#depressing discourse tw

[infiniteglitterfall]

someday, we're gonna look back at Trump's second term. how far right it drove the country and the world. how much he emboldened the dictatorships and quasi-dictatorships in Iran, in North Korea, in Russia, in China, in Gaza. how fast we lost marriage rights and healthcare rights once he took office.

how much more he accelerated the climate crisis. how, by the end of his term, he'd stripped away so many government services, so many checks and balances, that his followers didn't even bother to try to take the Capitol building, because there was no need. anyone with any power in government was already on their side, and most of the government didn't have any power worth speaking of.

and we're going to look back at how many people voted against Biden because they saw unsourced, uncited lies about him beheading Palestinian babies. or using executive orders to send immediate emergency ammo to Israel. or sending $26B to Israel for more bombs.

we're going to pass around the too-late reports of how Russia and Iran created a network of bots to manipulate us with disinformation.

we're going to wring our hands about how long we've been manipulated like this, and shake our heads about how to recognize and stop it.

TL;DR: I don't know how the fuck y'all look at this shit and FAIL to recognize that it's the same exact thing as Trump claiming Democrats want to legalize the “execution” of babies that were already born.

Trump: "Sleepy Joe wants post-birth abortions!" You: "LMAO I cannot believe...." Twitter rando with lots of reach: "Biden is beheading Palestinian babies!" You: "OMG I KnOW, RiGHt?!?! Those are the REAL beheaded babies!!!!!!! The other ones were FAKE but Biden DID THESE ONES BY HAND AND ON PURPOSE!!!!!! GENOCIDE JOE AMIRITE"

[styxhuntress]

The way Buck is treated is absolutely heartbreaking.

On the surface yes, maybe the 118 does look like a found family unit. And most of them have a good family bond with one another. But not with Buck. (Long rant below the cut)

Buck has the biggest heart out of anyone on the show. He is constantly going out of his way to help people. This is particularly prominent with Eddie, but he does this for so many characters.

He lets Hen, Eddie and Chim stay with him during the lockdown, never asks them to help pay rent, and then later lets Albert stay with him with no complaint.

He is constantly babysitting Chris and later Jee while their respective parents go do other things, and while he clearly loves spending time with them this is definitely a massive favor on his part because babysitting kids is hard work.

He is always there to support them when they need it.

He’s the one that prompts them to check on Bobby in season 1.

He is there for Chim as best he can when Maddie leaves.

When Maddie shows up at his apartment in Season 2 he doesn’t get angry with her for essentially breaking into his home and helping herself to a bottle of wine. And instead helps her settle down with a safe new job and becomes her shoulder to cry on during this period.

He drops everything when Eddie asks for his help, when Eddie mentions issues with childcare and paperwork for Chris Buck introduces him to Carla.

When Eddie has to bring Chris to the station Buck calls ahead so Bobby can get permission.

When Eddie gets shot Buck takes over Chris’s care without prompting.

When Eddie has issues with parenting Chris he calls Buck for help and Buck helps.

When Eddie has a meltdown and takes a bat to the wall, not only does Buck drop everything and run to help him, he also goes further by taking eddie to see the kid they saved the day he was shot.

Whenever Eddie needed anything Buck was there.

When Eddie desperately needed a sub letter so that he could move Buck went and took over the lease.

When he found out Eddie was moving he went and did what he could to help him despite being devastated.

Whenever anyone needed anything, Buck was there. And Buck was always happy to do it.

But when Buck was feeling abandoned after the embolism no one reached out, instead Eddie dumped Chris on him under the pretense of getting him out and about and stop moping for the day.

When Maddie left, no one thought to ask Buck how he was doing. Instead they focused entirely on Chim. And when Chim punched Buck no one at any point stood up for Buck, instead going on about how Chim is under a lot of distress right now as though Buck isn’t also feeling the loss and worry of his Sister up and leaving.

When Buck filed the lawsuit they almost all immediately went and put all the blame on Buck. Hen was the only one to point out that they were all Buck had, that he had no other family outside the 118. Despite that they still punished him, Eddie taking his anger out on Buck because the lawsuit meant Buck couldn’t bail him out and he couldn’t spend time with Chris and never once saying he missed Buck too. He was pissed because Buck couldn’t drop everything and help him. He was accused of being reckless and impulsive and using their own issues for his own gain and for being selfish and stupid and exhausting despite the fact that he was being treated unfairly. He was hurt, and alone and just needed a hug.

When Buck found out about Daniel and distanced himself from Maddie, Chimney started borderline harassing Buck trying to get him to talk to her, despite a) Buck having had a major bombshell dropped on him, getting his entire life put into a new perspective based on this information, and finding out why his parents treated him the way they did and so needing to process, and B) Buck repeatedly setting boundaries and saying he needed space to process and he’d talk to Maddie when he was ready. Chimney completely ignores Buck’s boundaries as though what Buck needs or wants doesn’t matter because Maddie is upset and wants to talk to him, and only her desires and emotional well being have any level of importance and despite asking for space she literally ambushes him at work to force a conversation he is not ready for. And no one else tries telling Chim to leave Buck alone, and then Eddie only has a half assed conversation with Buck despite being his so called best friend, where he basically dismisses Buck’s feelings and tells him he’s over reacting.

When Eddie was leaving and Buck was upset he was repeatedly accused of making it about himself, being selfish, unreasonable, unsupportive and a jerk when he literally just found out from nowhere that Eddie made a down payment just overheard his best friend basically dismiss their friendship (“I have no ties here, everything that matters is in Texas”) he gets judged and berated for being upset, as though he’s not allowed to have feelings, and when he tries to apologize for his snarkiness gets once again berated and when he finally tells Eddie that he took over the lease and thus he can move, aka the ultimate supportive action, not once does Eddie apologize.

When Buck breaks up with Tommy no one bothers to really check in with him on a deeper level, instead they dismiss his wants by stealing his phone so that he can’t call him and then no one brings it up again despite him clearly still being devastated for every following episode.

When Buck gets SA’d by the therapist he is immediately getting made fun of, and accused of being a manwhore and essentially blamed for being assaulted. No one ever, not once, bothers to wonder if he’s doing alright.

And when Buck is still waiting for Abby to come back rather than being supportive or anything like that he gets laughed at for living in his girlfriend’s apartment and being dumb enough to think she’ll come back.

When Eddie gets a new friend he immediately starts spending all his free time with that friend and never inviting Buck, even if they were planning something Buck would enjoy, instead asking if Buck can babysit (his kid is 14/15 at this point and just because he has CP I still think he can spend a couple of hours home alone. He’s not bedridden or anything.) and basically ignoring his supposed best friend in favor of his shiny new friend.

Whenever Buck needed anything he was laughed at, belittled and dismissed. They constantly take advantage of his kindness. Buck gives and gives and gives to them and gets nothing back. He is only wanted when he can be useful and when they need him. They take and take and take and the second Buck needs even a small amount of empathy or help he gets accused of being selfish, needy, exhausting, of making everything about him, of overreacting. He is essentially told, over and over that he is not allowed to have feelings or boundaries. He is not allowed to need help he can only give help. He is only valued when he can do something for someone else and godforbid he ever ask for the same consideration because otherwise he’s being needy. He makes everyone else his priority and never is he anyone’s priority in return.

Until Tommy anyway, he finally had someone who would take care of him, who acknowledged his feelings and showed him they were valid, who clearly adored all of Buck and never asked him for anything and indulged in his quirks and who was happy to be there for him, who complimented him and who overall clearly adored Buck. Even before they were dating when Tommy saw that Buck clearly was feeling left out he went over to his place to apologize, despite not actually doing anything wrong himself.

I seriously think that if Tommy saw how they all treated Buck he’d lose the delusion that they are basically a family really fast and promptly get pissed on Buck’s behalf. He’d also do everything in his power to help Buck realize that he matters as a person.

[systemtermz]

Hi! Uhh please don't take it as an offense or anything! I'm a singlet and I really want to understand dissociation and how systems work, like, can you explain why endos and othergenic systems can't be valid? I'm really sorry if it's a dumb question and you really don't have to answer.

Again so sorry if it's dumb or made anyone uncomfortable.

I hate using words like “aren’t valid” because in all honesty I think using “not valid” in anything regarding mental disorders and trauma, even with end0s and others, is kinda. Degrading. But what do I know honestly lol. DID/OSDD are disorders caused by trauma at a very young age. Claiming to have did/osdd while not having trauma is basically like claiming to have PTSD without trauma. That’s not possible. It makes some people very very mad to see something they have whittled down to “having people in my head lol” when in reality it is very much a traumatic dissociative disorder that makes peoples lives actively harder to live. As much as we all love to make jokes, it’s not very fun to have control and memories stripped away from you because of trauma and the way your brain just works now. It’s not always bad for absolutely everyone but like man.

Now, some End0s and others do NOT claim to have did/osdd. I don’t really care about these people, bygones and whatever, I consider that to not be my place to talk and other people can go over their and have arguments about that if they want. But I do still think that if that’s the case then maybe, at the very least, uh. Not put did/osdd terms (including pride flags for the disorders themselves) by terms made specifically for them. Pluralpedia my mortal goddamn enemy. Not even the people on it just the site.

Others feel free to correct me, of course.

-B0ffy

[the-entity-down-the-street]

Starting describing my memoir/fanfic "Celestial Bodies" as a cringe manifesto, because it juxtaposes self-shipping, otherkin, pop culture spirituality, adults with plushies, and teenage fangirls against the actual lives of marginalized people with statistically higher rates of suicide in a world that is rapidly becoming more hostile towards us. There's a scene where Marvel Loki is surrounded by my adoring variants, and he tells them that he loves all his little outcasts.

The real kicker is that all these versions of me, these variants, are dead. They're walking corpse children with bullets in their heads and slit wrists, because I had a lot of attempts as a kid that could've been successful if I made one different decision.

Sometimes you just need your favorite character to like you back, and that's okay.

"BuT ThAt'S CrInGe"

Shut the fuck up and look at this parade of dead autistic teenagers who only survived to adulthood because of fanfic and their equally "cringe" best friend with schizoaffective bipolar disorder. Look at the memorial altar to my spouse's "cringe" trans brother, who I never got to meet because he DID kill himself. Look at the family he left behind. Look at the corpse in the bathtub I could've been if I had sliced deep enough.

Eat a fucking dick.

As always, the book is on Ao3 if anyone is interested.

@nurnip fren!!!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/65287663

[infiniteglitterfall]

i don't post about autistic parenting enough

I kind of figured, when our kid was born almost seven years ago, that I would post MASSIVE amounts here. Because that's what I did with my first kid, only on Livejournal. I didn't want to bore my (universally childless, we were 20) friends with constantly going on and on about the smol child I was coparenting, so I infodumped on LJ whenever I felt the need to.

But it was RIGHT in the peak of the ace discourse. (Happy uhhhh seventh anniversary of the shitstorm, everybody!!!)

And I was very terrified that if I even mentioned that we were about to have a baby, someone would doxx me and make false reports to CPS. Or threaten to, or claim they had.

Or even that they'd just screenshot and make a huge deal about it; that there would be hundreds of people on here gleefully faux-raging and faux-bemoaning me having a child because I was one of the people they'd targeted with the Fake Ace/Aro/Inclusionist Blocklist In Which Everyone's Accused Of Being Pedophiles.

Ok you know what, this is not a fun post to share a fun kid story on. I'm just gonna let this one be about the garbage dumpster fire that was 2017, and make an autistic parenting post separately.

In which case, I can go ahead and put back the story about why I remember that it's the seventh anniversary of the shitstorm! (Or was, three days ago.)

It started on Feb 18, 2017, for me.

I mainly remember this because it was my abusive dad's birthday. And his godawful stepdaughter-in-law chose that day to tell him that I was telling people, aka his stepchildren who had kids, not to let their kids sleep over because he was an abuser.

God almighty, she's a piece of work. This was AFTER she insisted on interrogating me, over the phone, about why I was saying he had sexually abused me, whether I really remembered it, what I remembered, et cetera. Because she had been "falsely accused" of sexually abusing a kid she babysat for, as a teenager.

Her story about it does not hang together very well - as you might imagine. It didn't make a lot of sense to me at the time, and I wasn't about to try to have a real conversation with her about it. I barely knew her.

Essentially, as I recall it, the kid had made some claims to his parents about her doing something to him, one night, that she swore never happened, and -- according to her -- the police talked to him and could immediately see that nothing had happened, yet somehow also, this made the news and was a big deal and ruined her life and her family had to move.

Given that my dad swears he never abused me, yet also does not understand sexual boundaries with others even as an adult and doesn't have the concept that he can harm people by violating those boundaries, I am skeptical of her tale. I think that it is absolutely and entirely possible for someone in that specific state to harm a child without thinking that what they're doing is wrong.

For anyone who's reading this in a cold sweat, terrified that they could abuse a child without meaning to: see, the thing is that you care. My dad, ultimately, does not care.

He doesn't WANT to hurt a child. But you know what's even more important to him than not behaving in a way that might harm the kiddies? Not having to accept that anything he does could ever be harmful.

You do not have that problem. The fact that you are even worrying about this proves that. My dad, in contrast, puts all his energies not into worrying about it, but into pretending it's not there.

But I made all the supportive noises, tried to reassure her that I was not trying to ruin my dad's life or something, and that I was describing things in good faith. And tried desperately to get out of the conversation I did not want to have, with the half-stepsister-in-law I barely knew, who had just had her second kid. While also giving her many ways she could protect her kids without, like, having to even believe me, and certainly without having to talk to him about it.

hahahaha yeah that didn't work.

Where my dad is motivated by denial, Amy is motivated by spite. So she told him, on his birthday. And my dad, the pure fool, texted me and accused me of having ruined his birthday.

Like bro. I'm just chilling at home. AMY ruined your birthday.

And iirc, it was that same day that someone jumped in my face claiming i was a """"pedophile"""" """"apologist.""""" the 2017 version of "groomer" i guess. honestly it's kinda impressive or something -- at the time I was like, "why are they reviving the 1980s arguments of the religious right??" but IN FACT THEY WERE JUST A COUPLE YEARS AHEAD OF THE CURVE!

makes me wonder if we could predict other far-right moves by watching these dynamics, or whether it was just a flash in the pan.

[comemeist-blog]

On turning 27 and why I am never deleting my Tumblr

It is 2025. I am turning 27, and I have chosen to do that alone. I spent way too much money on an omakase dinner, and tomorrow, I'll spend even more money on a small cake that I'll eat while finishing my laundry. On the weekend, I'll celebrate my birthday with friends. But before that, I have to clean my kitchen, finish a giant report at work, and fill out scholarship applications. This is not what I imagined I would be doing when I turned 27, but I am old enough to appreciate the mundanity of my adulthood and the brief respites birthdays provide.

When I was 13, 27 felt #very #adult. So adult that I convinced myself that I was either going to 1) die or 2) get married when I hit 27. I was a depressed teenage girl, and, like many of my peers, I craved death but didn't actually want to end it (or deal with the aftermath of trying), so I settled for fantasies to get through the day. One of those was the expiration date-- 27-- because all the #Famous and #Hot Celebrities I read about in magazines died when they were 27, and they had a lot more to live for than I, a depressed teenager rotting in the suburbs, did. But, if I didn't die, I had to get married, because that's what you do when you are a very well-adjusted adult with a long-term (and hopefully rich) boyfriend.

Like many teenage girls in the early 2010s, I assumed said long-term and hopefully boyfriend would be Harry Styles of One Direction. Two years earlier, I had discovered One Direction through a gif of Liam Payne that I found searching Google Images for references of pretty boys to draw poorly for my Deviant Art. The Gif was posted to Tumblr, a website I had heard about in various online forums I had no business being on as a child. I spent an hour clicking through the various rebloggers, searching for more information on One Direction, before I found out about One Direction Twitter through a blog that also posted 90s era Sailor Moon gifs with a feminist slant. Looking at that blog, I thought to myself, "Wow. This is special. This is adult."

Because Tumblr was so #special and #adult, I decided to honor the website's age rules. So I waited. I waited two years, biding my time by bookmarking key Tumblr Blogs shared across the "trash" side of One Direction Twitter and the Sailor Moon themed blog. Bad 1d Imagines, Katara (later, of shrimp fried this rice fame), a very #cool teenager I later learned lived a few towns away from me and fantasized about meeting, etc etc. The minute I turned 13, I opened up an account and followed them all.

Tumblr gave me a community, it gave me guidance, and, most importantly it gave me a space to safely be a girl. I grew up on the internet during the 2000s, which was a decidedly terrible time for being a girl. Genuinely enjoying girly things was a sign of weakness and cringe. Eschewing girly things or embracing Girl Power meant you wanted to be a boy, or worse, were a lesbian. Insisting you had rights, asking for better treatment, or just simply existing as girl invited disdain, hostility, and violence from total strangers. The way people talked about girls on the internet, in magazines, in the news, on the playground, and in my household made it clear that being a girl was the worst thing I could be. There was no way out, and there was no way to win. I was trapped, and I hated it. I wanted to be three years old and enjoying 90s sailor moon and dancing to EVERYBODY by Backstreet Boys. I could settle for reblogging it while British boys sang about how Katy Perry is on replay in my bedroom.

Tumblr not only gave me the language to define this feeling and frustration, it provided me space to explore girlhood and slowly get rid of the negativity I was taught to associate with it. Looking back, I can say it also saved me from going down a right-wing pipeline that many other chronically online white, suburban children with negligent parents fell into in the early 2010s.

I left Tumblr in 2016. I told myself, I was going to college, and it was time to be an #adult, and Tumblr no longer felt #adult. Looking back, I had definitely just hit a boiling point with a few key issues--- the fact that my fave blogs were moving on to Twitter and Youtube, the inescapable amount of Hamilton and Onceler content on the site, the realization that I left a trove of online evidence of my Dr. Who phase, the lingering frustration over never going viral on here, and the creeping realization that I had spent so much time trying to earn strangers approval on the same site that was doing discourse about Onceler p-rn instead of putting effort into my offline friends. But I didn't want to think about that. I couldn't. Instead, I just told myself I simply had gotten everything out of Tumblr that I needed from Tumblr, and it was time to be an adult.

At the very adult age of 27, I decided to log into my Tumblr for the first time in years. It's been a long time coming. A few years ago, I befriended someone who was Tumblr famous (lowkey) and, as expected, is extremely cool and funny. We talk about how thankful we are for it, and how cool and funny it made us, even though it felt like we were in the trenches. We speak in references only known to those who have our specific brand of tumblr brain rot, and exchange stories about 2014 era online drama that were exclusive to our specific feeds.

Two years ago, I half-jokingly predicted a Tumblr resurgence, and they said something like, "resurgence? it never died." Last year, Liam Payne died at 33, an age I couldn't imagine reaching when I first saw that gif, but I now recognize as incredibly young, and I thought about Tumblr. I thought about how I wanted to get married to Harry Styles, and laughed about how I thought I would be getting married at 27.

This year, I started reading Kaitlyn Tiffany's book, "Everything I need from you: How fangirls created the internet as we know it." It's about online culture and One Direction. I justified purchasing it by telling myself I was preparing for grad school and rediscovering more informative forms of entertainment than my current go-to: endlessly scrolling social media sites that monetize my attention spans and then use ad money to subsidize (primarily) right wing content and political movements. In reality, I just love One Direction, fangirls, and the internet-- enough to write a masters thesis about it.

I am 27 and I am nostalgic for Tumblr. And on my 27th birthday, it finally feels right to reconnect with a time in my life where I had the least amount of empathy for myself, on a platform that earnestly set me down the path towards developing that empathy. So here I am, deciding to not only open my blog, but post about this. EW!

A year ago, I never thought I would say those words. But I have spent the past week reading about fangirls and thinking about all the internet history lost because people deleted links or deactivated their tumblrs. I spent the last four years frustrated about all the incomplete, inaccessible, or missing links I find trying to write up a research report for work. I understand the importance of archiving. In the moment, reblogging a Liam Payne gif or a video of a Barney stuffed animal getting shot and then told to meet his maker felt ephemeral and silly. But it can mean some silly researcher, 10 years down the line, has a better understanding of what life was like for you when you were 13 or 16. And it means that you may have a better chance of seeing that video, 20 years down the line, and suddenly getting transported back to your childhood bedroom, and remembering what it felt like to be a teenage girl.

Posting and deleting is a philosophical practice ™ . Embracing your humiliating online archive is, I would argue, an act of historical preservation and radical sincerity, which has become a scarce commodity on social media. As a woman in a Garfield costume once told me, to cringe is proof that you have changed and grown up a little-- to cringe is to be alive.

All this is to say, I'm logging off to do laundry and be a 27 year old adult with job and responsibilities and agency, and thankfully, none of it involves planning a wedding to Harry Styles or anyone else. But I am keeping My Tumblr online, hopefully for forever-- or at least until Yahoo or whoever pulls the plug and this website kicks the bucket. I am doing so because My Tumblr is an archive of my (frankly embarrassing!) history as a dangerously online teenage girl. It serves as a testament to my own development as a person, as evidence of our collective ability to change and grow and possibly even log off, and, maybe as a resource for internet researchers.

happy posting

[clartidk123]

Sometimes im like "Im a horrible person for liking fanon" then i remember "You are a fucking minor what the fuck you fucking piece of shit overthinking bitch"

[infiniteglitterfall]

Gimme that pastrami.

I only suspected because I went down the research rabbit hole the first time I saw one of these.

It was some PFLP -- sorry, I mean PYM -- speaker. I was extremely surprised to see her wearing an Israel pendant. Then I image searched it, found out there are hundreds of these things ranging in price from dirt cheap to $500+, and somewhere along the way realized that there was a tiny difference in the two maps.

Good news! When they violently destroy Israel, they'll apparently let the survivors keep the Golan Heights!

The bad news is, now we have to free Allah too:

Went to buy a kippah big enough to I don’t have to use a clip (I have sensory issues with the clip) on Etsy, and after I bought a it Etsy was like:

“Continue browsing?”

I’m not very good at taking my feelings and putting them into words, but all I did was buy something related to Judaism, and this.

The “Palestine” with outline of Israel on top is just the icing on the shitty antisemitic cake.

[couldeatthatgirlforlunch]

OMG I have an idea

What if a villain hit reader with a love potion and the Yandere JL has to deal with reader being obsessed with one of them until it wears off🙏🙏😭(I LITERALLY LOVE YOUR YAN JL WORKDGHBJB)

A Day in Life: Love Pollen

Synopsis: A day in your life where you get hit with love pollen, get kidnapped, and are rescued by the Justice League.

Pairing: Yandere!Justice League X Assistant!Gn!Reader

Tw: 18+; PDA; Dry humping; Kinda public sex bc they're in a deserted island’s beach, so it's basically out in the open but no one’s around; Dubcon/noncon bc, you know, love-and-kinda-sex pollen; Also maybe drugging bc of that; Writer is the Justice League's weakness; Hal Jordan is a little shit; Needles; English is not my 1st language.

Word count: 2,1k

Requested? Yes.

Extra notes: I imagine the League’s marketing will have a hard time after this little stunt, I mean, there's no way no one caught that on camera

General masterlist | A Day in Life - Series masterlist

The Legion of Doom had a plan. They invaded a political event in Metropolis, with the presence of the Justice League as the president’s security team, the League being the target. First, Poison Ivy release pollen throughout the whole city, as a distraction, making people hallucinate that they were in love with one another. Crazy in love. It would be okay, if her experiment didn't cause chaos. All over the streets, some people were having sex out in the open, some were fighting and killing because of jealousy and cheating, some were committing robberies to give their “loved ones”. It was pure chaos and only the quick reflexes, powers and gadgets from the League spared the team from getting hit.

Half the team went to deal with the distraction, saving and restraining people, giving them the antidote, etc. The other half, took care of the villains. After a few hours, the Legion of Doom was taken down and the city’s security and health workers took over the job, the chaos being a lot easier to contain since they were spreading the antidote through the air, it would take at least an hour to spread it throughout the whole city, and then the ones who somehow weren't able to breath it, but mostly, just the mess left behind was the real issue.

You were standing with the rest of the crew on the event, watching the League and the politicians discoursing for the press and TV. When the mayhem started, for the first few seconds, you got startled and froze. Looking between the League, the scared crowd, and the villains invading the place. Suddenly, you breathed some thick smoke and your eyes shot to the heroes, silently urging them to do something, when your eyes locked on Green Lantern’s, the pollen’s effect kicked in. You got dizzy, something snapped, and then everything changed.

Wait, when did Green Lantern's jaw got so sharp? And his muscles so defined? Oh, and he was so big and tall. Did he do something to his hair? Wow, his ring is glowing now and he's flying. He's so cool and powerful. A true hero. Shit, he's coming in my direction. Hehe, he's using a construct to lift me and my coworkers to a safer place as if it was nothing. Imagine flying with him every day. How does he look without the mask? Ugh, must be perfect, if his jaw and lips were anything to go by. I can't even see the color of his eyes! And- and please stop looking me in the eyes and touching my shoulders and asking me if I'm okay, of course I am, I'm with you. No. Nooo. Come back here! Let the others deal with the bad guys, I'm right hereee! Nooooo!

You were depressed and deflated the whole time your soulmate was away. A journalist team from outside the city arrived at some point and you were able to watch the fight — Normally, Lois Lane would do the transmission, but she's too busy making out with her cameraman, she was in the crowd too. —. You started crying watching your lover fighting with Sinestro. When he won, and everything was fine, was when you finally calmed down and just started anxiously waiting while ignoring your colleagues strange antics, one of them even hitting on you. Didn't she know you and Green Lantern were in love?

When the League was back, the paramedics were starting to give the crew the antidote, you were next in line, however, as soon as you saw the heroes, you broke into a sprint.

�� Green! — You yelled, catching everyone off guard. Even more so when you jumped and hooked your legs around the brunette’s waist, your arms around his neck, and kissed him passionately.

Hal was so shocked that it took him two seconds to reciprocate the kiss, ignoring completely the gasps from his friends. You moaned against his lips, mumbling a jumbled mess of “I love you”, “I missed you”, “was so worried”, “so glad you're back”.

Someone groaned.

— Batman, just give them that damn antidote before I lose it. — Batman grunted and Hal struggled but managed to separate your faces for a moment. You tried to push your face towards his again, but he grabbed your jaw. You kept forcing your face against his hand and whining. It was really cute, and your willingness and the previous sensation of your lips ignited something in his belly, yet, he looked to the side just in time to see Batman preparing the needle, the rest of the League sulking on the side and glaring at him.

His mind worked rapidly, ignoring the texture of your soft lips pampering kisses against the skin of his hand. When he felt the tip of your tongue, he made a decision.

A bad one.

— Yeah. I don't think so. — Green Lantern conjured several chain constructs, chaining the League's arms and ankles to the ground. It wouldn't hold off the ones like Superman and Wonder Woman who were strong enough to break it, and Martian Manhunter who could just invade his mind or use his intangibility, Flash was also pretty capable of taking him on, but Hal was smart and sagacious. Still holding you, he made a rocket construct around you both and took off.

Really, a terrible idea.

Superman and Wonder Woman, in a cry of rage, broke the chains. Diana unsheathed her sword, her feet not even touching the ground anymore, flying, ready to go after the traitor. Martian passed through the construct, while Superman went to break Batman and Aquaman free, Flash vibrated fast to rearrange his particles and also escaped.

— We need a plan. — Batman’s voice stopped the amazon warrior from going in a hunt for blood. He was already stressing over what the marketing team could do to fix this.

— A plan? We can defeat the enemy and retreat my darling if we go now! — Wonder Woman barked.

— Green Lantern is impulsive. If we go now we can destroy the whole state and hurt (Y/N) in the process. He won't give them up easily.

— Batman's right. — Superman agreeds. — Flash, follow them and see where they’re going. — The speedster nodded and took off.

Barry shook his head, cursing his idiot best friend the whole way.

Between the whole team, Hal was clearly the only one who would be okay with you falsely loving them. The rest wanted something more genuine for you. Some of them would settle for you not loving them as much as they loved you, some wanted you to feel exactly the same amount of what they felt. Hal still loved you just like them, but he always had that certain level of insecurity that craved to be better than anyone, to impress, making everything a competition, and the sensation of being the only one to have you could certainly cloud his judgment and accept your love, even if fake. He just thought he could compensate by treating you the right way, and not just using that opportunity to do whatever he wanted with you, just because he could and you wouldn't complain. He could make this about you both, and not just about him.

Either way, every one of them (thought) they deserved their fair chance at winning you over.

— Manhunter, can you still read his mind and tell what he is thinking? — Manhunter nodded and his eyes started glowing, there was a second of silence before he spoke.

— It's getting weaker as he gets more distant. It's purely impulsive thinking. Green Lantern isn't considering the consequences and means no harm against Earth or us. — Batman nodds.

— That's a shame. I mean harm. — Wonder Woman mutters, Batman glared and Superman side-eyed her. Batman turned his communication on.

— Flash, tell us when they stop moving.

— If he touches them, I will personally kill him. — Aquaman darkly states. Superman took a step in his direction, facing him head on.

— No, you won't. — The two stared at one another intently, until Batman broke the silence.

— Focus. We don't have time for this. — The dark knight stated.

— We need to be collected and work as a team to act smoothly on our plan. — Martian reminds them. Wonder Woman steps down again and sheats her sword. They all form a circle and start planning.

The sky was never this blue and the sand never this warm and soft. Even with the warmth of the sun being so intense, you were laying on a palm tree's shadow, and the air was flowing just fine. What was actually making you sweat was the dry humping you and your soulmate were doing.

You don't remember ever getting so aroused in your whole life, and can't remember ever desiring someone so much. You could kill someone if they dared to try and steal him away from you.

Hal felt you carding your fingers through his hair and pull slightly, giving him shiver, and he squeezed the flesh of your hips. You moaned against his lips at a particularly stronger wave of pleasure. The clothes were a curse, stopping you from feeling the real him, so you desperately started clawing at his clothes. Green Lantern breathily chuckled.

— Relax, hot stuff, we have time… — He whispers with a smirk. The man held your hands and laid them on the ground, above your head. You just moaned, more needy, and pushed your hips against his, eliciting a hiss from his red and swollen lips.

His hands started unbottoning your shirt and freeing the fabric out of your pants. You kept your hands were they were and watched, eyes wide open, when he descended kisses from the middle of your chest, going south, only pausing at your waistband.

As much as you wanted to feel his mouth more, seeing him so covered and not being able to properly touch him was making you restless, so you sat up, surprising him, and started pulling up the fabric at the back of his neck. Hal chuckled and shook his head, humoring your needs. He helped you take it off, then pushed your own shirt down your arms, until it was off.

You paused, admiring his adonis body. Your heart raced and eyes watered, never having seen something so perfect your whole life. Even his scars were beautiful. His chest hair and happy trail looked really soft and somehow he looked even more muscled, strong and beautiful. You wonder why you rejected him before.

Hal Jordan basked in your amazed gaze, loving to show off, especially while doing nothing. He frowned weakly, and gave a reassuring grin when you pouted, slumped and frowned.

— What's this, sweetheart? I thought you were enjoying this. — To lift your mood, he started running his hands up and down your sides.

— I wanted to see your face… — Hal remained silent for a few seconds. They would tell you their identities eventually, and that fact kept being brought up on reunions. They all knew at some point, you would have to know, to really start a relationship, yet, Batman, and his paranoia, kept them all from telling you. Sometimes, it felt like a sabotage, but mostly, it made sense, since the guy had a bunch of kids, who could be in danger if the information somehow got leaked, still, you couldn't trust to let them in, if they didn't let you in. That was the only reason you didn't trust them, of course.

Also, a face was not a name. Hal wasn't famous, so how bad could it be? Especially if it would turn you on so much, and when you looked so damn cute. His own lust was also influencing his critical thinking, which was already second place to his impulsiveness.

Hal bit his lower lip and brought his face closer to yours, a few centimeters away from having your noses touching.

— Okay… Take it off… — You let out a happy squeal and reached up with both hands. Your heart pounded with anticipation, making you go slower to savor the intimacy even more. Hal closed his eyes when he felt the gentle tug, against his wishes to watch your eagerness and your lip biting in anticipation. His heart was also pounding.

You saw his right eye closed and his thick eyebrow, when suddenly, a loud noise rang out, scaring the shit out of you and prompting Hal to fix the mask again, get up and assess for danger.

He finally fell to his senses and realized something.

He just took the worst decisions ever.

Everything happened too fast. Flash was on your side, holding a needle to your arm, and Green Lantern was being thrown around by a red and blue blur. Only the feminine rageful scream gave you the hint to who it was.

You got up, ready to die for your soulmate, when the antidote kicked in.

You threw up.

Comment, like and reblog 🥰

DC Taglist:

@wandalfnation @vadersassistant

[oscillating-fan-whore5]

Hi!

My name is Elliot, the depressed teen (and Co.) who runs this blog :3

Yap blog and Fandom posts ☆ he/him

Baking blog: @baketherude

(Flash warning⚠️ Under cut I have a blinkie wall that has many flashes. Flashless intro can be found here. )

☆Important Details!☆

•I'm a minor, for privacy and paranoia reasons I will not disclose my exact age

•I struggle with my mental health alot so if that bleeds over into this blog i apologize but you get what you get. Sometimes I have sort of episodes other times I just scream into the void, I do have a vent blog tho

•I have EDS (waiting for genetic testing in December, so I don't know what type yet but its suspected hEDS). I also have suspected autism but no diagnosis (I am peer review by autistic friends/hj) so if my social skills fucking suck I apologize.

•I suspect I'm an OSDD system, I don't have any sort of diagnosis but there are multiple of us so yea 73% of the time they aren't a problem on here but if you see posts referring to me in the 3rd person that's why

•I get super passionate abt topics I like and if you engage in them with me I will talk ur ear off

•I struggle to respond to DMs (hardly ever will, please don't take offense) and other notifs. Please remind me if it takes too long, I have most likely forgotten about it :')

☆Don't do this on my blog- Queer discourse, queer infighting, drama, trigger my paranoia, bigots be an asshole, zionists, basic dni. ☆

☆CW// Slight mentions of mental health issues (nothing major dw), Mentions of cannibalism, slight autocannibalism mentions, blood mentions, me being a stupid idiot, computer fucking, suggestive stuff sometimes (nothing seriously nsfw!!!!!)☆

☆Interests☆

•NBC Hannibal

•Baking (I sell things at the farmers market as well) ♡

•Crows, ravens, and other corvids ♡

•Socially intelligent animals (like corvids, orcas, dogs, etc)

•Dead Boy Detectives

•The Umbrella Academy

•Psychology (specifically social behaviors)

•Percy Jackson (not much anymore but if someone likes it I'll yap with them)

•Music (I am a musician btw! Not professional but I play things)♡

•Invincible

•The Boys

☆Links☆

Credits ☆ tags ☆ Vent blog (TW TW TW) ☆ Baking Blog

[luniviravosshipper]

At the risk of upsetting some people and inciting discourse, I’m not going to tag this fully at this exact moment.

Also, CW/TW: talk of suicide and depression.

I’m rewatching some scenes from season 6 right now.

And it legitimately makes me feel so sick to my stomach watching the scene of Viren deciding not to hand Soren the letter, which would detail his last words, on the pretense that it would not offer empowerment to him. Not only does he withhold it, but he outright burns the letter so it could never be seen by any other eyes besides his own.

Like, just thinking about all of the subtext that dates back to the very beginning of the show surrounding the idea that Viren could have been depressed.

It actually makes me so, so angry that not only all the characters but the writers themselves very vocally believe that Viren was completely undeserving of being heard or acknowledged as a person because he wasn’t a good one.

And, that’s not even going into the whole servant motif with him that, by the way, has some incredibly classist undertones given how Viren almost canonically grew up poor and is the only character we know of who is indicated to have been and is also the only character who has been constantly ridiculed for his status and seeking out of power by every other character of a similar status to him. And the show decides to fucking affirm all that ridiculing by forcing Viren to wear the same garments he was draped in for a “purifying” ritual conducted by a group of elves who very clearly had racial biases against humans in the scene of him sacrificing himself while claiming to be a servant by using dark magic to help people, the very thing he decided to let go of in part because of the judgement he received for supposedly not being able to help others with it and for being the thing that made him be viewed as lesser then his actual earned status.

I have so many qualms alone with that. The fact that the show used the idea of servitude, which would have been fine if they had used it any other way because it is obviously very relevant and important to his arc, to dehumanize him. (They outright contradict what it means to be truly serviceable to others by denying Viren the right to actually atone for anything he did and to only accept whatever punishment and treatment he’d receive for what he’d done. Instead of helping others, he is forced to be isolated from everyone and locked up till he is needed to save an entire kingdom of people who will never directly recognize his efforts in saving them. His interpersonal relationships played such a big role in his arc up to that point. And now he wasn’t allowed to be acknowledged by anyone on an interpersonal level besides Soren, and only to a very small extent? Most of the people he wronged he did on an interpersonal level, yet he wasn’t allowed to do anything whatsoever to “make up” for what he did for those individual people?)

Also, the fact that somehow Viren denying himself the chance to be perceived fully by others and allow himself to be emotionally vulnerable (so much of his arc revolves around his struggles with introspection) was what the series considered empowering for Soren when it’s really just punishing Viren more then.

It is actually, really upsetting. It makes me angry, it makes me sad, almost to the point of making me cry. Straight up, I just have such a visceral reaction every time I rewatch any of the scenes starring Viren in season 6. Yes, I know that seems extreme. I don’t know, just the idea that the show thinks a character is deserving of being denied help or simply acknowledgment for struggling with depression or being killed in such a way that it is very comparable to committing suicide is totally fine (especially considering how this is a kids’ show and what message kids can get from this,) if they are unlikable or deemed a bad person (even though their chances to prove they are anything but those things or at least can become anything but those things are denied). (Could even go into what this communicates about imperfect victims of mental health struggles.)

[crabfeet9]

My favourite mental illness reps:

TW for a bunch of stuff btw (sh, suicide, substance abuse, death, abuse, sexual stuff and some more)

Oyasumi Punpun. It's a first-person POV manga and it's quite disturbing, but still a masterpiece. Only read it if you are on the right headspace pls

Needy Streamer Overload/Needy Girl Overdose. A pixel style game where you manage your streamer gf and help her reach her goal of 1m subs. Ame is severely mentally ill and a clear variation of the "I can fix her" discourse. You can't fix her, but she can fix herself. If you want to play the game: it contains substance abuse, suicide, self harm and 18+ topics like sexual livestream and such. Peak game tho

Neon Genesis Evangelion. Old school anime about kids fighting angels inside of robots. It has themes about humanity, morals, depression, suicidal idealism, hypersexuality, identity, sense of loss and much more. I definitely reccomend it, but please try to understand the characters deeper than surface level.

Metamorphosis. It's Kafka. It can be interpreted both literally and metaphorically. I took it both ways, but if you take Gregor transforming into a bug as a metaphor for mental illness, it'll work just as fine as him just waking up as a bug. It's a short book, there's no harm in reading it.

Videogames(I won't dive deep into them):

D4DJ. It's an anime rhythm game, but the characters are adults. A character that stood out was Sophia. Ppl will call her "bad rep", but not every mentally ill person is good. I like her. My wife

Project Sekai. Specifically Nightcord, one of it's bands. The whole game has characters dealing with loneliness, bullying, identity, passion, isolation, and self esteem. Also a rhythm gacha game.

BanG Dream. The game has a lot of characters, but the ones that stand out are MyGo! and Ave Mujica. I don't want to spoil them, but you can watch the anime on crunchyroll, read the ingame stories or just listen to the songs. Again, anime rhythm gacha game, but very peak.

I want to reccomend Enstars, but I can't.

Persona. Persona 3 especially dives into death, living and finding your purpose. It's one of the best games I played. Persona 4 and 5 are also great, talking about being honest with yourself and not letting baseless rumours get to you. Cringey ahh anime game, but so peak. There's also P1 and P2, but they're too confusing to explain.

Uhhh, correct me if I got anything wrong pls. There's so much more I could mention (Omori, CSM, Sensitive Boy) but it would've been too big

[hrtbrkrz]

SO, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED IN 2021 ... ?!

Well, look no further, because we have all the answers to all your questions.

In 2021, KRUSH was at the top of their game. Coming off the heels of a massively successful comeback and gearing up for one of their most iconic releases yet, the girls were simply unstoppable. But there was one member who had the biggest star power of them all that year: Kaleina Jung. Her viral solo debut in January took the industry by storm, positioning her as one of BigHit's most profitable artists and the bar for the rest of KRUSH's solo debuts. However, despite Kaleina's career success, not all was well.

Privately, she was going through it. After publicly coming out during one of KRUSH's concerts just two years prior, GGBs were split straight down the middle at how they received the news. Half of them loved it, and the other half hated it. They called for BigHit to kick her out the group, wrote letters to her, burned her merch, trended #KaleinaOut and #KRUSH_Is_3, tried to delude themselves into thinking her bisexuality "wasn't real," and even boycotted the entire group. Obviously, Kaleina saw all of it.

Driven to depression and diagnosed with anxiety disorder, she was almost placed on hiatus in early 2020. That never happened, though, as Kaleina was adamant on finishing her activities with KRUSH. As the year dragged on, however, everything just got worse for her, and it all came to a head in 2021.

So, just what happened during that fateful year? Well, ask no more. All your questions will be answered right here, right now.

( TW // HOMOPHOBIA ... lots of it + BRIEF MENTION OF HYBE )

It's June 2019. KRUSH has just finished their show in Los Angeles, a small part of their massive world tour. That night, Kaleina does something rather bold for an idol of her caliber. She comes out as bisexual in front of a crowd of thousands, pulling out a flag from inside of her pocket. Despite the love from the crowd and support from her fellow members, a small part of the internet is about to tear Kaleina to shreds.

First it started with an outcry of "disappointment," but then it escalated to the letters. These are a few written by K-GGBs in 2019. One of them reads, "I cannot support an idol who thinks engaging in this type of sin is right. Kyung-ja has betrayed her fans' trust by doing such things, and as long as she's still a member of KRUSH, I will not be pouring my time and energy into them any longer. BigHit, make the right choice and remove Kyung-ja from the team. She is poisoning the rest of the girls."

One of Kaleina's largest fansites, @/LEINAISMS, shut down following Kaleina's announcement. They returned a day later to call for Chanhee's appointment as KRUSH's new leader, promising to rebrand as a Chanhee fansite... but that never happened.

As the year closed out, the "discourse" surrounding Kaleina's sexuality began to take a toll on her. In screenshots obtained from her private Instagram stories, she expresses just how sad she is at the divide revealing her sexuality has caused. And to whoever leaked these, you kind of suck, by the way.

Screenshots of the leaked stories. There was another that reportedly read "what will my fucking company think," but that was quickly deleted and the leaker wasn't able to attain a screenshot. There was also one that read "like y'all are trending HASHTAGS to get me KICKED OUT MY GROUP," but the leaker wasn't able to attain that one, either. After these screenshots began circulating, Kaleina quickly deleted her story and deactivated her private account. It was down for nearly a year.

Koreaboo later reported that a source close to Kaleina told Dispatch that she had such frequent panic attacks that she was almost unable to complete a performance or step in front of a camera, which led to her aforementioned anxiety diagnosis. She began expressing doubts surrounding her capabilities as a leader, something she had never done before, and was "very upset" that something that she was excited to share with fans was turned into something so ugly.

This report quieted things down a bit, but in no way did it satiate KRUSH's oddly homophobic fans. In fact, they only doubled down, sharing pictures of them burning Kaleina's merch and physically cutting her out of group photos. It got to the point where her own family had to respond.

The year came to an end, and publicly, Kaleina was looking fine. Everyone knew that she wasn't, though. especially considering the month long "sort of hiatus" she was put on during Test Drive promotions back in November 2019. Throughout 2020, one of KRUSH's biggest years career wise, the Kaleina hate train never truly stopped, but since it was considered "old news," it didn't get too much attention from GGBs anymore. However, that certain subsection of "fans" didn't want their message to fall on deaf ears, and they got the perfect opportunity to be as loud as possible by Kaleina's solo debut.

A video was posted to YouTube by a now deleted user in January 2021, showing Korean fans screaming "leave," "we don't need you," and "you've committed a sin" during Kaleina's performance of "Cobra." The video went viral, garnering over two million views in the three days that it was left up. After those three days, however, the video was taken down and the user who posted it was mysteriously deleted. That same day, BigHit released a statement notifying fans that they would be taking legal action against any malicious comments or actions directed at Kaleina, and that anyone involved in the "cheering" that was seen in the video would be blacklisted from any upcoming KRUSH events, which included music show broadcasts.

"Hello, this is BigHit Entertainment. It's recently come to our attention that the hate leveled against Kaleina has gotten to levels that we can no longer ignore. Since 2019, Kaleina herself has informed us that she wishes not to take legal action against malicious commenters and the individuals who spread misinformation against her. However, regarding a recent incident that occurred at KBS Music Bank, we can no longer continue to let these issues go unheeded. After discussing this with Kaleina, she has agreed to allow us to take legal action against anyone who thinks cyberbullying our artist is a good idea. Anyone who does so will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, and will be required to answer to the corresponding District Court. Additionally, anyone who took part in the KBS Music Bank incident will be blacklisted from any official KRUSH activities (concerts, fan meetings, showcases, broadcasts, etc.) from here on out. We, BigHit Entertainment, and Kaleina ask you for your sincere support and understanding. Thank you."

BigHit finally issuing a statement did cause the situation to briefly die down, but the timing of this video surfacing was definitely interesting considering what would happen next. Dispatch would rear its ugly head once again, and they would release an article that would change everything. So if you thought for a second that everything was over, then you are sorely mistaken. Shit would truly hit the fan now.

February 2nd, 2021. Only a few short weeks into Kaleina's promotions for "Cobra." All is (somewhat) well in KRUSH-land for a while, until Dispatch does what they always do. The second the article read around the world hit the internet, Kaleina's dating "scandal" went down as one of the most prolific ones in K-pop history.

The article was pretty cut and dry, sharing alleged photos of Kaleina and an unknown female choreographer at a restaurant together, supposedly looking closer than regular friends or colleagues would. According to the source who witnessed it, the unspecified female in question (known as Female A in the article) was placing her hand on Kaleina's waist, kissed her on the forehead, and apparently, they also held hands (oh, the horror) and kissed. On the lips. And in the split second that Kaleina forgot to put her mask back up, the anonymous source caught a picture of her. It was basically confirmed: Kaleina had a girlfriend.

But, how did said source know that it was a choreographer specifically? Well, apparently they could "tell." Verbatim, they said that, "the other woman just had that vibe to her."

...Okay.

A couple of days later, Dispatch obtained another photo, this one being of Kaleina and the choreographer boarding a private flight to Los Angeles. Allegedly, it was for a solo schedule that Kaleina was meant to attend, but oddly enough, she was going with Female A. Seeing as she was a choreographer (apparently), this made sense from a work standpoint, but as always, netizens spun it to mean something else entirely, especially since Female A and Kaleina were literally both seen together just a few days prior. The same source as before was also the one to feed this information to Dispatch, and they'd allegedly obtained Kaleina's flight information by paying airport employees. Unfortunately.

Another couple of days later, though, the initial article was updated. This time, with another batch of leaked photos. And these ones were something else.

All the photos that were leaked. The worst part? They were taken from Kaleina's iCloud, which was reportedly hacked by the leaker in question. The fact that these were the only nine they released means that they were searching, and only God knows if they could've released more. The photos (one of which—second in the middle row—was taken by Aeri and sent to Kaleina) were grainy and looked edited to hell for some reason, and no one really knew if the other woman was who they were thinking, but some eagle-eyed GGBs were certain it was.

Just a few hours later, more photos were released. At the rate that all this was happening, make no mistake that this was the story of the week. Stans were up and down Twitter wondering what was going to happen next. One half was happy for Kaleina and wanted the breaches of her privacy to stop already, the other half wanted her head on a pike.

The photos that were leaked were more Instagram stories, one from Kaleina that was accidentally uploaded to her official Instagram account, rather than a separate account (which was another private account speculated to possibly belong to her girlfriend). The other was from Sienna Yoon's official account, dating back to early 2019.

Wait... Sienna Yoon?

Apparently, Female A's identity had been revealed.

Now, the first photo apparently dated back to late 2020, which is when a lot of people think Kaleina and Sienna began dating... and the photo definitely reinforces their suspicions. The second photo, as mentioned before, dated all the way back to early 2019. Mind you, Kaleina wasn't even publicly out yet, and at the time, she and Sienna were widely known to be close friends.

However, GGBs also knew that they tended to act closer than "close friends" should.

They would be together almost all the time, with the other members of KRUSH even outwardly joking that outside of practice, they spent the most time together. Even during practice, Sienna would heap the most attention onto Kaleina, and they would get oddly touchy with each other, even while on camera. One major thing is that Sienna would frequently call Kaleina "baby girl," which... is something Sienna herself admitted that she just does. A lot of GGBs simply chalked it up to them being really close or labeled it as something south of fanservice, but within BigHit, everyone could tell. There was tension. And if you were a GGB and particularly observant (or just insane), you could tell, too.

Following these leaks and sometime in March, Kaleina sent a series of texts to her bandmate and famed best friend, Aeri Yamamoto. In them, she expressed her (understandable) frustration towards the situation, and ended the conversation by saying that if the texts were also leaked, she wouldn't be surprised.

Surprise, surprise. The texts were leaked, revealed by none other than Koreaboo. Shortly afterwards, Kaleina was seen with a new phone outside of M Countdown, as KRUSH had just made their comeback with their fourth full album, Heartbreak's Daughter. She was serious.

Now, GGBs were calling for the leaks to stop. They were trending #LeaveKaleinaAlone and #BigHitDoSomething practically non-stop for weeks. Others were calling her a crybaby and "someone who wasn't fit for fame," and even Aeri was getting dragged into it. But even with that, Kaleina's "dating scandal" was still the one thing on everyone's minds.

By now, Sienna's name was 100% attached to the so-called "scandal." However, could anyone really verify for sure that Kaleina's girlfriend was actually her? The aforementioned Instagram story was posted two years prior, and it looked like exactly what it was: a friendly outing. Maybe Sienna and Kaleina really were just friends, and the unknown girl was someone else entirely.

But you know what would change everyone's minds?

That infamous Twitter thread.

In the thread, the user @/leinanator (who, at the time, was one of Kaleina's biggest fan accounts), known commonly as Carlie, starts off by pointing out a lot of things that GGBs were already aware of. However, she then began going into things that no one even noticed, which really sealed the deal for a lot of people. For one, back in October 2020, Sienna was seen wearing Kaleina's bisexual flag bracelet that she made in July 2019 in a choreography video posted by YGX. That was definitely interesting, considering that Kaleina never let anyone wear the bracelet, not even her own bandmates.

Other pieces of evidence from around this time period included the multiple instances where they were at the same place at around the same time, Kaleina's posts showing her at the YGX dance studio, and even a few instances where Sienna would talk about Kaleina in ways that friends would not talk about their friends.

Carlie would go on to point out some of Kaleina's lyrics, dating all the way back to September-October 2020 to as recently as January 2021, when Cobra was released. During a live in September 2020, she shared a page of her notebook, where she wrote an unfinished song about an anonymous girl, describing their first meeting. In the live, Kaleina said it was a song she wrote "on a whim," and that it could "possibly be a love song." A lot of lyrics penned by her in some of KRUSH's B-sides point to Kaleina's attraction to women, with clear, often repeated details across nearly every song.

Immediately after being posted, this thread went viral. Within the first hour, GGBs were all over it, with many posting other supposed connections and others claiming that the thread was posted in bad faith. Which... was it? Well...

Apparently, Carlie was so big that she actually kind of knew Kaleina herself. She was very vocal about knowing of Kaleina since her Produce days and attending nearly every KRUSH-related schedule since their debut, and supposedly, Kaleina actually followed her shortly after the account launched all the way back in January 2016. They were nowhere near close friends, but they were at least familiar with each other, and had been for five years at that point. Which makes that thread just a little worse.

At least Carlie didn't air out any more personal information.

But it would only get even worse from here.

A month went by with nothing but pure speculation going on and a few Koreaboo articles here and there, and throughout all of it, Kaleina was still actively promoting with KRUSH, looking as unbothered as ever in public. In May, however, Deuxmoi of all websites suddenly got involved.

On May 6th, just two days after Kaleina's 21st birthday, a blind item was sent to Deuxmoi claiming that Kaleina was definitely, 100%, no speculation needed dating Sienna. However, what proof they did have weren't surface level connections. Apparently, they knew what was going on behind the scenes. They knew Kaleina and Sienna personally.

"I've known Kaleina Jung personally for a while, and everything you guys are saying about her relationship with Sienna Yoon is true. They've been dating for nearly a year now, and they've been close since early 2018, around January at least, and a month later, that was the first public mention of Sienna as KRUSH's choreographer. I prefer not to share them here, but I do have Twitter DMs between Kaleina and I discussing her relationship with Sienna dating as far back as March 2018 and as recently as late 2020. I've also spoken to Sienna before, and she's not exactly subtle regarding her feelings towards Kaleina. They're definitely dating."

'Til this day, GGBs are still trying to figure out who was the one behind the Deuxmoi blind item. However, their prime suspect has been Carlie for years. Although nearly two months passed in between her original thread and the blind item, the fact that the anon behind the latter was (allegedly) as close to Kaleina as Carlie was... it's definitely interesting.

Right after Deuxmoi posted, Carlie tweeted that Kaleina had supposedly unfollowed her. Since then, GGBs were quick to turn against her, unfollowing her en masse and bombarding her with hate. As June began, @/leinanator disappeared. Carlie had deactivated.

The aforementioned Carlie tweet. Although no one in the fandom will truly know who was behind that blind item, Carlie's reputation's as one of Kaleina's first and biggest fan accounts has forever been tainted.

Once Deuxmoi presented this as fact, it was basically over. The hatred for Kaleina reached its peak, with antis calling for her removal, shouting the most vile things known to man at her, boycotting KRUSH, and flooding her comments with hate all over again. Twitter's searches ranged from "Kaleina leave" to "Kaleina bad leader," and it even got to the point where antis were accusing her of prioritizing her relationship over her group... again.

In June, Kaleina disabled her Instagram comments. For the next six months, it was nothing but complete radio silence.

Sienna has been mentioned at least a thousand times so far, but who is she? Well, if you're an idol or at least a well-versed K-pop fan, there's a good chance that you know who she is.

Sienna Yoon (also known as Yoon Seo-yeon) was born on March 4th, 1996 in Seoul, South Korea. Although born in Korea, she was raised in San Antonio and New York City. As a child, she was placed in dance lessons by her parents in order for her to find some sort of hobby. When she entered middle school, Sienna became interested in K-pop, getting into groups such as Baby V.O.X and Wonder Girls. In 2009, she moved back to Korea with her mother, looking to join a training academy. A few months after she did, though, she was scouted by JYP Entertainment.

Sienna trained at JYP for a year and was placed into Miss A's lineup due to her dance skills. What's insane is that she actually ended up debuting with the group, but shortly after the release of "Good-bye Baby," Sienna went on hiatus due to an injury. That hiatus soon turned into her permanently leaving Miss A, and she would pretty much disappear for the rest of 2011. However, in 2012, it was revealed that she had joined CSJ Entertainment's subsidiary, Verse Creative, and was preparing for her re-debut in another girl group.

In May 2012, Sienna debuted again in the 5-member group Queen. The group's debut single, "Dancing Queen," (off of their debut EP of the same name) did well in Korea, replacing their labelmate DI-VERSE's recent single at number one on the charts for a few weeks. For a few years, Queen was almost comparable to DI-VERSE in popularity and were viewed as the former's "big sisters," (despite being their juniors) and as the group's main dancer (plus she was a former Miss A member), Sienna was among the most popular members.

However, as DI-VERSE began to vastly eclipse Queen in popularity, the group was gradually forgotten by the public. Their second to last comeback, released in late 2014, was their worst performing release. In 2015, it was announced by Verse Creative that Queen would be disbanding after releasing their final album in 2015. In April 2015, they officially disbanded. Ironically, their last release was one of their most successful.

Now, what happened to Sienna, you ask? Well, in 2016, she interestingly re-signed to JYP Entertainment. She kickstarted her highly anticipated solo debut with the single "Like that," off of her debut album, SEOYEON.

Sienna's debut did immensely well, selling over 16,000 copies within its first week and topping every chart in Korea. For the next two years, she would have pretty consistent comebacks, would start acting, and she even became somewhat of an influencer with the launch of her personal YouTube channel, SiSiSeo. However, in early 2018, it was announced that Sienna had terminated her contract with JYP and had effectively retired from music, preferring to focus on her career as a dancer. Sienna became one of the first talents signed to YGX, and she soon established her own dance team, KillaQueen. Over the next six years, Sienna became a renowned choreographer, working with artists such as Itzy, BLACKPINK, Somi, Aespa, Sunmi, NewJeans, her former labelmates DI-VERSE... and of course, KRUSH.

More recently, Sienna has choreographed dances for Katseye, BABYMONSTER, and MEOVV. In February 2023, she became one of The Black Label's creative directors, and was appointed as one of the creative directors for MEOVV in 2024.

Eventually, YGX folded in 2024, but with such a stacked roster and her years of experience, Sienna remained under The Black Label and dedicated most of her time to her dance group, and she established her own dance studio, Killa Studios. In 2023, she and KillaQueen competed on Street Woman Fighter 2, ending up in third place by the end of the show. Everyone already knew Sienna before, but everyone really knew her now.

And all of this made her dating "scandal" with Kaleina even crazier.

Throughout all of this, Kaleina is still promoting with KRUSH. She refuses to go on hiatus, but it's kind of clear that she doesn't want to interact with a lot of GGBs right now. During award show season, she's clearly fidgety and uncomfortable, a clear contrast in comparison to 2019 and prior. On stage, though, she's as "Kaleina" as ever. She gives some of her best performances of the year, but that's because that's her job. She kind of has to perform well.

Netizens are petitioning for Kaleina and even KRUSH as a whole to be blacklisted if she isn't removed from the group. They're sending letter after letter to broadcast stations, and reportedly (according to Dispatch), said stations are emailing BigHit and asking them to place Kaleina on hiatus until the entire thing blows over. Obviously, their suggestions go unheeded, and Kaleina remains with KRUSH for the rest of the year.

You're probably wondering: where was Sienna in all of this? Well, after getting dragged through the mud herself, she stopped posting earlier in the year, shortly after the situation escalated. She disabled her own Instagram comments, which was seen as some sort of "admission," but everyone already kind of... knew, and I would disable my comments too if I had a bunch of homophobes and freaks harassing me and my girlfriend and constantly trying to pry into our private lives.

However, in November, Sienna would finally break her silence in her first post in seven months. A rather lengthy statement, it read:

"Hi, everyone. Long time no see, right? First off, I want to apologize for being gone for so long. As you all probably know, it's been a tumultuous last couple of months. Although I would like to go into detail about how all of this has affected me, the purpose of this letter to you all is not to highlight me. Over the last few months, I've seen many of you wonder where I've been and why I haven't been publicly defending Kaleina. For one (and I have gotten permission to say this), she had advised me not to come out and say anything, as she feared that the harassment she'd been receiving would be directed at me. Recently, though, since she's turned off her comments and has been limiting her time online, she's allowed me to speak for her in a way. As of now, Kaleina is okay for the most part. She's been focusing mostly on promoting with the rest of KRUSH, since the girls are currently on tour, as many of you might know. However, her anxiety has also worsened since this year began, and it's become harder and harder for her to complete performances. Clearly, this is because of the relentless malice that's been directed at her over the last two years. To whoever's been participating in the hate train leveled against her, I kindly ask you to stop. Calling for her removal from KRUSH and harassing her because she is trying to be her authentic self gets you nowhere. It will not get you a better job, nor will it make you feel like a better person. Like her family, her members, and the staff at BigHit, I've seen the toll this has taken on Kaleina. It's not cute, so please, cut it out. As for me, I'm fine. I won't go into detail on my mental state since I'm clearly not the one in the public eye in comparison to Kaleina, but what I will say is that this situation has made me significantly unhappier and much more stressed out. It has also affected Kaleina and I's friendship in ways that are distressing to the both of us. I wish that I could wake up tomorrow and all of this will be over, but unfortunately, nothing's ever that easy. I want to end this very, very long letter by saying that I love you, my aegi-deul, so much. Even though I wont be posting as often for a multitude of reasons, that doesn't mean I suddenly hate any of you. Like the past few months, I just need to take a bit more time away. Plus, you can still find me on YGX's channel, so don't worry too much. This has gotten incredibly long, so I'll end it here. Like I said, I love you so much, and once again, please find it in your heart to give Kaleina some grace and leave her be. It'll be better for all of us. And to Kaleina, even though I can call you and say this, just know that I will always be here for you. Goodbye for now. - S <3"

Notably, Sienna's comments were no longer disabled, but limited, and back then, a lot of people were wondering what made her "change her mind." But that's not what's important right now. In response to Sienna's statement, GGBs got "#ThankYouSienna" to the top of the trending page, along with "#WeLoveYouKaleina." In a staggering display of love that Kaleina hadn't felt since 2019, the latter would trend practically nonstop for the next few months, and it really did look like things were actually starting to simmer down this time.

So 2021 drew to a close, and in came 2022. At the start of January, Kaleina suddenly re-enabled her comments, although like Sienna, not just anyone was allowed to camp under her Instagram. But, some progress was better than no progress.

And then, it happened.

On January 12th, 2022, BigHit released the statement that shook the industry to its core. In the big year of 2022, saying that something like this was "unprecedented" was honestly sad, but it really was. This was truly a first.

"Hello, this is BigHit Music. After careful deliberation and extensive communication with our artist, Kaleina, she has allowed us to publicly confirm her relationship with Sienna Yoon. After getting to know each other after the last few years, Kaleina and Ms. Yoon have been seeing each other romantically for a while now. We will not disclose much else on our artist's personal life, and we kindly ask you to not try and find out yourselves. Any breaches of privacy will be considered criminal, and you will be prosecuted as such. We, BigHit Music, and Kaleina sincerely ask you for your utmost respect, kindness, and understanding going forward. Thank you."

Needless to say, the reactions to this were insane. Tweet after tweet, news article after news article... this was at the forefront of every K-pop stan's mind for weeks. It had taken over Twitter timelines like the bubonic plague. But, surprisingly, unlike 2019, reactions were a lot more... tame.

Now, people were praising Kaleina and Sienna for being so open about their relationship, lauding Kaleina's choice to go public. One of the industry's biggest stars acknowledging her relationship? Crazy. Said star acknowledging her same sex relationship? Batshit.

A week later, Kaleina would take to Weverse with a statement of her own. For the first time in nearly a year, she had broken her silence. It was cause for celebration.

"Hello everyone. Kaleina here. I know, I've been sort of 'gone' for a long time. I apologize for that. It's been one terrible year, but I don't need to tell you all that for you to know. Anyways, a week ago, my company announced my relationship with Seoyeon. I've seen the reactions, and I thank God that most of them have been positive. I'll admit, During the conversations with BigHit, I was terrified. There were multiple times where I almost backed out, mainly because of the reactions I witnessed following our Los Angeles concert three years ago. But then, I realized something. The reason I came out in 2019 was because I didn't want to have to hide. People like me have been told our entire lives that our identities are things to be ashamed of. That we 'don't have to make it a big deal.' But that's exactly why we have to make it a 'big deal,' especially since I'm an idol. I don't want to put on a mask or live in a lie simply because I'm a celebrity. I want to live my authentic self to the best of my ability. I came out back then because I didn't care what others thought of me. Why should I care now? Of course, some of the reactions I saw back then nearly scared me back into submission. There was a reason I went on my brief hiatus back during our promos for Test Drive, and there's a reason why I didn't bring it up as often afterwards. But, now, since I'm three years older, I'm choosing to focus on the people that support and appreciate me. My teammates, my friends, my family, and of course, my girlfriend. If you don't like me, that's fine. But all I ask is that you respect me. But if you can't do that either, then you don't have to force yourself to support my group. One thing's for certain, though. I won't leave KRUSH because a few of our so-called fans refuse to accept me for me. I won't desert the girls I've trained for years with, I won't pretend to be someone I'm not, and I won't break up with Seoyeon. There's no changing my mind. To the GGBs who have supported me nonstop for three years, I can't even begin to express how thankful I am. You have made me feel so loved, even on days where I felt like the entire world was against me. You fought for me when I couldn't fight for myself. You tried your hardest to shield me from the hate, and for that, I am eternally grateful. I love you all so, so much. To my teammates, my family, and my friends, thank you for standing by me. Thank you for validating my identity and constantly reassuring me that what I did wasn't a mistake. Thank you for being there when I needed you and being my shoulder to cry on when this leader couldn't take it anymore. Everyone goes through tough times, but you put your struggles aside to help me get through mine. I'm crying all over again just thinking about it. And finally, to Seoyeon. To my wonderful girlfriend who I love so dearly. These last few years with you have been some of my best, even though I cried more often than I would've liked. Even though all of this made us go through a pretty rough patch, you've stood by me every step of the way, and you were there when I wanted nothing more than to just disappear. You're the greatest girlfriend I could've ever asked for, and now, you're still here while I'm staring millions in the face and telling them that I don't care anymore. You've gotten me to this point. I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you. I can say it a million times, to be honest. This is getting very long and very corny, so I just want to say thank you again. You all's boundless love for me has gotten me through this mess. Don't worry, a happier, stronger Kaleina will be back soon. Happy new year, by the way. Once again, thank you and I love you. Bye for now. <3 (And, because I know you're curious, Seoyeon and I have been dating since August 2020. You all can calm down now.)"

Immediately following her statement, Kaleina took to Instagram, and surprisingly, with her comments turned back on. She would post what is probably the cutest picture ever to her story, but what was even cuter? Sienna would respond.

Sienna responded to Kaleina's story just four minutes later, pretty much softlaunching their relationship to the world. Eagle-eyed GGBs took to noticing that the picture Sienna took was from some sort of vacation, most likely the one that Kaleina mentioned a year prior. And if you looked even closer, their new profile pictures were from the same vacation.

In the days following this, antis were quick to "push back," still petitioning for Kaleina's removal from KRUSH and still saying she was prioritizing her relationship over her group. They even started protesting outside HYBE's building. However, these protests were quickly shut down, and the Twitter thinkpieces were either ignored, criticized to hell, or reported.

Antis would try to keep going, spamming hate all down Kaleina's Instagram comments and trending "#KaleinaYouBetrayedUs" for days on end. What they failed to realize is that it wasn't 2019 anymore, and with KRUSH's much larger fanbase, all of that mess was quickly drowned out by much more positive comments/trends. Even into February, "#KaleinaWeLoveYou" and "#KRUSH_Is_4" occupied the first two spots on the trending page, and her comment sections from her Twitter posts to her Instagram to her Weverse updates were spammed with red hearts. It all came to a head during a live where GGBs spammed "we love you Kaleina" and those same red hearts all down the chat. The sheer outpouring of love brought Kaleina to tears.

By February, BigHit kicked the lawsuits up a notch. The accounts that been organizing protests, camping under Kaleina's posts, or just being straight up homophobic on Twitter dot com were all hit with a lawsuit of their own, and within the next few days, they were all gone. If it wasn't clear that BigHit was serious, it was clear now. Eventually, the 3-year-long hate train finally slowed to a stop.

In July, right after the release of Juicy, Kaleina and Sienna were seen outside of Music Core holding hands. Surprisingly, the fans there were all for it, and one of them even asked them to kiss. They didn't do that (unfortunately), but it was a far cry from the mess that was 2021.

And as for those antis? Well, no one really hears from them anymore. Guess it's hard to hate on someone who refuses to respond.

So, where are we at now? Well, aside from Kaleina and Sienna's sudden breakup during the Bad News era and the former's very brief relationship with a certain someone (which is a whole other can of worms), they've never been better.

In 2023, right after they got back together, Kaleina began showing up on Sienna's YouTube channel a lot more often. That same year, she was a guest on Street Woman Fighter 2. By early 2024, Koreaboo reported that the two had bought an apartment together in Hannam, and were living with Sienna's two cats and Kaleina's dog, Kyung-ah. And just last month, they launched their very own YouTube channel together, SeoKyung. There, they look like the blissful, homey couple they've always wanted to be, rather than two celebrities that just finished going through hell. Needless to say, it was a welcome surprise for Sienna and Kaleina's fans alike.

Moral of the story? Well, being a hateful freak isn't cute. If you spend most of your time screaming and crying because someone else is living their life, you should probably go find a hobby.

I can't believe this still needs to be said (and I hope Sienna proposes).

[littleshysheep-at-da]

Okay so like Kyouya is probably my fav KumoDesu Characters and I want to Post a Point about his Character that lives Rent Free in my head (and a bunch of stuff related to it) but I am gonna have to Trigger tag it.

So TW: Sucdial Idealization and PTSD

… I think the fact I didn’t censor those Words does mean this Post will be hidden by Tumblr more,,, sorry

But it think I would have to censor everything then RePost it for it not be hidden

Btw I always call him Kyouya because that is actually a real name and fantasy names (ie Wrath) just… doesn’t sound like a name to me and brain feels weird using it as such.

Also because this is from my Opinions Doc (tm) it is gonna mention some very briefly Ship Discourse stuff that I have Written Out but REFUSE to Post because I just feel it’s wrong too? Like I’ll mention NOTPs in passing but Posting a whole Rant about it just feels a wrong? If I ever Post it I won’t tag it.

Also Blatant OT3 Shun x Katia x Kyouya Vibes along with Shiro x Ariel as the Parents to Mera, Kyouya, and Sophia as Always.

Anyway!

-Kyouya Facade:

So a thing that bugs me A LOT is I’ve seen people dumb Kyouya down to “cool samurai” and it’s not that he isn’t but it’s one of those “people being wrong about a character in the way that character wants them to be”. Kyouya puts on the facade of being a cold heart warrior who doesn’t care about others but that is very explicitly explained as him forcing himself. The others see it too. When Shiro dispels Wrath (vol 9) she mentions he looks miserable. When Kyouya forces Katia to back down (vol 14) Shiro mentions it seems like he doesn’t want to be that way. Shun mentions there’s a moment we’re Kyouys seem just Broken and Tired (vol 15). It’s not sub text nor stubble so people missing it confuses me. Kyouya himself mentions (vol 13) that he feels he’s not allowed to be sympathetic to the soldiers he hurts. He feels he has to resolve himself to not show remorse (or pain or worry or his own feelings really) for his goal. That showing those emotions would be wavering and he can’t let it be in vain. But GOD reading his perspective from anywhere past vol 10 just sounds like Suicidal ideation. He intended to die for his goal so after the war I feel he would be the most lost and the most depressed. He goes from working 24/7 for this goal to just empty. He completed it and didn’t die, now what? Left alone with his thoughts would be torture. I think this is where the others come in strongly. Shun and Katia are both very good at reading people and I think they would be very firm about wanting to talk to him. I think Ariel would see the destructive thought processes she herself has had in the past and would intervene. Sophia wouldn’t get it whatsoever but she herself would get lonely and come up with excuses for them to hang out as a (family) group again so she would end up being helpful. I feel Mera would take longer to see it but once he does he’s very firm about Kyouya needing company.

-Kyouya vs Ariel Depression:

Side Note is I do not think Ariel is currently Suicidal when we meet her or onward of that. It sounds like she had a period of it during Sariel getting put into the system. Her relationship with thinking she’s gonna die during her mission is more of being realistic about her limits. She’s old as fuck and knows she won’t be able to last much longer but she’s not trying to die she just vaules her goal more than her life. Meanwhile though I say Actively Suicidal I think Kyouya is kinda unaware. He’s basically using the war as an excuse to chase death without being 100% aware. It’s honestly some very typical Romanticization of war and “Dying For The Cause” that we see him trying to use as a distraction. Past the Goblin Village he feels so broken and has lost sight of values and self worth. He tries to find a meaning to it all by dedicating himself to a cause (when he asks Ariel if there’s anything he can do for this world vol 8) but the reality of war just hurts him further. The line from Dustin about how “if they stop now how can they justify all the lives they’ve already sacrificed for the cause” (vol 16? And Dustin sunk cost fallacy much?) if it kinda makes everything worse for Kyouya. Kyouya already felt like he wasn’t allowed to feel bad for the things he’s done because he made his choice but this sort of cements the “if I’m sorry I wasn’t ready or serious enough” in his mind. It’s basically a terrible spiral of a philosophy that goes against the first thing any therapist would ever tell you and that is “do not bottle up your feelings” the feelings are not the issues it’s how we react to them.

Unfortunately this is actually pretty common in how real world trauma is handled, and is something that the Romanticization of War does in real life (though this also applies to all trauma because I need people to stop thinking war is the only thing you can get PTSD from). The thing with trauma is well intentioned people will tell you you're still the same person, basically trying to refute that you're broken saying you still have the same value. But the thing is trauma does permanently change you (side note life in general will change you anyway so it’s not like you would remain unchanged either way). You will never be the same person and people trying to insist a traumatic event didn’t change you often feel like invalidating that experience. You still have value is a good thing to say but not when it unhinges on you being unchanged. When we treat soldiers as heroes to look up to and don’t acknowledge the complicated horrible reality of war we’re creating a situation where they will have trouble addressing their trauma. If everyone’s treating them like a hero how come they don’t feel like one basically (war is bad basically but I digress).

KumoDesu is accidentally a really good Story about War that does not shy away from harsh realities.

Kyouya Housewife:

I think what Kyouya wants in life is to be a Housewife ngl. Like he was most satisfied working to support people he was close to both in his past life online game and the goblin village. Plus I think though he did that by making weapons he would prefer not to have to fight. What if he makes good knives and just starts cooking for people, I think it would be good for him. Like I don’t have more words right now so this is short but I could go off here.

We can most compare him to Emiya Archer from Fate here ngl (his skill is basically Emiya Archer too). And even the most DudeBros Asshats still know Archer is a HouseWife at heart (which, to get on a Ship Discourse thing from earlier, is why it bothers me so much why I see people try to portray Kyouya as “Masc Cool Silent” type because if you understood Archers implications how did you misunderstand Kyouya direct wording of perfecting support roles?). The Emiya Archer thing is a big reason I think Kyouya should learn how to cook and/or eventually be good at cooking. It just suits his character type. Or maybe Kyouya should get way too into Gardening lol. He already has experience in that.

-Gonna add some Relevant stuff about Shun and Katia here BTW!

-Shun is the anti Toxic Masculinity:

So if it’s not obvious let me point this out; Shun is a Parody of the overpowered Isekai Protagonist. Basically he’s set up to look like he’s in the position of one but his internal monologue basically tells us how deeply unprepared he is. I was surprised that some LN readers dislike him, I thought most of his hate came from the terrible Adaptation version of him. But thinking for the short bit it makes sense, he is the Anti Power Fantasy (and Anti-Incel lol, not all harem fantasy is Incel-ish but OH BOY HAVE I SEEN SOME SHIT). Shun is basically a realistic mentality of “a fantasy world without modern luxury would suck actually” and is realistically woefully underprepared for everything (Shinji Ikari from Eva vibes anyone? Expect like a healthier person). And look maybe it’s just because my health is terrible and I could not survive without modern science but I personally have never had the desire to go to a fantasy world and have never really understood the want some people have (I just wanna read weeb shit I’m good). It’s sad it takes till vol 15 where Shun has THE BEST rant internal monologue about how he’s basically an npc and is soooo unprepared for all this hero nonsense.

We also get a lot about Shun’s discomfort with killing (I believe in vol 15 if not 14) and how it’s just something he never had to think about. He’s never even had to kill for food so how easy death is and how little life is worth in a fantasy is something he has a lot of trouble reconciling with.

I will say the biggest point I want to make is that Shun actually has a pretty Healthy Mentality during the whole Series due to one key trait: he is completely unafraid to admit to his weakness and ask for help. He knows he’s useless in some regards but has absolutely no problem with admitting that and instead looking for things he can do. He does not have the mentality of bottling up his feelings or needing to put on a strong face. A good character comparison would be Stark from Frieren, he is fearful but that does not make him weak, it makes him stronger to be able to acknowledge how he actually feels. I also really like how appreciative Shun is of the help he receives. He knows where he stands and knows he would be lost without the people helping them and lets them know (especially him and Katia, he’s very blunt about how much is a help to him).

Now I don’t think Shun should be in a Leader/Hero role though, and the thing is he knows he’s unqualified as a Hero. It’s just so out of the scope of anything he’s used to and he makes this point. Shun is basically a npc that was destined to be a Salaryman. Again that “your modern everyday person is used to the relatively peaceful modern convenience”. I will also argue that Shun does not have a Hero Complex or feel he needs to be a hero. It’s more he’s trying to emulate Julius, who is someone he looked up to greatly, because he has no idea what else to do.

Bonus another point about him being a joke on Isekai Protags is he is surrounded by women but only Katia is actually a love interest to him. Anna is basically his Mom, Miss Oka is also a Guidance/Teacher Figure, Fei is his friend (and probably more of a sibling than Sue), Sue is actually unhinged insane, and Yuri is a different brand of unhinged insane disconnected with reality (think she only likes Shun because he’s the Hero and that what the church said the saint should follow). So aside from Katia everyone falls into Familiar/Friend or Batshit insane.

-Shun and Julius:

The fun part about Shun as a Character is he is painfully aware how much of an NPC he is and that he doesn’t fit the role of Hero. Which is why I think he looks up to Julius so much and later on tries to emulate him. He quite frankly knows he has NO IDEA what he is doing and wants to be as level headed and smart as Julius. I think that his idol-like obsession with Julius comes from his own insecurities.

-Katia Anxiety:

I think Katia is very protective of her boys. It’s kinda obvious when she meets Shun again and then when they get in dangerous situations. She’s so scared of losing the people she cares about (I think she’s often the most aware of how different and how dangerous the fantasy world is compared to their previous lives). I think the realization Kyouya probably isn’t on their side (because of how Oka kept avoiding the topic) probably hurt her a lot, because she doesn’t want to abandon him but also is too scared about losing Shun as it is (and I feel like when she puts everything together after the fact she feels super guilty for not pressing more). It kinda seemed she really didn’t have many people she was close to in her past life and the fact that Shun (and I’m gonna Headcanon here later Kyouya) still accept her despite everything that’s “different” (cough cough egg cracked) is huge to her. I’m glad in the Novel Shun always does a very good job conveying how much he appreciates, relays on, and trusts her because god she needs it.

[bazeartstuff]

A Cruel God Reigns Stuff

Hello.. this functions as a repaint of sorts. I read Hagio Moto's A Cruel God Reigns more than 4 years ago and it always stuck with me as some of the most harrowing and depressing manga I had ever read... I recently reread it and discovered even more to appreciate about its torturously evil narrative. So much so that I frantically wrote about arguably the most grueling thing to read about... Ian and Jeremy's relationship.. I find that there is unfortunately not much discourse about this manga online, so if you'd like to hear some random person's opinion, then it's attached under the cut.

About the painting itself.. I'm not really too happy with it (what artist is satisfied with their own painting, really..) but I think Jeremy came out very well, which was all I really wanted tbh. I added in Ian and that as a means to try painting him, but I only intended the painting to be a more literal repaint of the older one. I'm happy to say that I've finally figured out how to paint pale people, lmao. And I'm happy that Jeremy looks so corpse-like. I'm happy with his face.

I also used a Gouache brush set I didn't really understand how to use here and I found myself to be very happy with my experiments with it. I will use it more whenever I paint.

Anyway, if you can believe it, more rambles under the cut (the manga discussion).

TW//discussions of SA

Ian and Jeremy's relationship is definitely weird, and not just because of the incestuous undertones but also because of the dynamics at play by the end; I think it's relevant that Jeremy a) seems to love (in the romantic sense, considering how Ian's lips are described as warm to him, as opposed to the cold lips of most) and be affected by Ian and b) also seems to consider sex as punishment. From the beginning of their sexual relationship, Jeremys only rationale for continuing is the belief that he needs to be punished for being a murderer, and Ian is the only one who can do this. And the punishment is sex. Moreover, Jeremy's perspective of love is obviously influenced by the "love" he experienced by Greg; a love that is violence. Because of this, Jeremy is afraid to love others because of his natural aversion to violence. From Jeremy's perspective, he seems to continue the relationship with Ian initially because of this desire for punishment and his underlying desire for Ian. However, upon the closure he seems to receive from visiting Sandra's grave and the discussion on the nature of love he has with Ian, he becomes more open to the idea of being in love with Ian. However, I can't shake off that by nature of their relationship being occasional rather than consistent, there still remains that element of habitual punishment to Jeremy.

This is Jeremy's perspective on the relationship, which I feel is more complex and what makes the relationship itself so difficult to understand. This is obviously in part because Jeremy himself is difficult to understand as a consequence of everything he went through. However, his beliefs about love being vindictive and that sex is punishment are I believe quintessential.

Going to Ian, I think it's a lot easier of a story. Between the two of them, Ian is absolutely reprehensible. As peaceful as the ending seems to depict the two, it's undeniable that Ian is sinister in the way he abuses Jeremy. I can't say that the ending is happy. However, I dont disbelieve that that might be intended; I think the greatness of this manga comes from its portrayals of broken people as imperfect. Healing is not linear, and it is not sensical. Jeremy has assuredly healed, he has gotten better, but this doesn't erase the deep scar that will remain on his perspective on life and his prospective relationships with others. Once again I digress to Jeremy, who genuinely is a very fascinating character. I was supposed to talk about Ian, so I'll say it; he's controlling and takes after Greg in that regard. As rational and reasonable as Ian is, as seemingly open to criticism as he pretends to be, as understanding as he posits to be, ultimately Ian wants things to go his way and he's very much subject to his own impulses. His way is having control over Jeremy and his impulses are his desires for Jeremy (whether it stems from guilt or responsibility, it ultimately becomes irrelevant once Ian's heart is set on Jeremy). This is most emblematic in the final trip he goes on with Jeremy, where he makes an advance despite promising he wouldn't. As a means to justify himself, he believes Jeremy being aroused was essentially a go ahead for him. All he wants is Jeremy to be his own, and he doesn't truly care what Jeremy says in a moment of passion. In this regard, it's undeniable that Ian is an abuser. The countless times that he betrays and hurts Jeremy are stomach churning to read. But what's worse is, despite all this reprehensibility, Ian is not as plainly evil as Greg. It's not power that motivates him or a desire to control. I believe he genuinely loves Jeremy, but his love does not entail respecting Jeremy's agency.  I also think that Ians initial obligation to Jeremy was the idea that he wanted to fix him, which likely stemmed from his denial that anything had happened at all (if he fixes him, then all can be well, and he won't have to come to terms with the broken Jeremy). The entire time where they're "stranded" and basically having sex like rabbits was likely Ian's attempt to force Jeremy to have a regular perspective on sex and love again. But of course, Ian, being the controlling person he is, does it only to satisfy the belief that he's helping rather than truly trying to help Jeremy (because seriously, how is forcing yourself onto a victim of SA helping them?) I really hate Ian, but it's more because he's unfortunately not wholly evil. I realize that I initially implied that Ian was more simple than Jeremy, but upon further consideration, he's probably even more hard to understand than Jeremy because his seemingly good intentions lead to abhorrently abusive outcomes.

This manga has so much going for it in terms of subject matter and discussions, and the two key characters are evidently extremely complex to the extent that having read the manga two times I still find myself pondering. The postulating on love from the perspective of someone whose only known a perverted version of it is fantastic and harrowing. Ian also acts as the perfect example to Jeremy of how violent love seems, considering how often Ian's thoughts and actions turn to violence around Jeremy (and I consider Ian forcing himself onto Jeremy violence too, of course). There's also a whole can of worms with Ian and Jeremy's relationships with their respective mothers, which seems to just be a consistent throughline with Moto's work.

Also, a small consistent detail I enjoyed was how quickly Jeremy is able to lie and cover up the abuse he faced with benign situations. And how this eventually clashes with Ian, who finds it weird that Jeremy lies and takes responsibility when it's his fault (I recall the one time Ian hit Jeremy and Jeremy quickly explained it as an injury from PE, to which Ian immediately denies and says it was him who did It). However, by the end, I think Ian somewhat participates In that instinctual lying (but maybe I misremember). There's a lot to appreciate about the writing. 

If you read this far, and also have opinions, do share! I really liked hearing my friend's first impression upon reading this pretty out-there manga, so...

[the-thunderbabies]

Thunderbabies* Introduction

Hello, Everyone.

It is Yelena Belova, your favorite eh, what are we calling ourselves now? Avengers? Thunderbolts? Whatever. Welcome to our regression blog. Don't ask why I made it. Not even I know. Anyways heres some ground rules.

RULES

Please keep things civil. Last thing I want is to have to filter out through more drama than usual. (I already get enough of that from Walker.)

Venting is okay....to an extent. Any serious vents will be deleted or ignored. We are not your therapist. ......I've gotten word from Bob that saying that was too mean. Just don't bring so much negativity into the space. Yes?

We will get to your ask eventually. We are still "superheroes" you know. Sometimes we do not have time to answer asks.

If something goes beyond me or any other Thunderbolts boundaries we are absolutely shutting it down

If you are under the age of 15 please do not dm unless important.

BYI (OOC)

This is a RP blog with my own headcannons. I am not a system, I am a singlet.

I am 19 years old, and have AuDHD + Depression + Anxiety and is a Full time college student, with multiple other blogs. This is just a side blog. It may take a while to get to asks. I also know little to nothing about the COMIC Thunderbolts* and this blog is based off of the MCU movie. I'm also Transmasc (He/they), Afro-Hispanic, and a Flip (Has no cg or little). This blog does have spoilers for the movie. Beware. Mild cursing might also appear on this blog. Big tws for mentions/depictions of guns, abuse, child abuse, torture, mind control, panic attacks, and mild blood. Every post with these will have a trigger warning.

At the end of the day I hold all right to delete/not answer certain asks. Please do not take it personally if I don't answer certain asks. (Most of the time its because im not sure how to answer/respond to the ask)

Main agere oc rp blog: @blues-agere-toybox

Good Omens (CG!Aziraphale) blog: @your-angelic-caregiver

Personal Regression/spam blog: @baby-blues-playroom

DNI

You support DDLG/ABDL

If your blog is a kink blog or reblogs NSFW things

If you are a TERF, LGBTQ+ Exclusionist, Transmed or other

Trump Supporter/Conservative

Are racist, homophobic, misogynistic etc.

Apart of ED or SH tumblr/Glorify these things

Think cringe exists/shame people for their intrests

Anti Agere, Furry, Therian, Petre, and other

Sexualize use of diapers and padding

Anti-Palestine/Pro-Israel

Proshippers, MAPS, lolicons, etc.

Bot accs/Blank accs

People under 13, people over 30

Discourse accs

Anons

🩷,🐁, 💖, 🦊, 🌙, 🔱, 🌼

Ask Box (OPEN)

4

Thunderbolts* Introductions

Now that all of that rules and guidlines crap has been put into place I guess its time to give our own little introductions.

Yelena Belova

"Wow. It's me. Your favorite. Nice to see you too."

Pronouns: She/They

Roles: Flip (No Lean) , Trauma Regressor, Baby Regressor, Kid Regressor, Big Sister Caregiver

Little Age: 1-12

Special Note: Eats WAY too much pudding when regressed.

Font Color: Orange

Tags: #Ask Flip Yelena

Alexei Andreovitch Shostakov

"HAHA! YES!!! IT IS ME! RED GUARDIAN! I AM HERE TO TAKE CARE OF THE LITTLE ONES!"

Pronouns: He/Him

Roles: Caregiver, Father Caregiver

Special Note: Ends up yelling right after putting kiddos down for naptime due to not knowing how to control his volume. Has to put them all back to bed again...

Font Color: Red

Tags: #Ask CG Red Guardian

James Buchanan (Bucky) Barnes

"Hey. Uh...kiddos. Don't expect to see me regressed often. Or at all for that matter. Also, please don't terrorize Alpine alright? Just give her gentle pats and some space okay?"

Pronouns: He/They

Roles: Flip (Regressor Lean), Trauma Regressor, Baby Regressor, Protective Caregiver, Padded Regressor

Little Age: 0-5

Special Note: Usually regressed more often around Steve and Sam, without them he tries to hide or hold back on regressing. Hes not used to letting his walls down so easily. Hopefully that changes.

Font Color: Purple

Tags: #Ask Flip Bucky

Ava Starr

".....I'll give you an extra lollipop is you go over to Walker and bite him."

Pronouns: They/She

Roles: Flip (CG Lean), Aunt Caregiver, Big Sister regressor, Older Kid regressor, Padded Regressor

Little Age: 8-16

Special Note: Ultimate Wine Mom when caregiving. And does in fact use her powers to steal candies/snacks.

Font Color: Pink

Tags: #Ask Flip Ghost

Johnathan (John) F. Walker

"What? What the hell is this?"

Pronouns: He/Him

Roles: ???

Little Age: ????

Special Note: Doesn't understand regression no matter how much its explained to him. Insists hes not a caregiver or a little, but just the other day Bucky SWEARS he saw him throw a tantrum. Probrably nothing right? I mean hes already a manchild-

"I am NOT a manchild alright? I just don't do....whatever the hell this is. Im a Veteran not a-"

Ok. We've heard enough from you. Moving on.

Font Color: Blue

Tags: #Ask Agere John Walker

Robert (Bob) Reynolds

"Oh-is-is it me? I-im next...? Hi.."

Pronouns: He/They

Roles: Regressor, Trauma regressor, Baby Regressor, Toddler Regressor, BPD regressor, Little Brother regressor, Clingy regressor, Crybaby regressor, Padded Regressor

Little Age: 0-4

Special Note: Is always attached at the hip to Yelena when regressed. Will panic and cry if he cant find her. Is always very nervous of accidentally becoming Sentry or Void when regressing, their tantrums are BAD.

Font Color: Green

Tags: #Ask Little Bob