#creating healthy relationships

[mueritos]

im glad that people r clowning on that detrans person who went viral on twitter for blaming trans people/hrt for his baldness and normal male genes, but i really hope this can at least wake up some transmasculine people, ESPECIALLY white transmasculine people.

many BIPOC transmasc people already have standards of whiteness imposed onto us, but we do not cry wolf when our genetics cause the male secondary characteristics that they do. many of us are hairy, many of us have thick and coarse hair, some of us get extremely deep voices, etc and etc. BIPOC transmascs already have to deal with the masculinization of our bodies even before HRT because many of us cannot achieve white standards of womanhood. it is just also incredibly ignorant to shed tears over normal secondary sex characteristics that everyone on HRT are informed about. Just because you have male pattern baldness, an adams apple, and a low voice doesn’t mean you suddenly lose your worth as human being. white transmascs who successfully performed white femininity and desperately still cling onto it or try to be a hairless pretty twink after HRT,,,PLEASE understand that you cannot control the way HRT reacts to your body. You cannot complain about not looking like a beautiful twink because you cannot control how your genetics and HRT will masculinize your body. Like holy fuck. 

there is definitely a time and a space for detrans people to discuss their journeys. Many of them don’t regret HRT, many of them just simply realized they don’t need to be binary passing. But when we center detrans experiences as the reason why HRT needs to be stopped, why trans people are making “serious mistakes” to their bodies...yea I dont care how much you hate yourself. You do not need to make your insecurities everybody elses problem.

I genuinely hope this makes some white transmasc people realize that its okay to look like a normal dude. Some of us feel euphoric by the male pattern baldness. Some of us love our hairy arms and legs. Some of us love being men. Some of us love loving men. Some of us love having friendships with men. There is nothing wrong with being a man. The biological essentialism of vagina=good and penis=bad is not just a gender issue, it’s a race issue as well. These ideas are inherent to whiteness; when you say you distrust all men, when you say they all deserve to die...this means ALL men...Black men, queer men, transmen, Asian men, Latino men, Indigenous men, men who are disabled, men who are GNC, lesbians who are men, butches....

Having a caution toward men or male presenting people because of patriarchy, sexism, and misogyny? Fine. Hating them, vilifying them, viewing them as inherently predatory and evil? No. Thanks for making us feel like we’re all dangerous, that definitely does nothing to the male pysche, and thanks for conveying that anyone with a vagina is inherently good.

god. destroy white ideas of gender and sexuality already. you guys are just so damn annoying. we cannot get an ounce of solidarity because of you guys.

[dykedvonte]

thinking abt what you said with house viewing Benny as a son and I’m obsessed. Like. The man spent most of his life before the war presumably alone, and then after the bombs fell he was alone again, save for AI he himself devised. Then he decides to pull in some Tribes, and one kid shows promise! So sure, treat him well, train him, groom him to be his protege, then next thing you know UH OH he’s got developing paternal feelings towards this guy. Wanting some semblance of a family when the time has long since passed, yet fostering that feeling all the same seems so accurate for him. Benny meanwhile only views him as a boss, and not a particularly good one at that. makes me wonder how House must’ve felt when he found out about Bennys plans

I view it as House blames only himself for this, cause he kind of does in canon (strap in this is a long one).

When reflecting on the issue of Benny, House chastises himself first and foremost for not acting quickly enough when it comes to priming Benny. He describes Benny as being ambitious, ruthless and capable; compliments coming from a man like House. House has an ego and while he is logical enough to understand there was never any evidence Benny saw him as a father-figure, he lacks the humility to admit he let his own views on his relationship with Benny blind him to the activities happening behind the scenes.

I doubt that House was as aware as he makes out about what Benny was doing, he knew early on but certainly not early enough to stop Benny from hacking and obtaining a securitron along with getting the chip in the first place. I take it he was distracted by all the possibilities he was calculating of Vegas' success and growth with him steering and Benny as the new figure head, not because of any normal affection for Benny but the admiration of his capabilities. It's to be noted that House believed menial incentives (likely caps, booze, basic needs, etc..) were enough to keep Benny tame like the other Chairmen but, as evidenced by the Omertas and Mortimer in the WGS, this is not enough when it comes to more driven Vegas citizens. This implies he still undervalued Benny and created a space in which Benny felt the need to rebel.

House in my eyes is not sentimental in the traditional sense. I can imagine his pride was severely scorned as someone he certainly deemed dumber than him was, albeit only for a little, able to out-gambit him. It would definitely hit home seeing how his brother also betrayed him but I feel like that's why he's so apathetic when he tells the Courier to do as they see fit with Benny. I doubt the way he terrorized his brother brought him any emotional satisfaction other than a "Now who's in charge!" ego boost. Putting that same emotional intensity towards Benny isn't worth it because who does it benefit? Wasted time, wasted planning, and most importantly wasted potential are all he gets from continuing to be hands-on with Benny. I say the closest example is not being able to throw out old toys due to the memories attached but knowing it's necessary as they are broken or just taking up space for new ones, and then asking someone else to do it so you don't need to get caught up in the feelings of throwing something you put so much effort into. It's not Benny House cares about in my mind, not in a way that sounds healthy to any non-emotionally constipated individual, but what he could've represented for him, which is why he so quickly offers the same position to the Courier.

As for Benny's view on all of this, it was a long time coming. Benny didn't and doesn't believe House is a completely shitty boss. He admires what he's been shown and admits House knows how to run the strip, but disagrees with the directions. Ideologically, House is an anarcho-capitalist while Benny is just an anarchist. House wants to run the strip to profit, though money is not what he's concerned with being rich with anymore. Benny wants a free state that he wishes to become a place for the people, except for the Chairmen who would be on top (I like to remind people that Benny's motives were selfish but not for personal gain/power as was it for the people he actually saw as family). Benny was never looking for a father but a future. He was not interested in being adopted, or having the chairmen adopted, as bigger names still overshadowed in House's legacy.

Truly, it's easiest to summarize as House feeling strongly and thinking positively enough of Benny to start incorporating him into the future of Vegas (a huge honor actually) while Benny was so disillusioned by House's ego and indifference that he thought the only way Vegas could be the future is with House gone.

[hallwyeoo]

Bingge is such a child. He’s so reactive and angry and he chases after things he THINKS will make him happy, instead of actually resolving his issues. He’s unable to take criticism, constantly writhing and clawing for love, but refuses to make himself better for other people. He refuses to trust and genuinely connect with others and then he acts all scorned and wronged when no one actually likes him. Someone give him a Shen Yuan but also is that fair to Shen Yuan??? Does someone have to allow themselves to suffer disrespect and abuse to alleviate his pain??? Do they have to let him be increasingly horrible to them to “test” their love or whatever?? Luo Bingge wants love, but thinks that love is only attainable with power. He refuses to be vulnerable. God I love him but he’s so fucked up. Him and Shen Jiu are the same. They’re so different. They both deserved better. They both suffered.

[edoro]

it’s so funny when i see people talking about Hunter’s like, latent genetic big brother instincts he inherited from Caleb, and how he must be sooo good at nurturing and caring for younger kids because of Caleb

and meanwhile we literally see how The Kid Caleb Cared For turned out, and he’s an extremely emotionally unstable abusive genocidal monster who never got over his codependent obsession with Caleb and has spent the last 300 years using forbidden necromancy to try and play Happy Families with a series of disposable Caleb-clones

like i think Caleb did the best that a kid in that position could possibly be expected to do when responsible for raising a younger sibling with no help or support that way and i don’t blame Caleb for wanting to get the fuck away from Gravesfield asap at all or think that like, any mistakes Caleb might have made raising Philip mean that Philip’s actions as an adult aren’t his own responsibility

but like... you don’t... act that way if you have a stable, functional, safe upbringing. lmao.

[bandzboy]

very much this... cr.

[0-b-s-3-s-s-3-d]

i’ve been scrolling through yandere and obsessive love posts to kinda cope, but i noticed that most don’t relate to me. like. i could never hurt my darling. as long as they’re happy and they won’t leave, im okay. i just will snap the neck of anybody that dares touch a hair on their precious head, ya know?

[ruerock]

sometimes i think of how love has a huge impact on everything we create and how important it is (even if from time to time) to let yourself love your art just because it exists, not from a point of view of if it’s "enough” and following every single art critique. every art piece that comes from a place of love whether its by you or by someone else - it will always be good art

[connectionterminated13]

Hello everyone I have created a new crack Friendship! I think Vanessa Afton and John should be friends.. Vanessa needs a nice boring milk toast man to make her life better...

[canonslut]

appreciation post for everyone who is doing the work in becoming comfortable and empowered in their sexuality. everyone who is learning how to embrace their sexual nature and see themselves as a sexual being. it's work that we don't always talk about doing. i'm proud of you. i hope you get where you wanna be and you find comfort in this part of yourself.

[sableeira]

does attaching your self worth to the things you create ever go away or do I have to work on creating a healthy relationship to the things I create on my own?

[philsmeatylegss]

*Types into search bar*

“How to still be an active fan of a creator when previously being an obsessive fan for most of your teens because they were one of the few good things keeping you from killing yourself in middle school so now trying to become a more casual fan feels like a betrayal and I cannot get into new fandoms because the high I got in middle school from the extreme emotion switch cannot be replicated both because I’m literally twenty and I’m far from suicidal so now and I love these creators with my whole heart and still engage with all of their new content but I want to move on while also still being a fan but I just can’t?”

[crossbackpoke-check]

18 + swaymark!!

oooo thank you!!

#18 - pleaser, wallows + swaymark

okay i know they are canonically obsessed with each other but. the song is in some ways about feeling like you’re failing in your relationship and being not quite as obsessed with them as they maybe are with you, and in this video of them talking about being a tandem, there is the slightest pause before swayman answers “do you miss him?” that makes me want to probe a wound. we’re not talking irl reasons of how that’s an absurd question (how do you miss him. you’re coworkers you’re seeing each other all the time) we’re talking that maybe this whole goalies-in-love thing got blown out of proportion and now swayman’s having to buy into the bit too hard. linus loves it & everyone’s asking about their bromance & how they love each other so much and the thing is—linus is safe. he’s got a wife and plausible deniability and jeremy? jeremy is gay. sure, he can crack jokes and people-please but the more people ask the more they're going to find out until maybe they find out something jeremy doesn't want them to know. and the longer this goes on, the more jeremy has to sit at linus' dinner table with linus and his beautiful wife and pretend like he isn't a little bit in love with him. and you know what? the longer it goes on and linus doesn't dial it down jeremy does stop being in love with him, because it just feels cruel, until he finally is done enough that he stops biting his tongue and ruins the moment.

[littlemut]

social media gurus be like “cOnTeNt Is KiNg” yeah and depression is queen but you never talk about that now do you

[hirundo-demersalis]

Funniest thing about enduring years of being called "manipulative" by my mom and my teachers and my peers for having the audacity to show emotions or pain is, hands down, the fact that I've realized how easy it is to intentionally con people by using raw melodramatic drivel and embraced it. Like oh, it's basic human instinct to respond to a person crying? Wrong! They're all crocodile tears meant to demand your attention, and by God, I will do anything for attention, good or bad! Whatever satisfies the other basic human need for interaction.

[pineapplesagainstpizza]

There's nothing more annoying than those people that cry about not experiencing teen love. You dodged a bullet

[ethicsbutcher]

me remembering hannibal is technically responsible for both of abigail's parents' violent deaths, remembering how he helped her hide a murder plus hide her own involvement in her father's murders, used this as leverage to manipulate her into creating a dependant relationship with him, used hER to manIPULATE WILL GraHAm intO beco mi n g closer with him and creating their own fucked up lil family, fED HeR PsYCHeDELIc D RuGs, chOPPED ONE OF HER E A Rs OFF, sTAGED A MURDER WITH HER IN OR DER TO F R AME WILL GRAHAM, k e pt h er hi dden from t he world while will rotted in jaiL, LIED ABOUT HER DEATH WHILE WILL CRIED ABOUT HOW MUCH IT HURT TO LOSE ABIGAIL BECAUSE HE WANTED TO SURPRISE HIM, ONLY TO KILL HER FOR REAL IN FRONT OF WILL ALL OUT OF SPITE: ...................... happy father's day