thinking about the way ghost doesn't hesitate to start killing shadows when graves betrays them but soap only takes one hostage
you can almost hear the voice in his head telling him it doesn't have to be this way; they can still talk it out
"i'm calling shepherd"
his first instinct when confronted with betrayal is to play it by the books: to go up the chain. that goes against everything we've seen him do. he bucks authority at every chance except for the one time he's confronted with the barrels of his allies' guns
he wants a peaceful resolution; for the first time we've ever seen, he doesn't want violence to be the answer. there has to be another fix, a solution that doesn't end with him killing the same men he's been working with; his friends
nothing's happened yet
it doesn't have to go this way
but ghost has been betrayed before. he knows the way this ends; either with him six feet under or his enemy
he doesn't hesitate
it's only when they knock alejandro out that soap shoots; when they spill the first blood and cross a line they can never come back from
only when ghost orders him to run and he has to cover his retreat
and somewhere along the line, between civilians’ screams and taunting voices, between his shaking breath and ghost steady in his ear, that naivety is stripped away; his trust turned to teeth that he uses to sink into throats of men he'd have given his life for
"be careful who you trust, sergeant; people you know can hurt you the most"
he's learned the price of trust
just like ghost did
but unlike ghost, he has someone to guide him through the aftermath
I've been following your gain for years now and it's wild to see how utterly immense you've become. These last 50 lbs or so have catapulted you into an entirely new class. The shape of your face has changed, your belly is massive. It's impossible to imagine that you were ever not fat. 400 seems to be inches away and it makes me think back to a video from several years and several hundred lbs ago when you ate an entire cake, as if to prove you were destined for sheer gluttony and enormity. #SSBBW
you're right about these last 50 lbs, the world has become uniquely tough to navigate in ways that i hadn't experienced as *just* a ~315 lb girl 🥵🥵🥵 seatbelts, arm rests, booth seating, bar stools, bathroom stalls, store aisles, public transit, theaters, salons, dentists offices, finding 5X clothes or furniture rated to 400+lbs, and at a recent checkup, my doctor had to tie two gowns together bc their XXL didn't even come close to covering me 😩
I need more time but time can't be borrowed
I'd leave it all behind if I could follow
Since the love that you left is all that I got
I want you to know