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ulteri0rm0tives · 2 months ago
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I still think about my mutuals tag where he said that he thinks Johnny feels so much and so deeply that it literally drove him crazy. And yeah. Just think about it constantly. It's. The statement I associate with him. The first thing I think of when I think of him.
I really, really, really dislike when people paint Johnny as this totally unfeeling asshole. Or at least, I heavily disagree with it. That's not to say he isn't an asshole, he 100% is. He's a jerk to the people around him, and of course there really is no excuse for how he treats people. But explanations =/= excuses.
I feel when people try to paint him that way, it comes from a place that lacks understanding or even an unwillingness to understand. This goes hand in hand where I'll see these people call him an unfeeling asshole while using terms associated with cluster b disorders and using the social weight they carry to demonize him, a very prevalent problem reflected in society and internet pop psychology culture.
They'll take the fact he's a 'narcissistic junkie', and not only at the same time use it to demonize people with NPD, but also drug users. It's just a very lazy way to paint a picture of his characterization, by using loaded terms as a crutch and letting their social weight, using yours and others people's biases, do the job for you. Like man, if you're going to make a critique of his character can we at least actually put some effort behind it.
Like. They think he's a user who's an unfeeling asshole to people just for the sake of being one. They see him engaging in these self endangering, self harming, self sabotaging behaviors and brush it off as nothing more than him being like that simply because he likes it, that he relishes in it even. Simply because he wants and chooses to be like that.
They don't see him using as a way of numbing himself (this especially with the fact drugs are the first thing he goes for when Alt breaks it off with him). They don't see that constant toxic push and pull in his relationships as self sabotage. They don't see the fact him going on that OP was a suicide mission. Literally.
I truly believe he never intended to come back from that mission, evident in his last exchange with Kerry, evident in a LOT of his own lyrics. (Black Dog, Ballad of Buck Ravers.)
Johnny clearly is passionate. He clearly has things he cares about. He clearly feels.
I'd even go so far as to say he genuinely does care about the people in his life, he just simply doesn't know how to show it properly or in a way that's healthy for anyone involved. Even when Alt breaks up with him, and he pushes her away for it, he still ends up chasing after her before she's even left the venue. He still tries to protect her. When Alt gets abducted, and yeah, he's being a leadheaded stubborn idiot about it, he still goes after her.
And even if it's self aggrandizing in a lot of ways, he still cares about her life enough to raid a whole fucking tower for her. Even if it's more in the view of what Arasaka took from him, than what it did to her, he still cares about her in his own way. He still grieves her. He's still broken up when she dies right in front of him, and he still acts out even if it's violent and angry. His grief has ALWAYS manifested this way.
When he sees the headlines about Kerry, he asks V to check up on him, to visit him. He even asks Kerry about it because (I think) it came from a place of genuine worry shown the best way he can show it, a straightforward question and dropping it when he gets an answer, no matter how truthful the answer is. When Kerry gets the idea for a one time reunion, Johnny agrees to it because he thinks 'Kerry needs this'.
I also think people see that he's a very angry person and attribute 'unfeeling' to that. Because to them, to a lot of people, anger isn't a valid emotion nor one with as much value as happiness or sadness. That's it's something less than. Even if anger was all he felt, it's still a feeling. He still feels it. He still feels.
His anger, though it's execution is obviously a problem, it's extremely fucking justified and valid. It's born from the mistreatment of a system that only destroys people's lives. Born from a system that only knows how to take, how to hurt, how to kill.
The same system that took, not just a literal piece of Johnny, but so many pieces of his identity and his life that he literally tries to project himself as an entirely new person to escape this.
Johnny cares about how the system treats people, especially people like him. How it uses people and chews them up and discards them when it's taken all it can from them. Johnny cares so much he becomes not just a voice, but thinks he is- and in a lot of ways he does really become one- a symbol for people like him.
That OP functioned as another rescue mission for Alt, another statement for his ideals, and his blaze of glory to go out on his own terms.
Johnny cares about things. Johnny cares about people. He has feelings. Complicated, convoluted, deeply traumatized feelings. Feelings that are so intense, that it harms him. Feelings that are so intense, that it bleeds from him and harms others, too.
And honestly, I'd say the one and only person he stopped truly caring about was himself. A long, long time ago.
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rolorules · 5 months ago
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By E~n.
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rinisdrawing · 2 years ago
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cozy summer afternoons
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amalgamasreal · 10 months ago
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What Lelouch didn't take into account is that Heero and Relena's love language is MUTUALLY ASSURED DESTRUCTION.
Remember that the last time someone tried to use her this way he fired a double barrel buster rifle at their location till it exploded.
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anhilliator1 · 1 month ago
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The funny thing about Mecha as a genre (both super and real robot) is that it basically gatekeeps itself
For the most part people bounce off of it due to their own preconcieved notions
and if someone ever tries to make a statement on Mecha despite having never actually interacted with the genre beyond a cursory level, it's immediately clear to everyone else that said person is talking out their ass.
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beebfreeb · 10 months ago
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I am just hanging out and being regular.
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uglygirlstatus · 3 months ago
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softlaunching my little neocities personal website wheeee: antgraveyard.neocities.org
there is still sooo much I want to add eventually but i think i need to let it sit in this state for a little while and take a break besides little day to day updates. also if anyone else has their own neocities sites lemme know i'd love to link back and browse and such !
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marcysdreamydays11 · 7 months ago
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Tumblr's Favorite Mecha Anime!
I saw one on Reddit ..guess which Mecha won lmao
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paxesoterica · 3 months ago
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youtube
Series mentioned in trailer include:
Combattler V
Aura Battler Dunbine
Mobile Fighter G Gundam
Majestic Prince
Code Geass Lelouch of the Re;surrection
Macross Delta the Movie: Passionate Walküre
Getter Robo Arc
Mobile Suit Gundam the Witch from Mercury Season 1
...with more series to be announced.
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rdmaaron · 3 months ago
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Anyways, I find the story in Super Robot Wars 30 really fascinating because it’s status as an anniversary game led to it being written as though it were a sequel to a SRW game that never actually happened, at least not individually.
All the classic series mainstays like Amuro, Koji and Ryoma already not only know each other, but consider each other lifelong friends and allies. Everyone is constantly making references to other great big conflicts that have already happened off screen (specifically the events of the One Year War, Char’s Counterattack, and Code Geass in particular) and spend a lot of time reflecting on the consequences of those conflicts.
Char and Lelouch strike up a friendship bonding over the fact that they are both 2 of the biggest fuck ups in recorded human history and basically every choice they made was a mistake. McGillis shows up in the DLC and they immediately identify him as cut from the same cloth they are and try to push him away from that path.
It’s all really good basically. Highly recommended if you are a mech anime fan.
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mediamuse · 4 months ago
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h20milk · 4 months ago
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anyone else like zayne and calebs contrasting appearances and personalities and relationship with the mc and
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luvwich · 3 months ago
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ao3 text threads, 2025
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i made an extended version of my cyberpunk text threads tool with themes that emulate different messaging interfaces, and the ability to customize the colors, fonts etc. i've seen at least one person on ao3 who was using the "minimal" interface for non-cyberpunk fics, so i thought i'd generalize it a bit more!
you can also now add centered, freeform timestamps (ie "Yesterday" and "Today" in the image above), hide the per-message timestamps, and/or use a 12hr format instead of the 24h-with-seconds format
on neocities ->
i'm working on adding an avatars feature too :3 (edit: avatars have been added)
and here's a live preview of how these display on ao3!
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chellychuu · 7 months ago
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Camper cards! ౨ৎ
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tmos-time · 1 year ago
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throws march eridan out into the internet like a farmer feeding corn to his chickens lol
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ghosts-cant-sleep · 1 year ago
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Heeeeyyy, never requested anything but i think i'll give it a shot because i really like the way you write! You're really talented :]
Mayhaps a simon "ghost" riley x male reader? Reader is very provocative and loves getting reactions out of people, no matter if they are amused chuckles or annoyed groans. BUT Ghost is a brick wall and reader sees it as a challenge? Im sure your beautidul mind will come up with something interesting!
May i have the "🦇" as my anon emoji? (If its not taken of course!)
Thanksss, have an amazing day/night!
you can whistle for it
simon 'ghost' riley x male! reader warnings: idk how spotting works im just basing it off of that one american sniper scene kinda, suggestive innuendos, stupid jokes, not proofread, notes: i love specific anons sm :3 yall r so cute :3 ofc u can have 🦇 :3 lysm :3
fem dni.
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"Y'know, Lieutenant, I've been thinking-"
"I doubt that."
"-You, me, alone under the stars... It's pretty romantic, don't'cha think?"
"No."
A heavy sigh pushes past [Name]'s lips, hia breath blooming into a faint mist of white, fading into the deep blues of the sky hanging high above them.
The snow crunches bellow his elbows with every breath, laying thick over the plantlife. Frost coated the leaves that shrouded the pair, snowfall left the branches bending under the weight, there wasn't even a peep from the local fauna.
And oh god, what he wouldn't give to be warm like them, huddled in a burrow, coat all he'd need to keep warm. Instead, he was left in thick, stiff winter gear, the cruel wind biting at the tip of his nose in spite of the fleece-lined gaiter.
Hell, he was surprised his rifle wasn't crusted in ice.
He wasn't surprised, however, to deduce that the poor weather seemed to reflect on his lieutenant's mood, as if being stuck on overwatch for hours on end wasn't bad enough.
[Name] laid with his cheek resting on the stock of his gun, index finger lazily tapping against the trigger gaurd to some unrecognized rhythm.
And Ghost was right beside him, nearly hyper focused on spotted. Each had their eyes trained on their respective scopes, and both were miserable.
Aching backs, necks swiftly growing sore, eye's dry, lips cracking, and faces all kn all feeling like they'd be ready to freeze off any moment now. And that's not even mentioning that this was the fourth time Ghost had essentially requested [Name] shut his mouth in the past thirty minutes they'd been in the field, which was frustrating enough for both of them.
And excuse him for not wanting to waste his night sulking in silence, but making the best out of a less than steller situation didn't seem to be something Ghost was capable of.
It was charming, in its own annoying little way-- the relentless chatter and constant quips and jokes, even if they sometimes boarded on ridiculously unprofessional. Whether it be an annoyed groan, a flustered chuckle, or a reluctant smile masked with a roll of their eyes, his little antics never failed to coax out some reaction.
Almost never.
And in all honesty, this self inflicted, fruitless journey to get so much as a scoff out of Ghost wasn't even the point anymore. Sure, to be met with anything other than stubborn apathy would be a breath of fresh air, not to mention satisfying after so long of any and all jokes, swipes, and thinly veiled innuendo being shut down with little remorse would be a delight. But now? [Name] just wanted something to distract himself from the cold that clung to his skin.
So, as always, to Ghost's dismay, he gives it another go.
Dispite himself, another sigh is huffed out. He glances over to Ghost, the sight of something other than his reticle feeling foreign.
"So..." He starts, situating his sights back to his scope. "You got a girlfriend or anything?"
He found the idea a little funny. The image of this big, stoic man holding hands or otherwise being sweet on some pretty little lady.
There's a stretch of silence, expectantly so, and [Name]'s already racking his brain for something-- anything, to say next.
"No."
The low rumble of Ghost's voice takes him by surprise, but it'd be foolish to dwell on it long. An answer's an answer.
"Figured," [Name] mutters out, adjusting the grip on his gun, rolling out shoulders in an attempt to ease the discomfort that's begun to festerbetweenhia shoulder blades. "Does that mean you're up for grabs then?"
Only the whistle of wind responds this time.
"I'll take that as a maybe." He might as well have been aimlessly talking to himself. Hell, that would've been more entertaining than this.
"Y'know, I'm sure deep down you do think I'm funny." Told you; relentless. Still, despite the smile hidden behind his mask and the slightly forced crinkle in his eye, [Name] couldn't quite hide the irritation growing thick in his own throat.
"I think you're a distraction," Ghost is swift to correct, his balaclava doing little to hide the annoyance in his tone. "A liability if you're not careful, so do shut up."
[Name] can't help but shake his head, a sharp huff pulling from his throat. Sure Ghost was his superior, and by no means were they supposed to be all buddy-buddy with one another. But jesus fucking christ, would it hurt to crack smile. Hell, even Price offers a pitty laugh on the rare occasion.
"It wouldn't kill you to have some damn fun one in a while." The words leave his mouth before his can think better of it, tounge sharp.
"It might," Ghost is quick to retort with just as much bite. For the first time since they settled down, his eyes leave the spotter, sending a well received warning glare [Name]'s way. "Give it a rest, yeah?"
Be it the weather, the job, a wave of bravery, or simply just [Name]'s long overdue annoyance reaching its peak, he, in fact, does not give it a rest.
"It's like you're scared of saying something interesting for once."
"Maybe I'll let you chew on some lead to shut you up. That interesting enough?"
"Christ."
Every stretch on silence is near unbearable. It feels like even the wind still in these moments. [Name] would prefer a constant flood of berating and hardly enjoyable banter from Ghost far more than this.
The tension of the moment breifly lingers before it disapates just as swiftly as it had arrived, the tension in [Name]'s chest easing. He lets out a soft breath, his grip adjusts, his elbows sink furth into the snow.
"Well-" Ghost interjects with gruff sigh, "-Soap told me you like jokes."
"Did he, now?"
"Where do generals keep their armies?"
"Up their sleevies."
"God dammit, Ghost."
[Name] purses his lips, effectively splitting it down the center, the heat from the sting made all the worse by the every present chill. He had more pressing matters to worry about. "Why do snipers aim with one eye closed?"
"Sergeant."
"Humor me-- just this once, and I swear I'll shut up for the rest of the night." An obvious lie. However, Ghost doesn't try to correct it. "...Why do snipers aim with one eye closed?"
"...Why?"
"If they closed both, they wouldn't be able to see."
Yet another discontent sigh leaves Ghost's mouth. But, [Name] could've sworn he almost heard a smile forcing its way onto Ghost's face as he spoke. "Now are you done?"
[Name]s response isn't instantaneous. His head lifts from the small of the stock, gaze leaving the scope and finding Ghost beside him.
Ghost was still, near statuesque if it weren't for the soft puffs of breath that seeped through the thick knit of his mask. [Name] knew Ghost liked being behind the trigger more than anything, but he was sure Ghost's ego swelled, even if just a tad, over being the one chosen to spot instead.
Only when Ghost's eyes meet [Name]'s does he retreat back to his scope. Still, he let's his stiff face pull into a grin. "Say whatever you want, but I think I am starting to get to you, Lieutenant."
"Oh, piss off." This time, he hears Ghost shift around in place, a tired groan accompaning the shifting of snow beneath him. "Just quiet down before I show you how to put that mouth of yours to good use for once."
"Awe, c'mon now, you-- huh?"
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