two bills. None of them is a blorbo for me the way, say, Deanna Troi or Myka Bering or Jadzia Dax are.
Thanks for the ask! That was fun to think about!! Here is the original post, if anyone else wants a go!
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primogyna · 2 years
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it's so fucking ugly how some transfems think they can bootlick their way into cis-feminists' approval by throwing other tgirls under the bus who they don't think are feminine or unthreatening enough. like I'm sorry but the 'predator in a dress ' trope will still come to bite you in the ass even if you think you're hunter schafer.
and some trans girl being shitty/problematic doesn't make it ok either
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14sunnydaze · 26 days
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So I just got into a street fight with a cis man and I WHOOPED HIS ASS?!! I mean he punched me twice and my jaw still hurts but he's the one who ran away. It was nice to assert my dominance physically, no wonder they do it all the time. As a very fat, over 6 ft tall trans/nonbinary woman I am constantly minimizing my self and trying my damndest to seem unthreatening and non-aggressive and take up as little space as possible. This is the first fight I've had since moving to Denver. I think there's something vindicating about the fight being with an asshole who let his dogs run around unleashed on the street and not a transphobe lol. And being reminded, however it happened, that I Can fight my own battles physically if need be. It assures me that I can protect my loved ones if need be. And the adrenaline rush is no joke.
Am I crazy for wanting to start a trans self defense thingy even though I have no real formal training past the age of like 12??? Who else can help get this started.
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gxos · 2 months
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ive moved past experiencing emotionally distressing body dysphoria and more am just constantly lingering in the ever-present awareness that no one will take me seriously as a "man" unless i look like one. otherwise im just a girl lite or i look like the soft and unthreatening "smol uwu bean" type of trans men that cis people love to fetishize which isnt even what i want for my body anyways
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epicdogymoment · 2 years
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poasts that make you start tearing yourself to shreds
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thedreadvampy · 3 years
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ok just saw someone refer to Elias as "the stereotypical queer elite" and i
uh
maybe people are right about the genericisation of the word queer actually
#like I'm not getting aboard the Queer Is A Bad Words train don't worry#but queer has........implications of a certain relationship to power#not a positive one#like the ''''queer elite'''' might be a thing but only in that they hold power over other queer people#elias may be gay but he's not queer#idk something about this framing rubs me up very much the wrong way#there is power in being flamboyantly queer yes but it's not hegemonic power#it's a reclamatory power it's a refusal to be something other than what you want to be#idk i just think uhhhhh sometimes i think people are genuinely under the impression that flamboyant cis gay men have broad social privilege#FOR BEING flamboyant and gay#uhhhhh that really isn't true though i mean look at the people in power in the world. look at the GAY people in power.#anyway yeah it's mostly about the use of the word queer specifically to describe a Type Of Hegemonic Power#(the stereotypical queer elite)#when it's a political term with radical/revolutionary and class implications#but also I'm just Very Uncomfortable with the fact that a lot of younger people seem to have decided that it's a position of power#to be a flamboyantly queer cis gay man#like that that's the Primary Oppressor#and like do cis gay and bi men hold privilege for being cis and being men? sure#but not for being gay or bi and not for being gnc#they may be the acceptable face of the queer community to the straight world but that's because they're seen as an unthreatening oddity#like queer eye. rpdr. the gay best friends of tv and film. they're popular with straight people but they're uh. mascots?#they're not expected to be people in their own right they're catty and fun and not really given the respect that cis het people would get#and it's uh it's kind of fucked up to me that a lot of people in this community mistake#a) the power dynamics of the queer community for the power dynamics of the wider world#b) visibility for power
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sevens-evan · 4 years
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love how identifying as a queer girl for years gave me a crippling fear of being perceived as predatory, especially by girls, and how passing as a cis man now means that girls will automatically perceive me as predatory to protect themselves. really enjoying that combination tonight
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turing-tested · 3 years
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idk how to phrase this correctly but a lot of people are making a trend of like 'oh society is so nice to trans AFAB people they think we're all just soft boys who aren't threats' and it's like I get that there's a conversation to be had about transmisogyny and how its violence can happen but incredibly and high-key as someone who is trans and AFAB and fat and doesn't have completely white characteristics the idea that society looks at all of us the same as unthreatening and soft is far from correct and a large portion of cis men actively think of us as inhuman and cis women as sexual predators. we can have these conversations without being like 'cis people think of transmasc people as soft boys and we don't ever face problems like violence'
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