#coming soon lol

[ruubesz-draws]

They look so happy to see someone! I wonder who it is?????

(Trying to get back into drawing comics 🥺)

📢Reminder!! Entries for DTIYS Challenge end this month!

[freddie-77-ao3]

Someday (Maybe This Won't Hurt So Much)

“Why does it hurt?” Malcolm asks. At Connor’s curious glance, he adds, “living. It just hurts. Why do we keep–”

He chokes.

Connor opens their mouth, but shuts it again. They pause. 

“I don’t think it’s meant to hurt all the time,” they say finally. “I think someday, we’re going to wake up, and everything is going to be fine.”

Malcolm is silent. He presses his head closer onto Connor’s shoulder, facing away from the light. 

“Maybe,” he murmurs eventually. Connor hums, as they watch the sun rise and a new day begin. 

Someday was coming for them. 

~~

And then, it never came.

[ummmlife]

and i got another idea

(here it is: 🔪)

[pastaart]

Things are cooking for my Etsy. Trying to figure out how to print my stickers better. This is my first attempt at home printing any kind of merch before! I'm still learning...

[divixxyy]

I can always hear you sing, I wanna hear you speak to me

While a stranger braids my hair back out on the street

- "Dear Arkansas Daughter" by Lady Lamb

[xenaizogie]

Me at work daydreaming

Me as soon as I get off

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[crybabyfucktoy]

Audio posts of you slapping your pussy please. Is your pussy bald?

sure thing haha and mostly lolol it will be in a few hrs after I get my Brazilian touched up haha.. ill include some pussy slapping in another audio tho😏🤭

[amhrosina]

some of my favorite things i've written in the outline of this vigilante!reader x frank castle fic:

Snippy discussions (frank being an asshole, [redacted] being sassy, we love to see it)

“You move like a cat. Should I call you Kitten?” 

“I could tell you. But then I’d have to kill you.” “Yeah? Good luck, sweetheart.” 

“You got enough guns in that suit of yours, Kitten?” “Frank, worry about Frank.”

Gun fight, blah blah blah write this later. 

[Redacted] loses focus when she realizes how attractive Frank is when he’s yelling. (Trauma? Check yes, Juliet.)

[mroddmod]

i’m still hoping for a CX-2/tech reveal, if for nothing else than to see this scene play out

[caffichai]

Kroos, first piece for the Food Drive!

She won't sleep on the job! She's not sleeping, she's just relaxing

[spatziline]

Jinshi gives a gift to Maomao - Part 1

[inkskinned]

so while i was writing the book, i became violently suicidal.

this was mostly due to the fact that i had a very bad reaction to some meds and my brain stopped producing any serotonin. also i was in the last semester of grad school where it's actually illegal to feel anything but dread. so it wasn't going well.

somewhere in the fog of it i became aware i needed help. nobody was taking clients or my insurance. i didn't want to do inpatient care - it wasn't right for my needs. there's not really an "in between" stage between "inpatient" and "no care," but i was trying to do the right thing. i was trying to activate the chain of command that was my emergency plan. i knew i needed help now.

i used betterhelp.

i know, i know. i'm a straight-A student and so smart and so clever, how could i ever use something so blatantly bad. to be honest with you, i didn't feel particularly keen on it from the getgo - things that seem too good to be true usually are. also, if something online is free, the price is usually your privacy.

the thing is that there was kind of a global pandemic happening at the time and i worked 5 jobs alongside of being a fulltime student and also like writing a book on the side. it is a miracle that i even thought about getting help. i would love to tell you i had the mental wherewithal to like, process whether this was the right choice for me. mostly i was desperate. i was so suicidal that i was trying to find a reason to stay inside of fortune cookies. i was the kind of suicidal that looks like splatterpaint. i hadn't been that bad in an entire decade.

they took my data. i gave them it freely. somewhere out there, they have a dossier on me. on everything i survived. my story in little datapoints, scattergraphed beautifully.

the first woman told me that really i should be grateful, because (and this is a direct quote): "at least you're not anne frank." i said that i felt that statement was antisemitic, as anne frank's life and experience shouldn't be compared to like, a nonbinary lesbian in western massachusetts. the therapist said that i should try to use lucid dreaming to try to picture myself in an actually scary situation, like running from nazis.

i applied for another therapist. i was willing to accept the possibility that there was a bad apple in the bunch. the next therapist and i even laughed about how inappropriate that statement was. and then, in our next session: the new therapist said if i was struggling with body image issues, i should just work harder on my appearance. she spent 3 sessions in a row talking about how she was grieving, and made me memorize facts about her grandmother so "she can live on through my clients."

i am a three's-a-charm kind of person. okay, so what if the last person made me uncomfortable. i figured it was just a misunderstanding of priorities - she had felt she was sharing with me, i had felt like i had to take care of her. i applied for another therapist.

the last woman asked me to help her pray. she bowed her head. i stared at her, frozen, while she said: lord, i beg you: cure her. take the pain of being gay away from her.

i spent somewhere between 2.5 and 3 months on betterhelp. in that whole time, i was not getting the professional help i so desperately needed, even though i was fucking trying.

in the end, i survived this because i finally could get off the meds that were literally killing me. a request for a real therapist finally went through. i survived because my friends saved my life. because nick let me sob myself dry in his arms. because maddie took the razors out of my room when i asked them to. because grace slept over in my bed for like 3 weeks in a row since nobody trusted me not to hurt myself when i was alone. i survived because i got fucking lucky. because even when i was desperately suicidal, i was too old and too self-aware to take "you need to be prettier" as good advice.

the thing is that there's a 19 year old me who isn't like that. who would have heard "just think about how grateful you should be" and said - oh, i see. i would have assumed that is what it means to be in therapy: the same thing my abusers used to tell me. that i am just pretending and lazy. that i am ugly and unworthy.

betterhelp positioned itself to take advantage of an incredibly vulnerable community. it preys on desperation. it knows it is serving people who are not doing well mentally. it saw that there is a huge need for real, immediate, compassionate mental health care: and then it fucking takes your money and privacy.

i still get their ads on instagram. last night i watched as a woman in a pool pretends to talk to a different woman. they discuss her anxiety.

there's a 19 year old version of me, and she didn't survive this. she was too tired, and drowning. i almost fucking died. this thing almost fucking killed me.

in the ad, the woman playing the therapist takes a note on a clipboard and then nods once, sagely.

i have to admit it's a pretty scene. the steam and light coming off the pool water lands on the actresses. like this, it almost looks baptismal, holy.

[asteraws]

my clown college grad project from december last year 🎪

[daeyumi]

✨👁️ [And was Echoed Below] 🩸✨

[Cycle of the Stars au]

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

resident warrior cats...

[paimt]

just realized i never posted this out loud