#damnit rudy

[theyloydespitethenora]

Damnit, Rudy

Valentine's Day - 4th grade

Louise still couldn't quite believe that she was wrong about Rudy's crush. Who else could he have been talking about with Zeke? Who else would he even want to give love weeds to? It was supposed to be her, wasn't it? Of course it was going to be Louise. They're best friends! Rudy was going to give her love weeds on stupid Valentine's Day—she was so sure of it, all morning.

But the thought of receiving them scared her, and she tried to prevent it as best she could. So when Rudy finally told her the love weeds were for Chloe, not Louise, shouldn't that have been a...relief? But it wasn't. Instead, Louise saw her own feelings etched onto the face of her best friend in the playground after school, when she finally got through to him that Chloe didn't like him—that she'd been using him.

Louise groaned, the memory of the recent playground incident playing back in her mind and making her blood boil.

She wasn't intending to slap Rudy, it just happened! But it didn't do anything to make her stupid feelings go away, just like slapping Boo Boo didn't make her stop having a stupid crush on a stupid boy band singer, even if he was the reason faces were invented. He deserved it, at least. All Rudy did was look all sad for not getting his stupid first kiss on stupid Valentine’s Day, making Louise suddenly care about wiping that stupid frown off his stupid face.

She wasn't exactly intending to kiss Rudy, either. It just…happened. And she didn’t hate it? But it all happened so fast! The kiss and the slap and everything that led up to it that day... Even in that moment, that split-second of stupidity that was nothing more than a kiss to shut him up—that's it!—even as it was happening, Louise didn't anticipate that she’d be slapping him any more than she anticipated having stupid feelings happening in her stomach! But it happened—the stupid feelings. During the kiss. And the slap. To get rid of said stupid feelings. Whatever the hell they were!

The closest sensation Louise could compare it to was the feeling of being on a really fast roller coaster, right after the first big drop—the higher, the better—when your stomach does somersaults and fills up with air. Your whole body seems to fill up with air, making you all lightheaded, and you only want to laugh or scream. Or both.

But chasing down some brat with smelly shampoo and breaking her best friend’s heart and immediately trying to mend it again (not even understanding why kissing him of all things was part of her approach but stumbling into it all the same)? None of that was anything like a good, rickety old ride at the Wonder Wharf—something that lacks the regular maintenance to make it just actually dangerous enough for the sense of thrill to be real.

Why did kissing Rudy make her feel like that? And why did she kiss him in the first place? Why did she feel so…disappointed that he like-liked Chloe enough to want her to be his first kiss? Why not Louise? Why, Rudy? Why Rudy?

Read more on AO3

In honor of the lovely fanart by @devilh0rnsinc that you can find here, I have taken it upon myself to revisit this fic. Chapter one (excerpted above) has been most heavily revised. I'll be sharing snippets of each chapter as I prepare to publish chapter five: Freshman Summer! <3 thanks for reading

[bitterishvices]

drops another scruffy ghost eyes skitch and does not elaborate

[cameronsprincess]

Sharing is Caring — J.B x JJ x Reader

— summary: your boyfriends best friend is going through some shitty times, and John B. knows the best way to cheer him up.

— CW: smut! 18+ only! threesome, oral (fem and male receiving), some hair pulling, lots of praise.

— note: hehehehe hiii. soo i love writing rafe x jj x reader, but.. here’s jb x jj x reader bc why not😈 also, yes. yes i did use a pic of chase, rudy and madelyn… sue me. that’s not me saying reader is white, i just couldn’t find any other pics of two guys n a girl.

You always knew John B. and JJ shared everything. From food, to beds, to clothes. There was nothing those two didn’t share, except for you.

John B. had never been willing to let anyone else touch his girl… Until now.

You remember the conversation clearly, your boyfriend approaching you and saying, “Babe, JJ really needs us both.. He’s been going through it, a lot worse than usual..”

You remember not fully understanding what exactly John B. meant, but he’d made sure to be 100% clear with his intentions, wanting to make sure you were comfortable with his plan before he brought it up to JJ.

And that’s what landed you here, JJ in your arms, tears running down his face as he kissed at the skin of your neck, whispering sweet words to you as you held him, letting him have his way with you while John B. sat behind you, arms protectively wrapped around your middle and stroking the skin of your bare stomach.

“Thank you, thank you both..” JJ whimpered, his lips kissing sloppily at your neck.

You shush him, running your fingers through his messy blond locks. “Shhh, you know we’re here for you, J. Always. Let’s take your mind off everything, yeah?”

He nods his head furiously, bright, teary blue eyes staring back at you as you slowly pull your white tank top over your head. His eyes automatically fall to your bra clad chest, soaking in your perfectly round breasts.

“She’s so pretty, JB.” JJ coos as one of his large palms cups at your tits, kneading the plump flesh softly.

John B. smirks, watching as his best friend toys with your perfect tits. “Yeah, I know. Enjoy it, she’s here to help you.”

JJ harshly yanks at the cups of your bra, pulling them down and letting your tits spring free. His fingers find your hard nipples, pinching and rolling them between his thumb and forefinger before he dips his head down and sucks one into his mouth.

You moan softly, JJ’s lips sucking and biting at your sensitive nipple while John B’s hands trail down your sides and into your denim shorts. JB’s fingers push down and into your silk panties, finding your clit and toying with it, pulling another soft moan from you.

“Fuck, John B, need more, please.” you beg, bucking your hips upward.

John B’s lips land on your shoulder, leaving soft kisses up and down your arm and neck as his fingers rub through your slick pussy.

“Sound so pretty when you beg for me, mama. Let’s let JJ taste this sweet pussy though, you okay with that?”

You bite at your bottom lip, staring back at JJ as he lets your nipple fall from his lips. He’s breathing heavy, lips slightly parted as he eyes you cautiously. “You ain’t gotta let me if you don’t-” JJ begins, but you cut him off, placing a hand over his mouth.

“No, I want you to. Please, JJ. Please eat my pussy.”

JJ grins, pushing himself back and watching as John B slowly works the button and zipper of your shorts. JB slowly pushes the material down your legs, your panties going along with them, baring your soaked pussy to JJ who sucks in a sharp breath.

“Damnit. She’s so fucking wet, JB. You sure this is okay?”

John B nods his head slowly. “Course. We’re here to help you, JJ. Go on. She’s so fucking sweet.”

JJ cautiously settles between your legs. His large hands grip at your thighs, spreading them open wider for him as he lays on his stomach and dips his head down, inhaling the sweet scent of your arousal.

A low hum of satisfaction fills the air, and you gasp when JJ leaves soft, slow kisses on your inner thighs. He works his mouth up the smooth flesh, sinking his teeth into the soft skin occasionally. When his mouth reaches your soaked core, he pauses, blue eyes looking up to find John B’s deep brown ones. John B. is busy toying with your hardened nipples, pausing his actions to meet his best friends stare, a small crease in his brow. “You good, Jay?” JB would ask.

JJ would nod his head, shaking the intrusion of thoughts that swarmed his head. John B. said it was fine, he needed to stop stressing that this would cause a strain on his friendship.

He dips his head back down, his tongue darting out to lick a long, hot stripe through your arousal slick folds. He curses under his breath at how fucking sweet you taste, “Fuck, she is so sweet.” He murmurs before diving in and devouring your pussy like it was his last meal.

Your chest heaves up and down, fingers tightly gripping John B’s thigh as JJ licks, sucks and fingers your sensitive cunt. John B. slowly lifts your head from his lap, removing himself from his position on the bed. JJ halts his actions, two thick fingers shoved deep inside you while he warily eyes his best friend.

John B gives him a small grin, “Just gonna flip her over so I can fuck her pretty mouth.”

JJ pulls his fingers from inside you, shoving them in this mouth and licking them clean as he watches John B effortlessly flip you onto your stomach. John B lands a harsh slap on your bare ass cheek, “Ass in the air baby, let JJ make you cum while you choke on my dick.”

You quickly obey your boyfriend’s demand, shifting onto your knees and placing your ass up and in the air. JJ smirks at the sight of your soaked pussy, ass swaying back and forth, waiting on his lips and tongue to reclaim their place on your swollen clit.

John B. quickly works his basketball shorts down his legs, boxers following closely behind. Your eyes watch intently as his long, hard cock springs free, precum already leaking from the tip. You’d never get over how big your boyfriend was.

John B. situates himself back on the bed, his hands gripping tightly at the back of your head and shoving your mouth down and on his cock. “That’s it, baby girl, choke on my dick. You know how I like it.”

You suck in a breath of air through your nose, hollowing your cheeks and begin sucking and licking every inch of your boyfriend’s length. You gag around him when the swollen head hits the back of your throat, but you quickly begin breathing through your nose and focusing on the pleasure JJ’s tongue was giving you once more.

The room is filled with the sounds of grunts, moans and all three of your heavy breathing. Your pussy clenches around JJ’s fingers as he continues to finger you and suck fervently at your clit. “I- ‘m gonna cum, J, shit!”

You moan loudly around John B’s cock as the band snaps, an earth shattering orgasm rushing through you and soaking JJ’s tongue and fingers.

John B continues harshly thrusting himself in and out of your mouth while JJ continues to finger fuck your pussy, his tongue licking and sucking at your clit, pushing you to a point of overstimulation.

You feel John B’s cock swell inside your mouth, a few more harsh thrusts and a deathly tight grip on your hair, you feel his cock twitch before the warm, salty taste of his cum coats your tongue. You continue to suck him furiously, helping him ride out his high as JJ’s tongue and fingers work you toward your second orgasm.

“Fffffuck! Always know how to make me feel so good, princess. Such a good girl.” John B praises, stroking softly at your cheek with his fingers.

You let out one final moan as JJ has you coming undone around his fingers again before pulling them from you, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. You fall limp in John B’s lap, allowing him to softly stroke your bare back.

“Thank y’all… I feel.. A lot better.” JJ says softly.

John B smiles at him, nodding his head once. “Of course, you know we’re always here for you man.”

You let out a hum of agreement, your eyes fluttering shut, the sound of your boyfriend and his best friend conversing the last thing you hear before sleep claims you.

JJ AND JB TAGLISTS: @princessslutt //@thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles // @rafesthroatbaby //@sturnioloshacker // @starkeysprincess // @rafescurtainbangz // @atorturedpoetx // @redhead1180 //@maybankskiss // @jjsmarijuana // @romaescapes //@kisses4angel // @lovelysturnioloos // @maybankslover // @simars3 // @urbimom // @antagonize-me-motherfucker // @princesssuki21 // @ijustwanttoreadlols // @baennied // @hyperfixationgirl // @chiaraanatra // @chimindity

main obx masterlist | taglist form

[ff7-has-taken-me-over]

Lmaooo that’s so funny soap being a villain but is too attractive so everyone just falls for him. It’s funny to think if he was ever interrogated because I think he would either flirt with who ever is going in to talk to him or is just making massive puppy eyes and is like “*gasp* you’re gonna hurt me?” With tears in his eyes and everyone is like “NO I’M SORRY”. I feel like certain people reaction’s would be so confusing to soap I feel like ghost and könig would be like I caught/found him first he’s mine and Rudy and Alejandro I’m not sure but they would love him.

Between one moment and the next my entire tumblr changed it’s layout. Anyway! For some reason I wasn’t notified of this and I’m so sorry for responding late.

But if Soap were captured he’d pull puppy eyes on Rudy, Gaz and König. Those three are the softest mf’s on the task force and would fall for it so damn hard that they’d probs let the man go if exposed to it any longer.

Rudy would pull out the pet names so damn quickly and go so soft on the man that Soap would actually feel somewhat bad for manipulating him like this.

Gaz I reckon would feel like he was hurting his little brother or kicking his dog and he’d develop a guilt complex like a mile long.

König would full on just become a flustered mess. He’d go in, all brooding, silent and strong and the second Soap pulled those watery puppy eyes on him he’d melt in the doorway and beg forgiveness.

Ghost and Alejandro would definitely be the ones Soap flirted with, hands down.

Like he’d flirt with Alejandro and the man would just completely forget what he even went in there to do. It would suddenly turn into a competition to see who could flirt better, and all it takes is Soap purring fluent Spanish with this smug little grin for him to know Alejandro’s a goner for him.

Ghost is a little trickier to break down but Soap wouldn’t be who he was if he didn’t love himself a challenge. It takes a few minutes of Ghost just sitting there stoically, but once Soap pulls out the Gaelic pet names and starts complimenting the man he knows he’s won.

Ghost literally takes the flirting and pet names as a proclamation of love and full on just decides, “Yeah he’s mine now. Touch him and I’ll kill you.” 😂

Price got one look at that shit eating grin and familiar Scottish drawl and knew for a damn fact he was abandoning his side for Soap. He came to care for the man like a son back during SAS days and it doesn’t matter if those are long since gone, that’s his son damnit!!

[gonnamurdersomeone]

CoD people as cats? I think so here we go!

Someone better appreciate this I literally took 3 pages from my fucking notebook to write all this shit down

Captain John “Bravo-6” Price

I think John would definitely be an Oriental cat if not that then probably a Burmese. Smart, quick on his feet and pretty loyal seems about right.

Lieutenant Simon “Ghost” Riley

I think Simon would be a Norwegian forest cat or a British Short hair.. for obvious reasons dude is a fuckin Brit through and through. I chose NFC becuase they are bigger types of cats and used to harsh climates

Sergeant Kyle “Gaz” Garrick

For Gaz I chose an Abyssinian cat, they are pretty, usually have pretty eyes (like him) and are pretty smart and playful. Very Gaz coded

Sergeant Johnny “Soap” MacTavish

Johnny boy would be a Scottish Fold or a Siamese cat. They are very vocal, love people and are just a joy to be around honestly. Plus they suffer from pretty boy syndrome so… yeah

Sergeant Gary “Roach” Sanderson

Gary my baby boy, I chose an OciCat cause of his name it’s so random? I thought him being a more exotic and weird cat would fit his aesthetic. Very pretty cats too!

General Hershel Shepherd

Fucking hell I hate this dude and for that I gave him a Sphynx cat, they are mean, bald and bossy as fuck. Sound about right for mister Shepherd no?

I want to kill him

Kate “Watcher-1” Laswell

Kate one of my favorites! She would definitely be an American Curl. Very pretty cats with a unique personality and it just fits her. That or a Bombay cat I couldn’t choose

Nikolai “Gaz fell out of the helicopter again”

Nik our lovable transportation buddy, of course he would get a Russian blue there is no need to elaborate here he would be a Russian blue. Very cool cats ngl

Farah “Kilo Actual” Karim

She is so pretty and such a girl boss istg. But I’m giving the Bengal cat or an Ural Rex very curly hair and just very funny kitties, I think it fits her

Alex “Echo 3-1” Keller (Jr Price fr)

Pretty boy gets a pretty cat!!! He gets to be a Manx cat cause of the no tail (and his one leg) nahh jokes aside very pretty kitties for a very pretty boy

Phillip “Shadow-1” Graves

I hate this dude with all my atoms but he’s tolerable compared to Shepherd.. But I gave Graved an American shorthair. One becuase he’s American and two his hairline makes me wanna cry

Vladimir Makarov

I hate you so so much for what you did in MW3… but you are a character so I’m still giving you a cat. If you were a cat my guy I think you’d be an Peterbald or a Karelian cat

Andre “Alpha 2-1” Nolan

Surprisingly not a bad character imo but he could use some more character development! I’m giving him a Korat cat or a Singapura. I wish he got more development in MW3 honestly :/

Alejandro Vargas

Alejandro! Our favorite Mexican man gotta love him and the cowboys. He’s a petty boy as well so I’m giving him a pretty chill and cool cat as well. A color point shorthair, not necessarily a *breed* per day but still he deserves a petty kitty

Rodolfo Parra

Rudy! Another cowboy we love what a gentleman <3 I’m giving him an Egyptian Mau kitty, it has spots and I think Rudy would be a spotted kitty. Very good boy

Valeria “El-Sin-Nombre” Garza

Mommy issues fr love this women. I support women rights AND wrongs 💪 she gets a Donskoy or a Savannah cat. Both wild kitties to match her wild and unpredictable personality I think it fits very well

König

Anxious King gotta love them! For obvious reasons he’s a Maine Coon cat, the biggest house cat there is. For being an absolute UNIT of a man he deserves a very loyal, pretty, and big kitty. God I just wanna smother this man

Kim “Horangi” Hong-jin

Toyger need I say more? It’s a literal house tiger, his name is fucking Tiger he gets to be the tiger damnit! 😤

Darnell “Hutch” Hutcherson

Dunno the rest of these guys very well (besides Nikto) but I’m giving Hutch a Chartreux cat. I wish the more obscure characters got more attention, no they may not be apart of the MW part but still they deserve love

Nikto

I love this man with every fucking atom of my body. My baby boy deserves the best cat in my opinion the Lykoi. Very cool, funny and amazing cats one of the best he’s just a goober I wanna pet him and keep him in my closet away from all the bad things

Mace

Mace heard some things about you here and there and decided I couldn’t leave you behind. You my friend would be an Oriental Longhair dunno why but I think it suits him

Velikan

Idk if this man is even part of the fandom? Either way I’m giving you a cat deal with it. You would be an Highlander cat if not then an Tonkinese kitty.

Keegan P Russ

Oh Keegan my dear boy, you would be a Devon Rex kitty, very smart, mischievous and overall just a joyful cat. You deserve the world my dear

Logan Walker

Ragdoll. You will get a ragdoll take it or leave or my guy. Just know I’m only adding you and everyone else because of Keegan

David “Hesh” walker

Hhhh.. hesh dude idk I’d probably give you a Havanah Brown kitty. Seems like a good fit. Unusual brown kitty for a unusual cool character

Elias T “Scarecrow” Walker

I literally know nothing about you? But I’m still giving you a cat! Uh I think possibly a Javanese cat would fit you my dude.

Alex v “Ajax” Johnson

Same with you like? I have never heard about you either but whatever. I think a Australian Mist or a Khao Manee cat would work

Alright so that’s all the CoD characters I think? I’m not sure if I missed anyone, if I did tell me and I’ll assign them in the comments or whatever.

No I’m not adding the other characters such as Diego or any other unknown Ghost team people or random background people that only have like 2 lines of dialogue or is barely even known within the CoD community.

[callsign-bunnie]

For the ask game, how would they respond to soap and rudy having uninterrupted, unsupervised, access to an engineering space for 24 hours? I feel like they would end up making some either really dangerous or really stupid bombs. (Nuclear glitter bombs and bombs that somehow make ice.)

Soap: Vibrates with excitement. Immediately throws together plans for like 8 different bombs.

Ghost: Stressed out, trying to break in and stop them.

Rodolfo: Gathers whatever Soap needs to build it, acts like a kid in a candy shop.

Alejandro: Trying to help Ghost break in to stop them.

Price: Locked Ghost and Alejandro out, because god damnit we need this.

Gaz: Helped Price lock them out, low key scared of the consequences

Graves: He’s the target. We know he’s the target. Deeply afraid.

Valeria: Laughs the entire time.

Farah: Laughs and records.

Alex: Tries to keep them calm

Laswell: Stressed but trying to stay calm

Roach: Thinks it’s funny, is in the room as their chaperone to keep them from blowing themselves up

[honeybear-yammy]

Yammy's 1k Followers Celebration

I finally hit 1k followers again on my new blog! I'm sorry that it has taken me so long to release my 1k followers celebration event, I've just been really unmotivated recently. Thank you all so, so much for getting me to 1k followers. I would not have got this far if it was not for all of you. So, since I have been a little unmotivated and have had writers block recently, there isn't going to be as much prompts for this one because I don't think I will be able to have a lot of prompts because of that.

I will have smut and fluff prompts for my 1k followers event and I will put the rules for this event down below.

Event Start: Sunday, March 21st 2023

Event End: Sunday, March 26th 2023

Rules

I ask that everyone please follows these rules if you are going to participate in my 1k followers event.

You can only select from the characters that are listed on this post. I a character or fandom is not posted then I'm most likely not writing for them for this event but, you can still ask if you're curious.

Please only do one prompt per request because, since I have writers block I find it much harder to write for multiple prompts in one fic but, eventually I'll be back to doing more than one prompt in a fic.

Also some people do this anonamysly but, please don't spam me multiple requests whether its anon or not. It's very overwhelming and a little annoying. You can of course request more than one but, please no spam.

If I write a fic too short, please don't come at me for it. It just depends on how much of an idea I have for the fic for how long it's going to be and when fic requests aren't that detailed it makes it a little harder for me to write a long one so, I just don't know what lengths each fic is going to be until after I write it.

Please just follow these rules 💗💗

Fandoms/Characters

Outer Banks

John B Routledge

JJ Maybank

Pope Heyward

Kiara Carrera

Sarah Cameron

Rafe Cameron

Topper Thornton

Cleo

Outer Banks Cast

Chase Stokes

Rudy Pankow

Drew Starkey

Austin North

The Vampire Diaries Universe

Damon Salvatore

Stefan Salvatore

Katherine Pierce

Klaus Mikaelson

Elijah Mikaelson

Kol Mikaelson

Rebekah Mikaelson

Elena Gilbert

Caroline Forbes

Bonnie Bennett

Enzo St. John

Marcel Gerard

Hayley Marshall

Euphoria

Rue Bennett

Maddy Perez

Cassie Howard

Nate Jacobs

Fezco

Stranger Things

Steve Harrington

Billy Hargrove

Eddie Munson

Jonathan Byers

Robin Buckley

Nancy Wheeler

Supernatural

Dean Winchester

Sam Winchester

Smut Prompts

“You look so hot in my clothes.”

“You’re not going out in that outfit.”

“You want me to give your (phone, book, etc.) back? Make me.”

“Please just let me finish this level and I swear I’ll fuck you just how you like it.”

“I’m not jealous! It’s just… you’re mine.”

“You better shut that pretty little mouth before I put it to work, doll.”

“Don’t fucking touch what’s not yours.”

“Please, remind me again why we are having sex behind a tree?”

“God damnit! Now all I can think about is you licking my cock like it’s that ice cream cone.”

“Let me show you why you should stay in bed.”

“I see you’ve started without me.”

“You’re really going to make me beg for it?”

“Are you going to eye fuck me all night or are you going to do something about it?”

“This cock isn’t gonna suck itself.”

“You’re mine. I don’t share.”

Fluff Prompts

“You look so cute with your baby bump!”

“You look beautiful in anything.”

“May I have this dance?”

“Do you think it’s possible that I… might be… pregnant?”

“Thank you for making me a mommy.” “Thank you for making me a daddy.”

 “Every inch of you is breathtaking.”

“I’ve been excited to see you all day.”

 "I’ll keep you warm.”

“Are you my secret admirer? The one whose been sending me all those flowers and notes?”

“Can you pretend to be my partner for my friend’s wedding? I told them I’d have a plus one.”

 “Apparently all our friends have a bet going that we end up together.”

“You give my butterflies.”

“Wait! Baby, my lip gloss is all over your lips.”

“Would it be alright if I borrowed your sweater? It smells like you.”

“I wouldn’t change a thing about you.”

So I picked 30 prompts, 15 for both fluff and smut since that is all I feel like I can do at the moment. I look forward to seeing all of your requests and again I just wanted to say thank you for getting me to 1k again. Requests for the event will be opened for one week from now until next Sunday but, yeah lmao.

Tagging People Below

@pankhoeforlife @strokesofstokes @samxslaughter @drewbooooo @cecespeach @blueicequeen19 @gillybear17 @lovedetlost

[angrysadhappy]

I can’t eat at Thanksgiving

The table is too close to my stomach and the seats are too tight around my hips, I hate the taste of strawberry flavored jello and orange cream soda. My cousins next to me spill their disgusting concoction of mashed potato-soup-n-Reece’s peanut butter cups onto my plate, my siblings in front of me annoy me with their conversation, the things they bring up to either embarrass or mock me,

“Hey Jas, hey-“

“What Melinda.”

“You’ve got something- giggle- you’ve got something on your face”

I sigh. I roll my eyes

“What. Melinda.”

“Something stupid!”

everyone cracks out high pitched giggles or squeals. I am not amused, I am very annoyed;

Im 16 but im still sitting in the kid’s table.

I stare at the adults; up at them I admire their clean clothes, their sophisticated talks, their expressions are appropriate and pleasant, they all look so put together, like a painting they look perfect.

I stare down in shame, looking at those who sit with me; their dresses stained, opening their mouth full of food to laugh, hitting each other or stealing food off each others plate, too many conversations going at once, we are so unkept, so much of a distraction, I feel like a burden. I sit here with them as if I belong so well in this environment. I’m afraid to make eye contact with my mother or uncle, to see in their eyes what confirms that I deserve to be sat in the kids table.

Ive lost my appetite, i refuse to eat

I’ve felt this way for a while.

Not even when I brought a boy to dinner did my position change, not after I got caught and got “the talk”, and then the break up and I’ve told my family everything; not even after all that did they invite me to sit with them. I see it now having a man doesn’t make me woman, I see now being 16 doesn’t make me mature, but I can’t seem to understand that even when i understand the politics, know the name of wines, know the taste of liquor and the reasons why some people aren’t invited; I still don’t know why I can’t sit at the adult’s table.

My aunt died.

I took her place, I sit where she sat, got her same plate

Green beans, gravy on potatoes, BBQ Rudy’s takeout meats, sweet cream corn and white bread for a side dish

I miss her, she was the one I admired most. I looked up to her in every sense; made my makeup look like hers, I fake her birth marks and I even learned her accent— she’s got this way of her that I think I’m losing. She’s a child at heart, everyone’s baby, but she died so young so I guess it makes sense that everyone expects me to be what she should’ve been.

I know I shouldn’t take creative liberties when writing about the truth but as absurd it might seem this is what I think.

I truly do feel like I have to be someone’s everything, that without me they die, without my mind they’d go crazy, act like I’m a part of their body; most preferably the heart. But i learned that kind of thinking is what killed my aunt, that way of submissive cheating is what weakens the body, crushes the hope in your mind and leaves nothing but a withered soul who wishes for death, no longer does it believes it deserves happiness.

What a fucking joke this adult table is, not every family member is here, not everyone is here by choice and no one is really happy; god damnit why did I ask to sit here! was it my ungrateful thinking that brought this darkness?

The living room feels so small now, the lights don’t glow as bright and Thanksgiving brings me nothing but anxiety. I don’t miss my parents, my grandma or my aunt, I miss my cousins, my siblings and toys. I miss being a kid, back when I had nothing in mind. So badly I want to sit, sit back where I belong at my favorite spot in the kid’s table.

But I don’t fit. I’m too grown for a colorful plastic seat, my appetite changed—

“What does that mean?

“It means I don’t eat the same”

“Why?”

“I can’t handle sweets”

“But I love candy— I love Reece’s Peeb-mut M-cups”

“Yeah I like em too”

There it is. There’s my answer. My why to;

I’m 16 but I’m still sitting at the kid’s table.

Im still a child which is why I feel comfortable sitting here, but in just 3 years I’ll be an adult so that’s why I don’t fit in my seat. I feel uncomfortable because I’m in a transition of getting ready to leave. The action of fleeing doesn’t mean I’m in danger, I want my body to understand this; that changes don’t always equate to negative things. This is a part of life many find difficult, I think that’s natural. This way of thinking is good for the soul, it gives the body its strength to grow, the mind permission to breathe and learn. It gives the meaning to life and it makes the idea of the adults table more comfortable.

Today, this thanksgiving; I sit where my aunt used to sit but that doesn’t mean I need to be what she should’ve been. My uncle doesn’t bring up my grades, my mom doesn’t ask about my exes, grandma called me a young lady and my cousin just turned 3.

I sit and watch him take my seat. With great pride I wonder what he thinks of me, because in little glances when I pass the turkey, pie or green beans; I see him staring at me, the same eyes I couldn’t take off Tia Candy.

[whumpy-daydreams]

Nightmares

Masterlist

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CW: nightmares, past abuse

Rudy couldn't sleep. It wasn't like there was anything on his mind, he just wasn't tired. There was nothing to do in his grimy apartment and the boredom gnawed at him until eventually he gave up pacing and decided he'd go to work early.

The facility was brightly lit against the darkness of the wilderness it was in, floodlights turning the gravel pale and windows shining brightly into the night. Still, it was quiet.

The only people there were the guards on night shift, roaming the halls or stood outside sleeping quarters. But Rudy headed to one of the CCTV rooms.

This one in particular was for the secure wing - cameras monitoring all of the high risk prisoners. He knew several of them, had given out punishments or supervised experiments. There were only a couple he knew very well. One was imprisoned for treason, caught trying to stir rebellion and start a coup. But that was years ago and his rebellious streak had been worn down, left to rot in peace.

The other was Rowena. It took a moment for him to find the right screen, night vision making them all look the same.

She was curled tightly in the corner of the bed, and he was struck by how young she looked. She didn’t toss or turn, just stayed curled up tightly, body tense. Every now and then her face would flicker in pain, muscles twitching.

He didn't notice the moment she woke up, only when she shifted onto her back, breathing heavily. And there she stayed for the rest of the night.

___

Rowena was already awake when the lights turned on, but at least now she could see. Hopefully there wasn't anything planned for her today and she could have a nap later.

“Morning, sunshine!” Rudy said with a grin as he entered Rowena’s cell. Damnit.

“Morning, dickhead!” She replied, not moving from her position on the bed as Rudy set her breakfast on the table. 

“Ouch, that one really stung. How did you sleep?"

"Lying down in bed."

"And here I was thinking you slept standing up." He sat down, back against the wall. "What was your nightmare about?"

Rowena grit her teeth and didn't reply.

"Don't be such a tease. I'd hate to force it out of you. Are they about me?"

Rowena laughed harshly. “Don’t flatter yourself. Believe it or not you’re not the worst person I’ve ever known.” Now it was Rudy’s turn to scowl.

"I'm sure I can rise to the challenge."

"Fine." She didn't feel like a trip to the medical bay today. "They're about Marcus."

"Who the fuck is he?" Rudy looked incredulous, as if the idea of someone else causing her nightmares was impossible.

"He taught me," Rowena sighed. "Adopted me when I was eight and taught me how to kill people." A flicker of realisation passed Rudy's face.

"Your back. He did that." Her silence was answer enough. "I wondered why you reacted so strongly to that. What else did he do?"

"Does it matter?"

"I'm curious."

"Tough shit. Now can I eat my breakfast in peace?"

___

Rudy felt disappointed as he left. How had Marcus left such an impact on her? The physical scars were obvious enough - but nothing worse than anything Rudy had done to her.

He felt jealous. Jealous that someone else had left scars before him, jealous that someone else had left such an impression.

[reindeer-dad]

I posted 931 times in 2022

That's 637 more posts than 2021!

467 posts created (50%)

464 posts reblogged (50%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@huds-hub

@reindeer-dad

@bodycontainsahumansoul

@framedrawn

@huds-makes-fanart

I tagged 931 of my posts in 2022

#reindeer dad [ ic ] - 190 posts

#out of cookies [ ooc ] - 165 posts

#grey guy [ anons interact ] - 142 posts

#the real deals better! [ fanart ] - 108 posts

#reindeer games [ ic memes answered ] - 97 posts

#big guy [ asgore ] - 85 posts

#tough on everything [ guest muse mrs holiday ] - 79 posts

#youngest softest doe [ noelle ] - 79 posts

#beast and beast [ asgore/rudy ] - 71 posts

#huds speaks [ ooc memes answered ] - 70 posts

Longest Tag: 129 characters

#the fact that this art and this headcanon dropped while i was planning my response to carols real thoughts about the dreemurrs...

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Happy Friday!

Here, have the unedited art I made of Rudy being distracted by Asgore’s barrel chest. Can’t blame him.

14 notes - Posted March 25, 2022

#4

Mrs Holiday, can you share your thoughts about the Dreemurs?

See the full post

15 notes - Posted February 22, 2022

#3

@roleplayersoul​   (continued from here)

“Give a little look, do a little shimmy, wiggle them hips. Or, ya know -- take it easy and just hang around shirtless." Rudy’s wide, toothy smile was infectious, his fluffy little tail in full swing. "Can’t go wrong with me as your audience, big guy. I'm not a picky man!" The mood was light, which he preferred. As a lover, Rudy liked keeping things on the playful side. Carefree laughter was a sign of comfort, and he would respond to his partner with plenty of touches and attentiveness.

Rudy looked at the fluffy paw that fell onto his hand. He drew his gaze upward. Powerful arms that would appear intimidating to somebody who was a stranger to Asgore. White ears peaking from cascades of blonde hair like boulders cutting through the cliff of a waterfall. Soft creases collecting on the corners of his mouth and eyes whenever he laughed and smiled. They say that a loved one is 1000 tiny details combined into one person. Rudy must have seen them hundreds of times over the years. But now, those tiny details affected him differently. He was drawn to them, filling him with a desire of wanting to bring himself as close to Asgore as possible.

...there was no doubt in Rudy’s mind that he was very much in love with his dearest friend.

Gorey had found his way to become a parental figure to his daughters and practically a husband to Rudy. All the hugs, those nuzzles, the hand-holdings. Finding themselves comfortably snuggled against each other at night. It wasn’t just friendly tenderness anymore - it meant something, right? What they had was so special, it was more important than any physical desire he had.

But God damnit, Rudy wanted this. Sure, the ol’ reindeer wasn't shy. But the years afforded him to be wise enough to not jeopardize an important relationship for a chance to roll in the sack.

He decided, then and there, that if Asgore showed any signs of pulling away, he’d retract, apologize, and never ever attempt to come onto his friend again.

Rudy’s hand remained under Asgore's paw. His smile softened as his free hand brushed along the side of the larger man's face. "You mean so much to me..." He spoke sincerely as Asgore’s soft eyes gazed at the shorter man. They were always - always - so full of warmth for him.

"Wouldn't do a thing to mess up what we have..." A simple, soft caress down the blonde beard, his thumb grazing over the creases of the other’s face.

Rudy’s hand found itself at the center of Asgore’s chest. He could swear Gorey’s heart was pounding under his palm. "Can't describe it...” His smile lifted playfully, now brushing his hand in short strokes. "...but I ain't pullin' out a dictionary for something I can just show you...”

17 notes - Posted June 8, 2022

#2

It's here...

I'll upload individual, higher quality pictures tomorrow (this picture is terribly compressed...)! Thanks, that was fun!

Berdly, having a feather-ruffling day - @inquireanerdyberd Undertale Asgore, AKA "Papa Gorey" - @roleplayersoul "Oops-I-created-a-Dark-Fountain" Kris - @klairdelune Holiday Blues Dark World Rudy, Hammer of Justice Nails - @deltaruneholidayblues Jaded!Ralsei, ready to stab yo ass - @princewithoutakingdom sans, sans-ing everywhere - @withoutcomedy

19 notes - Posted May 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

@roleplayersoul​‘s Asgore offering you some fruitcake for the 150 Follows Special. His extra-squishiness was inspired by @mooniimystic‘s fanart. Stitching the sweater pattern onto the picture was a pain in the ass, but it was 100% worth it!

Deer and goat. Asgorudy. ASGORUDY!

19 notes - Posted May 12, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[kraekat29]

Labyrinth- Chapter Eight

Each day was becoming more and more unbearable, each kiss tore her heart in half because it wasn't real, it was all fake.

Some part of Paige wished Rudy was being serious when he'd kiss or hell even meant it when he said he loved her.

She sighed as she walked off set, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, god playing love interests was harder than she thought it would be.

Paige leaned against her trailer, sipping her bottle of cherry coke, quickly getting lost in her own thoughts- she really should go back to Vegas soon to check on her aunt.

It would be nice to have a break, maybe she could actually clear her head and push Rudy out of her thoughts for awhile.

But that thought only made her think of him more, silently wondering what if it was like if this wasn't just JJ and Ruby, could they actually be good together?

Paige quickly shook her head, no, absolutely not, she was not catching feelings for Rudy, this wouldn't end well- she knew she'd end up being hurt in the end.

She wasn't going to take that chance, no way, she was professional and besides their relationship was strictly platonic, no chance of catching feelings.

But why did she want to?? What the hell was going on with her? Paige Bailey did not date, she didn't look at guys and gush over them, and she most certainly did not fall in love with someone she barely even knew.

Anxiety thrummed in her chest, she felt like her throat was closing in as it clawed it's way up- she needed to go, she needed a way out and now. 

She scanned the area, unable to focus- fuck where was the exit? She started to hyperventilate, everything around her was closing in.

She sunk onto the floor and held her head in her hands, closing her eyes and rocking back and forth, her heart was beating so fast that she could hear it.

She felt someone grab her hand and looked up, god why was he here? This would only make things worse for her..

He rubbed soothing circles on the back of her hand, and surprisingly it worked- this wasn't good, she was completely vulnerable.

Paige tried to stand but Rudy caught her around the waist, gently pulling her to sit back down, damnit she had no way out.

She knew by the look on his face that he wanted answers, she chewed on her bottom lip, thinking of what to do.

With a deep breath she looked up at him before unloading everything.

[echoequinox]

Oh god I just realize Rudy’s gotta die or Kriselle is gonna get Weird

[tomfreakinghollandneedsaoscar]

Y'all I'm never gonna stop talking about the polariods of Rudy

[cherry-whining]

kiss him, Liesel, kiss him

[callsign-bunnie]

Alright idk if this was already asked but could you please tell what Alejandro’s proposal to rudy be like??

(Did he like get help by anyone or something??)

Alejandro definitely got help

It wasn't big or public or anything because Rodolfo doesn't like that stuff

Instead, Alejandro called in a favor to Valeria

She kidnapped Rodolfo and dragged him to a really nice garden gazebo thing. She almost spoiled it, too, just to be an ass

Rodolfo is at first upset because he genuinely thought he was being kidnapped but Alejandro clearly put a lot of effort into everything so he reluctantly stayed

Had no idea what was going on, though

Alejandro basically had a bunch of stuff from their childhood and he'd spent hours slaving over cooking Rodolfo's favorite childhood foods

Rodolfo decided to forgive him for the fake kidnapping

Alejandro has to borderline fight him for a dance, but Rodolfo gives in, and ends up having fun dancing with him

Alejandro spins him and Rodolfo has to catch himself on the railing of the gazebo

However, he laughs and turns around and Alejandro is just on his knee, holding up a ring

Rodolfo screams. Like actually screams. Alejandro was not expecting that so he's a little freaked out at first

Alejandro doesn't even get to ask the question, though, because Rodolfo is already saying yes over and over

"Damnit, I had a whole speech"

Rodolfo manages to contain his excitement so Alejandro could give the speech and then immediately says yes again

Alejandro barely got the speech out, anyway, because he was laughing so hard

They kiss

[good-evening-mr-kaplan]

In all my 23 years of life Dino's version of Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer is the best version I've ever heard and so here it is for all of you to listen to too.