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urgonnaneedabiggership · 2 years ago

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Host of a Ghost

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara (Spiderman: Across The Spiderverse) x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Language. Spoilers (Miguel's backstory is mentioned). Mild violence. Very, very light mention of a foiled SA (not to reader). Some angst.

Word count: 4.1K

Short A/N: This man has become my hyperfixation since I watched the movie and I'd been wanting to write something with him and today finally the muse came to me do I deliver you this decent-sized thing I wrote. Hope you like it <3

PART II

“Unusual” wasn’t a word you would’ve used to describe your life at all. At least not until about a year ago.

It was unusual to find a spider with such an odd color palette roaming your apartment since you were used to more dull-colored typical critters. It was also unusual that you didn’t panic enough to turn the apartment upside down to look for the thing before it bit you, but there was too much work to do, and a million notes from Dr. Connors to go over. It was equally unusual that you hadn’t rushed to the hospital the minute you noticed the tiny marks on your thigh.

“I mean, if it was really dangerous, it would have hurt more.” Was your reasoning to ignore it and keep scanning the pages before you. Nobody said pursuing a Ph.D. was without sacrifice.

By the time you tried to stand up to make more coffee just to end up collapsing on your kitchen floor, it was much too late.

From then on, “unusual” was pretty much every day’s motto.

Having a nightmare that night about being suffocated and unable to escape just to wake up hanging upside down and wrapped in sticky shit was the first clue. Turns out you were actually able to produce said sticky shit at will in the shape of a thin thread, then you discovered the wall-climbing abilities, and before you knew it you were roaming the city at night trying to get comfortable threading between the tall buildings, running across rooftops and challenging yourself to climb this or that building as fast as you could. You felt indestructible, alive. It was wonderful.

You’d never forget the night of your first save either. For several reasons.

It was an ordinary night, right before returning to your apartment, when a violent shiver abruptly ran up your spine and every cell in your body commanded you to stop. When you did, a scuffle in a nearby alley caught your eye. A young girl was violently shoved against a wall by a man who pressed his hand against her mouth. The same second his hand came dangerously close to the zipper of her jacket, you practically tackled him from above and pinned him against the ground, having no clue of what to do besides throwing punches at his face until you knocked him out. A whimper coming from a dumpster behind made you realize you had an audience.

“Shit,” you cursed under your breath, remembering your uncovered face, the only solution at hand is to wrap your scarf around your head to try and hide as much as possible, “Oh god this feels too much like cultural appropriation for my taste,” You kept nervously rambling to yourself as you slowly approached the dumpster.

“Um…hi,” You greeted, “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”

Being met with nothing but silence, you were about to leave when a soft voice replied.

“No. He didn’t. Thank you so much.”

“Is there…I don’t know; is there somebody you want me to call?”

“I want to call my mom.” She replied, her voice still shaking, “He took my phone.”

“Right. Phone. Okay.” You quickly made your way back to the unconscious man and pawed his clothes looking for it. He let out a groan in protest.

“Yeah it doesn’t feel right, does it asshole?” You muttered as you retrieved it from one of his pockets. Then you shoved him onto his stomach to tie his hands and legs behind his back before returning to the girl.

“Here. It still works,” You just held it over the dumpster, seeing nothing but her pale hand as it reached out to take it before you took a few steps back.

“No, wait,” She immediately pleaded, “Please don’t leave me alone with him.”

“Like hell I am. I’m staying right here.”

So you waited with her until the police arrived. However, the minute you saw the flickering lights and heard the approaching siren, you retreated into the dark part of the alley and climbed onto the nearest building to escape through the rooftops.

It wasn’t until you were back in your apartment that you realized you’d been smiling all the way home. Carefully shutting the window behind you, you let yourself fall onto the couch and screamed joyfully, the pillow muffling the sound.

She was okay. A person was okay because you could intervene and do something about it.

However, a new wave of shivers flooded your veins so abruptly that you sat down immediately.

“Yeah, I know how that feels,” Came a feminine voice from the unlit kitchen, “Being able to help, I mean.”

You scrambled to your feet and started walking backward. However, the voice didn’t remain hidden for too long. A woman emerged from the shadows, dressed in red with a yellow hairband pushing her near-afro hair back. She greeted you with a soft smile.

“Your reflexes need polishing,”

“My…?” You repeated, dumbfounded.

“And you have to learn how to fight properly. Randomly throwing punches isn’t always going to cut it,”

“I’m sorry, who are you? Why are you in my apartment? Were you following me? Do you know about…?”

“Whoa, slow down, kid. I know you have questions, and I might be able to help you with that. But you’re going to have to come with me.”

“Alright, I’ll…let me just get my car keys,”

“Oh, sweetie,” The woman said in between laughs, not malicious but truly amused, “You have so much to learn,”

You were starting to wonder why she had elongated that “o” like that until, after pressing a few buttons on the device around her wrist, something that you would’ve described as a “black hole on LSD” erupted in the middle of your living room.

That night you learned that her name was Jessica Drews and that she was completely right about you having so much to learn. With a four-second-o.

Over the following months, you became capable of things you didn’t think possible. Walls that took you a minute to climb became easy obstacles that didn’t take up more than fifteen seconds of your time, your fighting skills had also improved exponentially under Jess’s tutelage, and of course, going from a life where you could count your friends with less than one hand to being constantly surrounded by amazing (no pun intended) Spider-People who not only understood the changes you were going through but warmly welcomed you into their circle was more than you could’ve asked for.

Well, perhaps some more willingly than others. And by others you meant him.

He, who seemed to be always around, silently watching but never intervening.

He, who despite being allegedly “always locked up in his lab” always seemed to personally oversee your training since day one.

Whom you’d tried to greet as gleefully as you did the others just to receive, if anything, a vague nod of acknowledgment. In your first three months, you had spoken maybe four times. Well, you had. He only hummed, nodded, or answered in monosyllables. You knew better than to waste your energy with people like that, but for some reason you were unwilling to just accept Miguel O’Hara didn’t like you and that was that.

“For some reason” being code for “I’m one second away from fainting every time he as much as looks in my direction,”

You weren’t a child, for crying out loud. You were aware that no matter how cold, distant, and seemingly indifferent the leader of your new team was, he was an insanely attractive man. Even with the fangs…no, especially with the fangs, for some reason. His whole aura that screamed “completely-inaccessible-frighteningly-powerful-twice-my-size-man” had you harboring a huge crush on him within two months of meeting him. So painfully unrequited that it was embarrassing. Just the fact he could ignore your greetings and surely never think twice of it but you would spend the rest of the day wondering what you could’ve possibly said to make him at least say “hello” back made you want to scream into a pillow until your throat burned.

It was right up there with the time he’d muttered ��much better’ when he saw you land a kick you’d been practicing and those three seconds kept playing on your head for the rest of the week.

The night of your first mission you decided you were going to prove your worth, not to your crush but to your team leader.

“I told him you’re ready,” Jess said with a proud smile, “He’s going to call you in sometime throughout the day to let you know where you’ll be going and with whom, probably me. How do you feel?”

“Excited, I guess,” You replied, pressing your lips together anxiously, “Also nervous. I don’t want to screw this up.”

“With me as your mentor? That’s unlikely,” Jess replied with a wink, giving you an encouraging pat on your shoulder as she walked away.

However, the day continued normally. You did some assigned tasks here and there, which mostly included helping Spider-Byte to keep everything running smoothly given your background in the tech field. You grabbed lunch, then thought it would be a good idea to train some more before going away.

You were beginning to lose all hope when, as you leaned down to fix some wiring, Lyla popped right beside your head and called your name so loudly you hit your head against the metal and hissed. One year and still you hadn’t used to the way she appeared out of nowhere.

“Oops, sorry,” She promptly apologized, “Well you’ll have to walk that off, Miguel wants to see you STAT.”

“How am I supposed to walk a head injury off, Lyla?” You joked, rubbing your forehead as you rushed across the halls with the holographical figure floating after you.

“Not in my code,” She replied using her usual excuse.

When you walked into his working space, Miguel’s back was turned to you as he used a digital pen to do some annotations on what looked like blueprints of new equipment. After he didn’t react to your presence for a few seconds, you hesitantly walked closer and cleared your throat.

“That looks nice. Is it a new suit?” You asked, as always, trying to start a conversation.

“I just received an alert about the…” He stopped and sighed as if saying the silly nickname was physically painful to him, “…the Go-Home-Machine. It said there was a small power overload since we sent back that Vulture from the 192-011 Universe.”

“Yeah, but Byte and I are already working on that and it should be fully functional by tomorrow morning,” You replied, a bit confused as to what that had to do with your mission.

“Good. Let me know as soon as it’s fixed.” Miguel hastily replied, not even turning to face you until a whole minute passed and he realized you were still standing there. Even then, he just barely turned his head.

“That’s all, (Y/N). Thank you.”

That’s all? What do you mean that’s all?

“Was there something else you wanted to do?” He asked. Shit. You’d said that out loud.

“I…Jessica told me that I’m ready to go on a mission and that today you…”

“I said I would think about it, and I have.”

He fell silent again. No matter how attractive he was, you were starting to truly get pissed at his stupid theatrical antics.

“And?”

“And the answer’s no. You’re not ready yet.”

That felt like all the disappointments in your entire life added up and multiplied by ten. Especially because of how easily he dismissed you despite being aware of how hard you’d worked, how many nights you decided to forgo hours of sleep just to train and polish every movement until it was as close to flawless as you could.

“Not ready yet?” You practically hissed in a voice you almost didn’t recognize. Hell, it was enough for him to put down the pen. “Not ready yet? That kid Pavitr has been here for what? A month? And he’s already going off on missions. Alone, I might add!”

Unsurprisingly, he did not answer.

“And he’s very, very good, I’m not saying he isn’t. But I’m just as good. And more experienced, both at being here and at being a Spider-Person. I have completed every training scenario you’ve thrown my way, worked my ass off to understand every bit of information regarding interdimensional traveling, and studied the protocol to control anomalies, what is it that you still need me to prove?”

He took a deep breath. So deep that his shoulders rose, flexing the muscles of his back in such a way that if you hadn’t been so angry, you would’ve been too distracted to keep arguing. Even with your blood boiling, you couldn’t help but stare and feel your stomach tense at the sight.

“Do you like being part of this team, (Y/N)? Do you like training in our headquarters, having access to all our information, and maintaining contact with the other members of this society?”

“Of course I do,” You replied immediately. Slowly, Miguel turned around to face you completely and walked towards you, descending the two small steps that separated you until he stood towering over you. Even if your knees were about to give in to this unexpected closeness, this wasn’t the time to fold. You held his glare defiantly and folded your arms in an attempt to mentally guard yourself against him.

“Then I suggest you get in line and do as you’re told,” He said in a low voice. But it wasn’t threatening, or condescending. It was an odd, flat tone. Tired, perhaps. Almost as if…as if he was reprimanding you against his will.

He was almost unbearably close. You could feel his breath hitting your face. If right then all logic flew out of the window and you stood on your tiptoes you could…

“I’ll do that when you’ve earned my respect, and I have a policy of reciprocity when it comes to respect, Miguel. I’ve been in line for a year, I’ve listened, learned, and improved so much that if you’re still looking down on me, then it’s your problem, not mine. And no self-righteous, big-headed…”

“Just get out,” He cut you off, once again turning his back to you and walking towards the blueprints again.

“Oh no, I’m not finished…” You insisted, trying to follow him. However, as soon as you gave one step forward he turned around so violently that you stumbled backward and stared at him with something you hadn’t felt towards him up until then: fear.

“Yes, you are,” Was his only reply. As dull as the others.

While you could only see his face for a moment before he walked past you and left the room, something about his expression stuck with you even hours later, when you laid on your bed at night and combed through the scene over and over. You thought he would be fuming, maybe even shocked that you’d dared to talk to him like that. The last thing you expected was for him to look…upset. Hurt, even. The mere thought of you being able to hurt Miguel O’Hara was as ridiculous as imagining a goldfish fighting back against a shark. Still, you realized that even if you thought he was in the wrong, you felt bad about how things went down back there. You would never understand what being the leader of hundreds of super-powered people was like. Commanding each and directing their particular abilities as best as he could all while maintaining a vigilant eye on endless strings of causes and effects because he knew firsthand the consequences of being careless with them.

Even if he had made a mistake with you and of course you still wanted to address it later, right then all you wanted was to apologize.

And so, not even an hour later you were roaming the halls of the HQ, your heart beating furiously as you got closer to his quarters, wondering what you could even begin to say.

When the automatic doors slid open, you stepped inside and turned back to look as the doors closed behind you. Well, no turning back now.

“Miguel?” You called, looking around the large room, pondering whether a first-name basis was okay. After everything that had happened, going back to Mr. O’Hara sounded terribly stupid. Then your eyes landed on the row of screens where he spent most of his time. An extremely ill-timed wave of curiosity filled your chest as you approached them, taking another look at the seemingly empty room before stepping onto the platform. Getting bolder, you reached out your hand and brushed your fingertips across one of the screens. It immediately came to life with a blue glow, startling you and making you curse under your breath. You were about to look for a button to switch it off when a video started playing automatically from where he had left off. He was in it, holding a young girl. Miguel wasn’t just smiling. He was laughing. His laugh was exactly as you’d pictured it. Not particularly loud, but hearty and low. He had the kind of laugh that made you unwittingly smile as well as a newfound sympathy filled your chest as tears filled your eyes when you pictured that being taken from him just like that. How could one have a family, and then one day be completely alone and keep going?

With a renewed disposition to make things better between you, your hand reached out for the switch that would turn the screen off until a third voice piqued your interest. It belonged to whoever was holding the camera.

“Would you please stop hoarding her? I deserve some mother-daughter time too! Here, hold this thing and give her to me,” The voice said between laughs. There was something about that voice that made an extremely cold shiver run down your spine.

“Fine, you’re right. Bueno pues, mijita, ve con mamá, ¿quieres ir con mamá?”

The picture became blurry as the camera switched places with a giggling Gabriella, who could be briefly seen stretching her arms toward the third figure.

“Alright,” Came Miguel’s voice again, “But when I turn the camera towards you I want both of you to blow Daddy a kiss, can you do that for me?”

Without waiting for an answer, he turned the camera around.

And then you found yourself staring into your own eyes. They weren’t quite the same shade as yours, and “your” hair was styled differently. And “you” had freckles. But otherwise, it was like staring into an interdimensional mirror. Then, your voice spoke.

“Okay sweetie, let’s humor him, shall we? Blow Daddy a kiss. And another one from me because now I have to use both arms to hold you, my big girl!”

Miguel laughed again at the way his daughter’s face lit up at being called a “big girl”.

“¿Saben que las amo a las dos, verdad?”

“And Gabriella loves you too. I think you’re…nice enough.”

“(Y/N), I don’t think you marry somebody for ‘nice enough’, mi amor,”

“I love you too. Against my better judgment.”

With one last interrupted laugh, the video ended, and, in a cruel irony, the once again black screen showed your actual reflection.

Except this time, it wasn’t the only one. With a loud gasp, you turned around. After seeing him in that video, it became much more evident that the Miguel in it was nothing but a memory of the past. And in a matter of seconds, everything shifted into place like a gloomy puzzle. His expression was unreadable, though he wasn’t even looking at you. His eyes were fixed on the empty screen.

“I wasn’t supposed to ever see that, was I?” Was the only thing that came to your mind after a lengthy, tense silence.

“What good would it have done?” He replied, almost numbly.

“So that’s why you’ve always…stared?” You kept pushing. Against your better judgment, you thought.

“It was at first,” Came his only response. Like always, it seemed like you would have to tear the answers off him.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You asked, turning your head to look for his eyes. Even then, something warm filled your chest. Something that made your heart beat so quickly you felt as if it would stop at any moment, and it spread all over you no matter how much you tried to fend it off. Hope.

Surprisingly, this time he caved in and looked at you. Still, the answer never came. For the first time in all the time you’d known him, Miguel O’Hara was at a loss for words. And that said more than anything he could’ve come up with.

“And you expect me to believe that, by sheer chance, you happened to catch feelings for somebody who is practically your wife’s interdimensional twin?”

“It sounds so much worse when you say it like that,” Was that a hint of a smile? An attempt at a joke? One year and the only time he’d bothered to be decent to you was when you were talking about how much you looked like her?

With an annoyed look, you moved away from him and started to make your way to the exit.

“Do you think I wanted this?” He spoke rather loudly, his whispers going out of the window as he started to follow you across the room.

Miguel O’Hara following you to keep you from leaving. Just hours before you would’ve died of happiness at the mere thought of this scenario. Right now, your brain was a flurry of thoughts and emotions that you didn’t know how to handle.

“I was doing an amazing job at keeping my distance. Watching you from afar, seeing you laugh, grow, win everybody over with that awfully big heart of yours, and still I reined myself in,” He continued, “Today’s the perfect example. You thought I didn’t respect you, for fuck’s sake! I respect you so much that every single day I have ignored you and pretended you are nothing but another face in the halls. Damn it, (Y/N), I couldn’t even look you in the eye when for months you’ve been all I’ve wanted. All because I didn’t know if I loved you or what was left of her. And I didn’t want you to get involved in shit that’s mine to figure out.”

Hearing him not only withdraw his previous statement of you not being capable of doing things and accepting the problem was his and not yours made you stop in your tracks.

Fine, the sudden (though odd) love declaration had something to do with it too.

“So you don’t think I’m not ready?” You asked, turning around and even taking some steps towards him.

“Are you serious? I’ve watched you closely all these months. You learn in days what others do in weeks. You push yourself way more than so many of our members and yet I’ve never, ever seen you become overconfident. Today you never said you knew everything. You said you knew enough.”

This time, it was you who remained silent. There was something else you wanted him to elaborate on, and from the look in his eyes, you realized he knew damn well what it was.

“You were right. The problem wasn’t yours. It was mine all along. I could manage to push you away and keep my feelings at bay. But knowing that you were eventually going to go out there and take so many risks...worst case scenario, you could get hurt or not come back at all. That was too much for me to handle, s’all.”

“Were you afraid of losing me…?” You started to ask just for him to interrupt you.

“Yes. Very much.” However, you lifted a hand to stop him. You weren’t finished.

“Were you afraid of losing me, or were you afraid of losing her again, Miguel?”

Three seconds later, when no answer came out of his mouth, you were about to turn around once again when he rushed and stood in front of you. For a second, you thought he was going to grab your shoulders to keep you in place. Not wanting to come off as if he was forcing you to stay, his hands just hovered on both sides of your shoulders without touching you.

“Listen, she wasn’t a picky eater like you are. But I swear that woman never drank enough water and every time I see you there’s either a bottle in your hand or laying around. And she was so, so messy. It took us at least ten minutes to find the keys every single time…and Spider-Byte said you sort your tools by size and color. Color. (Y/N), I don’t think even I…”

“Are you getting somewhere with this?”

“You’re not her, (Y/N). You have never been, and you never will, I know that. I want you to know that I wouldn’t want you to be any other way. I love you.”

After that, he moved out of the way and folded his arms.

“If you want to go back to your dimension and stay there for a while…or for good, I don’t know, I completely…”

“I love you too, you know?” You cut him off, pressing your lips together after blurting out the three words that’d been haunting you for the past months. Words that up until now you were sure would never leave your chest. When you turned to look at him, you saw in his eyes what minutes ago had filled yours. Hope.

God, his face was so hauntingly beautiful when his features softened.

“What do you want from me?” You finally asked him, your voice shaky from the effect you knew his answer would have regardless of what it was.

Miguel moved closer to you almost hesitantly, his eyes never leaving yours. When he was close enough, he reached out with both his hands and slid them up the back of your neck, his thumbs tucked in front of your ears as his warm palms engulfed the back of your head so he could hold you while he brought his face down to press his forehead against yours.

“Mi amor, I’d give you all I am and be happy with whatever you’re willing to give me for now,”

You knew it would take some time for you to get used to hearing him say things like that without wondering if you were the only one in his mind when he did. It would be a while until you felt completely certain that you were made of flesh and bone and not just a ghost in his eyes, but it would happen. You saw his eyes as he drew his face closer to yours and when your lips touched, you knew that it would definitely happen sooner or later. Until then, you thought as you stood on your tiptoes when he almost desperately pressed his lips onto yours, he was very much worth the wait.

#miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x y/n #miguel o'hara fic #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x female reader #spiderman across the spiderverse #marvel imagine #marvel fanfiction #spiderman 2099 #spiderman atsv #across the spiderverse #atsv

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anika-ann · 5 years ago

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Conundrum (A.B.)

Type: One-shot, challenge fic

Pairing: Andy Barber x fem!reader Word Count: 7700 (:

Summary: conundrum - a confusing and difficult problem or question

Andy Barber is a difficult man whom you have yet to understand. He certainly doesn’t make it any easier; and right before Christmas, he manages to surprise you again.

Prompt: You have to look for a gift impromptu

Warnings: a smidge of angst, a drop of awkward humour, mention of death (mild AU - both Laurie and Jacob!), alcohol consumption, feels, explicit language, reader gets called a dumbass... that’s it I hope, lemme know

A/N: This is my submission for the Happy Hoelidays challenge. There’s no hoeing tho, shame on me. Also, if you want some music to go with this, know that I listened to ‘God I Hope This Year Is Better Than the Last’ by SYML an obscene amount of times.

Andy Barber was an enigma.

Reporters liked to think he wasn’t; almost a year ago, they tore down all the walls he had built up to protect the privacy of his family and they shed light into startingly intimate details of his life – and where they couldn’t shed light, they used their imagination and sold it with a claim of having a reliable source. Naturally, it worked; there were always people willing to believe it just so they obtained more of juicy gossip material.

There were wanabe psychologists who would address his trauma and tried to analyse his personality, the consequences he would suffer in the aftermath of the tragedy, who attempted to strip down his soul just to get a few more reads and generally talked about him as if they were best friends, as if they knew him.

It was all a load of bullshit.

The truth, you thought, was that no one knew him. If you were being honest, you weren’t sure if even his wife ever had, truly – but that was you under the influence of the little information you bothered to gather from the influx of crap that the media provided the public with.

What you believed was that the reporters and all the self-proclaimed experts on him knew nada.

Andrew Barber was and always would remain an enigma; to the public, to the little what remained of his family after the death of his wife and son, to his co-workers – the category which included you. If you could even call yourself a co-worker; you were simply a secretary. Granted, one whose previous employer let her peek over their shoulder quite a bit so you learned a thing or two about law, but Andy Barber was the lawyer. The former DA from Boston, who moved over to rule the DA office of Portland, your home.

Even after having been working with him for nine full months, Andy’s thoughts and feelings didn’t get any easier for you to read or predict. When he wanted to let you know he was disappointed, he did. When he was truly angry with someone, well, he wouldn’t let it go unnoticed either.

Other than that, however, you would have had better luck trying to decode the actual enigma-encrypted messages sent during World War II.

Small talk didn’t last longer than three sentences from you each. Work-related affaires were discussed in his office with politeness and with calm, rather dispassionate mannerism. If you caught a hint of a smile when an important case that helped people went his way (or the office’s way really), you considered it a miracle that sent your heart reeling.

He would sometimes smile only for you if you brought him a coffee without him asking first, simply because he looked like he needed one; at those times, he would thank you softly and let slip in your first name instead of referring to you with your last. Those were your favourite moments.

Well, almost.

You found him with a tumbler and an expensive whiskey on occasion when you were leaving the office late; you never commented on it, but there were four times he actually silently invited you to have a glass with him. You refused the first time and accepted the other three.

Those nights, you got a glimpse of the mystery of a man hidden behind surprisingly soft mannerism, one which was in such a sharp contrast to his shark-like demeanour he displayed in front of the judge and the jury. His scars ran deep, his hopes had been shattered, his life in the past year as bitter as the overpriced liquor. Your heart cracked for him to the point of nearly breaking altogether.

And yet, it was beating for him too; behind all that hurt, you couldn’t but notice certain gentleness. Yes, he could be scary, downright terrifying and when his temper got the best of him, the true rage on display, he was a force to be reckoned with. But oh, that gentleness. The kind shattered soul he hid so well every morning, more so on the days right after your little heart-to-hearts. Trying to build a working relationship with him – a friendship of a sort, anything you wanted to call it – was a game of push and pull and more of a string of guesses than an effort that would bore fruit.

You might have already given up on that and instead, with the ferocity you hadn’t known you possessed, you kept punching the crush you had on him; that silly thing that would always call louder and louder after he revealed a piece of him on one of the precious nights, only to shut you out completely the next morning.

Andy Barber had never even remotely showed a romantic interest in you and by God, did you not blame him for not being interested in anyone at all as far you knew. While you considered yourself a fairly capable worker and half-decent person, you were aware you could never measure up to him. Just another reason to push down the feelings you had for him, ones that seemed to bloom with more intensity whenever he raised the corners of his damn lips, when he asked a question about you during those stupid nights as if he cared— nonsense. You had to get rid of those. He didn’t even like you, barely acknowledged you in the end. Or did he? You honestly didn’t know.

Bottom line was that if you couldn’t get close enough, then the reporters knew jack shit, no matter how much reading on him they had done or how many books on psychology, criminology and law and shit they went through. Many people knew Andrew Barber’s name, but no one could hope to know him.

And yet, those assholes still called and asked about him.

It was the fourth one that day; December 23rd, over a year from the accusation of Jacob Barber, and those fucking vultures still called Andy Barber’s office. They weren’t even good newspapers and news sites anymore; obviously, because every rational decent person would have let the poor man rest. But nope. Not them.

“Portland’s DA office, secretary of Mr. Barber speaking. How may I help you?”

“Oh, wonderful! Is there any chance I could talk to Mr. Barber personally?” the chipper of a man asked on the other end of the line and just by not giving his name, he raised suspicion; was it forgetfulness caused by his distress or intention?

Fortunately for him and unfortunately for you, you had to be polite. Hot-shot lawyers and other important people rarely returned the courtesy, but that was the world you lived in.

“There might be, Mr-?”

“Oh, Connor. Peter Connor.”

“Well, Mr. Connor, what is your legal issue?” you asked patiently, writing down his name automatically.

“Well, you see, I would rather talk with Mr. Barber about—my delicate situation, in private.”

Your eyes narrowed as you stopped scribbling and spared a brief glance towards the door to Andy’s office. It was opened ajar in what could be an invitation, but all blinds on both the door and the windows were down in typical fashion.

Talk in private?

Yeah, not gonna happen. You knew a few tricks that these assholes calling the office tended to pull and whoever this man was, you were growing more suspicious by the minute that he was not seeking legal advice.

You went back to your notes and wrote down the word liar right next to his name and a question mark. Was he a liar? One way to find out you guessed; you caught your phone between your ear and your shoulder, opening a new tab in your browser to google the name along with a wild guess of him being a reporter.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Connor, I’m afraid I will need more information before I put you through. And I will probably need to make you an appointment, my boss is a very busy man-“

“Oh, is he? Lots of cases in Andrew Barber’s new district, huh?”

The blood in your veins was set aflame even before the search was done, because in an instant, you knew for sure.

And then you had it confirmed by the results.

This jerk had even given you his real name, utterly shameless. Sure, he could have only had the same name as the journalist you found, but what were the chances? Two days after you told his colleague – who had made it through your vetting, got an appointment and even got past the reception desk before you spotted him for what he was – to get lost and not try again?

Your pulse skyrocketed along with your blood pressure. Technically, you didn’t owe Andrew Barber anything, but he was respectful enough, didn’t make much trouble and for most time, was an okay boss to you.

You owed him this much: he was a decent guy. Why couldn’t other people show a shed of basic human decency too and leave him the fuck alone?

“That depends, Mr. Connor,” you purred, barely holding the outrage locked inside. You felt both energized by your anger and achingly tired and done with humanity. You rested your elbows on the desk and leaned onto it with a sigh, massaging the bridge of your nose, eyes closed. “Is he going to have to sue your rag of a newspaper or will you and your colleagues finally get the memo and leave. His. Personal. Life. Alone?!”

You most definitely strained the last words through your teeth, but you didn’t care anymore if you were being rude. He was the fourth reporter today ready to ask about Andy’s personal matters. The FOURTH!! He was lucky you didn’t tell him to go fuck himself… explicitly.

“Are you threatening me?” the man demanded, his voice insulted, losing all traced of pretence.

As if you ever. You knew better than that, working with lawyers.

“Nice try, Mr. Connor. I will thank you to never call this office again unless you have legal issues or a relevant question which you should direct to our PR department anyway. And if you could extend this to all editorial staff, please, preferably to all editorial staff in the United States, that would be splendid. Have a good day. Happy Holidays.”

You slammed the phone down, missing the slot for it, not caring. You were sure he would hang up on his own.

“Asshole,” you muttered under your breath and hid your face in your palms, grunting, fingertips sinking into your hair.

“I hope you don’t mean me,” sounded from the doorway and you yelped, honest to god yelped and straightened in your seat, head snapping up-

-only to meet your boss’ curious gaze. Hurt and anger casted shadows over his beautiful cerulean irises, but there was no mistaking the melancholy and resignation on his face either.

“Of course not!” you blurted out quickly, panic rising in your chest.

How much had he heard? Was he going to fire you for being unprofessional? Did he figure out what was this about— of course he did, there was little room left for doubt. Your choice of words was pretty straightforward.

Andy bounced off of the doorframe he was leaning onto, not easing his stance – his arms remained crossed over his chest and had you not been so alarmed, you would have indulged in the sight of his biceps nearly cutting through the seams of his shirt.

“Why do I get the impression that whoever you were talking to was not the first person to call the office to feed on ‘the misery man’ that Andrew Barber is?” he more stated than asked, his tone unmistakably bitter.

You gulped as he approached your desk, nails digging into your palms. You had no idea what to say. Once again, you couldn’t quite read Andy; you had no idea where this was heading and how you should answer without setting him off, making him sadder or even more bitter. And without getting fired, obviously.

“I—uhm, well, I suppose you heard me, so you know he wasn’t the first—Mr. Barber. I apologize-“ His eyebrows rose a fraction and you didn’t dare to analyse why. “-if I was too loud. But--- humanity sucks.”

The moment the last two words left your mouth, you instantly regretted them, snapping your eyelids close and squeezing. You were sure you were about to have bloody crescents in your palms from your nails at this point.

Did you really just say that? To your boss, no less?

Way to go, me.

“Not wrong there. Why don’t you take your lunch break now?” he offered casually.

You nodded as you felt the tell-tale burn of tears forming in your eyes; fuck, this was humiliating. Why had he had to walk in exactly in that moment? And now using that tone?

He didn’t say anything else and you didn’t dare to look at him. Only when you heard him walk back to his office and close the door behind him, you opened your eyes and released the breath you were holding, your heart hammering in your chest.

Gulping and swallowing your tears before they could escape, you grabbed your purse and your coat, rushing out to the cold air of Portland winter.

✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧

Andy didn’t bring up the incident again when you came back. You had a short list of assignments for the upcoming days off which you went over with him before parting ways for the holidays. You mentioned you would probably drop in tomorrow despite not necessarily having to, but wished him Happy Holidays in case you’d miss him during your brief visit.

The corners of his lips twitched at that, but he wished you the same. You supposed his holidays weren’t about to be happy – more like the opposite. Last year, he celebrated with his family, even if it might have been already falling apart. This year however…

Your heart cracked another fraction for the man and you wondered if you should leave some cookies for him in the office tomorrow at least. Then you realized he would probably hate it, either being bitter about feeling like a charity case or hating the reminder of what he had lost, what wasn’t waiting for him at home anymore. Not to mention that maybe even the poinsettia, which you had placed on his office window two days ago and neither of you commented on, was already too much.

The only cookies you baked that night were the ones you knew should stay in a box with apples for over a day, the cookies you were supposed to bring to your sister’s house for Christmas, because your nephew Harry loved them.

With cheesy Christmas songs in the background and a bottle of wine for the party of one, you kneaded the double batch of dough and couldn’t but spare your achingly handsome and likely lonely boss a thought and maybe… maybe a tear or two.

✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧

The office was empty when you arrived on 24th at around half past four; everyone left as soon as possible, which was to be expected. Admittedly, despite not knowing what you would talk about with Andy, you found your heart sinking when you didn’t see light peeking through the blinds of your and his offices. You had expected him to be working to avoid being at home; but then again, you knew next to nothing about him. Maybe he was with a girlfriend. With a boyfriend. With former colleagues. With his deceased wife’s family. It was only assumption of yours that he might be lonely on Christmas.

You shook your head at your train of thought as you unlocked your office, mentally going over which files you needed to bring home, trying to eliminate the amount as not to endanger confidential information by taking them away from the safety of the bureau.

You froze in your tracks when you found a rather large piece of paper folded into a roof on your desk. A note, you realized, frowning and slowly walking to the suspicious object.

There were very few people who could enter your space, namely three: the janitor, you and Andy. The first option was unlikely, the second impossible, the third confusing. You didn’t understand why he wouldn’t just shoot you a text if he needed anything.

You halted in your steps, the air knocked out of your lungs when you noticed that the note was not the only new item on your desk.

There was a box.

A box roughly size of your extended palm. And if you weren’t mistaken… it looked like a jewellery gift box.

“What the hell?” you asked yourself breathlessly, your curiosity getting the best of you; more so as you recognized what was most definitely Andy’s handwriting on the paper.

Andrew Barber, your boss, with whom you weren’t sure what your relationship was – if there was any at all – might have got you jewellery.

Say that again?

A tiny voice in your head told you he might have just used the box for something else entirely, but that didn’t seem to be his style.

So you picked up the gift carefully, almost reverently removing the lid, your heart pounding in your chest, stomach twisting with pleasant anticipation; with the familiar rush that kids feel when opening a present with high hopes of what could await them inside.

Your lips parted in pure shock, you mind turning blank.

There were no words in English language to express how… how absolutely magnificent the bracelet inside was.

Five thin circles with symbols made of slender lines inside, looking like charms, but withing the body of the bracelet, one clasped to the next one with delicate ellipses. The metal reflected the fluorescent lights of the office, glimmering softly, appearing almost fluid, a thin stream of water trapped in a box.

You actually had to blink and it took all your willpower not to pinch yourself, because—how-

How had he known? Where had he got it? Holy mother of Jesus, how much had he spent on it?

And why get you a gift in the first place? You were… acquaintances at best. Yes, there were almost friendly moments, and then there were those nights, but this was---this- you couldn’t even---- think, apparently.

Keeping an eye on the opened box, you gently placed it back on the desk, afraid to even touch the metal itself. You blindly reached into your purse in search for your phone to dial the only number that made sense for you to dial at that moment.

It sure as hell wasn’t Andy’s.

Nothing but a dialling tone sounded for half a minute, the time seemingly endless. You fell heavily into your chair, still staring at the absolutely gorgeous and thoughtful gift.

How did he know?!

You fought the urge to roll your eyes as your sister still didn’t answer the phone and your hand automatically reached for your necklace to toy with.

And that was when it hit you.

Your necklace; one you got from your sister during the period of your biggest obsession with the Divergence series. Two arrows in a circle pointing different directions, the symbol for a ‘divergent’ person. Your eyes wandered over the five circles of the bracelet – scales, an eye, hands connected, a flame, a tree –, an incredulous chuckle escaping you.

But--- you didn’t think he would notice. You didn’t even wear it all the time, rather often, yes, and yeah, perhaps you did have a bit of a bad habit of fumbling with it when nervous-

“Hey sis! What’s up?” Amber’s voice sounded cheerily from the microphone. You jumped in your seat, startled by her as she interrupted your musing. “Please tell me you’re still coming, because Harry wouldn’t shut up about his favourite chocolate chip.”

You cleared your throat, barely able to comprehend what she was talking about, too caught up in your head.

“I—hi. Uhm- I need help actually,” you finally stuttered and you could practically feel her frown even over the phone.

“Oh? Is everything okay? You sound… a little strange.”

“That’s-“ not wrong. You scanned the office and listened in for the tinniest noise, making sure you were still alone. “I’m at the office and I--eh, I found a gift for me.”

“Awww, a secret admirer? Nice!” Amber chuckled, then abruptly stopped. “…unless it’s a stalker. You don’t think you have a stalker, right? Is that why you called me, so I could tell George? He’s not on duty-“

This time you did roll your eyes at the mention of her husband who happened to be a police officer.

“No, Amber, I have no stalker as far as I know. I’m pretty sure I can recognize my boss’ handwriting at this point.”

Nothing but silence could be heard from the other end for a good minute. You bit your lip in anticipation of… something.

And then: “You’re shitting me.”

“Not really-“

“Holy mother of-!” your sister squealed loudly and you winced, instinctively withdrawing from the phone. “Your boss got you a Christmas present?! --Wait. Is it a Walmart card? Because if it is, then this call is pointless, because that’s boring as-“

“No, Amber, he—he gave me a bracelet,” you admitted softly, your gaze once again wandering over the said object. Beautiful. Fragile. Yours, apparently. What?

When Amber only responded with silence again, words suddenly spilled from your lips, all the mixed feelings you had about receiving the bracelet released, relief singing in your veins as you vented.

“And-and it’s actually really beautiful and--- it’s thoughtful, because it has all the fractions from Divergence on it? But not like something you buy for ten dollars, only paying for the copyright or whatever and the quality is shitty, no, I mean--- it looks pretty, eh, delicate.”

It did, awfully so, which was why you still couldn’t make yourself to touch it even if you really, really liked it and wanted to do nothing but to wear it for the rest of your damn life.

“And expensive. I-- I think it might be real silver and…” you wavered, almost scared to share your last observation out loud for it seemed impossible for it to be true. “Amber, you know I looked through a lot of Divergence-related goods so I would know. It- it doesn’t look familiar at all, it’s--- I think it might be custom-made.”

You choked on the last word, tasting so strange on your tongue as you couldn’t quite believe that you were saying it. You felt--- incredulous to put it simply… and touched and- absolutely bewildered.

Silence stretched in the follow-up to your rambling and you felt your brows drawing together.

“…Amber? You there?”

“Oh yeah, I’m here,” she assured you swiftly, mischief curling around the tone of her voice like a smirk on her lips you couldn’t see. “Just wondering how could you not tell me you started sleeping with him-“

“What?! No!” you protested instantly, straightening in the chair. “I’m not—I’m not his sugar baby or whatever! This is not a ‘thank you for letting me fuck you raw’ gift-“

“Not that you would complain from what I heard and saw-“ she hummed playfully.

She was right. But shush!

“Screw you!”

“George does, that’s why we have Harry in the first place,” she sassed you. “But… sis? What kind of a gift it is then?”

And wasn’t that the question.

“I… I don’t know.”

“Well, you should, because from what you told me, you guys aren’t even friends. Nota bene, this isn’t exactly a gift you give to a friend,” she pointed out, addressing one of the million issues concerning the damn (gorgeous) bracelet.

“I-- I guess?” You were sure, in fact. This was something to give to a… well, to a lover, to a partner. “But- Amber, he doesn’t--- that’s not-“

“What did the note say?”

“Huh?”

“You said you recognized his handwriting,” she reminded you slowly as if speaking to a five-year-old. “What does the note say?”

You glanced at the note again noncommittally, remembering exactly what it said. Pretty much nothing. Definitely nothing to go on.

“Uhm… Thank you. Happy Holidays.”

There was a beat of silence, again. “That’s it?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Eloquent.” You rolled your eyes at her sarcastic tone. She should see him at court. True though, on personal level, he wasn’t exactly chatty. Unless he opened up a bit over a glass of whiskey--- anyway, she had a point, obviously. “What are you gonna do?”

That snapped you from your musing like a shot of life into your bloodstream.

“That’s why I’m calling! I should-- I should get him something too, right?” Right?! Absolutely. “Oh god, I hate last-minute shopping. And I don’t even have a fucking clue what to buy! Well, a good whiskey is always a safe bet I guess, but supporting his drinking habits doesn’t sound like a good idea. Plus, it’s kinda… impersonal with comparison to what he gave me.”

Though if there was one thing you learned about Andy Barber, it was that he could appreciate the high-quality liquor, so perhaps it wouldn’t have been as impersonal as one might think.

“Well, I don’t know him so I can’t really help, but what you got from him should definitely give you a clue.”

“A clue?” you parroted, confused.

“I don’t mean like a clue for what you should buy him. But… look, even if you didn’t suspect that it’s custom-made, which whoa, he has to pay a lot of attention to buy you something like this. Much more attention than you thought.”

“…okay?”

“He likes you, you dumbass! It doesn’t matter what you get him, he’ll be happy you got him anything in the first place!”

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” you deadpanned, unsure which statement you were referring to. That he liked you or that you shouldn’t take care to choose something that would really bring him at least a little joy.

You tried your best to ignore how your heart skipped the beat at the former.

“Whatever. Harry’s throwing a hungry eye on me, I gotta go fix him a snack unless I want him to eat all the candy again. Good luck!”

“Amber!“ you called out in honest despair, panic rising in your chest, only to get no answer.

You pulled the phone from your ear to look at the screen, already knowing what awaited you.

Disconnected.

Fuck.

It seemed you were on your own. Wasn’t that wonderful?

You shot your sister a simple ‘I hate you’ text, the gears in your head already turning frantically in order to figure out what you could get Andy.

Amber replied with a set of laughing emojis within seconds. Bitch, leaving you alone to deal with a situation like this! What a sister she was.

You sighed, admiring the delicate lines of the bracelet again, torn between indulgence and guilt. There was no questioning whether you should buy Andy something too.

Say yay for the last-minute shopping for a man out of your league and whom you had no idea what you should get.

You were utterly at loss, growing anxious not only about the difficult choice of a gift, but also about possible delivery, wondering what should you even tell him and when.

Maybe though…. just maybe, you were getting kinda excited about what you were about to do too.

✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧

Three hours.

You spent almost three hours at the mall where you could barely breathe because of the crazy crowds and yet you were none the wiser; your excitement left you quickly, once again replaced by despair. It took you three hours and passing the lingerie shop four times, a shop with pieces on display that barely covered anything, intended for either bedroom games or a swimming pool, before it finally hit you.

You cursed under your breath, calling yourself an idiot in murmur loud enough to have few people around you look at you in surprise.

“Dumbass, I’m such a dumbass,” you continued your monologue as you fished out your phone, quickly scrolling through your contacts.

To say that the person on the other end was shocked to hear from you at this time of month and hour was an understatement.

“Yeah, I’m sorry, Lee. I have… eh, a favour to ask…”

✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧

You were being ridiculous.

Absolutely and utterly ridiculous as you stood on a modest porch in front of a small family house, the roof hiding you from the intrusive drizzle but not keeping you quite safe from the wind as you clutched your handbag to your side as if it was your lifeline, cursing yourself for not wearing a scarf in December.

Your nose was practically freezing, your cheeks burned from the wind and your hands were cold too, because you were stupidly underdressed; as if you haven’t lived in Portland your whole life.

But that wasn’t the main issue; an Uber dropped you off about five minutes ago and still, here you were, standing outside and trying to convince yourself to ring the bell.

The plan had been to finish packing a bag and leave around 10 p.m. to your sister’s house, where you would spend the night so you could be with her family on Christmas Day from the very beginning. But then Andrew fucking Barber, your fabulous boss, left a gift in your office, a breath-taking bracelet now sitting low on your right wrist, and it all went to hell.

Maybe you could still make it to your sister’s house – it was shortly after nine, your bag waiting on your bed, so maybe you should just call another Uber and be on your way. Maybe you could leave the silly envelope in the post-box just so you wouldn’t have to deal with Andy’s reaction; after all, he had chosen the same approach; cookies be damned, there would be more left for Harry then-

But you really, really wanted to thank him. And you might be shitting your pants, but the prospect of seeing him in a domestic environment, possibly more relaxed, perhaps nearing the man you had had the honour to see on those nights… you couldn’t make yourself to pass on that opportunity.

At the same time, you kept reminding yourself that Andy did not expect to see you tonight, he might not even be home – you were pretty sure a dim light was coming from the living room, the TV on probably, but yeah, you could keep lying to yourself – and that he might be grieving and genuinely might hate you for invading his privacy since you had to search his home address in the official documents.

Yeah, you definitely should just spin on your heels and-

“Oh for God’s sake,” you muttered under your breath and pressed the doorbell, your heart suddenly hammering in your ribcage as you realized there were no takebacks now. “Shit.”

Maybe you should just run. What if he had fallen asleep already and you just woke him up?! Oh, he was so going to be pissed and he might even show that emotion, screaming you down like he did one with that intern-

A scruffle on the other side of the door snapped you from your hopeless expectations and you sucked in a horrified breath.

And then the door slid open before you could react and you were certain you looked like a deer caught in the headlights, a semi-frozen deer to make the situation worse and--- there he was.

You quickly dropped your gaze, only then realizing how rude that was and that you should meet his eye no matter how much you did and did not want to do so at the same time. As you gaze travelled up, you found that a domestic Andy was everything you imagined he would be; black socks, loose dark grey sweats, pale t-shirt slightly wrinkled. One of his arms hung loosely by his side, the other still at the door-knob as you continued your inspection, gaze caressing the line of his bare forearm, reaching the sleeves that were hugging his biceps precisely. Broad shoulders, perfectly trimmed beard framing plush lips with the slightest hint of a curious smile.

You smiled awkwardly as your eyes met his watching you with interest, dimmed with a hint of a doze-off you must have woken him up from. You tried not to dwell on the inconspicuous redness surrounding his irises.

“I’m sorry if I woke you up!” you blurted out quickly, rewarded with a light shake of his head and a stifled yawn; subtle.

“You didn’t. Hi,” he greeted you, only to make you realize that 1. you forgot to say hi and 2. his post-nap voice was a thing from wet dreams-- which was definitely not relevant at that moment.

“Hi,” you offered unsurely, eyes roaming his face, searching for any trace of anger. All you found was bewilderment; if pleasant or not, you couldn’t tell.

“I’m sorry for barging in. I just… uhm- I wanted to thank you and-“

The hint of a smile on his lips grew a fraction, expression softening at your admission and before you could find your footing, he opened the door further, subtly extending his hand to usher you in.

Your heart skipped a beat, the strangest feeling tickling your gut, teeth sinking into your lower lip, the grip on your handbag growing stronger. Yet you accepted, taking two reluctant steps inside. The door clicked shut behind you, sealing whatever fate awaited you.

Attempting not to look too nosy, you turned back to Andy rather than scanning the hall.

Words got stuck in your throat. As tired as he looked, worn to a bone by everything but physical exercise, you couldn’t but marvel at what a handsome man he was, even without his smart suits and ties and neatly styled fluffy hair; it was still very fluffy, just more of a mess than a fashion statement.

God, wasn’t he beautiful.

He kept looking at you too in mute anticipation of something, appearing mildly lost just as you were, giving the impression of a man who couldn’t tell what to expect.

Your gaze locked with his, unyielding, a gorgeous trap and you knew you had to say or do something before your heart gave out entirely.

Your mouth opened, no words coming out and you cursed yourself, simply opening the bag and pulling out a Tupperware box with half the cookies you baked last night, practically shoving it to Andy’s capable hands.

He accepted the item with eyebrows shooting up once before settling back, eyes misting for a moment. His fingertips brushed yours as he took a firm hold of the box, the not-quite-there smile of his remaining on his lips.

He seemed perplexed.

You felt like an idiot.

“This feels so silly now,” you admitted with a sigh, realizing the absurdity of the situation only accented by the fact that you stood there in the hall of his home in your coat and high-boots, ridiculously overdressed in comparison to him.

“It’s not,” he whispered finally, forcing the corners of his mouth to rise higher. “Thank you. Didn’t know you baked. Should have figured.”

You shrugged. “Never came up.”

Something shifted in his expression as did in the air; you knew he sensed it too. The unspoken hung between you, that you meant not in your daily routine at the office, but on your private nights, so rare and precious, so desperately pretended to be non-existent the next morning.

Your gaze lowered as the silence fell on your pair again and you awkwardly shifted your weight from one leg to the other. His Adam’s apple bobbed.

“So, uh-“

“Thank you for the bracelet. Really. It was-” you licked your lips, meeting his eyes again, so deep, so blue and somehow soft and you forgot what you were about to say. “Eh- I wasn’t expecting it. I-- I didn’t think you’d… notice. And--- care.”

His brows furrowed for a bit and he placed the box on the shoe rack next to him; an action he soon regretted you guessed, because his fingers went for his wrist as if he wanted to readjust his cufflinks, a nervous habit of his, only to meet bare skin. Good to know you weren’t the only one iffy in this conversation.

“But you liked it?” he asked almost shyly and the corners of your lips rose on instinct as did you right hand, the sleeve of your coat sliding down a fraction, enough to reveal the new accessory. “Looks pretty on you.”

Your breath hitched as his fingers gently slid over one of the symbols, brushing over the sensitive skin of your wrist. His gaze returned to yours, a flicker of something heated in his eyes, calling butterflies to your stomach.

Lord have mercy.

“Thanks- uhm--- thank you. Here, I got you something too.” You quickly reached into the handbag again to hide how flustered you felt – for a different reason than awkwardness.

He had touched your wrist and you turned into a blushing mess. Fabulous. And to make the matter more humiliating, now a twinkle of amusement played in his irises.

“You gave me a plant. And cookies.”

“Yeah. Kinda? But that was more of a… gesture?” you offered reluctantly as you handed him the envelope. “I uh—this is probably stupid, but, uhm--- here.”

“Stop putting yourself down,” he muttered darkly, causing your cheeks to burn hotter. “Thank you. You didn’t have to get me anything.” Pulling out the firm colourful paper, he blinked a few times, seemingly surprised. Ha, you bet he expected a Walmart card! Instead, there was a voucher for five entrances to the swimming pool where your friend Lee worked at. “Oh. Thank you. That’s really nice of you.”

A stone the size of Texas fell from your stomach and you couldn’t help the sigh of relief. Andy seemed genuinely pleased by your choice of gift and you felt your whole body relax.

“It’s just… eh, just for half an hour each and you can pick them on a horizon of three months. I’m not sure how often you like going, so… uhm, my friend works at the place, so you just give her a call and it shouldn’t be a problem to book it for mornings right before the opening hours,” you explained lamely, earning a puzzled look.

“How did you know I liked going when no one’s there?”

That caused one corner of your lips twitch in slight amusement and your eyebrow arch, even if his reasons weren’t exactly funny; his cheeks flushed a hint of red, a sight to behold for more than one reason. It was nice to have the roles reserved, you making him feel flustered for once.

Really? The rather quiet lone-wolf Andy Barber, followed by reporters still, just asked you this? Cute.

“…that’s fair,” he said and for a brief second, you were afraid you had shared your thoughts out loud. But he didn’t look offended, so probably not. The self-awareness then. “Thank you.”

“No problem. I’m-eh, glad you like it.”

You stood there again, both smiling – a little reluctantly, a little soft – and once again you had no idea how to proceed.

What you did know was that you enjoyed talking to him, even if it was awkward like this. You enjoyed seeing him in his natural habitat, in his home, relatively relaxed. You thrived seeing more of this Andy Barber, just a handsome guy, not Andrew Barber, the hot-shot lawyer.

He was the first to break the silence, hesitantly gesturing further into the house.

“Would you—would you like to-“

YES! was what you brain screamed.

“Oh, I don’t want to be a bother…” was what you told him, mentally cuffing yourself on the head.

“You’re not,” Andy opposed lowly. The whisper of your name that followed made you shiver.

His gazed trailed all over your face, so intense you would swear he saw right into your soul and further. You felt naked, but for some reason not too vulnerable – Andy seemed to like what he saw, expression genuinely inviting and yet. Yet there was a subtle promise of this not being a friendly invite which was as exciting as unsettling. The air appeared the crackle and you found yourself yearning to taste the electricity on your tongue.

“May I?”

He beckoned to your coat, suddenly free hands already rising and all you could do was to nod, automatically placing your handbag on the floor and unbuttoning the garment. Once if fell open, revealing simple black jeggings and a light pink sweater, Andy sidestepped you, fingers sliding under the hem, cautiously skimming over the bare skin above your collarbones, leaving a burning sensation in their wake.

The warmth of his fingertips seeped into your flesh and yet you shuddered, goosebumps rising on your skin.

You watched Andy put your coat away with care, turning back to you torturously slowly. He filled all of your personal space, so close and too far. You weren’t sure when exactly the air turned so heavy in your lungs, but as your gaze travelled to his lips, not missing how his sought yours in return, you felt all the oxygen leave the room.

“Andy,” the word rolled off your tongue, nothing but a soundless breath of his name.

His gaze flickered from your eyes to your lips again and back before he spoke, voice barely above a whisper, hoarse.

“Am I imagining it?”

He didn’t have to say what and still you knew with absolute certainty that he was addressing the unbearable and delicious tension, the one that had been building and coming to life during those three nights you had spent talking in his office late--- and now it was back with smouldering intensity.

“You’re not.”

You shivered and gulped when he cautiously took a single little step further into your space, your gaze falling to his chest, lowering in sudden surge of the deep-rotted insecurity, whispering about your and his world being thousands of miles apart. And yet, your heart raced in anticipation, your hopes dizzyingly high that you might touch heaven, even if for a few moments.

When his fingertips grasped your jaw, tough light and oh so careful, your eyelids fluttered close, already indulging in the sensation. God, his touch was so soft despite the roughness of his fingertips…

As if he wished to torture you or to indulge that sweet little moment before lips met lips, he stopped an inch from his destination, his breaths as wavering as yours, the words whispered straight into your mouth just a little broken.

“I’m fucked up.”

Your brain basked in blissful fog, but this got across, causing you to tense briefly.

You couldn’t deny what he was saying, you both knew he spoke the ultimate truth – well, you guessed. What had happened to him, having his life dismantled and then losing his family, that sort of thing was bound to leave a scar. Confirming it bluntly though, that felt unforgiving, only adding insult to injury.

“We all are,” you whispered instead, not only because you wouldn’t say ‘fucked up’, the words too harsh.

And it wasn’t trivializing the tragic turn his life had taken. It wasn’t downplaying the depth of his wounds. It wasn’t necessarily implying that you had been through something equally horrible either. Most importantly, it wasn’t you mocking him.

And somehow, he understood that; even if he could have interpreted it in every wrong way imaginable and shove you away, insulted, disgusted.

But no, in that fleeting moment that meant everything, Andy understood that this was your acceptance; this was you telling him that you were willing to try; take whatever he offered and give anything you could in return.

Finally, his lips brushed over yours, slightly chapped and oh so warm and delicious, withdrawing too soon, leaving you to savour the taste as your ran your tongue over your own lips. You inhaled shakily, overwhelmed by everything that was him, powerful, electrifying and then your hand was somehow on his chest, your palm laid over his racing heart, your fingers twitching as his ribcage expanded with a sharp inhale.

Blindly, your mouth searched his again, his whiskers tickling softly and scratching at once, a pleasant sensation on your sensitive skin as he grew bolder, and truly attached your lips in a kiss that made you feel lightheaded with the emotion poured into it. Your hand curled around his nape, an instinct to pull him closer, fingers toying with the short soft hair there, drawing a hum from within the expanse of his chest.

You granted him access to your mouth when he wordlessly asked, but it was him who retreated shortly after that, his heart now appearing as if in pain with its furious beats under your palm. His breaths started coming out short and it dawned to you what was wrong. How fast this could have felt to him, even if he was the one to start it.

‘I’m fucked up,’ he had said. Too caught in the moment, you hadn’t fully realized the extent of his words perhaps.

But you did now – at least a little better than before.

So when he rested his forehead against yours and a breathless ‘sorry’ slipped from his lips, you shook your head lightly and planted a kiss on his cheek, hand still on the back of his head, fingers running over his scalp in a hopefully soothing motion.

“I’ve got you, Andy. You lead.”

You had no strength to keep him close when he pulled his face away, your eyes snapping open in fright that you had said something terribly wrong.

But Andy’s cerulean eyes were big and glassy, grateful and softly speaking about him being… moved by your proposition. Your heart felt like it just grew twice its size, too big to fit into your chest at what a breath-taking picture he was.

The next thing you knew, he dropped a chaste kiss to your forehead and pulled you into his arms, an almost protective embrace, kissing the top of your head for a good measure and you melted against his large frame, smiling into t-shirt.

“Thank you,” he murmured breathlessly into your hair and your smile widened, remembering the note he had left with the exquisite gift that had started everything that led you right here into this moment.

“Happy Holidays.”

Thank you for reading! I’ve been sitting on this since the beginning of damn November. I hope you enjoyed.

It was my first (and maybe last) time writing Andy, so I hope it was alright. Feedback always appreciated.

P.S. – sorry if the nosy reporters thing offended you.

P.P.S. - …I know, the prompt was veeery loosely filled. Shush.

Pretty divider by whismicalrogers.

#happyhoelidays2020 #andy barber x reader #andy barber imagine #andy barber x you #defending jacob #post defending jacob #andy barber #holiday fic #christmas fic #andy barber fluff #andy barber angst #andy barber fanfiction #andy barber fanfic #fanfiction #challenge fic #conundrum #anika ann

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biglittlesshop · 4 years ago

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Great Dane 5 Things You Should Know About This Woman Dog Mom She Loves Dogs More Than Human Tee Shirts

I didn’t know anything about this brand when I first bought it it was a Great Dane 5 Things You Should Know About This Woman Dog Mom She Loves Dogs More Than Human Tee Shirts good price and I needed some things so since I was there I picked a few stuff amazingly I really like the products the eye liner does wonders I love it. In response to last week s tatoosday post we got so many tattoos from last unicorn fans around the world that it will take months to showcase all of them to help make things go slightly faster than that and because it s neat to compare and contrast we re going to make today a two tattoosday post take a look at these very different approaches to showing the human and unicorn versions of peter s classic character in one image ashley knight schroeder s tattoo is beautifully stylized I just got this done on saturday the last unicorn has touched my life and helped me through many a rough patch even my sons will watch with me and sing talk along to the movie rippy s tattoos did the work I have no idea who did the original design I saw it and feel in love would love to find the original artist brittni lynn martin and her artist phil meyers from california opted for classic heartfelt look this movie has been my favorite since I was little and is now my favorite book and I have a 3 year old daughter who also loves it and we watch it together so it’s been a huge part of my life so beautiful both of these. The only way to protect your body from these dangerous toxins and reverse the damage that has been done is to use a natural nutritious cleansing program one that will give you exactly what your body needs to flush out all of the toxins that shouldn t be there and boost your metabolism at the same time an easy 3 day program with a complete shopping list and simple recipes that you can make from home without punishing depriving or starving your body start now 3 day cleanse with danette may detox program detox beauty diet fashion cleanse smoothie

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Great to have time to visit anton’s retrospective at bucerius kunst forum hamburg until january see you tomorrow night larr the Great Dane 5 Things You Should Know About This Woman Dog Mom She Loves Dogs More Than Human Tee Shirts no edge adam u2 u2eitour antoncorbijn. Diane kendal for nars cosmetics thakoon really wanted girls to look healthy and very american this beauty look is inspired by the 80’s super models cindy claudia linda and christie found in peter lindbergh’s photography skin is gorgeous makeup is fresh and beautifully groomed face concealer sheer glow foundation cheeks deep throat blush eyes last frontier velvet eyeliner smudge across eyes and lower lashline goddess velvet shadow stick audacious mascara brows matte eyeshadow shades blondie bali bengali coconut grove brow gel lips sex machine velvet matte lip pencil. Yesterday was a busy day of meetings and airplane travel for peter and connor but last night peter took some time to share his thoughts on the passing of the great christopher lee christopher lee was the tallest actor I ever knew he was also by far the most literate when we first met in a los angeles studio where he was recording his lines as king haggard in the last unicorn he had just recorded haggard’s speech about his first sight of unicorns and I mentioned that it was probably my favorite speech in the book he immediately wanted to know well did I do it properly we can always redo it right here of course he’d handled the lines perfectly but writers and writers’ opinions about their work mattered intensely to christopher that same afternoon we discovered that between the two of us we we could call to mind just about all the lines of g k chesterton’s poem the rolling english road we also discovered a mutual need to hit the men’s room and my son dan in his mid teens at the time still has a very clear memory of christopher simultaneously peeing while declaiming in that voice which no one could ever keep from imitating after fifteen minutes with him before the roman came to rye or out to severn strode the rolling english drunkard made the rolling english road a reeling road a rolling road that rambled round the shire and after him the parson ran the sexton and the squire I leave it to the reader to imagine that voice in the tiled acoustics of a hollywood bathroom we met a second time in munich where the last unicorn was being dubbed into german most of my memories of that time and of chris lee have to do with books and authors he had known both j r r tolkien and a writer who mattered more to me t h white we had a long ongoing argument in munich about a chapter of the sword in the stone that appears in the english edition of the book but not in the american one he turned out to be right he usually was he never failed to mention the last unicorn as one of his very favorite books and as one of the movies he was most proud of having made indeed he left my whopperjawed as mark twain would have put it when we were being interviewed together on austrian television and he announced oh yes I simply couldn’t resist a chance to play king haggard one more time even in another language after all and he looked straight into the camera it’s the closest they’ll ever let me get to playing king lear the camera swung toward me to catch my stunned reaction and chris looked across the studio at me and winked but my most vivid memory chilling as it remains to this day has to do with the day that I and michael chase walker associate producer of the last unicorn and the one who really got the film made in the first place somehow found our way out to dachau I can’t now recall how we managed it considering that neither one of us spoke german and that you had to take both a subway and a bus to get there from the hotel where the crew were staying but we got there somehow and spent a good half of the day roaming with other tourists around a legendary concentration camp peering blindly into the huge crematoriums but staring with equal horror and fascination at the endless rows of filing cabinets containing every record of every human being who was ever imprisoned starved gassed or simply worked to death in this place michael and I grew quieter and quieter that afternoon until by the time we started back to munich we weren’t speaking at all I think we both felt that we might say anything in words again the first person we met in the hotel lobby was christopher he took one look at us and announced you’ve been to dachau we nodded without answering chris strode toward us looked all the way down from his six foot five inch altitude lowered his voice and inquired still smells doesn’t it with the end of world war ii christopher as a member of the special forces and whose five or six languages included fluent german had been assigned to hunt down and interrogate nazi war crminals and had been present at the liberation of dachau and yes the smell of death had undoubtedly faded somewhat since 1945 but it was still as real as michael and me wandering dazedly between the ovens and the filing system we just didn’t know what it was but christopher did and i’d know it again I never saw him again after munich though we spoke on the telephone a few times on the last occasion when I had called to wish him a happy 90th birthday I remember him assuring me that if by the time you come to make your live action version of your movie I have passed on do not let it concern you I have risen from the dead several times I know how it’s done he worked almost to the last as the real artists of every kind do they work to be working because that’s what they do and they die when they stop I always regarded him as the last of the great 19th century actors that bravura larger than life style went with him no modern rada trained performer would ever attempt it today nor should they it would inevitably come out parody however earnestly meant yet there was always more to christopher lee as an actor than dracula or the mummy or saruman or sherlock holmes for that matter though he was very proud of having played not only both holmes and watson but sherlock’s brother mycroft as well lord summerisle of the original the wicker man probably his favorite of his own movies is most likely closer to chris’s dark benignity than any other role he ever inhabited I believe this because lord summerisle sings a surprising amount in that movie and chris passionately loved singing if there is any such thing as an afterlife or reincarnation I truly hope no believe that christopher lee will return as a wagnerian opera singer if he hadn’t been considered too old in his 30s to be accepted for formal vocal training he might have been in his own eyes at least a happier more fulfilled man but we would have been deeply poorer for it and never have known See Other related 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#Great #Dane #5 #Things #You #Should #Know #About #This #Woman

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deviationdivine · 6 years ago

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Everlasting You | Connor x Reader

TLDR: Not everything lasts forever not even for an unending machine...

Word Count: 1.6k

TW: Heavy Angst, Mention of Death, Character Death

A/N:This is something I needed to get off my chest as certain feelings on humans and androids in relationships go. While I feel Connor himself is not immortal in the full sense he does not age. He may wear down as technology is known to do but the mortality of humans is clear. Probably the most angsty piece I have written thus far and I am supposed to be on break. My personal torture is real...| 200 follower Celebration Drop Still To Come

Touch. Everlasting touch: synth, tangible. This is how he shows his love.

Liquid, thirium is azure in bloom. This is how an angel dies.

Abstract in palette you swirl in his aura, so tangled and true this love drips from pert lips cool. Oh but so new they crave. Tender flesh bodily and warm collides with liquid, simulated but shed as you desire. See him as he is in his spurious state of being. Oh but he is alive, a different breed, a facsimile. Skim the surface and reach out to heaven, rich in chocolate of his adoring gaze.

Fire burns beneath cool, fingers ghosting upon the sweet flesh of you. No matter how frigid his skin may be still you incinerate under his thrall.

Meeting, becoming, one as moon and stars; Connor is yours. You are his.

Two heavenly bodies harmonize. He worships, the very air that is clinging to you and he wishes with every thread inside to be that air. Yet he is unworthy. In the end Connor knows how wrong he was to feel. If he could turn back time, no matter how agonizing to his deviant heart, he would never tell you. As long as it meant you live as you should.

Why must humans wither? Why must he suffer this?

Maybe he should cry for help.

“I died once, Y/N.”

The android’s breath is so soft, so fluid at first you think he might be dreaming. If androids can dream in that sense of subconscious domain, flutters within abstract functionality of the brain. His state of visionary quest is made up of code, memory data bank transforming into new visuals. He once suffered a nightmare about the Zen garden. It was not long after the first time you shared this bed together.

Breath is still as you gaze at his face. Flashing scarlet floods the beautiful azure that always draws you nearer. Into his shelter, this glorious shield all for you; tracing a fingertip around circular indicator steadies his stressful aura.

“Connor,” his name eclipses the sun. Sweet, full and forever on your breath it brings him home.

“I still recall,” he continues, tilting his face towards the delicate palm of hand. One that always offers affection, love most androids never knew existed for them. Even as a prototype, made to be special he only ever felt worth held by you.

“I recall the flutter of wind. Sailing, falling down listless as a sinker in the ocean. My memory was fresh then, new but uploaded to this body. This one that you have loved since our meeting.”

#313-248-317-52

Serials no longer mark him but he is Connor Mark II forever feeling, reliving a weightless drop. Felled from stories on high, slipping, slipping down until blackness; he is still wary of heights.

“I was still a machine then. Now as a deviant…death will truly claim me.” Even as Connor struggles there is nothing more real than what alights each destiny. This fated love will subsist infinitely.

Lips press against crimson, kissing the very android part of him. Accepting his veneer beneath the mask is easy when it is he himself you cherish. Love means never having to be alone. It means everlasting, impenetrable fortress shielding hearts as one.

“Nothing will ever take you away from me, Connor.”

He melts into the declaration. It is more. It is an oath. You believe it so much and Connor begins to realize those very words are a painful truth.

“I will love you forever, Y/N.”

He blames it on himself. This love will surely kill you. Stealing away everything you deserve: growing old together, having children…

You tell him no. No, this is what you want. This is all that you will want. No other thing in your personal world because he is yours ever since he confessed. Who are you to kid the world, lie to those heavens above? He was yours the moment your eyes met. Chocolate warmth a home, sweet home and contented abode for two.

First snowfall following revolution is a blissful, high priority memory. Stored away in his mind to examine, utilize as an escape from reality. You are his realism.

Flurries swirling, soft white powder crunching beneath soles. There you wait bundled up but still Connor feels the need to warm you. Enveloping in his arms, an eternal embrace that must live on until there is nothing left. Existence is a fixed point. Yours is meant for more but the android formerly sent by Cyberlife, the android who chose deviancy, to be alive, is selfish as any human. Selfishness tangles your human orbit to him.

Others may see you as a tiny satellite in a vast universe. To him you are more expansive than thousands of galaxies, rivaling any celestial heaven that may exist.

“Connor, where were you?” Demanding an answer it’s easy to see how upset and angry. It spills in fury overtaking any tears initially. For him to disappear this way! “Why did you just leave like that? Without telling anyone? I-I thought you…”

A soft breath answers his delicate touch against your cheek. Connor’s eyes brim in emotion, LED crimson spotlight, swiping tears off your face. “I needed to be alone,” he confesses. “To realize, Y/N.”

“Realize?” You repeat quiet in a fog of cold air.

“I love you.”

There is no sound. There is no world. Only this one shared between two. His declaration is fearful, conflicted perhaps but oh so true. Tears run anew. Streaming down your face, flooding this beating heart thudding only for one: Connor, the android sent by Cyberlife.

“Connor, I love you too.”

Slips of breath mingle in a fissure of atoms, natural and artificial, more than a kiss but a fusion of two souls. He owns the most beautiful of all. Whether he believes he possesses one or not, you believe. So much you believed and the rest of your life you gladly spend. All for that precious android, that man who loved.

And he loved you. He loved you until the stars faded away from the sky. As you fade with them, growing ever increasingly distant from his immortal coil. Yet he still yearned, still held, and still caressed you as those days when you first became lovers.

Nothing held him at bay from this burning inside a synthetic heart. This heart he gave to you and still you own it. Even as breaths slip away, Connor remains yours to this day.

Is there a heaven for androids? He ponders more each day.

Can he see you as he once did before? That young, beauty so soft, innocent and opposite of him: cold, emotionless, and constructed.

It was you that fed life through artificial veins. Wires, tendrils reaching beyond programming, reaching out in a song as you were his angelic soprano. Words of love he had never known. Until you he was merely a tool. To be used, controlled and torn asunder from deviancy he so chose. He did not flounder. He thrived. He lived.

He lived for you.

Now his life is broken, battered remnants long from those days when it was just the two of you together.

Maybe he should kill himself.

Tomorrow is too long. Nights are too empty. What must he do to see your face again? Why must he suffer for being made instead of born? All the android wants is for you to be alive once more. In his arms, whisper in his ear, giving him all of your love that he never deserved.

He stole you from it all. He stole your human life. All for selfish emotion in this disease of deviancy he wants to rip out from his system.

Deviancy is nothing anymore. Deviancy is a curse. He did not know he could cry until the day you drew your last breath. Streaming, grotesque down perfectly smooth, untainted, unwrinkled skin as you died a shell of your once vibrant self.

Connor seeks redemption in what he has done. What he took away from you. No life should have been lived beside him if he could not live beside you.

“Y/N, please…”

Tears run the sharp slopes of his face finding that spot originally of confession. No longer covered in snow but he sits alone, a mournful statue he sinks deeper into bench seat. Stress levels are too much. He wills them. He wants them…

Shutdown Imminent

“Forgive me,” Connor pleads with your essence. Seeing you alive in traces of fragmented memories, long before Sumo first passed, long before Hank; the android clings to your smile.

“I’m here, Connor.” The promise is sweeter than he remembers.

He leans into the touch of your hand. Gentle fingers mold with the harsh edges of his face that should have aged with you.

“I love you,” the android whispers, blind to shutdown warnings but never blind to you. Welcoming this true death, rising from seat in his mind, he can feel you. Solid as he places hands to the waist he would always long to grab playfully, tasting the lips he wills to be part of his system.

You are part of everything. This is your secret place. In his death from deviancy, wiping away everything he fought to become, dying most blissfully in your real embrace.

Snow falls then. Around your figures, wisps of constructed memories together in your own private Zen garden. Kissing you full, passionate and reclaiming those vows spoken so long ago.

Once again there is a smile upon his lips reunited with you in this blessed after life. Reunited as his constructed body is left behind, died from a broken heart, one that many humans might find miraculous in something not alive.

This-this is heaven after all. Androids really do find their way in. Connor found his way back to you in this glorious sail beyond the veil.

Sail with me into the dark….

Sail…

Tag List: @tropfenlady @your-taxidermy @elydith @connorswink @tommy-10-k

#connor x reader #dbh connor x reader #rk800 x reader #dbh rk800 x reader #connor rk800 x reader #dbh connor rk800 x reader #dbh drabble #detroit become human #connor rk800 drabble #songfic inspo #angst #heavy angst #rk800 #mini fic #i like the pain apparently #my queue is not merciful #i need a heavy dose of fluff after this #please

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cliffgrove · 5 years ago

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Hello All! A pretentious tradition - huzzah! - my annual "Best Of" lists!!! Hopefully, you will use these lists as a way to discover new artists or authors - that's the main point. I rank because it's interesting to try and think through why I like certain songs, albums, books and shows more than others; not because I'm claiming that these are the BEST OF THE YEAR! and there is no argument about it. (I'm well aware that it's nearly impossible to accurately rank artists when they are all so different for so many reasons.) The photos above are my favorites that I've posted throughout the year; they are favorites for wildly different, personal reasons so I thought I'd compile them together to form an accurate version of my artistic endeavors. Also, it was a particularly insane year of books for me; the top 10 could easily up for my favorite of the year and the top 5 are some of the best books that I’ve ever read. As always, thank you for reading, and thank you for taking the time.

BEST OF 2019

Best Songs of the Year (Spotify Playlist Link Here)

50. Shana Cleveland - Face of the Sun

49. Bill Callahan - Angela

48. Majjin Boo - Mom's Marines

47. Great Grandpa - Mono no Aware

46. Tim Heidecker - Illegal

45. Sampa The Great - Final Form

44. Bad Books - I Love You, I'm Sorry, Please Help Me, Thank You

43. Mannequin Pussy - F.U.C.A.W.

42. Boy Scouts - Get Well Soon

41. Fontaines D.C. - Hurricane Laughter

40. Deerhunter - What Happens To People?

39. Oso Oso .- Priority Change

38. Helado Negro - Fantasma Vaga

37. Sampa The Great - OMG

36. (Sandy) Alex G - Southern Sky

35. Carly Rae Jepsen - Too Much

34. Bill Callahan - Writing

33. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - Bright Horses

32. Fontaines D.C. - Sha Sha Sha

31. Better Oblivion Community Center - Service Road

30. Vampire Weekend - Jerusalem, New York, Berlin

29. Big Thief - Forgotten Eyes

28. The Tallest Man on Earth - I'm A Stranger Now

27. DIIV - Skin Game

26. PUP - See You At Your Funeral

25. Pile - On A Bigger Screen

24. Charly Bliss - Chatroom

23. Bad Books - I Wrote It Down For You

22. Bon Iver - Naeem

21. Burna Boy - Anybody

20. Great Grandpa - Digger

19. Charly Bliss - Capacity

18. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - Waiting For You

17. Vampire Weekend - This Life

16. Purple Mountains - Snow If Falling In Manhattan

15. Pile - Firewood

14. DIIV - Blankenship

13. Purple Mountains - Margaritas at the Mall

12. Jenny Lewis - Red Bull and Hennessy

11. PUP - Scorpion Hill

10. Big Thief - Not

9. Vampire Weekend - Sunflower

8. Mannequin Pussy - Drunk II

7. Better Oblivion Community Center - Chesapeake

6. Sharon Van Etten - Comeback Kid

5. Bon Iver - Hey, Ma

4. Carly Rae Jepsen - Happy Not Knowing

3. Corridor - Domino

2. PUP - Bloody Mary, Kate and Ashley

1. Sharon Van Etten - Seventeen

Albums of the Year

Honorable Mentions: Charly Bliss - Young Enough; Bill Callahan - Shepherd in a Sheepskin Vest; Sampa the Great - The Return

20. Helado Negro - This is How You Smile

19. Burna Boy - African Giant

18. Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - Ghosteen

17. Deerhunter - Why Hasn’t Everything Already Disappeared?

16. Fontaines D.C. - Dogrel

15. (Sandy) Alex G - House of Sugar

14. Great Grandpa - Four of Arrows

13. Tim Heidecker - What The Brokenhearted Do

12. Pile - Green and Gray

11. Better Oblivion Community Center - Better Oblivion Community Center

10. Corridor - Junior

9. DIIV - Deceiver

8. Mannequin Pussy - Patience

7. Carly Rae Jepsen - Dedicated

6. Bon Iver - i,i

5. Purple Mountains - Purple Mountains

4. Big Thief - Two Hands

3. Sharon Van Etten - Remind Me Tomorrow

2. Vampire Weekend - Father of the Bride

1. PUP - Morbid Stuff

Best Shows of the Year

15. Kurt Vile - The Fillmore

14. Chvrches - Greek Theatre

13. Hop Along - The Independent

12. Real Estate - The Chapel

11. Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever - Great American Music Hall

10. (Sandy) Alex G at Great American Music Hall

9. Pile - The New Parish

8. Adrienne Lenker and Luke Temple - Swedish American Music Hall

7. 1975 - Bill Graham Civic Center

6. Explosions in the Sky - The Fox Theatre

5. Sharon Van Etten - The Fillmore

4. Carly Rae Jepsen - Bill Graham Civic Center

3. Sleater-Kinney - The Fox Theatre

2. Corridor - Milk Bar

1. PUP - The Fillmore

Best Books of the Year

15. Upheaval by Jared Diamond

14. Deep Survival by Laurence Gonzales

13. A Song For The River by Phillip Connors

12. One More Thing by B.J. Novak

11. Young Men and Fire by Norman MacLean

10. The Siege of Mecca by Yarolsav Trofimov

9. The Rise and Fall of D.O.D.O. by Neal Stephenson

8. Down From The Mountain by Bryce Andrews

7. The Library Book by Susan Orlean

6. Legends of the Fall by Jim Harrison

5. Three Women by Lisa Taddeo

4. The Only Plane In The Sky by Garrett M. Graff

3. Into The Raging Sea by Rachel Spade

2. The Dreamt Land by Mark Arax

1. Say Nothing by Patrick Radden Keefe

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pistachiolan · 6 years ago

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Egos Mob AU: Additional List

Here is The MasterList that contains stuff that does not have much to do with the main storyline or was brought up in the asks: I. Frequently Asked Questions II. Headcanons III. Fanwork IV. Taglist (if you wanna be added ask me!)

AU Creators: @pistachiolan & @murder-schmurder

[ MAIN MASTERPOST CAN BE FOUND HERE ]

BOTH LISTS WILL BE CONSTANTLY UPDATED Last update: 03.05.2019

I. FAQ:

1. Will other egos/characters be in the story? - Right now we don’t plan on adding any other egos, be it Jack’s or Mark’s or anybody else’s. As for characters, they appear as we go.

2. What’s Marvin’s gender? - They are genderfluid, meaning their gender can change: male, female, both or neither. Usually, they don’t care what pronouns you address them [he/she/them] if they do feel like using a certain pronoun that day - they will politely ask for it.

3. What about time and place of the events? - Well, we didn’t want to limit ourselves to a certain country, but it’s a place in the northern hemisphere, with port, forest and river. The time is present or even slightly futuristic considering existence of BING, but some aesthetics can appear like from ’20 and ‘30.

4. Will Jack be in the story? - No. For the personal reason, we prefer not to include real people in this AU

5. Are there/Will there be any romantic or intimate relationships in the story? - As the story starts, Marvin, Anti and Jackie are in open poly-relationship, however, it’s not the main point of the story nor will be any romantic relationship. As for others... we will just have to see, no spoilers :)

6. Who is Jacques/Angus/Connor/Bing/Shawn? - Jacques is French artist who appeared in series like Passpartout - Angus comes from OLD series on Jack’s channel called: The Survival Hunter - Connor (The Announcer) is an ego whose voice appears in series like “Japan World Cup” or “Stories Untold”. Connor is a name I came up with - Bing (Bingsepticeye) is a fan character, that was created as Jack’s version of Mark’s Google (Before Mark’s Bing appeared) - Shawn Flynn is a character from BATIM, Jack did the voice for him in the game. (None of those characters has canon name /except for Shawn/ or design so all of them were designed by me.)

7. Are all artworks on your blog related to the Mob AU? - No, I do other stuff as well, this is my art blog, all Mob AU stuff will be tagged as #egos-mob-au

8. What confirmed non-ego characters are in the story so far? - Deceased, but mentioned in the story: Mr Brody (Chase’s father), Trent, Olivia and Marcus (Chase’s siblings), The Sisters (Crime Organisation that Anti previously worked for), Jackie’s mother - Alive: Mary (One of JJ’s spies), Sarah&Sam+Stacy (Chase’s kids and ex-wife), Diana (Jackie’s sister)

9. Where can I find the survey where I can choose my favourite character in Mob AU? :) [ RIGHT HERE ] [ Results so far ]

10. Are we gonna see how the non-ego characters look like? - Everything in due time :)

11. Can I write a story/draw something/make an edit/Share a theory or headcanon/etc based of off your Mob AU? - OF COURSE! Both I and @murder-schmurder absolutely love seeing what people can come up with, so please tag us so we can see it! :)

II. HEADCANONS

Chase: [His Rules] [Fun Fact] [Feeling of Betrayal] [”Day Job”] [Loyality] [How often Chase sees his kids] [How often Chase sees his kids 2.0] [Did death of Chase’s mother made him distance himself from his kids?] [Rough] [Sad Mob Boss Portrait] [Regrets] [How he changed] [What IF]

Henrik: [Fun Fact] [Joke a day keeps the sinus infection away]

Jackie: [Fun Fact] [Fighting Boyo] [Before joining the Family] [Smile champion] [Proof]

Marvin: [Fun Fact] [Marvin’s gender: here, here, here, here] [Other masks] [Highschool uniform]

Jameson: [Fun Fact] [Love for JJ] [How did he get into the Family] [Family Secrets]

Anti: [Fun Fact] [The real character sheet for Anti] [Anti’s disease?] [How did he become IT guy] [Anti’s jealousy] [Anti’s origin] [Stress-reliever] [Twitchy] [Jail?]

Jacques: [Fun Fact]

Angus: [Fun Fact]

Bing: [Fun Fact] [hugs for BING!] [Bing watching his Creator]

Shawn: [Fun Fact] [DEJA VU] [DEJA VU 2.0] [Drunk] [Soft Shawn]

Connor: [Fun Fact]

Sarah: [yay]

Other Characters: [Why didn’t Olivia take over?] [How did Mr Brody look like?] [Who are The Sisters] [Jackie’s sister] [What happened with Olivia?] [Actress Mary] [Jackie’s sister pt2]

Group HCs: [Inner Circle] [Scars] [Mr. Brody’s kids] [Is Marvin Chase’s brother?] [What happened to Mr Brody’s wives] [Muscle difference] [Rules 2.0] [How did AntiMarvelSepticeye happen R15 Ship] [ The Messiest Triad in The City R15 Ship] [Sad Henrik R15 Ship] [AntiMarvelSepticeye Dates R15 Ship] [The Sisters and Anti] [Chase and Stacy] [Anti vs Jackie- Who was more deader] [Boring Dinner R18 SHIP] [Marvin and Stacy view on SchneepleBro R15 Ship] [Fears] [Henrik and Stacy having lunch] [Inkwell/Shaques fluff SHIP]

Crack HCs: [Anti & Shawn in the car] [What happens with Marvin’s dresses] [Hugs] [Who is more likely to] [OUTDATED MEME] [COFFEE] [Mob AU Egos meet Regular Egos]

Eyebrows Saga: [Jacques] [Schneeplestein Brothers] [Wild Jackie appears] [JJ] [Jackie] [Marvin] [Henrik] [Anti] [Jackie+Marvin] [Bing] [Chase] [Angus] [Shawn] [EVERYBODY except Connor] ............ [Connor] [If you wanna witness nigtmare]

[Speedpaint of CoverArt]

III. FANWORK

So I wanted to showcase some awesome works that people made based on this AU! Thank you so much for all of you, that’s incredibly flattering to see people getting inspired by something we created :)

Fanart:

[Henrik] by @hetalitale

[Chase] [Marvin] [Henrik] [Jackie] [Anti] [JJ] [AntiMarvelSepticeye R15 Ship] Moodboards by @alexisthedevilsfox

[JJ] [Marvin] by @sar-kasstic

[JJ] by @little-beetle-is-sad

[Chase] by @hellothisiss33dot

[Chase] by @deaths-presence

[BING] by @jackspeedickey

[Marvin] by @din0draws

[Marvin] by @alexisthedevilsfox

[AntiMarvelSepticeye: sketch & colored] by @dorkydinoart

[AntiMarvelSepticeye] by @eternalconcerto

[MobAU Boys] by @queenies-writing

[Chase] [AntiMarvel] @thespiterabbit

[JJ] by liza_animations

[Marvin] by scarlett_valotte

[Chase] by arrt_dude

FanFiction:

[Mob AU Inspired Story - The Garden: Part 1 ] by @squirrelestanon

[Mob AU Inspired Story: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3] by @little-beetle-is-sad

[Mob AU: Aunt Bea] by Oncewasmine

[the blood on your hands] & [silent] by @dead-inside-mcgee

Other:

[Schneeplebro & Inkwell/Shaques in Mob AU] by @alexisthedevilsfox

[mob au according to me and a bunch of poorly drawn stick figures] by @dead-inside-mcgee

[Shawn in action] delivered by @dorkydinoart

Incorrect quotes: [Henrik&Marvin] [Marvin] by @dorkydinoart

IV. TAGLIST:

@a-humble-narcissus @thesinginggal @kate807 @mihaela-tbg @isa-ghost @fleecal @alexisthedevilsfox @the-rampaige @epicseptic @snow-lavender @lythariwolf @hetalitale @blueoakstar @acidcatfreak @the-silent-screamer @apersonwholikesdragons @written-by-taylor @estaticplaywrite @glitchbicth @fairyblue-alchemist @nerdislovenerdislife @awkward-bullshit @littleluversblog @call-of-memories @mashabaranchik @sophiefrye22 @southerndragontamer @raven-clues @anqshusxx @tangl3d @metautske @a-septic-mind @din0draws @icouldhaveabettername @stuck-in-a-l-o-o-p @1esor2 @theblackphoebe @allons-ychey @celticmess @adarosewrites @sar-kasstic @chitaj @victory-cookies @admirethesky @thevampireauthoress @egowithoutstrings @enderoid @impossiblerebelblaze @novelistgeek @deaths-presence @eternalconcerto @anothermarkiplierfan @septicart-appreciation @thecatchat @strange-guardian @impossiblerebelblaze @hellothisiss33dot @my-analogical-romance

#Lan masterposts #egosmobau #mob au hc #mob au masterlist #mob au ante up #mob au fanfic #mob au fanart #mob au chase #mob au jackie #mob au henrik #mob au marvin #mob au jj #mob au anti #mob au bing #mob au angus #mob au shawn #mob au connor #mob au jacues

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c0nn0rb0t · 3 months ago

Note

He was relieved to hear Connor speak again, the poor android had been taking it rather hard these past few days. He moved his hand to rub at his son's back, adding a few gentle pats in for good measure. The android shared his same sentiment...if Connor was going to be like this for someone like Gavin...how was he going to handle his death? That thought had been weighing heavy on his mind since Gavin's death, and frankly it worried the crap out of him.

"I know it hurts son...believe me, I know." He paused, he could hear the whir of the androids fan kicking on, his hug tightening on the kid. "Look, that's not gonna happen...not if I got anything to say about it. You need to calm down, okay? You're gonna get too stressed out...and I can't have you self destructing on me" He lost one son already, he didn't want to lose another one to grief. "Just take as much time as you need to, to just cry and let it out." He wishes he could just tell Connor it'll get better, or get easier...but he would be lying to himself. He still never fully accepted Cole's death, and still struggles with it deep down. "Anything I can do to make you feel better son?"

The drive home from the funeral was eerily quiet, neither of them spoke ...hell he's sure Connor hasn't spoken hardly at all since the news of Gavin's death. Once they got home and got inside, he immediately pulled Connor in for a hug. "You doing okay, son?" He knew the android wasnt handling it well, and he wasn't even expecting him to answer. "You don't have to say anything if you don't feel like it. Just know I'm here, okay?"

Connor had kept quiet for the last week, barely a word spoken to anyone. His LED had been a constant red light ever since the news broke. He was struggling, trying to process his own grief. He was even still just now coming to terms with the reality and permanence of the situation. Humans couldn't be repaired like androids. They weren't like Connor who simply transferred himself to a new body when the old one was destroyed. He couldn't do that now though.

The LED finally turned yellow as Hank pulled him into the hug. "No..."

It was the first thing he's said to Hank in days. Connor hugs tight to the human, fingers knotted in the back of the man's uniform. "It hurts..."

"If... If this is how much it hurts... Losing another officer... What am I going to do if I lose you or Miles or Sumo?" Connor was already in tears as he spoke.

"I don't want to lose you too. I don't- I-" the android said, starting to get worked up. There was a soft whir as the fan of his external cooling system kicked in. His thoughts were already starting to spiral again as his stress level started to jump.

#tw death #tw death mention #tw grief #tw loss #connor-mark-ii #m: hank #dad mode activated

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justanultrastressedwriter · 6 years ago

Text

Aw Hell No - Ch II

Previous Next Masterlist

TW: Homophobia, Mentions of abuse, Swearing, Slight violence. Let me know if I should tag anything else.

----------------------------------------------

*~ Class Dismissed ~*

Connor waited for the locker room to empty except for him and the faggot. With no one around to witness Connor’s actions, it would just be Daniel’s word against his and no one was going to believe the outcast queer over the star quarterback.

To make it seem like he was still changing, Connor kept his shirt off and continued to rummage through his locker as if he were looking for something. Once the room was finally empty, Connor threw his shirt over his shoulder and walked over to the other boy.

Connor sneered with disgust at the faggot standing in front of him. He shoved Daniel’s chest against the lockers and then turned him around to force Daniel to look him in the eye. Connor pressed his forearm against the other boy’s throat. “I’m here to finish what I started earlier, faggot. Let’s call it your ‘welcome back to school’ present.”

Daniel seemed to be stuttering for words, his eyes wide and gaping down at Connor’s chest. Connor felt his stomach churn with disgust. Was the queer actually checking him out? Him, of all people? Was Daniel really that stupid? “Are you checking me out? Really, faggot? Can’t you keep your disgusting, unnatural urges under control?”

Daniel just pointed at Connor’s chest, his eyes still wide and his mouth opening and closing like a fish. Connor looked down at his chest to see what the queer was staring at. He almost shit a brick at the sight. Connor’s chest was glowing a bright white.

Connor jumped back, trying to get as far away from Daniel as he possibly could as if that could somehow make it go away. “This means - no, it can’t be. This has got to be a mistake or something. There’s no way that I’m a queer. Daniel, I need you to show me your chest right now! Take off your shirt, I need to see!”

Red-faced, gasping for air, and looking panicked, Daniel fumbled trying to pull his shirt off. After some struggle, Daniel managed to get his shirt over his head. The two boys looked down to Daniel’s chest to see that it had the exact same glow as Connor’s.

The two boys made eye contact, both trying to process what their matching chests meant. Daniel was the first to speak, “That means that we’re -”

“Aw, hell no!” the two boys said at the same time, the puzzle pieces finally clicking together in Connor’s brain.

“There’s gotta be a mistake. There’s no way that I’m a cock sucking queer. No way.” Connor said, scrambling backward until his back hit the lockers. He could feel his stomach filling with acid that began creeping up his throat. Somehow this was Daniel’s fault. Daniel had some kind of sick, demented crush on him and Connor’s body sensed that and decided to react. That’s all.

Connor saw Daniel’s hands clench into fists, probably getting angry. “Alright, Meathead. Firstly, if you could stop treating me like I’m a speck of dirt on your $500 sneakers, that would be great. Secondly, there obviously has to be some kind of mistake here, because there is no way in hell that you are my soulmate. Even my luck couldn’t be that awful. So here’s what we’re going to do; we’re going to try and reverse it, change it somehow. I don’t care if it takes the rest of my fucking lifetime. I will find a way to prove that this is a mistake.”

“Good,” Connor said, still cautious and keeping his distance from the queer.

“Thirdly, you jackass, you’re going to have to accept that we’re stuck in this mess together, which means that we’re going to have to work together to get ourselves out of this. Doing that means we have to spend some time together, got it?” Daniel said, crossing his arms over his still shirtless chest.

Connor nodded, not really hearing him. He was still struggling with the thoughts in his head.

God, what would his parents think if they found out that his soulmate was a guy? They’d be pissed, disgusted, and ashamed, Connor knew. The panic almost making him tremble. His parents were nice enough people, but he believed that, like the rest of the town and himself, his parents were convinced that homosexuality was a sin - an abomination, even. He’d be kicked out of his home, shunned by his family, and that would just be the beginning.

After all of that, the news would spread to the rest of the town. First to the friends of his parents because his parents would confide in them about why they had kicked Connor out. Then the news would spread to his friends, who were the children of his parent’s friends and coincidentally were most of the members of the football team, because their parents would talk about what a shame such a “bright, good-hearted boy with a great future ahead of him” got dragged into the sinful abomination of homosexuality. Then his teammates would tell everybody else in the town and turn him into a social pariah. All of the friends that he’s had since kindergarten would shun him or even worse make his life a living hell.

He wouldn’t be able to play football anymore, because his team would refuse to play with a fag. It wouldn’t matter to anyone else how good he was or how often he lead the team to championships. The Coach would risk losing him than losing the entire team.

And if he got booted off the team? He would have to kiss his dreams for the future goodbye. He wouldn’t have the athletic scholarships that would allow him to attend a four-year university straight out of high school and eventually play football professionally, just like he had dreamed about doing since he was a kid. His parents would cut him off financially and he had no hope of paying for college on his own. His grades weren’t good enough for academic scholarships and he had no artistic talents. Football was all Connor knew how to do.

Connor’s mind stopped in its self-pitying tracks when he looked over to Daniel. Connor realized that all of his worst fears and nightmares were Daniel’s actual reality that he lived through every single day. The James family wasn’t very well off, to begin with, but when Mr. James had left his wife and son in Connor and Daniel’s freshman year, Daniel and his mother were barely scraping by. Connor knew that they each worked multiple jobs just to make ends meet.

There was no way in hell that Daniel was going to pay for college out of his own pocket, but Connor had heard rumors that Daniel already had numerous universities offering him almost full rides in academic scholarships and grants. He and his friends had all made fun of Daniel for being a nerd and obsessing over his schoolwork, even before they all discovered that Daniel was a fagg - Connor stopped himself, remembering what Daniel had requested of him. Connor’s mind interrupted, ‘No, not a faggot. He’s gay, there’s a difference.’

Returning to his original train of thought, Conor regretted ever making fun of Daniel for caring about schoolwork and his education as much as he did. It was his salvation, his ticket out of this shithole town, and it had gotten him so far. Daniel was so smart and Connor was just - how had Daniel put it earlier? - just a meathead.

With this newfound perspective of Daniel, Connor had to look at the other boy as if he were a completely different person. As he was looking at Daniel, he felt confusion and fear for the other boy rush through his veins.

Without thinking, Connor blurted, “Hey, Danny-boy. What are all of those weird marks all over your chest and arms? They look like scars and about the size of cigarettes. What happen-”

“Don’t even think about finishing that sentence, Connor. These marks are none of your business nor your concern and, I swear to God if you call me that one more time, I will kill you myself.” Daniel cut him off, quickly pulling his shirt back on.

It was obvious to Connor how Daniel’s shoulders were heaving like he couldn’t breathe, but Daniel slammed his locker shut and roughly shoved past Connor with his shoulder as he stormed from the locker room.

Confused, Connor put his shirt back on and grabbed his backpack, rubbing his chest with uncertainty. He hoped that his shirt would be enough to hide the glow on his chest, because there was no way in hell that he would be able to stop thinking about Daniel with those countless scars on his chest, back, and shoulders.

#tw homophobia #my writing #aw hell no #soulmate au

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tasksweekly · 6 years ago

Photo

[TASK 148: ARUBA]

In celebration of Caribbean American Heritage Month, here’s a masterlist below compiled of over 150+ Aruban faceclaims categorised by gender with their occupation and ethnicity denoted if there was a reliable source. If you want an extra challenge use random.org to pick a random number! Of course everything listed below are just suggestions and you can pick whichever faceclaim or whichever project you desire.

Any questions can be sent here and all tutorials have been linked below the cut for ease of access! REMEMBER to tag your resources with #TASKSWEEKLY and we will reblog them onto the main! This task can be tagged with whatever you want but if you want us to see it please be sure that our tag is the first five tags, @ mention us or send us a messaging linking us to your post!

THE TASK - scroll down for FC’s!

STEP 1: Decide on a FC you wish to create resources for! You can always do more than one but who are you starting with? There are links to masterlists you can use in order to find them and if you want help, just send us a message and we can pick one for you at random!

STEP 2: Pick what you want to create! You can obviously do more than one thing, but what do you want to start off with? Screencaps, RP icons, GIF packs, masterlists, PNG’s, fancasts, alternative FC’s - LITERALLY anything you desire!

STEP 3: Look back on tasks that we have created previously for tutorials on the thing you are creating unless you have whatever it is you are doing mastered - then of course feel free to just get on and do it. :)

STEP 4: Upload and tag with #TASKSWEEKLY! If you didn’t use your own screencaps/images make sure to credit where you got them from as we will not reblog packs which do not credit caps or original gifs from the original maker.

THINGS YOU CAN MAKE FOR THIS TASK - examples are linked!

Stumped for ideas? Maybe make a masterlist or graphic of your favourite faceclaims. A masterlist of names. Plot ideas or screencaps from a music video preformed by an artist. Masterlist of quotes and lyrics that can be used for starters, thread titles or tags. Guides on culture and customs.

Screencaps

RP icons [of all sizes]

Gif Pack [maybe gif icons if you wish]

PNG packs

Manips

Dash Icons

Character Aesthetics

PSD’s

XCF’s

Graphic Templates - can be chara header, promo, border or background PSD’s!

FC Masterlists - underused, with resources, without resources!

FC Help - could be related, family templates, alternatives.

Written Guides.

and whatever else you can think of / make!

MASTERLIST!

Maureen Bunyan (1945) Afro Aruban - tv personality.

Chris Comvalius / Chrisje Comvalius (1948) Aruban - actress.

Emily Bolton (1951) Aruban - actress.

Edsilia Rombley (1981) Afro Aruban / Afro Curaçaoan - singer.

Caro Emerald / Caroline Esmeralda van der Leeuw (1981) Aruban / Dutch - singer.

Gillain Berry (1988) Afro Aruban, Afro Jamaican - model and Miss Aruba 2010.

Liza Helder (1989) Aruban - model and Miss Aruba 2012.

Stefanie Evangelista (1989) Afro Aruban - model and Miss Aruba 2013.

Alina Mansur (1991) Aruban - model and Miss Aruba 2015.

Charlene Leslie (1991) Aruban - model and Miss Aruba 2016.

Kassandra Suarez (1992) Aruban - youtuber (Kassandra Suarez and Kassandra Vlogs).

Alysha Boekhoudt (1994) Aruban - model and Miss Aruba 2017.

Angeilys Porto (1996) Aruban [Colombian, Dominican] - actress.

Kimberly Julsing (1998) Aruban [German] - model and Miss Aruba 2018.

Naomi Chanel Laing (?) Aruban [Surinamese] - YouTuber.

Nathalie Biermanns (?) Aruban, Dutch, Austrian - actress.

Valeryn Vasquez (?) Aruban - model (Instagram: valerynvasquez).

Karen-Ann Odor (?) Aruban - model (Instagram: odorkaren).

Desirre Hernandez (?) Aruban - model (Instagram: qwn_desi).

Mariana Saer (?) Aruban, Venezuelan - model (Instagram: marianasaer).

Kiandra Pop (?) Aruban - model (Instagram: popkiandra).

Maria Alejandra (?) Aruban - model (Instagram: mari.pole).

F - Athletes:

Cornelia Melis (1960) Aruban - long-distance runner.

Evelyn Farrell (1960) Aruban - sprinter.

Nicole Hoevertsz (1964) Aruban - swimmer.

Roswitha Lopez (1969) Aruban - swimmer.

Yvette Thuis (1971) Aruban - swimmer.

Luz Marina Geerman (1984) Aruban - sprinter.

Roshendra Vrolijk (1984) Aruban - swimmer.

Naomi Halman (1986) Aruban - basketball player.

Monica Pimentel (1989) Aruban - taekwondo practitioner.

Jamina Roberts (1990) Aruban - handball player.

Sarah-Quita Offringa (1991) Afro Aruban - sailor.

Philipine van Aanholt (1992) Aruban - sailor.

Nicole van der Velden (1994) Aruban - sailor.

Allyson Ponson (1995) Aruban - swimmer.

Daniella van den Berg (1996) Aruban - swimmer.

Padú del Caribe / Juan Chabaya Lampe (1920) Aruban - musician-songwriter.

Euson / Julio Bernardo Euson (1941) Afro Aruban - actor and singer-songwriter.

Dave Benton / Efrén Eugene Benita (1951) Afro Aruban - singer.

Michiel de Jong (1973) Aruban - actor.

Jim Jones / Jimmy Jones / CAPO / Joseph Guillermo Jones II (1976) Afro Aruban / Puerto Rican - actor, rapper-songwriter, and director.

Curt Fortin (1978) Aruban - actor, singer, tv presenter, director, and writer.

Alain Clark (1979) Aruban - singer and producer.

Pete Philly / Pedro Philip Monzón (1980) Aruban - rapper, singer, and MC.

Smiley / Tavis Scoot (1980) Aruban - singer.

Roger Peterson (1980) Aruban / Curaçaoan - singer-songwriter, guitarist, bassit, pianist, and drummer.

Bryan van Putten (1985) Afro Aruban - singer-songwriter and guitarist.

Vince Irie (1987) Aruban - singer-songwriter.

Jeon Arvani / Jonathan Thiel (1991) Aruban - musician.

Mario Michael Gonsalves (1992) Aruban / Unknown - director.

Gilmher Croes (1993) Aruban - instagrammer (gilmhercroes) and tiktoker (gilmhercroes).

Jayden Croes (1998) Aruban - instagrammer (jayden) and tiktoker (jaydencroes).

Gio Leocadia (1999) Afro Aruban - DJ, dancer, comedian, instagrammer (gioleocadia), and tiktoker (gioleocadia).

Wally Warning / Ewald Warning (?) Aruban [Afro Surinamese] - singer.

Moses (?) Aruban, Jordanian - model (Instagram: mosesfitsanity).

M - Athletes:

Jeffrey Nedd (1957) Aruban - boxer.

Kim Reynierse (1961) Aruban - long-distance runner.

Hubert Wester (1961) Aruban - boxer.

Gerard van Vliet (1964) Aruban - cyclist.

Victor Maduro (1964) Aruban - judoka.

Adonis Kemp (1967) Afro Aruban - baseball player.

Lucien Dirksz (1968) Aruban - cyclist.

Richard Rodriguez (1969) Aruban - long-distance runner.

Miguel Janssen (1970) Aruban [Dutch] - athlete.

Juan Geerman (1970) Aruban - footballer.

George da Silva (1971) Aruban - footballer.

Michel Lopez (1972) Aruban - footballer.

Ryan Tromp (1973) Aruban - footballer.

Gerald Zimmermann (1973) Aruban - footballer.

Radhames Dykhoff (1974) Aruban - baseball player.

Calvin Maduro (1974) Aruban - baseball player.

Claudio Poppen (1974) Aruban - footballer.

Eric de Mey (1974) Aruban - baseball player.

Enrique Zschuschen (1975) Aruban - footballer.

Gene Kingsale (1976) Aruban - baseball player.

Sidney Ponson (1976) Aruban - baseball player.

Germain Dirksz (1976) Aruban - footballer.

Geoland Pantophlet (1976) Aruban - footballer.

Eldrick Celaire (1978) Aruban - footballer.

Jackson Gross (1978) Aruban - footballer.

Mark Mackay (1978) Aruban - footballer.

Robin Nelisse (1978) Afro Aruban - footballer.

Wander Gross (1978) Aruban - footballer.

Junior Faro (1978) Aruban - weightlifter.

Rodney Lake (1979) Aruban - footballer.

Carl Henriquez (1979) Aruban - weightlifter.

Ikel Lopez (1979) Aruban - footballer.

Danny Rombley (1979) Aruban - baseball player.

Roman Aparicio (1980) Aruban - footballer.

Kenrick Bradshaw (1980) Aruban - footballer.

Maurice Escalona (1980) Aruban - footballer.

Eugène Martineau (1980) Afro Aruban - decathlete.

Juan Rasmijn (1981) Aruban - footballer.

Geronimo Goeloe (1981) Aruban - sprinter.

Fiderd Vis (1981) Aruban - judoka.

Javier Wanga (1981) Aruban - judoka.

Antonio Giel (1981) Aruban - footballer.

Jayme Mata (1982) Aruban - judoka.

Ronny Nouwen (1982) Aruban - footballer.

Daniel Escalona (1982) Afro Aruban - swimmer.

Raymondt Pimienta (1982) Aruban - footballer.

Davy Bisslik (1982) Aruban - swimmer.

Andy Figaroa (1983) Aruban - footballer.

Pierre de Windt (1983) Aruban - runner.

Jeffrey Werleman (1983) Aruban - footballer.

Juan Valdez (1983) Aruban - footballer.

Jan Roodzant (1984) Aruban - swimmer.

Demy de Zeeuw (1983) Aruban - swimmer.

Lionel Tromp (1984) Aruban - swimmer.

Rubio Connor (1984) Aruban - footballer.

Ronald Gómez (1984) Aruban - footballer.

Reinhard Breinburg (1984) Aruban - footballer.

Theric Ruiz (1984) Aruban - footballer.

Roderick Lampe (1985) Aruban - footballer.

Hedwiges Maduro (1985) Aruban - footballer.

Eric Abdul (1986) Aruban - footballer.

Germain Cabrera (1986) Aruban - footballer.

Derek Brison (1986) Aruban - footballer.

Jesus Paesch (1986) Aruban - footballer.

Gino Mulder (1987) Aruban - footballer.

Marlon Pereira Freire (1987) Aruban - footballer.

Joshua John (1988) Afro Aruban - footballer.

Sylvester Schwengle (1988) Aruban - footballer.

Dwight Oehlers (1988) Aruban - footballer.

Dwayne Kemp (1988) Aruban - baseball player.

Randolph Oduber (1989) Aruban - baseball player.

Raymond Baten (1989) Aruban - footballer.

Clayon Maduro (1989) Aruban - footballer.

Shawn Zarraga (1989) Aruban - baseball player.

Erixon Danso (1989) Afro Aruban - baseball player.

David Abdul (1989) Aruban - footballer.

Rensy Barradas (1990) Aruban - footballer.

Erik Santos de Gouveia (1990) Aruban - footballer.

Emile Linkers (1990) Aruban - footballer.

Francois Croes (1990) Aruban - footballer.

Gregor Breinburg (1991) Afro Aruban - footballer.

Quincy Breell (1992) Aruban - long jumper.

Leroy Oehlers (1992) Aruban - footballer.

Xander Bogaerts (1992) Afro Aruban - baseball player.

Matthew Lentink (1993) Aruban - footballer.

Josh Gross (1993) Aruban - footballer.

Feddison Flanders (1994) Aruban - cyclist.

Jemal Le Grand (1994) Aruban - swimmer.

Jonathan Ruiz (1995) Aruban - footballer.

Jean-Marc Antersijn (1996) Aruban - baseball player.

Denzel Dumfries (1996) Afro Aruban - footballer.

Ryan Oduber (1997) Aruban - baseball player.

Walter Bennett (1997) Aruban - footballer.

Mikel Schreuders (1998) Aruban - swimmer.

Edre Elskamp (?) Aruban - footballer.

#aruban fc #poc fc #fc list #rph #caribbean fc #task: 148 #task: aruba

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malte1mj-blog · 6 years ago

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2018/2019 Matt TV Awards

Best Drama Series: Game of Thrones Homecoming Pose Sex Education Sorry for Your Loss Succession This Is Us HONORABLE MENTION: The Affair, Better Call Saul, Bodyguard, The Deuce, The Good Fight, Narcos: Mexico, The OA Part II, Ozark, Room 104, This Is Us, The Twilight Zone, The Umbrella Academy, Wanderlust

Best Actor - Drama Series: Jason Bateman, Ozark - “One Way Out” Sterling K. Brown, This Is Us - “R & B” Brian Cox, Succession - “Which Side Are You On?” Bob Odenkirk, Better Call Saul - “Wiedersehen” Michael Pena, Narcos: Mexico - “881 Lope de Vega” Billy Porter, Pose - “The Fever” Jeremy Strong, Succession - “Nobody Is Ever Missing” HONORABLE MENTION: Asa Butterfield, Sex Education; Mike Colter, Marvel’s Luke Cage; Charlie Cox, Marvel’s Daredevil; Kit Harington, Game of Thrones; Joshua Jackson, The Affair; Stephan James, Homecoming; John Krasinski, Tom Clancy’s Jack Ryan; Peter Krause, 9-1-1; Diego Luna, Narcos: Mexico; Richard Madden, Bodyguard; Ian McShane, American Gods; Sean Penn, The First; Bill Pullman, The Sinner; Milo Ventimiglia, This Is Us; Dominic West, The Affair

Best Actress - Drama Series: Christine Baranski, The Good Fight - “The One About the End of the World” Toni Collette, Wanderlust - “Episode 5” Maggie Gyllenhaal, The Deuce - “Inside the Pretend” Sandra Oh, Killing Eve - “Do You Know How to Dispose of a Body?” Elizabeth Olsen, Sorry for Your Loss - “One Fun Thing” Julia Roberts, Homecoming - “Protocol” Mj Rodriguez, Pose - “Mother’s Day” HONORABLE MENTION: Angela Bassett, 9-1-1; Emilia Clarke, Game of Thrones; Jodie Comer, Killing Eve; Carrie Coon, The Sinner; Viola Davis, How to Get Away with Murder; Mariska Hargitay, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit; Christina Hendricks, Good Girls; Taraji P. Henson, Empire; Laura Linney, Ozark; Brit Marling, The OA Part II; Mandy Moore, This Is Us; Ellen Pompeo, Grey’s Anatomy; Retta, Good Girls; Emmy Rossum, Shameless; Mae Whitman, Good Girls; Robin Wright, House of Cards

Best Supporting Actor - Drama Series: Jovan Adepo, Sorry for Your Loss - “The Penguin and the Mechanic” Bobby Cannavale, Homecoming - “Protocol” Kieran Culkin, Succession - “Prague” Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones - “The Iron Throne” Ncuti Gatwa, Sex Education - “Episode 5” Jacob Latimore, The Chi - “Guilt, Viral Videos and Ass Whuppings” Matthew Macfadyen, Succession - “Pre-Nuptial” HONORABLE MENTION: Gbenga Akkinagbe, The Deuce; Mamoudou Athie, Sorry for Your Loss; Jonathan Banks, Better Call Saul; Nicholas Braun, Succession; Reg E. Cathey, Marvel’s Luke Cage; Emory Cohen, The OA Part II; Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Game of Thrones; Vincent D’Onofrio, Marvel’s Daredevil; Aidan Gallagher, The Umbrella Academy; Justin Hartley, This Is Us; Alex Hibbert, The Chi; Jason Isaacs, The OA Part II; Tracy Letts, The Sinner; Delroy Lindo, The Good Fight; Ntare Guma Mbaro Mwine, The Chi; Pablo Schreiber, American Gods; Michael Sheen, The Good Fight; Chris Sullivan, This Is Us; Ryan Jamaal Swain, Pose; Connor Swindells, Sex Education; Shea Whigham, Homecoming; Jeremy Allen White, Shameless; Jesse Williams, Grey’s Anatomy

Best Supporting Actress - Drama Series: Julia Garner, Ozark - “Game Day” Indya Moore, Pose - “Giving and Receiving” Rhea Seehorn, Better Call Saul - “Quite a Ride” Sarah Snook, Succession - “Pre-Nuptial” Maura Tierney, The Affair - “Episode 401” Susan Kelechi Watson, This Is Us - “R & B” Maisie Williams, Game of Thrones - “The Bells” HONORABLE MENTION: Gillian Anderson, Sex Education; Gwendoline Christie, Game of Thrones; Patricia Clarkson, House of Cards; Dominique Fishback, The Deuce; Lisa Gay Hamilton, The First; Keeley Hawes, Bodyguard; Aisha Hinds, 9-1-1; Dominique Jackson, Pose; Marianne Jean-Baptiste, Homecoming; Cush Jumbo, The Good Fight; Diane Lane, House of Cards; Emma Mackey, Sex Education; Audra McDonald, The Good Fight; Janet McTeer, Sorry for Your Loss; Sophie Okonedo, Wanderlust; Ellen Page, The Umbrella Academy; Sarah Steele, The Good Fight; Kelly Marie Tran, Sorry for Your Loss; Sophie Turner, Game of Thrones; Ruth Wilson, The Affair; Alfre Woodard, Marvel’s Luke Cage

Best Writing - Drama Series: Game of Thrones - “A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms” - Bryan Cogman Homecoming - “Protocol” - Eli Horowitz Pose - “Love Is the Message” - Janet Mock & Ryan Murphy Pose - “Pilot” - Steven Canals, Brad Falchuk & Ryan Murphy Sex Education - “Episode 3” - Sophie Goodhart Succession - “Nobody Is Ever Missing” - Jesse Armstrong Succession - “Which Side Are You On?” - Susan Soon He Stanton HONORABLE MENTION: The Affair - “Episode 409”; Better Call Saul - “Quite a Ride”; Better Call Saul - “Widersehen”; Better Call Saul - “Winner”; Bodyguard - “Episode 4”; The Deuce - “All You’ll Be Eating Is Cannibals”; The Deuce - “Inside the Pretend”; The Deuce - “We’re All Beasts”; Game of Thrones - “The Long Night”; The Good Fight - “The One Where the Sun Comes Out”; Grey’s Anatomy - “Silent All These Years”; Homecoming - “Stop”; Homecoming - “Toys”; Narcos: Mexico - “881 Lopes de Vega”; The OA - “Chapter 6: Mirror Mirror”; Ozark - “One Way Out”; Pose - “The Fever”; Pose - “Mother’s Day”; Room 104 - “Arnold”; Room 104 - “Josie & Me”; Sex Education - “Episode 1”; Sex Education - “Episode 5”; Sorry for Your Loss - “One Fun Thing”; Sorry for Your Loss - “The Penguin and the Mechanic”; Succession - “Prague”; Succession - “Pre-Nuptial”; This Is Us - “Our Little Island Girl”; This Is Us - “R&B”; The Twilight Zone - “Replay”; The Umbrella Academy - “Changes”; Wanderlust - “Episode 5”

Best Directing - Drama Series: The Deuce - “Inside the Pretend” - Minkie Spiro Game of Thrones - “The Long Night” - Miguel Sapochnik Homecoming - “Protocol” - Sam Esmail Pose - “Love Is the Message” - Janet Mock Pose - “Mother’s Day” - Silas Howard Succession - “Nobody Is Ever Missing” - Mark Mylod Succession - “Prague” - S.J. Clarkson HONORABLE MENTION: The Affair - “Episode 409”; Better Call Saul - “Quite a Ride”; Better Call Saul - “Widersehen”; Better Call Saul - “Winner”; Bodyguard - “Episode 4”; The Deuce - “All You’ll Be Eating Is Cannibals”; The Deuce - “We’re All Beasts”; Game of Thrones - “A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms”; The Good Fight - “The One Where the Sun Comes Out”; Homecoming - “Stop”; Homecoming - “Toys”; Narcos: Mexico - “881 Lopes de Vega”; The OA - “Chapter 6: Mirror Mirror”; Ozark - “One Way Out”; Pose - “The Fever”; Pose - “Pilot”; Room 104 - “Arnold”; Room 104 - “Josie & Me”; Sex Education - “Episode 3”; Sex Education - “Episode 7”; Sorry for Your Loss - “Welcome to Palm Springs”; Sorry for Your Loss - “A Widow Walks Into a Wedding”; Succession - “Pre-Nuptial”; Succession - “Which Side Are You On?”; This Is Us - “Our Little Island Girl”; This Is Us - “R&B”; The Twilight Zone - “Replay”; The Umbrella Academy - “The White Violin”; Wanderlust - “Episode 5”

Best Guest Actor - Drama Series: Michael Angarano, This Is Us - “Songbird Road, Part 1” Gary Cole, The Good Fight - “The One Where Kurt Saves Diane” James Cromwell, Succession - “I Went to Market” Griffin Dunne, This Is Us - “Songbird Road, Part 2” Brian Tyree Henry, Room 104 - “Arnold” Johnny Sibilly, Pose - “Love Is the Message” Jeremy Allen White, Homecoming - “Pineapple” HONORABLE MENTION: Alan Alda, The Good Fight; Mahershala Ali, Room 104; Eric Bogosian, Succession; Bill Camp, The First; Zach Gilford, Good Girls; Russell Hornsby, The Affair; Ron Cephas Jones, Marvel’s Luke Cage; Luke Kirby, Sorry for Your Loss; Carl Lumbly, This Is Us; Michael McKean, Better Call Saul; Christopher Meloni, Pose; Lars Mikkelsen, House of Cards; John Cameron Mitchell, The Good Fight; Kumail Nanjiani, The Twilight Zone; Bryce Romero, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit; Adam Scott, The Twilight Zone; Michael Shannon, Room 104; Glynn Turman, How to Get Away with Murder; Dylan Walsh, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit; Rainn Wilson, Room 104; Dean Winters, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

Best Guest Actress - Drama Series: Lu Corfield, Sex Education - “Episode 3” Lisa Gay Hamilton, Sorry for Your Loss - “I Hate Chess” Sanaa Lathan, The Twilight Zone - “Replay” Phylicia Rashad, This Is Us - “Our Little Island Girl” Allison Tolman, Good Girls - “Jeff” Harriet Walter, Succession “Pre-Nuptial” Mary Wiseman, Room 104 - “Josie & Me” HONORABLE MENTION: Debbie Allen, Grey’s Anatomy; Zazie Beetz, The Twilight Zone; Sandra Bernhard, Pose; Courteney Cox, Shameless; Tyne Daly, Grey’s Anatomy; Michelle Forbes, Grey’s Anatomy; Irene Jacob, The OA Part II; Zoe Kazan, The Deuce; Debra Mooney, Grey’s Anatomy; Deirdre O’Connell, The Affair; Phylicia Rashad, Empire; June Squibb, Good Girls; Regina Taylor, The Good Fight; Beverly Todd, 9-1-1; Cicely Tyson, How to Get Away with Murder; Carice van Houten, Game of Thrones; Kate Walsh, The Umbrella Academy; Chloe Webb, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

Best Ensemble - Drama Series: The Deuce Game of Thrones The Good Fight Pose Sex Education Succession This Is Us HONORABLE MENTION: The Affair, Better Call Saul, Bodyguard, The Chi, Empire, Good Girls, Grey’s Anatomy, Homecoming, House of Cards, How to Get Away with Murder, Killing Eve, Marvel’s Luke Cage, Narcos: Mexico, 9-1-1, The OA Part II, Ozark, Shameless, The Umbrella Academy

Best New Drama Series: Bodyguard Homecoming Narcos: Mexico Pose Sex Education Sorry for Your Loss Succession The Twilight Zone The Umbrella Academy Wanderlust HONORABLE MENTION: The First, Tom Clancy’s Jack Ryan

Best Comedy Series: Barry Fleabag GLOW The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel PEN15 Ramy Veep HONORABLE MENTION: Better Things, Black Monday, black-ish, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Dead to Me, Forever, The Good Place, Insecure, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, The Kominsky Method, Mom, On My Block, One Day at a Time, Orange Is the New Black, The Other Two, Russian Doll, She’s Gotta Have It, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

Best Actor - Comedy Series: Anthony Anderson, black-ish - “Enough Is Enough” Ted Danson, The Good Place - “Everything Is Bonzer!, Parts 1 & 2” Michael Douglas, The Kominsky Method - “Chapter 1: An Actor Avoids” Bill Hader, Barry - “The Show Must Go On, Probably?” Andrew Rannells, Black Monday - “2” Drew Tarver, The Other Two - “Chase Turns Fourteen” Ramy Youssef, Ramy - “Between the Toes” HONORABLE MENTION: Fred Armisen, Forever; Jason Bateman, Arrested Development; Jim Carrey, Kidding; Don Cheadle, Black Monday; Rob Delaney, Catastrophe; Idris Elba, Turn Up Charlie; Jason Genao, On My Block; Keir Gilchrist, Atypical; John Goodman, The Conners; Pete Holmes, Crashing; Avan Jogia, Now Apocalypse; Chris Lilley, Lunatics; Eric McCormack, Will & Grace; Ryan O’Connell, Special; Timothy Olyphant, Santa Clarita Diet; Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory; Andy Samberg, Brooklyn Nine-Nine; Diego Tinoco, On My Block

Best Actress - Comedy Series: Pamela Adlon, Better Things - “Toilet” Rachel Brosnahan, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel - “Vote for Kennedy, Vote for Kennedy” Maya Erskine, PEN15 - “Ojichan” Anna Konkle, PEN15 - “Anna Ishii-Peters” Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep - “Veep” Natasha Lyonne, Russian Doll - “Ariadne” Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Fleabag - “Episode 4” HONORABLE MENTION: Christina Applegate, Dead to Me; Drew Barrymore, Santa Clarita Diet; Kristen Bell, The Good Place; Candice Bergen, Murphy Brown; Alison Brie, GLOW; Aidy Bryant, Shrill; Sierra Capri, On My Block; Linda Cardellini, Dead to Me; Anna Faris, Mom; Jane Fonda, Grace and Frankie; Melissa Fumero, Brooklyn Nine-Nine; Regina Hall, Black Monday; Sharon Horgan, Catastrophe; Allison Janney, Mom; Ellie Kemper, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt; Justina Machado, One Day at a Time; Debra Messing, Will & Grace; Issa Rae, Insecure; Gina Rodriguez, Jane the Virgin; Tracee Ellis Ross, black-ish; Maya Rudolph, Forever; Yara Shahidi, grown-ish; Frankie Shaw, SMILF; Lily Tomlin, Grace and Frankie; DeWanda Wise, She’s Gotta Have It; Helene Yorke, The Other Two

Best Supporting Actor - Comedy Series: Alan Arkin, The Kominsky Method - “Chapter Two: An Agent Grieves” Rob McElhenney, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia - “Mac Finds His Pride” Anthony Ramos, She’s Gotta Have It - “#OhJudoKnow?” Andrew Scott, Fleabag - “Episode 4” Tony Shalhoub, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel - “Let’s Face the Music and Dance” Timothy Simons, Veep - “Discovery Weekend” Henry Winkler, Barry - “The Audition” HONORABLE MENTION: Will Arnett, Arrested Development; Charlie Barnett, Russian Doll; Andre Braugher, Brooklyn Nine-Nine; Tituss Burgess, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt; Ty Burrell, Modern Family; Jaime Camil, Jane the Virgin; Anthony Carrigan, Barry; Terry Crews, Brooklyn Nine-Nine; Charlie Day, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia; Kevin Dunn, Veep; Brett Gelman, Fleabag; Brett Gray, On My Block; Todd Grinnell, One Day at a Time; Tony Hale, Arrested Development; Tony Hale, Veep; William Jackson Harper, The Good Place; Sean Hayes, Will & Grace; Frank Langella, Kidding; Zachary Levi, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel; Marc Maron, GLOW; Beau Mirchoff, Now Apocalypse; Ed O’Neill, Modern Family; Bill Paterson, Fleabag; Sam Richardson, Veep; Stephen Root, Barry; Paul Scheer, Black Monday; Matt Walsh, Veep; Michael Zegen, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

Best Supporting Actress - Comedy Series: Alex Borstein, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel - “Vote for Kennedy, Vote for Kennedy” Danielle Brooks, Orange Is the New Black - “Gordons” D’Arcy Carden, The Good Place - “Janet(s)” Sian Clifford, Fleabag - “Episode 3” Betty Gilpin, GLOW - “Mother of All Matches” Rita Moreno, One Day at a Time - “She Drives Me Crazy” Molly Shannon, The Other Two - “Chase Drops His First Album” HONORABLE MENTION: Hiam Abbass, Ramy; Uzo Aduba, Orange Is the New Black; Hannah Alligood, Better Things; Stephanie Beatriz, Brooklyn Nine-Nine; Mayim Bialik, The Big Bang Theory; Julie Bowen, Modern Family; May Calamawy, Ramy; Anna Chlumsky, Veep; Ivone Coll, Jane the Virgin; Olivia Colman, Fleabag; Sarah Goldberg, Barry; Isabella Gomez, One Day at a Time; Jessica Hecht, Special; Marin Hinkle, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel; Sarah Hyland, Modern Family; Carol Kane, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt; Jane Krakowski, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt; Jenifer Lewis, black-ish; Taryn Manning, Orange Is the New Black; Laurie Metcalf, The Conners; Megan Mullally, Will & Grace; Andrea Navedo, Jane the Virgin; Rosie O’Donnell, SMILF; Yvonne Orji, Insecure; Natasha Rothwell, Insecure; Alia Shawkat, Arrested Development; Jessica Walter, Arrested Development

Best Writing - Comedy Series: Barry - “The Show Must Go On, Probably?” - Alec Berg & Bill Hader Fleabag - “Episode 1” - Phoebe Waller-Bridge The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel - “Simone” - Amy Sherman-Palladino The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel - “Vote for Kennedy, Vote for Kennedy” - Daniel Palladino PEN15 - “Anna Ishii-Peters” - Maya Erskine, Anna Konkle & Stacy Osei-Kuffour Ramy - “Strawberries” - Ramy Youssef Veep - “Veep” - David Mandel HONORABLE MENTION: American Vandal - “The Brownout”; Barry - “berkman > block”; Barry - “ronny/lily”; Better Things - “No Limit”; Better Things - “Toilet”; Black Monday - “0”; Brooklyn Nine-Nine - “Four Movements”; Crashing - “The Viewing Party”; Dead to Me - “I Can’t Go Back”; Easy - “Blank Pages”; Fleabag - “Episode 3”; Fleabag - “Episode 4”; Forever - “Andre and Sarah”; GLOW - “Mother of All Matches”; GLOW - “Nothing Shattered”; The Good Place - “Janet(s)”; Insecure - “Fresh-Like”; It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia - “Mac Finds His Pride”; It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia - “Time’s Up for the Gang”; The Kominsky Method - “Chapter Two: An Agent Grieves”; The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel - “Let’s Face the Music and Dance”; The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel - “Midnight at the Concord”; The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel - “We’re Going to the Catskills!”; Modern Family - “A Year of Birthdays”; Mom - “Jell-O shots and the Truth About Santa”; On My Block - “Chapter Sixteen”; One Day at a Time - “Nip It in the Bud”; Orange Is the New Black - “Be Free”; The Other Two - “Chase Drops His First Album”; The Other Two - “Chase Gets the Gays”; PEN15 - “AIM”; PEN15 - “Dance”; PEN15 - “Ojichan”; Ramy - “Between the Toes”; Ramy - “Ne Me Quitte Pas”; Russian Doll - “Ariadne”; Russian Doll - “Reflection”; She’s Gotta Have It - “#IAmYourMirror”; Shrill - “Pool”; Veep - “Discovery Weekend”

Best Directing - Comedy Series: Barry - “ronny/lily” - Bill Hader Fleabag - “Episode 1” - Harry Bradbeer GLOW - “Every Potato Has a Receipt” - Jesse Peretz It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia - “Mac Finds His Pride” - Todd Biermann The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel - “Midnight at the Concord” - Amy Sherman-Palladino The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel - “We’re Going to the Catskills!” - Daniel Palladino Veep - “Veep” - David Mandel HONORABLE MENTION: Barry - “berkman > block”; Barry - “The Show Must Go On, Probably?”; Better Things - “Monsters in the Moonlight”; Better Things - “No Limit”; Black Monday - “0”; Brooklyn Nine-Nine - “Suicide Squad”; Crashing - “The Viewing Party”; Dead to Me - “You Have to Go”; Easy - “Blank Pages”; Fleabag - “Episode 4”; Fleabag - “Episode 6”; Forever - “Andre and Sarah”; GLOW - “Mother of All Matches”; GLOW - “Nothing Shattered”; The Good Place - “Janet(s)”; Insecure - “Fresh-Like”; It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia - “Time’s Up for the Gang”; The Kominsky Method - “Chapter Two: An Agent Grieves”; The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel - “Let’s Face the Music and Dance”; The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel - “Simone”; The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel - “Vote for Kennedy, Vote for Kennedy”; Modern Family - “A Year of Birthdays”; Mom - “Jell-O shots and the Truth About Santa”; On My Block - “Chapter Sixteen”; One Day at a Time - “Ghosts”; Orange Is the New Black - “Be Free”; The Other Two - “Chase Drops His First Album”; The Other Two - “Chase Gets the Gays”; PEN15 - “AIM”; PEN15 - “Anna Ishii-Peters”; PEN15 - “Dance”; Ramy - “Ne Me Quitte Pas”; Ramy - “Strawberries”; Russian Doll - “Alan’s Routine”; Russian Doll - “Ariadne”; She’s Gotta Have It - “#NationTime”; Shrill - “Pool”; Veep - “Discovery Weekend”

Best Guest Actor - Comedy Series: Diedrich Bader, Better Things - “Shake the Cocktail” Matthew Broderick, Better Things - “Toilet” Elisha Henig, Ramy - “Strawberries” Ken Marino, Black Monday - “243” Marc Maron, Easy - “Blank Pages” Lin-Manuel Miranda, Brooklyn Nine-Nine - “The Golden Child” Brandon Uranowitz, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel - “Midnight at the Concord” HONORABLE MENTION: Brian Jordan Alvarez, Special; Jacob Artist, Now Apocalypse; Jon Bernthal, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt; Bruce Dern, Black Monday; Johnny Galecki, The Conners; Marc Evan Jackson, The Good Place; Jake Johnson, Easy; Richard Karn, PEN15; Keegan-Michael Key, Veep; Luke Kirby, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel; Robert Klein, Will & Grace; Peter MacNicol, Veep; Jason Mantzoukas, The Good Place; Ken Marino, Brooklyn Nine-Nine; Michael McKean, The Good Place; Jason Mitchell, Forever; R.J. Mitte, Now Apocalypse; David Paymer, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel; John Mulaney, Crashing; Danny Pino, One Day at a Time; Zachary Quinto, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt; Craig Robinson, Brooklyn Nine-Nine; David Schwimmer, Will & Grace; Adam Scott, The Good Place; Jimmy Tatro, Modern Family; Steve Way, Ramy; Katt Williams, black-ish; Henry Winkler, Arrested Development; Dean Winters, Brooklyn Nine-Nine; Jaboukie Young-White, Crashing

Best Guest Actress - Comedy Series: Hong Chau, Forever - “Andre and Sarah” Jane Lynch, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel - “Vote for Kennedy, Vote for Kennedy” Melanie Lynskey, Easy - “Blank Pages” Sheridan Pierce, One Day at a Time - “The First Time” Maya Rudolph, The Good Place - “Chidi Sees the Time-Knife” Kristin Scott Thomas, Fleabag - “Episode 3” Wanda Sykes, The Other Two - “Chase Gets the Gays” HONORABLE MENTION: Christine Baranski, The Big Bang Theory; Connie Britton, SMILF; Nicole Byer, Brooklyn Nine-Nine; Nicole Byer, The Good Place; Sadie Calvano, Mom; Laverne Cox, Orange Is the New Black; Blythe Danner, Will & Grace; Lea DeLaria, Orange Is the New Black; Heather Headley, She’s Gotta Have It; Kirby Howell-Baptiste, The Good Place; Mindy Kaling, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia; Valerie Mahaffey, Dead to Me; Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Easy; Estelle Parsons, The Conners; Melissa Rauch, Black Monday; Haley Lu Richardson, Jane the Virgin; Annabella Sciorra, GLOW; Kyra Sedgwick, Brooklyn Nine-Nine; Chloe Sevigny, Russian Doll; Fiona Shaw, Fleabag; Anna Deavere Smith, black-ish; Mary Steenburgen, The Conners; Wanda Sykes, black-ish; Marsha Thomason, Better Things; Quvenzhane Wallis, black-ish; Michaela Watkins, Catastrophe

Best Ensemble - Comedy Series: Brooklyn Nine-Nine Fleabag GLOW The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Orange Is the New Black PEN15 Veep HONORABLE MENTION: Arrested Development, Atypical, Barry, Better Things, The Big Bang Theory, Black Monday, black-ish, Catastrophe, The Conners, Dead to Me, The Good Place, Grace and Frankie, Insecure, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Jane the Virgin, Kidding, The Kominsky Method, Modern Family, Mom, Murphy Brown, On My Block, One Day at a Time, The Other Two, Ramy, Russian Doll, She’s Gotta Have It, SMILF, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

Best New Comedy Series: Black Monday Dead to Me Forever The Kominsky Method The Other Two PEN15 Ramy Russian Doll Shrill Tuca & Bertie HONORABLE MENTION: Camping, The Conners, Disenchantment, Kidding, Lunatics, Now Apocalypse, Special, Turn Up Charlie

Best TV Movie/Limited Series: The Act Catch-22 Chernobyl Escape at Dannemora Fosse/Verdon Sharp Objects When They See Us HONORABLE MENTION: American Horror Story: Apocalypse, Castle Rock, Deadwood: The Movie, Good Omens, The Haunting of Hill House, Icebox, Julius Caesar (Great Performances), King Lear, Les Miserables, The Little Drummer Girl, Maniac, My Brilliant Friend, My Dinner with Herve, Native Son, True Detective, A Very English Scandal

Best Actor - TV Movie/Limited Series: Christopher Abbott, Catch-22 Mahershala Ali, True Detective Hugh Grant, A Very English Scandal Jared Harris, Chernobyl Jharrel Jerome, When They See Us Ian McShane, Deadwood: The Movie Sam Rockwell, Fosse/Verdon HONORABLE MENTION: Benicio Del Toro, Escape at Dannemora; Peter Dinklage, My Dinner with Herve; Jay R. Ferguson, The Romanoffs; Cody Fern, American Horror Story: Apocalypse; Donald Glover, Guava Island; Anthony Gonzalez, Icebox; Jonah Hill, Maniac; Anthony Hopkins, King Lear; Bill Nighy, Ordeal by Innocence; Timothy Olyphant, Deadwood: The Movie; Chris Pine, I Am the Night; Ashton Sanders, Native Son; Michael Sheen, Good Omens; Alexander Skarsgard, The Little Drummer Girl; David Tennant, Good Omens; Dominic West, Les Miserables; Fionn Whitehead, Black Mirror: Bandersnatch; Jeffrey Wright, O.G.

Best Actress - TV Movie/Limited Series: Amy Adams, Sharp Objects Patricia Arquette, Escape at Dannemora Kathryn Hahn, The Romanoffs Joey King, The Act Florence Pugh, The Little Drummer Girl Emma Stone, Maniac Michelle Williams, Fosse/Verdon HONORABLE MENTION: Kate Beckinsale, The Widow; Connie Britton, Dirty John; Gaia Girace, My Brilliant Friend; Carla Gugino, The Haunting of Hill House; Christina Hendricks, The Romanoffs; Margherita Mazzucco, My Brilliant Friend; Sarah Paulson, American Horror Story: Apocalypse; Amanda Peet, The Romanoffs; Harriet Walter, Julius Caesar (Great Performances)

Best Supporting Actor - TV Movie/Limited Series: Kyle Chandler, Catch-22 Oliver Jackson-Cohen, The Haunting of Hill House Eric Lange, Escape at Dannemora Michael Shannon, The Little Drummer Girl Stellan Skarsgard, Chernobyl Ben Whishaw, A Very English Scandal Callum Worthy, The Act HONORABLE MENTION: Asante Blackk, When They See Us; David Bradley, Les Miserables; Steve Buscemi, Miracle Workers; Norbert Leo Butz, Fosse/Verdon; Chris Chalk, When They See Us; George Clooney, Catch-22; Paul Dano, Escape at Dannemora; Stephen Dorff, True Detective; Matthew Goode, Ordeal by Innocence; Caleel Harris, When They See Us; Ethan Herisse, When They See Us; Michiel Huisman, The Haunting of Hill House; Timothy Hutton, The Haunting of Hill House; Joshua Jackson, When They See Us; John Leguizamo, When They See Us; Michael McKean, Good Omens; Scoot McNairy, True Detective; Gerald McRaney, Deadwood: The Movie; Chris Messina, Sharp Objects; Freddy Miyares, When They See Us; David Oyelowo, Les Miserables; Bill Skarsgard, Castle Rock; Daniel David Stewart, Catch-22; Justin Theroux, Maniac; Jack Whitehall, Good Omens; Michael K. Williams, When They See Us

Best Supporting Actress - TV Movie/Limited Series: Patricia Arquette, The Act Patricia Clarkson, Sharp Objects Aunjanue Ellis, When They See Us Niecy Nash, When They See Us Eliza Scanlen, Sharp Objects Sissy Spacek, Castle Rock Emily Watson, Chernobyl HONORABLE MENTION: Doona Bae, Sense8: Amor Vincit Omnia; Jessie Buckley, Chernobyl; Aya Cash, Fosse/Verdon; Jamie Clayton, Sense8: Amor Vincit Omnia; Jackie Clone, Julius Caesar (Great Performances); Lily Collins, Les Miserables; Olivia Colman, Les Miserables; Elisa Del Genio, My Brilliant Friend; Carmen Ejogo, True Detective; Sally Field, Maniac; Julia Garner, Dirty John; Annabeth Gish, The Haunting of Hill House; Harriet Sansom Harris, American Horror Story: Apocalypse; Felicity Huffman, When They See Us; Isabelle Huppert, The Romanoffs; KiKi Layne, Native Son; Billie Lourd, American Horror Story: Apocalypse; Paula Malcolmson, Deadwood: The Movie; Ludovica Nasti, My Brilliant Friend; Victoria Pedretti, The Haunting of Hill House; Florence Pugh, King Lear; Margaret Qualley, Fosse/Verdon; Margaret Qualley, Native Son; Elizabeth Reaser, The Haunting of Hill House; Vanessa Redgrave, Man in an Orange Suit; Miranda Richardson, Good Omens; Juno Temple, Dirty John; Emma Thompson, King Lear; Emily Watson, King Lear; Robin Weigert, Deadwood: The Movie

Best Variety Series: Full Frontal with Samantha Bee Last Week Tonight with John Oliver Late Night with Seth Meyers The Late Show with Stephen Colbert My Next Guest Needs No Introduction with David Letterman Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj Wyatt Cenac’s Problem Areas HONORABLE MENTION: At Home with Amy Sedaris, Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee, Documentary Now!, I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson, Jimmy Kimmel Live!, The Late Late Show with James Corden, Saturday Night Live, The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, Tracey Ullman’s Show, 2 Dope Queens, Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen, Who Is America?, Whose Line Is It Anyway?

Best Variety Special: Full Frontal with Samantha Bee Presents: Not the White House Correspondents’ Dinner 2019 Hannah Gadsby: Nanette Homecoming: A Film by Beyonce John Leguizamo’s Latin History for Morons Live in Front of a Studio Audience: Norman Lear’s All in the Family and The Jeffersons Rent: Live The 72nd Annual Tony Awards HONORABLE MENTION: The 91st Annual Academy Awards, Adam Sandler 100% Fresh, An American in Paris: The Musical (Great Performances), Amy Schumer: Growing, Annaleigh Ashford in Concert (Live From Lincoln Center), Aretha! A Grammy Celebration for the Queen of Soul, Carpool Karaoke: When Corden Met McCartney, The Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis, Cynthia Erivo in Concert (Live From Lincoln Center), Drew Michael, Ellen DeGeneres: Relatable, Flight of the Conchords: Live in London, Full Frontal with Samantha Bee Presents: Christmas on I.C.E., The 76th Annual Golden Globe Awards, The 61st Annual Grammy Awards, Ken Jeong: You Complete Me Ho, Julia Louis-Dreyfus: The Mark Twain Prize, The Late Late Show Carpool Karaoke Primetime Special 2019, A Legend Christmas with John & Chrissy, Ray Romano: Right Here Around the Corner, RuPaul’s Drag Race Holi-slay Spectacular, Springsteen on Broadway, Trevor Noah: Son of Patricia, A Very Wicked Halloween: Celebrating 15 Years on Broadway, Wanda Sykes: Not Normal

Best Male Performer - Variety Series/Special: Brandon Victor Dixon, Rent: Live Jordan Fisher, Rent: Live John Leguizamo, John Leguizamo’s Latin History for Morons Hasan Minhaj, Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj John Oliver, Last Week Tonight with John Oliver Adam Sandler, Adam Sandler 100% Fresh Bruce Springsteen, Springsteen on Broadway HONORABLE MENTION: Anthony Anderson, Live in Front of a Studio Audience; Wayne Brady, Whose Line Is It Anyway?; Wyatt Cenac, Wyatt Cenac’s Problem Areas; RuPaul Charles, RuPaul’s Drag Race Holi-slay Spectacular; Jemaine Clement & Bret McKenzie, Flight of the Conchords: Live in London; Sacha Baron Cohen, Who Is America?; Stephen Colbert, The Late Show with Stephen Colbert; James Corden, The Late Late Show with James Corden; Matt Damon, Saturday Night Live; Pete Davidson, Saturday Night Live; Robert Fairchild, An American in Paris: The Musical (Great Performances); Jimmy Fallon, The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon; Jamie Foxx, Live in Front of a Studio Audience; Woody Harrelson, Live in Front of a Studio Audience; Ken Jeong, Ken Jeong: You Complete Me Ho; Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Kimmel Live!; John Legend, A Legendary Christmas with John & Chrissy; David Letterman, My Next Guest Needs No Introduction; Seth Meyers, Late Night with Seth Meyers; Drew Michael, Drew Michael; Colin Mochrie, Whose Line Is It Anyway?; John Mulaney, Saturday Night Live; Trevor Noah, Trevor Noah: Son of Patricia; Tim Robinson, I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson; Ray Romano, Ray Romano: Right Here Around the Corner; Adam Sandler, Saturday Night Live; Ryan Stiles, Whose Line Is It Anyway?; Kenan Thompson, Saturday Night Live

Best Female Performer - Variety Series/Special: Annaleigh Ashford, Annaleigh Ashford in Concert (Live From Lincoln Center) Beyonce, Homecoming: A Film by Beyonce Aidy Bryant, Saturday Night Live Hannah Gadsby, Hannah Gadsby: Nanette Vanessa Hudgens, Rent: Live Cecily Strong, Saturday Night Live Wanda Sykes, Live in Front of a Studio Audience: Norman Lear’s All in the Family and The Jeffersons HONORABLE MENTION: Samantha Bee, Full Frontal with Samantha Bee; Kristin Chenoweth & Idina Menzel, A Very Wicked Halloween; Kelly Clarkson, The 2019 Billboard Music Awards; Kiersey Clemons, Rent: Live; Leanne Cope, An American in Paris: The Musical (Great Performances); Ellen DeGeneres, Ellen DeGeneres: Relatable; Cynthia Erivo, Cynthia Erivo in Concert (Live From Lincoln Center); Tiffany Haddish, The 2018 MTV Movie & TV Awards; Leslie Jones, Saturday Night Live; Alicia Keys, The 61st Annual Grammy Awards; Kate McKinnon, Saturday Night Live; Sandra Oh, The 76th Annual Golden Globe Awards; Paula Pell, Documentary Now!; Phoebe Robinson & Jessica Williams, 2 Dope Queens; Amber Ruffin, Late Night with Seth Meyers; Amy Schumer, Amy Schumer: Growing; Amy Sedaris, At Home with Amy Sedaris; Emma Stone, Saturday Night Live; Marisa Tomei, Live in Front of a Studio Audience; Tracey Ullman, Tracey Ullman’s Show

Best Animated Series: Big Mouth Bob’s Burgers BoJack Horseman F Is for Family Family Guy Tuca & Bertie HONORABLE MENTION: Disenchantment, The Simpsons, South Park

Best Voice-Over Performance - Animated Series: Will Arnett, BoJack Horseman - “Free Churro” Bill Burr, F Is for Family - “It’s in His Blood” Laura Dern, F Is for Family - “Summer Vacation” Tiffany Haddish, Tuca & Bertie - “Plumage” Julie Kavner, The Simpsons - “Heartbreak Hotel” Nick Kroll, Big Mouth - “Smooch or Share” Amy Sedaris, BoJack Horseman - “The Amelia Earhart Story” HONORABLE MENTION: H. Jon Benjamin, Bob’s Burgers; Alex Borstein, Family Guy; Alison Brie, BoJack Horseman; Nancy Cartwright, The Simpsons; Dan Castellaneta, The Simpsons; Laura Dern, F Is for Family; John DiMaggio, Disenchantment; Abbi Jacobson, Disenchantment; Jessi Klein, Big Mouth; Seth MacFarlane, Family Guy; Jason Mantzoukas, Big Mouth; Dan Mintz, Bob’s Burgers; Eugene Mirman, Bob’s Burgers; Trey Parker, South Park; Aaron Paul, BoJack Horseman; John Roberts, Bob’s Burgers; Maya Rudolph, Big Mouth; Kristen Schaal, Bob’s Burgers; Yeardley Smith, The Simpsons; David Thewlis, Big Mouth; Vince Vaughn, F Is for Family; Ali Wong, Tuca & Bertie; Steven Yeun, Tuca & Bertie

Best Reality Series - Competition: The Amazing Race Nailed It! Project Runway RuPaul’s Drag Race So You Think You Can Dance Survivor Top Chef HONORABLE MENTION: The Challenge: Final Reckoning, The Challenge: War of the Worlds, Hollywood Game Night, The $100,000 Pyramid, Making It, Match Game

Best Reality Series - Non-Competition: Dancing Queen Hoarders Leah Remini: Scientology and the Aftermath Queer Eye The Real Housewives of New York City RuPaul’s Drag Race: Untucked Shark Tank HONORABLE MENTION: Catfish: The TV Show, Dating Around, First and Last, Flipping Out, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Teen Mom, Teen Mom 2, Tidying Up with Marie Kondo

Breakthrough Male Performance: Ncuti Gatwa, Sex Education Caleel Harris, When They See Us Freddy Miyares, When They See Us Ryan O’Connell, Special Ryan Jamaal Swain, Pose Connor Swindells, Sex Education Ramy Youssef, Ramy HONORABLE MENTION: Asante Blackk, When They See Us; Theothus Carter, O.G.; David Castaneda, The Umbrella Academy; Desmond Chiam, Now Apocalypse; Taj Cross, PEN15; Justin Cunningham, When They See Us; Angel Bismark Curiel, Pose; Ethan Herisse, When They See Us; Sam McCarthy, Dead to Me; Marquis Rodriguez, When They See Us; Paxton Singleton, The Haunting of Hill House; Daniel David Stewart, Catch-22; Kedar Williams-Stirling, Sex Education

Breakthrough Female Performance: Gaia Girace, My Brilliant Friend Emma Mackey, Sex Education Margherita Mazzucco, My Brilliant Friend Indya Moore, Pose Mj Rodriguez, Pose Eliza Scanlen, Sharp Objects Sarah Snook, Succession HONORABLE MENTION: Patricia Allison, Sex Education; May Calamawy, Ramy; Elisa Del Genio, My Brilliant Friend; Frankie Hervey, Turn Up Charlie; Dominique Jackson, Pose; Violet McGraw, The Haunting of Hill House; Victoria Pedretti, The Haunting of Hill House; Emmy Raver-Lampman, The Umbrella Academy; Madeline Wise, Crashing; Aimee Lou Wood, Sex Education

Best Documentary Series: America to Me - Steve James, Bing Liu, Rebecca Parrish & Kevin Shaw The Case Against Adnan Syed - Amy Berg Conversations with a Killer: The Ted Bundy Tapes - Joe Berlinger Dogs - Amy Berg, Heidi Ewing, Richard Hankin, Daniel Lindsay, T.J. Martin & Roger Ross Williams Last Chance U - Greg Whiteley Lorena - Joshua Rofe The Staircase - Jean-Xavier de Lestrade Surviving R. Kelly - Nigel Bellis & Astral Finnie Vice - Shane Smith Wu-Tang Clan: Of Mics and Men - Sacha Jenkins HONORABLE MENTION: I Am a Killer, The Innocent Man, Making a Murderer, Shut Up and Dribble, Watergate

Best Documentary Special: The American Meme - Bert Marcus At the Heart of Gold: Inside the USA Gymnastics Scandal - Erin Lee Carr Foster - Mark Jonathan Harris & Deborah Oppenheimer Fyre Fraud - Jenner Furst & Julia Willoughby Nason Fyre: The Greatest Party That Never Happened - Chris Smith Harold Prince: The Director’s Life (Great Performances) - Lonny Price The Inventor: Out for Blood in Silicon Valley - Alex Gibney Jane Fonda in Five Acts - Susan Lacy Knock Down the House - Rachel Lears Leaving Neverland - Dan Reed Robin Williams: Come Inside My Mind - Marina Zenovich Say Her Name: The Life and Death of Sandra Bland - Kate Davis & David Heilbroner The Sentence - Rudy Valdez Vice Special Report: Panic: The Untold Story of the 2008 Financial Crisis - John Maggio Wrestle (Independent Lens) - Suzannah Herbert HONORABLE MENTION: Betty White: The First Lady of Television, The Bleeding Edge, Crime + Punishment, Game of Thrones: The Last Watch, John Leguizamo’s Road to Broadway (Great Performances), Last Chance U: EMCC & Life After, Lindy Lou Juror Number Two (POV), Marcos Doesn’t Live Here Anymore (Frontline), Momentum Generation, The Providers (Independent Lens), Quincy, Recovery Boys, Reversing Roe, Running with Beto, United Skates, Vice Special Report: The Future of Work

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takaraphoenix · 7 years ago

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Jercy Week Day 5: Soulmate AU

Percy Jackson did not believe in soulmates.

Sure, everyone was born with a mark on their body, a very individual sign that only soulmates shared. That was real. Percy had one too – a horse made of clouds, with thunder and rain around it. But that didn't mean he believed that his soulmate would mean he'd have a happily ever after.

His mom had a sign too. A soulmate symbol. But it wasn't Percy's father. And it definitely wasn't Percy's stepfather Gabe. Sally had a soulmate, but for six years, this abusive, disgusting man had lived with them and had made their lives hell. Not once had Sally's soulmate swooped in to save them both, a knight in shining armor, bringing happiness to Sally.

No, Percy and Sally had to help themselves.

Percy learned he was a demigod, he got the head of Medusa and Percy and Sally ended their own nightmares, became their own knights in shining armors. Because soulmates wouldn't save you.

That fact got driven home hard a couple weeks after they had saved Thalia Grace's life.

"Jackson. Wait up!", called Thalia out, a confused frown on her face.

They were at the beach together, a week before Percy's fourteenth birthday. Grover and Annabeth were already standing at the sandy shore, Annabeth holding a water-ball. They wanted to play and Percy was the last to arrive (Connor and Travis had roped him into a prank so he ran late).

"What?", asked Percy confused and turned toward her. "Come on. It is on. Zeus vs Poseidon."

"The duel of the century!", announced Grover with a broad grin.

"Your soulmark", stated Thalia as she approached him.

"Urgh. It's so cheesy for the son of Poseidon to have a storm-spirit as a mark", snorted Annabeth. "Not that Percy really cares about that. You know, he doesn't believe in soulmates. Even though they are scientifically proven. We've had a lot of discussions about this."

Annabeth's soulmark was a military helmet with two torches crossed behind it and a small owl sitting on it, staring right at whoever looked at the soulmark. She wore it with pride and especially after learning she was a daughter of Athena, she grew eager that her soulmate would be war-related too. Perhaps a child of Ares, or sorts? She absolutely believed that soulmates meant happily ever after. Most of Percy and Annabeth's arguments were about that.

"No. That's not...", started Thalia and grabbed Percy by the arm.

Annabeth and Grover exchanged a confused look and walked up to them. Percy started getting a little uncomfortable by the intensity of Thalia's stare as she looked at Percy's biceps.

"I know that symbol", stated Thalia, eyebrows knitted.

"Wait. Hold on. You know Percy's soulmate?!", asked Grover excitedly.

He was convinced that Percy would change his mind once he'd actually meet his soulmate. Percy just rolled his eyes at that every time. Though he had to admit, the prospect of meeting his supposed soulmate was a little... unsettling. Made him nervous.

"It was the mark of my brother", whispered Thalia softly.

"Wait. Brother?", asked Annabeth slowly, staring at Thalia in surprise.

There was pain written all over Thalia's face. "I... had a brother. Jason. He... He died... when he was two. That was... That was why I ran away, in the end. H—He... died. I'm sorry, Percy."

Despite his claims that he didn't need a soulmate or believed a soulmate could provide him with any kind of happy ending, it... was still different to hear that he would in fact never find happiness with a soulmate because his soulmate was dead. Percy swallowed hard, unsure what to say or think.

/break\

"I still can't believe you're alive", whispered Thalia.

Jason, Piper and Leo had returned successfully from their quest yesterday and Thalia had made the huntresses stop at Camp Half-Blood so she could reconnect with her brother. She still had a hard time believing her brother was alive, had been alive all this time. The Grace-siblings were sitting together on the roof-top of Zeus Cabin, watching the stars.

"I can't believe you're alive either", muttered Jason, leaning heavily against Thalia.

They had been talking for the past three hours, updating each other on their lives. Thalia's eyes found Jason's upper arm, where right above the branding from Camp Jupiter stood the proud stallion made of clouds and storm itself. She bit her lips.

"As much as we talked about ourselves, I... there's something I have to tell you", started Thalia.

"What is it?", asked Jason concerned.

"I know your soulmate", replied Thalia, brushing her thumb over his mark.

"W—What? I've been searching for them for forever!", exclaimed Jason, getting excited.

"Ye—eah. You should curb that enthusiasm", sighed Thalia. "He... doesn't believe in soulmates. And he's been thinking you're dead."

"Well... I... I can convince him that soulmates are a good thing", muttered Jason with a puppy-pout. "Who... Who is it? Can you tell me more about him?"

"Percy Jackson. I'm pretty sure you already heard about him", chuckled Thalia.

"He's... the rock-star of this camp", grunted Jason surprised. "Everyone talks about him. All the time. It's Percy this and Percy that and everyone's desperately looking for him, because everyone loves him. And he... you're sure he's my soulmate?"

"Positive. It's the sam", hummed Thalia, flickering Jason's soulmark. "Percy, he's a sweetheart. But don't tell him I said that. We're... I mean, we're friends. He cares a lot about the people he loves and he loves fiercely. He... is a strong fighter. He loves swimming, which, obvious, I guess."

"I really wanna meet him", sighed Jason, wrapping his arms around his legs.

"Well, you got the chance to be his knight in shining armor", grinned Thalia teasingly.

/break\

"You look so nervous", snickered Leo teasingly, elbowing Jason.

"We're returning to my... home", whispered Jason. "And my... my soulmate will be there. It's a lot, okay? So back off, firebug. I'm trying not to sweat a bucket here."

"You really think you can convince him that soulmates are real?", asked Piper with a frown. "I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be a downer here, but Annabeth talked about how... he doesn't believe in soulmates due to past experience and all..."

"I know that", sighed Jason, running his fingers through his hair. "I can just... I'll be myself and if I can't make him fall for me, guess... he's right. But I'm not giving up without a fight, right?"

"Very right!", declared Grover loudly and excitedly as he came to clap him on the shoulder.

Grover had insisted that he was going to join them on the Argo II. After all, his best friend was out there and he was going to go and get him back. Definitely. Which was more than welcomed, because Chiron had been uncomfortable sending the demigods without some guardian and since Coach Hedge's wife was highly pregnant, there was just no way he'd tag along. Not to mention the part where Chiron had been very doubtful about the highly temperamental satyr.

"You do have the blessing of Percy's best friends", grinned Leo, motioning at Grover and Annabeth.

"You really do", agreed Annabeth, both eyebrows raised. "We want you to convince Percy that love is real. He's not meant to be bitter, it really doesn't fit him at all. He's cheerful. It's only soulmates he's bitter about. And he shouldn't be, because he deserves to be happy."

Jason smiled faintly and blushed as he ducked his head. He really hoped Percy would accept him.

/break\

"A—And you think my... soulmate is on that ship?", asked Reyna, looking up at the sky.

"That ship definitely came from Camp Half-Blood and that means Annabeth will be on there. She fusses about me way too much not to be on there", grinned Percy, nudging her.

Reyna blushed and brushed her hair out of her face. Percy had spotted the soulmark on Reyna pretty soon, but only after his memories returned could he place the helmet and owl. After returning from the quest, Percy got to sit with Reyna and talk to her. Tell her about Annabeth. Just because Percy didn't believe in soulmates didn't mean he couldn't respect that others did.

"Percy Jackson, why would you get yourself abducted by a goddess?!"

The next moment, Annabeth collided face-first with Percy's chest, hugging him tightly. Percy laughed as he returned the hug, burying his face in Annabeth's golden curls, just to be hugged from behind. Turning a little, he cracked a smile as he saw Grover.

"G-man. You came too", grinned Percy, wrapping his arms around them both.

"Of course! You're my best friend!", huffed Grover seriously. "I was super worried about you!"

Percy smiled, feeling tears prickling in his eyes. He turned a little toward where Reyna was hugging a blonde guy. Smile growing, Percy steered Annabeth toward the hugging duo.

"There's someone I need you to meet, Annie", grinned Percy. "You're gonna be happy about this."

"Oh, Percy, there is someone you need to meet too-", started Annabeth.

"Reyna, this is Annabeth!", announced Percy with a broad grin before Annabeth could finish.

Reyna turned around, eyes large. For a moment, Annabeth was confused, but then Reyna pulled up her shirt, revealing the sign on her hip-bone. Annabeth made a strangled sound and clasped one hand over her mouth. Percy huffed and rolled his eyes.

"I can't show you mine because it's on my shoulder-blade and I am not stripping down to my bra in front of total strangers, but... that's my sign", whispered Annabeth in disbelief.

"I know. Percy said so, when he saw it. He recognized it", replied Reyna with a shy smile. "Hello. I'm... Reyna. Praetor of New Rome. Daughter of Bellona."

"Praetor?", whispered Annabeth impressed.

"Oh, our girl got herself an important girl!", whistled Grover. "You go!"

"...Grover. Tune it down, or she might murder you", advised Percy.

"Percy, you wound me, Annabeth would never-", huffed Grover, stopping when Annabeth glared. "Okay, she might actually murder me. I'll just... steal Percy here and update him, yeah? Yeah."

Annabeth rolled her eyes and waved her hand at them, just as Reyna took her other hand. The two girls walked away, talking softly. Frank and Hazel had taken over smoothing things over on the Roman front, introducing people to each other. There were others with Annabeth, Grover and the blonde guy. Two, who were now talking to Frank and Hazel, but before Percy could go and investigate them, the blonde guy pushed between them, right in front of Percy.

"You're Percy. Percy Jackson", whispered the blonde with the broadest grin possible.

"Percy, this is... Jason. Jason Grace. Thalia's... younger brother. Who was never dead but sacrificed to Juno and all our favorite goddess brought him to the Romans, because he's a son of Jupiter", stated Grover. "A—And I'll go and join Piper and Leo. We get caught up later, yeah, Perce?"

Percy would have protested if he had any words left. Jason Grace was dead. His soulmate had died when he was two. Thalia had told him that years ago. Jason Grace was dead, or... not.

"Hi. Uhm. Hey. I... urgh, I have no idea what to say", sighed Jason and rubbed his face. "I've been dreaming about this moment for so long. But I never really thought about... what actually to say. And now that I see you, here... you... you're so gorgeous."

"Right", sighed Percy, slowly running his eyes up and down Jason. "Look. I don't... believe in this stuff. We're gonna work together to win this war and we can... be friends. But I am not expecting to ride into the sunset with you or whatever, so... don't expect that either."

"Okay", nodded Jason with a small smile.

"...Okay?", echoed Percy a little confused.

"I've lived with your best friends for the past six months. I was prepared for you to not want this. And... And I respect that. I respect you", started Jason softly. "I'm not... I'm not going to push and make you uncomfortable by asking for more than you're willing to give. Friends is... good."

Percy was genuinely surprised, but in a very positive way.

/break\

Percy was laying on his back on the deck of the ship, staring into the night sky and thinking about Tartarus, Damansen and Bob. Shuddering, he wrapped his arms around himself. He startled when someone threw a very soft jacket over him. Tilting his head, he saw Jason standing next to him.

"Can't sleep again?", whispered Jason gently as he sat down next to Percy.

Slowly, he laid down next to Percy and even slower, Percy started cuddling up to Jason. Jason was warm and comfortable and very soothing. Brewing the storm together with Jason had been the best feeling ever. Jason had not been pushy at all, he was actually a pretty good friend. A great sparring partner, good for comfort and gossip and companionship. Percy... really liked Jason. A lot. Reaching out, Percy gently traced the storm-spirit on Jason's arm. The soulmark. Jason huffed and wrapped an arm around Percy's back, pulling him closer. Percy felt safe and warm in Jason's arms.

"I never believed in soulmates...", started Percy slowly, tilting his head up. "My mom was 'left' by my dad. My stepfather was an abusive piece of garbage. We had to... save ourselves. Neither her soulmate nor mine came to our rescue. And then Thalia told me you're dead. But... my mom... she... found her soulmate. Paul. My new stepfather. He's... great. And he makes her smile like I have never seen her smile. And you're... great. You're nice and sweet and I really like you and... I don't know if I believe in happily ever after, but... I think we might... stand a chance. Can I... kiss you?"

Jason stared at him and then he broke into the broadest smile ever as he nodded wildly. As they kissed, Percy smiled softly. Maybe not happily ever after, but perhaps happiness, right now.

~*~ The End ~*~

Read this here on FFNet & here on AO3

#jercy week #imaginejercy #jercy #jason grace #percy jackson #pjoverse #fanfiction #soulmate au #percy jackson and the olympians #heroes of olympus

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