#depressiom

[desultory-suggestions]

just asking for advice, you're not forced to answer ofc

i struggle a lot with motivation, when i force myself to do things, it just doesn't feel right, and i feel so guilty about it, things like going to school or even brushing my teeth, it's all pointless and physically exhausting

idk if i'm just lazy or smt

anyway, any tips for folks with low motivation?

Hello, love! Thank you for your patience. Motivation is such a common struggle. I use some unconventional study and motivation tactics personally, as someone with ADHD and Dyslexia I have to get through a lot of nonsense to do basic things. First, you are not lazy! The idea today of laziness is very frustrating to me, and I feel is built on capitalist (and white supremacist) ideals. See the NAP Ministry.

According to The (USA) National Library of Medicine, "Executive dysfunction is commonly seen in major depression. The types of executive deficits seen in depression include problems with planning, initiating, and completing goal-directed activities." Anyone struggling with depression, whether an episode or long-term can struggle with these basic tasks. So how can we deal with this?

Some different techniques that may help:

Talk through the tasks you need to do out loud. You can discuss them in linear order or not. Don't focus on making them perfect and detailed, just explain it like you would to a friend.

Explain what you are doing as if someone is watching you/you're teaching someone. This is how I motivate myself when studying/working out/etc. and shows you that you do know what you are doing.

Break tasks down into smaller pieces to help them be more manageable, or simplify the ones that seem too complicated. (For this I need to do x, then y, then z. I don't need to overthink brushing my teeth, it's okay to just go do it.

Ask someone to be your accountability buddy. Body doubling/parallel play can be very useful. I ask my partner to brush his teeth with me so I have someone else there.

Accept that you don't need to do 100% of everything. You can't brush, floss, and use mouthwash? Okay brush for even just thirty seconds, it's better than nothing!

Utilize tools, but don't try to make it fancy. Aesthetics can be helpful and motivating, they can also apply pressure to make everything look good. Google Calendar or a messy notebook is good enough.

Surrounds tasks with cushioning time to relax. Even for little tasks, you can promise yourself rest before and after. Likewise, do enjoyable things during arduous tasks. Watch a silly video, playa. song!

Consider what the biggest obstacle is. Does it feel pointless? Do you want to do it? If not, why not? How can you change what is making you avoidant? If you do want to, what feels like it's stopping you? A specific fear? Or an impenetrable wall? These questions help define the next steps.

Accept you cannot do everything, especially not when you are suffering. You deserve help and it's okay to ask for it. Professional help is important when conquering issues with motivation whether from depression, ADHD, etc. Medications, therapy, and more can improve your mood.

Some tools I use:

Brushout - An app to help you brush your teeth for the right amount of time. Simple, and makes a nice dinging sound. Can be added as a widget to your home screen on iPhones.

Google Calendar - Also simple. Easy to click and add events and get reminders for things creeping up on you.

Mnemosyne Notebook - Ok the brand doesn't matter but the paper in this is so smooth and it makes me want to use it. But yes a notebook to organize thoughts.

Little Treats - I like to keep little snacks and treats around for working on things I have been struggling with. You don't have to wait until after, let yourself fuse joy with your efforts.

You do not need to be ashamed for struggling. No matter the reason or the manner, we all go through difficult things. Reach out, and don't give up. Feel free to ask for more information or advice again.

Best,

Evan

[pumpkino0]

Kill me

[innerpeacellama]

I cannot deal with family during the holidays I'm too moody and faking happiness will be exhausting

[adhdcopingskills]

[watchouttheworldisallover]

I cannot even begin to say how much the character max on stranger things season 4 was relatable to me. I have always felt the way she did in that season battling with depression.

When her encounter with vecna comes up and she is fighting him with that music saving her, grounding her, I cried the hardest I have since before I can remember.

I don't think many films or TV shows can encompass how I feel most days, not like that.

Music has always had such an impact of my life. A lot of the time in my youth I'd use it to drown out the intrusive thoughts that'd lurk in the darkest crevices of my mind.

People often asked me how I could always walk around with headphones in. I would smirk and deflect, when instead I actually wanted to ask them how they managed to survive without it.

That scene fully encompassed what it is to me to battle depression. Max running to safety is my every day struggle and it's the best way it's been explained in a very long time. The crying in relief of seeing what makes me hold on and there is, in fact, something worth fighting for.

Thank you Sadie sink. Thank you duffer brothers. You have no idea how much this show means to me.

[rhube]

Everything breaks.

[extendedegodeath]

I got irrationally angry at a nothing problem today, and it was the most exciting thing to happen to me in months. I haven't had the energy to be truly mad about anything in years, and today, dropping a sprite on the floor made me feel more alive than any sex or drug has in so long.

Depression is wild. I'm gonna ride this high for a while.

[lightreacher]

REASONS TO LIVE

You’re in the darkest deepest part of your hole of depression. You feel helpless, hopeless, useless, and worthless. You see your existence as a burden to your family and friends, and you just can’t stand living in so much pain anymore. It seems like your life is useless and there is no way out of that dark hole except to take your life. You keep asking yourself “why am I alive? What good am I to…

[buildanewtomorrow]

Being alone is a decision. If you feel really lonely, thats not 'alone', thats depressed. Get help. And get motivated again! All by yourself! Be within you first. Be excited about you. Take care and have fun with you. And the right people will come into your life and stay. Why? Because you are light. That irridates everything and everyone you find in your journey. A light cant be diminished is a light that everyone wants to be close and take care of it.

[wack-ashimself]

Having the two closest friends to me suffer from depression, to the point both of them have said they want to kill themselves or die, is not making me any happier.

I don't care how selfish this sounds but what is the point of being friends with people who are ALWAYS sad? And leech off of your happiness? Because I've had to deal with my own issues all of my life, got through most of them, now I got to help everybody through theirs? Don't get me wrong I'm here to be your friend. I'm here to help. I want to help. But I've been literally friends with both of them and almost the entire time they've been depressed. One of them DECADES. There's nothing I can say or do. And neither will go to therapy which is what they both really need. They just want to hop themselves up on distractions and drugs. I don't blame them. It's more affordable and easier. But it doesn't get the job done. I think the reason I'm ranting right now is because I can't tell them this because it will just make them more depressed* and I have no one to tell... I don't care that I have friends with issues. Everybody has issues. I do care that they define themselves by their issues, bring me down with them, and never try to fix those issues. That's just selfish. It's why one of my friends I told them I am not your entertainment box. I'm not here to make you always happy and satisfied. Not your prostitue. Because if that's the truth and that's what friendships do, you sure as hell are not being my entertainment box. The world sucks, everybody has some level of depression, but it doesn't mean you get to use it as an excuse to be a s***** person all the time. Maybe you're sad cuz you're a s***** person?

* it's so bad that if they ever read this I'm pretty sure one of them would at least contemplate suicide. How do you emotionally and spiritually handle two different friends like that? And one friend is actually pretty cool. She just had a s***** life. Like seriously one of the worst lives you can imagine. The other friend is just undependable and selfish. He's the one who brings me down the most. I mean he said he would mail me something over a year ago and he just got around to finding it. A small item took a year to find. That's how bad he is. Then he'll lie so he won't have to have an uncomfortable conversation. Says he's not the same person he was two decades ago while doing the same things he did two decades ago. Ironically hilarious to me. He's so proud of how much he changed when he's barely scratched the surface. He was a piece of s*** now he's a smaller piece of s***. Still a piece of s***. Let me put it this way. My sister would rather me invite a complete stranger than him to her wedding because he bugs her that much. Originally I actually stuck up for him. Now I understand why she's doing it.

[echoes-lost]

Just saw a post about someone doodling snails on their papers in school and it reminded me of something.

I would draw A LOT and on EVERYTHING at school. Once, I drew a sleeping girl and a creepy clown on a test. They were two separate doodles but it looked like the creepy clown was dragging the girl's dead body.

That teacher saw it as the second interpretation and pulled me aside to ask if I was okay, which is really nice of her. I laughed, told her no, it's just the unfortunate placement of two random sketches.

Except I was very much not okay at that time but it had nothing to do with the drawing so yeah. Anyway when I actually tried to get help in high school, the school therapist said I wasnt a danger to myself or others and thus wasnt important.

I think that shaped me as a person.

[spoopy-sloth]

THEY'RE SINGIMG LINDA RONSTANT AAAAAAAH

[pumpkino0]

Do you ever get that feeling of utter lonlyness that you feel mainly when you're with other people. Like your body suddenly empty and you feel like sinking and it's so horrible and disgusting, but there is nothing you can do other than wait for it to go away? I hate it.

[adhdcopingskills]

Do you feel like the days are blending together and you feel lost trying to keep time with the date or days of the week?

Choose something in your life to take pictures of every day. Whether its your outfit, your to do list for the day, a selfie with at least one other person, etc. Something that will generally change at least a little day to day. You can choose more than one or switch up what you take pics of everyday. Whatever works for you.

You can remember to do this by writing 'take pic of outfits!’ on your hand, your mirror, or put a sticky note next to your door. If you forget, it doesn't matter. These are tools for you to use when you see fit.

When you want to remember what day you did a certain thing the previous week, such as what day your period started or when you started a new medication, and the pictures will often help you remember even if the pictures have nothing to do with what you want to remember.

Pro tip: if you struggle to remember to eat, or struggle to remember what different things you like to eat, choose food as your daily picture fodder. The more you take pictures of food and look back at pictures of food you made or ate, the more your brain will think about food and you'll start to remember to eat more often.

[wormholxtreme]

@ppctts said: 🖊 + the moment she was really sure she & Athan are soulmates

(@telipatia)

Drabble Meme

When did it happen? Was it a singular event that captivated Kaylee's heart? It couldn't have been. Even in the times when her mind was shrouded in shadow there he was by her side. To call that love would be a lie but he was made for her, and she was made for him. That's how it was presented. They were unstoppable to say the least. She'd seen a rage in his eyes turn to something different, something of an awe as he look to her in all her infectious glory. A look that Kaylee adored. No person before him had ever made her feel equal. They mocked her, manipulated her, used her. But not Athan. Sure, he was rough around the edges. He didn't understand a lot of Kaylee's quirks. But he was a quick study. He learned fast what it meant to be her treasured lover and despite the havoc he waged against everyone else, he was more careful with her heart than anyone before him.

But that love was tainted. Showing each other the darkest parts of themselves that when the light poured in, Artemis to Athan and Sophie to Kaylee, there was nothing holding them together. Well…almost nothing.

Even with the baby, Kaylee would have let him walk out of her life forever. But his sisters had other plans. She felt caged with their presence and pressure but she agreed to walk with Athan around the block. There was something so different about him now. The rage in his eyes that she'd fallen for at her worst was mere storm clouds. She waited to let him speak but everything about him seemed so different that she couldn't hear a word he was saying. Just a loud buzzing in her ears until the spots filled her vision. She felt so dizzy and he was the only thing she could grab onto. Her fingers intertwining with his as she went down.

Kaylee squinted her eyes open to the bright lights of the Avengers hospital wing. She was tucked safely in bed, a sharp feeling in her arm. Groaning she looked down seeing the needle under her skin, the line attached to a saline bag. Kaylee reached over to pull the needle out. She hated needles ever since she was a child. Her eyes flashed to the bracelet on her other arm. The only way they could have gotten the needle in her was with a power inhibitor. She was so weak already that the loss of her powers was almost too much to bare. 

And then he came out of no where. That storm in his eyes back to rage. "I know you're mad at me." She told him defiantly "So say what you're going to say." She could feel the heat of anger wave off of him but he wouldn't relent. The refusal sparking anger in her too. She reached out with both palms and shoved him "Say it!! Athan just fucking say what you want to say!!" Her hands on his chest trying to push into him to no avail. That spark in her died out as quickly as it came. Her face in his chest as tears rolled down her cheeks, muttering into him.

And then he surprised her again, scooping her off the floor and carrying her back to bed. How did he do that? In one act, even as he was seething, he was gentle with her. It's only for the baby. Kay was certain. But she promised him anyway to try. She'd try to sleep. She'd try to eat. As long as he was trying to get better from the abuse Lady Death had bestowed on him, she would too.

After that day, Kaylee never pushed him away when he showed up to her penthouse. But he always paid the toll. A different kind of food each time. The first time she laughed in a long time was watching him try out chopsticks. "Okay okay stop let me show you." She reached out taking his hands in hers, setting them between his fingers and guiding him to pick up a dumpling. "Perfect but now that's mine." She grinned bending under to snag the dumpling from the chopsticks and grinned at him. "Soooo I wanted to ask you if you'd be willing to help me with my new powers." She asked him. The titan magic that pulsed in her veins frightened her and who was better than him to help her control it.

His face was priceless the worry etched into his feature. "Just training darling!" She told him affectionately not catching the pet name until his curious gaze matched hers. Her true smile faltered and she cleared her throat before letting her mask of a simplier smile set in place.

Once they hit the gym, his strength threatened to overpower hers but Kaylee had her secret weapon. She'd pulse a yellow glow with purple flecks and double her strength class. But she had something more on her mind. A mischievous grin until she twisted out of his grasp, floating just out of reach. "You'll have to catch me first!" She giggled swimming through the air gracefully. Athan mere steps behind her but not quite fast enough to catch her. She spun and flipped taking to the sky out of the tower, daring him to follow. She could have sworn she saw a smile on his face. Where did that dimple come from? Lost in his smile she lost her edge and his hands grasped her tightly.

Kaylee gasped, another giggle escaping her lips she relented under his touch. "You uh you caught me." She spoke softly, brushing his hair back away from his face with the softest touch.

After that she found herself stealing glances. Hoping to catch a glimpse of that smile again. Not knowing what could trigger it, but a desire to want to be the one to bring it out in him. But as much fun as games of chase were, she found herself losing stamina.

He started pushing her toward the bedroom when she'd yawn. "I'm fine really." She'd protest but all it took was a raised brow to get her to sigh in resignation. "Okay but…" Kay blushed slightly, heat rising into her cheeks as her request hit the tip of her tongue "will you come with? I uh…I sleep better with someone next to me right now." Usually it was Sophie but she wasn't going to be there until later.

An awkward shuffle. The two hadn't spent the night in the same bed since they were under Lady Death's spell. But when Athan wrapped his arms around her Kay never felt safer. She settled down nuzzling into his chest and drifted off. For the first time since she found out about the baby she slept peacefully. No nightmares to speak of.

A new routine. One that Kaylee welcomed. Dinner and sleep. Something she hadn't really done before but with Athan's influence became ordinary.

She grew to be spoiled by his presence. And not just her. Whether it was the butterflies he gave her or the sound of his voice, Kay felt the baby kick when she was around him. Her heart longed for him when he wasn't there but she dare not admit it yet. They had gone through so much and the walk back from hell wasn't over yet.

A night Athan wasn't there. A night when Kaylee agreed to stay home for his sanity was the worst day of her life. They poured in through shadows, windows, and doors. Relentless. But Kaylee was just as tenacious. Until she turned and came face to face with Lady Death. A hand reached out, a flash and the entity's hand changed into a skeleton, the boney finger touching Kay's forehead knocking her to the floor.

She woke up on the cold floor of a cell. Shackles bound her wrists and ankles. Kaylee struggled against them to no avail. Shackles built for gods. Even with all her power, Kaylee was left helpless.

Agony ripped through her belly. They were cutting into her abdomen, the only care they took was to not hit the baby. They couldn't care less what organs of Kay's they sliced through. She screamed but stayed still. "I'm. Going. To. Kill. You." She said through gritted teeth, getting a sneered laugh in return. And then she heard the cry. Tears rolled down her cheeks knowing it was too late.

And then he was there. Arms delicately pulling her from the ground. His voice calling her name from beyond the veil. It was the sweetest sound she ever heard. "A-athan go get him." She squeezed his hand with the little strength she had left. Blood pooled around them. Her healing factor trying to do it's work but there was so much damage it was anyone's guess. She wanted to tell him more. She wanted to go through all those memories and point to each one that made her love him. Each detail about him that made her heart flutter. It wasn't a singular moment but a collection of pieces that brought them here. Maybe it was their destiny but they were so much more than Death could have ever imagined. They weren't two souls cut from the same star. They were two souls who in the end chose each other even if the dominos were stacked in place for them. "Go find our son." She told him, a soft smile to her lips. A trust in him to protect the thing they both treasured the most. And in that moment she knew. She knew she loved him.

[silks-up-my-sleeve]

Why am I spending every night fighting sleep, as if that's not the only thing I do lately?