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Illumina anthology still my favorite tsfh album ever
#years ago i saw someone say the thing about their music was that after a while it just all started sounding the same#and at the time my reaction to this was basically ‘lol well that’s wrong’ but then after a while it Was kind of like. okay i hear it now#and i haven’t listened to their music for ages but illumina…i’ll still listen to that#literally that album has some of the most hauntingly beautiful songs i’ve ever heard it’s NOTHING like any of their other music#even now years later it still makes me feel shrimp emotions#could’ve been… you walk this earth alone… DOWN… what were they on for this album specifically
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ASK FRIDAY - CREATE A SCENARIO: roommates trope with Kylo
Due to some last minute room swapping and late registering Reader and Kylo end up in the same dorm but they're mad about it and hate each other (cue intense sexual tension)
Dorm room, Snowed in, evening time like 6
The heater/power has just gone out and Kylo knows a few ways to get warm...only if Readers up for it...
been working on this for FOREVER ANON.
I loved it!
Crushed
TW: NSFW, dirty talk, dom/sub vibes, exhibitionism, kinda fluff, Kylos not that nice and is an entitled man.
Oh yeah, you fuckin’ slut.
Yes-Yes-Yes!
‘M gonna cum all over your fucking tits.
You slapped the wall next to your bed, hard.
“Can you guys keep it down! It’s 1 in the morning!”
Muffled voices came through the paper-thin wall, sounding like bodies moving to the floor. Good, you thought, at least he will get rug burn from the shitty carpet, might keep him from fucking everything that moves.
A hard knock on the wall pulled you from that thought.
“Go read your fucking Bible! I’m trying to get my dick wet!”
“Please!”
“Why don’t you go get fucked!?”
Some giggled came through next, followed by more muffled whispering. You whined loudly, trying to ignore the sounds of him fucking whatever bimbo your dormmate had in his lair. Shoving your face into your pillow, muffling your tears and wails.
You turned on your TV, drowning out the final act of his performance. Fingers poised over your keyboard to file another noise complaint with the RA… not like they ever helped you. The last time they intervened they left with a black eye and broken nose, shrugging for you to sort it out yourselves.
A door slammed shut, you let out a sigh of relief.
At least he wasn’t a cuddler.
You climbed out of bed, tip-toeing to your door to take a peek of whatever slut found her way into his room this evening. The special lady was a new cinderella every fucking week, he didn’t even try to know their names. You heard him admit it once in class to his friends, saying he called them all ‘baby’ so he wouldn’t have to learn.
You peeked out the door, blinking from the harsh fluorescent lighting of your dingy dorm halls. The walls were a screaming white, yellowing from years of shoddy cleaning. You tried to clean your room when you first came to school, but it was too disgusting.
A non-smoking dorm, ha. Everyone smoked, especially your neighbor.
“Shouldn’t you be in bed creeper?”
You jumped at his voice, exhaling harshly through your nose. You steeled your features, caught red-handed looking for his latest prey. Crossing your arms defensively, not that there was anything to hide. You were in your ratty pj’s, they were on sale at Old Navy a few years ago and you never threw them away even though they barely fit anymore.
“If you’re so interested in being a cuck,” he grinned at you, flashing his crooked teeth, “I would love to have you over for an encore, I’m sure you’d love to watch me in action.”
“Buzz off, Ren.”
“Ooo, angry tonight,” he smirked, now stepping out of his door frame. You choked a little at his appearance, no shirt on, basketball shorts barely hanging off his hips. Dangerously low, seriously, if he took one wrong move they would be on the floor. His chest was covered in fresh scratch marks, no doubt from his latest victim, a sheen of sweat glistening under the lights.
Fuck, he was good-looking.
But he was terrible.
“Ahem,” he cleared his throat, daring you to stare back at him.
You gulped, caught again. You were better than that, you were just tired from being kept up since ten with his version of ‘love-making’.
“My eyes are up here cupcake,” he stepped forward. Pushing you back into your doorframe, almost inside your sanctuary. “If you ever decide you want to break your vow of chastity, I’m right next door.”
“Step away from me, Kylo.”
He cocked his brow, “I love when you’re mean, come on. Let’s see if kitty has claws.”
You bared your teeth, fists balling under your underarms, “Not even if you were the last man on Earth.”
He shrugged, backing away from you.
“Deal, bitch.”
You moved to shut your door on him, “Go away.”
“See you in class, bright and early.”
------
When you imagined leaving for college, it was different.
Saying goodbye to your parents, packing your car with whatever small valuables you owned. Determined to make a name for yourself all the way across the country, no friends or family, truly on your own. You imagined everything would be different, the dorm would be filled with new and friendly faces.
RA’s greeting you as you parked outside, giving you a tour and maybe a group lunch with all your floormates. Getting to know each other, maybe even going to some new-student orientation event they planned for the newbies.
Classes were smooth, acing all your major requirements. Professors were kind and ready to help you at any moment, letting your artistic vision flow through your body every morning with your 8 AM yoga class.
But no.
Instead, you registered late.
Your classes all at the worst times, bright and early.
Second rate dorm, COED even… smelly dudes between your single bedroom which would be better defined as a broom closet. Burping and fucking on both sides of you while you tried to study. Your major requirement classes were boring and filled with pretentious art students who thought they were the next Picasso.
Professors didn’t care if you lived or died, only focusing on the bell schedule because they couldn’t control what the freshmen did in their classes.
Your options for clubs were limited, either join a sport or a cult.
And worst of all.
Kylo Ren.
He was your neighbor, signed up late just like you. You actually arrived at the same time, he pushed you down on your ass in the lobby so he could be checked in first. Calling you a clumsy bitch, only for you both to be handed keys to the same floor. Right next to each other, sharing a flimsy wall.
On top of that, he was an art major like you.
And since he registered late, he was in almost every class.
Even yoga!
He took your mat the first day, leaving you in tears in the hallway. He apologized afterward, handing it back to you before storming off to be with his beefy upper-class friends. Any moment he could, Ren would humiliate you. Trying to push your buttons, whistling at you when you had to cross the hallway to the showers. Tripping you when you had your hands full, making fun of you for hanging out with your sparse group of friends.
And when he found out you were annoyed with him making noise, he latched onto it.
One week he decided to recite the entire Phantom of the Opera, just because you mentioned in class that you loved that play.
He did every part, even the musical scores, you could’ve sworn he did it with a megaphone on the wall, just to spite you.
Your parents told you ‘he just likes you, he’s a boy.’
No!
That’s not how people express feelings, at least not healthy people.
Your alarm clock blared on your nightstand, you didn’t sleep so it didn’t bother you. Letting out a heavy sigh of defeat, Ren ruined another night for you, a night you’d never get back. Of precious, precious sleep that you desperately deserved.
Slipping on some plum leggings and a sports bra. No one gave a fuck about your outfit in your early morning class, as long as you went with clothes on. You popped on your headphones, trying to drone out the noise of Ren’s music through the wall. He liked to blast some god-awful music every morning.
Today, it was an old Black Veil Brides album!
You made it out of the dining hall, snatching a muffin for breakfast. Smiling at some guys you knew, waving at your friend Rose as you stormed off to the gym. The cold chill of Winter biting at your nose, it was too cold to not wear a full outfit. But there was no time, with Ren keeping you up all night and classes back to back, you didn’t have time to fuck around with dressing up.
Ren ran in after you, laughing with his friends. Big nose all red from the frost, his hair looked frozen to his scalp, probably showered beforehand. You rolled out your mat, trying to stretch while he bragged about the pussy he got last night. Making a big show of your complaining, saying you were desperate to fuck him based on your whining.
You rolled your eyes when he planted next to you, “Good morning, you ran out in a hurry.”
“I didn’t want to be late,” you sneered, not giving him the time of day, still stretching your back into child's-pose.
“How are we supposed to walk together if you run away from me, cupcake?”
You scoffed, shooting him an icy glare. Despite him grinning at you like the happiest man on Earth, god, you needed to stop giving him a reaction. That would shut him up if you didn’t give him the attention he is clearly lacking from his parental figures.
“Good morning class,” your teacher greeted you calmly, “I hope you’re all doing well. As you all know, this next week is finals week, I’m offering makeup classes to those of you who need to make up some credit hours. We are also hosting some meditation if you need time to relax between classes.”
Next to you, Ren leaned towards your mat, setting his hand right behind your back. You didn’t have to open your eyes to know he was hovering. Ready to devour you like a piece of meat.
“Hey,” he chuckled.
You stayed quiet, pushing back into his arm so he would move. Ren stayed put, purring in your ear, “Did you sleep well?”
“Move off my mat, Ren.”
He smirked down at you, “You seem stressed, do you want me to help by fucking your brains out.”
You shot off your mat, effectively knocking him onto his back. Laughing loudly in a relatively silent room of students trying to center themselves. He grinned from the floor, hands up in the air in defense, “I’m just offering to help you, Jesus!”
“Just,” you pointed in his face, hair falling out of your ponytail. Everyone was staring at you, even your instructor. Shocked you were yelling, you barely spoke in class, at the scariest person in your class.
“Just, leave me alone.”
------
Ren avoided you for the rest of the week, mostly.
Still had his nightly fuck-more subdued though, you had on noise-canceling headphones to try and focus on studying. There were still so many classes to get to, and you wouldn’t be finished until the day before Winter break… you were desperate to get this over with.
You missed your family, the plane ticket itself cost you a whole month of meals.
Of course, you would do fine in your classes, it was just the motivation to get there. Every morning you glared at Ren when he greeted you in yoga, still standing next to you like a menacing shadow.
This morning was no different, only you skipped class to study in the library. Bundled up in your winter coat, long black scarf, hair in a lazy braid, and thermal leggings on. The wind had picked up last night, bringing on an ice storm that wasn’t expected until late next week. You walked on treacherous sidewalks, dodging all the other students who were seeking the warmth of the library.
You settled inside, sprawling your books and laptop on an old desk. Grabbing out a few sketch pads so you could finish up some pieces that were due in a couple hours. Most of your finals in art were ‘unconventional’ which meant the professor wanted to see what you were motivated to work on during the year.
For yours, you had decided to draw the people you saw on campus.
Studying their faces, mannerisms, languages while they were in an organic environment. It was a great piece, and one of your professors was very interested in showcasing it in a show. You were proud, it wasn’t large but it was important for you and you wanted it to be perfect before turning it in.
Your pastels were spread out, fingertips smudged and stained from charcoal, a few lines on your face and brow from forgetting about the streaks. There was this one person you couldn’t finish, it was one of your friends from last week. She was laughing and holding a drink, the expression wide and full of emotion but it was hard for you to capture without her being there.
But you steeled yourself, you weren’t leaving this spot until you finished her.
“You smudged that dude's face,” a low voice rumbled behind you. A finger pointing down at the top left corner, “Stop-don’t touch it.”
You moved to swat the hand away, not wanting some random guy to ruin your piece with their grubby fingers. Recentering yourself, he wasn’t smudged, he was just in the corner so it looked like it wasn’t finished… what did he know, anyway?
“You didn’t draw me?”
Now you stopped, why you didn’t recognize the timbre of his voice was ridiculous.
You let out a long sigh, “Please, don’t touch the canvas, Kylo. It’s not ready, yet.”
The chair that housed your backpack slid out next to you, your things tossed on the ground carelessly before Ren sat. You scooted away from him, he smelled like he just showered. Judging by his wet hair you were probably right… “What are you doing?”
He shrugged, fiddling with one of your notebooks. Flipping through pages carelessly, “I don’t know-you weren’t in yoga so.”
“So,” you gave him a weird look, “You stalked me to the library?”
“There’s no reason to go to yoga if I can’t bother you,” he flashed a smile, dropping it slightly when he saw you weren’t playing back with him.
Silence fell over you both, the only noises the heat kicking in around the scuffling of boots and shoes to face the weather again.
“I like your piece,” he gestured to your work, “For drawing, right?”
You nodded stiffly, not enjoying his friendly tone. Like he wasn’t your demon neighbor who made it his job to annoy you and had for the past four months of your life. Ren shifted again, now leaning on the table with his cheek resting on his forearm. Looking at you with wide eyes, you never took the time to look at his face.
He had very large eyes that betrayed his emotions. Swimming with flecks of auburn, gold, and some streaks of green, blinking slowly as he studied your canvas. You looked away from him, trying to ignore the urge to draw them, how his long lashes rivaled your own. How his skin was freckled with beauty marks, creases from frowning lined his forehead and nose. You could even make out his stubble, some pieces he must’ve missed the last time he shaved.
You went back to drawing, no longer focusing on it. Just trying to understand what was happening, your tormentor was a foot away from you. Breathing calmly like a cat laying in a patch of sun. Hunched over the edge, torso too long to rest like a normally proportioned human being, had he always been this big?
“Wanna get coffee before class?”
“Huh?”
You blinked slowly, not registering that he spoke to you.
Ren leaned off, letting out a big yawn and scratching the back of his neck.
Yes, definitely a cat.
“Do you want to get coffee,” he stared blankly, “Before we head to English?”
You looked down at your mess, then back up at him. Shaking your head softly, voice quiet as a mouse, “No-thank you.”
He exhaled harshly, “I’m not gonna burn you with it, it’s just coffee.”
“No, I’m fine,” you said firmer, “I wanna work on this some more.”
Ren stayed still, probably trying to think of a way to get you to agree with him. You had known him long enough to know he doesn’t like people disagreeing with him. Didn’t have to be a college graduate to see that the man had issues with control, hence terrorizing you all semester. You didn’t want to offer him an olive branch, because he was just doing it as a joke. Probably, waiting until you were calm around him to do something cruel.
You went back to drawing, listening to him get up and leave you. Mumbling something under his breath about ‘trying to be nice’ before walking out. You shook off the awkwardness, not willing to break down and let him do something nice for you, just because he didn’t ruin your final piece didn’t mean he wouldn’t do something in the future.
The day was still young.
------
Oddly enough, Ren didn’t bother you that evening.
Not even a door slam!
You almost thought he was dead, but you saw him in the hallway when you were walking to the bathroom. Wrapped in your robe, caddy in hand, he didn’t whistle or try to touch your ass like he normally did. Just a stale smile before closing himself back in his room.
Not to waste the precious quiet, you went to work packing your bags for your trip tomorrow. Deciding to do a quick load of laundry, your hall was almost empty, so no one would be down there while you waited.
Piling up your hamper, you threw your pj's and slippers on. Remembering to grab a blanket and your laptop so you could hang out down there while you waited.
Your friends back home were all excited to see you, ready to hear all about your time away. The boys you met, friends you made, classes, all that. So excited to get home and see your cat, Gremlin, he was all alone without you. Your mom sent you pictures earlier of him curled in your blankets, saying that he knew you were coming home soon.
Maybe next Fall you could get an apartment, you didn’t want to leave him for another year.
A washing machine door slammed shut next to you, causing you to jump from your perch atop your own. Faced with Ren, who was doing his laundry in his pjs, or his version of pjs. Giving you another tight-lipped smile before leaning against the far wall. Yawning loudly before sliding down the wall to sit on the floor.
You ignored him, turning back to your laptop that was playing a crime documentary. Texting some friends to keep your mind from wandering to Ren and why he was in such a mood.
“Are you leaving tomorrow?” Ren called from his wall.
You pretended to not hear him, refocusing on the documentary, there was something very interesting happening and you weren’t about to miss how they found the killer's shoe prints in the mud just because Ren was trying to talk to you.
Then something was thrown at you, and it smelled awful.
“Oh-my-god!”
You shot off the washing machine, throwing down the offending garment. Ren was laughing loudly, “Chill out! It was just an old shirt!”
“How old was it?!”
He smiled at you from the ground, propping an elbow on his kneecap. One leg stretched out on the tile, you tried to regain a sense of calm, he was just messing with you again. Just take some deep breaths… in-out-in
“Are you leaving tomorrow, after our final?”
You let out your deep breath, sitting back on the washer. “Yeah,” you paused your show since mister meanie wanted to have a tea party. “I have to get to the airport right after.”
He hummed, “Same.”
The washer beeped loudly, echoing in the otherwise empty room. Ren watched you hop off, fixing your shorts which definitely rode up too much. Trying to not flash him your underwear as you bent to move your clothes to a dryer. You cursed when a sock fell from your pile, great.
“How come we’ve never fucked?”
Now all your clothes were on the floor.
Along with Ren, who was staring at you like you were an art exhibit.
You dragged your clothes back to the washer. There was no way you were finishing now that they touched the dirty floor, no one cleaned down here and just because it looked clean didn’t mean-
A whistle, “You good over there?”
“Yup.”
“Okay,” you heard him stretch, popping his joints as he lifted off the floor. You could feel his breath on the back of your neck as he closed in. Almost touching you, no escape, “As I was saying, how come you’ve never let me steal your virginity?”
You scoffed, “I am not a virgin.”
Ren pressed into you, pushing you against the washer now. Grinding his hips into your own, you squirmed, trying to dispel every fantasy flooding your brain. Every night you spent listening to him through the wall, imagining just once that it was you. If he weren’t such a monster, you would have gladly laid on your back and let him do whatever he wanted.
“Nothing?”
You took a deep breath, placing both palms on the top of the washer. Biting your lip as you silently pleaded for him to let you go, but also continue. You could smell his cologne from this close, how it complimented him so well. Mixing in with his dark aura, you wanted nothing more than to spin around and…
Soon you were doing just that, but not on your own violation.
Ren had his hands grasping your hips, thumbs slipping under the fabric of your t-shirt to caress your soft skin. Lips capturing your own, you froze in his hold. Unsure of what to do, a part of you wanted to scream and smack him, but the other part loved the smell of his toothpaste.
He relaxed when you relaxed, your lips still awkwardly locked together. Not opening and allowing for more, but not moving away either. You stared at him, startled to see him looking back at you. Pulling back slightly, you watched his face chase yours. Bringing your lips together a few more times, kissing at the seam.
You felt his tongue flick for entry, trying to pry your mouth open so he could explore. When you didn’t move he finally huffed in annoyance, “I know it’s your first kiss, but you’re supposed to open your mouth.”
You groaned, bringing both hands to cradle his cheeks. There was no way he was going to make fun of you, he initiated this so.
Ren made a muffled noise when you pressed your lips back together. Probably of shock and surprise, because, no. This was not your first kiss, not even your fourth or fifth kiss. Working your tongue skillfully into his mouth, you moaned softly at his taste. Just like you imagined… not that you put much stock into this but… it was wonderful.
Bringing your fingers to the nape of his neck, tugging on his dark brown hair. Just like you always wanted to, whenever he walked past you with it tied in a bun you dreamt of tearing through it. Ren returned your affection in kind, his left hand moving to the small of your back. Fingers dancing under the waistband of your pajama bottoms.
You heard him swear when he felt the lace underneath, nestled between your cheeks. Ren slid a hand over the globes of your ass, moving his hips in time with his tongue. Tasting every inch of your mouth, even growling in approval when you sunk your teeth into his bottom lip.
Petting and groping each other against the washing machines, the sound of you swapping spit barely heard over the rumble of your clothes. Ren had gotten sick of grinding against your hip bone, pulling away from you for a moment. Shushing your pathetic whimpers, he hooked the hand not cupping your ass behind your left knee.
Hiking it over his hip, opening your legs up. Allowing him to assault your center with his straining erection, oh you could picture it now. How easy it would be to just let him slip inside you.
Right here, in the laundry room.
*Beep*
You pulled back roughly, barely able to unsuction your lips from Rens' own. A string of spit connecting your kiss-bitten lips, he looked at you with pleading eyes. Grinding himself against you harder, pulling a few soft mewls from your throat.
“I need to switch my clothes,” you croaked.
He nodded, shakily setting your limb back on the floor and backing away. You watched through your own lust-filled state as he trembled. Walking back to his far wall, a hand cupping his cock through his sweats. Your throat clicked as you took in a much-needed breath, doing what you said you would.
Setting them in the dryer, all the more aware of his eyes watching your every move.
Not sparing him a glance when you sat back on the washer.
Turning on your laptop once again to watch your crime documentary.
Ignoring the throbbing between your legs, his deep breaths, and your shaking limbs.
------
The TV’s at the airport all said the same thing, “Record snowfall this winter, right before the holidays! Experts say that we will be lucky to keep power until it passes. Our friends on the west coast are enjoying a white Christmas, while we’re stuck in the North Pole.”
All flights have been grounded until further notice.
Stuck.
You could barely make it back to your dorm without crashing.
Bursting into tears several times when you realized you wouldn’t be home until it was over. Wouldn't be able to safely leave your dorm room until it passed, leaving you utterly alone.
You had emailed your RA letting him know your bad luck, he let the staff know you’d be there so they would have food and water running still.
But other than that, this was your holiday.
You slipped on the walk up to your room, sobbing loudly in the halls as you clutched your luggage. No going home, no seeing your friends or family, no Christmas dinner, no personal shower, no Gremlin to sleep on your face.
Collapsing on your bed, curling yourself in the multitude of pillows and blankets that adorned it. The room had shitty heating, the entire building had shitty heating. The entire month of December you’d been freezing, and no amount of personal heaters could fix this kind of cold.
You drifted off to sleep after crying for a few hours, letting your parents know what was happening. Setting alerts for earlier flights, anything you could do to get home. You were so tired in fact, that you slept through a power outage. Leaving the entire building to shut down, no backup generators.
And no heat.
It wasn’t until you felt yourself being lifted that you woke up to the commotion.
Squirming in the kidnappers' arms, limbs aching from freezing for a time in your bedroom. The window must’ve cracked open because it was much colder than when you arrived. Your attacker didn’t let you go, growling in your ear to be still.
Dragging you out of the building, towards a car you didn’t notice when you pulled in. With the snow swirling all around, it was a miracle they could see their own vehicle. You were thrown in the front seat, followed by your luggage tossed in the back. You stayed still, every time you moved it hurt, hypothermia. Common in the New England storms if you were foolish enough to be outside…
You about passed out when the driver's side door opened, Ren climbed in. Looking just as frozen as you, slamming the door shut and mumbling something as he started his car. You could’ve cried when the engine turned, heat blasting between the both of you.
“Hands,” his teeth chattered, holding his own out. He nodded for you to do the same, grasping your pink fingers between his own and blowing on them. “Power went out,” Ren took a shallow breath, “I was leaving and I saw your car. You were almost frozen to your bed, the window broke.”
“Th-thank you-u-u.”
Ren cringed at your fingers, slowly gaining back their normal color. “I tried to grab everything I could, like your backpack and luggage. But we can’t stay there, we’ll fucking freeze.”
You nodded, tugging your hands away to curl into your chest. Thankful that Ren had enough sense to grab blankets, stuffing them in your lap from the backseat. You thought about grabbing your phone, but you could barely make a fist so it would do you no good.
“My plane g-g-got ground-d-ed.”
Ren shivered, nodding sharply, “Mine too, my mom got me a hotel room not far from here to stay until the storm passes. So, I’m taking us there.”
“Okay.”
You didn’t say anything else, not wanting to distract him from the treacherous roads. Thank god he had a Jeep, or else you would’ve died. You couldn’t see more than ten feet ahead, less than that when you were on the highway out of the city.
Ren kept mumbling things like it’s okay, I’m sorry, I know it's cold, whenever you shivered and took in sharp breaths. You must’ve been out for a while, to get this bad. A quick look at the clock in his car said you’d been asleep for three hours, who knows what would’ve happened if he hadn’t noticed your car…
He helped you out, more carried you, towards the check-in desk. Too worried you would pass out in the car if he left you for too long, the front desk lady was quick and sweet. Making sure to send up extra blankets and pillows to your suite. Ren had you walk up with him, so he wouldn’t have to carry you and the luggage on separate trips.
You clutched his hand like a child, tight enough for his knuckles to turn white. But he was so warm, it’s all you could think about. All you wanted was to be warm, nodding blindly to whatever Ren said to do.
Plug your phone in, check.
Let him talk to your mom, check.
Draw a bath for you, check.
Climb in the bath with you, double-check.
It wasn’t until you were defrosted in the clawfoot tub that you realized you were naked with him.
Rens chest against your back, holding you like his life depended on it. Judging by his shaking, you both were probably suffering from acute hypothermia. You had been silent for so long your voice spooked him a little, “Thank you.”
He hummed into your hair, which was sitting on top of your head in a messy bun. “Are you okay?”
You nodded slowly, “Can we go lay down?”
“Yeah,” Ren hastily got out of the tub, draining it and wrapping you in plush towels. You were still too cold to blush from your nakedness, not how you pictured this going. You imagined you would finally give into him on some drunken party night, barely remembering his reaction to seeing you nude.
But now he had seen you half-frozen, forced to cradle you back to life.
------
You squinted from your cocoon, greeted by a dimly lit room.
One spare lamp on a dingy-looking nightstand, well it wasn’t terrible. It was better than your nightstand in your dorm room… where was your dorm room anyway?
Something vibrated behind you, followed by a heavyweight sprawling against your back.
You held your breath, you were in a hotel.
With a stranger.
“Shit,” you whispered.
Okay, you could wiggle out of here. You took a moment to study the room, there was the lamp from before, and some curtains on a metal rod in the far corner. If you managed to get out without being detected you could knock out the assailant.
“You smell so good.”
More weight settled on you, now you were trapped. This bear was closing in, who knows what happened while you were asleep! All you could remember was falling asleep at your dorm after the upsetting trip to the airport, then being dragged away.
Your fingers burning when you tried to use them, being shoved in a car…
Kylo.
“Kylo?!”
“Mhm.”
You threw your arms up, successfully throwing him off you and the covers. Your limbs screaming at the sudden movement, you were still suffering from the cold. Next to you, curled in a ball, totally catlike, was Ren.
A sleepy smile gracing his lips, hands curled under his cheek, and legs moving towards his chest, Like a child under a blanket. You gasped when you saw he was naked, “Fuck!”
You were too.
“What the fuck, Ren!?”
“Stop yelling,” you watched his hand bat his nose like an animal, “Come back, you were warm.”
You huffed, flailing off the bed in search of your bags.
Memories flooding back to you, he took you here after saving your life.
The bath.
Ugh, bad time to remember your kiss the night before.
Ren sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes and blinking slowly. You flushed red when you looked between his legs, shit. How does he walk around with that? Is that why he has bad posture? You choked on your spit when he spread his legs out.
Sprawling completely on the mattress like he wasn’t in a room with a stranger.
“Snow hasn’t stopped,” Ren yawned, snapping a hand and pointing between his legs, “Come back.”
“I’m not doing anything until you have clothes on.”
He rolled his eyes, now looking you up and down. Focusing on your bare tits, swinging around with your erratic movements. You watched him lick his lips, wagging his eyebrows, “Come on, don’t you want to sit back on the bed?”
You shook your head, crouching down to your bag. Trying to not flash him more of your goods, but that didn’t work. Not with him leaning to the side of the bed to make a show of him peeping on you.
A wolfish grin splitting his face, “You have a nice ass.”
“Can you stop,” you huffed, tugging on some sweats you found.
Ren made a pouting noise when you stood, pushing his bottom lip out while you threaded your arms through a t-shirt. You shivered a little-it was still freezing in the room. Probably from the weather, it sounded like it got worse… hopefully this place would keep power.
You looked back at the bed, Ren was still manspreading. One of his large paws crawling towards his cock, watching you with the same smirk. He let out a soft sigh when he touched himself, eyes momentarily shutting in bliss.
“Do you have to do that with me here?”
He cracked an eye open, “Do you have to be that far away?”
You scoffed, moving to the corner of the room. Shivering since you were near the window, you plopped down in the cheap armchair. Ignoring the sounds of his fist gliding along his cock, you tucked your feet under your body. Humming a tune to ignore the arousal growing between your legs, there was no way you were caving to him.
What kind of man does that with a complete stranger present!?
More importantly, why was it turning you on?
“Come here,” he whistled, you spared a glance at him. Blushing profusely at the sight, his cock was now fully erect. Standing tall and proud, tip flushed almost purple from want. You quickly looked away, trying to swallow down the drool that gathered in your mouth.
What would happen if you gave in?
Not like it would hurt you… he looked so delicious.
“If I come over there, what's gonna happen,” you whispered, determined to stay put.
With a deep breath, the mattress groaned under his weight, probably leaning back to get comfortable. He seemed to love you being there, watching him, or trying not to. Ren made a small non-committal scoff, “Whatever you want to happen, baby.”
“Don’t call me that, you know my name.”
“Meow.”
Your head snapped towards him, met with his grin. “Come on-you really want me to do this by myself?” he waved his cock, fist tight around the base. You rolled your eyes, training your eyes to focus on the least attractive part about him.
You were coming up empty, all you could stare at was his cock.
The prominent vein along the underside thrumming in time with his heartbeat. You could practically feel it along your tongue, rigid and stiff. Slowly, you stood from the chair, met with a soft whine from Ren. Eying your hungrily as you sauntered over, you planted a knee in the mattress.
Between his legs, which were spread obscenely wide, he licked his lips in anticipation.
“If I help you, are you going to be nicer to me?”
He nodded, chest taking in sharp breaths. You slowly leaned back on your heels, stripping your top off, despite him seeing you naked earlier. Surprised when he bit his bottom lip, watching you play with your tits, rolling them in the palm of your hand. Just to make him squirm a bit, “I’ll be nicer, whatever you want.”
“I’m really cold still,” you spoke softly, making sure to lean in close enough to graze his lips with your own before pulling away, “Can you help warm me up?”
“Yes,” Ren's hands shot out, kneading your flesh a few times. Debating to grasp your tits or the small of your waist, like a kid in a candy store. So many options, but you didn’t want to wait. If you were doing this, it would be about you.
“Eat me out.”
He stilled, cocking a brow, “Excuse me?”
“You heard me,” you exhaled on his neck, being sure to drag your kitty claws along his chest. Briefly grazing his nipples, savoring the way he gasped. “Eat me out, if you make me cum, I’ll let you fuck me. Like the desperate slut you are.”
Ren scowled for a moment, nudging your face from his neck. Eyes dancing across your face before capturing your lips, moaning softly in your mouth, “I can make you cum so hard you’ll never want another man again.”
You placed a soft kiss, rolling onto your back dramatically. Splaying your legs wide, “If that's true, why do you fuck a different girl every week?”
He growled at you, actually growled.
Hands no longer soft in their quest to memorize your skin, instead Ren pinned your legs hard enough for them to pop. Making you squeal from the stretch, “How fast do you think I can make you cum? Hm?”
Before you could answer, he dove in.
Lips wrapping around your clit and suckling fast, tongue flicking out every few seconds. You were already bucking up to meet him, but his firm hold kept you flush. While his tongue began to lap thick stripes along the seam of your pussy. Briefly hooking the tip into your entrance, both of you moaning when he tasted your wetness.
“Shit-Kylo!”
“Mm,” his voice vibrated against your clit, continuing his assault until you choked on your spit. You buried your fingers in his hair, keeping him in that right spot. “I’m so fucking close,” you cried out, pleading his name over and over and over.
“You know,” he popped off, smacking his lips that were glistening with your cum, “I’d rather you cum on my cock.”
“Wait-”
Ren flipped you onto your chest, yanking your hips into the air. You barely had time to take a breath before he shoved his cock inside you. His breath hitched as he sank to the hilt, you groaned at the stretch. Now this, this you could get used to.
He pulled out slowly, you heard him swear under his breath. Leaving just the tip of his cock inside and ramming his hips into yours. Pulling a loud scream from your lungs, Ren chuckled at that. Pumping his cock at a rough pace, “Shh-you’re going to upset our neighbors.”
You huffed, cheap shot, angling your hips a little so his cock would rub up against your front wall. Moaning when he picked up the pace, skin slapping skin. Ren leaned over your form, planting a hand on the headboard to keep it from knocking. You weakly lifted your head, clenching at the sight of his knuckles turning white.
All you could do was sit and take it, revealing in the bliss you’d denied yourself for four months.
-------
Ren dropped you both off at the airport two days later.
You spent three days together, fucking each other's brains out.
Choking on his cock while he was brushing his teeth, eating you out while you read through your newsfeed. Bouncing on his cock while he fed you breakfast, you didn’t need to change clothes the entire vacation.
But you wanted to go home and were thankful for the storm ending so you could head home. It was a little awkward, Ren wasn’t very excited about the snow stopping. It felt like he was trying to stall you leaving but reluctantly listened to your desire to fly home.
“Got everything?” he mumbled, hitching his backpack over his shoulder. The two of you were waiting in the TSA line, about to part ways to head home. You nodded, giving him a tight smile before stepping up on your own.
Ignoring the feeling of his eyes on the back of your head.
Both of you stood awkwardly after making it through, “Well-my gates over here,” you pointed behind you. Ren hummed in acknowledgment, kicking at the ground instead of looking at you.
“Thanks for letting me crash with you,” you tried again, still nothing.
You groaned, spinning on your heel. Back to being an asshole, you were kicking yourself for thinking he would be nicer. All he wanted was some pussy, and you willingly gave into him when you should’ve remained strong.
Your parents picked you up back at home, lots of tears and laughs were shared. Thankful that you made it home without freezing, your mom was grateful for your friend who saved your life. She wanted to call him and tell him how much she appreciated it but you shrugged it off, he was just being nice. He wasn’t your boyfriend or anything, you left out the part that he was the neighbor you always complained about.
Collapsing on your bed felt surreal like you would wake up and be back in the hotel room at any moment. It was odd not sleeping next to him, you had grown accustomed to his clingy arms. Circling you in the middle of the night when he thought you were dead asleep, smelling your hair before tucking you into his naked chest.
You tossed and turned all night, groaning when you were woken by your siblings to get up the next morning. Barely sleeping a wink, you resolved to take a nap later to try and not spoil your trip back home.
At breakfast, your mom yelled at you from the kitchen.
“Hey hon, someone’s calling you!”
“Just answer it,” you groaned through a mouthful of cereal. Briefly hearing your mother answer in a typical chipper tone, stalling mid-sentence before she yelled again, “It’s someone named Kyle?”
Shit, you shot to the kitchen.
Snatching the phone and escaping to the living room where no one was hiding.
“Kylo?”
Hey, didn’t think you’d answer.
“How’d you get my number?”
Took it while you were napping the other day, I knew you wouldn’t give it to me willingly.
You rolled your eyes, “Alright creeper, what’s up?”
Just wanted to talk or whatever, felt weird not to.
Silence.
Are you gonna let me buy you coffee when we are back?
“You were being serious about that?”
A scoff.
Yeah-or we could just fuck again if that’s all you want from this.
“Coffee sounds good.”
Cool. Cool.
It’s a date.
-------
TAGGING: @finn-ray-nal-beads @onlykyloscenes @candycanes19 @historyandfandoms50 @caelum-phyriina-vermillon @ghoulian13 @mrs-kylo-ren @millenialcatlady @relationshipwithmybed @dancingmicrobes @wayward-rose @contesa-lui-alucard @daydreamsofren @insufferablelust @ohdamnadamm @mariesackler @caillea @safarigirlsp @jalexunderthestars @shesakillerkween @glassythoughts @zimmermansbrat @not-the-teen-witch @jynzandtonic @roanniom @celestiasin @glassbxttless @cornmousequeen @driversmutbucket @blowthatpieceofjunk
#adamdriver#adam driver#kylo ren#anon asked#create a scenerio#modern kylo ren#college kylo ren#roomates trope
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After all this time, always the same
Prompt used- kissing the top of other's head| harry and draco finally meet each other years later at a memorial gallery, discovering some buried promises |
" I actually did not know Colin was this good " Harry said impressed as they walked the gallery
" really, who knew that kid was really good " Ron hummed.
" i miss that kid " Harry said as he drown in reminiscents of everyone who died in the war
" I am sure it would mean a great deal that you're here Harry. He always looked upto to you, he lived a nice life " Denis smiled at harry before he departed to he other batch of visitors. It was almost 10 years after war when one day a bunch of Hogwarts student's had received an invitation to the colin memorial gallery. Dennis, his brother had managed to construct certain photographs Colin had taken before he died and decided to put it into his memorial. Apparently Colin always wanted something like that, but his gallery Would've been incomplete if the people he had photographed had not shown up, so this was the reason why a bunch of Hogwarts student's had been given a free pass as a contribution to his memory. Harry was however saddened by the absence of colin. After all this time he still misses all those who died a lot. He learnt it the hard way that he will probably never forget any of them but he can manage to live with it.
It was however surprising how amazingly brilliant Colin's skills were. Nobody knew he had even taken their pictures secretly and it were all too great.
" hey, theres us " Ron said a little too loudly, much to anyone's liking. Harry gave them all a small apologetic smile before he joined Ron to see the photograph hanging over the wall of him, Ron and Hermione.
" seems like a different era, doesn't it ?" Ron nostalgically said.
Hermione nodded besides him as she put her head over Ron's shoulder. 10 years and they're still in love like they were when they were kids. Harry had always been fond of their relationship, not because it's his friends but because of everything it was built upon, the love they have is just for each other, and there probably had never existed other who had walked upon earth who they'd love them more than they loved each other.
" there's you " Ron suddenly pointed a small picture on the bottom
" oh yeah- that's me " harry carefully looked at his solo photograph. He wasn't particularly attentive, looking in some other direction as if he was watching out for something.
" that's forbidden forest " Hermione peeped carefully at the picture
" It might be the courtyard " Harry interjected as he took a few steps away to look at a few more pictures to avoid their questions.
" but harry I'm sure it's forbidden forest, it's the same place where sir- where you fought those dementors, I'm sure " Hermione egged on
" I'm not saying it might not be, might be. I wandered off a lot during 5th year but I'm pretty sure it must've been just the courtyard, Colin wouldn't probably enter the forest " Harry made a point with raised eyebrows. Hermione didn't seem to believe yet nodded forcefully, dropping the matter.
" there's a tons of pictures of you guys here " Someone said from behind Harry and before he had time to register to who it was, his fingers were already intertwined with someone and by the touch, he just knew it was Ginny.
" well he was quite a fan of me " harry smirked at his fiance.
" but still. It's like you were his personal models. Gotta agree though, he was great " Ginny said as she looked at the wall in front of them.
" he was " Harry hummed and walked alongside the rest of the gallery with them.
It wasn't until Ginny got bored of looking at plain walls just with pictures, she left to chat with other people. Hermione and Ron had collected themselves to the other part of the gallery, conversing with a few people. That meant Harry was left alone and he found it quite relieving even if he loved all of them.
He had reached the last of the gallery when his eyes fell upon the same blonde head he had abstained himself from seeing in years. Hundreds of flashbacks flashed back as he tried not to stare at him. It had been years yet even now if Harry passed by him, he'd know he still smells the same. As if he too had sensed Harry's presence, he looked away from the picture to his direction. They only locked eyes for a moment, a moment of weakness before Harry nodded and walked away. He sighed as he walked away, it has been so long, so long yet this feeling doesn't change. He thought staying away would change but it hadn't helped, not a lot to be precise.
Harry walked away deeper in the gallery until he reached the last of halls and stopped there, right there at the last picture. It was the last picture Colin had clicked after which only his broken camera's were set. Harry would be lying if he said he wasn't stunned to see the last picture. It was so weirdly ironic how the last photograph from Colin's collection was the picture marked with the symbolic representation of end of certain other things. Harry longingly stared at the picture, the moment running on his mind like a music reel
" this seems nice doesn't it ?" He asked
" it's more than nice Draco " Harry had replied
" Harry- i-" but he closed his mouth
" what ?" Harry asked him to continue when he was rendered speechless
" nothing " Draco sighed as he leaned back on the tree
" go on, tell me " Harry said as he climbed forward towards him
Draco stared at him long enough as though he was memorising harry deep within his heart.
" you're going to love me the same, right ?" He finally asked.
Harry stared at him, more confused than ever before he cupped Draco's face and said " of course Draco, always the same way "
" even if I do the most wrong in the world ?" Draco asked a strange shadow of sadness covering his eyes, obstructing Harry from reading his eyes.
" you- I- I-"
" it's hard to say ?" Draco asked almost hurt
" Draco, I believe you. I love you, I'll always love you the same way but the definition of most wrong depends on a lot of things but I believe in you, I know you wouldn't do anything that would be the most wrong thing to me in the world" Harry gave him a comforting smile . When Draco didn't say anything he climbed into Draco's lap and rested his head against his Chest, hearing the rapid heartbeats.
" you're afraid of something Draco " Harry said as he analysed his heart rate
" I'm afraid of the ruins " Draco truthfully answered because he was aware of everything he was supposed to be doing.
" ruins ?" Harry asked confused, craning his neck up to look at him, only to find Draco looking far away. He seemed lost.
" we can never be wholly together Harry, I'm always afraid, every moment of my life when I'm with you..I'm afraid you'll wake up from this dream and realise it's all ruins " Draco answered, his lips trembling a bit. Harry snuggled in closer to his chest, he knew he was right..
" you're not a ruined man Draco and this isn't ruins to me " Harry Answered
" am I not ?" Draco asked looking hurt
" y- you're not a ruined man but even if you are, you are my ruined man and I promise to love you the same way, everyday even if this doesn't work out, you get me ?" Harry asked empathetically.
" you must be a fool to fall in love with me " Draco finally said after a few minutes smiling down at harry.
Sensing the light tone Harry smiled up at him " then I am your fool "
" I'd rather never wake up from this dream " Draco smiled at harry lovingly then kissed on the top of his head and just then they heard a shuttering sound, startling them awake from their moment.
If only harry had known what was to happen, he'd had never gotten up and ran for the sound but he had and it had ruined millions of memories that could've been made.
" it's a beautiful picture" a familiar voice said behind Harry. He didn't need to turn around to know who it belonged to, he had grown up Being fond of it.
" while It lasted " Harry replied turning his head to find Draco was now standing next to him
" broken promises, some thing huh"
" I know I kept mine " Harry whispered avoiding looking Draco in the eye
" did you ?" Draco retaliated
" I always did " Harry replied more seriously now than before.
" oh hey, it's the same picture from your albums Harry- didn't see you there malfoy, g-good to see you " Ron suddenly appeared from behind them
" you never really talk about him. One boyfriend huh " Ron added Patting Harry on his back.
" it's because of the ruins " Harry replied smiling at Ron.
Draco turned his head towards Harry that it almost snapped. Harry had already been looking at him when he did, and for a moment just for a moment, everything had vanished from the room except them. The people here didn't matter, it was just them, finally away in their isolation Just with each other without their ruins. It was a moment of weakness where they smiled at each other knowingly that after all this time, always the same.
" Harry, it's your boyfriend from sixth year, the one in the album-"
" Draco, it's the picture from the album, your boyfriend-"
Astoria and Ginny's simultaneously said.
Requests open
Day 25- perfect birthday plans | Day 27- Harry's dance partner
#drarry#harry potter#drarry incorrect quotes#draco x harry#hp fandom#harry james potter#drarry prompt#draco is gay#harry potter fanfiction#draco malfoy#drarry squad#drarry stuff#drarry ship#drarry fluff#drarry fic rec#drarry fic idea#drarry incorrect posts#drarry ficlet#drarry fandom#drarry fic#drarry ao3#drarry au#drarry drabble challenge#drarry drabble#draco malfoy headcanon#harry potter headcanon
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Man Made of Stone: Chapter Seven
Previous Next
Pairing: Horacio Carrillo x Reader
Summary: There’s nothing for you here.
Rating: R
Warnings/notes: swearing; alcohol consumption; inebriation; canon-typical violence; some smooches; no I will not be taking questions about Javier’s music collection at this time; how long do bullet wounds take to heal? don’t know don’t particularly care, also because I’ve lost track of time in the story. I can’t believe I’ve turned Javi into like such a den mother. I’ve looked at this too long, here have it. I’m also politely insisting that you listen to Haunt Me and The Safest Place because I listened to them on repeat while writing this chapter okay BYE
Word count: 2845
For the next two days, you threw yourself into work. Javier would get daily updates from Trujillo, but in terms of visitors nothing changed, and you couldn’t sit alone in Javier’s apartment for one more day. You still stayed there during the nights, the thought of sitting alone in your own apartment even less appealing. The two of you, tired of neck cricks and sore backs, finally caved and agreed to share the bed. You made sure to set up a wall of pillows, not trusting him or yourself. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t still think about it, but you’d return to the apartment so mentally and physically exhausted that it didn’t matter, and Javier was busier than ever. You often fell asleep before he came through the door.
On one of those nights you were awakened by Javier flicking on the bedroom light and his hand rubbing your shoulder.
“Hey,” Javier said as you mumbled groggily. “Hey, wake up.”
“Javi, please,” you whined, rolling away from him. Javier circled the bed and snapped his fingers inches from your face, making you jump. You caught him by the wrist, glaring up at him.
“Sleep,” you growled, “have you heard of it? It’s what I was just doing and you leave people alone while they’re doing it.”
“Carrillo’s back in Medellín,” Javier said. “Can I have this back?” He unwrapped your fingers from his wrist and you sat up, stunned.
“When?” you asked.
“They transferred him today,” he said, sitting down next to you on the edge of the bed. “The Carlos Holguín School has an infirmary and they insisted he be moved.”
“I don’t understand, why are we just hearing about this now?” you asked, squeezing the bridge of your nose.
“Probably for the same reason they had him under lockdown at the hospital,” Javier said.
“I feel like you could’ve waited til the morning to tell me this,” you said after the two of you had been quiet for some time. Javier got up and headed for the hallway.
“Well, you were also on my pillow,” he said. He ducked just in time as you sent one sailing out the door after him.
----------------------
The next morning, dark clouds of smoke billowed into the sky and Javier veered off course, heading in their direction, the familiar sense of dread settling in his gut. He came upon a crew of firefighters and threw his car into park, jumping out from behind the wheel. Javier pushed his sunglasses up onto his head, squinting at the sight of your apartment, doused and blackened, but still smoking.
“Shit,” he whispered, trying to figure out if you would still be back at his place or already on your way to work. Javier made his way through the throng until he got to the captain, asking if anyone was inside. No one was, but they had found words scrawled on the wall of the stairwell: We’ll Find You. Javier got back in his car and sped off in the direction of his apartment.
----------------------
You were drying your hair when you heard the door to the apartment slam open. Javier rushed in, calling your name. You froze, the towel falling away from your hair, your stomach clenching. Why did he sound so worried?
“Javi?” you asked, stepping out from the bathroom. He was standing in the living room, hands on his hips, chest moving rapidly with his breathing. Something had happened and you felt his anxiety spread to you.
“Fuck,” Javier hissed, going to the phone.
“Javi, what is it?” His head snapped up and he dropped the phone back in the cradle as you came to meet him in the living room. Javier’s face relaxed and he let out a breath, releasing the tension in his shoulders. He slumped onto the arm of the couch, running his hand over his face, pinching the corners of his mouth.
“What’s going on, Javier?” you asked, the possible answers already sending chills through your body.
“Pablo’s men set fire to your apartment,” he said.
“Was anybody hurt?” you asked after a moment. Javier shook his head. You sat down on the couch, thinking about the letters tucked away in the desk in your room, the photo albums sitting on the bookshelf in your living room. Everything was gone. Your home was gone. Javier knelt on the floor in front of you, his eyes searching yours out.
“Listen, you know what this means right?” he asked. “You can’t go anywhere. They’re looking for you. They know where you live, that means they know where you work. You have to stay here.” You nodded halfheartedly.
“I get it,” you said.
“We’ll get them,” he insisted. All you could do was nod. “Lay low, okay? I have to go, but I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
“Yeah, I got it.” When the door closed behind him you stood and paced the room, arms crossed over your chest. You came to a stop in front of the bottles of liquor lined up neatly along the wall and you picked one up, examining the label. Any whim you’d entertained of making the trip to Medellín was thrown out the window. Your home and everything in it was destroyed, your memories trampled on by the men actively trying to dismantle your present. But for a moment a bitter smirk flickered across your face. Pablo was angry because Carrillo was alive. You ground your teeth together, your grip tightening on the bottle, your chest heaving with ragged breaths. You chucked the bottle at the wall, satisfied in the sound of the glass smashing, and you stood there watching the liquor drip down to the floor.
“Fuck,” you sighed, realizing what you’d just done.
By the time Javier got home that night you were well and truly drunk, having delved deep into his liquor collection and his record collection. You’d shoved the coffee table out of the way, making room for a dancefloor. In one hand you had a glass and in the other an open bottle, and you were dancing to “Boogie Wonderland” when Javier walked through the door.
“Earth Wind and Fire, Javi, I wouldn’t have guessed,” you said, “but I am grateful.” Your glass was empty so you set it down, deciding to simply drink from the bottle, and you gestured for him to join you. Javier walked over to you and let you slide his arm around your waist as you moved your hips, the fingers of his other hand curling around the bottle, coaxing it out of your grip. You thought it was so he could take a drink, but instead he walked into the kitchen with it, turning off the music as he went.
“Excuse me,” you said, glaring at him from across the room.
“What is this?” Javier asked, looking in the trash can at the broken glass. You used the distraction to sneak over to the bar, slipping another bottle off the shelf.
“That was an accident,” you said. “And to be fair, happened before I even started drinking, so…” You made a popping sound with your lips and unscrewed the cap.
“Hey!” Javier snapped. He hopped down from the kitchen and was across the room in seconds, snatching the bottle out of your hand before it made it to your lips. He took your hand in his and led you over to the couch, pushing you onto it. “You stay right here.” After a few moments, Javier returned with a glass of water, handing it to you. You drank more than half the glass before he sat down next to you. You watched as he lit two cigarettes, accepting one. The two of you relaxed back against the couch, Javier putting his arm around your shoulders.
“I’m sorry about your home,” he said.
It didn’t take long for the exhaustion you’d been fighting to creep up on you, and the two of you shuffled off to bed. As you settled in, you threw aside the pillows that made up the wall between the two of you and snuggled into Javier’s side, his arms up and away from you in surprise. He lowered them slowly, his thumb gently stroking your shoulder.
“Maybe I should just go home,” you whispered.
You woke up late the next morning, sprawled out on your stomach. Javier’s side of the bed was empty, the sheets cool under your hand. You could hear voices coming from the living room and a few moments later the bedroom door opened. Javier walked in and sat down on the edge of the bed, placing his hand over yours, tilting his head to look at you.
“I’m heading out with Murphy, you good?” he asked.
“My head feels like it weighs twenty pounds but other than that, yeah,” you said. The look of concern didn’t leave Javier’s face as he brushed your hair out of your eyes.
“Can I tell you something Charlie said to me once?” he said. You sat up on your elbow, surprised to hear Javier mention your husband.
“What?” you asked.
“He told me that if anything ever happened to him I needed to make sure you got out of Colombia,” Javier said.
“You really gave it your best effort.” He let out a dry chuckle, but his eyes fell away from yours.
“Go home,” Javier said, “there’s nothing for you here.”
----------------------
“I had a meeting today,” Charlie said, flopping onto the couch and resting his head in your lap.
“Oh yeah?” you asked, running your fingers through his hair.
“Valeria Vélez,” he said.
“Pablo’s personal reporter?”
“She tried to tell me about all the good he’s done. That I’m spreading misinformation and lies. It was a veiled threat, nothing more. Say what they wanna hear, say nothing at all, or get shot.” You leaned down and kissed his forehead.
“Are you afraid?” you asked softly, and he let out a dry chuckle, grinning up at you.
“Would you think less of me if I said ‘yes’?” You shook your head, smiling down at him. Charlie sat up then, taking your hands in his. His expression had changed, his forehead creasing with worry, teeth biting at the inside of his cheek.
“If anything happens to me--”
“I told you to never say that to me,” you said.
“No, listen,” Charlie said, his voice stern, “if anything happens to me--”
“It happens to me, too,” you said.
----------------------
“Were you going to tell me to leave?” you wondered aloud. You imagined him sitting at a dimly lit table in a bar with Javier, saying those same words, asking his friend to make sure you got out of Colombia safely. Why had it taken Javier this long to attempt to make good on his promise? You were still in bed, staring up at the ceiling. The thought of leaving had been nagging at you since the night the four of you had rushed Carrillo to the hospital. It was just a small whisper then, but Javier’s words opened up a floodgate. What happiness were you going to find if you stayed? Even if you and Carrillo ended up together, you’d be living every day with the anxiety that accompanied his absence. You would flinch every time the phone rang. What happiness was to be found when both of your lives were constantly in danger? Your home had been burned down and you were holed up in Javier’s apartment. What kind of life was that? The thoughts kept adding up, one after the other, like bricks being laid, until a wall was built in your mind, a wall separating you from Colombia, from Carrillo.
Everything you were taking with you fit in one backpack with room to spare. While Javier was gone for the day, you cleaned the apartment top to bottom, not wanting to think. It got to the point where you were washing dishes that were already clean and folding clothes that were already folded. Anything to keep your mind off the fact that you were leaving Colombia the next day. You were in the bedroom when you heard the door open.
“Hey Javi,” you called, “you can give me a ride to the airport tomorrow, right?” When he didn’t respond, you stepped out into the hallway. “Javi?” Your heart fluttered in your chest and you paused. Javier had been a problem for Escobar a lot longer than you. What happened when they found out where he lived? You swallowed, your mouth suddenly dry. You looked down at your feet, willing them to move, and when you looked up again you saw him, standing in the living room. Yes, he was standing there on his own two feet. You curled your fingers, brushing them against the palm of your hand, wanting more than anything to touch him, prove to yourself that he was real.
“You’re leaving,” Carrillo said. You glanced over at the backpack sitting by the couch and managed a stiff nod. Carrillo started to cross the living room and you noticed then his limp. It broke you out of your stupor and you hurried over to him, putting your arm around his waist. It had become instinctual. Carrillo smiled softly at you and pushed your hair back from your face, his thumb caressing your cheek.
“I’m okay,” he said. Despite not needing your help, Carrillo kept you there, his hand around your arm, his warm brown eyes holding yours. You could stay there forever. You wanted to stay there forever. He leaned in to kiss you and you panicked, pulling away.
“You should sit, relax,” you said, already stepping up to the kitchen. “I’ll get you some water. Javi should be back soon.” You looked at your watch, knowing that was a lie.
“I’m not here for Peña, he’s the one who told me where you were. How do you think I got in?” Carrillo said, easing himself onto a couch. You could feel his eyes on you from across the room. You took a moment, hunched over at the sink, just letting the water run. You’d thought about this moment, dreamed about it, but now you had to distance yourself and you didn’t know if you could do it. Going home was the right thing to do. Separating yourself from Colombia, from Carrillo, it was the right thing to do. You held tight to that and shut off the water, returning to the living room with a glass. You set it down in front of him on the coffee table, prepared to take a seat on the other couch, but Carrillo caught you by the wrist. Lifting your eyes, you found his face mere inches from yours and he tugged you gently toward the couch. You knelt next to him and he placed your hand on his chest, as if to remind you that his heart was beating. He wrapped his arm around your waist, keeping you there.
“I heard about your apartment, I’m glad you’re okay,” Carrillo said. “Is that why you’re leaving?”
“It’s part of it,” you admitted. “They want me dead. They want you dead, and they almost succeeded, and eventually…” How could you say it? How could you get those words out? You hung your head, the words piling up in your throat. “How can we be happy?” Carrillo’s hand left yours and you felt his fingers under your chin, coaxing your head up.
“We create it,” he said, his voice gentle but determined, “we insist on it, or they win without even having to kill us.” Carrillo leaned in close to you, curling his fingers around your neck to pull you in for a kiss. Your heart swelled in your chest at the feeling of his lips on yours, at his closeness, at his warmth.
“Stay,” he whispered, having pulled back just enough to speak.
“I have to go,” you said, feeling on the verge of tears. He was going to make this impossible. Carrillo swept you up onto his lap, pressing your body tightly against his. He didn’t kiss you immediately like you expected. Instead, Carrillo tucked his head beneath your chin and simply held you. You rested your cheek on top of his head, your eyes pricking with tears. Your hand moved with the rise and fall of Carrillo’s chest, his breath tickling your skin. He was alive. You curled your fingers in his hair, coaxing his head back, and kissed him. Slow and languid movements, but it didn’t take long for desperation to guide your actions. Close wasn’t close enough. You curled your fingers, clawing into his chest as Carrillo’s kisses turned into a trail of bites down your neck. You whimpered his name and he leaned back, brushing your hair away from your face, gathering it up in his fist at the nape of your neck. Carrillo’s gaze held yours, his eyes hungry.
“Say it again,” he said.
“Horacio.”
Taglist: @cheesybadgers @massivecolorspygiant @vanthrefrigeration @funtasi @redwine-n-hiddles @sarahjkl82-blog @maharani-radha-writes @lettherebrelight @banga-sama @ajeff855 @madlyhowling @chiara-cannot-sleep @mcrmarvelloki @cassandras-nest @flowerchild-96 @harduy @chasingdreamer @anatanotegami @live–aloud @grogu-pascal @dodgerandevans @seltsamkind @goldielocks2004 @marvelprincess1994 @girlpornparadise @mental-bycatch @patqmark @lostinthesettingsun @winchesterfallon
#man made of stone#horacio carrillo x reader#colonel carrillo x reader#horacio carrillo#colonel carrillo#javier peña#maurice compte#pedro pascal#narcos#narcos fic
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not yours ~ machine gun kelly
word count: 2104
request?: yes!
“Hi. Could you please do a Colson Baker imagine where Casie has something important going on at school and only the reader is there to cheer her on without Colson which causes Casie to get upset and immediately lock herself in her room crying when they get home. When Colson finally gets home, reader confronts him and he says something hurtful like “she’s my kid, not yours so back off” and maybe the reader has been apart of Casie’s life for years and loves her like her own so it hurts even more”
description: after he misses his daughter’s big opening night, colson says some hurtful things to the woman he loves, and has to be brought back down to earth by his eleven year old daughter
pairing: machine gun kelly x female!reader
warnings: swearing, angst
masterlist
Casie was so excited to tell Colson and I that she had gotten a big role in the school play. Colson was excited, too. Casie was always more into sports than the arts, so it was a surprise to even hear that she had auditioned for the play, let alone that she had gotten a big role.
Colson vowed that he would be there no matter what. He even bought the two of us front row tickets to see it. He was beyond excited, and so proud of his baby girl.
But then, the night of the play came along and he received an important phone call from his record label. They wanted to have a meeting as soon as possible about his new album. He tried to push the meeting to another day, even just to the day after, but his label was adamant about having the meeting that evening, just an hour before the play.
“I’ll be quick,” Colson told me. “I’ll go in, pitch them the album, then leave. Worse case scenario, I miss maybe the first scene. You can fill me in.”
“Are you going to tell Casie?” I asked him as I watched him frantically prepare for his last minute meeting.
“No,” he decided. “She doesn’t need to know. I’ve spent a vast majority of her life on the road, I’ve missed so much, I don’t want her to think I’m putting my career over her again.”
“You’ve never done that,” I assured him, “but you should tell her just in case. Wouldn’t it be better if she knew, in case you’re late?”
Colson shook his head. This wasn’t exactly a surprise to me. I knew Colson was stubborn, and he was so devoted to Casie. I decided to take him at his word - he wouldn’t be long, he’d be there for Casie. He left for his meeting, promising again that he’d be to the play just in time for the opening of the play.
So, when I found myself sat in the front row, alone, just minutes before the play was supposed to start, and I was unable to get a hold of Colson, I wasn’t too surprised. I was worried for what Casie would say or think, but I wasn’t surprised that I couldn’t reach him.
When the lights went down, I tried one more time to reach him, but was sent straight to voicemail. I sighed heavily and put my phone on silent and slipped it into my pocket.
My heart broke to see that Casie was taking the stage right away as the play started. I watched her scan the audience, excitedly looking for Colson. When her eyes landed on me, I tried my best to smile and wave at her. I could see the hurt in her face to see the seat next to me empty. I wished I could do something more, but I knew this was it. I just had to be here for her, and hope that Colson would show up eventually.
When the show ended, I stood by the door that lead to backstage to wait for Casie to come out. I was the last person waiting when the door pushed open and the tear stained face of the eleven year old poked out from the door and looked up at me.
“He couldn’t even come to this?” she asked, her voice still shaking.
I opened my arms and hugged her tightly. She buried her head in my chest and I felt her body shaking as she cried. I wished I could make some sort of excuse for Colson to try and make things right, but even I was angry with him in that moment. I knew his career was important, but he was always saying how he never wanted to make Casie feel like she was second, and that’s exactly what he did when he missed her play.
The two of us drove home in silence. The minute I unlocked the door, Casie took off for her room. I heard her door close and the sound of her lock turning. I sighed and tried to call Colson again. Yet again, I got his voicemail.
“Hey,” I said, trying to keep my voice sounding calm, “so you missed Casie’s play. She’s really beat up over it. She locked herself in her room and is crying. You’re gonna have to do something huge to make this up to her. Hope you’ll be home soon.”
About half an hour passed when I heard the front door open and shut again. I was sat on the couch watching Netflix when Colson appeared in the doorway, a look of guilt on his face.
“She’s in her room,” I told him, not taking my eyes away from the screen. “Although good luck getting in. She wouldn’t even let me in.”
“I feel like complete shit,” Colson sighed. “I kept trying to leave, but they kept asking me questions. And Diddy was there, and I didn’t want to leave a bad impression on him - ”
“It’s not me you have to explain to,” I cut him off, pausing my show and rising from the couch. “Colson, you really broke her heart tonight. She’s been crying since the show ended.”
“I know I did,” Colson said. “I didn’t mean to. I meant to be there.”
“Then you should’ve been,” I snapped, my anger starting to rise. “I know that this next album is important to you, and I know it’s hard to try and turn down the record label, but you could’ve tried harder to move it just this once. Or you could’ve talked to Casie about it instead of hiding this from her. She was crushed, Colson, you should’ve seen her.”
“Yeah, this album is important, (Y/N). I can’t just blow off my record label, they have the power to completely tank my album or put it in development limbo. This meeting was important, I couldn’t pass it up.”
“Your daughter is supposed to be important, Colson!”
“She’s my daughter, (Y/N), not yours! Don’t tell me how to fucking parent!”
Hearing Colson raise his voice caused me to back down just a little, but the inclusion of Casie not being my child, or the implication that not even Colson viewed her as my child, felt like a knife through my heart.
Colson and I had been together for so long and, even though we still weren’t married, I considered Casie my own child, and she considered me a second mother. Colson had always said how happy he was that the two of us got along, and wanted nothing more than for his two favorite girls to like each other. He knew how much it would hurt to say that, and he said it anyways. He wanted to hurt me, just because I was telling the truth.
I blinked away the tears forming in my eyes and got close to Colson, so close that I could’ve gotten into his face if I wasn’t a solid foot shorter than him. “Then be a fucking parent and go talk to your daughter, asshole.”
I brushed past him and hurried up the stairs. I heard his footsteps following me and managed to slam the bedroom door shut and lock it behind me before he could get in.
“Don’t be childish, (Y/N), let me in!” he called.
“No,” I responded. “I don’t want to talk to you.”
I grabbed a bag and began throwing clothes into it. I had no plans as to where I was going, but I officially didn’t want to be in the house with him anymore.
When I opened the door again, Colson looked from my angry face to the bag in my hand. “Where are you going?”
“Somewhere far away from here,” I said as I pushed him away from me and made a beeline to the door. I couldn’t stop, or else I knew I’d turn around and stay. “Go talk to your daughter before you lose her for good, although right now, you fucking deserve that.”
And with that, I slammed the front door behind me as I left.
~~~~~~
I didn’t know where to go. Truthfully, I didn’t want to go anywhere. Not to stay for a long period of time. I just knew I didn’t want to be there with Colson anymore. What he said had really hurt, and he knew that it was going to. The fact that he still said it absolutely broke me.
I decided to park my car for a while by a beach. I was sat back in my seat, watching the waves crash against the sand, when my phone began to ring. I wasn’t shocked to see Colson’s name pop up, and I debated on not answering it. But part of me wanted to hear what he had to said, wanted to defend my actions and my decision to leave if he decided to fight over it.
I answered and put the phone up to my ear. “Hello?”
“Hey,” came Colson’s voice. It was much softer than earlier, and I could hear the guilt in it. “Where are you? Are you okay?”
“I’m parked by a beach,” I admitted. “Just...needed to go somewhere to think.”
I heard him sigh with relief. “Okay, as long as you’re okay. Are you...are you coming back tonight? I think we need to talk about what I said.”
I thought long and hard about the answer to that question before deciding, “Yeah, I’ll be home soon.”
“Okay, see you soon.”
We both hung up and I sighed. I started the car and drove back to the all too familiar house. I decided to leave my bag in the car, in case things went wrong with mine and Colson’s “talk”.
He was waiting for me in the living room, an ironic turn of events. Except Colson wasn’t watching TV. His leg was bouncing, anxiously, undoubtedly waiting for me to come home. The minute I walked through the door, he stood up.
“I’m so sorry for what I said,” he said immediately, starting to approach me but then becoming hesitant. “I didn’t mean it at all, I hope you know that.”
I crossed my arms. “Which part?”
“All of it. Saying Casie isn’t your daughter, that you shouldn’t tell me how to parent, calling you childish. You were right, (Y/N), I should’ve pushed harder to postpone the meeting, and if they kept fighting I should’ve just cancelled it. The album can be postponed, but I can’t miss anymore of Casie’s milestones.”
I looked down at my feet, blinking away tears again as Colson’s words came to my mind. “I know she’s not actually my daughter, but she feels so much like she is now that...you saying that really hurt. It made me feel like I’ll never be a mother figure to Casie, or that I’m not allowed to be because I’m not her actual mom.”
“No, baby.” This time Colson didn’t hesitate to approach me and wrap me in his arms. “No, that’s not true at all. Casie loves you like you were her mom, and I know you love her like a daughter. I was upset when I said what I said, it wasn’t right for me to take it out on you like that. You were right to call me out like that, I’m sorry I upset you.”
I rested my head against his chest and let him hold me for a long time. Tears were still streaming down my face, but I didn’t feel as upset anymore. Just being there with him, and hearing the sincerity in his voice as he apologized, was enough to bring me out of my down mood.
“Did you talk to Casie?” I asked him after a prolonged moment of silence.
“I did,” he said. “She was the one who convinced me to call you. She also pointed out how stupid I was being and told me that if I let you get away that she’d steal the car and come get you herself.”
I couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped my mouth. Colson’s chest vibrated against my ear as he laughed as well.
“She’s still mad with me, but she deserves to be,” he continued. “It’ll take some time, but she told me I’ll be able to fix my fuck up eventually.”
“She won’t stay mad at you for long,” I told him. “She loves you more than anything.”
“I know, I love her, too. And I love you.”
I smiled up at him. “I love you, too, Colson.”
#machine gun kelly#machine gun kelly imagine#machine gun kelly x reader#colson baker#colson baker imagine#colson baker x reader#mgk#estxx#imagine#one shot#request
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moonlight ♡
Summary: Spencer wants to go to sleep, but Reader doesn’t wanna break tradition (WC: 1.6k) {Masterlist <3}
Pairing: Spencer Reid x (intended she/her but technically gender neutral)!Reader (could be read as platonic or romantic!!)
TW: none!
A/N: i was supposed to post this on the 29th.. we dont talk about it its okay its fine everythings all good, I ALMOST FORGOT thank you to gracie for beta reading this!! she’s the first one on the taglist at the end if you wanna check out her amazing work as well mwah, n e ways enjoy :0
Playlist Pairing: it’s not a singular song this time, listen to the inspo playlist here! 🌘
_
You rushed up the stairs, praying to some deity that you would catch him before he sent himself to bed or was too immersed in some book to answer the door. JJ had called you 7 hours ago, so it wasn’t surprising that you somehow didn’t notice the time passing, plus the fact you had to get gas for your little trip.
Rapping at the door insistently, you were delightfully startled when Spencer opened the door only a few moments later. He was still in his work slacks and button up but tie-less. A quick glance behind him and you could see he had been making himself tea, and the satchel by his feet couldn’t have been dropped more than 10 minutes ago.
“Peanut?”
You were too elated that you had caught him to respond, instead opting to attach yourself to his torso. “You’re back! Oh my gosh, I was so worried you wouldn’t make it back in time, but luckily JJ called me that you were getting back today, but that was over like 7 hours ago, and then I got worried I wouldn’t make it here before you went to bed--” you rambled, but Spencer quickly brought you back down to Earth by removing you from his torso.
“Y/N! What’re you doing here?”
“We’re going on a drive, duh!” you said, before grabbing his wrist and making it halfway out the door before being pulled back.
“Now? I just got home from two back-to-back cases, and it’s almost midnight.”
“Spence, we can’t break tradition now! Unless Mr. Eidetic Memory forgot what tomorrow is--” you interrupt yourself with a very exaggerated gasp, earning an eye roll from Spencer.
“Of course I know what tomorrow is but--” Knowing he would only go on and on to list reasons why he shouldn’t come with you, you used your last resort, the “puppy dog eyes.” All Spencer did was stare at you, both of you knowing fully well that he was capable of resisting, but he didn’t like to. After a whole minute of unnecessary intense staring at each other, Spencer let out a groan and turned around to walk away, which you thought meant that he was going to bed. Instead, you were pleasantly surprised when you heard him half-yell from across his apartment, “I’m just getting my keys!” You squealed excitedly, knowing what was ahead of you both that night.
~
Your car was small, a basic silver Toyota corolla you named Carrie. She smelled of gas and was decked out with teddy bear head pillows and keychains that you asked Spencer to buy, hanging from the rearview mirror, (but only from the cool states). You even kept a tan knitted blanket in Carrie, which Spencer was now wrapped in.
You couldn’t help but notice Spencer’s infatuation with the moon tonight, as he took a long sip from one of his two cups of hot cocoa you guys had picked up on the way.
“Is it a full moon?”
“No,” he said--not in a rude way, just quietly and quickly, like he didn’t want to take his focus away from the moon or it might disappear.
So, you let him be. He was most likely tired, and despite tomorrow, which most people would be restless for, he probably just wanted rest. You almost felt guilty, but your tradition was important to you, and you could only hope that it was important to him as well.
“Did you know the full moon is one of the most powerful symbols in astrology? It can represent one’s emotional instincts, habits and private aspects of one’s personality. It’s said that while the sun sign of someone represents their head, their moon sign represents their heart. Though, most astrologists say the moon is heavily compulsion-based. Similarly, someone’s sun sign depicts their actions, but their moon sign depicts their reactions,” he told you, still gazing, almost longingly at the moon.
“I didn’t take you for an astrology type of guy, Doctor.”
“I have knowledge in many areas, Y/N, I thought you knew this by now.” You snickered at the understatement. “If the moon smiled, she would resemble you. You leave the same impression of something beautiful, but annihilating,” he quoted.
“Plath--are you flirting with me, Doc?”
“Never, peanut.”
You rolled both your eyes and the windows of your car. Hopefully the blanket and cocoa was enough to warm him. All you wanted was to not blow out his eardrums as you turned up the music. Night Changes by One Direction was playing, and you reminisced on the fact that he originally had never heard of the band, causing your binge session, which consisted of watching their documentary and listening to all 5 of their albums straight. He told you he thought they were okay and he saw the appeal. What he didn’t tell you was that his favorite album was Midnight Memories, but if the way he was humming along to the song now was any evidence, you could’ve been a profiler.
You two listened to your playlist, made specially for the tradition, (Spencer insisted you always pick the music on these trips, since you weren’t very interested in classical piano) and besides the melodies, a comfortable silence encompassed the car for the most of the ride. As the road started to incline and your destination started getting near, you broke it.
“Can you believe-” you started, earning Spencer’s gaze from the sudden conversation, “Can you believe the audacity the calendar has, to change dates in the middle of the night, just like that, while we’re sleeping?” Spencer couldn’t help the chuckle that bubbled out from him. “Like tomorrow… You’re gonna wake up and, and you’re gonna be one year older.” When you said this, you couldn’t help but steal a look at him. He wasn’t making eye contact, just fidgeting with his fingers, but the small smile was there.
“Just like that,” you finished, as you pulled onto the edge of a hill.
When you showed up at his apartment the night you got your driver’s license, you found this spot. This was your guys’ cliff. The one you guys found on accident, when your car ran out of gas on your first night of the tradition. The same one you guys have had a handful of picnics at and late night rambles about both of your favorite things. Covered in the blanket of light that the moon so graciously provided, it was perfect, and it was both of yours.
Parked atop the hill, you turned off the car and turned to Spencer, who went back to admiring the stars. You were just about to tell him that you would be right back, but you decided he was a little busy, and so you quickly shuffled to grab the box he wasn’t aware was hiding in the trunk.
He finally noticed your disappearance when you came back with a lavender gift box in your lap and an excited smile on your face. “Oh Y/N, you know you didn’t--”
“Save it, Spence. Just open your gift,” you demanded, shoving it into his arms and the smile on your face only lingering. He rarely received real gifts, only for Christmas. You were essentially his only non work friend, and he told everyone at work that he never wanted nor needed anything.
He repeatedly blinked, yet carefully removed the lid. He first saw the small brown envelope which contained a gift card for the local coffee shop near his apartment. Underneath that and the matching lavender tissue paper, he found a tie of no other color than purple and two pairs of socks, one of colorful stripes and the other of baby tardises. (You knew nothing about Doctor Who, but he appreciated the references.) The whole time smiles adorned both your faces. The last item was a copy of The Alchemist. It was one of the main books you two had bonded over, and only a few weeks ago, someone had spilled coffee on their copy. Spencer was against buying another one, saying he could literally recite it in his head word for word if he ever wanted to again, but you stubbornly insisted that it didn’t have the same sentiment, (and of course you were right).
He took the book out the box and held it by the spine as he flitted through the pages, taking note of the annotations, your annotations. When done, he closed it and only opened the cover, finding your heartfelt message.
Dear old dear old Spence,
I know you’re probably gonna read this in .02 seconds, and probably right in front of me at that. Unless we broke tradition. But I trust that I convinced you. (It was the eyes, wasn’t it?) Regardless, I wanted to wish my very, very best friend a happy birthday. You alone are so strong for going through all that you’ve gone through, stuff that no one should have to even imagine. You are one of the strongest people I know. You need to know that I’m proud of you, Spencer. I’m beyond grateful for you, for having such a caring, resilient, and just incredible friend as you. I hope I don’t need to remind you that I will be here for you, through anything and everything. See you in 500 years :)
Love, with all my heart, Peanut
In only a handful of seconds, he shut the cover once again, and the happiness (and slight gleam) in his eyes became painstakingly evident. “This is your copy?” He asked, mostly rhetorically, because he knew it was. At this point, he was lightly sniffling between words. “Thank- thank you, peanut,”
“It’s no problem Doc,” you smiled and lightly punched him on the shoulder, “happy birthday, Spencer. I’m glad we didn’t break tradition.” And by the look on his face, well- you were no profiler, but you could safely assume that he was just as glad.
-
Taglist: @bxbyspxncer @goldenxreid @prettyboy-reid @rottenearly @rainsong01
#criminal minds fic#cm#criminal minds#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds fanfiction#matthew gray gubler x reader#mgg x reader#fluff#dr spencer reid#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fluff#y/n#oc#platonic!reader#spencer reid imagine#theas originals#there are no words to describe how much i hate doing tags
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A Locked Tomb Fanmix But It’s All Classic Country
this exists entirely because one night the thought “but what if i made a Locked Tomb fanmix with only classic country songs” popped into my head, unprompted, and i thought it was too hilarious to not do.
the art on the cover is done by @starfleetofficial, who this mix is also dedicated to. thank you for recommending me these books, continuously “yes, and”ing my semi-coherent TLT messages sent at 5 in the morning, and being so supportive about this idea. (also check out her version, A HtN fanmix but it’s all Fiona Apple!) the cover design is referencing the famous Marty Robbins album, Gunfighter Ballads and Trail Songs.
my one listening note: this will probably be more enjoyable if it’s approached with an open mind and an expectation that it’s taking itself about as seriously as the official fanmixes do.
see below the cut for a song list and some lyric excerpts.
this mix has implicit spoilers for both Gideon the Ninth and Harrow the Ninth.
Gideon the Ninth mix: youtube / spotify / full res cover Harrow the Ninth mix: youtube / spotify / full res cover full mix: youtube / spotify / full res cover
Gideon the Ninth:
1. Johnny Paycheck, “Take This Job And Shove It”
You better not try to stand in my way 'Cause I'm walkin' out the door Take this job and shove it I ain't working here no more
2. Dolly Parton, “When Someone Wants To Leave”
It's a sad situation I must say When someone wants to leave as bad as you want them to stay
3. Loretta Lynn, “I’m A Gettin’ Ready To Go”
I'm gonna praise my savior's name everyday that I'm livin' Glory hallelujah I'm not ashamed to let my salvation show This old world's just my dressin' room and I'm a gettin' ready to go
4. Waylon Jennings, “I Ain’t Living Long Like This”
I tried to run but I don't think I can You make one move and you're a dead man friend Ain't living long like this Can't live at all like this, can I baby?
5. Loretta Lynn, “This Haunted House”
This haunted house I'm livin' in is killing me And the ghost of your love won't set me free Each morning finds me crying and alone In this haunted house we used to call our home
6. Loretta Lynn and Conway Twitty, “After The Fire Is Gone”
We know it's wrong for us to meet But the fire's gone out at home And there's nothin' cold as ashes After the fire is gone
7. Loretta Lynn, “How Long Will It Take”
(How long will it take?) How long will it take to make you want me How much longer has this old heart gotta break (How long will it take?) How long will it take to make you need me I keep a waitin' and a wonderin' how long will it take
8. Stonewall Jackson, “Don’t Be Angry”
Maybe someday you're gonna hurt me I've been hurt in love before Only God can know And time alone will tell
9. Dick Curless, “A Tombstone Every Mile”
It's a stretch of road up north in Maine That's never ever ever seen a smile If they'd buried all them truckers lost in them woods There'd be a tombstone every mile
10. Johnny Paycheck, “(It Won’t Be Long) And I’ll Be Hating You”
Lately life with you has been unbearable All my faith in you has gone and I know it won't return I did everything to make you happy I could do Now you've gotten me hatin' things I used to love to do And it won't be long and I'll be hatin' you
11. Norma Jean, “Let’s Go All The Way”
All the way means happiness living side by side Halfway means a heartbreak if one of us should lie Just give me a clue that you love me too Hold me in your arms and say “Oh, let’s go all the way”
12. Loretta Lynn, “Everybody Wants To Go To Heaven”
Everybody wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die Lord, I wanna go to heaven but I don't wanna die Though I long for the day when I'll have new birth Still I love the livin' here on earth Everybody wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die
13. Homer & Jethro, “She Made Toothpicks Of The Timber Of My Heart”
She was seasoned, I was green Yes my darling lumber queen Wound me ‘round her finger like a clinging vine
14. Patsy Cline, “The Heart You Break May Be Your Own”
You'll look around and when you've found That you are all alone Then you'll get wise and realize The heart you break may be your own
15. Buck Owens, “I’ve Got A Tiger By The Tail”
Well every night you drag me where the bright lights are found There ain't no way to slow you down I’m as 'bout as helpless as a leaf in a gale And it looks like I've got a tiger by the tail
16. Charley Pride, “All I Have To Offer You (Is Me)”
Before you take another step, there's something you should know About the years ahead and how they'll be You'll be living in a world where roses hardly ever grow 'Cause all I have to offer you is me
17. Faron Young, “Live Fast, Love Hard, Die Young”
I wanna leave a lot of happy women A-thinkin’ pretty thoughts of me I wanna live fast, love hard, die young And leave a beautiful memory
18. Dolly Parton and Porter Wagoner, “The Last Thing On My Mind”
I've got reason a plenty for goin' This I know, this I know The weeds have been steadily growin' Please don't go, please don't go
Are you going away with no word of farewell Will there be not a trace left behind I could've loved you better, didn't mean to be unkind You know that was the last thing on my mind
19. Marty Robbins, “The Master’s Call”
I felt the end was near, that death would be the price When a mighty bolt of lightning showed the face of Jesus Christ And I cried “oh Lord forgive me, don't let it happen now I want to live for you alone, oh God these words I vow”
Bridge: Lefty Frizzell, “Long Black Veil”
She walks these hills in a long black veil She visits my grave when the night winds wail Nobody knows, nobody sees Nobody knows but me
Harrow the Ninth:
1. Hank Williams, “I’ll Never Get Out Of This World Alive”
Every thing's against me and it's got me down If I jumped in the river I would probably drown No matter how I struggle and strive I'll never get out of this world alive
2. Dolly Parton, Linda Ronstadt, and Emmylou Harris, “Those Memories Of You”
In dreams of you, my body trembles I wake up and call your name But you're not there, and I'm so lonesome Without your love, I'd go insane
3. Hank Snow, “I Don’t Hurt Anymore”
I don't hurt anymore, all my teardrops are dried No more walking the floor with that burning inside Just to think it could be time has opened the door And at last I am free I don't hurt anymore
4. Patsy Cline, “Stop The World And Let Me Off”
Oh, stop the world and let me off I'm tired of goin' round ‘n' round I played the game of love and lost So stop the world and let me off
5. Charley Pride, “Lie To Me”
Oh, lie to me, say you love me Tell me I mean the world to you It would mean so much, I'd be so happy And it's the least you can do
6. Hank Snow, “Ninety Miles An Hour (Down A Dead End Street)”
Warnin' signs are flashin' by us but we pay no heed Instead of slowin' down the pace we keep picking up the speed Disaster's gettin' closer every time we meet Doin' ninety miles an hour down a dead end street
7. Patsy Cline and the Anita Kerr Singers, “I Can’t Forget”
Where are you, darlin'? Are you with someone new I can't forget you I'll always be loving you
8. Lynn Anderson, “If I Kiss You (Will You Go Away)”
You're so much hurt I wish you wouldn't stay If I kiss you will you go away?
9. Connie Smith, “Once A Day”
Once a day all day long And once a night from dusk till dawn The only time I wish you weren't gone Is once a day, every day, all day long
10. Charley Pride, “Just Between You And Me”
But just between you and me I've got my doubts about it 'Cause just between you and me You're too much to forget
11. Buck Owens, “Hello Trouble”
A comin' up my sidewalk Just as plain as day A well a here come trouble that I never thought I'd see When you went away
12. Loretta Lynn, “Fist City”
You'll bite off more than you can chew If you get too cute or witty You better move your feet if you don't wanna eat A meal that's called Fist City
13. The Davis Sisters, “I Forgot More Than You’ll Ever Know”
You think you know the smile on his lips The thrill at the touch of his fingertips But I've forgotten more Than you'll ever know about him
14. Kitty Wells, “Pick Me Up On Your Way Down” (Charlie Walker’s version is on the Spotify playlist)
When you learn these things are true I'll be waiting here for you As you tumble to the ground Pick me up on your way down
15. Loretta Lynn and Conway Twitty, “You’re The Reason Our Kids Are Ugly”
And that's the reason that my good looks and my figure is gone And that's the reason I ain't got no hair to comb And you're the reason our kids are ugly, little darling
16. Loretta Lynn, “Who Says God Is Dead”
If I were you I'd kneel and pray 'Cause we're not promised one more day Remember blood was shed Who says God is dead?
17. Patsy Cline and The Jordanaires, “Imagine That”
Can you believe I'd swallow my pride (Well yes, yes, I guess you can) 'Cause you know you've always had my foolish heart Right in the palm of your hand, oh
18. Jody Miller and Johnny Paycheck, “Let’s All Go Down To The River”
Jesus is the man at the river And he's washing people's sins away He can save your soul if you give him control Oh be ready for that judgement day
19. Bobby Bare, “Dropkick Me, Jesus”
Make me, oh, make me, Lord, more than I am Make me a piece in Your master game plan Free from the earthly temptation below I've got the will, Lord, if You got the toe
20. Lynn Anderson, “Heaven’s Just A Sin Away”
Devil's got me now Oh, gone and got me now I can't fight him anyhow I think he's gonna win
Heaven’s just a sin away Oh, just a sin away Heaven help me when I say I think I’m givin’ in
21. Loretta Lynn, “Out Of My Head And Back In My Bed”
I'm gonna search everywhere that you might be When I find you I'm a bringin’ you home with me I want you out of my head And back in my bed Before the morning comes
22. Johnny Cash, “Big River”
Now, won't you batter down by Baton Rouge, River Queen, roll it on Take that woman on down to New Orleans, New Orleans Go on, I've had enough, dump my blues down in the gulf She loves you, Big River, more than me
Now I taught the weeping willow how to cry, cry, cry And I showed the clouds how to cover up a clear blue sky And the tears that I cried for that woman are gonna flood you, Big River And I'm gonna sit right here until I die
#the locked tomb#gideon the ninth#harrow the ninth#gideon nav#tlt#i am 100% expecting for this to entertain maybe five people (two of which have seen it already) and to otherwise go unnoticed#but that's okay because it's a labor of love and every time i either listen to the playlist or look at the damn cover i just start laughing#anyways if anyone has questions about anything on here my ask is open. it's large and somewhat...imaginative in what songs are on here + why#one flesh one end#listen to this
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Your Weary Widow Marches
A Gender Neutral MCxFelix fic in which our dear barista educates their teacher and shows him some music from their home.
I’ve never really written fanfiction before but I thought Id give it a shot. The formatting looks weird on my end so if it looks weird after posting I apologize I couldn’t figure it out. Hope you enjoy!
—-
The crackling fire and pages being turned were the only sounds heard for the past few hours. Felix and I sat on either side of a couch placed in Anisa’s office silently reading our respective books. I’ve been in Astraea for nearly a week and had I known that Felix’s teaching method would be done via reading books the size of an encyclopedia I probably would have chosen Sage or Anisa instead... probably
I glance up at Felix, he’s sitting with legs crossed slouching on the arm rest of the couch, glasses on and enthralled in his book. I'm leaning with my back against the arm rest facing Felix, peering at him from behind my knees. I watch as his eyes scan the pages, partially hiding behind my book so he doesn’t notice me stare. I rub my eyes, dry from the endless reading of Astraean history. I know plenty of history and lore from this world thanks to countless hours of playing Last Legacy and stalking forums, but I don’t think I could’ve convinced Felix of that without having to explain what video games are let alone the internet. He thought if I were to learn magic I should at least know part of its history and it’s contribution to their society.
Despite spending some time with Felix I'm still amazed at the attention span he has for reading. I scan the room trying not to move too much lest I be scolded by the warden. I glance over at the high back chair across the room. The one Anisa sat me in after my jaunt through Felix’s portal and painfully onto Anisa's desk. My mind begins to wander.
I’ve only been here a short time but I feel like I’ve adjusted well. I wonder what's happening on Earth. Does time pass the same at home like how it does in this realm? World? Alternate universe? I still don’t exactly know how to explain my predicament. Has anyone noticed I'm gone yet? I wonder if I’m on the missing persons list, someone at work will have noticed I didn’t show up for my shifts. I cringe slightly at that last thought, my open book now resting on my chest. Ah damn it, I’m definitely fired aren’t I. How am I gonna pay my bills.... and my home, I miss my bed....my plants. SHIT MY PLANTS. I bring my hand to my face and cringe, my beloved house plants they’re going to wither away in my absence. Fate is such a cruel mistress.
“Bored of reading are we?” I slightly jump at Felix’s comment. I bring my hand down and look at him. Staring at me through his glasses a smirk on his lips. I flush slightly and close my book.
“No I just, got to thinking about Earth, and my life, I guess I’m just a little home sick,” I mumble out those last words. I want to be honest with Felix but I don’t want him beating himself up for my situation. I mean yes he is the reason I’m stuck here but I don't hate him for it. Felix frowns and closes his own book.
“Ah... I am sorry about that, I-“ I sit up interrupting him.
“No no no, I'm not mad at you, I’m actually quite enjoying my time here. I mean I don’t have to make drinks for annoying customers everyday here,” I force a laugh but it comes out awkwardly. Felix gives me a quizzical look. I then realize, with the amount of times he calls “dear barista” I just assumed he knew what it meant. “Yknow, my job? A barista?” Felix flushes and avoids looking at me.
“I must admit.. I do not actually know what that is,” I cant help but chuckle, the great necromancer Felix, is embarrassed to not know something.
“Well my dear teacher," I emphasize the word teacher mimicking the way he calls me, "allow me to educate you on some Earth information,” I sit cross legged and scoot closer to him book in my lap. Felix adjusts to face me properly and removes his glasses. I clear my throat and smile at him. “My part time occupation of being a Barista, requires me to make drinks for customers and sell them, more often I make coffee but sometimes people order tea. We sell pastries as well,” Felix gives me yet another confused look.
“All you do is prepare drinks and flakey confectioneries?” I nod in response with a smile, I can only imagine what he assumed a Barista was. Felix chuckles and runs a hand through his hair, “All this time I thought it was something more complicated, you described your customers as being annoying? I am assuming you do not like this particular job?”
“Well, I don't hate it but the customers can get a little rude and for the dumbest reasons too. One time a woman threw her drink at me claiming I added 3 1/2 shots of espresso and rather than 3,” I laugh to my self looking back at the memory, chuckling more when I see Felix’s horrified expression.
“A woman... threw a drink at you? Because she deemed it made incorrectly? I did not except Earth customs to be so. . . Barbaric,” Felix looks at me astonished and confused but all I can do is laugh. “And why are you laughing? Are you alright did she hit your head when she assaulted you with a beverage?” Felix is now standing while I clutch my stomach in pain, the combination of the story and Felix’s confusion is too much to bare. After a minute I manage to calm down enough to speak.
“No no, she did not hit me in the head, I’m just laughing cause it was funny, well at the time it wasn’t but my co workers took pictures and I looked ridiculous. I can laugh about it now,” I wipe a stray tear from my eye as I recount the experience. Thank god her drink was iced.
“Picture?” Felix chimes in. I try to think of how to explain how photography works but I come up with an idea.
“Why don’t I show you?” I stand handing Felix my book and I jaunt over to Anisa’s desk. I let her peruse my backpack because she seemed so interested in my “Earthly items” as she called them. I walked back over and sit on the floor, patting the ground next to me so Felix can join.
“You known there is a perfectly good sofa right next to you, I don’t understand why you wish to sit on the ground like we are mere children,” but despite his protests Felix sits next to me still clutching our books. I rummage through my back tossing the other items to the side. My wallet, a flyer, a jacket, that granola bar which has definitely crumbled to pieces in its package. Until I finally find it, my phone. My first night here I instinctively tried to use it, forgetting I am now stuck in a world without wifi or cell towers. In an effort to hopefully conserve its battery I hard shut off my phone I did not think I would need it but now is an opportunity for me to educate Felix about my world rather than his and tell him a little about myself. Really I just want a reason to prolong my time from reading anymore history. I hold the power button and silently pray. Please have some battery left, please please. Felix is leaning towards me, his face inching closer to mine, I glance at him studying his expression. He looks confused, and curious at the same time, there's a slight scrunch in his brow like he’s trying to seem like he understands what I’m doing, but I know he doesn’t. In that moment his eyes meet mine, I turn my head to fully face him, a blush creeps up his face and I can feel mine begin to warm as well. “Felix-“
BING
We both jump at the sound of my phone turning on. Damn phone, well I guess I kinda asked for that. Felix sits back and clears his throat.
“Um, what, what is that?” His voice wavers slightly but I choose to ignore it to save him some dignity.
“Its my phone, on Earth nearly everyone has one of these. You can use it to communicate with other people, take pictures, look things up, and listen to music.” I begin to unlock it and open my photo album.
“You can communicate with other people? On this... this flat brick?” Felix points accusatory at my phone the scrunch in his eyebrows have intensified creating deep crevices on his forehead. I nod while I scroll through trying to find the photo.
“Yup and take pictures, such as this one,” I turn my phone to face Felix revealing the image documenting the after affects of being assaulted with coffee. He leans over to get a better look. In the picture I'm standing by the cash register, soaked through my clothes in an extra large coffee's amount of liquid. The brown liquid stains my apron and the parts on my white shirt poking out from underneath. There's smeared whipped cream going across my shoulder up my neck and partially along my jaw, and the scowl on my face could kill a man. The instant I show the picture to Felix he plants a hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter. He turns away in an attempt to hide his amusement but I know he wont last.
“Im-I must apologize I did not mean to laugh but, but the look on your face is hilarious,” Felix faces me again trying to hide his smile with the back of his hand. I start to chuckle, I turn the phone back to me and swipe to the next picture. Its a similar picture but in this one my co worker put whipped cream on top of my head, something about it “completing the look”. When I show this picture to Felix it breaks his terrible attempt of remaining poise. He laughs loudly, and it’s extremely contagious. I laugh along with him reminiscing in his beautiful laugh. Every once in a while we calm down until we look at the picture and we start up again. After a bit I’m able to calm down enough to speak.
“Don’t feel bad for laughing, at the time I was pissed but my co workers cheered me up and now I have these memories to laugh at,” I start to look through my album again as Felix calms down from his laughing high. I find more pictures to show him. Some are of me at work with my co workers, one picture of me laughing as I held a dog that jumped through the drive through window. I show him more pictures, some are of earth sunsets which Felix claimed to look like they belong in a painting. I also show him a picture of some Geese I saw while on a walk, and then a picture of said Geese chasing me. This gets Felix to laugh again but not as hard.
“You lead an interesting life on Earth, it seems similar to Sage you are also prone to provoke others into attacking you,” I roll my eyes at Felix’s joke and give him a friendly shoulder bump. Its at this moment I realize how close he’s sitting. Our books set aside and Felix is leaning on one arm politely looking over my shoulder at my phone, I can tell he doesn’t really understand how it works but it seems he’s enjoying this moment to much to ask. In an attempt to keep the sweet moment I change the subject.
“Hey do you want to listen to some Earth music?” With a nod from Felix I close the app and instinctively go to press my streaming app. Damn no Internet. I think for a second and remember I have some music I bought in times before streaming apps existed. I find the app and open it. Dear god my taste was cringey. I scroll through the songs until I stumble across a less than embarrassing song. “This is a classic where I come from, everyone has heard this song at least once. I lay back onto the floor so I can properly listen to the music. Felix looks at me and awkwardly lays down as well, I click on the song allowing it to play.
Just a small town girl
Livin' in a lonely world
She took the midnight train goin' anywhere
Just a city boy
Born and raised in South Detroit
He took the midnight train goin' anywhere
Felix gives me a puzzled look but I just shrug and look up at the ceiling. I close my eyes and take in the song as it plays. If I concentrate hard enough I can imagine my self back on Earth. Sitting in my room listening to 80s music while I do laundry or cook my dinner. I start to feel nostalgic again but I try not let my emotions take over. The song ends and I pause it before it plays the next song. I roll onto my side and rest my head on my hand.
“So what’d you think?” I beam at Felix, I genuinely want to know what he thinks of Earth music, and more specifically a song that I am quite fond of. Felix is laying flat on his back, he ankles crossed and his hands laying on his chest. He looks nervous to be laying on the ground next to me but has made no attempts to leave.
“I thought it was... interesting to say the least. It had quite a captivating story although I was confused when the subject changed multiple times, and what exactly are they trying to “not stop believing” in” Felix does air quotes and seems genuinely enthralled in the “story” of the song. I smile and start to look for another song.
“How about you choose the next one?” I tilt my phone towards him. Felix sits up at my question.
“I dont feel very well versed in Earth music though,” He mumbles. I shrug at his comment.
“Just pick one with a name that sounds interesting to you” I show Felix how to use the phone and hand it to him laying back down. I peek at Felix, he’s holding the phone in one hand and is scrolling with the other, he’s holding it like an old man. I watch his face, he’s thoroughly looking at every single song title and determining whether they are interesting or not. I find it... cute, his concentration face is cute. Oh if he caught me staring I know he would become a blubbering blushing mess, I mean I would be too. I close my eyes again as I wait for him to pick.
“This one seems interesting,” I hum in response, but when Felix says the title out-loud and panic seizes through me. I sit up and shout WAIT but I'm too late. He already pressed it. And then I hear it.
That dreaded, infamous G note. Felix turns towards me surprised and hastily hands the phone to me, I pause it before another note can play.
“Hells MC what will that song make my head explode or something??? You nearly made my heart stop.” Felix takes a deep breath with his hand on his chest.
“I'm sorry, that song its kind of embarrassing actually,” I can feel myself flushing, I look away in embarrassment at the fact that I had that song downloaded and the fact that I nearly sent my teacher into cardiac arrest.
“Embarrassing how?” Felix looks at me puzzled. I open my mouth to speak but then stop. Hold on a second, Felix doesn’t know this band, let alone what an emo phase is. Well judging by his raven skull necklace he does but not in the way I do. I guess it wouldn’t be so bad if we listened to it. I do still like their music. But god did it HAVE to be this song. I clear my throat and look back at Felix.
“Nothing, it’s nothing I was just being dramatic,” I stifle a laugh. “We can listen to it, I actually quite like this band,” Felix nods and turns to face my direction, were now both sitting cross legged and I press play on the song. I smile a little as the song plays and close my eyes again. I cant even remember the last time I listened to this song. My mind begins to wander again, to my younger years when I first heard this song.
I was such a try hard back then, wanting so badly to “be different” but also to mend the emotional pain I was going through, and this band really helped me through it. This song is a little more narrative than the last one so I hope Felix would like it. I can’t believe I freaked out like I did god he must think I'm crazy, or maybe that lady really did hit my head when she threw that drink at me. As the song plays I silently hum to it, quiet enough so that Felix might not hear. I drink in the lyrics and instruments and it feels like I'm listening to it again for the first time.
The song ends and I open my eyes again to pause the music before it plays another one.
“So what did you think of tha-“ before I can continue I'm stopped by the sight of Felix’s face. His eyes are misty and his nose is colored pink. Was he... was he crying? Felix looks at me and his eyes go wide. He quickly turns away and rubs at his face.
“There-there is quite a lot of dust on this floor, honestly you would think Annie would have any sense to clean in here every once in a while,” I cant help but smile, wow he really is a goth child.
“It’s ok Felix, this song makes me cry sometimes too,” Felix side eyes me and sniffles.
“I-I was not crying, yes I admit the song was... moving to say the least…. But, but I will not be mocked by you for my emotions,” Felix turns to face me again refusing to meet my eyes, his voice turning accusatory. I scoot closer to Felix and place a hand on his shoulder. He looks at me astonished and slightly flushed, either from the contact or the crying, I mean dust, I will never know.
“Congratulations” I say with a smile. Felix’s puzzled look twists even more.
“What ever are you talking about,” Felix questions.
“You’re emo now,”
#fictif games#fictif#fictif last legacy#last legacy fictif#last legacy#fictif felix#felix iskandar escellun#felix escellun#fictif sage#fictif anisa#crow writes
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Quotidian- chapter 2
Luna loved her sister so much
But seeing the 4 golden-eyed vampires in the living room, her current thoughts were the opposite of what a loving sister should have.
The audacity this bitch has
yup that was it.
that was the only thing that came to her mind.
Her sister was immortal with a loving new family.
A mate that loved her back
A kid that she could love and bother for the rest of her immortal eternal life.
So why ON EARTH did her sister have to bother her.
She would be long gone in a few months.
She was dying
she was one useless human out of the billions, just dying
She had cut off her parents a long time ago
earlier than Bella had
and she technically had also cut off her sister
who was now again in her living room
furious at her
"How dare you. I'm your sister. I love you so much and when I come home from Italy I'm met with a furious Charlie and my sister nowhere in sight? Do you know how worried I was? I don't care if you're a freaking shield who can shield herself from appearing in thoughts I was so WORRIED in case of the Volturi ever finding you. And you kept contact with Rosalie and not me? Do you know how fuckin reckless and dangerous that is? What if someone found your letters? NOT TO MENTION I KNOW ROSALIE TOLD YOU ABOUT THE ALEC VOLTURI, THE MOTHERFUCKIN WITCH TWIN BEING YOUR SOULMATE AND THE VOLTURI HAS A SHIT TON OF ENEMIES SO IF YOU USED YOUR FUCKIN BRAIN ONCE IN A WHILE YOU WOULD FIGURE OUT THAT NOT ONLY IS THE VOLTURI YOUR CONCERN BUT THE PEOPLE WHO HATE THE VOLTURI COULD'VE TORTURED U OR EVEN KILLED-
Bella's screams echoed through the living room
She was angry in a way a concerned mother was over her child.
She didn't get to finish before Luna interrupted her.
"I DON'T CARE. I'm DYING BELLA I'M DYING. IT'S BEEN YEARS SINCE I WAS DIAGNOSED AND I DECLINED YOUR OFFER TO TURN ME I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ANYMORE LEAVE ME ALONE. "
Luna stopped shouting when she saw her sister's face.
She looked absolutely heartbroken.
Luna continued her rant in a softer voice.
"Bella we all know that I won't even make it to 18. I don't know shit about the Volturi but I know one thing. Even if this Alec or witch twin is my soulmate, that changes nothing. He has his other twin. According to Carlisle they're inseparable and always will be. I'll always be #2 and he probably won't even glance at me if we even ever meet. I'm human. Bella, I'm human. He probably won't even bother with me and I just can't live an eternity stuck in a relationship with a dude who probably won't love me-"
"ok, you know what you need to shut up. The Volturi may have tried to kill my daughter but guess what? It's their job. They haven't met or heard of a half-human/vampire child so it was their duty to confront us. I can ignore the fact that they're basically murders if it's all for you. Luna, please. Carlisle told me about how rare soulmates are. Me and Edward were just blood singers and now we're mates. On the other hand, you and Alec haven't even met, yet you guys hold a possible stronger bond than us and we've spent two years/have a child together." Bella spoke while going to put her arm around Edward's waist.
"Bella just go. Please leave me alone." pleaded Luna
Luna was tired.
She had an expiration date above her head and she was emotional/mentally/ and physically drained.
"Just- Just, Luna please just hear me out."
Luna hopelessly let herself fall back on her couch and just helplessly looked up at her desperate sister's face.
Bella proceeded to walk towards her as she sat down next to her on the couch
" I want you to go to Italy with me. Hear me out please, I want you to come with me to Italy and just at least, meet him. Look him in the eye and tell him that you're going to be gone by next year. I want you to at least tell him before you make your decision. If you can do that, I'll accept it too and leave you alone." Bella finished, closely watching her younger sister's facial expression.
"Fine"
In a blur, Alice came forward with packed bags and suitcases.
She had basically packed everything Luna owned in less than 10 seconds after the word was spoken.
Luna was already regretting her decision.
They got off the plane at midnight.
The Volturi were notified of their visit, as they had Carliels with them, but they didn't about Luna.
All they had told the Volturi was that Bella's younger human sister who was dying would also be coming along.
They hadn't clarified the bond she would share with one of their most prized guards.
And because the human was dying, the Volturi looked over the fact that the Cullens had broken another law.
The human would be gone soon anyway so why bother.
Esme held Luna tight.
She was like the daughter she would have had
"Everything will go smoothly. We're staying for one night and then we're going to go back to Forks and you can choose to spend the rest of your days as you please," Carlisle reassured Luna in a gentle comforting voice.
She got into a car that Alice was driving, her sister choosing to sit next to her, reaching out for her hand to grasp tightly onto.
Bella gave Luna a reassuring and comforting look, but the look of sadness and hope was also visible in Bella's eyes.
Bella didn't care if her sister would end up being a normal vampire.
She just wanted her sister to exist with her for the rest of eternity.
When they had stopped by forks, she wished that when Luna was introduced to Renesmee, she would fall in love with her niece.
But who was she kidding.
Bella knew how much Luna had a distaste for children.
Not to mention Renesmee was the exact spitting image of Luna when she was around 10 years old, and Luna didn't like to remembring things from the past.
So during the short three hours, they stayed at the Cullen's residence, she avoided Renesmee like a plague while the child held a curiosity towards her only biological aunt.
Rosalie, Alice, and Edward were rolling over when they had seen childhood pictures of Luna.
But unlike Renesmee's bright hopeful happy eyes, Luna Swan's 10-year-old eyes showed different emotions.
Worry
Sadness
Frustration
In almost every picture, Bella had now realized that Luna Swan was never really happy.
Her sister had the most normal childhood, other than divorced parents and growing up without a proper father figure, Luna Swan had grown up normally.
Bella had once spent a whole week frustrated flipping through photo album after photo album trying to find a childhood picture of her younger sister not looking depressed or frustrated but she couldn't find anything.
She beat herself over and over again frustrated at how she never caught on to what her sister had felt over these past years.
She soon was brought out of her thinking with her sister shaking her.
"Bella we're here."
The golden-eyed pixie turned around giving her a small nod.
Felix and Demetri couldn't wait until their shift was over.
The Cullens would be coming over and they really didn't care until Aro had spoken about Bella Cullen's younger human sister who was dying.
They still didn't care but couldn't help their minds as they curiously pondered on this younger dying human.
#alec volturi#twilight#demetri volturi#new moon#the cullens#volturi#jane volturi#jasper hale#rosalie hale
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exile - cth
anon requested: hi hello🥺 can you please write a blurb(or a lil longer than a blurb) inspired by exile by taylor swift (with calum obv)🥺 want some angsty dialogue there🥺
summary: calum’s breakup feels like a movie he’s seen before.
author’s notes: hello! this was requested by an anon! it was such a good song and it finally made me listen to taylor’s new album so thanks for that! hope you enjoy!
warnings: mentions of breakup ups, sad calum, angst really.
masterlist
Calum had seen a lot of romantic movies in his time of being with her. He'd seen the classics where the two lovers end up together after thousands of struggles. He'd seen the ones where the two lovers ended up away from one another. Calum had even seen the ones where their love just wasn't enough to keep them together. He just never imagined his life would be turning into one of those, especially not the last one.
He'd been at the same party as her, something he wished he would've known because there'd be no way in hell that he would've showed up to see her in his arm laughing at the joke he'd read online months ago. He'd been fine with her being there, he was an adult and could handle seeing an ex at a party. He thought he was fine until he saw her run over to a guy he'd never seen before and hug him like he was the only person on planet Earth.
Calum's heart felt like it had been sucker-punched, he felt like he was frozen in time and that it was only five minutes ago that she'd walked out on the life they'd created in their small apartment hidden in the busy city. Now all he could do was watch her kiss some guy he'd never seen before while he held all their love on his wrist in black ink.
Calum was not okay. He hadn't been okay ever since that party. He'd gone home shortly after seeing them, making up an excuse about how Duke needed to go on a walk, and then he was out the door and racing home to try and stop the tears from falling down his cheeks. He felt like his life had become a movie ever since she'd walked out of that apartment. He felt like every day was just a montage of getting up and going through the same motions day after day. He walked through his half-empty apartment and tried to find himself as his friends, family, and his loved ones kept on moving and left him stuck in a movie scene he'd seen before.
She'd missed seeing Calum's smile. She missed the way his eyes scrunched up and the way that his laugh was too loud and how he tried to cover it up with his hand over his mouth. She felt the way his brown eyes followed her across the backyard and the way that not even the loud music could block out the gasp that fell from his lips. She could feel his eyes on her when she was in the arms of another and the way his body tensed when she pressed her lips to another cheek. Even when she hugged him and Calum's fists clenched and his eyes narrowed.
She'd planned to talk to him, using a drink refill as an excuse to find Calum and talk to him. She'd walked into the kitchen and looked around, looking for a bob of blonde curls that she'd seen walk in a few minutes ago. She spotted him, halfway out the door as he looked back into the house, his red eyes landing on hers before he quickly shut the door behind him and left her alone.
"I just...I can't do this anymore, Calum! I'm not some random girl from the bar who is just waiting for a callback! You're an adult you can handle yourself as you so clearly stated!" Her breathing was uneven now, her hands running through her hair as she tried to make sense of where she was and why she'd been fighting with the man she loved in the first place, "You're just so afraid of falling into a love that you're willing to destroy what we have. I'm not going to stand here and let you slowly rip my heart out, I-I can't let you do that."
She'd been reliving that moment ever since she'd seen him at that party. She'd laid in her bathtub, staring at the ceiling as she tried to think over ever mistake she had made since that night. That night was she walked out of his life and left him in that tiny apartment with nothing but the tears on the floor and the small dog barking.
"You know that I love you. You know that I would do everything to make you happy. You're my everything before you I just...I didn't even know I could love as much as I love you. A-and you're going to just throw it all away? Why? Because you're scared of loving me?" Calum's voice had never been one to falter. That was one thing she had always admired about him, he always spoke with confidence and honor, never once lying to her because that's what their relationship had been. It was trust and love and truth. And she was the one who got scared and threw it away.
She'd walked out of Calum's life four years ago. She walked out and Calum had to try and pick up the pieces and become whole again. He'd walked out of the party two years ago, thinking that his life was never going to stop replaying in front of his own eyes. It had been one year since he moved into his house with a suitcase and Duke running behind him while he carried in boxes of musical equipment. It had been a year and six months when he'd finally stopped thinking about her. When he finally felt free and could breathe in the fresh air in whatever city his life had brought him to that day. When he could finally see happy couples walking around hand in hand and not imagine himself being with her like in the beginning. It had taken her three days to get her things from the apartment and it had taken Calum longer to get rid of her ghost that seemed to linger in his life, for the little things he saw every day to stop reminding him of her.
Calum had bought a ring a week before she'd left. He'd hidden it in the sock drawer next to his bed and prayed that she never looked in there to find a pair of warm socks to wear during the chilly October nights they shared. A few weeks after she'd left and Calum had hit the bottom of his sock drawer, the little black box stared up at him as if to mock him. The ring inside had been a testament to Calum's love for her, a way to show her that he wanted more, that he wanted their souls to love one another even after the Earth had crumbled and everyone had been forgotten.
Calum thought he knew what she'd been thinking, that he could easily read her and tell when things weren't going okay. Thinking back on it, Calum had seen the signs but he was too in love to even try and acknowledge them. She'd get home late, usually without warning and in the early hours of the morning when Calum was lost in a dream world. She'd taken up more hours at her job, explaining to Calum that she'd been working on a super important project that needed more of her attention. Calum should've realized she was pushing him away, preparing him for a life without her in it. He should've known that when he got used to sleeping in bed by himself again when he started going out without her more often and the guys stopped questioning where she was, he should've known when he felt completely normal being on his own again after months of heartbreak.
The scent of coffee and the chilly air coming in from the front door that opened brought her back from her thoughts brought her back to the cafe where life seemed to be bustling around her. Her coffee was still steaming from the reusable cup she'd bring anytime she needed a break from the stuffy office where printers and phone lines crowded her mind. The trees outside were moving with the wind, swaying like colorful dancers in the sky, and she was once again pulled from her own thoughts of dancing and the chilly air when she heard the barista call out a name she hadn't heard in almost two years.
Watching Calum laugh warmed her heart, she missed the sound of his laugh and even if she hadn't been the one who was responsible for it anymore, she was grateful to be able to hear it once more. She watched him from where she sat near the back of the cafe, her eyes following him as he walked up to the counter and took his order off the counter. He looked good, his brown curls were covered up in a bucket hat but his smile lit up the entire cafe. He was dressed for the weather, dark jeans, and a dark yellow sweater that seemed to bring back too many memories of fall mornings together and reminding her that he always wore warm clothing since he usually ran cold. She could've stayed there all day and watch him if she could, but the notification on her phone informed her that she would be late for her meeting if she didn’t leave soon. So with one more look at the man she had let go, she stood and walked out the side door, a ping in her heart as she remembered when that smile from the man with the brown eyes was for her.
#calum hood imagine#5sos imagines#calum hood blurbs#5sos blurbs#calum hood oneshot#5sos oneshot#calum hood#5sos#5 seconds of summer#gemma writes#anon requested#song requests#exile taylor swift
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from eden | myg + jhs
you've been in the dark a long time, overworked and exhausted. the only bright point is your gatekeeper, hoseok, your closest friend and the man you love but can't have. you've accepted that loneliness is inevitable for you. when a voice calls to you, though, and moves you so deeply that you rip open the earth to help them, you meet a mint-haired boy that changes everything you thought you knew about your prison. | monsters and gods pt 1 (masterlist)
pairing | yoongi x reader x hoseok
genre/warnings | greek god au, hades!reader, thanatos!hoseok, persephone!yoongi, fluff, angst, smut, mild depictions of violence, mentions of blood (well, blood equivalent, bc gods), pining, depictions of abusive parenting, v v brief panic attack (seriously, I don’t go into a ton of detail, but it’s enough, pls don’t read this if that triggers you at all), love triangle (kind of), polyamory, , mutual masturbation, oral (female receiving), face-sitting, fingering, dick-riding, double penetration, unprotected sex (gods can't get sti's but u can! Wrap it b4 u tap it!), creampie, everyone hates Zeus but what's new, demeter sucks and is the literal worst
word count | 15.6k | cross posted to ao3 monsters and gods masterlis
a/n | hello! i’ve renamed this fic at least ten times, but it’s here!! the first part of monsters and gods!!! i keep seeing hades!yoongi (who i LOVE, don’t get me wrong, seriously you should check out @/seokoloqy’s hades yoongi fics because they’re PHENOM) and while I love hades yoongs, I also keep seeing him in flower crowns and being soft and sweet and, as we know by now, I am ultimately a slut for soft bangtan. so this happened. and then i thought ‘wow this mc is dark af i need some contrast here’ and that’s how thanatos hobi happened, also i couldn’t stop thinking of his Judgement Face, which is the hottest thing I’ve ever seen, and how fast he switches between that and his smile, plus.....sope, I mean. c’mon. sope. and then it all kinda spiraled into a whole series of fics, only one other of which is even started tho its close to being finished whoops lmao so yeah!!!! pls tell me what u think, i’m not used to writing angst at all, so it may not be suuuuuuper prevalent in this, but i tried!!! also i really recommend listening to hozier while you read it bc i had his first album on repeat while writing it and from eden fits this pretty well imo!!!
It's dark when you open your eyes. You've spent so long down here, you're used to it, but the shadows always seem to make the air colder than it should be. Though you suppose the land of the dead isn't supposed to be warm.
You stretch and wince at the crick in your spine. Another night sitting at your desk, greek fire burning through the hours so that you can scratch away at the papers in front of you. Your siblings always enjoy doing whatever they want, using mortals and throwing them away however they please, cleaning up after each other whenever they can spare the time.
No one ever seems to think about you, nor do they remember the chaos up top only worsens your constant migraines.
No, instead they start their wars and slaughter their enemies and are absolutely oblivious about the fact that the Meadow is at 80% capacity as it is, with more souls arriving each day. Thanatos did well at his job, as did Charon, and you were always sure to be thankful to them, but you wish, not for the first time, that there was someone - anyone - to help with your work.
Your brothers have the naiads, the winds, and the lesser gods to help them with their oceans and skies. Gods of vengeance and retribution help with war, while the fertility goddesses and the muses aid the lovelorn.
And yet here you are, still alone after all these years. Millenia, you've been stuck down here, forced to live out your days in the cold darkness and manage the dead mortals. You've always been introverted, even before you drew lots with your siblings, but never like this. You've tried to leave, of course; at first making short visits to Olympus or the mortal realm, just to speak to another living soul again, someone else who understands what it's like to be trapped in your own life. It seems like every time you came back, though, the underworld had gotten smaller and smaller, nearly suffocating you in an attempt to keep its claws in your skin. And then, of course, came the curse.
You haven't felt the sun on your skin in nearly a thousand years, and while you've always been one for the shade, you miss it. You miss the smell of the flowers in the temples, you miss the sound of the river as it babbles past, you want to feel the warm summer breeze ruffle your hair as you stand in the middle of a marketplace. You're tired of the Fields, you're bored of walking the streets of Elysium with the weight of their stares at your back, sick of standing at the steps to the Isles and wondering if it is, truly, euphoric and if any mortal would ever find out. You don't wear your sandals around the palace anymore; you don't want to hear the footsteps echo. It's just a reminder that you are, truly, alone.
Even the other deities in the Underworld have stopped calling on you. The aura that surrounds you is enough to wilt most any plant, unnerve most every animal, and the gods are no exception. The only exceptions are Hecate, who makes it her personal mission to bribe you into visiting the Meadow if only for a moment, and Thanatos when he can slip away for longer than a moment to distract you from your work. They rarely succeed, but it's the thought that counts, you suppose.
You muse on this as you walk, bare feet skimming lightly over the soil of the Meadow as you make your way to the Gates. You could probably just shadow-walk, if you wanted, you do enjoy giving your Thanatos a fright, but you figure the walk would do you good. There’s no one to bother you as go, thankfully. The dead wander aimlessly around you. There's no acknowledgment as you pass; there's never any recognition of anything in the Meadow, the price mortals pay for being so utterly inconsequential and mundane.
You smile when you see that your friend is busy, and you give a silent command to Cerberus not to alert the man to your presence. The dog whines a little, but sits back on his haunches, shaking the ground as he does so. You're silent as you move up behind the judge.
"You wanted me to tell you my judgment and I have," Hoseok says firmly. "You could have gone straight to the Asphodel Meadow and existed in relative peace for eternity, and instead you request a hearing, and then have the gall to question my decision?" You grimace slightly; perhaps putting Hoseok in charge of judging the souls was not the best idea, but he has yet to be wrong about someone.
"Please, sir," The mortal whimpers. He's on his knees, suit crumpled and dirty where he sits. "I was only doing what I thought was best, please, surely that matters."
"You used children!" Hoseok says in shock. "As slaves! It's 2019 and you had nearly a hundred seven-year-olds sewing clothes together in a cramped warehouse with one bathroom. You seriously expect me to give you leniency because you thought that was best?"
"Their families would have starved without that money," The mortal says. He's on the verge of tears, which has always made you uncomfortable, so you stay hidden for now. "I kept them all fed and safe, didn't I? What would they have done without me? Gone to work in some factory, with dangerous machines and cruel managers, whipped every time they needed to eat?"
"You used children as nearly free labor, barely allowed them time to piss, fed them once every twelve hours, and you expect that to be okay because they could’ve had it worse," Hoseok says. Disgust drips from his voice and you’re inclined to agree with the sentiment. "I respect your opinion, but you are to be punished for your deeds fittingly." Hoseok snaps and two of the Bones come over. These two are in desert camo, one barely tall enough to be an adult judging by the skeletal build, but their grip is unforgiving as they cart the mortal off to the Fields. You don’t even need to mold together a punishment for him; the warehouse you sent others who’d done the same wasn’t quite crowded enough yet.
"Well, that was fun," You call, and delight at the way Hoseok jumps nearly a foot in the air. He glares at you as he turns and you don't bother to hide the smirk on your face. "Child slavery, huh? In this day and age?"
Hoseok tsks. "I know we used to allow some crazy shit back in the old days, but you'd think that people would know better by now. Using children like that, kids…” He trails off, still fuming, and you nod.
“I know.” You pull a piece of lint off his suit with a wrinkle of your nose. “You made the right decision if it helps.”
“I know I did,” He says with a smirk. “I always do.” You roll your eyes and turn away from him, watching the lines of souls head through the gates to their eternal blandness. It's the best way to hide the flush he brings to your cheeks. “What brings you out here, though? Aren’t you supposed to be doing something important?”
“Don’t I wish,” You mutter. “All I’ve got to do is figure out how to expand the realm again without Zeus’ approval.”
“Wait, he didn’t approve the expansion?” You shake your head and step closer to where Cerberus is laying, all three heads focused entirely on you as you rub his middle nose. “Where does he think we’re going to put all of the souls, up your ass?”
“Clearly,” You spit.
“I know it’s not exactly great down here and that they would all rather be thrown into the Pit than visit, but they need to sometimes. If only to see what it’s like. I mean, honestly, what do they expect us to do, just toss everyone in the Meadow and call it a day until there are so many that they’re tripping into Elysium? What the f-”
“Thanatos,” You say quietly, and Hoseok stops. It’s not often that you call him by his title rather than his name, preferring the familiarity of his friendship over the detachment of your positions. “Even here, the gods have ears. You know better than to criticize them like that.”
He huffs but nods his head. You press a kiss to Cerb’s middle nose and coo at him until he starts wagging his tail. When you turn back around, Hoseok is stumbling to keep his balance on the shaking ground. You laugh, which he does not appreciate, but before he can say anything in his defense, another soul is escorted to him by a Bones. The guy is already pleading with Hoseok, who’s returned to the stony mask he usually wears. The silver aura that surrounds him always brings you comfort, reminding you of the moonlight that bathes the surface world, but it has turned colder and is as deadly as mercury. You envy the way he can switch back and forth between his professional mask and the bright, loving man you know; if only it were that easy for you. Without so much as a wave, you weave the shadows around you once more, ignoring the soul's cries to you for mercy, and let yourself disappear into the darkness.
When you emerge from the shadows, you settle at the base of your garden tree. The only living thing that would grow down here, the sole reminder of the world above. Its branches show that it should be close to the harvest soon, maybe a month away at the most. You reach up, weaving through the darkness to pluck a pomegranate from the tree. You don't even like pomegranates anymore, you think as you inspect it. Ripe, juicy, and utterly disgusting; the gods' idea of a joke. The thing that brought about your isolation, your solitude, yet it continues to be the only thing that grows in this wasteland.
You laugh bitterly before tossing the fruit up in the air, letting it fly through the shadows to land beside Hoseok, whatever he's doing. He always appreciates your little gifts, the only real thing you can do to show that you aren't cross with him and are glad for the work he does. He's long been stuck here with you, but the fruit doesn't turn to bile on his tongue the way it does yours. Perhaps the willingness he had that first time made a difference.
Please.
You glance around, looking for the voice that suddenly echoes around you. It's soft, a memory of a whisper. It's not rare for you to hear the voices of the dead in your realm, but this is different. This one strikes you to your core, for this…
This one sounds hopeful.
The prayers that make their way to you are never hopeful. They are sad or angry or scared, always filled with tears and regret and more than a little hesitancy, but never do they have any shred of hope in them.
You stand, eyes narrowed as you look through the darkness for whatever soul may be calling to you.
Please. I don't want to go back. Don't let her take me.
Without thinking, you reach into the shadows. The blackness swirls around your fingers, unsure where you're trying to go. You don't know yourself, and you wish you did. You aren't sure why you're doing this; you rarely answer prayers, least of all the ones that don't mention you specifically, but something in this voice calls to you. It resonates in your chest, shakes your very being because you remember that feeling. You remember the way it felt to be free, standing in the sun and clawing at the earth as Gaia dragged you back down to your post, tears mixing with the dirt as you pleaded, begged her not to take you back down there.
With a jerk, you pull the shadows apart, and the ground quakes above you. You watch, anxiety pooling in your gut, and it's only the intensity of your focus that lets you see it: a figure, falling limply through the earth that you've opened. The string of curses you let out would make even Ares blush, and it's with a rush you haven't felt in millennia that you weave the shadows together into a net and toss it upwards. The figure falls into it with ease, shadows wrapping around the body to glide gently downwards until they can deposit the person with ease at the roots of your tree.
Your breath catches in your throat as the darkness recedes, revealing soft mint hair with flowers woven into it, pale green robes that are sliced nearly in half at the back and caked with mud. The man is beautiful and soft and bright, every inch the antithesis to your own black and grey clothes. You hesitate to even look at him, too afraid of dulling that sun-kissed skin with the death you carry on your fingertips.
His brow furrows and he winces, though his eyes remain closed. You blink owlishly before guiding the shadows around him once more; when you're sure he's secure, you pull him along behind you until you reach the only spare room you have in the palace. You situate him on the bed there, fluffing pillows and smoothing blankets until you can almost pretend he fell asleep there of his own accord. With pursed lips, you assign three of your Bones to watch him; one just inside the door and two outside of it, just in case whatever he was running from attempts to come for him.
You don't want to leave him, but you have work to do, and the land of the dead cannot rule itself.
It's dark when he opens his eyes. There is Greek fire in the corner, and shadows dancing on the walls around it, but he cannot make out much else. When he sits up and slides his feet off what feels like a bed, he hisses. The marble is cold and unforgiving against the bare skin of his feet and he doesn't know of any feeling like it. He's too accustomed to the dirt and grass from his mother's domain, and even the white marble of Olympus was warm to the touch. This is different. Alarming. New.
He eventually works up the nerve to stand fully. Looking around, he doesn't see any kind of light sources other than the brazier in the corner, so he grips one of the coals in his palm and uses that bit of light to find the door. The fire tingles against his skin, but he's long since grown used to holding fire in his palms for his mother. The warmth is comforting for a brief moment before the image of his mother flashes through his mind. He flinches at the memory of her face, twisted with wrath, and the stone drops out of his grip before he can catch it.
The marble of the wall is cool against his back as he slides to the ground, knees brought up to his chest and his eyes screwed shut against the darkness. There's a vice around his chest and he can't breathe and he can't see and he doesn't have any idea where he is or if he's even alive or if she's stuffed him somewhere he'll never be able to escape and the thought makes his head spin as the air catches in his throat and gods don't even truly need to breathe and yet he can feel the cold claws of death tighten around his throat and all he can see in his final moments is the horrifying face of his mother's anger and he can feel the vines and roots around his ankles once more and-
"Who the hell are you?"
He looks up, pushing the sweat-covered hair out of his eyes. There's a man, in the darkness, who exudes a faint silver light around him that illuminates the walls and black marble floor. The man doesn't seem angry that he's there, or even all that surprised; just curiously resigned. There are so many questions on the tip of his tongue, so much he wants - needs - to know but only one makes it past the rock lodged in his windpipe.
"Am I dead?"
The man frowns and shakes his head. "I seriously doubt it, since you didn't cross the river." The man looks him over, taking in the flushed skin and sweat beads and the purple robes he donned the moment he decided to run and seems to decide something. He crouches down so he's eye level, poised on the balls of his feet with his elbows on his knees, and even in a full suit, he looks impeccably put-together. "I'm Thanatos. You can call me Hoseok. If you'll let me, I'd like to take you to someone who probably has a better idea of what you're doing here." All he can do is nod, and Hoseok extends a hand, which he uses to bring himself to a shaky stand.
"I'm Yoongi," He says, hesitant and quiet. "Um, I'm Kore. Or, Persephone. Either one."
"I think I'll stick with Yoongi," Hoseok says. His smile lights the hallway that Yoongi stands in, and it eases something inside him, though he isn't sure what. Hoseok doesn't let go of his hand as he guides Yoongi through the corridors, and talks to him the entire time. He speaks of his duties there, souls he's judged that day, ones he wished he could do more for, comforts Yoongi when a walking skeleton in Roman armor passes him and explains that those are the security force of the palace. By the time they make it to a large room, lit on each side with braziers of Greek fire that give the room an eerie glow, Yoongi has a fairly good idea of where he is, and who Hoseok is taking him to see.
The large ebony throne at the end of the room and the black-robed figure sitting atop it only confirms his fears.
When Hoseok enters the throne room, you're only slightly surprised. It wasn't entirely uncommon for him to take a break from his judicial duties, and so long as there were plenty of Bones to watch the gates, you had no issues. Years would sometimes pass before Hoseok needed to return, relieving the judgment council once more and returning them to their own afterlives.
To see him shadowed by the mint-haired boy you pulled through the earth, however, is a shock.
You set the papers you'd been writing at to the side. Your robes, woven from shadows and dipped in the Styx, swirl around your bare feet as you move to sit correctly with your back straight instead of lounging as you'd been doing before. The darkness you’d brought forth to cushion your chair, plump and fat and soft underneath you, shifts as well, keeping the hard edge of the marble from digging into your skin. Hoseok stifles a smile at the sight and you narrow your eyes at him. You wish he'd say something about it, the punk.
"What can I do for you, Hoseok?" You eventually ask as he and his companion reach the steps just below your throne. Even now, you can barely bring your eyes away from the boy behind him; he's radiant, the light in the room seemingly drawn to him despite the way he's slouched into himself.
"I was just wondering if you knew how this young man came to be in the underworld, my lady," Hoseok says. Your eyes dart back to him and you can't help the way your heart softens at the soft silver shine around him. You look to the mint-haired god again; his eyes dart around nervously as if he expects something to jump out at him, and he's close enough to Hoseok that if the other were to step back, they'd both likely fall to the floor.
You lean forward in your throne, doing your best to project a calm and friendly air to the shorter of the two gods. "Do you not remember?" You ask quietly. Your eyes don't leave his big brown ones, and you can see the moment the panic sets in. "It's fine, you don't need to answer me. Just know that you're safe here."
"Yoongi?" Hoseok says quietly, drawing the boy's attention. "Hey, it's alright. We're not gonna let anything happen." It takes several minutes but eventually the boy - Yoongi, apparently - nods. He hasn't relaxed at all, but he doesn't seem like he's about to bolt out of your throne room, so you consider it a success.
"You were praying," You tell him softly. "You asked for my help, so I gave it, as best I could. I don't think you meant for your words to reach me, but they did." Yoongi frowns ever so slightly as he takes in the knowledge. There's a hint of anxiety in his face, his brow furrowed adorably, but he doesn't startle when Hoseok rests a hand on his shoulder. He looks up, though, and the two of them seem to have a silent conversation. Something settles in your stomach, seeing the ease with which Hoseok interacts with him, and you swallow down the lump in your throat. It's ridiculous to feel anything like this; Hoseok is your subordinate and friend, and you've hardly known Yoongi for five minutes.
"He can stay here, right?" Hoseok asks. You look to Yoongi, wondering if he even wants to stay, if he even wants to be here at all or if he wished someone else had answered his prayers. Hoseok calls your name softly and your gaze flicks to him. "Can he stay?"
You find that you're debating with yourself. Yoongi clearly doesn't belong here; he is soft and sweet and gentle and completely at odds with the harsh, depressive atmosphere that lingers in your palace. He looks terrified even now as he takes in the room, eyes lingering on the bones that were fused together to make your throne. And yet...you cannot escape the fear and hope that had echoed in his prayer, the sheer desperation that someone would help him. He had been running and terrified, which could only mean that he was being chased by something or someone, and you couldn't force him out if he was in danger.
"If you would like to stay," You say after a moment too long, "Then you are, of course, more than welcome to do so." You rise from your throne, shadows dissipating as you do, and take a couple of tentative steps toward the pair. He doesn't shrink back in fear, which you take as a good sign. "The guest quarters will be yours to do with as you please. Hoseok can show you around the palace and grounds, so you don't get lost, and the Bones can bring you anything you require." You move to press a hand to Hoseok's arm, and you level him with a careful look.
"Of course, my lady," Hoseok says. He turns to Yoongi with a radiant smile. "And you can leave whenever you'd like."
"Of course," You agree quickly. "Hoseok can take you back and forth across the river as you wish. Charon can be quite fussy about it." Several times, your guests have been stuck on the wrong side of the river until someone brought your ferryman his payment. Yoongi looks slightly less terrified, and in the emerald glow of the fires, you notice how wide his eyes are. "Oh! You're from the surface, of course, I forgot."
With a snap of your fingers, the sconces along the walls light themselves, and the candles ringing the large chandelier in the center of your throne room surge to life as well. Yoongi startles a little, stepping closer to Hoseok.
"Ah, I forget you surfacers can't see as well down here," Hoseok mutters. "We'll get you a candlestick as well, just in case." He nods to you, Yoongi copying him in a most adorable way. They're halfway out of the room when a thought occurs to you.
"Yoongi?" You call after him. He turns, and the green halo around him makes your heart falter. "Don't eat the pomegranates. Not even the seeds." His brow furrows in confusion but he gives a hesitant nod before he turns and hurries after Hoseok.
As much as your chest aches for him, you won't subject him to this life. You watch him go and wonder how long he'll last in this hellscape.
When their shadows have long disappeared from the walls, you turn and retake your seat on the throne. With a wave, a small team of Bones appears in front of you - the same uniforms, with the same unit numbers, stamped on their dog tags, and the same haunted look where their eyes once were - and you do a quick count. Ten should do fine for what you need.
"Scour the earth. Do not speak to anyone. Find out what he was running from, and if it still searches for him. Don't let anyone see you, and don't let anyone know why you're looking. Return if you're in danger. Report to me immediately." They salute, and you watch their forms slowly disappear, becoming more and more transparent until they glide upwards and through the cracks in the ceiling.
You sit back and wonder how long it will take for you to get answers, and if it will be before or after Yoongi realizes he's too good for this place.
Yoongi is quiet. That's the first thing Hoseok notices about him. He doesn't initiate conversation, really, instead content to listen to Hoseok talk about the various souls he's judged and the occasional escape attempts someone has made. At first, when Yoongi speaks, he's quiet, like he doesn't really want - or expect - to be heard, and he always looks pleasantly surprised when Hoseok answers his question or responds to his comments.
It makes his heart ache, and he wonders what exactly Yoongi has gone through to make him so shocked that anyone would actually listen to what he has to say. It takes weeks for him to warm enough to Hoseok to start speaking more often, to ask questions about his day, to actually request specific things. The day Yoongi asked Hoseok, soft and hesitant, if he could show him the Meadow and the tree, Hoseok almost cried. Yoongi was so obviously ready to be told no, fully expectant for Hoseok to decline such a simple request, and it only reinforced Hoseok's need to give the god everything he could ever want.
"What are you doing, Yoongi?" Hoseok asks when he looks up. They're at the gates, Hoseok in the usual position, eyes roving over the lines of souls slowly shuffling forward, and Yoongi sitting nearby. Cerberus is curled up behind him, dwarfing the god with his massive body, all three heads snoring and slobbering as they sleep haphazardly on top of each other. Yoongi glances up at Hoseok as he grabs another flower from the basket beside him.
"I'm making Cerb some flower crowns," Yoongi answers as if it was obvious. Hoseok frowns.
"Flower crowns?" He echoes. "What's a flower crown?"
Yoongi gives him a disbelieving stare. "It's a bath salt. What the fuck do you think it is, Hobi? It's a crown made of flowers." Hoseok is caught off guard by the sarcasm, as he has been every time Yoongi has spouted off some kind of sass to him. He strides over and crouches beside the mint god to watch him.
Yoongi's fingers are sure and steady as he weaves the stems of the flowers together. It's already half-dozen, Hoseok thinks, the crocus blossoms blending together prettily and not straying in the slightest from where he places them. Hoseok hasn't ever seen anything like it, and he's entranced by the way Yoongi's fingers move and the way the flowers seem to just do whatever he wants without much coaxing on his part.
"I had the Bones bring me back a basket from their last excursion," Yoongi says. "Since none grow here." He stops with one last crocus and eyes it critically before apparently deciding it was good enough. Hoseok can't take his eyes off the thing, enraptured even as Yoongi sets it gently on his head. Hoseok can feel his eyes widen and his cheeks flush red.
"Thanks," He says after a second, one hand darting up to steady the crown as he shifts his weight. He smiles, unable to help himself and poses. "What do you think? Does it suit me?"
"Ugh, you wish," Yoongi says. Hoseok can see the smile in his eyes and is satisfied with the mirth threatening to bubble past Yoongi's lips.
"Y'know," Hoseok says after a while, hands in his pockets as he watches Yoongi make the second crown for Cerb. "I bet if you planted some seeds near the pomegranate tree, they'd grow." Yoongi's hands stop moving, his eyes drifting up to look past Hoseok. Something similar to excitement hides behind his eyes, and Hoseok wants nothing more than to bring it out to shine. Yoongi cocks a brow as if to say 'really' and Hoseok nods.
The gummy smile he gets in return, full of hope and light that the underworld hasn't ever seen before, is well worth the potential scolding you may give him for suggesting Yoongi fiddle with the tree's courtyard. And the way he keeps the flower crown nearby, hanging off a hook on the gates long after the blossoms have wilted and died, is worth the shy smile Yoongi gets every time he sees it.
You don't see Yoongi for the first few weeks he's there. Not really. You catch glimpses when he passes through the palace halls with Hoseok, and he sits with Cerberus while you visit Hoseok at the gates, but he makes no effort to seek you out, and you respect that distance. You can't bring yourself to force your company on him. You're an acquired taste; Hoseok has been in this realm for so long that he's accustomed to the darkness that follows you, the aura of death and despair that usually surrounds you. He's been surrounded by the dead almost as long as you have, so you know he can't be affected by it. Yoongi, though…
Yoongi is life. He's the springtime blossoms in a summer breeze, he's the sound of birds chirping in the treetops, he's vibrant and fresh and lovely and you cannot ruin that. You can't watch him wither away like a winter garden, you can't watch the color drain from his skin until he's just as much a ghost as the souls that wander the Meadow, you can't let him become just as dead as everything else in this cursed place.
So you leave him be. You offer curt nods when you see him with Hoseok and polite waves because giving any more of yourself to him without letting yourself get closer would be too dangerous. Even with the distance you keep, your chest tightens with every smile that graces his lips, you ache to hear his voice even just once, and it's too much. It's too much for someone you haven't even had a real conversation with. Someone who looks at you with apprehension and anxiety, yet brings undeniable joy to the man you've always held in your heart.
It's too much for you to feel like this for someone who makes Hoseok smile as if he's seeing sunlight for the first time in thousands of years. You love Hoseok too much to stand anywhere near them.
You've been avoiding both of them for days. You can't bear to see Yoongi's gummy smile and Hoseok's adorable dimples as they gaze at each other, and you're busy enough to make a decent excuse for it. Expansion isn't difficult, but keeping it quiet is. Plus you've been on the hunt to figure out what had been after Yoongi with such ferocity that it sliced right through his robes and had him praying to anyone who would listen.
You had a few helpful leads, but nothing concrete, and it was more than a little frustrating. Which is why you find yourself stepping out of the shadows of the pomegranate tree, hopeful that it could help to ease even just part of the emotions rolling in your gut.
The sight of Yoongi surprises you, even more so when you see that he's on his knees beside the tree with dirt covering his hands and a smidge of something on his cheek. He looks absolutely wondrous, like everything you've been missing from the world above, and it would bring tears to your eyes if you let it because he's so far out of your reach.
"Hi," You say after a long debate with yourself. Yoongi's head shoots up and he fixes wide eyes on you. He reminds you of the ones who come to you with no memory of what's happened to them, scared and alone and about to get the worst news of their lives. "What are you doing?"
"I'm sorry," He says immediately. "I didn't mean to, not really. You just said not to eat them, and I'm not, so I thought it would be okay. Hobi suggested it and you two are so close that I figured he'd know if you'd be upset."
"I'm not upset." Your voice is as gentle as you can make it. "I'm just curious. Hoseok didn't mention anything to me, and no one really comes here."
"Oh." The relief is palpable as it courses through him, and he looks back down at the ground in front of him. "I'm just planting some flowers so I can make more crowns for Hobi and Cerb. The others died so fast, and I don't want to keep sending the Bones out to get more if I don't have to."
"Oh, you made the flower crown for Hoseok?" You'd figured as much. No one else in the underworld knew how to make them, and Yoongi was the only consistently around him. "He showed me that, it was gorgeous."
"Obviously, it was made by me, after all," Yoongi spouts. You gape at him, and he gives you a contrite grimace. "I'm sorry, my lady Hades, I forgot who I was with for a moment. It won't happen again."
"It should," You say before you can stop yourself. He glances at you curiously. "I don't mind if you're relaxed and casual around me. I've never been one to enforce the rules that Olympus has. Hoseok is proof enough of that. And you can use my name, I don't mind."
The way he whispers your name, almost as if he's practicing it to himself, makes your heart flutter in your chest. It's so dangerous to be around him like this, relaxed and casual; it's so easy to forget that it's Hoseok that gets this, that deserves this small piece of sunshine.
"Well," Yoongi eventually says. "In that case, you can get to work. I've got an entire basket of seeds left to plant around this thing, and I can only work so fast. Plus I'm getting hungry."
"Oh. Okay, show me what to do." You don't hesitate to mirror his position, robes bunching under your knees in the dirt as he points at the small holes he's carved out of the dirt with the trowel and rake the Bones nabbed for him.
Yoongi is patient, you learn. Not extremely so, but he walks you through what you need to do with clear directions. The seeds are small in your hands, which amuses you to no end, and there's an odd delight in packing the soil around them and dripping water down onto them after. You're smiling for the first time in...you don't know how long, and the feeling of Yoongi's hands around yours as he shows you how to use the trowel is something akin to paradise.
His hands are rough; calloused and weathered and wonderful against the softness of your own. You start to talk freely to him, asking him about each seed you plant and what they are and how they look. He tells you about each one, the deep timbre of his voice like music to your ears. He rolls his eyes at every joke you make, despite the way he smiles, and hits back with several quips of his own. He listens as you tell him, voice shaking, about the pomegranate tree, and how it curses anyone who eats its fruit to stay trapped in the underworld forevermore. He talks and listens and jokes and laughs and it's only after you've made a particularly ridiculous joke that you realize your mistake.
"You've spent too much time around Hobi," Yoongi says. "He made the same joke yesterday." He's looking down at the last few seeds, plotting where in the courtyard to put them, and doesn't see the way the smile dies on your face. You'd forgotten. For a brief time, you'd forgotten that this is just pretending.
You don't get to keep this. You don't get to stay here, in this courtyard, with Yoongi and his rough hands and the mint hair that falls in his eyes and his gummy smile. This isn't yours. You don't get flower crowns and jokes and soft kisses, no matter how much you want them, just like you don't get Hoseok's bright grin or his dimples or his long fingers intertwined with yours. Your heart aches for these two beautiful boys, both of them everything you could ever want in so many different ways. And yet you have neither of them, you don't get either of them. They are each other's, and there is no room there for the death you bring in your wake. You kill everything you touch; the mortals whisper about the cold grip of your hands on their neck as they pass over.
You look back over the seeds you've helped Yoongi plant and wonder how many you've killed before they even lived.
You stand and brush the dirt off your robes. "Well," You say, careful to keep your voice level. "I've got some things to do. I trust you'll be alright on your own." You can't bring yourself to look at Yoongi, can't bear to see the dirt that smudged along his cheek, can't stand to see the way the orange robes drape along him and remind you of the way the autumn leaves looked coating the grass in the meadows.
He doesn't even get a response out before you flee, but you feel his eyes on your back long after you've hidden in the shadows and sunk down onto your bed.
It's astounding, you think as you rinse the dirt off your hands later, how a single afternoon planting seeds with someone can be so detrimental to the walls you'd put around your heart. Tears blur your vision and your fingers are trembling, but you keep scrubbing until the phantom slide of his hands against yours is gone and there is no more evidence of the planting you'd done. When you finally stop, your skin is raw and throbbing, and there are tears running down your face.
You had long accepted that Hoseok could never be yours. You were in two different positions, and he was much too bright to want to be with someone like you. Your shadows would have suffocated him, so you resigned yourself to being his friend. Friend is safe. Friend is good.
You’d known the same when you met Yoongi. Bright and colorful amidst the darkness of the underworld, you wouldn’t dare to get any closer to him, too familiar with the fluttering of your chest and the jumping in your stomach every time you saw him. Just being friendly was enough, ensuring he is safe and happy is fine with you.
But this? Watching the two of them grow closer and closer, able to love each other so wholly while you stand alone in your darkness, watching their bright smiles and soft looks, all directed only at each other, for eternity? This was too much for you to bear. Being hopelessly in love with one man you can’t have is bad enough, but two of them…
You wish for the first time that you were not immortal, but a meager human upon the surface, unaware and blissful in your ignorance.
He never expected this. Not from the moment he woke up, not when he was sprinting through a forest to escape his mother, not for a single heartbeat could he ever imagined everything that has happened to him since he arrived in this cold land.
He’s been alone for so long, hidden away in his mother’s garden with only the rare visit from Artemis or Hestia as he learned how to do anything and everything his mother wished. He’s never had friends before, he’s never had the subtle inside jokes that he shares with Hoseok, familiar enough that even just a quick glance can have them both bursting with laughter. He’s never known a goddess like you, able to weave together the darkness into something tangible, something useful, something real. It’s like nothing he’s ever seen, and Hoseok’s uncanny ability to bend the environment around him and use his silvery aura to turn almost invisible to the naked eye never ceases to amaze him. The two of you are so powerful, so utterly awe-inspiring, and every single thing his mother had told him is so far from the truth that it almost hurts.
Neither you nor Hoseok is standoffish, really; he can see the hesitant friendship in every smile you send his way, and Hoseok’s primary concern at any moment is making sure he’s happy and safe. It warms Yoongi in a way he could never explain, not even in a million years, simply because he’s never felt this way. In all the books he’s read, the plays he’s seen, every mortal he’s watched, he’s seen this.
He’s seen how they turn red with just a look, how their hearts stutter when hands brush, how they smile, soft and private when they think no one is looking at them. He’s seen this feeling, the bubbling in his chest that he gets every time Hoseok laces their fingers together while walking and the moment you step into the courtyard and see the kaleidoscope of colors that you helped plant. He never would have guessed that he would feel it, though, too isolated from the rest of the world until he came here. Until you pulled apart the earth itself to help him escape, without even knowing why or who he was.
The feeling grows inside of him, thorns pricking into his every breath because he knows it can’t last. He’s seen how you and Hoseok look at each other when you think no one is watching, can feel the pull between you and the years upon years of familiarity that lie between you. The two of you are closer than he could ever get, two sides of the same coin, and more suited to each other than he would ever be.
And he can’t stay.
That’s the worst part. He knows it, knows that she will find him before long and wrap her claws around his throat and drag him back into that gilded cage she calls a greenhouse just to leave him. It’s for the best, my dear, she’ll say, it’s to keep you safe.
Yoongi doesn’t want to be safe, though. He wants to be happy and free, and he’s found that place here, surrounded by death even as he carves out his own little area of life. With Hoseok’s warm grin across from him and your own cool fondness beside him. With flower crowns atop his head and Hoseok’s, and the small buds are woven into your own crown of bones and grief as a small reminder that even in death, there is life.
But she will find him. She always does. And though he cannot bear the thought of leaving you, he will, if only to keep you safe.
Yoongi's been there almost a year when you summon Hoseok to dine with you. By the time he gets to your office - a very understated term for the sprawling library - you're already sitting at your usual desk, food pushed aside and forgotten in lieu of the papers stacked in front of you. Even with your head bent low and bags under your eyes, you're the most beautiful person Hoseok has ever seen.
He remembers the first time he met you when Zeus had assigned him to be the gatekeeper for the underworld. You were so young, so skittish and worried that you were going to be a terrible ruler as if the dead could be disappointed in you. You'd been beautiful then, too, but not in the same way. You've grown into yourself since then; you're no longer afraid of being a bad queen. You know that you're competent and capable, you know you can do this, and you frequently prove wrong any Olympian who says otherwise. You're mature now; strong and confident and brilliant, and even with the bags under your eyes and the shadows that lick lovingly against your skin, you are absolutely radiant.
Hoseok is so in love with you that it physically hurts him, and every time he looks at you, he is reminded of how you are just out of his reach.
He clears his throat and you look up. The tired smile that graces your face warms him, and he settles into a chair on your left with practiced ease. This isn't the first time you've asked him to dine with you, and it won't be the last.
"What's the occasion?" He teases, delighting in the way you roll your eyes and gesture to the food and nectar that sits in front of him.
"How is Yoongi?" You ask. It doesn't escape him that you don't answer, but you always have your reasons, so he doesn't call you on it.
"Well. He wanders around on his own and doesn't seem to jump at the slightest sound anymore. He came with me the other day when I judged and managed to pick fifteen people for Elysium in a row." An expression passes over your face that he can't decipher. He continues anyway. "He still won't talk much about what happened, but he also doesn't seem to be in much of a hurry to leave. I imagine he'll get bored eventually, and we'll need to give Cerb extra treats when he does, but I'm not concerned just yet."
You nod and Hoseok starts to eat as you rifle through a few more papers. "You know he's Persephone?" You ask, and Hoseok nods. He'd forgotten to share that knowledge with you, but clearly, you had your own way of finding things out. "So then you're aware that his mother is Demeter."
Hoseok pauses for a minute. He swallows the food in his mouth and really looks at you for the first time since he sat down. The bags under your eyes are more prominent, and you're wearing your Hades expression. The one that stays professional and controlled and tells people nothing of your true thoughts. Well, people that haven't known you for more than a thousand years.
"Hoseok, he can't stay here forever," You eventually say. "She's been looking for him everywhere. The humans' crops are ruined, ice and snow have covered the earth, more people are dying than we can hold right now. She won't stop."
"And that means we kick him out?" Hoseok hisses. You close your eyes and he can feel the sigh you're holding back. "You said yourself that he could stay as long as he wants. You can't just rescind that because some wheat goddess is going on a rampage. We still don't know what he was running from, or if it's still out there, and I won't watch him-" He stops, frozen by the way you're pressing your tongue into the side of your cheek. It's the only tell you have and he rarely sees it, because you rarely keep things from him. "What do you know?"
You don't answer, and he repeats the question, louder this time, as he surges out of his chair.
"I was running from her," Yoongi's voice echoes through the library. You and Hoseok both turn to see him standing in the door, and Hoseok's heart swells at the sight. He's in soft, muted pink robes that Hoseok knows he made himself. His cheeks are rounder, and he's no longer curled in on himself. He looks stronger. Confident. Unafraid. "I was running from my mother. That's what you found out, right?" Hoseok looks to you, and the regret in your eyes just confirms it.
"I'm sorry, Yoongi, I was only trying to make sure you were safe, I didn't mean-"
"It's alright," Yoongi says as he moves to run his hand along your cheek. "I know." He smiles at you. Hoseok looks between the two of you - Yoongi's hand resting lightly on your cheek and a soft smile on his lips while his eyes crinkle with rare happiness, your own eyes wide and full of what can only be described as pure, unadulterated love - and his stomach rolls violently. Even after all the time Hoseok has spent with you, and with Yoongi, and the times he's entered a room to find the two of you in comfortable silence, he never expected this. He should've, he realizes; the two of you are a perfect match, complementing each other to near perfection, each fault being smoothed over by the other's strengths.
How could he have thought you wouldn't fall in love with Yoongi? Soft, kind Yoongi, who had just enough snark inside of him to make every word out of his mouth an unexpected joy. Yoongi who braids flower crowns with the flowers he's started to grow in the courtyard, surrounding the pomegranate tree with the beautiful blooms. Yoongi, who encourages Hoseok to judge more and more souls, ones that don't request it, who can somehow pick the good people from the bad just by looking.
And how could he have ever expected Yoongi not to fall for you? Strong and intelligent, determined and kind. You who opened your home to him in his most vulnerable moment and never expected anything in return. You who did everything in your power to find what was chasing him, and find a way to stop it. You, with your lonely smile and your bare feet. You, who Hoseok himself has been in love with for tens of thousands of years.
How could he have expected either of you not to fall in love in the months that you have known each other when Hoseok couldn't even stop himself?
“I’ll go back to her,” Yoongi says softly, finally dropping his hand from your cheek and turning the radiant smile on Hoseok. “She’ll have no reason to continue this if I return.”
“I can’t ask you to do that, Yoongi,” You say immediately. ““You were desperate to get away from her, and...what she almost did to you, that’s unacceptable.”
“Let her rage,” Hoseok agrees. “You’re safe here, no one can get to you without getting through the two of us first, not to mention Cerberus and the Bones. No nature goddess will last in this place, not with our full force around you.”
“Thank you, Hobi, but no. I can’t ask you both to do that, not when it could end so badly for you. You don’t know what she can do, it’s not-”
“You aren’t asking us,” You say. Your voice is as quiet as always, but there’s a firmness there that Hoseok recognizes. It’s usually saved for the throne room when some mortal has been particularly annoying or stubborn, and it’s a shock to see it directed at Yoongi. “We are offering. Let us protect you, Yoongi. At least let me speak with Zeus about this. I may be able to convince him to intervene.”
Yoongi hesitates, the indecision is written all over his face, and Hoseok leans to lace their fingers together. It’s a familiar gesture, done so often to prevent Yoongi from getting lost that it’s second nature at this point.
“Please,” Hoseok pleads when Yoongi looks at him. “Please, Yoongi.”
The reluctant nod is all the confirmation needed. You’re already scribbling out a summons for Hermes to carry to the lord of the gods, and Hoseok is halfway through the halls to reinforce the gates and ensure Cerberus knows his task. He tries not to think about the way Yoongi lingered behind, one hand on your shoulder as he watched you write and the other caressing the flower-riddled braids he’d made earlier that day.
He doesn’t think about it, because in the end, it doesn’t matter. Hoseok is so deeply in love with the two of you, so grossly enamored, that he would go to the end of time itself if it meant keeping the two of you safe and happy. Even if that meant watching you love each other and not him.
“What do you mean, he won’t help?”
You massage your temples without looking up from the letter Zeus had sent back with Hermes. He was, unsurprisingly, not helpful. Hoseok had appeared not long after the messenger had left, and is, also unsurprisingly, irate.
“According to him, he has no dog in this fight, because Yoongi isn’t his son, he’s Demeter’s, and if he were to get involved, he’d side with her since the humans are dying so quickly, which isn’t exactly good for worship numbers.”
“Are you kidding me? He seriously said he’d take her side in this?”
“Not in so many words, but yes. And I get it, Hobi. His job is to keep the peace between everyone in Olympus, and without actually coming here to give me an audience, all he has is Demeter’s side of the story.”
“Which is?”
“That I kidnapped her son and am currently holding him captive in a dungeon down here.”
“That’s absurd. He’s not captive at all, he’s happier here than he ever was up there, and you didn’t kidnap him!” You give a slight nod to show that yes, Hoseok, you’re aware of the truth. “Does he know what she does to him? How she treats him?”
“Hoseok, please,” You mutter. The weight of Zeus’ words is like a blade against your throat and you want nothing more than to help Yoongi. Clearly, the Fates have decided against that. “You know how he is. Do you honestly think he’d care? She has a claim to him, despite what he wants, and unless we find a way to get Zeus down here or go there ourselves, our lord won’t be able to hear any other side of this story.”
“Then we’ll...we’ll go there! We’ll make them listen! You could talk sense into him, make him see that he needs to help.”
“You know I can’t do that, Hobi.” Hoseok flinches, as if just remembering that you are as captive here as the souls you keep. You’re glad, not for the first time, that Death Itself cannot be contained, so that Hoseok, at least, is free to come and go as he pleases. “And before you say it, no, we can’t ask him to go. It isn’t safe. The second he sets foot outside this realm, she’ll pull him back. We’re lucky that he hasn’t already told her where Yoongi is.”
Your statement is punctuated with a muffled thud, and the anxiety that runs through you is mirrored in the look Hoseok gives you. Another thud echoes through the palace, the ground rumbling under your feet, and you stand.
“Where is he?” You ask, already pulling the shadows around you.
“Just past the gate, walking through the Meadow. If we hurry-”
“Go.” You disappear into the blackness, never more glad that Hoseok can sense the living in your land. When you step away from the shadows, Yoongi is there, confusion written across his face and fear in his eyes. “You have to run.”
“No,” He says. “I’m not going to keep running from her. I’m staying here, she can’t take me back.”
“Yoongi, please,” You beg. He’s too vulnerable here, too open, too easily seen with his spring green robes billowing around his feet and flowers woven into a crown atop his head. He takes your hands in his and pulls you close, and you’ve never seen a fire like this in him. It burns hot and strong and it makes your chest ache for what could have been.
“I won’t let her hurt you while I hide away like a coward,” He whispers. His thumb wipes away tears you didn’t know were there, and determination floods through you.
"Please, Yoongi. Let us help you. Let me help you. I-" The words choke in your throat, but Yoongi nods as if they made it out.
"I love you, too." His voice is soft, barely audible over the shaking ground and the deafening sound of hooves slamming into your gates. You feel more than see Hoseok land beside you, and his hand rests on the small of your back without hesitation.
"Take him," You tell Hoseok. "Go to the palace. You'll be safe there. Don't let him leave."
Hoseok's eyes are fire-bright as he wraps an arm around Yoongi's waist. The god's protests fall on dead ears, even as you let your hands brush over the softness of Hoseok's ink black wings. Just one moment, that is all you want, just one single second to pretend.
"I'll see you after, my lady," Hoseok says firmly. You don't have the heart to correct him, nor the time, so you just nod. Yoongi's screams echo in your ears even as you turn, the blackness that lingers at every corner of your realm swirling around your feet and ready to be whatever you need. You let one last year fall from your eyes as the gates crumple, and the furious eyes of Demeter fixate on you and the black-winged figure carrying her son away.
Hoseok flies faster than he ever has, determined to get Yoongi into the palace and relative safety. The god sobs in his arms, still struggling to get back to where you stand in the Meadow, the massive form of Demeter towering above you, but Hoseok doesn't relax his grip. You gave him an order; he hadn't disappointed you yet, and he isn't about to start now. Not with Yoongi caught in the middle.
He doesn't hesitate when he touches down in the palace, wings retracted and brushing ever so slightly against the black marble floor. He turns to the nearby Bones and orders them to the doors, summoning as many others as he can spare from the gates and Fields to help barricade the palace from the goddess.
"Hobi, you have to go, you have to help her," Yoongi sobs. "She's gonna...I can't, Hobi, please, you have to keep her safe."
"I have to keep you safe," Hoseok replies. He's got a vice grip around Yoongi's arm as he pulls him deeper into the palace, doing his level best to avoid any window or door to the outside. "That was the order she gave and that's the order I shall obey."
"How can you say that?! Don't you care that she could-"
"Of course I care!" Hoseok spits, rounding on the shorter god the second the words leave his lips. "Do you think this is easy for me, Yoongi? Do you think I enjoy choosing between the two of you like this? Because I don't. I want nothing more than to be helping her right now, but I can't...I can't leave you alone here. It's too dangerous."
Hoseok isn't stupid; he knows exactly how he feels about you, and Yoongi, and he's not oblivious to the way the both of you look at him. Still, the two of you are powerful deities, worshipped and loved, feared and prayed to. He's just a guardian, content to sit in the background and watch for threats. Yes, he loves you, with every fiber of his immortal soul, but he also loves Yoongi, and he knows you love Yoongi, and you gave him an order.
"Hobi," Yoongi whispers, eyes wet and red and beautiful. "Hobi, please, you have to help her. She needs you. I can manage, I can hide, but she needs you. No one else can help her."
The fact that he's even considering this shows just how easy it is for Yoongi to manipulate him. Hoseok understands now, what you meant all that time ago. Yoongi's voice is rough and lingering and fearful but it carries so much hope that it digs into Hoseok's skin like a hook. He curses and bundles Yoongi into the corner.
"Stay hidden. Don't make a noise. You can't let her find you." Hoseok hesitates for a split second before pressing a quick kiss to Yoongi's forehead. "I will see you after this."
"I know."
It's never been harder for him to turn his back on someone, but Hoseok manages, with only one last look back before he takes to the air and surges forwards to where you stand, keeping Demeter back with every piece of your power.
Yoongi runs. He runs and runs and runs, the bare skin of his feet silent on the cool marble. The braziers have long since gone out, but he stopped needing them months ago. He knows where he is, even as he tucks himself into a small, nearly invisible niche in a corner. He hardly dares to breathe, too scared that the sound will alert his mother of his location. The palace is silent, not a single sound in the entire thing, and it's deafening in the aftermath of the rumbling screams that signaled your battle with her.
He isn't sure how he managed to convince Hoseok to leave him, whether it was the obvious love the god felt for you or the sheer desperation in his own eyes, but he could only pray the two of you made it out. As gods, you're all difficult to kill, but it's not impossible. Not for other deities.
Come out, little flower.
Yoongi stifles a whimper, panic coloring his vision white for a long while before he can breathe again. Memories flash behind his eyelids and he pried them open just to stare into the darkness.
You can't hide forever, little flower. You know that.
Her voice echoes against the marble. It makes her sound like she's everywhere and nowhere at once, able to find him even as he hides. He clenches his teeth and reminds himself that you and Hoseok are the only ones that know this palace better than him.
You're making me very angry, little flower. Why do you run? I only want the best for you, and you insist on causing such a fuss.
The sound of her sandals reaches him, reverberating off the walls and telling him that she's far too close. He slips silently out of the niche and pads across the floor on the balls of his feet. He doesn't make a sound, something he perfected in his time with her, and just as she slips around the corner, he's darting down another hallway.
Look at what you've done, little flower. All this mess, and for what? Do you like it when I'm angry? Do you enjoy this game of ours?
He slips into another hall just in time. Exhaustion has made him slow. The marble of the wall is cool against his heated skin, and he wonders where you are. Where Hoseok is. If you're alright or if you're laying in the Meadow, golden ocher pooling around you. The thought enrages him, and for the first time, he can feel power at his fingertips; real power, not the simple gardening magic she taught him as a child. He's ready to use it, he thinks. He's so tired of running, so tired of being afraid, and he's so fucking angry that the people he loves have had to fight his battles for him.
Found you, little flower.
Warmth circles his ankle and pulls before he can jerk away. Her nails are sharp than before, like sickles at the end of each long finger, and he scrabbles uselessly at the smooth stone floor. She's speaking but the sound of her voice - wind whispering through a field of wheat, a brook babbling in the summer - is drowned out by the blood pumping in his ears.
"No, I won't go back, you can't make me," He hisses, kicking at her hand with his free leg. He doesn't feel the cuts on his soles, doesn't register them at all until he sees the gold dropping onto the floor; the adrenaline masks the pain. She says something else and he stops kicking, though he doesn't know what she's said. He isn't listening, too busy thinking of a way out of this.
It comes to him, all at once, and he relaxes in her grip. His chest heaves in a sob, because he knows exactly what he has to do, and you will never forgive him for it.
"Alright," He says flatly. Demeter stops in her monologue. "I'll go with you. Just leave them alone." The smile that splits her face is more grotesque than any corpse he's seen in the Styx, but the way she releases his ankle is a blessing. He keeps himself hunched and downtrodden as he pushes himself up, into her waiting arms. The hug is bruising and brings vile to his throat, but it is necessary.
It's with a flash of green as he pulls away from her that he makes his move. The flower crown previously atop his head has morphed, grown into thick, thorny vines around her arms and keeping her in place.
Yoongi is gone before she can so much as screech, sprinting as fast he can through the halls to the one thing that can help him. He feels it when she rips through his flowers, his very soul shaking at the pain that rips through him, but he's determined. He's made good ground, he only had a little further to go.
The vibrant colors of the courtyard have never felt so welcome. He's halfway through, blossoms crushed under his feet as he tears through the carefully tended flowers, when she catches up. The blade of her scythe rips through his back, but the adrenaline masks the pain. He's bleeding, he knows, but he can't bring himself to focus on anything but the way the bark feels under his grip, branches reaching down to help him reach his goal.
She tears him out of the tree violently, no longer wearing the carefully sculpted mask of love. The scream that she unleashes when she sees him shakes the entire realm, soft pebbles falling from the ceiling of the cavern miles above his head, but he doesn't care.
The pomegranate is ripe against his tongue, juice tinting his lips pink, and the weight of it against his chest has never been more welcome. Demeter screams for what could be centuries, but Yoongi does not care, because he has won, and he has never tasted anything so sweet in his entire life.
"Come to bed," Hoseok pleads, not for the first time. You look at him with a sigh. His wings are gone, hidden away until he needs them again, and his arm is free of the bandages he's been wearing. It has taken so long for him to heal, and you still aren't sure he should be up and about. There's a small, barely perceptible scar along his forearm, the faintest reminder of what the two of you survived.
"I have to finish this before he returns, Hobi," You tell him, also not for the first time. Hoseok scoffs and comes around the desk to stand behind you, eyes roving over the documents in front of you.
"It's been over six months," He whispers in your ear. "Zeus has approved your expansion requests. I'm fine. You're fine. Yoongi will be back from Olympus soon."
"Hoseok," Your tone is warning despite the way he whispers your name. You deflate, falling back in your chair and letting him rub your shoulders. "I just miss him."
"I know. I do too." You're both quiet for a while. It has been six months since Demeter crashed into your world and rampaged through the Meadow to find Yoongi. You remember it so vividly, the way you struggled against the unbridled fury she had, the way Hoseok screamed as she broke his wing, the pain in your chest as you'd crawled to him and just held him in your arms until the Bones had made it to the two of you and carried him to the palace.
You had been, and still are, vastly proud of him and Yoongi for fighting back, but that didn't change the fact that they had both put themselves in immense danger by doing so. Even with the - admittedly brilliant, if stupid - plan that Yoongi had come up with, things never really worked out for you. Hoseok had been bedridden for weeks, unable to even more because of the pain in his wing. Hermes has helped with the healing process, which you were unendingly thankful for, but Yoongi had been carted off to Olympus almost immediately for negotiations.
Zeus, benevolent leader and incompetent moron that he is, had decided on a compromise: Yoongi would stay with you in the underworld after the harvest was finished, free to do whatever he liked, but until then he had to stay in Olympus. The letter had mentioned something about reparations to the mortals for the utterly obscene amount of crops they had lost - which was ridiculous really, they were doing their level best to kill the planet and you are gods, since when do gods pay reparations to mortals? - that Yoongi was required to use his abilities to help with.
You'd sent Hermes back with several colorful threats of what exactly would happen to the billions of dead you kept here should Yoongi return in any way other than utter perfection, and you've been anxious for days to find out whether you get to follow through on them. It only worsens when you remember that you have a decision to make when Yoongi returns. You remember the way he looked when he said he loved you, returning words you couldn't bring yourself to say, and you remember the elation and subsequent depression that came after the battle at the realization that you could have had him, were he not gone for half the year.
And yet you also distinctly remember the way Hoseok looked, wings splayed over several tables to hold them in place as they healed, vulnerable and shy as he told you that he was sorry for disobeying you. You won't ever forget his face as he explained, the way his lips formed around your name when he told you he couldn't beat to see you hurt, not after so many years spent loving you. The feel of his lips against your skin is like a phantom even now; Hoseok had waited until he was healed to do anything more than press chaste kisses against your knuckles, and even still you've not felt him the way you want, but it hasn't stopped him from trying.
"Come on, my lady," Hoseok says, pressing a kiss to your knuckles. "Just for a while." You grumble under your breath - you really do have work to finish before Yoongi arrives - but you allow Hoseok to pull you from your chair and lead you down the hall to your bedroom.
So lost in your own musings, you don't notice the figure lounging on your bed until he speaks.
"Six months and I don't get even so much as a hello?"
Your eyes shoot up and your breath hitches in your throat. Pale green robes lined in the most beautiful black and silver embroidery pool around him, matching the braided crown that rests atop his head. You didn't know flowers like that existed, let alone that they could look so wonderful on someone.
"I didn't know you were back," You breathe.
"That's the point of a surprise, my love," Hoseok says from behind you, hand tightening around yours. Guilt begins to grow in your chest and Yoongi tsks at you. He rises and comes to stand in front of you, brow furrowed.
"That's no way for a queen to look, is it? What has you thinking so hard?" His thumb smooths the space between your brows and you can't help the glance to Hoseok.
"I can't...I don't want to hurt you." Your voice is barely a whisper, and the familiar sting encircles your heart once more. You couldn't choose between the two of them, not if you tried, not even if it meant getting out of this place.
"You won't," Hoseok tells you with a familiar grin. "Yoongi and I have already talked about what we feel for each other, and for you. The only question now is if you'll have us. Both of us."
Months ago, you would have called them crazy and had them exiled for fear they'd gone mad. You never imagined you could have one of them, let alone both; you had been ready to tell them both that you had been mistaken because having one by your side while your heart still yearned for the other was far more cruel than anything you could put in the Fields of Punishment.
Now? Now you know what the Isles must feel like. It is Yoongi in front of you, thumb brushing lightly against your cheek while Hoseok's warmth is steady behind you, one arm encircling your waist and keeping you steady.
"Both of you?" You echo. Yoongi nods.
"You don't have to," Hoseok says from behind you. "But we know how you feel about us, and we're sure in how we feel for each other. There are stranger pairings in the world, aren't there?"
"Only one of you could be king." You aren't sure why you say that, can't remember why it even matters when Hoseok trails his lips over the shell of your ear.
"I never have looked good on a throne," He says. Yoongi's chest rumbles in a laugh, and you could cry at the sight of that familiar gummy smile.
"Please," Yoongi eventually says. "Please say yes." You search his eyes for any hint of indecision or regret, and when you find none, you turn to Hoseok. He has a soft, encouraging smile on his face, and he holds your crown in his free hand. The cool black metal is harsh against his tanned skin, but what draws your eye isn't the way the bones are fused together or the etchings of historical scenes across each. No, it's the soft pale green blossoms woven in among the metal, a stark contrast to the harshness of the bones, and the silver thread twined around all of it, dipping in and out in various places but clearly noticeable in the light. It's a perfect representation of the three of you and it makes your chest swell.
"Yes," You breathe. They don't move, and your eyes dart between them. "Yes, absolutely. I can think of nothing I have ever wanted more."
Yoongi surges forward, capturing you in a long-awaited kiss. His lips are soft as blossoms against yours, warm and gentle as the hands that cup your jaw and draw you closer. You're aware, distantly, of the soft clink of metal on stone as Hoseok sets your crown to the side, though his arm never leaves your waist.
Hours could have passed with Yoongi kissing you. You aren't sure. Time runs together and blends, a dizzying whirlwind of slow drags of his lips across yours followed by quick, messy bursts of his tongue. You can barely focus on what is happening, mind split between the absolute euphoria of kissing him and the heat that comes from Hoseok's fingers dancing along your waist and shoulders, his breath ghosting over your neck as he watches. When Yoongi finally detaches from your lips, he ducks down to suck at the exposed skin of your collarbone, and Hoseok turns your chin so you face him.
"May I, my lady?" He asks. His voice is rough and deeper than you're used to, affected by the sight of you and Yoongi. His fingers twine with the strings holding your robes together and you give him a nod. It doesn't even take a full breath before the black material is pooling at your feet. Hoseok stifles something that sounds suspiciously like a moan behind you, and you think Yoongi actually purrs. They both run their hands along your skin, basking in the goosebumps that they raise and the shivers that crawl up your spine.
"Absolutely ethereal," Yoongi mutters. You pull him into another kiss, one hand coming up to rest against his shoulder while your other tangles in Hoseok's hair where he's doing his level-best to leave his mark on your neck.
"Please," You murmur. "I want to make you happy."
"You've already done that, my queen," He says. His smile is soft and the glint in his eye is sharp. You huff a little and tap twice at Hoseok's neck; when he pulls away, pouting but compliant, you push Yoongi until he's falling back onto your bed. He goes with no objections, one hand twining his fingers with yours and you crawl up to straddle his hips. "Let me please you, my queen. I've been waiting six months to taste you, and I don't want to waste another moment if I don't have to."
Your breath hitches as Hoseok steps up behind you. The bare skin of his chest is a shock as it presses against your back, and he slides his hands along your sides before beginning to tease your nipples. You stifle the moan, emitting more of a whine than anything, and you think you nod. All you know is the heat between your legs and the knee-deep ache to make them happy.
Yoongi's between your legs in a flash. You can't be sure how exactly he moved so quickly without jostling you, but the thought is all but shoved out of your mind as he swipes his tongue against you for the first time. You're glad Hoseok is behind you because your legs are already trembling where they're curled under you and your head drops back to rest against his shoulder. As merciless as Hoseok is in his torment of your chest, Yoongi is doubly so.
You imagine a man starving and dehydrated in a desert wouldn't be this invested in a sudden banquet laid in front of him; Yoongi worships you, circling your clit several times before dipping down to dart teasingly in and out of your hole. He laps up every single drop of your arousal, dutiful in his mission even as Hoseok begins to whisper sweet nothings into your ear. The heat of his breath has you closer to the edge than you want to admit, but the sheer love that radiates from his words at the same time Yoongi rumbles out a heavenly moan straight into your folds, tongue buried inside of you, is what drives you over the edge.
You aren't surprised when neither of them stop; you get the sense Yoongi is thoroughly enjoying himself between your thighs, based on the growing tent in his robes. Hoseok grinds against your ass, and his own hardness presses against you with every painless thrust of his hips. A pang of guilt shoots through you and your hands drop. It's a bit of an awkward angle, but you make it work as you glide your hands over him. He's thick, that's for sure, and nearly as long as your forearm. How you're supposed to take that inside of you is anyone's guess, but as Yoongi brings you to yet another orgasm with his mouth, you realize that's exactly what they're preparing you for.
The whimper comes unbidden, walls clenching around nothing at the thought of them filling you, and they both shudder. "Please," You gasp, "Please, I need you. Both of you."
Yoongi graciously lets you rise off of him, and when you settle on your back, he sits up to smile at you. His lips and chin are absolutely coating in your slick, the sight erotic and exciting. The feeling is doubled as Hoseok grips Yoongi's chin, turning the mint-haired god to face him.
"How does she taste, my flower?" He purrs. You don't hear Yoongi's response, just the deep thrum of his voice, but you see the way Hoseok runs his thumb across Yoongi's lips, collecting your juices, before sliding it into his own mouth. You moan at the sight, Hoseok's eyes falling closed as he relishes in the taste of you. Yoongi strips out of his robes while he can, and he doesn't seem to miss the way your and Hoseok's eyes watch hungrily.
"Tell me what you want," Hoseok says, pulling you closer as Yoongi settles behind you. "We're here for you, my queen."
"I…" You falter. You aren't even sure what you want now; you've spent six months trying to figure out how to tell both of the men you love that you can't be with either of them and now you have both of them naked in your bed, waiting to please you. You can hardly think, can't focus beyond the feel of their skin against yours and the heat of their gaze, but you know one thing.
You need them to know how desperately you love them, and with the fire burning between your thighs, there is exactly one way you can do that.
"I need you inside me, Hobi," You tell him. "I need to feel you inside of me. Yoongi, too. Both of you." Hoseok's cock twitches and something in his jaw clicks. You don't wait for more of a response, choosing instead to slide across the sheets to straddle Hoseok's hips. His hands rest lightly on your hips, tentative now, and you smile at him. His hands are gentle now, soft as the smile he gives you in return. His cock is dripping and red, a warm heat in your palm as you guide him to your entrance.
The look in his eyes, the small moan he releases, the hitch in Yoongi's breath behind you as you slowly sink down onto Hoseok will forever be etched into your memory. You're so full that you could cry; he feels absolutely perfect inside of you, and it only gets better as he guides you carefully up and then back down onto him. Your moan is felt more than heard and it only gets louder as he speeds up. His fingers are marble against your his, unmoving and firm as he slides in and out. He doesn't look away for a second and neither do you; all the years you've spent thinking about him, the millennia you've ached to love and be loved by him, it has all led to this. Your hips moving against his, connected in a way you've never been before; if it were possible to read his thoughts, you think you could at this moment, because they must be a mirror of your own.
"I love you," You whisper. Yoongi's warmth presses against your spine as he slides a finger between the two of you to rub slow circles into your clit, and you gasp. "I love you, Hobi, so much." The words are a mantra on your lips, and you think there may be tears in his eyes but you can't be sure because you're coming again, shuddering on top of him, and Yoongi is gently pulling you off.
Hands turn you, and now it's Yoongi between your legs, cock red and throbbing where it sits against his stomach. He isn't as long as Hoseok, but he's wider, and you clench again at the sight.
Yoongi opens his mouth to say something, but you stop him with a soft kiss pressed against the corner of his mouth. You slide down onto him, welcoming the slight burn that comes with the stretch. It takes two breaths for you to become impatient and begin to move, grinding your hips down against his. Yoongi isn't as loud as Hoseok, soft pants and whines where Hobi is echoing moans and groans, but it's just as attractive. He moves his hips in tandem with yours, and the muses themselves couldn't have created a better rhythm. The words fall from your lips again; it's easier, now that you've said them to someone, to let them go. They don't ball in your throat, aren't a lump to swallow down anymore, and you revel in the feeling.
"I love you," Yoongi returns, thumbs ghosting over the skin of your thighs. "So much, both of you. Saved me, can't fucking...fuck, can't tell you enough." You nod and loose another moan when Hoseok slides a finger in alongside Yoongi's cock.
"Do you think she can take us both, my flower?" Hoseok asks. His voice is raspy in your ear and you shudder as you orgasm again. There's a moment when you wonder just how many times you can come from the two of them, but it's gone the second Yoongi speaks.
"I think she could," Yoongi responds. "She's certainly wet enough. Absolutely soaked, aren't you, my queen? Do you want that? Both of us in here, filling you up?" He punctuates every word with another thrust of his hips and you nod. You don't think you've ever wanted anything more.
Hoseok is careful as he fingers you, working you open with one, then two, then three fingers as Yoongi slides in and out. You'd commend them both on their stamina if you could spare a single thought to anything but the feeling of them. Yoongi looks wrecked, covered in sweat with swollen lips, panting and desperate as he writhes beneath you.
When Hoseok finally decides you're ready, he slides his fingers out and asks you again if you're sure. You barely have the presence of mind to nod, too close to coming again, but it's enough for him. He slides in, and all three of you are moaning. You can't be sure what it feels like for them, but you're in absolute bliss. Hoseok peppers your shoulder with chaste kisses, murmuring encouragement as he sinks deeper inside. His cock drags against your walls and Yoongi's dick, and the thought makes you clench around them both. You're so full, you may explode, but it's perfection. When Hoseok bottoms out inside of you, you're all still for a while, just getting used to it.
"You're perfect," Hoseok whispers into your skin. "Both of you, you're both fucking perfect. Fuck, can I-?"
"Yes," You interrupt. You're already grinding down onto them, desperate for any kind of friction. "Please, Hobi." He grunts as he starts to move, and Yoongi does the same. They get a steady rhythm after a while, one sinking in as deep as he could get as the other drags outward, only to slam back in at the last second.
A sob builds in your throat, the sheer pleasure rolling through your body too much to handle as orgasm after orgasm slammed into you. There are hands everywhere, two on your hips keeping you steady, two roaming your body and teasing your nipples, on one Hoseok's neck to keep him close as another rests lightly against Yoongi's throat. You aren't sure which are yours, can't tell where you end and they begin, too fucked out to be able to think beyond the drag of their cocks against your walls and the growing ache inside you.
"Please," You gasp. "Please, need it. Fill me, please, need you both to fill me, make me yours, forever. Mark me. I'm yours, always, please, fill me with you." They both groan at that, and their pace speeds up. They're hitting harder and deeper and brushing against the spot inside of you that makes your vision turn white. Something gushes down your thighs as you spasm around them wildly, hips jerking of their own accord, and you feel it as they come together, hot seed spilling inside of you as you ride out your highs together.
You're panting and sweaty and hot and still, you don't think you'd trade this for even a moment of sunlight. They slide out of you and their cum seeps down your legs before you can stop it. You fall to the bed beside Yoongi, chest heaving even as he wraps you in his arms. A wave of your hand creates a small fan near the bed, shadows churning out cool air that feels like ambrosia on your skin.
Hoseok reappears with water for you both, and you thank him. Your voice is nearly gone, but it's worth it, you think. You pat the space beside you and Hoseok climbs in. His skin is hot against yours; the three of you are essentially a furnace at the moment, but you can't bring yourself to care. You can't count how many orgasms you had or how long you spent with them; it could have been minutes or hours or even days. It doesn't matter to you, really. Sprawled between an already-sleeping Yoongi and a Hoseok that's tracing invisible designs onto your skin, you have everything you could ever want.
Later you sit atop the shadows near your bed, chin in your hand as you admire the card between your fingers. Yoongi and Hoseok are wrapped around each other in your bed, lightly snoring as the sheets rise and fall against their naked chests. As you watch them, Hoseok’s brow furrows and he lazily stretches his arm to pat against the bed in search of you. He snuffles a little, and Yoongi nuzzles deeper into the crook of his neck until they’re both quiet again.
Silver foil glints in the light and you look back at the card in your hand. There’s a stack a hundred high beside you, all of them identical to the next save for the curling letters that make up the recipients, but this one is special. This one is your favorite. If you didn’t absolutely have to send it off, you would frame it and hang it above your throne; ultimately, though, you’d rather bask in the aftermath that’s sure to come.
With a small smile, you set it atop the others and wrap the bit of twine around them all. It’s gone with a wave of your hand, no doubt appearing wherever Hermes is. You wish you could see the look on his face when he realizes what they are, but he’s not the one that you really wish you could watch.
The raspy call of your name brings you back to the present, and you look up to find Yoongi watching you, lids heavy with sleep and eyes dark. “What are you doing?” He asks.
“Nothing.” You grin and stand, letting the shadows underneath you fall away. “Just sending out a quick notice.” You slide in beside him and Hobi, the latter still asleep but turning to wrap his arms around you nonetheless. Yoongi presses kisses to your knuckles and you pull a stray flower petal from his hair.
“You’re gloating, aren’t you?” He mutters. There’s a smile behind his eyes, and it warms you.
“Maybe a bit.” You lean over and kiss him, gentle and tender and you hope that it conveys everything you can’t put into words. “Would you rather I didn’t?”
“No,” Yoongi answers after a long pause in which he moves to straddle Hoseok’s hips in order to get close enough to suck marks into your neck. His lips are slow against your skin, tired and lazy from sleep. “I think I enjoy this side of you, actually.” “I, for one, am very much enjoying this side of you.” You grin at Hoseok’s words, smiling down at him. He’s half-hard again, hands resting lightly on Yoongi’s hips and eyes fixed on the bruises that bloom on your neck. “I thought we were sleeping.”
“We were,” You tell him. “You can always go back to sleep if you want.”
“You wish,” He mutters. Yoongi groans against your neck and you look down to see Hoseok palming him, working him up to fullness as Yoongi fucks into his hand. You wrap one of your own around Hoseok and return the favor; the way his moan echoes through the room is better than anything the nine muses could have created.
It’s slow and tired, each of you already spent from your earlier activities, but when you eventually drop between them, chests heaving from your orgasms and already half-asleep again, you think it’s worth it.
When you wake later and find a card sitting on the flower-woven throne - a new addition to the hall, one most welcome - crumpled and half-torn with a thorn sticking out of it, you know it’s worth it.
#bts fanfic#yoongi fanfic#hoseok fanfic#jhope fanfic#suga fanfic#bts smut#yoongi smut#hoseok smut#bts fluff#bts angst#yoongi fluff#yoongi angst#hoseok fluff#hoseok angst#fic: from eden#ddaenggtan#jhope x reader#suga x reader#yoongi x reader#hoseok x reader#reader insert#kpop fanfiction#bts fanfiction#greek god bts#persephone yoongi#thanatos hoseok#hades reader#greek god reader#olympian bts#series: monsters and gods
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A dinner date with Queen h/c:
John Deacon
Okay, so to start with a cliche, he’s finally back from tour
Though you called every day and into the night, nothing beat actually having your Deaky home.
However, instead of going out, you decided to stay in
“I’ve eaten at restaurants every night. Having a home-cooked meal alone with my dearest would be Heaven on Earth.”
Always the charmer...
You both cook together in the kitchen. He let you choose, knowing fully how excited you’d be to cook your favorite meal.
He turns on the radio and, wouldn’t you know it, Queen is on. “You’re my best friend” plays, almost a movie moment.
As you stand over the stove, John comes up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and humming to the song- the one he wrote for you.
You crane your hear to kiss him on the cheek, smiling into him.
“What’s it like being a rockstar, whose songs play on the radio?”
“Well, it’s an interesting lifestyle, yknow? But it could never beat being with you”
You wouldnt ever say it but that statement totally kills you.
As you finish up the cooking, he goes to set the table, pulling out the fancy plates because, yknow what? This is a special occasion. Good time to use the special plates.
He also lights a candle and pours water. As you come out with the food to serve you both, you give a happy sigh as he finishes up.
“Oh John... this is beautiful.”
“Not as beautiful as you.”
He plants a chaste kiss on your lips before you set down the food in the center. You eat in comfortable silence, holding hands and just taking in the company of your husband
“I missed this.”
“I did too, my love.”
Roger Taylor
He picked you out of the audience at a concert one night.
You were lucky to have gotten front-row tickets and it only costed an arm and a leg
Worth it to see your favorite band on stage
During the concert you noticed a certain drummer making eye contact with you at several points
You even earned a wink and a smile from him to which you returned with an even bigger smile
One that almost made Roger lose focus
When you were invited backstage you were in SHOCK
You opened the door to see Roger standing while the rest of the band sat
He turns around and his eyes brighten.
You almost forget your own name from his expression.
“Ah, there you are. I’m glad we caught you.” He smiles.
“The pleasure’s all mine.” You stammer out, smiling like an idiot.
He introduces you to the rest of the band and you eccstatically shake all their hands.
“So is there a name to that pretty face I saw in the crowd?”
“(Y/n)”
“(Y/n)... Would you want to have a drink with me?” He asks you cocking a brow.
You nod and he whisks you away to a bar nearby.
He tells you to order whatever you want, on him of course. You fight him to handle the tip, but still order something relatively inexpensive.
He makes a face, reminding you you can have whatever you want. Still you go for your first option
“So... tell me about yourself.” He leans back in his chair and flashes that heart melting smile.
As you speak he seems fully attentive, wanting to remember every detail.
You both have so much to talk about and honestly you don’t think you’ve laughed like this in a LOOONG time.
Suddenly he goes a little quiet. You look at him, coming down from a giggle.
“What’s up?” You ask him
“I know I’m known to be a bit of a.... heartbreaker, but... I don’t want that reputation to make you feel less important.”
You give him a sympathetic smile. Of course the thought had crossed your mind, but just enjoying the night was enough, even if it could’ve been a dream.
“Thanks, Roger.” Is all you can think to say. Though, you make a bold move and put your hand over his. He sets his free hand on top of yours and leans in a bit.
“I think I’d like this to be a little more than just an evening drink and a friendly conversation.” he tells you.
“Me too.”
Brian May
When Brian was back in town, all he wanted was to have an evening with you.
It would be fun to go out, so long as it was more lowkey he figured.
You both dressed pretty casually. Though it was special, he didn’t want to make a huge fuss over things.
Still, you gussied up just a little bit.
When you came downstairs, Brian was gaping
He must’ve forgotten just how perfect you were while he was away because he swore he fell in love all over again
“Careful Bri, you keep gaping like that, you may get a fly in the mouth” you snicker. He snaps out of his trance and chuckles sheepishly
“You just look... incredible, love.”
“You do too.”
You share a kiss and head out together.
You decided to pack a picnic and go to the beach in the evening
It was a rare night in England that it was clear at the beach.
You walk for a little while before picking a spot on the shore and spread the blanket, unpack the food and sit down.
As you both eat you talk about his touring stories, life back here, and just any idle subject that comes to mind as the sun sets
After finishing food Brian finds this the best time to pull out a guitar and serenade you as the stars begin to appear in the sky.
You lean against him and close your eyes, taking in the sound of the waves and the presence of your beloved.
He begins to pluck out the beginnings of a song he was writing. One he said only you would be able to hear because he did not plan on recording it for an album
Everything is just incredibly serene.
Brian eventually puts down the guitar and holds you as you look at the sky
He chatters about the constelations, telling you the stories of them.
“I feel like I should be taking notes” you giggle. He hums and holds you closer
“There will be a quiz at the end of the date.” he says, sending you into a fit of laughter. He chuckles and buries his face in your shoulder
“I love you.”
“I love you too, Bri.”
Eventually it gets cold so you pack up and head back to your home. You never realized how tired you were. You nearly crashed the second your face hit the pillow.
Still you get up and get ready for bed with Brian and then get in bed again.
“I missed you.”
“I missed you too, love”
Freddie Mercury (platonic)
Sometimes Freddie would do such extravagant dinner dates with you, but he knows that it sometimes makes you umcomfortable- especially with papparazzi
He once took you to the Ritz and honestly you felt underdressed even in your best clothing.
So having a night at his home catching up with Freddie, Jim, and all the kitties was better than you hoped.
It was a few days after he was back from a vacation with Jim that Freddie decided to call you up
“Darling, are you busy tonight? You should come over and have dinner with us!” Be begged on the phone.
It was after a loooong day and honestly you were thinking of just having a good ol’ fashion me-date that night.
“I don’t know Fred... it’s really late... can’t we do it tomorrow?”
Freddie huffs through the phone. You can practically feel his puppy eyes through the phone.
“We miss you over here! Especially Delilah. Please, (y/n) I’ll be your best friend.” He begs.
You chortle and roll your eyes.
“You already are my best friend, Fred.” You chuckle.
“So then you’ll come?” He presses.
“Alright, I’ll be over soon- for Delilah.” He feins insult and chuckles.
“We’ll see you soon, lovey!”
When you get to the mansion, Jim greets you with a hug.
“Wonderful to see you again, (y/n).” He grins you return the regard and do some small talk as he leads you to the dining room.
“Freddie, (y/n)’s here.” Jim announces. Immediately, Freddie jumps up and wraps you in a bear hug, nearly knocking you over.
“Oh, I MISSED you! How are you darling? Are you well? Oh, please sit down we’ll get you food.” he rambles.
“I missed you too, Freddie. Thank you for having me over.”
Opera was playing in the background as you sat at the dining table. Freddie made sure to sit across from you next to Jim so he could A- hold hands with Jim but B- be able to be completey attentive when listening to his best friend speak
You were served your favorite, figuring Freddie had a preconcieved plan to invite you already. You all dug in immediately
Honestly you were unaware of how hungry you were.
“So... tell me about your vacation together” you say between bites.
Freddie and Jim banter as they tell you about their vacation to the Carribean together. Freddie is so animated and honestly your heart melte seeing your best friend so happy and in love.
The evening ended with drinks on the couch playing scrabble just like old times
Honestly, it was nice to have friends like them.
A/n: Man I have not written anything in a hot minute. I hope you enjoy!
Taglist:
@jiswoogannon @littlemisscaptainfandom @brianharoldmaysguitar @deakysgirl
#queen x reader#queen#borhap#bohemian rhapsody#john deacon#john deacon x reader#brian may x reader#brian may#roger taylor#roger taylor x reader#freddie mercury#freddie mercury x reader#queen imagine#queen headcanons#john deacon x you#john deacon imagine#freddie mercury x you#brian may x you#roger taylor x you#freddie mercury imagine#brian may imagine#roger taylor imagine#john deacon headcanons#brian may headcanon#roger taylor headcanon#ziggy writes#queen band headcannon#queen band#queen imagines#queen x you
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First Appearances Part 2!
Read Part 1
Masterlist
Description: A reconnection at the Met Gala last week now results in you meeting up with Shawn in the Studio! How will things go?
Word Count 2.6k woohoo!!!
DISCLAIMER: I’m aware that the song between Shawn and Julia Michaels ( Like to be you) already should’ve taken place on Shawn’s last album but for this series please act like it was written now:)
It had been a week since the Met Gala, you were lucky that for the next few weeks your schedule was completely clear. You could spend it going to visit your family and friends you had missed so much while on tour and could finally get back in the studio. During tour after the breakup you had written a lot of songs, some of them were songs you knew you’d never release but possibly sell for someone else to sing, but you had a few you wanted to show Shawn when you went and visited him in the studio.
You and Shawn had been texting quit a bit the past week more than you ever had mostly talking about the ideas that you both had for you song. Did you want to put it on his new album, or yours? Did you want to make an upbeat song or one for a more acoustic setting? All of these questions you had been going back and forth about but finally you both decided to meet up and just see how things went. Shawn was already at the studio recording this week since he had a break before heading on his American leg of the tour so he wanted to get in the studio and record what he had written during the European tour, just to put a little less pressure when he came back.
You were excited to say the least, Shawn was one of the sweetest most genuine people in the industry. He had never had any drama surrounding him nor did he really associate with people that had it. You knew Alessia was on tour with him which you had met her a few times at award shows and she was nothing but sweet to you. Shawn seemed to have such a talent at writing so you knew when you both got together you could create something great, something meaningful and thoughtful that fans would love.
You quickly change out of what you slept in throwing on something comfortable for the studio. You hair was still the pale blue color that you had dyed for the Met, you had done your hair different colors for a while mostly purple but you were really enjoying the blue so you decided to keep it for the time being. You text Shawn quickly making sure it was still okay you were coming today,
Hey! I’m still coming today right?
He text back immediately,
Yes! Mind picking up Starbucks on the way over? I’ll give you some money!
You text him back telling him not to worry about it and ask him his order, you quickly make your way to the nearest Starbucks driving yourself. You hated driving in New York it was so busy and when the Paparazzi were around you always felt terrified you would hit one of them, they’d get in the way of a moving car just to get the best picture. When you got to Starbucks you saw some paparazzi not too many but just a few and you were always polite with them when they gave you the same curtesy.
‘‘Y/N! You’re looking beautiful today!’‘ One of them greets you.
‘‘Y/N, Where are you headed?’‘ Another asks, and you can hear a few more comments but you just smile at them lightly waving at them.
You walked in and got your normal drink as well as what Shawn wanted and you got a few extra drinks just in case he had some of his team there as well as a drink for the person working the booth for the day. You were balancing the drinks trying to get back in your car when the Paparazzi kept bombarding you with more questions.
‘’Y/N That’s a lot of drinks who are they for?’’ You hear them all asking.
You smile at them finally getting your car door open and placing the drinks inside, you hear a mutter of thank you’s from the paparazzi as you leave. For the most part they were all very nice and didn’t bother you so you didn’t mind giving them a few pictures it was when they were in huge groups when it felt most overwhelming and most dangerous. You shut the door and begin to make your way to the studio.
You take your foot hitting the door of room three the one Shawn told you he would be in, you were still balancing the drinks in your hands so when the door swung open there stood Shawn. He was wearing a grey hoodie, and some black jeans his hair falling perfectly on his face. He smiles widely at you quickly seeing that your hands were full taking reaching out for one of the trays you were holding.
‘‘Hey!’‘ He says putting the drink down on the table in front of the couch, you put the other tray down next to him as well and then turn to him and he embraces you in a hug, ‘‘I’m so excited!’‘ He says when he pulls away from your hug squeezing both your arms slightly.
‘‘Me too! I’ve been looking forward to this all week!’‘ You say eagerly.
You greet the rest of his team and they all thank you for the drinks, ‘’Are you sure I can’t give you money?’’ He says walking over to a bag on the couch like he was going to get his wallet.
‘‘It’s fine really! You’re letting me in on your studio time it’s the least I can do!’‘ I say waving my hand. ‘‘It’s fine really!’‘ I say smiling at him as he hold his wallet in his hands still.
‘‘Alrighty,’‘ He says sitting down in the chair next to the recording booth. ‘‘Well they’re about to go to lunch so we can start writing something and mess around and see where that get us?’‘ He says gesturing to his team who were all getting up anyway heading out the door saying they’ll be back later.
You smile at him reaching in your own bag grabbing your leather bound journal, you smile handing it over to him, ‘’I have a few lyrics written down all over the journal if you wanna look through and see if you like anything,’’ you say and he takes it from your hand flipping to the first page.
You watch him intensely, usually you never just gave your journal to people, it was filled with lyrics that were so personal and close to you it was like seeing into your soul. You felt as if you could trust him though, all of his songs seemed so personal to him so you felt as if you could share with him and he wouldn’t judge you. You study his face which had a unreadable expression upon it, ‘’These are amazing Y/N, I mean wow,’’ He says looking up at you, and you smile feeling a blush rise up to your cheeks. You glance at each other for a little too long it seemed like, he coughed obviously trying to break the silence, ‘’This one,’’ he points to the scribbled down lyrics on the page.
You lean in closer looking at what he was talking about and you see what he was talking about,
Tell me what’s inside of your head
No matter what you say I won’t love you less
And I’d be lying if I said that I do
You smile to yourself remembering the exact moment you wrote those lyrics, ‘’Yeah, I wrote that down really quickly so I didn’t forget but I honestly completely forgot about those lyrics,’’ you say laughing.
‘‘I think we could really do something cool with it, those lyrics alone are amazing, i feel like it should be more of a acoustic song the lyrics seem so personal to put them in a upbeat song,’‘ He says looking at you and you nod encouragingly at him. He gets up walking over to his guitar picking it up and sitting down on the couch adjusting the capo on the guitar and begins strumming a tune.
‘’When I wrote those lyrics I was wanting to understand something that I couldn’t because it wasn’t me,’’ You say and then you scrunch your face thinking you could’ve worded it better, ‘’I mean like, I wanted to understand what was going on in his-’’ I pause realizing what I just said, I clear my throat hoping he wouldn’t push on which I was thankful for. ‘’I wanted to understand someone else, if that makes sense,’’ I say scratching my head and looking at him expecting him to look at me like I was crazy.
‘’No, no that’s good!’’ He says. ‘’I love the idea of that,’’ He says looking at me. He quickly gets up walking over taking a pencil out of the pocket of his hoodie and quickly grabbing my journal, ‘’May I?’’ He asks gesturing to the journal.
‘‘Of course,’‘ you say nodding your head giving him an encouraging smile. He smiles back at you quickly scribbling lyrics down. You watch him write his entire body just seemed so immersed in what he was writing. You had seen Shawn’s career rise when he was on Vine and YouTube as you were just starting in your career around the same time. He was so much more humble and down to earth compared to others in the industry, he worked hard on his music and he put his all into everything he did and you could tell he was appreciative of his career as you were as well.
He picks up his guitar putting it in his lap,’’Okay, here’s what I’ve come up with for the chorus,’’ he says and begins strumming a simple melody on the guitar.
I don’t know what it’s like to be you
I don’t know what it’s like but I’m dying to
If I could put myself in your shoes
Then I’d know what it’s like to be you
The lyrics fell from his lips so beautifully, you had heard his voice before at award shows when you both attended and seen some of his live performance, but nothing beat hearing it in person like this and such a more personal setting. ‘’That’s for the chorus at least, if you don’t like it we can try something else-’’ He says but you interrupt him.
‘‘That was beautiful, I loved it,’‘ You say happily. Not only did he sound amazing he put exactly what you thought into words and that made you almost speechless.
It had been almost an hour since Shawn came up with the chorus, you both had been on fire since then completely finishing the song and now all you had to do was record it. You both decided to get together again and record it again at a later date since it was getting pretty late in the day.
Shawn was laid out on the couch his legs laid across and his guitar on his stomach strumming the melody to the song you just wrote. You were sitting in a chair your feet up on the coffee table, ‘’This song is perfect, it puts all my thoughts into words, thank you for helping me do that,’’ you say to him feeling very appreciative.
‘’You had the idea,’’ He says looking at you giving you a smile, ‘’I’m glad I could help put it into words.’’
You look back down at your lap feeling slightly uncomfortable, ‘’I wrote those lyrics about someone,’’ you pause looking up at him his focus completely on what you were saying. ‘’I wanted to understand why he did what he did,’’ you explain.
‘’Your ex?’’ He asks almost like he was nervous to bring it up.
‘’Yeah,’’ you say crossing your legs leaning your arms against them. ‘’I wrote it on tour a few weeks after I found out,’’ you explain to him. ‘’I have all my thoughts written down in this journal and I feel like if I were to make a new album it would be my best yet, but then I don’t want to be the girl who shares too much and gets a reputation like I can’t get over things that happen to me.’’
It was true, you’d love nothing more than to make a whole album of all the thoughts that were written within the journal but you knew that what that would look like to everyone else. As much as you hate to admit it but what the public thought about you mattered to you more than you wanted it to.
‘’My last album everyone read into so much,’’ He says making you look up at him, ‘’Everyone was trying to decipher every single word trying to figure out who the songs were about.’’ He admits, you had wondered to when you listened to the songs that felt so personal. ‘’That’s what the job is though, it’s putting yourself out there feelings and all and that means everyone thinking they know you, even if they’re far from knowing the real you.’’ He says.
You smile at him finally feeling like someone else got it, you were about to reply when the door swung open to the studio seeing the rest of Shawn’s team finally back from lunch. You smile at Shawn and he gives you a look of sympathy.
‘’You all finish?’’ Geoff whom you met earlier before they left asks. You both nod your head glancing to one another.
‘‘Yeah, it’s a great song,’‘ Shawn says. ‘‘We have to book another day so we can record that good?’‘ He asks Geoff and he nods.
‘’Well I should go, I have a few more errands to run before it get’s too late,’’ you say. You put your journal back in your bag closing the bag, you get up and so does Shawn giving you a hug. ‘’Thank you ‘’ You say hugging him tightly.
‘‘Anytime, Y/N’‘ He says giving you a glimpse of his gorgeous smile. ‘’I’ll text you when we can get back in here and get the song recorded!’’ He says and you nod smiling at him.
You say your goodbyes once again and tell the rest of his team goodbye as they do you. You walk out into the parking garage of the studio that was clear of the paparazzi and walk over to your car. You get in shutting the door and you sit there a second smiling to yourself at how well today went with you and Shawn. Not only was the song amazing but it was personal and got some of the feelings out that you felt everyone could relate to at any point in their life with someone they cared about.
You had been home a few hours and were just sitting on your couch watching one of the new releases that had come out for rent on DVD when your phone rang from the other side of the room. You groan regretting the placing of your living room not granting yourself an outlet near your favorite spot, you trudge over picking up your phone and glancing at the message you had received.
I’m going to a launch part next week that I really don’t want to go to, want to help make it more enjoyable by coming with?
You smile to yourself at the text from Shawn biting your lip so you don’t grin like an idiot. You text back quickly,
Sounds fun! I’m in! xx
You smile as you send it feeling a flutter in your stomach out of excitement. You close your phone laying back down on the couch trying to watch the movie again but unfortunately your mind was wrapped around the thought of next week.
Pt. 3
TAG LIST: @softboycal , @fan-of-many-bands , @starksflyy , @emmiejames , @yourwonderbelle (Let me know if you want to be added so you know when I update! Or let me know of you’d like to be removed which I hope you don’t!;))
#Shawn mendes imagine#shawn mendes#shawn mendes fanfiction#shawn mendes angst#shawn x reader#shawn mendes fic#shawn mendes fluff
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@deathtaken asked: what were you thinking? :)))) amo album sentence starters | accepting
things have been 𝚁𝙾𝚄𝙶𝙷 for a while now, losing jason being the first in many things that slowly and yet somehow quickly tore kevin apart. but despite jason being the 𝙻𝙾𝚅𝙴 𝙾𝙵 𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝙻𝙸𝙵𝙴, kevin could’ve been alright after losing him. he still would've had ian, but then 𝙸𝙰𝙽 𝚆𝙰𝚂 𝙶𝙾𝙽𝙴 𝚃𝙾𝙾. and maybe he still could’ve been okay, if it wasn't for all the other deaths that he 𝙵𝙰𝙸𝙻𝙴𝙳 to stop. if it wasn’t for the constant intense memories of being 𝚂𝙿𝙻𝙰𝚃𝚃𝙴𝚁𝙴𝙳 in blood and flesh from frankie and lewis. if it wasn’t for the constant reminders of the 𝙶𝙾𝚁𝙴 𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝙷𝙾𝚁𝚁𝙾𝚁𝚂 he'd seen under the roller coaster at red river. he could’ve survived without 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙱𝙾𝚈𝚂 𝙷𝙴 𝙻𝙾𝚅𝙴𝙳, but he'd been forced to deal with so much more trauma than 𝙰𝙽𝚈 𝚂𝙸𝙽𝙶𝙻𝙴 𝙿𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙾𝙽 could ever deal with.
he had 𝚃𝚁𝙸𝙴𝙳 to be strong, had tried 𝚂𝙾 𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙳 to be the best he could be. he still had a life to live, his father still 𝙴𝚇𝙿𝙴𝙲𝚃𝙴𝙳 the best from him, his brothers still 𝙽𝙴𝙴𝙳𝙴𝙳 him, he couldn't let the pressure fall on frankie. but it was all 𝚂𝙾 𝙼𝚄𝙲𝙷 to deal with, had all been so much to live through. and he had gotten 𝚂𝙾 𝙳𝙰𝙼𝙽 𝚃𝙸𝚁𝙴𝙳 of trying to live through this. everything was impossible, everything had felt so different to how it had been 𝙹𝚄𝚂𝚃 𝙼𝙾𝙽𝚃𝙷𝚂 𝙰𝙶𝙾.
he'd been trying to 𝙴𝙽𝙳 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙶𝚂 for a while. pretty much since the night of the tri-centennial. he drank more than a person should be 𝙰𝙱𝙻𝙴 𝚃𝙾 𝙷𝙰𝙽𝙳𝙻𝙴, did hard drugs with little worry about safety and 𝙾𝚅𝙴𝚁𝙳𝙾𝚂𝙴𝚂. he'd tried more practical ways too, he'd tried 𝙴𝚅𝙴𝚁𝚈𝚃𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙶 he could think of. but clearly it 𝚆𝙰𝚂𝙽'𝚃 𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝚃𝙸𝙼𝙴 to go just yet, clearly death wasn’t willing to let him die just yet. he hadn't 𝙸𝙽𝚃𝙴𝙽𝙳𝙴𝙳 on anyone finding out until time was up, hadn’t planned on anyone being 𝙵𝙾𝚁𝙲𝙴𝙳 to see this. but joe had made a surprise visit, had wanted to 𝙲𝙷𝙴𝙲𝙺 𝙸𝙽 on his little brother. something that at least joe would think was a 𝙶𝙾𝙾𝙳 𝙸𝙳𝙴𝙰, considering the sight he walked in on.
there’s 𝙰 𝚅𝙰𝚁𝙸𝙴𝚃𝚈 of things spread across the floor of kevin's room, each having more 𝙿𝙾𝚃𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙸𝙰𝙻 𝚃𝙾 𝙺𝙸𝙻𝙻 than the last. a few needles on his desk, 𝚄𝙽𝚁𝙴𝙻𝙰𝚃𝙴𝙳 to his attempts but just as dangerous, razor blades across the floor that just 𝚆𝙾𝚄𝙻𝙳𝙽'𝚃 𝙿𝙴𝙽𝙴𝚃𝚁𝙰𝚃𝙴 𝚂𝙺𝙸𝙽, a gun he'd shot at himself a hundred times which only 𝙲𝙻𝙸𝙲𝙺𝙴𝙳 as if it wasn't loaded despite the rounds in the chamber, a 𝙽𝙾𝙾𝚂𝙴 dangling from the ceiling fan which had simply left a 𝙱𝚁𝚄𝙸𝚂𝙴 rather than actually cause any death. kevin 𝚂𝙷𝙾𝚄𝙻𝙳 𝙱𝙴 𝙳𝙴𝙰𝙳, but for once death doesn't want the boy to go yet.
he'd 𝙵𝚁𝙾𝚉𝙴𝙽 when the door opened, and the look on joe's face had been 𝙷𝙴𝙰𝚁𝚃𝙱𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙺𝙸𝙽𝙶. clearly he wasn't prepared to walk in on that, but he could feel the 𝚁𝙴𝙻𝙸𝙴𝙵 joe felt at the fact that kevin was still 𝙰𝙻𝙸𝚅𝙴. reluctantly kevin had gone out to the living room with joe, the pair 𝚂𝙸𝚃𝚃𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙸𝙽 𝚂𝙸𝙻𝙴𝙽𝙲𝙴 for quite some time before joe had spoken. kevin thought the answer to that question was 𝙾𝙱𝚅𝙸𝙾𝚄𝚂, but he didn't dare say that. his plan had been 𝙿𝚁𝙴𝚃𝚃𝚈 𝙲𝙻𝙴𝙰𝚁, and he knew joe had worked it out.
“ you 𝙳𝙾𝙽'𝚃 get it. ” and hes talking about a million things there. joe 𝙳𝙾𝙴𝚂𝙽'𝚃 𝙶𝙴𝚃 what it was like to watch the two boys he loved 𝙱𝚁𝚄𝚃𝙰𝙻𝙻𝚈 𝙳𝙸𝙴, to get covered in blood 𝙳𝙰𝚈𝚂 𝙸𝙽 𝙰 𝚁𝙾𝚆, to watch 𝚂𝙾 𝙼𝙰𝙽𝚈 people die in a matter of days, to be 𝙱𝚄𝚁𝙽𝙴𝙳 𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝙸𝙽𝙹𝚄𝚁𝙴𝙳 and left alone in the end. kevins decline had been one joe 𝚃𝚁𝙸𝙴𝙳 to stop, but 𝙽𝙾𝚃𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙶 could’ve stopped the boy now. apparently the only thing on earth that was stopping kevin from dying was 𝙳𝙴𝙰𝚃𝙷 𝙸𝚃𝚂𝙴𝙻𝙵. what a bitter irony.
with 𝙻𝙸𝚃𝚃𝙻𝙴 𝙷𝙴𝚂𝙸𝚃𝙰𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽 kevin gets up and rushes to his room, coming back moments later with the 𝙻𝙾𝙰𝙳𝙴𝙳 𝙶𝚄𝙽. “ 𝙳𝙾𝙽'𝚃 𝙵𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙺 𝙾𝚄𝚃. ” but he knows joe will. “ just watch. ” and to joe that may seem like hes trying to make his last moments 𝙲𝚁𝚄𝙴𝙻, but he knows joe will get it once hes done. gun is aimed at his own head, trigger pulled 𝙾𝚅𝙴𝚁 𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝙾𝚅𝙴𝚁 𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝙾𝚅𝙴𝚁 𝙰𝙶𝙰𝙸𝙽, clicking every time. he pulls the trigger more than necessary, makes sure it's 𝙲𝙻𝙴𝙰𝚁 that it goes through every possible bullet. 𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝙽𝙾𝚃𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙶. and then he steps towards joe, opens it up to reveal that it has 𝙵𝚄𝙻𝙻 𝙰𝙼𝙼𝚄𝙽𝙸𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽, every single time he pulled the trigger 𝚂𝙷𝙾𝚄𝙻𝙳'𝚅𝙴 𝙺𝙸𝙻𝙻𝙴𝙳 𝙷𝙸𝙼. the gun is put aside now, carefully placed to 𝙵𝙰𝙲𝙴 𝙰𝚆𝙰𝚈 from joe. kevin wasn’t about to let a ‘𝙵𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙺 𝙰𝙲𝙲𝙸𝙳𝙴𝙽𝚃’ take his brother.
he 𝙳𝚁𝙾𝙿𝚂 to his knees in front of joe, tears in his eyes as his hands find their way to joe's knees, the boys head dropping to rest in his brothers lap as he 𝙱𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙺𝚂 𝙳𝙾𝚆𝙽. “ i've been trying.. for 𝚂𝙾 𝙻𝙾𝙽𝙶.. ” words come out as whimpers between sobs, 𝙱𝙰𝚁𝙴𝙻𝚈 even understandable. “ i just want it all to stop but.. 𝙸 𝙲𝙰𝙽'𝚃... death 𝚆𝙾𝙽'𝚃 𝙻𝙴𝚃 𝙼𝙴.. ” and hes officially past caring if joe thinks hes 𝙲𝚁𝙰𝚉𝚈. kevin knows, at the very least, that its very clear that he's 𝚄𝙽𝚂𝚃𝙰𝙱𝙻𝙴. “ 𝙸𝚃'𝚂 𝙽𝙾𝚃 𝙼𝚈 𝚃𝚄𝚁𝙽. ” and what could almost be called a bitter laugh comes out at that, followed by even 𝙼𝙾𝚁𝙴 𝚂𝙾𝙱𝚂. he hates it, hates the idea that someone else would have to die for him to go down the same path.
“ I can't die like this, I cant.. 𝙸 𝙲𝙰𝙽'𝚃 𝙳𝙾 𝙸𝚃 𝙼𝚈𝚂𝙴𝙻𝙵. ” and despite the sobbing it seems as if maybe he 𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙻𝙸𝚉𝙴𝙳 something as he spoke, but the look in his eye says it's 𝙽𝙾𝚃𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙶𝙾𝙾𝙳. “ i cant... ” his gaze drifts to the 𝙶𝚄𝙽 𝙾𝙽 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙵𝙻𝙾𝙾𝚁 before back up to joe. “ but.. but maybe I can still be 𝙼𝚄𝚁𝙳𝙴𝚁𝙴𝙳... ” words are quiet, but hes not sobbing anymore. and he 𝙺𝙽𝙾𝚆𝚂 joe would never do it, knows joe would 𝚁𝙴𝙵𝚄𝚂𝙴, but now that hes thought of it he feels like he 𝙷𝙰𝚂 𝚃𝙾 𝚂𝙰𝚈 𝙸𝚃. hes finally realized another option. “ joe... ” quiet, 𝙳𝙴𝚂𝙿𝙴𝚁𝙰𝚃𝙴. he doesn't want his brother to have to deal with the 𝙶𝚄𝙸𝙻𝚃 of it, but hes so focused on the new chance to 𝙼𝙰𝙺𝙴 𝙴𝚅𝙴𝚁𝚈𝚃𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚂𝚃𝙾𝙿 that hes not thinking about anyone else.
“ 𝙿𝙻𝙴𝙰𝚂𝙴... 𝙺𝙸𝙻𝙻 𝙼𝙴. ”
#deathtaken#anyway im CRYING A LOT#suicide //#attempted suicide //#gun //#ask to tag //#「 i — answered 」#「 i — answered memes 」#「 ii — in character 」#「 ii — post canon verse 」
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A Night to Remember
a/n: It is finally here; my Stray Kids Halloween special,,,5 days too late. I’m sorry, real life got in the way, I procrastinated like mate, stop procrastinating and I underestimated the amount of work this would cost me. With that being said, I worked my ass off for this special and i hope you all like it since I put my blood, sweat and tears into this. <3
word count (all 9 parts): 11.5k
main part: 1.8k+
summary: A story in which Stray Kids take you to a Halloween-themed amusement park on the night of October 31st and there’s different kinds of attractions you can go on. This is a 9 part series with this here being the main part and one part for each member. In the end, click on the attraction you want to go on and get your date with a surprise member.
=> moodboard credit to the lovely @marriael who made it specially for this series.💖
It was definitely a Halloween spent differently this year. No trick or treating, no giving out candy, no dressing up or Halloween parties since this time your friends decided to take you out on a trip to a Halloween-themed amusement park on the spooky night of October 31st. Claiming they wanted to make the first Halloween they get to spend with you special and a night to remember, whatever that was supposed to mean. Literally the only information they gave you regarding this trip was that it’s going to be at night and they had promised it to get spooky but the latter just sounded like an empty threat to you. After all, you knew your friends, and they were bigger cowards than you, yourself, especially the one whose looks resembled a squirrel.
Apart from squirrel boy there was also a sneaky one who seemed to be attached to squirrel boy in your group of friends, an overly enthusiastic yet sleep-deprived leader, an ethereal, gorgeous angel you still weren’t sure was actually human, then this small bean who claimed to be dark and intimidating, though everyone could see he was actually quite the opposite of it, his freckled best friend with the voice of a demon, an innocent-looking boy who could roast you better than any BBQ ever would, and not to forget the braces-wearing baby. And now, tell me again you weren’t at least a little bit worried about what’s going to happen tonight. They could’ve at least provided you with the name of the amusement park or its location but as soon as you asked, Chan only replied to you in a suggestive whisper, saying it was a secret.
What had you gotten yourself into?
Hyunjin texted you this morning to be at their dorm at 6pm, so you still had enough time for the one-hour long drive, and now that you were standing in front of their door, you already felt the excitement bubbling inside of you. Sure, you’ve been to amusement parks before but never at night and on top of that on Halloween. You had sworn to yourself to kick the butt of whoever was going to scare you, no exceptions made.
Not long after you knocked on the door, footsteps could’ve been heard from inside the room, approaching the door. A tall boy with messy black hair revealed himself after opening the door to let you in. He looked classy and fashionable even in a simple black and white striped sweatshirt and grey sweatpants. His hair seemed to still be somewhat wet since you could see little droplets of water glistening among the mess of black strands.
“Good evening, Hyunjinnie.” You smiled, lifting your hand up to ruffle through his messy and still slightly wet hair, making the boy giggle.
He reciprocated your smile and greeted you as well, following you into the living room of their dorm, after you disposed of your shoes next to the door, where you then plopped down comfortably to wait for them to get ready.
While you made yourself comfortable and fetched your phone out of your bag, Hyunjin disappeared into the kitchen just to appear next to you seconds later again with a glass and a bottle of water, which he both placed on the coffee table right in front of you, before heading in the direction of their rooms and the bathroom, getting ready himself, or so you assumed.
“You guys are worse than girls getting ready for prom. We’re going to a Halloween-themed amusement park and not a catwalk…or wait, are you now telling me you’ve played me and we’re heading somewhere completely different?” You rambled on as they finally showed up in the living room, all styled and ready to leave.
“First of all, hey!! We’re not worse than girls,” Changbin pouted.
“Exactly. And no, don’t worry. We’re taking you to that amusement park for sure.” Though something about Minho’s smirk while saying that made you worry after all.
The drive to that ominous location where the amusement park was supposed to be located at turned out to be funnier than expected and it actually calmed your nerves down a lot, almost to a point where you laughed about yourself for thinking those eight dorks would really try to scar you for life. You were all listening to the whole I am YOU album, which they had just dropped around a week ago and jamming along to all the songs. Jeongin was a smiley baby as always and screamed the song lyrics together with Jisung while Felix sang everyone’s part in his deep voice with Changbin, Hyunjin and Seungmin trying to imitate him. Minho looked at them in amusement, though with a raised eyebrow and then gave you a look that equalled an eye-roll, to what you grinned back at him. Sure, it was loud inside the van but it was also a blast and everyone seemed to get more than hyped for an unforgettable night.
Finally, the van that Chan was driving came to halt and you looked out of the window to discover that you actually headed to an amusement park, its name already visible from afar due to the huge, ascending neon sign on top.
Scream Shadow Land, it read.
‘Sounds promising,’ you thought with a hint of sarcasm.
Chan, who had already climbed out of the van from the driver’s seat, shooed everyone out and guided you to the entrance. The big neon sign gave the surroundings a light orange glow which made you think of pumpkin soup, or maybe it was all the pumpkins standing around as decoration that suddenly made you feel hungry.
After Mr. Bang was so nice to pay for everyone’s entrance tickets, you entered the big park and came to an abrupt halt after walking through the gates. The park looked huge and there were so many attractions, you didn’t even know which one to go on first.
“It's beautiful, right?” Chan suddenly appeared next to you.
“Yes, it's mind-blowing. Thank you for taking me here.” You replied in awe.
The park was lit up by all the attractions and streetlamps, there were even glowing pumpkins standing around. It wasn't packed but there were definitely quite some people who wanted to spend their Halloween night the same way as you planned to.
“You need to keep an eye open, y/n, sometimes they try to scare you and suddenly jump out from a dark corner in a creepy costume.” Jisung advised you with a grin.
“And if you're not careful, they'll kidnap you and bring you to their dungeons.” Minho chimed in from the other side next to you.
“Guys, are you trying to scare me now because you’ve realized this amusement park is rather beautiful than scary?”
“We might,” Seungmin whispered into your ear, making you turn around hasily, slightly startled at him standing right behind you all of a sudden.
“Jesus, don't give me a heart-attack, Minnie.” You exclaimed while dramatically clutching your chest.
“I want to ride the roller coaster,” Jeongin whined from a few feet away from you.
“I'll pass,” Jisung gulped, getting reminded of that time they went to an amusement park during their reality show.
“C'mon guys, let's get going!” Chan announced, signalling the rest of you to finally get away from the entrance and start the adventure.
“Since we came here to surprise y/n, they can choose what ride they want to go on first and then we'll just see who'll go with them, okay?” Changbin suggested, giving you the opportunity to choose freely.
Now that made you nervous. Not the part that you could choose, that was awesome, but the part when he said that someone would join you then. Of course you silently hoped for a special someone but how big was the chance to pick exactly the one ride he wanted to go on, too? 1 in 8, so you had to choose wisely.
You were here with eight dorky but wonderful guys and you would've been lying if you said they didn’t make your heart beat faster. After all this time you had spent over at their dorms as their friend, you felt so close to each and everyone of them though there was this one member you had always felt a bit different around. You didn't want to admit it at first but over time you had to be true to yourself and give in to your growing crush on him. Whenever it was the two of you alone, you felt your heartbeat speed up and your hands getting shaky. When he touched you casually or brushed his hand against yours, a wave of electricity shot through your whole body, and someday, all of these signs became so painfully obvious that you had to admit it to yourself.
“Look at all those attractions! Which do you want to ride first?” Chan asked you, inspecting your profile from the side and unknowingly shaking you out of your little reverie.
You did look at them. But how on earth would you be able to choose. There were at least eight different attractions that piqued your interest.
There was a dark and huge building if you took the path to the far left, it was clad in spider webs and looked really spooky. In front stood a person dressed in a skeleton costume with a scythe and there was a pool with blood red water right next to the entrance from which green light and a lot of smoke came out. Next to it was a similar building but instead of an actual haunted house it looked more like a dark ride. It had drawn ghosts all over the façade and seemed inviting for a little spook. You weren't really sure which scared you more though. If you took the path right in front of you there was a huge carousel with three different floors first and right behind it you spotted two tall towers, one being a gyro tower and the other one a drop tower. Those attractions seemed more or less harmless and fun. Last but not least there was also a path to the right which led you to a roller coaster and a swing ride. If you followed the path even further it would lead you more into the centre of the park where the giant and cliché Ferris wheel was located, from which you could see all over the whole park and even more. You were beyond amazed by all these attractions.
“Which one do you choose?” Felix beamed his contagious smile at you, tearing you out of your thoughts.
“Uhh... I think, I choose…”
Roller Coaster | Haunted House | Drop Tower | Gyro Tower | Dark Ride | Ferris Wheel | Swing Ride | Carousel
“Oh really? I want to go there, too!!” A familiar voice sounded from next to you.
“Alright, let's pair up and meet here again in two hours!” And with that, everyone went their own ways in pairs.
#stray kids#stray kids bang chan#stray kids woojin#stray kids minho#stray kids lee know#stray kids changbin#stray kids hyunjin#stray kids jisung#stray kids han#stray kids felix#stray kids seungmin#stray kids jeongin#stray kids i.n#stray kids fluff#stray kids fanfic#stray kids scenarios#stray kids fanfiction#stray kids series#bang chan#kim woojin#lee minho#seo changbin#hwang hyunjin#han jisung#lee felix#kim seungmin#yang jeongin#kpop fanfiction#kpop fluff#kpop fanfic
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Proud
A/N: This was prompted here on tumblr and was written pre-mural-gate :p
In all honesty it's a lil rushed and on the short side since I wanted to get it OUT (pun intended) before the actual 4.26. Thus this has had no BETA, but I do hope it's decent!!
Summary: A fictionalized AU version of what went down on 4.26 2019.
TW: Anxiety
Read it on Ao3 or on wattpad
--
I'm gay.
I'm gay.
I'm gay.
The first time Taylor Swift said those words out loud she'd just turned 14 and she could hear her own heart beat in her ears, so loud that it drowned out her words.
Those scary, stigmatized words that she'd been planning to let pass over her lips for months by the time they actually did.
Now, all these years later all she can remember from around the time of her 14th birthday is the day after her the party. It was overwhelming nausea, it was shaking hands and then hugs, a lot of hugs, most of them from her mother who'd always been supportive and proud of Taylor for being herself; no matter what that had meant over the years.
Andrea is standing beside Taylor now as the 29-year old looks over her appearance in the mirror and presses her stubborn, unruly hair down for the fifth time in just over a minute. Her mom's smile is encouraging, "You look great, honey." She says placing a hand on her daughter's shoulder, "You look great and you can do this."
"Thanks mo-" Taylor begins only to be cut off by the sound of her phone ringing in the back of her jeans' pocket.
Fishing the phone out Taylor glances at the screen and smiles, "it's Austin." She announces, accepting the call and putting the device to her ear. "Hi!"
"Hey! How are you doing so far?" Her little brother asks gently and Taylor's smile dies from her lips as if on command. "I'm okay, I'm waiting for Karlie..." "She's not there?" "She and dad just took Joe for a walk..." "Lousy timing!" "No it's okay, I'm okay...And mom's here." "Okay...Teffy?" "Mhm?" "I love you and I'm damn proud of you."
"Thanks," I love you too!"
The two have barely hung up when Karlie comes into the room in the company of Joe the dog and Scott Swift. Karlie immediately takes Joe's leash off and then makes her way right to Taylor who has now sat down at the piano.
As her girl walks over Taylor has the time to observe her own fingers on the piano keys and to will her hands (to only moderate success) to stop shaking. She takes a deep breath and looks up at the clock, five minutes til midnight. Exhaling unevenly Taylor lets her finger dance over the piano keys without pressing them down, just to check she has it all memorized.
Just then Karlie is there, close, with her, wrapping her arms around her fiancée. "How are you doing, Daisy?" She whispers softly and Taylor feels herself tense up at the uncomfortable question. "I'm fine, I've got this..." She says and wishes she could've sounded more confident. "Damn right you do," Karlie assures her, "but I'm gonna need you to talk to me because I can hear in your voice that you're not okay..." The younger woman pushed. "...I'm...nervous." Taylor admits reluctantly, the statement sounds almost like a question and her voice is small. "Awww," Karlie pulls her closer and brushes some hair away from Taylor's neck with her nose, kissing the now exposed skin almost teasingly, "My baby still gets nervous?"
"Extra, tonight..." Taylor leans her head back and into Karlie, wanting the embrace to protect her from the mounting anxiety. "What if they figure it out, Karls?" She mumbles and feels her heart fall into her stomach once again as a new wave of nausea hits. More kisses, "if they do they do." Karlie says simply and there is a trademark Sunshine smile in her tone. Taylor twists her engagement ring nervously and Karlie rubs her back in reassurance.
"Baby, you're being the bravest possible version of yourself and I'm so damn proud of you!"
"I hate to interrupt this supportive moment," Tree's voice, (filled with so much genuine empathy and care that Taylor wants to cry from the overwhelming love in the room) sounds from the couch, "But that's two minutes to midnight, T."
"Okay," Taylor agrees a little breathlessly, slipping her ring off and handing it to Karlie before she mounts her phone atop the piano, in the optimal angle to record her face and the keys as she plays. Karlie scurries away and collects Joe before joining the others on the couch.
"If this is too much, we can always take the backup." Tree reminds Taylor who only shakes her head.
They've been planning this for weeks now and she won't back out at the last second. There will be plenty of time to play In Your Eyes later after all, it will be the second single, but it shouldn't be the song played or released tonight.
"Okay, the post is up and it's midnight, go!" Tree says and Taylor presses record on her phone to officially start the Live video now streaming on her website where the countdown used to be only moments ago.
"Hi guys!" Taylor exclaims and waves at the camera, hoping her smile doesn't look as nervous as it feels.
To all the world it looks as if Taylor is sitting alone in the living room, at her piano, everyone watching her right now have no idea of the entire support system hidden from view. The support system of four of Taylor's favorite people on earth, only one of them secretly so.
She swallows, "So I figured before the new song goes up on all the streaming platforms I'd play it for you, just you and me, how does that sound?" She pauses for a moment as the comments pop up and she can't help but smile.
"Okay so the song is called Wedding Bells and it's off of my new album Proud that's gonna be out on July 13th, I am super excited for you to hear it!"
--
February 2017
"Karlie," Taylor said, exasperated and not even close to smiling. "Why are you trying to make this into a joke when I clearly don't find it fucking funny?"
These words were causing Karlie to seriously consider how much biting off her own tongue would actually hurt.
"Hey," she tried softly instead, "hey...I'm sorry, okay? I'm just trying to make this a little easier."
"But it's not easy baby, it's not!" Taylor protested and tears were running down her cheeks now.
"Believe me I know, but Taylor, please, I can't have you freak out like this, I-"
"I'm not freaking out," Taylor said, a little calmer now, wiping her tears and biting her lip to stop the new wave threatening to fall from her eyes.
"So what you're telling me," she asked slowly, seemingly fighting to keep her voice calm. "Is that you're going to pretend to marry him?"
At those absurd words being spoken aloud Karlie's already fragile, tired heart shattered into a million pieces, Taylor wasn't even looking at her anymore.
The singer had spun around and started aimlessly rearranging the dishes in the sink in an attempt to find something to do with her hands, probably.
"Okay, first of all," Karlie said as she walked over to her girlfriend, prepared to wrap her arms around the shorter woman. "The keyword here is pretend."
Karlie pulled Taylor close as she spoke and pressed her lips softly to the side of the singer's neck. Something that'd usually appease her, not this time though. Taylor (likely realizing what Karlie had in mind) jerked her head unceremoniously to the side, away from Karlie's approaching lips and causing a cup she'd been holding to fall back into the sink with a jarring crash.
The model hadn't noticed before, but now she could plainly both see and feel that Taylor was shaking and when she turned back towards Karlie the familiar blue eyes were flaring with...something. Anger? Hurt? Frustration?
Karlie caught herself lowering her own gaze at the sight; Taylor was clearly taking this badly. That had of course been expected, but Karlie was starting to get genuinely scared now, Taylor was even more upset than she'd feared.
"Well," She snapped, brusquely backing out of Karlie's attempted embrace and causing her arms to fall awkwardly to her sides, "We said it wouldn't go that far, we always said...." She seemed to lose her words, or her train of thought, or her sanity...
Karlie looked up to meet those eyes, dark with hurt now.
"Tay," She tried, but her girlfriend shook her head, her eyes almost overflowing with held back tears now.
"I just always thought-"
"I know..."
--
Taylor suppresses the rest of the unpleasant memory, she looks back up smiling at the camera again as she starts playing.
What if they figure it out? They won't though, not for another month and that's how she wants it, for tonight she's just proud of herself for taking the first step on this last bit of road. It's been a long walk, but just like they promised each other that night in the back of a car, Karlie squeezing her hand, they've never stopped walking it together, not even for a second and soon everyone else will get to march with them too.
There may not be a pot of gold at the end of this rainbow, but there will be happiness. Happiness and freedom for her and for Karlie and that will be worth all of this, the tears and the fear. Maybe it's the fact that she took such a hefty doze of anxiety suppressors for this but Taylor isn't scared anymore, not one bit, instead she's proud!
A/N: Happy 4.26, let's hope we all survive!
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