#crossfit fail

[jessyka-fitness]

Crossfit Athlete Motivation | Barbell UP

Crossfit Athlete Motivation | Barbell UP

[Music] Thank you [Music]

[viejospellejos]

“Crossfit”

Aporte enviado por @dreapardextroes [IG]

[lets-lose-track-of-time]

It do be like that sometimes

[bryzcoscursedkingdom]

Perfect Panda 😂

[givemegifs]

[miyuthejellycat]

Returning back to the feelings I felt at the start of Junior Year, I wanted to reevaluate my takes of Kristen Applebees.

She’s still a chaos goblin, I don’t think that has genuinely changed

But she is supporting Cassandra, at least her connection to Cassandra. She is growing, but she’s growing slowly. She is making decisions for her friends over her own self interests.

Kipperlilly Copperkettle says something along the lines of “It’s so nice to see how charmed they are by how little you care.”

Before Kristen and Tracker broke up, Tracker was her entire support system. Her family, her lover, etc. And it wasn’t sustainable, but after Tracker left, it felt like Kristen almost wanted to throw away all of the things that reminded her of Tracker.

Cassandra came from an adventure that eventually pulled Tracker away from her, she got really into CrossFit, she was failing her cleric classes as a cleric who is literally the strongest cleric of this age.

Kristen stopped caring because she lost her support system and refused to build new ones properly.

The way that Adaine got Kristen and Fig to come to the first day of school, the way that Riz became Kristen’s Campaign Manager, the way that Fig offers to help Kristen keep Cassandra alive by becoming a Paladin of doubt-

The Bad Kids are being that support system she needs and as that grows, so has Kristen’s ability to care throughout the season. She faces her parents again to help solve the mystery, she is working on her campaign, and taking strides with her Goddess that she admits is perfect for her.

I love this season so much

[simmyfrobby]

do u have any sports doc recs 🤝

i mean. the crossfit games documentary i just watched was sad but also quite an interesting look at the crossfit community & how people deal with grief. i watch the buttery bros documentaries for this event pretty much every year. the quality isn’t Amazing but they’re free & on youtube & they provide an up close & personal view of the athletes because the guys who make the movies are friends w them so that part is pretty cool.

other sports documentaries i liked:

The Last Dance - basketball series. incredible storytelling. equally incredible soundtrack.

Icarus - cycling doc. slow start but gets REALLY good. deep dives into the russian doping scandal from a few years back.

The Russian Five - hockey doc. it’s on youtube and i think everyone has pretty much seen it by now but it’s just. so good. so devastating.

Free Solo - climbing doc.

Senna - F1 doc. i liked the documentary and thought it was good but senna himself is um. pretty gross. the documentary doesn’t mention it but he dated a teenager when he was a grown adult so. you should know that going in i guess.

Last Chance U - series. the basketball season is good & the first american football season is good too. every other season i kinda hated. it’s a series that follows a group of boys who’ve failed out of university or gotten into some kind of legal trouble & are now trying to impress at a junior college to get back into the competitive sports programs. my mom and i used to watch these together.

MotoGP Unlimited - MotoGP series. this is basically drive to survive if it was good.

Hitting the Apex - MotoGP doc. slightly older but still good. focuses more on VRossi who i think is one of the most interesting motorsports personalities probably ever.

Tour the France: Unchained - cycling series. i thought this was v good even though i don’t typically love the netflix drive to survive type shows.

Cheer - cheerleading series. this one is interesting because the second season takes SUCH a turn. (CW: sexual assault) the first season follows a cheer team throughout their season. it’s happy. lighthearted. cute. the show does really well, the cheerleaders become pretty famous over it. the second season starts with one of the cheerleaders (a fan favourite) being imprisoned for sexually assaulting a minor. so that season then follows the rest of the team & how they’re dealing with that. it’s pretty dark but i found it interesting.

other docs worth checking out:

the first pens cup doc is pretty good. (i watched the other 2 and liked those less). there’s also a documentary called Pittsburgh is Home which i quite liked. not super high quality, but interesting.

ive seen a bunch of the netflix sports docuseries and hated pretty much all of them (sorry) but i will still check out the american football quarterback series just because i think american football is cool.

i watched the leafs all or nothing docuseries twice (TERRIBLE storytelling. really so bad) and enjoyed it for what it was. but man it’s bad. sorry leafs fans. also some very disturbing serious injuries being shown so don’t go into that one blind.

more crossfit & crossfit adjacent documentaries that i liked but that aren’t necessarily Good: FroIVing, The Fittest on Earth (there’s like 4 of these. ive watched all of them a few times), Fullsterkur, Ronnie Coleman: The King.

[republicansaredomesticterrorists]

She went from a failed CrossFit gym and floundering construction company to buying a $10 million mansion.

[nahimjustfeelingit-writes]

what would attitude adjustment sex with Dame consist of??

i had to ask this cause ik he’ll grab his gf by the neck when she has an attitude and hit her with that “fix that fuckin attitude ‘fore i fix it for you”

He already has a lot going on with this new fight coming up and recently getting into a brawl with a rival boxer whose been talking mad shit about him. Diamond Dame is the best boxer to ever come out of Crenshaw, so who is this new cat thinking he can walk around like he can take him on? Dame pulled out all the stops and increased his training. He would spar with Adonis at Delphi Gym as often as he could to keep him in the best shape.

His girl isn’t feeling it. She hardly ever sees him, and she’s very vocal about his absence in her life. Dame understands that and he tries to be available any chance he gets, but with the new fame and the big fight coming up, he gotta put in the work. She ain’t tryna hear it. Her girls telling her to leave him—girls that want Dame for themselves. Her mother doesn’t approve. To her, he’s just another ex-con.

Dame had just gotten finished sprinting the beach and doing CrossFit exercises when he walked into his luxury three story beach home. He’s shirtless, gold chain around his neck with a small pendant, drawstring shorts, and his favorite workout boots on his feet. Sweat is pouring from his body. Before he could make it fully inside, his girl comes down the steps from his master bedroom wearing one of his t-shirts. From the look on her face, he already knew what was about to happen.

“You promised, Dame! You promised me we would spend time together today. You’ve been out since this morning. I’m leaving.”

She’s furious. Dame follows her up the stairs and into his room where she already has her bags packed. He’s pacing back and forth, hands on his hips and eyes locked on the back of her head. He knew he’d promised her, and he will definitely take the blame for that, but she’s tripping.

“You knew what this was when you first got wit’ me. Don’t act brand new. It’s still early in the day. I can take you to dinner after I clean myself up, and whatever else you wanna do, Aight?”

She wasn’t trying to hear it. Dame walks off to his bathroom to turn on the shower so he could try and cool down. She was a hot head just like him. It was best for him to walk away. But, no, she follows him into the bathroom while he’s undressing at the sink.

“It’s too late for making it up, Dame! You hit me up when you’re ready and I’ll let you know when I’m available! That’s how this is gonna work now—”

Fully naked, Dame tilts his head at her and rolls his shoulders. He chuckled darkly, wide smile sending a chill down her spine. She wasn’t going to let him see her sweat. She trains her eyes to stay locked on his, fighting the urge to look down. Dame walks over to her and grips her by the chin.

“Oh, so you’re in charge now, huh? That’s how we doin’ it mama?”

She smacks his hand away and before she could turn and leave Dame has a hand around her neck. She stumbled forward a little, hands up and bracing herself against his tacky six pack still covered in sweat. Dame let’s go of her neck and brings his face close enough to hers where their noses are touching.

“Fix that fuckin’ attitude ‘fore I fix it for you.”

She folds her arms and purses her lips, fighting the urge to talk back. Dame walks away, but his head is turned ever so slightly so he could peek at her over his shoulder. Her eyes fail her and now she’s staring at his body. Why does this man have to be her weakness.

[pippastrelle]

Bulletpoint liveblog of C3E91 let's go!

Second half: Crown Keepers

Oh, is this where the Crownkeepers come in? I heard that. Haha I always wonder what it's like at the studio hiding the fact that, like, Robbie is there.

AABRIA! God, I want to know how her hair and makeup is done. It's so different and so cool nearly every time I see her. She's got such style.

Moment to appreciate the music they play during the art reel at the end of the break.

CROWNKEEPERSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! I actually never fully watched Kymal so the bunny woman was a surprise XD

The collaborativeness is nice, asking Anjali about her sister.

ahahaha god this platform. DON'T WHIPLASH MY EMOTIONS LIKE THIS! I'M CRYING OVER ORYM AND ALL!

….Me not having watched Kymal might confuse me for the next two hours.

Black lipstick will never not get me. Aimee.

Is Dorian going to reply to Orym's message??????

Good on Matt for starting off.

(Pleeeeease may they say this woman's name). Her character's Morrighan. Whoa, a champion of the Matron of Ravens.

The Crownkeepers have been having a real swell time.

(Fy'ra Rai has always been a great name to say). So, sent by the Wildmother to protect them.

Aww, Dorian feeling some consequences of his avoidance.

From an above-table perspective, I'm surprised they're all feeling so lost? I wonder if it was planned and if Aabria's going to suddenly give them a direction, or if they're reticent to set too much in stone?

OPAL'S BETRAYER GOD CHAMPION DESIGN IS SO SICK; I LOVE IT!

Sleep as an exhausting void… Creepy.

"Can I hear him?" "Make a wisdom save." Terrifying. "Shouting at you while running backwards." What a description.

I do love Opal, too. Such a situation but still trying to retain that image of her.

"We gotta get these chuckles out not." Whimper in terrified player.

I love Aabria's GM-ing in a lot of other things (ACOFAF is S-tier), but I think this highlights why I found EXU Prime harder to get into. The Crownkeepers tend to lack a motivating goal from the off-set, making it a bit hard for me to figure what they're trying to do and why.

Still, starting off with PVP might be the wakeup!

HA! Matt Mercer doing the ad read. Love it.

Spider Queen is intimidating and poor, poor Opal.

Holy shit, Opal's raising into the air and burning the forest. Hahaha make Aimee choose which friend to destroy. Awwww forcing her into PvP!

Goddddddd Aabria is the Betrayer God here.

Black eyessssssss. Magic second set of arms.

God, imagine being Aimee rn.

27 on initiative??????

THE DARIAX ROLLS RETURN!

At least Opal can communicate her panic.

HASTE ON OPAL???? HA! VENMO TO HASTE THE ENEMY!

The Dariax rolls balance Morrighan's.

Aw, sweet with Morrighan and Opal whispering telepathically.

Amazing image of stone cold Opal in contrast.

I like how Matt and Aabria pop in with lessons for the others. Nice to see players propping each other up.

CRYSTAL RAPIER? NICE!

"She's just a little guy."

Absolutely fair, seeing weird shit for your Betrayer God Champion friend and just wanting to knock her the fuck out.

Kind of Anjali to tally up the numbers as they roll.

Eeeeeek, ripping a rapier down her thigh.

OPAL DOESN'T TAKE THE DAMAGE????? IS THAT A REACTION OR????

TED!

Hahaha "if Opal did crossfit".

(I googled it. Morrighan is played Erica.)

Oh christ Ted's helping. I wonder how much Morrighan knows about Ted.

"NONONO STOP!" as verbal component for Shield is fantastic.

I don't trust that this is Ted?? Does Ted know Opal's fucked right now??

"Why's the first thing you do drawing blood?" Well, because it's D&D.

Haste lets you go get a hotdog from Arby's. Vax knew this well.

Aabria's English accent is so American-version-of-English but I like how it sounds anyway.

Let the ashhole return, cowards!

Yeah, Robbie, this is a weird situation. Dorian's just choking on his flute. Yeah, trying to restrain Opal is a good plan. NO! NAT 20 minus 1 + 4 plus 13. Aimee/Opal, go! Get! It!

Nice, Aabria, failing forward is a lesson we can all incorporate.

NAT ONE PLUS 13?? ROBBIE! Cannot catch a break.

T_T Fy'ra being betrayyyyyed again. Ooh, very very cool from Anjali calling for a flashback.

(We still never got the response to Orym. Has that happened yet or it that going to be the bookend? I'm curious what this is going to mean for the actual campaign. It's a really fun idea to bring in another GM for a section. Sure, more Actual PlayTM than homegame but Matt at least gets to play.)

Haha Anjali welcome to the DM club! I know about this from the Ginny Di video. Anjali DMed an official lego game.

Can they free Opal?

Ohhh. The Wildmother wants this? Am I misunderstanding? Shit.

They can't separate Opal from the crown.

Love how different people set their dice.

Never take advice from GM Aabria :P

Holy shit these guys roll high.

I hardly ever see people take the dodge action.

I do like Opal a lot.

So the Spider Queen is just trying to full take over Opal. I wonder if Teven or the other Betrayer God Champion had this sort of thing happen.

GO AWAY FOREVER??? THEIR MOTHER DID THIS TO OPAL AND TED?? Evalux? A splinter group? I'M SO CONFUSED AND INTRIGUED! THE BEACON'S INVOLVED??? How tf did they get it in Byroden? So there's a splinter of Luxon followers who split themselves in one life instead? God, I hope the main cast get to watch this.

…..And Opal has no memory of it. Will we ever get this information?

Erica continues to roll like a god.

The turns have felt both long and fast. I've still got, like, an hour and a half.

I love how Matt describes/contextualises things, even as a player.

HA! CYRUS IS HERE?!

ROLL PERFORMANCE FOR HANDJOB

A 7!!!!!

Bless is good. Dariax panicking is great.

XD God initiative takes a long time in a big group.

THE ROLLS! THE DARIAX ROLLS!

Ah! Dariax is a bard! Yeah! So cuuuute for the Double Ds. "THE PERFORMING ARTS IS WORTH IT!"

So. All of them are blind in the darkness. Awesome, awesome move, Aimee.

Hahhahahahaha right. Warlock. No spell slots.

XD It's such a long game. No loo breaks.

SQUIRREL SPIDER FTW

Gotta love Cyrus. "NO DON'T SHOOT!" The himbo persists.

….Matt, what did you get for the WIS save?

PALADIN COMES IN FOR THE SAVE!

Hahahaha "that could can see". Okay. Blind mistystep? …..I'm sure 8 will get it.

Aww, attacking your friend's going to leave a bad taste in your mouth. Lay on Hands is good.

I appreciate Aabria's helpfulness as a GM.

Fy'ra good teammate.

Opal, again, is amazing. I love how she tackles such complex things in her very Her way. Preserves drama and humour in her self-absorbtion.

I wonder how Opal washes her hair under that crown?

Well, some allowance for fighting when Opal attacked them? Obvs harder emotionally than logically.

Aww everyone got to see the memory of Opal and Morrighan bonding.

HA! LOVE FY'RA BEING COMMANDER!

Dorian is forever clanking with all the instruments he carries. T_T 9 to dispel fails. Good plan though. Until back into the darkness he goes.

I like the idea of going back to the Crownkeepers, especially as a perspective on Opal and Dorian, but I'm two hours into this section and still don't quite get the full significance of it. Which is a shame. I still have faith, but I think this encounter would be more enjoyable if I understood better why we were seeing it in the Bell's Hells campaign.

I've always respected Opal/Aimee going in on being the asshole sister. Getting to see that perspective.

The gem flashbacks are cool.

"We can both be coins." "And we're richer for it!" Amazing. Great pun. Love Fy'ra. Love Ted coaching Opal.

Max offering blind Dariax up on a plate. Respect.

I LOVE MATT AS DARIAX! SO FUNNY!

Con sorcerer is smart.

Aabria has no luck against Dariax.

I'm sure that 9 WIS will help perception.

BARDIC COMES IN CLUTCH!

DIMENSION DOOR IS A BONUS ACTION?!

I. Love. Opal. Aimee plays her and her struggles and her relationships with everyone so well and nuanced. Dariax is a well-done character too. Real even behind the humour.

I leapt too, Aimee. Holy shit what the fuck, Spider Queen?

(Fuck you, Twitch, for skipping, my god).

Oh god, Cyrus, don't die.

Nooooo, Dariax. Living nightmares. Him and Dorian seeing their nightmares.

Spider Queen Opal wtf.

Pick up next week? Huh. I… am confused by this. Interesting encounter. I liked the drama between the Crown Keepers. But, again, I don't understand the significance for the Bell's Hells? So I reckon next week will be first half Crown Keepers, second half Bell's Hells. Huh. Interesting episode. It was fun, though I really don't deny still being on the edge of my seat to find out what's happening with the BH.

[fight4me]

Random headcannons of the Radiator Springs folk: an alternative universe telling how the citizens stay (or don't stay) fit.

Fillmore: yoga obviously. And meditation, man.

Sarge: still follows a military regime of fitness. Basically strict pull-ups and military push-ups.

Flo and Remone: they've been secretly practicing ballroom dancing for years. Everything from salsa to the waltz. They tried swing dancing, but Ramon was afraid he was going to get one or both of them hospitalized. He really didn't want to give his wife a concussion. On the Ramon side of things, he may dabble in hip-hop dance and a little bit of breakdancing.

Sheriff: chasing bad guys and naps. But mostly naps lately.

Guido: he's a small guy with incredible body control. He does calisthenics, or street workouts. He has elite level skills. (He can do a full planche.) (This was inspired by going down a YouTube wormhole...) He has some pullup bars and parallel bars he made out of galivized pipe outside the tire shop. The industrial gym vibes. He also does a little breakdancing with Ramon.

Luigi: Owning a tire shop keeps him fit enough, he says.

Red: he'll run firefighter drills and make up obstacle courses. He likes the challenge of making up some sort of agility course and than seeing how long it takes him to complete it. He can do this thanks to his trusty stopwatch.

Lizzie: uses cans of vegetables as hand weights. Don't be fooled, she's stronger than she looks.

Sally: I'm gonna say she enjoyed swimming as a child. But now a days she doesn't really get to, living in the middle of the desert and all that. So now it's walking, biking, perhaps a bit of yoga.

Lightning: traditional gym bro stuff. But with terrible form. Deadlifts with a rounded back and everything. He's one mistake away from being in a gym fail video. (Seriously whatever you're thinking, it's worse.) When Doc was alive he pretty much gave up on trying to fix it and looked away. Cruz however is still trying fix.

Cruz: being a former trainer has served her well. Cruz will do just about anything. Her main jam is something pretty similar to crossfit. She does love her some olympic lifts. She's acquired a hodgepodge of hand-me-down work out equipment from Craigslist, garage sales and FB market place. One of her favorite finds is an old barbell and some random plates. It's a little rusty, not shiny like a new one, but it does the job. Essentially, she'll do whatever you throw at her. One of the cool things is she will jump in on the other citizens' workout regimes, for companionship or to encourage them. Obviously she trains with Lightning the most often, making sure he doesn't die of poor form. She does yoga with Fillmore, pushups/pull ups with Sarge. She'll go watch/do some other calisthenics with Guido. (She's almost got a handstand and L-sit down pat.) She'll run some drills with Red or hold his stopwatch for him. Chat with Lizzie while she does her daily exercises on her porch.

Oh crap I forgot Mater... *mind draws blank. cricket noises.* So, when Mater's not tinkering around the impound or drivin' his tow truck, he rides his old-school bicycle with high handlebars.

[cyberphuck]

ROYAL ASSASSIN ABRIDGED: PRELUDE

My friend Razz wants to understand my shitposting about the Farseer Trilogy, but doesn't want to actually have to read the books, so I'm summarizing them for them (and you)!

 Read previous entries

 LAST TIME, ON DRAGON BOOK Z: Fitz is a bastard who knows telepathy and talks to animals. He's taught to be an assassin, then goes up to the mountains on a mission and completely fails at it. His uncle tries to kill him. His OTHER uncle gets married.

 CAST OF CHARACTERS (holy shit there are so many characters in this book)

 THE FARSEERS

Six Duchies royal family, of which several members are now dead. This will include Farseers-by-Marriage (Dead or head-exploded characters will have their own category).

 FitzChivalry Farseer: The POV character, Prince Chivalry's bastard. Loyal as a K-Pop stan who still has a BTS McNugget meal preserved in their freezer. He possesses both the Skill (Professor X telepathy) and the Wit (Dr. Doolittle animal chats).

 Prince Verity: Currently King-in-Waiting, a lifelong second-in-command who was suddenly thrust into a leadership role when his older brother fucked off to be assassinated. Recently married, super strong in the Skill, does not ask for consent before mind-molesting Fitz.

 Queen Kettricken: Recently married to Verity, she came all the way from the Mountain Kingdom to clean up Buckkeep and be miserable because she's used to doing Crossfit in the snow and now she has to sit and pretend to laugh at other people's jokes.

 Prince Regal: The sneaky, moustache-twirling evil younger half brother of Verity. He killed like four people at Verity's wedding and tried to murder Fitz with a hot tub, and they just sort of let him get away with it.

 King Shrewd: The current king, currently pretty old and afflicted with some kind of wasting disease. Fitz is technically bound to him by a pact he made as a child, but they both kind of ignore that most of the time.

 Chade: King Shrewd’s older half-brother on the wrong side of the sheets. An assassin. Lives in the walls. Has a weasel. Came out of the wall into Fitz's room and taught him how to be an assassin. Sort of a father figure, but the kind that yells at you to hold the flashlight steady while he works on the car.

 Patience: Chivalry’s widow. Helicopter-parents Fitz whenever he comes within fifteen feet of her. The ADHD champion of the Six ooh is that a book on rare ferns?

 NOBLES

 Duke Brawndy: Duke of Ripplekeep, a pretty stand-up dude. Father to Celerity and member of the Fitz Fan Club.

 Lady Celerity: Has a big ol' fourteen-year-old crush on handsome, virile Fitz. She's pretty okay for someone who was named after a vegetable you put peanut butter on.

 Duke Kelvar: Remember him? He finally manned his fucking watchtowers at Neatbay. Fitz fanclub member. Husband to Lady Grace, his young hotness wife whose dog Fitz pulled a fish bone out of.

 CASTLE AND STABLE FOLK

 Burrich: Fitz's primary father figure, the kind that takes you to football games and Hooters to try to flush the Gay out of you. Stablemaster of Buckkeep, and also has the Wit. Used to be heterosexual life partners with Prince Chivalry. Took several blows to the head last book and seems to be okay.

 Hands: Fitz's stablehand friend. He's been relegated to background character.

 Lacy: Patience’s serving woman and bestie. Makes lace, nods indulgently and will stab you.

 The Fool: Albino freak-teenager with a special interest in cryptids and making up rhymes about farting. King Shrewd's jester.

 Justin: Part of the Skill Coterie. Hangs out with Serene most of the time, card-carrying member of the Fitz Sucks and Smells Bad club.

 Serene: The only female member of the Skill Coterie. Treasurer of the Fitz Sucks and Smells Bad club.

 Carrod: Local fop and member of the Skill Coterie. In this book he mostly sneers at Fitz and says cringe things while everyone else is trying to work.

 Burl: Part of the Skill Coterie... is Burl even in this book? I can't remember. Less dumb than you think he is.

 Will: Part of the Skill Coterie. Hangs out in shadows and stares fixedly at people.

 Molly Chandler: A candlemaker and servant who wants to go back to being a candlemaker. Girlboss. Fitz would buy her bathwater.

 Rosemary: Kettricken's page. She's just a little girl. So cute. What's she doing? Oh, she's coloring. Aww.

 Wallace: King Shrewd's servant and sometimes healer. One time the Fool calls him Wall's-ass.

 Bolt: A guardsman who shows up at the end of the book to punch Fitz repeatedly in the face. I only mention him here because he shows up in the next book as well.

 Blade: An older guardsman, Fitz fanclub member.

 ANIMALS:

 Cub/Nighteyes: A wolf soul-bonded to Fitz. Talks in italics. Possesses the single braincell out of everyone in the entire series.

 Sooty: Fitz’s horse. Best mare, perfect cinnamon roll and can do no wrong.

 Vixen: Burrich’s dog. Good dog.

 Slink: A weasel belonging to Chade.

 OTHER NOTABLES:

 The Red Ship Raiders: Mongolian Vikings who have been Viking their merry way up and down the coast, burninating villages and kidnapping people to be Forged.

 Forged people: Zombies. It's a tiny bit more complicated than that, but you don't find that out for another like, six books, so: they're zombies.

 Lady Thyme: A horrible old woman who is really Chade in disguise. The Elderlings: Who are they? What are they? No one knows. 

 DEAD PEOPLE:

 Chivalry: Dead from probably assassination.

 Queen Desire: Regal's mom, dead from drug use but Regal THINKS it was assassination.

 Rurisk: Dead from poisoning by Regal.

 Cobb: Dead from stab by Fitz.

 Galen: Dead from Skill-explosion by Verity.

 August: Okay he's not DEAD, but Verity Skill-megaphoned him and he went to live on a farm upstate.

 Smithy: Went back to his home planet after Cobb hugged him and told him he was a good boy.

 Nosy: Went back to his home planet after saving Fitz from dying in a hot tub.

 MAGICS (I know magic is not a character, but they do have to be explained somewhere)

 The Wit: The ability to “bond” with certain animals and speak with them, as well as sense life force and to do a kind of mental shove at people. You tend to act a little like the animal you’ve bonded to. Witted people are considered gross and animalistic and are run out of town or put to death.

 The Skill: Telepathy. Considered the “birthright” of the Farseers. Most people can sense it at least a little, but it takes inborn talent and a lot of careful training to do anything useful with it. Skilling apparently feels awesome but if you give in to the temptation to fully open yourself to it you can get sucked out of your own brain.

 NEXT TIME: Part one of Royal Assassin Abridged!

[maryellencarter]

so i can't be arsed to actually give this OP the opportunity to verbally jack off at me, but i just saw a post where someone was complaining (validly) about the ludicrously high hardware requirements for upgrading to windows 11 -- i have a gaming macbook made in 2018 which i partitioned to windows and *that* can't even meet the motherboard specs -- but then turned it into a diatribe on how this was only a problem because you, personally, are too much of a little whiner to switch to linux.

and if i could climb through my phone and slap that person's face right off their skull, you can bet i'd do it. linux is crossfit for nerds. the first rule is that you have to holier-than-thou about it to everyone in earshot at all times, and the second rule is to give yourself a repetitive stress injury failing to make it work. not only is linux completely unsuitable for 90% of what people want to do on a computer, its whole design philosophy is antithetical to many of those things, such as "have a program I can find documentation for" and "work without having to write any code myself".

(and, crucially, "not have to listen to linux dickwads being snide in order to find out how to do things". calibre, the drm-stripping software, is a good example: it's permanently on my shitlist because some years ago, i picked it up to attempt to strip some drm as you do, and discovered that the part of the "manual" which would have told me how to do that was "The exact command line to use has been left as an exercise for the reader." Go jump off the continental shelf.)

i'm not turning off reblogs. feel free to share. but if you feel obligated to defend the honor of linux to me, consider that you've been sucking your own cock for so long you don't even realize your spine is stuck that way now, and don't bother.

[givemegifs]

[mollywog]

Which of your WIPs is the most fun for you to write?

I love this question: Thank you for the ask @bodyelectric77!!

I have a lot of WIP/idea’s floating around and they take turns being the most fun…

From my arranged marriage/marriage of convenience fics - Teacher!Peeta has been in my drafts for a while and I am absolutely tickled anytime I can come up with a way to swap the speaker of a canon line to the opposite character… but alas editing the mess has taken the fun out of the process, hahaha

Otherwise, I started Wild Wednesday because all my other WIP felt too daunting and I wanted something low-key and fun, so I’ve been enjoying that.

And because I remember your Wild Wednesday comment on Enobaria - I outlined some of my vision of her in this universe:

Enobaria has goals and she’s not letting distractions get in the way - her determination however is intimidating to most, so her social goals get pushed to the side in favor of her career goals.

Ryen and Enobaria met at a bar - He approached her and she would have never considered him if it weren’t for the alcohol: she’s nearly 10 years his senior and he’s not-her-type but they chat and she laughs and they exchange numbers.

They date casually - They have a sort of class clown/Valedictorian thing going on.

She knows she should end it, this kind of guy is not-part-of-the-plan, but he’s fun and sweet and seemingly not intimidated by her - he’s barely a distraction really and she could think of worse ways to spend her spare time

He on the other hand is head over heels for her - she’s a little bit terrifying and she doesn’t giggle at everything he says like most women, but making her laugh is addictive.

A couple months into dating and she discovers she’s pregnant… with twins…

She’s always wanted children, but had long since resigned herself to the fact that it wasn’t in the cards - the rigid timelines she put on her social goals dictated ages and lengths of time for dating, marriage, and pregnancy- she had failed to meet her deadlines.

Rye is thrilled - he proposes and they quickly get married- him for love and her because it’s the logical decision.

When Enabaria decides on something, she’s all in - her newest goal is to be is the best mother. She buys the books and takes the classes, but each one has slightly different takes on ‘what’s best’. She drives herself mad over the smallest decisions, but Rye is there, she eventually allows him to help. It takes her a while but she comes to terms with her real feelings for him despite their unconventional start - they balance each other out.

She refuses to let her personal life effect her work - picture heavily pregnant and still teaching CrossFit classes

She takes on the roll of Mellark Matriarch - fierce protector of her family including her brother-in-laws and Delly, the Mellark’s surrogate sister.

Rye is a stay at home dad - it’s the job he was born for, but as the twins grow up and get ready to start school, he begins to feel adrift - he has trouble communicating these feelings. Enobaria wants to problem solve, but she’s frustrated when he doesn’t seem to like any of her suggestions, not one to avoid conflict, she initiates their Wednesday couples counseling.

[themculibrary]

Fics With Titles That Start With I Masterlist 2

part one

I don't know what's happening (but I know you) (ao3) - BrilliantlyHorrid phil/skye T, 14k

Summary: As weird as it was, if Daisy was going to be stuck in a bizarro universe, married to anyone, there were way worse options than Phil Coulson.

If At First You Don't Succeed (ao3) - SonnyD sam/bucky T, 8k

Summary: Bucky finally gains the courage to tell Sam about his feelings. He comes up with a list of methods to woo him that were bound to succeed. He didn't account for each and every one of them failing in unexpected ways. The five times that Bucky attempts to woo Sam and the one time that Sam returns the favour.

If I Only Had A Heart (ao3) - Paint_Stained_Heart steve/bucky T, 48k

Summary: T’Challa’s tried to be neutral. “Leave him, take him, I do not care. Just don’t let him injure another soul,” he’d said in one of his rare contributions to the discussion. Steve knew, though, that T’Challa’s hand was being forced; his advisors don’t want to hold the Winter Soldier in expensive, high-security, high-voltage facilities for much longer.

The arguing has, eventually, come to consensus. Bucky’s coming out of cryo today and being shipped back to the United States, to the Avengers tower in New York. The doctors say it’s for further evaluation. For adjustment. For prodding and intel. For one of the most interesting case studies in the history of POW recoveries.

But for Steve, it’s simply time to bring Bucky home.

if you're still breathing, you're the lucky ones (ao3) - Charlie_Balle M, 11k

Summary: >>BLACK WIDOW SPOILERS&lt;<

What if Yelena was just a bit younger? Still a teenager. What if the Red Room cracked down when Natasha escaped? Yelena was plunged into hell. She comes out colder and bitter. She won’t be so forgiving this time.

Basically, what I feel should have happened if Black Widow wasn’t restricted to a PG-13 rating

I Get a Kick Out of You (ao3) - attice steve/tony E, 3k

Summary: He looks Steve over. He's flushed—red-faced, tousle-haired, and completely out of breath. Something is definitely wrong. Tony's first thought is this isn’t possible, quickly followed by how does this pick-up line go again?

Ignore the Story and See the Soul (ao3) - MarcellaBianca steve/bucky, sharon/sam, peggy/angie E, 43k

Summary: Steve Rogers is doing great. He survived a tough childhood filled with illness and childhood asthma to become the owner of a lucrative "box" in Brooklyn, New York, alongside his best friend, Sam Wilson. He also works as a freelance artist and is slowly finding success in that side of his work. Overall, life is pretty awesome.

And then he gets dragged to a yoga class, and a man with a full tattoo sleeve and a devastating smile just might upend Steve's great, normal life.

Or - the yoga and Crossfit AU literally nobody asked for.

i'll always look best in your head (ao3) - ghoultown wanda/vision T, 308k

Summary: “I’ve been searching for half the day for an indication of humanity and life within myself, but there seems to not be any.” He folds his arms over his chest, defeated, “All of humanity seems so probable, so able to change and communicate and connect and live. So possible. And I just feel so...“

“Impossible?” Bruce points to the screen.

Vision follows his finger. He reads the words at the top, large and bold and simple, feeling his body lurch forward to get closer.

The Impossible Man by Wanda Maximoff.

Vision doesn't have a heart, but he could swear he feels his pulse quicken.

-

Wanda has begun to write a story about a man who cannot exist. Vision is searching for an explanation as to who he is. They seem to meet in the middle.

i'll bring you flowers in the pouring rain (ao3) - censored peter/harley T, 6k

Summary: Peter Parker knew that he didn’t live up to the expectations of people.

Harley Keener knew that he didn’t live up to the expectations of people.

In which: Peter is a tattoo artist and Harley is a florist. Somehow, luck is on their side.

I'm Right on Top of That, Tony (ao3) - DyslexicSquirrel E, 92k

Summary: “Excuse me.”

Two heads turned toward him, Ms. Potts standing with a practiced, professional smile. “You must be Mr. Rogers. I didn’t realize the time.”

Stark looked from her to Steve and back, his eyes widening slightly. He got to his feet, shaking his head. “No, uh-uh, not happening, Pepper. Is he even old enough to work? If he says ‘I’m right on top of that, Rose,’ I’m jumping out the window.”

In Every Universe (ao3) - MagicalTear tony/stephen T, 16k

Summary: Tony Stark had been working for the Illuminati for years, doing his share to make the world a safer place as he worked alongside Earth's strongest heroes. He had his inventions and he had Stephen, and for a moment everything was perfect...until it wasn't. Until the Illuminati tore Stephen from his side and left him with a hollow heart.

The last thing Tony expected was for the multiverse to come knocking on their door so soon after Thanos' demise, throwing none other than Stephen Strange at his feet once again. He might have been a genius, but he was not equipped to handle a magic book chase, a teenager in distress, and one mad Scarlet Witch.

Perhaps it was time for Earth 838 to go through some changes.

(Or...grab the second half of Multiverse of Madness and make it IronStrange)

Inked (ao3) - WhoLetThisHappen wanda/natasha, steve/bucky T, 9k

Summary: Wanda had never really paid much attention to the tattoo parlor across the street that Pietro seemed to frequent. The thought of marking one's body in such a way seemed too unnatural for her to care much about the neon-lit building. That was, until the owner of said tattoo parlor came stumbling into Roger's Floral Gifts with an admittedly strange request.

___

A mix of the Tattoo Artist/Florist AU and the Tumblr prompt: Person A owns a flower shop and person B comes storming in one day, slaps 20 bucks on the counter and says “How do I passive-aggressively say fuck you in flower?”

i really (really) like you (ao3) - onsolsix sam/bucky T, 10k

Summary: The date so far is playing through Sam’s mind like one of those old movie reels, and he’s pretty sure his mistakes have overrun the good things. “I stranded him in the middle of this place, spilled his drink over him, and I almost let him go hungry!” Sam pauses and shakes his head, running his hand over his hair before it comes down over his face. “I almost starved my date, man!"

Sam's has a blind date with a friend of a friend of a friend. There's a reason he keeps to the swipe right kind of lifestyle.

Irreparable (ao3) - aslightstep G, 131k (WIP)

Summary: Forgiveness is a journey, or so Tony was maybe told a long time ago. He doesn't know about any of that and doesn't particularly care to. In the wake of civil war, the Avengers remain, as do their enemies. And Tony Stark rebuilds, as always.

He destroys the phone, he burns the letter. But he can't (he won't) eliminate Steve Rogers from his mind.

I Said I Would Never Fall Unless Its You (ao3) - coolpointsetta tony/stephen M, 112k

Summary: “It took me a long time, but I realized my situation wasn’t entirely hopeless,” Strange’s voice was gaining confidence, bit by bit. “In my scouring of the multiverse, I realized that Christine Palmer wasn’t my destiny, but he was. It is written in the fabric of every universe, it is set in stone: Stephen Strange and Tony Stark are meant to be together. No matter where they begin or where their journeys end, they are meant to love each other…”

His voice trailed off a little as he became absorbed with watching his variants dance with different versions of Tony. The looks of happiness on their faces made Wanda’s heart break and her resolve crack, and she was beginning to understand more of where he was coming from.

“But Tony Stark is always destined to die.”

I Saw You Smiling At Me (ao3) - ChibiSquirt steve/tony E, 13k

Summary: Steve and Tony have (finally) gotten together! Now it's time to explore some of their kinks...

I Think We Need Each Other (ao3) - nataliasromanoff bucky/natasha N/R, 27k

Summary: Natasha doesn’t want to work with him.

Bucky doesn’t want to work with her.

But they have orders and a disgruntled boss and a high profile target that just might make these next few weeks worth it. The job, exactly?

Marital bliss.

Supposedly.

AU where Natasha and Bucky are partnered up for a mission neither of them want to be on. There's arguing, insults, anger, and the constant, irresistible urge to rearrange the angle of someone's nose. But it's when Bucky gets horribly injured does Natasha realize that she might need him more than she thinks.

It's all in the way you touch me (ao3) - antigrav_vector bucky/steve/tony E, 25k

Summary: This is pretty much shameless threesome smut. Plot is present but minimal. Consider yourselves warned.

It's A Secret To Everybody (ao3) - Snapdragon_in_the_Snow T, 97k

Summary: “I have kids," Clint said. "I know dad behavior when I see it.”

Tony blinked multiple consecutive times, processing the statement. “Excuse me?”

“Tony,” Steve said now, “how long have you had a son? And how come we’ve never known about him?”

“Yeah,” Clint spoke again, “I thought I was the only one with a secret family. Turns out you’ve had one longer than me!” ------- Peter gets to spend all summer living in Avengers Tower with Tony. When the Rogue Avengers get pardoned and come back to live at the Tower too, they're confused as to who Peter is. However, once they see how Tony acts around Peter, that confusion goes away, as they know for certain who Peter must be - Tony's secret son. Tony and Peter decide to make the most of the situation, and play along. They hope they can keep up the act all summer. But they soon learn that they barely have to act at all.

It Takes a Village (or a team of superheroes) (ao3) - aven_garde T, 33k

Summary: Three months after the Chitauri attack, Tony received a phone call that changed his life. (Or, the one in which a group of remarkable people come together and balance battling villains and raising a child).

i would shower you with roses if only they didn't make you need an epi-pen (ao3) - Anonymous steve/tony G, 3k

Summary: Tony has a plan to woo Steve, and is determined not to let Steve's health issues get in the way.

Which is hard, because giving him flowers make him have a sneezing fit, they have be careful about food because it seems like Steve is allergic to everything, and they end up spending most of their dates in the hospital after something goes wrong.