#demonizing people of other cultures. and that’s what i’m trying to say and does anybody know a better list of adjectives to get it across

[arthur-r]

does “definitive, universal, and exclusive” make sense as stuff that people apply to definition of humanity?? i am revising my thing to make sure it’s good cause it’s due at 2:40 but i feel like i need a better word than universal or exclusive cause they really seem like antonyms and idk if it makes sense

[whimsicalmeerkat]

Honestly, this rise of "Derek is an anti-hero" makes me scratch my head because where?? He's overwhelmingly good. Is it because he's okay with murder on occasion??? Like, where is the moral greyness? He just shows up, saves people, keeps saving people, and then dies saving people??

His character arc is an internal one, not external.

It could be the uptick in purity culture with all its black and white moralistic thinking. If you believe there are Good People and Bad People with no in between, I guess you would put Derek on the side of the demons. If you watch the beginning of show and see Derek as shady and Scott and Stiles, who were doing way more shady shit, as good and you put them in those boxes at the beginning, I guess you’d get to antihero? I don’t know, but extrapolating from the sort of evangelical worldview I was raised with, I can see how people with that sort of thinking could get there.

I would argue that, in a way, Derek does live in the grey areas of life, but I think that’s a good thing. Life is fucking messy, people aren’t all one thing or the other, and insisting on dividing people up on sides and seeing them as one thing or the other leads to a really skewed perception of all kinds of things.

I just spent five minutes trying to remember what quote was floating at the back of my mind. It doesn’t apply like I thought from the third I remembered, but I’m sharing it anyway since I looked it up.

“Agnes, you’re furious and fascinating and wonderful. You should probably not stab anybody with a meat fork again, but why be nice when you can be Cranky Agnes?”

I kind of lost the thread of what I was saying. It’s been a long week including eight hours of virtual trainings, five of which were with one of the worst trainers I’ve encountered.

Basically, Derek Hale has complex trauma that makes his motives and actions complex, and that’s what makes him a good character. He’s messy, but he always tries to do the right thing, even when life keeps shitting on him because of it. That’s why he’s interesting.

[jonbinary]

Sees you have headcanons for gender in the devildom/celestial relm. My eyes do the anime glasses thing dispite not wearing glasses.

GO ON

-videogamereference

YES YES thank you for asking abt this uhhh i have been dying to post something about it but i wasn't sure if other people would be interested ? since it's fairly niche but uhh apparently you would >.>

under the cut so as not to utterly flood people's dashes with my ramblings but! click if you'd like some unnecessarily in-depth discussion of 1) how the different realms in obey me deal with gender/gender identity and 2) my personal gender headcanons for the obey me characters. this is mostly pieced together from one night when i went all pepe silvia in discord but hopefully its now somewhat digestible. thanks for your patience! 

ok so first of all: all three realms interpret and approach gender differently. i don’t think any of them are inherently wrong or bad, it’s just unique ways of viewing the same concept. i prefer the devildom way of looking at it but to each their own :] it maybe goes w/o saying but trans people are supported in every realm, no matter how they view gender !

GENDER IN: THE HUMAN REALM

obviously, the human realm in the om! universe views gender pretty similarly to how our world does. this is sort of like our baseline, where humans generally view gender on a male/female binary. (tho i do like to think that this version of earth is more welcoming to nonbinary and trans people, just cuz i do like a bit of escapism <3)

ultimately gender in the human realm is the most simplified version we will see. i actually have a small headcanon that MC, regardless of gender, is referred to with they/them because this simple gender structure doesn’t translate over well to the other realms

GENDER IN: THE CELESTIAL REALM

with that in mind, we can talk about how the celestial realm views gender. this gets into the whole ‘what is the gender of angels/god’ which is probably outside my expertise to talk about, but i will anyway! 

the celestial realm views gender as, ultimately, unimportant. what matters about a person is who they are, like one’s willingness to help others. most of the angels present masculine and use he/him, as in the image of their Father. there are some who choose to use she or they or present feminine (or any combo of pronouns/presentation), but they arent necessarily ‘boy’ angels and ‘girl’ angels. 

it’s basically like this:

so what are you?

i’m an angel!

no, i mean, what’s your gender?

i’m a messenger of our Father

ugh, that’s not what i meant. what’s in your pants?

oh, so that’s where my halo went!

transitioning, for lack of a better term here, is pretty rare in the celestial realm, but it does happen occasionally. michael will update the records with their new name if they so choose, and celebrations are thrown heavenwide in honor of the angel!

GENDER IN: THE DEVILDOM

now, on the flip side, the devildom almost...reveres gender? since they’re the polar opposite of the celestial realm, demons tend to hold gender up into the spotlight instead of rejecting it. this is why we see so many demons presenting as men but having feminine aspects (like asmodeus wearing pink off the shoulder tops or the demons’ painted nails). 

for angels who Fall, this difference can be very jarring and hard to deal with when they become demons. expression is important in demon culture! while angels see all others as made in their Father’s image, demons emphasize the things that make them different from one another. fluidity of identity is particularly celebrated!

~

GENDER HEADCANONS: BROTHERS

now here’s the fun part, which is how i interpret these characters! feel free to let me know your own headcanons, i love seeing how others view the same characters :] 

LUCIFER: sure, he’s a demon now, but he still somewhat aligns with the celestial view of gender. to him, a person’s character is much more important than how they label themself. he’s just...lucifer. (agender man, he/him) 

MAMMON: has always considered himself a man! one of the rare instances of someone transitioning in the celestial realm. lucifer helped him pick his name :] (trans man, he/him)

LEVIATHAN: levi my beloved <3 ive shared some headcanons on levi’s gender in this post, as well as in the tags of this post. i think he really likes the freedom of demonic gender identity, and is very fluid (genderfluid, he/she/they/it)

SATAN: looooves fucking with gender, particularly if it irritates lucifer. he’s read a ton of gender theory and would love to have discussions about human gender with MC if they want. feels a connection to masculinity, but not to actually being a man (transmasculine, he/they)

ASMODEUS: loves fucking with gender even more than satan does. had gender with your mom last night ;) super gender non conforming, though most of the time you can’t even figure out what gender he is! basically the definition of ‘gender is a performance’ (nonbinary, he/she)

BEELZEBUB: probably doesn’t think too much about his gender. he was told he was a man so he just kind of goes with it. it’s really important to him to align with a healthy form of masculinity! doesn’t seek out pronouns beyond he/him, but wouldn’t mind she/her or they/them (nonbinary man, pronoun indifferent)

BELPHEGOR: similarly to beel, probably doesn’t think too much about his gender. he knows he enjoys being a brother and a twin, but doesn’t care much beyond that. he used to ascribe pretty heavily to celestial gender theory, but after Falling he’s shifted from gender apathy to like. seeing that feeling as his gender identity itself (agender man, he/him)

GENDER HEADCANONS: SIDE CHARACTERS

DIAVOLO: literally just a guy. like hes just a dude but in a slightly fucked up demon way (nonbinary man, he/him) 

BARBATOS: literally look me in the eyes and tell me this dude isn’t a he/they.  he’s not a man, he’s a butler (agender, he/they)

SIMEON: really subscribes to the celestial view of gender/believes that who you are in other people’s eyes is just as important as who you are in your own! doesn’t really identify w gender in any way since angels don’t technically have a binary to deviate from, but in human terms he is (nonbinary, mainly he/him but she/her ok too)

LUKE: also transitioned in the celestial realm! the brothers tease him, but if anybody misgenders the chihuahua, they should be prepared to eat shit (trans boy, he/him)

SOLOMON: started out as a sorcerer while trying to alchemize testosterone. he’s been living as a man so long that sometimes he forgets he’s trans in the first place (trans man, mainly he/him and occasionally they/them)

[twistedtummies2]

Top 12 Pandora Hearts Characters

Moriarty the Patriot may be my new favorite anime and manga series, but today, I feel like talking about my OTHER favorite manga (and what COULD have been my favorite anime, if it had only gone on longer): a little franchise known as Pandora Hearts. Japan has a huge following for the works of Lewis Carroll, but Pandora Hearts has probably the most unusual manner of reinterpreting the characters. The story of PH is set in a world where human beings coexist with monstrous entities known as Chains: demon-like beings who are all directly inspired, in terms of name and design, on characters from Wonderland. With a few exceptions, the characters themselves do not have the names of characters from the books; instead, it is the Chains they make bargains with, form “Contracts” with, that tell you what character from the stories they are meant to represent. It’s a cool idea, and whether you look at this franchise as a new take on Wonderland, or just look at the characters on their own terms separate from the books, they are all fun and engaging characters who are frequently much more complex than they at first seem. Now, Pandora Hearts is a series with a lot of twists and turns, so I’m going to try and keep this as spoiler-free as possible when it comes to some of the REALLY big twists, but there’s only so much I can do. So if you haven’t read the manga, or at least watched the anime, and don’t want things spoiled, just be wary in case something pops up here you weren’t wanting to know ahead of time. Also, because this is me writing this list, I will give away which characters from the Wonderland stories these characters are analogous with in their descriptions. With that said... “The time has come,” the Walrus says, “To honor them today! So here’s a list of my favorites to lighten up your day!” (pauses) Yes, I’m aware that rhyme was terrible, just run with it. These are My Top 12 Favorite Pandora Hearts Characters!

12. Echo & Noise.

Wonderland Analogues: Tweedledee & Tweedledum.

One thing you need to know about Pandora Hearts is that...honestly, like a lot of anime/manga, in my opinion...it can be rather confusing at times. The lore of this world, partially because it takes so many twists and turns all over the place, is a little hard to follow at times. I’ll try be succinct and as major-spoiler-free as possible, as I said before. With that said, these two are a prime example of how things get twisted up. Echo and Noise are essentially a classic Jekyll-&-Hyde scenario; a pair of separate identities occupying the same body. Noise, also called “Zwei,” is the original personality: a member of the mysterious and dangerous Baskerville Clan, she is, as her name suggest, loudmouthed, crazy, and rather all over the place. Noise is in control of a Chain known as “Duldee,” and the Chain is responsible for the creation of the other personality: Echo. Echo is the exact opposite of Noise: she is quiet, constantly polite, and indeed often seems to be little more than a robot, very emotionless and unnervingly calm, even in the heat of battle. As Echo, she is the unsettlingly loyal servant of one of the series’ chief antagonists, Vincent Nightray, and their relationship is...a little creepy. Vincent frequently treats her like a beloved child or pet, but he also frequently uses her for his own selfish ends, never worrying about nearly killing her in order to get what he wants, and seeming to see her more as an object than another living being. Despite this, the most upset with him Echo ever gets is calling him “annoying” (now, THERE’S an understatement), and Noise herself is absolutely obsessed with him. Their twisted relationship with Vincent, and all the fun that’s had with these two different personalities, is a big part of what gets them a slot on the list.

11. Oscar Vessalius.

Wonderland Analogue: N/A

While most of the characters in Pandora Hearts are easily identified by their Chains, some don’t even have Chains, and thus cannot be readily identified as any character from the Carroll classics. Oscar Vessalius, whom I frequently and affectionately refer to as “Uncle Oscar,” is one of those cases. Now, to be fair, Uncle Oscar is not the most complex character in this series, but he IS one of the most endearing. Oscar is the paternal uncle of our main protagonist, Oz, and considering Oz’s father is...well...a gigantic douchebag of the highest order...Oscar really is more of a father to Oz than anybody else in the series. Oscar is unflappably encouraging and jolly, and extremely protective and caring when it comes to his family. He’s always there to support Oz and his friends, tries his best to get along with everybody, and generally speaking brightens up every single scene he has. Despite this, Oscar does have a bit of a sly and sneaky side to him, as well as a slightly lecherous leaning in some cases, which keep him from being too perfect or one-note a character. While he has no direct ties to Wonderland, some have suggested that he MIGHT be inspired by Lewis Carroll himself, and there are a few subtle things that could suggest that...but either way, he’s ultimately a purely original character, and of those ranks, he’s easily one of the best.

10. Reim Lunettes.

Wonderland Analogue: March Hare.

Reim, sometimes called “Liam,” is the best friend of Xerxes Break and one of the most notable members of Pandora: a not-so-secret organization dedicated to the study of Chains and the protection of the world. Sort of a Victorian-styled Men in Black, if you will. (pauses) The Will Smith Men in Black, I should say. ANYWAY, an interesting thing I’ve noticed with many interpretations of the March Hare in Japanese culture is they tend to make him a somewhat more serious and more easily flustered character than the Mad Hatter. Reim is no exception: he’s a panicky workaholic who is frequently the butt of other people’s jokes, and tries to treat things with a no-nonsense demeanor, taking his job extremely seriously and always worried about what’s best for his employers. In some ways, one could argue he acts more like the White Rabbit, but that character is one we’ll get to later. At any rate, while Reim is constantly obsessed with his work, and frequently frustrated by Break’s antics, as well as the shenanigans of other characters, he has a heart of gold and is always there to try and help his friends and colleagues when they most require assistance. His Chain also has a pretty impressive power that one does not expect...but I mustn’t say more, or I’ll spoil something important.

9. Sharon Rainsworth.

Wonderland Analogue: Unicorn.

Another character with close ties to Xerxes Break, Sharon is an interestingly dichotomous character. She’s one of the first people we encounter in this series, and she plays a big part in the story as it unfolds...but in the early parts of the franchise, what’s interesting is that Sharon stays largely in the background. Now, at first, it seems this is because she’s one of the head members of Pandora, and Break is technically her servant; so it makes sense the others would interact more with Break than Sharon. But as time goes on, and we learn more about Sharon, we find that’s not so much the case. Sharon and Break have a brother-and-sister relationship, with Sharon seeing Break as her surrogate big brother, and Break seeing her as his little sister. The problem with this relationship is that Break will do anything to protect Sharon, and at times that can go a bit too far, as Sharon truly wants to be of use to him and prove she’s just as powerful as he is or any other major member of the team. Indeed, her Chain, Equus the Black Unicorn, has many impressive abilities, including being able to open a gateway between Earth and the Hell-like dimension of The Abyss. A lot of this dichotomy is visible in Sharon’s personality: most of the time she’s very demure, polite, sweet, and ladylike. But the more we see of Sharon, the more we become aware of other facets to her personality. She’s shown to have a tough and domineering side to her character, and has some eccentricities of her own. Most notably, she’s absolutely INSANE when it comes to romance stories and romantic situations, and holds both the standards of ladies and gentlemen in high regard. Whether she’s a soothing presence or a downright scary one, Sharon is always an interesting character to return to.

8. Rufus Barma.

Wonderland Analogue: Dodo.

There are a few characters in the frequently twisted-up world of Pandora Hearts who have a habit of constantly keeping you guessing...but the king of mystery, without a shadow of a doubt, is the Duke Rufus Barma. His analogous Chain, Dodo, is able to conjure impressive illusions, and this illusionary skill is only the tip of the iceberg in showing how this man constantly manages to make you wonder just what is going on in his head. Barma lives by the code of “knowledge is power,” and constantly seeks to learn everything he can about...well...anything and anybody he wants. Money and prestige are secondary to him. He’s very soft-spoken and cold, even when angered, and carries himself with a sense of grace that’s rather flamboyant, but somehow not exactly loud or over-the-top in the way some of the other characters can be. His exact goals and motivations are constantly second-guessed, and you’re never really sure what makes him tick or what side he’ll take. You’re never really sure if he’s a villain or a hero. I love characters like this, in general, so it’s ultimately no surprise that Rufus Barma gets a solid spot on this list.

7. The Will of the Abyss.

Wonderland Analogue: White Rabbit.

The Will of the Abyss (sometimes called “Alyss” and sometimes called “The Intention of the Abyss”) isn’t a villain we see a whole lot of. She is the queen of the Abyss; the ruler of everything there. The Abyss, itself, is the home of the demon-like chains: ghoulish entities who feed on human beings, body and soul, and are formed from those who have fallen into the Abyss in the past. The place is described as “a broken toy box” and is a horrifying limbo realm of killer dolls and psychotic puppets. Needless to say, it’s not exactly an ideal vacation spot. The Will is a mysterious and mercurial character; she’s mostly a peripheral villain, since we see more of the Chains she controls than her, herself, and much of what we DO see of her actually comes through flashbacks...but in that overall brief amount of time, she proves to be honestly the single scariest character in the series, as well as one of the saddest. Part of this is due to her mood: the Will can shift from seemingly innocent and playful to screaming like a banshee in a split-second; she can go from crying and sobbing like a sad little girl to being as refined and elegant as a proper queen. And there really isn’t a safe place with her, in any of this, either; sometimes that playful and sweet persona is a good thing, but other times...yeah, it’s...um...REALLY not. Like many Chains, she’s violent and bloodthirsty, but unlike other Chains, there’s some humanity to her and you get the feeling that a lot of her actions are justified. She’s still very much a villain, but she’s also a victim, in a way, and as the story goes on, you feel bad for her and are truly sorry when her part in the series’ events is finished. Whether she makes you whimper with terror or makes you want to hug her and console her, the Will of the Abyss is bound to get a major reaction from you.

6. Vincent Nightray.

Wonderland Analogue: Dormouse.

One of the main antagonists of the series (though not, for the record, THE main antagonist...they actually don’t appear in this top twelve), Vincent Nightray is another character who changes throughout the series. What I find most interesting about Vincent is that he, himself, changes very little. It’s more the attitude the reader has to him, in the manga, that changes. See, if you only know Vincent from the anime, or the chapters in the manga that the anime covers, chances are you find him to be a pretty repugnant person. He’s creepy, he’s treacherous, he’s responsible for some of the most screwed-up things any character in this franchise does, and that’s saying a lot. He’s totally insane, and sort of seems to be aware of it, and seems to have an unhealthy interest in his own brother, Gilbert. In fact, with how disturbing he is, and the kinds of things he tries, you start off thinking he’s the main antagonist...and, for a while, he pretty much is. However, as the series continues in the manga, and you learn more about Vincent - why he is the way he is, and what exactly he wants to accomplish - the more you come to understand him and sympathize with him. Make no mistake, Vincent is a villain; in fact, even he seems to be aware of the fact that he’s sort of a monster. But he’s the kind of villain you come to feel sorry for and realize that, if things had been different, maybe could have turned out a much better person. In a way, Vincent is a foil to the ACTUAL main antagonist. Without giving anything away, the real main villain of the series follows the opposite path: at first he seems sympathetic and endearing, but the more we learn about him and the more horrible things he does, the more we come to loathe him and want to see him kicked in the face a thousand times over. Vincent, meanwhile, we start off hating his guts, but by the time his part in the story ends, we’re sad to see him go, because we understand him and care about him, and realize not everything was his fault. I actually feel a little bad for not placing Vincent higher, but I doubt the characters above him will drastically disappoint. He may have been one of the nastiest characters in the franchise, but if ever proof was needed that Evil is a lonely course to take, Vincent Nightray could provide it.

5. Cheshire Cat.

Wonderland Analogue: Doesn’t need to be given, because IT’S HIS NAME.

Again, the Cheshire Cat doesn’t have a lot of time in the series - he gets one major arc fairly early on, appears in several flashbacks afterwards, and then makes a sudden and unexpected return much later in the story - but that doesn’t keep him from being one of the most fascinating figures in the universe of PH. Cheshire is the reincarnation of an innocent kitten who belonged to a girl named Alice; the kitten was brutally murdered by Vincent Nightray. As a Chain, the Cheshire Cat is steadfastly loyal to the Will of the Abyss, and - at least at the start of the series - dwells within a mysterious realm simply known as “The Cheshire Cat’s House.” The “house” is an eerie Victorian mansion that is literally made up of all of the worst memories the Will has, and Cheshire guards the mansion and the Will herself with ferocious zeal. It’s ironic because this is a very different take on the Cheshire Cat, in general: the character in the book, and most other adaptations, is a chaotic being who shows loyalty to seemingly no one, and while some versions lean more towards good or evil, friend or foe, than others, he ultimately isn’t an obedient housecat. He’s more of an enigmatic agent of madness. This Cheshire Cat is a totally different spin on things. He’s got human-like intelligence, for the most part, and occasionally speaks in a cryptic or evasive manner, but he’s not the puzzling imp of Carroll’s classic. He doesn’t even SMILE all that often...and when he does it’s...well...the most terrifying thing you’ll ever see. But just because he’s a very different take on the character, doesn’t mean he’s still not a good one; Cheshire’s mixture of ravenous hunger (all Chains are so), sadistic ferocity, and childlike adoration of the Will make him a very layered character. Like the Will herself, he can be very creepy and menacing, but he can also be sympathetic and sweet, since he still very much is that loving kitten whose life was cut short. In a very short time, he becomes one of the most standout characters, and despite a relatively short lifespan (so to speak), it’s clear the creators really liked Cheshire, since they tried to find ways to fit him in all over the place. It’s a sign of restraint on their parts, I’d say, that he doesn’t pop up more often throughout the franchise. When he does pop up, he’s a scene stealer, and I was always excited to see him.

4. Oz Vessalius.

Wonderland Analogue: N/A

Our chief protagonist, and another original character, Oz Vessalius is a teenager whose life is turned upside-down when, at his Coming-of-Age Ceremony, a group of depraved cultists send him body and soul into the Abyss. He makes a contract with a Chain called Alice, and escapes the Abyss, only to discover that the very short time he spent down there equated to a full decade in the real world. He is enlisted by Pandora, and the rest of the series focuses on his adventures as he tries to discover the secrets of a cataclysmic event from the past known as “The Tragedy of Sablier” - in which an entire city was somehow sucked down into the Abyss. Oz is an endearing young hero, as his youth is mixed with a curious maturity. At times he’s very silly and almost hopelessly optimistic, but at other times he shows a very fatalistic and calculating side to his personality. Part of this is due to his upbringing, as his father never showed him any love at all, and the best friend he ever really had was his own servant, Gilbert. He didn’t exactly get out much to explore the world. So while he’s lived a very sheltered life, it’s also been a very cold one. Oz works on a philosophy of acceptance, just going with the flow and trying not to let the bad things get to you...but considering he frequently claims his own life means very little to him, it’s very clear the bad things DO get to him. In fact, despite his privileged youth, he puts the lives of others vastly before his own, even when he doesn’t know them all that well. He just doesn’t like to show how much things can hurt him, and tries to press ahead no matter what. It’s a complex sort of way of thinking - being proud and unflinching and yet humble and downright self-loathing, all with a dash of youthful exuberance - and as the series goes on, and we learn more about Oz than maybe even he knows, it only becomes more fascinating. He may not be my favorite character, but he’s a fine protagonist for us to follow, and certainly worthy of high marks here.

3.  Gilbert Nightray.

Wonderland Analogue: The Monstrous Crow...probably.

I say “probably” because Gilbert’s Chain, as well as his own codename, is “Raven,” which is an obvious reference to the riddle “Why is a raven like a writing desk?” I guess it’s possible both were inspirational, but the Crow is an actual creature/character in the stories, so it’s the one I choose to credit. Whatever the case, Gil is one of the other major protagonists in the series, and...this guy is freaking adorable. I know he doesn’t look it, but trust me, he’s adorable. At the start of the series, we meet Gil as a small boy, who has amnesia about his past and works as a servant for Oz. Oz is not only his Master, but his best friend, and Gil will do absolutely anything to protect and serve his “Young Master” no matter what. After Oz descends into the Abyss, Gil - blaming himself - tries to run away...and is enlisted, at a very young age, by Xerxes Break. He becomes a double-agent, working for both the Rainsworth and Nightray households, upon discovering he is actually a long-lost member of the Nightray family. When Oz returns years later, Gil is a seemingly changed man: stoic, stern, always dressed in black, smoking heavily, and rarely speaking. Very quickly, however, we discover a lot of this stoicism is a facade: underneath it all, Gil is very much still a child at heart, and even though he’s grown older, he still sees Oz as his brother and best friend, as well as his true master, and will do anything to protect and to help him. Just as Oz always puts his life ahead of others, Gil’s foremost thoughts are always with Oz and how he can help him, and the lengths he’ll go to in order to keep Oz safe are sometimes touching, sometimes hilarious, and sometimes downright heartbreaking. Gil’s “dark side” is certainly engaging - he’s a crack shot with a pistol, and has a gloomy and cynical sense of humor - but I think what’s most endearing about him are the moments...and there are surprisingly many...where we see the cracks in the armor, and this “seaweed head” shows that he really hasn’t changed as much as he often claims. Whether he’s a man of action or a man of hilarious hijinks, Gilbert Nightray is more than worthy of a place in the top three.

2. Alice.

Wonderland Analogue: Again, IT’S HER NAME.

The secondary protagonist of the series, after Oz, this Alice is a far cry from the little girl we know of from the Carroll stories. At the start of the franchise, we are introduced to Alice as a Chain known as “B. Rabbit” - a title that stands for both “Black Rabbit” and “Bloody” or “Bloodstained Rabbit.” (In fact, her full title is often given as “The Bloody/Bloodstained Black Rabbit.”) B. Rabbit is one of the most powerful Chains out there, and in her Chain form, Alice is a nigh-unstoppable powerhouse ruled by bloodthirst - a maniacal berserker whose morning star chains and massive scythe cleave through even the toughest opponents with ease. However, Alice can also resort to human form, and here she’s much more...well...human. She has the same basic weaknesses a human has, she’s not quite as psychotic (though she DOES have a nasty temper at times)...really, the only sign of her being a Chain is her ravenous hunger. Like any Chain, Alice is ALWAYS hungry, and always hungry for MEAT. Thankfully, unlike other Chains, Alice has no desire to consume human beings. Indeed, while at first she comes across as frightening and intimidating, Alice has a very vulnerable side to her; she’s lived her life without any real friends or family, since the only “family” she has is her twin, the Will of the Abyss...and, to put things simply, they don’t get along very well. Much like Oz, she often feels like she’s undeserving of other people’s care and attention, but while Oz compensates this through being charitable and caring, Alice compensates by over-inflating herself; a classic “superiority complex via inferiority complex” issue. She’s never unlikeable, however, and as the series goes on - and we come to realize that Alice’s true identity, and her status as a Chain, is a lot less cut-and-dry than we might think - she only becomes a more and more fun and fascinating character...arguably more fascinating than Oz. Indeed, it’s really Alice who drives so much of the plot of the series forward, as her whole goal in the series is to find out the truth of her past and regain her lost memories, and it’s through the team’s efforts to help Alice in this goal that so much of the story is told. Oz is really just along for the ride, at least at first. Powerful but not invincible, and easily one of my favorite takes on the title character of the Carroll stories, Alice nabs second place easily…

...But who in the great wide world could take first? That honor goes to...

1. Xerxes Break.

Wonderland Analogue: The Mad Hatter AND The White Knight.

Yep. Two characters. How is this possible? Well, the first thing to know about Xerxes Break is that he wasn’t always called “Xerxes Break.” Once upon a time, he was a knight called Kevin Regnard, who served a noble family; his Chain was called Albus the White Knight. When Regnard’s mistakes led to the destruction of the entire family, he went absolutely bonkers and became a twisted serial killer known as the Red-Eyed Ghost. Ultimately, however, his contract with Albus ended, and Regnard was dragged down into the Abyss, where the Will and the Cheshire Cat ripped out one of his eyes (...yikes…), and plotted to turn him into another Chain. Things get a bit complicated at this point, but basically, Kevin managed to escape and was thrown into another time and place upon doing so. He was taken in by the Rainsworth family, befriend Reim Lunettes, and steadily began to come out of his shell. He took the name “Xerxes Break,” because he felt “broken,” later formed a contract with a very special and powerful Chain known as The Mad Hatter (in fact, one of Break’s nicknames is “Mr. Hatter”), and crafted a whole new personality for himself: Kevin Regnard was stern, work-obsessed, and wore his heart on his sleeve. Xerxes Break is in every way his opposite. When it comes to takes on the Mad Hatter, Break is one of the best; granted, we very rarely see him WEAR a hat, but the personality of the guy speaks for itself. Break often comes across as clownish and childishly hyperactive, constantly eating sweets, performing magic tricks and weird stunts just for the sheer sake of it, prancing around and giggling like a small boy, and even interacting with a puppet he calls “Emily”...which...may or may not actually be alive. However, much of this is a facade, as underneath it all, Break is...well...broken. Not just in body (he’s much, much older and more frail than he often seems), but in terms of his mind; he’s half-crazed and extremely mercurial. Much like with Rufus Barma, Break is somebody you’re never entirely sure of, but in a different way. Break, you see, is very open and honest; he never tells lies and he makes his loyalties and disloyalties very clear. But at the same time he’s very secretive and enigmatic, often speaking in riddles and partial-truths to throw people off. He’s very cunning and intelligent, and a gifted swordsman, and will do anything and use almost anyone to get what he wants. So while he can be extremely funny, he can also be very frightening and ruthless. You’re never sure what’s going to set him off and if the next line he says is going to be a threat or a joke. And as the series goes on, and we see more and more of Break’s vulnerabilities, we only come to care about him more and more, though, at the same time, he always remains an eternal mystery. A riddle with no real answer...just like the Mad Hatter’s from the book. (Way to bring things around, don’t you think?) Whether you look at him as a version of the Hatter, or look at him just for who and what he is on his own terms, he is, in my opinion, the most well-rounded and fascinating character in the whole series, and easily takes the top spot as My Favorite Pandora Hearts Character. Xerxes Break, I doff my own topper to thee. (tips hat)

Honorable Mentions Include...

Elliot Nightray.

Leo.

Jack Vessalius.

Lottie Baskerville.

Lily Baskerville.

Ada Vessalius.

Phillipe West.

[lochnessies]

I like Edelgard though she’s not my favorite lord. I think she’s a cool tragic villain who meant well, but took things too far even in her own route. I’m also one of the few people who ship her with male Byleth, but I must ask. Why the discourse? I started with Awakening and saw Edelgard as a female Wallhart you can side with. Is this the stan’s first FE game? Why is everything so personal in “debates”? Who you like shouldn’t reflect you irl. Edelgard is actually tame compared to series.

I like Edelgard though she’s not my favorite lord.

me too! dimitri is my fave but i like edel more than claude or yuri.

I think she’s a cool tragic villain who meant well, but took things too far even in her own route.

same here. though, i’m of the belief that a lot of her “greater good” talk is a front for her more personal grievances with the world rather than any genuine care for the commoners.

I’m also one of the few people who ship her with male Byleth, but I must ask. Why the discourse?

as for discourse, it’s less about edelgard herself and more on the problem that arises when people bend over backwards to justify, erase, or shift every single one of edelgard’s actions.

“edelgard doesn’t hate the nabateans” except yes, she does.

“edelgard didn’t start a war, dimitri did” no, she attacked the holy tomb, stole actual hearts to make demonic beasts, and attacked students

“edelgard was trying to save flayn” no, that’s the game over scene

“edelgard isn’t bad bc she made the other countries better” no, she didn’t and even if she did the people didn’t want her rule and she had no right to it

“edelgard was sexually assaulted” thats headcanon and a shit one at that and not actually in the game and can’t be used as an excuse for her actions

i like meta but that becomes impossible when people will scream like a banshee when you merely mention the shit edelgard does. i tend to stay to myself and almost never go into the main tag so anybody i get into fight with came to me. bc that’s what happens, you can distance yourself all you like, but if you say edelgard is the villain, people come for you.

and this even effects other characters in the game bc in order to lift edelgard up, other characters must be dragged down and twisted to make her the better option. which leads to shit like

“dimitri is crazy so of course she had to kill him” but he’s not on crimson flower

“claude wanted to make byleth a puppet leader” but he leaves and never makes a move for that

“rhea isn’t human and need to be removed from power” but why can’t she rule the church that originated from her race and culture?

I started with Awakening and saw Edelgard as a female Wallhart you can side with. Is this the stan’s first FE game?

i’ve seen both old and new fans fall for her words so i wouldn’t solely say they’re all newbies even if it seems like it at times.

Why is everything so personal in “debates”? Who you like shouldn’t reflect you irl. Edelgard is actually tame compared to series.

liking edelgard will never make you a bad person. fiction if fiction and liking villains is fine. however, defending racism and imperialism and spreading its propaganda just bc you like some anime girl won’t make people like you.

[beelspillowpet]

So here’s what we aren’t about to fucking do. What we aren’t going to do is come in my friends inbox with shit like this. What we aren’t about to accuse each other of is being is racist. What we aren’t finna do as long as I’m around, is assume people’s intentions without knowing anything about them. What I’m not finna let through is anyone going out of their way to disrespect someone for their character’s design.

You cannot possibly be a black person yourself to assume that a white person is immediately racist because they have a black character. Especially if that skin tone is not what you deem as “black”. I’ve known people personally who are extremely dark skinned. People who stand out in appearance because of how dark their skin is.

As a black person myself, I’m offended that you feel the need to be offended for ME. That you have the balls to come into ANYBODY’S inbox and say ANYTHING.

Let’s also remember; this is a DEMON oc. Skin tone doesn’t always make sense. She could be green, purple, orange, red, fuckin rainbow palette if my friend WANTED HER TO BE. She did not pick black skin and then intentionally ship her OC with that character just to be called racist.

Skin tone does not have much to do with sexuality either, by the way. So don’t try slithering anything like that in your LOUD AND PROUD but WRONG message. Why not put this energy into a TERF or MAPS person? You’re barking up the wrong tree bitch. And don’t tell my friend what the fuck to do either. Who are YOU?? To tell ANYONE WHAT TO DO? Maybe if you came off anon and showed your spine anyone would have an ounce of respect for that, but don’t be a bitch whining in someones box on ANON. That’s some pussy shit.

You can STILL fight for black rights. You can STILL fight for LGBTQ+ rights, and have characters who are or aren’t completely in line with reality. The fun of art is breaking past reality and letting freedom take reign. Are you now the dictator on who is allowed to post what? I don’t think so. You’re just an anon.

If you really think that cute little comment of “I liked your writing” would save you from a verbal ass whooping from a REAL BLACK PERSON then you are sorely mistaken. And if you ARE black, anon, you need to get a fucking grip. Learn about your people and your culture before you come disrespect anybody like that. Block me if you can see this, and block my friend too. We don’t want your nasty, caveman ass, in our mentions or in our inbox or DMs. You’re ugly. Goodbye, sis. 💅🏿

[idreamtofmanderleyagain]

Morality-Focused Frameworks Of Discussion As Acts of Control

This is a post in response to a larger conversation I’ve been having with @eshusplayground. I have a perspective that I think would be really relevant to the conversation but I also don’t want to derail the specific focus of the following posts she’s been making recently.

(Trigger Warning For Abuse Discussion and Brief Mentions of Rape)

---

So I’m in the Hellraiser fandom. More specifically, I’m a Pinhead/Kirsty shipper.

For those of you that don’t know, Pinhead is a demonic torturer from hell who’s design is inspired by the BDSM community. Characters who open a magical puzzle box have unknowingly given themselves away to his violent underworld community of eternal torment and depravity. Hellraiser is a film about romantic and sexual horror, and there’s quite a lot in there about abuse and trauma. Kirsty is a traumatized person, and in my personal opinion, very likely a CSA victim.

And I ship these two characters together.

So the subject matter of my particular fandom is extremely intense and niche and complicated to navigate, although YMMV (I have no trouble with this franchise, but I cannot really handle GOT or American Horror Story, for example). After I grew interested in Hellraiser and integrated into it’s fandom, my perspectives about the way we have conversations about villainous characters started to have a major shift.

I often see people have these intense conversations (and arguments) about where a particular character exists on a moral scale, with the subtext (or outright text) that if they tip too far one way or another, they can be rendered unworthy of their own subgroup of fans within their own fandom. People who love those characters or find them shippable are then subject to moral judgements.

So how does one apply such logic to a psychosexual torture demon?

The answer is you can’t.

The frameworks people online use to have these discussions do not make any sense when talking about my fandom. Hellraiser is a dark horror fairytale presenting disturbing, surreal images and behaviors in order to discuss complex and difficult experiences and perspectives. The monsters within it, like Pinhead, are more metaphor than anything.

Now, my follower count is too low and my fandom is too niche for me to really be on the receiving end of a lot of the cruelty that manifests online about the moral validity of the fiction I enjoy. That said, between the anti-kink TERFS and the younger folks involved in purity culture on this site, I can imagine exactly what it would look like. You know what they would look like.

“You’re an Abuse Apologist!”

“You’re an Abuse Fetishist!”

“You’re reinforcing sexism!”

“he’s an irredeemable torturer, you’re probably okay with literal real world rape lmao uwu”

“This is bad kink representation and you’re complicit in the abuse real men do to women because you like this!”

Now, setting aside the fact that the canon lore context of Pinhead involves him having a human soul brainwashed by a monster god to become what he is, and is also in a roundabout sense “redeemed” in canon, I think most people utilizing this kind of framework would assume that I believe Pinhead can be redeemed in the way online Discourse (tm) means it, because that’s how we talk in fandom about the villains we really like.

I do not want to redeem Pinhead. I don’t think he even needs redeeming. I don’t even see value in that conversation at all. Redemption is not a concept that makes sense for what he is, or what he could become as a character. The framework of Pinhead as a Real-World-Equivalent Human Male Abuser who Cannot Be Redeemed From His Actions would inevitably dominate all conversation, regardless of the fact that it is inherently incorrect and detrimental to real, robust literary analysis of the narrative he exists within and how brilliantly it actually interacts with male on female abuse as a subject. By nature of it’s gross oversimplification and misrepresentation, It ruins the potential for greater, more nuanced and complex conversations.

And that’s the thing: my engagement with this particular story and it’s characters has a lot to do with the potential in the narrative to examine how trauma interacts with love, desire and gender politics. Hellraiser has a very unique way of exploring that kind of subject through a storytelling aesthetic that appeals to me (horror/fairytale, gothic romance, etc).

This is about to get personal, so strap the fuck in.

I am the victim of gendered abuse, in that I had an emotionally abusive step father and sexism was absolutely a factor in why that manifested the way it did. I am also a second hand victim of gendered abuse, in that my biological father was a serial stalker and rapist, and other male abusers (or just self-centered family members) caused severe emotional destabilization in my childhood. I grew up viewing adult men as unstable, selfish children. My family endured a lot, and I came to resent the men in my mother’ life for not taking on the role of protector and nurturer when she needed them most. I had discovered the great lie of traditional masculinity: in the face of real crisis, grown men were not protectors. They did not hold together the domestic space. They abused or faltered and abandoned us. This was a repeated pattern among several men in different roles. I was often left picking up all the pieces, taking on roles as a child that these men could not. I had to have strength they did not.

My experience of desire for romantic intimacy with men and men in roles of stable, nurturing authority now inherently involves a jumbled emotional soup of fear, pain, and a deep longing that comes from a place of feminine vulnerability, a desire to be taken care of instead of being the caretaker.

The narrative of Hellraiser pushes a lot of buttons for me. It speaks to my own trauma experiences in a very specific way. In an effort to further that conversation, I’m trying to create a piece of art (a fic) inspired by the deeply personal feelings this film gives me.

For me, Pinhead represents the Jungian shadow masculine, a simultaneous mix of fear and desire, the potential for suffering and pleasure, and everything in between. These experiences are inherently intertwined for me. And Kirsty’s experiences mirror many of my own.

In other words, in order for me to get out of Hellraiser what I get out of Hellraiser, Pinhead has to be exactly what he is, and everything that he is. Which includes monstrosity. Which includes the potential for change. His place in the narrative must fully, truly embody this conversation I need to have with masculinity, which inherently involves painful, scary things.

Anybody demanding that I either denounce my interest in him as morally offensive because he’s a monster in the full sense of the word (and not just the aesthetic one like what is currently trending in Monster Boyfriend fandom), or force a traditional redemption arc upon him as if he were a real life human person who must repent for his real life sins, are essentially saying that I am not allowed to engage with this work of fiction in a way that is transformative for me. And that’s very unfortunate, because honestly, I think my perspective is so much more dynamic and has so much more to offer.

This is not just about basic catharsis. This is not even a power fantasy about emotionally transforming a powerful (white) dude, or “bad boy” fantasies, both standard arguments for villain stanning that feels like it has never truly represented me or the complexity of my experiences and interests. This is a full-on conversation and act of self expression I want to have through art about the experience of fear and trauma when dealing with men as a woman who desires men.

And I don’t think a person has to be traumatized in order to want to engage with this type of fiction. I want to be clear that my experience is not a justification for my interest (I do not need to justify myself), it is an example of a perspective that gets erased by the framework of these conversations.

To me, the framework of moral validity for enjoying fictional villains and monsters and whatever you please feels incredibly stifling to the complex, dynamic ideas and analysis that I want to engage in, because I, and many people I know, are consistently pressured to structure their thoughts with this framework as the only acceptable baseline of discussion. This is so ubiquitous that when people I’ve known have tried to engage in ways that diverge from that framework, the responses they get are outright confused or direct the conversation right back to the original framework they tried to avoid. Complex conversation gets steamrolled.

Somewhere in the conversation we were all having about acknowledging and discussing abuse and oppression, and acknowledging troubling patterns in media which reinforce the normalization of abuse and opression, some people decided that there was a very serious moral discussion to be had regarding the mere act of liking things which involve dark subject matter and complex, or even monstrous characters. They now argue that there are very clear cut, simple moral frameworks for A) telling stories and B) enjoying stories, and most importantly, that this moral framework is a valid justification for the social treatment and silencing of certain people.

A framework, by the way, which I think is actually not functionally a framework, because like the toxic American fundamentalist christian groups it’s thinking is structured from, it does not account for the vastly diverse moral landscape within it’s own space. There is no objectively consistent body of knowledge anybody is working from, because morals are derived from the human experience, which is inherently subjective.

Interestingly, no where does this have more of an impact than with marginalized people, and people like me, who want to express something deeper and more meaningful in the conversation about abuse and oppression than what this framework really offers us. To be honest, The more I see this kind of conversation making the rounds, the clearer it becomes that it’s a means of control and power game playing. It’s not about morality, but about how morality can be leveraged in order to silence truly diverse and nuanced perspectives and uphold people’s sense of self-comfort. It is a means of supplanting more convenient and easily digestible understandings of these highly complex subjects that require more intensive, thoughtful engagement, especially when it gets challenging. This kind of rhetoric absolves people of making room for complex and diverse experiences, and reinforces an (at face-value) easy to follow set of moral rules of how we are all allowed to think and feel.

The implication of all of this is that if we all adhere to the One True (alleged) Moral Framework of Fandom Engagement, then we will somehow come out on the other side with all the Good People having a Great Time having Squeaky Clean Fun. And I don’t think I should have to tell you at this point how stifling and disturbing the implications of that kind of mentality really are.

 Quite frankly, I think a lot of us are very tired of constantly speaking on other people’s terms.

[thetypedwriter]

Chain of Iron Book Review

Chain of Iron Book Review by Cassandra Clare 

You know, I was actually really irritated when this book came out because once again, the Dark Artifices seems to be shafted for this new series (that nobody asked for) to shine, but fortunately I wasn’t as bothered by it as I predicted I would be. 

In case you are in the small minority of people who haven’t heard of Cassandra Clare and her millions of Shadowhunter books, Chain of Iron is the next nephilim installment in Clare’s never-ending series. 

Chain of Iron is the sequel to Chain of Gold, and the series as a whole is a sequel to the Infernal Devices series, but a prequel to the original Mortal Instruments as well as the Dark Artifices which is the sequel series to the Mortal Instruments. 

I would be surprised if you weren’t baffled right now. 

I’ve said this before for other Shadowhunter installments, but these books are not user friendly for new folk. You genuinely need to have read the other series to get full enjoyment and understanding of these books.

 If you do read them without having read the others, I'm sure it would still be enjoyable to a certain extent, but a large case of ensemble character and relationships will be lost to you and a big portion of these novels are the relationships within them. 

To delve right in, Chain of Iron has our main cast of friendly teenagers nicknamed the Merry Thieves (which I just abhor, sorry, not sorry) return from Chain of Gold after fighting one of the princes of Hell, Belial, and now with Cordelia and James being married as to avoid a scandal of Cordelia’s reputation and James’ criminal record. 

In addition, there is a new serial killer on the loose murdering shadowhunters at dawn and stealing their runes. Most of the book is dealt with trying to catch the culprit, the Consul and Inquisitor along with the whole of adult shadowhunter authority being inconsequential and inept as usual (how these people became parents are beyond me as they never have any sort of clue what their children get up to) along with side plots including raising Jesse Blackthorn from the dead and romance galore in typical Clare fashion that makes you want to rip your hair out because if everyone just communicated and was honest there would be no issues. 

The beginning of the novel is molasses slow.

I’ve come to expect this with Clare’s books. Actually, I think I’ve figured out the formula entirely. Here is is:

Mostly nothing of consequence happens for nearly 400 pages except for character building and small instances of plot 

Intersperse some random demon attacks for flavor 

Everyone is beautiful, everyone is in love, and love is the most groundbreaking, earth shattering thing in existence 

Get into the last 200ish pages and shit hits the fan with action, misunderstandings, and confessions 

Nobody is honest with anybody and lying is commonplace

End the behemoth on a cliffhanger so that the audience is kept in suspenseful anxiety until the next installment 

You can’t see me, but I am bowing right now. 

Genuinely, that is how 90% of Clare’s novels pan out. Obviously, as she has a very successful and long-running book series, the formula works. 

That being said, there are some vices and virtues to it. 

For this book, the beginning was slow. Almost nothing of significance happens for most of it and it's a dredge to get through. 

However, it’s mundane to get through in the same way that reading fanfiction of your favorite characters is mundane. What Clare does for 400 pieces of paper is build up her characters and their relationships. Normally, you would do this interspersed with plot, but not in this case. 

It’s not very conventional, but it kinda works?

I definitely struggled connecting with the characters from this series more than any other of Clare’s novels. The Mortal Instruments, as the original, were beloved if a little cheesy. Then came the Infernal Devices with witty Will, soulful Jem, and intelligent Tessa. Then we got the Dark Artifices, which to me, is still the best as Julian, Emma, Mark, Christina and the others are the most flawed in any of the series and I enjoy that. 

I enjoy that they’re not perfect, I enjoy that they’re devious and conniving. It makes them more interesting and more worthwhile to read about. 

Instead, the main characters in Chain of Iron and the subsequent series are mainly James, Cordelia, Matthew, and sometimes Lucie. I would argue that no one else matters in the book and are just added in for some sugar, spice, and everything nice. 

Some of you might be outraged at this statement. What about Grace? You might say. Or Jesse? Or Thomas, Christopher, Alistair, Ariadne or Anna?

They don’t matter. 

They matter in a very small, plot convenience, fluff ensues kind of way, but not really in any way of substance. Or, at the very least, that’s how I feel. 

Anna is just there to be cool, Thomas is a gay gentle giant with literally no personality, Christopher is so basic and is essentially the Trader Joe’s version of Henry who was better and more interesting as the first, Alistair is a redeemed bully, and Ariadne is an orphan who loves Anna. 

The end. 

Once again, sometimes Clare bites off more than she can chew and I wonder if she just throws these characters in there just because it makes her happy. 

As for our main protagonists, they’re mediocre. Matthew is definitely the most interesting in the bunch and I was jubilant to see him get more screen time this time around. The increasing realization of his alcohol abuse, his feelings for Cordelia, his nonplussed attitude. 

All of it is intriguing. I still don’t like him as much as other protagonists from other installments, but he is by far the winner of this triad. 

James is too perfect, too beautiful, and a worse version of his father. If I wanted more Will I would have turned to fanfiction of the Infernal Devices instead of imagining up his son. The only interesting thing about James is his demon connection which is not even something he does, but rather something that is done to him. 

Cordelia is banal. Once again, she’s too perfect, too brave, and too kind. Literally nothing is wrong with her. She’s level headed, intelligent, forgiving, and fierce. 

Basically, she’s boring to the brim. 

I do think Clare did a better job this time around to include more of Cordelia’s Persian heritage, but it still mainly fell to the backburner of her lackluster and blank personality. In fact, I think James made more of an effort for Persian food and culture than Cordelia did, but I digress. 

Also, a small note, but still with weight, why does Cordelia have eight names??

It bugs the living daylights out of me that in a single sentence she will be called Cordelia, Layla and Daisy. 

Clare. Give the girl one name. My god. 

Actually, as a side note to this side note, Clare is talented at many things, but nicknames are not one of them. EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER IN THIS NOVEL has a nickname and all of them are horrible. I have never in my entire life known a Matthew that has gone by the nickname Math. 

What. In. The. World. 

Anyways, the only other character of note is Lucie. I like and dislike Lucie. Lucie is also boring and her novelist passion is aggravating to me. However, I did like her turn with necromancy and her increasing desperation to save Jesse that drives her to work with Grace and lie to her friends and family was a much-needed note of interest. 

Overall, this book did make me like the characters more than I did in Chain of Gold, but it took a lot of blood, sweat, and tears to get there, more than what I think should have been afforded. If you need to kill 400 trees in order to make me like your main characters, that’s a problem. 

Whatever the method, I do care about them more than I did previously so I suppose mission accomplished. I do think some of the strongest relationships in the book are the romances, but then also the parabatai bond between Matthew and James. 

Matthew and James have one of the best relationships in the book and I’m equally frustrated and intrigued how things will play out with Matthew now having confessed his feelings for Cordelia. 

I do feel like female parabatai get shafted in a lot of Clare’s novels compared to the boys. The coed pairs often do well like Clary and Simon or Emma and Julian. Otherwise, the boys far outrank the girls in terms of bond and friendship. 

Even in this novel, the “friendship” between Lucie and Cordelia is laughable. They barely talk to each other or spend time together and when they do is shallow.  Whereas Matthew and James seem much more involved in each other’s lives. 

That being said, if you noticed I didn’t speak much of the plot it’s because for me plot comes very much second in a Shadowhudenter novel. It’s there of course, and it’s entertaining, but I do enjoy the characters and their relationships more than anything else which makes Chain of Iron  better than its predecessor but still worse in my view than any other of Clare’s novels. 

Plot just doesn’t compare to the soul crushing love and friendships shown between the pages, for better or for worse. 

Recommendation: The Dark Artifices > Infernal Devices > The Mortal Instruments ...and  The Last Hours fall somewhere after the Mortal Instruments and the trillions of side novels that Clare has co-written with other authors and all seem to be about Magnus Bane.

Score: 7/10 

[sssn-neptune-vasilias]

So like, Ironwood’s clearly tumbling down the staircase towards authoritarianism so I just wanted to clarify my points about him because I did agree with a lot of what he was saying during the first couple of seasons up until he decided to completely throw himself off the boat without a life preserver. Also I don’t want y’all calling me an authoritarian (or fascist, Tumblr really doesn’t like to learn the difference between the different kinds of authoritarianisms and just lumps them all under fascism because why take a class when you can just say words?).

1) I think Ironwood was right to bring his airships to Beacon and frankly I think the other headmasters should’ve as well. Obviously no other Kingdom works like Mantle/Atlas- they’re the only one where the Hunter Academy is a direct branch of the kingdom’s military- but SOME protection should’ve been brought from Shade and Haven as well as Beacon. The Vytal tournament was an incredibly important part of Remnant culture, and ANYBODY could’ve seen that as a chance to strike. Any terrorist organization, anybody with a grudge, anybody with an agenda could’ve seen a giant float collessum and decided it’d look better crashing towards the ground. I think Ozpin, Lionheart and Theodore were hugely negligent not requesting SOME kind of military support from their respective kingdoms to watch over the event. Just think about it, that would’ve created FOUR different systems Cinder would’ve needed to hack into instead of one. The other three headmasters didn’t bring security and relied completely on Ironwood to save them when shit hit the fan. Ozpin’s words to Ironwood will always be hilarious to me. “You brought your army to my kingdom James… Use it!” The same army that he swore brought more harm than good? The same army he promised would be ineffective in keeping the peace? Now all of a sudden he’s begging for it? Ozpin of all people should’ve been READY for something like this. He’s closer to Salem than ANYONE he should’ve KNOWN that she would use an opportunity like this to strike. A wounded and defenseless Maiden locked in Beacon tower, a one-woman army infiltrating an SDC tower and leaving no recognizable trace other than a wake of bodies, a breach where “hundreds of people were killed” just weeks before, then Yang’s random and brutal “attack” on a seemingly defenseless student? Ozpin should’ve seen the signs of an imminent attack and acted proactively to ensure the safety of not just Beacon but the world. And instead he was too clueless to even ask for a security detail. He claimed that there was peace in Remnant, and that there was no need to upset people by bringing weapons of war, but peace needs to be defended. The Fall of Beacon was proof of what happens when you wait too long to defend yourself. Bringing in other kingdom’s defenses would’ve also shot one of Cinder’s weird monologue in the foot. She calls Ironwood a “tyrannical dictator” who “occupied an unsuspecting kingdom with armed forces” but if Ozpin had REQUESTED those airships? Maybe not even all of them but SOME? And brought his OWN? It would’ve just been business as usual instead of some kind of “invasion” from a previously adversarial nation. Ozpin’s complacency gave Cinder another nail to shut the coffin with. Did Ironwood overstep bringing ALL those ships without a warning? Absolutely, and whoever’s running Vale is out of their mind for not engaging their defenses to deter those ships before they entered Vale airspace in the first place. Should an equal number of ships all flying different flags have been there ANYWAY to stop something like the Breach or the Fall happening? Absolutely.

2) I think Ironwood’s plan is the right move. Let me clarify, the “tell the world about Salem” plan is the right move. “Unite the world against a common enemy” is the right move. “Expose the enemy for who she is and force her to leave the comfort of the shadows and engage in an actual war instead of the silly chess game proxy war you’ve been engaged in all this time.” If you expose Salem and make her a target, she crumbles. Anyone working for her is a top of the most wanted list, and it’s impossible for her to infiltrate and manipulate behind the scenes as she’s been doing. Her only army is Grimm and the kingdoms have been doing decently against them for centuries. I think Ironwood’s got a good idea, and Ozma was just too jaded by his centuries of life to believe that the world would pull together the way it needed to to band against Salem.

That said, I think Ironwood’s entire plan was a necessary evil. “Pull all Atlesian forces and resources out of Remnant and back into Mantle, to ride out the waves of Grimm that would come to tear the kingdom down after they learned about Salem.” It was a well thought out plan! He had STEPS. He KNEW that people would panic and planned AROUND that! For a “tin man” with no heart, he sure as fuck knew how to account for everyone else’s. Argus would suffer for this, sure, but he left them with a giant fucking jaegar, a Pacific Rim style wall around its biggest weak point, and enough air ships and guns to hold off a small scale invasion. Argus was also a unique situation where it was Mistral’s responsibility that Atlas elected to care for. We haven’t heard of any similar cities like this. He wanted to keep his people safe. And I know that’s a slap in the face to all of the people of Mantle who were living in the beginning stages of authoritarian rule for MONTHS, but I think the ends justify the means here. Ironwood’s plan was never to subjugate his people indefinitely, but to keep them safe until the worst had passed. I REALLY think Ironwood’s plan would’ve worked, and CLEARLY Salem does too, otherwise she wouldn’t be sending the biggest Grimm army ever seen and a whale the size of a fucking island to stop him. Telling Remnant about Salem was and still is a good plan, and drawing his troops and resources back to handle the fallout of it was a smart choice.

3) I think Ironwood is right to try abandon Mantle, and frankly I think he should’ve done it sooner. Ironwood is right, if Salem destroys Atlas, she destroys Remnant’s only hope of defeating her. Mistral and Haven were already attacked by the White Fang and Cinder’s crew without so much as a finger raised against them. Have fun reading the books to find out what’s happening in Shade. If Ironwood doesn’t save A) the power of the Winter Maiden B) the staff of creation, C) the lamp of knowledge AND D) as much of Atlas as he can, we’re fucked, and we’ve already lost the fucking lamp. The WORLD is fucked if we don’t stop Salem. And even KNOWING all of this, Ironwood waited until he had definitive proof that the enemy had already invaded Atlas before moving to leave. Tyrian and Watts were one thing, but Salem leaving her chess piece on his desk without him even knowing she was there? I can’t blame him for being scared. I can’t blame him for wanting to leave ASAP. Frankly I can’t blame him for calling RWBYJNRQOP naive. Saving every individual person down in Mantle would doom Atlas as a whole, and by extension the world. I don’t think I would’ve been able to fight against RWBY for wanting to risk saving everyone, but I don’t think I would’ve been able to fight with RWBY for the chance to take the risk either.

Last season was super political, which was a first for RWBY. Yeah, the writing’s ALWAYS been on the walls that Ironwood would take these steps into authoritarianism, and last episode had him breaking out into a full sprint. He straight up shot a member of his opposition! And that guy wasn’t even EXPLICITLY opposition, he was just questioning how Ironwood was handling the situation! I don’t think anyone can honestly say they’re surprised by this, and it’s super important to not just be against authoritarianism, but actively against it. We can’t condone it and must uproot it wherever it even begins to take hold. That said, I will say that, up to a point, Ironwood’s had good ideas on helping to save the world, while RWBY’ve been cutely optimistic but not very pragmatic in their “save every life no matter the cost” approach. And let’s be real, the show is called “RWBY” not “Ironwood” so I’m fully expecting the narrative to play out in a way that validates RWBY and demonizes Ironwood. I’m fully expecting Ironwood to completely fly off the walls as Salem draws nearer. I’m fully expecting to want to kick myself for agreeing with his motivations during season 7. I’m just writing this so that there’s a clear record of my stance not only for my followers (and for people ready to make callout posts, here you go 😉) but for myself too! So I can see if my stance changes and where I was before. So here you go future Tobias. Good luck!

[sineshion]

Nezumi Character Analysis

UH OH SISTERS! Here I am to write an essay on Nezumi and his relationship and actions towards Shion that no one asked for, but I’m doing it anyway.

SPOILERS FOR THE NO.6 NOVEL

Let me start by saying that Nezumi is a really well fleshed out character, and that a lot of his actions and dialogue have more depth than initially comes across. Nezumi starts off as a character who is very closed off, both emotionally and physically. Gradually over the course of the novel, he becomes more and more open, until we reach the climax of his character while in the Correctional Facility. During Shion and his first meeting, he tells Shion that he doesn’t neccessarily care about Shion’s fate, but that he doesn’t want to feel responsible if something bad were to happen to Shion.

“Do you really? I mean, it’s not my problem what happens to you, but if you end up being wiped out because of me, I wouldn’t like that. I’d feel like I did something horrible...”

I find this dialogue to be very telling and foreshadowing, as comparing Nezumi’s mindset from the beginning of the novel and end of the novel shows just how much Shion is able to change him. Though Nezumi might not say it directly, he is just as drawn to Shion as Shion is to him. We come to learn that he keeps secretive watch over Shion for the four years they are apart, in a silent way of protecting him. We could shrug this off as Nezumi simply “repaying a debt”, as he says again and again, but it is far more than that. Shion offers kindness and compassion to Nezumi during their first meeting, which we come to learn is the first real act of kindness he has received in years. Shion shows love toward Nezumi when he arguably needs it most, and though Nezumi might not want to admit it, he is showing love right back by silently watching over Shion, and rescuing him. From the moment they met, Nezumi has become captured by Shion, much like how Shion says he has become captured by Nezumi.

Throughout the novel, Nezumi goes from showing acts of kindness toward Shion, to then showing hostility. Shion is never afraid of Nezumi’s random spouts of violence, in his what I can only assume to be futile attempts to reject vulnerability. Nezumi projects all of his hatred for No.6 and it’s violence against him onto Shion, which he later comes to realize is wrong, and abusive of him.

“This casual act of kindness, or those cold, dispassionate words from a few minutes ago - which one was he to believe? Shion couldn’t grasp him.”

Nezumi tells Shion to throw away his memories, his feelings, and ties to everyone and everything he knows. He continuously acts cold and hostile toward Shion without provocation, which we learn is the result of the way Gran, an old woman who raised him, warped his mind into being. Nezumi has a very unstable and warped mindset on love, and what it would do to him. He has been raised since the age of 4 to fear it like nothing else, which I find so heartbreaking. It is no wonder Nezumi constantly reacts the way he does both to being touched by Shion, as well as kissed, or just generally loved. Gran tells Nezumi from the age of 4 to view any person who loves him as a literal demon who will kill him, thus creating the mental struggle within himself as he tries and fails to keep from reciprocating those feelings.

“Never sigh in earnest. Never cry. You’ll be taken advantage of by demons. Sighing creates an opening, a vulnerability. If you want to stay alive, keep your mouth shut. Never let anyone see your weak spot. Let your heart warm to no one. Never trust anyone but yourself.”

We are told that Nezumi went against Gran’s instruction simply by rescuing Shion. I suspect that a small part of Nezumi wanted to do this (go against Gran’s orders), though he reprimands himself multiple times for his actions. It isn’t that Nezumi is completely helpless from falling in love with Shion, it’s that he actually wants to be loved by the boy, even if only deep down. More and more, he begins to simply sit around and watch Shion, thinking about how beautiful Shion is, how nice it would be to touch him and how much he wants to have physical contact with him, playing with his hair. He begins to lose his sense of control over himself, leaving the door to his home unlocked without even realizing it, sighing over Shion, and risking his own safety to send messages to Shion’s mother unprompted. When he learns of Safu’s abduction, instead of telling Shion, he begins to think of how if Shion found out, it would result in his death. He compares the loss to the loss of his own family, and of the suffering he would feel if that were to occur. Nezumi has already begun to grow attached. He was attached from the very moment Shion and he met.

“He would be experiencing the same suffering again, of being broiled alive in Hellfire.” “I don’t want to lose him. I would suffer.”

This admission is paralleled to Safu’s in a prior scene, where she admits to Karan, Shion’s mother, that she is in love with Shion. She says: “I don’t want to regret anything. If - if by some chance, he ends up never coming back... I’m going to be the one to suffer for my whole life. I don’t want that. I don’t want to lose him.” Nezumi is falling in love with Shion, whether he realizes it at this moment or not is besides the point. He does not want to lose Shion. He does not want to return to a life of seclusion and loneliness, a life without love. He would and will do anything to keep from losing it. Both Safu and Nezumi are in love with Shion, but I would argue that the difference between them, other than obvious ones, as that Nezumi comes to see Shion exactly for who he is, the love he feels for Shion not blinding himself, but illuminating the entire world, whereas Safu does not. Safu continuously compares herself to the person Shion is yearning for, asking why she cannot be them, why she cannot be the one to get to know everything about Shion.

Despite Nezumi’s efforts to hide the truth of Safu’s capture from Shion, this falls through, and he is warned by Inukashi: “If he’s so precious to you that you don’t want to loose him, protect him to the very end. And do whatever it takes to protect him, you idiot, no matter how humiliating it is.” Nezumi wants to protect Shion, and would and later does do anything to keep him by his side, this dialogue from Inukashi foreshadowing Nezumi’s vulnerability and the swallowing of his own pride as he lays everything he is bare before Shion’ feet.

Later, Shion, after finding out that Safu is in danger, confesses all of his feelings to Nezumi, in what he assumes will be the last time they see one another. He kisses Nezumi goodbye, and sneaks out. Nezumi follows after him, and lashes out in a very violent way, and after, saying: “Listen, you’re not allowed to give me a goodbye kiss ever again! Never, ever again!” He tells Shion that this beating is punishment for lying to him, and trying to sneak away, aka trying to die without him. Soon, Shion will turn Nezumi’s warped way of thinking against him in the Correctional Facility, where he will use Nezumi’s reasoning and justification for violence by claiming the two men he attempts to kill are deserving of it, because they have tried to harm Nezumi.

Gradually, more and more, we see Nezumi not only reciprocating moments of intimacy, but initiating them with Shion: “A hand suddenly reached over to him. It was Nezumi’s. It gently pried Shion’s fist open, finger by finger, gently, as if toying with it.” Nezumi still has moments of random bursts of aggression, both in an attempt to continue to keep Shion at bay, to keep from falling more in love, and to prevent Shion from aiding the city or its people in any manner. While Shion admits a love confession, saying: “I’m probably more afraid to lose you than anything - anybody else.” This sparks a fear in Nezumi, at the reality that not only is Shion attached to him, but that he is just as attached to Shion. He’s completely aware at this point of his own feelings. He thinks: “Am I the one who hasn’t known anything all along?” while questioning his past actions, and whether or not he has been seeing Shion in a positive light or not. Nezumi has started to become more self aware through his relationship with Shion, and more in touch with his own emotions.

Once entering the Correctional Facility, Nezumi warns Shion not to lose himself. He promises Shion that they will come back from this together. He isn’t saying this only to Shion, but more so to himself. Nezumi has been captured by the light that he sees in Shion, and though Shion is the one to think that Nezumi keeps him human, it’s quite the other way around. Shion attempts to kill two men, both times Nezumi reprimands him, telling him: “Never put your hands around someone’s throat again!” and “Shion! Shion! Stop - stop, please - Shion, I’m begging you.” and “I want you to stay as you are, Shion.” Shion keeps Nezumi human. Shion is a beacon of light shining down on Nezumi, exposing his own humanity. Time and time again, it is clear that Shion’s humanity and compassion save Nezumi from doom. While Nezumi develops to see the light of humanity and within his own soul through loving Shion, Shion develops to see the darkness in humanity and within his own soul by loving Nezumi. They quite make the perfect narrative foil to one another, developing in an almost polar opposite way. Nezumi ultimately becomes more like Shion, Shion becomes more like Nezumi.

We learn of Nezumi’s past, and of his suffering, in a scene where he allows himself complete vulnerability to Shion, showing him the burn on his back and revealing to us and to Shion how his family and culture were ruthlessly burned to the ground right before his eyes. Shion begins to cry at learning the truth, begins to blame himself for his own ignorance and for Nezumi’s suffering. Nezumi confesses: “I didn’t mean to make you feel guilty. I didn’t mean to accuse you of any crime. I - can’t even imagine wanting to hurt you. I’m sorry.” “Don’t you cry. You were just a tiny kid. You’re not to blame for anything.” He’s starting to drastically change his mindset and perspective which will ultimately lead to him choosing to believe in Shion, to have faith in Shion, trusting that the both of them truly see one another at this point for who they are. Trusting Shion to remain human, and build a better world.

As they begin their infiltration, Shion begins to grow more and more cold and uncaring of human life. As Nezumi kills guards, Shion says that it simply can’t be helped - it’s kill or be killed. This moment is clear in highlighting not only how Nezumi has changed Shion, but how Shion has changed Nezumi. Nezumi is displeased to hear this reasoning from Shion, which is not something he would have thought at the beginning of the novel. Shion is uncaring, which is not something he would feel were this the beginning of the novel. They have both a positive and negative impact on one another, and alwyas seem to take it to the extreme, though it isn’t neccessarily strange given the circumstances and situation at hand. Nezumi begins to see the direct affect his own actions have had on Shion, and how they have begun to warp his mind, much like Gran warped Nezumi’s own perspective on love. He thinks sadly: “Forgive me, Gran. I’ve gone against what you’ve told me. I’ve sighed many times for another. I believed him, and opened my heart to him. I placed the shackles around my own feet. But I couldn’t have done otherwise. I couldn’t cut him away.” Nezumi loves Shion. No matter what he tries, he cannot escape the love he feels for him. He couldn’t do otherwise, because he doesn’t truly WANT to. He wants to love Shion, admitting this to himself now. The seeds have already been planted at this point for Nezumi to begin feeling his own guilt and remorse at trying to change Shion’s personality, and coming to the horrifying realization that it worked. Nezumi didn’t want to harm Shion, or hurt him. He truly and foolishly believed he was doing what was right, what was taught to him. He feels so much remorse at the point that when he is almost killed by Rashi, he entirely gives up the fight. He allows himself a moment of genuine intimacy with Shion, let’s Shion hold him, as he prepares to die with him. Does this sound like something Nezumi would do? A character who preaches survival, is now willing to die with the person he has fallen in love with. He is not afraid, nor angry, nor sad - he simply accepts it. I find this moment to be very telling of Nezumi’s character.

When Shion shoots Rashi, Nezumi, who is already terribly wounded, tries repeatedly to stand up and stop him from finishing Rashi off. It is shocking not just to us, but to him, to see how Shion has changed. He screams for Shion to stop in vain as Shion commits murder on his behalf.

“He didn’t want to open his eyes. If he did, he would have to face reality.”

Despite trying to repress this, he tries to keep Shion grounded, as Shion has already been shown time and time again to be unstable and suicidal. Shion attempts to commit suicide by shooting himself in the head, asking Nezumi over and over if Nezumi and perhaps even God can forgive him for the murder he has committed. Nezumi thinks that it would have been better had they never infiltrated it at all, had he known it would destroy Shion’s mental state so completely. Nezumi, a character hellbent on destroying the government, is now thinking that Shion’s mental health is worth more to him than destroying the city. He thinks, as he starts to have his own mental breakdown, that he is the one who needs to be forgiven, not Shion. He begins to cry uncontrollably, as he mentally begs for Shion’s forgiveness.

“Shion, I’m sorry. I made you bear the burden, one so big it’s making your spine creak. Would I be forgiven one day? Would you forgive me for what I did to you?”

Nezumi is unable to bear the thought that he is the direct cause of Shion’s attempt at suicide. He is forced to confront at this moment his own abusive actions, and all of the brutality he has thrust upon Shion up to this point. He is begging, literally on his knees, to be forgiven. To be forgiven for all of his mistakes, all of his anger, all of his pain and hurt that he has projected onto Shion. Begging for forgiveness at meeting Shion - at coming unexpectedly into his life and, in Nezumi’s eyes, ruining everything Shion is. Nezumi believes he is to blame for everything, and the weight of the guilt he feels is indescribable.

By the time they get to Safu, Nezumi outright refuses to let Shion do anything, going so far as to drag him by force to the elevator, knowing it is too late to rescue Safu. Shion, through his grief, blames Nezumi for what happens to Safu, claiming he used her and used him to destroy No.6. Nezumi plays his part well, and pretends that this is the truth, saying he never believed Safu was alive, which is a lie. He says he deceived Shion, and used him and sacrificed his mind for the destruction of the government, which is also not the whole truth. Nezumi thinks: “Really? Can you really not understand? You’re a liar, Shion. You do get it. You understand every single word. And you’ll never forgive me. You’ll lose faith in me and loathe me. Or would you-“

Nezumi WANTS Shion to love him, and also hate him at the same time. He wants Shion to take his anger out on him. He wants to self sabotage their relationship, and MAKE Shion hate him, by playing a false role, by pretending to be someone he is not. Even when Nezumi tries to shoulder blame that is not his, his true self shines through under the facaude. Nezumi, a character who used to preach that he would only ever fight for himself, now takes a bullet for Shion, trying to sacrifice himself for him. Going directly against everything he has ever believed in.

By the end of the novel, Nezumi, having come back from the brink of Death, and having gone against all of his previous rules, confesses to Shion that Shion scares him. He is terrified of Shion, or more specifically, of Shion’s love, because it is mutual. Nezumi is in love with him. Nezumi’s love for Shion is in fact so strong, that Nezumi was willing and ready to die with and for Shion multiple times during the Correctional Facility, and many times prior, as well. He’s scared of the way loving someone makes him feel. He’s scared of how it almost got him killed many times, and it would have, had Shion not saved him. He leaves not because of Shion, but because of himself. Nezumi does not understand how to express his love in a proper and healthy way - it’s completely foreign to him. The boy is so traumatized that he’s spent the entire novel both half afraid of and half crazing and actively seeking love. I find it strange when people ask or think that there’s a possibility Nezumi doesn’t love Shion, when his actions so clearly say otherwise. I suspect Nezumi feels unworthy of Shion loving him as well, considering his tendency to self sabotage. I think that Nezumi is very self aware, and by the end of the novel, very in touch with his own emotions. He understands that he must change, and only then can he come back to Shion properly. He understands that who he is currently is not suited for a relationship, and so he makes the maturest call he has in the entire story, by leaving. He kisses Shion, promising to come back once he is ready, reassuring not only us but Shion that he really truly does love him.

Shion had thought that Nezumi was the one who illuminated him completely. That everything became much clearer with him by his side. That “by his hands, I was melted, wrought anew, and instilled with new life.” I find this line to be most applicable to Nezumi, as Shion has instilled him with new life, a new perspective, leaving him forever changed by the love shared and experienced. A line from Safu comes to mind as well, “You feel the same way I do, don’t you? You’re glad you were able to know. You wouldn’t be able to live anymore without knowing what yearning and love is like.”

[bubbelpop2]

Did some research on Lilith!

 Now, if you’re Jewish, or especially a jewitch, you’re immediately cringing. That’s okay, you can keep scrolling, you likely already know these things.

Okay witchy bitches listen up! 

There are a lot of different Lilliths. The one your worshiping is most likely judaic in origin, and although you may respect and love her as a symbol of feminism very much, she’s not Wiccan in origin. Please read this whole post. I’m not attacking you, I just want you to know these things, it’s very important to Lilith that you do.

In some Jewish folklore, Lilith appears as Adam's first wife, who was created at the same time and from the same clay as Adam Lilith then left Adam after she refused to become subservient to him and then would not return to the Garden of Eden, and picked up a new man (angel) : samael. (in christian culture, not sure about jewish culture, samael is the name god originally gave to lucifer to represent his love for him, before he rebelled)

Interpretations of Lilith found in later Jewish materials are plentiful, but little information has survived relating to the Sumerian, Akkadian, Assyrian and Babylonian view of this class of demons. Meaning: the exact origins and first written appearances of Lilith are not very bounteous, and their exact place where they came from is generally in the area where Judaism thrived, but that’s all most people know.

Now that you know that she’s a figure that is no doubt jewish in origin: what is she, exactly? Well, now that i’ve got your curiosity peaked, check out this website that contains a lot of accurate information on judaism. This link specifically says what the actual story of Lilith is. 

But, if you don’t want to read it (,and you really should read it, me summarizing it leaves out probably a lot of important citations and details) , this is how I understood the article: Lilith wanted to break up with Adam, The Big G didn’t want her to and sent three angels to take her back to Adam, and they three threatened her like “If you don’t come back, 100 of your children will die each day.” and she was like “You know what? Okay, not just 100 babies, I’ll kill babies myself if it makes you leave me alone. AND fuck their dads. I’m not going back to Adam and you can’t make me.” and never came back. Which many scholars believe to be a myth made to explain the mass amounts of miscarriages back in the day. 

What she is: a jewish demon. she’s not a goddess. Judaism is a closed religion, and by worshiping her as a goddess (which she is not) you’re bastardizing and tainting the image of a demon in judaism. That being said, since it’s a closed religion, whether or not a jewish person can worship her as a demon, and not a goddess, is up to them. And you, especially if you’re not Jewish, cannot participate, even if you’re worshipping her as a demon and not a goddess. You can, however, like and respect the fact that she’s an image of not suppressing your femininity for anybody, and that you’re beautiful for yourself, not men. You can like that message, and you can also support jewitches who do worship her, but you cannot participate, it’s against the jewish religion for non-jewish people to participate.

My opinion on witches worshiping Lilith? Don’t. She wasn’t your story, and you can’t steal a figure from judaism and deny she was from it in the first place. Yes, you can respect her as a figure of women not bowing to anybody and not owing their bodies to people, but, no, most of the things you’ve heard about her from other witches are likely not true. Get your info from jewish sources before you claim she’s not jewish. There’s a far better explanation by someone who’s actually jewish right here. It states:

Lilith is a Jewish demon, or sheyd, that comes from Midrash. Midrash is biblical exegesis created by Jewish people. Jewish texts like this aren’t scriptures that Jews and other religions share, so when Christians decided in their demonology to include Lilith, it was totally removed from context and a bastardization - because we don’t have a Lucifer who’s a devil ruling hell, type thing. 

So when I see people say “I worship the goddess Lilith, first wife of Adam”. What that tells me is 1) you do not understand in that mythological context of Midrash, she’s not a goddess - at all. So you didn’t care to understand her background. 2) You didn’t realize Judaism is a closed practice and culture, and 3) You don’t care about Jews because you see all monotheists as “some sort of xtian” which is so far from the truth. Jews are not Christians, we do not have that same baggage, and Judaism has been called a “heathen religion” just as much as pagans have.

"So what do I do instead?” 

Excellent question! A lot of witches worship a lot of different gods from different religions. Try greek gods, roman gods, nordic gods, and (respectfully, please do not honor them incorrectly,) hindu gods. The nature of most witches, is to believe in most, if not all deities, and invite them over a form of spiritual tea party, almost. Offering the proper gods their proper sacrifices (mead and bread for nordic gods, wine for roman/greek, ect) and doing proper research into how these gods work and how they want to be interacted with. Witches that do this often call themselves wiccan, or neopagan, or heretics. 

But there are also a variety of athiest witches as well! Just because you’re a witch does NOT mean you’re wiccan, or that every witch has one single set of beliefs.

 Me? I’m a moon witch! I believe that the moon is a spiritual entity capable of intelligent and loving communication with human kind. Not just the hunk of rock.

“I.. didn’t know that I could hurt people like that. How do I make it better now? I may as well continue, I’m already guilty!” 

Hey guys? It’s okay. Apologize to Lilith, she’ll forgive you. She understands that people make mistakes. Respect her and her origins by apologizing to her personally, understanding that she’s not a goddess, and ask her for forgiveness. She understands, it’s okay.

[herald-of-dirthamen]

@liliumsunshine​ said: May I ask why?

Honestly... where do I start.

I suppose, if I were to put it in a very brief way, it’s because the natural instinct is to fear magic and hide it away, unless they can find a way to use it.

I was lucky to be born among the Dalish, where we see magic as a gift, and treat it as a part of everyday life instead of something to be locked away and feared. We’re taught how to control our magic without it being surrounded by fear and disdain, treated not as if we’re ticking timebombs that are doomed to inevitably become a demon abomination and therefore to be watched under lock and key 24/7, forbidden to venture into the outside world unless you either have money or you have extremely special circumstances that require your skill, such as the potential of the end of the world, but instead treated as though we’re people like anyone else who can make their own decisions and will not make a deal with a demon at any chance they get, which we won’t, if we’re treated with basic respect and dignity instead of mistreated at almost every step.

Like... no one is denying that magic is dangerous and requires respect. Magic can be dangerous, precisely like how fire can be dangerous, or even a basic tool can be dangerous, if used the wrong way. I’ve heard people argue that mages think our magic cannot be dangerous, and it’s like-- who are you talking to that even says that? I use magic casually and trust me, I know that it takes a great deal of focus and control, which does get easier with practice, but that’s because you learn precisely how much focus you need to shape Fade energy to do what you want it to do.

Er... I should probably... cut this post. It’s very long, I’m very sorry.

But I guess I’m going a little off-topic there. It’s just. Frustrating because some of these people act like we don’t know we’re dangerous, and it’s like... how can we forget that, when we’re constantly reminded of that every step of the way?

It’s just... everyone acts like only mages, or only this race, or only this country can commit atrocities when the fact of the matter is that everyone is capable of committing atrocities, and it feels like they forget that because they think they’re in the right, that they’re doing it for the greater good, that what they’re doing is protecting people at the cost of so many other lives.

Like... gods. There are humans who waged war with my ancestors because my people didn’t help enough. Were worshipping our own gods instead of Andraste. None of them remember the people they’ve killed and most of them don’t care because it was a religious war, an Exalted March, and because we didn’t want to give up our culture and give up our gods, what little of them we remembered, they came and they slaughtered us and they put up statues and memorials dedicated to their prophet in what used to be our homeland and they said it was Good.

...I keep going off topic. I just... there’s a lot and I don’t know what isn’t important and what is so I’m giving as much context as possible, I guess.

It’s just, so much of their fear of magic is rooted in how their prophetess was killed, but she was killed because she was leading a slave rebellion, not because... it’s just... yes, I know Tevinter, ruled by mages, is also a horrible place. I know slaves are still allowed there. I know many of them practice blood magic even if it’s technically “illegal” because they view that as the most powerful school of magic, I know so many magisters there are awful and sacrifice thousands, I know, I know, I know, but there’s a BALANCE that has to be struck, and clearly they’re just as imbalanced as the non-magical countries.

And I know now that... apparently my ancestors, back in Arlathan, were just like Tevinter.

But that doesn’t mean that treating mages like potential abominations, murderers, slave-owners, and so on and so forth is okay. You learn that history. You take that history to heart. And you try your hardest not to repeat it. And you can only do that by knowing the history and the ideas borne in it.

It’s just. Hard for me to not be afraid. People act like it’s such an unthinkable idea that we should be treated like anybody else. “What will you do when they commit crimes? Who should judge them?” I don’t know, gosh, maybe a jury of their peers? Magic and non-magic?

This fear of magic is so prevalent that people have even written books about how to prevent magic from manifesting in your children. Superstition that encourages you to do things like place leeches all over your infant’s limbs, before burning said leeches without breathing in the smoke, and wrapping your child’s limbs in cloth specially blessed by a Chantry sister. Superstitions that encourage you to nearly drown your child showing signs of magic, holding them underwater until they almost lose their breath, saying that if their magic is weak, that the magic will die before your child does. Families are so ashamed of having mages in their family that instead of sending them to Circles, they’ll simply lock them away in their homes and ignore them, refusing to let them even learn how to control their abilities until it’s too late.

It’s so hard not to be afraid when those tasked with protecting the common people from mages - and even if they say they protect mages from the rest of the world too, it can’t help but feel like a lie - do horrific things. Abusing us, blackmailing us, even going so far as to cut our connection to the Fade and rendering us as people who can no longer feel or have desires and barely any self-preservation instinct and can’t effectively say no to anyone and being abandoned and left to die. They kill us for not passing Harrowings where they deliberately summon demons to tempt these mages, and some people are so afraid of being unable to pass that they’d rather just be killed then and there.

In fact, if a Circle is deemed too out of control, too beyond saving, they’re allowed to pass a Rite of Annulment, where they just kill every single last mage, every man, woman, and child, and just... start anew. Because most Circles think it’s better to do that than do anything else.

And templars would raid my clan to drag mages to their Circles, their prisons, or would kill us if we proved to be too hostile, too resistant. I’ve lost family to these raids.

And then everybody wonders why so many mages turn to making deals with demons, turning to blood magic... they’re scared and they’re desperate. They’ve decided that if the world is going to treat them like monsters, if the world is going to always treat them like this, then what hope do they have? What else do they have to lose? They decide things can’t possibly get that much worse. That no matter what happens, even if they were good, that they’d never get to be treated like a person because someone will always find a reason to hate us.

Even if all mages are free of Circles now... how long is that going to last? With the war, even though I resolved it... people aren’t going to just forget four years of templars and mages killing each other, killing innocent people, ruining so many lives because it was inevitable that eventually things would come to a head and explode and now there’s even less of a reason to treat us like people.

It’s. It’s just. I don’t know. People have every reason to be afraid of us but by treating us the way they do, they’re only just... causing a vicious cycle, one that I fear has been going on for so long that it might be impossible to break, no matter how hopeful and optimistic I want to be.

It’s just. It’s funny. I’m one of the lucky ones who was treated like a person worthy of respect when I was growing up, my family celebrated when I developed magic, I know I didn’t experience the worst of things for a mage. I know I was born lucky to not grow up in fear of myself and my own abilities.

But I’ve had to learn how to act in the world outside of my clan, and... so many people want me dead for the abilities I have. So many people act like I’ll go out of control. And it’s... how can I not be afraid? Truly?

I’m sorry, I know this meandered a lot and went to a lot of places. I’m not... much of a professional when it comes to writing. Or talking. And there was a lot that I felt was important to share.

I just think that... at least here, for your average person... they may be afraid of us, they might hate us, they have valid reasons to, but I don’t think they’re ever going to quite understand the terror we feel knowing that they’re never really going to want to see us as people who are just as scared as they are.

[starblazerm31]

Apprentice April Asks #1 Azalea/Imalia

Here are my answers to my Apprentice April Asks #1.  Thanks so very much to @leis-main-blog​ and @verysoftthings​ for sending me asks!  I honestly wasn’t expecting it.  ^^;  I tend to write books about these two, so I made a separate post.

1. The Basics.  What is your character's name?  How old are they?  How tall are they?  Skin color?  Eye color?  Hair color?  Gender identification?

Azalea Larinya Nevra.  30, female. 5'6"; medium skin tone; eyes blue with gold around the pupils; hair aqua to coral ombre; medium length

Imalia Vilyana Gabriev. 36, female. 5'10"; fair skin tone; eyes crimson; hair brown with burgundy ends; very long (art by @carowhitewolf​)

2.  Love Interest.  Who does your character love?  What attracted them to that particular LI?

Julian/Lucio (different universes).  

Julian - she loved how kind he was, and she adored his bumbling.  She was compelled to help him because his cause was right.  He couldn't be guilty, he was too much of a good man.  She really wanted to help him with his own inner demons as well because he didn't deserve to suffer, even at his own hand.  That glorious chest didn't help either, lol.

Lucio - she thought he was overall adorable.  Yeah, he was hot as hell, but it was his personality that got her heart thumping.  He really was brave and skilled, and she had a feeling that not many others had appreciated it much.  Yeah, he had done some horrendous things; but Azalea could see the actual changes happening in him and she knew that he had hope.

Asra.  She had known Asra since she was 15 and he was 8.  They had a good 20 year friendship and she knew him very well.  She fell for him when that friendship veil lifted after the events of The Arcana story and she finally really noticed how beautiful he was.  "He's smart, kind, talented, awesome...AND hot?!  THE WHOLE PACKAGE?!  I'm such an idiot..." 

3. Familiar.  Does your character have a familiar?  How did they meet?

Corva, a white raven.  She met Corva when Malak led her to an alley where Corva was lying on the ground with a broken wing.  Azalea nursed Corva back to health, and Corva refused to ever leave. (image c. Mike Yip)

Balthazaar, a phoenix.  Balthazaar was one of the phoenixes in the magical menagerie at the University of Prakra.  He was ornery, and the handlers had a hard time with him.  Imalia liked how stubborn he was and over time developed a rapport and closeness with him.  The university allowed her to claim him as her familiar and take him home. (image c. Kiss Clip Art)

4. Hobbies.  What kinds of things does your character like to do for fun?

Parquor.  She loves running around, slipping up buildings, jumping over rooftops and sliding down poles.  XD  She's a very high-energy person and parquor keeps her healthy and mentally sharp.  She also enjoys writing.  She will write on just about anything that has her attention at the moment.  Magical theory is one of her favorite subjects, but she does enjoy writing fiction.

Her hobby...is harassing bandits.  She gets perverse joy out of robbing robbers blind.  If she can find the original owners of things that were stolen...awesome.  If not...hey, this is an ancient Drakrian fertility statue!  I'm gonna put this on my shelf at home.  Oh, and leaving off-color messages in ancient languages in ruins.  "Here I sit all broken-hearted..."

5. Hidden talents.  Is there something neat that your character can do?  Tie a cherry stem into a knot with their tongue?  Say any word backwards perfectly?

Azalea is kinda like Sherlock Holmes.  She can look at a person and form their entire story in her mind.  She never uses it against someone; she just uses it to be more friendly.  But if you're annoying her and won't go away...she will scare you with what she has figured out about you.

Imalia secretly loves to sing and isn't terrible at it.  She's one of those people who will sing in the bath, and if someone mentions it, she acts like it didn't happen.

6. Magical talents.  Is there a specific type of magic that your character excels at?  Any magic they aren't so great at?  Or do they actually shy away from magic altogether?

Lightning.  She's good at conducting the currents and utilizing its explosive capabilities.  She also uses lightning as a personal shield while in battle.  She is also really good at enchanting things; like her hair.  She makes enchanted dreamcatchers that actually catch nightmares.  Both Julian and Lucio appreciate this ability.  (Lucio's dreamcatcher needs to be cleansed more often than Julian's)

Fire and Darkness.  Imalia is in tune with fire and is extremely good at using it to its fullest potential; absolute destruction.  As for the darkness...that will be explained in number 12.

7. Interaction.  How does your character typically interact with people?

She is very polite, but not overly so.  She tries to come off as someone you can actually have a conversation with.  Sometimes if she's feeling nervous, she will go into overly-polite mode, but if the vibe starts to feel calmer, she will loosen up.  She is very energetic and sometimes hyper with her friends.

She is ingratiating and very proper until you piss her off.  Then you get things like "Why don't you get a horse, move up to the mountains, and don't bother anybody?  You have the personality of a dead moth." (RIP Don Rickles)  With friends, she's very laid back and frank with what she says.

8. Romance.  What is something that your character and their LI love to do together?  How do they show affection?

Azalea x Julian - They LOVE to read together.  They have spent hours cuddled up together over a good book.  Azalea shows Julian affection with gentle touches, kisses, and koala hugs.  (she really loves how tall he is)  She also makes sure he eats and gets plenty of rest.  More than once, she has brought him dinner to his clinic while he was working late.

Azalea x Lucio - They love to spar.  They are so different in fighting style that sparring really helps them improve their skills.  Also, the prize at the end for the winner is quite nice.  ^_~  Azalea shows Lucio affection by listening to him and holding him.  She also likes to try to out kiss him.  He reaches for her hand, she spins away and plants two on his cheek instead.

Imalia and Asra love to travel the Magical Realms together.  They get into really long and in-depth conversations about the things they see and experiment with how their willpower affects the realm around them.  Imalia shows affection by constant words of praise and sneaky touches and kisses.  The more she can surprise him, the better.  She also keeps a hefty supply of Lapsang Souchong tea at her estate for him and loves giving him little trinkets and things she has found on her travels.

9. Travel.  Does your character like to travel outside of Vesuvia?  How often?  For how long?  What kinds of things do they do away from home?

Yes.  She loves to see more of the world and meet new people and see different cultures.  She will travel maybe once every year or two.  When traveling, she will typically stay away for 1-2 months.  She loves adventure, but she does love her home more.  Azalea loves to learn new types of magic or new methods of spellcasting from different cultures.  She finds that certain techniques make her own magic stronger.

Definitely.  She herself is originally from the northern hemisphere, so travel isn't something new to her.  She gets wanderlust sometimes and has to get out into the world.  She will be gone typically for six months when she decides to travel.  She has been gone for three years before.  She HAS to investigate old ruins wherever she goes.  Who knows that treasures or knowledge lay inside?  She must find out!

10. WTF.  Has anything just...weird ever happened to your character?  Something that made them stop and go "What just happened?!"

She was trying to brew a potion that would allow the drinker to become a mermaid for a short while.  She ended up spilling it on a plant before it was done.  The plant sprouted tiny muscular hairy legs and arms, stood up, walked to the window, shook its fist at her, and jumped out.  Turns out she had forgotten a key ingredient in the early stages of brewing the potion.  Mazelinka made fun of her for a solid week.

One time, she and a rival mage were about to have a battle.  Right before they were to begin, this strange fellow wearing a sentient red cape fell from the sky and landed in between them.  He promptly stood to his feet, apologized for the intrusion, and left.  (Yes...I do mean Doctor Strange fell from the sky)

11. Crime.  Has your character ever been arrested?  If so, what did they do?  Have they ever helped stop a crime?

She has never been arrested, however, she is guilty of petty larceny.  It's not something she does often...just when some jerk needs to be taught a lesson.  They always get their stuff back, but she will make sure they are thoroughly inconvenienced.  She has stopped another thief before.  The thief took the purse of an elderly individual who was trying to buy food.  Azalea scaled up to the rooftops and cut the thief off, holding him down until the guards caught up and arrested him.  She gave the money back to its owner.

Yep.  She's been arrested plenty of times.  Usually for assault and/or destruction of property.  Hey, that jerk deserved to have his carriage set on fire.  She has stopped several assassination attempts on her cousin, Queen Dreen Suval of Seiruun.  She has also stopped dark plots at the Magical University in Prakra.

12. Secrets.  What is a secret your character has?  Are they in line for the throne in a far off land?  Was there this one time at band camp...?  Are they secretly involved in an assassin's guild?

Azalea secretly writes smut.  She loves it.  And her actual hair color is gray.  The aqua-coral is an enchantment.

Imalia actually is in line for the throne of Seiruun; second in line, to be exact.  But she HATES this.  It's why she continues to live in Vesuvia rather than her home country.  Imalia is also no longer entirely human.  During an adventure that went terribly wrong, she summoned the Lord of Nightmares while inside the Magical Realms.  (The Lord of Nightmares or "Lon" is an eldritch goddess) Lon then proceeded to implant herself inside Imalia.  Lon is a being of pure darkness and nightmare, so Imalia has control over darkness when she taps into Lon's power. Through some creative wording, the contract between the two of them allows Imalia to use Lon's power and form when she needs to; however, Imalia is forever plagued by terrible nightmares that not even Azalea's dreamcatchers can stop.  The dreamcatchers just catch on fire.

13. Overcompensation.  Is there something that your character just HAS to do better than anyone else?  Or are they just that dang good without trying?  If they see someone else showing off, what is their kneejerk reaction?

She's actually quite humble.  If she sees someone showing off, she really just concerns herself with their safety.  "Please don't be careless and die, please!"  But she IS gifted.  Her magic is insanely strong, she just doesn't like to make a big deal out of it.  She gets embarrassed.

She is the best in the room, and you'd better damn well know it.  Unless she respects you.  Then she will tone it down.  But if she sees a showoff...she's got to mess with them.  She's got to show them that they aren't all that and a bag of chips.

14. Fight Club.  Is your character a good fighter?  What kind of skills do they have?

She's pretty decent.  Her attack magic is awesome, but her physical fighting mainly relies on how quick and squirmy she is.  Her punches hurt, but they don't incapacitate.

She can fight pretty damn well.  Her father made sure of it after most of her family was killed by assassins (it does sometimes really suck to be royalty).  She is a heavy hitter and her intent is to end a fight with one strike.  It doesn't always work, but hey...second, third, maybe fourth time is the charm.  Or maybe you should just blow it the hell up.

15. The Arts.  Is your character a creative type?  What kinds of things can they create?  Can they act?  Street perform?

She is.  Like mentioned earlier, she writes and makes dreamcatchers; she also gets into stage acting with Julian (when he's her LI).  She's not a solo performer though.  She has to be in a troupe or else she gets massive stage fright.

She can draw very well, almost photo-realistically.  She mainly uses this skill for documentation when she's studying something.  But every great once in a while she will draw a political cartoon making fun of some noble.  Once she drew a penis on the face of one of Lucio's statues.  He snapped back "I'd never put something that small in my mouth!"  She retorted by drawing a full body penis on a different statue.  It got misinterpreted by many townspeople as "Hey, look!  Lucio is a dick!!"

16. Goofy.  Is your character a clown?  Do they like to make people laugh?

She does.  She doesn't see herself as funny, but when she slips in something humorous into whatever she's talking about it usually takes whoever is listening by surprise.  Spit your drink kind of humor.

YES.  She has such a strange way of speaking sometimes that you can't help but snort at the things she says.  Yes, it is entirely on purpose.  She loves to crack jokes and has a self-deprecating sense of humor at times.  She will also be hilariously over-confident as well.

17. Language.  Is your character multilingual?  How many languages do they speak?  Do they have an accent?  Is it sexy?  Is it silly?  Do they have the multilingual lisp?

No.  She only speaks her native language.

Yes.  Imalia speaks ten different languages.  In her normal language, she doesn't have a multilingual lisp; but in about four of her other languages, she does.  It drives her nuts, but she just can't seem to fix it.

18. Embarrassment.  What is something really embarrassing that your character has done/said?

Azalea can't remember this, because it's part of the memories she lost.  But Imalia remembers.  One time she was going to meet one of the magisters of the Magical University of Prakra to see if she would be accepted.  She spent weeks preparing how to introduce herself.  On the day of, she mentioned how excited she was to meet Magister Asshole.  Imalia blinked and said, "It's pronounced Ah-shole."

One time she said something quite rude about Lucio in front of Azalea (when Lucio is Azalea's LI).  Azalea proceeded to tear her a new rectum, claiming that for someone so smart, she was incredibly closed-minded.

19. Memory.  Has your character gotten any of their memory back?  If so, what?  Did it change them?

No.  She insists that she doesn't want her memories back because she likes who she is now.  She gets the important information from Asra and Imalia...her parents’ and aunt's names, what they were like, and how they died.  That's all she feels that she needs. 

*looks at me*  "I'm exempt from this question.  I'm your OC, not your MC."  *walks out*

20. Family.  Talk about your character's family.  Who were they?

Her mother (Etoile) and father (Galen) were traveling merchants.  Her mother was the one with magical talent.  Her mother's sister (Sylvaine) owned the shop and taught Azalea most about magic.  When Azalea was 13, her parents were robbed and killed by bandits just outside of Vesuvia.  She lived with Sylvaine until she died of pneumonia when Azalea was 20.

Imalia's father was Vitalric Gabriev and her mother was Narsial Trevallan.  When Imalia was 14, her father's family (the Sairuun royal family) were murdered by assassins sent by a rival country.  Only Vitalric (and Narsial), Imalia, Vitalric's older brother Rhemun and his daughter Dreen survived.  Rhemun and Dreen remained in Seiruun to run the place while Vitalric and his family moved to Vesuvia as a failsafe in case there were other assassination attempts.  Vitalric started studying to become a doctor, while Narsial started grooming Imalia to wed into a noble family.  Narsial was extremely abusive.  Long story short, King Rhemun died of a hunting injury, and both of Imalia's parents died in the Red Plague.

[caltropspress]

Notes on Pink Siifu’s NEGRO

You and anybody else who wants to get their random vicarious kicks off White Power can stay the fuck away from me. 

—Lester Bangs

Tell a nazi he can suck my dick. —Pink Siifu, from “SMD”

My first contact with white america was marked by her violence, for when a white doctor pulled me from between my mother’s legs and slapped my wet ass, I, as every other negro in america, reacted to this man-inflicted pain with a cry. A cry that america has never allowed to cease; a cry that gets louder and more intense with age….A cry? Or was it a scream? —H. Rap Brown (Jamil Abdullah Al-Amin), from Die Nigger Die!

it is the hour of conflict, antagonism, struggle the world turning autumn in warpaint everything silently prepares to scream —Amiri Baraka, from “Disorder”

1.  

White institutional power operates to negate or suppress. To that end, white institutional power bestows awards on singular figures when it’s convenient. Let’s call one such example Kendrick Lamar. Pulitzer Prizing DAMN. is white institutional power taking cover. This, in no way, defangs DAMN. But it does provide crowd control. Pink Siifu, meanwhile, won’t be awarded a Pulitzer for NEGRO. If he did, I’m confident he’d pull an Adrienne Rich, telling President Clinton to choke on his National Medal for the Arts, seeing as how the U.S. gov’t drives “the demonization of our young Black men.” Siifu would be PE boycotting the Grammys on the grounds of Black invisibility. Or John Lennon relinquishing his membership in the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire because, well, empire (see: Biafra).

2.

NEGRO is what happens when Three 6 Mafia goes full bandolier, full decolonization, full Thomas Sankara. When the emphasis is on the 666 sirening[1] across white cop foreheads, reflecting off Makrolon face shields. Siifu cites and channels Sun Ra, June Tyson, Death, and Bad Brains, but you also hear the mass hysteria of Abbey Lincoln’s vocal cords trembling, of Max Roach’s We Insist! in a street brawl showdown with the LRAD. Basically, it’s Ornette blowing sax in a riot, harmolodics like incendiary devices.

3.

“FK” is the primal scream reaction of hearing the news another one of your people has been killed, snuffed out. Suffer through our screams, it says to the listener. And “out of body, out of mind” distorts what we see with what we witness. It’s the re-played, re-tweeted, re-shared visuals of Black death.

4.

At moments, NEGRO sounds like Aaron Dilloway organizing a chapter of the White Panther Party.

5.

Siifu’s lyrics are a Stokely speech draft. His artistry is prismatic, shattered pane glass: crust punk, jazz cat, marching band drummer, hood ballerina, noisemaker, bareknuckle emcee. His lyrics should be run off on the mimeo and saddle-stitched into a chapbook for Totem Press to publish.

6.

“SMD” samples from Ivan Dixon's 1973 film The Spook Who Sat by the Door (“Do you hear me, man?...I am BLACK!”). Just like dead prez sampled the dialogue before Siifu on “We Want Freedom.” Siifu and dead prez are bedfellows, for sure, but Siifu's head rests on a pillow of static. It’s the friction that electrifies.

7.

NEGRO is the art of de-arresting in audio form. As the comrades at Mask Magazine have stated, de-arrests “are beautiful,” reminding us “the law and the state are not supernatural forces.”[2]

8.

I’ve always felt uncomfortable using the word freedom. It’s a word that’s been co-opted and gutted to the point of parody. I subscribe only to a different form of freedom, one articulated in noise. Suicidal Tendencies’ “Freedumb” cuts it: “Peace through politics is a fallacy—that doesn’t exist.” Liberation more seriously expresses the extinction agenda. Poor Righteous Teachers taught the curriculum out of Trenton, on “Freedom of Death”: “Consciousness—it’s a must / Just avoid the wicked, wicked ways of this pale Caucasoid.”

Regardless, we see freedom, liberation, knife through even with Siifu’s orthography. Revolutionary thought requires revolutionary language. Ask the Combahee River Collective. Come correct. Fuck autocorrect. Remember womyn. Siifu spellings like: nxggas, eye, tyme, iono, and the evergreen ameriKKKa. The abbreviated words—eliding letters wherever possible—don’t reflect self-censorship so much as the mindmaze of a harried man. Deliberate typos demonstrate no faith in the system. It’s like if Bon Iver (see: “22 (OVER S∞∞N)”) decided to forgo BLM symbolic gestures (Mahalia Jackson) and straight-up encouraged looting. Siifu is CAPS LOCK happy, too. We’re witnessing the joy of militancy.

9.

To begin with, it must be said that former African slaves and their ancestors have been the avant-garde of everything in this country. There’s no culture in America, in this American wasteland, without us. There’s no classical music; there’s jazz, and that was invented by us. And besides that, America has nothing to offer the world and it never has. —Idris Robinson, from “How It Might Should Be Done”

Siifu in the audience of the Congress of Afrikan Peoples, and Baraka imploring him like, “Get up, Pink Siifu.” It’s nation time. But on “Nation Tyme.,” Siifu groans, I’m tired…can’t fall…asleep. Black rage, of course—but what of Black insomnia? The French revolutionaries abolished the calendar. CPT, so, is rightly weaponized. “I feel fettered by Western time,” Gregory Pardlo writes in “Colored People’s Time.” Punch clocks need punching, smashing. I saw Baraka roll up to a conference panel late as fuck once, cane-walking right down the center aisle, shameless, commandingly.

In a somnolent slur, Siifu says, “They treat me like I’m wasting away / I know I’m worth more than they pay.” What of these capitalist definitions of work? What of productivity? What does it mean to monetize every waking moment? He’s been quoted as saying, “I ain’t have to work for no white man.”[3] “Nation Tyme.” picks up there.

10.  Feel like deadmeat. They say I’m deadmeat.

“DEADMEAT” is a pig siren stuffed into an industrial-grade slaughterhouse grinder. It sounds the way Alan Vega's sculptures look—hazardous masses of electronic junk, like wires raveled inside a homemade bomb, like buzzing viscera. 

I want to see Siifu perform it at the Meat Locker, a cellar club in the underguts of Montclair, New Jersey (s/o the dramacydal Outlawz). The place is dingy and bedecked with feces—a venue befitting a GG Allin opener. GG Allin, a racist, who also hated cops. Who, on “Shove That Warrant Up Your Ass,” a track that appeared on the posthumous Brutality & Bloodshed For All album, sang, “You say I broke the laws in your state… / Your courts and cops should all be hung.” Allin hoists a headless, legless, armless torso on his hip in the cover photograph—a slab of meat. Like the Beatles with baby doll parts and prime cuts in their laps, bloodless butcher coats on the original Yesterday and Today (1966) artwork. Like the papal kill floor in Francis Bacon’s “Figure with Meat” (1954) with its tapestry of offal. But what you don’t get from Bacon, or the Beatles, or GG Allin is what Siifu needs us to hear. What Siifu tells us is the reality of corporeality is that cops continue to make carcasses of Black people.

11.

That cellar club can be scream therapy, can be cell therapy. Siifu brings us there—to the darkest, dampest corner of the Dungeon Family’s dungeon. Big Gipp, speaking self-defensively: “Try to separate me from the blood / Is disrespect like you coming in my home and not wiping your feet on the rug.” It’s echoed in Siifu addressing the question of his audience: “This [album] is for black people, but I know white people are going to fuck with it. I’m mad cool with that. I just want everyone to know, before they come through the door, that this is a black house and you have to respect my people.”[4] The theme of respect as it relates to a sense of home, to cultural tourism, is paramount in both. Everyone’s got to know their place. No listener should approach ignorant of the auction block. Siifu’s noise refuses the separation of kinsfolk and his stubbornness makes the dungeon shake—he is rightfully “tough, dark, vulnerable, moody,” and, on NEGRO, he has a “definite tendency to sound truculent.”[5]

12.  

“ON FIRE, PRAY!” eventually grinds the brakes to a cavernous slowjam pace. “Blood on my body / Blood on my face.”

13.

The racist dog policemen must withdraw immediately from our communities, cease their wanton murder and brutality and torture of black people, or face the wrath of the armed people. —caption on Huey Newton photograph

NEGRO’s album cover, painted by Junkyard, is a call-and-response. Pink Siifu is a portrait of exhaustion, slouched, shirtless like Huey was when he was released from the Alameda County courthouse in 1970. It’s a tableau like Huey in that rattan peacock chair was. Eldridge Cleaver orchestrated it, right down to the zebra rug.

If you squint, the glimmer of Siifu’s gold fronts looks like his jaw is wired shut. Of course, violent threats are routinely directed at Black people—that's how the system operates. Media is often behind the scope. Relentless orders to “shut up,” to silence yourself, police yourself. We know this from David Wojnarowicz, photographed with his lips sewn shut, blood dripping like shadows, in “(Silence = Death)” from 1989. The violent threats on queer life are kin to those on Black life. But Siifu, like Wojnarowicz, refuses the censorship. After all, those aren't wires—they're the glint of his grill. Siifu is dribbling blood, too, and those black splatters across the flag are like pen bursts—ink poisoning for all. If you squint, the mind’s eye might see the Pan-African flag.

The flag above his head recalls Jasper Johns’ flags: elliptical, non-patriotic, made slop-bucket sloppy from newspaper shreddings and other detritus, i.e. amerikkka is a trash heap. At least the stars are black in the “Flag (Moratorium)” rendition. Bullet hole dead center, too.

If all goes well, the riots going on—bless them—will go on interminably. Sly Stone’s customized flag with black in place of blue[6] and sharp solar-flared suns in place of Betsy Ross geometric stars is yet another parallel to Siifu’s flag. Like Sly, Siifu isn’t opposed to police ambushes. They both know you’ve got to grin at the gun of the devil. (“Don’t you mind people grinnin’ in your face,” Son House sings eternally.) Citizen takes on cop on “Thank You For Talkin’ To Me, Africa”: Bullets start chasin’, / I begin to stop. / We begin to tussle. / I was on the top. Just the same as Siifu on “SMD”: “Iono why eye ain’t shot ya.” Or on “run pig run.”: “Kill a cop / Left a pig dead.”

14.

We can't disparage any aggressive protest on the reductive grounds it's aggro or violent. I think of Pam Echols in Milwaukee in 1968. Siifu’s assertion of you are my enemy on “steal from the ENEMY” corresponds with Paris’s sophomore and shadowy album, Sleeping with the Enemy. Like on the corrode-ode “Coffee, Donuts, and Death”:

You get poached when you fuck with black folk. Said it ’til my voice was hoarse. I ain’t down with excessive force, But of course I wasn’t heard so I’m silent now. Black folk can’t be non-violent now. […] The only motherfucking pig that I eat is police.

Which is to say, try no pork, ameriKKKa.

15.  RE: punk

Think of Bad Brains playing CBGB’s in 1982. Lester Bangs writes of a woman in the scene who referred to Black people as “all these boons.” He tells us a Black friend of his believes the clubgoers “[strive] to be offensive however they can.” Anti-Blackness plagued CBGB’s and nascent punk like vermin, a pestilence. A white woman in the music business claims she “liked [Black people] so much better when they were just Negroes.” These anecdotes are culled from Bangs’ 1979 Village Voice piece entitled “The White Noise Supremacists.” He notes Ron Asheton’s predilection for “swastikas, Iron Crosses, and jackboots.” He cites Ivan Julian, guitarist for Richard Hell and the Voidoids—one of the few Black individuals to grace those inchoate punk stages—as saying “whenever he hears the word ‘n-----’…he wants to kill.” He calls Nico a “dumb kraut cunt” for her brazen, Third Reich-ish brand of racism, which was no industry secret. Bangs even implicates himself, quoting an earlier article: “…it’s the n-----s who control and direct everything just as it always has been and properly should be.” He meant this, somehow, as a compliment.

16.

On “we need mo color. Abundance,” there’s no innocence left in asking “tell me your favorite color.” Siifu answers rhetorically, parenthetically, melanin. Don't settle for forty acres of color—demand abundance. Take, loot in abundance. And don't be contained by the gendered parameters of “pink or blue.” “You can have any color you like” suggests the limitless possibilities if you move your mind beyond the imposed parameters.

The “favorite color” invoked on “we need mo color. Abundance” becomes abundantly clear on the following track, “BLACK!”

17.

“ameriKKKa, try no pork” starts in a slurry of radio static, news reports of Black death. Black, Black, Black, Black. Sped up. Slowed down. Drag the progress bar. “Progress,” ha.

18.

“run pig run.” See the pig / Run away / Run, pig, run. Like a Dick and Jane basal reader. Like picking your favorite color. Like a Three Little Pigs fable. Like huffing and puffing. These are childhood exploits for childhoods that aren’t allowed to be. As long as the Kenneth and Mamie Clark doll experiments keep providing the proof, there can be no childhood innocence. So it's a carnival game in the meantime: See a pig / Shoot a pig. Huffing and puffing: Run, pig, run.

19.

"myheartHURT" is the safehouse after the shooting. It's the cooldown, the chillout. The hypnagogic nightmare. It's vaporwave minus whiteness. We all know Biz had the vapors before Daniel Lopatin. As if DJ Screw was just an apparition, a codeine cloud. The fact remains, Screw's phantasmagoria hovers above all our heads.

20.

The wail of distorted police sirens introduces “Chris Dorner.,” a track gleefully indebted to Ice-T and Body Count’s “Cop Killer.” Repetition was a popular device and it still is: die, pig, die. Chris Dorner has achieved folk-hero status in anarchist circles and beyond since he waged asymmetrical warfare on the LAPD. His manifesto has been published as a zine.[7] “No one grows up and wants to be a cop killer,” he wrote. Begs the question.

21.

“faceless wings,BLACK!” nods to Frank Castle[8], a figure who may or may not be recoverable from militias and thin blue liners, despite Gerry Conway’s best efforts.

22.

White institutional power operates to negate or suppress. Pink Siifu, through NEGRO, refuses suppression and negation. Siifu delivers a hole in the head, and it’s sublime.

Footnotes:

1  “The Law comes sirening across the town.” Gwendolyn Brooks, “THE THIRD SERMON OF THE WARPLAND” from RIOT

2  “De-Arrests are Beautiful.” Mask Magazine.

3  “The Necessity of Pink Siifu’s Rage.” Marcus J. Moore. The Fader.

4  “Pink Siifu’s ‘NEGRO’ is a Riotous Mix of Jazz, Rap and Punk.” Max Bell. Bandcamp Daily.

5  Baldwin, the god.

6  “What did I do to be so black and blue?” (see: Armstrong); light a reefer and listen to the phonograph (see: Ellison)

7  Research and Destroy New York City. https://researchdestroy.com/

8  https://archive.org/details/PunisherPigs

Images:

Emory Douglas work (detail), courtesy of Sean Stewart archives | Makrolon face shield, Google Image Search result | Amiri Baraka performing at the Congress of Afrikan Peoples (screenshot) | Alan Vega light sculpture (photograph) | GG Allin Brutality & Bloodshed for All album cover | The Beatles Yesterday & Today album cover | Francis Bacon, “Figure with Meat” (detail) | Goodie Mob “Cell Therapy” (screenshot) | Splitting up a family at auction, Public Domain | Huey Newton Black Panthers Minister of Defense, photographed by Blair Stapp, 1968 | Andreas Sterzing, David Wojnarowicz (Silence = Death), 1989 | Sly and the Family Stone There’s A Riot Goin’ On album cover | Jasper Johns, “Flag (Moratorium)” | Pam Echols punching cop, 1968 (photographer unknown) | Sid Vicious, nazi (photographer unknown) | Emory Douglas work (detail), courtesy of Sean Stewart archives | Biz Markie Goin’ Off album cover | Oneohtrix Point Never Memory Vague album cover 

[jeannereames]

A lot of people on here joke about Alexander being “crazy” or “insane”, and I know some people hold the belief that he was an insane monster (I even saw an article titled “Alexander the Monster” which basically made Alexander out to be worse than the devil lol). I was just wondering what you think regarding Alexander’s mentality/sanity and why do you think some people believe that he was this crazy psychopath. Btw, I just finished reading Becoming and I loved it!!!!

First, thank you! I’m glad you liked the novel! Now, on to the question…

When people talk about “crazy” Alexander, it usually falls into two different categories. One subset is that Alexander went crazy with grief after Hephaistion died; I’ve argued against this elsewhere, so won’t again here in any detail.

Another subset claims he became megalomaniacal, pointing for proof to his “Persianizing,” including an attempt to introduce proskynesis (the bow before the Persian Great King that Greeks viewed as due only to gods), his desire to be deified, and a penchant for dressing up as various gods (Dionysos, Herakles, and even Artemis).

That tendency isn’t just on Tumblr; similar accusations are made in academia under the maxim that, “Absolute power corrupts absolutely.” (Lord Baron Acton)

Yet that’s the cynical take. I think how one views the world (and human nature) has something to do with how one interprets Alexander’s behavior. We must recall that Alexander lived in a society where kingship was seen as divinely bestowed, and carried with it certain religious obligations with regard to one’s subjects.

Remember, not just anybody could be king of Macedon; one had to be an ARGEAD: e.g., from a specific family (gens). They were descendants of Herakles, and so of divine descent. This is different from the Successors who followed. Alexander was raised as a prince; Ptolemy, Antigonos, or Seleukos were not. The importance of these heroic ties can be found in the stories that popped up later, making Ptolemy a bastard of Philip (and thus an Argead), or the later Seleucid claim of descent from Apollo. And we know the Molossian royal house claimed descent from Achilles.

Again, not just anybody can be a king. One has to be special by ancestry.

Being born to the purple doesn’t necessarily make one any less of a dick. We’ve plenty of evidence to the contrary. (Demetrios Poliorketes? Pyrrhos? Antigonos IV Epiphanes?) But it does instill a different awareness of one’s place in the world.

Modern cynicism forgets just how seriously ancient people took religion. On his deathbed, among the last actions Alexander forced himself to perform until he literally couldn’t get up, were morning sacrifices to the ancestors and gods, on behalf of the Macedonian people. I think that says a lot not only about his own religiosity, but his sense of himself as a conduit between his people and the gods. The proper performance of religious rites were central, not just to his success, but to the survival of Macedonia. In our modern world, it can be hard to connect to this somewhat archaic notion.

In addition, the stories of him visiting hospital tents after battle, personally writing letters to his officers, talking and joking with his soldiers, marching with them, eating what they ate, and dressing as they dressed, all point to somebody who understands the principles of leadership, as opposed to just bossing people around. Some have argued that he lost that as time went on, but he was still out marching with them in Gedrosia (despite a collapsed or partially collapsed lung), so I’d argue he did not. The helmet incident (where he poured out precious water brought to him, because the rest of his men didn’t have any) is an exemplar of his continued understanding of what solidarity meant. It may have been as calculated as hell, but that’s not the act of a madman or megalomaniac. Also, just because it was calculated doesn’t mean it wasn’t genuinely meant. He was trying to keep his men alive, not let them give up.

Did Alexander, over time, turn into an arrogant little shit? Almost certainly, given his mind-boggling achievements, and the fact the Greeks never touted humility as a virtue. But I don’t believe he was a narcissist or had taken leave of reality. Such characterizations are simplistic, played for pop approval and laughs, or because it’s too much effort to look under the surface.

I do think he was struggling desperately to figure out how to govern such a vast, international empire, and not in some Tarn-esque “Brotherhood of Mankind” way. He never (personally) lost a battle, but uniting Eastern and Western ways of rule was a puzzle he never solved. THAT was his great failure. F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote, “Show me a hero and I’ll write you a tragedy.” And that’s where Dancing with the Lion will eventually head. Alexander’s story is, ultimately, not a triumph, but not because he was crazy or a Macedonian Hitler.

I’d also point out that people who oversimplify Alexander as either a demon or demented, are buying, hook, line and sinker, the moral narratives of the ancient authors, especially of Plutarch, Curtius, and Justin, but also Arrian and Diodoros. These are not neutral accounts. We must be careful of their biases.

All that said, I don’t want to excuse Alexander’s war crimes (and I don’t know what else you’d call some of what he did). But even those were not the actions of a “crazy” man. They were brutal, but considered (which may be worse).

Razing Thebes sent a message of what happens when a city foreswears an alliance multiple times. Rounding up and killing Greek mercenaries after Granikos sent a message to others serving under Darius (an attempt to peel off some of Darius’s more dangerous support troops). Razing Tyre (and Gaza) sent a message about what happens when resistance defies certain “rules of war” (Tyre’s treatment of the heralds). The burning of Persepolis was not a drunken frat party gone wrong; it was a political statement. Note ALL moveable wealth was gone and it happened just before they left, plus it destroyed the place where Persian kings were crowned, preventing one from emerging in Alexander’s wake. (Not that Bessus cared, nor Spitamenes after him). Philotas fell victim to a real conspiracy (even if he wasn’t part of it), not a CIA file (contra Badian), and the Proskynesis Affair was an attempt to regularize court procedure not institute worship of Alexander. The murder of Kleitos was, indeed, a drunken brawl, with no good excuse, but was followed by (I think) genuine remorse, even if he accepted the forgiveness of the troops because he needed to.

Even the choice to enter Gedrosia wasn’t the decision of a madman, but of one whose logistics were legendary for working…except when they didn’t, because of an uprising and monsoon behind them that was unplanned for. It was a FUBAH, not a foolish choice. He was looking for a trade route linking India and Mesopotamia. Notions that he just wanted to one-up Cyrus and Semiramis misses the point.

The so-called request to the Greek states for deification is problematic as to just what he asked, versus what was later said (remember, we’re hearing about it from Athenian demagogues who hated him). The claim to be the son of a god was not megalomania or a shot at divinity, but an affirmation of hero status; being the son of a god didn’t necessarily mean one was immortal one’s self. As for precedent, his own father had put a statue of himself alongside the 12 in his final parade, plus there’s a heroōn (hero shrine) built above Royal Tomb I at Vergina. That’s either Philip buried there (my own personal opinion), or his father Amyntas III. The Spartan general, Brasidas, received hero cult from Amphipolis after his death, but Lysander accepted it from the Samians will still alive.

Alexander outstripped every one of these by no small measure, and seen in context, his claim to be a son of Zeus-Ammon is not some bizarre, out-of-left-field assertion. If Lysander was a hero, and his father Philip, then what did that make Alexander? And the inflated “Final Plans” were about 50% invented by Perdikkas to get the army to vote them down.

Alexander did terrible things and we need to let those terrible things stand—call them out and recognize them. Yet when I look at his behavior, even in his latter years, I just don’t see the horrific corruption of, say, the Trump administration, or of Vladimir Putin’s Russia, or Xi’s China. At some level, I think Alexander still saw himself, and struggled to be, a “Philosopher King.” He just didn’t know what that meant anymore.

I think, by the end, he was lost. Macedonian kings were expected to win wars and provide loot. Alexander did that to a degree no Macedonian monarch had ever before achieved. He was the Energizer Bunny of Macedonian kings. His own men (and culture) had created a monster. No wonder he felt betrayed by their “indiscipline” on the banks of the Hyphasis. “But I gave you even more than you ever dreamed of!”

Indeed, he did. That was the problem. They made him turn around. When his army “defeated” him, he wasn’t sure who he was any more, or what he was doing. I see a lot of his career after as a scramble to re-define himself. He’d conquered all this territory at a relatively young age. Now what was he supposed to do with it?  Ruling is a lot less glamorous than conquering.

He’s perhaps the greatest military mind who’s ever lived (tied with Subutai, Genghis Khan’s general). He was also an exceptionally inspirational leader. But that “ruling schtick”? It got in the way. Appointing Hephaistion chiliarch was among his smarter decisions, even if Hephaistion died on him too soon. It was tacit recognition that he needed help. I’ve joked that Hephaistion’s appointment amounted to, “Here, you figure out how to make this whole thing work; I want to go conquer more stuff.”

Once he lost Hephaistion, he became a boat without a rudder. But as noted, his mourning was not beyond the pale. The only difference is that he had the money (and authority) to impose his wishes. As a former bereavement counselor, I wrote an article called “The Mourning of Alexander the Great” that deep-sixes misconceptions about mourning and Alexander’s behavior.

Was he “crazy”? No. Was he the devil? I’m sure the countries he invaded thought so. Was he a megalomaniac? Almost certainly not. Was he an arrogant asshole (especially when he’d been drinking)? Almost certainly so. But his arrogance sprang from an odd mix of massive, early success mixed with deep insecurity spawned by his upbringing.

I find him fascinating precisely because he’s not a simple read. He’s not Donald Trump. He’s not Adolf Hitler. He’s not even Caesar, or Napoleon. He’s intensely complex, which is, I think, the source of his continued fascination.

I’d advise those who read about him to allow for that complexity. Avoid simplistic readings, even while not white-washing the really ugly side of his career.

[smarmykemetic]

hey there i was wondering if i could ask you about some things about paganism, i have a few friends who are pagan but theyre self-admittedly quite novice, so i dont really have many people to turn to for advice, i hope it isnt awkward as a tumblr mutual to reach out for advice like this, but, in highschool i was quite into wicca but it never quite stuck, and i wanted to practice and pray again, however (1)

there is quite a large array of beliefs and pantheons, and it doesnt really feel "right" (not right as in correct) to kind of mix and match pantheons and rituals, i think cohesion in terms of spirituality helps me personally, but i dont wanna just, say point at hellenism (just an example) and go ok ill revolve around this, without any sort of... i guess invitation? relationship? with the gods of that sect/pantheon (2)

i dont know know if im over thinking it or overthinking how it works, my main question is is how do i allow myself to be contacted by a god or presence, i imagine its quite a personal connection, so it makes sense personally to be contacted than to be the one to choose your connection with an actual higher power, sorry if this isnt a question you know how to answer, just hoped to ask if you have any guidance or places to start, even in terms of reading! 💜 (3) 

hey, not at all! i’m happy to help, if i can :>

the “mix n match” approach is generally referred to as being ‘eclectic’, and it’s not necessarily a bad thing -so long as you use common sense, research a lot, and approach other cultures’ traditions (particularly the ones that are still alive and being carried on by living humans) with respect. on my end, i’m:

a revivalist kemetic polytheist (a person who believes in and worships the egyptian pantheon as well as adapting the larger religious beliefs and philosophies of ancient Kemet/Egypt into a modern equivalent) devoted to Set and Heru-sa-aset

a chaote/chaos magician (a person who uses the power of belief to perform magic rather than only using one specific��‘paradigm’ or belief system wrt how magic works; this is why most of my spells involve sigilcraft in some form)

whatever you call someone who makes a lot of spell jars and turning objects into charms besides just “witch”

an astral traveller

a novice mystic/energy worker

a necromancer (i have an altar to my chosen, rather than biological, ancestors whom i refer to as the Outlaw Dead. i give them offerings of food, drink, music, company, and magic; they help me with a lot of magical undertakings as well)

since i see Fenrir Wolf as my spiritual father figure and was given the kenning Fenrirspup, am starting to do more regular work with Loki, and functionally follow the Norse traditions that my boyfriend does -including offering to his two main gods, Tyr and Freya, and the alves/dwarves on occasion- im arguably a friendly foreigner/visitor/in-law to the Norse pantheon

godspouse (married to my two Kemetic patrons)

was a Christopagan for about two years, and although i stopped considering myself a christian, i still technically worship Jesus in passing (mostly around my family and friends who are christian, when the occasion calls for it; and i consider still seeing the Bible as a holy book with valuable spiritual wisdom a form of worship of that book’s God)

believe in astrology/use Western and Chinese astrology for spells sometimes

Use tarot cards and pendulums

and i’m just starting to look into working with crystals, ritual work, and possibly using chakras or something similar (every source i look at says something different vis a vis “is using chakra cultural appropriation” so i’m not trying to rush into it). pretty much every single one of those things are from different magical/religious traditions, some as old as Ancient Egypt, some as young as chaos magic. you don’t have to pick only one thing and do just that, no matter what anybody says.

you also don’t have to wait to be “called”. if a pantheon, magical tradition, or philosophy appeals to you, just start researching! the “throw stuff at the wall and see what sticks” method is completely valid and one of my personal favorites :> being in contact with gods or spirits or demons or what have you is usually pretty personal and intense, but i generally assume that’s because the easiest, most direct way for us to communicate is telepathically, and you’re bound to feel closer to a being you’re talking to through thoughts and feelings. in practice, it often works much more like any other relationship where one party approaches the other and asks if they want to work together, or be friends, or be a teacher and student.

what kinds of magic/paganism appeals to you on an emotional level? if you can narrow it down to a few fields of study, we can help you figure out where to start!