#cockilicous

[maochira]

I know you won't do Snuffy as a father figure yet, so can you do the father trio reacting their child being a mukbang star when they're not playing soccer? Like their child is wearing a disguise so they won't find out. I can imagine their child being put into some kind of boot camp after the father trio found out because they need to stay fit when they are playing soccer. I asked this because I am currently obvious with watching mukbang because of the yummy foods.

Sorry if you expected something serious, but I had no ideas what to write for this. So I let my friend @deerangle3 write this and the way I know them, it's gonna turn into a crackfic. I hope it at least makes you laugh LMAO (Edit after Claire wrote this: we made @wasfuerpainman read this out loud it was the funniest shit ever)

A/N: I FUCKING LOVE SNUFFY!!!!! I WILL ABSOLUTELY INCLUDE HIM!!!! *kisses snuffy passionately on the cheek in a platonic way* ALSO!! "Y/Nzilla" is the username, yk like godzilla but with your name (because youre a god😉😉)

"MHhhhhh~ whis food is so goowd!" Y/N stuffed their mouth with fresh deep-fried shrimps, breaded generously with crunchy panko. The camera was focused on their visage. The live-chat was speeding by at insane speeds.

Footsuckurerer:'Y/Nzilla! I love your content! Eat my flesh please Y/N-Sama!'

Germs985:'HIHIAHIHUGIUAHDASKJ YNNYNYNNYNYNNN!!/"(!")( I LOE YOU PLEASE GIBE ME OYuR ATTENSHPM!!!😍😍🌹❤️❤️🥰🥰🫶'

Such were some of the silly comments Y/N would see every day in the Live Chat.

"Pahahah, they don't know..." Y/N thought to themself, almost snickering. The 'Y/Nsters' as they liked to call themselves, were so obsessed yet they weren't even aware of Y/Ns true appearance.

Yes! A disguise! Y/N wore an obnoxious green wig, though it was worn perfectly, in a way that it looked completely natural (well, dyed, but attached to the head). On top of that, some nicely bedazzled Sunglasses, completely hiding the eyes.

Y/N's Parents were completely unaware of Y/N doing Mukbang. They made good money as well, but knew that their parents probably wouldn't fully approve of Mukbang, because they would rather have their child play soccer. This was also the majority of the reason for the disguise. Another reason was just not wanting to be recognized, or not wanting to show their face to the entire internet.

Y/N lived in a large house with their 4 dads, Noel Noa, Marc Snuffy, Chris Prince and Lavinho. Who knew if they were dating or just friends raising a kid together. From a young age, Y/N was playing soccer. As soon as they learned to walk, there was always a ball o kick. They were never super insistent, never forced soccer on Y/N but it was still a relevant part. In school, Y/N was known for their great soccer skills, as well as captain of the soccer club!

Y/N takes another passionate, big bite of the shrimpilicious sustenance. "mmh mmh mMMMMHH!!! whe fwawors awe mewting on my tONGUE!" Y/N mumbled, the food making their words hardly coherent.

timeskip

"HEYY Y/NNNNNNN MY LitTLE MOUSE!!!" Lavinho jumped at Y/N, hugging them. "WAnna play some FOOTBALL!!""!"!"§"§"!?"??"§???"

Y/N nodded, they assumed their other dads would also be there, and they were right! They kicked the ball back and forth until Chris mentioned something. "Guys, have you seen this new Mukbanger? They're like, totally silly." Chris chuckled. Noa looked at Chris with a "HM?!??!"-ish look. "Since when are you in the Mukbang-Community?" "I'm in it for the nutritional knowledge! Y'know, like, whats good for my muscles." He proudly closed his eyes with a confident expression and flexed his biceps. "I do that too sometimes." Snuffy said.

"Who do you mean?" Y/N asked, slightly afraid of if Chris meant them. "Uhhh they wear a green wig I think!" He raised his finger in an intelligent manner. "Oh, I don't think I've heard of them..." Y/N pretended.

"I think I have"

The conversation went back and forth about this mukbanger. Eventually, Chris pulled up a picture of you in your disguise. "They seem kinda familiar don't they?" Snuffy asked, scratching his chin in thought. "Ya think so?" Lavinho asked, looking a little more closely. "HmMMmmMmmmmmm.... let's just eat dinner." Noa said, walking back toward the house.

The five of them enjoyed a yummy yummy dinner. "I could use these leftovers for my stream tomorrow..." Y/N thought to themself.

timeskip

"Y/N!?!?!?? WHY ARE YOU WEARING A GREEN WIG??? AND EATING???? aRE YOU ajsdk---.ajniu THAT MUKBANGER!??!?!?!??" Chris was in utter shock. He caught them red-handed. Y/N immediately shut down the stream. Chris wasn't supposed to be home! "DAD THIS ISN'T WHAT YOU THINK IT IS!" but Chris had already run out of the room and called your other dads. Oh No!!!

"Mukbang? You??" Snuffy looked at them, a little shocked, or was it amazement? "Do you at least make money?" Lavi asked. "Yea..." Y/N looked down at the ground, perhaps slightly embarrassed. "How much?" Noa wanted to know.

"Uhm,,, like around 3000 on average, but it all depends on how many donations I get..." They mumbled quietly. They all looked a little shocked. Good shocked. "That's pretty... pretty good." Snuffy nodded approvingly.

"Please don't be mad at me..." Tears started welling up in Y/Ns eyes.

"Oh Y/N, Why would we be mad about such a thing?" Noa went in to hug Y/N and the others soon followed, leading to a comforting group hug. "As long as you're safe, happy and healthy, we don't have an issue with it." Snuffy gave them a gentle smile. Chris agreed "As long as your grades don't slip, or you reach an unhealthy weight or something, were totally fine with you doing this as a... side job?"

"Yeah, and you're using a disguise right? So it'll be harder for strangers to find you." Lavi added.

They weren't mad in the slightest, just a little confused maybe, but proud for sure, because they had gotten quite successful! Y/N promised them they would play more soccer, or at least do more physical exercise with them, so that Y/N would stay healthy and not become the next Nicocado Avocado. Surprisingly, Snuffy even suggested that they could join Y/N on a stream sometime. It would surely bump their viewers if a world-class soccer player ate Mukbang with Y/Nzilla! Yet alone four!

timeskip

Sockersucker: "WHAT !?!?!? NOEL NoA STUFFING HIS FACE WITH HOT DOGS?!??!?!"

KeineHoelle: "THIS is the most epic colllabb ever! How did you get into contact with the pro soccer players?"

SalesBadman: "CHRIS PRINC?!?? LAVINSNO!?!?????ßßß?? SNUAFY!? NAO NOEL!??? WHAAAATT IS GOING ON!?!?? I better call my wife."

SnuffyLover69: "OMGOMGOMG SNUFFY AND Y/NZILLA THIS IS INSANE I AM GOING INSANE I WILL SELL MY ORGANS FOR YOU Y/NAND SNUFFY I AM IN ABSOLUTE FISBELIEF HOLY MOLY MACKARONY WHAT INT EH FUCKING BANANAASS!!!!!"

Chat was going absolutely insane, seeing these world-class players eating yummy hotdogs with this odd-looking Mukbanger. The viewer count spiked up to 20k, from the usual 3-5k. More and more people joined the stream, the viewer count kept rising and the donations went insane as well. This was the best day yet, career-wise.

It was a very wholesome eating session with Y/N and their dads.

YUM!

[suburban-satan]

shit my friends say

So I made a list of all the wild shit my friends say, started in January 2018 and still going. It's one year old I guess? Well, enjoy what I have so far!

2018 -d a d d y w i s e -well there’s chains on the ground so that must mean this was a kinky sex dungeon -GORSH MICKEY NOT MY G SPOT -I can wait until I turn 40 so I can troll Japanese Girls on roblox -what if we all looked like mike wizowski but our heads were the same size as they are now -I wanna give pot to a bird -I take pills without water -daddies cummie wummies are the best cummie wummies -enjoy your nonexistent stomach acid -cum glaze -I hope you choke on MY meat -who hasn’t been on pornhub -(wipes tears away and starts belting despacito) -MY GAY IS BEING TRIGGERED -that omelet looks delouse -is semen a liquid or solid -iTs nOt aQuaNauTs yOu uNculTurEd fOoK -vaginas are scary -what is menstruation -you should change your name to pussy something -my gay has been activated -“have you ever owned a vibrator?” “No” “would you like to rent one” -“do you like glazed or cream filled” -wHaT dOeS cUm sOuNd LiKe -he is on too much fertilizer -sometimes cum is hot I know from experience -if you jerked off at the speed of sound would your dick be on fire -I don’t have a sonic fetish -can your dick ignite because of the heat of your cock -aren’t dicks like cannons -who the fuck draws a glowing peepee on a skeleton -honey Freddy freaker is dancing in the living room -does penis smell like garlic -she don’t swallow in this household -*downloading garrison nudes* -don’t you realize that tentacle porn is just using octopus arms as a dildo -frickle my nipples -Minecraft porn consists of the male genitalia replaced with a stick -OOPSIE WOOPSIE!! Uwu We make a fucky wucky!! A wittle fucko boingo! The code monkeys at our headquarters are working VEWY HAWD to fix this! -“I’m big for an asian” -cockilicous -“His anal glands need milking” -fready flipper -FREADY FAPPER -daddy better make me choke -does Freddy freaker have a mutated alien dick -sonic breaks the sound barrier by beating his meat -the sun looks like it’s gon vore you -bootyhole exploration -is megalovania sex music -i like to drink cock -cum is just genital snot -penis musk -Shid piz and farbt -Bull + shit = sis it don’t add up -Hey don’t tell me at least once in your life you haven’t thought about being gently caressed across the genitalia by the kraken -I swallow boba like i swallow cum -I wuv fungus kun, the way he waps a awond my tosie wosies so tight! He’s gibing me a huggie!!!! Fungus kun gibes my tosies a new color too!!!! Wat a good fungus kun make my doki doki go “ UAU” heeheehee -eating banana with the banana peel -orang juce -father I want cheddar -don’t you just look at someone and think about how long their neck is -breathing is just boneless vaping -get outta here juuling criminal -yall ever succ a dick for juul pods -unironically drawing miss piggy -“Jack don’t let go 😱🤭🤭, jack sweetie 😐👀 if you let go 🙊🙈 you’re weave 🙀🙀 gone 😇😘💅” -I've been watching spooky movies for 5 hour -omg it’s daddy sans undertaker!!! -bröther -I ate my sister -are you'd's't've kidding me? -oh youtube please don't show me the shrek movies rn -My brother is calling me out on the family group chat for eating a bowl of peanut butter -Hamilton is best girl -get outta here you fuckin loyalist -what doesn’t cum have -drink flex seal and you won’t have to worry about a marriage -I feel water. -“Superfood or supergross? Is Sperm good?” -coochie hands gucci bands -just imagine trying to cast a spell and then you get disturbed by a banjo -toto africa is sex music now and everytime they say rain it’s just cum -y'all ever burp in your mouth and exhale it through your nose like a vaper -how dare them make my green senpai an honorable member of society -If you didn’t search big boobs video on google at least once are you really a Gen Z kid????? -laugh pussies -i’m watching the history of japan on pornhub -we have the same name because we are secretly the same person -what if you eat your phone and it’s all in your tummy -why would you ever think i’m not serious all the time you silly dragon but we’re both (my name) so we can be the silly dragon together -why would you wash your face before you go to bed when your tears wash it off for you *wooshing noises* -I want to drive a bus because I like busses -my shoe broke -why does everyone talk about the drugs i’m eating -i’m going to break her because she’s talking about smoking cocaine and I don’t like drugs -(stage whisper) metal heads live among us but we don’t know because they look like normal people -oh bye mr music teacher -the pussy? designer. cucci, if you will. -DID I HEAR S A N S P O R N -"i'm about to nay nay on your dead fucking corpse" -alert alert the toes are coming -you got a fucking problem with my 𝐩𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐝𝐢𝐛𝐬? -imagine using an oven for something designed for a microwave this post was made by the doesnt have much motivation gang -Please take my Minnesotan snow Wait that sounds like Minnesotan cocaine -when you funny scream -"dating the Bill of Rights for fun" is now exactly how I'm going to describe my hyperfixations -the penguin  from fruit loops is a twink (bitch its a toucan) -if white cheese exists is there black cheese -What’s rosum opossum -whale cum -dicko mode -(GETTIN SOME CHRISTMAS SPIRIT UP IN THAT PUSS) -pennies more like penis amirite -It’s Sunday don’t forget to squeeze cheese on the cat -the grinch is dr seuss’s fursona -everyone is gangster until the trees start speaking vietnamese -big chungus is my dad -“if the apocalypse happened what would you do” “eat bees” -I'm tired as fuck but I gotta wait until it's 4:20 to go to bed -mom: you need to be reasonable and wait two hours before having another brownie me, stuffing my mouth full of brownie: br o w n y s -This honey in whole foods is in fucking comic sans -it's more likely that I'll guess someone is gay before I remember the existence of women -im gonna say it again for the people in the back:

i eat bees -Thanos penis, it's actually called a thenis -yort -uwu its the mowst thorstiewst time of the yeaw uwu -It is I Teh gromc -The gronk is here to say eat all the dish soap in the house -the grinch but he's wearing crocs the entire time -answer my question or else i will establish sans porn -You make him doki doki uwaaaaa!!!! -birdbox but all the bird sounds are replaced by cardi b noises -THE GROMPK IS TOO POWERFUL -consume ocean sauce -square up in judge judys court -half consumes ocean sauce -ice juce -frick stick -you guys wanna read undertale fanfiction     -2019- -it might be 2019 but thats not gonna stop me from terrorizing my family's groupchat -(pineapple voice) first date idea: digest eachother -Wait dennys will arrest you for doing illegal things?? -pls purify me -my toes are very succulent today -two succs having flex two succs having sex my muscles my muscles involuntarily checks -f u r r y , N a s h . -Perfect for all occasions! Spill something on your nice shirt, give a messy blowjob, and sphagetti!!! -Do you want cum on your nice shirt??? -it would be nice if i had cum on my shirt -cocc succ machine -I KNOW TONGUE JUTSU -I feel like i’m in a meat prison -hi you obese elephant -plant porn is just flowey porn -We all love the out of the box 4am messages we get -YOU LIKE SNAS PEEPEE