#class 12 maths chapter 10 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

glubglubgurgle · 2 months ago

Text

bruised apples

caleb's willing to wait forever for you, but why would you like someone else?

pairings: Caleb/unnamed afab MC

tags: fluff and angst, angst and romance, yearning!!!!, old days, non canon compliant, slow burn, awkward love, eventual romance, eventual smut, dry humping..., caleb third person pov

word count (C1-9): 21.4k

a/n!: cross posted on ao3! this is my first time posting a fic on tumblr...idk how to format everything prettily like everyone else TT this is also my first time writing a fic in forever and first time writing anything smutty in general. there is def some grammar issues...sorry!!! but i hope u enjoy anyways :3

CHAPTER 10 CHAPTER 11-12 CHAPTER 13-14 EPILOGUE

Chapters 1-9 below!

Chapter 1

“I think I like someone.”

Caleb was as resilient as can be. It took more than a few hits to the face to take him down, if anyone even managed to get that close to him. He endured far more physical and emotional pain than anyone his age should have experienced.

But his world came crashing down once the girl he dreamed of every night said that one sentence.

He was on his break from the DAA, and she sprung the five words during dinner, ever so casually. She poked at her food with her fork, biting her lip and avoiding eye contact. He knew she always felt uncomfortable talking about boys with him. Admittedly, he gets really defensive about her and the guys around her. All these years of protecting her, he could never be sure about anyone’s intentions.

“Please say something, you scare me when you’re quiet.” Her hand rested on his. “He’s really nice, and I don’t even think he likes me like that. I just wanted to tell you because I feel really strongly about this crush for once, and you’re important to me. I don’t wanna hide anything from you.” Her fingers gripped on his tighter as she rambled.

Caleb finally recovered from his thoughts, noticing the scowl building on his face and attempted to reverse it. He let go of his fork and put his hand atop of hers. “Pips, I’m glad you like someone. I just worry about you, but thanks for telling me.” He raised her hand with his and stared at her fingers. Nails painted like red and green apples. Thoughts of her in her room painting her nails while she missed him flood his brain. “He’d be an idiot to not like you back…” he mutters. The frown on his face twitches back into a soft smile. He let go of her hand and pinched her cheek, eliciting a shriek from her.

“Hey!” She pulled her hand back from near you and rubbed her face. She resumed eating, a small smile played on her lips, as if she felt accomplished.

“So…” Caleb drew out the o’s. “Who is he? Does he have good grades? Is he nice?” Feigning a positive interest. Truthfully, it killed him.

She, on the other hand, seemed very interested to talk about her mystery man. She took her last bite from her bowl before bringing her legs up to hug her knees. She rested her cheek on her right knee to look at him while talking, giddy. So entranced by the thoughts of her crush, she didn’t notice the way Calebs fists were clenched under the table or the way his lips would betray him and frown every now and then.

“He sits next to me in class, right now. We switched our seats around because everyone was sitting with their friend the first week.” Her cheeks turned pink thinking of him. “I never really interacted with him before…I think we were on opposite sides of the class every year before, but also there was never really any reason to.” She shrugged, eyes wandering while thinking of the past. She shook her head to get back on track and looked back at Caleb with a sort of gleam in her eye. “He’s really smart, I think he was top of the class last year. We didn’t really talk much at first, but he saw me struggling with a math question and helped me out. Ever since, we’ve been talking more and more.” She giggled.

Her smile would always put one on Caleb’s face. This one stung. A smile meant for someone else. Did he even deserve it? Does he even know how lucky he is?

“Don’t worry, I’ve done a background check on him…kind of. I know you always tell me to be careful and from what I’ve seen and heard, he’s good!” She stood up and saluted at me, “Won’t let you down, Captain Caleb!” She released her position and laughed. She picked up her dishes to take to the sink.

Surprisingly, Caleb heard the water running and dishes clanking. Normally she left her dishes for him to do.

He got up and walked toward her. Her back faced him and he had to hold back from doing anything rash. Multiple scenarios played in his mind. What if he just admitted his feelings now? What if he begged her not to like this guy? What if he made him disappear?

Instead he wrapped his arms around her, and rested his forehead on her shoulder. “I was only gone for a few weeks and you already found someone to take up your brain…” He let out a sigh against her sweater before breathing her in. She even smelled like candied apples.

She giggled, again. She turned the water off before turning around to look at him. She grabbed his face with both her hands and shook him around. Just like she always did when they were kids. “There’s the jealous and protective Caleb.”

His eyes widened at her reaction. Lax and carefree.

“You were being so supportive, I was starting to wonder if they cloned you over at the DAA and sent back a faulty one.” She snorted a little before letting his face go to turn back to the dishes. “And it’s been empty around here…but I’m not replacing you. You’re very important to me. I just really like him, but who knows if it’ll go anywhere. I think crushes are fun. And it’s my last year!” After setting her bowl on the drying rack, she turned back around and poked his cheek.

Caleb cleared his throat, and regained his posture. Crossing his arms, he looked at her with mock judgement, “Yeah, Pips. It’s your last year, shouldn’t you be studying? You better not throw away your Hunter dream for a guy.”

She rolled her eyes before pushing past him. “You didn’t even finish your food. Eat before you start to lecture me, I’m not doing your dishes.” She snarked back before dropping onto the couch.

Caleb stood in the kitchen, touching his face where she left electric currents. He knew he was screwed. How is he going to pretend to be okay with this? He knew he had to. He didn’t want to scare her off, and he just wanted her to be happy. Would this guy make her happy? As much as he made her happy? Would that guy cherish her the way he cherished her?

“When you’re done, come watch a movie with me.” She said from the couch, shaking him from his own thoughts. “I missed so many new movies because I waited to watch it with you.” She grumbled.

She was quick to say things that meant the world to Caleb, but it probably just came off casually to her. He tried to shake off the confession of her crush on someone else and cleaned up his own dishes. He was itching to spend time with you, and he didn’t want this bump in the road to get in the way. On one hand, this crush wouldn’t turn into anything serious. Like she said, they just started talking more.

But the idea of someone not liking her just doesn’t seem possible in Caleb’s brain. She was perfect according to him. Perfect for him, even. He couldn’t find the possibility of whoever that guy was to not like her back. Would he be strong enough emotionally to let her be happy with him? To stand by and watch someone else take her away?

Caleb sat at the end of the couch while she laid her head on his lap. They always watched movies like this. She always ended up falling asleep if she didn’t like the movie. And he always watched her, admiring her, before falling asleep himself. Their grandma would always come home to find them slumped against each other on the couch with the TV running.

The first movie was not to her liking at all. She fell asleep in the first ten minutes. Caleb wanted to keep asking about the mysterious guy, but he heard her soft snores and felt a damp patch on his thigh as she started to drool. He bit his lip as he stroked the top of her head.

“How could you like someone else, Pipsqueak…?” He mumbled, soft enough to not disturb her. It was destroying him. He was wondering if he could drop out and wait for her to graduate before going back to the DAA. But if he did that, how would he take control of the sky for her like he promised? He wanted to give her everything, but he also wanted to be her everything. Caleb loved her. He wished he could be selfish and take her as his own. He knew he could make her happy, he knew because he would do anything to make her happy. Would the other guy do the same?He knew he was thinking crazy. He was planning out the future at great lengths just because she had a simple crush. He couldn't help it. Caleb was terrified. His biggest fear was losing her.

Chapter 2

The two walked down the familiar path of the park near their home in silence. Although the awkward situation died down, Caleb was unable to keep away from his own thoughts. Despite the chilly autumn air prickling both of their skins, his blood ran hot with the thoughts of another guy taking up your time. He had to stop himself every now and then to remind him that they weren’t even close like that.

It was a dumb crush. He hoped endlessly.

“Caleb?” Her voice tore through his thoughts and ripping him from his worries. “It’s the fall festival and you walked past every apple stand without a glance.” She poked at his cheek and tried lifting the corner of his mouth into a smirk. “You promised me a pie. Why are you so stressed?” She got on her tippy toes and her hand moved up to his furrowed brows, trying to massage it out. “You haven’t told me anything about how the aviation academy is treating you…” She muttered, looking at him with a sort of puppy-dog eyes.

He grabbed her hand and held it for a second before letting it drop back to her side. “You’re getting nosy, Pip. I wonder who you learned that from,” a natural smirk formed on his face.

She rolled her eyes and hooked his arm with hers before continuing to walk. “Is the aviation academy cool? I want to visit next time.”

Caleb looked down at her as they walked and a pit in his stomach grew. She looked so beautiful to him, this was his world. He felt like he was going insane trying to fight the thoughts in the back of his head of someone else taking her away from him. After all he fought for. Everything about her felt like home and she was his primary motivation. How could she like someone else? He looked at her hairpin, the one he got for her from a small shop at Skyhaven, and reached out to touch it. “It’s fun learning, I miss being back home with you and Gran, though.” He softly said, meaning it wholeheartedly. “I’m glad you use this, I was worried you wouldn’t like it.” He said with a small smile.

“Of course I like it, silly.” She looked up at him from the side with a wide smile. She stopped them from walking and let go of Caleb. She reached into her bag to grab her coin pouch that was also gifted by him and put it to her face to smile even wider. “I love everything you give me! It makes me feel like a bit of you is still with me even when you’re away.”

His heart warmed. The necklace she gifted him suddenly felt warm on his chest, as if to remind him that he does and feels the same thing. “That’s good. I am always here for you.” He smirks, patting the top of her head.

She got on her tippy toes and her face got close to his, arms almost wrapping around his neck.

He stilled and everything else stopped. He looked onto her smiling face and his eyes fell to her rosy lips. So close, yet so far.

Her hands tinkered around his neck looking for the familiar chain to pull out from under his shirt. She gruffed before settling back down on her feet. “Why do you hide it, embarrassed?” She fixed the necklace atop his chest where it was visible. Once she was satisfied, she walked towards an apple stall that was run by their neighbour.

Caleb took a moment to recover. He could have kissed her right then and there. Maybe she would have reciprocated and he wouldn’t have to worry anymore. He knew it was wrong. Caleb needed her and he wanted to be someone she needed too. He rubbed the back of his neck where he could still feel her fingers and then caught up with her.

“Caleb, how many apples do we need for a pie?” She called out to him, waving her coin pouch again.

They grabbed hot ciders from a stall and found a bench to sit on under the streetlights, overlooking the festival crowd. “I told you about my crush…did you meet anyone you like?” She asked. Caleb could’ve sworn the question was laced with fear or hestiance, but he brushed it off as hopeful thinking.

He took a sip of his cider before shaking his head. “I don’t have time for that, you know me.” He set his cup down beside him. “It’s just like high school again, though…I’m just so charming.” Caleb smirked, looking at her.

She rolled her eyes before lightly pushing him, “Heartbreaker…none of them interest you? There’s no way not one of them caught your eye” She sips on her own cider looking away.

There was a pang in his chest, if it wasn’t her being worried about him, it felt like she was trying to marry him off. And it hurt him that she didn’t know that all he could think about was her. He was too busy with school, and even busier with her happiness and safety occupying his brain. “Nope.” He popped the ‘p’ and rubbed his palms on pants. “I’m too busy trying to become your personal pilot, Pip. Why would I be interested in anyone else when you’re already a handful,” he tried to joke. “Do you want me to get a girlfriend that bad?” He leaned towards her ear and muttered.

She slowly turned her body to face him and looked at him in the eyes. “Would it be bad if I said no?” She bit her lip, a nervous habit that she gained ever since Caleb said he was going to the DAA the previous year.

It was like Caleb’s lungs had the air sucked out by a vaccuum as he tried to wrap his head around what she said. From pure instinct, he reached out with his thumb to release her lip from teeth. “That’s not fair, Pipsqueak. If I said that about your crush, you’d get mad at me.” His voice was barely above a whisper.

She quickly covered her face with both of her hands before standing up, “I was just kidding. I’m gonna go find a snack.” She ran off before Caleb could process anything else.

It was always like this. She would say something that would make him feel like there was a chance that the two shared the same dreams. The dream that there would be a happy ending, together. More than just the closest friends since childhood. Caleb just thought she was also as big of a coward as him. But eventually it would work out. He hoped.

Was what she said really just a joke? If there was any true meaning behind it, even just a sliver, Caleb was willing to hold on tight to it. He grabbed the bag of apples and the two ciders before walking off to find her again.

After weaving through the crowd of families, he spotted her yellow cardigan. Next to a guy in a white muscle shirt and ripped jeans. Caleb’s fists tightened around the cups he was holding, but he managed to control it to avoid piercing the styrofoam. As he got closer, he could see her laugh at something the guy had said. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ears that were tinged with pink.

He didn’t seem to be a threat. In fact, he seemed nice. In Caleb’s eyes, though, he was an enemy. He knew it was him. Her deskmate, the one she said she liked.

“Pipsqueak, did you find anything else?” Caleb acted casual, stepping beside her while holding out her drink for her to take.

She seemed stunned to see him, as if he wasn’t just with her less than five minutes ago. She stammered a bit before grabbing the drink and shaking her head. “O-oh, I ran into my classmate so I got distracted.”

Caleb’s eyes pierced through hers and he could feel how nervous she was. Was it from what she said or was it from the guy in front of her?

“This is my childhood friend, Caleb. He’s visiting from the DAA!” She regained her composure as if the chance to brag about knowing someone at the aviation academy fueled her confidence. “And this is my deskmate, Eric.”

Eric.

Caleb wished so deeply that the man he was so worried about would remain nameless.

Eric reached his hand out to Caleb, “It’s nice to meet you, she talks about you all the time.”

Caleb smiled, surprisingly with some sincerity because of what Eric said. He grabbed his hand and was met with a firm handshake. “You too, I hope she doesn’t bother your studies with dumb stories about me.”

Eric shook his head, chuckling. “No bother here. I’m actually interested in what she has to say about you. I’m also planning on attending the DAA. I hope I can rely on you in the future.” His dark purple eyes looked at Caleb, hopefully.

Someone called Eric’s name from afar and everyone turned to find another girl waving at him.

“Oh, that’s my sister. I have to get going. Have fun! I’ll see you at school next week.” Eric waves at the two before running off.

The two of them watched her crush disappear into the crowd. It was awkward and silent for only a few moments, but it felt like years to the two of them.

Caleb was the first to break the silence. “That’s him, huh?” He couldn’t help the disappointment in his voice, but he hoped she was too flustered to notice. He looked to find her looking down at her shoes.

“It’s not like I’m in love with him,” she muttered. “Doesn’t he seem nice, though?” She finally looked at Caleb, seeking some sort of approval.

He reluctantly nods. There were multiple alarms ringing in his head, but he couldn’t deny that Eric seemed like a decent person. He will never be too sure and he would never deserve her, though. “I just want you to be happy, Pips. I’ll be here for you whether or not anything happens between you two. Just be careful and don’t let your grades slip.” He pats her head, with a slight hesitation at first.

“...You know, he kind of reminds me of you.” She beamed. “Maybe that’s why I got comfortable quickly. He helps me with my studies and he also wants to be a fighter pilot. How silly.” She starts to walk through the crowd again, shrugging.

Caleb wondered why she’d need someone like him when he was there all along.

Chapter 3

Caleb wasn’t able to sleep the night of the festival.

He tossed and turned thinking of everything that happened. And it was just one day. He was excited for this weekend, just so he could see her again. Instead of being met with open arms, he received the crushing news of there being someone else she liked. And he was apparently someone like him.

The idea that she looked for Caleb in this new person clawed at him. Why would she have to look for someone else like him instead of giving herself to him. There was no denying it anymore. He knew that deep down, she felt the same way about him. It just killed him that she drew an invisible line that she forbade herself to cross. If it wasn’t Eric, would she look for someone else? How many people would she look for Caleb in before giving up and admitting to her own feelings?

Caleb got up and sat on the edge of his bed, his head in his hands. He knew he was the only one who could really protect her from what’s out there. Eric would never know what to do for when the inevitable happens. He didn’t see or experience what happened to them as kids. She doesn’t remember it, but it haunts him every day.

As much as a good person Eric could be, he could never provide what Caleb has and will. He knew that.

He looked at his wall. Multiple frames of the two of them. The smile she wore calmed his heart. The memories of him being able to hold her kept him sane. The very essence of her made him feel alive.

And at the end of the day, he couldn’t lose her. He was willing to bear the pain of seeing her try to do what she thinks she wants. He knew that if he tried to stop her, he could lose what they had at that moment. He didn’t want to be the reason she’s uncomfortable, upset, or crying. He wanted to be strong for her. And for her, no matter how long, he would wait.

He hoped to whatever deity there is, that he would be strong enough.

Still unable to sleep, Caleb walked down the hallway into the kitchen. Passing by her room, where the door was slightly ajar, he halted. She was sleeping soundly on her bed. The moonlight from the window shining lightly on her features.

Caleb understood his weakness. And it was her.

Walking inside, he softly sat on the edge of her bed and put his hand atop of hers for a moment before holding it. Unexpectedly, the motion blinked her awake.

“Caleb…?” She mumbled, her hand slipping out of his to rub her eyes.

“Shh, Pips. I didn’t mean to wake you.” He whispered, flustered at his carelessness. “You can go back to sleep.

“Did you have a nightmare?” She softly asked, squinting at him, attempting to blink the sleepiness away. The corner of her mouth lifted slightly. “You’re just like me…come here. I’ll do what you did when we were kids.” She scooted to the side of her bed and opened her arms to him while patting the now-empty side.

Caleb chuckled. Inside, he felt extremely hot and flustered. But this was truly home and he wasn’t able to resist.

She used to be the one waking him up on a stormy night, and Caleb always welcomed his bed to her. Falling asleep in each other’s arms was no stranger. He was always happy to be able to provide this comfort for her.

He slipped into her arms and she giggled. “It’s been a while…it hasn’t rained in Linkon for a while. But now you’re the one crawling to me.” She turned to her side and let her arm drape over his chest while he moved his own arm for her to use as a pillow.

“Yeah,” was all Caleb could mutter.

She went back to sleep in an instant. She began lightly snoring and her breath was warm against his bicep.

It was pure bliss and he wished he could take a snapshot of this moment and live in it forever. He would’ve admired the sight the whole night if it wasn’t for the extreme feeling of comfort weighing his eyelids down. And he fell asleep with her around him.

“I can’t believe you’re already leaving tonight. You just got here…” A frown was evident through her voice as she rested her forehead on the wall of the hallway.

The two had just woken up early in the morning. It should be just like any other day of them sleeping in the same bed, since they’ve done it for years. But Caleb felt like it was different since his feelings were pushed to the outermost part of his heart out of defense. For her, on the other hand, he assumed she built more bricks on the invisible line to keep her from crossing it and this really was just another day. Awful luck for him.

He reached over to her with both hands on shoulders to turn towards him. “I’ll call you every day, like I always do.” He unstuck the hair on her forehead and wiped a stray tear from her cheek with his thumb. “Should I just drop out?” He smirked at her.

She jutted her bottom lip out to pout harder, somehow possible. She shook her head before leaning in and wrapping her arms around him and burying her face in his chest. Muffled yet audible, “No…I’m just not used to being gone. I don’t know if I ever will be.” Caleb felt wet spots through his thin shirt, where her eyes were. “Gran’s usually out or sleeping early. I don’t wake up to you cooking and no one’s waiting for me outside the school gates.”

She cried for the same worries when he first left for Skyhaven. Now her worries came true, and Caleb thought that it must’ve been harder for her because of that. He thought that maybe that’s why she was so desperate to find someone else. It was hard to blame her, he never could. But at the same time, he just wanted to be selfish for once.

He grabbed her hands from behind him and unwrapped her from him, so he could talk to her face to face. She looked up at him with already-swollen eyes and the same pout, making his heart ache even more. He held her face with both his hands, gently like he was holding the world. And in his head, he was. “You know I’m always here for you. I’m just one call away. I’ll drop everything for you and I’ll always do my best to visit on weekends. It should be a little easier since I’ve settled in.” He wiped another tear from her face. “Don’t mope too much and spend time with your friends, though. You should enjoy your last year before the Hunter’s Academy.” He gave her a soft smile. “Now go take a shower, you’re all sweaty and crying.” He tried to lighten the mood, pushing her towards the bathroom. “I’ll set up the kitchen to make our pie.”

With that, she finally smiled. She stopped at the doorframe of the bathroom before turning back around to hug him again and muttering a small thanks. And then she was back in the bathroom and he heard the water running.

A bit taken aback, Caleb was just relieved that she was worried as much as he was. And missed him as much as he missed her. It really solidified the bond they had and it helped reinforce that no one could really break it. Although the worry was still there, he knew he could bear it longer and wait for her.

The kitchen counters were soon covered in flour and mixing bowls and the two of them baked to their heart's content. Another snapshot Caleb wished he could live in forever. Carefree quality time with the love of his life. The flour on both of their faces was caused by each other’s foolery. The smell of the autumn air, warm apples, and baking crust filled their home.

“I wish we could just stay like this.” She laughed, sitting on the counter as Caleb checked on their pie in the oven. “I love fall. It feels so worry-free when we do things like this.” Her feet swung as she took in the scent of the scenery.

“Me too, Pips.” He smiled, closing the oven. Another set of reassurance calmed his worrywart heart. “Once we both graduate and when I’m back in Linkon, we can do this every day.” He turned to her and dabbed more flour on the tip of her nose.

She snorted the flour out before bursting in laughter.

“That is, of course, if you’re not too busy saving the world as the best Hunter in it.” He smirked at her, gathering all their dishes.

She got back down from the counter to help him clean. “It also depends on you being too busy up in the air saving birds and stuff.” She teased.

“Hm, saving birds will always be fun in the future,” he played along. “But I’ll never be too busy to spend time with you.” He patted her head with his flour covered hand, earning a playful glare from her.

She then retaliated by ruffling his hair with her own floury hands. “Same here.” She then said, with a genuine smile.

Leaving that night was hard for Caleb.

She insisted on going with him to the train station.

“You’ve survived three whole weeks without me, Pip. You’ll be okay.” Caleb pinched her damp cheeks. “You’re crying more than you did when I first left.” He tried to tease her with a smile, but it hurt him to see her so sad.

Her eyes got redder as she rubbed them with the back of her hoodie sleeve. His hoodie actually, but she seemed to have stolen it from his closet while he was gone. It was enormous on her, but she looked comfortable. “I don’t know…I kind of got used to our routine of calling at night and stuff. But since you came back, I just remembered how much I missed how it was when you were here.”

“I’ll really try to come back next weekend. Only if you promise to do all your work and get good grades. You know the Hunter’s Association doesn’t just accept anyone.” He tried to be a good motivator, but if he was being honest, he was willing to turn in his leave of absence letter to his own academy and plan his gap year for her. “Give me a pinky promise.” He held his pinky out like they always did.

She swam her hand out of the long sleeves of her sweater and interlocked it with his, before locking the promise with their thumbs. “I’ll be studious and strong until you come back again.” She mocked bravery and nodded.

“Atta girl,” Caleb said. “Go back now. Let me watch you leave.” He turned her around and kept her facing the exit. “If you turn back, it’ll make it harder, so don’t.” He pushed her slightly, but surprisingly she didn’t budge.

Instead she turned back around and wrapped her arms around his neck before reaching up to leave a peck on his cheek. All before she turned and ran away.

The spot on his cheek was on fire and so was his chest. His resolve began to crumble on the spot. The strength he once believed he had was slipping away through the cracks of his fingers like sand.

Chapter 4

He was unable to return that weekend.

Nor the weekend after.

Although he was doing good in all of his classes, teamwork was prioritized in the academy. And that meant weekends dedicated to team assignments and training. As much fun that he had with his classmates and new friends, it couldn’t outweigh the pain of leaving her

It was unbearable for Caleb. The broken promises lingered in the air whenever they called at night. The look on her face whenever she saw him through the screen, as if she was going to crack at any moment. The first weekend was hard because when he told her that Friday that he couldn’t go home, she hung up immediately and wouldn’t pick up his calls until Sunday. She sent him one-word responses to his texts and kept saying she was busy when he tried to call.

It took a bit for her to be less upset. It was a bittersweet thing to think about in Caleb’s mind. He was, in a way, happy. That his presence meant so much to her. But he did not like how upset he made her feel.

It was inevitable, though. He knew she expected this and so did he. Aviation academy, although it was his dream, he knew it would take him away from her like this. And even if it wasn’t the academy he was going to, it would be the one she would go to the following year. His main dream of being by her side would be thrown off by his and her dream job.

As the days went by, she became less upset and even back to normal at one point. She always asked about his day and then she’d go on for a long time about hers. He looked forward to it every night, he hoped that she felt the same way.

The workload of the academy became even more vigorous as the weeks went by. The more they transitioned from paperwork and hypotheticals into field work and practicals, the more time was taken away from him.

“You look awfully chipper today, Pipsqueak. Anything happened today?” Caleb looked at her through his laptop screen, smiling at her phone. They always did their homework together on video call to make it easy for her to ask him for help. Caleb didn’t know why he didn’t suggest it earlier, but it was better than her asking Eric for help in AND out of class. Although her staring at her phone was unusual. She was normally very attentive to her work, but that night, she was overly invested on her phone rather than her studies. Caleb knew the answer, but he hoped she would prove his hypothesis wrong.

“You remember Eric? We’ve been hanging out more! We even exchanged contacts, he’s pretty funny.” She must have noticed a face on Caleb from the way she cleared her throat before setting her phone down. “But I should get back to work.” She nodded.

He couldn’t control his face, but he tried to avoid scowling at least. “I’m glad you’re happy, Pips. I hope it goes well for you.” He said through gritted teeth, hoping he sounded genuine. “But if I hear that your grades are slipping, I’m making you move schools.” He looked back down at his work. He was actually already done with it, but he just wanted to seem busy so she wouldn’t hang up.

“Can I ask you something?” She said, making his eyes dart back to his screen. He saw her fidgeting with her pen.

“Of course, Pips.” He was scared. This was one of the lines that was on the anxiety-inducing list, along with ‘we need to talk’ and ‘I will never love you more than just a friend’ but it wasn’t number one. His mind raced through the multiple things she could ask about: his love life, quantum mechanics, why he was so obsessed with her, why he loved her, why he won’t let go of her, kitchen recipes. The list went on in his head.

“How do you know if you REALLY like someone?” She mumbles so quietly, the mic almost didn’t pick it up. “And like how do you know if someone likes you?”

Caleb dropped his pencil and tried to find an answer to give her that didn’t give him away. “Uhh, I’d assume that if you looked forward to seeing them everyday. If you wanted to prioritize their happiness over yours and you’d do anything for them.” He rubbed his chin trying to think of more answers, “Maybe if you smiled every time you thought of them.”

“It sounds like you have experience…” She muttered, wide-eyed towards him.

He stammered, “W-well, I’m just assuming. I did say I was assuming, right? I read books. Haven’t you read books? I’ve seen your bookshelf. Shouldn’t you know better than me?” He hoped he sounded convincing. He heard a snicker behind him to find his roommate Gideon laughing. Caleb glared at him and Gideon went back to pretending to be asleep. Thankfully, when he looked back at the screen, she was looking down at whatever and didn’t notice.

“Well, yeah. I think I know. I just wanted to hear from a guy.” She mumbled. It was silent for a moment before she groaned and ruffled her own hair out of frustration. “I don’t even know if he likes me!” She hid her face in her hands.

“Can you see the rest of your life with him?” Caleb blurted out. He couldn’t help it. He knew he would be better for her because he knows he’ll be there for her until the end. He would do anything to make sure of it. He knows she can see him in the future too.

“Oh my god, Caleb. We just started being friends like two months ago!” She groaned even louder and dropped her down to the desk. All he saw then was the top of her head.

Caleb softly chuckled to himself. He knew his answer after a few moments of knowing her. He knew he wanted to protect her again and again until the end of time. Love at first sight, he thought. “I’m just asking, Pips. You sound so serious about him.” Caleb found it in him to tease her. “Are you gonna do anything about it?” He was confident earlier. After the last question, he got scared again. What if she wasn’t the ‘love at first type’ girl and she instead enjoyed a slow friendship to lovers pipeline. Shouldn’t he still be able to be the latter? But Eric could fit the latter too.

She got up and shook her head before tilting her head and thinking harder. “I don’t think so…maybe talk to him more and even hang out? We had lunch together…but in the cafeteria so it’s not that crazy.” She turned to the camera, her eyes boring into his through the screen. “What would make you like a girl?”

He pretended to think. In his head he knew the answer: likes his cooking, is afraid of thunder, dreams of being a Hunter, loves apples and apple designs, sucks at physics, sleeps in until noon, loves horror movies but can’t sleep after…the list went a long way but the answer was simple. Be her. “She’d have to be someone I can be myself with and be comfortable with.” He was proud of his vague answer. It was still about her. Home.

“You’re so basic, you’re no help.” She snorted before starting her work again. “I’ll just let the tides take us to where we have to be then. If it’s meant to be, then so be it.” She giggled.

With this, Caleb silently prayed to the tides she spoke of. In his head he prayed that they would take them to a point where they are the true ending. That the stars point to him as her one true love.

They hung up soon after. She was tired from her homework and they both had class the next day. When Caleb shut his laptop shut, his roommate Gideon propped himself up on his elbow. “You’re incredibly obvious. How does she not see it?” His eyes followed Caleb’s as he sat down on his own bed.

“I thought you went to sleep.” Caleb rolled his eyes, slipping under his sheets after turning off the desk lamp.

“You kept bouncing your leg, I couldn’t sleep. And anyways, that call was the most interesting one yet. I was sure you were going to confess tonight.” Gideon laughed. He layed back down and looked up at the ceiling. “I was confused why you turned down every single girl in our class the first week. Once we settled in here, I realized you’re madly in love.”

“Yep…” Caleb sighed. There’s always a stack of love letters by his door and presents at times. He didn’t know how they had the time to do so, considering the academy’s heavy workload. It was the same during high school. At least then, someone was able to reap the rewards of his attractiveness. She would always eat the snacks given to him. Now it was Gideon, but he couldn’t keep up with it either. “How come everyone else but her sees it?”

“Judging from how I see it, I don’t think she really cares for how hot someone is? And didn’t you two grow up with each other? Maybe she’s looking for someone new…? Not to ruin your life or anything…” He suggested, trying not to push his buttons. Gideon knows how angry Caleb could get.

Someone once complimented a photo of her on his phone and said some depraved words along with it. If Gideon didn’t clock the fire behind Caleb’s eyes, the crude guy would’ve lost an arm.

“New…” Caleb mulled over the idea before shaking his head. “You know the guy she has a crush on…she said he reminds her of me.” It was his turn to prop himself up to face Gideon across the room. “And in a way, he reminded me of me too.” Tall, brown haired, pilot centric. The similarities were incredulous.

“Dude.” Gideon sat up. “She’s looking for your replacement. Maybe she thinks that after being away for so long, you’ll find someone else. And she’s trying to beat you to it.”

Caleb flipped over on his bed to groan into his pillow. He doesn’t think Gideon’s completely right, but he could tell that she was worried about him getting a girlfriend. She said it herself. But the replacement part sounds correct. She can’t bring herself to love him, and she’s looking for other people like him. He didn’t know why he opened up to Gideon. Reassurance, he thought. Yet all he received was reassurance for the wrong parts. He wanted to hear, ‘She DOES like you!’ not ‘She’s REPLACING you!’

The weekend he could go home finally arrived. A month after he promised he would. To make up for it, Caleb wanted to surprise her. His professor was out sick that Friday and he was able to leave early on Thursday. He wanted to wait for her at the school gate, like how he did before.

He propped himself against the stone fence, looking up at the trees that still had some of their red and orange leaves. He looked around the area and was reminded of when they were at school together. Even though it was only earlier in the year, it felt like ages ago.

She usually took forever packing up since she loved to chat with her friends after class. He would stand at the same spot waiting for her. Back then, he would sometimes hide to avoid his own classmates. Mainly the girls in his class. Her classmates weren’t as bold as his. They would look at him and whisper to their friends, but besides that, he had nothing to worry about.

That present day was no different. As people poured out of the property, he had some stares here and there, but no one bothered him. He raked through the crowds looking for her.

The ring of her laughter reached his ears and filled him with even more warmth that the sun could never give him. He saw her walk down the steps, and even though she was walking beside Eric, all he could think of was how glad he was to see her again.

The sun shone at her perfectly. Her eyes sparkled as she smiled in the daytime. He felt like he was falling in love again, but it was hard to know that he couldn’t just run up to her and kiss her in front of everyone. To let everyone know that she was his. Because she wasn’t.

He wanted to hold her face in between his hands and stare at her for hours on end in the sunlight. And memorize every curves on her face and the colors in her eyes. He wanted to be the reason she laughed and smiled.

As she got closer, she saw him.

Caleb stood confidently and in awe at the same time. He missed her.

And by the looks of it, so did she. The moment they locked eyes, hers began to look shinier with tears. She started running towards him without a notice to her friends or even Eric.

“Hey Pipsqu-” Caleb said with a big smile on his face before she interrupted him by throwing herself around him.

“You’re such an asshole,” she muttered into his neck as she hugged him.

His arms wrapped around her waist to support her up and he smiled into her hair, “I know, I’m sorry…I’ll take whatever punishment you have for me.” His heart felt full, having her this close to him.

Time stopped for him. It was like everyone else disappeared when he saw her. The sun shone brighter and the air became cooler and breezier. He was truly home.

She stepped down and looked up at him, still teary-eyed. He wiped her tears with his thumb and chuckled at her. “Miss me much?” He teased her.

She nodded, pouting. “I got good grades just for you to not even show up in person to congratulate me.” She lightly punched his arm. A perplexed face covered her sad one. She reached out again to squeeze his arm. “When did this happen…?”

He rolled his eyes, hoping his face didn’t look as warm as it felt. “I’ve always been rock solid.”

She shook her head, punching his bicep even more. “Stop flexing.”

He wondered if he even was flexing but he wasn’t. Did the academy have him working that much? Caleb went to the gym everyday like he always did. Yet, the academy did add a few more routines that he didn’t do before. “I’m not…”

“What? What are they feeding you over there?” She was engulfed in his new muscles. She started poking other places like his shoulders and even his abdomen. She was shocked, it seemed like. And he felt embarrassed by how much she was touching him.

He grabbed both her wrists and held her hands in his. “Hey, I just got back and you’re already giving me a physical examination?”

She shrugged, “I have to make sure you’re real. But speaking of that punishment for leaving your dear friend alone for so long…” She looked towards her group of friends, the one with Eric in who waved at him. They were waiting on the other end of the gate for her. “You’re gonna have to eat dinner alone, to suffer like I suffered.” She nodded, proud of coming up with the wording of her penalty.

His heart dropped and he pouted at her. “Really?”

She covered his eyes, “Don’t look at me with those! This is your fault for dropping by unannounced. My friends want to eat at the new BBQ place that just opened up. I’d say come with us, but they were really strict about the number since they’ve been packed the whole time.”

He was extremely sad to say the least. “Go home and make me a dessert. Make sure to pour your whole apologetic heart into it. Maybe I’ll forgive you then. Also, Gram won’t be home. It’s mahjong night.” She dropped her hands from his eyes, before covering her own after seeing it again. “Ugh, your puppy dog eyes are insane, Caleb. No wonder you always got your way. Not this time! I’ll see you at home.” She ran off the other direction before hustling her friends to get walking.

He was left alone by the gate. Watching her walk off with her friends and the guy she likes.

But at least he had a few minutes of pure bliss. And he hoped to make it up to her when she got home. He quickly gathered himself and went shopping for his heartfelt apology.

Grandma got home before she did. Caleb and her had a small chat about how the academy was treating him. And she let him in on how much she complained about him not being home, which made Caleb chuckle at the thought of seeing her annoy grandma about him. She had to go to sleep soon after since she had an extreme night of mahjong, according to her.

Caleb was in the kitchen finishing her cinnamon rolls. He was indecisive with what to bake her but there was a lot of cinnamon stocked up for the fall vibes. He kept glancing at his phone, to see if she messaged him back. She must have been too enthralled with her conversations to look at her own phone.

He tried to focus on the fact that she was having fun with ALL of her friends, and not at the idea that maybe she was sitting next to him at the restaurant. Where was Eric sitting really? Next to her? In front of her?

It was eating at him, but he didn’t want to spend his break time with her worrying about anything. He just wanted to enjoy his time with her.

He didn’t put his work into the oven yet because he wanted her to enjoy it fresh. He waited for her to text him back so he could pop them in. Yet, an hour passed by and then another with no answer.

He wanted to wait for her longer, but it was worrying him too much. Instead, he searched for any new restaurants that opened up on his phone to find out where she went. He found one that matched what she said and he instantly threw on his jacket.

Caleb walked to the door and opened it to find her and Eric. And it looked like they were both leaning into each to kiss before being interrupted by the living room light and him.

Chapter 5

“I should go inside now, bye Eric.” She said, flustered. She glances between Caleb and Eric.

Eric looked like he was a deer in the headlights, wide-eyed and embarrassed. “Yeah, okay. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He gave an awkward wave and acknowledged Caleb at the door.

Caleb who was red in the face. Eyes were darkened and his fists were clenched. His grip on the doorknob was deadly, and it was most likely molded by his fingers.

As Eric walked off quickly, Caleb finally closed the door. He didn’t slam it, but there was force to it. As if he really wanted to.

The mantra Caleb held onto was falling apart. The strength he thought he had emptied to the floor all in one go, rather than leaking out of him. What he thought was just a stupid crush was evolving right in front of him. Every day that he wasn’t with her, he was losing her to another. If he stayed with her, would he be the one to inch closer to her? Would she be so desperate to find warmth in someone else’s arms?

He stared at the door, stuck in his thoughts. Until her voice cut through the silence. “I’m going to take a shower…I smell like smoke from the restaurant.” She muttered. He could hear the awkwardness and panic.

Caleb couldn’t get a word out and let her walk off.

It wasn’t just a stupid crush. She liked him, and it was a no-brainer to him that he would return her feelings. He wanted to be grateful that he stopped them, but who or what was going to stop them next time? Was he going to drag her to Skyhaven with him just to keep her away from Eric? The dorms at the DAA didn’t allow visitors to stay overnight during weekdays.

Multiple options popped up in his head at record speed, all of which were futile. There was no stopping her from doing what she wanted to without ruining their own relationship. The only option was to hold himself back and endure this newfound relationship of hers day after day. He didn’t want to pray for the downfall of her relationship either, because that meant seeing her cry. But at the same time, he would rather let another guy make her cry. At least then, it would let Caleb be the shoulder to cry on.

He was disgusted by himself. The desperation became so evident. He wanted to be with her, wholeheartedly. And since he can’t have her, his deepest desire was that no one else can have her. He knew it was wrong.

So instead of acting on anything, he put his cinnamon rolls into the oven.

Instead of going out to kill the guy or blow up his house so they’d have to move…he decided to bake. Caleb knew the only reasonable route was to follow her route: let the tides take them to wherever. He’ll secretly pray it won’t work out. Every time she comes to him about something he did, he’ll push her to end things with him and focus on herself. He knew it was still a bad plan and wouldn’t be considered socially acceptable, but it was better than murder.

He looked at his reflection through the oven door. He looked crazy. A scowl looked like it’s lived on it for decades and his eyebrows were practically knitted together. He mirrored his inner emotions. Disgusted and upset. Disgusted by his lack of control and his lack of support for the one he loved. He rubbed his face in his hands, attempting to smooth everything out.

The DAA made them do breathing exercises in order to avoid panic when problems arise during flight. He thought he would never have to use them since he was practically fearless in the air. Instead, he’s used it to calm himself down from the multiple potentials of losing his world.

“Caleb?” He heard her behind him.

He didn’t know where he pulled the strength from, but in a flash, he was able to put on a normal face around her. A soft smile was always easier once he saw her face. Despite everything, his heart still beat for her. No matter how broken it might have been at that moment.

She was in her pajamas, her hair dripping on her shoulders, dampening the fabric. She extended a towel towards him, “Can you dry my hair like old times…?” She bit her lip, looking at the floor.

He took a few steps towards her, perplexed. “What’s wrong?” He brushed his thumb on her lip like usual to free it from her teeth. “If it’s because I ruined your moment…”

She looked up at him, panicked, “N-no! I just…I want you to dry my hair.” She shoved the towel into his hands before storming off to the floor of the living room of the couch and turning the TV on.

Caleb wished he could read minds. He was completely lost as to why she’s acting like this. The last time she asked him to dry her hair was when she didn’t receive any Valentine’s in her freshman year. He never told her, but he was to blame for that. He was in charge of the Valentine gram table that year (he volunteered) and he kept all the ones meant for her. He then returned it to the senders and basically threatened them to stay away from her.

The smell of baking cinnamon was permeating the air, he hoped it would calm down the tension. He’s glad it’s the dessert he chose. He learned from his mental health class that cinnamon was often used to lift spirits and improve moods. Yet he wondered if the mood was too heavy.

He walked over to the couch and sat behind her. She was looking for something to watch and paid no attention to him. He began drying her hair, moving from instinct. He covered the ends of her hair to scrunch out the water before moving towards her scalp. She leaned into his touch before letting out a sigh and it made his stomach coil. What was once such an innocent act became so intimate for him. And he wondered if this change was only for him.

She handed him one of her scalp oils to massage onto her. “My head hurts…can you put this on for me?”She finally settled on an old show that she’s seen multiple times.

Caleb didn’t really know much about her current hair care, but he just followed her instructions. He got pretty good at massaging whatever was needed between her and grandma. It’s just been a while since either of them have asked them to. As he mindlessly massaged her scalp, he tried to ignore the sighs of relief coming out of her and the small shivers.

It was quiet, minus the TV. Neither of them said a word. The timer from the oven then went off and he wiped his hands on her towel before getting up. He took his creation out of the oven before setting it on the countertop to add the finishing icings and letting it cool. “Just wait a few minutes before you can grab one, Pip.” He said.

Caleb then went back onto the couch at the same spot. She didn’t move and he didn’t want to make her. He started braiding her hair like before, trying different types that she made him learn before. Raking his fingers through her hair to start over before trying another one. The tension was too heavy, the air was awkward yet cinnamon scented. He wanted her all for himself and it was killing him.

“I’m kind of glad you found us…” She finally said, dropping her forehead to touch her knees. Her hair falling out of Caleb’s hands.

“Huh…” was all Caleb could say. “What do you mean, Pip?”

“I don’t know, I don’t think I wanted him to kiss me.” She sounded muffled, but the desperation to understand made Caleb hear her crystal clear. “I didn’t feel anything when we were close to each other.”

“I thought you liked him.” He said, unsure. He wasn’t trying to talk her out of how she felt, he just wanted to understand. Was he overreacting this whole time? Was he planning murder for nothing?

She suddenly stood up and faced him, looking down at him. “Can you just…sit there? Don’t move. Don’t say anything. Please.” She softly pleaded with him.

Caleb was frozen but he mustered a small nod.

She knelt down with one knee on the couch in-between his legs. And slowly leaned towards him, making full eye contact with him as she did so. Her breathing was uneasy and the warmth from face was radiating onto him.

Caleb couldn’t tell whose heartbeat he could hear. Both of theirs were so in-sync, it sounded deafening in the heavy air. His hands twitched at his sides. He didn’t have an idea of what she was doing. But he wanted to be greedy and close the distance himself. Yet, he stayed still for her.

She moved even closer to his face, the breaths mingling with each other. Her eyes moved from his to his lips, interchaging. Her breath hitched at the sight. His eyes bored into hers with desperation. And hers mimicked his. Before inching closer, she covered his mouth with her hand while the other clutched at her chest above her heart. She cursed under her breath before pulling away.

“I’m going to bed.” She quickly said before turning the TV off and quickly walking to her bedroom.

He heard her shut the door and it jarred him back to thought. His heart was hammering out of his chest.

He didn’t know how long he sat there, staring into space. Replaying the scene in his head over and over again.

The cinnamon rolls forgotten on the countertop.

Chapter 6

It rained that night, funnily enough for the two of them. The weather forecast had no prediction of any rainfall for the whole week, and the skies showed no signs of it either. It was as if that night wanted to mirror the emotions happening in the household between them.

Caleb was completely in the dark as to why she did what she did. There were multiple answers, but after being wrong so many times, he didn’t want to bring his hopes up or down. His head played back the scene over and over again that night. It felt like she mirrored the same desperation he had, for once. Like she wanted to go further.

He laid on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Occasionally his hands rubbed his face out of frustration. Caleb didn’t know how to move forward acting like she didn’t do what she did. They care about each other, but wasn’t she pushing him too far? There was only so much he could take. Physically, he could take a bullet, a grenade, an entire thing to protect her. But emotionally, she was his biggest weakness.

His thoughts were so loud, he didn’t notice the thunder that started rolling in the skies. The only thing that cut through his thoughts like usual was her voice.

At first, Caleb thought he was hallucinating her.

“Caleb…” Her voice calls out, muffled by the door. “Please…”

He rushed towards the door and when he opened it, she ran past him into his bed, under his navy blue covers.

Caleb realized it was because of the thunder. Except she was never this scared before. She normally came over with her headphones and laid next to him for extra comfort. This time, she was rattled and hiding.

He was about to get in bed when he remembered he developed a habit of sleeping shirtless. The weather in Skyhaven was more humid than Linkon, and it was just more comfortable for him to sleep without a shirt. He would also have nightmares when he missed home, and almost always woke up in a sweat. He quickly grabbed one from his closet to slip it on before laying next to her, atop of his covers.

His hand reached out to soothe her by patting her back, but everything was still fresh to his mind and his hand hesitated. He even kept his distance from her on the bed, afraid of scaring her away. As if she was a stray cat on the street, he waited for her to approach him before making a move.

Another loud boom in the sky and she let out a soft shriek before scooting closer to him, shaking.

His arm instinctively wrapped around her, protectively. “Hey…it’s okay. I’m here, Pipsqueak…” He said, resting his chin on the top of her head before pulling her closer to him. He softly chuckled, feeling her nuzzling deeper into his chest through the blanket. “I thought you said you weren’t afraid of thunder anymore. What else are you hiding from me…?” He meant to sound playful, but he meant it and he wanted to know. He needed to know what was in her brain.

She didn’t respond for a while. Her shivering soothed down the longer he rubbed circles on her back and shoulder, the longer she was in his arms. The thunder continued to rumble, mercilessly. “When I’m alone, it’s easier to deal with.” She said, pulling the cover down a little from her face to make sure her words were heard. Her warm breath hit his neck and he hoped she didn’t notice his shiver. “I don’t know why, but…when you’re here, I feel so vulnerable. Like I need you all of a sudden. As if I was just faking it while you were gone.” She covered her face again.

She NEEDED him. Caleb thought it was one of the most beautiful things she could ever say to him. He always wanted to be someone that she could rely on. He needed her to need him. That was his main purpose on this planet, he believed. As long as she needed him, he could keep going. The reason why her finding someone else scared him so much was because she wouldn’t need him anymore if she had someone else. Caleb found himself holding her even tighter, nuzzling his cheek on top of her covered head.

“Is that so bad…” He desperately wondered out loud. “What’s wrong with needing me?”

“Because you’re going your own path, Caleb. I can’t keep you locked up in this house, can I?” She said into his chest, probably hoping that he couldn’t hear her.

He did, though. And something about her saying that made his heart swell. He felt like he wasn’t alone with how he thought anymore. That although he had the craziest thoughts about her, he didn’t have to feel as guilty as having them because she thought them too. She just didn’t have as much trust in him. She’s deluded with the idea that something will come in-between them, when everything he does is for her. But at the same time, he believed the same thing. And even a whole part of him still believes that something CAN still take her away from him.

“You can be as greedy as you want to be,” was all Caleb could say. He waited for a response and felt her breathing at a rhythmic pace, asleep. He let out a sigh. Wishing he could keep talking to her, but at the same time was glad nonetheless. Happy that she was in his arms again. The light at the end of the tunnel flickering again, giving him hope. And soon, he fell asleep with her.

Caleb stirred awake from the vibration of his phone on the nightstand. His arms still wrapped around her. The alarm signified that she had to wake up for school. He kept the alarm on, even when he was at Skyhaven so he knew when to text her to have a good day. He found the curve of her shoulder before trying to softly shake her awake. “You have to get ready for class, Pipsqueak.” He quietly said.

Her face was out from under the sheets whilst the rest of her was wrapped up like a burrito.

Caleb couldn’t help but stare at her, slightly pulling away so he could get a better view. The sunrise casted a soft glow on her face if he moved at the right angle. And he was able to admire her even better. Her pink lips, slightly chapped from sleep. A drool stain on the corner of her mouth, and her dark circles were evident from a rough time sleeping. The word ‘beautiful’ echoed in his brain, over and over again.

The warmth and brightness of the sun was finally able to wake her up slowly. “Can I skip today…?” She mumbled, turning over, burying her face in the pillow.

He wanted to say no to her. It was always so hard for him to do so. Caleb knew that making her go to school would be the responsible thing. “Grandma wouldn’t allow that.” He said, avoiding blame.

“I’m 18 now, they don’t call guardians about absences when you’re 18.” She responded, matter-of-factly, lifting her head from the pillow so she was clear. “Besides, she’s going to the mountains today to visit her friend for the weekend.”

Caleb thought for a moment. A plan brewed in his head to get answers, a selfish plan. He wanted her to admit whatever she was doing the night before. He couldn’t get it out of her during the storm, but he felt confident this could have been the moment. But he wanted her to be more clear headed. “Wash up while I think about it. I’m going to make breakfast.” He poked her side, knowing she’d be ticklish, to wake her up.

She yelped and grumbled before unraveling herself from his sheets. “Fine.”

He noticed that she wouldn’t look at him. She avoided every means of eye contact, and he was doing the exact opposite. She was talking like normal, but he could see right through her. The tension from the previous night lingered. And whether it was regret or something else from what she did, it stuck with her.

Caleb felt lighter. She didn’t like Eric. She felt something for Caleb, but he couldn’t understand why she kept building a wall between them. He couldn’t fathom how oblivious she was that he was doing everything to mine his way past the wall. He wanted to bulldoze it, but he waited for her to make an opening first.

Her words of her needing him rung in his head, bringing a small smile to his face. He propped himself with one hand, and the other hand covered his mouth. Hiding the growing smile from no one, but he was just in shock. “I need you.” It replayed in his head a dozen times and he felt giddy. If a doctor could see everything playing in his brain, he would have been institutionalized. His heart swelled with her words. He needed to be needed by her. She was his life source and he wanted to be her pillar. If she moved on and found someone else to rely on, he’d crumble. And as strong as she may be, he didn’t doubt her skills or her smarts, he still wanted to be stronger and smarter so she could lean on him regardless. As wrong as it may have been, he wanted to be better because if he wasn’t, she wouldn’t need him.

After celebrating and battling his inner thoughts for a few more minutes, he got up to head to the kitchen to prepare breakfast.

It was a few minutes before she came out of the bathroom and plopped herself on a chair by the dining table. She was glued to her phone, eyebrows knitted, biting her lip.

He walked over with a plate of food for her. “What did I say about doing that?” He reached over to her to unlatch her lip, but she ever so slightly moved away from him. A miniscule but noticeable movement that made Caleb’s hand hover near her face before reeling it back.

“Sorry, I’m just kind of…” She dropped her phone on the table before grabbing a fork to eat. After taking a bite, she talked with her mouth full, “Can I please skip school, I don’t want to sit next to Eric today.”

Caleb gave in in an instant. Abandoning his plans of getting more answers from her. If staying home kept her away from the guy that tried kissing her the last night, he was agreeing to it. He sat across from her and gave her a reluctant yes. If wasn’t as attentive as he was, he would have missed the small twitch of her mouth, the corner turning upward for a split second.

They sat in silence, eating. Slightly uncomfortable as the tension lingered, but at the same time, slightly comfortable from being with each other at home.

The two of them finished eating quietly. He was still unused to the way she volunteered herself to clean up the table afterwards. After years of unfulfilled promises of doing the dishes the following night, she began doing it without even being asked. It was bittersweet but more bitter on Caleb’s tongue. He was gone for so long, she began being independent in certain aspects.

“Are we going to talk about last night?” Caleb finally mustered up the courage to ask from the table while her back was turned towards him. The sound of scrubbing plates halted.

“Do we have to?” She said, setting the plate down onto the sink. “Can’t you just let it happen?”

He hated hearing the pain in her voice, but he didn’t want to just ignore everything. “That’s not fair.” He stood up and strided towards her. Grabbing her arm and turning her to face him, her gaze stuck on the floor. “What were you testing…? Why won’t you tell me? Why won’t you let me in?” He knew his eyes were pouring desperation and longed to meet hers. His hand moved to her chin to tilt her head upwards to meet gazes. “Please?”

“It’ll change everything, Caleb. I can’t do it.” She pleaded with him.

“Change can be good, if you can just tell me. We can make whatever it is work.” His other hand let go of hers to wrap her face with his hands. “Won’t you trust me?”

They stood in the kitchen looking into each other’s eyes for what felt like an eternity. Both eyes mirrored the same desperation and pleading and uncertainty. She was the first to break it. She grabbed both of his hands to bring them down. “I’m not ready…can you just…can you wait for me?” Her eyes fell back to the floor, her hands fiddling with his trembling fingers.

Caleb thought that if there was a contest on who was more desperate, he was sure he’d win. But at this moment, she won by a mile. He pursed his lips and managed an understanding smile, not quite reaching his eyes but she wasn’t looking at him regardless. “I’ll always wait for you, Pipsqueak. I just hate feeling like I can’t help you.” He brought his hand back up to pat her head. “I hate seeing you like this and being unable to do anything.”

They could’ve stayed there for a bit longer until Caleb’s phone rang through the silence.

“Hello?” He answered without checking the Caller ID.

“Caleb, I know you’re in Linkon, but our project…the one due Monday. One of the parts fell apart during testing today. We need you back, as soon as possible.” It was Gideon, probably sounding the most desperate from the three. “I’d handle this myself, but to be honest, I don’t know how to. And you know how much we need this.”

Caleb pinched the bridge of his nose. “Why can’t we do it tomorrow?”

“We only have the testing site reserved for today. I tried moving it to Sunday…knowing where you are, but it’s fully booked with everyone else. Not a single room is open this weekend. I’ll pay for your cab here, just get here soon. Please, I’m not taking any other answer. Let me know what time to send the cab there.” And with that, Gideon hung up.

Caleb let out a curse under his breath, covering his face with his hands to hide his frustration.

“Y-you have to leave?” She said, her voice breaking.

His hands fell from his face to see her tearing up. He wondered if his heart shattering at the sight was audible. “Yeah…I’m sorry, Pipsqueak. Really I-” He tried defending himself but she pushed past him and ran to her room, slamming the door.

He texted Gideon a string of curses before giving a ready time of an hour. Caleb finished the dishes and left multiple notes on the fridge: a how-to-reheat-cinnamon-rolls, an apology note with a drawing of an apple on an airplane, and an ‘IOU amusement park trip’ coupon. He then grabbed his wallet from his room to pull out one of the many ‘forgiveness’ coupons she gave him when they were kids and slipped it under her door before taking a shower.

Once he was clean and packed up, he stopped by her door and knocked on it. “Can you at least see me out, Pipsqueak? I don’t want to leave like this.” He begged. Caleb waited for a few minutes before accepting defeat and walking away. He combed through his hair with his fingers, fully frustrated at the events that rolled out after wanting to spend as much time with her as he could.

As he walked through the front yard to head to the cab, he heard the door open behind him and saw her running up to him, crying. She wrapped her arms around his waist, making him stumble backward. Her cheek was pressed up against his chest, surely hearing his pounding heart. “I’m sorry for being such a coward, Caleb.”

He never understood how his confident voice seemed to get lost every time she was involved as she was. All he could do was stare at the top of her head and press his hand on her back.

They stayed like that for a minute before the cab honked their horn, and let go of him just as quickly, running back inside while wiping her tears with her arms.

A soft smile played on his lips as the realization of being closer to his dreams settled in his heart.

Chapter 7

“Why were you so hostile over the phone, did something happen?” Gideon pried while Caleb was tinkering angrily at the piece of metal that ruined his weekend. “You know it’s only Friday, you can still go back…if you finish that part.” Gideon looked over to Caleb ignoring him. “Or invite her here. I can stay with our pal, Patrick, and she can take my bed.”

“Really?” Caleb decidedly stopped ignoring him and looked towards Gideon. “Should I?”

Gideon’s hand tightened around the wrench he was holding, seemingly holding back from throwing it at him. “If you had a tail, it’d be wagging like a helicopter blade right now,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, really. Don’t even think about texting her yet until we finish here.”

Caleb could barely keep in his excitement as he worked on fixing his ticket to a better weekend. His leg happily bouncing on the work stool he sat on, he even found himself humming to a song.

“Now will you tell me what happened that warranted for me to learn three new curse words?” Gideon prodded.

“You’re so nosy.” Caleb snorted. “She said she didn’t like the guy anymore…kind of. In a way, she basically said she didn’t like him.” He kept the story short because he didn’t want to get too excited. And he didn’t want to overshare in fear of it turning out to be wrong or bringing his hopes too high. He was still in a headrush from the line “I need you.” And he wasn’t sure if he’d ever recover.

Gideon gave him an impressed look but didn’t ask for more. A reason why Caleb liked Gideon was because he was an observant guy. Nosy was a better word, but he would also know the right time and place to be nosy.

They continued to work silently and efficiently. Three hours passed by before their project was back to working.

Caleb practically flew out of the testing sites to grab his phone to call her. After three rings, she picked up.

“Caleb?” She answered, confused.

The confidence drained out of Caleb. He was just with her that morning and they even slept in the same bed the previous night, but when he heard her voice again, he felt like a middle school boy talking to his crush for the first time. “H-hey.”

“Hi…” She replied, with the same shyness and a hint of confusion. “Did you…need something?”

“Do you want to come visit me? Here in Skyhaven?” He asked, full of hope. The last time she was at Skyhaven was for the tours before school started, and that was with Grandma.

“Next weekend? I don’t think I can.” She replied, a little sad.

“No, right now…I can talk to Grandma and then send you a cab.” He excitedly said. “Bring some clothes, my roommate will sleep at a friend’s so you can sleep over in my dorm.”

“Just us two?” She asked, her question lined with disbelief.

“We’ve shared a bedroom before, Pipsqueak. Why are you so surprised?” Caleb cocked his head to the side with confusion, until the realization settled in. “Oh, I guess it’s kind of different…” Since they were usually in the home they shared with Grandma, and this time they would be truthfully alone. An awkward situation for a pair that had obvious feelings for each other. “If you want, I can also sleep in a different room, and you can have the dorm to yourself. I just want to spend time with you.” Caleb recovered, hoping she wouldn’t decline.

“I don’t want you to go somewhere else…I was just flustered a little. Don’t worry about it. I’d love to come.” She said after a few seconds. “I’ll let Gran know, too. I’m gonna get ready then. See you soon, Caleb.”

“See you, Pipsqueak.” He could barely squeeze out. Something about the way she said his name left him speechless. She rarely used his name if it wasn’t to greet him or to call him. The excitement filled him to the brim and he ran back to his dorm to clean.

He wasn’t a messy person, but Gideon wasn’t a super neat person. And he wasn’t going to let her sleep on some other guy’s sheets, even if it was just Gideon’s.

“Do I get to meet her?” Gideon asked while Caleb was wiping every surface and vacuuming every inch of the floor.

“If you throw your sheets in the wash, I’ll think about it.” Caleb responded.

“Did you tell her that you told everyone you have a girlfriend back home that’s basically just her?” Gideon reminded him.

Caleb stopped in his tracks. Another wave of realization. When he first got to the DAA, he was bombarded by affection from many of his classmates. Although he was used to this attention from high school, it was a lot harder to work with at the academy. He was a lot busier and they were a lot more persistent. Rejecting them was getting more tedious for him since many of them asked for an explanation. When he first went back home to visit, he snagged one of her many hairties from her desk, the frilliest one, and wore it around campus. He read from a college forum that many boyfriends used this method to deter other people from flirting with him. Unfortunately for Caleb, word got around that he came back to the academy with a new status. Many of them asked about his girlfriend and he found it a lot easier to talk about the girl back home than rejecting girls left and right. He ended up going along with the story of having a girlfriend in Linkon and it significantly kept him unbothered.

Caleb cursed under his breath. “Surely no one will…”

“They will.” Gideon finished his thought. “Not everyone goes home for the weekend, why do you think I’m here? Someone will definitely stop you and ask about her.” He compiled his sheets and began walking out of the room. “I’ll be back to grab my stuff…Don’t explode trying to think of a solution.”

Caleb sat on a chair trying to figure out what to do. There was no way she wouldn’t be weirded out by him for doing this, but at the same time, she could be a very understanding person. Whichever her reaction would be, the only choice he really had was to come clean. He internally cursed at himself. The entire time he pretended she was his girlfriend to everyone at the academy didn’t feel like a lie to him. Mainly because he WAS rejecting everyone for her. The title was the only lie.

His phone buzzed on the table to find a message from her: “be there in 10 mins…i think. can u pick me up from the entrance?”

He was filled with multiple emotions. Excitement of spending the weekend with her, like planned. Anxiety and guilt with having to tell her what he’s been doing. And extreme anxiety and longing from being completely in love with her.

He took a moment to recuperate his thoughts before finishing his cleaning. He even changed the sheets on Gideon’s bed and set his bag by the door for easy access. After a few more finishing touches to the place, he grabbed his keys and headed out.

He jogged to the front of the academy, excited. Somehow the trees in Skyhaven became greener despite it being autumn, nearing winter. The air became less humid, and the atmosphere seemed brighter to him. His anxious feeling lingered, but the previous disappointment of leaving her was forgotten and the giddiness of spending the weekend together took over.

As he got closer to the gates, he saw the cab stop and her step out. She was dressed in a long flowy beige skirt with an olive green oversized cardigan. Her long hair spilled over her shoulder as she got out of the car, and the sun hit her perfectly. Caleb thought that even if she was in her pajamas, his mouth would still salivate at the sight. Something about her being on the same ground that he’s been trapped in for the past few weeks and the next few years made him feel elated. He was also in a pit of sorrow a couple of hours ago on the cab back to the academy. The image of her crying when she realized he had to leave was etched into his brain and it clawed him from the inside out. But at that moment, it was so easily erased with the new face he saw of her making eye contact with him at the gates of the school.

“Caleb!” She waved at him with a wide grin. She shut the car door and walked towards his direction.

He slowed down his speed as he got closer and scooped her up into his arms when they made contact. A bubbly laugh left her and tickled his ear and he spun her. He held her for a few seconds before dropping her back to her feet. He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear before holding her face lovingly. “Hey.”

Her face was slow;y turning a pink hue. “Hi…you’re acting like we weren’t just together in the morning.” She attempted to pry his hands away from her face.

He pulled her into another hug, “I know. I just thought I wasn’t going to see you again for another month, let me enjoy this.” He rested his chin on her head and felt her arms wrap around his waist. “I was also hoping that me being this affectionate will help lessen the anger that might come from what I am about to tell you in a few seconds.”

She stiffened under his arms. She tried to push him off, but he kept her pressed against his chest. His heart racing from the contact and from freaking out about his confession.

“Remember the hairtie you lost.” He started. He peeled her off his chest and looked at her confused face before walking her to a bench under a tree and sitting her down. He then knelt in front of her before continuing his story. “I stole it to wear around campus so people would think I had a girlfriend and they would stop bothering me.” He fled through his words hoping she wouldn’t focus on details. “Except they were more curious than I thought and kept asking about my ‘girlfriend’ so I just pretended it was…” He looked down at the floor as he finished. “You.”

“Huh? Me? And you stole my scrunchie?” She held her chin with her hand, contemplating the details.

Caleb pulled his DAA jacket sleeve up to reveal the hair tie on his wrist. “I heard it keeps girls away from you…” He sheepishly explained.

She gave him a grumpy face, which was then replaced with a puzzled look. “Why me…? Couldn’t you just have a fake girl in mind.”

He shrugged. He could have just outright said how deeply in love he was with her and he was just manifesting the situation that she would be his girlfriend. Or maybe that he was taking notes from all the dramas she watched back then where they would fake-date and then end up actually dating in the end. There were multiple things he thought he could have said. “You were the only girl I could think of. And you were all I could really talk about…” He ended up saying.

Her breath hitched slightly and her face turned red before looking away from him. “You’re saying weird things…” She chewed on her lip.

Caleb got up and grabbed her face again, his thumb tapping on her lip like usual. “Are you mad?”

She took a second to think, her cheeks warm on Caleb’s hands. She grabbed his wrists and pulled them down and held it in front of her before shaking her head. “I don’t think so…A little about my scrunchie,” She looked at him and softly smiled at him, “I don’t really mind your plan.”

Her smile made him want to lift her up in the air and give her a big confessional greedy kiss. He held himself back instead and returned the smile. “Great because we are definitely going to be stopped by multiple people at the dorms. So get ready.” He held his hand out to her. “We have to play the part. Let’s drop your stuff off and then I’ll take you to a bakery nearby.”

She hesitated slightly before standing up. Her hand taking his, intertwining her fingers with his. He thought they fit together like puzzle pieces, perfectly. Caleb was slightly worried that his hand would sweat profusely from the nervousness he was feeling.

A sort of sadness settled in his heart. That he was holding her hand so intimately under false pretenses. They held hands before, but it was never with interlocked fingers. She was the one who told him that only couples would hold hands that way. And he was always waiting for that transition in their relationship.

“Are you going to show me around later?” She asked. It was a bit of a silent walk as Caleb sulked about faking holding hands.

“Weren’t you with me on the DAA tour, Pipsqueak?” He cocked his eyebrow at her.

She rolled her eyes at him and pinched his arm. “Yeah, but now I want the tour from the hotshot freshman that’s stayed here for weeks on end instead of coming home.” She pouted at him.

“Yeah, yeah. This hotshot will give you a more personal tour.” He laughed, the sound reverberating through his chest. He felt warm and comfortable with her.

They walked through the paths of the academy, hand in hand. The previous night and morning’s quarrels seem to be forgotten. Not in Caleb’s mind, completely. Only repressed for him to over analyze again at some point. But at that moment, he was worry-free.

“I’m glad you’re here, Pipsqueak,” he softly said to her.

She let go of his hand and wrapped her arms around his arm. “Me too, Caleb.”

As they reached a more crowded part of campus, murmurs could be heard. Whispers of rumors and exclamations floated all around them. As more people looked, the tighter her grip on him became. “You’re really popular…” She mumbled.

“I think you’re the star of the show, this time.” Caleb had some sort of pride inflating inside of his chest. Even if it was pretend at that moment, he was able to claim the prettiest woman in his eyes as his to everyone around him. He was proud of everyone looking at her that she was clung to his arm. He tried fighting the smile that threatened to erupt from his face out of fear of her detecting how much he enjoyed what was happening.

“They’re all looking at us.” She glanced desperately up towards him.

He confidently smiled back. “They’re curious as to who managed to steal the cold-hearted wannabe pilot’s heart, Pip. I was brutally rejecting everyone.” He lied. Although he didn’t really care for anyone who paid him any attention, he never wanted to be an asshole either.

He was met with another eyeroll. “As if. You couldn’t even hurt a fly.”

Caleb laughed at her internally. She was oblivious. Caleb recalled the intricate plans he had the day before to get rid of Eric. There was also the time he locked her in the attic to fight some bullies in their neighborhood. He was glad that she could only see the nice side of him.

A classmate of his walked up to them, “Woah, Caleb! Is this the girlfriend you were talking about?” His attention towards her, “Some of us thought he was lying to get out of going to parties. He said you were a clingy one. I guess he was telling the truth after all!” He laughed.

Caleb choked out an awkward laugh. “Clingy girlfriends are a brag, you know.” He looked towards her, fearing that she would feel awkward and put on the spot.

Her grip on him tightened and she looked up at him with puppy eyes, mimicking the ones he gave her when he whined. “Have I been taking your time away from your friends?”

The classmate was the one to answer, “Oh, don’t mind us! Since you’re real, we’ll just sulk in jealousy instead. We were worried he was just brushing us off. Hope you guys have a good day!” He ran off to tell the rest of his classmates.

“Hm, what else do you say about me?” She dropped his arm to enter another pondering pose.

Caleb scoffed, “Besides being my girlfriend, everything I say about you is very truthful.” He wasn’t lying, he would just prefer not to repeat all the lovey-dovey things he’s said about her. Someone once asked what she looked like and he went on a whole ramble about how her eyes sparkled.

A familiar face was walking nearby, the one that made nasty comments about the photo of her on Caleb’s phone. Caleb’s jaw tightened as his arm snaked around her waist and guided her to keep walking.

“What’s wrong?” She shivered from his new hold.

“I don’t like some people, just keep walking. We’re almost to the dorm.” His grip on her was stiff, but he tried to be gentle. “Don’t walk around campus alone at any time, okay? Skyhaven isn’t as safe as Linkon.”

“You’re kind of scary sometimes. Maybe you would hurt a fly if they were mean first, huh?” She noted. “But alright, I wasn’t planning on leaving your side anyways.”

The ice grip on his heart melted in seconds as she said that, a blush creeping up his neck onto his ears.

They finally made it to the dorm and saw Gideon outside the door. “Ugh, finally. I forgot my key and you took forever to get back.” He got up from the floor and his eyes lit up seeing the girl on Caleb’s arm. “Woah! It’s you! Nice to meet you!” He extended his hand out for a handshake. “Caleb quite literally never shuts up about you. I think you’ve seen me in the background of some of your guys’ calls. I’m Gideon, his roommate.”

She giggled and took his hand. “Hi! Caleb’s mentioned you too. I hope he hasn’t said anything too bad about me. He talks badly about you all the time.” She joked.

Gideon punched Caleb playfully. “Ass.”

Caleb took his key out to open the door and let the two of them in.

“Thank you again for letting me sleep here.” She said to Gideon.

“After what happened this morning, I don’t think he was going to let me sleep in here anyways. Better put it to good use if it’s not me. I’m gonna head out now. Maybe we can all have dinner together before whenever you leave!” Gideon said packing some more essentials before grabbing his bag and leaving.

“Your roommate’s cute.” She said, plopping onto his bed.

Caleb’s whole body stiffened.

“In a kind of dumb way, he seems funny though.” She laughed, signifying a lack of attraction.

And then he relaxed. “Don’t call my roommate cute, that’s gross. And you’re supposed to be my girlfriend when you’re here, Pip. What if someone heard you?” He looked at her with an accusatory glare.

Her mouth fell open and then closed, as if she took back what she was going to say. Her face dropped a bit.

“What’s wrong?” Caleb asked, walking towards her before kneeling beside the bed to rest his hand atop of hers. “Did I say something wrong?”

She sat up and looked at their hands touching. “I’m all for being your…’girlfriend,’” she made air quotes as she said it, slipping away from his hand. “But…how is it so easy for you to joke about it? Is it that funny?” She bit her lip, looking at him with desperation in her eyes.

“I…” Caleb was at a loss for words. It wasn’t easy for him at all, but he wanted to play it off as something playful so she wouldn’t feel too uncomfortable. “If I showed you how hard it was, I’d scare you away.” He knew that if he showed his feelings for her first, he wouldn’t know if she would be ready yet and he'd spook her.

There was a moment of silence between the two. The tension from the previous night seeped back, and the previously airy and open space became hard to breathe in. She took his face into her hands. “Are you suffering as much as I am, Caleb?” Her head tilted, questioning him. “Am I really the reason why you won’t date anyone here?” Her thumb caressed his cheek and her fingers lightly touched his warm red ears.

His face felt like it was on fire and was electrified where she held him. He pursed his lips, suddenly terrified. He nodded slightly, fearing that his voice would crack if he tried to answer.

She slowly leaned forward, inching further and further to close the distance. It wasn’t like the night before. Her eyes were filled with desperation once again, but none of the hesitation was present. And was instead replaced with yearning and fire. “Do you…like me, Caleb?” Her breath was hot against his lips.

Another weak nod was all he could muster. He wanted to close the gap so badly, his arms were taut with holding himself back. But he waited for her to make the move.

“Can I…” She looked at his lips and then back at his eyes.

That counted for him. That was her first move, and he finally crashed his lips onto hers.

Chapter 8

Caleb felt like his heart exploded the moment his lips met with hers. Once he saw her eyes flutter close, he took it as a sign of her erasing the invisible line she created between them. Their lips moved against each other, awkwardly at first, but neither of them seemed to care. There was raw passion and desire in their touches, but Caleb had evident hunger for her the way he swallowed every breath and sigh she let out. He thought her lips were soft and warm, and wanted to explore even further.

He pulled away slightly, his eyes glazed with desperate intent. “Can you…open your mouth a little more, please.” He pushed himself up from the ground and set his knee on the bed, straddling her partially. The position made her push herself up further into the bed. Her eyes looked for his and she nodded before Caleb dived in again. His tongue pushing past hers and exploring her, trying to remember and map every inch. Caleb fully got on top of her and pulled away to rest his forehead on hers. Both were out of breath as he said, “If this is a dream, please don’t wake me up.” In complete disbelief of their position, his eyes were blown out as he looked down at her. The same expression painted her face, as she reached up at him to trace his features with her fingers. Caleb caught her hand and nuzzled his nose into it, “I would have waited for centuries for you…I just think I would have exploded doing so.”

Her eyes started to water and she pushed his shoulder to switch positions. It was his turn to lay flat on the bed, with her on top of him. She straddled him and cupped his face again. “I’m terrified of losing you, Caleb. I thought it would have been better if we just stayed how we did…but it was hard to imagine if you…did this with anyone else.” She slipped off her oversized cardigan, revealing only a thin tank top underneath, with nothing else. The sight alone made Caleb feel dizzy.

Yet, Caleb found the strength to sit up, closing the distance between the two of them again. He guided her arms to wrap around his neck. The soft caress of his fingers on her arms made her shiver and he kissed her again, with more fervor, tilting his head to get a better angle. He wanted her to stop worrying and be in the moment with him. He had the exact same worries and he knew how deep the pit was in his chest all those years. Yet, at this moment, it felt like it was full again. Caleb put a hand on the small of her back, pushing her even closer to him before he pulled away from her but kept their noses touching. “I could never be with anyone that wasn’t you…you’re the one who tried replacing me, Pipsqueak. I thought I was gonna kill someone…” He captured her lips again as tears fell from her eyes. In between kisses, he said, “Was I not…enough…for you?” He moved from her lips, to her cheeks, catching every tear that spilled from her eyes.

“I thought it would help me move on and let you be happy with anyone you met here.” She mumbled, burying her head in the nook of his neck. “I thought he was enough like you, but I knew it’d never be enough.” Her arms tightened around him. “What if we don’t work out?”

His chest tightened as he peeled her off of him in order to look her in the eyes. “I’d do anything for you, you know that, right? Are you scared I won’t be good enough or are you scared you don’t like me enough…?”

She shook her head, pouting. “What if you meet some-”

He stopped her with another kiss. “I could never love anyone else…please trust me.” He begged. Peppering kisses down her jaw and neck. He knew he was risking it by saying the word “love.” But he wanted to be open to her. He wanted to assure her that she was the only thing on his mind and in his future.

Her face turned red and her eyes had fire behind them. Half-lidded, she grabbed his face again and surged forward for a deep, fiery kiss. As if his words lit something inside of her. She pushed him down and situated herself more comfortably on top of him.

The movements on top of Caleb made his pants tighten. His face turned redder from her actions, and everything felt hot. He wanted to lift her away from his lap so she couldn’t feel what was stirring in his pants, but she grabbed his hands and guided it to move under her skirt. His fingers caressing her bare calves, hiking up her long skirt further and further until his hands rested on her warm thighs. His eyes shot open as he realized the only fabrics separating the two of them was their underwear and his pants. Her fingers played with the waistband of his pants, and he thought he was going to pass out

She rolled her hips onto the growing heat of his pants, and he pathetically whined into her mouth. It took everything in him to stop her hips from moving even more. “Pips, please.” Caleb thought he could have finished in his pants the moment he saw the desperation and want in her face. When he stopped her, a look of hurt replaced it.

“You don’t want…” She started to say, worried.

He threw his head back and covered his eyes with his elbow. “I do, gods, I want you so bad.” His hips jerked upward, accidentally or by instinct he thought. Another whine left his lips and a soft moan left hers, making his pants even hotter and tighter. “I just don’t want our first time to be like this,” he managed a chuckle through his tight throat. “I haven’t even taken you out on a date yet. And you haven’t even said you’d be mine…” He dropped his hand and sat back up. She squirmed in his lap, looking for friction and he held his breath before saying more, gripping on her hips to keep her from moving. “So…will you? Be mine?” He looked at her, his eyes piercing into her glazed eyes until he could see her regain clarity from the same head rush he was experiencing.

She leaned her forehead to rest onto his, her hips restless and relentless against his hands. “Only if you’re mine and only mine, Caleb.” A small moan escaped her lips and Caleb took no time to swallow it with a kiss. She pulled back after a bit to say, “Plan the date then, Caleb. I’ve been waiting for so long, it’s getting harder to hold back.” Pleading into another kiss, her hips moving stronger against the growth in his pants.

He couldn’t tell who was at fault at the growing dampness of his pants, if it was her or his own doing. Or a combination of the two of them. It made him light headed as he gave in, moving against her own hips. His arms wrapped around her waist, pushing him to move stronger against him. Caleb whined into another kiss, exploring further and deeper into her mouth. Their tongues fought against who got to explore who, but she moved even stronger against his warmth, making him gasp against her. “I…” He tried to tell her that he wasn’t going to last any longer. The sounds coming out of her, her lips against his, and her body against his body was driving him insane. Even though there were as many layers as there was against them, it still felt better than when Caleb released the pressure himself. It felt like heaven to him already, if he imagined how it was to be inside of her, he would have definitely made a mess on the spot.

“Caleb, can you…” She moaned against his lips, breathing heavily. Her fingers trailed down his face, neck, chest, stomach. Down in between her legs, playing with the button on his jeans. “Take these off, I just…I just want to feel closer to you.” She pulled back and moved herself to sit on his thighs. “We won’t go all the way, I promise. Just please, let me feel you a little more. I need you.”

The three words ignited something inside Caleb. He lifted her with an arm underneath her bottom, flipping her back swiftly onto the bed, earning a yelp from her. He pushed her skirt fully upwards to expose her underwear and airing the obvious dampness and excitement. His eyes were half-lidded, staring down at her. Any sign of fear or hesitation melted away from the three words, and they were replaced with extreme yearning and desire. Caleb unbuttoned his pants and swiftly peeled them off, without breaking eye contact, leaving him in his boxers. He quickly laid back on top of her, slotting himself in-between her legs. The two moaned into each other’s mouths, as he grinded into her with even more strength. His pace quickened as her moans and whines got even louder. The bed creaking louder underneath them. “I never thought…I’d be able to have you like this.” He moaned into her neck.

“Me neither…oh god.” She brought her hand up to her mouth to stifle her own sounds, but Caleb quickly grabbed her wrist and pinned it beside her head.

“Don’t…please. If I don’t hear you, I’m going to think this really is just a dream. Please.” He begged into her neck, leaving marks as she squirmed underneath him. “I’m so close.” He let go of her wrist, moving it down to hook under her waist to lift her up at an angle, so she would be more exposed to him. His right arm keeps his weight from crushing her.

She nodded, “Me too, Caleb. Please don’t stop.” She grabbed his face and pulled it away from her neck to pull him towards another kiss. A messy and uncoordinated kiss, matching the same uncoordinated thrusts that Caleb was putting out as he slowly lost more and more control. Their uneven breaths and moans entangled with each other as they shared the same air while chasing the same high.

He felt her shiver and tense up underneath him as she came undone, and he spilled into his own garments, tears pricking his eyes as he was hit with multiple shockwaves of his orgasm and he cried. He tried to keep up his own weight to avoid crushing her, as he rested his head in the crook of her neck, hiccuping into it. He didn’t know why he cried at first, until the fog of sex slightly cleared, leaving him in a state of immense jubilation. He didn’t know it was possible for him to cry tears of happiness until that moment where he cried from the pure ecstasy he felt. He stayed hiding his face, because he felt embarrassed that the first time they participated in a sexual act, he ended up crying.

She softly twitched underneath him, recovering from her own high. She pushed him softly off of her, “Caleb, are you crying?” A hint of worry was in her breathless voice, as she sat up to look at him, still twitching every now and then.

Caleb lied on his back, covering his eyes with his elbow once again, as tears fell from his eyes. “Don’t laugh…” he said in between hiccups. He reached out to one of her hands, intertwining their fingers together before putting it to his lips, kissing her knuckles. “I’ve never done anything like this before and being able to experience something like this with you…is overwhelming me…in a good way. I just can’t seem to stop.”

She giggled softly, making Caleb peek at her to pout. “I said, don’t laugh.” He sniffled into her hand before she unraveled their fingers and leaned over to kiss his cheek.

“Seeing you like this…makes me feel more confident that it wasn’t as one-sided as I thought.” She smiled before kissing his lips, a small meaningful peck. Her hands wiping the tears from his cheeks. “I almost thought you were crying because you regretted it.”

“Your trust in me seriously needs some work, Pip.” He calmly said, holding her hand that rested on his cheek. “You’re insane if you seriously thought that.” His hand moved up to the back of her neck, pulling her down for another kiss.

Then the door burst open with Gideon walking in, looking down at his phone. “Hey sorry, I left my–” He stopped as he looked up to see the two of them on his bed. Although she may have looked somewhat normal despite her blown up pupils and messy hair, Caleb was lying down in his boxers. A rather evident crime scene. “Guys. On my bed?!” He scoffed, close to yelling. “As happy as I am that Caleb grew a pair. He has his own bed like six feet away.” He turned around with his hands on his head, in disbelief. “You know what…keep that mattress. Keep the sheets. I’m going to beg Patrick to let me move in.” He turned back around and left through the open doorway, slamming the door shut.

“We can deal with that later.” Caleb said, continuing what he was doing before Gideon interrupted them. And she leaned down, giggling into another kiss. As embarrassing as it was, he couldn’t care less because he was able to finally call her, his.

Chapter 9

After a shower and a change of clothes, Caleb decided to switch beds with Gideon. He gave him a video call while she was in the shower to apologize. He wanted her to wash up first, but the mess in his boxers was a lot more unmanageable.

“You’re lucky Patrick won’t let me move in here…” Gideon grumbled. It was his turn to be upset at Caleb after that morning’s cold shoulder. A slight glint in Gideon’s eyes showed extreme interest in the current situation. “So…I’m assuming things are great.” And then as if remembering the reason for the call, he gruffed and rolled his eyes. “I mean, it better be if it was worth violating my bed.”

Caleb sat on his desk, propping his phone up to talk to Gideon hands-free. He took a quick glance at the room’s bathroom to check if the water was still running. He then looked back towards the phone and smiled. “Dude.” The events that happened just a few minutes before replayed in his mind and he buried his face in his hands, hiding the smile that was growing from ear-to-ear.

“Dude.” Gideon replied. The one-word exchange held a thousand words for the two.

Caleb dragged his hands down to make his eyes visible. “Am I dreaming?” He asked, slightly muffled.

“I’ll go over and beat the crap out of you, right now, and that’ll let you know if you are. I’m still upset, I’m hanging up…but I’m happy for you. Be safe. And stay OFF of my bed.” A genuine smile before annoyance flashed through his face before hanging up.

Caleb got up to lay on his bed to stare at the ceiling, giddy with the scenes replaying in his head. Every sound and word being manually ingrained into every crevice of his brain. It was making it hard for him to imagine having to go weeks without her, and it was also making him hard again. It was a lot easier to control before. Fueled by fear of being caught, he somehow managed to hide any hints of arousal around her. Now that he’s experienced bliss, it’s as if it has a mind of its own now. It was as if she held the key to every emotion, and she finally opened his heart to feel everything clearly. A weight was physically lifted off his shoulder and he just splayed out on the bed and let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in.

She stepped out of the bathroom a few moments after and he propped himself up with his elbow to look at her. She was dressed in a simple attire of baggy jeans and a cropped tank top that hugged every curve on her upper body. Caleb felt like someone knocked the air out of his lungs as he studied her.

She stopped in her tracks on her way towards him as he saw her reation. Cocking her head to the side and crossing her arms, “You’re acting like you’ve never seen me wear this before…you bought this for me, too.” She tuts at him before walking over and throwing a small towel at him. “Dry my hair.” She basically commanded him, sitting on the floor beside the bed.

He HAD seen her wear the outfit multiple times, and he was the one who chose the color since she insisted on getting the top despite it being too short in his opinion. Yet, there was an aura to her that screamed ‘I like Caleb!’ The change of their relationship made her glow a million times more than before, and he wondered if he needed to start wearing his aviator glasses around her now. “You took the space out of ‘girl’ and ‘friend’, and now I’m forever shocked by your presence, Pips. If it’s a crime to find your girlfriend breathtaking, then lock me up, officer.” He teased her.

She groaned before turning her head to look back at him, “You’re so chee-”

He cut her off by leaning forward and running his fingers through the back of her head and pushing her towards him for another kiss. She softly moaned into it and automatically opened her mouth to him, making Caleb smirk against her lips before pulling away. She looked surprised and dazed when he did so, before giving him a pout. “I thought you wanted me to dry your hair. Turn around.” He said, feigning innocence.

She looked like she was about to say something before turning around, grumbling.

He took the towel from his lap and started scrunching her wet hair with it. He felt water droplets on her neck so he took a corner to wipe them off, his pinky caressing the tip of her ear, causing her to shiver. Whether he did it on accident or on purpose was all up to Caleb.

His phone started ringing on his desk and she quickly got up.

“Can you go check who it is? Grab the hairbrush while you’re up over there.” Caleb said to her, lying back down.

“It’s Gideon.” She said, grabbing his phone and the brush before going back to him. Instead of sitting back on the floor, she climbed on top of him and laid her head on his chest, handing him the two objects.

He grabbed his phone while letting the hairbrush fall to his side, and his other arm held her still against his chest while he answered, putting him on speaker. “Hey, you’re on speaker.”

“I forgot to tell you that the shooting club’s event is at the range tonight. They’re holding a competition for the most points shot, and I heard prizes include a romantic dinner.” Gideon chuckled. “They also include that one video game I really want, if someone wanted to make it up to me that I found them doing sinful things on my bed…but whatever.” Caleb could almost hear him roll his eyes.

He looked down to find her eyes and saw them staring at his phone, lit up. “Can I join? Can I shoot too?” She asked, grabbing the phone from him.

“Oh right, I heard you wanted to be a Hunter. Yeah, you just need to pay the off-campus fee, but you can enter the competition too. Try and win me the game, and I’ll consider letting Caleb go home on the weekends.” Gideon said. “You know I’m his partner for everything, if I slack off…a certain someone will have to stay on campus longer to work on our assignments twice as hard.”

She rolled off of Caleb and lied beside him, gasping. “You’re mean!”

“You did stuff on my bed! I don’t wanna hear it, missy! I’ll see you both later!” He hung up.

She threw the phone onto his chest and flipped onto her belly. “That’s so embarrassing! He’s never letting it go!” She screamed, muffled by the pillow.

Caleb laughed at her before getting on his side to play with her hair. Grabbing the hairbrush to run through it, he asked, “You still want to go to the shooting range later?” He ran the brush through her hair. He wqs hoping he could take her out to somewhere romantic, right at that moment, but winning a more expensive date sounded fun for him too. Seeing her eyes light up was also a big motivation for him. Although he thought she was more excited about shooting guns than going out with him. “Are you trying to get experience shooting before the academy?”

She pushed herself up from the pillow before facing her body towards him, taking the hairbrush from him and setting it down. “Can we? It sounds cool…I never fired one before. Except for that toy gun you got me a couple years ago. Remember how we were shooting apples and soda cans.” She reached out to pinch his cheek. “I was always so much better than you.” She giggled, scooting over to him to wrap her arms around his chest and nuzzling into it.

Caleb scoffed, “Yeah sure, you were the perfect shot. Let’s see how you handle recoil later.” He rolled his eyes, patting her head. He hoped she couldn’t hear his heart at that moment. The idea that they could do this mundane couple move was making him ecstatic. “The event’s in two hours, do you still want to go to the cafe?”

She shook her head, “I want to stay like this for a bit.”

“Alright, Pipsqueak. Whatever you want.” He placed a kiss on the top of her head as he held her tighter against him. “Are you gonna nap?” His voice lowers. His hand rubbing circles on her back while the other plays with her hair.

She moves back slightly to rest her chin on his chest to be able to look up at him. The adjustment made him move a bit back so he could look at her also. A comfortable silence took over as they stared into each other’s eyes.

Caleb took the hand that was playing with her hair to brush away the hair on her forehead. Then he planted a soft kiss onto it, lingering for a moment. When he pulled away, her eyes fluttered open to look at him again. “How long were you going to make me wait for you?”

She pursed her lips and then shimmied her hands free from around him before cupping his cheeks. “How long would you have waited?” Her eyes falling from his and landing on his lips.

“Forever.” He scooted back so he could take his hand and place it under her chin to force her to make eye contact with him again. “I thought I was going to kill someone when you told me you liked someone.” She winced at her decisions previously, biting her lip. Caleb tuts. “You need to fix this habit of yours, Pip.” His thumb pulls down her bottom lip free from her teeth before swooping into a kiss. He held her tight against him, afraid that she’d float away somehow. Her hands moved from his face to around his neck, her right hand running through his hair, sending a shiver down his spine.

“I’m glad you guys made it!” Gideon ran over to them through the sea of other club members.

The two of them walked into the shooting range hand in hand. Caleb made her wear his DAA hoodie since he knew the shooting club was mainly men. And as much as he wanted her to be free to do whatever she wanted, he didn’t trust himself to NOT knock someone out if they looked at her incorrectly. She provided no resistance, regardless.

The shooting club held shooting events every other week. Caleb and Gideon weren’t official members due to time constraints of their general meetings, but it was open to the public. Gun safety and training was part of the DAA curriculum, so it was good for the two to join in. To Caleb’s knowledge, this would be her first time shooting a real gun, though. They used to shoot wooden pellet guns before, as well as air rifles, but never real ones.

“Just register over there. Quick! They’re gonna start soon.” Gideon ushered them to the counter.

“You ready to shoot a real gun, Pipsqueak?” Caleb guided her with a hand on the small of her back through the crowd. “Keep in mind what I taught you on how to hold it.”

She nodded, giddy. “I can’t wait, let’s go!” She grabbed his wrist and made him walk faster.

As soon as they paid and got set up, Caleb went first so she could watch him. The contest consisted of five shots in total. The bullseye was ten points and each ring after, one point less. Much like the rules of archery. Caleb wasn’t an amazing shooter, by any means. But he was an above-average shot. Despite having the same experience as her, he was able to learn quickly on how to be precise and steady. This landed him with two bullseye shots and others close to it. One shot was a bit far off since he heard her laugh loudly behind him from what he assumed was a joke made by Gideon. He couldn’t tell if he was just entranced by her happiness or jealous that someone else made her laugh. Regardless, he lost his focus. This landed him with forty-one points.

He went back to her and she gave him a quick hug to lean into his ear so she could yell through ear protection, “That was hot, Caleb! My turn! My turn!”

His face felt hot and he laughed, pushing past her so he could watch her turn. The range was reset for her and she lined herself up, planting her feet on the floor. Her stance reminded him of when they were kids and she was shooting soda cans in the backyard, and he couldn’t help but smile. He saw her take a deep breath before pulling the trigger as she exhaled. Bullseye.

His eyes widened as he looked up at the screen that showed where the bullet landed, and it was dead center. He looked over at Gideon who had the same expression, mouth agape. Caleb knew she was a good shot, but he didn’t know how well wooden pellets could translate to actual machinery. In her case, it might have been perfect.

Another shot. Bullseye. And then another. Bullseye.

He didn’t realize it, but a few more people gathered around her, watching. “Is that your girlfriend?” An acquaintance of his shouted next to him.

His chest swelled with pride. After all those weeks of lying to everyone, he could finally respond with a truthful yes. “She’s great, huh?” He added.

She must’ve noticed more people watching since the last two shots were further off, but still close enough to be able to land her a higher score than Caleb. A final total of forty-six. A round of applause erupted from the people watching, impressed by the outsider scoring higher than some club members.

She set the gun down and fast-walked back over to Caleb, slightly embarrassed. “Did you see me? Wasn’t that crazy?” She jumped up and down, holding his hands. Her hands slightly shaking from the adrenaline and reaction from the recoil.

The two and Gideon made their way out of the shooting range into the common area so they could talk easier.

“That was insane! Are you sure that was your first time?” Gideon asked, giving her a high-five. “I could never outshoot this hotshot. And you did it in one night!”

She shook her head. “Toys and air rifles…but never a handgun like that. Are my fingers supposed to hurt a little?” She rubbed her hands a bit before Caleb took over and massaged it for her.

“Yeah, it would have been worse if you didn’t hold it properly. You did amazing, Pipsqueak. You really are on your way to being the world’s best Hunter, huh?” He smiled at her, proudly.

He thought he’d be more upset about doing worse than her, he knows he has a bit of an issue where he always wanted to be better than her so he could protect her. But at that moment, he was surprised and happy to see her so excited. It also put him in a better headspace knowing that if she really had to, she could protect herself.

They had to wait until the rest of the contestants finished shooting to figure out the results of the winners, and once they did, it was no surprise that the two of them made it on the prize winning chart. They were able to claim their free date and the apology gift for Gideon.

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