#dazatsu valentine exchange

[lightgirlification]

V-DAY DAZATSUUU!!!

HELLOOO ALL! Tis that time of year again, Valentine’s Day! <3 And in honor of that, @dazatsu-exchange has run a Valentine’s event for Dazatsu! You all know how much I love this pairing, and for it to be celebrated not only on V-day, but my birthday is extremely sweet!

Like a box of chocolates :3

So! I present my gift to @arqueritehg !!! I hope you like it!!! <3 

They requested some Dazatsu cooking, and lord almighty the SMILE I had when I got this prompt, and I possibly imitated this GIF:

And while I was worried of the outcome, and Atsushi’s arms made me want to throw my precious tablet out the window, I am happy of the final product <3

Again, I hope you like it @arqueritehg and thank you @dazatsu-exchange​ for running this amazing, cute event!!! 

Now, tis time to drown myself in all of the Dazatsu V-Day content. If I never return, then you all should know I died a happy death :3

[empathique]

@nnv707, surprise~! I’m your Secret Dazatsu Valentine’s *dances around you*

I hope you enjoy this humble little piece, and have a wonderful day/Valentine’s Day (in advance~)

[pinkcupofcherrytea]

[Fic] Pay no worship to the garish sun [Dazatsu]

Title: Pay no worship to the garish sun Summary: Dazai, a bored, restless god – tired of the mindless humans that pray to him, and is by now quite good at avoiding his duties and peers – wanders through the land and meets a human living all by himself in the dark woods. Relationship(s): Dazai/Atsushi Rated: T Warnings: Implied/mentioned sex. Author’s note: This is my gift for @magicalgirlmafu as a part of the Dazatsu Valentine Exchange 2017, I’m your secret valentine! I tried my best to squeeze in parts of your prompts and likes all over the place but I don’t know if I succeeded I hope you’ll like it, and Happy Valentine’s Day! 

Disclaimer: Title is a quote from William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, act three scene two.

[Contains Pining-and-sort-of-ridiculous-god!Dazai, Oblivious-human!Atsushi, I’m-tired-of-this-shit!Kunikida, Smoking-philosofer!Odasaku and I-ship-it!Yosano]

Dazai looks upon the tiny figures scurrying around down below, preparing food and decorations for tonight’s feast. He does not quite sneer, but the expression on his face is more unfavourable than pleased.

“I don’t understand the fondness you have for them.” Dazai says and roll over to lay on his back with his eyes closed. The eternal glow of the realm too bright.

He catches the sound of Odasaku’s faint chuckle, and finally relaxes against the buzzing stone beneath him. The familiar darkness and the absence of insignificant things – there is only he and Odasaku here now, Ango hadn’t been able to join them, being stuck in his ever-growing library – it made his day better.

“It’s not as much fondness as it is envy,” Odasaku answered, and when Dazai opened his eyes to look at him he absently stared down at the humans.

Dazai could feel a wrinkle on his forehead when he frowned and hurried to smooth it out before asking. “What is it they have that we don’t?”

Except the formalities, of course: Power, deathly good looks (at least in Dazai’s case) and other things that Dazai didn’t bother counting.

Odasaku shrugs, and it takes some time for him to answer. He leans back against the smooth pillar and drags his finger over the thin pipe in his hands. “They have life.”

Dazai blinks. “So do we. Unfortunately.”

Odasaku ignores that last part, and breathe in some more smoke before continuing.

“No, not like that. They actually live. They…” Odasaku hesitates, unsure on how to explain. “Their life might be a path towards death, Dazai, but they make the most of it.”

Another inhale of smoke.

“And I can respect that. Their life… it can be unbelievably beautiful would you look closer.”

Dazai hums and shields his eyes from the immersing light.

 Decades later, Dazai would stand at the edge of a shore, watching parts of wrecked ships float to shore. The sky was clear, blown bare after days of hard wind and pelting rain. Dazai take a few steps forward. Had he been human the clucking waves would’ve attacked his ankles, soaking them with salty water. Instead, Dazai nodded his head, and the water that’d been the destruction of so many ships and lives parted obediently, continuing its’ journey up the sand but leaving a small circle for Dazai to stand dry.

“They live.” Odasaku had said.

“They die.” Dazai thought, and left the beach.

In the end, humans might not be so different from them, but for now they were nothing but another entity in this world.

…

 Dazai stumbled over some roots, and would have fallen face first into the fertile soil hadn’t he managed to grab a branch and pull himself up. Dazai swore he could hear a faint chuckling in the wind when it rustled the leaves, despite his precautions for Yosano not knowing he’d visited her woods.

Trespassed, might be a better word for it, but why bother with details?

Point was that he wanted to be alone. Running away from duties came with the responsibility not to be caught doing it. And while Kunikida certainly knew what Dazai did, didn’t mean he knew where.

Dazai kept walking. It went slow. There were no clear path in this part of the giant woods. The trees grew freely and in some places were so tightly wound that it was impossible to press through. Dazai walked around instead, and so it had played out the few couple of days that had passed since he’d entered. His loitering was still faster than any man, even though he actively didn’t use his magic his eyes found the smartest shortcuts, the footprints of animals glowing around him, easy to spot.

And, there. A larger, outdrawn footprint.

The earth had been pushed down, up at the sides, by something heavy but agile, with crafted leather instead of fur and claws. Dazai frowned. There shouldn’t be a human this deep into the woods. There was a village, perhaps half a day from here, if you knew where to go. Dazai had passed it on his way, deliberately avoiding the people there and instead made it to the trees surrounding it on all sides. The humans living in the village seemed the kind to stay within their controlled areas, only leaving it to reach larger cities beyond the valley. For a villager to walk around this deep in… desperate for a good hunt, perhaps?

Dazai continued to walk. He seems to take the same path the human did, and soon the trees resemble something less than a wall, a little more space between the thick trunks and rays of sunlight slipping through the majestic crowns of leaves. As abrupt as Kunikida screaming at Dazai to wake up from his daily nap, the trees split. Stopped. A small field, nothing more than a patch of grass, really, with small flowers weakly attempting to beat the green vegetation with specks of purple, white, and yellow. Only interrupted by a body, laying still in the middle of it all.

The human boy – a young man – sleeps on his back.

Unaware of the many dangers that lurks behind the old trees, behind small, thorny bushes, the boy sleeps.

Dazai sneaks closer, curious despite himself. The sun has trouble breaking through the thick roof of leaves, a few rays give some light to the small glen. The ground is soft with grass and flowers and no sound was heard when Dazai stepped closer. It wasn’t so strange for the boy to sleep here. If anywhere in these great woods this was a place of tranquillity, of peace. The only odd thing was the boy, still. A human this far in, far away from his kin.

The grass tickled the human’s naked arms and Dazai saw pale lips half-open and how the unusual light hair reflected the sun. It almost seemed to glow. In a matter of seconds Dazai peered down at him, wondering. Dazai’s eyes took a peculiar shine, and he could read the prints and strings surrounding the sleeping human as if reading a book.

A book with a language only he could understand.

The boy had stolen. Twice, maybe more, but not something overly valuable. A piece of bread, an apple or two. There were the aura of scars etched on his skin beneath the white shirt, and his feet had callouses after walking barefoot for a long time.

There was no hint of true deviousness anywhere on or in his body. The boy had regrets but no sins, the strings attached to him gleaming in pure gold.

Dazai blinked. Intrigued now. He leaned closer, to take a better look, to figure this being out, and maybe to get a better look on the exquisite colour of the human’s oddly cut hair. Dazai was close enough to catch a whiff of burned wood and something else. Something distinctly more human but with an evident fragrance of flowers. Dazai followed the bridge of the nose down to the human lips and then up again.

To the very open eyes that stared back at him.

An explosion of colours blinked blearily at Dazai, surprise succeeded weariness, followed by a quick dose of sudden fear.

Dazai himself felt frozen. Couldn’t move a muscle. As the emotions in his eyes caught up with the rest of his body, the human lurched to the side, his before relaxed, soft lips open wide with a gasp half-way out before Dazai even had the chance to blink.

The wind rustling the leaves seemed to fade out, and left was only Dazai’s own undying and usually unnecessary heart thumping.

And Dazai had been through a lot. His life long enough for his beginning to be blurry, almost erased. He’d sneaked under the nose of beasts to have a look at their hoards, had tricked almighty gods to eat their weight in dirt concealed as treats, had run from enraged goddesses demanding his head on a plate, and all he could think when seeing those eyes for the first time was a silent “oh”.

Oh.

  They live, he heard.

They die, he knew.

Well, some of them are abnormally cute, he found out.

 …

“So what’s your name?”

“I don’t think that’s important right now!”

“Nonsense. Look, I’m not even bleeding. So, your name…?”

“Atsushi. It’s Atsushi. Are you sure you’re okay? I’m so sorry-“

“Atsushi. I surprised you, didn’t I? Your reaction was understandable.”

“Even so, let me… I can make it up to you!”

“Hmm. Okay then. Don’t you want to know my name?”

“…”

“Well?”

“Sorry, please tell me your name?”

“I’m Dazai.”

“Dazai, Dazai-san. Once again, I’m so sorry…”

“You’re forgiven.”

 …

 Atsushi showed himself to be one of those humans that existed outside of the masses, not really by choice, but because it was necessary according to said masses. The cottage he lived in was small, worn by time but cared for in the years Atsushi had lived in it. Alone. Dazai frowned when Atsushi told him he wasn’t exactly welcome in the village, but if he wanted to take a walk they could go down to the river?

“Sure!” Dazai smiled.

(He sent crows to make some fuss in the village. Atsushi told him about the strange occurrence a couple of days later, a frown on his lips but laughter in his eyes. Dazai was pleased.)

 …

 “Hello, Atsushi-kun! Nice day today, isn’t it?”

Atsushi startled with a shriek, whipping around and almost crushed the innocent flower in his hand.

“Dazai-san! You have to stop doing that!”

“With what?” Dazai took a step back to give the other some space to catch his breath, but kept smiling mischievously.

“Jumping out of nowhere! I have no idea how you keep surprising me.”

“You reacted better than the first time.”

Atsushi groaned and a fierce red coloured his neck, unrelated to the earlier scare. “I wish you’d stop bringing that up.”

“Sorry.” Dazai said, which was only half a lie.

Dazai sat down next to Atsushi. Conversation flowed easily before a comfortable silence ensued. Dazai leaned back and enjoyed the quiet, only a faint sound of birds and rustling branches was heard in the distance.

Suddenly, Atsushi reached out to push some stray strands of hair away from his face with a concerned smile. Dazai went completely still as Atsushi realised what he was doing and quickly pulled back his hand.

“Sorry,” Atsushi mumbled, “it’s just… you look tired, Dazai-san. You know you don’t have to come visit me all the time right? Your journeys must be pretty exhausting, after all.”

Dazai shook his head, had to himself from wincing when Atsushi mentioned the line of work Dazai’d told him about, reaching down to clasp Atsushi’s hand reassuringly. “Visiting you is always worth it.”

Atsushi currently believed Dazai worked with trading, venturing between the village by the woods and those on the other side of the mountain. Dazai chose not to mention that such long journeys would make it impossible for him to visit as often as he did, or that Dazai had never sold a thing in his very long life. He also didn’t mention the whole thing about not being exactly human; a quite important detail that’d been forgotten somewhere between Atsushi and Dazai getting to know each other and Dazai starting to visit the small cottage in the glen as often as possible.

Dazai would tell him, someday.

 …

 Most of Atsushi’s emotions had its own, special colour and appearance; easy to see when looking in his eyes. Beauty existed there.

They looked more yellow when Dazai brought food, pretending it was from the village, and it might be considered ridiculous to become so immensely happy about food, but it made Atsushi smile so Dazai expertly sneaked inside Kenji’s storages to bring back a feast. They young god had more food than he needed, anyway.

The purple in Atsushi’s eyes were more visible when Dazai was about to leave. The fascination Dazai had for them made it harder to leave, Dazai wanted to stay to explore them some more.

When annoyed, Atsushi’s left eye twitched. When nervous, he blinked more often and when embarrassed he avoided to look Dazai in the eyes.

Dazai considered stealing Kunikida’s precious book to write all of this down – and more – and loudly say “there’s your ideals!”

However, since Dazai didn’t enjoy pain he refrained, using the time it would’ve taken to plan, execute and flee from such actions and planted flowers around Atsushi’s cottage instead.

“Look, Dazai-san!” Atsushi screamed when he visited the next day, pointing excitedly at the many lush plants. They were orange and pink, blue and white with big and small petals. No thorns, but smooth and ready to be plucked. Even Dazai easily acknowledged the beauty in the flowers that clung to the walls and spread around the small cottage, and he felt no less smug about it.

“They must have bloomed during the night! I didn’t notice anything, aren’t they amazing?”

Dazai grinned.

“Do you think they’re edible?”

Okay, maybe a little less smug now. Dazai’s grin turned into a confused smile.

“What?”

Atsushi eyed the flowers eagerly, eyes yellow and bright, and Dazai realised this might not be as obvious as he thought it was.

…

 “Edible!” Yosano was in hysterics, her hands pressed against her stomach from laughing so much it hurt. “He wants to eat your gift.”

Dazai wanted to inform Yosano that Atsushi had eaten plenty of his gifts. But could get her point since they were actual food.

He wanted to tell Yosano that Atsushi’s smiles were like the sunlight in her woods. Dripping through the foliage, always cut off by shadows but persistent in reaching the ground. Beautiful and brilliant. That making him smile was like controlling the weather, which wasn’t his area at all.

Yosano was the only god he could consult with. Atsushi lived in her woods, on her land. And a few months ago she had it all figured out.

“I’ve noticed you’ve visited quite a few times now, sadly I’ve not been informed?”

Dazai didn’t look up immediately, instead opting to calmly set down the brush he’d been using before meeting Yosano’s satisfied and somewhat guarded look.

“I’ve enjoyed the scenery.”

“Oh, I see. The scenery.” Yosano smirks and raises her cup, and Dazai realise she knows.

He pretends he doesn’t know what she’s talking about, ignores her looks, and picks up the brush again.

So far, Yosano knowing hadn’t really been a hindrance, more than a bruise on Dazai’s pride with sneaking through other god’s domains unnoticed. Instead, Yosano seemed to be an unexpected ally, though Dazai never asked her to. She granted him free passage to Atsushi’s small cottage. “As long as you don’t set anything on fire” was the only requirement, and Dazai thought that sounded reasonable. Atsushi didn’t like fire that much, anyway.

Yosano’s presence wasn’t bad. She and Dazai hadn’t talked much outside of yearly parties or godly get-togethers. Dazai wasn’t a god of the same nature than ran through her veins, but occasionally she seemed to enjoy the same sorts of trickery Dazai did (he suspected all the gods did in secret, except for Kunikida, and that they were all just hypocrites).

Dazai almost fainted when he visited Atsushi only for a great BEAST to sit by his side during the weeks when wild spirits plagued the area, happily being fed small pieces of meat by a euphoric Atsushi.

“But why a dog?” Dazai whined to Yosano who smirked and leaned back in the comforter she was perched upon, fruit and wine on a small table next to it that they both took joy in devouring as fast as possible.

“It was a wolf, and I protect my own, Dazai.” Yosano said.

Dazai snorted.

“If that’s the case how come you didn’t do anything when I sent birds to your village?”

Yosano occupied herself with a pitcher of wine and said nothing.

 …

 Dazai felt tired of lying. The true meaning behind the flowers, except to make Atsushi smile, had been to make him wondering. For Atsushi to figure that Dazai was no simple trader, or even human for that matter.

Next time, Dazai handed Atsushi a bouquet of flowers himself. Instead of inquiring if he could eat them, Atsushi blushed and fussed with putting them in something suitable or hang them up somewhere. Dazai suggested pressing some of them between the pages of a book.

“I don’t have any books,” Atsushi said, and flushed with embarrassment and added, quieter, “I can’t read.”

Dazai brought books together with the next bouquet, and didn’t return to his realm until Atsushi could write both of their names and the name of the flowers Dazai had given him. After he learnt Atsushi to write a full sentence in the sand outside the cottage Atsushi hugged him close for the first time.

The world quivered and golden strings shot through every corner of the woods as the tightly controlled power in Dazai chest and eyes slipped, unravelling the universe as he knew it.

Dazai hugged back and closed his eyes.

He didn’t know how long the stayed like that until Atsushi let go. He gave Dazai a shy smile before standing up and stretched his thin arms – Dazai enjoyed seeing they were bigger than before – up towards the leaf-covered sky. Atsushi clasped his hands behind his back.

“Do you want to go to the river, Dazai-san? It’s not as warm there.”

While the trees gave enough shadow, the air was a little stifling when the sky stood so high in the sky. Dazai agreed, and they walked the short way to the small river that trailed all the way from the mountain, but there bigger and wider, through the village and then through parts of the woods. The water was clear and fresh, so Dazai shouldn’t be surprised when Atsushi crouched and dipped his hand in before looking at Dazai.

Atsushi hesitated. “Want to go for a swim? There’s a place where it’s deeper right over there.”

Dazai leaned towards a tree, not making any attempts at getting closer to the water. “I can’t swim.” He said honestly.

Atsushi gaped and Dazai bit back a grimace. It honestly wasn’t that odd. His domain didn’t include water. If it were dark alleys, lonely libraries and sneaking around roof-tops, then yes. However, Dazai never had a reason for learning how to swim. Should he ever need to then he could simply walk on the water. But apparently this didn’t impress Atsushi – though Dazai didn’t actually try walking on water right now. Didn’t seem like the right time.

“I’ll teach you then!” Atsushi beamed. “In exchange for teaching me how to read, I’ll teach you how to swim!”

Dazai had a perfect excuse, a very palpable one indeed, but then Atsushi made a move to remove his shirt and suddenly the whole idea didn’t seem that bad.

They undressed. Atsushi seemed uncomfortable with his scars, so Dazai didn’t look or ask despite seeing a furiously red-gold string wrapped around his waist, wavering up over Atsushi’s neck. When Dazai looked up, he saw Atsushi eye his chest, something unidentifiable marked on his face before noticing Dazai was watching, then he quickly looked away and focused on removing the rest of his clothes.

The water was cold but Atsushi waded out until it embraced his knees. He looked back to the rock where Dazai was still standing. Atsushi laughed.

“It’s not so bad! Come on, Dazai-san!”

Dazai didn’t doubt that Atsushi clearly exaggerated about the pleasantness of it all, but stepped into the water. Sharp stones dug into his feet but he continued on until he stood with water up to his knees next to Atsushi.

“It’s not that deep here,” Atsushi explained and slowly sank down into the water while walking further away from land, “so you don’t have to worry about drowning.”

“Ah, that’s where you’re wrong, I wouldn’t worry about that in any case.”

Atsushi rolled his eyes but didn’t comment, instead gesturing for Dazai to follow him.

They spent the rest of the day’s hottest hours in that river. Atsushi laughed when Dazai gulped down water while trying to strike his long arms through it, but then started stroke his back when he felt guilty over laughing. It felt nice. All in all, learning how to swim with Atsushi was fun.

When it was time to get up, Dazai kicked some water in a surprised Atsushi’s face. It took a couple of seconds before he retaliated, and soon they were in the middle of an intense water fight. With no crowned victor, but laughing and not a hair that wasn’t soaking wet, they climbed up the rocks to let their bodies dry.

Dazai laid down on a smoother rock, Atsushi followed, cleaned it of leaves and dirt before collapsing on it. Facing the sun, it’s wasn’t cold. More like pleasantly cool.

They shouldn’t lay so close to one another; the rock was big enough for space in-between and the water on their skin wouldn’t dry any faster with Atsushi’s shoulder pressed against Dazai’s, his arm against his and pinkies almost laying over each other.

Dazai wouldn’t give this moment away for anything. No matter how precious or powerful.

...

 Dazai sat in his temple. The work was tedious and boring but he made it in silence with only a few breaks that was spent gazing out at the sky.

It had been weeks since that day at the river.

When Dazai returned to his realm, the work had piled up and Kunikida was worked up in a frenzy. Dazai worked through it all alarmingly fast, but more things came his way. After two weeks Dazai considered skipping out on a meeting and visit Yosano’s woods instead.

He couldn’t stop thrumming his fingers against the table, he felt tired and annoyed and had probably scared the servants out of their wits with the dark expression he wore when he didn’t think of schooling it to something else.

How dependable on him have you become? The voice in his head urgently whispered. Being like this makes you weak.

Dazai clicked his tongue and prepared to go see Atsushi the very next day.

He came to the line where the village’s fields ended and the woods started, then he abruptly turned around.

If I go in there now, Dazai frantically thought, I won’t be able to go back.

In the realm, Dazai took on some more work, shocking Kunikida enough that he wondered if Dazai had become possessed, and didn’t leave his temple for another three weeks.

Then he gave up. His head heart and the strange familiarity of his realm was driving him mad.

He ignored his usual way of walking through the woods, shifting until his arms were wings that let him glide through the air. He landed just a couple of metres from where the trees parted to give way for the old cottage and almost didn’t have time shifting back.

“Dazai-san?”

Atsushi had dark circles under his eyes, and Dazai didn’t have time to take on step before Atsushi had crossed the distance between them and thrown himself in Dazai’s arms.

With the contact several weeks of difficulties and doubt just disappeared. Dazai pressed over Atsushi’s waist and back, pulling him as close as possible. He buried his head in his neck and breathed in. Atsushi dropped his head on Dazai’s shoulder, his breath shaky and heavy. When Dazai felt something wet soak through his shirt he raised his head, then immediately pushed their foreheads together when the space between them was just too big.

“What’s the matter?”

Atsushi sniffled and shook his head, tears trickling down his cheeks in a steady stream.

“I’m j-just happy that y-you came back.” He got out, and they were close enough for Dazai to rub their noses against each other.

Atsushi’s eyes were wide and bright yellow when looking up at him.

“I’m sorry,” Dazai whispered, and ran soothing fingers over Atsushi’s arms and back, “I’m sorry, Atsushi-kun, I always meant to return. I always want to return.”

Atsushi’s knees gave away and they both sank down to the ground, still holding on tight and with Atsushi’s head once again on Dazai’s shoulder. Dazai kept sliding his hands over the smooth planes of Atsushi’s body, stopping to feel along his spine, pretending not to notice Atsushi’s shudder.

They sat there until the sky turned darker and you could glimpse stars, and if a human boy kissed a stray god, only they would know.

 …

 Dazai was no stranger to frustration. But this itch under his skin made it hard to focus on anything else than the next possibility he had to sneak out. It is the kind of frustration that would make a normal man mad, Dazai believed. Indeed, his noble and patient self was to be praised.

(Atsushi’s kisses were soft and tender, a little insecurity that was overshadowed by the feelings in each press of his lips)

“Dazai-sama!” The messenger’s voice cut through whatever illusions wrapped around him, and Dazai looked down from his seat to see the wondering, nonplussed stares of the celestial beings under his jurisdiction.

“Continue.” Dazai made a gesture with his hand and the neat messenger hesitantly picked up where he’d dropped off.

“As I said, the people of the cities close to the Northern border are…”

It rains a lot close to that border, I wonder if Atsushi likes rain? Dazai zoned out again, picturing Atsushi with his head tipped back to meet the rain with a smile. Or he would shiver. Clothes too thin to protect from the cold.

Dazai leaned on one hand and unconsciously frowned, to the persons in the room’s growing unease.

I should get him a coat or something. Something warm. It’s usually quite warm in Yosano’s area this time of the year, but still…

The messenger tuned out, aware that he no longer held the god’s attention.

 …

 Kunikida, quite literally, tied him to his chair when the preparations for the spring celebration started.

“Work.” He hissed and gestured with his book, close and hard enough to almost poke out Dazai’s right eye. “You have, no matter how promiscuous and informal, a duty towards your followers. So you will sit here, receive their prayers and gifts, and you will look happy about it.”

Dazai sagged back in his chair and bemoaned his sad fate.

Three nights later he laid in Atsushi’s bed, pressed close with no barriers. They weren’t sleeping, instead they listened to the distant thunder and Dazai imagined it to be Kunikida raging when he found out about the doll sitting in his temple receiving the people’s prayers.

 …

 It was a visit like many others.

Atsushi had asked him to stay.

“Don’t go.” Whispered against his lips, and Dazai was weak.

He left light kisses over Atsushi’s collarbone, over his chest and down to his stomach, relishing in the healthy bulge just under his navel. He pressed one last kiss on a thigh and asked Atsushi what he wanted, what could he do?

Dazai had certainly done this before, yet his hands shook as he pressed them against scorching skin. The night outside the cottage felt light and fleeting. When morning came Dazai would have to leave. He displaces that piece of information the same time he buries his head under Atsushi’s shin and push his lips at the point where the pulse beats the hardest, and kisses it in tandem with his heartbeat.

Dazai-san,” Atsushi said instead of answering his question, cupped Dazai face and inched closer, “that first time I saw you, you were glowing.”

And there is such warmth in his eyes, in the colour on his cheeks.

“It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. I’m so happy that I got to know you.”

Dazai lets out a sharp breath, hugging Atsushi close and enjoying his warmth, his scent. It muffled the noise in his mind and relaxed his muscles.

“I love you.”

Ah, and there was that. Hearing it made his ears ring, a little. The response easy and well thought out yet impossible to say.

I love you.

I adore you.

To me, you seem like life itself, and that is dangerous for a god.

“You,” Dazai says instead, “I’ve never met anyone as stunning as you. Almost as soon as I met you I’ve…”

Atsushi sighed and finally hugged back. One hand clasped on Dazai’s back and the other tangled in his hair.

The night was young, the night was long. Never long enough. In the bright morning Dazai held Atsushi close. Cuddled together, they could ignore the world for a while, pretending they were the only ones there.

 …

 Kunikida found out. Finally. Regrettably. About time. When Dazai reached him Kunikida had already left, and Atsushi already stood in the door, looking at him with an unusually blank face.

“I’m-”

“You’re a god.” A question? No, an acknowledgment of facts.

Dazai nodded, anyway. Atsushi stared, he stared back. Waiting. Awaiting a reaction; a goodbye, tears, questions, anything, but Atsushi just met Dazai’s eyes, unblinking. Then he sighed and seemed to sag a little.

“Oh, gods.” He mumbled, and that is almost funny.

“I should’ve known,” he said and now it was Dazai’s turn to wonder, “you… being you, doing strange things, fantastic things-“

He stopped himself and shook his head, mumbling “never saw you pee or anything either.”

Dazai can’t really help laughing at that. “That’s what made you wonder? Not the flowers, the many visits, the glowing?”

Atsushi blushed, and it was so much better than the blank look he had before.

“I thought they were happy coincidences!”

Dazai chuckles but can’t help but wonder: what now? Atsushi seemed to think the same thing, because he pushed himself of the doorframe and entered the cottage.

“Let’s get inside, I still have some tea left from when your… friend… visited.”

Dazai felt something akin to hope echo in his chest and took a step closer. “You mean I can stay?”

“Of course, of course you can stay.” Atsushi reaches out and takes a hold of his hand, features softening into a familiar smile that was only a little smaller than usual.

“We’ll talk. About… about this and-“

“About what to do now?”

Atsushi nodded, and pulled Dazai in to serve him some tea. “Yes. About what to do now.”

  ...

 Legends, old stories mixed with new ones, says that one of the Eastern Gods; the one for the strays, the thieves, the cunning, and the intelligent keeps a familiar by his side. A great and powerful white tiger with glowing eyes and sharp teeth.

The legends don’t tell much about it, for there isn’t much written or remembered about the stray god either. But one thing is always mentioned.

And that is that you never see one without the other.

To pay worship to the sun is to pay worship to the moon.

[bakushous]

Hey @looking-for-stray-dogs! I’m your secret valentine from @dazatsu-valentine-exchange! >< A short Dazatsu fic and Happy Valentine’s Day  ❤ I'll be honest, I've never written Dazatsu before so this was a first, I'm a little afraid to give you this xD. (I really loved write this, I'm even planning to write another part haha) I hope you enjoy! <3

Also thanks to @itsclowreedsfault for beta!  savinglivessince 2k17    ♡

Title: Falling. Pairing: Dazai/Atsushi.

''I can wait, you know.''

When Dazai turned without a word he promised himself that if that feeling didn't go away he would take a chance, would Atsushi also keep his promise?

If you're still waiting, I'll be there, you know, at the bridge.

Although it was the simplest note Dazai wrote in life, it took him almost two hours to write, and another three to decide whether to go ahead with it. In the end, he put it under Atsushi’s door and went on without thinking whether this choice was right or wrong. Dazai could hide his feelings better than anyone, but the last months had been a real fight; sharing the same work place as Atsushi and pretending he didn't realize the way he was being stared at by those purple-yellow eyes.

Can I really do this?

Dazai didn't have to wait long to see Atsushi at a short distance from him, with the wind swaying the silver wicks and his face shining by the sunset. It didn't matter how many people were crossing the bridge at that moment, there was just one person he could see.

''If you knew everything about me, you wouldn't have shown up here...''

Dazai said that as an alert, as self-defense, expecting Atsushi to turn and run but the only thing he felt was a soft hand on his face.

''You don't have to tell me everything about your past. Being with me ... that's enough.''

When Atsushi said this there was no stability in his voice, much less in his hands touching Dazai's face, but those purple-yellow eyes were pure; a kind of purity he had never seen before. For the first time in life Dazai felt the real feeling of being on top of a cliff seconds before the fall, and the only thing he wanted to was fall for it.

I want this.

His words were strangled in his throat and though he didn't want to, he moved away from the touch and gripped the bars of the bridge unsteadily. With a deep sigh, Atsushi took two hesitant steps and closed his eyes, throwing his arms around Dazai's neck.

The sun is upside down and the time could stop just for this moment, it wasn't the first or second time he was falling from here, but surely that was different from any other, he wasn't alone anymore.

Seeing Atsushi above him trying desperately to reach him, Dazai couldn't help but smile. 

He’d waited too long; finally he was ready to be saved from that inevitable fall, without any doubts, he grabbed Atsushi's tie and pulled him into a kiss. Thirty seconds until the water? Probably less, that falling kiss could last for hours, and not even the terrible cold water could ruin that moment.

~

When Dazai dared to look at Atsushi after ten minutes of walking side by side, he looked like a wet furious kitten - arms crossed, silent as a statue and trembling in cold.

''Come on, Atsushi-kuun, are you angry with me? Are you? I swear I didn't plan this!''

''...''

''Atsushi-kuuun!''

Dazai ran forward and stopped a few steps in front of Atsushi with a sad face.

''You gonna dump me?''

''No...''

''Come here then.''

Putting on his best smile and opening his arms, he knew that even wet he was irresistible.

''Alright...''

In a quick movement, Dazai bent down, put Atsushi over his shoulder and ran off, drawing everyone's attention along the way.

''P-put me down! Where are you taking me?''

''You I'll see.''

Atsushi's only choice was to cover his flush face for all the way.

''The most romantic kiss anyone could have.''

For a week Dazai just couldn't stop talking about that kiss, even to strangers. At least for him that was the definition of romanticism - of course, he omitted the fact that the was an accident, though just the first fall. 

[milesgonzalomorales]

@solyongtherainbow, I’m your Dazatsu (very late) Valentine! I realize this is incredibly late, a little over a week so, but life got in the way and I really appreciate your patience. 

Second, I’d like to thank the lovely @purplemagicalgirl for beta-reading this piece. They always catch small mistakes and help greatly with my writing, and what’s more is that they’re a great friend. Thank you to @pengwenno for screaming about this fic with me and getting me to actually write instead of just talking about it. @magicalgirlmafu was also another amazing person who screamed over this fic and kept me entertained with cool art while I screamed about this. 

So the very first time I watched Shelter, I was overcome with so much sheer emotion and I cried until my stomach hurt. When I saw your prompts, I jumped at the opportunity to write a Dazatsu AU inspired by the amazing work of art that is Shelter. While writing this piece, I was reminded of the parallels it held to another Dazatsu piece that I wrote, so I did doubt whether the content I was writing was original or just a continuation, but I think it’s a distinct piece from my other works. 

I hope you enjoy ~

[purging-foxfire]

@justdoingweirdthings, I’m your Secret Valentine ~ I hope you like it!

Happy Valentine’s Day!!

Warning: It’s under R18, so safe~ As for warnings, there isn’t much but a drunk Dazai, and some and some curse words - Nothing too bad.

He miscalculated. Sighing deeply, he closed his brown eyes, trying to get the images out of his head, but he knew he wouldn’t succeed. How could he? There was just so… much blood. Too much. And then there were the dull eyes staring at him, searching for something in his own cold, brown eyes.

“D-Dazai-san?... I-I d-defeat- “ And then heavy coughs followed and there was more blood, and pained gaps echoed in his ears and - He needed to calm down. Seriously, it was all his fault, his crime, his sin. Chuckling he remembered the conversation he shared with his pupil, before… before everything happened. Atsushi told him he wanted to make him proud – he did. He did, but Dazai wished he didn’t, that he just would have run away, as everything got worse, as the fight turned into torture. Because then the boy wouldn’t spend his time in a hospital, bawling his eyes out, as he realized that he would never again be able to utter a sound. Dazai could clearly remember seeing wires everywhere. Yosano healed him well, but there were somethings even she couldn’t do and whilst Atsushi wasn’t in a deathly condition anymore… The sight of seeing him so valuable broke Dazai all over. So, he walked to the closest bar and drunk the living daylights out of himself, begging for everything only to be a bad, bad dream. But the second he came back to the agency, everyone had an upset look on their face, and he feared the worst. They quickly reassured him, that his pupil was still alive, breathing quite fine. And he sighed in relief, only to realize that the others still didn’t start working or eating sweets or doing something. “Why… are you looking at me like this?” he asked, feeling strangely scared. Then Yosano spoke up, her voice unusually gentle. “Dazai, Atsushi… he is fine, but… he lost his voice.” And he should have known, because he saw the deep wound on the boy’s throat. He really should have been fine, acting like everything was okay and reassuring the others. But he wasn’t fine, and his mask started to crumble after so many years. So, he closed his gaping mouth, turned around and got back to the bar. And now he was there, sitting at the counter, with a half full glass of something strong – probably whisky – and wishing that he would just die of alcohol poisoning. He wasn’t that lucky. After hours and hours of drinking he was thrown out, because the bar was closing. So, he walked aimlessly on the streets, until he ended up in front of the hospital, where Atsushi currently resided. He didn’t go in, couldn’t – it was too much for him. He walked away, not staring back at the building and that’s when he realized it. It hit him like a meteor and the pain was unbearable. Would he ever again be able to look at Atsushi? Dazai feared the answer, as he looked at the ground, his normally cold, knowing eyes filled with uncertainty. 

He woke up with a soundless scream. Even though it didn’t produce sounds, it was strong enough to pierce his throat with an unbearable pain. And then the noise of something akin to coughing filled the room – it shocked him. He didn’t remember coughing like that, didn’t recognize the noise and definitely didn’t like that kind of pain. What happened? He slowly tried to sit up, as he realized that he laid on something soft. White. Everything was white. And then his eyes widened, memories came crashing through his mind, filling him with everything that happened in the past hours. He remembered the knife, he remembered green eyes, he remembered his mentor’s order. Right, his throat has been cut with a knife. How was he still alive? Rushing steps echoed outside the room, and the door was opened in a haste. Yosano stood there, purple eyes looking at him with mild concern and relief. “You’re awake. How… how are you feeling?” It was a dreaded question, he realized through the tone of her voice and the careful way she spoke. Yosano didn’t want to ask but had to. And he tried to answer, tried to say something, to tell her he was okay. Only to realize that he wasn’t, because there was no sound coming out of his mouth. It left him somehow empty and that’s when he noticed how hard the doctor was gripping the door handle. She is suffering just as much… And then Atsushi looked into her purple eyes and smiled gently. He wanted to open his mouth and assure her that he was okay, but he couldn’t. So, he had to do it in another way. Yosano closed her eyes at his smile, but stopped gripping the handle and that was everything he needed to know that she was going to be okay. Some minutes later, she left, telling him that she would come check upon him later. Once she closed the door, Atsushi’s smile slowly fell and he started to shake. Now where Yosano wasn’t there to see, he stopped pretending to be fine, and realization hit him hard. There was nothing fine. Tears poured down his cheeks, and he wanted so badly to scream, but his eyes started to develop a burning sensation and he closed them, grasping the white blankets. It hurt. It hurt. It pained him to know, that he never would be able to utter a word, say a sentence, communicate through speaking with other people. That he would need to change his life and adjust to another lifestyle - but he was okay with that. Agency members and even Akutagawa visited him and told him, in their own wicked ways, to get better. And it reminded him that he had worse, that he survived once and that he could survive a second time for sure. Though the pain still didn’t fully go away. Especially, as he noticed that among of all his visitors, a suicidal man failed to show up.

- 3 Days Later -

He realized that Dazai Osamu was the best at running away. It wasn’t unexpected, as Atsushi understood how the man tried to hold a specific distance to his own emotions or anything unknown to him. Really, Dazai was known for being emotionless and fearless, but in truth he was just good at ignoring his feelings, and preparing himself for everything, to the point he had enough knowledge to know what would happen next and how everything would turn out. It still hurt to know, that the man decided Atsushi simply wasn’t worth it, to stop running away and face the pain. He wasn’t exactly sure why his mentor didn’t want to visit him. Of course, his mind took this chance as fast as it could, to bring his insecurities up once again. You’re even more useless than before, it seemed to whisper to him and he tried to remind himself that he wasn’t. But in the end those thoughts wouldn’t leave him alone. He heard the sound of a knock, and someone opened the door. The person walked to stand before him. It was Akutagawa. And it made him sigh in relief, if he were to be honest. How cruel his thoughts might have been, they wouldn’t have changed that fast. After all Akutagawa, besides Ranpo, was the only person, who wouldn’t treat him with much difference. Maybe that had to do with them still being partners. Everyone tried to sugarcoat everything in his presence, and treated him much too kindly, as if he couldn’t do anything by himself. It brought his insecurities to a new level and only Akutagawa and Ranpo seemed to know that fact, as they still treated him like before. “Has that suicidal idiot still not visited?” His partner’s voice startled him, and he looked up into the dark eyes of Akutagawa. Then the question registered in his mind and he shook his head softly. Atsushi noticed how the mafia member frowned at this. Maybe it was out of concern, or Akutagawa realized that his former mentor was running away. It was probably the latter, but it didn't matter either way, in the end Akutagawa would politely bid goodbye and leave him alone. And Atsushi would smile bitterly, and stare at the place his partner stood before, knowing the dark-haired boy only left, because he could see himself in Atsushi. All abandoned by Dazai, like an useless toy that no one needed anymore. And yet a part of him still hoped, that the person he respected so much, would come and tell Atsushi he did good, reassure him he was strong. Tell him the torture wasn't for nothing. But reality was as harsh as a punch in the face, he came to realize two days later, as he held a notebook and a pen. His new way to communicate with everyone else. Atsushi thought both were futile, as his brown-haired mentor failed to visit him just once.

Dazai Osamu wasn't supposed to sit in a bar. Dazai Osamu wasn't supposed to look like someone killed his puppy (not that it would have affected him that much, really). Dazai Osamu wasn't supposed to drink himself unconscious, like he did. There was some much wrong about that sight, and he couldn't stand it. It pissed him off. So Chuuya did the only thing he could think of. He threw a bottle at the bandage-wasting device's face, wishing that he would just fall over dead. And by the way Akutagawa's eyes lit up, he approved. His dark blue eyes observed how that bastard flew from his chair, followed by the sound of glass breaking and suddenly he felt so, so much better. Maybe the day wouldn't end bad, despite having seen that asshole's face. Then, minutes later he looked at the empty brown eyes and wondered what exactly happened in the past days, that Dazai tried to drink himself to death and that the brat, Akutagawa, felt the need to show him that scene. "Asshole," he greeted. "What the hell are you doing, wasting away in some fucking bar?" That bastard only blinked, and then muttered, "Unimportant." Apparently, that was the last straw to the brat's nerves, as Rashoumon was shoving his former partner against a wall. "You," Akutagawa hissed, "are going to pay that idiot a visit. I'm tired of your shit." And by the way his voice sounded, he really was. And then Chuuya realized something. He remembered rumors about a murderer with green eyes and the ability to use sharp objects in many, many different ways. He remembered a boy with messy hair and sunset-colored eyes. Punching that bandage-wasting bastard, felt like heaven. Looking at the blood pouring down the bastard’s face, the mafia executive nodded to himself, feeling a bit satisfied by his work. “Why?” The idiot found the decency to ask. And it made Chuuya sigh and wonder how he survived a partnership with that emotionless pile of shit. Had that idiot not learnt one or two things about feelings, once he joined that godforsaken agency? “Asshole,” he said, trying to refrain himself for ordering some alcohol, and ignoring the whole situation. “You really need to stop being a robot.” “Stupid, that doesn’t answer my question…,” the agency member muttered. Chuuya raised an eyebrow at him, wondering how wasted his former partner really was. “Not my problem. In the end the answer is anyway something, you should find out for yourself.” Then he turned around, like the grace he was and walked away, to stop in the middle of the room. “Go visit that tiger of yours. He probably has the answers. And don’t get too wasted! Killing you won’t be fun, if you don’t feel anything.” With that he exited the bar, leaving behind a stunned mafia member and a madly chuckling agency member.

“Didn’t we tell you that he already left the hospital?” Dazai looked at Ranpo, smirking slightly. “I was too drunk to realize.” “Idiot,” scoffed the detective, but then he started grinning slyly. “The room is still not cleaned.” And with a knowing gaze, the childish man left him alone, before the door of his pupil’s former room. “It isn’t?” he wondered, opening the door and walking in. “How fortune for me.” Looking at the white room, and the used sheets he pondered how Atsushi must have felt, spending one week in here, unable to speak and all alone. How he must have felt without mentor, without the one person he admired. Dazai opened the window and enjoyed the breeze entering the room. He closed his eyes, wondering where he did go wrong. And slowly he started doubting his decision to ignore his pupil. He was indirectly the reason Atsushi was mute after all. But could he still interact with Atsushi, fix the whole mess, knowing the consequences of these actions? Could he afford to look at the boy, whilst thoughts and feelings that shouldn’t exist, lingered in the back of his mind? No, he couldn’t. But that was his brain’s answer, his heart screamed something completely other – Yes, he could. And he would. One day later he stood before Atsuhi’s apartment, knocking on the door. There was no reason to ring the bell, Atsushi would understand.

Getting back to work without a voice was… unique, but passable. He had to tip people on the shoulder to get their attention, and there were some worried glances and offers for help (which he greatly despised, but luckily, there was Ranpo, reminding everyone that Atsushi wouldn’t die of doing his paperwork. Also, Kunikida slowly started to realize, that Atsushi could handle everything more or less), but in the end nothing much changed. He still could do his paperwork. He still did Dazai’s paperwork, whilst that guy was missing (though if he believed the rumors, that guy was wasting away in some bar). In fact, the only things that changed were his sign language lessons by Ranpo (that guy had a lot diverse hobbies and skills) and the continued use of a notebook as communication. It was annoying, but at least his grammar improved greatly. At the end of the day, he lived one as if nothing changed and continued to smile, used to the change. But that was at the agency. In his apartment where he was alone, things were a lot different. In the end, he still couldn’t cope with the loss of his voice, but he cared too much about the others to mope about it. Whenever he wanted to cry, there was someone reminding him, that they were suffering too. But there was no one in his apartment. So, he spent his time there, wondering if he deserved that fate. A part of him screamed yes, another was unsure. And a small voice in the back of his mind asked him where his stupid mentor was and shouted that he should be there, comforting Atsushi. It was the lovesick part of him, that still hasn’t gotten over the fact, that his mentor clearly didn’t love him. At nights he would look at the starry sky, while writing things down in his notebook to practice. He didn't learn how to write in the orphanage and whilst the agency taught him as good as they could, Atsushi still had problems with the grammar. He sighed as he looked at the words written in his book. I hate you, Dazai... stop running away, idiot. (He was a lovesick tiger.) Then he heard the knocking on the door and closed the notebook, as he stood up to open the door. And a part of him wished he didn't.

Both sat in the living room, unsure what to do. It frustrated Dazai even more. He came here to talk, to apologize, but he just couldn't bring himself to say anything. Because he knew Atsushi wouldn't be able to respond (and he was at fault). He had seen the look in Atsushi's eyes, as he opened the door. Dazai was unwelcome (and yet he stayed). Then he heard the sound of quiet scratching. Atsushi was writing something. As his pupil - Was he still his pupil? - finished, he shoved the notebook into his arms. Dazai blinked at the words written on it, unconsciously bitting his lip. You're really cruel, Dazai-san. Gently, he took the pen out of the other's hands and started to write a reply, before returning the book. I know. He didn't glance at Atsush, he couldn't. Seconds later the book was back in his hands. Use your voice, Dazai-san. Because I can't, was left unspoken. But Dazai didn't, only shook his head, as he closed his eyes. He couldn't speak, he feared it. How must Atsushi feel whenever he heard som- no, Dazai speak? Knowing that he couldn't. Suddenly, the book was on his lap and he opened his eyes, too scared of the words he would read. And he was right. Please That word stood there all alone and yet it broke him. He must have begged so much, a voice whispered in his mind. He must have begged so much for the pain to stop. And without a warning tears started to pour his cheeks down. All his walls torn apart. "I'm sorry, Atsushi!" he screamed. "I'm so sorry!" But the boy only shook his head, before writing something down. Then he held up the notebook and Dazai's hazel eyes widened at the words standing there. You have a beautiful voice, Dazai-san. It's very soothing, so please continue to use it. For a moment he starred, letting the silence surrounded them, but then he spoke up, determination in his eyes. And he told Atsushi the tale of his thoughts, of his visits to some bar, of Akutagawa and Chuuya's concern (more or less). He told him of everything.

Hours later Atsushi feel asleep, snuggled into his mentor's secure embrace. Atsushi was practically made of warmth and Dazai couldn't be happier with the chance to be that close to the boy. But everything had to wait. His desires, Atsushi's desires and everything they wished for had to wait a bit longer. Atsushi's mind was not stable enough, and neither was his. Both still had to struggle with fears and worries, and it would take awhile. But, he thought, his hazel eyes glancing at the sleeping boy, I don't mind waiting the eternity, as long as I'm with you. And something told him, that the other made the same promise. A promise which would be fulfilled after spring passed, after summer passed, after autumn passed and after winter passed. But for now they would be fine with warm hugs and little pecks on the forehead and on the cheek, as they spend their evening, sorting their problems out, whilst drinking coffee and warm chocolate. Together. The three scared words, could continue to reside in their minds for awhile. (I love you.)

[magicalgirlmafu]

Surprise! @dazushix Im your Dazatsu Valentines gifter, heres some Dazatsu fluff for you, I hope you enjoy it and have a happy Valentines day! ♡ඩ⌔ඩ♡

[solyongtherainbow]

Puzzle - A Dazatsu Fanfic

Heeeey @harashins​! I’m your @dazatsu-valentine-exchange gifter! Sorry, this is a bit late and tbh I don’t think it’s that great :P But I hope you enjoy it nonetheless! :)

Pairing: Dazatsu

Rating: G

Other places to read: AO3

Summary: Dazai actually did a serious suicide attempt....and it almost succeeded. Atsushi wondered what was the reason behind it was.

~~~~~~~

Atsushi couldn’t believe it. Dazai had done another of his suicide attempts, but this time, he was going to the Agency’s emergency room. He had also left three notes. One for the ADA, one for the Port Mafia, and one for Atsushi.

About 2 hours later, Yosano came out. She couldn’t use her ability on Dazai because of his ability, but she was still a professional doctor. “Yosano-sensei, what’s his condition?” Yosano looked at her clipboard.

“It appears that he tried to commit suicide through drug overdose and hanging. The motive is unknown. We found him in time, so he will recover eventually. But we should send him to a therapist, or at the least, have him talk to someone, a short while after he awakens.”

“Damn!” Kunikida slammed his fist on the table. “If only we’d listened to Ranpo-san more seriously…” Atsushi remembered Ranpo’s words.

“Everybody, come here a moment.” After Dazai had left for a case with Kyouka one morning, Ranpo called the Agency over. “What is it, Ranpo-san?”

“....I don’t know how to put this into words….but something about Dazai seems off recently.” Yosano looked at him. “What do you mean?”

Ranpo was silent for a moment.

“It feels like…. he’s being dragged into a black hole.” They all listened closely. Suddenly, Ranpo seemed to realize something. He stared straight at Atsushi. “Atsushi-kun. I can’t help him on this one. Only you can.” “M-m-me?” Atsushi was shocked. “Why me?”

“...You’ll find out eventually. I….Even with my smarts, I can’t do emotional stuff like this…I’d only make it worse.” Ranpo’s usual confidence seemed to disappear for a moment.

“I’m counting on you, Atsushi-kun.”

But what did he mean? Sitting in the Agency, late at night, Atsushi was still thoroughly confused.

But nobody could figure out what the meaning behind that message was.

After a moment of silence, Yosano stood up. “Well, there’s no use in just sitting around. You guys should all go home and get some rest.” Everybody nodded and stood up.

As they all filed out the door, Yosano pulled Atsushi back. “You stay here for the night with me.” Just in case. Out of all the people here, she knew Ranpo the best, plus Atsushi didn’t want to fail Ranpo.

So he grabbed a blanket, laid down on a couch, and settled in for the night.

~~~~~~~~~

(Dazai’s POV)

Dazai was falling. He was falling from a high tower. What….is going on? Dazai knew, he had tried to commit suicide. Maybe this was his eternal punishment in the land of the dead?

Then suddenly, Atsushi appeared. He was at the top of the building, throwing a rope to him in a panic. He seemed to be genuinely concerned about Dazai.

It was odd. He felt fear, because he was falling. But at the same time, an unusual sense of satisfaction overcame him. So this is death….

~~~~~~

Early the next morning, Yosano woke Atsushi up. “He’s awake. Why don’t you go talk to him?” Atsushi rubbed his eyes. “Is there anything I should avoid?”

Yosano’s eyes lit up. I get Ranpo-san now. “All I have to say is, don’t be wishy-washy. Other than that, you’re free.” She walked away to get the Agency ready for the day.

Atsushi was confused. ‘Don’t be wishy-washy?’ And why was Yosano-sensei suddenly so relaxed?

He got up. “I don’t think I can do this…” Yosano turned around. “What are you talking about? You’re the only one who can.” She smiled.

~~~~~

Atsushi entered the infirmary. “Excuse me, Dazai-san.” “Oh, it’s you, Atsushi-kun! Come sit down.” Atsushi did as he was told.

“So..um..how are you feeling?” Dazai looked on for a moment, confused. Then he said, “Oh, I’m good as I can possibly be right now!” and smiled.

Ranpo-san was right. Something’s off. Atsushi looked at Dazai. In that moment, Atsushi could tell that Dazai saw him in a new light, different from the one before.

“Dazai-san…” “What is it?” Dazai looked curious, and in fact he was. “Um….” What should I say? Then he remembered Yosano sensei’s words. “Don’t be wishy-washy.”

“Dazai-san, I’m going to get straight to the point. Why did you do it?” Dazai was startled. “Atsushi-kun, what do you mean?” “You know what I mean. Why did you try to commit suicide?” “Did you read my note?” “I did. But why?” Atsushi said in a pained voice.

Atsushi held up the short note. Atsushi-kun, I hope you and Akutagawa-kun can get along.“What does this mean?” “Exactly what it means, Atsushi-kun. Soukoku wouldn’t exist anymore if I had succeeded. You and Akutagawa-kun needed to keep the peace.”

“But, Dazai-san, that’s not…” “What are you trying to say?” Dazai looked at Atsushi with a kind face.

It might have been just a mask, it was that kind of expression on Dazai that Atsushi remembered when Dazai had practically saved his life.

This is going to be hard. But I have to do it. Dazai-san has done so much for me. I have to repay him back in some way.

Atsushi tried again. “Dazai-san, you and Chuuya-san are fine enough as a team. Why are you suddenly leaving such a huge responsibility to Akutagawa and I?” “Atsushi, we’re not that great of a team.” “You two defeated an entire organization in one night.” “That was way back then.” “You could still do it.” “Double black (small)’s rank in the mafia is slowly getting higher. We won’t be able to fight together much longer.” “That’s the same case with Akutagawa and I.”

“Atsushi, listen to me. I have to leave this to you. You’re the only one who can.” Atsushi head the meaning behind that. Atsushi, you’re the only one that can follow in my footsteps.

But why now? That was the one question Atsushi had. Why now? Why would he just leave this to me all of a sudden? Why…. “Why did you just decide to leave now?” “Huh?”

Crap. I said that out loud. Atsushi bit his fingernail. “Atsushi-kun, do you mean as to why I decided to commit suicide? You already asked me that.” Dazai looked at him.

“Well, that’s not what I- um...How do I put this…” He scratched his head. “Dazai-san, Akutagawa and I have barely any training. I get why you would trust Akutagawa, but why do you have so much trust in me?”

Dazai looked nervous. His face turned slightly pink. “Dazai-san? Are you alright?” Atsushi seemed to be genuinely worried. Dazai smiled.“That’s the face. That’s the face I fell in love with in.” Atsushi himself turned slightly pink. “Huh?”

“That genuine face...there’s no lies, no mask, just pure emotion. That’s...something I never got to see in the Mafia.” Dazai shook his head. “It seems like you’re determined to find out why, Atsushi-kun. So I’ll tell you why.”

“I...didn’t know what to do.” Dazai-san, who always knows what to do? Atsushi listened closely. “When I fell in love with you...I didn’t know what to do. I’ve never felt something like that. I thought it was another lie, a ruse made up to hide a different emotion that I already knew. I thought it was just another mask.”

“I thought my emotions were lying to me. Just the fact that my own emotions betrayed me...that was enough to drive me to insanity.”

“I mean, Atsushi...Is it a fantasy that I should think, someone like you could love a creep like me?” Atsushi was shocked. “What? Why would you say that?” Dazai looked down at the white hospital bedsheets. “I mean,....I’m insane, immature, untrustworthy, and on top of all that… suicidal. Are you sure you want to fall in love with someone like that?”

Atsushi thought about that for a moment with a grim expression. Dazai’s usual charisma had disappeared, leaving a man who physically was an adult, but in reality, his heart had missed some of the pieces needed to become one. He was still a child in some ways. How should I deal with this…? Then it came to him.

“Dazai-san, you may be those things, but I have no problem being in love with you.” “...What?”

“You have those faults, but there’s so much more to you than just that. You’re more confident than I could ever be, you know just what to do in tight situations, and you’re… hot.” Atsushi’s entire face turned red.

Dazai laughed. “Hot? Why, thank you, Atsushi. But you’re making no sense. The first two…” he said, shaking his head, “Aren’t true.” Atsushi looked at him straight in the eye. “Maybe not all of the time, but that’s what I’m here for.”

“Dazai-san, you and I are like two pieces of a puzzle. We may be deformed in some places, but when put together, we can form a beautiful picture. Humans alone aren’t perfect, but that’s why there are so many of us.”

“Dazai-san, I want to create a beautiful picture with you. Would you be willing to help me once more?”

Dazai looked up at him. He smiled at Atsushi’s beautifully honest, innocent, and genuine face. Dazai nodded. “I’d love to.”

/Toushirou Hitsugaya (Bleach) We are all like fireworks. We climb, shine, and always go our separate ways and become further apart. But even if that time comes, let's not disappear like a firework. Let's continue to shine... Forever./

[da1rym1lk]

Surpriseee!~ @youraveragegamergirl I am your Valentine! :3 Like I said before, I had a few issues, sorry ;c But I made this for you, and I’m sorry if it wasn’t enough!! Thank you for being so patient!<3

[ephedilia]

a case of you

pairing: dazai/atsushi words: 830 summary: It’s cherry flower season in Yokohama.

notes: for the dazatsu valentine exchange! hi, @pinkcupofcherrytea! i’m your secret valentine! hope you enjoy the day! i used two of your prompts but i hope you like this! inspired by this fanart.

“I think this would be a good spot. It isn’t so crowded.”

The sunlight passes through the sky and it’s too bright Dazai understands Kouyou’s reasons for never leaving the dark. Chatter fills the place, and he walks around the drunk salary folk and the kinder garden children. The air is fresh and rises his coat but it’s better than overwhelming heat, the first petals of spring are gorgeous.

But his attention is elsewhere.

The cherry blossoms fall under Atsushi’s hair. He looks enchanting, almost out of a fairy tale. There’s only gleam and joy in his soft smile and it’s easy to forget Kunikida’s rambles about the monthly budget when Atsushi looks up at him.

“Dazai-san?”

Dazai hums, eyebrows raised. “What is it?”

“You look lost in thought,” Atsushi says, unreproachful and clearly unaware of how beautiful he looks with the pink petals on his hair.

Dazai shrugs but he smiles. “Was I? I was thinking how breathtaking you look under this tree.”

Atsushi stares at him until his eyes turn soft. “No flirting in work hours.”

“My bad. But Kunikida-kun is too busy to pay attention.”

“Even if he was, you know better,” Atsushi laughs quietly.

Dazai lets out a dramatic sigh. “I guess, I do.”

I like watching you.

He thinks absently and begins to pass his fingers through silver hair, careful at placing the cherry blossom behind Atsushi’s ear. The park is lively and it’s almost imperceptible to hear his heartbeat, how his entire body feels ready to fall apart. Atsushi is beautiful. This, to Dazai, is nothing new but it’s a reassurance to never forget how breathtaking Atsushi is.

Dazai feels his smile turn lighter when Atsushi gasps under his touch and reaches for his fingers. He’s distracted in pink cheeks and sunset-colored eyes but Atsushi is still looking at him, and a surge of adoration rushes through him. His thumb goes down from the ear, and he hears another gasp, this one slower, conflicted and Dazai wants to laugh but it’s obvious the situation will dry up if he attempts the lowest chuckle. He gets to the cheek and, in that instant, he lets everything halt to a stop.

Atsushi’s breath hitches.

Slowly, Atsushi relaxes from the touch and leans in. His rational side tells Dazai to not mess this up, to not move too brusquely because the idea of being touched with kindness is so shocking for Atsushi and he respects that. But another part of him – the one that loves taking advantage of Kunikida – stiffens a giggle, the beginning of a prank ready to get out and it’s that urge which wins over the other and keeps him from meeting lips inches from his own.

“’No flirting in work hours’,” Dazai repeats.

Atsushi comes to a stop and he narrows his eyes at him. His cheeks glow under the light that passes through the trees. “Now, that’s unfair.”

“That’s not my fault, Atsushi-kun. You started it.”

Atsushi glares at him. His stare resembles Kunikida’s and he laughs softly before his arms wrap lovingly around the younger boy. For a second, Dazai wants nothing but hold unto Atsushi and never let go, cling into the warmth and sunshine that irradiates from him. Almost imperceptibly, Atsushi relaxes under his touch and Dazai is unsurprised when his voice has a harmless, tender timbre.

“I’m sorry. Please, forgive me?”

“Do you mean it?” Dazai feels proud at the scepticism.

“I always mean it with you.”

Atsushi stays silent and then, he raises up his head and smiles at him. Everything about the gesture is soaking with affection. Dazai passes a hand through pale hair and ponders if his tiger paws are as soft, they must be, he doesn’t know. He makes them disappear at any opportunity. Wearing gloves would solve the problem. But he likes to feel Atsushi under his fingertips and bask into the light.

“What are you thinking?” Atsushi asks, softer than usual. He almost hesitates but Dazai decides for the truth – the closest.

“Here and there. But if you’re asking for something in specific, I was distracted.”

Atsushi squeezes his hand.

It’s for a brief pause but Dazai wonders if Atsushi can read his mind. The rusty, corrosive vision with grey, black-white shades, the smell of smoke, rotten bodies and blood, and the subtle click of glasses. It’s a second too long and he feels another squeeze and Atsushi’s warm smile.

“Anyways,” Dazai says. “I thought of bringing Kyouka-chan one of those sweets she likes. What do you think? Kunikida-kun will take a while before we settle down.”

Atsushi nods and the topic is left behind.

He knows it’s not forgotten and Dazai thinks how he will be able to tell Atsushi about the life he had before meeting him.

“It sounds nice,” Atsushi says and he talks like it’s nothing unusual, “I would love to go with you.”

Dazai lets out a breezy laugh and turns around to face Atsushi.

“Let’s go.”

[weretigerkun]

and miles to go before i sleep

hello, @pengwenno​, i’m your valentines gifter! i hope you enjoy some quiet, late-night dazatsu, because the vibe your prompts gave off were very lovely. also, have a wonderful day!

dazai/atsushi

established relationship, dreams and nightmares, mention of suicide

Atsushi wakes, blinking as his hands brush nothing but blankets. Outside, rain patters on, buzzes and echoes through the small room. It’s still too dark to see anything, but a single sliver of light comes in from the windows. Atsushi squints his eyes, makes out the silhouette of a man looking out into the distance.

Dazai-san, he wants to call out. But his throat is too dry, and his lips move without a sound.

Read on AO3.

[dazatsu-exchange]

Welcome to Dazatsu Valentine’s Exchange! A new year begins and with it, we’re now here to celebrate the day of love. Take out your best romance tactics. How about some roses, hm? Apps are open!

What’s an exchange?

An event where you’ll create a gift for someone and get one yourself. Works and creators stay a secret until the day of the reveal, on Valentine’s!

Schedule:

Jan. 7 ~ Jan 14 |  Apps are open

Jan. 15 | Apps close @ 00:00 EST

Jan. 16 | Match-ups sent

Jan. 16 ~ Fev. 10 | Creation period

Feb. 10 | Works are submitted to the mods 

Feb. 14 |  Works posted and revealed

Discord server:

Since the exchange is also being held on Twitter, our “main hub” we’ll be Discord. We’ll have a server to communicate with each other, plus assignments, check-ins and the preliminary submission (Dec. 16) will all be done through DMs on Discord. You can’t use Discord for any reason? Don’t worry, you’ll still be able to participate, you only need to inform how I can reach you for the course of the event!

All participants will receive an invite to the server after signing up.

General rules:

All works must be Dazatsu-centered.

This is a SFW event, so graphic content is not allowed.

Promoting bigotry will get you banned from the event.

All works must be original and created specifically for this event. They also should be finished pieces.

You must post your work to either Tumblr or Twitter on Valentine’s Day (Feb. 14).

Writers must write at least 1k words, in comprehensive English. Artists must have a finished, fully colored piece (sketches and rough drawings are out of question).

Detailed guidelines and application form are both linked in the blog’s description. If you have any questions, feel free to contact me.

[oceansunsets]

title: a gift, just for you (4,1k)

pairing: atsushi nakajima/dazai osamu (bsd)

tags: valentine’s day, gift giving, dazai asks for advice (shocker), dazai shows that he’s actually rich

rating: general audiences

summary:

dazai makes a plan to give atsushi the best gift he possibly could, after the weretiger left him speechless with a bouquet of flowers

this is my @dazatsu-exchange gift to @endlessparadox07 !! decided to post it here as well <3

ao3 link here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/37116982

Dazai Osamu was stumped.

It was odd to consider, as usually he knew what to do for practically everything. He wasn’t as smart as Ranpo - he could never compare to Ranpo’s smarts - but he was still pretty intelligent and well respected in the Armed Detective Agency. Well…maybe respected wasn’t the right word. Some workers did look up to him, but others were aware of how mischievous he often acted.

Putting that aside and focusing back to the point: he was stumped. Why was he stumped? Well, because Atsushi had given him a thank you gift and he was determined to return the favor.

But what could he possibly give Atsushi in return?

He didn’t want to overwhelm him, but he also didn’t want to get something cheap. He wanted to get something that would last for a while and that Atsushi would be able to hold onto for a long time.

Not to mention that Valentine’s Day was right around the corner!

Dazai was determined to make Atsushi’s day, no matter what it took. But first, he just needed to get some advice…

~

“You want…advice on what to get Atsushi-kun?” Yosano sounded confused, staring at Dazai with a raised eyebrow. He didn’t usually come to her for advice on this sort of stuff. Whenever he planned things, it was always in secret and no one ever knew what was going on until it was already happening.

“I know it may be really odd to hear me of all people asking for advice, but it’s really important and I have to know before at least the fourteenth.”

Yosano still seemed suspicious. “How am I supposed to trust that you aren’t going to do something really mean to Atsushi-kun, or to the rest of us?”

Dazai whined, pouting at Yosano. He felt betrayed, but at the same time it made sense that Yosano was hesitant. If he ever asked for help, it was mostly to prank someone. However, this time was different and he needed Yosano to understand he was being serious.

“I know it’s hard to trust me on this,” he started, sighing and leaning against the counter, “but I’m serious about needing help. I don’t plan on pulling any pranks, I just want to make Atsushi-kun happy.”

Yosano studied him, only looking away to restock her items. She considered his words, closing the cabinet and turning to face him.

“Well, you said you need a plan before the fourteenth, right? Why not offer to take him out to dinner at a place he’s always wanted to go to?” She shrugged. “Or maybe you could get him a stuffed animal and some sweets? He always seems happy to get those.”

Dazai considered those ideas. He could surprise Atsushi by taking him out to dinner, but that wasn’t something he could hold, and he wanted to actually hand a gift to Atsushi. The stuffed animal and sweets could work, although he would have to do more digging to figure out what would be best…

After a moment of thinking, he decided he would have to ask more people. At least he was one step closer to figuring things out.

“Thanks, Yosano-sensei, I’ll keep your ideas in mind!” He waved to the doctor, moving away from the counter and walking over to the door to her office. He opened it, then turned to look at Yosano again. “I’ll be sure to inform you on if things go bad or not! Buh-bye~”

The door closed behind Dazai as he left, narrowly avoiding his coat getting caught in the doorway. Yosano shook her head fondly as she watched him leave, sighing.

She hoped Atsushi appreciated whatever Dazai gave him.

~

Over the next few days, Dazai made various different plans, each one depending on how Atsushi reacted to being asked out to dinner on Valentine’s Day. If he accepted, then Dazai would bring him to a nearby restaurant that sold chazuke and proceed from there. If he declined but didn’t have any other plans, then Dazai would ask if he just wanted to hang out at home. If he declined and had other plans, then the subject would be dropped and Dazai would continue on with his day.

It was currently the thirteenth, just a few minutes away from lunch.

Dazai was leaning back in his chair, avoiding the paperwork on his desk as always, instead deciding to look around the office, his gaze soon landing on a certain weretiger.

Atsushi had his gaze focused on the computer in front of him, typing up reports to missions he had done over the week, occasionally pressing the backspace to fix any errors. He stuck his tongue out a small bit, as he usually did when he was really focused. Dazai found it cute.

Once lunch break started, Dazai got up, his hands in his pockets as he made his way over to Atsushi’s desk. “Oh, Atsushi-kun~”

He watched as sunset-colored eyes lifted from the computer screen to focus on him, blinking in confusion. “Yes, Dazai-san? Do you need something?”

Ah, Atsushi was so cute…

“Lunch break started,” Dazai pointed out, taking his hand out of his pocket to jab his thumb towards the clock, showing how a new hour had started, “and I was wondering if you’d like to go down to Uzumaki with me. I’ll pay.”

A frown formed on Atsushi’s lips as he studied Dazai. “But, you never have any money on you…please don’t tell me you’re going to steal Kunikida-san’s wallet again.”

“I’m so wounded, Atsushi-kun!” Dazai whined, pouting at his subordinate. “You have such little faith in me! I was going to use my own money this time, I swear!”

Atsushi still didn’t seem very convinced, but gave in either way, moving to stand up after saving his progress. “I’ll believe you when I see it happen,” he shook his head, closing his laptop for now. “Will it be just us, or is someone else coming along?”

Dazai tilted his head, as if thinking about his answer, although he was already very well aware of what that answer was. He didn’t want anyone else tagging along, especially when he had a very important question for Atsushi.

“Just us!” He finally answered, grinning at the weretiger. “What, do you not want to spend some time with your oh so wonderful mentor?”

The look he got in return was great, and he half wished he could take a picture of how unamused Atsushi was. It was very cute, although he was sure Atsushi would’ve immediately disagreed if he said that out loud.

“No, that’s not it…” Atsushi shook his head. “Nevermind. Lead the way.”

Dazai grinned, leaving the office with Atsushi, heading downstairs to the cafe. Once there, he opened the door for Atsushi, gesturing for him to go in first. “Kitties go first~”

Atsushi playfully rolled his eyes, walking into the cafe and waving at the owner. Dazai made sure to close the door behind him as he followed Atsushi inside, happily strolling over to one of the empty booths.

There weren’t very many people in the cafe, which was pretty normal for this time on a weekday. Either way, it was a very peaceful environment, perfect for calm talks and lunch breaks.

“So,” Dazai spoke as Atsushi was in the middle of looking through the menu, causing the weretiger to look up at him with a confused look, “do you have anything planned for tomorrow? It’s a pretty special day, after all.”

“Special day?” Atsushi repeated, only looking even more confused as he shifted to pull his phone out to check the date, blinking. “Oh, right. Valentine’s Day… I was just going to stay at home tomorrow. Don’t really see any point in doing anything…”

Dazai brightened up at that. Perfect. Atsushi didn’t have any plans.

“How would you like to go out to dinner with me, in that case?”

“...Eh?”

The look on Atsushi’s face was priceless. His cheeks and ears gained a red tint to them, and his eyes became wide while staring at Dazai. “I- you…you mean as…as co-workers, right?”

Dazai waved his hand around, tilting his head. “Maybe I do, maybe I don’t. It’d be fun, wouldn’t it? Just the two of us, going out for some yummy dinner on Valentine’s Day…”

“But…” Atsushi bit his lip, shifting in his seat, the red tint to his skin never leaving, “wouldn’t people mistake us for being a couple…? I mean, especially if it’s just the two of us… aren’t you worried about that? And besides, wouldn’t you rather spend that day with…with some girl?”

Ah. Right.

Dazai has never told Atsushi that he’s bisexual. Of course he would assume that he’d rather be with a woman.

“I’m not worried about it if you aren’t,” he shrugged, finding no reason to worry about the possibility of strangers perceiving them as a couple. If they did, there was nothing Dazai or Atsushi could do to stop them.

Atsushi bit down on his lip, still worrying about something. Was Dazai aware of how he felt for him? Is that why he was asking him out to dinner for Valentine’s? Did Ranpo tell him?

After a moment of thinking it over, Atsushi finally sighed, not looking at Dazai. “I…I don’t mind going to dinner with you. It should be fine, right? Even if it’s just the two of us…”

Dazai grinned, reaching across the table and resting a hand over Atsushi’s, giving it a reassuring squeeze before letting go. “Of course it’ll be fine! You have me around! What could possibly go wrong, Atsushi-kun?”

He ignored the slight eye roll from Atsushi when he said that. If things worked out as Dazai planned them, which they usually did, then everything would be perfectly fine.

~

February 14th

Dazai kept checking the time on his watch, spinning around in his office chair and occasionally whining to Kunikida about how bored he was. He didn’t want to be in the office when he had such big plans for tonight with Atsushi!

Speaking of…

He looked over at Atsushi, noticing how he was intensely focused on his computer, typing out reports and responding to emails. Dazai smiled to himself, finding Atsushi to be really cute when he was so focused on something. He made a small noise when feeling something bonk his head, turning to look at Kunikida, who was holding a rolled up newspaper.

“Get back to work and stop staring at your coworkers, Dazai.”

Dazai stuck his tongue out at Kunikida. “I’ve already finished my work, Kunikida-kun~ I’m just waiting to be freed! I have big plans tonight, y’know.”

“Sure you do. Knowing you, you’re going to laze around at home and get drunk.” Kunikida rolled his eyes, setting the newspaper down and turning his gaze back to his computer, ignoring Dazai’s whine at his words.

“You have no faith in me!” Dazai huffed, pouting. “I actually have a date, I’ll have you know. And the longer I’m stuck here means the less time I have to prepare!”

Kunikida raised an eyebrow, glancing at Dazai. “You have a date? Don’t tell me it’s some random woman who you’ll just break the heart of at the end of the night and leave her stranded.”

The loud whine that escaped Dazai in response to such words was enough to make Atsushi look up from his computer, blinking at Dazai and trying to figure out if something was wrong. If Dazai wasn’t focused on being a menace to Kunikida, he would’ve teased Atsushi for worrying about him.

Instead, he smiled at his subordinate, feeling his heart flutter when Atsushi smiled back.

Oh how he wished to see that smile more often, directed at him…

The rest of the day felt like it went by so slowly. Dazai so badly wanted to get out so that he could go on his date with Atsushi. Ah, right, did Atsushi even consider it a date? Or did he just consider it a friendly outing with his mentor?

Dazai really hoped he wasn’t the only one to see this as a date.

When work was finally over, Dazai practically bounced out of his chair and went over to Atsushi, tapping his shoulder to get his attention. He waited until Atsushi was looking up at him before he spoke.

“Dress in something nice.”

That’s all he said before turning and walking out of the office, coat swaying behind him. Leaving Atsushi to stare at his back, not even sure on how he was supposed to react.

Dazai headed home, digging his keys out of his coat pocket and unlocking the front door. He stepped inside, sliding his shoes off and closing the door behind him, letting out a sigh. He shrugged his coat off, hanging it up before walking further into the apartment, his gaze landing on a certain gift resting on his couch.

It was a simple gift, nothing too fancy, just a bag of candies with a tiger plush sitting on top, along with a card and some pictures that Dazai had printed out himself, covered by tissue paper. He had done his best to get something that Atsushi would like.

He had even asked Kyouka what she thought Atsushi would like, as long as she promised to keep the plan a secret. And so far, that has succeeded. All Atsushi knew was that they were going out for dinner and that was it. He didn’t know where Dazai would be taking him.

Dazai hopped into the shower to get nice and clean, making sure to wash his body really nicely. He wanted to look good for Atsushi, and besides this was the first time in a while that he actually had the energy to take care of himself.

Once out of the shower, he dried off, making sure there wasn’t any more water on his body before grabbing new bandages and wrapping his arms and neck. He hummed to himself while getting dressed in a simple black suit with a blue tie, looking at himself in the mirror while fixing the tie to make sure it laid correctly.

He tucked one side of his hair behind his ear, using a silver hair clip to keep it in place. After a bit of considering, he opened the cabinet that was beside the mirror and grabbed some silver earrings that he kept in there.

Not many people knew that he had his ears pierced, as he didn’t wear earrings very often. Yosano knows, if only because he had gone to her once to get new backings for his favorite pair since they had gone missing.

Chuuya is also aware, as they got their ears pierced at the same time. However, Dazai didn’t want to think about him anymore. He had to get ready for Atsushi, after all!

After making sure the earrings were in correctly, Dazai took a deep breath. He could do this. All he had to do was go and get Atsushi, go to the restaurant, and then give Atsushi the gift.

He’s got this. He’s Dazai Osamu, after all!

He left the bathroom, turning the light off, and heading into the living room. He picked up the gift, making sure the items inside remained hidden. He didn’t want Atsushi to see the items before he was ready to give the gift to him.

Dazai checked the time as he walked to the front door to get his shoes on. It was twenty minutes until it was time to meet up with Atsushi. He considered how long it would take to get to the restaurant before leaving his apartment, humming while making the trip to Atsushi’s.

He knocked on the door once there, waiting for an answer.

About two minutes passed before Kyouka opened the door, blinking at Dazai before turning to call out to Atsushi. “It’s for you,” is all she said, watching as Atsushi peeked out from the bathroom. He ducked back in, long enough to fix his hair and shirt, then stepped out and offered a small wave to Dazai.

“Hi, Dazai-san. I thought you wouldn’t be coming by for another twenty minutes…”

Dazai shrugged, admiring Atsushi. He was wearing a simple outfit that consisted of a gray button up with folded sleeves and a black vest, along with black pants that were cuffed. The longer strand of his hair was braided, and there were bunny hair clips in the shorter part, probably from Kyouka.

Either way, he looked really cute and Dazai really wanted to kiss him.

“Wanted to stop by early,” Dazai finally responded, “figured if we leave early, we could catch the sunset by the time we leave the restaurant. That is, if you’re ready.”

Atsushi blinked, before nodding, fixing his vest. “Uhm…I should be. I just need to get my shoes on and then I’ll be done.” He turned his attention to Kyouka. “Kyouka-chan, will you be alright on your own?”

Kyouka nodded, even gently pushing Atsushi over to the door so that he could get his shoes on. “I’ll be fine. I’ll call if I need anything. I know where everything is.”

Atsushi seemed glad to hear that, patting her head. “Alright. I’ll be back once we’re done with dinner!” He smiled at Kyouka, tugging his shoes on and turning to Dazai. “Alright, we can go now!”

Dazai hummed, leaving the apartment with Atsushi. Kyouka closed the door behind them, waving goodbye to them both. Atsushi lingered for a moment, at least until he heard the click of the door locking, before heading down the stairs with Dazai.

It was mostly quiet as they walked to the restaurant, both of them just taking in the other’s presence. Dazai opened the door to the restaurant once getting there, letting Atsushi go in first, then followed him inside and walked up to the front desk.

“I have a reservation under Dazai, table for two.”

The receptionist nodded, finding the reservation before grabbing two menus and guiding Atsushi and Dazai to their table. Atsushi looked amazed at how fancy the place was as he sat down, looking around the building.

“Woah… it’s really fancy here, huh?” He turned his gaze to the menu, opening it and staring at the prices. “Dazai-san…the food is really expensive. Are you sure it’ll be okay to eat here?”

Dazai waved a hand in dismissal, setting the gift bag down beside his feet while getting situated in his chair. “It’s completely fine, I’ll cover the bill. Don’t worry about it, Atsushi-kun. Get whatever you want, my treat.”

Atsushi still seemed hesitant on the idea, but eventually nodded, deciding to not fight Dazai on the matter.

Throughout the night, they talked about various things, laughing about things that have happened at work, and having a very nice time with each other. It was peaceful and nice, not to mention the fact that Dazai got to hear Atsushi’s beautiful laugh.

At one point, Atsushi decided to mention something that’s been on his mind the whole night.

“By the way, Dazai-san… what’s with that bag?” He pointed at the gift bag with his fork, blinking at his mentor.

“Oh, this?” Dazai picked the bag up, looking at Atsushi and smiling at him as he handed the bag over to him. “It’s for you, Atsushi-kun. Think of it as my own thank you gift to you.”

He found it amusing how Atsushi looked very surprised from being handed the bag. He set his fork down, carefully taking the bag and setting it on his lap. He glanced at Dazai, just to make sure this wasn’t some kind of mistake, before opening the bag and carefully taking the items out.

He pulled the plush out first, staring at it in awe. It was very soft and easy to hold. Not to mention that it was of a white tiger. He was sure that Dazai did that on purpose.

After setting the plush aside, he pulled out the pictures. There were six total.

The first one was taken after the Agency had defeated the guild, with everyone gathered together and celebrating. There were smiles on everyone’s faces, some having a flush to their cheeks due to being drunk, like Yosano.

The next one was during Halloween, when Ranpo had gotten everyone to dress up in different costumes for fun. All of them were with the Agency in one way or another, except for the very last one. The last one was a picture of the fireworks that they had seen just a few weeks ago, and Atsushi had said he wished he had gotten a good picture of them because of how pretty they were.

Atsushi looked up at Dazai in surprise after looking through the pictures. Dazai was watching him with a fond look, smiling at him. The weretiger could’ve sworn his heart flipped in his chest after seeing that smile.

“You…printed these out for me?” Atsushi managed to ask, looking back at the pictures. They were even laminated!

Dazai nodded, looking quite proud of himself. “Yep. I had some help, Yosano-sensei was the one who had the pictures so I had to ask her for them, but it was fully my idea.” He tilted his head, asking an obvious question: “Do you like them?”

Atsushi nodded, smiling at Dazai when looking at him again. “Yes. Thank you so much…”

Dazai cleared his throat, not used to being thanked for something like this. He simply nodded, shoving down the feelings that were bubbling up. “There’s more,” he mentioned, gesturing to the bag.

Atsushi looked into the bag, reaching into it and grabbing the candies, giving a small ‘woah’. They were candies he’s seen Ranpo eat before and had made a passing comment about how he kinda wanted to try them. He didn’t think anyone had been paying attention.

He blinked when seeing the note, picking it up after setting everything else aside. He glanced at Dazai, before turning his attention to the card, opening it to read what was inside.

Happy Valentine’s Day, Atsushi-kun

I hope you enjoy your gift

There’s a special place I’d like to take you after dinner

It’s important

Dazai ♡

Atsushi looked up from the card once he was done reading it, focusing on Dazai. “You…want to take me somewhere?” He asked, closing the card and watching as Dazai nodded.

“Yep,” he grinned at Atsushi, “do you want to go now, since we’ve finished eating?”

Atsushi thought about it, carefully putting the items back into the bag to make it easier to carry everything. “Uhm…yeah, sure. I don’t mind.”

Dazai made sure to pay for the bill, not letting Atsushi see the price, before getting up and leading him out of the restaurant. The sun was beginning to set as they left, casting Yokohama in a pretty orange glow.

Dazai soon stopped once getting to a bridge, leaning against it and looking out to the water, admiring how pretty it looked with the sunset. Atsushi hurried over to him, probably worrying about the possibility of Dazai jumping off.

He wouldn’t, not around Atsushi. Besides, he had important news for him.

“Isn’t it gorgeous?”

Atsushi blinked, looking at Dazai, then looked at the water and nodded. “Mhm…the sunset is always pretty. But, is…is there a reason you wanted to bring me here, Dazai-san?”

Dazai hummed, turning to face Atsushi, admiring the way the sunset casted an almost angelic glow onto the weretiger. How fitting, considering Dazai often thought of him as an angel who had been sent down to save him.

“I wanted to say thank you, Atsushi-kun.”

“Huh?” Atsushi turned his gaze to Dazai, looking confused as to why he said that. “For…what?”

Dazai reached out and fixed a part of Atsushi’s hair for him, admiring him. “For sticking around me, even after finding out that I used to work for the Mafia. For seeing me as a good person, even after everything you’ve witnessed.”

Atsushi tilted his head, before smiling at Dazai. “Of course! Dazai-san is a good person! You saved me, countless times. If you weren’t good, you wouldn’t have done that.”

Ah.

Dazai wasn’t expecting this to be turned around on him like this. Really, Atsushi was too sweet for his own good sometimes…

He rested his hand on Atsushi’s cheek, watching as he leaned into the touch. He considered something, wondering if it would be a good idea, before deciding to throw caution to the wind as he leaned down and pecked Atsushi’s lips.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Atsushi-kun.”

After murmuring those words against his lips, Dazai pulled back and turned around, stuffing his hands into his pockets as he walked back home, his heart flipping in his chest from such a bold action.

Leaving behind a very confused and flustered Atsushi, watching him leave with wide eyes.

[mamichigo]

Title: zinnia (2,9k)

Pairing: Dazai/Atsushi

Tags: Pre-Relationship, Grief/Mourning, Introspection, Hurt/Comfort, Canonical Character Death

Rating: G

Summary:

Kunikida asks Atsushi to keep an eye on Dazai after he disappears for awhile.

Warnings: Extensive talk about dealing with the loss of a loved one

My gift for @/AngelSpiritFox and written for the @dazatsu-exchange. This is a bit of a somber one, so it’s a little strange to say this but happy Valentine’s Day. (And honestly did you expect anything other than angst from me?)

Also, link to the fic on AO3 is in the source!

*

Atsushi knew something was wrong from the moment Kunikida approached him and asked, “Do you know where Dazai is?”

Though the cause for concern wasn’t the words itself—Kunikida asked about Dazai’s whereabouts often enough, considering how addicted the man was to disappearing without a word. What alarmed him was Kunikida’s tone: exhausted, yes, but somber. The cadence of his voice lowering into a bottomless pit, something empty and resigned. Atsushi looked around in hopes of finding a clue as to what was going on, but his coworkers seemed as lost as he felt.

Slowly, Atsushi shook his head. “No, I haven’t.” He chewed on his bottom lip. “Did something happen?”

For a moment, Kunikida seemed to ponder if he should answer or not. Then, he sighed and crossed his arms.

“Do me a favor and call him,” Kunikida said. In a quieter voice, he added, “He might pick up if it’s you.”

Although he opened his mouth to protest, Atsushi decided it wasn’t the time for creating silly arguments. He fished his phone out of his pocket and scrolled down to Dazai’s name in his contact list. For no discernible reason, his heart sped up with each dial tone—only to freeze completely when the call connected. Atsushi glanced towards Kunikida, but quickly averted his eyes to the floor.

There was faint static crackling from Dazai’s side, a slight interference from the blowing wind. Atsushi waited a bit, but no other sound surfaced.

“Dazai-san?” Atsushi said.

A deep breath blew into the speaker. Atsushi didn’t have in him to wince, his anxiety too great to allow for a reaction other than a tense gasp.

“Tell Kunikida-kun I’m okay,” Dazai whispered.

It took Atsushi a moment to fully understand what he said.

“Wh—”

Toot, toot, toot… Atsushi moved the phone away from his ear and stared at the screen, where it showed the meager few seconds the call had lasted. 

“So?” Kunikida prompted.

“He asked me to tell you he’s okay…”

It was a marvel in and of itself that Dazai already knew why Atsushi had called, but the chill that seeped into his bones froze his emotions as well. He turned uncertain eyes up at Kunikida, and realized he looked just as defeated as Atsushi felt—maybe even more so.

“Of course he did,” Kunikida grumbled. He ran a finger through his hair, more disveheled than Atsushi had seen him in a while. “Atsushi.”

The authoritative tone made Atsushi square his shoulders on instinct. Maybe this had something to do with a mission, after all. Maybe Atsushi would be sent out as backup for Dazai. For fidget under Kunikida’s stare.

“Y-Yes!”

Kunikida jumped a little when Atsushi talked, and he seemed put-off by his response. Bit by bit, Kunikida relaxed his facial muscles, until the scowl melted into something neutral.

“Listen, this isn’t an order,” he said, each word enunciated slowly. “If you have the time, go visit him.”

‘Visit’? If it wasn’t a work-related situation, he supposed the wording made sense. But still, why would Kunikida urge Atsushi to—

“I’m sure you remember the graveyard from last time?”

“Oh,” Atsushi breathed out, thoughts coming to a halt. “Yes, I do.”

“Good.” Kunikida laid a hand atop his head and said, quietly so only the two of them could hear, “I’m counting on you.”

 *

 This place was the same as Atsushi remembered it, quiet and peaceful, with only the seagulls for company. There was a particular hush that settled around the graveyard that was almost calming—Atsushi wasn’t sure if every cemetery felt the same, or if the atmosphere was exclusive to this place. He wrapped both hands around the can of soda he had brought for Dazai and looked over to the sea. The sunlight shone on the water surface, drawing his eyes to it even as he descended the  steps to find the gravestone set apart from the others.

The S. Oda engraved in the stone was the same he remembered from his last and only visit, but that was the only familiar thing here. There was no head of brown hair resting nearby. Atsushi stepped closer and realized the patch of grass near the tombstone was worn down. Atsushi could imagine Dazai sleeping in that spot all too clearly. He blew a sigh, pushed the image away, and joined his palms for a small prayer.

Once he was done, Atsushi blinked his eyes open and looked around again, but the graveyard was unperturbed by anything other than the sound of the ocean. Dazai was still nowhere to be found.

Discomfort grew in his gut, like he was breaching Dazai’s privacy. Like he wasn’t allowed to be here. Atsushi shuffled on his feet and stared at the gravestone as if it might give him the answers he needed.

“I guess you don’t know where Dazai-san is either, huh?” He mused, but felt silly almost immediately as the silence stretched. Atsushi set a nervous hand on the back of his head. “You wouldn’t be able to tell me if you did anyways.”

His words caught up to him a second later, mortification burning bright on his cheeks. Atsushi bowed and squeaked out, “I mean! Sorry…”

Moisture gathered on his palm, and Atsushi finally remembered he was still carrying a can of rapidly cooling soda. He looked from the can to the gravestone, at a loss for what to do last.

“Kunikida-san seemed sure Dazai would be here,” he mumbled to himself. “I guess I’ll just…”

He crouched and set the can on the grass by the gravestone. Atsushi stared at it for a minute and frowned.

“This somehow feels wrong,” he admitted. He lowered his head in apology. “Next time, I’ll bring you one as well, Oda-san.”

Somewhat satisfied with that arrangement, Atsushi left.

Later in the night, his phone buzzed just as Atsushi had begun to fall asleep. He shot up in surprise, and banged his head right into the closet shelf. Atsushi hissed as he patted the kimono in search of his phone. He grabbed the device and brearily peered at the screen.

There were two messages, both from Dazai.

This soda is warm, Atsushi-kun.

I think I swallowed an ant.

It was a miracle Atsushi managed to cover his mouth just in time to muffle his involuntary snort. His thumb hovered over the keyboards, a billion words thrown around inside his head but never coherent enough to form a proper response. The most Atsushi could muster up was I hope you're okay, something too sincere. Something Dazai was bound to reject.

Still, Atsushi couldn’t bring himself to put the phone down, even if the light burned his tired eyes. Part of him waited for—no, wanted Dazai to text him again. In the low light of his phone and with Dazai’s name engraved in his retina, Atsushi fell asleep.

 *

 At Ranpo's suggestion (who somehow knew of Atsushi's gesture of taking a drink to Dazai), Atsushi carried two bottles of Ramune in his hands. He wasn't too sure about the flavor, so he grabbed the drinks at blind and hoped for the best.

There was no disappointment to be felt when he entered the graveyard to find it empty. In a way, Atsushi expected as much. It would be too lucky to just run into Dazai without any clues of what hours he came by to visit—if he even had a schedule for it at all. 

It didn't stop the ache in his chest, however. A sort of emptiness that he realized came from feeling his mentor's absence.

Atsushi sighed as he placed the bottles down and did his prayers. He lowered his hands slowly, and didn't open his eyes immediately. Although the feeling that he was intruding wasn't completely gone, Atsushi felt strangely welcomed here. He looked down at Oda's gravestone.

"I think I understand why Dazai-san comes here so often," he said quietly. "It's always so peaceful, it feels like the rest of the world is paused."

Again, his eyes were attracted to the ocean view. He wondered if Dazai had been the one to pick this place as his friend's resting ground. Something told him that there was a story behind that choice. He swayed slightly in the ocean breeze.

That ache grew, and with it came the realization that as beautiful as the view from the graveyard was, it was still proof of Oda's death. Atsushi clenched his hands behind his back.

"Maybe that's a little disrespectful to both of you. There's no way he would come here just because it's a nice place, right?" He laughed awkwardly. "To be honest, I don't know how Dazai-san feels."

But that was nothing new, really. Sometimes it felt as if the two of them were worlds apart. If Atsushi were to desperately grab for him, keep him rooted to the earth, would Dazai feel warm in his hands? Would he feel real?

"There's no one in my past to miss," Atsushi admitted. He looked down at the ground, and refrained from scratching at his scars. "If I think about it like that, it's a little lonely."

It brought memories of flower bouquets and a man dead by the road. He thought of the sunset burning the horizon, infinite and beautiful; of Dazai by his side, smiling with that soft countenance that was so characteristic to him.

"It's a lot better now, really. I don't know what I'd do if I lost someone from the Agency." And that was why he would never, could never stop reaching for them. "Caring about someone is a little terrifying, isn't it?"

"You must've been really important to Dazai-san," he mused, voice distant.

What an obvious realization, but Atsushi didn't really understand the depth of Dazai's loss until now. Only after he had seen Kunikida's brace the desk for support in pure relief once Atsushi told him Dazai had texted him. Only after he was made to face the gaping hole that was left in his life when Dazai stepped out of it.

"I miss having him around, but I get why he's been absent." Atsushi took a deep breath and bowed his head. "Could you take care of him for now? Thank you, Oda-san."

Atsushi squared his shoulders and recomposed himself, pushing away the tears he hadn't noticed had sprang to his eyes.

"Sorry to disturb your rest again," Atsushi said as he waved. "I'll be back, if that's okay."

The text came not much later after he left. Atsushi was chewing on his dinner when his phone pinged with a new notification. 

How many bottles of warm soda do you think I could possibly drink?

He stared at the message in hesitation. Kyouka met his eyes from across the table, her head tilted. Atsushi shook his head to reassure her and typed back a quick response.

The other bottle is for Oda-san.

His phone went quiet after that. Although Atsushi kept the device glued to his hands, no new messages appeared. 

Instead, he heard his ringtone in the middle of his sleep. Too tired to open his eyes, Atsushi accepted the call and pressed the phone to his ear. Not a single word was spoken, but he heard the wind and knew exactly who it was. Atsushi fell back into unconsciousness to the sound of static and ocean waves.

In the morning, he woke up to a single message:

Bring snacks instead.

  *

 With the Agency depending on him to keep in contact with Dazai, it was easy for Atsushi to make a habit out of visiting the graveyard once a day. If he stepped out in the middle of work, no one questioned it—though it didn’t stop the Agency members, especially the seniors, from anxiously watching him depart. Atsushi was grateful for the routine of looking for something for Dazai (and Oda), as the thoughts of what was safe to leave in the open pushed away the lingering anxiety as the days passed by without a sign of Dazai’s return.

Today, however, instead of stopping by the store, Atsushi made a trip to his dorm room instead. After retrieving what he needed, he made the walk to the graveyard, its path now so familiar that Atsushi didn’t need to think where he was going.

Once he made it to his destination, Atsushi lowered himself onto a crouch, careful not to sprain his ankle. As he became stable in his new position, he looked over to the gravestone. There were no signs of food anywhere. Atsushi was relieved that at least Dazai was being careful not to leave a mess behind.

"I bet Dazai-san has been eating everything I bring to you," he accused lightly. "Even though it's supposed to be an offering. He's gonna end up getting cursed at this rate."

Then again, from the little Atsushi knew of Oda, he didn't sound like the person to come back as a vengeful spirit. Much less over something like Dazai eating his offerings.

"Maybe you're too nice to do that, Oda-san…"

"You should call him Odasaku."

Atsushi had to brace himself with a hand on the ground as he whipped his head too fast and almost lost his balance. He looked at Dazai, a mixture of surprise and relief making his heart pound. In his bewilderment, he forgot to voice a response. Dazai tilted his head, taking his silence as confusion.

"That's what his friends called him," Dazai explained.

"Oh, I— Alright." Although he had been visiting Oda...saku's gravestone on the regular, being called a friend suddenly tied his throat in knots. At a loss, Atsushi added, "Thank you."

The oddness of the situation wasn't lost on Dazai. He chuckled, eyes trained on Atsushi.

"You're thanking me?" He teased.

Despite his words and his smile, the amusement was distant; like Dazai wasn't quite there to feel that emotion. Not only that, but as soon as he stopped talking, his face fell. His eyelids were lowered into slits, and Dazai took a long moment to speak up again.

"What do you have there?" He said and pointed at Atsushi's lap.

Atsushi looked down, reminded of the coat he had brought with him this time around. It was a hand-me-down from Tanizaki, though practically brand new. Atsushi ran a hand on the black fabric before offering it to Dazai.

"It's a thicker jacket," Atsushi explained. "It's been getting colder lately, so you might catch a cold."

Dazai stared at the jacket for a second too long. A sardonic smirk appeared on his face, though he was quick to school his expression back into neutrality.

"Give it here," Dazai murmured as he took the jacket and draped it over his shoulders. He didn't bother pulling his arms through the sleeves, and the jacket billowed behind him like a cape. Dazai smiled, secretive and impossible to decipher. "Does it suit me?"

Atsushi couldn't help but feel like he was missing some crucial context. The appearance of the jacket mattered very little to him, as far as he knew that it was warm and safely wrapped around Dazai.

"I don't know, it's just a jacket," he said slowly. "I guess so?"

Dazai held the jacket closed with a hand and nodded absentmindedly. "I see."

His shoulders were tensed up, Atsushi noticed; the lingering discomfort wasn't just his imagination. It reminded Atsushi that it wasn’t Dazai’s intention to meet him here. He never got permission to come—even if Dazai's texts had deluded him to believe he received an invitation. For all Atsushi knew, Dazai could be deliberately avoiding crossing paths with him.

"Do you want me to go?" Atsushi wrung the words out of his throat.

"No," Dazai replied without missing a beat. Ever so slightly, Dazai shifted so they were closer to each other. His leg bumped against Atsushi’s shoulder. "Just give me a moment."

It was clear that the proximity was meant to comfort himself, but Atsushi felt something uncoil from below his diaphragm. He breathed out, lungs no longer constricted, but gaze never straying away from Dazai’s face.

Although it hurt him to see the vacant stare Dazai had, Atsushi couldn’t find the words to reassure him. Perhaps it was for the best to let Dazai have his silence, even if only for a moment. Atsushi rested his head against his forearms, and in the process pressed himself to Dazai.

The touch was unintentional, but it snapped Dazai out of his daze. His eyes strayed from the gravestone to Atsushi. In the shadow, his irises turned into all-consuming black holes.

"When we get out of here, could you help me with my bandages?" Dazai asked, his voice flat but heavy. From below, Atsushi could see clearly when Dazai’s nails dug painfully into the flesh of his palm. "I'd rather not look at my arms."

"Dazai-san," Atsushi called.

Dazai shifted a little to look at him. His eyes widened a little when he saw Atsushi hold up a hand to him.

"Whatever you need, I'll do it," Atsushi promised.

Dazai blinked, but he was quick to recover. He laughed, and though the stretch of his lips was a little painful, it was genuine. His touch was a little cold when their hands met, but Atsushi felt his pulse briefly when he squeezed a bit too hard in an attempt to warm up his palm.

Dazai was right here, beautiful and fragile in the way his fingers trembled in Atsushi's grasp.

"Thank you for looking out for me," Dazai whispered.

Ah, I guess that job is mine after all. Atsushi smiled to himself. I’ll do my best, Odasaku-san.

[mengestress]

Dazatsu Valentine Exchange ♡

For: @nekojimaxosamew~ (Love you Taka!)

WARNING: Semi-descriptive mentions of torture

-

It was dark and ashy as usual, not another living soul around. It was during the night and normally, everyone has gone to sleep leaving nothing but absolute silence for the rest of the night. He wished he was able to sleep too.

For years, he has been roaming the ruined orphanage. Ever since the director had burnt the whole building down, all of the orphans that were still inside died along with him. But for some reason, his soul had decided to stay with the orphanage so now he’s forced to wander the area and was never able to go out.

He figured that since he was chained up during the fire, it had also meant that he was chained up to the orphanage completely. Now, he floats around the halls, basically memorizing every nook and cranny there is in this abandoned building.

Sometimes, he’ll go out to the garden just outside of the orphanage. It used to be one of his favourite places to go out to when he was still alive. There used to be various types of flowers in all kinds of colours, giving some soft of facade to the world that the orphanage was some heavenly place when in reality, it was absolute torture.

The garden was the furthest place that the chains that binded him to the cursed orphanage could allow him to go. If he were to take a step forward from where he was sitting right now, the chains would stop right there and his arms would be painfully pulled back.

He stood up and stared into the full moon, taking its beauty, before heading back whatever that was left by the fire, the chains on his wrists and ankles following suite. He remembers the time when the orphanage burnt down and there was nobody who came to help him.

He was screaming at the top of his lungs, his tears were practically boiling as it dripped down his face. The chains started to burn deep red marks on his skin, causing him even more torturous pain. He had basically suffered the worst death imaginable, and yet he has to continue living in the hellhole he died in even in the afterlife.

He lifts a hand up to his face and stares at the metal chain clinging onto his wrist, burn marks clearly visible from both edges of the chain. He was sat on the cold, hard cement floor of the basement he died in. He let the back of his head rest against the wall as he closed his eyes, waiting for dusk.

Daytime wasn’t exactly his favourite time of the day. He used to hate it, especially in the afternoon. The director would force him to do labour in the scalding hot sun and not a single drop of water would be given to him until the chore was done.

But a few weeks ago, a man with fluffy brown hair in a trench coat walked in. Being the curious and shy soul that he was, he made sure to stay out of his line of sight and watched his every move. The entire time he was walking around the orphanage, he had some sort of mischievious grin on his face.

“Aww, I was hoping I’d meet some scary ghost to finally fulfill my hopes and dreams of killing myself!” The man crossed his arms and pouted. He couldn’t help but feel irritated how the man was trying to get him out of his hiding place by guilt-tripping him. “Oh well, I guess I’ll try next time!”

Ever since that day, the man came to visit the burnt down orphanage everyday at sunrise. Sometimes, the man would even hum a song or dance alone along the hallways. He figured the man was trying to lure him out to reveal himself just for the giggles. Humans were always so curious about the supernatural, weren’t they?

But his actions had successfully caught his attention since he’s never interacted with another human ever since he died. Seeing this man pull all sorts of crazy stunts, it made him intruiged. He’s never seen anybody much like the man.

And dare he say it out loud, the man was extremely attractive as well. His curly, fluffed up hair and his hazel eyes looked so unique despite being the most common hair and eye colour. He was absolutely mesmerizing to watch, he would be lying if he didn’t say he could stare at him all day.

He wished to be able to speak to him one day. To talk to him and ask about his life, about  experience being alive. He yearned for that feeling again, to breathe, to touch, to smell. He desperately wants to simply feel alive again.

Which is ironic, since the brunet only wanted to feel death.

For now, all he could do was sit quietly in the shadows and watch the man kick the ashes into the air, a childish grin on his face. He can’t help but smile as the man continued his antics everyday. Maybe one day he’ll be able to show himself.

One day.

□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□

I apologize if this is not what you actually wanted. I tried my best to write according to the prompts you gave me! I had no other ideas on how to write it so,, (plus i’ve been really busy with my school and prefect stuff)

But I hope you enjoyed it! You’re one of my favourite mutuals so I wanted it to be to your liking.

[pinkcupofcherrytea]

your secret dazatsu valentine exchange here! it's my first time joining something like this and i read your likes but — but! i want to know if you want anything else thankies! have a great day!

Hello! It’s the first time I join something like this, too! I’m sure it’s going to be fun. About what I like…hmm… I’m honestly cool with almost everything! I do believe that a angsty yet romantic theme never can go wrong , and whether or not it’s canonverse or an AU doesn’t matter - i love both! I don’t have anything against more classic settings like a Coffeshop!AU or School!AU if you feel like you might have an interest in doing something with that. Sorry for being so unspecific, but you’re welcome to ask any further questions that you want. Perhaps if I like/dislike some more particular things you had in mind? I can’t really think of any more at the moment. Good luck with everything!