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frenchnailsfrenchkiss · 1 year

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Sinai

(unfinished short, spring 2021)

The first couple of months weren't so bad. Time to reflect on past mistakes, grudges, memories. But at one point you are through with constructive reminiscence and enter the phase of second-guessing.

Of doubt, the phase where you know that everything you did was terribly wrong. Xe was now far beyond that phase even. All xer thoughts were free again, even though, from time to time, a memory would resurface, only to be subdued by a short meditation or a big sip from xer flask.

A funny thing, that flask, xe had more than enough cutlery, silverware and glasses at xer disposal, far more than xe would ever need. But the act of filling the anachronistic flask with the synthetic liquid from the canister simply labeled "recreational ethanol base", gave xer a feeling of measurement. Xe couldn't in a dozen lifetimes ever empty that canister, but to know that another quarter liter had gone was good to know, somehow. It gave xer a feeling of knowing when to stop and then ignore it.

So wherever xe went, so did xer flask.

Sometimes, xe would sit and look out the window into the vastness of space, and xer mind would start reaching out. Never to reach any destination, it would fly in circles and spiral out of control. When it returned, xe would have a sip from the flask, and sometimes it would drown that feeling of something pulling inside xer chest. It never stopped the pain, though. Most often xe would fall into a deep state of unease, wondering about things that could never have been anyway. All possibilities ended the moment that xe took off. At least all possibilities that were directed by xer.

It seemed like so much time had been wasted. Time burdened by mistakes, which now existed solely in the only record of events that would ever matter: xer memory. And xe had little else to do than to refine the imprint of events until every last action, choice, thought was dipped in doubt.

It wasn't quite true that there was nothing to do. In theory, there was a ship to command - but nothing in any direction to steer towards or away from, nothing to crash into, nothing to slow the ship down, just emptiness in all directions but one. Going back, back where, xe had wondered more than once, disected the idea of returning to the nothingness that expanded itself where a ship had been, and a field of debris slowly dissipated. The debris, at worst dead bodies floating in the eternal night.

There was a library or two in the databanks, ready to be read or watched or listened to from xer drained phone. If xe had wished, even research to read. But reading got old fast. The millions of produced games gave some more comfort, but when at one point a game had asked xer to download additional data, xe emptied almost half of xer flask at once. "Download from WHERE?" xe had shouted and punched the display. A red light and an alert had pierced the atmosphere, "HULL INTEGRITY WARNING", every display had shown. As if it were that easy to just punch a ship to sink. Why still "sink", xe had thought.

Occasionally xe would receive some random transmission, mostly a sign that the array had moved on it's own. Xe had muted the main channel to earth as soon as xe realized that no one had even noticed the sinking of the Sinai. HBS Sinai. Xe wasn't sure, but that fucking name should be written on xer little nutshell as well. His Baptised Ship. No wonder the fucker sank. Had xe not accepted a job on the 30 year mission, it would have been funnier.

Sometimes xe would focus the ship scannere on the debris field. thousands of miles behind, and wonder how many had made it. Technically, I am still on the clock, xe thought to xerself, realizing that the contract had been paid into an account that would unfreeze 30 years after it's opening. Could have been a shitty deal, depending on inflation. Could have been the last deal. But it had become both. The shitty, last deal.

Xe knew of some other ships, going in different directions and at various speeds, all trapped like xer in the vastness of space. If any of them would reach help- big "if", there.

For xer part, drifting through the night had almost had romantic appeal. Were it not for the enormous loneliness. Which didn't improve with the implied romance of a skyless, starry night.

The ship was designed to house six, and was stocked for years. In addition to the regular supplies, there was some extra stored, probably because there wasn't enough storage space on the Sinai. Those crates, water filters, ethanol, food MREs would last xer several lifetimes.

But that meant that other ships might have different supplies. Or no water filters. Or no food. But they might have powertools. Uranium cells to increase drive output. All kinds of stuff that was stored on a ship that didn't mean to return. The irony wasn't lost on xer, that the Sinai was a one-way ticket, when now xe was the one on a voyage to nowhere.

Then again, what good is it to be able to put more power into the drive when you don't have a single MRE to put in your stomach.

There had been tons of engineers, not all of them religious, on the Sinai. Better bring extras when you're on a one way trip into the unkown. Better not to have had faith then to have lost it, xe considered. The Sinai project had swallowed up at least two classes of STEM fields, all those souls Earth gov hadn't had a plan for anyways. It wasn't easy to find a job, and if you did, the pay was seldom union approved or the position even registered.

The Sinai had great contracts, at least if inflation prognosis was to be believed. In 30 years xe would have been rich.

The plan had been to go straight ahead for thirty years, the longest and furthest anyone had ever been, and then start some theological studies. While the floor personell would have been put in hypersleep and sent back in one of the ships xe found xerself in right now. Hypersleep sounded like a sweet relief, only the pods were on some other ship. Or destroyed with the Sinai. They were to be installed, at a later time that never came. Like the Sinai's destination. Forever out of reach. Xe would have installed a couple of them xerself, had it come to that.

"The directional servos are faulty", xe thought, aiming the scanner with manual control.

[never continued to write this heavily pandemic-inspired short. lmk if you have ideas

#oc #space #loneliness #sci fi #cn alcohol #cn death #isolation #txt

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coldbloodpoetry · 3 months

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Kalter Kaffee und warmes Bier.

#coldbloodpoetry #kaffee #kalter kaffee #bier #warmes bier #cn alcohol

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niennandil-me-writes · 1 year

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a dhampir and a vampire meet at a bar...

cn: alcohol, illness mention, toxic relationship

[haven't shared anything in a while, so might as well finally post this. I wrote this before our Death House run finished, so this isn't canon because Ivory actually met Lupa during the run. but it's a nice character study.]

In the first inn she could find in Barovia, Ivory sat hunched over a bottle of the cheapest liquor they would sell her, trying to forget… whatever happened over the last 24 hours. The people she had left behind, the things she had seen and heard. She knew there was still a job to do, but right now all she wanted to do was spend what little money she got from the lady at the brothel and drink her trauma away.

The seat next to her creaked. “Ivory, is that you? What a coincidence!”

Ivory jumped at the milk-smooth honey-sweet voice beside her. She jolted around and saw a pale woman with long strawberry blonde hair take the seat next to her. She smiled at Ivory, showing her fangs for just a moment, then leaned over the counter to call over to the barkeeper in a higher pitch like a little girl: “One peach schnaps with cream please, and a cherry on top if you have that. Her treat.” She nodded her head at Ivory.

Ivory cleared her throat. “What makes you think I’ll pay for your drink, bitch?”

Lupa smiled at her. “Oh, did you forget already? You offered to buy me a drink after we got done with your job back at my village.”

Ivory’s face twisted into a grin that was closer to a grimace. “Well, I thought we got that one handled already.” She pulled on her neckerchief, revealing the pale scars beneath only to Lupa and only for a second. Not the two cute points that were the stereotype (and which Lupa herself sported beneath the colorful necklaces she wore) but a wide and ugly gash like someone took a whole bite from her neck.

“Yes, and you could show a bit gratitude for me not outright murdering you.” Lupa’s drink arrived, and she lifted the tiny glass in the air for cheers before sipping on it.

“Not for lack of trying, I assume.” Ivory took a sip as well, without returning the cheer.

Lupa smiled. “I really did think you were gone for good. But then I heard that Ivory Umbra, vampire hunter, was traveling the land again, and more famous and esteemed than ever. I must admit, I was positively surprised. You are interesting, Ivy.”

Ivory flinched. “How do you know that name?”

Lupa laughed. “It was simply a nickname derived from Ivory. But from your reaction I’m guessing it is your given name? Ivy Nicolescu, then?”

“How - ”

“You had some of your identifications in the purse I took from you. The one sewn hidden in your coat? Irene Finch, Iris Bluejay, Aileen Bruckner… lots of the same starting sounds, now that I think of it.”

“Makes it easier to react to a new name,” Ivy said. “And to explain why you reacted to one you’re not carrying right now. So you were the one who stole my wallet! You know how much cash I had in there? Fuck it, of course you know. You could have at least bought me dinner before sucking my blood and disappearing with my money and certificates while I was passed out.” Why did she ever let it come to that? And why had she reacted to her given name like that? It was a rookie mistake, laying her cards on the table like that. She had to be more drunk than she had thought. “Besides, you can’t tell me Lupa is your real name. What, you chose that after turning into a bloodthirsty monster to deal with the emotional anguish that comes with it, like a wild wolf?” Not her best comeback by far.

“It is, in fact, my given name,” Lupa said, way too calm, and for a moment Ivy considered throwing the half-empty bottle at her, but she already knew Lupa was stronger than her, and by a lot. “I must say, I was a bit disappointed when I found out you went right back to posing as a hunter.”

“What, you thought I’d change after you almost kill me.” Ivy chuckled. “Turn over a new leaf. Take up some honest work?”

“A bit, maybe.”

“Well, here I am, right back where I started.” She took a sip, looking over the bottle at Lupa. “At least I don’t kill people.” That was true. She only drank blood from animals, and except for vegetarians and vegans and the owners of said animals, nobody should have an issue with that. The few times she had taken blood from humanoids, she had exerted self-control to only weaken them – and to return in the morning to promise to slay their attacker, for a small fee of course. Worked every time.

“Well, how do you know I do?”

Ivy pointed at her neckerchief.

“Oh, but that was self-defense,” Lupa pouted. “You were a vampire hunter threatening to slay me, after all.”

“Did you believe that even for a second?”

Lupa just smiled, and Ivy took another sip of her sweet sweet alcohol.

“I have killed a lot of people,” Lupa said then, still smiling, but with a threat in her eyes now. “All of us vampires have. That is the way we are.”

“Well, I haven’t. That’s something I’d never do.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Ivy, did I make you feel like I included you.” The tone of her voice was begging her to punch her in the face. “You are barely a vampire, after all, a dhampir, and not even one born of vampire blood.”

“Yes, and not a murderer,” Ivy said. “So morally, I’m above you.” She shot Lupa a teethy grin.

“Don’t act all high and mighty.” Lupa’s smile was getting icy now. “You’re meaning to tell me you’ve never harmed anyone?”

“Never said that.” Ivy gulped down some more whiskey. “Just I didn’t kill anyone. A con artist isn’t a murderer.”

“What about all the people whose money you took for taking care of dangers without ever doing so?”

Ivy waved her hand in dismissal. “Made-up dangers, made-up fears.”

“The people lost in the woods trusting the “vampire-bone” talismans you sold them to protect them? You think they make it home safely? Oh, but they are such easy victims. You wanna know how many vampires own your pendants after they took them from your victims?”

“Not my fault they lost their common sense over some necklaces I gave them.”

“But it is your fault if a mother spends all her money on Madame Iris Bluejay’s Miracle Elixir instead of saving it for some real medicine for her deadly ill son. Or if some poor soul spends their last savings on a speck of land that a Miss Irene Finch promises is filled with gold. Need I go on? You might not have killed anyone directly, but do you seriously think your scams have never cost someone’s live? You’re not a vampire, you’re worse and lower than that: You are a leech. You may not take lives, but you ruin them.”

“That is not murder,” Ivy said through gritted teeth. “Those people chose to believe me, they have only themselves to blame.”

“So, do you have yourself to blame for me attacking you after you fell for my lie of being a sweet innocent village girl?”

“You know what?” Ivy slammed down her bottle. Lupa actually flinched, and Ivy grinned in satisfaction. "Yes. Yes, I do have myself to blame. I was stupid to trust you. But you know why I did? Because I was trying to scam you. I wanted nothing more than you treating me like that heroic figure, that dark and mysterious vampire hunter, so I could bang you and then leave in the morning. So when you treated me exactly like I wanted you to, I didn’t question that. The best scams are always the ones played on wannabe scammers themselves. People who think they’re paying less than you’re worth. Who think you don’t know about the gold buried on the land you’re selling. You think those people are so innocent? Well, they’re not. They always see something in it for themselves, or they wouldn’t respond to such an obvious scam.”

“The way you sound so much like one of us when we’re just turned,” Lupa hummed. She finished her glass – how in the world could she take that long for a shot glass – and then licked the cream from her lips. Ivy felt herself blush at the sight, and then took another swig to keep Lupa from seeing it.

“We all tell ourselves we don’t have a choice, and anyways, it’s our victims’ fault for not being careful,” Lupa continues. “Life’s not fair, not for us, and not for them.”

“Well, it isn’t.” Damn, why did she sound so whiny right there? “I mean, listen, I never had any real chance in life, no education, no money, no nothing. Other people got a head start. Call me a liar and a cheat, but rich people are cheating at life.”

“And your parents never had time for you, always working, so now you get the attention that you crave by pretending to be all those big personalities.”

Ivy stared at her, and something in her expression made Lupa laugh out loud. “Oh, Ivy, you are so easy.”

“Fuck you,” Ivy murmured into her drink.

“Oh, now don’t be all sulky.” Lupa laid a hand to her shoulder. Ivy pulled away, a bit too quick, a bit too revealing, and Lupa noticed, judging by the fire in her eyes. “I wanted to tell you something else. My friends, they are actually quite happy with what you’re doing. As I said, they noticed your talismans, and they heard about you. There was some fear at first, but after I told them about you, they were very relieved. So, you see, you are actually under some protection now. They like having a fake vampire hunter on their side.”

“Who says I’m on your side?”

“Like I said, you’re under my protection now.” She smiled, wide, baring her fangs, and even through the daze of the alcohol, Ivy understood.

“I’ll think about it.”

“That’s all I wanted to hear,” Lupa chirped. “And until then, you just have to do what you always do, little leech.” She lifted her empty glass. “What do you say? Another one of those and then you could pay for a room for the two of us?”

Ivy tensed. She couldn’t help but look at Lupa again, her pale skin, freckled face, intense green eyes, her loose dress showing more of her chest than was probably decent. The alcohol didn’t make this easier.

Finally, Ivy tore her eyes away. “Pay for your own damn drink.”

“Fine, then.” Lupa got up and walked over to another lone traveller at the other end of the room, no doubt enticing them to get something more than schnaps from them, leaving Ivory once again alone with her bottle and her fears.

#my writing #oc writing #ivory umbra #lupa #vampires #dhampir #cn alcohol #why am i writing people at a bar that often?

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icarus-enthroned · 1 year

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beer always seems like such a great idea until i remember it’s just delicious depression juice

#personal #cn alcohol

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fishareglorious · 3 months

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The more I think of it the only two adults living in the suitcase currently in the main story is a literal fruit and the lorax

#reverse 1999 #certified storm moments #if you count lilya as part of the suitcase crew and as an adult then. yeah we have a functioning alcoholic there i guess?#wait we don't have a canon age for lilya right. heard she's 17 in the cn which is ????? wdym she's been chugging vodka since 13

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itsagrimm · 5 months

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Dad! König

aka a bit of german speaking parenting traditions

when his kids were young he was one of those parents that always sat around the playground with a coffee, watching his kids climbing and doing tricks. naturally he nodded supportively and hummed tiredly every time they showed him a trick.

was the default parent to go to parent's conference days when he could meaning he somehow managed to fold himself up on tiny kids chairs while listing to a teacher talk about school life and his kids progress

always dragged his kids into the outdoors on the weekend to make them work off some energy as he is a firm believer of the classical german "leaving the house once a day"-rule. it gracefully also doubled as giving his partner a bit of alone time.

the parent to push for games night. From Uno to Ludo to Carcassone - an evening playing with his kids, is a good evening.

does not baby his kids. if they get hurt, that's unfortunate and he will try to comfort as much as possible. but getting hurts happens and it's part of growing up. he is not too worried after checking for injury and blowing away the fright with a kiss.

as such he allows for independence and leaves kids to play on their own a lot with a trusted adult being only somewhere in the area depending on the kids age and needs.

the parent to be pleaded with. with enough puppy eyes his kids could get anything from him.

will always push for education over work and as he has the means he will finance whatever is needed for that.

is one of those dads that insists on checking homework when his kids were younger as well as practicing multiplication tables with them.

insists on living in an area where kids can go to school or visit friends on their own from a young age.

limits screen time until they get a bit older.

however they have a phone so he can reach them especially as he travels a lot.

generally regretful on how much he misses and tries to make up on it once he is back.

def the parent to watch kids cartoons with a passion. he can sing along to the bluey intro song at this point.

really bad at crafts with the kids.

will def become a bit awkward once his kids grow older.

will not put up dating rules for his kids no matter the age. they are old enough (and he would also feel weird about it). plus, as he comes from a pro-sex education culture and insists on the same for his kids, he is not too worried about kids doing something they don't understand the consequences of.

he will however insist on his kids telling him where they are once they are older and be home on time.

the parent to call at night to pick up from an escalated party who doesn't judge alcohol consumption. he had his fair share of mishaps and is sympathetic. he will however make some teasing jokes the next day.

will feel lost and uncomfortably old once his kids have moved out but maybe, maybe... one might have grandkids one day and he is patient enough. He has things to do after all. The house needs to be kept up. And the garden needs work. And what about his partner always wanting to travel more?

#CN alcohol #könig #könig call of duty #dad!könig #könig cod

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