#congratulations to those of you that make it through this long ass read

[somanyratsinthewalls]

Congratulations on 700 followers Mo 😖💗....I really LOVE reading your fanfics☺️

I was kindly requesting Navy hummingbird and sloth please

Eeeek thank you so much for reading! I hope you like this one! (Honestly? I kind of wrote this with the thought of it being Burning Hearts, my Law series, adjacent.) Needy Law is so cuuuuute!

Pairing: Trafalgar Law x Fem!Reader

Prompt/Trope: Sex Pollen/Aphrodisiac x Somnophilia 

WC: 1900

Warnings: oral, sex pollen affects, somnophilia without discussion but let’s assume they have (don’t worry we’re cool!) unprotected sex, p in v sex, prone bone, creampies and breeding baby!

Happy Anniversary, Baby (18+)

— — 

Law was a composed man. Over time, you had managed to worm your way through his hardened exterior to reach his nerdy, compassionate, caring center. Even as he opened up to you, he was still methodical about most things, including sex. He had the motions to make you orgasm down to a science at this point, making sure you were pleased far more than worrying about his own release. He always pulled out. He was the doctor who prescribed your birth control for god’s sake but he insisted on being careful anyway. Even if you begged him to finish inside, he was stubborn. You would never complain about your relationship with Law, he was just the way you liked him. 

Law was up early one morning going over paperwork at his desk. He couldn’t sleep any longer and didn’t want to wake you from your peaceful slumber by tossing and turning, so he decided to get some work done. 

After an hour or so of being engrossed in his work, Law glances at the calendar hanging on his office wall. Todays date had little pink hearts drawn around it in gel pen, by your hand of course. 

“Oh shit.” 

Law had forgotten about your anniversary. 

He had to think of something fast, preferably before you woke up. You were always telling him he worked too much so he couldn’t imagine the ass-chewing he would receive if you found out he forgot your anniversary. 

“Flowers…” He mumbles as he rises from his desk and leaves his office. He headed down the hall to the large closet you had converted into a makeshift greenhouse for your beloved hydroponic garden. 

He rips open the metal door and is hit in the face with moist air and the refreshing smell of greenery. The walls and center of the room were completely covered in carefully curated small plants, vegetables, flowers, and ferns. Law steps in and closes the door behind him. 

“She likes yellow…” Law mutters to himself as he finds himself overwhelmed by all the flowers around him. He was a doctor, not a botanist, he had no idea what any of these plants were so he just decided to choose something in your favorite color. 

He walked up to a large bush on the left side of the room that had unique-looking yellow flowers blossoming all over it. He thought this would be as good as any so he reached out his hand to pluck at the stem of one of the blooms. 

Just as he wrapped his tattooed fingers around the plant, the flower released a puff of yellow pollen right in his face. Law jerks backwards. The particles fly up into his sinuses and causes an uncomfortable tickle. 

“Ah- ACHOO!” Law sneezes violently which triggers the rest of the flowers on the bush to release their own supply of pollen into the air, clouding his vision and irritating his nose further. 

Law covers his face and rubs his eyes, trying to brush any remaining flower pollen off of him. 

“Must be some kind of natural defense mechanism… fuck that.” Law gripes as he wipes the last remnants of the pollen from his tired face. 

Law catches his breath and chooses to abandon this particular, aggravating plant. He spies a rosebush in the corner of the room. He knows what those are for sure, and as long as he doesn’t prick himself on the thorns, it should be less of a challenge to harvest them. 

Law walks over to the rosebush and begins snipping off the beautiful yellow blossoms, keeping the stems just long enough to put in a vase. Once he had around a dozen roses, he left the greenhouse room to find suitable container for the flowers in the kitchen. 

Rooting around in the kitchen cabinets, Law struggles to find anything nice enough for an anniversary bouquet. 

He wipes sweat from his brow and realizes that he’s been having to do it every few moments… why was he so sweaty? Was the boiler on the fritz again? He made a mental note to check the furnace on the ship after he gave you your gift. Law ignores the heat creeping up through him and continues searching the cabinets. 

He is pushing coffee mugs aside just as he notices the warm feeling become even more intense. Sweat was beading at his temples. 

“Fuck…” Law grunts and abandons his quest briefly so he can pour himself a glass of water. He chugs the entire cup in a few gulps and slams it back onto the kitchen counter. His jeans felt tight now. He looks down. His dick was fully hard, straining against the thick fabric of his pants. 

“What the hell…” Law had no idea what was happening to him. He was normally so in control of his faculties, but he now found himself painfully erect for no reason at all. He felt more droplets of sweat trickle down from his scalp to his neck. He grips the countertop and hangs his head, breathing heavily. 

It had to be that plant. He had no other logical explanation for the ache in his crotch and the uneasiness he was feeling in his head. The water didn’t help. He needed your help. You knew everything about the plants in there and would know exactly what to do to make the effects stop. 

Great, Law thought. Not only did he blow off your anniversary, he might have severely injured himself in the process… once again he wins the “Shittiest Boyfriend in the Grand Line” award. You were going to kill him, and at this point Law was so uncomfortable that he would probably let you. He abandons the flowers strewn across the kitchen counter and heads to your shared bedroom, desperate to find a cure to his ailment but also apprehensive of your reaction to his idiocy. 

He pushes open the bedroom door and quietly slips in, so he wouldn’t startle you if you were still sleeping. Before he has a chance to even form the words he wanted to use to explain himself to you, he was stopped in his tracks by your sleeping form. 

You had tossed all the covers off your body since Law had left, and you were laying on your back snoozing peacefully. Arms stretched over your head, Law’s bright yellow t-shirt emblazoned with his Jolly Roger was the only article of clothing you had on. You looked so serene, lost in your dreams, little snores escaping your parted dry lips… but Law could only focus on one thing. His t-shirt had ridden up and your thighs were spread, perfectly exposing your naked sex to him. 

Law felt his entire heartbeat in his cock now. Your plump, outer pussy lips looked so delicious, so kissable, and all Law could think about now was burying his tongue in you as you slept. Without thinking, Law unzips his pants and steps out of them when they fall to the floor, hissing as his dick finally has more room to breathe. He was no longer in control of himself, he could almost smell you from across the bedroom. He needed to have you now. 

He shouldn’t! The last of his sanity was pulling at his brain, begging him to just wake you up and ask you how to diffuse the effects of the flower’s pollen… but your naked cunt before him was just too much to resist any longer. 

Still feeling hot, Law strips himself completely, hat included. His hands tremble with need and tension as he tries to delicately settle himself on the bed between your legs, not wanting to wake you up. He would have a small taste and then let you rest… just one little lick…

He couldn’t help it. He immediately latched his whole mouth around your sex and laves his tongue up from the bottom of your hole to the top of your clit. 

“Hnnnhhh…” You whimper and shift in your sleep. 

“Mmmm…” Law groans into your pussy as your sweet taste helps alleviate some of the pressure he was feeling in his body. He can’t help but hump his hard cock into the mattress below the two of you, no doubt leaking pre and staining the sheets. 

Law notices you begin to stir and squirm underneath his touch, so he gently places his hands on your thighs to keep you still while he lapped at your pussy as if he was desperately parched and your body was an oasis. Becoming increasingly aroused, more of your slick leaked out of your hole into Law’s mouth which he greedily slurped up. The familiar flavor of you made his eyes roll back. He needed more. 

Law pushes himself up and positions himself on his knees between your legs. He grabs his cock and strokes it a few times harshly before lining himself up with your weeping hole. 

“I’m sorry baby…” Law whispers as he pushes himself into you. 

“Oh…” You sigh and your eyelids start to flutter. 

Without giving you time to wake up, Law sets a punishing pace with his hips and hammers into your wet cunt. Your breasts bounce freely underneath Law’s t-shirt and you rub your eyes involuntarily. 

“L-Law?” You sleepily say as you gain consciousness and realize he’s on top of you and balls deep inside of you. You thought you were just having a sex dream but you were shocked to find your partner waking you up with his cock. 

“Needed you now… Had to take you… You looked so fucking good and I just couldn’t stop…” Law grunts out as he thrusts into you with everything he has. 

“Fuck… feels so good…” You whimper out, sleep still heavy in your mind. 

“Shit, I’m gonna-“ Law huffs out before you feel him press hard into you. You then get the unfamiliar feeling of him shooting a heavy load inside of your walls. 

“D-did you r-really just-“ You stutter. You feel his member still twitching and hard inside of you. 

“Fuck why won’t it go down?” Law grits his teeth. 

“W-what?” Before you had time to question him further, Law picks you up by your waist and man handles you onto your stomach, spreading your legs again to make room for him. He pulls your hips up and presses his dick inside you again, your tender hole seeping white liquid out and coating him. 

“Shit! Law!” You moan as you feel him hit your favorite spot from behind. He picks up a brutal pace as he fucks you. “S-slow down, babe!” You try to push a hand back on his abs to quell his fervor. “I’m gonna-“

“C-can’t… I can’t! Fuck!” Law huffs as he grips your hips impossibly tight, surely leaving marks. You had never seen this animalistic side of your boyfriend and you couldn’t help how much it turned you on. You felt yourself hurtling towards the edge of orgasm embarrassingly quickly for someone who had just woken up. 

“AH!” You yelp into the pillow below you as you cum, hard. 

“Yes baby, this pussy is so fucking good, squeezing me so tight…” 

You were a babbling mess as Law’s heavy thrusts send you into overstimulation. 

“Gotta fucking fill you again, want you to drip for days…”

You whimper in response. 

“Yeah you’re mine baby, all mine… gonna stuff you so fucking good… FUCK-“ Law almost shouts as you feel more hot liquid filling your insides, surely leaking out around his member. 

Law rides out his second orgasm with a few more deep thrusts before he collapses over you and nuzzles his face between your shoulder blades. 

Finally feeling relieved, Law pulls out of you tenderly before flopping on his back next to you on the bed, out of breath. You turn to your side and snuggle into him as he wraps his arms around you. 

“Happy Anniversary?” Law says tentatively.

“Happy Anniversary indeed. Was that my present?” You giggle. 

“I cut you some flowers, left them in the kitchen, though.” Law says as he strokes your hair. 

“Wait… what flowers?!” You raise your voice as your head shoots up off his chest. 

xx

Mo

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

my pitch for a phineas and ferb-themed ride at the disney parks (hire me disney you cowards)

the queue is an interior building with pnf-themed decorations. kinda like the figment ride in epcot, a lot of it is winding through a "museum" of pnf and/or doof inventions. most of those inventions disappeared of course, so they're models, parts in glass cases, etc. overhead are tv monitors that play a shuffled loop of phineas and ferb songs, but bc there are so many good songs they can use it hopefully won't get repetitive unless you're there for nine hours. the exception to this is one small part of the queue (small to avoid people being stuck there too long) where it exclusively plays the quirky worky song and you see the pnf gang building the ride you're about to go on, either as statues/figures or through a "screen" that shows looping animation

you get onto the coaster car from the first episode as phineas, baljeet or isabella reads the safety spiel over the loudspeaker. actually as i'm typing this it might be fun to loop each of the backyard gang doing their own version that'd be cute

the ride takes off and you hear the vamp from the "rollercoaster" song as you're loading in.

once inside, the ride is styled like epcot's guardians of the galaxy ride, where you're on a track looping through a mix of screens and sets. the first part plays more of the "rollercoaster" song as you run through the "coolest coaster ever" scenes.

miscellaneous room/scene ideas: fireside girl action segment, carpe diem room, obviously a space segment w/ meap and queen candace and the catu aliens, obligatory scary bit through the haunted house, rock concert w/ love handel, backyard beach/atlantis, owca headquarters, 2nd dimension bit (might be too confusing for new fans?), relatively normal area where candace is gesturing wildly to a linda animatronic that won't turn around and see the rollercoaster car, idk a hamster & gretel segment or smth

a little bit in, you hear a beep and a call for agent p. a small animatronic of perry rises from the front of the car as you enter a tunnel, where a screen of major monogram tells perry to get his ass to doofenshmirtz evil incorporated to fight doof. perry salutes and slides back down into the car, and the ride then takes a "wrong track" (kinda like when you run into a "broken track" on everest) to DEI.

we go inside and see animatronics of perry fighting doof as an inator sparks. it goes off, sending us down yet another "wrong track," which shoots through wilder parts of danville. at the climax, we start looping and the climax of the "rollercoaster" song starts playing ("we're rightside-up and upside-down...")

at the end of the ride, we see an animatronic/animation of doof hanging upside-down from rope as perry glares at him cross-armed, and doof intermittently yells "curse you, perry the platypus!" on a screen, monogram congratulates the riders for saving the tri-state area with agent p. perry makes platypus noise.

you go to another room, right before the exit. you see candace pointing to an empty backyard, saying stuff like "but it was right here! and it was huge!" as phineas and ferb sit under the tree and address the guests. if you're far enough away from the last room, perry can be sitting under them being cute.

the exit queue has posters for dwampyverse stuff, like "love handel reunion", "doctor zone: the movie", the og rollercoaster poster, etc.

you exit in a gift shop where you can buy perry the platypus inaction figure (he doesn't do anything!) and big sticks

lastly,

you know when rides break down or stop for a sec and you get in-character voiceovers telling you to stay seated or w/e? i think we should have three that loop: one of doof giving a basic spiel, one of milo murphy being like "yeah i went on the ride. sorry about that. it should start working soon lol" and one where literally the whole thing is candace yelling "NO MOM I SWEAR IT'S A WORKING ROLLERCOASTER AND PHINEAS AND FERB BUILT IT! MOM LISTEN–"

[radioactiveparker]

The Boy Next Door - Mechanic!Eddie Munson X Fem!Reader (Smut) *Sneak Peek*

"Yeah, could you keep it down, please? I'm trying to sleep."

His eyes softened ever so slightly. "Sorry, sweetheart, I've got a deadline to meet, and I work through the day. It's the only chance I get to work on it." And he went back to work as if that was a good enough answer.

You scoffed, irritation slowly rising again. You told yourself it didn't matter how hot his grease streaked muscles were. "Listen, I've got a job interview tomorrow morning that I'd rather not miss because I overslept."

"Congratulations, I hope it works out for you." There was a strain in his voice as he tightened another bolt, oblivious to the point you were trying to make. You clearly weren't getting anywhere with this guy.

"How about a compromise then? You can keep working but just promise to keep it down?"

He looked up at you over the hood of his car with those big brown eyes that were hard to resist melting for. He raised his eyebrows challengingly before stalking towards you, wringing his hands on an old rag. Your heart quickened, and you refrained from squeezing your thighs together when he licked his pink lips and threw the rag over his wide shoulder. He towered over you, close enough for you to smell his manly musk and see the drops of sweat trickle down the delicious skin of his neck that you so desperately wanted to sink your teeth into.

"I'm afraid I can't do that, sweetheart. It's not exactly an easy task to do quietly." He spoke to you, but his eyes not-so-subtly gawked down your shirt (his vantage point giving him a direct view down it), only locking eyes with you when he had finished talking.

You resisted rolling your eyes - men were so easy to read. So you played into it. You arched your back slightly to push out your breasts, the cool breeze perking your nipples through your top, and rested a flirty hand on his bicep.

"Surely you deserve a break?" You stroked a finger down his arm teasingly and batted your lashes at him. "I mean, you said it yourself. You work all through the day, and now you're working all through the night? Even a strong, hard-working man like you needs to have a break sometimes."

His eyes lingered on your pouted lips, just long enough for you to catch him. His eyes darted around with every thought as he considered your proposition before staring at you intently. "If I do this for you, what do I get out of it? I'm gonna need some sort of compensation for the delay I'm gonna have."

You played with the hem of his tank top, tugging it playfully and revealing the defined muscles of his pecks. You were having far too much fun toying with this handsome stranger, and his devilishly good looks only made it that much easier to play your part. Besides, you thought he deserved it after causing you so many sleepless nights.

"I'm sure you can think of a way for me to thank you." You whispered seductively.

"You mean like a..." He looked around cautiously to make sure there was no one to overhear. "A you-know-what?" He whispered.

"A 'you-know-what'?" You laughed at his phrasing. "That all depends."

You spun in the direction of your trailer whipping your hair so he could smell the addictive scent of your shampoo. You swayed your hips as you walked back to your trailer. You were pretty sure that your ass cheeks were showing under your shorts, but that just made you all the more enticing.

"Depends on what?" He called, standing there like a lost puppy.

You skipped up the steps and peeked your head out the door. "On how good a night's sleep I get." You winked and shut the door.

~~~

Read it here

[ramp-it-up]

ii Most Wanted Part 9: Shotgun Rider

Pairing: Syverson x OFC Reader "Buttercup"

Summary: Jealousy, wedding plans, & a little smut, too. 😉

Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI. RPF. S MUT, ANGST, FLUFF. Jealous, sexy Sy, Angst, Sex in committed relationship. Oral sex, female receiving, sex partially-clothed, gagging, semi-public sex? Dirty talk, cream kink, size kink, raw p in v, command kink, Sy in the workplace, fluffy Sy, future plans, airport goodbye.

Read at your own risk.  Not Beta’d. All errors my own.

A/N:  This is the ninth installment of II Most Wanted. I'm in love with these two; they are bringing my writer heart back to life. If you like it, please reblog and comment.

I don't have a taglist. Please follow @rampitupandread and turn on notifications to learn when I post! 😘

I Do NOT Consent to my work being reposted, translated or presented on any other blog or site other than by myself.

Previous part here

-------------

Sy walked up close behind you and pressed the steel bar in his pants into your expensively clothed backside.

“Me too, Buttercup. And I’ll tell you what else is a sure thing.”

“Jake Syverson…”

You pressed back onto him as his hands came up to grip your hips tightly through your skirt as you turned your head to meet his lips over your shoulder.

You’d lost count of how many times you’d had each other over the weekend, but damn, it felt like you needed him like the first time.

“You gonna fuck me over your desk?”

You bent slightly at the waist while Sy bounced you against his khakis, watching your rear as his cock swelled. He shook his head to try and clear the cloud of lust, but it wasn’t working. Something was making it stronger this morning.

“Trust me, Buttercup, the way that ass looks in that skirt, don’t think I haven't thought of it since you walked onto my site. And everyone else on the job, too.”

The way he said it caused you to turn around in his arms and look into his eyes. You’d never seen that look before: possessive, with dark clouds in his eyes. 

It was hot.

“Sy… are you… are you jealous?”

He licked his lips and slid his hands around to cup your ass again. The side smile that was added to his proprietary look only made him more appealing.

You continued on your quest to understand his mood.

“It’s not okay, but men and women on a construction site work hard, and some off-color jokes are gonna fly. I didn’t hear anything that was offensive, though.”

Sy cringed when he thought of what almost came out of Billy’s mouth. And who the hell knew what Cole and Joe were gossiping about. But one look at Mike Ackerman’s face, and he knew exactly what he was thinking.

And he wanted to kill him. He’d had no such urges since Afghanistan. He took in your face, those eyes, those lips. The thought that Mike Ackerman would have the nerve to think– He shook his head and looked down.

“What are you thinking, Sy? Remember you said you’d be straight with me.”

Sy sighed as he looked into your eyes. Fuck, he was going to have to talk.

“Most of those knuckleheads have some manners. But Ackerman can be a grade- A piece of work. You didn’t see the way he looked at you. And the look he gave me. Made me wanna- ”

Sy’s glare turned darker, his scowl making you want to ride his face. But then you noticed his fist was off of your ass and clenched at his side.

“You’ll do no such thing. Fix that face, Sy.”

You moved his hand back to your butt and put your arms around his neck while pressing yourself close to him and giving him a long kiss. He’d moaned twice before you were done. After kissing his attitude away, you set about tenderly wiping your lipstick from his mouth with your thumb. 

Sy shook his head at you as he drew you even closer.

“You don’t understand men, Buttercup.”

You raised your eyebrow at him. 

“Oh? Educate me then. Before my interview, you said Ackerman was a good guy. The first thing I told him today was that we are going to get married and he congratulated us. Twice. Once in my interview and once at the worksite. What am I missing here?”

Another puff of air escaped Sy’s mouth.

“Just a couple a’ things, Buttercup. One, you are fine as hell, he’d have to be blind and made of stone not to notice that. And two,” Sy’s eyes wandered away from yours to focus at a spot above your head.

“...There’s been this… competition between us since we were kids. He loves to rattle my cage.”

You thought it was hilarious that Sy was this wound up. You smiled, but quickly stowed it away when you saw his face. All you could say was, “Okayyy.”

“I know you think it’s stupid, but you didn’t come to town until senior year. Mike was a grade ahead of us, already playing at State when you arrived. Even though he was older, we were always in competition. Football, baseball… girls…”

The lightbulb came on in your mind.

“Ohhhhh I get it now. And I remember you saying something about Becca dating an older guy before she dated you.”

Sy huffed and tried to pull you close again, because you were trying to get out of his grip. 

“That's not what this is about. There were other girls as well. People said we looked alike–”

You laughed at the thought. 

“I don’t see it.” 

Sy rolled his eyes. 

“Me neither. But it became a game to us. It started as a bet my freshman year with Angie Cozart, and–”

“I do not want to hear about the bonehead things Baby Pimp Sy did before I met you. The things you did after I met you take up enough space in my brain.”

Sy winced.

“You’re right. Buttercup. This is dumb.”

You shook your head.

“I’m not saying that what you are feeling is dumb, I’m not dismissing it, but I don’t care whether or not Mike Ackerman still thinks you and he are competing for whatever. I am not a sports ball or a chess piece. I am the future Mrs. Buttercup Syverson, and I’m not playing any games about that. Got it?”

Sy grinned at you, bringing the sun back out. Damn, he loved how you kept him in line.

“Buttercup Syverson? The preacher gonna say that at the wedding? That gonna be on the license?”

The grin stayed on his face as he teased you. You reminded him that he was deliriously happy.

You giggled. 

“Sure. Why not? I’m grown. I can be called what I want.”

You took his face in your hands.

“As long as you call me ‘yours,’ I’m good.”

And you kissed him again, causing him to wrap his huge hands around your waist and lift you onto his desk. You two kissed for a good long while, his hands roaming all over your body, seeming to take catalog of everything that was his. Your heart dropped to the floor when you realized you’d be leaving him soon.

“Sy…gonna miss you… miss this…”

“Me too, Buttercup. This weekend has been everything. I can’t wait until you come back for good.”

For some reason, your heart skipped a beat with anxiety. What had you done? You really said yes to him.

As if reading your mind, Sy pulled back and looked into your eyes, silently questioning you.

“You having second thoughts?”

He was so damn sweet, and the look on his face snapped you out of your head. You answered with your heart. And your soul.

You raised your hand to run your fingers over his lips.

“No, Captain. My brain is trying to lie to me, but deep down, I don’t want to waste anymore time. I’m coming back. Let’s get married, Sy.”

His heart did a triple flip of joy as he took in the sincere smile on your face. 

“I promise you, Buttercup. Everything is going to be okay. You and me were meant to be.”

“Damn straight. I’m your shotgun rider.” 

You put your arms around Sy’s shoulders and chucked your chin up, daring him to contradict you; there was no way that he would.

“Absolutely right. It’s why I brought Betty out of storage this weekend. My shotgun rider forever.”

And he kissed you again.

“You make me so very happy, Buttercup. I swear I’m gonna take care of you for the rest of my life.”

His hands started to roam again.

“Sy…”

“Gonna show you the best way I know how. Don’t have much time, but, want to, need to see you cum for me again before you leave. Wanna make you feel a way…”

His gravelly voice got you good and wet for him as his fingers traveled down your thighs in your skirt. The way your breath caught in your throat and your heart rate increased was heady.

“No one else ever has made me feel the way that you do, Sy.”

Sy was nuzzling your neck now.

“And I’m gonna make sure no one else will.”

Sy’s hands moved from your waist to your hips and skillfully spun you around so that you were facing the desk again. You looked back and kissed him over your shoulder

“Sy…” 

You were a whimpering, trembling mess as you looked up at him.

“Those fucking eyes, Buttercup.

He pulled away and looked down at your ass, which was now in his hands. He took a deep breath. 

“And the way you say my name.”

He gave you a sexy side smile. 

“Like I said. Been thinking ‘bout this all mornin’.” 

He kissed your lips, licking though to your tongue and doing a quick dance as he held you against his crotch.

“Gotta have you one last time, but you gotta be quiet.”

You licked your lips and nodded, giggling as he dropped to his knees.

Sy grinned up at you as his hands went down to your ankles and started sliding up your thighs, shaking his head and lickng his lips.

“Skin so smooth. Wanna memorize how it feels. You’re so damn pretty…so fuckin’ soft….,” he’d reached the apex of your thighs, having bunched up the knee-length skirt around your bottom.

The next thing he said sounded gruff.

“So wet in all the right places.”

“S-s-Syyyyyy.”

You were nervous, trying to see out the small window to see if anyone was coming, but also kind of turned on that you might get caught. Sy was only focused on one thing: your sodden center that he was spreading your lace covered cheeks to see. The black flowers were glistening over your wet folds, and he just had to verify that it wasn’t a mirage.

Soon, Sy’s nose and mouth were at the split of you, nose inhaling your scent, and tongue testing and adding to the dampness of your panties. You reached back and grabbed his hair, not caring that you were messing it up, and keened his name. 

“Love it when you say my name like that, Buttercup.”

Sy pulled back and his fingers deftly moved your underwear to the side, entering your tight heat. You ran your fingers through his hair as his eyes rolled back into his head and he licked his lips again. He looked up and asked a question.

“How many times have I had you in the last three days? And I’m still about to bust a nut in my pants like I’m a teenager. Need you like air, Buttercup.”

“Oh Syyyyyyy!” 

You keened again as two of his fingers pumped and in and out of you steadily and you couldn’t help but watch as he leaned forward, tongue out and an obscene smile on his lips as he licked a solid stripe up the center of you before attaching his lips to your clit.

You turned around to flatten your palms against the desk blotter, trying to ground yourself from this feeling as whispered groans and profanity leave your mouth.

Sy sucked and licked at you like a man determined. He was so good at this, and you told him so over your shoulder. He pulled back and spoke, glancing at your pussy again and licking his lips, but then stared into your eyes longingly.

“Only because I wanna be the one to make you feel good, Buttercup. Makes me horny. ‘S so damn hot when you…”

And he curled his fingers as he leaned forward to lick and suck at you again. You raised up on your tip toes as you felt the oh so familiar knot form in your belly.

“Cum for me. Please?”

How could someone command you yet beg at the same time? You flew apart in his hands and on his tongue, but he didn’t stop, Sy just kept lapping at you as you careened into another mind-blowing orgasm.

“Holy fuck, Buttercup. Just wanted your taste in my mouth as I put you on the plane. But now, gotta have this cream on my cock as well.”

You almost cried at the beautiful profanity Sy was uttering in your ear as he stood up and pinned you against the desk with his chest as he undid his belt and pants. You got impossibly wetter at the sound of it. 

His hands went to your panties again and ripped them at the crotch seam, balling them up and stuffing them into your mouth.

“Taste yourself and be quiet as I fuck the hell outta you, Buttercup. My cock is aching for you, baby.

“Ohyyyygahhhhhhh!”

Your eyes rolled back as you felt his knees bend and his knuckles against the flesh of your ass as he held his stiff dick against the entrance to your cunt. You gasped against the lace as he entered you in one hot, fluid movement and started fucking you relentlessly. One hand went to press devilish circles around your clit.

“Could spend all day like this, but we need to be fast.”

And you were quickly on your way to heaven. Sy was making sure of that.

You didn’t realize that you were screaming through the fabric until Sy’s hand clamped around your mouth, and the smell of your fluid on your fingers, combined with how rough he was fucking you, caused you to clamp down on his cock.

Sy hissed your given name into your ear and you started convulsing as his hips stuttered and he stopped, huffing into your ear as he tried to hold back, mouth open and latched onto your neck. You grabbed his hair and pulled, and he bit into your neck and tried to muffle the roar emanating from him as his cum sprayed into you: hot, forceful, and so voluminous that it almost immediately dripped out of you. 

He pulsed into you for what seemed like forever. He pulled the panties out of your mouth and laved the bite on your skin as he cooed in your ear.

“Gotdam, love you, Buttercup.”

He stepped back to pull up his pants and pocket your panties as you leaned forward against the desk. 

“Stay right there…”

You heard Sy walking away, and you turned your head to discover there was a small bathroom in the trailer. You dropped your head to the desk as you noticed that the room smelled like sex. You smiled at the fact that you two were doing it like rabbits. Anywhere and everywhere.

“Love you too, Sy. So much.”

You let Sy clean you up as you thought of the rest of the afternoon.

When you had straightened up and arranged your clothes, you gave him a kiss. 

“Gonna miss you.”

He pulled you close and gave you a hug as you sighed into his chest. You looked at the clock on the wall. Your flight left at 3:45, you needed to be at the airport by 2 pm at the latest.

“Almost noon. Need to swing by your place-”

“Our place,” Sy’s eyes were shining. You grinned.

“And get my bags, also need a quick shower. Thanks to you.”

Sy smiled at you.

“Alone.”

Sy pouted, and you laughed at him.

“We also need to get you something to eat before you get on that plane.”

You agreed.

“At the finest dining establishment.”

“You read my mind, Buttercup.”

—-

Ackerman called and offered you the job, great salary, benefits, and even a moving package as you and Sy were leaving the work site. You calmly told him you would think about it as you gesticulated excitedly to Sy as he drove.

“Told you it was a done deal, Buttercup,” he said as you disconnected the call. “I could tell by the look on his face today.”

“Don’t you start, Sy.”

You swatted at his shoulder and Sy caught your hand and kissed it.

“He wants me to start in a month, right after the 4th of July. That’s so soon, Sy.”

Sy was thinking it was not soon enough to have you back with him permanently, but he swallowed that thought. He shrugged.

“So tell him you need more time.”

You caught the tone in his voice and turned toward him.

“Well, in four weeks, I could put in my notice at the University, get packed up, find a management company to rent my house…”

Sy raised his eyebrow at that.

“I’m keeping my house Sy. Went through hell to get it after moving across the country from Scott. And the housing market in Cali is crazy. I could make a lot of money on the rental,” you replied to him.

“Hhhmph,” grunted Sy. He let it lie. Your spirit is what attracted him to you in the first place.

���But as I was saying Mr. Mighty Grumpy Even Though He Just Got Some Ass Syverson.”

Sy barked out a laugh at your audacity as you continued on your spiel. He pulled into Cardin’s Drive-Thru and pressed the order button.

“As I was saying, I was thinking that I needed another 2-4 weeks so that maybe we could meet up in Vegas in a month and tie the knot, that is, if that’s not too soo-”

Sy grabbed you up and had you in his lap, kissing you as the attendant knocked on your window.

“Give us a minute, please!”

You climbed off his lap and giggled as Sy grinned over at you.

“‘S Not too soon, Buttercup. Hell, we could go to Vegas tomorrow. I’m more than ready.”

You chewed your lip as you considered Sy’s idea. You wanted time to think and get everything settled. 

“I see you Buttercup. I’ll give you some space. But what about this idea? You go back to your house, start getting ready, packing up a little but don’t over do it, and I drive out in about three weeks, right around the 4th, pack you up in one of those containers…”

Sy leered at you as you laughed at him.

“... then leave it for the moving company to pick up while we drive back at a leisurely pace in Betty, go to Vegas, get hitched, and come back to married life and you start in August.”

“Honeymoon on the road? In Betty Bronco?”

Sy looked over at you, worried that it wasn’t enough for you.

“Well, we could–”

You hurled yourself over to him again and started peppering kisses all over his face. 

“It’s perfect! We could do the Hoover Dam, the Grand Canyon, Cadillac Ranch…”

Sy held you back from him as you cheesed. He could tell that your emotion was genuine.

“You’d really want that for our honeymoon?”

“Yes! A small wedding and road trip in Betty is perfect for us, Sy. I’ve done the fancy wedding honeymoon in Paris thing. That shit doesn’t matter. I told you, I just wanna be your shotgun for lifeeee!”

Sy felt himself getting emotional. He was going to give you the world, even if you didn’t ask for it.

“You’re the one that’s perfect, Buttercup. I can’t wait for you to be my Mrs.”

You felt the window rattle against your head as Sy held you in his lap. You were a giggling mess as he gladly ordered your burgers while you were safely ensconced in his grip.

—

An hour later, you were on the road to the airport, your suitcase full of Sy’s shirts, lighter some of your underwear. Your heart was full of bittersweet emotions, so happy that you were soon going to marry the love of your life, but not knowing how you were going to survive without him for the next 24 days.

You shook your head and laughed at yourself.

“What’s so funny, Buttercup?”

Sy looked at you, shining in the afternoon sunlight, showered and ensconced in tank top and leggings, layered with the dress shirt he’d been wearing that morning. God, you were beautiful.

“I’m just thinking how I came into town Ms. Independent and leaving anticipating being Mrs. Syverson.”

He picked up your hand and kissed it.

“Yeah. That is funny. Isn’t it.” 

He grinned at you and turned his attention back to the road. You shook his head as you thought of the balls he had to step to you the way he did just four days earlier. You loved this man.

“Gonna miss your face, Syverson.”

“Well, the next time you see it, you’re just gonna have to sit on it to prove that statement, Buttercup.”

It was your turn to laugh at him.

“I can’t with you.”

Sy gave you a cheeky grin.

“Yes you can. But in all seriousness. I miss you already. It’s gonna be tough, but soon, I’ll be rolling down your road ready to claim my bride.”

“God, you make it sound like we’re in a western and that I’m your mail order wife or something, Sy.”

“Hmmmm. Sounds like a good little fantasy to me. Maybe we’ll roleplay that soon.”

He waggled his eyebrows at you as he pulled into the short term parking lot at the airport. Your heart dropped, but you sucked it up as Sy got your bags out of the car and walked in with you to check them in. You lingered until the last minute you needed to go through security to say goodbye.

Sy held you tight as you started crying, realizing it as your tears started soaking through the polo he’d changed into. He kissed the top of your head as his own eyes started watering.

“You text me when you get to your seat, and text me when you land, and facetime me when you get home. I’ll be tracking your flight…”

Sy’s gruff voice betrayed his smile as you pulled back to fix your face. Good thing you weren’t wearing any makeup. Sy was marveling at how beautiful you looked in pigtails and watery eyes as he gave you one last kiss.

“See you soon, Buttercup. I love you.”

You gulped down a sob and decided to be a big girl.

“See you soon, Sy. I love you too.”

You knew he was watching you as you walked toward security. And you felt his eyes on you as you made your way through, until he couldn’t see any glimpse of you anymore.

——

Next Part Here.

Hope you liked it! Please Reblog if you did! 😊

[crownmemes]

Questioning Sentences, Vol. 22

(Questioning sentences from various sources to ask all kinds of muses. Adjust phrasing where needed)

"What's really going on here?"

"Where's your sense of humour?"

"You will lie, cheat and steal to get what you want, but you’re incapable of kissing a little ass?"

"Are you going to congratulate me?"

"Is a lie a lie if everybody knows it's a lie?"

"You're really not good at reading people, are you?"

"How long can you go without sex?"

"If you work for a living, why do you kill yourself working?"

"Suddenly ethical lapses are a major concern for you?"

"Did you need to be so cruel?"

"Are you keeping us here just to torture me?"

"Why do you try so hard to get my attention?"

"When you watch Star Wars, which side do you root for?"

"What did I do that filled you with so much hate?"

"Why do peoeple get married?"

"Is that what they say about me now? Paranoid?"

"You always get your way, don't you?"

"Do you remember how many times you said you loved me?"

"We forgive each other, then?"

"You ever see the sun come up over the Rockies?"

"Why did you kiss me?"

"Are you ready to play nice?"

"It really does suck being you, doesn't it?"

"Outside of evil, what else have you managed to do?"

"How come every time you compliment me, it sounds like an accusation?"

"Did I say anything stupid?"

"What if it's a lesson I don't care to learn?"

"How do you convince someone that you're not cheating on them?"

"How much is it worth to have a clear conscience?"

"Do you think I'd let them harm you?"

"What happened to your face?"

"Will you smile if I admit I was wrong?"

"Where do you get these questions?"

"I need to know - do you hate me, or do you love me?"

"Since you comprehend what you call goodness, doesn't that make you good?"

"Don't you just hate people who think they're better than you are?"

"Was there a particular reason for your search, or do you just like to dig?"

"Are you trying to bribe me?"

"You're not gonna make this easy, are you?"

"How many of those pills are you taking?"

"Who are you really?"

"Are you intentionally trying to get me to dislike you?"

"What's it take to get you to fight like a man?"

"How good looking am I?"

"You can love someone and hate their guts at the same time, can't you?"

"Have you ever shot anyone?"

"Have you even read an ethical guideline?"

"Why are you so worked up over this?"

"Do you regret marrying me?"

"How could such a thing as this stride through the streets, even at night, without being seen?"

[hotgirlgraps]

The Wembley Aftermath

Synopsis: he won the ftw championship back and just like when he lost it, all he wants is you.

A/N: if you read comfort zone, you know what happened when he lost the title. This isn’t that. I had to channel my inner softie lovergirl so expect a lot of sweet shit in this one. Keep your eyes out for part 2. Enjoy babes happy ftw day 🖤🧡

“wish me luck lil mama”

The last message he sent floated on your screen for the better half of twenty minutes while your eyes were focused intently on the tv.

You were on the edge of your seat, gripping your phone with your slippery hand as you watched the match from thousands of miles away, just wishing you could be in that massive crowd cheering your man on with the rest of the eighty thousand plus fans.

As soon as the redrum was locked in you couldn’t contain your excitement. Tears were nearly brought to your eyes when Jack frantically tapped out, knowing how much this meant to Tyler and how long he waited to have his title back.

You felt your heart racing, unable to compose itself. He grabbed the belt and held it up for the world to see, and even though he appeared just as calm and collected on the outside as always, you knew that internally he was struggling to hold it all together.

As soon as he exited through the tunnel you opened his message, your thumbs struggling to type something comprehensively thanks to the jitters.

As you were deleting an unreadable attempt at congratulating him, his call was floating on the top of the screen.

You were quick to answer the facetime, grinning ear to ear when he appeared. Your smile instantly brought one of his own, and those dimples on full display for you to admire.

“Hey little mama” he beamed, attempting to steady his labored breathing as he headed to his dressing room.

“Hey champ” you brought on another one of his boyish grins that he attempted to hide from everyone backstage until he got to his room and shut the door.

He took a seat on the sofa and let an elongated, shaky sigh out.

“The ftw looks good on your shoulder again” you tell him, knowing and clearly seeing that he was still riled up and trying his hardest to steadily ride out that adrenaline.

He glanced to the side to admire it, his dimple indented deeply in his cheek as a prideful smirk slipped upon his lips.

“Feels good” he says, looking back down at you and your giddy smile. “Know what else looks good though?”

“What else?” You asked, cheeks flushing at the recognizable look in his eye.

“My girl and her cute ass smile. Would look even better if you were sitting here next to me right now.”

You dropped your head down, trying to hide the crimson blush on your cheeks.

“You know I wish I could be there.” You say as you lean back against the couch cushions, wishing this conversation wasn’t being had over your phone. “But you probably would’ve been annoyed by me screaming at the top of my lungs during your match.”

“You know that’s not true. I love it when you scream for me.” He smirks, his eyes flashing with that familiar gleam you’ve seen so many times. You felt your cheeks physically hurting from the wide, goofy grin you couldn’t contain and it only brought on yet another one to his face.

“Tyler-“

“Actually, scratch that. I love it when I make you scream for me.”

“Tyler!” You gaped, shaking your head.

“I’m just being honest.” He shrugs as he grabs the belt and places it down next to him, where he wishes you were sitting instead.

“Yeah, I know.” You deadpan. “But right now you’re about four thousand miles away from me and the last thing I need is for you to get me all worked up when you’re not even here to take care of it.”

“So you’re getting all worked up right now?” He raises his brows, holding that infamous, cocky grin on his face.

You hesitated before you spoke, pretty sure that he was thinking of accepting a little challenge you never initiated.

“A little. I just miss you.” You admitted.

“I miss you.” He quickly says back. “I’ll be there in a couple days though. Think you can wait that long?”

You shook your head, internally groaning at the fact that you still had two more days before he’d be making a quick stop to see you. There was just so much to make up for and so little time to do it.

“No? You can’t wait?” He tilts his head to the side. Before you get the chance to say anything back, hes getting off the sofa and walking to some other part of the dressing room.

You can hear things rummaging around but only had a view of the ceiling.

“What are you doing?” You asked.

“Packing up my stuff.” He says before he sets the phone down on a table. You watched as his clothes passed over the screen, getting stuffed messily in his suitcase.

After a few minutes he appears in the camera view again, now with a shirt on and his backpack straps over his shoulders.

He grabs his sunglasses and slides them over his eyes before he looks back down at you.

“Where are you going?” You asked. “The show isn’t even over yet.”

“They won’t notice I’m gone. Keep your door unlocked. I’ll be there pretty late.”

“Are you serious?” You could hardly contain your excitement, feeling butterflies immediately swirling around your stomach. “But I thought you had a couple more days left in London? Don’t you have appearances or-“

“I have priorities.” He cuts you off, “Specifically, you.”

You heard something else in the background the second he said that. Three knocks on the door before he called whoever in, and it ended up being Taz.

Evidently he took one look at his son’s attire and said, “Where you runnin’ off to? Going out to celebrate already? I told you I’d buy you some drinks tonight after we leave.”

He placed the phone down and you listened quietly.

“I’m leaving a little early.” He tells his dad. “But when we get back home I’ll be up for those drinks.”

Taz eyed his son skeptically before those suspicious glances averted over to his phone, where you were still on the screen.

“Oh, I see.” He nods. “Yn, nice to see you honey. Wish you could’ve been here in person. Tyler’s been talking non stop about you since-“

“Alright she gets it.” Tyler cuts him off, grabbing his phone and showing his dad in your camera view.

“I wish I could’ve been there too, but next time I will be for sure!” You tell him.

“God I hope so. I don’t think my son can take it if you’re not. Been walking around all day like a lost puppy-“

“Alright thanks dad” he turns the camera back on him, shaking his head.

“Anyway baby, I’ll be seeing you soon. Get some sleep before I get there so you’ll be ready when I-“ he cuts himself off when he realizes he was about to say something he never should in front of his dad.

“I’ll call you back when I board the plane.” He improvises. Your wide, grin brought one last smile to his face when you nod, saying your goodbyes before he hangs up the phone.

“This might come back to bite you in the ass son. But I’m not stopping you.” Taz tells him, holding both hands up.

“If I get in a little trouble, it’s worth it.”

“That’s what your mother and I said too, then you came along.” Taz lets out a hearty laugh, and Tyler shoots him a perplexed look.

“I’m teasing you son. Go have a good time with your girl. I’ll tell everyone you got sick or something. Got bit by the love bug.”

“Alright dad let’s stop with the lame jokes.” Tyler teased as he reached out and opened the door.

“Wasn’t even making a joke that time though”

[wildglitch]

Heres 25 fics I really wanna write but havent gotten around to yet

For those that wanna know before reading the list, the fandoms include are

Marvel, Spider-Man, Loki, DCU, Batman, Justice League, Pokemon, Shazam/Captain Marvel, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtels (The Last Ronin), Danny Phantom, Sonic the Hedgehog, Voltron, Gravity Falls, Over The Garden Wall, RWBY, Camp Camp, Rise Of The Guardiens, Star Wars (Rebels), Miraculos Ladybug and Chat Nori, Ninjago, How to Train Your Dragon, Final Space, My Hero Academia.

Thats one long list of fandoms-

I swear its not a big ass crossover fic with all these fandoms.

The rest of the Wiz! Fics. Though one of them is almost done

Winter dad fic. Peter is dealing, Bucky dosent remember him, but the solder definetly does.

Parksborn fic post NWH. Peter and Harry meet at collage and become roommates (this was canon for like a day lol) Harry has issues, Peter has more.

Parent Loki and Son Jack frost. I love the concept and already have some plot planned out

Billy Batson has somehow been the child host of Whiz radio for about 70 years

The Last Ronin Time Travel fic

Dadow time travel fic. A few fics continuing my first dadow fic starting with Silver in the future and present, and later on future shadow goes to the past. Its a lit if feels

Sonic was raised by egg man. No one knows this

5 times Sonic confused people by acting like tails dad, and the the on time tails suprised them by acting like his son

Babysitter James. Basically, the geovani is Ash's dad theory + What if team rocket are juat there to look after Ash theory. He takes him in, James becomes one of the best in team rocket, and as a sign of trust, he makes him be his newborns babysitter.

Back to Jack Frost, A fic following his time alone and time people he meet

Dead On Main fic were Jason despretly tries to keep his ghost boyfriend away from his family

Rosegarden Fic where Ruby and Oscar are childhood summer friends who lost contact.

Ezra time travel fic because Im obssesed with them

Skybridge fic taking place during Twin Suns because Im also obsesed with those fics

Dadvid fic. David Adopts Max and the 2 of them are trying to find a new normal

Pinecone lost in the woods fic.

MLB fix-It. Cat becomes a night time vigilante as a way to deal with the stress, lower class people become more fond of him.

Klance fic. Congratulations, you got through 15 fics before Klance appeared. Ex's au, Lance dose hate Keith foe a reason, they used to date. No one knows about this and think their just being stupid

Httyd fic where toothless wasnt discoverd in the first movie.

Final Space fic were Little Cato deals with the trauma if spending so many years alone.

Ninjago Kai fic for the Time he spent alone. I have talked about this before I think

RodyDeku reunion fic.

Nightguard Denki au. A Fnaf x Mha fic

Rai: The Phantom Theif of hero society. My TodoKami fic I have been trying to write since 2022

Thats the List. If your curiouse about any of these or just wanna bug me into finally writing them, let me know in my ask box.

[soulc-hilde]

The Bear

If there’s anything more frustrating is doing a series for a show that has writers who don’t properly go about their job. For example, for my series Bear in the Wild which is based on and follows The Bear tv show, Storer and whoever else is co-writing the show - probably - don’t know how they want to go about the show or what to do.

Cause what I remember reading, is that the show wasn’t even supposed to go on for this long which is a congratulations well deserved. However, I don’t think Storer was ideally prepared to take the show higher. Hear me out…

The viewers are split between those who want Carmen to find the light within his life and heal, those who wish to see him be in a relationship with Sydney, and some who may want him with Claire or any BETTER character that can be added in.

From my perspective, I can see how Sydney and Carmen can be a couple. For those who are too hooked onto the fact that they work together - Carmen’s ENTIRE family is heavily involved with the restaurant since he was a kid. That separation is non-existent.

However, the point of this post isn’t about ships. It’s about the writing and the caring of the show. The first two seasons were killer, amazing. The pacing was perfect, the plot of each season was explored within their episodes consistently, and there’s obvious chemistry between Sydney and Carmen.

Romantic or Platonic, who gives a fuck. It's there, that's material that they can work on.

Season 3 fails because it’s inconsistent, it removes our deuteragonist Sydney and replaces her with tertiary characters like the Faks. THE FAKS??

If this season’s theme, its plot, was to dive into each character’s background and how they’re tied within one another, GO FOR IT. Even better, do that but stick to your focal cast which consists of Carmen, Sydney, Richie, Natalie, Tina, Marcus, Ebra, and… maybe the Faks.

Tell us about our seven fishes, how’d they come across Michael? What was his role in their life, outside of being the boss? It’s The Beef/The Bear. Everybody is family. Tell us how The Beef became a home. Talk to us about Sydney’s family, hell Marcus’ mother died at the end of Season 2… let’s dive into that.

Instead, I’m staring at John Cena as a Fak and I’m learning about Thing 1 and Thing 2? I’m receiving vague hints that Claire’s best friend can’t read red flags to save her fucking life and got associated with a Fak? Why would anyone to do that to themselves?

How does this contribute to The Bear? Or to the Season in general?

Claire is the type of girl in reality where you have to tell them to shut the fuck up or else you’ll punch the shit out of them. She pushes and she pushes until you give her the answer she wants.

In the eyes of a WOC, she acts like a typical white woman that was never told no because she was too pretty or talked so soft when in reality, she looked like everyone else and talks as if she’s being stalked and needs saved. Claire ain’t no different than any other plain jane.

So, what makes her so special in Storer’s eyes that she gets to be Carmen’s love interest?

Can’t say that it’s the nostalgia that holds them together cause I’m pretty sure that while they were both acquainted, she wasn’t an actual friend of Carmen’s. She was the out of reach girl who he had a crush on and knew of. Instead of initiating that bond during those times, she initiates it through his family.

Specifically, Michael, Richie, The Faks, and Donna.

Instead of understanding that the fake number meant he didn’t want to talk to her, she goes through Fak and proceeds to keep calling him. He doesn’t owe her shit, not even the toilet paper he used to wipe his ass and yet, we’re watching this grown ass woman hunt this man down when he didn’t want to talk.

If this was the other way around, it would immediately be an example of harassment against women. But Claire? Oh no, this is apparently supposed to be her fighting for her chance at love or getting close to his heart.

Girl, you're a damn pest. Get sprayed.

And let's not even get into one of the promotion interviews. Why is the cast split by the comedic reliefs, the siblings, and the Blacks?? Um... Tell us how you really feel, say that shit with your chest whoever set that up.

Storer was not prepared to create another season and that happens to all shows. I mean, how many shows you've start strong but then there was either a change on staff or it received crazy hype and decided to add seasons to follow the momentum but things went to shit?

There's ways to recover from that. However, here's where Storer really fucked up.

In recent years, the generation of BIPOC have been wishing to see themselves as characters who do the things that the most overhyped white character does.

Cook? Farm? Paint? Rich? Anxious? Depressed? Happy family?

After so many years of "progression" within the industry, we receive these characters that are supposedly in these non-stereotypical roles and won't be used for the plot (especially if they're a woman of color) but then when the final product is out...

Where was that regular-degular character you had?

And thankfully, there's some shows who have been successful with giving us that representation. And it's not about us wanting white directors and writers to tell our story as people. Y'all already had that control and look where we're at now.

We want y'all to get your head out of your asses and realize that there's more to the world than Ashley with the blonde hair, pale skin, and blue eyes.

In The Bear, we get that with Sydney, Ebra, Tina, and Marcus. Now, with Sydney, as I said, she's the deuteragonist. Both her and Richie. Where the fuck was she this season? Why is her role being pushed to the back and the likes of the Faks and the Pest being pushed to the front?

They're for damn sure not on the promotional posters. Especially, Claire. They're not one of the main characters. If anything, they're foil characters and/or tertiary characters.

They are either to help further the plot to reach our ending destination, especially if they surround the main character(s), or add little substance here and there before disappearing.

Storer fucked up. He knew what type of audience he had, he saw the reception that both Sydney and Carmen (Ayo and Jeremy) received for their roles and yet when it came to this season, he played in their faces and with their time. And that's fucked up.

[magadauthan]

Ep 26: Under the Sky So Blue

Thank you to the @trigun98watchparty for making this possible, and to all of you who have been reading along with me to this point. It's been a great trip down memory lane and getting acquainted or re-acquainted with other '98 fans who watched the first Trigun and loved it despite its flaws.

Also big thank you to those who engaged in meta, especially @tiggymalvern! Finding you again was the nicest surprise of all!

Without further ado, I am plant-ing (HARF) my tongue firmly in cheek for the intro to this recap.

Knives. We need to talk.

You have spent the last 130 years working on becoming the most basic bitch on NML, and you've done a good job. You couldn't be any blonder or blue-eyed. You have (had) a loyal second-in-command who did all your dirty work for you so you didn't have to get your hair mussed. You have a Squad who secretly hates you but sticks around because they want to be on the right side of things if you win out. And you have a silly-looking pair of boots.

It's also well known that you are the Beverage Boy of NML. On your desk (which is sitting in front of a big loopy wall art stating "Live, Laugh, Murder Everyone") and next to the "Universe's #1 Brother" mug you bought yourself is a canvas frame that says "But first, coffee." You probably killed everyone else at Target so you could get the latest Stanley.

But Knives. Knives. The wine? That's a red you're drinking. Red wine doesn't get chilled. It should be decanted and served at room temperature. Plus, basic bitches drink rosé, or a white zinfandel. To make your declassé behavior worse, you're drinking it out of a martini glass. If you're going to have a Cosmo, have a Cosmo. It's no shame. But really - how are you going to claim that you're a superior breed if you don't know such simple rules of etiquette?

Get a grip, Beverage Boy.

--Aw, baby Vash.

--I wonder whether the twins need to eat and drink, or whether it's just easier for them if they do.

--You know, Knives, humans wouldn't have had to rely so heavily on the Plants if you hadn't crashed the ships. Ofc he didn't intend to have anyone survive besides himself and Vash, which sounds pretty boring. What were the two of you going to do for all eternity?

--Was Knives working on the guns before the ship crashed, and that's what he went in to find?

--I remember seeing somewhere that the little cartridge above the barrel of the Long Colts is a teeny Plant, or Plant-stuff. Anyone else recall this?

--NOW who's the big whiny baby, Knives? (my leg, it hurts! Why?)

--That must be a very young Doc on the ship. Although, there's nothing to say that a year on NML is the same as a year on Earth. It would be more surprising if it was, rather than it wasn't.

--LOL William Conrad (aka Revnunt Buskus) is from Cleveland, Ohio

--No but seriously, how did Knives get himself and Vash's severed arm out of July after getting blasted to smithereens?

--"Hi Knives! Living as a human was great! Congratulations bro, I am done with your shit!"

--Vash kept quite a few of Leonov's wires. They've come in handy.

--Knives has learned Vash's physical tricks well enough to keep up with him... and Vash has finally figured out how to control his Plant powers well enough to cancel his brother out. (Tristamp really nailed this; their battle in the final ep was fantastic)

--Vash is worn out. Not only has he been shot through the shoulder by his brother, he's likely not completely healed from the encounter with Legato.

--Even in death, WW is looking after his friend and kicking his ass to do something, damnit! I'm right here to help you!

--The peppering Knives got from the Punisher likely wouldn't have been enough to put Vash off, but Knives has never been able to handle physical pain. Vash remembers this very well and takes excellent advantage of it.

--that boy has jawlines for days

--A blast from the well, the cauldron of Rebirth. Vash is reborn to be his own person, to make the right choices for himself and his conscience, rather than for her memory.

Which is what every mother wants for her son. I should know.

--go get your man, Meryl, he won't keep you waiting. if he did you'd go find him anyway.

--Vash leaves his coat, his gun... and his sunglasses. He's done hiding behind them. He doesn't need to anymore.

--This would have been the ending scene, for most anime. Anyone who watches anime gets used to the vague ending, the things left unsaid, and the ambiguity. There's rarely a "happy ending" the way Westerners think of them. Vash could have wandered off into the sunset, leaving the viewer to wonder whether he ever saw Milly and Meryl again. That's pretty normal.

And then there's Trigun, which takes that expected ambiguity and says "nah, we're not done."

Vash comes back to town. He's made his choice to accept the girls into his life, of his own volition, and he's going to let them make their own choices about having him (and his brother) in their lives. There would be an awful lot to sort out, but he wants to try.

This is the very next scene. Don't tell me otherwise; I don't want to hear it. (credit: doujinshi circle Nail Cut Club; title Meteo Strike).

I have Big Thoughts about what could happen after this, and of course a fanfic, but my cat wants me to go to bed now. She's being very persistent.

Thanks to all of you who read this far. You're the best, and I love you all! And talk to me, I like hearing from ppl!

[strayshornystuff]

An incident with… portals?

A knock on the door. It was those damn kids again, ding dong ditching again. During my episode with Mr. Slimey, who was safely stoppered in his little vial on my coffee table, with tape on the cork, those kids had decided to spray paint the door to my apartment, the brats. I’d never even seen them in person, but I heard them as they bolted off, laughing. I slowly walked to the door, hoping to catch them out by standing right next to the door. *Knock knock* “GOTCHa oh hi sorry are you okay?” Instead of a small child I saw the delivery man, jumping at my exclamation and falling on his arse, looking up with blood-filled cheeks. I quickly reached out to help him up, but before I could even apologise properly, he just looked at me sympathetically and said, “Those kids again?”

“Yeah,” I respond, “If you’ve seen my door, that was them.”

“Far out-” he vaguely gestured at the door “-they’re pretty good at drawing dicks for random kids…”

“Tell me about it.”

“Well, any case this is for you!” He scooped up the package that had fallen on the ground, and placed it in my arms. “Hope you can get someone for the door soon!”

“Thanks!” I call after him, and then I turn back in to my apartment.

I gently put the box down on the table, grab my kitchen shears, and look carefully at the cardboard cube in front of me. It was larger than the one the silver little devil had come in, but looked the same in every other way. I figured that I ought to get the matter over with, and so the tape was sliced, and the flaps opened. Inside were two plastic circles, each with a sticky, glue on the back, like on wall hooks. And on both of them, on the non-sticky side, were glowing holes, one with a blue glow, and the other with an orange glow. Except something didn’t look quite right…

I took each of the circles out of the box, and placed one on the table, while I kept the other in my hand. And when I looked through the table portal, I could see myself from where the other one was. I looked back and forth, mesmerised by the fact that I had legitimate portals, in my hands. While looking back and forth, I noticed a piece of paper in the box, with a couple of short lines of text on it. Curious for its message, I snatch up the paper, and read.

Congratulations! You have received our newly made portal product from our sci-fi toy line as part of your subscription! The portals have a range of about 200 km of perfect, seamless connection, and will not generate any undesired effects, such as collapse, cancer, or other crippling conundrums, no matter what you stick in the hole, or how long you do so. To change the size, flick the lock switch, place your hands on the portal walls, or the walls of the circle, and squeeze/pull to desired size! The rest is up to you to find out! Not responsible for any damage or harm caused through great misuse. To cancel your subscription at any time, message our customer service number at 04XX XXX XXX

I could hardly believe it. They had censored their customer service number, in a box that contained a wormhole. Even if it was stable, I needed to know who was sending me these. And secondly, this was considered a toy? Does that make Mr. Slippery slimey aphrodisiac mercury over there… a toy as well? And the word ‘line’… was there more of these toys? It was too much to wrap my head around, I couldn’t. I slumped down on the couch, and drifted off to sleep, my head spinning from everything…

…zzz…

I felt so good… someone was eating me out from behind, and they were good… I felt so fuzzy… I felt obligated to stimulate them, but there was already an ass in my face, I was already going to town on them… oh my… what was that glow on their skin? I tore away for a moment, looking up… and was greeted by the back of my own head raising at the same time, in front of me, as the pleasure paused for me, for them, for me again…

By the time I woke up, it was already… 1930? I’d slept through most of the afternoon, it seemed. I sat up, and immediately my eyes fell on the portals again. I blushed, thinking of the dream I’d just had. I placed one hand over my crotch, feeling overexposed, and recoiled when I felt myself completely soaked. My heart was fluttery, I was this wet, and the portals were just there… my hallway was about the right width… “should I?” Was the question I asked myself, only realising that it had been said aloud after the fact. I mustered up the courage, and grabbing the portals, moved over to my hallway. I grabbed a towel from the bathroom along the way, as well as a dildo (the one normal toy I seemed to own), and placed it under my feet once I was where I would do this.

Slowly, I stripped, peeling off my soaked pants, lifting off my hoodie, until I stood there naked, the air frigid against my lustful skin. I picked up the portals, sticking them on the walls, and pushing my hands against the walls of the portal, stretching it until I could have probably crawled through without much resistance, before finally locking their size. I took a deep breath. One small step, pull the other leg through, and my butt was snugly through the portal behind me, poking cutely through the wall in front atop my legs. Bracing myself with my hips against the portal walls, I leaned forward and buried my face into myself. Simultaneously, I let out a small yelp as I felt the same face touch my own butt, warm and soft. I looked up for a moment, before complimenting the me in front.

“Such a cute butt… be good for me…” my voice stretching forward, as the sound reached me from behind, sending a shiver down my eager body.

I took another deep breathe, and started gently licking, lubing myself up for later. It was a struggle to consistently hit the areas that made me feel good, but by the time my tongue had slipped inside of me, I had gotten pretty good at forcing sighs out of myself between dives. I kept going, harder, faster, wetter, more, ohh, ahh, AH! My legs trembled as I came, fluids leaking out of me, my brain only knowing pleasure and the command to keep going that the dopamine rush demanded. That was the first, soon it happened again, and a third time, my brain slowly melting, diving in, forgetting to breathe.

I was wet enough now for the dildo. I reached down, picking up its length, and gently started rubbing its tip against my hole. I had played with myself before, but for some reason, the sensation was just that much stronger. Maybe my brain couldn’t understand it was my own doing to myself. I could barely muster the courage to penetrate myself, but once I did, it slipped in with no resistance at all, sliding deeper, until it was up in my guts. I moaned as the wave of pleasure swept over me, engulfing my thoughts and forcing them all down toward my dripping, needy hole. Before I knew it, the toy was sliding in and out of me, my body moving automatically, understanding its task. For hours, I stayed like that, fucking myself over, and over, harder and deeper, until eventually, my memory faded into a fuzzy mess…

I woke up slumped over the portal edge, with the towel underneath me soaked and my legs dead. I reached for my phone, and saw that about a couple of hours had passed since I had started. How long I had been passed out exactly, I couldn’t tell, just knowing that I had fucked myself unconscious, and might be doing so in the future~

Hello reader! I randomly remembered that portals have some uses, and decided I might write this short story to think of how it might play out. Though, I think portals are best used when there are more people involved than just me… oh well. Hope you enjoyed reading, let me know any ideas of yours, or critique for what I might do better, and see y’all next time! :3

[sunnysam-my]

One of the funniest things in Criminal Minds to me was the writers poor attempt at making Reid look super smart. I say poor because, if you know anything about what they claim Spencer can do, you know why it's ridiculous.

1. Speed Reading.

It's a unique skill Spencer has that's used often through out the show. He claims he can read 20,000 words per minute. The thing is, the way he does it makes no sense.

First of all, when speed reading, you pay the price of comprehending the text. It is suggested by experts that speed-reading is most useful to those who need "to skim a large amount of material or need to improve their study skills" and less useful to those who read "highly technical material that requires careful study of each sentence". A lot of what Spencer reads is exactly that.

Second of all, on a normal book page, about 250-300 words fit on a page. Unless my math is incorrect, if he can read 20000 w/m then he can read 333.333 per second. He can read a book page in less than a second.

Even if my math is wrong, the average word count for adult fiction and non-fiction is between 70,000 to 120,000 words. ​The average word count in a book is between 60,000 and 100,000 words. He can read a 80,000 words long book in 4 minutes. He could read the entirty of Frankenstein by Mary Shelley (~75,000 words) in less than that.

2. Eidetic Memory

Again, I'm not really sure the writers even know what that means. Eidetic memory, also (incorrectly) known as total recall and photographic memory, is the ability to recall an image from memory with high precision, at least for a brief period of time, after seeing it only once.

The key words here are for a brief period of time. Unlike with photographic memory, it's a vivid afterimage that lingers. Additionally the memories often contain minor errors, including information that was not present in the original visual stimulus.

It's a very complicated and interesting matter, you can look into it more, but basically the writers just used it as an ass excuse to give Spencer perfect memory.

3. The Star Puzzle

I genuinely laughed at this scene. The Star Puzzle is literally a beginner-medium level puzzle. I have that star, I can see only 2, maybe 3 ways you can make a mistake while assembling it. My mom, who doesn't do those regularly like I do, only needed 15 minutes to figure out all on her own. The hard part is physically putting it together, because, until it's complete, nothing is holding the pieces together and they fall through your hands.

Noticed another thing? The way she describes it? "It's basically impossible to figure out. You have to put all the pieces back together to form a star." "It's basically impossible to do, because you have to take all those pieces and put them exactly…-" Like, yeah? That's how puzzles work??? Congratulations? All puzzles work like this. You have to put them together in the only correct order or solved them using the only solution. It's rare for puzzles to have more than one solution, that's kinda the point of them. And yeah, you can cheat usually, like with the star if you assemble it loosely and jam the last piece, but that's not the same.

And the thing is, there are harder versions of this, but no, they had to go with the identical 6 pieces. This just makes her look like an idiot.

4. His geeky overreactions were very reasonable, actually.

TBH I stopped watching CM a while ago, so don't remember as many situation as I used to, but I remember Phantasmagoria scene. Maybe this is more of geeky pet peeve of mine, but whatever.

Reid is 100% underselling Phantasmagoria here. It's not just a horror theatre play with a bit of science magic to spook the audience. They literally invented holograms for this.* Our modern image of a ghost? It's all thanks to Phantasmagoria which used live holograms** so the actors playing ghost could appear to be half transparent and floating.

You can still think that's not that cool, but wait, there's more. Other than that it used projects and many other 'magic tricks' to not only bring the monsters to life, so you can see them, but also feel them. Phantasmagoria used many special effects outside of visual illusion to make you feel cold winds, smells blood e.t.c. That's better than any other movie you can go to, especially since we're talking about reenactment, which use improved technology. Although you won't get drugged drinks before going in nowadays, so count that as a win or loss. On top of that, reenactments of Phantasmagoria are rare and for many this may be the only chance in their life to see it.

It's kinda like a walk-through haunted house, except you don't walk and there's a plot. The scene shows Spencer as some weird geek for being excited, which sucks. In general I could talk about how awful the teammates are to him half of the time, but that's not my biggest problem here. We as an audience are meant to find Reid's excitement and knowledge as lame and nerdy, but he's not even overreacting. That's a very tamed reaction when you invite your friends to possibly one in a lifetime chance to see this amazing horror magic, horror, theatre play.

*For horror shows in general, a bit earlier than Phantasmagoria, but it gave birth to it.

**Pepper's ghost isn't technically holographic, but you get it. Most people call it that anyway.

[sailorblossoms-snowbaz]

Expectations really did kick Baz’s ass in ways that are wild yet... funny? somehow? (This is rant is a messy compilations of thoughts, some I’ve already shared here. If you decide to read this, godspeed)

I think about the rat hunting date, when Baz asks Simon, “you had sex with your gf, right?” – now, I’ve seen Baz being portrayed all blushy like “whaaat? i can’t get over this, tmi” or something, but I don’t think that’s it. Baz has thought about Simon sexually and has had Sexual Urges for years. When he asks this... he has already put 2 and 2 together in his head: “surely Simon would be the same with the only person he has ever wanted” – because that’s how he thought! In CO, Baz tells you that he believes Simon has only ever wanted Agatha the entire time he has known him. Baz was fully expecting Simon to reply “yeah, we did it, I liked it, it was good” and whatever. When Baz is like “that’s good” he’s operating on the assumption that sex is something to be congratulated for. Something The Bros hi5 each other over because it’s good and mind-blowing and shit (given how Dev talked to him about sucking cock, Baz is probably familiar with these scene). He was fully prepared to be like “I don’t like this, but there you have it: you were attracted to a girl, now you are attracted to me. That’s bisexuality.” It would have been the “easy” and “simple” scenario, but the opposite happenes. 

The reason Baz chokes all over rat's blood is not because he’s surprised by “yes, this thing happened” but likely 1. timing (he’s at his most vulnerable, doing something he associates with shame, Simon sharing this is the same) 2. it’s different to assume and to hear it being confirmed out loud. That whole exchange about Simon being like “I thought you knew” “I did, mostly” or something has to be about expectations and assumptions. There’s no way Baz would know for sure – these bitches were not talking about this. It makes the most sense that Simon, aware of expectations for boys like him and long-term relationships and a shit ton of other comphet bullshit and who he was supposed to be and be doing etc etc would be like “If I know, if I’m aware of these things, Baz would know too, he’s a smart cookie” and Baz is indeed aware. 

However!! Baz is dead wrong about a couple of things: 

1. He is the only person Simon has ever wanted (Simon tells us in WS! In italics! as if he needs to correct past assumptions that he ever wanted someone else before Baz!) This is where Simon gets the closest to voice this to him. in ways that are more romantic (“nothing I’ve ever experienced compares to you”) but perhaps less direct than explicitly thinking about sex with Baz and going “yep Baz is the only one I’ve ever wanted like this” (the only person he has ever actually wanted to have sex with) (If Baz thought Simon was only into Agatha while in school, it means Simon never showed actual romantic and/or sexual interest in anybody) (that’s not Baz)

2. The assumption that sex is always good/something to congratulate someone over (he should know better by this point... baby we’re going to get you a therapist to unpack those insecurities one of these days!) and that sex is confirmation of attraction, which Simon shuts down immediately (on both accounts!). This is what kicks Baz’s ass when he’s choking all over blood. That Simon is like “what the fuck are you congratulating me over? hell no, get this away from me” while kicking walls and trying to direct the conversion from something uncomfortable and unsexy (comphet sex) to something very sexy for Simon (Baz hunting. Baz covered in blood. Baz doing a little murder.) 

Now, Simon doesn’t outright say: “comphet sex sucks in such complex and confusing ways – this was a bad experience for me that I’m only now beginning to unpack, but I would rather not unpack it because it unsettles the shit out of me. While lots of us go through confusing and unsettling shit in the process of figuring ourselves out, I do not understand what it means that I chose to do this thing when I didn’t experience attraction, nor did I actually want it.” But it’s there, trust me. (Or don’t trust me. You’re welcomed to go through my little blog to find me unpacking this with examples and specific paragraphs and all that nerdy shit. Most of it it’s said without Simon outright saying it). 

“It was just going through the motions” is truly all you need to say it sucked ass (I feel like that winnie the pooh meme when I read “sex was good for them” in any way shape or form like... do we know what going through the motions means. Do we know it’s indicative of not being into it. Nerve endings and whatever stimulations are not necessarily going to override the negativity if your mind and emotions are not into it. Simply sticking something in a warm place is not good enough!) But Simon saying “it was fine” is more notable to me because, first of all, “fine” can be negative or positive depending on context. In a scale of things that are supposed to be super good and mind-blowing or whatever, “fine” is “meh” – it’s dismissive! it’s indicative of dissapoinment, even! shit could be much better than this! Also, “tis but a scratch” is Simon: 

Don’t wait for him to say “it sucked ass” to be sure it sucked ass!! Anyway, going back to Bazzy-boy: this is part of what Simon is communicating to him in ways that might be confusing and are certainly surprising to Baz. None of what Simon tells him is the “easy” or “simple” scenario. Baz doesn’t expect all this confusion – things are pretty clear for him (he has known himself/his sexuality for a long time now). Even the wrong things seem clear – though in his defense, Baz’s wrong assumptions are pretty normal assumptions. 

3. Simon is telling him that he wasn’t attracted to the one person Baz thought Simon had been into his entire life is important to note because Baz has actual programming he has to actively work against here. The only times Simon has ever pushed himself to process and then voice all the ways in which his past relationship was wrong were in the presence of Baz. Because Simon wants Baz to know. 

4. Going back to Baz having normal yet wrong assumptions... I really do mean it when I say Simon is trying to change the subject from unsexy to sexy haha. Baz assumed Simon would be normal about romance and sexual attraction, but he’s hit with “me doing a little murder is my declaration of love for you” “slaying a chimera in hindsight is totally a romantic thing, didn’t that give my love for you away?” “obviously there’s no heterosexual explanation for me showing up at all your football practices. let me say i didn’t like in 5th year and I still don’t like you anyway, like a damn liar”  “actual sex with my past gf? unsexy as hell, i’ll take no further questions thank you” “it’s very sexy when you hunt�� “I want to kiss your bloody mouth with your fangs out, who the fuck cares about the plague!”

[therumpus]

Strong Women and Tenderness in Poetry: A Conversation with Caitlin Coey

by Jeri Frederickson

Through the strength of Ani DiFranco’s songs, Jessica Chastain’s ass-kicking characters, and a host of friends, Caitlin Coey’s debut poetry collection, Without the Cliff (Finishing Line Press, 2023) weaves strength and beauty to bolster the reader through the grieving and painful seasons of life. The poems explore complex memories and relationships through healing and beauty.

Coey is a queer writer whose work focuses on gender-based violence, mental health, queer love, and the importance of friendship. Her poetry names childhood traumas that many have experienced and reminds readers they are not alone. Coey’s poems resonate with the strength of friendships that guide folks out of dark nights of the soul. Her works reimagine what could have or should have been - and how to draw strength from the icons of our day. Her poetry has appeared in Shambles, The Roadrunner Review, Awakened Voices, Sad Girls Club, and The Heduan Review.

Coey and I met attending poetry seminars and workshops, and I have had the privilege to publish her poems in Awakened Voices, a journal for survivors of sexual violence. I spoke with her recently on Zoom to learn how these poems came to be and how she has cared for herself and her reader.

***

The Rumpus: Congratulations on your debut book! How did Without the Cliff  title come about?

Caitlin Coey: There is a poem in the book called “A Prayer for When Legs Crumble and Vision Blurs” and the last couplet is “make me Thelma and Louise without the cliff.” It's a prayer to myself about wanting to be strong. Something I do as a coping mechanism when I’m feeling disempowered is watch movies and TV shows where strong women are kicking butt and defeating villains. It’s comforting because I know it’ll end well and my body remembers what it is to feel empowered. 

Rumpus: The book ends on a poem with strong women and a prayer. You’ve offered coping mechanisms to the reader at the end.

Coey: The poem that ends the book now is a calming poem. It's a soothing poem. My goal was always to be mindful of not overly protecting, but not triggering the reader. I didn’t want to include anything just because it was difficult or because it was shocking. So, ending with a piece that's comforting is like giving the reader a warm blanket, and it lets the reader know that I, as the author, am okay too.

Rumpus: Why is it important to you that the reader knows the author is okay?

Coey: I come from a theater background and if you're an actor in a challenging scene, and you're not okay as the actor, the audience knows that. Then the audience worries about you instead of following the story and having their own experience. That's something that I really carry with me as a writer. I didn't want to shy away from anything, but I also didn’t want to re-traumatize anyone if I could help it. I know there's a big divide about trigger warnings, but I like to have them. At 34, I know what a lot of my triggers are, not all of them, but a lot. Even if there aren’t the words “trigger warning” or “content warning,” there are often breadcrumbs and you can sense what something is going to be and choose if you want to engage with it. To be clear—even if I end up being triggered by something I watch or read, I'm never mad at the person who made the art. But if there are intentionally no breadcrumbs and no warning of any kind, it feels like valuing the art over the mental health of the audience.

Rumpus: You begin the book with an Ani Difranco quote. Is this a way to prepare the reader and yourself for the sometimes difficult content in the book?

Coey: As many queer women do, I have a long relationship with Ani DiFranco and I love that song “If He Tries Anything” from the album “Out of Range.” It makes me feel empowered. I was probably listening to it during the writing of many of these poems. I wanted there to be those breadcrumbs. The dedication is to survivors. For me it functions as both a welcome and a content warning. For this book, I’m saying listen this happened to me, and I made it out of the bottom of the well, metaphorically. And you're going to be okay too. The only reason I was able to write any of this is because I had people around me who showed me how to get out because they’d been there too.

Rumpus: How did you know these poems all went into a collection?

Coey: I've been writing for most of my life—since I was ten—but it was sporadic. When I started going to therapy and diving into and uncovering the stuff that I talk about in the book and dealing with it, writing is what helped. The poems go together because they’re all a part of my healing process.

Rumpus: There are several poems that are letters to specific people in your life, but the reader gets to be someone who knows you and the person that these letters are written to.

Coey: I’m glad to hear that as a reader you feel let in by those pieces. I got some feedback a while ago that those poems shouldn't be in the book because they’re an inside thing between me and somebody the reader doesn't know. I was adamant they needed to go in the book because those people are very important to me.

Now there's a lot of books and surveys that talk about how friendship is equally as important as romantic relationships. But I remember a time when, and maybe it was just the atmosphere I was in, but friendship was looked at as a placeholder to romance. I’ve never agreed with that. I wanted to elevate the importance of friendship and show that a big part of what enables me to be okay enough to write about what’s in the book are the people I wrote letters to.

Rumpus: As a fellow writer, I was impressed with the beauty of the language that was in poems that include difficult subject matter. As a reader, it also felt like an elevation that holds everything.

Coey:  I have always dealt with complicated feelings with metaphor, even before I knew what a metaphor was. As a kid, I had a lot of really complicated feelings, but I didn't know how to describe them. I can remember being asked, “Do you feel sad? Do you feel happy?” I was always like, “That's not enough; those aren't enough words.” I still have trouble as a 34 year-old identifying my feelings sometimes, which is a result of things I talk about in the book. So, I use imagery to express myself and to understand how I feel and what I think.

Rumpus: This beautiful language also extends through the First Kiss series.

Coey: The first one I’d never written about before because it's about a coercive experience. I was always mad that was how my first kiss went. And you know, you can get into conversations with friends about first kisses and what they were like and it’s supposed to be fun. I would always have to decide if I was going to say the real thing or pick something else. And that just makes me so mad and sad for myself. So, I wrote what I wished instead, which is where the redux poem comes in. The other First Kiss poems are those alternative stories. I liked the idea of surprising the reader in an exciting way with those stories. I’m reframing the experiences and choosing what I want to tell in the moment.

Rumpus: Is Without the Cliff telling the story you want to tell?

Coey: Absolutely. I hope people feel less alone. Maybe one day we won't have to say this anymore, but writing about trauma isn’t just therapeutic, it’s valid artistic material. Even ten years ago, I can remember feeling like my work didn’t have a place in the literary world, and that could have been my specific bubble, but I don’t think so. With that idea resounding in society, it can be hard to keep writing about these difficult things, to remember that your voice is important. That’s what I want people to know. Don't listen to the critic in your head saying you don't matter or that nobody wants to hear it because it’s not true. Your story is valuable.

________________________________________

Jeri Frederickson is the author of You Are Not Lost, available from Finishing Line Press. She is the Creative Director of a nonprofit arts organization in Chicago whose mission centers survivors of sexual violence. She graduated from Antioch University Los Angeles with an MFA in Writing.

[tundesweb]

Eclipse Vibes

ALL 12 SIGNS. Read for your rising sign or just the sign/s you feel the most like. If you don't know your rising sign then I guessssss you can use your Sun.

First of all, drink some water and have a good day ON PURPOSE.

Aries: Well, aren’t you a lucky individual? The planets have aligned in your favor. Make a wish! Feel like you are HIM/HER. This is the time to step into the energy of who you KNOW you are, who God said you are. Let’s check back in 6 months to celebrate again during Libra season 🕺🏾.

Taurus: You've probably been having crazy, prophetic dreams. All of us definitely should rest, but you especially. One thing about a Taurus: they get to the money. You might be renewing your faith or diving deep into your spiritual practice. God sees you and hears you; lay all your troubles at the altar.

Gemini: Okay, Hollywood. If you get some money, let me hold a dollar! Lol, just kidding. You might find a new friend group during this time. It's a great time to make your voice/ideas heard by a large group of people, especially over the next 6 months. If you haven’t started that idea yet, DO IT!

Cancer: Are multiple things that you’ve been working on coming into fruition at the same time? That’s kinda cool asf. Congrats! You're definitely receiving some type of well-deserved recognition. Or, you know, it could also be a scandal (stay dangerous 😭). The people around you definitely see you as a trailblazer at this time. If you do start something new, it will gain you recognition by Libra season. If the attention you’re getting is unfortunately negative, feel your emotions, but just go lay down. For whatever reason, all eyes are on you, and people probably already think you’re a hothead. You’ve obviously grown; don’t let anyone put you back in a mold you already broke!

Leo: Where are we going 👀? I’m so, so, so, so proud of you. I think by now acceptance letters for college have come out or are still coming out. So, congratulations to all my Leos who are pursuing higher education. If you have any cases open, they most likely will be ruled in your favor! For me personally, I know for a FACT that all my faith has been restored. I don’t question a damn thing. Wishing you the same peace. These last 12 months definitely felt like a pilgrimage. Hugs 🫂. Plus, you’re a Leo; like, of course they're mad! Nothing can turn your shine off. I’m sorry to myself for dimming my light because it would NEVER be dim enough for someone bothered by it!

VIRGOAT: Hey, Virgo. Mercury Retrograde is probably whooping your ass right now. Probably to tell you to stop getting angry about delays. For a long time, you let anger drive you to make mooney. That’s totally fine, but uhm, you’re probably burnt out. As someone who had to slowly get out of burnout, you do NOT want your body to sit you down, because then your busy-body self will really be sad. I had to remind you that you are indeed the GOAT. You were born worthy, and you proved yourself a long time ago. Look over all that you’ve overcome and be proud instead of feeling like it’s not good enough. You’re kinda scaring the hoes. We are overall, as a collective, going through a very transformative time. If you are feeling blocked, write down all your ideas. I know you have a lot of ideas. A good astrologer would tell you to be mindful of what you owe right now; check those statements, etc. I know you’re strategic asf, but emotions and love shouldn’t be controlled; these are things you have to let flow.

Libra: Hi, my pretty. There's a lot of energy going on in your 7th house right now. Aries season reminds us to put ourselves first, guilt-free, thank you very much. A lot of people are probably pulling on your energy. I’m not saying ignore them, but definitely communicate your needs, and if they aren’t hearing you or can’t meet them, on the back burner they go! I’m sure these last 6 months taught you all about the negative effects of people-pleasing/pouring from an empty cup though. On the flip side, if you’re open to new love or new business ventures, now is also a time to seize them in an assertive, confident way.

Scorpio: You’re another one that needs to practice self-care. We get it, you’re a Martian, always working, striving, and winning. Win yourself some rest. Strategize those self-care routines. There's really so much energy happening in everyone’s chart in the sign of Aries, I really think we should just lay down for a bit. A new self-care routine would definitely take you out of a rut, and most likely is the thing you’ve been missing. We’ve all (if you’ve been doing “the work”) changed quite a bit since the eclipses were happening in your sign/sister sign. You've become a brand new person. That took A LOT of energy. Look into dance maybe as a way to release all that… energy and also feel really good. People call on you because they KNOW you will get the job done; who do you get the call on, though? You are way more than what you do for others. Rest and don’t feel guilty about it either, I don’t care.

Sagittarius: If you’re engaging in intimate activities today and don’t want a new addition to your family, please use protection. For my singles and those not feeling as creative: I hope you fall back in love with your art and reopen your heart to love and romance.

Capricorn: It's time for some home reco; move some things around to bring in new energy or just better feng shui in the house. Burning incense or a candle for whatever intention you have for your home or future one would be the vibe today.

Aquarius: If you are traveling, safe travels. You were never one to shy away from a tough conversation or telling people how it is. Maybe watch your tone though. Your mom might announce you have a new sibling; I know, right? Like, she's too grown for that, lmao. But anyways, congrats on that. Let your words nourish those around you; you might see a surprise.

Pisces: Last but certainly not least. I hope you find some new ways to earn money. Check your notes app; you probably have a good idea or two in there. If you need some realignment of remembering your worth, I’d listen to a really good playlist, one that’s very affirmative or just reminds you of who you are. (Think Yea Glo, by Glorilla) New moons are a good time to visualize and plan how you want the month to go. Definitely go over your budget sometime this week; you might realize you have more money to spend on self-care than you thought. Maybe get yourself a little treat and indulge just a teeny, weenie bit.

[elvish-sky]

A Queen in Body, Mind, and Spirit Part 2

A.N: Guess who did the writing? Me! So sorry this took an unimaginable amount of time but here you are! Hope it's worth the ridiculously long wait (seriously tho if I was a reader of my own writing and had to wait this long I would have murdered myself thu my screen y'all are angels).

Word Count: 1,574

Chapter 2/2.

Read on Ao3 or Wattpad!

*****

At the banquet, it was all you could do to sit there without fidgeting. People kept coming up to the high table to congratulate you, and you were so nervous all you did was smile and nod. It took Legolas coming up and wishing you well before leaning down to whisper something to Aragorn and pinching your arm at the same time to make you remember you knew how to speak.

Aragorn, thankfully, seemed equally nervous. He’d clearly thought more about this hairbrained scheme in the time since proposing it to you, and that thinking hadn’t done his confidence in it any good. But he was the one who’d gotten the two of you into this mess in the first place, so he had to deal with it. 

“You know…” you said, leaning over to Aragorn, “I’ve been thinking we should do some sort of performance. Or an announcement. Something to make this seem extra official.”

He looked at you like you’d sprouted a second head.

“You want to do something to draw even more attention to us? Why?”

You shrugged. “It seems like something we should do? But honestly, my ass is starting to hurt from sitting down for so long.”

He snorted, and quickly tried and failed to conceal it with a not-so-elegant cough.

“Fine. Let’s dance,” Aragorn said, before rising and offering you his arm. 

“I had something a little more along the lines of sneaking out of the banquet and going to sleep in mind, but I guess dancing works too?” 

You grabbed his proffered arm, letting him help you down the steps from the raised dais where you’d eaten onto the dance floor. As you walked to the center, you saw Legolas rise and tap his spoon against his goblet. 

“The king and his betrothed would like to dance!” Legolas declared. 

With that, every eye in the room that wasn’t already on you—which was admittedly few— looked at you. And you stood in the center of the room, alone except for Aragorn, waiting for the band to start playing.

The band began, strings of notes floating down to your ears as Aragorn placed one hand on your waist and clasped your own in his other. Your other hand rested on his shoulder, careful not to crush his cape. You began to move together, stepping slowly until your feet started to remember the pattern and you picked up speed. You spun around each other, all the other dancers on the floor falling back to simply watch the two of you move in complete harmony. 

Aragorn whirled you around the dance floor, spinning you out with arms always there to bring you back to him. Neither of you really knew what specific dance you were doing, you just let the music take you with the other. The music swelled to its apex and you began a circle of spins on your own, your only point of contact your hand clasped with his above your head, his other arm always there to catch you. Revolving only through the light touches of your feet on the ground, the exact right touch happening almost as if by magic to propel you through. And as you finished the twirls he clasped your waist once more, steadying you as you danced with him again. 

As you moved together his hand crept from your waist to rest on the small of your back, drawing you in closer to him. Your own hand traveled up to rest on the back of his neck, bringing his head down until your foreheads pressed together. You looked into each other's eyes as you slowed your movements, breathing in unison as you pulled apart to silence from those watching. 

Until you saw, out of the corner of your eye, Faramir’s hands raised to clap and then the noise of applause bombarded your senses. You heard a wolf-whistle and knew without looking that it was Legolas. 

You felt a hand on your waist again, and Aragorn guided you back up the steps. People were starting to move back onto the floor as the first strands of a new piece began to trickle through the air, but you didn’t notice. Your eyes were locked with his as you reached your seats, your body knowing that you were supposed to sit but your heart keeping you in place, one hand resting on his shoulder, his still on your waist, poised almost like the beginning of another dance.

And then the moment ended—his eyes broke from yours and looked over your shoulder as Legolas bounded up the steps behind you.

“Aragorn, we cannot have you taking all her time the whole night! The kingdom needs to see their soon to be queen mingle!”

Aragorn seemed surprised for a moment, before dropping his hands and nodding. 

You turned, and took Legolas’s offered arm, gliding down to the floor with him, and spent the rest of the night making small talk with various nobles, none of whose names you would remember the next day. Your mind just kept flitting back to the way Aragorn had looked at you, like you were the only person in the world. It had confused you, because that was the way you felt that you looked at him. But he was not in love with you, so it didn’t make sense. 

Much later that evening, after having excused yourselves from the banquet, you found yourself walking down the torchlit halls, Aragorn alongside you. You reached the door to your rooms and pressed your hand on the handle, ready to open it and say goodnight, but then Aragorn took your other hand and spun you around to face him. 

You stood there for a moment, breath unconsciously held as he simply looked at you.

And then he moved, and held you by your waist and spun you around until you felt the cool wood of the door against your back. He hesitated for a moment, looking at you before slowly kissing you. And then he deepened it, pressing your body against the door as your hands tangled in his hair and you melted into his touch, kissing him in return as you marveled at his actions. You didn’t know how long you spent there with him, kissing each other for the first time, not quite realizing what this meant but knowing it was bringing you delight to be with him.

Later, you stood on the balcony outside your room together, gazing down at the city before he turned to you. Your eyes didn’t move from his as you mirrored him, gazing at the picture he painted. He practically glowed in the moonlight, dark clothes not drowned out by the moonlight but instead set apart from the rest of the world. The silver thread looked like liquified moonlight, and in that moment, even without the crown that had doubtless fallen off somewhere inside, he looked every inch a king.

But he didn’t seem to care. He was simply drinking in the sight of you. You were sure that your cheeks were flushed, eyes bright and hair mussed but he couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away. And he was right not to do so—however much the moonlight made him glow, it was nothing compared to the vision before him. It practically set you aflame, bright colors burning in the night sky as the white light caught the shimmering threads at just the right angle

And then his eyes left you as he moved, suddenly.

“My queen,”Aragorn said, bowing his head.

You stood there, shocked for a moment. 

“Aragorn—”

He looked up, meeting your eyes once more. “I was ignoring what I felt for you in order to make both our lives easier in some way. But I cannot ignore it—I suspect it was this that made me suggest this inane plan in the first place.” 

He laughed then, a small, wry chuckle.

“But I do hope that in doing so we may have found ourselves right in the place that I, at least, was trying to deny in the first place.”

You tilted your head, deep down knowing where he was leading but your heart pounding in your chest was too nervous to follow. 

“Where might that be?”

“Love,” he said. “For me, at least, I have been in love with you for a great deal of time. I am not so presumptuous as to assume that you return my affections, however I must tell you that I dearly wish for us to be betrothed in truth. I want to spend every next step, every coming spin, with you.”

As he spoke your eyes widened, hardly daring to hope but knowing that these words were real. You could tell by the depth of emotion held behind his eyes now, the softness but sureness with which he spoke. And you realized then that you had somehow always known—this was who you were meant to spend all the joyful moments, all the sad moments, and every moment with. 

He took your hand as you opened your mouth, searching your eyes as if bracing himself for your answer.

You laughed, nearing giddiness in this moment, standing on a balcony that overlooked all of Minas Tirith, flaming in the moonlight as the man you loved looked at you as if you were the only thing in the world. 

“Well, then. I believe we should make this betrothal official.”

******

everything taglist: @entishramblings @itgetsatadhazy @boyruins @anjhope1 @kumqu4t @katbby16 @thewhiteladyofrohan @kirstenscaffeinateddisaster @beenovel @shethereadinghobbit @guardianofrivendell @hey-its-nonny @errruvande

[idyllic-affections]

Hello hello helloooo again, Aphe my good friend!

Tis' I, 🐉Anon!!!!

And I'm back again to scratch that HSR x Reader brainworm you've been afflicted with.

But first, I'd first like to congratulate you on bringing Imbibitor Lunae home! And I absolutely feel you on the sudden amassing of oc ideas (I may or may not have come up with a couple of whole ass planets of my own, one of which I've been working on writing up, but that is a tale for another time!)

Anyhow, I approach you tonight (in my timezone) with a brainrot appropriate for both my anonymous moniker, and the occasion at hand. That's right, this ask features the one and only... Cold Dragon Yooooooung! Not to be confused with Cold Dragon Younger or Cold Dragon Youngest

Imagine, the reader is a member of the Astral Express, among the younger members, let's say pre-teens to early teens, and they're a bit of a bookworm. And since Dan Heng has essentially turned the Archives into his room, he's finds himself often being visited by them, sometimes [Name] chats him up, sometimes they're just chilling their quietly as they read through the stories and files that the crew of the express have accumulated over the course of their journey. Perhaps [Name] takes a particular shine to the numerous tales of dragons from across the cosmos, including those of their progenitor, the deceased Aeon of the Permanence, Long. Perhaps over time, Dan Heng takes becomes something of a big brother to [Name] looking out for them, and always makes sure to bring back stories from the world the crew visits for them to look at when they return from missions. Imagine [Name] gazing upon Dan Heng's true form as their eyes light up like stars, and they can't help but go on a lengthy tangent about how absolutely awesome he looks, and how they bet he's so super strong in this form (which like... he is!)

Just a kiddo having an absolute hayday as they find out their big brother figure is a dragon-person!

HI BELOVED..... ahhhh ty!!!! as i told 🐱 anon, i love and adore him. he came home within the first 10 pull and i just think that was so real of him. so much realer than kafka. who never came home. smh. /lh AND YEAH hsr is so fascinating, really. it gives me many oc thoughts.

OHHH I LOVE THIS BRAINROT 🐉 anon must know me well.... i am a professional dan heng liker. also, to be fr with you all, i kind of already know what's up with dan heng LMAO the lore-reading instincts were too strong. dan heng il was sitting right there... what was i supposed to do, not listen to his voice lines and read what little i have unlocked in terms of his story? /lh so this brainrot is fine for me. i don't know everything but i do know enough to respond well to this brainrot, i think.

dan heng would be a good brother i think... blood really doesn't matter. what matters is that he formed a cute bond with this little nerd /aff who is always in the archives with him.

his little sibling will only be allowed to go on trailblaze missions when he feels that they're old and strong enough (even if himeko and mr yang are okay with letting [name] go, if dan heng isn't, then they are stuck on the express LMAO but i don't think they'd mind. they'd just chill in the archives and read while they wait). speaking of which, you know how dan heng has that very... martial art style of fighting? i think he teaches them how to fight properly because, you know, they'll need it. he's always very careful not to hurt them and offers them his quiet form of praise when they do well. AND MAYBE. when the trailblaze mission is concluded, and the astral express is still docked, he'll take them to whatever planet has been visited and will let them explore and observe that planet's unique properties. probably also takes them to a local bookshop. just dan heng having a cute outing with his bookworm little sibling once he knows it is safe to do so.

and ohhhhjshsjg hear me out. dan heng in his true form being so so protective of [name], moreso than he already was before (BECAUSE HEAR ME OUT: dragon instincts)... like. first trailblaze mission. [name]'s in danger. dan heng quietly picks them up, tells them not to look despite the fact that they aren't some naive little kid (to which they oblige, hiding their face in the junction between his neck and shoulder, a little embarrassed that they couldn't handle it themselves), supports their weight with one arm, and fucking WRECKS everything that posed a threat to their safety with the other hand.

AND CONSIDER wounded [name]...... dan heng being something of a hissy, overprotective older dragon brother and refusing to let anyone get too close to them until the other members of the astral express crew manage to talk him down (mostly himeko and welt i think...... march would make it worse unintentionally LMAOOO and stelle is. chaos. so. yeah), eventually managing to convince dan heng to hand over poor wounded [name] so that they can treat whatever wound they got. he's hovering over their shoulder the majority of the time anyway, though, and that's honestly probably really comforting. like yeah. maybe it's a little excessive. but he so blatantly cares a lot about their safety and i just think that would be so reassuring. him letting them squeeze his hand if it hurts too much........ i love playing around with nonhuman characters and how their more feral instincts manifest. dragon instinct dan heng.... cries he's so protective in my brain

but on an even cuter note--dan heng always picking up books and trinkets he thinks they would like while he's on trailblaze missions. he sees something and he's like.... wow.... [name] would like that....

and [name] rambling about how cool he looks and how strong he is *head in hands* PLEASEEE i think he'd be a bit embarrassed and maybe even a little uncomfortable but he knows they mean well.... and it grows on him. like. he starts to find it super cute and endearing :(((