#damn you Tumblr! i never knew how you worked and still don't! i don't wanna be a grandma!

[kittyfox]

Hello you beautiful person you!

Here is some old digital art of mine! These are Redraws of some of my old characters. I plan on making a video about my old art since I've constantly been putting it off for years, but I've got to that point of overthinking where I don't care anymore, and I just have to do it. Fuck my embarrassment, fuck my overthinking and worrying, I just need to do something. Cuase doing nothing is what I've been doing for years, and nothing won't get me anywhere.

Also been busy packing and house work since me and my family might be moving, so getting eome art done might take a bit, but I swear it won't take years! I'm trying to post my art now so I can't stop posting for years after posting one thing like I use to, so I swear it's not gonna be years! Maybe a few weeks at most, depending on the art or my personal matters in life.

And, if I take a bit in posting my art, I'll try and interact or talk with you guys instead! Like answering questions...I could have sworn i had like a few other things I was gonna write down that I can do one here, but I forgot...I got to questions and just, poof, all knowledge I have of this app and what you can do one here GONE.

If you do wanna know me, talk to me, or ask me stuff, PLEASE be patient with me. I have a lot of mental problems going on and I might as well have dementia with how bad my memory is, but I'm trying my best with what i can physically and mentally do, so please forgive me if I don't understand some stuff or mistake any sarcasm for you just being mean.

(I'll tell you this now, cuase if I don't, I know I'm gonna overthink, over share, and over explain myself if anyone asks. From what I remember, I have depression, ptsd, autism, adhd, i can't remember shit, I have extreme self hate issues, and extreme social anxiety. I'm sure theirs other things i forgot, but that's all i can remember for now)

[mulderscully]

so here we are again, i'm breaking up with doctor who again? and i have a lot of asks about why and i have some asks from people ranting at me because they know me well enough to know why these specials would upset me.

i wanna go over why i'm upset a bit, and i'm gonna do it on main because at the end of the day my tumblr career started here.

as a lot of you may be aware, i have been a huge fan of journey's end and of tentoo for over ten years. my god, i have been in the absolute trenches defending that ending for rose and defending the metacrisis doctor for so long that it's honestly part of who i am.

when rtd was announced to be returning as showrunner i was really excited because i thought he was such a brilliant writer who understood the show and his characters. rtd has always been imperfect, but his original run was about life, death, happiness, pain and how you cannot have one without the other. it was about the human experience and the tragedy of the doctor always being on the outside of that. so close but never having it fully.

that's what made it compelling.

now, i was pretty convinced that the fourteenth doctor was going to be tentoo or that something tentoo related was why that face came back. not just because i wanted it but because it made sense. tentoo is half of the metacrisis, he is why donna lost her memories and the toymaker is a villian who messes with universes for fun! all these pieces fit.

it wasn't primarily about rose because i knew billie wouldn't be in the specials, it was about this making the most sense for donna and for the doctor and their relationship.

my biggest issue now is that... fourteen is not ten. the audience seems to be accepting him as such because that's how he was written, but doing so really undercut a lot of what made the tenth doctor my doctor.

fourteen is not ten, he and donna have not seen each other in years - millions for him, fifteen for her - they are different people. or they SHOULD be. and of course he still loves her, of course of course but it doesn't ring true to me for them to barely address how long they've been apart and act like it's s4 again so rtd can give ten a "happy ending."

i don't even know where to start cause it's all so upsetting. listen, i don't like donna getting her memories back and i know that is unpopular but i feel like that tragedy was so well done that reversing it with a wave of the hand is a travesty. but even if donna had kept her memories, fine! show me her family, show me how she has grown and changed in the life without him and show me how she has grown to love herself and is ready to let ten go so he can let go of the guilt of what he had to do to her. why does donna need to have her own doctor?

in russell's book "the writer's tale" he was ADAMANT about donna NEVER getting her memories back. he was proud, as he should have been, of how painfully he ended s4 because tragedy has value.

the key difference between this and journeys end and giving rose her own doctor is that while rose gets a happy ending, it's tinged with pain and with sacrifice for them all. it comes with a price and that makes it all the more precious. ten and tentoo have always been the same guy with different opportunities and how that affects who we become to me. you remove the tragedy from it and the core falls out and it feels soulless.

sure, rose would be happy that the doctor is happy but i'm sorry this is rose's storyline repackaged and handed to donna and done in a way the audience accepts as "real." which is so fucking mindnumbingly unfair and lazy. to take the doomsday, "one adventure i can never have," which is about rose and giving it to donna is so god damn insulting. it's like donna's popularity as a platonic soulmate to ten has completely overpowered the power of nine and ten's relationship with rose, her family and what they represented for him and that doesn't sit right with me and i'm not ashamed to say it.

and it doesn't even work overall because the doctor settled down with river for 24 years already. like... he already had that adventure in various ways! it's like rtd thought he could pick up in 2008.

this is what he originally wanted to do with journeys end and instead of using what he already had and expanding on it, instead of using how tentoo has been thinking of donna for fifteen years too bc he cost her everything, instead of using their metacrisis to have him absorb his mind, instead of using how they are biologically related he makes a THIRD david tennant doctor? it's perplexing. he could have easily brought tentoo over to the main universe and if he REALLY wanted to had donna and her fam move to pete's world and seal them all away for his soft reboot that way.

now we have two timelord doctors in the main dw verse. why? what's gonna happen to him! what about when donna die? does he become the valeyard? what was the point? HOW does this celebrate 60 years?

but my biggest pain of all has been how this neuters ten and the audience perception of him. i love how rude he was. i love how repressed he was. i love his pain and his sillness. i love how he went mad. i love i don't want to go. i LOVE how hard it was for him because it fucking Meant something. like julie gardner said, the doctor is his most compelling when he has to sacrifice something. i love a happy ending, but i worry we are forgetting the value or something ending painfully and just... ending.

tldr; i have more to say but at the moment i feel like my favorite doctor got erased, like they took all the depth from him and made him happier and easier to digest for comforts sake and it sacrificed his arc and that makes me unhappy.

[sage-nebula]

Just wanna say, I love your tags sm on my post!!! I find it so fun to pull comparisons with both zinnia and volo because they have like. A similar character skeleton. Or whatever that means. They're so different yet their relation to their respective deity definitely feels, as u said, 2 sides of the same coin.

And 100% agree with the last comment- I only started thinking about their similarities when I realized how much of the fandom dislikes zinnia and how much of the fandom likes volo qq

Ahh thank you so much!! I'm so sorry I'm responding to this so late, I am just awful about actually sitting down at a computer lately unless it's for work . . . and my work network doesn't allow me to access tumblr because I'm employed by haters 😔 but I'm glad you appreciated the tags! I remember I was actually a bit hesitant about leaving them because I didn't know if they would be Too Much or not, so I'm glad that wasn't the case, haha.

And yeah, Zinnia and Volo definitely foil each other in many ways. What's really interesting about it as well is that, unlike Volo, Zinnia was actually rebuffed by her deity to her face, when it came to a destiny she was literally raised for, which we know since her flashbacks in her Evolutions episode show that she was training to catch Rayquaza as part of her Lorekeeper destiny since she was a young child:

She could arguably be a little older in that second flashback, but not by much. So Zinnia was raised to be the Lorekeeper since her childhood. Her life's purpose was not only know and be able to pass on the history of her people, but also to be able to mega evolve Rayquaza and, together with it, destroy the meteor that would threaten the planet. She knew that doing this would likely result in her death (indicated at multiple points in her dialogue), but she was so devoted to doing it that she went through it anyway. And she managed part of it; she did manage to summon Rayquaza.

And then . . . Rayquaza rejected her. To her face. In favor of some random (by comparison) kid.

By all accounts, Zinnia had every right to be furious. Her deity has rejected her in favor of some rando when Zinnia devoted her entire life (and was willing to sacrifice her life) to it. But is she furious? Does she take it out on May? No. We know that she's lowkey suicidal (some of her dialogue suggests she's almost hoping she'll die in the effort to stop the meteor so that she can be reunited with the original Aster in the afterlife), but she still takes it in stride because the most important thing is that the meteor is stopped. So she helps the rando as much as she can, and then leaves to figure out what she can do with this life she didn't expect to have.

Then, on the opposite end, there's Volo. Volo, as far as we know, was never raised with any special destiny in mind. To be fair, we really don't know anything about Volo's backstory except that it's heavily implied he's a descendant of the Celestica people. But that's it. We're never told that he had a destiny to fulfill alongside Arceus. Instead, Volo himself decided that he was going to summon and meet Arceus, and Volo himself decided he was going to summon and meet Arceus wholly for his own reasons, and Volo himself never actually came face to face with Arceus, and took that as a rejection, and then tried to murder the random kid Arceus chose over it, as if it's that random kid's fault.

It really is the complete opposite in every way. Zinnia had every reason to believe that Rayquaza would agree to work with her, yet when it refused, she took it in stride and did what she could to help. Volo had no reason to believe that Arceus would want to work with him, and when it refused, he absolutely lost his shit and tried to murder a child. There's a reason why Zinnia got closure by forming a sync pair with Rayquaza in Pokemon Masters and why I'm pretty damn sure Volo is not going to get the same treatment with Arceus, lmao.

And don't get me wrong, I love both characters. Personally, I hope Volo never gets better. Don't get me wrong, if his motivation is supposed to be that he wants to make a world where his people and culture were never lost and where Hisui was never colonized, then I do think that's a sympathetic motivation, and certainly I came away from PLA thinking that Kamado was more despicable than Volo, mostly because the game treated Kamado like a sympathetic, misunderstood man despite his blatant bigotry toward the DP clans. But Volo is at his best when he is absolutely off his shits and I want him to stay that way. Like the fact that he actually tried to murder the player is iconic. Love that energy for him. Keep it coming.

But that doesn't change the fact that, yeah, he is off his shits. And any sympathetic motivations we can give him are headcanon because Game Freak didn't feel the need to elaborate. And more importantly (and to the point of your second paragraph), yeah, it really gets me that people are constantly vilifying Zinnia (including downright calling her a villain) for trying to save two worlds and ultimately bowing out gracefully when her destiny was stolen from her, yet fawn all over Volo or Lusamine. I'm sure the fact that Zinnia is a darker skinned woman (as opposed to the the blonde hair and pale skin of the others) has nothing to do with it. [/heavy sarcasm]

Anyway, this is a very long (and late) reply. I'm a very verbose person, haha. But thanks again, especially for giving me the chance to talk more about this; I appreciate it! 💜

[badsansandstarsansticklestuff]

Dying a little bit but still moving and writing

Tickle fic again

By the way I almost killed tumblr, the damn thing kept lagging it was awful to write

Characters: Dream & Killer (ship)

Context: Dream is venting out to Killer about how no one takes him seriously as a guardian despite the fact he's strong and protects everyone, Killer offers him an explanation to that, aka: he's way too ticklish to be a fierce warrior

□■□■□■□■□■□■□■□■□■□■□

It has been quite an exhausting day for Dream. After changing in his pajamas he laid down on his bed next to his boyfriend, a certain Killer, that he found quite charming and managed to seduce after the truce with his brother.

Killer put his book down when Dream arrived, knowing very well he was about to vent out about his day like he did every night. He liked to listen to him, it was fun hearing the gardian of positivity being mad about everything and everyone.

- They never take me seriously, I swear, no matter the au I'm in I'm always saying the same things, "yes I can handle it", "yes I'm strong enough", "no I am not a lost child in a weird costume", like, fuck off, I'm a gardian damn it, they should respect me, not treat me like a delusional kid !

Oh if only people knew just how much Dream swore... he wasn't that innocent little happy gardian people thought he was. That was very funny to Killer.

- I spend all my life protecting them and all they do to thank me is offering me lollipops and candies, never something useful like, I don't know, money ? I deserve to be paid for all my work.

- You seem very mad.

Killer jokingly said.

- Because I fucking am ! I'm a warrior, I have trained for years, I protect the whole multiverse and they don't even call me sir !

- Wanna know why they don't take you seriously ?

Killer asked with a smile, resting on his elbows to look down at Dream.

- And why is that ?

- Because...

He sat on top of Dream's legs, making his boyfriend blush in a nice golden color.

- Warriors...

He bent down to be right in front of his face.

- Aren't supposed to be that ticklish...

And before Dream could even process what he said, he began scratching and squeezing his boyfriend's ribcage, for it was his weak spot, making him yelp in surprise and burst out in helpless laughter.

- YOUHUHUHU FAHAHAHACK !!

He yelled as he was squirming like hell, trying to escape his boyfriend's tickly fingers. But Killer held him well, forbidding him to move to much as he was having very much fun going from the lowest rib to the upper one, listening to the hysterical laughter of the little gardian.

- See ? That's what I was talking about ! You're just so much ticklish.. ~

He teased him, kissing his cheek as he continued his assault.

- FUHUHUHUCK OHOHOHOHOFF !!

- That's not how you talk to you boyfriend, young man !

He jokingly reprimanded him as he blew a raspberry on his neck as punishment. Dream was screaming at this point, Killer was mercilessly spidering all over his ribs and tummy, nibbling on his neck while making sure he couldn't move to much, and the teases, oh lord the teases...

- Tickle tickle, baby boy.. ~ look at you, all squirming and laughing ~

Killer was very skilled when it came to torture. A little too much even. Dream was already so tired of his day, he really didn't have the energy to fight back that much. But at least his mood was better !

- STOHOHOHOP !!

He begged.

- Giving up so soon ? My my, that's not very fierce of you ~

He said, running his fingers all along the guardian's sides. He knew Dream could handle it a little longer, he knew when it was too much, he knew when to stop, so he kept going. He kept spidering, squeezing, scratching all over his ribs and tummy, occasionally blowing a raspberry, until eventually he decided Dream had enough and stopped everything, gently rubbing his belly to help him regain his breath.

- You're.. you're heartless..

Dream panted.

- Oh really ?

Killer asked with a little scratch on his side to make him giggle.

- Yehehahah..

He chuckled a little and kissed his forehead, laying down next to him. Dream quickly snuggled against his chest, now ready for his aftercare cuddles that Killer was more that happy to give him.

- I think you're the strongest person in the whole multiverse, the others are just too blind to see that..

- Thank you...

Dream smiled, much more happy now than a few minutes ago.

- I love you...

- I love you too, my golden angel...

Who cared about what the others thought ? Killer's opinion was all that mattered to him, and he thought he was very strong.

The last thing the gardian felt before falling asleep was his boyfriend hugging him thightly against his chest...

[darlingpwease]

Reader name now please :)) /j that's insane tho, I've read TGCF and SVSSS, and I've recently started reading MDZS. SVSSS is my favorite tho, but Mo Xiang Tong Xiu's works are amazing omgomg– There's very little content of them here on tumblr so it was like a blessing (no pun intended) when I saw you upload content for it!! You never cease to surprise me that's for sure /t /pos

I know damn well that I'd worship him so much that I'll challenge Hua Cheng 🛐🛐 I wanna cherish him and love him loads n loads– and even when you don't remember him, everytime you see him again you can't help but feel a tug towards him, a need, a crave,, and it drives you crazy, but when you find out he feels the same you can help but be blissfully happy about it. How no matter how many lifetimes you go through, you always remain his most loyal follower <333

-panna cotta

no<3 I know your fox habits, I won't fall for them again to let you escape~ /t /hj /pos she's my precious little thing~ she was very shy, but she wrote huge texts and was very deeply interested in asian mythology and elements of culture. I still remember how we discussed about the SVSSS and Luo Binghe & unhealthy dynamic.

I,,,, won't deny that I know the plot a little and spoilers, but I can't sit down and read it completely, it's much more interesting for me to read synopses, theories and headcanons than the original<///3

I mean, then why don't I see anything about it from you? huh? I caught you by your fox tail, didn't I? <333 /t /nsrs But seriously, I don't know, it's not that I've ever been passionate about these novels, but after I started hanging out with ai all the time... maybe I've become weaker towards them😔😔😔

I love you too, dear, I was also surprised when I saw that you even know about this novel,,,, although I probably shouldn't have, considering how much I talk to you and how little I know, because you just don't talk🙄🙄🙄 /t /j /nsrs

yes!!! yes, yes, Hua Cheng, you're cute and pretty, and you've done a good job and you're a good boy, now move away, I want to kiss this prettiest hubby<3333

whenever you see red earrings, dark hair, white clothes, gentle smiles, flowers, hear about the Gods and catch yourself thinking that your lover should definitely dance beautifully and do calligraphy, although it's not that you have someone who taught you such preferences or something like that — you just always knew that your lover is a picky eater, that he does not know how to cook well, that he loves flowers, that he believes that he can make people happy and will be ready to follow you to heaven and descend into the world of demons, just like you for him. even if he is naive and idealistic, believing that everything can be easily solved, loved and spoiled by everyone around, you loved him even before you met him, and you knew that it would be mutual, necessarily mutual. it doesn't matter what he looks like, it doesn't matter how you look, after all, this is your common tao of "loving each other" — at least that's what he tells you, gently kissing your face, whispering that you've already seen each other, you already know each other, while his thin fingers squeeze yours, intertwining just as your destinies are intertwined.

so gentle and loving when he clings to you, finally having the opportunity to hug you and cuddle, kiss, touch, love, knowing that nothing else is burdening either you or him, and seeing that you are as much the most devoted follower for him as he is for you, always knowing God about which no one taught you.

of course, you may be confused or confused, hearing that he is a God, knowing that the Gods cannot descend, but he does not regret it at all, in blind despair, clinging to you, kissing, feeling how the bitterness fills him when you do not look so absorbed in him, already wondering rather why he is so familiar do you know why this gentle smile and eyes full of adoration fill you with longing and sorrow that you could not live in past lives, still carrying a traumatic experience, and Xie Lian understands why you react this way, he understands everything, he's not as selfish and ignoring as before, but he can't help distracting you with petting and cuddling to you like a puppy, as before, and you feel a strange bitter joy seeing him trying to shrink into a hot lump on your chest, hiding his face like he did before. you know he's done this before.

but you can't remember when.

I look at him and think, "he's so cute. and so innocent. and so pretty. I want. I want to make him suffer or corrupt. or both. yes, both are good."

[kormenhq]

Have some fic dialogue prompts

All of these prompts are from Pinterest and other tumblr posts. If you want to use any of these in your requests, just tell me which section and what number it is!

FLUFF PROMPTS

1. "I think I might be falling in love with you."

2. "Your lips are so soft. I could kiss them all day."

3. "Mmm... You're warm."

4. "You're so cute when you're half asleep like this."

5. "I've had a rough day and honestly all I want right now is a drink and someone to cuddle with."

6. "No, you can't get up! You're my prisoner for today."

7. “Your hair is really soft after you wash it.”

8. “Shh. Stop fussing. I’m just braiding your hair.”

9. “You smell really nice.”

10. “Would it be alright if I borrowed your sweater? It smells like you.”

11. “If you steal the blankets, I am going to put my cold feet on you.”

12. “Here, let’s share the blanket.”

13. “You are my new pillow.”

14. “But I want to hear you sing.”

15. “We can talk over dinner.”

16. “Star-gazing was a good idea.”

17. “I think I love you.”

18. “It’s okay. I couldn’t sleep anyway.”

19. “Shush and go back to bed.”

20. “How about a kiss?”

21. “I’ve missed this.”

22. “It’s too cold! Come back!”

23. “No, I’m not letting you go. It’s too early to get out of bed.”

24. “C’mere, you can sit in my lap until I’m done working.”

25. “I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”

26. "I wanted to see you again."

27. "I thought 'If I just follow the rules, everything's gonna be fine.' And then you came along and pushed me off that path."

28. "You never cease to amaze me."

29. "I have to hand it to you, you certainly know how to make a statement."

30. "I plan to get to know you."

31. "You have something in your hair, umm... Do you want me to get it out?"

32. "No, like... It's just, I can't believe you're actually wearing my clothes."

33. "Would it be too cliche if we matched clothes a little?"

34. "I really love holding you, darling."

35. "Wanna, like- I mean, if you're not busy... We could get lunch? Or even just coffee if you don't have a lot of time?"

-

FUNNY PROMPTS

1. “Where are you going?” “Hell, most likely.”

2. “Where’s your crazy boyfriend?” “Probably doing crazy things.”

3. “I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you!” “And I’m trying to subtly avoid it!”

4. “Are you decent?” “Not morally, but I’m wearing pants, if that’s what you’re asking.”

5. “Why aren’t you dating him?” “Because I’d destroy him.” “He’d be into that.”

6. “Are you SURE I can’t punch him in the face?” “Yes.” “What if I just break his nose a little?”

7. “This is why we can’t have nice things.”

8. “You’ve thought about this, haven’t you?”

9. “Are you drunk?”

10. “Excuse me for freaking out, I only thought you were dead!”

11. “You’re gonna have to limp faster than that…”

12. “You whine about scratches but you don’t let out a peep when you’ve got a gaping wound! The hell is wrong with you?”

13. “I wouldn’t have done that if I knew you were hurt!”

14. “Is the fever getting to you or what?”

15. “Surprise! I’m back from the dead! Isn’t that exciting?”

16. “Can you hold this for me?” “No, I can’t. In case you didn’t know, not everybody has super strength.”

17. “I can’t believe you dragged me into this.”

18. “You think I’m dumb enough to fall for that stupid move?”

19. “It’s a real shame nobody asked for your opinion.”

20. “Go buy a personality.”

21. “Go to Hell.” “And leave you here all alone?”

22. “Are you sober?” “I’m moderately functional.” “I’ll take that as a no.”

23. “What do you know about it?” “More than you, apparently.”

24. “You’re not my favorite person today.” “I’m not your favorite person on any day.”

25. “You’re insane!” “I know! Isn’t it great?”

26. “Is it still murder if I give them a heads up?” “That’s called a threat.” “Damn.”

27. “You interrupt my reading once more, and this book will become a lethal weapon.”

28. “Kiss me, you twat.”

29. “Take my hand.” “No!” “Look, I’m not trying to ask you to marry me, I’m trying to save your life!”

30. “Just pretend to be my date.”

31. “They did it.” “No, they did.”

32. “It’s not a double date. We’re just third and fourth wheeling.”

33. “Shit, we’re gonna die.” “Now, I don’t wanna hear that negative attitude. Look on the bright side!” “Yay, we’re gonna die! Wooo!”

34. “If you do that again, I’ll throw you out that fucking window you- what are you doing?” “Checking how high the drop is, see if it’s worth it.”

35. "It's cute that you tried to protect me and all, but you're like a foot shorter than me, you know?"

36. "You can touch my hair, but don't mess it up!"

-

HURT/COMFORT PROMPTS

1. "Look, I know we don't know each other that well, but I'm still worried about you. No one deserves to be alone."

2. "If I could, I would kiss away all of your scars."

3. "It's not bad to cry. In fact, I think it makes a person stronger."

4. "Shhh, it was just a bad dream. Just a dream, okay? None of it was real."

5. “You know I’m/we’re always here for you, right?”

6. “Please talk to me about it.”

7. “Do the universe a favor: don’t hide your magic.”

8. “You’re trembling.”

9. “You’ve got to calm down before I can fix you up, okay?”

10. “I don’t know what’s wrong, okay? I’m just… really tired.”

11. “Shh, you’re safe. I won’t let you go.”

12. “No, no - it’s alright, come here.”

13. “I’m not going to leave you. You’re never going to have to suffer by yourself again, I promise.”

14. "There's nothing to be ashamed of."

15. "May I? Free of charge."

16. "If anything were to happen to you..."

17. "I thought I'd see how you were doing."

18. "I'll leave if you ask me to."

19. "You watch the people you care about age and die."

20. "When things get crazy, don't push me away."

21. "No, don't do that it's not safe."

22. "You're scared of that, aren't you?"

23. "I will always step in between you and something like that."

24. "Why? Because I don't want you to get hurt, that's why!"

25. "You can tell me whatever you want... Even if you don't have a reason to."

26. "Please stay. I'd like some company."

27. "Would you pet my hair?"

28. "I just want to be close to someone for a little bit. Is that okay?"

29. "Can I lay my head in your lap?"

30. "Here, lay down in my lap."

31. "You can't keep it all inside, you know? Bottling it up won't do any good."

[lovelycreativetragedies]

crawl home to ya⚡🌊

lego niniago fic, requested by nobody ( this is a re upload from my wattpad.) no trigger warnings! feel free to request.

follow me on wattpad for more frequent uploads + more fics. I upload on wattpad before tumblr:) ( @justwastingawayhere on wattpad)

context : based off of Nya and jay during the prime empire season. after nya gets cubed and jay is left alone to save ninjago yknow! (but with an alternative sad ending.)

based off of " Work song " by Hozier

main quote - > " when my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold dark earth, no grave can hold my body down, I'll crawl home to her. "

(flashback)

Jay was sobbing into the orange luminescent cube that used to be his world, nya. he couldn't do this alone. but he needed to try.

(end of flashback)

he trudged up the stairs of the monestary, pushing that memory out of his mind. he was so angry.

he had freed everyone from the clutches of that stupid damn game. except one. Nya.

somehow when she got cubed.. something went wrong. nobody knew why she hadn't came back. thats what pissed him off. he had failed to save the only person he loved, and nobody even knew why.

he stormed off to his room, ignoring the worried glances he got from the newly freed ninja.

he made it to his bed, flopping down on it and just sobbing. his real parents were right to leave him on a doorstep, a junkyard is right where he belongs.

After an uncomfortable slumber, he awoke to the sound of someone knocking on his door. he groaned. he didn't wanna hear from anyone right now.

He slowly pulled himself up, too tired to notice.. the water that littered his floor. which was definitely weird, the monestary didn't usually randomly have water leaking from anywhere. especially not his room.

when he opened the door, he found zane standing there with a worried look on his face. " hey jay? how are you doing? " zane asked, even though he knew the answer. jays tear stained eyes were enough of a hint. " not.. good.. " jay mumbled. Zane immediately hugged him, which was way out of character for him. zane never hugged anyone. jay accepted the hug, as zane came into his room, still having his arm wrapped tightly around jay.

" woah- your floor is covered in water. what in the name of ninjago happened? " Zane said, stepping over the puddles of water to jays bed. " I dunno. " jay said, sniffing as he was placed onto his bed. he leaned his head on zanes shoulder, sniffing.

Zane decided itd be a good idea to stay with jay tonight. so once he fell asleep, he also layed down and fell asleep.

in the middle of the night, jay awoke, startled. he heard water splashing, and he looked over to see Zane snoring next to him. what the hell was all that water? that's when he saw it.

a figure standing in the corner, covered in water. nya.

" nya!! " jay screamed, running towards her. but she got further and further away from him. " ꒐̶i̶m ̶s̶o ̶s̶o̶r̶r̶y ̶j̶a̶y." nya said, but her voice was all distorted and muffled.

then, jay woke up. that was a horrible nightmare.

he then noticed a blue light leaking out from just outside his bedroom door. not this again. it reminded him of the door to.. prime empire.

jay got up, slowly walking towards his bedroom door. he creeked it open, and only saw blue. he stepped slowly into the blue light.

when his vision finally focused again he noticed nya in the void of blue. it was only her, and she was crying.

" .. nya?.. is it really you this time? "

jay croaked out, stepping towards her.

" jay?? jay!! " nya screamed, running towards him and embracing him tightly. " oh god.. you don't know how much I wanted you to get my message. I can't- I can't get out of here! I'm trapped! wait- we're trapped!! "

jay then realised that as well, and like a lost dog, he spun around, noticing the same door he came through, still there. he grabbed nyas hand, dragging her towards the door. he jumped through it, throwing nya through. if he didn't make it through, he was making sure she would.

he landed roughly on the floor, he immediately rolled over, trying to grab hold of nya. when he finally did, he burst into tears and hugged her tighter than he ever had before.

" I thought you were gone forever nya! " he shouted, sniffing and choking on his sobs.

then zane shot up from the bed, running over to both of them. " nya?! jay- are you both okay?! "

" I'm okay! jay- oh god you're bleeding!! " nya screamed, grabbing him up from the floor. he hadn't even realized he had hit his head hard on the floor and it was bleeding pretty bad.

he still didn't let go of nya. he was so terrified she'd disappear again. nya sat him down on the bed, not trying to pull him off of her at all. whilst zane went to go get something to stop the bleeding on his head. this would be a delight to explain to the other ninja and master wu.

once jays head was taken care of, nya was scared that he might have a concussion. he hadn't spoke a word, just cried and whimpered and clung onto nya.

she layed him down in bed, staying next to him as they both slept.

everything would be alright.

[z1mmie]

Just finished Wednesday and I have so many thoughts--especially about our love interest boys--so I'm just gonna blab them all here:

(Spoilers!!)

I guess I'll just start with how frustrating I find xavier's character. Not from a writing standpoint--his charactization works perfectly for a teenage boy with a crush--but just how unable he was to understand Wednesday. That girl never said she was gonna be his friend and he KNEW she suspected him of being the monster

But he does NOTHING to change her mind!!!

I mean, correct me if I'm misremembering but all he did was get pissy and butthurt when she accused him and didn't give her any evidence to the contrary. She's only known you for what--a month? Maybe? How is she supposed to know what you're capable of??!

He just cant see stuff from her pov and it drives me crazy.

And now on top our actual monster tyler!

I got spoiled for this before I watched the whole show but I...am still hesitant to think that hes a full bad guy in this situation. The whole master-pawn situation leaves a lot of wiggle room when it comes to actual blame. And I wanna say that tyler is entirely faultless and never wanted to commit those murders.

Now the biggest evidence to the contrary is what he told Wednesday in the police station, but as someone else already pointed out--we don't know to what extent the master has control. Watching the scene closely I almost feel like theres a moment afterward where he snaps back after--like he was *ordered* to say that so Wednesday would lose faith in him.

However I have trouble coming up with *why* laurel would want him to do this. The only thing I can think of that she gains is that she prevents Wednesday from trying to split their connection or reach out to tyler specifically.

(As an aside I genuinely think that he liked her and that she liked him--i saw chemistry there! (tho I'd understand if he lost feelings considering she tortured him))

I just want to know more about the hyde situation and how it works in general and I'm hoping we will learn more considering one of the ending scenes in the finale.

Considering its direct connection to mental health, a further explanation could go really really poorly. We dont need anymore vilifying of bipolar disorder or traumatic stress, which is why I'm more inclined to believing that tyler is innocent of intention (relatively speaking).

But overall I really liked the show! I know theres been a lot of complaints about the Addams family portrayal and how it's not accurate and i can't say much on that since I never watched the originals. However, new adaptations will always have changes and as someone looking at this with almost no prior knowledge (I've watched the Addams family broadway musical) I think it achieved what it wanted to do. Wednesday was a fascinating protagonist, the story was interesting, and they introduced us to a new world that they can now further expand in s2. No complaints.

(I am hoping for more mooning for Wednesday tho because I think it's very amusing when she shows almost no interest in return (excluding tyler))

(I just wrote more in the last half hour for a damn tumblr post then I did for the 3 project I have due before Monday >w<)

[taegularities]

ah Rid Rid Rid i missed you 😭🧡 there's so much i wanna cover, i tried do catch up on all you've been up to and my god honey i'm so sorry that you were feeling down 🫂 it's absolutely okay and understandable because tumblr is not the same, engagement is not the same and it does get lonely here, i wish you wouldn't have to encourage anyone to give feedback for what you post, for teasers or ideas but i'm really hoping that it did and does help 🥺 I AM ABSOLUTELY 100000% EXCITED FOR CMI AND YOUR WIPS, there're so many times throughout each day when i think about you and your stories and lately cmi has been really occupying my thoughts bc i try to imagine what's gonna happen 🥹

and happy birthday to taegularities 🧡🎉💫 i'm so amazed that you've done so much, wrote so many stories and have this community here, love, you deserve a huge applause for those 2 years and i wish you all the years to come (as many as you want) to be happy, colourful, full of lovely messages and feedbacks, and the least lonely, like at all 🫂 I CAN'T REMEMBER EXACTLY IF I FOLLOWED YOU AFTER READING JUST CHANGES IN BETWEEN OR RIGHT AMOUNT OF WRONGS TOO but i felt so much in my heart, i was hit instantly with this sense that my heart knows your type of storytelling as if it was my own thought, emotion, i'd never felt this much connection with any writing ever before and i instantly followed you, i knew i had to eat up every word you'd written and i'm on this journey ever since, following taegularities back then was the best i could've done on tumblr but months later i set up this new blog and decided to show myself to you and it's the close 2nd place 🥹 as for many it took a lot of courage but you know it already i adore you and you're so amazing and lovely and so worth leaving the comfort zone to be able to show you the appreciation and love we have for you 🧡

ah godddd with that being said i'm so so sorry that i've been mia so much, and not responsive to what you've been putting up, i have to catch up on the 2nd cmi teaser and i'm waiting for a better time to write you a feedback of silk&stones that it deserves BC IT DESERVES A LOT OF AMAZING WORDS 😭 it's just a rough time for me in every aspect bc i'm moving this week (and i always hate doing that) and i'm managing my last days here with my mum that i love dearly, andd.. i'm gonna start a new job that i got, in a week and a half... it's not exactly in a place that i've wanted but it is the new profession that i said i wanted, so i'm excited that i can start working in that new field and learn and maybe later end up in a place that i'd want 🙏 but i'm also extremely nervous bc it's very new and not what i've studied for all those years 😂 so i'm just very overwhelmed but i know that i will come back as much as possible and try to be active (lowkey i'm checking if you're alive daily 🫶) and catch up and also be here to support you 🧡

I'M ABSOLUTELY NOT GOING ANYWHERE

so sorry for this being so long to everyone, love you Rid so so much 🧡 i missed you really, how's the situation with your new job? and how're THE DATES??? I'M SO NOSY AM I NOT 😈

C! HI, I MISSED YOU, TOO !!!!! ahhh, thank you 🫂 things (not just on tumblr, but irl, too) are still not the way they should be, but i've decided to not be too negative about everything and just vibe. i want to show y'all my best side, but i'll still always be honest about everything. i've also been talking to my mom a lot and doing stuff irl, so that helps a bit. you do so much for me, though, c !! i'm so so thankful for every message, every review and every lovely comment from you. and i know how much you love cmi, so that's definitely inspiring and helpful when i lose faith in myself or my writing 🥺

gosh, yes happy birthday to taegularities 😭 !! i'm genuinely so thankful for this lovely community... i don't think i'd still be here without you guys <3 so thank you. and gosh, whether you came after cib or raow, i'm just so damn thankful that you're here. your presence has been a great comfort. i'm worth leaving the comfort zone? i'm so so happy to hear that, and so happy i can provide such a safe space for you 🥺

and don't apologise about being mia at all !!! god, you've been doing so much, i'm so proud of you for powering through it all. a new place to live, a new job, are you kidding, that's amazing !!! please take your time with the teaser, feedback or any writing at all, you sound hella busy 🥺 i hope you get to relax properly very soon, and that you rest and hydrate enough. manifesting a good time at your job and an even better place later on !! thank you for checking on me btw 😭 i'm, surprisingly, still alive :') </3

my new job is probably going to start in april! i sent an email accepting it just today, so i'll see how that pans out. and the dates ugh. we went iceskating last week and it was genuinely beautiful. but rn, tbh... we're on a break, and not really talking to each other, bc he said a few things that don't align with my thinking and mentality at all, so... no particular updates so far. i'll let you know what happens in the future, though :') i love you, dearest c <333

[coldercreation]

skdjaks im catching up on ur recent posts cuz ive been inactive on tumblr, and i came across the one where u and some ppl in the replies lament on loving the idea of relationships but never developing crushes rlly and finding it hard to date and whatnot, and damn i relate. i was gonna comment but i wanna stay anon for now, so i am in ur inbox instead huhu. but yh i deal w the same thing, ppl have had crushes on me before, but ive never once returned them? and like even if i find someone attractive as far as i know that doesn’t translate to wanting to bone… blech. i was talking to my friend abt this yesterday, and i was telling her that maybe ill try just going on dates and figure out how i tick?? general research has led me to id as demi after contemplating ace when i was like 13 so,,, who knows rlly. tldr i am similar and i get being confused abt it H

Ohh this is so interesting actually! Like, I genuinely wasn't expecting that so many of you would relate when I wrote that post??🤔 Obviously I knew that there's no way that I'm the only one on this whole planet, but still, seems a lot more common than what I had thought!

I'd like to think that it's very much okay to be confused by these kinds of things, no matter how frustrating it can also be. That's pretty much what I've been telling myself recently. Even if I'd like to find someone I really connect with and to have a relationship, there's no rush or need to force anything immediately just for the sake of it. Maybe it can even be fun to explore with time, and to figure out those things that will make us tick?

For me it's probably more about working on my social life in general than about anything else. Especially since the apps clearly don't do it for me and there's not really any other ways to meet new people. But I'm kinda feeling optimistic about it, mostly because I've been enjoying being social so much more lately!

Thank you for sharing love! This topic has been so interesting and I've enjoyed hearing everyone's experiences xx

///

Huge RAMBLE warning lmao:

I actually brought this topic up in therapy after we chatted about it here, kinda just theorised about it while trying to make sense of it all. My/our conclusion was that, for me, it could stem from ✨trauma✨ and needing a lot of time to truly open up/warm up to people (demi?/trust issues/hyper-independence). And since the societal norm is to often move a lot faster than that, I haven't even had the time to see the possible connection/spark/whatever in people, because they've already deducted, based on me having been very cautious and closed off, that I'm not interested, and so they moved on. Which in turn could've made me feel unwanted or uninteresting or unattractive or even abandoned, y'know? So I'd be left confused, feeling like there was something wrong and unattractive? about me, while also wondering why I'm never actually interested in anyone even though I've always longed for those deep connections with people.

Nowadays I've been feeling a lot lighter and... open? I guess, and I can genuinely see a change in the way people approach me? Or maybe they've always approached me the same way but I just wasn't able to be receptive to it🤔 Dunno! But there must've been some sort of micro-visible behavioural shift in me or something, because as soon as I have started to feel like I can and want to seek out people's company and I genuinely enjoy it, people are just... suddenly there? Whereas before there was this void?? Even when I tried to change that.

And despite me not having met anyone specific I'd be interested in dating, I have felt like I could actually do it now if the right person came along. (When I tried dating through apps years ago I felt like I was forcing it. It was very surface level and short lived, didn't feel... right?) And with that 'shift', or whatever it is that's changed in my behaviour??? I've literally been dodging date invites this past year like it's a sport???? Like tf?😭😂 This is mind boggling to someone who has for years thought that no one just gives a shit about me and there's something so unattractive about me that that's why no one shows any interest... But I think it really is a lot to do with some strange subtle messages that were given off? (and maybe also me leaving the house sometimes lmao....) I believe I wrote it in one of the more brainy stories as well, maybe CYE?, that if someone's whole body language, subconsciously or not, screams 'leave me the fuck alone', people are likely to leave them alone. And if we're not aware that that's the message we're giving off, it can very easily make us feel confused and like something's inherently wrong with us.

But then again, I don't think I would've been ready for anything like this a few years back, so perhaps the brains are smarter than we think and know that it takes time to heal. My therapist agreed that not having crushes could be due to so many things, but what I was saying did track to him. Slow to warm up/demi? + (social) anxiety + trauma are a hell of a combo when it comes to building new relationships. No matter why I'm not having crushes easily, he told me to take it easy on myself and to be understanding; after dealing with mental health crap and trauma for most of my life, it'd be very unreasonable to compare myself to the societal 'standards' or expect myself to do things in the same phase as other people are. Like, I had other shit to deal with growing up, so maybe I'm just now feeling like I'm ready to be myself, and it's okay to take things slow.

(And while writing that, speaking about people suddenly being there when before I felt like no matter what I tried, I was struggling to connect with people; I just got a thank you text from someone I helped at work when they were upset about something, and they said they'd love to see me (this one is in a friend way, not a date way) outside of work sometime as well :((((( is it weird if I cry lmaooo) xx

[ma3mae]

Chapter 1 : Alone

Author's note: A a a this is my first time publishing a fanfic on tumblr and arcane has ruined my life so here we are, lads.

Words: 3347

Masterlist

Your hands were freezing due to the cold outside making it more difficult to properly grasp your key.

                   Clanking was all you heard as you pulled your keys out of the pocket of your pants to unlock your apartment's door. You were coming home from working in a parcel service. It was a pretty okay job for you but working 10h while having had less than 4h of sleep last night did a real number on your body.

"Damn, winter season.", you grumbled as you fumbled with your key. You only liked winter when you would be inside your apartment and watch the snowflakes fall down while snuggling into your comfortable blanket.

Atleast it was the last day before the start of your vacation.

But no, it was cold, wet and your body was screaming for rest. It was telling you that you should hurry towards your bed but you had promised yourself to finally start watching Arcane. It had been one of the only things that you had been planning to do as soon as you would finally have a well deserved vacation for yourself to enjoy.

Quickly unlocking the door and turning on the lights, you hurriedly went in and shut the door behind you. Sighing in relief, you could feel your body literally inhaling the warmth of your cozy tiny apartment.

"Okay, gotta be quick because we really wanna get into a blanket real fast. ", you told yourself as you threw your shoes onto the wooden floor of your entrance. That's where also your jacket and scarf ended up.

Literally speed walking towards your bedroom, you hastily pulled off your work clothes, getting your head stuck in the process of it.

"I swear to fucking god, why the hell would they give me a shirt that's too damn SMALL?!"

As smart as you were, you forgot to open the buttons of your shirt, but here you are. Struggling due to your own impatience.

"LET ME CHANGE MY CLOTHES, OH MY GOD", you yelled as your voice got muffled by your shirt.

Oh lord, how did you manage to survive this long on earth? Well that's what you would ask yourself nearly every day.

Finally your head had managed to get out of the clutches of your shirt and it somehow still had all of it's buttons.

Not that you cared though.

All you wanted was to have some time for yourself and that could only be achieve by two things.

Snacks and Netflix.

Having put on a oversized grey shirt and sweatpants, you took a quick look in the mirror, which was hanging next to your door.

"Ah yes, just how we like it. Don't we?", you asked yourself. Looking back were your slightly greasy and messy hair, dark eyebags and dry skin.

"Perfect look for a movie night", you told yourself as you went out of your room. The perks of having a small apartment was that your kitchen and living room were connected so you were able to turn on your TV while throwing some chips into a bowl, big enough for 4 people.

After having grabbed your favorite energy drink and some cans of Coke, you plopped onto the couch. Grabbing your blanket, you silently squealed out of excitement. It had been so long since you actually had the time and the motivation to watch a new series.

"I can't believe I'm actually doing this!! Finally some rest and peace and nothing's better than a night watching a new series", you smiled to yourself while grabbing the remote from your small table infront of your couch.

Turning on your TV, you opened up Netflix.

You were a sucker for any kind of animated series but you had never really played League of Legends.  You heard of the series some months ago from one of your colleagues as they asked if you've ever heard about it since they knew you had an interest in these kinds of things.

But you hadn't and they told you to watch the announcement trailer of it and that's what you did as soon as you got home and boy were you excited.

So there you were, having waited for months and turning on it's first episode.

-------------------------------------------------------

"Fuck, yes", you smiled to yourself as you watched the episode start.

Oh boy.

Oh boy were you in for a trip.

You really didn't know what would await you and you clearly got to witness it now.

You were now at Episode 3. Already having to stop yourself from crying because shit went down real quick in these past episodes and you weren't sure how to feel about the upcoming ones or if you would be mentally prepared for what's more to come.

No, you didn't hate the series. In fact you already loved it so much that it hurt you. It made you feel so many things at the same time. excitement, Sadness, Anger and more. But you had the feeling that more trauma would unfold during the series and that's what you were slightly afraid of.

"Okay, okay. Just stay strong, Y/N."

Lightly slapping both of your cheeks with your hands, you take a deep breath as you took the remote into your hand.

"You got this."

-------------------------------------------------------

You just HAD TO know how it would go on so with one push of a button, the fourth episode began to play.

And there you were.

Sitting on the couch watching last episode's credits roll on your TV.

Too stunned to speak or even react.

"Wait, what?", you blurted to yourself, doubting if everything you just watched had really happened.

You sit up straight with furrowed brows and squinting eyes. Grabbing the remote next to you and rewinding to watch the episode's last twenty minutes.

"I think the fuck not that just happened. "

But it did.

What made you so stunned, that it nearly irritated you?

Well, you couldn't really believe that that was the end of the first season. No, it wasn't bad at all. It was perfect. Watching everything come together in the end, but also having to witness Jinx's spiral into madness, Vi's and Caitlyn's helpless faces as she launches Fishbone at the Piltover council chamber right as the council approves Jayce's proposal to grant Zaun it's independence.

What a coincidence, right?

You never thought that you would feel so mentally drained after having watched a series.

It made you feel so many emotions at once. You were clearly whipped for most of the characters especially the women.

Especially Vi and Jinx. You couldn't clearly explain it for yourself why it was these two that made you feel so strongly attached to them. That made your heart ache at the same time.

Was it because you wanted to take Vi's bruised hands into your own and tell her that she didn't have to shoulder everything by herself? Or was it Jinx, whom you just wanted to hug and giver her a kiss on her forehead while telling her that she's not alone?

You just wanted to comfort both of them so much that it hurt you but you weren't sure if you would be the right person for that since you also had your own mental baggage to deal with.

But you would atleast try to help.

Turning your head to your right, you took a look at the clock hanging on your wall.

"Fuck, 4am already? Good thing that I've got plenty of time to sleep in", you mumbled as you stretched your body. Peeling your blanket off of your body, you made your way towards the bathroom while turning off your TV and throwing the remote back onto the couch.

"Eyyy nice" you proudly told yourself as the remote didn't fall off of your couch.

Going through your daily routine of getting ready for bed (which basically consists of brushing your teeth and going to the toilet) you went straight to your bedroom. You walked past the small mess you made, not caring to put away your bowls filled with leftover chips and empty cans of energy drinks or coke.

"Wait, my phone.", you remembered as you went back towards to table infront of your couch. Luckily your apartment was small enough so your living room was technically infront of your bedroom.

Turning on your phone's flashlight, you open the door. Letting the light flow into your bedroom, you take a quick glance at your floor.

You clicked your tounge. "Shit, I forgot about these", you grumbled as you saw many of your clothes sprawled across the floor. "Nevermind, I'll do it tomorrow or more like later.", you told yourself as you shut the door behind you and made your way towards your bed while casually stepping over your clothes.

Climbing into your bed, you pull your blankets over your body. Since you had the tendency to get cold quickly, you slept with two and it was also way more comfortable.

"Aaah, so soft", you sighed satisfied while snuggling into your blanket. Lying on your right side, you turned towards your bedside table and plugged in your charger for your phone. Before going to bed, you always had to turn on an alarm clock because you wanted to avoid sleeping until 4pm since it would be already dark around this time.

Putting your phone onto the bedside table, you grab your second pillow, lying above your head and putting it into your arms.

"Finally, some sleep", you mumble drowsily, yawning and blinking away your teary eyes.

You snuggle your face into your pillow as you close your eyes, not needing too long to drift off into your dreams.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

CRASH

Startled, you snap your eyes open as you hear a crashing sound infront of your door.

That could only mean that it came from your living room.

Quickly sitting up, you grab your phone to take a glance at the time.

8am.

You stay still as you hear shuffling and a rough moan eminate from your living room.

What.

The.

Fuck.

Was all you could think as you sat there, multiple thoughts racing inside of your head at the same time.

Every one of them was playing out the worst scenario that could happen.

Did someone break in?! Why the fuck would they?! Oh my god, will I fucking die?? Wait, am I supposed to regret that I did wish for it?! BUT I DIDN'T WANT TO GET BRUTALLY STABBED BY A MURDERER, OHYMGO-

Your train of thought stopped as you heard a voice, making you freeze immediately.

You didn't even dare to move a single finger.

"Ow, what the fuck?!"

Okay, I do NOT know whatever the fuck they just said but that wasn't english at all nor another language that I know of.

You really didn't want to be racist but you were really confused about why someone foreign would think that you would have anything valuable inside of your small ass apartment?

WAIT, THATS NOT THE POINT!! SOMEOME BROKE INTO MY HOUSE A. A A

You reached for your baseball bat underneath your bed while trying not to make a sound.

Why did you have one? Well you were paranoid and you've always wanted one just to say that yoh have one even though you don't play baseball at all.

But you would finally get to use it. Not that you were happy about that.

You were holding back from shitting yourself.

You slowly got up with a tight grip onto your bat, listening to the voice.

"Where the fuck am I?! Shit! I don't have time for this bullshit!"

Again, you didn't understand any of it but you were able to pick out a bit of panic inside of their voice and you were pretty sure they were swearing. Swear words were easy to differentiate from other words, no matter what kind of language it is. Angry tone and a word? You know they're swearing.

Atleast that's what you think.

Having reached your door, you put your hand onto it's handle while also putting your ear onto the door.

Maybe they'll leave by themselves???

You thought wishfully as you tried to listen to their movements. You gotta admit that they were doing a pretty shitty job sneaking into your place since they were being loud as fuck.

"What even is this place??"

Slowly you were really wishing that whatever language they were speaking, would be understandable for you since their voice seemed to belong to a woman and frankly speaking, it sounded quite nice.

Wh h h hhat the fuck, are we thirsting over a potential murderer????

You couldn't believe yourself. You nearly wanted to laugh at yourself for being this unbearable while potentially not having long enough to live.

You surpressed a nervous laugh making your body shake a little.

"I swear to fucking god, whoever di-"

So did the door's handle.

"What was that?"

​​And that's it.

You were offically dead.

OHYMFKD WHAT THR FUCK, WHY DID I DO THA-

Step

Step

Step

You were on damn high alert as you heard them walk around your living room.

Please don't tell me this is happening.

Were they coming towards your room?

Yes.

Were you about to shit yourself?

Yes.

You quickly went behind your door, hoping that maybe God would bless you with monster like strenght, so you could knock the shit out of the intruder.

Or maybe my fucking personal murderer.

You bitterly thought to yourself as you braced yourself phsycially.

And most importantly mentally.

You heard the footsteps coming to a stop infront of your door.

Your breath hitching as you heared the handle of your door shake a little.

Fuck.

DON'T OPEN

Slowly, you saw the handle being pushed down, your door opening very slowly.

PLEASE

You were crying at this point, already wishing for this to be another shitty surrealistic dream of yours.

But this time it wasn't and that door wasn't closing any time soon.

It was doing the damn opposite of it.

As the door opened wider, you were slowly seeing the daylight from outside of your living room seeping into yours and casting the intruder's shadow onto the floor.

But your sight was too blurry to see anything at this point.

Right now, you were just hoping that they would be easy to knock out.

Finally the door had opened fully and you were sure your knuckles were about to pop from how tight your grip was onto that bat of yours.

Thinking that they hadn't noticed you yet, they just stood at the entrance. Probably scanning your room or something.

Not that it mattered.

Right now, you could even hear their slightly shaky breath similar to yours.

"So someone lives here.", you heard them mumble to themself.

Their foreign language making you panick more since you were already so unsure of everything and hearing them talk made you even more terrified this time.

One step and I'll do it.

Taking in a shaky breath, you readied yourself to swing.

And there they were. Taking a step into your room.

"EAT SHIT, YOU FUCKER" you yelled as you swung your bat towards them.

Guess who was on your side?

Definitely not luck because they fucking managed to block it easily with their left arm, somehow TOSSED that bat out of your hands and quickly grabbed you by your collar.

And everything in not even a single damn second.

Everything was happening so damn fast and you couldn't even make anything out since your sight was blurry due to your tears.

Slamming you against the wall of your room and also hitting your head due to the impact, made you quite lightheaded and you were seeing a bit of stars.

They put their arm onto your neck, slightly choking you.

"Thought you could surprise me, huh? Didn't fucking think so.", they hissed at you making you surpress the urge to wail. You didn't have to understand them to know that they weren't gonna take shit from you after that stunt you pulled off.

Shit, you were definitely gonna die.

Squeezing your eyes out of pain and fear, you whimpered.

" I-I'm s-sorry. I'm sorry , just p-please d-don't kill me. J-Just take what you want and leave me alone."

You prayed that they would just maybe let you off.

You were fine with them taking everything you had. Just not your life.

Atleast not like this.

You could feel their hot breath hitting your face. They were too close for your liking but you just wished they would take their damn arm off of your neck since it was getting difficult to breathe by every passing second.

Somehow God had granted you mercy and heard you wish, as you felt their grip on you loosen up and finally letting go of you.

You fell onto your knees as your legs had gotten too shaky to stand on, the adrenaline wearing off.

Grabbing your neck, you began to cough and having grown a newfound appreciation for air.

Your intruder was standing infront of you, not moving any kind of muscle. You weren't sure what to think of that but right now you just wanted to catch your breath.

"Where am I?", you heard their voice being directed towards you.

"What?", you wheezed out, blinking away your tears as you moved your head up to get a look at them.

"The fuck did you just say?", you heard them reply. Whatever they said, you sure as hell didn't understand it but you got a feeling that they were probably confused about the language just like you.

Feeling a weird feeling of deja vu, you quickly wipe your tears away with the back of your hand to get a proper look at your intruder.

You were stunned.

"No fucking way. ", you muttered under your breath.

That was an understatement.

You were beyond shocked.

You sat there, eyes wide and mouth open.

The "intruder" only quirked an eyebrow at you  as they saw your expression.

That's it.

You are finally beginning to hallucinate.

You couldn't believe it.

More like didn't want to believe it.

Here they were standing infront of you in their whole presence.

You could feel your brain just shutting down.

Panic was starting to creep in and you were pretty sure you were starting to hyperventilate judging from their slightly panicked face as they crouched down to your level.

The feeling of getting choked returned, only this time no one was choking you.

It was your damn mental state killing you this time.  Everything that had happened came crashing down onto you and them being here only made it worse.

It broke all kind of sense inside of your mind.

"H-Hey, Hey! Shhh, It's okay. It's okay. ", you could barely register them having grabbed your shoulders from preventing you slamming onto the floor but you were too busy hyperventilating and having an existential crisis.

How was this possible?

How was it possible that Vi was infront of you?

The very person you had watched through the screen.

The very person you had watched going through plenty of trauma and hardship just to survive and protect what's important to her.

You were beyond scared.

Yet here she was, trying to get you to calm down.

But you weren't gonna do that anytime soon.

Infact  you were starting to see your vision going black, her voice becoming nothing but akeen to an echo in the back of your mind.

"Nonono, it's okay! You gotta stay awake, okay?! I'm so sorry but I really need you to be awake right now!"

You could faintly feel her hands on to your face, holding it up to get you to look at her.

Huh, they felt pretty rough but really warm...

But your body couldn't handle all this stress anymore and frankly, you just wanted everything to stop.

And so it did.

Finally you could rest.

The last thing you saw was a blur of pink before everything turned black.

[stcveskent]

never letting go ; chris evans

warnings : smut and fluff <3 minors dni

and also its my first smut on tumblr so im scared

pairings: chris evans x reader

requested on wattpad

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it started with a small argument. Ever since he started working with one of this lady, Kiara. he kept on talking about her, and told his mother about her and praised her a lot of times.

You ignored it a few times, but then you noticed how long he'd talk to her on calls, and you had that bit if suspicion that he isn't interested in you after you two got married and he was cheating on you with her.

The ASP programme was a success, for which all of them decided to have a stress reliving get together and obviously, chris agrees and also takes you out with him, as his plus one.

Chris again, started talking to her, and they were really close, so by sitting and looking at them talking, you felt jealous, and you sighed turning to go get a drink, to which he didn't even notice it.

Mark Kassen, one of Chris's friends, and also yours after you've seen him a million times at your place and on many gatherings.

"Hey!" He spoke, and you turned to him, a smile on yoir face as you greeted him.

"Mark! Hey!" You said and he smiled nodding.

"Its been long y/n, damn! Chris is a lucky man." He complimented, making you blush and giggle.

"Thank you, and you look great." You complimented him, and he nods. You and him indulge into a conversation and all of your attention which was on chris a while ago, has turned to him.

Two-three drinks later, Yours and his laughs, were loud, and you both didn't care, you were enjoying his company, because its really been that long since you laughed. Chris was always busy, and he always had time for Kiara, but when it comes to you, he brings some excuses.

"Oh god! Its been so long since i've laughed that bad." You spoke, still laughing.

"I know i am funny, you didn't had to compliment me all the time." He spoke and you rolled your eyes. The only thing you didn't notice that as soon as you started to smile and laugh next to Mark, Chris started to notice.

All his attention which was on Kiara, has turned to you. He noticed how you dressed, it was similar to the times when you dressed for him in the newly married days.

"So you looked upset when i came here? Is everything okay?"

"was that really that evident?"

"People say i am very great at reading people's face and thoughts, so guess for me, yea." He says and you giggle.

"As a friend i'd love to hear you, it makes you feel less heavy."

A sigh left your mouth, and he brought you a drink, and you looked up to him.

"Thank you, so, for the past couple of days, i mean weeks, i-i feel like Chris and I, weren't meant to be, i feel like the love between us is one sided, and he really doesn't love me anymore." You said your head down, and you spoke your thoughts out, it really did make you feel light

"I would be lying if i agreed to you, Y/n, he loves you so much, sometimes when you called him between meetings, he would have a smile on his face, so bright that everyone near him knows, that its your call, and when he hears your voice before any meetings, he really says everyone, that my girl really knows how to make me feel better, trust me Y/n! he loves you." He says, keeping a hand in yours, Chris noticed it and came towards both of you.

"Thank you, this really made me bette—"

"Hey! Mark." Chris says hugging him and then stands next to you

"Y/n?" Chris called

"Yes?" You asked and looked at he looks at you.

"can we leave?" He asks as he slides his hand on your waist, and put his head on your neck.

"See, i told you!" Mark says and you giggled

"It was nice to talk to you, I think we'll leave, he's tired." You said and he nods.

"I had alot of fun talking to you, see you soon!" He said and hugged you, and after your goodbyes, you two walked out, his hand on your waist.

As both of you sat down in his car, you notice how angry he looked, which honestly turned you on. He started to drive, your eyes on your side of the window.

"you won't speak?" you asked

"About what?"

"about why you look mad."

"you should ask that question to yourself."

"Well what did i do? Care to enlighten me?" That, that's where the point you started getting mad.

"y/n, you're pushing your luck!" He warned, parking his car near yours and his house. You both got out of the car, and you walked your way inside as you unlocked it

"i am pushing my luck?!" You asked as you sat down.

"do you want me to remind you what you did?"

"Ofcourse!" You said and rolled your eyes.

"You flirted with him, you flirted with my friend, Mark! Obviously i got mad!"

"funny how i saw you and Kiara flirting like hell, and if i just talked you feel like i flirted, great job christopher."

"Don't pull this on me!" He yelled

"YOu're pulling it on me, and it's not me, who were flirting with a girl, when their wife was next to them!"

"y/n enough!"

"No! What would you do if I didn't stop—" as soon as you said that, his lips smashed over yours, shocked at first, you kissed him back, roughly as he roughly kissed you, full teeths and tongues. Your arms instantly wrap around his neck as you pull him closer.

Small grunts and moans leave yours and his mouth as his hands travels from your face to your sides, he pulls away for a while.

"You need to be taught a lesson!" He said as you looked into his now-dark eyes blown with lust. He picks you up in his arms and puts you on the bed as he looks at you with a smirk. He comes closer and you look at him, your breathe hitches as you him.

he kissed you, with the same energy, and you being a smart ass, riped his shirt off as soon as he kissed you, a small chuckle left his mouth as he saw the eagerness in you, and then his hands on your back as he unzips that pretty dress of yours, leavimg in your bra and underwear.

"Eager are you, baby?"

you nodded, wrong move!

"i'm sorry what was that, talk to me, baby."

"Yes yes i am!" You said desperate for his touch over yours.

He pressed his lips on yours and his fingers hooked on your panties, you moaned as you felt his hands close to your clit, he smirks, and pulls away and throws your panties away. You whinned as the cold air hit your clit, and he just smirks

He groans at the sight of it, wet, just like how he liked.

"You made me angry honey, will you be a good girl for me? will you listen to daddy?" He spoke, his voice was low , raspy and sexy. You whinned.

"you have to talk to me, not whine or else you will be punished!" He groans near your ears, as his hands tease you, by simply running his hands over your thighs.

"Yes daddy i'll be good." You spoke.

"That's my girl!" He says before putting your one leg over his shoulder, and you meet his eyes, which were blown with lust. He pressed kisses on yoir thighs and then licked a strip of your clit, you moaned as you felt his tongue, your hands grabbed his soft locks, to which he groaned

He continues to eat you, and your moans were unstoppable, and he would eat you as long as he wants, you were sure it was a longgg night.

"Chris please!" You begged, and he immediately pulled away.

"what did you say honey?"

"Daddy please!" You corrected yourself and he continues, before you know you're already close and he feels you.

"You wanna cum baby?"

"Yes daddy i want to pleasee!" You begged and h smirks.

"Cum baby." As soon as those words leave his mouth you came undone, with a loud moan, but that still didn't stop him. It felt like he was starved, and got his meal after weeks.

"Who's making you feel this good?" As soon as he asked a question you answered immediately, or else you knew what he could do.

"You, daddy only you!"

"That's good baby, you're a good girl, baby!" He said

Just by eating you out he made you cum endless times , to which you've lost the count of.

He pulls away and kissed you, you could taste yourself. His hands made its way to your bra and unclasps it, throws it away to the pile of clothes on the floor. His fingers found its way to your clit and he starts to pump them. Your eyes roll , and he just gets turned on more by that look of yours.

He starts to press kisses on your neck, to your chest , to your everywhere before connecting them again to your lips. Your legs were shaking, and he knew how close you were by just his fingers.

"you wanna cum again baby?" He asked and you unable to talk by the condition you were in with him.

"give me one more i know you can do it." He pleased and then that was it, you came on his fingers, now you were breathing heavily under him, both of your bodies covered with sweat.

He lines himself, and kisses your neck leaving marks, before slowly whispering into your ears,

"Are you ready for me?"

"Y-yes." Just as you gave him the permission, he pushed himself in you, both of you moaning at the feeling of warmth of each other. Your arms around his neck, as your legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer.

he starts to move, your legs shaking heavily, as you arched your back. He started pressing kisses all over your chest.

"God! You're so tight!" He groaned, as you gasped, his one hand tangled with yours on the bed.

"only i can make you feel that good, no one else can!am i right?" He spoke, and yes he was right, no one other than him can make you feel this good. He thrusted into you, your whole body numb.

"yes only you."

"that's right, only i can!." He grunted as he felt how close you were , and he knew he was close too.

"daddy i'm close!"

"I know, baby, don't cum until i do." He says, as you feel how slow he has begun, but he didn't stop.

"You're mine, all mine!" He says and cums, followed by you, yours and his forehead resting againsy eachother as both of you heavily breathed.

"I'm all yours." You spoke between gasps, as he kissed your forehead.

He stoods up to go get a wet towel to clean you up, and then later throws it in the laundry basket. Laying next to you, he pulls you closer and you turn to him, facing him as he kissed you softly again and again.

"Was i rough?" He spoke softly, as he looked into your eyes.

"Nope, you were perfect, for me though I don't know about my legs though." You said and both of you giggled , wrapping your arms around his neck

"i was not flirting babe, he was telling me about how much you loved me." you spoke softly, and he looked at you.

"i'm sorry, for yelling at you."

"I'm not mad at you babe, i was just feeling like there's no love between us, i felt how distant we both have became due to time, I couldn't stop thinking about it, and you know I blamed myself for it.

"i can never stop loving you, never in my life! You're the love of my life, i'm sorry i made you feel that way."

"and jealous too!" You said smirking.

"oh really from who?" He asked , pretty boy was confused.

"maybe if you spend more time with me more than Kiara."

"oh damn, well that's okay i can do that. I'm not letting you go." He says and you smile at him.

"That's like a good boy, and im not letting you either." You said and he kissed you.

"I love you so much." He says and you kiss his nose

"I love you too!" You said as both of you slowly drifted to sleep, it was one of your best nights with him, both of you tangled in bed with white sheets covering you both, your arms around him and his arms around you as he pressed small kisses on your forehead before he falls asleep.

_____________________________________________

istg I can't write smut 😤😩

this is my first smut (on tumblr lol ) feedbacks are very much appreciated 💙

[ladydeznutz]

When He Loved Me (Peter Parker x Reader)

A/N: My first fic and it's angst that came into my head around 3am. I've always wanted to write fics, but I didn't like how I wrote and I was embarrassed. First time writing for others so I tried to keep away from using just she/her pronouns, but if that's what you'd like just lemme know

I can write for other fandoms, and imma make a list of the fandoms I like bc I have so many I forget. I'll also add some other things if it interests me. Not comfortable with nsfw just yet so apologies. Anyways, enjoy the fic ig and please give me criticism if you see something wrong

idk how tumblr works with spacing and all that so hopefully this comes decent looking

Prompt: Please, don't leave me.

TW: S**cide mention

Every day had started to feel the same to you for a while now.

It started when he began missing date nights with you. He was always so excited about them, and then they were happening less and less often. You still saw him on occasion, but it felt more like "business" than anything else.

You didn't get the same giddy feeling you used to get when you'd see him; it felt like going out with him was more of a chore. You couldn't even complain to him about it even if you wanted to. Anytime you did see him long enough, he was always gone within a second, always in a rush. You never knew what he even did with himself or if he was thinking about you at all.

It definitely didn't help that you'd always catch him hanging out with his friends. You confronted Ned about it, but he was always so dismissive. Hell, you had even talked to Michelle about the whole thing. At first, she sympathized, but then it was as if a switch was flipped. You used to go to her to vent about Peter and the relationship. Now, she was practically telling you that you were overreacting.

----

You felt like you were going to have a mental breakdown.

Learning about a loved one's passing is always one of the hardest things for anyone to deal with, especially when it's someone you deeply care about.

You had just received the news that your best friend had killed himself a couple of hours ago.

You didn't know how to feel.

You couldn't wrap your head around it. There was no warning.

You and he had been friends since childhood, and you knew each other so well that neither one of you could even remember a time when the other wasn't around.

Your hands shook as you picked up the phone to call Peter. Your tears finally fell as you listened to the constant ringing of the phone, and you knew he wasn't going to answer. Rage grew within you as you heard his voicemail message causing you to throw your phone across the room. It crashed into the wall and broke, but you didn't pay any mind to it as you fell to the ground and let out a wailed sob.

Why did this have to happen?

You could barely catch your breath between sobs.

Your body shook.

You didn't care about anything anymore.

You didn't care about Peter anymore.

----

Weeks had passed, and Peter was exhausted.

Tracking down a gang, taking them down, and meeting another Spider-Man had just been a lot for him to take in. He was so tired, he didn't even want to think about it anymore. His back ached as he climbed through his window.

He was just so damned tired.

He stripped out of his suit, took off his web-shooters, and placed them back in his closet. Then, he took a quick shower.

His job was a bit easier to have Ned and MJ know he was Spider-Man. Now he just had to tell you.

Peter stood in the middle of the room and weighed out what would happen. He felt sorry for lying to you, and he knew that he was being distant. He just didn't have the courage to deal with any of it because he was worried about you. He couldn't lose you too.

As Peter lied down to finally get some rest, he wondered how you were doing. Karen had said you tried calling him, but he couldn't answer he had been in the middle of a stakeout.

He got up and rummaged through his book bag to get his phone, turning it on to scroll through his messages. He sat up as he realized how many he had gotten. Had something happened?

As he scrolled through, his heart broke. So many people had posted about the loss of Jay and were gossiping about why he did it. When he finally went through them all, he looked at your one missed call and gulped.

You had called him that day, and he didn't pick up.

He clicked the voice mail and listened to the message. All that he could hear were your pained sniffles, a shout, and then the line cut off.

He felt sick as he replayed the message.

Peter already felt awful about lying to you; he had to fix this. He quickly texted you, put his web-shooters back on, and was ut the window.

He knew the way to your house, so it took him no time to et there. As he was getting ready to knock on your window, he did a double-take and took a closer look.

Someone was sitting in your room; it looked like he had been waiting for you. Peter quirked an eyebrow as he looked at the guy. He was wearing a red and green jacket with shorts and sneakers. He also looked like he was wearing tights?

Suddenly, you walked into the room, so Peter backed away from the window to hide in the shadows. You seemed to be upset as you were wiping your eyes quite a bit.

"I'm sorry Miles. I didn't think I'd start crying like that," you said as you sat on your bed.

"Hey, it's okay," he replied as he stood up and moved closer to you. You sniffled as you tried to regain your composure. Peter didn't quite know how to react. Who was this? What was going on?

"I just...he..." you groan out in frustration as you grip your hair. Miles' eyes widen as he sees tears start flowing from your eyes again.

"You wanna talk about it?" he asks as he wraps an arm around your shoulders. You shrug as you shake your head.

"It's complicated, and besides, that's what our therapy's for" you chuckle dryly. Miles' eyes wander the room as he tries to think of something to do to cheer you up. "How 'bout we go out tonight?" he suggests.

"I don't like the tone of that voice" you sass as you turn to give him a look. Peter watches Miles turn around, and his eyes widen. Miles was wearing a suit, a Spider-Man suit. The same Spider-Man he saw the other week.

"Any place you wanna go to, we'll go" he adds with a cheeky smile. "Really? You're not busy?" You cross your arms as you stare him down.

"Nah, night's been quiet. Besides, I might be busy tomorrow, then you'd miss your favorite person in the world" he winks as you begin to smile. Peter's heart sank as he realized what was happening. He thwipped a web to the building across from yours and sat down on the edge of the roof. Pulling out his phone, he sent you a text.

Can we talk tomorrow?

Giggling could be heard from across the street. Peter looked up and bit his lip as you glanced at your phone and threw it on your bed. You got onto Miles' back, and you both swung away.

----

After you tried calling Peter that day, you stopped reaching out to him altogether. You decided that you'd wait to talk to him until he finally realized you weren't there. It had been about five weeks, and in those five weeks, you had gone to therapy and counseling.

You met Miles in counseling. He was sweet but seemed to get off topic a lot. When you were getting ready to leave one session, he had come up to you, put his hand on your shoulder, and let out a simple "Hey." One thing led to another, and you had both bonded over your losses. You went to Miles' uncle's funeral, and he went to Jay's funeral with you.

You were currently sitting on a swing at the playground as you waited for Peter. It was taking him forever to show, and at this point, you wanted to get this whole conversation over with.

Frowning, you looked around, wondering why he was taking so long. He should've been here by now. Maybe he decided not to come after all.

When that thought crossed your mind, you scoffed and stood up. Before you could go anywhere, however, you felt someone gently grab your hand. Looking back, you saw Peter staring at you with a small smile on his face.

"You came."

"Of course I did"

Peter pulls you towards him and wraps his arms around you. You take a deep breath as you stare off towards the slide. He pulls away when he realizes you're not hugging him back. The both of you pull away awkwardly as you look at each other.

"Peter-" "(Y/N)-" both of you speak at the same time.

"I- I have o tell you something" he starts with a stutter. You wait patiently as you motion for him to continue. "I know th-that I've been....not here for you for a while-" he cuts himself off when he hears you scoff.

"I.....I had these things, and I should've told you as soon as we started dating, and I'm sorry. I know I've been an asshole, more than that actually" you roll your eyes and shake your head as he continues.

"I just.....I love you, and I want you to know that even though I don't show it a lot" he finishes as he rubs the back of his head nervously.

The good thing about coming to this park was that there was usually no one here, and you were glad no one was here right now because boy were you fuming. "Told me about what Parker?" Your hand goes to your hip as you glare at him.

"W-Well....uhm......that guy that you talk to.......I'm like him I guess. Spider-Man." Your eyes widen when you hear the first part. "How the hell do you know I've been talking to someone?"

Peter stumbles with his words as he realizes he's been caught red-handed, "Uh...I was gonna visit yesterday, and I kinda....saw you..talking to him....." You narrow your eyes as you pick up a stick and throw it at him. He ducked before he could get hit, but you were already in his face.

"You were spying on me?!"

"I-I wasn't trying to! I was just-"

"Christ Peter!" All this time of you not being here, and now all of a sudden you just wanna show up out of nowhere because of what?! Jay?! Is that why you're finally talking to me?!" Panic stirs in Peter's eyes as he tries to come up with an excuse.

"I tried so hard to get you to talk to me, and you only wanna talk now because of that shit?! Peter, I can't do this shit with you anymore. I don't care if you're Spider-Man; what was the point of not telling me in the first place?! We live in New York for God's sake!!"

Your face is red as you frustratingly wipe away your tears with your forearm. Peter stays silent as he watches you; he can't say anything right now because you've hit the nail on the head.

"Y-You know what, fuck this. I can't do this shit any-anymore, Peter. But please tel-tell me; w-what did I do wrong? I di-did my best to keep both of us h-h-happy. Please, just tell me what I did wr-wrong." Your words are barely recognizable as you hold yourself to keep you're shaking body still.

Peter steps forward, but instead of stopping him like he thought you would, he cups your face gently as he looks into your eyes.

"(Y/N).....I'm so sorry I made you think this was all your fault. You did make me happy; you still do. I just...I've been so busy being Spider-man that I've neglected you, and I'm sorry for that. But I do still love you, (Y/N). I swear I'll stop doing everything just for you. I-I'll give up being Spider-Man."

You watch him unravel as he keeps talking. You can't bring yourself to care, however, as he spills his heart out. Too much disappointment has built up over the months.

"Pete...."

"Please......(Y/N), just give me another chance. I'll do anything, just please, don't leave me." His voice is soft and insecure as he begs you, almost quivering as he says it. It doesn't invoke any sort of feeling in you though. His sad eyes watch as you pull away from him,

"I'm sorry Peter" you whisper softly as you turn around and walk away.

He doesn't run after you or even shout.

Peter simply watches you walk away until you're out of view. The only thing he can hear is your footsteps as they fade into the distance.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Alright so...this whole thing was based on how I could see him being Spider-Man in the beginning ig? Imo I feel like between him and Miles, the latter would be the first to tell you he's Spider-Man

And I always felt like him being away like that with no real reason would make an s/o feel like it's their fault or sumn. Like, I've always seen fics where he and the reader always make up about it, but I wanted to try the bad ending where even though he had good intentions, he's just not ready to handle being a hero, student, and partner.

[postwarlevi]

Eliza!

Hi, jelly here with important question.

How do you feel about the movie Anastasia?

Do you think that villain song is so damn good?

Jelly I am so sorry I kept this for a few days because I had a brain freeze trying to figure out if I could tell you how much I love this movie!

I played it ALL THE TIME as a youngster. The music, the story, the plot, I loved it!

You know for a while I thought it was a Disney movie because as far as I was concerned at that time every animated movie was a Disney movie and it came in the same case as they did.

But I realize it might've had something to do with the fact that Don Bluth directed and he did a lot of the non Disney movies I watched as a kid (Land Before Time!!) AND he used to work for Disney.

More rambling below the cut! (tumblr deleted some of my stuff and I had to do it over! hjkjlklrhjfbndfnrutu!)

In the opening seeing Anastasias relationship with her grandmother was very special. Then to see Rasputin who has a bit of a Maleficent vibe coming in, and then he sold his soul?! You knew nothing good was coming! I was so saddened when Anastasia didn't make it on the train with her grandmother :(

Time jump to little orphan Anya who still has her necklace. I loved Anyas attitude and singing voice and ad libbed all the lines I could once I learned them and as a kid tried to hold the last note in Journey to the Past.

And Once Upon a December, when she's in the Winter Palace and things seem a little familiar to her, and she dances with those long gone. UGH it's beautiful and heartbreaking. She'll never see them again!

I'm gonna have to slow down on the gifs for a sec LOL!

Enter Dimitri and Vlad, loveable and snobbish (one of them, at least) conman who find their girl! Because she looks exactly like an adult Anastasia of the little girl in the portrait that still hangs there!

And THEN, as they go off together, we meet Rasputin again who is still hellbent of destroying all the Romanovs so he sends demons to do his bidding! Rasputin himself is hella creepy but I can't say this is my favorite villain song ever. It's very good though!

So can I just say the banter between Anya and Dimitri is some of my favorite of ANY movie. The childish gestures and whole "fine, I'll be quiet if you'll be quiet."

And after she asks if he'll miss his home, he's still going on about their argument and instead says "miss what, you're talking" AH SO cute!

Then she punches the crap outta him (by accident? LOL) when they need to get off the train and very quickly they realize they need to shut up and work together to get off what is now a runaway train.

The song Learn to Do It is really fun and all of a sudden she might remember something that she wasn't told to do or say by Vlad or Dimitri!

(there's like 2 other gifs I also wanna use here but I don't have enough room LOL) And THEN, Jelly, this scene. It's all downhill from here and even Vlad knows it. UGH it's so pretty I WANT it! They get close and when Rasputin tried to kill Anya himself Dimitri literally swoops into action to rescue her! And she herself is overwhelmed by everything and remembers the Romanov curse.

And soon we're off to try to impress Sophie so she'll let us meet with empress Marie and it's going well until it isn't, but Anya suddenly remembers exactly how she got out of the palace as a child and Dimitri is there to hear it?! He knows! The jig is up!

The man can't really even have fun wandering around Paris while everyone else is thrilled!

Then it's the night of the meeting and Dimitri is stunned by Anya and they have a couple nice moments and share some looks!

But then Anya learns the truth of how this whole thing started and slaps him again! Granted, he had it coming.

But he does the unthinkable and kidnaps the empress and risks everything just so that she will meet Anya because she IS Anastasia! And somehow she agrees to it and after realizing that they ARE family, she has to tell Anya that Dimitri didn't take the money! *sobs*

He's ready to leave it all because Anastasia has been found and reunited with her grandmother and why would he want the money anymore?! WHY? Marie knows why :D

And when Anya is trying to figure out if she wants to be Anastasia or Anya, Dimitri is still close by making sure she is save from Rasputin and between the two of them (and Pooka) they finally get rid of him!

And then she smacks Dimitri again! LOL

And then she makes her decision, it's her and him, and that she and her grandmother will still have their relationship.

And did I mention I LOVE THIS MOVIE?!

I'm mad I can only include so many gifs. LOL ones not included are Dimitri pushing young Anya out of the palace, meeting again in the Winter Palace, saving each other on the train, another scene of them dancing, hugging after Anya wakes up from her dream, Dimitri realizing he was the boy who saved her, meeting on the staircase during the opera, her slugging him!...and that's all I think.

Okay so THAT was a novel and I am open to talk about this movie anytime!! <3

[alecxaheart]

Someone's Someone | Bang Chan Oneshot (1)

✎ Genre : CEO AU, Soulmate AU, Fluff

✎ Pairings : Bang Chan X Reader

✎ Word Count : 3.5k words

✎ Synopsis : We all just wanna be someone's someone that we can't live without. At this time, Chan was looking for his. And unexpectedly, he was already tied down to someone.

✎ Warnings : Explicit Language

✎. . . I actually just played my songs on shuffle then Monsta X's Someone's Someone played so.. yeah, I'm inspired. Also, this is my first post in tumblr btw. :)

✎ Parts : 1 , 2

The relaxing sounds of nature enveloped him as a whole. His shoulders less tense and eyes closed as he sat on the cooled sand, facing the burning star and calm waters ahead. Seagulls could be heard in the distance as they caught themselves a dinner to eat. The refreshing cool wind hit his body, slightly making him shiver for a second. Waves, created by the sea and wind, kisses the shore repeatedly. For once, he was far away from worries, stress, fears and regrets. Just him, contented with the company of nature.

As he fluttered his eyes open, he was met with a stunning view of the sun meeting the ocean. The ocean reflecting the sun's visuals as well as the sky above it. Even though the reflection was blurry, it's still pleasing to the eye. Just perfectly imperfect.

However in his opinion, it wasn't stunning as it seems. This secret escapade paradise of his doesn't quite appeal to him yet. A missing piece that could be anywhere on this wide world. That thought kind of bothers him every time.

Sighing, he figured that it was time to go back. He slipped onto his slippers and headed out of his escapade paradise with a head hung low. Hopping on an enormous boulder that happened to break the wired fence and fixated there, having easier access to and from the place than climbing over the fence.

With a last glance towards his escapade, he knew he'll be coming back and that next time will be the scenery he's been looking for, hopefully.

Frustrated with the task at hand, Chan ran his fingers through his blonde locks as he leaned back on his chair and head facing upwards toward the ceiling. Taking a brief break from a whole 6 hours straight of writing and staring at the monitor. Followed by him grabbing his coffee and taking a sip, eyes boring on the monitor. He was just half finished with his paperworks at the time of nightfall, which made him more in distress and felt crammed.

His eyes then wandered around his office, landing onto the view of the opposite building of his company in the end. Where he could see the workers of the Marketing Department bidding their goodbyes to one another, closing the lights and exiting the room. Oh, how much he too wanted to leave and rest right at this moment. Although his belief of 'getting things done before going into slumber' is preventing him to do so (even though he already got a lot of things done). With a sigh, he faced back in front of his monitor and papers, determined to get everything done before tomorrow starts.

" Sunbae-nim, aren't you coming with us? We're having dinner at the Chicken & Barbecue restaurant just a block away from here. " Seungmin asked, grabbing his suitcase below his desk. You leaned back on your chair while stretching your cramping arms and a yawn escaping your mouth.

" As much as I want to, Seungmin, I can't, " You started, rubbing your temples to ease your aching head. " Because our new boss literally gave me 5 thick documents to finish before tomorrow morning without any mercy. And that's just bullshit. I don't even think I'm halfway through it! " Seungmin replied with a chuckle to your short rant, an amused expression written on his soft face. You were having another small mental breakdown as you stared at your unfinished pile of work, feeling your soul escape your body.

" I think you're overreacting. "

" Well, what if I am?! "

Laughing, Seungmin leans his side on your cubicle, looking over at your messy desk filled with sticky notes, papers and pens. " I don't think it's that much. You're lucky that your boss isn't here to hear any of your complaints, " He muttered as he took a peek at one of your documents. You scoffed, not my fault that I'm not as good as you.

" Hear what? "

Frantically, you immediately hide yourself behind your cubicle and pretend that you were focusing on your work. On the other hand, Seungmin casually brushed his navy blue coat with his palms and lifted himself off from the cubicle. Making it all seem like nothing happened.

" Oh, it's nothing, Ms. Ka- " Seungmin paused as he met the owner of the voice who wasn't the person they were expecting to be there. " M-Mr. Bang?! " He stuttered, eyes widened at the blonde headed CEO. Seeing in the corner of your eyes, Seungmin bowed ninety degrees at him as a sign of respect. Even with his heated glare on you, you continued your work like no CEO even entered. Thanks to your cute height, for sure you wouldn't be spotted.

" What are you doing here? Working hours are done. "

Seungmin stood straight and scratched the back of his head. Curiosity slowly arose in you as seconds passed - since you've never met a CEO called by your colleague as ' Mr. Bang ' - although as much as possible, you didn't let go out of hand and kept your focus on the documents silently. The least thing you wanted to happen to you right now is get caught by one of the company's CEO. " I was about to head out, Mr. Bang, " Finding an excuse, he pulled up his sleeve to check the time on his wristwatch. " Uhm.. Yeah, I'm late for dinner. Sorry, Mr. Bang, I have to leave right now. Have an great night! "

With a last bow to the CEO, Seungmin dashed his way out of the building, leaving you alone with your work. The blonde head noticed how the room was still lit up despite it being unoccupied, which he thought. Heading to the switches, everything around you darkened. The only source of light you had was the monitor, and Chan caught it in the corner of his eye.

" Is someone still there? " His voice, catching a bit of foreign accent with it, echoed in the hushed area.

Baffled as he approached that light with a few slow strides, you freaked out mentally. Swiftly but silently, you left your chair and hid yourself underneath the desk next to yours. As he neared your cubicle, you held your breath, slowly starting to feel lightheaded. You don't know what are the consequences if you get caught after working hours since you're still kind of new - got hired just 5 months ago. Dumb you overthink random shit first before even going to the thing called 'common sense' and the rules you heard just goes in one ear then out on the other.

The moment Chan was about to reach your cubicle and take a glance to his right, the sound of marimba playing a soft tune echoed in the room. Stopping in his tracks, he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket and grabbed it, swiping to the right to answer the call. You let out a hushed yet shaky sigh of relief, your shoulders less tense than a while ago. In your mind played a chant, thanking whoever was your savior.

Chan narrowed his eyes at the back of your cubicle while his phone is still pressed against his ear, listening to the person on the other line's complaints. " I'm on my way. Don't do anything stupid, " Not too soon you hear heels clacking against the polished marble tiles, the noise fainting as he left the room.

It took you a good couple of seconds to get out of your hiding spot (since you had to catch your breath and calm your heart down from the thrill), slightly shaking your whole body first before heading back to your seat and continuing your pile of work. Mentally groaning at yourself.

Oh. My. Gosh. These. Eyebags.

Is the first thing you thought as you looked at yourself in the mirror. The cause of it appearing badly because you obviously lacked sleep. All due to the time allotted for slumber was consumed by finishing your 5 thick documents that will be passed this morning. You could've cared less if today wasn't a work day, which fortunately for you it was still work day and these damn documents aren't gonna pass themselves to your boss this instant.

Fumbling around in your bag, you found your makeup kit and started fixing yourself. A little bit of touch ups here and there, just a little to look like it's still more natural than a lot to look like a plastic doll barbie.

Once satisfied, you smiled sweetly at yourself just to start your day nicely and exit your household. While walking on your way to the train station, incoherent mumbling leaves your mouth. A train of thoughts clouding you about your worries if you've left something important behind. In all honesty despite of your current good looks, you look stupid or crazy for talking to yourself in public. Well, at least you aren't as worse as someone yelling nonsense.

" I have all my files, identification card, phone, wallet, pocket knife 'cause anything could happen, keys- " you paused as soon as you misplaced your shoes at the edge of the last stair, falling forward. Luckily for you, you caught yourself and regained your balance. Wide eyed, you saw a kid, a giddy smile plastered on his face as he saw your commotion with a lollipop in hand. You felt embarrassed but laughed it off anyway, a light tint of pink decorating your cheeks.

You rushed towards the gates as soon as you realized the time with the card in between your fingers. Three beeps emitted from the machine when the gates opened after you placed the card on the scanner. With a few more strides, you caught up to your train ride as it was about to leave. You sighed in relief and sat down on a vacant bench, head automatically leaning back on the window. Your eyes boring at the ceiling while taking steady breaths after your short marathon on the way.

On the other hand, across you sat Chan. His right leg crossed over the other while scrolling through his phone. He wore a button up shirt, the first two still unbuttoned revealing more of his chest. His navy blue tie hung loose around his neck while his coat is still folded around his arm. His slacks were the same color as his tie and coat and wore black pointed shoes to finish the statement of his overall clothing. Blonde hair locks were scattered around his face but still managed to look stunning and attractive.

You haven't noticed his presence, so did he to you, and the fact that you both don't know each others' appearance even though you go to the same company just adds to the reason for you two's ignorance to one another's existence.

You got yourself to go back to slumber comfortably in your current position although you know when you wake up, you'll be greeted by your neck aching. Hopefully you don't miss your stop while gaining more sleep. The train swaying you lightly from time to time that you found quite relaxing, like a cradle rocking back and forth lightly to put a baby to sleep.

A child was running around the train with a joyful smile, giggling. He only stopped in his tracks when he reached in between you and Chan. His eyes glowed like there were stars decorated around his chocolate brown pupil when he eyed you two. Looking around, he spotted a roll of red thread underneath your bench and grabbed it. He thought it was just right.

With you being the closest, he starts to tie the thread around your pinky finger. You were too tired to even feel his small cold fingers run around your fingers nor the string tighten around it. Once done, he smiled to himself, his dimples appearing on either side of his cheeks and eyes forming into small crescents.

He left your side and skipped over in front of Chan, who was now too deep in thought as he gazed outside the window and his phone tucked in his pocket. Holding the other end of the thread, he wrapped it around Chan's thumb. Chan's body shook in surprise as he felt cold fingers ghosting above his hand and averted his attention to the child. He saw him knotting the red string tightly, strange that he barely even feels the string tightened around his thumb. " What are you doing? " he questioned although the child only responded with a bright smile, followed by a giggle.

The child turned and ran away from him, more giggles leaving his lips. Chan stood up and tried to chase him. But stopped as soon as he saw the child in the distance, dissolving into little particles in thin air and completely vanished in his sight. In disbelief, he rubbed his eyes and looked for the child around his area. Thinking that he was out of his mind, he sighed in defeat. There's no way anyone could do that in reality. It's either I'm insane or living in a fantasy or a chosen one blessed to see ghosts. Maybe, all of the above.

Chan looked down on his thumb, following where the other end lead to. Then, he spotted your sleeping beauty state, the other end attached to your pinky finger. With the sun rising in the horizon, a ray of gold-like light shines through the window, casting a shadow on you. And he thought you looked mesmerizing like that, peaceful and lovely. At least he wasn't tied up with a bitch or a hag.

Your eyes slowly fluttered open as the sun shined upon you. Squinting at its brightness, you raised a hand above your eyes to see more, only finding a red string wrapped around your pinky finger. You examined it, wondering what prank is anyone even planning and why did it have to involve you out of all people. Before anything stupid could happen, you attempted to loose the knot, ignoring the curiosity for a while of where the other end was. Looping and tugging it, even tried to chomp on it with your teeth, but all attempts failed. Well, that's until you gave up, untying it was impossible, unbelievably there's a knot that couldn't be untied. Sounded like marriage when you think about it, but there's the annulment and divorce ruining the picture.

Tearing your gaze at the string, you caught a pair of bewitching dark brown eyes staring back at you. In that particular moment, everything just froze in place. Time has stopped just for the two of you, you thought.

You felt your heart melting, probably from the warmth emitting in your body or from the warmth his eyes give off as you saw little sparks decorating the pupil. Unfamiliar light feathers tickling the insides of your stomach is what you felt other than the heat and that thawing heart of yours. Your mind knew it well that you shouldn't feel this way towards someone who you just met but your body and heart reacted so differently. There's just something about him that made you feel so exposed and vulnerable in his eyes that you couldn't come up with a possible answer to your 'why's.

Both of you didn't notice how seconds turned into minutes, too lost into one another's orbs. That was until the train stopped, causing Chan to break the eye contact and lose his balance. Before his hands made contact on the metal floor, he took a step forward in order to regain his balance which he successfully did. A small chuckle left your lips, eyes turning into crescents as you saw the commotion. He narrowed his eyes at you as the train was back in motion.

Chan fixed his clothes first before asking, " Who are you? ". Grabbing the pole next to him to prevent him from falling again on the next stop.

" Shouldn't I be asking you that as well? " You replied with a gummy smile, which quickly faded when you remembered what's the problem.

" What is this on my finger and why is it connected to yours? What kind of trickery is anyone pulling? Why am I involved in this? " You kept firing questions at him while he stayed there unbothered. Unlike you who did some more attempts to remove the thread, silly you even tried aggressively shaking your hand in hopes of making it a little loose. But no prevail happened once again.

" Just get rid of it. I didn't want this too, you know. " Chan taps his foot impatiently as he eyed your useless attempts.

" I am trying! " You exaggerated. Deciding to bring out the best tool you have for the situation in hand, your hands fumbling in your bag. Once you felt the cool metal on your fingertips, you brought it out and flipped it open.

Chan's eyes widened at the sight of the pocket knife in your palms. " You carry that on a daily basis? Are you insane? "

You rolled your eyes in annoyance. " It's not insane when it's used for self-defense purposes. I'm too nice to be the murderer you're assuming, " You replied, head throbbing as things aren't going well with the charming blonde.

He responded just before the blade and thread were in contact, starting with a scoff. " Yeah sure, nice. Anyone can wear that façade anywhere. "

" You know what, " You started as you withdrew the pocket knife back and glared at him afterwards, pissed off. " You deal with this shit yourself, I'm done with my part and I could care less about this red thread anyway. You look like you don't need any of my help 'cause you look fancier than me and it seems like you're not taking any gratitude towards my kindness. Damn these crazy rich people. " You threw the tool towards his direction and looked away from him, arms crossed. Chan instinctively caught it without getting any cuts despite the fact it's closed, his eyes burning through your figure in fury.

" If I actually got wounded instead from your little stunt, I would've sued you this instant, " He growled, only to be ignored by you.

Irritated by your sudden change of attitude, Chan flipped it open and skillfully ran the blade through the string. Only for it to just fall through like the string never existed, ghost-like perhaps. " It's not cutting, what the hell, " Chan muttered under his breath as he tried a few more times again.

"It's just a string, how could a- " You spoke as you turned your head back to his direction, only to be cutted off as you witnessed the unusual. Mouth a little bit agape in disbelief. The thread didn't fall apart even while the blade was just sitting in between of it on air. Maybe that explains why you could barely even feel the thread wrapped securely around your finger. You could tell that this stunning blonde head was just as puzzled as you were.

" Sir, if you're having any problems that includes this woman, we can sort it out. Just withdraw the knife first please, " a man suddenly blurted out, his voice a little bit shaky. That's when you realized the commotion you both have caused, everyone around you two took steps back away. All had fear in their eyes.

" Wait, you don't see the thread we're trying to cut? " Chan questioned, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. At that, he was more misunderstood.

" There's no thread..? " With that, it got the two of us surprised. Is the crazy one here them, who couldn't see this string, or us, who could?

Chan tried to explain our situation thoroughly but when he was about to speak up, out of the blue, a voice spoke in the speakers. " Please mind the gap, " You immediately grabbed his arm, carried his belongings and dragged him out of the train. Leaving its passengers confused as they eyed us. They might be thinking that you two are idiots.

The doors just shut a second later when you two got out. You felt a bit suffocated for an unknown reason, your hand reaching for your chest where you could feel your heart beating. Panting, you shoved Chan's belongings into his chest. " Are you alright? " He asked as he tried to place a hand on your back, the least thing he could do to comfort you.

But his hand only stopped in mid-air when you took your last deep breath, replying. " Let's just part ways here, " Saying those words felt a bit disheartening at some point, yet you chose to disregard it.

You walked forwards, while Chan stayed in his position, wearing his coat and fixing his tie. Although, something stopped you. As in you couldn't go forwards as much as you force to. Well when you did force yourself, it only tugged Chan towards you. Turning around, he was already eyeing you. " What was that for?! "

Glaring at the thread, you thought out loud, " Is this string telling me, it can only stretch itself approximately at 7 meters?! "

Continue

[slvtbible]

G O L D

chapter one

summary: [y/n is a young stripper who is adored by many men. harry styles is a man who loves to carry danger with him]

word count: 4222

pairing: stripper!y/n and gangleader!harry

warnings: violence, vulgar language, sexual acts, alcohol and drug

to be honest, i was a little hesitant to post it here and i don’t know if this story will blow up on tumblr or get many notes but that’s the last thing on my mind right now. i just want to share what i’ve been working on that kept you guys waiting for almost a year lol sorry about that. But yes, she’s finally here!! I posted first on wattpad before i put it here, I felt like the only way to reach out more people to read it it’s through that. And also, i decided to use a name on wattpad but I’d use the term ‘y/n’ on tumblr. Enjoy it all my loves! Give me feedbacks!💜

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Harry fixes the collar of his sheer black shirt before tucking it neatly inside the black trousers he's currently wearing. He normally goes something more extravagant for going out. His closet is filled with colourful ruffles and Hawaiian shirts along with 'more than one colour' suits. However tonight, he needs to lay low for a bit. Especially when he's about to step into one of the most famous strip clubs in New York in an hour to meet up with the manager.

He's very much aware of the reputation he has put on himself out there. Though there's no use of camouflage and hiding, he still doesn't want a cause a scene,

Yet.

His hand lifts a bottle of Tom Ford from the dresser before spraying it twice on his neck. Stepping away from the full length mirror, he grabs his cross necklace from the bed before putting the accessory around his neck as he walks out of the room.

"Talk to me Reece" his heavy accent echoes the hallway as he walks downstairs, watching his few men pocketing their weapons,

Reece, the brown skinned man with tattoos nods. "He's there. Just got a word from Bianco. He appears isn't expecting you, Boss. However I do believe he knows you're coming soon. The club is far too crowded than usual but Bianco is taking care of that right now." He informs, showing him the message on the phone,

Harry can only scoff, nodding at him as a thank you. "That son of a bitch should've. Owes me more than fucking money." He mutters, inserting the .45 ACP inside his gun holster. "The car's ready?"

Nodding, Reece leads Harry down towards the basement. "As requested. Lamborghini Murcielago in blue hera. Pack with 640 PS and 471 kW, rules around 213 mph if you consider on hit and run. Still, I pack a standard Aeropack wing if you wanna go slow tonight. The windows? Bulletproof. In case anyone tries to kill you." Harry knows he's only joking about the last part. No one dares try to kill him before he does it. It's a pattern that everyone knows by now.

Harry lets out a low whistle, softly shaking his head as the machine beauty appears. Tracing lightly with his ring cladded fingers along the hood of the car. "Not planning to hit and run tonight, Reece. Not even thinking about racing down the street with my weapon outside the window. You don't have anything more. . . Less attractive?" He questions, still staring at the gorgeous car ahead of him,

"You know I don't do less, boss." Reece winks playfully, laughing to himself as he watches Harry roll his eyes. "Besides. Who knows you'll get yourself a bird tonight, eh? Take her out on a stroll before bringing her home to your place. Women love fast cars." He comments, pressing the button on the keys as the door opens,

Humming as a response, Harry walks towards the driver's seat, "I don't date anymore, thought my right hand man knew tha' " He speaks, words laced with seriousness while grabbing the keys from Reece's fingers,

He can only sigh and nod his head. "Understood. Yet, Kendra is like what? Two years ago? Gotta get yourself something better, boss. You deserve it. So do it tonight." He suggests, watching him going inside the car before shutting the door,

Harry smiles a bit, inserting the keys inside the ignition before starting the car. "Noted."

The dark haired man steps away from the car. Giving Harry a salute. "I'll be right behind you. See you there."

*

*

*

Y/N Y/L/N stands in front of the mirror as she applies another layer of red lipstick on her plump lips. Securing the tube back as she puckers her mouth to see if it fits the colour for tonight. She twirls, watching carefully how the gold lingerie clads perfectly around her breasts and down to her curvy hips and thick thighs.

She stops once her plump ass is facing the mirror, admiring how beautiful and big her bum is in the lingerie. It's a compliment really. She loves working out to give her bum a bit bigger. It's not that she hopes she'll gain attention from people, she just loves her body. She worships every piece of it despite what other people think of it. Insecurity was her biggest enemy but not anymore. After reading lots of books and poems about self love she learns that there's nothing she should be ashamed of.

Grabbing a bottle of lotion from her table, she squeezes the bottle into her hand before rubbing her bum with the cold cream, rubbing it neatly to make sure she doesn't miss a spot.

Another thing, she loves moisturizing her plump flesh before the show. It's sexy

"Joe is asking for you." She hears a voice coming from behind, craning her neck to see her closest co-worker Violet, already in her usual purple wig and attire as she stands beside Angelina. "I love working as a stripper but he really needs to learn to be patient and. . . shut up, i guess?"

Y/N releases a small laugh, moving her long dark wavy hair to rest on her chest. "I know, I know. Jesus, I've told him fifteen minutes prior that I'll take longer than usual." She slips on her gold heels and turns to face Violet, who's biting her lip as she stares at Angelina's body up and down. "Okay, how do i look?"

Violet raises her eyebrow, as if it's something her friend shouldn't be asking. "You kidding? You look like a sex goddess. Gonna get all the men on their knees for you, girl"

Scoffing, she shoots her a wink and a flirtatious smile. "Old men with beer bellies? No thanks. I'd rather make out with Gordon." She replies, seemingly disgusted about the thought of grinding on an old man's lap tonight.

"Is that a bet I hear?" Violet questions, leaning towards her a bit as she waits for her friend’s response. "Please tell me that it is so I can earn extra cash tonight."

Gordon is a perverted bartender that always keeps his eye on Y/N throughout her routine. He's 40 and is always asking Angelina on a 'date' and by date, he means her ass on his lap. Clearly something Y/N isn't too fond of. Him specifically. Violet and Y/N have always made a joke about him, something they could make a playful banter in every chance they get.

Plus, she heard he's married. Isn't he supposed to find another job rather than here? If his wife found out what kind of a sleaze bag she married, she would be crushed,

Rolling her eyes, Y/N shoves her playfully by the arm. "Ha ha, very funny" she answers, resuming to untangle her hair from knots.

Violet laughs, pinching her on the hip as she lets outa small squeal. "Just messing with you, baby. Good luck out there. Put the rest of us to shame tonight. . . Like any other night"

Y/N flips her off, yet knowing it's the truth. She's not trying to sound like a condescending bitch here but none of the girls here are actually capable to do what Y/N does. That's what makes men attracted to her. She knows what she's doing. She knows how to make a man hard.

"By the way, you heard what Joe's talking about earlier?" Violet asks, toeing off her heels as she exhales a relief sigh. "Damn those heels are killing me" She mumbles,

"No... What's about?" She turns her head to face Violet for her to explain, causing her to shrug her shoulders,

"Don't know much about it. . . But i hear Harry Styles is coming here to meet up with him. Something about transaction or shit" She waves it off, whispering it to Y/N, looking around to make sure no one is eavesdropping,

She almost chokes on her saliva after hearing Violet says the name. "Harry Styles?! The. . . mafia boss of New York..?" Her eyes widen at the possibility of the most dangerous man in the city paying a visit to the place she works at,

Nodding, Violet answers, "Yup. That Harry Styles. He's the devil. Let's hope this place doesn't turn into a war zone."

Y/N has heard about this Harry guy. The most feared man of New York. She does know a little bit of the relations between Joe and Mr. Styles. Almost every night she could hear Joe freaking out about this man. She may not know him that close, hell she had never even met him in person but people talk. One thing she learned about hearing his reputation, you don't ever want to mess with this guy.

Violet snaps her fingers to snap Y/N out of her thoughts. "Less worrying, girl. Come on, you got a show to put on yes?"

"Y-yeah. Fuck. . . now i'm scared" She breathes out, looking at her reflection in the mirror one last time. Calming down her mind.

After giving Violet a kiss on a cheek and receiving a tap on her ass, she takes a deep breath as she opens the beaded curtain and walk out to the club. Jhene Aiko is playing through the speakers, thanks to her who chose the music for tonight. She can already feel all eyes on her as she struts down confidently, putting on a smirk and winking at couple of men here and there. As much as it disgusts her, she grazes her hand along a man's arm who's biting his lip and looking at her up and down.

'What the fuck did i do to deserve this?' she thinks to herself, staring at the man in front of her who's probably the same age as her father. The thought of it makes her gag,

She gives the man a wink before getting up on the stage, hearing a few hollers from behind. reaching out to wrap her hand around the silver pole and her leg hooking up to support her body. Slowly twirling with her head thrown back and closes her eyes with money being toss at her direction before letting go and crutching down on her knees, moving close towards the same man earlier. He slips in a couple of hundred dollar bills inside her panties, causing the others to do the same.

This may be not how she pictures her success but damn, by the end of the week, her bank account can go from three to six digits.

She's definitely gonna hold on to that,

*

*

*

It takes Harry close to thirty minutes to get here. He blames it all on the traffic, cursing to himself every time he stops at red lights. He parks his car close to the entry before he exits from the vehicle. He looks over his shoulder to find a familiar black car driving towards her, noting to himself it's Reece's. Seeing him wave his hand to make sure he's coming in later.

He clears his throat, clenching his jaw as he walks into the club. Reece wasn't lying, the club is too packed for tonight. As if God knew what is about to get down tonight and isn't going to let him get away with witnesses. He really needs to play safe for a while tonight.

As he strides through the room to find a table he has reserved for, a few half naked girls walk right pass him, stroking his exposed chest and grabbing his shoulders. Most of them are gorgeous and he's tempted to touch their soft skin yet he has to hold it. Not that he isn't interested because he's definitely taking someone back to his place tonight--fucking Reece had to be right-- but he needs to get his head in the game for at least an hour before planning to do so.

Gently, he pulls back a chair for him to sit. He specifically asks for the furthest table so no one can figure out what he's about to do tonight. A glass of whiskey has been set on his table before he got here, waiting for Joe's arrival. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Reece and Bianco walking over to his table. One of them gives him a nod to acknowledge his presence.

Harry lifts the glass up to his lips and take a sip of it. Honestly, he hates doing all of this dirty work. Sure, he's the boss. But he despises complicated things. He should've known not to trust Joe about anything, yet when he begged on his knees with a gun knocked against his head as he spat out a bunch of threats to the weakened man, he thought why not? If Joe didn't get to fulfill his demands, he gets to kill him either way. It's always a pleasure for him to do so.

"Mr. Styles! Ay, i'm so happy to see you. You look a lot cleaner than i saw you the last time, eh?" Joe's voice causes Harry's green eyes averts from the scene on the crowd. His eyebrows are knitted, jaw tightened as he taps his fingers against the table, causing the rings he's wearing to knock.

He owes him money worth $50,000. And this man had the nerve to walk in and act like nothing happened.

He is definitely going to kill him.

"Stop with all that shit and sit the fuck down. You owe me something Joe." Harry warns, pointing at him as Harry's men forces the dark haired male to sit down making him gulp. "You owe me 50 grand for that package you piece of shit."

Joe couldn't feel more terrified as he catches a glimpse of Harry's gun on the table, facing towards him. "I know Harry, I know. I didn't forget, okay? It's just the money is tight right now. The girls aren't getting the amount of money they used to be getting." Joe tries to reason but Harry isn't having any of it,

"Stop being a fucking pussy and blame your girls for the money you've lost. I'm running out of patience here, Joe. If you don't give me the money by the end of the week, you're a dead man. I still have one body bag left in my car and I wouldn't mind writing your name on it." Harry grits his teeth, looking at him with a dark look in his eyes. Hand gripping tightly around the glass

"No man, I need more than that. Please, I'll do whatever you ask me to. You will have your money man I promised." Joe begs, looking at Harry with hopeful eyes.

Harry finds it quite disgusting to see someone like him beg for mercy-- for the second time--or anything at all to be honest. He find that gesture is weak and vulnerable which makes him very easy to manipulate over. "I don't give out second chances."

Joe hears a gun clicks behind, he doesn't need to know what's going on. He knows one of the two men behind him is ready to blow his brains out. "Harry man. . . One more. . . Give me one more"

Harry isn't a patient man. He doesn't want people beg. He doesn't want him to beg. But he finds it interesting to see how it goes, playing along this little game of his.

"Fine. you give me your best girl and i'll give you two months." Harry offers, cocking his eyebrow as he leans back to relax himself. "No more than that."

Joe's eyes widen at Harry's demand. It's impossible to collect a 50 grand in two months, especially when he's short on it. He needs more than that. Still, he thinks two months is better than nothing. "Okay. . . Agreed. Just tell me which girl you want or-or i could bring one or two here, man. Take your pick."

Harry can only hum in response, scanning his eyes over the scene. Dozens of girls dancing on stage, few of them even has their bras taken off. It seems to him, none of these girls on the room is his type.

Until his green eyes fall on a certain slightly curvy woman with her leg wrapped around the pole.

Her long dark hair brushing lightly against the floor as she bend her back a bit. He observes the way her body move so dirty yet gracefully around the pole,  the way she bites onto her pink glossed lips and how her brown eyes manage to flirt with the crowd and had them lure into her eyes including himself. He swears this girl just steps out of his daydreams. She looks perfect.

He admires how she circle her hips painfully slow, jealous how he isn't close enough to watch her plump flesh near his strong figure.

"Her. I want her" Harry points at the girl he can't take his eyes off. His voice sounds too possessive but he doesn't care if he does. He's too enhanced with the way she moves on that stage and he loves how she swats those dirty hands who seems desperate to cope a feel with a dirty look on her face.

'Seems like a fighter' he thinks to himself

"Y/N? You want her?" Joe asks after he realises who Harry's pointing at.

"Y/N? That's a gorgeous name. She's not taken is she? Not that i care anyway. She's a dime from what i can see here." He says, not tearing his eyes off of her while he sips on his drink. "You're gonna give me her to me aren't you?" Harry asks, his eyes are threatening enough for Joe so he nods his head as a response.

"Yes. Of course. If that's what you want."

"Fuck yes i do. Bring me to one of your rooms. I want a private from her" He demands before gulping down his drink, standing up to head over to the back. Not before glancing at the gorgeous woman one last time who stuffs a few dollar bills in her panties.

*

*

After what it feels like forever dancing on stage and have men whistling at her to go over and give them more, she finally sit herself down on a chair in her dressing room and take a deep breath. Moaning in relief as she pulls her heels off while setting her timer on because she only has thirty minutes to rest before going back out there again. She leans back against the chair, sighing in a pure bliss.

She can hear a few girls talking and laughing while preparing themselves for their performance tonight, wishing she could just join in because Violet informs her earlier there's some juicy gossip she needs to talk about but she cant take it. She's too tired.

She has only closes her eyes for 10 minutes until a familiar voice speaks out,

"Where's Y/N?"

She groans internally. Can never mistake that voice soon as she hears it. Her manager, who sounds like he's panting, voice firm as if is an emergency to call her out like that. Y/N still has her eyes shut as she raises her hand up, not having the energy to respond.

"Okay, good. Y/N. You don't need to go back out there again. There's a special guest I need you to entertain. He's already waiting in the red room."

She nods and hum, only to realize what he means as her eyes bugs out.

Wait, what?

She's quick to turn around, brows furrows and mouth hangs open, not believing what she has just heard. "Pardon?"

"There's a man. A guy who I work with, waiting in one of the rooms. He specifically asked for you. I need you to at least give him an hour." Joe notifies, running his hand over his face as if he's stressed about something,

"You want me to give a lap dance to your co-worker?" She raises her eyebrow, not believing what he just asked her

Joe sighs angrily, "it's technically not--Y/N... please. No more questions, just go over there."

"Who's the guy?" she ignores his orders as she stands, crossing her arms across her chest. "Jesus, fuck. I really need my hair to breath" she mutters, brushing down her long dark brown hair,

"Harry Styles."

Y/N freezes in an instant. Looking up to stare at Joe in the eye to see if he's joking, he can only nod his head to confirm her questioning look. " you're shitting me."

"I'm not," Joe replies, walking over to her, not wanting the other girls to hear. "Y/N, I owe him money. I haven't got them yet and--"

She scoffs, rolling her eyes and continue messing with her hair a bit more. "Not my problem."

He reaches out to grab her elbow, pulling her harshly causing her to stumble a bit. "Y/N, please... He wanted to kill me out there earlier. The guy brought a gun for God's sake. He gave me a month but until then... he wants you."

"You know i'm not a hooker" Y/N defeatedly sighs. She wants to help him, she does but it sounds like he's selling her off for a month to this notorious and dangerous guy who is named to be the deadliest man alive by the people of New York.

She loves money but no fucking way she's willing to die for it.

"I didn't say you were" He roughly says, hand gripping tightly on her arm. "Just... do it" He let her go, tired of the waiting because he doesn't want to make Harry pissed off now,

The girl sighs angrily, squeezing her eyes shut as she hesitates for a while. What the fuck did she get herself into?

"Fine. just give me a moment."

Giving her a smile, Joe thanks her by giving her a kiss on the cheek, telling her the door number Harry is in before walking out of the room. Soon after he walks out, she feels sick in her stomach. How could she ever go face to face with a man with blood in his hands? She's about to give this man a lap dance. Who knew he might've ask for more?

So now, as she finishes re-applying a layer of red lipstick, she heads out. Walking to the back of the room in a slow pace. Heart beating loud and fast as she's about to come face to face with this man. Still, she needs to play it cool. God really fucking hates her,

If he really does exists.

She takes a deep breath before opening the brown door carefully, pushing it open. Her knees almost buckle at the sight of Harry Styles, lounging on the leather couch. A cigarette squeeze between his fingers. legs spread open as if it's an invitation already made for her. His head turns towards the door, a smirk graces upon his face.

She's not going to lie. He is indeed dashingly handsome. With his arms resting on the back of the couch making his biceps look a bit bigger. He's got killer looks too. she studies. Sexy smile, and stubble which creates a sexier look on his face. She catches a glimpse of a silver cross necklace resting against his broad chest. His eyes are sharp. Looking at her up and down with his bottom lip bitten between his teeth.

"My, my" he lowly whistles, watching her every move as she enters the room. Locking the door behind her. "I wasn't wrong. You are a fucking dime."

Y/N giggles-- though feeling scared shitless-- and run her hands over her hair as she struts her way towards his figure. Purposely swaying her ass side to side a bit to tease him. "Mr.Harry Styles. . . I heard a lot about you. Word on the street is that you're a man that likes to carry a danger" she smirks seductively as she stands in between his open legs, dragging her finger slowly down her chest.

Her angelic voice is like music to his ears,

"Yeah?" he smirks, eyes falling to the curve of her breasts. "Hope that doesn't scare you, doll. All i want is a dance from you, that's all. I also heard that you are their favourite girl. After seeing you danced on that stage, I now know why."

Again, she giggles. A small blush creeping on her cheeks, hopefully he doesn't see it. "You're a flirt aren't you, Harry? You do this to every girl?"

He places his hands slowly on her plump ass, he doesn't know if he's allowed to touch but he doesn't give a shit. She seems isn't bothered by it. He wants this girl and he wants her now.

"Only to those who i find interesting, baby. Now, are you going to show me what you got?" He asks, looking up to meet her brown eyes as he squeezes her flesh.

With a devilish smirk, she slowly sets herself down on his lap which causes him to let out a soft groan. She runs her hands down to his tattooed chest and toys with his cross necklace for a bit before whispering in his ear, "sit tight and relax, Mr. Styles. I'll be your good girl for tonight"

next chapter

*

i really don’t want to write a super long chapter, because i’m afraid it’ll bore you guys so maybe--i hope-- this is enough. anyway, i hope you guys enjoy this first chapter, let me know if you guys hate it or love it! I’ll appreciate it. love you guys!