#cw codependency

[arottenlust]

cuz i’m pretty when i cry

pairing: sukuna x yandere!reader

I wept and wept. I had come to believe that if l really wanted something badly enough, the very act of my wanting it was an assurance that I would not get it.   - zami: a new spelling of my name by audre lords

synopsis: sukuna isn’t the type to speak what he feels. he shows you instead, intention threaded into every touch and gesture. it’s not something you’re used to. to you, this type of communication has always been hard to notice and basically impossible to understand. the disconnect eats away at the delicate glue holding you together. sukuna is the best thing that’s ever happened to you, so you know what comes next. you know he’ll leave you one day. you know it’ll tear you apart.

content: angst, yandere, unreliable narrator,

tags

lujuria writes: cuz im pretty when i cry | lujuria writes: sukuna

inspiration

sneak peak

[wickjump]

codependency is delicious when writing toxic romance and i think i need more of it. you want your characters to be terribly toxic but don’t like the whole intentional manipulation-abuse route? codependency. please god it’s my favorite thing. with only mild projection i promise!!!!

[howlsofbloodhounds]

You know, I think the biggest issue that Color could potentially bring to his and Killer's friendship is if he becomes a bit overprotective of Killer.

I mean, it would make sense if he did with everything he knows that Killer's been through and especially with how much Killer just doesn't take care of himself in most Stages. Color has had to take on the role of the caretaker and protector for his friend because it was a necessity to allow him to heal. From there, these respective roles becoming a bit more extreme wouldn't be too much of a stretch.

And, of course, that paired with Killer's mentality of needing to be in control, useful, and not weak at all times becomes kind of a recipe for disaster. Because Killer will just become more self-destructive if he thinks he's gotten to a point where he's just not of any use to Color anymore, or he will become more aggressive toward Color himself if instead he perceives the overprotectiveness as Color's attempt at sneakily taking over completely.

If they get to a point like that, I definitely think they'd benefit from having other friends around that are able to point them to where the tension originates from, because I don't know if either of them would be able to spot it when it was a gradual progression

They’d definitely benefit from having other friends and people around eventually.

Their dynamic, this sense of needing to be useful and being protective and only feeling accepted and understood and safe with eachother completely, can very easily lead to toxic codependency.

Someone has to be there to remind them that other people and the outside world exist outside of eachother—I wouldn’t be suprised if they have a tendency to slip into their own world together. But it wouldn’t do any of them any good, killer wouldn’t heal or improve, Color would regress and be unhappy without his other friends and loved ones—even if he does love Killer and enjoy being with them.

At the worst, his overprotectiveness could lean into paranoia if he thinks others are trying to hurt killer like so many have before—and if his desire to take care of killer and protect his friend becomes less more of what he genuinely wants and makes him happy to do and more like a ‘if I don’t do this, someone else will, and they’ll hurt him more.’

I wouldn’t be surprised if color thought there were others out there who’d be happy to take care of killer, he was just the lucky one killer allowed to. In this type scenario that could become more along the lines that color begins to not trust people or the world with killer—similar to the way killer may think about color, and the idea that people take advantage of color’s kindness and patience and desire to help.

And of course this all gets worse if Killer manipulates Color’s protective instincts via putting himself in danger or provoking people such as Delta to attack him simply because he wants validation, and proof of Color’s strength and willingness to protect him and look after him.

Wants tangible proof of Color’s care. That could have a bad effect on Color, too. It elevates the sense that Killer is somehow constantly in danger and he needs to protect him. And then that can backfire on Killer if the protection starts feeling suffocating and controlling rather than comforting and reassuring.

Which is honestly why i think they’d need the rest of the Epic Sanses/Chromatic Crew’s support and help 🙏. Cross, and Horror and Dust if they’re here too, know Killer enough to handle him in a way Color may not be comfortable doing, and Delta and Epic can help support and look after Color so he doesn’t get burnt out. And of course Cross can function as a bridge between both the MTT/Killer and the Epic Sanses.

{ @stellocchia }

[plantbasedlady]

i think its fucked up that I was kind of groomed without realizing it and grew up thinking "wow it sure would have been hot to be groomed, at least I had this (slightly) older transfem who emotionally abused me into a codependent relationship after cracking my egg which I still think about after all this time, yearning for the connection we had even to this day, not even blaming her for what she did, it was me who fucked up that relationship really, I should have tried harder, and-"

Anyway- Hon! You ever think about codependency? It's kinda hot, you know~! Both of us being reliant on each other, needing each other soooo much that you would never leave never leave never leave NEVER LEAVE

(is this hot? is it working? are you turned on enough to DM me yet? let me know if you're uncomfortable, I love this toxic yuri stuff but I wouldn't want you to like actually leave haha please.)

I was going to not post this, but one of my good friends pressured me into doing it anyway. Thank you, to lesbians everywhere!

[beanyboi173thegoober]

My latest post/reblog made me want to talk about something that Malevolent fans have probably all thought about, but I haven't seen it voiced yet.

While John and Arthur both have their individual character flaws, like John's insensitivity and Arthur's selfishness, they both, as a whole, are flawed in a way that makes me ache with a want to get them some goddamn therapy.

Arthur and John have a tendency to lash out on the other. Arthur himself has stated that he has said harmful things to John simply because he had no other outlet for his anger. John has abused Arthur's trust by weaponising Arthur's trauma against him. Both of these characters are toxic towards the other, switching from friendly to hostile with the flip of a switch.

Yet they cannot leave eachother. They can't have breaks to think and reflect on what they've said, they can't have privacy, they suffer through traumatic event after traumatic event, and neither can physically function without the other. They are forced to rely on eachother. They can't trust eachother, yet they have to. Any time they reveal something personal, it gets used against them. Any time they don't, the other gripes about it.

I have been a mediator for a very long time now, and I've actually began to study psychology. The research I've done, live study or written information, doesn't even compare to the dripping, deeply set knowledge of just how fucked up these two people are. They need eachother, and they hate eachother. They have a toxic codependency that disgusts me to think about.

Two people, forced together, forced to trust the other, no matter how much verbal abuse they may shoot back and forth, and forced to cooperate despite that abuse.

It's sickening, and yet the fictional narrative it's in is inciting, and so, we all must grin and bear it.

So yes, I will continue to call Arthur my baby girl, and John is my little silly, but deep down, I will know how fucked they act towards eachother, and I will despise it.

[drfrankensteinvsthequeerborgs]

Dean: "You weren't lonely, you had me." babe...

[paxislandsystem]

Her band is signed and their first EP is coming out soon but for some reason it makes me feel sick to my stomach, like I'm losing someone I already lost. Every bone in my body is telling me I should be there for it and that I shouldn't be a spectator, but I have no choice. I just have to live with this.

[toringo]

More stuff for the 'childhood friends' au

[arottenlust]

cuz im pretty when i cry (the inspiration)

everything started with that edit. i don’t know what it was, but something about it was hard to look away from. ive rewatched it like a hundred times at this point. the song and the smile on his face inspired the first iteration of this story.

spoilers for the series below (kind of? It kinda fucks w the immersion i think. Idk its spoilerish to me)

one where youre desperate for any crumb of his affection, desperate to have your affections returned, and sukuna is willing and happy to enable your sickness. it grew from there to it instead being a misunderstanding of sorts- sukuna is showing his love and dedication the only way he knows how, with action instead of words. you, used to the very hot and cold and emotionally abusive environment you grew up in, don’t know how to pick up on this. it leads to you slowly falling apart more and more, miserably obsessed with keeping your place beside him, lashing out at any perceived obstacles, despite the fact that sukuna never planned to leave, would never want to. And, blinded by your seemingly easygoing nature and the fact that he quite enjoys your increasingly psychotic behavior, knowing that it stems from your love for him, sukuna doesn’t notice anything is amiss until the cracks begin to splinter and break you apart.

I didn’t plan to make you yandere esque, but it seems that the more twisted parts of me leaked into the story. Oops?

im not sure about including smut. I think i might but im still on the fence about that one…. I probably will tho

it has a happy ending. I didn’t want to give it one, I wanted it to just be a sad, horrifically desperate, story, but this route seemed a little more interesting to write. I think I’ll probably write a different version in the future, one where sukuna really doesn’t care.

the relationship is unhealthy in the sense that a well adjusted person wouldn’t frame their entire life around another person the way you do in this story. i.e youre a yandere. in your head, sukuna could keep you locked up and treat you like his dog-servant-thing, and you’d be happy because you’d be the sole object of his attention. (While u may be unaware) He feels the same in reverse, and he wouldn’t do that anyways, because he’s obsessed and he values you more than you value yourself. That’s why it’s unhealthy. And also because you tweak out if he talks to other people at all with anything on his face other than complete and utter indifference…. but hey! You’re working on it. Basically, It’s written um, romantically? Yes I’m romanticizing the codependent yandereisms sue me. But ya not super heart breaking and depressing. just putting that out there because I get really like unreasonably hurt when i read unhealthy -> very sad fics instead of unhealthy -> very in love and reciprocated fics

dykwim?

ugh. I’ll need to write a prequel or something. I want you all to see the way you go from normal and unattached to fighting the urge to stick cameras in his room and huff his underwear. You’re so weird. Stop fantasizing about killing the people he talks to, they dont even exist!

i originally planned to make it as gender neutral as i could but a lot of the scenarios don’t make sense if youre not fem, so that’s that. if that changes throughout the course of writing out the series, i shall let you all know.

also. should i make a playlist?

[cogniz]

its always funny seeing people who hate shipping wincest turn around and get pissy and bitch on sam while the boys do the most sibling thing ever. like im sorry but you whimpering over sam throwing wrappers in dean's room or acting bitchy with him are the moments trying their most into still holding supernatural as a brothers show and not a brotherfuckers fest. stop whining on the only moments saving the show from gencest into incest.

[bunclebee]

This is ur only warning that there is more CheeBee art up and coming LOL… I will tag it all CheeBee if you want to mute it!

[altcvnningham]

so i was reading this post and started yapping in the tags before deciding i actually just needed to make a separate post because i have brainworms. long unedited ramble sorry this doesn't make sense at all

adlerbell & co-dependency;

the sick irony lies in the fact that the co-dependency that exists within their relationship, most of the time, isn't even of their own volition, and yet they are the constant cause of their own entrapment. they NEED one another as much as they hate one another because they ARE each other. to their core.

bell is everything adler hates and opposes and wars against yet he NEEDS them to catch perseus no matter the cost; adler is bound to bell in a way where he is ironically beholden to them, his fate in their hands, even when he's technically the one in control, with the power and rank over them, the one holding the leash. yet without bell adler has little to nothing. powerless entirely. in that way, bell has power over him, that his whole world rests upon the pinprick that is their loyalty to him, which is a hairswidth away from being shattered the second they piece together who they are, what he's done to them.

and bell is obviously only who they are because of adler. warped god wrenching hands into their head and rearranging it all until they suit whatever he deems his perfect image when he needs it. friend, ally, team member. dog, prey, victim. whatever he needs them to be, they are.

and bell's entire personhood is adler. bell's entire world is adler. half himself, a mirror image, their head a scrambled soup of his memories and fears, of vietnam, of things that didn't happen to bell but did happen to adler, a point in time that existed but they were not a part of, not until adler dragged their body off that tarmac and forced them to be. without adler, bell is dead in trabzon, or nothing. and that kind of co-dependency is indescribable- to believe that this man is one who went through the horrors of war with you, your friend for over a decade, is one thing. but even when bell breaks free of their conditioning- to know that they are possibly only alive because he found them? to know that mk ultra, despite being the very thing that destroyed them, was the only thing that stood between them and an unmarked grave??

bell wants adler. but adler needs bell. and mf wants to stand at that fucking clifftop and claim that none of it was personal?? he created a home for bell within himself, how they trust him, rely on him, believe that he'll always pick them up- because even if not in vietnam, he did, once, in trabzon. and bell is a home to all the worst parts of himself, scraped out of him and put into the empty pit he carves out of them- his weaknesses, his fears, his trauma, his ruthlessness. (i could talk about how adler's hatred of bell might even be a reflection not only of them being the very culmination of everything he opposes, but that they're also an amalgam of every worst thing he hates about himself, but that's another post entirely.)

i just. it wasn't meant to be personal. bell was a tool for adler, and adler was just this figure meant to be imprinted on. all means to an end. but against their own volition, they rely on each other. they need each other. they are dead without each other. i think adler needs bell to make himself feel powerful. but god, if they aren't the very thing he has to tiptoe around and revere because without them he has nothing. no team, no perseus. and to bell, adler is not too far removed from a god, whether they know it or not. he made them. and i doubt the lamb wants to stray much too far from its shepherd. ugh. whatever.

don't even get me started on how their fates are inevitably intertwined. how even the narrative itself demands them be slave to each other's will. fuck everything

[octobobble]

Devotion is the sweetest poison

[chgeeto]

you know I look better when you have full view of my ribs.

— Birds Fear Death, Pretty Girl Snuff Film

[idk-bruh-20]

Irondad fic ideas #154

CW: this one's pretty gruesome. read at your own risk 

Peter is a young child who's been kidnapped. His parents and/or his aunt and uncle were killed and he was taken. Along with a bunch of other little kids, he's been held captive and experimented on.

When the Avengers suddenly bust the kidnapping operation, the kidnappers try at the last second to destroy their research. They gas the small room where the kids are being held.

It's Iron Man who ends up blasting through. What he finds is horrifying. All but one of the children are dead.

The one who's left is just sitting among the bodies, crying, shocked, terrified. Iron Man carries him out of there, then once they're safe from the gas Tony steps out of the suit to comfort the kid while he's given oxygen.

Little 5-year-old Peter Parker imprints on his savior hard.

He just went through an unimaginable amount of trauma, then Iron Man burst through like an avenging angel. This is the first time he's ever felt protected in his memory. Tony holds the crying kid, and the kid can tolerate no one else near him.

This becomes a slight problem when they get back to base. But Tony can't find it in him to let SHIELD take the kid away, let them strip him of this one tiny bit of comfort. He keeps seeing all those other kids when he closes his eyes.

This one needs him right now. And if "right now" eventually becomes "this is my son," well. Who could've predicted that.

[i-have-the-juice]

if the character isn’t unhealthily obsessed with their ship then what’s even the point