#culture of bullying

[tomorrowusa]

Oklahoma is not exactly a friendly place for LGBTQ+ Americans. Though some residents are pushing back against the culture of hatred.

Dozens of students at an Oklahoma high school walked out in a peaceful demonstration on Monday to show support for the LGBTQ+ community after the death of a non-binary teenager following a fight in a school bathroom in which they said they were a target of bullying. Nex Benedict, a 16-year-old student who identified as non-binary and used they/them pronouns, died on 8 February after a “physical altercation” with classmates in the bathroom of Owasso high school, according to local law enforcement. Body camera footage later released by police showed Benedict describing the altercation with three girls who were picking on them and some friends. At least 40 students at Owasso high school walked out to protest what they described as a pervasive culture of bullying with little accountability, NBC reported. “I just want to get the word out and show these kids that we’re here,” Cassidy Brown, a Owasso graduate and organizer of the demonstration, told KTUL. “There is a community here in this city that does exist, and we see them, and they are loved.” Vigils have been held in honor of Benedict across Oklahoma and the country, including on Sunday night when hundreds gathered at Redbud Festival Park in Owasso for the teen. Many of the gatherings were organized by LGBTQ+ groups to protest against the frequent bullying suffered by nonbinary teens. “Our children are scared to death and go to school every day, and something has to stop,” one Owasso parent, Susie Eubank, said. “My child has had direct threats. Direct derogatory names.”

The Oklahoma state government is completely controlled by Republicans. On a federal level, both of Oklahoma's US senators and all five of its US House members are Republicans.

One GOP Oklahoma state senator is trying to outdo Trump's "vermin" talk and Ron DeSantis's "don't say gay" persecutions.

State senator 'stands by' beliefs after calling LGBTQ+ Oklahomans 'filth'

Days after calling LGBTQ+ Oklahomans "filth," a state senator issued a statement on his comments, saying he stands by what he said. State Sen. Tom Woods is facing growing public outcry and even scrutiny from those within his own Republican Party. Senate leadership called Woods' comments "reprehensible" and "horrifying." But the state senator from eastern Oklahoma has not apologized and appears to be doubling down. “We are a Republican state – supermajority – in the House and Senate. I represent a constituency that doesn’t want that filth in Oklahoma," Woods said, referring to the LGBTQ+ community during a public event last week. The comments came after an audience member asked Woods about legislation targeting the LGBTQ+ community. The audio was recorded by the Tahlequah Daily Press. "We are a religious state, and we are going to fight it to keep that filth out of the state of Oklahoma, because we are a Christian state. We are a moral state," Woods said.

Yep. Tom Woods defends his extreme homophobic hate speech by referring to Oklahoma as a "Republican state" and a "Christian state". Allowing Republicans to get elected by failing to vote or by wasting votes on third parties empowers hatemongers like Tom Woods.

This is Oklahoma State Senate District 4. It sits along the state's eastern border. It looks like there's not a single notable town in the entire district. Does a tiny suburb of Fort Smith, Arkansas count?

It would probably be difficult to defeat an asshole like Woods in such a district. But electing Democrats in more swing districts would reduce the influence of politicians like Woods.

Look up who represents you in your state legislature – regardless of state. If it's a MAGA Republican extremist, contact your county or state Democratic Party to find out what you can do to help retire the individual.

Find Your Legislators Look your legislators up by address or use your current location.

[proffbon]

How it started:

How it's going:

[shsl-fujoshi]

Hey. There's something I think a lot of my friends need to hear.

When someone online does something, or expresses an opinion that makes you feel uncomfortable, upset, or unsafe, it is normal and okay to want to talk about those feelings and tell people what happened.

It's totally normal to get that off your chest. its normal to tell someone close to you. It's normal to gossip about it with your friends.

Its good to express yourself when you're feeling uncomfortable and unsafe!

But expressing those feelings doesn't have to take the form of a moral crusade.

You don't have to be "spreading awareness" or "calling out" someone when you express the feeling that that person made you feel uncomfortable or unsafe.

There's no benefit to turning those feelings into a crusade, because ultimately, while your feelings are valid, mass harassment campaigns are always a negative.

You don't have to keep your feelings to yourself or hide it when you're feeling hurt or scared by another user.

But don't feel like you need to turn those feelings into a crusade against them in order to feel justified in expressing your upset.

[will-pilled]

Cringe culture ruined being a kid.

I keep seeing the idea that teen members of Gen Z are the last generation to experience an actual childhood and honestly? I agree.

We as a society have made being a child so hostile, so miserable, that kids aren't interested in being young anymore.

How children are constantly told to grow up, how the color has been sucked out of the world, how because of cringe culture children will be fucking torn apart by grown adults all over the internet, how children are experiencing crisis after crisis. Children are shamed for their interests and hobbies and style by grown ass adults and teens who are far too old to be doing this. How kids aren't allowed to be anywhere without being made fun of by adults who are miserable.

Being a child is fucking hostile now, and I don't blame this generation of kids for trying too hard to be mature/grown. Because people treat children like shit, so who would want to be one?

[bottlehawk]

the best thing about going through old posts from 2012 is remembering how people on tumblr and the internet in general back then spoke EVERY other WORD in CAPS LOCK while reacting to things they vaguely liked as if oh my god. OH MY GOD. IT WAS THE GREATEST THING EVER!!!!! while PUNCTUATING THEIR SENTENCES with EXCLAMATIONS!!! but never splitting apart sentences word by word with them as we do more often now and instead

using

the

enter

key

vigorously

for emphasis so that you end up reading everything very dramatically with lots of PAUSES and changes in caaaaaaadence~ and an. ti. ci. PATION!!!

with quirky visual references to accompany this fanciful theater kid julliard applicant text. 2012 was the year of the theater kids and everyone including the theater kids knew it. and nowadays online we're all just lowercase derailing train of thought no punctuation no excitement just mumbling quietly to ourselves snarky hipsters and even when we get exCITED@!!! like this it's intentionally bungled so it's less of you being genuinely enthusiastic and more of you putting on a voice so that you can have the copout of being satirical about being enthusiastic. and this is due to the post-2015 mass surgence of dave strider influenced transmascs being released to mingle with the rest of society coinciding with the great cringe culture epidemic of the mid-2010s. in this essay i will

[snakeautistic]

Two girls (neurotypical) in one my classes were calling each other ‘acoustic’ jokingly. I was bothered by this- they were using it to banter or sort of “play insult” each other. Both of them are the types of people who consider themselves somewhat progressive, and would never say directly that they don’t like/ think less of neurodivergent people.

I guess it really struck me because one of them is one of the girls who pretended to befriend me in middle school, only to mock me. Because I was different, because I was awkward. Because I was autistic. But I don’t know if she even realized that. Im not sure if she even remembers bullying me at all. I’m sure I’m not important to her life. She really fucked up mine. I still get incredibly anxious whenever I’m just in the same room with her. My heart races, I start to sweat, and my mind races with the fear she might see me and judge me. And that’s so fucking unfair. How come she gets to hurt people without even realizing it? Why is it that the people she’s harming are the ones who have to bear all of that?

If she had hated me, felt genuine malice towards me and vowed to make my life hell- obviously that would suck. But I almost wish she had. It’s almost worse that I mattered so little to her, was seen as so much less of real person to her that she could treat me shitty without it ever bothering her. Without ever wondering if she was wrong. I feel something white-hot like rage bubble up in me when I think about it. But there’s nothing I can do. I can’t make her care. I can’t make people sorry for things they don’t even realize they’re doing.

[hulk-]

Read an article by a high school senior today that went, just when my friends and I should be trying out many perspectives and figuring out where we stand, we're self-censoring, following familiar scripts. I had to wonder: if we spend our teenage years afraid that we might share our thoughts in the wrong way or at the wrong moment, how is this affecting a crucial ingredient in becoming an adult: the ability to think critically?

They went on to say, they see teenagers unintentionally becoming more unforgiving and judgmental, as opposed to open-minded and compassionate. And when we can't (or don't) talk freely, we lose the chance to find common ground, acknowledge complexity, or grasp that our own opinions can be malleable. If we listen only to people who already agree with us, we won’t make wider connections. We won't grow.

"In other words, we’re growing older, but we’re not growing up."

I think that explains a lot about what we're seeing online and in other spaces now.

The article is by Zach Gottlieb.

[pigdemonart]

I think its really cute that Manuel gets the most love from comments! I think he deserves it, because even I have dubbed him as the Best Boy. But, Mani has mixed feelings about receiving praise and being considered the favorite. He’d sooner think people are lying to him than believe they actually like him that much. Because, why would they?

His view of himself comes from years of being stuck in the middle.

[gold-snek-hoe]

Hello and welcome to Opinions from an Internet Nobody. Today's essay:

"Ger therapy" is the new "You need Jesus": One Weirdo's Navigation through Cultural Shame

This is a supposedly well-meaning sentiment that is often weaponized against people who are behaving outside of perceived cultural norms. It's a favorite of homophobes who see queerness/transness as a mental illness, but I've been seeing it used to demonize kink (which historically is often linked to queerness), and more generally any "weird" behavior that makes people uncomfortable.

For example, otherkin, systems (especially those with fictives), and people who take fictional characters as partners. Y'know, "weirdos" who "can't separate reality from fiction." And, sure, sometimes there can be a problem with that distinction, but I know as well as you that most internet strangers saying "get therapy" don't actually give a shit about the mental health of those they target. It's code for "your behavior makes me uncomfortable, stop it."

Same sentiment as "you need Jesus."

This has actually taken me a long time to figure out. I've been in therapy for my entire adult life, working through various traumas, severe depression, anxiety, all that. Those were the biggest problems as they negatively impacted, and often endangered, my life. It was only after my hospitalization in 2020, where I was finally put on much needed medication, that I could start to grow into myself.

I changed my name. I top surgery. I came out as polyamorous. I finally got my official autism diagnosis. Now I'm fuckin' married! But... there are still things I'm working through in therapy. Mainly, shame over my "weirder" behaviors. My current therapist has been a huge blessing in helping me accept the things I was too ashamed to admit.

Now, I feel comfortable enough to share.

I'm otherkin. Always have been. My connection to my humanity is tenuous, and I'm sure that's connected to my autism. When mad, I feel phantom horns sprouting from my forehead. I have a tail that swishes back and forth at the base of my spine. In my soul, I am monstrous, and years of therapy has not erased that.

I feel like I'm only half in the physical world most of the time. This doesn't hinder my real-world success (I graduated college Summa Cum Laude, have an IMDB page, and am on my third book), but informs the way I look at the world. There's a whole other universe in my head that hums along with me in my day-to-day. That's part of why I'm so skilled as a writer. To ask me to divorce from that is to tell me to stop existing. Sorry, it's how I've always operated.

Lastly, and this is the one I'm really anxious about, I have a fictional husband. Now, looking at my blog, you might say "yeah, no shit," but I don't just ship myself with him. I mean I practice pop-culture Witchcraft, and the Goblin King is my patron. I mean I have a Labyrinth-themed tarot deck that I talk to him with. I mean I held a ritual to spiritually marry him. Basically, I Snape-wived myself.

And guess what? My therapist isn't concerned. It's not hurting my ability to live my life. I have other interests, hobbies, and goals outside of him, which he actively encourages in all our tarot sessions! I wouldn't be doing this if he didn't support me. My IRL spouse is usually there for whatever magical shit I'm doing, and supports me! Some of my closest friends know, and the only complaint I've gotten is "this guy seems important to you, I wish you told me sooner." Hell, my MOTHER knows and supports me, which is huge, because our relationship was pretty damaged after I came out as trans.

If you have a problem with the way I live my life, when literally nobody else does, take a good long look at why. You don't give a fuck about my mental health. You just don't like that I'm weird.

Tl;dr: My mental health is better than it's ever been since embracing the weird, so leave me and my imaginary husband Marak Sixfinger alone.

[medi-bee]

These are the guys who have total martial control over the center of the galaxy? are you sure?

[smultronviol]

Honestly I think the most unforgivable crime comitted by the new ATLA adaptation is bringing back the fucking kataang/zutara discourse🥰

Like, I can forgive a lot, but I can't forgive the fact that my own eyes, in the year of our lord 2024, have to be subjected to takes I first saw on 2011 DeviantArt

[ndcultureis]

Autism culture is getting bullied for making a mistake and not knowing why you want to cry so badly when you don’t care about their comments.

Ps: how do I deal with bullies? I’ve tried talking with them, they just laugh at me. I’ve told authority figures (teachers, etc) and they talk to the dudes and it only makes it worse.

.

[milf-harrington]

i keep seeing people say "oh eddie would be x in a modern au" "eddie would be y in a modern au" and im ???

a modern day eddie would still be a metalhead dnd player who's probably read the LoTR triology more than once; he'd just also own all the movies and know a bunch of useless trivia about the actual filming and production.

he'd probably still be a drug dealer, still gets held back a year in high school, probably has a second hand phone with a cracked screen that he only uses to listen to music, skips class because his teachers don't like him, runs a dnd club either in the drama room or the art room, either forges notes to get out of phys ed or just doesn't show up, he strikes me as someone who enjoys the process of burning music onto cd's so he probably has a bunch of mixtapes in his glove box and steve would hate driving with him bc his car wouldn't have an AUX port or anything so he'd either have to listen to the radio or eddie's music

a modern day eddie would still be eddie, he'd just have the luck of getting to experience all the nerdy shit that comes out after the 80's and also modern technology

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

NPD culture is

@

YOU ARE AN AUTISTIC KID ENTERING SCHOOL

@

DUE TO YOUR DISTINCTIVE AUTISTIC RIZZ KIDS DON'T REALLY LIKE YOU

@

KIDS EVENTUALLY START BULLYING YOU BECAUSE YOU DON'T STOP TRYING TO INTERACT WITH THEM

@

ADULTS IN YOUR LIFE TELL YOU THAT IF YOU STOP PAYING ATTENTION THEY'LL STOP BUT THIS IS BULLSHIT

@

AS A BONUS YOUR PARENTS GIVE YOU MIXED MESSAGES ON THEIR ATTITUDE DEPENDING ON IF THIS DAY YOU'RE A "genius child who knows numbers and can remember 30 facts about sharks every day" AUTISTIC OR A "unfunctional puppet who is out of energy and can't even write 5 words on her homework and only wants some peace and a nap and doesn't want to do any intellectual bullshit" AUTISTIC TODAY

@

HOWEVER ONE DAY YOU DISCOVER THAT IF YOU HAVE SOME SORT OF POWER ARTIFACT ON YOU, PEOPLE CAN TREAT YOU LIKE A LIVING BEING AND NOT LIKE A ROTTING PILE OF TRASH

@

PARENTS ARE MORE NICE WHEN YOU BRING HOME GOOD GRADES

@

CLASSMATES WANT TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOU WHEN YOU GET A PHONE WITH GAMES AND LET THEM PLAY

@

TEACHERS DON'T NEGLECT YOU WHEN YOU BEHAVE AND SUCK UP TO THEM

@

NPD WIN! NOW YOU KNOW THAT TO BE LIKED BY OTHERS YOU HAVE TO BE SOMETHING YOU'RE NOT AND YOU'LL BE LOVED AND CHERISHED PROPERLY!

@

... ONLY FOR A SHORT WHILE THOUGH! REMEMBER, YOU CAN'T WEAR THE MASK FOR LONG! IT STARTS TO SLIP BECAUSE YOU ARE AN IDIOT WHO CAN'T DO THINGS RIGHT! AND WHEN YOU LET THE MASK SLIP AFTER TWO THREE DAYS OF PROPER BEHAVIOUR, THE HATRED IS BACK! THE DISGUST IS BACK! THE ANNOYANCE IS ALL THE WAY IN!

@

It got less intense with time, though. As you grew out of elementary and out of middle school, people became more decent. Sure they don't like you, but they care abouy their reputation now. They know that if you see a weirdo you just have to wait until they're gone, that saying someone that you want them dead is rude, and that bullying is a waste of their precious time.

@

BUT YOU KNOW! YOU REMEMBER!

@

AND WHEN YOU FAIL A TEST, YOU REMEMBER HOW MOTHER USED TO YELL AT YOU AND TEAR OUT PAGES FROM YOUR NOTEBOOK SO YOU OVERWRITE YOUR HOMEWORK BECAUSE IT LOOKS INCOMPREHENSIBLE!

@

AND WHEN YOUR DESK MATE IS NOT SITTING WITH YOU BECAUSE SHE'S. WELL. SICK AND CURRENTLY AT HOME, YOU REMEMBER HOW NOBODY WOULD SIT WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU WOULD DISGUST THEM TOO MUCH FOR THEM TO EVEN TOUCH YOU, LET ALONE SIT WITH YOU OR TALK TO YOU!

@

AND WHENEVER YOU SEE A TEACHER THAT ACTS LIKE A TEACHER YOU REMEMBER THAT IF YOU DON'T TRY ENOUGH YOU'LL BE HATED AND NEGLECTED AND HAVE YOUR COMPLAINTS DISREGARDED BUT IF YOU TRY TOO HARD YOU'LL BE HATED TOO BECAUSE NOBODY ASKED AND LET OTHER PEOPLE ANSWER AND SHUT UP PLEASE

@

You will always know that people hate you. They showed you that when you were supposed to learn how to interact, so now that's what you learned. You know that you have to do your best to be treated like a person. You know that everyone still treats you like trash and hates the very existence of you but by occasionally throwing in something redeeming you can try to survive a day. You know that your parents are your friends, as long as you perform well and are a good daughter they can show off like a medal. You know that your peers are your friends, as long as you're funny but not like you really are good but not best not best but not horrible communicable but not clingy but like things they like but don't like them too much but express some emotions but not too much wtf but talk to them but not speak too much and speak enough and do enough but not too much but you know what forget it, just be a comic relief to keep them entertained (but not genuine or they'll hate it). You know that teachers are your friends but... Oh, they're not, sorry. They're like parents, but don't care about your success, they're more unstable than children and more crushing than parents and you have no idea how to suck up to them in a way that makes them treat you well

@

You figured the world out! Except you fucking didn't.

.

[the-sweet-hibiscus]

On the Topic of Christina Strain & SaB

So while browsing the hellscape that is Twitter today, the first thing you see in the Shadow & Bone Fandom, is this exchange between Christina Strain (a producer/writer on the show) and a fan.

And I didn't think this would be necessary to say, but this is EXTREMELY unprofessional on the part of Christina.

But I do want to take the time to look and explain WHY from the perspective of someone who is a professional creative by job description. Christina, openly, speaks about her time as a writer on Shadow and Bone. Which is well within her right, as a creative, many times the appeal of following is for behind the scenes takes, more insight into writing decisions, and generally furthering the interest in a show / property after it has concluded. Especially if the conclusion was incomplete and/or canceled before the full story was told.

So here we have a situation.

The Question:

So the question Merel (the fan) asked was about the obvious sidelining of Alina Starkov, our main character. It's not an opinion that Alina was sidelined, it's been observed numerous times, most recently in this collider article talking about / reviewing the blatant reduction of character for Alina.

Merel's question, originally was about S3. Specifically, where was Alina, was there ever a plan for her? Originally, Christina just said, there was nothing written for Alina, and she had a vague idea of a separate storyline.

To which, Merel responded with the wide-spread rumor that Six of Crows, had been rejected by Netflix three times. For reasons not relevant — that rumor isn't true. But she also expressed frustration, as since the announcement of the show's cancelation, Christina specifically has given an overwhelming amount of attention and care to Six of Crows, while not seeming to have any real passion for the Shadow and Bone property or it's characters. Christina's response starts out professional. She clarifies, Six of Crows was not rejected (aka the rumor wasn't true) and that she didn't have control over that decision, which is true.

Where Christina stops being professional, is the other half of her response.

The Response

Here is where so many people take offense, and find issue. Christina, openly shames the Darklina ship. Which isn't inherently bad, no one is forced to like a ship, however. It had NOTHING to do with the question at hand. Just because a fan likes a certain dynamic, of a ship that at one point was canon, and likes to explore that, doesn't mean that they don't know what they're talking about when they're just asking about the future of a character. Merel didn't ask "Oh, how are you going to make this darklina?" She didn't even mention the ship. The only reason Christina even knew about Merel's shipping preference is because she either went on Merel's page or looked at the "Relevant People" column on Twitter for Desktop.

And now we venture into a much worse territory.

Bullying

Let's take a look at the power dynamic in this exchange.

Christina has 9.58K Followers on Twitter. Merel has 114.

Christina is a producer/writer on the show. Merel is a fan.

Christina has a self-appointed responsibility to promote the petition to bring her show back. Merel is a part of the larger community who supported the show. Christina is 42 years old. Merel is 19.

Instead of, ignoring the second response. Or even just clarifying the rumor and moving on, Christina decides that it'd be best to expose this account to harassment from her much larger base. Who responded in kind.

What was the reason? Truly?

Fans are supposed to only engage with a show if it matches how you specifically view it? They can't have questions, or criticisms, or thoughts? Because what was so mean about Merel's statement? What was insulting that Christina had to bring in shit that had nothing to do with the conversation? The rumor accusation? Is that worth getting attacked over? Is that worth attacking over?

The Correct Response

Move on.

No one would have an issue if the conversation ended a tweet earlier. Christina has over 9K followers, anyone could reasonably assume she was simply inundated with responses and couldn't/wouldn't respond further. Her first statement, was fine. To book fans, it may be frustrating, especially if they believed the rumor, but it was still a calm-ish response.

Merel could've been frustrated and that would've been the end of it. Instead, Christina decided her best course of action was to attack a fan, just because she enjoyed the same ship dynamic as people who were rude to her before. Decided to belittle that fan's interest in her show, bc she didn't like the way that fan interacted with them.

It's childish. It's gross. It's lashing out at someone b/c they want to know why the main character wasn't paid attention to in their show.

Anyway, it's clear Christina has a definitive disdain for the darklina fans of Shadow and Bone. It's clear she doesn't respect the people who support her show — unless they just unconditionally praise it. So that's it then. A disappointing end to Shadow and Bone, and an even more disappointing showing of character from the producers/writers.

[3v3ry0n3z-fav3-al13n-x3]

L3arn3d h0w 2 mak3 bl1nk13z c0mpl3t3ly 0n mah 0wn!! >_<

f33l fr33 2 uz3 1f u hat3 @/dni-archive :33