#cringefail manager of my heart

[fivveweeks]

tbh it's a little strange how some people sincerely believes that dante is this bumbling incompetent fool of a new manager. like i know we all call dante our cringefail manager (affectionate) but it's weird to make it their core personality when you can literally infer the opposite in canon.

seriously, sinners combat implies that dante is:

- smart enough to calculate probabilities or, in the case where it's an added analysis function of their PDA, they are least have some insane gut feeling/instincts of the clash outcomes

- can foresee what would be the next attack of the enemies (again, could be an added function of their PDA but still)

- having to memorise every single bullshit status effect and attack types during and after battle (including tracking how long it lasts, looking at you Bleed/Rupture)

- DIGESTING EVERYTHING ABOVE WITHIN SECONDS WHILE JUGGLING FOR 10 COMBAT PARTICIPANTS do you have any idea how insane that is if you translate that to irl. keeping track of the chaos on the battlefield and making decisions in real time???

- is also self-aware enough to take initiative to improve themselves as a manager (canto 3 ending)

- being cunning enough to keep the secrets of K-Corps singularity in their back pockets like hello??? for someone who just lost all their memories less than a year ago they're actually being smart about this??

yes, while it's clear that dante is still getting used to playing the role of the manager while being the lovable cartoony gatcha main protag, they are FAR from being incompetent and a naive idiot. hell, canto 4 is probably showing us a hint of what past-dante is like in terms of cunningness and i for one am rubbing my hands and looking forward to what's coming next

[anjelicawrites]

Cringefail Throuple 💡

Since Michael and Reader had to go back home for Christmas, they rush back to Oxford to celebrate the new year with Billy. Lots of alcohol, silliness, and sex occurs.

Beloved Cringefail Throuple💡 anon, have I told you how much I love your brain?

NSFW and 18+ only under the cut!

Warnings (kissing, biting, scratching, fingering, threesome, anal, p in v sex, anal fingering, overstimulation, squirting).

It all would have been better if you could have access your respective colleges, alas they're closed until the holidays are over, which forces you and Michael to sneak into Billy's flat to doll yourseves up for New Year's eve. Billy, of course, doesn't know, he thinks you two are celebrating at home, with your families and will be back before the new term starts. This had been the plan, then you and Michael missed your puppy boyfriend too much to wait and your heart hurt too much at the thought of him alone on New Year's Eve as well. And here you are, back to Oxford, ready to have fun, and sex.

When you, finally, emerge from the bathroom, you've gone full goth mode: black make up, corset, fishnet stocking and high heels. Michael stares at you with his mouth hanging, eyes shamelessly on your barely covered cleavage.

"Maybe we should stay in. Wait for Billy here."

He's not drooling, but might as well be. As he stalks towards you, he can feel his cock growing in his pants: maybe you'll help him with that? Lend him a quick hand?

"No, no, no, no, Mr. Gavey. We're here for a reason." You stop his advance with a hand on his chest. "We could have a little head start. It wouldn't be the first time." Michael growls, trying to state his dominance.

Your fingers cupping his growing erection shatter any form of control he's trying to assert over you.

"We're going to go to the pub and wait for midnight there. Then, only then, we'll go home and fuck the first day of the new year away."

Michael's eyes almost cross when the pressure around his cock grows; as dominant as he is, he loves when you take the lead and make him behave, makes it all the sweeter when he punishes you for it.

When you two arrive at the pub, there's already loads of people ready to spend the night, groups of friends singing drunkenly over the muted TV. How you and Michael manage to find a small table is a miracle, so is the fact that said table is in a small nook, so that Billy can't see you, not yet.

You two have to sit very close to one another, pinned as you are between two loud groups of people and Michael can't pass the occasion to trail his hand under your, admittedly, short skirt.

"Don't." You chastise him "What? I don't know where I'm supposed to put my hand. We're a little pressed here." He says with a smirk. "You think you are so smart, are you?" You cross your lags and block his advance. "I am." He uses his trapped hand to slide you and the chair closer to himself. "And you will pay for this."

You feel the heath of his words spreading all over your body: you can't wait.

"Promises, promises." You murmur against his ear.

You yelp when his trapped hand curls cruelly on the meat of your tight, the pitiful sound you've just made drowned by the voices around you.

"You're such a bastard, Gavey." "And you love me all the more for it." Michael has to crane his neck to see the counter. "He's back!"

You can't see Billy from your position, you can imagine he's returned from the storage room and it's your time to shine.

You stand up and adjust your ridiculous short skirt, before you saunter to the counter, where your other boyfriend is; you can feel Michael's eyes on your skin, you burn with his desire. Knowing that he wants and needs you makes you wet, that you can reduce his powerful mind to mush makes you ride the biggest power high of your life.

"Hello gorgeous." You position yourself so that your cleavage is in full view of Billy, who stutters and blushes when he sees it. "Two beers, please?"

You laugh when he doesn't move, doesn't speak, just stares at your breasts: have you broken him?

The spell you've put him under breaks when the other server tells Billy to get a grip on himself and he blushes even more, his big blue eyes finally traveling to your face.

"Hi handsome." You repeat. "How? Why? Is Michael here as well?" "Yes, baby. He's thirsty and hungry as well, not for food, though."

If self combustion were possible, your poor Billy would have burnt on the spot: you two are back and all his need for you two explodes in his loins, his cock stirring in his jeans.

"We'll be at the table nestled in the corner." You say and wink, swaying your hips as you walk back, beers in hand.

Thankfully there's too much noise and people for Billy's colleague to truly notice your interaction or the fact that he's far too willing to go around the tables to collect the empty glasses and plates and that he takes a bit too much time whenever he disappears where the table in the nook is, only to reemerge dazed, having being kissed senseless by you and Michael every single time.

When midnight approaches, you and Michael manage to grab Billy, so that you three can be together when the clock on the telly strikes twelve. All the people around you are too busy celebrating, to notice the passionate kiss you three share at the far end of the pub.

No one is surprised when you two wait for Billy, at the pub you and Michael are known to be his friends and have accompanied him home countless times, the only difference is that you two are drinking shots with the staff, this time, whilst the pub gets closed for the night.

How you three make it home is a miracle, full as you three are with alcohol, swaying as you walk to Billy's apartment.

"How long are you going to stay?" He manages to ask in between kisses. "Until the term starts." Michael answers, his hand grabbing Billy's arse. "We'll need more condoms, then." It's the answer he receives.

The three of you might be drenched in alcohol, yet your combined libidos aren't affected, the kisses shared on the way home have only turned you three on even more: you're wet and loose already, your boys hard in their trousers.

You feel their hands on your body when the door of the flat closes, Michael's hands on your breasts, his lips on your nape, Billy on his knees, face buried under your skirt. You moan at the double sensation, Billy's mouth on your clothed cunt, Michael's fingers pinching your nipples over the thin shirt you've been wearing under the corset.

You three undress sloppily, hands in the way, teeth biting the skin revealed. You barely manage to get to the bed, clothes left everywhere, you lover's fingers buried in your cunt, your hands jacking their cocks.

You three fall in a heap on the mattress, kissing, biting, licking, hands exploring, you between your lovers, their teeth on your skin, their fingers fucking your hole and pinching your clit until you come with a whine. You find yourself on your back, legs over Billy's arms, his cock pushing into your pulsating cunt, grunts of pleasure at how tight your muscles are clenching around his erection, your whines of overstimulation drowned by his moans of pleasure as Michael's fingers fuck against his prostate, Billy's cock fucking you following the rhythm the other has imposed.

Billy buries himself inside your cunt when Michael's cock head starts entering him.

"You haven't been playing with yourself." You hear Michael grunt.

Billy's answer is a moan of pleasure, his face hidden against the side of your neck.

"It means I have to fuck you open again."

You can feel the short, deep pushes of Michael's cock as he moves Billy's hips to follow his movements, Billy's moans and whines of pleasure as he tries to move, to push back, but he's stopped by Michael's hands on his hips. Under them, you're writhing and begging, your cunt still reeling from the previous orgasm sends shock waves of pain and pleasure, your clit fires under the pressure of Billy's hipbone, your muscles clench almost painfully around his manhood, you lovers's grunts of pleasure are all you hear, until Billy whips his head back and comes with a shout.

He's trembling over you, his cock still hard inside your hole fucks you faster, now that Michael can push freely inside of him. You can only curl around Billy's body, your teeth biting his shoulder savagely as he pistons inside of you and fucks himself on Michael's cock, your body taking the brunt of their lovemaking. Your hips desperately try to move away, the stimulation too much for your poor body, yet your orgasm crests and crests, until you come, nails scratching you lovers' skins.

They keep fucking you and one another, Michael bends himself over Billy, so that you three can kiss messily, his hands now on your hips to keep you still, make you take it like you should. It hurts and drives you wild, your cunt a fist around Billy, your feet kicking at nothing in the vain attempt to escape the pleasure.

"I can't! I can't!"

You scream and beg, but Billy's cock drags against your G-spot again, the pressure of their bodies writhing over yours builds inside your belly, until it snaps and you squirt with a shout, your lovers following you with grunts and whines of pleasure.

You three are a trembling mess of limbs on the bed, of lips seeking skin, of nerves singing. You are not sure of who cleans the mess and covers your body with the duvet, you are just floating, riding the endorphins high, safe in your lovers's arms.

"Happy New Year."

Someone says in your ear, you can only babble something and curl tighter around whichever of your lovers is the closest: happy New Year indeed!

Cringefail Throuple taglist: @fan-goddess

[serialadoptersbracket]

Round 3, Match 8: Roy Mustang vs. Rune Saint John

Submitted kids:

Roy Mustang: Edward and Alphonse Elric

Rune Saint John: Max Saint John, Quinn Saint Nicholas, Layne Dawncreek, Annawan Dawncreek, Corbitant Dawncreek

Propaganda under the cut!

Roy Mustang:

1. “This pathetic cringefail loser of a man managed to raise and guide two traumatized children into becoming well-adjusted adults. He also gets bonus points because those kids end up saving the world from disaster.

Also he's hot sometimes”

2. “He has two(2) sons!!!!! Weird little traumatized children!!!! He's also soooo dad shaped(a mass murderer)!!!! He such a loser too!! I love him so much I wanna chew on him <3”

3. “ok i'm not into fma buts its a popular source and my oomfs r into it and i hear a lot about them. like top five things i hear about whenever i hear them talk about fma. hashtag war criminal family swag”

Rune Saint John:

“Oh my god, oh lord where do I start. Within the FIRST CHAPTER of the FIRST BOOK he accidentally adopts a teenager in exchange for a magical artifact during a deal with a fae- this teen is Max! He then later adopts Quinn, whos older brother he is dating. Then he adopts the three Dawncreek children after a series of events in the second book that i wont get into due to plot spoilers, but it was ✨traumatic✨ AND the author had confirmed that there will be ANOTHER kid joining his found family in the upcoming 4th book. Rune is the chosen one, there are MANY prophecies about him, to the point that Quinn; who has the ability to see future probabilities, finds it difficult to look at him. He experienced horrific sexual assault, and he just wants to be a decent person and look after these traumatized magic children. Every member of his found family is a chaos gremlin- including Rune. Honestly this book series is so so very near and dear to my heart, and it handles topics like grooming and assault with incredible tact and care and more people should read about Rune and his queer disaster found family.”

[scarrletmoon]

Do you have any Ed and Stede fic you could recommend to me? I love your fics so I think I'd like your recommendations :)

i'm so flattered 😭i barely read anything to begin with for multiple reasons (nothing to do with quality -- i've been in a lot of fandoms and this one BY FAR consistently has the most incredible fic) but uuuuhhhh let's go through my most recent bookmarks!

in case you don't want to scroll through all the rambles (oh and feel free to tag anyone if they're on tumblr, i just linked their ao3 pages):

An Uncharted Level of Waves by Living_City (E)

politely menacing by daydreamcrash (E)

charted by darcylindbergh (E)

serial blusher by daydreamcrash (T)

CringeFail Mob Boss Stede (series) by Panda_Birds (T)

but that's none of my business by chaotic_neutral_knitter (T)

Telescope by Jimsnose (E)

Untitled by oatmilktruther (T)

An Uncharted Level of Waves by Living_City (E)

something about this trans ed fic just got me. something about ed talking about his body with someone he trusts? something about how you can tell how deeply stede adores ed even when it's not from his perspective? also uuummm this has coming untouched, so. i'm a simple man,

politely menacing by daydreamcrash (E)

i'm so stupidly picky when it comes to stede characterization, but i took a chance bc i saw "what if......stede in the cat collar" and you know what. it was fuckin great. i love when stede gets to be the brat. i love seeing ed and stede trust each other. i like when ed gets to dom on his own terms. i love them being disgustingly in love

charted by darcylindbergh (E)

i assume im like, the last person to read this but it's one of those fics that just pops into my head out of nowhere sometimes and i just 🫠 as i said before, im a simple man and i'm a sucker for play that involves one of them trying to distract the other. sexually. anyway it's hot AND shows off how intelligent and skilled ed is. win-win

serial blusher by daydreamcrash (T)

(see sometimes i read stuff that isn't filth!) this fic is SO FUCKIN FUNNY. i just love the fact that ed's spent so long trying to meet someone, but of course the guy he instantly falls head over heels for is the one archie never even considered. it's "stede? STEDE stede?" manifested into a hilarious 5k fic. i love it

CringeFail Mob Boss Stede by Panda_Birds (T)

just gonna rec this entire series bc it's so FUCKING funny. i haven't read Performance Review but i trust sowmz' humor so much that i'm going to rec it sight unseen. they just manage to capture stede's terrible but kind-hearted boss energy without going too far into clueless michael scott territory. also ed is completely smitten and everyone is confused by it. it's great

but that's none of my business by chaotic_neutral_knitter (T)

i've probably hyped this fic too many times but idc. it's 1.5k of lucius losing his mind bc he's CONVINCED ed and stede have something going on but NO ONE will believe him (except exactly who you'd expect)

Telescope by Jimsnose (E)

another one of my always-recs. pretty sure jimsnose has left the fandom at this point but that doesn't change the fact that Telescope is incredible and i hope one day i write something even half as good as this. one thing i love about their writing is how you don't so much read it as let it HAPPEN to you. and sometimes i remember parts of this fic like glimpses through that telescope and it's just so incredibly vivid. you can feel the tension so well between ed and stede here, how much they care for each other, how that breaks them, how it brings them together. and jimsnose so good at what they do that i happily read their Ted Lasso fic. i've never watched Ted Lasso. idk if i ever will. idk what i was doing over there, reading it. but the fics are fuckin banger

Untitled by oatmilktruther (T)

first of all, read anything abs writes on sight, like go sub to them right now if you haven't already (i'm biased but im RIGHT). im picking kind of a weird one but you try and get the image of leather and stede and tongue-tied ed out of your head. right. exactly.

[sylvies-chen]

okay I can’t really tell if the succession girlies are liking these weekly reaction posts but this episode was another fucking doozy! so let’s get into it!

SUCCESSION 4.04 THOUGHTS

greg got off to a rocky start with a few awkward fails but hey, in the end he finally found someone to successfully cling onto that bred good results in a way! tom’s cringefail bf has skill! (sort of)

I have to say my absolute favourite part of this episode was, in fact, the glimpse we got into the tomshiv lore and their beginnings. matthew and sarah truly acted their asses off with that, the way shiv couldn’t handle the physical touch from him because it makes her feel fragile when all she’s ever wanted was to be tough, and him recognizing that but still staying there with her and trying to break through with words

THEY MET IN FRANCE??? HE WROTE HANDWRITTEN LETTERS??? “I LIKE IT ALL”??? oh that is sickeningggg like the writers have really managed to add such a beautiful and soft and romantic layer to tomshiv in the final quarter of the game! they’ve flipped the switch and made me actually kind of love tomshiv!!

rip to the tomgreg girlies tho lol we’re losing bad

kenstewy hug had me blushing n shit, plus the way stewy backed ken up? okay boyfriends!

speaking of kendall… ohhhhh man. I have so many feelings about the turn he’s taken in this episode. it’s so gutwrenching to watch as ken realizes he will never know if his name was underlined or crossed off. those feelings merit a separate post though. coming soon ;)

oh and y’all. SHIV IS PREGNANT????

holy fuck do I ever feel bad for her in this episod btw. I get that she doesn’t have as much experience but ugh, my heart. not only did she get screwed over by her siblings but then having to see tom there, managing this pregnancy on her own, and then tripping over her heels when trying to regain her hardass persona??? it’s like she’s being blocked by a symbol of her womanness and her gender is being thrust in her face practically. it was just. so hard to watch.

romangerri girlies how are feeling tn watching things stiffen between them. because OUCH.

that being said, I cannot even begin to describe the PRIDE that was swelling in my heart watching roman helping kerry pick up her things and see her out, and calling out marcia for being cold and discompassionate too!! think about where he started in season 1 promising that kid a million dollars if he hit a homerun and getting a kick out of watching that kid’s disappointment, just such dickheadedness and immaturity, to where he is now, trying to be a more caring person, refusing to talk shit about logan in the press, helping someone when they’re in distress and being publicly humiliated because he knows how that feels, just— UGH. THAT’S MY BOY RIGHT THERE. I AM A ROMAN GIRLIE TIL THE DAY I DIE.

[stem-sister-scuffle]

STEM SISTER SCUFFLE: ROUND 1 MASHUP 2

Reagan Ridley (Inside Job) vs Futaba Sakura (Persona 5)

Reagan Ridley is a Roboticist!

Futaba Sakura is a Computer Scientist and Hacker/Programmer!

Why you should vote for each contestant:

Reagan Ridley:

"She is my blorbo <333 my specialest little girl <3333 she is going to take over the world with the power of daddy issues, superiority complexes and SCIENCE <333"

"Mommy and daddy issues. In her 30s. A REALISTIC woman witn features that a normal (?) freaking human could have. She's so girlboss and girlfailure at the same time. Just a fucking loser. Nice non-romantic relationship with (male) her BFF (business friend/family forever)."

"guhh shes so cool. emotionally neglected autism lady (also implied bisexual). she made a robot replica of a guy on a dating app to practice date him so she didnt fuck it up. also she works for the deep state. "Who's the weirdo now? Not the girl who invented robot arms to hug strangers! Oh my god I sound insane""

"I don’t think she’s in a specific field other than conspiracy theories. Maybe robotics. She built a robot boyfriend and robot president both of which developed sentient AI, and she built herself a set of robot arms. But she also created a giant sentient frog, like a real frog not a robot, when she was in fifth grade. Autism swag. She goes to the moon and hears that there are moon nazis and goes “have you tried shooting them? It works for earth nazis”"

"she skrunkly, never sleep, tragic backstory babygirl"

"neurodivergent girlboss"

"She is girlboss and she’s cringefail. She made an AI robot president. She made a robot replica of her date. She was uhhh “tweaked” in the womb to be more like her dad (who is also a scientist.) She would prefer to engineer literally anything over dealing with her problems directly. She is everything. Justice for inside job getting cancelled"

"She is absolutely insane, and also relatable. She is severely undervalued in her corporate deep state work environment, deals with the worst situations imaginable on a regular basis, and also cares deeply for the people around her. She is easily the smartest person in any given room and yet she is still very insecure."

"its because shes just like me fr. one small caveat is that i think she's straight in canon. oh well cant have everything"

Futaba Sakura:

"shes a 15yo autist who can take down the in-universe equivalent of anonymous in an afternoon. she has mommy issues"

"she is a silly goofy girl who can also pull insane feats of programming. she can hack into anything. she set up her own giant computer rig. she can remotely tap into people's phones."

"She is so blorbo! She’s very smart and funny, could use her powers for evil (and occasionally causes mischief) but uses them for good, cool character arc, just a silly little guy :)"

"she's silly i like her tetris shirt and she speaks in dorky references"

"technology (shes a hacker??) with a side of science (she has an interest in her mothers work in the field of cognitive "psience" as its referred to in-game!!) uhhh cant really explain stuff well but shes really epic and truly the hackergirl ever. shes cool enough that i partially based a character i recently made off of her tbh"

"Futaba is a traumatized shut-in that hates getting out of her room and interacting with people. She first contacts the heroes by hacking their group chat, asking for them to consider changing the heart of ""Futaba Sakura"".

Once they do, Futaba manages to confront her feelings and trauma and heal. She makes peace with the survivor's guilt she feels after the unfair death of her mother, who was a researcher/programmer before her.

Futaba does a lot of hacking for the sake of her friends, the Phantom Thieves. This also reflects in her Persona Necronomicon. She's the navigator/mission control of the group, not having combat abilities but being able to scan enemies to show their weaknesses.

Futaba's hacking also helps save the protagonist's life at one point. Like that's literally a huge plot point in the True Ending of Persona 5 and 5R. She's amazing."

"She is very good with computers and she helped the Phantom thieves with her hacking abilities"

[cantfuckbracket]

Can't Fuck/Bad In Bed Bracket. Round 2, Side A

Light Yagami (Death Note) versus LD Curtain (The Mysterious Benedict Society TV)

[ID: The unfuckable pride flag overlaid with the "no bitches" meme. Over it are pictures of the contestants. Light is a pale Japanese man with brown hair, shown with an exaggerated grimace; and Curtain has hair slicked to the side and is shown pursing his lips and throwing his hands back. Over them are sparkles and a heart with a butt, and in between them are peach emojis crossed out with the word "vs" in them. End ID]

Propaganda:

Light Yagami: "Man is too up his own ass for anyone else to be." / "everyone wants to be his bitch but hes gay and obsessed with the second worst guy ever (light himself is the first worst guy) women are THROWING themselves at him but he just doesnt care if he saw a vagina he would kill himself immediately and he hasnt seen a single dick in his life either not even his own"

LD Curtain: "He's both a cringefail loser (See: 1. repeatedly beaten by a group of literal children, at one point even saying "they have proven to be my only worthy adversaries" (<- man talking about a group of eleven year olds), 2. screaming at a child, while visibly tearing up, "I AM NOT SAD! I AM *FINE!*", 3. genuinely thinking he can simply say no to having narcolepsy, 4. keeps little painted figurines of his brother and co and does magic tricks with them to intimidate an eleven year old, sincerely thinks this is an extremely cool thing to do), a bad dad (terrible both in the sense that he's emotionally abusive and in the sense that he thinks he's doing suuuuuuuch a good job and he very much isn't), and just like. evil?? but not in the sexy way. and also he's in denial about it which makes it even LESS sexy. Negative sexy if you will. "I'm not bad. who thinks that" sir you are standing in your mind control machine. "Sticky! Friend! Evil is a bit harsh!" sir you psychologically tortured him. anyway he does stupid little magic tricks and is a complete failure but somehow manages to convince everyone that he's charming and actually very cool. while obviously like, starting a cult or being just visibly a cringefail maniac two seconds from flying off the handle. anywya this got out of hand the point is: UNFUCKABLE."

[hqmillioncorn]

When you are near, there's no need to fear!

Cherrypit watched as Babycorn sat on the edge of her bed, her head buried in her hands. Something had happened when they reported back to Minfilia that had caused them to run back to their room really fast. He didn't really get it, nor had he heard what Babycorn had said to her. Not that he was going to get Babycorn to admit to what she had said. She was taking this secret with her to the grave, because by pure luck alone Minfilia hadn't really heard either. "This is the fifth worst day of my life..." Babycorn mumbled.

Lalapril 4/21 Whisper with @windupiceheart 's b'iggy nunh, @umbral-heart 's hanabi and @windupnamazu 's sirius and butter

cherrypit runs around his house and has cringefail moment after cringefail moment. please help him.

“Uhhh, hold on…” B’ig moved his hand around the top shelf.

Given it was much higher up than he could see and Vertical was currently out somewhere mysterious meant B’ig couldn’t ask her to help. It was up to him to get the toy that Cherrypit had accidentally thrown on the highest shelf. 

Cherrypit watched from down below. Curious on whether B’ig was going to be able to reach his toy knife or not. He stood on his tippy-toes to see if he could catch a glimpse of it. Normally Cherrypit could easily float up to the top shelf or even stretch his arms and legs out to grab it but there was one very simple reason why he wasn’t doing that. 

He didn’t feel like it.

So instead he decided to go ask B’ig to do it! B’ig was always so nice and cool and really really funny! 

Cherrypit clapped to cheer B’ig on as he continued to struggle to reach the top shelf all while also trying to keep his balance on a flimsy wooden chair that Cherrypit had brought him when B’ig asked him to get a ladder. “Go Biggy! Go Biggy!” Cherrypit yelled out, waving two actual knives around like pom-poms. 

Suddenly, B’ig felt a sudden surge of energy.  Like he could do anything!

More specifically he could defeat those final few ilms in his way and grab the toy knife that Cherrypit was trusting him to reach. Neither of them knew it but Cherrypit was accidentally using his starsinger abilities to give B’ig Nunh an extra boost in power just by cheering him on. 

“Got it!” B’ig nunh victoriously exclaimed. While striking a pose that was equally as victorious and also very cool and interesting. 

But just as he did, he accidentally happened to lose his footing. 

“Wuh-oh.” There was an idea in B’ig’s head that maybe if he didn’t notice that he was about to fall maybe he would be able to stay afloat for a second or two.

Alas, there was no stopping the act of gravity as he very quickly began to plummet to the ground. 

Or at least, he would be. If a fast acting Cherrypit hadn’t caught him in his hands already. His oversized hands and arms that could grow up to five times their size (or more) with the help of extra muscles being folded on top of each other. Until they were big enough to hold B’ig in a tight grip.  “Yippee!!” Cherrypit cheered, carrying B’ig to the ground wasn’t all too hard. B'ig felt about as heavy as a piece of paper to him. “Yay! Yay!” Cherrypit continued to happily jump around with B’ig in his hands. 

As B’ig’s heart shaped moogle pom continued to wiggle back and forth because of Cherrypit, he managed to weakly ask him to please put him down.

Cherrypit nodded and did just that. Gently dropping B’ig onto the kitchen floor in a faceplant. A soft faceplant. Like landing on a bed of goose feathers if it was a wooden floor. 

B’ig dusted himself off and staggered onto his feet. While Cherrypit tried his best to bite his tail. With his back turned to him B’ig Nunh had no idea what he was doing. B’ig turned around to see Cherrypit looking at him with innocent eyes that told him that he was doing nothing wrong.

“Thanks for the catch Cherry.” He looked at the toy knife in his hand and bent down, handing it to the very trustworthy toddler, “Here you go! Be careful cutting up those vegetables!” Even if they were plastic this time.

Cherrypit smiled and grabbed the toy knife from B’ig. He took time to wildly swing it around like it was a sword instead. Just to see if it still worked, ya know.

B’ig tilted his head curiously, “Does it still work?” he asked playfully.

The process of testing to see if the toy knife still worked of course included biting on it. Cherrypit paused his testing and nodded. “Yeah! Thanks Papa!” 

Cherrypit froze. 

B’ig Nunh stared down at Cherrypit with a blank smile on his face. 

Neither dared make any sudden moves. 

B’ig slowly started to process what had just happened. “Pa…Pa…Pa…?” The room felt like it was spinning. “Pa…Pa…Pa…Pa…?????” His eyes were spinning, his hands were shaking. 

Cherrypit slowly looked up at B’ig, looking at him and then looking at the toy knife, over and over. Until finally he decided that a tactical retreat was the best option. Cherrypit took off running without so much as a bye-bye. He was mortified at what he had just said that he dared not say anything else. 

That was a lie, he did say one thing. 

“Gotta go!!” 

Something that Babycorn often said out loud when running away from situations that she wanted no part in either. 

Cherrypit ran as fast as he could up the stairs of the basement Leaving an eerily still B’ig Nunh behind.

At that point he could almost be mistaken for a stone statue instead of the interesting cat boy he very much was. “Pa…Pa…Pa..” He would remain there for hours until Vertical came downstairs to snap him out of it.

Meanwhile, in the present, Cherrypit had reached the top of the stairs and looked around to see if anyone was around to have heard him calling B’ig his papa. “Blahblahblah…” Cherrypit stuck his tongue out and shook his head. It’s not like he didn’t want B’ig as a papa, it was the idea that he let B’ig know that now.

The concept of being embarrassed about this was something that was probably a bit too early for a two-year-old to have but for better or for worse this was something that he had learned from no else but Babycorn Corn. 

As Cherrypit walked forward he thought about whether his sister had finished cleaning their room after Lunya had told her to. In his thinking he neglected to watch where he was going, running right into a certain someone else. 

“Wah!” Cherrypit exclaimed, he dropped his toy knife to the ground in surprise. 

The toy knife slid across the wooden floor until it came to a stop by the front door of the mansion. “Oh no!” Cherrypit heard someone cry out and then the sound of footsteps slowly followed, quickening in pace as they got farther away from him.

When Cherrypit sat up he saw his toy knife in the hand of someone he didn’t know. Then the more he looked the more he realized the person handing him his toy was Hanabi! She was sitting on the ground next to him, her side-ponytail was swaying in the wind. Tempting him to swat at it. “Did you drop this Cherry?” she asked with a smile. 

Cherrypit nodded, empty eyes sparkling. Hanabi always looked so cool to him. The cool wands she would always carry around…The way cool outfits she would wear…

The way her magic would blow people up! It was all really cool! 

Cherrypit grabbed the toy knife from her and stuck it in his mouth to bite it. Hanabi gently grabbed his arm and lowered it, removing the toy knife from his mouth. “No, no. Don’t stick things like that in your mouth!” She reminded him. 

In response Cherrypit had a great idea. He stuck the toy knife behind his ear, like he had seen a lot of people do with pencils. “Tada!” He held both of his arms out wide. “Thanks Mama!”

Cherrypit froze. Again. 

Hanabi looked at Cherrypit with a smile on her face. She looked behind her to see if Cherrypit was talking to someone else. She raised a shaky hand, pointing at herself. “Ma…Ma…Ma…Ma…? Hanabi would remain there for only a few minutes until the smell of a tasty bread baking snapped her out of it.

“GOTTA GO!” Cherrypit yelled louder than ever. 

He ran up the stairs up to the second floor of the mansion in a desperate attempt to be anywhere but where he had just been.

In his panic Cherrypit failed to notice he was on a direct course of crashing right into someone else. Before he could crash into that certain someone, he was picked up off the ground by the collar of his shirt. 

“Wah?” Cherrypit ran in midair for a few seconds before stopping and being put back onto the ground. When he looked up he saw Sirius staring at him. “Cherrypit be careful. You can’t go running around with your eyes closed.” He reminded him.

Lest they have a repeat of the  incident when Cherrypit ran into someone and knocked them right through a wall.

Poor Andres. 

Cherrypit twirled his fingers together. He really didn’t mean to run so fast and he didn’t want to push Sirius through a wall either! There was also maybe the chance that if he said he was really sorry about running around Sirius would give him one of those really yummy candies he had. 

Then before Cherrypit could stop himself-

“Sorry Papa!” 

At this point Cherrypit was just getting mad at himself. 

Sirius blinked, but ultimately just went with the flow. Cherrypit had called him that (and a lot of other people) that already. It was the same as usual. “Okay, just try to be careful next time.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a single piece of candy. 

The next time Sirius looked down at Cherrypit, he was gone. Seemingly having blipped his way out of existence again. “...Yeah. Okay.” Cherrypit also did that a lot too. Business as usual. Sirius only hoped he didn’t teleport himself onto the roof again. 

Lucky for him, Cherrypit was not on the roof. He had blipped himself back down to the first floor and in front of the door to his and Babycorn’s room. Surely his sister must have finished cleaning the room by now. Right?! All she ever did was sweep things under the bed anyway and eat whatever wrappers were on the floor. 

Just as Cherrypit was about to jump up and reach the doorknob, it turned on its own. “Who there!” Cherrypit hopped back in surprise as the door opened in front of him.

To his absolute horror, out from his sister’s room stepped out no one but Butter Veil. There were a few dust bunnies hanging out in his hair “If you need any more help just call me over!” He waved to someone inside the room, Cherrypit could only guess it was Babycorn. He knew Butter really liked her. 

Cherrypit froze the instant he noticed Butter looking down at him. “Hi Cherry!” he smiled, “Babycorns done cleaning so you can head in if you want!” As soon as Cherrypit noticed Butter move his hand into the pocket of his jacket he knew something was up. From his jacket Butter pulled out a lollipop, red in color. “Here! I know cherry is your favorite flavor Cherry!” 

By now Cherrypit had figured out that the problem was happening whenever he talked to people. So the solution was to just keep his mouth shut of course! So Cherrypit did the only thing he could think of and used both his hands to cover up his mouth. 

“Mpmmphmpphm!” Cherrypit very quietly said. Without saying anything else to Butter, Cherrypit ran past him and into his room, kicking the door closed.

Then he opened the door back up and using an extra hand from his arm he grabbed the lollipop from Butter and closed the door again. “Remember to take the wrapper off!” Butter yelled from the other side of the door.

Cherrypit put his ear to the door and listened to the footsteps of Butter walking away. He couldn’t take any chances. Once Cherrypit thought the coast was clear he took his hands off of his mouth and gave a tiny sigh of relief. 

“Pew…!” Cherrypit wiped at his forehead. Then turned around, the first thing that caught his eye was Babycorn. She was holding a bright pink blanket in her hands, his blanket!

He thought he lost it forever cause he couldn’t find it this morning! “Banwket! Bebe you find it!” Cherrypit rushed forward with his hands held out towards his sister.  

“Huh?” Babycorn looked surprised to see him but her surprise quickly turned to joy as she held the blanket out for him to see. “Yeah! I did! I had to clean the room a whole lot to find it but Butts helped me to and we found-”

Babycorn was cut off by Cherrypit jumping onto her and giving her a tight hug. He grabbed the blanket from her and nuzzled his face into it. He had really really missed it! “Thanks you Mama!” Cherrypit yelled out, as loudly as he could. 

“Cherryyy…! PLEASE don’t call me thaaaat…!” Babycorn said as quietly as she could. 

Instead of paying attention to her, Cherrypit jumped off of Babycorn and danced around with his blanket. “Thank you Bebe!” Thank Mama! Thank Mama!” He happily sang to himself. 

All while Babycorn stood by, completely frozen.

[jay-jp-art]

hey hey, do you mind sharing your akiyama headcanons? just saw ur tags talking abt how theyre dark and im very interested!!!! your fem ryuaki fuels me in ways i cannot describe and i havent even played dead souls FHKGJG and your tanimuras have my whole entire heart!!!

Oh wow first of all THANK YOU for the ask!! It's been only couple days since I've discovered I've had them disabled all this time so I'm very happy I noticed it before you found my blog (,:

I've already complained a bit on twt that when I've started to write down ryuaki headcanons, it prompted me to make a 35+ pages google doc with meta on both of them 😅 It pushed me to write more fun drafts tho, so all is well, but it won't fit in this post for sure ahbfght

But ofc, I will share a little about Shun specifically. (TW for implied SA)

Akiyama... I have complicated feelings about him, because on the one hand, he got betrayed by his closest people, lost all the standing in society and lived as a homeless person for a long time, and that's a big trauma to have. But on the other... He's got back up by a miracle, and now he's trying to recreate the miracle for others. He assumes the role of a judge for other people while himself being too young, too flawed, having black and white morals.

(In Y4 I downright despised Akiyama when he refused a loan to an abused woman on the basis that she didn't want to apply for sex work, but in the same substory gave some cringefail guy 4 chances to complete the test just because it was amusing.)

But I've just completed Y5, and it gave me lots of food for thought.

First of all, from what I see, Shun here was written (rewritten?) as a more sympathetic character. For example, now when it's implied that he's gonna make some woman "use her body" for the loan, it means he's sending her to work on the construction site. Well, alright. I'll take the bad taste joke over previous cases.

There's also an important quest when Akiyama meets his former boss, who not only initially fired him on false accusations, which started his downfall, but also married his ex-fiancée. And Akiyama finally admits that at first, he wanted to use his position as a loan shark to be selfish and to get revenge, but got disgusted with himself after seeing some humanity and principles in the former boss.

So, here finally comes self-awareness about his actions. Interesting tidbit.

Another big part of the character building we see now: when he is alone in Osaka, without Hana around, he's a complete mess. His new office is dirty, he barely eats some instant ramen and clearly just uses the place to escape Tokyo and the responsibilities he created himself. If in Y4 we saw him within his element, managing Elise and doing loan business (with a messy table because he's just soooo quirky and lazyyy \s), then in Y5 we get to see a bit of what's inside his head. And it's not pretty.

He's clearly distancing himself - from Hana and his new yakuza friends, because they have their own lives to care about. (Tanimura too mayhaps, but this is a separate friendship that I also like to talk about a lot)

Aaand he escapes to his ugly nook to have his ugly depressive thoughts. Can't let them witness it, can he? They'd lose all the respect for him.

At the same time, he throws himself into helping Haruka with passion, because that's the thing he actually cares about, for the first time in a couple years. (He also provides her with some much-needed parenting about the importance of being selfish, because, being raised by Kiryu, she's entirely too self-sacrificing.)

And suddenly - he's lively and energetic again, he's bouncing off other characters, he risks his life for what he deems right, he's helpful, organizing, charming. He's everywhere.

(But he's also afraid to acknowledge that he's got too close to people again. So he's ready to literally die for them and Haruka's dream, but avoids calling them friends, settling for "acquaintances")

Not much needed to imagine that, after everything settles down, he falls apart again. Because in his head he's never really needed or too important for the people around. They carry on with their life and plans. Such as Eri, Arai, Yasuko. Even Hana got fed up and left at some point, and has been keeping him at an arm's length since. (Good for her, that was unhealthy)

He's not only not that interesting, his trauma is "ugly" (by his self-admission). It's not heroic and it's very mundane. There's no clear villains to blame, like with Majima's torture in Y0.

It's just - waking up is hard. Akiyama can't see the point in much of what he's doing anymore. Money is just paper for him now, they might have bought him the freedom of choice, but somehow it didn't help. Even with all the financial help to struggling people he can't buy healing for himself. Most alive he felt actually was when he lost the money briefly in Y4 - it made him work to get them back again.

Now it gets a bit tricky, hence the TW.

I think that a lot of things about him actually make sense, if while living on the streets, he had it bad enough to the point of selling himself for food. Like, I don't want to make it into torture porn or downplay the traumatic experience of homelessness overall, but something for sure ruined him and his self-perception. That's why he's bouncing between playing a self-righteous entity and hating himself.

Aside from his crippling depression from all this being shunned deep inside and not addressed, there's the attitude about sex work I've mentioned he has in Y4. He is distancing himself from the situation yet again. A little bit of a trick to calm his mind: "If I treat it like every other job, it won't feel as dehumanizing applied to myself". And also: "Well, I was not above doing that! I was not too proud to do it! Why should anyone else be?"

Now, of course he doesn't want to subject his former boss (and, by extension, Eri) to the same hardships. Even though he is, actually, a bit of a cruel person.

So here's Akiyama in Y4-5. Not super pretty and kind of greasy, but nevertheless charming, gallant and crazy smart. Fighting and dancing and singing and networking equally well. VERY annoying, because he considers himself an expert in all things he read about even once (I also hc him eidetic memory, which makes it worse). And with every year getting more secluded and miserable.

That being said, fem ryuaki has slightly different tone even in all-fem AU because of gender expectations. Akiyama's upbringing for example.

I hc his parents seeing him as this very "proper" son, encouraging his risk-taking neurodivergent activity ONLY when it helped to build onto that image. They happily bragged about their son - with prestigious business degree, good banking job and pretty fiancée. But ofc, when it's all came crashing down, they didn't want to hear about him anymore. Nowadays they acknowledge his existance with some disdain, because they care about reputation more then about him or his wealth. And he has some "disgusting jobs, no respectable friends and no wife".

(It's all kinda complicated from both sides, mb I'll get deeper into it in fanfic that I'm writing)

(And forgive me for saying this, but fem Akiyama is more interesting for me to write in this narrative, because she needed to balance fitting "proper little quiet Japanese woman" with her loud banking career, and while she was always openly feminine, she was never proper or quiet "enough". And now she's "not enough" among actual living legends.)

Well, that's all I have to say for now!

I'm always open for further questions and discussions 😊

[theclearblue]

For the ask game, can I ask for Zoro, Kenjaku and Yona.....

Thanks 🍀

Sure!

Zoro

Sexuality headcanon: This man is as gay as they come. Obviously a big part of his storyline revolves around women, but I've never gotten the vibe that he's into women. The things he says to men ALL the time though...I know what you are...

Gender headcanon: Cis or trans man, either works for me. I've read some really good fics/seen good art of trans Zoro and it makes a lot of sense to me and I enjoy it when I see it, but I'm not really fussed either way.

A ship I have with said character: Zosan forever and always is the OTP for me, and I'm a lot less of a multishipper with Zoro compared to Sanji for some reason lol. I've warmed up a bit on Zolu too but I do still prefer that as more of a platonic soulmate thing, and I know I said I see Zoro as gay but the t4t potential of Zoro/Kiku is quite good too so I'm willing to say he isn't 100% gay because of it.

a BROTP: Him and Chopper are so cute oh my god, the way Zoro acts like a proud/protective older brother to him is really really cute, that's his guy!!! I also LOVE the Zoro and Nami friendship, I think they antagonize each other for fun lmao but I also think they would be really close to each other and have their own special relationship where they can tell each other anything.

A NOTP: Zoro with any woman other than Kiku really, but I know Zoro/Robin is somewhat popular and I don't think I really get it all. I think their relationship/friendship is really interesting especially pre-timeskip where they had to learn to trust each other when Robin first joined the crew, but I think they're just friends who watch each other's backs.

A random headcanon: I'm surprised I don't see this hc more, and maybe it's just me projecting, but this man 100% has ADHD lmao. The way that he gets lost all the time, his hyperfixation on swords and also his dream, his head empty moments throughout the series, how he's somewhat impulsive, and I feel like the meditation/workout routine is how he tries to manage his concentration (also his anxiety).

general thoughts: I absolutely adore Zoro, and he was the one that surprised me the most. I knew about him before starting and thought he would be the "badass and stoic" character that ended up being flat compared to everyone else, and that's just not true. He's SO silly but also has a really good heart and character, that even though he is a loser he is also very cool at the same time. he's more of a simple character but there's still a lot to talk about with him and he's just had consistently strong writing throughout the entire series. I don't talk about him as much as Sanji or maybe even Robin but those three are tied for my fave strawhat.

(Kenjaku and Yona under the cut)

Kenjaku

Sexuality headcanon: Pansexual or bisexual, I think they've lived a thousand years and things such as gender aren't a factor in who they are attracted to. They truly just go for whoever they catches their interest at any given moment in time.

Gender headcanon: Uhhh all of the above lol. Man, woman, nonbinary, no gender, all the genders, whatever they're feeling and however they are perceived is their gender. I think it's similar to the sexuality, you live a thousand years and gender is a construct they abandoned a long long time ago. No matter what I think they're trans though, and all pronouns.

A ship I have with said character: I think every major ship with Kenjaku works for me, and I struggle to pick a favorite. Gojoken, Tenken, Takaken, Kenjin, Mahito/Kenjaku, even Sukuken I find kinda fun lol. If I had to pick one of these, probably Takaken, but I am big Gojoken and Tenken fan so they're close behind.

A BROTP: So the thing about Kenjaku is that they're a cringefail loser and they don't know how to make friends lmao. Maybe Mahito and Kenjaku? I know I put them in the ship category but I think they fit more here, the silliness and horrors they get up to together were a lot of fun to watch.

A NOTP: Hmm I'm struggling to come up with an answer lol. Uhhh I guess the one Heian era character I don't ship with them is Uraume, but I've never actually seen this ship anywhere. Oh I guess if there's any Kenjaku/Yuuji or Kenjaku/Choso I would not be a fan of that either.

Random headcanon: I feel like in the in between time of executing their thousand year evil plan, they sometimes go out every once in awhile like every 20-30 years to engage with human society again and acts like an old man who's never heard of technology lmao. I also think they would say super off putting things that make no sense to anyone like "Man this dish was so much better 80 years ago :(" and the waiter is just staring at this person who looks like they're early thirties at most.

General thoughts: I think they're the most interesting villain in JJK by far, their relationships spanning over a thousand years are messy and mysterious and span far and wide and the small pieces we get are something to theorize on endlessly. I think they are so effective in that they always are doing or saying something interesting/horrific/fun when on screen, but when they are gone that causes more anxiety for the reader. They're a very cruel and inhumane character, but there is almost a melancholic aspect to them too where they have this big plan, but it doesn't even seem to excite them that much. I'm hoping to do a Culling Games reread maybe in the summer mostly just for them tbh.

Yona

Sexuality headcanon: Bisexual but she doesn't know that askhfkl. Obviously she's attracted to men, that's known from the beginning of the series, but whatever she had with Lili....well...I think they had the potential to be more than gal pals given time....

Gender headcanon: Hmm I guess just cis woman. Haven't thought about any other gender for her, and I think that's honestly what she feels comfortable identifying as. If you got any trans/nb hcs for her though I'm open to it.

a ship I have with said character: Have you heard of Hak/Yona....i think they're neat...cool even....yeah most obvious answer lmao but this is really the only romantic ship I like with her (even if Lili/Yona has potential too and I can convince people on the yuri if no other brave soldiers are willing to).

BROTP: All of the dragons, easily. Hak/Yona might be the ship but those five are connected through fate, through lifetimes. it feels like a disservice to pick one over the other even, they all have such a love for Yona and Yona for them, that's found family right there.

A NOTP: I know some people ship Yona with Soo Won and they have maybe my favorite relationship in the whole series, but I just cannot see it as romantic, especially since both have grown so much. Yona's crush at the beginning of the series to me is more "there's this guy I care about a lot, it must be love" and I do think it was/is love, but that's more of a teenager crush that doesn't actually mean anything. Yona loves him, but in a different way from Hak I think.

Random headcanon: This goes more into theory rather than hc, and it may be dreadfully outdated considering how far behind I am, but I don't think Yona will be the ruler by the end of the series (and definitely not Hak for that matter as well). That said I wouldn't be surprised if that does end up being the case, and it would still make sense especially since Soo Won is sick (as far I know), but I feel like her role as this liberator and almost Robin Hood like figure where she travels around to aid people just makes perfect sense for her and the group as a whole. Undeniably Soo Won has been a really good ruler even if he got spot through, you know, murder lmao. Idk I think I need to reread and catch up to really stand by this, but these were my thoughts through a lot of the series.

General thoughts: Yona of the Dawn is my favorite shoujo and for good reason I think, and a very large part of that is how strong of a protagonist I think that Yona is. You see this really compelling arc over the course of the story of her coming of age that I think is really inspiring, where she very much comes into herself fully but also the relationships she develops with everyone are key to her success as well. One of my favorite characters ever go read Yona of the Dawn everyone (<- directed to me who needs to reread the series more than anyone else in the world)

[powerpolyculeshowdown]

scc fans: being cool having fun being dedicated sending fanart

yhk fans: tired dumpster rats writing ten page essays on yhk and how it works and WORDS

anyways more propaganda:

REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD VOTE FOR YHK (AND NOT BETRAY ME LIKE MY FRIEND (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE /lh)):

1. Reader/Protagonist/Writer dynamic, you literally cannot get more cosmic than that. they could not exist without each other. they need each other.

2. the dedication, devotion, gratitude, affection and love they show to each other. the acts of love they express. the fact that each and every action we keep talking about is CANON.

3. the many different flavours of their dynamics and how natural it is. they are cringefail losers, they look at each other and decide that they are forever stuck together. they are all so annoyed with each other, they all cannot leave each other. HSY IS THE BREADWINNER !!! YJH IS THE HOUSEHOLD HUSBAND !!!! KDJ IS JUST THERE AND THE OTHER TWO ARE JUST REALLY FUCKING HAPPY HES THERE !!!! THEY WOULD PROBABLY LET KDJ DO WHATEVER AS LONG AS HE WAS THERE AND NOT OFF DOING SOME BS SELF SACRIFICIAL PLAN !!!

4. the fact each of them have been so intrinsically affected by each other. none of them would have survived without the other two. all of them have been changed by each other.

5. they WANT each other. if one of them went off without any notice by god the other two will do everything they can to make sure that idiot comes home. it’s esp prevalent with the other two abt kdj. they WANT kdj. they want him safe and happy and WITH THEM. they see kdj trying to hide his flaws and trauma and they go “no. we’ve already seen all of it. we want everything. we want every part of you here and happy.”

6. the amount of trust they have with each other. the trust you would need to let someone go, to trust that they’ll come back and come back with the other idiot. the trust you’d have to have to be able to leave everything to the other, to trust that they are doing everything they can on their end. the trust they have that the others can handle themselves. how can you trust someone so much like this? how can you trust that they will follow through? how can you trust so much that you will wait however long it takes? how can someone even take that?

7. they are precious to each other. yjh needs the other two alive because they defy his expectations in ways he never realized could happen. hsy holds every memory she has of yjh and esp kdj close to her heart. kdj sincerely wishes for the happiness of yjh and hsy, he cares more abt their happiness than his own. (what he doesn’t realize is that their happy end involves his happiness too.) they mean so much to each other

8. they chose each other over the world. over themselves. they would hand over anything and everything to each other if needed.

9. “I realized something just then. I managed to get this far because these two lived on their own terms - respected my decisions in their own ways.

I began thinking; with these two around, maybe not all hope was lost, after all.”

10. they are capable of hitting each other on the head when they are reaching concerning levels of stupid. hsy literally crashes a yjh vs kdj fight just to make sure they wouldn’t actually kill each other. kdj breaks yjh out of his uncaring attitude. yjh and hsy would probably beat up kdj every time he went “hey i’m back” if they weren’t also mildly emotionally every time it’s happened.

11. what if my love language was sacrifice

12. kdj’s inner dialogue repeatedly describing yjh and hsy as attractive?? (some of his inner dialogue is peak pining like bro what are you doing 🤨???)

13. wasn’t there an arc where kdj intended to give hsy a love letter for a scenerio but yjh went “this is so bad” and also didn’t they in the same arc have this short scene where they talk abt novels and hsy wanting to write a novel later and discussing genres and then kdj FOR SOME REASON brings up romance?? and then they try to change the subject to jhw and lhs, like. y’all aren’t slick.

14. the book is literally about love and stories and loving stories and human connections and relationships and how stories facilitate connections. like. knowing that and knowing who yjh, hsy and kdj are. they are literally the pillars of the novel. they are so incredibly important to the story not only as individuals but also as a trio.

vote yhk i beg -Toon

im so sorry ur friend betrayed u 😔 all is fair in love war....

[anjelicawrites]

Cringefail Throuple 💡

Decorating Billy’s flat for Christmas is a nightmare because Michael comes prepared with a ruler and a laser level and takes on the role of supervisor. Everything has to be perfect! He even measures the spacing of ornaments on the tree!

Eventually, either reader or Billy start distracting him by blowing him just so the other can actually get the decorations up, and he can fix them later… if he still remembers afterwards.

I have to say, there's more angst at the start than what I originally planned. Fear not, there's enough filth to make up for it!

Warnings: angst, Billy panics a little, quick mention to the car bomb, self-image issues, kissing, oral (male receiving), handjob, ass play, anal (male receiving), hints at cunnilingus.

NSFW and 18+ under the cut!

When Billy comes back home, he can hear the Christmas music through the cheap door of his flat. For a moment he panics, then remembers than now, both you and Michael have a set of keys and you've texted him that you two will be waiting for him. Billy takes a big breath, he's still getting used to have people over to his own place, panicking a bit and he has to tell himself that's you two, who love him and care about him, who will never put bombs in his flat, or his car, if he still owned one.

When he opens the door is greeted by the sight of you, perched on a stack of books, on a chair, intent on putting Christmas decorations on the walls. You're wearing a black jumper, decorated with festive skulls and knee high socks.

"Hello love." He says, over Dolly Parton's singing. "Billy!!!" You turn around, almost losing your footing and Billy has to run to you, his hands around your hips to help you keep your balance. "That's dangerous! Where's Michael?"

It blows his mind that someone as smart as you are, can be so incapable of taking care of themself.

"I've send him on a errand. He was driving me absolutely crazy! He kept moving what I had already set."

Billy looks around his small living room/kitchen area. You've already decorated the small tree near the telly and put Christmas trinkets on all the flat surfaces you can find. There's window decorations as well and now you're nailing fake holly garlands on the walls.

"You don't have to work so hard, you know that?"

Billy blushes as he speaks. Both you and Michael have worked so hard during the finals, he's seen how tired you were, almost burned out, and now, instead of lounging on the sofa, stuffing your face full of chocolate while watching stupid Christmas movies, are decorating his crappy flat.

"Billy." You cup his handsome face in your hands. "You're going to be alone for Christmas, and that breaks my heart, at least you'll be feeling our presences with you."

Billy can feel tears welling up in his eyes, he doesn't deserve you two.

"I don't mind not traveling back to London. I can do without having to deal with all my family for this year. Besides, the pub is going to be opened, I will be swamped with work."

You can hear the tremble in his voice, your heart aching with the knowledge that his family doesn't feel like a safe harbor for him, even though you know both his parents and older sister love him.

"Oh Billy..."

You curl your arms around his neck, your legs finding home around his slim hips, his hands under your arse to sustain your weight, your face against the side of his neck, tears already falling from your eyes.

"Love, don't." He says, voice broken by his own tears.

He manages to sit you on the kitchen table, before hugging you impossibly tight, letting you cry as he tries to not bawl himself, failing. When he feels your arms loosened, he gently cups your face and clumsily tries to dry the mess of tears and make up on your cheeks.

"I must look like a panda." You try to joke as you use the arm of the jumper to dry your nose. "A very cute panda." He kisses your forehead. "Let's go."

His hands go under your arse again, lifting you up as if you weight nothing, before he heads to his small bathroom and positions you on the small cabinet next to the sink. He remains between your splayed legs, his hands grabbing your make up remover and cotton pads to reveal your naked face. You don't like you skin, too many blemishes and imperfections for you to feel comfortable to walk around without, at least, some foundation. Billy loves all of them, all these little marks that draw the picture of you truly are, he's spent hours just kissing all of them, before making gentle love to you. After he's washed your face, he kisses the tip of your nose, his teeth nibbling the tip until you laugh.

"Let's finish before Michael comes home." You tell him. "He's going to be a pain anyway." "What did he do?" He's genuinely curious about the drama. "Ugh! He's just so... gah!" "A perfectionist?" "Lucky that I am in love with him!"

The jingle of Michael's keys is drowned by Bing Crosby singing "Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town", he's not surprised you're repeating the 'You better watch out' line with increasing dread, to Billy's absolute glee.

"We need a bigger garland and the Gävle goat is too close to the Santa and..."

He can't finish the sentence, Billy's hand goes to his waist and he uses Michael's momentum to turn him with his back against the wall, crowding him there.

"Hi genius boy." Billy's body is flushed against Michael's, one hand pushing Michael's glasses over his head, the other bent against the wall, caging the other man there. "Hi Billy." Michael can feel his cock swell at Billy's blatant display of strength; it shouldn't turn him on the way it does, but he's discovered things about himself since he's fallen for Billy, things he's appreciating as the days pass.

The kiss makes Michael's knees tremble, his hands go to Billy's arms to keep himself steady, his mouth already slack, tongue playing with Billy's, filthy moans escaping from their interlocked lips. When Billy grounds his semi-hard cock against Michael's, the Oxford's math genius knows he's done for.

"You coming?" Billy asks, lips worrying the side of Michael's neck left free by his hideous Christmas jumper. "Let me finish here and I'm all yours." As turned on as you are by your lovers's antics, you need to finish, without Michael in your way.

Billy is strong, stronger than Michael is, but he can't throw him over his shoulder, he can only kiss him with ferocity, as he backs him to the bedroom, hands under the jumper, nails raking down his fair skin.

Michael grabs Billy's loose joggers, the two of them almost falling as they slide down Billy's long legs, followed by his boxers, to reveal his, now, fully hard cock, Michael's hand already jacking him with fast motions that make Billy's head spin.

They leave a trail of clothes in their hunger for one another, Michael falls on the bed, legs spread and already on Billy's large shoulders, Billy's tongue licking a fat stripe on Michael's engorged cock, the tip of his tongue licking the cock head like he would a ice cream, his hands on Michael's hips to keep him still, his body deaf to the pain of Michael's heels digging in his back when he deep throats his cock, his muscles tight around the engorged member, Michael's back bowing, hands in Billy's hair, scratching his scalp, pulling at his locks, mewls and whimpers spilling from his parted lips.

Michael wails when Billy's mouth leaves his cock, he was almost ready to come!!!

"Do you want to turn around or lie on your back?"

Michael eyesight is not good enough to see Billy in the dark, without his glasses, but he can imagine the hunger on his lover's face, the slightly reddened skin around his mouth.

"On my back." He manages to say, scrambling back to lie in the middle of the bed. "Great choice." Billy's voice is dark with desire, his pupils enlarged.

He stalks towards Michael, whose legs are already spread, hips pumping against nothing. Thankfully the lube is under the pillow and Billy can pour a liberal amount on Michael's hole, fingers following immediately to prepare him, body pressed on Michael's, lips devouring one another's as his fingers scissor and fuck against Michael's prostate, until he keens, hand curling around his cock to stop himself from coming too soon.

Both men whimper and moan when Billy's cock breaches Michael, slow and deep pushes to open his tight hole, until Billy can feel his lover's muscles giving up, accepting his invasion. It's only in that moment that Billy pulls Michael's legs over his shoulders, folding his long body to start rutting inside of him hard and fast, whimpers and screams music to his ears, spurring him on to fuck Michael even faster, aiming mercilessly for his prostate, reveling in the way Michael's muscles curl around his cock and he has to pump harder, hand around Michael's straining cock, him babbling, his orgasm cresting and cresting, Billy's whimpers spurring him on, until Michael's body bows, ropes and ropes of cum spurting from his cock, Billy following him with a long whimper, hips fucking him sloppily, until he falls next to him, breathless.

You find them on the bed, Billy's head on Michael's chest, the picture of debauchery and, if possible, your cunt is even wetter, their moans and whimpers loud enough to cover the music, making you rush through the last decorations, so that you can join them.

"Love?" Michael's voice is strained from having screamed so much. "Yes?" You answer, absentmindedly. "We need to space the ornaments better on the tree." "Oh bollocks!" Billy swears, arms covering his eyes.

You throw your panties in their general direction, before removing your jumper and socks. You saunter to the bed, right where Michael is laying, still droning about all the Christmas trinkets in the flat.

"Michael?" He owlishly stares at you, eyes not truly focusing without his glasses, as you straddle his face. "Put that tongue, and mouth, to a better use, will you?"

Cringefail throuple taglist: @fan-goddess

[raspberry-fool]

SORRY THERES A LOT BUT (u obvi dont have to do them all): 7, 20, 22, 23, 24, 56, 60, 74, 77!!!! <333333

YAYYY and yeah no i’m gonna do them all 🤠

7. How do you choose which POV to write from? i’m a multi-pov girl and like. every time a story starts with only one pov i promise myself it’s gonna stay that way and every time within a few days of planning i’ve added like 2 more people. so like. cyrelius went from cyrus pov to cyrus and aurelius pov to cyrus, aurelius and rita pov. idk how i decide tho………generally the story idea just comes like that

20. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc? yes. very very many. but especially themes – they’re all (with the exception of anya’s diner and the herodotus one) about revolution. like, always. everything is about revolution. it’s ridiculous (and i love it). also they’re always about love ofc <3

22. Are there certain types of writing you won’t do? (style, pov, genre, tropes, etc) hmmm i’m not sure actually. nothing super dark i think. the darkest i go is cyrelius and even that is still about hope. like even if a story starts really dark and depressing it slowly gets more and more hopeful. also my writing style often has a quite light-hearted tone so

23. Best writing advice for other writers? if you’re struggling with plot, give yourself a visual representation of it. as in write out the main things you need to happen, put them in order, and figure out how to get from one to the other. it’s good if you have separate little boxes for plot points that you can move around. it also helps to be aware of where everything is happening. anyways this method literally saved my life it’s the reason i managed to get the full, detailed plot of sst from scratch. use milanote.com. you’ll thank me later :D

24. Worst writing advice anyone ever gave you? hmm i’m not sure. if someone criticises my writing style, by telling me it’s too pretentious or long-winded or descriptive, i tend to just ignore it because i pride myself on my prose tbh and idgaf if it’s too convoluted. like above all i need my writing to sound nice. i don’t like it to be simple

56. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on? i just said this but my prose!! i’m good at descriptions :] also, my themes & motifs, especially in cyrelius, are pretty cool imo

60. Have you had a writer you admire comment on your fic? What was that like? i don’t think so? i’ve only posted a fic on ao3 once and very briefly (and it was unfinished) so

74. You’ve posted a fic anonymously. How would someone be able to guess that you’d written it? lots of vivid, atmospheric description and everyone talks like they go to a british boarding school in the 1920s agdhfjfj. also a good dose of dialogue that doesn’t take the plot anywhere

77. Do you have a favorite scene you’ve written from [Fanfic Name] story/chapter? ‘they cannot kill us, cyrus, no more than a drop of water could kill the sun.’ OUGHHH but also just for you i’ll post andrea’s first appearance in sst (i love this opening sm):

idiot (affectionate) also:

ANDREA WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

local rebellious teen acts girlboss but is actually cringefail 7 dead 94 injured

[hibernationsuit-remade]

🐁🐌🪱🐞 for tobias and klara mayhaps 👁️👁️ i love them sm btw. omg.

THANK UUUU it really makes my day when ppl say that aaaaa 😭 amazing funny girlboss and her cringefail husband who gets into Situations (tm)

oc ask game

🐁 how are this characters ethics?

Tobias has strong sense of ethics and follows it very close tbh? Like. Basically if we were to make a summary of his thoughts it would be smth like "do good fight bad". Helping others and being nice is what he does and what he sees as a right thing to do. By "bad" though he does not only mean things like "someone beating other person up" but also the in-world system keeping up the unequal divide and worsening it every day. He knows his actions won't affect the world but if there's a chance that speaking up or volunteering to something could make at least some kind of a change or make someone feel safer, he is definitely doing that. Along with that I should also add that Tobias's background is strongly in scientific research, most often having something to do with medicine or researching some health related issues. Science ethics are very important to him <3 (He whistleblowed like three different projects. Two kinda fixed their ways and actually ended pretty well but the third. well. his manager shot him 😔)

Klara's also very into ethics, but she's more flexible in following them tbh. Like yes, most of the time people should be doing what's good and try not to, say, hurt each other. BUT that said it really depends on situation in her opinion. If something bad can prevent something even worse, well, that's the price she's ready to pay. Working in UDL definitely has affected her sense of ethics since she was more mindful of it before. She tended to speak up more often or would never do some of the things she's done at work. Now she tends to worry about it all inside of her head and still continue going like this. :')

🐌 do they carry their home with them or is it a place?

Going for a cliche but. well. home is where the heart is for both of them? 🥺 They both spend most of their free time near each other and absolutely suck at not being together lmaooo

...this then leads to v "fun" situations in Halcyon once Toby wakes up all alone after the 70 year long nap with some mad scientist telling him it all depends on him now oughh 🫣 He's really not having a good time there especially in the beginning. good thing they meet again tho <3

UM that said. I'd also say that for Toby a place he can call very safe and comfortable is a home for him. Klara definitely sees own apartment as a home <3

🪱 would this character move a worm off the pavement or save it?

THEY BOTH WOULD SAVE IT!! Klara would just pick it up tbh she loves nature <3 Toby would take a while bc he needs to find something to move it with bc he is Not Taking Dirty Things with bare hands.

🐞 does this character have any notable accent or dialect? what about other languages?

Never thought abt this before but it's such an interesting topic tbh?? HM. I think Klara would have some kind of Californian dialects, probably more NorCal leaning? It's not so strong due to her spending lots of time w other people and changing soeech patterns, but can still be hear hehe :3 She also speaks Swedish bc one of her moms is from there! She has strong Scanian dialect there bc that's where her mother and some relatives are from hehe

Tobias doesn't have any specific dialects, I think it's more bc he's been moving a lot? Hm. Along w/ English he also speaks some Ukrainian and Finnish bc of his parents (his skills are a bit rusty though bc he barely evee uses them) and some German and Spanish he was learning at school out of curiosity :-)

[bluegekk0]

What is it with anons recently just trapping pk in the most pathetic ways possible

recently? how long have you been here, anon?

it is written in the ancient scripts that pathetic is pk's second name. especially feral pk, with his weaponized cringefail. so it's inevitable that he will end up in situations like these. and isn't that just what gives him so much charm? that despite once being a king and a higher being, he's but a simple creature of cringe and fail? certainly managed to steal my heart, and, of course, a certain nightmare heart

[neverlearnedtoread]

A Curse So Dark and Lonely

⭐⭐⭐⭐; it is a truth solely acknowledged by me that the more cringefail a love interest is, the better the romance

Oh?? 👌😉😏

fairytale retelling! i love retellings of well-known stories. something something telling the same stories as our ancestors and our descendants binds humanity together something something

it takes a while to come to light, but the love interest is one of those 'head before heart' idiots. he's genuinely shrewd, politically savvy, and calculating, i.e. exactly the sort of person who doesnt fall in love easily. which makes him being the 'beast' in this beauty and the beast retelling so compelling! he's trying SO hard to engineer feelings and its just not working 😭

following off the above point: the love interest thinks he is inherently unlovable. nothing is juicier than someone who thinks they're too hard to love being proven wrong!

No.. ❌🤢🤮

isekai story, which as a trope teeters on the edge of losing me completely on principle; Kemmerer did manage to add enough details to keep me from totally losing my suspension of belief

just enough 'not like other girls' energy in the main character to make the first 50-100 pages hard to get through. i know its crazy, but consider: sometimes when a girl is kidnapped it's okay for her to have some level of caution / fear??

love triangle attempted(?) - wild choice from the author to make the guardsman hotter than the prince. i mean i get it, but if you're going to do that, can we not have the reason she doesn't choose him be so obviously and singularly because it wouldn't break the curse?

Summary: Harper, an 18-year-old girl with cerebral palsy, has a lot of problems - her mum has cancer, her father's a deadbeat who left them indebted to loan sharks, and her brother Jake is now working for said loan sharks to pay off those debts. Harper's always felt like a liability - too weak to help, let alone protect anyone - but when she sees a dodgy guy knock a girl unconscious in an alleyway, she has to try. Of course, no good deed goes unpunished - in the tussle, Harper finds herself magically transported to a parallel world with a whole new set of problems, including a cursed prince, an evil enchantress, and no way home.

Concept: 💭💭💭 Honestly, I didn't think too highly of this one! I had heard various criticisms about the prince being too broody and the sense of 'not like other girls' throwing others off, and it was selling itself as an unapologetic YA Beauty and the Beast retelling, so I wasn't thinking that this book would do anything crazy for me because Beauty and the Beast as a fairytale isn't my favourite.

Some spoilers under the cut!

Execution: 💥💥💥 On the whole, this book met my expectations exactly where I held them, which was a typical YA fantasy romance. I hold nothing against books that give me exactly what I expected - if I didn't think a book would suit my reading tastes, I wouldn't pick it up in the first place! I did have a hard time at the start - I'm pretty sensitive to 'not like other girls' vibes, so harper really grated on me, but once she and rhen understood each other better I was having a lot more fun. I kept pinballing between enjoying it (rhen being bad at romance) and rolling my eyes at it (harper being too Strong Women Feminist) through the middle but by the time we hit the 'i have to go home to see my family before its too late' story beat, the book was clawing its way to a solid 4 stars.

Personal Enjoyment: ❤❤❤❤ Despite being a predictable YA fantasy romance, Prince Rhen was a pleasant surprise. It is my personal (and therefore, correct) taste that male love interests are best when they are, at heart, cringefail. Rhen fits this criteria perfectly - he can wine and dine and politick with the best of them, but what he wants to do is save his people, and for that he needs someone to fall in love with him for realsies. He is wholly unable to accomplish both (on account of him being very shit at love) until Harper jostles him forcibly out of his holding pattern - he tells her he's doomed to fail, and she still convinces him to wholeheartedly try. It makes Harper not only the heroine of the story, but specifically Rhen's saviour - that's true romance, babey!! Their chemistry was the cornerstone of me rating the book 4 stars - with special shoutout to Lilith being shamelessly used as a plot device to make the romance go. We love an evil enchantress who is petty and bitchy.

Favourite Moment: The sweetest moment of the book was definitely Harper inviting Rhen into her room after learning Lilith tortures him every night. It was such a genuinely heartfelt moment that brought them together! But I love mess, so my actual favourite moment is when they kiss right before Harper leaves for DC, only for Harper to recoil from the sharp scales growing over Rhen's skin. The horror!! The drama!! The 'if you haven't fallen in love with me at this point, you certainly won't now'!!! and then Harper just going home without any resolution at all. NO ONE ELSE was having fun in that scene but me! and THAT'S BEAUTIFUL 😝

Favourite Character: Prince Vincent Aldrhen of Emberfall, cringefail king. Yes I understand he's horrible for any number of reasons, and no, I will not be retracting my statement. There's nothing more fun to me than a character who is convinced they are unlovable and has the evidence (and track record!!!) to prove it. This dude was like 'kissing this girl i like is more emotionally devastating than being magically tortured by a crazy evil enchantress every night because I will only be able to do it the once'. I can't NOT root for him to be dicked down!!