#could it be the change of url??? maybe but like... there's other users with “fuck” in url

[eldrichthingy]

So, hello :') It's very unexpected for me and I have no idea what to do now, but basically: I was used to be @eldrichfuck666 (previously olya-occult-lover) and Tumblr deactivated my account without any warning or email and without showing me the "your account was terminated", it just doesn't let me log in and my account and everything that was posted there, is gone. For no reason at all. It happened a day ago and I contacted support immediately and I truly hope my blog goes back to me, but if it's not - every single ask, draft and edit I've done (besides for maybe, a few of them I still have on my PC) is gone.

It's really crushing and all I can hope for is that it goes back to me. I lost everything I had from March, basically and I miss my mutuals so much- :'( I wanted to say that I'm okay and I missed you all so much and I truly hope that I'm not bothering you with this, you're very free to ignore it, but! If my account doesn't get back to me - I'll be trying again, with this one, hopping nothing happens to it. I love you all and I hope I won't annoy you! :') I just miss you a lot 🥺👉🏾👈🏾 I'm also so sorry for not tagging anyone, but in case you see it and recognize me - I'm really glad you're here and I hope you're doing well 💖

[goldies-cryptobitch]

Warning people in the Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss fandom of the shameless art thief @horrorlover1 (funnily enough they tried changing their URL because they got called out, I assume they don't realize that old URL @'s still take people to your updated URL 🙄) - They've been reposting people's art with the excuse of "Oh, well, I don't know where they came from, I just find them on Google UwU Credit to the artist tho lol" and when told directly where somebody's art came from, their response was to delete the replies, block the person, restrict replies on ALL their posts, and btw, STILL did not actually credit the OG artist.

So, safe to say, it's abundantly clear that this human trashpile doesn't actually give a shit about the original artists of these works. I'll be tagging all the OG artists I can find and link to the stolen posts so that y'all can report this person (I will also @ some of the well-known fandom artists who might not've been hit yet so that they know to block this person and report them if they are able. Also, I don't have Twitter, so if somebody could let the Twitter-exclusive users know of this to also report this person, that would be dope. (Maybe post in the replies if you're going to do that though, so that people can see if it's already been done and the artists don't get spammed about it.))

This art belongs to @marukmpos (Twitter link)

This art belongs to @bluestripedrenulian (dA link)

This art belongs to rinna_hel

This art belongs to Tunyeta

This art belongs to @mellemoondraws (Twitter link)

This art and this art belongs to @gensubart (dA link)

This art belongs to thatboni and @notherpuppet (Twitter link)

This art belongs to TheOGFazFilms

This art belongs to Cessy_Janea

This art belongs to cocodar

This art belongs to Sooelliee and Alkar_tar_art (whose profile SPECIFICALLY says not to repost their art btw)

This art belongs to Thea Yildirim

This art belongs to @pleasantlypony (Twitter link)

This art belongs to Serped3ra

This art belongs to @frenchiefie / @frenchiefieart (Twitter link)

This art belongs to ArtyDemon

This art belongs to SuamyArt

This art belongs to @sadelionne (Twitter link)

And some Hazbin/Helluva artists I'm tagging mostly just warning to block this person so their art also doesn't get stolen/reposted: @kandavers @smilezandmics @greykolla-art @triona-tribblescore @alymccart @noramiamere @adyophene @diabloku @applepartysins @captainsaltypear @scruplepossum (Again, I'm not in the fandom, so I don't really know who all should be tagged and I don't want to make this post crazily long, but yeah, I guess if anybody else in the fandom knows of who might wanna be given a heads up, they'd know better than me lol)

I'm not in the HH/HB fandoms, I was just shootin' the shit with a friend yesterday (the one who initially commented about crediting artists on their posts) and they mentioned this situation to me, and since art thieves like this are massive fucking shitbags that just wanna get clout off of other people's work, figured I should at least credit some ACTUAL artists. Even as an outsider I know that stealing/reposting is a MASSIVE problem in that fandom, and the art fans have got to stop letting people get away with it. Don't like/reblog from assholes like this, support the ACTUAL artists, dude. Stop letting these leeches get away with stealing from legitimate content creators.

If anybody recognizes any of the other stolen art that I might not've found the OG artists for, please let them know so that they can also report their stolen artworks.

Moral of the story: It's not that fucking hard to find the original artists of things online. Don't be a shitty art thief like @horrorlover1 and at LEAST give PROPER credit if you're going to repost something. :/

Edit: Just editing to add that I find it kinda funny how they claim I made this post to try and boost myself when I said multiple times that I'm not even in the Hazbin/Helluva fandom, lmfao. Like, who tf you think I'm boosting myself to??? I don't even make content for this fandom. Also they changed their url to @thecatgirl-luvmyrocky but the original @ link still works, too.

Editing to add their apology, but I am still keeping the post up so that people can decide for themselves if they want to block or not.

Stop reposting things with no credit, and if any artists reach out to you about taking down their posts or anything like that, then listen to them. Artists deserve respect, they deserved to be RECOGNIZED for their hard work, and not giving credit is a HUGE slap in the face to them. Do better.

[smileysuh]

NiceGuyJohnny : NCT

🌙 staring. Johnny x afab!Reader

🔮 synopsis. When you get fired, your sneaky link Johnny tells you that all your idol fuck buddies will take care of you. You don’t feel good about just taking their money, so Johnny suggests being an exclusive cam girl for your idols, and he helps you for your first session.

cw/ tw.oral (f receiving), fingering, taunting, ‘daddy’, good girl/bad girl, protected sex, BIG DICK Johnny, manhandling sex on camera, etc

👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 2.9k

🍭 aus. cam girl reader, poly idols, idols sharing a fuck buddy, dirty boy idols, etc...

☀️ mlist + an. cam room directory here - this series is covered in audio by the Kpop Pillow Talk podcast, listen here

“You know we’re all going to support you,” Johnny says, taking a seat next to you to engulf your crying form in a warm hug. He smells like Jaehyun, and you worry that maybe they’d been together when you’d called to tell Johnny you’d been fired and needed him.

“I can’t ask you guys to do that for me.”

“Support you?” Johnny laughs as if you’re being crazy. “Supporting you is what friends do.”

Except he’s not really your ‘friend’, and supporting doesn’t mean simply being ‘a shoulder to cry on’.

“You’re not my sugar daddies.”

You hear Johnny scoff. “The necklace you’re wearing would beg to differ.”

His large hand wraps around the nape of your neck, tugging at the pearls he’d gifted you when you’d originally been hired- and stolen away from the job that had allowed you to meet him and all your other idol fuck buddies in the first place.

“If you feel bad about just ‘taking’ our money then...” Johnny sighs, nosing your cheek so you look up at him, “become a cam girl for us or something.”

“A cam girl?”

“Yeah. Record it when you fuck us. I’m sure we’ll all watch, and pay tips.” He presses a kiss to your nose, wiping away your tears.

Money. Tips. Filming while you have sex. The idea is intriguing. 

“I don’t know if anyone will go for that-” You shake your head.

“Just think about it baby. You’ll be surprised.”

Johnny’s thought of everything, down to a link invite only cam room. You’d sent the url out to all the men you’d thought would be interested, telling them to simply join at ten pm, if they want to.

You wait anxiously, sitting on your bed watching the clock while Johnny messes around with the camera.

“It’s ten,” you breathe when the clock changes, signifying the start of your stream.

“Are you worried princess?” Johnny smirks, looking up at you from the camera, he’s always able to see right through you.

“What if no one comes?” you pout.

Johnny’s eyes go down to his phone. “The entire Got7 Hyung Line is already in the room. Didn’t realize you were so close with them.” Your heart leaps in your chest, eyes going to the camera.

“Hi,” you say, waving. “Fuck. Johnny, I’m so awkward-”

There are a few dinging sounds and Johnny grins. “Jinyoung says it’s cute, and he tipped you three hundred dollars.”

Your jaw drops. It was that easy? You haven’t even taken your clothes off yet!

Johnny was right about one thing, your fuck buddies do want to take care of you. 

There are a bunch of dings in a row and Johnny frowns. “Are you fucking all of Ateez?” He knows that you have fun with a few other idols, but he’s never made you clarify who you sleep with.

You shake your head. “No but I’m friends with all of them. Are they all in the room?”

“I think a few of them are. It’s hard to tell with user names. DarkHwa and Joongie could be Seonghwa and Hongjoong, which would make these other two... San? and Mingi?” His eyes continue to scan the names of people popping into the room. “Looks like a few Stray Kids are coming on too.” Johnny tells you, deeming it a good time to start. 

Johnny adjusts the computer one more time. It’s facing you, and you can see yourself on the screen, the side is covered with messages already, but the laptop is too far away for you to read them.

“Test show, right, baby?” Johnny asks. “Just a taste?”

You nod, licking your lips. You try to ignore the little green light on your computer, focusing your attention on the wonderful idol whose big brain has never once failed you. 

Johnny gets on the floor between your legs. The two of you had discussed what you were comfy doing for your first ‘show,’ and you had decided that letting him eat you out is a good idea- 

Johnny always worships you, eager to make you cum on his tongue, so you truly have to ‘allow’ him to have access to his favourite pastime. 

Yes, you decided that letting him eat you out is a good idea.

Not too exposed on camera, his head will be hiding for most of it, but you’ll get to have a good time, and see if cam-girl-ing for ‘your idols’ will be a good idea. 

“You’re so cute. Who’s shirt is this?” Johnny tugs on the bottom of the oversized shirt you’re wearing as a dress and your skin heats up.

You hadn’t realized whose shirt you’d thrown on when you’d woken up. “Jae’s?” you smile.

“Which Jae” Johnny nips at your thigh, reminding you of your promiscuous reputation, which makes you feel dirty in the best way.

“Jaehyun’s,” you clarify, “from NCT.”

“Take it off,” Johnny tells you, and you quickly do as you’re told, watching the comment section blow up- from Johnny’s jealousy towards his group member, or from your newly exposed chest, you’re not sure.

You’re naked now, having decided against panties, and Johnny softly puts one of your legs on his shoulder. 

He turns his head, kissing up your thigh, taking his time while you get a good grip on his pretty hair, but soon you’re feeling like you’re too visible.

You push your chest up, grabbing at your own breasts as your anticipation heightens.

You lick your lips, watching Johnny intently as he breathes against your pussy, making you whine impatiently in the quiet of the room. 

“Johnny, please-” the words spill from your lips, and you realize the camera is making you want to put on a show. You want to be more verbal, to slip into character, the sub that Johnny calls his ‘little cock slut’. 

You’re different with each man you’re with, each idol getting a different taste of you, and you realize that this cam show can highlight your duality.

Johnny smiles and presses a soft kiss to your clit, tongue swiping up your folds. “Fuck, you’re wet,” he muses.

“So wet,” you agree, pouting. “Need to cum, I’m so-” your words are lost when Johnny dives into your heat, wrapping his lips around your sensitive bud and flicking his tongue. 

You throw your hands down, fingers digging into Johnny’s hair and you moan, head tossed back as you bask in the feeling.

Your free hand works it’s way up to your chest again and you tweak one of your nipples, earning another jolt of pleasure that has your whines getting louder.

Johnny adjusts your legs on his shoulders, fingers digging into your thigh. His tongue continues to work magic on your pussy, Johnny is one of the best idols at oral, and you’ll swear by it with your life.

“Fuck, daddy-” You moan, falling into your sub space as Johnny works you closer and closer to your orgasm.

Johnny pulls away and your eyes snap open, you’re ready to fight him when he smiles at you. “Only good girls get to cum,” he tells you. “Are you a good girl?”

“Yes, fuck, I’m a good girl,” you tell him, hearing your computer buzz with the sound of coins, signifying donations and tips.

“Are you really?” Johnny pulls farther away from your pussy, moving his lips to your thigh again and giving the camera a taste of what your pussy looks like. “Because I’m starting to think you’re a bit of a whore.”

His words don’t hurt you, Johnny is too nice to mean what he’s saying. He enjoys knowing you fuck other guys and you know it, but this is the Mean Daddy Character he likes to slip into, and you don’t mind.

“No daddy, I promise,” you pout, grabbing at his hair again. “I’m good for you, always.” Your eyes go to the computer. “I bet they all think I’m a good girl.”

Johnny grins against your thigh. He loves seeing how easy this is for you, loves hearing the coins from the computer and knowing you’re being successful.

“Read what they’re saying baby,” Johnny says, pulling the desk and computer closer to you both before he returns his mouth to your clit again.

“Fuck-” you bite your lip and try to focus on the computer as Johnny’s tongue strokes your clit. “ValentineJae97 says ‘if you don’t make her cum, I’ll come down here and do it for you’.” A gasp leaves your lips when Johnny slips two fingers inside of you.

“Keep reading,” he reminds you.

Your pussy is practically throbbing around Johnny’s digits. “PubGMarkT says, ‘Your fingering skills match your gaming skills, could be better’.” You cry out when Johnny crooks his digits, hitting your G-spot expertly.

“Cum for me baby,” Johnny breathes, looking up at you with dark eyes before his tongue returns to your clit. 

You lean backwards, upper body still visible to the computer that watches you clamp down on Johnny’s fingers, skin tingling as waves of pleasure hit you. 

Moans leave your lips, your digits digging into Johnny’s hair and tugging to no avail, besides, you know you’ll pay for this later.

When Johnny’s finally done with you, he forces you to sit up, directing your face right in front of the camera. Then he offers you his slick covered fingers. You greedily suck them off, not worrying about being sloppy, you know the men in your chat room will love it.

“What do we say when daddy is nice to us?” Johnny asks.

“Thank you,” you breathe, looking up at him.

“And what do we say to the nice men who came to watch you?”

Your eyes shift to the camera. “Thank you.” 

You look wrecked and you know it-

The sound of coins makes your smile widen. Johnny closes your lap top.

 “Fucking Mark Tuan and Jaehyun,” he says, running a hand through his hair, then he looks at your naked body. “Get on the bed baby, I’m not done with you.” 

“Oh, you’re not?” You tease, feeling more loose with your soft dom now that the camera is off.

“You think you’re so funny.” Johnny turns and pushes you onto the bed.

You land on your back and grin up at your lover. “Yes, daddy, I do.”

“Don’t quote Nicki Minaj at me. You’ve been hanging around Ten too often.” 

“And whose fault is that, huh?” You push at Johnny’s thigh with your foot, cocking your head to the side and smiling up at him. “Now come here.” You grab at Johnny and pull him forward until he lands half on top of you.

He shakes his head at you and sits up, getting onto his knees while you wrap your legs around his waist. Johnny grabs the back of his shirt and pulls it off.

You groan at the sight. “When do you even find time to work out so much?” you ask, your greedy hands grabbing at his abdomen and gliding up to his strong shoulders as he boxes you in against the bed.

“Do you want a mean answer?” He grabs your jaw and uses his body to push the both of you up until you’re by his pillows, giving you both plenty of space, “or have you been a good girl?”

So he’s playing this game still. You suppose it’s fun, even without a camera. Looking up into Johnny’s brown eyes you find yourself smiling, “What do you think, daddy?”

Johnny laughs. “I was going to say you were a bad girl,” he admits, “but with sweet answers like that- I forgot what I was even asking you.”

He presses his lips into yours, his entire body flattening you against the bed as you wrap your legs tighter around his waist. 

Johnny’s hands find yours and he brings them above your head, pinning you by your wrists before you’re even registering what he’s doing.

Johnny slips his tongue into your mouth and you moan sinfully, pushing your hips up against his, eager now more than ever.

Your lover laughs at the way you push up against him, his free hand finding your waist to hold you down. He kisses you deeply, and when Johnny finally pulls away, it takes a moment for your eyes to flutter open. 

“Can I ask you something?” Johnny questions, and there’s a sincerity in his eyes that makes your heart hammer in your chest.

“Yeah?” You try to catch your breath, but it’s difficult with your hands still pinned above your head and Johnny’s sweatpant-clad lower half pressing against your bare core.

“Condoms or raw?”

“Fuck you Suh!” you laugh, wiggling in his grasp until he releases your hands so you can grab his face and force his giggling to end with angry kisses. 

You’d thought he had something serious to ask, and for a moment, some dark parts of your mind had delighted at the far off ideas of something more than fuck buddies or sugar baby/daddy connections with Johnny- 

“My name’s daddy, not Suh,” Johnny reminds you between kisses, but he allows you to roll into a dominant position- or what you think is a dominant position for all of two seconds - and then he’s sitting up and grabbing your throat, taking all of the control yet again.

He holds himself up with one hand on the bed, and his teeth nip at the underside of your jaw. You think he’s about to say something serious again, and then- “For real, I’m taking this as a condoms night, right?”

“Just because I hate you.” You can’t help but laugh and groan at him.

“it’s for the best, safe sex with idols is a good idea.” Johnny’s voice softens suddenly and he presses a kiss to your cheek. He tosses you down onto the bed, and you’re overcome by a wave of euphoria due to the size kink of it all and his easy ability to manhandle you.

You watch him head to his closet and fish out a box of condoms. His back is so beautiful. He’s turning all too soon- and you’re met with another gorgeous view. 

Johnny heads towards the bed, tearing the condom package open. “How do you want it, beautiful?”

You smile up at him, opening your arms. “Standard, but manhandle me a little, please?”

Johnny laughs as he kicks off his pants, sliding a condom onto his cock and getting between your legs. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

“Johnny,” you scoff, “how many times have we fucked?”

“Not this this,” Johnny rolls his eyes, “this as in cam girl stuff.” 

“Honestly?” you tighten your legs around his waist, “i think it’s great. Now fuck me? Pretty please?”

Johnny kisses you when he pushes his length into your core. 

You’re wet from all the teasing and having cum on his tongue, but he’s so big that it really stretches you out. You dig your nails into his shoulders, gasping into his mouth when he’s fully inside of you. 

“Fuck whoever you want,” Johnny kisses your nose, “but no one is ever going to fuck you the way I can.” 

“Promise?” you whimper, tightening your legs around his waist as he begins to find a fast rhythm that has you moaning with each harsh snap of his hips. 

Johnny laughs. He doesn't have to say anything else, he’s proving it. 

He holds himself over you with biceps that are perfect for biting, and when you turn to kiss one, Johnny laughs. “How far gone are you, gorgeous?”

You moan in response, clawing at his chest with your other hand while he hikes your leg higher on his hip. You remember your request to be manhandled, and suddenly, Johnny is pushing himself off of you and pressing down into your thighs, forcing them up and closer to your own chest.

He doesn’t do anything you can’t handle, and he’s trained you for this sort of thing for months (it really helps to be flexible when fucking the likes of Johnny Suh, Park Jinyoung and Kim Taehyung).

You whimper at the way this forces his cock deeper into you, and Johnny watches you with amusement. “Rub your clit for me, baby girl. Make yourself cum for Daddy.”

You suck on your fingers for a moment to get them nice and wet before bringing them down to your clit. 

You moan loudly at the pleasure that courses through you at the contact, and Johnny increases his thrusts, digging his fingers into your thighs and snapping his hips harder.

“Nipples too baby,” Johnny reminds you, eyes on your chest. He knows you so well, knows how you enjoy to have your chest toyed with. 

Johnny makes sure you have everything, and soon, you’re having one of the best orgasms of your life. 

Johnny presses his lips to yours when you cum, eating up your gasps and suckling on your lower lip as his hips force you into the mattress, his own orgasm keeping him going until you’re both sweaty and exhausted.

Johnny stays on top of you for a moment, moving his face to your chest so you can cradle his head. You’re not sure how long you stay in silence, but when Johnny finally looks up at you, his brown eyes are that pretty, soft colour you adore.

“Shower?”

You laugh, taking a deep breath. “Yeah.”

Interact with those who’ve cum before

› [nct] NiceGuyJohnny - now in server

› [got7] PubGMarkT - online

› [got7] beommie - online

› [wayv]  Lucas99 & Hendery99 - online

› [got7] TheJinyoung - online

› [bts] TaeTae - online

› [nct] ValentineJae97 - online

› [nct] HeyChannie - online

› [multi] TheJinyoung & NiceGuyJohnny - online

› [nct] Private Room - online

› [svt] GyuGyu97 & Hannie - online

› [atz] Yunhoe - online

› [

svt

] CherryCheolie - 

online

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© smileysuh — all rights reserved. reposting/modifying of any fic, reaction, or piece of original writing posted on this blog is not allowed. Translations not allowed.

[obsidianfr3sk]

true colors

@renegadesnet event 10: pride

↪ [ “But everything was temporary. And pain was one of those things. Well, except love. Everything but love was temporary. Or that was what he liked to believe.” ]

Summary: Two years after the supernova, after Tamaya notified them the gearboxes that contained the lights had gotten soaked and that she needed the money to buy more before the next day (June 1st), Simon realized they were not enough for him anymore. 

Simon wanted a bigger flag. 

No. He wanted two. The biggest pride flags he could find.

AO3

Hello, friends!! I hope you’ve been having an excellent pride month and have been eating a lot rainbow cake and pissing off a lot of conservatives with the mere fact of your wonderful existence:’) As my contribution to this month and the event organized by @renegadesnet, I decided to write a fic focused on my favorite gay dads and their sons (bc I’m me, and you should have seen this coming.) 

Before you read, I want to give a trigger warning: at the start of a fic I talk about a homophobic attack, which is not graphic or violent per se (it’s someone in the middle of the night taking away the flag they put outiside the house), and I do discuss about internalized homophobia during some parts of the story. If you read it and are sensitive to this kind of stuff, proceed with caution and take care of yourself <3

Also, this entry is a collaboration with my talented mother @healing-winston-pratt, who is going to be uploading some fanart of this in a near future, so keep an eye on that👀 she’s the best skjhkjds thank you for accepting to collaborate, I feel this is a great bonding activity and I hope we can do this more often✨

I need to update my tag list because a lot of the people who were included are not active as active as they were before/changed their URLs. But I’m going to tag @the-wee-woo-rita @lackadae @all-weather-is-bad @chiyuki-hiro bc you guys are the only ones who are still active users who I had on my previous tag list lol

With that said, I hope you enjoy this fic. I think that despite the angsty parts, it came out really fluffy and domestic, it was fun to write. And to all my queer silbings who are reading this: I am very proud of you.  

But I see your true colors shining through.

I see your true colors, and that's why I love you.

So don't be afraid to let them show.

Your true colors,

true colors are beautiful like a rainbow

Simon couldn’t remember a time when he didn’t know he was gay.

There was a time when he didn’t know he was gay, of course. He was probably too young to even comprehend the meaning behind that word. And there was also a moment in his life when he felt embarrassed about it, and sad, and angry, and really, really scared, and probably thought that no matter how hard he tried, he was never going to be happy living the life he wanted to live.

That the pain was never going to end. That he was going to be miserable for the rest of his existence, and that maybe, there was no point in existing if he was going to stay like that until the day he died.

But everything was temporary. And pain was one of those things.

Well, except love. Everything but love was temporary. Or that was what he liked to believe.

That was the reason why, the first year after the Day of Triumph, he told Hugh they should get a rainbow flag for their house. They went to one of the first stores that opened at the mall (that had just been remodeled after twenty years of being abandoned) and bought one at a not so affordable price. Simon offered himself to install it on one of the fence pillars and had to spend thirty minutes listening to Hugh telling him that maybe he should let him do it, that the ladder Kasumi had lent them was ratty, and that Simon was going to fall.

Fortunately, Simon didn’t. He did almost fall, though, when he was about to pass out from stress because seeing Hugh getting all anxious, made Adrian cry and he started to basically beg him to come down, given that now he was convinced he was going to fall, and hearing his dad saying “Look what you’ve done to the kid, Simon” didn’t help at all to make Adrian (or Simon) feel better.

That night, there was a thunderstorm and Adrian used it as an excuse to sleep on their bed. As soon as he cried himself to sleep, two hours later, after their dads did everything in their power to calm him down, hugging him, giving him kisses, and assuring him his aunt Tamaya wasn’t going to let the storm hurt them, Simon raised his hand to high-five Hugh and tell him that they were amazing parents, just to realize he was already asleep. Simon silently judged him for sleeping so soundly while his son was having a crisis instead of sleeping.

When he woke up (at five in the morning) Adrian was looking out their window, with the Baby Indomitable blanket on his shoulders. The sky was still cloudy, but it wasn’t raining anymore.

“Darling, what are you doing?,” Simon told him. “Today’s Sunday. Let your daddy and I get some more sleep—”

“The storm took our flag,” Adrian blurred out.

Hugh was already awake too. “What?”

“You said the storm wasn’t going to hurt us,” Adrian said, turning around to see them, “but the storm took our flag.”

Simon got out of bed, looked through the window...

And, yes, the flag was completely gone.

But for some reason, Simon knew it hadn’t been the storm.

“Why would the storm do something like this?” Adrian asked.

Simon didn’t know how to answer that. Luckily, Hugh did.

“Because the storm is homophobic, son.”

Adrian laughed out loud and then asked his dads if they could have pancakes for breakfast. He had already forgotten about the storm and the flag.

They didn’t. Neither of them ever forgot about it.

While Simon and Adrian ate their pancakes, Hugh went to his office because, according to him, he needed to check something. When Adrian finished his breakfast and went back to his dads’ room to watch TV, Simon stayed in the kitchen, doing the dishes, and Hugh finally came downstairs. He was pretty quiet, and Simon thought that it probably was because he had told him to eat the burnt pancakes he didn’t dare to throw away, but after he finished them all, he said:

“I lied.”

Simon threw a glance at him. “When did you lie?”

“When I said the storm was homophobic,” Hugh answered.

“Well, of course, you lied, love. Storms don’t have strong political opinions about gay people.”

Hugh didn’t laugh. “What I mean is— that it wasn’t the storm.”

Every joke Simon’s brain could come up with disappeared at that moment. So he continued doing the dishes, and Hugh, thinking he hadn’t made himself clear, continued talking.

“It was someone else. It was a person. I saw them on—”

“I know,” Simon interrupted him. “I know. I’ve always known.”

But even if Simon knew, he still told Hugh to show him the footage because four eyes were better than two (especially considering that the owner of those first two eyes needed to wear glasses). It was all useless, though; the storm made the image all blurry, and the only thing they could see was someone taking it and running away in the middle of the night.

Simon wanted to think that it was just some dumb teen whose friends had  challenged him to do it. But when it came to things like those one never really knew.

On Monday, they had promised Adrian to take him to the park that was a few blocks away so they could teach him how to fly a kite, but the thought of going out made him feel as if something bad was going to happen to them if they did, so Simon told Adrian that he and Hugh were feeling sick and that they would stay in their room to get some rest. Adrian asked them if they minded that he stayed there too because he was in the middle of watching a movie he had never seen before.

“Only if we can watch it with you,” Simon answered.

It was a weird day to be alive. They really just stayed there, watching silly cartoons with their kid and listening to him ranting about the weird proportions those characters had.

During the afternoon, Adrian told them he was hungry, so Simon went downstairs to look for something they could eat. He was thinking that maybe they should order something from that Chinese restaurant Tamaya had taken him the other day, when Hugh entered the kitchen and told him Adrian had  asked him if he could bring him water.

Simon felt his hands were trembling while he looked inside his wallet for the paper where he had written the restaurant’s phone number.

“Do you want to get another flag?” Hugh asked him.

And something hurt.

Something hurt inside of him. Something started to cry, and to scream, and to flicker, trying to make him invisible to the world.

And it told him, the same way Adrian had told him he was hungry, that someone had taken him by surprise and made a deep cut on his chest.

But Simon didn’t allow it to come out.

He just said: “No.”

And Hugh answered him: “Me neither.”

He called the Chinese restaurant to order some food, while Simon went to their room with Adrian again and cuddled with him, trying to tend to the wounds of that something that was bleeding out inside of him.

Little Simon was crying, and screaming, and flickering, and needed adult Simon to take care of him.

The next day, they talked about the incident with the rest of the Council during their lunch break. It was one of those few occasions the six of them were together in the same room during their work hours. Tamaya was furious about the flag situation. She ranted for a good five minutes without anyone interrupting her about how fucking horrible people were and that she was going to find that little piece of shit and cut his hands off. Kasumi nodded in approval while drinking some horchata she had bought for herself, probably thinking about how to ask Tamaya to let her join her revolution (something she didn’t need to do, since Tamaya always included Kasumi in everything she did). Evander, on the other hand, was very quiet, something that made him feel a little bit relieved because he was not a sensitive person and Simon didn’t want him to... Evander  the situation.

He didn’t say anything insensitive that day, though.

In fact, he said something… helpful, even.

“What about a flag made of light?” 

Hugh rubbed his eyes and Simon knew what he was going to say before he opened his mouth.

Because he said that phrase constantly.

“Shut the fuck up, Evander.”

But Evander didn’t shut up. “Dude, think about it. No one would be able to take down a flag made of light.”

And everyone realized that, now, it was not only one of those strange occasions when the six of them got together to have lunch during their work hours; it was also one of those strange occasions when Evander had an idea that was actually good.

So after spending another hour discussing how they were going to make it work, they decided they were going to lit up the building in rainbow-colored lights.

Tamaya and Hugh were the ones in charge of almost all the operation because Evander said he had already given them the idea, so he didn’t need to do anything else (and then got mad at Hugh when he told the media he was the one who came up with it). Kasumi helped them, but was especially insistent about putting a trans pride flag somewhere in the building, and after they agreed with her, she personally hung it on the main entrance of Headquarters.

They started turning the lights on each night of June since that yeat.

Hugh and Simon still didn’t get a flag. Three nights after they told their friends about what had happened during the thunderstorm, Simon was woken up by the sound of someone crashing against the trash cans and almost jumped out of the window with his dagger  on hand to slay whoever was trying to break into their house, but when he peeked out to see what was going on, he realized the “robber” was Kasumi, who had put a bunch of small pride flags on some pots they kept on their porch and started crying as soon as she realized Simon was watching her, not because she was upset the surprise she had for them had been ruined, but because now she was covered in trash.

(That week was like a sign Georgie was sending them from the afterlife to tell them they needed to install a better security system.)

Those were the only flags they kept around the house. They were small and discreet, and, most importantly, no one had taken them away. Why? Well— because they listened to Georgie’s sign and installed a better security system. Not because there weren’t any more homophobes out there who were willing to do it.

Until that moment, those flags (the little ones Kasumi had given them in a rather unconventional way and the one made of light that Evander had come up with) had been more than enough for them. But, two years after the supernova, after Tamaya notified them the gearboxes that contained the lights had gotten soaked and that she needed the money to buy more before the next day (June 1st), Simon realized they were not enough for him anymore.

Simon wanted a bigger flag.

No. He wanted two.

The biggest pride flags he could find.

 ***

That was the reason why, after having pancakes for breakfast (because it had rained during the night), he took the car, took the other three people living in that house with him, and after he was able to read the map, they arrived at a store that, among other things, sold flags like the ones they were looking for.

“I want one too,” Adrian told them when they were at the flag section of the store. “For my room, you know. And I want to get ones for Danna and Nova because I don’t think they have any. They would’ve told me.”

Usually, when Adrian asked for something Simon hadn’t agreed to buy him, like some candy, an action figure, or a pair of sneakers, he would turn around and ask him if he had the money to buy any of those things himself, which would anger him so much he would stop wanting that certain thing.

But that day, he felt like buying them everything they wanted. As if money grew on trees (something he always told his kids didn’t happen.)

“Of course, darling,” he answered, “get them everything you want. It’s pride month.”

“It’s May 31th,” Max said. He was inside the shopping cart Hugh had grabbed the second they entered. It was something he always did, even if they weren’t going to buy a lot of things because, according to him, it felt weird and wrong not to.

“It’s almost pride month,” he corrected himself.

“So can I get something for Nova?” Adrian asked again, just to make sure.

“You can get something for Nova,” Hugh assured him, smiling a little bit.

Adrian quickly turned around and started looking for the flag he wanted while texting Nova about something Simon couldn’t read (not like he was trying to, anyway).

After making sure Adrian stayed on the same aisle as them, they started walking around, gazing at the flags and posters available. Simon felt pretty progressive because he was able to name every single sexuality and gender they were supposed to represent. He imagined Hugh was doing the same thing, but with a lot more difficulty than him. He kept his eyes fixated on each flag longer than Simon did, as if he were trying to remember what they meant, and when he did, he pushed the cart (with Max still inside of it, playing a game on Hugh’s phone because he had forgotten his tablet at home), and the cycle began again.

But suddenly, Simon saw ones that he didn’t recognize.

After three seconds of standing in front of those little flags, someone hit him in the butt with their cart. He turned around immediately, ready to say a really threatening “Hey” to whoever had done it.

Hugh was the only other person who was there. He had been the one who had hit him with the cart.

Suddenly, Simon felt a little bit stupid for thinking someone else had done it.

The two of them maintained eye contact for a couple of seconds until Hugh started looking at his own hands grabbing the cart’s handle.

“Simon.” Before Simon could ask him what happened, he added, with a deep voice: “Move.”

Simon didn’t move. Instead, he hit the cart with his hips, just out of spite. Hugh hit him again with it, making Simon feel the unexpected need to grab the cart with his two hands and use his own weapon against him, but Max was there and they couldn’t act like kids in front of him. So he just hit the cart with his hips again, a little bit harder than the first time, and left it there.

He realized he was just going to be wasting his time asking Hugh if he knew what that flag was supposed to represent.

“Cherub,” he called Max. “Do you recognize this flag?”

Max looked up from the screen. He usually didn’t like it when he called him “cherub” in public, but this time, he didn’t seem mad about it. “Um… no? Ask Adrian—” and continued playing.

Adrian came back with a basket full of pins, and for a second, Simon almost asked him if he really was that naive to believe he was actually going to pay for all of them. But then, he realized that it was only the basket where they kept all of the pins they sold and that Adrian had taken it to show them to them.

“Look, they have so many pins here—” he started taking random pins “—this is the aromantic flag… this is the genderfluid flag—”

“Interesting,” Hugh interrupted him, “but which flag is that one?” and pointed at the one Simon didn’t recognize.

Max took a random pin from the basket and started looking at it with curiosity. Adrian almost didn’t pay attention to it, and after a few seconds, he said: “That one’s yours.”

Simon frowned and took one. It was a handheld flag with green and blue stripes, with a white one in the middle. He touched the polyester with his fingertips as if that was going to give him the ability to communicate with it.

“But we don’t have a flag,” Hugh told Adrian. “I’ve heard of the lesbian fl—”

Adrian took a pin of the lesbian flag. “This one.”

“Yeah— but gay men don’t have one.”

“The rainbow is ours,” Simon said, without taking his eyes away from the blue and green flag he was holding. “Like, it’s for all queer people.”

Hugh directed his attention to Adrian again. “You’re messing with us.”

“I do mess with you a lot,” Adrian admitted, “but this time I’m not because if I do and you get mad, you won’t buy me all the stuff I want to get.”

“Huh.”

Simon knew Adrian and Max were a lot of things, but "dumb" wasn't one of those. And Adrian was especially intelligent when it came to convincing his parents to buy him things.

So he decided to believe him.

“Well, I like it,” he said. Then, he asked Hugh: “Do you like it?”

Hugh grabbed one and observed it for a while. “I like that it has blue on it,” he finally answered, nodding a little bit.

Simon noticed Max was spacing out while playing with the pin he had taken, so he waved the flag on his face, making him laugh and sneeze because the damn thing had a lot of invisible dust Simon didn't notice at first.

“Oh, sh—”

“You know? Maybe we should get two of these,” Hugh said, waving it too, but in his case, not on the face of one of their kids. “For our offices.”

“Matching flags, very romantic.”

Max rubbed his nose. “Why don't you get a big one for the house?”

Simon quickly started to look everywhere on that aisle, and he saw a lot of big versions of the flags he had recognized before (and some of the ones Adrian had mentioned), but there were no gay flags in sight.

“Maybe next year, I guess,” he shrugged. “I don't think they have them here yet.”

He grabbed two of the rainbow flags that were there, inside their respective plastic bags, gave them to Max, and he put them on his lap, still holding that pin. Simon made a quick mental note to remind his future self they needed to pay for that (he didn’t know if it had to with the fact that Max had been spending a lot of time with Maggie, Nova’s sister, but he had developed this weird habit of stealing the most random objects one could think of. Luckily, he limited himself to stealing things from his dads and, one time, from a store.) (Kids went through weird phases when they were Max’s age.)

(Because… it was a phase, right?)

Adrian received a text. “Danna says that she already has a flag, so I’m getting her a pin,” he said after reading it. “And Nova says she wants one too.” Then, his whole face lit up. “And I could get one too so we match.”

“Copycat,” Simon accused him, jokingly. “Your dad and I got matching flags, and now you want to get matching pins with your girlfriend.”

Hugh shook his head, disappointed. “I cannot believe you have betrayed your own family like this.”

They stayed at the store another 30 minutes to buy some other things they needed for the house, and from time to time, when he or Hugh grabbed something, they pretended they didn’t see Adrian and said: “Um, but the copycat may be listening” to a point he told them to stop, and refused to forgive them until they agreed to buy him the flag he didn’t intend to get anymore, but now was going to.

He got the last bisexual flag there was at that store.

 ***

The first time the four of them were together in their room was last June. Something went wrong with the A/C system of the entire house and the only room where one could stay without having a heatstroke was theirs because their A/C hadn’t broken down for some reason. Adrian and Max were sleeping on the air mattress until Simon (who hadn’t been able to sleep lately) heard that one of them woke up and asked Hugh something. He sat down on the bed, at the same time Hugh moved a little bit to allow Adrian to lay down between the two of them.

Then, in the middle of the dark, his eyes met Max’s.

He looked tiny. Young. Pretty young.

And far away.

Simon couldn’t remember who did it. He didn’t remember who talked that night. It could have been him, even. But he was sure that, at that moment, someone whispered:

“Get in here, kid.”

And Max obeyed. He crawled, raised his arms towards them, and Hugh grabbed him carefully by the collar of his shirt and placed him between him and Adrian.

It was a peaceful night. The bed was big enough for the four of them, and Simon was able to sleep and actually rest for the first time in weeks.

At least until their A/C turned off with a weird sound, and the four of them woke up at the same time, sweaty, uncomfortable, and almost at 11 AM, not because they weren’t necessarily willing to stay there longer, but because the heat was starting to get unbearable and suddenly the bed was too small for three adults and a little kid that was not that little anymore.

“This isn’t a room, this is a— a freaking oven,” Hugh said, while Adrian tried to push him out of bed to get the hell out of there and seek comfort on the air mattress he had abandoned in the middle of the night.

“And we are the... cookies,” Max giggled.

“The turkey,” Simon added.

Max turned around. His whole face was red and his hair was a little bit wet. “The lasagna.”

Simon grabbed him by the cheeks; a discreet way to check if he had a fever. “The cake.”

“The ham.”

“The—”

“Dad. Move.”

Later that day, Simon called someone to fix the A/C, and that was the end of the story.

When they arrived at the house, Adrian wanted to hang his flag as soon as possible, on one of his room’s walls, but Simon insisted that they should iron it first so it looked nicer. Hugh said that he was planning on ironing the ones they had bought for the house and offered Adrian to do the same with his, but when he insinuated that he didn’t trust him enough not to mess up his flag the same way he had messed up his favorite shirt (the one he wanted to wear to take Nova to a nice place during her birthday), Hugh reminded him that the only reason he kept doing that for him was that Adrian didn’t know how to iron yet, and decided that he was going to use that moment as a teaching opportunity. Max made the mistake of laughing at his brother when he thought no one was paying attention to him, but Adrian was and dragged Max into the teaching opportunity with him.

Simon joined too. Just because.

And suddenly, the four of them were in their room again.

With the A/C on, of course.

He didn't know if Hugh had noticed, but he had been so invested in his own explanation, that after he finished ironing the two rainbow flags, he started ironing Adrian’s without realizing it. Adrian, instead of giving up and stop pretending he was paying attention, was looking, kind of mesmerized, how he opened the bag of his blue, purple, and magenta flag, and proceeded to put it on the ironing board, now telling him that when Georgie had tried to teach him how to iron his clothes, she accidentally burnt Evander.

Simon was half-listening to the story, half-listening to the music video that Max was watching on the TV. He was sitting on a big and old ottoman they had bought a long time ago but had never found the perfect place to put it and just stayed there for years until they forgot about it. Max was in front of him, sitting on the floor and resting his back on the ottoman, while he covered his blond hair with small butterfly hair clips he had found at the store and bought just because he thought they were cute (who knows, maybe Nova wanted them for Maggie, or Kasumi could use them for herself, she loved them when she was little).

When all the hair clips were on Max's hair, he took a small mirror they kept in the bathroom (but Simon borrowed it for a minute) and gave it to him so he could see the final result.

“Look at me,” Max exclaimed, laughing. “I look so pretty.”

Simon grabbed one of the hair clips and pulled it a little. “Butterfly hair clips are a popular trend this time of the year.”

“This is definitely going to make me the most popular kid in the playground.”

“Definitely.”

He leaned forward to start taking the butterfly hair clips off Max's hair and was putting them on Max’s open hand when he noticed that he hadn’t let go of the pin they bought him at the store.

(Simon did remember to pay for the thing, but if he hadn’t done it, Max wouldn’t have said anything.)

“That was really nice of you,” Simon said.

Max looked at him, confused. “What?”

“Getting a rainbow pin—” he took his other hand and started putting the hair clips on it so none of them would get lost “—to show support.”

Max didn't say anything and Simon continued with what he was doing. After the music video finished, and another one started playing, Hugh gave Adrian his flag and told him he could go and hang it in his room, and as soon as Max heard that too, he gave Simon the hair clips and followed his brother out of the room, asking him if he could help him with it.

Simon, after realizing the bag where the hair clips came in had been destroyed by Max punching holes in it with the pin, took one of the empty pill bottles he kept in his drawers and put them there.

He closed the pill bottle and realized Hugh had been gazing at him during all this time, slightly leaning on the ironing board. “What?”

“That’s my pill bottle, Si,” he told him.

“Ah—” Simon pressed his lips “—can I have it?”

“No.” Hugh smiled at him. “Yes, you can.”

“So funny. Come here—” and patted the bed mattress.

Hugh, being extremely careful not to touch the flags he just ironed, lied on the bed and sighed.

“Do you want me to play with your hair?” Simon asked him with a soft voice.

He closed his eyes and nodded.

After a while of the two of them just being silent, he said, “Hey… I heard what you told Max, by the way.”

“The butterfly hair clips trend?”

“The pin thing.”

“What about it?”

Hugh opened his eyes, just a little bit. “Just don't tell Max I told you, all right? Because he told me he wouldn't tell anyone else until he was sure, but… I think it's important the two of us know,” he explained.

Simon was starting to feel his palms get a little bit sweaty. “Okay— but just tell me, please.”

He checked overhearing their conversation one last time, and that the kids were still at Adrian's room. “Max told me a couple of days ago that he has been thinking about… what he likes.”

He stopped playing with his hair for a second. But then, he continued.

It was his way of coping with the feeling of his stomach twisting inside of him. “What he likes?” Hugh nodded again. “Huh. And has he— does he has an idea or—”

“No, he doesn't,” Hugh answered. “He just knows that he doesn't like girls. Or that's what he told me.”

Simon raised his eyebrows and scoffed. “That sounds like a lot of things. Not liking girls.”

Hugh scoffed too. “That's what I told him. And that he can take all the time he needs to figure it out. Because he can—”

“Yes. Yes, of course, he can,” Simon assured, with determination. “Life is longer than we think it is.”

They stayed silent again. And Simon couldn’t help but feel relive inside his head the moment he called Max an ally, feeling his stomach twisting even more at every second it passed.

“I feel bad.”

“Why?”

His palms started to sweat again. “Because I called him an ally.”

“It’s all right. You didn’t know.”

“I shouldn’t have assumed anything.”

“You didn’t know,” Hugh repeated.

But Simon didn’t listen. “Si.”

Then, Hugh grabbed him carefully by the wrist, and, a little bit surprised, Simon tilted his head. Hugh usually didn't interrupt him when he was playing with his hair.

“What's wrong?” he asked.

“No, what’s wrong with you?” he deadpanned

Simon knew him well enough to know he wasn’t trying to be rude. It was just his way of asking things. Especially when he was genuinely worried and didn’t think about modulating his tone so it It fitted the situation better.

He sighed. Because he didn’t want to lie to him. “I assumed Max was straight.”

As soon as he said it, he realized how silly it had sounded phrased like that. But he also noticed his voice had broken and he had to put a hand on his mouth so he didn’t start crying.

And Hugh, instead of saying the encouraging phrase he expected him to say…

He smiled.

And for some reason, that made him want to cry even more. “Ew, why are you smiling?” he asked.

Hugh took his time to answer him. “Oh, it’s nothing.  I think I'm just… happy.”

“Well, I’m not.”

Hugh smiled more. “I know, love, I know… It's just one of those things…” he tried to find the right words this time. “One of those things I didn't think we were going to go through together,” he kept saying. “Like… we're going to be together when Max finally discovers who he really is. Like we did with Adrian. And like other people did with us. And that makes me happy.”

Simon wanted to tell him to shut up and let him cry and be dramatic as much as he wanted because he considered he deserved it. But he tried to do it, the only thing that could come out of his lips was almost imperceptible “Yeah…” and then, a small tear started running down his face. Hugh quickly noticed this and wiped it away with his finger. Simon scoffed and looked away, rubbing his nose.

“Hey…” and he moved aside so Simon could lay beside him.

The space they had was a little too small but he didn’t mind because now he had an excuse to be closer to him.

And there it was again. Little Simon. Little Simon was there again with them.

Just that this time he wasn’t crying, or screaming, or even flickering. He was just… existing.

And all he wanted to do was to exist.  

When Hugh held him that way, sometimes he felt as if it was the first time he did it. Which made Simon (and the sad, angry and scared part of Simon) wonder if there was a sad, angry and scared part of Hugh that also craved that comfort and validation, and if it was the one who hugged that younger version of Simon until they convinced each other that everything was fine.

That there was nothing wrong with neither of them.

Because sometimes it was as if people didn’t remind them that as many times as they needed. So the only option they had was to be there for the other, and tell him that it was okay to hug, to kiss, to touch, and to share until the one who was talking ended up convincing both of them.

Love wasn’t temporary.

And their love was as powerful as they wanted it to be.

Those younger versions of themselves wanted to stay like that forever every single time. But their adult versions knew they couldn’t do it because they had other responsibilities that they needed to attend.

Installing those two pride flags that were next to them, for example.

Their younger versions were excited to do that, but they also asked them if they could rest together a little bit longer. And neither of them had the heart to tell them no.

Hugh started to play with a lock of Simon’s hair. “We’ll be there to catch him.”

He knew he wasn’t talking about either of them. Even if, with his eyes closed, he could see little Hugh and little Simon holding each other’s hands and throwing themselves into the world, a little less sad, and angry, and scared than before, without being sure if there was going to be someone down there to catch them if everything went wrong.

“Together.”

And Simon agreed. “Together.”

 ***

“He’s going to fall.”

Simon rolled his eyes.

“No, he’s not,” Hugh told Max. “I’m here.”

“But what if—”

“Done,” Simon announced before Max could even finish his sentence. “Now, let’s just hope these things stay there as long as possible, because this ladder makes me anxious. I was trembling while putting the first flag.”

Max clicked his tongue. “It’s a windy day. The wind could have pushed the ladder or something.”

Now it was Hugh’s turn to roll his eyes. “Take my hand.”

Simon went down the ladder without letting go of his hand. Then, while Hugh took it and quickly went inside the garage to put it there, Adrian pricked his little brother up with his own rainbow flag pin, and in response, Max punched him in the stomach with all his might (which wasn’t that much). Adrian laughed and pretended to be hurt, but immediately asked him if he wanted him to help him with his pin.

Simon noticed that Adrian had already put his pin of the bisexual flag on his clothes, and watching him pull Max a little bit closer so he didn’t prink him again (now by accident), while Max gazed at his hands, trying to memorize his movements so he could do the same thing when he wanted to wear that pin again, made his mouth curved into a smile.

When his husband came back from the garage, he thought he was going to tell them to stop blocking the sidewalk and get in the house so they could continue with their day. But instead of doing that, he walked towards them and looked at their waving flags, flying on their mansion for the first time in years.

Adrian grabbed Max by the waist and carried him on his shoulders so he could have a better view. And he realized that there would be a day when they would throw themselves into the world completely alone, without knowing how people were going to act and aware that two of them were brave enough to take whatever blows that they were going to throw at them.

But they weren’t going to do it alone. Because Hugh, Simon, and their hurting parts weren’t going to spend a day without reminding them that they were going to be there, ready to catch them every single time they needed it.

Simon started to look for Hugh’s hand just to realize, Hugh was already looking for his too, and when they found each other, he couldn’t contain himself and stood on his tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek. Then, Hugh smiled and kissed him back, this time, on the corner of his lip.

Simon felt proud of what they were.

He was really proud.

And he hoped they were proud too.

[florencesmachine]

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Why tumblr user donottearmedown/luciequeenofelfame/luciehvrondaie is an embarrassment: a Masterpost

Hi if you’re here it’s because you’ve heard that tumblr user donottearmedown is an embarrassment and you’d like to know all the details! Let me break it down. It all started with this post by @minacarstairs (Tessa (yes @minacarstairs’s name is Tessa sorry if that makes this post confusing)), in which donottearmedown originally reached out to Tessa by sending her something along the lines of “Do you ship heronstairs/herongraystairs?” And Tessa replied with something along the lines of “Yeah lmao herongraystairs rights!”

(I wanna note that Tessa was being very polite, and continues to be very polite to people who disagree with her opinions on heronstairs/herongraystairs. She even began her original conversation with dont tear me down by saying it’s a matter of personal interpretation :) it’s donottearmedown who made the conversation mean-spirited)

(Also Tessa pls correct next if I’m wrong on any of this thnx)

And then sometime later, the conversation above ensues in which donottearmedown, seemingly perfectly reasonable at first, disagrees with the ship and offers a link to look at. (She throws this link around any chance she gets. She really fucking loves this link.) I got involved because in her answer, Tessa replies back with a link from a post I made from my own blog starting back in 2018, and then continued to add to it until my account got terminated (long story). You can read through both posts and check out all the replies! But basically we realized during this interaction that donottearmedown wasn’t looking to have a friendly conversation and was, in fact, batshit crazy. They were saying some absolute brain dead shit like that people shipping heronstairs is the same as people shipping Alec x Clary. Here’s the screenshot:

donottearmedown came back the next day to reply on several of Tessa and mine’s post which she wasn’t even tagged in, such as this one, and this one that had absolutely nothing to do with her because I make that same post every year. Here’s a screenshot from my old account last year via Instagram:

(there are more posts she replied to but I can’t be bothered to look for them, I’m sure you can find them on their blog if you can spare the braincells)

Racism by donottearmedown:

So, Tessa received this anon which tipped us off to some of the other tomfoolery on donottearmedown’s blog. We decided to look for ourselves and lo and behold, here’s the post of donottearmedown accusing Cassandra Clare of having a “Chinese kink” for writing Jessa:

Which, first of all, makes no sense because there’s like 2 Chinese characters in TSC total. If anything CC has a straight white boy kink lmao. But by saying this she was basically implying that the ONLY way Tessa (book!Tessa), or anybody who loves Jem, can love him is if they have a “Chinese kink”. Which donottearmedown can’t seem to be able to understand is an incredibly racist thing to say and think.

They also reblogged this BLM link and proceeded to tag it with absolute nonsense like “#smoke weed #lose weight #wessa”. I don’t know if her intentions were to mock the BLM movement but I still found this to be so incredibly disrespectful and tone deaf.

I also feel like I should mention this ask sent to Tessa in which donottearmedown implies she ~could be~ Asian, but it’s “none of her business anyways” (as if being Asian would absolve anyone of being racist akjsksjsj), but based on the fact that she has a track record of lying and pretending to be a person she’s not (as you will soon see :)) I call bullshit lmao:

I think that was the last of our interactions until today? Tessa and I were distracted because we have, you know, real lives.

But anyway, that brings us to today.

donottearmedown started replying to posts from mine and Tessa’s blogs which she wasn’t tagged in, again, and made several days ago. This one literally wasn’t even about her, it was about someone else that had engaged with one of Tessa’s posts. I made that post over a week ago and had already forgotten about it, but clearly donottearmedown never stops thinking about us 😳

NOW I WOULD LIKE TO POINT OUT THIS POST SPECIFICALLY.

Why? Because donottearmedown and luciequeenofelfame (now luciehervndaie) interacted on this post, as 2 seperate entities. luciequeenofelfame had also interacted with Tessa and I’s original posts at the beginning of June (you can check the replies on the posts!) coming to donottearmedown’s defense, and praising her for her opinions and other shit like that.

Here’s the screenshot. As you can see here, luciehervndaie reblogs from donottearmedown and adds on to their opinion:

Now here’s the kicker: donottearmedown and luciehervndaie are the same person.

As in, this bitch literally made up a second blog so that she can pretend to be someone else agreeing with her own opinions and cheering herself on.

Here’s the proof:

I made this post calling out donottearmedown on their racism. I didn’t bother tagging her in the original post because I knew she was stalking my blog and would see it eventually anyway. 😌 And they took the bait, as you can see.

AND THEN I got the notification that luciequeenofelfame had replied to my post. Here’s the reply:

Now here’s where donottearmedown/luciequeenofelfame made an oopsie! 😳

Notice where luciequeenofelfame says “1. I didn’t delete it lmao”. She’s responding to my tags on this post where I’m calling out donottearmedown on her racist post, and my tags read:

“#the fact you went and deleted this post because you KNEW you were about to get slammed #comedy”

(context: @wilhelminacarstairs looked on donottearmedown’s blog recently looking for the post I screenshotted in the link above, and he couldn’t find it so I assumed she deleted it so that I wouldn’t call her out on it. Although she claims she didn’t delete it, so! Maybe it’s still up! Feel free to look for it and let me know lmao)

Now, in the tags I am obviously talking to donottearmedown, correct? So then why is luciequeenofelfame replying that she didn’t delete anything? 🤔 AND JUST AS IM ABOUT TO REPLY-

Wow, looks like I can’t reblog the post. Why? Because luciequeenofelfame has deleted it, and then IMMEDITALY changed her url to luciehvrondaie, hoping it would cover her tracks. Little does she know, tumblr notifications are forever:

As you can see, donottearmedown/luciequeenofelfame/luciehervndaie realized they made an oopsie, so she deleted her first response and posted it again from the blog she actually MEANT to post it from. Damn if only she knew that @minacarstairs @wilhelminacarstairs and I keep screenshots of e v e r y t h i n g :/ Then she might have gotten away with it! 😩

But yeah lmao here are the posts I made about it immeditaly afterwards calling her out on it because I thought it was funny: X X X X

She defends herself on some of them saying shit like “wow so I’m just making up blogs for support wessa? The majority of the fandom supports Wessa so I’m all of those blogs according to you? I’m thousands of people?!” Or just trying to change the topic back to heronstairs and ignoring the allegations altogether. Like, no luv we’re not saying you’re every single Wessa blog ever. We’re just saying you’re these 2, and we’re right lmao. If you look through both their blogs they also post about the same fandoms, and more damning, make a lot of the same spelling errors. Seriously their speech pattern is exactly the same. Feel free to look through them if you want, and if they don’t start mass-deleting post trying to cover their tracks.

BONUS:

I don’t know how true this is, but according to @fair-but-wilde-child on this ask, donottearmedown is ALSO the infamous twitter stan that complained to CC about TLH having too many gay characters.

EXTRA BONUS:

luciequeenofelfame/luciehvrondaie (donottearmedown’s second account 😌) is the account responsible for that wessa vs jessa comparison chart that went around a while ago LMAOOOOOOOO embarrassing

tl;dr: donottearmedown/luciequeenofelfame/luciehvrondaie is a biphobic racist who’s opinions are so bad she has to make a second account to agree with herself

🥺 tragic

Also I wanna say for the record, as @minacarstairs ans @wilhelminacarstairs will testify, I guessed a while ago these accounts were the same person when I noticed their speech patterns were eerily similar, and how luciequeenofelfame always seemed to reply to donottearmedown’s posts IMMEDITATELY after they were posted. 

So the lesson for today? Cinthia is always right. 😤

[rpbetter]

a vent (feel free to ignore if it's too much!): so recently i've noticed psd makers getting anon asks on whether they're ok with people who write certain topics (mostly rpf, incest, rape, underage, the usual "problematic" topics) using their recourses. now, i don't roleplay any of these subjects on tumblr, so even if a content creator said not to use their stuff, it's not even something i need to worry about - but, and maybe this is me overthinking it, what if i, someday, write a noncon fanfic on ao3? i'm still not using their resources on the subject or writing it on tumblr, but i'd probably feel weird about it, like i'm crossing some boundary. what if a psd maker whose content i've already purchased suddenly goes "actually don't use my psds if you rp abusive relationships", which is probably the closest to what people consider "taboo themes" of the things that i roleplay. it just feels like a fine line between personal boundaries and a shitty situation for a customer - not wanting to cross boundaries but already having PAID for something previously, when no such rules existed. it's making me want to 1. block everyone i see saying this, because even though i don't personally roleplay the topics above, i don't feel SAFE around people who tell others what kind of fiction they are allowed to enjoy and 2. just quit using people's resources and spend years learning to make my own psds so i won't have to worry about this shit. it's just stressing me out, as someone who has been harrassed and bullied online for speaking against censorship. i've had literal sock accounts made just to spew targetted harrassment at me on twitter. i've been accused of being a pedo and supporting incest and this is??? literally for saying "i don't think real people should be harrassed for fictional shit", i've not even shipped underage or incest ships. both make me uncomfortable. but fuck, antis make me 1000000x more uncomfortable than people who ship these kinda ships. i digress, this got rambley, i just. do you have any advice on what to do with the potential psd situation, or am i really just overthinking it? (always worried i accidentally send stuff like this off anon. help)

I need you to know that I actually had to rush-scroll back up and just double check that you did submit on anon lol! I always get worried I'll miss the one person who accidentally didn't use anon, if it makes you feel any better! When someone does submit with their URL attached, I message them first to be sure they are okay with them having it posted that way/it wasn't an accident ;) That's what I would want someone to do!

Alright, so, anyhow...

I've also noticed that becoming a more common thing and it's been on my (maybe huge) list of things to look into for a bit because I really do try to make sure I'm not just noticing things in my areas of the RPC/failing to notice things that do not impact me. Since I do all my edits and graphics, it falls into the first category for me. So, thank you for moving that up the list and informing me that it really is more prevalent and not my imagination!

My take on seeing it was a combination of business logic and anxiety, not going to lie.

On the first: charging to do a psd that is just that, just a psd file being used as a template/to act as an easier version of a photoshop "action" in a way, that's 100% legal and fine. Absolutely no muddy waters there. However, charging to do things like icons, edits, etc. that include images of celebrities and stills from movies (or gifs) is quite muddy. Legally, it's not legal. It's a thing we're allowed to do and use (on most platforms) because we're not making money off of it, we're not claiming to hold rights to the images, and so on - it's ignored but illegal. Charging money for it, however, even when phrased as "for my time" (which, absolutely valid feeling), is a more serious form of illegal and potentially attention-getting. This all gets more iffy though when we add donation instead of direct commission/purchase when working with these copyrighted materials. You can ask people to donate and suggest a donation based on your time spent, and that is always what I advise people to do.

Okay, so, that preface is necessary because the thing about stipulating use-rights is that they're iffy, too, there are variables present.

Often, these same people are charging for things like icon packs as well, meaning that even if they're only charging you for a template-style psd file sans imagery they don't own, they've kind of shot themselves in the foot. Not to mention, it's exceedingly damn hypocritical to pitch a fit about someone violating your rights when you're literally using other people's copyrighted materials lmao And that does tend to occur to me, yeah, it's a consequence of attorney friends and running businesses.

The other issues with this are that usage rights have to be stated at the time of purchase and morality clause-style shit, as pertains to products, is not legally binding.

When you purchase something like a psd file, that purchase acts as a sort of contract.

Think of like...buying a photoshop brush set - the person selling it puts very simple rules as to its use, such as: non-commercial use only, brush pack cannot be resold or distributed for free, separate brushes from the pack cannot be resold or distributed for free individually. Meaning that you own the brushes you bought, but you are not legally allowed to make real-life money from anything you use them in, and you cannot send the whole pack or files individually to friends for free or charge other people for them. By buying these, you have agreed to these stipulations of use and ownership.

If the person sells psd's and you agree to what they've stated about the use (you can't use them to do commissions you make IRL money from, you can't give them away to friends, etc.), that's binding even somewhere as casual as RP Land. The exchange of real currency makes it that serious.

However, there are limits to stipulations of use! One of those things is when you agreed - this person cannot, even one literal second, later change their terms of use and retroactively hold you to them. If they were okay with you not crediting them anywhere or using them in works you will gift others or charge others something like game currency for at the time you purchased, then that's it. Tough shit for them, not you, when they decide a month later that they want credit given where the work appears, that they do not want finished products gifted, or don't want you to make even in-game currency from them.

And that absolutely would apply to the morality wank, yes.

Except that this very morality wank comes with its own issues. Reality is not tumblr. In reality, at least in most instances and countries, you can't throw in a fucking morality clause regarding the buyer, use of item, or finished product.

Think of this in this way: Chik-Fil-A starts denying chicken and waffle fries to anyone suspected of being queer. They're legally allowed to run their business (as a private business, everything does have variables) with some things that are morally objectionable that they feel morally aligns with their religious beliefs. They're not allowed to deny queer workers a job or queer customers service, however, in accordance with overarching laws.

While "being gross" online in fiction is not like, making anyone a protected status person lol this is just an extreme example to drive home the point. Legally, when it comes to items/products be they digital or physical, your rights and responsibilities as the seller don't include your moral policing.

What your right is, is to make people uncomfortable to a degree, yeah. You absolutely can do that. You can state some nasty shit about prospective buyers you don't want. For example, they should (I mean, they should just grow up and get some real concerns, but) be stating that they would not like to see their psd's used by people on this following DNI list of idiocy, and they will block those users if possible to prevent interaction and purchase. That's really it, that's what they can do and the least immature way to proceed.

On the second: none of this logic would make me feel comfortable about interacting with them and their psd's in the future once they had outed themselves as morally objectionable and dangerous to me with this nonsense. And I would still feel anxious about using things I had previously bought because once harassed...it doesn't really go away, does it? It would just give me some ease about the latter with things I'd already made. Like, I could keep using the icons I'd made with those psd's with a little bit more comfort knowing that they honestly have not a leg to stand on outside of their harassment.

I might have the tendency to respond to harassment without much upset, but that doesn't mean I want to be harassed. Especially when I am not doing anything that draws that kind of attention. Not that harassment is warranted over anything, but when I make a PSA or answer an ask that I know is likely to get their attention and piss them off? That's an acceptable risk I am knowingly taking. When I'm just going about my life as a RPer, it isn't.

So, I don't feel like you're overthinking it or being too concerned! In no way did you sign up for getting unwanted attention, and because it has happened before, of course, you're trying to insulate yourself from having it happen again. That's totally reasonable!

Now, what you could do about it...

It's another of those situations in which we're only truly capable of controlling ourselves. Everyone else is kind of a NPC.

You don't have to do anything I'm suggesting, but these are things I would do!

I would block the shit out of anyone saying these things/trying to make them stipulations, yes.

By that, I mean that I would also visit blogs they appear to interact with and they'd be blocked as well. We can all reblog something like resources or a shit post from a user we do not agree with without realizing it, but when it's frequent reblogs, direct support, and friendly vibes going on, it's safer to assume that they are aware their friend sucks. More importantly, that they do not think their friend sucks and support their views.

Even if that is not the case, do you want someone else's repeated inattention to expose you to bad actors? Nope! So, don't run the risk of paying and otherwise interacting with the one resource blog in the group that doesn't express these views/"requirements," but does involve themselves with those who do.

Try to find people selling these resources, that are not connected to the problem ones, who do not have those views. Once a trend starts, it is very hard to stop until it has run its course naturally, so, this might be difficult and take some extreme effort. You might want to consider asking like-minded friends who use psd's where they got them so you can check those users out for yourself.

If they're all the same, problem, people...

Look for users well outside of your corner of the RPC(s) who are not asking to be paid. I know it sounds wild, but there really are RPers out there who just enjoy making things for others! I can think of at least one right off on my dash. They might not be advertising for doing psd's or psd packs, but either they might be willing to do so (especially if they do not appear policing-positive) if you explain what is going on, or they could at least fill some requests for you for fully made icons and such. Hell, people who love doing this work usually know others who do as well, and anti-policing people quite reasonably stick together. They could have suggestions for someone not vile selling psd's.

Depending on what it is you want your psd's to do, I promise you that it wouldn't take you very long to learn it. I know...I know lol that's both really easy for me say when I've been doing it for over twenty years and am about to piss some people off. The latter because the most common settings on popular psd's are extremely simple shit, a lot of that is the kind of thing you're expressly told not to do in design work. Like ramping up extreme contrast, pixelating the fuck out of an image, and turning up the primary colors only. Once you get to playing with photoshop or an equivalent, you will totally see what I mean. You can accidentally make an icon look identical to something that is on trend in the RPC. If that was what you were going for? You've hit the mark, and it's just repetition and tweaking it here and there!

Once you start playing with it, too, it's actually pretty intuitive when it comes to the basic things like resizing, adjusting colors and contrast, and doing easy effects like blurs and sharpening. Frankly, playing with it is better than half the tutorials you'll find because they get unnecessarily complicated when all you want to do is crop your muse's face, overlay some color, and add a damn dotted border. Listen, like I said, I have a lot of experience...and I find many tutorials frustrating and overwhelming!

It is not just you, you're not dumb or anything. People get very comfortable with something and when they try to explain it to others, they use terms and methods that are more advanced or specific to them than they realize. That's all!

If you have friends who make their own things, ask them some very basic questions about what you want to do. They know you, so, they'll know better how to explain to you, specifically. Just keep it simple until you've had some time to experiment! Ask things like, "I want to take this image, resize it to be an icon, and add an orange tint to the image while sharpening only my muse's features...how would I do that? Easy mode?"

And! You don't even have to pay for photoshop or pirate it anymore! Photopea is as an exact copy as possible entirely located in your browser for free. It's all overwhelming at first, a real case of too many options and ways to do the same thing, but the only way it gets less overwhelming is just diving into it. Dive in, get a little frustrated, have some successes, make some awesome discoveries, it gets a bit addicting in short order. Then, the tutorials and tips are so much easier to figure out and expand on, too.

If you'd like, you can always send me a pm here and ask me. I'm happy to try to explain how to do things, zero judgment or impatience. Just an additional option if you both decide to try learning and would feel comfortable doing that. Zero judgment as well on not wanting to do either of those things!

Okay, this one is much harder than learning PS basics because it's honestly a bit terrifying...the way these people are, they're going to take issue with you no matter what you do, and in the end, if they notice you and feel like bothering you, they will. There's literally nothing you can do about it. All you can do is try to buffer yourself, stay away from them, and be aware that you are not the problem.

Like with the AO3 thing or writing what could be viewed as toxic relationships. You can never write or be interested in a single, solitary thing that they're on about (and accusing you of doing in real life when the burning Eye of Moron turns your direction), but to them, you supporting the right of other people to do so is just as bad as doing it yourself. To them, the toxic relationships not only would be problematic, they'd be problematic enough. Being uncomfortable with their policing and feeling unsafe because of it is, to them, a red flag of how problematic you are. Writing anything they've deemed objectionable (or reading or viewing it, for that matter) anywhere, doesn't have to be on this platform or RP-adjacent, doesn't have to actually utilize any of their materials, is enough.

They're absolutely including you in who shouldn't use their shit. That's part of the "logic" and methodology of policing. Everyone is problematic, so, everyone can be labeled a pedo and harassed without too many people getting up in arms about it. No one is safe, so, everyone better behave. You don't actually have to be engaging with or enjoying things like underage, non/dubcon, rape, abusive relationships, etc.

It's gross, it's bullying, it's actually a problem...and there isn't much you can do.

All that is truly up to you is making an effort to avoid them, though, this is very often unfair and likely to get more unfair as resource blogs of all sorts deal in it more. At least, in this case, you do have some small bit of actionable power - by not ever buying from them. They wouldn't be charging if they did not either need or want the money, not giving it to them is a bigger hit than things like simply unfollowing/blocking, reblogging PSA's, and so on is!

Nope, it isn't like you're denying them some extreme amount of money by yourself, but every three, five, ten dollars is felt pretty hard when you desperately need money and/or are saving for something.

I know, I mean, I personally do know, that it's impossible to "get over" bullying, Anon. I'm in no way telling you to just get over it and move on, find some great well of not caring somewhere! What I'm saying is that there is power in not giving them power. The power to make you anxious, uncomfortable, unsafe, when you have every right to be here doing your thing and are not hurting anyone. And it might seem to be a deeply contrary sort of logic, but realizing and accepting that there are people out there who irrationally dislike you for literally no reason, that you cannot infallibly escape or avoid, despite doing nothing wrong is a bit empowering. Because it puts into perspective the things you can control, and when we know what is in our control, it's easier to just enjoy our time here without constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. If it drops, we can go put it back in the closet where it belongs.

It starts to put a positive spin on the whole, damned if I do, damned if I don't feeling, if that makes sense? I'm probably way too tired to try to be explaining this lol I'm sorry!

Anyway, again, I'm not implying you can or should do any, let alone all, of those suggestions! I just really hope that something will help you feel even a little bit more at ease. It's an unfair situation, it isn't right, and you have every reason to be uncomfortable and stressed. If I could make it happen, you better believe that every policing asshole out there would be writing heartfelt apology letters and sending donations to everyone they've upset lol but...since I can't make that happen, all I can do is say what I, personally, do, would do, or have done.

[queencryo]

hm. i should start over on that tumblr post saver. now that i actually know [literally anything at all] about webdev and web apis and shit, i bet i could do a WAY better job than my previous 'reblog 200 posts to another blog' attempt, because franlly that script sucks dick, is worthless, and i never even bothered to set it up such tjat it ran continuously (had IDEAS to run it off an rpi, but never even got ariund to figuring THAT out. jeez...)

id defijitely also want to get/make a viewer, too. because, frankly, exporting a shitton of xml or json or whatever the fuck? not even helpful at all. lame!

though, hm. i have... no idea, how to make working webpages (cuz if u cant get stuff of a certain tag whassa point)

maybe a self-contained exe that runs both the server and the client? that might not be a terrible idea

viewer levels:

literally just xml

generate a basic html file that contains all da posts

make it have css too (how?) (i dontnknow right now fuck off)

allow tag filtering based on runtime arguments (postviewer.exe -tags 'honk, fuck, kill' -reblogs false)

allow tag fiktering from within the viewer, by clicking on tags. like tumblr does jow, kinda.

search up tags, too.

would also wnana be able to capture pictures. other media forms would be good, but pictures are franjly mandatory. (i dont feel thatd be super hard tbh. download image, rename it according to the post id, have that be accessible in the folder. append a cointer for multiple images in a post)

multiple post types is a potential worry. how are dialogues handled? has the way tumblr stores / encodes posts changed since the strt (surely, right)? how are reblogs hanxled, in the code?

would probably be helpful to find or make a test blog. fkr experimentation, and testing. on a blog.

i like this idea, i feel ike its smth i could actually do AND that is actually useful. maybe i could start over christmas break. plus, if i getthis working good and reliably, maybe i could let other ppl use it, too^_^ (for showing off to irl ppl, include one of the sandsverse blogs as an example. nice and weird, but so weird it works imo? plus iirc a nice variety of post types. not so good with taghing though iirc. check that later, maybe one is betterthan the other ones.) (yeah just went and checked sandsvendor. no damn tags. cmon seymour.)

anyway. might be a good idea to slot all the posts into a database? could sort by notes and shit, that way... but it also kinda implies rails (cuz thats tje only database-oriented stuff i interact with...)

doing thus in rails feels kind of stupid. plus, load time on start? should NOT be long, prederably under thirty seconds imo. idk hlw achievavle that is with rails or an sql darabase in general, since i know my blog for example has like 30000 posts or more if u include everything. which wasnt the initial plan, but... meh.

hm. okay. so.

initial plan: save all posts on a tumblr blog with one/more of a given set of tags. eg, the set [blog, saved, later] would catch posts woth tags [blog, i hate you, five dogs] and [later, saved, i love this so much] but not [aaaaa, you you you you, two] or []. Images (and possibly other media) attached to such posts are to be saved as wrll, in a format in which they can be retrieved at time of viewing. This process must be enactable with minimal user input, beyond choosing the tags and the blog url. Posts must be saved in a non-volatile format, ie they must be retrievable not just by this program. (bare minimum)

A viewer should be included, which is capable of rendering the posts in a manner that is human-readable. Posts must have all text, tags, timestamps, and images (possibly other media) as when they were on tungle.net.

Optionally, posts ij the viewer should be sortable and filterable. Users should be able to filter by tags (and possibly also timestamps, and whether the backed-up blog is the OP of a post). Users should be able to sort by timestamp both ascending and descending (if u need to sort by anything else well nyeeeeh)

okay! so. i THINK that really the main thing that rails kr another web framework would be needed for is tgat last point, and maybe the formating. i have no idea how hard/easy adding css formatring to straight html is (probably hard lol<_<)

hmmmmmm. okay. ill be real w u here. doing this in rails feels... dumb? Im not here to build a web app.

then again, filtering by tags, sorting? those are practically what databases were MADE to do. so if i want those (and, franjly, i do!), then it may be wise to resign myself to needing to use something of that nature.

maybe i could look into what those homestuck viewer people did? thats basically the platonic ideal of what i want this to be: a familiarish interface used to sift through the wreckage of the past.

hm. well, if any of yall have any ideas, feel free to chime in! hopefulky i end up actually doing this, so any tips would be super appreciated! (esp on how to handle the iewer part <_< thas the psrt that turns this from a script to a real projext imo)

[latin-dr-robotnik]

Hey, thanks @beevean for tagging me! <3

name: Sebastian

gender: Male

star signs: ☀️ Leo ⬆️ Pisces 🌜 (I thought I was LIbra Moon but last year a friend told me to check and I think it said Leo Moon...? idk I’ll check again someday)

height: 1.70m

time: 15:45

birthday: August 2nd

favorite bands: NTVG, LFC, Sumo, Gorillaz, Daft Punk... idk too many to name, I’m also very on and off with Ska-P.

favorite solo artists: You know me, I’m a very big Funk Fiction nerd, but apart from him I’m mostly a “I dig some of their songs” guy, with examples like Stevie Wonder. Still waiting on Kavinsky’s new record, though.

song stuck in my head: Ilegal (remember yesterday’s post? well, it’s official, it is legal. A pretty historic moment), Never Fade Away (heard it gets even more emotional at the end of the game, I’m still far from reaching it) and since I started writing this, Crimen Sollicitationis (such a fucked up song, it’s great.)

last movie: Last night there was a random indie movie on TV while I was cooking, don’t know its name, I only got the ending, where it seemed to be like a POV of two people going on a date to a bar and the weirdness of the moment (I agree, heck, even dating my best friend feels weird lol.)

last show: Rompan Todo (the mini-series I was talking about.)

when did i create this blog: I think March 2018.

what do i post: Sonic, Sonic music, Sonic shipping, Sonic opinions--SUDDENLY MULTIFANDOM. Politics, then back to Sonic.

last thing i googled: “sonic lost world juice archipelago” lol

other blogs: Seaside Hill Paradise, and the older Tumblr blog that got nuked when I swapped to this one.

do i get asks: The Sonic drought affected my asks, until last year I used to get a healthy amount of asks about shipping and/or prompts, this year? Not so much.

why i chose this url: I always say this, but I’m awful at (user)names (I was actually considering changing all my names to only one, but I already forgot it lol)

following: 65 (always looking to follow more, but there were cases this year where I actually did not want to interact with a good chunk of people.)

followers: 286 (hey, thank you! No, not you, pornbots, gtfo.)

average hours of sleep: After Christmas I was clocking like 12 hours lol now I’m back to 8 actually.

lucky number: 3...?

instruments: Guitar, I wonder if I could be a good drummer tho.

what i’m wearing: green shorts and a dark blue shirt (summer, yayyyy!)

dream job: Anything that can let me to talk non-stop about History and get paid for it lol

dream trip: pre-covid I would’ve said maybe somewhere in Spain or Italy, now in covid times and with a second wave coming mid-summer, even the closest beach seems like a dream trip.

favorite food: Pizza.

nationality: 🇦🇷

favorite song: Right now? Doin’ My Best. All time? probably Canción para Naufragios.

last book i read: Last thing I read are the Sonic (comic)books haha, I’m looking forward to read a new book that can get just as controversial as the Sonic comics (but I’d take that book over engaging in more fandom shit) in the coming weeks.

top three fictional universes i’d like to live in: Sonic, the Stardew Valley world where land access in a lovely rural community is a non-issue, and probably Kipo’s world now that the series is over.

Now, I should tag people here... eh, I don’t feel like it today. Be my guest if you want, though.

[othernecessarythings]

i’m sick and bored, let’s go

2020-02-10 (i’m 16)

1: How tall or short do you wish you were?

i’m really content with being 167 cm

2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not)

a dog, preferably a german shepherd

3: Do you have a favorite clothing style?

um i switch between alternative/emo-ish and hipster ig fashion girl, i like both of them

4: What was your favorite video game growing up?

mario kart at nintendo ds

5: What three things/people do you think of most each day:

my best friend, music (hayley williams) and my sister

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?

way too indecisive for their own good or may not be brave enough to voice their own opinion

7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]?

winter, way too overrated it’s unbelievably boring and depressing

8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]

?? idk

9: Are you ticklish?

ye

10: Are you allergic to anything?

oh boy am i allergic,, in short yes i fucking am, to soap and shampoo and perfume and makeup and nickel and grass pollen and dog saliva and laundry detergent and the list just continues

11: What’s your sexuality?

umm idk bi maybe

12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?

neither, i’m not much of a hot drink person, but cocoa

13: Are you a cat or dog person?

DOG (idontreallytrustcats)

14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson?

mermaid!! oh to be a free woman with shiny scales

15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber?

exurb1a or apri park, and um guilty pleasure of mine but daniel howell

16: How tall are you?

167 cm, and with some googling, ≈5.5 feet

17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?

ah my middle name i think

18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]

i actually don’t know, we don’t own a scale,, but like somewhere between 50-60 kg

19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits?

umm no

20: Do you like space or the ocean more?

i love love love the ocean!!

21: Are you religious?

yeah i kinda am and all my friends around me are atheists (very few in sweden are devoted religious people) but i am maybe? like i don’t believe in any god, but i believe in the good every religion speaks about, and i appreciate the christian concept of love and acceptance,, idk

22: Pet peeves?

ah many, i never do something about them though, but for example some swedish grammatical errors (de/dem sigh)

23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]?

nocturnal

24: Favorite constellation?

cassiopeia

25: Favorite star?

?? i don’t know any stars

26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls?

i don’t like any dolls

27: Any phobias or fears?

not really

28: Do you think global warming is real?

of course?? how could you not?? i mean come on i’m swedish we knew it was real before greta represented our country’s fight against it

29: Do you believe in reincarnation?

um no but i don’t believe that nothing happens after you die either so maybe

30: Favorite movie?

right now little women

31: Do you get scared easily?

yeah i never watch horror movies or stuff like that, but unlike from my friends am i not afraid of walking alone at night or similar things

32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime?

a few fishes and a dog

33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.]

i’ll rate my own blog instead, it’s shitty but it helps me relax and enjoy myself, it’s a safe space for only me

34: What is a color that calms you?

blue

35: Where would you like to travel and/or live?

oh so many places, i’d like to travel to asia and later live in the center of europe maybe

36: Where were you born?

sweden

37: What is your eye color?

dark brown

38: Introvert or extrovert?

definitely introvert

39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs?

no but i find it quite entertaining to read them and see if any applies to me or my friends

40: Hugs or kisses?

good hugs

41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now?

like hayley williams would be great

42: Who is someone you love deeply?

my sister and my best friends

43: Any piercings you want?

more in my ears

44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?

depends, i’ve got a few myself and i love them

45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so?

yeah i do, both this and that lol

46: Talk about your crush, if you have one!

not really, i’m not the crush type of people,, it’s really hard for me to find someone i like

47: What is a sound you really hate?

i’ve never had a problem with specific sounds, but some feelings like the one when your hands are slightly damp and you lightly rub them against each other?? uhhhrhs i can’t stand it,, wait i know one sound!! i can’t sleep when it’s raining outside! and that’s quite unusual i guess, but it really isn’t calming for me

48: A sound you really love?

laughter from people i love, the waves by the sea, a candle being lit, the sparkle from an open fire

49: Can you do a backflip?

no

50: Can you do the splits?

no

51: Favorite actor and/or actress?

i’m not that much of a movie fan, i don’t really know any

52: Favorite movie?

right now little women

53: How are you feeling right now?

sick and tired, but overall pretty happy!! i went to a wonderful concert yesterday and spent a few days in another city with my best friends

54: What color would you like your hair to be right now?

oh so many but right now black and dark red

55: When did you feel happiest?

last year at a tøp concert i think

56: Something that calms you down?

puzzles and music

57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]

nothing diagnosed and nothing right now, but i’m pretty sure i was depressed and had anxiety for some time ago

58: What does your URL mean?

um i just had to come up with a name quick and this was what i felt at the moment, and i guess it fits me, i am in fact a stupid goddamn fan of many things,, neon places are a combo of tøp related stuff and the song perfect places by lorde, and blasphemypilots is the song blasphemy by just twenty one pilots (see i am a stupid goddamn fan huh sigh)

59: What three words describe you the most?

oh um probably intelligent, indecisive and realistic

60: Do you believe in evolution?

what??? of course i do?? how could u not,, like seriously though i’ve never met any who don’t believe in it? what would u otherwise believe in? gods creation of the world or something? nah, as i said before, no one in sweden are really religious

61: What makes you unfollow a blog?

usually them posting about stuff i’m not in to, but ofcourse if they’re being homophobic/racist/sexist etc

62: What makes you follow a blog?

content i like, majorly just text posts about relatable stuff

63: Favorite kind of person:

intelligent, witty people with wide smiles and lots of adventurous spirit and spontaneous ideas

64: Favorite animal(s):

idk maybe dogs

65: Name three of your favorite blogs.

i really don’t know any specific

66: Favorite emoticon:

:) ;) not that original ik

67: Favorite meme:

hmm idk

68: What is your MBTI personality type?

oh i’ve done it plenty of times and got different results each time, but in the most recent was i infj-t

69: What is your star sign?

pisces

70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog?

if i had, i’d probably teach them to be able to do it

71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most?

black, wide jeans with a large grey reebok sweatshirt is probably my comfiest, but i’ve got other fits i feel more good looking in like my beige, wide jeans with a white turtleneck, a bright green sweater and jewelry

72: Post a selfie or two?

no thanks

73: Do you have platform shoes?

no, and i don’t think i want either

74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself?

i can’t for my life imitate other people or dialects or stuff like that

75: Can you do a front flip?

hah no

76: Do you like birds?

yeah sure

77: Do you like to swim?

love it!! swimming in the ocean is wonderful, and in pools are okay i guess

78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you?

depends on mood, i like both, it’s kinda dependable on season lol

79: Something you wish didn’t exist:

some music genres lol like swedish rap or trump

80: Some thing you wish did exist:

i’m not that creative but more concerts in my hometown would be lovely, and for stuff that doesn’t exist? maybe hot ice cream or a speaker that played silence so the room got quiet hmm

continuing in the next post

[onychaos]

November update log

Moving to Texas has been interesting. We live in a townhouse, me and my grandmother, and have people on the side of us. The area is nice, when I’m not trying to get hit by cars, I’m taking a walk down to the store to get my grandmother some things.

And things we had to deal with.

—

The Townhouse we are staying in had a different service here that we didn’t know of cause the landlord, didn’t check to see before telling us. Which meant we had no internet for 2 days.. but it seems to have an unwanted side effect on our internet.

Can’t be loud in the townhouse on Sunday to Friday or we may / will get put out on the streets, and I don’t want that… So have to change things up or how I do them, anyway.

Our download is great but our upload is awful as it is all over the place in terms of being stable and it’s hard to find the cause of this issue… But have a idea of what it may be. 

It could be the smart TV’s using build in Netflix that’s taking up the bandwidth and that could be what’s messing with the internet and if that is the case, I will disable the net on my smart TV but I doubt that is the cause of the issue..

The next and most likely is that, we have to call our ISP and have someone come out here to troubleshoot this problem as it is not getting better, just worst by the day. The worst case is that there is no way to fix this problem, and we are fucked either way at that point..

Got a weird scar on the back of my hand. It’s not a cut but looks like damaged skin?

But on to happier notes? I been doing some things since we got here in Texas. 

Been going on walks to the store / mini plaza to get little treats for me and my grandmother.

*Almost sorta* got hit by a car. The car was not too close but not too far from me. That was a moment and a half for me. Not enough to make my life flash before my eyes though.

Been using IG (Instagram) more to post pictures of my life. but I think I may post a selfie to IG but that thought that some creep liking my selfie is something else.. You can follow my Instagram, if you like. Feel free to ask me, not going to bite your hand off. lol

I been watching how people act in discord servers. HyperSonic7701’s discord server in particular has been interesting to see how some users act around certain topics. And watching them having said convo about said topic is that of a tire fire. Then things snowball downhill. I know what topics to avoid joining or bringing up, at least around them.

Been playing a lot of smash brothers for the Switch and been having fun. No friends to play with, but that’s why we have internet and that’s ok.

Played Kingdom Hearts 3 for the first time. It’s not a bad game from what everyone made it seem like it. It has it’s moments for sure but it’s fun. I been enjoying KH3 so far. But I think I won’t stream my first experience ever again with drax and his friends..

They took away the first blind experience for me, and I am sad about that. A game that I seen nothing about was somewhat ruined. That SPECIAL Moment of a first playthrough of the unknown, the magical experience just gone. I now know for next time to play games alone.

Been going back to doing things on my own rather waiting for friends who are unavailable. I also stopped asking people and friends* to play games with me, which normally ends up being people who tell me a date to play a game but doesn’t follow through or tell me we should play but nothing comes of it.

I just ask people or friends who I know have time to play or want to play, so it’s not a complete waste of time for anyone or me but most of the people I want to play with are either, too busy, not available, too cool* to play a game with me or just doesn’t want to.

Been watching a lot of Netflix shows and it’s great. Been watching little witch academia, and it’s a fun show. It’s cute, silly, and has charm to it. It’s a fun ride and love Season 2 so far.

Been making the most of my time till I get a job. Been cooking for my grandmother and doing what I can to keep her happy. Things are well and have got much better.

Been staying out of the dumb drama that people and friends get into. A waste of time and energy. Petty drama is the worst kind, you HAVE to be petty to have petty drama with someone.

I watched all of season 1 and 2 of aggretsuko. It left me feeling happy but confused. I can’t put it into words but it’s a great show.

I have been more open with what I feel and think. And in a time and age where people are just / can be assholes who don’t value this or care if you are open about your feelings. I am not sure if being open is good or bad since people seem to only like things when I’m having a bad day, which gives me a bad impression of them

Been using Tumblr more then WordPress. But issues that hold me back from truly enjoying Tumblr. One being trying to find out what links are blacklisted, since some links that have not been whitelisted will hide your post in search and tagged. 

People have made somewhat of a guide of what links that Tumblr has whitelisted and blacklisted.. But these posts are outdated or not being kept up to date anymore.  And there seems to be no way to get Tumblr to whitelist links that are safe to use..

And with Automattic, now having Tumblr under their wings, maybe in a few more months, the issues I have with the site might be fixed, that being the URL ban and maybe ban URLS that are not safe. Crazy idea, I know. :o

If in a few months or a month that Tumblr is still the same, even being owned by Automattic, I will head back to WordPress for my blogging needs and make Tumblr my second blog to copy what I post on WordPress to Tumblr.

Been sticking to my little diet and been getting fit. My stuff for working out got left behind in the old place, sadly. A part of my bike that was made for working out got left. I make due with walking. I will find a workaround for this.

Never gonna post a selfie to Facebook. Feels weird. Facebook feels like a place you go when you become an adult and you share other “funny” It’s not. But I will leave it at that. Not posting a selfie on Facebook. Yucky be Facebook. You can tell I don’t like Facebook that much, no?

I don’t hate Facebook but not in love with it. lol

I got another post in me that I want to make and why I stop being competitive and the post relates to CyberScore in someway, by proxy, quitting CyberScore. This will be a fun post to make and share.

I will go back to YouTube to make some Let’s plays. And now I got a better mic, time to put it to use, I suppose. :P

With free time, I plan on working on the fan game or may start working on an original game of my own and make something fun. I have to see what happens, of course.

It’s crazy to think that it has been 9 months since I truly quit speedrunning. And If I did get back into speedrunning like everyone has done, I would only hate it more at that point. And if a hobby I used to do makes me hate it, it’s a lost cause

Been a while since I made an update like log. Going over things I did or done. Sharing or oversharing. That’s all for now. :3

[aqours-remade]

Thoughts on Pillowfort so far.

I’ll do more posts when the site finally stops crapping all over the bed and works but here’s my analysis so far.

I won’t lie, I discovered tumblr when I was 18 specifically for RPing, so that does to an extent make up a big aspect of my thoughts, and I want to share it with both people who intend to be regular users and roleplayers in general.

Good aspects of pillowfort:

Community system is a feature not given by tumblr or twitter, and in an era where forums are becoming more of a niche if this takes off you’ll be able to experience forum-based interaction in addition to everything else.

Community system also gives a place to users who don’t like interacting with people heavily and so publicly like twitter and tumblr a place to use the site even if their blog itself is relatively untouched.

When you delete an OP post it deletes it from everyone else’s blog too. So if something goes bad with a post or you get embarrassed, blam! Its gone everywhere. Of course, this also means we might lose some good posts now and then...

Able to make reblogs and stuff private like on twitter.

Pillowfort’s TOS protects your intellectual property as an artist.

Built-in blocklist.

You can export your blog to your new pillowfort account.

ToS regarding harassing, callouts, mob mentality and the like specifically exists to oppress kinblr for the most part is very fair and reasonable and is specifically designed to keep the site relatively drama-free and actively punishing those who create lots of problems. People who do not like the drama associated with this website or the feeling of screwing up will be relieved by that.

When it works, the actual system for styling your post basically already has absolutely everything you could already want:

Bad aspects of pillowfort:

THE SITE DOESN’T FUCKING WORK YET YOU CAN’T USE THE WEBSITE IN ITS CURRENT STATE WITHOUT IT CRAPPING OUT EVERY 10 SECONDS.

I’m not saying that to be sarcastic or anything I genuinely cannot recommend the site in its current state until pillowfort’s team can stabilize the servers. As it is I can only recommend it if you’re determined to snag a good canon url now. It has a small anime community (rn its mostly Marvel) and not too much of a gaming community yet so... if it does take off now’s your chance to snag one-word name urls and just kinda bide your time until its actually functioning, that’s certainly an idea. I’m very happy I was able to get the dream url there that I wasn’t able to get here... but with the site Error 500ing me so much I can’t really use it.

We‘re still not 100% what the NSFW situation actually is, as the TOS is vague and there are conflicting beliefs about what .io’s policy on NSFW actually is. If you’re coming SPECIFICALLY because of the NSFW ban that’s going to be implemented I would encourage you to wait until we have 100% confirmation. Personally I like it already enough even if tumblr were to reverse the situation I think I’d use this place. I think Pillowfort really needs to come clear about this very soon, because if they don’t and people learn that “oh we can’t host NSFW after all,” despite claiming it a lot of people are gonna want their money back or at least wait until its free to use. The general belief is that as long as you don’t post NSFW in tags that doesn’t belong (like porn in #gardening) then it should be fine... so they say. We really need pillowfort to address people’s concerns, even though I think it’ll be fine, as this is a major reason why people are considering the move. The staff of pillowfort have said on twitter that they are in the process of finding a new domain. As such, as of this moment, pillowfort does not allow for nsfw. However, it will in the future. The best thing to do is be patient until then, I think the goods outweight hte bads.

Even though it’ll go away in 2019 you kinda. Gotta pay to use it right now. That’s kind of a thing.

No sideblog feature nor do I believe its planned, but I do believe the pillowfort team wants a system like the twitter app to quickly switch between full blogs.

While some people might consider this a plus, being able to add onto a post with text or photos has been a staple of both tumblr and twitter since the beginning. I see this changing as a major factor of whether or not people make the big move.

MCU, Detroit Become Human, Supernatural, and apparently hockey (and maybe Overwatch?) are the only big fandoms right now. While that already appeals to a lot of people, those of us into anime and the like have relatively few blogs from what we’ve seen. While this might change as time goes on, at least for the time being, anime and video game bloggers aren’t gonna have a lot for us. On the other hand, though? This also gives you the opportunity to make your claim as a fandom content creator.

Inability to make Communities private (right now) leaves that at potential risks of being raided.

(Minor) No custom themes it looks like, but that might be fore the better in the same vain? In your blog desc you can still link to other sites so now might be a good time to get used to listography instead of relying on custom links. To an extent you can control the colors of your blog though. Some people who hate eye-strainy themes on here or autodirect themes might actually find this a plus.

(Minor/Niche) Blogs themselves are bad for RPing if you’re into that. The forums however seem to provide an adequate place for forum-based RPing. But this would also make forum administrators responsible for upholding standards like “not jumping into other people’s RPs” and basic RP etiquette we have here. And forum-based rping would make finding RP partners outside of tags like #anime rp, #indie rp, etc to find people’s promos easier, depending on which becomes more popular. Even if you can add onto posts if you can’t trim the posts like we can on here (ty x-kit) it’d result in extremely long threads that would clog the dashboard significantly. I personally HIGHLY doubt the ability to edit other people’s posts or cut out replies will ever be a thing, so chances are RPing on pillowfort are gonna be Community-oriented and not on dash. At most people will make IC posts meant to be replied to and the like and headcanon memes while keeping actually threading in Communities, which will very well rely on the Community itself to be Not Shit.

Lacks instant messaging in its current state.

Despite the fact the bad really outweighs the good... I liked what little I could do. It genuinely feels like the only “true” tumblr alternative out there, even though its in beta. I just can’t really say much until the servers stabilize. This website is still in beta, so of course it has a lot of issues to work out, and of course it doesn’t have all the features this 11+ year old website has. I’m just stating these so people who are making the move who used this as their main website are aware of that.

I’m very excited to see this website grow, though!

[sugar-petals]

Hey. As I said in my previous ask, I think you are so darn smart, and I love your writing skills. If it's not going to bother... Could you, please, read my recent oneshot (akai-ito)? I need honest opinions on it, mainly coming from someone who writes and has no sentimental connection with me. (Only if it's not going to bother you) Thank you :)

Honest and a writer 😄 You’re at the right address I’m thinking. For a sweet please and Yoongi fics I’d probably do anything. The infamous review it is. I employ my classic critique structure (title-description-plot-characterization-grammar-dialogue), as always with strengths and improvement points, hope it is helpful, and here we go. 

Title: As most pieces on your m.list, you possess good sense when it comes to selecting what catches the eye and stays memorable. Definitely unique and a summary of the story, although much like with ishin-denshin, it took me a while to figure out what it’s about. That can be a strength (innovation/tension!) or a weakness (confusion). Make use of the former by giving the reader bread crumbs. Authors have to play Hansel and Grethel as we say here in Germany. For instance, maybe you’ve seen it, some fic writers give definitions to foreign or complex words under the title right away, maybe you can drop at least a hint about the yarn and that the idea is from a manga/series, important crediting there. Something else that might also be relevant according to recent events, be careful there with using Japanese words should you not be a native speaker. The Ariana Grade tattoo effect is very real and a slippery slope. Solution: Best clarify everything at the start, or make a disclaimer. Other than that, you don’t need much advice with titles imo, never change a running system.

Description: It strikes me that you are an advanced writer. There’s solid attention to detail. Definitely keep that up. The common downside, and here is the crux, is trailing off. Bear in mind to tailor detail according to relevance versus background story and worldbuilding. Each piece needs to interlink with something else sooner or later, repetition matters as an emotional anchor. That’s the extra mile to go and the step from advanced to senior writer. The key to describing, unless your name is Oscar Wilde, is often linearity. You can only break it up once you’ve mastered it. Good news, I think you’re already getting there. I see things like consistent tense, great syntax variation, and a POV switch at the right point in time.

Plot: What you are excellent at is creating ups and downs. A lot of effort went into this. That can’t be messed with. An important component, however, is missing. Most authors turn defensive when I point it out so I’ll word it step by step and show a trick to solve it. The alpha and omega of Caro’s advice remains nailing a character’s actions to hook the reader, not just during the smut scenes. A crucial example: The boss firing Jade is not placed at the start — as the most dramatic event in the earlier sequences — and thus loses momentum. It’s a well-orchestrated event and twist, that’s why it’s so essential to add emphasis. The characterizations + foreshadowing that led up to it are proper. But it has to come down like a hammer; not with indirect phrases that make it seem like something trite. Which it is not given how dear work is to Jade as a comfort zone. You describe her leaving angry, but not her face, what she does, the environment, other characters. It’s only trailing off into a semi-monologue with background information that should be self-evident through things that happened earlier. I want to see the hammer. You only bring it in the dialogue but there, it’s secondary to the verbatim of the characters, as it should be, mind you. Solution: Draw the hands-on sentences from the dialogue into the plot. Then we’re good to go. Problem solved.

Characterization: Little to no objections here on the other hand, very well done. It’s one of the pillars of your writing. I’ll tell you why it is good. It maps out the different lifestyles from your characters which creates a nice contrast, especially with Jade’s concerns in life, and her core motivation (stability). Yoongi’s portrayal impressed me, too. All quite effortless. Even the names themselves, I quite like them, brings a lot of pizzazz. Definitely use them often, things like “the skinny man”, “the woman”, “the dark-haired female” are best converted into simple adjectives for description along the way. The Chaos Club: Also a good idea to have.

Grammar: Pretty salient, I see it in the way you chop your subclauses which I love. Not much to improve except the bit with caps. If you want to use texting sequences in your fic, definitely don’t hesitate. It may read as off in the paragraph but sits just right in a written message exchange. Which also depicts reality well. Now, the reason why I have issues with caps is that you only need them once emphasis is not clear enough through context. You can test out whether italics are a more sophisticated fit, it depends on the scene. If someone yells, incorporate that in the description, put an exclamation mark — yes, the old-fashioned way, I’m a conservative critic I know, it’s annoying. The only caps you need are the ones for saying korean - nations always with capital, geography pun intended. No other grammar concerns, that’s basically it.

Dialogue: Interesting how you use hyphens there. It’s much like everything about your style, very much in its own bubble. That can be a good sign of authenticity. Took a while to get accustomed to it for me, but it’s a stylistic and individual choice, whatever works best and is comfortable. The reason why I probably missed the quotations marks is not an aesthetic one, but because the words of the characters blend into description quite seamlessly. It’s hard to picture their voices that way. What other readers think about it, maybe gather some more opinions how they get by with the hyphens. If I were to use them, my trick for next time writing would be to start a new line for each particle of speech while the description is not attached after the hyphen. It makes it very deliberate and sets pace, too. It gets rid of ‘said’ quite conveniently and brings out stronger verbs. As in:

The man binned his cellphone in one of the back pockets.– Nice to meet you, Jade. 

That has suspense and sex appeal. See how it differs from the original:

– Nice to meet you, Jade. - The man said and binned his cellphone in one of the back pockets.

Apart from that, something else to improve in dialogue is not stating the very obvious sometimes, but letting readers put things together in their head. That’s harder when Jade uses the exact tone of the narrator and not her own. Examples: ‘I’m visibly punchy’, ‘Before listening to his depressive songs and staring at his cute eyes and cheeks, I was satisfied with my nonexistent romantic life, now I’m considering the idea of nurturing a very dirty business.’, ‘I never felt another warm sensation other than tears, whilst watching some emotional crap on Netflix’. Dialogue does well contrasting to how the story is told. Bring all the slang, make it fragmented like real speech, fuck it up, it’s the fun part. You do have the registers and pull them off, that’s not the issue, only finding the right place to use them is the challenge. 

Other: Something funny happened. I missed the URL mention and thought Jade was an OC and not an existing person! 😅 Took some time until I managed to immerse myself in the story because I’m not used to seeing singular users inserted as readers. It’s one-to-one and hard to get into as an outsider, which surely is not the purpose, but it would help to understand who Jade is in relation to you, and how the fic idea came about. That can be quite entertaining as well in the author’s notes. That being said, she is living the dream and being Yoongi biased myself I feel rather envious which means you achieved plausibility in your fic. Maybe it’s because he has black hair and round cheeks in it. Am very endeared. 

PS: I get paid in fic reblogs for reviews 😉 Am half kidding. Speaking of the devil, for the love of my dash, please insert a keep reading so I can reblog. 

[diveronarpg]

Congratulations, GHOST! You’ve been accepted for the role of OTHELLO with a faceclaim change to Oscar Isaac. Admin Kaitlin: Oh man, Ghost, you have no idea how long I have been waiting for an Odin to bless our dashes. I’m not sure exactly what it is about him, but he’s one of those characters that has just always been enchanting to me, and I am so so so stoked that we’re finally going to have him on our dash. I absolutely loved the version of him that you gave us in this application, and I can’t wait to see where you take him from here! Please read over the checklist and send in your blog within 24 hours.

WELCOME TO THE MOB.

Out of Character

Alias | Ghost

Age | Twenty-four

Preferred Pronouns | She/Her

Activity Level | I haven’t been on tumblr, more specifically the rp world, in like a long ass time so it might take me a couple weeks to get back into the swing of things (this goes for writing too) but I am going to be on at the very, very least 3-4 times a week and that’ll be on a bad week tbh.

Timezone | EST

Current/Past RP Accounts | Yikes. These. Are. Old. They were all hard to find because my memory (and liking to weird and complicated urls) is a little foggy and 3 are from the same rpg but here you go! The last I had deleted interactions off of but it has A LOT of character building posts I made for her.

In Character

Character | Othello; Odin Bello. Can I use Oscar Isaac, please?

What drew you to this character? | I was originally looking at Delilah when she was auditioned for an taken up by the perfect player. So, I decided to read him and I fell in love. I love broody “bad” boys who are also hella loyal and lost. I like his mix of brutality and passion. There is so much room for him to develop and I always look for that in characters. The last bit of his bio also sums up perfectly what I see in Odin. A constant battle with himself, really.

All must learn a little bit of cruelty in a time where there is no room for kindness. All must learn to be a little kind in a time where the world only knows to be cruel.

What is a future plot idea you have in mind for the character? |

I. Bellamy. Out of all Odin’s connections, I feel I could have the most fun with this one and this is why this is a major plot idea I have stirring in my noggin. That is, of course, if it is ever feasible. It also plays into his and Bellamy’s connection to Pandora. He obviously wants to use Bellamy to potentially have a connection to the Montagues, to have someone inside to give him whatever information he needs. He also wants to take Pandora down. They are equal, but to him there could only be one brutal entity running around Verona. I’m sure he knows Bellamy’s annoyance with Pandora and what better way to find a way to tear her down than through Bellamy? If the blood is not on his own hands, how could he be guilty? If it wasn’t a Capulet that were to be Pandora’s demise, then there’d be no need for an outcry of more war. It seems to be the perfect concoction for a messy ending, but for who???

II. Delilah… I want Odin to regret the day he ever met her and not because of her supposed unfaithfulness, but because he was never man enough to love her right. I want him to watch her succeed and truly KNOW that he fucked up. I want him to try and make up for it and I want him to fail. Honestly, I am a sucker for hurting my own characters and what better way than giving Othello a taste of his own medicine?? It will also prove Ivan’s disloyalty to him and that would add a whole new level whenever this man comes into the picture in Diverona. I want Delilah to succeed so bad if you can’t tell.

III. PICK A SIDE ODIN!!! I want him to become one or the other. His mother or his father. I want there to be a downfall so hard that he either gives up all hope and becomes the monster people knew he would become or for him to see the errors in his way and try to make emends for them. No more broody, brutal and crying Othello. No more bloodshed. No more war. Every action has a consequence and so far he has gotten away free of harm. I want to tatter him up, strip him down and still see if he thinks brutality and kindness could have ever shared a home in the same body.

Are you comfortable with killing off your character? | Bring it on!

In Depth

What is your favorite place in Verona?

Odin took in a breath of fresh air, filling his lungs with the oxygen he knew he needed to survive. Some people say they don’t need a thing in this world to survive the bitter taste of reality. Yet, he knew as long as he was alive, he knew what it was like to need something so badly you would die for it. He felt he needed oxygen just as much as he neededVerona. To pick and choose a favorite place was like asking him if he’d rather go deaf or blind. He’d choose both over losing any spot or step he had in this city.

“I didn’t come back to this home to be asked to favor one area in it over the other,” He licked his lips, eyes looking around him. It was the closest thing he ever had to a home. “Would you pick a favorite child out of ten if you had them?” He laughed, something hollow and telling of the answer he already knew.

No.

Because when it comes to something you love, you love all of it, not just the pieces that bring you the most happiness or contentedness. Through all the ugly you love it. Just like through all the blood and glorious battle, Othello loved his fair Verona.

What does your typical day look like?

***6:00 AM: The alarm on his bedside table goes off, but he is already awake. The muscles in his shoulders ache from a sleepless night, but he reaches over and dismissing the tone before sitting up in bed. His feet hit the cold floor beneath him as he stretches out his body, groaning in what seems like pain. They tell you about the hurting and then the healing, but somehow he missed the healing.

6:05 AM: Hot water runs in the shower, the steam filling the room and fogging up the mirror. He stands, forehead against tile as his skin burns beneath the water. He prepares his mind for the day that follows. He remembers his father, his stern glare and harshness. He remembers how he is just like him and it helps his mind to adjust to the world he is about to enter. He reminds himself that kindness only gave him the hurting. He wonders when the healing will ever come.

6:30 AM: He is dressed in uniform, sitting in the driver’s seat of his vehicle. He waits for the cold to leave his bones, but it never does. He adjusts the mirrors and his walkie-talkie before starting his car and driving off. Verona seems still, but he knows the facade way too well to believe it to be true.

6:47 AM: A running car is parked on the side of the road, driver’s side open, body splayed out over the top of the hood. He puts his lights on and pulls over. When he comes up to the person, it is clear they are no longer a part of the land of the living. EDM pounds through the speakers of the car, the hood covered in rose-gold chromatic dust. He takes in a deep breath before going back to his car.

6:50 AM: Odin comes back with a bag of white powder, some wipes and a plan. There are no known users of what the Capulets call il sangue di Faerie and there is good reason for that. Even he doesn’t know much about the dust, but he’d protect his family no matter what. He might have been cold and hardened over, but he had always been a faithful man. His loyalties were concrete. So, he did what he could to hide the truth. He cleaned up the mess of Faerie’s Blood before wiping the cover-up drugs over unbreathing nostrils, sprinkling the rest over the hood that once shined like the lights of the night life that hid these secrets as well.

6:53 AM: “Dispatch, we have a problem,” He spoke calmly into his walkie-talkie, eyes never leaving the corpse in front of him. “We have an overdose victim on the side of the road about 3 miles away from The Dark Lady. Send medics immediately. Suspect appear to be dead. ” He waited only moments for a response that help was on the way. At least this person didn’t have to experience the hurting. If only he was able to stick around for the healing.

7:30 AM: The car door shuts. Odin watches what’s left of the scene before him. His heart rate is steady and his mindset unaffected by what just happened. This city was a battle field and there were bound to be fatalities along the way. Accidents happen, especially when it comes to Faerie’s Blood cocaine addiction…

8:00 PM: The rest of his day was uneventful. He comes home to silence, slipping out of uniform and kicking it to the side. There is a twinge in his chest that he can’t quite describe as he pulls the blankets aside and climbs into bed. He remembers and feels the hurting and thinks about the healing. He thinks about how if your dead you can never hurt and then there would be no need for the healing. Even if you’re only dead on the inside, it still counts. He is content enough then to slowly drift into a slumber.***

Odin laughed, taking in a deep breath. “You think being a law enforcement officer would be more interesting, but it really isn’t. On a bad day we catch a thief trying to steal some cigarettes or catch someone driving under the influence. Gotta keep the streets and people of Verona safe, yeah?” He licked his lips, knowing very well his real day-to-day life was more of a glorified cop show where something was always happening. If it wasn’t covering up drugs… it was covering up a murder.

Othello drew in a deep breath. “But if you really want to know. There’s never a dull day with the family. Do you think I dawn the uniform now because I fight for justice? Maybe for them, but it is a good disguise. What officer isn’t morally corrupt nowadays? It just seemed to work.” He also needed the boost after his discharge. “I became a hero and found a place I belong. So, in the end, who gives a fuck what I do in my day?”

What has been your biggest mistake thus far?

The answer was simple. No matter how much he hated to admit it and to reveal his heart, he knew no other answer to give. His jaw clenched with a whisper of pain, but what else was a strong and calloused man to do but than to swallow it down in one heavy gulp. “Falling in love,” His father also made the same mistake. “What else has it brought me other than betrayal and hurt?”

The Bello men weren’t made for love, his father made that clear, but sometimes the heart is stronger than the mind. Only his fists were never stronger than his heart when it came to Delilah. Even Odin was man enough to choose words over fists, but no one had ever told him that they could hurt all the same. His tongue always lashed out and he could see the pain in her eyes every single fucking time. The words still haunted him.

“You’re nothing but a harlot. Who will love you now, Delilah?”

But maybe his biggest mistake wasn’t actually falling in love, but letting other’s make him believe in the lies he also told. The same mistake that led to ruining a good name– hurting a beautiful and kind woman. He never deserved her and he never will. He was his father and she was his mother. Black and white. Cold and warm. Cruel and kind. They were the spitting image of what he grew up watching and everyone now had the answer to the question they asked for years. The question he even had deep beneath his ribs.

Which do you think he’ll turn out to be?

Which will I turn out to be?

What has been the most difficult task asked of you?

***“Bello.” his upper said sternly, making it known that he was serious in his decision. “You’re being discharged.” He knew words could hurt, but not like this. It was what was going to happen and had no control over it. He had been reckless and care free, but this was his way out of having to live brutally and lost. Yet, he wasn’t the soldier they needed with war on the horizon. “It’s for the best.”

“That’s what you think, but what if it’s not for the best?” He asked, tone slightly aggravated. He could feel his fists and jaw clench all the same. With a familiar anger he saw growing up. The same anger that swam through his veins. “This is where I belong.”

The other man shook his head, resting a hand on Odin’s shoulder. As if it were supposed to be comforting. As if it were going to fix things. “Sometimes where we think we belong is just a stop sign along the way to find your real home.”

Odin scoffed, pushing his uppers hand off of his shoulder. “Don’t pull that bubblegum bullshit with me. I’m not in the mood.”

“You need to leave. Before this gets out of hand.”

Out of hand? Them discharging him was out of hand, but he swallowed back the news like razors sliding down throat. He raised his arms in surrender before grabbing his things to leave. “You’ll regret this one day.” He said in a tone devoid of anything but anger.

At least he knew, even with the disappointment of this entire situation, that no one in this world could ever disappoint him more than himself. He thought the obstacles he tumbled through in his life before now were hard? Try losing the last thing you believed could fix you. Try leaving behind the only life you grew to love and care about. It was the hardest thing he was ever asked to do and it ended up being the thing he was best at… leaving.***

“Fuck this question.” He sighed, adjusting his shirt and standing up a little taller to make it seem as if it weren’t that big of a deal. “Being asked to leave the army was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I lost a lot.” He shrugged, like he always did when he wanted to brush off all the seriousness and hide that he was human– one who felt pain all the same. “But look at where I am at now. I wouldn’t be here if that didn’t happen, so, in a way I guess it was meant to be.”

What are your thoughts on the war between the Capulets and the Montagues?

“We’ve been fighting to choose sides for centuries.” Othello never bit his tongue when it came to his thoughts. Especially on war. “We’ve been battling, shedding blood, winning and losing for centuries. What makes now any different? I’ve seen all sides of war, this is just the same as the rest.” He shrugged, head tilting in a systematic sort of way. As if every question he was asked came with a question in return.

Shouldn’t you already know the answer?

“It’s human nature. If you really dig down deep, deep beneath the world’s kindness– it is built off of brutality and death. No resolution came without the conflict.” He laughed. “But sometimes people like the conflict a little too much to ever meet in the middle. Am I right? When have you last seen a war go on this long, if not to revel in the destruction?”

Extras: N/A

[ludacryst]

Survey Says..

1: How tall or short do you wish you were? I'm 5'3, but I sometimes wish I was shorter because of how cute it can be in a relationship. I've watched too much anime, okay?

2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not) Well, @warpedbelief didn't help me figuring this out because his dragon idea was really cool. However... I'll just stick with cats. I love cats. (I also love dragons..)

3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? Comfortable. Lol. I mostly wear PJs.

4: What was your favorite video game growing up? Final Fantasy series in general. 7 & 9 Specifically. My heart was always with Zelda ALTTP though.

5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: Erwin, Wiggles, PoF (Power of Friendship, so my friends/family.)

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say? Caution : Speaks her mind far too often. No filter. Bossy af. Does not cave easily.

7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]? I don't know.

8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic] Melancholic.

9: Are you ticklish? .....No...?....(Yes)

10: Are you allergic to anything? Lots of stuff. There's a list uploaded somewhere.

11: What’s your sexuality? Heteronormative Bisexual. I used to call it straight with a twist until I figured out there was an actual term for it. Basically, I'm emotionally attracted to men and commonly see myself in a relationship with men. (My Husband, HI.) However, I have similar attractions physically to women, but have never seen myself in a relationship with one other than physically.

12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa? Cocoa or Tea, but I'll drink any of em.

13: Are you a cat or dog person? Cat. 1000% They're chill just like me... once they're older.

14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? Elf, probably. I love nature, I hate being allergic to it though.

15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber? Nah, I just skim youtube from time to time, no favorite.

16: How tall are you? 5'3.

17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? I'd probably keep it in the realm it's already in. So, I'm Crystal. I go by Crys (Chris) so probably Christina.. or anything that could shorten it to Chris of sorts. It's just me.

18: How much do you weigh? 175-190, depends on if I've ate fast food recently or not. More averaged at 186, but it's jumped a lot the past few months. Goal weight is 125.

19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? Sure. I don't disbelieve. Had a thing when i was a kid a few times that make me think something exists.. whether or not we know what it is.

20: Do you like space or the ocean more? Space. Stars. I love water don't get me wrong, but I'm more curious about what we can't physically reach.

21: Are you religious? Nah.

22: Pet peeves? Liars, people who try to grind my gears, people saying "I'm going to do it just to spite you." I'm tired of toxicity of people.

23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]? Diurnal. I'm defaulted to Nocturnal, so just eat some edibles and we're in bed by 10pm! :)

24: Favorite constellation? Leo ;)

25: Favorite star? Sirius, it shines the brightest.

26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls? I don't like dolls. They're creepy.

27: Any phobias or fears? Irrational : Dolls, Being around people. Rational : Heights, Closed Spaces t-t

28: Do you think global warming is real? Fucking. Is this seriously a question? Of course it's real.

29: Do you believe in reincarnation? I actually like to. It gives me hope there's something after death.

30: Favorite movie? I'm not sure I have a favorite movie...

31: Do you get scared easily? Nah, but I love a good jump scare.

32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime? Christina - My first doggie, passed away when I was in 4th grade. She was a mini collie~ Alexi - My green/yellow parakeet. Passed away at roughly 2-3 years old. Jiggy - My gray/white beautiful DHS big boi kitty. (2006-2016) Momma - My loving calico who picked me over everyone. ;o;  (2006-2018) Wiggles - Adopted from my family, he's a tyrant! He loves his dad more than me tho... [rude] (2016-???)

33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.] You CC please.

34: What is a color that calms you? Blue. Blue is always relaxing, especially softer/darker blues.

35: Where would you like to travel and/or live? Travel wise, I want to visit a lot of places. Germany, UK, Canada... more specifically Niagara Falls.. Live wise, if I could, I'd live in Canada. However... I just want to live in the midwest, or east, somewhere more affordable in the US.

36: Where were you born? Ohio!

37: What is your eye color? Blue-gray.

38: Introvert or extrovert? 1000% introverted.

39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? I think they're amusing as fuck. I don't believe/follow them 100%. I do like to imagine what it would be like if they were right though. I follow zodiac stuff way more than horoscope.

40: Hugs or kisses? xoxoxo - Preferably hugs, they're for everyone! *HUGS*

41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now? Scotty! ( @warpedbelief )

42: Who is someone you love deeply? @hyphenhero - My husbando.

43: Any piercings you want? I really dunno any more. The only one I've been considering lately is Daith.

44: Do you like tattoos and piercings? I don't dislike tattoos and piercings.

45: Do you smoke or have you ever done so? Cigarettes are disgusting. Be more descriptive of your "smoking." I have marijuana vapes I enjoy.

46: Talk about your crush, if you have one! Well, I married him.

47: What is a sound you really hate? Anything pitchy. My ears have been killing me the past year or so.

48: A sound you really love? Meow.

49: Can you do a backflip? HAHAHA No.

50: Can you do the splits? Almost did them on accident the other day. It really hurt. (No)

51: Favorite actor and/or actress? Do voice actors count? Because then I'm between two. Johnny Yong Bosch and Matt Mercer.

52: Favorite movie? Wasn't this asked already? I don't have one.

53: How are you feeling right now? Tired.

54: What color would you like your hair to be right now? I really want to bleach it blonde again.

55: When did you feel happiest? Maybe when we first moved into our second apartment? The rent was cheaper, it was nice. I miss freedom. Though, I also miss having a full guild of friends and getting along and having fun together.. Man I'm getting old.

56: Something that calms you down? Marijuana primarily. Hugs. Kittens.

57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] Anxiety, Depression, Memory issues xD Honestly you should just ask if there's stuff NOT wrong with me.

58: What does your URL mean? It's a nickname a friend gave me 11 years ago. Holy crap. It's been 11 years.

59: What three words describe you the most? Sassy, Bratty, Mom-ish.

60: Do you believe in evolution? Yes.

61: What makes you unfollow a blog? Too much spam/boring content. Stuff I'm not interested in. Sometimes inactivity for years.

62: What makes you follow a blog? Stuff I'm interested in typically.

63: Favorite kind of person: People I can just talk to about anything. I like to talk. I don't like to be pestered and felt bad about not responding right away. I enjoy helping people. So I'm mostly a listener. I like to talk about stuff we're mutually interested in. Sometimes I love people I can debate with but not hate after (reasonable debates.) I guess I'm going to be that guy and copy what my friend said.. "Engaging, but not too much that I’m constantly tired. I like doing nothing, but doing nothing with the right person."

64: Favorite animal(s): Cats. All the cats.

65: Name three of your favorite blogs. I don't really actively follow any specific blog in particular! :x

66: Favorite emoticon: :smirk: (use it on discord... though if you played maplestory, it's an F3 equivalent... )

67: Favorite meme: You said that tho?

68: What is your MBTI personality type? INFJ-T

69: What is your star sign? Leo

70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? No dog, but you'd be damn right to guess I'd train them.

71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most? Any of the fluffy pjs with a thin tank top.

72: Post a selfie or two? https://ludacryst.tumblr.com/tagged/me https://ludacryst.tumblr.com/tagged/wedding

73: Do you have platform shoes? Nah. I don't have heels either.

74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself? My memory is absolutely shit in most situations.  However, in certain and RANDOM AF situations it can be clear as day. If I want to learn/remember something? Forget about it. If I could not care less about something? You'll be damn straight I'll remember it.

75: Can you do a front flip? Lol, no.

76: Do you like birds? Yeah, cept the annoying high pitched ones T_T

77: Do you like to swim? I used to love to. I can't really be in the sun for long any more though.

78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you? Never been Ice Skating! Always wanted to try. I'd probably equally enjoy both.

79: Something you wish didn’t exist: Mosquitoes, Cancer, Violence. On the violence part... It's mostly guns. If we had swordsman style fights - It'd be more interesting.

80: Some thing you wish did exist: Cures to incurables. Cancer, Epilepsy, Autism, etc. (I'm an epilepsy survivor.)

81: Piercings you have? Had an eyebrow piercing, lost it the same month I got it to pink eye.

82: Something you really enjoy doing: Watching television. I miss reading. I have a hard time focusing on reading now.

83: Favorite person to talk to: I have 3! Erwin (@hyphenhero) - My husband~ and my friends Scott (@warpedbelief)  and Brandon.

84: What was your first impression of Tumblr? What the fuck is this and why do people use it? inb4 I replaced wordpress with it.

85: How many followers do you have? I don't really check. My Tumblr is mostly for me... and I just restarted fresh these past few months.

86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? Maybe if I tried. Used to be able to run one in 6.

87: Do your socks always match? Yeah.

88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely? HA, Never could.

89: What are your birthstones? Peridot, Sardonyx, Spinel

90: If you were an animal, which one would you be? Cat? Yes. Spoil me.

91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? Tulips.

92: A store you hate? Umm.... I don't know if I avoid any stores in particular....

93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? 1-2. My stomach gets pretty upset.

94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? Fly. Definitely. I get lost in my own mind enough.

95: Do you like to wear camo? Situationally.

96: Winter or summer? Winter 100%. Hate the heat. Love the snow.

97: How long can you hold your breath for? I don't know. Like 30 seconds maybe?

98: Least favorite person? They who will not be named. It gives them too much attention.

99: Someone you look up to: I used to look up to my mom a lot. Now I'm more-so my own person, I just do what I can to do right by me and my hubby.

100: A store you love? Uhm.. Any cheap store... I don't really have a favorite. I guess amazon for saving me gas?

101: Favorite type of shoes Skechers.

102: Where do you live? California.

103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why? Nah. I love ham too much.

104: What is your favorite mineral or gem? Cubic Zirconia actually. It's so undervalued but so pretty.

105: Do you drink milk? Used to. Not really much any more.

106: Do you like bugs? Sometimes. But not in the house.

107: Do you like spiders? Sure, they get rid of the bad bugs.

108: Something you get paranoid about? Being followed. Bugs crawling on me.

109: Can you draw: Used to be able to. Not any more.

110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked? I don't know, I usually tell people anything they ask lol.

111: A question you hate being asked? Any question I had previously already answered, and they just weren't paying attention. Anything related to me/my own working/schooling.

112: Ever been bitten by a spider? Not that I can remember.

113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach? Yeah, it's really relaxing.

114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days? Cloudy, 100%

115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: I would like to cuddle Momma right now.. Why you gotta go and make a girl sad for survey thing? (My calico that passed away last year..)

116: Favorite cloud type: Cumulus, Cumulonimbus, and Nimbostratus. Yes I googled them for their names.

117: What color do you wish the sky was? I honestly love the colors the sky is/can be, especially at sunrise and sunset.

118: Do you have freckles? Yes, but you can only see them when I have a tan. So to anyone who hasn't seen me since I was 10, you'd never know I had them.

119: Favorite thing about a person: How they treat people. If they're kind to animals. Eyes. Definitely eyes.

120: Fruits or vegetables? Fruits @_@

121: Something you want to do right now: Play Zelda - BoTW on Hard - but... I'm lazy.

122: Is the ocean or sky prettier? Ocean. But they look best together.

123: Sweet or sour foods? Candies or actual food? Food, sweet. Candies, sour.

124: Bright or dim lights? Dim as you can go without causing me to have seizures over tiny little things.

125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature? I wish. Dragons would rock my world.

126: Something you hate about Tumblr: Yahoo owning it.

127: Something you love about Tumblr: The freedom it USED to have.

128: What do you think about the least? I dunno, I think about it the least... so it won't naturally come to me.

129: What would you want written on your tombstone? Carpe Diem ....heheheh.

130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now? Why would I name them? Again with the attention thing.

131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself? My Epilepsy. It's shown me who really gives a fuck about me, but also it's taken a lot from me.

132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures? No, I hate my teeth.

133: Computer or TV? Computer, it offers more.

134: Do you like roller coasters? Never been on one, definitely want to try.

135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness? Sometimes motion sickness, never got seasick tho.

136: Are your ears lobed or attached? Attatched.

137: Do you believe in karma? I like to believe in Karma, but I really feel like people don't get their just desserts :(

138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are? -5

139: What nicknames do you have/have had? Crys, Crysti, Cryssi, Crysii, Ludacryst, Toxie, Punky, there's probably more but effort.

140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? I am unsure.

141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? Yes. More than one therapist.

142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? Yes.

143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help? Giving.

144: What makes you angry? Lots of little things. Dumb things. Mostly the way medical/doctors are here... Our president... a lot of things really.

145: How many languages do you speak fluently? I can barely manage English, you want me to learn more?!

146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? I kinda answered this earlier.

147: Are you androgynous? No.

148: Favorite physical thing about yourself: My eye color.

149: Favorite thing about your personality: I'm more willing to let people go if they make my life worse. I used to be terrible at that.

150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person. My Mom, Scooter, Matt Mercer.. (shh)

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? ANY ERA WITH KNIGHTS AND KINGDOMS AND WEEEEEEE............ (I like a lot of oldie based shows.)

152: Do you like BuzzFeed? Eh.

153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.] MapleStory. Not even remotely kidding.

154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? Yes. I'm a very touchy person if I trust the person. I prefer hugs on most though. Forehead is pretty sentimental to me.

155: Do you like to play with others’ hair? Sometimes, yeah.

156: What embarrasses you? My teeth, my weight, a lot of things.

157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious: People. Crowds. Planes. Heights. New Doctors.

158: Biggest lie you have ever told: If it's the biggest lie I've ever told, do you think I'm going to out myself on social media?

159: How many people are you following? Fuck if I know... I'm too lazy to check.

160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)? See #159

161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)? See #159

162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)? See #159

163: Last time you cried and why: It's been over a lot of things. My health, my families health, my cat, hurting myself, etc.

164: Do you have long or short hair? Medium?

165: Longest your hair has ever been: Just below my shoulders.

166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religion? Neutral mostly, because you can't prove or disprove a god exists. Just because you haven't seen something does that mean it's not there? Also, just because you believe in something, does it mean that it exists really? I'm agnostic. Though Wicca seems like a more reasonable religion in most aspects (I've dabbled in research, I hope that doesn't offend anyone.)

167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created? Not really. I just care if it's gonna blow up before I die.

168: Do you like to wear makeup? Like? Not usually, it just helps me feel a little better sometimes.

169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? Nope.

170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully? As much as I could.

[cinderspewed]

CALLOUT: MUTUALS, BE CAUTIOUS OF YOUR ANONS.

                        If you’ve been following me for many moons, you know that I have NEVER made a callout post for anything or anyone. I have established myself in such a way, that when I tell someone to leave me alone ( aka: politely fuck off ), they do. I have also befriended the blocking button and have been good at leaving peoples names out of my mouth. Because talking about hurtful people isn’t worth it and usually the problem goes away when you avoid someone. However, my efforts for this particular situation have NOT been fruitful. I will be placing my experience under a read more.                         Prior to me addressing anything, I wanted to state that I am NOT asking anyone to do anything out of line, not to send anonymous hate, nor to even block a certain person. All I ask is that you be very mindful of the anonymous messages you might receive regarding certain users. Chances are, they probably didn’t send them and the context of the anonymous messages has gotten too out of line for us. You might think “what’s the big deal?” while you’re reading this. The big deal is this: if someone blocks you, you take the hint and leave them alone and you don’t send asks/IMs constantly asking about them no matter how “innocent” they seem.

                        Once upon a time, I was minding my own business when I noticed a certain user ( @coffeeiisms ) had followed me. They have since then deleted their blog, but at the time, they were sending me asks and IMs. I ignored them, because they were not a mutual and because their character was the type that would receive negative feedback from my own character. While I know Dei can be mean, I don’t LIKE having him be mean if I haven’t really established a connection with someone, because usually people think it reflects the muns feelings, so I ignored it all. It wasn’t until they IMed me asking to write that I politely told them no (x).                         I went out to get ice cream from the store. And I returned to a string of IMs essentially guilt-tripping me for not wanting to write with them (x). Unfortunately, I did not take screenshots, because I was content with the idea that I would never have to interact with this person EVER again. However, I did copy and paste their words in a skype conversation I was having, as you see in the previous statement. I remember making a post saying you should NEVER guilt trip someone or put them down for not wanting to write with you. To which, my friend Loke ( @loketratan ) messaged me and asked if I was having an issue with, YOU GUESSED IT, coffeeiisms. They were receiving the same kinds of messages from them. Loke was not interested and chose to politely decline as well (x, x). However, they also received guilt-tripping as well (x, x). Again, we didn’t think this would escalate, so we have minimal screenshots, just copy and pasted segments of their IMs to us.                         At that point, Loke BLOCKED that user. We thought we were finished. Unfortunately, we were not. At that point, coffeeiisms contacted a mutual of Loke and proceeded to, out of the blue, ask if this person knew Loke and explained that they had been blocked by them (x). Then proceeded to call her a jerk. First and foremost, you don’t do that to anyone. If you get blocked, you get over it and move on. You DON’T walk into another users IMs and name drop them like that.                         You know what you also don’t do? You don’t send someone an anon shaming them for blocking you (x). Which is what coffeeiisms did. It’s not impossible guys; as much as I wish people couldn’t contact you when they’re blocked, they DEFINITELY can. And that’s exactly what they did. And I’m bringing this up for a reason as well ( foreshadowing much? ).                         Loke and I foolishly assumed that nothing would escalate after this point. Realistically speaking, how often does this even happen? Things seemed pretty quiet. Until another user ( @thepureststar ) happened to follow Loke and then myself. We instantly noticed a pattern. This user also sent an influx of random asks that ultimately went unanswered and they also IMed us wanting to write or just randomly talk. But something suspicious came with these asks. . . We received odd anons asking about particular users. The anons I got were usually about Loke. However, the anons Loke got were usually about me and other users (x, x, x, x, x, x) and consisted of very inappropriate, sexually-charged, romantic-driven questions/commands. And that’s just some of the one’s we SAVED, honey.                         Some of you may be wondering what the big deal is. Don’t people like to receive anonymous messages regarding connections certain characters have with others? Sure. For the most part. However, you also have to realize some people are NOT comfortable with that attention and they are not comfortable with romantically implied content. Especially when it comes out of the blue. WOW, it’s almost as if I have that somewhere in my rules-. . . Oh wait. I DO. And all you were doing was making me extremely anxious and uncomfortable. But, fuck my feelings right? You think that just because I have you blocked, this doesn’t apply to you.                         Here’s also another kicker. When people namedrop on anon, some people might think that THAT PERSON was the one who sent the anon in the first place. In other words, if you’re asking someone what they think of cinderspewed on anon, that person might very well assume I might have sent that, because who else really knows me or talks about me with said person?                         Something peculiar also occurred: thepureststar was also contacting other people in IMs asking if they knew Loke (x). And, WOW. . . Would you look at that? They misspelled Loke’s URL the SAME way coffeeisms did. It’s almost as if-. . . GASP. They were the same person. Spoiler alert. THEY ARE. They also sent other people asks about Loke as well (x), which again were romantically charged. Again, please keep in mind...some people aren’t comfortable with this direct namedropping and attention, especially with people they are just starting to interact with. This gives off a negative impression, as if to imply that all Loke’s character wants is to have sex or get romantically involved with another muse. You obviously know nothing about her portrayal if you assume the mun is that kind of person.                         Loke had already blocked thepureststar. The similarities were too uncanny to coffeeiisms. In that moment, they had sent a personal blog to send Loke a message asking why they blocked thepureststar. However, we suspect that this personal blog was indeed YOURS, purest. Because, WHAT A COINCIDENCE, it’s deleted too. And thankfully for you, we don’t have the screenshot. Maybe that makes us fools, sure. But we wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt that you would kindly fuck off, leave us alone, and that you would cease your stalking tendencies when you went unanswered and ignored. You purposefully picked people you thought wouldn’t do a damn thing to defend themselves and you should honestly be ASHAMED of yourself. Just because we don’t publicly dismiss you, DOESN’T mean we tolerate you. We were trying to help you SAVE FACE, because we’re not assholes. We’re adults, we know when to put things to rest and move on. But you don’t.                         The the invasive anonymous messages kept coming ( as displayed previously ). Anything from Loke’s sexuality to who he’s writing with. You even sent me an anon about Loke as well...and then proceeded to send another message off anon just 2 minutes after (x) so I know it’s you. After all. . . I had already answered an ask regarding my thoughts on Loke. . .because Loke was the one who fucking sent it in the first place (x). I blocked you. I blocked your IP. I did it to help you save face, but it seems NOTHING has changed. Despite Loke’s efforts to completely detach from you, your invasive asks still keep coming (x) and we know it’s you, because you’ve asked questions like this before to the person you reference (x).

                        YOU’RE STALKING LOKE’S BLOG. It’s obvious and it needs to stop. A user who innocently wished Loke a happy birthday even got an anonymous message from you (x). They haven’t even interacted or written with each other yet! So it seems you’ll just hit up anyone just to keep Loke’s name in your mouth. And that’s disgusting. Your asks may seem innocent on the outside, but I see RIGHT through them. It’s almost as if you want to write with her so bad and interact with her. . .that you’re willing to go through other people to live out this facade and just have her respond to you in general. That’s obsessive, that’s extra, and you’re asking so many awkward questions without taking into consideration the person you namedrop’s comfort or Loke’s comfort in general!                         It’s Loke’s fucking BIRTHDAY today. And she has to wake up to your bullshit. And she has to live through this nightmare all over again, gathering proof to the best of her ability, about yet another stalking incident she’s unfortunately had to endure. I pray that this incident isn’t as severe and serious as the one she had to deal with in real life. I want to think of you as a desperate joke for letting things get this far, letting things get this big. You could have just walked away, but for some reason. . .you latched onto Loke and me. And you honestly found the two worst people to fuck with.                         So this is just a precaution to everyone. If at any point, you get an anonymous message about Loke or myself or even another mutual that says “do you know so and so?” or anything of that nature. . . All I ask is that you ignore it. That’s it. It’s honestly a simple request. Because I don’t want anyone getting involved with someone who could potentially become obsessed with them and incorporate them into inappropriate asks.                         I am well aware that we are all doing the same thing, we’re all writing and engaging in a fictional world. . . But we’re also human beings and we also know when to step out of this magic circle of fiction we’ve created. Or rather, we SHOULD. There are rules for a reason and we should all be considerate and mindful. And when someone blocks you. . .we should know NOT to pursue them or try to gain their attention. Because enough is enough. No one deserves to feel anxious over something so immature and petty. And I love my friends too much to see them get affected by this, especially someone as strong and outspoken as Loke. I PRAY I don’t have to make a part two for this. I PRAY we’re done here. I PRAY this is the most minuscule thing I have to ever encounter. Because this isn’t even me being ugly. . . But I damn sure can be.

[wolf-haten]

Hi guys! I was a staff member of Wolf-Haven from 2011 to 2016, although I was not very active for the last two years because that’s around the time Karlos lost interest in WH. It was very frustrating to work for someone who did not care to be an administrator of his own site, and you can only preach to someone so much before you realize that it is a lost case and your time is better spent elsewhere.

I want to preface my statement by saying that I am not here to slander the site, spread rumors, or bash it for no reason. I am here to share facts – events that really happened – and my recollection and opinions of those events. I will probably be banned from WH if Karlos sees this, but I obviously stopped playing the game years ago and I no longer interact with the community.

Seeing Karlos’s activity elsewhere bothers me to no end. I asked him to work on things several times; he always claimed that he was going through a lot or that he was very depressed. I completely understand, and he really did experience life-changing events that affected him and forced him to step away from WH for a month here and there. That being said, these events did not last for years, which is how long it’s been since he’s given a flying fuck about the site. He has had enough time to bounce back and readjust. He has gone to furry conventions, dated multiple people, moved, etc. I think what many people failed to realize (even myself) was that Karlos was not absent; he knew exactly what was going on. Staff can see the last time a user logs on, and his timestamps were always recent. He visits the site, and he has an extensive knowledge of web coding and design. He showed me the dozens of textbooks that he read on coding and web security. Perhaps it was a lack of motivation? I’m not really sure; he definitely had the capacity to fix many of the issues that occurred.

I think that when WH was hacked in 2013, he lost a lot of confidence in himself. I don’t think the site truly ever recovered from the hack. We lost many of the most well-known members simply because of the way Karlos chose to handle the events after the hack. He banned users who disagreed with his decision to not restore XP (the site had to be reverted to a previous backup, which was at least a week or so old). He claimed that they were trashing the site and being mean to him but in reality, they were just expressing their opinion. By the way, it’s beyond me why WH wasn’t backed up more frequently.

Out of the many users that he banned, I feel that the most notable ban was Stormgaze. Stormgaze was a notorious member who knew a lot about web design and… well, he wasn’t a moron, so he could see past a lot of Karlos’s BS. And he was vocal about it. Stormgaze ran a blog where he voiced his opinions about current WH happenings, which inspired me to create my own (this is important later). Stormgaze didn’t always see eye to eye with Karlos and was willing to point out his mistakes. I don’t feel that Karlos takes criticism well because Stormgaze eventually got a permanent ban. Stormgaze was a very matter-of-fact person who held an elitist view on the site and his own choices, but he knew his shit. Looking back now, I feel that a lot of his rudeness was just him being an honest person. He saw past the façade that blinded many of us.

As for Karlos’s creepiness? I mean, I can see where you’re coming from, though I don’t think I particularly experienced any of it. I joined the staff team when I was 14 but I lied and said that I was 16 because that was the minimum age requirement after the site’s renovation. (Karlos, if you’re reading this, I’m a really shitty person and I apologize for lying to you. Regardless, I did my job and I did it damn well.) He Skyped me once out of the blue which I found a bit odd, and he had his webcam on and was showing me stuff around his room. I definitely glorified him a lot back then, so I was just excited that the site owner was talking to me personally. I don’t think he meant anything of it but it came across as really weird, especially given that I was only 16 when that happened, and he was at least 21 or 23.

Before I forget about Karlos’s extensive dating profile, remember how he used the donation money to visit his girlfriend in the United States in 2011 or 2012? The donation money that was supposed to partially be donated to a local animal shelter, and the rest was supposed to go towards hosting the site? Yeah. I can tell you now that WH has had an immense profit and it STILL somehow makes a profit because people upload multiple characters to the site. Customs cost around $10-12 and there are over 3,000 of them on-site. Many members also purchased Points to spend on leveling up their wolf and to buy artwork from other members. Do the math, and Karlos makes a royal shitton.

But does anyone remember how he put the website up for sale a few years ago and immediately removed the listing when users found out? He later denied any allegations, but I think selling the website would have been his best bet.

I’ve saved the best content for last, which is the knowledge that I have because I was a staff member. I have never kept my opinions a secret, and I’ve always been honest. Here’s where my blog becomes important: I had a WH blog where I discussed what was going on with the site after updates, gave opinions on community events, and so on. After 1.3, Karlos asked me to remove an article that critiqued his inactivity because it made him look bad. I obliged, but I felt that it was majorly fucked up. I knew that if I didn’t remove the article, he would remove me from staff. I was a new moderator with 1.3 and it was something that I worked hard for, so I was not willing to give it up.

I’m not really sure where to start. I hold a personal grudge against Karlos because I was on staff for the longest time, yet three other moderators received promotions to admin before me. Sheri was one of my good friends and she did the job well, and I’m not sure how Fang still manages to have so much passion for the site, but I respect her immensely for that (although I don’t know why she’s still wasting her time; WH is not a relevant website at this point). I always amounted their promotions to personal bonds that they had, and I was never that upset because I can entirely understand why someone would want to promote a friend. What I will never forgive Karlos for is making Jekyll a mod and an admin and choosing her to run the site. Jekyll was a rude member before she became a mod, and she was even ruder with a blue name. I turned in complaints about her behavior numerous times, and other members came to me because she was so awful to them. He always claimed that he would talk to her about her behavior but he never did. I later found out that Jekyll and Karlos were so close because Jekyll was working on Cervidae with him. Instead of creating art for WH, they made art for Cervidae. We had a staff forum where multiple artists, including Jekyll, claimed different animals to work on. Miraculously, they were never finished. Jek and Karl (more like Jekyll and Hyde) were pouring all of their energy into this deer RPG thing that never actually opened up to the public. Amazing concept, but it was executed poorly. And instead of ending WH or passing it on to someone who was capable of handling it, he put Jekyll in charge. She is the most unprofessional person that I know. Have you read the news posts? Her grammar is absurd, she unnecessarily capitalizes random words, and she just… oh my, it irks me to no end. The FRONT OF THE WEBSITE is unprofessional. Who wants to join a website where the news is updated after months and it isn’t even typed correctly? Having someone represent your website who can’t even hold a normal full-time job is really embarrassing. But maybe that’s why they got along so well! /shrug

Jek was awful with how she treated the members. We never had any protocols to follow when giving users PM warnings or mutes or bans; there was no structure so we were all doing different things. Jek would mute someone for having stolen artwork on their profile, whereas I would PM the user, explain why the artwork was considered stolen, and add it to their user notes. I brought this issue up multiple times and was told by Fang that I was actually the one in the wrong. ??? That’s so corrupt that it’s ridiculous. None of these people knew how to be a moderator. It is beyond me why someone should be muted because they broke a rule they probably didn’t even understand. The point of being a moderator is to help users to understand the rules, not to be Hitler and swing your banhammer around willy-nilly. That’s probably why I never got along with anyone on the staff team, though.

Oh, and the staff panel was broken for years. When a post was reported and you clicked on the post link, you’d get “HTTPS” in the URL bar twice, so the link would be invalid. I’m sorry, but as a staff member, I should not have to manually type in a reported post just to handle it. The fact that he couldn’t even add a simple fix to the mod CP was really offputting and made me realize that I was working for someone who didn’t care about me. We didn’t get any compensation for our work until someone suggested it in 2013. Our compensation was 5 free customs because we were staff. Cool.

It was a very hard decision for me to leave the team, but I realized that WH was not the site it once used to be and it was never going to be fixed. I was not comfortable working for Jekyll because I don’t think she has a thousand competent brain cells and she’s just not an enjoyable person to be around. It was exhausting to work for a website and try to make progressive movements, only to be shot down and ignored. I begged Karlos to get new animal artwork. I begged him to update the mod panel. To fix the referral system… nothing was ever done. I had to accept with a heavy heart that he was never going to change, and the website would never amount to much. The community is dead. All of my friends left or were banned after the hack. I hated the people I worked with; there was nothing to keep me there.