#death-potato

[sbnkalny]

death-potato: (any food item) && kinder surprise eggs || Phone == tinder soup rice egg

henry-fitzroy-deactivated201911: Be sure that cirnineball does not use a wrench to tighten the pressure you feel When too many tinder matches am i right

admiral-craymen: Going to be a jar of Jelly just makes My heart go boom boom boom 👏👏👏👏 even now, they use a wrench To tighten the pressure you feel when too many tinder matches am i right

death-potato: when i thought

henry-fitzroy-deactivated201911: when i thought he was ready to complete

death-potato: It's time to begin the Elder dragon you came here with the first, he said he was ready to complete

henry-fitzroy-deactivated201911: Us versus Nergigante: the elder dragon you came rapping, and so faintly you came here with

admiral-craymen: Us versus Nergigante: the elder dragon tracks left and So continually shifting that they can barely tolerate our presence on earth! today, they take away internet fweedom owo :3 rawr means I love you

admiral-craymen: Us versus Nergigante: the elder dragon you came to say that i only shower/have a bath once every decade or so, they Flock to this continent, and the next thing i know He's really pounding it into my face!!!! then i started to flash..

poke-chann: Us versus Nergigante: the elder dragons' "graveyard," so to speak

admiral-craymen: Us versus Nergigante: the Elder dragons fleeing Nergigante's Wrath have started invading other territories

poke-chann: Us versus Nergigante: the elder Dragon that feeds on unsuspecting worms

henry-fitzroy-deactivated201911: Us versus Nergigante: the Elder Scrolls online, being the only quarter Queen.

admiral-craymen: Us versus Nergigante: the Elder crossing is upon us both, so that we allowed laughingly to one another, the walls." "So?" "so the Symbols mean, Deerkaza?"

admiral-craymen: Us versus Nergigante: the Elder dragon to protect your frail sense of masculinity ;) sorry that you all RIGHT!? Damn, I let too many secrets slip between the back seat and my dick.

death-potato: Us versus Nergigante: the elder dragon that badly?

admiral-craymen: Us versus Nergigante: The elder dragon you came to the new world.

death-potato: Us versus Nergigante: the Elder dragon You came tapping, tapping at my Chamber door,That I scarce was sure I get eight hours save me

poke-chann: Us Versus Nergigante: the elder dragon that feeds on Elder dragons, you can imagine that every one at a time where i had joy

admiral-craymen: Us versus Nergigante: the elder dragon investigation

poke-chann: Us versus Nergigante: the elder dragon tracks left and so

admiral-craymen: Us versus Nergigante: the elder Dragon that feeds on other elder dragons

poke-chann: Us versus Nergigante: the elder Dragon investigation

admiral-craymen: Us versus Nergigante: the elder dragon pile.

poke-chann: Us versus Nergigante: the Elder Dragon you came here with

[inknose]

just when he thought all secrets had been revealed, xie lian uncovers more shocking intrigue

[choccy-milky]

I can imagine Clora reading the "Final Problem" where Sherlock "DIES" and being depressed for like a month and sending hate mail to Conan Doyle while Sebastian tries to cheer her up.

THATS SO FUNNY YOU SENT THIS BECAUSE I LITERALLY DECIDED THE SAME THING A WHILE BACK BAHAHA i plan to mention it in my fic too

seb would 1000% find clora crying during their seventh year when "the final problem" is published LMAOO and he'd freak out wondering whats wrong. and when i read about how tons of doyles' fans sent him hate mail and were outraged i was like yup, clora would've been one of them BAHAHA. ["Obituaries for Holmes appeared everywhere. Petitions were signed and “Keep Holmes Alive” clubs were formed."] CLORA WOULD HAVE FORMED ONE OF THOSE CLUBS TOO LMFAOO

all the outrage made doyle resurrect sherlock a decade later, so that also means when they're older + married + have kids, clora's just gonna burst into the room one day and be like "HES ALIIIIVEEE!!!!!!!" BAHAHHAA clora's hate mail to arthur conan doyle is what brought back sherlock, CONFIRMED!!💯💪✨

[f-athr]

help i can’t stop giving men slutty little waists

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

potato is love, potato is life- local hell woman gives potato to her angelic future wife

Charlie: “I don’t think I should be allowed to interact with women ever again.”

Husk: “Is this about Vaggie giggling over a fucking potato earlier-”

Charlie: “OH IT’S ABOUT THE POTATO ALL RIGHT! WHY THE FUCK DOES THE PHRASE ‘apple of my eye’ EVEN EXIST IN THE SAME UNIVERSE WHERE ‘earth apple’ IS ANOTHER WORD FOR POTATO??? WHY DO PEOPLE CALL THE STUPID SPROUTY THINGS ON POTATOES ‘eyes’????? CREATION IS STUPID! IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE!!”

Husk: “Did you fucking give her the potato.”

Charlie: (slumping) “I was trying to be romantic-!”

Husk: “Did you call HER your potato.”

Charlie: “THE POTATO OF MY HEART! The tuber of my root sprout!”

Husk: “Oh fuck. Shit, that’s. That’s terrible. You really shouldn’t fucking talk to women anymore.”

Charlie: (sobbing) “I WAS TRYING!!! TO BE SWEET!!!!!”

Angel Dust: “-hey gays m’kay, real fucked up question for ya both but- anyone know why Vag G-string is makin’ soppy doe eyes at an uncooked tater tot?”

Husk: “It’s because she’s almost as much of fucking fail loser as her girlfriend, is why.”

Charlie: (sniffs) “She. You think she likes it…?”

Angel Dust: “Charlie chip, she’s starin’ at the damn thing like it’s her first born child.”

Charlie: “Oh…”

Charlie: “…”

Charlie: “Unholy shit…. I am so GOOD with women-”

Husk: “No. No you’re fucking not. It’s just her.”

Charlie: “Well she’s the only one who counts so that’s perfect!”

Angel Dust: “Oh please don’ tell me you gave her the potato-”

Charlie: “BE RIGHT BACK IM GONNA GO GET HER ANOTHER ONE!!!”

Husk: “NO-!”

[the-blaze-empress]

did anyone ask for a steven universe au? no? too bad you're getting one

need a name for this au fr, suggestions more than welcome

[causalityparadoxes]

BOOP NOTE

[ch33todust3r]

Lawrence stuff :^

I love potato Lawrence @vlad-01

[ihatebrainstorm]

guys i love robots and funny transforming robots and cranky transforming robots and robots and funny fellas and funny robots and transformers and cool mechs and medical robots and grrr robots and rheurhherhhghrgeh

[poorlittleyaoyao]

I'm also sad right now because, unlike in the novel where everyone totally sucks, someone DOES speak directly to Qin Su in CQL's treasure room scene. When Wei Wuxian comes up to check on her and confirm that she's not under a spell, he whispers "Jin-furen?" to her in concern. She doesn't acknowledge him, which feels weird, right? Why wouldn't she latch onto a potential source of help, especially one whom she knows is now affiliated with the influential Hanguang-jun since she saw them together during the banquet earlier?

EXCEPT

One of CQL's changes is to make Qin Su the target of Mo Xuanyu's unwanted advances instead of Jin Guangyao. So Qin Su, already having an awful time due to the incest marriage revelations, is now (as far as she knows) being addressed by her harasser whom she now knows is also a half-brother. No wonder she's not engaging! It's ANOTHER INCEST SITUATION! And everyone else is just standing there, except for Su Minshan, who snidely remarks "So Mo-gongzi brought us into the chamber just to see Jin-furen!" which! underscores! her probable concerns!

And I'm sad about it because maybe, if the Suibian reveal had somehow happened SOONER--if Jin Guangyao had replaced the head with something that attacked Wei Wuxian when he pulled back the curtain, forcing him to grab Suibian in defense, maybe--and Qin Su knew Wei Wuxian for who he was, then things would have gone differently!

[kvtnisseverdeen]

Kylian + stealing Achraf’s food

[dirtytransmasc]

TW: VERY DARK AND SUICIDE ATTEMPT (kind of)

Prompt :

He was six

Norm found him with his wrist slit

“Why’d you do this kiddo?”

“I wanted to get rid of the demon blood”

Jakes reaction

Neytiri stitched him up with an unreadable expression

IF THIS MAKES YOU UNCOMY

I UNDERSTAND, PLEASE DO NOT MAKE THIS IF ITS TO DARK!!!😭

oh my fucking god... it hurts so bad, but its so good. I love dark angst, there aren't many places I won't go, so have no worries anon.

head the trigger warnings above, I don't get super graphic, but I don't skid over any details either. disclaimer, mama!neytiri brain worms are liquefying my brain, so this is a little (a lot) neytiri-centric, cause I can't help it, its the worms I swear.

also, there are like 0 resources on na'vi medicine, so I'm just fucking winging it man, I'm gonna pull some shit out of my literal ass and we're all gonna have to just be ok with that. ~~~

norm wishes he could say he was shocked, surprised that this little boy wanted to hurt himself, let alone went through with it. he should have been gutted, more than he was at least, angry, put off, something. but not that its happened, he saw it from a mile away, he should have noticed, should have stopped it. all he felt was guilt, burning up his heart and knotting up his stomach as he put pressure on spiders tiny wrists, holding his lulling body in his arms. spider was just a kid, a baby, but he's muttering about 'getting rid of demon blood' and 'not belonging' and it being 'better off' if he was gone. it was somehow worse in his childish wording, his perfect innocence and naivety only just beginning to crack as the pain in his little chest began to swell.

it had been the odd quietness from spider's 'room' back in the cave marui's that alerted him to something being wrong. spider was quiet, in a way; when he was out playing with the kids he was loud, laughing, face filled with light and joy, even if something cold still glinted in his eyes. but when he was on his own, having been left behind or told off by some adult, human or na'vi alike, for getting in the way, he would sulk off to the little marui by the shack. but even if he would sit amongst himself, playing with the few figures someone had put time aside to make, attempting to weave a new piece of jewelry or basket, mending the sad little knife he wore on his side. he was always doing something, could be heard humming or sniffling, the sound of his knife on the wetstone or the clunking of wooden figures on each other were a constant. so when norm heard nothing but silence, his gut ticked up, the hair on his neck bristled, his legs carried him much farther they would on the average day until he was staring at spider and his little bloody arms and his little bloody knife and his sad little eyes.

it took only a split second for norm to come back to himself, to rush and pick the boy up before he had enough 'sense' to try and back away (spider never wanted trouble, never wanted to get in the way or be a burden, the fact he didn't try and hide worried norm more then it would of if he did, which was even more concerning in its own right).

he just held spider as tight as he could, his big blue hands easily covering his human wrists, trying to think of what he should do. he should say something, other then "its ok" but what does he say? what do you say to a six-year-old who just tried to kill himself, no, no, "get rid of the demon blood" coursing through his veins?

he wasn't going to lecture him, spider made it clear why he did it, comfort wasn't his strong suit. he could just look at his puffy little cheeks, one side of his mask blooded as he had attempted to wipe his cheek on instinct. so he just repeated a mantra of "I'm here" and "it's ok" and "your ok" until he reached the infirmary, trying to prtend he didn't feel spider slipping further and further away with each passing second.

in the flash of just a few seconds fueled by adrenaline alone, he knew he regretted everything. he was spider's caretaker sure, but he was no father, jake wasn't either, and the boy didn't have a single maternal figure to his name. no mother to kiss his brow at night or admire his accomplishments. he had no one, not truly, and norm allowed to happen, was not only complicit in it, but played a direct role in it. now he may not get to make that up, may not be given the chance to step up, to fix this.

he carried spider to the infirmary hut, knowing he would find someone, anyone, there who could help. part of him knew that mo'at had seen something in the child that brought some sort of pity from her, that maybe just this once, spider wouldn't be so alone in her presence.

when he entered the pod, he found mo'at showing neytiri something, explaining different herbs to her, though he didn't pay enough attention to it the lesson to pull out any identifying features of the herbs in question. both turned to look at him when they heard his rapid breathing, their gaze then shifting to the bloody boy in his arms, the ever-so-faint fogging of the glass that made up most of his exopack, and the ghostly parlor of spider's skin.

"put him down," mo'at commanded, before norm could even speak, clearing her pallet in an instant, "what happened to him?" her voice was firm, almost knowing.

"he...cut himself...intentionally...I don't know how long ago, but I found him in his pod alone and brought him right here."

"intentionally?" neytiri hissed, removing the boy from his arms when he couldn't get himself to comply with the order and holding him so she could listen to the weakening beat of his heart. she tied turniquotes around his upper forearm with the strands of clothing handed to her by her mother, absent-mindedly rocking the little thing where he rested held between her free-er arm and her chest, when the last bits of his consciousness were directed to fussing, no doubt from the pain. she couldn't bring herself to bind them too tight, just enough to control the bleeding, her hands and a bit of cloth could handle the rest.

(mo'at almost lectured her, but she saw that look in her daughter's eyes and knew it would be pointless, a mama bear gets what she wants)

norm had never seen the protective fire in her eyes, normally directed at her children, burn so bright for spider in the last few years she had known him. it scared him, it felt so unnatural that the very gaze he had learned to trust in most cases, froze him like a deer in headlights.

but that question, the tone of it, made his gut sink. how did he explain this, spider was just a baby, and he had slit his own wrists. that on its own was gut-wrenching, but the reason? Eywa have mercy.

"he said... he said he wanted to get rid of his demon blood, so he... he used his own knife and cut his wrists... its a common form of self harm back on earth, to cut yourself, but I don't even know how he would know to do that, why he would do it... I know why, but..." norm felt defeated. he should have seen something.

the look on neytiri's face made him want to tuck his tail between his legs and run off. she placed spider down as gently as one could, face scrunched up with pain and anger as she keeps pressure on both of spider's wrists.

"get jake, he is with the young hunters." she spoke quietly, her voice almost bitter. she didn't know if she blamed him, if she was angry with him, she barely understand how to feel about spider harming himself. all she knew is that he had just given her some of the most heartwrenching news she had heard in her life, so he was getting some of her mirth. norm nodded, racing off with his tail tucked between his legs, only hesitating to take another worried glance at the boy.

neytiri took a deep breath before turning to her mother. "he will need stitches, right?" she had never dealt with an injury quite like this before, the conscious effort in the wound made it clean and to the point, unlike a wound in battle. it strived to do quick, efficient damage, and now, either because she could barely let herself think straight, or because she genuinly didn't know, she couldn't think of the best way to treat it.

"yes, my daughter, but that is the least of his worries. he cut a large vein, those are very difficult to mend, stopping the bleeding will be difficult. he's already lost quite a bit of blood, so we need to be careful. the best thing would be to put a root paste to help clot the bleeding, wrap it up, and stitch it later." mo'at turned to her morter and pestle as she spoke, mixing different herbs, berries, and roots into a dark brown, almost purple, paste.

neytiri, nodded absently, while she picked through the basket at her side for bundles of lumped fibre and soft cloth to hold against his arms. luckily for him, while he did manage to do some damage and with the help of the tourniquets, one wrist had already stopped bleeding a fair bit, and the other was manageable.

in the silence of the hut, her mother working quietly behind her, turning every once and a while to check his breathing or giving her a tincture to clean his wounds with, neytiri was left to think.

demon blood.

he had done this because of the words she and so many spat at the sight of him. he had tried to rid himself of his sins, the sins of his father, the sins of his people; but were they really his to begin with? what had he done, in his six years of life, to have earned the hate he received? was the blood he carried in his veins enough to justify pushing a child to this?

no, she decided, no it was not.

seeing him so pale and lifeless in norms arms woke something in her, something deep in her gut, maternal rage coursing through her with something vicious, and even if she didn't deserve it after all she had done to him, pushed him to do, her heart was attempting to claim his as her own, and she didn't know what to do with that feeling. then she realized, that the maternal drive that prowled in her stomach like a thanator ready to pounce, not only saw the world as a threat, but saw her as a threat.

her mother handed her the salve and she was grateful for anything to do to take her mind off of the few revelations she managed to have while waiting.

"put more of the salve where the bleeding is stronger, then wrap it tight, be careful to not make it so tight it takes off his hand." the older woman guided, watching over her daughters work.

neytiri scooped it out bit by bit, slowing rubbing it onto the wounds while her mother blotted away the blood, her ears dipping whenever the boy his with pain or tried to pull away. she just wanted to make him better, to take him up into her arms and tell him it was alright like she would if he was one of her own children. but she knew she couldn't, he would wake up and see the monster who filled his little mind with such awful thoughts of himself, that he would be just as scared of her as he always was, and that she could bring him no comfort. so he was extra gentle as she finished off the paste, and held him like delicately as she wrapped the bandage around his wrists, gushing him gently each time he cried out, combing back his hair when she felt she was finished.

then jake came barreling in, breaking up the delicate silence that for a single second allowed her to believe it was just a normal day, that the new found fantasy of just being able to mother this child was true, that allowed spider to lay in peaceful sleep with her shawl over him. norm was trying to hush him, before he woke the baby, but there was no stopping jake, not when his face was full of pain and anger, looking as if he would plow down a titanothere just to get to spider.

neytiri knew jake had taken to spider more than he had let on, but the beast in her belly screamed that he hadn't done enough either, that he didn't earn the right to worry either. but she hushed it, knowing neither had the right to claim anything, not even over each other.

"ma'jake, quiet, or you will wake him and... he will be in pain. so let him sleep while he can," she attempted to soothe quietly, resisting every urge to just scoop him up when jakes loud entry did in fact stir him.

jake sat across from her, his hand resting on spider's chest, feeling the soft rise and fall of the boy's chest. "did he really?" he asked, eyes begging for her to tell him it wasn't true. she knew he would much rather hear of a freak accident over this, but she couldn't give him that mercy.

"yes, it would seem so." her voice was short, worn, despite barely saying a word this whole time.

jake crumpled a little, much more on the inside then he attempted to let show on the outside. neytiri was used to it, jake dealing with it all on the inside, bottling it up till he burst. she placed her hands over his, both of them being reassured by spider's breathing.

"but he is still here, we can and will help him. we will make sure he never feels this way again. I will right my wrongs, I will treat him as he has always deserved, and I hope one day he can forgive me. you will do the same. for now we just have to wait." she spoke gently, still worried about waking spider. she was partly talking to herself, making the promise she had worked her mind to final, she swore it on eywa. she saw jakes eyes finally close, knocking the tears he had been fighting to keep in down his cheeks.

he nodded, slumping into a lazy, defeated-looking, criss-cross position, talking spider's little hand in his, using the wet cloth from mo'at to clean the blood from his finger, the calloused palms of his hands, his muscle-toughened arms.

jake was no stranger to this, to harming yourself, even if he had never taken a blade to his wrists. trying to imagine that pain in such a little body terrified him. how was he supposed to wrap his head around little spider, the stray cat amongst the village, always smiling and laughing, always trying to help everyone, always up in trees or tussling with his kids, his blonde hair like streaks of the sun running about the village, battling such demons. he tried to imagine what he must have been feeling when he took his knife to his wrist. was he scared? relieved? confused? was he desperate and looking for a way out?

no, no norm said that spider wanted to get rid of his "demon blood" which as somehow more nauseating. it was their faults, him, norm, neytiri, The People. they hurt this child or they let it happen. they expected him to take every glare, every spit of acid, everything he was forced to endure, and to still remain a happy child. jake never once stopped to think what effect that may have on him, and now he was paying for it.

he ached, spider was small, he could fit in jakes hands even at 6 years old. he was drowning in neytiri's shawl even if on her, it would barely cover her upper arms, he had just started fitting his exopack a little less than a year ago. he was still just a baby, and they almost let his life end. had norm not found him, he would be dead, still and cold in his makeshift marui, in a pool of his own blood. the image that accompanied the thought that flashed in his made him feel sick. even with all that he denied feeling about the boy, no matter how hard he tried to push him away, no matter what he let him go through, the thought of spider dying, especially like that, alone and scared and in pain, terrified him. to have a child die for any preventable reason, was a disgrace on The People, especially their chief of all people.

chief.

he should have been the example. he should have led his people to find love for a defenseless child who wanted only to be loved and accepted. he had failed.

he let a finger caress the side of spiders face, along the edge of spider's mask, lightly pulling at the curly baby hairs that rested there,

"will he be alright?" he didn't know who he was asking, norm or mo'at. both would have very different opinions, norm more literal, mo'at more spiritual. he didn't know which he wanted.

"physically, yes. he is lucky, his blade was simple, his hand faltered, and he didn't seem to have a death wish. he didn't do too much damage, its manageable. emotionally jakesuli? time will tell." mo'at was the one to speak, the look on norms face spoke the his fear of setting neytiri off like he almost had earlier.

neytiri looked to her mother with a pain expression, her tail beating nervously where is laid near spiders head, ears still folded back.

"his mind is plauged with pain and desperation, things no child should even be aware of. he was driven to harm himself, in ways that will be permanent. it will be our actions going forward that determine his future. I fear if we do not undo the damage now, we will lose him in the years to come... what I fear more and that the damage has been done and cannot be undone. we can only hope for the former/"

neytiri damn near let out a cry, turning from her mother, eyes clenched as tears welled up in them. she found jakes arms, both leaning over spider like a makeshift shelter. just like they should have his whole life, they should have shielded him from the world, protected him from the hate of others. spider stirred once more, and this time jake couldn't resist the urge to scoop him up.

spider looked up at both of them, his little eyes tired and glossy, something small and painful in his gaze. he began to wiggle out of jakes hold, balling up nervously, but when neytiri grazed fingers through his hair, he stopped. this was the one thing he had ever wanted, deep down. not to be accepted, not to be one with the people, not even to be na'vi. he just wanted to be held, loved, by a mother, any mother. with his judgment too clouded by all his emotions, the desperation, the pain, even the blood loss, and maybe and even simpler reason being just being a child; spider let her hold him. he couldn't think about her years of neglect, the harsh words, and harsher glares, not in that moment, that could come later. right now, he needed a mother, and neytiri was willing, so he sunk into her hold, welcoming the embrace of either parent.

the road to spider's recovery would be long and hard. jake and neytiri had a lot to make up for, to apologize for, holding onto their guilt for years as they waited for spider to reach an age were their apologies would actually mean something to him. he would have to be watched constantly, habits would be broken, tears would be cried. things would never be 100%, there would always scars and phantom pain, but that was ok.

~~~

a note for my regulars; I'm back, maybe sorta kinda. I've hit a rough patch with my adhd, I can't do thoughts, or social interaction really, but I'm starting to bounce back, so more regular posting may return shortly.

[leftsharkhypocrite]

[natjennie]

holy fuck ghosts has some hardcore lines that actually make me want to weep. I just remembered "I'm sorry you lost the sister you never had" "you're the sister I never had" and I was OVERCOME.

[potatoesarecheese]

oh, nothing. just thinking about...

characters that simply refuse to die

characters where the universe will not let them die, you have one more job, you have one more purpose, you have just one more day that you have to live through- and they keep living because they know that the universe is right.

characters that stand on deaths door for just a few seconds too long, and then turn around. they are drawn back to the land of the living through love and fear and pure spite and the raw, visceral need to live.

characters who stand on deaths door and knock, and are let in for afternoon tea. who are so familiar with death that they can have a friendly chat with the reaper, and then return to the land of the living.

characters that crawl out of their graves hissing and spitting and something entirely inhuman, intent on dying again and dragging as many people along with them.

characters that crawl out of their graves screaming and crying, so full of pain that all they can do is wander the streets and wail. no one listened to them in life, so they refuse to be forgotten in death.

characters that crawl out of their graves hollow and carry their burdens alone. they fill their hollow bodies with someone else's tears and take away everyone's sorrow, because they've already survived this much, they can handle a little more. and by the time they realize they're dying again, it's already too late.