#concerns about their work dynamic being brought to an end because they might be separated

[dailyanarchistposts]

Critique of the Convergence Organizing

Midway through the week, one longtime attendee who had pushed hard for the 2009 convergence to experiment with a new model remarked that it was just like a rural convergence, only in a city. Indeed, though this convergence took place in a different setting, the model that had been developed over the preceding seven years was transposed whole into this new environment.

This was a tremendous missed opportunity. The model that had worked well enough in the countryside was not as suited for the city, and, more to the point, it offered few opportunities to engage with locals—which presumably would be the whole reason to have an urban convergence. There were exceptions to this, such as the open hours at the free clinic, but in general the convergence occurred in a bubble, separated from local communities rather than integrated into them or reaching out to them. This is not the model for radical organizing that most longtime convergence participants employ in our own hometowns, and it’s unfortunate that we fell back into it here. Scarcity of resources such as food and space was repeatedly cited as one of the obstacles to opening up interactions with more locals; indeed, it’s hard to demonstrate the advantages of the anarchist alternative with so little at our disposal. But there was also a failure of imagination.

Much of this can be traced to glitches in the organizing process. Because the original plan was to buy and repair a building, little thought was given to how else the event might interact with the local community. Less that two months before the event, local organizers were still scrambling to keep open the possibility of purchasing a building, while putting little energy into developing a plan B. The breakdown in the organizing group can only have made things worse. This is a reminder of how important group dynamic issues are, and how far-ranging the effects can be when conflicts are not worked out.

It’s also true that other recent models for anarchist gatherings have provided precious few examples of how to engage with local communities. Conferences are frequently held on college campuses, which brings up as many issues around accessibility and class comfort as convergences in residential neighborhoods bring up about gentrification. Bookfairs cast locals as consumers, limiting their participation according to economic means and offering few other points of departure besides passively listening to speakers.

We anarchists, long used to being outsiders, must be careful not to marginalize ourselves. Future convergences that take place in cities should aim to interact with locals and interrupt the separations that characterize daily life under capitalism. It is sad that the Pittsburgh Really Really Free Market, which could have been an opportunity for this, ended up largely being a space to process the effects of the disruption.

Participants also brought up concerns about structural issues that could have contributed to this year’s convergence being an uncomfortable space for attendees with less social privilege. Some suggested that the self-structuring nature of the convergence was a problem. A couple people asked whether it would be better for it to be invite-only, though this was hotly disputed. It was proposed that there could be a mandatory orientation workshop for first-time attendees. Other top-down solutions were advanced, involving more structure and protocol.

Instead of proposing more infrastructure, one might ask why the existing infrastructure—such as the mediation team and the exclusion policy—was not effective. One answer is that those who were most alienated by others’ behavior felt least entitled to ask organizers for help dealing with it. Another is that responsibility was not widely distributed enough—a six-person mediation team can’t hope to keep up with every potential conflict or uncomfortable situation without others also taking initiative.[1] Here again we return to the challenges of organizing events that include people who are at their first anarchist gathering.

Some of the aforementioned proposals focus more on how to curb the insensitive behavior of those who benefit from social privilege than on empowering those affected by it. One proposal that took the opposite approach suggested that race and gender caucuses should be scheduled at the beginning of the convergence, rather than near the end[2] (when they have occurred the last few years), offering participants of those demographics the chance to confer and present demands to other attendees. As privilege issues extend to an infinite range of facets beyond race, gender, and class, this would still be a limited solution, but it could at least be a starting point. It also takes advantage of the self-structuring aspect of the convergence, rather than attempting to suppress it.

In a spatial rather than temporal version of this proposal, spaces could be designated for the same purpose. This would have been particularly difficult in Pittsburgh, where there was so little space at our disposal, but we can at least put it in the toolbox for later.

One other factor at this convergence was that there were so few opportunities for individuals to address the entire convergence. At previous convergences, there had been circles in the morning and the evening; in Pittsburgh, due to space and time constraints, they only took place in the mornings, barely accommodating organizers and workshop presenters and offering no time at all for individuals to air concerns or frustrations.

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Something something about Buck unravelling caution tape at a scene which an married gay man and his father. Something about it being a warning that buck is unravelling and something something about that unravelling having something to do with a father figure and acceptance - or the worry about acceptance.

[luvteez]

bassists do it deeper

pairing: yunho x genderneutral!reader genre + tags: smut, band au | kink discovery, exhibitionism, a brief segment of semi-public sex, hand kink, size kink, yunho monster cock bc this deserves a tag, power play, switch dynamics (i think??), dom!yunho pulls through in the end, unprotected sex wc: 6.3k

note: big thanks to my fav babie @lustjoong​ for motivating me to combine the two ideas i had for the prompt into one and motivating me to finish this!! here’s my take on the unspoken obligatory yunho size kink fic every ateez smut writer should have written once but make him a bassist. also, the band au to this pwp is literally just there as an excuse to make yeosang the lead singer of the band bc if kq won’t give yeosang lines, i will 

A lot can happen throughout a single weekend, as your English professor suddenly quitting her job, your brother Yeosang almost burning down the kitchen from deep frying an egg, an influx of voicemails in your inbox all sent from Wooyoung, as well as Yeosang’s punk rock band losing a member. It’s a lot to process when all you’ve done is stay the night at Yuqi’s, even harder so when Wooyoung keeps repeating every five seconds that Seonghwa quit the band. (”Why did it have to be Seonghwa who left Stereowave? He was the hottest one!”)

That being said, you expected to come home to a beyond grumpy Yeosang who was trying to find a replacement asap. A band without a bassist sounds empty, and while Stereowave has garnered a big enough fanbase over the years that wouldn’t mind the band continuing as a trio, it just feels wrong. Besides, branding a group consisting of Yeosang the frontman, San the guitarist, Mingi the drummer, and nobody covering the bassist position a band doesn’t sit right.

You were prepared for the worst; a messy kitchen, Yeosang walking around in clothes he wore for five days straight, possibly the outbreak of World War III depending on how shitty he’s feeling. But instead, you find the kitchen exceptionally clean and Yeosang acting as if nothing ever happened.

“Can you help set up the camera? The guys and I wanna film a new song.”

“Uh, sure,” you answer irritatedly. “Shouldn’t you be more concerned about finding a replacement for Seonghwa though?”

“Oh, we already have a new bassist,” he waves off casually, “What are you gaping at? Shut that jaw of yours before flies fly into your nasty mouth.”

“First of all, rude.” Yeosang rolls his eyes at that comment. For a split second, you’re contemplating letting him figure out on his own how to use the camera because he’s the walking embodiment of a technology illiterate, but your curiosity about the new band member is bigger. “But how did you manage to find a new replacement so fast? It’s been like, what, a day since Seonghwa left?”

Yeosang sighs. “He’s been thinking of quitting for weeks now, so I had enough time to look for a new bassist. It’s not that big of a deal anyway.”

And this is exactly why you should never get dicked down by your bandmate several times in a month, you think to yourself. Seonghwa and Yeosang thought they were slick, but everyone figured they were more than friends. Needless to say, it was only a matter of time until the strain of their relationship wreaked havoc within the band.

“So,” you say as you two walk to the makeshift studio in the basement, “Is the new guy good? What’s his name?”

The change of topic makes Yeosang relax visibly. There’s a sheepish smile on his face and he replies, “You’ll see.”

You arch a brow. For some reason, that doesn’t settle comfortably in your gut. Then there’s the fact that Yeosang is slightly skipping, and that makes you more concerned than relieved. Because Yeosang barely skips, only when he’s being petty and is planning on pranking somebody. (Most of the time, it’s San.)

The faint vibrations of drums and guitars ring in your ears before you step a foot into the basement. Mingi is the first to acknowledge your presence, immediately dampening the cymbals before waving at you. That causes the other two guys to stop playing their instruments and turn their heads around. You greet San like you normally do, and when your eyes flit to the new addition, all brightness drops from your face.

“What. The. Fuck.”

Yunho cocks his head to the side almost tauntingly, eyes challenging. The corners of his mouth quirk upwards, though more with the intention of saying hah you thought you’d never see me again. “Hello to you too, honey. Looks like fate brought us together once more, eh?”

You blink multiple times to make sure your eyes aren’t deceiving you. To your dismay, they sure aren’t. It really is Yunho standing right next to an utterly confused San, and the bass in his hands just confirms it furthermore.

“Since when do you play an instrument?” you gawk. There’s no fucking way he could’ve had time to pick up music, not when his schedule was already jammed with basketball training and student council activities. Then again, that was his schedule in middle school.

“Since I was fifteen,” he drawls, unaffected by your outburst. “Any other questions, honey? Preferably something along the lines of how have you been? I expected a warmer welcome from you, not gonna lie.”

“What does Yeosang even see in you?” you splutter instead, disgust prevalent in your voice.

“Talent. Believe it or not.”

“Guys, no fighting,” Yeosang warns, but you’re too busy sending Yunho daggers and every pg rated curse under the sun your brain can wrack up.

Meanwhile, San shifts his weight on one leg awkwardly and asks in the background as your verbal dispute continues, “Are they exes or something?”

“Nah, just childhood enemies,” Mingi mumbles, clearly used to your interactions to the point where he’s becoming bored of it. He’s heard all the profanities too many times coming out from the same mouth, hence why he isn’t as disturbed as San is.

“Listen up, you piec—“ 

“(y/n), the camera. Help your older brother out, will ya?” Yeosang cuts you off urgently, the warning tone in his words hard to miss.

“Yeah, help your brother out, shorty,” Yunho snickers. Appalled by his blatant shamelessness, you scowl.

“I’m not that short—!”

“Still shorter than I am, shorty. Or do you prefer honey?”

World War III would’ve broken out right then and there if it weren’t for Yeosang’s death glare — you know, the look he has etched on his face whenever he means business and is willing to go so far and expose all of the nasty mishaps you’ve done in middle school, which is definitely something that should never see the light of day.

“I prefer neither,” you mutter after weighing the gravity of Yeosang’s wrath, avoiding any eyes before you set up the camera. Luckily, nobody further comments on that and eventually, everybody resumes practicing their parts of the songs.

Just in time as Mingi takes another short break to chug his water down, you stumble across a problem. “Uh, Yeosang? You should buy a new camera. This is still usable, but you might have to reset every ten minutes or so.”

A groan leaves him, followed by a shrill guitar riff, and you can see that he’d prefer death over spending money for a new one. “Can’t you just stay here during practice and reset it? You also get to hear some new tracks of the upcoming EP!” That fucker, he’s just too lazy to run forward and press a button every few minutes.

“I have to be on standby for the Block B ticket sale,” you lie. Technically, it’s not really a lie because you do plan on going to the Block B concert with Wooyoung, but 1) the ticket sale isn’t even today and 2) it’s always Wooyoung who buys the tickets. Yeosang doesn’t need to know that though. Any excuse is better than having to sit through practice and see if Yunho is as good as he claims.

Seems like Yeosang desperately doesn’t want to keep running back and forth to reset the camera as he suddenly says, “You can do it here too.” You would argue that the garage has its separate WiFi and only the band members have access to it, but then: “You can use my laptop instead.”

And letting you use his laptop is something he never does. You failed to submit an assignment in time because your own laptop broke down and he didn’t let you borrow his computer for even that.

“Fine,” you sigh in defeat. Yeosang thanks you with a smile so obnoxiously sweet it makes you gag. When all he gets in return from you is the middle finger, his demeanor drops and he mutters something inaudible under his breath, pointing to the small table at the side where all their phones and laptops are lying before he goes back to the others.

Once all four of them are in position and ready to play, you press the record button before flipping yourself onto the old patchwork couch Yeosang bought at a garage sale for only thirty quid a few years back. To your surprise, Yeosang’s MacBook is already unlocked, the default wallpaper of mountains and northern lights quite jarring to your eyes.

When given the rare chance to have unlimited access to your sibling’s devices, it’s self-explanatory what to do. You either a) go through all of their accounts and find as much dirt as possible about them that serves as good material for future blackmail purposes or b) sign them up to as many online subscriptions as possible that will make them go crazy. Unfortunately, that doesn’t work on Yeosang because 1) he doesn’t mind online subscriptions, and 2) he never checks his email account, hence why his inbox is filled with over 2000 mails, a third of them most likely unopened. On top of that, his MacBook is strictly meant for work, so if you really wanted to find out his most embarrassing secrets, your only shot is his phone.

That being said, you’re left with option c) which is checking out Block B’s concert merch since that’s the only sensible thing you can do right now. Forget productivity; that isn’t doable when Yeosang’s deep timbre is blaring in your ears along with the instruments. To be honest, you really enjoy Stereowave’s music and that’s on their music, not because your brother is the lead singer. You’ve enjoyed each of their performances and perhaps you’ve been indulging in the privilege of hearing their new songs first.

But now that Yunho’s involved, suddenly the prospect of having a new favorite band sounds tempting. What was Yuqi’s favorite band again? Day6? You should take a closer look at their discography.

As much as you want to mute the sound, from San’s riffs to Mingi’s drum solo, you fail to do so. One moment you’re opening the search browser, and in the next, your eyes are set on the group. They’re practicing like they usually do; fun etched on their faces as they lose themselves in the music. Yeosang is singing as if he was performing in front of a million viewers while San improvises a solo on a whim. Mingi messes up the beat for a split second after failing to catch his stick and somehow, your eyes have zoomed in on Yunho. It doesn’t take you five seconds to realize:

Yunho is good.

While he might not seem as fired up as the other three, he’s visibly relaxed. Just like Seonghwa, he plays smoothly and isn’t overpowered by the others, but he seems to have an easier time gliding his fingers across the fingerboard. The bassline is easy to filter out, not the generic pattern you can find in every second pop song, yet still compliments the other instruments.

He can play, fair game. However, that’s the least of your worries. You’re more attentive to the ratio of his hands to the bass. His hands are larger than Seonghwa’s by far, no doubt. That makes sense given his height, maybe an inch taller than Mingi. But Mingi doesn’t have that big hands. Doesn’t that mean that Yunho’s body is disproportional?

Before you know it, you drag your gaze from his shoes up to his legs and stop at his hands briefly, only to proceed upwards until you see the cocky smirk and amused eyes directed at you. All clogs in your brain come to a stillstand and despite that, that’s when you realize you’ve been 1) enjoying his music, 2) checking him out, and 3) checking him out and caught red-handed.

It feels as if you were living on the sun instead of on Earth as you burn up in embarrassment. Knowing there’s no way you can deflect what you just did, you quickly turn back to the laptop, the Google search bar staring back at you.

You’re about to type in something when the search history pops up, catching your eyes. A gasp leaves you but it goes under the music, everyone too immersed in their own thing to notice the prevalent horror settling on your face.

exhibitionism

getting off in public

best crowded places to have sex and get away with it

You blink, thinking that your sleep deprivation got the worst out of you and that you’ve finally reached the stage where you start hallucinating. Except, you know you’re not hallucinating. After going through the words again and again, you know that you’re really not fucking hallucinating and that your nonexistent sleep cycle isn’t as bad as Yuqi makes it out to be.

When you said you wanted to dig up dirt on your brother, you didn’t mean it in the form of his kinks. Money can’t buy everything, but how you wish it could so you could unsee that shocking discovery.

Since this is Yeosang’s work computer and he’s signed into his Google account, he must make use of the drive to save a copy of his ideas. It probably won’t amount to anything since he’s the walking embodiment of staying unbothered, but writing him a note on his docs about how he’s made your life worse by not clearing his search history is better than staying silent.

You click on the little icon on the top right corner, expecting to see Yeosang’s name right above the email address. But then you see Yunho’s name instead, and suddenly everything makes much more sense.

This was never Yeosang’s laptop to begin with.

To say you’re at a loss of words is an understatement. There’s no way someone could have as little self-awareness and leave their laptop unlocked, let alone Yunho out of all people. Then again, the last thing you expected from him was to play the bass and blend well with the rest of the band as if he’s always been the bassist of Stereowave and not the newly found replacement.

This is absolutely bonkers. But:

You could have fun with it. Maybe it’s for the better that money can’t buy everything.

Besides dozens of articles about semi-public sex and even a blogpost titled Shagging in Broad Daylight for Dummies, his search history of the last 24 hours consists of many forum links discussing the morality of exhibitionism, conspiracy theories, and hand care guides. You wheeze when you see the private playlist he saved on his YouTube account; a collection of videos about filing your nails properly and the best hand cream brands for dry skin.

Yeosang calls in for a break, and everyone’s grateful for it. San lets out a relieved noise as he places his guitar on the stand before catching the water bottle Mingi chucks at him.

“My arms are beat,” Mingi complains.

San sends him an incredulous look and snorts, “All you do is bang! crash! ppang! while my throat is fucked! And so are my legs!”

“Not my fault if you keep doing your high pitched oows! while jumping around like a— like a cricket!”

“A cricket? Are you serious?”

“I’m tired, okay!”

“Then that means we should call it a day and go home and rest, right?”

“Choi San, I think you’re onto something.”

“Absolutely not,” Yeosang deadpans, causing the bickering duo to pout in sync. “We have lots to do especially since Yunho’s now part of the band.” When all he’s met with is an attempt of cute puppy eyes that rather looks like a bad rendition of any horror movie featuring creepy dolls, Yeosang sighs, “I ordered chicken for dinner and yes, it’s on me.”

In an instant, Mingi and San’s faces brighten up and they’re celebrating as if they won a free cruise to the Bahamas. They don’t hesitate to envelop Yeosang in a bear hug, crushing the life out of him. A chuckle escapes you at the sight of your brother wringing for his sanity. Sometimes you wonder how on Earth those three guys are the same three guys who perform in abandoned warehouses, jamming out their punk rock songs while looking all edgy (in a cool way that has at least half of their fans thirsting after them).

Meanwhile, Yunho drops himself on the other end of the couch. Propping his right leg on the coffee table in front, he digs around in his pockets before pulling something out.

“Since when do you file your nails?” You pointedly raise a brow at him. Although your extensive research on his browser history already answered that question, you ask him just for the sake of it.

“Hand care is important, shorty,” Yunho replies, keeping his eyes trained on his fingers as he works the file around a nail. “If Kageyama Tobio files his nails, I can too. But enough with the small talk, what do you want?”

“I didn’t peg you as an exhibitionist.”

His hand stops moving. Yunho looks up at you, irritation written all over his features. “Because I file my nails...? A bold assumption, honey.”

There’s a reason why Yunho has always gotten away with pretty much everything. He’s a good actor who’s able to feign innocence at any time. His posture is relaxed, voice genuinely sounding flabbergasted that not even your shit-eating grin can throw him off guard.

You can’t, but your proof will do the job.

“I never said it’s because of your hand fixation.” You turn the laptop screen his way and once his eyes flicker on it and decipher the words, his face falls. Gone is the faux-confusion; as all color drains from him, his eyes look like they’re about to fall out of their sockets. “Is it really a bold assumption now, honey?”

Yunho inhales sharply when you scoot closer to him and put a firm hand on his left leg, his laptop now closed and long forgotten. Your fingers are placed too high for it to be friendly, skimming lightly on the inside of his thigh. Yeosang and the others are busy minding their own business but the chance of getting caught in the act is still there. The simple realization has adrenaline running a hundred miles an hour in your veins, and with the way Yunho clenches his jaw — a desperate attempt to fight the groan that’s threatening in the back of his throat — you’re not the only one who’s aroused by the setup.

Slowly, your hand inches closer to his growing bulge. Before you can dare yet another experimental squeeze, Yunho’s hand surges forward and holds your wrist in a vice grip.

“Don’t,” he snarls through gritted teeth, but it sounds sadder than it is intimidating when he’s sporting a boner right in front of your eyes.

You cock your head to the side, almost in a mocking demeanor. “You sure? Think about it, it’s a win-win situation. You get to live out your exhibitionist right here in front of your new bandmates, and I get the confirmation that you’re into it. But if you really don’t want to…” you try to retreat your hand but Yunho doesn’t let you budge, hand still enclosed around yours. That won’t do as an answer.

“Which one is it? Say it, Yunho,” you assert, narrowing your eyes. Yunho looks distraught, feverishly biting his lip while he’s internally fighting with himself, but he eventually chokes out a response.

“As long as nobody notices—”

“You either say you want me to touch you or not. I don’t want any roundabout stories.”

“Touch me,” he whispers defeatedly and the grip on your hand disappears completely. “But I swear to God if anyone realizes what you’re doing— hhnh—!” he cuts himself off with a low moan when you cup him over the material of his jeans.

“Yes yes, I get it. I don’t need Yeosang to know about this,” you dismiss. “And oh wow, you’re getting hard fast when I’m just touching you over your pants.”

“Just get to it.”

The snappish attitude causes you to stop dead in your tracks. “You think you’re in the position to tell me what to do? I can be mean too, y’know,” you start nonchalantly, a stark contrast to the way your heart is shaking in your ribcage. The power you suddenly hold is exhilarating. “I could just leave you like this, and then you’d have to try to cover your situation down there while practice goes on. How would the others react if they only knew your dick is hard? Probably won’t take them too long to find out since standing for a long time can be tiring, hm?”

Yunho’s head lolls back in response as he’s struggling to keep his eyes open. His breathing is uneven and the resulting moan that follows suit makes you smirk. You lightly smack the inside of his thigh, causing another wave of arousal to rupture in him. He chokes out a hushed ‘f-fuck’ and at this point, the constriction around his cock must be bordering painful.

“Who would’ve thought that the big bad Jeong Yunho is actually a submissive bitch who’s hungry for attention?” you ask gleefully, delivering another slap before stroking the area. “Who would’ve fucking thought you were a sub?”

“I-I’m not— shit, s-stop that, hngh— a fucking sub.”

“Yeah yeah, say that to yourself.” You rip your gaze away from Yunho’s flushed face to check if the coast is clear before targeting his fisted hands. He stiffens when you pry his hand open and bring three digits to your lips, sticking your tongue out to give kitten licks to his fingertips before pushing them into your mouth. You hum, suck, swirl your tongue around his fingers, giggling when all he does is stare at you wordlessly, unable to form any coherent thoughts. “See? Not even once have you put up a fight.”

That seems to snap him out of his daze. In an instant, his eyes darken and his jaw clenches.

“Oh honey, you know, you really shouldn’t tease me.”

You snicker, seeing through his bluff. “Wow, I’m so scared. What do you wanna do? Leave practice right now? Drag me to my room and pound me into the mattress?”

“Don’t tempt me.”

“You could never, sub.”

Whatever strands of self-control were still residing in Yunho have turned to dust by now. One moment he’s towering over you in full height, looking down on your sitting form in bitter distaste, and in the next, he’s dragging you out of the basement, unaffected by the sudden silence and Yeosang, Mingi and San’s confused expressions.

Once you’re in the living room, Yunho wastes no time crowding you against the wall and crashing his lips against yours. The kiss is a messy clash of teeth and tongues, but it leaves you hot and lightheaded and aching for more. Yunho knows no limits and snakes one arm around your waist to pull you closer to him, the other hand fisting your hair. He tugs harshly and the sharp sting sends all your nerves into a frenzy.

“Bedroom. Now.” The sudden huskiness in his tone catches you off guard and you wonder when his voice has ever sounded so rough. You moan into the kiss, fisting his shirt as you stumble your way to your bedroom.

Yunho pins you against the door once you’re in your bedroom. His lips are addictive, just like the groans he slips in kisses and his hands roaming your body. He gets rid of your clothes until you’re left in your underwear, then forces a knee between your legs to keep them from closing. Your eyes roll back at the friction, growing needier and hotter when he presses his thigh against you harder. 

When you finally pull away, his eyes are hooded and his lips are red and swollen. There’s no trace of inhibitions left in him as he watches you like a predator. With horror, you realize that the tables have turned, and when he easily locks both of your wrists above your head with one hand only, that’s when you know you’re undisputedly powerless against him.

“Who’s the sub now?” he pants, eyes sparkling with glee.

“Still y-you.” The response sounds pathetic to your own ears, but you have too big of an ego to admit it out loud. Yunho doesn’t buy it either if his quirked brow wasn’t telling enough.

“Still in denial, honey? I see. Guess I’ll have to do more then.” His free hand reaches down to tug on the waistband of your underwear, only to let it snap against your skin. The slight sting is enough to render your knees into mush and set fog into your vision. He does it again, and then he actually tugs the fabric down and you finally grab his motives.

“You’re bluffing— y-you wouldn’t put y-your fingers,” you ramble, hyperaware about how dangerously close his fingers are. Just when you think he’s about to shove a digit in, he pulls away completely.

“You know, you keep talking about my hands. It’s always my hands this, my hands that,” Yunho says casually, giving his nails a quick glance before meeting your eyes. “Rather than me having a hand fixation, it’s you who has a thing for hands. My hands specifically.”

You don’t like how every word is true. You don’t want to acknowledge that he’s correct. Verbally, because your body is moving on its own and has betrayed you long ago.

Yunho taps on your bottom lip and you comply reluctantly, letting him shove the same three fingers you sucked before. Mumbling unintelligible words under his breath, he watches intently as you hum around him, eyes fluttering shut when he slowly moves them in and out of your mouth. A whine escapes you when he pulls them out for good, soaked wet with your spit.

“Tell me.” Yunho grins, “Tell me what you like about them. Or else I’ll leave you hanging.” He’s not lying and you know it. The look he sends you is enough proof that he wouldn’t hesitate to leave you high and dry.

You don’t like how he’s stringing you on like a rag doll. You don’t like how he’s stripping you off your dignity step by step. Strangely enough, you feel yourself leaking and wanting nothing but his pretty long fingers inside of you.

“I like how they, agh I— I l-like how—” you stutter, losing all levels of rationality when he suddenly circles around your entrance. Yunho urges you to continue and it takes up all of your brainpower to pick up where you left off, “—they’re so long and big and pretty—”

“So you have a size kink.”

You stare at him in disbelief. Now that, that’s something he shouldn’t have deduced. “W-wha— I don’t!”

“Seems to me that you have one though. You kept stressing how big and bad and tall I was after all.” You stiffen. Did you? Did you really? You don’t recall saying it that many times but it's hard to think straight when Yunho still has your wrists above your head and is looking down at you in a downright patronizing way. It leaves you trembling pitifully, feeling called out and feeling so, so small.

He really wants you to hit your lowest peak because he doesn’t stop there. “Who’s the real sub here? Is it really me? Or is it you who likes feeling so short, small, tiny.” His smirk widens when your breath hitches ever so slightly. “I fucking knew it.”

“You don’t know shit,” you bark back, but to no avail. Your credibility has diminished the moment he caught up to your kinks.

“Say whatever you want but that won’t change the fact that you’re tiny baby,” he pauses, takes his bottom lip between his teeth as he’s giving you a thorough once-over and then enunciates the next syllables with such clarity that forces time to stop, “My tiny, helpless baby.”

The pet name breaks you. It’s the final trigger that takes all your inhibitions away and the pathetic size of an ego that was left in your stubborn head.

“Please,” your voice cracks but that’s the least of your worries. You can’t move, can’t talk back, and won’t get anything in return. Yunho is right in front of you, finding satisfaction in your internal destruction and yet, after all of the things he’s slaughtered you to, he won’t give you anything in return.

“Just a little bit more, baby. I’ll give you what you want if you repeat after me; I’m your—”

“I’m your tiny, helpless baby who desperately wants you to fuck me.” Yunho is mildly taken aback that you were still able to think and get it right before he even finished his sentence. “Now get on to it, Yunho. Please.”

You’re sniffling at this point, begging for any kind of stimulation that shoots you to the stars. You’re fucking sniffling, and that’s all it takes for Yunho to manhandle you on the bed. A gasp escapes you, not expecting this turn of events at all. It all happens in a flash and the next thing you know, you’re on all fours, face buried in the pillow.

“Yunho, I t-thought y-you’d fuck me,” you complain, glancing behind to see what’s taking him so long. Your mouth waters at the sight.

“Patience, baby,” he says as he’s unbuckling his belt, taking his sweet time. You rub your legs together to ease the tension, but you can’t really say you’re not enjoying the show. Yunho’s lean, slightly defined, and once he’s only left in his underwear, you swallow heavily. There’s a large, dark patch on the fabric and the bulge seems more prominent than before.

If your mouth was only watering, you’re drooling by now. Yunho takes off his boxers, revealing his painfully hard cock, tip red and oozing precum. Just like the rest of him, he’s abnormally huge.

You have two thoughts. One: Fuck, you want him. Now. Two:

“That’s never going to fit inside of me.”

“Oh it will,” he says with such confidence it gives you shivers. “I’ll pound you into the mattress and you’ll take it all.”

He grabs you by your thighs to pull you closer to him before positioning himself right behind you. “W-wait!” you cry, heart suddenly feeling heavy in your chest, “D-don’t just put it in without prep— o-oh, hnngh—” your body feels like jelly when Yunho presses two spit-coated fingers past your entrance, stretching you out with finesse.

“I’m not that heartless,” he chuckles amusedly, right at the same time he curls his digits right against your sweet spot, sending you headfirst into bliss. “You’re so small you wouldn’t be able to take an inch without prep.”

You only whine into the pillow, arching your back as he continues his ministrations. Once Yunho deems you stretched out enough, he retreats his fingers and replaces them immediately with his cock.

The difference is like night and day. It’s like his fingers didn’t amount to anything compared to this. The high-pitched cry that escapes you is loud as you grasp onto the pillow for dear life.

“How can you be so big?” you pant. There’s no way he’s past four inches deep inside of you. You’re far from being filled, but your walls are already clenching hard around him.

“Bassists do it deeper for a reason.” The innuendo is tacky but in your current headspace, it sounds like the sexiest thing you’ve ever heard. Yunho stills his hips, letting you get used to him. “How are you feeling?”

“Guh—” he chuckles at your inability to form coherent words, let alone thoughts. “So big.”

“You’ll get used to it, honey.” He leans forward to pet your hair. “Tell me when I can move,” he adds gently, and you swear you could melt right then.

It takes you a moment to get your breathing steady, and then he pushes more of his length inside. Whimpering, you writhe beneath him, feeling as if you’re being torn apart. Meanwhile, he’s breathing hard through his nose, trying his damn hardest to go as slow as possible. At a certain point, Yunho stops pressing for more and pulls out ever so slightly before rocking his hips back forward. It starts out slowly, but he gradually picks up the pace and you lose yourself into him.

“Faster,” you moan, bending your back for an even deeper angle. “Hnngh, so full. Want m-more.”

“You were right, you can’t take me to the hilt.” Yunho readjusts his grip on his hips and you know that bruises are going to last until the end of the week. “God, you’re so fucking small that you can’t take me to the fucking hilt.”

Your vision turns foggy once the meaning gets through you. Now that he’s saying it, how much of his cock is inside of you? Half of it? A third? He’s stretching you out so well, filling you up so impossibly deep and that wasn’t even his everything?

“That’s not— want more of you, all of you,” you stammer, not realizing what you’re even saying. “Baby wants all of you.” God, you’re so drunk and desperate for his cock that you can’t refer yourself in the first person anymore.

Yunho reacts just as perplexed, eyes widening. His hips still once more, and though you’d want to shout at him to keep on moving, you don’t find the energy to move your head, or even lift a finger.

“So fucking greedy,” he growls, pulling out of you completely. Not even a second later, he flips you around on your back so that you’re facing him dead in the eye, and then he pushes back in. The new position has you gurgling on broken words as your arms flail around for dear life.

Yunho throws a leg over his shoulder, creating a deeper angle. You don’t know if he’s actually giving you more if he’s managed to force more of him into you. All you register is the messy squelch of liquids and your moans bouncing off the walls. You can’t even see properly, everything a blur and a mix of different colors.

“I’m gonna cum,” you whimper, sensing your demise nearing closer and closer.

“Then cum,” Yunho orders in between groans, then adds in a louder voice, “You hear that baby? Cum and make a mess out of yourself.”

Your orgasm crashes onto you in a big singular wave as you tremble under his frame, walls clenching around him tightly. His name leaves your mouth like a mantra as you continue to convulse. Yunho pulls out moments later, just to spurt white on your abdomen. His face is flushed and beads of sweat are forming on his forehead while he jerks himself dry.

It’s a miracle that Yunho hasn’t toppled on you once he slowly comes down from his high. The fog in your vision clears up gradually, but your limbs are as good as worthless. You won’t be able to move freely for a good day or two.

As you continue to blink at the ceiling, only finding the energy to breathe, Yunho grabs the box of tissues from your nightstand and wipes himself off before doing the same to you. His touch is gentle unlike before, and you’d thank him if your vocal cords were still functioning.

You’re about to drift to sleep until he suddenly leans down and pecks your lips. In an instant, you narrow your eyes at him and ask, “What was that for?”

“You had some cum on your lip. I wanted to taste too.” Yunho smiles cheekily and runs his tongue against his bottom lip, then grimaces. “It tastes... yikes.”

He cleans you up in silence before plopping onto the bed right next to you. No words are exchanged up until you say, “Yeosang is going to kill you.”

“He can’t afford to kill me. He needs me for the band,” he muses.

“He’ll still kill you.”

“I appreciate the concern, honey.”

“Just scram back to practice.”

“Don’t you want to go to the bathroom first?”

“I can do it myself.”

“Oh really?”

“... Yunho, help me on my legs and then scram back to practice.”

Meanwhile, back in the basement, the guys are waiting for their bandmate to come back so they can finally finish practice and then eat chicken.

“You sure (y/n) and Yunho are only childhood enemies? They’ve been going at it like rabbits if he isn’t back here yet!” San exclaims, throwing his arms up for dramatic effect.

Mingi can’t counter that because San has a point, so he whips his head to Yeosang. “Dude, you sure they’re not in a relationship? They have to be at least fuckbuddies! Or fuckrivals? Fuckenemies? Or…”

“I do not know and I do not care,” Yeosang says blankly, looking like he’s about to bang his head against the wall because he sure won’t walk into your room and curse his eyes for the rest of his life. Damnit, all he wants is to practice and get the band together; their next gig is only a few weeks away. “In fact, I want to unsee what I just saw and unhear what you just said.”

[alwaysmychoices]

Where I Think the OH Gang Ends Up - HCs

After 3 books of falling in love with these characters, I thought I’d share my HCs for where these characters end up - including some about Charlie and Ethan’s future. Obviously, this varies because I’m a Ethan romancer, so I could make different versions depending on your LI. Included is where they live, their jobs, and their personal lives. 

If you have any questions/HCs, feel free to reach out, and I hope you enjoy this!

Location: Boston, MA

Career: Diagnostician Specializing in Pediatrics

After her residency, Sienna worked at Edenbrook for a year before deciding to complete a fellowship in Pediatrics at Edenbrook, where she focused on diagnostics in children, particularly in conditions that are rare or difficult to diagnose.

During her fellowship, this field proved difficult mentally and emotionally, but Sienna’s resilience and strength, coupled with her passion for her patients, made her a leading figure in her field.

She stayed on at Edenbrook, where she bridged the gap between pediatrics and diagnostics.

Personal Life:

When all her friends started leaving Boston after residency, Sienna acted as the “glue” holding them together. She organized Zoom calls, visits, and group vacations. She also gets the best gossip as a result.

She stayed close with the whole group and regularly sees those who remained in Boston.

She still goes to see Danny’s mom for coffee and fresh baked goods.

Sienna met her husband through work. Her patient’s fourth-grade class organized a trip to show their support for their classmate. Andy was their teacher. Six months after they started dating, Sienna knew Andy was the one. She was baking cookies for her next meeting with Danny’s mom, and Andy not only offered to go with her but started helping her bake.

The gang is still very protective of Sienna – so much so that they all rushed to meet Andy to see if they approved. After all, only the best could deserve her.

When Sienna and Andy got married, everyone was so happy for them. But they were probably even happier a few years later when they started their family.

It took some adjustments, but Sienna adapted to her new work and family life balance like a pro – even if it meant she barely slept for those first few years.

Location: Boston, MA

Career: Diagnostician, Co-Head of the Diagnostics Team, Department Head

At the culmination of her residency, Charlie Greene probably could have gone anywhere she wanted, but she wanted to stay with her team. Even as she watched some of her friends go off to start new lives, she felt committed to Edenbrook.

However, it would have been easy for Ethan to stifle her career ambitions purely by taking up too much room and not leaving enough for her to grow. He wanted her to prosper though, so he had to step back when necessary.

Over time, the team dynamic shifted so that they were leading it together, so she deserved the title.

She proved to be an excellent doctor, teammate, researcher, and leader. So, when she was named head of the department many years later, it was an honor well deserved – even if it was one she later started to appreciate less once she realized the amount of paperwork involved.

She’s worked hard for everything she’s achieved, and she’s not done achieving it.

Personal Life:

Charlie married Ethan Ramsey, and after everything they’d been through, saying those vows came with a sigh of relief and joy.

Despite conversations about leaving Boston to be closer to family, they never did. Boston had become home.

They started a family with children, dogs, and a townhouse. They invited Ethan’s dad and Charlie’s parents to holidays, and Charlie’s friends had an open invitation to visit her.

It would be wrong to say that everything was easy, but they were happy.

Location: Boston, MA → Stanford, CA → Boston, MA

Career: Researcher & Attending at a Medical School & its Affiliated Hospital

Elijah went straight into research at Edenbrook after his residency. After a few years of learning from his coworkers and growing as a researcher, he published his research. He received the opportunity to leave Edenbrook and join a research team at Stanford University, and it was too good of an offer to pass up.

Elijah spent the next few years researching at Stanford as an academic, but once their research was published, he decided that pure academia wasn’t the right environment for him.

His impeccable research skills and high recommendations earned him job offers at university-affiliated teaching hospitals where he could do research and engage with patients. He accepted a position in Boston that met his research needs and brought him closer to home.

Elijah’s research contributions went on to help countless patients.

He continued to publish his research and lead several teams, all the way until he was leading his very own lab. By the end of his career, he was a top lecturer at a premier medical school.

Personal Life:

At the end of their residency, Elijah was the least afraid of the distance now separating him from his friends. His familiarity with his technology and his love for the gang meant that he was ready to keep them so digitally connected that they hardly noticed the separation.

Still, he missed them. And he missed Boston when he left, too.

Elijah was never too concerned about finding a partner, so he wouldn’t have minded ending up alone. In fact, for a long time, he thought he would.

Then, he met a fellow researcher, Alicia, at a convention. They bonded over their favorite comic books and their work. Though Alicia lived in Connecticut, they started dating, and within a few years, they were married in Boston. A few years later, they had kids and a shared google calendar blocking out their research days and family time.

Location: Miami, FL

Career: Surgeon

As the star resident, Bryce wasn’t particularly surprised when Edenbrook offered him a full-time position at the culmination of his residency. He fully intended it to take it, too.

But then there was the recruiter from Miami. He entertained the offer primarily for his ego, but something about it struck a nerve. One of his career idols was offering to take him under wing there, and even though Bryce had finished his residency, there was still so much he wanted to learn. He only visited to find out more – not because he intended to accept – but Miami allured him. The familiar heat, sea breeze, and electric energy captivated him.

It was a difficult decision, but ultimately, Bryce packed his bags and moved to Miami (even if he secretly cried about it and facetimed his friends constantly).

There, he prospered and honed his skills as a young surgeon.

When MC (Charlie) visits, it’s clear that Bryce and his mentor have a very similar relationship to that of Ethan and Naveen. So, it isn’t a surprise when Bryce assumes his mentor’s role after his retirement and heads the department – nor is it a surprise when Bryce’s surgical prowess became known outside Miami.

Bryce’s favorite achievement is the Lahela Method, a surgical method he developed, perfected, and popularized.

Personal Life:

Having finished his residency two years after everyone else, he thought he would be ready to leave Boston and his friends, but he wasn’t. They had become his family, and even with their strong bond and efforts to stay close, he missed them.

Leaving for Miami was difficult, but he made friends and kept in touch with the gang.

Bryce was too focused on work to ever start a serious relationship. He preferred casual flings and short romances to long-term relationships.

He’d been in Miami for two years when Kyra came into town for her extended visit. She only planned to stay in his guest room for two weeks, but she ended up staying for a month. He didn’t mind. In fact, he encouraged her to stay. He missed her and liked having her around – so much so that he convinced her to move to Miami.

Kyra was always looking for an adventure, and Miami looked like one. She moved in a few blocks from Bryce, and despite her intentions to soak up Miami, they basically spent all their time together.

He wasn’t sure when he fell in love with her.

But he did. Their friendship turned into a friendship with benefits. Then that got complicated with feelings. Then those feelings became more than feelings. And before either knew it, they were irrevocably in love. Despite never wanting to be tied down, they were tied to each other.

Bryce proposed, but it took them over a year to set a date because they were too busy living their crazy lives. They had so many plans – trips they wanted to take, a house they wanted to buy, and kids they might want to have – but they’re finding their way on their adventure.

Location: Miami, FL

Career: Influencer & Author

Though Kyra enjoyed working at Edenbrook (and really liked making money instead of incurring medical debt), she wouldn’t say that working in hospital administration was her dream.

She became restless, and she traded hospital administration for a series of other jobs.

Kyra started posting more and more on social media, and as she became more comfortable, she started being vulnerable about her health, the scars it left, and how she moved forward. She built a community of people experiencing similar things, and it sparked a passion in her.

Kyra dedicated her time to learning about social media to grow her following and continue sharing resources. A few of her posts went viral, and that was the catalyst to start her career.

After sharing content for a while, Kyra had the opportunity to publish her memoirs – a witty, funny look at her life that was inspiring, hilarious, and beloved by many.

Personal Life:

Kyra didn’t just become restless in her professional life. She also became restless in Boston. She did all the things to do in the city – explored all the crevices and exploited all the excitement. Even though she had been in remission for years, she still craved a full and exciting life.

She started traveling, often to the cities where she had friends who let her crash on their couch.

That’s how she got to Miami.

And how she inadvertently fell in love with Bryce Lahela.

Kyra and Bryce loved their life, and they lived it to the fullest. They took risks. They ate interesting dishes, went to exotic locations, and learned new things. They visited their friends and became the cool aunt and uncle to their families.

Kyra stayed in remission. To celebrate five cancer-free years, she and Bryce got matching buzz-cuts. On the next anniversary, they got matching tattoos.

Location: Washington D.C.

Career: Diagnostician & Activist

Jackie never intended to become an activist for healthcare reform, but once she stumbled into it, she developed a passion for the work after her unfortunate involvement with Panacea Labs. She even moved to D.C. to pursue lobbying.

She kept working as a diagnostician, but as her involvement in healthcare reform increased, she took a lesser load at the hospital so she could start working as an activist professionally. As a healthcare professional herself, she took her experience and used it to inform her activism and her lobbying to encourage Big Pharma reform.

She also worked with nonprofits to help struggling doctors and med students like herself find resources and emphasize ethics.

A woman on a mission, nothing could stop her.

Personal Life:

Though Jackie found her passion in D.C., she didn’t find the love of her life as easily. She was too busy to make anything work. She stumbled in and out of relationships. Her true companion became her dog and her high-rise apartment.

Jackie might not have been able to maintain a romance, but she maintained her friendships. She visited frequently and adored their children.

She liked being in charge, and she liked having things her way. It probably serves her right to have fallen in love with the only woman more stubborn than her.

Sonia was a public service lawyer, and she and Jackie spent their time bickering and adoring each other. They were both career-driven and supported each other’s mission.

Location: New York City, NY

Career: Head of Diagnostics

Aurora spent her time in Boston making peace with her aunt’s legacy, but at the end of Aurora’s residency, she was ready to start her career and make a mark of her own.

In New York, she started working for a diagnostics department, and she earned a spot on the diagnostics team once it was formed. She worked hard. She made a name for herself. She proved that Harper wasn’t the only Dr. Emery to keep an eye on.

Once on the team, she helped elevate it to the point that it rivaled her own hospital, Edenbrook. She often came into contact with her friend, MC (Charlie). The teams even competed on occasion.

Aurora beat MC by becoming the first to head a diagnostics team.

She was an excellent leader and an exemplary physician. The team prospered, and the rivalry with Edenbrook playfully continued.

Personal Life:

For Aurora, career and academic efforts came easily, but interpersonal affairs were treacherous. Still, after finding friends in Boston, she was determined to maintain those friendships and develop new ones in New York.

The friends she made in residency were now her family, and she kept in touch.

In New York, Aurora was slow to make friends, but she did. She formed a close bond with her team and shared an apartment with a team member for a time.

Like her aunt, Aurora went without romantic commitment – until she started research with Dr. Alice Montgomery. Aurora fell head over heels, and despite a few stops and starts, they started a happy, healthy relationship.

Location: Boston, MA → Brazil → Boston, MA

Career: Physical Therapist at Edenbrook

Personal Life

Rafael took the big leap and moved to Brazil. He spent two amazing years living in Brazil, traveling and making unforgettable memories before moving back to Boston.

Once back, he thought about saving up for more travels and spending his young adulthood moving around the globe, but after he got home, he couldn’t bear to leave for that long again. He opted for vacations instead and reinvested in his community.

Leaving his childhood neighborhood didn’t stop him from being an active community member. He volunteered regularly and made friends almost everywhere he went.

Of course, he also went back to his neighborhood to see his family regularly, but he liked having the independence of his own place and his own community.

Once he married and started talking about having children, Raf moved back to his childhood neighborhood so he could raise his child with the same level of community and love he experienced.

When everyone came back into town, they always stopped by his place for good food and an even better friend.

He stayed in touch with everyone, especially during his travels, and his friends had an open invitation to visit.

[goshi-kun]

Nekoma with an Intimidating Manager Who's Actually a Softie

Summary: you have a pretty intimidating aura but that doesn't stop the train of love that comes with managing the nekoma high volleyball club!

Nekoma x gn reader!! :)

Warnings: kuroo tetsurou 😐 jk i love him haa ha 

When you first started managing for Nekoma things started off really weird. There was some kind of tension between you all that you didn't quite understand.

The day you had been introduced to the team is when the tensions arose. You had known Kuroo since he was in one of your classes and he was extremely good at getting on every last nerve in your body- 😭 He finally got you to agree to become their manager after many weeks of pestering on his end.

***

"Oh, just so you guys are aware. I got someone to be our manager." Kuroo really didn't think it was gonna be as big of a deal as it was but everyone was immediately interested in who the new mystery manager was!

Questions like, "WHO!!??" "How do you know them?" "Are they cute??" "What's their name??" flew through the gym.

"Calm down jeez. Their name is Y/n and I advise against bombarding them with questions when they come by after practice tomorrow." Kuroo then left it at that. Only bothering to answer one of the many questions lmao.

It was the day after Kuroo brought you to the team's attention. You were kinda nervous about meeting them. They were all huge volleyball boys 🧍...you weren't scared exactly but you were worried that they would be put off by you. You had a bit of a reputation…

You didn't really talk to people. Not because you didn't like them just because you didn’t really care? You didn't need socializing to survive so you kinda kept to yourself most of the time.

People started to become pretty intimidated by you. You had no clue why, but you also didn't mind at the time and just let people think what they wanted.

So you can expect that when you walked into the gym for the first time your intimidating aura was the first thing the boys noticed.

You stood by the door you had just opened kinda confused on what to do next. All eyes were on you instantly and you were desperately trying to find Kuroo in the small crowd of GIANTS! You did eventually and Kuroo jogged over to you so he could introduce you to the team properly.

“Okay guys this is Y/n. They're gonna be our new manager so be normal please.” The gym was quiet for once. Everyone was giving you strange looks. They weren't necessarily glaring at you, but it was definitely uncomfortable in a way. You, wanting to make a good impression tried to lighten the mood.

“Woah, stare daggers at me any longer and I might bleed out.” Okay yeah it was morbid, but c’mon you were trying here!

Yeah things were definitely awkward to start out. No matter what you did the team was always so..intimidated by you? You weren’t quite sure. All you knew was that Yaku avoided you, Teketora was 10x more anxious near you than any other person you’ve seen him around, and Kenma wouldn’t even dare look your way. Kai and Kuroo tried to reassure you by saying that it was normal behavior for them, but you knew deep down what was up.

But, at the end of the day, you needed an extracurricular activity and you told Kuroo you would be a manager. Not wanting to go back on your word you decided to stay.

In the beginning of your volleyball journey it was like the manager and the team were in two separate worlds. The most interaction that would be between you all would be when you gave them water bottles. Jeez you even made that look scary. You didn't mean to be so intimidating or whatever, but it was just your pure nature as a person.

It worked for you in the end. You weren’t bothered by the lack of people's presence and actually felt unburdened by it at some points, but that didn’t mean you didn't want to at least become acquaintances with the team you would be spending a fair amount of time with.

You left practice early one afternoon and Kuroo took this as a chance to talk to the team about the awkward aura that was there every practice. It had been a week since you became manager and Kuroo couldn’t help but feel guilty. He was the one that got you into this predicament after all.

“Alright everybody! Gather up we need to talk about a few things.”

The group conversation started off with the “rudeness” that the team members were displaying. Leave it to Kuroo to add a lecture into what was supposed to be a simple conversation.

Kuroo placed his concerns and was curious as to why the tensions were so high. See Kuroo never looked at you as intimidating. A loner? Well sure, but that’s nothing he’s not used to. He meshes well with people like that. So you can only imagine his surprise when the team confides that they are actually pretty scared by your presence.

He totally thought they were dumbasses- cue another Kuroo mom lecture.

At the end you can say the team started looking at things from your perspective. They didn’t have much to say on the matter and the situation seemed to end there. That is, until next practice.

When you walked into the gym the following day you were greeted by one awkward wave from Inuoka. You waved back, but you were still confused. The energy between the players and you was still awkward, but now it kinda felt like..pity awkwardness? Whatever it was, it seriously weirded you out at first.

You decide to brush it off and continue with your manager duties. Until you get a call from your younger sister's school.

To your surprise it was your sister on the other end of the phone, not the school officials. She had gotten really hurt during her break period.

“What? Are you okay? Oh my god breathe it’s okay-” The panic in your voice could be heard throughout the gym and caught everyone's attention.

The conversation was mostly you worrying for your sister and making sure she was okay. After you were reassured you ended the call.

You were startled when you realized half of the team was looking at you with unreadable expressions. Was that- Was that shock on their faces?

“Um..uh Kuroo-san I’m sorry, but my younger sister needs me to pick her up. Our mother isn’t available. Is it alright if I leave?” You rush the words out of your mouth. You were made uncomfortable after realizing everyone heard you become your softer self while on the phone with your dear sister.

“Go ahead Y/n, no worries.” Kuroo was even surprised by your parent-like nature when it came to your younger sibling.

You exit the gym leaving the team beside themselves. Had they really read you the wrong way this whole time? In all honesty they felt extremely guilty. Even Kenma thought about how he had avoided you.

Now the next day was something else-

You enter the gym after your last class like normal, but somethings different. Your body is being pushed to the floor by..one..two..seven?? People?? Or maybe more! You couldn’t quite tell because you were being smothered in a group hug right as you walked through the doors.

“We’re sorry Y/n!!! We appreciate you!!” “We’ll never avoid you again!!” Yeah, they were babies and most certainly dumbasses, but you couldn’t deny that it felt good to have some support on your side. You finally felt accepted into this group of unique characters and it made your heart happy.

After that day things start becoming amazing. Your dynamic with the team is something people envied. You would help them practice and they would help you study, babysit, vent, whatever you needed they were there!

It’s known Nekoma isn’t the most popular group in the school, but the people who were more than non supporters made themselves less known when the school found out you were the manager. The team was grateful to say the least.

You were there to protect them from harm like some kind of hero and you were perfectly fine with that. It’s not like you were gonna go rumble with random kids to “defend the team's honor” -Kuroo’s words not yours. But it did feel nice to be somewhat of a protective blanket and they would give you the same energy in return.

Some weirdo bothering you? Well congrats you now have about 10 bodyguards. You’re welcome.

Kenma even lets you play his games when you’re bored during practice. He always reminds the team that you're the only one he tolerates-

Kuroo is still Kuroo and you were glad to have him a solid supporter during this whole thing. Yaku and Teketora warmed up extremely quickly. Yaku because you were another strong minded person he could agree with and Teketora because he thought you were “badass”.

The first years warmed up to you as well! You were honestly a parental figure and yeah it was weird getting used to having a whole volleyball team as your children, but hey that’s life.

In the end the team and you create an amazing dynamic. Yeah it was a bit of a rocky start, but that’s the past. You had many more memories to make with your new found family. <3

Thank you for reading 🤍

~~~

well um- yeah this is a thing. idk i had the urge to write something random so take this- 😭 okay love ya’ll stay hydrated 🤍

[randomingoftherandomness]

What I am hoping for from Winner is King ( 烽火流金)

Okay, so at this point, let’s just be reals here, Word of Honor has kinda set the bar for me in terms of standards to expect from the slew of danmei adaptations this year. Granted, I know that there are some who think the way it was adapted was not up to their standards and that it could have been done better, please don’t bring it on this post because this is not the post for it.

In this post, I’m going to talk about  Winner is King (*•̀ᴗ•́*)و ̑̑

Now, Sha Po Lang, the original novel, is for me one of the best things that I have read in a very long while. As such, I can be rather precious about what I am hoping to see come alive on the show and what I am hoping will be present in the portrayals I see. I know there are some concerns regarding the script and behind the scenes stuff - and they are very valid concerns that I feel too! - and with the recent announcement that instead of 45 episodes, we are only getting 40, I can foresee that there could be some rushed handlings of the very plotty nature of the source material and perhaps a sense that style can trump substance.

But as the actual show isn’t beaming right into our eyeballs just yet, here are some things I am looking forward to seeing in Winner is King and some things that I am crossing my fingers will make the final cut! 

Warning for some novel spoilers ahead. I’ll keep it under the read more.

Tagging @zhongwans because I said I would haha...

Things I am looking forward to:

The Changgu dynamic. I think it goes without saying that if the chemistry between your leads is a dud, the show doesn’t need to even pass Go, it can just shuffle itself off the board because it will be dead in the water. The Changgu dynamic has to be nailed; I need to see that self-doubt, that caring for the other but coming at it from the wrong way, that awkwardness that comes with trying to hold back the burden of your love and care because you don’t want to overwhelm the other... 

I need Gu Yun to be shamelessly sweet with his words and his coaxing of his Yan Wang from a sulk. I need Changgu saying “I hate you to death, Gu Yun” (pining)

Hu Ge Er. Let me just be clear here, I will cheer when she dies, but I hope that how they handle her characterisation will do her justice. There is no excusing the level of horrible that she is, but I hope that she isn’t written as a single dimension abusive piece of shit. Nuance, is what I am looking for. I need her to be the villain and the reason for Chang Geng.

I. NEED. THE. WOLF. ATTACK. SCENE. OUTSIDE. OF. YANHUI. TOWN. aka The First Time They Meet

There is legit no excuse for them to fuck this up, but the Steampunk elements. I would not know what else to say if they fuck this one thing up that is so integral and basic to the love of this IP. They cannot fuck this up. I am very sure I will join people in rioting if they do.

I need to see my Red Kites, my Heavy and Light Armours, my Dragons... I need to see the steam powered lamps, the iron puppets... I need them to get the Wind Slashers right. I need them to get this world-building right ok? I need to be dropped into this show and just swoon over just how accurate to imagination everything looks. Tencent does have the blessed ability to make very good looking productions, so on this note, I am assured. 

I need them to get the human element right; I need to understand why Gu Yun is the way he is, I need to know why the members of the Lin Yuan Pavillion will back Chang Geng and why they won’t. I need to know why Liao Chi would betray the Emperor. I need them to make me feel; I want them to make my heart hurt when Chang Geng’s heart is hurting, I want them to make me cry when Gu Yun is at his lowest and feels like he can’t go on. I want them to make me laugh, I want to feel for Shen Yi and Miss Chen’s awkward courting. 

On that note, I hope they get the Shen Yi and Gu Yun dynamic right too! These two are bros ok? Life and death, ride or die, best bros forever and I need, need them to nail just how integral these are to each other and how much they chose each other as family. I need the bickering, I need the protectiveness, I need the banter. 

I also need Chang Geng conspiring to marry Shen Yi off quickly so that he can have Gu Yun all to himself lol but lbr here if we can get an ending for this show from Tencent that even breathes the same atmosphere of air as satisfactory I will praise the heavens

The Bone of Impurity. I don’t know to what extent they will cover this or if they would do it the way the book does it, but this being an element that is integral to Chang Geng, I would be surprised if they dropped it entirely. So yeah, I am looking forward to seeing Chang Geng fretting and worrying and getting Bone of Impurity attacks.

Just the way that Gu Yun allows himself to be cared for my Chang Geng and how Chang Geng lets Gu Yun care for him

I want one acupuncture hedgehog scene please and thank you

I do want to see how they handle Chang Geng and his elder half-brother; how that dynamic unfolds will be something to pay some attention to, I think

Oh! That moment when Chang Geng kneels down in front of his brother and tells him to please bury any talk of his marriage and revealing to his brother the scars that he carries from his time living under Hu Ge Er’s roof (this is one brand of Whump that I promise you will hurt you very badly and it will be very good)

The argument at Jiangnan is something I really think will also make the final cut. It wouldn’t make sense to drop it seeing as this is a pivotal shift in their relationship where Chang Geng is finally holding his ground and not bending over backwards and believing everything his Yi Fu says. And this was the catalyst for their four year separation so yeah. I hope they do this justice.

I am not a betting person, but I high key bet that the scene between Gu Yun and the previous Emperor where he tells the man, “If you go, then I won’t have anyone left” and this being the moment that softens the dying fucker’s heart enough to give him a bracelet of beads that will be a major plot point towards the end

THE. BATTLE. SCENES.

Things I am hoping will happen:

At this point, speculation is that the point that tripped Winner Is King up for a recheck was the politics. This year is the 100th anniversary of the founding of the Communist Party in China and rumour has it that shit be sieving thick and so a lot of shows are erring on the side of caution. 

Politics is the highest likelihood of a recheck but I am hoping that it won’t be dumbed down or watered down too much because the politics and the way things played out in the book was absolutely divine and I really want to see that court intrigue and scheming and interplay unfold.

I’ve mentioned in my most recent podcast episode that I am banking on this show to scratch my itch for a Nirvana in Fire level of plottiness and infinite craftiness of the characters and I am crossing all fingers and toes for that to happen because All! The! Characters! Hold! Their! Own! And I need to see that play out please I am not asking for much...

The final sea battle with the Pope. I wouldn’t even know where they would even begin to shoot that scene but this is something I would love to see happen.

The Bone of Impurity attack after Gu Yun sneakily left the capital. That was the scene that caught me and hooked, lined and sinkered me for Chang Geng as a character. Listening to this scene be brought to life in the audio drama has really hammered it home that if they make this bit into the show, I will watch and weep if it is done right. 

Cao Niangzi being Cao Niangzi. I am thinking it might not happen the way I want, but I just need them to get them right.

Ge Chen peeing on the enemy’s face. Please. I laughed so hard. I need this. It will be a balm to my soul.

Please, I need Gu Yun’s soul crushing flute playing like I need Gong Jun to always be absolutely horrible at singing because baby this is your niche and this is your charm own it work it

I also need Gu Yun stealing a bamboo flute from a 10 year old because he got jealous please and thank you

Any flashback of Chang Geng and Hu Ge Er before Yanhui Town

I want to see that moment that Gu Yun hears first hand from someone who had knowledge of what Hu Ge Er would do to a baby Chang Geng and the horrible abuse she inflicted on him, because up to that point, he only knew that something went on, but never to the extent that revelation wrought unto him

Any of the Bone of Impurity moments; any mention of it, any visual representation of it... Gosh, just the idea of having the Bone of Impurity made visual is just... Ugh. Yes. Please. The suffering.

[bonus] Things I wish will happen but will probably not:

The hot spring scene or a version of it

An implication that baby cannibalism was involved in the making of a Bone of Impurity

The scene where they get to the goddess doll (the description of it in the book was so bone chilling and if they do this I will have nightmares, I’m just warning you)

I really, really want a scene where, after being crowned Emperor, Chang Geng goes to the frontlines to reclaim the South and upon hearing that he was there, Gu Yun immediately panicked like he was about to be caught with his pants down doing something illegal when all he did was ordered his subordinates to keep news of his injuries from being reported back to the capital

Any flashback of Chang Geng and Hu Ge Er before Yanhui Town; especially when they were with the Barbarians

I want to see some version of Hu Ge Er realising what she has done to her own child and to Chang Geng

Okay this got super long but what are you guys looking forward to seeing when Winner is King hits our screens? I’m looking forward to creating content for this fandom when it hits ೕ(˃̵ᴗ˂̵ ๑) In the meantime, sound off on what you’re expecting and what you’re maybe wary about!

[saphirered]

Hi there! You writings are wonderful. Please could you do an EssekXreader where the reader is from another high ranking den and is betrothed to Essek for political reasons. Both Essek and Reader aren't keen on the idea but eventually after spending time together realise they actually have feelings for each other, I'm thinking a bit like The Swan Princess. Please and thank you.

This is gonna be a two parter as the current draft already exceeds my usual word count limit 🙈 so stay tuned for part two in the next few days! Hope you enjoy 😘

Denial. It must be a cruel joke. Your family, your den they would never use you as a pawn in a bigger plot. This was all just a cruel joke or a move to assure their political advancement without the need to go through with this.

Anger. No. This is real. How dare they? How could they? They would use you like that? Without having the decency to let you know before the deal was made no less! Were it anyone else you’d crush them beneath your boot like the vermin they are for condemning you to a fate not of your own choosing. Perhaps you still might…

Bargain. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe you could just play your part and go your separate ways. A betrothal doesn’t have to end in a marriage. Even if it does, all that counts is appearances. Beyond that you could still have your own life right? You’d always be able to make the ‘me’ decision and wouldn’t have to take in account the ‘we’. Yes that should be right.

Depression. Your life is ruined! You’ll forever be tied to someone else without your consent. Your decisions will reflect on the many now. You’ll have to watch your every move and every choice or it may reflect terribly on your legacy. There’ll be expectations and can you ever live up to them while still being content with your own life or will you be sacrificing your happiness for something so stupid?

Acceptance. Acceptance…. Hell no!

Time for the first official meeting with Essek Thelyss in the context of your arrangement. You’d met many times before given both of your stations and reputations but now, you couldn’t help but feel a coldness towards the man regardless of what cordial or friendly dynamic you might have had in your limited social interactions.

Your respective families meet. You on your side, Essek on his. Both of you portray the facial expressions excepted of you; indifferent content. Nothing over excited nor anything remotely negative either but you’ve been raised a reader of the people and you could see through the cracks in Essek’s appearance. He’s just as happy with this arrangement as you are; not at all.

“It is a pleasure to meet you here today.” Essek speaks. The rules of engagement have not forgone any of you despite your discontent with this whole situation but for the sake of your watching families you’d play your parts. You’d put on a damn good show.

“You as well Shadowhand. Light be blessed we get to spend it in such magnificent company.” You can feel the approving look burn into the back of your head from your Denmother. They’d be none the wiser.

And so the negotiations began. All be damned if you did not at the very least were able to set some of your own terms in this arrangement. Fundings to sustain your lifestyle or a dowry were the least of your worries. You were more concerned with a place you could call your own, time to spend for yourself, security and stability and the ability to continue your life as is regardless of possible marriage. You would never give up your seat at the Bright Queen’s council and you’re very sure Essek wouldn’t give up his either.

Essek had to admit you played the game well. You’re a killer negotiator. Your persuasive side had shone at the Bastion more than once but those circumstances are wholly different than these. Your ability to make it sound like these ideas came from your den and not yourself, and have them think these suggestions were their ideas in the first place is simply remarkable. Remarkable and dangerous. Respect. But no matter how good of a talker you are, or he is for that matter, neither of you could get out of this.

Afternoon tea, a few lunches and dinners here and there and even a few events you were forced to attend with Essek as your escort under the careful watch of your dens. Whenever you were sure they were out of earshot you did not make it unknown neither of you wanted to be here and would prefer to be as far away from each other as possible.

Then there were the times you swore you might actually be able to like the Shadowhand. Councils held lead to many arguments, the Bright Queen watching the court fight among themselves for a next course of action, fundings to be divided and efforts to be pursued. You always kept a level head not allowing yourself to get worked up, or at least appear you weren’t but sometimes you could strangle the life out of some of these fools.

To your surprise in some of these occasions Essek would take your side and support your arguments, concerns and points brought up in debates. So he does know what’s good for him after all? Those moments were quickly ruined by the next point on the schedule where you’d be at opposing sides again. Usually you’d be able to work up an opponent in debate until their credibility would be questioned but Essek had caught onto your games and was no fool. If you could keep your cool, so could he. You had learned how to push his buttons as he had yours.

After a particularly heated debate the Bright Queen dismissed the dens, done with the bickering and infighting for the day. You couldn’t blame her even though there were still many things unspoken. You and Essek were at odds once more and you couldn’t be happier to be done for the day and head somewhere you wouldn’t be forced to interact with the asshole.

Conferring with your allies, trying to gain support of others, you grabbed your things ready to leave the Bastion. There he floated in the anti-chamber eyes cold focussed on you, waiting. You pretend you don’t notice and keep walking for the exit. Essek calls your name as you’re about to pass him. You don’t respond and keep going. He calls again. No response. He grabs your arm stopping you in your tracks. How you’d hoped to escape this confrontation.

“A moment of your time please.” The words leave his lips with an artificial, well-practiced warmth. Oh you’re fighting so hard to contain yourself but you too had a facade to keep up.

“Another time perhaps. I’ve grown quite exhausted after the day’s events. If you will excuse me.” You smile innocently placing your hand over his secured around your wrist. You pry your fingers beneath forcing him to release his grasp on you.

“Then allow me to escort you back home. Should you be able to muster up the strength to converse on our path I’d love nothing more than to just hear your voice.” Essek encases your hands between his. Eyes of the dens fall upon the two of you in the middle of the anti-chamber. Essek is known to be a reserved individual and these advances definitely stand out.

Oh so that’s the game we’re playing. Asshole move, Shadowhand. Two can play this game. If it’s the company you’re currently in he’s using against you you can do the same. You take a step closer to him standing on your tiptoes and lean in to press your lips to his cheek. You linger just a little and whisper into his ear.

“I have nothing to say to you.” You allow the distaste to bleed through your barely audible words before you pull away and take a step back. You couldn’t refuse his ‘generous offer’. It might make you look bad so you smile bright and nod even managing to call on a fake blush like some lovesick fool. From the corners of your eyes you notice the court members whisper among each other. Good. Let them talk. You link your arm through Essek’s still carrying your things.

“I believe I might have forgotten my transcripts of the day. Would you mind joining me in retrieving them?” So whatever the wizard needed to discuss with you he couldn’t say in public… Oh Essek what a mistake you made… That certainly offers you some opportunities to use to your advantage.

“Nonsense! I have my transcripts. You’re free to borrow them, or perhaps you’d like to study them with me? It might give us the opportunity to come to a compromise without wasting the Council’s time. After all, there’s much more pressing matters.” His expression might be a thankful one but if looks could kill… you’d be introduced into your next life this very second.

You begin leading Essek out of the building not allowing him any response or comeback for your previous statement. You walk head held high catching onto the praises of others. ‘A great match’? If only they knew…

Your walk continued in seething silence from Essek. Until you reached your home. Opening the door and leaning against the doorframe making sure no one else is in sight, you smirk at him.

“I’m curious. If I refused to part with these,” You hold up the transcripts. “What would you do? Would you go back and receive your own copies or would you go without them?” You leaf through the pages. It’s not like you needed them. You already had all you needed memorised so if anything they’d go into your archives for future reference and case study if necessary. Essek doesn’t dignify you with an answer yet so you continue to press his buttons.

“Would you be able to discredit my every word or counter them without the direct word for word reference? Would your arguments hold any weight against my own? Or would you be forced to depend on the vote or Light’s mercy, the Bright Queen’s verdict because if the latter, you’ve already lost, my dear.” You can’t hold back the smugness in your achievements. The look of defeat brought you satisfaction.

Essek bites his tongue. Even he knows that in theoretics you have the upper hand now. Recalling your words from memory alone wouldn’t be enough. He’d needed to cite them exactly providing the transcript in your possession. He couldn’t go back or it might arise questions, questions he couldn’t afford at this moment. What caught him off guard was you offering him the transcript still. He takes it before you can change your mind, the pages disappearing beneath his cloak.

“Luckily for you I’m not your enemy. Yes we might disagree on matters of state but at the end of the day we’re going to be stuck together and there’s nothing either of us can do about it.”

“What are you suggesting?” Essek doesn’t know wether he should be wary, outright suspicious, or glad you’ve come up with a plan amidst the chaos.

“A truce. If we keep these antics going it will lead to a war between the two of us. Are you really prepared to be expected to spend the rest of your life with someone you’ve grown to hate? Because I’m not. I’d rather sleep in my bed withe the comfort of knowing my partner will not stab me in the back or sabotage me at every opportunity he gets.” Partner. He. Not they. He. So not even you had a way out of this betrothal.

“Resentment grows much faster than affection.” Essek deadpans. Yes he sees your reasonings and you make some solid arguments but that doesn’t mean he has to trust your motives. He’s aware you in your position are much more dangerous than any spy, assassin or foreign force.

“Light be with me.” You’re exasperated. You’re offering an olive branch and this is his response? You pull him inside and close the door dropping the act entirely within the confines of your own home knowing no one will be watching you here.

“I am not offering you an epic enemies to lovers tale! I’m offering to make the best out of a situation neither of us actually want to be in! Marriage is just another contract. We do what is expected of us by following it to the letter and nothing more, nothing less. Love or affection is not part of that contract but respect is.” Essek takes in your words and considers them making sure you’re not twisting things in such a way you could later use against him or to your advantage.

“Your logic is sound and your arguments persuasive.” You raise your hand in an exasperated ‘thank you’ as he straightens your back and looks down at you.

“Very well. We have an agreement.” You’re on the verge of letting out a breath of relief at Essek agreeing to your terms and suggestions. You’d rather be sure this man isn’t going to drop you on a different plane in your sleep once you’ll be forced to share a home. You’d rather know you can trust him to have your back despite your grievances. At the end of the day, you both want to survive.

“Match made in Elysium.” Sarcasm is clear in your voice and the both of you cannot help but smile. More like match made in hell with the ‘letter of the law’ approach to navigating your predicament.

—————

Pacing back and forth fingers pressed to your lips in thought of Essek’s sitting room you ponder the terms of your agreement. Essek himself is seated on the couch leaning over a two sheets of paper, a long list of demands from both sides written on each.

“Next up housing.” You announce. Essek fiddles with the pen looking over the lists.

“I’m not willing to part with my towers unless something of equal or greater value is returned. I need space for my practices, experiments and studies.”

“I’ll agree to part with my own home under the terms you will share your personal resources with me and I will have amicable space for my own pursuits be this here or at another place of our mutual choosing.” Essek considers your terms on this matter. They are agreeable but this is a negotiation and neither of you are refraining from pushing for an outcome to suit yourself best.

“We will share my home then but we will both share our resources unless they pertain to exclusively personal matters or those of state when we inevitably find ourselves on opposing sides in the Bastion.” You stop pacing and turn to face Essek. He watches for your responses.

“I get my own tower.” You counter.

“That’s preposterous. I have need for certain rooms and areas for my studies and cannot relocate them.”

“Fine. Then I’ll get all unoccupied or unnecessary rooms.”

“You’ll get your own private bedchambers, study and sitting room just as I’ll have mine. These chambers will be exclusive and privacy to be respected. Other spaces save for my laboratory, for your own safety, are communal.” By the expression on your face Essek knows you’ve caught him in a loophole.

“Agreed. We’re entitled to our private spaces and will share the unspecified ones. Kitchen, dining room, living area… library…” You caught hime there… Essek’s expression turns sour. He’d have preferred to keep that one to himself but the agreement is fair.

“I wish to make an amendment.”

“Name your terms.”

“Some shelves will belong to my private collection. You will refrain from touching these tomes and scrolls without my explicit permission.” You ponder not entirely convinced. There’s nothing in there for you and Essek knows it. You raise an eyebrow for him to continue and concede on a previously negotiated term for this amendment to go through.

“And in return, you get to redecorate our communal spaces how you see fit, within the realms of reason.” Essek empathises the latter part of his statement.

“Agreeable.” You nod. “Next up; social engagements.”

The two of you go back and forth agreeing, adjusting, and conceding to come to an equal understanding and finalise your arrangement. Over all, it went surprisingly well. It certainly was a nice change of scene to have somewhat friendly negotiations without the added pressure of the dens and the Bright Queen herself watching you.

Essek makes for a good conversationalist and you might even dare say you enjoyed your afternoon setting the terms and conditions. Maybe you could be friends after all. That would be nice.

[androgynousblackbox]

Thoughts about the fifth season (spoilers)

Okay, so normally I would make these posts as neutral as possible because I want them to reach anyone who enjoys the show. Even if you are someone that really fucking hates incest ships you can read them and still have an idea of what I liked, what didn’t, etc, without me bringing up that element. You can disagree or agree without being reminded “oh, yeah, he is one of THOSE fans I don’t like” and that is totally fine by me. Curate your own online experience and all that. But this is season is quite literally about the relationship between Rick and Morty, so as a rickmorty shipper I just can’t separate that from what I enjoyed about it and thus I am going to be talking from that position during all of this. If that makes you uncomfortable, that is cool, I get it. You can skip this one if you want. Also, this is going to be a general big mess of thoughts and whatever because I have lots of them so, bear with me. -Some of the shippers I was with on a server will know this already, but from the very first episode I was sure we were going to have two major themes: 1. Rick is a flawed human being, not a god, not a ultra genius who is always destined to be on top of everything and knows how to get out of any situation. Just a man. And that is why he needs other people, which is somethig he had to accept and understand about himself, especially after the fourth season was all about dethroning him as the patriarch of the family and break away the illusions that Beth had about her own father. We have standed too long having Rick win on everything and coming out like a badass, so it’s time to kick him down a bit and let him lose. 2. Morty’s heart is always going to get fucked over, which is something that gets even more explored on the Planetina episode: he wants a place to belong with a person who doesn’t make him feel like the odd one out. Combine the two and my idea was: they want to assure us about their relationship on some kind of way, this is about them and what they feel regarding each other. Probably about why or how Rick became so jaded because why else include Rick freaking out about Mr Nimbus just mentioning Diane’s name and how much he changed, on a first episode no less, if this isn’t something we are setting up to see later. They explicitely brought someone from Rick’s past to talk about that past and make a point to tell us that changed Rick. -So, we have the two major player set up like this: on one hand, Morty aspires for that companionship but he is not willing to compromise his own moral for it, whatever he has left after starting to take on some Rick’s traits. He is desperate for that connection and if that means leaving Rick behind, so be it. Rick will still be there anyway. On othe other hand, Rick also wants that connection and companionship but it’s too disfunctional and can’t make it quite work because there is always a part of him that wants to keep distance. With the alien lady, evne with the crows, it’s all about escapism and pretend like everything is fine, it’s just fun and he doesn’t have to care because they are just having a good time together. He tried to do that too with BP by keeping away the info about his daughter, but he called his bluff because BP knew Rick too much to not see that comic. It’s rebound after rebound because he is missing the one person that can keep him in check, that truly knows what a piece of fucking shit he is and somehow still comes back to him. BP saw that, knew what was happening, and prefered to get the fuck away because he didn’t want to compromise his own values like that either. But Rick doesn’t have that problem with Morty. It truly is Rick and Morty one hundread years because, no matter how fucking bad it gets, they still choose one another. -Now, the way they keep building up this relationship, these connection, even regarding the rest of the family, to me is brilliant in restrospect because it perfectly illustrate how much they have changed from what they were before and what that means. Morty is more independent and less afraid, right, but that doesn’t make him more happier because he is still lonely and Rick is being reminded, over and over again, that he can’t be alone either. -Regarding the way Morty have behaved, I have seen some people being concerned about how Morty is becoming more independent and therefore not relying on Rick as much for anything, so it’s like what is the point of their relationship anymore. And like, to me it makes sense they show because they have already told us on past seasons that Morty has stopped viewing Rick with that wide eyed expression for a long time. He is learning from him and can defend himself, so why does he need Rick at al? The answer is because he loves him. You can read that as platonic or romantic or whatever, but for better or for worse Morty just loves Rick. You shouldn’t love people because you need them, or at least that is not a healthy basis for any relationship. I said this on another post: you cannot make anyone to be your center for your mental health like that, and I feel like they aware of this point, which I really fucking love because it would have been easy as fuck to write any pairing like that.  -If you stay for the “Behind of scenes” scenes, the writers talk about how this season is about building trust between Rick and Morty. So it starts with Morty going around cleaning up some of the messes Rick left behind without telling Rick and then fucking the portal gun because he doesn’t trust Rick to not “kill him” to finding out he did that, just like Rick in fact doesn’t trust Morty to not be doing unnecesary bullshit. So Morty, hurt because his suspicions were right, puts an ultimatum and Rick, being the petty fuck we all know him to be, takes it kind because of course he would. -What does Morty does immediately after this? Latch onto another sketchy as fuck older man whose name ends with Ick and hope that is the connection he craves, because after all “we are like brothers now.” So rebound for him, rebound for Rick, rebounds for the crows, rebounds for everyone. Yay. -I know it has been however many years have passed since this show started, and it was obvious for fucking everyone who watched it, but I do really like that they use the exact words for how their dynamic has been: unhealthy, toxic, abusive. Lack of trust, lack of boundaries, secrets. Just straight up calling it as it is. So they have both of them confronting that fact, being aware of it, and to top it all off, make Morty the only being now on their universe that knows everything about Rick, every single thing he has kept even from BP, like the true reason he joined to their guerilla group, and still makes the conscious choice to go after Rick even when, as far he was aware of at least, there was another option.  -So, okay, now what, might someone ask. We have put everything out there and we have talked about what is wrong about their relationship, does this mean we are doing the boring healthy bullshit now? Well, nope. Considering that Morty did went out of his way to guilt trip Rick into getting back and Rick admits point blank admits he get it, Morty refusing to demand things be different because he is just desperate... they are still and probably always going to be a condependent mess, but hey, a condependent mess that at least is kinda self aware about it and won’t pull the “I am going to break up with you on a whim” move again, hopefully. I do think and expect some things to change, but only as far their dynamic during adventures goes and regarding the rest of the family, with everyone being on the know that those two are an item neither of them can get in between. Rick is probably still going to want to keep some things in control, he is still not going to express his feelings to Morty directly and Morty is still going to be a little shit that will want for validation that won’t come his way. It’s a shithole house, but at leat it’s their home kind of thing, and personally, that is how I like it. -The “adventures as a metaphor for a relationship so this is not like a real break up” is real funny when you hear the writers literally calling it a break up and a relatonship. Also, the amount of times that they say “my partner”. Like, I am sorry, but how the fuck I am supposed to believe this wasn’t for the shippers, fucking how? Like even if you aren’t one, and you go “it’s a metaphor!! it’s not like an actual relationship, they are not saying they are together as a couple”, that is flimsy as fuck because we have determined already that Rick uses adventures as an extension for all his relationships. There is a intentional paralel between BP and Morty and how Rick treats the both of them, like he would do anything for them but still be kind of a lying piece of shit too, so it’s definitely canon on the sense -Omg, we had miniature cute Mortys who like crayons and also big hot adult Morty, fucking finally. I cannot fucking believe they wouldn’t know the blessing they were throwing to fandom with that one, they know what they are doing.  -Rick as a boy dressing on the same colors of Morty could have been a cute little detail, like aww, they are family, so they pass down those colors from one generation to another because family, but fuck all of that, let’s make it creepy and fucked up because why not. But it’s also interesting because if Ricks breeded Mortys and put those colors on them, isn’t that another way of saying “you are connected to us just as much as we are connected to you”? Because they didn’t had to chose those colors, but they did it because it meant something for them. On a very fucked up way, I think they might even feel themselves more fathers to Morty than even Beth, because many of them didn’t cared manipulating her in order to gain more Mortys even if they could just clone them easily. -”You all really are bred for forgiveness”... Not really, or else “Evil Morty” wouldn’t exist and Cop Rick, the good one, would have never been attacked by using the attachment of Ricks against him. But Morty had made his choice and that choice was Rick, and even then Rick cannot fucking believe it so he has to reduce it to his breeding. -So, the finite curve has been destroyed and almost all Ricks were killed, the ones that weren’t coincidentally fucking off to another place just when that happened. That means that now there is true infinite universe where Rick is not the smartest man on the universe, where Rick doesn’t even exist at all, so we may have adventures where other people where the smartest people on their universe and Rick could finally meet his equal or someone even worse.  -The final speech of Mr Poppybutthole is kinda the perfect ending to everything, because he is talking avoid being afraid of the people he loves finding the “true” self of him and not loving him anymore, but Morty did that and he still loves Rick and, listen, I have FEELINGS about it, okay.  -After exploring this, which was the true only canonical mistery of the whole series, while also dumping off the backstory of Rick so nobody has to theorize about it anymore, it feels like they going two routes: either we are dumping anything about serialized anything, at least for a while, and we are back to just silly adventures with asshole grandpa and traumatized kid, or... we are introducing another big baddie that we are going to drag to hell and back. Maybe Evil Jerry? That could be fun to explore on the show. My bet is on the second option because I think that is the kind of thing that Justin really enjoys doing and that is why it appears on Solar Opposites as well, with the whole Wall as a central points behind all the shenanigans of the aliens.  -The only misteries left are: the weird Rick that killed his family, if he wasn’t killed already on the Citadel, and Birdperson reunion with his daughter, for which he might ask Rick’s help in the future when he cools down or maybe Rick gets his daughter back for him on a ridiculous plan to make him return his calls, because that is something he is going to pull. The Jessica thing and her quest for becoming an actual character with her own thing going on. -This finale made rickmorty canon on all the ways it could without having them literally making out willingly, and after Naruto, I don’t think that is a line they are not willing to cross at some point in the future, even if it’s just a joke. They already did with the parasites. I honestly don’t even know how you can watch the show and think “fuck yeah, they hate those ships just as much as I do!”, because with the way the writers talk about it and literally this entire season being nothing but a building up for their relationship, I would have been turned if I didn’t ship it already.

[erinhime83]

So…so, since someone managed to get my muse all Sailor Moon happy, I figured I’d take the time to complete a couple of design sheets I’ve had sitting around for, like, a couple of years.  So, yeah, while this seems like this might have been an undertaking, they were all pretty much done around the same time as when the Sailor Aeolus design went up, except the last two.  I just had been too lazy to really finish them to be put on deviantArt.

I mean, it wasn’t that much of an undertaking to begin with, seeing as they’re all basically the same design, so it involved a lot of copy/pasting.  ;P

The only thing that I did to them for this was change their casual designs from their school uniforms to actual clothes because I had the idea of taking the school angle away and just make the story take place on, say, Aeolus, but I decided that doesn’t work 100% with what I have planned, but still.  Maybe they don’t have uniforms?  

I also did up the last two recently, but again, it didn’t take that much effort.  I just wanted to design the main villain, and then figured I might as well toss in her teammate as well.

Sailor Aeolus/Aeris Anemone/Erin O’Colley – CLEARLY, I didn’t do much to her since the last design other than changing up her civilian outfit like I mentioned.  I still love the idea of her hair being magically altered so no one knows she’s actually the princess Aeris (and I like how Aeris and Erin sound close enough that it’d make sense for her to adapt a more common name in hiding), but then the Millennium Crystal negates the magic and reveals the Aeolian royal family is quite alive and well.

Basically, when Aeris was young, her planet was attacked by the previous Sailor Nemesis, who did a hell of a lot of damage before the previous Sailor Aeolus (Aeris’ mother) faced her down.  The explosion that ended the fight ended Nemesis, and the common belief was that it ended Aeolus as well.  And since her family was nearby, they thought they had all died as well.  Aeolus took her family and hide them in order to protect them because of this, and the general idea was that the power of Aeolus was lost.

And yet, no one really thought much about the fact that this girl who was around Aeris’ age shows up at the Academy with the power of Aeolus, go figure.  They really just thought the power transferred to her instead of simply being reborn.  Erin (Erin being the nickname her commoner father gave her when she was born) is actually unremarkable as far as students are concerned – she’s a model student, sure, but she’s honestly just another face in the crowd to most people.  At least until it’s discovered she’s the lost princess of Aeolus.  For some odd reason, despite just having the power of Wind, Aeolus is considered extremely powerful and people want her power.  Doubly so with the Millennium Crystal.

Sailor Gaios/Terra Fitz – I think it’s funny how this character is now required to be dark skinned, no matter what form it is.  ;P  I like her eyeliner, and I have no idea why I gave it to her, lol.

So Terra is Erin’s best friend/roommate.  They started at the Academy at the same time, and have been together ever since.  Terra actually comes from a species that’s, like, 75% women, which, of course, changed the gender dynamic.  Since there’s so few men, no one really settles down with them because they need to be available to, you know, continue the species and all that.  Most couples are lesbian, obviously.

Terra comes from a different sort of family.  Her parents settles together, and even had another child.  Full blooded siblings are highly unusual.  As such, Terra’s upbringing was different than most of her people, and while she’s definitely a tomboy, she’s not exactly one-of-the-guys, either.  Mostly, this is important just because the previous Gaius was her aunt rather than her mother.  Her aunt never had any children, which is why the power went to her instead.

Terra is fiercely loyal to Erin, and people always think she has a crush on the redhead, but they’re really just BFFs.  Due to her tomboy nature, Terra is very hands on with combat, and is a bit of a tank in the group.

Aegir/Nereus Knight/Seamus Triteia/Patrick McHaley – Yeah, he’s got a lot of names.  >.<    But I guess it makes sense considering it’s the only male and he’s a villain hiding amongst the heroes.  Sorta.  

So before the attack on Aeolus, there was an uprising on Nereus that ended up displacing the Nereis royal family on Aeolus.  Seamus and Aeris basically grew up together because of this, resulting in them becoming super close.  However, when Aeolus was attacked, Seamus was captured and brought to the evil people in order to be brainwashed into helping them.

A little spoiler alert, but the brainwashing actually didn’t take full effect. He just sort of acts like it did because it makes his life a little easier. He developed a dark form of his power and took on the name Aegir, and fights alongside the villains for a while. However, they decided to have him infiltrate the Academy, and he took on the alias Patrick McHaley.  (Due to the fact that Nereids don’t believe in marriage, no one actually knows who Seamus’ father actually is, except for Seamus and his mother, so he adapts his father’s surname as his alias.)  

While at the Academy, he ends up becoming really close with Erin (of course), and decides to join her even before it’s revealed that she is actually his first love.  When he gains his own Millennium Crystal, it wipes away the evil form and reveals him to be Nereus Knight.  Except, like I said, he was never evil to begin with, so…yeah.  

Sailor Helios/Angelia De Helios – I really could have given her a more ‘alien’ form, but I figured I needed to separate her from Aerona, sadly.  

Sadly, I don’t have that much on the last members of the team.  She’s bubbly and happy and optimistic.  The only bit of drama she has going for her is the fact that her sister disappeared some time ago, and she’s been searching for her off and on when she can.  

Sailor Aethos/Sunny Colours – I really love Sunny’s design.  I think it’s funny I took the Iris name from her, but still gave her the rainbow hair, go figure.  But hey, she’s a soldier of light, and like refracts and it still totally works!  I really like her civilian outfit.  While it was stolen from someone else, I might have to find a use for it elsewhere…well, in this form, to be precise.  ^^;

Sunny probably has the most normal life.  Her sister doesn’t care for her very much, but otherwise, no much has happened in her life other than her becoming Sailor Aethos.  She enjoys being the guardian of her planet, and I believe her claim to fame is the fact that she’s the first to get a Millennium Crystal.

Sailor Erebus/Melody Draga- Melody is Erin’s cousin through her mother/Erin’s father.  Which is impressive, since her father is, like, 1000 years old.  Basically, her parents met because Seren has business on Aeolus, and Amelia was visiting her brother, and sort of caught the eye of Seren briefly.  They had a bit of fun which resulted in Amelia becoming pregnant and Seren bringing her back to Erebus with him.

Except she was one of many concubines/wives.  Melody was raised sort of separated from the rest of her half-siblings, although her father did care for her.  But she was a Halfling and the child of a commoner, so she was looked down upon.  So everyone was surprised when it turned out to be her that inherited the Erebus power.  

Melody is actually the only one who knows Erin’s true identity, but that’s mostly because she guessed/knew of Aeris’ nickname.  Aeris was pretty much her only friend growing up until her ‘death’, so she and Erin became really close at the Academy.  She’s also the second one to gain her Millennium Crystal.

Sailor Thanatos/Alex Lea – It’s sort of obvious that I based her hair off the Earthia Thanatians. I just thought it would be funny.  But I differentiated them by giving her normal skin.

Thanatos was an unknown member of the team until very recently.  They hadn’t known about the Academy or the other members for, like, ever, so the previous Thanatos’ have just sort of been winging it. They were rather surprised to learn they were actually a part of a team and very eager to send Alex off to the Academy to meet them.

The previous Thanatos is Alex’s grandmother, since the power skipped a generation.  She actually joined the Academy at the very start of the story, which is why her first form is a lot older than the others.  She hadn’t figured out her second form yet, but she figures it out very quickly with the help of the others.  She generally feels out of place because she hasn’t been around the whole time, but the others are very exciting to have her around and love being with her, and are very welcoming.

Sailor Nemesis/Topaz – Ugh, I love this design!  It absolutely sucks that she’s a villain.  >.<  Don’t ask me why I gave her species horns while trying to make everyone human-eque. I just thought it’d look cool.

So, obviously, Topaz lost her mother in the attack on Aeolus, and she one hundred percent blames Erin for this fact since she’s the one who now holds the power her mother sought.  Her entire reason for being is to get revenge for her mother’s death, which is one reason she sends Aegir to the Academy to get dirt on her.

She’s also completely in love with Seamus, which is one of many reasons he was abducted in the first place.  He obviously shows no feelings for her, since he’s always been in love with Aeris, but that doesn’t stop her from acting like they’re destined.  

She’s actually a very competent villain, but once Aeolus started to get involved in her schemes, she’s started to get a little sloppy, which is why, of course, the guardians are always able to get the upper hand over her.  I was thinking about giving her a Millennium form as well, but decided to keep that to be something only Aeolus and her team can achieve.

Sailor Eris/Morrisa de Helios – Again, I love this design sheet, and hate that the best designs are being used for the villains, lol.  This one has the best concept to boot.

So, obviously, Eris is Helios’ lost sister.  Basically, she was rather angry about the fact that her younger sister is the one who inherited the Helios power, and ran away.  She ended up coming across the previous Eris over there, who decided to bestow the power to her.

See, while the other powers are always inherited, usually between family members, the Eris power is always given.  It’s the reason why her secondary color is different from the previous form. Morrisa sort of hates playing second fiddle to Topaz, but she also doesn’t mind because she considers Topaz a close friend.

(I got a laugh at the thought of Topaz making them have sort of matching dressed and then wear the same shoes because she 100% would do something like that.)

Morrisa isn’t necessarily a bad person, just misguided and a little vengeful, which is why she works well with Topaz.  She’s not a huge fan of Aegir, but tolerates him for the most part, but feels hurt when he does got and betray him, since he was just always…there.)  Oh, and she does care for her little sister, which makes her missions interesting when she’s around.  

I was enjoying thinking about this story and was actually considering maybe doing a fan-fic for NaNo this year, lol.  But I figure I might as well toss up the designs somewhere rather than sitting on them for another three years, and it might as well be Tumblr, right? (Tumblr tends to keep the file size and not just have the shrinked version years later XD)

[hawkinsschoolcounselor]

(I hope you haven't already done this! Sorry if so.) What would you expect of the El/Will dynamic as far as potential for sibling rivalry? They're not kids anymore (see what I did there?), at least not little kids, but do you think Will would react in some surprising way if Joyce had a lot more time for El, who has longer-standing trauma to deal with? Thanks! ^_^

This is really a hard one for me to answer. For one, there honestly just isn’t a ton to go on to gauge what El and Will’s relationship will be like. Also, I do not have a particularly good relationship with my siblings, which may influence how I see things happening here. I do think we’ll see something akin to a sibling dynamic with them, but it’s difficult to really get a good read on what it would be. There’s any number of scenarios, all across the good/bad relationship spectrum, that I would find believable. That got me thinking.

Sibling relationships are rarely defined by any single dynamic. Granted, El and Will are not typical siblings, particularly in that they didn’t grow up together, but I think that point still stands. Anytime you live with someone, your feelings about them in the moment will vary. We see that Jonathan and Will have a good relationship, and that likely is accurate when they’re offscreen, too, but they likely have their moments of strife.

Personally, I think El and Will would both want to have a good relationship, but I think the reality would be harder than they realize. They’re both bringing a lot of emotional baggage with them, most of which doesn’t involve the other. Neither one is really in a particularly good place going into the move, and I think we were intentionally kept from seeing any real interactions between them. I think they want this dynamic to be a surprise to us.

In trying to merge all of the possibilities I can think of, I come to the conclusion that El and Will’s relationship will, hm, strained. I think they’ll both want to like each other, but that it won’t be as easy as they think. Both El and Will are kind-hearted people, and we’ve seen El show concern for him in the past. However, both carry some deep trauma, as you brought up, and are coming off a particularly rough summer.

Let’s get the elephant in the room out of the way: Mike. Both El and Will have a strong connection to Mike. Will’s story in season 3 was largely defined by his jealousy of El and Mike’s relationship. While they did break up, the ending of season 3 made it clear that El doesn’t quite realize that. We could easily see residual jealousy, especially if Mike calls El as much as he suggested he would.  On her end, El might be upset if Mike calls for Will instead. She’s shown herself to be possessive of his time previously. This could lead to some hard feelings between them. There’s also the possibility that El learns about Will being gay, but I feel like that’s a totally separate post in itself.

You mention El getting more of Joyce’s time, and I can see this as being a relevant issue, regardless of whether the show brings it into play. El and Joyce share a commonality in their fondness for Hopper. I can imagine them sharing a lot of stories about him and growing even closer. El is also a girl, and, perhaps, Joyce will like having a daughter. It would just be a different dynamic than having a son, one that might bring a pleasant (as opposed to a terrifying) change to her life. El will also have unique needs as a teenage girl that only Joyce would be able to help her with. All of this could lead to Joyce spending more time with El, perhaps leading to some resentment from Will.

Will had already went through a season where he felt left behind and, in fact, replaced by El. Having this happen with his own family would hurt him. It would be an unfortunate rehash of a previous story, but the possibilities are too much to ignore. Even Jonathan may find himself spending a lot of time trying to help El adjust. This is no knock at El. She’s going to be in a completely new situation, in a completely new place, with a new family, all after losing her dad. That’s a lot for anyone to deal with, let alone someone with a lifetime of trauma. Will may feel resentful that El is taking something else from him.

Also, there’s the possibility that, despite the script leak being amazingly fake, that Will might have some responsibility in El’s education. This could bring them closer together or further split them apart (or perhaps a mix of both).

I do think that season 4 will be partially driven by El and Will’s relationship. I think it will be a relationship that starts off on a positive note, hits a snag, gets caught up in whatever supernatural elements occur, then, ultimately, comes out being strong in the end.

I ultimately feel like they will end up in a situation where they need each other. They’ll find in each other someone who understands. They both have trauma, some of it shared, and they’ll be able to help each other with their pain. Maybe it’s just because I love the idea of them being a sibling power duo, but I want them to work together to win out not only over whatever the threat is in season 4, but over their pain.

Sigh, I’m not thrilled with how this came out, and I apologize. Maybe because of my family I’m just too used to siblings whose relationships are strained at best and antagonistic at worst. I want El and Will to have a great relationship. I think it’d be weird for them to show El showing concern for him in the past and not having it go somewhere. Still, Will has felt jealous of her, at the very least. I feel like those two things are clues to how the relationship will go. El will want to be close with him, but Will will have some residual resentment. He’d feel bad about it once he realizes he’s doing it, but he’s only human. Once they get over all of that, I think we’d see a more playful sibling relationship with light-hearted teasing and a “mess with one, you mess with both” attitude.

[zeppelin-and-unicorns]

Fanfic recommendations part six: 100% Alternate Universe stories.

Hey! It took me a while to post this and I’m sorry, got too caught up with, well, you know, life (ew). But I’m back!

All the stories listed in this are stories are 100% AU (yes, I’m including the Soulmate AU’s in this category). I’ve read and enjoyed them all.

Accidentally In Love by the bohemian flow.

Rachel Hyde was a witness to a strange romance that blossomed between her twin brother, Steven, and Jackie Burkhart, of all people. Her and Steven weren't the biggest fans of Jackie, but now, he loves her. How could Rachel possibly put up with her brother's girlfriend?

AU where Hyde has a sister. Not 100% focused on J/H, since it’s from Hyde’s sister POV, but it’s still pretty good.

This story is a WIP and it’s being updated constantly.

109k words, 28 chapters so far.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, OC/Kelso, OC/Eric, Eric/Donna.

A Different Start Could Lead to a Better End by SoftBubbles

Instead of Hyde meeting her as Kelso's annoying girlfriend, what if he met her as his annoying English partner, whom he quickly learns is more than she seems.

This story is not complete, it was last updated on July of 2020, and I pray for the author to come back to it one day, it’s a really good story.

Trigger warning for child abuse.

13k words, 14 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Bad Moon on the Rise by Badfanfic

Set around season 2. Jackie starts to develop feelings for Hyde, even though its the last thing she wants. Hyde is just trying to survive but is having difficulty controlling himself, especially around a certain cheerleader.

Hyde is a werewolf in this story. And THIS IS GOOD Y’ALL, I’ve read this like 10 times already.

Unfortunally, I think this story is abandoned, the last time the author updated was in June of 2020, but I still have hope, it’s really good and I’m DYING to read more. I absolutely adore stories with supernatural elements, and it’s so hard to find good ones in this fandom. Please read this.

13k words, 9 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Focus by Jenny7

After a metaphysical awakening, Hyde develops the ability to telepathically connect with a single stranger. What he doesn't expect is that the girl that he shares the connection with, a rich cheerleader with a complicated past, will forever alter his views on life and love.

SO GOOD. It’s complete and it has a sequel (that’s not complete but still worth the read), called Darlin, Walk Awhile With Me.

2k words, 19 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde.

History Rewritten by kezztip

What if Hyde got his Season 1 wish and stole Donna away from Eric? And then what if Eric had turned to a certain tiny cheerleader instead?

This story is complete, and if you have a soft spot for Eric/Jackie, than you might like this a lot.

81k words, 25 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Jackie/Eric, Hyde/Donna, Eric/Donna.

(I absolutely hate the Hyde and Donna pairing but it’s temporary so it’s okay).

Playing Pretend by isnotme

Caught up in her teenager concerns – and some wounds to heal, Jackie didn’t realize that her parents' marriage was crashing down for real, causing a major turnaround in her world.

.

In the edge of seventeen, Hyde had too much on his mind. With graduation coming so soon, he knew too well he was about to be kicked out of the Forman's home. But when Bud’s illegal activities came to knock on his door, Hyde saw his plans falling apart once again.

Or

An AU where Jackie and Hyde get themselves in one of those fake relationship situation and somewhere along the way, they find somethings in commun. Highly inspired in every cliché Rom Com ever made, including Netflix's most recents TATBILB and Isi and Ossi.

This story is a WIP and it’s being updated often.

33k words, 13 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna

Pretty in Wisconsin by BelleBae

Jackie Burkhart has a lot to deal with. Her dad is in prison, her mum can't get it together and one of her best friends is in love with her. Will she be able to sort everything out by Prom? Inspired by Pretty In Pink.

Cute and complete.

20k words, 23 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Rock You Like a Hurricane by zeppelinandunicorns (yours truly)

Alternative universe where Donna met Jackie before meeting Eric and the rest of basement gang.

Jackie and Donna are 16 and 17 when they finally met the four basement misfits after a Fleetwood Mac concert.

This story is a WIP, and I do not plan on abandoning it, I love it too much to do that.

77k words, 15 chapters so far.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna, background Red/Kitty and eventual Fez/Laurie and Kelso/Brooke.

Also Available on AO3

She Belongs to me series by QueenBookBuff

A universe where Kelso cared a lot more about Jackie and Hyde getting together and implications of a deeper background for both Jackie and Hyde and Kelso and Jackie.

This got me hooked, it’s really good, please read it.

It’s complete and there are sequels! They are called All Our Tomorrows

and The Scarlet and SJ Chronicles.

27k words, 7 works in total.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Summer Music Series by Wickedfetch

What if Hyde and Jackie didn't meet until 1985?

Complete.

7k words, 3 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Also Available on AO3

That 70s show by Zenmaster21

What if Jackie had dated Hyde from the beginning instead of Kelso? This is simply a re-write of the episodes had Jackie and Hyde always been together.

One of my favorites stories from the entire fandom.

Not complete, but please read it, it’s worth it.

Trigger warning for child abuse.

152k words, 37 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna

The Fifth Forman by BlueZeppelin

What if it wasn't just Eric and Laurie? What if they had another sibling? Like...Jackie? What would happen with Hyde? Would Eric be happy with his sister dating his best friend? Would Red like his daughter to be with one of the basement dumbasses?

This story is complete!!

52k words, 18 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

The One Where Jackie Moves In by Floweerchild96

Jackie has been living in New-York with her family but after her father goes to jail and her mother abandons her, she is forced to return to a town she thought she was done with for good. How will Jackie's reemergence in the basement effect the gangs lives?

A really good story, but unfortunally, it’s not complete. Still worth the read.

103k words, 20 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna.

Wall Around Your Heart by ourinvisibleink

Jackie Burkhart-Forman was adopted at almost ten years old by Red and Kitty, after her parents flee the country for drug trafficking crimes. Laurie grapples with addiction, Eric is messed up because of Red’s verbal abuse, Steven’s arrival is brought on by Jackie, Kelso is neglected, Fez is victim to racism, and Jackie befriends Jason, the new kid who happens to be gay.

This story is really good, but it deals with some serious stuff. I still love it.

Complete and it has a sequel called Plastar and Mortar.

52k words, 26 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna, Fez/Laurie, Red/Kitty.

One-shots:

A Little Less 70s, A Little More Modern AU by fairytalesandfolklore

A modern AU where the characters from That 70’s Show grew up in the 90’s x early 2000’s instead.

Cute as hell!!! Worth the read!

1k words.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

found a wife and a home (and a family that matters) by blackorchids

Hyde’s been part of the Forman family for years before they make him move in.

I placed this in the AU category because apparently Jackie and Hyde always dated, it doesn’t specify much.

1k words.

Rated G.

Pairings: background Jackie/Hyde and background Red/Kitty. This is not focused on the couples, but on Hyde’s relationship with the Forman’s.

Lady and The Tramp by soobeans

'See, I, myself, don't like you. I find you abrasive. But if I didn't know you, and I'd never talked to you, I'd think you were totally hot.'

In Point Place, Wisconsin, there are only three distinct areas. The Western area consists of the burnouts, thugs, outcasts, hopeless dreamers, poor people, and overall, tramps. The Eastern area holds the classy, rich, and more fortunate ladies and gentlemen. In between is where the two are forced to intermingle, but of course, they found a few ways to separate themselves.

8k words.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, some minor background Eric/Donna moments.

That Disco Episode: Zenmasters Style by springsteenicious

What if Hyde had learned how to dance to impress Jackie instead of Donna? And what if Jackie hadn’t been dating Kelso?

That Disco Episode, rewritten for Jackie and Hyde.

2k words.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Bonus: Soulmate AU’S:

I am so in love with Soulmate AU’s that I’m currently writing one, I wanted to make a special post just for this category but it would be too small so I just included it in here. 

Finders Keepers by nannygirl

It's said that before you find your soulmate you will find one of their lost items first, so what happens when Hyde finds a gold bracelet in The Formans' backyard? Will it lead him to his soulmate, someone who he's sure probably doesn't even exist?

This story is not complete, but worth the read.

5k words, 2 chapters.

Rated K+.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, some background Red/Kitty

It Takes Time to Fall in Love by yabookreader96

Jackie can't wait to meet her soulmate, but a dire mistake on her part leads her to mistakenly identify him as Michael, while Hyde watches his soulmate clock hit zero and immediately knows that it's Jackie. Years pass, Jackie with Michael, Hyde saying nothing as he knowingly watches from the side. Will this dynamic be permanent or will destiny bring the true soulmates together?

This story is complete.

18k words, 12 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, temporary Jackie/Kelso.

Mistaken Messages by MistyMountainHop

Jackie longs for her soulmate to accept her, and Hyde hopes his will leave him alone because he's in love with someone else. A stack of mystical index cards lets them communicate with their as-yet unidentified soulmates. But the more their soulmates write, the less control Jackie and Hyde seem to have over their fate.

This story is complete.

23k words, 5 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna

Also Available on AO3

Until We Get There by poetdameron

Running away from their own wedding is the craziest thing Hyde and Jackie have ever done together. But the tug he feels at his heart when realizing she doesn't want to marry him? The worst.

This story is complete.

39k words, 8 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Also Available on AO3

Voodooized by mc_1

Eric’s been noticing something weird going on between Jackie and Hyde. At a party one night, all of Eric’s suspicions are confirmed when the two become love-marked- an event that occurs when soulmates are ready to be together, resulting in a mark on the skin that bonds them together for life. The unlikely couple puzzle over how they could possibly be paired together as they struggle to understand each other.

This story is a WIP.

14k words, 4 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde. Eric/Donna

Where It Wasn’t Supposed To Be by moved-ao3

Jackie thinks it's a blessing, Hyde a curse. Set in an alternate universe where characters receive a list with their soulmate's worst qualities, Jackie and Hyde struggle to navigate their feelings for each other when everything else seems pitted against them.

Not complete, and it makes me want to cry, but it’s really good.

15k words, 5 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Also Available on AO3

One-shots:

all i need by orphan_account

"When he is six years old, the words 'Pudding Pop' appear on his wrist in the curliest, loopiest handwriting he's ever seen. There's even a little heart dotting the 'i'."

1k words.

The author didn’t rate this one, I would rate it as T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Blush by springsteenicious

On a person's eighteenth birthday, they swap bodies with their soulmate. Hyde doesn't have high hopes for his soulmate, but when he wakes up in a very pink room with posters and painted nails, his life is changed for the better.

4k words.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Also Available on AO3

I believe this is all!

I’ll repeat this at the end of every single post (seriously, I literally copy and paste this every single time): Speaking as someone who writes, it would be really cool if you guys decide to leave a review (or a comment, if the story is on AO3) in the stories you read, especially the unfinished ones. It really motivates the authors, and receiving a compliment is always a mood lifter. I’ve seen some authors updating stories after years because of nice reviews, so… yeah, this is just an idea.

Feel free to reply to this post if you think I left out a good story!

Next category: Christmas fics!

[noethicalconsumptionunderdisney]

Ranked: Hannah Montana — Jake Ryan Episodes

Here we are at last: Jake Ryan.  I think you all probably could’ve seen this coming, but I had to keep you waiting (and gather my thoughts a bit).  Of Miley’s canon love interests, Jake (Leslie) Ryan is the one that gets the most screentime overall, and happens to be my personal favorite match for her, so it only makes sense to dedicate a Ranked post to him.  As per usual, I’ll be revealing these rankings from Worst->Best, in reverse-order of how much I liked them.

Which brings us to probably the most unambiguous “Worst” ever:

“The End of the Jake As We Know It” (Season Four)

Yeah.  Of all the episodes on this list, this is the only one I actively dislike.  I don’t think this one was too much of a shock to anyone, but let me talk about why anyway:

This is the first and only time Jake shows up in Season 4.  He’s barely shown in Season 3, which we’ll talk about a little more further down, but he really just seems to appear solely to be dragged through the mud, and then unceremoniously shooed out so Miley can ride off into the sunset with Jesse. I don’t even necessarily have a problem with them breaking up.  I wouldn’t be happy about it, but you could at least give a better reason— you’ve done it before!  Twice!  And there’s a perfectly good reason right there in front of them: they’ve been apart for a while, they liked each other as kids, but now that they’re getting older and growing into separate lives, they’re growing apart.  But no, let’s just have him randomly cheat on her, because that’s totally a satisfying conclusion to a multi-season arc.  Calling one of your most beloved recurring characters a dick for 30 minutes is peak comedy, amirite?

This is also the only time in Season 4 that Oliver is actually an important part of an episode? He shows up for like 5 minutes in the Finale, but really, the Season 4 episode where he has the most screentime is this one.  And while there’s nothing wrong with how Oliver is written here, it just makes a little extra mad, because most of his screentime is focused on this dumbass plot development.  I can’t help but think, They brought back my man for this?! on both counts.

But let’s move on to less loathsome episodes, shall we?

“He Could Be The One” (Season Three)

Okay, I might catch some shit for this.  I know. This episode’s very popular.  I am aware of that.  And I don’t actually hate this episode, like with the other one.  I like the song, I like Miley asserting herself to her dad when it comes to her dating life, Lilly and Oliver are on-point (although that does kind of apply to the last episode too), and I even liked most of the interactions between Miley and Jake.  That said, here’s why I’m ranking it so low:

THE ONLY REASON IT EXISTS IS TO SET MILEY UP WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

Everything from the start of the episode to the weird reframing of Miley and Jake’s complicated past to the focus on Miley bonding with someone else, thinking about that someone else when she’s singing to Jake, talking about how she wants to kiss that someone else so badly except for the inconvenient fact that she’s with Jake, to the episode treating them like equivalent options that are just so hard to decide between despite she and Jesse barely knowing each other and having no history outside this episode… every bit of it is designed to make you like the other guy better and root for the other guy.  

And I guess if you haven’t watched the other episodes, or you have but it’s been awhile and you don’t remember them super-well, it’s easier to root for Jesse (ignoring all the problems that he himself has as a character, in this episode, even, but let’s not focus on that right now).  But this show can’t trick me that easily, sorry not sorry.

I “should” like this episode more, given that this is when they get back together, but they could’ve gotten them together differently.  Instead, we have Lilly berating Miley for going back to her ex after she rejects Jesse, we have Miley… tackling Jake?  Did anyone else find that odd?  Funny, yes, but weird as hell, and not really indicative of their dynamic.  And worst of all, we have them completely rewriting history and hoping we don’t notice.  It’s not respectful to list “we have so much history” as a reason to stay with Jake if you can’t be bothered to portray that history accurately.  So before we delve into that history a bit, let me make one thing abundantly clear:

Jake did not break Miley’s heart.  He’s also not the only one who’s ever fucked up or acted immaturely in their relationship. You wouldn’t know it from watching this, but she’s the one who broke up with him the only time they actually did date.  Yeah, it was kind of crappy of him to make her think he was marrying her friend so he could “Gotcha!” her on TV, and it wasn’t great of him to kiss her and then leave in Season 1, but that’s a far cry away from “breaking her heart.”  He literally never did.  The fact that they framed it that way is not only frustrating, but also some gross foreshadowing for what they ultimately did to his character later on.

That said, the way Jake actually is when he’s onscreen (i.e. when you look at how he actually acts and not just how other people are talking about him) is pretty in-character, funny even.  Miley and Jake still have their chemistry and their interactions are amazing apart from that weird tackling thing, and Jake reacting to the cat sweater was something I didn’t know I needed.  So objections aside, I do like this episode.  Just not as much as what’s to come.

“Jake… Another Little Piece of My Heart” (Season Three)

So while my previous entry was largely dedicated to explaining why it was ranked lower, this entry is going to be a defense of sorts, explaining why this episode, yeah might not be the best, but is a lot better than people remember, or at least is one I’m still very fond of.  

In Jake’s last appearance before this, Miley agreed to be “just friends” with him.  Here, we see them following up on that.  She calls him “one of [her] best friends,” and not only that, she shows that she knows him well enough to know why he, of all people, should not be getting married young.  “You change your phone plans every 6 weeks.”  How does she know this?  Because they kept in contact with each other.  They contact each other frequently enough for her to know that he changes his phone plan all the time.  They kept their promise!  They’re exes, yes, and there’s still tension there as we see in the end, but they genuinely do feel like friends, and not just like they’re awkwardly forcing it.

Miley is understandably pissed when he pranks her, but that’s only because she cares so much, and I do think there’s genuine concern there as a friend, even if she very likely was also jealous.  They’re comfortable around each other, they’ve gotten to know each other a lot better, and the hint that there’s still more lingering between them at the end is both promising and open-ended.  They don’t get back together right then… but they show that they could, because those feelings are still there, despite everything.

I wonder, though, if this episode would’ve worked better had it aired earlier.  We get indications that it was filmed earlier than some of the others, namely that scenes from it show up in the Opening Credits for that season, but for whatever reason, it didn’t air until much later.  I’m not sure why, but I do think things could’ve been better had they reintroduced her relationship with Jake (friendship with some lingering feelings) earlier on, had a few more “regular” episodes without him, and then given the two a proper arc later in the season rather than just one episode where they’re like, “We’re back together now!  But I also kind of like this other guy!  Oh no!” and then he’s not there the rest of the season.  But c’est la vie.  

Now onto the good stuff:

“Good Golly, Miss Dolly” (Season One)

Honestly, the way the entire Season 1 arc unfolds with them is so natural and beautifully done, I almost don’t feel like it’s fair to dissect them individually and split them up based on personal favorites, because they work best in order and as a unit. But I still have my opinions.

I’ve expressed previously why I love Dolly Parton’s appearance here and why she kills it, but in terms of Miley’s development with Jake, this one remains the most stagnant and frustrating. Painfully realistic, of course, and very in-character for everyone, but of all the Season 1 Jake episodes, this is the one that has the least Jake in it?  Which is not really why I’m ranking it lower, but it does put their dynamic into generic “girl clearly likes guy but is too proud and scared to admit her feelings” territory.  Which is necessary for their story to develop, but isn’t as fun as the episodes where we actually see why she hasn’t been “falling all over him” up to this point (meaning, her aversion to his personality).  And we pretty much end the episode right where we started: once again, Miley’s pining over him, wants to express her feelings for him, but feels like she can’t… only now she’s got a more solid reason not to.

“More Than A Zombie To Me” (Season One)

I was torn at first between this one and the Dolly one, but I ranked this one higher for a few reasons. For one, the storyline is a bit more complex and nuanced.  Lilly teases Miley for being in denial of her feelings for Jake, Miley rejects him when he asks her out… but then Hannah Montana has to kiss him.  She makes a case for why she shouldn’t have to kiss him… only to realize she wanted to when they actually listen to her.  Jake respects her “no” and asks someone else… only for her to realize she wanted him after all.  Miley fights with Lilly for Jake’s affections… only for her to realize that her friendship with Lilly is more important than whether or not she “gets the guy.”  

Beat for beat, Miley is always one step behind, not because she’s stupid, but because she has too much pride to see what’s right in front of her, to acknowledge her own feelings.  It’s not the most pleasant characterization for Miley, but it is very telling characterization, and it paints an interesting picture of her and her relationships to both Jake and Lilly— that she genuinely wants to mean what she says and say what she means, but her pride makes it harder for her to figure out what she actually wants.  She genuinely wants to be a decent, down-to-earth person, but sometimes she’s too self-centered to realize how she’s coming off and how she might be hurting others.

What’s most interesting here, though, is Lilly’s characterization and development in the Jake arc.  In this episode and the one before it, she’s among the girls who are “falling all over” Jake, even continuing to say “Sup” to him because he said it to her once like it’s their “special thing.”  She alternates between starstruck awe over Jake and amusement over Miley’s aversion to him, teasing Miley that she may be protesting too much, and shamelessly drooling all over him to Miley’s annoyance.  After this episode, we see her being the supportive friend and #1 Shipper On Deck for Jake and Miley… then firmly against Jake and Miley together after they break up the first time, and from that point on, genuinely over Jake and wanting what’s best for her best friend.  

But this episode… this is where we see the switch.  This is where we see Lilly giving Miley a fair shot, then taking Jake for herself when the opportunity presents itself.  This is where we see her doing something for herself for once and going beyond that “best friend” role… only to realize it’s not meant to be. That Jake only ever had eyes for Miley. That she was the canned fruit cup he settled for after all.  It’s painful and heartbreaking, and perhaps a less strong friendship wouldn’t be able to withstand it, but theirs does.  Because Lilly does.  Because Lilly knows that whatever Miley says, being with Jake would make her happy, and Jake wants Miley more than anyone else.  And she’s willing to do whatever it takes to help them be happy together… even if it means she doesn’t get the guy herself.  I think Lilly’s role in all this is so underrated, and she deserves massive credit for the maturity and development she displays here.

And of course, we have more characterization for Jake, where he’s… very much himself, but also better than Miley initially gives him credit for.  Yeah, he’s still hiding behind his ego and bravado, and he does initially say Miley must’ve been nervous to reject him when he asks her out a second time on the beach, but we also see him accepting that she doesn’t like him back (or so he thinks).  We see that he’s sweet to Hannah as a coworker, and then he confides in her that he likes Miley because she’s “cute, funny, smart, down-to-earth,” and because she sees him as a person, not as a superstar. I do think “moving on” from Miley by asking out her best friend, right in front of her, is kind of a dick move (or possibly a jealousy play), and he could’ve made a little more of an effort to be loyal to Lilly as she was his date, rather than being so obvious that he preferred Miley, but overall, I think this is a good episode for developing Jake as someone with hidden depths, and someone Miley could realistically fall for.  

(Also, the subplot is comedy gold from start to finish.)

“People Who Use People” (Season One)

Their first kiss! Yeah, there’s no getting around it: this one’s amazing.  Their banter is just on point from beginning to end.  We have a continuation of Jake and Hannah’s pleasant costar relationship, a continuation of Miley’s ever-more-obvious feelings for Jake, and we have a culmination of the tension between the two in an incredible scene. Once again, this does one of my favorite things: it turns the narrative on its head.  We know Miley used Willis to make Jake jealous, but now it’s revealed that Jake was doing the same thing with Holly all along.

“Holly?  She’s not my girlfriend.  We have a movie coming out, so we’ve been hanging out, it’s a publicity thing.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that before?!”

“Uhhh… well…  I-I think I—”

“Wait a minute, I know why.  Because you were trying to make me jealous.”

“Was not.”

“Was too.  Admit it, Jake, you like me.”

“No, you like me, just say it.”

“No, you say it!”

“No, you!”

“No, you!”

*cue Big Damn Kiss*

They spar with each other like this all episode, meeting each other on the same level beat for beat. And Lilly eating popcorn in the background and falling off her chair?  Let’s not lie to ourselves, we were all Lilly in this moment.  Ultimately, this isn’t the story of “how they got together,” because Jake leaves for a movie, but even that makes some sense.  He feels good that he got to kiss her before he left and doesn’t have to wonder what it would’ve been like, she feels angry that he kissed her when he knew he’d be leaving soon, and ultimately his acting career comes before him having a normal life, as it always sort of has, which unfortunately means it also has to come before Miley.  But once again, we have an open ending, a clear “not now” rather than a “never,” and a question to be potentially answered in the future: Will They, Might They, and Would It Work Out?  And of course, what’s next?

But before we get into that, let’s talk about where it all began:

#3: “New Kid in School” (Season One)

Who doesn’t love a good First Meeting, especially one that starts off with two prospective lovers starting off on the wrong foot?  What I love about them starting off on the wrong foot here, though, is that it’s not really due to misunderstandings.  On the contrary, Miley is the only person who knows exactly what’s going on— even better than Jake does, I’d argue, because he doesn’t even realize how arrogant he comes across, and Miley’s the only one willing to call him out on it.

This isn’t even particularly a shippy episode, apart from “Also, he thinks I’m cute, not that I care,” but I’d argue it’s better because it establishes them as characters first, and as Foils.  Both of them are celebrities attending normal school and who, in theory, want to be treated like normal kids, but while Jake talks the talk and still gets everything he wants, Miley walks the walk and has to lose her celebrity privileges in exchange for peace and privacy.  It’s understandable that Miley feels she’s gotten the short end of the stick, and it’s only later, after she’s opened her big mouth of course, when Jake confides in her that sometimes he really does wish he could be normal, it’s only then that she realizes she’s the lucky one.  

But of course it’s not too late for her, it’s too early in the show for that!  So we see her family coming together in this hilarious scene where they pretend they’re all crazy celebrity-impersonators.  As a side note, I like to think they didn’t buy the Elvis costume for this, but that Jackson just had it lying around already and was itching for an excuse to use it.  (Maybe he was Elvis for a previous Halloween, idk.)

In any case, the reason I rank this higher is that even though it doesn’t show that Miley and Jake like each other all that much, it shows why they could like each other, which in my opinion is more important.  I mean, ideally, you’d have both, but this does a good job of introducing Jake as someone who seems like just another egotistical celebrity Miley can’t stand, but underneath that, is someone who just might understand what she goes through better than anyone, and Miley is the perfect person to understand him right back.  

#2: “That’s What Friends Are For?” (Season Two)

The return of not one, but two iconic guest stars in the best and worst way: together.  Months after their breakup, Miley finds Jake at her doorstep after sparring with Mikayla, and is sure he’s only there to get her back… but he just wants to be friends.  Great!  Good, no drama!  That’s exactly what she wanted… right?

Even better, he invites her on the set of a talk show so he can reveal his new movie… and his new costar, her archrival Mikayla.  The worst part is, he chose Mikayla out of courtesy.  He doesn’t know Hannah and Mikayla hate each other, because they act friendly when they’re on-camera.  He did it because he values his relationship with Miley, and doesn’t want to ruin their friendship by inviting her to play his love interest.  And Miley… well, we all know Miley isn’t as okay with this as she pretends to be, and it only becomes more apparent as the episode goes on.

What I love about this is the role reversal this puts them in.  For once, Jake is the one being mature, and Miley is the one that needs to apologize and grow, and admits it.  It’s framed that way and everything.  It’s almost bittersweet to watch, because this was such a good step for them, and probably the most mature episode involving the two. To see them go backwards in development after this, to see Jake be raked through the coals by the writers, all that good will between them forgotten and retconned and burned to hell later on, there’s just something very bitterly tragic about it.  This episode was so important for them, not just as a relationship, but as people, and I wish that good will they had towards each other had remained and gotten a proper follow-up.

Of course, this was itself an excellent follow-up to…

#1: “Achy Jakey Heart” (Season Two)

Was it ever even a question? Jake Ryan returns in glorious fashion: falling from the sky, in a tux, down on one knee begging Miley’s forgiveness, with chocolates from the sky.  Say what you will, that man knows his way around a Big Romantic Gesture.  And he doesn’t stop there: muffins, “Jake steak,” a cardboard cutout, and barging in the front door in a literal knight costume, he asks what more he can do.   More importantly, he says, “You’ve dumped stuff on me, and you’ve yelled at me.  The one thing you haven’t done is tell me you don’t care about me.  Tell me that, and I’ll go away.”  Even after all this, he’s willing to respect her if the answer is “no.”  He just wants to make sure it’s “no” because she doesn’t want him, and not because she doesn’t believe he cares for her.  He does care for her, and he’s willing to do whatever it takes to prove it.  

He gets tested for this pretty much right away, fails in private, and then passes in public when Miley least expects him to.  After telling Miley he can’t take her to a movie premiere because he’s pretending to date his costar, he rejects his costar on live TV to confess his love for Miley.  He doesn’t do it expecting her to come back, rather, he admits his fault and accepts that for him, there’s no happy ending.  And Miley responds in the best way possible, showing up with a “Who says real life doesn’t have happy endings?” and a Big Damn Kiss of her own.

This is also when they confide in each other.  Jake tells her his real name is Leslie, and Miley tells him she’s Hannah Montana.  They’re vulnerable with each other for the first time in their relationship, and they understand each other better than ever. Unfortunately, it’s understanding, or lack thereof, that also leads to their demise.  

Jake wants to be a normal guy, or at least he thinks he does.  Miley feels to a certain extent that she is a normal girl, just a normal girl who happened to get famous.  And that disconnect, that difference hurts them.  Miley realizes that Jake doesn’t actually know what it’s like to be normal, and having to be with someone who can’t handle one night of it, as well as the pressure of being famous as Miley too, is what finally cracks them open.  I will say she could’ve handled it a lot better, and good on Jake for calling her out on her lack of communication, but in the end, their relationship is left with a mutual understanding: that Jake respects her secret, listened to what she had to say, and wants to improve.  Not so that he can get her back, but so that he can be “worthy of someone as terrific as” her.  

This also has ONE OF THE BEST SUBPLOTS OF ALL TIME.  Cheese jerky?  Capitalist commentary?  Jackson rolling in money and Rico being mad about it? Oliver and Jackson doing a rap together? Are you not entertained?  Like its main plot, this does end up reverting to the status quo by the end, but it’s done in a way that’s both crushingly realistic and brutally hilarious.  Overall, this episode?  One for the ages.

So there it is— every Jake Ryan episode, ranked.  I have a whole ton more I could say about Jake Ryan, Miley Stewart, and their overall dynamic (and probably will, this week lol nope), but I feel like this is a decent start that outlines my opinions in quite a bit of detail.  While not a perfect couple by any means, they sure as hell made the screen a lot more interesting.  And hey, the course of true love never did run smooth, why should they be any different?

[angeltrapz]

m sorry ur havin a rough night, but i come bearing Chainshipping asks 💙💙 I wld love to hear ur thoughts on Adam teaching Diana photography, n how Lawrence feels seein her bond w Adam! + also favorite lil things they do to surprise each other, when they know th other is havin a rough day but not admitting it, or just bc they thought th other wld like it— lil stuff to make each other smile. + bonus, as far as the polycule goes bc we’ve both kinda touched on tht it takes a lil while to warm up to th idea, how do u think tht conversation goes between Adam + Lawrence, n who is th first other member where Lawrence is like “oh hey, I love them too”

thank u,,, I appreciate it sm <33 I always love getting asks frm u!!

Adam + Diana bonding over photography:

ohhh my gosh that would be adorable!!! I feel like it takes a little while for Lawrence to feel comfortable with having Adam and Diana interact - not bc he doesn't trust Adam or think he'd be a bad influence, but just bc he wanted to be sure things were going to work out between them; he didn't want to put Diana through that, have her get attached to someone who might end up not sticking around (again, not bc he thought he and Adam would split! he just wanted to make sure they were established for a while is all). but the moment he does? ohhhh these two melt his heart on the regular.

I kind of have this belief that Adam is good with kids, but not even he knows why? he has a heart fr kids, he can't help it, but he certainly didn't see himself becoming involved w someone who already had children,, that being said he loves Diana, and she loves him just as much!! it's kind of similar to the Daniel situation but leaning more toward the parental side of things; she just thinks he's about the coolest adult she knows and it's very evident. so they get along really well and god does it make Lawrence happy - honestly, it only serves to make him fall harder. Adam lets Diana paint his nails and will paint hers, he builds pillow forts for them to hide in, he'll read to her before bed, things like that; it's honestly not a surprise that she's interested in his photography!

the very first time she asks him about it, it starts with her being like "this is really cool!! how did you get so good at doing that??" and Adam's just sort of like. You Think That's Cool?? and that's kind of when he starts to become aware of how highly Diana thinks of him,, he needs a whole moment later where he just hides his face in Lawrence's chest and breathes through it bc Holy Shit. this is also where it kinda starts to set in for him that like, this is his family. (the next time he has a moment like that is when she calls him dad for the first time, but that's later down the line!)

hdkjsaf anyway. I feel like he wld be really excited to share this with Diana!! knowing that she's genuinely interested in it helps a lot and the fact that she's such a visual/hands-on learner like himself also helps things along!! I really like the idea that he gets her one of those disposable cameras to kind of give her a chance to explore it herself, so like the three of them will be at the park, Adam and Lawrence sat on one of the benches (when Adam isn't chasing her around the playground), while Diana runs around (within their line of sight, of course) and takes pictures of everything she finds interesting + worth capturing and Lawrence just sort of sighs and says "she's having so much fun. I love you." and Adam's just. "I love you too,,, 🥺🥺" it's so overwhelmingly domestic that Adam just needs a second to sit w it,,

Diana's also a quick learner so it's really cool when they compare her pictures to ones she takes later on!! it's definitely something that serves to strengthen their bond and kind of the catalyst for Adam to realize Hey, Diana Loves Me Too (ESP bc I feel like Adam would be super nervous around her at first, due to being Lawrence's new partner/not Alison, so her approval actually does mean a lot to him,, I gotta be honest I think abt chainshipping + Diana family dynamics all the time)!!

for Lawrence it's just like. Diana's approval ALSO means the world to him. he Loves seeing his partner and his daughter getting along so well; Lawrence didn't ever really envision himself being divorced prior to their game (even if he and Alison had discussed it/at least a separation of sorts), so he's kind of unsure about navigating dating after something like that, especially where Diana is concerned, so to have her love Adam just as much as he does is so so important. he definitely tears up over it sometimes, he can't help it. these are his two favourite people.

-

little things they do fr each other:

for surprises I think they're relatively lowkey just bc neither of them really like Big surprises,, most times it consists of smth like "I saw this and thought of you!" or "I thought you'd like this so I picked it up!" and that's more than enough for them. occasionally though they Do like the spoil each other in their own special ways, so sometimes Lawrence will come home from work and the entire apartment is clean, there's music playing from that little stereo they have, and there's Adam in the kitchen with flour and brownie batter on his cheek and his shirt and in his hair bc maybe he's not the best cook, but he can bake (at least. brownies.) and Lawrence will just stand in the threshold of the kitchen fr a little bit after dropping off his coat and briefcase and lining up his shoes in the hallway, just watching Adam with this lovesick grin on his face until Adam finally turns around and sees him (he's not shocked, Lawrence always announces himself) and smiles back and it's so. <333

other times Adam will come home from a shoot to see Lawrence on the couch with Adam's favourite takeout, already in his pajamas and with their comfiest blanket next to him on the couch, and he's got a movie ready (usually The Princess Bride, as I've mentioned b4,,) and is just like "hey, I know you haven't eaten yet so I ordered in. wanna sit w me?" and of course Adam is always like of course I do!!! it's definitely one of those things where he's just smiling the whole time because this is a level of bliss he never saw himself reaching b4 Lawrence. he never imagined having someone to come home to, someone who loves him like this, and it's as simple as Lawrence making sure he eats + just wanting to take the time to relax w him while watching smth they both enjoy to make Adam realize this is love.

as for little things they do fr each other when they're having rough days? for Adam, I like the idea that Lawrence tosses one of his sweaters into the dryer for a little while so that it's warm when he takes it out, and then he brings it to wherever Adam has holed up while he rides out a shitty day and is just like "here, I know you're not having a good day so I brought you this. it's warm :)" and Adam is always just. "thank you" bc verbalizing things is hard on his bad days if he's not completely nonverbal (he does know the sign fr thank you + teaches it to Larry so he knows), but on the inside he's definitely just like 🥺🥺 ohhh my god I love you so much?? the other is that he'll make one of Adam's favourites for dinner because he firmly believes in the concept of comfort food serving to make things a little bit better. then they'll just sort of curl up on the couch or in bed and Adam will hide for a little while (like u've mentioned b4) until he feels good enough to at least lay his head on Lawrence's shoulder and watch him read/fill out crosswords (my fave hc concerning Lawrence is that. he likes them. he gets books of 'em Adam is so endeared by it).

for Lawrence, since he's the kind of person that throws himself into performing tasks (stress cleaning, paperwork, tending to things around the apartment, etc.) to keep his mind off of how upset he's feeling, I think the biggest thing Adam does is after a little while of Lawrence doing his thing, he'll come up behind him wherever he is and just kind of lead him away like "why don't you rest for a minute." and at first he wasn't rlly receptive to it, preferring to just sort of shake Adam off and be like "I'm okay, thank you for asking," even if he was very obviously Not Okay. eventually, though, all Adam has to do is put his hands on his shoulders and knead for a little bit before Lawrence just sighs and melts into it. he tenses up a lot, so his muscles are often really sore as a result, so when Adam does that it's a reminder to kind of sit back before that happens. the other, like you've also mentioned b4, is that Adam just holds Lawrence when he needs it, which is something he hadn't ever really experienced b4 but comes to appreciate very much. this is usually when Lawrence feels safest/the most seen + heard, so it's often where he cries it out, too.

otherwise it's just those little things; Lawrence will make Adam his cup of coffee in the morning, Adam will do Lawrence's tie for him b4 he heads off to work (his one weird ability, he supposes), holding the door open for each other when they're out and about, getting each other smth to drink + little snacks, stuff like that!! (one of my other favourites: sometimes when they go out for dates, Lawrence will pull Adam's chair out for him. Adam used to think smth like that wld be very stupid. when it's Lawrence, he comes to realize what was so endearing about it - not that he'd say that out loud tho)

-

polycule discussion:

I've actually thought abt this b4!! I feel like Adam wld be very very nervous abt it at first, just bc he knows it's something that a lot of ppl still consider to be unconventional + impossible, but he would definitely want to have that talk w Lawrence bc 1. that's his partner, and 2. of course he wants Lawrence to be aware of that/wants to hear what his feelings are. like u said though, he doesn't reject it entirely or anything like that - he just sort of needs time to understand it + see how it works, as it's absolutely smth he would have no prior familiarity with (esp being w Alison in a monogamous marriage).

the important thing here is Lawrence is comfortable asking questions. he might word things a little funny and might make Adam laugh a couple times, not unkindly, but he's genuinely so curious abt it and unafraid to ask (which is better than coming up with some false assumption)!! it's both delicate and not, which I think Adam wld prefer rather than it being too serious or bc of disapproval obviously. he always feels more comfortable in convos where they can still contain serious subject matter, but they can still laugh a little bit.

so it does take Lawrence a while to warm up to it, but not out of a place of ignorance/ridicule; he just needs to familiarize himself w it is all! and that makes Adam feel sooo much better abt it. of course there was never the intention not to tell Lawrence, but to have him accept it and maybe even consider it down the line does wonders to relax Adam.

I've actually thought abt who the first other member Lawrence kinda fell for wld be and I think it wld be Eric! it can definitely be partially attributed to the fact that bc Adam spends a lot of time around him (they ARE dating), Lawrence does too as a result, but there's more to their relationship than just being. boyfriend adjacent. they have things in common that they don't really w anyone else (i.e. being a parent that has been through a trap + had their kid directly endangered by Jigsaw and are helping them cope) and they kind of have very similar feelings (guilt/thinking things were their fault, feeling like they failed their kids, feeling like they're bad ppl like Jigsaw thought, things like that) so they bond through those things - and, of course, over both of them dating Adam.

u've mentioned this b4 + I agree w it so: I feel like Eric might kinda be the first person other than Adam to realize Lawrence's tendency to overwork himself to avoid having to confront his upset feelings. a big thing Eric does for him is he'll bring a little snack w him and maybe something to drink and he'll hand them off and be like "I know you're busy but you gotta remember to eat, I'm just gonna go chill over here," and then he'll just set himself up in a corner in the same room so that Lawrence isn't alone. he doesn't try to get him to stop, doesn't ask him what's wrong though it's clear he'd listen if Lawrence wanted to share, just makes sure he's taking care of himself + reminding him that ppl are there for him. and fr Lawrence that's kinda like. Oh. bc it's that silent type of understanding where they don't even have to announce it out loud. Lawrence doesn't feel the need to explain himself. having that not only w Adam, but Eric too, is definitely smth that sort of leads into that realization of "I think I love him too."

and there are moments where Lawrence will come to spend the night at Adam + Art?(it's up to you)/Eric's apartment when Eric falls asleep facing Lawrence while Adam is pressed up against his back and knowing the issues Eric has w his chronic insomnia + feeling safe enough to drift off to sleep easily, seeing the way being around Adam helps him relax and that being held leads him to sleep quicker than anything else, it just kinda makes Lawrence wanna hold him and not let go. he knows Eric wasn't shown that kind of tenderness often, that physical contact was something he was denied for so long, and it just. makes Lawrence Seethe that someone would ever do that to him, in this protective way that Lawrence can't deny feels a lot like love. it only ever increases when Eric wakes up screaming later and ends up with his face against Lawrence's neck once the tension fades away and he just sags against him, crying. Lawrence allows himself to hold Eric then, and he still feels like he never wants to let go. this man is so compassionate, so protective himself of the ones he loves and wld do anything to keep them safe. he is a big dog of a man that makes ppl feel held + understood and Lawrence loves him a little bit, he can't help it.

I think Lawrence finally fully realizes it when Eric stumbles across him having a panic attack bc he'd forgotten to turn the ringer off and it just so happened to go off at that moment. he's trembling and it's hard for him to breathe but Eric just kind of crouches down in front of him and is like "focus on me for a moment. can you do that?" and he rests his hands on Lawrence's upper arms. when Lawrence nods Eric takes one of his hands and places it on his chest n says "can you breathe with me?" and somehow, Lawrence steadily finds himself relaxing and able to draw more air in until he's not shaking as hard and he doesn't feel like he's sucking in air through a straw, and by then he's so exhausted by it all that he ends up with his forehead against Eric's sternum, and Eric just holds him, no words. and he says, "it's okay that it still upsets you, it's smth you can't help and that is fine. I just want you to know that." like he knew what Lawrence needed to hear, and it's just. oof. that's when Lawrence is just like Oh I See. I Love Him. I Love Him Too.

Adam is beyond delighted abt it when Lawrence actually tells him, and Lawrence can safely say that he's definitely more open to the idea after that!!

[stereogeekspodcast]

[Transcript] Season 2, Episode 2. Stereo Geeks Special: The CW’s Walker

We can't believe we're saying it, but we've enjoyed the first six episodes of The CW's Walker. What is this reboot of the 90s action show doing that's so unexpected and downright subversive? In this spoiler-free review of the first half of the opening season, the Stereo Geeks duo dive into why we're loving the show and why you should give it a try.

Walker promo image courtesy The CW.

Listen to the episode on Anchor.

Ron: Welcome to a new Stereo Geeks Special! In this episode we’ll be reviewing the first 6 episodes of The CW’s Walker.

I’m Ron.

Mon: And I’m Mon. Please note that this is a spoiler-filled review so if you haven’t caught up with the first 6 episodes, please watch them and return to our podcast!

[Continuum by Audionautix plays]

Ron: This show is adapted from the 1993 series, Walker, Texas Ranger. It was conceived by Jared Padalecki, and Anna Fricke is the showrunner. There are numerous women writing and directing the episodes. Despite the source material, this show is surprisingly subversive with regards to masculinity, gender roles, and race.

Mon: The original Walker, Texas Ranger TV show aired in the 90s, with Chuck Norris in the lead. The show was also inspired by a Chuck Norris film from the 1980s. So, as you can imagine, it was a punch-fest. Now we can't really attest to that, because we never saw it. We only ever caught the trailers on TV.

I have to say when you and I launched this podcast, I don't think we would have imagined that we would have even watched a single episode of the Walker reboot, forget actually dedicating an entire special to it. But here we are!

Ron: Well, I think part of the reason why we're actually talking about the show is because of Jared Padalecki. As Sam Winchester on Supernatural for 15 years, Padalecki has wormed his way into a lot of hearts.

But Walker is nothing like Supernatural and Cordell Walker, Jared Padalecki’s character on the show—yeah, he is no Sam Winchester.

Mon: The first episode really had me worried. It started off with a female character being fridged, and the entire storyline was confusing. Do you remember how many times I turned to you and said ‘I'm so confused. I'm so confused.’?

You were introduced to every character, and seemingly every character dynamic as well. All of that in the first 45 minutes. It was too much, and it was too messy. But the end of the episode really made us want to come back. And I think the success of this show really lies in the fact that every episode makes us want to come back and meet these characters, find out what they're doing and how are they surviving.

So, who are the characters?

Ron: As we’ve already mentioned, we have Jared Padalecki as Cordell Walker, the titular Texas Ranger. Alongside Cordell is his partner in crime—or in law enforcement— Lindsey Morgan’s Micki Ramirez. She is the first female Texas Ranger, and the first Latina Texas Ranger in the show.

Cordell’s wife, who we meet briefly in the first episode, and she returns in flashbacks in subsequent episodes, is Emily, played by Jared Padalecki’s real life wife Genevieve Padalecki. And fun fact, Jared and Genevieve met during Supernatural.

Keeping it in the Supernatural family, we have, Mitch Pileggi, playing Bonham, Cordell’s father. As Supernatural fans will remember. Mitch Pileggi played Sam and Dean's grandfather, Samuel Campbell in Supernatural.

We also meet Cordell’s mother, his children, his brother—who's also the ADA. And we also meet Coby Bell’s, Larry James, who is Cordell and Micki's captain, and has been Cordell’s long-suffering friend. There are several other characters that we meet as well. And all this happens in the first episode, so as you can imagine, it's a bit clunky.

From episode 2 onwards, it seems like they have a bit more focus. You don't have to meet every single character; they come in from time to time when they're needed in the story. And I think, overall, that kind of helped our connection with the show.

Not having watched the original, we don't really have a bouncing off point, but we do know that there was a lot of action, not much on the drama, not much on the emotions—there wasn't much human connection. I think a lot of people were hoping that they would just get something like that with this show. But Walker isn’t like that.

From the first episode onwards, it works really hard to balance the police procedural side with the family drama and dynamics. And six episodes in, I think it’s done a pretty good job.

Mon: It's been really successful in bringing these two rather disparate angles together. And what it does very well is to structurally interweave these two parallel storylines. We go from the investigation to the family drama and then we go back again, and it's not cyclical, as much as it is interwoven. And that structurally makes the episodes very interesting to watch.

Ron: But more importantly, the way they’ve balanced these two sides of Cordell’s life is actually pivotal to how the show proceeds, because Cordell is a single father now. He doesn't do a very good job of just being a Ranger, or just being a dad, and he's at the point where he's trying to figure out how to do those together. And it's actually quite amusing when you're watching it because you're like, ‘shouldn't you be with your kids right now?’ And then other times you're like ‘don’t you have a job to do?’

Mon: I feel like it's really important for us to see both these sides, not only of Cordell, but also of Micki, because it's always great to see how the job impacts the characters’ family dynamics, and the other way around. Because if you're being pulled out of your investigation because your kid did something ridiculous, or you're abandoning some kind of family trip because there's another bad guy on the loose, there will be explosions somewhere or the other. And it just makes it more relatable.

Also, we might be seeing some new pattern in The CW shows because Superman & Lois is doing something similar, right? And so's Black Lightning. They're constantly trying to show us what it's like to be a working parent. But since this is The CW, the working parents can’t just go into some office job— their office job happens to be being a Texas Ranger, or being superhero.

Ron: And that's really the crux of the show. So maybe that's why people aren't enjoying it because it isn't just, you know, fisticuffs and guns. This show is very much about subverting toxic masculinity. Walker isn’t pure as driven snow, he's definitely layered and tortured, and he does things that are questionable. But the important thing is that Micki, and the people around him, call him out on it. I especially love that about episode 6—which is fresh in our minds because we just saw it—but it's not something you see often.

Mon: I feel like in the pilot episode they kind of leaned in towards what people would have expected of Walker, being a reboot of the original Walker, Texas Ranger show. But it doesn't pan out like that, because as you said, toxic masculinity is nowhere over here.

But there are consequences to the actions that Walker takes in the pilot episode, which we see in episode 6, and that is a nuance that you need in the 21st century. We have moved beyond just watching people beat other people up. We need to know that there are people behind those fists, and that's what we’re finding out.

Ron: We started watching the show because Jared Padalecki was in it. But according to my research, Padalecki has been thinking about the show for a while.

Mon: I've been hearing about his name attached to a Walker reboot for a long time. And the only reason I think it finally got the green light is because Supernatural was announced to be coming to an end in 2020. It's been on hold for a while.

Ron: It's funny because in the initial concept apparently Padalecki was going to produce the show, and the Jensen Ackles who's going to be stepping in as Walker. [laughs]

Mon: I can see that. But you know, Ackles would have brought a kind of swagger that this version of Cordell Walker doesn't need. And I think it would have changed the dynamic a lot.

Ron: I totally agree with that, especially because Padalecki seems to have got the idea from reading a story about a policeman who walked away from his duties because he did not want to continue separating children from their parents, just because they were immigrants.

Mon: Wow.

Ron: Yeah.

Mon: That explains the undertone throughout.

Ron: Exactly.

Mon: We can't tell you too much…

Ron: …but it's what have you read that.

I'm actually very curious to see where this first season goes, because that kind of story is playing a certain part in this. We've seen it pop up quite a bit just in these first six episodes. Will they take it forward? How far will they go with that? Not sure.

Mon: It will be a bold move to really tackle immigration, immigrant problems, head on in a show like Walker. This is why we need a blank canvas. You do a reboot, you do something different. You bring it to the 21st century.

Ron: According to Padalecki’s interview with Variety, this is what we said: This is not a show about a martial artist kicking minorities in the face; this is a show about a legit Texan saying, ‘Hey, I need to hear the whole story before I make a decision.’ So this version is less about what goes through somebody’s fists and feet, and more about what goes through somebody’s head and heart.”

We've definitely seen that in the first six episodes, and following the events of the sixth episode, I think we're gonna see a lot more of that.

Mon: Exactly. They're not being completely in your face about immigrants and minority communities, how they're treated and the issues that they face, but that's definitely there.

Ron: So one of my concerns when I started watching the pilot episode was that, oh, we have a white family at the center of the story. The problem with having a completely white family is that everybody around them is also white, but this show doesn't do that.

For one, Micki, who is Cordell’s partner has a massive role; she's basically the second lead. We also have Captain James played by Coby Bell, who is a Black man, and he is trying to make a difference in his department. The Walker showrunner, Anna Fricke spoke to Variety about the characters of colour on the show: “This was always supposed to be a show that was set up to have conversations on both sides of the fence and that Walker is a character that can see things both ways — we call him the edge of the coin. We realized that unwittingly we were set up to have those conversations in the characters of Captain James, who is a Black man, and in Walker’s new partner, who is a Latinx woman.”

So, she went on to talk about the pilot episode especially, because it did get delayed in production. So they went back to the writers room, and they worked on a few things. So this is what she had to say about how the pilot was changed slightly to reflect the circumstances of 2020. “Given that we had the extra time, we tweaked the pilot slightly in that Captain James, as a newer captain who was promoted while Walker was gone on a case, is really here on a mission to bring progress into the department and to keep an eye on corruption.”

Now considering everything that we have seen in 2020 and the police violence that has been, well, it's been there in the US for a long time, but in 2020, it's just—you couldn't avoid it. So, the Black Lives Matter movement definitely had an impact on the show. I'm kind of surprised that there aren't other shows that are following the same example. 2020 threw everything out of balance, but writers rooms had the opportunity to really absorb everything that was happening around them. I like the fact that the Walker team went back and said, ‘You know what we can do something, we can show what's happening in the real world through our show’. And that's why, I guess, we’ve seeing so much of the subversion.

I think what we’ve seen till now is only a taste of what's to come, really.

Mon: Oh, I agree with you. Listening to what Anna Fricke had to say about Captain James, I want to see more of that, because right now, he's almost comic relief—which I love, I really love that about him. But you can tell that there is a serious story and a serious character simmering beneath what is seen.

And this is a really clever move by the writers room so far. They are going with the easy route—family drama and investigation, but they're slipping in these moments which are making you think, which are bringing the reality of the world into the fantasy of the show.

In the first episode, Micki highlights some of the racism that she's had to overcome to be a Texas Ranger. In episode two, Stella, Cordell’s daughter, she acknowledges her white privilege and how it lets her off the hook, but not her Latinx friend.

And throughout, we see the same thing—a person of color is accused of killing his boss. Did he really do it? This seems too easy; it's constantly happening in every episode. It's a pattern. And I feel like it is crescendoing to something major. Is it going to be a realization of just how harmful some of the Texas Rangers’ actions are in the real world? Or is it going to be something different? We don't know.

Ron: Whatever we've learned so far about the show is making me question why they've kept the name of the show, just Walker.

Mon: Ooooo. Good point.

Ron: Especially now that we know what the inspiration for the show was for Jared Padalecki. Hmmm.

Mon: Wow, that’s really making me think.

I really like how refreshing this show is. It could have just been an easy reboot; they could have just cruise controlled throughout the entire story. It could have been about guy loses his wife, he's drunk, he meets new partner, they build a romance, kids go on living their life—none of that is happening so far. There are real questions being asked here, and it's thought provoking.

It's entertaining but it's also thought provoking. And I like that; that's a good mix. I mean let's be honest, when you cast Jared Padalecki as Cordell Walker, you know you're going to get a different kind of hero. He's not just going to be broody. He's not just going to be an Action Man; there's going to be layers. And that's what we get.

He definitely comes across as somebody who is burdened by his loss. He's also a little bit arrogant, but he's coming to terms with the fact that he has made mistakes in his life; he's constantly continuing to make mistakes, and he has to address those. But he's also funny; because like, he's a real person.

He'll suddenly act out not realizing the consequences, or he'll say something because he got excited. He is so normal. And I really liked that because there are these instances of comic relief and you're like, ‘that came out of nowhere, but I really needed that’.

Ron: It's funny because we’ve kept mentioning how we watched the show because of Jared Padalecki and how, because he was Sam Winchester, it was just a natural progression. But watching Walker, I'm not getting anything of Sam Winchester. I'm commending Jared Padalecki for his performance because Sam Winchester was last year, Walker is just a few months later.

The person that Sam Winchester was, was kind of young, needed direction, always turned to his older brother. Walker isn't like that. Cordell is a grownass man with teenage children. Somehow I just can't get over that

Mon: And the fact that Sam Winchester was such a rule follower, whereas Cordell’s middle name is basically rule breaker. I just really like that. I mean, we know that an actor is supposed to be able to disappear into new roles, but it's always funny when you go from 15 years as one person and then suddenly he's just living in the boots of Cordell Walker.

Despite that, I have to say that the performances throughout are very The CW. Either people are speaking rather staccato, or they're a little bit singy-songy and melodious. I feel like they need to up the ante a little bit, because this kind of show, with its drama and its family dynamics, it requires a little bit more nuance. But it hasn't really affected how I enjoy the show.

Ron: I think for the most part, Jared Padalecki and Lindsey Morgan are doing a very good job. I love the chemistry between the two characters, they feel like their partners, and it makes it really fun to watch. The parents, played by Mitch Pileggi and Molly Hagan, that's a dynamic that I'm very interested in watching more of. I don't know where they're going with it, but it's not what I expected.

Mon: I feel like they’re teetering on the brink of being a soap opera with Abeline and Bonham, but they're constantly restraining, so I want to know what they're planning to do with them. Because I feel like Bonham, especially, he's changed since the pilot. He's not the person who we were introduced to during the pilot episode, and that's a good thing because I didn't like that guy. With Abeline, she's a very different kind of character, and I almost feel like she's an antihero,

Ron: Or is it Bonham who the antihero?

Mon: Oooooo

Ron: There is some tension between these two characters. We aren't given much information. They’re eking it out for the audience, and it's so unexpected. Every time they come on screen I'm just like, ‘What is going on what is happening with these two?’ Sometimes they're happy to be together, a lot of times they're not. I feel like we're gonna get to know something which is gonna change how we watch the show.

When it comes to acting, I think the young ones, Violet Brinson, who play Stella, and Kale Culley, who plays August, they've taken some time to settle into their roles. It's one of the same problems that we kind of have with Superman & Lois, where Superman and Lois are great to watch, but the children? Not so much.

Mon: Yeah, I would say the weakest link in the show is definitely Stella and August, especially August. I feel like they want to do something with this character, but he's just been left behind. With Stella, she's almost the conduit for some of the drama, some of the flashbacks, and some of the race-talk that is happening. But with August, he's not even an angsty teen; he's just there.

Ron: But I think that relates to how this show is gender swapping a lot of moments. Stella is basically the troublemaker, and it's an understandable reaction because she is grieving and her father wasn't there when she was grieving. So she's acting out just to get attention, which is something that teenagers do. August, on the other hand, is the ‘good’ child. He’s a saint. He doesn't do anything wrong. He immediately allows his father back into their lives and Stella is the one who's questioning, ‘why?’. This man was gone when we needed him. She wants August to stand up for them. But August doesn't. He wants to keep the piece. That's a fun little subversion that I’ve been wanting to see in shows but this one is giving it to us.

And then there are these other little things, like Stella is playing soccer. I have not seen soccer in an American TV show, so that's really unexpected. It's usually American football, or it’s lacrosse, like in Teen Wolf, but soccer? Not so much, so that's fun. You see August kind of helping with the cooking, but he's also very interested in photography. And that's a creative field that we usually see female characters get into. What's also quite interesting in Walker is that both Stella and August are taking after their mother. They do things that she used to like doing, that she was interested in, that they did with her. Their father, not so much, even though he was also absent so they would want to do something that he likes. But it seems like they're genetically predisposed to want to be like their mom, so that's fun.

From what we know of Emily, she was quite multitalented. She was a photographer. She was a great mom. She was a good friend; she was a wonderful wife; she was a handyman. And Walker, on the other hand, is terrible with tools. We don't usually get to see things like that.

Mon: In a way, Walker is defined by only two things: his job and his family. But Emily, despite having such curtailed screen time, is this fully-fledged character, who was so amazing in every way and everybody is like, kind of, always wishing that Emily was there, and not Walker. I don't know if they intended that as a subversion, but it sure comes across as that.

Ron: What Walker does well is that the subversion isn't just limited to the Walker family. Like we see Micki, is the Ranger, but her partner, Trey, is a nurse. Now, this is something that used to drive me up the wall about most shows that were, you know, in any way action-oriented, sci-fi, fantasy. Female characters were almost always relegated to the role of healer or nurturer, male characters got to go out there and fight. But here, it's exactly the opposite. Micki is the one who is going out and fighting, whereas Trey is the one who is there to help people and take care of them if things go bad.

Mon: And not just medically. He's also an emotional support for a lot of people. Like he's there for Stella, he's there for Walker. He's also there for Micki. So again, that's why we need a refreshing change from what we've always had. And I like that it’s the CW which is doing it because, yeah, they’re kind of on the map because of their superhero stuff, but we've always found that even with the superhero stuff, there have been times when we felt like they could have pushed some boundaries, but they didn't. And with this show, I'm not saying they're like, completely breaking every possible glass ceiling. I'm just saying that they're doing a very good job of making some cracks.

Ron: I mean there is a strip club scene which is not what it looks like. That's all I'm gonna say.

From episode 2 onwards, every story has been really, really exciting. So, from a writing point of view, the show is also doing a really good job. I've actually found myself surprised by the direction of some of the stories, and that's quite fun, considering we've watched a lot of police procedurals in our lives.

Mon: At this point, it's easy to get a little bit jaded with pop culture. This is our entertainment—action stuff, superhero stuff, we are for it. But you need to innovate. It's a tough landscape, there's so much new content coming out, so much of it is in the same genre. What I feel like with Walker is that, mostly because of Padalecki, he's gonna draw in a completely different crowd, which is the Supernatural crowd. And because it's on The CW, you're also getting eyeballs from an audience who is kind of watching Riverdale in the evenings. And then they got Walker. And you need that balance, because so much content is cruise control. And as we said, this show could easily have been that, but it wasn’t. And it's trying very hard not to.

As we said, there is a certain pattern, because in every episode, you're like, ‘Wait, did they just do that?’ And it makes you sit up and take notice and wonder, ‘okay in all these years, why did no other show have this particular scene?’ And more than anything else, I think that's what's making us come back. It's like, how are they innovating? How are they being more creative and more innovative with the same established storylines and dynamics.

Ron: I'm going to give Walker props for even trying to do things differently, because you just mentioned Riverdale, and that show is entertaining, but it's been so cliched from the very start. And considering its audience, I really would have wanted it to do something a little bit different. There have been times when I’ve watched Riverdal and I thought, ‘Oh okay, that's a little bit different.’ But honestly, it just doesn't try that hard.

Mon: No, in fact, some of the messaging in there is problematic to say the least. Young people are watching it, and, well, young people are on The CW a lot, and I do worry that they need to get a strong message about what's right, what's wrong and what you should be questioning,

And that's what Walker is doing. It is acknowledging the privilege of this family. But at the same time, it is also telling us that they have their own struggles. Are their struggles greater than other people? No. But this is the story that we’re being told, because we need the audience stand in, and as we know the easiest way for the audience to walk into a show is through somebody who apparently looks like them.

Ron: The people around the Walker family are people of color. So you have Micki, you have Trey, you have Captain James, Stella's friend, August’s possible love interest, they haven't got there yet. Even Cordell’s brother Liam, his partner is a person of color. So you've got this in with the Walker family, but around them, you’ve got all these people of color who we definitely are interested in and invested in. It could have easily been the other way around, and I would have liked that, but I'll take it.

Mon: I think the smart move by the writers has been that not only do we have an in with a white family, but we're also looking through their eyes to understand the different viewpoints of the people around them. And essentially what's happening is that no one is being made to feel alienated in a circumstance or an environment that they feel is their own. So, the fact that the white family has a ranch, and stuff like that okay, yeah, that's aspirational for a lot of people. But you also have the Black captain who is new. So you have that audience who is enjoying being part of a club, if you could say, that hasn't always represented them. And then you have, of course, with Micki, and the dichotomy of being a Texas Ranger, when the Texas Rangers are such a problem for the Latinx community. So it’s this inclusivity, which I guess we’re really, there for.

Ron: And that's all just within the first six episodes, so I really don't know where this show is going to be going. I'm very excited by its direction. And I'm really surprised that from all the shows that we've seen Walker is the one that's making us think, ‘well, this is doing something different’.

Mon: Yeah, and I think it's fortuitous that we are recording this episode after episode 6. That was some episode! A lot happened, they packed in a lot. There were a lot of twists and turns too; a lot of bombshells in there. And it's actually making us rethink how we have viewed some of the characters. There are some revelations coming and I don't think we're gonna like it.

Ron: Well, I for one, am totally invested in this show. Episode 6 felt like it was a turning point. According to Anna Fricke, the showrunner, things are gonna be happening. I cannot wait to find out what they are.

So, there you have it. We're really enjoying the first six episodes of Walker, which is not something we thought that we would be saying on our podcast.

Mon: But we’re glad we are. Because, you know what, if you haven't caught this show because you think it's not your kind of show, give it a shot. And give it a shot beyond just the pilot episode because you're in for a ride.

Ron: And some really great characters.

Mon: Absolutely.

Ron: Have you watched Walker? What did you think of it? We'd love to hear from you.

You can find us on Twitter @Stereo_Geeks. Or send us an email stereogeekspodcast@gmail.com. We hope you enjoyed this episode. And see you next week!

Mon: The Stereo Geeks logo was created using Canva. The music for our podcast comes courtesy Audionautix.

[Continuum by Audionautix plays]

Transcription by Otter.ai, Ron, and Mon.

[uservillanelle]

Killing Eve ― 3x01 (Review)

I didn’t rush to write this review right after the episode, as I sometimes need to rewatch the episode several times to actually appreciate it and spot a thing or two. I know, everybody’s writing these, their thoughts, so I’m sorry if some of them will be repetitive, but I do want to get my thoughts out! Soo shall we get to it?

Dasha

What is interesting to me is that they chose this flashback of Dasha being a gymnast in her early age as the very first scene of the episode. And let’s not forget, it is the first scene of the entire season, meaning it has to be very important one. I don’t think they brought her in just to play Villanelle’s next handler. She was her mentor before, which makes it a lot more personal to both of them. There’s more to her, I’m sure. So far I’m loving the dynamic between her and Villanelle. There’s this... old-friends reunited kind of vibe, but then again, they can be laughing one moment and trying to choke each other to death the next. In this aspect they are very similar. 

That brings me to Dasha’s killing style. It is unique, something we haven’t seen in the show before. It can only mean competition to Villanelle. And she’s so confident that her work is better than Dasha’s. Not only does she say it to Dasha, but later on copy her style during the spice kill ― which, by the way, I think is very underrated. 

Villanelle had to ask Dasha about her part of the deal, twice. Then she brought up the possibility of going back home ― back to Russia. It might be true, but I don’t think that’s everything she was promised. And it’s one more reason for us to keep watching to find out, hm?

The Wedding

All I can say about the wedding is ― WOW. I was looking forward to it and it didn’t disappoint. Actually, it’s the best part of the episode for me. Many people have said that it was ‘waste of potential’; ‘they only did it to set up a meeting with Dasha’; but really. I don’t think we would’ve gotten the Villanelle wedding in any other circumstance. Like, think about it. A wedding is not something Villanelle would normally do, right? She doesn’t care about such things, yet in this case she does it. Yes, she LOVES a good show and attention as well as being rich and have everything she ever wanted including having the power and control of it all. And since she’s getting over Eve, why not find another woman and marry her to prove to everyone and to herself, that she is totally over the Asian woman with amazing hair? She’s extra like that and I love it. And don’t get me started on the tuxedo blazer AND black tulle ruffle top. She wore THAT for her own wedding. Just thinking about it makes me want to go feral. 

Mooving on, the irony of Villanelle not only bringing up Eve during her wedding speech, but saying she is ‘so much happier now she’s dead’ while immedially afterwards glancing around the place almost as if she’s expecting to see Eve. She hopes she’s there... and it makes me wonder, what if Eve actually was there? What if she somehow made it to Villanelle’s wedding and just... can you imagine? What their interaction would look like? Plus having MARIA there the entire time and the guests? Damn. 

Then there’s casual Villanelle simply enjoying her wedding cake, because why the hell not? And on top of that ignoring her new wife during the dance. I mean... this is SUCH Villanelle thing to do. She couldn’t care any less. Then again we are reminded of how awkward/uncomfortable she could get around people when she’s being.. more or less herself. I haven’t seen her like that for a hot minute. She has always been brilliant in slipping into other groups of people, pretending to be a part of a conversation, it never really was an issue for her. Yet this time she’s not really pretending to be someone else. She is Villanelle and yes, she is awkward. I love that we got to see that bit. 

And of course... it wouldn’t be Villanelle’s wedding if there wasn’t a fight involved. Why not start a fight herself? It’s exactly what she did and having Dasha show up only highlighted the wedding scene even more. It wasn’t all about Dasha being there, it was about Villanelle trying to prove to herself that she’s finally moving on and I, personaly, needed that. It’s a shame the wedding scene ended so quickly, I mean we could’ve gotten a kiss or two, since it’s a damn wedding! Though I’m still really glad we got to see it. We actually got to steal a glance at Villanelle’s wedding. That sounds so surreal on itself. Are we sure they didn’t take this from any of the fanfics? 

Carolyn

(warning: possible spoilers/predictions ahead)

She’s still a very shady lady. Carolyn must be the most mysterious character on the show, based on how little we know about her, her work and her family. I’m glad that someone is finally confronting her about the previous operation in Rome. What’s even better ― Hugo sued MI6 and he has EVERY right to do so. The entire mission was a blood bath and someone has to answer for it. Yet, despite given circumstances, Carolyn remains completely still during all the accusations she has received and even refuses to apologize during her conversation with Kenny. None of the previous events that took place seem to be valuable and important enough for her. And that makes me wonder.. that maybe the Twelve ordered Kenny’s death to stop any further unofficial investigations AND to punish Carolyn, because Kenny’s all she has, right?

Well, now they will be bringing up Carolyns daughter ― Geraldine. Up to this point we knew that Kenny was Carolyn’s only child, but since he’s gone now, there has to be someone else related to Carolyn and we got Geraldine. From what we know now, they do not have a great relationship which makes me even more excited to see them interacting. 

Since the Twelve put a hit on Kenny... I’m starting to think that maybe Carolyn is next on their list, and possibly Konstantin. In S3 trailer we got a quick shot of Carolyn in a car with a driver. And there’s Villanelle, pretending to be a police officer, chasing someone down. If I’m correct, Villanelle will come after Carolyn and will try to assassinate her. Now why would Villanelle try to kill Carolyn? Either she will find out something related to Eve and Carolyn being involved, maybe wanting to take revenge? It’s not very likely is it? But the Twelve deiciding to take out Carolyn, and Villanelle doing the job sounds more like it. At least to me.

Eve

First off... the scene in the store is not only the first scene of Eve we see in this episode, but it shows exactly where she is right now. Where her mind is, how she’s dealing with everything around her. Cearly, she’s done with everything, running on auto-pilot for the most part of it. She’s one huge mood. Eve really must be the most relatable character for us as viewers. If something like this happened to us... we would basically be Eve. 

It’s been 6 months and that’s the Eve we see. She’s struggling. And she should be. She almost died and now everything seems to be reminding her of Villanelle. The song in the store, the cashier’s talking about spaghtetti and Rome?! Then the other cooks at the restaurant talking about one of their’s crush and how it started with infatuation and now it’s love. Everything about it screams Villanelle. We know it. Eve knows it. And most importantly... the SCAR itself. No matter where she goes, what she does... she won’t be able to erase Villanelle. She has been scarred for life and so was Villanelle and guys... that is just so brilliant. They are meant for one another and that’s a fact. Either they will end up together (hopefully) and somehow manage to create some kind of future together or they will die together. Either way.. they can’t hide from one another and that makes their next meeting so... so special and important and intense and all of the other things. I simply cannot wait.

Knowing how the episode ended, I didn’t think I’d appreciate Eve and Kenny’s scene together so much. It’s so deep and sincere and reveals a lot about what happened and where they are separately and together. I’m glad their first and last interaction this season was a light, positive one. They even talked about getting beers at the office during weekends. And knowing that.. Kenny was basically the only person who understood Eve and where she’s coming from, his death is exactly what can and WILL push Eve forward in investigating the Twelve and eventually reuniting with Villanelle. Back to S1, when Bill was killed, Eve was so determined to catch Villanelle and ‘kill her with her bare hands’ that no one seemed to be able to stop her. So this time... will be similar to it, if not even greater. 

Villanelle

Soo... Oksana wants to be a Keeper. Oksana the Keeper! It actually makes sense to some extent, that she will eventually want to get a ‘higher’ position in the industry and why not be the Keeper then. She has always wanted power and control and Keepers have that. They hold valuable information about the organisation that no one else knows. It’s a very important and dangerous position too. I can see why she’d want to be a Keeper, and not only that... she is still curious about who is in charge. How the whole system works. Though, at the same time.. knowing Villanelle, this might get tricky. She’s still very childish and impulsive and all other things.. she still needs to be handled by someone. That’s why I’m a bit concerned that if she ends up becoming a Keeper or having to handle other assassins (which she will, in next episode), things will go terribly wrong. I hope I’m wrong about this, because god, do I want to see Villanelle as a Keeper and continue being the top boss bitch in the industry.

Her confidence continues to fascinate me. Especially her confidence around Dasha. She knows she’s better than her and that’s all there is to it. Not only she says it but she proves that by her first kill this season. I honestly can’t wait to see her future kills, because so far it looks very promising.

Konstantin

Only a couple of scenes of the show’s dad this episode. Apparently he has several phones which he is struggling to deal with. He’s living several lives and that shows. In S2 he was all determined to get back to his family. But what we see in this episode is that he’s not with his family anymore. He’s working again. And based on Irina’s voice mail, he and his wife are separated. His wife has a boyfriend now and Irina is there with them. (I hope they will bring her back, what an iconic, hilarious yet annoying child) 

Konstantin receives several shady messages, one of which reads “time to go fishing”. It can mean literally anything. But for some reason I’m feeling that they want us to think he had something to do with Kenny’s death. It could be him, it could be an assassin Konstantin is handling right now. Or it’s not him at all, but we believe it’s him based of what we saw so far. Too many questions and not enough answers so far. 

He was the Twelve’s target back in S1 and had to stay low during S2 as a “dead man” so now.. I’m not really sure what his status is. Some of us saw the leaked photos of S3 finale and what might possibly happen... and that just brings me back to my previous point of Carolyn and Konstantin being the Twelve’s targets this season. Will they survive? And if they do... how? If they don’t... does that mean Villanelle and Eve will now be completely by their own and possibly on a run from the Twelve?!

Kenny

There’s not really much to say here. We ALL loved our dear Kenny. He’s probably the most innocent character on the show and he had to go. Now, I don’t believe his death was done for shock value. Not his character. A huge, meaningful character had to die in order for the rest of characters to get moving. For the entire story to move forward. They are setting up a serious plot here and I am excited, despite being really upset about Kenny’s death. 

I think Eve will be the mostly affected character in the show by his death. Carolyn doesn’t seem to be very affectonate towards her son, but hopefully it will make her realize just how big of a trouble she in. Eve, however, will be forced to get back to investigate the Twelve and she will not stop until she does so. She’s all by herself now. The determination, the anger as well as other feelings will drive her this season to get the much needed answers and get to the bottom of the whole thing. Meanwhile... Villanelle seeks information and control as well. She is trying to investigate the Twelve in her own way. So why not pair them up?

Overall thoughts

As many have said it, the episode felt different to me as well. I think that’s mostly because we have set our standards so high, that we immediately become disappointed if the episode doesn’t deliver as much murder, Eve/Villanelle scenes or something else we might be expecting in particular. 

I found myself wanting to compare the episode with other seasons and that is a mistake. We shouldn’t be comparing it because previous season had different plot, the overall feeling was different and the characters weren’t as developed as they are now. Furthermore, the show runner changes each season and that is what we need to look at. Phoebe and Emerald have done incedible job during those first two seasons but now it’s Suzanne’s time to shine. All three of them are different people and have different ideas and views as to how they see the characters and where they want to take them. So I think we might need to “forget” the previous two seasons and be way more open minded when it comes to third season. After all it’s the most personal one and it has a different feel to it. It’s more serious, and it is setting up an actual plot for the series. It’s a good thing. And as much as we hate changes like these... I think we should embrace them this time and let the show go in the direction it is going without the need to criticize it or control it. 

I’m beyond excited to see how everything will unfold and where this season will take us. Based on all the trailers and interviews I’ve seen so far... this will be a one helld of a ride and I am NOT prepared for it!

If any of you reached this point, you seriously deserve an applause! Hopeuflly you enjoyed reading my nonsense lol! Let me know if you’d like me to write a review for the next episode, because I do have plans for writing for the entire season, but it’s always better when I have an audience to write for! 

Now if you have any theories or thoughts don’t be shy to comment or message me so we could chat about it! I’d love nothing more than a good conversation about the show we have a common obsession for! 

[mgkconfessions]

CBS Podcast full version

I was very skeptical about your message anon, because none of that would fit to how Kells and Megan presented their relationship to the public and their fans. Since the beginning their narrative was always "once in a lifetime" love story with a deep and unique connection, brought together by the universe.

But now you’re saying that there's a podcast where Kells admitted that at the end of July, after everything that had happened (Kells making BV about her, dedicating a music video to her, posting that he's "in love" with her, their relationship becoming Kells’ centre of his work, pda shows and dinner dates for the paparazzi, countless sources talking about how serious and real they were and Kells and Megan both encouraging that perception of them too, the twin flame podcast with everyone pushing and believing that Megan is his future wife and finally going so far of even getting tattoos), after all that he's saying now that at the end of July, after three months of dating, they weren't as solid as they made everyone believe they were this whole time? But that their relationship was so fragile that they needed one more day to figure out if they could even be separated for 5 weeks without having to maybe break up?

I didn’t know that the short video which I saw from CBS was part of a 20 minutes long podcast, so I looked for it the other day and found it, because I couldn't believe that he really said that! But he did and I added some screenshots and the link of what he said below, although I recommend you to listen to it too!

I haven't been convinced of this relationship since the beginning and keep saying how fake deep it seems like and how weird and off their dynamic always is and how you can see that they're putting on a show for the public and their fans, but they aren’t feeling it themselves like that and I think I can take Kells’ words as basically confirming that now, at least from May till the end of July to be accurate about that.

In these 3 months, counting from the day both of them attended Kells' friends birthday party in May, they managed to fabricate a show for the public and their fans, but in reality they weren't nearly as solid and strong of a couple like they tried to sell it to everyone else. This isn't about them not managing to be more solid after three months of dating, every relationship is different (although in my opinion it is a bit weird if you think about how much time they spent with each other that this time wasn't enough for them to talk about how they will spend longer periods of time away from each other because of their jobs which was clear from the beginning), but this is a great example of how public perception can be manufactured and influenced by PR and how easily everyone just falls for it and doesn’t think twice about what they’re being presented and suddenly they believe and are invested in a relationship that doesn't even exist like that outside of the public eye and I don't think that much has changed for them since July, at least not for the better, either.

To answer your question anon, I can't fully answer it. I think that getting tattoos while knowing how fragile your relationship is seems like a desperate move and thinking that a bit of ink could save your relationship and give it the seriousness and depth that it’s still lacking, because tattoos are meant to last forever. They're still together, but I believe that they are so caught up in exaggerating their love story and putting on a show for the public and themselves, that their real feelings were left behind from the beginning and instead of working on it in their private time to gradually develop their relationship towards a point of stability and depth, they found themselves already at the end of that journey and ever since were supposed to present and be this strong power couple that they never were and still aren’t. I also don't know what one more day could have saved and changed than what three months of dating couldn't do and to be honest, looking at them now, it doesn't seem like it did much, because Megan is still following him around everywhere, so at least that point of their concerns still seems to exist. As I said I assume that eventually they were too deep into this twin flame narrative and mixed PR too much with their real life and relationship that it took over everything that was real in the beginning and they or at least Kells, didn’t know anymore what was real and what was just done for the public, which made breaking up or continuing to date a very confusing question and situation, because do you ever really know what your partner is truly thinking and feeling? And like I said many times before, both of them seem to have many other reasons why they're in this relationship too, but real love seems to be the last one of them. I believe that both of them know or Kells is starting to see in which illusion they're living and are aware of that, but are too proud to admit to themselves and each other that their relationship is mostly a lie, an exaggerated better version of the reality, and they also have to think about all the benefits that they would lose once they break up. It's a really sad life if you think about it!

I don’t want to go too much in depth in this post about what else he had said, but it sounds like although Kells wanted to make this relationship work and not accept that it might not work out, it seems like they had a couple of issues and things that stood in their way of dating and having a lasting relationship that they were aware of. It’s interesting that he didn’t accept those other things as signs from the universe tho that they shouldn’t date and that it wouldn’t work out long term without a pandemic, but he accepted not having to be evacuated as a sign of the universe confirming that they should date and that made him ignore all the other red flags then although he also says that the universe is ALWAYS speaking to us (not included in the screenshots, but he says it in the podcast). He acts like it was the universe’s will for them to date, but yet he was the one who picked and chose which signs he accepted and which one he ignored, so that makes him still very much in control of this decision and not some predestined universe.

The CBS Podcast