#cried while thinking of the past | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

winesvein · 10 months

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Beneath August's spotlight, but with each breath, I am comparing the month's heat to your gaze, to what it is like to be under you(r eyes).

Deep in my heart's ocean, I do not understand what love is, unless you call it obsession, desire, want. And it is patient, yes, and how it fractures me-- to love is to give everything to you (mind, heart, soul).

—Kali

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kafkaguy · 5 months

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character wrapped 2023 💥

tagged by @davidtennantpussytulpa ^-^ i didn't know how many to do so i copied tara and did top 10. i know the severance guys are Four Of Them but i can't separate them theyre all equally important to me

will graham (hannibal), em haywood (nope), aziraphale (good omens), mark & dylan & helly & irving (severance), hawkeye pierce (mash), martha jones (doctor who), ivan karamazov (the brothers karamazov), kim kitsuragi (disco elysium), stewy hosseini (succession), ruescott melshi (andor/rogue one)

i will tag... @fagician @britomart @libraryfag @roadwhores @majorbaby @globuspolski @hadleyfraserfaggot @tenderscience if u want to ^-^

#and now i will explain them all in detail #cos i started watching hannibal back in like. january or february and will immediately set up camp in my head and started to settle there #*I* pay rent to *HIM*. he lives there permanently. sweating and monologuing constantly #em was not only the character of 2022 but also of 2023 and of 2024 and the rest of the decade and all decades to come #she had such an impact on me keke palmer's performance will live with me forever and i love nope so fucking much #i almost didnt include her because nope was more of a last year obsession. but she lives on #aziraphale.........no comment #severance.......i love them all so much and at first i wanted just irving and then just helly and then i realise i cried over mark this week #and then i realised i couldnt possibly leave out dylan when hes probably my favourite character. so then i settled for all of them #hawkeye is my fucking wife. enough said #martha... well i knew i had to have a doctor who character. i thought maybe the doctor but then i thought their companions mean more to me #sometimes at least. i did have a fourteen icon for a while but then i was like but Donna..... and then i thought. well #these past few months at least martha jones has been eating away at my heart. i go batshit insane when i think about her #her impact. her grace. her power. so she had to go on the list.it was a toss up between her and donna for sure though #then i figured i had to include a karamazov since reading that book took up half of my year. and ivan was my favourite of the 3. so <3 #kim goes without saying. literally nothing to be said hes the character Of All Time. to me #stewy also goes without saying ive had so many Stewy Save Me moments since the beginning of season 4 all the way to the end of the year #i miss him every day. he is the moment. i wish there was more of him all the time #and the last one is a bit of a wildcard cos all my insanity abt melshi has been on my andor sideblog.#but rest assured ive been thoroughly Not Normal about him. he literally side appears in 4 episodes and has 11 total minutes onscreen #but i love him. so much. and hes occupied most of my thoughts since september. once again his impact his power his grace. his homosexuality #enough said. that's all. thanks for reading. this was a great year for autism and madness #tag game #🍪

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grey-has-rusted · 2 months

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^me when i am a sensitive person

#ramblings #i hate feeling lonely #it literally hurts my heart #i have such a hard time forming connections both irl and online #idk how many times ive cried just this past month bc i felt lonely #and even when i am included in things im always an after thought #its been months but im still thinking about stupid christmas #i know the whole point isn't to get gifts #but i got one present. while i spent hundreds of dollars getting my family gifts #they even asked me what i wanted too #helped my cousin decorate for her christmas party and last minute i found out it was a secret santa #i got invited but was the only one not included in that #so yeah....#i dont have anyone to celebrate holidays with #my birthday was sad #i cried then too #not looking forward to tomorrow either #and i try to make friends and talk to people #but i feel as though i always initiate #and nobody seems interested in talking to me #which... i dont expect everyone to like me #but it really does hurt and it makes wonder what's wrong with me #also why cant my brain focus on something else #like doing something productive #its been ages since ive drawn anything #ive just been sad. that's the whole post.#bye now

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airanke · 2 months

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Seeing people frustrated and sad and even angry about the recent MHA chapter (regarding Shiggy) makes me SO HAPPY about one of my plot points in STIL, because it directly addresses the thing that people are understandably frustrated about with Shiggy.

#tbf I actually thought the reveal was fantastic #but I think that's because I always had a hunch that AFO fabricated it all #Like yeah of course he gave Shiggy Decay as his quirk #I had that hunch since it was revealed that he could give and take away quirks #and when it was revealed he'd been present in Shiggy's past #Which is why I am 1000% CONVINCED that he caused Dabi to spontaneously combust on Sekoto Peak #Because Touya had NOTHING but ABSOLUTE control of his quirk #It didn't and doesn't make sense to me that Touya just suddenly cried too hard and lost control of his quirk #and we also know that AFO can forcefully activate quirks #So IMO the Shiggy thing was actually fantastic #Because yeah who is Shiggy now?#Who is he and what are his goals when everything was supposed planned from the start?#I do think AFO is lying partially though #Because there was little meddling he could have done while he was trapped in Tartarus #And I don't think Shiggy's care toward the League was fabricated #Because he SPECIFICALLY sought out IZUKU'S advice on that #ANYWAY I'M RAMBLING IN MY TAGS I'M SO SORRY #air's antics

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swordmaid · 5 months

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I’ve finally done the act 2 durge scene and I’m crying so badly on the morning after yves going like -

[I promise I will be the person you see in me] bffr thats literally in response to what wyll says if you decide to break up with the others for him are you kidding me!!!!!!!

#I love that scene tho 😭 wyll cheering yves on meanwhile she’s like I will scoop out your one good eye and wear it on my circlet ☺️❤️💋#but I didn’t make yves tell the whole truth tho … she just cried … but she’s still withholding everything …#now I’m thinking she’s more reserved … that sweet cleric who’s a bit too trusting they met in act 1 is slowly fading away #I also hc she starts remembering some things the more they stay in moonrise #very minor things but enough to give her an idea of her past / what she’s done #now she’s more reserved … spending more time in contemplation … quietly searching to see if there’s anything else she can remember ..#all the while suffering from her dizzy spells and headache bc the more her memories get triggered the more her head hurts lol #so act 2 is not a fun time for her … and act 3 (w the stuff I’m planning) will b worse (:#shut up about bg3.#bg3 spoilers

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youremyonlyhope · 1 month

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why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up

#i'm overthinking something that i did and was told off for doing by my director #and on my way home i was thinking when was the last time i was even talked to like that during a production #and then i remembered the costume experience from hell of only a couple months ago that i've already began blocking out #but the thing is that that person was someone i knew i'd never have to work with again #i mean at first i thought i would have to work with them more. then they announced they were moving away immediately #so i only had to deal with them face to face for another weekish after that point and anytime they yelled at me #i was like 'cool. i'll do exactly what you say to do. and nothing more.' but then of course me being me #i did some extra stuff and they initially were like 'oh that's pretty' and then days later told me to cut everything i added #and like sure i get that the show was frozen but girl. that costume was unfinished. i was trying to finish it. it was frozen but looked bad #anyway. whenever they yelled at me and had actual malice in their heart i was like whatever. i was hurt. but i didn't care as much.#but this time it's someone i've worked with many many times before and it was about a habit i have that i know isn't great #but at the same time the thing that prompted it wasn't even me doing this habit it was something else #but she interpreted it as that habit and said that i can't do that on a production she's directing #and that if i couldn't stop then i could pull out from the production and there'd be no hard feelings between us #and honestly i think her reassuring that she knows i'm valuable and that she wants me there while also telling me not to do this thing #and the fact that she's someone i like working with and will continue to work with just made it all hurt so much more #especially since she referenced another past production we've done where i didn't even realize she had noticed that i do this.#and i found myself in near tears. and still am kind of in near tears. i can't decide if i need to cry or not.#and i had NO sleep last night so i was looking forward to sleeping tonight but now i'm just overthinking EVERYTHING #and like. i know everything will be fine. if i just stop inserting myself and stick to just my specific tasks. it'll be fine.#but this is one of the ways my ocd manifests. i feel like i have to personally fix something i notice going wrong. or it'll be bad.#because every single time i choose to sit back and not be nosy when i notice something it ends up bad in a way i could have prevented #if i just inserted myself in a situation i technically wasn't part of but knew i could help or fix. so i just need to not do that.#but then i feel guilt if it does go wrong in the ways i immediately assumed it would and in a way i could prevent.#and i've been trying to work on this for like 6 months and aaaahhhh it's hard and being called out on it from her just really really hurt #i still may or may not cry. i don't know. the irony of me telling my therapist THIS MORNING that it's been a while since i last cried.#and the universe being like 'i took that as a challenge' and handing me this situation for me to spiral over.#i need to leave things alone. i need to stare straight ahead. and ignore whatever isn't specifically for me to do. but ahhh i want to help #and then of course my mom has this same habit and it annoys me when she does it yet i do it to other people and ahhhhhhhh #brain please just shut up. i need to sleep. i have to work tomorrow.

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guideaus · 4 months

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help, she makes me want to restart the anime

#personal #snf lb #i almost cried #i wuv her <3 #i think the manga has been going past where i stopped tho so there is more to catch up on #and when i think abt it i only cried w the start of frieren i think bc i already read those hundred something chapters #it makes me think of dunmeshi. i start the anime knowing i like them but i feel the series' start is just very ok #while frieren's start is great and i already know all i know so i was like FRIEREN 🥺😢😭😭😭

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waterdeepthroat · 10 months

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bg3 is one of the only games where i’ve had to take some space away with it due to content. and honestly? i think that’s a good thing

#i’m usually very good at separating my emotions from a character’s emotions/my past from a character’s past #i can probably count the number of movies/tv shows/games i’ve cried because of in one hand (the first one was angel. that finale got me.)#but bg3 is different in that i haven’t cried bc something was too sad/emotionally powerful but that i needed to physically step away #the similarities between astarion and myself became kind of unbearable but in a good way? like it was painful but it was well-done #idk if not for my past of SA i rlly don’t think his storyline would hit that hard to me personally. but because i see so much of myself #in his mannerisms and how he puts on a façade of being hypersexual it just. it just rlly gets me man #and this is GOOD WRITING!! it’s GOOD FUCKING WRITING!! but it’s very bittersweet for me bc i feel like i can relate to his storyline on #another level but it also causes such emotional pain that i wish i could disengage from it. just my thoughts tho #also just wanted to say: i don’t think it was ever confirmed that astarion was assaulted by cazador but he does textually have issues with #intimacy and sexuality as a result of cazador. so obv while our experiences are not the same i think it’s fair to draw parallels as long as #you don’t take implication as fact. anyway.#bg3 #baldur’s gate 3 #discussion of assault in tags

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faeriebabee · 5 months

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bitches will say they're fine and then add another romantic breakup song to the playlist they made about growing apart from the one friend they thought they would always love

#you can prepare yourself for the probable drifting apart as life takes you different directions #you cannot prepare yourself for all the different paths they may go down #the good news is that i'm dealing with this much better than i have been the past year #thinking about her no longer derails all of my plans for the day #it's been a couple months since i cried for hours while listening to coney island or bite the hand. or since i've cried at all #currently staring at a wall and sulking. but alas it's impossible to live life without occasionally feeling melachonic about the past #i'm going to let myself feel melancholic for few more songs and then i'm going to get up and do what i have to do to make the future easier

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the-jam-to-the-unicorn · 4 months

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Because the week wasn't sad enough, there had to be a new Lenny interview that broke my heart a lot more. 🥺😭🥲

youtube

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boyfhee · 11 months

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you know the best feeling is when you infiltrate your boyfriend's friend group and become a part of it

#ramyeon with spam !#well . talking ab my ex here. his friends are sooo cool we're still in touch . well if being insta moots and viewing stories counts as one #i remember when i met them and they were so welcoming and always down to help me. or just anyone in their group #like i love watching friendships like that #me and my friend used to hang out with them all the time like. all the time #this is so random but i came across our pics together while strolling thru my gallery and i miss them all so much #and everything js made me realise how good things were two yrs ago and how everyone of us wanted to stay together for a long time #but now all of us have moved on and moved to different places have different lives and imp things to cater to to even think ab the past #and it makes me so emotional bc they were like. one of my best days in highschool #we were just a bunch of silly goofy friends but we cried together and laughed together and we also talked shit ab ppl together #we had a tradition of burning answer sheets once they were given back to us . if u get a bad score that is #bye this is so random lmfao

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llumimoon · 1 year

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gn thinking abt them (Dot and Sparrow)

#cal rambles #its pretty late idk if anyones gonna see this LMAO #i got too in the zone while drawing and now its 2 am and i have class tomorrow. OOPS #little hint ig abt what that drawing is LMAO #I JUSY. THEM CRIES #something abt meeting this child. who's been a child for ages ! and who knows you so deeply but only knew your past child self #it's literally sparrow as an adult having to face his own childhood whimsy and curiosity and spirit #in Dot's head. Sparrow is still that lovewolf #and even if they're afraid he's changed too much that maybe they will be considered too much of a danger after all #that loyalty and heart still shines through when they need it #OUGH #its just. Dot brings the lovewolf out of Sparrow bc to them it was never lost #and all Dot ever wanted was a steady parentsl figure who protected them and supported them and loved them #and like. i think abt Sparrow giving the Doodler it's name ALL THE TIME. GENUINELY #something abt how in s1 Sparrow refered to the Doodler as his spawn his creation #i just think its funny but also fitting for that to follow through in the future LMAO #they r just SOOO ON THE BRAIN #but i need to sleep JSVEJDJFF so thats all #i love them <3 hehehehe #i meant to say reigniting help #sorry i usually give up when theres a typo in my tags that i didnt catch but like #literally changes the phrase to the opposite of what i meant if i don't clarify LMAOO #doodle dot au

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thewitchoftheweed · 9 months

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a theory we likely won’t find any evidence to back up, but i believe is true nonetheless: humans have always taken great joy in dressing up their cats in dumb little outfits.

i’ll bet you anything at some point in the roman empire some dude called for his wife like: “julia! julia come here, we’ve received a visit from a senator!!!”

and when julia rushes in to see their distinguished and unexpected guest she finds the family mouser in a tiny lil toga while her husband is laughing so hard he’s holding back tears

like we invented photography and immediately people were plopping cats in costumes in front of the lens. this must be a long-standing human tradition of Bothering Our Animals and i think it’s beautiful.

#my posts #rambles #i just like to think about how people in the past must’ve lived #i cried the other day bc an archaeologist made a video on a roman gravestone for a grandmother #whose epitaph and grace depicted her as sitting in the sun #gossiping while she cradled her beloved grandchild #and it’s like #my nana and grandmama did that #on porches in alabama #and this grandma did it too #all the way back in ancient rome #we don’t change and sometimes that’s beautiful

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sylhea-raemi · 1 year

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Airi playing an important role in the story but also the fact that she's the only proof of oda kazuha and saito tooru's existance on earth is wow

#look okay so like it's not confirmed how many times the other magicians can reincarnate but they CAN reincarnate more than once and CAN be #reincarnated to a different world. makia and thor are the prrof of that– not only that but airi being connected to both of them possessing #memories of kazuha and tooru's existance in airi's world....#so airi's presence in maydare is the only proof of kazuha and toru existing in another world other than makia and thor themselves #because look thor STILL don't know about his past life as tooru but makia and airi knows #airi is what reminds kazuha of the other world other than her own memories makia is the only person who can remind airi of her previous wor #because airi had been shown being homesick in a certain way (the cuisine/food) and makia's the ONLY person she knows that have memories of #their life as japanese high school students. makia is the only person that reminds airi of her previous life- they're each other's proof of #their previous life's existance im gettung insane #but the thing is both of them are moving forward from their past but like there are remains of fondness of things they liked and that's ok!#it's like moving forward but still acknowledging their roots acknowledging what they were before acknowledging how far they've grown #cries i know im repeating myself and maybe not making sense but istg i didn't mean to shove thor away 💀💀💀💀#im so sorry i know he's like. he appeared in the early chapters and i *did* like him but deadass would not care about him #it's only because of makia that i care about him im sorry the other characters captured my heart.. was it because he's out for a long while #but i like that type of shit when the ml is gone for some time and then they reunite... and the fact that other characters are out of scene #sometimes too so like? maybe im too biased sobbing what the hell #the savior's guardians are like. i don't really care abt them esp the two knights (leonhart or something and thor)#prince gilbert is annoying yeah but i don't hate him and my impression of his character improved reading through lady alicia arc #so yeah gilbert is annoying and pretty okay to me now but at least he's not a character i can easily forget lol #i think i need to REALLY reread mtm because i really could not bring myself to like thor higher than 'hes okay ig'#sylhea talks maydare

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luxrayz64 · 8 months

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wyvern was my favourite titan before the dlc bc of how cinematic it was. break through it all fucked hard, you were racing this giant dragon above the island you'd been exploring before. you'd soar past familiar landmarks. it was breathtaking. it was such an insane moment and one of the highlights of the game

I'll have to actually beat the dlc first and see how I feel afterwards but rn I want wyvern to explode and die and if I see that wretched snake beast again I will tear those stupid fucking yaoi hands off its body and beat it to death with them

#I took a break and I feel more normal now but I think it's fun how quickly my opinion can change. I might feel better about it later on #I couldn't get past wyvern on hard. I could like semi consistently parry gigantos attacks but wyvern felt genuinely random #I was at the point where I could semi consistently parry its attack in its first phase but not its second phase. what the hell #and you NEED to hit the parries otherwise you get sent back to missile hell #the cinematic parts of this fight became wastes of time in a trial where every second counts #don't play the dlc on hard mode. check what mode you're on if it's been a while. DON'T PLAY THE DLC ON HARD MODE #shocked I got this far without realising. I beat the dragon trial in like 5 or 6 tries? it really wasnt that hard. man #espeon cries

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t-u-i-t-c · 10 months

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Karizaki's Rebellion, The Price of Transformation

#kr revice lb #kr lb #umbrella.thoughts #umbrella.posts #i've never been more attracted to george than i am rn #anyways ikki forgot his parents and i cried #and george is trying to prove a point and i cried #hiromi and george are platonic to me #like their relationship feels so much like friends who've known each other for a while but it feels like forever #the type of relationship where you believe you know all you can about the person but they have so much more information about them branchin #off with their relationships to other people #hiromi can sense something is very off with george but can't understand it bc he couldn't understand george's relationship with his father #i think about the idea of acceptance and how it applies throughout this series as characters make mistakes and try to atone #i think about the acceptance of the past having happened and how everyone has to keep moving forward #i think about how ikki had to accept what he did to jiko and had to accept his memory loss #i think about daiji having to accept that he's done bad things but can redeem himself #i think about sakura accepting her weakness and hanna accepting responsibility and tamaki accepting that he was wrong #i think about hiromi accepting that he let his righteousness get the better of him and genta forgiving vail and accepting him #i'm thinking a lot of thoughts

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