#counting this as a log entry ok. this is all i did today

[hailtothebubble]

played more into the androids arc (which is actually the cell arc, surprise!!!) i'm rlly loving it so far. the androids are great of course i'm saying this. of course i love the androids. i love cell's character and concept but i'll admit i'm not huge on his design past first form (though perfect form is way better than second so)

[twilightprince101]

So I made an SCP entry for Bugsnax...

I thought with the ending and all of the disturbing stuff that this game has, it would fit perfectly with SCP stuff. Not to mention, there has to be an SCP equivalent in the Grumpus world. GCP? SGP? SCG? I dunno man, have some horror writing about muppets.

SCP-3470: Sentient Sustenance

[Heavy spoilers for Bugsnax ending]

Item #: SCP-3470 aka “Snaktooth Island”

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures:  Due to its nature of being a landmass the most SCP teams can do is obscure its location to the populus. Efforts have been made to create rumors of numerous shipwrecks--akin to SCP-605 “Bermuda Triangle”--to deter the public from exploring the location. If unauthorized ships are witnessed crossing into the restricted zone, they are to be terminated immediately.           Addendum: Due to the recent insubordination of Dr. [REDACTED]. All authorized personnel that enter or exit SCP-3470 are to be subjected to a rigorous screening process to ensure that no instances of SCP-3470-A are brought out of the restricted area without B Class Permission or higher. Further precautions being considered are a 10 minute test in which personnel seeking access to SCP-3470 are to be placed into an empty room with an instance of SCP-3470-A. If SCP personnel show any signs of wishing to consume SCP-3470-A, they are to be removed from the team immediately. Permission from Professor [REDACTED].  Is awaiting approval.

Description: SCP-3470 is a large landmass off of the coast of [REDACTED].  Spanning 50 mi^2 and nearing 1.5 mi in height. Several sections of SCP-3470 are flux in weather patterns, ranging from lush forests to arid deserts in the span of 3 miles. Although similar in appearance to locations such as  [REDACTED].  And  [REDACTED]. , further research concludes that flora are substantially different in chemical composition, containing traces of [REDACTED].  Which was only recently discovered. Due to this, nearly all flora encompassing the island are inedible, as digestion induces hazardous effects ranging from intense stomach pains to spastic vomiting. 

The most significant aspect of SCP-3470 are various instances of sentient life, which are to be referred to as SCP-3470-A-[1-100]. SCP-3470-A take appearances of common food items, such as SCP-3470-A-1 [“Strabby”] taking the form of a ripe red strawberry with what appear to be dollar store googly-eyes [all instances of SCP-3470-A share the final trait]. All instances of SCP-3470-A vary in physique, behavioral patterns and similarities to their respective food item. Each instance also appears to have a “name” that it repeats ad nauseum despite not having observable mouths or vocal chords, making them easier to classify. Chemically however all are similar, containing faint traces of  [REDACTED]. . This can be witnessed upon any attempt to alter SCP-3470-A instances from their base form, dissolving into an unknown inedible fluid, losing sentience in the process. 

Due to SCP-3470’s flora being inedible, SCP-3470-A instances become the landmass’s only source of sustenance. Consumption of SCP-3470-A induces a drastic and instance side-effect of modifying the consumer’s limbs, thereby becoming SCP-3470-B. The limbs of SCP-3470-B instances vary depending on the instance of SCP-3470-A that has been consumed, alongside how many instances have been consumed prior to said event. Fundamentally however, all limbs modified take on the appearance of whatever the SCP-3470-A instance was impersonating. The more instances a subject consumes the more of their body transforms, beginning with the hands and feet and extending to the entire torso and face. The internal functions of the body remain intact along with full autonomous control, however the structure and physique of transformed limbs change drastically, such as an SCP-3470-B instance’s arm transforming into a banana after consuming an instance of SCP-3470-A-12 [“Banooper”]. These transformations subside in time [correlating to amount of SCP-3470-A instances consumed], with SCP-3470-B limbs reverting back to their original state, containing faint traces of [REDACTED]. 

Addendum 3470-B: Increased Exposure

Proceeding with experimentation with SCP-3470-A instances under Prof. [REDACTED]. , extended exposure and consumption of SCP-3470-A instances results in increasing addictive tendencies and side effects. File below contains audio files of experiments with Personnel D-125.

<Begin Log 01, skip to 00:02:17>

Dr. [REDACTED].: D-Class 125, approach SCP 3470-A-45.

D-125: What is…? Ok, seriously what the grump is this??? Like, I signed up for this expecting a lot of horrifying stuff, but-did someone slap googly-eyes on a piece of corn?!

Dr. [REDACTED].  : 125, please approach SCP-3470-A-45.

D-125: Yeah, yeah, alright. So… (to A-45 after approach), what are you supposed to be then? Did Dr. [REDACTED].  Have their kid put their arts and crafts project on display or-

A-45: Cobhopper!

D-125: GRUMPIN WHA- IT JUST TALKED?! IT MOVED IT’S LOOKING AT ME!!!

Dr. [REDACTED].: (whispering) so much for being the ‘toughest D-class around… ‘

<Skip to 00:08:24>

D-125: So you’re telling me I just… eat it? The eyes too?

Dr. [REDACTED].  : Correct. Do not worry, upon further testing the eyes seem to be made of a material akin to valentine’s candy hearts (lie).

D-125: Huh… alright then. Down the hatch, I guess?

Sounds of eating, cries of A-45

Dr. [REDACTED].  : D-125, describe the flavor.

D-125: It’s… good actually! I was honestly expecting the insides to be guts or poison or something, but it’s actually pretty good! Nice and buttered to, a bit of salt? Reminds me of my mom’s barbeque. 

Dr. [REDACTED].  : And the sensation of your leg transforming?

D-125: Huh? (125 looks down and notices their leg transformed into a head of corn). Oh… Well this is pretty cool I guess. 

Dr. [REDACTED].  : Any uncomfortable sensations?

D-125: Not really no. It’s weird… I can still feel my toes, but it’s like a peg leg. Actually, I think I can see a few kernels wiggling if I try. Neat!

Dr. [REDACTED].  : Is… that it?

D-125: Yeah I think so, *chuckles,* this is actually pretty cool!

Dr. [REDACTED].  : Hmm… (To recorder) Despite initial panic from witnessing A-45, subject D-125 has adjusted to transformation with record pace. Further research required.

<End Log-01>

<Begin Log-04>

D-125: Heya doc!

Dr. [REDACTED].  : Greetings D-125. Have you adjusted to recent transformations?

D-125: Yeah it’s been going alright. The pineapple hair is a pretty nice dew all things considered, and the bacon tongue makes me look like a snake. I like it!

Dr. [REDACTED].  : Pleased to hear it. Now, approach SCP-3470-A-52.

D-125: Alright, what’s on the menu today then? Who’re you little guy?

A-52: Sodi-D Sodi-D!

D-125: Huh, a drink this time. Change of pace I guess.

Dr. [REDACTED].  : Please consume A-52.

D-125: Right away ma’am. Sir. Whatever.

Sound of soda can opening and drinking, cries of A-52.

Dr. [REDACTED].  : (To recorder) Upon the first drop of A-52’s fluid, transformation has already occurred, transforming the subject's ears into what appear to be soda can tabs. No further transformations appear to occur on consecutive gulps-wha (To D-125) Sir?!

Sounds of crunching, further cries of A-52, then silence.

D-125: Not bad! I don’t usually drink soda, beer’s more my thing personally, but it was pretty sweet! Just the right amount of sugar. And hey, new accessory!

Dr. [REDACTED].  : ...D-125, why did you eat A-52’s shell?

D-125: Huh?

Dr. [REDACTED].  : The… the can. Nobody has attempted to consume the can.

D-125: Oh. Uh… 

Silence for 7 seconds 

D-125: I dunno, I guess since the eyes were edible on the other guys, I thought the can would be here? Wasn’t too hard to eat, kinda like biting into ice. Didn’t hurt.

Dr. [REDACTED].  : Very… interesting. This will be recorded for future experiments, thank you D-125.

D-125: No prob. And hey, call me Chuffee.

<End Log-04>

<Begin Log-09, skip to 00:09:54>

D-125: Hehey, candy corn teeth! Pretty sharp too, should make eating these things even easier!

Dr. [REDACTED].  : D-125, you’re nearing complete bodily transformation. Have you been experiencing any discomfort as of late? Any anomalies?

D-125: Nope, in fact I feel great! I used to have this crink in my back for the longest time, but now it’s gone! I’m more limber than I’ve been in ages!

Dr. [REDACTED].  : Fascinating… very well then, thank you for your time.

D-125: ...wait, what? That’s it?

Dr. [REDACTED].  : Hm?

D-125: There isn’t any more left? I thought there would be a bit more.

Dr. [REDACTED].  : *sigh,* D-125, we’ve went over this last time. We cannot give you more than one instance a day due to 3470-A’s high caloric count. The instance you just ate was over twenty th-

D-125: You know you keep saying that. Didn’t you guys want to really figure out what’s with these things? When I ate that soda can you said yourself that nobody’s tried that before, so let’s go further! I’m still hungry anyways, I’m craving a burger if you got any like that.

Dr. [REDACTED].  : Sir, please exit the room. I cannot give you any more than what I am authorized.

D-125: ……..You know, it’s interesting how your window is so high up there. I can hardly see you.

Dr. [REDACTED].  : ...excuse me?

D-125: You heard me [REDACTED].  , I can barely see you from down here. You can see exactly how I change, the new stuff I get… but I can’t see yours.

Silence for 15 seconds.

<End Log-09>

<Begin Log-10, skip to 00:11:02>

D-125: I know you’re holding out on me up there [REDACTED].  .

Dr. [REDACTED].  : Sir, I’ve told you countless times already. I can’t give you any more than I’m authorized.

D-125: (Sarcasm) Oh yeah, suuure. For all I know you guys are feasting away on these things up there, while leaving me for dust! Like seriously, a single popcorn kernel?! That’s it?!

Dr. [REDACTED].  : Sir, that is all I can give you today. Please exi-

Sound of a door opening

Dr. [REDACTED].  : Wh- Professor [REDACTED].  ?

Professor [REDACTED].  : Hello D-125. 

D-125: Oh great, another snob to tell me what to do. If you aren’t gonna feed me, then just shut up already! My stomach’s growling like crazy, and I’m not leaving until I get my meal!

Professor [REDACTED].  : Not to worry D-125, I’m fully prepared to grant your wish.

D-125: ...wait, really?

Dr. [REDACTED].  : Professor, what are you-

Professor [REDACTED].  : I listened to the log of your previous meal, and you raised a good point. If we at the SCP foundation wish to fully understand what these creatures are capable of, we must push the boundaries of what we believe are possible. So then…

(Sound of metal grinding, several overlapping cries of SCP-3470-A instances)

D-125: Oh, my…

Dr. [REDACTED].  : Professor, what are you doing?

Professor [REDACTED].  : Eat until you can’t eat anymore. Consider it my treat, to you.

D-125: Ooohohohohoooo yes!!! Now we’re talking!!! Come to papa little guys!!!

<Skip to 00:32:59>

Professor [REDACTED].  : Subject so far has consumed 34 instances of 3470-A. Since consuming number 21 he has shown increased signs of vigor, despite eating half of his body mass. 

Dr. [REDACTED].  : Professor, please, stop him. This is-

Professor [REDACTED].  : (continuing) Upon complete transformation of limbs to SCP 3470-B instances, any further consumption appears to override a prior one. His leg, previously resembling a head of corn has transformed now into a roll of sushi. His tongue, once a strip of bacon, now a wad of chips.

D-125: (While eating) Mmmph! Oh my god, what are you a jar of pickles! More the merrier!

Sound of sloppy gulping, glass crunching, cries of SCP-3470-A-35

D-125: Ooogh, some noodles too! Love japanese food!

Sounds of rapid slurping, rapid glass crunching and licking.

Professor [REDACTED].  : Subject appears to have increased vigor in consuming 3470-A instances, not leaving a single crumb or shard left uneaten. A query: what is the chemical makeup of instances contained in glass jars or bowls? The bowls themselves? Further research required.

<Skip to 01:42:47>

Dr. [REDACTED]. : Chuffee please, stop! You’re going to hurt yourself!

Rapid, feral sounds of crunching and slurping.

Professor [REDACTED].  : Subject has now eaten approximately eaten 1.5 times his body mass yet continues to feat, now with no regards for table manners whatsoever. I have already called for a janitor to wait outside.

Dr. [REDACTED].  : Chuffee stop!! You-

Laughter, slowly increasing in volume

D-125: This!! This is the best I’ve eaten in my entire life!!!

Dr. [REDACTED].  : Chuffee please-O-oh… oh my-

Professor [REDACTED].  : Subject’s left ear has disconnected itself from its host. There appear to be no signs of blood or even markings indicating he has had one at all-there goes a tooth!

D-125: Hooooh I knew you all were holding back on me!!! This stuff is delicious, amazing, spectacular!!! I’ll never go hungry again, no more rotting on the streets!!! This is all mine, you hear me?! Mine, MINE, MINE!!! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAH

Laughter continues for several seconds, sounds of objects falling to floor as volume slowly decreases, ending with a loud clatter.

Dr. [REDACTED].  : Ch-Chuffee, I- urp!

Sound of vomiting

Professor [REDACTED].  : Subject, after eating nearly twice his body mass, has had each limb separate from his core torso one by one, now fully resembling their respective food items, until his eyes transformed into SCP-3470-B instance, resembling the mixed nuts that made up his head. Soon after, his torso and head fell apart, scattering into mixed-nuts. I can not recognize Subject D-125 in the slurry.

More sounds of vomiting

Professor [REDACTED].  : These results are quite fascinating. Further research is required into these various side effects. End tape.

<End Log-10>

[johobi]

4944/12/43 - Seokjin

Word count: 800

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Warnings: allusions to tentacle sex

More: Dig Deep Masterlist

The night before your wedding to a man you couldn’t find any more repugnant, you seek out the mercantile aid of an unscrupulous space pirate.

Date: 4944/12/43 (AST)

UserID: king.seokjin

Log, you find me today in a state of utter disbelief. Find me questioning my sanity, and that of my brothers. Because I have encouraged something untenable, despite knowing all that I do. 

This evening, Yoongi petitioned me for the girl’s carriage. All I needed say was no. And yet I spoke the opposite. Yes, it was with reluctance, but the manner in which I acquiesced does not matter. It should simply have been no. 

I’ll start from the beginning.

Today a human came aboard. Hardly an unusual occurrence, if you’re to recall my previous entries, Log. We invite many - human and otherwise - to the Crinnick for negotiation. Just because I despise the four-limbed patza, doesn’t mean I won’t bleed them for every credit they are worth.

But today was different. 

The girl did not come aboard to conduct business in the manner we usually engage their accursed kind. In fact, it was like no other transaction I have ever witnessed. Well, I did not witness the act in question, but several of my brothers were unfortunate enough to observe. I have no doubt it will prove impossible for Hoseok, Jimin and Jungkook to scrub the ghastly images from their minds. The description alone disturbs me to sickness. 

And now he will not have her disembark. Would not OK flight until myself and Namjoon capitulated. Unfortunately, the Captain is soft and overly fond of the fragile meatsacks and their quaint ways. He agreed immediately. How quick he is to forget what they’ve done to me. To all of us.

But especially to me.

Log, Yoongi is cold. He is quiet and sharp and the very embodiment of ice. He cares for none but his brothers - and only then when he’s inebriated. He has shown more attachment to this girl after excavating her than he has any hard-won trinket. What manner of being has possessed him? What dreadful, mind-flaying parasite inhabited the depths of that girl’s nether regions? Whatever it may be, he is now its host. It’s possible he is incubating some genocidal hybrid species. I might suggest a quarantine to Hoseok.

Then why did you say yes?, Log, you ask? 

It is simple.

It is because Yoongi smiled. I have not once seen that expression upon him, unless pinned there by arrogance, cruelty, or on the odd occasion Taehyung puts on his puppet show. This was a smile something foreign. Sincere, if Yoongi ever practiced sincerity. There came no barbed quip with it. Just a plea for her to stay. He stared into me with dilated, unfocused eyes. Were I not a man of science I would accuse her of enthrallment. However, Hoseok is staunch in his belief that the human has awakened in Yoongi some long-latent, reproductive urge that simply cannot be sated by our female counterparts. Evolution missed a step. He says he’s heard tell of other Iluoli engaging in this crude form of copulation with other species, when the circumstances - and anatomy - are right. 

I cannot understand it myself. This sudden, carnal urge Yoongi says he must contend with now. Log, I do not overstate it when I say he looked positively crazed when making attempts to describe it! Atop that, he was exhausted, too. It cannot be good for him. For any of us.

And yet I’m enabling it further, because he asked earnestly, and with a smile. 

Smite me. 

However: I have only said yes for now. I am not so foolish as to agree to this in any permanent capacity. Because I know in my hearts that this will not last. Whatever feverish infatuation this is of his, it will unravel. They are no match. She will vex him with her irksome human needs and he will never understand the ridiculous intricacies of human courtship. It is guaranteed to fail. I can sleep peacefully in this knowledge. 

If it doesn’t prove short-lived, he may have endangered all of us. 

I may have endangered all of us.

Because I, and only I, am privy to her true identity. 

And all because he smiled, Log. 

I’ve become soft, like Namjoon. Tell no-one.

[thestudyfeels]

Why Celebrities Are Worth More Than You

Before I dive (copy that? Because this post is gonna be so deep? Edit: I’ll take Jesus and one litre of bleach, thank you) into this storm of revelations, ANNOUNCEMENT!!! This is the first post in a series where I go all in on a particular topic and dig up hidden nuggets of wisdom from it. In other words, I rant. Hard. 

Why am I blessing you with this goodness?

This entire series boils down to improving your mindset. You’ve probably heard the legend that in the Solomon Islands, villagers practiced an, ahem, unique form of logging. If a tree was too large to be felled with an ax, the natives withered down the tree by cursing it for weeks. That’s the idea behind this series: repetition. The PRIMARY reason why I win a lot, is because I am a perennial liar and I won't take a no for my dreams. If I want to have ‘x’ trait, I’ll lie and say I have ‘x’ trait till I do have ‘x’ trait.

This is also known as the Reality Distortion Field, popularised by Steve Jobs. “Steve Jobs’s “reality distortion field” was a personal refusal to accept limitations and to convince himself that any difficulty was surmountable. This “field” was so strong that he was able to convince others that they, too, could achieve the impossible. It was an internal reality so powerful it also became an external reality.” (x)

The catch? The distortion field, and mindset in general, works MAJORLY through repetition. So I don't care if you think you’re the biggest, saddest wanker around, I’m going to drum into your ears that you’re a star and trust me, by the end of this series, every constellation out there will be pining for you.

So tea, I’M ON FIRE TODAY, so if you have a coffee (tea?) to drink, some time to invest on yourself, and a sturdy ol’ cerebrum to upgrade, then join in and watch out for this series (Letters From Solomon Islands, WHATTUP) on your dashboards. My people already know that the how-to’s are clickbait anyway (Coughs, chokes on the shade.)

Why We Adore Our Celebs

The other day I was stalking Tom Hiddleston in my bathroom (please don't use your imagination) and exactly one day ago I had been stalking Billie Eilish in there (yes nosy Eric, I'm bi, but again, don’t get carried away) and there was an interview talking about her rise to fame, and THAT, fellow denizens, got me wondering: Why do we have celebrities? (A profound question Nandini, you’ve done us proud.)

Before you spit something political like “capitalism!”, put down that crochet pattern for a sec. Close your eyes (welcome to woke therapy, ayo), and I want you to envision one of your role models- the people you look up to and would DIE if you get a chance to meet them. The icons you stalk excessively on Insta and have all the notifs on for. No, Sally, your crush on Zac Efron’s abs doesn't count. Sorry to crush your hopes.

Second, consider WHY you love this person so much. It could be anyone - an actor, influencer *smirks*, singer, that hot man down the street who helped you pick up your groceries that one time because you’re clumsy- yup, anyone. Now, trap that love here, in these pages, as you read. (Oh Sally, here’s toilet paper and a cookie, stop sniffling.)

Here’s some foreshadowing: In a nutshell, ‘celebrities’ exist because the rest of us are— excuse us, politically incorrect statement coming through— losers. Or better put, because we can't become ‘celebrities’ ourselves. Don’t run in with your frying pan just yet, James, I’ll do a thorough deconstruction. Stay put and listen up:

           Look around and you’ll find that most of the citizenry is living a life for others. Whether subconsciously, or consciously, it’s as if we’re pre-programmed to imitate and copy whatever the herd is up to. “Yo, whatcha up to, Nate, you out partying? I’ll see you in ten then.” “Lol, are you living under a rock? Do you seriously not know what Uggs are?” “I mean… yeah, I hate Justin Bieber too, of course I do.”

And that's not our fault, really. Society briefs us on the ground rules of fitting in pretty early on: get good grades, go to college, try to find a nice paying job– and we do it, like unquestioning muppets helpless in its domineering hands.

Because we all know the ramifications that’ll crop up if we don’t. If anyone even dares to be a bit different, they’re freezed out and ridiculed. They’re slapped with labels such as “insane”, “naive”, “misfit”, or the best one yet - “selfish”. Selfish for living true to themselves. Selfish for hustling hard and making THEIR dreams a reality. Selfish for having the courage to put their own desires before society’s. What. A. Big. Yawn. I’m sleeping on y’all.

          And that’s precisely where celebs beat us to the finish line.

Look, these ‘acclaimed’ personalities bubble up because most are afraid to be the most bona fide and best version of themselves. It’s much easier to plop on the couch, switch on the TV, and say, “Man, I could do that any day. And prob better too,” while trying to pick up the remote control with your two toes because you’re too comfy to get up right now.

Your role models, idols, and mentors – the entire bulk of these people have a willpower and fortitude that you could only dream of. They’ve hunted down their fears and faced numerous challenges to follow their dreams. They’ve chosen to remain true to their authentic selves even under constant judgment. Sure, they were all called eccentrics and crazy at one point or another, but— ok no, (edit: wow, I had a mood swing here, lmao) they ARE eccentrics. They ARE crazy. Wild for wanting to change the world. Mad for inspiring millions of people. They’re lunatics who had the audacity to dream big, shed the shells of doubt and insecurity, and dared to live their best life.

Moral of the story is: Celebrities, pop stars, and internet personalities aren’t just people who got lucky and wealthy. They had a special kind of fearlessness and self-awareness to get here, qualities worth examining for yourself.

So here’s your mental workout for this post —

Go and ruminate deeply about what makes you love the people you admire. What do they have or do that you want as well? Is it their spontaneity? Their courage and faith? Or is it their kindness and humanity? Or perhaps most importantly, their passion? Have you fallen in love with their excitement to go to work or does your heart melt at the gratitude they show others?

Find out what it is that makes your eyes sparkle and the corners of your lips turn up when you look at them. It is easier to find what you’d love to do from what others are doing than brainstorm on an empty page. *Sally looks up from the corner* “And then what?” *Me, smiles, sensing the crazy philo rant coming ahead* “And then, Sally dear, you live.”

The next step is a big one. You do what THEY did. If they’re passionate, YOU learn to become devoted to your dreams as well. If they don’t give up, you NEVER STRAY either.

You see, we have it in all of us to become great. And we can start wherever we are. Jen Sincero, an author and coach, put it well: “It’s not your fault you’re fucked up, BUT it is your fault if you stay fucked up.” So start where you are. Start NOW. Follow the advice Will gave to Louisa in his departing letter in Me Before You (I’m a soppy romcom fanatic) – “There is a hunger in you, Clark. A fearlessness. You just buried it, like most people do… so live boldly. Push yourself. Don’t settle. Just live well. Just LIVE.”

Love, the world isn’t as scary as we’ve all grown up to think it is. Passion, kindness, faith and magic breathes among us. You’re not a loser, darling, scribble over that insult so it says “lover”, and heal, knowing that the world awfully, I give you my word of honor (still an 18th century woman, y’all), wants you to win.

And I? I’ll be right here waiting for the day when there’ll be no such demarcation of people as “winners” or “suckers”; just conquerors with big hearts and unbreakable faith, all ready to make that small life count. 

Go win.

The End Card That Rambles On And Plugs Even More

🌚🌝 Further reading? 🌝🌚

Last post: 13 Lessons from the 2018 Chapter

if you don’t love yourself, read this. please.

+ Want to request a post? Leave your request in my ask box & I’ll get back to you asap!

Thanks for dropping by! It was a pleasure having you around. If you wish to stick for a bit, I’d suggest picking one of the related posts mentioned above.

I post new posts bi-weekly, and my wins, & journal entries throughout the week, so follow me if you’re into conquering life, leaving a legacy and being the baddest badass you can possibly be. I’ll be your side pal, cheering you along.✨

And that was it, it’s a wrap! Martha, shut the cams, Henry, pause the audio, and Nandita, I know you’re pretending to be deaf, but Mom’s yelling something about doing the dishes. Better skip along.

And you, fellow conqueror? Keep slaying life, doing the work and making it count. I hope you’re well, stay strong and go conquer life. ✧

I’m sending you so much love, see you soon.

— Nandini 💌 (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

[shurisneakers]

espresso [6]

Summary: In which your best friend’s brother begins to set you up on dates when you mention that you haven’t been in a relationship in years, but things don’t go as expected.

Warning: swearing, near panic attacks, angst (?)

A/N: this is my entry for the exuberant @odinhson‘s writing challenge thank you to @samingtonwilson for beta-ing this for me

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Previous part- Part 5 || Espresso Masterlist

Becca: binch

Becca: if i don’t get my nourishment i will Wilt and Die

Becca: if i get out of this bed rn i will literally Cry

Becca: pls get me a coffee kind sir,,, i will be gr8ful

You: um

You: i’ll get it later ok lov u

Becca: wtf why

You: im going to meet fucky at the library

You: *bucky

Becca: youre going to meet my brother again?

You: yes he said he was studying there anyway so I could go meet him there

You: why

Becca: nothing it’s just

You: it’s just?

Becca: nvm it’s nothing go see that smelly bitch biscuit

Becca: but get me the drugs when u come back

_____________

The library was fairly populated for seven in the morning. And, though everyone looked like they could use at least a week’s worth of sleep, they trudged on.

Walking through the aisles, you let your fingers run over the spines of every book, relishing in the feel of their old leather under your touch. It didn’t take log before you found Bucky in the classics section, his back leaning against one of the bookshelves as he scanned the ones in front of him.

“Looking for something specific?” you asked quietly, making him snap his head towards you. He gave you a tired smile before reverting to his original state.

“The Catcher in the Rye. I wanted to borrow it again,” he sounded distant, like his mind was preoccupied.

“Again? You’ve read it more than once?”

“Three times,” he answered, eyes lighting up as he reached forward and grabbed an old, worn out book with a tearing paper cover. His fingers dusted it gently before he opened to the last page, his eyes skimming over the words.

“It’s your favourite book?”

 “I wouldn’t say it’s my favourite book, to be honest.” He flipped it, examining the cover from back to front. “Just the most memorable one. It sorta stuck with me throughout.”

“Why?” you asked curiously, watching as he flipped through the pages, seemingly searching for something within the lines.

“Don’t ask, it’s just gonna come off as pretentious as shit,” he chuckled, shking his head bemusedly, but you could detect a hint of something else behind his words. Bucky loved writing. He loved words. This book obviously meant a lot to him.

“I don’t know who hurt you Bucky Barnes, but I’d sure as fuck want to know why you love that book so much.” You heard a hush on the other side of the bookshelf, making you peep through the shelves only to catch the disapproving glare of the librarian who apparently caught you using unparliamentarily language.

“No one’s hurt me, it’s just-“ he paused to scratch the back of his neck awkwardly, letting his hand linger there. “I didn’t think anybody would care.”

“Oh.” You nudged his foot with yours, making him look at you in surprise. “Well, I care, so go ahead.”

He eyes never left yours and you could see a faint blush spread across his cheeks. Cute ass motherfucker.

Wait-

“Um, I guess it’s kinda because– the thing is– see, I–“ his mouth was moving at a speed much swifter than his brain, you could see it. It was like he had so much to say, almost too much. You gave him an encouraging smile as he took a deep breath to calm himself down before beginning again.

“I’ve read it three times. Every single time it means something different to me, you know? It’s like the words are familiar but everything’s changed,” he tried to convey what he was thinking, but it was clearly something hard to talk about because Bucky rarely ever ran out of words.

“‘Don’t ever tell anyone anything, if you do you start missing everybody.’,” he recited from memory finally showing you the page he stopped on. You shuffled closer to him, leaning on his shoulder to get a better look at the book in his hand. “It’s really hard for me to let others in. Everything becomes too intimate and when they decide to pack up and leave because they can’t handle my shit, it just—it hurts. It’s one of my favorite quotes.”

“It’s beautiful,” you said softly, as he looked at you for a few seconds in silence, not making an attempt to say anything.

“Right, so-“ he cleared his throat, pulling away to put the book back where it belonged. “His name’s Loki. He’s slightly difficult at first, but all he needs is just a little love and attention and he’s good to go.”

“Are we talking about a succulent or a person?” You remained where you were, feeling strangely lightheaded. Bucky glanced at the big clock overhead before returning to you.

“You’ll see.” He winked, shifting from one foot to another. “Now go! I have an hour to spend with calculus and you are going to be late for your first class.”

“You got a shift at the coffee shop today? I could come see you after,” you asked, facing him while walking backwards, your feet moving automatically.

“Not tonight, fam. I’m busy,” he said, looking down just for a second.

“Whatcha up to, barista boy? You got a hot date?” you teased him lightly, shoving your fists into your pockets, delaying your exit.

“I do, actually,” he fired back, making you freeze in your tracks.

“You’re going on a date?” you asked incredulously, your eyebrows shooting up in surprise.

“Yeah. Met an old friend of mine last week and we’re going out tonight.” He shrugged, giving you a half smile.

“Oh shits.” Well, that was new. It had been ages since Bucky had gone out with someone. “Use protection, ya nasty. Don’t want any mini versions of you running around.”

“Yeah, totally. We’re gonna go grab something to eat and fuck behind the church in my pickup truck.” He rolled his eyes, laughing to himself as you snorted.

“You’ve always been a huge part of the Jesus fandom,” you called out, grimacing when you heard the librarian hiss a ‘Quiet!’ at you again.

“Have fun, James. I’ll catch you later.” You shoved your hands further into your pockets, turning around and jogging out before he could get another word in.

_____________

You didn’t expect the goth version of Sabrina the Teenage Witch at the entrance of your building that evening, sporting a look of disdain with a hint of boredom, gracefully covered up with a smile. He was dressed to the nines in all black, which matched his dark hair and starkly contrasted his fair, almost too pale skin.

“You’re Y/N, I presume?” you could hear the remnants of an accent that wasn’t common to your area. He sounded tired but it looked like he was making an effort, so you weren’t completely put off.

You nodded, giving him a small smile. “Loki, right?”

“That’s me. Did James tell you where we’re going tonight?”

“Bucky doesn’t take the effort to tell me anything useful, so I’m pretty uninformed.” You followed him as he walked towards the gate of the compound, his fingers toying with the hem of his sweatshirt.

“That’s weird because I swear he asked me for everything ranging from my birth certificate to my social security number. He wouldn’t even give me your dorm address without it,” he said drily, his smile actually making him look really nice.

“Oh, wow.”

“Yeah, so there’s that carnival or a fair or something that’s come up. I figured we could go check it out.” He gestured to his car.

“Sounds fun.” You offered him a helpful smile, accepting his invitation without much hesitation. Maybe a distraction was exactly what you needed.

_____________

The whole fair was illuminated with lights from the different stalls and you could smell the calories in the air as kids ran around with cotton candy and popcorn and funnel cakes. The ratting of the roller coaster tracks and peals of laughter subconsciously made your heart lift and a grin settled on your face.

“What do you want to do first?” you asked loudly, trying to speak over the crowd.

“I don’t know. It’s so noisy. I wish everyone would just shut up.” He scrunched up his nose in disdain, leaving you to stare at him.

“How about grabbing something to eat first? I’m starving,” you suggested, earning a nod from him as you both made your way down to where most of the food stalls were.

Churros, funnel cake, caramel apples, popcorn and just about everything deep fried was put on display and it smelled pretty fucking great.

“D’you want to try out the hypertension or diabetes on a stick?” you laughed, eyeing everything separately.

“Uh—“ he paused, flinching. “I think I’m good.”

“Not even cotton candy?”

“Definitely not.” He shook his head, eyebrows crinkled in disgust.

“Well, okay, man.” You shrugged, not letting his preferences stop you from going ahead and buying the first thing that caught your eye and had your mouth watering.

He followed you silently through the entire process, only passing an occasional comment on how greasy it was or how unhealthy it was. You took it as a personal challenge to count how many times he nearly gagged.

“Rides or stalls?” You could already predict the kind of night you were in for and at this point you were too tired to not have fun with it.

“Rides, I suppose. We’re too old for the stalls.” He clicked his tongue, putting his hands into the pockets of his skinny jeans, staring disapprovingly at you.

“Oh, you are so right. Papa forbade me from playing games lest I fall victim to pride and immaturity. So pleased that throwing balls into holes is age restricted.” You threw some more popcorn into your mouth, feeling his stare burn into your face as you looked at him without any emotion.

“Didn’t you grow out of them after you turned, I don’t know, fifteen? How old are you?”

“You’re absolutely correct. We should hit the rides soon. I may not last fifteen minutes more. I’m practically decomposing as we speak.” You grinned at him making your way to the roller coaster, leaving him to match your pace.

“Roller coasters?” He called after you, rushing to catch up.

“Yes. Do you not like them?”

If this somehow greasier Tommy Wiseau said anything worse, you swore you literally would tear-

“I just think they’re too jumpy. And erratic. And noisy.”

You spun around wildly to face him, mouth dropping open. “What exactly did you expect from a fair, Lucky?”

“Loki.”

“Gesundheit. Have you ever been to a fair before or-“

You were just about to launch into a large rant when someone’s grip on your shoulder cut you off.

“Mario? What are you doing here?” The all-too-familiar voice made you instantly calm down as your best friend’s brother, your lord and savior, stepped near one of the most annoying people you could have met.

Which would be met with a more enthusiastic response had it not been for the presence of a girl with the most curly red hair accompanying him. She had her arm around his waist whilst his was secured around her shoulders and you immediately felt your words die down in your throat.

“Ah, James. We were just on our date.” He narrowed his eyes at you and you rolled yours at him, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Hey, man. I thought you were taking her to that restaurant down the road?” he questioned as the girl with him sent you a smile. Of course she’d have dimples.

“Thor told me this would better fit her,” Loki replied wearily.

“Wait a minute- you know Thor?”

“Know him?” Loki scoffed. “He’s my brother.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Given, we’re adopted siblings but I have to put up with his nonsense regardless.”

“Oh my fucking God, you’re the bitchy drama goth brother Thor talks about.”

“Bitchy drama goth— you’re lucky you got set up with me and not our sister.”

“I guess this date went super well?” Bucky piped up before you both clawed each other’s throats out.

“Simply wonderful.”

“Great.” He smiled awkwardly, before seemingly remembering who he had with him. “Oh shits, yeah—this is Dolores. Dot. Doll. I don’t know-“

“Dot is fine.” She smiled again, extending her hand in a shake. She had a flower tucked into her ear, matching the colour of her long skirt. Of course she did.

“This is Y/N, my sister’s best friend and that’s Loki,” Bucky introduced live-action Merida to you, as she gracefully replied with a small nod.

“You guys done?” Dot asked, switching her gaze between Loki and you.

“Yup, just finished. Loki was about to drop me off at my place. How about you?” You ignored your date altogether, instead focusing on how relaxed Bucky looked, none of his usual creases to be seen on his face. You liked it.

“I think we’ll hang around for a bit more. What do you say?” She looked up at him and Bucky nodded, a soft smile taking over his face.

“Sounds good to me. Text me when you get home, okay?” he reminded you, suddenly meeting your gaze. Your eyebrows furrowed at the intensity with which he was looking at you, but you gave him a thumbs up, agreeing.

“See ya tomorrow, Mario. Get home safe, please?” He waved one more time, as did Dolores, before they both made their way into the crowd, but not before Bucky threw you one more glance over his shoulder.

“Are you this hostile with every person your friends date or only James?” Loki sniggered from besides you, earning a sharp glare.

“One more word from you Severus and I will buy the oiliest piece of funnel cake and shove it down your throat.

But his words didn’t go over your head. You knew exactly what he was talking about and apparently it was so glaringly obvious that even others could see it.

Yikes.

Part 7

[until-theend-oftheline]

Contradictions

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Warnings: Nothing really     

Word Count: 1100ish

A/N: This is done for mine and Ida’s @sebs-potato 12 marvelous days of Christmas challenge and this is the first prompt: Baking for Christmas

This prompt for Wanda was requested by @becs-bunker and it’s an entry for my own December Special Quickie Challenge also.

Betaed by: @ireallylikemarvel-ok - thank you so much, dear.

***My fics are not to be saved nor posted on any other sites without my express written permission.***

December was your favorite time of year. You loved the contradictions of it. You loved how cold the world was, but how warm the houses and hearts of people around you were. The world outside the windows was getting dark, but on the other side of the windows, houses remained full of light.

Today the snow was coming down and most of the team were out assisting the NYPD with a major traffic accident. You knew they were all going to be cold and tired when they got home. You knew that even if assignments like this were a minor job for them, it always wore them down. Especially if lives were lost. You prayed that today that wasn’t the case, but regardless you wanted to give them a warm home to return too.

You had spent the entire day baking all of the team's favorite desserts fitting for the season. Christmas fudge for Sam. Peanut butter snowballs for Nat. Yule Log cake for Tony. Tiramisu pie for Clint. Chocolate peppermint cheesecake for Bucky. Pecan pie cheesecake for Steve and jelly filled donuts for Wanda.

Wanda. You smiled just thinking her name. It had been December when you had first met her a few years ago. She had walked into your small bakery looking cold and yet positively glowing. Her brown long hair had little flakes of snow lying in it. She looked soft and happy and when her eyes met yours, your heart had skipped a beat when she had smiled. Years later and after having lived with her for months, her smile and laughter still had the same effect on you.

You reminisced of your first meeting and the days that had followed. She had come into your bakery every day for a week after that until you had finally managed to gather up the courage to ask her out. Her smile when you did, would be forever in your mind and you hoped the frosting you were applying to the donut would invoke the same reaction from her.

“It smells like heaven in here!” Tony’s voice boomed through the top floor of the Avengers building where the common room was located and you quickly put down your spoon, rubbing your hands in your apron, rushing out of the kitchen just in time to stop Bucky, Sam, and Clint from coming in.

“Nope. Not until you clean yourself up,” you put your hands on Sam’s chest as he tried to peak over your shoulder.

“And if you don’t stop that I’ll save the fudge for another day,” you warned laughing as Sam lit up in a huge smile.

“You made fudge. We’ll all get fat with you living here Y/N,” Sam smiled kissing your cheek, backing up, shooting Bucky a glare when he chipped in.

“Well some of us are already getting there,” Bucky smirked, ducking out of the way as Sam tried to punch his right arm.

It took another few minutes but you finally managed to shoo all the Avengers off to their own rooms to get cleaned up and back into civilian clothes. You ordered them all but Wanda to meet you in the common room, which you had decorated for the occasion.

Wanda, you stopped, pulling her in for a kiss. She smiled at the questioning, worried look in your eyes. She knew you hated when she was on any kind of mission, but you also accepted it was part of who she was. Wanda was as strong and powerful as she was delicate and soft. The contradictions in her were your favorite thing about her, but it also made you worry about her.

“I’m fine. We’re all fine. It went well,” Wanda assured you. “Do you need help in the kitchen?” she asked, clearly trying to distract you, but you just shoved her out of the door with a small smile.

You put the finishing touches on the common area, lighting all the lights and filling the table with all the delicious treats just as the elevator dinged and Avengers started filling the room a new. You laughed and smiled as you watched them attack the table, with a stream of compliments washing your way.

Wanda was the only one who stayed back, wrapping her arms around your waist from behind and hugged herself against you. You smiled, breathing deeply as you revealed in the feel of her warm, soft body against your own. You closed your eyes, gathering up courage before turning around in her hold, pressing the small dessert box into her hands that you had been holding making her giggle.

“You wrapped mine? How come?” she asked, tilting her head studying you. You knew she could probably read your mind if she wanted too, but you also knew she never would without your consent.

“Because it’s special. You’re special,” you answered, placing your hands on each side of her face, kissing her softly before nodding towards the box in her hands. “Open it.”

Wanda looked, wiggling her nose a little as she always did when she was trying to figure out what you were up too. You laughed, giving the box a small push and all your nerves drained from your body. She was easily the strongest and most dangerous person in the room, and she was suspicious of her girlfriend's box of desserts.

“You’re so weird,” she muttered as you winked at her, but she couldn’t hide the blush in her cheeks or the smile in her eyes as she looked back down on the box. She gently and carefully removed the lit, gasping when she saw her favorite desserts inside with the words you had carefully scribbled across the top of the donut.

“Be my wife?”

You smiled as Wanda looked back up at you with teary eyes to see the matching rings you had fished out of your pocket.

“You’re serious?” she asked, neither of you noticed how Tony had caught onto what was going on and calling for the rest of the team's attention.  

“I have never been more serious in my life. I love you Wanda and I wanna share the rest of my life with you. Please be my wife?” you repeated the words on the donut. The box hit the ground and Wanda’s arms were around your neck before you could comprehend what was going on. It didn’t matter, not when she kissed you like you were her everything. You were still gasping for breath when you pulled back to push the ring onto her finger, allowing her to do the same to you. Gasps that turned into laughter as the team cheered around you and laughter that was interrupted by Wanda kissing you again. It was soft and passionate. Tender and all-consuming. It was filled with contradictions but it was perfect. Just like Wanda.     

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Wanda Maximoff Tag Team

@feelmyroarrrr @roxyspearing @scarlettsoldier @hellaqueerangelofthelord @danijimenezv @becs-bunker @blacktithe7 @avengerscompound @grace-for-sale @scarletlingeries @mizzezm @peterman-parker

[montanabarb]

Puppy Tales By Phoebe “Bug” Harriott

Log Entry #1: There is Evil at the bottom of my water bowl that I must uncover. I paw frantically, sometimes with all four paws, to no avail. I am hampered in my efforts by my Human who continues to fill the bowl with liquid. Does she think she can drown Evil? Silly Human. Evil cannot be vanquished by drowning. I will resume my efforts later, when the Human does not have her video recorder at hand.

Log Entry #2: The Big Dog is under the illusion that she is the boss of me. I find this amusing as I am skilled at subterfuge. Big Dog is not easily charmed, yet. For now I bide my time until I assert my rights as Top Dog.

Log Entry #3: The Old Red Dog has rebuffed my advances. At times he seems to invite play by running to his food bowl. Confusing. He avoids eye contact and seems remotely hostile to my existence. I am unafraid. He has no teeth.

Log Entry #4: There are two felines inhabiting our compound. Orange Nose Cat welcomed my advances and enjoys our rousing wrestling matches. She flicked her tail for my amusement but objected when I engaged. My feelings were hurt. Orange Nose Cat is a tease. But I still like her quite a lot. When I introduced myself to Black Nose Cat she got very big and made a noise that hurt my ears. Black Nose Cat is not any fun. She doesn’t even have a tail.

Log Entry #5: I have discovered a tasty delicacy I call Truffles. You have to snuffle in the gravel around the large horse machine parked by the barn to find them, but it’s worth it. The flavor is grain, grass, and horse butt. Such delicious nuggets!

Log Entry #6: I like shoes. That is all.

Log Entry #6 Update: I LOVE shoes. The Human puts them on her feet when we go outside, then takes them off when we go inside, then puts them on for outside, then off for inside. Sometimes she forgets to hide them from me. Oh, the chewiness. The crumbly little horse butt tasty bits on the bottom. I LOVE shoes even more than Big Girl Lamb Chop that lost its stuffing and squeaker.

Log Entry #7: Big Dog tells me to anticipate a visit from the Farrier. He leaves a buffet of deliciousness on the barn floor. The Human thinks she clears up all the tasty bits. BD says NOT to disabuse her of this belief. I must use stealth to retrieve each tasty bit and carry it to a secure location to savor. If I must barf, I should do so in a remote area when the Human is not looking. I anxiously await the coming of this Farrier. I think my charm is working on BD.

Log Entry #8: Fences are the funnest puzzles. So many choices: go under, go over, go through? My Human understands me. I am Aussie. I am Problem Solver. The Human keeps adding baling twine and wood scraps to make it even funner! Human is so attentive to me but she looks tired.

Log Entry #9: The Old Red Dog has finally succumbed to my charms. He gives me hugs but it is rather awkward because he sits on me and arches his back. I’m not convinced these are “good” touches.

Log Entry #10: I am sorry about that time liquid excrement shot out of my pucker hole in the middle of the night on the Male Human’s side of bed. I warned the Human that a fart was a message from Fort Gut to Fort Butt that General Turd was on the move.

Log Entry #11: The Human puts Rugs all over the hard floor. They are extremely effective at stopping a power slide. The edges are VERY tasty. Especially the one that my Human brought all the way from Morocco in 1992. It is handmade and has fringes! The Human forgot about the Rug rolled up under the bed in the guest room. It was hard work but I brought it out to her when she forgot to close the door. The Human was impressed but not grateful.

Log Entry #12: Orange Nose Cat is a two-timing hussy. I think she is ghosting me. Not a sniff, not a snuffle. Yesterday, I spied Orange Nose Cat slinking her fine, silky cat fur up against Old Red Dog. “Hey Mister <<purr>> gimme some sugar.” What?! I thought we had something special.

Log Entry #13: I met a new Human and was so excited stuff leaked out onto the floor. The Human moves very fast when that sort of thing happens. The Human checks her wrist to count her steps every day so I think she appreciates the motivation to increase her Activity.

Log Entry #14: The Human who made this house put chew sticks along the bottom of all the walls and around the doors. This brilliant Human must love dogs.

Log Entry #15: Pachelbel’s Canon in D was delicious, almost as yummy as worms. I only got a small taste of Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring and will have to report back at a later date if I can find it again. I am inhibited by a barrier around the big black music thing.

Log Entry #16: The Farrier visited yesterday! I only barfed once, at 1:16am. I tried to be discreet, per Big Dog’s instruction, but I was confined to this Cage thing the Human puts me in at bedtime.

Log Entry #17: I am mastering the Human’s language. “Come” and “Sit” are very tasty. This “Ouch” is confusing. I believe I have several names. In addition to “Phoebe” and “Bug,” I recognize “That’s Not a Chew Toy” and “Leave the Old Dog Alone.”

Log Entry #18: ONE minor excavation project and the Human insists on a bath.

Log Entry #19: The Human assumes I will just blindly “come” when offered a mere mystery meat morsel, sometimes just a fraction of a morsel. When I was just a kid I fell for that ruse. I am Aussie. I am smart. I will pretend I hear nothing and continue to snuffle for truffles.

Log Entry #20: The Human managed to catch me and shackle me with The Leash to go to School today. The teacher smells AMAZING! I think I love her more than Orange Nose Cat.

Log Entry #21: Every time I retrieve a pair of shoes (actually I prefer to enjoy one shoe at a time) the Human puts it immediately back in my closet. I suspect the Human is OCD. I think I’ll recommend she try a belly rub. They sure do settle me.

Log Entry #22: I hate to complain, but the Human does not refill my kiddy pool on a timely basis when I empty it. The Human calls it a water bowl.

Log Entry #23: This is confidential, but I pooped my pants in the car on the way to School. Drool dripped from my mouth. Very embarrassing but I scored lots of lap time the rest of the day.

Log Entry #24: As the new kid in the Pack, I believe I am being fed inferior vittles. I continually ask to eat the Big Dog’s chow, very insistently but politely of course, but am forever rebuffed. I wonder if I am malnourished?

Log Entry #25: Sometimes Big Dog acts like my mom and licks my face and ears. Like a spa day. Other times Big Dog does that arched back hugging thing right on my head and it just doesn’t seem right to me.

Log Entry #26: I poop on the floor and the Human steps in it once, maybe twice, ok three times, and you’d think the sky is falling. Old Red Dog drops a trail of turds from his pucker hole on the way to the door and the Human just picks it up and sprays stinky stuff. Sheesh. I did learn some new words that appear to be reserved for extreme situations.

Log Entry #27: The Human keeps the Son of Satan in a closet. SoS makes a very loud noise and tries to suck the fur right off my body! I try to disable SoS and frighten Him with my ferocious tone of voice. I suspect that Big Dog and Old Red Dog might have sold their souls to SoS because they are unaffected by his loud presence in my home.

Log Entry #28: I have been promoted to Apprentice Barn Chore Dog and awarded limited access to the horse stalls. Big Dog has full authority in the barn and unlimited access to the horse butt nuggets. BD tells me to be patient and my time will come. For now, I relish the delightful aroma that emanates from BD’s pucker hole after a morning of butt nuggets.

Log Entry #29: The Human keeps asking, “Where’s my left slipper, Bug?” I need more information, Human. Is that the one without the heel or the one without an insole?

Log Entry #30: Major discovery! If I chomp on Mr. Monkey, Moo Cow, and Weanie Squeakee just right, they sing a delightful soprano song. I can carry the melody all around the house!

[oohaw94]

Mind if we have a discussion?

It has been awhile since I have posted anything original here on Tumblr but today is that day!

Most people know I do not talk about my father much. In my opinion it's hard to be super proud of a guy who gave his son multiple concussions and bloody noses between the years of 8,9 and 10 in the course of disciplining him mostly for trivial things. With that said, he did give me two things that I have carried forward in life. Number one: An appreciation for the sport of baseball which bloomed into a full-fledged obsession with softball later in life. Number two: He told me, no matter how smart you think you are, there is ALWAYS someone who knows more.

The second one more so than the first is especially important I think. Don't get me wrong, softball is a good time and my only real form of exercise these days but that second one has so many more applications. Any one who has a social media account has been exposed or over-exposed to the opinions of those around them. There is an old adage about the corrolation between opinions and a certain part of the lower human anatomy that notes everyone has both and they both stink. So for what it is worth, I don't mind hearing other people's opinions. Unfortunately, everyone is so caught up in having to be right all the time because to be wrong means being shunned by the herd and having to live in exile with leperous wildebeasts for the remainder of your days apparently.

I'm not scared to be wrong or to fail. Some of the most fundamental learning comes from being wrong. When I was 10 or 11, I had a bike. Nothing fancy, just a red bike with handle bars, a seat, hand brakes and two tires. I got pretty cocky when riding the trails around our house in Dittmer, MO. Popping over logs and anticipating the slide of a hill rounding into the turn of each trail and such. But one fall day when the leaves were off the trees and clogging the trails, I took off pedaling into the woods. In the trees there were birds and squirrels noting my progress but keeping their distance. I got to a section of trail that I had not ridden in awhile. In addition to the leaves, there were branches downed from summer storms and overgrown dead weeds. Being young and feeling invincible, I proceeded through the section without clearing the debris first. Most of the branches were rotten and the weeds posed no real impedence so I crunched my way through easily. Farther along the trail was more of the same with this part being a bit more of a downhill incline. So I puffed out my chest (not really) and flew along with high confidence. This is where the universe put down the magazine it was flipping through and was like: let me give you a tiny life lesson right now.

Up to this point in the ride, I was getting by even though a few of the decisions were questionable. Halfway down the incline I jounced over a not so rotten branch that flicked up an unseen string of rusted barbed wire that caught on my shoe lace. The next few seconds saw me go flying diagonally over the handle bars and land on some rough gravelly ground, shoulder and face first. My takeaways from the experience: #1 OUCH. #2 Picking gravel out of your chin is not a great feeling. #3 I should've known better.

What is the point of this tidbit from my youth? Simple, use your brain. I knew that riding over the branches and whatnot on the flat ground had caused some unplanned movement and a few precarious seconds where I was not in control. But from the outcome, I learned to avoid making that same mistake again. Was it a dumba$$ moment on my part? Sure. I didn't learn that from a book, I learned from the experience. Also I could've probably got there by using some common sense but hindsight as they say is 20/20.

In my life I have met and interacted with many, many people. Some only in a virtual context but still a large portion have been in person. Through these conversations and sharing of words and ideas I have gotten different perspectives and opinions thrust upon me. Some clinically presented and some passionately expressed in ALL CAPS! Not every one who has made an opposing point or argument to me has changed my opinion on a topic. But, actually listening to them, I got at least a sense of where they garnered their information from and how invested they were in the idea(s) expressed. Most people lock into their beliefs (non-religious) on politics, sports, traffic, certain types of jobs, ethnic groups, books, social media, divorce, etc and there is no budging them. Which is fine. They have collected the pertinent information to support why they are pro or anti on each. And here's a little secret that most people should know but don't. You aren't going to change their minds. Simply put you are not. Through reading, social contact or experience those things are locked down and will not be swayed in their minds. So save your breath or typing.

I am not saying I'm better than anyone. I'm just not. Am I more receptive? Perhaps. But the whole concept of being better than someone is pompous and ludacris. Put me on a dessert island and I could probably survive but in the end I'm probably closer to the character Tom Hanks portrayed in Castaway: scruffy and looking a little caveman-ish. Take someone else to that same island and they probably pimp that (stuff) out. Build themselves a log cabin with a natural jaccuzzi. Make a little alley for coconut skeeball or bowling. Now tying this back to what my father was saying: everyone has blind spots in their knowledge, places where their pool of knowledge is as deep as an $8 kiddie pool at Walmart. There is no one alive roaming this Earth or that has ever roamed this Earth who knows everything. Think you are the ultimate authority on Superman...guess what someone else knows more (see Stan Lee). Think you know every single element related to the Star Trek universe...nope, try again. You can solve a Rubik's Cube in 13 seconds? Someone knows how to do it in 10 seconds. But in those same scenarios the Superman expert may not be able to hang and mud a roomful of drywall. The Star Trekkie could be lost trying to make lasgna from scratch. And the Robik's Cube master would most likely would not be able to throw a knuckleball. With this on the table, let's all take a collective breath and listen to what the other person has to say with an open mind. No one should be asking anyone to mindlessly bow to anyone person's belief structure or logic process. In truth it may flat out be wrong for the other person based on home life, religion, diet, conditioning and pet preference.

Through my friends and family I've learned how to love, to hate, to be compassionate, to empathize, to betray, to be selfish, to be selfless and most of all how to stay humble. I do not see myself achieving the pinnacle of any given field or being the yardstick of what a softball player should be. However, by using my logical process, life experiences and Google, I think I can at least come across as not a totally floundering moron (most days). People tend to take themselves waaaaaay too seriously. Not everything in today's existence is a competition or life and death for that matter. If more people would allow their ideas to be questioned, I think they would grow more as a person. As a personal philosophy, I try to learn something new every day. It may be insignificant, it may be something taught to me by a child but learning keeps life interesting. Otherwise you are stuck listening to the same Hair Metal hits of the 80's. Don't get me wrong, there are some great songs there but if that is the only pool of music you draw from then over time those songs will grow stale and even those will lose their fun qualities.

Now, try to hop on one foot for a minute with your eyes closed. Google your last name and read the 31st search entry. Memorize the entire emsemble of a person you saw on lunch. Count the parking spaces at Kohl's. Think of how many Adele songs are actually good (spoiler alert: zero). Google map the cities you have traveled to and see which one is farthest. Walk into a business, pose like a superhero for four seconds then turn around and walk out. Ask a friend to name something they associate with you. Say "Taco Cat" forwards and backwards several times and then try to figure out if you ended up with the forwards or backwards format.

Through the silly we can relax and allow ourselves to be open to new ideas and learn new things. I'm not saying a joke or a comedian's bit will lead to us building a walking bridge to the moon, but someone else's bit of logic or OCD process may inspire a leap in a new direction. So for everyone calling down the Hellfire and brimstrone for the Trump supporters or the people who feel personally oppressed by a cartoon indian or are just offended by the sun coming up: I say chill. Others are entitled to their opinions and at the end of the day that's mostly what it boils down to - opinions. Save your expert witnesses, your filing cabinets of documents and the YouTube clip of Jesus backing your point of view. If you are not willing to allow the other person  an open, non-hostile forum to discuss and probably eventually break off the conversation without recrimminations, then why bother?

The world as we know it will still continue to evolve. The iPhone 7 world as we know it is not the finished product. Great minds around the world will continue to shape it and lead the human race in directions no one has even dreamed of yet. Just wait and see. And those people who are leading, are doing so based on being open to new ideas and asking, "OK. What if..."

Everyone have a fantastic day. Please read my Blog (Wordpress: Scott Latta Blog), find me on Twitter (@oohaw94), follow along on Facebook (Scott.Latta.7), listen to me and two of my softball friends on Podbean (SportsStalkers) and my own little stupid niche of butthurt on Podbean as well (scottlatta). If you would like drop me an email to: scottlatta@gmail.com.

Peace.

[therez]

4 juillet 2020, 0522

Hi there,

So I just noticed something, which I thought would be pertinent to share with you. If you read my previous entries you probably think I’m the most miserable and sorry-for-herself person out there. But you know what, my life is no that awful. The thing is, the bad things have a tendency on outweighting the good because we don’t acknowledge the good moments in our lives, we mistake the good ones for normal ones so we don’t look back on them thankful and smiling. Also, I guess it’s because I don’t think to log on here when I’m having a good day or an okay day because there is nothing in particular that I have to say. But that doesn’t mean that that day doesn’t count or that it was shit. Because you know what, I do have a lot of good days despite the bad ones and I tend to forget about them because I’m overwhelmed of the crap feeling the shitty days cause. Take this as a reminder to see the good in every situation, in every day. At the end of each day, you should take the time to ask yourself, what am I proud of today? What happened that made me happy of that made me crack a grin. Because the truth is, that’s the only thing that’ll get you through the tough times. Indeed, tough days, months, years happen, all the time. It’s impossible to ignore them because they’re omnipresent, they make everything arond you feel so meaningless as if everything you do was a waste of time. So in the long run, the only thing you can do is try to survive them in once piece, because the only way out is through. Crying and complaining that your situation’s the worst is always an option, but will it really help it get better? I agree that for the first couple of days, it’s OK to cry, it can also feel like a relief (yes boys, I swear crying helps and no it does not mean you are weak, on the contrairy, it proves you are strong because you enabled yourslef to feel so you rendered youself likely to feel the worst pain in the world that is heartbreak). And sometimes, I think it’s necessary to be sad and to pity yourself for a while, because that’s the only way you’ll be able to get back up ten times stronger than you were before. It’s the only way you’ll convince yourself that your world did not stop spinning, it was just you who stopped moving forward for a while. Because of course, falling is perfectly fine, it happens to everyone, but the thing that isn’t OK is not getting back up. 

That being said, what I was trying to say was that yes, there are bad days, but they will end. Like j.d.b. said, right now isn’t always. And don’t underestimate the good moments, take the time to think about them and let them hold you and lull you through the bad ones. Because whatever you may think, you are worth it, you are worth being happy but you only can make that happen because happiness comes from within, not from others. Take the time to see the good in every situation, you won’t regret it. 

As you may or may not know (you’d know if you read my last entry), I just got out like five days ago, of a two year relationship with Ju and believe it or not, I’m fine, really. I’m managing. I’m just sad that I lost a friend more that I am that I lost a lover. I’m also scared that I’ll never love again because it’s impossble that I’ll ever get that lucky ever again. I’m afraid no one will ever be as good to me as he was. Because don’t get me wrong, movie love doesn’t exist, not in the real world. That’s not me being a sad-fuck, that’s just me being the realistic person that I am. 

[mbaljeetsingh]

Building an Ionic Fitness App with iOS HealthKit Integration

If you want to create the next killer lifestyle fitness app, chances are high you want to log your measurements into the official Health app on iOS.

With the help of a Cordova plugin we can easily access the health data of a user to read and write the information our app needs.

In this tutorial we will read and set the height of a user, check his 24 hour step count (I know it’s embarrassing sometimes) and also log a specific type of workout to the iOS Health app.

The hardest part is actually figuring out which permissions you need and what parameters we need to pass to the health app, but we will go through all of it step by step.

Setting up our HealthKit App

First of all we need the Cordova plugin and the according Ionic native plugin to access the iOS Health app. There is another package which tries to cover both iOS and Android behaviour which I haven’t tested so far, perhaps you have some experience with it?

Anyway, we start our app and setup the plugin so go ahead and run:

ionic start devdacticHealth blank cd devdacticHealth ionic cordova plugin add com.telerik.plugins.healthkit npm install --save @ionic-native/health-kit

Like always we need to import it to our module as well, so open your src/app/app.moudle.ts and insert:

import { BrowserModule } from '@angular/platform-browser'; import { ErrorHandler, NgModule } from '@angular/core'; import { IonicApp, IonicErrorHandler, IonicModule } from 'ionic-angular'; import { SplashScreen } from '@ionic-native/splash-screen'; import { StatusBar } from '@ionic-native/status-bar'; import { MyApp } from './app.component'; import { HomePage } from '../pages/home/home'; import { HealthKit } from '@ionic-native/health-kit'; @NgModule({ declarations: [ MyApp, HomePage ], imports: [ BrowserModule, IonicModule.forRoot(MyApp) ], bootstrap: [IonicApp], entryComponents: [ MyApp, HomePage ], providers: [ StatusBar, SplashScreen, {provide: ErrorHandler, useClass: IonicErrorHandler}, HealthKit ] }) export class AppModule {}

Also, when you build your app through Xcode you have to make sure that the Capabilities for HealthKit are enabled like in the image below!

Reading and Writing HealthKit Data

Now we got the basics and can start to code the actual app. Our view is quite unspectacular, we need an input to set our height and 2 more fields that will be readonly to show some data.

We will also craft a list of cards for all the workouts we get back from the Health app below, but this list might be empty in the beginning for your so don’t worry.

For now open your src/pages/home/home.html and change it to:

<ion-header> <ion-navbar> <ion-title> Devdactic Health </ion-title> </ion-navbar> </ion-header> <ion-content> <ion-item> <ion-label stacked>Set Height</ion-label> <ion-input type="text" [(ngModel)]="height" placeholder="My Height today (in cm)"></ion-input> </ion-item> <ion-item> <ion-label stacked>Current Height</ion-label> <ion-input type="text" [(ngModel)]="currentHeight" readonly></ion-input> </ion-item> <ion-item> <ion-label stacked>Steps last 24h</ion-label> <ion-input type="text" [(ngModel)]="stepcount" readonly></ion-input> </ion-item> <button ion-button full (click)="saveHeight()">Set Height</button> <button ion-button full (click)="saveWorkout()">Set a Workout</button> <ion-list> <ion-card *ngFor="let workout of workouts"> <ion-card-header></ion-card-header> <ion-card-content> <p>Activity: </p> <p>Duration: min</p> <p>Date: </p> <p>Distance: miles</p> </ion-card-content> </ion-card> </ion-list> </ion-content>

Now we get to the meat of the HealthKit integration.

In our example we will ask for all the permissions we need upfront. You don’t have to do this and you can wait until you use a call to HealthKit, but if you request different things the pop-up might come up multiple times which can be quite annoying.

In our case we will only see this pop-up once asking for all the needed permissions

You can look through the official Apple documentation for some more general information and the names of the permissions which you might need.

I did not find everything so easy there, so you can see all available identifiers on the header file of this repo, which is way easier than going through all the Apple documentation!

Ok enough on permissions, actually setting our height is just one simple call with the new value as amount and also the unit (in our case “cm”).

Setting a workout requires a bit bigger object which we construct upfront. Of course you need to log some information for the workout, but once you got this object the call is again just one simple line!

For now open your src/pages/home/home.ts and insert:

import { HealthKit, HealthKitOptions } from '@ionic-native/health-kit'; import { Component } from '@angular/core'; import { NavController, Platform } from 'ionic-angular'; @Component({ selector: 'page-home', templateUrl: 'home.html' }) export class HomePage { height: number; currentHeight = 'No Data'; stepcount = 'No Data'; workouts = []; constructor(private healthKit: HealthKit, private plt: Platform) { this.plt.ready().then(() => { this.healthKit.available().then(available => { if (available) { // Request all permissions up front if you like to var options: HealthKitOptions = { readTypes: ['HKQuantityTypeIdentifierHeight', 'HKQuantityTypeIdentifierStepCount', 'HKWorkoutTypeIdentifier', 'HKQuantityTypeIdentifierActiveEnergyBurned', 'HKQuantityTypeIdentifierDistanceCycling'], writeTypes: ['HKQuantityTypeIdentifierHeight', 'HKWorkoutTypeIdentifier', 'HKQuantityTypeIdentifierActiveEnergyBurned', 'HKQuantityTypeIdentifierDistanceCycling'] } this.healthKit.requestAuthorization(options).then(_ => { this.loadHealthData(); }) } }); }); } // Save a new height saveHeight() { this.healthKit.saveHeight({ unit: 'cm', amount: this.height }).then(_ => { this.height = null; this.loadHealthData(); }) } // Save a new dummy workout saveWorkout() { let workout = { 'activityType': 'HKWorkoutActivityTypeCycling', 'quantityType': 'HKQuantityTypeIdentifierDistanceCycling', 'startDate': new Date(), // now 'endDate': null, // not needed when using duration 'duration': 6000, //in seconds 'energy': 400, // 'energyUnit': 'kcal', // J|cal|kcal 'distance': 5, // optional 'distanceUnit': 'km' } this.healthKit.saveWorkout(workout).then(res => { this.loadHealthData(); }) } // Reload all our data loadHealthData() { this.healthKit.readHeight({ unit: 'cm' }).then(val => { this.currentHeight = val.value; }, err => { console.log('No height: ', err); }); var stepOptions = { startDate: new Date(new Date().getTime() - 24 * 60 * 60 * 1000), endDate: new Date(), sampleType: 'HKQuantityTypeIdentifierStepCount', unit: 'count' } this.healthKit.querySampleType(stepOptions).then(data => { let stepSum = data.reduce((a, b) => a + b.quantity, 0); this.stepcount = stepSum; }, err => { console.log('No steps: ', err); }); this.healthKit.findWorkouts().then(data => { this.workouts = data; }, err => { console.log('no workouts: ', err); // Sometimes the result comes in here, very strange. this.workouts = err; }); } }

The final function we haven’t touched yet is the one that reloads our data whenever we update something or inside the constructor.

Again, some data can be received quite simple like the height here. For the step count we need to create a SampleType query with a timeframe, the units and the actual sample type which is HKQuantityTypeIdentifierStepCount for the user step count.

Also, we get back an array of step entries so we need to sum up this array to get to our final step count!

Finally loading the workouts is just one call, but in my example I got the actual array data inside the error block back. I haven’t figured out why this happens, perhaps just a problem on my side but that’s why I also set the workouts array inside the error completion block.

All of data lives of course not only inside our app, you can open your Health app on the device and check the metrics we have changed like the health or the workouts of a user. You will find that there is a new workout added which will look somehow like this:

So now our data is persisted inside the official Health app on the device of a user!

Conclusion

A “super native” functionality like HealthKit integration can be accessed quite easily through Ionic and allows us to build fitness apps that talk directly with the core metrics of a users device!

To make the approach even more cross-platform we need to evaluate the plugin which covers Android as well, but perhaps anyone has already given that one a try?

You can also find a video version of this article below.

Happy Coding, Simon

The post Building an Ionic Fitness App with iOS HealthKit Integration appeared first on Devdactic.

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[hlcyncyx]

2 entries, 1 post-logged (long post)

today my friend sat down to me just before class started, looked me in the eyes and said "i was talking to my friend about lit and arts in general. why aren't you taking e lit?" and to this friend i had never mentioned anything about lit before. 

then ensued the long conversation over break about why i didn't take lit and it was different because for once it wasn't about why i took psych. we concluded that there really wasn't a reason why, some things just end up like that. 

"ok i just felt prompted to tell you that you’d make a very good vessel for what lit tackles through acads, and that we need people who are able to learn about these mindsets without being completely influenced by the systems it's being communicated through (in my head: wat. we spoke 5 times. maybe more. slightly.) - i mean psych, lit, sociology. absorbing content is easy-" 

 "it's not-" 

*talks over me* "but knowing what and how things are influencing you, and communicating them clearly to other people is not easy.”

“i don’t-”

“i think we tend to underestimate what grace gives to us just because we always had it. are you doing well in psych?" 

"sharing what you have before you even do your masters, the passion and love that you have for lit and how it affects others, i think it'll add value to a lot of lives. we need these conversations." i wouldn't type myself as an academic, or as a content creator. but i would type myself as a communicator - a very traumatised one sure, but still. 

been having a lot of these convos lately, which is why i feel like posting about them, from the least of them all- weiting. "how can you be so selective about who you share your thoughts with? (we were talking about langleav and the effects of her writing going from tumblr to mainstream audiences) don't you think they're important?" (i do.) "don't you think you should share them with as many people as possible even if they don't want to hear, especially if not knowing will cost them?" (i don't believe in that, in shoving opinions down people's throats or fighting to convince them of something. if they don’t want to get it, they won’t.) "but not knowing could hurt them!" (again, if they don’t want to get it, they won’t. i also have a pet peeve for narrow minded assholes. and so asides from a very select few people that i feel i rly need to MAKE them see, like u, c, s, i don't care. and things affect different people in different ways. some people don’t need to hear what others need to. but if ppl were rly bothered tho, all they need to do is ask. i will share. it’s what i’ve been doing for like, life. i guess the only difference is how much i share.) "and what does that depend on?" (on how much i think they can handle. friendly reminder: NMA.) 

i miss the academic rigour of writing a lit paper instead of my quarter-hearted rambles on here after reading a book, and i don't want the critical readings on odyssey/genesis/john to be the highest point in my lit career tbvh. (i miss dr yeoh.) but i think the lesson goes beyond that. i think it goes beyond learning about yourself to learning what you have been given. and i think i’ve been running from what i’ve been given for a very long time - i don't even dare to mention it. i’m scared? of my own gifts that God’s given to me? because i don’t know how to use it? i’m scared of using it wrongly??? /facepalm gonna just use the ones i’m comfortable with first i guess.

(she tells me about her dying friend who took NTU lit and who shared her love for the written word and its effects all the way till her last breath. I think about what life could've been if i took up NTU's offer. I think about what the dean had said. I think about what could've been if i chose to major in lit instead. i think about a graveyard of missed opportunities- not just lit. people, too. i think about what kind of conversations i would be having now. “positive psych is the best thing that happened to me in my entire uni life. this one module made all the other abnormal, disorder, trauma psych worth it, and balanced out grp dynamics & human performance.” “is it you having cognitive dissonance right now?” “eh, PTSD etiology is like that one meh.” “i’m pretty sure poker doesn’t count as a ritual.” “so just to clarify this doesn’t involve religious theology right, i confused ah.” “oh my god kids are so dumb.” “omg we developed so fast?!” “marriage is a nightmare” “divorce is a nightmare” “drug use is a nightmare” “depression is a nightmare” “anxiety sucks” “CBT, CBT, CBT. CBT everything also can use right!” “dude, what kind of attachment did you have to your main caregiver?” “can we use this to manipulate people?” “why are our brain neurons like that” “so we imitate more than monkeys do? wtf these mirror cells!!!!” “is anger justifiable?” “what are emotions? when do they become functional?” “should a disorder result in lighter law sentences?” “we are. truly. what we think.” looking back, I STUDIED A SHITLOAD FOR PSYCH but what do i even remember. how much content did i even cram omg.) 

but this is not a post about lit or psych, even though i’m pretty much rambling about lit & psych at this point. this is a post about learning, and i’d like to remind myself of that. i don’t regret taking psych, because without the courses i wouldn’t search it on my own. if i took lit, it’d have been lit everywhere all day err day. i might have gotten sick of it. psych gives lit dimension. it might seem weird to reblog quotes from a dead person, but she inspired me a little, and so i will. 

i saw prof camilo today and he did a double-take, but i had my “don’t talk 2 me” face on and i REGRET because he SINGLE HANDEDLY saved my GPA on a mod i DIDN’T EVEN LIKE. 

post-logged post 

in the spirit of vday i'd like to share a v impt lesson some1 taught me over drinkz 

it's more impt to find someone interested in u than to find someone interested in the things u r interested in

bc if they're interested in u they'll take interest in what u're interested in & probably join u tho it's x necessary in the r/s 

case in point: (classified) 

 that's all i thought it was revelationary (this is not an actual word) 💕