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#could be a lot of things causing All That sure. but one of those things is definitely this thing.
dekusdante · 1 day
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Things that annoys me in the Jujutsu Kaisen Fandom
Sorry but this is going to be all over the place.
Am I the only one tired of the same trope being used when it comes to Gojo from JJK? In other words the enemies to lovers trope where the oc or reader is basically Utahime with out the name.
Like we all remember the episode where he gave out what type of person he was into which was a nice girl or something along those lines. I that as writers you have to take creative liberties but why are all the readers in these stories are exactly the same.
They either hate Gojo or is super easily annoyed at him. Jerks but its okay cause for some reason he loves them unconditionally. This is so annoying cause there is no push back from Gojo in these stories. Just him taking back the reader or waiting for them to return his feelings when in actuality he shouldn't.
Another thing that annoys me is why is it always the guy that's simping why can't it ever be the woman being madly in love and trying to win him over?
This enemies to lover trope has completely taken over the Reader x Gojo fandom and its so overused. Now I will admit there are some gems out there, but I just don't even bother reading anything that is enemies to lovers anymore. I'm just tired of reading the same thing over and over again with the same copy and paste formula/reader.
Also why is smut so strong on here. Like don't get me wrong those writers are killing it with the plot aspect but man does all the smut kill me. Like I want more plot these are really good and creative ideas but man the smut kills me lol. Still reading the plot but stop at the smut parts which is usually the end so we gucci.
Hmm, another trope I refuse to read in these are arranged marriage were we are supposed to be upset with the guy who is forced to marry someone they don't want too. Why? Well for starters it always start with the reader being mistreated by the guy for some reason and the reader putting up with it until something happens and the guy falls in love with them and has to gain both their trust and love again.
I can get behind this but they always make the guy so unredeemable in these that it would be crazy if she takes him back. [She always does] Another thing is we are supposed to hate the guy because he wants to remain faithful to the person he was with before the arrange marriage. Like why are we bashing a faithful man?
Another trope I hate is when the guy is always in the wrong. A while ago I read a Gojo x reader fic were reader was mad that Gojo couldn't spend a lot of time with her so she broke up. Okay valid even though I am sure this would have been addressed before or earlier in the relationship but okay. What annoyed me with this story is that she then goes on to get in a relationship with Nanami who then calls Gojo an idiot for losing a woman like her.
I could not believe what I read. Like what the hell did Gojo do? At this point Gege posted about Gojo's life and how the man is booked to the max and I couldn't help but think how distasteful it was to first make it appear as if Nanami would do something like that to Gojo and secondly pretend that they don't have more free time compared to him. Like Nanami even understood why Geto did what he did.
Anyway that's all I got for now. I am not here to argue but I would love to hear about what you think on this. A second opinion is always welcomed and if you have a trope you don't like then I would love to hear it.
Also if you have a story that you would like to promo then please do so in the comments. It is a okay if you want too. No pressure,
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devnmon · 22 hours
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to be loved is to be changed.
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Summary: Cutting Daryl's hair and his uncertainty around the idea of a walled community that's survived thus far.
a/n: back to writing daryl like i never left! i wanted this to be mostly soft but i realized thats unrealistic for him during the first days in alexandria. twd rewatches really do it in for me huh. wrote this in two days cause it was an idea i really liked and wanted to put it out there. enjoy <3
no warnings except suggestive at the end! | wc: 2k
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Daryl was not amused. By any of it.
Exhausted, covered in sweat, on edge, sure.
But amused? No. Far from it.
Absurd. That's what it was. To walk into metal walls of a community and trust it's exactly how it looks... that was the furthest thing from happening.
So when everyone else was taking advantage of the running water and toiletries, Daryl sat in protest. He would never fit in here, no matter how long they stayed. If this place lasted that long.
He sat in the filth and sweat and grease that coated his skin, sweat painted forehead and hair stuck to the back of his neck. Dark bangs covered his eyes, peeking through the hair as if it were to shield him from the darting eyes of people around him.
Though nothing would compare to how terribly out of place he felt. It took him a lot to feel included in Rick's group, to utter family in a world he thought he'd spend with his brother.
But now, they all were his family; Rick, Maggie, Glenn, you. Picking him back up by the knowledge that he can try to start over every single day.
He wouldn't-- no, couldn't conform to the pristine, blind-eyed disposition he saw in all the people living so wonderfully in this place.
Not being how he was out there didn't feel like him. Felt the farthest thing from it when he knew everyone else just felt grateful to not be out there. At least, almost all of them did.
Those people hadn't seen what you'd all seen. What you experienced, who you'd lost on the road. They didn't know.
Seeing you and Carol and the others refresh yourselves with soap and clean clothes that weren't stained by sweat or blood made him scoff.
How could you let down your guards so quickly? Give up the weapons you slept next to and gripped tightly to like they were merely objects and not a part of you.
His bow was like a second skin. What made you all indifferent?
You, once terrified of the outside, became a strengthened version of yourself. No longer shying away of everything that went bump in the night, too timid to move.
Then, you were safe inside yourself. Now, you were edged and cautious, backed by those you trusted.
To be invited back to a walled community with running water and actual houses? It sounded unreal.
But you were almost out there for too long.
Refreshing yourself from all that covered you on the outside only made you hopeful for what was to come. What could come. Optimism and hopefulness radiated from Deanna the minute you saw her face.
It was bizarre, seeing a bunch of people without the same hardened looks and dirtied clothes you all adorned. Strolling down the streets, going about their day like they were unaware of what the world was. Of what it had come to.
By the way they ogled as you passed by, dropping your weapons to be stored and trudging down the lane to be interviewed, they had not seen what you had.
They were the lucky ones. Lucky enough to hide behind steel walls and barbecues like the world hadn't stopped turning.
But you weren't as opposed to cleaning yourself up as much as Daryl was. A little nervous to be as vulnerable washing alone for the first time in months, but excited to see it all wash down the drain.
You knew Carol would be begging him soon enough. Not even a full day had passed and you had all jumped at the chance to have warm water rush over your skin. So your clothes wouldn't stick to your skin from the sweat and grime built up there.
If you could have stayed under the shower for the rest of your life without getting pruned fingers, you would have chose so in a heartbeat.
But spotting Daryl with the same dirt on his arms broke you a little. You knew how far he'd come since the quarry, how he was used to being on the outside.
You always knew he leaned into that part of him, the archer who never needed to rely on anyone for anything before. Watching him protect all of you though, that was the kicker.
"I'm gonna hose you down in your sleep." Said one Carol Peletier as she walked down the sidewalk, other members of your group further exploring as they'd been told to do so.
"You know she's serious about that hose." You began, walking out the front door to greet him.
Daryl scoffed and went back to playing with his bow.
"And I'd help her, if I didn't know how you are." You could see his blues peeking through the hair stuck to his forehead, almost poking into his eyes.
Standing next to him now, you reached out a hand to brush some of the hair out of his eyes, before cupping his cheek softly. He flinched at first, but welcomed your warm contact.
Daryl knew you cared for him, though being on the road had made him retreat inside himself again. Just before the prison fell, you saw that golden heart of his peek through his chest. But after Hershel, after Beth, he was overcome with a need to harden his exterior.
Any physical affection he was warming up to was all because of you, how your words disarmed him and tied a string around his lungs. Even if the road challenged him and your whole group, it was something familiar that you all knew like the back of your hand.
Walkers, people, the elements. The lot of you felt prepared to handle anything that was thrown at you.
But meeting Aaron, making it to his community and seeing how life could be from now on, instead of just making it-- that was something none of you had seen before.
"Could I be the one to convince you then?"
His eyes met yours, darting back and forth across your face and the background with uncertainty.
"Dunno." He shrugged, looking away off into the distance now.
"It's okay if it takes you a while, Dar. I know out there is where you feel the most you, but we don't have to just make it anymore. We can live. Feel some semblance of normalcy. But if it takes you longer than some of us, I get it."
"Y'think this is normal?"
"No... but we have to start somewhere. It started for me when I turned in my gun, precious as she is to me..." he glanced your way again, "And washing the outside off. Feeling how it was without all of that on my skin."
"Don't matter. Just gonna get dirty again."
You sighed, "Fine. If you won't take a shower, will you at least let me trim your bangs? They're covering your pretty eyes and you know how much I love to look at them."
One of the corners of his mouth twitched upwards, a semblance of a smile?
"Nothing crazy, Dixon, just a trim so they don't get in your way."
A gruff sound came from him before standing from the railing and letting his fingers brush against your shirt. He went to grab his bow before you reached for his wrist.
"You don't need it. We're just goin' inside, okay? We'll be more comfortable in there."
His stern look faltered, blinking a few times before nodding and leaving it to follow you inside, your hand in his.
Daryl spotted the comb and pair of scissors on the counter before he even got close to them, trusting you enough to go near his brown locks with something that sharp. He knew your steady hand was careful, having stitched multiple people up over the time you'd been with the group.
Clearing his throat as he sat, you picked up the scissors and comb and sat in front of him.
"Let me get all the knots out first, okay? Even though I'm just trimming your bangs, you deserve to be pampered a little. Are you okay with that?"
His eyes met the floor before looking to you, heart in your hands as you spoke. Silently he nodded, and you grinned before standing back up and moving behind him.
Your hands planted softly on his shoulders, feeling him fidget in his seat as you slowly rubbed his shoulders ever so slightly.
Fortunately for you, Daryl's hair was thinner and therefore less prone to knotting, but still had a few you took a minute to get through. The teeth of the comb scratched his scalp in such a way that was foreign to him, sending goosebumps down his spine.
The little sounds of content and enjoyment made you smile to know he was finding some comfort in what you were doing. It almost brought tears to your eyes at how much he trusted you.
Placing a kiss on the crown of his head, you walked back around to his front.
He grunted again, "Why'd ya stop?"
"I haven't even cut your bangs yet, Dar." You chuckled lightly, knowing a proper hair brushing would put him to sleep from how relaxing it was.
To be the only individual he'd ever let touch, let alone cut his hair, filled your chest with joy.
"Okay, now close your eyes and hold your head steady, here." Your soothing voice had him smitten, willing to be at your beck and call whenever you asked. This time was no different. He'd not known what he did to deserve you, much less anyone willing to get to know and trust him as he did you.
Two of your fingers lifted his chin and spotted those blues once again looking your way.
"You've got eyes like the ocean, Daryl. Wonder when I get to swim in them." He saw the stars in your eyes, something he hadn't seen since you all arrived at the prison.
Slowly you combed through the hair framing his face, separating it from the rest to begin trimming. His eyes fluttered shut as you lifted the scissors up.
The first snip was the most nerve wracking for him, hearing the scissors open and close. While a soft powdery aroma from the soap wafted from your skin, he realized that maybe it wasn’t the worst idea.
He's not sure the last time he's had his hair cut, if ever. Daryl decided it wasn't worth it to remember the past, and to just live in the moment now with you.
"Thanks," he mumbled, clear enough for you to hear. Your movements slowed a bit as you realized this was a big moment for him. Even bigger than when you admitted your feelings to him.
There was something about how easy it was for Daryl to unfold around you, not completely, but a bit more every day he got through with you by his side.
Little hairs floated to the floor as you trimmed, shedding them like he did the makings of his former self. It was mandatory, or else he wouldn't be where he is today.
"Of course. You do so much for everyone else, I'm lucky I get to do this for you. I'm happy to do this for you." Your hand grasped his, interlocking your fingers.
"Means a lot t'me." Slowly he lifted your hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to it ever so lightly.
A whiff of that soap you smelled so nicely of made his head spin, realizing that if you smelled like it, he wanted to as well. There would be more dirt and sweat to come in the future, if this is where they were going to be from now on.
"Don't be getting all sappy on me now, D."
Scoffing, he replies, "Stop."
"Just let me know when you're ready to take that shower. Or I'll let Carol know she can hose you down instead..." You joke, standing up before combing his bangs through once more.
"Nah, I'll take the shower." Daryl shook out his hair from the left over snipped pieces of hair and stood up.
"Oh yeah?" You turned and crossed your arms at him with disbelief.
"On one condition."
"And what's that?"
"You come and join me."
You smiled, uncrossing your arms and holding out a hand to him.
"Deal."
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thegamingcatmom · 3 days
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BIRB MAMA LET´S GO 🐦‍⬛
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(I can´t get over how adorable/goofy she looks here. How am I supposed to fear any of that?)
If Mother Miranda were to take an interest in you outside the whole vessel thing, it would include:
(Yall know the drill by now: Don´t like my dark and twisted stuff, don´t read my dark and twisted stuff. 🖤)
having to listen to her ranting and gossiping about her "children"
sometimes, it´s straight up just death threats
she´s scary when she gets like that
especially because she tends to breathe down your neck to calm herself (your scent is quite helpful)
having to listen to her feverish prayers when it comes to Eva
Eva is a big topic in general
helping her in her lab
which basically means cleaning up her mess (and she is rather messy, it has to be said)
we´re talking mountains of papers as well as mountains of bodies
ofc she´s gonna make sure to snuff out every last bit of life before she lets you near her failed experiments
she won´t take any risks when it comes to you
as for the papers-
...it´s a mess
and it´s very scary (and very unfair) when she gets all hissy and murderous over you trying to do your "job" and clean up her mess just because, out of the millions of papers, there´s one that she still needs
"How dare you throw that away?!"
"Well, how tf am I supposed to know?!"
...you think to yourself because there´s no way you´re gonna say that to her face (you quite like breathing, tyvm)
Eva
whenever she has one of her downright terrifying smash-things-against-the-wall "tantrums" (as you like to call them not to her face) she gets all purry and touchy-feely after
probs her way of apologizing (cause there ain´t no way she´s gonna use them words)
you hate that it´s working
despite being a mass murderer/mold monster smt who doesn´t require eating or using any stuff that humans usually would (like toilets), she does appreciate you cooking and cleaning for her
things she tasked you with ofc
she quite...enjoys the sight
(smt about that domestic view just...does things to her)
(you force-wearing an apron drives her wild)
Eva
preening
she does have feathers, after all
and those need lots of TLC 💋
makes you clean her mask too
or her rings
anything, really
in return, you may wear it
(honestly? totally worth it)
we won´t talk about the fact she´s doing it more for herself (just like pretty much everything else) because seeing you wearing what is hers just...yknow?
but also to demonstrate just how good it feels to be bad
"Hm... What do you think, little bird? Do you like it? I certainly do..."
Eva
forces you to attend meetings with her so she can show you off
and also because it almost always gives her a reason to rip into her "children" because that bunch just doesn´t know how to behave around you
especially the tall one who keeps throwing you looks that make it seem like she wants nothing more than for you to drop dead
you kinda share that sentiment
anywhere would be better than here
...she´s scary
something Miranda takes note of as well
one look is all that is needed to put the tall one in her place
in moments like this, you truly appreciate your roommate´s/abductor´s murderous side
when you´ve been especially good for a (long) while (no escape attempts, no talking back, no disobeying her whatsoever) she indulges your childish urges to see her transform into different animals
she will deny any and all accusations of smiling at that, down to her very last breath
(she could be persuaded though...)
Eva
one day, you´ll probs have to go from cleaning that mess to making it
which means actively helping MM with her experiments
cutting someone open etc.
there´s no way out of it, let´s be honest
it´s her livelihood, ofc she wants to share that with you
(isn´t she just precious?)
spying on the villagers for her
(she will find out when you´ve been lying, so don´t even think about it)
Eva
(This actually got way less dark and twisted than I anticipated. Gotta work on that, LMAO.)
Basically, my HC for Miranda includes her getting an absolute kick out of anything family/domestic life. She goes absolutely nuts when it comes to her daughter, so I imagine this would count for a significant other as well. She gets obsessed to the point of no return, and she´ll fight tooth and nail to keep them with her always.
I could go on, and on, and on, and on, and-
But, alas, it is rather late and, unlike some mold monster smt, I do need my sleep. ;3
I might do more posts like that cause I have thoughts. 😩🤌
CYA THERE! 🫶
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evilminji · 1 day
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I Am? Still? Thinking?? Of My Hive Mind Crechelings Au? (Prev <-)
The Creepy Crechelings? My Fuuuuckin POSSESSED Lil Babies (absolutely affectionate and full of love)?
I CAN'T STOP, man. It's the SOFTEST and WARMEST Epilog? Just... fuck, I wanna cry. It's SO FULL OF LIGHT? So content and happy and "then... our Hero gets to REST. No more struggle. No more pain. Just golden sweetness and simple days."???
The Tragedy Of Darth Vader WAS, ultimately, utterly and completely, because Anakin Skywalker was a GOOD MAN.
Because the Dark took something GOOD and twisted it. Made it MONSTROUS. Killing his soul with ten thousand cuts of doubt and fear. Anger, arrogance, and unwarranted pride. He had COMPASSION. So much love in him he could barely stand to BREATHE.
The world BURNED for how great his Empathy, made the weight of all the universe's suffering, upon his shoulders.
He was GOOD. Could STILL be good. And? The Force DOES work in mysterious ways. It just needs... an in. Someone, ANYONE, to ask the right question. At ANY point. Because it CAN NOT push upon them the answers. Fix for them all life's woes. The Force is not a God... it simple IS. And though it wishes to help, loves them dearly, it can only OFFER what is ASKED for.
And, yes, there are loopholes. Visions and gifts it might give. Technicalities it might work off of. That gut feeling? Well... your INSTINCTS want you to survive. Surely THEY are asking? Are they not? "How do we survive?" They ask. Endlessly. So the Force may answer.
And SURELY, The Force knows, the you of 20 seconds from now, would ASK them to warn you not to eat that fruit. It is poison. That is definitely in line with what you would ask! It can see it. Because Time is simultaneous to the Force. Why, it can even use this to justify, too itself, the Visions! SOMEONE is asking! It can even tell you whom! And when!
It WON'T.
But it COULD.
Yet! Let us focus! Anikin Skywalker!
Do YOU remember how he was born? Oh, sure, we are all PASSINGLY familiar. Born to Shmi Skywalker. "No Father". Etc etc? BUT!!! Details MATTER! And in science? In HEALTH? "Spontaneous Baby" is NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
How. What, SPECIFICALLY, made UP the spontaneous baby? From WHERE? Was it air? Energy? A clone? A hypothetical child of Shmi and some long dead individual she could not possibly have met?
These are important questions! Specifically, important to understand WHAT ANIKIN'S SPECIES IS. Cause "humanoid" is NOT a species! A race! Stewjoni and Naboolians are subtly different! Yes, both human variants. But that's the THING, isn't it?
They. Are. VARIANTS.
As in DIFFERENT. Divergent from one another. Perhaps not A LOT, but enough that their unique medical needs might be significant! Different environmental strains, different diets, different evolutionary paths for thousands of years. In SOME cases? They might no longer be COMPATIBLE anymore! Or barely! A tiger and a cat are both feline, but you'd be blind to mistake them as the same thing.
Then we have Anikin.
Who is haaaaalf??? What exactly?
Well, "The Force" according to research. By means of Sith meddling. But! And for the purpose of this ramble??
He is birth was "a work of the midi-chlorians".
.......let that sink in for a second. The Force channeling, HIVE MINDED, symbiotic micro organisms inside Shmi? Were instructed or guided to? Just take energy? Food and DNA. And... 3D print a baby into existence. They did, obviously, it was easy. But CONSIDER WHAT THAT MEANS.
It MEANS?
Anikin is HALF MIDI-CHLORIAN.
(At least in this AU.)
It's WHY he is so, SO fuckin desperate to connect. So ungodly powerful. So destabilized by not having "attachments". His brain is structured by organisms and half IS, of a sort, the sort of organism that REQUIRES an interconnected system. To offload the massive amount of sensory input the Force gives him. To regulate Big Emotions. To form councils and crunch through problems.
To get those good, good Soul Hugs.
Anikin? Not doing so hot. He's been SURROUNDED by what FEELS like a hive? But they keep EXCLUDING him and he doesn't have the words to explain why that upset him. Why he wants to crawl inside their brains an just... just hang. Not touch anything! Just... just nap! Maybe get a hug? P... Please?
Why does EVERYONE HATE HIM?!
But they don't. They just have different boundaries. Are NOT Hive Minds. THEIR Midi-chlorians? Are not at such a high concentration that it affects their thought patterns.
Unlike? The Creepy Crechelings.
Who absolutely doooooo. THEY are still in the We/Us phase. Boundaries? What Boundaries? We're crawling through each other's brains and on the ceiling! Full of light, love, and horrifying prophecy! Eating sand! Many thoughts, head full! We can taste TIME!!! :D
And it takes a SPECIAL breed of Creche Master with VERY strong shields to interact with them. Mind tricks are both accidental and daily. Poker face of kindness is a must. Good emotional regulation. So when one sees Anikin losing his shit again?
They sigh. Put down their muffin. And go deal with it.
Probably not even awake.
They just feel *Overwhelming Power* and hear upset noises and go "Ah, starting early, today is." Then wander over. And effortlessly defuse the situation. Flop their Force presence on Anikin like a weighted blanket. It would be UNSPEAKABLY rude and invasive to most anyone else? But Obi-Wan just...? Watchs his ex-padawan go BONELESS against this Crech Master he's never met? Like :O
T-teach me. Please, for the love of the Force, teach me to do that.
Next thing you know? They are talking, Obi-Wan getting a crash course in Super Powerful Younglings™ that honestly he should have gotten YEARS ago, but was run too ragged to. And Anikin? Blissed out, high as a kite, at the bottom of a Youngling pile. Mmmmm, lumpy pillow. We gonna sit and sleep and climb all over you, Master Skywalker.
*adoring, emotionally gooey voice* Okay.
He volunteers. Fuck it, he practically LIVES out of that Creche. Padme! Padme, we're adopting. He wants to be a stay at home dad. Build droids. Everything is Beautiful and nothing hurts. *war is still happening* ah. Shit. Right. THAT™.
Okay! New plan. AFTER the war. He has discovered his calling. Is suddenly bonding with Jedi he's never even talked to before. Is that Plo Koon? Plo! PLO! Hey, thanks for lending me that youngling development module! You got any others you recommend?
Him and Obi-Wan? Suddenly getting along better then they have in YEARS. His Master seems genuinely THRILLED he has a clear goal he's working towards and is supporting him ten thousand percent. Openly bragging. Consulting with him. AND? Is so much more OPEN! That Creche Master really helped him Understand how Anikin's brain works!
Which? Leads to Anikin getting healthier. More and more stable. The babies fuckin sneaking aboard. His Men LOSING THEIR SHIT because WHY ARE THERE TUBIES, SIR?! Babies! Infants! Smol, itty bitty, BABY CHILDS!!!???
And? On one hand? He has never felt so clear head and stable as when they are with him. Interconnected. US and WE and THE HIVE. The Force is With Us and We are The Force.
Buuuuuut on the OTHER hand? He is an adult. He CAN seperate what HE wants from what is good for his lil baby friends. This isn't safe. They could get HURT. Die! It... honestly? It makes him think about his mom a lot. He thinks he finally GETS it. Hates that he does. Is in AWE of how strong she was. Hopes he can take the lessons she taught him and live up to them.
Because it's not about what HE wants. It's about what's best for these kids.
They have to go back.
.....except the man he THOUGHT was his friend? THOUGHT was a GOOD MAN? Won't let them LEAVE THE FRONT LINES. Won't even authorize an emergency shuttle. There are vulnerable children. On the FRONT LINES. And Shee-...no. Supreme Chancellor Palpatine, won't let them GET THEM TO SAFETY?
Is THIS what over a decade of friendship means to this man? Is THIS what his "sympathies" are truely WORTH? Empty words and no action? Saying what you want to hear then sitting in his fancy office while CHILDREN are shot at?
Anikin wants to put his fist through a durasteel WALL.
Through some careful maneuvering, some Ships on the way back are are able to pick up the VERY In Trouble kiddos. It'll be about five ship hops. But they'll get there. And in the mean time? The entire GAR now knows where the Chancellor's priorities lay.
But? What to do, what to do? The kiddos are GONE! Anikin's head is gonna start getting crowded. Fuzzy. Crushed up and too small! He literally, physically, NEEDS people. For his mental and ultimately physical health!
"Well... you DID say Midi-chlorians are in every living thing, didn't you? It's just that most Sentients don't have enough to reach the threshold of Force Sensitive. Right?" Says Anikin's medic.
Anikin raises a finger. Opens his mouth to respond.
Considers this genuinely.
Puts DOWN his finger and closes his mouth. Nods. Yes. Yes, they DO. Why? Where exactly are you going with this? Medic taps a message to the GAR in ship message board. Please. You know EXACTLY where he's going with this.
Yeah.
Yeah, Anikin does.
And the Vode? Gotta admit. Having their General curled up like a comm system in the back of their brains? Kiiiiinda weird at first. But he's not? Actually? Touching anything? It's kinda like having someone follow you around, hanging off your shoulders in a hug. Because they feel needy and desperately need the contact. Little awkward? Yeah.
But we move on.
And the General respects boundaries. Politely pulls back and out/away when they want "personal" time. Something he had practice doing cause he's in a relationship. And there are Thoughts and Feelings you DO NOT want to share with younglings. It apparently helped him learn to shield. Quickly. Very, VERY quickly.
They only laugh at him a little bit.
He imagines throwing pillow blocks at them.
But THEN? One of them gets a head wound. Nothing to terrible. But bad enough that the midi-chlorians flow up to the area, to help speed up and properly regulate the healing. Because their's have become more active. Not STRONGER mind you. Just... more ACTIVE.
And they can fucking FEEL their General mentally screech to a full stop. Perfectly, utterly, FURIOUSLY Blank. Like the dead silence before the blaster bolts start flying. Like just after the flash but before the blast hits. A terrible, TERRIBLE silence.
Something is Wrong.
"What Is That?"
What is... WHAT? Sir?
And then things move very, very quickly. All things possible, through the Force. A baby created. Chips UN-created. It really is? Just directing the Midi-chlorians all ready THERE to do what you want them too. Offering up some extra energy, if needed. A Leader to guide the hive.
One deep enough meditation, reaching though-out "HIS" sprawling body? Really, what is the difference between purging a chip from your thigh in THIS body? And being over there? Or over there? What are "walls" or "distance" or this silly concept of "other"?
We Are One With The Force, And The Force Is One With US.
He is every Vode on the Ship. He is Anikin Skywalker. He was a Slave. But now? NOW both he and they and US? Are FREE. He will suffer no slaves in his presence. No more chips or collars with bombs. Time to free the others. Free everyone. Demand ANSWERS.
And they do.
The epilog? Oh THAT I can not stop thinking of.
Padme in the senate. Fierce and accomplished. A storied carrier fighting for the people of the galaxy. Anikin a Creche Master for the POWERFUL kiddos. The strange ones who need someone sturdy.
Who can handle their Us/We phase with grace. Who learns and grows, honors and remembers Shmi Skywalker every time one of them one of them starts to pull away. Starts to develop boundaries. Barriers. Starts to want to be their OWN person. Has not just grown strong in shielding but old enough to develop a defined personality, seperate from their friends.
The twins growing up with a whole Creche of siblings. Because their parents LIVE at the temple. Their mother works at the senate! They wave bye-bye every morning. And spend the day with dad. Not separated, not quite living with them fully either. Not after infancy at least. But the Order is changing.
Vode everywhere. Kids born of Jedi. The Corps withdrawn back to the temple to help handle the influx. Lots of debates about Tradition and Change that Anikin care not a lick about. HE'S taking his Crechelings to the Naboolian Embassy's Spring Festival. Does everyone remember how to be polite? Say "hello"! *various smol children chorus Hello in Naboolian, badly but very earnestly*
Just? Field trips. Droids and Vode dropping by to say hello. Padme being the LION of the senate while her retired kindergarten tearcher equivalent, war hero husband cheers. Adorable but freaky children popping out of the vents. Anikin treating his tiny squad of Tiny Anti-christ Acting Babies as though this were TOTALLY NORMAL and just how children act.
SOFT AND FLUFFY EPILOG~☆
@legitimatesatanspawn @babbling-babull @hypewinter @hdgnj @spidori @tiredafel
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vitaminseetarot · 3 days
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I'm Back PAC: Last Summer's Lessons 🎡
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Hey everyone, I'm finally back from my unexpectedly long hiatus (I didn't mean for it to stretch out through most of September!). I had a wonky phase and had to patch myself back together. August was rather foggy. I'll just go ahead and blame it all on the astro transits. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Thanks to everyone again for joining the last game and sending me your feedback. I'm not sure if I'll do another game before the end of this year because a huge flux of free readings is fun yet exhausting, but we'll see what Vitamin's cooking up next…
I intended to release this pick a card much sooner, but I pulled out a lot of cards so it took some time to let the messages in. I even had to change the title a few times but I feel this one captures the essence of the reading. Summer's energy was bumpy for many of us, but these seasons don't come without some learning experience to take away from it at the end. This pick a card is definitely for those out there who think time flies way too fast! As autumn is rushing its way in with its Halloween Spirit (lol) before I can even finish swimming and barbecuing, now would be a good time to reflect back on the warmer months for insight.
Pick whichever pair of neon stickers are calling you. Feel free to pick more than one or whichever one resonates best.
Pile 1: Hello!+Cellphone 📳 Pile 2: OMG!+Mixtape 📼 Pile 3: Cool!+Gameboy 🎮 Pile 4: Wow!+Turntable 💿
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Pile 1 - Hello! + Cellphone 📳
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Gemini - Cross-Pollinate, Strength, Anger, Shark, Messenger; Page of Pentacles, 6 of Pentacles, Ace of Cups, XII Hanged Man, 10 of Swords "It's your own responsibility to EXPAND instead of just contracting"
Hey there pile 1! I had a chuckle when I pulled out Gemini along with Messenger. It fit so well with your phone sticker. "Hello!" Communication was definitely the prime area of your life that was affected during your summer season. You could have a strong Gemini influence in your chart or had a sensitive response to this last Mercury Retrograde. You may have had a lot of expectations about how summer was supposed to go, or had some goals or prospects in mind that didn't turn out as you would have liked. The retrograde energy may have caused delays in things involving communication, like waiting to hear back from a company about a job interview, or waiting to hear back from somebody via text. "Hello, is anybody out there?" Some things may have slipped in between, appointments or online marketplace opportunities that suddenly went cold; whatever the case may be, you didn't hear back and you had to learn to let it go for your own sanity.
Now that it's said and done, you may be currently caught in a slump of how to move those previous goals forward. 10 of Swords at the end almost feels like a resistance or burn out. The pigeon wants you to crack the window open as it's ready to send out new messages in new places. This last summer was like a brief dry spell, but it's not meant to stay that way forever, or even now. The wind is picking up faster than you think, and the 6 of Pentacles shows the energetic tables gradually turning. The cards are suggesting to not hold on to any resentments or frustrations about what has or hasn't happened over the last season. It was not meant to be an energy to breeze through like a cakewalk, and it's especially tough when someone who's relying on communication in some way has to contend with those frustrations. But try not to take the mistakes, failures, no-shows, and ghostings in any personal way. Whatever occurred wasn't due to some real or perceived flaw in your character, it's sometimes how people and situations are for the time. Release all the built up anger however you choose and allow the energy of autumn to flow through, because the Ace of Cups shows a renewal that will quickly wash away the anger if you let it, the way salt water can wash away the pain of fresh hurts.
There is a risk with the shark in letting negative thoughts fester. The weather will change, and with that the mind must follow closely and not be stuck in a season that has already come and gone. We wouldn't wear a swimsuit and sunglasses on a chilly autumn evening, right? So why is it so easy for us to get stuck on past events as if we never changed clothes? The shark can smell vulnerability with a sharp nose, so there is a warning against ruminating and regretting about what went wrong as this will leave you still in the water like an injured duck unaware of its dangerous surroundings. And I say "risk" and "dangerous" not to scare you. But if something in your life hasn't worked out over the summer, it's okay to try again in the fall and expect different results. You aren't crazy for doing the same thing again, things may go differently this time! The real risk is in not doing, but instead choosing to remain stuck and inactive in the mind. The only danger here is in quitting altogether.
You are meant to grow this coming season, in a way that you can witness. I feel like you have done a substantial amount of growing over this last summer, but that may not be entirely apparent to you now. There has been a level up on the subconscious level that is capable of blossoming out into external growth if given the room. You will soon be, if not now are, called to action in some area or areas of your life that needs care but has been left hanging. Summer may have left you feeling tired, but for different reasons than just being overwhelmed from tasks. It can actually get tiring for the mind to hold on to too many goals and tasks at once. It takes mental energy just to remind the brain to do a task, even moreso if your task is to remind yourself of another task! ("Be sure to set a reminder for…") Try to accomplish a little at a time to relieve your brain of them. Give yourself the chance to stand up and have another go in the boxing ring. Summer may have felt like self-sabotage, but it doesn't have to define the rest of your year. If you act now, and in confidence, I know things can change for you as the seasons show us that we are always in a state of flux. Forgive yourself for summer so you can embrace autumn's opportunities in a warm sweater.
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Pile 2 - OMG! + Mixtape 📼
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Dignified - Strength, Confidence, Faith, Active Online Green, Everything is Temporary; I Magician, 2 of Wands, 10 of Wands, 2 of Pentacles, 9 of Swords "CREATE RIGHT NOW not just during soft good times"
Hi, pile 2! Over the past summer, you've been focused mainly around refining your talents. It could be doing something that you're talented in, whether you know it or not, or you could have the topic on your mind. You've been hard at work in developing this area, this feels more passionate than a mere interest or casual hobby. This is like a pianist who spends most of the summer perfecting a song, or an athlete who's staying in shape in time for back-to-school try outs. This is a field you feel comfortable in, you're mostly confident about your abilities even when rigorous practice does its best to wear you out. I'm getting a sense that even though you're pretty capable at succeeding through this one interest, it may be coming at the cost of the rest of your time. There's a sense of not having enough time to focus on other ventures like a social life or relaxation, so in spite of the overall positive energy I get from your talent, it's clearly draining other parts in order to burn brighter and hotter, like a energy inefficient light bulb. Something about the bulb must change to fit your current lifestyle. This summer, you have learned the importance of balancing work with leisure.
You have been spending time working out your vision for how you want to apply your talents. You could be practicing in time to complete a project for college, or busy with expanding your portfolio. This is a very ambitious, career focused pile, and I'm getting most of you reading this one are still in school. You could have gone to summer school this year too (no shame, I went to summer school once and had a blast). Your sunny days are seen as a free space for getting more work done. Active Online Green talks about accessibility or getting the green light for something, but I'm also noticing the "Active". It's like part of your mind is always on, always active. Summer was probably not the best when it came to maintaining a steady sleep schedule, with so many things to think about and your key interest being the topmost thought. With only a few weeks composing summer vacation, too many tasks piled up can create an artificial race to meet everything by a certain deadline. "OMG!" All this backlog combined with big expectations makes for a crammed season.
At times, things can get overwhelming, but when you look back on past success, it can fuel you to keep moving forward. That's one of the great things about having a portfolio, for whenever you're doubtful about your abilities. The immensity of too much work in a short span can wear down on self esteem, but there is no room to feel bad about your talent just because it's not always perfect or things aren't completed on time. Even the most accomplished get bogged down by their work. When I see bad sleep in a reading, I get concerned because I know that, while it seems harmless at first, it can spiral down health if it's not addressed quickly. Autumn is often busier energy wise than summer as school has started, and offices run by fiscal quarters, so it's important to catch up on sleep when you get the chance. Doing a lot of work in the summer only to do more in the autumn can be tiring, so carve out short times in between to relax or do something light and easy in between the flux. Don't always look at space as an opportunity to cram more work; sometimes that space is needed for a different reason.
Find a way to balance both the practical sides of life with the fun creative aspects. There will always be time to put focus into what you want to do, even if it's only for a few minutes a day. Mixtape suggests that you may need to mix things up a little bit by not working on one thing consecutively for hours and days at a time, as not even tattoos are often finished in one sitting. If work is peeling you away from something you really enjoy doing, time yourself to have that fun for five or ten minute sessions. Creative play is necessary for recharging mental batteries, that's what the card means by "not just during soft good times." Even when things get hectic as midterms get closer, a few minutes to sit back will do wonders. The seasons are temporary, so try to enjoy what you can when you can. Summer may have had its stresses and its phases of mental fog, but autumn can be filled with chances to sit back and enjoy the fall scenery for a spell.
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Pile 3 - Cool! + Gameboy 🎮
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Mercury - Messages, Flow, Anger, Pumpkin Spice, Let Your Light Shine; 8 of Cups, III Empress, 7 of Wands, 9 of Pentacles, 6 of Swords "You never get there and you never stay here"
What's going on, pile 3? I see that, like pile 1, you may have also been heavily affected by the Mercury retrograde that took up most of last August. Gameboy Colors, while considered obsolete now (seriously, no lil emoji? ;-;), boasted amazing features in handheld gaming asides from the nice colorful games at its prime. Using a cable link, you could physically connect two Gameboys together to communicate and share between devices. Now, we can do all that wirelessly, but it was literally game changing back then as it allowed players to play together, face-to-face. I see you've learned how to move past some old fashioned form of communication that isn't working for you anymore. You could have even swapped gaming devices, computers, or phones over this last summer. You could have erased old contacts from your phone or friends from social media sites. I'm even getting a change in terms of transportation, where you're choosing to go out instead of staying in or vise versa. You could have used a different way to get around last summer, like using a shuttle bus or traveling by boat or train. This could have been to get somewhere or (in a boat case) been a part of a social event or party.
There could have been a situation which roused up some heated arguments between you and people close to you, whether friends or coworkers. This arguing, regardless of what it was, wore down on your defenses and you decided to pull away. Much of the bickering could have been due to unfair comparisons made between others. Someone may have been aggressive towards you over feeling envious of something you are or have. Whatever it may be, I feel here that pulling back was the healthier option. Sometimes, people want to keep you involved in their tensions, but I see you refusing to engage in unproductive arguments that go nowhere. Summer just wasn't the season for that stress, and you knew better this time around. You addressed things calmly and with compassion. Maybe that's why they're worked up over your energy; just refusing to engage makes you look "Cool!"er by comparison. (This sounds spicy when I write it down but I got to call it as I vitamin see it ok!) Summer is a time for staying cool, and now that autumn rolls in, you can put more focus into enjoying its splendors.
The time was and still is ripe for self-care and inner nurturing. Retreating to heal allowed those old emotions to work themselves out until the situation no longer felt as harsh when remembered about. If a company is making unwanted changes at the office, at this point you're past the sweating and complaining with other coworkers because you're more in the phase of waiting for good days and better results. If a trip didn't work out because of miscommunication, the time is better for planning the next one instead of mulling over what went wrong before. Your energy is just like, so what if things weren't perfect because things may be better tomorrow? And I think that's a great mindset to have when shifting between the seasons. Pumpkin Spice is right above the poor 7 of Wands. This card is all about that basic girl fall vibe, cozy and warm and far far away from whatever nonsense happened in recent past. You're moving from acting like the warrior to acting like the empress who's ready to snuggle up with fuzzy blankets and a cup of tea while watching the leaves dance and flutter. I honestly don't think this pile misses summer, y'all seem ready to go for fall!
With all that difficult energy out of the way, you can focus more on how you want to fulfill your personal time. If you were a mod to an online chat or a part of a social group and you dropped out of that role for the season, then it will now be easy to re-allocate that time to something more enjoyable and soothing. It's the "moisturized, hydrated, in my lane, flourishing" momentum going here, it started in summer and it's a great progress to have all through autumn. I see you entering hermit mode to establish a safe space for yourself starting around August, and it's likely that you will be in that phase for awhile. No pressure to hook Gameboy cable links with anybody if they're gonna fizzle out your fun, right? Although Mercury retrograde is over, there will be times when that old smoke tries to blow through again. I don't see you remaining totally settled in the months to come, but it will still feel like an upgrade compared to last summer.
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Pile 4 - Wow! + Turntable 💿
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Neptune - Vision, Reflection, Passion, Mirage, Sound - Resonance - Frequency; King of Wands, 7 of Swords, Knight of Cups, IV Emperor, Ace of Cups "EVOLVE into non-complainer"
How's it going pile 4? Out of all the piles it seems like yours had the most amount of positive experiences, even if it was only from the start of the season. You wanted to have an action-packed summer to remember. You could have spent a lot of time by the beach or near bodies of water like lakes, soaking in the summer sun while you had the chance. I'm seeing so much here about dreaminess happening, like you went to a dream concert or an unforgettable party. With all the fantasy theme here, you could have visited a renaissance faire or an amusement park based around fantasy. On the other hand, you have both Neptune and the descriptive card Mirage, which both talk about illusion. And the 7 of Swords makes an appearance here, too. So perhaps something that was meant to be awesome may not have gone perfectly as planned, even if you still had a good time. Perhaps the seating at the concert wasn't perfect, or a rain forced an outside party to move indoors. More than one parade may have been rained on, or friends could have bailed out of exciting plans at the last minute. Nevertheless, you learned over this summer to go with the flow and have fun despite how situations or relationships end up as things still may have turned out wonderful anyway.
I'm also getting that over this summer, you may have met with someone special. It could have been at an event where you laughed while exchanging jokes and numbers. Perhaps your season was spent thinking about this fascinating person, whether they were a cute person you're crushing on or seeing a celebrity on stage (while dreaming about the backstage pass). The last few months could have had you swept up in a whirlwind of fantasy, imagining what could be based on brief but memorable interactions. It's important not let passions mislead you when you meet somebody during the rush of an awesome event. I'm not saying for certain you didn't meet the "one", but chances are if you meet them again, you will need to do so from a grounded place before anything can happen. Let's say you met them while vacationing far from home. Yes, they were cute, but take some time to reflect on your feelings before pursuing something that may realistically be tricky to pull off.
You may have either received or lost a pair of glasses. They could have been prescription glasses or sunglasses (why are sunglasses among the easiest things to lose?). I think this may be a message about learning to use all your senses. Look at things closely to understand how certain things happened, if for example you're figuring out how to prevent a bad occurrence from happening again. Like if a party didn't turn out right because the DJ used a bad playlist, then you must look more closely at the finer details for next time by knowing what kind of music or DJ will be more appropriate for the next party. If a surf outing turned sour because of low tide, find a way to schedule dates that better correspond with the ocean's changes. This past summer wanted to teach you how to become more adaptable to various shifts, like how a DJ remixes music at the turntable/laptop. The point isn't to always play things by rote; life has a habit of switching it up to keep things from getting too stale.
Now that autumn is on its way, you're heading for a fresh emotional start but with a clearer lens. You have walked out of the summer sun feeling greatly inspired by its magic. Now it's time to take hold of those inspired thoughts and feelings in the pursuit of a goal. If you're getting a strong magnetic pull towards something artistic, like making a song or writing a story, then this autumn is a great time to begin while all this emotional energy is potent. This urge may have started around the full moon in Pisces; if you start something now, it may be done by the next lunar eclipse or when the sun passes through Pisces, so roughly a six month period. We may perceive autumn and winter as calmer and quieter seasons, but that doesn't mean it can't be just as enchanting and memorable as summertime. It's within your hands to create something just as special over the next few months if you are called to boldly do so. I'm picking up so much certainty from this pile, like if there's something from the last summer you desire, it's within your power to eventually claim it or experience it again, only even better the next time.
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This reading has not been evaluated by the FDA to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease or infection. Please ask your physician before going online.
2024, @VitaminseeTarot ™
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abarbaricyalp · 5 hours
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A Precious Few, These Precious Days I'll Spend With You 🍂🍁🍂🍁🍂
"Hey, Uncle Sam? Why are people on the internet mad that you and Bucky broke up?" Cass asked as he sat beside Sam on the front porch and dug out pumpkin seeds from the giant bowl of pumpkin mush.
"'Cause people think they're entitled to an opinion about our lives just because we're in the news a lot," Sam answered and deposited more pumpkin insides directly where Cass had just been almost done with the seeds.
Cass scowled at the bowl but got over it quickly. "Yeah, no, I know that one. You've said that one before," he agreed. "Mostly I meant, why do people on the internet think you and Bucky broke up?"
"What do you mean?" Sam asked in his sneaky-not-sneaky way. The way he always tried to prod for gift ideas while thinking he was being cool about it. He was never cool about it. "You know Bucky is working with a new boss and we decided that was an irreconcilable difference."
Cass rolled his eyes so hard he thought he'd prove his mama right and get them stuck like that. "You're really gonna try'n lie to me, Uncle Sam? He's stealing my Fig Newtons. I saw him the other night. No one else eats those except me and him."
"How is Bucky stealing your cookies from my kitchen?" Sam asked, not cool at all. His not-sneaky side eye had disappeared and now he was staring into the pumpkin like there was anything in it. "He lives in DC now."
"Oh, yeah," Cass added. He wiped his hand on his jeans and ignored Sam's half hollered objection to that. He pulled out his phone and then pulled up a screenshot from a video call. "That's the kitchen you designed, right?" he asked, showing Sam the pretty kitchen Bucky had been walking through on their call.
"Why are you face timing my ex?" Sam asked, reaching to snatch the phone away.
"I'm trying to convince him to cut his hair." Cass kept his phone out of Sam's reach. "And! And-- and that's your head, isn't it?" he added, sliding to another picture and zooming in on a blurry spot over the back of Bucky's couch. He scooted a step away before showing his phone this time.
"Since when do you talk to Bucky on the phone?"
Cass scoffed as he locked his phone back. "I've been talking to Bucky on the phone since the first night he stayed here," he said. "He used to sneak AJ and me snacks after bedtime."
"Of course he did. I don't know what you think you know but you don't know it."
Cass pretended to count out the logic in that sentence and gave up. "What I know is: You and Bucky never broke up. He's still coming down to see you and you see him up in DC. You two made this house together and you made one up there together too. Which is so unfair. That's two of everything! Did you make sure there's a good climbing tree up there? When can I go see it? The house, not the tree. But, yeah, the tree too."
"You can't go see it. It's Bucky's house, not mine. I've never been there." Sam stood, setting aside the pumpkin hastily and retreating inside. "I was stealing your cookies and Bucky obviously just has a type," he said as the screen door shut between them.
Cass scrambled to his feet too, bringing both bowls of pumpkin insides with him before the squirrels could eat all of the seeds like they did last year. He struggled with the door and Sam was no help, but he did get inside. He set the bowls into the sink-- the same kind of farm sink Bucky had in his videos-- with a clatter and followed his uncle into the sun room.
"You're allergic to figs; you're not stealing my cookies. And I think Bucky's type begins and ends with you."
Sam sputtered out an indignation that wasn't actually words. He kept fiddling with his record player and Cass thought about telling him not to turn up the volume to drown out the conversation. He thought about telling him that was the same silly thing AJ did and AJ wasn't even a preteen yet and did he really want to be acting like a kid? Except, yeah, probably. Mama and Sam fought like kids all the time, even though they were always fussing at Cass and AJ to act their ages and behave.
"How come you're pretending to be broken up?" Cass insisted before Sam could get the record set. "It's not like it's gonna fool anyone. Not saying y'all were dating in the first place never fooled anyone."
Sam sighed and set the record down on the cradle but didn't lower the needle. "It's safer this way."
Cass made a face and crossed his arms. He'd turned fifteen two months ago (and there'd been a mysterious package left for him in the kitchen with a note in Bucky's old timey scrawl, imagine that) and everyone kept saying he had become a fine young man. But the old ladies from church still giggled and cooed when he stood like this and tried to tell AJ anything. 'Playing at being grown' they always said. He was really going for more of the fine young man right now.
"Safer like how it was safer for you to move back to DC after you became Captain America?" he asked. "And then you had to come back to save the day anyway?"
Sam shot him a sharp look but he didn't argue. Cass had never met his grandfather and he couldn't remember his daddy much at all, but he was pretty certain that look was down deep in the Wilson Family bones, genetic and otherwise. Still, he prodded closer.
"Do you really think neither of you are gonna go running as soon as the other is in trouble? Or that your bosses and all the other heroes don't know?"
"Cassius Adam," Sam warned.
Cass let out a huff. "I'm not gonna tell anyone. I didn't even tell AJ or mama. AJ would sit up looking for him all night of he thought he might be around."
Sam kind of flinched and Cass wasn't sure why. He hadn't meant it in a mean way. He wasn't even really being mean to AJ. It was just true. AJ was obsessed with Bucky and would search for him in every shadow if he might be there.
"Good, you shouldn't tell anyone," Sam said instead of addressing anything else more important that Cass had been talking about. "Remember how he used to play spies with you? Play spies again. You can't talk to anyone about anything he's doing. Even if it's just hanging out in the kitchen or whatever."
Cass already knew all of that. That's why he hadn't said anything. He'd been living with Captain America and the Winter Soldier for more than three years now. He knew how to handle it. It was kind of insulting that Uncle Sam didn't think he had this down pat.
"I'm not gonna spill," he said. "But you shouldn't lie either. What if something happens and mama doesn't know what to do, huh?"
"Happens with what?" Sam asked. He leaned back against the record stand and crossed his arms, a mirror of Cass, just a little to the left. "With Bucky? That has nothing to do with you, your brother, or your mama, alright?"
"No, but it has to do with you. What if you go running off to save him and something happens and you didn't tell anyone anything 'cause you're pretending like you don't like each other? Then what?"
"And you think that rescuing me is gonna be your responsibility?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.
Cass felt his cheeks heat a little. Yes, yes he did, actually. He was getting old enough for it. Elijah wasn't that much older than him when Sam first met him. "It's gotta be somebody's responsibility," he answered levelly, instead of saying any of that, cause that would just lead to a new lecture and possibly getting grounded for the rest of his life.
"It's not your responsibility," Sam corrected. "I've got grown ups helping me. Your responsibility is geometry." He pushed himself off of the record stand. The record was still on it, which Cass knew would drive Sam nuts once he remembered it in a few hours.
"If you're saving Bucky, who has your back?" Cass countered as Sam tugged on one of his curls and walked by.
"Torres," Sam answered easily.
"Nuh-uh," Cass argued. "Torres isn't an adult. You said he can't even babysit 'cause he'll let us try the wings." Cass followed after Sam back into the house and into his bedroom. He pointedly tossed one of Bucky's hoodies from the floor into the hamper.
Sam ignored him. "Just 'cause I don't trust Torres to keep you two on the ground doesn't mean I don't trust him for other things."
"That doesn't even make sense. Uncle Sam!" he whined and threw himself across the bed dramatically. He clutched the edges of the old Wilson quilt (which Sam had totally stolen from the house when he moved out) and rolled twice to wrap himself in it. "You're supposed to have backup. Bucky is your backup."
Sam pulled down the top edge of the quilt so he could see Cass's face. He sat beside him and rubbed at the approximate location of Cass's shoulder. "You're really worried about me, huh?"
"No," Cass lied. "I just don't like you and Bucky lying to us. I don't like you two being separate either. It's easier knowing you have each other's backs."
"Well, sometimes things happen and we can't have the security blanket we want," Sam started to explain, choosing his words carefully. "Bucky and I are both going to be okay, even if we aren't together. And sometimes a little bit of a lie can help. Superheroes. A little bit of a lie can help superheroes, not fifteen year olds. Bucky is running his own mission and having Captain America on his tail constantly isn't going to help him. And the same thing for me. Captain America needs a little bit of distance from what Bucky's doing."
Cass glowered and flipped the blanket over his face again. "That's lying," he insisted. "Nothing good comes from lying."
"I can't believe your mama is keeping that old phrase going," Sam sighed. "Look, can you be bribed?"
Cass lowered the blanket down again. "With what?"
"I'll let you know when he's around and it's safe, alright? You can come hang out with us if you want. You can see that we're alright."
Cass watched his uncle's face for any sign of a lie and he parsed out the offer for any possible ways out of it. Sure, Sam could say every visit was too dangerous, but Cass was pretty certain he wouldn't.
"Like spies?" he asked cautiously. "Just us?"
"Just us until your brother puts it together too," Sam agreed. "Just like spies."
After a moment of more consideration, Cass nodded. "Fine. I'll stop complaining and I won't tell anyone about it unless something goes wrong."
Sam grimaced a little (Cass knew he wanted to argue with that part about things going wrong) but he nodded too. "It's a deal."
Cass flipped the blanket over his face again and did another half roll so he wasn't facing Sam. "Can we put cinnamon sugar on some of the seeds?" he asked. "I don't like it when they're all hot."
Sam laughed a little and he sounded kind of relieved at the change in conversation. "Sweet pumpkin seeds?" he asked. "I've never tried that before. I bet we can make it work."
Yeah, Cass thought to himself, they could make this work.
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farmhandler · 1 day
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for those of you who do follow me on tumblr, you get a sneak peek... because I love you... (continued after ch9)
“Hey,” Scott said, catching Logan’s attention as he started moving away towards the stairs. Logan had agreed to stick to one of the empty conference rooms upstairs for a while to avoid startling any of the kids.
“Ugh, this guy again,” Wade muttered.
“What is it?” Logan said.
“I wanted to say I’m sorry,” Scott said. He sounded sheepish, of all things. “About you two, I didn’t—I’m not—what I said back there isn’t how I am. It wasn’t what I meant. This whole thing—”
“Scott,” Logan said, cutting him off. He raised a hand. “It’s…you were an asshole about a lot of it, but I get it. This whole situation is fucking weird for me, too. A lot has changed. I’m not exactly the same guy I was when I knew you—the other me knew you. I’d probably be worse than you are in your position.”
“Should I be offended by that?” Wade said.
Scott seemed relieved, shoulders slumping. “Good. You guys are—I mean if you’re happy, that’s—that’s good. Deadpool has caused a lot of damage, and I mean a lot—"
“Feeling slightly offended now!”
“—but clearly there’s something there most of us haven’t seen. Colossus has been pushing to include him more often. And he did complete that mission for us. So maybe there’s some hope we'll make an X-Man out of him yet.”
“X-Person,” Wade corrected primly. “X-Them, if you will.”
Scott’s head turned briefly towards Wade, nodded, then back to Logan. “I’ll see you soon. It’s…it’s good to see you, Logan.” Emotion crept into his voice. “I mean it.”
“You too, Scott.” Logan said. Understatement of the year. “I’ll see you.”
They moved upstairs to the empty conference room. Logan had suggested Wade could leave if he wanted, but Wade shot it down.
“And miss the big family reunion? Hell no!”
“I don’t think you’re gonna get to be there,” Logan admitted. “Pretty sure it’s just going to be me, at least for now. This whole thing is…fuckin’ unreal. Surreal.”
“Lame,” Wade drawled. “I did all the fucking work. I should get to be there. So unfair. What am I supposed to do while you’re gone? I want to be where the action is.”
“Yeah, well, nothing’s going to be fun about this. Probably just a lot of talking and shit. I really fucking hate this part.”
“Are you hungry?” Wade asked out of nowhere. “Because I’m starving. They said they have lunch, right?”
Logan blinked. “Yeah. Yeah, I can get you some food. There’s a chef on duty every school day. Colossus said there’d be food.”
After checking the coast was clear, they went back downstairs. Logan felt absolutely ridiculous in his yellow suit, but standing next to Wade in his red, it wasn’t so bad. They made it to the kitchen and Logan stole a few sandwiches, handing one off to Wade.
It felt so…normal. Logan hated that he couldn’t relax, that he still felt on edge, but tried to focus on Wade.
Like he could tell Logan needed the distraction, he started talking about one of the times he’d visited the mansion and destroyed something while he devoured his sandwich. Several somethings, in fact—“Just a few statues of old white dudes”—and Logan watched him, eyes lingering on the way Wade’s mouth moved with the mask rolled up. He loved that mouth. Loved Wade, even when he was doing all the shit he wasn’t supposed to do. Even terrorizing the X-Men. He fucking loved him.
“And then even though I said ‘no touching’," Wade said, pulling his mask back down, "Colossus grabs me by the throat, which is one of my biggest turn-ons, and then he—”
“Hey,” Logan said, stopping Wade in the empty hallway. He kept his ears open, but everyone was in their classrooms. “I’m gonna kiss you.”
“I’m sorry, I misheard. I thought I heard you say you were going to kiss me.”
Logan reached over and undid the back of Wade’s mask. Wade’s hands clamped over his, but Logan only rolled it up again so his mouth was exposed. He backed Wade up against the wall and kissed him.
“Well, well, well,” Wade said when he pulled away. “I never took you for a sexual deviant. In public? My oh my, Mr. Wolverine. Kiss me again and make it sloppy.”
“It’s just a kiss,” Logan said, chuckling. The chuckle turned into a laugh. He kissed him once, then twice. The third time Logan shoved his tongue in Wade’s mouth, over his teeth, tasting him, and slid his hands around the back of Wade’s neck. He felt Wade’s moan reverberate in his mouth.
That was when Wade stopped him. “Don’t look to your right,” he whispered loudly.
God damn it. Logan tapped his fist on the wall next to Wade’s head.
“And you’re just now telling me.”
“I assumed you could smell them and didn’t care, peanut,” Wade said. As Logan moved, he quickly rolled his mask back down over his face. “You should see their faces.”
“I literally do not understand this,” Scott said beside them. “Not the you and Deadpool thing—I mean I don’t understand that either—but…you’re sure you’re the same Logan? You have never smiled like that.”
“Not for you,” Logan said, turning around fully. “Word to the fucking wise for everyone here. I will not put up with the shit I heard earlier from Scott or anyone else. If I hear one word said about Wade that isn’t directly regarding his behavior, we will have a fucking problem. Are we clear?”
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tellmegoodbye · 2 days
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Hello everyone,
Happy LONE STAR DAY!!
I have a few housekeeping things to talk about before I return to our usual Music Monday format, but I know we're all excited for tonight so I will try to keep this brief.
If you would like to check out our playlist for the countdown event you can find that here.
Since we are getting new episodes now, I thought it would be a cool idea for a new way to participate in the tag. If you have a song that you relate to the new episodes, share them with us!
Please continue to refer to this post for any new Music Monday info, or if you just need a refresher on how the tag works.
Here's a quick overview of what Music Monday is for those of you who are new here. You share your songs that you relate to the show, its characters, storylines, fanfics, etc. All songs are added to their respective playlists and your explanations are added to the docs I have created for each playlist.
Reminder: Make sure to either tag me in your posts OR you can use the 911ls music mondays tag so that I can find and reblog your contributions.
Okay, now that we've got that out of the way, onto my songs for the week!
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Leave Out All The Rest - Linkin Park
I dreamed I was missing You were so scared But no one would listen Cause no one else cared After my dreaming I woke with this fear What am I leaving When I'm done here?
Don't be afraid I've taken my beating I've shared what I've made I'm strong on the surface Not all the way through I've never been perfect But neither have you So, if you're asking me, I want you to know
When my time comes Forget the wrong that I've done Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed And don't resent me And when you're feeling empty Keep me in your memory Leave out all the rest
This song is a reflection on the way we live our lives and how we will be remembered when we're gone. When I think about these lyrics in the context of Lone Star, they could really apply to any character, but Gabriel is who specifically comes to my mind for this song.
To me, this is Gabriel's message to Carlos. He's spent a lot of time reflecting on his own mistakes and has struggled to express the love he has for his son, but he hopes that Carlos will remember him as someone who never stopped trying and who always strived to be better. He didn't always get it right, but he looks at Carlos and feels so much love and pride, and he wants Carlos to know that and to see that.
Zzyzx Rd. - Stone Sour
Propped up by lies and promises Saving my place as life forgets Maybe it's time I saw the world
I'm only here for a while But patience is not my style And I'm so tired that I gotta go
What am I supposed to hide now? What am I suppose to do? Did you really think I wouldn't see this through Tell me I should stick around for you Tell me I could have it all I'm still too tired to care and I gotta go
I'm over existing in limbo I'm over the myths and placebos I don't really mind if I just fade away
I'm ready to live with my family I'm ready to die in obscurity 'Cause I'm so tired that I gotta go
This is a song written from the perspective of someone struggling with addiction. The narrator addresses his loved ones with a sort of brutal honesty about his feelings towards life, but it's also a song about love and support at the same time. It's about someone who is there for you even when you're in your worst moments and can't see a way out.
This song reminds me of TK and Owen in s1. Owen is ready to do whatever he has to do in order to help TK, and TK lets him in as much as he can, but these lyrics are also an realistic viewpoint on the state of his mental health in the aftermath of his suicide attempt. He knows Owen loves him and is there for him, but he still needs to find that healing outside of that support.
Impossible - Nothing But Thieves
Love, it stings and then it laughs At every beat of my battered heart A sudden jolt, a tender kiss I know I'm gonna die of this And that's because
I could drown myself in someone like you I could dive so deep I never come out I thought it was impossible But you make it possible
I'll take the smooth with the rough Feels so fucked up to be in love Another day, another night Stuck in my own head but you pull me out You pull me out
I really hit y'all with a couple angsty gems today, so I should probably round this post out with a more upbeat song. This song screams Tarlos to me, and reminds me of the early days of their relationship where everything is new and overwhelming, but it also just feels right at the same time. They've come to that realization that what they have is something special, and that they might have found their soulmate. Before they met, such a notion felt impossible to them.
@strandnreyes @lemonlyman-dotcom @bonheur-cafe @heartstringsduet @herefortarlos
Tags!
@eclectic-sassycoweyes @literateowl @carlos-tk @paperstorm @guardian-angle22
@ironheartwriter @emsprovisions @sapphic--kiwi @whatsintheboxmh @firstprince-history-huh
@nancys-braids @captain-gillian @alrightbuckaroo @theghostofashton @sweettkstrand
@toomanycupsoftea @corsage @certifiedflower @goldenskykaysani @reeeallygood
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junotter · 6 months
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sometimes researching for avatar redesigns has you 6 layers deep into the Japan's Meiji era allies wiki
#im trying to mess with some of the stuff that feels weird about the ways the fire nation is depicted idk#like i do not feel optically it is good for like them to be so heavily based on japan's imperialist actions#while dressed in clothes that come from places japan colonized#but i dont want it to just be solely japanese though i did draw zuko and azula in hakama but its largely cause i wanted to draw hakama#and like the only place with strong japanese influence being kiyoshi island and my own frustration with the modern day samurai depiction#i think fundamentally it isnt a choice that had as much thought as i am putting in put into it but it does raise an eyebrow for me#anyway i think keeping the thai influence is fine despite the brief invasion japan had into thailand due to thailand then allying with japa#and further allying with the axis due to allying with japan#ugh and ive been told not to think this much about it because its fiction but its also fiction so so so heavily based on real places#and when you base fiction on real cultures you fall into some unintentional pitfalls#i also fucking hate the royal fire nation robes they look so meh and the most costumey out of everything in the show#they look like heavy blankets despite being a supposedly hot nation#theres ways to have heavy robes (heian era japan) but they look like i make them out of fleece and velvet blankets#back to kiyoshi island i think the really only aesthetically japanese reference in the show being an island of noble warriors is lame#plus over done#it feels like nowadays theres a lot of people who get all whiney about people saying fire nation is based off japan#but like dude the creators in the comics and korra like go even more into the japanese influence and clearly it was the original intentions#also i do think you could do some pretty interesting world building by having say there be an older cultural influence on kiyoshi island#from the fire nation especially if the place is established as a central port area then you tie in some okinawan or even hawaiian reference#and gives an explanation that makes sense to why kiyoshi stands out from the rest of the earth kingdom you have long term cultural trading#and it establishes interesting relationships even pre kiyoshi time thereby drawing back onto some real historic references#cause for awhile ryukyu china and japan used to be this trading triangle which could explain some of these various influences going on#i think you can get a really interesting harmony when you create the fire nation out of a mix of japan and thailand#i mean both have these floating buildings due to living on some pretty wet lands and theres harmony in that mix#god i did see one person go like “fire nation is more based on china because theres a lot of red and red is important in china”#my brother in christ red is also important in japan#red is important in like many many asian cultures#i mean of course a lot of that importance stems from china and cultural exchange with china but idk kinda silly to say with your whole ches#like if you want to bring china in then the dragons are the biggest thing like sure some mythos has dragons in japan#but a lot of those comes from china in some way
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izzyspussy · 1 year
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my most abiding headcanon is that beard was abused as a kid too
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arolesbianism · 5 months
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I’ve been having a rough few days, but I’ve been feeling a bit better so I decided to make some lil thingies for some spiraling upwards kitties :3
#keese draws#warrior cats oc#spiraling upwards#I’ve posted art of ratstar and pigeonbillow before but the other three I haven’t I think#but yeah these are some more of the minkclan founders#and by that I mean two of them are and one of them was a kitten at the time#lightning is haveniris’ mom but she didn’t trust herself to raise him so her clanmates sort of collectively raised him#and by that I mean mostly pigeon and two other old ppl that aren’t included here#light did end up opening up to him more and acting as more of a mom after he chose to become a medic tho#the two have a complicated relationship for sure but they still care abt each other a lot#oh yeah and literally all of these guys are dead by the time murtle rolls around except for haven#pigeon died about two years before the other two and raincinder has been dead since before minkclan was properly founded#which is unsurprising given she’s such an old withering woman#she mostly made it that long because she was given a guide sponsor life#so long story short not all starclan cats actually get to use the cool starclan powers and those who do are usually ‘sponsored’ with an#extra life and a cool star like marking#this isn’t a well known thing tho and even within starclan only higher ranking cats rly know anything beyond knowing that every now and#then new guides are chosen#now usually what’s supposed to happen is that the sponsored cat has a close eye kept on them and if they are deemed worthy they’re allowed#to keep their mark and become a guide once they die the second time#the main flaw in this system is that the cat who sponsored them has to be the one to revoke it#so if they refuse to revoke it for whatever reason there’s not much that can be done about it#or in raincinder’s case her sponsor ended up fading before they could judge her fully#so even though by all means even the most rebel friendly guides would revoke it easily she managed to keep her mark til death#this was ofc largely helped by her living til 19 fucking years dear god woman#but hey I guess it means minkclan gets a guide even though she’s a rly shitty one#rly that mostly only matters for the sake of nine lives and the sake of travel between starclan and the living territories#which actually does cause a lot of problems when all the guides decide to go haunt a child instead#oh also guides also pass on their mark to leaders who’s life ceremony they hosted#not the guide role tho each guide gets a new mark
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avatardoggo · 1 year
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soooo i was right 🫠😐🫥 the Friend like likes me and it seems e v e r y o n e around me has known sINCE FEBRUARY
#SO 👏🏾 let’s just let it be known that i’m an Obviously Silly Clown so no one needs to tel me that ik already so i already told y’all how he#said he needed to Talk to me and i was planning on avoiding him but my friends said not to bc it’s not the Adult Thing To Do and he is my#friend and i care about him so it wouldn’t be nice so i didn’t me and my roommate went to dairy queen with him after i finished braiding her#hair so we were getting out the car to go get ready for bible study at church but then he’s all like ‘VK i need to talk to you can you pleas#stay?’ and i was like KAJDJDJFJFJJD NO but on the outside i was such a Normal Girl and was like sure :)) so we’re in the parking lot and i l#left the door open bc i didn’t want to feel claustrophobic but i lied 🤥 and said it was hot so he starts out all like sorry i made you anxio#us by prolonging this talk and i was like lol no it’s fine i was busy with exams and stuff and he just kinda gets quiet and he was like sooo#i like you and i’m like#🤔😃🫠😶🫥😧 processing#and then i was like ok elaborate and he’s like i have feelings for you so i’m SHOOK BC WOWIE ppl aren’t cowards like me cause i could never#and i say well thanks for telling me and i think you’re really brave for that but i’m sorry i don’t feel the same way but i still want to be#friends but if you need space then it’s fine as well and he’s like ya i didn’t expect anything from you i just didn’t want to regret not#saying anything so i was ABOUT TO CRY BC I HAD TO REJECT HIM BC I REALLY DONT HAVE THOSE FEELJNGS FOR HIM so i left and went home and my <3#almost exploded from my chest i was on the verge of a panic attack and i told my roommate and she was LAUGHING BC SHES SUSPECTED HES LIKED#ME SINCE FEBRUARY when he paid for my pizza and aPpArEnTlY hOw He LoOkS aT mE 🙄 WHATEVER#AND THEN I TOLD MY SECOND ROOMMATE AND SHES LIKE O YA IM NOT SURPRISED#so i’m just an oblivious silly goose who doesn’t USE HER BRAIN like kajdjdjhddjd and and now i’m thinking of the things i’ve done that made#him think i like him too like i baker him a pie for his birthday and i just feel silly and need advice if anyone has any but if not it’s fin#just an update on my life if you’re interested#vk overshares in the tags
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medicinemane · 1 year
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Just a thought about kids and electronics, is that there's a difference between doing something like giving a kid a tablet, but you have an art program loaded up for them; and just handing it to them to browse youtube with
I'm not saying you should never do that, it's just I'm saying I see people complain about kids having electronics while waiting at the doctor's office and how you should give them coloring books instead and... for me my thought is that I would use something like a tablet to basically be a mess free way to let them do coloring book type activities
Main reason I'd prefer it is then there's nothing to lose or clean up
Don't have kids, don't plan to, and I know people use electronics like babysitters
But me, I think I would give my kid something like a tablet, I'd just be picky about what I loaded up on to it and basically try and have it fill the role of coloring book, books of puzzles, blah blah blah whatever. You know, the kinds of stuff you'd want to give kids to entertain them
Of course, would be a pain in my ass cause I'd have to go through before hand and make sure that none of this stuff was running ads, that I approved of any app they were using, basically that this was a curated device that I specifically approved for the kid to use mostly unsupervised... but that's how I'd do it
Didn't want to add this on to the bottom of another post, just kind of my thoughts on it
#it would take a lot of work though; surely it would#it takes a lot of work to curate apps for myself; cause apps suck way more ass than stuff on PC and even that can be a pain#like... lets say I want to put some picture books on there for them#well I need to find a good app that can load those files#and I need to make sure it's not spraying my kid with ads; cause no fucking ads for kids#and I'd have to make sure it was just generally not malware same as I have to for me#and and and... but I think that's the way I'd do it#..at that point I'd mostly be concerned about the kids eyes; like the content is all stuff that's good for the kid... but like...#hell; even my eyes; is it good to look at screens as much as I do? and my eyes are grown#kind of need to; since most of my entertainment and socializing and education is done through my computer#but yeah... eye stuff#anyway though... I think tablets as plenty fine to give kids; and I think that having them serve roles like coloring books would is fine#...I'd consider even loading them up with videos; curated by me#but my kid would have to be old enough to use headphones and understand to use headphones and...#well that's just one more thing to lose; but I'd consider it... pick a quality kids show they liked#...not that any of this matters seeing as I don't intend to have kids#...though who knows; maybe this would be something worth figuring out; maybe it could help parents out#if I could suggest a suite of suitable apps to choose from and how to rip all the spyware and ads out of them#how to like... password protect an adblocking app just so the kid can't get in there and mess with it#that sort of thing#...anyway; just more nonsense thoughts that have crossed my mind
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mentally ill people who for whatever reason end up wearing the same exact clothing so many days in a row that it begins to disintegrate and will still not stop wearing it until it’s literally just scraps of fabric VS. those weird shitty rich people who ‘’can’t be seen in the same outfit twice’’ human dichotomy 
#poast brought to you by my pants that are missing an entire leg and completely open in the back and the front almost#to the point they could not really be considered pants anymore (I wear lots of layers so i have shorts under them but lol)#I tore them again sitting down and it made me introspect about when it's time to throw clothes out and how everyone has different standards#and etc. Like how some people will get stains on clothing and just throw it away#.where others will keep wearing stained stuff if they have an attachment to it. etc. etc.#or like One hole in jeans is okay but 20 holes is Crossing A Line - unless they were made that way as a fashion trend#which then made me think about those people who like.. change clothes multiple times a day and never want to rewear stuff#and just have a constant stream of fast fashion etc. Anyway. not a real dichotomy. just being silly. i like to think about humans behaviors#brggghghb.. still not being very productive as I just keep having flare up after flare up of various chronic issues I have so I'm feeling#sick like every few days but always for different reasons. As if something has increased the general  inflammation in my entire body#and its just bopping around making different things worse here and there. but I'm not sure of any underlying cause.#theorectially could always be stress since I am often stressed but I don't feel stressed more than usual. I have no infection markers#on blood tests and my covid tests so far have been negative. I guess my body just felt like 'hey happy new year. would you like.. uhm...#some... Problems.. as a treat? OuO''#I mean I'm lucky at this point that I don't have a condition that makes me completely bedridden or something and am grateful for that but#having so many smaller issues in the background overlapping all the time can be ehxausting and make it feel like a larger issue#because you just never get a break. once one problem clears up it's another. etc. modifying diet. supplements. doctors. new issue. new modif#ications. new doctors. new this#new that. etc. For my body to reach some sort of non-inflammed stable state I feel like I'm going to have to just be suspended in a gladd#*glass antigravity chamber for 3 years eating nothing but basic gruel and iv liquids. something so bland and so untriggering of anything#that literally nothing can be inflammed or etc. lol.. Though I'd probably still somehow have joint pain even with nogravity.#ANYWAY... I did finally edit a new sims video. for the few of you that follow my sims youtube. I have costumes totally ready to post I just#literally havent had the energy to queue up the photos. STILL WORKING ON EVIL WORLDBULDING SLIDESHOW task of  epic proportions#. other videos. other stuff. I've had to spend some time on social stuff since I really ned to get started finding friends in the potential#places I'd like to move so I know people when I get there. as it takes me like years to trust someone. but hjgh... I am so like. inherently#unrelatable to the average person. at least the avg people on friend making sites and stuff. I even made a perosnal compatibility quiz#but again.. thats something most people don't do lol... ''buhh just text snapchat me & get to know me through conversation why should i take#a 15 minute quiz up front?'' shut up. i woudl LOVE to take a custom compatibility quiz before talking to someone. its efficent. you will nev#er get it. that is a positive to me. if only anyone else did that. if only. (I'm being jokingly rude. its perfectly reaosnable for people to#have different standards and communication styles. etc. etc. lol) ANYWAY.. tldr me sleepy and feel bad no productive wehh
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spikeyjo · 2 days
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also uh im kind of not thinking about it much because its insane. but if everything goes right (and i mean a considerable amount of things that probably wont go as planned) but if they DO... i will have a major surgery in like two weeks
#vertical sleeve gastrectomy to be exact insert nerd emoji here#i might document a lot of whats going on with it and even take some videos honestly#not to share here other than some oversharing text posts about probably constipation LMAO#but like no one shares whats it like to be mentally ill and go thru vsg and like the process and not many people as young as me get it#feels weird calling myself young on the chronically 13 year old website#but anyone that does post about it posts for like a year and then falls off the face of the earth#genuinely there are so many youtubers that start talking about this stuff#then you find their channel three years deserted and its like man.#i sure hope this means you found better ways to spend your time#and like okay time to get sappy and corny as hell in the notes so go ahead and skip this part idk who even reads my notes hello#but basically everyones that gets this shit is like you gotta find your why#and most of them have kids or like a husband or plans to travel the world or do better at their job#and none of those things really apply to me#i kind of have the perfect storm for being fat#i dont do anything work wise that encourages any kind of movement#im chronically afraid of planes and i cant afford that shit anyways rn#also not very good at romance LOL and never want kids and my entire family is also fat barring my brother#thats not to absolve myself of any of the blame for this shit either like i know i put myself in this situation#i just think like wow my life is pretty much perfect for staying fat but i DONT WANT THAT#I want the highlight of my week to be more than eating takeout man#i want to live life instead of meal to meal to something better#idk what yet maybe jewelery piece to jewelery piece#i could do some serious kandi making while im down for the count#but i dunno man my therapist tells me that in order to feel like a person and not get tired of life i have to do people things and#participate in life yknow?#and its hard to do things like go to the gym talk to people explore fashion styles when i have this overloomingness of being fat#so i guess that could be my why? like i want to experience more of life#i want to be able to walk in a mall and look at all the stores. i want to walk in a mall period. cause it fucking hurts the way i am now#thats all to say the actual “why” that i have is Goddamn it i want to be able to jump from a swing#and not break my fucking ankles
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waywardsalt · 11 months
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hang on im thinking abt bellumbeck again
#salty talks#ph is a messy little game with enough wiggle room to really elevate some of the stuff it does just using what it gives us#like. i do think a lot abt what kind of stuff i personally would want to see in a ph anime or some other long form adaptation#and i always love the idea of specifically making sure to make it so that a LOT of the stuff with linebeck feeds into bellumbeck#like. make it really hurt slowly build up to it make it so much that his arc his development his feelings it all gets tangled in bellumbeck#idk i like bellumbeck i like the potential it has for linebeck n the potential is has to have to do with a lot of stuff throughout the game#screwing around with linebeck and bellum in aus is fun too bc it helps me figure out different facets to this too#esp when i choose to go at bellum more as a sentient character and all of that#anyways on the topic of like what happens directly after bellumbeck#the general idea i have is that it leaves linebeck knocked out (or smth) for a few days afterwards#as well as leaving him kinda just wounded all over (yknow the one agreed upon back scar but some other stuff in other places)#(idea is that hes very much in danger of death those few days vague idea is that link comes across him n keeps an eye on him til he wakes u#and when he does wake up hes very sick and weak (bottom line is that his body is treating it like a virus)#(trying to kill and expel and just fucking get rid of anything left in his body from the bellumbeck thing)#ofc he lives (this is notable) and has scars n shit (not certain on lasting effects tbh working on that)#one thing that comes to mind is weaker immune system but he already has a garbage immune system i think#could be some general immune system issue#i do try to make it closer to like. sickness or a physical ailment as opposed to magic crap#ive halfway considered making it so thst he kinda benefits from surviving (like some weird practical aftereffects#what comes to mind other than that is lasting pain in or pain caused by straining his back or smth#ive tried looking up real lifr long term effects of larger scars but i hardly find what im looking for#eh im still brainstorming that kinda stuff. i def am gonna hsr the ideas of lasting pain or pain in straining his back tho#like in the time after recovering he spends a fair bit of time testing how and how far he can stretch or strain his back#and trying to build up a resistance and like train it back up or smth but otherwise maybe a new vulnerability to like. light magic#brainstormin just thinking abt it theres a lot to thiink abt with bellumbeck#oh yeah edit on the thing abt linebeck surviving think of it like its rabies. on all accounts he should fucking die but he makes it
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