#cw leaving abuser

[lukas-du-mortain]

W.I.P. Wednesday

Tagged by @serenpedac

Finally noticing how lethargic he is, Lukas slowly pulls himself upright along the wall. He feels his way to the tiny bathroom, where he proceeds to splash water on his face. Ice cold water grips and drags his mind back to its senses. Maybe he should go back? Guilt wrecks his body, because at the end of the day wasn't it his fault for leaving? Questions race through his mind. Uncertainty pushes through his body as he looks at his reflection in the mirror. Maybe if he went back and apologized for the screaming match, his life would go back to normal; right? Perhaps he could work hard and gain his reputation back, earn his credibility back. After all, it was his fault wasn't it?

What-ifs and hypothetical scenarios play in his head like a fast paced movie. One where the protagonist is faced with such uneasiness of their future survival. Lukas grips the cracked ivory porcelain sink in front of the mirror, his fingers wrapped around its edges so tightly his knuckles begin to blend in with the color of the sink. Nearly 10 years of his life has culminated to this moment, alone and broken and desperate in a broken down apartment. He has nothing left, nothing except what small belongings and clothes he could fit into two duffel bags. No car, no home. He has money but in Vancouver, $1000 in his savings won't last long. Should he go back, tail between his legs and beg for money?

No. He can't. It would just start the same vicious cycle all over again. Lukas would end up back here in the end. Bobby had taken everything from him. Lukas was left with the consequences of Bobby's actions, as usual, and it ruined him.

[estrogenism]

Pride flag for people who want to or have cut Crowfeather open and left him to die of infection! Hope you enjoy <3

[fumifooms]

Canines

The hand that feeds

Mickbell Tomas & Kuro Dungeon Meshi

^ 1: Ink-the-artist, I will remove my teeth / 2: Margaret Atwood / 3: C.S. Lewis, The Horse and His Boy / 4: Mitski, I’m your man / 5: Ojibwa, I love you like a rotten dog / 6: KotOR II / 7: Stardrop, Everything that’s ever been mine is covered in teeth marks / 8: Sodikken, People Eater / 9: Mitski, I’m your man / 10: maxime., The life and death of a dog / 11: Mitski, I bet on losing dogs / 12: maxime., The life and death of a dog / 13: hun, I did not bite with Malice / 14: C. Michael Davis, Don't Pet the Dragon / 15: Mitski, I’m your man

v 1: Early versions of the myth as in aeschylus orestes / 2: Ink-the-artist, I will not remove my teeth

[zeroducks-2]

This is quite random sorry but has Dick ever acknowledge (or as close to it) that a lot of things that Bruce did to him are abusive? (this is for a fic I’m trying to write)

Yes and no!

Dick knows Bruce is an assholes and WILL yell at him to stop being an asshole, or at least he used to. Dick would call him out on his BS and wouldn't let him get away with a lot of things, but this was once upon a time, before they rebooted everything and erased decades of character development. The closest he gets to that post reboot is after Forever Evil - everyone thinks Dick is dead, and Bruce wants people to keep thinking that, hence he forces Dick to join Spiral and become Agent 37.

Dick is, as you can imagine, not thrilled. He yells and fights and Bruce beats the everloving shit out of him in a very upsetting sequence, where Dick is half naked and Bruce is wearing most of his gear while he keeps hitting him to the point of leaving him bleeding on the floor of the Batcave.

Dick begs and tries to appeal to everything he can including the "things can never be the same between us after this", to which Bruce essentially replies that it's a sacrifice he's willing to make. Ha. I say that this is especially upsetting because Dick went through a horribly traumatic experience during the events of Forever Evil, in which among other things he was tortured by Thomas Wayne Jr AKA Owlman, who wanted to turn Dick into his own sidekick after losing his Talon. The way Bruce beats and humiliates Dick is drawn in a way which creates a clear parallel between Thomas and Bruce's actions towards Dick, in a way that suggests they're "not that different after all", but this narratively goes nowhere and I don't get why they fuck they even came up with that. But anyway.

All of this gets forgotten soon enough. Despite his own warnings Dick forgives Bruce after a very short time, pines for home and tries to communicate with Bruce in any way he can because he "misses his dad", which to be honest made my guts churn and my bile rise after Bruce nearly beat him comatose. Essentially the story forgets Bruce did all of that and so does Dick, but for the brief time Dick was allowed to be aware of it and angry about it, he was indeed aware that he was being abused even if he never used the word abuse.

This is the case for lots of stories in which similar instances happen, as I mentioned before especially pre-reboot. Dick does call Bruce out on his bullshit - especially if Bruce is being an abusive asshole to someone else, since Dick is way more prone to defend other people than he is to defend himself, like here

or here

But despite being obviously aware that there are issues in the way Bruce does things, to put it mildly, he never uses the word "abuse" (which is sort of a prohibited word for DC standards, kind of like "rape". They're way more likely to say non consensual than rape because it's a less upsetting word apparently).

There is an instance of this post reboot, and it's during a conversation Dick has with Tim. I believe it happens in the Pride comics of 2022, but I don't have the panels on hand at the moment. Basically Tim asks for advice on how to please Bruce, being the man demanding and prone to bad moods, and Dick flat out replies "I spent a very big part of my life trying to please him, and I left when I realized it was impossible" which to me is so interesting since it's the textbook reaction of a former Golden Child who fell from grace and became a Scapegoat (please note that tumblr's definition of Golden Child is completely arbitrary; golden child doesn't mean "good kid", it means a child who the parent holds to the highest standards, on which there are the biggest expectations and the strongest pressure regarding everything the child does. Sometimes a parent lives vicariously through them and perceives them as an extension of themselves, but not necessarily. If you watched Encanto, Isabella is the Golden Child of the family).

Something similar happens during Nightwing's run from the 90s.

Dick lives in Bludhaven and at this point he's gone essentially no-contact with Bruce. Tim, being the new Golden Child, is trying to reel Dick back into the toxic dynamic because he genuinely thinks it's going to be good for both Dick and Bruce.

I'm pointing this out not to fault Tim in any way, he's just a kid what does he know, but to show you that indeed yes, Dick is aware that he's been abused otherwise he wouldn't have left, he wouldn't be on a no talking basis with his parental figure, and he wouldn't reply to Tim that he spent so much time of his life deluding himself into thinking that Batman actually needed him. Of course this also goes nowhere and their relationship isn't allowed to grow or heal (things are just conveniently forgotten after a while), but as I mentioned, Dick knows what's up.

That being said, I believe it's also worth noting that many many times Bruce abuses the fuck out of Dick and Dick doesn't really acknowledge it, just takes it. Sometimes he doesn't have the spoons to fight back, sometimes he thinks he deserves it, sometimes he just doesn't know how to react because Bruce strikes like an unprovoked viper (this happens especially when Dick was still a kid but already a Titan). A very good example of this is what happens after Jason's death.

Bruce doesn't tell Dick that Jason died. When Alfred offers to let him know, Bruce says "I will handle it", and he doesn't. Then there's Jason's funeral and Bruce doesn't tell Dick about it, again Alfred offers to inform him, Bruce says he will handle it. He doesn't.

Eventually Dick finds out for collateral reasons and has an emotional breakdown in front of the other Titans, which are powerless to help him. For reference, this is how he reacts when he has definitive proof that the boy is undoubtedly gone, if there was any doubt that Dick did care about Jason.

So Dick goes to the grave with Kory but then decided to confront Bruce alone, and Bruce, in the abusive feat of the century, blames Dick for not having showed up to Jason's funeral, despite having refused to 1: tell him about Jason's death AT ALL, and 2: refused TWICE when Alfred very gently suggested to inform Dick.

Dick of course argues that he didn't know anything, and so Bruce reacts by gaslighting him, telling him they he never cared about Jason and in fact he was angry that Bruce adopted Jason and not him. Which is not true, Dick just wanted to know WHY Bruce adopted Jason and hot him. Oh and also punches him in the face when Dick tries to argue that Jason was an untrained kid. Please note that when all of this happens, Dick is hurt and can barely stand on his feet, having one of his legs in a cast.

Cherry on top, Bruce explicitly saying that he never should have had a partner and never will again, essentially "our partnership up to this point meant nothing".

In this instance Dick is too neck-deep in his own self guilt to see that he's been through a sequence of extremely abusive behavior, and never really faults Bruce for that, using the easy-coming rationalization that Bruce was in pain, suffering for Jason's death, couldn't see reason etc etc (quick PSA: someone suffering isn't entitled to abuse and gaslight anyone. And even if we really want to enable Bruce cut Bruce some slack because he was grieving, it doesn't make his behavior any less abusive. Regardless of the reasons why, the way he acts here is very damaging towards Dick who in turn did nothing to deserve it, and is grieving Jason too).

See, the problem with Dick and Bruce is the sysyphean nature of comicbooks. Dick is doomed to be the original Golden Child who falls from grace, becomes the Scapegoat, but ultimately can never be completely free of the clutches of the relationship he has and had with Bruce, for better or worse. And since he can't ever truly get out and can't ever completely be independent, the abuse end up getting downplayed. If Dick never truly gets away from Bruce it's because it's not that bad, isn't it? Nay, it's because Dick cant. He is quite literally not allowed to, same as Bruce is not allowed to truly grow from his mistakes and learn to treat his former partner, sort-of-child and dear friend with the respect and love he actually feels for him, because despite all of this and because this is fiction, Bruce does love Dick more than it can be put into words and would set the world on fire for him. But, alas, he also is doomed to keep treating Dick like shit and never really learn from his mistakes.

So again, the answer to your question is yes and no. Dick is aware of how much of a difficult person Bruce is. He's aware of the domineering aspects of his personality. But he will ultimately brush it off in the name of the good that there is and there was between them, and he will keep answering Batman's call every time, because he's not allowed to ever truly grow apart from him. It doesn't matter how much he gets angry and how much Bruce hurts him, they're indissolubly tied in this dynamic and unless there is a huge shift in the way DC execs handle things, I don't see how this dynamic can change in the foreseeable future. Sadly enough, because I'd really like to see something new.

[naswoop]

Brief interlude between isat fanarts to draw @dekupalace's In Stars and Time au because I am utterly obsessed <-(said while vibrating with excitement)

Lil bonus pencil sketch under the cut

[bonebabbles]

I keep starting and abandoning posts that go into my drafts, as I try to stay tasteful about how fucking revolted this part makes me. Like, I'm legitimately unsure if the very relevant trauma I have is making me see things that aren't here

But first we see that Star Flower is trying to ingratiate herself to the group, just after she reappears from chapter 5. Chapter 5 is about how Clear Sky is still abusive towards his son, and she comes in after stroking his ego, stressing how alone she is, and appealing to how she'll be loyal unlike his child. (She glances over at Thunder, directly implying this.)

Now in Chapter 9, she's babysitting and trying to care for Milkweed's kits (in spite of discomfort from Milkweed), taking a wet sleeping space away from the others, and pulling more than her own weight "without complaint." Putting herself through harsh sitations to prove her worth.

All while trying to appear extra attractive to Thunder, and later Clear Sky. Basically every man in power who can "protect her"

Like, am I going fucking crazy? With how we later find out that Star Flower was "promised as a mate" to One Eye's subordinate Slash, is... is that hypersexualization? One of the extremely stigmatized symptoms of sexual abuse?

She goes to find Clear Sky alone to throw herself at his paws, and he's very quickly attracted to how she promises to perfectly obey him, have no needs of her own, and finally be the perfect servant that he desires

"I don't deserve your trust because I am dirt. I understand you because I also regret something. I'd die for you. I'll never betray you unlike those who have."

This isn't manipulation. She means this. The story is playing their romance sincerely. She's comparing "betraying" Thunder by telling her own father about an assassination ambush to Clear Sky's history of child abuse, physical assault, and murder

She believes she's on the same level as this; a monster who murdered a childhood friend in a fit of entitled rage. She was a victim of One Eye who really believes that the way her father used her means she "understands" this monster, deserves this treatment.

And Clear Sky LIKES that.

He likes that she will have COMPLETE FAITH in him. That she will follow him WITHOUT QUESTION. That she will OBEY his orders. That's fucking verbatim, that's THE TEXT!!!

WHILE HE'S STILL CRYING ABOUT "ive tried to atone every day" FOLLOWING THE LAST TWO BOOKS WHERE THE ONLY SHITTY THING HE DOESN'T DO IS MURDER INNOCENT WOMEN

Am I insane?? Am I wrong??? Am I missing something here???? Why the fuck is the fandom takeaway "haha sexy girl steals his dad." Did I read the same book

[annie-of-the-arts]

when xiv finally realizes that their father never intends for them to leave the tower.

[reblogs > likes + reblog my art or i will curse you thousands of times!!!!!]

[thecruellestmonth]

Quiz Time, Batfam fandom!

What is a three-letter word for someone with the power to "bring in criminals legally"?

Who are the most prolific users of rubber bullets, also known as "less lethal ammunition"?

What kind of profession is tasked with capturing criminals, and isn't a judge, juror, or executioner?

Please learn what copaganda actually is. You guys are so embarrassing.

[milkywayco]

Dabi, burning Shouto: Midoriya: Stop! You can't do that! Dabi: Mom says it's okay

[ofthebrownajah]

Listening to Wheel Takes coverage of 2x06 and Ali and Gus bring up a great observation about Elayne. About how she's strangely quiet and calm in traumatic situations almost like she has experience with that. Specifically how she places her hand over Nynaeve's mouth to not cry out when Ryma is taken. That it comes across as almost like a child's reaction to wanting to stay quiet when witnessing something horrible. The tldr is that they think Taringail was abusive to Morgase and Elayne and Gawyn witnessed it

[bonefall]

I can't see how the writers still think Skystar's a good person. Like, twelve year old me liked him and thought he was interesting, but I was like twelve. And even I knew he was an irredeemable asshole after Moth Flight's Vision. If a twelve year old can figure this stuff out I have no idea what these grown ass writers were doing.

DOTC has a thesis, stated in The First Battle, that really explains everything.

"Fear and Greed" is just a fake-deep way to reinvent a Good and Evil dichotomy. Because Clear Sky's abuse comes from a place of fear, it means it's not malicious, unlike a "greedy" cat.

He can be "soothed," ergo, he's a fundamentally good person.

Post-First Battle, the books are focusing constantly on his feelings, how sad it makes him to not be trusted, how happy he is when people are on his side. All while he continues to screech at people who tell him what to do, manipulate and mistreat his son, and even still beats and mauls those who offend him.

But because it's "fear," that doesn't matter. That's a justification, an excuse. The writers don't seem to believe in good and bad actions as much as they do good and bad people. True 'evil' comes from a person who hurts others for the wrong reasons, like 'revenge' or malice.

It's abuse apologia. Plain and simple.

The truth is that abusers don't think of themselves as evil people, and everyone, even you and me, is capable of being toxic or abusive. Talk to those who have been abused and we'll tell you; we often stayed because we "saw the good," or even felt responsible for them. Abuse can be passed down through generations because the kids come to believe the way they were treated was normal and okay.

If you go through life thinking that abuse only comes from evil/greedy people, you won't see it when it happens right in front of you. Fundamental good and evil is childish. Abuse comes from fear all the time.

Abuse is about power and control. Fear of rejection, of losing someone, of pain, those are all very common motivators as the abuser tries to stop them from happening before they even begin. It doesn't MATTER that your abuser is in pain too, you NEVER "deserved" what they did in an attempt to break your legs so you wouldn't run.

But... we can all change. Even the worst of us. It's never too late to stop hurting others, move on to a better life, but some people never will. Skystar loves his power, and he keeps that power no matter how many times he misuses it.

He has no reason to change as long as his cruelty rewards him with status and authority.

But the writers are incapable of recognizing that, because for this entire arc, they were stuck in an absurd view of the world in terms of Fear and Greed. Abuse can be excused if he did it for the "right reason," and that makes him "fundamentally different" from the truly evil villains, Slash and One Eye.

Hopefully, it now makes more sense to you.

[b4kuch1n]

crumbs in your bed

transcript

[gloriousmonsters]

tbh the more setting details i notice the more i realize how the other Vees are signaled as complicit/participant in Angel's abuse.

It's not just Velvette's 'love potion' being used in an attempt to roofie him out in the world - it's a huge poster of her advertising the 'love potion' put up in Val's studio, notably paired with a Voxtech 'Trust Us' poster on another wall. When Vox is walking past posters in his first appearance, Angel Dust posters are noticeable, along with a Love Potion advertisement that features both Val and Velvette and a poster that just seems to be for the Vees in general. When Angel backs away from Val in his dressing room, a scene where he's been taken out of sight of Charlie and is alone with Val - up pops a Love Potion on his dressing table to one side of him, and a Voxtech camera trained on him on his other side. The other Vees are present, in spirit. When Vox and Val fuck off at the end of Poison (and there's YET MORE to be said about that moment) and Angel finally has his moment of genuine breakdown, there's a Voxtech camera in the foreground pointed at him. Even when he's 'off-camera' he's not safe from observation, and even when he and Val are 'alone', the other Vees are there.

also Velvette is wearing the same outfit she's wearing in the Love Potion poster as she is in the finale, I don't think that necessarily means anything but well. i noticed it

[mattodore]

100 questions with Matthias | playlist, pinterest | ←

1. What common traits do you share with your oc? What about them is the least like you?

Hm… I think Matthias and I are similar in that we’re both all-in when it comes to love, but I think just about every other aspect of Matthias’s personality and life are different from mine. Or, I hope so... lmao.

2. Do you think you would get along with your oc if you could meet them? What things would you talk about?

Absolutely not. I would be calling for this man’s beheading online. He wouldn’t like me either (let it be clear that he doesn’t like much of anyone, though). If we had to have a conversation I’d maybe listen to his thoughts on literature or history. I like listening to people much more intelligent than myself talking about the things that interest them. I wouldn’t be able to keep up with him, though.

3. How competent would your oc be in a survival situation? Would they be better off on their own or in a group?

Incredibly competent. Matthias is a savant with huge swaths of knowledge touching on a countless number of subjects, has analytical prowess, is strong and sturdy, manipulative, charming, and a natural born leader. He has all the makings of a solid survivor and could wind up on the other side of any survival scenario as the head of some fucked up cult, honestly, but…. If the situation in question is dire or inconvenient enough he’s simply not going to bother. He’d let someone else kill him off without putting up a fight. And I’d say he’s better in a group just because he needs people to make him feel real.

4. Is your oc a daredevil, or more of a scaredy cat? What is the most daring thing they’ve done in their life?

Daredevil. Matthias has little value for his own life and often winds up doing some rather outrageous things in order to feel anything other than the numbness he's used to. I think the most daring thing he’s ever done has to be blackmailing the headmaster of his boarding school just because of the sheer gall of it.

5. What is your oc’s patience like? When waiting for something, are they able to sit still or do they fidget? How do they fidget?

Matthias is never in any kind of rush. He leans and lounges and sprawls. He doesn’t move much, but I think he does have a certain lofty demeanor about himself when he’s waiting that’s reminiscent of a big cat swishing its tail and flicking its ear; if he’s crossing his legs you’ll see his foot sort of dip and swish while he’s waiting… he taps his forefinger on his temple… and he stares very intensely.

6. How much thought does your oc put into what they wear/look like? Any reason why?

Matthias pretty much figured out what worked best for him when he was a teenager and has stuck with it since then. He has a simple skin care routine and only uses a few hair care products, so it’s not something he has to put much thought into anymore as it’s all just rote memory now. 

In terms of his clothing, he’s not very adventurous and knows what already works versus what doesn’t. He gravitates toward pieces that flatter his physique while also remaining in a color palette more suitable to his tastes (he likes plain clothing without logos or lettering and wears blacks, grays, whites, and darker shades). 

But Matthias also has a dermatologist, a stylist, and a personal trainer on retainer… he could always get them on the line if he needed to. 

7. Does your oc collect anything? What about knowledge or facts? How big is their collection?

No material possessions, but he does seek out knowledge, if that counts? He also owns a lot of books, but not because he’s collecting them on purpose… he just reads a lot.

8. What kind of flavors does your oc like? How much spice can they handle?

I think he likes both sweet and bitter flavors the most. He’s used to eating a wide array of foods, so I don’t think there’s any flavor he doesn’t like exactly. Matthias can’t handle spice at all, though, which is a shame because he does actually like the flavor. Theo finds this to be very funny, by the way… he thinks Matthias is cute when he’s trying to play off how badly the food is getting to him while drinking water in these precise, measured gulps that’re meant to be subtle but just make it all the more obvious that he’s kind of dying. His ears and the back of his neck go all red while eating spicy food.

9. How easily does your oc trust others? Any particular reason why? How trustworthy are they themselves?

Matthias doesn’t trust easily at all. I think it’s partly because he never had anyone to trust in those development years of his childhood, but also partly because of the way in which his mother shipped him off to a reformation school to be abused and tortured and then essentially abandoned him there. Even despite never being close with his mother or even particularly loving her… he still knew that there was something meant to be there between a mother and their child that was… betrayed. So he finds it nearly impossible to give his trust over to another person, especially because he hides so much of his real desires, impulses, and personality from the world. Imani is the first person to ever gain that trust and the only person after to get it from Matthias is Theo. 

As for himself… it depends on who you are. If it’s Imani or Theo that are putting their trust in him, then they can be assured that they will never have to doubt him. If it’s someone else, however… he’s only trustworthy when it suits him and his little games. He lies a lot just for the hell of it, cheats often, and amuses himself with the power of holding secrets. Do not trust this man.

10. What are some of your oc’s pet peeves? How do they handle it when the annoyance doesn’t stop?

Matthias was trained in etiquette for years, and despite frequent participation in debauchery as an adult, and a strong distaste for rules, some of his training has stuck with him regardless. That is to say that poor table manners make him feel homicidal. Open mouthed chewing and talking with your mouth full has to be what he finds the most atrocious, especially as it nearly makes him nauseous. His way of handling these annoyances is to simply leave without another word, no matter how important the conversation or the person having it with him is.

11. Does your oc have a good sense of direction? Do they get lost easily?

Matthias has a very good memory (a detriment, really, considering how much there is in his life that he’d really like to forget) and a good sense of direction follows that naturally. He hardly ever gets lost.

12. How well would your oc handle being placed in a leadership position?

Like a fish to water. Matthias has lived his whole life placed at the top of the food chain and leading the pack already. He takes up that space with grace. But does he actually want it? Well… no, he’s rather bored of it now. He wants someone to follow instead but so few people are deserving of his devotion… 

13. What is your oc’s confidence like? Are they self-confident to the point of being arrogant? Are they terribly self-deprecating?

Matthias has the confidence of a man who has never found himself to be intellectually inferior to anyone and has only ever stood above everyone else. He’s arrogant and disdainful. Comes with the turf that he also likes himself a great deal… he’s prideful to an irritatingly high degree unless you’re into that sort of thing.

14. What is your oc’s speech like? How loud are they usually? Do they have an accent or a stutter?

Matthias is silver-tongued. He enunciates every word carefully and speaks very precisely. He speaks confidently and never mumbles or stutters. However, if he lets his mind wander or slip (whether aided by intoxication or just simple distraction) his Polish accent—which was trained away when very young—slips through the cracks. You can hear his accent most notably over the letter “a” in words (Bambi becomes Bahmbi, for instance… which I mentioned months ago but now there’s the added context that this is his nickname for Theo… grins a little). 

15. What is your oc’s memory like? Do they remember certain things better than others? Do they have any strategies to better remember things?

Perhaps it’s because of how regularly he exercised his mind from a very young age, but Matthias’s memory is astounding. More than anything, though, what his memory latches onto most is violence. The traumas of his teenage years have followed him like a second shadow. His dreadful nightmares are fueled by just how much he remembers of his time at the reformation school he was sent to from ages 15-18.

16. How affectionate is your oc? How do they convey their affection? By being touchy, or through more subtle ways?

Platonically? He’s very warm with Imani. He often holds out his arm to her so she can place her hand on his bicep as they take walks in the morning. I don’t think they verbally affirm to one another how much they love and care for each other, but that’s mostly just because they already know they do from over a decade of friendship. Plus, Imani kind of has a hard time accepting love from others, so that’s also why Matthias doesn’t speak to his love for her as his dearest friend.

Romantically? Matthias is always showing his affection and love for Theo openly and without shame. He meets Theo’s needs exactly where they are, seeing in Theo just how badly he needs to be reassured and pursued, even when Theo is still trying to deny himself what he desires. Matthias conveys his affection most through words of affirmation and acts of service. He’s always in Theo’s ear whispering about how his heart beats through Theo’s or how nice he’ll be to and for Theo, how good… how he’d crawl for him… he’s incredibly devoted and Theo is very aware of that fact. Make no mistake, though, Matthias is also affectionate in other ways as well. He’s incredibly tactile with Theo, because Theo’s most comforted by the physical reassurance that Matthias is there to catch him, you know? If Theo falls, he’s got him. Matthias also isn’t shy about voicing how badly he wants Theo either. Time and place don’t matter to him at all when faced with Theo’s presence (or, even, the absence of his presence; Matthias wants him all the time). Matthias would let Theo do anything to him. He could ask anything of him.

17. How polite is your oc? Do they know how to act in a formal situation? How would they *actually* act in a formal situation?

Matthias is… hm. Generally speaking, he’s polite, but it’s not exactly… sincere. He’s all charm and pretense, I mean… he’s just following the social contract to get what he wants. In formal situations, he’s the picture perfect gentleman. He has a lot of experience from etiquette lessons to cotillions and has undergone rigorous training in boarding school to ensure infallible success in the upper echelons of society.

18. How physically strong is your oc? Is their agility or endurance better?

Matthias is very strong. You can tell just by looking at him that he’s strapping. His muscles aren’t the kind that are just for show… he’s thick all over and isn’t concerned about having a movie star six pack. He wants real, animalistic strength. He wants to ensure he’s never put in a situation where he can’t protect himself ever again. And I’d say his endurance is better than his agility by nature of having previously undergone a lot of forced labor. Plus, he’s had to adapt and has a high pain tolerance now that he’s in his twenties, so aside from, like, pretty high stamina, his actual ability to endure pain itself is high.

19. What is your oc’s creative skillset? Music, drawing, writing, dancing, etc.? Or are they lacking creativity entirely?

Hm. I think he’s not very… imaginative? Creatively, I think Matthias is very much someone who just sees what’s there… he doesn’t draw from it and add on, you know what I mean? He does some art, but it’s observational realism. He sketches landscapes almost exclusively (in fact, it’s one of the things he does in the mornings). He has a lot of free time not only because of the nature of his lifestyle but also because of how little he sleeps… so he’s had a lot of time to practice and is good at it. He’s trained in ballroom dancing but he’s not explored any other kinds of dance and doesn’t try letting loose any other way. He can play the viola and the piano (as he’s legally required to do as a fictional rich love interest™), but doesn’t compose his own pieces. He’s not a writer, surprisingly, despite reading obsessively… I don’t believe he’s ever even tried writing himself. Well, he does journal, on occasion, but that’s just drawing from his real life… his imagination is stilted. One could draw the conclusion that this is perhaps because of the childhood he had or a result of trauma… hm. Take your pick.

20. Does your oc have any favorite games to pass the time? What other hobbies do they have?

Well… he plays mind games, if you count those. He likes messing with people. Other hobbies… well, what I just mentioned in the previous question, for starters. Hm… I think he treats sex as a hobby. He reads a lot and always has. Birdwatching. Going on walks. I think he’s pretty boring, honestly. Sorry, Matthias. No, um… I really think he just… appreciates the world. It sounds weird to say, considering he’s rather nihilistic… but I feel as though his nihilism actually plays a part in why he just… sits back and appreciates what’s there, because what else is there? The birds in the trees, the rising and setting of the sun, the movement of his body while dancing, the base pleasures of his sexual appetite… yeah. That’s what life is. Experiencing it is his hobby, I suppose.

21. Is your oc expressive, or would they rather conceal their emotions? What are their typical expressions like?

Matthias isn’t very expressive. Sure, he smirks and offers an inscrutable smile, but… he’s hardly ever actually expressing his true emotions or thoughts. I’d say he normally has an intense, persistent stare no matter which mask he’s wearing for the evening. If he smiles, it doesn’t meet his eyes. He’ll raise a brow if he’s amused, and his mouth will quirk, but he never fully laughs—not easily, at least. You’d have to work very hard to earn a laugh from him.

22. How easily does your oc fare in the sun? Do they tan or burn easily? Are they completely unaffected?

Matthias wears sunscreen every day and is meticulous about reapplying it. If he tans, it’s very light. Mostly he just burns. Trust that he complains about this all the time to Imani as she’s often the one with him while poolside. She thinks it’s hilarious, because even when they were kids he’d burn along the bridge of his nose just from being out for a handful of hours in the courtyard of their boarding school.

23. How graceful is your oc? Are they elegant in their movements, or more clumsy?

Matthias is poised and confident in his movements and commands attention through them. He glides gracefully around the room when he’s entertaining guests and mingling. His tread is light, despite his size, and he has a tendency to creep up on people when they’re not looking. The way he moves is unsettling to some who’re watching on the outskirts, because it often appears as if he’s prowling. 

24. Is your oc a romantic, or are they grossed out by the simple mention of anything romantic?

Oh, Matthias is a true romantic when he finds someone worthy of his affection. Or, rather than just his affection, should I say his absolute devotion? He worships at Theo’s feet. He’d debase himself just for a rare glimpse of Theo’s smile. He’s at Theo’s beck and call.

Additionally, Matthias would never be disgusted by any of his desires or urges as he doesn’t let society dictate how he feels about anything; rather, the more his desires deviate from what society at large deems acceptable, the more he’d delight in them. So the love he feels is something he exalts, even when it skews off in jagged directions.

25. How stubborn is your oc? Are they open to considering different options or opinions, or are they more closed off?

Matthias is pretty stubborn, I think. He values his own opinions above all others. He’ll move only if he’s been proved wrong or outsmarted… which is something that always gives him a delicious little thrill. He loves meeting people who can get the better of him.

26. How does your oc sleep? Do they move around a lot? What position does your oc normally sleep in? What are their typical bedding arrangements like?

Matthias is an insomniac and gets very little sleep. When he does sleep… hm… I think he doesn’t move around much unless it’s to accommodate someone else in the bed with him (Theo…). Matthias sleeps on his back using one pillow under his head. He doesn’t like feeling constricted, so he sleeps naked with only a sheet covering his body, his comforter put away in the storage bench at the foot of his bed and only brought back out to make the bed in the morning.

27. What is your oc’s sleep schedule like? Are they a night owl, an early morning riser, or do they get any sleep at all?

Matthias likes the mornings best. I think he normally manages to get some sleep in at around 11AM-1PM in the day. Theo actually helps him fall asleep… Matthias will lay his head in Theo’s lap while Theo’s studying and the motion of Theo’s fingers carding through his hair will put him to sleep like a child with warm milk. His nightmares ease around Theo.

28. How organized is your oc? How important is organization to your oc?

Matthias is very efficient and organized. It’s personally very important to him to keep his area clean as it was a habit he developed in boarding school.

29. If a perfume was to be made to represent your oc, what sorts of smells would be included in it?

I think Matthias’s signature fragrance is already a good enough representation of who he is. He wears Francis Kurkdjian’s Oud Extrait de parfum. A strong scent that’s spicy and rich with saffron notes that’re soft and leathery. He smells warm and masculine without being ostentatious.

30. How caring/empathetic is your oc? Are they the type to immediately adopt and protect others, or are they a true sadist?

Matthias has very little empathy for people who aren’t of his concern. I wouldn’t go so far as to call him a true sadist… but he does have violent urges and enjoys toying with people. He’s protective of children and teenagers, though… it’s not something often seen, as he has no reason to be around younger people, but… Imani’s seen it first hand with her younger brother.

31. What inspired the creation of your oc? Any specific things, a general aesthetic or idea, or something completely random?

Theo. I’ve talked about this over here, but Matthias as a character exists because of Theo. His actual appearance is meant to contrast Theo’s. His life is meant to mirror Theo’s. His personality is both a mix of hard differences and similarities to Theo’s.

32. How judgemental is your oc? Do they keep an open mind about people, or are they the type to judge a book by its cover?

Matthias isn’t actually all that judgy. I mean, he definitely looks down his nose at people, but that’s hardly their fault. I’d say he’s open minded, but he’s also a lofty asshole.

33. What five objects or things could be expected to be found on your oc’s person at any time? Why?

Matthias doesn’t have material possessions that he feels he has to carry around at all times. 

But… I suppose he’d have his phone on him, a watch on his wrist, and his driving gloves tucked away in his back pocket. He doesn’t have a wallet, but he does have a card he’ll carry in one of his pockets. He doesn’t carry keys, as he has people who’ll let him inside his home when he needs to be let in. 

When he’s dating Theo, though, he often makes sure he has a hair tie or two on his wrist as well (which does in fact make me feel insane, thanks for asking). 

34. Does your oc have a pet? If they could have another one or if they were to get one, what would it be? How well could they care for it?

Surprisingly, yes. Matthias has a cat named Odious. By nature of Matthias being rich, Odious is spoiled, but not exactly by Matthias himself. He’s not very affectionate, but he does like her. She just wandered onto one of the estates and didn’t leave.

35. Does your oc have any distinguishing markings? Scars, tattoos, birthmarks, freckles, etc?

Matthias has a very noticeable scar on his chin from a decanter his mother threw at his face when he was fifteen years-old. I do think he’d have more scars on his body from the three years he spent at a reformation boarding school, but I haven’t yet decided where or to what extent the scarring goes. He has no birthmarks, freckles, moles, or tattoos otherwise. 

36. What is your oc’s fight or flight response like? What sorts of things provoke it the most?

Matthias is the fight response without question, but it takes a lot to get him to break and resort to it. Matthias has an impeccable amount of control over his own impulses and can hold off on reacting for a long time. But when his control snaps and he turns violent, it’s most likely a response to Theo getting hurt in some way. He has very little control when it comes to Theo.

37. How does your oc handle heavy stress? Do they have any specific coping mechanisms? Are they healthy or not?

Matthias gives the impression of being impenetrable, but I do think stress is something he feels. If he’s stressed, it’s most likely because of mental challenges he’s facing. As for coping mechanisms for it… he probably doesn’t have any, just by nature of stress being something he chooses to ignore most of the time. Hm… I can’t imagine he’d handle it any differently than how he normally handles his other challenges: with wine, sex, and a crowd of murmuring bodies.

38. What does your oc do to relax? Any specific activities? Why?

By all means, Matthias definitely seems as if he’d be pretty relaxed, but he’s actually on edge a fair amount. His insomnia gets pretty awful at times and he has audible hallucinations. The best way he’s found to deal with it is to relax outside, listening to the sound of the birds and letting the breeze ease the fevered rush of noise his mind tries tricking him with. He doesn’t live close to people at all, so he knows the hallucinations aren’t real (mostly, he hears screaming)… still, it’s not like he enjoys them. He views it as a weakness of his.

39. Does your oc have any nicknames? What are the origins of them? If they don’t, can you come up with some possible ones?

Matthias doesn’t like when his name is shortened, so he doesn’t have any nicknames based on his actual name. Hm... Imani calls him baby whenever she’s making fun of him, if that counts? It’s not really a nickname, though, but whatever. Theo doesn’t use nicknames with Matthias, I don’t think, but Matthias would go crazy for it if Theo ever did. He’d do anything to hear Theo call him his pet… I’d bet he fantasizes about it all the time. I’m sure he’s probably coaxed Theo into calling him a few nicknames during sex, though, so there's that.

40. What languages does your oc know? Are there any they want to learn but haven’t had the chance to? How good are they at picking up new ones?

Matthias is a polyglot. He can speak and write in Polish (and can generally understand a handful of other Slavic languages), English, Spanish, and French. He also knows ASL.

Matthias wants to be able to read as many languages as he can. Right now he’s learning Mandarin but is in the early stages of memorization. He’ll probably start working toward learning either Arabic or Hindi next… I’m not sure. He likes Arabic poetry (the translated forms he’s read) a lot, so that’s probably what he’ll gravitate toward.

41. What was the worst injury your oc ever suffered? Has it had any long lasting impact on them?

His worst injury has to be the broken ribs and punctured lung he got while he was at the reformation school. It’s the source of one of his most frequent nightmares.

42. Is your oc an optimist or a pessimist? Any particular reason why?

I’m honestly not sure that Matthias goes either which way. Everything is so… nothing to him that not even I can say how he feels in concrete terms. I don’t think he feels like there’s going to be better days ahead! or that everything is awful and will be awful forever. He’s just… apathetic.

43. How important are the rules to your oc? Do they follow them to a t, or do they enjoy breaking them?

Matthias has never seriously cared about rules and in actuality spurns them. The only time he observes them is when he can use them to his advantage or because he’s had to in order to ensure his safety.

44. How violent is your oc? Or are they more of a pacifist? To what lengths will they go to start/avoid a conflict?

Well… he’s had violent urges since he was very young. He doesn’t act on them hardly ever (now, at least), but they are there in his mind. And Matthias doesn’t avoid conflict per se, but there’s very little that he views as worthy of his attention in that way. He gets mad for a time, sure, but then he lets it go. When he does act on his urges, it’s… well. It gets bloody fast. He kind of lets it all out at once. 

45. How is your oc around animals? What about children?

Matthias is stilted with animals, including his pet cat. He talks to her like she’s a fully grown human person… he pets her a few times on the head and then pats her bum and tells her to go on her way. It’s a little funny, in my opinion. 

Matthias doesn’t really hang out in circles where children are present hardly ever, but when he is around them I think Matthias is surprisingly soft. He’s gentle with them and talks to them like they’re his equal; he doesn’t use baby talk or dismiss them. Kids really like him because of that. Matthias treats children and teenagers better than any of the adults in his life ever treated him.

46. Does your oc lie a lot, or is the truth very important to them? What is their reaction to other people lying to them?

Matthias thinks lying is fun, lmao. He only considers the truth to be important when he’s talking to people that he views as respectable. If he cares about you, he’s probably not going to lie to you. Perhaps it’s because of how good of a liar Matthias is, but he can see through lies eerily well. So when other people lie to him… hm. I think he enjoys it, because you can learn so much about people based on what they chose to lie about. He finds that fascinating.

He doesn’t like when Theo lies to him, though. Not about the important things at least, like Theo’s safety. It’s what Theo lies about the most to him.

47. How much of a prankster is your oc? Are their pranks truly evil, or more harmless, positive ones?

He doesn’t pull pranks. He thinks they’re simpleminded and uninspired. He can think of much more exciting ways to mess with people.

48. What are your oc’s nervous tics? Are they aware of them? Do they attempt to hide them?

When Matthias is nervous he’ll thumb at the scar on his chin. He catches himself doing it occasionally, but I don’t think he’s ever been aware of why exactly he does it. He stops himself when he realizes he’s going through the motions, though. He thinks the impulsivity of it is inelegant.

49. What would be the perfect gift for your oc? What would be their reaction to receiving it?

I’m honestly not sure. Matthias doesn’t necessarily care about material possessions, so you couldn’t really buy him something and expect much of a reaction from him for it. But I’m also not sure if there’s anything sentimental that would move him either. So not something made for him or something bought… but maybe something personal that belonged to you at some point. Hm. I think he’d let the mask slip and he’d offer a smile… a genuine thank you. He’d be fascinated by the choice of gift… it’d be different from what he’d expect someone to give him and it’d thrill him in that way.

50. How attentive is your oc? How perceptive are they? How easily do they get distracted?

Matthias models his behaviors off of others, so he’s attentive and watches closely. I think he’s perceptive, but not as much as his gaze might lead you to believe. Matthias can get caught up in his own orbit. His haughtiness gets in the way sometimes, so he slips when he’s having his ego stroked… it’s the best time to get one past him. Theo uses this to his advantage when he’s prevaricating and trying to avoid being caught lying.

51. If your oc was to receive an award for something, what would it most likely be for? Have they received any awards in the past?

Matthias has received numerous kinds of academic awards while in school. He’s also won awards for his manners and dancing in his etiquette lessons. No specific award I’d give him… not seriously, at least.

52. In what ways does your oc cope with anger? How easily angered are they? Do they lash out?

Matthias used to be a lot more aggressive when he was younger and was stubbornly argumentative, but he learned to control his… not anger, exactly, but his derision, as a natural consequence of physical violence at the reformation school he went to in his late teens. Matthias does get angry, but… he lets it go if it’s not actually worth his time. If you’ve pissed him off, he’ll give this tight, inscrutable smile and his eyes will glint once in warning before his features will smooth back over. He’ll keep staring until you get uncomfortable and look away first, change the subject, or leave. But if he’s actually furious over something that he can’t just ignore… he lashes out like a viper. You’ll get dizzy from how severely he dresses you down. Or he’ll hurt you, if your offense is grievous enough. I don’t think he’d be quick about that, though. He really does enjoy playing with people.

53. If your oc was to host a podcast or TV show, what would it be about? Would your oc actually be good at it? What sorts of guests would appear?

Oh God… Matthias absolutely cannot be given an audience. It would be detrimental to world order or something. Um… but I think he’d do great talking about history or literature… or manipulation tactics. I don’t think he’d have any guests on, though. He’s a one man show.

54. How would you describe your oc’s voice to sound like? Do you have any voice claims for them?

Matthias’s voice is low, cold, and seductive. There’s a gravitas to his voice and an arrogance you can just hear. If you close your eyes while Matthias is speaking, you’ll get the impression that you might need to crane your neck up to look at him… the force of his presence just spills over into every part of him, including his voice. He enunciates the letters in words precisely and has a measured way of speaking that adds a layer of… command to his words. 

I don’t have an exact voice claim… but I think his voice would sound like a harsher, deeper version of Michelle Gurevich's in Temptation (especially when Michelle’s voice starts to growl/rasp at the end of her words).

55. How sensitive to loud sound is your oc? Do they prefer constant high background noise, low background noise, or complete silence?

Hm… it depends on what the noise is coming from. He’s used to all kinds of distressing noises. In general, I’d say he prefers low background noise or silence.

56. What is your oc’s favorite color? If you had to choose one color to represent your oc, what would it be and why?

Matthias doesn’t have a favorite color… like, at all. And I’d say silver reflects him well… I can’t say why exactly, it’s just the first color that comes to me when I think of him. Maybe pale blue as well… he’s icy.

57. How good is your oc’s sight? Do they wear glasses? Do they need glasses? Do they have some form of night vision?

Matthias has perfect eyesight. The fucker.

58. How would you describe your oc’s appearance to someone who’s looking for them? What features would be most identifiable?

I think Matthias is actually incredibly easy to spot. I’d tell them to look for the tallest guy in the room who’s pale all over and broad shouldered. I honestly think that would be enough to spot him. I think his pale blond hair is the most identifiable feature he has, especially when light hits it.

59. How good at cooking is your oc? What can they cook/what is their favorite thing to cook?

While Matthias does have staff who’re paid specifically to cook for him, he actually waves them away a lot of the time to do it for himself instead. He’s a good cook. Not, like, Le Cinq level cooking, but he’s good regardless. I think Matthias spends a lot of time practicing things like cooking specifically to impress. He gives off the impression that he’s just innately talented at many things, but that’s by design. He’s actually worked very hard to develop the skills he has. It’s a fun aspect of his character, in my opinion. He seems like he wouldn’t care, but he actually cares a great deal.

(Additionally, being on Matthias’s payroll is pretty cozy, because oftentimes he just ends up doing what the staff are hired to do for himself and the staff still get paid regardless. Putting up with his uncomfortable staring and odd waking hours is worth it in the end.) 

60. How good is your oc at keeping track of time? Are they always late, always early, or always right on time?

Time slips away from Matthias frequently. He’s normally late to things, but because of his personality, a lot of people think he’s just being fashionable… he’s not. He genuinely just gets so wrapped up in whatever it is he’s doing that appointments on his schedule slip his mind and he winds up ten minutes late to everything.

61. Is your oc more quick-thinking, or do they take longer to figure things out?

He’s quick-thinking. His mind is agile and connects dots faster than most. But he’s not even half as perceptive as Theo despite having a similarly quick mind.

62. How quick is your oc? Do they have faster or slower reflexes? What things are they quickest at?

He’s both mentally and physically quick. He exercises regularly and boxes, which is something he would hardly be able to do well if he couldn’t react fast. The way he carries himself, his grace and poise, has also aided his reflexes. I think he reacts fastest when catching things… you should see how adeptly he can catch and maneuver Theo’s legs around him when Theo jumps on him.

63. How self-disciplined is your oc? Do they often think before they act, or the other way around?

Matthias is incredibly self-disciplined due to how he grew up and the experiences he had in his teens. He thinks first before acting, without a doubt. The times in which he does act first are always the moments in which his control snaps and he lashes out. He tries to avoid that happening as best as he can.

64. Which of the seven deadly sins does your oc fall under most? What about the seven heavenly virtues?

He’s lust, easily, but pride and wrath speak to him as well. 

As for the seven heavenly virtues, the only one I can even entertain for him is patience.

65. If you were to give your oc a new superpower, what would you choose and why? If *they* were to be able to choose, what would it be and why?

I was going to be funny here, but actually… I think I’d give him the ability to sleep whenever he wants. Is that really even a superpower? Probably not. But it’s all just made up anyway, so, sure. He’d have sleeping powers.

On the other hand, I think Matthias would be interested in something that could give him either greater knowledge or a deeper insight into the way people think. Telepathy, maybe? Not, like, mind control, or anything. That’s not very fun for him… he’d want to have to work for it more.

66. What sort of advice would people go to your oc for? What sort of advice is your oc actually good at giving?

I don’t think Matthias has the interest or sensitivity necessary to give people advice. I don’t know… he doesn’t really have many opportunities to try, anyway. I doubt Imani goes to him for advice when she’d rather handle things on her own, and Theo would never ask anyone for anything, especially for help. But I think Matthias would be the kind of person you would go to when you want to indulge. He’d stoke the flames of your passions and persuade you to reach for them rather than staying still.

67. How many people does your oc prefer to be around? A crowd, a few friends, or all on their own?

Matthias prefers to be in crowds of people. He has to feel alive somehow. He lives both because of others and through them. 

It’s only when he feels seen and understood through Theo that he begins to reassess and prefer the company of just a few friends and his lover.

68. What sorts of things would cheer your oc up when they’re down? Is your oc sad often, or is it more rare?

Rather than feeling sad exactly, Matthias is more unresponsive. I’d say he has a very childlike sadness buried deep down that he’s carried with him his whole life to the point that he’s now numb to it. Nothing cheers Matthias up, not really. Maybe Theo.

69. How energetic is your oc? Are they constantly tired, or constantly bouncing off the walls?

Matthias is an insomniac, so by nature he’s sort of always tired; however, Matthias has had nearly a decade to adjust and is a master of performance—you would never notice how exhausted he truly is. It’s not that he’s dull or low energy… but he’s languorous. All of his movements are languid and unhurried. Even the way he talks is measured… he draws things out. His actions only pick up if he’s excited by something. 

70. What about your oc’s lifestyle would they change if they had the ability? Why?

Nothing.

71. What is your oc’s go-to for offense? What weapon, what style of fighting? Or are words more their weapon of choice?

The personal trainer Matthias has had since he entered his twenties is an ex-boxer, so that’s how Matthias has learned to fight in a more refined, professional capacity. Before that, though, he learned how to fight from hands-on experience at the reformation school… meaning, he fought dirty and there was absolutely nothing off limits. He had to defend himself any way he could. Because of this, Matthias is rather crafty in what he’ll reach for to use in a fight, but he prefers to do it with his bare hands if it’s… a more personal attack. 

Matthias actually spars with Sehyuk at times to blow off steam. They’re never fighting to really hurt each other, which is good… Sehyuk could put Matthias out of commission for quite some time if they ever wound up actually fighting. Well, if they were playing clean. If they fought dirty it’d be a toss-up on who’d win. They’re both rather brutal.

72. What is your oc’s ideal environment like? Urban or natural? Fancy or rustic? What’s the weather like?

Matthias enjoys warm weather. He enjoys nature and likes tropical locations or locations that’re at a great distance away from other people. He likes being separate from everyone else at home… it gives him the space to drop the act and be who he really, truly is underneath it all. Space also allows him the clarity of knowing he’s just hearing things when he’s hallucinating. (Though, later this becomes unnecessary when Theo finds out about Matthias’s hallucinations and shows Matthias to record the things he thinks he’s hearing. If they don’t come through the recordings, then he knows they’re not real.)

73. If your oc were to be arrested, what would it most likely be for? Is it justified? Have they actually been arrested before?

Matthias has never actually been arrested, but if he were to be arrested for anything it’d be for public indecency, without question. Justified, obviously, because he’s fucking and sucking everywhere. 

74. How would your oc act when drunk? What about when really, really tired?

Matthias is very intense when he’s actually drunk. He’ll stare without talking for a long, unsettling amount of time. He forgets to mind his strength and leaves marks behind if he grabs an arm or a shoulder. He doesn’t shy away from voicing his thoughts, of which he doesn’t filter… meaning he says things that are weird and also deeply disturbing if he’s feeling angry (again, violent thoughts… he’s always had them). Matthias is also direct in a very blunt, unrefined way when he’s drunk—he’s always direct about what he wants, mind you, but normally he’s charming about it. The charm’s gone when he’s intoxicated. He’s incredibly meticulous about never drinking too much because of all of this.

When he hasn’t slept for days, I think he becomes… very quiet. He doesn’t even talk to himself, which is a thing he does frequently when alone (a habit from childhood). I think the softest he ever is is when he’s tired. Theo’s seen him like this a lot. He’ll lay his head down on Theo’s lap and just stare into space. If he speaks, it’s a few words at a time and that’s it. He becomes pliable… he’ll press into Theo’s touch and sigh… he’ll make quiet sounds of discomfort and hurt if Theo tries to shift away or leave. He’s clingy. The hallucinations are incessant if he hasn’t slept for a long time, so… I think that’s why he gets quiet. There’s already too much noise.

75. What would your oc’s dream home be like? How big would it be? What sorts of rooms would be in it? Where would it be located?

He doesn’t really have a dream home. To be clear, Matthias did actually buy himself a large home to his taste shortly after getting his inheritance… but it’s not like he’s attached to it. He doesn’t have that… desire for material things, including for where he lives. He dreams about locations, sure, but the actual house he lives in doesn’t factor into it. He just wants to live somewhere warm and in the heart of nature… he wants to always hear birds outside.

76. What is/was your oc’s relationship with their family like? Was it happy, tense, or abusive? What living family does your oc currently have, if any?

Matthias’s father died when he was fifteen and since then he’s been completely estranged from his mother as well. His relationships with both parents have always been nonexistent. His mother has resented him since birth and his father only saw him as a means to continue his legacy as well as a way to entrap his mother. Physical abuse came with his parents’ marriage, but Matthias is completely unaware of that fact as he was neglected and left on his own for nearly his entire childhood. I’d say he can hardly even recall a handful of instances where he interacted with his parents when he was young. Rather than being under the care of his parents as a child, Matthias was taken care of by the staff of the estate (who had orders not to interact with him more than necessary). He received no love, no praise, and no physical affection. He grew up on silence, literature, and the sounds of the birds in the gardens of his home. After his father promised him the entirety of his wealth in his will, his mother assaulted him physically and then sent him away to a reformation school that psychologically tortured and physically abused him until Imani got him out of there the day he turned eighteen.

77. Does your oc like to wear any particular accessories? Hats, jewelry, scarves, etc.?

The most Matthias wears are his driving gloves and one of his watches.

78. How socially skilled is your oc? Are they good at understanding social cues? How charismatic are they?

Matthias’s social skills are award winning. He’s exceptionally charismatic and well-mannered. Of course, that’s just for show. His grasp on social cues is stilted, but a smile can get him very, very far with that face and all that money.

79. For what reason would your oc turn into a villain? And if they’re already a villain, vice-versa?

Well… I think either way you view this question in relation to Matthias’s character, the answer is going to be because of Theo.

80. What is your oc’s handwriting like? How easy is it to read? Can they write/read cursive?

Matthias’s handwriting is clean and romantic. Huge swooping curves and artistic strokes. You can tell his handwriting has been something he’s worked very hard on perfecting. He writes in cursive most of the time, but not always. His print is sharp and clean, but not as extravagant.

81. How good is your oc at drawing? What is their preferred art medium, and what is their artstyle like?

Matthias is good at drawing. He draws in sketchbooks and prefers simple graphite pencils. His art style is observational realism. (Refer back to #19 for more on this.)

82. What would be your oc’s ultimate dream vacation? Where would they go? Who would they take with them? What would they do?

Whisking Theo away to wherever Theo will allow him to would be Matthias’s dream. Theo has many different responsibilities that he’s bound to… and, really, Matthias just wants to take him away from it all and keep him in bed for days. He wants Theo to rest and act on his own wants and desires for once. He wants Theo to be somewhere safe.

83. What is your oc’s favorite trait about themselves? What about their least liked? What would others like and dislike the most about your oc?

There’s nothing Matthias doesn’t like about himself, honestly. He favors his own intelligence the most.

I think he’s valued by others for his money the most, followed closely by his looks. Most people who haven’t been privy to Matthias with his mask off probably would say they feel uncomfortable when he goes silent and just… stares. If they’ve seen him without the pretense, then his derision is what they dislike most.

84. Is your oc more masculine, feminine, androgynous, or something else entirely?

I think he’s more masculine.

85. What would history remember your oc for? How would they become famous? Or are they the sort that would really only be appreciated long after their death?

In the Echthroi universe? Hm… he doesn’t covet fame in any way, so I can’t imagine it’d be because of anything he himself has willed. Maybe someone snaps a photo of him and posts it online and it blows up? I don’t know… he doesn’t even have any social media himself, so… yeah. I got nothing.

86. What would someone assume about your oc based on their appearance? Would those assumptions be correct?

Matthias has been carefully crafted to look exactly as haughty and duplicitous as he is.

87. What are some of your oc’s physical weak spots? What about emotional/moral ones?

He’s weak to being kissed behind his ears, touched along his spine, and having his head pet or his hair pulled. He’s weak to Theo and Imani… and there’s this small, trembling thing inside him that’s weak to his mother.

88. Does your oc hold grudges? For how long? Does your oc have any rivals?

Hm… I have a hard time imagining him carrying anger with him long enough to foster a grudge (outside of the grudges he has with his mother and the people at the reformation school he went to). I think if he had an issue with someone he’d do something about it rather than stew in it. And by “do something about it” I don’t mean by talking things out.

89. What does your oc’s laugh sound like? How often do they laugh? Are they easily amused?

Sexy. What? Who said that? 

No, but Matthias doesn’t genuinely laugh very often. Instead he has this rehearsed laugh that he uses to charm and manipulate in social settings. It sounds nice… breezy and light… a trustworthy kind of laugh.

His real laugh is actually pretty startling. Matthias’s voice is cold and seductive… dripping… but his laughter, when it’s honest and real, is rumbling and comes out at a much lower register. He laughs with his entire diaphragm. You can press your hand to the center of his chest and feel it rumble through your fingers. Theo actually jumped the first time he heard Matthias laugh. Matthias’s laugh is inviting and warm and always makes Theo all flustered. Even if you're immune to Matthias's looks and charm, his real laugh will draw you in.

90. Does your oc have any objects they could never give up? Why is it so important to them? Do they have any family heirlooms?

Matthias doesn’t form attachments to material objects and has nothing he holds on to. He also sees zero value in family heirlooms and his lineage as a whole. I suppose he does still have his family home (and other Evanoff homes) in his possession but he defiles it regularly.

91. What is your oc’s typical posture like? Do they slouch, or stand straight? How much space do they usually take up, both physically and figuratively?

Matthias (like Imani) was forced through years of etiquette lessons and has a very precise bearing with an easy upright posture, standing tall and elegant in the center of any room. He’s both physically large (he’s 6’3” and would potentially have been taller had it not been for his experiences at the reformation school while still growing) as well as figuratively; Matthias has a very… imposing presence and is at ease with himself no matter where he is.

92. What trait does your oc appreciate or admire the most in others? Why?

I believe it’s a three-way tie between intelligence, wit, and viciousness. Matthias doesn’t want to be bored by conversation and he seeks out stimulation and amusement to prevent that.

93. What is your oc’s preferred learning style? Observation, hands-on, instruction? Do they take notes or memorize?

He prefers to learn by himself through reading and observation. Obviously, though, there are some things he can't learn through simple observation and does actually seek those who're better educated to learn from—like his personal trainer and language tutors. He has a very good memory, but he takes notes regardless. He likes the activeness of pen and paper while learning.

94. Does your oc rely more on a logical or emotional mindset? What situations would this be the opposite?

Logical, definitely. Matthias experienced very little emotional output for most of his life and it was only once he truly bonded with Imani that he started to develop more sentimental feelings. When it comes to Theo, however, he becomes almost entirely ruled by emotion… nearly too much of it for him to bear.

95. How is your oc about keeping someone else’s secret? Are they the gossiping type, or do they hold true on their promise to keep things quiet?

He keeps secrets very well. It’s not that he feels especially beholden to keeping his word, but rather that he enjoys knowing that he’s the keeper of a hidden kind of knowledge. That said, when the secrets he’s keeping are on Imani and Theo’s behalf, it becomes much more about a sense of loyalty and love than about… mastery and power, I suppose.

96. Describe your oc in three words. What three words would they use to describe themselves?

I would describe Matthias best as a man who is intimidating, imposing, and impossible.

Matthias would describe himself as detestable, irresistible, and… a mouthful.

97. How old is your oc physically? How old are they in mental maturity? When are they most mature, and when are they the least?

Matthias is in his mid-twenties physically (I think 26-27 is a more solid answer, but nothing’s set in stone). Mentally… it’s complicated. When he was young he had a sort of agelessness about him… it was only when he first entered his teens (and the public) that I believe he began to act more like a real child and then more rapidly like a teenager. Abuse did a number on him, though, late in his teens… He’s both stuck at the ages he was during the worst of the abuse while also seeming older than he actually is. His maturity is best exemplified in crisis situations or when he’s taking care of someone (Theo…). Conversely, his maturity goes down the drain when he’s being stingy or possessive.

98. Is your oc the type to have a lot of fairly good friends, have a small group of close friends, have one or two best friends, or have no friends at all? Who are they closest to?

Matthias only has one best friend and that’s Imani, who is also the first friend he ever made (they've been friends since they were eleven and twelve, respectively). He’s also friends with Sehyuk but they aren’t particularly close. His relationship with Sehyuk is... one of convenience, I'd say, but they do have an interesting bond... Matthias is able to fully be himself around Sehyuk, which is rare for him.

99. What is your oc’s morning routine usually like? What do they eat for breakfast (if they have breakfast)? What time do they usually get up in the morning?

Matthias is an insomniac so most mornings he’s not actually waking up but rather was already there waiting for the sun to rise. Matthias will sit outside with coffee and a book in the morning and listen to the birds. If he’s having breakfast it’s most likely something light that compliments his coffee.

100. Does your character ever swear? How often? How vulgar is their swearing?

In casual conversation I’d say he doesn’t often swear since he’s more imaginative than just saying “fuck you” or similar phrases, but if he does swear in conversation he’s most likely doing it in Polish (pierdol się is easily what he says most). When he’s in someone’s ear talking dirty, however, he’s vulgar to the point of pearl clutching on his partner’s part.

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

every now and then i remember the time a few years ago, when sdmi fandom first had its revival thanks to netflix, when a wildly popular sdmi blog run by an anti said the words 'perfectly good Black woman' in reference to why you should ship [man you could easily read as white, whose arc she was fridged for] with her instead of [hatesink character whose race is ambiguous due to being a furry, but has a BLISTERINGLY antiblack narrative under a thin layer of fantasy racism, with a fun side of homophobia and holocaust denial the latter of which is directly invoked in the post], which got hundreds of notes, and i grimace my face through the back of my head all over again lmao

[stacytea]

okay, lemme just say: Gil-galad, who hated being the king Gil-galad, who had never wanted to be the king in the first place Gil-galad, who was crowned anyway, because there were hardly any finweans left around and the noldor in Beleriand needed a king, just so they can hold onto something, have some semblances of normality in the apocalyptic post-nirnaeth time Gil-galad, who became the high king when he was only 13/14 if we convert to human years, who was barely able to hold back tears in front of crowds as the crown was being placed upon his head Gil-galad, who had been raised by Círdan on Balar, among Teleri, and now he was the number 1 person in a culture that he didn't even feel like was truly his. A culture that so far he had only been taught about, had never participated in. Gil-galad, who politically hardly ever got to make his own decisions, whose role as the king was mostly limited to signing up whatever the parliament needed to validate and who was ascribed the blame whenever an idea backfired Gil-galad, who always wished he could've just lived a simple life on Balar, alongside Teleri, worked on a fishing boat and stuff like that, but instead he was manoeuvred into politics and bureaucracy, and an office that everyone at this point already knew was cursed, overall an enormous amount of responsibility, when he was basically still a child Gil-galad who was handling it all quite well until the third kinslaying happened Gil-galad, who was something like 15/16 in human years when the third kinslaying happened, who then had to face the reality of his reign, which was: he held little to no power. He was just a teenager, put on a throne, so the noldorin power in beleriand didn't seem to be crumbling as badly as it actually was. And he definitely wasn't able to protect his people Gil-galad, who was still doing his best after the third kinslaying, but also he started turning completely self-destructive in his free time. Like, there wasn't a single weekend he wouldn't spend at some party, drinking until he blacked out, taking whatever drugs he could get, getting involved in all kinds of reckless/precarious sexual behaviours Gil-galad, who just wanted someone to show up and take over the kingship , but was aware that all hopes for it had been wiped out when the feanorians attacked Sirion. That any hopes were gone along with Eärendil and his little sons. Gil-galad, whose role was mostly representative, so he had to be present at all kinds of events, no excuses. ,,What do you mean you need a day off? You're the king, ffs!!! Get your hangovered ass over there, it's not like you're going to work'' It pretty much resulted in young Gil-galad quite often showing up in public hangovered/ still lightly drunk/drugged/ overall messy af. And aside from the toll it took on his reputation, like- the king who has some serious troubles with substance abuse is probably easy to be influenced on many matters; it's also the fact that he was crowned to raise the morale among noldor, to message: ,,Look, we still have a king, it's not that bad!" How does it impact the Noldor when they repeatedly see their king barely able to stand upright or retching in some darkened corner? Not well, to say the least. Gil-galad, who felt trapped by the kingship. Gil-galad, who knew there was no way out of it for him, other than by suffering a painful death like basically every one of his predecessors Gil-galad who was being self-destructive and he didn't care about getting hurt because ,,hey, I have no control over my own life anyways :)))'' but also Gil-galad, who grew out of his teenage years and in his early adulthood had some ,,I can't keep living like this" moments , especially after waking up somewhere on the cold ground, feeling like shit and covered in vomit and all other kinds of fluids either his own or someone else's or both

Gil-galad who was in his early twenties (again, converted to human years) and decided to get his life together, because if he's trapped anyway, he can as well try to make it a little less horrible for himself

Gil-galad, who had maybe never got quite the amount of support he needed from Círdan, but Círdan had definitely taught him a lot and enough for him to be able to get by in life and politics

Gil-galad, who started getting his life together in his early twenties, and even if he stayed dangerously close to alcohol/drugs addiction and kept his inclination for partying for the rest of his life, he was actually doing fine

Also sometime after the War of Wrath began, it turned out that Eärendil's sons had made it out alive after all, and maybe it wasn't fixing all Ereinion's problems, but it sure was SOMETHING