#cress' ahb reviews

[cressthebest]

Art Heist, Baby! thoughts pt. 6

chapter 16:

1. awwww jegulus lay in bed and read and hold hands. they’re in love your honor

2. james is making plans for them after the heist nooooooo it’s gonna end in tears

3. like i said way back in my third ahb thoughts post, james has a praise kink. someone please agree with me. tell me i’m not crazy.

4. pleaseeeeeeeee wolfstar needs to stop being starcrossed lovers. they need to be together and happy

5. this chapter was so domestic i’m gonna cry

6. halfway done with the fic!!!

chapter 17:

1. ….im scared. what’s regulus gonna do?

2. HES VISITING SIRIUS AGAIN?????

3. BLACK BROTHERS REUNITE PLEASE

4. i fucking hate orion. broke reggie’s fingers just to save his brothers fucking life. man, fuck him.

5. SHIT WAIT FUCK SHIT REGULUS HAS BLACKMAIL ON SIRIUS ABOUT REMUS. HE’LL PROBABLY KILL REMUS IS SIRIUS DOESNT AGREE HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT WAIT WOLFSTAR NOOOOO

6. NO FUCK WAIT REMUS LUPINS LIFE IS ON THE LINE FOR SURE NO WAIT NO WAIT NO WAIT NOOOOOO IM SO STRESSED JESUS CHRIST

7. holy shit wait. the plan was always to kill remus lupin if sirius didn’t comply. which is why regulus was so upset that james was close with remus. holy shit. i have too many thoughts about this and i can’t formulate them on this post properly. just know that i am ACTUALLY crying right now, very scared and very upset, actually sobbing.

8. BUT WAIT AS UPSETTING AS THIS IS!!! WOLFSTAR IS REUNITED ONCE MORE!!! AND!!! JAMES AND SIRIUS GET TO BE FRIENDS!! THE MARAUDERS ARE BACK TOGETHER BABEY

chapter 18:

1. the house is full of childhood memories for reg and siri and hold up. hold up. this is heartbreaking

2. i’m so worried for remus holy shit. this is gonna create tears and trust issues in the house

3. barty wouldn’t even hesitate to shoot sirius for reggie. he’s so dedicated. i love him

4. damn, it’s heartbreaking to see reg’s pov about how remus gets both the people reggie wants. sirius and james. that shit hurts y’all

5. this entire chapter is heartbreaking, i’m just gonna leave it at that so i don’t sob while writing this

6. everyone meeting sirius <3333333

7. regulus fixed a cup of tea for james and jt went cold, because for once james didn’t join him. this is my breaking point.

[cressthebest]

Art Heist, Baby! Thoughts pt. 8

chapter 22:

1. sirius is fully committing to the heist, and the hole in my heart is slowly patching itself

2. sirius being challenged with the heist again after going so long with the poor substitute of catching art heists- this does something to me

3. regulus is proud that sirius got to grow his hair out like he wanted. sobbing still

4. Oh. it’s the museum again. with THAT painting. this. this is *the* ahb painting AGAIN

5. OH REG IS SHARING THE NIGHT SIRIUS GOT SHOT STORY TO JAMES GODDAMN

6. regulus will try to be good, just for james. he wants to be enough for james, and will never stop trying, but james always knows that reg is enough

chapter 23:

1. james tbinks that getting to know regulus is a privilege. holy shit hold up.

2. they’re so soft, wait

3. atp it’s a necessity to hear reg’s voice

4. james teasing regulus while reg is driving is 😳. ALSO reg is not good at driving to begin with. lord help them 😭😭😭

5. 😳😳😳 they’re getting spicy. but also, like, so me fr

6. okay, the way that they all make references to their canon animagi are fantastic. i particularly like how remus compares sirius’ stubborn attitude to a dog licking his wounds.

7. WOLFSTAR IS CURED WOLFSTAR IS BACK TOGETHER WOLFSTAR IS CANON

8. 😳😳 now wolfstar is getting at it

9. also, do yourself a favor and go read chapter 23 end notes. masterpiece.

chapter 24:

1. starting the chapter off with jegulus smut i see

2. james’ antler tattoo 😳

3. james is the only one for regulus, i’m sobbing

4. “Most of anything Regulus thought about these days revolved around James. That’s what he gets, he supposed, for falling for the sun. It was only natural.” AHHHHHHHHH. there’s a million things i want to quote from ahb, so i have to be selective, but WOW

5. they’re planning their house together in brazil. sobbing fr rn. arguments over green or red shutters. they’re gonna live together. i’m about to start blubbering wiat ajesjfnsksjdsldj

6. 😳 remus caught them. uh live laugh love

7. REMUS AND JAMES ARE GOSSIPING ABOUT THEIR LOVE LIFE, ALL IS RIGHT IN THE WORLD!! both of them proud for scoring the black brothers. goddamn, that’s an accomplishment

8. DORLENE!!! getting married in italy!!!!

9. barty calling jegulus sluts <3

10. ahb peter <33333

11. SHOVEL TALKS. i live for these

12. barty and evan are reg’s found family brothers and i stand by that for life.

[cressthebest]

Art Heist, Baby! thoughts pt. 7

chapter 19:

1. already crying. james is guard dogging remus after the previous chapters incident. he’s keeping watch by remus’ bed. my babies

2. wolfstar, please work out please please please

3. SIRIUS SAID THAT HE LOVES REMUS DURING THEIR FIGHT GOD DAMN

4. “Remus had already forgiven him for anything he could possibly do the second they first kissed in that museum” THIS GOT ME SO BAD

5. NOOOOO SIRIUS IS WORRIED THAT THE LAST TIME HE KISSED REMUS WOULD BE THE LAST TIME EVER NOO

6. sobbing fr over how regulus is genuinely surprised that james came back

7. sobbing HARDER NOW. james is telling reg to get his gun and shoot him cause that’s the price of love. sobbvijgn wait sobbing cryih fhsjhdksjkakjajsk

8. 😳 this james is also a kinky mf. i wasn’t gonna say anything about him definitely being turned on with a gun to his head, but this chapter confirmed my inside thoughts.

9. regulus using remus as collateral is the ahb universe jegulus version of the 5th year wolfstar prank in canon.

10. JAMES AND SIRIUS! JAMES AND SIRIUS! JAMES AND SIRIUS! THEYRE HANGING OUT! FUCK YEAH

chapter 20:

1. JAMES AND SIRIUS GETTING ON LIKE FIRE FUCK YEAH

2. james still comes back to regulus’ door and it HURTS

3. sirius getting jealous of barty, evan, and reg’s brotherhood is both satisfying and oh so angering

4. dorcas dresses the best, confirmed

5. the black brothers and back and bonding babey!!!

chapter 21:

1. shit, reg and siri are fighting about remus and it’s getting dirty. verbal punches are being THROWN

2. WAIT HOLY SHIT THE BLACK BROTHERS ARE H U G G I N G. GODDAMN

3. this will be reg’s last heist. thank fucking god. if they all get out of this alive, then they can all be happy ever after. (feed into my delusions pls)

4. i too am part of the “having complicated emotions about regulus black club”

5. 😧 shocked speechless. remus joked about marrying sirius

6. james crying at weddings is so canon

[cressthebest]

Art Heist, Baby! thoughts pt.3

chapter 7:

1. remus smothering toast in like six different toppings 😌. i smell an atyd reference here (second one. first was when remus mentioned a “grant” looking after the coffee shop for him.)

2. there’s no way in gods green earth that ahb james doesn’t have a praise kink.

3. REMUS DONT FUCK THIS DATE UP (and don’t say motorbike) (but it’s okay cause sirius finds you hot anyways)

4. i’m literally SCREAMING. REMUS PLEASE ask sirius’ last name. make the connection, for the love of god. this is making me so anxious for them.

5. JAMES CONFESSING THAT HE WANTED TO KISS REG AT THE MUSEUM. they’re so in love your honor.

6. and then he goes back upstairs to the party. 😑 both of them are so gone on each other tho.

chapter 8:

1. sirius is a pathetic, pathetic man. he already thinks remus is the one and wants to move in with him. i pray, that just this once, the universe will be kind to them.

2. THE REGULUS AND SIRIUS CONFRONTATION 😳😳

the degas was sirius’ favorite which is why regulus stole it 😭😭😭

walburga and orion are dead. thank fucking god.

regulus left sirius to die that night oh my god. they were both children, but yeah, i’d hold a bit of a grudge too, holy shit.

i wish sirius joined regulus. i’m hoping and praying that he will. please please please be a criminal with him. don’t make wolfstar suffer. reunite with your brother. make james and sirius besties again. please please please.

chapter 9:

1. dorcas my beloved

2. dorlene’s on the record/off the record feelings are just AHHHHH

3. REGULUS CRYING IN THE OVERFLOWING BATHTUB OVER THE DEGAS HE WANTED GO GIBE TO SIRIUS. please end this heartbreak, i beg of you. sirius, please go back to a life of crime.

4. regulus saying that james and sirius would get along really well. PLEASE YOUR HONOR, THEY WERE BEST FREINDS AND BROTHERS IN ANOTHER LIFETIME. REUNITE SIRIUS AND JAMES.

5. REGULUS FLINGS HIMSELF INTO JAMES’ ARM FOR A HUG!

[cressthebest]

Art Heist, Baby! thoughts pt. 4

chapter 10:

1. first line 😭😭😭😭 “alright criminals and common whores” -barty

2. barty trying to call james, peter, and possibly lily “pussies” is the funniest thing to me. like, barty chill, your unhinged is showing.

3. la la la lalalalalala using the humor in the fic to distract from the horrors of having to shoot a target, realizing it could be a human la la la la la

4. james made regulus orange muffinsssssss of my gosh i’m gonna cry

5. 😳 they just made an unbreakable vow. i literally believe in the power of pinky promises more than the power of the elder wand

chapter 11:

1. sirius was regulus’ brother, and his parent. and regulus left him, and i’m heartbroken. i don’t know if any of this is coherent but AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH sirius and regulus need to be reunited

2. sirius and remus aren’t even BOYFREINDS yet and sirius is acting like a u-haul lesbian, trying to move to the US to live with him.

3. remus and regulus! remus and regulus! remus and regulus! they’re talking about books!! all is right in this world

4. … i am in fear. regulus heard remus’ phone buzz. shit is about to go down

5. it’s fine. remus’ text was from mary (♥️✨💍)

6. james and remus are besties! james and remus are besties! they are close in a way that most fics don’t depict! and i love them!!!

chapter 12:

1. they plan on their art heist taking LESS THAN 81 MINJTES TO COMPLETE and earning MORE THAN 500 MILLION???? god DAMN

2. regulus watching james make dinner is so domestic i’m gonna cry

3. ..why is regulus so pressed that james and remus know each other? that’s.. suspicious

[cressthebest]

Tender Curiosities, Baby! thoughts pt. 1

okay, so i lied. this is not the end of my ahb posts, cause this fic is part of the ahb universe. please forgive me

chapter 1:

1. the chapter starts with evan and barty in jail 😭😭😭 this is off to a great start

2. reg is pissed beyond belief but bails them out anyways <333333

3. “Regulus knew that they would screw up. He loved them anyway. They knew that Regulus would come, every time. Even when he said he wouldn’t.” AHHHHHHH

4. regulus being alive in this universe again is giving me major tears. i missed him being alive in the ahb universe. i know it’s short lived, but i’m so happy

5. reg being the one to connect evan and barty is so lovely to me. but also so sad knowing he won’t get to be at their wedding!!

6. evan is so down bad for barty already, god damn. first chapter

7. barty standing up mid final exam and ripping his paper is so canon- i can’t even handle

8. evan is giving demi romantic and i am ALL FOR THAT

9. “"One day, you two can work with me, and it'll be different," Regulus would say, when Barty came back with bruised knuckles or when Evan would come home limping from a run in with Mulciber's men.” AND THEY DO! THEY DO WORK FOR REG ONE DAY!!!

10. OH SHIT WAIT- NOW EVAN IS TALKING ABOUT THE FIRST TIME BARTY KISSED HIM??? OH MY GOD

11. 😳😳😳 oh my god. chapter one and we find out about how barty likes to choke evan. this is wild

12. oh. oh. OH MY GOD

13. they’re going at it, holy shit

14. “The first time Barty kissed Evan, they had sex.” GOD DAMN. that’s wild.

15. … 😐 dude. barty. what the fuck. he says he’s not gay, and the sex was just as friends. and they keep on having moments like this. that’s wild. i just- AHH dude come on

16. “What a vicious and tender cycle it was.” that line is lovely, what the fuck. both a callback to the title, while being so lovely and so heartbreaking. author has SKILLS

[cressthebest]

Art Heist, Baby! thoughts pt. 5

chapter 13:

1. “suits were made for regulus black to wear them” -james. DAYUMN he’s down BAD

2. barty and evan are reggie’s family 😭😭😭

3. LUCIOUS MALFOY IS AT THE AUCTION! HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK (not reg downing the champagne before talking to lucious tho)

4. james wants to wave the bidding paddle 😭 he’s such a golden retriever

5. loving the umbridge cameo

6. james flirting with reggie <33333

7. ooooh reg lore. just found out that reg got caught sneaking a boy out of his house when he was younger

8. REG FLIRTING BACK HOLY SHIT

9. THEY WERE GONNA KISS BUT THEN THEY DIDN’T!! AUGH COME ON

chapter 14:

1. they’re calling it “the great date-scapade”

2. remus and sirius are official!!!!

3. poor remus is heartbroken from being in love with sirius. i prayed that god would be merciful to their love in this lifetime, but he WASNT. this is why i’m atheist

chapter 15:

1. a surprise 4:00 am date!!!!!!!! they’re gonna paint!!!

2. regulus wants to plant a garden in france. im sobbing oh my gosh. (i know reg is gonna die, and i don’t think i can handle it)

3. HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT RED ALERT! RED FUCKING ALERT. REG KISSED JAMES HOLY SHIT

4. i’m fine, this is all fine, i’m okay.

5. HOLY SHIT THEYRE ABOUT TO SLEEP TOGETHER. RED ALERT YALL. ITS GETTING SPICEY

6. it was so well written, holy shit. i love them.

[cressthebest]

Art Heist, Baby! thoughts pt. 14

we’re nearing the end yall and i’m getting HELLA nervous. five chapters left. and reg is gonna die. i’m not ready

chapter 34:

1. the mulciber swap went perfect. still nervous though

2. the heist is almost over. and they’re all splitting up to go places. i don’t think i can handle this

3. god, it’s the lucius swap. i don’t think it’s gonna go well. i’m so worried

4. “Regulus cleared his throat. “I just want to say that it had been a privilege and an honour to conduct this heist with all of you. Each of you are brilliant individuals and I couldn’t have asked for a better team.”” sobbing so badly rn. horrifically sobbing. oh my god. the death must be this chapter. it feels all like a final goodbye, and it probably is for reg

5. reg wants to fix his relationship with sirius over a hundred cups of coffee. that sounds so nice

6. reg is looking forward to attending sirius and remus’ wedding! and he’s surprised that sirius wants him there. this. this all feels so foreboding

7. god. they’re face to face with tom riddle. this isn’t gonna end well. i can feel it

8. it was a set up. all reg gets to say is “james run” and then there’s bullets. i almost don’t want to read the rest of the chapter. i don’t even think i’m gonna cry. just quiet resignation. i will be fine. i fucking called it last post tho, saying it would be tom riddles fault.

9. oh gosh. reg is dying right there on the floor, blood pooling in his lungs and he’s telling james not to be scared

10. i was a fool. of course i’m sobbing. i sent my freind a two minute long voice recording while sobbing about how sad i was over the death. they can confirm, though i’m not asking them to

11. reg gives james his ring. oh fuck

12. dying by tom riddles’ hands. drowning in his own blood. of course he dies by drowning

13. on another note, i’m sure that james’ gun kink is very much gone

14. “It wasn’t the amount of blood that had accumulated all over the floor that convinced James that Regulus was dead.

Or the fact that Regulus had stopped the gurgling and wheezing noises several minutes ago as he drifted into cruel stillness.

It wasn’t Barty’s tear stained and blood splattered face. Or Evan’s desperate attempts to shake Regulus awake. It wasn’t even Peter’s sorrowful look upon checking for a pulse. Or his frantic attempts to do CPR anyway.

It was Sirius’ agonised wails as he pleaded and called out to a God he never believed in to spare his brother. To bring him back. “I just got him back,” Sirius screamed. “I just got him back. Please. Don’t do this. Please bring him back. I just got him back.””

this fucking fic i swear to god

15. everyone else is dead, thanks to evan and barty. for once, i agree with their unhinged. it was a slaughter of men on the other side, and i am glad. they are dead, and they don’t even deserve it. they deserve a life of torture for what they did. thank fucking god they’re dead tho. it makes me rest easy

they were supposed to get a house with green or red shutters and get married and travel the world and make tea and orange muffins and snog in art museums and visit their freinds and be happy and in love and never live a mundane life cause they’re rich and together. but NO. it has to all get ruined

im not okay, thank you for asking. i will never be okay, thank you for asking. i never want to be okay again, stop asking.

[cressthebest]

Tender Curiosities, Baby! thoughts pt. 5

chapter 6 (final):

1. just throwing in the fact that barty does coke now 😭😭

2. damn it switched to smut so fast. it’s written well tho

3. i always love whenever the gang calls each other just to talk

4. 😐 babes, why are you fucking instead of talking about your problems? fantastically written btw but. babes.

5. evan and james’ friendship>>>>>>

6. !!!! they’re gonna go scare pandora and frank!!

7. 😳 i forget evan and barty can be scary

8. i forgot about the severed cows tongue they’re gonna leave on pandoras doorstep 😭😭😭

9. “The last time Barty had sex with Evan the thought of being married to him made him cum so hard that he blacked out for at least thirty seconds. Possibly longer.”

Damn. well. that sure is a statement. AT LEAST I PROBABLY GET TO READ FHE PROPOSAL ANS MARRIAGE! FUCK YEAH

10. awwwwww i’m literally crying. barty is all shy and nervous about proposing

11. AWWWW THEY PROPOSED!!!!!

12. they want to get married with elvis in the room 😭😭 they’re so chaotic

13. barty just dragged a random stranger in to the chapel to witness the wedding 😭😭😭 wtf

14. the gathering storm realization. nooo i’m literally sobbing. this chapter is so funny and happy, and then they bring up gathering storm.

15. their heist plan is so chaotic 😭😭 they want to lower james down from the ceiling with a rope in a plan called “operation spider”

16. “Barty and Evan both believed that improvisation and running away as fast as humanly possible could solve just about anything.” dude, regulus would be so pissed at you

17. james got the gathering storm and is crying. my babyyyyy

18. “What a tender and curious thing that was to imagine.”

ITS ALL OVER NOOOOOOO. the ahb universe was literally one of the best i’ve ever read tho. kudos author, fantastic job.

on that note, it feels like a good time to once again remind: to NOT BIND THE AUTHOR’S FIC. DO NOT SELL COPIES OF IT. respect the laws regarding fanfic and respect the author’s work. we were given this for free and we should NOT take that for granted. be kind, be respectful, and be thankful

[cressthebest]

Tender Curiosities, Baby! thoughts pt. 2

chapter 2:

1. barty being referred to as “bartemus” only further confirms why he chooses not to go by that name. jesus christ, it’s a bad name

2. his father just straight up called barty gay. like, unprompted, not even with malice. wtf guys.

3. 😑😐😑😐 blink blink. why is barty straight up just deciding to be straight because he wants to spite his dad. that’s wild (i promise i love this fic)

4. barty meeting regulus <333 they’re brothers your honor! they love each other!

5. “Every time they locked eyes, he’d forget how to breathe, and Barty found himself working overtime to make Evan smile.” GAYYY

6. barty going to reg when he runs away <333333333 i love them so much

7. the origin of barty pretending to like tea for reg 😭😭

8. they may be criminals! they may murder people! but barty asks for consent when having sex with evan! and i love him for it!

9. awww barty, it’s okay if you’re gay. you’re father can be right about this one thing. it’s okay. don’t keep doing this to yourself

10. barty is literally like, i’m not gay. but i’m gonna sleep with you sometimes. but in a straight way. and i’ll also live with you. and keep you in my life forever. cause you make my life worth living, in a straight way of course 😑

11. god, i finally see the appeal of rosekiller. one of my favorite ships now, yall

12. barty 😭😭 this is getting ridiculous. evan left for a bit and he’s like, “evan broke up with us! as freinds!” like oooh you’re so close there buddy. try again.

13. regulus is so british 😭😭 “oh dear. i’ll make some tea.” jfc that was so funny to me.

chapter 3:

1. evan, my dear. distance and time will not remove your crush on barty

2. Orion is sick! fuck yeah!!!

3. oh no. sirius left reg. i knew it was gonna happen, but it hurts so bad

4. “I’m sorr–congrats-ry?” DYING. that’s what evan says when regulus says orion is dying. like jfc he’s so silly

5. evan and barty have a job with regulus now!!!!!!!!!! i can’t wait for them to be business partners forever! and no one dies 😊

6. YALL!! REGULUS IS MAKING HIS PLANS FOR *THE* HEIST

7. BARTY WAS SHOT ON THE JOB??? i feel like i knew this was gonna happen, but i’m still shocked

8. god, what’s crazy is that reg is having flashbacks to when sirius was shot. he’s saying stuff like “i won’t leave you again”. my BABIES

9. “if you ever talk to me about Sirius like that again, Evan, it’ll be the last thing you ever fucking say to me.” HOLY SHIT that’s crazy. i’m pretty sure reg just threatened evan’s life

10. 😳😳 reg was fucking barty’s doctor. that’s wild

11. the people who shot barty no longer have fingers 😦 wow

12. !!!!! reg is on the phone with james for the first time

13. oh my god. i love seeing james and reg meet from the other perspective this time. reg fixed up his hair and dressed up to meet james 😭😭

14. evan and barty are planning on being together forever!! (not yet as partners, but we’re getting there)

15. THEYRE KISSING AGAIN

16. WAIT WHAT evan just told barty to fuck off. oh my god

[cressthebest]

Tender Curiosities, Baby! thoughts pt. 4

chapter 5:

1. awww rosekiller are about to do their gay little outside the plane moment <333

2. the way barty thinks that james and reg are about to fuck behind the divider in the plane 😭😭😭 no babes they’re sobbing

3. 😳 i forgot they were absolutely unhinged for a moment and WOULD murder the mole despite james and reg’s wishes

4. awww we get to see reg being all soft about the house in brazil <333

5. WAIT NO STARTED SOBBING CAUSE I JUST REMEMBERED REG NEVER GETS TO BE THE ONE TO SHOW JAMES THE HOUSE IN BRAZIL

6. oh my god barty is being jealous of evan calling james pretty boy. maybe i like a little jealousy in fics, sue me.

7. god i fucking hate lucius. just felt like it needed to be said

8. oh shit, they’re gonna blame reg’s death on themselves because instead of finding out more about tom riddle, they’re celebrating an engagement and having a little fun

9. fuck i know i’ve already read the copenhagen swap and know what happens, but i’m not ready

10. thank fucking GOD evan finally got to murder lucius

11. 😳😳 oh my god. now, kink shame me if you must, for the horrible timing of this, but god, i bet sirius looked so hot. like picture long curly black hair loose and over his shoulder and his eyes are mad with rage as his hands and arms are splattered with blood as he’s trying to puncture tom riddle’s throat with his bare hands.

12. this chapter is making me cry again, jesus fuck

13. sitting in the blistering hot shower, completely clothed while drinking straight from a bottle of whiskey- the author is correct. that IS the way that barty would mourn

14. “Regulus would answer. He’d pick up. He always picks up when Evan calls. Always.

The phone rings and rings.

And rings.”

WHAT DO YOU MEAN REGULUS DIDNT PICK UP THIS TIME??? OF COURSE HE ANSWERED THE PHONE!! HES NOT DEAD!! HE CANT BE DEAD!

15. “Barty gets violently ill the next day and Evan sleeps for 36 hours straight.” um. hello. that’s a coma babes. evan went into a coma. holy shit

16. 😳😳 barty just broke down and yelled at peter so bad, that i’m actually scared

17. hmmmm barty has a list of rituals now to help with the pain. the showering. the tea making. that’s an odd way of grief and it mimics my own, in terms of rituals. i’m curious about this.

18. oh god, not barty finding comfort in being around sirius because sirius says and does things that remind him of reg. that’s. wow.

19. “Love had always been a violent thing for people like Barty and Evan. It was hardly ever tender or soft.” oh god, it’s no longer tender curiosities. that. that title is powerful, holy shit

20. oh god crying again. james just ndjdjsjdksks james jsut offered to do everytbjng that regulus did for evan and barty. like bailing them out of jail and all that. i— i’m not okay

21. oh my fucking god they left. this is so sad. how can this be jsut as sad as the first time i read ahb. this is ridiculous. i’m not okay

[cressthebest]

Art Heist, Baby! thoughts pt. 15

chapter 35:

1. everyone is in sirius’ and remus’ flat, and reg is still dead. i just. i’m grieving

2. sirius and james are comforting each other cause they were two of the people closest to reg

3. barty and evan lost a brother too. i’m shaking with sobs

4. james can’t find reg’s star

5. he’s talking to reg’s star and i sent another sobbing voicemail to my friend.

6. “He didn’t know that the last conversation he had with Regulus would be his last one ever. There was a heavy irony in that. Before, when things were bad, Sirius always assumed whatever conversation he had with Regulus would be his last. Whatever conversation that had ended in venom and contempt would be the note they left things on forever. But then, things got better. In fact, Sirius wasn’t aware just how much better things had gotten because they happened so gradually but things had gotten so good that he actually expected to have several thousand more conversations with Regulus in the future. And now he couldn’t even have one.” god i am not okay

7. sirius and james share cherry icecream and regulus stories and cry. it’s a tragedy that the loss of reg made them that close

chapter 36:

1. everyone is leaving and splitting up for real. i’m so worried the gang is never getting back together again, and in a way, they won’t. cause reg isn’t there. and everyone is leaving

2. sirius called himself a house husband 😭😭

3. i just remembered that reg never told james where he went when he randomly disappeared and left the sunflowers. is that gonna be revealed????

4. james doesn’t talk to peter much casue it reminds peter of a part of his life he wants to forget no no no no no no no no no nooooo tears are back

5. dorcas and marlene got james a silver constellation necklace oh my god

6. MARLENE GOT HER HOT PINK GUITAR FUCK YEAH

7. wolfstar got a dog!!!!!!!

8. “James was thoroughly convinced that Regulus was it. Regulus was his one great love. He knew he wouldn’t get another one. He didn’t want another one. He had his time, and he was so grateful for it, and he knew that nothing would ever be that spectacular again.”

well shit. i just. well shit. reg was the one. and suddenly i’m not okay again

9. rosekiller is canon now bitches. evan and barty share a room

10. uh. um. speechless. jaw dropped. evan and barty are married. well damn

11. rosekiller has rings ♥️♥️♥️♥️

12. they got married without the group cause it wouldn’t feel right without reg. i’m no longer happy. this chapter is a fucking rollercoaster

13. barty talks to reg’s star as well AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

14. oh. when reg left that one time. he bought a house. for him and james. a house. that’s what he did.

15. the heist was complete. the final four paintings were sold. reg’s life work is done

[cressthebest]

Art Heist, Baby! thoughts pt. 13

chapter 31:

1. why are they still letting regulus drive 😭😭

2. is reg just kissing james in front of all his favorite art pieces in the louvre??? like??? james is left breathless every time.. i love them

3. james says he’s gonna marry reg one day!!! i’m so excited to read the proposal that’s gonna happen in the last chapter!! (let me be delusional plssss)

4. …. is this gonna be a dorlene proposal in paris? wait!! i have such high hopes. this isn’t me being delusional, this is me actually making a guess. god i hope it’s a proposal

5. SHIT I WAS RIGHT RED ALERT RED FUCKING ALERT ITS GONNA BE A PROPOSAL!!! MARLENE IS GONNA PROPOSE TO DORCAS FUCK YEAH

6. SHE SAID YES!! DORCAS SAID YES!!!!!

7. nobody told james it was happening until moments before cause they knew he would be crying tears of happiness 😭😭😭😭 he’s such a fool i love him so much

8. sirius loves photography and regulus remembers!! sirius is surprised reg remembers, but he does!!

9. france is bad for sirius, with so many bad memories, but together him and reg are gonna paint better ones <333333

chapter 32:

1. the black brothers are fixing their bond <333

2. i don’t like that tom riddle is back. i’m very suspicious. watch him be the one to kill reg

3. god, sirius is gonna meet up with the family of those who shot him. i’m so worried this isn’t gonna end well

4. sirius just invited james and reg over to their flat they get once the heist is over. i’m sobbing

5. i love how peter is talking about how it feels to be on the outside of knowing it all, and now everyone paired off except him

6. the more and more they make plans for the future, the more worried i get. cause i know that’s gonna break me

7. god i hate lestrange

8. thank god they got out of the second exchange with no wounds

chapter 33:

1. wolfstar ✨🌙 that’s the bullet point

2. DORCAS AND MARLENE ARE STRAIGHT UP JUST HAVING THE WEDDING???? RIGHT NOW??? TOMORROW NIGHT??

3. “There was no wedding registry, but both Sirius and Remus were under the impression that a good espresso machine was the foundation for a good marriage, and therefore was necessary.” god both of them are so sleep deprived

4. “Sorry. Have you seen Dorcas? You are the hottest person I’ve ever seen Sirius but both of us combined couldn’t upstage her on her worst day. Besides, Marlene would probably sneak in here and shave each of our eyebrows off just to make sure of it.” remus is absolutely correct on all accounts

5. ““Evan looks good all the time,” Barty frowned and Remus and Sirius shared a knowing glance.” 👀 👀 remus and sirius know what’s up

6. james did an apology blow job 😭😭

7. reg speaks italian and everyone including sirius is pissed off at his skill. and barty can speak it too

8. james is gonna get a blow job at the dorlene wedding. and i just. y’all. it’s like twelve people big. they’re gonna notice you’re not there

9. sirius caught them afterwards 😳😳

10. barty and evan are staying true to character by buying dorlene a whole bunch of sex gifts 😭😭 i love them

[cressthebest]

Art Heist, Baby! thoughts pt2.

chapter 4:

1. ….. they are going to stay in. a. MANSION???? HOLY SHIT. SHUT UP.

2. no relationships? and no sex? regulus has no idea what he just forbade. like?? babes, everyone is pairing off, you included.

3. remus’s journaling about books habit instead of writing in the margins. it’s so him <333333

4. james taking off his shirt and regulus trying very hard not to look at james’ chest 😳

5. james nearly collapsing beneath regulus’ touch is SIMP BEHAVIOR

6. date????? it’s a date??? tomorrow? with reg?

7. CHAPTER NOTES SAY SIRIUS COMES NEXT CHAPTER. AND HOLY SHIT IVE BEEN WAITING! HES MY GENDER ENVY, AND WOLFSTAR *IS* A NECESSITY.

chapter 5:

1. the chapter summary only says: [Enter: Sirius Black]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

2. wait. is wolfstar going to end up being starcrossed lovers of detective x thief. wait. wait. wait. hold up jsut a minute.

3. THE BLACKS WERE A FAMILY OF THIEVES. HOLY SHIT. AND SIRIUS ESCAPED??? I’m literally so intrigued.

4. remus and sirius love at first sight, lovers in every universe, fated to a tragic end. my dears, i hope it works out for you this time.

5. GOD DAMN. MAKING OUT IN AN ART MUSEUM?? wolfstar apparently needs to make up for lost time in this universe. god damn.

6. peter being treated as valuable and important and a good character <3333

chapter 6:

1. regulus is well aware this is a date with james, whether either outright specified it or not. james having a special outfit for reg is so james 😭😭😭. and regulus well aware that james is trying to flirt with him and likes it.. AHH

2. their favorite holidays reflecting the other person!!! i’m sobbing!! james liking winter and regulus liking summer, jsut proves how their attraction to each other started <33333

3. side note, regulus is a capricorn and i have been blessed with this knowledge. because i am a capricorn too. i think regulus is a january capricorn like me. he gives that vibe.

4. OH THIS SCENE. the scene with THE art heist baby painting, the one with the boat! OH!

james will steal it for him 😭😭😭

what a fucking idiot, i love him

james is willing to follow regulus anywhere oh my god. hold up. i think i need a moment. hold up.

this is the exact moment reg fell head over heels in love. he already liked james, but this moment sealed his fate.

5. regulus and james both want it to be a date but they literally can’t. why are they making this painful for themselves. just call it a date. THE PINING

[cressthebest]

“Art Heist, Baby!” my thoughts

Chapter 1 thoughts

1. IS JAMES NOT ALREADY FRIENDS WITH SIRIUS????

i just assumed that in any universe, james and sirius were best friends. and i’m sure they will be, but starting by the fic without that was HEARTBREAKING

2. James loving regulus’s french accent and already being a simp. jesus he’s pathetic.

3. ✨✨coffee shop remus✨✨

chapter 2 thoughts:

1. remus telling james he’s going to be murdered is so real. (and the free coffee cause he’s gonna die 😭😭)

2. “of course he was named after a star, he was ethereal” JAMES IS ALREADY IN LOVE WITH REGULUS. i love them so much

3. james has a gun to his goddamn head and still is waxing poetic about how pretty regulus looks. i need me a simp of a man like that.

4. i’m really worried about remus now. not about his safety, but i’m worried he will have a lack of a role in the story. and i love him, so he needs to be in this story more, i’m praying.

chapter 3 thoughts:

1. okay, i’m less worried about remus. remus is going on holiday too for a bit, so of course they’re in the heist together. this is a good day. a very good day for me.

2. james wants to tell remus about the jet but can’t 😭😭. they’re best friends your honor

3. LITERALLY SOBBING!!! REMUS IS HERE. MY BABIES!!!! REMUS LOML IS PART OF THE HEIST. HES SO SNARKY ABOUT IT TOOO PLSSSSS <33333

4. all of them are perfect for their jobs. lily and mary being artists and conservators is literally so them 😭😭. and peter being a doctor works so well!! just everyone’s jobs!! ♥️♥️♥️.

5. ☹️ where is sirius black?? he’ll be around soon tho, i see his name in the tags.

[cressthebest]

Tender Curiosities, Baby! thoughts pt. 3

chapter 4:

1. awwww barty is about to go to reg about his boy (evan) problems

2. barty notices that reg was expecting someone else 👀

3. BARTY MY DUDE that is NOT the way to begin the conversation. all he does is ask reg if he’s gay. 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈 SIR that’s not what you do

4. reg telling the story of how sirius walked in on him making out with some boy 😭😭😭 and sirius just gave reg A THUMBS UP. stop that’s so in canon

5. i love how tender and personal reg and barty’s conversation is

6. 😦😦 barty. wtf my man. you just KISSED regulus like that. just straight up kissed him

7. i love how call reg is being tho. he’s just like. “Explain to me your thought process here. In words, preferably.”

8. BARTY ADMITTED TO HIS GAY CRUSH ON EVAN! WE HAVE A WIN HERE!! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

9. barty told reg everything about evan!! he’s so soft and in love

10. EVAN AND BARTY AND TALKING AGAIN AND EVAN KISSED HIM!!

11. oh wait i think they’re doing more than kissing

12. wait they stop

13. these people have so much self control to not fuck

14. “It was a curious thing, it was a tender thing,” THE TITLE YALL

15. reg just silently lets evan and barty do their thing. no questions, no comments, no look of surprise

16. “Still, he found himself telling Regulus one morning that they weren’t sleeping together, they were just sleeping together, and they were taking it slow.” -barty AWWWWW that’s so cute!! they’re so tender and in love!!!

17. dorlene mention <333

18. barty lost the bet about reg and james being together 😭😭 i love them

19. BARTY SAID HE LOVED EVAN!! RED ALERT!! RED FUCKING ALERT!!!

20. damn, one “i love you” and suddenly they’re about to fuck after months of not doing it

21. i love the different types of relationships in ahb in terms of privacy. wolfstar is loud and will snog anywhere and declare their love. jegulus is private by nature, but don’t mind doing coupley things around others. dorlene is literally just a couple who everyone knows is a couple, and they say things, but theyre not into pda really. and rosekiller straight up just don’t tell anyone

22. barty is being forced to drive the speed limit and he is APPALLED

23. the heist was so much easier to read the second time around, and from barty’s perspective. barty is so calm about it, that i literally have to remind myself that the heist is actually a big deal, and not just sneaking into a house or something

24. the fact that barty turns the radio on is always wild to me. car chase, guns about to be shot, and barty’s like AH YES! classical music will do!!

25. i forget how deranged barty is, then he goes and says something that makes me remember like “He’d make every last person in this van murderers if that’s what it would take to see Evan again.” ALRIGHTY SIR