#just say u want this shit to go bad for me right away like wtf

[chaotictomtom]

cannot stop thinking abt what she said i'm loosing my mind i think ive lost the ability to have peace of mind ever this that """conversation""" 5h ago. like i keep realising shit and augh!!! auuuugh!!!!!wtf!!!

[ableedingpromise]

God I'm so fucking annoyed how come she gets to treat me however she likes and then gets to say she didn't mean it?????

[cloudluvrrr]

"...I'm like your mother" Dan Heng x reader

minilial - asked: "Dan Heng with lazy reader so he would always act like a nagging mother and often scold reader"

--

why r the ones w black hair and emo the most put together cahracters dude (and the ones i want)

anyways HERE YOU GO POOKIE 💞

-- in the afternoon - the cardigans

-

you two were and unlikely pair, the most lazy and clumsy person (you) and dan heng the quiet rational one on the express.

-when he sees you lazing (wtf i s that a word) around he'll wack you with paper and drag you along with him to organize the archives (yay)

"this isn't fair" you huffed organizing the information he'd given you form penacony. "just do it, you have nothing better to do" he replied reading a book on the floor. "well your reading a book!" you mocked looking over at him "because I finished all my work, what have you done besides play game on your phone?" he said looking up at you. ".." with nothing to say you returned to your work, mocking him and grumbling under your breath.

-Even though neither of you have energy you two squabble a lot

-often about you doing nothing while he does all the work

-but he loves you beneath all that scolding and hitting

-he'll show it through buying you trinkets 😜or food (both r good)

-

you two were cuddling in YOUR bed (bc he sleeps on the floor like a weirdo) he read a book as you loosely followed along, before he remembered something. "hey did you clean the hallway like i asked" he asked looking over at you, soon realizing you forgot and looked away. "..yes" "don't lie to me, do i have to lock your phone away again. "WHAT NO" immediately getting up to do as your told.

"...I'm like your mother, telling you what to do" he said watching you get up. upon hearing this you stuck your tongue out and went to clean the hall.

-like i said before he often wacks you on the head, or tugs at your cheek/ear.

-when everyone else is gone though he'll kiss your cheek and rub it

'you dont listen to me, its for your own good'

'your not my mom your my boyfriend'

'.....'

-well more often than not he'll find you laying on the couch or sleeping, which he will drag you, and make you help him do something.

-that or he'll scold you for being on your phone too much

-and then you'll insult his phone case

-which ends up in him confiscating your phone and making you read

-but he loves you really, he can't really show it. But when your sleeping he will tuck you in and kiss your forehead. Or leave you credits to spend where ever the express is parked

-its when your awake where the problem begins

'i hate you' you grumble cleaning the windows alongside him

'you love me'

'....not right now'

--

this one is short and kinda bad but I HOPE YOU ENJOYED 😭

dude i got an email from my school

I WILL NO LONGER BE FREE 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔 im old as fuck

THANK YOU FOR 24 FOLLWOERS 😭😭🥳🥳

im glad you guys like my shit posting and bad fics 😍

(btw can u guys tell hwen i post from my computer vs my phone

-- COMMETN LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE I LOV YOU

[luvrrgirl444]

chapter 21: would u rather ft eren

IRL, INSTAGRAM!

“yo, wassup guys!” connie screamed into the camera. he was sitting in the passenger seat of jean’s car, as usual.

“today we’re back in the car-”

“-my car” jean interrupted.

you, connie and sasha all rolled your eyes.

“anyway, we’re back in jean’s car for would you rather part two, and we’ve got a not so special guest”

“you fucking cunt!” eren shouted from the backseat. he was sat behind connie, with his arm around you. you were sat in between him and sasha. connie mocked eren and flipped him off.

you rolled your eyes. “as this dumbass was saying, today we’re here with eren. aka photography guy. aka that one hot drummer. aka-.”

“bro can you thirst for him on twitter and not in the car.” connie said, gagging.

“not even thirsting, just being real.” you shrugged, making eren chuckle.

“someone spay this motherfucker.”

“shut the fuck up, we didn’t even mention what we’re eating today.” jean interrupted, once again. “sash?”

“today, we’re eating chick-fil-a! because eren’s never had it. allegedly.”

“allegedly?” he questioned.

“yes. anyway, we’ll see you when we get the goods.” sasha said, smiling.

🫧

“WE GOT THE FUCKING GOODS” sasha screamed. “now, we’re gonna get the questions and get this shit started.”

jean pulled out his phone and went into instagram to find the questions.

“alright. would you rather be hot and stupid or ugly and intelligent?”

“hot and stupid” connie responded. “i already am.” he smiled.

“delusional ass” jean replied.

“y’all, please stop gassing connie’s ugly ass up.” you said.

“y’all not funny.” he rolled his eyes.

“ugly and intelligent is obviously the right choice.”eren said.

“definitely.”

“DICKRIDER” connie shouted.

“bitch shut up. as i was saying, those scientist paychecks are heavy. if i’m getting paid millions, i wouldn’t give a fuck about how i looked.” you agreed.

“bitch think she mariah the scientist.”

you rolled your eyes and pulled connie’s ear. “you want me to beat your ass so bad.”

“hot and stupid. i could literally get a modeling job and i’d be rich too.” sasha argued, before taking a sip of her milkshake.

“okay, thats valid.” jean said. “nobody wants to be fucking stupid tho.”

“id rather be stupid than ugly.” connie piped in.

“you’re already both tho?” you said, making everyone giggle, except for connie.

“imma need you to choke on that chicken.”

“moving on.”

“would you rather be bald or have no teeth.” jean read out. “bald. no hesitation.”

“definitely bald, i could literally just wear wigs and nobody would know. those human hair wigs go crazy.” you said.

“being bald is crazy. i’m having no teeth and getting dentures.”

“connie, you’re literally one shave away from being bald” sasha told him. “i’m going bald too, i need my teeth.”

“my hair is my best feature. i’m getting dentures with connie.” eren said.

“my motherfucking man!” connie shouted and dapped eren up.

“you two are fucking insane.” jean grimaced.

🫧

you guys did about 5 more would you rathers before ending the video.

“thats all for today guys, hope you enjoyed us screaming like children! see you in the next video!”

the recording ended there. a black screen then followed, with the question “would you rather choke and die or subscribe to bigcheese4000?” on it.

liked by lifearlert, mikasackerman & 456,777 others

👤 jaegerbomb

bigcheese4000 new video ft eren out now run it up 🔥🔥🔥🔥

comments

jaegerbomb CONNIE WTF IS THIS

⤷ user220 the way he instantly knew it was connie ECVEEVHWHW

jaegerbomb ugly picture n i still look better than you @conman69

⤷ conman69 WOAH???????

⤷ planetyn CLOCK HIS TEA BAE

⤷ bigcheeseluvr4 STOP I LOVE THEM

sashluvsfood chick fil a 🤤

⤷ horseface fatass

user111 eren’s arm around y/n??? IM SCREAMING

user2020 i need jean

⤷ jeansbbygirl333 so bad

hotgirlsloveyn WE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE

planetyn the tattoos im screaming

⤷ user20 “someone spay this mf”

user500 new bigcheese video with EREN???? ABOUT DAMN TIME

view 43.2k others..

🫧

- the way i’ve been neglecting my og series omg..

taglist <3 : @greeniegreengreen @bakuhoes-bxtch @itzgabz22 @princess-jaeger @marsandsaturn @violenthots @roses-arerosies @conniesbbymama @llovergirlll @iheartamajiki @clipperlighter @liliorsstuff-blog @hoohoohope @akvrae @rinslutz @miniaturelunar @sheluvzeren @shigamiryuk @chamomilespetal @booistoleyou @asp7n @heartz444anna @thatartistshar0n @vintagexparker @tsukkisukkii @venusinx @seeingivy @cyberkitty1 @anitatvd @blamemef0rit @crvzy-fujoshi

[cocogum]

My honest reactions of episodes 5 and 6 (part 1)

PART 2 : HERE

(‼️SEASON 4 SPOILERS‼️)

.

.

.

.

.

.

We obviously start with the ✨sadidas✨ Armand and Amalia (as we should 💕) coming back from the assembly meeting with the Eliatrope goddess.

Okay so were starting off pretty strong lol

I LOVE how Armand thinks about the Eliatrope goddess cuz yeah we were pretty much thinking the same thing (about how she’ll pretty much stalk them and will put her children in their world) and I just absolutely LOVE how he’s keeping his guard because of her and has become even more doubtful of Yugo. (Just look at his eyes as he stares at Amalia!!)

Because yeah, even though he wasn’t as wary of Yugo before, some hints were still shown in the OVAs when he called him “a king without his people is unheard of” but Yugo shrugged his comment off.

BUT NOW WE GET TO SEE MORE OF ARMAND SLANDERING YUGO and basically exposing Amalia acting “not rational” when she talks about Yugo.

Armand, my man, your sister’s clearly in love with Yugo OF COURSE SHE WOULDN’T BE RATIONAL WITH HIM (you should’ve seen how she kissed Oropo tho you would’ve lost your shit lo)

BUT DAMN ARMAND CHILL WTF ARE U RACIST AGAINST ELIATROPES NOW???!!? Same ngl 🥰🥰 I want more drama 💖💖

I just ADORE Az and his family playing on their tree Tofu tower they look so adorable ☺️✨💖 I already made a headcanon that Yugo and Alibert built it (while Chibi and Grougal just watched).

OMG EVERYONE STFU MY SONS ARE HERE ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😍😍😍😍😍🥰😍😍🥰😍😍🥰🥰 ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I’VE SEEN U TWO 😭😭😭💖💖

Look at these two not doing anything and just being lazy bums 😭😭🥰💕💕

Also I need a gif of Yugo and Alibert hugging with Az and his kids in the background asap ✨

But all cuteness aside, in all my years of being a Wakfu fan, I literally never saw Yugo make that face before. Like it was so uncalled for that my heart literally dropped when I saw him like that. I never thought that the face of terror and shock (combined with the booming sound in the background) could go so well on him and now I wanna see it more!! I HOPE YOU TORTURE HIM ANKAMA!!

Btw the Eliatrope goddess is such a fraud and can’t think for herself even though she said she wants to rule a freaking planet but okay (u fucked up the first time by default when ur kids had one planet for themselves but ur already messing up ur second time cuz ur running away from ur problems when U AND NORA WERE THE REASON WHY THE NECROMES GOT OUT ARE U KIDDING ME- YOU DIDN’T CHECK?!!!???!)

Armand’s really trying hard not to say something racist right now.

Dude can’t even look him in the eyes while saying hi lol

Also can we talk about what Armand told Yugo??? :

Like………

IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE SOME KIND OF FORESHADOWING ?!?!? I DONT GET IT AND IM SCARED NOW ⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️

ANKAMA STOP PLAYING WITH ME, DON’T TOUCH MY AMALIA ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

No because im legitimately scared that something bad will happen to her, why else would Armand say these kinds of things to YUGO of all people????

I swear I will actually cry if this ended up being foreshadowing cuz honestly wtf…why did Amalia ever do to you people….My fear for Amalia was already there even before Season 4 so why do you gotta make my paranoia resurface like that??? Why do u gotta do me like that???? 😭😭😭

This is the guy who started a genocide against his own people and has more common sense than the GODDESS right in front of him. I get that she’s traumatized cuz of what happened to her but you gotta realize that they’ll always run after you if you just keep running, so the least you can do is throw your kids to fight for you. I just love how the only reason why Qilby is saying any of this is because for once, he’s not the one in control of the fate of the world and can’t redirect the signal or stop it himself lol

[pumpkinsy0]

Can u do hcs of Steve and soda being purlys #1 opp (whether u ship stevepop or not )

of course!!!<33

•steve couldnt give less of a fuck WHAT curly and pony r doin he truly does not care, its soda whos dragging him along

•well thats what he WANTS u to think, he does care actually, not as much as soda but enough to be like “wtf is pony doing w curly”

•most of the time when one of em is flirting w the other, soda usually kinda looks over his shoulder and steve KNOWS hes looking at curly bc sodas eyes twitch a lil when hes mad

•when curly does something to rile soda up, steve isnt even upset hes just absolutely ASTONISHED at the it, like either curly has the balls or hes just really stupid and steve thinks its a mix of both (it is)

•sometimes steve and soda would be on a date but they see pony and curly off in the distance and they DONT want to just abandon their date so they r like, trying to focus on their date but they cant help but look over to see what pony and curly are doing

its just like “yea so then me and her-👀,,,yea,, so anyways we hung out”

•when theyre all at a party, steve and soda like to stay close to pony to make sure ponys ok and when curky comes over w like a drink or food or to just whisk pony away, they do NOT budge and pony just has to sneak off to curly while soda and steve r playing card games

•once, soda was looking into his and ponys shared dresser and noticed a shirt that was in there was a shirt curly was wearing literally a few days ago

•he aint even get mad or nothin, he took that shirt and steve and him used it as a sweat and oil rag for that day at the dx (which happened to be the busiest weekday)

•pony noticed but he couldnt say anything bc he wasnt rlly open about his relationship w curly so he would just glance at it frequently, and soda KNEW he was looking at it, he did feel a tad bit bad after that one

•steve was a lil dick and was askin if he was alright bc he was staring at something, what an ass

•when pony comes hime from hanging out w curly, soda cannot STAND the smell of curly at all, not bc he stinks rlly but bc it smells of curly undeniably, and hes just asking pony to take a shower 😭

•steve thinks soda being passionate about anything makes him pretty, so yes, he also finds soda ranting about how much he doesnt like pony near curly being attractive, he just choses to ignore the topic

•sometimes when curly wants to buy pony something (BUY not STEAL hes not completely broke all the time) soda and steve but in like “noooo ILL buy it for him” and curlys going “nono trust me mf I got this” and ponys zoning out just thinking “im getting double the snacks”

•when soda and steve accompany them at the drive in, they sit behind them so when curly tries that ‘yawning to put my hand around u, shit they just slap his arm midair and u just hear a loud ass SMACK and curly trying not to yelp😭

•its fine tho cause curly just puts his hand on ponys thigh and theres essentially nothing soda and steve can do but sit there seething

•steve and soda work at the dx im sure that when they see curlys rust bucket of a car, theyre going “r u SURE u wanna drive in that pony” absolutely dragging that car to hell and back just dissecting all the problems it has while curlys RIGHT there and they steve ends it off w “but hey man fuck it its ur life ig”

[bizarrelittlemew]

okay. i just watched the movie Snakeskin (2001). i bought a physical dvd in the year of our lord 2024 because Taika has 6.5 minutes of screentime in it. and now i'm sitting here trying to process wtf i just watched asjdhfdjsk so here are the highlights (thank you Meow @blakbonnet for going through this experience with me)

first of all, enjoy these screenshots from the trailer (i'm still not sure if they're mandatory disclaimers?):

...but say yes to snake imagery, because there will be a lot of it

we are definitely in 2001. this is extremely apparent throughout the whole movie. but especially from this girl's hair

Taika's character (Nelson) and his girlfriend (Daisy, pictured above) drive around in a repurposed ice cream truck and sell drugs btw. it's called Mr. Trippy.

main character Alice (Melanie Lynskey) is a huge fan of ✨America✨. her best friend is in love with her but she only wants Bad Boys. also said friend's name is Johnny but it's actually Craig

ALSO Craig-slash-Johnny is played by Dean O'Gorman (Fili)??!?!?!?

their hobby is to drive around picking up hitchhikers but only those who look not boring

enter The American. this guy is the most American you have ever seen. americans wish they could be as American as this guy. no one else has ever Americaned harder.

as you can see, i'm not lying. he even says "howdy ma'am" so we're convinced he is a real American

three skinheads are after The American because he stole their drugs (i think). he also stole drugs from Nelson and Daisy, who now owe money and/or drugs to their boss, who also has beef with The American for reasons i'm still not totally sure of

The American not only steals drugs and money, he also has a real gun(!!!) and fucks pretty much everyone?

"darlin'. u gotta earn the raaaiht. ter wear snakeskins 😎"

oh my god the sunglasses emoji just reminded me of the fucking sunglasses oh no i'm not sure i can do this akjsdhjsk this will make sense later i promise

do not learn gun safety from this movie

at one point, there is a whole lotta sheep. we are, after all, in Aotearoa New Zealand. and ok this had the cutest moment of Taika yelling "SHEEPY" out of a car

there's a scene where uhm. uhhh no not gonna describe this i think but. yeah fair warning this movie has some period-typical homophobia let's just say 💀 this is the live reaction:

MOVING ON

if you enjoy the 2000s aesthetic of "look how edgy we are doing drugs" *colorful-haired people on couches in dark club* *echo-y laugh* *hallucinations* *it's mushrooms look it's mushrooms we're doing psychedelics* then this is the movie for you my friend

oh and Alice also did acid at some point while being very "i've totally done drugs before" about it (((doubt)))

GIRL GET UP FROM THAT DIRTY BATHROOM FLOOR

[New Zealand accent] "wow. six and acid." yes she is living all her american dreams as you can see

by nighttime, all three cars (main characters, mr. trippy, and the nazimobile) and the motorcycle (mr. drug boss) have made it pretty far up the mountain, it seems. cute moment between mr. drug boss and nelson. look how :D he is!

but you know a movie with Taika in it needs to have a father figure talk down to him so he gets very 🥺 right after this

lots of shit goes down (i won't spoil too much if by any chance you still want to watch this) and it turns out that the older skinhead guy is the best actor in the movie??

and NOW things get weird

Craig and The American have so much beef by now that they decide to solve it by russian roulette

Alice's reaction to this is something like "ugh, you guys are crazy, i can't watch this 🙄"

like she just walks away?? GIRL THEY'RE AIMING A REAL GUN AT EACH OTHER

she keeps COMPLETELY UNDERREACTING TO WHAT IS HAPPENING like (spoilers from now on) CRAIG IS SHOT AND KILLED and she doesn't even run over and she doesn't even say anything to The American?? WHO SHOT HIM???? he's just standing there??

and then. AND THEN.

ok this is where i fully lost it for several minutes and missed half the following scene. i was fucking HOWLING like actually crying with laughter, i couldn't see or breathe and my partner got worried ksjdhfdjsk ok so here's what happens

they're in the car. craig is obviously very dead. alice is kinda in denial i guess. The American tells her to shut his eyes and she's like why? BECAUSE HE DEAD GIRL!! but she doesn't, she doesn't shut his eyes, no, this is what she does instead

I COULD BARELY MAKE THIS GIF BECAUSE I KEPT LAUGHING TO THE POINT OF TEARS

NOT THE SUNGLASSES ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. THE UNTAPPED MEME POTENTIAL HERE IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS

ANYWAY shortly after this we hear one of the funniest lines in the movie (and it's not even about the shooting and killing of Craig):

"fuck, Seth! this isn't fucking America, you can't just go around shooting everybody!"

oh yeah The American does have a name and it's Seth

i'll just post a few chat screenshots for the next part because i can't really describe it, i promise we're almost at the end

after some incredible visual effects™️, we end with Return of the Sunglasses (and me scaring my cats away because i was sobbing again)

i haven't even really talked about Taika's scenes much (the reason i watched this in the first place) because the ending took me OUT and honestly he is maybe the most normal person in this whole movie. one review (from the trailer) wrote this:

and yeah that may honestly be the best way to describe it. 10/10 movie watching experience, highly recommend. thank you for coming to my snek talk

[cairavende]

Worm Arc 11 Interludes thoughts:

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Ok. Just in order I think. Sorry for the chaos.

Started off with puppies. I was happy.

Then the puppies started getting a little more violent than needed. I was less happy.

Then Victoria got clowned on a little and I was little bit more happy.

Then the unkillable naked zebra lady showed up everything kinda went downhill. For everyone.

Bitch do not join the supervillain serial killer group, please and thank you.

Seriously though, The Siberian is a bit scary. Just, completely invincible as far as anyone can tell. And super strong.

Theo is having a bad day. And unless someone takes care of Jack Slash for him he's gonna have a bad few years.

Jack Slash is such a poser oh my god. Dude. Come one. You aren't all that.

Also. Jack. Do not toss a loaded baby! That baby had a full diaper. You toss that baby and you are liable to have a containment breach. Speaking from experience, you do not want a containment breach. (Also just don't throw babies of course.)

I hope Theo gets cool powers and is able to become a super amazing hero like he dreams of. On the plus side, probably gonna be lots of opportunities for trigger events coming up. On the minus side, he didn't trigger when Jack Slash was planning on killing him so I don't know if he's gonna be able to.

They were obviously going to go for Labyrinth. She has such amazing powers for mass terror. Though I guess Burnscar never tried to actually recruit her. I assume that was the plan though.

Also Burnscar needs to stop excusing her actions. Just be evil or don't be evil. You don't get to be evil and say it's not your fault (that sure will come up again in these interludes).

I fucking LOVED the description of how Labyrinths powers work. Just the details of everything. So good!

Fucking Colin. Of course they had to go for you. Why can't you just go away and leave my robot daughter alone?

Mannequin is fucking WILD. Like, god damn. Those are sure choices you made. Helps you be creepy as shit though. And get through air vents.

Mannequin writing out "U ME" to Pocketknife Man by laying keyboard keys down on the table one at a time has cursed meet-cute energy.

In the end, Colin survives cause my robot daughter saves him. And I guess she's gonna tell him the truth about being an AI. Fiiiiiiine. I will be polite to Colin if he comes over to dinner. He still needs to apologize to my other daughter though.

Also I'm sure glad the Slaughterhouse Nine won't have any use for the magic pocketknife that can cut through anything that Mannequin took. No worries at all I'm sure. It won't do jack shit for them. Might as well just slash the idea and toss the knife out.

Cool. Some Nazis died. That's great!

Not enough though. Disappointed in Shatterbird.

But if one good thing can come of this whole Slaughterhouse Nine thing, maybe Hookwolf can die. I'm not holding my breath though.

Shatterbird has a very interesting power set. Being specifically glass focused like that. Definitely can see how she would terrorize a city.

Dinah PoV. DINAH POV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok well first off, I obviously hated Coil for Dinah already. Enough that I don't really know if the Dinah PoV can technically make me hate him more. But that said, I hate him more. WTF.

The description of her power was so NEAT though! Had a minor moment of "oh hey this paragraph of this precog talking about her power works inside her head is an almost perfect description of how my brain works" which was wild. I don't actually get to see the future though, which is a major difference.

She can actually just full blow see a possible future holy shit! Wow. Like it hurts and she hates it but it's still crazy.

Also I guessed that Crawler was going to come for Traveler in a Vault (that is Noelle's cape name until I am told different) after the Bitch interlude. I was very happy I got that right since I really knew almost nothing about either.

So Crawler just basically can't die and gets stronger every time he gets hurt. I wonder how long it will take him to reach Endbringer level power?

And Traveler in a Vault is just a large monster that is always hungry and can be driven to the point of eating people. That sucks a lot for her.

Also Leviathan came after her too huh? Well that's probably fine and won't matter in the future.

Regent's sister is worse than he is. That's impressive! Like, not good impressive. But impressive.

Getting real close to the "can't exist" physic power set. I guess it's not quite it though.

She should keep a better eye on her phone battery.

AMY DALLON! I knew it would be you.

I knew you were destined to be a tragedy from the moment I met you. You were always going to become a villain. So once I knew the Nine were recruiting it was a guarantee that you'd be recruited.

Specifically, that you'd be recruited by Bonesaw. She is an artist and obviously she is obsessed over the art you could make together.

Holy shit though that chapter.

Lets see. FUCK CAROL. Victoria gets some excuses, she's a kid, she's following her mom's example, etc. But FUCK CAROL. You are partially responsible for what Amy is about to become.

Despite being terrified, Amy seemed to have a dark fascination with everything Bonesaw was doing and saying. Really listened as Bonesaw explained things.

The more detailed view of what Amy's power does is crazy. She really can do just about anything to someone.

“Why not fix your dad?” is where Bonesaw won. It's about 3/5 of the way through the chapter. And she won at that point. That was the killing blow. The rest of the chapter, the remaining 3.5k or so words, is watching Amy bleed out to drive the point home. It is Panacea's death monologue. It is beautiful and tragic and amazing.

All that said, since she is losing anyway, is it bad for me to want more of Bonesaw's notes? SHE HAS LORE! GIVE IT TO ME!

Dad at least seems pretty good. He made the perfect response after getting healed. Unfortunately she was already gone.

AND THERE IT IS. THERE IS THE THAT FINAL STEP. Fucking rewire your adopted sisters mind to have romantic feelings for you. No you don't get to say it was an accident! You chose to do it. Holy shit Amy. You are going to be an amazing (terrifying) villain.

Callback to Burnscar and blaming her power for her actions.

If Worm was a Disney movie Amy would end up with the best song, 100%. Hellfire or similar levels.

[teagballs]

michael bluth x reader where reader also works in business and has a bad day or something and since michael is at work (they work in diff places) he goes drinking with gob once he is done. michael taking care of a drunk reader lol. i love ur writing

take them home | michael bluth x !drunk reader

authors note: did u miss me hiiiii definitely hasn't been three months or anything. SORRY YALL im in the middle of exams rn im struggling so hard 💔 motivation to write came back when i should be studying tho ??? wtf ???? idek. anyway heres some sweet michael for the SOUL he'd be the best bf ever!!!!!

cw: drunk reader, drinking too much, vomiting. other than that just fluff!! enjoy

----------------------------♡----------------------------

You swear you could have cried when the clock finally struck six. Today was terrible, putting it simply. From an early start to annoying co-workers to an abundance of paperwork, it seemed you couldn't catch a break. To make matters worse, you knew Michael wouldn't be home till late. The responsibility he had in his position left him working after hours. You needed to release some of your built-up stress, you needed a drink. But who would you go to? Who would be without responsibilities or cares and would be willing to get wasted with you?

"Hey Gob, do you wanna get a drink?"

He was more than happy to hit the bar with you and also a terrible influence. Drinks seemed to tally up within minutes when it had actually been hours and hours. He definitely could handle his drink better than you. Because while he was still able to form a coherent message, you were a blubbering mess.

"Another!" You slur out.

Gob discourages you finally, "Don't you have work tomorrow?"

"Who cares! All- all those pieces of shit can go- can- can go fuck... themselves" you stutter.

Gob wasn't having fun anymore. Now he was just taking care of a drunk person - he didn't want that weighing him down. So he called Michael to come pick you up.

Michael was not pleased to hear that after his 12 hours in the office, he had to pick up his absolutely shit faced partner up from his brother.

"You let them get that drunk, Gob? What's wrong with you?" Michael barked as you rest against his shoulder.

You lean against his form, looking up at his tousled locks. He definitely had them in his stressed grip a couple of times today. You play with the bottom of his tie as he speaks. Gob shrugs his lecturing off and leaves the pair of you.

With some difficulty, Michael gets you into the stair car and drives you to your apartment. He guides you up to your place and gently guides you to the sofa. He makes quick work of getting you a glass of water.

"Here, drink this," he hands you a glass. It's a chipped and old looking glass, just in case. You ignore the glass and instead try to get him to sit down with you.

"Michael, you looked tired, come lay down with me," you dragged, giving him the best puppy dog eyes you could. You were spread across the sofa ungracefully, limbs anywhere they would be comfortable.

"You need to go to bed," he tells you gently. You whine out like a toddler.

"Come on! I wanna stay up with you!" you say before shifting up into a sitting position and giggling.

"You have work tomorrow," he sighs at you. He, too, has work tomorrow and would love to stay up with you, but can't.

"So? I hate that job! Who cares if I'm off cause of a-" you cut yourself off by covering your mouth and dry heaving, "a hangover-" you bolt up right and stumble to your bathroom, stabilising yourself on the walls. Michael follows closely behind.

He runs hand up and down your back and holds your hair as you throw up. The vomiting must have sobered you up a little because you suddenly feel the not so fun effects of alcohol. You rub your face, feeling hot a clammy. Michael looks at you with only concern as he hunches on the floor with you. He cups your face, and you lean your face away.

"Don't..." you grumble. "I'm gross and drunk."

Michael smiles as he smoothes over your cheek, "That may be true, but I still love you," he chuckles. You're unsure how he's even facing you with how bad your breath probably is.

"I'm tired," you sigh deeply and sniffle a little.

"I'm sure you are." Michael agrees, doing that knee slap thing as he makes his way to his feet again. "C'mon," he holds out his hand for you to take. Supporting one hand on your bath, you use the other to take his.

He guides you to your bed where you flump down. With effort, he takes your shoes off, and you turn over and wrap the duvet tight around your frame.

"Alright, sweetheart, I'm off. I'll see you tomorrow," Michael murmurs and watches your exhausted form.

"No!" you exclaim. "No, don't go!" Suddenly frantic, you unwrap yourself from your duvet cocoon.

"What do you want me to do?" He forms a lips pressed together smirk, he finds your pure distraught at the idea of him going home and getting a good night's rest awful amusing.

"Stay here! Stay in my bed!" you beg your boyfriend. In the morning, you'll remember how drunk and pathetic you were last night and grimace.

"But I have work in the morning. I'll need to go home and get ready." He toys. He already knows he'll be staying the night. He'll just have to get up early and grab his stuff for the office. Or maybe he'll take the day off, he deserves it after all.

"No, please!" You whine out again and tug on his hand. He laughs heartily and drops onto the bed, making sure to squash none of your limps.

Finally satisfied, you wrap your legs around him. You're both still in your work clothes, but who cares? You're cosy.

Tucking your head into his neck, you slur out a, "love you,"

"Love you too," he smiles, exposing his little tooth gap.

----------------------------♡----------------------------

[cherry1sblog]

{my collage roommate pt3}

!!YJW!!

Summary:u entered collage everything was going amazing u had your bs with u but there was one problem ur collage roommate... (also there is a plot twist about heeseung and jungwon there not as close as u think)

Warnings: cussing bad grammar 💀 smut‼️‼️‼️‼️

Don’t read if u don’t like smuts 💀 and yuh I think that’s it

Recap:

“What are you doing “

“Dw about it you couldn’t give a fuck less right”

Jungwon held u back locked the door and pinned you to the wall

“What makes u think your going over there princess “

U just looked at him in shock mouth opening to say saying yet nothing came out u got shivers down your spine when u felt his hands go down more to your waist

“What’s wrong your not as potty anymore”

He looked at you and then got close to your ear you could hear him breath against you you felt him nibble on your ear a little before he faced you again

“You should sleep it’s getting late princess “

He just left you there stunned completely stunned and you did what he told you but you just couldn’t sleep not after that so did u get any sleep like how he told you no not at all not one but if sleep

//TIME SKIP TO 2 WEEKS LATER \\

After that party and your interaction with heeseung and jungwon it was awkward kinda but with jungwon he was more flirty now and so when another party came up you knew you had to find the sexy ist dress ever

{at the party}

Jungwon had been eyeing you up and down all night while on the other hand heeseung had been avoiding you all night u were a bit upset at the fact u and heeseung couldn’t be normal anymore so u trired to go up to him that’s until someone tapped u and u saw three girls staring one wearing they exact same black short bidazeld dress

“Hey u must be y/n right “u don’t recognize her at all so u just look up and down and nod “that’s wonderful to know your the ugly-”and right then and there she takes her cup and pores it all over you and now everyone is looking “bitch Jungwons been sleeping with””WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM “u scream seeing jungwon rush thru the crowed looking at u with eyes of sadness and worry but turned to Yuji and got pissed off

“Idk WTF is your problem but even if I am fucking jungwon so what “ everyone’s gasps going around now phones out recording Jungwons just smirking but you find heeseung looking unamused and leaving “ha I knew you were a slut” then jungwon starts to step up to help you “yk what Yuji I think your just posted at the fact jungwon caught you sleeping with his best friend and now he’s fucking me someone’s who’s not actually a fucking whore bag “ she picks her arm up to slap you jungwon stoping her and throwing her hand away while making her stumble a back “ofc the hero comes in to save the day but not what’s in his pants right cause he can never keep it up right “ he gets visibly angry pushing her back “ you know what Yuji say stupid shit like but just cause you didn’t want people to know your a cheating whore who got stds and just likes to use guys for a quick fuck I mean cmon now we both know I’m the best dick you’ve ever had and the girls I did sleep with they all know I left them fucked dumb after “

She looked completely stunned everyone whispering calling her gross a whore a liar a skank a thot a slut but as for jungwon he grabed you and drove you guys both home the entire way you guys said nothing but when u guys did get home he told you to shower and then we could watch a movie as he grabed your alcohol covered hair and kissed your forehead softly

//AFTER //

after your shower so you stepped out but without thinking you got dressed up wearing a see thru tank top and botty shorts you went out to the living room seeing jungwon he was focused on the tv then tired his head slowly “hey y/-“ his eyes were wide looking at you skating every pice of you immediately getting a hard on and it didnt help the fact the your nipples were also hard cause you it was cold “u-um w-w-what movie do you want to watch” he said awkwardly smiling “

After awhile you ended up choosing a horro movie and everyone u would jump letting jungwon see your boobs bounce and close together was not making it easy at all but he finally had had enough so he paused the tv looking at you “what the fuck won why’d you pau-“ he grabbed your hair in a bunch pulling it a little but not to much where it would hurt “you think I wouldn’t notice you wearing something so slutty huh would you u probably wanted me to look and you and you boobs right you slut “he said and started to lower the strap on you tank top letting go of your hair”ju-jungwon idk what your talking ab-“he stuffed your hole boob in his mouth sucking and nibbleing hitting and starting to leave hickys.”tell me you don’t want this and I’ll stop tell me you don’t want me to fuck you sensless and fill your little pussy huh”you didn’t say anything but squirming and moaning under his touch “that’s what I thought now why don’t we see your pretty little cunt “he took off your shorts and liked a thin strip on your underwear making you moan and grab his hair “Wonnie please””please what baby mm I barley did anything yet” you didn’t say anything just wined “I need to know what you want baby or I can’t give it to you okay” you just stared at him but gave in cause how could you not “p-please won need you need you to fuck me “ he removed your panties looking at your dripping cunt making you embarrassed closing your legs while looking away “ah ah ah keep them open princess don’t ever feel like you need to hide this pretty Pussy from me “ he opend your legs about to go down on you but you couldn’t wait you didn’t know why you were so impatient “no w-wait”. “What is if baby” “I DONT wanna be probed please just fuck me please jungwon I need you so bad please wonnie “ he took his grey sweats off and his white t Lilly out his dick and he wasn’t wrong but Yuji was he had the prettiest dick ever he was thick and long and pretty so pretty you needed it so bad “what my princess wants she gets “he took his dick out lining up his tip pushing in little by little he stretched you out so you definitely needed some time but your wetness was making it super easy for the both of you “baby I’m gonna move now okay tell me if it hurts “he started thrusting in you feeling so good “ah jungwon omg so good please faster “he cupped your tits in his handing pumping in and out of you playing with your nipples and ther going to you big leaving hickys on you you were on cloud 9 “ugh baby your pussy feels so g-good this pussy is mine only mine “y-yes omg don’t stop please “ he was going harder making you a moaning mess atp you didn’t care if the neighbors heard you cause this was they best fuck of your life ever “no one’s g-gonna fuck this tight little pussy like I can huh” “all mine no one else is “ you could tell he was close and so were you you were so close if all felt to good “o-omg wonnie i CANT hold it f-Fels to good I-I’m gonna cum “ he kissed you sticking your forwards together intertwining fingers “it’s okay baby cum for me and with that you came undon leaving u speechless you swear you saw white feeling your cum gushing out of you but jungwon still hadn’t came leaving you starting to get a bit senator but you could tell he was so close to “ah y/n I’m so close where do you want me to come “ “please cum in me please “ you were getting close to your second orgasam hearing jungwon moan was sending you “ah ah I’m gonn- and with that you and him both came you for you second time and leaving you both outta breath panting and sweating he pulled out and sat next to you giggling a little “what’s so funny “you said outta breath “ nothing just that we have to go clean up now “”ughhhh I don’t wanna can we js go cuddle “ “it’s okay I’ll clean up my baby “ “ I love you jungwon “ “ me too y/n I love you so much “

//after shower//

You and jungwon just spent the rest of the night cuddling while you fell asleep on his chest as he drew shapes on your skin ……………….

**************

LET ME KNOW IF YOU GUYS WANT A PART FOR FINAL FOR THIS OR IF YOU GUYS WANNA END IT LIKE THIS SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG BUT ITS EXAMS I HOPE EVERYONE LIKES THIS TYYY

[borathae]

Chapter 36

idk feeling soo content cuz last chapter ended fluffy and she is cleaning the library (i lobe her and she is my wifey) and the warning is slightly scary haha 😃👀

“Again, it kind of is”, he answers you HE IS SUCH A LIL SHIT SCARING HER FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES

“I’d love to see you try. Your uppercut is weak.” VIOLENCE

WAIT HIS SWEATER??? RAAAAAAH HE SAID SHE LOOKS GOOD IN IT AND CAN TAKE IT *jumps out the window

he really said you want it? here take it (irl tae's power lol)

“what’s gotten into you?” fr did he drink some love potion or something lol

I’m entirely yours for the rest of the evening SOMEBODY ARREST THIS MAN HE JUST KILLED ME

He seems….sad, OH NO UM CLEAN THE CEILING

YOU CANT FLY man that sucks

He looked for a book about plants for her? OMG HE READ FOR HER He wanted to be prepared so he could sound intelligent and professional and maybe also impress you or whatever. UWUW AAH “Just some books”, he says, scratching the side of his neck. shy baby What did he look up? um smut SORRY I HAD TO

their banter aaah i love it so cute NO WE DONT HATE U WHO SAID THAT

Yoongi seems confused at first, moving his head away until your fingers finally brush against him. Like a cat that doesn’t know if it wants to be petted or not.

what do you want me to say? Yeah, I care about it.” YES OLD SOFT KITTY ADMITTED IT

HE PURRED FUCK IM LEAVING IDK WHERE BUT IM GOING TO WALK THROUGH WALLS

“I didn’t purr! Shut up, I’m not a bat. This is racism against vampires”

This awful sorcerer cursed you to uncontrollable violence and blood thirst, but you broke that curse. Are you even aware of what you achieved? What you did? You wrote your own destiny, Yoongi. And honestly you always speak of redemption, but in my eyes you have redeemed yourself a long time ago.” namjoon stop cutting onions, i love this para

you think that’s something you can handle?” STOP IM BLUSHING AAAH like her compliments are making me giggle like my crush smiled at me hhahaah

“okay…thank you”, he says nonchalantly. oh my tsundere kitty i love you

"But they’re honest”, he sounds offended as if he doesn’t want them to be cheesy.  did i tell you i love yoongi? (definitely not) and that i love the way you write him? (nope never)

“Is it another prison?” He looks saddened for a moment. “Sorry, dark humour. POOKIE NOT THE TIME 😭😭

“That’s so weird, I was never here before.” how big is this house man? narnia? who cleans it?? the cleaner needs a raise we got the keys? im so emotional dont touch me

TAER IS GETTING OUT YES MY LOV EMY OOOKIE MY BOY MY HEART AAH

oh boy this is going to end bad huh yoongi, at one point, she has to leave and go to university soo... oh thank god its winter break. imagine she has a bestie and she just texts, "guess what happened during the break", "you probably rot in your bed like the potato you are" "well, im now dating 3 vampires???" "BITCH WTF" "i may or may not have been kidnapped too??"

TAE OH TAE OH TAE MY HEART IS HURTING FR WHAT DID YOU ADD HERE SIBI

yoongi wtf man

oh no yoongi is already upset and tae provoked yeah jimin my baby 😭😭 we didnt get to give him a chance 😭

ok yoongi is right about that, but tae regretted it and felt real for her

YOONGI STOP HURTING HIM PLEASE waht are u doing no no

yoongi idk waht to say

“Again, it kind of is”, he answers you HE IS SUCH A LIL SHIT SCARING HER FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES

I love him he is just a goof 😔

WAIT HIS SWEATER??? RAAAAAAH HE SAID SHE LOOKS GOOD IN IT AND CAN TAKE IT *jumps out the window

He is my pookie <3

“what’s gotten into you?” fr did he drink some love potion or something lol

he is just in loooveee

I’m entirely yours for the rest of the evening SOMEBODY ARREST THIS MAN HE JUST KILLED ME

I NEED HIM VIOLENTLY

He looked for a book about plants for her? OMG HE READ FOR HER He wanted to be prepared so he could sound intelligent and professional and maybe also impress you or whatever. UWUW AAH “Just some books”, he says, scratching the side of his neck. shy baby What did he look up? um smut SORRY I HAD TO

I'm so sad :( he loves her so much :(

their banter aaah i love it so cute NO WE DONT HATE U WHO SAID THAT

I LOVE THEIR BANTER SO MUCH!!!

you think that’s something you can handle?” STOP IM BLUSHING AAAH like her compliments are making me giggle like my crush smiled at me hhahaah

heheheh she is so cute heheheh

“okay…thank you”, he says nonchalantly. oh my tsundere kitty i love you

i love him so MUCH!!!

"But they’re honest”, he sounds offended as if he doesn’t want them to be cheesy.  did i tell you i love yoongi? (definitely not) and that i love the way you write him? (nope never)

i love him so so so so so so much!!! my beloved boongie <3

TAE OH TAE OH TAE MY HEART IS HURTING FR WHAT DID YOU ADD HERE SIBI

:)

hahah the downfall at the end is so funny to me JFJADJF

[uhshsmsmaka]

Kin list because I keep forgetting and I wanna keep it written so I remember

giving the biggest “please be my friend ur so cool please please please please” to whoever knows all of these characters

But I’ll say them here anyway, in order from the top left going right.

Mikey - rottmnt

SCP-035 - SCP Foundation

Tawnypelt - Warriors

Ennard - FNAF Sister Location

Dr. Iceberg - SCP Foundation

Moxxie - Helluva Boss

Space Kid - Camp Camp

Phone Guy - FNAF 1 (I think?? I never played the games..)

Phillip Graves - Call of Duty Modern Warfare (reboot)

uhhh idk if I label or spelt that right. I hope I did. That’d be kinda embarrassing if I didn’t lol..

———— why I kin them ig.

btw some stuff is headcanons like so and so being lgbtq and Graves having daddy issues

Mikey ROTTMNT- hell, there’s a lot of reasons.. it’s like… really personal with me lol

4th child, plus youngest. 3 older brothers and often gets left out, or brushed off from being involved. + aro/ace spec.

+ orange theme buddy agh I love u ur so pretty 💛💛

+ ADHD

SCP-035 - hmm.

Wants to watch the world burn, and is here for a good time and is really opportunistic with people, and often forms bonds with people for what they can give him… I’m a bad person I know. I’m trying to change.

+ Latin hehe

+ a lot of people really like him when they first meet, and learn the longer they spend with him, the worse he gets.

Tawnypelt - I’ll be honest, I don’t know much about her bc I didn’t read the 2nd arc, but from what I get, she seems to have struggled with gaining her own identity and being seen as someone other than a clone in her family. I struggle with people only knowing me for my brothers so I relate to her for this.

Also idk her leaving Thunderclan, despite her family, friends, and everything she knows and it being genuinely a good place she is comfortable and happy with— to Shadowclan so she can start a new life just touches me personally.

I don’t want to stay here. It’s not bad here, and everyone I love is here, but I don’t feel like I belong here, and I relate to her for it.

Ennard - yeah.. no, I got nothing. Idk why but he’s just like me fr.

Dr. Iceberg - HE’S AN ASSHOLE!!! I’m an asshole!!! Easily entertained, and doesn’t think of others that much, or the consequences of his actions. + mentally ill

+ bad taste in men

+ probably American with a small fraction of his ethnicity from Europe.

Moxxie - Daddy Issues. shit on by everyone. Underestimated kinda I guess???… and mixed morals. Often really polite— or at least is perceived to be, and is a thinker. Can go absolutely feral if necessary.

+ Italian I guess lmfao

+ short- ish..

+ adults and some older kids shall be referred to as ‘sir’ and ‘ma’am’

Space Kid - he likes space. What can I say?

He’s so silly. A lot of the actions and stuff he does feels like stuff I would have done/do.

+ brown hair

Phone Guy - tries to help and probably fails. Hey, he’s trying.

Phillip Graves - Daddy issues. I also headcanon his dad was in the military and he moved around a lot and lived throughout the US, so he’s fairly decent at adapting to different places, and tolerate as hell. “It is what it is” mentality about most everything out of his control.

Finds that one person and looks up to them, and gets really clingy and obsessed with them. Doesn’t show it of course, but in his head he wants to impress them and please them in every way possible. *cough, Shepherd, cough cough*

(I met a lotta people I hyperfixated on giving away everything to make them happy. We’re just casual friends now. Except for that one. She was mean as hell to me. We still meet occasionally tho.)

Outside of headcanons, his personality and the way he acts is just very familiar and relatable to me.

+ American (wtf is a kilometer🦅🫡🦅🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅💥🦅🦅🇺🇸🇺🇸)

+ makes shitty jokes no one laughs at

[kylejsugarman]

do au squared jesse's feelings of inadequacy or self hatred mean he ever neglects baby, physically or emotionally?

yeah :( i know im number one conflict avoider but giving a 24 year old drug addict who experiences The horrors a literal infant to take care of is not going to go perfectly. he makes a lot of mistakes early on due to ignorance and sometimes due to being high or just not paying the right attention, but thats part of the learning curve and theyre more like direct concrete mistakes that he can be like "oh shit" and try to fix. as the show goes on and things just continually Get So Much Worse though, jesse understandably feels Tormented and like hes the source of the evil thats slowly poisoning his life and that really exacerbates his ongoing inner conflict of "wanting to be the sole provider for baby and not trusting anyone else to take care of her, but also feeling disgustingly inadequate and like his poison is eventually going to destroy baby too". when hes in his really low pizza sonic crackhouse place, he struggles the most with this conflict and does emotionally neglect baby because he Thinks this is the correct course of action. he's a murderer and the bad guy and baby shouldn't even be close to him. he leaves her with demi whenever he possibly can and is distant and sad when she's around, feeling even worse every time he looks at her. obviously, baby doesnt understand wtf his damage is and gets upset as they spend more time apart both physically and emotionally, which just reinforces his notion that he's bad for her.

jesse's on the verge of straight up handing over baby to demi despite the absolute agony that would cause him when a night comes that throws everything back into perspective for him. it's shortly after the "gus decides to invest in jesse and keep him from killing himself" arc begins where the Party is beginning to wind down, but theres still some people around and hes still using intermittently. hes coming down from a high downstairs when he hears baby crying upstairs in her room, which he always keeps closed and locked with one of those child proof (and meth head proof) locks so no "guests" can never enter her room. her crying doesnt just trigger that parent, "let me go see what they need" reflex: it Hurts him. terrified that someone got in and is hurting her, he hurries up the stairs and fumbles with the lock for a long moment before finally managing to let himself in. there's no one else there, thank god, just baby wailing in her crib. he picks her up, automatically checking to see if she's wet (nope), then notices that she feels a little warm. he knows by now that babies get sick all the time—"u look away for five minutes and they'll start running a fever," mike will say to him later on during a drop—but that realization still feels awful. jesse's about to have the "i did this and baby needs to be away from me" thought and call demi when baby makes her grabby hands. desperate for a hold. desperate for Him. he obliges, holding her close and feeling her little body wiggle around to eliminate any possible space between them. she wants him. in spite of Everything, she wants him specifically. he ends up sitting there in her room for a long while, just cuddling her as she cries and eventually calms down and nuzzles his neck even though his scruff is probably all scratchy. there's stuff to do (the baby thermometer is downstairs and he should still have some infant tylenol around), but he just sits and cuddles her first. baby still loves him. he hasn't poisoned her and the distance has just been hurting the both of them instead of protecting her. he loves his baby so, so much and he promises her in his head that he's going to be better for both of them. they both deserve it.

[gaming-thoughts-by-an-idiot]

Fable 3, fuck Logan, lil bitch

Game: do u want to be Prince or Princess?

Me: I'd like to be the third secret sex

Game: what?

Me: THE MAIN CHARACTER

Game: y-yes that's-

Me: WHO GONNA SAVE THE WORLD

Game: that's what the sex-

Me: gotta go girl, boys are so obvious, he's gonna be all proper

Game: have u ever met a man...?

Me: girls are so badass, just look at Buffy

Game:...

Me:...

"Ready to see my man... the bastard Reaver"

"Damn, the city sure got bigger in like 20? Years"

"The hen tried to fly but couldn't but they can actually fly so we were all lied to"

"Damn, children working..."

"I cant remember this part of my castle"

"Holy shit it's fucking huge omg"

"Hehe that's what she said"

"That feather had plans"

"Ew look at that hat"

"Damn my dog could've been prettier"

"Pff, do u wanna look princess-y or cool"

"Obviously I'm picking the short and movable one"

"I fucking LOVE Jasper"

"I'm standing still, I wanna hear his comments to it"

"What happens if I try to leave in my pjs"

"He just went 'are u sure?' "

"Damn, he just threw a word at me that idk what means, but I think its like 'silly' "

"I look so pretty- wtf is that hair?"

"Jasper said avoid my brother, but what kind of sister would I be if I did?"

"I'm glad the princess can talk"

"Lmao I just had like the most gangsta handshake with a guard love it"

"I'm so happy I get to pet my dog, not a fan of how she sounds tho"

"Oh wait, I think maybe since I'm playing 3rd on xbox one, but did the 2nd on 360, maybe I won't have the queen but default king..."

"I'm just walking around shaking people's hands"

"Elliot is such a.... name, and- wait... who's gonna be the girl if I'm playing as him???"

"Next time..."

"I will be EVIL and idk why that's a guy"

"Hohoho I kissed the man"

"The city doesn't look like my city :( or... are we not in bowerstone, was that the name? Jesus, I've played the 2nd game for so long and I've forgotten"

"I love we're holding hands"

"I love Walter"

"Oh no my Prince, he ran away"

Walter: I want u to fight me, like your life dependent on it

Me: wow, that doesn't sound like a tutorial at all

"I'm gonna fuck up the buttons"

"Hell ye I did not"

"Damn, thought I should end the game here so I could sleep, but apparently you can't until a spesific place in the game... oh nooo, I have to do my fave hobby? Terrible:)"

"Running with my bois<3"

"There were NOT this many doors in my castle"

"The default is king :/"

"Imo king is so vanilla, like you don't give the same respect as a queen"

"All my hard work of being a queen just gone"

"Basically next time I'm doing it all on xbox one"

"Right, war room"

"Listening in"

"Damn, I'd be upset too if I was Logan, if I had that haircut"

"Oh, same throne at least"

"Ah... here comes the choice"

"Well, as the queen... I'm a good person... until I charge rent ofc haha"

"Bye baby :("

"He loves me😭"

"My MOTHER'S daughter, thank u very much"

Game: the hero was your dad

Me: what was that?

Game: I said the her-

Me: sounded like the wind

Game: tHE HE-

Me: whatever it was, it was saying bs... I miss my queen

Game: u know what? Fuck it.

"Run run run- Where's my dog btw?"

"Oh nevermind"

"Ugh, we're gonna look at the imposter, the king"

"I mean technically, Reaver IS a hero, he's just a bad one"

"Did Logan also go through the whole grab seal, end up in front of Theresa?"

"The seer of the SPIRE???"

"The queen would've fucking whipped Logan's ass if she knew"

"I'm sensing the fanfic energy... not from that Logan thing but for Reaver"

"I'm such a simp"

"For these terrible men...

"And my queen"

"You guided my MOTHER"

"What does Theresa even do in her spare time? I bet she crochets"

"I got a glove that let's me use magic... can anyone say Link? Cuz im getting Link vibes"

"OH FOR FUCKS SAKE, STOP RUNNING IN MY WAY, YA BASTARD DOG"

"Do I get to name my hero? Or am I cursed to see 'hero' every time she speaks?"

"Do I get to name my dog?"

"Isn't the dog supposed bark when there's treasure close by? Cuz I only found that key cuz of my own memory"

"Jasper is scared of bats, he'd make a terrible batman"

Walter: did u see that Jasper???

Jasper: indeed your MOTHER would've been very proud

"Why can't I run"

"Did the queen make these tunnels?"

"What happens if I don't buy the castle in the second game?"

"Can I slut around in this game too?"

"Like mother like daughter, or is it like daughter like mother? I honestly don't know"

"What's with the gift in the symbol in the corner?"

"Thought all the transportation gates were all gone, I'm pretty sure I'm on one"

"Oh wow, look at all that winter. Just like norway"

"I can make friends by shaking hands"

"I'm gonna make everyone love me with how great I am with my hands"

"For handshakes, I meant handshakes"

"I forgot I had to go back to sanctuary to change, which is much better than just changing out into the open imo"

"Oh hell yea! Look at all those gifts!"

"Bleh the outfit is... yeah"

"Dog potion? For what?

"Pink poodle"

"Doberman"

"White poodle... who wants a poodle?"

"Clockwork dog potion??? What does that even mean???"

"Setter dog potion??? What"

"Five star dog potion...?"

"That's all the gifts, i wanted a gift for myself"

"AWW I GOING WITH ALSATIAN DOG, LOOKS LIKE A GERMAN SHEPHERD OMG"

"I CAN NAME THE DOG"

"should be something fun-.... hehe"

"Betcha u can guess"

"I'm giving 10 coins to everyone, I have 129 left"

"Damn, 20coins left"

"Gotta talk to the man with the small fish name"

"What are those jester shoes"

"My mom, the queen, was busy for like 20 or something years..."

"Oh! I'm getting more gifts!"

"They better be for me istg"

"I went into a sink hole water thing and found a wedding ring"

"I think a fish is proposing to me"

"Ooo, dye"

"Are all my packages dye?"

"Tattoo set, nothing says rebel as much as this, I just got out of the castle"

"Bushy hairstyle"

"Bowerstone soldier uniform...???"

"Yule costume lmao"

"Silly outfits, dye and hair types, oh and that tattoo set"

"Out to explore more!"

[alukaforyou]

i am so pissed my crazy grandma keeps feeding people food to my cats holy fucking shit even tho me and my sis told her over 10 times now to cut that shit out, and every time shes like ok i wont ever do it again,, MOTHERFUCKER!!!!! literally she has given them fried chicken, MARINATED SAUCED CHICKEN, DONUTS?, cookies / crackers, and a huge spoonful of STICKY WHITE RICE THIS MORNING my sis saw and went off on her and SHE got angry saying that she wont do it again? but thats what she said last time?? so me and my sis kept going off on her about how thats what she always says and what is she not understanding when we tell her people can be harmful to cats so just do not fucking give them any. at least my dad will occasionally give her a piece of unseasoned boiled shrimp AFTER googling "can cats have x as a treat" nooo my dumbass grandma is convinced she is right and knows all about animals so feeding them a little bit of whatever the fuck is ok, well assflash newshole a little bit DAILY adds up holy shit who gives cats donuts. and we have cat treats and cat food, what the fuck is stopping her from getting some treats if she wants to feed them so bad. for real just dumped a spoonful of rice in front of them at 7am, 1 (one) hour after i ALREADY fed them???? like hello i buy premium ass food for them, take them to the best reviewed vets, spend a shit ton on insurance, for WHAT for u to give them korean chicken and whatever you have on hand every single day oh my god. and the nerve of her to SNAP BACK! BITCH!!! 지가 잘못하고 뭔 지랄이야 씨발 개또라이네 also its not even her old lady memory problems that makes her forget shes not supposed to do this, she SNEAKILY feeds them when me or my sis isnt around like i was chilling in bed a few days ago when i heard the wrapper opening sound for these kr fried donut things we have and i was like this is fucking suspicious so i went out to look, and my grandma was standing so suspiciously close to the cat by the window literally in position to feed her DONUT when i was like wtf r u doing, and she SHUFFLES AWAY SO FUCKING QUICK and was like "i wasnt gonna feed her" LITERALLY DIE BRO DIE PASS AWAY DIE DIE DIE. also my mom HATES living w my grandma too cuz she for real has ISSUES. christ. pass away. ur like old just die bro. honestly my mom & dad have been on their best behavior after i basically surprised moved out and went nc with them, like that scared them good so they begged for me back, and i gave them a 2nd chance which is why i visit them sometimes and they have been helpful caring for my cats while im away (my roommate is allergic so i cant have them at my current apt) but my fcking grandma. getting crazier by the day. she will also vehemently deny doing anything, even tho family members have WITNESSED her doing it, and she always says "i never did that" or "fine i will never do it again" but she keeps. clowning. :) lord help me im abt to beat this elderly womans ass for real

[mangoposts]

also i actually had the worst day of my entire life today so im gonna share 😻😻 a few weeks ago i went to this st. patrick’s day party and long story short my friend hooked up with a guy and i hooked up with a guy and by the end of the night we ended up finding out they were friends. AND LET ME TELLL UUUUU… the guy who i hooked up with was so sexxxxyyyy. or so my black out drunk brain thought he was. when i opened his snap the day after the party i was in for a quite a shocker 😋😋. it’s not that he’s ugly he just looked better at the party when i was drunk and the lights were low. like he’s cute ig but i could have sworn he looked like a blessing from heaven sent straight for me that night. like idk why but i just remember i was crying in the bathroom to my friend bc of how hot he was. anyways he kept asking for a two man since my friend already hooked up with his friend but i would always come up with an excuse bc i did nawt wanna hook up with that man again. fast foward to tonight, i was driving my friend home at like 9 and she starts screaming so i was like wtf and she goes i just got us a two man. and i immediately knew exactly who she was talking about. i told her there is no way im doing that but she’s already in my car so what can i do yk. so she tells me that he wants us to go to his house but i was like u literally have to be home in 30 minutes and he lives an hour away so how would that even work. so then she was like i’ll ask my mom for more time and her mom was like 10 but she was like 10:30 so they compromised for 10:15. but i was like that still isn’t enough time to do anything and then she goes they’re gonna meet us halfway. so guess where halfway was. the fucking street parking right in front of LMU. so we are literally just sitting in my car parked in front of LMU waiting for them to come. they finally come at 10 but i’m asking my friend wtf she thinks is gonna happen in like 5 minutes bc i still have to get her home by 10:15 and all she says is don’t worry about it and jumps out of my car to go see the guys. they talk for a minute on the corner and then she and the guy she hooked up with start walking in the other direction and the guy i hooked up with starts walking towards my car. he gets in the passenger seat and is just staring at me. and mina oml. it’s so fucking awkward. so finally he’s like should we get in the back and i was just like yea bc i didn’t know where my friend went and how long they would be gone and idk how much more of the silence i could take. we get in the back and start kissing but i keep pulling away like every 2 minutes bc i was just not in the mood for the surprise two man. especially not with this man. also i turned my car off so there’s no music and i quite literally have my body as far away from his as i could possibly have it. after like 20 minutes he’s like do u want me to get out and as much as i wanted to say yes i felt rlly bad for the way i was acting so i just said i was worried where my friend went bc it’s now 10:30 and i was supposed to have her home and her phone is in my car so i can’t call her. he’s just like oh i get it and we just end up talking. when it becomes 11 i was like do u think we should get out and look for them and he’s like yea so we start walking around and we see them making out on the corner. that was actually my final straw. i just walked to my car bc i couldnt deal with any bullshit anymore lmao. my friend finally comes back to my car and she’s all giddy and shit and i’m just like i’m glad ur smiling bc im definitely not. so then she goes to check her phone and she has like 30 missed calls from her parents bc it’s now like 11:30. and so she’s rushing me to get her home now bc her parents are hella pissed. like bitch. ik u aren’t rushing me. anyways now idk what to do bc i feel so bad for acting that way towards the guy but i also don’t know if i should apologize. anyways tell me ur thoughts or whatever 😻😻😻

-🐒

WOWWWWWWW UR FRIEND IS A DAWWWWGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG i would literally buy her an uber and drive home myself i cannot believe that Lmaoooooo but i meannnn if you don’t like the guy you can’t force it, there’s really no need to apologize nothing went wrong 🤷🏻‍♀️ You could just tell him you couldn’t focus because you were worried and ghost him after that like he doesn’t seem that serious

Ur friend is so strange though if i was responsible for her whereabouts id straight up call her mother myself and be like heyyyy yes i have ur kid but im going HOME❤️ I do not play like that