#cis ppl i do not understand you

[chaotictomtom]

cannot stop thinking abt what she said i'm loosing my mind i think ive lost the ability to have peace of mind ever this that """conversation""" 5h ago. like i keep realising shit and augh!!! auuuugh!!!!!wtf!!!

[canichangemyblogname]

Hot take? A show with queer people in it from the beginning was never queerbaiting and— very literally and technically— never could. In the first episode, a gay man comes out to his family. And he doesn’t stop being gay after that; it’s a major plot point and part of his character going forward. You’ve had a married lesbian couple from the jump who are proud and unapologetic about their love for each other. The story has also portrayed several queer couples and stories in episodic plots, including featuring queer weddings.

Buck didn’t suddenly “become” bi. Queerness is not when straight people “turn” queer. He has been attracted to men the entire time; he has always been bi. Understanding yourself and your sexuality as a queer person is often so difficult under heteronormativity. Sometimes, it takes time.

Hell— Buck checking a guy out some time in season 3 or getting flustered by the idea he might like a guy, etc, etc, are not even examples “queerbaiting,” nevermind how the show already features queer stories.

I genuinely think some of y’all are just mad that he’s not sucking face with the man you want him to, and are being weirdly homophobic about it. “Buck kissing this man is kinda off-putting, lmao.” “Buck and his bf’s relationship is awkward. IDK, but it weirds me out.” “There’s something so cringe about Buck’s relationship—” “Who dates someone they haven’t been friends with for years first? It’s kinda creepy…” “I think their relationship is a weird mess. It’s not as meaningful as a slow burn.”

Life isn’t fanfiction and fanfiction tropes don’t make good writing. Most relationships start out with a “hey, I’m interested in you, let’s get to know each other.” You’re just transparently uncomfortable with two men expressing that interest in each other outside the arbitrary rules you’ve established to make a mlm relationship “legitimate” or “meaningful.”

[Fanfiction] tropes— from “there’s only one bed” to “we’re forced together, but fall in love anyway”— are responses to the sex-negativity and purity culture norms forced upon gender and sexual minorities. They provide a workaround for these norms but never a direct challenge. It’s like the Family Guy episode “Prick Up Your Ears,” where conservative Christian abstinence-only sex education leads to kids having ear sex. Ear sex is the workaround to the abstinence and purity rules they’d been taught, not the challenge. We still have stringent rules around who can touch whom and under what circumstances. Tropes reflect this. So, a trope like “there’s only one bed” provides the characters with a justification for their intimacy without directly challenging why it is taboo.

You’ve convinced yourself that shipping— and thus the tropes it employs— is more subversive than actual representation, and the people caught in the crossfire are actual queer people.

Also— for the love of fuck— stop comparing every mlm relationship to RW&RB.

[messylesb]

my wish is to report every single man's acc when they follow me. i have a fucking MEN DNI on my profile and you STILL follow me, why???? GO TRIP ON A WIRE AND KNOCK YOUR HEAD ON A LIGHT POLE BUT GET OUT OF HERE

[thedreadvampy]

unwarranted Cis Opinion but I'm getting really uncomfortable w people responding to bathroom bills by posting pictures of trans men like DO YOU WANT THEM IN WOMEN'S BATHROOMS

bc like. no they're men. they should be in men's bathrooms unless that feels unsafe. but. it really feels like it's not helpful to lean into the idea that seeing someone presenting masc or being read as a man in a women's bathroom means You're In Danger.

like I know several butch women and NB ppl who are really scared around being on T or getting top surgery bc they're not men and they don't want to be in the men's bathroom, and in that circumstance stuff like growing facial hair or reading more androgynously can be really fucking scary when people are being primed by propaganda to be on edge and hyperreactive to anyone who doesn't look like their idea of a Cis Woman.

and I'm not laying that at the feet of the people saying "hey uhhhh trans men are men and don't belong in women's bathrooms" bc it is not their fault. it's the fault of a concerted effort to make it difficult and dangerous to be trans or substantively gender nonconforming in public.

but at the same time idk I guess it just worries me cause sometimes it feels like "you fools! you are worried about this group of trans people bc you think they're the Lurking Danger of Men In Bathrooms? WRONG! the Men Making You Feel Afraid In Bathrooms are actually THESE trans people!" when in fact neither of those groups using the fucking bathroom is a problem. just piss and mind your business. people need to go where they need to go.

anyway this country is a hot fucking trash fire that somehow accelerates its descent into open fascism more every day so it's all super good and normal. so don't take this too seriously tbh cause it's somewhere near #2535654476457899009765 on the list of priorities for Queer Discourse right now when the fucking human rights commission is actively rescinding protections from trans people. Please ignore my gibberish.

[perfectlyripeclementine]

there’s something so sacred about the relationship queer masc folks have to pleasure. i’m thinking folks on that spectrum between masc dyke/transmasc. in my experience because folks have such a nuanced relationship with their own bodies & varying levels of comfort with being touched, there is SO much emphasis on sharing pleasure, on mirroring the pleasure that they give.

it’s this incredible spin on the hetero thing of taking pleasure FROM someone, where pleasure is not a zero-sum game; their pleasure is the same as my pleasure, things that don’t feel good to me don’t feel good to them. it’s like when you put two mirrors in front of one another and they are refracted into infinity: turning me on turns you on, seeing you turned on turns me on, and it just escalates until we’re both shaking and satisfied and exhausted.

i see this so much in how ppl relate to their strap, or how they react when i’m riding and grinding on them - the times i’ve made someone come without touching them or even taken off their clothes, because seeing me and feeling my weight is enough to evoke the physical feeling of being inside me. i swear i saw God the first time i felt someone come inside me through the strap. these experiences have brought me so much closer to my own body and the pleasure i can not only experience but share. it’s so holy, and in the times when someone has wanted me to touch and pleasure them it felt so intimate and precious to be given that trust. no cis man could’ve helped me unlock this.

AND i see all of this mirrored too in the protector/carer dynamic - like i love the feeling of strong arms around me, love the emotion of someone wanting me to be theirs and wanting to keep me safe. and i love the squishy insides, love to be a source of sweetness and healing and regeneration, love to hold someone in my bare palms and be able to say this is for you, this care and pleasure i give you is yours to keep. i love how those things are seen and received rather than taken for granted the way that cis men do.

anyways when i hear people say femme/masc dynamics recreate straightness, or that thing of “well why don’t you just date a REAL man then?” i want to say that’s EXACTLY the point. queer masculinity gives me everything i cherish about men without the violence, the ownership that men are raised & trained for.

[all-inmoderation]

do people who keep drawing sokka as spirits know that he doesnt have any respect for the spirits in the show

[inkybinkyboink]

hi ok unpopular thought but you can tell when a cis/het person is playing a queer character because they always prioritize the queerness of their character over anything else

[perennial-bee]

"trans people are only trans because of oppressive gender roles and if we just got rid of the gender roles nobody would be trans" might sound like a hot take, a thoughtful and compassionate take, but unfortunately it is ice cold and does not understand how being trans works at all. meet and talk to and listen to more trans people - preferably in real life - before making assertions like this, especially if you yourself are not trans.

[psychiatricwarfare]

i think sometimes people forget that there's more than one way to be trans & that bigots Do Not Care what flavour of trans you are, they want us all dead so can we please stop arguing over things that literally dont matter and lift each other up instead of tearing each other down? im sick of this afab vs amab, tme vs tma, transmasc vs transfemme, the total erasure of transnonbinary & trans intersex individuals (or just nonbinary & intersex ppl in general). im so so so sick of all these new boxes we're trying to stuff each other in when elder trans ppl fought so hard against those boxes!!

for fucks sake, no one trans group has it any better or any worse than any other trans group, we just have it different, the transphobes want us ALL dead - whether its for different reasons or by different means, dead is dead. they dont care if youre tme afab transfemme or if youre tma axab transfemmasc or if youre a god damn clown fish. its all the same "agenda" to them.

im so fucking done seeing posts saying "trans women have No idea what its like to deal with....." or "TMEs fuck off! you're not welcome here!" or any of that shit because THAT is exactly how white supremacists get a foothold in. THAT is how we lose this battle. fucking THAT is how we get divided and conquered. they want us to split up into smaller groups and fight each other, they want us to be too weak to fight back and the way to do that is to wittle down our numbers & until they can get away with outright killing us in broad daylight (more than they already have) they have to make do with splitting us up and turning us against each other

im just sick and tired of all the infighting, you're either with ALL of us or you're with the white supremacists, idfc if you are trans yourself. we need all of us to work together and put our differences aside. it is not that fucking hard to sit yourself down and go "ok well they may not know what it's like to be me, but i dont know what its like to be them either" and realise that turning against other trans ppl just bc "they dont understand" is ridiculous and just a bad move when we're in the middle of a fight for our fucking lives. who cares who's "more oppressed" this isnt the god damn olympics, this is the fight for human rights and right now we need to focus on keeping all of us alive. save your petty irrelevant fucking discourse for when we aren't focused on trying to keep our community ALIVE

[samaspic31]

I respect their gender identity i just think they have shitty morals and complacent in being tools of imperialism-

[kisiselintihar]

actually adding onto my last post what is it with ppl and being so obsessed with this "gender reveal" thing. w tachigin stuff specifically. can a man not be attracted to other men without this big "reveal" abt genders and ohhh he's actually straight bcoz xyz factors dw!! and if you're genuinely so hellbent abt making tachigin as straight as possible why is gin CISGENDER still. where's their transfem swag. you will all die and go to hell and i will torture every single one of you for eternity

[carnival-core]

Yknow what I'm vaguing a post here instead of directly getting into discourse

Hey did you know fun fact you can go 'hey transmisogyny is a problem this site has and you all really need to examine it and make sure you're not contributing' without calling other trans people 'cis people who don't wanna call themselves cis' .

You can express grievances over the way language made by transfems for transfems gets stripped away from them without deciding to punch down on nonbinary people too did you know that wow cool fantastic whoda fucking guessed that one huh. Amazing god damn news

[aeide-thea]

still thinking abt the tumblrinx i encountered a while back whose pinned post said they were transmasc… and also demanded that men dni

like—i’m not confused by the convoluted not-like-the-other-boys doublethink that gets you there, i can follow the chain of illogic just fine, but i sure am deeply wearily depressed by it!

[twopercentboy]

can cis allies please learn that if someone is one, clearly with a parent, and two, not forth coming about their pronouns/correcting you, it is probably doing more harm than good to stop the conversation mid sentence to ask about their pronouns, especially when you're doing it bc of assumptions you made bc of the way they look

[prehistoric-rat]

in finland our biggest pride event canceled their partnership with our biggest political party because the party hadn't voted in agreement about our new trans law (to allow self-ID and remove requirement of being sterile (yeah really)) (the party had ruled it a “matter of conscience” and abt 1/3 voted against), and now our news are full of the members of that party being pissed abt it and our likely next prime minister commenting how this is “sad and offends many people”, and ppl are flocking to lament and mock how pride is so intolerable and how u have to have 100% correct opinions in order to participate and i'm

[snekdood]

anyways if you’re mad that i want a bigger dick and also my hole then die ig idk. if its so hard for you to be around different kinds of queer people maybe you should just like. do something about it... since like... different people are always going to exist... but if its just so hard for you to tolerate then maybe go hang out w jesus bud idk, seems easier than living in this oh so hard world with many different varieties of people.