#demian chapter 4

[inferablossom]

Only Emil could talk about falling in love with a girl in a way that somehow makes him sound more gay than before.

He first starts talking about meeting this girl, his "Beatrice" right after leaving off talking about how he's salty about how when he tried to write to Demian he never heard back. When describing Beatrice he repeatedly refers to her as having boyish features. When he tries to paint her the first attempts fail, and when he finally does end up succeeding at painting a face that "pleased him", he realizes it looks like Demian. And then, despite the influence over his life he claims she's had on him, he gets so caught up in musing over the painting and thinking and dreaming over Demian that he completely forgets about her.

[captain-joongz]

Abraxas; Masterlist

Pairing: mafia boss!Min Yoongi x police office!reader

Genre: humour, angst, investigation themes, dark themes, enemies to lovers, slowburn, eventual smut, some fluff

Summary: My downfall ended up being a story in three acts. The introduction, the seduction, the damnation.

Or; Young and fresh out of police academy, I set out to take down one of the biggest gangs in Seoul. I didn't expect the whirlwind my life would become after meeting the one and only Min Yoongi. Caught between two worlds, it was hard to say whether I was pulled down or returned where I always belonged.

Current word count: cca 78k

Warnings: dark themes, talks of illegal activities, murder, sexism in the workplace, brief reader x OC, eventual smut, innacurate description of police work, some slight stalking (reader tailing Yoongi), each individual chapter will have its own warnings

A/N: welcome to my new and very first series! I will attempt to update this every month, so it's done quicker. Hope you enjoy your reading, don't be shy and feel free to interact!

Taglist is open! Let me know if you wanna be added ^^

Act 1;

Ch. 1 | Interlude I. | Ch. 2.1 | Ch. 2.2 | Ch. 3 (I'll try to aim the release at the end of August!) | Interlude II. | Ch. 4 | Interlude III.

"That which is spoken by God-the-Sun is life; that which is spoken by the Devil is death; Abraxas speaketh that hallowed and accursed word, which is life and death at the same time. Abraxas begetteth truth and lying, good and evil, light and darkness in the same word and in the same act. Wherefore is Abraxas terrible."

- 3rd sermon, Seven Sermons to the Dead, Carl Jung

The First Companion | An Old Friend | Boy Warrior |

Act 2;

TBA

"The bird fights its way out of the egg. The egg is the world. Who would be born must first destroy a world. The bird flies to God. That God's name is Abraxas."

- Demian: The Story of Emil Sinclair's Youth, Hermann Hesse

The Prodigal Son | Enemy of an Enemy is a Friend | The Golden Maknae |

Act 3;

TBA

"It is splendid as the lion in the instant he striketh down his victim. It is beautiful as a day of spring. It is the great Pan himself and also the small one. It is Priapos.

It is the monster of the under-world, a thousand-armed polyp, coiled knot of winged serpents, frenzy.

It is abundance that seeketh union with emptiness. It is holy begetting. It is love and love’s murder. It is the saint and his betrayer. It is the brightest light of day and the darkest night of madness.

To look upon it, is blindness. To know it, is sickness. To worship it, is death. To fear it, is wisdom. To resist it not, is redemption.

It is the delight of the earth and the cruelty of the heavens. Before it there is no question and no reply.

That is the terrible Abraxas."

- 3rd sermon, Seven Sermons to the Dead, Carl Jung

Epilogue

[couldtransitionsaveher]

EMIL SINCLAIR from LIMBUS COMPANY

JUSTIFICATION:

"The unhatched egg metaphors. The constant anxiety and insecurity. The Zwei ID art where she looks like a gay librarian. The scene in Hell's Chicken where Ryoshu's team is all women oh and Sinclair too. The cute little Faelantern dress... it is my belief that Sinclair will only reach full self-actualization once she realizes she's a girl. This goes for the Sinclair from Demian (1919) too but I don't know as much about that one." - Anonymous

"okay. where the hell do I start.

Sinclair (Limbus Company) is based directly off of Sinclair (Demian - this will come up in a minute), and is a largely withdrawn, melancholic "boy" whose associated imagery is an egg and breaking out of a shell (again - more in a minute), and characters comment sometimes that she seems like she has an inner turmoil/darkness to her. a couple of her outfits just straight up look like mid-transition fits. her appearance in the album art for the song used in her chapter (itself based on the painting described below) is one of the most #girl things imaginable Sinclair from the source text (Demian)

1. struggles with her parents' expectations for her, and her increasing betrayal of those expectations (leading to such lines as "-at times I didn't want the Prodigal Son to repent and be found again. But one didn't dare think this, much less say it out loud.")

2. becomes friends with Demian who, aside from representing a more nuanced take on the black/white logic of point 1, Sinclair regularly remarks how cool it is that Demian's face is kinda feminine

3. begins to view herself as destined to live between two worlds, the light and the dark, human and inhuman, and, interestingly, "man and woman in one flesh". for all this is treated as a fear it's also explicitly stated to be something she desires

4. stops and thinks one day in college "perhaps I am not like other men?"

5. sees some random pretty girl one day and decides the concept of that pretty girl must be the path to return to the world of light/salvation. she learns to paint just to paint this girl and doesn't get it perfectly accurate but is pleased nonetheless. she becomes obsessed with this painting and stares at it while falling asleep before eventually realizes that the painting actually resembles herself, not as she feels she is but "-what determined [her] life, it was [her] inner self, [her] fate ... what the woman [she] would love would look like if ever [she] were to love one. That's what [her] life and death would be like..." - she eventually burns the painting and eats the ashes, y'know normal "girl who hasn't realized it yet" behavior

6. throughout the entire book she has visions relating to and is tied to imagery of eggs and birds escaping their shells to take flight" - Anonymous

Reminder: Submissions are always open! Submit here!

Did you make your daily click today?

[tortelette]

It is god awful 4 am in the Philippines (insomnia growing worse due to worry) and I have one fucking theory on what fucking Demian said in the epilogue of Chapter 4.

Demian fucking returns to the presence of Dante as the Sinners took a feast for themselves at some restaurant and talks to them about the meaning and true purpose of technology and the morality behind it along with the concept of greed. One line took a fucking slap on me whenever I kept reading his dialogue.

This is...

A "The Little Prince (TLP)" by Saint Exupéry reference said by the Little Prince himself when he met the stranded pilot in the desert.

Back then when I was still studying religious literature and our main topic is TLP, there are many biblical references here and there from the snake who bit him down to the desert where the pilot has been stranded upon for some time. The sheep has many symbolisms back in my lessons, the common ones that I get to see are the spiritual transcendence of the prince, the representation of the truth, and the beauty hidden from reality. Mind you all that the story of TLP is quite imaginative and a sad one that gives the hopeful yet real life lessons of friendship, value, love, and loss. Hence many symbolisms are interpreted here.

Now that I mention those things... what does it have to do with Demian telling Dante to draw him a sheep like they promised to him? Judging from the structure of his tone, it appears that Demian knew Dante before Dante took their clock prosthetic.

Well my theory is that the sheep is the symbolism of "realization" or more likely "seeing the truth of humanity." Dante is a blurry yet blank slate when they saw that they lost their memories yet retained a sense of a trail of their true goal. Dante wants answers (an obvious reflection of decision for a person who knows nothing of the world) in everything around them and they are the ones who let's out the final decision to handle in everything with the Sinner's help. Hence, they take semi-control in seeing EVERYTHING and witness it along with them. So far Dante has saw the lives of four of their sinners (Gregor, Rodion, Sinclair, and Yi Sang) and see how cruel and unfair of the life they went through. Dante sees them all since they resonated as well with the golden boughs and sees a portion of their troubled lives. A normal happening of humanity in The City.

Dante has to draw a "sheep" to Demian, more likely... Dante has to share to Demian the "truth of humanity that they have witnessed through resonance with the Sinners in a refreshed look." In this chapter, it appears that Dante has to share their side of the truth to Demian about Yi Sang's life yet they appear to be at a lost as always. Just like a sheep that strays away from the shepherd's guidance.

Remember Faust's remarks when she stated on what would be Dante's reaction about their decision to suppress the bronze bull when they get their memories back? It is implying for me at least that Dante is a dislikable or negative character. I mean... look at them when we first started the entire game. Demian must have known this too and probably wants to get Dante to draw a sheep for him now that he can have a more "innocent" or understandable outlook about humanity.

In TLP, the sheep (if removing the more complex representations of various literary analysis) is a literal representation of one's ability to appreciate the beauty of all things through the heart despite the appearance. All of the sinner's lives are miserable in some way yet they are still "beautiful" for us because they manage to strive through their problems, they seek on the right of their belief, they live on to face their traumas, and to accept help from others in order to get back up. The disgusting experiences of humanity in The City is a facade that people always see, but the actions they have done that either support or combat those experiences is what makes it beautiful.

The truth of humanity, is the suffering that they have been through.

It would be interesting that Demian has the title of "The Little Prince" as a nod to it.

EDIT: How does my unhealthy insomnia theory get a lot of interactions- I... I am scared.

[roo-bastmoon]

Food for Thought

Beyond the Story, Chapter 4, Page 231:

"Each member faced his own struggles, and in the process, learned more about himself. This passage from Demian encapsulates this period in their career:

The bird fights its way out of the egg.

The egg is the world.

Who would be born must first destroy a world."

Jimin, November 9th, 2023:

[justcallmealt]

📖 and 💕 for the Limbus ask meme!

Aaaah, thank you so much for the question

💕 Do you have a favourite Sinner?

Well, I have some favourites

In usual it's Outis (old woman warcrime let's goooo.) Her vibe is kind of like Moses but not like but... Kinda hatd to explain

Second I think it's Rodya. Queen. That's it. She's smart to not play by the rigged rules, she's cool and cool IDs

And second/third place it's Gregor. Love him. Pathetic. Precious. Lil buddy. That's.

In the battles it's:

R Heathcliff (4 fragile go brr)

Nclair (you need to look at his behavior sometimes, great clashes+ damagigi)

PieRyūshū (first in the mirror dungeons + healing)

Aand Kraust. +10 sanity still a ten sanity

📕 (let's pretend that i found this exact needed emoji)

Do you read any if the sinners original books? Are you planning to do some?

Yeah, I read some. Except that ones that's too long (concentration issue)

Metamorphosis

The Wings

Hell's screen

Demian (kind of. After 3rd chapter i couldn't find any normal documents that won't be after the paywall... Capitalism sucks)

The stranger (veeery cool. Finished in two days. And easy enough to concentrate on)

Now I'm trying to read Wuthering heights. Trying. For 2 months. I'm on the 5th chapter. Key word trying

Problems with:

Odyssey, Faust and Dante's inferno (poesy is hard. My brain is like "what a nice reading you have... Would it be a shame if you could only read one part for some times and forget things so easily, teheee)

Don Quixote and Moby Dick (i really shouldn't watch amount of chapters. It's really made things hard)

Crime and punishment. No. Thanks, that's was enough at school, was not for me.

Dream of the red chamber: I'm kind of afraid of the fact that this book wasn't ended and amount of chapters. Concentration issue strikes again

Also thank you so much for the questions 💚

Have a great day!

[bladelineage]

limbus canto 4 spoilers (like im done w it and im reviewing t)

much better dungeon than 3 esp bc actual abnos and not just inquisitors dressed up as them. fights at the end were incredibly underwhelming and posed 0 threat to me. the mili song was just okay for now (didnt help that they loop a specific part of it until youve advanced phases) but maybe the full release will help. weird implications w demian and dante at the end scares me a bit as in what the fuck is gonna happen now. im happy for yi sang tho. gregor and rodion and sinclair didnt.. exactly get happy conclusions to their stories. i guess sinclair got a better one but now.. yi sang wants to live. and that makes me very happy. i didnt care much for him before but that chapter rlly does make me feel something. still dont care for dongrang tho. idk what that end was. bro i dont feel bad for you. amazing abnos tho and his distortion design admittedly went hard. overall honestly too easy for me but the sanity rework and then retool was much needed. like i dont wanna sound like a bragging jackass i just... didnt rlly have any close calls at all. i think the only time i almost lost someone was ryoshu dropping to 80 some hp (to which the next room had a gift that immediately healed her)

[shiteating]

my thoughts on chapter 4 part 1 under the cut, spoilers obviously, not particularly in depth if at all

sanity changes were ok aside from it screwing 1coin i think people should have just learned how to teambuild. i dont even have n sinclair and i did not use faust. i finished hlf the chapter before the change was rolled over. i actually preferred the difficulty the game actually had challenge and rewarded teambuilding properly.

the amount of filler fights were wholly unnecessary. shrenne did NOT bring 30 fixers with her why am i fighting so many

THIS IS THE PACING I WANT FROM CANTOS. the other cantos just feel rushed in comparison now.

people calling this all filler are stupid.

"yi sang didn't talk" my brother in christ, yi sang was actively avoiding being noticed, not to mention his ties with k corp, it makes sense he was quieter than usual. dongrang literally took us to his lab seemingly as a ploy to get a reaction out of yi sang because yi sang was just not engaging with him (whether or not its on purpose)

ZOMG ITS MICHELLE!!! jokes already old on the onset. already had to sit through "mirror self enoch = demian lel" for 3 months. imagine how tired i am

[unbased opinion about shipping redacted for now, come back later NOT YI SANG RELATED]

sinclair being the group buttmonkey is funny.

i didn't have trouble with 4-20

samjo is really funny i hope he survives and quits k corp to go flip burgers or some shit

the dongrang vs faust (and to some extent vs ran) comparisons in the story are hilarious

if they do all this buildup then make gubo do some blueball shit like sonya did in canto 2 ill be mad

dongbaek is cute <3

shrenne

[boneeatingbitch]

finished chapter 4 of demian it is such a good book

[nwarrior777]

TEMPERATURE OF LOVE comics

Season 2 Ep 8 “The Beginning. At first sight”

TOL is a comics about queers with superpowers.  The main characters - gay duo - one (Brian, fire) is trying to get in control his power, and another one (Demian, ice) is helping his boyfriend. They also have friends - Tamara (teleportation) and Inga (super strength), who are dating with each other.

Tamara and Inga episode! Do you want more? I have the script for 4-episode arc about them! I will try to draw all these soon! Stay tuned!

PLEASE SHARE AND MAKE A COMMENT if you liked it, i need your energy to make more!

Season 1 on tumblr: Click here

Season 2 on tumblr: 1 x 2 x 3 x 4 x 5 x 6 x 7

Read all chapters on Tapas and Webtoon: Click here

Thanks @stingdragon for text editing and inspiration!

Also we have TOL discord! With exclusive wips and teasers! Write me in DM to get the link!

[inferablossom]

In spite of everything, I almost reveled in my agonies. I had been blind and insensible and my heart had been silent for so long, had cowered impoverished in a corner, that even this self-accusation, this dread, all these horrible feelings were welcome. At least it was feeling of some kind, at least there were some flames, the heart at least flickered. Confusedly I felt something like liberation amid my misery.

[emerald-notes]

‘Demian’ by Hermann Hesse - Book Review

Genre: Psychological/Spiritual

Rating: 4/5

Summary: When Sinclair, as a child, first experiences the dark side of the world apart from the bright side he grew up in, he realizes there must exist a balance between the two worlds in his life.

My Opinion: This book literally got me hooked since the first chapter. The writing style is so breathtaking that I had to stop reading from time to time. The first chapter called us all out. How can we call ourselves the people of light when we sleep peacefully at night knowing that our neighbors are out there, suffering in the dark? Throughout the whole book, the aspects of the world and humans are all divided into the two worlds; that is the ‘bright world’ and the ‘dark world’. But of course, one cannot exist without the other. With this mindset, the writer had presented a beautiful coming-of-age story. Another point I noticed worth mentioning is that the learning process from one’s inner self other than what the world has to offer. This way, we can grow as a person with full freedom. Even though there were things which were a little obscure to me, I still enjoyed most of the book. It had taught me things about myself which I was too afraid to admit. Somehow, I found this book to be a life-saver. I still think it is not for everyone though. Some people might find it a little disturbing while others might fail to connect to the moral concepts of it.

Confession Time: I would have probably never read this if I didn’t know that the ‘Wings’ album of BTS was based off this book. And I’m glad that I did because it is one of my favorite albums by them. Being a person who likes to interpret double meanings and metaphors in arts, I found the references of this book throughout their music videos, short films and songs really amusing.

Characterization: I loved the characterization of Sinclair. But about Max Demian, I’m not a hundred percent sure. Sinclair is a relatable character. I, too, can relate to him in terms of his way of distinguishing the good and evil. Another thing about Sinclair I also find in myself is that he’s a bit pathetic. One way or the other, he is always clinging onto someone, be it his parents from the ‘bright world’ or his friends from the ‘dark one’. I loved the fact that when he found himself surrounded by complete despair and evil, it was love that had drawn him back into the world. I loved the author’s way of describing Max Demian, His appearance was so appealing and haunting at the same time. It totally suited the character that he represented.

Quote: “If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us.”

[gerrycoco]

Here are chapter 4 and 5 of the TOL fanfic I’m writing based on @nwarrior777 comic. I’d been meaning to post chapter 4 a while back but hadn’t been sure where my cut off was between these two chapters until I finished them today. 

Hope you enjoy and more should be coming soon hopefully! 

You can also read this fic on ao3

Chapter 4 

The weeks ticked away slowly but surely at the Academy, summer turning into fall and steadily veering into winter. I continued to have the best of fun with Tamara doing all sorts of shenanigans.

With the end of October came Halloween where she snuck us out to go trick or treating when Halloween came around. As we finished up grabbing as much candy as we could, I only half noticed how cold the weather was becoming.

A few weeks later there came the first snowfall, which everyone was super excited about. After a particularly big snowfall most of the residents of the Academy, myself and Tamara included, found ourselves in the outdoor courtyard making snowmen.

Given my nature of not being very good at anything, my own attempts at making a snowman were quite subpar. I could see others not far away snickering among themselves, probably whispering about how ironic it was that someone with ice powers was so bad at stuff involving snow.

I was rather preoccupied by my increasing discomfort at being in the cold to really notice them. Tamara, however, glared in their direction as she joined me after reappearing from having gone to get some extra accessories for our snowmen. "Don't listen to them, Demian," she said, "this isn't a competition or anything, the whole point is just to have fun."

"Yeah I know," I replied, trying to blow on my hands to get them warmer, which only made things worse as with my powers all I did was blow frost over my fingers. It was then that I realized that I didn't have to go about making a snowman the old fashion way. Stretching my hands out in front of me me I tried summoning the snow around me to form into a shape.

"Demian maybe that isn't a good idea," Tamara said, her voice filled with concern, "the doctors told you to be careful about how long you spend in the snow and you already look really cold. I think we should go back inside."

"Hang on, just give me a minute," I managed to reply despite my teeth chattering loudly due to how cold I was. A small crowd of others had come by to watch curiously and I was not about to give them another reason to tease me. Within moments I'd accumulated a pile of snow that I was twisting and bending with frost from my own hands. I’d stopped shivering by then so I ignored how painfully cold I was feeling and concentrated to finish what I was doing.

Soon I had made a full sized snowman, but this time shaped like an actual human. "Tada," I said, with difficulty, now that my whole face felt frozen, "say hello to snow Tamara!" The others all gasped as they came closer to inspect the near perfect snow and ice replica of my friend.

Tamara herself however looked at me, a very stern expression on her face as she grabbed my hand and teleported us inside. Once she was done she dropped my hand and glared at me, looking quite mad. "What were you thinking?! That was dangerous!" she exclaimed loudly.

"What do you mean?" I meant to ask, surprised by how angry she looked. I never got the chance to do so though as everything suddenly went dark.

***********************************************

"You got him here just in time so thankfully he's going to be alright," I heard an unknown voice say.

I groaned as I tried to stir, finding that my whole body was tingling from the sensation of me slowly defrosting. With difficulty I managed to open my eyes, to see that I was in the back room of the infirmary.

"What, what happened?" I asked, the words slightly slurred as my mouth and tongue still hadn't regained full sensation.

"You did something really stupid is what happened," Tamara spat out, angrily wiping tears from her eyes. She then ran out of the room, leaving me alone with who I now saw was a nurse.

“Tamara wait!” I called out. I tried to sit up so I could go after her but realized I was still too numb to do so.

“Woah take it easy there,” the nurse said, putting a hand on my shoulder to prevent me from trying again. “You need to stay lying down for a while longer, your body likely can’t tolerate going into an upright position just yet,” he explained to me. “Right now you need to rest. The doctor should be here shortly to check up on you to make sure you’re doing alright.”

I sighed unhappily but nodded in resignation. The image of Tamara’s face was burnt into my mind as I replayed the scene again over and over again. She had looked so scared and hurt, I felt terrible for putting her through what I imagined was a rather frightening experience.

My wallowing was interrupted by the arrival of the doctor, who I saw was the same I had met when first arriving at the Academy. “We meet again young man,” he said, though he clearly was far from delighted to be seeing me at the present. “That was a very foolish thing you did back there.”

“Yeah I know…” I replied, feeling the guilt weigh on my chest. Added to the fact that I fail at basically everything, I’ve also never exactly been known for being a particularly smart person. Even back at home, my family would usually avoid leaving me alone for extended periods of time.

“It’s a good thing your friend was there and that she was able to teleport you back inside when she did,” the doctor went on, his brows creasing into a concerned frown. He looked over at the monitor I’d been hooked up to and then picked up the chart on my bedside to examine it as well. “Thankfully you hadn’t gone far beyond moderate hypothermia and so your loss of consciousness was likely a form of rewarming shock.”

“I… I didn’t realize it had gotten that bad..” I said, feeling quite scared myself now that the reality of what had just happened was sinking in. “I wasn’t even shivering at the end.”

“Well that’s because shivering is only associated with the milder forms of hypothermia,” the doctor explained, putting the chart down and pulling out a small flashlight from his pocket. He then proceeded to point it in front of each eye and had me follow the beam with my gaze. “We already knew that you would be more sensitive to cold, but it appears now that because of your powers you’ve gone from warm blooded to cold blooded, no pun intended.”

“You mean, like a lizard?” I asked, my brain feeling a bit fuzzy as I tried to process what the doctor was telling me while spots danced in my vision from having the flashlight directed at my eyes.

“Yes precisely, or almost anyway,” the doctor replied, “cold-blooded creatures can’t internally cool themselves off while you have no problem with that. However, like them, you appear to have difficulty with generating sufficient body heat without some external help, which would explain why you progressed so quickly into an increasing hypothermic state.”

I simply blinked at him in response, his sciency explanations were too much for my thawing brain to understand. He appeared to see the look of overall confusion in my eyes and he gave me a small half-smile as he put the flashlight away in his pocket.

“The point is,” he went on, “from now on you will have to take extra special care to make sure you only spend short periods of time in cold environments.”

********************************************* I took the doctor’s word very seriously once I was allowed to leave the infirmary. Not only did I completely avoid going outside, I also made sure to always have an extra warm sweater as well as a hoodie wherever I went. While it might have been overkill, I didn’t want to risk anything happening again.

Mostly I kept to myself as the others gave me looks whenever I was in the common areas or the cafeteria. They had either been there to see me almost freeze to death or had heard about it as gossip spread rapidly around the Academy. I therefore spent the next few days in my room waiting for something new to happen so they wouldn’t be focused on me anymore. Time passed slowly though as I spent it alone seeing Tamara and I hadn’t spoken since the incident.

While normally she was constantly popping into my room to hang out, almost a week went by without me seeing her at all. She had obviously been very upset by my actions and I figured she was still mad at me about it. I really wanted to go and apologize, but, because of her teleportation powers, Tamara was very good at making sure she wasn’t able to be found if she didn’t want to be.

After a few days I decided it had gone on for long enough and decided to park myself outside her room. I figured if I stayed there at one point she’d have no choice but to talk to me. There was always the risk of her teleporting in and out of her room without ever having to use the door, but Tamara could usually only teleport so many times in a day before it started draining her too much and she risked ending up in the wrong place.

I decided then to go and wait outside her bedroom door after dinner time since she was more likely to be tired then and therefore less likely to use her powers to disappear on me. I’d been sitting there for a while, just scrolling on my phone as I waited, when I finally saw her walking down the hallway towards her room. She hadn’t noticed me yet, her head bent and gaze stuck around her shoes, looking about as miserable as I had been feeling.

“Tamara!” I called out, popping her out of her thoughts as her head snapped up at the sound of my voice. At this point she was about ten steps away from her door and I could see in her eyes that she was weighing whether it was worth it to try teleporting past me.

I stood up quickly and walked the distance between us, putting my hand on her arm. “Tamara, please,” I pleaded, “can we talk? I’d really like to apologize…”

She grimaced for a moment then let out a sigh. “Fine,” she replied, removing my hand and going to her bedroom door. I followed closely as she opened it, hoping that she wouldn’t dash in just to slam the door in my face. Instead she held the door open and gestured for me to come inside.

I went and sat down on the chair by the desk while Tamara shut the door before going to sit on the end of her bed. She glanced quickly in my direction before looking away and crossing her arms, visibly still quite upset with me.

I’d spent the time waiting outside her room going through how best to apologize to her, but in that moment all scenarios vanished from my mind as we sat in silence while I tried to figure out the best way to start. “So… I guess I’ll just start off by saying that I’m aware that what I did was really stupid and dangerous and I’m sorry for doing that to you…”

Tamara was silent for a beat before turning to look at me. “What were you even thinking doing that?” she interrogated. “Even without using your powers you’re more at risk when it’s cold, but with what you did you just made it 10 times worse! So what, you just couldn’t help but show off, right?”

I stared at her, surprised for a moment. It hadn’t occurred to me that by using my powers I’d put myself in even greater danger, although thinking about it now it did make sense. “No I wasn’t trying to show off, at least I don’t think so…” I replied, feeling quite uneasy. “I was failing at making a snowman the normal way just like I fail with everything else and then I remembered I have ice powers so, like, why not use the one thing I’m good at that’s actually relevant to the situation for once.”

“You’re telling me you made a snow person that looked just like me and it wasn’t just so you could look good in front of the others after they had made fun of you?” Tamara retorted, looking rather skeptical.

“I mean, maybe a tiny bit,” I admitted, “but mostly I did it because I thought it would make you smile. You’re always doing nice things for me so I just wanted to be able to do something nice for you too for once.”

“R-really?” Tamara asked, her tone now very different.

“Yeah, I just thought it would be funny for you to have a snow twin,” I said, letting out a nervous chuckle.

At this Tamara finally gave me a small smile before it fell away and she suddenly looked quite sad. “I guess I thought you had ignored my warning because you were too busy trying to impress the others. And maybe deep down a part of me was also scared that if it worked you were going to find new friends and wouldn’t want to hang out with me anymore…”

“What? Tamara no of course not…” I replied, getting up from the chair and going to sit down next to her on the bed. “You’re my best friend Tamara, you’re my only friend really. You’re also the reason nothing worse happened since you pretty much saved my life by teleporting us back inside when you did.”

“Damn right I did,” Tamara retorted with a smirk. “I hope you learned your lesson because I might not always be there to save your butt.”

“Oh don’t worry, I don’t plan on making the same mistake again,” I laughed. Tamara gave me a real smile this time and leaned over to hug me tightly.

“Okay enough talk about snow and ice now, how about we go get some hot cocoa?” I suggested.

“Good idea,” Tamara replied before teleporting us out of her room.

Chapter 5 

While I was quite happy to be hanging out with Tamara once again, our time together afterwards was somewhat short lived. Her one year at the Academy was coming to an end and shortly before Christmas she returned home to her family. Thankfully, during the holidays, the Academy made special allowances where they hosted an annual Christmas party and other fun events for family and friends. With this I was kept well occupied up until New Years after which things went back to normal, leaving me to find myself mostly alone once again.

I was able to see my family during visiting weeks of course, but I still wasn’t having much luck in finding any other friends now that Tamara was gone. No one really cared about me when I wasn’t using my powers and ever since my last incident I’d basically decided against doing anything ice related unless it was actually useful, which in the dead of winter it really wasn’t.  

Although my own one year milestone was still a good few months away, I figured I could start looking at different job possibilities to look forward to once I was able to return home. It was better than dying of boredom in the meantime. After all, the Academy had a department set up for the exact purpose of counseling and preparing those who wished to find themselves jobs once their time was up.

This didn’t end up being the most successful endeavor however. While the counselors were very nice and tried to look at different options with me, they had a hard time finding anything that would be a good fit. I’m not sure what I was expecting really, since by being not so great at basically everything I didn’t exactly have very many employable skills. The other issue is that usually the main solution is to try to find something that works with a person’s specific powers. In my case though, this didn’t pan out much since all the actual real jobs that would hire someone with ice powers involved working in very cold environments, and I was not going to make that same mistake twice.

“Unfortunately the only other option I can find is volunteer work,” Lenny, the counselor who had been assigned my case, informed me. “That means you wouldn’t be paid, but it would still be something if ever you’re interested.”

I left the employment center feeling quite disappointed as I headed towards the cafeteria. It was family visiting day and my mom would be arriving soon. Multiple parents and other family members had already started arriving as I entered the cafeteria and sat down at a table while I waited. A few minutes later I felt a tap on my shoulder.

“Hi mom,” I said, doing my best to smile as I turned to hug her before she sat down next to me.

“What’s wrong honey?” my mom asked directly. “Something is up, I can tell.”

I blinked with surprise at this. I’d forgotten how perceptive my mom could be. “I… well…” I started, going on to explain to her my less than promising visit with the employment department. “So I might not be able to get an actual job once I’m done here…” I added, looking down at my hands, blinking my eyes madly as I tried not to cry.  

“I see,” my mother replied. She reached over to take one of my hands in her own and gave it a tight squeeze. I looked up at her to see her smiling warmly at me. “Demian, just remember that no matter what happens, whether you manage to find a job or not, you will always have a place at home waiting for you,” she said tenderly as her free hand went to wipe away a tear that had slid down my cheek.

I gave her a watery smile as I leaned in to hug her tightly. “Thank you mom, I love you,” I said, sniffling softly.

“I love you too sweetheart,” my mother replied, hugging me back just as tightly. “Always have and always will.

****************************************

After the visit with my mother I felt somewhat better about my future beyond the Academy. Though I still didn’t exactly know how I would ever manage to find a job, I also knew that I couldn’t give up trying.

My mood was also greatly improved by Tamara’s sudden and unexpected return to the Academy mid February. She’d had an unfortunate mishap with her powers, although she hadn’t really wanted to talk about it much upon her return. Bottom line was that she needed to be monitored at the Academy for another year now because of it. While I found that extremely unfortunate for her, I was also, rather selfishly, quite happy to have her back around.

It was only about a month later that she was finally willing to explain to me what had happened. Apparently when she had gone back home she had bumped into a former partner she had been dating not long before she had arrived at the Academy. They stayed in contact for the first little while after she had discovered her powers, however the long distance slowly became a strain on their relationship.

“At that point we agreed it was best to take a break and reconnect once I was able to go back home after my year was up,” Tamara explained to me.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me about this?” I asked, feeling surprised and almost a bit hurt that I’d never heard about this before.

“I guess I didn’t want to get my hopes up too high just in case it didn’t work out,” she replied. “In the end that’s what happened because when I finally saw them again they were dating someone else…”

“Oh Tamara… I’m so sorry…” I said, gently putting my hand on her shoulder.

“It’s okay,” she said, though she had a sad look in her eye. “It was for the best really, I don’t think we would’ve lasted very long in the end. But this happened on Valentine's Day of all days so needless to say I wasn’t feeling great after that. After seeing them together with their new partner I almost ran home, trying not to cry. I tried to teleport back but instead of my room I somehow ended up on Mars.”

“Mars?! You mean, like the planet?” I asked, shocked and confused.

“Yep,” Tamara replied. “Luckily I quickly teleported back to Earth, first in Antarctica and then at the top of the Eiffel Tower. It took a few tries but I finally made it home before coming back here and begging them to put me on blockators. I felt like I was going insane.”

“Wow that’s crazy,” I said, not sure what else to say at this point.

“Yeah…” Tamara acquiesced, her gaze downcast. “I’ve never really been lucky with dating anyway so I guess it’s not really all that surprising. I am a bit much after all and I’m not really dating material…”

“Absolutely not!” I protested, offended that my friend could think so low of herself. “You are funny and adorable and super thoughtful and anyone would be lucky to date you!” I exclaimed, tapping the table with insistence with every new point I added.

Tamara laughed at my display, most of the sadness now gone from her eyes. “Thank you, I really needed that,” she giggled. “But that makes me think, what about you? I don’t think you’ve ever mentioned anything about dating either.”

“Oh,” I replied meekly, now that I was being put on the spot. “I haven’t ever really dated to be honest…”

“Really? Like you’ve never had a girlfriend… or a boyfriend?” Tamara asked, leaving the door open for me to fill in the blank.

I could feel myself blushing at this, feeling a bit embarrassed about the topic. “I, uh… I guess I’m not totally sure where I stand in terms of sexuality… it’s never felt super clear for me and I haven’t really had the chance to figure it out for myself quite yet.”

“That’s okay then,” Tamara said, smiling kindly. “There’s no rush for you to find an answer or anything. And if ever you do figure it out and feel like dating whoever it is will also be lucky to be with someone like you.”

“Thanks Tamara,” I said, smiling back at her.

“Just for the record, you’re great and everything, but you’re not my type dude,” Tamara stated matter of factly. We looked at each other seriously for a moment before both bursting into laughter so hard we were in tears.

**************************** Before I knew it there was only one month left before I was to leave the Academy. Poor Lenny was still doing his best to try and find me a job but unless I miraculously developed an actual useful workskill there was only so much he could do.

Of course I was allowed to stay on at the Academy once my time was up in order to volunteer and help with the newcomers. I would be allowed to room and board there by doing so but it wasn’t an actual job or anything and that wasn’t something that actually paid. Because of the laws and regulations put in place for awakened, there needed to remain a place for them to stay if they weren’t able to return to society for one reason or another. To avoid people taking advantage of that and using it as an easy way out to not have to work, the Academy stipulated that they would not pay permanent/long term residents. Instead it was a barter type system where those who wished to stay had to contribute in some form or fashion according to their powers or abilities.

Some people, both within and outside the Academy, still saw it as a lazy option while others saw it as the epitome of despair. I thought both those views were rather extreme and unfair. However, I also didn’t want to stay at the Academy forever. I wasn’t ready to believe that there was truly nothing out there for me, not yet at least. The only thing that made me feel better was knowing that Tamara was also still going to be around for a good few more months even if I did wind up having to stay at the Academy for longer.

There was also the option of going back home to my parents for a while before coming back to stay at the Academy. That way I could stay with them for a bit and then move back into the Academy the next time I would be coming in for my regular post one year check in to make sure my powers were still stable. As time went on I figured I would go with that option since I hadn't gone home in nearly a year and had mainly seen my parents during visits. That way I would get to spend some time with the rest of my family but also come back to be with Tamara for the time she had left at the Academy.

I was starting to pack my stuff when I heard an unexpected knock at my door. I was confused as to who it could be, since Tamara usually just let herself in at this point. Putting down the shirt I’d been trying to fold I went to open the door, surprised to see Lenny standing there. “Lenny, what are you doing here?”

“Hi Demian,” Lenny greeted me, “I know you’ve been planning on going home soon but I have some interesting news for you that might just change your mind…”

[tabs-notes]

Book Club: Demian by Hermann Hesse

[Originally published on my Medium page: link here]

Rate: 4/5

Time: Can be read in less than a day

Length: Smidge over 100 pages (short)

Demian is a coming-of-age novel of the protagonist and narrator Emil Sinclair. The reader is pulled into Sinclair's psychological labyrinth as it grows desire, fear, confusion, and frustrations with the world and his own being. The underlying themes of the book bringing up age-old discussion and interpretations that reads differently towards every reader. I'd like to say that the first half reads as an autobiography of an ordinary person. The last bit of the novel does venture deep into Carl Jung’s' theory of the collective unconscious, embedding archetypes and symbolisms that would make Jung proud.

I planned to take my time, reading only two chapters a sitting. However, it became impossible to want to put it down. Didn't love Sinclair nor felt particularly any hate for him, I was curious to see where Sinclair ended up; Hesse has a way of introducing a character and wrapping you into them, as opposed to their world or relationships. I will say that I had to double-take when trying to figure out the Emil/Demian/Eva scenes.

Would you need to know psychology to enjoy the book? Nope, it’s a good story for readers that love classics and take pride in discussion (either alone or with a book club!)

Would it help to know a little psychology? Yes, and it’ll take you on a margin scribbling joyride.

Final sayings? Totally PG should be in the school curriculum, and the egg/bird quote is phenomenal

If you've already read it or don't care for spoilers keep reading below.

Concept Spoilers:

TWO WORLDS: At first glance, this concept seems to reflect heavily on religious upbringing that a vast majority of individuals experience. The notion of growing up with preconceived ideologies attach Sinclair to dogmatic judgements of everything from the world, his peers, and even towards himself. While this concept and system of rights and wrongs does hold some foundation, it doesn’t encompass the complexity of the real world. The black and white perspective gets ultimately defeated and rendered useless when the argument of what is forbidden and permitted come up. The individual is in control of the rights and wrongs through their own boundaries, the external enforcement (be it laws or religion) deters back the Lawrence Kohlberg’s first level of cognitive development.

DEMIAN: Theres an interesting push and pull throughout the novel, as Demian, this enigmatic characters is a key figure in the development of Sinclair, allows Sinclair to do as he pleases only acting and speaking in pivotal scenes. Arriving with a district interpretation of the biblical Cain and Abel, he embodies the conflict and the temptation of breaking out of the two worlds view. He lets Emil retreat into his safe heaven after rescuing him from Franz’ tormenting, withdrawing his thoughts when going too far, and not interfering when seeing him at his lowest point. Guidance is the main word that comes up when thinking of Demian and he plays the role flawlessly.

ABRAXAS: I think the presence of the bird/egg painting and Abraxas is the major turning point in the novel where Emil goes from going through life to seeking a purpose and venturing into and outside of himself. Can write a 10 page essay on just how much I love the quote. The processes of Emil being introduced to his passion and his life goal and desires depends desperately on him breaking free from his past self and world. To be reborn into something new there must be the destruction of the old self/way. Abraxas also has strong attachment towards mysticism, mystery, and exclusivity of acquired knowledge - it is something that is not found by accident, but by intention.

PSYCHOLOGY: The concepts are there and this book provides great points of psychological discussion involving Freuds’ Oedipus complex and the majority of archetypes and symbols in Jung’s Collective unconscious. This shifts a lot of the relationships between the characters to be treated more like symbolic events/theories and personas. It’s would be simple to say Emil love Eva, but it wouldn’t do the novel justice by dismissing many other references that fit into this; such as the great mother, the dual mothers, and the animus-anima. Pick your poison, explore, and discuss.

Noteworthy Quotes:

When poets write novels they are apt to behave as if they were gods, with the power to look beyond and comprehend any human story and serve it up as if the almighty himself, omnipresent, were relating it in all its naked truth. (Prologue, Demian)

When I pictured the devil to myself, I found no difficulty in visualizing him in the streets below, disguised or undisguised, or at the fair or at the taverns but never at home. (Chapter 1, Demian)

He too was a ‘temper’ and moreover my link with the second, evil world with which I never wanted anything more to do. (Chapter 2, Demian)

Therefore each one of us must discover for himself what is permitted and what is forbidden as far as he himself is concerned. It is possible never to do a forbidden thing yet be the real villain. (Chapter 3, Demian)

It was the pattern of my life and death; It expressed the tone and rhythm of my fate. (Chapter 4, Demian)

The bird is struggling out of the egg. The egg is the world. Whoever wants to be born must first destroy a world. The bird id flying to god. The name of the god is called Abraxas. (Chapter 5, Demian)

When we hate someone we are hating something that is within ourselves, in his image. We are never stirred up by something which does not already exist within us. (Chapter 6, Demian)

I have grown accustomed to my inner life, resigned to the fact that I had lost my feeling for the outside world and that the loss of its bright colors was an inseparable part of the loss of childhood and that one must to some extent pay for the freedom and maturity of the soul with the renunciation of those pure gleams of light. (Chapter 6, Demian)

[akimmito]

I’ll still be with you

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Master List

Chapter 4: My Way

If it were any other day of any other month in any other year before that, he would have refused, but it's not any other day, it's the day that Damian Wayne has accepted that he's fed up with being, precisely, Damian Wayne.

His world was shaken a lot since he was ten years old and when the earthquakes under his feet finally stopped, an earthquake destroyed everything he suffered to build. The relationship with Grayson was taken from him, all his efforts were ignored and trampled on as if they meant nothing. His title was a lie, his privileged position a mirage and being of the same blood, a chain that hurt them both.

Maybe we should just go our separate ways.

"Damian?"

"Daemon Rothschild."

"Uh." Drake just turns to the computer and starts working.

Damian, no, Daemon sits on the floor and takes one of the thrown papers, looking at it as if it were an object of real interest. It is a letter written in French, a delicate curved handwriting that says a lot about the lady who wrote it.

CN has not been on patrols for the past two weeks, his father exhibiting erratic behavior near the fifth anniversary of his wife's disappearance, increasingly desperate to get the two prodigies. CN mentioned that N made a successful recovery after four years of illness, a little longer and would have had the same end as E.

P has started an investigation against HM in his civilian identity for child exploitation, psychological abuse and illegal use of military weapons. Your tests and what was rescued from MK's memory were weighty, even if we don't arrest them for their crimes as HM, GA will spend a lot of time in prison and with TK and PG we have talked about the curses, I was even in contact with the man who you mentioned to me, JC turned out to know a lot about prodigies and provided important information to achieve the goal I mentioned you.

I know you will continue to investigate until you remove all the dirt that HM hides, I hope some of that can be used in court. It's been five long years and you don't know how grateful I'm that we met that night.

Come visit me soon, MDC.

The date is of ten months ago. Drake kept this woman, his activities with her, and the whole criminal affair a secret. Only someone with knowledge of the matter could understand whose initials are, but from the things of a certain Gabriel Agreste scattered all over the floor, you can assume that HM and GA are the same person. A type of villain? That is probable. And the chances that this woman is the same in the photographs are very great.

"Entertaining?" Drake turns to him, looking at him with an amused expression. Daemon assumes that he had everything ready just to add whatever name he chose.

Drake never does anything without having everything done beforehand. In those moments it's even reassuring, it means that he took the time to think about whether carrying it was a good idea, that he's not just a dead weight that he decided to drag without knowing what to do with him, that he took the trouble to make it as significant as his own depart.

"Who is MDC?"

"The person we're meeting with. Now, do you want to go back to the mansion or would you rather we go to dinner?"

"You're acting suspicious, Drake."

"I'm not going to risk that your built-in tracker has a damn microphone, mine had one and it was annoying as hell to get rid of it without raising suspicions." He gets up from his chair when the AI ​​is heard, Kolia, deliver a report.

Batman requests a meeting. The Joker has escaped from Arkham an hour ago.

Perfect.

I haven't even gotten a damn message.

Daemon takes out his phone, which only has a message from Jon advising that his things were taken by Alfred. Unsurprisingly, all of Arkham could have escaped, but his father would not revoke his punishment even on his deathbed.

"You will go?"

Drake walks over to a drawer and pulls out a gold ring? Some kind of double ring attached by a wire? Or something like that. He can't see it well.

"My old Red Robin suit will looks good on you, I'm sure. Do you want to disobey his orders? "He gives him a knowing smile and there's a crazy desire in his gaze to spread the chaos he'd only seen in Todd in his best days.

Will life with Drake be like this?

It seems he have made the right decision, there is only one question left to ask.

"What suit will you wear?"

"The one I used in Paris."

Drake leaves the matchbox in an unknown direction, Daemon immediately follows him so as not to lose him. He doesn't know the apartment, if he wants to wear that suit, if he wants to fight on his own terms, he's not in his plans to get lost.

The hidden part that is the main base of Red Robin is as modern as the bell tower, although he has a small suspicion that accessing this place is much more difficult than the cave. He has no proof, but no doubts either.

"From today you will no longer be Robin, take the suit as a simple transition between what you were and what you will be. When I took the old Red Robin costume, I did it because Jason had already worn it and that meant he was no longer Robin, but more importantly, I was no longer bound by the rules that Batman had set me... I was willing to go so far as necessary in my search for Bruce. "

"Makes sense."

Daemon always thought that wearing that suit and calling himself Red Robin only spoke of a lack of originality, of preparation, but it seems that he also spoke a lot about what Drake intended to do from that moment on. It took a year for him to put on a suit again and hit the streets, it took him a month to settle in and then it was only a matter of time before he left for three years.

"Change out. We will go around Gotham and wait for the night. We can find out what B is planning from Jason."

Drake sits down and activates the central computer, Kolia starts asking for identity checks, very interesting questions, but only one catches his attention.

Girl or boy?

"Girl."

Daemon looks at him for a moment before heading to the locker room, intrigued.

Look at the Red Robin suit in his hands, the suit that marked the change of direction Drake took so long ago. And now it will also mark his.

If there is a better version of me.

I will reach it.

Red Robin slides into the back of the motorcycle with Solarhahn, whose colors are predominantly red and gold with a little orange. The costume is magical, it's easy to guess just by looking at his eyes: the yellow sclera and orange eyes with red that stare back at him, surrounded by a red mask that fades into yellow near the edges. His cape simulates wings that start from the arms, those, he identified, can be detached to become (1) arrows and (2) small throwing blades, depending on his intentions. The costume is predominantly dark red with gold parts on the thighs, chest, and arms, the gloves a shade of red that doesn't decide whether to remain red or turn orange. But the most interesting thing is his black hair that melts into red and ends in gold towards the ends, as if it were on fire.

He couldn't help but give him a second glance when he saw it, the gold ring on his right ring finger, almost hidden by the shade of the gloves.

Drake showed him a little summary of the whole situation, the heroes and his role, but it was all too superficial, but enough to capture the significance of the event.

A very dangerous magical matter, too delicate and of which only Wonder Woman was aware outside of Paris, until Drake crashed with the whole thing in his search for Bruce. That sounds like something that would happen to him, he have that kind of luck.

"Don't ask questions. We will answer everything, but later."

Daemon nods and Drake instructs Kolia to report anything to the communications. That's when he gives him a very particular one and the same yellow color that he wears in his suit. He takes it and puts it on before putting on his hood, at which point the older man starts the motorcycle and the doors begin to open.

As they race through the streets of Gotham at dusk, Daemon looks up at the orange sky.

I extend my corrupted hand... towards a heaven that will no longer receive me.

But I know this is the way to save myself.

To find my way.

-------

I liked the name Daemon, it's of Greek origin. So, I was looking for names and I found it, I knew it was that. The other name was Demian, after Demian Sinclair from Hernan Hesse's book, but I decided on the other. Also, Daemon can also mean demon if other meanings are looked up and I see it almost as an inside joke that only he and Tim will know.

It was hard for me to write this chapter, I didn't want to make it sad, but I didn't want it to feel out of place either, I hope I made it.

From here it's only a matter of time before Marinette appears on the scene.

What do you think of how the story unfolds so far?

Tag list: @incredulous-reader @dnsakina

[reiven2017]

Monopoly with me.

Chapter 4.

When she regained consciousness, her head ached unbearably and whined, and her body refused to obey. The pictures before my eyes were blurry and indistinct, and every minute they were extinguished in the darkness. Her body ached unbearably, it seemed as heavy and exhausted as never before, and burning lumps of poison gathered under her skin in places where there were bleeding bruises and bruises. She couldn't move her head, she couldn't even open her eyes, she couldn't do anything. Absolutely nothing. Her unhealthy consciousness threw her up and threw her into some kind of terrifying darkness where sounds came only in distant parts, and colors drowned in darkness. While conscious, when she was thrown out of this state for a split second, she felt a flash of pain and distant voices. These voices were clearly not kind and did not try to help her, on the contrary, the cold completely washed over her entire body and fettered fear. Finally, she woke up from delirium. Her head didn't hurt so much that it was already good , although she felt her body like a corpse. A soft, painful moan escaped Raven's lips, so quiet she wasn't sure if she had made it up. The girl did not know how much time had passed. She closed her eyes tightly, her body still not fully owned by her when, after several attempts, she was finally able to open her eyes. A faint, barely perceptible light fell from a single torch on the wall. He then extinguished, then caught fire again, and his flame was fighting the draft. Raven was lying on the cold floor in the very corner of the small room. On all sides it was surrounded by stone walls, only in front there was a thick black lattice. It was definitely an unfamiliar place for her. And Raven didn't really want to meet him. Panic quickly shocked her veins. The girl tried to move and roll over onto her back. The raven put her hands out in front, slowly and uncertainly leaning on them when she felt the palms of flames douche and the skin burned. She fell heavily and the room was filled with the sounds of her plaintive anguish and quiet sobs. Raven stared at her palms in amazement and felt her hands shake and her eyes filled with tears of despair as she saw her right palm cross a huge bleeding cut. She tried to touch the cut, hoping it would rob her of the creepy mind or the remnants of delirium. But her hopes were not justified, and as soon as her finger touched her palm, she felt something sticky and vile on them, and then the skin, cut and terrifying. Raven jerked her hand back as if scalded by boiling water, and her eyes filled with unshed tears of pain. The cramps and burning from the cut were unbearable. The crow barely sat down, hitting its back hard against the masonry, moaning painfully. Blood gushed from the wound, and before Raven could pour it all over the floor, the girl unwound an old rag over her shoulder and bandaged the wound. When she was sure that this was all she could do, Raven tried to examine. She didn't remember anything. Not how she got here, nor anyone who threw her here. She was clearly sure that the bars were locked and she was being held hostage here. And certainly no one will give it a key so easily. Rachel tried to remember how she got here. The confusion in her head mingled with a slowly approaching panic as tiny snippets of memories began rushing into her mind. She remembered how Zahir was shouting something, and then a huge detachment of guards appeared, someone swung at her, Zahir hit him, throwing a knife into her hand and commanding something, and then, then everything was as if in a fog ... Raven grimaced, her head ached again, not being very happy with so much information. She looked around again, trying to find something. But her gaze only bumped into cold stone walls and a lone torch. It was bad. It was all very bad.

***

Damian's blade cut the air at the head of his sparing tailor with lightning speed, and he heard him growl pitifully, rebounding, gasping for breath. This would be the third person in the last hour who was unlucky enough to stand up against Demian in a duel and after a minute he was moaning in pain and his training clothes were cut to shreds. Damian, with a light movement, put the blade to the man's throat, ready for the next step and his icy eyes looked lazily at the loser.

- My Lord. - the clash of the sword on the armor of Cairo cut the numb silence in the hall as he stood on the threshold of the room with two guards on both sides and bowed respectfully. Damian grunted in annoyance, half-removing the blade from the poor fellow's throat and threw a piercing glance at Cairo.

- I hope, Cairo, it's worth it that I interrupted the training. - Demian said coldly, finally putting his sword aside and to him in silence, as if on command three girls ran up. Two threw an emerald robe over his shoulders, while the other served him a glass of wine. Zakir straightened up and approached the master. His voice sounded dry and cold as he spoke in monotone.

“My Lord, I beg your pardon, but this matter requires your attention. - when the Lord silently nodded to him, Cairo continued. “Last night there was a complete robbery of the House of Advisor Badid and one of the members of this group was caught.

- I think you yourself know very well what to do. I see no reason for my attention to this. - Damian's voice boomed harshly, and people next to him involuntarily shivered. But Cairo insisted on its own.

“I assure you, my Lord, it is worth your attention. - Cairo said conspiratorially, and his eyes seemed to sparkle distantly.

***

Raven absentmindedly awoke from a nap when the clang of metal was heard somewhere from the side and heavy footsteps quickly approached her. She frowned, gray fearful shadows fell on her face and panic ran through her body in a torn layer. Something was happening and this sixth sense of hers told her that it was clearly related to her. She convulsively tried to get up, moaning in pain and leaning against the wall and pressing her sore hand to her chest, and in the other tightly clutching a piece of cobblestone and hiding it behind her back. The crow, under the influence of fear and panic, gripped the stone with such force that its uneven edges dug into the skin. It was the only thing that somehow betrayed her confidence. She shivered and was filled with panic at the thought of what these people could do to her when she was so scared and vulnerable. The blood dried on her body was a kind of warning sign of danger for the girl, but whoever these people were, Raven was not going to surrender without a fight. She stumbled back, straightening, determined to act and clutching the stone in her hands as two heavy shadows appeared in front of the cell's bars and Raven swallowed convulsively.

***

The raven hit hard, unable to keep herself on her feet, and fell to her knees when she was roughly pushed in the back. It still hurt under the ribs, there was something incomprehensible in her stomach and it seemed to be on the verge. Shine. There was still not enough to vomit. Raven threw a menacing look at the guards, mentally cursing each of them before her eyes stumbled upon the mark on their uniforms that everyone dreaded and her eyes widened with horror of realization. The girl abruptly got up and looked around nervously, examining the room where she was, silently pleading with God that her guesses would not come true. It was a huge, spacious marble hall, the size of any other in her life. Everywhere it was surrounded by columns of black marble, and between them there were stained glass windows. Emerald curtains hung from the ceiling, embroidered with gold thread. In front of her, at the end of the room, on a hill, stood a throne, all in gold, with artfully sculpted details and velvet-emerald trim. Behind the throne were huge windows, from the canvas to the floor and the whole room, in various niches and places there were strange plants of extraordinary beauty. The hall literally breathed high cost and wealth and shouted to everyone in the face about his royal title. Fucking shit. The pieces of the puzzle slowly but surely formed in her head and the whole gravity of the situation fell on her with a strong blow. The palace of Lord al-Ghul. And a few minutes ago, she was in the fucking dungeon of the palace of Lord al-Ghul, from where, according to the stories of the old people, no one has ever returned alive. And Raven wasn't sure she wouldn't be one of those poor fellows. Anxiety, mixed with fear, hammered in my chest, and all the insides seemed to be twisted into a wound inside, expecting an inevitable fate. A minute passed, two, ten, and she was surrounded by the same silence and the languishing tension pressed on her, the thoughts in her head nervously screamed at each other, interrupting her common sense and depriving her of all meaning. Her breathing quickened, and her muscles cramped from more and more incoming waves of fear and panic. She needed to calm down and Raven understood that very well. She was left alone and no one except herself would help the girl, and panic and fear for her would not pave her way to freedom, so the Raven exhaled heavily and mentally urged herself to calm down. She was alone and she knew how to be alone. She always saved herself and here and now this should be no exception. She will be sentenced to death. She was caught red-handed at the crime scene and she could not escape punishment, Raven mentally winced and tried to drive this thought away from herself as far as possible. No, she will be alive and well. She'll figure out how to get out of here. She always did that. The main thing is not to show fear or these yard dogs will devour her with giblets and not choke.

The raven mentally tensed, her lips compressed into a thin strip as the guards, as if on command, all straightened and bowed their heads respectfully. The approaching footsteps of several people echoed in the hall. She fleetingly caught snippets of their conversation, when all voices and sounds as if by unvoiced order died down and Raven felt a burning gaze on the back of her head that seemed to burn every part of her body. There was something wrong ... or rather, something was wrong. She felt nothing but this look. Her lungs were chained by fire, and her heart froze in place, as if it would obey orders. The world would have faded at one moment and mixed into a monochromatic mess, sounds, voices of people left, only this strange feeling of warmth remained. But then she was thrown out of this trance and Raven regained consciousness, breathing heavily and trying to restore blurred vision. Footsteps near her intensified, echoing in the head with drumbeats, but she did not pay attention to this, too confused by this flash. Someone stepped forward and stood directly opposite her. Raven lowered her head to the floor, habitually hiding her face in shadow. The man threw a gaze at her, mixed with something strange, deep inside and his tightly compressed lips did not bode well, but he still remained silent.

“This is her, my Lord. One of those thieves. " - for a moment Rachel's eyes widened, and her heart stopped when she heard the word "Lord" as if the first. Lord al - Ghul stood opposite her, carefully examining and only the playing veins on his icy face expressed emotions. The girl felt a strange thrill in the very center of her chest. His icy gaze slid over her, but for Raven he was not so cold, she felt more than felt something tender in it, enveloping and soothing, but immediately, embarrassed by herself, stopped. She should feel fear, panic, and at least in extreme cases aggression, but not as warmth and calmness emanating from his stoic figure of the Lord, recognized as a tough tyrants and dictator.

You haven't even seen his face, Raven! Wake up, you're half way to your grave, you idiot.

- "What's your name?" - unexpectedly for all those present, asked the Lord and his suppressive tone cut off all questions. After a pause, thinking tensely to say her real name or nickname, Raven answered dryly, praying that her voice would not falter. No, her real name has always been something sacred to her, which gave her a certain self-confidence, knowing that it would not be pronounced by anyone except a person close to her.

- "Raven." The lord frowned.

- "I asked about your real names, not about the name of the yard." - the man's eyes flashed warningly in her direction and although Raven did not see it, she felt a dumb threat hanging between them in the air, as a warning sign in case of her disobedience. In a place of fear, she experienced irritation, a strange feeling mixed with a share of protest, against his decree. Yes, she wanted to spit on the fact that he was a fucking Lord and the fact that her fate is now in his hands and depends on her unquestioning obedience, she will not tell him a damn thing.

- "Then, you will have to confine yourself to the "courtyard nickname", Your Majesty." - threw Raven, proud of herself and not regretting a single spoken word. A short, almost imperceptible wave of whispers passed through the hall, and Raven caught the movement somewhere behind her. Fast, firm steps were rapidly approaching her and did not bode well for the girl, and she shrank, ready to strike in retaliation for her insolence.

“Don't you dare, Cairo." - blow, which did not follow. The man froze literally a step away from her, nailed to the spot by the Lord's short command. Raven blinked in bewilderment, too stunned by these words to avoid being hit. Confusion filled her and she was grateful that her lowered face was not possible to see. But then, like a bolt from the blue, another command of the Lord sounded, now addressed to her.

"Show me you face." - Raven immediately reacted to this, demonstratively pulling her naked and the man, whom she understood to be called Cairo, again wanted to teach her a lesson in politeness, but the Lord's hand blocked his way. The man bent over a little, grabbed her chin sharply, seemingly being in a kind of impatience and pulled her upward, opening a view of the girl's face and freezing, but his stupor did not last long, the Lord seemed to be preparing himself for a long time for something remote and understandable only him. His bewilderment, growing brightly on his face, faded as quickly as it appeared. The lord, slowly, as if regaining control and forcing himself, removed his hand, with a short gesture weightlessly passed the back of his hand along the line of her chin, as he immediately fell into place, his icy, soul-chilling gaze returned to its place and he straightened up, his posture again became straight and royal and proud, and the Lord, turning on his heels, without turning around and without throwing a glance, went to the exit. All that he said before he disappeared behind the massive doors was one pitiful proposal:

"Her custody."