#cus like. I do still see cool stuff there and other people seem to enjoy seeing my studd there

[if-loki-was-a-fox]

Can- can I start one of those homoerotic love-hate one sided vendetta type relationships with Instagram

[fadebolt]

I've seen some people posting their attacks collection from this year, so here's mine:

With the lovely targets being:

1. meowynn

2. aquaticnebulae

3. soul-sylver

4. sb-is-a-thing

5. saintwyrm

6. bindibites

7. phishtoast

8. pansear-doodles

9. toiletpapericecream

Decided not to ping them here, since I already did it once when I posted the attacks individually. But these are their blog names, and they're cool people with cool art - so feel free to look through their stuff!

This was an awesome first year of Artfight! Huge thanks to everyone who sent me their creations involving my powerswap scugs, I adore them all quite a lot! And thanks for all the wonderful comments and reactions to my attacks as well!

You guys were wonderful, and I hope I'll get to see you next year as well! :)

(Bonus ramblings about AF thoughts below cut. Be warned, they do be lengthy)

So when I was starting out with the site, I looked around on the internet to see what people had to say (out of curiosity, and to maybe find something helpful). And apparently, there are a bunch of entitled users that complain if the art you send them isn't "high quality" enough, or if you don't send a revenge for their attacks.

And I'm just sitting here, and wondering which Artfight did these people show up to, cus I've frankly never seen a person like that. Everyone was super sweet and appreciative when I attacked them, and I received zero scorn from attackers I didn't revenge. Perhaps it's something that happens only outside the Rain World community?

Anyhow, I ended this year with a solid 9/5, which might seem like rookie numbers for many, which... is actually kind of fair, considering that I am technically a rookie.

I really didn't expect to get attacked at all, considering that my refs were slightly rushed, and not particularly polished (something I'll hopefully get around to addressing in the meantime). Though I did have hopes that sharing my profile on Tumblr, and some Discord servers might help.

Funny thing is, I don't think any of those 5 people came from there, as they haven't interacted with me on Tumblr yet, and they haven't joined the servers that I was in. There's no way for me to confirm this, but they probably found me while browsing through the AF website itself, which is extremely flattering (especially since I initially thought that folks usually just attack their friends... turns out that ain't quite the case).

But this also proves that my theory about people liking powerswap Slugcats was actually correct! Which is great, cus they're a blast to create, and hopefully by next year, I'll get to have the other half of the cast (name ideas are 'Lightcat', 'The Crusader', 'The Solitary' 'The Augmented' and 'The Gambler', but it's all subject to change).

There were also some of my OCs which showed up in my attacks - I'm planning on adding them in, too. (So if you like necromancers, wizards that copy the spells of others, and weird fanchildren of niche ships, then I got some wonderful news for you!)

Speaking of my attacks, I definitely didn't draw nearly as much as I did for Art Month. That's because I decided it would be better to take things a bit slower, to have more fun, and avoid burnout. As I would rather send over a few attacks that I enjoyed, than to rapidly rush out like 60, to hit as many people as possible.

Sure, it'll mean that I won't get to attack as many people, but I still think it's worth it, as I get to enjoy myself more, while my target gets a better piece.

I was slightly concerned that a lot of people would find it insulting that I used a randomizer to pick targets, but nobody seemed to mind, which is great. After all, there were no bad intentions on my part, I just simply had too many people I considered worthy of being attacked, and I needed some outside help to combat my indecisiveness. There's simply too many great artists in this community!

My list consisted of SC members that stayed (I was grateful for their efforts to keep the place alive, and I felt this would be a great way to thank them), some other people from the fandom that I liked, and my attackers, who were given a multiplier of 5 to their chances, cus yeah xd

There were over 30 people there, so it's safe to say that I didn't get to most of them. I think next year, I'll give them increased chances too, and hopefully, I get around to most of 'em. (Unless I'll have to work on my thesis in July... I don't quite remember when that's going to happen. Hopefully, that won't be the case, and I'll have a bunch of free time, like this year, and I'll be able to do more than 9 attacks then. Fingers crossed)

So that's pretty much all I wanted to say here. I'm not sure if I should post any updates or uploads I do to my characters there btw. I suppose we'll see.

But the event was real fun, and I'm looking forward to experiencing it again!

[jeonpurr]

dance with me

index:

warnings: hate comments, use of inappropriate words, social media is not a jolly place. tw if you're sensitive.

rating: 18 and above

Viral

you had an aim to wake up today, so sure of what you wanted to do with your time. wake up early, get ready, and walk to the cafe to grab yourself a cup of hot mocha and a tiramisu pastry to go. to go find a park to sit at as you enjoyed the cool breeze the rain last night left.

however, none of it goes as you had planned. instead, you wake up with a headache and to the sound of your phone blowing up with notifications from Twitter and Instagram.

you get up and get yourself a cup of coffee and clean up the bed and brush your teeth as you finally feel somewhat alive. you pour the coffee into a cup and drink the first sip feeling better and better with each sip.

you pick your phone up and open the app that first pops up, Instagram. okay, well you seem to have a lot of comments. you click on the video people have left comments on and check them out, smiling thinking they are good comments but instead, they have tagged his account and left multiple hate comments.

you roll your eyes as you scroll through the comments.

'attention-seeking bitch. Do you think wearing short clothes will get people to like your videos? you suck at a dance just admit it.'

'jeez, what's with your noodle legs.'

'too skinny

'too fair'

'can you even see with those eyes'

'fucking flat, what are you trying to show

'@jeonxxdance oppa look at the bitch trying to defeat you

'jungkook is still better

'what is this crap'

'How did she go viral'

'jungkook would never be with you girl give it up

'stop trying

well, that's a lot to take at once. you posted a small dance video to the song my oh my by Camila Cabello yesterday night. you were not wearing anything revealing. just a pair of shorts along with a black crop top. you are surprised this video has almost a million views and it does have a lot of likes so it makes you feel a little better.

jungkook is another dancer. you both don't have a beef, at least you know he doesn't. however you only dislike him because he gets the pretty privilege and he doesn't even put too much effort into his content, he posts dance videos once a month and the rest is about his gym updates, yes you stalk him. you however put your everything on the table only for it to be the untouched dish all night.

you both follow each other, he has 678k followers and you have 457k followers, not too far behind but it does make you mad.

along with the comments, there were also a few new followers. you check your dm's too cus they were pretty much blowing up too. you open your requests and they were all from the same people who were commenting. there were a few sweet messages to which you reply.

there was one messege that caught your eye. it was from him. you don't exactly hesitate to open it, expecting another hurtful messege.

'hey y/n, i wanted to apologise for all the stuff you had to read. i don't know why people cant chill when we never had a fight. i am really sorry. the video was amazing btw, going to try and learn it :)'

what the fuck-??

jeon jungkook.

jeon jungkook just texted you.

jeon jungkook just texted you saying hes sorry?

jeon jungkook just texted you saying hes sorry and that he will learn the choreo?

are you hallucinating?

theres no way that king ass just dropped an apology for something that isn't even his fault?

you reply back, not wanting to think too much about it.

'hey jeon, appreciate it and goodluck haha :)'

you turn the phone off and slam it on the kitchen top.

well, that was not how you expected your day to start. that's alright though. it doesn't mean you wont go on with it, you still have work to do. getting up and washing your mug you just had you energizer in, you take a shower, putting in your sweet time. you shave your legs, wash your hair, trim your eyebrows.

taking longer kept you away from facing the real world. even though you didn't really think you minded the comments, you did. subconsciously you wanted to cry but you know better.

after about an hour and thirty minutes, you come out of the bathroom with a robe on your body and a towel wrapped in your hair. you dry them off a bit and plop on the bed.

you pick up your phone again, seeing more notifications from Instagram. glancing through some more comments you open your dm's again only to see 3 messages from jungkook. is he okay? is he sick?

you open them.

'thanks!'

'Also, the third step I can't make it out. it's kinda hard to do man, how did you even do it?'

'jeez it's been like an hour I haven't been able to grasp it, you wanna come over and shoot it with me? like a collab?'

truth is, he isn't really having a hard time figuring it out but jungkook really admires your skills and he doesn't like how much hate you have been getting simply for posting a really clean dance video. he wants to help in every indiscreet way so it takes the limelight off of you.

people think you both have some feud but you have never really spoken. only liking each other's posts once in a while or wishing happy birthdays, but really that's all.

but why? why is it that all of a sudden he wants to be more than just mutual? why is he initiating a possible road down the lane to friendship? you don't understand but you reply with a 'sure, when?'

and move on with your day

[justalilpearlie]

hi guys dont mind me being insane again

im not tagging this too much cus its more of a personal ramble cus idk im feelin silly today and the BPD hits too hard. i wont be explainin what BPD is either so if u dont know either look it up or ignore this post,,

man i. have you ever loved someone so much you cry? /pos

like man i. its not romantic, may i clarify. most of my fps, except for my main one, are platonic. one of them is familial even

but i just. i feel like such a parasocial freako but i genuinly feel so intensely. its so positive too. if you ignore the crippling paranoia i always have abt my fps hating me or me being so intense they get uncomfortable...

but i just??? im not. normal about them.

i dont wanna sound creepy but they make my world so much better. id take a bullet from them. if give anything for them to be alright. i genuinly just REALLY enjoy their company and knowing theyre having fun with me aswell. knowing they enjoy me as a person. that im not a nuisance for the people i love the most.

and gosh i really hope they dont see this. i would feel so ashamed and embarassed if they did.

luckly i have better ways of copying with distress, attachment issues, jealousy, possesiveness, and all that other FUN (not) stuff that comes with BPD or rather specifically having an fp. A nice trustworthy psychologist (if u can afford it) does wonders to you, let me tell you.

its still hard sometimes but ive learnt to deal with it in ways that arent destructive to my relationships with those around me. i can cool down and such instead of lashing out or splitting for the most minimal things.

but now. for whatever reason. i went on a huge "positive" ramble instead. it was meant to be appreciation at the time, and still is, but i feel like its something that couldve scared them off. i showed some stuff to irl friends and online family, and everyone said theyd feel very appreciated if someone told them that stuff, but i cant help but feel is because they're my loved ones also and stuff. i really. really feel like i was too intense. i suck at showing affection in a normal way, a calm way, subtle way, like a normal person.

at this point i think. sigh i think its better if i just say nice things anonymously. i think if people, in general, not only my fps. but if people dont know affection comes from me they'll take it so much better than if they know its *me* in particular. and idk why! its just my brain being stupid again.

brains love doing that, dont they? being stupid. telling you everyone hates you oh so much no matter what you do. that theyre lying behind your back, and hate you in secret, theyre just being polite and allat.

well let me tell you, dear reader, whoever the fuck might read this, specially if its from the bpd tags: thats not true. sure, there might be assholes out there, but those people you think hate you despite how close you are, most likely dont. and i cant even get this through my own head but my sister repeats it to me all the time. "[name] talks so nicely about you and seems so happy seeing you". even then its hard to believe, i gotta stare at nice screenshots ive saved where i believe ive done something good, something worthy of appreciation, something that has not only meaning but an impact, a possitive one. and i know the chances of them actually hating me are low, but i still believe more in those chances than the proof.

i feel a bit delusional in a way. and i mean, i am, often times. but this is one of those thoughts- those god dammed thoughts where you're self aware yet- yet it doesnt shake the feeling away, you know? like no there is no proof, no logical proof at least, only what your mind twists into proof. but you still just "know it", yknow? even if you dont actually know shit and are very wrong. you feel like you do and it- it fucking sucks.

dont even get me started on splits and mood swings, highs and lows. Cause well. THATS NOT THE TOPIC OF THIS POST !! Lmao. i could go on for hours complaining tho. ough.

but yeah!! i just !! sorry, this took a turn. i just. needed to express myself idfk. i'll go back to posting abt minecraft men kissing soon or whatever, sorry normie followers /hj

i love them so much its overwhelming, yet i wouldnt change it for everything in the world, you know? not them. its hard but id rather endure it for them than have them not be THIS level of special to me anymore.

i really REALLY hope theyre not. uncomfortable by it tho. and wont dump me for it. i really wish i had a guide to how to and how to not mess up. so i could avoid doing dumb shit on accident.

and its funny cause theyre ppl that would absolutely tell me if im doing shit that bothers them, yet i believe theres smth else, stupid thoughts man. LEAVE ME ALONE FREDDY MERCURY!! UR SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD !! /ref

sighhhh anyhow yeah im dropping it here. bpd is a bitch. and to anyone out there dealing w it? godspeed. you can do this, i know life already sucks and this shitty dissorder doesnt help, but i know you can push through, mi gente bella.

Pearlo out. BPD hours rlly seem to be hitting at around 11-12 am, huh? /ij

[rsquid2]

Finished Olypian Affair, heres all my various thoughts, spoilers if yall care about such things

I feel like the book moved very fast, perhaps thats a side effect of me reading it in about 12 hours but to me it didnt feel like that next book in a longer series, more like the second in a duology. As I was reading, and after while I was thinking about it, it felt like Things just Happened.

I distincly remember thinking that at some point in the next few books Espiria was going to turn on Aurora, only for that to happen the literal next page.

Everything in this one felt like a massive escalation from the first book. Everything feels bigger and higher stakes, which is not a bad in of itself but it felt like 3 books worth of escalation crammed into one.

We get the whole story on the Perilous, which like, neat, I kinda wish he'd dragged that out for longer, like, maybe only releaved the strictly releavent part and kept us in the dark for a bit longer.

Characters fuck alot in this book, like it feels a little excessive, it almost feels like Meatsmith has got somethin going on between this and warriorborn, idk maybe this is how is writting always is ive never read his other stuff.

I am once again expressing my hatred of it being a post-apoclypic earth, albeit not ours cus crystals were still a thing before the fall or whatever you wanna call it. I hate it, I really dont think it has to be earth, you can even still do the thing with Tyranima, it just feels a little lazy imo

That last chapter was fuckin wild. An archangel just, shows up, and has a conversation with the spirearch and Maul. Which like, why is Maul there??? It doesn't seem like he'd care I guess he does tho.

I kinda hate they introduced those crystal zombies, cus they are zombies, explictly have to go for the head, made of dead people, its just zombies, I hate that they put them in so early, cus either we are never going to see them again, or they are going to become a regular enemy which our heros can dispatch with ease. Neither of these options are good.

I do like that he left Gwen on the surface, I kinda expected the epilouge to go "oh and gwen got rescued shes fine"

Ferus is fucking dead!!!! That's just sad.

I do think on the whole everyone is charactized pretty well, no one feels wildly out of character. Some characters have changed but it's been 2 years if they hadnt it be weird. There were a few times were it felt Gwen was uncharcteristly slow on the uptake just so things could be spelled out to the audiance.

We got a little more lore on how the crystals are made, they grow em like the fuckin crystal grow kits from the craft store.

Abigal, I like that she's a character, I like that she's like a spy, I think thats cool, I love Hamish and Tilde. I hate where the book left her and Bayard, which i'd imagine is the point

There was no mention of Rook, at all, which like, yea he's a dick and I hated him, but It feels like he got retconed out of the story. Even when recounted the Pererlous Incident, they dont mention him. So either the admiralty wrote him into the Incident for whatever reason, or he has actually be written out of the story as a whole.

Overall I did like the book, despite what this may make it appear, I did enjoy it, now I guess we'll wait another 8 years for the next one!

[hanjifuck]

.˚｡⋆ ༊ .˚｡⋆ stray kids ideal types - series .˚｡⋆ ༊ .˚｡⋆

lee know version ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ

based on their birth charts! s2

✧*:.｡. t/n: i’ll be using SIDEREAL astrology on this one. it’s also important to say that when we talk about romance in astrology we have to fully analyse the couple’s birth charts individualy at first and only then apply compatibility analysis so we’re able to check out the synastry overlays.

✧*:.｡. t/n: kinda proofread.

firts of all, i'll be taking a different approach to minho's birth chart as his' way different from chris'. with him we're gonna look at other placements.

let's use Lacan (1985) as a method to examine the relationship he has between the "i" and the "others". when we look at a Möbius strip it's possible to see that if we turn one side of the two surfaces of the band, we find ourselves outside, while the other finds itself inside the circle. which leads us into thinking about how much of "i" is in the "other" and how much of the "other" is in "i". even if we look at houses of the self, it's percepcion will only be seen on others. our notion of individuality is created trough the mirror offered by the other (the mirror stage).

the basics:

someone who has the sun in gemini, libra or aquarius;

moon in cancer, scorpio or pisces. leo and aquarius moons are a NO;

venus in aries, aquarius or sagittarius;

jupiter in gemini.

obviously there’s way more aspects to look into to see if a relationship would work but i’d rather not go too deep into it right now.

a person who above all things is his friend first. he wants to make friends with the person he likes because he's not the most romantic.

someone full of surprises, who excites him in differents ways everyday. boi wants an adventurous and unique love. he loves the drama and the unexpected.

a person who has knowledge about unusal things/likes to read about all types of things. interesting personality is a MUST for him. he loves being around strange people because he doesn't want to be bored. when it's about fun he likes to engage in all sorts of not-usual activities, what seems the strangest is also what’s best.

not-into-fairy-tales-romance type of person. he wants to be around someone who's interesting and makes him curious, so their meetings are most of the time unusual. i don't think you should expect the whole wine and dine type of thing from him, specially because he can give you way more. <3

someone who likes being around groups and is good at socializing. i know this can trigger some people but hear me out, he's happy when collaborating with others and functioning in groups. when he's having fun he wants to be part of the noisiest events, so it’s normal to see him at concerts or big art related events.

a non-judgmental person. it's not that he's scared of you "not accepting" him or whatever, believe me he does not care about this. he has to live to the fullest and to be unusual. he expresses his creativity in his own way. he wants to feel excitement when it comes to a relationships, so if you're too worried about what other people will think it won't work.

a person who wouldn't be a strict parent, if it's a long-term relationship we're talking about. his kids are very likely going to have strong aquarius/uranus energy on their birth charts, meaning his chiquitos would be as accentric as he is. he wants his children to express their individuality and be themselves. he's really good with children as well, having a great way of communicating with his kids, making them mentally strong and independent. yet he may tend to stress his kids with education stuff related cus he feels they should pursue their interests. cool dad™. will be good friends with his kids (the children will be as funny as he is).

someone who's not traditional. a rebel when it comes to love and don’t prefer to date the traditional way. he wants to fall in love with your mind. his dating ways can be unusual, maybe online since he has a kick for technological advancements. he can be strange when it comes to sex as well.

but is still a 100% monogamy. the king needs to rule ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. he wants to be the center of attention, he can be a bit domineering even. he may be a bit possessive or jealous, but tries to hide it. expects absolute loyalty from you. his kinks? a lot of love, affection, and admiration.

a person who's not scared of experimenting. he wants to try everything at least once.

a "modern" person. minho has always been interested in technology. he gives me big nerdy energy. he's quick to respond to his creativity urges.

someone who has a longing for learning. he enjoys traveling and learning about technology, psychology, philosophy etc. deep and philosophic conversations are a must (but don't get it twisted he enjoys humor more than anything). he's unhappy with what he's being given, he's always looking to improve things and his thoughts.

a person who's comfortable with silence as well. even tho he loves having fun with other people he's still kinda a loner who doesn't need to interact with other humans or to talk very much.

someone passive. would like it better if the person's willing to give him the spotlight. wants to be paided attention to, wants you to worship him. his fantasies probably revolve around devotion. ofc he enjoys giving his effort to you as long as he receive the same back, too. disobeying is a no.

a feminine and elegant person. rude or harsh behavior and crudeness about sex are a no. you must have a sparkling physical appearance as well.

easy conversationalist. def not into monosyllabic communicators. he's prideful, he won’t back off from a conflict that involves his own principles so it's essential for you to be good with words, too. fights can be commom in the relationship.

someone who enjoys praising him. don't forget to show your appreciation for all that he’s doing. wants you to see him as the confident man that he is and the man that will fulfill all your dreams.

a 100% honest person. you deceive him, he will just leave and not turn back. he finds it hard to forgive. again, he wants his partner to worship him. he works hard to make sure you leave idolizing him, so his feelings will get very hurt if he finds out later on that you were “faking” things. he will feel inadequate and insecure.

patiente. he can be easy to offend or to be hurt quite easily. you may need to walk on eggshells sometimes. when you first meet him, he might come off as a bit unattainable but don't be discouraged.

a person who doesn't get scared by his feelings. when he's actually in love, he will fall head over heels. if he thinks you're a match he wants to make sure nobody else will ever get you. he can easily get caught up in the moment and be impulsive. he wants to attract your attention as soon as possible after he realises he loves you, and it will be in an obvious and eccentric way. he wants you to remember him for a lifetime. his placements makes him one of the most emotional individuals, he feels love, anger, disappointment, happiness and so on, at a much greater level.

someone who stands out. he has always attracted a lot of attention since he has a gravitational energy, so it won't be just anyone who's going to catch his eyes. as a child, he felt very different from the people he was surrounded by. he loved and still love anything that is labeled as odd by others and he likes to feel like he's strange.

someone who's interested in humanitarian work.

a person who's flexible. he needs someone who's willing to take risks with him. someone who's in to enjoy the ride.

[kingkatsuki]

Seeing all the discourse about tumblr algorithm n interactions n tingz

I still don’t get why people really struggle to just do the right thing. Like bro atp it’s easy as breathing.

I literally like and reblog just abt everything I interact with that I enjoy (on both my main and side). Majority of the time with at least a few comments in the tags if not on the reblog itself (tho that’s more on the writing side blog than the main for other random shit lmao).

‘S Kinda sad cus atp I think a part of me has accepted that aside from moots i’m prolly never gonna get the interaction I desire. Majority of all my notes on my writing blog? Just likes. I get reblogs here and there but most of the time that isn’t even on my actual content. Just other stuff I’ve reblogged.

Not to say I’ve never gotten reblogs on content I have created myself, but it’s a stark contrast to the amount of likes. And it’s is extremely rare that a non-moot will leave a comment or tags.

Idk. Just makes you feel lonely sometimes? Cus it’s not even really about trying to be famous or have a lot of followers anymore lmao. Just want people to talk to.

It’s understandable you may not want to reblog absolutely everything. Not even I always do it. But the vast majority of the time I am doing it. Because people deserve to know that something they created actually touched someone?

Screaming into the void is valid and what most blogs have to start out doing but that should not have to be something they have to deal with forever.

Cus at that point what even is the purpose of posting works to some website if you’re basically still just keeping it to yourself?

People have said it time and time again, but likes are worthless here.

Like if you equate it to instagram I guess (so maybe ppl will understand it better)

Tumblr likes = Instagram views

On instagram views are cool and all, but they’re faceless and don’t really do anything to promote a post and allow others to see it. Even if there are a lot of views, it isn’t extremely validating (high numbers or not). It’s the people in the comments saying stuff that matters, and likes that help the post. Like Instagram views, Tumblr likes do nothing and though there may be a lot they are not really validating or helping the post.

Tumblr reblogs = Instagram likes (+ shares)

Both of these functions on the respective websites help a post to get more seen. Instagram likes only function is to help promote posts. Tumblr’s reblogs are a little different in that you have to ability to say things while you help promote (in tags or on the post itself). Basically they’re like instagram likes and shares smooshed together. If you don’t want to do the extra work of using your words fine, but at least actually share the thing you are enjoying so others see it. Whether or not it matches your theme or not, do it. It’s your blog and if you like a post then yeet it on there. If your followers (if you have any) followed you for a specific type of content and your worried about them, fuck ‘em. Share what you want on your blog.

Tumblr comments = Instagram comments

This one is self explanatory they are the same ooga booga

N e ways that’s a lot of words I’ll get off my soapbox now.

Love u Jo 💋.

I was done talking about this but you put so much thought and effort into this Dere I think it deserves to be addressed.

Especially the point you made that it can be so lonely on here sometimes and I think it’s hard when everyone already seems like they’re in their own little friendship groups and stuff. But like some of my closest friends on here are my friends because we reblogged each other’s fics and screamed in the tags!!

I think people tell themselves “oh that person won’t care if I send them an ask/message.” But it’s like they would, everyone would🥺💕

[capricorn-stark]

Othello Pt 2

pairing: jason todd x reader, reader is a psych major because i think the concept of psych majors in Gotham is funny lmao

warning: i wrote this at 1 am again, kinda long, swearing

a/n: i mention Dana Harlowe and Annie B’s diner, they’re both from RHATO’s final two issues lol. still dedicated to @tadpole-san even though she hate crimed me 

part 1

“I thought you said you wanted to get coffee,” you started when you noticed Jason veering away from where your regular coffee shop should’ve been, choosing to cut through the street and venture to a different path entirely. “Because you just-”

“Yeah, I know, I’m hungry,” he declared, slipping his hands into his pockets and tilting his head towards another row of stores illuminated with neon-lights and flickering street lamps. “This place has better stuff than overpriced coffee, promise.” You let out an exaggerated gasp of shock at that notion and he laughed, nudging your shoulder with his. 

It was always strange to be walking around Gotham during the night, but with Jason by your side, it was far less worrying than it usually was. On your own, you couldn’t even imagine traveling around the dark streets littered with muggers, petty thieves, and the occasional evil clown prince or two - one minute, you’d be speed-walking down the streets, the next minute you could end up as the lucky winner of Scarecrow’s fear-gas testing special.

You actually knew someone who had been in that very situation. They were in Arkham now.

With Jason, it was almost ridiculous how much safer you felt. It didn’t take a whole lot of observational skills to notice how the men who usually leered at you and your friends when you passed shrank and slipped into the shadows when a man over 6 feet in height and built like a tank walked past them. Jason himself was in a good mood tonight, his shoulders relaxed and a slight smile playing at his lips while he told you about the local theatrical-adaptation of Othello that was currently under production near Gotham University. 

You were getting used to seeing him like this - not so moody, smiling, present - but you had also noticed the expressions he had when no one was looking, when he wasn’t thinking about anything in particular, when his gaze had a certain intensity to them that you hadn’t ever quite seen before. He didn’t really like talking about himself or his life, preferring to keep conversations centered around school or you. The few times you had tried asking about his family and work had all led to him clamming up and quickly dropping the subject, his body language rigid and completely closed-off, the crease by his brows deepening as his expression transformed into a scowl. It was the first time you realized that Jason Todd could actually be genuinely scary - and the first time you realized there was a much, much darker side of him that you weren’t sure if you wanted to see.

You knew it wasn’t your place to pry, and you had never brought it up since - but you couldn’t help but wonder just what had happened to make someone like him so angry. 

“...and I figured we could - did you just zone out on me?”

You snapped back into attention at his rather dramatic tone, flinching out of your character analysis to pay actual mind to the man in question himself. 

“No, I just-” 

“Yeah? What did I just say?” Jason challenged, grasping your arm to pull you away from the traffic lane you had nearly walked right into. His disbelieving expression made your face burn red - but much to your relief (and embarrassment), he was laughing. 

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t completely zoned out-” 

“After you literally walked into traffic? Yeah, I can tell,” he deadpanned, tugging you towards him right as the cars slowed to a halt, the pedestrian signal blinking above you. The sudden action and the sudden closeness made your face heat up - something he apparently noticed when his bright green eyes flickered across your features and caused a smirk to tug at his lips. Instead of the teasing you had braced yourself for, you watched as he tilted his head towards the diner across the street, letting go of your arm. “It’s right over there, c’mon.” 

He was already moving towards the crosswalk when you shook yourself out of your stupor, quickly moving to catch up with him and glancing up at the diner. The big glowing red letters on the sign beside it read “Annie B’s”. 

“They got good food,” he explained at your questioning look, leaning forwards to swing the door open for you. “I used to hang around here a lot when I was a kid.” 

“I don’t think I’ve actually seen this place before,” you commented, entering and hearing Jason close the door behind him, taking a quick glance around before you took a seat in one of the cherry-red and white leather booths. “Kinda wish I had.”

The entire diner had a vintage touch to it, from the luminescent pink and blue lights lining the ceilings to the multicolored tile floors, the cherry-red barstools, and even the jukebox in the corner cranking out old-timey tunes. There were only a few other people sitting at the bar and chilling in a booth a few down from your own, all too absorbed in their own worlds to pay much mind to the two of you. You could hear the sizzling of the food being made back in the kitchen, emitting a heavenly aroma that made your stomach growl not-so subtly. Jason laughed as he slid down across from you, sliding one delicate paper menu over as he scanned over the other. 

“Pretty cool, huh? And like I said, they got great food.” He nodded at your stomach and you rolled your eyes, eliciting another laugh from him. “Knock yourself out, ‘cus dinner’s on me.” Before you could open your mouth to object, the kitchen doors flew open and a woman stepped out holding a heaping tray of food. 

“One chicken fried steak with a side of mashed potatoes and rings,” she announced as she set down the trays in front of a man sitting a few booths down, already moving to refill his glass with a pitcher of water. “Enjoy your dinner, Phil.” 

“Thanks, Dana,” the man told her as he picked up his fork and gave her a crooked-toothed grin, already digging into his food. “Always do.” 

��I sure hope so,” the lady agreed, moving to walk back towards the kitchen before catching sight of them. She broke into a grin at the sight of Jason sending her a playful salute, changing course to head towards their booth instead. “Well, look who it is!” she exclaimed, securing her curly black hair out of her face with an orange-and-green bandana as she stopped in front of them. “Jason Todd decided to drop by for a little visit, did he? And he brought a friend.” 

The sight of her beaming at you was too contagious for you to not smile back up at her in return.

“Hi, Dana,” Jason grinned, nodding at you as she looked between the two of you. “This is Y/N. Y/N, Dana Harlowe. Her dad runs this place.” 

“It’s so nice to meet you,” Dana told you with another grin, leaning forwards to shake your hand in greeting. “When I decided to help out at the diner tonight, I wasn’t expecting a miracle. I definitely didn’t think this boy would ever walk in here with a date of all things-”

“Oh as if,” Jason scoffed loudly as the two of you laughed, face reddening beneath the bright colored lights. “Have you seen me? I was born a lady-killer.” He shot you a wink and you sent him another playful eye roll.

“Yeah, you sure killed me alright.” Dana burst out laughing again as Jason immediately let out a protest of betrayal at your words.

“I like you,” she decided when she finally managed to straighten, taking out her notepad and pen with another brilliant smile. “Did y’all decide what you wanted yet, or do you need another minute?” Jason glanced over at you and you nodded back up at her.

“Sure, I’m ready.” 

Dana headed back into the kitchen for your food after you ordered, leaving the two of you to sit in a comfortable, familiar silence, the sound of forks scraping against porcelain plates and vintage beats being the only disruptors. 

“I used to hear these songs on Gotham City Radio all the time,” Jason finally began after taking a sip of his water, fixating his gaze back on you as he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the leather seat. “Growing up, I mean. I still do, sometimes.” 

“Classic jazz?” You grinned, taking a small sip of your own water in turn. “You? I didn’t get that vibe from you.” He chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck with a slight shrug.

“At my old place, I had, uh, a butler. He wasn’t really a butler, honestly, he was more like a dad than anything. Or, like, a really cool grandpa. He had a whole rack of guns and shit he kept polished in this big cabinet thing-” You raised a brow, attempting to hide your amusement by taking another sip of water. You were a little surprised that he had actually started talking about his family at all - you weren’t about to ruin it, and boy, did you want to know more about the guy. “And he used to play that station all the time at home, GC Radio Classics. I guess I kinda missed hearing it.” 

“He does sound pretty cool,” you admitted with a smile, setting the glass back down. “Do you still visit him?” Jason hesitated a few moments before attempting a nonchalant shrug. You noticed the tightness in his body language again, the same sort of tightness you saw when he was closing up around you. 

“Not much anymore,” he finally said, letting his shoulders drop a little bit. “It’s been...a while. Just got some shit going on.” You watched him take another drink before you spoke again.

“If you ever want to talk about it with me - or talk about anything, really - you can, Jason.” It wasn’t just the products of your psych major showing through you - you meant your words, and the slight smile playing at his lips seemed to signal that he had understood that as well. 

“Don’t worry about it, seriously. But thanks.” You nodded, looking up again when the kitchen doors flew open once again, Dana heading out towards your table with another two trays heaped with mouth-watering food. 

“And here you go,” she smiled as she set your respective meals down before you, taking your glasses to refill them as well. “Enjoy your food, you two. Call me over if there’s anything else you need, yeah?” You both thanked Dana as she sashayed away again, letting the doors swing shut behind her once again after checking up on the rest of her customers. 

Neither of you wasted any time digging into the food as soon as it appeared, finishing most of it in mere minutes like the starving university students you were, breaking the silence with the occasional offer at trying something the other had gotten. The aroma had been no false-alarm - it tasted even better than you had anticipated, and that was certainly saying something. Savory fries, buttery biscuits, and smoky burgers were better than anything else you had in a while. 

“How did I not find this place sooner?” you sighed as you pressed a napkin to your lips, leaning back against your seat as you tried to process just how full you really felt. At this rate, you would have to roll your way out of the place. “I know you said it was gonna be good, but I didn’t expect it to be this good.”

“I told you,” Jason grinned as he finished up the last of his burger and fries, crumpling up his own napkins and setting them into the tray to throw away. “I know good food places! I grew up around these streets.”

“So did I!” you protested as he laughed and stood up to throw all the trash away, setting the trays back where they were supposed to go and pulling out his wallet just as Dana appeared by the kitchen’s window with two milkshakes. 

“You can count these on the house,” she told him as she slid them over, ignoring his protests and sending you a wink as you stood up from the booth as well. “Enjoy your night - and it was real nice meeting you, Y/N. Todd, I better be seeing you around more often.” 

“Yes ma’am,” he deadpanned, his smile warm as she waved them out anyways. “Thanks, Dana.” 

You called out a thanks to her as well, tightening your jacket around you as you left the warmth of the diner and felt the chill of Gotham’s dreary night hit you once more. Jason handed you your milkshake, bringing his own straw to his lips and taking a sip. 

“You guys seem close,” you noted with a smile as you took a sip yourself, relishing the cold, sweet taste of the shake in delight. Jason chuckled at that, shrugging as you walked along the illuminated sidewalks in no particular direction. 

“She’s like an annoying sister to me. I’ve known her since I was a puny kid.” You watched as the corners of his mouth curled into a slight smile as he took another sip. “Dana, her sister, and her dad were good to me growing up. They’re great people.”

That, you had been able to tell just from meeting the woman herself. 

“I liked meeting her. She was pretty cool.” He chuckled again and spared you another glance. “And thanks, by the way, for dinner tonight. It really was really good. And way better than just coffee.”

“I told you,” he grinned, flickering those brilliant green eyes across your face again. “I know where the good spots around Gotham are. We don’t have a lot of them, but when we do have them, they’re pretty damn good.” That elicited a laugh from you and Jason stopped beneath one of the streetlamps lining the sidewalk. 

“You did better than I expected, Todd.” He made a big show of popping his collar and scoffing at your comment.

“What, you expected me to not impress you? Do you think that low of me?” 

“That theatre minor of yours is really starting to make an entrance, you can put it away now-” 

“Hey!” You burst out laughing and he couldn’t help but join. You felt pretty sure that he looked the happiest right then and there than you had ever really seen him - whatever that might’ve meant. Pretty soon, your laughter was residing and he had taken a slight step forwards, a cheeky grin still plastered on his face. “I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.” 

You looked back up at him with a nonchalant shrug despite fighting back another smile yourself. 

“Yeah, it was a pretty good night.” His gaze flickered towards your lips before settling back on your face. 

“Yeah?” The sounds of honking cars and the murmurs of people walking past all around you felt like they were being drowned out somehow when you felt him get a little bit closer. The smile tugged at the corner of your mouth again.

“Yeah.” Another moment passed before Jason finally closed the distance between you, meeting your lips in a surprisingly gentle kiss for a man who looked like he could snap a baseball bat with his bare hands. You wrapped your arms around his neck after yet another moment, feeling him draw you even closer to him at the action. 

Literally and figuratively, it was a sweet kiss. The milkshake truly had done wonders. 

You were a little breathless when he finally pulled away, and you hoped the shitty streetlight would keep him from seeing just how red your face had gone. Jason was grinning at your reaction, rubbing the back of his neck.

“C’mon, that was better than pretty good.”

“Shut up,” you told him immediately, swatting his arm and moving to continue your walk again as he laughed and easily moved to catch up to you, slinging an arm around your shoulders.

“It was! You gotta admit it, that was pretty great-”

“Shut up, Jason.” 

Just like that, once again, you had Othello of all things to thank for your night. Maybe, just maybe, it hadn’t been such a terrible book after all. 

[toko-writing-imagines]

Could I request the v3 girls x gn reader who is the ultimate arachnologist? So they study spider, scorpions, and other arachnids :)

Oh god I hate spiders and any other types of arachnids-

They are like so scary most of the time like skdksksks omg- some spiders are cute tho ngl but most are scary. And scorpions? Hate em nope nope nope (╥ω╥`)

Still hope this request is to your liking ^^

V3 girls with GN s/o who is the Ultimate Arachnologist

【Kaede Akamatsu】

• Oh she hates them

• More specifically the spiders

• I feel like she only hates them is because one spider got on her piano while she was playing and she freaked out

• And you being the Ultimate Arachnologist? Oh she's in for a doozy

• You'll try your best to get her to warm up to some spiders since you always seem to have bring a new type of spider everyday for your studies

• It'll take a while tho, so for the most part its just her watching you hold some harmless spider in your hand, being too scared to touch it

• Though she'll warm up soon enough and get the courage to hold one, though once it starts moving she'll immediately want you to take it back

• She's trying though

• Also Kaede will stay away from your lab, too many spiders and possibly important stuff as you do also like to research the venom of certain spiders and scorpions

• At least she will let you ramble and talk about yours studies, but she won't understand really anything

【Kirumi Tojo】

• Loves spiders

• Probably has a pet spider of her own :>

• Have you not seen the spider webs on her outfit?

• So basically a match made in heaven

• There are times she'll leave her pet spider with you whenever she has to do her job as a maid

• You dont mind because then you can study and research more about your now spider child

• She's okay with scorpions

• This woman fears nothing (mostly) but will keep her distance away from the scorpion and make sure you and her spider are safe

• Will absolutely listen to you ramble on about spider facts or anything new you have learned in your research

• Gift her a new little spider for her already pet spider (so they can be buddies) and she'll will be beyond happy

• A happy couple with spider children ^^

【Himiko Yumeno】

• Nyeh?.. You study spiders and scorpions?..

• Can she use them for her magic shows?

• She'll wanna use em for her magic shows (more specifically the scene with the piranhas but with spiders or any other arachnid)

• You don't allow it though

• Sure some spiders you have are harmless, but Himiko probably won't be able to tell the difference between a harmless and dangerous spider

• Plus you don't even have enough of the same spider for her to even use in her magic shows if she needed multiple

• Oh well, she can just find a replacement or use her piranhas again

• Buttttt- you do give her a cute (harmless) lil pet spider (though you mostly take care of it)

• It just sits on the rim of her mage hat and she doesn't really mind it. She sometimes for gets it's even there

• That or a cute clip on spider accessory for her hat

【Angie Yonaga】

• Surprise surprise! She actually likes most spiders

• She sees all creatures wonderful in the eyes of Atua

• Sure she probably didn't have much spiders or many types of insects back on her island but that doesn't mean she should outright judge them

• Soo, there are times where she'll come in your lab unannounced just to learn more about the interestimg creatures

• You don't really seem to mind it, but you do tell her to not mess with any spiders without letting you know

• You just dont want her to accidentally get bitten by any spider you have, deadly or not

• And you make sure she stays away from the scorpions in general

• Sometimes she would even paint or just sketch you working because you are her muse and your talent is like another source of inspiration to her

• Infodump infodump infodump to her please- she enjoys your rambles about your studies and learning more about your talent and the creatures is a huge plus to her

【Miu Iruma】

• She says she isn't scared of any sort of spiders, scorpions, or any other sort of arachnid

• But thats what you expected dating the Ultimate Inventor who is the definition of a "all bark no bite" person

• So when you held up a spider to her to test her, she immediately backed away saying to get it away from her

• You just let out a small chuckle at her reaction

• Yeah, she isn't too fond of spiders or any insects

• Though it does give her inspiration for her inventions!

• There are times her inventions are made to help you with your studies or are generally based on some sort of arachnid

• She'll ask you about it if she needs too, as her inventions need to be as perfect as she is

• You dont mind, in fact you enjoy sharing anything or giving her the information she needs

• Just don't scare her with any sort of spiders again

【Maki Harukawa】

• Just has a indifferent opinion about your talent

• Honestly she doesn't care too much but she does find it interesting

• The Ultimate assassin and the Ultimate arachnologist together? Power couple right there

• There will be times she would be interesting in your studies of arachinids and ask you to teach her about them

• Though more so she's interested in the study of the poison that comes from any dangerous arachinids

• Who knows, she might be able to use the knowledge she learns for something in the future

• Maki will also just sit in your lab while you work, silent as ever

• To some degree she admires how hard you seem to study and hone your talent to its fullest potential

• Might ask you to let her hold any spiders or to take one with her like as a pet

• She also scares kokichi with any spiders you allow her to take care of

【Tenko Chabashira】

• Very mixed feelings

• She loves you and your talent, don't get her wrong

• Just- arachnids? Mm she doesn't really know what to think

• Most likely will end up having an indifferent opinion like Maki

• But if she sees any that are of threat to you or her?

• Be ready because this girl will try to kill it in an instant and that would really suck if it was one you were studying about

• Spider? She's gonna kill it. Scorpion? Will either run or try to kill it

• Will maybe learn to warm up to spiders if you help her with it

• She still finds your talent really cool, and would love learning more about it

【Tsumugi Shirogane】

• Purposefully stays away from your lab

• You knew already beforehand that Tsumugi doesn't like any sort of insects like most people

• They just make her feel sick to her stomach

• Like your talent is amazing and cool in a unique way

• She just doesn't want to be near any sort of insects that are of potential danger to her

• You even tried to warm her up to your spiders that you study, like the harmless daddy long legs

• Though she won't budge at all no matter how hard you try

• But you do respect it nonetheless, so you stopped trying and let her do her own thing

• Though she doesn't mind your rambling from time to time about arachnids, since she usually rambles to you about her favorites animes n series

❀•°•═══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ═══•°•❀

Oh did I stuggle a lot with this-

Its all over the place like seriously

I just wanted to finish this cus its been sitting in my drafts for a while now

Still hope it's good enough to read

~ Mod Toko 💜

[gladerwolfstarkimagines]

Imagine being Lin Beifong's only daughter and developing a crush on your fellow officer Mako. You finally managed to get the firebender alone but your family keeps accidentally ruining your efforts making for a very awkward night. 

Being a part of Republic City’s elite defence you’d seen the avatar and her friends often and sure you’d noticed the handsome firebender she’d dated but that wasn’t all you’d seen. You’d seen the way Mako had treated Korra and Asami and it angered you but it wasn’t your place to judge. So you treated him as you did every citizen, formally and with respect, the few times you had to interact with him and it was all fine. Until Mako asked your mom for a job. When Mako joined the force you were determined he wouldn’t be able to use his good looks and celebrity reputation on the force and were extra hard on him to compensate any favouritism he might recieve. You gave him the hardest assessments, most boring shifts and worst cases and yet he beat all of your obstacles. It annoyed you at first until you realised you weren’t really annoyed. You were mad at him, for being such a redeemable guy when his previous actions didn’t indicate that. Sure he’d apologised and Asami and Korra had forgiven him but still that didn’t mean you had to trust him...but it didn’t stop you liking him. You struggled with your growing respect for the man and even more so with your admiration of him. On stake outs he genuinely seemed smart and sweet. You tried not to develop an interest in him but you couldn’t help it. Mako seemed to take an interest in you too and soon you were working cases together by choice. You were efficient and had similar thought processes so were a match made in heaven (detective wise atleast).  You were working on the new airbender case together when your mom told you she wanted you both to accompany the avatar on her search for airbenders and protect her together. You nodded your head professional and composed when on the inside you felt all warm and excited. The time spent travelling with Mako and his friends was the best tine of your life. The avatar and her friends were so nice and you’d quickly bonded with them all, especially Asami and Korra, which shocked you as you didn’t usually get on well with other people. Becoming friends with two intelligent women had it’s set backs and it didn’t take long for them to notice your interest in Mako. You thought they might be judgemental but they were so sweet and sometimes annoyingly infavour of your crush sending you smirks and grins anytime you and Mako interacted. Korra and Asami made it their mission to get you and Mako together before you returned to Republic City and you were on board, when it came to dating you needed all the help you could get...

Asami came up with the idea of you getting some alone time with Mako by organising a movie night. Bolin was always begging Mako to watch his movers and he hadn’t gotten around to it. So Asami bought them for you and told you to ask Mako to watch it with you. Her and Korra (mostly Asami) coached you on flirting and what to say until you felt ready.  Judgement day here and Asami hiding behind a wall after shoving you towards Mako you approached him nervously. “Hi Mako” you called and he smiled “hey y/n, what are you doing out here? I thought you were guarding Korra”. “No my mom’s got that covered” you explained and Mako nodded “ow good”. Silence fell and you resisted the urge to run away and carried on. "So" you said getting the speech you’d prepared ready "i recently bought Bolin’s mover to see what it’s like and i wondered if you wanted to watch it too, with me...". Mako looked at you and you felt your cheeks redden "don’t worry if not i just thought it’d get him off your back if you’d actually..you know seen it". "No that actually sounds like a really good idea" Mako smiled "thanks y/n". You blushed but nodded "no problem...so when do you wanna watch it?". "How about tonight?" Mako asked and you panicked. Tonight? That was so soon! You weren’t ready! Asami had only coached you up until this point not the actual date! "Or not..." Mako said seeing your reaction and you shook your head feeling brave suddenly "no tonight’s fine i’ll just have to move some things around and tidy my room cus it’s a bit of a mess". "Well we can do it in my room?" Mako asked "Bolin’s got a date with Opal so we'll have it all to ourselves" he smirked slightly and you felt your stomach dip. "Yeah that sounds great thanks" you blushed and Mako smiled again "great so i'll see you tonight". "You will see me there" you agreed and then cringed inwardly. How were you literally more cool in a chase or fight than chatting to a cute boy? Mako just chuckled slightly when he looked behind you and straightened "chief" he said and you jumped to see your mom right behind you. Your mom had turned up at Zaofu claiming to help but you thought she was probably just checking up on you and Mako. Needless to say your mom’s presence had not helped the situation with Mako. Reminding Mako not only was your grandmother the greatest earth bender who ever lived but your mom was his boss who could and would fire him for any mistake...such as dating her daughter for instance was not great romantically. "Mom...i mean chief" you saluted her and she looked at you confused. "Erm yeah hi y/n". "We were discussing official police buisness, can we help you with anything?" you said awkwardly and your mom narrowed her eyes "no i only needed Mako so you could go sleep or eat or whatever just fix what’s causing this" she said gesturing to your weird behaviour. You laughed awkwardly and hurried away to Asami who looked as mortified as you.

Asami and Korra told you sooner was better and so you tried to absorb all their tips on dates as they helped you dress and gave you a confidence boost. They left you with smirks and giggles outside Mako’s door and you sighed before knocking. Mako opened the door and you got the familiar warm feeling whenever you saw him. “Hey right on time” he smirked “come in!”. You walked inside cautiously and looked around. There were two beds, one very neat and one with lots of clothes and stuff piled on it. “Sorry that’s Bolin’s side of the room” Mako said following your eye “he’s not very...neat”. “It’s okay” you smiled and Mako nodded “so let’s get started”. He set the projector up against the wall and turned the lights off as you tried to act natural sat on his bed. Mako sat next to you and played the movie. “You know you don’t have to sit on the edge” Mako commented seeing you perched on the edge of the bed and you blushed “ow okay” and moved closer. You and Mako sat beside one another and it felt awkward at first but soon it felt more normal and you found yourself laughing and enjoying the movie, sharing popcorn with Mako, when the door went.  

You and Mako both looked at one another. "Are you expecting someone?" you asked and Mako shook his head "Bolin said he wouldn’t be back for hours" Mako said getting up to go open it when the door burst open. "So you are watching Nuktuk!" your cousin Wei cried "why didn’t you invite us?". Your counsins Wei, Wing and Huan all stared at you from the door and you looked to Mako awkwardly. You both just stammered you didn’t think to and they walked further into the room. "Of course we’d want to watch it cous!" Wing laughed elbowing you. Wing and Wei sat on either side of you and Mako forcing you to move closer so they could fit.  Huan followed but frowned "was it just you two in here? Alone?". You blushed not looking at Mako but nodded. "That’s not awkward' Huan sighed sitting down too and you were grateful Mako hastily played the movie. Watching a movie with your crush which was then crashed by your extended family was very awkward. You and Mako were sat so close he couldn’t move his arm without knocking you. Not to mention Wei and Wing kept leaning over to grab the popcorn pushing you into Mako or Mako into you. Huan critiqued the film so much you didn’t even hear most of it. You were completely lost in what was going on when suddenly it ended and you frowned. "Is anyone else lost?" Mako asked and Huan shook his head "it was a pretty basic film plot". "Well if i’d actually been able to hear it' Mako said under his breath and you smirked. Huan didn’t hear him as he’d gone back to arguing with Wei and Wing. 'Well the movers over we should go" Wei said jumping up and Wing and Huan nodded following him to the door. You sighed in relief thinking you’d be able to salvage something from this night when they all looked at you expectantly. "Y/n aren’t you coming?" Wei asked "it’s late" and Huan raised an eyebrow. "No of course I am" you nodded standing up too "goodnight Mako" you said formally and turned to follow your cousins who were practically escorting you back to your room. As soon as you were shut up in your room you slumped against the door and laughed. This was not how you wanted this night to go. You’d been so nervous about spending time alone with Mako when you hadn’t even managed to spend any time alone with him. This was your one excuse to get Mako alone and now it was ruined and there was no way Mako would ask you back for a second date. You jumped as there was a knock on your door and you snapped it open to see Mako stood there. "Mako" you blushed "what are you...". "You left your mover" Mako said holding out the tape to you. You nodded "ow sorry" and took it. "It’s fine" mako smiled "also i was wondering if you wanted to watch it again some time seeing as we both didn’t hear much". You smirked but nodded in disbelief "that’d be good". Mako smiled "good...y/n can i ask you something? I don’t want to read too much into this, especially because i really enjoy working with you and would hate to ruin our profesional relationship but y/n was this a date?". You froze and bit your lip "possibly i mean...it was just casual, it doesn’t have to be if you didn’t want it to be" you frowned but Mako shook his head "no i did want it to be...if you did". You blushed "you do?". Mako nodded "I’ve always respected you as a fellow officer but this trip seeing you away from republic city and actually acting like a normal teenager for once” he smirked at your frown ”well I started crushing on you but i didn’t want to read into something too much but if you want this to be a date then...". "Yes" you said cutting him off and then blushed how eager that sounded. "Good" Mako chuckled "i’m sorry our first date was so awkward i’ll make sure nobody bothers us on our second one" Mako grinned. You smirked "that sounds nice but tonight wasn’t all bad". Mako shrugged "true but I know something that will make it better". You looked at him confused when he kissed you swiftly. The guy was smooth which didn’t suprise you. What did suprise you was how confidently you kissed him back, how you didn’t feel nervous or vulnerable kissing him but confident and excited. Mako seemed suprised too but kissed you back undeterred. You seperated but Mako didn’t move away from you "now that was worth being sandwiched between your cousins". You chuckled and smirked up at him when someone came around the corner. Your mom looked from Mako’s arms around you to, to the way Mako was looking at you, to your close proximity to one another and sighed. You and Mako held your breath waiting for death threats, to be fired, a lecture or all three but none of that happened. "So this is why you were acting so weird" you mom said undetered "atleast he’s a good guy but really y/n a cop?". You went to argue but she smirked making you realise she was joking. "Just don’t let it effect your work okay?". You and Mako nodded stunned as you mom turned away. "Ow and Mako? You hurt my daughter I’ll break your face" Lin called "got it?". You cringed as Mako winced "got it" he called back awkwardly. "Still want that second date?" You asked only half joking but Mako grinned as soon as he looked at you "totally your mom can’t scare me away that easily". You blushed and mako smiled "it’s cute when you do that". You blushed even more and Mako grinned "so i’ll see you tomorrow night for the do over?". "Sounds good" you nodded and Mako smirked "it’s a date" and winked turning away down the coridoor. You blushed and felt the excitement in your stomach, your lips still tingling from the kiss. Tomorrow night couldn’t come quickly enough.

[httpsaiki]

Not a request but something to think about because I had a realisation and I needed to share this with someone who could prolly use it or something idk, it’s here for you.

So the other day I was explaining how if saiki were real, he’d love me cus I have so many thoughts in my head it’s quiet. Everyone said that he’d hate me like Touma Akechi but that’s not what I meant, so I did some research and discovered stuff~

- in your head when u think, there’s an internal monologue right? You’ll “hear” words and stuff. Yeah well most times the internal monologue stops for me

- there are a few people in the world who don’t have internal monologue actually, the way we “think” is through emotions or images. So if I were hungry I wouldn’t go “oh I’m hungry” but my head would conjur an image of my kitchen

- since saiki can only hear internal monologue, (as demonstrated by the fact that everyone’s voices can be heard) and he’s not an empath who can sense others feelings (he’s too much of a brick wall for that) individuals like me could go undetected mind reading wise.

Idk, sorry for the long rant, this concept was better in your hands than mine 😂

Okay first of all YES. He’d like people like you so so much. I know there are people that think like that, and I think it’s so cool, probably cause it’s so different from my brain. I’m the complete opposite, I mentally narrate and monologue pretty much everything I do (to a point it even gets on my nerves - sorry Saiki). I’m constantly thinking words. 

While I do agree he’d hear nothing at all, I wonder if there’s a chance he’d still “hear” the images, like an image description or if he’d see them in his head as well. I think he’d enjoy having friends that think in words less, but people he could still read. It seemed pretty canon that he did not like not knowing how people were going to act/not being able to read their thoughts. That’s part of the reason he doesn’t like small insects, right? Same goes for his brother with the telepathy canceller and with Nendou. 

I really do believe he’d find your way of thinking facinating, it would be so different from everything he sees every day. Like a breath of fresh air to him. Though, I imagine he’d be pretty concerned the first time he meets you, before he understands how your brain works. It might appear like you think less or do things without even thinking about them? He’d probably just ask, but it’s kinda hard to do that without blowing his cover. 

I think he’d purposely try to make friends with you, to everyone’s confusion, just because you would be significantly less annoying to be around (not that it’s anyones fault they annoy him, in this case). Once he got to know you, you’d be less scary and unpredicable so I think he’d enjoy the company.

This would be very different from Akechi. If I remember correctly (I probably don’t, I don’t know as much about him as I’d like and it’s been a while), Akechi was characterized as having multiple trains of thought at once, so much that it was overwhelming and confusing to listen to. On top of that I think he was able to say one thing and think another? But like, both were entirely coherent, it was quite impressive. This differs with yours, because even if you’re thinking constantly/a lot, it would be in things Saiki can’t quite see or hear. He’d value that, it would be peaceful and quiet for him. It would make him feel normal.

Sorry if this was wrong anywhere, like I said, my brain works very differently. I definitely agree Saiki would love that in a person :)

[knightofameris]

⇽   𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚝𝚘 ◜𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚜' 𝚌𝚎𝚕𝚎𝚋𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗◞ 

𝑎𝑚𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑠' 𝑛𝑜𝑡𝑒: blacklist “ameris 500 celebration!” if you don’t want to see any of my posts about this celebration! 

—𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐊𝐒—

So I have a few people (mutual and some others!) I want to thank ;u; I wanted to make this a separate post because I felt really bad for how long the first post was ahhhh, I didn’t want to make you guys scroll through it lol. If you do end up scrolling through it. Bless your soul. 

@ptersparkers​ - my LOVELY LOVELY SCOUT. I really do hope you see this (might just screenshot this and send it to you tho lmao). I always love seeing you on my dash and you are literally a badass for dealing with some people’s shit like, fuck bro you’re amazing LOL. We’ve literally been moots for over a year and you were the first mutual i’ve ever really talked to since my Marvel blog. I love you so much and I know you’re going to do great in life and in all your endeavors. And congratulations on getting published! I’m so proud of you and you know what? I know Tony Stark would be too LOL 

@kuroos-babie​​ - HI CHIQUI. i love u sm i want to give u as many kiths as you want. when I’ve barely dipped my toes in making content for Haikyuu you assured me that it’s okay! and it really helped and i appreciate it so so much cus I don’t think I would’ve continued writing and posting for this blog. I mean, I can never not write and I do love sharing my work but it is nerve wrecking. also stop making me want to have kids asdhfkjahfk

@stcrryskies​​ - i remember seeing you a lot on my dash cus you would interact with brie and chiqui and a few others and then I was like, I should really really follow her she seems REALLY COOL. and AHKFASKHF BRO WHAT ARE THE ODDS THAT WE WERE BOTH IN MARCHING BAND??!?! IN THE SAME CIRCUIT AND CLASS?? bruh. like thinking about it, we’ve probably walked past each other when we’d have full retreats for competitions or finals or just walked past each other in competitions 👁👄👁

@crocyoota​ - im so sorry that im so awkward lkasjdfhljfglfsjg and we haven’t interacted much besides like,,, being horny on main lmao. i fucking respect the fact that you have no shame tho like. couldn’t be me but also, i have been horny on main so what am i saying 😗.  but I do remember you being one of my first haikyuu moots??? and it made my heart BURST

@saetyrn9​​ - i full on reblog all of your stuff so much onto my main and it makes me laugh how much we reblog each other’s stuff aksdhfkasf;j i also just overall enjoy seeing your presence on my dash! even if we don’t talk much besides here and there, it is always v fun owo also. ur smut is also so good i’m--

@renesis-jj​ - thank you for all your kind words and your support. I love talking to you and i love that we’ve developed a sort of friendship even though I thought I was just gonna be a reader of yours LOL your works are always fantastic and I’m sorry tumblr is such a dumb dumb ):< I don’t really know how our like friendship began but thank you for listening to me when I needed it most. Even though... I am still... embarrassed... 

a few other mutuals that I hope that I can interact with some more in the future! 

@tetsusbabe @chibishae34 @keijiskitten @stonersugawara​  @tui-lah @miy4bot @k-eijiakaashi (if I missed anyone i’m SORRY I appreciate you too!! i’m just stupid!!!)

if u want to be mutuals tho just hmu! i actually would like to follow more people. My tumblr dash is more dead than ever compared to when I first came on here. im a little bad at keepign conversation 🥴🥴 but if u ever want to chat i’ll do my best lol (I follow back on @thestarsintheknight​ btw!!)

AND TO ALL MY EMOJI ANONS OMG I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH. even if you guys stop coming by you guys have literally made my day so much more bearable through this quarantine. i really really wish i asked for anons sooner and i wish i did more interactions on this blog sooner. I think one of these days I want to do an appreciation post for each anon I have ;u; ahhhh i just need to push out more content which is definitely why i’m doing this self ship sorta thing to thank you and ALL my followers. 

i know these people will never see this BUT know about this account so they could see it: i’ll just give her the nickname of vivi-chan AHAHAH, my other half who could literally be my childhood friends/enemies to lovers, shade/edge/LMAO, i don’t even know what nickname to give this person but “conversations that come out of left park”, and okay jk this person will see it cus u actually have a tumblr and checks tumblr often but, @the-deaf-archer​ y’all are people who support me irl and h o n e s t ly to me, it’s actually really really really special that you guys are the few people i actually do know irl that know about this blog because i’m absolutely BABY. just don’t read the smut. or. whatever. idc do what you want but damn i will cry. 

[alkae]

They Were Roommates

Chapter Two

There was a small cafe in the middle of campus that everyone flocked to like a murder of crows. One could be expected to find it full and bustling every day of the week. And of course, that’s where Hugo decided to take Varian as recompense.

Hugo was wearing his jacket again and Varian kept catching a whiff of espresso everytime the wind changed direction. He shouldn’t judge, though. Despite all the scrubbing he did in the bathroom, there was just a hint of coffee on him that he could smell whenever he sat down. He cringed as he took a seat with Hugo at a table near the window. What did they put in that coffee that made the scent so strong? And permanent?

Hugo must’ve caught onto his thoughts because he smirked. Varian was starting to hate that stupid smirk. “I get coffee every morning,” he said with no preamble. Varian felt a sigh building up in his chest. “Same place, same order. The workers know my name and my face.” He winks. “Makes me a shoe-in for dates.”

Varian released the sigh. “You get a lot of those?”

His roommate looked at him, face serious. “Isn’t that what this is?”

Varian threw a straw wrapper at him. Hugo laughed.

“Okay, okay, Hairstripe. We’ll get there eventually.”

“Sure sure,” Varian said offhandedly. “Is the food ready?”

Hugo leaned back in his chair. “We just ordered. Calm yourself.”

How could he? He was starving. Hugo had his coffee, Varian had his ham sandwiches.

“So.” Hugo put his hands palm down on the table, slamming it just enough for it to make noise. “You’re my roomie.”

Varian crossed his arms. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Tell me about yourself.”

“What is this, a job interview?”

That smirk was back. Varian refused to let it affect him. “Humor me, Ruddiger.”

Varian rolled his eyes yet a small smile creeped on his lips. He told Hugo about his dad, a good, hardworking farmer and war veteran who was admittedly surprised when Varian got a scholarship to CU. He told Hugo about Ruddiger (he wasn’t good at names when he was 10), his small gray terrier who he loved more than anything in the world.

Hugo in turn told him about his pet mouse Olivia (“Interesting pet and name choice,” Varian had remarked. Hugo gave him a shut up look) and how he wanted to go to CU because of his mother. “What major was she?” Varian asked.

Hugo shrugged. “Marketing or something. I don’t know.” And that was that.

Soon, the food arrived and Varian’s mind blanked. He snarfed down his food as Hugo watched in amusement. “How can you eat so much,” he mused, “yet still be so small?”

Instead of responding with words, Varian simply shoved a sandwich in his mouth and flipped him off. Hugo laughed loudly. “I like you, Hairstripe.”

“Varian,” Varian said around a mouthful of food.

Hugo ignored him. “So, look, we’re gonna be spending a lot of time together. I mean, we’re roommates, right?”

A thought popped into Varian’s mind as he swallowed. “You’re right. Therefore, I’ll lay down ground rules.”

“Therefore?” Hugo asked. “How old are you?”

Varian plowed forward, using the hand not clutching his napkin to tick off his fingers. “No bringing anyone to our room on a school night. If you do bring someone, tell me so I can be prepared to leave the room. Also, I don’t want you walking into our room drunk on school nights either. I don’t want to deal with vomit or hangovers.”

Hugo rolled his eyes. “Okay Dad.” He slouched in his seat and took a bite of his sandwich. Turkey and cheese. On a lower tier than ham and cheese but still up there. “I’m guessing that means no fun either? Your way or the highway?”

Varian huffed. “No. On weekends, I could care less about what you do. But it’s not just your space. It’s ours. If we have to share a room for a year, we need to learn how to share.”

“Fair point,” Hugo said. “But question: you’re fine with me wandering into our room late at night on Saturday drunk and then vomiting on our floor?”

A feeling of unease settled onto Varian. “That sounds too specific.” His eyes narrowed. “What did you do?”

Hugo took a sip of his drink and stared out the window. Varian put his head in his hands. He did notice a stain but figured that it had always been there and he just didn’t notice. However, he gave Hugo credit for being able to sufficiently cover up his mess. “You’re exhausting,” Varian said into his hands, “and I’ve only known you for an hour.”

“It’s a gift.” Hugo set his drink down, leveling Varian with a serious face. Varian couldn’t tell if he was trying to be serious or not. “If you’re laying down ground rules, I’m joining in on this party. No staying up all night studying.”

Varian gasped, offended. “I do not stay up all night studying.” He paused. The memory of him downing 2 5 hour energy drinks and 3 cups of coffee resurfaced in his mind. But that was senior year of high school. “And even if I did, it’s for a good cause.”

“Hairstripe,” Hugo drawled, “all that studying will go to waste if you’re tired to function the next morning and you can hardly even see the test in front of you.”

Varian could feel himself pout. Dammit, he was right. “Fine. I’ll stay up until 1 then.”

“12.”

“12:30.”

“Deal.” Hugo stuck his hand out to Varian and he reluctantly took it. Hugo’s hands were surprisingly soft and Varian jerked his hand back quickly. Hugo raised a brow but said nothing. He picked his drink back up and took a sip. “Look at us, working through our problems like good roomies.”

Varian took the other half of his sandwich and munched on it. “Don’t call us roomies.”

“What else should I call us? Dorm buddies? Cell mates?” From the top of his cup, Hugo smirked at him. “Boyfriends?”

Varian threw a crumb at Hugo. “In your dreams.”

Hugo just chuckled into his cup. “You know what they say, Hairstripe. Dream big.”

Varian shook his head at him and took another bite of his sandwich. Soon, the two were on their way back to their dorms to get their stuff for their next class. Varian was fiddling with his shirt as Hugo slouched at his side, hands in his pockets. Out of the corner of his eye, Varian examined him. He couldn’t figure him out. Was he a nerd or a douche? A genius or a dumbass?

A cool flirt or a desperate freak?

He used to pride himself on being able to read people. He could tell someone’s personality just by being around them for a few hours. This led to others asking why he didn’t have more friends. He responded with, “I understand people but I don’t always enjoy being around them.” That got them to shut up and go away.

But with Hugo, Varian couldn’t piece him together. He was a bundle of contradictions and that frustrated Varian to no end. He seemed serious about college yet he was out partying on school nights. He seemed chivalrous when he gave Varian his coat but he also made fun of Varian’s height. Varian couldn’t tell who he was or what he wanted. He was determined to figure it out.

They stopped in front of their dorm room door and Hugo turned to Varian. “You know,” he said slowly, instantly making Varian suspicious, “despite all of our quarreling, I did enjoy our little date.”

For some ridiculous reason, Varian felt himself start to warm. “It wasn’t a date,” Varian said at once. “It was recompense.”

“Sure sure,” Hugo said flippantly. “Does that mean there’s no chance we can do it again?”

Varian took his key out of his pocket and unlocked the door. He pushed his way in and started gathering his books. Hugo watched him, leaning against his desk. “Is that a no, Ruddiger?”

He couldn’t believe he was even slightly agreeing with Hugo but he did kind of enjoy having lunch with him. He slid his textbook into his bag and turned. “I’ll consider it,” he said. He tried sounding cool but he probably just sounded anxious.

Hugo’s face broke into a grin. “I’ll count that as a yes.” He pointed at Varian, who shifted uncomfortably. “I’ll win you over yet, Hairstripe.”

Varian huffed a laugh. “Don’t get cocky, McCoy. You’re still annoying.” With that, Varian marched out of the room and he prayed that he seemed cool instead of rude. But as he walked to his inorganic chemistry class, he couldn’t help the smile that broke out on his face and consumed him. Fuck.

Previous Next

[suga-kookiemonster]

Ok Ashley, first of all when I saw the gif you used, I know you were about to FUCK ME UPPPP. Alright bubs, buckle up this is gon be a RIDE cus phew I am the biggest hoe for ego. I’ve literally re-read the whole series MULTIPLE TIMES and it’s never NOT funny, like I still cackle at the same jokes every damn time. Anyways, yes let’s get it. I love how you’ve used common tropes like fuckboy!jk, fratboy!jk, college au, F2L, and onebed, but have completely made it your own. Like I feel like even if

you posted your work under some other pen name, I’d still recognize your style and work. You have a very specific voice? Very “YOU” BRAND of writing and that’s probably one of the HARDEST things to achieve as a writer. Mc is a delight and the way she be low key losing her cool over sleepin in the same bed as kook has me cryin cus girl I FEEL YA. “just a t-shirt advertising your university’s Segway club that you had swiped off a table for free during freshman orientation” HAHAHA mc and I are the

same fuckin people is2g cus free is for me. ALSO DUDE, “Jungkook softly, but audibly inhaled, like he was gearing up to say something of importance” BUT WHAT WAS HE GOING TO SAY?! I need to know, it’s for science. Also, high key endeared that he calls he “noona” cus I’m a pervy old lady and a lady could dream ok. Yes, now we get to the good stuffs, cus motherfucker would I love to wake up to kook’s morning wood wow he really be like a man buffet- he’s both cute and dashingly sexy. “attempting to

smooth your expression into one of ignorant unconsciousness as adrenaline pounded through you. Your eyes were closed, but that didn’t stop you from feeling his close proximity as he gingerly leaned over you to scope out your face” OMFG THE WAY MY BLOOD PRESSURE SKYROCKETED. Ngl been there and it’s SO uncomfortable like can he NOT feel my heart falling right outta my ass??? Kudos to mc for keeping composure (cus I wasn’t able to oops) kinda interested in what the situation woulda looked like had

he known she was awake tho?? “really? … fucking really gonna do this now?” HAHAH OMG “the way he was using the clothes he had apparently grabbed from his bag to hide his crotch from your view” the consistency in your writing is SO IMPRESSIVE like… when I read ego I see it as a move in my head bc of all these small, but important, details. They both migrated towards each other uwu that is SO CUTE, esp with kook as the big spoon wrapped all around her ughhh my heart. And the way she grabbed a

plate of food for baby boy has me SO ENDEARED, it’s so sweet the way she’s thinking of him and his favorite food. Ok, BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT NAMJOON AND LISA, cus Namjesus they totally boned that night didn’t they?! The whole breakfast scene had me ROLLING “jungkookie lost his hands in a tragic paragliding accident” and “…like he was sitting there smiling at you, eyes sparkling like he was a big titty anime girl?” honestly, I gotta hand it to you, there has been no fic that makes me laugh the way

ego does. The dialogue, the pop culture references (re: pimp my ride, fear factor, “Squidward”, etc), the humor KILLS ME. You seem like the funny af friend in the group. Like “baby wine doesn’t exist because that illegal. and, frankly, immoral.” “But I would just like to state for the record that I’m the one who passed through her vagina.” “Tore it too, from what I hear” HAHA OMFG THEIR BANTER IS A+ bff shitting on each other and I’m living for it!!! The whole laser tag scene was pure gold.

The way lisa started opening up, jk’s cocky ass, mc/joon’s mess of team work, the way jungkook calls mc “babe” instead of “noona” (what’s with that anyways? He wanna be seen as manlier or something??), the return of the god of destruction, “Yeah, well you also have no upper lip” HAHAHAHA ok but I actually love jk’s sparce upper lip and buck teeth, it’s just so SWEET &ENDEARING. “You watched his tongue roll in his cheek as he considered you. It was sexy” HELL MFING YES IT’S SO SEXY!! I love this

characterization of jk- he’s very layered. He’s sweet, charming, sexy, dumb af, and annoying all at the same time which makes him feel vvv real to me. And now the smut. The fact that they’re in the same position as the other morning, but unlike last time, she’s ready to do something about it. The mouth on that boy omg reminds me of “do you kiss your mom with that mouth?” from an earlier chapter phew. I love that he’s focused on prepping her with all the grinding and fingering. While v sexy, also

shows he cares about her pleasure in that he wants her to enjoy penetration. The bit when he’s just dazed when she’s urging him to get a condom has me chuckling- is he THAT shook that it’s actually happening?? “He slid the rubber on with shaky hands.” Makes me think that he’s both nervous and excited and it’s more than just one time fucking to him. And the way she asks to ride him phew, she really be LIVIN THE DREAM that’s my ultimate fantasy let’s be real until he opens his dumb mouth “Hop on.

Please remember to fasten your seatbelt and for your safety keep all items stowed beneath the seat in front of you until after takeoff” OMFG HE’S SO ANNOYING HAHAHA “You placed another kiss on a pebbled nipple, intrigued when you heard him swallow a moan. Emboldened, you circled it with your tongue, scratched it lightly with your teeth. Jungkook whined, and the sound shot straight to your clit” FUCK THAT’S HOT. I am 10/10 a hoe for nipple play. Holy shit, and the way he pulled outta her cus he

knew he wasn’t going to make it in time for her to cum too, so he opts to eat her out first. We LOVE a man who prioritizes female pleasure!! Hnng and the way she agrees to continue fucking even after she’s already came and the way kook just GOES TO FUCKING TOWN ON THAT PUSS had my vag ROLLINGGGG damn I really feel bad for whoever is sharing a wall with them rn cus that headboard RIP my heart “I win” wtf dude his pillow talk SUCKS ASS. Just when she thinks she’s not just a game to him, he pulls

this shit. It’s probably just a dumb af joke cus we know my bby be competitive as all hell and also ain’t that smart, but damn. Not. The. Time. UGHHHH I just want to squish their faces together and be like "TALK TO EACH OTHER PLS- this is all a terrible misunderstanding" TL;DR my panties are wet, my heart is broken, and I kinda wanna knee kook in the balls. Thank you for this update!! Masterpieces are ALWAYS worth the wait!! It's bitter sweet that ego is comin to the end. Sending all my love

PHEWWWWW, THIS REVIEW!! 😭😭💕we still have one part left, so i’m not gonna confirm or deny any of your assumptions. but OMG, i’m so touched that my work left this big of an impression on you! your commentary made me smile so big 😩😩😩 truly, thank you so much for enjoying my wacky fic and my wacky characters. it really means a lot to know that people love my babies as much as i do, and that they’re actually as invested in the storyline as i am. ego was my first fic for the bts fandom, so she’s really special to me and it makes me happy that others enjoy her 🤧💕 and that you enjoy my writing style 😭😭😭pls 😭😭😭

thank you again for your sweet words. hopefully i can finish ch 8 sooner than later!

[bodtabs]

reposting and pinning this

being a straight black trans guy is really weird. there’s so many intersections of experience, and not in the dumb “technically i can reclaim this axis of oppression” level of terminally logged in lgbt person i mean it in a “going about my life” way.

for starters, idt i ever “hated” being a woman, i don’t really relate to that trans narrative, i just realized it was an identity that became increasingly frustrating to align with and moved on to a label that finally fit me. being a black girl was cool, despite all the social toll that came with it, black girls have contributed so much to popular culture and even to our own communities, so there was no real reason for me to dislike it other than “it just doesn’t feel like me anymore” and i like it that way. i have a very comfortable relationship with both black girlhood and black manhood, if anyone asks i’d probably fall under that “i remember being convinced i was a little boy. not knowing why my parents didn’t see it too and insisted on treating me like a little girl.” narrative that seems to be the narrative a lot of "trans stories that won’t make cis people uncomfortably avert their gaze” media. i had (and still do have) genuine interests in a lot of traditionally masculine aesthetics, music, career paths, and hobbies, but i don’t recall ever feeling disgusted, embarrassed, or insecure parts of my life where i was identifying as / being coerced into woman aligned individuality, and the strained relationship i had with my mother because of these things, like a lot of trans guys (understandably) seem to be with theirs. this proves for disconnect occasionally, between who i want to be and who i actually am, but the more time goes by the less i give a shit about who thinks what. i don’t take shit from anyone as a guy because i didn’t do it as a chick, which leads for a lot of leeway in being comfortable with who i was and who i currently am.

i still have a lot of pleasant associations with being a gay woman, i probably wouldn’t be where i am today without a lot of the gnc lesbians and trans bi women, i still feel a sense of community with that identity (never to the point of being invasive, i hope.) i’m never not going to get sentimental about a woman being happy with another woman, comfortable in their own skin; that’s just how my brain is default-wired at this point. i’m not offended by women (cishet or otherwise) not wanting me in their spaces (it’s honestly more validating than being seen as a defanged token feminist boy who will bring no harm or whatever, i much prefer people hearing about me or holding a conversation with me and deciding what direction they want to take with me based on those things, like you would any other human being) but it’s still cool to know that i can have these feelings– still be deeply involved and still have feelings for this culture i’ve ingrained in myself from a young age– and not feel like an intruder or outsider, despite being a straight dude, i’m always going to have a pretty firm grasp of gay culture and won’t get freaked out by people putting the sex back in homosexual like a lot of cishets and even a lot of gnc tenderkweers tend to get every 3 months. it’s honestly been the side of gay culture that i’ve always preferred lol.

i call a lot of bullshit on this “toxic masculinity intricate rituals” stuff that’s come into public conscious in the last couple of years or so as well, not only was it mostly popularized by MRAs (around the same time as public concious on ellior rodger and incel/chad terminology as well…shoulda been a red flag from the beginning imo) not just because it frames men as the ones who suffer the most due to their own actions rather than the women and children they torture on a daily basis, but it’s also been used to racially pathologize the boundaries and mannerisms i have that my (racist) white partners have been uncomfortable with in the past. your weird entitled impulse to police my body and the way i present myself in a way i genuinely enjoy and am comfortable is not remotely subtle, and the mental gymnastics behind your desires to impress your frat buddies does not excuse you brutalizing women on a daily basis and shaming children to the point they have serious issues coping with a lot of hardships that face them later in life.

the most visible majority of the trans masc community is white dudes and they all fucking suck. they’re terrible to women, trans nonbinary and cis, are either extremely liberal in their political stances or simply never talk about anything relating to it at all (and they all have garbage taste in fashion and music, i know that’s kinda petty but i think i’m allowed to be rude to people who try to make wanting to transition into a humanstuck karkat gijinka a universal experience and hozier and constantly self infantalize and weaponize their own softness while expecting everyone else on the planet to wait on them hand and foot.) i’ve met maybe 3 good white trans guys in my life and one of them i’ve been friends with since high school, it really put me off transitioning all together because i was raised mostly by women and a lot of my idols have been women since i was a kid (and even if this weren’t the case, colonialist concepts of respect / equality / gender in general are very different from nonwhite cultures, so even if i wasn’t constantly in immediate proximity of women or didn’t have any “significant” woman figures in my life it would stil feel very weird and removed.)

none of this, of course, is to imply that black men aren’t horrendously misogynistic (especially towards black women. lbr, mostly towards black women, lol. this is another one of those weird intersections, knowing that misogyny is not exclusively a product of white supremacy but that colonialism has definitely catalyzed it.) or that black men won’t use their race to get out of being rightfully accused of misogyny similar to the ways a lot of white gay people use their sexualities as a get out of jail free card, but i really don’t understand white trans guys like this. i think they realize they’re oppressed and cling to it as a personality trait, and when anyone calls them on it they get really offended cus they have nothing else to fall back on, hence all the gatekeeping and regurgitated TERF rhetoric (which any and all TME people have been guilty of, at some point, and a lot of whom unfortunately are still doing as i write up this post) and truscum antics. this nonsense got so bad that it put me off transitioning for like 5 years.

i’m here now, though, and i’m content with it, so i try not to hold too many grudges about it even if it is a bit frustrating and put me behind a lot of my peers. i’m mosly just focusing on how many doors open to you when you’re finally comfortable in your own skin lol.

[fuwafuwamedb]

Cutie at the Beach (Proto Cu Chulainn, Hakuno)

The sun was bright today.

Stepping off the elevator, Hakuno could see it was going to at least be a day of promise. Classes were canceled due to the holiday week. The tourists and the citizens alike were all meandering over the sidewalks and the city streets, dressed for the festivities and the events going on in the center of town.

That sounded all well and going, going to the festivals and seeing all the games and joyrides that had been set up, but she wanted something entirely different today.

Instead of noise and music blasting from speakers, she wanted the sounds of the ocean waves crashing against the shore. She wanted to feel the wind blowing through her hair and the sun kissing at her skin today. These feet were sandaled for sand and summer, not concrete jungles and cement sidewalks. She was going to let the waves of the beach wash away the hand cramps and the former headaches of the past few weeks of studying.

It was fun to walk passed the others on the streets though. The bright kimonos and the paper umbrellas were flashing around her. Children laughed as they tugged their parents along.

A few back allies had her seeing small groups of friends gathering together.

Classmates were waving her way, earning a small smile and a motion to her picnic basket.

A few of them laughed at her, trying still to egg her into staying in the stale city streets. They pushed for social hours and games.

That wasn’t what she was in the mood for though. She left them to their cellphones and their shopping trips, carrying on through the back allies towards the shoreline.

Her hands brushed against the leaves and vines that hung over the sides of the stone fences and gates, feeling the nature that thrived despite the wild civilization that had grown to be in this place. Further and further, she found the leaves to grow in more abundance. The world had left these streets behind, cracked concrete showing where even the city officials and the people of the area had forgotten their own.

A few kids stopped to wave her way, earning a small smile before she found herself back on the main streets.

The beach lay ahead, clear of most company at this time of the afternoon. Those who were there had gone towards the festivities that were being held near one of the corporate buildings nearby.

She’d stay away from that today.

Her basket was set in the sand, her dress cover pulled off a moment before she grabbed the blanket from her basket. The blue fabric was spread over the sand, set in place with a couple stakes she’d fashioned for the thing. Next came her book, her sunscreen, and her sunglasses.

After all, it would be silly to try wearing a sunhat while laying in the sand, wouldn’t it?

“You’re lookin’ like you’re gonna spend the night here.”

Hakuno paused, sitting crosslegged on her blanket with her sunscreen in hand.

“There’s still some sunlight left.”

Sunset wasn’t until nine that evening. Since it was only five, that meant she had four hours to drown herself in sunlight and soak up the feeling of the world and its peace.

Yet, Mister Blue Hair didn’t seem to be paying that much mind. He walked over with his red shirt unbuttoned, plopping down at her side with his fishing equipment and bucket.

“There might be, but it’s a little later than most people, isn’t it?”

“I like the peace.”

The man laughed, shaking his head. “I think you’re the first person I’ve spoken to that would think comin’ to the beach in the evening is peaceful. The whole town’s a damn ruckus.”

She hummed, offering her lotion over to the man.

“Can you get my back, Mister Beach Survey?”

“It’s Cu Chulainn, but sure. Yeah…” He stared at the bottle a moment before Hakuno glanced over his face.

“…You must be from somewhere with less sunlight, right?”

“It does rain a bit more where I’m from, yeah.”

That would explain the talking to strangers a bit more willingly.

Hakuno smiled, pulling her hair clip from her basket and tying her hair up really quick. She did have one other bottle in her basket. To think she would need it for someone else.

“Hmm?”

“Don’t move for a second,” she told him, moving over to his side. “You burned your face badly fishing today.”

“It’s a part of the trade-“

“That’s why sunscreen is a thing. If you put on sunscreen, you wouldn’t have this problem.” His poor nose was going to probably peel. He’d probably sport a tanline where his shirt didn’t cover too.

“That shit’s cold.”

“Can you take off your shirt?”

He stared at her.

“I want to make sure to get everywhere that was burned.”

“In that case,” Cu pulled his shirt off, showing off a collection of redness along his shoulders and chest. As blue as his hair was, his skin seemed to be fighting it with a bold red hue…

But Hakuno found her eyes trailing over the man’s person.

Wherever he was from, he must have been a wrestler or something. The man didn’t have arms, he had tree trunks. He had a chest and body that made up those superhero movies that her friends liked inviting her to.

“As you can see,” he purred. “I burned practically all over. I’m lucky I didn’t burn my pants right off.” He laughed, but Hakuno found herself handing him the little bottle of aloe.

“I can’t.”

She was good. Today was her day to rest and relax. She didn’t need to be ogling poor tourists that were burned to a crisp.

No, he was best just applying it himself.

“Hey, hey!” Cu leaned in, pressing a hand to her shoulder. “It ain’t that ugly, is it?”

“I-I’m sure your girlfriend will find it to be fine.”

“Girlfriend?” He laughed. “I don’t get that lucky with women. I smell like fish, ya know? Most women take one wiff and want to toss me back in the ocean.”

“You do take showers, don’t you?”

“I have terrible fish lips too,” he pointed out, smushing his lips in a way that had her rolling her eyes.

He was cute.

Geez, he must have just gotten so distracted fishing or something that no woman caught him instead.

Ah, but this was her day to relax…

“Let me get your back like you wanted with your other stuff and then you can help me with mine. That sound fair?” He leaned in a little more, that smile making her heart flutter like a fool. “I promise, I’ll be good the whole time.”

She wouldn’t.

But still, she kissed his cheek a moment before laying down.

“Just be sure not to miss a spot, please. I don’t want to be peeling.”

“Miss, I don’t know how to tell you this, but I find you very appealing.”

Damn it…

She smiled into her arm, letting him rub the lotion in.

He was so cute.

It may not have been how she wanted to spend today, but she was really in the mood for a last minute change of plans. Maybe for today. She had the whole week, after all. It couldn’t hurt to spend one afternoon with a foreigner who was looking to enjoy the beach as well.

He rubbed all of her back, almost doing more of a massage than a simple rubbing of lotion. Her returning the favor was met with hissing and whimpers, the man looking up at her with a pout on his lips.

“I liked it on my face, but damn, girl, that shit hurts.”

“You need to be more careful then.” Hakuno teased. “I don’t think there are too many people like me running around the beach in the afternoons with aloe in their basket.”

“There aren’t too many pretty girls like you around in general.”

Hakuno kissed his nose.

“…I can call you pretty all afternoon,” he offered, face lighting up a bit.

“Oh yeah?”

That smile. Ah, but he smiled in a way that made her think of those darn golden retriever dogs. Fangs lightly poking out, joy written onto every bit of his face; he could have been looking at a thousand perfect days and it wouldn’t have made him half as happy as that smile said he was.

“You know, I think I know a way to help cool off your sunburn a bit.”

“Yeah?”

She grabbed her water bottle, squirting him a bit.

“It’ll help you wake up from seeing me as pretty too!”

The man laughed, hauling her up.

“AH! What luck! I’ve got just the thing for you too!”

They were running, rushing for the-

“NO NO NO!”

Hakuno screeched, noting where they were heading. She hadn’t finished putting on sunscreen and she’d just applied his aloe! They were gonna-

SPLASH!

Straight into the depths of the waters. She could feel the fish swim passed, freaking out at their new neighbors that had come without invitation. Hakuno kicked and waved her arms, propelling herself to the surface only to hear Cu laughing. He hauled her close, letting her hold the dock a moment as he lifted himself up.

She found herself pulled out of the water to sit next to him.

“That help? You’re cuter than shit.”

“I think dinner would help.”

“Cutie, you’re in luck. I happened to have caught a large dinner that would make the finest restaurants in town crumble to their knees.”

“My name’s Hakuno.”

“And now I know a cute girl’s name. Today’s just filled with success.”

She held his hand as they headed back to her blanket.

She’d definitely see what his week looked like before she went home.

Cu Chulainn was just fun.